#why whenever i wanna draw these guys does weed come up in my head

[cicadacelebration]

okay im sorry but i absolutely fucking had to

original comic

[keiarchived]

Freshman Year

stoner!Atsumu x f!innocent!reader x stoner!Suna ft stoner!Osamu

warnings: Drug (weed), gangbang, oral (giving), anal, dubcon, fucking whilst high, university!au, sex tape, cockwarming, corruption kink, sleepy writing

words: 1.8k

To say you were inexperienced, naive and artless, they weren’t wrong. You’re the last person who would cheat on their essay and cause yet another headache to your lecturer. You’re the classic ‘goodie two shoes’ as Atsumu calls you, the same couldn’t be said about both Miya twins and Suna, however.

They are anything but good.

You should’ve listened to those whispers of warnings and rumours that made their way around the campus, how they’re the last people you’d want to get involved with despite their popularity among students. You either love them or hate them, there’s no in-between with valid reasons.

You don’t belong in their world, you know that. But it doesn’t stop Suna from wanting to strip the innocent of you. Maybe it's the way you smiled nervously at him or maybe the glare you gave Atsumu whenever he made those snarky comments, but one thing for sure is that he wants to show you what you’ve been missing.

“Suna...” It almost came out as a whine whilst your head fell back against his shoulder, dark iris swallowing those rings of colours whilst your lips parted delicately with a cute pout. “Hmm? What’s wrong?” He coo, arm resting snuggly and comfortably around your waist as he pulls you even closer to press a kiss on your temple. Chilling at the Miya’s with Suna and his friends has become a regular thing ever since your first proper encounter with him at the party, where your friend ditched you for another guy. Perhaps you should’ve seen through him before accepting his offer to keep your company that night, maybe then you could’ve avoided whatever this is between you and Suna. But would you’ve pushed him away if given the chance?

“Wan’ more...” You whimpered, earning a chuckle from the man as he peppered your cheeks with few more playful kisses before pulling away. “What do you want, princess? C’mon, use your words” Suna love to see it when you’re desperate like this in his arms, staring up at him with those bleary eyes, cheeks flustered and small hands trembling as you grasp at his jacket with wants. “Mmn... smoke... wan’ more of smoke...” You slurred between each hitched breath of yours, feeling a few pairs of eyes glued onto the both of you as Suna leaned closer after taking a drag of his blunt before letting the heavy white smoke slips past your plump lips like weightless velvet. Oh, if only you knew how alluring you are when taking every ounce of the fumes from him greedily. Close enough for both of your lips to slot together, but far away enough for a grin to tug at his lips before pulling away. “Still not used to taking it on your own hm?” Or maybe you just adore these tingles dancing against your skin every time Suna shotguns it to you, as if he’s feeding you his essence in the most sexual way possible.

“Ya babying her too much, Suna. Gonna end up spoiling her.” Atsumu wasn’t wrong, ever since his friend introduced you to an unfamiliar world of ecstasy, he has you wrapped around his fingers like a puppy on a leash. “Why not, jealous Tsumu?” You could barely listen to their conversation as a giggle slipped past your lips, Suna could still remember the time you took your first hit. Trying to copy him only for those bitter smoke tickles your throat, making you cough with tears swelling from your eyes. It was cute though, he praised you for being a good girl, done so well on your first try as he wiped away those tears before wrapping those legs around your waist to give you the fucking of your life and the rest was history.

It was Suna who got you addicted to... him.

“You bet, how come she’s always hanging off your arm when you guys aren’t even together?” Astumu scoffed as shifts from his seat, watching from the opposite sofa with a frown over his defined features. It is unfair really, how you’ve chosen Suna over anyone else. Atsumu would love to slips his arms around you once in a while too, playing with those pretty lips of yours whilst you get drunk of him instead.

Despite no strings attached between you and Suna, shaking your head no as soon as he mumbles softly under his breath, beckoning you to go sit with Atsumu but no — you didn’t want to. “Nnu...Wanna stay...” Instead, your grip tightens on the fabric of his jacket, snuggling further into him until your head is buried at the crook of his neck.

If only you’re sober enough to see the faint but taunting smug smile Suna have stretched across his lips as he shrugged at his friend, guiding you to sit properly on his lap instead with your back facing Atsumu. “Better luck next time.”

God knows how long you’ve been sitting like this, legs folded on either side of Suna’s lap as you rest against his broad shoulder. Pins and needles crawl up your numb legs, shifting with an uncomfortable whine. To think Suna would waste a perfect opportunity like this, you’d be wrong, especially when all if most of his companions are high off their heads to even notice what the two of you’re about to do. “Baby, want my cock?” Suna isn’t subtle about it either, bulge poking at your clothed core. The mention of his cock was enough to have your clouded mind runs wild, grinding against his clothes erection with an eager nod. This wouldn’t be the first time you’ve cockwarm Suna in front of other souls like this, Tsumu would shuffle towards the both of your and join in occasionally. Shotgunning you with his own blunt whilst lazily as he jerks off to your moans and tangle bodies. “What happened to the sweet innocent princess we knew?

As the time you spend with Suna and the Miya twins grew, so did your confidence. Becoming more familiar with the substance than you originally were, however. It was naive of you to think you could do this properly on your own without Suna here to keep you out of trouble because you’re a big girl who knows how to take care of herself. But instead, you have taken a pretty big hit, blame Atsumu. It was his idea to lower the amount of tobacco this time around, instead of feeling the familiar high you have with Suna; this is something way stronger.

How did you end up atop of Tsumu with his cock buried deep inside your dripping cunt, you have no idea. Only remembering fragments of things he had said to you prior to this, “Suna aren’t here is he? Shame. Let me be Suna tonight for ya, baby. Ride me inside, bet I could treat ya better than ‘im, c’mon baby, don’t be shy. It’s not like he’s ya boyfrien’ or anythin’.” That’s all you could remember before a snap of Atsumu’s hips snapped you out of your thought, drawing a meal from your lips. “C’mon, baby. Don’t hide that pretty voice from me now.”

Atsumu’s little plan would’ve been a success if it wasn’t for Osamu, consider it payback. Call him selfish if you want, but seeing his twin brother knocking the breath out of your lungs sparks his jealousy. Sure he could’ve joined in easily but what’s the fun in that?

Suna has been stood by the door for a while now, watching as you desperately bounces on Atsumu’s cock and moaning his name between each of those sloppy kisses. But still, that stoic face remained unbothered, maybe a twitch here and there but nothing major, the completely opposite of what Samu thought he would do. After all, despite Suna saying he doesn’t care nor does he wants you, everyone knows how much he cares for you enough to keep you around for as long as he has. Instead, Suna approached the two of you. Yanking your head up those sweaty locks of yours whilst you could barely register the shift in his eyes, “You knew this was gonna happen didn’t you? Just wanted an excuse to fuck Tsumu.”

He wasn’t wrong, both Miya twins shares the same face and it is hared to ignore their handsome features after all.

Osamu was dumbfounded when Suna positioned himself behind you instead, not only did he not have a good go at Tsumu but at the end decide to join too before prepping your rear end the best way he can before inching in, frowning as he does. “Fuck... just as I expected. You’re so fucking, right baby”

Neither one of them paid attention to Samu before Suna caught him palming at his jeans, only then did he come closer with his cock freed with one hand whilst the other holding a phone and hit record. You should see the way your lips parts whenever you’re close or the complete fucked our expression that suits you so well, no worries though; Samu will keep a good record seeing as how well you take all three of them together with Samu’s cock lodge deeply down your throat, stuffing you full with all ends.

At least this time you are not the only one who’s slurring nonsense as you came, Tsumu was the first one to pump you full of his cum first then it was Samu and lastly Suna. Showering you in praises and kisses before the younger Miya twin decides to take up the aftercare duty upon himself since Tsumu has already blacked out and Suna doesn’t look that far off either with the remaining blunt in his hand.

Samu is the gentlest of them all, washing you carefully as though you’re a glass doll. Having you put on one of his shirts and setting you on the kitchen counter whilst he cooks, earning small nods and hums from you whenever he asks you a question. Samu’s surprise you even managed to hold yourself this well before finally crashing against his shoulder, it was a struggle to get you to eat some food and drink some water but he did anyway.

Only for Suna to snatch you away again with a wave of his hand and a pat on his lap, you practically scrambled out from Samu’s arms and into Suna’s chest. Snuggling comfortably against him with a content smile on your face.

At the end of the day, you are Suna’s precious little princess. He’s the one who shown how to roll a joint, how to smoke from a bong and be a little rebellious. The Miyas twins could hook up with you as many times as they want, but he knows you’d be running back to him as soon as it is over.

Tag list: @m-mortimer @selfishwitch @sleepyrintaro @cxnicalsweetheart

[angellissy]

late night adventures

Based on this request by my lovely friend @darkrosekuwonu :  Hi me again situation kisses 6 screams jj energy so much idk how to handle it when you have time pls feel free to fuck me up with it💕 6.Needing to kiss to hide from bad guys JJ Maybank x Reader A/N: First and foremost, I have gained some new followers and I just wanted to say a big thank you!! I am actually pretty happy with this imagine, I hope it turned out okay according to the situation :) Remember that I am open for request, either from the prompt list or just whatever ideas you might have. I love to write so just hit me with em’.  Your hand was clammy if it was from the adrenaline rushing through your veins or from the fact that your body was pressed against your boyfriend’s, you didn’t know. Most likely a mixture. His uneven breath was warm against your neck, sending tingles through your whole body. One of his arms was wrapped around your shoulders, he was pushing the two of you lower to the ground. “Can you explain one more time why we are hiding behind a bush?” You whispered, he turned his head towards you, grinning widely at your confusion. “We’re here on a secret mission.” A small sigh left your lips, of course you were. “On whose behalf?” “Humanity.” His fingers slipped into yours, and once again he turned to look into your eyes, a small smirk still playing on his lips. “Why are your hands so sweaty? Nervous to be around me princess?” You scoffed at him while rolling your eyes. “Maybe because my boyfriend dragged me out to a random house in the middle of the night.” 

“It’s like ten pm, you’re telling me you had better things to do?” His response made you playfully nudge him, however, due to lack of balance, it caused both of you to fall down on the grass. Droplets of water from the last storm still hanging on to the green straws made your light blue jean shorts turn a shade darker. “Why’d you do that?” He groaned, propping himself up from the grass and then holding his hand out for you to take. “I didn’t mean too silly, I just forgot that we were on a top-secret mission.” His warm fingers wrapped around yours as he pulled you up, his other hand soon traveled down to your legs, wiping of all of the excess dirt. “JJ.” You warned him as his hand found it’s way to your ass. “What? Your pants were dirty.” You swatted his hands away and rolled your eyes at him. “Hmm, sure thing.” “Listen carefully now, we are gonna sneak into the party.-” You narrowed your eyes at the house in front of you. “There’s a party in there? It looks dead.” Your interruption made him let out a heavy sigh. “That’s what they want you to think, but you have to listen in order for this plan to succeed.” “Okay, okay officer.” He gave you a weird look when you said that and you had to stifle the laugh that was threatening to slip through your lips. “JJ please tell me that you didn’t get turned on by that.” He holds his hands up in defense “Am I supposed not too? My super hot girlfriend just called me an officer, that does things to a guy princess.” You were pretty sure that only applied to him, but you would let him have it. Maybe because he had just called you super hot, and frankly that made you feel some things too. “The plan is that we are gonna go in there, pretend we know people there and then we’ll steal the weed.” His words left a confident smile on his lips, one you did not return. “And this is why we let Pope plan everything, but please enlighten me on why you are going to steal weed?” He looked at you through furrowed brows and brought a hand up to his head, setting the red cap back to place. Fuck, why did he have to look so good in the simplest of things? You bit your lip, unbeknownst to you, that made him think the exact thing too. “They stole it from me, some stupid kooks at the last party thought they could just take it. So we’re gonna take it back, and I heard from some very reliable sources that they would be partying here tonight.” You groaned at his explanation, nothing of this made sense. There was no way that a bunch of kooks was partying in a worn-out house almost in the middle of the woods. But when you looked at JJ, determination shone through his eyes, and you didn’t want to take this adventure away from him. No matter how stupid it might be. You trudged forward, pulling his arm to make him come with you. He gave you a small smile “That’s my girl.” You shook his head at him, trying to ignore the blush that crept up onto your cheeks. The closer you came to the house, the more apparent it became that there was, in fact, a party inside those walls. Loud music was blasting through speakers, and you were sure that you could hear people chanting. Your grip on his hand became just a little bit tighter, making sure that he wasn’t gonna leave your side once you stepped in. “I’m not gonna leave you all alone in a room full of random people princess, don’t worry.” He gave you a reassuring grin just as he stepped into the house, dragging him with you. Oh boy, you had really been wrong before. This place was bigger than what it looked from the outside and it was filled with kooks, pogues, and everything in between. You recognized some people, it wasn’t surprising since everybody’s paths seemed to cross every once in a while. JJ said hello to some people, no doubt trying to blend in before putting the plan into action. The two of you came further and further into the crowd, elbows and hands were digging into your sides. A small “ouf” slipped past your lips as you walked straight into JJ’s chest, seeing as he had stopped walking. His arms snaked around your waist and he started to move to the beats of the music. “Why are you slow dancing to a hip hop song?” You yelled, trying to make your voice heard over the loud song. He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m blending in and trying to spot the dudes that stole my.-” A flash of panic suddenly clouded his eyes. “Kiss me!” You were taken aback by his words, so you simply let out a “What.” “Those dudes, I think they’re looking at me and I need you to kiss me so they don’t see my face.” He pulled you closer, his hands were drawing circles on your lower back. You didn’t know if he noticed that he did that, but from your observations, it seemed to be something he tended to do when he was getting stressed out. “I thought you wanted to find them?” His face was moving closer to yours, and the butterflies in your stomach started going crazy. You had been dating for almost a year, but whenever he came close to you, your body just reacted. “Yes, but I didn’t want them to find me, and I don’t wanna risk getting into a fight. Gotta take care of my girl right?” Your hands found their way around his neck, pulling him close enough for your lips to finally touch. When his lips brushed hers, she could feel the taste of her own strawberry chapstick. The taste must have lingered since the last kiss they shared. His fingers dug into her back, trying to intertwine their bodies even more. JJ Maybank was like the sea, glistening and beautiful on the outside, becoming even more gorgeous as rays of sunshine grazed the surface. But he was also mysterious and complicated, the depth of his feelings seemed to go on forever. That didn’t stop you from diving right in. So when his tongue found it’s way past your lips, you curled your toes. Just as you would’ve done if you had been standing knee-deep in the sea, toes curling against the sand, trying to stop you from losing balance and tumbling right down. Still, when he deepened the kiss further, waves of various feelings crashed into you, and so you lost your balance and tumbled right into the sea that was the boy that held your heart. You tilted your head back, gasping for air, though he saw it as an opportunity to plant kisses on the bare skin of your neck. “I think they are gone now, we should continue with the plan.” You whispered, still trying to fill your lungs with the air they lacked. His lips came closer to yours “Fuck the plan.” He breathed before reattaching your lips, the air in his lungs mixed with yours, making you hold onto the kiss longer. That’s the thing, everything was better when shared, no matter if it was adventures or kisses that made you lose your footing. 

[andyet-here-we-are]

I Would Get Into Millions of Accidents Just to See You, Chapter 2 (aka Nurse Geralt AU)

(ao3: x

Chapter 1 Tumblr Link: x )

Geralt is not someone who is an active social media user. He has never been.

Hell, he wouldn’t even use WhatsApp if he didn’t have to.

He thinks that apps like this make people so accessible, and leaves little privacy, and ironically, despite it’s called “social media” it makes people less social. He has lost count of how many times he has seen a group of friends sitting somewhere and scrolling through some apps on their phone or something instead of talking to each other.

Of course, it depends on one’s use, but from what he can tell, whenever you’re online, people tend to think that you have all the time in the world.

So no, thank you very much. He likes his privacy.

Whenever he says that “Social media is for people who don’t have nothing better and important to do,” Ciri just gives him The Look ™ and says: “Okay, boomer.”

He has no idea what the hell it’s supposed to mean, but he is sure it’s not something good.

Once Ciri had downloaded some dating app on his phone without his permission while he was sleeping his ass off after a very tiring night shift. That little match-maker of a girl.

And not only that, but also she had said: “I texted some of the users for you! The ones I thought you might like. One of them seemed nice, I like her energy. So, anyway, long story short, you have a date this weekend. You can thank me later.”

“Excuse me, you did what?!”

Needless to say, Ciri wasn’t allowed to use the internet for three days after that.

“I just want you to be happy,”  on the third day, Ciri had said out of the blue while they were reading I, Robot together —they were both into sci-fi, and reading was a great escape from thinking about all the things going on in life.

“You deserve love. Everyone does. Your whole life is nothing but me and your job, and… You deserve happiness, dad. You deserve love.”

“Come here,” Geralt had said, opening his arms wide for her to embrace him, which Ciri had applied.

“I am happy, pumpkin.”

“You could be happier… If there was someone you loved and dated—”

“Ciri, look. Love is… A beautiful thing.” he started ‘Even though it can be hurtful,’ was left unsaid.

“But love doesn’t necessarily mean the affection between a couple. It doesn’t just mean romantic love. Love can be in many forms, shapes, and different ways. Love of self, of animals, of nature, friends, family… We experience love every day when you think about it. You can find it in everything.  Even in a slice of homemade pie that Mrs. April brought us today.”

“I love pie! But dad, I doubt that if a slice of pie can tell you that you look lovely today. A cutie-pie on the other hand—”

“Ciri, have you been even listening to me?”

“…and a pie can’t run their fingers through your hair-”

Geralt sighs, “Why am I even trying?”

“Deep down you know I’m right. Dad… How about you just… give her a chance? For me? Just see how it goes?”

"Is it gonna make you happy if I do that?”

“So happy!”

“And you’re not gonna do something like that ever again.”

“Promise!”

“Not downloading stupid apps on my phone, and not trying to set me up.”

“You got it, Cap!”

Geralt had met with that woman, and they just didn’t click.

True to her word, Ciri never has done something like that again.

***

Geralt is not someone who likes social media.

But there he is, looking at the musician’s posts instead of sleeping—even though he has to get up early as always tomorrow—scrolling through the app, and feeling like a high school girl with a stupid crush.

He reads every little caption the musician had written.

Surprisingly- well, maybe not so surprisingly- his songs aren’t the only thing he posts about.

He posts about random things; sometimes it’s a pretty flower he came across this morning, sometimes it’s a kitten, a book he is currently reading, food recipes, his drawings, things like that.

His account seems like just his personality.

Filled with all the beautiful colors in the word. Filled with joy, and every little thing he shares feels so sincere. Personal.

[I tried that recipe @Brianricci has sent me and it still feels like there are fireworks in my stomach, so here’s a little drawing for you my life-saver pasta-mate.]

That one makes Geralt smile. Reminds him of that day.

***

“I have something for you, Mr. Should Have Been A Model But Became A Nurse For Some Reason. Not that I’m complaining, for the record. The only thing I have complaints about is your hospital’s awful food. So awful that it should be illegal. A sin, even. You’re sinning whenever you guys force people to eat that food. I can only imagine your staff’s weekly confessing: ‘Forgive me father for I’ve sinned.’

‘What’s wrong, immortal one? What did you do?’

‘Oh, father, even bathing myself in holy water can’t cleanse me from my sins! I made my patient eat that awful food, I had to, father! I had to! I had no choice! But I have faith that I can change that one day!’

‘Faith becomes you. Stay with it. Keep fighting the good fight with all thy might.’

God help him this man is so ridiculous.

“Why are you suddenly Anthony Hopkins from The Rite?”

“Eh, just felt like it,” Jaskier shrugs “Your jello is pretty good though, so, good deed point. And your nurses aren’t half bad either, so I heard.”

Jaskier winks at him.

The audacity of that man.

“Anyway! As I was saying, I have something for you—”

“I have something for you, too, Mr. Pankratz,” Geralt says. He has a good guess about what Jaskier has for him.

A drawing of a flower.

He had heard the staff talking about how the pretty patient in room 242 has been giving flower drawings to pretty much everyone while he was walking around.

“Why thank you, you shouldn’t have! You brought some wine for me or something? For the celebration for my third week here? You’re so kind, my good sir.”

“It’s your medicines.”

“…ever the heartbreaker. I take back everything I said. You’re the devil in disguise.”

After Geralt gives him his medicines, Jaskier pulls a scratch book under his pillow and carefully tears a page from it. He gives it to Geralt.

“I thought I was the devil in disguise?” The nurse says as he takes the drawing from him “Are you sure that you should give demons a flower draw—”

Geralt can’t finish his sentence.

Because what he is looking at certainly is not a flower drawing.

It’s a man who holds a syringe in his hand with a kind smile on his face, and the syringe is filled with cute little hearts.

It’s him.

There’s a giant cactus standing behind him for some reason Geralt finds it hard to understand why.

He has seen the other drawings, and they are nothing like this one. This one looks like Jaskier has tried his hardest to make it perfect. Put everything in it. It’s perfect and detailed as if he had drawn it while looking at Geralt. It also seems familiar for some reason.

“—in conclusion, devils are fallen angels, so…” Geralt hears Jaskier talking.

Yet he is too busy to say something as he keeps looking at the drawing in his hands.

“Ooops, did I go too far with the hearts?”

“Hm.”

“Geralt? Say something, please? Oh God, I broke my nurse. They’re sooo gonna sue me. And I don’t think I can afford a good lawyer, I’ll rot in jails, I’m too young to rot in jails, I can’t be someone’s bitch, I’m not even—”

“May I ask why is there a cactus standing behind me?”

“A comment! Phew! Finally! Well, that would be because you’re just like a cactus.”

Geralt raises an eyebrow.

“Better than being a weed, Dandelion.”

Jaskier holds his hand to his chest and gasps, feigning offense.

“Words hurt, Geralt. Words hurt.

I meant it as, like, let’s face it, you’re kinda prickly on the outside sometimes, but soft on the inside? A cactus in the desert.”

Geralt sighs.

“And now you imply that my hospital is a desert. How nice. What’s next?”

“You don’t like it?”

“It’s okay.”

It’s obviously more than okay, but teasing with the young man is fun, and everyone needs some fun in their lives once in a while.

“If you don’t appreciate my drawing just give it back,” Jaskier makes grabby hands as he pouts like a little kid that just dropped his ice cream,  “I’m pretty sure it’ll look good on my fridge anyway. No trouble for me.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

“I’m not giving this back. Too late, you should’ve thought that before you gave it to me. Can’t take it back now.”

“If you don’t say something nice about my spectacular drawing you can be sure that I’m gonna take it back from your hands even if that means putting up a fight.”

“How bold of you to think that you’re in a condition to put up a fight.”

“You’d be surprised. And if I can’t, your other nurse friends and your fellow patients can do it for me. I haven’t been handing out flower drawings for nothing all day.”

“And you say I am the devil in disguise.”

“I never said I was an angel, have I? Seriously though, you have ten seconds to pay a compliment to my drawing. Ten—”

“ ‘Okay’ was a compliment.”

“I beg to differ, since when ‘okay’ is a compliment? Say that to the Italian chef in Mamma Mia when he asks how is the pasta and see if he takes ‘okay’ as a compliment and doesn’t pour half-full pasta plate over your head, and ruin your favorite bee shirt. Also, nine.”

“That was oddly specific. Did that happen to you?”

“Eight, I have no idea what you’re talking about, I was just being hypothetical. Seven, six—”

“I bet he wouldn’t threaten me with taking my meal back if I did at least.”

“Sev— wait a second I was counting backwards, weren’t I? Where were we? Five!”

“Man, you’re really no good at math.”

“Wanna know what I’m good at? Many things, and fighting happens to be one of them. Four, ” Jaskier attempts to get up from the bed, somehow forgetting about his broken leg for a split second and swears: “Ah, cock!”

Geralt barely holds back a laugh at that one.

“Careful.”

“I can still verbally fight you.”

“You’ve been already doing that for the last five minutes.”

“…three.”

“You never give up, do you?” Geralt rolls his eyes with a smile, “It’s a good drawing. I really like it.”

Another lie.

He doesn’t just like it, he loves it.

But even saying that he likes it is enough to make Jaskier beam at him.

“You gave everyone a flower drawing,” he points out  “but I get a cactus and a drawing of myself, why is that? It must have taken some time to draw this.”

“A special drawing for a special nurse.” Not making eye contact, Jaskier says so softly that Geralt nearly misses it. “Yeah, it sure took some time to draw it, and my schedule was so full because of all the crazy hospital parties you guys keep throwing that I could hardly find the time, but eh, I managed somehow.”

“Sucks that they never invite me to that parties,” the nurse jokes back. “Seriously though, thank you. I appreciate it.”            

“I’d like to draw something for Ciri, too. But I’m saving it for later when I can meet her. You didn’t tell her that I’m here, right?”

“She doesn’t know.”

“Good! Keep it that way.”

***

Smiling at the memory, Geralt rises from his bed to take the drawing from his bedside drawer. No, of course he doesn’t look at it every day, what are you talking about?

If he hadn’t promised Jaskier that he wouldn’t let Ciri know until these two can meet in person, this drawing would be on his wall already.

Maybe next to Ciri’s painting of a white wolf.

He had considered doing so but then decided that it would be wise if he didn’t. No doubt Ciri would figure out it was Jaskier’s drawing as soon as she would see it. It was signed by him, after all. Not that Ciri couldn’t figure it out without the signature.

“What the hell, Geralt” The nurse snorts to himself and runs a hand over his face as he imagines his room filled with the drawings of his daughter, and Jaskier’s. “What are you gonna dream about next? Ciri being a flower girl at your wedding?”

Fuck.

He is totally dreaming about it now.

God, it’s crazy how much he misses him, even though he doesn’t really know him.

Ciri already is crazy about Jaskier, and Geralt looks forward to them to meet, to see how Ciri is going to react when she sees him. He feels like the two would talk non-stop, and he would just listen to them talking about God knows what.

He would have no problem with that; in fact.

“I’ll give him a call tomorrow,” he thinks.

He wants to see Jaskier again.

(Thanks for reading! Sorry for the lack of Jaskier in this chapter, but it was like:

-So, it’s time for you to meet Ciri! 

-Hah, well, I love her, but I don’t think so. Not yet. 

-But Ciri- 

-You can have me as a Flashback Guest in this chapter, nothing more. 

-But my plan wasn’t like this. 

-Too bad, I’m my own character.

Let me know what you think please. Have a good day everyone ~ 💛)

[thiswasinevitableid]

I would love for you to do the sharing favours professionally from the rivalry/ friends to enemies to lovers for the prompt fill for indruck? (I'm on mobile so can't copy the whole prompt) 😁

“ we’ve been begrudgingly sharing favours back and forth to help each other out professionally but this time i need you to do something more personal and you know you wouldn’t have gotten that account without my help last month or that promotion so you owe me.”

Content note: There’s a brief description of Indrid’s ex being verbally shitty to him.

“No, nuh uh, aboslutely no fuckin way.” Duck maneuvers the last butterfly bush into its display row, stands up to find Indrid glaring at him.

“Why not?”

“Indrid, we see plenty of each other at work. I’m not gettin roped into some evenin shindig with you just because you asked.”

He heads inside, the skinny, pale-haired man on his heels.

“Duck, please, I help you out all the time.”

“Yeah, with work. And it’s only now and then.” He settles behind the counter, checking off the deliveries that have already happened. Indrid stays on the other side of it.

“Oh, really?” he arches a dark eyebrow (of course the guy dyes his hair), “what about the time I made sure city hall chose us for the five year landscaping contract even when you were the one who was supposed to be working on winning them over?”

“That how we’re playin?” Duck leans on his elbows, staring Indrid down, “because I seem to recall it was me who helped convince Mama that havin a little florists space so you could do your arrangements was a swell idea.”

Indrid opens his mouth to retort when the phone rings.

Duck grabs it, “Mama’s Nursery and Landscapin, Duck speakin. Oh, howdy Winthrop. Yep, expectin the last orders this week, then we’ll get started on that zen garden. Uh huh. I see. We’ll see what we can do. You have a nice day now.”

He clicks the phone off, “I hate the rich bastard, but he wants us to do the landscapin on their summer home, which’ll be a nice chunk of change.”

“See! There’s another one you owe me. You have such a hard time being in the room with him, the only reason we got the hospital garden job is because I turned on the charm.”

“Is that what you call it when you get that weird smile on your face?”

Indrid groans in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose. When his hand drops away he looks...defeated. 

He and Duck may bicker, may compete from time to time, but Indrid’s a good guy. Hell, Duck will even admit (begrudgingly) that he often enjoys how much the two of them work together. 

Duck sighs, forces his brain to switch from arguing mode to problem solving mode, “Indrid, what’s all this about?”

“I told you, I have an art showing.”

“Right, but why do you need me to go. Why do you need anyone, ain’t your job at those to make small talk and hope people say nice things about your drawins?”

Indrid swallows, picks at the front of his work apron, “He’s going to be there.” He says meekly. 

“He-oh fuck, you mean The Shithead?”

Indrid nods.

“He tryin to pull some stunt to make you take him back?”

Indrid laughs bitterly, “no, he’s been all over his social media bragging about how he’s going to turn up with a hot date to my show,  “show me what I gave up” and all that. Dani saw it and warned me so he couldn’t take me by surprise. I have so few friends in town, and everyone but you has work or something else that night. I thought it would be nice to have someone I knew with me.”

Duck thinks about Indrid’s ex. The guy’d come into the shop plenty of times, often making a big show of putting a possessive arm around Indrid (who never seemed to enjoy the gesture). At least, that’s what he always did when Duck was around. Worse, whenever Indrid was describing a new landscaping design, or working on an arrangement, the ex would pick at it, say how it was bad or lacking, that it would never work and no one would like it. And Duck would watch the glimmer dim in Indrids’ eyes, watch him go quiet (find him more than once sniffling and wiping his eyes furiously in an outbuilding once the guy left).

He looks back at the other man, who is staring at his scuffed converse. 

“Where am I meetin you and what time should I get there?”

--------------------------------------

Duck gives a tight smile to the group of hip twentysomethings crowding the door of the building as he squeezes through. It’s some art space/ coffee house/ bar that isn’t quite his scene, although he likes that it’s warm and lively as opposed to the fluorescent lights and weird silence he was expecting. 

He doesn’t spot Indrid right away, and so takes a moment to look at the drawings on the wall. They’re Indrid’s alright, he can recognize the ways they overlap with the sketches he does for arrangements or the plans he draws up for gardens. And they’re incredible, black and white with pops of color, a few abstract or dreamlike but many seeming more like still lifes. 

One in particular catches his eye and he stares at for a good two minutes, trying to figure out why it looks so familiar. 

“Ahem.” 

He turns, and has to forcibly stop his jaw from dropping.

Indrid is in dark slacks and some sort flowy black shall-jacket thing over a bright red shirt. His hair is tousled on purpose, rather than from getting it caught on plants.  

Has he always looked this good?

“Thanks for coming.” He says awkwardly, extending one of the two glasses he’s holding to Duck. 

“This all looks amazin.” Duck says, taking the drink with a smile. Indrid relaxes at that.

“Oh, I’m, uh, glad you like it.”

“What’s this one of?” Duck points to the drawing he’d been staring at.

“It’s of a really lovely, big cork oak up on one of the eastwoods trails. I like to go there on weekends and sketch.”

“Hold up, that the trail that ends at the little lake?”

“Yes.”

“No fuckin way! I hike that nearly every weekend. Amazed I’ve never seen you.”

“I’m usually off the trail a little ways.” He grins sheepishly when Duck looks aghast at this confession, “I know that’s not allowed but I’m able to get such different perspectives on the things I draw.”

“If, uh, if you wanted to, maybe we could go up together some time. Could leave you to do your drawin while I hiked and then, dunno, maybe get lunch of somethin?” 

Indrid looks a little surprised at the suggestion, but recovers quickly, “That sounds quite nice, actually.”

Duck stays by Indrid as he makes the rounds, asking him about the different drawings and enjoying the way he animatedly describes the process and idea behind each. 

The Shithead arrives about forty-five minutes in. Duck spots him first, complete with a date on his arm. The date is tall, slender, with pale hair, looking like Indrid if he were a model rather than just a regular guy. Or, Duck thinks as he watches the ex preen, as if someone took Indrid and erased all the things that made him so interesting to look at.

“Ex just got here.” He murmurs, and Indrid stiffens beside him. Duck, seized with a sudden need to protect him from that jerk, places an arm reassuringly on his lower back. Indrid glances at him, face unreadable, but relaxes into the touch. For the next fifteen minutes, whenever The Shithead makes a loud, derisive comment, Duck will squeeze Indrids hand or brush his fingers down his back and Indrid will shake off the words. 

There are several people wanting to buy drawings and so Indrid excuses himself to go thank them.

“Knew you’d be the one to pick up the scraps.” Says a familiar, unpleasant voice.

Duck turns, levels The Shithead with his most disinterested gaze. 

“Nice to see you too. And I ain’t got the slightest clue what you’re referrin to.”

“He was always talking about you. ‘Oh, Duck knows so much about native plants,’ ‘oh, Duck has such good ideas.’” He says it in a mocking, high pitched imitation of Indrids lilt and Duck wonders if he can get away with physically throwing him out of the building. 

“Anyway, it doesn’t surprise me that when I traded up, he went crawling to you. Honestly, you can do much better.”

“Beg pardon?” Duck growls.

“Let me see, how to put this in terms you understand? Why waste your time on a weed when you could have a prizewinning rose?”

“Because,” Duck says through gritted teeth, “sometimes people call things weeds just cause they don’t behave exactly how they want ‘em too, or because they don’t see the value in ‘em.” He steps closer to the ex, not noticing that he’s stopped whispering, “You fucked up. You were shitty and Indrid had the good sense to dump you and now you’re doin some petty shit to try and hurt him. He’s amazin at what he does, he works hard, he’s funny, and he’s so handsome I wanna look at him every damn day. You didn’t see the value in him. That’s your loss. Now fuck. Off.”

The Shithead is about to say something when a hand grabs his shoulder. His date is behind him, looking pissed.

“Hold on, you asked me out to try and hurt your ex?”

“Uhhh, babe, no, I can explain.”

Duck smirks, turns to check on Indrid just in time to see him slip out a side door.

“Goddammit.” He mutters, quickly following him. 

The door opens into an alley, and Indrid is standing with his back to him. When he turns, his hands are over his mouth and his eyes are wet. But he doesn’t look unhappy.

“You like me.” He whispers. 

“Uh” Duck scrambles, “well, yeah, we’re, uh, friendly types, fuck.”

“You think I’m handsome.”

“Shit, you heard all of that?”

Indrid nods, Duck sighs.

“Fuck it. Yeah, I think you’re handsome. And all the other stuff. And lots of, uh, other stuff that I didn’t say but could’ve.

Indrid steps closer, “Is the part where you admit all our arguing has been the only safe outlet for your, um, passion for me?”

Duck snorts, “Hell no, sometimes you need a fella who’ll tell when an idea ain’t feasible. But…” He meets Indrids hopeful gaze and smiles, “I’d be lyin if I said I ain’t thought about what it’d be like to be a different kind of partner to you.”

Indrid reaches for him, and Duck goes willingly into his arms as the taller man blushes and says, “Yes, I’ve thought about that quite a lot as well.”

------------------------------------------

 Dani’s glad Indrids’ show is open so late. It means she and Aubrey can go once Aubreys’ act is over. She even texted Jake and Hollis, asking if they wanted to check it out too (also, if Indrid’s ex was there, having someone who looked like, and basically was, the head of a motorcycle gang would come in really handy).

When the four of them reach the bar, she peeks in hoping to see Indrid, but can’t spot the taller man (or Duck) anywhere.

“Huh, maybe he left?”

“Or maybe he’s taking a little ‘break.’” Hollis makes airquotes before pointing up. They all look towards the balcony, which clearly isn’t in use for the party. 

It is, however, in use for the two figures currently occupying it for a long and intense looking kiss. One is wearing red glasses, the other lets out a laugh that unmistakably belongs to Duck Newton. 

“We should give them some privacy.” Aubrey says. The other three look at her, and then she grins.

“Just kidding! WOOOOOO GET IT DUCK!”

“ABOUT FUCKING TIME DUDES.”

“GET A ROOM!”

“I’M SORRY ABOUT THEM BUT GOOD FOR YOU!”

----------------------------------

The sound of his friends catcalling them breaks Ducks concentration for all of two seconds. Then he flips them the bird, and goes back to the very important business of making out with his boyfriend. 

[heesgf]

zeen out of curiosity can u ship ur mutuals with sb?

hihi!!! omg i’ve always wanted to do this so im rlly happy someone finally asked🤧🤧💖 im gonna put this under ‘read more’ bc i have a lot to say!! pls enjoy :’)

((i want to apologize in advance bc i have the sweetest mutuals ever and im gonna be writing a lot for each of them bc i love all of you guys!! sm!!😚))

hyunsuk

firstly, im gonna ship hyunsuk with @forhyunsuk (courtney ilu💞)!!! when i think of the two of you, i think of really cute and spontaneous dates in the summer :’)) like getting ice cream and going to the beach!!! maybe burying him all the way in the sand and then running away jsdiojs. i also imagine you two doing this cute thing where you go to clothing stores and pick out the randomest, most CRINGEY items you can find LMAO, and then you make each other do little fashion shows???? long story short: u have him wearing a bright yellow romper and a trench coat…and he has u wearing weed socks with overalls and a sombrero??? WILD🤪🤪 but ya’ll are the cutest!!! and at the end u take rlly sweet selfies and cuddle at home :’)) sweet bbys!!!

i also wanna ship hyunsuk with my love, sim ( @hyunsukmyass ) !!! i feel like you guys would travel together uwu🤧💘??? i think of the sweetest domestic life, and there’s nothing more beautiful than exploring the world with the person you love?? i see you guys sitting together on planes and you always!! have your head on his shoulder, and he’s holding your hands, caressing it gently, and kissing it softly when you take off :’)) sometimes he’d just slump over into your seat and you’d wrap your arms around him!! he’s not asleep, he just wants a piece of you sim sdijsojf💖💖💖 he takes LOTS of photos of you while you’re sleeping omygod!!!! and they go all over instagram…. uwu u guys are the cutest couple ever!!! (w/ the best ig feeds ever DAMN) 

lastly i ship hyunsuk with lika, @moonxlika (world’s cutest person uwu😚)!! lika, you guys are so that adorable couple that joke around with each other like crazy, but when things are serious, u always have each other’s backs!!! if u come home after a long day, and ur upset or really tired, suk is ready to FIGHT SOMEONE FOR YOU😤😤💪 (bc he wants his baby to be happy always :’) but once u explain to him that it’s just a bad day, and there’s no one to fight, he immediately takes u into his arms and u guys eat every snack the convenience store has to offer, along with every cheesy movie u guys can find on netflix!! (maybe u guys are doing other things more than watching the movie but that’s none of my business🍵🍵🍵) also i mean kissing jiofsj nobody come for me pls im fragile

seunghun

@seunghunn my angel maddi !!!!💕💕💕 it’s no surprise that i ship you with seunghun!!! you guys are definitely the sweetest couple on this entire planet, and i think you guys would have the randomest, but MOST FUN, dates ever??? like seunghun would randomly pull up at ur house 2pm on a saturday (he didn’t even tell u tf??) he calls you, and when u look outside, he’s waving at you like crazy!!! and he’s smiling SO HARD!!! and ur just staring at him like ‘:ooo ????’  u kinda wanna go back home and change bc ur wearing sweats, but he looks so cYUTE and excited, you just jump into the car uwu❣️❣️❣️ and that’s when ur adventure begins :’))) he takes u to a finger painting place??? u guys promise ur going to draw each other omg; u decide to be a lil playful and paint him kinda funny looking, and long story short, he chases u around the place and threatens to rub his paint hands on ur face🤧 he gets somehow manages to get some on ur lips??? it’s ok bc he kisses it off uwu!!!! maybe call poison control???

next i ship seunghun with the lovely vale @seunghunies 💘💘💘 vale omg you and seunghun,,, literally the cutest concept ever :’)))) i feel like the two of you would love to venture out into town casually?? like he’d pick you up after school and you’d drive into the city!!! and believe me, the two of you look so in love, people would be staring in awe left and right🤧🤧 when hun sees the tip of your nose getting red, he takes his scarf off and wraps it tightly around u!!! and then he kisses ur nose for good measure uwu :’))) !!! when it gets darker, he’d drive a little bit toward the hills, and you would cuddle against each other and watch the stars… u guys would talk about everything!!! when u go off on lil rants abt ur day, he’s just staring at u like 😻😻😻 oh he’s so in love with u!!!!!!

and ofc i wanna ship seunghun with the beautiful @kimseunghoney 💛💛💛 christina when i think of you and seunghun, i think of adorable morning dates!!! i can see you and hun starting off ur days together at a cozy little breakfast place, and the whole time, he’s just giggling and staring at u with the fattest heart eyes!!! i think seunghun would buy u things spontaneously?? like ‘here’s a bouquet of flowers bby, i saw them and thought of you’ or ‘here’s a sweet treat for my sweet girl✨’!!!! uwu uwu uwu, you two are really just the cutest!!! sometimes, in the morning, if he has to leave before you, he’ll leave a sweet love note on the bathroom mirror. not that you’d ever forget how much he loves u, bc trust me, he says it everyday!!! but he just wants u to smile :’) he loves u sm💖

byounggon

@byoungggon ess, my angel, i obviously ship you with gon!!!💫💕 i see u guys as the adorable couple that literally everybody can’t help but fall in love with??? like you will wear gon’s oversized grey hoodies, and his camera roll will be filled to the brim with photos of you!!! anyone from miles away would be able to tell that u two are so in love with each other??? and if it isn’t obvious enough, this boy shows up to every single music performance u have, with a beautiful bouquet of red roses, the widest smile, and the LOUDEST WHISTLE IN THE WORLD!!!! hes always in the front, and he’s always cheering the loudest bc he’s so proud of his bby uwu🤧 u guys are the sweetest couple ever!!!

@speckofglitter tiyi i would ship you with byounggon too!!!!💞💞💞u can’t tell me y’all wouldn’t be the chillest couple that hangs out at parties, and y’all look so sweet talking to each other, everyone’s kinda just gawking at u!!!! also, driving in the car and listening to music??? THAT’S KARAOKE TIME!!!! ppl driving past might look at you guys like 👀 but y’all don’t even care!!! you’re too busy screaming lyrics at the tops of your lungs and laughing together omg :’))) why are you two so cute omygod…

@hynusuk taryn we don’t talk that much but I know you and gon would be the best couple ever❣️❣️❣️ i can totally see him sending you lyrics to his next song late at night, and his heart is beating so fast because he just loves you so much!!! and you’re melting bc the lyrics are about you, and they’re the most beautiful things you’ve ever read :’))) I feel like he’d make you mixtapes!!! and whenever ur feeling down, you guys would take spontaneous trips around the city and maybe makeout a lil hehe😚😚!! cuties

yedam

@yeetdam dara my angel!!! i ship you the human emobident of sunshine, yedam😚✨✨because he’s such a smart bby, and so are you, I can see you guys studying together before a big exam :’))) perhaps ur a liiiiiittle unmotivated so yedam makes a deal with you 👉🏼👈🏼!!! if u study with him for a couple hours without any distractions, he will sing you to sleep for every question you get right :’)))) and bby!!! u get all those questions right, so you are SET❣️❣️❣️ the night before your exam, yedam cuddles you in his arms, and sings you the sweetest lullaby you’ve ever heart uwu!! and the next day, when your exam is finished, he gives u the sweetest kiss😭😭 and then u guys race to the nearest icecream shop and eat icecream until u drop!!!!

@yedarnit how could i not ship you with yedam???? that would be blasphemous jskssk🤧 you guys are SO that dreamy smart high school couple that everyone loves, not only because they’re incredibly ADORABLE, but also bc you two are so mature and down to earth???💕💕💕 i can see you and yedam cramming for tests at the school library, and you guys do that so often, perhaps the librarian is ur #1 fan??? she is the biggest micro and yedam supporter omygod💘💘💘 sometimes the two of you fall asleep, and you’ll rest your head on yedam‘s shoulder while he has his arm around you!!! and she is MELTING at the sight of y’all!!! ofc, she snaps a couple pics, and when u guys wake up, she shows them to guys!! tbh, y’all are kinda melting too???? damn cute!!!

doyoung

  @doyeongs j, you and doyoung are the most angelic couple ive ever seen???💗💗💗 i think you two are the resident sweethearts at your highschool, and literally everyone, including the teachers LOL, is in love with ur relationship!!! I can imagine doyoung making jokes under his breath in class to make you laugh, and you can’t help but burst out laughing every time!!! most of the time, ur teacher thinks u guys are so sweet, she doesn’t even get mad :’))) i also see doyoung walking you home❣️you guys basically just gush abt ur days, and talk abt how much u miss each other :’))) maybe when he notices you shivering, he hands you his jacket, and maybe when he sees the blush on ur cheeks, he leans in to kiss it uwu!!!!

@sonjuyeonnie lydia i ship you with doyoung too!!!💝💝💝 the purest couple ever :’))) i think you and doyoung would spend a lot of time together during school; and he’s always getting in trouble bc he does dumb things to make you laugh (all in good fun ofc!!! nothing bad). i can see doyoung teasing and playing with you!!! like sometimes he’ll just kneel down in front of you and be like “hop on😎”!!! and then he piggy backs you the whole way home and you’re just giggling the whole time :’))) cutest bbys!!!

junkyu

miss haejin @junkyuity …. u KNOW u and kyu are my one and only😞💝💝💝 me, you, kyu, and gon are richmond gang :’))) the strongest group out there uwu!!!! I could talk abt you and kyu for days BUT, one thing i rlly always think about is how u two go on the sweetest, most casual dates!!! like to a cute lil convenience store somewhere omg :’))) u two would share a strawberry milk with one straw, and maybe have some instant ramen if ur hungry, or other snacks!!! perhaps he’d steal a couple of ur snacks when u aren’t looking, but tbh, you aren’t that mad??? bc the second you raise an eyebrow at him, and ur like, ‘hmmm🤔🤔🤔… didn’t i have more pocky???”, he immediately bombards you with the sweetest kiss!!!!💕💕💕 and let’s just say,,, it’s so heart fluttering, u forget everything??? yeah… u guys are the cutest💘💘

[queeniewritesce]

Shall We Dance 6/?

Lucy lazily opened her eyes, blinking to adjust to the light feeling the room, streaming from the beautiful arch windows near her side of the bed. Her head throbbed a little, she felt sore in places that hadn’t been used in quite some time, and she admonished herself for not taking some ibuprofen before falling asleep last night.

She tried to move but a firm hand gripped her waist, keeping her in place, digits digging the soft skin of her tummy. She turned her head, carefully to not worsen her headache, and regarded the sleeping man by her side; apparently, they were both stomach sleepers, arms under the pillow type of people and she wondered if that was uncomfortable for him, as he was not lacking on that department. Like, at all. She giggled quietly at her teenager mentality, studying the beautiful profile of Chris’s face, fingers itching to get closer, to lose themselves in the soft fur covering his jaw, trace the fullness of the lips that had driven her crazy the night before.

Ghost memories heated her skin as she slid out of the bed, padding softly to the bathroom, her thighs protesting the burn his beard imposed upon them, the sensation not dissimilar to the friction the pole created when learning a new move, but much more pleasant. She washed her face and used his moisturizer, the mirror showing her the purple marks he left on her neck and the top of her breasts, hair in disarray, and a small grin graced her face. She had been loved hard, and she reveled in every minute of it.

Lucy glanced at Chris’ sleeping form, grabbing his folded sweater and her socks and quietly slipping from the room, Dodger following behind her.

“Morning Dodger,” the stairs were cold on her bare feet as she descended. She makes quick work of his sweater, smelling the collar and folding the cuffs. She pulls on the thick socks while scanning the living room, locating her purse on a side table and to find a hair tie, tying a messy bun on top of her head. She grabbed her phone, opening the small bottle of Advil she always kept with her to grab two pills and walked back to the kitchen, where Dodger sat patiently by the door. “Listen, I’m not too keen on the idea of the alarm going off when I open that door, so I’m really sorry, but there won’t be any visits outside till your dad wakes up, alright?”

She could’ve sworn the dog ruffed before a small whine escaped him. Lucy spotted the treat jar on the island and gave the pooch two small ones as a peace offering. Satisfied, she opened the fridge, grabbed a bottle of water and sat on the same stool she had occupied yesterday, unlocking her phone. She sends Penny a quick message saying she won’t be back till later because Chris is taking her to one of the museums and snorts when her sister’s reply is a bunch of eggplant emojis. Siobhan is next and she asks about Morris, quickly retelling what happens without naming Chris and promising to call soon. There’s a message from JP enquiring if Garret’s plan was to propose on Christmas’ Day, and she thinks it’s odd, ‘why wouldn’t he ask Garret directly instead of asking me?’, she ponders and decides to call her brother later. Her last new message is from Sunny, inviting Lucy to stop by whenever she has the chance. She replies explaining they’ll arrive early on the 23rd, maybe she could have dinner with the family that night.

Opening Instagram, she clicks the plus sign, it’s a habit to always post something about the latest football game she attends; a picture of everyone she’s with, a few words about the game and when the Patriots were involved, a sarcastic remark about Tom Brady. She scrolls through her photos and it suddenly hits her she can’t share the incredible day she had yesterday. Not only all pictures feature Chris, either smiling to the camera or in the background, but he’s also in every quip and every joke she can think of writing. Sure, her account was private, but when was the last time she weeded out her followers? She sighs and closes the app, adding the task to her mental to-do list.

“I was about to file for my missing sweater, but it looks so much better on you than it does on me.” Chris’s voice is right behind her and she jumps a little, but she smiles and spins the stool around to look at him. “Even when paired with those goddamn awful socks.”

“I have cold feet.” Her eyes follow him around and she licks her lips at the sight of the half-naked man turning on the coffee maker, sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips and she is almost certain that is the only piece of clothing he’s wearing.

“I kinda noticed that.” He pats Dodger on the head before disarming the alarm and opens the kitchen door, a very happy dog now bouncing on the fresh snow outside. “You might want to have that checked, I believe they’ve frozen some time ago and you just haven’t noticed.” Chris grins at her indignant face and she scowls at him, trying to elaborate a good comeback when he invades her personal space. “Good morning, gorgeous.”

He’s pressed right at her side when he speaks those last words, tilting her head back and kissing her soundly, the hands on her neck keeping her in place, and does she really need to breathe because she just wants to kiss him forever. Her whole body awakens, his touch moving like lightning on her skin. Her palms sprawl over his chest, fingers combing the short hairs covering the muscles and she’s delighted at the small moans coming from him. Sadly yes, they do need air to live and so they part, foreheads touching, fingers caressing and smiles on their faces.

“I believe it’ll be, yes.” She eyes him as he draws on her skin, following the pattern of the cherry tree branches on her arm, reaching the last flower perched near her inner elbow and she tenses. As wonderful as he is, they barely know each other, the scars on her forearm and wrists are part of the demons that plague her dreams, ones that she’s not willing to discuss. She feels better when his fingers skip the scars, going straight to her palms and tangle themselves with her own, bringing her hand up to kiss the knuckles.

“How about some breakfast?” He offers while his mouth skims over her hands. “There’s this great place right around the corner that serves breakfast till 3 p.m., we can walk over there and get my car afterward, go to the Museum?”

“Breakfast food for lunch?” her stomach grumbles at the mention of food. “I was gonna make a joke about it being so very un-Hollywood of you, but as you heard it, parts of me are already on board with the plan. But I do need coffee first.”

“As milady wishes.” He goes back to find two cups in the higher cabinet, grabbing the creamer from the fridge and setting it all on the island in front of her before seating by her side, “How are you feeling today?”

“I woke up with a bit of a headache, a little sore too, but I took some Advil when I came down, I’ll be right as new in a few hours.” She rests her chin on her hands watching as he scoots the chair closer to hers, knees touching as he runs slow circles on the small of her back.

“I’m sorry about the soreness baby, but damn, it was a tight fit, I almost blew my load when I first entered you, you felt so good.”

He says it like he’s commenting on the weather, not of giving her the best sex of her life. Her cheeks felt warm; the man had no filter, did he?

“It’s been a while since I last fooled around with anyone, it’s been mostly me and my hand for the past twenty months.” Apparently, she had no qualms talking about it with him either. Lucy felt at easy with Chris, from the first time they looked at each other she felt like a missing piece of herself finally found its way home. How would she keep going after today? She shook her head to clear her head, she wouldn’t think about that now. “And you're going around with a large concealed weapon in those pants. How do you get past TSA with that?”

He laughs with a deep bass guffaw, slapping his knee.

“Wanna give me a pat down, Officer Seabrook?” a waggle of his eyebrows had her chuckling before he got serious. “But almost two years baby, are New Yorkers that blind? You look smoking hot, do not give me that look, ‘cuz you do. I’d be following you around like a lost puppy for that ass alone.”

“There were plenty of opportunities, it’s just… It never felt right, I guess? I…” she stopped, unsure about giving up too much of her past. What was with this guy and the need to know all her secrets? And what was up with her and wanting to tell them all to him, hoping he wouldn’t run away screaming?

“Then I’m extremely glad it felt right yesterday. Because it felt right to me too, the moment you walked into that room? I was a goner. You had me at hello and all that shit.” He grinned at her over his cup, but she could tell his eyes were studying her and at some point, they would come back to this conversation.

“And all that shit uh? You’re such a romantic. Wait, the fact that you even know that the movie is awesome enough. It’s one of my favorites”

“Figures you’d have the hots for Tom Cruise being angsty as fuck” He laughed and batted away the packet of Splenda she threw at him.

“Oh shush, he’s not angsty, he’s had a revelation and it’s acting upon it. Plus, the ‘show me the money scene’ is already movie history.”

Chris lets Dodger back inside before grabbing the coffee pot, and he sits facing, a sheepish grin on his face while he poured himself a cup.

“So, if you had to choose, wine or coffee?” he asks as he prepares his drink; three sugars, a splash of creamer.

“Coffee, no doubts about it. I love wine but by this point in my life, I have coffee running in my veins instead of blood. There’s no way I could give the liquid gold up.” She pours half a cup, skipping the sugar and filling the other half of the cup with the creamer.

“What the hell,” he eyes her cup suspiciously, “that is not coffee baby, that’s an insult to anyone who drinks coffee.”

“Says the person who puts enough sugar in his cup to rotten teeth.” She scoffs before taking a long drink. “Delicious.”

“Oh my god, you’re one of those girls.” Chris grabs his chest, pretending it hurts. “You order a PSL at Starbucks.” He finishes with a low, horrified voice, whipping an imaginary tear from his eye.

Lucy was glad she wasn’t drinking when he finishes because she laughs so hard, she snorts.

“One hot, venti, two-shot, almond milk, no whip pumpkin spice latte. I’m a basic bitch who loves her PSL, so sue me.” She shrugs and brings her cup to her lips, sipping slowly.

“I bet the barista knows your name and draws a smile on the damn cup too.” He raised an eyebrow at her, and she smiled over the brim of the cup, giving a little shrug. “I knew it!”

“There’s a store on the same block of my apartment and it’s on the way to the subway, they’ve been there since I moved to New York, of course they know me by name by now.” Pouring more coffee into her mug, she acknowledges, “This is absolutely delicious though, it’s Hawaiian Kona coffee, right?”

“Color me impressed.” Chris grins, nodding his head. “It’s one of the few things I splurge on, I have the company send a few beans bags every month to wherever I am staying. I refuse to drink the goo they serve at most places when I’m doing press for a movie.”

“You’re a coffee diva.” She states, amused by his confession.

“Some people hate green M&Ms, I hate bad coffee.” He concedes laughing. “I even provide the coffee, it’s not like they have to go and buy it, you know? Just follow the instructions or let my assistant make it and I’m a happy guy.”

“What is that like, having an assistant?” Lucy glances at Chris, untrimmed beard, mussed hair, no shirt, ratty sweats and barefoot. Incredibly good looking, but more of guy-next-door than a movie star, she almost forgot he was more than Garret’s hot best friend.  Their worlds differed so much, she couldn’t imagine having someone on her beck and call, or worst, a publicist. That gave her pause and she pursed her lips in thought while he responded.

“It’s weird at first, someone controlling your schedule, telling you where you need to be and when. But you get used to it so fast, especially since they seem to know exactly what you need and they deliver it, you know? Almost like a superpower, they learn how to read you and anticipate your moods.” Chris pondered and looked away embarrassed when he continued. “It’s… convenient. If you’re not careful you can get lost inside the Hollywood lifestyle, get jaded by the lights and you end up forgetting who you truly are. It almost happened to me once and I swore I wouldn’t let it happen again. It’s one of the reasons Tobias stays in Los Angeles whenever I’m here, I can take care of myself, I can be Chris.”

His words reassured her, but one question lingered. He was famous, he had an image to protect. As Samuel clearly reminded her, most people only saw her as a glamourized, overweight, stripper. She turns to face him, “Do I have to sign an NDA? Would pictures of the two of us together be bad for you?”

“What, Lucy, NO.” he shakes his head startled. “First of all, NDAs are ridiculous, they rarely work, I know that first hand. Maybe if you’re into some hard kink sex and doing it with random people, then okay, an NDA would be ideal, but I don’t ask people who I sleep with to sign them. And no, a picture of us together wouldn’t be bad for my image, it might stir some pots because some people believe they can dictate who I date…” Shaking his head, he grabbed her hand, linking their fingers together. “I know we’re still getting to know each other but one thing you should know is that I rarely give a fuck to what the media or the general public think of me. I keep my people close to my vest, I don’t talk about friends and girlfriends in interviews, but that’s because it isn’t anybody’s business what I do on my personal time. But I won’t shy away from being around someone I care about either. If a picture leaks or if they follow me when I’m with someone, I set my publicist on their cases because they are assholes, but the one thing I won’t do is to acknowledge their presence or react to them. It’s what they want, and I learned to tune them out.”

“I’m sorry doing what you love comes with so much bullshit involved.” Her thumb rubbed circles on his palm, in a soothing manner, her free hand combing his tousled hair. “Just so you know, if you decide a week from now that maybe I should sign one of those ridiculous things, I’d do it.”

“Thank you. The fact that you offered is enough.” Chris leaned into her hand, almost purring from the feeling of her fingers massaging his scalp. He closes his eyes, enjoying the moment and Lucy wants to save this forever, a perfect reminder of their time together.

He tastes of coffee when she kisses him, molding her mouth over his, dragging her lips sweetly across his own. She tastes like cream when his tongue touches hers, light touches that entice her, coaxing her lips to follow his when he retreats, seeking more, needing more.

The whiskers on his face tease her skin when he drags a line from her mouth to her neck, nipping hard at the pulse point, sucking the skin to sooth the bite. She gasps at how pleasurable the tiny amount of pain feels, fingers splashed on his hair, pulling him back till she devours his mouth, taking the lead.

His hands are everywhere, cupping her neck to hold her in place, squeezing the soft flesh of her breasts, gripping her thighs, finally circling her waist to bring her closer to him, hiking up legs over his, making the sweater she’s wearing ride up, his eyes popping when he realizes she’s not wearing anything under it.

“Such a naughty girl you are baby.” Chris murmurs against her mouth with a grin.

“I’m full of surprises.” She pulls the string securing the pants and it pools on the V of his abdomen, his cock springing upwards to rest against his belly. “I see I’m not the only one not wearing underwear.” Fingernails rake on the hard muscles of his abdomen while her teeth do the same to his collarbone, biting his neck. A thumb grazes the silky skin of his head and he twitches underneath her palm, his soft moans delighting her.

Her sweater is halfway up her body now, a large hand cupping the globes of her buttocks, while the other is busy massaging a hard nipple. Ripples of hot lava dances over her with every pass of his finger.

“I love how responsive you are, how you look ready to cum just with me playing with your tits.” Chris lowers his head to take a hard peak in his mouth when Lucy hears the low rumble of his stomach, making her raise an eyebrow at him. He ignores it and shushes her with a kiss, slating his mouth over her giggling lips, bringing her back to the moment.

A second, louder rumble follows. There is a pause and their eyes open, green meeting blue, mouths pressed together turning to grins before they are both laughing.

“I guess I’m hungry.” He remarks.

“When was the last time you ate something?” a hand smooths down her sweater when she stands up.

“I had a pretty nice snack last night.” A wiggle of his brows had her punching him on the shoulder as she narrows her eyes at him, still laughing.

“Oh my god, you’re such a man Christopher.”

“Glad you noticed babe.” He embraces her, kissing her shoulder. “Come on, we can shower together and save time.”

..__..__..__..__..

Showering together did not save time, she remarks when Chris closes the door behind him. It’s almost noon when they finally leave his house, all bundled up, gloved hands clasped together. There was no snow right now, but it’s supposed to start back late afternoon, so the plan was to be back home before that.

Lucy wasn’t sure exactly what he meant. Would he drop her off at Garret’s house after their outing (she didn’t dare call it a date) or would they go back to his place together? Sure, she understood the concept of one-night stands; she’d had her fair share of them but spending the day with one of them was never part of the deal, they had never asked, always leaving her house before the sun was up. In the beginning, she didn’t care about them leaving, her walls kept her safe, away from heartbreak. She had given herself away twice before and she had the scars, emotional and physical, to remind her not try it again.

Being single wasn’t something that bothered Lucy like it had bothered Penny or Siobhan and, unlike her sister and her best friend, she had welcomed it, focusing her energy and passion into dancing. She was proud of what she had accomplished in the last twelve years, the dance studio was thriving, she had made a name of herself and was now giving back to the community as much as she could.

Yet she now yearned for more. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly when that happened but somewhere in the last six months the feeling snuck up on her and was now part of her daily routine, accompanying her from dusk to dawn. She pushed it aside, tried to bury it under her work but, no matter how late she stayed in her studio, how hard she danced, how tired she was, the loneliness that greeted her when she arrived home made her ache.

She wanted what JP had with Marianna. She wanted what she saw between Penny and Garret.

She had no idea how to get it.

Her eyes glanced over at the man walking beside her. Chris was funny, charming, interested in what she had to say and what she did for a living. It didn’t hurt the whole package was contained inside a sinful body, and boy, did he know how to use that body. She shook her head. This was a one-time thing, it’s not like he would want to see her again.

“We’re here,” Chris announced with a muffled voice, concealed beneath the heavy scarf covering his mouth, pointing to the red stone building that occupied the corner of the block they just turned. “The food here is amazing, you can’t go wrong with anything really.”

Lucy looks up before they enter and sees a neon sign with Mike’s City Diner written on it. The place had an old school vibe, a red, black and white theme that reminded her of the diner in Cooperstown, the one she went to almost every day after school for milkshakes and grilled cheese, or for family breakfast during the weekend. She’s about to ask if he comes here often when his name is called by a pretty brunette wearing an apron with the diner’s logo on it.

“Hi Chris,” the woman is all teeth and pink lipstick when she winks at him. Lucy tries to not pay attention to the way the hand, not coffee pot squeezes his biceps in hello.

“Hi, Corinne. Is my table occupied?” he questioned, removing his winter gear.

“It is, but the booth next to it is free, if you seat turned to the back wall, I’m sure no one will bother you. We’re past the rush hour anyway.” She grabs a couple of menus from the counter and leads them to the very back of the restaurant, away from the windows. “I’ll bring some fresh coffee for you.”

Chris helps Lucy out of her coat and mentions for her to get in first. He slides next to her and wraps an arm around her back, pulling her closer.

“I take you’re a regular?” She asked while reading over the menu.

“Yeah, I come almost every day when I’m not at my mom’s house. I’m an okay cook, but breakfast food is my favorite and I rather not screw it up.” He nods, not even looking up at the menu. “Very kind people, delicious food, most patrons are either engrossed on their food or too deep in conversation to notice me, which is a plus.”

“I grew up going to a very similar diner back home. My friends and I would spend whole afternoons at Patty’s, doing homework and playing the arcade games he’d kept in the back room. He was the sweetest guy, always looking out for the town’s kids, running fundraisers for a neighbor in need… And the food was so, so good.” Wistful eyes looked around the place, taking in the decor and the warm way the waiters would talk to the customers.

Corinne approached with a smoking pot of coffee, sashaying her mint skirt as she did. She poured Chris’s coffee and points the pot to Lucy in question. “Want some, sugar?”

“Please.”

“Alright, you guys know what you want?” she placed the pot on their table, whisking out a white pad.

Chris signaled Lucy to go first and she orders cinnamon walnut waffles with a side fruit, saying no to the meat.

“I’ll have the Dynamic Duo with bacon and scrambled eggs. And she wants cream, lots of it.” Chris says with a teasing smile.

“I can drink my coffee black, you know?” Lucy huffs after Corinne leaves them alone.

“Yes, but do you like it?” He gives her a pointed look, a lone eyebrow raised at her.

That was so unfair, who could resist that damn eyebrow?

“No,” she answers with a pout.

He laughs and steals a quick kiss. “So, no meat?”

“No meat. I can’t call myself a vegetarian because I love cheese and eggs and still indulge in some seafood, but it’s been almost ten years since I decided to stop eating red meat, eight since I last ate chicken.”

“Impressive. Hemsworth is thinking about adopting a plant-based regimen on our next bulk up. We’ve been discussing it for a while.” He plays with the empty sugar packets, sighing. “I don’t think I could do it.”

“Chris, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I don’t know the guy, but if he’s your friend I’m sure he’ll understand.” Her hand closes around his, giving it a squeeze. “Quitting anything is hard, my friend Terry has been trying to stop drinking soda since I first met him, sometimes he goes months without a single drop, other times he drinks Coke for breakfast, lunch, dinner and midday snacks.”

“Don’t I know it. I’ve quit smoking maybe a dozen times now. But I pick it back up whenever I’m stressed or if I go clubbing a lot.” He picks her hand up, dropping each finger on the table only to do it again. “I stopped after I broke up with my last girlfriend.”

Lucy pursued her lips. She once had called Penny to see how her sister was doing and throughout the conversation, Penny had been curt with her, until Lucy snapped and decided to end the call. That was when Penny apologized and explained she was mad by proxy because Chris’ girlfriend was being a bitch, divulging personal details about their relationship. Lucy didn’t know the actress was, but she instantly disliked the woman.

“Uh, so maybe a good thing come out of that?” her smile was sympathetic.

“Yeah,” Chris gave her a warm smile. “I was single when I met you.”

“And if you weren’t?” it was a serious question disguised within a light smile.

“Here’s the thing, I don’t cheat. I may be a shitty boyfriend at times, especially with all the traveling and time away from each other, but cheating? That is inexcusable.” His eyes were fixed on hers when he continued and the intensity she found in those eyes made her squirm in her seat. “Had I been dating someone I’d have watched you from afar, cursing whatever deity for giving me a glimpse of yourself when they’d know I couldn’t act on it… The truth is I would have left the game. I was drawn to you like a compass needle is drawn to the north and I wanted you. Anything from the moment we said hello would be considered cheating in my book.”

A flustered laugh escaped Lucy’s mouth; she wasn’t expecting any of what he said, admittedly his stand on cheating mirrored hers but the other half of his speech floored her. Never had a man been so candid in his interest towards her and she was at a loss for words.

She was saved by the arrival of a boisterous man who introduced himself to her as Jay, the owner of Mike’s City Diner. He and Chris shared that typical bro hug after he set down the plates.

“I took the liberty of making your waffle with almond milk when Corinne told me you said no meat.” He had an accent she couldn’t place it. “I hope it is to your liking.”

“That’s very thoughtful, thank you.” She took a bite of the waffle and moaned at the taste, speaking between bites. “This is amazing Jay, best waffle ever.”

“Thank you. I’m happy you like.” He looked between Chris and Lucy. “It is the first time you bring woman with you. Corinne was… disappointed. I can see why she can’t compete with your chosen fire head. Beautiful woman.”

“Keep it up and I’ll tell Janet you’re hitting on my girl.” Chris pointed his forkful of pancakes at Jay, before popping it in his mouth.

“Janet more prettier than Lucy because Janet is my wife.” Jay grinned at them. “I’ll leave you to your food. Wonderful day friends.”

She busied herself with another forkful of waffles and strawberries, trying not to focus too much on Chris calling her his girl.

“Don’t mind Jay, he’s a flirt. Didn’t I tell you the food was good?” Chris drizzled more syrup on his pancakes. “The man is a breakfast food king if I was a billionaire I’d hire him as my personal breakfast chef!”

“But you gotta eat more than just breakfast though. Who would you hire for dinner service?” she dumped most of the cream in her coffee, smirking when Chris cringed.

“Uhm… that’s a tough one.” He stroked his beard in thought. “Either Tyler Florence or Jeff Mauro… I’m going with Jeff Mauro; I love sandwiches and he is the king. What about you?”

“I don’t even need to think about it, it’s all about the good vanilla and the Italian mascarpone! Ina Garten is the Barefoot Contessa for a reason.” She observed.

“Now that would cost you an arm and a leg.” Chris countered. “And if you want Jeff to go make the cheese in a climate-controlled cave in Connecticut, then you’d be bankrupt by the next dinner service.”

“But she told me store bought was fine.”

“Store bought is never fine.” He gasped in mock horror.

Trying to contain her laugh had Lucy wiping away the moisture from the corner of her yes. “I can’t believe you watch Food Network, Chris!”

“Well, there’s just so many times you can play Boggle while on set. Sometimes you just want to watch something to take your mind off things you know?” He pushed his empty plate away, mirth in his voice. “Plus Chopped is psych! Scarlett, Sebastian and I place bets on our favorites. I usually leave a hundred dollars richer by the end of our marathons.”

..__..__..__..__..__

The Museum of Science was somewhat busy for a Monday since most schools in the city were already off for the Holidays, making Chris lower his cap to cover his eyes as they entered the building.

Lucy’s eyes got big when she took in the place. “Oh my god, this is incredible! It’s almost bigger than the Museum of Natural back in New York.”

“I believe New York has more exhibits but we have more square footage or something like that. They grow everything big in Mass.” He winked.

“Don’t I know it?” Lucy waggled her eyebrows, laughing before grabbing the map she had picked up at the entrance. “Alright, what’s the plan?”

“I got us tickets to the Lightning! show at two, the Planetarium at three thirty and the butterfly garden at five pm.” Chris held her hand and lead her to the right side of the building while pointing things up in the map she held. “Maybe we could start with the dinos and make our way back to the red wing for the show?”

“Let’s head downstairs and see the Triceratops exhibit then, they are my favorite.”

“So, you like then horny, uh?” Chris whispered in her ear while they descended the escalator.

“Horny and big boned.” She whispered back with a straight face, a sneaky hand landing on the fly of his pants. “Small boners just don’t do it for me.”

A mother cleared her throat behind them just as they reached the lower level, and they moved quickly out of the way, looking sheepishly at the woman giving them a death glare before bursting into giggles.

“You’re such a bad influence on me.” Chris tutted at Lucy, bringing her close to his side and putting an arm around her shoulders.

“ME?” she protested with a laugh. “I was merely stating the fact that I like big dinosaurs, like a triceratops or a brachiosaur.”

“I’ll show you a brachiosaur when we get home.” He winked at her.

“If I recall correctly, your brachiosaur has quite a thick neck. Can I pet it? Maybe kiss it a few times?” She teased him, rubbing his forearm in a suggestive manner.

“Are you trying to make me pop a boner in public woman?” she saw him discreetly adjusting himself. “Come on, let’s see those dinos.”

The exhibit was fantastic, three full skeletons held the main floor, including a small, unhorned hatchling that made Lucy tear up. They admired the displays, taking turns pointing something they liked and debating which dinosaur would in against various superheroes, in the end deciding Hulk would probably join the dinosaur side, just to even things out. When they got to the T-Rex exhibit, Chris joked about this being Dodger’s wet dream and that he the only reason he wouldn’t steal a bone to take home to Dodger was that it wouldn’t fit inside his house, prompting Lucy to ask about it.

“The whole main floor is gorgeous, but I looooove your kitchen, it’s freaking amazing. If I ever move, I want a huge kitchen just like yours!”

“It was the first room I renovate when I bought the house last year.” Chris beamed. “Every detail, from the island to the fixtures have a history or a special meaning. I installed the backsplash myself.”

“Wait, you did it yourself?” Lucy asked, wide-eyed.

“The backsplash yeah, but I’ve had a lot of help from Dix and Garret during the reno. I also stained the hardwood and installed the mantle over the fireplace.” Chris grinned proudly and pulled up his phone, opening the gallery app and showing Lucy the before pictures. “Dix’s a contractor, damn good one too. We hired a design to come up with a general idea of I wanted and went from there. We’ve finished all the main floor, the master bedroom, and bathroom plus the staircase, but the other three bedrooms, the guest bathroom, basement and the backyard are kind of a mess. We only work on the house when I’m not filming, so it’s going slow.”

They walked over to the entrance of the Theater of Electricity as it was almost time for the show to start, and sat on a backless wooden bench, away from the main area, Chris straddling the bench and Lucy facing him, one leg bent over the smooth surface.

“Chris, the fact that you decided to tackle your own renovations when you could just pay someone to do it for you is remarkable. It speaks volumes of what you are as a person and what you want in life. My dad always quotes, we shape our buildings: thereafter, they shape us. You’re turning that place into a reflection of what you want for you and it shows.”

Chris regarded her for a moment, wistful eyes scanning hers.

“My ma’ always told me something similar before I moved to Los Angeles: whatever good things we build, end up building us. I’ve been trying to live by it, surrounding myself with people that want to build each other up, who share their talents with others in the best way they can. It takes a while to weed out the bad, especially in a place that thrives in being fake. There are many good, hard-working people in L.A. but there are at least three times as fakers and clingers who just want to use you. I love my house there, but sometimes it feels less like a home and that’s especially true now that I’ve bought the condo here. Ma’ was ecstatic when I told her I had found a place here, granted she wanted me closer in Sudbury, but I reckon Boston is a heck of a lot closer than Los Angeles. She helped decorate the living room and the big ass island was more of her idea than mine, but in the end, I loved it.”

“She’s got an awesome taste; I have the biggest case of kitchen envy now. I absolutely adore my apartment, it isn’t small by the city standards, but it doesn’t have much kitchen space. It certainly doesn’t have a big ass island, but it’s home.” She shrugged.

“I remember Penny mentioning you guys are from somewhere upstate, when did you move to New York?”

Lucy shifted in her seat. She would not think about him and what made her move back home.

“Late 2002. I had just gotten back from England; I went through a rough patch for a while and I wanted to start fresh some place where I could lose myself and not worry about everyone from the neighbors to the Mayor knowing your name. So as soon as I could I packed again and moved to New York. My father was supportive, but my Mamma was livid, she didn’t speak to me for a whole month.” she saw the confusion on his face. “That might not sound like a lot, but my Mamma is originally from Trento, Italy. She embodies all the stereotypes of an Italian woman you can think of. Not talking to me was maybe harder on her than it was on me!”

“My mother is like a quarter Italian so I can relate a little when she gets going is you better shut up and listen because she means business.” Chris nodded. He looked her over and Lucy had the distinct feeling he was trying to pierce some of her story together. He was much more perceptive than she initially thought, there would be no glossing over details with him. “England, uh? For dancing school?”

“Yeah… I joined when I was sixteen. Did almost six years with the company.”

He looked impressed. “That’s a whole lot of time dancing. What was the school like?”

“Demanding. We had to be the best one hundred percent of the time, you could lose your spot if you ever slacked on grades or on your dancing. I had a private tutor for classes, so I had no free time until I was finished with their version of high school. Then I got promoted to first soloist when I was twenty, so I barely know any touristy spots in London.”

“I keep wondering why you don’t want to tell me that you actually danced for the Royal Ballet of London and not some random school.” Chris gave her a pointed look and Lucy’s eyes widened. “Your sister is your biggest fan you know? She might have mentioned you danced with them once… or twenty times.”

Lucy looked away, her face heating up. Penny had been so supportive back in the day, even at thirteen, she was Lucy’s most supportive family member, encouraging her older sister to apply to the scholarship, staying in during the weekends so they could practice together. The events that preceded her return to the States still stung Penny and Lucy never thought her sister would look over them to hype her up to her friends.

“I don’t know really, I feel like I’m bragging when I mention their name. And some people look at my body and think ‘yeah right’ because a ballerina is supposed to be always this dainty girl and I’m now the opposite of that.” She waved her hand in front of her body. “I got rather crafty with not saying exactly where I studied, they mostly assume it was just a regular dancing school.”

“People are assholes.” He conceded.

The theater doors opened before Chris could comment further and they were ushered inside after handing their tickets to the greeter. They chose a seat near the middle row, moving all the way to the last seats, Chris pulling his cap down and slumping a little in the seat while everyone got seated around them. When the lights diminished, he righted himself up, removing his hat and running a hand through his hair.

Chris brought her arm over her shoulder, drawing her closer. He leaned into her, whispering in her ear. “I’m sure you were the cutest ballerina ever, but I much prefer the upgraded version of you.”

Even if she had any cute comebacks, and she didn’t, lights went up on the stage and the presenter introduced Professor Lightning, who proceeded to show the audience how Tesla coils worked and how to create lightning strikes at the comfort of their own lab. That was the first of the many corny science jokes of the thirty-minute show and Lucy lost herself in it, along with Chris.

..__..__..__..__..

“Maybe they’ll get it ready before we die, can you imagine it? A holiday trip to Mars?” Chris was walking backward while talking to Lucy, hands waving around in excitement, and she thought he looked like a little kid dreaming about what he’d do when he got older. It was the cutest thing.

They had just left the planetarium wing and they decided to head back down to the Starbucks locates at the atrium for some coffee. Chris had fake gagged when she ordered a Caramel Brûlée Latte and she made a show of drinking it slowly, moaning and making faces to get back at him. He ordered three double espressos in a grande cup, making the barista blink and repeat the order back to him.

They were now sitting by one of the many tables overlooking the Charles River, and Chris was dreaming of spending weekends on Mars instead of down in the Bahamas.

“I guess if you had thirty million dollars you could do it.” She agreed just to appease him. She saw his smile get bigger, probably already deciding which investments he’d give up being in that voyage. “You know, for each leg of the trip.”

Chris dropped his shoulder, defeated. “Maybe I could just go to the moon then. A quick getaway to look at Earth from another perspective.”

He looked serious and Lucy had a feeling he was indeed planning for that excursion.

“Would you really do it?” She inquired with a tilt of her head.

“Hell yes, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’d crap my pants while going up but man, that would be so fucking cool.”

Lucy watched as Chris got a dreamy look on his face and she contemplated if he would think she was crazy if she got him a Christmas gift. She just had the perfect idea for one.

“Send me a picture when you get there ok? You’d pay to go, I wouldn’t go even if they’d paid me.”

“Is it the heights?”

“Actually no, I love rollercoasters and I’ve bungee-jumped before.”

“You what?!” He stared at her with wide eyes.

“I did yeah! It’s such a cool experience, I’ll tell you about it sometime.”

“You better! So, if it isn’t heights, what is it?”

“I’m terrified of enclosed spaces. I can barely make out off an elevator without going into a mini panic attack.” Her body did a quick shake at thought of being inside a spaceship. “It’s not too much of being in a tight space but I need windows and I need to know I can quickly get out of the situation if the need arises. You can’t exactly do that while going to the moon.”

“I can see how that would pose a problem.” Chris nodded and finished his coffee. “How do you cope with flying?”

“I have a prescription for Xanax, but I try to avoid using it. I rely on lots and lots of distraction.” She picked her up her phone, unlocked and pulled up Spotify, showing him a playlist labeled Flying Sucks, and he scrolled through her picks. “I’m so glad I don’t need to turn off our phones anymore, I have my headphones on and music blaring from the moment I step into the plane.”

“I’m afraid to ask, but how does one go from Chopin to Slipknot in two songs?” He turned her phone back to her pointing from Nocturne op. 9 to Duality.

Lucy cocked her head at him, a grin on her face.

“My tastes are very singular,” she whispers trying to contain her laugh. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Chris paused for a bit and she saw the moment he got the joke.

“Did you… Did you just quote Fifty Shades Of Grey to me?” Chris was laughing so hard he dropped her phone on the table, his hand automatically landing on his chest. That was the third time she saw him doing that and vowed to try and make him laugh that hard again, it was the most adorable thing.

A few other visitors turned around startled by the sound of his laugh and Lucy shushed him, ineffectively. She saw a teenage girl squinting at Chris, trying to place the man sitting two tables away from her and Lucy immediately got up and stood in front of him, blocking her view.

“Let’s go, doofus, there’s a very curious teen staring at you and I say she’s seconds away from figuring it out who you are.” She gestured with a thumb to the table behind her. Lucy grabbed his hand and pulled him up, Chris lowering his cap while they left the cafeteria area.

“I still can’t believe you quoted that awful movie at me,” Chris said while tossing their cups on a nearby bin.

“And I don’t understand how you know that line at all.” She pointed at him, waggling her finger.

“They uh, may have offered me the role?” Chris glanced sheepishly at her.

“THEY WHAT?” Lucy shrieked and immediately covered her mouth. Chris pulled them into an empty alcove to get away from prying eyes. “I’m sorry for yelling but what?”

“They offered me the role. Twice. The second time they even threw veto power on whom would’ve play Anastacia.” He shook his head. “It was a hard pass from me. The sex scenes in the book were passable, but the plot felt iffy, very constricted and oversimplified.”

“You’re the first guy I know who actually have an opinion about the plot and do not dismiss it as being mommy porn.” Lucy praised him.

“I make a point of having an informed opinion and not rehash what others think.” Chris nodded. “If that means I have to read a book about kinky fuckery, hey, let’s do it!”

Lucy threw her head back with a laugh and they resumed their walk, discussing their favorite books and authors and soon it became very clear they did not share the same interests. Chris tended towards non-fiction, biographies, science and spirituality books while Lucy rarely picked up something that wasn’t about fantasy, especially vampires and wizards. They did agree on Harry Potter and A Brief History Of Time, so they called it a win anyway.

They circled back to the blue wing where the Butterfly Garden was located when a voice over the intercom announced that everyone with tickets for the five pm showing was now welcomed to enter the Garden, and they quickly made their way there.

They started the tour on the opposite side of the entrance, walking around a path brimming with the colorful wings of the kaleidoscope who lived there. Lucy took pictures of her favorites and marveled at how nature worked, turning into what most would consider an ugly nuisance into such an exquisite animal.

The thick, lush foliage extended all the way to the glass ceiling, the various shades of green a great contrast against the gray skies above. Each section of the garden filled with different types of flowers and plants to attract the butterflies, it was a cacophony of plants from all over the world, turning the area into something quite magical in Lucy’s eyes.

Chris stopped here and there to discuss whatever butterfly they could see, Chris pointing what he remembered of his previous visit and telling Lucy anecdotes of his time there with his family.

“Then he convinced Shanna to lick the picture! So she goes up, takes the mounted frame from the wall and low and behold, licked the fucking leaf!” Chris remembered laughing. “Of course, the moment she lifted the frame a silent alarm must’ve sounded somewhere, and two guards appeared out of thin air… and that’s how the Evans Family got banned from the MOS for six months.”

Lucy wheezed as she laughed, trying to control her breathing. “Poor Shanna! You and your brother were not kind with your sisters uh?”

“We’re vicious sometimes.” He agreed. “But we’re also very protective, I got in trouble once because I bit a guy for pushing Carly off the swing set. Granted I was six at the time, but man, I drew blood and everything! Dad had to pay for his hospital visit and I lost dessert rights for a month.”

He pouted, making Lucy giggle.

“Your family sounds amazing Chris! Are you guys doing something special for Christmas?”

“Mom’s hosting a huge party this year, so the whole family will be there. Lots of Evans and Capuanos, plenty of food and booze, games, I live for those parties, they are my favorite, so much love going on. Big breakfast in the morning, let them go crazy opening presents, then we take the kids sledding or to ice skate on a pond nearby and then we all gather to the party. How about you?”

“That sounds lovely. It’s just the immediate family this Christmas for us. Mamma insists on having all her kids there at least every other year, it’s a deal she makes with all in-laws when they become family.” She paused. Lucy was the only one who had never taken a boyfriend to one of their gatherings. She had mastered the art of ignoring the looks of pity her family sent her way every time she arrived alone, dodging questions about her failed love life now second nature. “We don’t have many relatives in America, mamma being Italian and Dad from Scotland, so we kinda created our own family traditions; we decorate cookies on the 24th, mamma chooses the Yule log, and we sit around talking about our year while listening to the Beatles and drinking wine. Then on Christmas Day we go ice skating, hold the ‘Annual Seabrook Snowman Challenge’, which I suck at by the way, and consume way too much wine and crostoli.”

“I love crostoli, my mom never got the recipe right from her grandma so hers it’s not so great… But I’ll deny it to my grave if you ever tell her I said that.” He tapped the end of her nose, making her giggle. “It’s been such a long time since I had them though.”

“Mom makes a ton of them to give the neighbors as gifts, I’ll save you some and send them back with Penny.”

“That’d be awesome, thank you.” He ran a hand through her hair and brought her closer, intending to kiss her. His lips almost touch her when a group of kids no older than six-year-old breezes by them, screaming ewwww and making kissing noises. “I guess you got cooties.”

They giggle and separate, but he clasps her hand while they toured the winding paths.

Walking further into the garden they got to a small section where hundreds of white or blue butterflies floated over the flowers, enjoying a rare ray of sun that filtered from the glass ceiling above. Chris took his phone out from his front pocket and handed it over to Lucy before embracing her, arms closing around her front and pulling her closer, her back molded to his front. She shivered at the full body contact and had trouble opening the camera app. Searching for the best angle, she took a couple of pictures of them surrounded by the clouds of wings, including one where a blue butterfly sat on Chris’ shoulders and Lucy had a surprised look on her face, which quickly become their favorite.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the museum will close in ten minutes.”

The voice over the intercom made them both jump, and Chris looked at the clock.

“Wow, it’s almost six already?” He looked surprised.

“Are you serious?” Lucy couldn’t believe how fast the day had gone by.

Yesterday had been amazing, all the teasing leading to a frenzied and amazing night of sex but if she had to choose her favorite time with Chris had been today. There were no awkward moments, not long silences where they didn’t know what to say to each other. As much as she was pressed not call it a date at the beginning, there was no denying today had been exactly that. And she loved every second of it.

Now came the hard part, letting go of Chris and going back to her own life.

“At least it’s not snowing yet, roads should be clear.” He talked absently. Chris scratched his beard appearing to miles away from the museum already and Lucy tried not to let it bother her.

The escalator had a line and the elevator was for seniors, pregnant women and people in need of assistance, so they took the stairs, keeping closer to the wall as to not draw much attention.

He picked up her left hand, drawing patterns on her palm before twisting their fingers together while they descended the stairs to get to the garage. Lucy noticed how touch drove he had been the entire day, always reaching out to her, holding her hand while they walked, circling her waist while they waited in line for tickets. It occurred to her he would distance himself from her while they were in public and she understood why he would do it but in a deeper level, she was elated when he didn’t. She thought back to that morning’s conversation; I won’t shy away from someone I care about’, and her heart skipped a beat. Could he care about her in a more permanent way than a one-night stand? She shook her head. No, that wasn’t possible, right?

Then how you would explain your own feelings? Her heart had terrible timing, as always. Okay, so maybe today had been better than good. I was a fucking great day okay, could you at least own up to that? And Lucy couldn’t argue because it really had been that.

At least she’d had the memories of their time together, the last thirty hours had been incredible, and she knew a smile would always accompany those memories, no matter what happened from now on.

They got to the garage after a few minutes, people shuffling around them to get to their cars as quickly as possible. They walked fast, not bothering with their coats, just wanting to get inside his car. Lucy was really looking forward to sliding against the heated leather seats.

“Fuck, it’s cold!” Chris exclaimed pulling her along. His wide stride made her almost run after him, air leaving her mouth in smalls white clouds as she breathed out. He hit his key fob a few meters before they reached the car and engine came to life with a hum. He opened the door for her, and she placed a sweet kiss on his cheek before getting inside. Chris quickly went around to the driver’s seat and moaned when the heated air hit his skin. “Oh, much better.”

“Do you think Audi would sell me just one of these seats? The heating at the studios sucks, I’d love to have one of these for my office!” She wriggled happily in her seat.

“Or you could buy a proper office chair that does the same thing?” He pointed at her when he got behind the wheel. Soft jazz music filled the air around them when he turned the key, the melodic sound swirling around them.

“Uhm I could, but then I couldn’t tell people how I convinced fucking Audi to make me a custom chair. Now that’s a story.” She chuckled and turned on her seat, facing him.

“So buy a chair, slap an Audi sticker to the back of it and tell the story anyway, how ‘bout that?”

“Uhm… There’s an idea.”

He laughed. “Why are we discussing this particular one anyway?”

“’ Cuz there’s like a hundred cars trying to leave at the same time and we’re stalling?”

“Such a smart girl.” Chris reached over the console and picked up her hand, playing with her rings. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really.”

He nodded and concentrated on the traffic inside the garage, managing to get out and merge into the exit lane, all with one hand, the other still holding hers.

Why in the world did she say she wasn’t hungry when he asked? She wasn’t, that was true, but they could have gone somewhere to just talk, she could have a few more moments with him and now she blew it. God, she was stupid. She thumped her head in the back seat, cursing herself. Was it too late to say something, hey, changed my mind, let’s go grab a pizza or something.

She kept her body turned to him as he drove, a leg bent on the seat, studying his profile, the little bump on his nose, the mole on his left cheek, how his beard was not dark blond but auburn like Penny’s hair. She wanted to commit it all to memory so she could relive it once she got back home. Maybe daydream about not being a fucking coward and ask him to take her back to his place instead of back to Garrets.

They drove in silence for the next ten minutes, the only sounds inside the car coming from the speakers. He pulled to the curb of Garret’s house and Chris killed the engine, turning to Lucy. She felt the intensity of his gaze while she studied his face, waiting for his final words. This was it. He would thank her for a good time, say she was a nice girl and send her away.

Was it even possible to have feelings for someone you’d met in person just the day before? Maybe it was just some leftover infatuation from the night before? Sure, she had heard of him from Garret and Penny, they were practically his personal cheerleader squad, but meeting Chris had been a whole different experience. She couldn’t remember the last time she’s had so much fun with a man. It wasn’t just the sex, which by the way had blown her mind after twenty plus months of celibacy, but how he’d made her feel like the most important person in the world when he talked to her, how he listened with his whole body, really paying attention to what she was talking about. How he laughed at her jokes, cracking up with that adorable and dorkable laugh of his. He had cut through her walls and her fears with his witty banter and a charming personality and she had been impotent to resist him. She liked everything about him. She was falling for the guy.

No.

She had already fallen.

The realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

Stupid, silly girl. Why on earth would someone like him ever want more than a one-time thing with the likes of her?

She screamed at that poisonous voice to shut up, she didn’t want to hear it today. She concentrated on the affirmations Doctor Clark had given her.

She was worth it; she was not perfect but every being deserved love.

She was happy with her body; maybe she wasn’t a size four or even a six, but she was stylish, some days she would be so bold as to call herself sexy.

She was a good person; a loving friend, a kind person, a passionate lover,

She was deserving of love.

She closed her eyes, exhaling slowly, willing away all bad thoughts, breathing in and out, centering herself.

Maybe not his love, but he had awakened something inside her, if Captain America himself thought she was worthy of his time, that voice surely must be wrong.

“Lucy?”

She opened her eyes and leaned forward, resting her hand on his knee.

“Thank you for an amazing time, Chris. I haven’t had this much fun in quite a few years.”

She kissed his cheek, lingering just one second more. Unbuckling her seatbelt, she moved to open the door.

“What, no, Lucy wait.” He hit the lock button, breathing rapidly. “Just wait, give a man a moment to breathe, will ya’?”

“Chris?” She tilted her head, watching as he took deep breathes, counting on his fingers while murmuring what looked like affirmations, much the same she did earlier.

“Sorry, I had to run a few scenarios in my head. A trick my therapist taught me for when I get anxious.” He explained, tangling the fingers of one of their hands and pulling her to him, kissing her square in the mouth. “None of that cheek kissing thing alright?” he pleaded when he released her.

“Alright?” she had no idea what to answer so she nodded instead.

“Good, good. We had a great day together, didn’t we?” his free hand reached for a stray lock of her hair, twirling it between his fingers.

“I believe I thanked you for it already.” She looked nonplussed at him.

“That you did baby.” He kissed her again, this time biting her lower lip. “What if this wasn’t the end of that time?”

“Chris?”

“What if instead of dropping you here, you get out, get your bags and go home with me?” his clears eyes shone with hope and he licked his lips, waiting.

“You know we leave after lunch, right, I told you that.” Her heart was speeding up and she was sure he could feel her hands getting clammy. Was he really asking her to spend the night again?

“That would give us more,” he checked his watch, “eighteen more hours together.”

“Are you sure Chris? I’m okay with this being the end of our little rendezvous, I really liked the day we had.” She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth.

His smile vanished.

“Oh, unless you don’t want to, I can understand that.” He chewed on his lip, defeated.

“Unlock the door, Chris.”

“Okay.” He hit the button and bowed his head. “Can I… can I kiss you goodnight?”

“Yes, you can kiss me goodnight.” She opened the door but didn’t move, waiting for him to look up. “You can kiss me goodnight after I have my wicked way with you after we get back to your place.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes! I was beating myself up for not saying yes when you asked if I was hungry.”

His face broke up in a huge grin.

“We can eat, then go back home.”

“I just want to spend more time with you, I don’t care what we do.”

His lips were cold when she kissed him, the outside air rapidly entering the car, but neither cared, too lost in each other to bother closing the door.

“I’ll go grab my bags.” She said when they separated.

“Hurry up woman, we have just nineteen hours and fifty-five minutes left.”

She threw her head back and laughed, getting out of the car and running up the stairs.

“Hey Lucy?” he yelled from the lowered window. She turned to him, after knocking on Garret’s door. “I hope you don’t have plans to sleep tonight.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #143

“i’d rather be in battle than slaughtered like cattle.”

Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming?  Sad, I had separation anxiety from Mom. Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten?  No. Did you ever read the "Junie B. Jones" books?  LOVED THEM. Were you friends with your neighbors?  I was friends with a boy down the street. Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games?  YESSSSS I LOVED THE BIRTHDAY PARTY ONE. What kinds of games did you play with your friends during Recess?  None really, we just played on the swings and such. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid?  Chocolate. Who were you last in an elevator with?  Mom. Do you know anyone that has a black belt in karate?  No. If you have a notepad in your phone, what do you use it for the most?  I have tattoo ideas on it lmao. Who is the last child that you took a photo with?  Aubree. How and where did you get your most recent cut?  On the side of my hand.  I was drying my feet off after a shower, and my toenail cut the fuck out of it. ;-;  Pretty sure the scar's gonna be permanent. Would you ever get a nature tattoo?  Yeah, sure. Do you have any locked texts messages?  A few from Sara. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname?  My sisters are just "Ash" and "Nicky." Which company provides your car insurance?  I don't have my own car. Have you ever ordered from an informercial?  Nope. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin?  Tattoo parlor in June to get a tattoo. Why did your last relationship end?  I didn't like him like that, I found. Do you have any tan lines?  No. Have you ever had any friends with benefits?  No. How old were you when you became financially independent from your parents?  Lol I'm not. What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip?  Ummmm probs salt and vinegar. Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone?  No. What was the hardest language you’ve ever tried to learn?  What the super fuck even is Latin. Do you have any food intolerances or allergies?  No.  Well, without my medicine, bananas give me hellish heartburn. What’s the most number of people you’ve ever lived with?  Five.  Mom, Dad, two immediate sisters, and on different occasions my half-brother lived with us, then Dad's daughter stayed here a while. How many college degrees do you want?  Ideally, a master's because that's what is required to be an out-in-the-field zoologist.  I can do some things with lower ones, though. What do you look forward to most in the next two months?  Photographing my first wedding, my nephew's and mom's birthdays, going to see Sara in a little over two. What song explains how you feel about love?  "When It's Love" by Van Halen will always be way up there. Have you ever been IN a wedding?  Yeah, bridesmaid at Ash's. Have you ever been covered in mud?  Probably as a kid? Are there any books you wanna read?  I'm always gonna wanna read Rhett and Link's book, and I wanna start reading Wings of Fire 'cuz it sounds like something I'd like, thanks Sara. What classes are you taking in school? I'm not back in it yet. What is the last song you attempted to play on an instrument? I don't remember.  I took my guitar out months upon months ago to try and mess wi- OH, it was "Sweet Child O' Mine," and it went down horribly lmao. Could you handle being married to the last person you kissed?  That's the plan, buddy. Do you crack your knuckles?  No. How do you react when people sing “happy birthday” to you in a restaurant?  Get really shy and look down, but can't help but smile. Ever been shot by a paintball gun?  No. Have you ever had a significant other with a mental disorder?  Yes. Are you a moaner, a screamer, or totally silent?  The first. Have you ever tried Nutella?  I love that shit. Are there any activities which are “meant for children” that you still enjoy?  Yeah, movies, shows, games... Is there anything you wish you had started doing when you were younger that would have had an impact on or would have helped you with your life today?  Yeah.  I should've worked on social skills way sooner.  I should've fought back younger. Can you read lips?  Not at all. Are you part of any online communities? If so, which ones, and how did you get involved in them?  Only really KM, and because I've been in the meerkat RP community since '05. When vacuuming, do you have a set pattern or do you go willy-nilly?  Somewhat of a pattern. What’s your favorite kind of bread?  Pumpernickel. Who’s your favorite Muppet?  I don't have one. What’s your favorite monster? (can be Monsters Inc, horror films, stories, or myths, whatever)  Probably the Jersey Devil or Mothman.  Or the Dover Demon.  I like cryptozoological stuff okay. Have you ever considered shaving your head? Have you shaved it?  Noooooo. Have you ever seen a polar bear in person?  Yeah, at zoos. What’s your favorite school yard game? (4-Square, Kick the Can, etc)  I think it was called 4-Square... but I'm not sure. Have you ever boycotted anything?  No. Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life?  Um you have no idea. Are you against smoking weed?  Yeah tbh.  However I know there's lots of evidence coming out proving some of its medical uses, but I'm still kinda.  Unsure about medical marijuana. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about your feelings?  Sara. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst?  Jason. Who were you dating this time last year?  Girt. Have you ever smoked pot?  I've only ever been in the presence of people smoking it. Are your ears gauged?  No. Have you ever played beer pong?  No. Do you believe that you are a good girlfriend or boyfriend?  I sure hope so. Would you hug your ex again?  A couple I would. Do you like to climb trees?  I wouldn't know. Name your three closest friends.  Sara, Colleen, then probably Alex?  Although she hasn't been talking to me lately. What is the best kind of Girl Scout cookie?  I loved the chocolate and PB ones. Do you like it or hate it when your partner is clingy?  To a degree, I like it.  Shows they really do care. What kind of jelly do you buy?  Grape. Is your dad overweight?  He's underweight. Do you know all the words to “Don’t Trust Me” by 3oh!3?  I don't feel like playing it in my head but maybe 'cuz that song was my shit. What movies have you cried to?  Oh yeesh, I'm a fucking baby.  The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, Old Yeller, Logan, The Outsiders, Titanic, The Hunger Games (I think), and how could I almost forget Forrest Gump.  I knoooow there's more tho. Do you love substitute teachers?  No.  We would sit around doing nothing. Does your personality generally fall in line with gender stereotypes?  Not really? What’s your favorite movie soundtrack?  Off the top of my head, maybe Blair Witch Project 2: Book of Shadows. If you could own any 3 fictional objects from any book/movie/show, what would you choose? (does not have to all be from the same book/movie/show)  I legitimately want to commission someone to make a wooden model of Lord Emon's mask from Shadow of the Colossus.  I want so much SotC stuff, but shit expensive man.  Ummm having the Seal of Metatron from SH3 would be an awesome lil collectable.  OH YEAH and why the hell not have a hearthstone from WoW so I can go home in a jiffy whenever I want. :'D How far away do you live from the last place you lived?  Like... 10-15 minutes? Do you know anyone who’s had their kids taken by Child Protective Services?  No. You’re in a food court, what do you feel like eating?  Pizza, probably. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk?  Yes, my younger sister.  She legit tried to go outside, but I obviously stopped her (I was the only one in the room). Have you ever thought about getting your tongue pierced?  Yes, and I would if I didn't have a damn retainer. If you had to move in with a friend, which one would you pick?  I'd move in with Sara any day. How does alcohol affect you?  Okay so I handle alcohol extremely well so I've never seen serious changes... but I do know if I'm tipsy, I'm more talkative and outgoing.  I don't think my face flushes anymore. When was the last time you had a cold or flu?  Holy shit I couldn't tell you for a cold.  I've never had the flu, thankfully. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation?  Girt and I watched a few episodes.  It wasn't bad, but the fact still stands that I can't really get into TV. What is your favorite kind of pasta?  Typical spaghetti and meatballs. What color is your shampoo?  Pink. Is there a special someone in your life right now?  Yes. If so, tell me your favorite thing about their personality and their looks:  She's strong as fuck and her smile's to die for. Ever made a guy cry?  Yeah. Has a guy ever made you cry?  For over a year straight lmao. What’s the worst goodbye you’ve ever had to say?  To Jason. What make up product do you never use? It'd be easier to tell you only what I do use.  I only ever wear eyeliner and then sometimes eye shadow, mascara, lipstick, and very rarely foundation. What is one place you have been to and hated?  Uhhhh idk. Have you ever seen a jellyfish?  In aquariums, yes.  So majestic. Did anyone ever draw on your face when you were sleeping? No. Have you ever done that to someone else?  No. Were you ever chased by an animal?  Only pets playfully. Have you ever started talking to someone that you thought was someone else?  Omfg I did this a good number of months back at the tat parlor and the embarrassment will stay with me forever. Name one person of the same sex as you that you wouldn’t mind dating? Okay so I'm not gonna be a smartass and say "my girlfriend," I'll actually answer this as if we weren't together.  I'd date Suzy Hanson in a heartbeat, come at me Arin.  Fuckin sweetheart. Do you know any vegans?  No. What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)?  Sara: Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, Buster, Mabel, Doris.  Idk the toads' and fishes' names yet.  Colleen: Miracle and Maxwell. When was the last time you were disappointed?  Two or so days ago, real bad.  Mom put aside buying the concert tickets regardless of how many times I reminded her, and now we can't go. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not my thing. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work?  No job. Do you see yourself married in the next five years?  Probably at least engaged.  Maybe married.

[artificialqueens]

Mesmerized (Biadore) - Miss Bianca

A/N: This is my first time submitting, even though I have experience with fanfic from other fandoms. I saw the requests for biadore in the asks, and I wanted some too, so I just…did it.

This is m/m (no smut though), and set in this universe. I just added Bianca to the 2016 BOTS Europe tour because I loved that cast and time period, so imagine that. I use both drag and non-drag names and male and female pronouns, depending on whether they’re in drag or not. Hope y'all like it, and I’d love feedback! Thanks guys. - Miss Bianca 

Bianca isn’t a maid.

She repeats that to herself in her head, determined, even as she picks up Adore’s shoes and dresses from the floor of their shared hotel room. It’s a half hour before they’re supposed to be on the elevator heading to the van, and she’s already in full drag, minus her heels.

Danny, however, is not. He’s been awake for all of ten minutes, and has been showering for eight of those. Of course, he’d forgotten that they were performing in the hotel theater this time, and getting ready in their rooms beforehand.

With a long sigh, Bianca peers in the mirror, patting the side of her wig and hoping that there won’t be any loose hairs by the time she’s done cleaning. The makeup strewn over Adore’s side of the counter below the mirror is a mess, and after a moment Bianca starts organizing that too, her hands itching for activity.  

The compulsive organizer in her is at her most active when she’s stressed, and everything about the BOTS tours is stressful, from the reckless behavior of her younger ‘sisters’ to the constant traveling and Danny’s unrealistic sleeping habits.

Basically, her past month or so has been a nearly nonstop buzz of anxiety and stress. It’s almost always there. And that’s why she’s cleaning compulsively.

“You’re not a maid,” she reminds herself firmly, out loud this time.

Perfectly on cue, the bathroom door cracks open and Danny’s head pokes out, hair wet, a grin on his face.

“Nah, you’re like a little housewife or something,” he comments, and Bianca glares at him. “What? It’s a great look on you.”

“Get dressed, bitch,” Bianca snaps, flipping him off. “You’re making me late.”

Danny laughs, his nose scrunching up, and then the bathroom door clicks closed. Bianca flips Adore’s eyeshadow cases shut, and sweeps all of the lipsticks into her hand before setting them neatly upright against the wall.

There’s no point to any of this, she realizes. In a few minutes, Danny’s going to paw through his shoes and makeup as he transforms into Adore for the night, and a mess is going to be left on the counter and the floor just like it was last night, and the night before.

And Bianca will come back to the room first, drunk, and look at the mess, and then fall asleep as soon as she’s de-dragged. And then, she’ll have unsettling dreams about the mess swallowing up the whole room, until she can’t find anything and she’s late to all of her shows.  

Bianca figures Danny’s a great roommate other than the messiness, though.

Well, aside from the weird sleep habits and the faint but neverending smell of weed that hovers around him and the constant connection with his phone screen. And the pizza boxes that manage to show up in the room most nights, sometime between when Roy goes to sleep and Danny does.

So really, he’s not a great roommate at all.

But there’s something about him that calms her down, with the way he talks and touches her casually. At least, when he’s not too busy stressing her out by being late.

To be fair, there’s no one outside of the ABCDs of drag that Bianca would be able to tolerate sharing space with anyway. And Darienne’s not on the tour cast. And Bianca doesn’t trust Courtney not to bring men back to the room at night.

That leaves Danny, the most tolerable.

Also Bianca’s (and Roy’s) favorite, even though she’d never say it out loud. Mostly because Danny would probably tweet about it, or put something on snapchat, or bring it up in every single conversation for the rest of their lives.

She thinks Danny knows, though. Adore can get away with murder around Bianca, and she’s probably the only person in the world who can. Someone’s bound to notice sooner or later that she’s Bianca’s soft spot.

The bathroom door swings open, and Danny stumbles out sleepily, wearing a loose, low-cut dress that will inevitably make Michelle Visage fume all night.

“Hurry up,” Bianca says pointlessly, and Danny flips her off with a grin before sitting down in front of the mirror and knocking over all of his lipsticks as he reaches for foundation.

Shaking her head, Bianca perches on the edge of her bed, eyeing the uncomfortable heels that she’s going to be wearing all night. The whole room is neat, with nothing left for her to tidy, and her pulse is faster than it should be, body stiff with nerves and stress.

“I need a drink,” she mutters.

“No, you don’t,” Danny argues. “You need to stop drinking when you’re stressed.”

“You need to stop making me stressed, bitch.”

“It’s not my fault that you’re high strung,” Danny shrugs. “Anyways, I’m just trying to look out for you. You always do for me.”

“You left a half hour to get ready for a drag show, like a fucking idiot,” Bianca retorts instantly, the words coming out a bit harsher than she intends. Danny glances at her in the mirror, hurt showing in his eyes, and Bianca winces. “You don’t get to mother me, is what I meant,” she says, her voice quieter.

“Whatever.”

“I don’t wanna pay the minibar fees anyway,” Bianca adds.

Danny doesn’t reply, and Bianca’s heart rate jumps again as she inevitably starts to fret that she’s actually upset him. Danny is sensitive, even more so out of the armor that is Adore, and Bianca suspects that something in him really thinks that she means it whenever she insults him. It’s why she tries not to.

She clenches her hands into fists, her eyes closing for a moment. He was only trying to look out for her, and she’d had to go and snap at him. He wasn’t even wrong, which was the worst part. She did need to drink less.

“We can just get shots at the bar before the show,” she suggests, an attempt at a peace offering, but Danny only shrugs.

Swallowing, Bianca thinks for a moment. She slides off of her bed, walking over to where Adore’s wigs are laying in bags, and rifles through them for a moment with shaky, nervous hands, before one catches her eye.

In a few moments, the wig is set on her spare mannequin. It’s the blonde one with the dark roots that Adore had had since drag race, not even a lace-front, but still one of Bianca’s favorites. She grabs a comb and a can of hairspray, and starts fixing the wig as quickly as she can, teasing up the curls.

When she glances over at Danny, he’s been replaced almost entirely by Adore, staring at her own face in the mirror. Bianca watches as she sets the eyelashes in place, and reaches for a nude lipliner, leaning in close as she draws the familiar lines.

She goes to reach for a nude lipstick, but Bianca steps closer and grabs a lighter one instead. Adore frowns, confused.

“This’ll go better with the wig,” Bianca explains, and Adore peers past her, a small smile growing on her lips as she sees the wig that Bianca’s done for her on the dresser.

“Thanks,” Adore says, looking up at Bianca, eyes wide and surprised.  

“No problem,” Bianca responds easily, her nerves calmed a bit as she sees the affection growing again in Adore’s eyes.

A few minutes later, Adore is securing her wig, tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth as she checks herself over one last time in the mirror.

“You’re gorgeous, come on,” Bianca says impatiently, hovering by the door with her bag over her shoulder.

“I know,” Adore drawls, turning to the side and checking out her own ass. “Let me feel my -”

“Don’t,” Bianca interrupts with a laugh. “Shut up and get over here.”

Rolling her eyes, Adore steps into her heels and follows Bianca out the door. As they walk towards the elevator, Adore takes her hand, squeezing, and Bianca knows she’s forgiven.

The warm weight of Adore’s hand in hers is calming, holding her steady and secure, soothing the fluttering of her heartbeat.

“Hey, Bea?”

“Hmm?”

“Why does it take you, like, forever to get in drag?”

“Bitch, how many times do I gotta tell you?” Bianca shakes her head, looking up at Adore incredulously. “I put my dick under the wig, that’s how I get the height. You think that shit happens quickly?”

Adore laughs, and Bianca rolls her eyes. She knows Adore’s heard that joke a hundred times by now, and it has to be some kind of miracle that she still thinks it’s funny.

“Okay, but, seriously. Why?”

“Are you calling me a liar, Adore Delano?’

“No, c’mon! I wanna know!” Adore’s half whining now, her eyes slightly squinted as she grins.

The elevator doors open, and Bianca pulls Adore inside.

“Listen,” Bianca says finally. “We can’t all roll out of bed fifteen minutes before call time and wobble around like the little mermaid right after she got her legs, okay? Some of us have to have their shit together.”

“That wasn’t supposed to be an insult, right?” Adore drawls. “Because I’m literally a mermaid.”

“Mmhm, yeah, yeah.”

“Straight from the ocean, bitch.”

“Shut it, fishtail.” Bianca rolls her eyes.

“You looooove me,” Adore teases in a low voice. She’s pressed herself closer to Bianca’s side, and her lips are right by her ear, the sensation raising goosebumps on Bianca’s chest.

“You’re a whore, get off me,” Bianca retorts halfheartedly, and Adore only laughs breathily before pressing her lips softly to Bianca’s cheek. Bianca’s eyes flutter shut.

The gentle kiss only lasts a moment, but it’s long enough that Bianca swears she can still feel the imprint of Adore’s lips burning on her skin after she pulls away. Bianca shivers, and Adore squeezes her hand again, pulling her back down to earth.

“You better not have gotten lipstick on me, queen,” Bianca warns after a moment. 

“I didn’t!” Adore insists.

Bianca’s about to make a snarky comment, but the elevator comes to a stop, the doors opening to let in Violet and Katya.

“Vies!” Adore exclaims, and then her hand isn’t in Bianca’s anymore and she’s surging forwards to cling to Violet instead. And like clockwork, as soon as Adore and her attention are gone, Bianca starts to feel anxious again.

“Hey, babe,” Violet laughs, stumbling back a few steps and wrapping an arm tight around Adore’s waist. “Chill for a sec, I’m cinched really tight and I might fall over.”

Sighing, Bianca leans back against the wall of the elevator, pointedly looking away from the two younger queens. They’re always touchy with each other, in a way that’s close to being sexual, almost all of the time.

Bianca knows it probably doesn’t mean anything, but it pisses her off to no end regardless. Particularly when Violet pulls Adore away from her side, like now.

The elevator hits the ground floor, and Adore and Violet exit first, still tangled up. Bianca stalks out after them, wishing she could set Violet on fire with the force of her glares, her heels clicking angrily against the marble floor.

After a moment, a shoulder bumps against hers, pulling her out of her vengeful thoughts. She turns to see Katya next to her, wearing a dress printed with knives and smiling brightly, as always.

“Violet asks if I wanna fuck most nights, you know,” Katya says conversationally.

“Who would’ve thought,” Bianca deadpans, and Katya laughs, completely unfazed by her bitterness. They follow Adore and Violet through a door at the edge of the lobby, walking down the dimly lit corridor to backstage.

“I almost said yes one time, but I’m glad I didn’t,” Katya continues. “I think her hungry asshole might’ve swallowed me up. Fully.”

Bianca glances at her, and Katya only grins wider.

“You’re crazy,” Bianca says observationally.

“Certified psychopath, mama,” Katya agrees. “But listen.”

“I am listening, bitch.”

“The point is that Violet’s always like that,” Katya continues, more seriously. “It’s got nothing to do with Adore. Shit, if you didn’t act like you hated her, she’d probably be in your lap right now doing her best to pop your tuck.”

When Bianca looks at her again, Katya’s eyes are softer than usual. There’s something so infinitely wise about them that Bianca feels almost like a child throwing a tantrum next to her, instead of a forty year old man in a wig.  

For a moment, she wonders if Katya’s somehow read her mind, and is trying to comfort her somehow with this bizarre bit of oversharing.

“So she’s a whore, is what you’re saying,” Bianca says after a moment to lighten the mood, raising an eyebrow as they come to a stop outside the green room.

“Absolutely. Straight up hooker, gila monster, herpes-ridden -”

“I get it,” Bianca cuts her off with a laugh. “Fuck, two hookers in one hotel room. Reception must be busy calling you about your customers all night.”

“Yes gawd!” The corners of Katya’s eyes crinkle with delight as Bianca joins in on her joke. “Don’t fret about it, Barbara. I know who Vi stalks on instagram at three AM, and it’s not Adore.”

Katya pats Bianca’s arm before heading down the hallway towards the stage.

“Wait, who is it?” Bianca calls after her, a moment too late, just as she rounds the corner and disappears from view. “Fuck you!”

With a sigh, Bianca steps into the green room, pushing past Sharon and Jinkx and quickly finding an empty seat in front of the mirror.

“Hey, pussyface,” Courtney chirps.

“Hey, Court.”

Bianca falls easily into mindless chatter with Courtney and Jinkx, eating up the time before the show.

They’ve been touring for awhile, and by now, the show is routine enough that Bianca hardly even has to think the whole way through. She watches from the wings and goes through the motions for her segments.

It’s not until Adore covers Purple Rain, near the end of the show, that Bianca actually starts paying attention. The performance pulls Bianca out of her bad mood, and she watches, mesmerized, the emotion in Adore’s voice moving enough to tug at even Bianca’s cold, dead heart.

When Adore leaves the stage, magnetic and burning with emotion, her gaze moves quickly over the collection of queens watching before fixing on Bianca.

She makes a beeline for her, brushing away the tears forming in her eyes from her performance before falling into Bianca’s open arms with a breathless laugh.

Bianca wraps her up in a hug, holding her tightly, sighing as she feels her body relax. Adore, on the other hand, is shaky in her arms, buzzing with energy from the electric crowd and her leftover high from smoking earlier.

“That was fucking incredible, Adore,” Bianca breathes.

“Best performance I’ve ever seen you do,” Courtney adds from next to them.

“Just Violet left, and then the finale,” Adore comments, still slightly out of breath. “Then we can go get drunk?”

“I’ll buy the shots,” Bianca confirms.

Adore doesn’t leave her side again for hours after that, hovering around her during the finale and following her like a puppy to the noisy bar across the street. Courtney and Violet and Sharon are there, too, but Bianca hardly notices them, too distracted by Adore’s constant closeness.

And once the alcohol starts to set in, Bianca stops trying to divide her attention among the other queens and focuses solely on Adore. The way that Adore looks at her when she’s listening to her talk makes Bianca want to tell her stories all night, and when Adore pulls her off of her stool and tries to dance with her, Bianca doesn’t resist.

At some point, Bianca can’t remember exactly when, Adore lets her go and leaves the group to dance with somebody else. That’s the last time Bianca sees her.

After that, Bianca’s priorities shift, and suddenly she needs to be blackout drunk, as if the alcohol can compensate for Adore while she’s gone.

And if she’s not blackout drunk, she knows she’ll start thinking about what Adore will probably be doing later tonight, and she’s determined to avoid that at all costs.

The last thing she remembers before everything goes dark is Katya out of drag with his arm around her waist in the elevator. He’s talking about wind-surfing on a beach, and then he’s gone and Michelle is looking concerned as she drags Bianca down a hotel hallway.

Then there’s nothing.

——

Roy isn’t worried.

Really. Worried isn’t even close to the right word for what he’s feeling right now. A more accurate one might be exasperated. Or infuriated, if he wants to get dramatic about it. There’s nothing about Bianca that isn’t extreme, so why not go there?

It’s two PM, and Adore is still passed out facedown on her bed in last night’s wig that Roy had picked out for her, ripped up tights and dress clinging to her sprawled form.

Roy has been up for hours, long enough to shower and eat and drink his killer hangover away (with water and coffee, not more alcohol, as a still worried-looking Michelle insisted) and even go out shopping with Courtney.

And after all that time Adore is still here, knocked out.

Roy isn’t really surprised by this, in any way. It’s normal behavior for Adore, in or out of drag. It’s more the unknown series of events that led to her collapsing in a heap on the messy hotel bed, without even taking off that wig, that bothers him.

The last time he remembers seeing her was through a low level haze of alcohol, when she was wrapped around Bianca’s back at the bar with her lips parted beside Bianca’s ear. Just before she’d left to go dance with somebody else.

Shaking off the memory, Roy glares at Adore. He’ll brush the wig later, he decides. There’s no way to trust that Danny’s going to, and he likes it too much on her to let her ruin it.

As Roy stares at Adore, wondering how she can manage to sleep like a starfish and a dead porcupine at the same time, he starts to wish he’d tried to keep an eye on her after she’d left them. He doesn’t like to think about what bullshit she gets up to, and he tries not to care, either, but he can’t help worrying sometimes.

After all, she’s his roommate. There’s a sense of responsibility in that, he figures. Like somehow, if she winds up dead in an alley somewhere, it’ll be his fault for not hauling her faded ass back to the hotel.

He’d blame himself forever if anything happened to her, even if nobody else did. He’s sure about that.

Roy’s not even sure he could lift her. Drag isn’t a career that requires upper body strength. But he’d definitely put in an effort to carry Adore, if he had to.

Sighing, Roy crosses his arms over his chest and glares at the back of Adore’s head.

They don’t have anything to do this morning, but Roy’s been awake for long enough to organize everything on his side of the room again.

But Adore’s side of the room, which Roy had just cleaned the day before, looks like the aftermath of a terrorist attack. Or like the site of an all-night orgy, which would explain the clothing that Roy doesn’t recognize.

He knows he’s not a heavy enough sleeper to have missed something like that, but he has to wonder why Adore never wears half of the shit that the floor is currently wearing.

There’s more pairs of shoes strewn on the floor than Roy’s ever seen on Danny or Adore. Clothes that she’s probably planning on performing in are in piles, and the makeup supplies in front of the mirror are in a messy heap again, as if Roy had never put in the effort to line them up so perfectly.

It’s at times like these, when he’s annoyed and worried and bored, that Roy wonders why exactly he’d asked to room with someone who lives in such a dramatically different way than him. It’s like she creates mess, wherever she goes, just by walking into the room.

With a sigh, Roy gives in to the urge to stress clean. He stands up briskly and strides across the room, crouching to start lining Adore’s shoes up against the wall. Again.

Adore’s shoes are organized by style in no time, and Roy promptly moves on to the suitcase worth of clothing that seems to have exploded onto the carpet.

Sighing, he crouches, shaking out a t-shirt and folding it quickly in the air before setting it beside him and moving on to another. The organizing is almost relaxing for him, the familiar movements and the way it occupies his brain just enough to keep him from going crazy from inactivity and stress.

Roy grabs the last item of clothing on the floor, a red bra. Turning his head to the side to crack his neck, he surveys the three stacks of clothing - shirts, pants, and the dresses and underclothes. Satisfied, he lifts them one by one into Adore’s open suitcase and pushes it back against the wall next to her shoes.

Another dramatic sigh later, he’s standing in front of the mirror, brushing loose eyeshadow off of the counter and picking up her lipstick tubes from where they’re scattered off to the side.

He sets the odd colors down first, and pauses on a bright red that he recognizes, smiling slightly. Twisting it up, he brushes a little onto the back of his thumb, and stares down at the red streak, feeling a tug in his chest.

Roy remembers this color.

It had been Adore’s favorite a couple of years back, when they’d been in the top three together. They’d spent hours at Adore’s apartment or Courtney’s in WeHo, the three of them on a couch or a bed, drinking and laughing and pointedly ignoring the fact that in just a few weeks, one of them would have a crown and a title and the other two wouldn’t.

Roy never spends time in drag when he doesn’t have to, but Adore likes it sometimes, keeping her girl face on for awhile longer. He remembers one night like that, when the three of them were lying close together in Courtney’s bed and laughing at her trade stories.

Roy didn’t know whether it was because of Courtney’s wine or the blunt Adore had smoked a few hours before, but with every few moments that passed, Adore had curled closer to him. Her cheek had moved from his bicep to his chest, a hand sliding slowly onto his stomach, her fingernails scratching at his skin through the insubstantial tank top he’d been wearing.

Every touch had made his body buzz, and somehow calmed his mind at the same time. He didn’t know how she did it, but over time he grew to crave it, almost like an addiction.

Adore probably doesn’t even remember the moment, but Roy thinks he must’ve burned all of it into his memory somehow. The heat of her pressed against his side, the light touches on his skin, the brush of her exhaled breaths across his chest.

She’d fallen asleep like that, snoring softly, Roy’s arm curled hesitantly around her. And when she’d finally woken up enough to let go of him the next morning, she’d left a smear of that bright red lipstick on his shirt.

Roy had complained halfheartedly, but Adore had only laughed, licked her thumb and tried in vain to wipe it away. Roy’s gaze had stayed caught on her parted lips, though, mesmerized by the way her tongue still poked out slightly.

Whenever he thinks about those weeks, Roy tries to block out how scared he was that whatever the three of them had might die out. That Courtney would win and leave Bianca and Adore for a life of glamour drag with more perfect queens behind her.

That Adore would win, and hit mainstream faster than any of them knew was possible, walk red carpets and live in a world that didn’t involve Roy. He could’ve lived with that, he thinks. She deserved it, and she had wanted it so badly that Roy had almost wished he could tell Ru to give her the crown instead.

His worst fear of all, though, had been that that he himself would win, and that Adore would resent him because of it. That she’d never get lipstick on his shirts, never make his chest ache when she laughed, never look at him in that special way that she did again.

Even though the crown had given him a ticket true success, Roy thinks he’d rather have Danny love him like he does than wear it even for a day.

And every time he sees him, or her, Roy is beyond grateful that having her and having success aren’t mutually exclusive.

The sound of a yawn behind him brings Roy back to the present, and he sets down the lipstick quickly.

Turning and stepping around to the side of her bed, Roy sees Adore’s head lifted slightly. Now that her face isn’t covered by her wig, Roy can see that her makeup is still partially intact, a bit smudged and melted but not awful.

“Bea?” she mumbles, eyes blinking open slowly.

“Good morning, asshole,” Roy replies, voice coming out softer and kinder than he intends. Trying to compensate for the lack of bite in his words, he crosses his arms and glares halfheartedly at Adore.

Her tongue darts out to run over her lips, still smudged with the remainders of her nude lipstick from the night before. One eye falls shut, her head turning to the side to rest on her arm as she looks up at Roy.

“What did I do?” she says after a moment. It comes out slow and sleepy and whiny, and Roy wants so badly to be annoyed by it, but he doesn’t have the heart.

His little trip down memory lane has made him weak for anything and everything Adore, and he can’t manage to deny how cute the whining is.

“It’s two thirty, Adore,” he replies, feeling the dimple in his cheek deepen as he half smiles at her despite himself. “You’re still in last night’s drag, you still smell a little like weed, and that poor wig looks like it was gang raped. So, I dunno, what did you do, exactly?”

There’s a pause, and Adore stares at him sleepily, tongue peeking out between her lips again. Then, she cracks a smile, bright eyes narrowing lazily.

“Aww, Bea, were you worried about me?” she teases. “You were, huh.”

“No, chola, not even a little,” Roy chuckles, smiling fully now. “I know you can take care of yourself.” He pauses, lips twitching, and Adore raises an eyebrow. “And at least five other fags, too,” Roy continues, grinning wider as Adore giggles sleepily. “Or was it six? I’d have to take a closer look at that wig.”

Adore’s nose scrunches up as she laughs, and Roy swallows hard as he watches her.

“Mmmm, I wanna nap,” she sighs once her giggles fade, cheek squished against her arm.

“Uh, no, bitch,” Roy argues. “You just woke up, get in the shower and get that shit off your face.”

Adore lifts her head again, and she’s pouting at him now.

“Don’t do that, you know puppy eyes don’t work on me,” Roy retorts.

He can’t help but notice her eyelash hanging partially off her lid as he looks at her, and he drops back down onto his knees next to the bed, scooting forward.

“Whatcha doing?”

“Hold still,” Roy says by way of reply, one hand coming up to hold her chin. Reaching up, he tugs her lashes off gently, folding them into his palm carefully to keep them intact.

Adore blinks rapidly a few times, and then shakes her head slightly. Roy pulls his hand back from her chin, where it had lingered a few moments longer than he intended. Without the lashes, Adore is more androgynous than ever, the lines between her and him growing blurred, like the edges of her eyeliner.

There’s a soft sigh, and Adore props her head up on her fist, blinking at up him with those gorgeous eyes.

They’re colored a sea glass green at first, but as Adore turns her chin slightly, the light hits them differently. Roy swears he sees blue tucked behind the green, hidden but bright enough to shine through in flecks, like gold dust in river water.

Roy doesn’t realize how close he’s gotten until Adore huffs out a quiet laugh, and he feels the air against his cheek. He pulls back a little then, catching the playful smile that curls on her lips.

Adore’s tongue pokes out slightly again, and a hand reaches up, fingertips brushing oh-so-gently over Roy’s cheekbone. Her eyes drop from her fingers to his mouth, and he can’t quite breathe. He’s not sure he remembers how.

She tugs her lower lip between her teeth, fingers running higher, up his temple to press lightly, dancing across his hairline.

There’s something mesmerizing in the way she touches him sometimes, Roy thinks. So hesitantly, softly, like he’s a wild animal, and if she’s not careful he might disappear and never get close enough to touch again.

Adore’s fingers drag back down, and her palm flattens gently against his cheek. Her grip hardens bit by bit, fingertips pressed into his skin, until she’s tugging him forwards slowly but surely, tongue sliding over her lower lip.

And maybe he is like a wild animal, Roy realizes. The instinct to bolt is there. He can feel it, tucked into his chest under the calm softness that Adore is pulling out of him like melting caramel with every tug of her fingers on his skin.

Adore’s eyes wander his face, her eyes dreamy but expression focused as she sighs warm air against his lips.

He’s so sure she’s going to kiss him, and he’s powerless to stop her, even if he wanted to.

And then, she doesn’t.

All of a sudden, her hand is moving away, and so is she, sliding back on the bed. Her head falls to rest on the pillow, and she looks at him, her eyes deep and soul-searching. He’s on the edge of panic, wondering if he’s fucked up, until she speaks.

“Come lay with me.”

She pats the spot where she’d been before. Roy opens his mouth to protest, but then she takes his hand and no sound comes out.

“I wanna look at you,” she adds, an adorable smile on her lips. “But I’m too sleepy to hold my head up.”

There’s a pause, and then Roy is smiling too as Adore tugs on his hand.

“C’mon, baby,” Adore urges.

Roy wants to come closer, of course he does, but it’s hard to move. How is he supposed to explain that when she looks at him like that, every muscle in his body forgets how to work?

Adore blinks slowly at him, and he forces himself to move, standing up unsteadily and toeing off his shoes. She won’t let go of his hand, his palm caught between her thumb and middle finger, and she tugs him forward again until he lays down next to her.

The space between them is small, and the closer he gets, the more Adore becomes just Danny with makeup. He supposes that’s all she is, though. She’s the only drag queen he’s ever been mesmerized by like this, and maybe it’s because she’s just the same with or without the face painted on.

Roy reaches up to slide his fingers along the hairline of her wig, tucking his thumb underneath to find the pins. Her hand comes up to join his, loosening the few that are still in place until the hair piece falls away behind her.

“There you are,” Roy murmurs, finally speaking, his voice a soft rasp.

Adore’s lips curl in a gentle smile, and he’s so, so beautiful.

“Bea,” he says, drawing out the syllable, moving Roy’s hand to rest on his waist.

“Yes, baby?”

“If I kissed you, would it mean anything?”

Roy swallows, searching Adore’s face slowly.

“Only if you want it to,” he says finally, and then Adore’s hand is cupping his jaw, thumb tucked gently into his dimple.

The tip of Adore’s tongue pokes out, his gaze falling slowly to Roy’s lips. Roy wants to move forwards and kiss him, but he’s useless under his touch, just waiting with his breath caught in his chest.

Adore’s fingers hook behind his jaw, and then he tugs Roy forwards, leaning in ever so slightly to press a feather-light kiss to his lower lip.

Roy’s lips part, a quick exhale flooding out of him at the spark of contact. His fingers dig into Adore’s side, and Adore gasps softly, catching his own lower lip between his teeth.

Adore’s beautiful eyes are narrowed slightly, and there’s a moment of complete stillness.

And then, he smiles slowly, his whole face shifting. It’s as if the sun’s finally coming out from behind the clouds, and Roy realizes in a second of breathless clarity that he’d do anything for him.

He opens his mouth slightly, about to put his thoughts into words, but Adore is leaning in again before he can, crushing their lips together and kissing him for real this time.

Roy’s kissed a lot of men in his lifetime, even men that he loved. Kissing everyone feels slightly different, he figures. But nothing has ever felt anything like this, like every press of Adore’s mouth breaks him wide open, like every inch of their bodies that touch double and triple in heat.

Like if Adore stops kissing him, he might pass out, crumpled on the bed as Adore breathes out the air he stole from Roy’s lungs like smoke.

And Adore does stop kissing him, too soon. He gasps in air, chest rising and falling quickly, and this feels better than being drunk, and he knows he’s hooked now.

Adore’s fingers brush over Roy’s cheek, then wander back to stroke gently through his hair, and Roy is useless again, immobilized and vulnerable under his touch.

“Did that mean something?” Roy manages to murmur once he’s caught his breath, his hand on Adore’s back now.

There’s a pause, as Adore’s fingers tease through his hair. The soothing touches ease the anxiety that was starting to build up in Roy’s chest, and his arm tightens around Adore, pulling him closer as if he might drift away.

Adore chuckles softly, his lips curling in a smile.

“Yeah,” he says finally, crossing the few inches between them to press another kiss to Roy’s lips. “Everything.”