#why is kaz ASLEEP

[midnight-rain-fics]

Labyrinth

{Fandom: Grishaverse}

{Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem! reader}

Summary: Y/N has spent many a nights waiting for him to come back safe.

“It only feels this raw right now

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind

Break up, break free, break through, break down

You would break your back to make me break a smile”

Caring about someone sucked.

That was a new realization that Y/N had come to. She had always opened her heart to people, letting them in. Some saw the damage and left and the right ones stayed, settling in her heart as if they were always meant to be there.

She didn't have much, but she had hope.

Until she met the bastard of the Barrel. Caring for him had never been the plan. Slowly falling under his spell as their eyes met across rooms should have never happened.

And yet it did.

Every small quirk of his lips, every time his gaze flickered to her, every word spoken in the quiet of his office, it made her fall deeper and deeper.

Until she was drowning in him.

But he was always too far on the shore to hear her, to see her struggle.

Counting kruge while she counted the stars in his piercing eyes.

The bell struck twelve and Y/N sighed, placing her head in the palm of her hand as she waited for Kaz to return.

In the meantime, she flipped through the paperwork she was supposed to help him with tonight. He was already late, there was no way she would let him do the paperwork now.

Not that he would listen to her. Which is why she decided actions were better than words.

Her anxiety crawled higher up her chest with every bell that passed but she pushed it down, continuing to work. Kaz would be fine. He was always fine. There was nothing in the Barrel that could get to Dirtyhands.

Nothing that would take him from her.

Y/N finished putting away the books, placing it exactly how Kaz liked. She settled back against the chair, pulling her knees to her chest, her foot tapping incessantly.

Any minute now, he would walk through his office doors, chastising her for her odd position on the chair, and everything would be alright in the world.

The bell struck twelve past half, and Y/N bit on the inside of her cheek.

Any minute now.

Y/N's eyes snapped open when the door to the office finally opened, and in walked Kaz. A sigh of relief escaped her lips but her breath stuttered in her chest when she took him in.

His face was covered in blood, gashes and cuts lining the sharp edges of his annoyingly handsome face and his limp was even more pronounced. She could even see blood staining the crow head of his cane.

Kaz paused in his tracks, his bitter coffee-brown eyes looking over at her, "Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Shouldn't you be not covered in blood?" The snark in Y/N's tone was hard to ignore, just as the concern was, too sharp but too warm. Like a double-edged knife twisting in both their chests.

"I thought you might like it" Kaz raised an eyebrow, a challenge in his intense eyes as they flickered to her, savouring every bit of her while he could, "Aren't you always saying how good a man looks covered in blood in those books of yours?"

Kaz walked to the sink in the corner of his office, not waiting for her answer.

"Saints" Y/N shook her head, watching him, lips pulled into an incredulous frown. She followed after him, leaning against the wall, "I am never telling you anything ever again"

Kaz ignored her words, though his lips quirked up faintly. He looked at her through the mirror as he started peeling off his bloodied jacket, and then the shirt that had once been white, now stained blood red.

Y/N bit her lip harshly but did not say anything. Her eyebrows creased in concern, and she looked away from him, eyes trained on the dekappal on the other side of the room.

"I let Nina heal the worst of the injuries" Kaz's raspy whisper broke the heavy silence that had settled over the room and Y/N's eyes flickered up, watching him wash away the blood with a wet rag.

She swallowed, her eyes tracking every movement, from the glide of his pale fingers to the soft expansion and contraction of his chest.

Y/N's eyes caught sight of the numerous blue and purple forming on his shoulders and chest but there wasn't any open wound in sight. She let out a soft breath, arms crossed over her chest, "Right..okay"

Kaz gripped the sink, shoulders slumping slightly as he continued to wipe the blood away. He opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it after a moment.

He had nothing to say to her. Nothing that would comfort her. Nothing she would want to hear from him anyway.

Y/N waited for him to finish drying himself and putting on a clean shirt before she walked up to him, taking the discarded rag from him, "Let me see"

He turned his face to look at her, the dried blood still coating his face, his jaw clenched, but he let her examine him, his heartbeat picking up as her beautiful eyes traced the length of his face.

He knew what he was, a monster made man; crooked and wrong. But as she looked at him with such care and concern, he felt human, if only for a moment.

Love was a poison slowly filling his system and she was the one feeding it to him, and all he could do was wait for the next dose.

Y/N bit her lip, and her fingers itched with the need to reach up and clean his wounds, be the balm to his ever-bleeding wound.

But she knew that was a line she could not cross. Couldn't even dream of it.

Y/N sighed, and let the rag drop back in his hand, careful not to touch his bare fingers, "clean up your face and then put some ointment on the cuts"

Kaz's eyes flickered to her eyes dropping to her lips and then to the tag in his hands. His dark eyebrows furrowed in a solemn frown, "what, am I not pretty enough for you like this?"

Y/N raised an eyebrow at him, nudging the toe of his shoe with her own, "Your pretty face will get infected if you don't patch it up"

She spared him a long glance, fingers curled tightly into fists to resist the urge to stay, to help him even if he won't let her, she cleared her throat softly, "I am going to bed"

[marsplastic13]

Knock knock - Part 1

pairings: Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

summary: The door of the infirmary was slightly open, and Jesper could hear Kaz and Vik's voices. Were they laughing? The boy got closer trying to be as quiet as possible, from the narrow space left from the door he could see them reflected on the mirror. Kaz was sitting on the desk, while the girl was looking between all the bottles and medical supplies. "Saints Kaz, sometimes I think you get all this beat up just to spend some time with me" Jesper frowned, were they flirting? Kaz smiled, smiled?, while looking at his feet "Maybe I do" WHAT?

Tw: mentions of violence, referenced drug use, referenced sex

"Vik.. Vik we're back" Jesper touched the girl's shoulder to wake her up. She was all curled up on an armchair near the fireplace, an anatonomy book with a really gruesome picture was balanced on her lap. "How can she fall asleep reading this stuff?" Asked Jesper turning towards Kaz. "We just beat a man almost to death, Jesper" said the boy raising his eyebrows. "That's a really valid point. Vik come one wake up". The girl bolted on her feet, eyes wide open, letting the big book fall on Jesper's foot, who let out a soffocated groan. "You scared the hell out of me Jes" Vik tightened the blanket around herself, steading her breath. "What time is it?" "Almost three bells" said Kaz leaning over the armchair to lift a bit of weight from is bad leg. "Why are you so late? Did something happen?" She was looking between the two boys rather worried. "Job was fine, and thanks to my hero right there that took all the punches for me, even my beautiful face is fine" Jesper gestured to Kaz, he sighed and turn himself towards the fire's light. He had a cut above his eyebrow and his jaw was becoming a weird shade of purple. "Saints Kaz" the girl made a few steps to take a better look of his face "Come on, let's patch you up, Jesper do you need anything, love?" She looked at him over her shoulder while following Kaz to the improvised room they used as an infirmery. "Don't worry dear, just going straight to bed. 'Night boss".

Halfway through the stairs leading to his room at The Slat, Jesper remembered the marvealous sleeping pills that sometimes he convinced Vik to give him, and he went back to try his luck.

The door of the infirmary was slightly open, and Jesper could hear Kaz and Vik's voices. Were they laughing? The boy got closer trying to be as quiet as possible, from the narrow space left from the door he could see them reflected on the mirror. Kaz was sitting on the desk, while the girl was looking between all the bottles and medical supplies. "Saints Kaz, sometimes I think you get all this beat up just to spend some time with me" Jesper frowned, were they flirting? Kaz smiled, smiled?, while looking at his feet "Maybe I do" WHAT?, "Maybe I asked Jesper to throw a few punches at me so that you could fix me up a bit". The girl laughed, and a little grin appeared on Kaz's lips. Jesper had no idea of what he was witnessing, and he absolutely needed to know more. "Open your shirt, I can sense that broken rib from here" "Yes ma'am" Kaz slowly unbottened his black shirt exposing the bad bruise on his side. After gathering all the supplies, Vik got closer to the desk, between Kaz's legs. "I barely see you these days" whispered the boy placing his gloved hands on her hips "You're always working" Was Kaz pouting? "You know that you're always working too?" Said Vik concentrating on his rib. "This is going to hurt a bit" The sound of the rib getting back in place made Jesper shiver. "You could leave your job, you know?".

Vik was not only a healer for the Dregs, she was about to graduate and become a proper medik. It was way safer then trying to live as Grisha in Ketterdam. Jesper didn't know how Kaz met her, he just showed up one day two years prior with a really cute girl saying to everyone that she was their new healer. Since then, she managed to divide herself between her internship at the hospital, her last exams and taking care of them after jobs. With time she became good friends with all the crows, bonding over their wounds at the start and then going out with them almost every weekend when she wasn't working the nights at the hospital.

The girl sighed while treating the livid on Kaz's side "You know I can't leave my job Kaz" From how they were talking Jesper thought that this wasn't the first time they were having that kind of conversation. "Why not, you're on my payroll" Kaz pulled her closer, cocky grin on his face, searching for her focused eyes. "Your payroll? With what the Dregs give me I would call it more of a charity work" Kaz chuckled "Oh yeah? Care to remind me who pays the rent for your really lovely apartment in the University district, in which I think, and please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, you haven't slept in over a month?" Jesper's jaw was on the floor. Were Kaz and Vik in a relationship? Since when? 

"Then I guess tonight there's a long walk towards my lovely apartment that awaits for me" said her finally locking eyes with him. "Absolutely not" "See? It's your fault I'm always here". Always here? How was it possible that no one noticed? 

Vik started working on Kaz's face. "And you know I really love my job and I can't wait to graduate" before he could reply she went on "And most importantly, we need this job. What would we do if for some reason we have to leave the city in any moment? Or if you get seriously injured? Or if you just decide to leave this kind of life. Every time you leave I'm fucking scared for you Kaz" she said the last phrase almost whispering. They not only were in a relationship, but in a raelly serious one. 

"I know, I'm sorry" Kaz moved her hair behind her ear, and cupped her cheek, Vik leaned in while letting out a sigh. "You know, maybe I liked your other job more than this" the boy smirked and she laughed "Oh I bet you did, I was a great dancer, and you tipped very well". Now Jesper was more confused then ever, it didn't make any sense, a dancer? When did Kaz went to places with dancers, on multiple occasions without anyone noticing anything. 

"I just wanted you to notice me, you had something interesting" "That's how they call it now?" she looked at him all innocently . "Let's say that my leg behaved better when you were around, I suspected you were a healer sooner than you think" "You suspected or I let you know?" she winked and Kaz smiled shaking his head. 

"Speaking of, how's your leg? Do you need something?" she was back in her healer/medik tone. "I can survive" Kaz shrugged it off. "Why do you have to be like this" she mumbled for to herself than to him, while placing a hand on his thigh and closing her eyes. Kaz released a breath as the pain receided, closing his eyes too. Vik made a little victory smile before going back to work on his face.

"Nina told me you're going to train her" "Yes, I think that since I'm not with you guys on jobs it's better if she knows a few things more". 

Kaz always said that she was more useful staying at the Slat that being out with them and risking to be injured. And it was a perfectly good reason to leave her safe at home, but now Jesper couldn't stop thinking if there was more. Kaz wouldn't be as focus as the jobs required if he had to worry about his girlfriend. The boy frowned at his own thought, Kaz's girlfriend? What a weird concept. He couldn't wait to tell at least Wylan about everything he was discovering. 

"Well, I think you're all good" Vik looked at her final work all happy, using a bit of her power took away the tiredness that her face betrayed when they woke her up. Kaz's hands were still on her hips, keeping her from turning away. He looked at her with a weird expression "I think you have something here" and then he took a beautiful bracelet from behind her ear. "Oh Saints Kaz! Are you out of your mind? Hey how did you do that?" while she was distracted by the gift he undid a few of her shirt's buttons exposing her collarbone and a generous portion of her cleavage.

"You know they call me Dirtyhands" said Kaz grinning. "Idiot" she whispered tilting her head a bit to let him leave a stray of sloppy kisses down her neck, while she observed the bracelet. In that moment Jesper understood that was his cue to leave, he would absolutely not looked at his boss having sex on the infirmery bed with his secret girlfriend. But, unfortunately for him, his sudden movement didn't went unnotice by Vik, who saw him reflected in the mirror.

"Jesper what are you doing?" the girl pulled away from Kaz and turned away to close her shirt. "Jesper? Were you spying on us?" Kaz's look was terrifying as he walked towards him, shirt still unbottoned, lips still a bit red from her lipstick, surely from some kisses he didn't witnessed. At least he forgot to take the cane, was the only thing Jesper thought while Kaz opened all the door. "Look I really didn't want to hear anything I just wanted something to help me sleep, I just got here"

"And then you decided to stay and listen instead of knocking?" He was furious, and Jesper knew he was kind of right. "I am so sorry, to you too Vik" the girl was still a bit red on the cheeks and was crossing her arms looking more annoyed than mad. "Jes I knew you were a bit weird but really, what were you doing? Would you have stayed there and watch us having sex?" "Oh please don't let me think about Kaz having sex" said the boy massaging his temples, look firmly on the floor.

"So you want to think about me having sex?" replied Vik grinning. Jesper opened his mouth to say something but Kaz cut him off "Can you two stop?" he was becoming all red while Vik was about to cry from her suffocated laugh. "Oh Saints so every time we were talking about sex, the mistery boy was him?" Jesper's expression was the one people generally do when someone make them think about the fact that their parents have sex. "Yes, always" "What did you tell him?" Vik and Kaz talked at the same time, one now openly laughing and the other was becoming a new shade of red.

Kaz was a really private person, and he didn't feel the need to talk to other people about his personal stuff. Especially about how he passed the time with his girlfriend. He was grateful for Vik, because she could tear down his walls effortlessly and he would protect their relationship at every cost. Once the situation calmed a bit and everyone regained their composure, Kaz found a chair to seat, his leg was protesting for standing up without his cane. He passed his hands between his hair a few times before speaking with a more calm tone.

"Jesper I definitely don't want to know why you were behind that door, but you can't tell anyone about us. You know how dangerous it can be if some people discoved this, and trust me, I would come for you if anything happens to her. We've been careful for years and-" "Years? You've been together for years?" "We started dating a month after I started working here. Don't look at me like that, he already knows" Kaz was shaking his head ad rollins his eyes. "Well I think those are too many information for a single night so goodnight" the boy walked towards the door and then came back "But not too good, your room is above mine and these beds-" "Get out."

Part 2

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: This goes out to @kazutora-kurokawa She's a sicky right now and wanna make her feel better. Ilysm, Kaz. I hope this stupid ass cold leaves your vessel soon!

C/W ::: Sicky fluff. F.reader has a cold and Kazutora, Izana and Baji (separately) take care of you.

Kazutora

Doesn't quite know what to you when you first get sick, but quickly picks up on anticipating your needs. You sneeze? Here's a tissue.

Buys the one with lotion in it because the last time he was sick his nose was rubbed raw from blowing it so often.

Has a steady stream of fluids coming your way (oj or any j you want, water, gatorade, tea to warm you. He's got you.

Keeps the heat up even though he's hotter than hell.

Izana

Doesn't really want to be around you at first because what if he gets sick and can't perform his gang-ly duties.

Hears you coughing from the living room and feels awful that he's being such a pussy about this. It's just a cold.

Opts to wear a mask to take care of you.

Ends up getting sick anyway but you're RIGHT there to take care of his baby ass.

Baji

Goes overboard getting you cold medicine because he can't decide between the 38 different kinds at the drugstore and you're sleeping so he can't call you and ask you what you wanted again WHY DIDN'T HE WRITE IT DOWN LIKE YOU SAID TO.

Has your pillows fluffed constantly and the covers pulled up around your chin.

Rubs your feet with menthol and puts socks on you before you slip off to sleep (again)

Wakes up with you in the night when you have a coughing fit and rubs your back until you're asleep.

@arlerts-angel @darkstarlight82 @katshimizuu @viburnt @southside-otaku

[swanimagines]

Hello! Can I request D47. Letter with Kaz Brekker? 😘

Prompt: D47. Letter

Kaz had gone missing. 

It wasn’t unheard of, your boss was often going on his “walks” and just happened to come back with a DeKappel, but you having new intel that should be told to him as quickly as possible, him being absent was particularly frustrating.

Jesper had seen him standing by the bar, looking even angrier as he usually looked like when Jesper was going to the kitchen. When Jesper had greeted him, Kaz had told him to shut up, and after Jesper came out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee, Kaz had disappeared into thin air and had been away from the Slat since. You had checked all the usual places he was in. The Crow Club, the usual places around the Barrel, the roof, the harbor and no sign of him anywhere. You even asked from the harbor if there was a chance he had gone to the Black Veil Island for some reason, but no one could confirm they had seen him rent a boat there. You had also asked the barkeeper Joris about him, but he had just shrugged, telling you he hadn't seen him either even though he was scheduled to come meet his new employee. The poor boy had sat in the backroom for over two hours, sweating so much because of being nervous that Joris had thought he could even melt.

All of it was making you pace around the house. Your fellow Crows were telling you to calm down, but you just couldn’t, the opportunity you had was a golden bullseye, Kaz would be incredibly angry if he found out too late.

You had followed that old rich fool Van Benschoten for months, just waiting for him to slip, to lose his guard, to show you how to get into his manor’s cellar. The man was an idiot in many ways, but he had had his wits present when he had chosen his security architect. It had been incredibly hard to find out anything about it, because he kept changing it up every few days, and tomorrow could be too late for this information.

When you couldn’t take it anymore, you decided to climb into Kaz’s office to wait for him there, to make sure he wouldn’t be able to slip by your attention. You knew he didn’t like you or Inej going there without him being present, but if you happened to fall asleep, Kaz would wake you up once he came back.

“Kaz?” you called out from the window just in case, even though you didn’t expect to get an answer. And you didn’t. You slid into his dark office before you lit the oil lamp and took a seat across from his desk. You stared at the door for a while, but then turned your head to his desk. Maps, a blueprint, one of his ledgers, and… in the corner of your eye on the floor was a crumpled paper.

Your name was written on it.

You swallowed, looking around as if to make sure no one sees you looking at it, that Kaz wasn’t hiding somewhere observing what you do when you see it. And you knew you shouldn’t snoop. It was nothing, probably. Likely. But what would Kaz write about you, that got him so worked up that he’d crumple it up, toss it aside and march out of the Slat in a burst of anger?

But still, you found yourself picking it up from the floor and carefully straightening it. It was clear Kaz had squeezed it into a ball before throwing it aside.

Was it the reason why Kaz had been angrier this morning, barking at Jesper like that?

You just couldn’t help yourself, just a few words, you promised to yourself. You just want to know what it's about, if it was something important. Maybe something to do with one of the upcoming jobs.

The ink had dried, but it had still been wet when Kaz had crumpled it up. Most of the letters had blurred, but you were able to distinguish what one paragraph said despite it. You took in a deep breath and began reading.

“I wanted to tell you yesterday. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. What use would it be, why would you want me? I’m broken, I wouldn’t even be able to hold your hand, I wouldn’t be able to tell you my feelings, you’d always have to guess and speculate. It wouldn’t be fair to you. Ghezen, these times I wish I would be able to be like others, I—”

The rest of it was too smudged to read, and you lowered the letter slightly, standing up and starting to pace. Your heart was thumping as you stared at the words, they didn’t sound like Kaz at all, and you doubted your eyesight for a moment, wondering if it was someone else’s handwriting instead.

And your name in that kind of letter… did it mean Kaz had feelings for you? After all this time of you believing he had feelings for Inej?

Then it hit you, and your shoulders slumped. He was sketching a letter for Inej, and had accidentally written your name into it. You had seen them together, they had their moments, their own language, heads pressed together in the corner as they shared secrets. It couldn’t be you. Or maybe Kaz had thought about asking for your opinion about the letter draft, a bizarre idea, which is why it had your name.

Then, you suddenly heard the key turning in the lock, and you quickly threw the letter back on the desk to see Kaz coming through the door. He stared at you for a moment, and you dug your pocket before finding your written-out intel, barely being able to hold his gaze. “Van Benschoten is ready to be picked, I found out this morning.”

Kaz narrowed his eyes on you. “What were you doing?”

You swallowed. “Waiting for you. And, uh… I saw my name, and I thought…”

His eyes flickered on the letter on the desk. “Have you always read things that aren’t yours?”

You felt like your heart stopped as you quickly stepped aside, trying to blurt out an apology, but Kaz ignored you, striding over and grabbing the letter, crumpling it into a ball again.

You shook your head. “No, I’m sorry, I thought it had something to do with the job, because it had my name on it. I thought you had left it for me to read.”

He leaned over the desk, throwing the letter into the trashcan before looking at you. “You surely saw it wasn’t about the job once you read the first word. It’s personal, not for you to read.”

You nodded, lowering your gaze to the ground. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

He was quiet for a moment, before he looked at the little paper in his hand you had given him and sat down, placing his cane next to him to lean against his desk. “Tell me about Van Benschoten.”

You sat down immediately, starting to spurt out everything you had found out. “He changes up his security arrangements every few days, but he has a secret hatch behind a small hut in the garden. I bet we could get to his treasure chamber from there. Inej agrees, I talked about this with her this morning.”

You continued your explanation, tracing your finger along the blueprint in front of Kaz, and once you had finished, he leaned back. “I will send out Inej to scout ahead. Jesper will handle the guards. Wylan creates the distraction. You… you will guide us to the hatch. You’ve seen it in action, I trust you know how to open it?”

You nodded, clasping your hands behind your back. “I do.”

He stood up, picking up his cane again. “Good. Let’s move.”

---

Requests are open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

[mlmxreader]

Nothing Better Than to be Home | Kyle Gaz Garrick x gn!reader

『••✎••』

↳ ❝ Kaz with

94"Have I ever mentioned how good you look in my hoodies?" ❞

: ̗̀➛ Being home is one of the greatest things in the world, and Gaz isn't one to ignore it.

: ̗̀➛ smoking, swearing

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•

More often than not, Gaz always texted you to let you know when he was close to getting home, usually when he was around five minutes away so that you would have time to put the kettle on and make him a cup of tea for when he walked through the door.

You always did the same if you were ever out; always texting to let him know when to stick the kettle on and make coffee.

The thing was, though, Gaz was home in the early hours of the morning, and when he went to text you and he saw the time, he figured that you would be asleep.

So he left it, and when he got to the door, he tried to be as quiet as possible; sneaking around to the kitchen and gently, softly placing his bag down as he sighed.

You left your cigarette stuff on the side, along with one of his lighters; it made him smile as he rolled one for himself, lighting it and taking a long drag. After months of smoking Price's shit cigarettes, he was glad to steal one of yours.

He leaned against the counter, closing his eyes for a moment as the nicotine flooded his system. He didn't realise that you had just come out of the bathroom after getting into your pyjamas… not until you screamed and made him flinch.

With the cigarette between his lips, he threw his hands up and exposed his palms.

“Only me!” Gaz yelped out, daring to grin when you took a step closer. “Only me, sweetheart.”

You breathed out a sigh of relief, turning the light on and coming to stand beside him as you hummed quietly; you took a filter, a paper and a pinch of tobacco, rolling together. “Why didn't you turn the bloody light on? You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

He couldn't help but to laugh, shaking his head as he gently put his arm around you; you were so warm, he couldn't help but to close his eyes as he sniffed gently.

He tried not to laugh again. “Did I say you could steal my hoodies while I was away?”

“Did I say you could pinch my baccy?” You pointed out with a soft chuckle, shaking your head fondly. “Why didn't you text, anyway?”

From the corner of his eye, Gaz could see the light of dawn slowly starting to rise; the darkness of the night slowly turning a pale, dull blue as the sun began to creep out of its blankets and glare wearily at the world.

He was glad he could watch another sunrise with you, in all honesty. He missed it.

The long nights watching films together from the moment it was dark, only to look out of the window and see the dawn start to rise; the cooing of pigeons taking over from the hooting of owls. The foxes running away as the light slowly reached out with deft fingertips.

Gaz couldn't wait for times like that again, being able to snuggle into you as you neglected the world outside in favour of more films; your laptop resting on his crotch as he leaned his head on your shoulder.

“I thought you would be asleep,” he admitted, his voice dropping to a gentle and sweet hum. “I'm sorry.”

“It's fine,” you assured just as gently, leaning into him and closing your eyes for a moment. “How was the trip home?”

Gaz wanted to tell you the truth, he really did.

He wanted to tell you that Ghost had annoyed him to Hell and back with his constant dad jokes and stupid puns. He wanted to tell you that Price's cigarettes were disgusting and nearly made him give up on the spot. He wanted to tell you that Farah was the only one who didn't annoy him and actually let him use one of her earbuds.

But he couldn't bring himself to do it, too tired and drained from the planes and trains and taxis that all he could think of was having you near; snuggling up with you at night and feeling your warm flesh against his own.

Feeling your soft kisses wake him up as the light crept through the gap in the curtains. Singing with you in the kitchen as he helped you to cook whatever meal you had settled on together; trying not to laugh when you begged him to slow dance to country songs.

Going shopping with you and pushing the trolley as you asked him what to get even though you had both left a shopping list on the kitchen counter. Splitting the chores directly down the middle and meeting halfway through for a quick kiss. Watching films together from dusk until dawn.

Gaz had missed the lot of it, from the mundane to the exciting. He missed every single second, but he was so tired. He hadn't slept for two days, and he wanted nothing more than to snuggle up with you in bed and fall asleep.

Catch up on whatever he had missed and know for once that he wasn't going to wake up alone; that he was going to wake up and be able to bury his face against the back of your neck and grumble and plead for five more minutes in bed.

“It was… the usual,” he breathed out. “To be honest I'm just glad I'm finally home.”

“Y'know what?” You mused, finishing your cigarette and putting it out in the ashtray on the counter. “I'm glad you're home, too… I've missed you.”

“I can see,” Gaz chuckled softly, tugging at the hem of the hoodie you were wearing as he grinned. “Have I ever mentioned how good you look in my hoodies?”

You shrugged, hooking your arms around his neck and pulling him close. Gently rubbing the tip of your nose against his for a moment. “I’m sure you have, but you've been gone so long… I need a reminder how it sounds.”

[iamthemain-character]

Sankt Milo

platonic! The Crows x reader

gender neutral pronouns (reader is referred to as “you” and the occasional “Y/n”)

TW: show-based, non-canon compliant, 2014-Avengers-Tower-fic-type of writing

a/n: milo is my favorite character. that’s all.

Shadow and Bone Masterlist

You had been absent for almost a week.

Sunday afternoon, you simply disappeared from the club and hadn’t returned since. The only reason the Crows hadn’t completely panicked yet was because you had left notes for all of them saying you had to leave but you would return (each with a special indication that you did not write this as you were being kidnapped). Nonetheless, The Crow Club felt emptier without you, and each member missed you terribly.

It was storming late that Friday, and after closing the club post-another successful night, all 6 crows were gathered around a table, enjoying a drink together. With a clap of thunder the group heard the back door slam open, then shut again. Everyone drew their weapons, hearing heavy footsteps slosh their way across the wooden floors. A figure, cloaked in shadow, stopped in the entryway from the storage rooms, and everyone waited with baited breath to strike.

With a flash of lightning, the figure’s shadows were cast aside, revealing you. A very drenched and bedraggled you, but you nonetheless.

“Y/n!” 5 voices cried out.

“Milo!” Jesper’s voice carried over the others, for even more astonishing than your return was the furry, black and white animal you carried in your arms.

The Zemeni man quickly crossed the room, but not without Nina, Inej, and Wylan on his heels. The latter three took your hands, throwing a dry blanket over your shoulders and Jesper carefully took the goat from your arms, pressing kisses to it’s head over and over.

“Oh Milo, I have thought of you every day.”

The group helped you sit down at the table, bringing more towels and blankets, and Kaz pouring you a strong drink. But despite your shivering, you couldn’t help the smile that cracked across your face as you watched your friend reunited with his emotional support goat old friend.

Wylan turned to you, an incredulous look on his face. “That’s Milo?”

Nina and Matthias had matching confused expressions on their faces, but it was Nina who spoke up. “So did you disappear without a trace for the goat or was that just a happy accident? Also why is Jesper in love with a goat?”

With a laugh, some help from Inej, and some quips from Kaz, you told the newer Crows of the treacherous and disastrous journey the group had taken through The Fold and how Jesper had formed a trauma-bond with this particular goat.

Jesper came back to your table, Milo still clutched in his arms, just as you were explaining yourself.

“Jesper was so sad to say goodbye to Milo, and I just wanted to get him back. But I didn’t want to tell you guys that’s what I was doing in case I wasn’t successful. But thankfully that sweet barmaid had sent him to her father’s farm, and I was able to buy him back.”

“Please tell me you didn’t spend too much for that goat.” Kaz’s voice cut, head turned with his classic look of disapproval.

No longer able to be scared by Dirtyhands, you waved him off. “No price is too much for our little Milo.” With a smirk you turned back to the club owner, “Perhaps we should rename this place The Goat Club?”

The table roared with laughter at the pure look of disgust upon Kaz’s face at your simple suggestion. Inej reached across and scratched Milo’s chin, a smile upon her face. “That’s not so bad, after all, Milo is like our own little Saint.”

Nina clasped her hands together, delighted at the Suli girl’s suggestion. “Sankt Milo! Oh how perfect. I am all for the changing of the name.”

Kaz’s voice broke through the laughter. “We are not changing the name, and we are not keeping it.”

Despite what he said, Wylan found himself grateful for Jesper’s arms around him as they fell asleep, because otherwise the former feared he would have fallen of the edge of the bed. Somehow, one small goat seemed to take up half the bed.

And even though Kaz swore that the goat would be sold in the morning, everyone turned a blind eye when he placed a plate of waffles down for Milo in the morning.

That was, everyone turned a blind eye until Nina realized they were her waffles.

[lady-ashfade]

Six of crows x fem!reader chaos

Warnings: Chaos, some kinda adult themes, a little bit of undressing, cursing, this a cursed post.

*The group on a roof after the mission fails*

Kaz: What do we do when the plans fails?

Jesper: Well, we’re on a roof so we might as well go back in and die inside.

Y/n laughs and runs passed everyone: Parkour!! *Jumps off the roof and onto another one*

Everyone: Y/n!

Kaz groans and shakes his head.

Y/n glaring at kaz for the past hour.

Kaz not even looking at her and writing: What are you mad about?

Y/n pointing outside the window: You made him into a mini you!

*Wyaln outside setting shit on fire*

Kaz shrugs: The fire part is you, how ever the killing part is more me.

They all walk into a room and see that Jesper is only in his boxers, and y/n with her shirt off and pants off. They sit at a table with cards in their hands.

Wylan: What is happening?

Y/n glaring at jesper: I’m about to beat your boyfriend.

Jesper: You wish. *He puts down cards with a smirk on his lips*

Y/n looks at him for a minute and then jumps onto of the table going to kill jesper.

Nina and Inej pull y/n back as she fumes at the mouth and shouting.

Wylan hitting jesper over the head: Stop playing strip poker!

Kaz walking away: We don’t have time for this.

Y/n sitting still for once and alone at a table.

The rest of the crew looking at her a few feet away with worry in their eyes.

Jesper: I’m actually scared right now, she hasn’t moved at all.

Inej: I’ve never seen her sit still before.

Kaz getting sick of it and walks over to her: Y/n.

Y/n not moving at all. Kaz sees her lips parted and a soft snore come out.

Kaz looked at her with a face of “How in the hell” and walks back to the others: She feel asleep with her eyes open.

They all sigh and now understand.

Y/n falling over onto the floor and then wakes up: Ah! *She stands up and looks around*

They all watch you sprint out the room.

All of them: There she goes.

Kaz walked into his office and y/n following behind him.

Kaz takes a minute and then turns around and his eyes widened: What the hell are you doing?

Y/n with her shirt half off her head: What? Do you not want my shirt off?

Kaz: Why would I- Why are you taking your clothes off in the first place?

Y/n: You said “Hey, let’s chill.” And you never, never say that type of thing. I thought you wanted some.

Kaz: I was nervous!

Y/n: So you want some?

Kaz glares at her and shouts: Put your shirt back on!

[a-reverii]

▸ YANDERE KAZ BREKKER HEADCANNONS

⋮ content warning ━ ꒰ stalking ; kidnapping ; murder ; drugging ; mentions of death ; mentions of heists & thievery ; brief strong language ; no pronouns for reader ; etc. based off this request. ꒱

━━ ( navigation ) ( masterlist ) ( request )

When Kaz realizes his feelings for you, at first, he wants nothing more than to bury them far below the ground and to forget about them. After all, he's Dirtyhands — Bastard of the Barrel and the closest thing there'd ever to be its king. He doesn't have the luxury of exploring how much further these feeling for you go — not when his entire focus is on getting revenge from Pekka Rollins and making enough kruge to swim in.

So he keeps his feelings hidden, buried deep within the most obscure crevices of his heart. And this works, for a time. Kaz is no stranger to ignoring his emotions, and focusing on his wealth and his revenge has never been a foreign concept to him.

That is, until you get hurt — which, in a place such as Ketterdam, is inevitable.

From there on out, Kaz realizes how important you truly are to him. And, although he'd rather pull his eye out than admit his true feelings, he learns to accept them.

You're a weakness, but one he can't afford to lose.

He remembers how distraught he'd been over Jordie's death vividly, remembers it all too well. He didn't intend on you being a repeat of his brother, even if Jordie's death was only a result of the boy's own naivety.

Kaz begins to slowly remove you from the more dangerous tasks, instead opting hire other members of the Dregs to take your place on most expeditions and heists. He doesn't want you to know of his plans — not yet, and he was no stranger to waiting.

He starts to have some members of the Dregs keep track of you and tell him of your daily activities. It was necessary, he'd argue, to ensure that you remain safe if he wasn't there to protect you, and in Ketterdam, the more eyes he had on you, the better.

Kaz also begins to watch you whenever he can. Some would call it deranged, and maybe it is, but he couldn't care less. All that matters is that he knows where you are at all times, whether you yourself know it or not.

Anyone who he deems a threat, Kaz kills in cold blood, whatever the reason may be. Someone who so much as looks at you for too long may be put in peril, and he isn't past hurting, maiming, and blackmailing to get the message across that you're off limits.

If Kaz were to decide to kidnap you, it would be after much planning and careful consideration. He knows you'd be mad. He knows you'd be scared out of your mind — that you'd be scared of him. But you'd be safe; he'd make sure of that. And if you're safe, what else truly mattered?

Kaz is certain to make sure that you're unconscious when he takes you, but takes some chloroform in the case that you wake up. He isn't particularly keen on taking any chances, especially with you. If he sees you stir, he won't hesitate to place a rag over your mouth to keep you asleep. There wasn't any room for mistake in his plan.

When you awake, you find yourself in an unfamiliar room. For the most part, that is. Items of yours or those that bear an eerie likeness to your own items are scattered about the room, all in a very clean fashion. In fact, the more you stare, the more you find that the room looks almost like your own. The bedsheets are the same color as your own ones, the layout quite similar, too. Though you'd never had much of a say in how your last bedroom appeared, it chilled you down to your core to think of why this one seemed to be a recreation of yours.

When you first see Kaz, you almost want to laugh at the absurdity of it all, but the look he gives you makes you shudder instead. Whatever reason you had woken up in a bed that wasn't your own in a room that wasn't your own, wasn't good if he was involved.

If you're terrified of him, Kaz doesn't seem to care. In fact, he's so indifferent to your plight that sometimes you wonder if the real reason he took you was because he loved you, but you weren't in any position to ask.

Kaz isn't one for physical affection, so instead he prefers to spoil you with anything you want. His methods of getting certain items aren't always conventional, or legal, for that matter, but he's never been one for following the rules.

It's nearly impossible to escape wherever he brings you. Being the master of lock-picking, Kaz is sure to make every lock fool-proof, to reinforce every door. On top of this, he ensures that no one knows of the location to which he takes you, even if he has to bloody his hands to make sure that he's the only one with the knowledge. As it was said: Kaz doesn't like taking chances, especially with you.

Now, this being said, if you do manage to escape, Kaz will go into something of a manic frenzy. He'd done nearly everything to stop you from escaping, and yet you still managed to slip from his grasp.

From there on out he'd spend all of his time searching for you, the rest of his duties be damned. He'd made a promise to himself that he wouldn't lose you — not like he lost Jordie — and he wasn't planning on breaking it.

It wouldn't take long for him to find you. Whether you were still in the woods or whatever deserted land he'd situated the house in, or you'd managed to make it back to the city, rest assured, you'd be found.

"Try to leave again, and I'll break your fucking neck."

It wasn't true, of course. Kaz couldn't harm a hair on your head — not if he tried. But he wasn't above other measures that included hurting the people you loved and scaring you out of your wits, so it was best to simply let yourself believe his lie.

Overall, Kaz is most likely one of, if not the most dangerous person in all of Ketterdam to have an obsession with you. They say he'd do anything for money, but what he'd do just to have you couldn't even compare. He's not past killing everyone you've ever known just to make you compliant, and maybe he even finds some sick joy in it — your fear, your utter desperation. He revels in it.

But, at the very least he'll keep you safe, and at the end of the day, that's what everyone in Ketterdam wants, isn't it?

After all, he'd always told you he protects his investments.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Exactly as you are

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n well look at us meeting at part three already. Thank you so much for all of your love. And an extra thank you to @brekkershadowsinger for being my knight in shining armor and a beta reader! Love you so much!🤍

summary: when two broken souls meet something is bound to happen.

warning: mention of past trauma, anxiety, sexual assault, murder.

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The sun peaked through the open window. The sun - which was supposed to warm and bring hope did little for the coldness that lingered in the room. Kaz rubbed a hand over his tired eyes. Sleep just didn't find him tonight. And how could it be when all he heard were your cries? Screams and pleas that dragged way into the night. Kaz leaned back into the chair that he had pulled over hours ago. His gaze fell on your curled-up body, now fast asleep in his bed. His pillow beneath your head, his blanket warming up your body, his shirt clenched between your hands as you held it closer to your chest.

When Kaz had made his way back, the first person he was greeted with was Jesper. He could tell that the man was lingering. Purposely trying to wait out to catch Kaz there. Kaz thought about ignoring him, and he was going to until Jesper spoke up, "I'm sorry. You know that I am", dirtyhands spun around to face his crow. A cold, predatory gaze seeped through his eyes. Not family. Not friends. A boss and his investment, "Are you, though?" Now step away from one another, they were practically breathing at each other's throats. "Imagine that was Wylan? What would you do, Jesper? How far would you go?", Kaz barked out and turned away in an instant. Too much. Jesper had already seen too much. There had been too much. Too much was at stake. Too many people were involved.

"You love her", Jesper breathed out. "You…", but Kaz quickly turned back to him, the tip of his cane now pointed straight at Jasper's throat. "One more word, and I will rip your throat out". The warning was primal, raw, and something that deep down Jesper hoped Kaz would never actually do, but from the way, Kaz's eyes blazed and the way his hand shook ever so slightly, "Consider yourself lucky because Wylan was there if none of you would have been…", but his words died down. Choked out by that fear of losing once again. Kaz had already run through every possible scenario and every feasible way that those two could have hurt you. He needed names. Needed a reason. Now he wished he had left at least one of them alive. One of them to tell Kaz, who had been stupid enough to try to get to you when you were his. Because those faces were new to him tonight. Not prepared. He was as unprepared as the crows, and for that alone, Kaz couldn't find the strength to properly punish Jesper.

"Take Inej and sift through the docks. I need reports of all the newcomers, their names, who they work for, and why they came here. Find out who those two were", Kaz ordered, fingers running through his hair in frustration. He needed to calm down. To properly pull himself together. His emotions were too much of a giveaway that he cared. But shouldn't he? Shouldn't he care? His business might be in danger. There was a tassel in his club. His property was damaged. Who knew how much it would cost to get the blood off the floor? "Inej is upstairs with Nina looking after Y/N", Jesper muttered, and Kaz only nodded his head. "Good, go after it or go alone. I don't care".

"Kaz", you had muttered at least a thousand times since Jesper had walked in with you in his arms, shaking like a leaf. Nina dragged a wet cloth down your back, locking eyes with Inej, who was just as worried, before turning to you. "He will be here shortly, darling. Fix a couple of things, and I will be with you", she said as lightheartedly as she could, although Nina doubted if the state Kaz would come back in would help you in any way. The heartrender had suspicions. Most of the crows did. You two were almost glued to each other. And for goodness sake, who else besides you got to sit on Kaz's bed, let alone lay or sleep in it? No one. They couldn't even breathe the same air as him for longer than intended. But then there was you. And no matter when or for how long you stayed in Kaz's office, there wasn't a time when you were cursed out and pushed through the door. Together. Almost always together. Kaz's heartbeat changed first. At least that was what Nina caught onto. Maybe it wasn't affection at first, but still, you managed to alter Kaz's heart. Give strength to the beats, but lighten them at the same time.

"Kaz", you muttered your mantra, once again, big puffy eyes looking up at the two girls. Inej was a breath away from comforting you once more, but Nina cut in swiftly, changing the subject, "Let's get you out before you turn into a prune. Come, up you go", she pulls at your hands, making you stand, before wrapping a towel around your naked body. "Inej, why don't you fix a cup for all of us, huh?", but there was more behind this, and Inej could tell. Almost a silent plea to go look for Kaz. That whatever Nina was doing to keep you calm wasn't going to hold for much. She could feel it too. Slowly bubbling. Building up.

Kaz selfishly did not want to seek you out after all. Why would he? You had Nina and Inej. What would he do there? Stand and look? But then shouldn't he go up there and demand answers? Maybe the two had told you what they wanted. Because this seemed more than just a quick fuck that they were after. If that had been the case, Kaz would have been too late to stop it. Too late… Promised to protect. To keep safe. The image of you stripping in his office the first night flashed through his eyes. Kaz clenched his fist angrily. He had killed them all. Found a list of every man who had put in money to buy you off. They were begging for it to stop, but all Kaz did was repeat your name over and over to them. Dragging their deaths painfully slowly. No one knew about that. It wasn't something anyone else needed to be a part of. It was for Kaz. It was for all the rage that waked in him every time you flinched, every time his eyes caught a glimpse of your scars that painted your wrists and ankles, the torn skin on your back while you were changing, and the emptiness in your eyes.

Then Kaz heard it—the faint sound of your voice once again. His name slipped out of your lips in desperation. Calling for him. Searching for him. Kaz stood up, rushing towards the door, but then he halted. Still as a stone. He could not face you. He could not see you. Not now. Not like this. Not for everyone to see. Your voice grew louder. Kaz. Kaz. Kaz. Kaz. Kaz put his palms over his ears. Turning to walk to the furthest corner. Yet he still heard the way Nina was trying to soothe you. Kaz could almost see you trashing in her arms. The cries made him tightly close his eyes. He wanted to. There was nothing more that he wanted than to hold you now. To answer the call. To pull you out again, but he couldn't. There was no way.

Slow her heartbeat, make her pass out, Kaz thought to himself. Come on, Nina, be useful. And as if the heartrender had heard him, the cries died down softly. Followed by a little sob from Nina and a ray of apology slipping past her lips. The silence stood again. Kaz braced himself against the sink, catching a glimpse of his worn-out face in the mirror. Weak. Worthless. How can you protect her when you can't even go to her when she needs you the most? The anger rippled again, and without a second thought, Kaz's left fist slammed into the mirror.

The room was dim. The last remaining light source was the fire slowly dying down in the fireplace. Wylan was rubbing his hands over Jesper's shoulders. Nina was leaning onto Inej. The tea that sat in front of them had gone cold. Neither of them had touched their cups even once. It had been several hours since the last cry echoed through the house. Nina had stopped sniffling. She had never before used her ability in that way. It was one thing to make someone fall and cripple them in the middle of the job; it was a completely different story to choke the air out of the lungs of someone you cared for while watching their limp body in front of you.

Even at the thought of that, Nina's lips trembled once more. Jesper reached towards her, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder. Tonight had been a mess. Everyone's brains had been scattered with questions. All the ifs and whys, maybes, and whats. And with Kaz nowhere to be seen… He had made it clear to everyone that Y/N was someone that each of them had to look after. And tonight they all abandoned their posts. Sure, it was Jesper's night to keep an eye on you, but the blame couldn't be placed solely on his shoulders. They all let loose. Disappointed Kaz, but most importantly, hurt you in the process. They didn't talk about the other side of this. There was not even a thought about it that lingered. Jesper, while telling everyone about the conversation he had with Kaz, cut himself off right before the question of love was brought up. Not his to discuss. Not his to be brought to daylight.

"Why are all of you still here?", Jesper had stood up so quickly, nearly sending the little table flying, the tea cups rattling. All of them stiffened, like kids who had been caught misbehaving and now were awaiting the scolding of their parents. None dared to meet Kaz's eyes. It felt like he had brought coldness with him, as the room suddenly became almost freezing. If Kaz was being honest, he wasn't sure if he wanted them to fall over one another while they apologized or if he preferred silence. The silence that carried fear. The power he had over them.

"I gave orders to Jespere…", dirtyhands spoke once more, and Inej was quick to cut in, "He told us". Kaz nodded his head, and said, "Good. Then why are you here?" It seemed like such a simple question, but then again, what were they supposed to say? Because they wanted to see him? Because they tried to find strength in one another? Because being alone felt too vulnerable? Yet this set of silence was met with a growl from Kaz. "Go", he muttered angrily. Turning to the side so they could walk past him. "Kaz, she…", Nina started, being the first one to lift her eyes, and the coldness that pierced her made a shiver run deep within her body.

Kaz lifted his hand, silencing her. "I'll take it from here. I have unfinished business with her as it is", Nina shook her head. "Kaz", you were too weak. The demons within you had feasted on your strength. If he were to come at you Kaz-style, he would send you into yet another panic attack. But Kaz only let out a snarl, "Did I ask for your opinion?" They lowered their heads. Jesper wrapped one of his arms around Nina, bringing her closer to him, and clasped Wylan's hand in another. He glanced at Inej, who only nodded her way. Get the two settled, and then they would hit the town just like Kaz had ordered them to.

When Kaz finally made his way up to his office, he tried to pretend that you weren't lying in his bed. That he couldn't hear your breathing. When that got too hard, he tried to trick his mind into thinking that this was the usual night. Like always. He had chosen to work too late, and you had ended up falling asleep. The only difference was that on nights like that, Kaz found himself watching you. The way your face would relax. There was no sign of the slight frown that lingered then. Calm and relaxed. Comfortable enough to sleep in his presence. Now, however, Kaz tried to keep his eyes away from you. Too afraid that it would only break him more.

But the uneasy breathing was hard to miss. You let out a cry, and Kaz's eyes drifted to your frame. Only now did he notice the shimmering drops of sweat clinging to your forehead. Hands clenching the sheets. Kaz blinked again. There in your place now laid Jordie. Turning and tossing as the plague spread further and further. Kaz stood up, crossing the distance between him and the bed in a couple of steps. He ripped the gloves off his hands. The taste of bile in his mouth picked up again. What was this cruel joke? Sure, he was a bad person. Had done so much wrong, but why you? Why Jordie? What have you two done? Or was it a curse for just letting Kaz be a part of your life?

He kneeled once more. One deep breath in, and his hand came into contact with your warm forehead. Not burning up, but warm enough for a slight fever. A part of him was trying to stay rational. To get a fever after a night filled with such events was normal. It could happen, but what if this was something more? What if they had poisoned you? What if he had missed it? Kaz reached for a jug of cold water before dipping a piece of cloth in it. The moment the cold material came into contact with your skin, your eyes opened up slightly.

The fright in Kaz waked again. He wasn't ready. Wasn't prepared to see you conscious just yet. You glimpsed up at him tiredly. Body eased slightly at the sight of him. Kaz swallowed thickly. He didn't know what he wanted to say or what he should say. A part of him wanted to shout at you, but one look at your eyes, which had lit up ever so slightly at the sight of him, halted him once more.

"I'm sorry", you murmured, licking your dry lips as the uncomfortable tightness pulled at your skin. Kaz shook his head, reaching for a cup, "Nothing to be sorry about". The words had come out more sarcastic than he had wanted. As if he didn't genuinely mean it. You gave him a look. One that he had learned to identify. One that let him know that you were more than aware that he was lying. But he wasn't.

"I would do it again", he muttered, turning his gaze away from you. And he would have. As much as he tries to tell himself that he would never reach for you again, he knew deep down that it was a lie. Because he would. Because you were now a part of him. In ways that Kaz couldn't fully identify. Ways that were unfamiliar to him. He had only felt somewhat similar when it came to Jordie. Sure, Kaz cared for his crows, but that was different. You were different. Your eyes filled with tears as you watched him. You had been so desperate to apologize. Aware that you crossed the line by touching him tonight. For reaching out to him in a way that he didn't want to be reached. And here he was telling you that he would do it again. You shook your head, "No." Your voice died down. Cut off by the fear. By the lack of words spoken for a long time.

"Don't push yourself", Kaz ordered you firmly, but you jerked your head once more. He needed to know. You wanted him to know. Through your heavy, tired eyes, you looked at Kaz. You searched for him as you always did. "No one has ever touched me without bad intentions. You…", you stopped yourself as the tear ran down your cheek, stinging in your eyes getting unbearable. "You were the first who wanted to hold me without the intention to hurt me".

The sob finally slipped past your lips. You quickly moved your hand to cover your mouth. Trying to silence the cries, knowing how much Kaz hated emotions displayed like that. Kaz closed his eyes, lifting his head ever so slightly. If you hadn't crossed the line before, you sure have now. You reached for the sides of the sheets. Not waiting for him to scold you. Not ready to face him pushing you away. But Kaz was quick to snatch the side of the blanket out of your hands, pressing it down onto the bed and keeping you covered.

There was so much that Kaz wanted to say. So many words at the tip of his tongue. So many thoughts. And you knew it too. You could tell, so you settled back down. Both of you used up your emotional resources tonight. Drained yourselves dry. Yet Kaz looked at you once more. Reaching for the cloth to dip it into the cold water once more. Just this time, his palm lingered on your hair for a moment. A silent promise that he wanted to figure this out together. Step by step. No matter what was to come, you were going to do it together. Then he turned away from you once more. Pushing the rising water down. You watched him for some time until your eyes grew heavy, and the darkness pulled you under once more.

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Kazzle Dazzle taglist: @igakc @anxiousbeech @vicky-09 @coldheartedmar

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

She Kept Him Human

pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: fluff

el's thoughts: requested by @jahayla-parker .. ahhhh 30ish mins and 700 words, not bad haha hopefully this got me out of my writers block and hopefully this is somewhat alright... given the fact that my brain is half dead right now and it's not edited- like at all :)

Kaz tore his eyes away from the papers sprawled across his desk when he heard the heavy wooden door creak open. Familiarity settled in his chest as Y/N padded across the floor grabbing his blanket off his bed and curled into the window seat next to his desk. His eyes scanned over her figure taking in her appearance. Her hair was a mess, sticking up in all directions most likely from her tossing and turning. Her slightly red eyes and dark circles. She wrapped the blanket around herself tightly, bringing her knees up to her chest as she rested her head against the cold window. He watched the lights from the building reflect in her eyes as she scanned the city as if looking for a distraction.

No words were exchanged between the two as a comfortable silence settled around the pair. This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence and at this point, Kaz looked forward to the nights she made her way to his room. The reasons for her coming up always varied between being bored, not being able to fall asleep, or having nightmares. He was always able to tell given her mood and appearance. Tonight was nightmares. He knew eventually they would talk about it but he waited till she was ready. Till the vacant look faded from her eyes and she felt present again. 

He finished signing a few papers and placed them aside, trying to draw his attention away from the girl beside him. Finally, a sigh slipped past her lips as she turned to face him, “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me for nothing.” He watched her lips curl into a small, tired smile. “You know it’s not nothing to me.” He tilted his head to the side in a slight nod before he stood and moved to his washroom. 

Y/N watched him slide his gloves off and run the tap water over his hands before splashing his face. He was quick to dry off and make his way back to his chair, leaving his gloves on his sink. His eyes met hers with patient expectation and that was her sign he was ready to listen. 

“I miss them so much.” She spoke with her voice muffled behind her knees as she rested her face against her blanket-clad legs. He didn’t ask who she was talking about since most of her nightmares were the same thing. The death of her parents.

“I don’t know why I can’t get the images out of my mind…” She sighed, “Okay well it’s not a completely unreasonable thing, but it’s driving me mad, Kaz.” She looked at him, her eyes started to tear up, “I could’ve-”

“Don’t.” He cut her off before she could go down the familiar spiral. “We’ve been down that road and we both know it leads nowhere. Don’t start yourself on that. You couldn’t have done anything, Y/N.”

She inhaled sharply and blinked rapidly. To anyone else, his words would’ve come across harsh and insensitive, but to Y/N they were comforting and a reminder that she wasn’t alone. He knew her just as she knew him. He would be there for her in her weakest moments just as she was there for him. It was a mutual thing that had grown on them over time, it was them. 

“I know, I know.” Her voice sounded heavy but Kaz could tell she was composed, letting go of those memories. Her mind wasn’t haunted anymore and was ready to fall back into a peaceful sleep. Silence filled the room once more as a yawn slipped through Y/N’s lips. “Can I…?” She pointed to his bed and he only nodded before turning back to his desk. She was quick to walk to his bed and curl up under the blanket, burying her nose into his pillow while inhaling deeply. A feeling of warmth spread through his chest as he watched her actions discreetly. Knowing the fact that she found comfort in him, he managed to convince himself that he might not be the monster he thought he was. At least not completely. Not with her around. She kept him human, and he was silently grateful.

[egret-orchids]

because its in my mind today heres a basic overview of my soc fantasy au (ik grishaverse counts as fantasy but this is like typical fantasy au)!! but if anyone wants me to explain more feel free to like. ask about it.

if you ask anyone in ketterdam who kaz brekker is, they’ll tell you any number of things. but the most common is that he disappears without a trace and reappears someplace else with no means to explain.

some will say that in the right light you can see his eyes flash pure white, the sharp angles of his face distort slightly, see an odd black smoke pouring from his sleeves or around his collar.

but it’s a fact that he stays around the disgraced son of one of the merchant council members. he’s always near to where brekker was last seen, and quite often left bruised and knocked out. he’ll tell you he’s fine, that he’d just fallen asleep and obviously got kicked. it’s a lie, and if you looked under the merchling’s gloves, you’d see tendrils of smoky black tingeing the fingers on his left hand, a gradient from black to the pale colour of his skin. it’s the same for his right arm, but instead of pure black it’s a dark grey.

that was the case for years, until that hellgate breakout, and now his right arm is slowly going from grey to blinding white.

wylan doesn’t understand why until he runs- literally- into a necromancer and her partner.

[munsons-mutiny]

Headcanon that next season it’s Steve not Jonathan who catches Will staring at Mike with patented Wheeler Longing. He knows that look, hell he invented that look.

And is very first thought is God Damn I’m just collecting Gays at this point.

He makes an effort to spend more time with Will when he realizes. While they’re all volunteering and just doing their best in the weeks after losing Eddie, he always tries to make sure Will knows he sees him.

As they get closer he starts taking wise cracks at El and Mike whenever they’re around, stupid sassy comments that never fail to make Will smile or even laugh. Eventually he even starts roping Will into teasing Robin for being hopeless with girls. (Robin is of course in on it and has approved being outed in this scenario, Steve would never have revealed it otherwise)

The first time it had happened Will had frozen up completely looking around to see who was listening, he looked terrified. But Steve just kept his reaction natural and Robin just rolled her eyes talking about all of his strike outs last summer. Their usual banter filling the space until Will could breathe again, could join back in to give Robin shit.

His smiles are even brighter after that, even more open, and sometimes when the three of them are alone he comments on a cute boy he saw, or really rants about Mike. Steve and him bond over Wheeler rants, even though Steve really is over Nancy now.

When shit inevitably kicks off again, Steve keeps an even closer eye on Will. He’s one of the people that he’s overprotective of now, and it’s the first time one of those people have been the focus of the enemies. Have had a target painted on their back. It has him so stressed already, that he hits his breaking point the day they encounter Kaz.

Not Eddie. Cause he’s not Eddie, not anymore. He nearly took a bite out of Dustin, and Johnathon had to restrain Mike to stop him from running to him. Only stopped fighting when Kaz grinned at him blood covered fangs and dead eyes.

It was a bad day.

They somehow all make it back to the cabin unscathed, and Steve has to keep it together. Has to make himself strong while Dustin falls apart in his arms, and Mike is pacing and shouting at anyone who will listen. Tears streaming down his face. He keeps it together for hours, til Dustin falls asleep against him, and Will finally got Mike to sit down and pass out. Only when he’s sure he can escape unnoticed, does he stand and let himself outside to the back of the cabin.

The second he’s there he collapses into sobs. Falls to the ground and puts his face in his hands to muffle them. Shakes with the effort of it all.

It doesn’t take long for an arm to wrap around him as he’s tugged into and awkward side hug. When he looks up it’s to see Will comfortingly just there as much as he can be. They sit silently for what feels like hours before Steve finally speaks,

“I’m sorry”

“Why on earth are you apologizing?”

“I can usually keep it together better than this, they need me to be strong right now.”

“Nothing about this makes you weak. This is such a fucked up situation, this is worse than just losing him. And I know how important he was to the party. Im sorry I didn’t realize how important he was to you” Steve just shakes his head at him,

“He wasn’t not really, I only knew him after everything started going down. Only really spoke to him a handful of times. And honestly I didn’t even like him!” Steve’s voice picks up hear going higher and almost frantic, “He was annoying! And touchy! He gave me so much shit, and was always all over me! He flirted constantly, and was totally insufferable, and honestly I’m pretty sure Dustin liked him more than me! And! And….” His voice deflates on the last and, the fight and anxiety going out of him, “I couldn’t get him out of my fucking head man.” Will almost cant believe what he’s hearing.

“Steve are you?- Did you?” He almost cant ask the question, figured Steve would’ve told him by now if he was. What with their little group of queers that Steve tends to watch over. Heck Robin had even called him the unicorn collector! Like he was separate from them!

Steve just shakes his head frantically, “No! Or yes? More like maybe” He just sights putting his head back in his hands, “ I don’t even know anymore, there had always been fleeting attraction to guys but never anything- real, never anything like this! And then- well, he was gone before I ever got a chance to figure it out. Before we ever got a chance.” And he looks small, defeated like he doesn’t know what to do with himself, and Will can’t stand it.

“Well then we save him, we get him back, and you figure it out”

[frnkir]

silly lab rats / mighty med headcanons!!

adam seems like the type of guy to say ‘lmao’ out loud like “L-M-A-O” when he hears something funny

he definitely also says "YOLO" unironically

chase and adam used to race each other up the rock wall in the lab when they were kids, and whoever got to the top first would get first dibs on the xbox

whenever bree gets into a heated rant she starts talking so fast that she ends up being completely incomprehensible. and when she's done with the rant, she'll say, "well, thanks for listening," and chase or adam or leo (or whoever) will just awkwardly nod because they have no idea what she said lmao

adam is inexplicably good at making balloon animals: from a dog to a snail to a phoenix, he can do it all. no one knows how or why, but he just says it's one of his bionic abilities lol

kaz really loves the sound those springy doorstoppers make and always checks behind doors to see if there's one there, and if there is, he'll tap it with his foot and laugh as it goes boioioioioioioioioioioioioioioing (he's very easily amused)

chase was probably too busy with missions and stuff to join a school club in canon but i bet he would've KILLED IT on the high school debate team

jordan would love the bands war on women and destroy boys

bree and leo loved to gossip with each other about their classmates when they were in school

i think skylar would like yoga, it would be a fun hobby for her, especially since she’s so flexible

kaz laughs out loud every time someone says the word "balls" in any context

oliver has a stuffed penguin plushie (he’s had it since he was a kid) on his bed because it helps him fall asleep easier

idk if he would have a name for it or not but if he did it would probably be something boring like “mr. penguin”

bree and leo bond over watching reality tv shows together

skylar and bree go on a run together every morning (not in a competitive way lol but just so they can spend time together)

leo likes to paint his nails fun colors like purple or green

that’s all :) thank you for reading my little thoughts <3

[dreamtigress]

WIP Wednesday

Thank for the tag, @priincebutt!

I haven't had much time to work on my biggest WIP, Vakantie. Hoping to get the brain to get back to it soon. But here's a snippet from the beginning of Chapter 2, Kaz and Inej's first wake up at the farm.

Kaz blinked awake to pins and needles running down his right arm. It took him a solid moment to realize where he was, and why his arm was both asleep and trapped. Inej was wrapped around it, head pillowed on his bicep. Early morning light streamed in around the curtains, lighting her peaceful face like a painting of a Saint. Unfortunately, Sankta Inej needed to relinquish his arm. Loathe as he was to wake her, Kaz tried a gentle shimmy. She mumbled rather adorably. Then gripped his arm tighter. 

Wincing, he whispered, “Beloved… Inej… I kind of need that arm…”

“MmmNo. S’mine.”

That’s just unfairly cute. “Can I bribe you with breakfast for my arm?”

“Mmmaybe.” She didn’t let go however. 

“Oddly enough, I need my arm to cook…”

Inej, without opening her eyes, scowled in thought. “Fiiiine,” came out rather petulantly.

He was able to acquire his arm, sliding a pillow into her grasp in the process. When he leaned down to brush a kiss on her forehead, Inej murmured, “Eggs?”

“I can try.” It had been a while since he’d cooked much of anything. Surely some scrambled eggs couldn’t be too hard, though. Once he got the feeling back in his right arm, that was.

Soft tags for @intosnarkness, @magicandpizza, @hotpinkmurex, @tinyarmedtrex, and @porcelainmortal if they have anything they want to share.

[swanimagines]

FREDDY CARTER'S CHARACTERS SAY "I LOVE YOU" FOR THE FIRST TIME

the gifs are mine!

PIN

It was after a few months of dating. Pin had invited you to come along on a riding trip to pass time, you had ridden for two hours and stopped by the beach to look at the sunset, cuddling on a blanket and sharing occasional kisses and nuzzles. You laughed at Pin’s jokes and Pin fell silent for a moment. He admired your smile, listened to your laugh - God, if he had a choice at that moment, he would relish in it forever. Then, he said it, louder than he had intended. “I love you.”

Your smile immediately disappeared as you snapped your gaze to Pin, and for a moment he was wondering if he said it too soon, if it would make it awkward. If you would pull away and tell him that you should probably go. But then you broke into a smile too, took a hold of his hand and pressed a tender kiss on his lips. And you whispered against his lips, “I love you too.”

KAZ

Ok a bit longer because he refuses to say it for a long time. You know he loves you but he hasn’t said it. 

You’d been together in a way since you were teenagers, but it took years of him even saying it aloud he thinks of you two being a couple/dating, so the first time he says “I love you”? The boi had barely told you he cares about you in a romantic sense.

It happened quite spontaneously, you had had a fight over you risking your life during a heist, Kaz paced back and forth his office, telling you how reckless you were, how you could have died, how stupid you were when you went solo.

You clenched your fists, taking a step towards Kaz, making him stop pacing. “You never believe in anyone’s else’s judgment but yours, you get mad even if me going solo was a success - which it was! It comes off as entitled and infuriating, and quite frankly, sometimes I wonder if you really love me or if-”

“I do!” he let out, and the second he said it, all color left his face and he staggered back, leaving you stunned, staring at him.

You had definitely not expected that. Kaz Brekker confessing his feelings for you like that.

You both were silent for a moment, before Kaz could even out his breathing. He closed his eyes for a moment. “I do love you,” he repeated, this time quietly. “And that’s exactly why I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”

You stared at him for a moment longer, before you took a tiny step forward, lightly grazing the sleeves of his shirt with a small smile. “You won’t lose me.”

TOM

You had helped him escape after he committed the murders at the farm - you had always liked him and even though this “new” Tom scared you to some extent, you still wanted to help him, hiding him away just in case. But after his mum had been sentenced to prison, you were able to live more freely and not hide him every single time you heard sirens approaching.

It took some time, maybe a year. Your relationship had deepened during that time, and you lived together, his name was on the door too. He had moved from your couch to your bed, and you often fell asleep cuddling or after a make out session.

One such night was when it happened. You were making out in your bed, him hovering on top of you.

“I love you,” he suddenly muttered against your lips, and then continued kissing. Your heart had melted on that moment and you returned the sentiment in between kisses.

JASON

Your relationship was basing itself on raw passion and not really real love for a long time. You shared a room and offered each other pleasure whenever either of you needed it, but you were also free to do it with other people. But as time went by, it started shifting into something deeper - something neither of you had really expected. The mornings had begun to start with cuddles rather than just waking up and getting up. He started spending Crowley’s parties near you rather than go dance with other people and snog with them. He started to be visibly jealous if someone was checking you out or flirting with you.

So one night when you were about to go to sleep, changing to your nightwear, you asked him. “Why have you acted so weird lately?”

Jason paused while unbuttoning his shirt, looking over at you with a frown. “What do you mean?”

You shrugged. “You’ve been… different. I don’t know, it's just… our arrangement feels different.”

Jason was quiet for a moment, and then he sighed.

“I’ve been feeling different,” he mumbled, finally taking off his shirt.

“Different how?”

Jason looked at you, clearly contemplating if he should tell you. But then he said it. “I think I’ve fallen in love with you. It isn’t part of our arrangement, but it happened.”

You stared at him for a moment, but then your lips turned into a smirk. “Oh, really? Come here, then. Show me how much you love me.”

It took him a few moments to register what you said, but the next moment, he was already on top of you, kissing you passionately as he slowly undid the buttons of your night shirt, his head dipping to the crook of your neck, pressing more kisses there. You moaned softly as he ran his hands over your body, your fingers tangling into his hair.

After a moment you pulled away slightly, looking into his eyes and caressed his cheek. “Just for the record… I love you too.”

ELLIS

He’s a romantic. He hadn’t even told you about his feelings before he had already been completely and utterly in love with you. So when you agreed to date him, he wanted to sing his heart out to you immediately but instead, he held his deepest feelings inside him for quite a bit.

It really wasn’t before you almost died because of the Catherine-turned-demon. He ran in to hold you, almost crying from joy after you assured him you’re alright and then, he held your face between his hands and pressed his lips against yours, kissing you like never before. After the kiss, he leaned his forehead against yours, whispering, “I love you.”

You smiled after hearing it, caressing his sides. “I love you too.”

---

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[is-today-tomorrow-in-nz]

OMG that Rule of Wolves ending was a total Deus Ex Machina! Leigh Bardugo really destroyed ALL the magical system's balance so her favorite could become a God, Avatar, mindreader, emotion reader, and dragon (ironic because LB was a Dany anti for GoT) with no consequences! But Alina, with ONE power just trying to take down the Fold = GREED = STRIPPED OF ALL POWERS. It makes no sense, and causes migraines to think about how LB destroyed all the worldbuilding for poorly thought out wattpad ending.

Thank you! I was beyond frustrated too. Her magic system is like a mirage in a desert- it exists one moment and then vanishes the next minute. It does not help that she plays favouritism with her own characters. Zoya, Nikolai and the crows are clearly her golden children. Aleksander is her scapegoat child. For the sake of her golden children, she bends the plot and swathes them in plot armour. However she refuses to offer any sort of redemption or even decent plotlines for her least favourite ones.

Just the other day, I was lamenting about this in another post. Let me share my fav deus ex machina other than the ones mentioned in the original post.

1)SoC: Began well- foreign country, jurda, everything at stake, heist etc etc. After the disaster of the trilogy, I was excited to read something different. However, the climax just made me want to fling the book to a corner. So Jarl Brum knows the partial truth from Matthias, knows why the crows were there. But somehow they got away scott free. Like yes, Nina made some soldiers fall asleep, but doesn't Fjerda have a navy? Isn't Djerholm not a harbour? Do they not know the ship name? Do they not know how long the jurda effects last in Nina? And yet all Brum did was stomp like a villain at the end of scooby doo saying, "If it weren't for those meddling kids!" and did nothing. They literally attacked one of the most powerful country's capital, blew up a part of their palace, and stole a tank! Somehow destroying a bridge was all it needed to stop an army! And at the final standoff, the soldiers were just put to sleep not killed. even if Kaz was just a day ahead, the fierce Fjerdan navy should have caught up to them. 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ But no... Nina attacked them with parem. Suddenly nothing can be done. It's like Fjerda is this formidable enemy when LB needs it to be and then become a bunch of helpless idiots when her favourite characters need to escape!

2)S&S: Ivan's death or literally any Grisha death on the Darkling side. They were very dangerous and battle experienced one moment but somehow were nothing compared to two sword weilding mercenaries. With convenient plot devices, the man who is literally the oldest and the most powerful Grisha in Ravka, was defeated and left at sea- no doubt hit by LB's idiot hammer. The man literally created THE FOLD for god's sake!!! And yet he and his army of well trained Grisha were defeated in a matter of minutes.

3)Nikolai: The whole Nikolai spiel was that he is the 'good' guy. He desperately wants the throne but instead of doing anything about it he was literally waiting for his big bro to get bored of it and throw it to him. That was the 'most clever fox's' brilliant strategy. Because that's what good boys do. Only evil, dark wizards create a coup.

And when the plot doesn't move forward, the easily-defeated-at-sea Darkling, is suddenly a raging powerful villain who conveniently kills Vasily and hands the good boy his throne.

I could go on and on. She butchered her own universe and is fixing them with cello tapes.