#wildhood friends

[fangjuexias]

Wildhood Friends Audio Drama || Theme Song, "Under the Sunlight"

演 唱：大C @大C爱唱歌 作 词：柒斤糖@柒斤糖 作 曲：徐一-Xu1 Studio @徐一_ 编 曲：徐一-Xu1 Studio /李大有-Xu1 Studio 吉 他：洪施锐-Xu1 Studio 和声设计:徐一-Xu1 Studio 制 作 人：徐一-Xu1 Studio 混音/母带：HJLL-Xu1 Studio 音乐制作：杭州乐馨文化艺术有限公司 监 制：贰哲-Xu1 Studio@贰哲

策划 / 监制：嘉一@一加一嘉、橘子@王不辟邪 统 筹：陈璃@Erepos 视觉设计：安佶

记忆里每个冬夏 想追着你长大 永远一起回家 又是在某一个刹那 发觉心愿悄悄 起了变化 但做异类 要付的代价 书里 没回答

多害怕 你眼中有逃避和挣扎 可是更怕 流言会将我们压垮 仓促告别年少 闯荡去看世界之大 怎么连相爱都 容不下

雨水淋湿海棠花 今天送走晚霞 再同你说说话 何必让每人的疤 都以岁月煎熬 证明真假 泪水虽然 已尽数蒸发 声音 还沙哑

多害怕 有流言会将我们压垮 可是更怕 从此生命失去牵挂 同世界对抗到 头破血流用尽办法 原来连爱人都 留不下 如飞沙

再不怕 有流言会将我们压垮 只凭借爱 就造举世无双盔甲 何必寻觅高塔 挽手同行日光之下 在人间越经历 越潇洒

[chiinoiserie]

20230508 | Diudiu

Wildhood Friends chapter 50 made me a crying mess ;;w;;

[itsmyfriendisaac]

Wildhood: Link escapes an abusive household to search for his missing mother's whereabouts & ends up finding companionship in the form of a new friend named Pasmay. As their journey pushes forward, the chemistry between them grows spectacularly!

[variousqueerthings]

according to letterboxd i've watched 261 films this year (not counting un-logged films and the couple of weeks left to go)

so despite being tripped up in my plans by suddenly speedrunning doctor who these last couple of months, it's not been a bad year on the whole:

watched my first horror exploitation films -- "cannibal holocaust" and "last house on the left." I cannot say this genre will ever be a favourite, but there is a fascination to the uncomfortable feeling of realism in both of these

overall I watched much less horror this year, partially because I spent october travelling, so didn't do my usual one-per-day themed watch. out of these "lair of the white worm," (generally want to go down more of a ken russell rabbithole next year) "ravenous," (the best cannibal film that nobody's ever seen) and "nightbreed" (the other clive barker directed, which, listen, it may have flaws but it doesn't I tell you, this is a perfect movie!!!) stood out the most, but was also positively surprised by both "return of the living dead" (which, yes, was schlock, but very enjoyable schlock) and "the ritual" (I was expecting to like the ritual, but not for it to feel incredibly personal somehow -- the underrated of the two horrors I know of about english-speaking tourists with trauma trying to recover in the swedish wilderness, by far my favourite!)

also, finally watched the original "the exorcist" which... argh, you know when people say "this thing is really good" and you go sureeeee whatever, it's ruined by the hype and the way you talk about it makes me think I'm not gonna like it, and then you watch it and it's really good dammit!

also, i was convinced I watched "nope" last year, but it may be this year. I watched it three times this year, and I didn't log it last, so that means I get to go ohhhhh "nope" is just a movie of all time, it deserves the future cult status it's gonna have, I've been yelling about it with @le-red-queen because finally finally someone I know has also watched it why does it feel like my friends are sleeping on this film????

also! "prey"!!!!! ohhhhh the future of horror looks bright! my favourite predator film, including the first one. it made my brain buzz, it was beautiful, it's incredibly blunt statement that the predator is barely a threat compared to rapidly expanding colonialism, the lead's journey is stellar and painful and punch-the-air and... great film

I got to spend a lot of january watching a film festival that centred on movies by indigenous people "from Turtle Island and around the world" (as it says on the website -- definitely and understandably mainly around america and canada). favourite of these was "honey moccasin" a fascinating little comedy movie that maybe predictably hooked me because it also had a queer focus within its portrayal of community

also at a local queer film festival, got to see "wildhood" a movie about a gay multiethnic mi’kmaw teen, who goes on a roadtrip looking for his mother -- think this is probably one that would be difficult to find otherwise, so youknow... check out local film festivals you never know what you'll see!

have gone on several rambles about "great freedom" and "joyland," movies that I watched relatively close together that have basically haunted me all year, acting as comparisons to nearly everything else I've seen -- think they've put ideas about queer stories in my head that are exemplified in a lot of queer writing and avant garde film-making, but often isn't seen on such a big scale, budget and quality-wise (this not to say the small-budget films are less worthy, it was just a bit heady to get to see these two and be blown over by their largeness). also something about a film that takes place in post-wwii germany and a film that takes place in modern-day pakistan feeling like they belong together to me. they're thematic, philosophical, political kin

got to go deeper into todd haynes, with "safe" and "poison" (yes yes we're super late to the todd haynes dive, but sometimes you just want to rewatch velvet goldmine a million times forever, so it takes you awhile to get to his other greatest hits). very excited to watch his latest film, sad i can't see it in theatres

watched quite a few queer documentaries, including "lotus sports club" (about a football club in indonesia run by a trans man, that provides a safe place to lesbians and trans boys), "you don't know dick" (interviews with trans men in the 90s), rose von praunheim's "transexual menace" (a sprawling, seemingly random depiction of trans people in the US -- a million amazing portraits), and "kokomo city" (a documentary about black trans women sex workers, directed by d smith, who is herself a black trans woman, music producer, excellent writer -- the way this movie is edited is so Vivid and you can tell there's so much freedom to really say things than in work that isn't community led. the philosophy, the politics, chatting while in the bath, that familiarity, that openness!)

in more classic musical news, got to see "the court jester" (only mildly a musical), "on the town" and its thematic successor "it's always fair weather," (gene kelly on rollerskates), and fiddler on the roof (finally) -- enjoyed all of them! shockingly low on musicals this year, but I intend to get inspired by @fabiansociety's list for the upcoming one

a few surprises for me were "streets of fire," which I've become mildly obsessed with, for being simply The Coolest Film you never watched as a kid (baby willem dafoe biker gang leader + music written by the guy who wrote for meatloaf and fleetwood mac??) it's just a straightup good time and also did this thing of writing a male role, casting a woman in it, and accidentally giving us a butch lesbian (with a line to make it seem like she had a boyfriend one time, but like... that doesn't take away her butch cred),

and also scorsese's "kundun," which I had no idea what to make of, because it didn't feel like a scorsese film at all. I think I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with scorsese in that I think his movies are frequently gorgeous, but his focus is almost always to the left of the people that interest me (that is, everyone around the white guys with guns who yell a lot). kundun is about the dalai lama and it is. very very anti-violence in its depiction of the invasion of tibet, because the POV is a pacifist who's shielded from seeing the violence, so the three scenes that briefly depict it are all the more shocking. and like... scorsese seems to have been coming at this movie from the perspective of education/plea for the freeing of tibet? which, yay, but... unexpected movie, that is all. also they speak english, although the actors are tibetan, including the grand nephew of the dalai lama portraying the dalai lama (I think this movie shouldn't be in english, but that is very cool). strange film, definitely watched a bootleg dvd copy with a completely wack aspect ratio that I couldn't format on the screen, but sometimes that's how you've gotta see something

a few classics. saw "jeanne dielman" for the first time, then utterly failed to describe it for everyone I talked about it with. I feel like saying "three hour long movie about a woman's repetitive life that is slowly, but surely, about to explode" is... idk, maybe it's going too much into detail. pointing out the static camera, the near-lack of dialogue, the scenes that simply consist of her sitting, and people instinctively go "oh that's a gimmick." but I also think if one can herald something like "orphee" or anything bergman did or "stalker," then this is not so off-putting (I found stalker to be a lot harder to focus on actually, which surprised me considering its subject matter). I know a lot smarter people than me have pointed out that what may truly be disturbing to people is the fact that we're following a life in such detail that isn't considered a valuable/interesting life to follow, especially not for so long. and that is... well that is just our internalised sexism. it's a good movie

this turned out quite long, but wanted to sit with some of these movies for a bit. I'd rec all of them, depending on personal preference and limitations

[drawingtigers]

An old ink painting on rabbit skin and a couple more recent drawings of the same god of Vila'hk, Ouza (deceased). Ouza is the Watcher, the knower of secrets, born in shadows, friend to the pantheon, co-creator of the god of dreams/nightmares, father of godbeasts and the sa'iyr people.

Bonus: the jackrabbit pictured above is also another (deceased) god, Ybayr, the messenger and god of wildhood, wonder & play:

[150151]

May I ask what some of your favorite romance movies are? Mine tend to be horror/horror-adjacent, regular heterosexual romance movies kill me.

mine tend to be horror adjacent too! but my favorite non-horror romance movies are

• wildhood (2021) — about a boy Link and his brother fleeing their abusive father and embark on a journey where Link discovers his sexuality and rediscovers his Mi'kmaw heritage.

• fire island (2022) — a cheesy gay adaptation of jane austens pride & prejudice about a group of best friends gathering in the Fire Island Pines

• while you were sleeping (1995) — about a woman who saves a man from being hit by a train and while he's in a coma his family mistakes her for his fiance and she doesn't correct them.. and things get more complicated when she starts to fall for his brother

• but i'm a cheerleader (1999)

• baz luhrmann's romeo + juliet (1996)

• pretty woman (1990)

• practical magic (1998)

• the watermelon woman (1996)

• me before you (2016)

• about time (2013)

some plots are.... alot ( about time and while you were sleeping) but some movies you just gotta watch with your brain off)

[olowan-waphiya]

Have you heard about Wildhood yet? I can’t NOT talk about it. I feel so emotional at seeing my own story on-screen, I cried through the whole thing (it’s not that sad; I’m just emotional), went to bed in tears, and woke up to cry some more.

It’s currently streaming as part of the Newfest Virtual Film Festival (until 6/6) but will be coming to Hulu 6/24 and it’s so good!!! Check out a trailer (TW for police violence and child abuse... only in the first act)

Happy Pride AND Indigenous History Month!!! (life may suck in general for the fam, but I’ll take the small victories where I can get them)

The trailer gave me goosebumps so I'm sure I would also be a mess watching it. No shame in being emotional over seeing yourself represented! I'd really like to watch it.

Much love to you, friend. Happy Pride!

[calliopesburn]

So you mentioned queer film and docs in some of your tags, may I ask if you have any specific recommendations?

thank u for asking i have SO MANY!!!!!!!!!!

i haven't actually checked but im 99% sure all of these films were definitely directed and likely also written by queer people; for context this top list is all new so look for film festivals that might be screening or streaming these virtually / below i added some older films that are more easy to find

New from the past year or two:

the one i mentioned in the post is one i definitely recommend - it's called Nelly & Nadine (doc) - two women fall in love in a concentration camp, survive, and live happily together - the documentary gets made when a queer grandkid finds old stuff and is like hrmmmm

Rule 34 - one of my favorite films ever honestly - a black sex worker (in brazil) gets into criminal law school (paid for by her sex work) and witnesses her own life and identity being constantly debated in the classroom while continuing her sex work and beginning to explore BDSM at night - she becomes increasingly erratic throughout the film in a way that culminates beautifully (talk about a chaos queer) an incredibly commentary on women's agency

Before I Change My Mind - i think it takes place in the 60s - a non-binary pre-teen kid moves from america to a small canadian town and struggles to make friends for .02 seconds before they set their sights on their crush and become a member of their toxic friend group - puts a whole new spin on 'coming of age'

Compulsus - a woman starts hunting down men who sexually assault women (from the descrip it says it never shows the actual assault that leads her to start striking back, only her committing violence)

Tahara - first of all the stop motion kiss scene still has me reeling. two jewish bffs attend a funeral and things get real awkward when they kiss 'for fun'

Framing Agnes (doc) - gender case studies from a 50's UCLA clinic are re-enacted by icons like Angelica Ross - incredible history

Wildhood - a two-spirit teen falls for another indigenous boy while he journeys with his brother to find their mom

Anything's Possible - Billy Porter's directorial debut - a muslim boy falls for a trans girl and takes his shot even though he knows people will freak out (and they do) but it's really affirming and supportive and lovely and funny <3

Esther Newton Made Me Gay (doc) - ok wanna talk about queer history?? Esther Newton was the first person to ever write about drag culture from an anthropological perspective PERIOD. i think if i remember correctly she was fired from parsons, and was on very thin ice for a long time with her career - but even still she wrote and paved the way for queer academia - writing about fire island, cherry grove, the drag scene, and more!!!!! she also identifies as a butch lesbian/between genders and this film is so incredible for the lesbians - you really need to hear her talk about gender, about butchness and femmeness - ALSO you get to see her childhood growing up in the early 1900's as a queer person and it's incredible, you'll cry but like in a GOOD cathartic way

Sleep With Me (series) - a soapy sapphic thai romance between two disabled women - one in a wheelchair and another with a rare sleep disorder. this will literally give you every cute soapy sapphic moment you could ask for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl Picture - lesbians watch this one!!!!!!!! this is a ROMANCE!!!!!! there were scenes where i was like omg!!!!!!! when you never realize how desperately ur craving a certain style - just watch the trailer please ; also asexuals u should watch this one too :) (just to be clear though the asexual character is straight, not the sapphic romance)

Mama Bears (doc) - this doc will also make u cry but in a really fucking good way. this is a doc on christian parents who used to be conservative and homophobic before changing perspectives after their kids come out. most notable is Kai (though she also chooses the name Esther for herself <3, based on her favorite person in the Bible), a trans girl who talks about coming out to her mom as a girl as young as 3 years old, and in spite of the abuse she was put through, she kept saying it and her mom eventually realized she could either lose her "son" forever, or accept and love her daughter. im tearing up writing this - her mom gave up her entire family to literally save her daughters life - and she did.

Nana's Boys - two black men are about to get engaged when the city goes on lockdown and their relationship is put to the test - truths come out and the gorgeous twists and turns of their relationship really shows the gentleness and supportiveness of queer relationships (it's called nana's boys because they were both raised by their grandmas <3)

Unidentified Objects - a lovely film about two neighbors who take an unexpected road trip - their lives of course changing forever as a result. one of the characters is a gay little person who's mourning the death of a close friend and the other is a sex worker who is looking for the aliens who took her when she was a kid (yes that's literally the plot) it's wonderfully well written and has one of those endings that'll send you reeling

New - haven't seen but on my list:

The First Fallen - a narrative story that follows a group a friends as the first wave of the AIDS epidemic approaches in Peru <3

All the Beauty and the Bloodshed (doc) - you'll likely hear about this as its Laura Poitras' new film, it's about Nan Goldin

Stupid for You - a sapphic girl musical????????????????????

Way Down - an episodic on a bunch of friends trying to be musicians - the lead is non-binary in a romance with various ladies and i think everyone else in the band is queer too

The Blue Caftan - a tailor in morocco lives happily closeted with his wife until they hire a sexy assistant

The Inspection - a gay man enters the military and finds unexpected support and family

El Houb - can only remember that it's a muslim guy who comes out to his dad but is a dark comedy (he literally runs into the closet at a point in the film)

My Emptiness and I - a newly out transfemme woman navigates life and dating and surgery

Moneyboys - two gay men in i think taiwan?

so in general i highly recommend paying attention to queer film festivals - newfest, frameline, and outfest are the major US ones (they only stream in the US but im pretty sure you can use a vpn) inside out is a canadian one; most of them stream now!!!! like 80% of their films are available to stream for a short duration so sign up for their email lists and mark their festivals on your calendars because if you pay attention to these you'll start to see actual queer stories written and directed by queer people!!!!!!!!

also consider watching shorts programs - some of the most impactful films ive been seeing have been shorts (there's one called Dress Up that has been glued into the back of my skull for like 2 months) and shorts are basically seeing into the future of queer film and a lot of them are amazing so highly recommend!!!!!!!

-

For things currently streaming or easy to find and download:

Fantasy of the Girls (2017/2018 depending where you look) thrilled to list this one as it's actually the film that made me realize im a lesbian :) full film is also on YT

The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love dir Maria Maggenti (1995)

Saving Face (2000) and The Half of It - dir Alice Wu

The Watermelon Woman (1996)

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (late 90s i think)

Fire (1996)

Desert Hearts (1985)

The Velvet Vampire - feels like jennifer's body but in 1971 with a vampire who wants to have sex/kill both ppl in a married couple (dir. by a woman; haven't seen this yet though)

Chutney Popcorn (1999)

Paris is Burning (1990)

Brother to Brother (2004) (anthony mackie)

Pariah

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

The Miseducation of Cameron Post (a sad one but chloe moretz dated the girl from the film and the director is queer - incredible film)

Lingua Franca

Fire Island

Naz & Maalik

The Obituary of Tunde Johnson

Firstness

Firebird

See You Then

Ammonite

No Hard Feelings

Shiva Baby

Flee

Passing

--

so in general i highly recommend paying attention to queer film festivals - newfest, frameline, and outfest are the major US ones (they only stream in the US but im pretty sure you can use a vpn) inside out is a canadian one; most of them stream now!!!! like 80% of their films are available to stream for a short duration so sign up for their email lists and mark their festivals on your calendars because if you pay attention to these you'll start to see actual queer stories written and directed by queer people!!!!!!!!

also consider watching shorts programs - some of the most impactful films ive been seeing have been shorts (there's one that has been glued into the back of my skull for like 2 months) and shorts are basically seeing into the future of queer film and a lot of them are amazing so highly recommend!!!!!!!

[laresearchette]

Friday, December 15, 2023 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: THE FAMILY PLAN (Apple TV +) FINESTKIND (Paramount +) JOE BOB'S CREEPY CHRISTMAS (Shudder) THE SECRET GIFT OF CHRISTMAS (W Network) 8:00pm 50TH ANNUAL DAYTIME EMMY AWARDS (Global) 9:00pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT? NATIONAL CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING (CBS Feed) 91ST ANNUAL HOLLYWOOD CHRISTMAS PARADE (CW Feed)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA REACHER (Season 2)

CBC GEM BARDOT

CRAVE TV CHRISTMAS IS YOU CHRISTMAS ON WINDMILL WAY EDWARD SCISSORHANDS GOOSE GREEN LANTERN GROUNDHOG DAY THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS JINGLE BELL PRINCESS LES AFFAMÉS LIFE OF PI PARANORMAL REVENGE (Season 1) RACETIME REGINALD THE VAMPIRE (Season 1) TOM AT THE FARM WILDHOOD

NETFLIX CANADA ARCHER (Season 14 - finale season) CAROL & THE END OF THE WORLD CHICKEN RUN: DAWN OF THE NUGGET (GB) FACE TO FACE WITH ETA: CONVERSATIONS WITH A TERRORIST (ES) FAMILIA (MX) GET SANTA PAW PATROL (Season 10) YOH’ CHRISTMAS (ZA)

GRAND SLAM OF CURLING (SN) 12:30pm: Masters - Draw 14 (SN) 4:30pm: Masters - Draw 15 (SN1) 8:30pm: Masters - Draw 16

THE JINGLE BELL JUBILEE (CTV Life) 6:00pm: A city manager recruits the help of a childhood friend to save his town's Christmas charity event, while she attempts to set him up with her close friend.

NHL HOCKEY (SN) 7:30pm: Bruins vs. Islanders (TSN5) 8:00pm: Sens vs. Stars

NBA BASKETBALL (SN Now) 7:30pm: Lakers vs. Spurs (TSN/TSN3/TSN4) 7:30pm: Hawks vs. Raptors (TSN3) 10:00pm: Knicks vs. Suns

OPEN SEASON: CALL OF NATURE (Family Channel Canada) 7:30pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Boog and Elliot open up a hair salon, and soon find that their new enterprise has attracted the attentions of the local gangster Woolly the Bully; Karla is forced to reveal her greatest talent and greatest shame to everyone.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1999) (CBC) 8:00pm: Dickens' Ebenezer Scrooge (Patrick Stewart) receives visits from three Christmas spirits who show him his past, present and future.

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (CTV2) 8:00pm: A former actress takes charge of a town's annual Christmas Eve courtroom production, in which the true authorship of the famous poem "A Visit From St. Nick" is debated.

A CHRISTMAS FOR THE AGES (CTV Life) 8:00pm: Prompted by their youngest granddaughter, four generations of women celebrate Christmas and family in the style of the 40s, 60s, 90s, and today.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF JERSEY (Slice) 8:00pm: Bite Me, I'll Bite Back

THE SEARCH FOR SECRET SANTA (Super Channel Heart & Home) 8:00pm: Cub reporter Sofia thinks she's found a Christmas story that will save her career when she discovers a long-lost, undelivered Secret Santa gift addressed from B. to Claire.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES: ULTIMATE GIRLS TRIP (Slice) 9:00pm/10:15pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Former New York City Housewives Dorinda, Kelly, Kristen, Luann, Ramona and Sonja reunite for a week in St. Barts; Kristen and Dorinda get off on the wrong foot; Kelly is concerned that Kristen seems more like a fan than a Housewife. In Episode Two, at the beach, the ladies discuss Sonja's communication skills and revisit the infamous Scary Island; Luann hosts a seafood dinner where Sonja questions Kristen's marriage; some handsome young men join the ladies for a house party.

MATRIARCH OF MURDER? (Investigation Discovery) 9:00pm: When an innocent young mother turns up dead on the tracks, the small town of Findlay, Ohio, must figure out who would take the life of such a kind soul.

BABYLON 5: THE ROAD HOME (adult swim) 9:00pm: John Sheridan unexpectedly finds himself transported through multiple timelines and alternate realities. Along the way, he reunites with some familiar faces and discovers cosmic new revelations about the history, purpose and meaning of the universe.

THE BLACKENING (Crave) 9:00pm: A group of old college friends reunite for a Juneteenth weekend getaway, only to find themselves trapped in a remote cabin with a twisted killer. Forced to play by his rules, they soon realize this isn't a game.

[statichvm]

oc tag.

i was tagged by @lustyargonianmaid to do some oc clownery and here we are..

throwing tags at @jackiesarch @ma-sulevin @red-nightskies @lxmbert @raisinghellinotherworlds @ottobooty @radlurk @chuckhansen @queennymeria @teamhawkeye @chyrstis @faithchel @consumedkings @jmcolt @prometheas @shadowglens and @simonxriley

name: juliana maria oliveira. 
alias/nicknames: ju, jules, julie. 
gender: cis female. 
age: 35 (at time of outbreak), 37 (s8)
zodiac: scorpio. 
abilities/talents: combat, specializing in close quarters and melee. creating and setting effective traps for the living and the dead. basic first aid, including giving stitches and setting broken bones. crafting crude weapons from unconventional materials.

alignment:  lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true
religion: loosely christian with frequent wavering faith and doubts. juliana hasn’t attended church since she was a teenager, and has no interest in doing so now. 
sins:  envy / greed / gluttony / lust / pride / sloth / wrath
virtues:  charity / chastity / diligence / humility / justice / kindness / patience
languages: mainly english, though she’s also fluent in both spanish and brazilian portuguese through speaking it at home with either side of her family. 
family: mariana oliveira (mother, deceased), tomás oliveira (father, presumed deceased), catarina oliveira (sister, deceased), jackson and bo oliveira (verse dependent children with dwight, alive), eliza and reyna oliveira (verse dependent children with negan, alive)
friends: making genuine friends in the saviors proved to be difficult for a score of reasons, but she considers laura and dwight her best friends throughout her time there. 
sexuality:  heterosexual / bisexual / pansexual / homosexual / demisexual / asexual / unsure / other
relationship status: single / dating / married / widowed / open relationship / divorced / not ready for dating / it’s complicated
libido:  sex god / very high / high / average / low / very low / non-existent
build:  slender / average / athletic / muscular / curvy
hair:  white / blonde / brunette / red / black / other
eyes: brown / blue-gray / green / black / other
skin: pale / fair / olive / light brown / brown / dark / other
height: 5’4”
scars: one large scar spanning the length of her stomach above her belly button horizontally, acquired during an attack/robbery she survived early in the outbreak. a small bullet wound on her right bicep acquired during s6. a long scar from the top of her hand snaking down to her wrist acquired during s8. various smaller scars on her arms, legs, and hands acquired after the outbreak. 
facial features:

dogs or cats
birds or bugs
snakes or spiders
coffee or tea
ice cream or cake
fruits or vegetables
sandwich or soup
magic or melee
sword or bow
summer or winter
spring or autumn
past or future
five songs that remind you of them:

lividity / nicole dollanganger

punisher / dollie rot

double dark / wildhood

cop car / mitski

you want it darker / anita lester

[itsmyfriendisaac]

All Fall Down   (1962)

Baby Boy   (2001)

Beautiful Thing   (1996)

Big Eden   (2000)

Bird   (1988)

Blue Denim   (1959)

But I’m A Cheerleader   (1999)

Claudine   (1974)

Coming To America   (1988)

The Count Of Monte Cristo   (2002)

Cruel Intentions   (1999)

Cry-Baby   (1990)

Edward Scissorhands   (1990)

Eyes Wide Shut   (1999)

Front Cover   (2015)

The Gene Krupa Story   (1959)

Good Fences   (2003)

Happy Together   (1997)

Hard Paint   (2018)

Heartbeats   (2010)

A Home At The End Of The World   (2004)

I Killed My Mother   (2009)

The King & The Clown   (2005)

I Like It Like That   (1994)

I'm A Cyborg, But That's OK   (2006)

Indignation   (2016)

The Inkwell    (1994)

It's A Boy Girl Thing   (2006)

Just Friends   (2018)

La Bamba   (1987)

Life Like   (2019)

Lost In Paradise   (2011)

The Love Of Siam   (2007)

Mambo Italiano   (2003)

Matthias & Maxime   (2019)

Method   (2017)

My Beautiful Laundrette   (1985)

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist   (2008)

The Night Before   (1988)

No Ordinary Love   (1994)

No Regret    (2006)

The Object Of My Affection   (1998)

Priest   (1994)

Purple Rain   (1984)

Raising Victor Vargas   (2002)

Shameless   (2011)

Soldier’s Girl    (2003)

Tinta Bruta   (2018)

The Torch Song Trilogy   (1988)

Trick   (1999)

Uncle Frank   (2020)

Wildhood   (2021)

Y tu Mamá También   (2001)

(500) Days Of Summer   (2009)

[variousqueerthings]

after 3 straight days of queer movie-watching at the festival (with an interlude to play some football) and my brain being overloaded with Stimulus, feel like I need to compile my thoughts on the experience overall: 

1. lotta DIY work, which is a great reminder that if you want to make, you can + opens up conversation around how institutions do not fund this kind of work (in the UK especially there’s a limit to spaces one can go for funding). the real experimentation/cinematic bravery isn’t happening for half a billion dollars, it’s being done on a shoe-string budget. that being said, one really wishes there was more money to be had in this, simply because it would make people able to live off the work and make much more

2. lot of sports-related stuff, both fiction and documentary, which is funny considering where a lot of my own focus is these days. also got to meet Verity Smith, which was a bit of a hero-moment, and he gave a lot of great info on the state of sports nationally and internationally. and yeah, I got to play football for the first time in 10 years!

3. generally met a lot of great people. I think the idea about “networking” as it’s been presented to me as an artist (including the word itself) is still a big problem, and will always be. it’s got too many concepts baked into it that don’t gel with the kind of work I do in the communities I do it in + my particular flavour of brain, but that being said -- once I realised that there are spaces where meeting/connecting with people in your specific field of work, where this aligns with queer practise of shared needs for what that work represents and is for, then yeah, I kind of got what networking was all about. So I could talk freely about my own work + listen to theirs, and not feel like we were just sussing out how we could use one another to get ahead 

when I was studying, there wasn’t this kind of... idk, discussion of ways that working in an arts industry -- with all of its [waves hands at the microcosm of any and all industries and life that is in the mainstream run by capitalist colonialist patriarchy] many many issues -- can be interacted with from different perspectives, so it’s neat to be able to find ways to do that by simply being in spaces like these

4. watched both wildhood and set it off as my main two fiction features (the others I either couldn’t make it for or missed parts of due to overlapping events). the former feels like a wonderful breath of air + fits into a space of both canadian first nations cinema that I’ve been lucky enough to get to watch, and queer cinema. the movies are getting made and they are good -- one does have to look for them/be active in spaces where they would likely be disseminated, which tbh is also an ethos of artistic engagement + community engagement that I’m very in favour of anyway. in order to get to the deeper stuff, it doesn’t do to simply sit back and wait for it to arrive. it does exist! go find it! 

also the sex scene in it was 👀👀👀 smthinsmthin water as metaphor belongs to the queers

also I’d been wanting to watch set it off for ages, as (only?) the second lesbian crime movie, next to bound. set it off isn’t technically centred on lesbians, but one of the leads is openly shown to be a stud/butch, and she’s respected/liked by her friends. I’m curious about how this film feels to the Black lesbian community and perhaps Black film-goers as a whole, since [spoilers] it’s got a fair bit of police violence and very little in the way of happy endings. 

where I sit with it, is that it’s criminally (ha) underrated and oughta be discussed in the same breath of compelling characters that exist in heat and dog day afternoon -- the bittersweet-at-best tragic ending fits with the general tone of this specific take on the genre (the non-oceans-movies versions tend to have mixed-to-tragic endings), although the violence does hit closer to home/more realistically than in most other heist films. and all the main characters are So So Cool, which is important for a good heist film! 

5. also got to watch two documentaries about older queers, one about the history of the Chicago bar “sidetrack” and the other about older queer people in Ireland. These connections and stories are so vital, and queer-cinema-as-documentation feels like one of the most queer things one can do. We love a documentary, because we’re trying to make sure those connections are built, that we don’t forget our pasts, that we have roots. there are people from whom we have these torches passed, and they’re our elders, even across continents.

also thank you to that lesbian couple acknowledging that young people are really struggling with money in this modern capitalism. definitely feels like it puts the work of the festival I was at into perspective -- with spaces closing and difficulty in renting (especially in cities), we need to find ways to open up spaces for one another

6. also I had a little curated archive piece up there and people said nice things to me about it 😭😭😭

[palettesofrenaissance]

11, 18, and 27 from the song asks!! 🎵🎶

11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack: these are the first that come to mind 

“a town with an ocean view” by joe hisaishi (from kiki’s delivery service)

“the secret swim” / “the crystal chamber” by james newton howard “from  atlantis the lost empire)

“warrior” by chloe x halle (from a wrinkle in time)

18. three songs that remind you of your best friend: 

“the golden age” by the astroid galaxy tour

“I've had the time of my life” by bill medley, jennifer warnes

“bloodsport ‘15” by raleigh ritchie

27. three songs that you sing while drunk: I don’t actually sing when I'm drunk. since it is usually at night, I am listening to my playlist on spotify so I can give you my current top three favorites from it

“where have you been?” by wildhood

“equinox” by brandon

“single on the weekend” by marcos g

[sunshine-superhero]

Wildhood

On July 2, 2019 I got on a plane without any adult supervision or assistance, something I have never done before.

I had just graduated high school and was eager to show some friends a place that has been both an adventure destination and a source of soul food for me these past 19 years. 

My parents first took me to Victoria, BC when I was just a mere tot. I ran through the misty rain forests and splashed in the freezing ocean which installed in me the need to be by the sea. Since then, the years have been peppered with visits that have shone a beacon of hope through the harsh Saskatchewan climate. 

When it came time for me and some friends to plan the illusive “grad trip” I immediately suggested Victoria. It was far enough away to be exciting and affordable enough to be possible. So after all the bags were packed and the last minute panics dealt with (”we’re going with out a full fledged adult! AH!”) we boarded a jet bond for BC. 

Upon arrival I was again taken with the lush green of the garden city. It’s quite incredible how an urban centre is able to keep its natural aesthetic while providing 86,000 people with lodging. The houses and public centres seem to cohesively mix with the craggy rocks and harsh majesty of the ocean. It does my heart and soul good to see a city so in touch with its roots.

The week we spent in Victoria was full of intrigue and adventure; going to local markets, eating blueberries by the ocean, and enjoying the company of my friends. But undoubtedly my favourite part of the experience was being in nature. being able to scramble over rocks and wade in the water while tasting the salt on your lips. There is no substitution for being in the wild. 

 I watched a wonderful movie recently called Dare to Be Wild (2015) directed by  Vivienne De Courcy. It centres around Mary Reynold's, a young garden designer, who attempts to educate people on the importance of wild spaces in a world that is rapidly leaning towards industrialism. 

Watching this movie made me think of my early childhood. When I was young it was so easy to just run out the front door and keep running till I found a field or stream to play in. It was simple, instinctual to reconnect with the natural world; touching soft moss growing on a stump, hearing the rustle of leaves or feeling the warm earth underfoot. 

Now-a-days it seems something has changed. We actively avoid wild spaces because they do not support the omnipresent “digital world”. We hide away in our glass towers and concrete juggles and focus on what really matters: money, power, and influence. Then we go home and read self help books and try to teach ourselves to be grounded when ironically our feet never really touch the ground. And I’m not talking about cement or a turfed lawn, I’m talking about REAL SOIL! made from the fibers of grandmother plants thats been churned by gnarled roots and baked by the sun. I’m talking about touching the same ground that was touched and cared for by our ancestors. 

It terrifies me that this same ground is disappearing. the WILD is disappearing. That maybe someday our children or our grandchildren won’t get the chance to run like the wind in a field of wild flowers or touch the moss of a long forgotten tree. 

I just can’t let this happen. I won’t.

Please help bring back the wild.

Go outside and work in it, play in it... LIVE in it. explore a hidden forest path or jump in a secret lake. Teach your friends, children, grandchildren, to love and respect it. Take care of our earth because she is our common ancestor, our mother, the one who truly connects us. Be the start of a revolution. A dirty, weedy, revolution that will empower not only the wild but also each other.

Don’t wait!

Discover wildhood.

[hecallsmehischild]

Please Don’t.

There’s a thing that happens to me on occasion and I’m not talking sideways to any one person, here, there have been a few people who have done this and I’m flat out saying that if you do this, please do not and here’s why it bothers me.

I’ve been approached a few times online by people who I’m sure are very well meaning and maybe even had to work up courage to talk to me, but they started talking to me with one purpose in mind that becomes apparent within no more than 6 exchanges: They want me to read their fanfiction or beta their story. Within six exchanges or less I am asked to do one of these things by someone I’ve never heard of before, usually either in a writing stream I opened up or through a review left on my fanfiction, which ends up also feeling like a calculated move to place me in debt to the reader beyond the multiple ongoing free stories I am providing updates for as often as I am able.

I feel misled and manipulated every time this happens, and also very frustrated. I really try not to push my fanfics at anyone who hasn’t asked or anyone I haven’t built a longstanding interaction with. I feel like the people who do this are walking up to me and trying to push the right button to get something they want with no regard for my time or even my interests. Whether this is the person’s intent or not, I end up feeling used.

I beta and read fanfiction for long-standing friends with whom I’ve established a rapport. I take time to do a capital “Q” Quality job to the best of my ability. Some friends, because I want to support them this much, I will actually delve into brand new source material I would otherwise have never touched on just so I can read their stuff (looking at you, @pipefoxesonthemoon and @r5h). Happy to bandy about headcanons and writing this-and-thats and ideas all day long (@undead0relived, you know it).

But the truth is that reading a new fanfiction, especially with the expectation that I’m supposed to leave a review and possibly help with critique, or beta read to catch errors and story issues, is a lot of work. And what if my opinion isn’t what the person wants to hear? More often than not, my honest opinion isn’t what people have wanted to hear from me, they have wanted only positivity. So yes, I am also very picky with what I take on for that reason, because I need to know the other person can handle my honest critique as well as my positivity.

Also, did you know that I charge for beta reading? I charge (payment or barter) for beta reading unless there’s already a mutual beta reading agreement going on (Books I have edited: Beauty in the Beast by Sally Klein O’Connor, After The Fall by the recently deceased Jack Fischer. Multiple essays and short fiction pieces both published and in submission by Megan Wildhood. Also, not-yet-published novel manuscripts from @yolaron and Megan Wildhood). I have bartered services with, been paid by, or established a really deep relationship with these people. So you have approached me, again, and asked me to do things for you for free when you don’t even bother to establish a relationship. Like people who walk up to artists and ask them for free art, which has been loudly established on Tumblr as “Very Rude.”

Please stop asking me to read your fanfiction or beta your writing for free. It is very frustrating and I feel demeaned and used every time it happens.

[invisible-arcs]

 Autism + “Acting”

In her article What Does It Mean to ‘Look Autistic’?, M. Nicole R. Wildhood wrote,

“When my friend told me I don’t look autistic, he was essentially affirming my constructed normalcy, my ability to fake it. In high school, I would have relished in this aptitude to appear ‘same,’ and would have taken his remark as a compliment. But I’ve come to realize that each attempts to somehow make myself more ‘acceptable' to someone else, more lovable, has left me with what is, in the end, a false connection. […] I may not 'look autistic' from the outside, but if you see with my eyes, I do.”

(That’s one of my favorite articles btw. It’s worth reading.)

ACTING, to me, is that “aptitude to appear same.” It means maintaining a public persona and interacting with society throughout my sensory discomfort, while also hiding my discomfort. Acting helps me “fit in” but also makes me sad and tired.

Most of my acting happens at work (where we must do the capitalism dance, which is a very NT dance). This includes things like: wearing uncomfortable clothing, sitting upright in a chair, ignoring whatever temperature/texture problems I might be having, trying to determine and give the right amount of eye contact, trying to picture how my face looks, nodding, preventing myself from fidgeting, trying to tell when it’s my turn to speak, trying to say appropriate things, trying to remember/record instructions I will need later, remembering each person’s style of small talk, and monitoring the volume and tone of my voice.

All of that is so exhausting, and that’s not even technically including any of the stuff in my job description.

I am always trying to find the happy medium between professionalism and personal comfort, but it’s difficult. Instead, I often feel like I am sacrificing both.

The biggest irony, of course, is that after years of practice, a lot of us can improve our acting skills... which means not a lot of people see the effort that goes into it. It is completely internal. When I come off as authentic and approachable at work, when I appear to blend in seamlessly, when I seem to be carefree, that’s actually me at my most controlled — my most “fake” version of myself.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯