#edit: guess who just completed the game. guess who’s own art is now making herself SAD

[uhlikzsuzsanna]

SPOILER WARNING: Do not read if you haven’t seen all of Season 1 of “Loki,” currently streaming on Disney Plus.

Ever since “Loki” first premiered in June, Kate Herron, who directed all six episodes of the Marvel Studios series, has had to pretend like she knew far less than she really does. For one, she couldn’t acknowledge that the homages to sci-fi classics like “Blade Runner” and “Brazil” that she’d baked into the elaborate sets for the Time Variance Authority — the cosmic bureaucracy tasked with maintaining the sacred timeline — were “meant to be sinister” rather than just “playful and quirky.”

For another, Herron was delighted to see fans theorizing after the very first episode that Kang the Conqueror — a character already set to appear in the Marvel Studios feature “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania,” as played by Jonathan Majors — was really pulling the strings of the TVA. But until the finale streamed last Wednesday, she couldn’t even hint that those fans were only half right: Majors does play the mastermind of the TVA, but he’s a variant of Kang referred to as He Who Remains. It’s only after He Who Remains encounters Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and his female variant counterpart Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino), and Sylvie plunges a blade into his heart, that the multiverse is reborn, creating the possibility for Kang the Conqueror to emerge.

Again, though: Herron couldn’t acknowledge any of that, even to those closest to her.

“Nothing has prepared me better for working with Marvel than playing tabletop games with my friends,” she says with a laugh. “It definitely taught me how to have a good poker face. You have to hide your hand — and sometimes lie.”

Now, thankfully, all of that is behind her — as is “Loki” itself. Despite receiving widespread acclaim for her assured, ambitious, and visually sumptuous work directing the show, Herron says she has decided not to return for Season 2 of the series.

“I gave it everything — in my soul, in my heart, everything,” she says. “I feel so proud of the work we’ve done. And yeah, I’ll be enjoying Season 2 as a fan.”

She’s quick to sing the praises of everyone she worked with at Marvel, and she says she’s “sure” she’ll work again with the studio. For now, however, she’s ready to take a holiday, and then turn to a project she’s writing herself “that’s really close to my heart that I really want to make.”

“It’s my own decision, but I just feel like my part with ‘Loki’ is finished now and I’m just excited to see where his story goes,” she says.

Before she parts ways for good, however, Herron spoke with Variety about bringing Jonathan Majors into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, what she thought of the shocking revelation about infinity stones and what she would like to see happen in Season 2.

She always knew “Loki” would introduce Kang and the Multiverse…

From the very start, Herron says, she and head writer Michael Waldron knew that their six-episode run of “Loki” would always end with Loki and Sylvie meeting He Who Remains at his citadel, the result of which would cause the creation of the multiverse.

As Episode 6 makes clear, both of these events were massive turning points for the future of the MCU — and Herron still can’t quite believe she got to be the one to make them a reality.

“We were just, like, waiting to be told, ‘Actually, guys, we’ve had a change [of heart],'” Herron says. Instead, Herron says she and “Quantumania” director Peyton Reed participated in casting Majors in the role.

“I was just like, pinch me,” she says. “I can’t believe I was at the table for that, because I know it was such a big decision for them all.”

Herron also decided to have Majors provide the voices for all three “Timekeepers” who are supposedly at the head of the TVA, but are revealed by Sylvie to be nothing more than “mindless androids.”

“We didn’t have someone cast for those voices,” she says. “I remember thinking, well, ‘Wizard of Oz’ is clearly a reference for us. We should have the wizard. It’d be great if it’s Jonathan. So we sent him all the art of the timekeepers. And he just kind of came up with these incredible voices for each of them.”

…but not with a cliffhanger.

The most significant decision of the season, though, may be that it ends with a giant cliffhanger, when Loki discovers he’s in a brand new reality for the TVA in which Mobius (Owen Wilson) and Hunter B-15 (Wunmi Mosaku) don’t even recognize him. But while Herron knew how this season of “Loki” would end, at first, she did not know that there would be any more seasons after it.

“When I started, there wasn’t a discussion of Season 2, exactly,” she says. “It was just that season of ‘Loki.’ As we got deeper into production, everyone was very happy, and obviously there’s so much to explore with Loki. It felt like we should continue the story. So I think the cliffhanger ending came in later in the process.”

Herron says she sprinkled in some hints to viewers that Loki is in a new timeline, like redressing sets to look slightly off, and recasting Eugene Cordero’s TVA receptionist Casey as a hunter headed to the armory in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment. But her favorite bit is that the final line — said by Mobius to Loki — is the same as the first line spoken in the show, by a woman in the Gobi desert, also to Loki: “Who are you?”

“That was kind of the question of the whole first season,” Herron says.

She was just as shocked about the Infinity Stones as everyone else.

In the first episode, Loki discovers to his horror that not only does his magic not work inside the TVA, but Infinity Stones — heretofore believed to be the most powerful objects in the known universe — are just inert rocks there. The revelation sent shockwaves across the Marvel fandom; Herron was right there with them.

“That was in Michael’s script when I first got it to pitch [for the directing job],” she says. “I remember being like, ‘WHAT?! You put me through so much!’ But then I thought, ‘Oh, it’s kind of genius, because it shows how powerful the TVA are. Who are these people? What is this place?'”

Herron especially appreciated how her shock — and the audience’s — mirrored Loki’s own as the rug gets pulled out from under him. “I was quite excited by it,” she says. “It really shows you that there’s a new power in the MCU — and it’s not what we we spent the last decade dedicating our lives to.”

She told Kevin Feige she wanted gender parity among her crew.

Prior to “Loki,” Herron’s most high profile job was directing the second half of the first season of the Netflix dramedy “Sex Education.” She got the “Loki” job thanks to a 60-page pitch memo that filled out just about every detail of the world of the show. After hiring her, she says Marvel Studios chief Kevin Feige asked her, “What are your terms?”

“This was the first time I was gonna get to hire my heads of department on a television show I worked on,” she says. “I was like, I’d really love [the crew] to be 50/50 across gender.”

Herron says she wasn’t out to fill any jobs on the film with a specific gender. But, she says, “There aren’t enough women in these roles. They’re out there. It’s a lack of opportunity. It’s not a lack of interest.”

She did end up hiring two women for critical roles that are still rarely occupied by women: cinematographer Autumn Durald (“The Sun Is Also a Star”) and composer Natalie Holt (History’s “Knightfall”).

“I felt like she was inside my mind,” Herron says of Durald. “We have the same taste. And I love the way that she talks about light as a character.”

Herron hired Holt unusually early for a composer, after she’d completed editing the first episode during the pandemic shutdown. She knew that the particular sci-fi film noir look of the show that she was developing with Durald needed similarly unique music, and she liked that part of Holt’s pitch was focusing on Loki’s identity as a character.

“Her music then started to inspire how I wanted to shoot other scenes,” Herron says. She’s especially enamored of Holt’s vision for her dynamic and foreboding theme for the TVA.

“She was like, ‘Oh, let’s have that theme be Kang’s’ — well, He Who Remains, I guess, in our show. But I hope that will go on to be Kang’s theme. That was the real fun of it is that you feel like he’s really played a hand now across the whole show, because you realize that music is his music.”

Herron, Durald, and Holt all deliver distinctive and superlative work that’s nothing like the MCU has quite seen before — and nothing quite like anything previously in their careers, either. And that’s entirely the point.

“I think for us, it was about just showing people what we could do and that we could do it at this level,” Herron says.

The episode in which Loki comes out as bisexual was inspired by Alfonso Cuarón and Richard Linklater.

Every episode of “Loki” features multiple extended scenes of two characters just talking to one another, a rarity in a comic book production. Herron says that cutting Episode 1 together during the pandemic lockdown and seeing the scenes between Loki and Mobius (Owen Wilson) play out so well “definitely gave us confidence” to continue that rhythm for the rest of the show.

That was especially true for Episode 3. Written by Bisha K. Ali (who went on to create the upcoming Marvel Studios series “Ms. Marvel”), the episode is essentially an extended meet-cute between Loki and Sylvie as they get to know each other on a planet doomed for total annihilation.

“Bisha’s reference was ‘Before Sunrise’ and ‘Children of Men,'” says Herron. “And it lit my brain on fire. It was kind of weird. It was almost like a bottle episode in the sense that we’re just with the two characters, but obviously, it’s Marvel, right? So they’re bonding in this Apocalypse, which also feels very Loki at the same time.”

That episode is best known for making Marvel Studios history, when Loki casually mentions that he’s had dalliances with both men and women. Herron says that when she first interviewed for the job, she asked if the show was going to acknowledge Loki’s sexuality, which had long been established in the comics as bisexual or pansexual.

“I think everyone wanted to acknowledge it,” she says. “It was just really about giving a care and consideration and doing it in the right way. I think everyone knew it was gonna be quite a big moment. So it was just really about doing it in a way that felt respectful. And honoring it.”

Herron also confirms what many fans had suspected, that she deliberately made the lighting scheme for the scene evoke the blue, purple and red of the bisexual flag. “We knew what we were doing with that scene,” she says with a smile.

She has a lot of ideas for what she’d like to see in Season 2.

Since Herron will be watching Season 2 of “Loki” only “as a fan,” she is also free to wildly speculate as to what she’d most like to see happen — like how, wherever Loki story leads, “we’ve opened the door” for the character to explore his sexuality with men as well as women.

Otherwise? She says she wants to know where Judge Ravonna Renslayer (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) goes to when she leaves the TVA in search, she tells Mobius, of “free will.”

“I love her,” Herron says. “Gugu used to always call her an indoor girl, which made me laugh, but she is. She’s in the office, but she used to be this kick-ass Hunter. So I’m like, Okay, well, where’s her path going?”

Herron is also keen to learn more about Hunter B-15’s backstory — since she deliberately decided to hide it in the scene in Episode 4 when Sylvie shows B-15 her repressed memories as a variant.

“I was like, we shouldn’t see her memories,” Herron says. “It’s a character that thought they had power and realizes they have no power. It felt really powerful to at least give her some power in that scenario. The memories are private. They’re hers.” She pauses. “Also as a fan, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, who is she?!'”

“And obviously, you know, Loki and Sylvie?” Herron continues, on a roll. “He’s in a completely different reality. What’s going to happen to him? How will he get back? Or will he get back? And where’s Sylvie? She’s still in the Citadel? And the multiverse of it all. What the hell is going to happen?!”

Herron chuckles at her own excitement. “So I think there’s so many questions to be answered, and so much more road to travel with all our characters,” she says. “You know, I’m really proud that I got to set up Loki’s story here. But there’s so many different aspects of his identity and personality that’s yet to be explored. I’m excited to see where it goes.”

[incarnateirony]

An anti dressed up as a shipper, an idiot, and a terf all walk into the same bar.

It’s the same picture person.

A lesson.

Warning: if the title doesn’t give it away, queerphobic content comes up in this from the other party being documented.

So, some of you may have watched a twitter exercise yesterday.

It started simple: concern trolling white knight “for the writers” comes in to angrily declare fans doing something tagged in support of them about Destiel was “out of line.” She claimed things like “Misha was gaslit into supporting Destiel”, and pulled all kinds of stunts.

She immediately got on a soap box yelling “I HAVE A LIT CRIT DEGREE, I KNOW AUTHOR INTENT” of course implying she knew better than EVERYONE around her how to read text. She then pulled, of all things, @chill-legilimens​​ ‘ article about the network gods gutting the show out of the internet, and somehow misread it SO FUCKING BADLY -- SO FUCKING BADLY -- she thought it aligned with HER. She argued that fans influenced the writers, essentially, and basically pulled the exact opposite of the very clearly delivered message there out. When it was pointed out we know this author and even sometimes help edit their pieces, and she was, flat out misreading it while bragging about how good she is at deciphering text, it turned into a SHITSHOW.

I had watched her give a large group of queer people 2 days of runaround, while they tried to be polite, and similarly tried to prove everything while she proved nothing. Just preached. After 2 days of them exhausting themselves on her, I came in doing my blunt & savage thing, because fuck civility culture when it’s used by oppressors. Of course, she immediately started tone policing, while herself being an arrogant shitbrick the whole way.

She continued to preach author intent and talk down about “headcanons.” You see, she knew the authors very well. Berens’ name was mentioned in passing, and she came back with. “Who’s Berens? Is that the author of the article?” after Deirdre’s name had been directly cited in associated with it about 15 times.

(credit: @judgehangman​ )

But it gets better. She started pulling the “authors have said Dean is straight.” line. Now, at this point, we had already sourced her at least four pieces of information (quite formally too: SPN Official DVD Collection Season 8 episode 13 creative commentary, Edlund and Sgriccia; Dissent Magazine The Attack Queers Bob Berens review; the books in the office with screenshots, and more.) So we issued one simple request: Okay. Source.

For the next-- I shit you not-- 10 hours she bricked the thread to death, finding any and EVERY rabbit hole she could try to venture down. For the first hour or two a few of us tried to actually debate her newly raised points, but still gave reminder that we were waiting for her source. Every tweet was an opportunity for her to drop a 15 tweet thread trying to derail onto a new topic, and often clarifying she had no idea about any of it (Edlund, Sgriccia, Berens, Dabb--who she couldn’t spell the name of--and Deirdre all became an amorpheous blob in her retelling that she swore she looked at sources and wasn’t convinced, while she crossed all the data and comments about the sources). She tried to challenge that anyone could know all the writers and episodes just because she proved she couldn’t, even when multiple people expressed it to her extremely rapidly with not just author and director listings, but cross references on when they overlapped and major elements (like the 15.20 shot 19 tree being the Kim Manners memorial tree). She randomly babbled about Kripke once. Lied her way through and claimed those sources were vague. Etc.

But at some point, I decided, we’re not playing this distraction game. You wanted a debate, you claim you have a lit crit degree, and thus know the entire art is Argumentation. A source, if you’re declaring knowing author intent. One source. Any time she dropped a distraction tweet, I replied to her thread with things like a list of our sources vs her lack of any and a reminder. I installed a counter ticker. How many times had she been asked to either recant her point or give a single source?

Someone made a list of the logical fallacies she used in the argument. It was two tweets long and still missed several obvious ones. That didn’t stop her. Neither did the dozens of requests for a source or a recant. Onwards, she marched, derailing time and again. She brought in a buddy to try to distract, but he fell out real quick when he realized “the burden of proof lies on the arguer” shot him and her both in the feet in record time and he ducked out. 

Other greatest hits came out like “Dubs (Dabb’s) fanfic books”, and calling the ability to list authors and episodes “headcanons.”

Over time, the dialogue shifted: see, she came in trying the snide “enjoy your headcanons” downtalk, but as time and time again she was pulverized on every point about the show, or the authors, or anything else while STILL never even giving a single source to even her FIRST POINT and running distractions, it became a reality-- she was told, “We’ll enjoy our canon and author intent. You can enjoy your headcanon of... Dabb’s fanfic books and Lord Barons and the writers being collective hallucinations and whatever else in your hot takes about the show content itself” and she FLIPPED SHIT. 

As the ticker for sources approached 100, she started becoming flustered. Before that, even, she started repetitively misgendering Ezra (no tumblr to link in), and Ezra screenshot their bio of they/them and asked them to adjust. Ignored. Ezra linked this request and asked it to be addressed again, and again, and again. 13 times. Ezra linked it 13 times. She even replied to several of them. No avail. No change. Not until literally any and every tweet in her vicinity either had “source?” or “address gender?” for her to reply to did she flee there, and write some giant write-around of “oh, I didn’t see this, sorry” but still refused to actually use it. Or “I’ll use the right one now.” No, just completely strickened pronouns from her vocabulary with Ezra moving forward, after not one mistake, not two, not five, but 13 answers.

At this point, I notice a trend: throughout the entire conversation, she had flip flopped on my pronouns, clearly confused as to what to call me. As I generally don’t care (honestly I prefer he but meh), it didn’t ping me as something to react to while she switched religiously between “he” and “she”. But I realized now, despite all of that confusion: she never once thought to use “they.” Also earlier we found tweets of hers that, while now declaring herself bisexual, she used troublesome wording in the past to blur the line on if she was an ally or, as she phrased it “maybe less than 100% straight in the bell curve” in other conversations.

I mutter about this on the side to Ezra and some friends, but continue on towards the 100 ticker that was the goal to show people in this digital terrarium how disingenuous most people you argue with are -- an exhibit for the class. They know they’re lying and have been caught, but will not cede to admit “oops, I guess I was wrong.” but rather stick, unironically, to their own headcanons about things. After all, they vaguely sorta apologized even if suddenly just refusing to use any pronouns at all on Ezra after that. And she’s so quick to disappear into 15 tweet bombs of distraction trying to play victim for being held accountable at this point, we just didn’t jump to a conclusion on that, alarming as it is.

So. You know. Source.

At this point, she RANDOMLY starts evoking the fact that like, How Dare, She Watched Gay Men Die To AIDS, She Is A Great Philanthropist How Dare How Dare. 

I’m sorry, did you just evoke the blood of our dead to run away from the most basic scrap of accountability in what is literally the first wave of a lit debate because for the last 10 hours you have refused to take the necessary steps to move on to the next point? Did you... just... evoke the ghosts of gay men that were genocided to, essentially, pull up a smokescreen and run away from being party to queer erasure? Or even just? Giving a source? or admitting you were wrong on one point in a debate? Wow, you really just did that. 

Naturally, people involved got pissed. Her Sources ticker hit 100, but at this point, all that haunted her was how completely fucking vile and inappropriate that was in this discussion. 

She got blocked. She then tried to glom onto anyone that hadn’t blocked or muted her and run the same argumentation points she had earlier been decimated in the argument with, while yelling “I ship Destiel too! I wanted them to have sex too! Why does this make me the bad guy?” around the block and hoping nobody actually read the thread. She tried to pitch the “headcanons” point of view again, hoping a new audience would lick her boots. She was, largely, ignored; given a few more comments about her leaving the conversation losing all points and only covered in the blood of our dead she was so proud of; blocked by a few more. (unsurprisingly, if you check her actual tweet history, she seems more invested in Megstiel but)

This is when CommaSameleon -- a professor with two lit degrees and a primary focus in teaching the art of Argumentation -- literally -- stepped in. She initially tried to engage the fact that, well, this woman not only can’t argue out of a paper sack but wasn’t even arguing, she was just running in circles and distracting from all the points and hadn’t addressed a single lit point directly while preaching down at people. But Sam, also, noticed something. This woman kept changing things like “queerphobia” to “homophobia.” Sam mentioned this kinda puts off TERF vibes (I think Sam picked up on the gendering thing herself too.)

Her response? Which she deleted since? But Discord’s embed helpfully saved?

Her inacted non-apologies remain weak, especially in any form of debate be it lit or now queer topics.

Oh I’m sorry, let’s recap her viewpoints: TERF is a slur. “They” is made up and should be avoided at all costs. The blood of dead gay men are a token to use in a lit debate you’re avoiding responsibility in. After this, “authors are headcanons” is suddenly not your worst take, but fascinating that you 13 times didn’t even read the blatant ass screenshot. And I mean, these weren’t subtle or easy to miss these 13 times.

100. She had 100 chances, literally, on a timer, to give a source or shut up with her platforming until she had one. Instead, she chose every rabbit hole she could manifest to disappear into, only to be met by another request for a source, and not moving on until we address the first points. We’ve given ours, now you give yours. Instead, you choose this. This is the hill you choose to die on, rather than admitting, “Sorry, I guess I was wrong” or “I guess I heard that somewhere, my bad.” 100 chances. 13 direct QT requests to address gender which she replied to but didn’t reply to until cornered (and still didn’t, truly, reply to), and “TERF is a slur.” Oh, and after waving around the dead men’s blood she also suddenly Can’t Be A Terf Because She Adopted Two Trans Kids. Lord help those children. Or, you know, the more realistic thing is she’s just manifesting all kinds of bullshit at this point to save face, which is probably why she deleted all the related tweets that show she’s a giant-ass TERF.

So anyway, this is very much a lesson on:

Paying attention to how people manipulate conversation to erase genuine discussion and debate.

Paying attention to WHY they do it. Motivation on methods and tactics will clear up a lot.

Figuring out HOW they try to sound woke about shit and when it’s entirely fucking vile and inappropriate to pull

And by all above points, figuring out that these people are among us, and how NOT to let them influence your conversations.

I don’t care if it’s about a discussion on a ship or show or anything else. People do this. A lot. Extremely dedicatedly, if the 100 asks doesn’t make that clear. 

Stop letting people railroad your conversations with disingenuous bullshit.

So anyway in honor of this I made everyone a gif

Use at will. It’s tagged anti-terf if you want to use the search feature on it.

UPDATE: 

Just went and checked. She went and deleted literally her entire side of the conversation, hundreds if not thousands of tweets. Luckily, Ezra mentioned repeatedly -- and I do trust them inherently -- that they were saving the entire conversation, so that zip file exists somewhere. How fascinating, after she accused us that we would want to delete tweets. Someone realized they had a bad look and giant failure all around.

Also, a related anon that links to an earlier part of this conversation I didn’t even document where she was crying about “cis erasure” [x] This shit went on so long I legit forgot about that.

[taurustony]

The True Mighty Bison - Season V edition.

Some weeks ago, I had a very productive discussion on twitter with Steven Mane about the subject of this essay, and he brought up very good points, an alternative theory (not as out there as mine) and reminded me I haven't actually added the ACTUAL Seth info from his story and Arcade endings to this text. Now that even Rose is on the game (although she didn't bring new info on this front), Let's update this very wild theory about our favorite psycho powered dictator. For the day you discovered the truth about M. Bison was the most important of your Street Fighter fan life. But for them, it was only Tuesday. HEAVY SPOILERS FOR SETH'S SFV STORY MODE AND ENDING. and in a lesser intensity, Rose's. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is M. Bison. Bison is one first class A-hole who runs the biggest crime syndicate on the world (Shadaloo), wants to spark global destruction if not given global domination and has a tendency to kidnap 16 year old girls.  Bison also wields something called Psycho Power. Through profane rituals (more of this in a bit), He is the biggest source/receptacle of it. this power is also destroying his body, which leads to the only thing he likes more than kidnapping 16 year old girls: Body Swapping. The body in the picture is not his original body, not even his first, but is the... model we are most used to see him using. This is how you would imagine him if one mentioned M. Bison. In SFV he finally got grey/white hair, but originally this body had black hair.

however...

These are Ed and Falke. They are CLONED Bodies of Bison, They are both spare bodies for M. Bison, created in a attempt to build a body strong enough to hold his power. They are both of the most recent attempt, the newer models so to speak. As far as we know, they are all biological (a point that will come up later) and since CAPCOM use the word CLONES, they share the same DNA as Bison. Physically speaking, they are around their late teens, although being much younger actually (both suffered from accelerated aging). They escaped Shadaloo due to the fact that an older model ended up destroying the base where they were being held. speaking of the Devil....

These are Seth and Abel.  Also, spare bodies of Bison. But (un)fortunately, they developed a conscience and independence. While Abel ran away and joined the french army, Seth created a splinter cell from Shadaloo called S.I.N. and planned a hostile takeover of the syndicate. One interesting fact is that both Seth and Abel are the SAME MODEL of bodies, but Seth installed the upgrade of the Tanden Engine on his body. So Seth was once like Abel and if given enough time and the proper modifications, Abel could become like Seth.  One recent release on Street Fighter V revealed the Seth was always more machine than man. If that is plainly due the Tanden Engine modification and what this means to Abel, its still unknown. both (Abel more than Seth) still have Bison’s DNA on them. Also, Bison considers this batch of clones a FAILED experiment Seth was the final Boss of Street Fighter IV, and Abel was the protagonist of that series. but, the older models are the more interesting ones.

These are Cammy and Decapre. Both are the oldest clone models player knew until recently. They are also fully biological and the first successful vessels for Psycho Power. Decapre is actually a “ Cammy Alpha“, a first attempt to create Cammy herself. Being fully biological, they ALSO carry Bison’s DNA. While Cammy became independent and joined the British Army, Decapre stayed brainwashed and a weapon for Shadaloo until recently (SFIV). Both Decapre and Cammy were part of a shadaloo project call “The Dolls project“: Most of the Dolls were the kidnapped teenage girls mentioned before, who were also test beds for Bison’s mind control via psycho power. There were 12 Dolls (Decapre and other 11), with Cammy being a 13th, codenamed Killer Bee. As of now, you probably noticed: 3 males, 3 females. We might be onto something here. But remember that profane ritual I mentioned? One of the results was this lady here...

This is Rose. In order to get full access to Psycho Power, Bison had to EXPEL ALL THE GOOD ENERGY FROM HIS SOUL. No joking. the good half of Bison’s Soul incarnated on a young Italian GIRL who was being born that moment and who grew up to be a incredible psychic and fortune teller ,plus the most powerful user of the SOUL POWER, the opposite to Bison’s Psycho Power. so Rose is the REINCARNATION of Bison’s soul, or at least half of it. After the events of SF Alpha 3, Bison even used Rose’s body as a vessel, to hide himself from the authorities. How she was freed and what happened to her during SFII is still unknown. Street Fighter V didn't really expanded on the relationship between Rose and Bison, as much as confirmed that as of the end of A Shadow Falls (SFV general story mode), Bison's is truly gone, at least as definitive as Rose can sense. Let's also remember that, until the interference of Rose herself, Cammy/Killer Bee was considered a succesfull attempt at creating the perfect body. If Rose hadn't freed Cammy's mind, which was as close to a blank slate and receptive as possible, its highly probable that Bison would be using her body instead. Still with me? STREET FIGHTER V: ARCADE EDITION added another point on this list: SETH was released in 2020 as a playable character, part of Season IV. HOWEVER, the FORM he appeared is quite the surprise.

THIS IS SETH! YES, THAT SAME SETH!! (a name tag on SFV confirms this is number 15, the seth that was at the center of SFIV events) After having all of his bodies destroyed during SFIV, his brain was placed by Juri on an old body known as DOLL UNIT 0. The interesting thing here is that Jury is doing this in behalf of a third party, identified only as voice on phone. This voice expected a male body, while Juri didn't even noticed (or cared) that Seth or DU0's had a gender. Doll Unit 0's body accepted Seth's biological brain without a problem. Seth's mind however, is on turmoil. When integrating with the DU0' original personality, something went wrong and Seth went completely batshit crazy. He only sees Psycho Power, and mistook Ed and Falke as being Bison himself, due to their Psycho Power energy. Some lines, such as this Seth is true perfection hints on a ongoing attempt of accepting the new body. The Arcade mode ending and an extra Seth on his Critical Art during his V-trigger 1 also hints that Seth's true power lies in the INTEGRATION with this new body. ALL OF THESE, ALL OF IT, are just canon facts from the SF series lore.  now for the speculation. Bison is not using the original body. And psycho power, specially the levels Bison desires, requires quite the strong one, which factors on why his current body is failing these days. why he had to abandon his original body? My only guess is that the profane ritual either destroyed it in the process or damaged it beyond repair. but at this point, Bison already had gained the power to posses other bodies. Doll Unit 0, the prototype for the perfect vessel, is female. Bison’s soul incarnated on a female body and until very recently, when his clone technology developed enough to create more radical deviations, the clones were all female. While there is several attempts of male bodies they are a late development and not only there is only one almost successful male body, it is the one that requires constant replacing AND Bison is trying to upgrade from, because it's not enough. But, the creation of a male body is stiil on the table and being attempted. Considering CAPCOM’s own words, that Seth is more machine than man, we can guess that Abel is probably just the biological basis for Seth, who is mostly the Tanden Engine and a biological brain. This is what was implemented into Doll Unit 0, who was completely female at that point, maybe even fully biological since Cammy, the earliest successful clone so far is fully biological as well. If we compare to real world cloning technology, cloning someone of the same gender is easier and more direct than altering the gender. Then there is the not-satated-but-extremely-obvious-fact that DU0 was the true first attempt at the tech that would produce Cammy, meaning, Shadaloo’s cloning tech was tested with HER. This also means that Doll Unit 0 IS EXTREMELY SIMILAR, IF NOT IDENTICAL, TO BISON'S ORIGINAL BODY. in conclusion: Bison’s original body is FEMALE and something close to this:

Thanks BbbSFXT from Deviant Art for the Mod and the picture. On the last version, I considered Mistress Bison being blonde, but thinking it through, it was more wishful thinking, trying to make them close to Cammy. Clones being a blonde is probably a side effect of DNA manipulation. Blond hair is recessive, and putting on the simplest, almost insulting way possible, it means blonde only happens if both sides of the DNA have the same code for hair. Since Bison is using the same DNA over and over, it makes sense clones would end up blonde. This also fits with DU0 being a very early prototype, with almost Bison's entire DNA intact, including the code for them hair. And now let's talk mysticism: There is the whole Yin/Yang theme surround everything Psycho Power, explicitly shown in Seth's design, but it was already there, at least as early as the Alpha/Zero series. In the balance of the Yin/Yang symbolism, Yin, the black part, can represent a “feminine principle” and also, can be a suffix/preffix meaning shadow. While Yang, the white part, can represent a “masculine principle” and also can be a suffix/preffix meaning light. these are parts in all living beings, be them male or female.

Psycho Power, the shadow, is feminine. Soul Power, the light, is masculine. There is a inversion of the symbolism here, with Bison, the male body, using the yin and Rose, the female body, using the yang. But the catch is: Rose is not a traditional reincarnation of Bison (obvious reasons) but received Bison's yang, on top of her natural one. This counts on why Rose is so powerful with Soul power. And while she doesn't seem to suffer a physical instability like Bison, as fortune teller and psychic, seem to be incredibly sensitive to strong emotions and energies around her (How the mind of G affected her on SFV being a exemple), I would argue that this extreme sensitiveness is the side effect of that extra yang energy. Let's also consider that while Bison wants MORE shadow and went way beyond what his natural body could hold, Rose stayed pretty much at her natural levels, as far as we know. So Bison's instability can be accounted as using insane levels of pure feminine energy inside a male body. Seth, the genderless one, will only find harmony in accepting his female body. Rose, the female body, is the only of them to have any kind of control and estability. This all points towards Mistress Bison, and that's the hill I'm dying on. this also ties to the idea proposed by Steven Mane: Psycho Power is closely related to the feminine and can't function properly, or at all, with men. Bison forcing that is the base reason for the physical instability. Which leads us to... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steven Mane's alternative theory of Psycho Power

The main gist here is that there isn't really any indication that Bison's OG body is any different from the one he uses today (which is true. There isn't a single line about it on the canon sources). The initial lack of male clones is accounted simply as that we haven't seen enough male clones, and they might have existed since Killer Bee's times. In his views, everything so far points to Bison desiring a male body. However, Psycho power works better with women, or was meant to be used by women. There is another fighting game with a similar plot, Skullgirls, in which the main McGuffin for that story is a mystical artifact that only works with women, which is why most of the cast of that game is female. And after Rose's SFV ending, I wouldn't put behind CAPCOM to lift another game's plot point for their own, specially one that would fit well with the already stablished canon. However, Steven Mane's best argument for this comes from SFA3 itself, or rather, the PSP version of SFA3. But before we get to that, let's go down on the memory lane and remember the facts.

Street Fighter Alpha 3 MAX, also known as Street Fighter Zero 3 Double Upper in Japan, is so far the last version of Street Fighter Alpha 3 released and it is an exclusive of the Playstation Portable console. The Alpha/Zero Series is the main focal point when talking about Bison and Psycho Power, as it's the series where Rose first appeared and in Alpha 3, we have the only canon appearance of Cammy as Killer Bee (on the intro of her first fight against Rose) and the first playable Dolls, Juli and Juni. SFA3 MAX is also, up to the publication of this, the only game in the series to have a guest character (the jury is still out on SFV last season V character). "Wait, Tony" you ask "Don't you mean 4 guest characters?" Eagle and Maki are not guests: They were always part of the Street Fighter franchise, and are contemporary to the events of the game . Yun makes a non-canon appearance which is explained by time travel (in his own quotes), since the events of Alpha series happen way when he was nothing but a toddler. But he is still part of the franchise, so not a guest, per se.

Ingrid, however, is a conundrum wrapped inside a enigma and kept inside a locked puzzle box missing some of its pieces. That is inside a cave inside a volcano under the pacific ocean. On the mariana trenches.

Ingrid is from a failed, unreleased CAPCOM game called CAPCOM Fighting All-Stars. Her first playable appearance is the ill-received crossover game CAPCOM Fighting Jam, known in Japan as CAPCOM Fighting Evolution.

In All-Stars, she was kind of a regular fighter, with a special importance to the plot and final boss. The very little we know about the plot hints on her being something beyond human. She carried a code Isis, is nicknamed the Eternal Goddess, and is said to posses the power of longevity.

On Fighting Jam, she has to solve some issues she had with Pyron, the final boss of that game and an alien who is basically a living sun and is hinted to be what ended the dinosaurs (i swear this is Darkstalkers Canon) Her ending there is... weird.

I brought this up because it adds a tiny little bit of context to her SFA3 MAX ending.

Ingrid claims ownership of the psycho power. Notice that its the power itself, not the Psycho Drive Bison's uses. And Bison is aware of that. Roses recognizes both as users of Psycho Power, even though she doesn't recognizes Ingrid. Also note at 00:59 that the focus point of the psycho drive carries Ingrid's Seal, the same one on the cups on her head AND the one she summons on her Fighting Jam ending. Oh, and she is capable of time travel. but no mention if she was the one who brought Yun to SFA3 time, though. What this all mean? Speculation time: According to Steven Mane's theory: With Ingrid being the creator of psycho power, Psycho power works better with women. You can even explain Bison's obsession with 16 year old girls: They are the ones who closely resemble Ingrid, who he knows is the original source of that power. This also explain why Bison's desire of a male body directly conflicts with psycho power: It was never meant for such body. and why there is so much female clones: It simply the result of experiments to see what fits better. But Bison is trying to get around this: He has been experimenting on both, noticing that male bodies deteriorate way faster, confirmed that female ones fit better, but for reasons only known to himself, this was not enough. The genderless Seth, a sentient machine build to gather psycho power, was Bison's latest attempt of circumvent the body type limitation, but it still didn't work (as stated by Bison himself) This is where Steven Mane's theory ends. But from that, we can jump to other conclusions: Ingrid is a goddess and is the source of Psycho Power energy. Notice that she is not the source of soul power though, so behind her innocent face, behind those red eyes, lies something sinister and evil. (Or maybe, Soul Power is simply Psycho Power with another name? Rose might be the one hiding something...) [Small June/2021 update: After a lazy Sunday re-reading the SF30th's bios, its is clear that Soul Power is not just Psycho Power with a different name. So if you want to follow this line of thought through, you have to consider that Ingrid is EVIL, or at least deals heavily with negative energies (closer to Akuma than Bison). and it opens the possibility of a God/Goddess of Soul Power somewhere out there on the SF Universe. but that is speculation for another time.]

Ingrid is time-travelling to specific points in time to collect parts of her power. Bison was one of those who stole it. Pyron probably did it too, and in 201X, Ryu has something to do with it.

Oh, extra fact: SFIII, the last game on the timeline, happens in 1999. SFV, the game that was released on the 10's, canonically happens during 1998. So the Ryu she is supposed to meet next is YET to appear (maybe in SF6?).

And because she is a time travellng goddess, not a dimension hopping one this means a direct connection between the worlds of Darkstalkers, Street Fighter and Red Earth, the three franchises from CAPCOM Fighting Jam: Darkstalkers' Human World could be considered to be Street Fighter's Earth, and Red Earth is literally another planet on the same universe, hinting a bigger CAPCOM shared timeline then we expected. We can also speculate that Bison ultimate goal would not be just global domination but to replace Ingrid as god/goddess of psycho power. And she took Yun to 1989 just for the LuLz. Why I didn't mentioned Ingrid up there in MY theory? because of CFN Portal. The Capcom Fighters Network Portal is essentially the final word on who is canon in Street Fighter. Released together with SFV, its a well documented, weirdly organized and deep source of any street fighter or final fight character you can imagine. Those 2 guys fighting on the intro of SF2 got bios there. As well as Hakan's daughters and Elena's Family. Heck, CFN Portal is the place that finally settled Chun-li's father name as Dorai.

There is also relevant guest characters and characters who appeared in other games but that CAPCOM consider part of the franchise and canon, such as Blade from the Street Fighter: The Movie game (now part of the North American operations of Shadaloo) and... Ruby Heart from MARVEL vs CAPCOM 2 (a version of her actually, before the events of that game). Ingrid is clearly shown as a guest character and NOT part of the street fighter franchise, as she does not have the SF franchise standard background. the only ones who this happen are special guests from, such as the ones from Street Fighter EX and Street Fighter 2010. Ingrid is also described there with her bio from CAPCOM Fighting All-Stars, rather then her own story on SFA3 MAX or even CAPCOM Fighting Jam, in a way making her role on SFA3 MAX similar to Evil Ryu's: A what-if non-canon scenario of the events of the game, that has no bearing on the main plot. Evil Ryu's ending are always Ryu kills everybody and wants more blood, never really explaining anything. Evil Ryu is more important as a visual representation of the dark side of Ryu rather than a character itself'. and because of that precedent, when CAPCOM itself gave her non-canon status, it's better to err on the side of caution and not consider her direct influence and acts when speculating about the plot and lore, unless they are the only source of some kind of hinted information. And there is one very canon character who has a situation like that. Killer Bee. As I mentioned before, the ONLY time Cammy acts as Killer Bee in canon is on her SFA3 arcade/story mode: In her intro against Rose, her very first fight, She initially starts under control of Bison. Rose actually recognizes Bison's Power and frees her, even before the fight starts. The fight itself is actually framed as a violent reaction to being freed. but there is a game where we can see Killer Bee Cammy in all her brainwashed glory: X-men vs Street Fighter. Released before Alpha 3 and the first game where Cammy is shown with her Alpha design. Her quotes there shows a profound reverence to Bison AND some are mechanical in nature. Goddess Ingrid (to differentiate a bit from Code Holder Ingrid) could be one of these instances: Canonically speaking, we know very little about Bison: What are his motivations, why he desires such levels of power or anything that would elevate him from one dimensional antagonist. Sagat started as that and became one of the most developed characters of the franchise. Gill is from the straight go good intentions that will end up bad. Seth is the whole reason of this essay, so I don't need to show you anymore how he turned out a interesting character. and there is G, who is either a suicide cult leader still looking for followers, or the savior of mankind. Not to mention that most players thought as a good guy until Rose's ending. like, holy psycho powered cow... Bison is still just the dictator who wants to rule the entire world. And the only character that deals with Psycho Power in a way that is not just evil power for the evil dictator is a character that, as far as CAPCOM is concerned, is not even acknowledged as the relevant version.

[androidemotions]

OK NEURODIVERGENT GAANG TIME BC I WANNA

these hcs are kinda halfway set in a modern au bc thats my context for this ! (gonna split it up so its not as long bc i drafted the original and it was LONG) water tribe siblings first !!!

Sokka

adhd/autism king 😌

[ID: a screenshot of Sokka standing on a raised stone platform with a map of the Fire nation hanging behind him. He’s holding his arms stiffly by his side with a wide-eyed look on his face, brows raised as he has his mouth open, saying something. End ID.]

- schedules to survive, he likes to know what hes getting into and if you try to change plans on him without warning he’ll be very resistant

- smart kid who doesnt study, oh he tries, oh boy does he try, he ends up reading the same sentence over and over until he gets distracted by drawing something, working on the blueprint for his latest invention, or with researching something completely unrelated to what he’s mean to be studying. then he tosses and turns all night because he’s stressed by not having studied, but when he actually takes the test he makes a 105, despite there not even being a bonus question, he just answered the essay question so well the teacher gave him an extra 5 points

- special interests?? we got em!!! classic weaponry (think swords, boomerangs, but also, like canons and catapults and shit) engineering/physics, art/drawing, strategy games. he tends to hyperfocus within his special interests, so like for a week he was hellbent on building his own full sized trebuchet, much to the dismay of Gran Gran who just wanted to grow her tomatoes without them being crushed by said full size trebuchet

- (also he plays all types of games probably, but he def plays those ones where you take over the world, like the ones online and azula also plays them too and they end up being rivals, while not actually knowing who the other is outside of their usernames)

- he also talks a lot in his classes/is like the ‘class clown’ and ppl think this is him not focusing but engaging this way actually helps him focus way more than sitting silently, a lot of teachers dont understand it but the ones who do are actually paying attention and realize that he’s generally talking/joking about their current topic

- some observations (this shit is all canon babey!!!) - sokka is great at being a leader and communicating in groups he’s in but he really really struggles in front of crowds, one-on-one and sokka can talk well, joke and stuff but as soon as he’s separate from other people and everyone is just listening he clams up (solar eclipse pt 1). he also loves to joke and make people laugh, and a lot of the time he misinterprets stuff because he’s autistic but he also will realize this and do it anyway because he thinks it’s funny and he likes laughing with his friends (idk if this happens in canon but i do this and sokka does too bc i said so :^). He also takes up the protector/comforting role but despite his best intentions he can sometimes say insensitive stuff and not even realize what he’s done to upset people (when he happily told aang ‘the whole world thinks your dead!’) works best when he feels needed, if he feels unnecessary or like something doesnt matter he struggles to complete it (i feel like the beginning of sokka’s master rlly demonstrates what i mean here), and this goes both ways, he will put too much value into certain things that he cares about and can get his priorities mixed if he’s focused too much on what he believes matters more than what might be most pressing (zuko destroyed his suki sculpture, oh right bc he was attacking aang)

Katara

she also has adhd/autism, (so do both Hakoda and Kya 💙)

[ID: a screenshot of Katara, Hakoda, Sokka, and Bato. Hakoda has his hand on Katara’s shoulder as they both look at Bato who is saying something, she has curious look on her face with her brows raised, while Hakoda looks exasperated. Sokka beside him his also looking curiously up at Bato, with one brow raised and the other furrowed. Bato has a neutral expression on his face as he speaks. End ID.]

- palms sweaty thoughts spaghetti, she tries to be practical bc she thinks someone needs to be but really her brain is like a runaway train, she sees something that needs doing and is like, guess ill do that now! and drops whatever she was doing first. she can get very anxious because of this because all the thing that need doing start to pile up because theyre all in her brain at once. that and as much as she tries to be practical she’s very impulsive, getting help from other people really helps alleviate this stuff

- interacting w ppl, when she was only part of her own smaller community she had a lot less toll on her, bc she knew everyone and was used to them, as she meets more people she gets really frustrated with how many people seem to refuse to say what they really mean. Katara is very straightforward herself and she says what she means, so even tho she gets more and more perceptive when interacting with new people, she resents how much she has to work just to decipher what people really mean half the time.

- caring for ppl, with people she cares about communicating is much easier bc she knows them, so she’s very open about her feelings around these people, and she can be hyper empathetic at times, but then sometimes she will say SUPER insensitive stuff off the cuff because she’s just very impulsive and she might regret it after the fact but she really struggles with apologizing because being wrong makes her feel like ppl are going to reject her

- perceptions, she knows what’s expected of her by the world, but she really rejects the idea that she has to stay in her role. still, she has internalized a lot of these expectations and tries to perform them, even when she sometimes struggles. beyond herself, she’s very certain about what she knows is wrong and has a strong moral code, she sees something wrong and she wants to fix it.

- she’s awful in school, not because she’s not smart, but she’s smart in ways that society does not appreciate. she doesnt care at all about all the worksheets and math she’s never gonna use, and all the history that got distorted, she’s much better at learning stuff on her own and she will go on deep dives of subjects she cares about and is super knowledgeable abt them.

also:

[ID: A cropped screenshot of Sokka with his arms extended outwards, palms flat as he gestures. He has a slight grin on his face with his mouth open to speak, eyebrows raised and looking at the viewer calmly. He’s wearing his usual blue tunic with the Earth Rumble XI belt along with his earth kingdom bag hanging across his chest. The text on the image says, “This post made by ADHD Sokka gang. End ID.]

[ID: a cropped screenshot of Hakoda, he has a serious expression on his face as he looks ahead. The text on the post reads, “This post made by ADHD Hakoda gang.” End ID.]

from this post (part of what inspired me to write these out) @meteor-sword​ now just katara needs one 😄

adhd aang next, i will finally live up to my url (will edit with a link when i post)

[calumrose]

Trigger [Police/Gang!AU] Chapter 3 || C.H

A//N: Haven’t got very much to say this time which makes a change! So... yeah... here’s chapter 3! Enjoy!!

Word Count: 9.2k

Summary: Eloise Gray and Calum Hood, not two people you would ever think to put together. What started as a ploy for power turned into a romance, resulting in the realisation that loving your enemy may not be such a bad thing after all.

Previous Chapters: Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

26 Days Left

The small café bustled around her; people engrossed in the art of conversation, blinded to the passing of time as they spent their hard-earned money on overpriced coffee and small sandwiches. She sat at the small table in the corner, the cold metal of the chair beneath her squeaking with every adjustment she made to her position, her hand wrapped around the cheapest coffee she could muster the courage to purchase to avoid conversation with a stranger who would make her presence known to be unwelcome in the small business unless she bought something.

Her phone lay on the dark wooden table, the device open on her rather empty Instagram account, the few people she followed sharing photos she had already witnessed a thousand times before, the sight now boring her to the bone. She clicked on the icon which took her to her own profile, her eyes looking over the few posts she had made over the years, the last one being a year after her dad died. The single photo stood out in comparison to the others, the photograph bringing a smile to her face while also conducting nothing but pain in her heart. She had shared a photograph of a happy day; the smiles of both her parents as they stood with Eloise between them on a hill, the view behind them breathtakingly beautiful. The caption was something that she had debated over for hours when she decided to post it, it constantly being edited and changed until she settled on her decision of a simple ‘I miss you’. A small yet powerful combination of words that spoke louder than any actions could for her.

Eloise quickly swiped the app to a close, sighing quietly to herself as she listened for the sound of café door opening, the little bell stationed above the door frame making it an easy thing to track. It wasn’t her usual scene; a café like this one. It was nice but she didn’t belong there, feeling as though she was a stranger in her own city within these brightly painted walls. She had to remind herself that there was a reason as to why she was here, a reason to why she had pushed herself out of bed this morning and ventured into Queens for the second time that week. She sipped on the bitter dark liquid, the patterned mug in her hands warming her nicely as she patiently waited, her foot steadily tapping against the black panels of the floor, the lingering taste on her tongue rekindling why she wasn’t the biggest fan of coffee most days.

The café door squeaked as it was pulled open, the sound of New York traffic momentarily being heard before it was overpowered by the ringing of the small golden bell as the door brushed against it. The suction of the door connecting with the frame once again lingered in the café as two more bodies joined the already crowded business. Eloise’s eyes followed them as they walked inside, the familiar broad shoulders and caramel skin catching her attention as she watched the tall man walk about to the counter to place his order. Her eyes fell to the woman who stood by his side, noting the difference in their height, watching their body language as they joked with one another and discussed the menu in front of them. She had hoped to find him here alone but with another body to grace her presence with, she guessed she would just need to pluck up the courage and get it over with sooner than expected.

She cleared her throat as she stood from her seat, leaving her warm coffee on the table as she took a steady few steps towards the small bannister that separated the seating area from the queue of people who waited to order at the counter. She braced her hands against it, leaning forward slightly as she braced herself to grab his attention. God, what was she doing…

“Hello stranger,” She called out, the corner of her lips tilting upwards at the sight of his shoulders freezing, his body slowly turning in place as their eyes met one another’s in a familiar dance. Fake feelings, Eloise, remember fake it! “I was wondering if I could grab you for a chat quickly,” Her brown eyes fell to the woman who stood beside him, a friendly smile gracing her lips as she nodded over in the direction of the table she was sat at previously, “I’ve got a table where we could talk if you’re not too busy?”

Eloise’s chest released a deal of tension she didn’t even realise was there at the sight of his nod as his smooth voice accepted her offer, “I’d like that.”

The faded sound of his voice could be heard over the crowded conversations of the café as he called to the woman that he came with to grab his order, naming it as his ‘usual’, as he excused himself through the growing queue of customers before walking over and talking a seat opposite where Eloise sat at the petite table in the corner of the café. She couldn’t help but notice his attire; admiring the crisp, white button-up shirt, his black slacks and coinciding black boots which oddly worked with the formal fabrics on his body, the main claimant of her attention though, was the jacket he wore: a charcoal coloured pea coat. The fabric accentuated his broad shoulders, the structured lining of the coat only highlighting his mesmerising stature, making him seem as though he was more muscular than he actually was. He looked good. Actually, scratch that, he looked gorgeous, and Eloise couldn’t deny that.

“I know you said you’d find me, but I won’t lie, I didn’t expect you follow through,” His chuckle echoed in her ears, his gentle eyes finding hers from across the table, “You had me nervous that I wouldn’t see you again if I’m completely honest,”

She grasped the mug of now-cold coffee in her hands, lacing her fingers around the cold ceramic as she stared up at him, “I just wanted to thank you again for the other night and apologise again for leaving you with an almighty pair of blue balls,” She couldn’t hold back her giggle at the final words, “I do feel a little bit bad about that you’ll be glad to hear.” She noted how his cheeks at heated her words, the thought of that night briefly dancing across his mind.

“Speaking of that night, I asked you a question before you left but you seemed awfully rushed and I don’t believe you gave me a proper answer,” He teased, his eyebrows raising as his eyes watched while her own chocolate ones burrowed into his.

“From what I can recall, I told you I would think about it,”

“And I’ve decided that I’m not taking that as a valid answer, sorry, but I don’t make the rules,” Calum smirked, “The CEO of first dates doesn’t do ‘maybes’.”

Eloise had to fight the smile spreading on her face at his stupid response, every muscle in her face pressing against the urge to laugh at his terrible line.

“The CEO of first dates?” She rolled her eyes, “Really? Could you not have just said you would like a straight answer instead of throwing out that god-awful joke?”

“It made you smile though didn’t it?” He noted the corner of her mouth twitch, knowing she was fighting a smile that he had easily enticed, “So that’s a win in my book.” He was still such a smooth talker, although she couldn’t say the same about him when he was drunk.

Eloise wanted to scream at the smug smile on his face, trying to remind herself that he was a police officer, and this was all part of a plan. None of this is genuine, she kept telling herself, it’s all part of a game.

But why shouldn’t she have fun with it? Why not enjoy it while she could? Who was Eloise to deny herself a bit of fun and no feelings. No true feelings anyway.

“I guess for the sake of your reputation I better give you a ‘yes’ then,” Eloise smirked as she spoke, sipping on the disgustingly cold drink in her hands, “Can’t have you handing back a poor report to Mr. CEO.”

“He and I both greatly appreciate your cooperation, and just to show our appreciation, I’ll let you pick where we go for dinner.” Calum’s smirked matched the one wore by Eloise.

“How kind of you,” The mocking tone of her voice only enticed Calum further, “But going for dinner isn’t my style, I don’t really fit into the typical little black dress and fancy suit dinners that I’m sure you’re used to.” It was as if her body was on fire as he stared at her, the heat radiating of her hands almost as hot as the temperature the coffee previously steamed with. “Why don’t you surprise me? I’ll let you take some control.”

The way those words rolled from her tongue had Calum’s stomach doing flips, his eyes flickering for the glimpse at her lips as her tongue poked out at the final letter. Something about the girl who sat opposite him tantalised him, the way her fingers curled around the ceramic mug taunted him, the way her eyelashes fluttered with every blink made him feel things he didn’t even know were possible.

“What time will I pick you up?” The question came from his lips before he had even thought it through, his breath quite literally being stolen at the sight of her.

“Eager, are we? What if I’ve got plans tonight?”

“Cancel them.” It came out as more of an order than a friendly suggestion, his voice deepened as his stare hardened on her. His tone was the perfect mixture of silk and sandpaper, Eloise becoming fascinated by the contrast.

Her eyes held their stare out with his midnight ones, her hand grabbing hold of the napkin that sat scrunched up on the table before she held her hand out for him, “Have you got a pen?”

Calum couldn’t even register his hand reaching into his pocket, searching for the tool before his eyes dropped to her hand scribbling on the white tissue in front of him. She smiled as she pushed the napkin and pen back towards the tall god, standing to her feet as she placed the pen in the pocket of his shirt that peeped out behind his jacket, her teeth gaining a delicate hold on the inside of her bottom lip. “Let me know what time you’re coming, and I’ll send you the address. I guess I’ll see you tonight, lover boy.”

Words hadn’t even had a chance to form in Calum’s throat before she made her way outside and left the café, smirk spread across her face as she turned left onto the busy street of the city. The sun beat down on her face as she walked, Calum’s eyes following her as she soon disappeared out of sight, leaving him sat at the table with nothing but a cold coffee and messy napkin in midst. His let his eyes drop from the chair she once sat on, the ink that littered the scrunched piece material on the table catching his eye as he read the text quietly to himself, registering the pattern of numbers were in fact a phone number. She had left her phone number.

A single corner of his lip upturned as he shoved the tissue into his pocket, smirking slyly to himself at the thought of her. He couldn’t do anything else but smile or smirk when it came to her: a total stranger.

“You look pleased with yourself,” A voice called out, a takeaway cup of coffee being placed into his eyeline as his hands reached up to grasp it, his eyes glancing up to meet with Nikki’s, the woman he had abandoned at the front of the café. “But then again, when aren’t you?”

Calum rolled his eyes as he stood up, taking the food bag from her in his other hand, following her out of the café as they called their goodbyes to the owner before heading back to Nikki’s car. It was their weekly trip out of the precinct for lunch, treating themselves to their favourite sandwich from one of the best cafes in the city.

“What did she want?” Nikki’s voice cut the silence as they climbed into the vehicle. The smell of fresh bread and coffee filled the car rather quickly as their doors closed, the smell being one that Calum loved, a small comfort that made a great impact.

“She has a name, y’know,” Calum smirked as he unwrapped his sandwich, resting his left ankle on his right knee the best he could due to the small space within the car, “And it’s nothing big, I met her a few days ago so it was just a friendly chat.”

“Uh huh,” Nikki’s dark eyebrows raised as she turned in her seat, taking a gentle sip of her coffee from the black takeout cup. She could see the way Calum avoided answering her question in full, admired the effort but wasn’t stupid enough to let him off that easy. “Something about her has clearly got you smiling, Cal, and I want to know what, especially considering she doesn’t typically give people things to smile about.”

Calum’s brows furrowed at her final sentence, his eyes catching hers from the side as he took a bite of his well-compact sandwich. He chewed the contents, turning his head to give his partner an uneasy look, unsure of what she meant. Nikki knew this look; she had gotten to know it all too well over the years.

“You do know who she is right?” Nikki choked out, placing her coffee back into the cupholder of her car, holding her still-wrapped sandwich in her hand, turning further in her seat so she sat with her full attention facing Calum, “Eloise Gray? Does the name ring a bell?”

Nikki couldn’t ignore as she watched the hamster wheel inside Calum’s head began to spin, letting him piece together the few pieces of the small puzzle before a subtle wave of realisation hit him. His mind going back to the briefing he received at the station not too long ago.

“She’s Thomas Gray’s daughter, Calum, she’s a Gypsy King,” The name spat from Nikki’s tongue like a blow-dart, “And with the current case Charlie’s got going on, I don’t think it’s the best idea that you’re seen with her. It’s asking for trouble, and I’m not just talking about if Charlie were to find out.”

He kept his face calm and collected, the realisation setting in of why her name sounded so pretty being spoken from his lips. Not only did beauty drip from her name, or her eyes cause Calum to feel as though he was drowning, he had seen her before without even realising. She was in dozens of police reports that he had looked over and passed to other officers, handing them to the newly established gang unit to sort. He swore he could hear the silent clock of the car radio begin to tick as silence swallowed him, the images of the pretty brunette flashing across his mind like a laser light show.

Calum was aware of the outbreak that would occur if his Lieutenant were to discover his casual sit down with Eloise alone, never mind the innocent drunken night they had shared together. Although they were innocent to bystanders, Calum knew the true extend of his feelings between them; she was a Rubik’s cube he couldn’t solve, and he wanted to keep going back for another try. What puzzled him was that he didn’t under why he kept wanting to go back. Why he wanted to try and crack her. There was a level of infatuation he hadn’t experienced before, and it intrigued him.

“Don’t worry about it, Nik, it’s just a drunken thing that’ll fade into nothing in a few days,” Calum shrugged, picking up a fallen piece of cucumber from his sandwich, popping it into his mouth as he chewed, “Charlie doesn’t need to know nothing that doesn’t affect his case.”

“I just hope you know what you’re doing, Cal, if anyone found out you had even spoken to one of those gang bangers you know what would happen,” Her words laced with fear for her partner. Her rough hand coming to rest on his shoulder as she squeezed it, the war going on behind his eyes visible to her as she sat opposite him within the confined space. “She’s dangerous. You need to forget and erase her, don’t let a girl like her flash a smile and make you her lap dog.”

*****

26 Days Left

The drive to his apartment was almost as pretty as him she noted, luxurious tall buildings lining the roads into the Queens; the city coming alive with energy in the early evening. Eloise couldn’t stop telling herself how crazy she was for not cancelling this date when she received his text, telling her that he would pick her up just after seven that evening. She had to remind herself multiple times as she got ready that it was part of the plan that she had to follow through with. She reminded herself that once they got the shipment, she could forget Calum existed and disappear. That’s what kept her willing to follow through with the ploy, the taste of freedom and tranquillity on the tip of her tongue and she was dying to for a bite.

Eloise subconsciously dissected Calum’s attire for the evening, noting that he clearly hadn’t changed from he had finished his shift, coming straight from the precinct to come and collect her. His coat had been discarded in the backseat, the white sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows, revealing the familiar black ink along his arms that lit an unbecoming flame in her stomach. He had loosened the top few buttons of the shirt, although she had noticed from the café, he had never buttoned the top two anyway, allowing for a more rugged and free spirit to be perceived of him as he drove.

She wondered if anyone else knew that he was out a date? Did they know it was with her? Eloise couldn’t help but wonder if the woman from the café this morning had asked about her? What did Calum say? Would she be mad if he didn’t tell anyone? She couldn’t be, not really. All the Gypsy Kings new about her whereabouts tonight, that being because she was technically ‘working’, which wasn’t a lie.

She couldn’t help to feel underdressed compared to Calum, even though he only wearing what he wore to work that day. She compared his white shirt and slacks to her dark jeans and oversized acid-wash black sweatshirt, the lace strap of her bra poking out where the material slumped down her shoulder. She didn’t dress for dates, what she was supposed to wear?

“Should I be worried about what you have planned?” Her eyes glanced at his focused expression before they met the road ahead, watching as they passed by a park, the sound of gentle discussion buzzing around the space from the low volume of the radio. “Please don’t tell me you’re taking me to an assault course to put me the through my paces or something.”

Calum couldn’t hold back his small laugh, shaking his head as he turned down the road to his right, continuing on his journey to their destination. “As much as I would love to see you attempt to jump one of those 8ft walls, I’m not exactly dressed for it, but maybe next time.”

“Next time?” She repeated, smirking playfully as the colour of his cheeks deepened at the realisation of his words, “We’re not even ten minutes into this date and you already think you’ll be getting another one? You’re confident, I’ll give you that.”

“Is that a yes to another date I hear?”

“It’s a maybe,” She responded, slowing down the words as they left her lips, feeling his eyes on her as they recalled their previous brief discussion of ‘maybe’ not being a valid answer.

The road Calum drove down began to familiarise with Eloise, her eyes recognising the street signs and the flowers that decorated the lampposts. She caught sign of a graffiti artist on the corner, a can in his hand as he stood back and admired the work he had created. It amused her, sitting in a car with a police officer, witnessing an act of vandalism, being a criminal herself, and feeling nothing but admiration for the artwork in her sights.

Calum couldn’t stop himself from thinking how different she was from that first sober morning they had together, the distance between them seeming cold as she desperately looked for an excuse to leave. Almost as if she were afraid of what she had done with him that night. But now, she seemed confident, full of attitude and ready for whatever would be thrown her way. She seemed as if she was ready to have fun, to enjoy herself with his company. That’s what he hoped anyway.

She could feel his eyes practically burning the side of her head at her response, his reaction to it delayed due him driving but now that he was parked, he could give his full attention. She removed herself from the car before he had a chance to speak, smirking to herself before closing the door behind her and stepping onto the grass next to his drive. The house brought back memories Eloise could only lie and say she wished to forget, memories of a secret night that no one else knew the true events of. “So, what have you got planned for this first date then? If we’re back at your place and you’re not dressed for an assault course, what could you possibly have in mind? Game night? I promise you I could kick your ass in a round of Mario Kart,”

“Will you get this stupid idea of an assault course out of your head? I can assure you that I have a plan for tonight, and it includes no running and no climbing, I promise you that. And fortunately for me by the sounds of things, no Mario Kart either.”

“Shame.” She whispered, sending a wink in his direction before she turned on her feet, making her way up to the front door of his home, hearing his own footsteps follow closely behind her.

He opened his door to reveal the familiar space to her, a space where she panicked on a different night and had set herself up for the position she was in currently. She walked inside after some gentle coaxing from Calum, removing her shoes and leaving them by the door as she followed him into the open plan living room/kitchen.

“You can make yourself comfortable and there should be some drinks in the fridge, I’m just going to quickly get changed, so I shouldn’t be long.” He excused himself, quickly disappearing down the grey hallway Eloise remembered all too well, the photograph flashing across her mind as she watched his body disappear behind the neutral coloured wall of his hallway.

Eloise stood there alone in the house of the respected detective, her warm brown eyes looking around the walls that surrounded her as she took a few silent steps and admired the home. It was nice, she couldn’t deny it. It was really nice. It seemed so homely, so warm and comforting, the complete opposite to her apartment. She felt as though she didn’t need to worry about the boiler packing in when she stood in this house, assurance being silently given that it would be never a problem, neither would any leaking taps or a broken cupboard door beneath the sink.

Tip tap tip tap tip tap tip tap… The noise clicked in Eloise’s ears, the sound reminding her of nails against a keyboard at a computer. Her eyes searched the room, trying to source where the repetitive clicketing was coming from. She turned around, looking towards the glass sliding door next to the TV, hearing the low repetitive sound as she turned. What was that noise? She turned again, looking towards the dining room table, remembering the individual chair where she found her jacket that morning. Tip tap – there it was again! She sighed as she looked around, her brain not being able to piece together where on earth the tapping was coming from. It was a small bark that vibrated through the room which made her suddenly realise. She leaned over the kitchen island to find a small black and white pooch sitting as he looked down at the metal food bowl in front of him.

It was a dog all along. Eloise released a sigh of relief as she walked around the kitchen counter, smiling as she knelt down next to the pup, reaching her hand out slowly, turning it so he had an opportunity to give her a sniff and decide if he would befriend her or not. In all honesty, Eloise didn’t think he cared at this point. The only thought on that little guy’s mind right now – dinner. She chuckled as he gave an inquisitive sniff, his big cow-like eyes staring up at her with a tilt of his head before he looked back down at his silver dish, brushing it with his nose and causing it to collide with the island, the clashing sound echoing briefly in the room.

“Duke, man, we get you’re hung- Oh, you’re down there!” Calum stopped himself midsentence, registering Eloise sitting cross-legged next to the hungry pup.

“I didn’t know you had a dog,” Eloise spoked as she stroked the dog, Duke’s, head before hauling herself to a stand, lifting his food bowl as she handed to Calum over the island-top, “If I’d known you had a dog, I would have said yes to a date a lot quicker. He’s adorable.”

“You hear that, mate?” Calum laughed, looking down at his canine friend, “You’ve got more lady luck than your old man.”

“He’s your secret weapon.” Eloise joked, giggling lightly as she leaned on the counter and watched as Calum fed the small pup.

She couldn’t help her eyes from drifting over to the pot that sat on the countertop on the other end of the kitchen, her curiosity getting the better of her as she moved towards it, her nose beginning to sense the smell of spices as well as a million other delicious smells that drifted from the pot. “What’s this?” She asked, reaching to lift the lid before Calum stopped her.

“That’s actually leftovers from last night,” He chuckled, “I was gonna order some takeout for us as I don’t have much in the cupboards and it seems easier to order in than make something that I don’t know if you’ll actually like.”

“What are they leftovers of?” She asked him, ignoring his idea of takeout as she lifted the pot lid, smiling to herself as she examined the food inside. It looked so good - definitely more appealing that a cheap takeaway.

“I had tried out a new recipe that I found online. I attempted to make Mongolian beef, and it ended up being edible, but I would still say takeout tastes better.” He tried to tactfully excuse Eloise from the kitchen, subtly trying to place the lid back onto the pot. He seemed to be embarrassed at his attempt at cooking.

“It probably tastes better than anything I can cook,” She shrugged, looking at him with a comforting smile, “Why don’t we just eat the rest of this? ‘T means we don’t need to wait for the food to eventually arrive, we just need to heat this up and cook some rice or something to go with it.”

“El, we don’t have to do that, there’s a pizza place literally around the corn- “

“You can order pizza if you want, but I’m gonna have some of this. Now, where do you keep your bowls?” She walked further into the middle of the kitchen, beginning to pull open cupboards as she searched for a bowl to heat her meal in.

Calum watched on as she searched, her hands collecting utensils that she thought she would need, placing them out onto the kitchen counter. “Am I not supposed to be treating you for a first date? But instead I’m letting you eat leftovers from my own dinner last night.”

“You can try and stop me, but just know it won’t end well for you.” She shrugged; a teasing smile hidden from Calum as she turned to spoon some of the aromatic heaven from the big pot into a smaller one.

He contemplated trying to stop her, to insist that he buy them a pizza, but something told him there was no changing her mind. She seemed persistent in eating what he had prepared the previous night and she seemed happy to embrace his attempt at cooking something new.

“For god’s sake Calum, just eat with me please,” She sighed, a hint of frustration teasing her voice as Calum stood there with his phone in his grip, seeming to still be contemplating ordering some form of takeaway, “Luckily for you I am the master of reheating food, so sit back and let me work my magic.”

*****

Eloise smiled widely as she place her empty bowl down on the coffee table, smiling at Calum as he ate his last few bites. “You’ve seriously got some hidden talent in the kitchen, that was so tasty.” She smiled widely, taking a sip of her beer before she rested it back down on the coaster.

“I’m glad you liked it, it’s nice to have someone else’s opinion who I can actually understand,” He laughed, “Duke will eat almost anything he can get and as much as I can appreciate his excitement by him wagging his tail I have to admit some human validation is nice.”

Eloise took his empty bowl from him, piling with hers before sitting back on the couch, turning so she faced Calum fully, her legs curling beneath as she admired the man sitting opposite her in his laid-back attire. The navy t-shirt he wore hugged his torso beautifully, the skinny jeans clinging to his legs in all the right places as he sat on the couch, head resting against his fist as he rested his focus on her.

“So, how long have you lived in New York?” She asked, trying to kick off a conversation in the hopes of avoiding awkward small talk. “When I met you that night, I noticed your accent was a bit varied, if you get what I mean, there was a hint of something in there that I couldn’t quite work out,”

He couldn’t stop the small chuckle that he let out at her comment. “I moved here when I was 18, lived in Los Angeles briefly before coming here, and before that I lived in Australia for years as it’s where I grew up,” He smiled as he talked about where he had been, “Left Sydney to try and find something new elsewhere, discovered that the New York Police Academy were taking applications, thought to give it a shot, and now all these years later, I’m here.”

Eloise noted the pride he seemed to carry when he talked about where he came from, talking about his journey from where he started to where he is now, elaborating throughout their discussion, talking about his family; his parents who still lived in Australia while his sister who lived in London for the past few years. His family seemed very well travelled, having been all over the world to visit one another and spend holidays together.

She noted to herself that she needed to ask more about his job – it was the whole reason why she was even here. Although she had to keep reminding herself of that every time she cracked smiled at him.

“Being a cop in New York must get pretty hectic. I can’t imagine the kind of things you see on a daily basis,” She spoke out, her hands cradling her beer as she tilted her head and watched while he listened, “This city is full of different kinds of people; killers, drug dealers, rapists, every imaginable kind of scum… this city is littered with them and we live amongst them while you guys risk your lives trying to catch them in order to protect the people who live here. It’s something to truly be admired.” She registered his nod as a response to her words, her sigh shallow as she took a breath and readied herself to ask another question, “What kind of investigations do you lead in your department anyway, if you don’t mind me asking? Do you guys specialise in certain areas or is it just whatever comes your way?”

Was she sounding too interested? Maybe. Did she care? No. She wanted to know what and who she was dealing with. She had a job to do, this was her way of gaining intel; information she could use to her advantage at a later date.

“A few different matters tend to come our way: homicides, narcotics, things like that. We’ve recently expanded the gang unit as well, that now comes through our precinct, so we keep track of what goes on behind the scenes of gangs like the White Wolves, the Calavera’s, the Ryders,” He listed off a few notorious names, watching as her eyes kept in line with his, “The unit specialises in taking down the groups of criminals in the city, and those three are only a selected few of who we’re chasing.”

Eloise’s heart hit rock bottom at his words, praying he didn’t notice her breath pick up as she tried to keep her composure, watching as he sighed and went to take a sip of his own beer that he had grabbed from the table. She knew they would be after the Gypsy Kings as well, silently thanking her lucky stars that he didn’t mention them. Yet.

But Calum knew she was relieved at the absence of her own gang’s name, having noticed as her body language had subtly changed as he talked about the purpose behind the hunt. Calum knew who she ran with and it surprised him that he wanted to tell her that he knew, but was it worth it? To sell himself out all because he thought she was pretty and thought she may actually like him? Was Calum enough of a mug to believe that a violent, pretty, young girl could be attracted to a law-abiding detective? Maybe.

“Why do you want to hunt them out so badly?” She asked, mentally slapping herself as soon as the words left her mouth, “Let me rephrase that, surely some are more dangerous than others, why not just go after the ones who cause physical harm to the innocent? If they aren’t hurting anyone, is it such a bad thing that they give themselves an odd name and call themselves tough?”

“It is when the Lieutenant’s obsessed with them,” He returned, “Especially Charlie, I mean, he’s got this fixation on capturing them all. He claims he wants to make New York a safer city but it’s getting out of hand, I think… I think he needs help, but no one has the guts to tell him he’s taking it too far. He wants revenge against the those who had wronged the city and it seems as though he’ll go to any length just to get what he wants.”

Eloise’s chest hitched at the acknowledgement of the police Lieutenant. His face being one that she couldn’t forget, one that brought back a sickening twist within her stomach as she recalled the times she had been graced with his presence in the past.

“I know someone like that,” She admitted, smiling sadly as she stared down at the bottle in her lap, “Someone who’s so hungry for control, for power, that something which starts of as a reasonable demand becomes such an unhealthy obsession. It causes them to blur the boundary lines of what’s reasonable and what’s flat-out wrong.”

Calum’s eyes noted how her eyes seemed to drift, wondering what she was thinking as she sat there on his couch. Her body tensed as she thought back the times years ago when she was dragged into the station, her wrists burning as they remembered the nipping sensation of the handcuffs, the tight grip of larger hands on her forearms as she was dragged and pushed into interrogation rooms. It felt as though someone had lit Eloise on fire, her chest igniting as the memories flowed through her body as if they were as fresh as yesterday.

The Australian’s eyes watched as her body worked at calming itself, sitting back and watching as he gave her a moment that she didn’t know she needed, his memory travelling back to earlier that day.

Calum sat at his desk, his curiosity getting the better of him as he urged to pull up her file on their system. He achingly denied that Nikki’s words had impacted him in some way, the word dangerous resonating in the back of his mind. But Calum knew better than to ignore the nagging voice in the back of his head when his curiosity spiked. He wanted to know just how dangerous she was claimed to be; to see if he should fear the girl who he was supposed to see later that night.

The office was quiet for a change, many of the officers being out on a call or already having taken their lunch break. His fingers worked on his keyboard, his teeth barely nipping at the inside of his lip as he searched through the database on his screen. His eyes briefly scanned the first new names that opened up, sighing as he filtered through the text, finding the file that he debated opening. The click of the mouse dimly echoed in his ears as another window opened on his screen, a picture of a young brunette making itself present alongside a detailed history. Calum couldn’t help but notice how young she looked in the mugshot on screen, her eyes dull and broken, her lip nursing a rather aggressive cut along it, her hair was shorter; the colour still as vibrant as he had been a witness to that morning.

The words in the file then caught his attention, the long list of recorded events blurring together as Calum sifted through them. He skimmed over the word ‘possession’, reading the briefing that detailed that a collection of evidence didn’t hold together at trial and she was released with a non-guilty verdict at 18. Another record was found detailing an altercation when she was 16 in a subway station, being arrested for brandishing a weapon, not many details on that arrest other than she was bailed out by her uncle due to her young age. He read the history of her troubled demeanour, noting her aggression during questioning as well as aggravation towards numerous officers.

The family link caught his attention next, his eyes scanning over the blue hyperlink that stood out on the white page. His hand trailed the mouse over the screen, opening the link before he could argue with himself. His brain kept repeating, ‘If you’re going on a date with a criminal, you should know what to expect’ when really what it wanted to say was something along the lines of ‘You’re crazy. You shouldn’t go’ but her beauty intrigued him, as did everything else about her.

What was so fascinating about a troubled girl? What did she have that made Calum want her?

He was greeted with two newly opened windows on his computer, both labelled as deceased files. He took an uneasy breath, rolling his lips inside of his mouth as he picked the one of the left side to investigate first. He couldn’t hold back the expression of grimace at the photograph of the body on the cold morgue slab, sighing as he quickly minimised it, being left with the detailed document that came with the file. He read over the name, a regrettable sigh of realisation leaving his nose as his eyes followed down, reading the notes containing the tragic story and medical history of the woman in the photograph and how she had met her end. Calum’s heart tugged with sorrow at the thought of a woman, so young, meeting a brutal ending like what he had read. His dark eyes read each word with haste, the detailed description of her injuries bringing images to Calum’s mind he couldn’t bear to picturise.  

Further down the page, he found details of when her body was examined by the medical examiners; stating that she suffered severe blunt force trauma to her head, as well as a bullet to the temple before she was abandoned and left to bleed out where she was found. His stomach erupted in nerves, his mind thinking of his own family and trying to think what he would do in that situation, but he couldn’t even begin to interpret what that would be like. His eyes caught sight of the final few words on the page of the open file, reading them with intent as he pieced together what was in front of him.

The body of Natalia Gray was discovered in the evening of September 17th in 2007 by her daughter, Eloise. The 11-year-old phoned the emergency services, explaining that her mother was hurt and needed help. She mentioned that there had been some shouting as unknown men came into her home, resulting her mother ushering her in a cupboard beneath the stairs in order to protect her. Natalia was DOA. Cause of death depicted as gunshot wound to the head, labelled as murder. Details of examination were handed over to Lieutenant White for pending investigation.

Examination: September 18th, 2007

Calum released a disappointed sigh, scanning over Charlie’s title a few times as he continued down the document, expecting to find further recordings of the investigation into the murder of this woman who he learnt to be Eloise’s mother, but what he found was nothing. The file ended abruptly and had remained unchanged since the input date back in 2007. Why wasn’t it investigated further? If her death was ruled as a murder, then why was there no case file attached? Calum couldn’t help but fear that his Lieutenant’s craze for the Gypsy Kings ran so deep that his blood had turned cold. His distaste clouding his morals as he discarded a murder investigation of a child’s mother, tossing it to the side as if it was an insignificant gum wrapper. He swallowed an apprehensive breath that had hitched in his throat, his eyes staying trained on the lit-up window in front of him as he made the decision to continue.

His fingers worked as he closed the file, removing it from his screen before his dark eyes met the remaining open window on his monitor, letting out a deep breath as he prepared himself to read what he could only imagine would hold the same amount of tragedy as the first file. The name was the first thing to be seen, the name of the notorious Thomas Gray welcoming his brown eyes, as two pictures appeared that were attached to the document; one being a mugshot while the other matched the one of the lady before: his cold face as he lay on the chilling metal table of the morgue. His eyes followed through the endless stream of words, skimming the graphic details of the inhuman acts he had committed throughout the years. Calum fought with the logical side of his brain that battled with the human side, trying to block it out as he attempted to read the file as if he were an outsider looking in on a damaged family, watching as a story unfolded before him.

He noted the numerous narcotics dealings the man had hijacked, the murders he had been associated with, and the endless list of robberies he had conducted across the city and also out of state. Calum had heard the stories of what he had done throughout his time with the Gypsy Kings, the stories circling the throughout every inch of the city, but Calum never expected to see it in writing. Did Eloise know about all of this? He didn’t understand why she was his first thought when it came to this. Maybe because it was her dad? Maybe there was another reason why his heart ached at the thought her suffering with this knowledge…

Calum acknowledged the few straggling officers walking around him, ignoring what he could only dread they would say if they were to see him pulling up old files that had no affiliations with the investigations that he was currently leading.

His eyes caught the closing statement of the examination, letting them draw to a close, his eyelashes brushing against his cheeks as he let out an almost broken sigh, his head hanging low as he broke contact with the screen midsentence. He couldn’t believe what he was reading. The words stung without him realising, his body somehow numb to the pain of his heart as he thought of the girl he barely knew. How could someone witness what she had seen at such a young age, on more than one occasion, and carry on? Calum couldn’t comprehend it.

But neither did Eloise, but Calum was yet to learn that.

He let his head rest in his hand as he continued to read the sentence from where his eyes had broken from, his gut twisting almost painfully as he pushed himself to come to the end of the string of brutal words.

Thomas Gray’s body was discovered in the living room of his own home on 4th April in 2011. He was found by his daughter, Eloise, when she returned from a shopping trip, but the emergency services were contacted by an older male who remained nameless. Thomas was found with a Glock 17 in his hand with the chamber empty, a hole found in the left side of his head that matches the bullets that belong the weapon. Gunshot residue was discovered on his hands and clothes, the impact of the shot coming from a short distance resulting in a quick death. Thomas was DOA. Cause of death depicted as suicide. Details of examination were handed over to Lieutenant White for pending investigation.

Examination: April 7th, 2011.

Again, the notes were passed to Lieutenant White once the examination was complete. And again, Calum found that the file ended abruptly; no further investigation notes and no case file attached. Both deaths seeming to have been brushed under a rug and forgotten. Something didn’t feel right, Calum could sense it. Even the examination date seemed to have something incredulous about it. His nimble fingers worked as he closed Thomas’s file, his brown eyes suddenly meeting Eloise’s younger ones as he was graced with her picture yet again. He must’ve forgotten to close her lead.

Nikki’s warning of Eloise replayed yet again, almost as if now it made some sort of sense. Of course, she was dangerous, she was a grieving young woman who had to grow up without her parents. A young woman who had forgone a great tribulation, one that Calum could only imagine that burdened her with great pain and suffering.

Calum couldn’t help but wonder if she spoke to people. If she spoke to someone about the deaths of her parents or if she even acknowledged them?

Who was he kidding, of course she acknowledged them, you fool!

Eloise thought about them every day, he had no idea of the pain that she suffered for years, it only growing more intense as each year passed. And Calum couldn’t help but to, deep down, have the inkling, the desire to be the one to heal her.

For a man who hadn’t even learnt where in New York the girl called home, he couldn’t stop his heart from wishing to be the home that she searched for.

He couldn’t tear his eyes from her lips as they pressed against the lip of the bottle, her head craning back, giving him a full view of the expenditure of her neck, the faded bruises from their night together still fresh in his mind as he thought of the areas they covered, reimaging the process of painting her skin once more. “What’re you staring at, hm?” She smirked, her eyes sparkling beneath the yellow-toned overhead light.

It was as if something took over him, something took control as he let himself submit to the urge that was burning inside him. Calum’s eyes seem to darken with hunger as he watched her lips move, every syllable announced with perfection, the teasing tone of her voice rippling through him as she looked at him. It was enough to throw him off his game, and boy did it.

“An unhealthy obsession.” He spoke softly, their gazes settling on one another for slightly longer this time, her eyes catching his lips briefly as the tip of his tongue poked out the lick along the bottom bit of flesh. She tried to swallow the growing lump in her throat as casually as possible, praying she somehow didn’t grab any more of his attention as she felt the heat down her back begin to rise as his eyes burned into her own.

Calum couldn’t stop himself, his body and voice moving too fast that his brain couldn’t keep up. He hadn’t felt an urge this strong before, as if something were pulling him towards her, the pull so strong that it was impenetrable. The cliché of ‘it’s so wrong it’s so right’ was rather fitting for the attraction but it was so much more than that. Calum felt the pull to her like a magnet, like a duck to water, it felt so natural to him and he didn’t understand why.

“It’s not good for you, y’know,” She whispered, her voice surprising her as it held up, unable to fight the flutter in her chest as he moved towards her, his hand prying the green bottle from her fingers as he returned it to the coaster on the coffee table, his own bottle being placed next to it, meanwhile his eyes never losing their gaze with her dark ones. “It can destroy you and everything you love if you let it. So, are you really willing to dance with the devil just to get a taste of what you want?”

“I’ll dance through hell a thousand times over if it means I can kiss you right now.”

Their faces were mere inches from each other, their warm breaths mixing together as they froze in place, the tension between them in the room clouding both their judgment. The plan was working perfectly for Eloise but her mind didn’t even cross it, her constant reminders of it being strictly business were nowhere to be heard as her eyes searched his, finding the dark abyss within them and it becoming somewhere she desperately wanted to explore.

Something inside of both of them screamed at them to stop but they couldn’t hear it over the sound of their hearts thrashing in their ears, the world around them seeming as if it was non-existent; all that breathed around them were their bodies as they slowly closed the distance between them. It felt as if her breath was stolen as his lips connected with her pink flesh, Eloise’s heart almost crashing to a halt as his hands cupped her delicate face as he kissed her.

It wasn’t like their first kiss together in the back of the taxi, instead it being much like the kisses they shared when they had laid in bed and held one another, their brains on a gentle buzz from the alcohol they had drank at the club, but even then, this time it was better.

Her hands found the collar of his shirt, unsure of what to do with the limbs, unsure of where to place them. Why did this feel so wrong but so right? Why did Eloise’s head scream for her to pull away, but her heart told her to keep going?

Han’s voice screamed in her ears as Calum continued his gentle assault on her lips. She tried to block it out, playing it off as telling herself that it was part of the plan, that it was the scheme they had arranged. So, why did her heart hurt every time she said it? Why did a piece of guilt eat at her as if she were lying to herself every time their lips connected in a beautiful kiss?

Could Eloise- No of course not… Eloise was loyal to the Gypsy Kings, having devoted her life to their cause – although she didn’t know what that really was. She dedicated every day to making sure the gang moved forward, that their legacy continued to grow. She wasn’t about to let a crush get in the way of that, or was she? Why did the voice in her head scream at her to tell him the truth already, as if she had just placed a dangerous bet down at the roulette table in Las Vegas? Why was she listening? Surely, she couldn’t betray those who kept a roof over her head, she couldn’t rat them out to the police after not even a day of this plan being put into action.

For the amount of times Eloise was told to get out of her head, she certainly basked in it too often.

She let a soft moan slip as she felt his fingers slide with ease into her hair at the back of her head, a gentle sting resonating in the back of her skull as he tugged at it without realising. She couldn’t help the excited shudder than rippled through her as one of his hands found her thigh, the smooth touch gliding up the material of her jeans as it found her waist, the nimble fingers of the handsome Australian slipping beneath the oversized sweatshirt, his warm touch meeting her hot skin in an enticing dance. Eloise couldn’t ignore how her heart rattled within the imprisonment of her chest, the feeling reminding her of how a hammer repeatedly bangs against a nail, the force almost painful against her ribcage.

The feeling excited her but also petrified her; an estranged hum in her stomach at the sensation he created. Eloise allowed herself to get lost in the kiss, Calum’s hands only grasping her waist as he lifted her with ease, settling her in his lap, never allowing a moment for their lips to detach as she pressed herself against him. Their fronts connected as Eloise straddled the handsome detective, her mind blurring as for a moment she forgot where she was and why she was doing this in the first place, allowing herself to become lost in the world of Calum, travelling down an unknown path on an uncharted adventure with no way of knowing how she was supposed to go back. And she didn’t entirely mind.

---

Tag List: @steviemae​

[bronanlynch]

I enjoyed doing this last week so this is. a thing now I guess. click through for roundup of whatever media I’ve been into in the past week (will normally be on thursdays I think bc that’s the day I’m usually free but my schedule this week was weird) (inspired by the tuesday again thing that @girlfriendsofthegalaxy does)

listening: the new Mountain Goats album Getting Into Knives is very fun and full of bops, for a given value of both “fun” and “bops” because it’s The Mountain Goats so it does have that edge of depression but quite a few of the songs are a bit more. cheerful? than a lot of their other stuff, for lack of a better word

favorite track is probably The Rat Queen

listening (podcast edition): this very fun episode of Overinvested tearing apart the new movie adaptation of Rebecca which I have not seen and was not planning on seeing but I do enjoy people smartly analyzing why things aren’t good and also I do love discussions about Gothic romance

reading: The Mermaid, the Witch, and the Sea by Maggie Tokuda-Hall is probably a very good book that someone else will enjoy very much, as lots of people whose opinions I generally trust already have enjoyed it. and I possibly will enjoy more if I give it another chance, once I’ve gotten over being disappointed that it wasn’t what I was looking for right now. the premise is neat! the worldbuilding is cool! the characters are interesting! mermaids, witches, and seas are three of my favorite things and also there are pirates, my other fave thing!

the reason I bounced off of it so hard is that I kept seeing it hyped up as a trans/nonbinary book, and then felt kinda let down when I started reading it and realized that the main character whom I’ve seen described as genderqueer is 1) dressing as a guy because someone else suggested it for safety reasons and 2) this was several years before the story starts and this character still refers to herself exclusively (disclaimer that I didn’t read the full thing but. as far as I got and also I skimmed toward the ending) as she and by her feminine birthname. and those things are fine, that’s a valid gender story, nonbinary people can absolutely keep their old pronouns and names and it doesn’t make them any less nonbinary, but the way it was framed in the parts that I read felt to me more like the old classic ‘girl dresses as guy for plot reasons’ thing, which isn’t something I personally wanted to read more of right now, especially not when I went in expecting something that would resonate more with my gender experience

watching: I’ve been rewatching Leverage, since I only ever watched the first season many years ago because that’s what was free on hulu at the time, and the thing that’s really getting to me is how fundamentally hopeful it is. like, yeah, sure, the premise of it is about how capitalism is designed to fuck people over and there is A Lot about specifically health insurance being really really awful. so there are parts of it that are a lil bit too real, but then at the end of the day they always win and punish the rich capitalists and help their victims and it’s just. nice to see that kind of happy ending

the specific episode I’m having lots of thoughts about is the Mile High Job, which is about the team is trying to protect a potential corporate whistleblower from being murdered by her coworker while on an airplane. at first they’re not sure what’s going on because they weren’t expecting two people from the corporation to be on that flight, so they don’t know which person is the one they should be focusing on. one of them is an anxious younger woman and the other is an extremely generic man, and from the moment they decided that the woman was the one they had to protect I was dreading the plot twist of “no actually you just helped her take out her target and you should’ve been protecting the other guy” which would’ve felt just. so mean-spirited and cynical but it’s the kind of thing I expect from media I guess. and then once it was clear that nope, that twist wasn’t going to happen, I expected her to turn around at the end and be like “actually no I’m not gonna testify against the corporation because I’ve realized how dangerous it is.” and I kind of hate that I’ve become so jaded by both media and also the real world that I’m so ready to expect the most cynical option, because I’m not used to stories about how even though the system is corrupt and oppressive and exploitative, people can still help each and they do and sometimes they make things better

playing: got back into playing Dishonored after taking a couple weeks off because I got stuck and frustrated and also kept playing for too long at a time and giving myself headaches. Lady Boyle’s Last Party (which I am going to completely and entirely spoil so if you don’t want that this is your warning) is probably the mission that I have the strongest mixed feelings about. I love the approach to the party, I love the concept of sneaking into a masquerade ball, I love signing the guestbook with your actual legal wanted fugitive name while wearing the mask that you commit all of your crimes in, I love a good fancy party mission I cannot stress that enough it’s the sexiest possible setting

HOWEVER. trying to sneak around upstairs fucking sucks because the ceilings aren’t high enough for there to be places to hide, like convenient hanging lamps or pipes to blink up to. my least favorite room in this entire game is that art gallery because you can get on top of the cases and you think you’re safe because you’re Up but then the guards spot you instantly and sound the alarm and the entire party shuts down and then you let them kill you so that you can go back to your last save

ADDITIONALLY, fuck the nonlethal option for this one. I hate it so much and feel so incredibly gross about choosing it but I also feel extremely not great about tricking her into meeting me alone and then actually assassinating her. the conversation is so uncomfortable that I tried to be like “actually no nevermind” which causes her to think you’re weird and creepy and she has the guards ““throw you out”“ which apparently in Dunwall is just how you say that she’s gonna have the guards murder you. but anyway. she's a shitty rich lady but she doesn't deserve either of the things that could happen to her and she's only a target because she's sleeping w a guy who sucks. she hasn’t done anything! she isn’t actually responsible for what happened to Jessamine or Emily! which works on a narrative level in my opinion because this is the last mission before you go after the lord regent and it’s becoming clear that the loyalists are just using Corvo for their own agenda and don’t actually care about Jessamine. but it’s still unpleasant to be the one enacting it, y’know?

also on a narrative level, I really like the concept of doing a clean hands run except killing each of the actual targets, because I feel like that would be a cool inversion of the trope where the hero kills a bunch of mooks and then refuses to kill the big bad because murder is wrong. on a gameplay level, I’m still gonna do the nonlethal options because I refuse to risk getting the bad ending, and I’m proud of the fact that I haven’t killed anyone since getting out of prison. I do wanna do a high chaos playthrough at some point though just to see how it goes, since I went low chaos last time too

sorry for writing an entire essay about Dishonored but. the funniest thing from that mission is that apparently if you get spotted by one of the maids in the basement where you are not supposed to be (the guards will immediately attack if they see you) instead of raising the alarm she just says “welcome to the party.” love that solidarity.

making: none of my cosplay stuff is at an especially picture-worthy stage and I didn’t get pictures of the pesto I made for dinner last night so there’s not gonna be much that’s interesting here but I did go to Spirit Halloween after Halloween when everything was on clearance and got a bunch of stuff that I’m gonna use for cosplay eventually

writing: soon I will finish the Eddis/Attolia Queen’s Thief fic that’s been rattling around in my brain ever since I finished the last book. hopefully.

[agentunwin]

MACARONI & GLUE [Teacher!Shawn x Teacher!Reader]

In which Mr.Mendes’ kindergartners come up with a master plan to set him and Ms.Y/L/N up. 

[Gif by @mendes-shawn!]

— A/N: this is barely edited sorry but i got this idea from a general teacher x teacher prompt post i saw a few days ago, i thought it was cute so i wrote it. also if you know who made the gif let me know so i can credit!

— WORDS: 1.8k

— WARNINGS: n/a

-

Shawn shuffled behind the wall as he eyed the woman just down the hall. Her legs looked great in her beige skirt as she bent down to give each of her first graders high fives as they walked into the classroom. Her smile was bright and her love for her students radiated throughout the entire school, brightening everyone’s day. Brightening his day.

When all of her students reentered the classroom she stood to dust off her outfit and was about to follow behind them, but something caught her eye. A mysterious S-shaped curl peeked out from the wall just a few feet away. She chuckled to herself and shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Good morning, Mr.Mendes.” Y/N called out, knocking him off his balance a little. He presumed he was being sneaky but that obviously wasn’t the case, and now embarrassed wasn’t nearly a good enough word to describe how he felt in this moment.

He pocketed his hands and stepped out from behind the wall, a bashful smile on his lips to match hers. The blush on his cheeks was impossible to miss and he swayed back and forth on his toes as he replied, “Good morning to you too, Ms.Y/L/N.”

She considered teasing him a bit more but decided against it when one of Shawn’s own students came up to tug on the side of his tucked-in button up shirt. Shawn looked down at the brunette boy who was staring right back at him with expectant eyes considering he hadn’t come back to the classroom in all but a minute.

Shawn pointed towards his door and began to back away, insisting, “I should probably get back to my own class now, eh?”

Y/N shut her eyes and grinned, “Yeah, I think that’d be a good idea.”

By the time she’d finished her sentence the little boy had pulled him completely behind the wall but she didn’t fail to hear his “See you at lunch!” before his door was slammed shut. She rolled her eyes and laughed before ducking into her own classroom.

Shawn tortured himself over that moment for the rest of that morning. His kindergartners were clever enough to realize something was wrong with him when they noticed him staring down at his demo macaroni art project, his face stoic. While the classroom buzzed with life around him, he remained sitting at the too-tiny table with a few of his other students, cheeks still blazing.

And the brunette boy from earlier, Liam, knew exactly why.

“I think teacher has a crush on miss Y/L/N.” He said to his friend nonchalantly, hands messy as he attempted to expertly place a piece of macaroni onto his masterpiece. 

His friend Jamia perked up at his claim, her eyes going wide and ginger curls bouncing. “How do you know?”

Liam shrugged, tipping his Elmer’s glue bottle and letting out a lot more than intended. “He acts weird around her!”

Jamia smiled and swooned, holding her hands to her heart. “Are they together?”

Liam only shook his head, peacefully continuing to add onto his art. It wasn’t until a few minutes later when Shawn stood that he came up with an idea. The little boy ordered Jamia to get him some construction paper and stickers, the girl excitedly coming back with the “secret supplies” a minute later. 

He explained the plan to his friend and they both got to work, Liam leading the plan. His tongue stuck out from his lips as he tried to keep his hands steady, writing out a few words to the best of his ability. He tried to sound out the words which helped him a little, and when they were done, the two folded the letter and placed a Thomas the Tank Engine sticker over it. Jamia added the final touch by gluing a random piece of macaroni to make it look more presentable.

Just in the nick of time, as well. Shawn walked around the class to check that everyone was doing their work correctly and when he got to the two’s table, excitement was written all over their faces. He should’ve known then and there that something was suspicious, his eyes flickering down to the sealed letter. However, he thought nothing of it, walking back to his desk.

Y/N wiped her hands, sighing to herself as she looked over her empty classroom. Everyone had been dismissed to recess and it was rare that she experienced silence like this, so every time she did, she made sure to take advantage of it. 

Leaning back in her seat, she rubbed over her eyes. She loved her students to death but jeez, did they wear her out. Her silence was broken when she heard some kind of rustling, making her begrudgingly open her eyes. She did so just in time to notice a tiny finger pushing a pink folded piece of cardboard underneath the crack of her door.

This brought a small smile to her lips and she stood from her squeaky seat, short heels clicking against the marble flooring. She bent down to grab the paper with the Thomas the Tank Engine sticker, her manicured fingers carefully opening it. 

DeEr Miss Y/L/N

Yu are s o beeOtEfull and s mart. I lov yu.

Frum, mister MendeZ

An uncontainable laugh ripped past her lips as she read over the letter that was so obviously written by one of Mr.Mendes’ kindergartners. The spelling gave that away immediately. 

She couldn’t deny how sweet it was, though. 

A knock on her door caused her head to whip back up, meeting the eyes of none other than Mr.Mendes himself through the window of the door. He wore his signature good-guy smile that only got wider once he noticed that he’d startled Y/N the slightest bit, the woman holding a hand to her heart. 

She quickly folded the letter back up and went to swing the door open, allowing Shawn to walk into her classroom. He took the liberty of shutting it behind himself and admired the view as she walked back to her desk, plopping down in her chair again. 

“Long day, huh?” Shawn asked, walking over and pulling a chair up to the other side of her desk. He then set down his plastic baggie and began unpacking his glass lunch containers. 

“You have no idea.” Y/N sighed, biting her lip and watching his perfect hands unpack his lunch. Her stomach growling was what jolted her from her trance and made her remember one of her frustrations. “I forgot my lunch at home and the tiny bag of Cheetos I had isn’t really helping me either.”

Shawn jumped into action at her words and he pushed one of his dishes her way, insisting that she take it. “It’s only two tacos, but it’s better than a bag of Cheetos.”

Y/N frowned and looked down at the food, “Are you sure? I could totally just get more chips.”

“I’m sure.” Shawn reinforced, his heart racing at her reluctant, kind attitude. He brought his leftover restaurant chips and salsa out and set them down on her desk, the two beginning to eat in silence.

He would sometimes catch a glimpse of her when she wasn’t looking, admiring how she tried to eat politely in front of him while still unknowingly having a piece of beef on the corner of her lip. This made him chuckle and her gaze shifted back to him, confusion written over her face.

“What’s funny?”

“Nothing.” Shawn quickly shook his head, sporting a playful grin which she reciprocated.

The two’s relationship was very strange. It was a constant push and pull, an almost there but never really. He’d made it very clear from the first week of school that he thought she was amazing and she reciprocated those feelings, but no matter how the conversation went, it always ended with a “We’re co-workers, we can’t”.

Obviously, that never stopped Shawn from trying.

“What’s this?” Shawn cocked his head, recognizing the Thomas the Tank Engine stickered letter from his own classroom. 

Y/N licked her fingers and laughed, nodding towards the paper. “Why don’t you see for yourself?”

Shawn pursed his lips at her semi-scary words but reached to grab the paper anyways, opening it and quickly reading over the broken English. Y/N watched with a smirk once he set the letter down, trying to stifle his grin as he rubbed his temples.

“Anything you’d like to say for yourself?” She teased, leaning a little bit closer to him.

Shawn chuckled and shook his head. “Kids and their wild imaginations, right? But maybe it’s not wild. I heard kids are good at sensing things, ya’know? Like ghosts and stuff.”

Y/N gave him a puzzled look and Shawn realized what he’d just rambled about was strange so in an attempt to redeem himself, he clarified.

“B-But maybe instead of ghosts, it’s love. They can sense love. Maybe.”

Y/N laughed at his desperate attempt to regain his composure and explain himself but it was fruitless and Shawn realized this too, laughing along with her. This fit went on for about 30 seconds before she was wiping her eyes and leaning back in her seat, tapping on her desk with her nails.

Her rhythmic pace made him nervous as he leaned back as well, awaiting her next words. It was obvious that she wanted to say something but something was holding her back, and Shawn knew exactly what it was.

“Y/N.” Shawn whispered, not willing breaking their eye contact for a mere second. “Say it.”

She bit her lip and took a deep breath, scared to let the words leave her mouth. They’d been beating around the bush for so long and this isn’t the only time he’s offered her his lunch at all (She was a forgetful person) but today felt different and they both felt it. Everyone around them knew it- Even five year old kids, it seemed. It was time to stop the games.

“Maybe it is love.” Y/N nodded, the corners of her mouth lifting ever so slightly. “I guess we’ll have to find out over dinner and a huge glass of wine, huh?”

Shawn’s eyes widened as she finally allowed him in- gave him a chance at the one thing he’d been yearning after for so long. “A-Are you serious?” He stuttered out, his smile that of an excited child’s.

“Yes, I’m serious.” She confirmed happily, beginning to help him pack up his lunch. “I think I’m finally ready to put myself out there again.. And to be frank, I really like you.”

“Well duh. Who doesn’t like me? I’m tall, handsome, and incredibly smart.” Shawn rolled his eyes just as the bell rung, signifying the second half of their school day. When she scoffed he continued, “So, uh, I’ll pick you up at seven?”

Y/N smiled widely and nodded, shooing the man out of her class just as kids began to pour back in.

“Sounds amazing. Now get to class, Mendes.”

[maikatc]

Black Sun Tale | Bread and Water

Remember that this is only a first draft with minor edits, but have fun reading! Comments and reception is greatly appreciated! --- “What I came up with today? Uh…,” Flipped some pages, “I came up with two new characters earlier?”

The city streets screeched with traffic noise and crowds chattering, smoke surrounding the air with a bar across the avenue. 

“Gabriel’s story’s kinda sad. He killed this guy named Wren, but they were like brothers.”

Off between two aged buildings, an alleyway poked out with barely any notice.

“He hates Zero- or Hiro now though. He’s the reason why Wren went crazy.”

The interior of the alley carried a scattered mess of blankets, journals, calendars, along with other miscellaneous things. Though a single journal stuck to being held, firm by the grasps of a boy. 

His sickly pale skin complemented his unkempt and grimy black hair. While his twig body shivered by the gentle cold. His boney fingers pointed at drawings from his one of many journals towards the girl next to him. “That’s Gabe when he got mad at Dannie after finding out.” His voice rasped. 

Observing the girl’s reaction, her expression perked to something of confusion. “How did Wren and Gabe get to that situation though?”

He rolled his eyes to the side. “I haven’t gotten that much into the backstory. But all I know is that they both got into a mess like Evie or Lucia.” Blinked twice. “It’s just that while Evie was mad at becoming a slave, Gabriel was mad because his entire life’s purpose was taken away from him… and he’s in denial about it being kinda his fault too.”

Her cocoa hair blocked the faces she made from the boy’s slouched position on the ground. However, she chirped up quickly enough. “Ayu, I’m really digging Gabriel right now.”

“Really,” Ayu questioned, sitting back up a little the process. “I thought he was kinda basic.”

“Yeah,” she turned her floor seat towards him, revealing her fair complexion made out of light makeup. “From what you told me so far. I’m guessing he’s being ignorant of his past mistakes completely and letting out all his anger to someone else, right? At least from what I can tell in this picture.”

“I guess so?”

“Okay, I didn’t screw up on reading the comic panel,” making a small clap with her hands. “That can be realistic if you do it right, but you can also mix in a theme with that-”

“Annette. No,” Ayu interrupted her. “When you talk about ‘theme’ and that stuff, I get more of a headache than every other minute of life,” he groaned. 

“Do you want me to get you some ibuprofens?”

“I’m fine.”

Annette nodded. “Well other than that, I still feel bad for Hiro,” she pouted. 

Ayu lifted a brow and eyed her. “He’s the one who trapped ten kids in a death maze.”

“But he’s trying to get better!”

He scoffed, “He still did bad things, that’s why Evie treated him like shit afterwards.”

“You’re the one giving him a redemption arc though?”

“I’m just trying to stay close to the original idea.” Ayu closed the book and chuck it to the side. “Even if I don’t really believe in it.”

Annette’s lips twitched. “He’s just trying to be a better person than before…”

“He was still a dick. Out of anything, you should be feeling bad for Wren.”

“How so?”

Ayu set his arms back. “He was lied to for most of his life and he only got killed in the end for having a different opinion, pretty much.”

“So, he’s pretty much a pity party?” Annette eyed him. Ayu already knew what she was telling with her expression. 

“No. He just go fucked over too much because of both Gabriel and Zero.” 

Annette rolled a shoulder, pulling back her hair in the process. “I guess I like all of them, anyways. I’m just still hoping you can pull it off well.” Her lashes fluttered in the dim lights. “Did you come up with Gabriel and Wren from your dreams again?”

Ayu hummed. “Kinda. I had a random dream last night where a guy shoots another guy with an arrow but gets sad about it. That’s how I got Wren’s death.”

“Anything else from it?”

“There was a bit more, but it’s blurry.”

“Any others dream while I haven’t been here,” She asked. 

Ayu blinked. “I just have that, some girl screwing herself over and getting her friend dead, then nothing.” 

Annette hesitated with her words. “No dreams of Lillie?”

Ayu paused, seeing Annette flinch from her own question. He buried his hands in his hoodie pockets and looked down. “… None of those.”

She apologized with her eyes narrowed. The area went silent for the two. A minute? Two? Ayu couldn’t tell. He could barely count with patience. 

“How long have you been here?”

“Huh? About an hour, I think…” She brought her phone to her view, checking the time. “God, we spent a lot of time goofing off.”

“You have homework, don’t you? You should go home, school’s tomorrow anyways.” 

“… Right.” Annette stood up, her tall figure looming before Ayu. A second of standing still, she face-palmed herself. “Oh god, I have three projects to do.”

“Then get on to it,” Ayu joked. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Annette grabbed back her already cleaned up board game and binder. “I’ll see you another time then.”

Before taking a turn back home, a “Bye” could be heard quietly over a car honking. 

Ayu studied the outside of the alleyway in silence. Every second brought a new face passing by, and it brought the reminder that no one noticed him staring. A child, a couple, a group of teens, they all went their own ways, not even taking a glance of something that’s nonexistent for them. 

The boy groaned, turning back and plopping his head to a pillow, gifted by Annette. As he slammed his body to the ground, the rough concrete hit him back. He winced like every other day when he fell over from exhaustion. Though, the routine of his ‘home’ was redundant. 

He muttered in his own silence, “Ow.”

At least he had a pillow unlike the first two years of four when living in the alleyway. 

Laying down, still and blank, Ayu sighed and grabbed his journal from the side again. He flipped through the thin paper, skimming past the art he made, and stopped at the next blank page. He crawled to grab the pencil he left on the other side of the alley earlier in the day, and crawled back to his pillow to write:

October 21st 201X

Came up with new caracters today, dont know what to do

Did noting else today, like usuel

I got a litle mad at Annette, probly was a bad idea

No monsters, No Akeldama

As Ayu moved his arms to store the book away, a voice halted him. 

“Looks like you’ll be having an insipid time again.”

Ayu jumped, sitting immediately and twisting his head around. Finding nothing, he sighed, “Speak of the Devil…” He then crossed out the note of ‘No Akeldama’ for the day. 

“Did you miss me from last time?”

Ayu leaned back to the rigid wall, conversing with the voice ringing across his head. “Just tell me what the hell is going on,” he groaned. 

“Oh child, you won’t be getting that anytime soon for sure,” The voice mocked him. 

“You’ve been telling that to me for how long?”

“I don’t know in all honestly, I’ve lost track of time after my first hundred years.”

Ayu leered at nothing. “Four years, Akeldama. Four years.”

“Ah right, you’re twelve now, correct?”

“Yeah. Turned twelve last June.” 

“Well, aside from that, have you met any new people?”

Ayu sighed. “I haven’t, luckily.”

“What a pity,” Akeldama sneered, “You were the kid that pouted about being lonely, yet once you get a friend, you don’t even want another one anymore.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re just a greedy brat.”

“What do you want now Akeldama?” Ayu’s mind raced quickly, his heart beating rapidly. 

“I was simply here to check if you were the same as before, which you are by the way,” he muttered. “Though I’m also here for something else on the matter of you.”

“Dear god, what now?” 

“Funny calling me ‘god’,” he chuckled, “but I think you’ll soon meet somebody you’ll get along with.”

“Wait…,” Ayu murmured. His eyes widened. “Akeldama don’t tell me-”

“You’ll be having fun for the next few months. I promise,” he reassured him. 

“You fucker,” Ayu yelled, slamming his fists onto the hard ground. Though, he brought both of them up immediately from the pain, gasping at the impact of the floor cracking. He held both tightly against one another as they both burned. 

“God, damn it Akeldama…”

No reply.

Ayu placed his head down into his knees and closed his eyes. His boney joints pressed against his forehead. Two deep breaths, then hold. 

He pulled his head back after seconds, groaning, “Why did I decide to go through with this…?”

Ayu’s eyes flutter back open as his stomach made a painful growl. 

“Right…” He clicked against his chapped lips. “When was the last time I ate?” 

The growl reminded him of the stomach pain from recent days, aching as he puckered. The pain bothered him, but Annette already left to his dismay. 

“I need to get food now then,” he muttered to himself. 

He hopped up from his sitting position, his bone-thin legs freezing up from the cold. Exiting the alleyway, Ayu turned to the grocery store route. 

He pulled up his hoodie quickly, his tired eyes being protected from the soft light. And he ventured out to treat himself to food and water rations.

*

A jug of water and a bag of bread, Ayu repeated to himself multiple times. 

The shop held multiple items to Ayu’s attention. Aisles carried shiny toys, colorful pencils and journals, to junk food and candy. Ayu stared at the chips bar, slurping up the slight drool dripping out of him. He shook his head. Bread and water. Bread and water. 

How long had it been for the boy to have a nice meal? When was the last time he had the sweets he loved?

Bread and water. 

When was his last chip binge? His coloring book sessions and playtime?

Stop being a bitch and get what you need already. He scolded in his head. 

He dashed to an unfamiliar aisle so his mind wouldn’t get dragged elsewhere. Stacks and piles of paper towels and toilet paper surrounded him through his short walk to the bakery. His head bobbed in a sigh that he didn’t need anything of such thanks to shop bathrooms and recreation center showers.

However, as soon as he exited the aisle, aromas of pastries and baked goods filled his senses. He ignored it since the shop’s goods were usually too sweet for him despite his tooth. Walking down, he read through the brands of bread, squinted his eyes to spell and read out some words himself. It was only until his found a decent bag of bread rolls did he go off to the drinks section. 

The sodas and fizzy pops caught eyes of most, though Ayu’s tongue had more of a distaste for it. He turned from the bright and dazzling colors to the row of water jugs. His memory of measurements buzzed in his mind, though not enough to remember how much a liter was compared to a gallon. 

After staring, his mind boggling on which was which, Ayu gave up and choose which one seemed like the largest. 

Ayu ended up carrying the bread rolls in one hand and the three-gallon jug of water with the other by his stick arms. He walked out of the aisle, closing in on the exit. 

He stepped with hesitant feet. His head twisted and turned to assure nobody near him. A single bump from someone else and he could be done for the day. 

He swept through the cashiers. His scattered gaze wandered through all of them left and right. But in a single heartbeat, his body already went passed them unlike his mind. 

Ayu sighed and took a step towards the store exit. His guilt cultivated him like every other time he’s done this. It’s better for me. Even if I don’t actually need it-

A grip of a hand pulled him back from leaving. Ayu’s heart froze as his breath started to stutter immediately. He turned slowly, and echo of a voice ringing loudly to him. I’m fucked. 

“Hey…” He saw the face of the one who grabbed him by the arm. He was around the same age as him, younger maybe, but shorter for sure. “Hey…” His light brown skin shined by the store’s lights along with the freckles dotted around his nose and cheeks. While his soft green eyes glared at him in confusion. His dark red hair was also a first for Ayu to see-

“Hey!” the kid repeated himself. Ayu blinked spastically, his breathing still frigid. “What are you doing with that?”

---

Ten Dollars | Next>>>

[fayewonglibrary]

Melting of the Ice Queen (2000)

Once the music world’s Ice Queen, Faye Wong warms up to motherhood and new love as Rebecca Li uncovers.

AS Faye Wong walks into the photo studio at Chai Wan, Hong Kong, casually dressed in baby-blue pants and pink No Name sneakers that look like a cross between sports shoes and ballet slippers, she looks relaxed and girlish.

The colours of her outfit suggest that her life is absolutely bright and sunny.  Even without makeup, her eyes obscured by aviator shades, she still looks completely stunning.

Well-known for her nonchalance to the media and her chameleon-like image changes, Asia’s most charismatically enigmatic chanteuse seems to have mellowed.  Does it have anything to do with the birth of her daughter Jingtong in February 1997?

“The greatest change in me came not after the birth of my child, but after I converted to Buddhism in 1992,” says the 31-year-old.  “I used to ask myself questions like ‘Why is it so?’ But not everything in the world can be explained.  If it is so, it is so; there is no why.  If it is fated, then it is so!  You can only learn to accept your fate.  A simple principle, but easier said than done.”

LIFE GOES ON

With her divorce from Taiwanese rocker Dou Wei out of the way, Faye seems to have moved on.  The big news now is that she is dating a younger man, and not just any younger man too, but Hong Kong heartthrob Nicholas Tse, who’s all of 19.

The source of the rumor?  The pair was snapped by paparazzi earlier this year, kissing at a party in Hong Kong club Greenspot…during a drinking game.  And to add fuel to the fire, they have also been spotted having intimate dinners together on several occasions.

Gossip aside, it’s amazing how the public just cannot get enough of this long-limbed, 1.72 metre-tall Beijing-born beauty, who first set foot in Hong Kong in 1987 at the age of 18.

Back then, the artiste formerly known as Shirley Wong Ching Man didn’t even speak a word of Cantonese, and out of boredom, she enrolled herself in singing classes that helped her develop that ethereal voice that she is now so famous for.

After spending a couple of years in New York studying music, she returned to Hong Kong in 1992, changed her name to Faye, and released an album entitled COMING HOME.  The rest, as they say, is history.  In 1993, she was voted “Most Popular Asian Singer” and over the years, her star has just kept rising higher.

Within a short span of time, Faye has attained the kind of pop icon status that took her favorite singer Teresa Teng an entire lifetime to achieve.

Fans from as far as France devote entire websites to her.  Film critics in Sweden gave her the “Best Actress” award for her role in CHUNGKING EXPRESS.  Sony Playstation felt she was appealing enough to the youth market to pay her US$1 million to sing the ending theme song for their popular video game Final Fantasy 8.

If you’d holidayed in China last year and felt a thirst for Pepsi, you would have seen her gorgeous face emblazoned all over the can (that is, before the limited edition ran out).

A Japanese cellphone company used her for their commercial, but that perhaps is not even half as flattering as the fact that a Taiwanese artiste, Kung Mei Mei, released a debut album entitled I LOVE FAYE WONG.

QUEEN OF MODESTY

Faye has proven herself as one of the very few singers who have made a successful crossover into acting, with CHUNGKING EXPRESS, LOVE AFFAIR IN OKINAWA (which hit Singapore screens on 9 August) and the yet-to-be-completed 2046.  But she still remains unimpressed by her own thespian talents.

“Actually I don’t have much acting to do in LOVE AFFAIR IN OKINAWA… and it is nothing as crazy as the character in CHUNGKING EXPRESS.  It is much more normal and easy-going.”

And contrary to what others say, the movie has not been tailormade for her, she clarifies.  “Maybe they just know this is how I am, I simply can’t act.  Maybe it is because it is a different director (Peter Chan).  I have only worked with Wong Kar Wai before.  I’m more familiar with what he wants… I’m afraid of the demands from other directors, that I may not be able to meet their requirements…”

Faye says that she does not like acting because it involves teamwork and requires a lot of patience.

“For me, when you are making a movie, you have to wait.  It takes a lot of time, and it can be boring.  When you sing, you just need to go to the studio.  I would know if I have not sung a line well, so I can ask to do it again.  When it comes to acting, I wouldn’t know which way is better.  When the director says it is okay, then it’s okay for me, I wouldn’t have any opinion of my own.

"I have also sought advice from many actors, like Carina Lau, for example, who never went through formal training either.  She said, it will be fine, just keep doing it, it will come with experience!  Maybe that’s true, I’ve only made three movies, which is not much of an experience.”

While most actors eagerly dissect every film they can get their hands on, Faye says she is not even a movie buff to begin with.  “I don’t like to watch martial arts movies, war movies, period movies,” she says, without pausing for breath.  “I do watch comedies, but if it is blatantly slapstick, I will definitely not watch it.”

And contrary to how so-called “serious” actors try to get into their roles by trying to get under the skin of the character they’re taking on, Faye prefers not to get in too deep.

“When you are doing a Wong Kar Wai movie, you can never be quite in it, because you won’t even know what the story is all about.  When I was filming CHUNGKING EXPRESS, I really didn’t know what I was doing.  You have to read the script a few times to understand what he’s trying to say.  As I was playing the role, I was feeling that this girl is so irritating and inexplicable.  Haha…"  Self-mockery has always been a virtue of survivors.

LOVE ACCORDING TO FAYE

Now that she has reclaimed her "single” status, perhaps Faye will reveal the kind of man that attracts her?

But this line of questioning doesn’t get much information out of her – Faye would rather speak in generalities, and not about any specific person.  Nicholas Tse’s name is not mentioned throughout the interview.

Sexiness, Faye says, is a matter of personality, a kind of feel.  For her, there are no criteria to speak of.

“I have always been one to follow my intuition.  When it feels right, then it’s right.  The most important thing for a man is to be upright, frank, not to make me do any second-guessing, not to say one thing and do another thing.  Whether he is sexy or not is secondary.  There is not particular look that I go for.  Except that I don’t like guys that talk to much.”

Still, despite her ice queen persona, there’s still a hint that the man who manages to make her thaw will find a hopeless romantic underneath.

“I feel that everything is fated.  When a person is in love, it is like having a magic spell cast on you, you just can’t wriggle out of it, and you can’t be so level-headed as to examine yourself objectively.  Some would calculate various factors while choosing a marriage partner and decide according to one’s requirements.  But I’m definitely not someone like that.”

Translated by Ts’ Ming.

FAYE ON HER LEADING MEN

Tony Leung Chiu Wai - “I have worked with him the most number of times but never really talked to him.  I don’t understand him too well.  He doesn’t talk much, but sometimes he would behave like … he would be very affectionate, it’s rather odd.  I guess he is harder to fathom.”

Leslie Cheung - “He is a buddy.  He is someone who makes clear distinctions between what he loves and what he hates.  He would explain why he likes something and why he doesn’t like something … a headstrong type of person.”

Tony Leung Kar Fai - “He is a very agreeable character, he would share his private matters with others, things like where his family has gone traveling, what they have encountered, how his daughter is doing … I think he would make a perfect husband, very nice, caring, and attentive.”

Takuya Kimura - “Kimura is a very smart person.  But sometimes he’s very playful too.  He’s actually a very professional actor.”

UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL

On hobbies - “Shopping for clothes is no longer my hobby, I only shop for 'working clothes’, so that doesn’t count.  Recently, I haven’t’ had any hobbies.  Apart from work, I just lie around at home, or meet up with some friends.  I have not played mahjong for a long time."  (Right, who has time for mahjong when one is too busy dating?)

On music - "Thinking back on my first record, it was released without much thought, and it was not very me.  I tend to be more carefree while recording in the studio, other than that I behave very awkwardly.  I’m not one who needs to listen to music everyday.”

On pursuits - “I’m not very worried about what to eat, or what to wear, just as long as I have a place to live comfortably.  Actually I’m usually not so concerned about my appearance.  I think the only thing I care for is my records, choosing my songs, recording a good album.  Although there are some works that I’m satisfied with, I still hope to do more.”

On happiness - “A lot of times, that’s just a state of mind.  As long as you know how to let go, you will be much happier.”

On her daughter - “I never planned to have children.  I’m not a patient person but I tend to be nicer to children.  Fortunately, Jing Tong is not naughty at all.  I will not interfere with her future, my responsibility is just to raise her.  Whichever path she takes from then on would be her own, that’s beyond my control.”

MAKING OF A COVER GIRL

Faye Wong has a habit of browsing through magazines while making up.  She would rather stay a while longer than to rush an interview while making up and doing her hair.  Such insistence is rare among entertainers, but how else to share your thoughts with so many people around to interrupt?

So this reporter had to watch her making up, doing her hair, trying her dress and taking the polaroids for a full five hours.  But that helped her to warm up and made it easier to strike up a conversation.

As expected, her daughter Jing Tong turned up at 5:30 pm sharp, insisted on a hug and kiss, and on being Faye’s personal dresser – she followed Mum into the changing room.  Faye looked completely transformed as she emerged, and her daughter started to mimic her, much to everyone’s amusement.

During the interview, the cute little girl interrupted three or four times, but she also knew when to back off after every act, without being told off.

As the interview drew to a close, Jing Tong grew more and more impatient.  She shouted with all her might:  “Mum, Mum, let’s go home!"  It sounded like a little wish that was too long suppressed.

------------------------------------------------------------------

SOURCE: ELLE

[stretchearsnotvaginas]

Way back in 2013, when my husband and I first got together, he introduced me to Fight Club, which led to an almost immediate obsession with the man behind it: Charles (Chuck) Michael Palahniuk. As someone who’s obsessed with psychological movies with crazy twists, it was only natural that I wanted to find out more about the author. So, I looked a little more into him and bought my first novel: Diary – which follows a young artist who “finds herself in pawn in a larger conspiracy that threatens to cost hundreds of lives.” Needless to say, the book itself was enough to follow through with my research on him, which all started with:

Where does he get his ideas? What genre is he writing for?

So, after finding the answers to these, Chuck quickly became a staple in my life. I started researching everything about him and it wasn’t long before I learned that the man behind all of the novels was actually a pretty great guy. For his novels, he gets his ideas from actual people and situations in his life. Then, he actually gives credit where credit is due and acknowledges where he got his information from. Luckily, all of his ideas fall under the transgressive fiction genre because they’re not for the faint of heart.

Including Chuck, there are only 6 other authors in the entire genre, and Chuck quickly made his way into the same genre as his idol Bret Easton Ellis. Now, the primary idea behind transgressive fiction is to break societal norms and push against them. The narrators aren’t usual people, they don’t have filters, and Chuck creates plots that are twisted enough that you want to keep going. Well, with the introduction of Fight Club 2 (his first graphic novel), the group that religiously followed him quickly became known as “Chuckleheads,” and I’m honored to be a part of them.

To refrain from sounding a like a creep, meeting him became one of my bucket list goals. After diving into the world of Chuck, I decided that I had to meet the man behind the mass amounts of transgressive fiction on my shelves. So, after building up quite a collection of his books (22/25), following his web-page, and finding an event going on in Denver on Facebook, my husband and I finally got to meet him.

On February 16, 2019, my husband and I decided that meeting Chuck would make the perfect Valentine’s Day date. Over the past six years, we’d usually just go out to eat, or maybe make a day of it, but this year, we got to meet our idol. Chuck is not only a staple in my life, but he’s also a staple in my husbands. So, we woke up earlier than usual and went to I Want More Comics in Thornton, CO. They were celebrating their 10-year anniversary by having Chuck and other artists in their store. Which, I’m not entirely sure how they managed to get him there, but I’m extremely glad they did.

Now, Thornton is anywhere from an hour to two hours away from where we reside depending on traffic, so we couldn’t have gotten there right when it started with my husband being on night-shift, so we arrived a little later. Luckily, they had a system going. When you walked in, you got a ticket stub with numbers on it and they called 10 people to stand in line at a time. So, by arriving a little late, we managed to get a measly two-three hour wait time. Although, I guess it’s only measly depending on the event you’ve signed up for. Needless to say, those two-three hours were filled with anxiety, and we managed to go eat lunch and buy stuff for my reading nook from a nearby Target.

  After the wait was over, we nervously got in line to meet him. Obviously, in my excitement, I had to document almost every step with photos:

While in line, I thought about all the things I wanted to say to him. How he’s become such a huge inspiration to me, how I dedicated an entire blog to his works, and how I was a writer as well, but when I finally got up to him, I was star-struck. So star-struck that I could barely speak. We got up to him, shook his hand, introduced ourselves, and he signed quite a bit. There was so much going through my head that I just didn’t know what to say to him. Everything that I rehearsed in my head ended up completely disappearing. THE Chuck Palahniuk was standing in front of me, and I actually shook his hand.

Luckily, I brought something to give to him  – my digital drawing of an Archerized Chuck.

With the drawing, also came his birthday the following week. So, I asked him, “Isn’t your birthday next week?” like a total creep and finally gave him the drawing. It was pretty cool because he said he’d set it in his office, where all his other fan-art is, but what was cooler was how casual he was about me knowing his birthday. All he said was, “ya know what, it sure is” and took the drawing. If a year ago, anyone told that my drawing would end up in the hands of Chuck himself, I would’ve said they were crazy, so the very idea that it actually ended up with him is pretty amazing.

During the whole debacle of my mind going completely blank, he signed a few books, my laptop cover, and gave us two of his infamous severed arms (pictured below).

Then, after the long wait, the signings, and the awkward discussion, we got to take photos with him. Now, when you take photos with Chuck, they’re not the usual “stand here, say cheese” kind of photos. Chuck makes the whole thing an experience and he poses you in a very particular way. Well, for my photo (that was at the beginning of this), I chose the choke pose, where he was supposed to “choke” me in a photo. However, with Chuck being as ripped as he is, instead of pretending to choke me, he accidentally cut off my airway a little. So, I literally got choked by Chuck. For my husbands stance, he chose the fighter pose, where they pretended to fight. Chuck posed him to a point where his feet were aligned in the specific way he wanted, and he had my husband flex and look at the camera.

After we left I Want More Comics and Chuck, I was still reeling. I couldn’t shut up the entire way home and I immediately edited and posted all of the photos, told all of my friends about it, and frankly I still can’t believe it happened. Now, I’m not sure what else happened that day, but I’m pretty sure we ended the night with Red Robin burgers and ended up back home playing video games. Needless to say, this was the best Valentine’s Day we’ve ever had, and my new goal is to meet him again so I can actually pick his brain like I wanted to initially. To me, Chuck is an enigma. His works are mind-bending, full of twists, and 100% totally original, one can only hope that one day I can finally sit down with him over a cup of coffee after I publish my own novel.

    Getting to meet Chuck was one of the best days of my life next to meeting Dance Gavin Dance (read about that here), and it wouldn’t have been possible without our big move to Colorado back in 2016. 

Meeting Chuck Palahniuk Way back in 2013, when my husband and I first got together, he introduced me to 

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 11 pt 1: Mokuba Gets Kidnapped (Again)

I miiiight have to split this one in two?

A lot happens this episode, and when I cap things it’s mostly to help summarize what’s going on so these posts won’t be so freakin long but visually--a LOT happens this episode. So...there’s a few caps.

Anyways, I’m still trying to not think too much about what it is that Tristan has turned into. Considering that apparently you can exist here without a body it makes you wonder if their own minds are here at all or if we’re just following some shadow selves but again, it’s--that’s way too deep for Yugioh.

Been joking about the team getting turned into Heartless for a whole season and it actually happened. Sort of. Being turned into a monkey isn’t exactly the same as being turned into Darkness but if Yugi, Bakura, and Marik are any indication, being turned into Darkness on this show just means your hair gets kinda big and sometimes you almost (and often do) kill people.

Tristan’s CGI body is now running around and I’m not sure how that works.

Like if Tristan’s ACTUAL body is being stored somewhere, then the CGI body should have vanished, right? Like, his CGI body got incinerated by lava? Anyway, apparently, his body is absolutely fine, and now it’s being controlled by Nezbitt.

I’m glad he found the Kaibas at their familiar territory. Yes, that’s right, they all met up again, reunited after 10 episodes at their favorite place in the whole world. Guess where? Guess where they are?

It’s like meeting at the Cinnabon at the mall. They just all know where to go.

(read more under the cut)

And then Kaiba just kind of acts like he’s been expecting this for years. I mean...there’s reasons to expect that.

TBH if Tristan nabbed Kaiba in the shoulder with that broomstick, Would Kaiba even be able to feel it with all that padding? He’s got like football gear for shoulder pads up there.

We get no explanation of how Blue Eyes Wife made it to the VR zone. Probably willed itself out of pure love or whatever. But, don’t worry, Seto will have to choose cards from a pool just like everyone else at the end of this episode so uh...that’s about all we’ll see from her. Unless she was also in the pool, but I kinda doubt Noah gave Seto a Blue Eyes.

Just so weird that in the same episode she’s clearly here, but in 10 minutes from now, she’s not.

Anyways, everyone else finally shows up and they don't seem to be confused as to how Tristan is just fine when they just saw him die like...just now. They just left the place Tristan was dead and incinerated by 600000 degrees of lava and they were like “Oh good! We found him immediately! Hallelujah!” as if this isn’t very weird.

And...in a past life, Kaiba was the head of the House of York or...something? Like he was in the War of Roses or something? I forget exactly what y’all were saying Kaiba was up to in a past life in some video game spinoff when he and Yugi were European 500 years ago. Their family bloodline really got around.

ALSO, thing I just realized now I’ve actually read the wikipedia, Kaiba is supposed to have been Christian Rosenkruez in this game, which is amazing. Because, if you thought the Kaiba timeline was effed up before, just you wait, because Christian Rosenkruez was a freakin nut. We’re talking Indiana Jones type of nut. I’m pretty sure the game never brings this up, but Christian Rosenkruez is famous because so many people thought that he was the reincarnation of Lazarus.

LAZARUS.

Sorry, I’m like...kinda cracking up as I’m typing this. For those who don’t know your Christian/Middle Ages art, Lazarus is this guy, seen on the right. He’s always wrapped up like a mummy and with this expression like “woah, Jo, I’m alive!? Nice!” as at least one guy in the foreground plugs their nose because he smells like so freakin bad.

Yeah. So now, canonically, a past self of Seto Kaiba swore that he was once Lazurus. Who is...a real freakin nice guy, actually. Which--and this is my favorite part--this means that Lazarus--a real guy from the Bible--was also soul married to a Blue Eyes White Dragon. Hot damn.

I mean, this is a mess, but aesthetically though--Lazarus was a dead guy right? Like a revived mystical dead guy? Wrapped up like a mummy? In a crypt? If you don’t know too much about Christianity, it kinda fits right in with our whole vibe.

And if art twitter is anything to go by, the original fanart was bible stuff anyway, so anime and Bible stuff are absolutely and always interchangeable.

(Sorry, I was about to derail on another art rant hoo boy, a rant within a rant. You know, I hide a LOT of art discourse in these posts. Spicy times. Thanks for bearing with me, I’ve been holding that one in for a WHILE.)

But this is mostly amazing because, completely unintentionally, that means Seto Kaiba’s bloodline met freakin Jesus, y’all.

In fact, lets go over it, so Kaiba’s bloodline was Egyptian wizards who killed Pharaoh Yami (who ends up being Yugi’s bloodline), kinda forgot they were royalty or magical, went up to Jerusalem for a spell, hung out with Jesus and got helllla Christian, then ended up in Germany, fought Yugi who was British royalty for a hot minute, buried Rosenkrueuz in a very weird and mystical spooky sarcophagus, and then both families forgot they were super special royalty and somehow ended up in Japan where Kaiba got orphaned with no knowledge of any of this and got adopted by a crazy Gozaboro Kaiba who is now trying to kill them all with a VR game.

Anyway, if a past version of himself was in the War of Roses, dueling with actual swords should come naturally to him. Or at least would have come naturally if Tristan wasn’t so good with brooms.

(Bro’s Spicy Headcanon: Tristans wooden stick was originally a sword but they edited it out in development. Sure Wtv.)

And surprisingly, Joey got to do a hit in this version of Yugioh--like actually kicked a guy. On screen. And it was Tristan. Wow. Really thought that would get edited out, and I’m glad they left it in because lol this whole sequence is a mess.

Anyway, Tea gets hella mad at Joey because they don’t want him to kill Tristan although this body was in fact incinerated at the bottom of a lava pool not ten minutes ago, and so she decides to go after Tristan herself? Because she figures that Tristan’s body will not attack her? Maybe because Tristan’s body would be too afraid to attack Tea.

And this is Tea, so she is used to people going ghost, getting cray, and then passing out ten minutes later and being like “Oi, love! I seem to have made quite a fuss, again, innut!”

Please look at the bottom of this cap and admire that Joey kicked Tristan so hard, that his body bent a metal door completely the other way around.

That’s right, the motorcycle license is back, and now it gets to serve a purpose!

Guys, when they revealed that Tristan could drive a motorcycle I did not think that later this ability would be yet another insane way to abduct Mokuba.

Lol what?

Moki just...hanging off the side there. Like...he’s not even strapped in. What is it with the kidnappers in this show having just no idea how to properly hold Mokuba? At least this time he isn’t being suspended from a helicopter but it’s still kind of of a lot?

And there goes Kaiba.

They reunite again for like...2 minutes after like 10 episodes and then bam, Kaiba is signing out immediately.

Unfortunately, there goes the only two people here that know how to drive motorcycles, so the rest of our team is just kinda stuck back here with Tristan in a monkey suit.

Because of perspective issues, Serenity appears to be like 2 feet taller than Yugi Muto, dang.

So I think I mentioned before that one of the reasons I was like “Yeah lets watch this show” is because someone tweeted that Yugioh had motorcycle dueling, and so when this happened I was like OMG they’re actually going to do it somehow, right now on this Sonic Adventure Highway. Finally! A motorcycle duel! I thought that was only in the spinoff I’m not going to watch!

I mean look at him go.

JK no motorcycle dueling in this series. My poor hopes. Dashed.

And he runs right into Kaiba’s coat from last season who is wearing just the thickest old timey Southern accent. Ah, I miss when his coat color was nearly his font color and it all made sense.

Bro pointed out that the best part of this scene is how small the motorcycle was compared to how big this fire is now. Like...they should just be able to walk around the fire at this point, right? Like it’s a highway with multiple lanes? What was even in this motorcycle? Nitro?

Anyway, this post will be very long if I don’t chop it in half, so get ready for next time, when we find out what this guy and his accent’s whole deal is. How many references will he make to grits and warm summer evenings? A lot, right? Like a lot?

Anyways, if you just got here, this is a link to read the recaps from Ep 1 S1

[shinneth]

Gem Ascension Tropes (General: A - B)

Full, Superior Alternative on Google Docs.

So, I’ve been on the fence as to whether or not to publicly share this. In the end, it’s really nothing more than a project of self-indulgence. However, it is 100k+ words of self-indulgence and it does involve a story at least a decent number of my followers have read and liked. I also talk about a lot about Stevidot and all the characters in general for this project. Considering I haven’t written anything since the end of August (and real life interference is finally affecting my ability to reliably produce anything of substance since then), I figured it was only fair to offer something. I do still have the itch to write; I just really don’t feel comfortable doing it if I myself am not in a good state mentally or emotionally.

Why did I make this? Well, I’ve mentioned in the past that my other super-huge, much-more-popular story Travels of the Trifecta! eventually gained enough notoriety to not only make it to the Fanfic Rec list on TV Tropes, but a few readers were even gracious enough to make an actual trope page for the story itself. However, despite great temptations, I never once contributed to the page myself, for fear I’d never get the story done because of how addictive and time-consuming that site is. 

I was naively hoping Gem Ascension (or at least Bottled Up, which is easily my most popular story outside the main GA series) might get the same honors. But back then, I was also new to the fanbase and didn’t realize just how badly Stevidot as a ship was wrongfully considered an immoral ship... and still is. So that’ll probably never happen for real. 

That said, so long as I completed my initial 3-act series for GA, I considered it fair game to play around with tropes that I could associate with it. And I finished that sucker in record time. So, since the early months of Summer, I’ve slowly compiled a list of tropes for my GA continuity - so far for general coverage and character-specifics only. 

They’re similar to my GA Reference Tour posts in that aspect. Like I said, though, the entire document is over 100k in length, so no way is that all going up at once. The general listing is big enough to make me think it won’t fit in one post, either (especially as I continue to waste space rambling here). As the length alone proves, I was right to avoid doing this for Trifecta.

I wouldn’t consider it a complete (or even entirely accurate) listing; the character sections are very lop-sided in terms of content, but that’s a little justified, at least. Anyway, I did make some new art for certain character sections in future posts, so I figured this would at least be a neat way to share them. I’ve linked said tropes and everything. It’s really only worth a read if you’re that interested in getting some more in-depth details to the GAverse that I haven’t really covered here properly yet. But it does technically count as Stevidot content, so there’s the grab.

Beyond the spoiler cut, there are no marked spoilers. I’m not savvy enough to go THAT far with the style... plus, the main series has been complete since early March and it’s now October. Just... if you recently found the story, haven’t finished it, but actually intend to do so, look on at your own risk, I guess. 

Well, let’s see how much I can actually fit in here. And whether or not it’ll format properly. 

Edit: Turns out, only up to the K Tropes. Loooooovely~. Looks like I’m gonna play it safe and cut this after the Bs.

Edit II: As a bonus, I see the links being retained when I edit this post, but they won’t appear on the post itself. Just. Awesome. I may just put this up on Google Docs as an alternative if anyone cares that much about having the hyperlink access. That link is up. I’ll need to neuter these things something fierce so the hyperlinks will appear again.

GEM ASCENSION CONTINUITY TROPES

 GENERAL

 A Day in the Limelight: Act II as a whole functions somewhat like this; Hero Protagonist Peridot, save for the short final scene at the end of the act, is completely absent. She is frequently talked about and is featured in prerecorded Video Wills, but the 8 chapters Act II is comprised of are dedicated to the 8 remaining members of the main cast. Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst, Connie, and Steven – characters who had much less time to feature in Act I due to being captured during the first half – all have chapters entirely dedicated to them. Greg, despite being part of GA from the start, also had limited time to feature in Act I past Chapter 3 due to being a Non-Action Guy. His chapter is one of the longest; Greg is also involved in a subplot with Bismuth and Lapis, and as of Chapter 7, he receives a Rank Up and officially becomes a legit member of the Crystal Gems.

A Fate Worse than Death: Pallification. Not only worse than a gem’s shattering, but even corruption. It’s similar to corruption in that a gem is technically still alive, but their consciousnesses are greatly compromised. While a corrupted gem is more akin to a mutated rabid animal until a cure is found, a pallified gem’s body – while usually maintaining the integrity of its physical form – has been rendered soulless. Once White Diamond supplants their conscious minds with her own, she boots them out to parts unknown (she doesn’t even care enough for her own subjects to figure out what exactly she’s doing to their conscious minds) with no way for them to find their way back to their original body. It’s not even made clear whether or not a gem’s consciousness is killed off outright the moment White infects them. So, a pallified gem is basically condemned to eternal purgatory. Naturally, even after the events of GA, there are still millions of gems afflicted with this condition with no known cure to ail them. With White Diamond herself shattered at this point, these victims are little more than vegetables at best.

A Friend in Need: It must be stressed that the objective from the start of Gem Ascension was not to overthrow the Diamond Authority (and certainly not to destroy Homeworld itself): it was to rescue friends who were in trouble. Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Connie were all imprisoned on Homeworld with no means to truly escape, so Steven resorted to sending an SOS to the Crystal Gems on standby on Earth. After taking charge of this mission, Peridot greatly emphasized their objective being a quick in-and-out after rescuing their friends as quietly as possible. Then the mission escalated with much higher stakes, but the objective remained the same. Act I concluded with all of the Crystal Gems safely escaping Homeworld and returning to Earth… save for Peridot. The follow-up mission, consequently, had the same objective: rescue Peridot, then escape. It was later amended to rescue all of Homeworld’s native gems once it was discovered that Homeworld itself was going to fall apart very soon. The revolution that came about with Homeworld’s destruction and the fall of the Diamonds were merely byproducts of the rescue mission. Only Pearl seemed to anticipate this kind of result, but none of the Crystal Gems were prepared to be responsible for keeping Era 3 going on Earth in Homeworld’s absence (as well as the Diamonds’). 

Acceptable Targets: In-Universe, the lower you are in the caste system on Homeworld, the more you’re expected to take abuse of any kind from any gem of a higher class. This is Who I Am goes further into depth on this topic; it’s revealed Peridots have no rights when it comes to being mistreated by gems above their class. Even worse, it’s illegal for a Peridot to antagonize a gem of a higher caste for any reason – yet it’s perfectly legal for elite gems, such as quartzes, to do whatever they wish to a Peridot so long as it doesn’t permanently damage them or compromise whatever mission they’re assigned together on. Yes, even if a low-caste gem is raped (like Peridot almost was), it’s legal and the victimized gem is fully expected to suck it up and deal with it.

Adaptation Expansion: Not only does the GA series serve as an alternative to Change Your Mind, but it frequently brings up events from past canon episodes. This isn’t done for nostalgia’s sake, but rather to expand on said scenes and observe them with a different lens. Through this, scenes in the show readers have seen multiple times can yield some new discoveries with the additional details and questions posed within the GA narrative.

Adaptational Alternate Ending: Takes place shortly after Escapism in the show. The first few minutes of Change Your Mind are canon to the fic (mainly Blue Diamond’s Heel-Face Turn), but it’s completely off the rails from there on out. So, it’s basically an alternative ending to Season 5.

After-Action Healing Drama: In Chapter 5 of Act I, after Peridot got caught in a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown with 9FC and sustained severe injuries in the previous chapter, the recently-rescued Steven uses Lion to take himself and Peridot somewhere private so he can heal her many injuries.

All For Nothing: The battle with White Diamond in Chapter 6 of Act III is this, as that wasn’t the real White Diamond to begin with. The Crystal Gems just wasted a load of time and energy on a proxy, and it’s the realization of this trope that causes said battle to abruptly turn in White’s favor, ending in a Curb-Stomp Battle with the Crystal Gems on the losing end.

Due to this aspect of the battle, it means Rainbow Quartz 2.0’s scheme to siphon off some of White Diamond’s essence (to later use for a cure for corruption and pallification when they return to Earth, knowing White’s never going to help willfully) was also a waste, and what Pearl and Steven gained was just the essence of a bunch of dead gems. Pearl has a bit of a minor Heroic BSoD in Chapter 7 over this, but Garnet pulls her out of it and encourages her to not give up on the endeavor.

All Up to You: The premise of Gem Ascension: Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, and Greg step up to rescue their A-Team friends against all odds. 

Alternate Continuity: This story takes place shortly after Escapism. Beyond the first few minutes of Change Your Mind, it becomes canon divergent from there.

Anachronic Order: After Gem Ascension’s completion, a set of stories was released throughout the month of May that all took place in Gem Asension’s continuity (save for one, technically, which took place a while before GA starts and has no connections to said continuity outside of being referenced in a few of the other stories) for Stevidot Month. Justified, somewhat, as they were only released out of order due to representing at least one of three prompts assigned for the five weeks of Stevidot Month, and Word of God planned much of this on the fly. A couple of stories were pre-prepared (Plans Change and This is Who I Am’s first chapter), but didn’t fit any prompts other than the ones assigned to the final two weeks. Since May’s conclusion, all stories (in their AO3 incarnations) have been put in a collection and are arranged in chronological order.

Bottled Up is the only story that averts this, as it chronologically occurs before all the others listed here and was also the first one released in May. However, since it does take place a good amount of time before GA’s starting point, it can easily be read as a standalone. The same cannot be said for the stories following it.

My Time is Now, which properly introduces Sphalerite (who only got an unnamed, featureless cameo in Act III and spoke the very last lines of the story), takes place no more than half an hour after Act III’s conclusion, but it was also the last story released in May. 

Second-to-last was Plans Change, which took place only a few hours after the aforementioned story. 

This is Who I Am chronologically falls roughly half a week after that, but its first chapter was released in the middle of the month.

Peri-dise: The Capitalist Anarchy takes place about 1-2 months after GA Act III, making it currently second-to-last in GA’s overall continuity, but was the third story released overall during May’s second week.

It’s a Birthday, Yes It Is takes place in late August, making it the furthest-removed from GA’s timeline by 3-4 months (until the release of Our Tomorrow – a direct sequel to this story taking place exactly one year later, but won’t be listed here as it was made long after Stevidot Month ended). It was the second story released for Stevidot Month. 

Anyone Can Die: The moment White Pearl and Blue Diamond die (relatively close to the same time) by Chapter 6 of Act I makes it apparent no punches will be pulled in this story; especially after it’s made clear how much of a Complete Monster White Diamond is in this continuity. Yellow Diamond falls two chapters later, and at least for a short while it’s presumed Peridot met a similar fate. There’s also the concept of pallification, which renders several hundred gems functionally dead in Act I alone. The majority of the gems left on the planet end up pallified by the time the Crystal Gems return to Homeworld in Act III. By the climax of said act, White Diamond self-destructs. On a smaller scale, almost every original character introduced in GA either dies or is already dead upon introduction. 5XF is the only one so far who averts this.

Astral Projection: An aspect of Steven’s developing powers in Act III. During Chapter 4, an all-pink astral projection of Steven travels into Peridot’s subconscious to find out what White Diamond did to fragment her mind. A bit later in Chapter 8, astral projections of Steven and Peridot are seen superimposed over the corporeal forms of Pink Diamond 2.0 and Chartreuse Diamond to signify both coming to terms with their Alter Egos becoming part of them and becoming whole.

Autodoc: The restoration machines that are abundant and scattered across Homeworld, which the Crystal Gems use to speed up the recovery process for Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl at the end of Chapter 6 of Act I.

Badasses in Distress: All of the imperiled Crystal Gems at the start of the story qualify. After Act I, Peridot takes their place.\

The Big Damn Kiss: Steven gives Peridot a pretty significant one in Act I’s final chapter right in the middle of a large and busy battlefield before they split ways to help their friends. Punctuated with a deliberate Shout-Out to Gem Drill.

Big Damn Reunion: Chapters 6 and 7 of Act I is this, as is Chapter 5 of Act III for the follow-up rescue mission.

Birthday Episode: It’s a Birthday, Yes It Is serves as one for Peridot. It also loosely applies to Steven, as his birthday is less than two weeks before hers and is frequently referenced (the pair’s chronological ages are 14 and 15 respectively by this point). Our Tomorrow is a direct sequel to the aforementioned story taking place exactly a year later, making Peridot 15 and Steven 16.

Bittersweet Ending: GA’s conclusion in a nutshell. The Diamond Authority is no longer a threat to anyone, but Homeworld is destroyed, meaning the Crystal Gems have to directly deal with the fallout of this particular revolution while ensuring Earth’s safety. Now they have thousands, if not millions of gems to help adapt to life on Earth and teach the concept of independence and free thought. Homeworld’s colony planets are doomed to civil disorder and collapse unless the heroes directly help, but that also presents a risk if they don’t play their cards right. Peridot and Steven’s lives are irrevocably shaken in their own right, and they’re the ones who’ll have to be the most involved in helping the Homeworld refugees. And there’s still the matter of curing not only the corrupted gems, but now the pallids as well. While GA ended the best way it possibly could, given the circumstances, there’s still a lot of work ahead for the Crystal Gems… and a lot of it will be unpleasant/awkward at best and outright life-threatening at worst. 

Blank White Void: The nature of the Pocket Dimensions featured in Act III, save for the one Steven is initially imprisoned in at the end of Chapter 3.

[merigreenleaf]

WIP Rambles Thing

It's been forever since I did any tag games, so I'm super excited that @bluemartlet tagged me in this! And @toboldlywrite asked to be tagged, too. I feel like such a weird writer, though, because everything I’ve worked on in the past five years has been the same series. So I guess if you forgot about dorks, here’s dorks! (There’s info about the characters here or here if you’re on mobile.)

1. Colorweaver (rewriting/editing the guh... 4th draft? Parts have been rewritten six times, but some parts only twice, so I guess that averages to a 4th?) Genre: These are all the same comedic contemporary high fantasy series POV: 3rd person close/limited, multiple POV; in the current draft there are 3 (Adair, Blythe, Dray) plus letters/journal entries from Rosalie Blurb: Adair Cerulean is an amateur cartographer with the ability to make his drawings have the semblance of life. Like the other creators who possess magic and channel this through art, Adair is a Weaver. Adair is in the process of working on the project that, once complete, would advance him in rank when he discovers it missing! As its new owner seeks out more Weavers, Adair feels a tug from his creation to follow. This pull leads him to a carnival where he meets a healer standing guard over a stricken performer. It turns out that his thief is more than a mere robber and there’s more at stake than just a stolen map. Will Adair get it back and stop the thief before anyone else is hurt?

2. Sentinel (writing the 3rd draft, but technically there have been 6 versions; the others were detailed outlines. This has been hard to nail down!) POV: Ditto; POVs are Adair, Blythe, Firedrake, and Rosalie who gets normal chapters in this one. Blurb: Adair has recovered his stolen map and acquired a new family who will -- with luck and a lack of imps -- protect him in the future. His elation is short-lived, however. The other artists refuse to accept his choice of sentinel-intended or his desire to help as magic in the capital city begins to go awry. When an enemy thought to be defeated returns to team up with someone from Adair's past, he and his family start receiving cryptic advice seemingly from the future. Caught between past and present, and hoping they don’t muck up said future, the dorks must decide how far they’re willing to defy authority, their own arcane training, and calendars.

3. Untitled (brainstorming 1st draft) POV: Ditto, although by this point I might throw in a 5th and add Camille into the mix. This book snuck into a previously-planned trilogy a few months ago so it’s the newcomer of this quartet. Blurb: Adair has been begrudgingly promoted and is now able to practice his cartography wherever he chooses. The dorks, along with their fledgling carnival troupe, are asked to travel to the neighboring country to check for anyone showing signs of magic. This is a cover to hide their real task of investigating the possible source of the arcane glitches happening back home in Concordia. They soon find out that Galanvoth’s plotting goes deeper than anyone thought. It’s up to the dorks to do their own kind of bizarre plotting involving disguises and a fake marriage trope to get to the truth. Will they be able to uncover the people responsible before the magical disruption turns into permanent damage to their home?

4. Iconoclasm (first draft started, but needs to be massively re-outlined) POV: Ditto and I have no idea who else might be joining by this point lol Blurb: As if the previous assignment wasn’t weird enough, a being straight out of history approaches the artists with a plea. There's trouble in his home and he asks that the help he once gave be returned. His only requirement is that the dorks be the ones sent, much to their dismay. Three of them are fugitives and Montglace doesn't exactly embrace outsiders with open arms. Fortunately there's a resistance brewing and those rebels are more than happy to accept strangers into their midst-- at least until they realize how strange said strangers are. When the dorks are forced apart, they begin to realize that they can never truly be separated. If they can find a way to weave their magics into each other and face their greatest fears, they just might be able to help bring down a stagnant and cruel mythos. And hey, if they can do this, facing their own people to tell them that they kinda broke artisan tradition (again) and mucked with magic (again) won’t be nearly as bad, right?

I have two more under the read more. :)

5. Shadowweaver (book 1 in the next trilogy. 1st draft is sorta started-- it was originally part of Sentinel before I pulled Gilly’s subplot out of it and moved her later in the series) POV: Still 3rd person limited, multiple. Likely Gilly, Grandeau, and Astra, but this trilogy is weird because it takes place in two points on the timeline with one of the MCs serving as a bridge and I’m not sure yet how much of Astra’s plot fits into the first book. (I introduced Gilly, Chell, and Ametrine here. Ametrine is the dorks’ adopted son, Astra is his younger sister [not adopted], and Grandeau is Gilly’s brother although she doesn’t know that yet.) Blurb: Gilly is a carnival performer, thief, and ghost-freer who shares these jobs with her roommate/best friend Ametrine. While the two of them are tracking down art that was illegally gained by a dishonest art dealer, the dealer’s sister catches Gilly in the act. She gets away, but is intrigued by this girl whose weak voice is oddly captivating. She finds herself drawn back and soon discovers that while Chantrell is confined in her own home, she isn’t as sick as she appears, nor is she as dead as people seem to think she is. Gilly is determined to find out the truth and, with Ametrine’s help, set her new friend free.

6. Sciamachy (book 2 in the next trilogy, brainstorming) Blurb: Chantrell has joined Gilly and Ametrine on their thieving and ghost hunting adventures; with her magical ability to produce any sound, Chell is the perfect distraction for the others’ heists. It’s during one of these encounters that Gilly notices a shadow that shouldn’t be there. Meanwhile Astra, twenty years in the future, notices the same thing. Someone or something is trying to reach out to the girls using the shadow magic they both share. Could this be connected to the elementals that Astra has discovered are being used to power Galanvoth’s inventions?

-----------------------

I have other stories in progress or in the planning stages, but those are short stories, so I didn’t include them here. I have ideas for way more books because my plan is to make this a huge sprawling series that spans centuries and locations (and possibly worlds). Like I want to write one about the founding of Concordia and the Muses and my immortal character back when she was very young, and maybe more following that character at different points on the timeline, and one that follows the “antagonist” of Colorweaver, and... well, I’ve been working on this series for five years and I’d gladly work on it for another fifty. :D 

I’m not sure if you’ve done this yet, but I’m going to tag @lynnafred @elliot-orion @lady-redshield-writes @homesteadhorner @perringwrites @joshuaorrizonte @thatwriternamedvolk @theguildedtypewriter and anyone else who happens to see this and wants to play because I’ve been gone WAY too long and I need a recap on what everyone is working on. So if you’ve done this before or have a similar post already shared, feel free to link me to it or tag me in it. No need to do a tag game, I just would love reminders of what everyone is writing. <3

[randomscenariosandwritings]

The Stars and the Sand

~The Stars and the Sand~Nct!Soulmate Au Part 2

Parts out --> Part 1//Part 1.5//Thanksgiving Special//Part 2 (Congratulations you are here!!)//Part 2.5// Part 3 No links for now cause I'm lazy...

A/N Yes you read that right, finally a real part 2 instead of just little extras and bonuses. Fair warning this might be awful I have no real idea and I’m once again too lazy to properly edit this or edit it at all so there’s probably a ton of errors and it probably sucks but here it is anyway cause if I don’t post it now I might not ever! Either way, I hope you enjoy this part 2! One more thing before I actually get into it I’m a jerk who totally lied to you! I promised you’d find out his name in part 2, but I decided it would be better if you didn’t learn his name until they met, also because I just really love seeing all your guesses and letting you get involved in this...if you’re really pissed and you message me in private I might share the answer with you, but I’d really like to continue to keep it a secret because it’ll work better this way. So you’ll for sure find out in the next part cause that one will be the last part unless you guys want some extreme drama and angst type stuff to go down...let me know if you do and I’ll make it happen, if not next part will be the last one. Also feel free to just comment and talk to me I love hearing from you even if you don’t like something I did in the story feedback is appreciated and it’s nice just to know that people are reading this and have things to say, that being said if you’re just gonna cuss me out and complain and say you hate it without saying why please just don't share I'm not gonna take unjustified hate it's rude and cruel, if you have justification let me know and we can have a civil discussion but please don't just scream at me and not tell me why I suck.

Description: He was the sun and she was the moon and they were soulmates. Which was both a blessing and a curse. She needed his light and warmth and he needed her to reflect it back to him, but they were ever so distant, both unable to truly reach each other. He reached out for her every way he could, but only in his darkest moments could she ever be found.

Genre: Same as the last few parts angst and fluff, lots of fluff this time around some really crappy angst near the end I don’t know this whole post is probably crap but oh well

Warnings: Cursing, panic attack, mentions of suicide, alcohol, abandonment that’s it I think...

Word count: 4161 words

(Not my gif once again, what a surprise, but it’s super cute so major props to the creator all credit to them and their amazing art) Also bold is written, italicized are thought/dreamt

She stood at the foot of a wide staircase looking up. She wore a delicate ballgown and silver heels, diamonds dripped off of her from her ears, her neck, her wrists, and fingers. She was looking up, looking up at him, the shadowy figure at the top of the stairs, a silhouette, her view blinded by the lights shining brightly behind him from the very lively ballroom full of people, an audience he was disappointing by disappearing to chase her down. The lights framed him like a golden halo, a sign that he was from the heavens and her from the Earth below. She couldn't see his eyes, but she knew they were locked with her own and were transfixed on her whether that was out of shock and wonder or disgust or hurt and betrayal she knew not, all she knew was he was frozen at the top of the stairs looking down and she was stuck at the bottom looking up. Ultimately it was her who broke from this spell that kept them stuck in place and she turned and ran towards the woods, but as she left him behind she heard his voice echo in her head "I'll find you again, my dear cinnamon, I will. I swear it to you on all the stars and every piece of sand." It was the last thing she heard before morning brought her back to her senses, and the first thing that day that tipped her off to the fact that she may be falling for the boy she swore she’d never love.

It was still early in the morning when she rose from her bed and began the trek downstairs to make breakfast for herself, Taeyong, and their Aunt. Jinki and Soonkyu were never home these days and so she had simply stopped making them breakfast. She trudged down the stairs all the while cursing the game of checkers that had spelled her doom and forced this early morning on her when she lost to Taeyong yet again. She was beginning to think she was just bad at games... Either way there she was standing in the kitchen over a frying pan when the first message of the day from her soulmate appeared on her skin, "Hello, cinnamon!! I hope you have a great day, cause I know I will (how can I not when you're my soulmate), if your day starts going bad remember there are more reasons to smile than pieces of sand in the world, and though most of them revolve around you there are other reasons made just to see your beautiful smile, love you!!" She smiled fondly at the sweet and loving words written on her skin in red ink. 

She was still smiling and humming lightly to herself when Taeyong emerged from his room and entered the kitchen. "I've never seen you this happy to make breakfast, so imposter answer me this, who are you and what have you done with my baby sister?" Taeyong asked as he sat down on one of the stools behind the counter. 

"What's wrong with being happy, Tae?" She questioned giving him a quizzical look when he didn't respond she explained slightly, "There's just a lot of reasons to smile, more in fact than pieces of sand on Earth," She said but he was still very confused, so he stared at her like she'd lost her mind until she began to dish up the food and he became too distracted to care. Then she went to go wake her aunt and it was on their return to the kitchen that her aunt told her something that had her reeling and confused the rest of the day.

He woke up after a very restful sleep and for once truly enjoyed, truly loved the sun, it's greeting, and its companionship. Sure, he had always preferred sunny weather, but he'd never truly loved the sun with complete sincerity until today. So, it was the sun and his new found appreciation for it, no, his newfound understanding that inspired him to do what he did that day, though it had truly begun with sand and the color red. He'd woken up to soft fingers of light on his cheek and light dancing across the now smudged drawings from the day before, flowers and stars, the moon and the sea fuzzy and hazy from both his sleepy eyes and time, wear and tear applied to even the most beautiful things. The light had illuminated these beautiful scenes that screamed to the world no matter how broken we both are no matter how distant we are still beautiful, the world is still beautiful and we are inseparable in ways that not even the sun and the moon could understand. He and the sun had truly become one that morning when he woke up and once again saw the world as beautiful when he woke up and smiled at the pot of flowers on his windowsill and at the trees outside and the birds amongst its leaves singing loudly. Most of all though, it was because he loved the moon, he shined for her and told her she was beautiful, he illuminated her and taught her to shine, to love her own skin, she had grown up knowing and believing she was beautiful because he told her she was with the drawings he covered her with. He reminded her of the beauty and that was the suns role. It may be warm, it may be destructive, but it was also a light giver, a life giver, an illuminator, a seer of beauty, an appreciator of art, a witness to the extravagance and brilliance of life, and a general life enthusiast who gave his everything to everything he did. Today he would share that light and he would show her even more beautiful things and then he would tell her what was most beautiful. 

That morning after telling her there were many reasons to smile, he began to tell her what they were and just like his mornings his list began with morning coffee the soothing warm liquid that woke him up and gave him energy, a life giver of its own sort, perhaps just a simple falsehood, but that didn't make it's presence in his life any less sweet and good. He found the next items on his list when his neighbor's little sister showed up at his door with her hair pulled up an apron on and flour on her face.

"Write your mom a note, you're coming over for breakfast," She said quickly shoving him towards the kitchen to write said note.

"Nuh-uh, I am making my mom some breakfast and then I'll join you," He replied and she sighed before waving her arm at him and letting him begin.

While he cooked she wrote a note to his mom and once both were complete they left together and walked over to her house. There he found a pile of chocolate chip pancakes waiting for him and the two siblings. Several bowls of toppings were scattered on the counter as well, none of them healthy other than the bananas and strawberries but that was to be expected from the two siblings, one a college student and the other a high school senior just about to graduate and join the two boys in university. Taeil did usually remain on the healthier side but they had a cheat day once a week where his little sister was entirely in charge of deciding what they ate and when, it was his way of making sure her voice was always heard, and today was very clearly that day.  

After eating and laughing over stacks of chocolate chip pancakes with some of his favorite people in the world, he was very aware of what the next two things he'd write to her would be. It was very obviously chocolate chip pancakes and friends who are like family or family that are your friends. A little while later these same siblings gave him the next thing he'd write to her too.

She knew she was in trouble as soon as the fourth thing appeared on her arm, yes everything else he'd written had been cute and sweet and lovely and made her smile, but this fourth thing only made it more obvious to her that he was meant for her and she knew there was no way she would be able to avoid falling in love with him, not when he gave her more reasons to smile than there were stars in the sky. 

She had burst out laughing when the fourth thing had appeared on her skin in orange ink and promptly squealed about it only moments later, though it wasn't really anything to squeal over it was weird and funny and charming and darling and adorable and oh god how she loved it, oh how it made her smile. This, of course, gained Taeyong's attention especially since he was seated on the floor in front of her position on the couch and she was very loud...and also nearly kicked him in the head. "What did he say now?" Taeyong asked pushing her into a sitting position and joining her on the couch. She didn't answer just smiled. So, he took her arm and searched for new writing and found it there on her wrist in orange. "You're going to think this is really dumb, but my neighbors have a pair of salt and pepper shakers that are shaped like dinosaurs and I thought it was really funny..." Taeyong read aloud before fixing his sister with a look of annoyance, it was one of those done parent looks that each of them saw many parents and older siblings give out, not that their own mother had ever given it to either of them nor had either of their siblings, Jinki had been too depressed after his soulmate's tragic end and Soonkyu hadn't been home since she left on her honeymoon and she'd always been so kind and loving and supportive until then. She'd been 100% smiles until she was abandoned at a train station. The first time they ever heard her cry was over the phone when she told them what had happened. "Only you would find that so adorable, I'm serious you're meant to be," Taeyong said reigning in his thoughts before they went too far down the rabbit hole. This was one wonderland he didn't want to experience. 

His little sister just stuck out her tongue and then shoved him off the couch. No other response other than those two actions to his words. He sighed as soon as he hit the ground and then decided to be a little drama queen, at least that's what his baby sister would have said if you asked her to explain what happened next. 

"How dare you?!" He called out in quite the dramatic fashion, flinging his arms around and throwing one over his eyes before continuing, "I trusted you, I loved you," He exclaimed slightly being very over dramatic about his slight fall to the ground. "I can't believe it, my own sister...my killer..." He mused before feigning a dramatic death scene. She laughed softly at her older brother and he shot up into a sitting position. "Don't laugh this is a serious moment, I've just died! What kind of sister are you?" He questioned acting all hurt and then promptly returning to his "dead" position. She stifled back the laugh that was rising in her throat and decided to join his antics. 

"Oh no! Taeyong! What have I done! I never meant to kill you!" She said throwing an arm over her eyes in a dramatic fashion and pausing on the couch for a moment before coming to kneel beside him, who was now the one trying to hide his laughter. "Can you forgive me?" She pleaded in a very obviously fake and overdramatic voice. Then a moment of silence before they both burst out laughing loudly. They were consumed by the best kind of laughter, the uncontrollable, unceasing, and extremely loud laughter that shook you and made you cry and caused your side to ache and that only subsided after a soft fade to silence as you wiped your eyes and clutched your side. "I love my brother," she thought softly to herself, but her soulmate heard her and smiled gently at her kind words and the way she said them and that was how he found the fifth item for his list, a family that loves you. It wasn't long before that too was written on her skin in green ink. She smiled at that one too, especially the little pink heart drawn next to it. 

It was in that moment that she remembered the words of her aunt, the words that had never truly left her today, they'd been lingering all day and leaving her with only questions and no answers. 

"Love him while you can," Her aunt had told her when she'd woken her up and her aunt had seen the words on her skin in various colors, only two at the time, but enough for her aunt to feel the need to tell her this. The words had surprised her especially coming from the aunt who had cursed love and soulmates for as long as she'd known her, the aunt who fell into drunken stupors every night and woke with hangovers every morning. She'd wanted to ask how her aunt could say that when every other moment she preached against love and it's poisonous claws, but they had made it downstairs too fast and there was no chance.

After these five things alone she knew she did love him, but even then she was still terrified, because her aunts comment had not told her that the love would last nor that it would be good just that she should love him, and she still saw her aunt pick up the bottle later that day when she and Taeyong had plopped down in front of the tv to watch a drama they were both highly invested in. Still heard the muttered curses against love and the man who had left her. So she was left to wonder why should she love if one day she too would be cursed to wander halls like a ghost and know a life of liquor and anger and nothing more? What was the point of love if all it did was hurt? 

Yet, she couldn't help but love the boy who wrote things like, I saw a squirrel today it stared at me for like ten seconds, so basically I won a staring contest with a squirrel, my neighbor's sister is belting out Fantastic Baby really loud and headbanging and it's highly amusing, there are really pretty flowers in my neighbors' yard and my yard too by the way, or there was a really cute puppy on a walk today and I think puppies existing at all is a reason to smile, we don't deserve dogs. She loved the boy who found all the possible reasons to smile in all the littlest things. 

She fell asleep reading all the reasons to smile and he fell asleep with a silver pen in hand ready to write yet another reason to smile. Neither of them expected to be waking up a few hours later in such complete panic and terror.

She was on the floor sobbing and shaking and in the middle of a panic attack when she heard his voice in her head singing to her softly and saw more writing appearing on her arms, writing she couldn't read through the tears and the shaking and the fear. 

He woke up to curse words, a panicked voice, and jumbled thoughts streaming through his head erratically in her voice, once lyrical and beautiful now panicked, strung out, and thin. He felt her panic in his mind and for a moment almost began to panic himself before realizing that wouldn't help her. So he sang her a song, the very song her favorite quote and drawing were inspired by (It's Miracle, specifically the NCT Dream cover if you're curious, it might also contain a hint as to who her soulmate is ;) ). He wrote words to her carefully and calmly and prayed she would be able to read them all the while still singing to her. "I love you," He wrote "You're beautiful," "Look at the moon, find it and know I'm looking at it too and I'm here," "The moon knows you well, I tell the moon all about you at night, it'll watch over you tonight since I can't," "Believe me if I were with you I'd hold you in my arms and make you hot cocoa and make sure you felt safe and loved," He wrote so many different things trying to get her to see them, trying to calm her with soothing words of love and when his song finished he sang another and another until her jumbled thoughts latched onto the words and started thinking them back to him, she was beginning to calm and as she calmed so did he. 

"Did you mean everything you wrote?" She asked when her thoughts were finally her own again and not that panicked mess of pain and hopelessness and she had read everything he'd written on their shared skin. 

"I did," He responded gently and began to draw a little flower on his skin. "I do love you and even though I haven't seen you I know you're beautiful, I stare at the moon all the time and I tell the moon about you every night except for tonight cause I was too busy writing to you, I sure would've done anything to help you if I were there," He concluded and only silence greeted him for a minute.

"I'm sorry about that, I must have woken you up," She said after a moment and he sighed softly.

"You don't have to apologize, you don't choose when you have a panic attack," He replied shaking his head and continuing to draw flowers and hearts on his skin. "If you don't mind me asking, was there a cause or did it just happen?" 

"They're usually unexpected, just kind of come whenever, but this time it was a nightmare, I was falling," She replied too shaken to bother lying, plus she just needed to talk to someone and there was no way she'd be bothering Taeyong when she'd heard him crying to himself earlier and she knew he needed sleep. They could comfort each other in the morning but for now, she needed someone to talk, to listen, to be present.

"Do you fear falling?" He questioned, trying to better understand his soulmate, the female voice in his head, the soft handwriting he'd seen only a few times.

“No, it just brings back a time when I watched someone I cared about fall from a very high height," She replied softly careful about what she said not yet wanting to tell him everything, but if he asked she'd share.

"How often do you have them?" He asked swaying the topics, he'd felt her apprehension, her desire not to tell him, but her willingness to tell him if he asked, he wouldn't ask if only to give her what she truly wanted.

"Pretty often, often enough that we moved all the way out here so I could actually attend university, frequent enough that I can't stay in a dorm," She answered pretending it didn't bother her, but he saw right through it and knew she wanted desperately to just lead a normal life, she wanted to not fear having a soulmate, she wanted to love and be loved without fear, she wanted to trust people, live in dorms, and not have panic attacks but something long ago had changed everything for her. He wanted to know what it was but if she wasn't ready he wouldn't push it. "It's gotten better though, I used to not be able to sleep at all, then I could sleep only a little, then they were everyday, now they're frequent but not nearly that often," She explained trying to comfort him before letting out a sigh and deciding it was time he knew. "It's why I wanted to ignore you," She said softly.

"Because you have panic attacks?" He questioned seeking clarification for her words. 

"No, because of the event that caused the panic attacks," She responded and then sucked in a shaky breath, "I watched my mother swan dive off a roof because my father, her soulmate had left her, my family is cursed when it comes to soulmates," She concluded and he nodded silently in understanding, it only made him love her more, no that was a lie, it only made him realize how much he loved her when his heart broke at her tender, vulnerable, and entirely true words.

"I can stop if you want, if I make it worse, if I'm hurting you I can stop," He said softly after a moments pause, he would rather never write to her again, rather ignore her than hurt her any more than he might have already. 

"Please don't stop," She replied softly, "I m getting better because of you, it's nice to have someone to talk to all the time, someone who cares, it's nice to be loved by more than just my brother and a few friends," She continued knowing that as much as her aunt said she loved her she didn't, you can't love someone if you spend 95% of your time incapable of comprehensible thoughts, and as much as her eldest siblings would tell her they loved her when they were still around you don't just abandon people you love as they had, you don't leave and never come back and you certainly don't ingrain fear into every fiber of their being just because life has hurt you. Taeyong, Chenle, Renjun, and Jeno were the only ones who loved her so totally beside her unknown soulmate. He heard these thoughts too and nearly screamed when he heard Chenle's name run through his head, she was that close and yet she was so far away.

"Cinnamon," He began slowly bringing her attention back to his familiar voice. "I wish I could send you a bouquet of flowers, my neighbor has a whole section of books in his library about the language of flowers so I'd get him to help me, but if I remember right I already know what flowers I'd put in it, I'd put bluebells, dahlias, forget-me-nots, and peach blossoms into a bouquet and give it to you if only I could find you," He told her, what he didn't tell her was what it was he thought those flowers meant, he also didn't tell her that Chenle's soulmate was his neighbor's sister, the very one that had made him come over for pancakes dusted in flour and messy with the efforts of cooking. He didn't tell her that even if he hadn't met her he saw her in the stars in the sky every time he looked out his window at night, didn't tell her that he loved her with more love than the vast expanse of the universe, didn't tell her that if they got a second together for every grain of sand in the world or every star in the entire unending galaxies and universes that still wouldn't be enough time. He didn't tell her that he'd never leave her, because he knew she wouldn't believe him and it would just hurt her if she thought he was making a false promise just to make her feel better. So he stuck with just wishing he could buy her a bouquet and she heard none of these other secrets. Knew none of the promises he'd made to both of them in his heart. 

"I'd buy you coffee," She replied after a moment of silence between them, "there's a cafe near my house, I'd take you there and buy you a cup of coffee," She continued and the weight of what she'd just said made him weightless. That was the night he learned that the best conversations were held under the stars after a day of counting grains of sand. Nothing had ever mattered to him more than the simple words I'd buy you coffee in that specific moment. In any other moment those words would have had very little significance, but at this moment, in her voice in his head, in this way they meant everything. Context truly was everything and that night everything changed and nothing could ever be the same. Nothing could ever go back to the way it had been there would be no hope of her ever being able to ignore him ever again. Their worlds had shifted, the tides had shifted, and that single moment was the beginning and end of everything they'd ever known.

(Not my gif again, still not a surprise, credit it to whoever made this gem)

A/N hope you liked it, you probably didn’t but yay to anyone who did! Like and comment and tell me what you thought, honestly just talk to me, it doesn’t even have to be about the story, I just like hearing from all of you!

~Bonus for whoever made it here (Not any story just an extra little tidbit because I’m extra)~

Meaning of flowers (cause I'm extra af and put way too much thought into this story that like 5 people will probably enjoy): blue bells= humility, and constancy, depict devotion towards loved one; I will be constant; also, everlasting love, dahlias= positive changes, commitment, honesty, everlasting commitment; forever thine, forget-me-nots= true love, remembrance, fidelity, long-lasting connection, peach blossoms= this heart is thine; I am your captive; I am yours

[fandomoniumflurry]

No One’s in the Way

Dean Winchester x Jo Harvelle x Harley Wentworth(OFC) (Chestervelle x OFC)

for @spnpolybingo Square filled: Clothes sharing

for @spnfluffbingo Square FIlled: Photoshoot

also this is the first time I’ve introduced my original female character into my fanfics. I’m hoping to do more with her but until now she’s just gonna be a crossover character. you may see her more from time to time in random things but this is just a quick peek into the lovely former gangster so do be kind. This was mainly for my own entertainment and feels so if you enjoy it, great. If not, oh well lol This character has been my baby for years now and I just want to write her more and this is my way of getting her out a little.

4k+ words, language, poly, pining, some tears, mainly fluffy. no beta as usual. **Edit by me**

taggers: @becs-bunker @keepcalmimthecupcake @janai-mcgarrett @hunterswearingplaid @lukecastellamz @elsatxx @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @ambermei

As she held the camera, the pink and blue haired woman couldn’t help but admire her subject. Growing up on the wrong side of the tracks, she never had a chance of getting to know such a beauty. The blonde was a spitfire but she was sweet and innocent in a lot of ways. There would be no way in hell Jo’s mom would ever approve of the two women having any kind of connection. Where the blonde was tanned and sober, Harley was a tattooed ex-junkie. It didn’t stop either of them from meeting and becoming friends.

Most people wouldn’t understand how the two got along or how a girl that grew up on the streets and involved in a gang fell in with the daughter of a bar owner from a small town. But somehow they just fit and Jo was Harley’s favorite work of art. The blonde never found it odd when her scantily clad petite friend took her picture or posted those pictures all over her studio which was also her apartment.

Harley had been trying to get clean the whole time Jo had known her so she could never understand everyone’s judgement of their friendship. It was no surprise that Ash was the one to bring the two girls together. The young woman had had a rough life and Jo admired her for trying to turn her life around. The blonde was simply helping her adjust to her new life and make a new name for herself. Photography was the tattooed girl’s passion so Jo would gladly be her muse. And she wouldn’t lie and say she didn’t enjoy the attention.

Boys never paid much attention to the young tomboy, the girl that could beat them at video games and in a fight. It was hard to get a guy that would appreciate her strength and independence. But Harley did. Harley was smug and confident, a lioness of beauty and grace, a petite and feminine predator that held determination and will of anyone three times her size. What was there not to admire about the ex-con? And as far as the Harvelle knew, there was no boyfriend that Harley would ditch her for like some of her other girl friends had. So in Jo’s eyes, Harley Wentworth was the perfect friend, shady past and all.

Harley hadn’t finished high school so she was supportive of Jo’s choice to drop out of college, much to Ellen’s dismay. Though Ellen didn’t really want her daughter working at the Roadhouse, she thought it a better choice than any alternative. At least this way she could keep an eye on her only family left. Harley never came to the Roadhouse knowing that Ellen was one foul word away from hating her.

People hating her was not something new to the former gang leader but it stung this time just because it was Jo’s mom. If it had been anyone else, she would have flipped them off, walked out and peed on their car or something. But Jo was special and the approval of her mother was important and so Harley didn’t push her luck. Not that her mom’s disapproval kept Jo from hanging out with her, sometimes sneaking out to do just that. Harley never asked her to, as a matter of fact, Harley had advised against it, not wishing to be any more on the matriarch’s bad side. But she never turned the blonde away, heaven knows she couldn’t even if she wanted to.

You see, the problem with Harley was she was pretty head over heels for the younger woman. It had never been brought up as to why Harley never had a boyfriend or had guys over. She never explained why she never flirted with guys when they went out together. Her orientation just never came up because once Jo had called them friends, she knew it wasn’t important. It was pretty instant for Harley, before Jo even spoke, she knew she was in deep. The only problem was that she had been friend zoned pretty quickly and though it was a shot to her ego, it stung her heart a little more.

But Jo was good for her, inspiring a change in her wild party hard lifestyle. And so she was content having the girl as her friend. Another thing that had never been discussed is their mutual acquaintances. One of which happened to be Dean Winchester. The hunter had attempted to pick up the girl with the studded nose and tattooed neck. He was shot down but it wasn’t long before the two of them started picking up women together. And thus a close friendship was born.

That was a few years ago, back when bars and drugs was her scene and it was him that had took her in and helped her out when she hit rock bottom. If it wasn’t for Dean and his brother Sam, she wouldn’t be clean and sober today, even though Dean was still a bit of an alcoholic and a playboy himself. But that was something that just didn’t get brought up. So as Jo spoke about her newest crush, Harley couldn’t help but think of Dean, who she would be calling later, telling him about her own secret crush.

“Can I stay with you tonight and maybe invite him over?” Jo was staring at the blue eyed photographer with pouty lips and pleading chocolate orbs. Harley frowned slightly but before she could deny the blonde’s request, the younger woman came bounding over to her. Harley’s eyes were wide as Jo practically bounced in place with her hands in the hold of her thin fingers. “Please, Quinn. You know I’d never get to see him if I had to have him over at my house. You’re my best friend and I want you to meet him. Your opinion is everything!” More pouty lips and an unfair use of puppy dog eyes.

Harley sighed in defeat before she nodded slowly, her blue pools falling to look at their joined hands. Jo squealed with delight and threw her arms around the former junkie, leaving Harley no choice but to catch her when she came off the ground. Arms wrapped around the young woman and for a moment she could pretend that all this excitement was over her. But she couldn’t stay in the fantasy because Jo pushed free and informed her that she was going to go call her guy friend, whom Harley already despised.

She scowled at the back of Jo’s head, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout of her own. What could this boy possibly have that she didn’t? Had he been there to wipe her tears, share her burdens, laugh with her, open her arms and her home for the young Harvelle? No, she would guess not. And yet he was the object of Jo’s affection. She couldn’t help but feel bitter but so far Jo seemed to be completely oblivious to her bitterness.

By the look on Jo’s face when she came sauntering back into the room, her intended had agreed to stop by. The blonde was practically vibrating and didn’t notice the sour look on Harley’s face. “Can I borrow some clothes?” Jo asked, her hands tucking into the back pockets of her jeans. She looked almost shy in the moment, her innocence showing in her averted eyes and pinkening cheeks. “Something...sexy?”

Harley’s eyes grew wide. They had shared clothes before, Jo only slightly bigger than Harley. But their styles were entirely different. Harley was confident in her skin, showing off all the artwork that she had etched into her body so she wore short skirts, revealing dresses, thin shirts and tank tops. Not that Jo’s clothes were ugly but they were more modest and subdued instead of brightly colored or flashy patterned that were in Harley’s closet.

The clothes Jo usually borrowed were some of her friend’s more conservative articles, mostly just sleepwear or comfy day clothes. But now as she stood there asking for a different kind of apparel, Harley could hear her heart break. She nodded anyway and turned to lead the way to her walk in closet. Hopefully, the blonde wouldn’t be asking to use her bed later.

Sensing the change in mood, Jo grabbed Harley’s camera and before the tattooed beauty started going through hangers, Jo handed the device to her. A brow lifted in confusion as blue eyes looked up at Jo. “Let’s make it a photoshoot!” Harley’s lips curled slightly. Jo knew her so well and the pink haired woman nodded, taking her kodak out of Jo’s grasp.

“Ok, get that pretty little ass in that closet and show me what you fucking got.” Harley’s smile returned and she stepped away to allow Jo to begin to pick out outfits from the closet full of clothing of all different colors, patterns and textures.

The first few outfits were just meant to make the photographer laugh, furry tails, spiky skirts, tight belts and shapeless dresses. A leather one piece snuggly clung to her every curve but instead of being sexy, she pushed out every roll and bulge, hunching over and twisting to make it unattractive. Jo was afraid she was going to bust a seam because she was laughing so hard.

Falling on their backs on the bed, they had to take a break. The camera had been shaking so much from giggles that the pictures were just coming out blurry. The chimes that rang through the apartment, a rap beat accompanied by beatbox, never failed to make Jo laugh. But this time, the blonde shot straight up in a sitting position with a look of terror on her features. A hand rubbed softly down Jo’s back before the camera came to rest on the bed beside her.

The mattress lifted slightly when Harley rose and moved out of the room on a mission to open the door. When the wooden door came ajar, Harley stared at Dean in confusion. He grinned and offered her a wave. “It’s just a friend of mine!” She called out behind her.

Feeling relieved, Jo came around the corner. All relief washed away, taking all color from her face with it. “Dean.”

“Hey, Jo.” Dean smiled with a wave of his fingers before looking at Harley with a wink. She narrowed her eyes at him before he let himself in. She watched him closely as she closed the door and sneered when he moved over to place his hands in Jo’s. “Nice outfit.”

Jo was too dazed to realize she was still wearing the leather. Her cheeks burned red and Dean laughed when she quickly darted back into the bedroom to change. His smile disappeared when he turned around to find an angry petite mop of pink and blue hair, a face glaring up at him with arms crossed over her chest.

There wasn’t much that scared the infamous Dean Winchester but Harley was definitely one of those things. He towered over her at six feet one to her even five feet and yet if she wanted to, she could easily take him down. He had a hundred pound on her easy but her size was her greatest asset. He flinched when she threw a punch at his shoulder, nowhere near her full strength and yet like a scolded puppy, he pouted and put a hand on his arm, hoping it wouldn’t bruise.

“What the fuck, Winchester?! You’re the man meat??” The foul mouthed woman leered up at him and Dean just shrugged earning him a punch to the other shoulder. “Did you know?!”

“Until Jo called and gave me her friend’s address, no, I didn’t know. Wasn’t that hard to figure out. I’m disappointed in myself for not figuring it out sooner.”

A heaving sigh fell from think pink lips before the ex-con plopped down on her couch in a heap. Her head fell back, defeat taking over and her last shred of hope flying out the window. There was silence for a few brief moments until Harley spoke, her eyes staring up at the ceiling. “Do you like her back?” The words were a forlorn whisper and Dean frowned down at her.

A moment later, he was sitting down next to her. Harley’s head lulled to the side to catch his expression and she smiled ruefully. Sliding her arm in his, she laid her hand on his shoulder. His head rested against hers after he pressed a kiss to the roots of blonde in the blue of her hair. He whispered his apologies and she wrapped her fingers in his and squeezed in assurance. They would have to figure it out but no girl was worth ruining this friendship.

Both heads lifted the second Jo stepped timidly into the room, her hands folded in front of her. The clothes she had picked were simple but perhaps that was what made her so stunning. She had on a short purple skirt, one of Harley’s favorites, not flashy or ornate, accentuated by a pair of knee high black boots and a thick black belt with silver studs around her middle. The silver shirt sparkled faintly, hanging off the shoulders and a pair of muted silver and purple earrings hung from her ears. She had done a little makeup and curled her hair and she blew her two admirers away.

She grinned with bright red cheeks when she spotted the way they looked at her. “Wow.” Dean’s soft exclamation didn’t even begin to describe it. Unable to find the words either, Harley just chose to say nothing, staring as her mouth hung open.

Next thing they knew, a flash left them seeing spots. Jo giggled as she lowered the camera that captured the pair on the couch in pixels forever. The two of them looked at each other with equal amount of mischief. A silent conversation passed between the two of them and they grinned before their heads turned to look at Jo. Suddenly feeling uneasy in the predatory gaze of her friends, the blonde took a step back. The moment the two hopped up off the couch, Jo squealed before darting back to the bedroom.

She was laughing as she tried to close the door on them but it was no use. While Dean held the door open a crack, Harley slipped in. The photographer took the camera from Jo’s hands and began snapping pictures. The blonde’s face was wrinkled with her fits of laughter and she put her hands up to try and avoid the flashes. Dean was behind her before she knew it, curling an arm around her shoulders while the other helped pin her hands.

Jo leaned back into him, gladly reveling in his embrace and willingly posing for the continuing clicking of the camera. Harley lowered the device for a moment and watch as the couple laughed and held each other close, more involved in one another to notice that Harley had stopped taking pictures. Her heart swelled, though with jealousy and an ache that seemed to splinter her bones but mostly with pride and happiness. The way they were together, there was no doubting that they were made for each other.

Dean’s eyes peeled from the blonde in his arms to catch Harley’s longing gaze, slightly misty with emotion. He unwrapped himself from around the younger woman and reached for the camera. “You’re turn to be in the pictures, Harlequin.” There was no time for argument when Jo wrapped slender fingers around Harley’s arm and pulled the pink haired girl into her side and plastered herself against her, beginning to pose for this new round of photos. These all would definitely be put up on the studio walls. Even if just for a reminder of the day her two closest friends came together for the first time and how happy they were.

She clung to the blonde, taking all she could get of the woman’s warmth and tender affection. When lips pressed gently against Harley’s cheeks, she was stunned into silence and her body went stiff. Hoping that neither of them had noticed her reaction, she swallowed and smiled softly. Dean lowered the camera and smiled crookedly with a knowing look in his eyes. Harley averted her eyes but Jo’s arms curled around her neck and made her look between the two of them.

Dean set up the camera on the tripod before he came to stand on the other side of Jo, his arms wrapping around her thin waist. The intimate pose between the three of them made Harley suddenly nervous and when the camera flashed, she knew her face would look far from happy like the other’s smiles suggested. Before another photo could be taken, the photographer slipped out of Jo’s arms and made way to walk out of the room. It took an embarrassingly long second for either of the two to go after her.

“Har.” Dean was the first to call out to her and with a sigh, the petite woman turned to face him. The look on her face made his mouth  turn into a faint frown. Harley cast a glance at Jo before returning her attention to Dean, the man mimicking the exact movement as well. “Where are you going?”

“I need some air.” Harley exhaled the words before turning to move towards the door once more. The hand around her wrist stopped her and when she looked over her shoulder, she saw Jo’s eyes soften. “You guys need some alone time.” She plastered on her famous smile, though faked, it always did its job.

And yet for some reason, Jo and Dean could see right through it. Dean didn’t remove his hand from around her wrist and the blonde took a step closer, only to be stopped by the man beside her. Her face wrinkled in confusion but he nodded and with a sigh, she took a step back.  The way the two of them were looking at her, Harley started to feel self conscious. She thought about pulling away for a moment, her pink and blue hair shuffling a bit as she turned her head to look at her options.

“Ya know,” Dean started talking and Harley immediately locked eyes with his. There was a hint of sadness and sympathy in his emerald hues and she relaxed under the gaze. “At first, I was jealous.” Harley’s head tilted slightly as the man began to speak with a crooked smile. “When we first met and started hanging out, all Jo had to talk about was her awesome best friend. Hell, she had me nearly falling for this perfect woman.”

Harley’s head turned with wrinkled brow just to catch a glimpse of Jo. The blonde gave a coy smile, a faint blush on her cheeks as she shrugged her shoulders. “I started to think, why did she want to hang out with me when she had this perfect girlfriend at home?” The petite woman’s eyes were wide as saucers as she looked up at Dean again, he just quirked the corners of his lips in a grin. “Man, was I confused when she claimed to be interested in me and we started to see each other more.”

The photographer was more than confused herself and she chose not to look back at Jo anymore, unable to meet the blonde’s gaze as she tried to assess her reaction to Dean’s words. “At the same time, on the other hand, I had you telling me about this awesome friends of yours, someone that sounded absolutely perfect and made me want someone like that.” Both women listened carefully as the hunter continued, both of them wide eyed at this point, one with a smile, the other mouth agape.

“It wasn’t until tonight that I figured out what was going on. Man, I’m an idiot for taking so long.” He chuckled ruefully with a shake of his head and Jo took a step forward to place a hand on his bicep. Harley waited, hoping that he would explain fully before she burst. “You both are absolutely crazy about each other and I’ve just been standing in the way.”

Jo’s head spun quickly, taking her eyes off the other girl to stare dumbfounded at him. Jo’s reaction gave off an answer misconstrued by the pink haired woman. She frowned and easily pulled herself from the grasp of the distracted Winchester. In the brief second, Jo and Dean muttering slightly, Harley tried to make her escape before the tears could escape first. Even though it was her apartment, she was the one to run and her small size and speed allowed her to head to her car before the pair could even make it out into the parking garage.

The one thing she kept from her old life was her big purple truck, her baby, a machine she had spent years fixing up, repairing, rebuilding.  This was more her home than anywhere else and the moment she slid behind the wheel, she instantly relaxed.  She could breathe again and her eyes closed as she leaned back against the headrest, finally allowing a few tears to flow down her cheeks.

In the hustle of her escape from her closest friends,  she had forgotten to lock the doors to her car so she jumped when the passenger door and her driver’s side door both opened. The blonde climbed up next to her and Harley’s eyes were wide as she pushed her way in beside her. The truck jostled slightly as Dean jumped in and trapped the photographer between the two of them.  

“Thought we'd find you here, Quinn.” Jo muttered with a teary smile,  molding herself against the smaller woman’s side, twining her arm around hers and resting her blonde head on her shoulder.

“I'm surprised you haven't driven off yet.” Dean added from the other side,  sitting close to her but not as closely as Jo.

Harley wasn't sure what to say and a part of her couldn't help but smile at the fact that they had come after her. Then again another part of her wished that they hadn't,  it would have been easier that way.  But sandwiched between her best friends,  her body and heart betrayed her.  She rested her head against Jo’s and intertwined their fingers.  

Much to her surprise, Dean took her other hand and his green pools watched as his fingers played with hers.  She looked at him curiously before her hand closed around his and made him look up at her. “You're never in the way, Dean.” She assured him with a soft smile and the corner of his mouth lifted faintly. lifting Jo’s hand, she placed it in Dean’s,  smiling at the two of them with a nod.

The pair looked at each other and smiled bashfully, Harley finding it almost comical when they both turned bright red. Though her heart was heavy, she couldn't even be upset. The happiness of her best friends was more important than her own. Besides,  she would still have them in her life and that was better than nothing.  As they sat in silence, Harley’s blue orbs looked down at their joined hands as Dean and Jo looked at each other.

She felt their eyes on her before she even saw them looking at her. Her misty hues met Dean’s gaze as he sported an amused little grin. This only further confused her. “You've always had a habit of jumping to conclusions. I wasn't finished talking.”

Her face wrinkled in slight annoyance,  her mouth opening to give a retort but Jo stepped in first.  “I like both of you, ya dummy. Like… equally.” Meant to clear up the confusion, it simply further confused Harley. Jo couldn't help but laugh at the adorable look on her face. With her free hand,  Jo grabbed Harley’s and joined it with hers and Dean’s,  hoping that would clear it up better.

Her mouth opened but this time she had no words to say.  She just looked between the two of them with the widest of eyes. Jo nodded,  squeezing their hands then looking to Dean. He was blushing even more now, his elvish ears a bright pink as he nodded also. It was a risk, but Jo leaned forward slowly and planted a chaste kiss to Harley’s lips.  Instinctively,  the photographer's eyes closed and her chest stilled with the breath she held. Her lips were just as soft as she imagined, pressed against hers instead of her cheek.

The kiss was over as quick as it had started and Harley blinked a few times once she opened her eyes. Both of them were smiling at her and if she didn’t know any better, she would have said that butterflies erupted in her stomach. The former druggie had always been with women, no man ever catching her eye or her affections. It wasn’t that she wasn’t opposed to the idea she just never even considered it. But now that Dean was giving her that same look that he gave Jo, she started to see something she had missed during the years that she had known him.

In a flash, her hand rested on the back of his neck, long thin fingers curling into his hair as she pulled him to her for a kiss that was far more fierce than the sweet one Jo had given her. The kiss was brief and Dean was breathless when he pulled back with that goofy grin of his. Jo giggled and pulled him to her for a little bit softer kiss. “This way no one’s in the way.” She whispered against his lips before kissing him again.

“This is weird.” Harley stated with a chuckle. Though it was the truth, in that moment she couldn’t think of anything better than having the both of them for as long as they would have her.

“Oh, shut up.” A laugh bubbled through Jo’s lips before she turned to latch her mouth to Harley’s.  

“You love every minute of it.” Dean added with a smirk as his calloused hand rubbed gently up and down the pink haired woman’s bare thigh. This was going to be interesting and none of them could wait to see what the future held.

[aroworlds]

Aro-Spec Artist Profile: Alex

Today I have the delight of introducing Alex, better known to aro-spec Tumblr as @arotaro and @mutant-jojos!

Alex is a bisexual, half-Puerto Rican multi-disciplinary aromantic artist and creative with severe ADHD. You’ll find her prolific fanworks on AO3 as EmeraldTrash666, writing primarily for the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure fandom. Her bold, colourful art for the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hetalia, Pokemon and Vocaloid fandoms is also available on Redbubble under the name StellaHagane.

She writes, she creates digital art and she dabbles in music, sewing and fashion design, single-handedly proving that there’s no such thing as too much creative awesome for any one aromantic!

With us Alex talks about finding the word aro, the power of fandom and creative fanworks, her love of aro Jotaro, the challenges of creating with ADHD, the struggles of being an aro gen writer in fandom and the importance of expressing our aro headcanons. Everything she says is absolutely on point, so please let’s give her all our love, encouragement, gratitude, kudos and follows for taking the time to explore what it is to be aromantic and creative.

Can you share with us your story in being aro-spec?

I guess in some ways my “story” starts out pretty typical. Got older, kept waiting for my First Crush™, never got it, started worrying and trying to force myself to develop crushes. I actually was in a relationship with another girl on a forum I was part of as a teenager, but eventually I realized that I didn’t really like her romantically, and the relationship started to become really unpleasant for me. I eventually felt so miserable that I didn’t even want to talk at her at all, even though we were close friends, but I didn’t want to break up with her - partly because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, partly because we were everyone’s “OTP” and I didn’t want my friends to hate me for ruining that. But eventually I did break up with her, and I’m happy to say she took it with grace and we’re still close friends today! (She’s ace and a great writer/artist herself, too!)

I was part of a very nice LGBTQ+ group as a teenager, but I could never figure out my identity. I felt really ashamed and alone. Whenever I brought up how messed up I felt because I’d never had a crush on anyone, everyone was like, “Oh, sounds like you must be asexual!”, but I knew I wasn’t, and that was the worst part. Even though I knew aromanticism was a thing, nobody ever talked about it. It was only ever in the context of aroaces, so I didn’t know I was aro. I thought I must have had some sort of mental illness or something, but certainly not a legitimate orientation, nothing to be proud of like everyone else.

During that time, I found myself connecting on a deep emotional level to characters like Alphonse Elric, Fujiwara no Sai, the X-Men in general (although I’ve been an X-Men fan since I was literally a baby), basically anyone who was somehow “different” from the rest of humanity, even though I never understood why, since I was a fairly privileged kid who had never experienced much bullying or anything. Weirdly enough, it was Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure that helped me realize I was aro and come to terms with it; I saw an interview with Hirohiko Araki, the author of JJBA, where he was asked what type of girls Jotaro Kujo likes, and replied that he didn’t think Jotaro liked girls. The obvious interpretation would be that Jotaro’s gay, but somehow, one way or another, I decided to go with the idea that Jotaro’s aromantic. Jotaro also happened to be a character I really related to for reasons I couldn’t quite articulate, so around the time I was 18 I put two and two together and was like ... oh shit…

Please click keep reading to continue Alex’s story!

Can you share with us the story behind your creativity?

I’ve always been weird in the way I’m very creative, but tend to kinda bounce around from hobby to hobby. Other people draw, or write, or sing, while I draw for a month, and then write for a month and sew for a week and play video games for a week, and then I draw some more, and then I try out something completely new, and then I write again. I think it must be an ADHD thing, idk. In any case, I’ve just always been really passionate about making stuff, whatever that stuff happens to be.

I’ve also always been very much fandom-oriented. Ever since I was a toddler, I used to dictate fanfiction to my mom (back then it usually involved Winnie the Pooh, the Powerpuff Girls, Godzilla, and my dog). I mostly draw fanart. I find that I’m not really capable of writing original stories, but I’m great at getting fanfics in character, and I love writing them. I love taking stories I already love and reinterpreting them, seeing what it would be like if the characters were put into different situations, etc.

Because of my ADHD, I really struggle with actually finishing things. I try really really hard, I really do, and I’ve been trying to push myself even harder these past few years. I’ve made progress, but it’s still extremely difficult, so I’m very sorry for all the projects I’ve abandoned over the years. Sorry I still haven’t finished the fic that was supposed to be done in early March. I’m trying, really. I promise I’m working on the next chapter of BLaD, too.

Are there any particular ways your aro-spec experience is expressed in your art?

Of course, pretty much everything I write is gen. Even if I include romantic relationships in my fics, I never write about romance, just stories which also happen to include some characters who might be dating someone. And obviously I always write Jotaro as aro! That’s really important to me. No matter which AU I’m writing, he’s always aro. (And autistic, but that’s off topic.)

I’m also not really into shipping because of my romance repulsion, but I ship Joseph Joestar and Caesar Zeppeli. The thing is … I’ve always viewed it as a unique relationship, sort of difficult to define as being strictly romantic or platonic or sexual, just kind of their own thing that defies words. That’s how I’ve always written it. I had the sudden realization recently that this strange view on the only ship I really actually like (at the moment, anyway) is probably due to my being aro, lmao.

What challenges do you face as an aro-spec artist?

People don’t read gen fics, and people aren’t interested in aro stories. That’s just the way it is. I do have some dedicated readers, whom I love deeply, but in general… I could post something with a deep plot, something funny and dramatic and witty and touching, something I poured my heart and soul into for months, and it’ll get very few hits/comments/kudos, while someone else could post the same generic 2,000-word romance fic everyone’s seen a dozen times over, with no editing or anything, and get twice the amount of traffic my fics do in half the time. It’s really crushing.

How do you connect to the aro-spec and a-spec communities as an aro-spec person?

I dunno… The aro community feels so small. Online, I have a small circle of aro mutuals who all kind of vent collectively, and I’m part of Arocalypse and a few aro/aspec Discord servers, but I still feel like there isn’t really much of a larger community to be part of in the same way that there is for other orientations. Offline, I’ve never met another aro, or even anyone who actually knows what aromanticism is prior to me explaining it to them.

I also don’t feel like there’s a very unified “aspec community”. As an allo aro, I feel very rejected by the ace community - not to say that I feel like I should be part of the ace community, since I’m not ace, but I feel like they throw aros under the bus a lot. I mean, we’ve all seen the “asexuals can feel love, just like anybody else! … oh, except for aroaces, I guess. But the rest of us are normal, so you should accept us!” rhetoric. Both within and outside the aspec communities, aros are rarely treated with the same priority as aces, even though we’re arguably in a much more difficult position than your average allo ace.

That being said, I’m glad there is an aro community at all. I don’t know where I’d be now if I were still questioning. Probably not in a very good place.

How do you connect to your creative community as an aro-spec person?

As I mentioned, there’s a general lack of interest in gen fics or sympathy for romance-repulsed people in general. It’s really difficult being romance repulsed in fandom spaces, because nobody cares about anything other than ships. There are very few gen fics, and even less that are a decent length, not abandoned, or cater to my specific interests, so I have to write my own. I don’t often have anything good to read; most of the big fics, the ones with cool plots and long word counts and ongoing updates, are ship fics. If I’m lucky, maybe two gen fics will be posted in one week, and maybe one of them will be longer than a few thousand words. Maybe one might even have my favorite characters. But usually genfics are few and far between, and kind of random in terms of what you’ll get. Sometimes I get so bored that I read ship fics anyway, and then I always wind up feeling really awful afterwards.

I’ve written, over the course of the past two years alone, over 20 gen fics. But whenever I vent that sometimes I’d like to actually get to read something, I always get someone telling me, “Well if you want gen fics, write some yourself! You have to make the change! You can’t demand people write stuff for you!” And of course, at the same time it’s totally acceptable to request ship fics from your favorite author, and if you complain that there aren’t enough fics for your rarepair, it’s seen as relatable and totally valid.

Fandom is just … really, really amatonormative, tbh. I hate it. I’m trying to make a difference (I did organize Gen Jojo Week along with my friend Rachel last year, and hopefully will again this year), but there’s only so much I can do.

How can the aro-spec community best help you as a creative?

Aside from reblogging my art and promoting my fics? Talk about stuff. Talk about aro stuff in fandom. Seriously! I know it seems obvious that aro people would like aro headcanons and gen fics and all that, but we need to talk about them more. Nobody outside the community gives enough of a shit about us to have aro headcanons, so let’s get them popular. Talk about your favorite aro headcanons. Talk about your favorite gen fics. Talk about how such-and-such character is totally aro; talk about how excited you are to see aro characters in fics. My dream is for aro headcanons to become just as common and popular as any other type of headcanon.

Can you share with us something about your current project?

This is old news to most of the people who already know me, but my current big project that I’ve been working on for several years now is Between Life and Death, a drama/horror/supernatural JJBA fic.

(WARNING: PHANTOM BLOOD AND STARDUST CRUSADERS SPOILERS BELOW.)

The plot of the fic is that Dio wins at the end of Stardust Crusaders, and after realizing that he has no hobbies other than harassing the Joestars, he decides to bring Jonathan back by sticking his head (which… we’ll just assume Dio preserved for plot purposes) onto Jotaro’s body. Obviously, Jonathan is NOT happy with this arrangement, but it also turns out that Jotaro’s still alive, just not in control of his body. He can still use his stand, so he essentially uses Star Platinum as a sort of proxy for interacting with the environment around him, even though he only comes out when Jonathan’s alone since he doesn’t want Dio to know he’s alive.

Basically, it’s the story of a depressed vampire and a traumatized ghost. It’s a very introspective fic; most of the story consists of conflicts between Dio and Jonathan, and Jonathan and Jotaro struggling to come to terms with their new existences - Jonathan being unable to reconcile vampirism with his personal morals, and Jotaro having one hell of an identity crisis while also mourning the deaths of his friends and family. The plot is picking up, though, and there is an end goal in mind, as well as an eventual sequel!

As for where the story-in-progress is at right now … well, the next “stage” of the plot is hamon training for Kakyoin and Avdol, which will be fun. This chapter also includes several dream sequences, including an extended appearance by Mary Joestar (Jonathan’s mom), and a very serious and dark scene which I almost ruined by having dream!Will Zeppeli refer to Jonathan as his padawan. Yeah.

Have you any forthcoming works we should look forward to?

As mentioned, I’m working on chapter 9 of Between Life and Death! And working on and off on some stuff for the mutants AU. Most recently, on a whim I rewrote the lyrics to Handbeat Clocktower by MOTHY to be about Jonathan Joestar. Somehow this went far enough that I’m making an actual UTAU rendition of this “parody”, and hopefully it’ll be done sometime in the next few weeks. I’m really having fun with it and I hope people like it!