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caw4brandon · 3 years

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D&D: Magic of The Game

Anyone who is familiar with the title will already know what I will be talking about this Odin’s Wednesday. We’ll be talking about some Dungeons and Dragons (D&D)!

As a Chameleon of a number of communities. The world of D&D has been a subject that I hear a lot but am terribly new to. I see it referenced in various mediums and mentioned among friends who are board game enthusiasts but I never bothered to sink into. That was until I stumbled across this video from Fandom Entertainment about;

[Defeating Your Demons with D&D].

After that, I watched a few more videos related to D&D and, I got the general basics of the game itself, its history with religious communities and the people who played them but I don’t completely understand it. As in, I didn’t understand its appeal. How can a game about people role playing with a piece of paper, some dices and a simple figurine be so interesting? Why do you want to be an other worldly being? It felt strange to me.

All that being said, the idea felt oddly familiar. Like sore thumb, it stuck out to me as an odd thing but at the same time, it strangely fits in with the subjects I am quite versed in. Granted, I am, STILL new. I don’t know much about this stuff but, the internet IS helpful so...

[This is just for transition, Credits to JoCat]

- Welcome to a Crap Post to D&D -

Dungeons and Dragons is a tabletop role playing game that was founded by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson in 1974, published by Tactical Studies Rules, Inc. (TSR). It’s a board game hybrid that uses in-world based character sheets, action dices, imaginative immersion, a game master or, Dungeon Master and talking. Lots and lots of talking.

The DM’s duty in the game is to world-build, create scenarios, determine player outcomes, keep/ make/ break the rules and most importantly. Keep track and keep score of everything. Basically, the DM is the appointed nanny for Board Game Night. Meanwhile, the player’s role is to create a character, decide their course of action in said scenario and...just have fun.

If you look it up, you’ll notice that lots of celebrities have openly talked about and publicly played D&D. To name a few, there is Joe Manganiello, Matthew Mercer, Stephen Colbert, Chris Hardwick, Ashley Johnson, Terry Crews, Wil Wheaton and many more. Its a game that looks intimidating, sounds very complicated but generally easy to start.

As of today in 2021. D&D is making a comeback. From what I was told, the group; [Critical Role] is the biggest one currently leading the charge with live streaming sessions of D&D for about four to five hours. Granted, there are other streamers and creators who are also live streaming D&D or making content of D&D like the group; [Acquisitions Inc], the animators [Mr Ripper] and [Blaine Simple] and the wiggly crap guide, [JoCat]

- The Best of Both Worlds -

So, back to my question. Why do people like to imagine themselves as someone or rather, something else? Say, Person A - is from Texas, hates germs, smarter than everyone in his school but prefers to stay at home to read comic books and play video games.

(Wait...I just described Sheldon!)

Why would Person A want to be a, Level 30 Lizardman Mage with spells for days to kick ass, take names and be awesome? - By the way, I just made that up. I don’t really remember Sheldon’s actual D&D character.

Well, why wouldn’t you? Part of the charm in D&D is the ability to immerse yourself into a role YOU made to exist and function. Essentially, D&D provides some established set pieces and various species of beings to mix, match and play with. The world of D&D may have its own set of rules and regulations but the character is your creation.

Using the established “Race” and choosing a “Class” the player gets to decide the character’s personality, their history, the quirks and the in-world interactions they have with the other characters and the world itself. The player gets to go on epic adventures and make memories with their friends, all while sitting together in a room with their notes and their minds, wandering off to D&D Land.

With D&D, there is no desire to conclude the game or reach the end of the game but rather, there is the desire to keep going and uncover more about the world itself. While your decisions and conclusions are dictated by the roll of your dice and the various game mechanics (which I know very little about). The Player’s engagement to the game is what makes the world, the story, the character itself and the quests feel so real.

Back to Sheldon, I remember watching this one episode of The Big Bang Theory when the character, Bernadette was pregnant. She couldn’t eat and drink certain things, she felt like she was something fragile because she’s having a baby and she was upset. To cheer her up, Sheldon created a solo campaign of D&D that turned Bernadette into...well, [See for yourself]

For a moment in the scene, Bernadette became invested in the story. She happily engaged and jumped with excitement when she could do certain things as her character. While still her pregnant-self. Her character could, drink alcohol, eat sushi, watch her husband (Howard) suffer while being pregnant, be tall and other wishful thoughts.

Perhaps that is the other appeal of the game. This idea of living in two very different worlds is what makes the game fun. Your in-game character, the decisions you make, the story you partake in and the actions you do. They don’t affect the real world and yet, in some way. It lifts your spirit and gives freedom. In a strange twist, it did something...magical. According to some D&D enthusiast, the game also builds positive characteristics. Such as leadership, empathy, respect, understanding while also being your inner hero.

There is NO WRONG way to play D&D, there is only, A WAY to play D&D and regardless of the outcome, there is always the next turn. In fact, some say that D&D is a game that allows you to make mistakes but the mistake could also be a blessing in the long run. This game allows you to leap out of your limited human body and become the very character you wanted to be. Its the best of both worlds. You get to be yourself and you also get to be that desired someone at the same time.

To quote Judy Hopps: “Anyone can be Anything.”

- Heroes, Let’s Play! -

Like most things in pop culture, It has a fair share of good days and bad days when dealing with the general public. As a board game of make-believe with monsters, magical creatures and...demons. It sure has raised some eyebrows of the religious kind. But that was donkey’s years ago!

In today’s age, D&D has become a positive tool to help children, teens and adults to hang around and play with their friends and their imagination. Earlier, I mentioned Critical Role and the names of other D&D content creators that has made D&D accessible and simple to get into. What used to be a nerdy or geeky game has now been brought back from the dead with big and popular names in media as well as individuals from various identities joining hands to widen its spectrum. While it once was a Western phenomenon, is slowly building up to other parts of the world as we speak. My country included!

Remember how I said D&D felt odd and yet familiar? If you look at other shows/movies, board games and role playing video games. They, in some way fit in with that spectrum. The Anime, [Konosuba] is basically D&D but with some very unreliable and horribly incompetent players in a sitcom-like fashion. The teen drama, [Riverdale] featured an in-show D&D knockoff called, Gryphons and Gargoyles. With darker additions of drugs, gangs, killers and other angsty stuff! The movie, [The Guardians of The Galaxy] is just D&D IN SPACE!

Speaking of Space, there are also other types of board games that used the D&D mechanics with a bit of a theme change. Like say, Warhammer 40,000 - a Sci-Fi twist version of D&D, Mice & Mystics - is an easy to understand and easy to play game about fighting pests, Cyberpunk 2020 - is a dystopian cyber world, floating cars and all that.

Its a simple concept that, despite it once being banned has now gotten popular again as something good but still, why? Here’s the thing, if you take away the magic of D&D, the sets, the mini figures and strip it down to its core. D&D is basically a game of escape. To awaken your inner hero, anti-hero, edge lord, borderline villain and so much more to be a different YOU without any worries and any judgement.

D&D has helped people in its own special way. It allows people a chance to be unique and it feels, cathartic. For some of us, we are bound to something and that something hold us back. D&D breaks that, it may still be a fantasy game that exists in only our heads but its a game that transcends past itself and beyond. A world that is constantly developing and makes hanging out with people to be a little bit more...interesting and its right there. Waiting...

With all that in mind, the table is set and now...its [YOUR Turn to Roll!]

And with that, comes the end of another post. I...hope I did this topic justice and I hope that you enjoy it. Also just a final note, with the world still being on FIRE right now, you might be interested in trying D&D. If you don’t have the game, don’t worry. Its available to play online. Keep in mind, you DO have to register for an account.

[Link here] and [Link here].

Also, my posts have been quite hit and miss lately. (as it always does B, who are you even trying to impress?!) So I’m thinking, every Odin’s Wednesday might have to cut based on the response but hey, I won’t force you to like it or re-blog it or do anything. This is still just a hobby. Anyways, till the next post...

Thanks for reading

- B -

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mylittleredgirl · 4 years

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normally behind the scenes stuff freaks me the heck out but the ready room for lower decks is DELIGHTFUL. i think because they’re voice actors it doesn’t cause whatever cognitive dissonance usually breaks my brain, but anyway,

i shed a tear when tawny newsome said nothing shaped her more than star trek and it brought her family together

eugene cordero realizing live in front of us that he’s part of the star trek legacy

noël wells sounding exactly the same as tendi in real life just talking, while saying tendi sounds nothing like her

also tawny newsome talking about hoping mariner & freeman are continuing the sisko legacy in their own way

wil wheaton’s home recording studio is an amazon prime box full of towels

jack quaid and tawny newsome LITERALLY NOT KNOWING, UNTIL THEY SAT DOWN AT THE TABLE READ that they were the main characters

because they weren’t bridge officers they thought they were nonessential side characters and just happy to be there how perfect is that

i will never not love wil wheaton geeking out about how happy he was to be promoted to ensign as wesley crusher and how proud he was of his starfleet uniform

every instrument in the orchestral score was recorded separately in lockdown

mike macmahon is KING NERD i love him he must be protected

the entirety of season 2 has already been written!!!

#lower decks #star trek

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crowdvscritic · 3 years

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round up // MARCH + APRIL 21

March and April were a whirlwind of vaccines and awards shows! A full year after we starting staying at home, the end of this weird chapter in recent history seems like it might finally be coming to a close, and this pop culture awards season—typically a time full of fun and glamour—captured our moment weirdly well. (Emphasis on the weird.) This month’s recommendations is filled with more Critic Picks than usual, so without further delay, let’s dive right in...

March + April Crowd-Pleasers

Double Feature — 2018 Action Thrillers: Bad Times at the El Royale + Den of Thieves

In Bad Times at the El Royale (Crowd: 9/10, // Critic: 8/10), Jeff Bridges, Cynthia Erivo, Jon Hamm, Chris Hemsworth, and Dakota Johnson are staying at a motel on the California-Nevada state line full of money, murder, and mystery. In Den of Thieves (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6.5/10), Gerard Butler takes on some of the best bank robbers in the world. Whether you like your action with a dose of mystery or the thrills of plot twists, these will fit the bill.

Double Feature — ‘80s Comedies: Caddyshack (1980) + Splash (1984)

In the mood for pure silliness? Take your pick between a mermaid and a gopher! Five years before The Little Mermaid, Tom Hanks fell for Daryl Hannah’s blonde hair and scaly tail, and John Candy was his goofy brother in Splash (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10). And four years before Ghostbusters, Bill Murray was the goof on a golf course full of funny people like Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, and Ted Knight in Caddyshack (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10).

Double Feature — 1980s Coming-of-Age Films Starring Corey Feldman, Kiefer Sutherland, and Challenging Brother Relationships That Influenced Stranger Things: Stand by Me (1986) + The Lost Boys (1987)

Believe it or not, I had no idea these two ‘80s classics had so much in common when I chose to watch them back-to-back. In Rob Reiner’s adaptation of Stephen King’s Stand by Me (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10), four kids (Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, River Phoenix, and Wil Wheaton) are following train tracks to find a missing body. In The Lost Boys (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10), Corey Haim and Jason Patric move to a small California town and discover it’s full of ‘80s movie star cameos and…vampires? One is a thoughtful coming-of-age story and one is just bonkers, but both are a great time.

Spaceman by Nick Jonas (2021)

My love for the Jonas Brothers is well-documented, so instead of going down the rabbit hole I started digging at 15, I’ll talk about how Nick Jonas’s latest solo album will likely appeal to a wider audience than just the fans of the brothers’ bombastic pop records. It’s full of catchy tunes you’ll play on repeat and an R&B-influenced album experience about the loneliness we’ve experienced in the last year and how we try to make long-term relationships work.

Ted Lasso (2020- )

I love stories about nice people crushing cruelty and cynicism with relentless kindness, and Ted Lasso (Jason Sudeikis) is the warmest, most dedicated leader this side of Leslie Knope. Be sure to catch up on these witty and sweet 10 episodes before season 2 drops later this summer.

Double Feature — Tony Scott Action Flicks: Enemy of the State (1998) + The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009)

Tony Scott’s movies have got explosions and excitement in spades. I love a good man-on-the-run movie, and in Enemy of the State (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10), Will Smith is running through the streets of D.C. after getting evidence of a politician’s (Jon Voight) part in a murder. I also love a tense story set in a confined space, which is what Denzel Washington is dealing with in The Taking of Pelham 123 (Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) after a hammy John Travolta takes a New York subway train hostage.

Double Feature — Baseball Movies: The Natural (1984) + Trouble With the Curve (2012)

Sue me—I love baseball movies. Robert Redford plays a fictional all-time great in the early days of the MLB in The Natural (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10), and Clint Eastwood plays a fictional all-time great scout in his late career in Trouble With the Curve (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7.5/10). If you love baseball or actors like Amy Adams, Glenn Close, Robert Duvall, and Justin Timberlake, these movies are just right here waiting for you.

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Nate Bargatze: The Greatest Average American (2021)

Sue me—I enjoy Netflix standup comedy specials that are safe enough to watch with your whole family. That’s exactly the crowd I laughed with over Easter weekend, and while the trailer captures Bargatze’s relaxed vibe, it doesn’t capture how funny he really is.

The Mighty Ducks (1992)

I thought somewhere in my childhood I’d seen at least one of The Mighty Ducks movies, but after watching all three, I think my memories must’ve come from previews on the VHS tapes for other Disney movies I watched over and over again. The original still holds up as an grown-ups, which is why even my parents got sucked in to this family movie while just passing through the living room. Bonus for ‘80s movies lovers: Emilio Estevez is basically continuing Andrew Clark’s story from The Breakfast Club as an adult. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

Double Feature — New, Dumb Action on Streaming: Godzilla vs. Kong + Thunder Force (2021)

If you want something intelligent, go ahead and skip to the next recommendation, but if you’re looking for something stupid fun, these are ready for you on HBO Max and Netflix. Thunder Force (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6/10) follows Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer as they train to become superheroes who take on superhuman sociopaths wreaking havoc on Chicago, and alongside Jason Bateman, they do it with a lot of laughs. Godzilla vs. Kong (Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 5/10) is, um, exactly what it sounds like, so I’ll skip a plot summary and just say it’s exactly what you want from this kind of movie. #TeamKong

3:10 to Yuma (2007)

All you need to know is Russell Crowe is an outlaw, and Christian Bale is the guy who’s got to get him on the train to prison. I also watched the 1957 version, which is also a solid watch if you love classic Westerns. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)

Marvel’s newest series isn’t nearly as inventive as WandaVision, and it may not land every beat, but it’s worth a watch for the fun new gadgets, Sebastian Stan’s dry joke delivery, and its exploration into themes of what makes a hero and what governments owe their citizens. It’s a pretty satisfying entry in the MCU canon, but I’d also recommend re-watching Captain America: Winter Soldier and Civil War—the canon is getting expansive, and it’s getting trickier every year to keep up with all the backstory.

March + April Critic Picks

Best of 2020 Picks

As per usual, the months leading up to the Oscars becomes a binge period for potential Oscar nominees. In March and April, I watched many of the films that made my Top 20 of 2020, including Boys State, The Father, Judas and the Black Messiah, Let Them All Talk, Minari, Nomadland, On the Rocks, One Night in Miami…, Promising Young Woman, Soul, and Sound of Metal. You can read how I ranked them on my list for ZekeFilm, plus reviews of The Father, Minari, Promising Young Woman, and Soul.

Bonus: If you loved On the Rocks, don’t miss this feature and beautiful photography starring Sofia Coppola, Kirsten Dunst, Elle Fanning, and Rashida Jones for W Magazine.

Stranger Than Fiction (2006)

What would you do if you started hearing a voice who narrated your every thought and move? If you’re Will Ferrell, you’ll seek out a literary professor (Dustin Hoffman), fall in love (with Maggie Gyllenhaal), and track down the voice (Emma Thompson) who’s making ominous predictions about your future. Stranger Than Fiction is funny thought-provoking, and an unusual but welcome role for Ferrell. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

All the Royal Family News

Speaking of stranger than fiction, it’s been a busy few months for the Royal Family. We’ve celebrated 95th birthday of Queen Elizabeth, the 3rd birthday of Prince Louis, and the 10th anniversary of Will and Kate’s marriage. We also lost Prince Philip, and we watched the drama of Harry and Meaghan’s interview with Oprah. No matter what happens to their Crown, I don’t think we’ll ever get over our fascination with the Windsor family. A few pieces worth reading from the last few months:

“In Meghan and Harry’s Interview, Two TV Worlds Collided,” Vulture.com

“The Queen’s Man: Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, Dies,” TIME.com

“Obituary: HRH The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh,” BBC.com

Goodfellas (1990)

One of my film opinions that makes me feel like a phony is that Martin Scorsese just isn’t my cup of tea. He’s brilliant, but his films tend to be long and dark, two qualities that are never my first choice…and somehow Goodfellas still worked for me? Maybe it was the TV edit graciously toning down the violence or maybe it was that Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci were firing on all cylinders, but for some reason this ‘90s classic didn’t suck the joy out of my evening like Scorsese often does. (Bonus: For a Martin Scorsese/Robert De Niro I don’t really recommend, head to the last section of this Round Up.)

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Fearless (Taylor’s Version) (2021)

Her voice has only matured, so Taylor Swift revisiting her old albums is like upgrading a blast to the past. Plus, the six new tracks make me feel like 15 crushing on that boy in Spanish class again, and her Grammys performance (just before her third Album of the Year win) was magical and folklore-tastic.

Double Feature — ‘60s Action Classics: The Guns of Navarone (1961) + Planet of the Apes (1968)

The Guns of Navarone (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) follows Gregory Peck and David Niven as they destroy Nazi weapons in the Mediterranean. Planet of the Apes (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) follows Charlton Heston as he attempts to escape from, well, a planet full of apes. The pacing of ‘60s films doesn’t always hold up, but that’s not the case with this pair. Both are still full of suspense, and you can’t go wrong hanging with casts like these.

Let Him Go (2020)

Kevin Costner and Diane Lane play a farming couple who unexpectedly help raise a boy who lost his biological father—sound familiar? But instead of a superhero origin story, they’re part of a thrilling Western with performances nuanced (Costner and Lane) and showy (Lesley Manville). If I’d watched this before completing my Best of 2020 piece, it likely would’ve been on my list. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

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The Oscars

I’m a ride-or-die fan of the Academy Awards, but I’ll admit even I found this year’s ceremony odd. Instead of focusing on what wasn’t so hot, I’ll recommend a few moments you don’t want to miss:

Emerald Fennell giving a shout-out to Saved by the Bell

Daniel Kaluuya acknowledging his parents’ sex life during his acceptance speech (??)

Yuh-Jung Yoon flirting with Brad Pitt and acknowledging she’s just “luckier” than her fellow nominees

Glenn Close dancing to…”Da Butt”?

You can also read about the historic wins and nominations from this year’s Oscar class and why the Golden Globes were an even stranger production weeks earlier.

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Trailer-palooza!

Movies are on their way back, y’all! I’m counting down the days until I can get back to a theatre, and even if some of these movies are duds, I’m planning to see all of them on a big screen if possible:

Those Who Wish Me Dead (May 14)

Cruella (May 28)

In the Heights (June 11)

Space Jam 2 (July 16)

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (September 3)

West Side Story (December 10)

Also in March + April…

To add to the Oscars love, you can listen to a conversation about what we learn about family, community, and society in some of the year’s biggest nominees on the Uncommon Voices podcast. I join regular hosts Michael and Kenneth in this episode, and I recommend all of their thoughtful discussions on their “What’s Streaming” episodes.

I’ve previously recommended the Do You Like Apples weekly newsletter, so I’m proud to share I contributed twice in March! I wrote about Love and Basketball, directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, and one of my all-time favorite Julia Roberts rom-coms, Notting Hill. (I also tied to win their Oscars pool, but I suppose that’s less exciting for you than me.)

It was a busy couple of months on SO IT’S A SHOW! New logo, new email list, new Instagram, and a host of new episodes about a flop of a Madonna flick, a Swedish children’s TV show, an urban legend turned into a horror movie, one of the best films about journalism ever, and a Martin Scorsese movie about a real boxer.

Most of what I wrote for ZekeFilm in March and April was mentioned in Best of 2020 recommendations…except for The Nest, a film that couldn’t figure out what genre it wanted to be.

Photo credits: Nick Jonas, Royal Family. All others IMDb.com.

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thelittleredheadedmusician · 3 years

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My job is mainly costumer service + data entry so when not doing costumer service it’s LOTS of data entry & I get bored. So, I listen to podcasts. Which explains A Lot of the recent content. I’ve gone thru Many. Many. And cycle thru even more. My mom has taken to asking me what show I listened to as part of the “how was your day at work? Did you learn anything?” questions that greet me upon coming home. Which is kinda nice. She thinks some of them are just weird, which they are & I tell her as much, but she’s delighted by what I’ve told her of Wooden Overcoats. Which she should be, it’s very far up her alley & she’d watch the hell out of it if it were a tv show. Today she was asking me lots of questions about the different shows & I mentioned that some are really popular “I mean, Nightvale’s been running since like 2012 & Wil Wheaton is on it sometimes.” & that lots have ads & they’re mostly funded thru fan support but they also sell merch “there was even a guy who came up to my register the other week wearing a Magnus Archives shirt. We had a chat about it & everything.” To which she said “really?” And I said “yeah! Actually, if you want to get me a non comics Christmas present this year Magnus merch would be really cool.” She kinda wrinkled her nose cause “that’s the horror one right? It sounds really creepy. Is that your favorite one?” Which made me think. Is it my favorite? I love it & have favorite characters & even a favorite episode but is it my favorite? Then my mom adds “do you have a favorite?” Did I? I’ve caught up on Greater Boston & it delights me to No End even though I couldn’t coherently tell you the plot. See the earlier Magnus thoughts. Unseen is some excellent urban fantasy/magical realism. But yeah, I do have a favorite: “Wooden Overcoats. I think my favorite would have to be Wooden Overcoats.” “Do they have things? Because that one seems very you. I mean, funeral homes.” “Uh, yeah mugs & shirts.” “You have too many of both of those. No more mugs. No more t shirts.” “I’ll have to look?” “Do that.” So yeah. I think my mom is gonna get me something Wooden Overcoats themed for Christmas. This is just a really long winded way of saying that. Cause I’m in a weird headspace. And wanted to tell a story. The proper way, filled with dramatic irony & pacing. May not have achieved that but hey you’re on tumblr, what do you expect? Besides you’re still reading this for SOME reason, it must have been entertaining enough to stave off at least a bit of your boredom.

#personal

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braincoins · 3 years

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10 . 16 .23 . 38. 52

Okay, okay, I’m awake now. LET’S DO THIS THING! [rubs hands together]

10. What shoe size are you? Wow, I didn’t expect that question in there. I really didn’t! I know I sent you some to answer, but I just kind of scan for questions that jump out at me and are interesting.

I’m tempted to quote Steel Magnolias and leave it at that (”In a good shoe, I wear a size 6, but a 7 feels so good, I buy a size 8.” “They’re 8 and a halfs.” “PERFECT!”), but that seems like a cop out. SEEMS like it, but honestly? I usually am an 8.5 (US women’s sizes which is a 39 in EU sizes).

16. Favorite movie? Ooooooooooh, both my favorite and least favorite question of all time! Because it’s so hard to just pick one!! Um, Aliens for sure. The Princess Bride. The first Matrix. (Well, The Matrix, but you know what I mean.) 1776. Frozen (again, the first one). Little Shop of Horrors, Event Horizon, and Anna and the Apocalypse is moving its way up the charts.

Sci-fi horror, musicals, animation, for the most part.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? At cons, sure. I’ve stood in line for autographs from Rob Paulsen, Jess Harnell, Tress MacNeille, Jamie Bamber, Phil Foglio, Wil Wheaton, Felicia Day, Sandeep Parikh, Jeff Lewis, Robin Thorsen, Nathan Fillion, Sir Patrick Stewart, Bruce Campbell, Ron Glass, Edward James Olmos, Mira Furlan, and Mark Sheppard. Got a picture taken with the Dead Gentlemen and got their autographs on my copy of The Gamers and on a The Gamers: Dorkness Rising poster. Got autographed sketches from Lars De Souza and Kaja Foglio. And I’ve emailed a little bit with Mike McMahan, creator of “Star Trek: Lower Decks” and had a quick online chat with Kimberly Brooks. Haven’t paid extra for any meet-and-greets because I am an extremely anxious fangirl who will make a fool out of herself.

Turns out if you pay money (for con badge and autograph fees), it’s actually really easy to meet celebs and get their autographs (and then, if you’re like me, cradle the freshly-autographed glossy carefully as you run off to squee and fall apart).

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? Well, it wasn’t entirely without sleep, but... I had heard about this show, “The Walking Dead.” It sounded awesome af. Pengy asked me to go wait in line for him to buy whatever the latest tech toy was that he wanted, and while I was there, I noticed a season 1 set of TWD. So I grabbed that, too. I was so excited to get home and start watching.

I watched the pilot. It was every bit as good as I’d hoped... and it also terrified the shit out of me. I spent a good 3 days sleeping in bits and pieces. I think I got a few hours tops in that time. Every sound had me convinced there were zombies coming down the hall to get me, and I simply could not look out the apartment peephole. O_O

If you want to get technical, I know I’ve made it past 24 hours without any sleep at all, but I don’t think I’ve gone all the way to 48.

52. Favorite food? Ohhhhh the favorites strike again! Um. I want to say things like “hibachi filet and shrimp” or whatever, but, lbr: it’s pizza. It’s pepperoni pizza.

Get to Know Me Uncomfortably Well

#wildestheart4ever

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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Upcoming Horror Movies in September 2020: Theaters, Streaming, and VOD

https://ift.tt/2DAWlXd

As our esteemed Film Editor David Crow has said elsewhere, movies are back — but in a sense they’ve never really gone away. New original films have been popping up via streaming and video-on-demand all throughout the reign of the coronavirus, and they continue to do so even as theaters begin to reopen and the studios slowly start to fill them with new releases as well.

The operative word here is “slow”: we’re not seeing a deluge of new films anywhere — the big or small screen — but there is a steady flow of them nonetheless, and as is often the case, horror leads the way. Below is a round-up of fresh horror releases coming your way (or there already) in the US and UK, available either at your local multiplex (and we urge you to keep the risks of going to the theater in mind) or right in your living room. Hopefully, unlike the real world, some of the scares below are fun.

20th Century Studios

The New Mutants

Out in theaters now in the US and UK

Yes, technically, The New Mutants is an X-Men movie and the last entry in what was once 20th Century Fox’s (RIP) extended Marvel X-Men Universe. But director Josh Boone set out to place his young mutants in a horror setting, and while reviews are mixed, comparisons to A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors have been tossed around. It arrived in US theaters on August 28 and in the UK just this past weekend.

RLJE Films

The Owners

Out now on VOD

Game of Thrones star Maisie Williams not only toplines The New Mutants but she also stars here as the girlfriend of a trio of lads who decide to rob the home of a wealthy doctor (one-time Doctor Who Time Lord Sylvester McCoy) and his wife (Rita Tushingham). Once the young scoundrels get inside the house, however, the seemingly doddering couple apparently prove to have some hidden, deadly talents. We’re getting a Don’t Breathe vibe from this original thriller by first-time feature director Julius Berg.

Dark Star Pictures

Koko-Di, Koko-Da

Streaming in the UK on September 7

As a shattered couple still reeling from the loss of their little daughter embark on a camping trip that takes them into a horrific time loop/killing box, they find themselves at the mercy of demonic fairy tale-like beings — the very manifestation of their grief, tormenting them over and over again in nightmarishly surreal fashion. We saw this Danish/Swedish co-production last year and were rattled by its combination of spine-chilling imagery, sadistic terror and parental loss.

Signature Entertainment

Two Heads Creek

On VOD in the UK from September 7

Following the death of their adoptive mother, a shy butcher (Stephen Hunter from the Hobbit trilogy) and his overly dramatic sister (All is True’s Kathryn Wilder) journey to Australia to find their real mom. Their quest leads them to the small, delightfully named town of Two Heads Creek, where the siblings make it just in time for dinner. Hey, we can always use a good cannibal horror-comedy at a time when one wonders if the food supply chain is going to break down anytime soon…

Dark Star Pictures

Entwined

Out in the US via VOD on September 8

Panos (Prometheus Aleifer), a city doctor, relocates his practice to a remote village and quickly falls for Danae (Anastasia Rafaella Konidi), who lives in isolation with a mysterious skin condition. Determined to find Danae a cure, Panos discovers her dark secret and that all — surprise, surprise — is not what it seems. A folk horror tale steeped in local mythology from first-time feature director Minos Nikolakakis.

Movies

Upcoming Movies in September 2020: Theaters, Streaming, and VOD

By David Crow and 1 other

Movies

The Best Horror Movies to Watch on Shudder

By Rosie Fletcher

IFC Midnight

Rent-A-Pal

In select theaters and VOD on September 11

Wesley Crusher is back! Wil Wheaton (Star Trek: The Next Generation) stars in this satirical thriller, in which a lonely bachelor named David (Brian Landis Folkins), tasked with caring for his elderly mother but desperate for companionship, discovers a strange VHS tape (this is set in 1990) called Rent-A-Pal. The host is the “charming and charismatic” Andy (Wheaton), whose friendship comes at a chilling cost. Does that include watching infamous TNG episodes like “The Game” and “The Dauphin”?

Shudder

Spiral

Available for streaming on Shudder on September 17

Described by Wicked Horror as the most “intelligently conceived take on queer horror…to date,” Spiral stars Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman and Ari Cohen as a couple who move to a small town in an effort to find a better quality of life for themselves and their 16-year-old daughter. But despite a nice welcome from the neighbors, nothing is what it seems and sinister forces gather against the two men. Kurtis David Harder directs this genre exploration of societal rejection, ostracization and hate (this is not related, by the way, to the Saw spin-off/sequel still awaiting release).

Vertical Entertainment

No Escape aka Follow Me (UK)

Available on VOD and in theaters in the US on September 18

A social media star (Keegan Allen) and his friends head to Moscow for their latest online stunt, but soon find themselves the victims of grisly, livestreamed tortures inside a hidden chamber of horrors. We detect whiffs of Saw, Hostel and, yes, Escape Room here. Oddly enough, director Will Wernick made a movie called Escape Room in 2017 — not to be confused with the 2019 horror hit of the same name. This one sounds like it’s for fans of watching loud, obnoxious young people die in painful agony.

Magnet

Alone

Available on VOD and in theaters in the US on September 18

John Hyams (who helmed the last two Universal Soldier movies and is the son of 2010 director Peter Hyams) directs this thriller starring Jules Willcox (Netflix’s Bloodline). The latter plays Jessica, a grief-stricken widow who leaves the city and heads into the countryside to cope with the loss of her husband. But things take a turn for the worse when she is kidnapped and locked in a cabin in the Pacific Northwest by a mysterious man, who pursues her after she escapes into the wilderness. We’re sure there’s a twist or two in there somewhere to keep viewers on their toes…

Matt Kennedy/Lionsgate

Antebellum

Available on VOD in the US on September 18

Originally scheduled for theatrical release earlier this year, Antebellum has been the source of speculation around its mysterious time travel plot and provocative concept of putting modern woman Janelle Monae back into the Deep South in the mid-1800s. Positioned as a genre take on racism in the vein of recent successes like Get Out and Us, Antebellum has sadly lost some momentum due to weak advance reviews; but we still want to see it ourselves, mainly for Monae and to see how directors Gerard Bush and Christopher Renz pull off the film’s secretive twists.

The post Upcoming Horror Movies in September 2020: Theaters, Streaming, and VOD appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3jV6fm0

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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darklingichor · 4 years

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Redshirts A Novel with Three Codas by John Scalzi

There are a handful of books that literally make me laugh and cry. Off the top of my head, they have all been Christopher Moore novels. A few of those are also books that I tend to recomemnd to anyone who I have known for over five minutes, but haven't written about. Considering I like analyzing stuff, I can't really say why I haven't, except... And this is going to sound needlessly dramatic, but I can't think of another way to say it...

You ever read a book, watch a movie or listen to a song that you not only love, but it's almost like it interweaves it's way into your soul?

That's what those books are to me and its kinda hard to analyze something that close to you.

Those books are as follows

Lamb

Fool

The Serpent of Venice

I can revisit these stories over and over and never get tired of them. Lamb is my go-to on my kindle app if I am out of new stuff or I forgot my current book at home. I re-read Fool and The Serpent of Venice probably once a year, but the audible books are in rotation for when I am short a credit and need something to listen to.

I think Redshirts by John Scalzi will be added to the list.

This one I'm going to write about because that's the project I have laid out for myself.

I’m basically applying Newton’s First Law of Motion to my creativity

A writer writing stays writing. So whether it’s this, my simple episodic story, my pain-in-the-ass universe, or an overly descriptive grocery list, I write something multiple times a day. Keeps me sane in a job where my most challenging task is trying to find my little rubber finger thing so I can turn pages faster.

Anyway, Redshirts.

I listened to this one, the narrator was Wil Wheaton.

A word about the narration. I really enjoyed it, I personally think that Wheaton got the tone of the book down pat with his reading. Scalzi tends to end every line of dialogue with “he said/she said” which may slide by when reading, but does get a little monotonous when listening.

[Edit, I originally said that most of the characters sounded the same. I have listened to it again and I realize this isn't true. There is tone and inflection that makes it clear who is speaking, and that's what a good voice actor and narrator does. I think I said that because while I was listening the first time, I kept getting interrupted for long stretches of time and didn't back up enough to get me back into the scene. I have deleted what I said because it wasn't a fair commetary.]

None of that tarnished the book for me.

I read it because I loved the idea of the cannon fodder for sci-fi shows realizing that they were expendable and not liking it one bit.

I expected to laugh, which I did, a lot. All of our main redshirts are smart and quick-witted, which makes you want them to figure out a way to avoid their fate. Ensign Andy Dahl who is our main perspective, is written in such a way that his snark is balanced nicely with enough openmindedness and critical thinking to accept and act upon the fact that he and his friends are in a cheesy sci-fi show where they are expected to die a ridiculous death either as a part of the action or to give the main cast some emotional drama to work off of. What I didn't expect was the complexity of the story. I thought it was going to be like the whole universe was a show and the writer was God writing for an unknown audience. I figured that the characters would simply try to find a way to survive and until the writer decided to "cancel" the show and everyone would blink out of existence. Yeah, I was expecting something pretty grim...

In reality, the whole crew of the Intrepid answers the question "What are characters doing when we're not watching?" And just how different it is from when we are. The character's focus is not to outwit tv logic until their series ends. It is to make their lives their own, period.

While they work it out we get a lot of hijinks and fun but we also get a lot of bittersweet moments, some pretty weighty philosophical questions (that are presented without being obnoxious) and one simply heartbreaking arch.

This book also has me eating my words. I said a couple entries back that using the second person outside of a choose your own adventure book is pretentious. I also said that switching between second and third perspectives is jarring.

Welp, I was wrong (happens often, I'm comfortable with it).

As the title suggests, the novel is followed up by three parts that conclude three storylines that either resulted from the events of the story or concludes elements left open at the end of the main novel.

The novel itself is told in the third person.

The first coda is told in the first

The second in the second

The third in the third.

I'll be honest, when the narration switched in the second coda, I was at listening at work and I had to catch myself before I said "Oh for fuck sake, again?"

I hated this perspective shift in The Night Circus so much that it made me cringe to encounter it again.

Honestly, the second person has always been mildly unsettling to me even in CYOA. It's a strangely disconnected feeling to be addressed as the character I am reading and being told what I am doing, and when I usually read it, it is being used in a way that is suppose to be "high concept" it is really pretentious. That combination just annoys me.

In Redshirts, it works for me. It is still mildly unsettling, but it makes sense to be that character at that point and feel unsettled.

Basically what I'm saying is that this book is wonderfully written with vivid characters, humor and drama combined in a story that gets and holds interest. In my humble and so not professional opinion, it is nearly perfect.

If you like funny stories I think you'll like this one.

#book #books #redshirts #john scalzi #five #book blogging 2020

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cheshirelibrary · 5 years

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Listeners Share Their All-Time Favorite Audiobooks (And Why They Love Them!)

[via BookBub]

In celebration of Audiobook Month this June, we asked readers to recommend their all-time favorite audiobooks. And whether you’re a long-time listener or are interested in delving into this format for the first time, this list is sure to have a great audiobook recommendation for you.

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion, narrated by Dan O’Grady.

Dan O’Grady masterfully narrates The Rosie Project, capturing and adding to the novel’s charm and hilarity

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens, narrated by Cassandra Campbell.

Accomplished voice actor Cassandra Campbell brings the Carolina coast and its inhabitants to life with her down-home Southern drawl that lifts the story right off the page.

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline, narrated by Wil Wheaton.

The real world of 2045 is harsh and unforgiving, so Wade spends his life in Oasis, a virtual realm. Wil Wheaton’s narration adds another layer of theater to this story, and the added sound effects suck you right into the world of Oasis.

The Help by Kathryn Stockett, narrated by Jenna Lamia, Bahni Turpin, Octavia Spencer, and Cassandra Campbell.

This audiobook plays like one of the great radio shows of old, thanks to the vocal talents of top-notch narrators who easily capture the Southern-bred determination of their characters.

A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin, narrated by Roy Dotrice.

At almost 34 hours, this is a mammoth audiobook. Roy Dotrice seems to have an endless supply of voices in his repertoire, and does an amazing job inhabiting each role he undertakes.

Cinder by Marissa Meyer, narrated by Rebecca Soler.

Classic fairytales are retold in this clever science fiction series. Voice actor Rebecca Soler does a fantastic job of creating unique heroines, nailing the accents of woman coming from different backgrounds.

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, narrated by Neil Gaiman.

Author Gaiman narrates, and his richly textured voice adds to the eeriness of the text. You’ll feel yourself swept into the subterranean labyrinth of the novel and you won’t want to leave.

The Museum of Extraordinary Things by Alice Hoffman, narrated by Judith Light, Grace Gummer and Zach Appelman.

This is an intensely beautiful romance set during a turbulent time in history. The collected group of narrators captures the smooth, sultry magic underlying Hoffman’s writing, and create a spellbinding rendition of this very special novel.

...

Click through to see more titles.

#cheshire library #audiobook month #audiobooks #favorite audiobooks #audiobook appreciation month

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snakebitcat · 5 years

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Review: Rerun: 5-25-77

The 42nd anniversary of the day that the Star Wars saga began, rather than rite a new review, I decided to repost an old one. Enjoy!

May the 40th Anniversary Be With You

“It’s not about what you love; it’s about how you love it. So there’s going to be a thing in your life that you love. I don’t know what it’s going to be. It might be sports or science or reading or telling stories — it doesn’t matter what it is. The way you love that thing and how you find other people who love it the way you do is what makes being a nerd awesome ... Some of us love completely different things. But we all love those things so much that we travel thousands of miles — which is probably easy for you, but we’re still using fossil fuels, so it’s difficult — to be around people who love the things that we love the way that we love them. That’s why being a nerd is awesome. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that thing that you love is a thing that you can’t love.”

-Wil Wheaton, Calgary Comic Expo, 2013

Artists are inspired by the artists that came before them, and inspire other artists in turn. When George Lucas saw Akira Kurosawa’s The Hidden Fortress, it inspired him to create Star Wars. When Patrick Read Johnson saw 2001: A Space Odyssey, it inspired him to use his father’s 8mm movie camera to create his own movies. And then in March or April of 1977, their stories intersected in a way that changed Patrick’s life forever.

Forty years later, Johnson brings us 5-25-77, a coming-of-age story about his experiences that he wrote and directed. He began working on it, appropriately enough, in 2001, and was able to show a rough cut of it in 2007 to celebrate Star Wars’ 30th anniversary, but it took him another decade to complete the project. The final result has proven to be more than worth the wait.

Patrick (Freaks and Geeks alum John Francis Daley) is a nerdy kid living in a time that was not kind to nerdy kids. In 1977, his mother Janet (Colleen Camp) calls Herb Lightman (the always perfect Austin Pendleton) to tell him about her son’s love of and gift for making movies, and Pendleton agrees that if Patrick can get to LA, he will arrange a meeting with Douglas Trumbull (Michael Pawlak), whose effects work on 2001 were what inspired Patrick to pick up his camera.

While touring Trumbull’s production studio, Patrick becomes the first person to see Star Wars that hasn’t worked on it. Then he returns home, and has to decide whether he will stay in rural Illinois or leave home for Hollywood.

One scene that particularly resonated with me was the one when Patrick nerds the hell out in front of a group of his classmates, giving a summary of everything that happens in Star Wars complete with sound effects and gestures acting out what the characters did. After he finishes, one of them asks him “What are you on?” Watching this unfold reminded me of how I used to do that (before my family got a VCR, my parents would ask me to watch shows they had to miss so I could do this for them), and of how, when I chose the wrong audience for it, I’d just get blank stares or sarcastic remarks. We’ve all had our moments when we love something so much that we want to show somebody why. And if you’ve ever read the comments on, well, anything really, you’ve seen that we’ve all had somebody who will bypass merely not sharing your appreciation and instead just take shots at you.

But there will also be people who get it, and get you, and even if they don’t end up loving the thing that you love they will at least understand that it brought you joy, and be happy about the fact that you’re happy about something.

There’s so much more in 5-25-77 that I could tell you about – a shot of one of Patrick’s eyes while he watches a plane taking off from the local airport which conveys his sense of wonder in the way the plane’s lights are reflected in his pupil is a perfect moment of beauty, for example – but you deserve the same chance to discover them by watching them happen that I got.

5-25-77 is the best movie I’ve seen so far this year. If at all possible go with a friend, like I did, because if you enjoy it half as much as I did then you’ll want to have somebody to nerd the hell out with over it afterward.

And in closing, I’d like to give thanks to some of the people who inspired me:

Siskel and Ebert, who gave me my first lessons in how to give a movie the review that it deserves.

Lindsay Ellis, whose video The Smurfette Principle introduced me to the world of internet critics.

And the critics I used to share a site with. I loved working with you there, and wish you all the best.

Snakebitcat also used to be the remote control for his family’s TV before his parents finally bought a set that came with one. Good times.

#grumpy old manchild #reviews #5-25-77 #star wars #42 #the answer to life the universe and everything

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thats-what-sidhe-said · 5 years

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Voltron Actor AU

This fic’s going to be a little meta and a little salty. (A little?) Though TBH, in the saltiest bits I wasn’t thinking of Voltron. (Fuck Blood Ties so much. So, so much.)

Previous part here. This is all super rough. I’m just kind of going with it.

---

It was two weeks later when Sanda, the showrunner, called the entire main cast in for a meeting. "I've just come from a meeting with the network!" she said exuberantly. The cast - Shiro, Keith, Allura, Lance, Pidge and Hunk - looked at each other.

"Are you sure?" Hunk asked carefully. "You don't usually look like that after you've talked to the network."

"I know," Sanda said. "But I've got excellent news. They have agreed to have a gay character on the show."

"Wow, that's great!" Shiro said, and the others agreed.

"I did have to make a few concessions," Sanda admitted.

"A gay character," Keith said warily.

Sanda nodded. "I'm sorry, Keith. Sven and Akira would make a good pairing, but the network's nervous. It'll be Sven. We'll introduce a romance with a new character and reveal his sexuality as a part of the story. Shiro, I assume this won't be a problem?"

"Not at all," Shiro said. "I'm proud to be a part of this. We're breaking new ground."

Keith nodded. He sank back in his chair and swallowed his disappointment. "Yeah, this is good," he said honestly. "It's great, Sanda. Thanks for fighting for us."

"I know how much this means to you," Sanda said. She took a deep breath. "Because of this, we're going to be making some changes in the upcoming season." She chuckled. "To be honest, we weren't expecting them to say yes so soon. But we'll roll with it. Like I said, the network wanted a few concessions. Keith, you're going to get the half-alien prince storyline."

"What?!" Lance yelled. He jumped to his feet. "That's mine! We've been teasing McClain as half-Altean for three seasons!"

"I know," Sanda said. She held his hands out placatingly. "It's not going to be a full swap. The half-Altean story will still happen, but we're pushing it to the following season. Akira will be revealed to be half-Galra, which will set up a great Romeo and Juliet romance between him and Princess Fala." She grinned winningly and took a careful step back.

"What?!" This time it was both Lance and Keith.

"Well, with Sven being confirmed as gay, the network wanted to make it clear that everyone else on the team was straight," Sanda said, the words tumbling quickly from her mouth.

"Oh, that's lovely." Keith folded his arms over his chest and scowled.

"You think Keith can pass for straight?" Lance scoffed.

"Better than you!" Keith snapped.

Lance leaned forward, his hands on the table. "Sanda, come on, my agent's putting me out for romcoms. I need to show my romantic side."

Keith rolled his eyes. "Just come out already."

"Oh, yeah," Lance said sarcastically. "Because I really want to spend two seasons doing off-Broadway zombie musicals."

Keith jumped up and leaned towards Lance. Allura sat between them, so they weren't quite face to face. "The fight choreographer was doing his last show before retirement. I asked for the time off because it was my one chance to work with him. Some of us care about the work, not our ranking on People's Sexiest Genre Stars."

"You're just jealous because you ranked below Wil Wheaton!" Lance snapped.

"All right!" Shiro rose to his feet and placed his hand on Keith's shoulder.

"Lance," Allura said. She rested one manicured hand over his. "I could use some work on my romantic image, too. Perhaps you and I could make some appearances together."

"Oh, yeah?" A small smile emerged out of Lance's scowl.

"Sure. I know of a little sushi place in Pasadena with a beautiful view. We could go, have a nice dinner, get caught by the paparazzi on our way out?"

"You think you could stand an evening with li'l ol' me?" Lance said, slowly sitting back down.

"Maybe more than one," Allura said.

"Two more seasons," Pidge groaned. "Hey, Sanda, wanna write me off the show?"

"Sorry, Pidge," Sanda smiled at her. "We're keeping Katie's big adventure. Hunk, we're going to explore your family a little." Hunk gave him a thumbs' up. "And Lance, we're going to come up with something amazing for McClain."

"I hope so," Lance said, the lines of his scowl reappearing.

"Look, all of you, this is big news and we want to control the story," Sanda said. She looked at Shiro. "Shiro, you're going to be asked a lot about your personal history, especially about your coming out. Your relationship with Keith will probably be a big point of discussion as well, since you're both on the show."

Shiro nodded. "I'll have our publicist talk to Bibobi and we can strategize." He looked at Keith who also nodded.

"Yeah," Keith said. "I'm all in. This is important."

"Good," Sanda said. "We're going to be pretty busy in the writer's room sorting this out, so Mitch will be directing the next episode. Be good to him."

"Always," Shiro said.

---

Keith drove home, his little BMW taking the curves of the hills at faster than the recommended speed. He had a sixth sense for hazards and always made it home safely.

"Do you want to eat anything?" Shiro asked, as they went up the stairs from the garage. They'd had dinner on the set, but that had been several hours ago.

"You cooking?" Keith gave him a tired smile.

"Sure," Shiro said. "I could make cereal, protein shakes, cold pizza-"

"I finished the pizza this morning," Keith said.

"Scratch the pizza then," Shiro said. "We could call for delivery?"

"Cereal's good," Keith said. He yawned and unlocked the front door. He heard the click of toenails on hardwood, approaching at full speed. Shiro took a neat step to the left and Keith took the full force of Kosmo's pounce. Keith's rescue dog was believed to be part Irish wolfhound, part malamute, and part prehistoric wolf. The vet disputed the last part, but Shiro was pretty confident about it. Keith was pinned on the floor, laughing, as he ruffled his dog's fur and Kosmo licked his face. Shiro had and Keith had lived together for most of Kosmo's life, but it had been Keith that found him as a young pup and brought him home and Kosmo hadn't forgotten.

"Come on, boy," Shiro said, slapping his hand against his thigh. "Let's get you some dinner." Kosmo followed Shiro to the kitchen and Keith had the chance to get up brush himself off. Shiro fed Kosmo from a bin of dog food in the pantry while Keith poured them bowls of cereal. They ate on the center island of the kitchen, sitting on barstools. "How are you feeling about the news today?" Shiro asked.

"It's great," Keith said. "It's good for the show, it's good for the LGBTQ community, and it's good for all-ages television."

Shiro hooked his ankle around Keith's, as if they were teenagers drinking milkshakes. "Come on."

Keith lowered his spoon and sighed. "It's selfish. It's just - I've always wanted to play opposite you in a big blockbuster movie. Not some indie pic where one of us dies, either. A real action-adventure with a romantic subplot."

"That'd be amazing," Shiro said. "But this isn't the end. We can still do that."

"Yeah, there's a lot of queer high-budget action movies." Keith sighed.

"Not yet," Shiro admitted. "But there will be. If they won't hire us, we'll start a production company."

"You have not looked at our budget recently, have you?" Keith said dryly.

"Okay, we're not there yet," Shiro said. "We'll get there. We're on the way up and this is going to be a big boost. To you, and to me, and to genre media. If parents can let their kids watch queer people at home, they'll let them see them at the movies."

"There's still the foreign market," Keith reminded him.

"A harder sell, but Deadpool proved you don't need China to be a success," Shiro said. He slid his arm around Keith's waist, pulled Keith against him, back to front, and rested his chin on his shoulder. "I'll get you your blockbuster," he said softly, against his ear. "I will save a hundred million dollars penny by penny, if I have to, but we will have our movie."

Keith rested against him and smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Shiro said, and kissed his temple. "This'll give us a boost, I promise. I already told Coran and he's trading notes with Bibobi. He said he might be able to parlay this into a Vanity Fair profile."

"Vanity Fair? Off this?"

"Sure," Shiro said. "'Hollywood's Queer Power Couple - Breaking the Pink Ceiling Together.'"

"'Power Couple'?" Keith asked.

"Fake it 'til you make it," Shiro said.

"Pink ceiling sounds like a feminist thing," Keith said.

Shiro grinned, his stubble brushing against Keith's ear. "We'll let Coran write the copy."

"Hey, Shiro?" Keith asked. His words had a little drag at the end, meaning he was reaching the end of his energy.

"Yeah, babe?"

"Can we get a Jackie Chan cameo in our movie?"

"Definitely," Shiro said.

"Get him to choreograph the fights?"

"James might get get jealous if we hire someone else."

"Not if it's Jackie Chan," Keith said.

"Point," Shiro said. He kissed Keith's temple. "I think we should get some sleep."

"Sleep," Keith yawned. "Okay."

They put the dishes in the dishwasher and went up to bed.

---

My AO3.

#voltron #sheith #allurance #shiro #keith #lance #you are welcome to tell me if you want more of this #you can ask about Blood Ties if you want my rant #my fic: voltron actor au

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fuckyeahsnackables · 6 years

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Okay, so a thing happened.

Um.....Wil Wheaton wrote back to me. Now, I am prepared to make a damn fool out of myself because, as Sandra Cisneros taught me, there is still a 12 year old girl inside of me, and she is weird and smart and lonely and anxious and loves Star Trek too much and waaaaay before there was a geek culture one could access outside of a Convention. No, not a “Con”. See, a “con” is a thing. People know about it. People go to them. All kinds. But my intensity of feeling was answered in Star Trek. Although I grew up watching TOS with Mom, I got hooked on TNG. And no character ever resonated with me like Wesley Crusher. I’m happy that I’ve heard other people talk about Wesley with love, because I didn’t just love that character in a fun, crushed out way--although I did. I identified with Wesley. I was too smart/weird/sad/intense/awkward/potent to ever be cool, and I wouldn’t even try to relate to kids my own age. I tended towards the company of grown-ups. But that meant I was always the kid in the company of grown-ups. My mother tolerated as much Star Trek talk as she could handle, washing my hair in the kitchen sink. I was a teenager, but she still washed my hair in the kitchen sink and listened to me babble about the latest novel with Wesley on the cover. My Cool Youngest Aunt indulged my fangirling with gracious good humor. And lord help me, but I was in love with that one college-age youth director named Alex, who was the only one who could ever go head-to-head with me about Star Trek. I mean, Alex was the closest thing you could get to actual Wesley Crusher , in my Luv’s baby soft memory. Where the “sticks-meets-the-suburbs” near Houston, Texas in the early 90′s, I would try to rush my family home from a weekend with my paternal grandparents because there was a WESLEY EPISODE ON, MOM, IT SAID SO IN T.V. GUIDE. I mean I. Loved. Wesley Crusher. MMmkay? I’ve never been in the room with the Wil Wheaton. And I fully understand the difference between that young person as a child actor and the character he portrayed. But then he went on and became this Genuinely Consistently Trying To Be A Good Dude dude, and I just watched with love and fascination how someone else solved their own 4-dimensional rubrics cube, hitting many of the same stages in love, creativity, mental illness, self-doubt, that whole impostor syndrome G/T kid thing. The one who is too sensitive, too insense, too brave, too tender to to survive, but learns to anyway. In other words, even after the internet happened and I went to Rice and I met other nerdy intellectuals, even after becoming “That Teacher”--you know, the weird queer one with all the geeky t shirts and nerdy science tangents in English class--I still found connection and solace in Wil Wheaton’s art and shared experiences. I had depression for nearly a calendar year. I almost didn’t make it. I sat there numbly listening to Wil Wheaton describe his anxiety, describe his trauma, describe his self-doubt...it didn’t cure my depression. Ketamine cured my depression, thank the lord and dodgy pharmaceutical giants. But he made me feel less alone. My heart couldn’t be happy, but it could feel for him. It always had. And here we were, taking on our late twenties, our early 30′s, and onward, still figuring out our truths, making our art, dealing with our demons. And I was just so happy to know that he’s revising his manuscript. He’s doing a Good Job. And it inspires me to do a good job too.

So today I wrote a severely condensed version of the above to Mr. Wheaton his own self. The ask box constrains the number of characters you can use, and I am verbose. So I accidentally made it sound like we had actually grown up together. Now I am sitting on an ask from Wil Wheaton. How do I respond? There is no right or wrong answer. I am just spending the evening bemused. It is good to still be bemused. I choose to believe that somewhere in Pearland-Past, a twelve-year-old me is sitting on the kitchen counter in the Fellowship Hall, kicking my Keds, and just senselessly happy for no reason. Tomorrow I’ll write back to Wil Wheaton. Today I will just be glad he read something appreciative, and that WIL FRIKKIN WHEATON WROTE ME BACK. Please join me in my evening of revelry. Sincerely, [Redacted]

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yesasunathings · 6 years

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Tan emociónada! El gran momento esperado para nosotras 😀💍👰🎩 @ibetelisa @pimay18 @shamymajimhuddyhousemdgreyanat ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ #Repost -@emmy4mayim - It's more than just a Stand By Me mini reunion the guest list is huge!!! Can you guess who plays Amy's dad??? @jimparsons_source ・・・ The moment we've all been waiting for is almost here! Time to go big or go home for the #Shamy wedding! The stellar guest list includes Luke Skywalker himself: #MarkHamill! Also, Kathy Bates and Teller will make their #BigBangTheory debute on the season finale. Who do you think they'll play? Laurie Metcalf, Courtney Henggeler (Missy Cooper), Wil Wheaton, John Ross Bowie, Brian Posehn, Lauren Lapkus (Denise, will make her debut in this week's episode) will reprise their roles. Jerry O'Connell will make his debut as Georgie Cooper. Sounds like one we can't miss! Set your calendars! The finale airs May 10th! We're so excited!🙌😁 #SheldonCooper #amyfarrahfowler #mayimbialik #jimparsons #TBBT Source:TVLine

#mayimbialik #bigbangtheory #markhamill #jimparsons #shamy #amyfarrahfowler #tbbt #repost #sheldoncooper

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thomasvanboening · 7 years

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Reader Beware (Full Story)

By Thomas Van Boening

Gamma Psi Sigma had been the last place left to pledge, I thought as the frat boy tied the blindfold. It was clear to me that getting into a fraternity without some athletic ability was going to take some doing. The campus had an unofficial religion and athletes and coaches were living gods around here.

“Alright, dumbass.”

One of future hazers addressed me, yanking the collar of my shirt forward.

“What’s your name and why should we let your scrawny ass into our elite society?”

I felt his breath. It reeked of pizza and halitosis. He was definitely a football player considering he pulled me upward for half a second. “My name is Jack Fields. I am studying to be an artist and I could contribute to make Gamma Psi Sigma the most bad ass house on fraternity row.”

“We don’t usually take faggots.” Another frat boy said.

Just hearing the word made me cringe. Always hated what I called ‘the other f-word.’ Keep cool. This is just the usual hazing initiation, I thought. I felt bad for Kevin the most at the moment. I knew somewhere in the blind darkness of this ritual he heard the same thing and his bisexual nature was likely very pissed.

“I can ensure you that this house can win the homecoming parade, have rad posters for events, and I can help all in the house with their required art classes that you find to be bullshit!”

I then felt the sting of a wooden paddle hitting my ass. I winced but didn’t yelp.

“Shut up, Fields.” The first frat boy said. “Art classes are the cakewalk of college. You are taking the weak way out with the arts, while we will be the elite and strong mother fuckers that you will be working for as long as your weak dumb ass will live!”

I couldn’t believe I was putting myself through this stereotypical malarkey. Yes being in a fraternity would solve a few problems and would finally get dad off my back. It just sucked that this was my last option since no other fraternity let Kevin and I in during rush week.

“We’ll come back to you, queer-bait”. It was so hard to differentiate who was talking to me with the blind fold on. The guy who just spoke had a knack for dropping homophobic slurs like old southern trash drop n-bombs.

“And what about you, fat fuck?” The frat boy said. “Who are you and what could a sack of shit lard ball like you do for the best house on campus?”

Keven was standing next to me last I saw, but now I could only guess the fat fuck he was addressing was my best friend from high school.

“I-I-I…” He stammered. It was still Keven next to me on my right. “I am Kevin Gries –“

“Grease?” The frat boy cut him off. “Grease is right. You’re so fat, your skin is practically glistening with grease. You little pig.”

“I am Kevin Gries and I and am in the Engineering program. I could use my knowledge of engineering and physics to aid your ball players and other athletes.”

“Physics don’t make better players, practice makes better players.”

‘Doesn’t’ make better players, I thought. They could do well with an English major in the house too.

“You think just because you’re smart, you can be in here?”

“We both could keep the house GPA high.” I said boldly.

There was no retort outside of another smack to my butt.

After we heard more of the same for about a dozen of us, we were escorted into cars from Gamma Psi Sigma house. I imagined this was another part of the initiation, so I thought I made it through the first round of this machismo rite of passage.

I knew Kevin was in the back seat with me. His breathing was always heavy, whether he was calm or nervous. “We’re gonna get through this.” I whispered.

After about 15 minutes, it could have more it could have been less, I felt the car stop and the engine shut off.

“Alright fuck-tards.” The frat boy said. “Time for your baptism.”

The door opened beside me and I felt a strong hand grab my shoulder and pull me out. I heard the sound of leaves crunching and felt the occasional stick break beneath my shoes. I could only guess I was in a wooded area outside of town. The air was cooler, and it felt like it rained recently.

After walking I was forced to stop by my escort, whoever he was. I could hear running water nearby, like a creak or stream.

“We have come to the last part of the initiation, you little pricks.” A frat boy said. I actually recognized the voice. It was Richard Malcom, the president of Gamma Psi Sigma. “You will take your baptismal and should you pass, you shall be welcomed. We are looking for 12 pledges, and I see 20 of you sacks of shit before me.”

I heard the scuffling sound of another pledge getting dragged. The darkness was becoming almost unbearable as I just wanted to know what the hell they planned on doing in this baptismal of ours.

“Strip.” I would hear Richard say.

There was a moment where I heard the recruit rustle out of his clothes. It was at this time I smelled something awful. It smelled like we were downwind from some farm because it smelled like the shit of some animal. Cow or pig shit maybe.

“Grab him.”

I heard a slight struggle, but it sounded like the recruit was thrown into the water. I then heard a shriek from the kid. “Holy fuck, it’s cold.”

“Welcome to our brotherhood.” Richard said. “You are a Gamma Psi Sigma member now.”

The process was repeated a few more times. After more people complained of how cold the water was, a few kids were dismissed as failures.

Then it was my turn. I felt to guys grab my arms and lead me forward.

“This shit is taking too long men, let’s start doing this two at a time.” Richard said.

“Alright.” The homophobic frat boy said. “Let’s get the next two, and the new deal with the two faggots and then we can go home and get laid.”

I heard two of the guys ahead of us get their initiation, and it sounded like both of them were welcomed into the fraternity.

I had kept count. They said they were looking for 12 recruits, and they had dismissed eight of us and accepted ten. That meant that all Kevin and I had to do was take a cold dip in the water.

Then I felt the arms grab me again.

“Strip.” Richard said.

I took off my clothes. The night air was very cold against my skin. Even though I was blindfolded, I made it my business to hide my shame.

“Alright. Grab them.” Richard said. “The final initiation of the night.”

I noticed the stench again as I was walking. Something doesn’t feel right, I thought.

“Oh by the way.” I heard Richard say as I was hoisted up and made parallel with the ground.

I heard him say nothing else. Just felt my body fall as they dropped me into the water.

I gasped right before I was submerged. I was under something alright, but it wasn’t as nearly cold as I thought it would be. And it was thick. It was the shit I smelled earlier. They dropped me, and I presumed Kevin, into a vat of shit.

I stood up and screamed and the thought of anything getting in my mouth or up my nose made me puke.

“We only needed ten recruits this year. Sorry to break it to you sacks of shit.” Richard said.

I took off my blindfold and it was I saw all of the flashlights pointing at my body covered with varying shades of brown shit. The laughter made my embarrassment intensify.

I then saw Kevin struggle to get up. I immediately tried to help him up. He was so slick with feces and god knows what else that he slipped from my grip and I lost my bearings. It wasn’t shallow by any means, it was essentially a normal swimming pool filled half way up. I then slipped on top of Keven as I tried to move.

“Oh look, the two gay-wads couldn’t wait to go at it!” The homophobic frat boy shouted to roaring laughter. I finally recognized him as Roy Frost, the halfwit baseball player that carries the team. An urge to shove a Louisville slugger up his ass came across my mind.

“Fudge for the fudge-packers. It fits perfectly.” Some unseen new initiated kid added.

I wanted it just to end. More than anything I just yearned to turn back time and tell myself to just take more loans and pay them back after college. More debt would be infinitely better than being doused in crap from head to toe.

The worst part was I could see half of them getting cell phones out, undoubtedly to take photos. It wasn’t enough to haze us, it wasn’t enough to reject us, and it wasn’t enough to embarrass us in the worst way possible. No, they had to ensure that our lowest moment of me and Kevin’s lives was preserved, likely on the internet already, curated forever for anyone to see.

“Let’s go boys. We got a long weekend ahead of us.” Richard said. “But before we go I have a parting gift for no hard feelings.”

I saw a fire extinguisher being pointed at both of us. I braced myself.

“Get lost, you shitheads!” Richard shouted. “Gamma house has no place for the weak.”

The fire extinguisher was the coldest thing I ever felt. I couldn’t do anything but shudder and shout. They all left us. I saw that there was a creek glistening in the moonlight. “Come on. Let’s get rinsed off.”

“It’s freezing cold.” Kevin said.

“I know. But we’re going to get some foul disease or something.” I said. “The sooner we wash off, the sooner we can get back to the campus.”

The creek was only waste deep, but it was enough water to get started. It came off quicker than I thought. But I felt globs and dollops of feces rinsing away. When I was halfway done, Kevin finally worked up enough gumption to get in.

“I hope there aren’t any leeches, like in Stand by Me.” He said.

“Not a good time to mention that.” I said. I wanted to laugh, but I remembered a young Wil Wheaton and the exact scene he was referring to when a leech saw fit to start sucking on his privates.

“Can you get my back?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah I can.” I said.

The best was getting my face cleansed. I no longer smelled like a pool of shit. Thankfully it was just a vague stink of shit, like I worked on a farm for a long day.

“We’ll shower off the rest when we get back..” I said.

“They took our clothes.” Kevin said. I could tell he was on the verge of crying. I had to admit, I was close to blubbering myself. I’d heard of extreme cases of hazing, and I could only blame myself for trying to pledge to the archaic fraternity system.

We walked through the woods. I stepped on several acorns and sticks, and I knew Kevin didn’t fare any better. Each one hurt a lot. After about a half hour of stumbling into trees and freaking out with the sound of nocturnal wildlife, we finally found our way to the road by listening to the occasional sound of a car or truck running by on the highway.

“Which way should we go?” Kevin asked.

I looked to the sky. It was partly cloudy with the full moon, but I managed to find Polaris really quick. I knew where north was, but I had no idea if the assholes from Gamma Psi Sigma took us to the woods north or south of town. I saw two faint glows on the horizon in either direction. The fainter one to the southeast was more likely to be the small college town.

“We’ll go south.” I said.

Neither of us said anything while walking on the rough pavement. Kevin was only muttering two words under his breath, thinking that I couldn’t hear him.

“Never again.” He would repeat occasionally.

About two hours of walking we saw the outskirts of town. My guess was right, thankfully. It would have been very awkward to get a cab from the other town. My cell phone was in my stolen clothes too, so I couldn’t even call an Uber. It was just as well. I would have felt bad to sit in someone’s car and get cow-shit all over.

For about three hours we walked on the wet road. Any time we heard a car coming, we would stop and squat in the ditch to make sure we were never seen in the bare, or worse by the Gamma Phi Sigma assholes if they returned for more kicks.

We saw the clock in town square that it was 4:03 a.m. I was beyond cold. Even in the dim orange street lights, we both looked pale.

We made it back to our dorm. We pressed every button until one of the other students buzzed us in. Thank Christ that Kevin left a key to our room behind his Star Wars poster on the door. For once I felt the force was with us that tonight.

I looked into my mirror and I looked terrible. Pale white skin covered with the occasional blemish of dirt and dry crud. How we weren’t seen was the only real miracle. I took a hot shower and under the noise of the running water I finally broke down and cried. I felt no shame being an 18 year old man being driven to tears.

I thought about everything that happened over the last few hours. I don’t know what I expected. Fraternities are notorious for being a magnet for douchebags and hazing incidents only get worse and worse each year. But this prank, this baptism of shit was the most unforgiveable thing I’ve ever heard of happening to anyone.

Do I report this prank? I thought. Of course I do. This was disgusting and morally reprehensible.

I didn’t sleep well at all, although Kevin slept like a snoring log. He did talk in his sleep. The same two words: Never again. I was surprised he could sleep at all. We probably walked about ten miles of walking, more than we had walked any day of our lives.

I thought to get breakfast at the college cafeteria, but I just got a Pop Tart out from under my bed where I hoarded food in a tote. I didn’t want to see anyone from Gamma Psi Sigma, or any other fraternity for that matter.

The rest of Saturday I spent my time in the dorm until supper time. I could eat my junk food and snacks, so I went to the cafeteria. I tried to convince Kevin, but I gave up after one attempt.

While walking through the campus, I could hear other students giggling and talking softly whenever I went by. Did they know? Had they seen the pics taken? Did word get around about him and Kevin being submerged in shit?

I got my supper and sat at an empty table. The overcooked and bland chicken with corn giblets and Mountain Dew was delicious enough, but I couldn’t get over the thought of what my hands were coated in only the day before. I felt like showering again and again.

“Hey shit-for-brains!” said Roy Frost. “Looks like you turned up… or should I say “turd up?””

“Leave me alone.” I said.

“I get it.” He said. “I’m not your type. You and your fudge-packing butt-buddy are a cute couple anyway.”

I wouldn’t suffer him anymore. I got up with my half eaten food and took my tray to the dish washing conveyor belt.

I then went straight to campus security after getting Kevin. We got to the office, only to see a tall fat slob picking his nose. We reported our situation and all he could do was give us a form to fill out.

“Your frat house and sorority shenanigans get weirder and weirder every year.” The security guard said. “I will report this and we’ll talk with Gamma house about it.”

“That’s it?” Kevin said. “That’s all you can do?”

“From what you say happened, it sounds like it happened off campus. If it happened off campus, there really isn’t anything I can do. These fraternities do a lot of crap off campus or outside their houses so they all get the alibi of not hazing on campus, because our College has a no-hazing policy… on campus. You want to follow through, be my guest and go to the city police.”

“We will.” I said. “And we’ll be glad to let everyone know that we got the run around with you especially after what they did with us.”

“Not on campus, not my problem that you stupid kids feel like acting like savages.” The security guard said.

“Sorry we took time away from your nose picking.” Kevin said as he stormed off.

We did follow up with the town authorities. They asked us for proof of this. We couldn’t produce the location of where the hazing took place, and we both had done an amazing job cleaning up and not getting caught naked on our cold voyage back home. This felt like the whole town was against us and was acting like hazing was just something that people do and there is no reproach to be had for the college.

After a few days of trying to find a sympathetic soul and coming up with nothing, I gave up in sheer frustration.

“Never again.” Keven said.

I got so tired of hearing him saying that. I knew what he was thinking; retribution and revenge. I knew he wasn’t going to go the same path as Seung-Hui Cho or Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. Kevin has a good soul, I thought. But how much pushing does it take to manifest revenge from fantasy to reality?

By the end of September I was still plenty pissed, but I was trying to leave it alone and not make waves. Kevin wouldn’t stop dwelling on it and not leave it alone.

“Look, I know what they did was terrible,” I said. “And yes I wish the town wouldn’t turn a blind eye to the obvious hazing that has happened, not just to us, but to countless students that have come and gone. I just want to put my time into this place, get out, and not get into any more trouble here.”

“Being in the middle of the road is the most dangerous part to walk.” Kevin said.

I hated to think about it, but he was right. We did have to do something, but what?

September turned to October and midterms were coming up. I was doing fair in my art and design classes, but Kevin was doing poorly. I warned him that he needed to worry more about getting put on academic probation or worse getting kicked out of college for poor grades.

I helped him study for the midterm exams and he helped me in return with art projects. He did fair on his exams, while I did awesome.

One afternoon during midterm break Kevin had looked better than he had since the hazing. “You have to check this out!”

I had to humor my best friend. So I went with him. He took me to the library and we went into the stacks in the basement and showed me an odd book. We sat at a small table at the end of the row of stacks.

The book was like something out of a cheesy British horror movie starring Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing. It was bound in black leather and had yellowed pages and looked like it was ready to be put in the Smithsonian.

“So what is it?” I asked.

“It’s a book on the old Occult and a history of covens in early colonial America.” Kevin said. “I am doing a research paper in English Composition, and I picked to do a project on the Occult.”

“Okay, so it’s an old dusty book.” I said. “So what does this mean?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” He said. “Just look at this page here.”

“Reader beware.” I read from the book.

“Not that.” Kevin pointed. “This here! This, this, is our ticket to revenge.”

I saw an illustration for some archaic symbol and a cartoony reptile coming from it. It looked like my older brothers dungeons and dragons books.

I knew he was waiting for me to actually read the passage.

“Here you will find the rite of incantation for the beasts.” I read. “The parallel realms of the abyss and the ethereal are obtainable through proper use of this spell. For protection, call upon the ethereal, and for ultimate revenge, call upon the abyss.”

“So how does the idea of Gamma Psi Sigma finally getting theirs sound to you?” Kevin asked with a huge grin.

“This sounds like you are reading a crock of shit, Kevin.” I laughed nervously.

I then heard a rustling sound under the table.

It came from Kevin’s backpack. I dragged the bag and hoisted up on top of the table. It rustled again.

“You want to see something to believe something?” Kevin said. “I can provide your answer with proof.”

I braced myself to what I was going to see as Kevin unzipped the top of his backpack. He then reached in as I heard the growling of something small.

“I read ahead and I summoned a beast of the abyss.” Kevin said. “Check this out!”

He pulled out of his bag a pink animal of some kind. I looked at it and it was some kind of lizard or reptile. It looked like a chameleon, but there was a set of horns on its head, large eyes like a lemur, and a long thin tail like an opossum.

I placed a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. “Holy fuck, what is that thing?”

“No clue.” Kevin said. “It doesn’t seem to mind me so much. It is probably grateful to be in our material realm again.”

I reached out to touch it as Kevin held it. I just about regretted that when the little creature did a quick snarl and tried to bite my hand.

“Hmm.” Kevin said. “It doesn’t seem to like you so much. Let me try something.”

He placed a hand on the head of the monster for a moment. It looked like he was trying some kind of Vulcan mind meld, or something.

I didn’t like this at all. A whole minute earlier, monsters were just something out of ghost stories, horror movies, or comic books. But here it was, looking right at me in the face, and I still couldn’t believe that a monster in the flesh was in front of me.

“Try again.” Kevin said. “This little guy only knew me as its master, and now I told it that we are both its master.”

I hesitated, but I put my hand out the same way I would expect a dog to sniff. It then crawled onto my hand. I just about freaked, but I kept calm as it crawled on my arm. It had a very strong grip. Then somehow I could sense something, as if the creature’s mind and my mind were on the same frequency.

You were wronged by someone, as well. Some voice said. It was like an inner monologue, but it wasn’t my voice in my head, it was someone else. The balance of your life is off because someone wronged you for infantile means. Beings of the abyss are all about balance, and only wish to help our gracious hosts of the physical realm.

Somehow I understood completely. This was the exact means we needed to get back at the Gamma house assholes.

“Will you help us?” I asked the little pink creature.

It is why we exist. It said. We serve our summoning masters.

“What does this mean, this passage ‘Reader Beware’?” I asked.

Pay it no mind. It said. Merely just a safety measure so others do not abuse this power.

It crawled off my arm and his voice in my head was gone.

I understood how Kevin was excited for the first time in a while. I relished the idea of getting back at every single bastard that wronged us, consequences be damned. If no one was going to right the wrongs for us, I felt justified, as Kevin did, to seek out a force that would right the wrongdoing on our behalf.

Halloween night had come. What better night was there to summon demons from the abyss? We decided to summon more creatures from the abyss. The more the better, I thought. And what was Gamma Psi Sigma going to do? Call about demons attacking them on Halloween? The police know a crank call when they hear one. It was foolproof. It was perfect.

Kevin got the book and read the words for the rite of incantation.

“To the abyss I call for those that will answer and serve. I, Kevin Gries, exchange my soul for your entrance. Hear my plea, oh demons of darkness and come and bring balance to the physical world.”

“Did you just sell your soul?” I asked.

“No, that would be stupid.” Kevin said. “I just exchanged it as currency of passage. Once they are gone, they will return my soul to me.”

I didn’t like that at all. But before I could object, a semitransparent ring of orange light appeared in our dorm room and from there I could only see infinite blackness. I then saw something small fly through. Then it landed on Kevin’s shoulder, a green lizard similar to the pink one from before, but this one had wings like bats and a longer tail with spikes like a stegosaurus.

I then saw several other monsters reach out and crawl out. They were violet and gold. The demons all had a similar reptilian look to them, but the latter two looked like shelled versions of the pink monster. They had a lot more defined muscles and longer legs, but their heads were the same horned chameleon with lemur eyes.

The gold and violet demons crawled toward me and I welcomed them. Their grip was very strong as well. A little more strength than the pink one.

The pleasure is mine, friend of Kevin. Whose soul shall we eat today?

I was careful of my thoughts. I didn’t want the demons knowing how I felt. Yes I wanted revenge, but this new revelation of taking souls to eat was a little shocking. I hoped for physical revenge of some sort.

“The ones who wronged us are the men of the house Gamma Psi Sigma.” I said honestly. “I only want due retribution.”

We are fully aware of your unfortunate circumstance, Jack Fields. The Gold One said. People who go about hurting others just for the sake of hurting others are our specialty. Leave this house of evil men to us.

I felt reassured whenever the demons had physical contact with me. It was almost a euphoric sensation of calm and I felt sure that eating the frat boys souls was the correct course of action.

“Shall we take them to the Gamma house?” I asked.

“Yes. Let’s do.” Kevin smiled.

Kevin instructed all four small demons into his backpack and he carried them on his back. We left the dorm and walked through town and took in the beautiful scenery of Halloween. All of the jack-o-lanterns, decorations of spooky ghosts, and cartoony monsters like Frankenstein, Dracula, Freddy Krueger, and Jason Voorhees everywhere you looked.

“Let them out of the backpack, Kevin.” I said. “They’re gonna fit right in on a night like this.”

Kevin smiled in agreement. He then unzipped the backpack and let each monster out. The creatures were delighted to see the sights not normally seen in the darkness of the abyss.

They walked to the Gamma house and then sat on the bench next to the bus stop on the sidewalk across the street.

“Have fun.” Kevin said.

I wished we could have seen them do their dirty work as I saw each monster slip into different windows. But hearing the screams and seeing the occasional frat boy run from the house was pretty nice.

About an hour later, Kevin and I hand our fill laughing and grinning at the demons torment and scare the frat boys. Even Richard and Roy were getting freaked out.

Then we got a shock. We heard a gunshot. Then a squealing screech. We looked to each other and didn’t hesitate to run into the Gamma house. One of the monsters got shot and it was our fault because it was on our behalf. We ran in the open front door and saw Richard with a shotgun as he stood over a bloody and fleshy mess. It was the pink monster, the first we met.

“What did you do?” Kevin shouted.

“What the fuck are you two doing here? And what do you mean what did I do? I killed a fucking monster.” He said with pride.

I had a very mixed feeling. The man who embarrassed us with a shit bath, and likely circulated our naked bodies on the internet had killed our only chance at revenge.

The green demon flew into the room and looked at Richard. It then somehow tackled Richard with its small body and then wrapped its spiky tail around Richard’s neck. I took the liberty to take the shotgun away from his reach.

“Help!” He choked the words out. “Help me!”

“Get lost, you shithead.” Kevin said.

I watched Richard’s eyes dilate and glaze over, and his face go from beat read to dark blue. I sorta wanted to help him, but revenge didn’t allow me to move forward on that line of thought. I then saw Richard stop twitching and then the green demon released his neck from its snare.

Kevin went to pick up the green demon. It then snapped and bit his arm. He screamed louder than I had ever heard him at any point before. He then grabbed and threw the monster to the floor as hard as he could.

“Ow! What the actual fuck was that for?” Kevin said.

Our brother is dead. It said. No amount of souls will bring him back. This is beyond unacceptable.

“It wasn’t our fault though.” I said.

Perhaps not, but that doesn’t change what has happened. I feel no obligation to serve you whatsoever now.

“I summoned you to in exchange for my soul.” Kevin said.

Consider it payment for the loss of my brother. It said. Reader Beware, should we feel our contractual obligation is null and void, payment is due to us and our allegiance to our summoned master is over.

The green monster then flew out of Gamma Psi Sigma house and then flew down the street.

“What do we do?” I asked.

“Well Jack, I don’t think they are going back to the abyss without a fight now.” Kevin said.

“Are you saying we kill them?” I said. “They got revenge for us.”

“Yeah,” Keven started. “And look exactly what that got us. It didn’t undo the past, and it doesn’t feel great to see the rat bastard dead, and now we have demons summoned.”

“Summoning demons was your idea!” I said.

“I know. I was desperate for revenge when there was no one else to come and assist us. So I summoned revenge incarnate and now I have to make sure that no one else ever again gets hurt from my actions.”

“Well,” I said as I pumped Richard’s shotgun. “We know for a fact that they are no harder to kill than any other animal. They bleed just like we do.”

He nodded in agreement. We heard more screams coming from down the street. Kevin and I left Gamma house and tried to find the source.

I heard a woman screaming. I knew it wasn’t some Halloween gimmick scream from some local funhouse for trick-or-treaters. It was certainly one of the monsters handiwork.

I saw the golden demon straddling a woman. I could see it trying to take her soul through her mouth. It was trying to eat it.

I didn’t hesitate to kick the son of a bitch off of her. It rolled half way across someone’s yard before landing on its back. It had trouble moving on its back like a stuck tortoise.

I moved quick and put my foot on its neck to hold it down. Before I could shoot it in the belly It grabbed my leg.

No need to do that. It said. We just want what we lack from the abyss. Eternity of damnation makes you very hungry.

“I understand.” I said.

Wait, what? I thought. I want to kill this thing. What is it whenever they touch me I feel like I’m not myself?

The feeling was again euphoric, the mind melding feeling of understanding between the beast and I.

Bang. I was ripped out of the trance and I saw Kevin with the shotgun over the dead monster, which was now a grotesque mess of mushy red and gold.

“Thanks.” I said. “They have some kind of unique power of mind control, I think.”

“I know.” Kevin said. “How else do you think the little pink one convinced me to summon forth others? I was eager to burn the book when I learned the monsters were real, but it somehow convinced me not to and just let them in.”

I heard more screaming.

“We have two more of these guys to get.” I said. “Come on!”

Kevin and I ran down the street of Sorority Row and we kept moving until we saw the violet monster biting some girl. We then saw the green monster flying around, terrorizing costumed kids.

Kevin saw an opening and shot the violet demon when it wasn’t near any of the kids. The shot blast only damaged the monster. It’s shell must have been really tough.

“Shoot it in the belly.” I said.

Kevin and I wrestled the violet one and got it on its back. Kevin took the shot before it could grab one of us.

Three down, I thought. One left to go.

I saw the green flying demon flying toward town square after more people.

“Let’s end this.” Kevin said.

“Do you know how many shots you have?” I said.

“No idea. We killed two of them, and Richard killed one. That’s at least three shots.” Kevin said.

“That’s a pump action shotgun, I bet it has room enough for 6 shells, maybe 8.” I said.

“I aint got a clue, I just point and shoot like I do with Nintendo.” Kevin said.

“Right.” I said. “At any rate, act like you only have one shot left.”

We walked side by side with the town square a block away from us at the end of Sorority Row. The green demon was done with its latest victim.

“Hey!” I shouted. “You piece of shit. You want another soul, deal with me and leave everyone out of this!”

The demon had a grin on its face and came flying at me.

“Whenever you’re ready.” I said.

Kevin aimed the shotgun. “I got him.”

He pulled the trigger and the only thing I heard was a click.

“Seriously?” I said.

“Oh shit.” Kevin said.

The green demon flew and pounced on me. It was unreal how strong these little things were. I slugged it in the skull, but it grabbed my arm when I went for another strike.

Your soul is mine, child. It said.

I felt like my body was getting lighter. Little green had it’s claws on my shoulders and was inhaling my soul. It was beyond euphoric. It was like everything heaven was described to be.

I saw in super slow motion Kevin hold the shotgun by the barrel and swing it at the green monster, hitting it across the skull with the butt. It was glorious.

As soon as its claws were taken from my shoulders, I felt the enraptured sense leave me. I then saw green demon attack Kevin. It started whipped it’s tail at kevin’s neck, striking him in the jugular. It pulled the spikes out, causing him to bleed profusely.

I got the shotgun and got on the back of the green demon. I put the barrel under it’s neck and began choking the little bastard. I knew it was a tough son of a bitch, so I yanked and pulled against its neck harder than I ever yanked and pulled before.

It started struggling, but my body weight was enough to keep it under me. It whipped me with it’s tail on my thigh, so I brought my knee down on top of it. I heard the demons bones in the neck cracking and I heard it gasping for air.

You’re mine, you son of a bitch, I thought. You’re dead.

It finally stopped struggling after I heard the neck snap and felt the bones in the beasts throat give into the shotgun barrel.

I heard sirens blaring when I let it go. If it wasn’t dead, it was hurt bad enough not to want to fight anymore.

I then saw Kevin holding onto his throat. He had lost a lot of blood.

“Jesus Christ almighty, Kevin.” I said as I took off my shirt to tie around his neck. “When did we become so brave?”

He couldn’t talk. He just coughed up blood. I knew Kevin was a goner.

A police car pulled up. A cop got out and ran toward me. He looked like John Candy if he had mustache.

“What in the Sam Hell is going on here?” The officer said.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I said. “My friend here was attacked by this thing.”

“I’ve been getting calls all night about monsters. I first thought they were pranksters, but then I heard my daughter call about them.”

I wanted to tell him everything, but I just left it alone.

“Is he okay?” The officer asked.

I looked back to Kevin and he was gone. He died, and his soul was gone as well, forever in the abyss as payment for the demons passage. And for what? An empty revenge that feels unfulfilled.

“No.” I said. “He’s pretty fucking far from okay.”

For the next hour or two I saw ambulances show up, and pick people up and take them to the hospital. I saw them put Kevin in a black body bag and close up the ambulance doors. It was the realization that Kevin wasn’t going to be at my side anymore that hurt the most.

About a dozen people were hurt, and only two were killed. Roy and Richard, I wanted to be overjoyed for the news that the bastards behind our humiliation were dead and gone. But the revenge didn’t take away the empty feeling I had, and the revenge didn’t undo all of the damage done to innocent people, and the revenge didn’t bring back Kevin.

The officer got done asking around for witnesses of the attack. He then came over to me.

“Several people say you and your friend saved the town.” The officer said. “Those things were some kind of freak of nature or some demented science experiment. With the other three blown to bits, it will be hard to tell what the hell they were, but the one you strangled will likely be photographed and put in magazines.”

I didn’t want recognition for killing something.. But I felt like I was going to get a lot of unwanted attention for this.

“You’re a real hero, kid. You apart of any fraternity?” The Officer asked.

“No, sir.” I said. “In fact, I think you prolly already heard of my friend and me. We were the ones that got hazed real fucking nasty like.”

If I had been accepted like this in the first place, this whole thing would have never happened. I thought.

I told the officer that I wanted to remain anonymous after I filled out my report. I told the truth. Every little bit of the unbelievable tale of finding a book and summoning monsters after hazing.

“You’re kidding me, right?” The officer said after reading my testimony. “No one will believe this. Everyone will see this green mother fucker right here, and still not believe the story you wrote here.”

“That’s why I want to remain anonymous.” I said. “I thought I wanted acceptance from everyone, more than anything. I just want to be left alone and want no reward, because what’s being loved and accepted by everyone if it was done through revenge.”

“I see.” The officer said. “I should make you an accessory to murder if you say you and your friend did “summon these monsters with black magic.” Like you said you did.”

Oh fuck me, I thought. I was terrified at what was going to happen next.

“But frat boys have been getting a free pass at bullshit for years and years. Much of the other officers are given a yearly “extra salary” from the college to keep hush-hush about this sort of thing. Just call this a free pass for you for doing something right.”

He tore up my written statement. “If that book you discovered is the real deal, you burn that thing to make sure this never happens again. I can’t stop the blind eye to hazing, but you can put a stop to monsters from another world from ever coming back.”

The very next day I got the book and set it on fire, page by page. “Reader beware” I laughed when I saw the red lettering.. It should have said “Burn this book.”

I turned on the TV in my dorm room and listened to the media circus. CNN had on its news story graphic banner in big bold letters reading “Strange new animal attack on Halloween.” I listened in while the pictures of the strangled green demon were shown. It had decayed a little since I killed it, but its dead lemur eyes on a chameleon face made everyone freak.

I wanted to punch the dumb son of a bitch commentator that said these are likely misidentified animals like the Plum Island creature that washed up on shore, or the creatures that were found after the 2006 tsunami. It was more of the same on each major news network.

What was this thing? Is this a hoax? Was this viral marketing for a movie?

I turned off the TV thinking that I did the right thing in the end. It was the demons that deceived Kevin and I into using them as a means of revenge. That whole thing of being our servants was likely all a ruse to get into our world all along. And that strange power they had over our minds was their way we didn’t question them or their motives.

I should have taken more heed of the “Reader Beware” passage. Did Richard and Roy deserve something in return? Absolutely, but death didn’t feel like the right means of vengeance or payback. That thought kept repeating in my head again and again.

I got done burning the last few pages of the book and took a leak on the ashes in the waste barrel. I then dumped the nasty ashes out the dorm window into the courtyard below. It was late, and I knew no one was going to see it until morning.

Fuck it, I thought. If I get caught for burning a book, it was the least of the problems I have.

This is the first draft of a story I wrote during National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) a few years back. Because I never thought it really fit with what the markets were asking for, there is a likelihood that this short story could get polished and developed further. I’m slightly curious about what else could be within the old book!

That’s it. Glad I could share it. Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed it, share with others!

-Thomas

#Writing #Story #Short Story #Reader Beware #Thomas Van Boening #Horror Story #Monster Story #B-Movie Story #Monsters #Tumblr Writers #Tumblr Authors #Tumblr Writing Community #NaNoWriMo Story

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