#will show collection after I reorganize

[exoexid]

okay, so the pool scene was about sailom asking The Questions with the "can you do that for me?" line. he's asking: can i become your new 'objective'? will you let me be the one who sees you? will you let me become one of your pillars, one of your sources of strength and support, so i can be to one who pushes you towards achieving something better for yourself? can i help you by becoming that someone you want to get some acknowledgement from? because i see you, and now i know about your situation.

however, we have known since the very first scenes that sailom never stops thinking. mathematics and numbers are all he knows and they're always present for him. and at this point kang knows about his situation too. so that leads him to ask: "can you do it for me?". i haven't stopped being poor just because we spent the last week together. you know about my debt(s). so can you study for me? can you help me like i know you want to (because, as you said, we're "friends" now)? can you do me a favor, and will you let me keep on tutoring you? can we keep doing this, for our sake? will you let this benefit and comfort us both?

can we keep on helping each other?

[firewasabeast]

if you're still taking prompts:

Buck finds pictures of Tommy in his army days

thank you

@verschlimmbesserung also sent a prompt about DADT, this fic features both prompts! Sorry it took so long to write out! ft. Buck asking loads of questions because he's a curious man.

Buck was busy reorganizing the garage to put the most important boxes toward the front when he stumbled upon an old, tattered box. He and Tommy had moved into their new place nearly two weeks ago, but a wildfire had set them back on being able to unpack and actually get settled.

He didn't recognize the box. Certainly hadn't seen it during their move. The top couldn't even fully close. The flaps were flimsy, torn, and looked like it had been wet and dried a few times over.

He opened the box carefully, then reached in and lifted out a handful of photographs. There were other items inside as well, but the pictures were what grabbed Buck's attention.

They were all Tommy. A young, very handsome Tommy, taken during his time in the army.

Buck had no idea these pictures even existed. Tommy didn't speak much about his time in the military. He wasn't secretive about it, would answer questions when he was asked, but he wasn't one to regularly bring it up in conversation. Buck had always sensed a bit of tension there, so he didn't pry.

The first picture was Tommy in the cockpit, staring straight ahead. He looked hyper-focused on whatever he was doing. The second was him in his bunk, glaring up at whoever took the picture, his hand raised in an attempt to shield himself from the camera. The third was a bit of a shock to see. He had a head injury of some kind, blood exiting a cut on his forehead. He was smiling though, giving the camera a thumbs up.

“Babe, I finished the kitchen boxes, but-” Tommy stopped as he stepped out into the garage and saw Buck staring down at something. “Distracted already? You've been out here like five minutes.”

Buck held up the collection of pictures. “I didn't know you had all these,” he said softly.

Tommy moved closer, taking a few of the photos from Buck's hand. “Oh yeah. I haven't looked at these in, God, like twenty years? Maybe more.”

Buck studied Tommy's face for a moment, checking for any signs that he was upset before asking, “Can we look through them?”

Tommy tore his eyes away from the photographs to look up at Buck. He smiled. “Of course.”

They headed into the living room, which was almost completely bare, but it did have a couch and a coffee table. They laid out the photos and sat down, then Buck began picking them up one by one.

“How old were you here?” he asked. Tommy was staring off into the distance, saluting. He looked like a baby. Didn't even look old enough to shave.

Tommy thought for a moment before responding. “Eighteen, I think? Yeah, that was right after I graduated basic, so eighteen.”

“You look so young.”

“I was actually 5'9 at the time. Had a growth spurt during pilot training.”

Buck picked up another one. Tommy was leaning against a sign that had something written in Arabic, his arms crossed in front of him. “Were you scared?”

“Deep down, sure. Never showed it though.”

“That's why I had to leave SEAL training,” Buck replied. “They wanted machines, and I couldn't be a machine.”

“I don't recommend it.”

Buck spread the pictures out some more, so he could look over a few at a time. “Why don't you ever look through these?” he asked.

Tommy shrugged. “I guess I don't really connect with them anymore. Haven't in a long time.”

“What do you mean?”

Tommy took a deep breath, let it out slowly. He picked up one of the pictures. It was just him, standing in front of a chopper. He had aviator sunglasses on, one leg cocked out in front of the other. There was no smile on his face, just a stern look at the camera. “This guy feels like a different person.” He huffed out a laugh, handed the picture to Buck. “This guy was a sarcastic dick.”

Buck raised an eyebrow. “You, sarcastic? No.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “I was a lot worse back then. Had the worst chip on my shoulder. I'd get angry about anything and everything. Took things that weren't serious way too seriously. Wasn't serious enough about things I should have been serious about. Cocky as hell.”

Buck picked up another picture, looking over every detail.

“I used to pretend he wasn't me, actually,” Tommy continued, gaining Buck's attention once again.

“How so?”

“When I got discharged, after I got home, I threw everything army related into that box out there and shoved it in the back of my closet. Ironic, right?” he quipped. Buck smiled. “Anyway, when memories would weasel their way into my head, I'd do just about anything to get them out. Even when I worked under Gerrard and was still a cocky dick, I tried to make myself feel better by pretending this guy,” he held up another photo, “didn't exist.”

“When'd you change your mind?”

“When I started going to therapy. Learned to embrace who I was instead of try to run from it. Running doesn't really work anyway when you're trying to get away from yourself.”

Buck looked through a few more of the photos before speaking again. “Why were you discharged?”

Tommy looked genuinely surprised by the question. “I never told you?”

“No.”

“Wow. Here I was thinking we knew each other inside out.”

“Well, technically.” Buck wiggled his eyebrows.

Tommy laughed, shook his head. He moved some of the pictures around until he found a certain one. He showed it to Buck. It was four guys sitting next to one another in the middle of the desert. Three of them, including Tommy, had their middle fingers raised high in the air. The guy at the end held two fingers up in a peace sign.

“See the guy with the peace sign?”

Buck nodded. “Mhm.”

“He's the reason I was discharged. Shockingly, out of everyone in that photo, he was the biggest ass of all.”

“What happened?”

“I joined in 2002, and I was deployed immediately after I finished flight school. It was 2003 by then, but 9/11 was still fresh in everyone's mind, and they needed soldiers. I was originally deployed for six months, but that turned into a year, and then an extra three months was added to that. I had two months left when that guy showed up. His name's Hunter, by the way," he spoke the man's name with distain.

Buck took a closer look at the man. He looked a couple years older than Tommy. He had dark hair, darker eyes, a nice smile. Even though they were sitting, Buck could tell he was shorter than the rest of the guys in the picture. It appeared he tried to make up for his height by working out. He was broader than the others.

“Hunter,” Tommy continued, “seemed to fit right in with the rest of us. He was quieter though, which I kinda liked. So many people in the army were aggressively loud, all the time, so he was a nice change.”

“This story doesn't end happily, does it?”

Tommy looked at him and grinned, but it didn't reach his eyes. “He and I worked together a lot. Maybe it was something about the fact he was so quiet that it made me feel safer to, I don't know, to be more open with him. That's my mistake. Over the span of a month we'd gotten to know each other pretty well. Honestly, I thought he was coming on to me sometimes but you didn't say anything about that back then.”

“Don't ask, don't tell.” Buck knew exactly where this was going.

Tommy nodded. “He came to me one evening. Said he had to get something off his chest. Told me he had all these feelings for me and wondered if I felt the same. I-” Tommy paused, took a breath. Buck took the opportunity to reach over and take his hand, squeezing it tight. “I said I did. Said we couldn't do anything about it, but that I liked him more than I probably should. He, um, he recorded my part of the conversation.”

Buck sigh, squeezed his eyes shut. “God.”

“I don't know how he could tell, you know? I'd spent fourteen months with some of these guys and no one had ever suspected a thing. But, the next day I was called in for a meeting with my CO, and he played the tape for me. Told me I was a good soldier, but he couldn't have that type of behavior in the field. He said he'd be kind though and give me a general discharge so it wouldn't look as bad in my records.”

“I- I don't even know what to say, Tommy. That's terrible, honestly. I don't know why that was ever even a thing, and that guy was so stupid and-”

Tommy squeezed Buck's hand now, smiling at him gently. “It was a long time ago, babe. It's okay, I'm okay,” he reassured him. “A lot of people had it much worse than I did. Lots of them got dishonorably discharged, some were beaten up, some were murdered. I was lucky, really.”

Buck felt on the verge of tears now. He cleared his throat, hoping his voice didn't break as he spoke. “It doesn't make what happened to you right though.”

“I know. Like I said, I wasn't the best person then either. But,” he glanced over the photos, “this guy's me, whether I like it or not.”

Buck scooted closer to Tommy, taking Tommy's arm and wrapping his own around it, “I like it,” he said quietly, pressing a kiss to Tommy's bicep. The words garnered a questioning look from Tommy. “Without this guy,” Buck explained, “you wouldn't be who you are now, and I like who you are now. I love who you are now.”

Tommy took his free hand and brought two fingers up to Buck's chin, lifting it until their eyes met. “I really, really love you,” he said before leaning in for a kiss.

Buck hummed into it. No matter how many times they'd done it, something about kissing Tommy always made him emotional. Like another weight was lifted from his body every time their lips met.

“We really need to get back to unpacking,” Tommy murmured as they parted, but Buck made no effort to move.

“We're both off tomorrow too,” Buck replied, resting his head on Tommy's shoulder and closing his eyes. “It can wait.”

Sometimes Tommy wondered how he got here. How he ever got lucky enough to end up with someone like Evan. Someone so loving and forgiving. Someone who loved him and his flaws. Someone who made him feel free. Tommy settled further into the couch, pressing a kiss to the top of Buck's head. “Yeah,” he agreed, “it can wait.”

[sweetiesicheng]

s.coups - bakery

word count : 1,612

-

"y/n, seungcheol, want to take anything home?" your manager asked while you two were cleaning the dining area of the bakery you work in.

"oh, if we have anymore of the chocolate expresso cakes, i'll take that," you answered while sweeping.

"my roommates will probably want stuff," seungcheol answered from across the room. he was wiping down some of the tables.

"i'll pack both of you a box," your manager said and grabbed some of the boxes that were used for to pack orders.

you continued sweeping the floor and swept all of the debris and trash into a dust pan. once you were done, you threw the debris away and placed the broom and dust pan in a closet that had a bunch of cleaning supplies inside.

"y/n, bring all of these to your parents. they can give them out to their workers," your manager said while closing a box. you looked over and saw quite a few boxes on the counter and cases.

"oh, sure. thank you!" you said to your manager.

"do you need help? i can drive you," seungcheol asked you after pushing a chair in.

you looked over at him and saw him walk through the dining room.

"are you sure? don't you need to go to the park?" you asked. almost after every shift, seungcheol would play basketball with his friends.

“i’ll just drop them off to them and go back if all of them are still there,” he said to you while passing by you to go behind the counter. “i don’t mind,” he said and you nodded.

seunghceol walked into the back and started putting supplies away. you washed your hands in the sink and checked to make sure that all of the pickup orders were gone. however, you found an order in the fridge.

"hey minhyun!" you called out to your manager. "there's a pickup in here," you said and opened a fridge.

"we still have one? i swear all of the orders were picked up," your manager said and walked out from the back. "let me see," he said and you handed him the order, letting the fridge door close itself. "i'll call them. you and seungcheol fill stuff up in the back.”

"got it," you said with a nod.

you went into the kitchen and noticed that seungcheol was putting sacks and containers of ingredients onto one of the benches.

"i'll refill the chocolates first," you said to him.

he nodded, "okay."

you started opening packages with different chocolates in them and put them into bins. seungcheol started helping you once he brought in the last bag of flour that was needed.

"it's satisfying seeing the bins filled up," seungcheol commented as he started collecting empty containers from a shelf for more ingredients.

"yea, it's really nice," you replied. "okay, this is done," you said and pushed a container to the end of the bench.

"hey, that pickup order is a no show," you manager spoke, walking into the kitchen. "one of you can take it. it's chocolate with strawberries and chocolate ganache in it," he mentioned.

"i’m good. the cake can’t even fit in my fridge anyways," you said, looking at seungcheol.

"i can probably find someone to take it," seungcheol spoke up.

"that works with me," your manager said to you two. "both of you finish up what you're doing and head out. i have to reorganize a bunch of stuff in the morning anyways when the shipments come in," they mentioned.

"do you need me to come in tomorrow morning? i'm free," you offered.

"no, don't worry about it," your manager said before opening a door to a closet. "i'll see you guys on wednesday."

"see ya," seungcheol said throwing his hand up to say bye. “is it alright if we go to the park first?" he asked you while untying his apron.

"that's fine," you replied to him and untied your apron.

seungcheol hung his apron on a hook attached to one of the walls and held his hand out towards you. you took your apron off and handed it to him before walking into the front.

you reached for your bag, which was under the counter where the register was. the leftovers that your manager packed up for you and seungcheol were on top of one of the dessert cases.

"man, we have way too much," seungcheol said as he walked past behind you. he had grabbed a box from one of the counters and headed outside.

you followed him out of the bakery and to his car. he unlocked his car and opened one of the doors to the backseats. then, he placed the box he had gotten inside before reaching out to grab the two bags from you.

"we have enough desserts for like a month," you commented as you two went back inside.

"my friends will make all of this go away in a few days probably," seungcheol replied. both of you grabbed the remaining boxes and bags and left the bakery. "where should i bring you? your apartment?" he asked you.

"i'm dropping most of this off at my parents house," you said, "it's near my apartment if you want to head in that direction."

he nodded, "okay. let's go to the park first," he said.

you placed everything into his car, making sure nothing would tip over before getting into the front seats. seungcheol turned the car on while you put your seatbelt on.

"music's all you," he said to you, handing his phone to you.

"thanks," you replied. seungcheol started driving while you looked at the songs on his phone. you found a playlist and started playing it.

the drive to the park wasn't long, so you got there after about ten minutes. seungcheol parked his car and grabbed his phone from the cup holder you had put it in. he started texting someone before putting his phone down.

"i texted jeonghan, some of the guys should be by soon," he mentioned.

you nodded, "okay."

the two of you sat there silently with music still playing from the stereo. you glanced over at seungcheol and noticed him looking at you.

"something wrong?" you asked him.

he shook his head, "it's nothing."

"nothing? you sure about that?" you asked. "is there something in my face?" you asked, pulling down the sun visor and sliding the mirror open. "oh, there's nothing," you said while looking at yourself.

"i was thinking how pretty you are."

you looked over at seungcheol again. he had a small smile on his face.

"you're lying."

"i'd never lie to you."

you stared at him. "you're still lying."

"you know i'd never lie. even at work, i tell my customers my opinions on the treats. just like that raspberry treat from a few weeks ago," seungcheol said to you.

all of a sudden, someone knocked on the window next to you. you turned your head and saw some of seungcheol's friends that you have seen a few times. seungcheol rolled the window down.

"where's everyone? there's a lot," seungcheol said to his friends, leaning over the center console a bit.

"they're in a middle of a game. we'll just grab it all," junhui said. "hi y/n."

"hey guys."

"y/n, help me sort everything," seungcheol said to you before getting out of his car.

the guys moved out of the way so you could get out of the car. you helped take bags out of seungcheol's car and brought them to wear all of his friends were hanging out.

"hey, y/n's here with seungcheol!" mingyu mentioned the second he saw you walk onto the court.

"i'll grab these for you," chan said as he ran up to you.

"oh, thanks," you said as you handed the bags to him. "be careful with them."

"i will, i will," he said before turning around to walk to a set of bleachers.

"you guys staying for a bit?" joshua asked.

"i need to bring her home. text me if you guys leave," seungcheol said.

"is there more stuff?" seungkwan asked.

"we got everything," seokmin mentioned.

"i'll see you guys later," seungcheol said to them. "vernon! i'm free tomorrow to pick up that bookcase!" he yelled at one of the guys sitting in the bleachers. the latter throws a thumbs up into the air while the other hand holds a cupcake. "alright, let's go," he said to you.

"yea," you nodded.

the two of you went back go seungcheol's car. just as both of you were about to get into his car, he called out for you, "y/n."

"yea?" you looked at him.

"you and me, friday after our shift, let's go out," he said before getting into his car.

you ducked your head down, "what?"

"geez, do i need to spell it out for you? y/n, i like you," seungcheol said to you. he looked away, turning his car on and checking his mirrors, "i liked you since your second week at the bakery..." after he was done fixing his rear view mirror, he looked at you, "get in already."

you were still in disbelief as you got into his car. you closed the door and sat back in the seat, "is this a prank?"

"hey, don't play with my feelings."

"how can i believe—" seungcheol interrupted you to kiss you in the lips.

when he pulled back, he chuckled at you, "you good?"

"aren't you supposed to kiss me like on the second or third date?"

"i don't hear a complaint."

"...choi seungcheol...you're crazy."

"yea, just a little when it comes to you."

[mediocreanomaly]

NESTING? PLS 😭 like ARE WE CONNECTED SOMEHOW this is so good

i have drowsy knives purring himself to sleep stuck in my head now--THIS IS LITERAL GOLD 😭 it would take a v special s/o to pick up the slight nuances of his emotions too n he'd be head over heels 🥺

but nesting instincts 🥺 please for the love of everything knives elaborate i i i wanna know all there is to know ab this man 🥺👉👈

n maybe vashy seperately too?? 🥴

Authors Note: Turned this into a full post because I'm procrastinating my drabbles anyways lmao this is going to give away a teeny tiny bit of my uncanny Vash post I'm making but I love talking about the Twins and their less than human instincts

Savern Twins Nesting HC's

Knives

•Knives is surprisingly the less embarrassed of the twins about nesting instincts, this is solely based on the fact that he doesn't see his plant qualities to be anything to be ashamed about, it's just another thing that sets him apart from humans

•Although, no one (besides you) knows about Knives nest. You may wonder how the two points can co-exist but that because a Plant's nest is supposed to be somewhere secure and safe. So while he's not embarrassed that he has a nest, he's not going to openly talk about it and risk giving away someone trying to get a peek of it (not that he really openly talks about anything)

•Knives nest is big, he had a bed custom made that's larger than a kings but circular and with plush raised walls so it feels not secure and less in the open. He's collected various blankets and pillows that fill the empty space so that he can bundle up under them, all of it is white because he refuses to let his nest look ugly or disorganized

•He's a perfectionist too so he spends a lot of time organizing and reorganizing his nest. Every time he gets a new blanket or pillow to add he has to redo the whole thing to make sure it's in the perfect spot or else he refuses to sleep in it

•Now Knives doesn't have to sleep much like he doesn't have to eat, but sleeping is something enjoys. He stresses about his plans a lot even if he doesn't show it outwardly. What better way to destress than napping in his nest?

•Whenever he decides to officially make you his mate (yes he calls it that, what else is he supposed to call it? Everything else sounds too human) all his instincts will scream at him to burrow into his nest

•For awhile you'll actually be hard pressed to even be allowed out of the nest, because why would you want to leave? As your mate Knives needs to keep you safe, and where's the safest place in the world? His safest place in the world, so please stop trying to leave the nest- you're hungry? fine he'll bring you food that you can eat in the nest

•I honestly don't think Independents hold body heat because their sisters live in water, which is one of many reasons they nest. It's also why Nai will drag you in with him when he wants to sleep so he can bum off your body heat. That's when when you learn he can purr (yeah thats right Plants purr propaganda) naps like this are the best. It's hard to stay awake when he's got you cuddled under blankets, gentle rumbles lulling you asleep

•After awhile you'll be allowed out so long as you are by his side or being escorted by Legato, or atleast unless you get pregnant

•If Knives manages to get you pregnant...you are banished to the nest again. It's not so bad though, besides he likes you like this. All round and full of his child, surrounded by plush comforters and pillows that cradle your form. At this point he won't leave your side unless he has to, if his instincts were bad before then they are haywire now, he stays curled up with you because theres no way you'd be able to defend yourself in a state like this, it's his job as your mate to keep you and his unborn child safe and sound, tucked away from the rest of the world

•When the baby is born it's where you'll spend most your time too, I mean...c'mon think about it. Your little one all tucked against you and Nai curled protectively around both of you, gentle purrs from both him and your baby as both their plant markings glow ever so slightly? If there's such thing as heaven this is it

•Knives has purposely made his nest large enough to hold his growing family, so no matter how many children you have you'll all get to curl up in the nest to find comfort or just to sleep.

•I think unfortunately once the children hit a certain age they are kicked out of the nest lol, it's more reserved for a Plants mate and young ones, so starting at maybe teen age it's time for them to make their own nest

•This isn't to say they aren't ever allowed in at all though. If Knives children are in any sort of distress his instincts kick in telling him to make sure their safe so in times like that they are still allowed in, the purpose of the nest is to provide him and his family with safety and comfort so no matter what it's there waiting for you

Vash

•Vash is admittedly a bit more embarrassed about the fact that he nest

•He tries his best to blend in with humans and thinks that people might find it weird that his instincts are constantly telling him to grab every soft thing he can find and hunker down

•Not that it really matters because he's always on the run anyways, he doesn't have time to stop and nest in the first place which makes it an easy an excuse to not nest at all, so Vash doesn't have a nest...right?

•Wrong. Like I said it's instinct and even Vash can't help but begin to nest in whatever shitty motel room he's in, especially if he's had a really rough day and just wants to sleep.

•Vash's nest is...admittedly a bit more pitiful than Knives. Knives has the advantage of staying in one spot, Vash does not, so he doesn't have a single nest but more so a hastily made one consisting of anything soft he can find. old blankets, pillows, clothes, rags, and even his own coat all make up his haphazard resting place.

•When he meets you though oh boy does it make it harder to resist the urge to stay and make a nice big nest for the two of you to hide away in

•It takes awhile for you to learn of Vash's little habit because he tries really hard to hide it away. He doesn't want you to think he's weird so when he does show it to you and you don't react negativly he's shyly asking, "do you...want to get in it?"

•Please say yes, his heart can't take any other answer. After that Vash is more keen on nesting even though the two of you travel, you even buy him a couple blankets that you pack up and bring so that he has something more consistant to nest with. The two of you will arrive at the motel for the night and you sit on the bed watching as Vash sleepily mulls over the blankets, pillows, and clothes he's choosen and organses it in a satisfactory way before he weakily pulls you in with him, purring as he cuddles up to you

•If you run your hand through his hair you'll be rewarded with more purrs and him nuzzling into your hand, but don't comment on it or he'll get embarrassed and hide his face into the blankets while he pulls away

•Vash wouldn't try to get you pregnant unless it was after he dealt with his brother and at that point I think he'd have a more permanent nest. Whether that's on Ship 3 or your own little home he's finally got a spot that he knows is always there, perfect to keep you in while you grow your baby!

•Vash loves spending time in the nest, it's from a mixture of putting off his instincts so long when he was on the run and the fact he actually has a place of comfort for once that does it, so if you can't find your partner...he's most likely buried in the nest

•It's super cute though, you'll walk in the room and softly call "Vash?" and his head will peak out of the mountain of blankets eyes still half lidded with sleep and hair all messy as he says a soft "hmm?"

•This nest is still a bit more messy and it's one of those "it looks disorganized but Vash know exactly where everything is" situations, he doesn't really care about colors or anything, infact it's proably mostly blankets that other people have gifted him over the years, he feels like it tells a story

•Unlike Knives, you'll have to be the one to eventually kick the kids out of the nest once they get older because "what do you mean they can't stay in here with us? Their still our baby!" "Vash their 20" "and?"

•Vash's plant marks always appear when he's in the nest, he can't help it! It's so comforting, besides he has you here warming him up and your kids cuddled in the covers- oop he's crying, don't worry they're happy tears

After note: I hope you liked it!!! I wanted to add more stuff about you being able to read Knives but it didn't really fit so that might have to be saved for another list I'm a firm "the boys do weird but cute animal things" believer and it's my job to infect people with that propaganda

[eamour]

don't rush the process.

this is a post that goes out to all the people who currently have this "i need to have it now!! what‘s the fastest way??" mindset. i am telling you now that you do don’t need to rush the process. yes, you will get all of your desires. no "what if's", no "but's" — you have the ability to make your life beautiful and you will do that, regardless of how much time it might take you.

feel free to take your time.

actually, time doesn’t exist. hence the concept of the multiverse and parallel realities happening in this moment where you experience time very differently (in one reality you are a 13 year old, in one you are 45, in the other a day is 75 hours long, or in one reality an hour is 30 minutes long, and so on), time isn’t linear. it really pretty much is relative (einstein, our lord and saviour).

step by step.

take in the information, one by one. reorganize your thoughts and spend some time maybe facing and analyzing them. why do you have these thoughts? what makes you feel that way? try to get down to the roots of the issue.

you can organize thoughts by maybe writing them down. by maybe talking to someone about it. or maybe even talking to yourself. the main point of this is that you stop keeping negative thoughts to yourself. you might not be aware of it, but trying to not think of bad things doesn’t necessarily mean that you stop persisting in them. that’s not how a mental diet works. you face the issue, you comprehend it, and then you go against it. after you have witnessed a possible undesirable outcome, you can choose to declare it as false. — as in "it will simply not happen!", "nah, not true" or "this is so wrong". that’s when you start to persist in the outcome that you want to manifest or at least stop persisting in an assumption that you dislike, fear or hate.

take a break, if you want.

if you ever feel overwhelmed by all the information you think you might have overconsumed, take a step back and let yourself breathe. let your thoughts flow through your mind and just calm down, take a break. sometimes we need to slow down before we can continue again. sometimes you really just need to collect yourself and become aware of the intrusive thoughts you are having that just become louder and louder the more you try to force manifesting. it’s up to you to recognize that and to decide to give yourself some rest. there is nothing wrong with mentally resting and it’s definitely not something to be ashamed of. on the other hand, i think it might be very necessary at times. people who have a goal and who want to achieve it no matter what within the shortest amount of time often refuse to take breaks and just become entirely unavailable for a pause. and i understand that very well. but a break doesn’t have to be tiring. it doesn’t mean that you don’t get to do anything and force yourself even more to not think of anything unfavourable. taking a break means to allow thoughts, even negative ones, instead of forcefully pushing them away and trying to ignore them although you can’t seem to stop persisting in them. sometimes we encounter undesirable thoughts and they keep reappearing and sometimes we just need to let it happen. trust me, you aren’t taking steps backwards or erasing your progress. you are simply observing your thoughts instead of reacting to them right immediately.

you are already doing just fine.

there is simply no reason to rush all of this. no one expects you to have your desires and be a perfect runway model with a penthouse by next week. you are the only person in your life that can dictate yourself what to do, that can grant you your wishes, that can console and understand you… be empathetic with yourself. some people put such immense pressure on themselves, it’s really not doing you any good. yes, i totally get it. you want to have your desires as soon as possible, you might wanna show off, just break out of this cycle and show the world what you got. i know you want to prove it to yourself and maybe even the people around you as well. but you are perfect no matter what. you are a winner no matter what. you don’t need to manifest all of your desires right away and be a genius at persisting. you already manifest at all times, no one is going to judge your progress. and the same way you don’t need to "earn" the title "master manifestor". the fact that you are you, the main character, the only person in your reality that can manifest, makes you a master already. you have no one to compare yourself to other than yourself.

with love, ella.

[headkiss]

hi! i love ur work so much :) was wondering if you could do an eddie x reader (kinda friends to lovers), where the reader is super energetic, kind of a golden retriever gf LMFAO and just a big ball of sunshine. and she loves to explore and have fun and be spontaneous and at first eddie is weirded out by her and doesn’t want to admit that he has feelings for her but then he starts to fall in love with her and her quirks slowly but surely. thank u <3333

thank you!! and ty for ur request i hope this is somewhat what u wanted <3 | 0.6k of fluff

When Eddie first met you he thought you were sort of strange. Not in a bad way, really, just in a way that made it difficult for him to make his mind up about how he felt about you.

Robin introduced the two of you and right away, you started talking his ear off. You told him you wanted to go snorkeling in Lover’s Lake, for fucks sake.

“You won’t be able to see anything, you know?” He’d replied.

“I know, I just want to breathe out of the tube and float there. I think it’d be fun.”

Well, his idea of fun certainly didn’t involve sitting with his face in that murky water just to breathe out of a tube with an uncomfortable mouth piece.

But, over time, with your slow joining into the group, he went from finding you weird (actually) to weird (affectionate).

It took time for him to get used to your quick talking and blinding personality, that’s all.

Now, he’s not at all surprised when you call him to join you on aimless walks because you want to ‘breathe outside air,’ or when you show up at his door and tell him to get in the car because there’s a place you wanna see.

He’s not at all surprised and he’s way too happy to join you on your random adventures. He feels lucky that you choose him to go with you, really.

Today, you show up unannounced. He knows it’s you by the way you knock on his door, always tapping in some sort of song-like pattern.

“Eddie!” You cheer when he opens the door.

“Hi, sunshine.”

“Hi. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to the park?”

“The park?”

“Yeah! Don’t you miss going on the swings?” You ask, pushing your hair over your shoulder. “They were always my favorite.”

He really doesn’t miss the swings, but he grabs his jacket and puts on his boots anyway.

Eddie likes to convince himself that he does these things for you out of kindness when it’s really just because he’d probably do anything for you. He never wanted to feel any type of way towards you and yet, he likes you a lot.

His nickname for you is the truth to him. You’re pure sunshine, even when it’s cloudy as hell. You’re warm, and bright, and you wear a smile that’s almost impossible not to reciprocate.

He finds himself wanting to protect you from everything bad in the world, if only it means you’ll keep smiling like that.

“Hey, moon?” You started calling him moon after he started calling you sunshine. For balance, you told him.

“Mhm?”

You listen to the rhythm of your footsteps, the way they match up.

“Do you have a favorite star?”

He looks at the side of your face as you walk, the way the wind tosses your hair around, the little pout on your mouth like it’s a very serious question.

“Yeah,” his hand brushes yours briefly, “the sun.”

His answer makes you smile at your feet.

You’ve liked Eddie since you met him, his edgy exterior housing a very soft person inside. He’s a very sweet boy, humoring you even when he doesn’t want to, letting you flick through his music collection in the van even if he’ll have to reorganize it after.

You can't be certain, but you’d like to think he likes you, too. That he’s trying to tell you something with his answer of ‘the sun.’

“Well, mine’s the moon.”

“The moon’s not a star.”

His heart does a stupid little jump.

“Since when do you care about rules?”

“Good point.” His hand brushes yours again. “I like your answer.”

“I like my answer, too.” I like you.

The next time your hands brush, Eddie takes a hold of yours. Your fingers intertwine perfectly, you think, like finding the very last piece of a jigsaw puzzle.

A completed image.

[aclowntiny]

hiii happy 700‼️‼️ you talented, talented writer. you’re just so engaging.. of course you’d gain this audience :p

anywhooo, can i request little scenarios of how the atz members show (what you think) their love languages to their s.o.

🥹🥹🥹 you're too sweet!!! That really means the world to me as someone who dreams of becoming a legit writer someday! Well I'm really glad you're a part of that audience 🥰

Ateez + Love Languages

Hongjoong- Words of Affirmation + Quality Time

♡ Hongjoong knows the feeling of doubting oneself, the journey toward confidence. How some days it feels complete, others are a total step back, but to him, people who love each other will always show their appreciation & support visibly, audibly. He tries to tell you you’re doing enough, but also motivate you to be your best with reminders of how well you’re doing, so you can keep going!

♡ Being so busy, Hongjoong is going to milk the crap out of time you get together. Plus, as someone who sees himself falling slowly for someone & forming an emotional connection, time at your side is how he’s going to feel bonded to you. It upsets him if someone interrupts or if you blow it off by spending it all on your phone or the like.

♡ Compliments your outfits of courseeee! He can tell when you’re either A. Totally rocking your style, thusly he must hype your awesomeness up or B. Feeling less confident if you’re going out of your comfort zone, thusly he shall reassure you that you look amazing in everything! He appreciates you challenging yourself so long as you’re doing it for yourself & feeling ok.

♡ Sometimes all he wants to do is just sit with you & look at you like a lil fool in love because he just can’t believe he gets to be with you 🥺

♡ “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I won’t judge you. It’s hard to lean on others sometimes, but I want to be someone you can lean on, ok?”

♡ Invites you into his time, like bringing you on coffee breaks or asking you to reform clothes with him. You KNOW the piece you customize is going to become a favorite of his just because it’s had your hands on it & came from your beautiful mind! & how do you know? He tells you so himself 😌

♡ Writes the most poetic love messages on sticky notes & leaves them on your stuff like it isn’t going to short-circuit you before work. Especially since sometimes they can be a bit spicy 🫣

♡ Even at his busiest, he tries to meet you for coffee or lunch breaks, heart leaping at the way you always remind him to eat & drink to stay healthy. Midday breaks work well for your schedule & give him a break from hitting that ‘work wall’ classic of afternoons. You remind him to take care of himself & make his day with your mere presence. It gives him energy, perspective on why he does what he does.

Seonghwa- Acts of Service + Quality Time

♡ He’s naturally very caring & capable, so doing things to take care of you is second nature to Seonghwa. The domesticity also brings joy to his heart, just feeling like you’re living in harmony, swapping tasks like couples in later stages do. It helps him look to the future.

♡ But being together is enough for him, even if it’s doing something small like listening to music together or building a relaxing, simple lego set. Just having you at his side is enough for him, it doesn’t have to be elaborate.

♡ “Oh hey you’re back? While I was housesitting I reorganized your closet & deep cleaned! ☺️” “You what?” You gape. “I didn’t fold the laundry yet, maybe we could do it together?”

♡ ADORES pampering you! Loves doing little spa day type things & doing your hair, anything to feel close to you & help you vent & unwind after your day.

♡ Cooks 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 you 👏🏻 this man will learn how to make your favorite meal if he can so he can surprise you with it! Especially if you have a long day at work.

♡ Please let him talk to you about all the cool Star Wars facts he’s learned or about what he’s collecting, it’ll make him so happy & you get to see Seonghwa all lit up with that wonderful childlike smile of joy. He needs a partner who will listen & support the things he loves 😌

♡ Sick? This guy has you covered! You won’t have to move a muscle. He’ll make you soup, heat a water bottle for you, bring you medicine, put on your favorite comfort show or movie to watch, give you more blankets…shall I go on?

♡ 100 percent a stargazing date guy. Just you & him, bodies tangled & voices hushed in the breeze? SPACE??? Sign Seonghwa up! He’d fly you to the moon to spend time with you if he could!

Yunho- Acts of Service + Gifts

♡ Yunho loves doing little things for you, especially if it’s reaching things up high for someone shorter 😉 it’s like a good version of being devious, like he gets a special proud pleasure over sneakily surprising you with tasks you thought you’d have to do being done. Ha, take that, surprise love & care!

♡ In that same vein, Yunho loves your wide-eyed look when he whips out your favorite dessert or a new accessory or a cute collectible that’ll look perfect on your shelf, anything that made him think of you.

♡ He loves being able to teach you things, so secretly he’s always waiting for you to ask him ‘how’ questions. Seeing your approach to new information is refreshing & he loves feeling like you two are sharing knowledge.

♡ Your shoes are hurting your feet? BUYS YOU A NEW PAIR OF SHOES before the date can continue! He may straight-up carry you some too.

♡ This man will carry ANYTHING you might need in his bag. You take meds? He has some. Have long hair? He’s got hair ties. Need products like pads? A few are squirreled away where the guys won’t see, but you can always find them.

♡ Almost anything you get him, he walks around & shows everyone like it’s made of gold, even if it’s just flowers or chocolates, because you’re his Midas & everything you touch is gold 🥰

♡ Lets you steal pretty much all of his clothing tbh. Thinks it’s so cute to see you in it & can justify with almost anything why you need it more. You’re colder, he has more gloves than you do, you look really hot in it…

♡ Even starts buying things for himself in colors you like hoping you will soon be anticipating you stealing it hehe. Also gets more of the cologne you like the best so they smell how you like 🤭

Yeosang- Quality Time + Words of Affirmation

♡ Being introverted, it’s a big deal for Yeosang when time with another person can still be recharging, still feel like he’s taking some for himself, & with you he has that. You can be comfortable in silence together or just gently holding each other & it’s perfect. Your conversations are so fun, too, as random topics just fly into his head & you play off them so well!

♡ As much as people stereotype him as being sassy, he’s a very sweet & comforting person, too, so he’ll share with you the sweetest nothings! His innocent eyes find beauty in silly little things you don’t even appreciate or recognize about yourself.

♡ Yeosang loves cute activities like tea parties or picnics where you can sit & chat & enjoy scenery, food, & each other’s company! Just quiet time to be side by side away from the world.

♡ Leans in with a conspiratorial expression while you’re out, only to whisper in your ear that you’re beautiful.

♡ Has lowkey always dreamed of doing one of those DIY date nights in with the blanket fort, so that’s what he does one evening when you come over! He has it all built & lit up, but you guys prepare snacks & pick the movie before cozying up inside.

♡ Instead of telling you you’re going to be amazing at everything, Yeosang is the type to be a bit more realistic & remind you that even if it’s not perfect at first, you’ll only get better from there! There’s no such thing as failure, just learning experiences.

♡ Get ready for the most intense eye contact of your life. Yeosang can make you blush with the way he stares at you alone. He can hold so much weight of meaning with just one look.

♡ When you aren’t together, he makes sure to tell you it isn’t the same without you so you never doubt if he misses you or thinks of you when you’re not there.

San- Physical Touch + Words of Affirmation

♡ Cuddly boy 🥲 Sannie hugs you like his life depends on it but don’t worry he also gives the best most loving hugs ever fite me

♡ Confidence hasn’t always been his strong suit, so even if he gets taken aback by it, San really appreciates reminders that he’s doing well & how important he is. Just because he wishes to hear those things doesn’t mean it’s one-sided though, because he easily will say the sweetest encouragement to everyone he loves!

♡ One of his habits is running his thumb across your knuckles or the back of your hand when you’re next to each other 🥺

♡ Looks at any hobby or project you do with sparkling eyes of amazement, telling you how cool it is to have any given random skill! If you show him how he playfully calls you teacher.

♡ If you guys walk by a road, he’ll pull you to the inside so he’s the one walking closest to traffic. & if by chance his hand stays at your waist when you walk, oh darn 🤷🏻‍♀️

♡ Has deep conversations with you where you lay on your backs together, heads lightly touching as you look up at nothing, & discuss things like your place in the world & how you want to be remembered. After it’s all said & done, silence descending again, San tells you you make him feel important & your heart fills at his genuine tone.

♡ As if he can read your mind, he knows when you’re stressed out, & when you are he’ll rub up & down your arm or draw soothing circles on your back.

♡ Texts you good morning every single morning you’re apart & tells you he loves you so loving words are what you wake up to even if he isn’t there to share them 🥲

Mingi- Words of Affirmation + Physical Touch

♡ Mingi enjoys receiving compliments, so he naturally tries to give them too! He loves hyping you up especially if you get all cute & shy.

♡ We’re well aware this man LOVES holding hands! It’s his little habit & he loves the connected feeling of your intertwined fingers. If you hold on tight it makes Mingi feel so loved please do it!

♡ “wOW YOU LOOK SO GOOD BABE OH MY GOSHHHH!!!” “Mingi, that’s embarrassing!” “I don’t care, you’re hot! Woohoo!”

♡ Physically lifts you??? Expect to ride up on Mingi’s shoulders & get carried bridal/style when he feels like scooping you up, either out of mischief or to flirt 😘 it adds some ✨zest✨ to a kiss you know?

♡ The words of others are often put into context. “You know anything negative they say without cause reflects more on them than on you, right?” They may be simple reminders, but they really help.

♡ Gets excited like a big puppy & pulls you around to look at things 🥺 takes you by the hand or shoulder to guide you without thinking most of the time honestly.

♡ Mingi likes to feel needed, so he asks you if you need his help or want him to come with you to do things a lot. On the flip side, he always picks you on his team when he can & asks for your help too, telling you he can’t do whatever he’s doing without you! Calls you his good luck charm!

♡ Big spoon alert! Mingi holds you so tight against his chest like you’re what keeps his heart beating. Probably because you basically are & he’ll tell you that.

Wooyoung- Physical Touch + Gifts

♡ We all know Wooyoung loves to touch & be touched 🤭 it's definitely a way for him to show love & appreciation!

♡ He also absolutely ADORES feeling like he's spoiling you, it makes him feel so proud & seeing your smile at a surprise melts him like little else!

♡ “You got me the necklace I was looking at? But it was so expensive, I-” “Shhh,” smiling proudly, Wooyoung pats your cheek, “don’t worry about that. I wanted to. I already know what your next one will look like too~ That one will have my initials on it!”

♡ Man will have a hand on you CONSTANTLY!!! If you’re sitting next to each other his arm is around your shoulder or his hand is on your knee/thigh. When you walk, his arm is around your waist, linked with yours, or he’s reaching to grab your hand.

♡ Buys ridiculous corny couple items & expects you to actually wear them 😅 but he also gets you tastefully coordinated pieces to his so that makes up for it.

♡ *Puts his hands over your eyes* “Guess who?” POUTS if you get it wrong, but then gives you a hell of a kiss “to jog your memory” 👀

♡ Thinks it’s really dashing to surprise you with flowers, so he’ll pull a single red rose out of nowhere for you, smiling roguishly, or show up at your door with a bouquet in hand!

♡ Sneaks up behind you to tickle you or scoop you into his arms suddenly because he likes the noises of surprise you make & thinks it’s funny if you fight back. Tells you how cute you are no matter how you react.

Jongho- Acts of Service + Quality Time

♡ Being a practical person, Jongho likes finding concrete ways to make your life easier; in his mind, it shows how much he cares in a way that doesn't take up space & serves as a legitimate reminder that he firmly views relationships as partnerships. Neither of you two are truly alone in anything.

♡ In a similar vein, Jongho is a very active listener- when you're speaking, as much as possible his focus & consideration will be on you. When you're together, he sees that as time for bonding, even if you aren't doing anything too romantic or extravagant. The effort & comfort in each other's presence is the most important thing!

♡ You will never lift another heavy object in your life as long as Mr. Choi Jongho can help it. It’ll get scooped right up out of your arms like it’s nothing.

♡ He’ll lowkey smack anyone who tries to interrupt your time together/conversation hehe >:) like shut up, I’m not talking to you!!! I’m talking to my s/o 🤚🏼

♡ It’s not something often thought of as an act of service, but Jongho is really good at coming up with encouraging solutions when you’re stressed & making your problems seem that much smaller once you talk to him.

♡ Jongho really puts effort into going places or doing things you like, even if it’s not his thing. Being pretty tolerant & laid-back, he just rationalizes it as another chance to have time with you. Plus he gets to enjoy seeing you in your element!

♡ Wants to make all your goals reality. If you resolve to start working out more, he’ll go with you to the gym & keep it a habit. Maybe you want to study something? He’ll learn practice questions to ask you or hold your flash cards for you ☺️

♡ Though he’s not the most touchy-feely person, sometimes he likes to backhug you or just drape his arms over you while you sit to feel you & make his presence known, even if you two aren’t having an involved conversation. Most of the time he just stands at your side or behind you because he feels like just being in each other’s presence is reassuring & harmonious.

[meowjaa]

✧ levi having a massive crush on y/n ✧

a/n: some cute little ideas like sort of scenarios BUT I CAN JUST IMAGINE THIS TITLED "levi having a massive crush on y/n for 5 minutes" like one of those type videos but heres a bullet list of those anyways enjoy my loves <33

After seeing Y/N trip over nothing, Levi sarcastically asks if she's ever considered trying out for the ballet.

Y/N catches Levi reorganizing the bookshelf for the third time that week and teases him about what a "fun Saturday night" he's having. Levi says at least his idea of fun doesn't involve belting out 90s pop songs drunkenly at 2am like SOME people…

Levi "subtly" fixes his hair for the fifth time before Y/N arrives and denies doing any such thing when she points it out.

When Y/N stretches and a sliver of her midriff shows, Levi tries and fails to keep his eyes forward, earning a smirk from Y/N.

Y/N finds Levi's search history full of questions like "What does it mean when you can't stop thinking about someone?" and "How to get a girl to notice you."

After Y/N falls asleep on his shoulder during movie night, Levi stays frozen in place long after the movie ends just to keep her there.

Levi "coincidentally" shows up at the cafe where Y/N is studying and claims he had no idea she'd be there.

Y/N jokingly asks Levi to help her move some furniture. He shows up in a full suit and tie wanting to make a good impression.

When Y/N has a girls' night out, Levi not-so-casually asks what she's wearing and who all is going.

Levi visibly tenses when Y/N laughs at another guy's joke, crossing his arms and sulking.

When Y/N gets scared during a horror movie, Levi immediately wraps a protective arm around her without thinking.

Y/N teases Levi for meticulously sorting his book collection by color, author, and genre. Levi retorts that at least he has a system unlike SOME people's messy shelves.

When Y/N comes home with a new haircut, Levi awkwardly compliments it, saying it's "suitable" and "appropriate for your face shape".

Levi not-so-accidentally schedules cleaning sessions whenever he knows Y/N will be exercising in tight leggings and a tank top.

Y/N notices Levi fidgeting to fix his already perfectly straight cravat before their weekly tea time together.

After Y/N beats Levi in training, he spends the rest of the day obviously sulking though he denies doing so.

Levi reorganizes the kitchen cabinets to "maximize efficiency" but really it's just an excuse to be around Y/N more.

When another soldier gets too friendly with Y/N, Levi suddenly needs to discuss urgent "military tactics" with her.

Y/N laughs at Levi's claim that he's ordering a new cleaning supply for "sanitary reasons" when it's the exact brand she mentioned liking recently.

Levi stumbles over his words trying to casually return a handkerchief to Y/N he noticed fell from her pocket earlier.

When Y/N comes back from expeditions outside the walls, Levi does a full inspection of her gear asking about every tiny scratch and scuff.

[tinukis]

FINALLY SHOWING OFF MY COLLECTION !!! i finally reorganized a little bit buuut it still feels incomplete... anyway!! it's a mix of one piece and pokemon... ft other things but mostly one piece

FIRST SHELF:

again, mostly pokemon and one piece. i've been collecting pokemon plushies/merch in general since 2018. and to be completely honest with you, i feel like my life didnt start until 2018. i have no recollection of anything at least irl before 2018... i have a bunch of pokemon plushies still that arent even on here or theyre just hiding from sight! (like behind gladion is a steven stone plushie nfmshd) OH AND I HAD MY GLADION AND MIKO PLUSHIE MADE !! i just drew it and then gave the designs to a manufacturer :3 my next goal is to make another two but with their alt outfits this time :D

also on the top shelf, other than the action figures and plushies, are artbooks! for original sun/moon, usum, scarlet/violet, and it's hard to see but artbooks for the great ace attorney/dai gyakuten saiban as well !! also the gladion acrylic standee blends in well with wano zoro jfkdhjd omg do yall think gladion could do a closet cosplay of zoro (miko got him to do it <3)

also im not rlly big on pop funkos, theyre just gifts <3

AND TWO BINDERS OF POKEMON CARDS... i dont play i just collect them bc i like pretty art

SO UM. SECOND SHELF. one shelf dedicated to zolu, asl, and ace and sabo :3 behind the zolu figures are tiny plushies of them and rubber straps but well, its hard to see em </3

i got into one piece since like. early september and now i have an entire display dedicated to one piece 😭 + other things like persona lol

feat my pokemon boxes and unboxed one piece figures. ofc, this isnt Everything i have but it's Mostly everything

the last two things i'll show and the second post wont be posted until i update my stuff more

so heres my poorly made luffy cutout that was literally made with sweat and tears... in fact i startwd this project like a WEEK after starting one piece 😭😭😭 thats how you know i was strapped in for life

and my corkboard!! some cool one piece works and the wano zolu sc :3 it's really cool to have these things hfmhdjd

the ace print, frobin charms, rubber pins, and stickers i just pinned on are stuff i got from a con. everything else from jp mercari !!

tbh, the sealed gladion acrylic standee is like my most prized treasure... not that i dropped hundreds on it but i got it for a lot cheaper compared to the other sealed ones online :'D + his postcards too are one of my most prized possessions... i wonder who my favorite pokemon character is

honestly idk what to fill the empty space in with but i wanna balance out this corkboard with pkmn and OP so maybe i'll try to hunt for more pkmn stuff

this is all i'll share for now but the next post will show my two ita bags that i have :0 !!! and my comically large arcanine plushie that i named ace 😁🫶

[howdy-folks-its-showtime]

It's Showtime! - July 2024 Devlog

Howdy! Cobalt here, and wow, July really went by quick for me. Luckily, I also got a good amount of things done! In fact, I did a lot of things I've been holding off on for a while. Sorry the dev log is late,despite knowing I should, I didn't make notes on what I did this month nor did I start it earlier… Then I had a really bad time with my body (just cramps, dw!) the last few days of the month which made it hard to write. I swear I'll develop better habits for this as it goes on.

when it comes to programming, I've gotten a few minor things going on. I have a cut scene manager script now that keeps track of various things, including which cut scenes have already played but also which cut scenes you've seen between save files and stuff. This way it can make any cut scene you've already seen in any of your playthroughs skippable. I haven't actually gotten the skipping script to work yet nor stuff like triggering the cut scenes, but I'll need more placeholder sort of things to work on that stuff. The inventory also reorganizes itself after you use an item to make sure empty slots are at the bottom and filled ones are on the top. A lot, I mean a lot, of writing has been done this month. On Focuswriter [the program I use for all my writing] I hit the longest writing streak I ever had, 63 days in a row of meeting my daily goal [which is 500 words]! My in-depth/in-game writing doc has 16,783 words right now and my game design document [which contains the story summary] 20,764 words. [It actually shrank a bit because I made the story summary of chapter 1 like an actual summary, instead of being far too in-depth on a lot of parts. But that's still an improvement even if it seems weird on the word counts.] I've done a lot of writing out the story beats I've had in my head for a while but haven’t inserted it into my documents yet. I wanna focus on doing stuff like writing out the ending and more general story beats since I don't really want to go too far into development without way more of the story taken out of my mind and actually written down somewhere. Despite how excited I am to show more to the public. Since we will not be releasing It's Showtime through the chapters, I'm gonna try to make development less chapter focused, I don’t know how we’ll be releasing it, complete or in some other parts… But we’re not really far enough into development to be thinking of that yet. Luckily, I can say confidently I'm delighted with the speed of development so far. It's not much by most standards but for two queers making their first game of this scale while also balancing learning adult stuff, we've done way more than I thought we would so far! In terms of art, there's been both a lot done and not a lot. We've been doing a bit of concept art, getting references done, and speculating on things. But the place where the most progress has been made technically wasn't actually for the project itself… See, this month I think I finally started to really get the hang of blender. I finished a model for a friend of mine of their version of Evan from the Bendy Novels. It's fully rigged and I'm really happy with it. I'm also almost done with two other big models I'm making of someone's Bendy au designs and I'm sure when you guys see them, it'll make you excited for what the models in Showtime will look like. In general, I think I've finally found a workflow I'm happy with, and that allows me to make models both quickly but also to a quality I'm very happy with. I imagine very soon I'll be doing the first true collections of models for Showtime, whether they'll be the ones seen in the final release I don't know. But the practice alone will surely teach me a lot more about Blender.

As for other things… Ink Demonth is happening again and this time, I would love to create something for each prompt. They probably won't be posted daily, or in order, but still, I'd love for me and my partner to make something for each prompt within the month. Specifically related to Encore! and such. It'd be a good way to keep the blog alive and to stir up more attention on It's Showtime! This isn't a promise we will, but I thought I'd mention our hopes for Ink Demonth. Overall, I'd just advise all of you to be on the lookout for things going on with this game. I've got a lot of little plans for it that are almost ready to be put into motion and I'm super excited to show you guys more as things go on. Once again sorry it was late, but I hope this update was exciting! See you guys next month!

[ficjoelispunk]

CH 03 - ARCHIVE ROOM

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Author's Note: Guys, let me know if you like gifs in the middle of the text to illustrate the narrative. 🥹 And, like always, I'm sorry for any grammatical errors, don't give up on me, translating is not easy, but I did my best. Correct me as much as you can. Thanks.

Pablo Escobar was a guy who would never be without allies. He was basically a Hydra, if you cut off one head, two more would be born in place.

And with the smaller cartels, which formed the Medellin cartel, there were no treaties of trust. The gangs did what it took to keep themselves standing and alive.

Peña and Murphy would spend time in Medellin, start the day in La Catedral harvesting evidence. Then they went to the Central Agency, a former police academy that was transformed into a base, which would be heavily used in the hunt by Pablo Escobar.

This would give you a little peace at the embassy, since that way you didn't have contact with them, so often. And you could swear that the two of them were already missing you, since now to go out in operations the requests were made directly to the Colonel.

The biggest enemy of the police in the capture by Pablo was the people themselves. He used the children and the people as a shield and protection, in exchange for money, and small services.

So the president of Colombia offered on the national network, a reward of 1.4 million to those who provided information, worldwide. Anyone would think he was fucked. But Pablo wasn't just anyone. And that only set precedents for him to start a show.

This particularly doubled everyone's work. Since many calls arrived, but without any foundation. And Pablo started working with the media, messing with the head of the Colombian population, putting himself in a place of victim.

The guy was a genius. It was so cunning that it made the population forget all the deaths and blood that was on their hands. And many people ended up feeling sorry and compassion for Pablo.

President George Bush offered appropriate support from the American army. When President Bush says "appropriate support" it is worth remembering that, we were talking about a man who had been head of the CIA.

To begin with, you got a new boss, Ambassador Arthur Crosby. A navy guy specializing in Latin American issues and counterterrorism. And to the joy of Murphy and Peña, they also won a Chief, Messina. What you still had no idea if she made your life even easier or made your life even more hell, due to the bad mood of the duo of agents.

And finally, you had to leave Bogotá and go to Medellin.

When you arrived in Medellin, you were faced with a much more terrifying scenario than you imagined. The more Escobar felt threatened, the worse things got.

As soon as they arrived in Medellin, your new boss called a meeting between all of you. You had the opportunity to meet the new members on the plane on the way to Medellin.

When Peña entered the room, you were already there, next to Crosby. And strangely, you were happy to see him. Known face maybe, the feeling is not known.

But where was Murphy?

Peña took his eyes on you, you felt his eyes on you. But you were focused on keeping your attention in the words of your new boss. It was a gift that you were not relocated along with Noonan, a sign that your work has been observed.

You would follow the DEA's operations, the intelligence team and also the Centra Spike eavesdropping, which should all be sent to your Boss, outside of course, everything else. It was a lot of work

The meeting is over, and you were careful to reorganize the room while everyone leaves. Less Peña.

While you were collecting the folders and papers, you looked at him.

"Miss me?"

He smiled, walking around the room slowly.

"I thought you'd come back with Noonan."

"Disappointed then?"

He smiled again.

"I think I must be doing a good job, after all," you completed.

"With so many new bureaucracies, you will be the highlight."

"Ha ha ha, funny" you made a face at him.

Javier kept looking at you through his eyelashes smiling maliciously.

"Where is Murphy?" You fixed all the folders in your arms, and walked towards the exit of the room. "Is he okay?"

Javier offered help with the folders, but you dodged him. He rolled his eyes.

"He's fine. He's having some problems at home..."

You walked to your new table, which eventually Javier would do this way a lot. You dumped the folders on the table, opening a file behind your table, to start storing them, between one movement and another you looked at Javier who was leaning his hands on the table.

"Is Connie okay?"

"Yes... she went back to Miami"

You took a break. Looking at Javier.

"That's bad." You furrowed the corner of your mouth.

"Agent Peña? Have you a minute?" Messina appeared in the hallway behind you calling Javier.

He turned around, and nodded to her. But before he went, he took another look at you, from top to bottom, so as not to lose the habit.

"Good to see you," he said with a crooked smile. The dimple in the smile was a little appealing in those moments.

You smiled and nodded to him, continuing the automatic movement of saving the files in the archive.

That was weird. There was no provocation. You don't hear a pin. Just a normal conversation. Were Medellin's airs different? What was going on? Maybe it was everyone's nerves the best of the skin.

***

You hated Escobar more every day. After an interview that a newspaper published. The movements began to drive the department crazy.

First of all, the police were everywhere. Blockings searching everything and everyone. On the streets. In the houses. Everywhere.

The whole department moved to the Central Agency, and you being the Ambassador's representative were also there. So basically all the sectors were together and reunited.

This meant that from where you were you could hear Javi's typewriter typing in your head. It meant that you bumped into him in every corridor. It meant that you saw him every day. It meant that you were sleeping in the same place. Because they gave up dorms for you.

It was a big nightmare.

You watched from the box Colonel Pizon put the two DEA agents to the corner, making them work as if they were telephone operators, answering the calls of the tracks behind the millionaire reward.

Javi and Murphy were completely out of their mind.

It was already late, when you went down to the file room, and you were smoking in hiding, so you didn't have to leave the complex just to smoke a cigarette.

You heard the door creaking when someone opened it. And he put out his cigarette as fast as he could.

"Are you smoking in the file room?"

Peña.

"You know it's a room full of papers, right?"

"I'm already leaving"

"Sorry" Peña passed through the corridors looking for you, and when he found you at the bottom near the window he walked more wandering following in his direction in the middle of the paper box corridor, "I didn't want to be a nuisance"

You closed your eyes ignorantly, and sighed.

"Yeah, your presence is very pleasant."

You walked towards the exit, but Javier came in front of you preventing you from passing.

"Excuse me?!" You looked at him with your eyes snapped, faking a surprise.

"What did I do for you?" He spoke in that tone that you hated, because it gave you goosebumps.

You sighed.

"What do you mean?"

Javier approached, shortening the distance from you, with his head tilted running his eyes for you, from head to toe, in a way that made you disconcerted.

"What did I do to make you hate me so much?"

You snorted while letting out a low laugh, and decided to ignore it, taking a step to the side, so that you could access the hallway and leave the room.

Javier mirrors your movement, hitting his hand on the bookshelf next to your head, preventing you from passing through it.

He leans over you, shortening the distance from your faces even more.

"I asked you a question"

His darkened eyes danced in your face.

Your mouth opened, looking for the words, trying to remember how to speak, as he entered the silent dance that Javier's eyes did under you.

It's been a while since you were like this, ready for provocation and exchange of free pins with each other.

"I don't hate you Javier, you don't deserve so much sentimental space inside me. I just can't stand the fact that you are egocentric enough not to respect my work and realize that what I do also saves lives. That without my work, without my arguments in your requirements for licenses and authorizations, you would not get a single unit of reinforcements."

Javier frowned, straightening his posture. You continued.

"You get all the merit, all the euphoria, but who is behind the table doing the operational service, it's me. The tactical only works because I use this little head of mine and deliver a perfect system for you. I think about everything. For you to execute. And I never received a thank you"

He looks to the side, and smiles. Putting the arm back under the shelf.

"So that's it?"

You frowned.

“What?”

"Do you want recognition?" He shrugs his shoulders.

You close your eyes and shake your head.

"Unbelievable" you pass by him, bumping into his shoulder.

But he holds your arm. The hands are so large that your fingers are easily circling the circumference of your arm.

You look at where his hands hold you.

"Let me go"

He pulls you close to him. You are frightened by the abrupt movement and let out an air through your mouth in surprise. You are so close to each other that you feel the heat of his body radiating over yours.

He almost touches his forehead on yours while talking.

"This beautiful little head should know that in this environment no one will congratulate you for doing your job. And that doesn't mean you don't do it very well."

You smile ironically. Maintaining eye contact, not knowing exactly what to say, because all this contact with him, the force with which he holds you pressing his body into yours, makes you feel your core throbbing.

"Funny, I see you being congratulated. For me, this is nothing more than a sexist excuse, so that a woman is not recognized in the proper way. Now excuse me, that I need to keep working so that imbecile men get their decorations"

He shakes his head without letting you go, while the eyes stuck in you are darkened.

"You always have to have the last word"

"Let me go Javier" you pull your arm to yourself "or me..."

Javier smiles when he hears your mouth pronounce his name. He pulls you back to him, holding your face, with your free hand, and pressing a kiss on your lips.

You stay still at first. Your eyes are shatangled, seeing Javier with his lips stuck to yours.

He releases your arm, and uses his hand to hold your back. Your heart is racing. Jumping from the chest.

His hands on your back press your body on him. And from then on, something took over your body.

Surrender.

He was right all along, if you couldn't escape, you would give in to your desires.

Your hands held the lapel of his jacket, gently. He breathed, with his head falling to the other side. And you tilted yours to the opposite side, so that your lips would fit. Your eyes close slowly.

Javi's index finger, gently brushing against your cheek, a soft moan coming out of his throat, with the feeling of your soft lips merging with him.

A kiss like that had nothing to do with the profile described by the other women you've heard of. It was a soft, soft kiss.

He pulled back gently, his mouths opening, his tongue running out to slide into your mouth. His nose brushed against yours as he continued to push a little forward, but then back again - your breaths mixing in the tight space between you.

You were totally delivered. Your arms went up to intertwine in Javi's neck. And his hands went down to his waist. His fingers pressing his flesh. He kissed you stronger, more intense, more in need, you heard his breathing getting heavy.

Your fingers melted over his hair. And he moaned on your lips. In response, your body pressed against his, and it was like waking up a hungry man.

Javier took a step forward, pushing you back, so that your back pressed on the shelf behind you.

His hands on your waist opened full of fingers, slide down the side of your breast. You let out a heavy air from inside you, moaning deep in your throat, while Javier's tongue fought a friendly battle inside your mouth with your tongue for the first time.

You pulled his hair, with the feeling of his fingers caressing the side of your breasts. You arched to him, and Javier lowered one hand to your ass, squeezing you flesh so hard that you could have the marks of his fingers the next day, you both moaned with the feeling.

He slid his hand to the back of your thigh, raising your leg on his side, so that he could position himself in the middle of your legs.

He held your thigh next to his hip. And he pressed his rigidity in your middle. You shuddered. Javier was so hard, it seemed like he could break the fabric of his pants. His greeting was so big and thick, you unconsciously grinded your sore clitoris against him.

Your lips parted, and the two moaned. Your two foreheads glued to each other.

"I think I found a way to make you quiet" his voice was a panting murmur, he kissed your jaw, tracing a path to his earlobe, biting it lightly. You get goosebumps, instinctively tilting your head back.

Your breathing is erratic.

You open your eyes. And it's like regaining consciousness.

"Stop!" You push Javier's shoulders.

You're panting. Taking steps backwards. Fixing your skirt.

He looks at you scared. Open your hands wrapped around your body in surrender. Confused.

You turn around, and walk away so fast, you believe you might be running.

In high heels. For The Academy. With a whole department housed there.

Shit!

[rushingheadlong]

Finally, after a long two years, the Tank Top Collection has been updated again! 🙌

There has been some significant reorganization, particularly with regards to the "90s Blank Tanks - Concert Photos" folder where I've created several new sub-folders for specific performances. Please refer to the "Updates History" word doc for a full breakdown of the changes!

New Photos: 69 (😎) Total Photos: 682 (as of May 31st, 2023)

New to the Collection? Confused about what's going on? Read more below!

What is the Tank Top Collection?

The Tank Top Collection (or just the Collection) is where I've amassed all of the photos of Brian wearing tank tops that I've been able to find. The photos are organized roughly by era and/or event.

As a general rule I save the original photos in the highest quality I can find, with the photographer's watermarks intact where applicable.

What are those documents in the Collection?

Notes - An explanation of the Collection, known photographer credits & sources, and a list of contributors

Graphs - Pie charts showing different breakdowns and comparisons of Brian's tank tops

Videos - A list of links to videos where Brian is wearing tank tops. This document is set-up so anyone can add links!

Update History - A record of all updates and revisions made to the Collection

You're missing a photo/There's a duplicate/etc.

Please drop me an ask to let me know! I'm just one person managing this and due to the size of the Collection there are bound to be mistakes in here that I've missed. If you see anything that needs changing just bring it to my attention and I'll get it fixed ASAP!

When will the Collection be updated again?

Unfortunately, I simply don't know. I still have links and photos to sort through so there WILL be more updates going forward, but I can't give any exact dates.

[writereleaserepeat]

So, I finally dove back into some great writing by @peachy-panic after some chapter updates to their stories Do No Harm and Fifty-Eight Days. I really adore the setting and characters in Fifty-Eight days, and anonamously received the blessing to write some fanfiction, so I did! Spoilers for Fifty-Eight Days below the cut - please go read their work if you haven't already!

There's a nameless woman mentioned in the flashback that starts "Reconvergence," and I thought it would be interesting to see the rescue scene from a different point of view (and perhaps from the point of view of someone who is mostly lucid at the time). It's obviously a fan work, so there are some canon divergences and creative liberties just to make it flow, but I really love the characters and hope I did them a bit of justice.

Spoilers for Fifty-Eight Days by peachy-panic

TW: implied non-con, aftermath of non-con, nudity mention, strong language, kidnapping, blood mention, gore mention, violence mention

---

“You should be prepared for anything,” the Lieutenant Colonel had said. As any dutiful officer would, Eleanor Martin took those words to heart, and prepared as well as one could. Naievely, she thought she had prepared for anything. But that pre-mission briefing felt like a lifetime ago now that she was staring at the gore-soaked aftermath of the compound raid. 

Voss’s men had put up a fight, just as they had expected. The winding halls were lined with bodies of the nameless henchmen, grey brain matter collecting in puddles alongside skull fragments, crimson splattered up against the walls. Ivory paint was pock-marked with countless bullet holes, and the smell of gunpowder lingered alongside the pungent odor of copper. Death permeated every pore of her body. 

It hadn’t been hard to find Voss’s room, an elegant suite tucked away at the heart of the sprawling compound. He had thought himself a king, and the bedroom had clearly been built to reflect this sentiment. 

The only crown Voss wore now was a ring of liquid red. His eyes were already glossed over with the pallor of death, and he was gazing up at the ceiling with a permanent grimace etched in his leathery skin. For a man who had been hunted by authorities for years, a man turned into a monstrous specter that rivaled the devil himself, he seemed so small as he slumped lifeless against the bedroom wall with a bullet hole between his brows. 

But it wasn’t Voss that had seared an image in Eleanor’s mind when she entered the room. It was the two young men, the very ones they had also hoped to find in this place, caught amidst the gunfire and the chaos. Naked, soaked in blood, the whites of their eyes showing like frightened dogs. They hardly resembled the two photos that authorities had received six long weeks ago, but it was unmistakably the two missing missionaries. And amidst the flurry of uniformed men entering the room, it was clear that no one knew what to do with the surviving victims. Perhaps this was because they were never expected to be found alive. 

“Gordon, call the medics in,” Eleanor barked at her colleague. He nodded, shoving his pistol back in its holster before running out of the room. Eleanor tried to ignore the fact the other soldier looked as though he were about to be sick.

Movement caught her eye, and Eleanor turned her attention back to the victims. The boy she recognized as Grayson Dawning scrambled off the bed, his face stained with tears and blood, an expression of hopeless despair frozen in place. Alive. He was alive, unmistakably, honest-to-god alive. 

While finding both victims alive was better than any of the authorities involved had expected, Eleanor could already tell that survival was not a kindness to either of these young men. The near-catatonic one—Elijah—was still facedown on the bed and gagged. Even among the armed men reorganizing themselves to sweep the rest of the compound, his cloth-stifled soft sobs still filled the room with heart-wrenching pain. 

“You- you gotta help him,” Grayson mumbled as he staggered to his feet beside the bed, hands pulling at the cloth gag that was stuffed in Elijah’s mouth. Grayson didn’t seem to care that he was still exposed, burdened by the stench of sweat and sex across every inch of his skin. Eleanor’s stomach turned. 

Be prepared for anything.

“Easy, Mr. Dawning,” she murmured, unsure of what else to say. After all, what could she say? It didn’t take an expert or a medic to understand what they had stormed in on. 

Blood streaked down Elijah’s legs, across his face, all over the sheets of the bed. From the mass of wounds on his back and his thighs, it was hard to tell which injuries were fresh and which were just gnarled scars. But rather than attempt to stymie the bleeding, she took to pulling Grayson away, trying to get a handle on the situation until the medics arrived. 

“I’ll get that,” she promised as she nudged Grayson’s trembling hands away from Elijah’s head. The young man didn’t offer her any resistance as she carefully undid the knot buried within the unruly curls. She couldn’t help but wince as her own fingers shook, but soon the knot loosened, and the crude gag finally came undone. With as much caution as she could muster she eased it out of his mouth. 

“Elijah, please,” Grayson cried softly, his hands touching Elijah’s shoulder, trying to break through the fog that had overcome the younger of the pair. But as Eleanor could clearly see, Elijah’s eyes were unfocused, welling with tears, vacant but for the slightest spark of life. She wondered if he could even hear his companion at all. 

“Well, shit,” Adam muttered as he looked at the two boys on the bed, the medic suddenly having appeared at Eleanor’s side. He dropped the medical bag to the floor and began his usual procedures, pulling the zippers open to reveal his instruments and supplies. There was no mistaking the urgency with which the man had gotten down to business.

“Adam, this is Grayson and Elijah,” she said, gesturing to them each in turn. She wasn’t trained to interact with patients like Adam was, but the least she could do was give them a name to attach to a face. Maybe she hoped it would give them some comfort, ground them amidst the chaos that had just rained down. It just seemed like the right thing to do. 

She wasn’t even sure there was a right thing to do in a situation like this. 

“Hey, Elijah,” Adam said as he settled down by the bedside. “My name’s Adam, and I’m here to help you out.” Elijah didn’t respond, eyes still staring off into empty space, tears leaking freely in streams through the blood and grime. 

“Please, you have to help him,” Grayson said, pleading. “Please, Elijah, I’m so sorry. I’m- it’s going to be okay. I'm sorry.” It was impossible to miss how Grayson’s hand wrapped around Elijah’s, squeezing tight. Whatever they had gone through, they were the only ones that could understand each other now. 

“I’m checking your vitals now,” Adam continued, narrating his actions to Elijah softly beneath Grayson’s panicked chatter. “We’re going to start with your blood pressure and your heart. Eleanor, can you finish untying him?” 

Shit. Eleanor hadn’t even thought to undo the restraints binding the boy’s wrists. She made quick work of those so Adam could slide the blood pressure cuff around Elijah’s recently-released arm. Moments later the rest of the medical team arrived, two gurneys and more medical supplies in tow. 

“Yeah, we’ve got to load them up and get them out of here as soon as we can,” Adam said as he stood up to look at Eleanor, face taut with a newfound urgency. Whatever numbers the paramedic had pulled from his devices, they hadn't been good. “Our team will take Elijah here, and Joe’s team can take Grayson. We’ll take them both to the predetermined hospital, but it’s up to your folks to get the American authorities down there.” 

“Fuck, right, I’ll let the Lieutenant Colonel know,” Eleanor answered, reaching for her walkie-talkie on her belt. The fact that these boys were alive was going to spare something of an international incident. She was supposed to let the Lieutenant Colonel know as soon as there was any definitive contact with the boys, dead or alive. Somehow, that had slipped her mind upon seeing their condition, that scene she had walked in on. If word of what truly happened got to the press, she wasn’t sure it would be much better than if they had been found dead. 

After she made the call to her boss—yes, they were alive, and they were about to get brought out to the awaiting ambulances—she helped pull Grayson away from Elijah. This gave the other paramedics enough time to get to work on Grayson, running a rapid assessment of his vitals and responsiveness. As soon as he had lost contact with Elijah’s skin, Grayson seemed to disappear in much the same dissociative state. 

This older one of the pair, supposedly a group leader that had pursued Elijah after he went missing, was barely more lucid than his catatonic companion. And as Elijah was rolled out of the room on a stretcher, bodies cleared out of the way as they went, Grayson seemed lost in a fog. Eleanor kept her grip on his upper arm as he looked around like a lost child. 

“Where is he?” Grayson asked, panic renewed as he came back to himself, if only just. “Where did you take him?” He pulled himself from Eleanor’s grasp and stumbled towards the hallway, past the broken door, feet passing over the puddles of blood without hesitation. 

“Where is Elijah?” He called out into the nothingness as Eleanor and the other paramedics followed after him, prepared to intercept and bring him to a gurney of his own. 

“Mr. Dawning,” a shorter paramedic pleaded, “You need to sit down and let the medics look at you. We need to get you to the hospital.” 

It was obvious by the full-body tremors that Grayson wasn’t particularly amiable to that suggestion. Eleanor, not versed in the art of comforting, and without a maternal instinct in her body, again attempted to soothe. 

“It’s over now,” she said as she prepared to guide Grayson out of the winding compound. “It’s over, you’re safe.” He seemed to flinch when she reached for his shoulder again, so she drew her hand back. It would have to be enough to walk by his side. So she did, walking close by his shoulders, the paramedics rolling the gurney and their supplies a few paces behind. But she may as well have not even been there as they navigated the winding halls, Grayson still calling out Elijah’s name, eyes darting to every face they passed. 

Once they were outside in the driveway, washed in the bright white of industrial grade lights and the flashing of emergency vehicles preparing to depart, Grayson seemed to snap back into focus. Of course; it seemed that Elijah was about to be loaded into one of the waiting ambulances, his body atop a stretcher and draped in blankets. 

“Elijah!” Grayson cried out, voice cutting above the fray of uniformed officials trying to make some sense of the carnage that was unraveling inside the compound. From the chatter on Eleanor’s radio, it seemed that these wayward missionaries were not the only victims to be found in the recesses of Voss’s personal playground. More ambulances - and coroners - would likely be on their way in a matter of minutes. 

Grayson nearly tumbled to the ground as his foot caught on the edge of the gurney, but somehow the emaciated boy caught himself and continued to propel forwards towards Elijah. That spark of desperation pulled again at Eleanor’s heartstrings. She watched the paramedics try to ward Grayson off, refuse his entry into the ambulance, their faces stern. Even Adam seemed prepared to put his foot down and protect the patient in his stead.

For a moment, Eleanor was lost. She likely would never see these boys again, not in person. Perhaps on the news or in her nightmares. But even if she would never see them again, she would remember these moments for the rest of her life. Perhaps they would too. What kindness could she afford them now? 

“Let him,” she said, walking a few paces towards the waiting ambulance. “Let them go together.” 

One of the paramedics looked like he was prepared to argue, but Eleanor knew that her rank was visible on her chest patch. A short tilt of her chin and squint of her eyes was all it took to make them fold. 

As soon as wordless permission was granted, Grayson grabbed onto Elijah’s hand, both of their knuckles white. Fear still danced around them, but in the last few moments that Eleanor saw them before the doors closed, she knew she had made the right decision. Whatever awaited those boys in the future, and whenever they had to reckon with what she had glimpsed upon breaching that door, that would be saved for another day. For now, for these few short minutes before they were subjected to a thousand questions and countless doctors prodding at them, they would have each other. Maybe that would be enough.

[pikespendragon67]

Pikes Summer Check-Up 2024 Edition

Started to go “hm I still have to unlearn the don’t speak unless spoken to mindset that I have” but remembered I could do a checkup post instead!

Current life updates:

Right now I’m saving up for conventions happening this August, though plushie collecting & Steam summer sales miiiight have interfered. Whoops. (…and I wonder if I should get back to my FE Cipher card collection). My next big-ish trip is visiting my middle school best friend with another high school friend. I’m also hoping for my next big trip this year to be Boston in late September to meet with a friend. After that, it should be a trip with my middle school best friend to a farm, something Halloween related with IRL friends depending on what they want to do, no clue for November, and seeing relatives for New Year’s.

Gonna see if I can reorganize my closet since everything in my room got reassembled when we got new flooring. Feels cluttered as a result. Hopefully my back won’t kill me.

Might have jury duty next week too OTL

What I’m watching:

Current schedule for watching anime is as follows:

Mondays - Digimon rewatch along with Spice & Wolf 2024. I really like Lawrence and Holo’s banter. For Digimon I just got to where Mimi obtains her Crest. Man adult me really just became Joe, huh.

Tuesdays are filler at the moment since I need to wait for Pokemon Horizons to update on Nettingtonflix (I watch the dub) and I finished Kakuriyo. Part 2 of Kakuriyo was…eh, I guess? I noticed stiff animation a lot and I didn’t really get the sense of drama/urgency that I was expecting. Might throw in some more Digimon episodes until Horizons updates. (I’m liking it so far, though it’s not something I’d shout to the heavens about)

Wednesdays - Baccano finally. I might need to rewatch some parts because they retell events from different perspectives, but I see repeats and get confused if I already watched the episode or not because of that.

Thursdays - Moribito. I’ve heard this show was good, though I think I need to rewatch this one as well since I miss important info when something dramatic’s not happening. The curse of having a show as background noise during your lunch break at work.

Fridays - Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure rewatch. Friends were talking about watching it so it got me interested in rewatching once more. I’m still on Phantom Blood but I’m excited for the rewatch until I hit Stardust Crusaders. Unfortunately it’s not my favorite part and it’s the longest.

Saturdays - My Hero Academia and Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin. I’m gonna see if I end up liking Sakuna more as an anime or as a game. As for Hero Academia, I’m really liking how this current season’s hyping up the finale. And with the manga ending next month, I kind of hope Vigilantes can be animated

Sundays - Tower of God season 2 and My Deer Friend Nokotan. Nokotan kind of reminds me of Lucky Star, but I’m hoping the shitposts aren’t just making fun Koshitan. Tower of God season 2 looks pretty promising. Though I lament that God of High School had to rush everything into 1 season.

I’m getting hyped for TYBW part 3 subconsciously and also hope the light novels get covered.

In terms of stuff on Youtube, it’s mostly let’s plays for games that I want to see if I want to play them myself. I appreciate that SMT 5 Vengeance fleshed out certain characters more, but damn. I also finished watching the ProZD Plays Ace Attorney 2. Franziska is wonderful, I wish she was in a different game. I liked case 2 the most in spite of Hotti’s mere existence.

What I’m Playing:

Stopped TTYD in the middle of chapter 6 since I didn’t want to deal with the turning platform section. So now it’s back to 428 Shibuya Scramble. I’m in the 3 PM section of the game now and things are getting spicy. So far my rankings of the routes are Tama > Minorikawa > Osawa/Achi > Kano.

I also have quite a few fighting games in my Steam library now! I still only button mash, but I’ve been playing with some folks in the Granblue community and my friend Merlin. My “don’t speak unless spoken to” mindset unfortunately kicks in when it comes to inviting people to play games, though. Like granted people are busy and I don’t want to bother them but aaaaaaa (so if you wanna play with me on Steam I’m free most weekends. Though my wrist may fatigue itself too. F)

I’m also contemplating if I want to have various small fics in a collection or add alternate endings in my main Bleach fic

AND NOW, I end asking how ny’all are you doing. Any cool things on your end?

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi Sophie, my headmate wants to know herself better, I mean how she came to life, what the process behind this is, how it's possible and,you know, why the brain made it possible for it to happen. If you have any recources we'll be really happy to see it, bye!

Do you mean like, herself specifically, or the brain as a whole?

I'm not sure what the best way is to recover information about your own creation.

But personally, I was in a similar boat when I was first create, and I had a curiosity about why the brain did what it did, and how this was possible. I read a lot about psychology. r/tulpas had plenty of sources for papers about tulpamancy. I then followed the citations from there to find other papers that were related.

And I didn't stop just at what we typically gets put under the plural umbrella, but also delved further into self-consciousness of hallucinatory agents in psychotic disorders, into reports of people communing with gods and spirits, and other similar phenomena.

All of which led me to developing this theory a couple years ago:

I've been meaning to update this for a while because since then, I've found a lot more sources that I think support my theory even better. But that's what I came up with after my research back then.

If she wants to research plurality herself, I have a collection of papers relating to plurality on this page:

In my opinion, the research showing the agency of "imaginary friends" has always been the most interesting. To me, it suggests plurality is something natural to humans in childhood, and that singlethood may in fact be somewhat sociogenic.

Also, for a more individual understanding of where headmates come from, you may also be interested in Foundations post, where I break down three categories of psychological headmates I've observed based on their pre-existing autobiographical memories at the time they're created.

Hope these can help. I wish her luck on her road to self-discovery! 💖

[carnivorousyandeere]

Student Council Intros

Short descriptions of their positions, personalities, interests, and relations to one another. I will elaborate more on their specific yandere tendencies in another post soon~! requests about them are also okay <3

President: Hailey (she/her)

Eldest of the triplets

Undergraduate

Double Major in Math and Business

Queen bee, popular, pretty, ambitious, ruthless. Dedicated follower of the clean-girl aesthetic; bloodless, antiseptic, minimal, devoid of any evidence of actually living. Competitive, cutthroat.

Totally having the time of her life in college and her sorority!! (Maybe…?)

Probably destined to climb a corporate ladder somewhere.

Short; light green eyes; shoulder-length blonde hair (dyed)

Likes: being heard, being in charge. Being the center of attention, admiration, and jealousy. Tennis, running, smoothies, scrunchies, being just mean enough to watch people squirm but not mean enough to get called out on it

Dislikes: being challenged (well… depends on context), being away from her sisters (literal sisters not the sorority sisters), anything super messy or woodsy/outdoorsy

Vice President: Kaylee (she/they)

Youngest of the triplets

Undergraduate

Law Major

Minor in Latin

Devil’s advocate, casual, incisive, irreverent, witty. Competitive, though not as much as Hailey. Argumentative, blunt, analytical, but also committed to the bit.

Kinda hates college but wasn’t sure what else to do after high school.

Short; light green eyes; dark brown hair in a pixie cut (not dyed)

Likes: debating, arguing, true crime, reading the wackiest court transcripts she can get her hands on, chess, drama and theatre

Dislikes: math, science, being compared to her sisters, the law enforcement system and most of the judicial system too tbh (corrupt from the start and ineffective)

Advisor: Emerson (they/them)

Kendra’s older sibling

Graduate student and T.A.

Studying architecture

Typically calm, easy-going, and thoughtful, although busy places can overwhelm them. Generally asocial, but kind, and cares deeply about the people close to them. Punctual, organized, artistic.

Heavily burnt-out from school, but their deep love of architecture as a subject keeps them going.

Tall; dark brown/black eyes; hair in thick, long, jet-black dreads.

Likes: sketching, watercolor, prismacolor markers, learning about architecture, reorganizing their collection of markers

Dislikes: being a T.A., loud environments, most strong smells, bright lights, inconsiderate and closed-minded people

Treasurer: Rayleigh (she/her)

Middle triplet

Kendra and Jace’s friend

Undergraduate

Double-Major in Biology and Geology

The rare shy extrovert (?). Talks your ear off when you get to know her. Passionate and excitable, tends to be literal-minded. Comes across as very anxious and high-tension if you don’t know her well.

Wasn’t too sure about college at first, but she’s really starting to open up some and enjoy herself more.

Short; light green eyes; long light brown hair with highlights and stuff (dyed), but also her dark brown roots showing

Likes: her friends! :D, archaeology, fossils and “living fossils,” SHARKS, anything outdoorsy, anime, documentaries

Dislikes: being the center of attention, alternately having to compete with her sisters for scraps of attention, debating, writing papers for humanities classes 😣

Secretary: Kendra (she/her)

Emerson’s younger sister

Rayleigh and Jace’s friend

Fashion Design Major

Another shy extrovert? Emotional, excitable, creative, always up to try something new, once you get to know her. Otherwise comes across as very quiet, deep-in-thought, serious, or maybe a little spacey?

Loves college overall even though the professors in her major can be real assholes.

Short; dark brown/black eyes; keeps her jet-black natural hair in an afro sometimes, and pulls it back and up into a puff a lot too. Has a collection of pretty, colorful hair bands for this reason.

Likes: anime, cosplay, writing, daydreaming, blue jean material as a medium for her art, heels (not comfortable but she wants to feel taller 😭)

Dislikes: anything super outdoorsy, math classes (“I already know all the math I need for my patterns! 😫”), a lot of the required classes tbh (“Booooring.”)

Honorary Member: Jace (he/they)

Rayleigh and Kendra’s friend

Undergraduate Researcher

Biology Major

Shy, reticent, cautious. Just wants to keep his head down, but their friends keep dragging them into stuff like the student council… for better or worse. Analytical, meticulous, curious.

Hates college, but is determined to graduate anyway.

Short; dark brown/black eyes; short, black, shoulder-length hair.

Likes: camping, hiking, rowing, campfire food, stargazing, ALGAE (their research topic)

Dislikes: most people, his voice (started T somewhat recently and is embarrassed by the voice cracks 🥺💕)