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neiptune · 2 years

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aot boys x reacting to a dream where you die

a/n: inspired by @meowzfordayz and her wonderful hcs! got a bit carried away lol these are too long but i hope you enjoy anyway :)

eren secretly freaks tf out but is too embarrassed to admit it. you wake up to the pressure of his hands not so subtly traveling across different parts of your belly and hips, the coolness of his fingertips on your bare skin making you shiver. “eren? what're you doing?” you ask, confused, your own hands closing around his wrists to delicately move them away. but he resists your push, his fingers stubbornly finding their way to the familiar albeit faded scar residing right above your hip bone. “sorry. didn't mean to wake you” his voice cracks, which is enough to prompt you to sit up. “tell me what's wrong” you take one of his hands and squeeze twice, your secret way to communicate that everything's fine. eren's big eyes search for signs of distress or pain in yours but all he finds is genuine concern and grogginess. he relaxes and weakly squeezes your hand right back. “bad dream. it's stupid, let's just go back to sleep” but of course you see right through his fake composure and pull him in for a hug, gently hushing the trembling exhale that tickles your neck as his arms close around you. “you're okay” he whispers to himself and you hum in confirmation, nodding against his shoulder. “i am. the only thing truly hurting me is your snoring”. he huffs at that, covertly thankful you're still there to give him a reason to roll his eyes

lol armin will not be there when you wake up in the middle of the night, senses alert bc of the unusually cold, empty spot next to you. he doesn't reply when you call him so you're forced to get up and explore the whole floor, bathroom to study, until you hear some muffled sniffling coming from downstairs and you rush to the living room, heart in your throat. “armin??? are you okay? what happened??” he's curled into himself on the couch but as he hears your voice he lifts his head, heavy groan crawling up from his throat because what the fuck, why are you awake? he hates hates hates the idea of you seeing him like this for the nth time, always so stupid and helpless now with tear stained cheeks too for something that's not even real. “nothing” his defensive tone startles you and he regrets it immediately, sigh heavy as he tiredly rubs his temples, a sign of surrender and vulnerability that draws you in until you're sitting next to him, warm hand closing on his knee. “what if i brew some tea? we still have some cookies left” you speak gently and his gaze softens, guilt already bubbling in the pit of his stomach. “it's 2am” “and?” “you have to work tomorrow” “and??”. so he ends up brewing the tea instead and you simply won't talk about what happened until the next morning, after a fair amount of the night before was spent sharing homemade peanut butter cookies with armin taking your hand to press gentle kisses to your wrist from time to time <3

oh my god jean 100% feels too stupid to mention it or letting a dumb dream upset him once he's awake and can physically see you and touch you as you're making breakfast together, he's also too proud to admit how horrible it felt to see your body get so rigid, your skin too cold, eyes void of their usual light. so he doesn't mention it. but you can tell something is off: he's more attentive than usual (when has he ever pushed you away from the toaster bc you might bet burned?) he's extremely touchy-feely (more than usual lol it's fine for him to have his arms wrapped around you as you're rinsing a fork but not letting go? not even allowing you to turn off the stove, at the expense of his precious eggs, now at risk of charring??) so of course your spider senses detect that something isn't quite right and you interrogate him over breakfast, just as he casually plays with your fingers and quite uncomfortably tries to eat with his left hand. “what d'you mean i'm being weird? that how you accept my unconditional love?” he has you rolling your eyes a number of times before he shrugs with a “had a nightmare last night, no biggie” “did something happen to me?” “yeah, no need to take the piss, i know it's dumb”. a fond smile tugs at the corners of your lips as you shrug as well. “wasn't gonna take the piss. if something happened to you in one of my dreams, i'd probably freak out” “oh thank god” jean forces you up from your chair in a split second and pulls you in the tightest hug in recorded history lol

well connie will definitely blurt it out and attempt to downplay it at the same time lmao don't even get me started you'll wake up and he'd be in the kitchen making coffee greeting you with something like “g'morning! btw i dreamed you died last night hahaha isn't that so stupid??? you were dead dead, like R.I.P you, right in my arms” and you're standing there like 🤨🤨🤨 “i'm glad you thought that was funny?” “so funny, i even cried a little when i woke up haha you were sleeping right next to me and i was tearing up like a dumbass omg did i mention how still you were???” his emotional responses are all sorts of fucked up tbh. connie doesn't always know how to react to things and unexpected situations and complicated feelings bc he's so used to being the cheerful comic relief but somewhere underneath all the sunshine he carries around there's actual fear. connie is actually scared, all the time. of the ocean, of loneliness, of losing those who are dear to him, of being too much and not nearly enough at the same time. he has his own ways of dealing with fear and they're not always ideal. so you delicately take the clutched phone from his hands and peck his lips once, twice, each kiss lasting longer than the former until he takes your face in his hands and just keeps it there, forehead resting on yours. “i'm here. and you're a stupid idiot for calling yourself a dumbass”. he chuckles at that, which makes you smile. “promise you'll stay alive long enough to call me a stupid idiot a million more times?” “yes, if you wash the dishes”

i mean of course levi is mad. lol. at himself, bc he was not able to protect you in his dream and at you bc where tf are you??? he's petrified sitting up in (a very much empty) bed, mentally gives himself 3 seconds before he allows irrational panic to kick in but thank fuck you flush the toilet 1,5 seconds later, wash your hands and come back to your shared bedroom to find the grumpy man you're in love with glaring daggers your way, scowl so deep you hesitate by the door, silently wondering what you did wrong. were you being so tossy and turny you woke him up? did you take more than your share of blankets? did you accidentally punch him in the face? (it has happened and he was surprisingly nice about it lol). “i'm sorry” you blurt out, cautious as you climb onto your bed again, slipping your legs underneath the covers. “what are you apologizing for?” his voice sounds weird, which freaks you out even more. “not sure” you tilt your head “but you look mad”. levi huffs, features softening. “was it sleep kicking? or did i fart? you know edamame gives me real bad gas—” “you did not fart” he runs a hand through his hair, simultaneously exhausted and biting back an incredulous smile. “you died” he blurts it out but saying it out loud sucks so badly that he clenches his fists and you don't really know how to react. “i couldn't do shit about it. you just died. t'was horrible and i know it's not your fault and it was just a dream but...” “i'm sorry i died” your soft reply interrupts his babbling and prompts another snort. “stop apologizing” “what can i do, then?”. levi inspects your features attentively and takes your hand underneath the covers, intertwining his fingers with yours. “promise you won't do it again” he goes along with your silliness and you smile, nose rubbing against his, barely audible whisper of a “promise” before kissing him

porco will never and i mean never tell you what's up lmao his dumbass would rather die than admit a dream has had the power to affect him at all. he's a grown up™ and rational™ enough to discern reality from fantasy and guess what?? his current reality = you roaming around the house to cook, do the laundry, jokingly mock his housework skills as he vacuums rooms missing entire spots and breaks yet another glass in the sink (“stfu the sponge was too damn soapy it slipped” ) but honestly? porco doesn't even notice how much he stares the day after his nightmare. not just in the morning, he literally can't cast his eyes away from you for the entire day. he's 12 so as soon as you mention it he gets defensive lol like you'll be on the couch with your legs on his lap as he watches something on his laptop, you're reading a book and you'll say something along the lines of “ya know you've been staring a lot today” and he'll automatically reply “yeah?? cuz you're ugly” which only confirms your hunch. “don't be an ass, why were you staring??” “just told you?” “porco” “that's my name, don't wear it out” he's so infuriating honestly but eventually your persistence does wear him down enough to elicit one true response: “because i wanted to make sure you're actually here”. you tilt your head, confused frown that makes him bite back a smile. “what does that even mean?? where else would i be? are you high?” “high on you, babe” lmao yeah he won't tell you how horrible and scary and wrong it was to see your body get so still and your eyes suddenly unwilling to open and your hands not squeezing his back no matter how much he screamed and called for you and cursed and cried. why would he? porco can discern reality from fantasy. as you jokingly poke his side with your sock-clad foot and laugh as he grabs it to nibble at your ankle, he's grateful af for his reality :)

reiner instantly wakes you up lol he's too shaken to think straight and can't handle the pounding of his heart nor the cold sweat coating his forehead tbh. you freak out as well bc he looks like shit so you think he's not feeling well -> it's 30 entire seconds of back and forth (“are you okay?” “are you okay??” “why are you shaking???” “why are you sweating????”) until you can sense his stress is about to grow into a full on anxiety attack and you take his giant, cold, clammy hands in yours, squeezing hard enough to ground him. “baby, breathe with me. i'm right here, okay? just like that. deep and slow”. it doesn't matter that he squeezes back hard enough to hurt you. “you're doing great! wanna count with me?”. he closes his eyes and you both count to ten out loud, three times before he looks at you again and the crude fear that was in his gaze is long gone, leaving space to relief and slight embarrassment. “don't apologize” you cut him off right as his lips part “are you okay? can you wait for me? i'll go grab some water and—” he interrupts you right back by slotting his mouth to yours, with a kiss so feverish your brain shortcircuits. deaf to your protests, he will keep murmuring nonsense against your lips, an endless progression of i'm sorry, you're fine, i'm sorry, i love you, thank god, i love you so much. when you're allowed to catch your breath at last he presses one last kiss to your forehead and you're finally able to connect the dots. much like armin, he doesn't enjoy being so weak and emotional so often around you, but he also knows you feel strongly about him being so hard on himself. you won't have it. so reiner silently accepts and is oh so grateful for each sweet reassuring word you whisper to the shell of his ear, knowing all too well that nightmares have nothing on your i'm here and i'm never leaving and i know i'm safe with you

#aot #eren yeager headcanons #eren x reader #armin arlert headcanons #armin x reader #jean kirschtein headcanons #jean x reader #connie springer headcanons #connie x reader #reiner braun headcanons #reiner x reader #levi ackerman headcanons #levi x reader #porco galliard headcanons #porco x reader #listen i wanted these to be fun and bubbly like the other ones i've written #so i'm sorry they didn't come out like that i guess #i also know they're wayyyyy too long to be considered hcs but eh

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sleepyghoster · 2 months

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Still tweaking, I have come to the conclusion that I actually hate most things about mha and it's fandom except it's vigilante/villain/support course deku fics. I hate a lot of the designs , I hate most of the fans, and I HATE the creator. There is no reason for him to be drawing all the female students in pros in revealing outfits while no male characters are designed like that.

Thank you non-existent people who read my 6 am rant, I needed to scream this into the void because the hatred in my bones was making it hard to sleep

Hagakure being completely naked is so unnecessary especially when we know making clothing that adapts to quirks like mirios hero costume. Why isn't she just in a suit that has the ability to turn invisible with her??? Why tf is she completely naked when fighting and no one stops her for her own safety????

Another unnecessarily revealing costume is Momo's, with quirk technology she could 100% have a costume that is someone how infused with her DNA to give her the ability to create thing on the fly and be much safer and effective. Even without that she could have a much more covering outfit for her own safety and dignity.

Minetas existence as a whole should have ever happened.

Onto pros, there's such a clear difference between how the male pros are designed personality and costume wise vs how the female characters are. The female pros are usually shown as sexual in some way along with being passive aggressive towards the other female pros simply because they're competition(that one interview) The overall lack of character depth for the female characters in general is crazy.

So many of the fans are fujoshis and general weirdos over the TEEN characters and I've seen so so many mischarcterizing all the characters to make them look better or worse then they actually are. And ofc my avid bakugo hate, the root of my hate prob comes from the fans due to how they acted back in 2020 and are still acting now. People always try making excuses for his behavior towards others instead of just admitting that he was a horrible asshole at one point but he's had character growth and i can see that but the way people just try to act like it never happened or try to say that izuku doesn't even care about the fact he bullied him is genuinely infuriating. Realistically there is no way that being bullied throughout elementary and middleschool doesn't effect izuku in some way, overall I don't truly hate bakugo but I hate his fans.

#mha #anti bakugo #anti horikoshi #give women depth pls #rant post #rant #the issue lies in society as a whole #sleep is calling me #i need to take my meds #help #im gonna rejoice when the final chapter releases #keep dropping banger vigilante izuku fics tho

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zeroducks-2 · 2 months

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Has anyone made a compilation of Barry being put in compromising position be it in a cover or in the issue itself? I'm trying to see something. For research.

Making a thorough compilation of every time Barry was put in a compromising position is just impossible because it happens in EVERY SINGLE STORY. There are some worse than others sure, but sometimes it's so diffuse that you can't go five pages without seeing him tied up suggestively, or held down sensually, or chained in a very kinky way.

I'm going to mostly focus on covers here because even just one single issue would make me fill tumblr's imagine limit lmao

Starting with this one cause it cracks me up. Digger isn't even the antagonist in that one. And baby looks so cute I mean look at him 🥺

The other speedster is August, AKA Godspeed. There's quite a few instances in Lightining Strikes Twice in which it gets very rapey between them.

like here.

Pretty sure if this was a vertigo edition, rape would have been implied even more heavily.

Here's another for the series "Barry being carried around by people". Adam was a gentleman with him anyway so compromising but for once not rapey!

Some Coldflash had to be included in the collection of course.

This storyline is pretty fun, here have a panel:

Sandoval draws him too bulky but GOD HE'S SO CUTE CHAINED UP NHGBJGHN

This one is from Venditti's run and guys I promise the ENTIRE issue is chock full of rapey scenes. Look at this shit

Why is he tied up with his legs spread open helppppp

This one is with Tarpit. Unexpected. But why tf not am I right (Santa does not approve of your bullshit Tarpit)

And of course I couldn't skip the gangbang cover of Gorilla Warfare.

Finishing up with some Eobarry because I can't not include some Eobarry, panel from The Flash Age. I am not too fond of the artstyle here, but something about this panel is just perfect. They look frozen in time. And they also look like they're having se-

#my asks #I hope you had fun anon #barry allen #and his harem of problematic insane men

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leonenjoyer69 · 4 months

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Goopy and non goopy version bc idk which I like more, BUT!!!! THEY GUY!!! HARRY!! HE GOT CONTROL :3 also the "I am me" is a Chonny Jash reference (from the soul eclectic, bc as I've mentioned I draw a good few things from Soul for him)

Ngl I kinda,,, don't really like coloring, especially shading, least favorite part of the art process, but I kinda ate this up, especially once I started throwing in the gradients 🗣️🗣️ still took me forever tho lmao, I hate color theory.

(Also, tysm @lesbianturrets for hyping me up about the pose, you're so cool, ily 🫵🫵🫵)

Anyways!! Other version below the cut, along with a bit of lore drop

So yeah, he gains control while barricaded in his office, after Jekyll mixes the wrong salts into a single vial he was able to find. Harry freaks tf out upon gaining control, though he doesn't have much time to as Lanyon breaks into the office and such. Of course the first thing Lanyon questions is the HUGE mess and the fact that Jekyll looks different, to which Harry says it was from a potion falling on him, which is quite believable in this situation. They talk and Harry eventually leaves the office to go fix everything, giving Frankenstein a sort of "I'll explain later" look. Well, he does seem to successfully fix everything, albeit a bit suspiciously, but he does it!

Anyways, I need to lore dump more on him on an actual text post later, bc I've got a lot of things I've cooked up while talking with @dustmint >:3 that'll come later tho bc I've gotta figure out how I wanna format/write all that

(Edit, very sick of my tumblr screwing up the composition of my posts 😍😍 why do you keep getting rid of my cuts and scattering my images I'm gonna lose it)

#oc: “whole” jekyll #the glass scientists #tgs #jekyll and hyde #i hope yall aint getting sick of the OC art and lore bc I'm not gonna stop lmao #shout out to that one comment “like the art. hate the idea” bc i think about that a lot and it really fuels me to keep making oc stuff #that comment is /gen so funny #i create bc of autistic hyperfixations - the people that like my stuff - and out of spite <3 i cannot be stopped #my art #henry jekyll #chonny jash

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lizzyscribbles · 1 month

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I have so many thoughts I literally just want to get out there about MHA because I don’t currently have someone who’s like, as into it as I am. So here I am, to scream my thoughts into the wind since I can’t draw for shit and have a hard time writing fanfics. I want to participate in the fandom somehow damn it. 😂

Tonight’s thought/Ramble: Touya Todoroki.

Now, I worked in foster care for a while, I worked with a lot of abused and traumatized children. It was hell, tbh, but that’s a story for another day so stay with me. One thing I learned from that and my time studying psychology in college is that abuse can literally change the chemistry of your brain. One thing we used to be told where I worked was that, when it came to the kids we took care of, we had to think of them as half the age they were (not as an insult, but more for when thinking of solutions or trying to reason with them).

So, with that in mind, Touya really starts to make way more sense to me. ESPECIALLY when you put together that he was in a coma FOR THREE YEARS. He basically lost three whole ass years of vital development on top of all that.

Because like, I look at him at first and go “why tf would you try to kill the rest of your family when your parents were the problem, why go after the other victims?”

Because he’s effectively a vindictive child/teenager, that’s why. Deep down, he WANTED to be acknowledged and seen and loved by his father, and what does a child who was never given healthy attention do to get that? They act out. They don’t know the difference between negative attention and positive attention, or maybe they do and they just don’t care.

In the end, Touya/Dabi just wants his dad’s love and attention like he always has, no matter what form it takes.

(And boy do I have so much to say about Endeavor and his arc but that’s also a rant for another night).

#mha thoughts #mha spoilers #kind of #my hero academia #touya todoroki #I love this show #mha dabi #bnha #mha manga spoilers #again kind of #I had lots spoiled about this show so I’m being careful #Lizzy’s MHA Rambles

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porcupine-girl · 1 month

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I had the weirdest possible Check Please dream.

Ngozi was going to do another volume, and we were all excited because Shippy and Taylor were finally going to get together.

Who tf are Shippy and Taylor you might ask?

Shippy, I immediately realized upon waking up, is Tater, but in this dream world somehow he got a different nickname and I don’t even know how. Idk if my brain was just like “he’s part of this popular ship and I’m lazy” or “Tater and Taylor would sound too cutesy and I really want this girl to be named Taylor for some reason” or what.

Taylor was not Vanessa with a different name. She had spiky lavender hair that looked a bit like this animal crossing hairdo:

But longer, like if it were lying flat it’d be about chin length, and of course in Ngozi’s drawing style.

I didn’t find out much more bc I woke up due to my husband getting up to get ready for work, but somehow when I got back to sleep, for once my brain deigned to continue my dream from before. It is apparently very invested in Shippy/Taylor (although after I woke up and realized Shippy was Tater my brain went back and forth between the two names).

So in the continuation, I learned that Taylor was already dating another member of the Falconers (I’m not sure I ever got his name), but he was very controlling and emotionally abusive and everyone on the team was hoping she’d leave him and kind of shunning the boyfriend socially due to his behavior.

Tater ran into her in like… a mall food court sort of location? And somehow their conversation led to him confessing his feelings but saying that it was fine if she didn’t want to be with him, just begging her to leave the controlling guy and saying he’d help her however he could just as her friend. She was clearly not quite ready to leave yet, but then her boyfriend called and when she said oh I’m at the mall and I ran into Tater so we were just hanging out he got really pissed that she was hanging out with another guy (in a totally public location, and being honest about it) without him and demanded she come home right away. And when she hung up you could see that having that conversation right after the conversation with Tater was kind of making her realize that she really did need to get out of it.

Tater saw that too and jumped on it, like “If you don’t want me to help I’ll call Jack and Bitty (which my brain then corrected to Zimmboni and Little B, it was like my brain was like helloooo this is Tater unlike you Ngozi would write him correctly) right now and they will come help you get your stuff, you can stay in their guest room, they would love to help.” And she was kind of mortified by this, like oh god does the entire team know??? And he was like, well. Yeah. Kinda. Everyone’s rooting for you to leave him, that’s why nobody talks to him or hangs out with him outside practice, we all know how awful he is. And she was like oh god, great, everyone knows how stupid I am for staying with a guy like him, but Tater was like no no no everyone knows how hard it is to leave that kind of thing but we all know you’re strong enough to do it as soon as you decide you’re ready.

And that was about as far as I got in the Shippy/Taylor saga before I woke up for good. I can only assume Jack and Bitty did come get her and let her stay with them, and eventually once she was over the nasty breakup she got together with Tater.

What’s really funny was that when I went to start writing this post I couldn’t remember her name, only that it started with a T and was like 6-ish letters long. I started the post calling her Tricia and was like no that’s not right, so I googled girl names that start with T and was just hoping that if I read enough lists of names something would click and maybe I’d recognize it if I saw it. Then I opened the first list and the very first name was Taylor and I was like OH RIGHT MY BRAIN NAMED HER AFTER TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT HOW DID I FORGET THAT??

#omgcp #alexei mashkov #zimbits #but only in the background lol #if I wrote this it would be like my third or fourth fic based on a dream lmao #but I doubt anyone would be interested in a Tater/OFM fic #pg irl

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dreamersville · 1 year

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heyyy boo🥹🩷 can you do like some hcs or drabbles on how the hashiras would come home to you sleeping at night after a long misson🙏🏾🙏🏾 like maybe they try to like slip in the bed and reader wakes up??...or not- whatever come to your beautiful mind really😩.

preferably with tengen, sanemi, and mitsuri 🤭

thank youuuu❤️❤️

an? im soooo soo sorry about mitsuri missing, the blanks i was drawing when i seen her name is really insane and thats why it took so long for this to come out ..but she still not in the post..ANYWAYS i hope this was to your liking my love💜 and again i am very sorry for the wait, request are open

pairings? tengen black reader, sanemi x black reader

tw? cursing, mention of a fall lmk if there is anything else

Tengen — walks in the kitchen/dining area where you were laying at a desk, head in your hands, in what looks like an uncomfortable position. Ink spots on your hands and now face. From the scattered paper on the desk and the numerous ink spots around the desk, he can conclude that you were writing him a letter, again. He walks up to you snorting as you shift to lay your head right next to some ink, quickly stepping in set on stopping your head from touching the ink spot. You nuzzle your face into his hand more chasing the warmth from it. He uses his other hand to brush your braids back from your head, taking a quick glance around the table to see where your bonnet is. Gathering the braids in his hand he maneuvers you better so he could wrap them in the bonnet. Wrapping your braids so that he could place your bonnet on your head, giving your forehead a kiss when he is finished. Makio is probably standing in the doorway watching the scene with soft eyes, a blanket thrown over her shoulder with the intention to place it around your shoulders. She comes over and gives you and tengen a kiss on the cheek, places the blanket over your body as you turn around to curve into tengens body. You always take it the hardest when tengens goes out on these long missions so your wives take it upon themselves to pay more attention to you to make sure that you are okay. Tengen knows this also so you're the first one he seeks out when coming home from a mission. It's in moments like these where he feels lucky to have all of you. You stir in your sleep mumbling about “why tf your gumbo taste like that?” girl- Tengen smiled to himself as he readjust his hold on you as he picks you talking to your yall room so that he could lay you down with the rest of his wives. You shuffle under the covers, scooting closer to Suma looking to replace the warmth you just lost. Tengen maneuvers everyone so that he is in the middle with two on his left and two on his right, extending his arms out so that he could embrace his wives all at once, relaxing once he's sure that you all are all here and accounted for. Releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding in, he hums as he is lulled into a gentle sleep.

Sanemi — comes in from a long mission with a jittering feeling under his skin. Although he's been on longer missions than this one this was the first time he was coming back to you. Discarding his shoes and most of his clothes at the door, he intends to go take a shower knowing how much you dislike “the smell of outside” whatever tf that is, but he wouldn't wanna be on your bad side when he just got back, so he is going to grumble his stinky ass through that good shower, coming out more relaxed than expected. Slightly rushing now that he finally finna be able to get you back in his arms. In his rush he trips over a shirt that you must have taken off before you got in the bed, in a haste to catch himself, he does some of move so that most of the impact from the fall is more so towards left side trying to be as quiet as possible. rolling onto his stomach, he sees your toes mere inches away from his face. You were just going to use the bathroom, you didn't expect to see sanmei there on the floor. Still in your half sleep state you step around sanemi and county on your way to the bathroom. It is only when you're washing your hands and feel the water on your feet that you realize somebody `had used the shower recently but who? It was only you here .. you slowly open the door and see your husband still on the floor, now the dots are starting to connect.. You chuckled to yourself then went and helped him up eager to get him bed now that you realized he was finally back. As you are making an attempt to try and help sanemi, he jumps up and stares at you, until you run into his arms knocking him a few feet back as he has to stumble to fall on his ass again. Sanemi it's time to for you to go back to sleep, but you wouldn't relinquish him from your hold on him so he turn the bathroom light off, leaving the mess of water to dry up and makes his way to your bedroom, maneuvering into the bed in a way that doesn't disturb you since you decided that you were going to go back to sleep now that you had your man in your arms, adjusting you and himself so that you were being big spooned by him. You were laying on right arm while his left was slowly stroking up and down your leg, allowing himself to hold you before he drifts off the dream land

once again hoped you enjoyed my lovee <33. request are open

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p1nkm1lkslug · 3 months

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Just random things in the creeps fandom that keep me up at night:

That time I was desperate for more Frankie fics and made the grave mistake to look on wattpad and was then met with that oddly specific franki x LJ lemon that had me cringing so bad I physically couldn't finish it 💀

the duality of Isaac Lee Grossman he's either "rich, suger daddy, hot British accent, practically a dark romance love interest" Or "poor fucking orphan, eats cement😭, has the most " ELLO GOVNER " British accent, hates everyone, homophobic, rat man"

Will being a scene kid and creepy pasta fan boy (you guys remember that one audio "YOUR HERO'S WEAR CAPES OURS WEAR HOODS" Or drawing the proxy symbol? Yeah he would eat that shit upppp

Finding fungalzombies cosplay videos on YouTube (i desperately wanna do a Frankie cosplay)

Seeing little kids videos of there fan art to snuffbomb on YouTube (also fuck snuffbomb)

Obsession over people's creeps oc (NAH BECAUSE Y'ALL GET SO CREATIVE I'M EATING THAT SHIT AND I AM INVESTED PLEASE YAP TO ME ABOUT THAT SINGLE MOTHER WHO USED TO WORK FOR SLENDER MAN AND THE HOMOPHOBIC HOMOSEXUAL SON OF BEELZEBUB)

not enough talk about hook man idk why I just wish we saw more of him 😭

My question as to why tf jack wasn't with slender in the of comic? Like what happened-

Also on that note how tf do they know masky (also it was cheesecake!masky 💀)

frankie and how he got like 5 seconds of screen time and then got consumed by the void (the only ones left in this fandom)

Looking for fics on ao3 and was met with "Isaac Lee Grossman/will Grossman" 😭

The duality of isaac and LJ "there married and love each other :3" And "jack fucking ate him"

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta hcs #creeps comic #william grossman #creepypasta #frankie the undead #isaac grossman #will grossman #laughing jack

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definitelynotshouting · 3 months

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context: ik most of my asks are pretty disorganized, stream of consciousness type of thing but GEEZ this got out of hand. you know that thing cats do when they bring you a dead mouse and *they're* super proud of it and you're just like dude.. why /lh

i usually put whatever my immediate thoughts are after reading the chapter and this time i thought it might be fun to write it out before. can you tell im running on five hours of sleep?? lmk if this made any coherent sense because even i dont understand it!!

so last chapter ripped my heartt out and stomped on it. i am LIVING for the way this whole thing was written, gorgeous prose as always <3. i was very curious as to wether Mumbo would question Grian but i think him NOT doing that was SO in character, and i adore it. I feel like w/ some fics (my own writing included) Scar is the ONLY one Grian relies on for support (in ANY area), and whenever Mumbo is even in the picture, he's just kinda "there", he doesn't check up on Grian or broach the topic of whatever is currently plaguing our little bird guy (basically, he's not involved in Grian's life despite being "his best friend"). And the way you characterized him was just So Real?? I would wager a guess (correct me if im wrong ofc) that part of it is that he just DOESNT know, (because Grian is oh so good at telling half truths and privately justifying his self sabotage) but a part of it is also him being lowkey willfully ignorant. he doesnt WANT Grian to be sick (mentally or otherwise) but definetly knows that SOMETHING is up. he really WANTS to help fix whatever is going on (evident by the gold farm) but he doesnt know what Grian needs or how to help him.

i have been OBSESSING over how Grian saying goodnight to Mumbo was ACTUALLY his goodbye to him but Mumbo DOESNT KNOW AND ITS EATING ME ALIVE. (also thought it was super interesting how Grian sort of took Mumbo leaving to sleep as "permission" to do the deed)

side ish note: how tf does Grian even plan to do that?? ik he's got the spider eyes and i *think* he's planning to turn the healing potions into weakness potions but like?? how is he going to do that??? i would assume that the gang would be watching the potions AS they were brewing, and even if they weren't, healing potions and weakness potions are.... vastly different colors. (unless im mixing them up with something else). also aren't they going to walk in on him prepping or already being in the middle of it and just save him like last time? the team as a whole has done a pretty good job on keeping an eye on Grian (from just a "this person can't walk" standpoint) so far. is he waiting for a chance when everyone is busy or does he plan to use MORE weakness potions to make it stronger or quicker?? im interested to see if he's even going to follow The Plan, because up until this point he's been pretty careful with trying to make plans and sneak around EXCEPT for the spider eyes basement adventure, which makes me wonder is he'll get more frantic/desperate as the appointed time draws closer.

Real talk though, Mumbo (and everyone else) is going to be beating himself up over not noticing when stuff goes down (which i would assume would be next chapter, but idk). Also, the fact that Grian asked him to stay means A LOT. To me (and idk if this is what you meant to convey) that signals that a part of him WANTS to stay. theres a part of him that wants to continue to experience the comfort and joy he gets from his friends, but he feels like he's only going to continue to hurt them, so to him this is the ONLY option to keep them safe. also the majority of his existence is just misery and pain so thats probably not helping. (PLUS the whole slew of mental health issues, this is not purely self sacrificial).

anyway, i LOVED this chapter as always, it was like chicken noodle soup for my overworked little soul and i savored every bit of it!! (also, no need to apologize for not having enough spoons!! i dont have any chronic illnesses but i know that shit sucks. this is a particularly long ask for me so dont feel compelled to answer everything in it, or answer right away. hope ur doing well <3)

-🐛

BUG ANONNNN THIS COMMENT IS SO SWEET AND I LOVED READING IT OMGGGG

you hit the nail exactly on the head for where im going with mumbo's characterization-- there is 100% a level of willful ignorance there. Ive always felt like mumbo is the kind of guy who has a thing about avoidance-- he feels very much like a character who will absolutely do his best to ignore things that hes decided arent his business (right up until he stops LMFAO) and part of that in hunger au is him being so anxious for grian to get better that he stops looking at the red flags grian is aggressively waving around. It'll work out!! He's sure of it!! Grian even directly said he's trying to get better!! And i think if he looked at that for longer than it takes for him to flinch away from the entire subject, he would see how much of a bald lie that is.

But he doesnt, because thats a LOT to deal with, and hes never really??? Seen this side of Grian before??? Not the way Pearl and Scar have. Theres a lot of intricacy there that i feel im skimming over but like Mumbo is very much keeping his own sanity in mind here too and thats another painful factor to the whole situation. Idk i have lots of thoughts about it and about the choice here to depict Mumbo giving in to that willful ignorance, and how its going to affect his and Grian's relationship in the future of the fic

(Quick tw for frank discussions of suicide below)

You've also completely nailed the subtext i was getting at with Grian asking Mumbo to stay-- smth ive always felt is a bit underrepresented in narratives like these are how at its most base core, suicide and suicidal ideation are often about needing something to fundamentally change in your life. It takes a LOT of both hopelessness and sheer willpower to actively try and overcome your body's instinctive will to survive. That instinct is baked into our very cells; when someone commits, it means their hopelessness for meaningful change to happen in their lives was so strong it overpowered everything else. And that is something deeply, deeply tragic, and also something i really wanted to respectfully highlight in this portrayal-- how bad things are when you spiral that far. Grian is starving to death. He wasnt lying about maybe having a week to live-- the intermittent feeding has kept him alive longer than anticipated, but its like trying to wall off an avalanche; theres only so much you can do in the face of all that :( and that hopelessness, in combination with how guilty he feels for what he did to his friends, has manifested in him feeling like his only recourse is to kill himself... but at the same time, that instinct to survive and KEEP SURVIVING is still blaring in his veins, and that manifests as him asking Mumbo to stay. Its a bit paradoxical, but its meant to really show how bad his mental state is, that he is willfully ignoring all the frantic signals his body is screaming at him to try and stay alive rn 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also, with the potions-- without revealing too much about how this is going to happen, Grian is planning on making fermented spider eyes and using them to turn the healing potions into harming potions, which he'll then drink in the in-between to make sure he dies immediately. Now.. i know how this is gonna go, and i know the exact mechanics around how this is gonna shake out, but smth to keep in mind is hes not thinking logically anymore, he has FULLY capitulated to his own storm of emotional wreckage. So yes there are DEFINITELY some questions to be asked about how hes gonna try and get this done, but in all honesty they mostly boil down to "sheer opportunity" which you'll see a bit more of in the next chapter >:] but yeah its meant to be a bit illogical skdbwkdjskd since he just isnt thinking coherently anymore at this point :(

Bug anon thank u for my entire life this comment was so sweet and so wonderful to receive, i really love it when my writing is analyzed like this and seen and understood!!! Its amazing its such a wonderful feeling to have your work be seen like this and its something i very much do not take for granted :]]]❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ tysm for the ask i am seriously treasuring it SO MUCH rn (and also thank you for the well-wishes!! Im doing my best to stay silly out here HEHE)❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #compliments #suicide #cw suicide #just cause it gets real frank in the discussion of it #long post #txt

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cyber-neptune · 3 months

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Legalize being able to mess around with characters WHILE BEING AWARE that they're ooc.

Sometimes you just wanna share stuff you made up as an inside joke or just wanna try projecting some stuff as a way to cope or to try and express yourself without someone screaming at you for "Making them OOC".

I'm honestly so tired of this shit and I know Im no better for giving this dog shit situation more attention but for fuck sake.

I am AWARE my goofy headcanons/shitpost/whatever ARENT CANON / ARE OOC. You literally don't need to harass me over it.

"He wouldn't act like that"

I KNOW!! I FUCKING KNOW!!! I just wanna make up stuff and have fun with shitty parallel universe is it that fucking hard to understand or did you have a stick shoved up your ass since day one?!

I've been giving multiple explanations as to why I like making shitty things for fun yet no one seems to understand. So ill go ahead and say it here and hope people will get off my back about it.

Hi, my name is Zero and I make cringy fem Megatron content. I am well aware it isn't canon and aligns with next to nothing. I'm only making content for fun. This whole girl-Megs thing started as a joke and soon became something I enjoyed experimenting with. While you have the normal "everything is the same except Megatron is a girl lol" I decided to post my headcanons I made up for fun while being AWARE that they're fanon and ooc.

Like I mentioned, it's just for fun.

However, people decided to go ahead and harass me instead of doing the mature thing. Which is either

A) scroll past it

B) block me

This has been putting a lot of stress on my mental and emotional health. It's been messing with my self esteem because I'm a people pleaser who always tries to make things right even if it's something I don't enjoy.

Megatron is a comfort character for me and some sort of muse. I like drawing tfp Megs because he's one of the first tf character I learned to draw. I use him as a placeholder for a fan continuity/personal design.

This is one of the main reasons why a lot of headcanons/shitty takes dont make sense. Because im tailoring them to my own continuity.

I will now repeat myself;

I know my headcanons/shitposts aren't Canon.

'TFP Megatron' is a placeholder for my Megatron design im still working on.

I am aware what I write is insanely OOC.

Megatron is a comfort character and a muse for me.

This has done nothing but mentally fuck me up. I'm sincerely hoping this is the last time I have to speak up on this.

#rant #long post #megatron #Transformers #tfp #it's 3am and I'm mentally exhausted from all of this mess

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asmogorna · 6 months

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I can't recall if I have already asked you this or not, but were you the one who drew this?

(If so, then I need you to know that this is the best Will Wood fanart that has ever been made. Plus he would totally wear that.)

i'll tell you more. there's a prequel to this. and i have a huge history with this very art. grab your hot cocoa, your popcorn, or whatever else you consume when listening to a story..

NOW tbh this mf piece of art makes my heart sink every time i see it simply because the memories of the past still haunt me and theyre not lovely /hj

imagine, year 2023, (relatively) young asmogorna doesn't yet know how twitter can get when it comes to fandoms based around real people, and his friend gives him an idea

"i had a dream about will wood drawing hamilton yaoi" his friend said to him "you should draw that"

and draw that young asmo did

but then a funny teehee connection was created in asmo's head. "hey" he thought "you know what else is related to hamilton. miku binder."

and he, inspired by this truly humorous and silly idea, drew that very masterpiece, posting it on twitter later that day, with the caption "i am so sorry mr william wood". "oh what a splendid laugh me and me lads (mooties) shall have" asmo thought, as he closed the website

yet little did he know, that the next time he opens twitter its going to be multiple people jumping him and beating his ass in the qrts

"erm,, why are we drawing real life cis men in binders?? /neg /genq" they chanted

"will wood would KILL this person" they howled

" they preached, as they threw their torches and rotten tomatoes at stupid young asmogorna

he was shocked, truly shocked, for he did not expect such a backlash. the last thing he had in head is implying that mr william sunshine woodiam of the okultra is trans with his art, his mind blown by the amount of people misunderstanding his intentions, for he didnt even think about the intentions people would assume he had. "where tf did i ever say that this is a headcanon of any sort THIS DOESNT EVEN HAVE TO BE A BINDER FOR TRANS PPL WHAT ARE THEY ON" he mumbled softly to his friends, glancing at the raging crowd.

asmo shamefully deleted the post, wrote a public apology thread, and decided to throw the painting he put so much shits and giggles in out in the trash, forever forgetting his legacy....

but to be fr tho that shit was funny asf and im still mad at twitter for making me look like one of them tallyship mfs who headcanon real life people as .. anything really😭

will wood would scoff and giggle in disappointment at this MAX trust me his ass does NOT gaf

#i lowkey want to tag this as will wood but at the same time im not getting cancelled all over again

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strawberrysugasoba · 4 months

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update i am on 100.5 and i personally don’t think i’d be able to handle going through all this shit in 2018. just could not be me, i would be unhinged, feral, rip me out the cage- 100.5?! are we serious right now. to leave on that note with that weird ass episode, it’s a mid season break- who posts on a mid season break? that’s when you update your socials but genuinely these guys go crazy. rustyquillgamingpodcast i am coming for you. when i find friends who are committed to letting their freak fly and role play i will be you. can’t want to listen and fall asleep to that but i can’t because i still have to finish tma. do not get me wrong i love love love the special, but i would loose it in 2018!! and the winners of the rusty fear’s competition congrats those stories were scrumdilyisous i love that, but what is going on at the archives guys :0! i have so many thoughts on that as well because so much has happened, and i came in so blind.

i literally had no clue, not even an inkling as to what tma was about except for some pinterest meme mentionings when i was in a deep welcome to nightvale phase. since then i’ve tried to keep spoilers to a minimum but i love drawing so i was looking for inspo on pinterest.

does tim get better? is he cured of his contain of being an asshole? i thought they were all friends before (kind sorta) all that weird shit was going on which makes me also wonder why jon’s always dogging on martin. aren’t those two supposed to be in love, don’t they confess and get married in the institute and have freak babies? idk what’s going on with them. but sasha is really just dead, and the two sasha thing only lasted a season? i felt like it would have ate to draw that out more. and then elias is hot, i love psychopaths (not really, maybe, this is just jokes!!), yes you slay that man with a pipe. trap innocent people into being a part of your cult. serve cunt and don’t get your hands dirty, i love you. and jon, please get it tf together. i thought we were much stronger than this. i held out hope you’d be chill and just rolled with the punches but you’re a pussy jon. jon you’re a pussy and i need you doing more statements because martin is too pathetic at the end! i do love martin though, you stand up for your potential love interest and say fuck you to dickhead (the most sensible guy around) tim. lastly what is with all the jurgen leitner hate? i love him, he just wanted experience shit bro let the man live. i used to make potions in my bathroom so if you want to play pretend monster and have a book collection go ahead. like my guy is chill asf.

i feel like i’ve ranted enough but i feel bad for the people who experienced this as it was coming out. y’all would have had to lock me up!!

#the magnus archives #tma #episode100.5 #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #elias bitchard #elias bouchard #the unknowing #rusty quill #rusty quil gaming #jurgen leitner

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scoliosisgoblin · 6 months

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Do you still draw YB content? What do you think of day 4?

yeah I still draw yb, majority of my stuff is yb rn. I just mainly draw a human version of him

I'm not a patron to the creators (I don't fw them) so I can't play the game and have to go off of videos and spoilers, so here's my thoughts so far (SPOILERS OFC):

- love the point and click style they're going for, I enjoy those games a lot so I am biased

- I'm a fan of Peter letting yn walk around and explore things at their own pace. when I'm in a new home or a friend's place, I often need to be left alone to allow myself to settle in and tend to feel smothered if someone's always over my shoulder when exploring etc (it also reminds me of when I got my cats and left them to wonder around on their own)

- what the fuck are windows 🙏🙏🙏

- apparently you both sleep together if you do the kind route??? WHAT WHY. I HATE THAT. PETER IS REALLY OUT OF CHARACTER FOR THAT 💀💀💀 I always thought of him as the type of guy to want his first time to be special tf was that?? (I'm also asexual so obv I'm not exactly looking forward to that type of stuff)

- I find it cute when Peter's working, autism be damned my boy can type!!!

- it's also super cute he gave us the bigger room and kept the small room for himself. also are all the stuff in our room stolen from us or did he buy the same/similar stuff?

- I love Rat, hope she gets more love and attention going on in the game 🙏🙏🙏

- also apparently you get to vaguely see files of pictures he took of you and he refuses to show it to you for some reason? or maybe that's not day 4? idek I hate that, Peter would show it off if anything

- the end of day 4, abusive route, I kinda like that? it's very interesting to me, how he'd do all that. I hate that he make yn nude but what the fuck am I supposed to do about it 🗿

Conclusion: lot of things to love, the writing is still something I'm not a fan of though

#I just feel like it's all so rushed #Peter just feels so off and I get that it's “supposed to be like that cause it's a horror” or whatever #but that's literally going AGAINST HIS OWN LORE #and I KNOW it's a demo I'm just saying that the writing is KINDA....#I think the dialog is fine i just hate the pacing (coming from an impatient writer btw)#again though I'm just going off of spoilers and some videos I've seen #I'm happy with how things are going I guess I just wish it took more than 3 days to be kidnapped #I wish it didn't take 4 days to sleep with him #if you want me to explain anything more then go ahead and ask whatever :P #asks #peter yb #yb game #yb peter #your boyfriend peter #your boyfriend game #peter dunbar #Your boyfriend day 4

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 13 days

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s4 episode 7 thoughts

my very first thoughts: a CANCER MAN episode??? are we gonna get some backstory?? some CSM lore?!?!?

part of me is deeply curious, but part of me also wants agent time, so… hmm! i’m intrigued. my curiosity? it’s been piqued.

and the lone gunmen have been mentioned!!

author's note: woah... i was expecting a lot of things, but cancer man being a flop author was not one of them. it's kinda sad, but mostly just pathetic.

judgement aside, i actually really liked this episode. there are things i would change, but i thought it was super intriguing to see certain parts of what is hidden beyond the curtain, but never enough to fully satisfy you, which i do love about this show (even if it is occasionally infuriating). the multi-part structure was also an interesting and unique choice that worked well, but i do have some... questions on writing/character motives and if they were well-received. but you'll see what i mean in a bit.

a lot happened in this episode, which i shall begin to recount below!

OH! we open with a shakespeare quote!!! “for nothing can seem foul to those that win” oooookay i suppose that is relevant to our ciggy man. damn. couldn’t be me. a lot of things are foul to me. such as killing melissa.

we see a rat! a rat! cute little critter. oh. cancer man arrives, and is less cute. he's looking at some broken windows… damn, why is s4 so dark? i keep having to turn my brightness up. it's annoying!!

his lighter says “trust no one” omg… he’s so weird. just an overall strange fellow. seriously, who gets a custom lighter that says that? way to draw attention to yourself while trying to Not Do That.

so he’s opening a suitcase…. WHAT!! he is somehow listening to a bunch of conversations, including the “not everything is a dark labyrinth of conspiracy” one, which means he must have had bugs in all of the rooms where mulder and scully chat!!! who has time to sort through all of that audio content to find the juicy stuff?? probably his freak interns that i KNOW he keeps scattering about

okay, so he’s listening to a conversation now between the lone gunmen and mulder. frohike is freaked tf out, but mulder says no one would kill him because “you’re just a little puppy dog”. aww. that's a cute thing to say.

GAG!! the lone gunmen put on a special audio filter to hide their conversation, and CSM just pressed a button to totally ignore it, and turns to the camera with a smirk. EW! EW! creepy man. ugh, i can’t believe i paused and had to look at that awful creepy smirk for more than a few milliseconds.

oh my goodness, scully is also here during this conversation between the lone gunmen and mulder that we are listening to via CSM's technologically aided eavesdropping. frohike is saying he found stuff about cancer man, while cancer man loads what looks like a SNIPER RIFLE, and aims it out the window??? “what did you find?” “possibly everything”

GASP! i’m hooked. i DO want to know possibly everything.

(watching the intro and that scene where they burst in with the gun always gets me, but today it’s making me ache in my chest because of how beautiful they are. so feel free to psychoanalyze that)

frohike is describing trotsky’s assassination. this is an area of history i am weak in, so i am seated for my lesson. it is actually entirely unrelated to the plot at hand, and is just some frohike nerd lore, but that's cool, i like a dude who knows these things.

frohike says “he” (presumably CSM) appears on august 20th, 1940, in louisiana. and his father was a communist activist, executed for espionage before his son would walk!!! and his mother died of lung cancer before he could talk!

damn. tragic backstory for this fellow. he pretty much said "i know cigarettes killed my mom but i'm different"

he was sent to various orphanages where he spent his time reading and not making friends. then he went off the grid until a year and a half after the Bay Of Pigs. weird way of measuring time- before and after the Bay of Pigs

OH! we get more text… “part 1: things really did go well in Dealey Plaza” hmmm....

some army men are jogging, while another dude reads the manchurian candidate, saying he would rather read the worst novel ever written than the best movie ever made. he must not know about the novels that are out there… i assume this is cig man?

OH MY GOD! he’s talking to MR. MULDER! wait, wait that means….

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! his first word was JFK

that is... actually really adorable. and will make his toddler stage difficult as he has to break certain news to baby mulder.

why do i get the feeling, from the shaky way CSM just set the photo of mr. mulder’s wife and child down, that he is fighting suppressed romantic feelings for his buddy like the cold war depends on it? hmm....

these fancy looking men want to talk to the guy i assume is cancer man. they ask if he was involved in any of the big events from the early 1960’s, which he denies. you know, assassinations and whatnot.

oh! when they ask if his father was executed as a spy, he says his only regret is that “i was too young to throw the switch myself” which is kind of a crazy thing to say. "yes i never knew my dad but i wish it was me that killed him" is a wild hill to die on. but i guess this is what the 60's did to people.

OH! he also denies a cigarette when offered, saying he never touches them. well. some things went down between then and now, i assume. and hopefully, we shall gain a glimpse into what changed.

this general dude is yapping about extraordinary men and i assume he is referring to himself. and his father. and young CSM, too, can be an extraordinary man!

“communism is without a doubt the most heinous personification of evil mankind has ever confronted” <- said by a guy who likely fought the nazis, this is an absolutely crazy line... but again, i guess that shows how deep everyone was into the propaganda

they are offering baby CSM a very important job… so important, his army service will be erased… he needs to assassinate an american civilian, former naval pt-boat commander…

OH MY GOD, DID HE KILL JFK???

this is wild. how many different characters across various medias have been responsible for killing JFK? does anyone have a spreadsheet? if not, DM me and let’s make one

so what is the reason in universe for why JFK had to kick the bucket….

because of the bay of pigs failure??

i get it was bad, but i didn’t think it was THAT bad. that makes no sense though timeline wise… they said bay of pigs was “last week”, but that was 1961, and obviously he didn’t get shot until 1963. so are we expected to believe that they waited 2 years to kill him? 2 years in which a lot of stuff happened? or is this some sort of factual oversight i’m supposed to ignore. or am i misunderstanding the episode structure. did i mishear/read a line?

(digs my claws in) you guys i cannot ignore a JFK anachronism i’m sorry

and now we're off to texas to witness the inevitable. this dude playing lee harvey oswald is lowkey cute, a thing i never thought i would have typed more than a few minutes ago. CSM yells at him about how smoking is BAD!

baby cancer man is talking to lee harvey oswald (another wild sentence), telling him he’ll see the president today. he calls baby cig man “mr. hunt” which i assume is a fake name… and he lies and says he loves the movies!! how simply do the falsehoods slip from his tongue!

ooooookay i see what is going on here. “mr. hunt” is a member of a cuban loyalty group telling lee harvey oswald to hide some weapons. a fall guy is being carefully crafted.

and lee gives him his cigarettes… the same cigarettes baby cig man scolded him for smoking…. omg…. foreshadowing

you know, in all my years studying history, i have never imagined what the inside of the book depository building looked like. and OMG! in googling to try and see if this was an accurate representation, i learned that dealey plaza is where he was shot! so i guess i’m good with JFK lore, but bad at geography. but that answers what the whole opening quote was about.

baby cig man is getting in a sewer to do some crime… very eugene tooms of him. he's getting his gun out in the sewer for a sneak attack…. while lee gets a root beer… and it seems umbrella man was giving a signal on when to shoot! fascinating.

(jackie’s outfit that day looked less fuzzy irl than it appears in this episode, so please take note of that wardrobe people)

nah, this is gonna make me feel bad for a FAKE lee harvey oswald…

and while JFK was dying, baby cig man stayed in that sewer the whole time… wow. i feel like someone should have taken a peek.

soooo realizing he is a patsy, lee shoots a cop. which is actually just far more incriminating than had he done anything else. then he goes to the movies. where the cops find him. and baby cig man was watching all of this…. he pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking. OMG was that his first?? to cope with the Guilt?? damn.

it’s a bit of a ludicrous story that makes me giggle when i consider the real-world implications, but i will take it for what it is.

but back to modern cig man, listening to all of this being explained. he says nothing, seeming to confirm the accuracy of what is being said.

“part 2: just down the road from graceland”

no, don’t tell me he killed ELVIS, too?!?!?

wait, i read that wrong. “just down the road aways from graceland” okay, not sure if that clears anything up. but we hear the voice of martin luther king jr.

no… don’t tell me he killed HIM, too…..

notably, this whole part is in black and white. cigarette man is tap tapping on his typewriter. he’s writing a book! “take a chance: a jack colquitt adventure” <- sounds boring

he’s listening to MLK talk about Marxist revolutions… is baby cig man a closet commie? no, for it appears he is deeply upset by these words!

he’s still in black and white, at a meeting about MLK, talking about how some claim he wishes to wage war against white america. baby cig man says “wouldn’t you?”, and i begin to wonder if he is based, but these hopes are quickly dampened as he explains that MLK's existence and activism are no longer civil rights issues… because he said something about communism. bro. what. is this how people actually felt…?

(you read about the paranoia and the terror of the red scare, but seeing an attempt at putting it in context still makes you think damn, times were weird)

this council is now talking about how they can best discredit MLK, and we see a guy who is blamed for the “there is but one way out for you” letter, which baby cig man says is stupid. oh, he blamed the director of the FBI for that. damn!

cigarette man says we need another patsy, and to make it a white man, so “it” (referring to king’s assassination) looks racially motivated. and oh! he says he’ll do it himself.

“i have too much respect for the man” <- so you’re gonna be the one that kills him? bro… what. we don't usually kill the people we look up to where i come from.

so. cig man lights up as he stands outside a building where MLK speaks.

AND HE PULLS OUT THE PHOTO OF BABY MULDER AND HIS MOM???? WHAT THE FUCK

(is this like a “he’s grieving because his work demands that he never has a family” kind of thing or a “he’s longing for the embrace of mr. mulder” kinda thing….? does he love mrs. mulder….? what is this….)

cancer man gives the dude he’s framing a couple hundred dollars. and then gets in the bushes behind where dr. king is staying. i'm still processing the photo reveal.

and bam.

wow, i feel that this is… weird. idk, the whole “this character killed JFK” thing has been going on for so long that it doesn’t really feel that shocking, but dr. king’s death is a tragedy in a different way, and i’m not sure that using it in fiction is like, super appropriate? um.

while i am unsure if i feel that using a civil rights leader's assassination in your alien story is something we should brush past, i do understand what the writers are attempting to do here, which is show how dedicated to the anti-communist cause cig man is, and how he'll stop at nothing to do what he deems needed, no matter how ugly or horrific. i recognize what they are trying to tell me.

LMAOOOO WAIT. place my moral pondering aside for a brief second. if you pause, you can read the rejection letter baby cig man gets for his book. “my advice? burn it!” <- DAMN that book must have been god awful 😭

oh god. now the TV is mentioning RFK… don’t tell me cig man did that, too…

(author's note: thankfully, he was not involved with the killing of this kennedy brother; no clear statement on whether or not he was responsible for ted's whole thing)

AND WHY was cig man putting that photo of mrs. and baby mulder in his drawer…?!?!

cig man seems to be almost crying while quoting aeschylus along with RFK on the tv, as he speaks about the grief of losing both his brother and MLK…. damn. am i supposed to feel bad for CSM? because i don’t.

back to modern cancer man. we now enter “part 3, the most wonderful time of the year”.

jump to 1991. he has saddam hussein on the phone?? and tells him to call back. and some other dude is working on the oscar noms LMAO wait... i lowkey love the idea that the government controls those... need to think what that would imply for every single winner ever

AND he rigs the superbowl so the bills don’t win LMAO what is his beef with buffalo?! AND he rigged the olympic hockey game in ‘80?

we’re getting the impression he kinda controls everything. message received loud and clear.

OH! now they’re talking about mulder… “that ‘spooky’ kid”, is how they refer to him. and CSM says that mulder is his to keep an eye on. i'm sure that's part of his decades long plot, to keep mulder under his watchful eye and use him as a pawn in his schemes. also, gorbachev has just resigned. no more enemies to fight.

and CSM gives his men some presents for christmas. how thoughtful…..?

his men invite him to come with them to virginia for a family get together. damn, they like this guy? it seems they honestly do!

he got them all ties…. very strange fellow he is.

okay, so he lied and said he had to go see family to escape the gathering. and then ominously walks outside mulder’s office door. dun dun DUN!

he has some mail… and opens it to see something that displeases him. THEN HE STARTS WRITING AGAIN!! it seems like auto fiction, when you write about yourself but pretend it’s happening to a character. damn. crazy coping mechanism. good to know that he is kinda a loser all around.

so, some days he longs for a second chance. okay, yeah, we all do cancer man, and most of us didn’t kill JFK.

the phone rings. it’s DEEP THROAT! my old friend!! were they tight?!

it seems that on christmas eve of 1991 was when a weird alien spaceship arrived to earth. and the occupant is in “critical condition”. also, deep throat mentions the UFO he had claimed to see before in vietnam, so we know he wasn’t lying entirely about that.

they have this fleshy pink alien hooked up to life support, which has me wondering how alien life support works, and also how many types of aliens we are dealing with in this universe. but i’ve mentioned that before. still! worth mentioning again!

lore reveal that is unsettling... DEEP THROAT’S NAME IS RONALD????

idk, i was expecting something like abernathy or shackleton or cromswell!

deep throat gives cigarette man the gun to handle the alien situation- but CSM protests, saying that a “living EBE” could advance bill mulder’s project by decades!!! MR. MULDER MENTIONED?!? he'd be willing to break protocol to help his buddy out?!?

but no, deep throat recites the rules from the security council resolution, which makes him remember what they came here to do.

can you just… shoot an alien??? to kill it? well. you can shoot some of them to kill them, but not the kind that need the special neck stabbing device. okay, keeping track of all this, just seems like maybe all aliens would need something a bit cooler to vanquish them.

they’re fighting over killing an alien…. cig man doesn’t want to do it, so he tosses a coin. so he makes deep throat do it?!?! deep throat says that this is their new enemy. honestly, the sad little alien does not look like he can hurt you, but okay.

(i mean, do they really need the gun? he’s an alien on life support, just pull the plug)

oh…. cig man rips the bandage off his neck as deep throat climbs into some gear to… gas the alien? now what is the significance of this bandage that has been on his neck but ONLY for part three of the story?

that alien is creepy. deep throat really does shoot the damn thing. and cig man lights up while this goes down. is every cigarette one dude he killed….? damn. that’s like 5 packs a day….

“part 4: the x-files”

OOOO, info on scully being brought in!!!

OMG!!! we see parts of her thesis.

did we know she went to the university of maryland? well, i didnt, so that counts as a…

! SCULLY LORE REVEAL ! she graduated from the university of maryland in 1986!

(looking back, i realize this was all flashback stuff from the pilot. but i didn't KNOW at the time that this show would do such things to me, so i wasn't taking detailed notes! wow! how much has changed)

but it’s cancer man reading her thesis. stay away from her!

okay, now we’re back to one of the earliest times we ever saw scully, in her pilot episode fit. and was cig man actually there in the pilot? i think he was, right?

aww, we get to relive the “FBI’s most unwanted” moment through cancer man’s listening. it’s creepy, but still a heartwarming time.

back to the modern day- frohike is talking about how cancer man is “the most dangerous man alive”, because he believes these actions are all that life allows him, and he can never escape himself. damn. that’s deep.

and then back to the 1991 christmas eve scene… an editor loved CSM's book! he used the pen name “raul bloodworth”… have we heard that before? well, i’ll keep an eye out on various shelves. so he calls the number they gave him… he is desperate for validation… and he’s going on about how he wants the cover to look. there’s a cutting comment about “working with young authors”, and the publisher says he’ll have to “relinquish some control”. and cancer man is SO excited.

oh my gosh… wait, why am i lowkey emotional now? but that emotion is very specifically second hand embarrassment.

so he’s typing his RESIGNATION LETTER?? for the day the story gets published. for some reason he thinks that getting one story published = a life of steady income. HAH! if only.

he even takes a wistful look at his cigarettes and crushes them in his hand!!! wow, a time to begin again.

lmao i see a reference to darin morgan in the background magazines… do not think you are slick, props team!

CSM’s going to go pick up his story from a newspaper… and his story was published in a porno… and they changed his ending…

this is NOT a good thing omg

and the newspaper salesman says that the magazine is garbage…

we just watched his dreams die in real time. and with the magazine, he buys another pack of cigarettes. damn. no chance for a new life, i guess.

CSM’s now monologing about how life is like a box of chocolates (disappointing), and this is an interesting juxtaposition, because he is next to a man who is digging through garbage while he says all this, so clearly his material status could be a lot worse but it’s probably a mental prison, being rich and important and also sad.

Frohike clarifies that this CSM theory is based on a story he read, but he’s going to check with some hackers. as frohike walks out the door, cancer man mumbles that he can kill him whenever he pleases, but chooses not to do so today.

woah… very different, but i actually really liked this episode!

i liked getting a peek into the mystical lore surrounding CSM, but also it wasn’t THAT much of a peek, you know? we know a few of the things he did, and that he did them in the name of fighting communism. i guess when he thought that communism was “defeated” they switched to aliens, but also aliens had to be there the whole time, because they did make the agreement about it after ww2. so he’s been up to a lot of stuff.

do i feel a little bad that he can’t get his writing published? yeah, but like i said in a “it’s cringey” kinda way, which i think was the intention. it’s funny that he has amassed all this power but is still a flop.

like i said, i feel weird about the whole MLK thing. i think the coloring going black and white was to illustrate CSM's black and white thinking, about how you are either right or wrong, and to be wrong requires punishment, no matter what anyone else says on the matter. that was interesting.

hmm, i'm pondering. what will happen next to our smoky- well, i was going to say "our smoky friend", but we are not friends at all, are we? where will our tobacco-filled creep lead us?

i liked this one! it was really different from the traditional episode structure, so it felt special and nice. i liked getting an idea of his line of work and how he got involved with it and why, even if the killing post-Bay of Pigs thing was weird, but i GUESS it did bring the soviets and cuba closer together, so i GUESS if you thought anything that advanced communism had to be avenged, you would think that is a logical conclusion.

hmm, i can't afford to try and figure out who actually did it IRL! too much on my plate. it's an interesting theory... i shall have to give it a long contemplation.

#not a bad episode at all! in fact i think it was a GOOD episode!#a bit unexpected but not a bad thing at all!#tomorrow... the agents reunite with rat bastard. i'm sure hijinks WILL ensure.#but for now i am deeply tired and must give this one more proof read before i head to bed and plan on sleeping for like 800 years #wake me up when something big happens like we figure out who actually killed JFK!#i'm so tired i just caught myself thinking “you can't mention deep throat in this post... he's literally classified?”#for a brief moment there i lived in the x files universe #it was powerful #juni's x files liveblog #the x files #txf

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