#wife trying to Kill Me

[p1tstop]

[dootznbootz]

Yes, Odysseus was "Defending what's his" and "reclaiming his kingship, riches, and masculinity" during the killing of the suitors but Leiodes' death shows how it was also still very much personal and about Penelope.

Then Leiodes ran out, grabbed Odysseus’s knee,                                   and begged him—his words had wings: “Odysseus, I implore you at your knee—respect me and have pity. I tell you I’ve never                                       injured a single woman in these halls by saying or doing something reckless. Instead I tried to stop the other suitors when they did those things. They did not listen or restrain their hands from acting badly. So their own wickedness now brings about their wretched fate. Among them I’m a prophet who has done no wrong, and yet I will lie dead, since there’s no future thanks for one’s good deeds.” Shrewd Odysseus glared at him and answered:                           “If, in fact,                                           you claim to be a prophet with these men, no doubt here in these halls you’ve often prayed that my goal of a sweet return would stay unrealized, so my dear wife could go back to your own home and bear you children. That’s why you won’t escape a bitter death.” As he said this, Odysseus picked up in his fist a sword that lay nearby—Agelaus had dropped it and left it on the ground when he was killed—with it Odysseus struck Leiodes right across his neck.                                       His head was rolling in the dust as he was speaking.

(Book 22, Johnston)

Leiodes: "Hey, we're good, right? I didn't even do anything with your servants or riches." Odysseus: "I don't care if you didn't do anything else, your crime is that you were trying to court my wife in the first place. You're fucking dead."

Also, he was so angry that he cut off his head in one stroke (Athena was juicing him up but still)

Touch the Wife, you get the Knife.

[girlsdads]

48- rampage 💕

“It has not moved in days, Daniel.”

“He’s luring us into a false sense of security! He’s plotting a spidery rampage as we speak—I can see it in his eyes.” Daniel is glaring at the tiny black smudge that’s taken up residence where the wall meets the ceiling of their living room. He’s pulled his bare feet up onto the sofa underneath him, like he’s expecting the spider to launch itself at his toes.

“You do not know it is a boy spider.” Max says because he knows it will make Daniel squawk indignantly. It is a cute sound he makes.

“Boy I know it’s a spider!” His lovely expressive face morphs into an exaggerated pout. “Kill it for me, Maxy.”

“You are from where they have giant dog-eating spiders and you are afraid of this thing?” Max is shaking his head in mock disappointment even as he’s pulling the step stool out of the closet and ripping off a piece of paper towel.

Daniel blows him a kiss.

[shannonsketches]

Thinking about how Toriyama wrote an Entire Plot centering around how Vegeta has spent the last seven years learning how to be happy and comfortable with his family on Earth and how he loves his wife so much that being Gently Reminded that he loves his wife was enough to pull him out of a violent midlife crisis and made him such a powerful guardian of Earth that Heaven broke its own rules just to put him back in that position

and Toei was like 'okay but in the sequel to that plot their marriage is terrible and he's never home'

[sergle]

screams... tell me why I just spent an hour looking at the Ned Alleged Cheating Scandal tweets

[alexiethymia]

just watched beetlejuice beetlejuice at the theaters, and can I just say, I loved it! it definitely didn’t disappoint and was a zany adventure, just like the first one.

and it kinda added layers to betelgeuse in a way. because spoilers I definitely thought they would go the same route for astrid and jeremy, the same way they did for lydia and betelgeuse in that what jeremy wanted was for astrid to marry him so that he could get out. instead it was a more sinister method, and it makes me wonder why betelgeuse never tried it. it can’t be because he doesn’t know about it, because he’s the type of ghost to read the handbook backwards and forwards just so he can find every loophole to exploit. like my head keeps going in circles. especially for the first movie where lydia had initially wanted ‘in’ while he wanted ‘out’, the switcheroo method that jeremy tried with astrid would’ve been perfect then. even in this movie where he already has experience of lydia backing out of their deal, he could have had lydia promise to exchange her soul for his. with how much she wanted to save astrid, I’m sure lydia would have agreed. instead, he just wanted to remarry her. it’s interesting because it means betelgeuse, as putrid, crass, disgusting, and opportunistic as he is, actually seems like he has lines he won’t cross.

[jester-step]

just girly things: reading batman: dark victory and feeling nauseous every time harvey dent gets mentioned 🌸🥰💕

[alicentsaegon]

"News spread quickly across all of Prythian, about the sudden elopement of the wretched, volatile Berron Vanserra, nephew and only heir to the High Lord of Autumn. The male reached three hundred yet still took no consort. Not merely an elopement, but a mating ceremony, at that. Word of how he then ripped his little mate's fiancé apart, challenging the younger male to a Blood Duel as cruel as the soil of the Court they inhabit. The young female in question being the lady Abella. How he carried his little mate away, and no one present at the hasty ceremony could tell if the young female was laughing or screaming as he took her away from watchful eyes and then claimed her, still coated in the dead males blood. It was a blessed union by the Mother nonetheless, the birth of the youngest Vanserra, Eris, just a mere year later being proof of that. No one in Prythian could predict that shortly after Beron would take place as High Lord after his uncle's sudden passing, or how close and near he would keep his young Lady of Autumn, the closest thing a male as could have to an equal. Or that young, bright eyed Eris would be the first born of a long, long line of heirs."

@foxcort is this anything ;-;. This is practically AU fanfic territory but acotar is bare bones of a story held together by fans

[translannisters]

I do think Daemon is a man for the record. I am so very rarely the guy going "oh but actually this character just has gender feelings in a VERY CIS way" but while there's a very intentional mirroring between his envy of Rhaenyra and Rhaenyra's envy of him it's not in a way that I think justifies his inclusion in the "HRT would have fixed them" posts - gender is not IRRELEVANT to the status (as Viserys' unconditionally cherished daughter) that Daemon perceives Rhaenyra as having but it is secondary and instrumental. Ultimately Daemon's gender dissatisfaction has the same root as Rhaenyra's - he as well "will never be a son" (I will never stop being insane about this part of the 1x1 script btw.)

What Daemon definitely is is a bisexual man who is also a second son (disqualified from inheriting anything in the vast majority of cases) and who is perceived to take after his mother whereas his older brother is perceived to take after his father - Daemon's masculinity likely feels superfluous to him, like he would have done better as a sister (perhaps a GNC sister like Alyssa who sublimated all her GNCness into dying in the attempt to give her brother "an army of sons" - Daemon being the youngest surviving one.) This isn't a yearning towards womanhood its the exact same feeling of being inherently "castrated" that Rhaenyra, by way of their transmasculinity, feels. Because of his gender assignment at birth Daemon can move through the world without anyone knowing on sight that he's "castrated" - that his masculinity is without instrumental purpose - and that ambiguity creates that yearning for SOME kind of clear status/purpose (most notably the status of beloved daughtersisterwife. Which. The misconception on Daemon's part that Viserys ever unconditionally loved his daughter or his wife is truly something but that's a whole other post) that can be in a Trans of Gender direction but isn't really about that at its core. Am I saying Daemon is actually transmasc-coded instead you might ask. Well.

Anyway Daemon has never been hotter to me than in 1x4 when he looks like a butch so like. I get it. But that's a male bisexual tboy chaser unfortunately!!

[sk1llz-heeler]

Ripping and tearing I need more cannibal content

[supjello]

"Your son?" "My apprentice, but I think of him like a son."

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

if westeros was created to reflect our modern society instead of being loosely based off of western medieval society, then i think people would understand that these political marriages are for alliances, not love, and would agree that the modern lower class sentiments towards marriage are simply not applicable to these arrangements and both bride and groom cannot and should not expect love from their partner.

if our story occurred in a modern westeros very similar to our own modern society, then a lot of the obstacles our characters face would not happen because, simply put, modern society benefits from equality.

as an example, i am quite (100%) certain that the introduction of gender equality and other modern values and advancements to westeros would only be beneficial to rhaegar and elia, which means that this ideology benefits westerosi society on an individual level.

so, in this modern westeros au, if rhaegar and elia still married for a political alliance, and then had two children like they did in asoiaf, they could then peacefully divorce and write out a contract that secures both rhaenys and aegons inheritances. if lyanna and rhaegar met and fell in love while rhaegar and elia were married then the misunderstanding that sparked a war would never have happened. why? because lyanna would have a say in who she marries in this modern au. also, elia would have possibly been seeing others as well. why? because this was a political marriage and love shouldn’t be expected, so why would anyone be concerned about either party finding love outside of their marriage? plus modern westeros would have dna testing so there’s no reason to question the paternity of their children.

also, if elia had a child with someone else (in this hypothetical scenario, perhaps her lover died) and rhaegar decided to claim that child as his own while knowing that he’s not the real father in order to give this child a better life, then this wouldn’t be a problem either. why? because rhaegar’s in the know. (i’m only bringing this up bc of the rhaenyra and laenor situation. guys… laenor is perfectly aware that biologically those kids aren’t his, yet he still claimed them and loved them bc he and rhaenyra had an agreement. i do not understand why real ppl are even concerned about jace, luke, and joffs parentage. in the eyes of the law those boys are legally laenors.)

however, since asoiaf isn’t based off of our modern society and is instead a society riddled with misogyny, xenophobia and other social issues without the progress and advancements that we in the 21st century have benefited from, i will concede one thing to these antis who harp on and on about how selfish rhaenyra and rhaegar were for loving someone who wasn’t their spouse and for having a child(ren) out of wedlock.

because yes, rhaegar and lyanna’s love can be considered an act of selfishness, and rhaenyra loving harwin and having children with him can also be considered selfish.

but guess what? love in general is a very selfish state of being. you are prioritizing your partner and your desires over everything and everyone else in your life.

one of the greatest love stories of all time, romeo and juliet, is a tale of two selfish lovers who seek to be together despite the immense hatred between their families. selfless and dutiful children would never love an enemy. and yet, despite romeo and juliet’s love story ending in tragedy, no one would ever argue that these two lovers were in the wrong for simply trying to be together even though their love caused their families great grief. why? because the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets was stupid. and the story ends with the characters agreeing that this feud went on for long enough and acknowledging the fact that this petty feud between the families was the cause of their misery and the tragedy that befell them.

though the circumstances of all three love stories are different, it’s undeniable that these lovers were selfish for prioritizing their own desires over their duties to their houses.

to end this little spiel, i’d like to mention that the reason i first brought up a modern au was to remind people that the only reason rhaelya and rhaenyra’s relationship with harwin can be so decisively called selfish is because these characters live in westeros. and westeros is a fucked up society rooted in systematic oppression, violence, and abuse and other forms of exploitation in order to further the agenda of the powerful despite the harm it causes. any modern comforts and progressive ideas hinder the control the patriarchs have over their families and put a name to the bigotry expressed against these unconventional relationships. so yes, their love is selfish because being unconventional in such a backwards society is a recipe for disaster, especially since both of these relationships hinge on a woman deciding to take control of her sexual autonomy, which is a big no no in westeros since a woman’s body only belongs to her father and husband. so yes, these love stories are selfish because these characters are prioritizing themselves in a society that benefits from them losing their autonomy and harms them and their loved ones when they try to take back their autonomy.

to finish off, the reason i brought up the tragic love story of romeo and juliet is to remind people that even though rhaegar and lyanna’s love was selfish, other characters still need to be held accountable for their actions that helped to escalate this misunderstanding into a tragedy that consumed all of westeros.

[jacobglaser]

"I lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship" is one of the funniest excuses for cheating I've ever heard. Sorry I just zoned out for a minute and when I came to I was balls deep in a colleague.

[butterflieswhisper]

hiiii ^^ beastlife fishie analysis. spoilers ahead. etc etc

okay so. the main point of this is simple. I don't think the salmon head cursed c!fishie. Explaining that is the harder part I think. also i'm going to refer to the salmon head thing in e5 as "the incident" from here on out because frankly i think it's funny

Let's start with the incident. The big day. etc. What happened? Why did it happen? Obligatory third questioning statement? Well. She was gifted the salmon head for her birthday by kiwi(or like. someone in the kiwibird system. -bird system. the birds). Immediately upon receiving it she relives parts of season one and fishie herself doesn't really acknowledge it. The other players definitely notice but im not caught up enough in any other pov yet to like have thoughts on that I'll come back to that point someday. Fishie seems shaken, sure, but she moves on so quickly, especially considering what happened just there. 37 seconds of standing frozen, unresponsive. she recovers in 5 seconds. And seeing how she reacts later on to realizing the memory situation--if she was aware that happened, she would probably be concerned by it. She puts it on for a brief second at the end of the party and takes it off immediately. She's otherwise normal -- well. as normal as she is otherwise up to that point. Because that is also how she acts with pretty much any salmon head, even just kiwi herself.

I raise: Episode one, about 8:20 in. The slow zoom on kiwi as the static overtakes every other noise. This is the *exact* same behavior displayed when fishie receives the salmon head, albeit without actual concrete old video footage style flashbacks. In episode two (28:55ish) the same thing happens when she looks at the salmon head in moch's house, but this time there is technically a flashback -- kiwis grave. Fishie moves on immediately and doesn't acknowledge her behavior at all, and, seeing as it is fishie, im inclined to believe that means she does not know she is doing it. Fishie (when alone) will discuss all of her problems in immense, and usually misguided detail (bestie i promise kiwi doesn't hate you???) to the audience and/or herself. I mean she's not alone in episode one, and it is technically presession, and i guess getting struck by lightning is a decent distraction from your problems, but in episode two? She is completely alone. There is nobody with her. She went looking for moch and moch is not there. She still doesn't acknowledge the fiveish seconds she is completely frozen. This happens again and again with kiwi and salmon heads.

And then that leads you to e5. The incident. She's. well. she's doing worse. 0:50. "This will distract me if i leave it up." This is the first mention from fishie herself about how fucking weird she's being, and even then she doesn't seem concerned. I think she does not realize she's being so so incredibly weird about it. If the static and freezing is what's referred to as "distraction" then keeping it in her inventory makes it worse actually so it wouldn't really make sense unless the way it is distracting her is NOT the. well. whatever the fuck is wrong with her (affectionate). After she puts the head on there's the static all the time but for a short brief amount of time she's like significantly more normal and i don't really know if that means anything i just think it's really funny.

And then we all know what goes on during the incident i'm not analyzing this video frame by frame. um. i could. but i am not going to right now. And then she has the conversation on the table with kiwi where she like is normal for 5 minutes. Like genuinely the most. i guess stable? fishie's thought process is is like in the moments directly after the incident. She is immediately understanding with the antikiwi situation, they come to an agreement that they're like. okay now. "thank you for everything and im so sorry i couldnt do more" / "it was short, but it was nice" "i knew what i was getting into when i married you" etc etc and then they kind of rush it at the end because people won't stop dying. But then fishie is fishie and takes it in the complete opposite extreme (from. um. whatever was wrong up until now. to "oh kiwibird must secretly hate me because" and then there's no real good reason she's just like that) and it's also an issue. And i think the season two memory thing is also a part of that but this is so long already and so i'm not going to get into it rn. So bringing all of this back to my original point: the salmon head was not the cause of the curse(?) because she's been so weird all the time forever and the salmon head thing was just like. an effect. of whatever went Wrong(tm) in the season transition. like the head was a vessel to Be Worse about it but i feel like it would have worked with any salmon head she got her hands on and that it happened to be kiwico was a coincidence and also that the head wasn't cursed at all there's just something deeply wrong with fishie s3 in general and uh yeah 👍

I'm so sorry this is so disjointed i had a thesis statement and everything. alas

[fighterjetfucker3000]

Swordsmachine try not to be beautiful challenge (FAILED!!!)

I wanted to try to work on a drawing that focused more on his wires with a soft, warm color palette and shading and of course he turned out pretty again. i am cursed to always accidentally make him hot. but. that's not really a curse if you ask me :3

anyway.... boy why you so wires???

[4esthetic-dissonance]

I'm working on a fic and was like 'how in the hell do you make LINGUANG JUN the least bit redeemable?'. I mean, /Linguang jun/ who tossed a developmentally four year old Mobei Jun to a pack of humans? The kid could have died. And then I saw a translation of the extras. It describes lgj as mbj's 'young uncle', says that he 'wasn't that much older than him (mbj)'. And I just- its a hell of a lot different, a Scar type tossing his nephew to the proverbial wolves than it is for a maybe dumb, maybe petty, maybe developmentally five or six year old to shove their annoying technically-nephew-who-in-age-and-context-is-more-like-a-brother-than-lgj's-actual-brother into a situation that the text implies was more frightening than actually /dangerous/. And that- well I can work with that.