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#why is that so hard!! why don't queer people get that
hussyknee · 11 months
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cant put my finger on it, but Taylor Swift feels like walking racial microaggression
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daz4i · 3 months
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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp
i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand
many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you
also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)
#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭#i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them#if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person#you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect#and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops#i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck#seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate#if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted#if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use#'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that?#'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way#a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way?#'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that.#i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels#so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process#you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them#but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you#anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol#(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer.#so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤)#also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really#i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.
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floralovebot · 1 year
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It's insane to me that this entire "debate" (if it can even be called that) is literally just
trans people, jewish people, black people literally everyone who has been hurt by bigotry: hey please don't spend $70 on a game about pro-slavery and fascism when a lot of that money will go to its creator who is publically bigoted and uses her massive amounts of wealth to fund the eradication of marginalized groups
and the response to that was: fuck you why can't you just let people enjoy things, harry potter personally saved my life
like. it's extremely telling that so many people value their own entertainment and nostalgia over the lives of others. jkr is such a horrible, despicable person and literally all people are saying is that yeah you shouldn't be giving a modern day nazi that much money when they constantly bring people to the alt right and donate that money to every anti-human rights organization you could think of.
and no i don't think sending people death threats is okay but at the same time, you don't get to act surprised, defensive, or victimized when people call you out for giving money to a fucking nazi.
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blondiest · 10 months
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going to make my own version of those "that girl" videos that used to go around on tiktok (which were basically aesthetically-styled disordered eating so far as i could tell tbh) but mine will be me eating stuff like hard-boiled eggs slathered with mustard & enjoying it with a degree of enthusiasm that viewers find off-putting. my "that girl" trait will not be yoga or drinking five gallons of water a day or even having nice hair or clear skin, it will simply be my joie de vivre or however it's spelled
#i used to eat hard boiled eggs w mustard on them all the time in college bc they had them in the vending machines#and they also had packets of mustard#and i forgot my lunch like every day lol#so that became my lunch#it's a humbling experience to eat a wholeass hard boiled egg in public with like. no knife to cut it in half btw. like you just have to#take bites and it's fine but you feel silly and inelegant#it does not help if you are very gender nonconforming at the time but like. aren't trying to be. jfhfhfjgh#<- was really bad at fitting in during college bc i had super short hair and wore men's jeans and sweaters from goodwill#all of which are actually swag things to do btw but like it doesn't feel swag at all if you like. are actually trying to fit in#and are just very bad at it#and genuinely cannot connect the dots on Why Girls Don't Want To Be Your Friend (it CAN'T just be that you're getting read as queer. right?)#(because that would be so messed up if it was because of that.)#[narrator voice: it was because of that]#anyways this is off the rails bc it was supposed to be about eggs and my love of them but#a lot of people say that college is better than high school. and for me it WAS by a lot but it still was really hard in a lot of ways#i felt deeply isolated. i went to an ag school in the middle of a midwest state and studied STEM#in high school i associated with basically only queer art kids (not a huge high school and a lot of us weren't out yet but. y'know.)#and then in college i felt very out of place#and towards the end of college i decided to try and take a stab at looking more traditionally feminine. grew out my hair#got rid of my bangs#it was fine#i definitely noticed that people treated me much nicer once i had long hair and women's clothes that actually fit me#and i was like okay yeah so i guess i just should try to pass as straight then. that seems like it'll be easier#during the pandemic i gave myself bangs again. just a lil bi girl swag yk. and then last august i got my hair cut into a real short bob#and i immediately felt so much more like myself. idk how to explain it. but i was just like not meant to be feminine in that exact way#i'm honestly still pretty feminine presenting overall but#i love the fact that if i wear my hair messy now it looks kinda boyish. and if i style it nicely it looks girly.#i feel like i have options yk. and i still don't think i get read as queer now tbh? though i'm bad at knowing these things#but i don't feel like i'm HIDING anymore#WOW THAT WAS LONG SORRY LMAO
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nat-20s · 1 year
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I don't want to sound dismissive because you're right and stories about adults are good, but that post about not relating to coming of age stories is so funny you just "came of age" like 6 years ago.
i definitely get where ur comin from anon but I didn't relate to coming age stories when i was """"coming of age""" either. I haven't even had a first love and i didn't start to understand my gender more until i was 23 skdfjkdflk which is why it's hilarious but also a little frustrating that ages like. 15-19 are supposed to be prime Discovering Yourself and Becoming Who You Are ages. most people are in a constant state of self discovery and becoming and i just find most coming of age stories uhhhh...kind of horseshit lol. I'm dunking on anyone that did find them relatable or did see themselves in them or value them but they r just. Not for me and never really have been even when I was the target age you know?
#replies#anon#'coming of age' we are ALWAYS coming of age you know? coming to know yourself in your 30s is still coming of age!!!#im not actually arguing with you personally anon this was a fun message and i get that like. yeah i cannot claim to be an Elder tm lol#but i think some people are misinterpreting that psot and are being like ugh how dare you maybe just stop reading YA??#and that NOT my fucking point. my fucking point is that like 75% of the shows and books that get recommended to me#(which jumps to like 90% if it's queer media :/) are about teens!!!#i don't want teenage stories and im sick of self discovery and first loves and fun adventures and cool space operas being#mostly starring teenagers as if only teenagers experience that stuff!!!#why are adults allowed to find new loves and passions and have a love triangle with a bad boy and their best friend if they so want#why are 40 somethings allowed to figure out their gender and sexuality!!!#THAT's what im complaining about im complaining that finding good Adult fiction that has some similar narrative beats to the imo best parts#common aspects of ya fiction is hard#where's the stories for those of us that didn't have first loves at 15 and haven't had first loves at 25 and are still figuring out things#tldr most high school/ya stories have some really cool elements that i don't think need to be exclusive to teenagers#extra tldr: stop telling me about fictional teens having sex i can not and will not fucking care anymore#SORRY FOR THE TAG RANT ANON YOU DIDN'T DESERVE THAT FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS LOL
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eleilinnrallin · 1 year
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Me: Hey I'm trans.
People: Read The Bible
Me: only finding affirming things in bible study ... Yeah I'm doing that. I'm trans.
People: >:[
#personal#fr it's a little ridiculous#I'm just. so tired of *gestures at the State Of Things*#tired of people saying I'm an ''ideology'' and that I should be eradicated#tired of people saying my friends should be eradicated#tired of people trying to take away our access to safety and medical care and the ability to use the bathroom#like come on I just want to live#just let me be my genderfunky little Christian self#I am legitimately going to be moving to somewhere safer after college because there's no way I'm gonna feel safe here#but even so depending on how other things go... if national stuff goes down hill#it's going to be devastating#(main post only vaguely connected to this ig)#oh but also so many people just. don't get how genuinely hard it is to be queer and Christian#we were ''discussing'' why it can be hard to have faith in sunday school today#and like I brought up some very real reasons I struggle with faith sometimes#(other people. policies actively harming us. being called wrong and bad and whatever when we very much aren't.)#and the group just kinda backed off and was *scared* to have an actual discussion#like they didn't know how to react#and a lot of my queer friends aren't religious anymore so it's hard to have conversations about specific things like this with them#also genuinely when I've been studying in the bible I don't find anything anti-trans#I just find things that are really good to me and helpful *and that are supportive of me being trans*#yet for some reason I'm the bad guy#for some reason ''love others as I have loved you''#and ''greater love has no man than this; that a man should lay down his life for his friends''#has turned into ''eradicate trans people''#''force people to either conform to your idea of Right or be severely punished''#''it's ok to blatantly misgender and disrespect people''#i. just. want. to. live.#I want to be a college kid messing off with friends and going to classes and not worrying about getting kicked off campus#I want to be able to sing in a register I can't reach by an octave when I try sing it
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hypnowave · 1 year
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#mmm. mmmmm.#sometimes u wake up and shower and look in the mirror at your wide hips and narrow shoulders and u think#''damn this trans stuff is really delusional isn't it'' because no matter how hard you try you're never going to pass#because you can't get top surgery and can't get hormone therapy and can't safely learn to lower your voice#and you have a couple irls who know about your actual identity but you're certain they don't actually see you as male#except your sister and your best friend#you have a woman's body and a woman's voice and are living a woman's life and nothing you do seems to ever change that#it all feels so fucking pointless sometimes.#figures. one of my classmates presented her essay draft today and it was about whether or not being queer was nature or nurture#and it really hit a nerve. because people don't actually care which one it is. if it's nature then they will find this hypothetical gene#and they will purge it.#if it's nurture then they will do anything to stop the ''gay agenda'' because lgbtq+ behavior is deviant behavior and is therefore immoral#they would do anything to prevent us. we are an illness#i'm so tired. so fucking tired. i know i'm not male and i know i'll never be male and i wish i could just accept that#idk why i keep clinging to the notion that i am male . what's all this for?#i choose to carry this burden as if i'll get anything out of it. as if my time and energy wasn't needed elsewhere#my work. my final paper. my health. i'm so tired#i just wish i could stop caring.#jun.log#negative
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neverendingford · 9 months
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#tag talk#storytime sexcapades#sadness is canceled. met a really cute cool dude visiting town for work and stayed up all night talking and uhhh. other things.#I really am so ready to move. I wanna be in a college town with community music groups and a larger visible queer population ugh.#anyway. the more I experiment the more I realize I'm actually definitely trans and I would like certain bits lopped off 😕#I will literally never shut up about the connection between sex and gender. I'm sure there's some shortsightedness to it#because I'm speaking largely from my own experience with it. so obviously there's an implicit perspective bias there#but like. turns out when you're dissociated from your body it can be hard to enjoy certain body activities.#I'm mostly over showers now. it's way easier to see myself the way I want to be. still things I want fixed. but things are livable.#but yeh. sex is difficult when you're at war with your skin.#also. why do people do poppers. your head spin for a minute and you smell organic solvent for a while. my head spins all the time#like. “it's just like sniffing glue” bro why do people sniff glue I don't get that either“.#“it's like being drunk for a short time” I don't get why people do that either.#throwback to that time someone said I needed to not become an alcoholic and I just pointed to my four month old vodka bottle in the fridge.#idk. there's a use for it. alcohol is a CNS depressant and I love it for that. but only sometimes is that necessary.#anyway. I'm curious to try other substances but I fully expect to walk away going “eh. I don't get what the deal is with that”.#but we keep doing new things. for science. to learn about the world. and to become a more understanding person. understanding is everything#anyway. cool people do exist. I literally said that thing about not meeting people I like and the universe decided to be a joker about it#did I already say that we stayed up all night? sitting on the trunk of you car watching the stars on a warm desert night is a good vibe.#I like getting out of the city and finding a patch of desert to park in and just bathe in the night air. and it's better with company#the end. bye. I have an age of empires game to finish cause I paused it to go meet up with him. and now I have to finish it#ALSO. yeah I know.. vodka in the fridge. I've started putting it in the freezer just cause there's not as much room in the fridge
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starblaster · 2 years
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blogger executive decree: stop being obnoxious on my posts
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helium-fox · 2 years
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one thing i feel that’s missing from the people saying ‘i don’t like this genre bc of x’ and people responding  ‘read better books, they’re not all like that’ is that often times those people are TRYING to read better books
but it’s not like you can go to the library and go to the “sci-fi without racism and sexism” section or “fantasy with good queer rep” section. especially with a culture that doesn’t want to “spoil” anything
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I really don't understand this whole "queer is a slur" discourse here on Tumblr. like, if I make a post about queer people, I mean queer people. if you don't identify as queer? cool, that post isn't about you. if I wanna talk about lsbtqia+ people I'm gonna say that.
and yet, everytime there's a post about queer people, someone will go onto the post and tag it as q slur or tell the OP that queer is a slur. that is disrespectful.
like, I fully agree, if you don't want to be called queer then no one should call you that. of course I'll respect that. but people always feeling as if I was talking about them when I talk about queer people doesn't help.
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sorry to vagueblog but people say the most stupid shit on this website
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centi-pedve · 8 months
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annoyed forever & always by people who ask for "more woman authors" like !! women have very consistently been in the majority for the last decade at the very least when it comes to author demographics. what you need to show us is some sort of proof that women get worse offers or less readership on average or something! because raw author demographics are very obviously not the issue!
#or at the very least maybe you could focus on demographic disparities within certain genres#or. other demographics. such as ones pertaining to race or queerness or disability or class#and honestly one thing when it comes to demographics that we feel people miss out on#is how many people in that demographic actually SUBMIT#'there are more X authors than Y authors so publishing is discriminatory towards Y authors' is inherently flawed & annoying#there could totally be something if like 80% of submissions are from women but only 55% of authors are women#thats hard data to get most likely but without it we dont really feel any reason to be alarmed over the matter of demographics#for example - there are less poor authors. this is not because publishers hates poor people#but because poor people have less free time and don't have the same resources to market#or get help like paid editors#while higher class writers have a lot of free time and resources so they have an inherent edge#thats not necessarily the fault of publishers... thats the fault of our economic system#there needs to be more context in order to make certain points. incomplete data borders on meaningless#and we're not saying that there hasn't been research or points made with full data we're saying that there are too many people who#get lazy with their activism#publishing is not fair and we need to understand why. it is not the same for every group and the issue does not always start with publisher#pedve 'pinions#sorry for putting all this shit in tha tags we realize now this prolly shoulda been main post stuff#but no time to transfer 😋
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gaogaigoatgrrl · 2 months
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i hope that in the wake of predstrogen/predesterone's back-to-back deletion we don't forget about the ongoing building wave of seemingly organic transmisogyny from the userbase leading up to it, some of which may or may not have been the result of terf psyops but all of which certainly wouldn't have been possible without the eager participation of a significant proportion of users, including but probably not limited to:
the entire concept of transandrophobia (if this offends you, think long and hard about why you want so badly for it to be real)
the ongoing backlash against the terms tme and tma (if they offend you, think long and hard about why they might have practical value to trans women and people with similar social positionality)
the ongoing trend of trans women's blogs getting flagged on the flimsiest of pretenses and generally receiving far more scrutiny for "adult content" than anyone else's
the seeming unironic revival of "baeddel" as a slur for outspoken trans women, on the basis of a long-dead clique that, ironically enough, self-applied the long-dead (and tbf, etymologically questionable) slur from the middle ages to reclaim it
the entire "trans women should be fucking trans men instead of complaining about transmisogyny" genre of post
the backlash when tgirls finally started calling out the aforementioned bullshit
the copypasted anons sent to several trans women (many of whom were lesbians) sexually harassing them and threatening corrective rape for calling out the aforementioned bullshit
the backlash when tgirls called the aforementioned bullshit sexual harassment
the expansion of flexible queer label use (which to be clear, i am generally all for) to include "afab trans women", muddying the waters and making transmisogyny harder to articulate
the backlash when tgirls started calling out the aforementioned bullshit
the aita incident in which a trans woman described a cis woman claiming to be a trans woman in a group chat and giving other trans women terrible medical advice based on no actual qualifications or experience, and got a huge backlash for warning them about the aforementioned bullshit despite the stakes of, you know, following terrible medical advice
everything from the sixth point onward happened within the past... week? two weeks? my sense of time is a bit fuzzy. who knows what the rest of this week has in store?
people on this website are so incredibly hostile to trans women even being able to name our own oppression, let alone resist it in any concrete way. and i know it's not just this website. don't you get tired of the crab bucket bullshit? holy fucking shit.
like, i've been lucky, i've overwhelmingly managed to dodge it (probably on account of frankly being a pretty boring and inconsistent poster). this time last year, i was actually bored that i didn't have anons in my inbox to argue with. but i've seen it happen to so many other women now, it's absurd. even if it never hits you personally, you can never shake the awareness that it's happening to so many of the cool girls on here, people you like and whose posts you laugh at and who you look up to. they just kinda seem to drop like flies over time. don't you get tired?
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bitterkarella · 1 month
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Midnight Pals: Spicy Stories
JK Rowling: hello children Poe: oh Poe: oh joanne Poe: you're back Rowling: i have concernss Poe: uh we're mostly about just telling stories here Poe: you have your own campfire for your terf stuff don't you? Rowling: yess but they've really been getting on my nervess lately
Rowling: you know how it iss with terf deatheaterss Poe: not really Rowling: alwayss agreeing with everything i ssay Rowling: all "oh yes dark lord" this and "oh spare me dark lord" that Rowling: ssometimess you jusst get tired of hearing "masterful gambit dark lord"
Rowling: i tell you, you don't know how hard it is to run a cult L Ron Hubbard: oh yeah woof big mood Hubbard: people think its all fun, but its actually a lot of work Rowling: I know right????
Poe: regardless, joanne, i'm going to have to put my foot down Poe: this campfire is just for stories Rowling: uhhh actually i do have a new ssstory Rowling: i wass insspired to write after having an argument on the internet Barker: oh damn no shit? Barker: that's wild
Rowling: it's a new harry potter ssstory King: oh man! it's about time, i've been hoping for a new potter story for ages! Rowling: itss about hermione going back in time to help grindelwald, who actually had sssome good points if you think about it
Rowling: i call it Rowling: the time turner diariesss Barker: wow this is not really funny anymore Baker: its like INTENSELY not funny Lovecraft: catchy title tho!
Rowling: i'm retconning grindelwald into a misundersstood idealisst Rowling: who was only forced to make hard choicess because of the unreassonablenesss of decadent weimar society
Rowling: oh also you know that thing where people kept criticizing me cuz technically grindelwald's "evil" plan was to prevent the holocaust? Rowling: well good news Rowling: i've rectified that little mistake
Rowling: like, why would the naziss target transs & queer people, traditionally the most powerful and widely accepted memberss of ssociety? Rowling: would not the naziss, famouss for their love of diverssity, actually approve of them? Rowling: i'm jusst asskin questions
King: actually joanne there's a lot of well-documented evidence Barker: give it up steve King: no no i can fix this King: i'm sure if i just lay out the facts in a logical, well-reasoned manner- Barker: oh god that's so cute Barker: don't you just love him? Poe: that's our steve
King: so you see the nazi book burning of the institute for sexualwissenschaft- Rowling: nope Rowling: didn't happen King: King: well it kinda did, see, as i was saying- Rowling: thiss iss missogyny
Rowling: i don't undersstand you lot at all Rowling: i come into your campfire, i make a sstatement that i really want to be true & you all refuse to accept it Rowling: thiss issn't the way it works over with my terf deatheaters at all Rowling: they love accepting things i ssay!
Rowling: it'ss actually really missogynisstic that you all refusse to accept what i'm ssaying asss truth Rowling: even though you all know how badly i want it to be true King: but joanne, it isn't true- Rowling: ssave it for court ssteve!
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers Shelley: i got here late wot's going on? Barker: joanne is doing holocaust denial Rowling: EXCUSE ME it'ss only holocausst denial if you quesstion the murder of jews Rowling: tho now that i think about it i do have some questionss
Rowling: like, would they not have ussed their goblin magic to essscape? Lovecraft: ya know, she makes a good point Sonia Greene: i'm right here howard Lovecraft: Greene: see, this is why i don't talk much
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