#why does he look sad? i dunno. just wanted to draw him like this i guess.

[khloxxy]

America eating chesebuger :3

i referenced a jerma pic for this LMAO

Ref:

[im14andivebeen14foramonth]

ADHD CURTIS BROTHERS HCS PLEASEEEEE 🙏

YESSS I FUCK WITH THIS HEAVY

Ponyboy

pony's most apparent symptom is his inattentiveness. his head is always up in the clouds, and he spends a looot of time daydreaming

very very very forgetful, mostly about his own needs. he'll go days without brushing his teeth if darry doesn't remind him

pony has a bad habit of zoning out while looking directly at people, so they just look over and his eyes are like wide and glazed over and staring into their souls. it especially freaks steve out for some reason. "QUIT STARING AT ME LIKE THAT!!" "huh?"

he can't get himself to do his homework in a timely manner. he works best under pressure and so he'll just procrastinate it until the night before it's due and then he locks in

when he does lock in like that, he's practically dead to the world. bro forgets to eat and drink and move his body for like hours at a time until darry or soda makes him get up and he's just like "ow. ow. ow. everything hurts"

he's still hyperactive though and it drives darry crazy sometimes. when he's with the rest of the gang is when it really spikes, and he'll start running all around the house with them. darry can tell though when he needs to get his energy out because he'll just start following darry around the house and bounce around or drum his fingers on every single thing he can. when he gets like that, darry will ask him if he wants to go for a run or play football or smthn so that he can get his energy out

bro WILL hyper fixate on every single thing he's interested in, his consistent ones are books and movies, but sometimes he'll just spend hours a day thinking about one specific book or drawing one character from the latest movie he's seen

it's always a 50/50 on whether he's going to have lots of fun or get super overstimulated in different places. like in grocery stores, after a half hour he's ready to start crying and he'll usually just get quiet and not leave darry's side until they leave. but he thrives in other places like fairs and festivals, and enjoys the bright lights and loud music

he doesn't have great control over his temper. he gets frustrated super easily and will get snappy over the smallest things, but almost every time without fail it ends with him crying and feeling bad

Sodapop

this man may just be the most hyperactive person ever

he will NOT stay in one place for more than five minutes at a time. he's always running around the house, and when he does stay in one spot, he's shaking/bouncing his leg the entire time

like pony though, he gets his moments where he locks in and they're the only times that he doesn't break focus no matter what. he'll go from talking nonstop to just being dead silent as he tries to fix something on a car at work and it freaks steve out

he's so bad with rejection :( even if it's something as small as someone saying they don't like his favorite car, or they're not in the mood to talk about horses, he'll get so sad and feel like his interests are stupid

he cries a lot no matter what he's feeling. if he gets frustrated, angry, or scared, he'll start crying and his energy goes through the roof

soda is easily the most forgetful person any of the gang has ever met. he'll forget what day it is, to put shoes on, to take food out of the oven, everything. it's mostly a short-term memory issue. however, his memory will be really good for oddly specific things. steve: "remember that time I got a cold or something in like elementary school and-" "oh yeah that tuesday in october in first grade when you were wearing that red shirt and you kept sneezing during story time :)" "why do you remember that??" "I dunno"

when he gets overstimulated it's BAD. it doesn't happen often, but when it does, he'll break down in tears and refuse to speak to anyone. darry's the only one who can ever calm him down

he stims a lot, usually by playing with the hair on the back of his neck or rubbing whatever shirt he's wearing

Darry

although it may not be as obvious, darry's also on the hyperactive side. he loves football, running, swimming, anything that's high intensity and lets him get his energy out. when he doesn't have a chance to do those things, he'll usually just pace around or do a quick workout

he will drum his fingers every single time he's thinking, he's even worse than pony with it. and if he has a pen in his hand, you better believe he's clicking it nonstop. the amount of dirty looks he got in school for it was crazy

even though he gets on pony for it a lot, darry also zones out a lot. he's usually better at hiding it though, like people will be having full conversations with him and they don't realize that he was zoned out the whole time until they ask him something and he just goes "huh?"

his biggest hyper fixation has always been football. he could talk for hours and hours about any player, team, or game if someone lets him

he did great in school, but he always had to find obscure ways of remembering things for tests and quizzes, he especially did a lot of those acronym things. whenever someone asked him how he did something or remembered something, he would explain his weird system and they would be even more confused

this poor man cannot cope without a schedule. that's a part of the reason why he gets so bothered when pony isn't home at the right time, because it throws off his schedule and then his whole day is ruined

whenever he reads, he can only focus if he sort of murmurs the words the whole time, and he almost always plays with the edges of the paper to keep his focus

when he gets overstimulated, he gets snappy and loud and doesn't want a single person to touch or talk to him

he's big on vocal stims. he hums or mumbles to himself or makes random noises whenever he's trying to focus on something

[xotication]

☆,

how i think tattoo artist ken & slightly generic y/n would cross paths..

alright so, i think y/n would have a somewhat boring job. maybe you work in an office, a coffee shop, yk something of the sort.

you'd follow the same routine everyday; wake up, go to work, come home, eat, rot, sleep, repeat. it was starting to get a little bit sad, sometimes you didn't even know where to begin to make the change.

one day you're sitting at home on your day off, mindlessly scrolling through instagram. one of your good friends juuzou posted a story & it happens to be a new tattoo he just got. he didn't have many but he was starting a tattoo journey for sure. you pondered a bit.

"maybe this is what i need.." you said it to yourself & quickly shot juuzou a text to see where he gets his work done.

he immediately ends up calling you.

"y/n, are you getting a tat??"

"yeah i think i might. i want some change in my life zo, help me out, yeah?"

he wastes no more time & just sends you the address of the shop he normally visits. he refers you to one of his favorite artists too & reassures you that he does really beautiful work.

that's all you needed to hear. with no real plan, you got dressed & set out on your way to the tattoo shop. it was about a 20 minute drive so that gave you time to think up at least a little something.

juuzou texts you, "i'll meet you there, i have GOT to see this.."

you laugh & send him a couple emojis before focusing on your drive once again.

+

you're now in the shop, looking at all the art that littered the walls. now that you're here in the flesh, hearing multiple tattoo guns & seeing others getting pierced.. it was all overwhelming. juuzou notices the look on your face.

"oh come on, you can't back out now. we're already here."

he was right.. you wanted to do this, there's no going back, "you're right, i'm not backing out. i'm gonna do it"

"alright. i'm gonna go grab the artist okay? sit tight."

you did, still thinking of what you were gonna tell said artist when they asked what you wanted. your main thought was, go big or go home.

+

"hi, are you the virgin?"

you practically choked on your own spit. who just asks that..?

"the tattoo virgin.. nothing to do with your sexual relations.."

"oh. yeah."

"nice. i'm kaneki, i'll be the one designing your tattoo, & of course tattooing you. do you have any questions or concerns? do you know what you want done..?"

"well first, how bad is this gonna hurt..?"

kaneki chuckles, "where are you getting it?"

"uhm, my thigh"

"ah.. it'll sting lots but you're a big girl. you can handle it, yeah?"

your cheeks get warm upon hearing his remark, & juuzou looks between the two of you, already not liking the tension between you.

(not in a jealous way, more of a, really.. my best friend? way)

"why don't you tell him what you want, y/n."

...

"& i want there to be fire too, maybe coming out of it's mouth, or somewhere around the body of it. i dunno, but def some fire.. please"

juuzou & kaneki sat there, perplexed.

"what.. what?? don't tell me you can't do it.."

"nono, trust, i can do it. i just wouldn't expect for a girl like you.. to want a tat like that."

"a girl like me?? juuzou what do you think?"

"i mean, i- yeah. it's definitely a tattoo."

"i'll start drawing it up, you can tell me what you think & if you want any changes to be made. this is gonna be on your body forever so don't be afraid to tell me if there's something you don't like, okay?"

+

after a long design process, you guys finally got the perfect drawing.

now it was time for placement, & skin prep.

"can you take your pants off?"

"what????"

"uhm y/n.. how else is he gonna put a tattoo on your thigh?"

"oh..." you clearly didn't think this out very well.

you removed your pants & sat on the cold leather chair.

kaneki grabbed a fresh razor & shaved the area, just in case of any hair. then he places the stencil, & asks you to go look in the mirror to see if you like the placement. you genuinely love it, so you sit back down.

kaneki begins piecing his tattoo gun together & reality is setting in. you're really about to get a tattoo, a HUGE one at that.

you decided on a piece of a dragon with fire coming through the twists & turns of the body. not only that, but it was going to be a color piece, so that means extra time & work- on top of the line work & shading.

you were too caught up in your own thoughts until you heard the tattoo gun start up.

"you ready, y/n?" juuzou asks you & you violently shake your head no.

"you'll be fine, sweetheart. i'm all ready so, let me know when you are." kaneki tells you.

you sat there for a bit & then finally gave him the okay to start tattooing.

"holy fucking shit!" the pain was like nothing you'd ever felt before, & you were not enjoying it in the slightest.

you just started & you already wanted it to be over. to think you had multiple hours of this to endure? you wanted to shrivel up & die in the middle of this tattoo shop. how were you gonna survive? would you?? god, you didn't think you would. you were damn near biting your fist trying to resist screaming out in agony.

"you got this y/n, just remember to breathe, okay?" you felt like slapping kaneki for saying that.

you hadn't even really paid attention to him but now that you’re stuck in this chair with nothing else to distract you. you took notice of all his tattoos. i mean, they go from his neck all the way down his ankles. how he managed to do it? it's beyond your own comprehension.

you thought this was going to be your first & your last.

+

it had been 3 hours. juuzou left & kaneki was just finishing the last couple of touches.. before color that is. but that'd be left for another session, much to your dismay.

"alright, y/n, you're all done for today."

"for today..? what. why can't you just finish it now..?"

"that'd be a lot for you. it's your first tattoo & you're already overwhelmed with pain. plus, your skin is puffing up. i think this is a really good place to stop, hun."

"ugh just give me a 30 minute break. i wanna finish it today."

"no. it's done for today & that's that.

"oh fuck you."

"excuse me?"

"sorry."

"mhm. i'm gonna clean it & wrap it. then i'll go over the treatment & aftercare process & you'll be good to go.. after you pay me of course"

"mkay."

...

"you should take down my number so we can discuss when would be a good time for you to come in."

"uhm, can't i just call the shop?"

"well yeah, but why do that if you could just text me directly."

"mmm.. okay"

the two of you exchange numbers, you pay him, & he sends you on your way home.

the whole way there, you couldn't stop thinking about how you really just did that. it still hurt like fuck, but you'd live.. hopefully.

+

it was around 9pm, you were showered, & cozy in bed. damn near ready to just knock the fuck out after the day you've had..

ping!

"you still hanging in there, pretty?"

it was kaneki.

here you are tat artist! ken obsessed anon ^.^

[sprinklenoodles]

So I MAAAY have gotten absorbed in the siblings instead of reading (at least in the moment of typing this). Tried drawing them all to some extent. Also, one of my pencil's got lost so some of their penciling is a bit mixed. Here are my thoughts on them all in varying levels of detail! Page 1:

Byakuya: He was the first one I drew before I planned out drawing the siblings. If I were to draw him again, I'd probably try and call back to suits in the early 2000s. I say this mostly because I like channeling the idea that THH came out in the 2010s era and how it affects how the characters look. This applies to the rest of them too since I wanna ensure that they have a slight older look in their clothes to show "Yeah! this is in the past" minus Byakuya being a tot. Which gosh. Does this mean Byakuya's a Millennial with this logic/hj Ichiro: really wanted to give him that prick look. He's got a sleazy smile and sharp angles! Really happy how he turned out. Eyumi: Made her very straight laced, giving her some rectangles in her design but with a tad of edge. Also, it's not very apparent but her dress shirt is a gradient... for reasons I guess. Also, I looked a bit at Mai from Avatar the Last Airbender cus she gave me that energy and it definitely helped with getting her all finished! Wasuke: Wanted to give him rounder shapes to give off his lack of edge in the competition. Also, since I accidently made him look too young, I slapped on a sad little mustache for good measure. Shinobu: Made her a bit timid since she has that Toko inspo in her. Also some moles cus I felt it fit. Struggled a bit on her hair but I think I did okay? Was initially going to put it in a low ponytail but I changed it. Also, her poor face got reconstructed a bit cus I accidently made her look older. Takaya: He's kinda boring but I made his hair curly-ish I guess. Asa: Was kinda unsure with her, I'll be honest. Like, she looks cool but nothing else I can really say. She's got a cute bow and freckles I guess!

Page 2:

Jiro: I like his energy. His suspenders really make him look sick. However, he's not really mentioned much at all so... whoops! Saburo: I made him look way too young and I am not proud. Shiro: He's the real mess up out of all the designs. I redid his hair and face so many times and I'm still not happy with him. They can't all be winners in the design department though! Mitsuzo: Really happy with him. Wanted to ensure his glasses were different from Byakuya's so I reversed the darker area and made them more square as opposed to the rounder edges I went with Byakuya. Asagao: She's cute. I like her energy. If I ever colored her in, she'd pop the most with her yellow clothes. Also, I'm guessing she has a skirt but she also looks like a bell-bottom queen Hiru: Probably one of the top designs of the half-siblings here. Feel she has that "determined sisterly" energy going on. Feel I failed with injecting some Celeste energy in her though like... big time. The most I did was give her vague playing card symbol earrings and that's it. Yoro: She's also pretty cool. She's like Asa though in which I have no clue if I did good. Also, think the descriptions were like, messed up at some point (not in the story itself) cus they were almost the same which I was unsure of what to do with. I think I made them fairly distinct though So I MAAAY have gotten absorbed in the siblings. Tried drawing them all to some extent. Also, one of my pencil's got lost so some of their penciling is a bit mixed.

Also, if you have any tips on how to improve these designs, which ones are the favorites of the bunch, ect, am happy to here!!! Wanted to make them distinct in their own ways but not like, award winning at the same time. We ALL know who the star of the show is >:] Ichiro probably thinks it's him though! Also if I missed anyone, I am so sorry ;-;

These are all SO awesome! I ADORE all of them, but would have to say my fav here is Jiro. Dunno why but he just looks AWESOME!

I also love Ichiro- you captured his stinky personality perfectly in that drawing.

And as for Asa and Yoru (Hiru too but realized her clothing bit got cut off) that was intentional. I don't think it was mentioned a lot in the fic, but they're triplets. They're the only full siblings and in true triplet fashion decided to wear the same outfit. With their almost identical looks it makes them almost impossible differenciate for most people.

It's also why Hiru gives off that big sister energy- she does love her full siblings and is not happy when they get eliminated. Unfortunately for her though, Kijo isn't a fan of that...

But all of these are really awesome! The siblings aren't mentioned a lot, especially not the ones outside of Byakuya's Group.

From the start, I knew that this was gonna be a smaller fic, so I also wanted a small main cast. And even though the siblings wouldn't get mentioned much, it would still feel crowded if all of them were together at all times...

So, I just chose a few to stick with Byakuya and that was that. But now that the whole island is open, the siblings that haven't gotten eliminated might be seen...

In the end though, the fic is about Byakuya. Ichiro just happened to fit in nicely with the story. I really haven't given his siblings a lot of thought, mostly cuz it wasn't needed. But who knows, there's always a possibility of me making a one-shot collection about them...

[the-ventriloquizt]

[ Image: A drawing of Rhino and Scarface from Batman comics. Rhino is holding Scarface in his arms, one hand in his back and one holding up his legs. Both Rhino and Scarface are glaring directly at the viewer, with Scarface shouting, "Whaddya lookin' at, ya gastards?". Rhino's mouth is obviously moving with the words, and he looks unsure about what he's doing. Rhino and Scarface are colored in a dull blue with a slightly darker blue gradient, the speech bubble is light yellow, and the background is purple with a lighter purple comic print texture in diagonal triangle shapes at the upper right and lower left corners. ]

I recently had the realization that Rhino (seemingly) isn't a character in current interpretations of the Ventriloquist gang. It makes me sad, I really enjoy Rhino and his weird dynamic with Scarface and Arnold. Having a true believer who wants nothing more than to be Scarface's right hand man is really fun, and adds to the question of what Scarface even is. With just Arnold, it's easier to say Scarface is just a thing Arnold came up with. With Rhino involved, there's more of a question as to why this big guy bothers to listen to this puppet. Why does he believe in him more than even Arnold does? Why can he 'hear' Scarface at all?

I dunno, I like him is all. I think they should've given him more time to be the 'dummy' in the relationship.

[bosskie]

Electrical Colours

Man, I was just looking at that Abe's Oddysee's good ending and those cool colours the lightning strike made Molluck have, so I kinda wanted to draw him like this again... This ain't a redraw though even it looks like one of my older pieces.

There's also a sketch I made for this to my sketchbook. I don't have a light pad but it helped me to do a cleaner sketch to the actual paper. But frankly, that older piece has bothered me because of the flaws I see... So, I kinda have still wanted to redraw it but more because I really enjoyed playing around the colours there! I just rarely use vivid/strong colours...

I haven't touched my watercolour palettes for 5 years... I just got plenty of watercolour paper, mostly unused pads, so I felt like I gotta do something about it. I'm not sure if I'm pleased with the colours or not. I would have liked to mess more with the colours but well... The tape I used wasn't good enough to stay in place, so this got 'wonky' but not too much. It's just whenever I use watercolours, the paper gets wavy... The tape does help but eh, it's quite usual that I damage the paper anyway... Welp, need to practice my watercolour skills.

I wasn't sure about the background but just painted the environment from the cutscene. But yeah, I must say that I'm not sure if I enjoyed painting this or not... That tape just pissed me off and my usual self-hatred hit me while working on this... But I still decided to finish this, even it required many hours to make but also patience since yeah, you gotta layer stuff and be careful with watercolours. I still see some flaws here and there but just got tired of painting the whole thing...

I just started to feel so awful about myself, yet again... Felt like I'm just some odd freak, should just end what I'm doing but well, also myself... Currently, I basically have no other life than Molluck since I'm free and alone... I also just keep feeling like a failure, keep telling myself how I wasted one year of my life when I was too depressed to do anything, I didn't even really draw during that year... I just felt so hard that I'll be nothing, I have no future, I won't ever get to the university... Everything was so black... I didn't believe in myself, at all... I still feel like I got no future, barely have any hope on myself... There somewhere I kinda wish to tear that painting I did but also like all the other drawings too... I'm still having hard time with tolerating my own creations, even I do love to create stuff... I more like just wish to create stuff and then just send them into the void and never see them again... This is basically the main reason why I tend to disable reblogs... I just cannot really stand seeing my own stuff...

I have just felt like that I should just end my whole Molluck thing... But there somewhere I see Molluck looking at me with sad eyes and telling me how he knows that I don't really wish to do it since I love him so much... It also feels insulting to him that I'm calling myself a freak because of the way I love him... I don't wish to hurt my dear Gluk, even I do have drawn him getting hurt but it's just what actually happened to him and I cannot deny that him getting the hit looks 'cool'... My life would be so empty without Molluck... Welp, he at least keeps me creating stuff since I just moment ago got yet another drawing idea that I feel like starting later today. Not sure if I make a proper drawing about it and what media I should even use but just something to my sketchbook at least. I just feel like I barely drew a thing if I didn't have Molluck... Dunno if my stuff is even worth making but well, I'm glad to waste my time on some fictional creature I keep dreaming of every single day...

I'm still trying to see my stuff in a better light but it's difficult... I didn't have much will to post this one but still did it. I just tend to feel like my stuff looks soulless, uninspiring, crappy, just not worth seeing... I'm still trying to keep posting my crap stuff, even it's difficult for me to believe in that anyone really enjoys seeing my stuff... It's just that my mind just keeps telling me that everyone just secretly hates me and just pretends to like me for whatever reason... I don't even know why I feel like this but it's just making my self-hatred worse, keeping me feeling like I'm just ruining everything, that everything would be better if I was gone or better, never even existed... I'm still trying to keep living, even if my only reason to live was to keep filling the world with Molluck crap love... I'm planning to try out sculpting a Molluck bust next week; gotta buy some art supplies first though, like a banding wheel. Been just joking about filling my home with Molluck sculptures... But yeah, a huge Molluck bust would be just nice, though it would be like 'real-life-sized' at that point! Yeah, I can say that I do have had ideas for big Molluck crafts... I could be able to do a big plush too but I got no resources for such...

Yeah, let's say that this stuff is basically for what I live... I don't really care if some people think that I'm a freak/weirdo/whatever, this is just who I am, and I can be no one else but me; it's just that me calling myself a freak is my problem... I also got some 'digital craft' ideas too, meaning programming and 3D stuff. Yeah, so many medias to work with... It would be just cool to do a VR/AR Molluck thing too! Yes, I am crazy about Molluck but it's not really harming anyone and it keeps me alive and creating stuff, so it's fine. I actually started to feel better after writing this stuff since well, there is so much cool Molluck stuff to do, even if I have difficulties with tolerating my stuff... I just love to create Molluck stuff, okay.

I don't wanna sound like I hated people liking my stuff, no. It's only a big surprise to me if someone really likes my stuff and I do appreciate all the positive things my stuff gets! I just wish that I could also see what you see when looking at my stuff... My problem is just that I tend to see only my flaws and therefore find my stuff as crappy... But I'm trying my best to learn to love myself and stop feeling like I'm just a failure that shouldn't exist... It's only me who has said those brutal things to myself...

I feel sorry for all this vent... It's just that I'm really fighting for my own life with my mind. So many times, I have just felt like ending this all... But here I am, even if my whole existence was a total waste after all... Yes, this is how I talk to myself during my worst moments... I hope that your self-talk ain't so awful!

[bleedingcoffee42]

Some secrets will stay secrets. SIGH.

Especially, if you dig a little harder and read stuff from other Screaming Eagles like memories of Donald R. Burgett from A Company (I think) and George Koskimaki's antology of memories of people from whole division, Speirs shooting POWs seems to be nothing unusual and a lot of worse things has happened (as sad at it is). Bill was not a saint and did similar stuff and absolutely no one is bitching about him. What I want to say is, Winters saying he would have put Speirs on court martial - when I read it I was like, Dick? Seriously?. No one would have shot prisoners if there was no order and Speirs, imo, acted rather according to the rules not against them.

It just shows how communicating orders SUCKED in American army that time.

You know... looking at Sparky's popularity and the amount of time he was on screen and comparing it to Winters.... it shows that people prefer ambiguous characters? As much as I love Winters he is not my top five, because he is simply too GOOD. I think I like his fandom version a lot more than his show/book version, because people dig out his flaws and made him more human. That's why I immediately liked Nix more, then Harry and Sparky. Dick just suffers from, dunno, being the perfect main, I guess.

And well, Sparky in the show is a perfect example of an amazing character's journey, it's something people LOVE. We agreed already that you can love him or hate him, but you can't have no feelings and opinions about him. While Dick is, I think?, generally loved and you hardly can find anything negative or even neutral about him.

...Speirs could steal even spotlight, huh?

I think I had a point when I started writing but have no freaking idea what was it, lol. SORRY

MORE GRANT, BLESS.

Well, the power of Nix :D

I absolutely understand you and all I have is undying admiration and gratitude for the whole research work you SHARE with us. Some of the stuff is fucking amazing and I have no idea how you find it but that's some university level research. But I enjoy every little piece. Thank you so so sooooo much for it.

(Fingers crossed for watching GK in some future.)

Even the first layer of stories, there are a lot of admissions later on of things that were seen and done. War is hell, it happens. I agree it's interesting that Speirs becomes THE poster boy for it though. It's interesting when we have someone like Lieb who Dick was like 'He was rough with prisoners' but then he still sends him with the prisoners! Ambrose makes a point of saying "Winters and Lipton both said Speirs was the cruelest man they ever met" but nobody expands on that. Idk if its because admitting they saw and didn't stop implicates them or what.

I think what gets overlooked is it's little over 20 years from the last world war and a lot of these guys had relatives lost to that. A lot of these guys were kids of immigrants and were Leary of letting people know they spoke German more or less were German. (Muck spoke it but never told anyone and let people believe he was another nationality.) Malarkey repeatedly mentions Uncles who were still dealing with being gassed in WW1 and suffering because of it. It breeds a 'We wouldn't be here if we got rid of you last time' mentality. But I think that's just me applying some ghetto logic, someone comes at you who you know is going to make you keep watching your back for retaliation...you make sure they don't get back up.

Speirs has the draw of being the enigma and backs it up with bonafide bad-assery and hero of Foy. I don't think Lip's POV was overplayed, I think that Breaking Point ep was spot on with how they all felt they were going to get slaughtered following Dike's orders and out comes Speirs and just bing-bang-boom Let's go.

Dick is very squeaky clean in the show and I think that's great for the show.....but it really does crack you in the face when you get into his letters and stuff and you're confronted with him being more human than the show allowed. I love the show, I really do. I love that we have a book, a series, more books and letters and more letters and interviews and we're still finding stuff. It does kinda make him too much of a Boy Scout for personal tastes though, I get you.

I'm enjoying the search, a lot. It's adding a bunch of dimension to already intriguing people. I'd like to get my hands on the Craver appeal that probably explains WHY he was let out of prison 20 years after the war.

[dkniade]

Regarding those Edwin doodles, why was he beaten up? Who was talking to him? 👀 Also, moomoo Edwin is so cute >:3c 💕💕💕

context

Oh, it was no one in particular (Maybe a rival gang member if I were to specify…? Probably not his former creative partner Thea though. She’s not that violent haha..) (I haven’t thought of details of Thea and Edwin’s backstory in a long time now, and surface personality traits are hard to pin down without a backstory.)

The joke was that in the first scenario he was painting and in the second he was in pain because of the meme (?) that there’s “pain” in “painting” haha (I don’t believe painting/drawing has to inherently be a painful process though, or that only painful emotions make good art)

Also I wanted to draw him beaten up (either it was just for fun or I was maybe frustrated? Probably just for fun though.) I like drawing characters looking up defiantly even as they’re beaten up✨

moo moo Edwin hahaha— Thank you! I’ve heard that cows can be fluffy…

Come to think of it, I dunno what animal motif he’d have if he were to have one.

A cheerful artist… with some sort of identity confusion due to winter depression (old 2019 concept. Looking back, the severity doesn’t seem to match my knowledge of winter depression)(if he’s ashamed, does he feel it so deeply that he voluntarily uses a slightly different name, uses a mask to cover his face, AND grows out his hair & dyes it, all for the sake of… having his orange look be the happy/cheerful/friendly one?) (If he hides himself in plain sight, if he can’t accept this as part of himself, this can lead to some troublesome identity issues…)(unrelated to gender)

-

“I’m Edwin! Nice to meet you too!” —Edwin, usually in spring/summer

“Hey, just call me Devin for now. No, it’s not because I want to change my name or anything. It’s, uhh… an… alias…? Haha…” — Devin, on the outside probably, in winter

“What is this ‘Devin’ name to me? Am I even allowed to feel this way as myself? God, but what am I supposed to do? I can’t just tell people that it comes every winter and gets better in spring.” —Edwin, on the inside probably

-

(…I almost want to compare him to “Childe” Tartaglia Ajax simply for his multiple names/identity thing but uhh, that guy’s on a whole different level. Venti/Barbatos? Hmm but to my knowledge nothing particularly bad happened to Edwin.)

What would be an animal that emphases this duality I wonder… An animal that looks friendly and colourful but isn’t what it seems…

…poison dart frog???

(SAD = Seasonal Affective Disorder)

[Start transcript

first image: the concept sheet

a flat colour sketch in upper corner is labelled True Palette. A cartoony waist-up version with bright warm colours is labeled Edwin and an anime headshot version with desaturated colours is labeled Devin. Another flat-colour shot of Edwin/Devin is labeled flat sample. A full body reference of both is labeled Project SAD Palette. Edwin is labeled spring/summer (“usually”) and Devin is labeled under effects of SAD

second image: the mock magazine cover

knees-up greyscale illustration of Devin sitting with his winter coat and mask, looking at the viewer, his hands in fists. His eyes and hair clip are light green. Behind him is a black circle outline with two sharp black triangles pointing at him. White magazine header: SYMPTOM. separate subheadings in green: questions, sunshine. separate text in white: What does SAD stand for? What are some symptoms of winter depression? What are some symptoms of summer depression? What hormone does sunshine trigger the brain to release? What is an alternative to sunshine? In the right corner, in green: A solution to your problems!?

third and fourth images: sketch of Edwin/Devin with some information

Edwin. he/him, 20. yellow barcode piercing (right ear). left-handed. neutral expression looks surprised/confused. hard to read based on expression & body language. has a secret he’s ashamed of. (he doesn’t have to be though.) arrow points to him, saying spring/summer.

Devin. he/him, 20. black triangle frame piercing (left ear). left-handed (still). Edwin winter an Alia’s & disguise. wears mask not for physical health (in his opinion). seasonal affective disorder: winter depression. tried to hide his symptoms but isn’t good at it. ashamed of his winter depression. wants to separate his depressed self from his usual self. arrow points to him, saying autumn/winter.

end transcript.]

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 153

Chapter 153: "Coward"

I dunno why but I'm kinda bummed Norman's kill happened off-panel. Yeah it wouldn't feel right to see one one of the sweetest boys to take a life but that's exactly why it would work so well under his WM persona. And I just wanted to see Yverk perish, honestly. I don't like him. At least we got to see Norman attack Vylk in the second season, which is better than nothing, I suppose.

Norman would know that eradication is certainly not the only way to achieve peace if he would stop sounding like a broken record and listen to Emma's idea about the new promise and using the evil blood to save the demons. Also, I love how surprised the Lambda boys are upon hearing Emma rejecting Norman's orders/suggestion so easily. Her short & quick response is a nice callback to when she refused Ray's idea to leave all the GF kids behind back during ch4.

The WM facade that Norman is so confident with means nothing when our girl knows him so darn well, even to the point where he's lying to himself about his true feelings.

Gotta say that I prefer the anime's take on this panel much better as well. Definitely makes me feel sorry for this sad, terrified child more than a chessmaster with a god complex.

The manga does toss a whole bunch of flashbacks our way though so that does help pull some heartstrings here. I can also never remember that Norman & Vincent had the chance to meet casually while at Lambda. For a while I thought they only communicated via the rubix cube their entire time there. The Lambda staff should've never let these boys socialize.

They're both pretty stubborn when it comes to their own ideas but Norman has gotta know to yield once Emma has her heart set on something. You can't go against our leading lady. And how convenient that there's now a clear path between all the dead demons so she can march her way right up to him.

I love her so much for calling him out like this.

This trio is so darn precious with how much they care for each other and see each other as equals aaahh! Ray's words kinda remind me of ch178 when Norman said they would refuse to cross over to the human world if it means that Emma would have to sacrifice herself. And ch27 with Emma's famous speech about how they'll all live together and won't accept a future unless everyone is part of it. Look at that, all three of 'em having their own moments.

I don't even care if the anime switched up Ray's lines, it feels more personal to him when he draws on his own experiences and their relationship to remind Norman who he really is. I also love that someone is shown to be frustrated with Norman's actions. Emma is too, deep down somewhere I'm sure, but her voice is a lot more calming and hopeful during this scene, as usual.

Can't praise the anime for too long though since it doesn't include Ray offering his hand out to Norman like the manga does. (though perhaps it took inspiration from the following chapter since we don't see his hand there either when this moment is shown again.)

Anime also leaves Ray out of the hug for whatever reason. Maybe to match this chapter's extra page of Emma comforting a small, crying Norman, but c'mon, trio hugs are the best kind of hugs! (even though I personally prefer the hug shown next chapter a little bit more.) I can appreciate how the anime had Norman's hood fall down once Emma caught him as he fell to his knees, kinda like how his entire cape flew off here.

Favorite panel/moment:

Yeesss sweetie! Put that boy in his place!! I imagine she would've been just as angry if she had learned any sooner that Ray was sacrificing their siblings back at GF, so he's lucky all he got was a death glare in ch15.

Their faces are SO ADORABLE HERE!! HELP! I LOVE THEM!

[purpleturtle9000]

@dropkicks-self-off-cliff you mentioned Alpha and Cobalt having a cat that purred and this was beamed Directly into my mind

"Pst!"

By now, he's very familiar with the variety of noises that can mean uh-oh, I didn't mean to break that. This is not one of them, but it is close, which makes him wonder just what Cobalt was doing in the two minutes he was out of view.

He glances over, and does a double-take, because Cobalt is half hidden behind a mass of fluffy fur. Ah, right. The Damn Cat.

From the moment they saw each other, they'd been inseparable. Why, Alpha still has no idea. The thing's missing an eye, and chunks from both ears, and he thinks may also be missing a couple toes.

It looks like the kind of thing that gets thrown away, but he can't say that more than once, because last time, Cobalt looked like he was going to cry, and Alpha always panics when he cries.

It's not that he's bonded, like a certain old blue turtle likes to say. He just... doesn't like it when Cobalt's sad.

So when Leonardo tried to say that Cobalt couldn't keep the cat, Alpha had hissed at him, low and warning, until he relented. Tello bonked him over the head for threatening their twin, and he'd promptly turned on them, drawing blood twice before they shoved him off and he gave up on the idea of biting them a third time.

While all that was going on, Cobalt had decided to name The Damn Cat, except he decided to name it Blue, and Leonardo pointed out that they already had a brother with that name.

It ended up getting named Stitch, after some movie character. Alpha doesn't want to know any more than that, because if he shows any interest, he'll get dragged into another movie night, and Cobalt keeps wanting to watch horror movies. And then he gets scared, and stays up all night, and Alpha doesn't mind the sleep deprivation because he's used to it, but he also doesn't like being angry that Cobalt's not okay.

Having siblings is complicated. Having one that likes him is even more complicated.

"What did you do?" he asks.

"I dunno! But I think I broke her."

Alpha's not sure he wants to know how to break a cat. He really hopes that Cobalt didn't drop the thing.

"Listen," Cobalt says, and Alpha always does.

Weird. No, wait, Tello told him about this - it's got a name. A meaning.

"She's purring," he says after a moment. "It means she's happy. That she likes you."

She should. Cobalt's very likeable.

"Cool." Cobalt grins at him, and then manages to carry the cat over. Alpha has no intention of picking her up, but then Cobalt does almost drop her, and Alpha steps in before a crisis can be caused.

The Damn Cat keeps purring when he holds her against his plastron so she won't fall. It sounds almost... familiar. Not that he's heard cats purr before, exactly, but something almost the same. But not a cat sound.

He's still puzzling about it as Cobalt makes himself comfortable. The beanbag is a massive thing, capable of fitting three turtles, or two turtles and a cat.

He lifts his arm so Cobalt can fit under it, close to his side. He's wrapped in Alpha's favourite blanket, but it doesn't occur to him to be bothered by the theft. Not like Sunflower and Echo - they seem to like bothering each other more than anything else.

If he's being honest, Alpha doesn't understand it at all. Most of the others don't seem to care when arguing or even shoving happens, and he's seen Leonardo and Tello snarl at each other like a pair of dogs, but his skin crawls when any of them act like that toward him. He's always afraid of snapping and hurting them.

Used to be scared of Cobalt, too, just like all the others, but somehow it became harder and harder to remember what a danger he was, when Cobalt saw him as safety.

He closes his eyes. Leonardo taught him to calm down by seeking his senses. A touch, or taste, or sound that he could use to anchor himself in the present and not the darkness. Even when he's all right, he likes to do the same thing. Bask in what it feels like, to be safe and surrounded by love.

Stitch purring, regular but with dips and peaks to the sound. Cobalt's yawn, then a slight pressure as he leans closer to pet her. The almost-too-soft blanket that Cobalt will end up kicking off because it gets too warm. A prickle of whiskers against a chip in his plastron and the base of his throat.

Oh.

That's what it is.

He's not sure how he remembers it, some genetic memory, maybe, but it's there all the same. He's just never... tried. He was always scared, before Leonardo found him, before Cobalt trusted him.

What's one more change for the people he loves?

It takes some trial and error, but eventually he gets it right, he thinks. The low, rock-rough almost-growl, starting deep in his throat. Not exactly a cat's purr, but nearly the same.

"Whoa," Cobalt breathes out. "You can do that too?"

Alpha nods.

"How come you never did it before?"

The rock-growl stops, and he blinks, looking away and then down at Stitch. Her front legs stretch out, one foot pawing gently at the bottom of his chin.

"Never felt safe enough," he whispers.

"Oh."

For a minute, he thinks that's all Cobalt has to say, but then-

"I feel safe with you too. I just don't know how to purr yet. Maybe I can't."

"I'll teach you tomorrow, if you want."

"'Course I wanna."

He says it so naturally, like he thinks they meet in every universe, like Alpha's always going to be there to look after him. Even now, Alpha's not used to it.

Someday he will be, though. He starts purring again, until Cobalt dozes off with The Damn Cat sprawled across his shell, and doesn't mind staying awake to watch over both of them.

[dragonmuse]

Oh god, Pete from Mainverse, She Said Love, or “feels like falling” meeting Izzy from the May Be Bad Timeline sounds like an absolute tragedy and I yearn, I tell you! Yearn!

(well if you yearn, who am I to deny! I have one more Alma request after this and then I think I've cleared the ask box, but if I missed yours in a reply etc or you came in late and still have desires let me know! These are quick-ish and such a fun writing exercise!

you know it's feels like falling for maximum sads, c'mon)

They meet on the balcony. Feels Like Pete has a whiskey, he pours one for May Be Bad Izzy.

Pete: You look good.

Izzy: Thanks. I don't know you.

Pete: No? that's a damn shame.

Izzy: Why?

Pete: Because I love you kind of a lot. Or my you anyway.

Izzy: What's he do here? Run a bakery or something?

Pete: He's a detective. But he used to do the job. Good at it too. That's how we met.

Izzy: No fucking way.

Pete: Ouch, but yeah way. I wasn't very good at it. Turns out I'm pretty good at being a husband though and I like that job better. I mean I also work. I'm not a sugar baby or something.

Izzy: *looks away, takes a sip of his drink*

Pete: Uh, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Izzy: I'm not a fucking sugar baby. I set him up in the life, for fuck's sake.

Pete: Set up..Luc? He's doing security?

Izzy: Something like that.

Pete: Lucius. Our Lucius who once gave up red meat for a month before the juice from a raw steak made him queasy?

Izzy: My Lucius hasn't been 'queasy' in a long time. He's good at the work. *sips the whiskey*

Pete: I mean he's good at most things if he really wants to do them. He just usually...doesn't. He's pretty happy drawing, mixing drinks and trying to invent new ways for us all to have sex.

Izzy: He's happy? *quietly devastated*

Pete: Yeah? I mean, I like to think so.

Izzy: How do you KNOW?

Pete: Uh, dunno. He smiles a lot. Got a bit of a skip in his walk. He draws more when he's happy too.

Izzy: *downs the rest of the whiskey*

Pete: Woah woah that doesn't mean it's the same for yours. I mean he sounds pretty different.

Izzy: Am I happy here?

Pete: Um, yeah. I don't think I could make you stay somewhere where you weren't.

Izzy: That's how you know? That he doesn't just leave?

Pete: No. He says it, in his way. The way he holds my hand when he used to never do things like that. The way he smiles when Lucius is home when we get home. The way he tells me things without being asked all the time now and listens when I talk to him. I dunno. It's a lot of things.

Izzy: *nods mutely*

Pete: You could...talk to me? About it? Whatever it is. It's kind of a confessional space.

Izzy: I don't confess for anyone.

Pete: Bet that's not true.

Izzy: I don't...I did. I told him everything.

Pete: Luc?

Izzy: Yeah. I did. I let him have it all. I think sometimes, maybe I didn't get it all back.

Pete: What's that mean?

Izzy: Dunno. but I wonder sometimes. I feel okay most days. I've got things to do, keep me busy. I like our life. Love it sometimes. But others...you ever wake up tired even though you've slept?

Pete: Sure, I know the feeling.

Izzy: Just happens sometimes. Just seems to happen more when he's away. When there's empty space. Time to think.

Pete: I don't...babe, I don't think you're okay.

Izzy: Don't call me that.

Pete: Yeah, my you hates it too. Sorry. But you don't have to walk around feeling like that. I mean, maybe talk to him about?

Izzy: *laughs low* but then he'd try to fix it.

Pete: Yes?

Izzy: I don't want it fixed.

Pete: ...you don't?

Izzy: *looks up* Sometimes it's the only time I think about how it used to be. I have to remember. Keep that. I love him, but I have to be careful.

Pete: I really don't understand.

Izzy: Good.

Pete: Do you maybe want a hug?

Izzy: No.

Pete: Yeah, okay just thought I'd-

Izzy: Fuck. Yes fine.

They hug. Izzy wakes up a little confused, but warm even though the bed is empty. Pete follows his Izzy around a lot the next day, but he does that a lot anyway and Izzy just hands him things and finds him things to do if he's going to be hovering.

[rosetheex-editor]

[Audio transcript start.]

[The transcript begins with the sound of crickets, someone can be heard walking back and forth as a phone starts ringing. The ringtone is identified as the song "Killer queen." the phone keeps ringing until there is a beep.]

?: Hello, hello hello?

[Voice identified: Ness.]

?: HEYYYY!!!

[Voice identified: Ophelia.]

[In the background of the other end, there seems to be slightly muffled club music, and someone crying. The crying person does not seem to be Ophelia.]

O: Ness! It’s been so long!

Ne: It's been like… A week and a half, plus I still contact you when I can… Just been busy with uh, a fucked up forearm.

O: Aw, yeah. Ignore the music, I’m out right now. I’m in the women's bathroom at a club! Where are you?

Ne: Apartment parking lot… Ok that's a lie. Cemetery… Definitely not the one in Philly.

O: Okay! I dunno what significance any of that has to you, but I remember killing a few people there once. Speaking of! Well, kinda, uh. Hm.

Ne: First. I come to the cemetery to clear my head sometimes… Talk to the graves, it's calming. And what's up?

[Ness takes a deep breath, preparing for the response.]

O: So! We got this call for a job… it’s a little ways out of Lostfield, and I need a bit of help, so…

Ne: You want me to help?

O: Exactly! You’re so smart girlie, that's why I called you! I have some details ready if you want ‘em!

Ne: Sure but first, do I still get one free murder job?

[Ness laughs, clearly joking.]

O: I’ll see what I can do! But anyway, the reason I need help with this one is because this jackass hired bodyguards. Fucking bodyguards! Talk about paranoid, amiright?

Ne: So what do you need me to do? Kill em? Suck the-

[Ness is cut off by the wind.]

O: That’s Cass’ thing, man.

Ne: I was… Joking. But ok.

O: Oh, well. Either way. You up for the task? Wait, I forgot to tell you what we were even doing! Sorry! I’ve had many drinks. This isn’t a hit! We’re grabbing the bitch and masking him.

Ne: C- christ… Can I get blackout drunk? I'll pay for my drinks just like… Being sad and in pain is a bitch so.

O: Mmm… sorry girl, but I can’t let ya do that. You’re underaged.

Ne: So killing and kidnapping is fine but you draw the line at underaged drinking?

O: Exactly! You catch on really fast! You can have… mayyyybe one drink. But that’s a big maybe. Got it?

Ne: Fine.

O: Another thing, uh. I think you’ll want to know who else is going.

Ne: If I'm helping… [Aside.] Hell this could be my first of many PR jobs. [Front.] Yeah I'd like to know.

O: Okay! [Clears throat.] So… Adelia, Becky, Naomi, Irene, Bianca… Um. Eden. And…

Ne: I thought that was all the girls? Cuz like… I'm assuming you also called me for girls night?

O: Haha… about that. Um. So we… uh.

[Ness sighs.]

Ne: Did Cassius get pissy because we ended up in the bahamas?

O: No, he thought that was funny as shit, uh. We don’t do jobs like these without him, I think you’ll find out why when we get there.

Ne: As long as he keeps Rose and Edgar's names out of his fucking mouth we'll be fine.

O: I can’t promise that. He enjoys riling you up.

Ne: Ophelia. I will bring my dads sawed off shotgun and shoot him in the fucking head. Or get blackout drunk to put up with him.

O: Girl, please don’t do either of those. I’ll… tell him that he needs to tone it down for friday.

Ne: Thank you… Genuinely thank you.

O: Bring a nice outfit, by the way! We can’t have you looking like a mess while the rest of us are dressed up!

Ne: I'll uh… Put on one of the dresses we bought. And uh… I'll buy makeup I guess.

O: OMG! Wait do you want one of us to help you with it?

Ne: Sure? I uh… Seeing as I've only ever worked at an auto mechanics and the pizzeria, not like I've ever had a chance to wear makeup.

O: EEEEEE! OMG I can’t wait! You’ll look amazing, Ness.

Ne: Thanks, I uh… Still don't fully trust you guys, but it's uh… Yeah, nice to have at least one other person to talk to that doesn't make fun of me.

O: Aw, they make fun of you? That’s so mean. You’re safe with us, girl. Maybe not Eden, but the rest of us.

Ne: No no… Just… Well… People I can talk to that kinda get me… After sarah and mari went missing, I've really only talked to. Henry, edgar, rose, Katherine. Yeah those are like… The only people I've talked to well enough. You seem to get me and not make fun of me for being… Weird, I've only had like… 3 female, technically 2 but I'm counting mari. Friends that match that.

O: Oh, well. Hm. That’s kinda new for me TBH. I haven’t seen Sarah or Mari at all, but I’ll let them both know that you miss them! And uh… on the topic of the m– Um. Edgar. I’m really sorry that happened, girl. I know what it’s like to lose a friend, that’s gotta be rough.

Ne: Oh trust me it is, waking up every morning lying to everyone that you're ok and that nothing is wrong hurts even more. Some nights I really just don't want to wake up!

O: Damn. I’ve felt like that once. Before PR. Uh. Maybe this’ll help you take your mind off of things?

Ne: Yeah… I should probably go.

O: So should I, I think I’m about to hashtag throw up right now!

Ne: Oh um… In that case see you friday, bye.

O: Bye, Ness!

[Ophelia hangs up.]

Ne: Fuckin' hell…

[Ness can be heard walking again, now with the sound of crying. This lasts for 15 minutes until the transcript ends.]

[End transcript.]

[ulircursed]

(Late Bday ask!)

She only learns his birthday through the whispers of others. Never once had he told his niece his birthday (or if he had she simply hadn’t been listening). Normally something like this could cause her to puff out her cheeks and let out a huff, harassing the older Yngvi for not telling her something so important— because they were family, and there was no reason to keep anything from family.

But with everything that had gone on following her own birthday, the thief had no way of contacting him even if she wanted to.. And as sad as it was to admit, she didn’t really want to. Not yet, anyway.

— — —

He finds out about his gift the same way Patty finds out his birthday— through the whispers of others. There’s chatter in the halls about a delicious smell coming from a corner in the library and that a young girl had set it up, tussling with anyone who even thought about sneaking in for a bite. She’s going off about how it’s for someone in particular— for this certain someone’s birthday.

She isn’t there by the time he arrives. If he ever does. All that’s left in the corner where they once partook in Patty’s ‘Princess Lessons’ is a table filled with tooth rotting sweets, clearly unsure of what his favourite was or would be, and a letter.

It’s written in scribbles that could be mistaken for cursive..by the blind— and a drawing of their house signet rather than a stamp. It was a symbol of their shared name, one which she saw only as an accessory until fairly recent.

Uncle Andrei,

I’ve never been good with words, something I’m sure you learned real fast, but I still wanted to write you something small. I know you don’t want us talking anymore— and I still dunno why..but I won’t push it for now. One day I’ll get you to crack and tell me everything, but for now I’ll wait! A thief always strikes at the most opportune moments after all!

Back in Judgral I always heard these awful stories about you— betrayal and killing and all that— but after meeting you here..I got a hard time really believing they’re about the same man. Sure you were a lil stuck up, but I was never scared of you for one second! And even if I thought you were just trying to make me all proper for appearance and pride, I really did feel like you cared enough to help. I still do. I always looked forward to going to them, not just to become a proper Princess or anything..but I just liked getting to see you. I wanted to make you proud just as much as I want anyone else in our family to be proud of me.

To be honest I have no idea what the point of this letter even is. You might never even get to see it! But it makes me feel a lil better getting it off of my chest. I just..hope one day you’ll change your mind, old man. I only ever had Febail growing up, so finding all of this family here at the academy’s been hard. And weird. But I’m not ready to lose them all again— including you.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Andrei. I love you!

Patricia Yngvi

     "I’ve never even noticed there was an extra section in the library there!” “Yeah, but it’s still in the library, you know? Pretty sure we’re not supposed to have food in there...” “I think even the librarian gave up trying to get the stuff cleared out. Sheesh, whoever’s birthday it is must really be a big deal.” “Some guy, I think. Never heard his name before. Probably not in our house, or if he is, then he never comes to class.”

     The group of students pay him no mind as they pass by, but even as Andrei makes no effort to eavesdrop, their chatter still reaches his ears. There are hundreds of people within the walls of the monastery, he tells himself. Why make a fool of himself out of the assumption that this has anything to do with him?

     But even what little he could piece together nags at him, and he turns, instinct proving more honest than the thoughts within his mind.

     The library is all but deserted when he steps within its doors — apparently, students do not appreciate going to a supposedly quiet place to study, only to hear sounds of fighting from just a few bookshelves away — but when he makes his way to the hidden corner, there is also no one to be found. Instead, the table is full with sweets, and there is a letter on the table, bearing a familiar mark. Andrei swallows, then steps forward to pick it up.

     ‘Uncle Andrei,’ the letter begins, and his heartbeat picks up, mentally bracing himself for what accusations or resentment that would doubtlessly be flung his way. Even the presence of everything here does not change the indelible fact that she must be angry. The way he had broken the news to her had been sudden and unfair, he knows.

     It was also necessary. He cannot possibly argue otherwise.

     Andrei frowns as his gaze travels along the first two lines. He would’ve thought the reason to be obvious the moment Patricia laid eyes on her mother... unless, for some reason, she has yet to find out. That is certainly a possibility.

     (A more likely one than any alternative he could dare to hope for.)

     But as he moves down the page, his throat gradually tightens as the harsh words he had expected never comes, instead the feelings as simple and earnest as she’s ever shown towards him. ‘I wanted to make you proud just as much as I want anyone else in our family to be proud of me.’ (He understands that feeling.)

     His vision blurs by the end, and he has to turn hastily away from the paper before his tears could smudge the ink. Family. It is what they are, of course — he’d never thought to deny that. No, blood never changes. Not with Patricia, not even with Brigid. But at the same time... he shuts his eyes with a trembling exhale, momentarily heedless of the escaping tears.

     Family had hardly mattered when his sister had raised Yewfelle towards him. It’s something that he’s long accepted is an important, but discardable concept in the face of acts one considered unforgivable to the family name. To be fair, he’d done it first, with Brigid.

     That Patricia is not as willing to simply give up on him at the first sign of conflict...

     (It’s more than you deserve.)                     It’s nothing he could’ve ever expected.

     He wipes the tears away before moving to gather the food (did she make all this? she might have mentioned cooking at some point but he’d hardly expected something of this scope). Returning the corner of the library to its former state, Andrei slips out of the doors once more, arms full and heart heavier than when he first entered.

     ‘I’m not ready to lose them all again— including you.’

     Perhaps he owes her more than just a simple letter.

[darkwing-katy]

Lost asks: 📖👯‍♂️👕

Lost asks found here!

📖 Pick a few characters and assign them superlatives (here are some more!):

-Best Eyes: Benjamin Linus (I’m putting this on here because I’m obsessed with him and his big wet eyes okay)

-Cutest Couple: James “Sawyer” Ford and Juliet Burke (they’re ADORABLE and I want MORE); Charlie Pace and Claire Littleton are runners-up

-Most Likely to Cheer You Up: Hugo “Hurley” Reyes

-Separated at Birth: Danielle and Alex Rousseau (yes this is also mean oops)

-Most Likely to be Drawing in Class: Charlie Pace (maybe he’s drawing, maybe he’s writing song lyrics, but either way he’s not paying attention)

👯Which character is most like you and why?

I think I’m most similar to Hurley. Between the constant pop culture references, the trying to cheer sad people up, the love of simply caring for people, and the tendency to be overdramatic about things that seem silly (“THE NUMBERS ARE BAAAAAD!!!!!” and blowing up the ship of dynamite??? Love it). Also I may not see dead people, but by golly, I talk to imaginary characters all the time because it’s fun and I get bored.

My husband does say I have my Ben moments a lot, though. Sometimes Ben will do something incredibly manipulative and husband will poke me in the ribs really hard ‘cause I’ve done something similar before, so make of that what you will.

👕 What is your favorite outfit/costume from the show?

I dunno why, but I love Ben’s pastel green shirt that he wears for the second half of season 3. Love it more when it’s covered in blood splatters because that man looks fantastic covered in blood. Yes, I do have a problem and no, I will not be taking comments on it (just kidding; I can and I will).

Also basically anything Ben wears off-Island.

I really feel like either Kate or Juliet had a shirt I was obsessed with but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was. If it was a Kate shirt/outfit, it’s when she’s off-Island and one of the Oceanic 6, and if it’s Juliet, then it’s…I have no clue when it would be.

[springsheep]

In The Name Of The Brother Notes Ep. 28 - 31

Ep 28 -> SZW chats with the jap painter. He does research into the ping fang district...

SZW does research into the "water department" of the Japs... Oh god....

Mr. Shi, tian xiaojiang, SZWu are in the camo together...

Mr. Long (the one whose son is captured) begs Guan Xue to find his son.

SZW is so sad.

SZW: thats my brother, my only brother. If I can't even protect him, who can I protect?

Xie Yue and guan Kai "kidnap" Junko...

SZW chats with the painter. What is Maruta?

The child maruta is sick...

GX on the phone.. looking for GK.

GX hears sounds in her basement and investigates.

Xie Yue has a breakdown and wants to shoot Junko, "She's Japanese!"

Guan Kai tells Xie Yue not to shoot Junko, Xie Yue is enraged and points the gun at GK.

Guan Xue immediately kneels and hugs Xie Yue's legs, begging her not to shoot Guan Kai, and that Guan Kai is her only brother.

GX: I only have him as my brother.

GX manages to overpower Xie Yue and wrench the gun out of her hands, GX: I told you since day one to stay away from my brother!

Xie Yue: 我放过他，谁放过我？

SZWu admits that he is not SZW. Tian Xiaojiang: you and your bro aren't afraid of death?

Tian Xiaojiang: was it worth it?

Txj: don't bow to me, we're in the same grave now.

SZW and lao qian sees airplanes and smoke(?)

Ep 29 -> Junko got hit by a car (I think under GX's orders...)

SZWu and guys are brought somewhere, dunno where.

Hu Bin that bastard is planning something.

SZWu and co are sprinkled with some poisonous powder... Fuck...

There's a kill order for escaped prisoners in the southern suburb.

GX: this is a kill order.

SZW looks for SZWu amongst the dead people... Wondering why the Japs are wearing face masks.

Txj and SZWu are alive, as well as the child and Mr. Shi.

Tzj and SZWu's camaraderie.... Txj died... Oh god...

SZW erects a cenotaph? For txj

SZW is infected and collapses, guan Xue is panicked afbsjsbdbdj

I really love GX rn hehehe

GX: why is there no doctor??

GX in GX fashion draws her gun hehe

SZW is sick in the hospital.

Xie Yue is interrogated by Pan Yue

Ep 30 -> SZW is awake and talks to Asano and GX

Pan Yue calls GX, saying SZW helped the prisoners escape. GX knows it's Pan Yue

Xie Yue is almost rped, GX arrives in time and stops it. GX is so shuai...

GX: you can hit him, just not the head.

Xie Yue beats up that guy.

Guan Xue has flashbacks of her uncle... GX is smoking. And threatens the prime ministers kid, and puts off her cigarette on the kid hahaha

Xy: thank you for saving me.

GX: thank you for letting go of my brother.

GX: you're so fierce, like me when I was young

GX: are u sleeping with him?

Xie Yue checks SZW pills.

Hu Bin gives her deer tendon soup

GX Fav brand; lumingchun

GX: what r u thinking?? Am I your wife? Do I have to eat it? If there's nothing important, don't come to my office, okay.

SZW knows Xie Yue tempered with his medicine bottle.

Ep 31 -> shit, Hu Bin entered GX's house... How can GX be so careless...

SZW is testing Xie Yue..

SZW: let's have lunch together. GX is smiling.

GX in a green dress... So pretty. GX eating...

GX: tell me what's this about. Hongmen Banquet?

She smiles and drinks wine

GX: I was also investigated before, By Mr. Jin.

I have to investigate you, for my sense of security.

SZW is sarcastic about it.

GX smiles so prettily.

GX: if you dare okay tricks, I won't let you go.

GX returns home, drinks scotch, and hears an intruder...

Hu Bin his Guan Kai's gun... Wants to blackmail GX... Fuck

Hu Bin... Confesses, GX dgaf. So hu Bin threatens her with Guan Kai.

GX: (to Hu Bin) stop! Or I'll kill you!

GX: Guan Kai, tell me honestly, did you kill the jap man that night?

GX: can you kill him? Can you even beat him?

GX brings a few people to ransack(?) Hu Bin's place(?)

GX sees pictures of her in Hu Bin's house... And she reads his diary.. it's pretty touching actually? Not really argh

Guan Xue suddenly says: Marry me. The day after tomorrow.

Hu Bin is ecstatic.

GX wants to pretend to marry him and asks SZW to investigate where the gun is...

Guan Kai: My sis can't marry him!! I'll turn myself in to the Japs!

Guan Xue is huddling in blankets and trembling. Aerhfhfhfjdjdh

Guan Xue wearing sunglasses riding a bike.

[kithtaehyung]

personalllyyy I want the balcony bit of fireworks from yoongi's pov :) -🌷

hello yes flower, it seems that you have come over here just to hurt me.

3tan drabble: fireworks (balcony), yoongi pov genre: angst wc: 965

“I see someone started the year off right.”

Yoongi figured you were going to say something. Every time he spotted you around the cul de sac after the first countdown, he could tell something was off. Whether that was because of his kiss, or something else, he couldn't take seeing you that way after witnessing you smile the way you did.

“I dunno,” is how he responds, walking over to the railing and wanting to tell you how it went down. Why he wants to do so, he doesn't want to think about too hard. “She damn near ripped my tongue out.”

Your response is immediate and free of any hard feelings. “I don’t blame her. Yours is annoying.”

“Wow.”

He sees a glass being held out for him to toast, and he looks at you before you yell,

“Here’s to a happy fuck last year!”

What did you just say?

“Oh, fuck. I meant—I meant the whole year, not like… Umm.”

Oh. Wow. You really don't know how endearing you are. Yoongi can only laugh before politely toasting. “Happy fuck last year.”

As he takes his swig, he covertly catches you turning to watch the fireworks going off around the blocks, eyes instantly as bright as every single one of them.

Fireworks were never Yoongi's thing. Not just because they're dangerous and sound like something else that can seriously injure people, but they're also way too loud for his tastes.

But up here, far away from the action but still able to watch all the light shows, he's found that they're nice to watch from a distance.

A small sound of excitement pops beside him, drawing his eyes to your completely awestruck form a few feet away.

Do you even know how you look right now? Do you even know he's there anymore? To him, you look lost in your own little world, and he can't help but want to keep you there forever.

“It’s so weird how you can love something you’re afraid of.”

Stilling, Yoongi blinks before turning back to watch the rooftops.

Is he supposed to say something? What does he even say to that? Why does he feel something in his chest?

There's one thing he can default to, though, and his friend is to thank for that. The two of you really are similar. “Geez, you talk just like your brother.”

Your voice is soft when you respond, but still as crisp as the cold night air, “I mean, I dunno. I just think it’s interesting. I love fireworks, but apparently I am terrified of them.”

Yoongi instinctively drinks from his bottle again, wondering what to say as he places it on the railing in front of him. He can relate to your sentiments at surface level, but there's something else in your words that has him contemplative, too. Something he's been thinking about for awhile and hasn't exactly acknowledged.

He thinks he'll give away more than what he's asking, but he says fuck it and does so anyways.

“So you like the idea of them but not the real thing?”

And luckily for him, you don't catch on. Good.

“I guess so. Weird, right?”

No. It's not weird at all. But he wants to choose his words carefully as he stares at the sparkling sky in front of him.

He's glad that he decided to come up here for some peace and quiet after getting jumped multiple times for New Years kisses. No matter how much fun he seemingly had tonight, being up here - with you - will be what he remembers the most.

“Who cares if it’s weird,” he finally responds. “If you love it, that’s just facts.”

You don't respond to him after that, but the people shouting about the next countdown don't allow much more conversation anyway.

“I should go," you say, the sad lilt to your voice not getting past him.

But, dutifully, he lets you. “Yeah.”

“Have a good new year, Yoongi. See you around.”

Well, the moment was nice while it lasted. Besides, he can't have you all to himself for that long. Not at all, in fact. Stuffing cold hands into his jacket, he turns to watch you leave. “Same. See ya.”

After you slide the door shut, Yoongi turns back to the pops of color steady lighting up the neighborhood. 

But, somehow, it’s not as nice to watch anymore. 

It can’t be that simple, can it? It felt perfect when you were standing there, and now it doesn’t? What the hell does that even mean? 

His eyes flicker to where you were before, like doing do would bring you back again so he could have you to himself for a whole lot longer. 

Goddamn it. 

He shouldn’t be having these feelings, especially for you. How were you able to get under his skin so easily? Are these feelings even gonna last? They are outright terrifying—

Terrifying.

Swiping your glass that you left on the railing, Yoongi makes his way to the door that he knows you haven’t left yet. Because of course you haven’t. Your attraction to him is blatantly obvious to him, and the fact that you proved a bit put out by his kiss only served to prove his thoughts. 

When you see him behind the sliding door, he simply watches you, telling himself not to do exactly what the fuck he’s thinking about doing. 

But as he slides it open, Yoongi does it with purpose, his urge to make you happy trumping the logical side of his brain.

“I left my d—”

“Fireworks scare the shit outta me, too.”

And it’s the truth. 

As he finally kisses someone of his own volition that night, he hopes to any higher power that you don’t get what he really means. 

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a/n: flower i hope you’re happy with yourself. because why???? why??