#will it be before I've spoiled everything in snippets?

[dreamyelectronicmusic]

Sunday Snippet

Then he’s in Milan, his last stop in Italy, and he thinks his luck may have run out. After three rejections, he’s all but given up his little photo op up as a bad job. He can try again in Paris. In the late afternoon, he sits on a bench in Parco Sempione with a view of the Arco della Pace, giving himself a bit of a break after a long day of exploring the city. That’s when he sees him: a man about his age reading a book on a bench diagonally from Simon, incessantly pushing his hair out of his eyes. It’s the movement of his arm as he does it that catches Simon’s attention: the man is wearing a tanktop, and let’s just say Simon is not immune to a nice pair of arms. No crazy bulk, but just enough definition to know that someone has been lifting weights. Simon doesn’t consider himself a shallow person, but this thing he’s doing is shallow in itself. If he’s going to kiss strangers, he might as well kiss those he likes the look of. And he definitely likes the look of this one.

The man straightens from his hunched-over reading position that his neck muscles must have started protesting to, bringing his book up to eye level. This reveals to Simon that his tanktop has a picture of a cartoon frog on it that Simon finds strangely adorable, and that the book is Casey McQuiston’s latest release, which tells Simon that this man is at the very least not homophobic and speaks English. And that turns out to be the only encouragement he needs to give Milan one more chance. He gets up and slowly walks over.

The man clearly isn’t engrossed in his book enough not to notice someone approaching him. He looks up when Simon gets close, and fuck, he really isn’t bad at closer range, either.

“Hi,” Simon says cheerily, putting on a smile. “Sorry, this is a bit weird, but I was wondering if I could ask you a slightly unusual favour?”

The cute guy blinks up at him with (unfairly pretty) wide eyes, his mouth sliding open but no words coming out long enough for Simon to start wondering if he’s miscalculated. But then he seems to shake himself out of whatever trance he’s fallen into, his hands holding the book dropping into his lap.

“Oh, um,” he stammers. “Yes, that’s, uh – sure.”

[syckubota]

illustrated some comic pages based off some writing i have. sketches and flat ink process (alongside a long-winded info-dump) below :)

I'm a little shy about it, but I've been getting into fun self-insert stuff lately. Fallout 4 is truly a dating sim game...

The character in this comic is supposed to be fairly reflective of real-life me, but there's sort of an alternate-universe catch to them; They're like a time capsule of the me in October, 2024. So, there's certain bits of wisdom and knowledge, of which I that have now, that they don't. Essentially, they're prone to making blunders, and still have personal developments to make. I've been having lotsa fun exploring this concept!

The premise of my writing/story is that in another universe, on October 23, 2024, they wake up in Sanctuary Hills, October 23, 2287. This version of me is from our world, so they are heavily under-prepared for surviving the wasteland, and their only advantage is the fact that they have decent knowledge about the Fallout world (due to their fixation on it). They have to navigate this much more brutal environment, coupled with their personal vices and difficulties, including but not limited to the horror of being mysteriously ripped out of their own world. Their social-psychological struggles inadvertently leads to them deciding that lying about their origins was the best course of action. This alternate me initially white-lies about being a psychic, until it spirals out of control and they end up having to break the truth to everyone they've lied to. Nate is also released from Vault 111, and this alternate me has the honors of spoiling the Institute's grand looming scheme, after a bit of convincing.

The specific context behind this scene/snippet depicted in the comic, is that this alternate me hired MacCready, to not only have an experienced wastelander backing them up, but to also, hopefully begin assisting him with his struggles. They let it be known that they have (an unspecified amount of) knowledge about his life, but they still lied to him about where they were coming from, just how much they knew--and--their plans to help him. This me was also strongly in denial about their fascination and affection for him, so they were actively fighting a crush the whole time. They were hoping to help him and get on with their life elsewhere, and hopefully with someone else.

This alternate me planned to clear out the warehouses and to collect scrap for land development, with MacCready's help. They end up explaining a bit about their Minuteman-aligned land development goals, and unintentionally let on that they knew about MacCready's tragedy. When MacCready realizes this, there comes an awkward tension, because he is left blind-sided trying to process everything, and this me is extremely worried he took the information poorly, and may refuse their offer to help. This alternate me feels the need to be avoidant with him, and decides to get the job over with, the sooner the better.

However, since this alternate me was distracted with being evasive to their hired help, they had gotten careless, resulting in a heavily bleeding wound.

For further context, and before I continue, MacCready already sort of felt like he could resign his social-emotional walls to this alternate me. This was due to the fact that they already knew quite a bit about him, but didn't do anything to betray/exploit him. This alternate me also invited him to ask for whatever information he wanted back from them, to keep things fair and square. So, as a result, over the day he'd gotten to know them, he already felt some sense of kinship with them.

This leads back to this scene. MacCready simply offers to check and wrap up the wound (thus the vodka, rag, and bandages). This alternate me is already confused as to why he's being so friendly already, and they have some conversation, but it inadvertently leads back to the awkward tension they were feeling earlier; this alternate me comes clean about how much they actually knew about his life, and their intentions to turn things around for him, but they still hide the exact details of where they truly came from, unsure if it was the right time to do so.

MacCready understands. Taking their word, he truly believes this me was a person from his world, blessed with 'the sight', who was going out of their way to find the solutions to the near hopeless issues that had been eating away at him. Instead of feeling scorn or disturbance, he's glad to be understood, and have a way out of the hole he's in--it is an insanely cathartic thing for him, and he expresses his relief and gratitude accordingly. But this me knows that they were still lying to his face about their own past, and feels that their acts aren't deserving of such high praise. Instead of being able to fully appreciate his gratitude, they carry an immense guilt for their disingenuity, alongside deep humility about themself. There's nothing like being the cause of your own problems.

Anyways, TLDR: I turned myself into an original character and I'm torturing them here! 😁

to further explain why this alternate me didn't just stick a stimpak in themself so they wouldn't have needed help checking their wound:

stims are expensive. YES i know Boston is a stimpak trove but bro just got here...

stims were originally intended as healing aids, and this alternate me realistically needed stitches first. It was also the only wound they got; nor was it severe enough to call for one right away. YES i know that's not how the game treats stimpaks, though.

[fabbyf1]

happy saturday, besties!

i hope you're having a great day wherever you are in the world.

as you all know, i've been really going through it the past week. first the hurricane, then the multi-day power outage, then trying to get my life and house back to normal afterward. i had to throw away hundreds of dollars of food that spoiled (RIP money i luv u) but at least it was a great opportunity to deep clean the fridge. and, like i mentioned before, i am very very very thankful to have no physical damage to my life or property.

ANYWAY... thank you all for your patience while i get my life together. i know a lot of you are looking forward to the next chapter of the mastermind fic, and i promise i've been slowly working on it when i have time! not that anybody is rushing me; you all have been very kind and patient with me.

i'm hoping to have this chapter finished within the next couple of days as a reward to myself for doing all the not-so-fun things around the house.

in the meantime...

snippet under the cut!

After Singapore, Max flew home to Monaco. 

They had almost a month off before the next race, which gave him plenty of time to get a fucking grip. He needed to find a way to move on with his life and stop thinking about what happened, or he might actually lose his mind. He had received plenty of blow jobs over the years that he never thought twice about; why couldn’t this have been one of them?! 

It wasn’t even supposed to be a real blow job! 

Charles didn’t suck his dick because he was attracted to him; he was just trying to prove he wasn’t bad at it. Max was just a prop in his learning experience. It wasn’t like they had this irresistible chemistry between them that they finally acted on. They had never flirted, teased, or even gotten close to anything resembling a potential hook-up! 

Max was just someone with a dick that Charles felt comfortable enough with to ask for a favor. 

And, like, sure... he let him come... 

And... seemed to really enjoy swallowing his come... 

But that was because he had manners! 

Of course he let him come. It would have been rude of him to leave Max hanging after he had gone out of his way to do him a very awkward favor, and Charles Leclerc was not rude. He was kind, and polite, and funny, and hot—no! Not hot! 

He was... 

Fuck. 

Okay. 

He was hot. 

But Max knew plenty of hot people! 

Most of the people in his friend group, both men and women, were objectively very hot. The entire city of Monaco was full of people he would consider attractive. It didn’t have to mean anything. 

Just because a really hot person sucked his dick didn’t mean that he had to think about it for the rest of his life. 

He just needed a few weeks off to reset his brain, and everything would be fine. 

There were plenty of things to do that didn’t involve his cock in Charles’ mouth. He could play with the cats, or sleep until noon, or finally watch that TV series his sister had been bugging him about for months. He could play video games, or do some iRacing with Team Redline, or learn how to fucking cross-stitch or something. 

He was young, rich, and successful; the world was his oyster! 

He just needed a few weeks of uninterrupted me time, and everything would be fine!!!

[googleitlol]

Revisiting King's Crown got me inspired to write something from the future, a little snippet of when it's almost the end of the journey. It happens at a point where Dove isn't in the best of head spaces, she's learned stuff that has her questioning a lot, so Wukong takes her for a little vacation to Flower Fruit Mountain.

I've cut around some specifics just so I don't spoil too much of the later plot, but I rlly wanted to share this piece. There's angst, not a whole lotta self-love going on, but there's some comfort in there so hopefully that makes up for all the sad stuff 🫶

Dove Masterlist:

Why?

The moon shines over Flower Fruit, full and bright. The stars accompanying it in the night sky twinkle overhead, a faint breeze leaving a cover of bumps over your arms. Despite the slight chill, it is very welcomed after your day in the summer heat. There are barely any clouds in the sky, it’s a perfect way to end the night. With the blanket of night, there is barely a whisper of another soul on the grassy landscape you lay on with the king of the mountain.

Your Peaches is the one who suggested stargazing, he lays just underneath you, his shirt discarded a few metres away. You lie with your head on his chest, a hand rests just over his stomach as you take in the sky’s tableau. One of his arms wraps over your midsection, keeping you close while his tail thumps slowly and rhythmically over the ground. His head lays on his other arm, and he keeps a knee propped up while he looks up to the sky.

The world is silent as you watch the stars. They move so slowly in the mortal realm compared to the Jade Palace. Up there, the stars race through the sky like an ocean current, slowing for no one. Down here, they inch across the sky so slowly, their movement is barely even noticeable. If only it could all be that slow, if only this could never end. How wonderful it would be if this journey could go on for eternity. You would rather cross a thousand rivers, climb a never-ending mountain than have it end so soon. But you need to do this, whether you want to or not. It’s for the better, for everyone.

“So?” Wukong hums from under you, it’s easy to feel his eyes on the top of your head. “Has today been worth it?” He asks, but you can’t answer him right away. You look up at him from your spot on his chest, soaking in the warmth from his body. The slow rise and fall of each breath he takes is comforting.

Everything about right now feels perfect, Sun Wukong has made today so calm. It feels as though he could soothe all your worries in a moment like this, just stay how you are forever. But you can’t. You can’t allow yourself to enjoy today, enjoy all of this. Not after everything you know now. “Why?”

Peaches looks down at you, his warm smile enough to cause the butterflies in your stomach to stir. “Care to elaborate?” His smile carries to his eyes, those beautiful sunset eyes. Looking into them, all your anxieties could melt away.

Then your gaze travels up, to the gold encircling his head. “Why bring me here today?” You ask, your brows furrowed with worry.

He answers your question with one of his own. “This is your future home, isn’t it? Or should I be expecting one of us to commute between my mountain and that bodhisattva’s?”

“…I’m not going back to Potalaka.” You look back out to the sky, the stars in the same position as you left them.

Wukong takes a moment before replying. “She only did what she thought was best.” His chest rumbles with soft laughter. “Hell, you know I would’ve done a lot worse if I were in her position.” You know Guan Yin did her best, but it doesn’t make anything better.

You sit up, hugging your knees tight as your eyes wander over the landscape. This isn’t right, none of it is. The two of you are sitting here in the comforts of Flower Fruit Mountain while the others are on their own. Sun Wukong risked a day away from Tripitaka, and for what? An attempt to make you feel better than you should? “…Why?”

He lets the silence sit this time, slowly sitting up to join you. His hand finds its way to your back, it moves gently back and forth in comfort. “Because you can’t keep beating yourself up over this. It wasn’t in your control, Dove.”

You look down into your lap as his tail wraps around, pulling you closer. Why is he trying so hard? All these years with him, and still you have not a single clue as to why he chose you. Who in their right mind would do that, after everything you’ve done. The thought makes your chest grow tight, it makes each breath all the more difficult to take.

“Why do you love me?” Your voice is barely a whisper, but that doesn’t stop him from hearing it. Wukong stiffens at the question, his hand freezing as his head swivels down to look at you.

You find it in you to look back at Wukong, his eyes are wide with a mix of shock and concern. He almost looks hurt by the question. “What?” He frowns, turning to face you more.

“How can you?” You press, moving away from his touch and turning to face him as well. “After everything I’ve done.”

“Stop that.” His frown deepens, and you shake your head.

“We should be with the others right now.” You look away, but before you can move any farther, he takes hold of both your hands.

“Dove.”

“How can you defend me?!”

“I’m not letting you talk yourself into thinking–”

“I did this to you!”

You reach out to hold his head as you speak, the cold metal of the circlet in your hands. A reminder of your spite, your hatred that drove you to hurt him. The malice and resentment that hurt your Peaches.

He looks back at you, stunned into silence as tears prick at your eyes. “I… I hurt you. Every time that thing on your head tightens, when you were only trying to protect us– even when we were trying to tell you apart from Macaque!” Your shoulders shake, each intake of breath sharp as the tears stream down your face.

“I gave Tripitaka the sutra, I tricked you into wearing the circlet! How can you love me after all this pain I’ve caused you?!” Your head falls onto his shoulder as you try your best to stifle your cries, your arms dropping down to his shoulders. “I don’t deserve it. Not from you, not after I hurt you like I did.”

The silence that follows is only broken by your muffled breaths. Neither of you move, still as stone. Only when your shaky breaths slow do you feel arms wrapping around you. “…We were both pretty angry people back then, huh? Ha, we still are.” Wukong shakes his head, as if in amusement.

A sigh slips from his lips, and you feel him rest his head over yours. “I still remember my confusion, the first time I felt it tighten around my head, falling to the ground when the pain hit me. Even when it stops, sometimes I can still feel it.”

His arms slide back, his hands taking you by your shoulders to pull you back. Once he can properly look you in the eyes, one hand moves to cup the side of your face. He’s gentle as he holds you face up to his, his thumb moving to wipe away a tear. “I hate what you did to me, but I could never hate you.”

Peaches smiles at you, it’s small but genuine. His words leave you speechless, at a loss that he takes to keep going. “You got me to wear this crown, but it’s coming off as soon as Master reaches Thunderclap Monastery. I tried killing you…” His gaze wanders away for a moment, his smile turning guilty. “…more than once.”

You frown at that. Of course you remember the first time in the Jade Palace, but what else was he talking about? The time where he tried using you as bait for those demons that took Tripitaka’s cassock? “You said that time in the tree was so you could find the demon’s home while they were distracted.”

“Eh, I was going for a, ‘kill two birds with one stone’ approach with that.” He admits, his chuckle traced with some shame. You deadpan a little before he continues.

“But even after everything, you chose to be here with me.” Your eyes widen a bit as he moves closer. With his other hand moving to hold the other side of your face. He pulls you in so that your foreheads meet in the middle. “So don’t you ever question my love for you. It is as eternal as my life, and it will shine to make your darkest days light. You deserve the world, and more, that is something I will never let you forget.”

Your heart quickens, thumping against your chest rapidly as Wukong’s gaze holds yours. You can feel your face flushing, those sun-kissed eyes that hold you in their sights enough to make you swoon a hundred times over. Tears well up in your own eyes, and before they can fall, he pulls you into an embrace.

“You can’t blame yourself for something that happened when you were a child.” He whispers as you slowly wrap your arms around his back. “It all would have happened, regardless of whether or not you knew why.”

It takes you a second to slow your breaths. “I could have done something–”

“You were eight.” His voice is firm, stopping you before you could say any more.

Your eyes shut tight. “That doesn’t mean I wish I could have done something to stop it.”

One of his hands slides up to hold the back of your head. “You couldn’t have.” His fingers comb through your hair, and you melt into his touch.

There isn’t anything you can say. You know he’s right, but it doesn’t make the truth any harder to swallow. An entire village, gone. Innocent lives, friends who lost their lives because of you. You can’t let anyone else lose their life, you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if that happened.

At least you have him with you, here. You still can’t see why he cares so much for you, but right now, you’re just grateful that he does. “…I love you.”

“And I love you, Dove.” Peaches hums, and before you can say another word, your love lays back against the grass, taking you with him.

The steady beat of his heart drums against his chest, it’s rhythm soothing as you allow yourself to relax in his hold. This night really is beautiful. “Are we going to fly back tonight? You know nothing good happens when you leave Tripitaka for too long.”

Wukong lets out a soft huff. “My brothers will be alright taking care of him for a single night. Right now, I think you need a good rest on an actual bed.”

“Why use a bed when you’re right here?” You mumble, nuzzling your head into his chest with a small smile. He laughs at that, and you feel him place a kiss on the top of your head. A sigh escapes you, your eyes closing slowly as you lay with Wukong. “Peaches… why?”

“Why, what?” He asks in a whisper, his voice soft.

When you open your eyes, you look up at the sage with a smile. “Why did you bring me here today? The real reason.”

Peaches keeps his eyes to the sky, his head shaking a bit. “You know why.”

“I do, I just want you to know you can’t trick me.” You smirk, making Wukong laugh again.

“We’ll see about that.”

[themeraldee]

i know you’ve talked about your wips before but i’m bored and i love hearing about your writing sooo what’s your favorite to think about/really want to write for right now?

OHOHOHO you're opening a can of worms. But also thank you dearly 🩷🩷 I love rambling about my writing.

I have been jumping back and forth between a lot of ideas/WIPs which has not helped with my motivation to write at all! I can't pick!!! I may have to get you all to decide 😂

However the top WIPs I've currently got in rotation are:

A sub!Homelander fic I randomly started and it's the most I've written in a long while so I might just stick with that and hope for the best. The premise is very simple but I wanted to explore a moment where reader accidentally disarms Homelander to a point where the relationship dynamic shifts and they sometimes enjoy a session where she takes the reins. It's not going exactly how I'd like but I'll get there! I'm writing this solely to enjoy Homelander being needy for her body and her praise & attention. I'm trying to go for a bit of a orgasm denial thing/ruined orgasm kink sooooo we'll see how our favourite guy will deal with that.

I have frequent thoughts about depowered!Homelander and I've been thinking of writing little snippets of what his life is like after. I literally don't have anything for this except for a few notes but I love the trope so much I need to write something for it asap. I just love when he's miserable

One a more wholesome note I want to write a little fic of Homelander meeting the parents, joining in for their weekly trivia game night. He gets to join in on a family tradition while not feeling like he's just being interrogated and looked at from all angles. Instead he gets to flex his trivia knowledge and get praised for being the good and smart boy he is.

I'm still trying to chew through my body worship fic which I'm trying not to make 700 pages long by talking about every single freckle on his body but you know how it is 😂 But I'm debating the direction it's going so that one might take me a while to finish. (Like all of them ughhhhhh)

Oh! I forgot 2 more.

So, they're not really WIPs and more of an idea but I really wanna try to write a series that isn't as heavy duty as the AUs I've got planned but I've been thinking about a series with a journalist who's on her path to take down Vought (and Homelander) - I think I mentioned this one before - and another silly one I thought of is a cop!reader who's just so annoyed having to deal with Homelander anytime she's just trying to do her job.

Not trying to spoil and tease everything so I'll leave it at that 😂

Thank you for asking!! This was fun 🩷🩷

[toyouhellohowareyou]

can I get a child support payment pretty please? 🥺

Nan hi 💚

Child Support is what I've been calling the snippets related to Freyja's Lore's Link's Awakening project - Gale.

You are spoiling @not-freyja, but because you asked so nicely, sure.

Alterity/Ocarina, Oracle - Bonus Content 3

I need to make an index of these when I have my laptop again.

Series start point

Bonus content 1

Bonus content 2

○𝅘𝅥𝅮❍

Link supposes, as the magic fades and his flesh and blood form touches earth for the first time in more than a milennium, that he should be 'Light' now.

This era has a 'Link' already, and it is not him. How odd to know that is a thing. To once again see the proof of those little notebooks that drove and directed his life for so long.

There is a young man, who is not exactly as imagined but near enough, and a young woman who reminds him so much of Zelda it aches. A hurt too painful to touch yet. There is the Triforce, his silent companion for so long, burning that familiar gold before it breaks apart.

Shadow is not here. He does not appear this instant in a whirl of Minish magic. He doesn't know what that means except his quick, clean end to all this hasn't eventuated.

He handed him over, that was the important thing. One way or another Shadow is not trapped and alone, and not in Ganon's clutches. Did they fail to find a way for him to come here? Or does he just need to wait longer? Is this moment not the right moment?

It is too soon to lose hope, but it burns all the same. At least he should have made it to Four. For all the cruelties he inflicted on himself in all his iterations, he wonders if that was the worst. To show that boy, those boys, the 'what if'.

He would want to know though, if they got it right once at least, if they were ever able to save him. They have always had to fight for their happiness and he is still fighting.

He will deal with that in time, for now he is alive and owes his saviour his attention.

The woman hurries to the boy beside him, the first of his successors. A child, unambiguously so, and even smaller than him, dressed all in green and looking lost.

"Huh," says the young man, drawing Light's attention back to him, he's swaying slightly, "You really do look like Four."

That makes Light grin, "A lot of people do," he replies.

The boy, Lore, for it can only be Lore, giggles. The swaying grows more pronounced and Light sprints on new legs to catch him as he falls to his knees. And oh, oh! He's healthy, and nothing hurts, and there is air in his lungs and blood in his veins. What a blessing to be alive. What an impossible thing.

"'did it," Lore murmurs.

Light wraps his arms around him, clutching the Four Sword on Lore's back as he pulls him in tight.

He brought the Sword that carried Light's soul all these years to his final battle, along with his own. He'd been part of it for a millennium, for the chance to save Lore from the Chain's meddling, the chance to have this moment, for the three of them to be alive.

And he doesn't know what that says about Lore but doesn't it say something.

"You did. You did so well. Link you were amazing, you worked so hard. Oh little brother, I owe you everything."

Lore's head shifts on his shoulder, his own arms wrap around Light. He's warm, he smells of sweat and blood.

"Did you meet me before?" Lore asks.

"Legend? When I was a kid—"

"No, when… All the others met, had a quest…" The words catch and Light realises there's something else going on here.

"Oh. No," He replies softly, "The year that would have happened for me came and went."

The boy in his arms gives a choked little 'Oh' and begins to sob and Light pulls him tighter. Stuttering, choking tears, lost and lonely, he has just killed a hope somehow.

He can feel the warmth that is Red rising in him, all sympathy and love. And concern. Scarcely a handful of minutes and he's already thinking it's both of these boys that are going to need him. He runs a hand through Lore's hair in comfort and finds it sticky with blood.

"There was something I wanted to ask them," Lore says, the only explanation as he goes quiet in Light's arms, tears deliberately stopped and smothered. A momentary lapse, he will blame the fatigue, but Light knows when he's looking into the cracks in a person's soul. He knows about that eleven year old who finally put his cursed, corrupted self to rest, and how long he's had to be strong. Whatever this is has been eating him for a long time.

"You've got one more, right?" he pries.

"Yeah."

"Then we still might see them again."

The hands tighten on the back of his shirt.

"I left them with something to do for me. They'll try to get back to us, I promise. They'll know how, and you can get your answers." He's not even lying, they will surely try. Their success is another question, but they got this far by trusting each other.

He nods into Light's shoulder, "You think so?"

"Link, Folklore, brother of mine. I won't let you carry this all alone anymore. If you are not okay then I am not done."

[dargorian]

Figured I'd at least share a tiny update with my fics, and I say tiny but it's probably not.

This is my "everyone is a year older" Rayllum AU notes/ideas where I put down anything and everything I think of to do with that AU. I also expand on ideas, flesh out bits to include and recycle parts I've excluded, and I'm very quickly losing control of it following a conversation with a friend of mine.

I have six fics planned now instead of four (and so many potential titles for the AU that I really need to sit down and think over what to actually call it before I post my Sea Legs fic - which should be soon at the rate I'm roughing it out).

I'm trying to write them in order now (the previous post 7x09 sandwich fic I mentioned is now in the AU, following the same conversation with a friend of mine). All of the fics have titles too (two are tentative until I can get more plotted/written and then I'll have a definitive title for them).

What I can do though, is share the timeline for the AU and where the fics take place. Note that only the first fic has its title shared, otherwise it might spoil the plot of that fic if I just outright share the title.

"The Lavender Inn" (5x02 inn fic) - complete and on AO3

Aboard the Sea Legs (5x08 fic) - being plotted out thoroughly before I write it. A couple of scenes have been roughed but not enough to share snippets. This has a tentative title.

The Frozen Ship (6x03) - base plot for the most part done

The Starscraper (6x06) - basic plot roughed. Two scenes roughly written.

Aftermath of the S7 battle (7x09) - just notes rn, and the other tentative title.

Post 7x09 fic - spent a good few weeks roughing this out before I intergrated it into the AU. Several scenes are roughed out but also not enough to share snippets of.

And there might be more squeezed in here and there.

Feel free to guess and speculate.

.::Adding on that I saved this as a draft and went back to writing a few hours ago and I have since broken this file down into each story's notes instead so it's easier for me to keep on track with each story. I was bouncing between stories and adding things here and there that I kept having to step away to refocus. I should be able to focus more easily now and get stuff done quicker::.

Stating again that everyone is a year older in this AU. (And I mean everyone).

[pizzabox-box]

(DMW au): Since Peppi-no strikes me as the type to run and hide, once the gig is up and he has no reason to stay in Peppino's pizza anymore, where would he go?

Oh! This is a good question! I've been thinking about this a lot.

Where would he go once the truth comes out. His creator?Pizzahead? "Hell no." Noisette? "After what I did? No.."

He's part frog. Maybe he could find comfort among those like him. But he's no longer some ""simple minded. stupid animal"" he can dwell near the ponds only for so long before his conscience gets the better (or worse) of him. Where does he go?? He has no family, no place to call home. His continued existance looks rather bleak..

Will he crawl somewhere, let himself go and melt into a puddle? He has no purpose now. He blew it.

Or will he forgive himself, fInd his own identity and maybe eventually open his own restaurant? Make amends and move on?

Will someone actively seek him out either for revenge or to help him?

(Sorry for this rather vague answer but if I spoil everything now I won't have a comic to make later. I've about 80% of the Dead Man walking AU story line already ROUGHLY sketched out, but will take some time before I polish these sketches and snippets of dialoge out and turn them into comphrehensible comics with all the tension, emotion and stuff)

[cosmos-dot-semicolon]

I am very curious about how your wrong playstyle/different interpretation of Slay the Princess

TLDR: I played a significant chunk of the StP's individual routes before I discovered how to get its actual 'ending', because I was unaware you were supposed to save your progress between playthroughs! This has made me think a lot about how some of the game's parts don't quite fit together very neatly.

For context, I first experienced Slay the Princess via the demo (highly recommend: better for the dev than you pirating stuff, enjoying it, and then never paying them). This never goes beyond the start of the second chapter, and hence you have to return to the menu whenever you 'finish' any route. And because they're short snippets of the full story, you don't need to save or load.

So I was under the impression this was how you were supposed to play the main game too. When I finished a route, I just quit to go to sleep. Sometimes I would play two routes consecutively, but I never saved. Whenever I encountered the character between worlds talking about how she would reassemble after you played enough routes, or the mirror sometimes changing, I would just go like 'huh. That's neat. It's taking a while for that to progress. Wonder what big surprise they have for us there?'

It took me nearly 3 weeks and partially spoiling the game for myself for me to realise that there was not in fact a master plan the devs had, and that I was just completely oblivious to genre conventions. The question you could ask among the lines of 'why can't I go back and replay the same route' tipped me off that I was doing something wrong. Because I had done that several times.

This has informed how I view the whole game, because when I finally got to the 'full' endings, I wasn't that impressed. Part of it was that I was expecting something cooler for all my time spent in the game, which I understand isn't completely fair on the creators. But what is more fair is how it's made me notice that the 'overarching' narrative threads of StP are the weakest parts of the game. At least next to the actual 'in-between' stories.

StP's overarching story has a philosophical question of whether you should stop things from changing to save the world, but its individual plotlines are far more personal than that. In the cabin in the woods, you can get your psyche and will shattered by a creature out of a horror movie, join consciousnesses with your partner only to be torn apart by your previous memories of your conflicts, and be paralysed and dying slowly alongside someone you backstabbed and despise. But because the sheer combinatorial complexity of everything you can do in this game, you never really delve into the connections between those choices, and what it might say about your thoughts on the larger question at hand.

My most recent experience with this was a playthrough containing Happily Ever After, which still let me pick the ending where you reset everything to how it was in the past. It would've been interesting to see how the game responded to someone who decided to free the princess after torturing her with the same domestic life over and over and over again, but ultimately decided reset the game and make her forget everything just to replay it. How would that change if she had done the same to me as the Moment of Clarity? But because the only run the ending has comments on is your first, all I got for that was a comment that the Princess tried to kill me the first time I met her that game.

Honestly, that ending was still pretty impactful, just because it managed to make me think about whether I should've tried to back out there given my past run. But I don't think that was intentional at all, and most other playthroughs I've done don't have an ending nearly that thematically coherent. You can pretty much choose any ending you want regardless of how you've played.

The whole sequence with each individual Princess coming back to meet you during the finale is also emblematic of this -- you just kinda shoot through one after another of their questions with a single word reply. They're secondary to the spectacle of the Construct breaking and the Shifting Mound arising.

And even if you like the Shifting Mound and the Narrator and the Voices, they're also still weakened by this. They're not allowed to have too much unique dialogue because any route they're on might be the first time you experience them, so they can get really repetitive even if you like them. The Shifting Mound has a lot to say, but she's very distant from what you've experienced in the world, and you never really get a look into how your full ascended partner has learnt about the world outside of the comments of the individual princesses. They literally mind-wipe the Narrator between each run (though I will give marks for the fact you can comment on him regretting his actions in Happily Ever After, whereupon he coldly disregards it!)

I don't know if I'd suggest they actually try change the game because of this. I ultimately still loved it. And it's gotten me to think this much.

Plus, it'd be a hell of a lot of programming and words to account for all the possibilities; there are people who enjoy the large-scale philosophising; and most of the game's moving parts are good individually. We need to have art projects in the world that aim big, but maybe don't hit every target (assuming they don't accidentally say something horrible in the process). It stirs up the imagination, and I think I empathise with people who try to see every part of their dream project through.

I suppose that I just think Slay the Princess would've had a bigger impact on me had they narrowed their focus down a little more, specifically onto the personal experiences you have with the Princess. It is a love story, after all.

[atonalginger]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by the lovely and talented @fangbangerghoul, who shared a cool art wip today. thanks for the tag! I'm going to generally tag folks today because that way I don't worry I'm forgetting anyone lol. You got something you think you want to share, I've tagged you. I was thinking of you there. Yup, you.

Last week was a rough one for me creating wise. Heavy 'why bother' thoughts stopped me from even opening my laptop. I've been able to finally shake it and have another chapter down and hopefully will get more on track in the coming days but it's a process or whatever and there's going to be ups and downs.

I've also started to struggle at deciding what to share and what not to because...well I don't want to spoil my own story? I worry that sounds conceited but I want people to want to read the story and if they know everything that happens then...what would be the point? But also I'm only working on the one story atm so that's what I have to share...so I'm threading a needle here I guess. Maybe I'm overthinking things...

ANYWAY

I have a snippet from a chapter with Manny...well two snips...and some art? Under the read more for space saving.

first snippet:

Sleep was weird for Manny. It started with a nightmare where Cora had been snatched by the Redeemed instead of them. The monster wound up to slam her faceplate first into the concrete floor when everything froze. Her helmet was mere millimeters from an impact that would have shattered the glass, her body twisted in a gnarly position in the hands of the Redeemed.

“Quite a terrible scenario you’ve conjured.” A strange voice said. It was a delicate male voice with a raspy edge and a slight lisp. Manny looked around the still dream but could not find whoever spoke, “she’s replayed your flights every time she sleeps. Quite interesting that you can’t let go even to sleep.”

Manny searched for the source more, trying to pinpoint the direction with each word but it seemed to move around the edge of the scene. Almost like it was gliding across the floor.

“How would you fix this mess?”

Who are you? Manny asked.

“Not relevant,” He answered, “you have very little time left to fix this dream. How would you? Or will you watch her die?”

The last question set them off. They rushed the Redeemed and shoulder checked it, somehow knocking it off balance. They wanted Cora free from its grasp but knew from experience that the hands were like vices that would only release if a line was cut. A knife formed in their fist, an all black combat blade Evgeny had gifted them when they got the Eager Fortune. Manny found the weak point at the monsters elbows and dragged the blade across. Droplets of blood formed but nothing sprayed with time frozen. The vice grip released and Manny pulled Cora away, laying her on the floor before they turned back to the Redeemed. The knife punched through the neck guard with ease and with both hands Manny twisted the knife to carve out the throat before pulling it free.

“Such a savage kill,” the voice sounded delighted, “even if a touch too quick for my taste.”

Who are you!?

“Still not relevant,” He answered, “You should relax though. I’ve learned recently that too much stress does terrible things to the human mind and what’s to come demands you be sharp.”

What’s to come? How am I supposed to relax when…Who. Are. You?

“See, this is why I like you,” the lisp intensified, like the voice was hissing. Which was ridiculous, “You’ve got this spark! The passion, the energy, the fight. You are your own man, no matter what others try to do. If only you would embrace that more. You know who you are, why do you deny yourself that truth?”

Stop toying with me! Manny shouted, Who are you? what are you?

The pale blue eyes that first met them in the maintenance shaft flickered before them, “Who indeed, that is the question. Feel special, Manuel, I don’t put this level of effort into just anyone.”

Cora’s touch pulled them out of the nightmare. She was propped up on her elbow looking down at them with worry as she brushed their hair from their face. Then reality hit: they were struggling to breathe and drenched in sweat. She urged them to breathe in slowly, to focus on her voice, while she brushed their cheek with the backs of her fingers. Manny reached for her arm as they tried to comply, their mind a mess from whatever had just happened.

Her attention drifted to the edge of the bed, her expression hardening for a moment as she exhaled hard. The anger melted away as quickly as had appeared and she returned her attention to them with a tender kiss to their forehead.

--

snippet 2

She curled up next to them and broke down once more, her sobs rattling her whole body as she unloaded two weeks worth of fears. Manny rubbed her back and rocked her side to side while thinking about what the snake had said to them. ‘You are your own man, no matter what others try to do. If only you would embrace that more. You know who you are, why do you deny yourself that truth?’

It was something weighing on them for some time that they’d pushed away once they landed on Va’ruun’kai. When did they have time to contemplate that while facing a crisis like the one in Dazra. Why would He bother to waste time on it either? Cora said he was invested in the crisis, not either of them. Yet He took precious time to bring it up. He called them Manuel, a desire they had not shared with anyone.

--

I also have some art that is all set after the events of the current story.

Cora and Manny, some weeks after the story is over and they are back in Akila City. Cora stole that shirt from Manny's closet.

Manny and Cora about a year later. Cora stole that sweatshirt too. Half her wardrobe at that point is just stolen clothes from her boyfriend's closet.

[jeanie-g]

gay club willmack........ romcom nicojack......... aries part 3....... (please share more about all of these)

eeeeepp! i'm so excited for these and am working on them diligently! buckle up lol.

so (1) mack brings will to a gay club in ottawa cuz "you don't have to be gay smitty they're just fun" and will has a sexuality crisis! (and maybe gets jealous as hell when he sees mack w someone else....) i pulled from my own first experience in a gay club in ottawa lol - tho will is far more dramatic than i was...

here's a snippet:

Will looks around the crowded space. He loves to people-watch, and he finally feels like he has the space to slow down and breathe. This place is—a lot. It’s not bad, just a lot. It’s so loud and colorful, and—Will really doesn’t think he’s being a dick when he says this—gay. There are men kissing other men, women kissing women, groups of colored hair singing and throwing their bodies around to Lady Gaga. It’s not the kind of place hockey players occupy. Not the kind of place they’re supposed to, anyways.

But why does he care, really? Why is he so afraid to confront this part of himself? He’s never considered himself a bigot, but the club is turning into a mirror, and Will is scared of what he sees. All these people, so confident and sure, more accepting of themselves and each other than Will could ever be. He's not so repressed he can’t admit he finds some men attractive, but he never thought of himself as part of this community—never let it get that far. Because Will is…well, he doesn't really know what he is. He’s not the ultra-conservative bigot who pretends gay people don’t exist, but he’s not the male stripper wearing a thong with maple leaf-clan currency sticking out of the waistband. He’s not the hyper-masculine hockey player that shows off his virility at any given chance, but he’s not the twink dancing on the platform, and he’s not the burly bear cheering him on either. 

He’s somewhere in between. He thinks of what he likes: glittered necks and hockey butts, and tight t-shirts over strong muscles. Mustaches and thick-framed glasses, and the dusting of hair under belly buttons. Teal jerseys and exposed gums and brown hair, and Northern accents and bad chirps and strong, strong hands.

And—fuck.

(2) this one is such a rom-com plot! it's a college au based on this reddit story, where a girl hatches a plan to utilize her roommate hooking up w her ex to get her beloved mug back from his apt. i fleshed it out and gave jack (playing OP) a character arc - aka overcoming his unwillingness to seek out true romantic connection out of fear of vulnerability - a la Sondheim's Company (my love). and who else to be the catalyst for this arc other than nico !! i don't wanna spoil anything....but i've written 8k so far and haven't even gotten to the smut lol.

here's a snippet:

Jack only has two afternoon classes on Fridays, so he gets to sleep in, lock in for four hours on campus, and before he knows it, he’s back at his place getting ready for his date with Tyler. The irony that this is Jack’s first date in ages is not lost on him, but he’s not feeling nearly as nervous as he expected to. Then again, the typical stakes—making a good impression, getting to know the other person, trying to suss out a possible connection—aren’t really there for this one. The only two things he’s worried about is somehow letting on that it’s all a farce, or dissuading Tyler from wanting him back at his place. But considering the very suggestive texts he’s been receiving over the past 24 hours, he doesn’t think he has to worry too much about the latter.

He reads some of the more ridiculous ones to Trevor and Jamie as they help him pick out his outfit. Well, Jamie helps him pick out his outfit while Trevor lounges on Jack’s bed criticizing everything Jack has in his closet. 

Jamie was immediately on board with the whole plan when Trevor explained it to him, though Jack shouldn’t’ve been surprised. As Trevor’s boyfriend, he probably knew all the shitty stuff about Tyler going in, and though he may look like your typical friendly Canadian, he’d go to bat for Trevor no doubt. To be honest, he can be a bit scary when it comes to his protectiveness. Giving two different meanings to the term ‘bear,’ Jack thinks, snickering. 

“Oo, oo, I almost forgot about this one,” Jack starts. “‘I’ll pay for dinner, as long as you’re my dessert.’” Trevor makes gagging sounds while Jack bursts into laughter. “That one was sent at 8:32 this morning.”

“Man, this guy is the worst,” Jamie muses. “Trev, please tell me none of this shit ever worked on you.”

Trevor goes uncharacteristically quiet, bringing his phone closer to his face. Jamie throws one of Jack’s ties at his head. “Babe, are you serious?”

“You can’t blame me!” Trevor squawks, fighting off the tie and throwing it back at his boyfriend. “I knew nothing back then, Jim! He once called me his ‘string bean’ and I thought it was the height of romance.”

Jamie snorts at that, biting his lip in thought. “You are kinda string bean-y, I’ll admit.”

Trevor blushes, embarrassed. “Well, then you’re a squash, how about that?”

Jamie nods. “Squash, I like that.” He plays with Jack’s tie in his hands, strolling over towards Trevor. “But I mean, I was thinking more eggplant.”

Trevor’s embarrassment switches to coyness, fox-like grin splitting his face as he sits up. “Oh, yes. How stupid of me.”

Jack’s not really sure what he’s witnessing right now, just feels his hackles raise as the two of them move closer to each other. It’s kind of instinctual at this point. He keeps them in the corner of his eye as he continues scrolling through Tyler’s many, many horny messages to him.

Finally, (3) my beloved...aries pt 3. so while aries 1 focused on tzjd and aries 2 was nicojack, aries 3 is luke/johnny (with tzjd and nicojack in the background). i'm in love w the story i'm crafting - like it's so moving and sweet to me, and i'm the one writing it LOL. so basically, 27 y/o luke is at a crossroads -- lonely, uninspired, just going through the motions. he's surrounded by his friends and family who have their lives together...meanwhile the devs haven't extended him yet, his apt just got flooded, and he has to stay with nicojack while he waits out the repairs. and then johnny comes back into his life, and a door long-thought closed opens again....

here's a snippet:

As Luke lies in bed that night, soft moonlight shining in from the window, he can’t force away the nervous bundle radiating in his stomach.

Because, along with most of his belongings and about three inches of groundwater, Luke left behind something else in his apartment: a letter, opened, on his center island. An offer from Vegas.

Ever since Luke entered free agency, he’s been keeping an ear out for offers. Long Island would be close to Jack, Nico, and Carmen; Detroit would be close to his parents; Seattle would be close to Quinn and Esh. It felt like the right direction to look. Of course, he’s been holding out hope for Jersey, still. The team he’s been on since he was drafted, knowing nothing else besides red and black and Hoboken and the Jersey Shore. 

He never expected the behemoth that is Vegas reaching out with interest. His jaw dropped when he read the offer: six million, four years. It was more than a try-out. And Luke didn’t really care about the pay cut—he had more than he knew what to do with at his age. When Luke’s agent called him, he said their GM’s had an eye on him for the past few seasons, and when Luke’s free agency was announced, he pounced on it. After missing playoffs three years in a row, Vegas has been in a semi-rebuild, buffing up their D core, and apparently they want Luke to be the face of it.

And then there’s the other thing, something Luke would be remiss to not admit, as much as he hates it. Johnny’s in Vegas.

Things ended badly between them when Johnny went to Utah. Luke was in love; Johnny was in love, and Luke fucked it all up. He doesn’t like to think about it these days; he’s spent too many hours crying and hating himself in the aftermath. It’s been years since then; Johnny was forced to retire after fucking up his back only two seasons in. He ended up settling down in Vegas. Johnny always loved Vegas.

Luke hasn’t even thought of Johnny since…he doesn’t know. But the offer—it was like it opened a rusted door in his mind. Things reminded him of him, his second-ever relationship, one of a handful of loves in his life, like flipping through an aged scrapbook filled with nostalgia. For the first time in a while, he missed him. And along with that, some sordid fantasy where Luke could, by being in his proximity, make up for past transgressions and be friends again. It was stupid; it’d be easier to call him, though Luke wasn’t brave enough to do that. But swooping in like some asshole and showing up on Johnny’s doorstep to beg for forgiveness after all these years? Surely, that’d make more sense. It was ridiculous, but it wouldn’t go away. 

And while Luke wasn’t stupid enough to actually include Johnny’s proximity in his list of pros, it always existed in the back of his mind when he thought of accepting Vegas’ offer. The whole thing, in fact, was a secret. Only Luke, his agent, and the Knights’ GM know. He knows he needs to talk to Jack about it, but he just can’t pull himself to. It’s both a blessing and a curse, this whole Trevor-and-Jamie news. On the one hand, Luke’s reminded how hard Jack takes it when his loved ones move away; on the other, the heat’s off of himself. He’ll see how long it lasts.

Thanks so much for the ask!! I hope these struck your fancy <33

[cssns]

Please welcome the multi-talented @spartanguard to CSSNS24!

Your Tumblr and any other applicable names

SpartanGuard

How long have you been in the CS/OUAT fandom?

I watched the show from Day 1 until the very final episode; became active in the fandom during 4A, so coming up on 10 years!

When did you start shipping Captain Swan?

Actively after the first date; low-key in 3x14—"If it can be broken, that means it still works." SWOON. (You speak for all of us, Kaitlyn!)

What drew you to this event?

I love Captain Swan and I love fantasy!

What inspired your topic?

I really enjoyed the movie Jungle Cruise and there were a few aspects of Frank's character that really reminded of Killian (not saying what as I don't want to spoil the movie), so the wheels have been turning on how to adapt it into an AU for a while. But I knew it wouldn't have quite the same meaning with the OUAT characters if we just dropped them into what's essentially a historical fantasy in our world, so twisting it into something that fits into the Enchanted Forest (and associated realms) has been fun.

If you would like to share a snippet/sneak peek/summary of your fic or artwork, please use the space below.

Inspired by the movie Jungle Cruise, but set in the world of OUAT; Princess Emma is searching for a cure to help her kingdom's war effort—but so is the leader of her enemy kingdom. Alongside her sister, Snow, she seeks out a guide to Neverland, where the mythical cure supposedly hides, and finds Captain Killian Jones, who is less than eager to help. Adventure, danger, and romance follow!

For our artists: What kind of art do you like to do? Picsets, painting, digital, etc? Feel free to give as much info as you like.

Mostly manips, but the occasional picset if everything I want to convey outstrips my photoshop abilities.

For our betas: Who/what have you beta'd before, or is this your first time? Feel free to give as much info as you like.

I've been beta'ing almost as long as I've been writing fic, and my day job is as an editor. (Fic is much more exciting than the things I edit at work, though!)

What are you looking forward to most about participating in this event?

Seeing all the fun stories and adventures we get taken on!

We are beyond excited to see Kaitlyn's story drop on 8/14/24! She's also going to be an artist and beta, so she's going to be super busy for CSSNS24!

[blrecs]

05/50: to say that i love you is more than the truth (in herin, "ennui")

There is so much I want to say about In Herin's "Ennui" that I hardly know where to start. So perhaps I will start with: this post will have spoilers. In one section, I will explicitly spoil the events of the last few chapters (there will be a warning before you get to that section, but it does not mean the rest of the post is spoiler-free). I personally do not think "Ennui" is diminished in any way by knowing the ending; there are not twists and it is not a plot-centric story. That said, my opinion on this matter is worth exactly one peanut (not even two!), as I've never cared about being spoiled. if you value being spoiler-free or experiencing things for the first time without being influenced by other people's interpretations, you should read "Ennui" first.

I highly recommend reading "Ennui" anyway! It is a deeply moving and thought-provoking and, to be frank, devastating piece of literature. But please also be mindful that the series and thus my post below feature descriptions of partner violence (both physical and sexual), codependency, homophobia (to the point of attempted murder), living with anxiety/panic attacks/disabilities/other medical needs, parental neglect, and many unhealthy patterns of thinking (which, I'll be frank, the characters never fully escape). If these things are not for you, I understand. We have many more weeks of bl posting ahead of us!

Now, on with the show.

 (i will give you my pain)

"Ennui" is, first and foremost, a testament to human endurance.

To begin with, it is your endurance In Herin is testing. You, the reader, are expected to have patience, to sit with the discomfort of not knowing the full story, to see the consequences first of an action you have not yet encountered. You are expected to appreciate complicated work hierarchies and character backstories through snippets of dialogue. You are never given straightforward chronology. The story is told through juxtaposed time skips, sometimes only for a panel or two, often through visual metaphor. One of the first such flashbacks shows you the climax to an argument that isn't fully depicted until 30 chapters later. When you encounter that chapter, it assumes you remember the flashback. It does not revisit the events of the flashback at all. Instead, it boldly shows you the lead-up, then cuts straight into the resolution, revealing that what you thought was one character's shock at the other's boldness was really one character's excitement at the other's acquiescence. It is masterful—it is confusing. It is the ultimate rereader's reward.

For In Herin has already told you everything you need to know about the series in the prologue, even though there is no way for the first-time reader to appreciate it. The main character, Dan Taeheun, is at a cardiology appointment. It is clear that he would benefit from additional medical attention, and that he will not pursue it. He is warned about needing rest, not overworking. He does not respond, except when the doctor asks, "are you listening?" He says yes, but he is not really listening. He is reading text messages from three separate men: his boss Han Yeonho asking Taeheun to wrap up his appointment (which he does), his subordinate Gwak Daegil asking Taeheun to save him (which he presumably does), and his lover Won Yeongeun asking Taeheun to contact him. Taeheun does not contact Yeongeun. For the rest of the series, this is how Taeheun will treat Yeongeun, as a presence and not a man. For the rest of the series, this is how Taeheun will treat his body, as an enemy he must keep close to accomplish his means. He gets into Director Han's car. They go to work. You have been dropped in media res to "Ennui," and this is the blueprint from which almost everything else in this series is derived.

The pitiable uke is the noble poor of bl characters. He must be a good person, kind to the people (or animals) around him and talented (cooking, art, intelligence, beauty) in some way that has been thwarted, and he must be made miserable for our entertainment. He is the result of our human desire to see good people rewarded and unfairness set right. To accomplish these ends, we place him in dire circumstances (he is an orphan, his grandmother is sick, he has been abused, he was a reluctant guarantor to a debt) so that he can work hard (at multiple jobs while also studying, or in dangerous situations that are bound to get him sexually exploited, or he is forced into bondage—capitalistic or otherwise—with a sadistic seme) for his happy ending. The pitiable uke struggles—bravely, often tearfully—against unfairness. If he is beaten down, he must over and over again struggle to stand. That struggle attracts the attention of the men around him, like moths to a flame. Once he runs through this gauntlet, only then do we grant him his happy ending, as a reward for his good character. He is the virtuous victim-hero that in old Hollywood films is so often a woman. Without this pillar of bl, the genre might collapse entirely.

But Dan Taeheun is more than just a pitiable uke. He is something special: he is the pathetic uke. His suffering is neither instrumental nor noble, but abject. He is not simply falling asleep at work, or romantically walking into an ocean, or crying beautiful tears in the arms of a muscular lover. When Taeheun's body betrays him, it is horrific. He claws at a couch until his fingertips are swollen and red. His face is covered in phlegm and saliva and tears. He spasms wildly, he vomits, he writhes. He is beaten and bruised and squeezed like a stress ball, by his work and Yeongeun and his own body, until what is extruded at the other end feels less than human. He is debased by his pain. And when Taeheun suffers, he is alone. All hurt, no comfort—a violation of the bl reader's social contract.

The pitiable uke struggles; his sacrifices are rewarded, and the reader walks away satisfied with the knowledge that good things happen to good people. The pathetic uke submits; he is the sacrifice and his sacrifice is the reader's reward. "Ennui" chews up Taeheun, grinds him up in the gears of his suffering, and leaves him, largely, in the same place he was at when the series began. His suffering does not create moral legibility. The world he occupies is cruel and unfair and remains that way. His body is a paroxysm of panic attacks and arrhythmia, and it never gets better. The work family he loved and who were kind to him are taken away from him; when they return, to the extent they return, he remains alienated from them. Perhaps most galling of all, even to the very end, his lover Yeongeun continues to beat him.

And yet, Taeheun endures. He survives his father trying to kill him, he survives his lover trying to kill him, he survives his body trying to kill him. I know neglecting oneself is a type of self-harm but it is also true that never once in "Ennui" does Taeheun try to kill himself. Because "Ennui" is, first and foremost, a testament to human endurance. It is teaching us the same lesson as Yoshinaga Fumi's "Ooku." We live, despite great pain. "Even in moments of unbearable suffering," Taeheun ponders in chapter 39, "as long as one is alive, one will find a way to keep living. As if everything is fine, they go on living again."

Survival is an amoral imperative, but it is the only real imperative. It is from survival that all other things are derived. You cannot love if you do not survive, and you cannot survive if you do not have something to love. And it is in extraordinary circumstances, when we are pushed to the edge of our ability to endure, that we discover ourselves at our most human. We love the most deeply then, because it is the only way we can prove we are alive.

We don't need to be brave. We don't need to be beautiful. It is okay to be wretched, to be sniveling, to be abject. To crawl on the ground because you cannot stand. To live gracelessly and in spite of great suffering. It's okay to go home and cry and vomit and shout the name of your abusive ex-boyfriend like a mantra. As long as you live, Taeheun. As long as you make it out alive. You can do whatever you want in the darkness of the night, as long as the next morning you can wake up and open your eyes. And you pick yourself up off the floor, and clean off your face, and put on your suit, and brush back your hair. And then, you go to work.

(my brother my child my lover my friend)

Because "Ennui" is also a drama about work.

Yes, yes, "Ennui" is a workplace drama. When summarized, the story beats (which, in the case of "Ennui," is not the same as the plot) are more "Misaeng" than "Cherry Magic." Taeheun is hired initially as what I think is a software engineer at a branch office of B&P. His supervisor, Senior Yang Wonbae, becomes a pawn in a larger game of corporate gamesmanship, as one of the directors tries to use him as a way to undercut the arrival of Han Yeonho, an up-and-comer transfer from headquarters. When the combination of Taeheun's health issues and Yeongeun's abuse comes to a head, as you know from the start it inevitably would, it offers B&P a chance to reorganize, leaving Development Team One and Taeheun vulnerable. Senior Yang volunteers himself to be the sacrificial lamb and is transferred to a remote office, while Taeheun is forced to offer himself to Han Yeonho, who promises to reward Taeheun's submission to the project management department by giving Taeheun's former colleagues a chance to come back. In the background, Han Yeonho conducts complicated orchestral maneuvers with the president of the B&P branch office which are never fully brought to light but nevertheless cast a shadow over everything else.

But that is not what I mean when I say "Ennui" is a drama about work. It is not just that the drama of "Ennui" is set at a workplace, but that work, itself, is a critical part of understanding the themes of "Ennui." "Ennui" is a drama about work the same way "Haikyuu" is a manga about volleyball. It is through work that all emotion is expressed. 

There is no world where Yeongeun and Taeheun's relationship would be perfectly healthy. Yeongeun has monopolistic tendencies with a penchant for working out his frustration through violence, which he projects on Taeheun, who himself is a piece of work. Between them, they have multiple dead or estranged parents, a near-death experience at a Christian conversion camp, tragic coming out stories, and years of unhealed trauma. But when they meet in college, these things bond them to each other because they need only focus on themselves. It's not until Yeongeun begins to work after graduating college that their relationship begins to warp.

Work is the family, and sometimes it is deeply toxic. Like a parent, maybe even Yeongeun's own bad parents, work teaches Yeongeun that he can depend on no one, that he is utterly alone, that no one will help him. Forced to accept unending physical and emotional abuse from his superiors, who slap him routinely and steal credit for his work, and a witness to a workplace fatality that is barely mourned, only discussed as an impediment to more work, Yeongeun's naturally kind personality (and his pathological tendency towards caretaking) is funneled entirely into Taeheun. He sees himself as suffering purely so that he can keep Taeheun alive, so it horrifies him when Taeheun also decides to work. What was once Yeongeun's only beacon of human affection and solace will become tainted, defiled through work. It is as if Taeheun suggested he be raped. Yeongeun cannot handle it.

On the other hand, for Taeheun, work is the lover. In Development Team One, Taeheun finally finds people who don't judge him, who marvel at his talents, who want to take care of him and protect him, who recognize him as precious not for his weaknesses but for his strengths. There is, nominally, a third man in the Yeongeun/Taeheun relationship, but the real betrayal, the real person that Taeheun cheats on Yeongeun with in "Ennui," is work itself. Work fulfills Taeheun, turns him into a real person. It is through working with Development Team One that Taeheun discovers real love.

What the story eventually punishes Taeheun for is not trying to free himself from Yeongeun. He would be right to do so; from the start, their relationship is unhealthy, and even during their college days, Taeheun realizes he feels free when he is able to push Yeongeun away. No, when his body fails him in chapter 40, Taeheun is being punished for choosing to devote himself to work, for loving the cruelest of all mistresses, who will never love him back.

And in this context, the perversion is not that Taeheun is gay or that Taeheun is in an abusive relationship (or, if we are to read things in the light most charitable towards Yeongeun, that Taeheun enjoys getting hit by his male lover). No, in fact by the end of the series Taeheun has come out to multiple coworkers and, in an ill-considered ploy to save Senior Yang, announced to his entire workplace that he gets hit during sex. His sexuality, with Team Leader Han's help, is hidden in plain sight. What makes him an outcast, a pervert, is that Taeheun has a disability. From the beginning of his time at B&P, he has had to hide the worst sin of all: that he is a person who, because of his body, may be incapable of work.

After the disbandment of Development Team One, Yeongeun is sent on a work trip. Still recovering physically from a sudden attack of arrythmia while at work and unsure of the future of his employment, trapped in the empty apartment they share, Taeheun lashes out at Yeongeun. You're working so hard, he says sarcastically. Must be so nice. Must be so much fun. But Yeongeun has never explained to Taeheun that for him, work is not nice, work is not fun. Yeongeun works only so he can sacrifice himself nobly, stupidly, in silence at the altar of his love for Taeheun. He can only survive his hell by saying it is for Taeheun's benefit. So he says, "I want to make sure you'll never have to work again.

For Yeongeun, this is a proposal. Look what I endure, for you. He once promised to Taeheun that he would take responsibility for him forever. There is nothing more romantic he could do.

But for Taeheun, this is a death sentence.

In chapter 26, the project management department celebrates Han Yeonho's promotion. During the festivities, someone brings up a contestant in a TV show who has come out as gay. A conversation about internalized homophobia and workplace discrimination commences, much to Taeheun's discomfort. One well-meaning person says, we should be more considerate of gay people, because they are already marginalized in our society. To which Han Yeonho answers, maybe that is also a kind of discrimination. Maybe they don't want us to take them lightly. "Among us, someone might have something they're hiding too. Like a medical condition that could lead to social stigma, a physical disability, trauma from violence." What they want, Han Yeonho argues, is to be treated like they are "normal." To pass as any other person, struggling for survival.

What Taeheun wants is to be told, simply, "good work." One of the first moments that endears Senior Yang to Taeheun is when Senior Yang is able to recognize, somehow, that Taeheun has walked a long path to get to him. "You must have had a hard time making it this far. You've been through so much. I’m proud of you for getting here. There's going to be more challenges ahead, but let's do our best together." How is that perfect strangers who have not known Taeheun are able to give him this recognition, but Yeongeun, the only person who loves Taeheun unconditionally, is not? It takes many chapters, many beatings, many arguments, before Yeongeun finally reciprocates, giving Taeheun a watch as a belated congratulations gift for getting a job. It is not lost on the careful reader of "Ennui" that Yeongeun does so on bended knee—romance, but through the lens of acknowledging hard work.

Is this a happy ending? Perhaps it is the happiest ending Taeheun could hope for. The pitiable uke in his position would get vindication. He would restore Senior Yang's position. He would be able to come out, proudly. He would be recognized at work for the talented, beautiful, resilient person that he is. He would be with his (reformed) lover. But Taeheun is the pathetic uke. Vindication is not his to take. Han Yeonho pretends that he is helping Taeheun take revenge, but in fact he is only hiding Taeheun, keeping him alive, through the guise of work. The finagling to bring back Senior Yang has been his plan from the beginning. Taeheun is just a fun diversion. And even in the end, when Senior Yang is brought back, Taeheun is still stuck in the PMO department. His natural gift at programming is forever denied to him; he is never, not even at the end, given an opportunity to return to development. And Yeongeun must go back to his business trip, which will not end until next year. Whatever changes he and Taeheun must make to their relationship will have to wait until then.

But at least Taeheun is working. At least his lover recognizes the importance of Taeheun's work. What other happy endings could there be?

(if we meet up in the next land)

[SPOILER WARNING: the section below will spoil, in detail, the final chapters of "Ennui."]

For "Ennui" is, at the end of the day, a boys' love story, and bl comes with its own conventions. And those conventions narrow the roads available to Dan Taeheun.

Say what you want about In Herin, but you cannot accuse her of not knowing what she likes. Many of the same themes from "Ennui" show up in her second work, "Missing Love." The main character Lee Geom is an orphan upon whom tragedy piles up. He is in turns submissive and feral, adorable and poisonous, seductress and virgin, resilient despite unending physical and emotional abuse. The childhood friend/main love interest Lim Wooyeon is the monopolistic nurturing type who naively tries to shoulder some of the main character's burden. And there is a third man, one who moves in the shadows, who is playing a game Lee Geom can only see the outlines of, who does not need Lee Geom but traps him anyway to make him part of that game, who makes his relationship with Lee Geom his only weakness. Events come to a head; the main character's body disintegrates into the gears of the plot. A love triangle is resolved quietly, without fanfare. A proposal is made, and accepted.

"Missing Love," despite the constant violence and human trafficking and sexual assault, is a fairytale romance. Lee Geom is the pitiable uke, not the pathetic one. He is able to bring down the monsters that have tormented him and give himself, fully, to Lim Wooyeon's love. There is catharsis, for the characters and the readers. You feel safe in knowing that Lee Geom is in the best hands he could possibly be, and those are his own and Lim Wooyeon's.

"Ennui," though, is bound in reality, and towards the last ten chapters, you can feel In Herin struggle with what that means for Taeheun. Won Yeongeun is no Lim Wooyeon, and Yeongeun and Taeheun are settling for each other because they have hurt each other too much to abandon the relationship. There are affirmations exchanged, an attempt at a new start, yet neither of them have changed, and certainly no tools have been offered to Yeongeun to change his behavior. If that is the only happy ending Taeheun can have, this beautiful, talented, resilient man she has written, then what is the point of making him survive? Does he live, just to suffer?

But she cannot make write about them breaking up, or at least not yet. This is a love story, not a memoir of a person leaving an abusive relationship. So she throws in the oldest trick in the book: she adds the other man.

Chapters and chapters she has spent building up Han Yeonho, always teasing something between him and Taeheun but never quite crossing the line. Finally, in chapter 53, it happens. Taeheun, having learned that Yeongeun has slept with another man while away on his work trip, has a breakdown in a bathroom stall. Han Yeonho goes to pick up the pieces, and in the process, finally kisses Taeheun. What follows (because "Ennui" is a work drama) is a long monologue about Yang Wonbae's upcoming reinstatement, as the new head of the IT planning team. Han Yeonho's lips say, "thank you for letting me use you." But what he actually means, as you learn in the final chapter, is, you were something unexpected in my life, something special that moved me in a way no one else could. I fell for you when I didn't mean to.

Well, you don't write a character like Han Yeonho into a bl story if you mean to keep his relationship with Taeheun platonic. But you also don't introduce a character like Han Yeonho as a love interest in the final act if you mean for Taeheun to actually leave Yeongeun for him. Trapped by genre conventions, and forced to give Taeheun someone at the end of the story, In Herin writes a pitiable uke story for Taeheun. In the final chapters, he recontextualizes his relationship with Yeongeun: suddenly he has loved Yeongeun the whole time! He has been doing all this (handwave at the trials and tribulations he has suffered) because he has been running away from this love! And Han Yeonho is firmly cast as a sociopath who can only see Taeheun as a burden, a broken thing, a toy—not like Yeongeun, who recognizes that Taeheun is the only real prize to be won! So naturally, Han Yeonho recognizes he has lost, and backs down. He plays good friend to Taeheun, calling Yeongeun home whenever Taeheun needs him, bringing Yeongeun to save Taeheun from getting drunk. Together they nurse Taeheun back to some kind of health. A love triangle is resolved quietly, without fanfare. A proposal is made with a watch, and accepted.

It is a neat little story, complicated by just one little thing: Taeheun ends up having sex with Han Yeonho anyway.

I am not saying that I find "Missing Love" erotic personally, but "Missing Love" is clearly meant to be sexy. Every sex scene with Lee Geom is charged with eroticism, even if that eroticism is disturbing or gory. Lee Geom uses his sexuality, and is often in control of it, even if he is not always in control of the circumstances under which he is forced to use it.

But Taeheun's sexuality in "Ennui" is, like him, a constant struggle, a thing always taken from him instead of given by him. Never once do you see Taeheun initiate sex. It is unclear if he even experiences sexual desire. The first time Han Yeonho and Taeheun try to have sex, Taeheun cries through it, calling out Yeongeun's name, which the reader knows is his mantra for getting through something painful. When Taeheun sleeps with Han Yeonho the second time, Han Yeonho teases him about all the times Taeheun gazed at him. "It was so hot, the sticky look in your eyes, like you were imagining using me as a side dish." (To masturbate, he means.) But alas, the real Taeheun is "a block of wood," a dead log in bed, for which Taeheun apologizes. "Sorry for being so unimpressive," he sulks. "I've always been the one crying and sulking under Yeongeun's thumb."

It is hard to read this small, inconsequential line and not feel revulsion. What kind of sexual partner would Taeheun be, if he hadn't been cared for by Yeongeun? Taeheun has been changed, irrevocably, by that sexual relationship. It is the only sexual relationship he can even recognize as sex. But that sex is so divorced from sexual desire that it is hard for us, the reader, to understand it as sex. When Taeheun talks about having penetrative sex with Yeongeun for the first time, the description is more alien invasion than sex scene. "His fingers had always been searching for a way inside me. The helplessness of having my body moved by someone else was familiar." When it happens, the panel is tight on Taeheun's eyes closing, as if he is falling asleep and relinquishing control of himself, utterly, to Yeongeun. Later, during their more turbulent adult years, Taeheun says of sex with Yeongeun, "each sense of ownership over my body was stripped away. I became filled with another's invasion."

There is something horrible in the way Yeongeun has affected Taeheun, and In Herin knows it. She has written a story that is too good, a character that is too real, to lie to us about this ending she has given to Taeheun. We cannot fully celebrate him remaining with Yeongeun, and in these scenes with Han Yeonho, In Herin brings out that uneasiness. Taeheun's musing that he is a "partner who harms," a "perpetrator" who is "infinitely parasitizing" Yeongeun's life, feel purposefully delusional. Yeongeun is the parasite, feeding on Taeheun's life. He has been doing it the whole time, to the point where Taeheun cannot even find his sexuality separate from Yeongeun's domination.

So in the end, In Herin climbs back up from the layers. She returns to first principles. "Ennui" is, just incidentally, a love story. Before that, "Ennui" is a story about work. And so the final panels are of Taeheun, now team leader himself, talking to Daegil about meetings and documents and returning back to the office. And first and foremost, "Ennui" is a testament to human endurance. So the final panels are of Taeheun standing alone. He does not read any text messages. No one comes to pick him up. In a mess of bodies, he vanishes.

Head proud, he walks out of our lives and into his own.

(section headers are from mj lenderman's "no mercy")

[gossamergrove]

gossamergrove ➳ writeblr introduction.

hi there! i'm vesper {they/she, twenty years old} and i figured it was about time i returned to writeblr! i'm known to pop up around here for a short while before disappearing again, but hopefully i can manage to stick around this time!

here's a little bit of background info about me!

i've been around on writeblr on-and-off for at least 2 years now! i'm always open to making new friends within the community, and i'm 100% okay with being tagged in things, including writeblr games or even just snippets of others' writing!

my ask box is always open, but fair warning that i get easily overwhelmed, so it might take me a while to answer whatever is in my inbox. please don't let this deter you from sending asks about me, my projects, or anything you want go share with me!

this blog is 18+ as i don't have the mental energy to censor myself or my writing to accommodate for a demographic any younger, so please respect that! if i find out that you follow me and are a minor, i will block you.

read about my works in progress under the cut!

let's talk about those works in progress i mentioned! i currently have one primary project i'm in the early stages of working on, but this masterlist will be updated whenever i have a new project i'm ready to start posting about.

amaranthine ➳ adult romantasy.

status: planning [est april 2024]

Freya grew up surrounded by royalty, but it was always just shy of her grasp. Having grown up in the castle as the child of the royal family's political advisor and most trusted maid, Freya has witnessed firsthand what being royal is like, even if her status as a high class commoner resulted in relentless teasing from the crown prince and his friends. She's never been more than an outcast among her supposed "inner circle" and a spoiled brat to those outside the castle walls. Until one night, during a royal ball meant as a prerequisite to political negotiations, the crown prince is found bloody and bruised in the gardens. When Freya finds him passed out at the back entrance to the castle, it sets off a chain of events, leaving Freya at the center of everything. It's up to her to figure out what's going on, and quickly, before the world she knows comes tumbling down around her.

that's all for now! i hope you enjoy your time in my little corner of writeblr, and thank you for reading through my rambling!

[velnna]

This might sound like an odd question but I’m planning on making my own comic at some point and I was wondering if you had any advice? Specifically in making the plot, deciding what each character does and maybe panel/page composition and how to make harmonious colour palettes?

Also one more question but when you were at the beginning of developing Stray Souls did you post little lore/plot snippets and character doodles/info or did you mainly wait until the comic was out?

(Sorry I know this is a lot but I was just wondering sort of what your process is because everything seems so seamless and well-put-together :> )

Ehh first of all the seamless and put-togetherness is an illusion 🫠

A lot of my work is built organically (fancy way of saying I just sorta wing it) and very dependent on what makes me excited at each given point. Generally, I come up with an idea for a character or a plot point and from there start branching out.

Say, I create character A. A needs a story so I create some beats for them, a beginning-middle-end type thing. While thinking of this, characters B, C, etc pop up as placeholders/devices for A's story, and the world gets shaped around it as well. Then suddenly something in the world gets decided that in turn changes A's story a little, and so on. Then I go into B, C, etc and do the same thing (build a story, let it bleed into the world and let the world bleed into it).

There's pros and cons to this sort of thing of course. Most of the time I over-develop characters or world bits that are completely unnecessary and clutter the narrative (especially when it's something like a comic, where things need to be explained visually and economically), and because of this sort of chaotic process I also tend to get entangled in my own concepts and lose track of my main threads. I don't dislike it entirely so it's just a matter of figuring out what works best for your own goals and processes.

Some general advice for comics that I've learned from trial and error: try stripping your story down to its bare bones and see what you absolutely need VS what's there for flavour or added context. Only add flavour once you're sure you can tackle the minimum, both in writing and artwise. Keep your character designs simple if you value your hands lol. It's fun to design complicated details but you WILL get tired of drawing them after a while. Sometimes it's ok to tell and not show 🤷‍♂️ if you're a one-man team sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet. Bear in mind that long stories will take YEARS to complete in comic format. Not an end all be all, but you do need to think about that. Also just go for it once you've got a structure you feel good about. I personally don't like over planning and don't even script things, so I don't think you need to have everything on paper before getting some chapters rolling. Most of what I've learned about comics has been making them, not thinking about making them. Oh, and readers tend to be more lenient than we give them credit for - if you're passionate enough about your world or characters, chances are at least some people will be interested regardless of whether you think art or writing are up to par

As for the other question, I spoiled the shit out of stray souls before launching it and still kinda do it for fun LMAO. Nothing too serious ofc but I've always loved giving people an insight into characters and world outside of the comic since the comic itself is a little peek into the whole thing. It also kinda serves to keep people interested imo

And I just can't keep my mouth shut about my stories lol

[thursdayinspace]

Happy fanfic writer appreciation day! I can’t read all of your stuff because spoilers but I’ve absolutely adored everything I’ve read. You’re so good at both fluff and angst - a rarity in writers! I think Starstruck and Distractions were my too favorites but they were all great!

Anyway, if you’ve got a WIP that wouldn’t spoil me, I’d love to hear about it:)

asfdgd omg thank you so much!! i don't even know what to say, haha. i'm so glad you liked what you've read so far!!

hmm, a lot of my wips are set way later in the series, but i have one that could be set anywhere, in which mulder develops psychic abilities while he and scully are trapped in an underground cave together. he tries not to, but he can't help picking up her thoughts. it's probably going to be set pretty early, season 2 or 3. I think I've posted a snippet before, and maybe it was this same one, but i'll just post it again :)

--

“Um,” he says. “Scully?”

She stops what she’s doing and looks at him. “Yes?”

“Think something.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Something. Anything. Think of some random animal. An unusual one.”

Her eyes search his face and he can feel her worry flaring up again. “Mulder -”

“Please.”

“Fine,” she says, and after a second of hesitation he gets the image from her as clear as from his own mind.

“Rat?” He shakes his head, regretting it immediately as it makes the room spin around him. “I said unusual.”

“You didn’t give me a lot of time to think,” she says. “How did you guess?”

“I didn’t.” He takes a deep breath. “I heard you.”

“You – What?”

“I think I can read your mind.”

She blinks at him, then raises one eyebrow in that “don’t even start” look he loves so much. “You can read my mind.”

“Think something else.”

She sighs, but fixes him with a firm stare and says nothing.

“There’s really no need for that kind of language,” he says, and she gasps.

“You could really hear that?”

“I told you.”

“Oh god,” she says. He can feel how torn she is between believing him and rejecting the idea as completely insane. “But how?”