how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp
i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand
many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you
also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)
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It's insane to me that this entire "debate" (if it can even be called that) is literally just
trans people, jewish people, black people literally everyone who has been hurt by bigotry: hey please don't spend $70 on a game about pro-slavery and fascism when a lot of that money will go to its creator who is publically bigoted and uses her massive amounts of wealth to fund the eradication of marginalized groups
and the response to that was: fuck you why can't you just let people enjoy things, harry potter personally saved my life
like. it's extremely telling that so many people value their own entertainment and nostalgia over the lives of others. jkr is such a horrible, despicable person and literally all people are saying is that yeah you shouldn't be giving a modern day nazi that much money when they constantly bring people to the alt right and donate that money to every anti-human rights organization you could think of.
and no i don't think sending people death threats is okay but at the same time, you don't get to act surprised, defensive, or victimized when people call you out for giving money to a fucking nazi.
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I really don't understand this whole "queer is a slur" discourse here on Tumblr. like, if I make a post about queer people, I mean queer people. if you don't identify as queer? cool, that post isn't about you. if I wanna talk about lsbtqia+ people I'm gonna say that.
and yet, everytime there's a post about queer people, someone will go onto the post and tag it as q slur or tell the OP that queer is a slur. that is disrespectful.
like, I fully agree, if you don't want to be called queer then no one should call you that. of course I'll respect that. but people always feeling as if I was talking about them when I talk about queer people doesn't help.
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i hope that in the wake of predstrogen/predesterone's back-to-back deletion we don't forget about the ongoing building wave of seemingly organic transmisogyny from the userbase leading up to it, some of which may or may not have been the result of terf psyops but all of which certainly wouldn't have been possible without the eager participation of a significant proportion of users, including but probably not limited to:
the entire concept of transandrophobia (if this offends you, think long and hard about why you want so badly for it to be real)
the ongoing backlash against the terms tme and tma (if they offend you, think long and hard about why they might have practical value to trans women and people with similar social positionality)
the ongoing trend of trans women's blogs getting flagged on the flimsiest of pretenses and generally receiving far more scrutiny for "adult content" than anyone else's
the seeming unironic revival of "baeddel" as a slur for outspoken trans women, on the basis of a long-dead clique that, ironically enough, self-applied the long-dead (and tbf, etymologically questionable) slur from the middle ages to reclaim it
the entire "trans women should be fucking trans men instead of complaining about transmisogyny" genre of post
the backlash when tgirls finally started calling out the aforementioned bullshit
the copypasted anons sent to several trans women (many of whom were lesbians) sexually harassing them and threatening corrective rape for calling out the aforementioned bullshit
the backlash when tgirls called the aforementioned bullshit sexual harassment
the expansion of flexible queer label use (which to be clear, i am generally all for) to include "afab trans women", muddying the waters and making transmisogyny harder to articulate
the backlash when tgirls started calling out the aforementioned bullshit
the aita incident in which a trans woman described a cis woman claiming to be a trans woman in a group chat and giving other trans women terrible medical advice based on no actual qualifications or experience, and got a huge backlash for warning them about the aforementioned bullshit despite the stakes of, you know, following terrible medical advice
everything from the sixth point onward happened within the past... week? two weeks? my sense of time is a bit fuzzy. who knows what the rest of this week has in store?
people on this website are so incredibly hostile to trans women even being able to name our own oppression, let alone resist it in any concrete way. and i know it's not just this website. don't you get tired of the crab bucket bullshit? holy fucking shit.
like, i've been lucky, i've overwhelmingly managed to dodge it (probably on account of frankly being a pretty boring and inconsistent poster). this time last year, i was actually bored that i didn't have anons in my inbox to argue with. but i've seen it happen to so many other women now, it's absurd. even if it never hits you personally, you can never shake the awareness that it's happening to so many of the cool girls on here, people you like and whose posts you laugh at and who you look up to. they just kinda seem to drop like flies over time. don't you get tired?
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Midnight Pals: Spicy Stories
JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh
Poe: oh joanne
Poe: you're back
Rowling: i have concernss
Poe: uh we're mostly about just telling stories here
Poe: you have your own campfire for your terf stuff don't you?
Rowling: yess but they've really been getting on my nervess lately
Rowling: you know how it iss with terf deatheaterss
Poe: not really
Rowling: alwayss agreeing with everything i ssay
Rowling: all "oh yes dark lord" this and "oh spare me dark lord" that
Rowling: ssometimess you jusst get tired of hearing "masterful gambit dark lord"
Rowling: i tell you, you don't know how hard it is to run a cult
L Ron Hubbard: oh yeah woof big mood
Hubbard: people think its all fun, but its actually a lot of work
Rowling: I know right????
Poe: regardless, joanne, i'm going to have to put my foot down
Poe: this campfire is just for stories
Rowling: uhhh actually i do have a new ssstory
Rowling: i wass insspired to write after having an argument on the internet
Barker: oh damn no shit?
Barker: that's wild
Rowling: it's a new harry potter ssstory
King: oh man! it's about time, i've been hoping for a new potter story for ages!
Rowling: itss about hermione going back in time to help grindelwald, who actually had sssome good points if you think about it
Rowling: i call it
Rowling: the time turner diariesss
Barker: wow this is not really funny anymore
Baker: its like INTENSELY not funny
Lovecraft: catchy title tho!
Rowling: i'm retconning grindelwald into a misundersstood idealisst
Rowling: who was only forced to make hard choicess because of the unreassonablenesss of decadent weimar society
Rowling: oh also you know that thing where people kept criticizing me cuz technically grindelwald's "evil" plan was to prevent the holocaust?
Rowling: well good news
Rowling: i've rectified that little mistake
Rowling: like, why would the naziss target transs & queer people, traditionally the most powerful and widely accepted memberss of ssociety?
Rowling: would not the naziss, famouss for their love of diverssity, actually approve of them?
Rowling: i'm jusst asskin questions
King: actually joanne there's a lot of well-documented evidence
Barker: give it up steve
King: no no i can fix this
King: i'm sure if i just lay out the facts in a logical, well-reasoned manner-
Barker: oh god that's so cute
Barker: don't you just love him?
Poe: that's our steve
King: so you see the nazi book burning of the institute for sexualwissenschaft-
Rowling: nope
Rowling: didn't happen
King:
King: well it kinda did, see, as i was saying-
Rowling: thiss iss missogyny
Rowling: i don't undersstand you lot at all
Rowling: i come into your campfire, i make a sstatement that i really want to be true & you all refuse to accept it
Rowling: thiss issn't the way it works over with my terf deatheaters at all
Rowling: they love accepting things i ssay!
Rowling: it'ss actually really missogynisstic that you all refusse to accept what i'm ssaying asss truth
Rowling: even though you all know how badly i want it to be true
King: but joanne, it isn't true-
Rowling: ssave it for court ssteve!
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers
Shelley: i got here late wot's going on?
Barker: joanne is doing holocaust denial
Rowling: EXCUSE ME it'ss only holocausst denial if you quesstion the murder of jews
Rowling: tho now that i think about it i do have some questionss
Rowling: like, would they not have ussed their goblin magic to essscape?
Lovecraft: ya know, she makes a good point
Sonia Greene: i'm right here howard
Lovecraft:
Greene: see, this is why i don't talk much
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