#winter soldier x original character

[tuiccim]

A Scarred Enigma (Part 7)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC Lexa Green

Word Count: 1.7k

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of scars. Depression, anxiety, fear of touch, panic attack.

Summary: Fellow Avenger Lexa Green is an enigma that intrigues Bucky to no end, but a painful past has left her scarred, both physically and mentally. Will she be able to overcome her past to find love in the future?

Divider by @firefly-graphics​/ Not beta read.​

A Scarred Enigma Masterlist

Lex couldn’t face Bucky, so she took the coward’s way out. She texted him. 

Lex: Hey. 

Bucky: Hey. What ya wanna do today?

Lex: Just have a quiet day. I’m tired.

Lex: I need some space right now. 

Bucky: Of course. Let me know if you need anything. 

Two days after,

Bucky: Just checking in. I’m here. Whatever you need. 

A week after,

Bucky: You up for our movie night tonight?

Ten days after, 

Bucky: I know you asked for space but I want you to know I’m here for you. Just let me know when you’re ready. 

And, feeling absolutely wretched, she never answered and he got the hint. He stopped messaging. She had asked him for space and he had given it to her. He watched and waited for her to make a move toward him, but she hadn’t. She treated him kindly, spoke to him, and worked with him, but she was never alone with him. There were no more movie nights or long one-on-one conversations or inside jokes. She shied away from him whenever he got too close or they found themselves alone by chance. 

A month later, Bucky watched Lex across the table as she had a low conversation with Clint and Natasha. He was listening in. He knew it was wrong but he was desperate. 

“I need a dress for Tony’s party. Preferably one that isn’t skin tight,” Lex says with a look at Natasha. 

“Why don’t you come with me to pick it out? That way you can have more input. Otherwise, you just have to go with what I pick as usual,” Natasha smirks. 

“I… fine. I’ll go with you,” Lex shrugs.

“Great. It’ll be fun.”

“Can I come, too?” Clint bobs his eyebrows. 

“No,” Nat and Lex say in unison. 

--

The outing was surprisingly refreshing to Lex. She found a dress she was more comfortable in. It was long-sleeved with a flared skirt. Lex thought it was reminiscent of the 40s. She wondered if Bucky would like it, but then shook the thought away. She had successfully kept Bucky at arm’s length but the truth was she missed him. His sweetness and gentleness and just knowing he was there for her without demand. She had wondered many times if she had made a mistake pushing him away but then the fear would take hold of her again and the”what if”’s racked her mind. 

She felt intensely guilty each time that Bucky looked at her. If she had been really brave she would have told him to leave her alone. She would have hurt him so he could move on. Not wait for her, but instead she selfishly kept him at arm’s length. Close enough to touch but never to reach her. Maybe she should just leave. The very thought filled her with dread. The pit of her stomach tightened and tears threatened. She couldn’t leave this family, her family. She had to find a way through this. But how?

The night of Tony’s party, she looked stunning. No one would ever guess that under all of it was a scarred mess who shrunk away when someone tried to hold her hand. 

“You look great, Lexy,” Nat smiles at her as they enter the common room.

“Thanks. So do you,” she replies shyly. 

“I love your dress, Lex,” Wanda says. 

“Th-thank you. You look beautiful.”

“Thanks. This will be fun,” Wanda reassures. 

Lex nods nervously, “Yeah. Of course.”

“Hey, we’re here for you if you need us. All of us. Me, Wanda, Clint… Bucky. All of us,”  Nat says. 

“Nat,” Lex’s voice breaks.

“What happened?” Nat asks softly. 

“Nothing!” Lex whispers harshly and walks away. 

“Lex!” Nat calls after her but she doesn’t stop. Her heart was breaking again and she couldn’t do it. She shook as she pressed the elevator button. The tears spilled over as she rode it and then the doors opened revealing Bucky. 

“Lex! What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

“I can’t! I can’t-,” she runs for her room but Bucky follows. 

“Lex! Lex, please talk to me. Please! I’m here for you. Whatever you need. I’m here.”

“But you shouldn’t be!”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know if I can ever give you what you want! I don’t know if I can ever handle being touched. You deserve to be with someone who can be. I’m just holding you back from having a life. And I can’t! I can’t do it anymore. You deserve so much better!” Lex runs through her door and try to slam it behind her.

Bucky catches it and closes it softly, “Lex, I don’t care if you can never handle touch or if you become the most touch-feely person on the planet. You’re my best friend! I’m going to stick by you no matter what. I will always be here for you.”

“But you won’t be! Not if you see!” She cries.

“I don’t care about your scars!” Bucky says emphatically. “Nothing physical or mental or in your past matters to me. I only care about you! Who you are!” He rips off his jacket and shirt. “Do you see my scars? Do you see this damn metal arm? Do you know what I did for seventy years?”

Lex stares at Bucky absolutely stunned. 

“Do you think less of me now that you’ve seen? Are you disgusted by me now? Do you hate me? Do you never want to speak to me again?”

Lex stares at him, lips trembling, eyes wide, until she turns her back to him. Bucky’s heart burns, thinking she was closing herself off, but then her hands went to the zipper or her dress and he realized her intentions. 

“Lex, you don’t have to!”

“I want to,” she whispers as she unzips the dress and pulls it from her arms. Bucky’s heart broke for her as he stared at the expanse of scars that riddled her back. The cruelty that she had endured was more than he ever imagined. Before he realized what he was doing, his flesh hand made contact with her back and she gasped but didn’t move away. 

“I’m so sorry that this happened to you but you’re still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Bucky says. 

Lex slips her arms back into her dress as she turns to face Bucky, “I… I am?”

“Yeah, doll,” 

Lex stares into Bucky’s eyes for a moment and then she takes the leap. She puts her arms around Bucky’s neck and hugs him. Bucky smiles with tears in his eyes as he gingerly wraps his arms around her. 

“I missed you,” he whispers.

“I missed you, too,” Lex whispers back as she slowly pulls away from him. 

“Why don’t we skip the party and have movie night?” Bucky grins.

“Won’t Tony be mad?” 

“He’ll never miss us.”

“I’ll make the popcorn,” Lex smiles. 

--

The next day after training Lex gets out of the shower and looks at herself in the mirror for a long moment. She knows her face is passable, but turning around to see her scars she feels a tightness constrict her chest. A mess of scars. Sometimes that's all she feels like she is. And she was sick of it. Lex made a determination right then. She was more than her scars. She wouldn’t let them hold her back anymore. Bucky had seen them and still called her beautiful. It was time to show her team and this way she would claim her team as her family, as her own. Scars be damned.

Having made the decision, Lex gingerly slips on a sports bra, leggings, and a hoodie and heads to the common room for dinner. The entire team except Tony is gathered and dinner carries on without fanfare. As soon as everyone is finished Lex asks, “Can we all go to the common room? I need to talk to everyone.”

“You’re not leaving, are you?” Wanda asks. 

“No. The opposite, hopefully.” Lex smiles. Everyone exchanges glances at Lex’s enigmatic response as they take seats in the common room. Lex smiles at Nat and Clint as they pass by her.

Bucky pauses beside her to whisper, “Are you okay? Did I push you too hard?”

“I’m fine. And, no, you pushed me just enough. Everything’s okay.” She whispers back. 

Once everyone is seated Lex sits in a chair opposite them and begins, “I wanted to apologize to everyone. I, um, I know I’m not an easy person to get to know and that’s my fault. I don’t trust people or their motives easily, but I want, I need you all to know that I trust you. I trust you all with my life. So, I want you to know my story.” She tells them about her childhood, her father, her family, her scars, and, when she’s done, Lex stands and turns her back to everyone. She pulls the hoodie off and closes her eyes as she reveals her scars to them. The silence is deafening for a moment and then, 

“This is awesome! I love scar stories. Check this one out!” Clint bends over and shows his right ass cheek that has a long stripe on it. “So, this one time in Budapest, Nat and I had just gotten through this insane gun fight and then I sat on one of my arrows! Nat had to stitch me up. How many stitches was it?”

“17! Now put your ass away, Clint!” Nat yells as everyone, including Lex, cracks up.

“That’s nothing. Check this bad boy out,” Sam shows a long stripe up the left side of his torso. 

“What is this?” Tony yells as he enters. “Everyone put your clothes back on! No strip games when I’m not here!”

“Hey Tony. Where’ve you been? And who’s that?” Steve asks as a tall blond man steps forward. 

Tony smirks as he motions to the man beside him, “Picking up our new friend to help us on a mission. This is the U.S. Agent, John Walker.”

Part 8

Tuiccim’s Masterlist

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[buckyssoldat]

Chapter 47: Free

Warnings: strong language, violence, mentions of death and blood

A/N: This is part of my series, Forsaken - The Fallen Soldier. If you wanna be tagged in this, just send me an ask or a message. Feedback is always appreciated, don’t be shy to share your thoughts on this :)

It comes in waves, I close my eyes

Hold my breath and let it bury me

Bucky’s voice was gentle as he reached out to Alice. “We have a long ride ahead of us. I think now is a good time for a talk.” Alice huffed. She didn’t want to talk about anything she had done in the past, or Doctor Semenov, or her father being Red Skull. Those awful memories were stored away in her brain, hidden, so she couldn’t remember them.

“Alice…” he began softly, putting his hand on top of hers. “I’ll start then. I’m sorry for what I said in the Quinjet. It was unfair, and I regret it deeply. I never meant to hurt you, and I’m really sorry.”

Alice remained silent, her gaze fixed on the expanse of sky stretching out before them. The memories she tried to bury stirred uncomfortably within her, but she refused to let them surface.

“I know you are,” she finally responded, her tone guarded. “And you definitely shouldn’t have said that.”

Bucky pressed on, his words weighted with remorse. “And about… about what happened in 99, I-”

Alice cut him off, turning to face him fully. “Buck, I’ve moved past that,” she interjected firmly. “I know it wasn’t your fault. I know you didn’t have control of what you were doing. I know all of that, because I also did bad things when I wasn’t the one in control. You don’t have to apologize to me for that. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

Steve sat quietly, silently listening to the intimate conversation between his friends. He wrestled with the urge to intervene, to offer comfort or support, but he remained silent, respecting their privacy. T’Challa was quiet, busy piloting the ship, so everything was silent, except for the two of them. Noticing that Steve was listening, Alice took off her seatbelt and got up. Then, she did the same to Bucky. His cheeks turned red the second she put her hands near his crotch to undo the belt. He knew it didn’t mean the same thing for her, but he couldn’t stop his feelings for her, feelings that he didn’t yet conform himself. Steve watched as Bucky’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment at her touch, his own emotions swirling beneath the surface.

“You wanna know what I did when I left you in France, right?” Alie asked once they were in the back of the ship. “I went to Russia and killed Semenov.”

“I already knew that,” he observed her with an apprehensive look on his face, worried about what was coming next in her story.

“And before I killed him…” she took a deep breath to prepare herself. “He told me who were my parents.”

“That’s… that’s great!” he exclaimed, his voice tinged with genuine happiness. “You could go meet them!”

But Alice’s response was filled with sadness as she lowered her gaze. “Not really,” she confessed quietly. “They’re both dead. My mother was a spy from the Red Room. Her name was Olga Petrov and she died of cancer when I was fourteen.”

Bucky’s hand hovered over Alice’s shoulder, a silent gesture of support. “I’m really sorry, Alice,” he said softly, his voice filled with genuine empathy.

“Yeah, but that’s not the worst part yet. My father’s name is… Johann Schmidt. Also known as… Red Skull.”

The male soldier gasped when she dropped that information on him. The man who made Steve go into the ice all those decades ago was her father. But then something clicked on his head, “Wait, how is he your father if you were born in 84?”

“Hydra had his DNA stored,” Alice explained. “Please, don’t tell Steve. I wanna be the one who tells him, okay? He should hear it from me.”

Bucky nodded, understanding the weight of her request. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him.”

With that, Alice brought their conversation to a close. “Now that’s enough of therapy for the day, I’ll tell you the rest another day.”

“Alice…”

“Buck, I need a break,” she continued, a note of irritation creeping into her voice. “I’ve been through some shit, but you have too. I’m not the only one who needs a therapy session.”

Bucky opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. She was right – his own demons were as demanding of attention as hers.

Returning to their seats, they settled into a heavy silence, Steve’s gaze lingering on them briefly turning around again. The remainder of the journey passed quietly, each lost in their own thoughts.Parte superior do formulário

As they arrived in Wakanda, T’Challa’s staff guided them to the bathrooms, providing them with the opportunity to freshen up and change into clean clothes. Thankfully, their injuries were mostly superficial, except for Bucky, whose metal arm had been ripped out. Despite his hatred for what the metal arm represented, its absence left him feeling strangely vulnerable.

Gathered in one of the labs, Alice and Bucky prepared to undergo cryo sleep, a decision they had made together in the interest of ensuring the safety of those around them. As preparations were made, Alice made a request to Steve.

“Steve,” she called out, “make sure to tell Nat to visit me here. I miss her and I need someone to confide my deep and darkest secrets.”

“You have us,” Bucky interjected.

“Nope,” Alice shook her head, “I need my girl Nat. Sorry boys.”

“What are those?” Bucky pointed at Alice’s tattoos. “You didn’t have them before.” His inquiry about Alice’s tattoos drew Steve’s attention, prompting a curious glance at the ink adorning her skin.

“I got them when I was in Tokyo.” Her casual response only added to the intrigue, leaving Steve momentarily speechless.

“You were in Tokyo?” Steve’s disbelief was palpable, his mind already racing with questions.

But Alice sidestepped his inquiry with a playful chuckle. “That’s a story for another time, Cap,” she teased, her enigmatic smile leaving Steve with more questions than answers.

“Are you two sure you wanna do this?” Steve voice his concerns once again, his reluctance to say goodbye to his friends evident. “We can find another way without having you two put to sleep.”

“Our minds can’t be trusted,” Bucky explained gently, his gaze meeting Steve’s. “So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of our heads… Going back under is the best thing.”

Alice echoed his sentiment, injecting a touch of humour to lighten the mood. “For everybody. You don’t want me to become a mercenary again, right?”

“You were a mercenary?” Bucky and Steve spoke at the same time.

“Another time, boys, another time,” she chuckled as she patted both men on the back.

As Alice and Bucky entered the cryo capsules, Steve watched with a heavy hear, the realization sinking in that he was once again saying goodbye to his two closest friends.

“It’s okay,” Alice murmured at Steve before the chemicals started entering her body.

As the icy mist enveloped Alice and Bucky, obscuring their faces from view, Steve couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. With a deep breath, he turned away from the scene, his heart heavy with the weight of their departure. Saying goodbye to his two best friends was never easy, but he took comfort in the hope that they would soon awaken to a world free from the shadows of their past.

After more than four months in cryogenic sleep, Shuri and her team finally found a way to remove the Hydra control triggers from Alice and Bucky’s brains, but also how to restore their forgotten memories of their past lives. Though the memories would return gradually, it was a significant step forward.

When Bucky awoke from his cryo sleep, he found Alice eagerly waiting for him outside his capsule, her excitement palpable. She enveloped him in a tight hug, her enthusiasm contagious despite his lingering chill from the cryo sleep.

“They figured it out, Buck!” Alice exclaimed, her arms wrapped around his torso. “Fuck, you’re really cold.”

Bucky chuckled, resting his head on her shoulder. “Yeah, that’s what being inside an ice box makes to you. Are you sure this is gonna work?” Bucky asked as soon as he saw Shuri enter the room.

“I am,” Shuri attempted to reassure him, though she could sense his lingering doubts reflected in his eyes. “After the procedure tomorrow, we are going to see if it worked or not, but don’t worry Sargent Barnes and Agent Onyx, it is going to work.”

Despite Alice’s calm demeanour, Bucky remained uncertain. Shuri noticed his unease but pressed on with confidence. “Come on, I will show you the way to the huts you will be staying in.”

The trio ventured outside the laboratories, the Wakandan landscape unfolding before them. After a brief walk, they reached the huts surrounded by grass and trees. The tranquillity of the scene was momentarily interrupted by the playful chatter of children, who paused their games to look at Bucky and Alice.

“Look, it’s the White Wolf and Onyx!” one of the children exclaimed.

Shuri chuckled at the children’s excitement. “Kids have been calling you White Wolf, Sargeant Barnes. I hope you don’t mind.” Her words were met with smiles from the two soldiers.

“These are yours,” Shuri gestured towards two huts positioned near each other. “I’ll come back tomorrow morning to take you to your procedures. Until then, rest.”

“Goodnight, Buck,” Alice said as she headed to her hut. Bucky reciprocated the sentiment before retreating to his own, his mind swirling with anticipation for the events that lay ahead.

In the dead of night, Alice jolted awake, her body drenched in sweat from a terrifying nightmare. Images of her teaming up with her deceased father haunted her, a chilling scenario where she found herself killing everyone at sight, including Bucky. Grateful that her screams had remained confined to her hut, she slipped out of bed, determined to find comfort. With careful steps, she made her way to Bucky’s hut. Peeking inside, she saw him sleeping peacefully. Deciding not to disturb his slumber, she quietly lay down next to him.

“Alice?” His voice, barely above a whisper, sliced through the silence.

“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep. Must be nerves,” she confessed softly, shifting to face him. “Is it okay if I sleep here? Only for tonight, I swear.”

Bucky stared at her for a few seconds before finally answering, “It’s okay. Don’t worry.”

With a grateful nod, Alice settled beside him, finding comfort in his presence as she sought refuge from the lingering shadows of her nightmares.

Alice woke to the curious gazes of three young children, their eyes wide with innocent wonder as they observed her and Bucky.  As soon as they realized she was awake, they ran outside, their laughter behind them like a melody. Glancing down, Alice couldn’t suppress a soft smile as she noticed Bucky’s arm draped around her waist, his head nestled against her neck.

“Buck,” she called out, trying to wake him up, though the children’s giggles had already done the job. “Let’s go, I hear Shuri outside.”

Bucky’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he realized their close proximity, quickly disentangling himself from Alice. Unsure of her feelings, he assumed she saw nothing significant in their morning embrace. Rising from the bed, they made their way outside, where Shuri awaited them with a bright smile.

“Good morning, Agent Onyx and Sargent Barnes,” she greeted cheerfully.

“Mornin’,” they replied in unison, their voices still laced with sleep.

“Come,” Shuri motioned for them to follow her as she started walking. “It’s time.”

It was already night when Alice woke up, her head throbbing with pain as if she’d been struck hard.

“Buck?” she whispered, seeking solace in his presence.

“Here,” he replied softly from his bed beside hers. “Is your head also killing you?”

“Yup,” she affirmed, feeling relieved that she wasn’t alone in her discomfort.

“Oh, you are both awake!” Shuri announced as she entered their room, holding their charts. “If it’s okay with both of you, Ayo, one of the Dora Milaje, will take you. She is going to make sure if the procedure worked or not, but don’t worry, I know it worked.” She gestured towards the chairs in front of their beds, each with a pile of clothing. “Get dressed. She will be here soon and trust me, she’s not a person who likes to wait.”

Alice grabbed her clothes and went to the bathroom, leaving Bucky to change in the room. Once they were both ready, they got out of the labs, only to find Ayo, a formidable figure in battle gear, waiting for them with a spear in hand.

“Follow me,” Ayo commanded, setting off without further ado.

In silence, Alice and Bucky trailed after her. After a ten-minute walk, they reached their destination: a clearing with logs arranged around a crackling bonfire. Following Ayo’s instructions, they seated themselves sided by side on one of the logs, awaiting whatever revelation the night would bring.

Alice looked around the dark forest that was surrounding them. Even though it was night, she noticed the Dora Milaje hiding, scattered around the trees. Their silent vigil spoke volumes; Alice understood their mission – standing sentinel in case the procedure didn’t work, ready to stop the two enhanced soldiers. Alice didn’t mind it, she even thanked mentally for that. She was tired of hurting people.

“You sure about this?” Bucky’s voice broke the heavy silence, punctuating the night air.

Ayo took a step closer to them. “I won’t let you hurt anyone.”

Alice reached out, intertwining her fingers with Bucky’s, looking for comfort.

“Желание,” Ayo began, her words weaving through the night air in a haunting recitation, “Ржавый.” With each step, her grip tightened on her spear. “Семнадцать.”

Alice kept her eyes shut, a futile attempt to shield herself from the memories threatening to engulf her. The psychological pain surged through her, a searing agony that made her body burn, as if someone was stabbing her repeatedly.

“It’s not gonna work,” Bucky’s voice trembled, his own battle with the memories evident in his strained toned. Alice’s eyes snapped open at the sound of his voice, meeting his gaze filled with unshed tears. As soon as she saw his state, it was game over for her. Tears started tracing silent paths down her cheeks as she clung to his hand, offering what little strength she could gather.

“Рассвет,” Ayo continued, her voice unwavering, “Печь.”

Bucky’s gaze remained fixed on the crackling flames. Alice couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. She was holding his hand so tight that if he didn’t have the serum running through his body, it would have been broken by now.

“Девять,” Ayo’s steady voiced pierced through the night, each word a catalyst for memories to flood Alice’s mind. Among them, a particularly painful recollection surfaced: the moment Doctor Semenov had found her, coaxing her to kill Bucky. It was a regret that gnawed at her soul, a stark reminder of her vulnerability to Hydra’s insidious grasp and turning on the person she loved the most.

“Доброкачественный. Возвращение на родину. Один.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched as he tried to keep the tears inside his eyes, a silent battle raging within as memories of leaving Alice behind resurfaced, the sting of abandonment piecing his heart.

“Грузовой,” Ayo concluded, the final trigger word hanging in the air, yet nothing changed. She offered a half-smile, though neither Alice nor Bucky met her gaze, their attention consumed by the unspoken emotions swirling between them.

As realization dawned upon Bucky that the Winter Soldier’s grip had finally been shattered, he found himself overcome with emotion, tears cascading down his cheeks in torrents of relief. Alice’s smile, though tear-streaked, shone with a radiant joy as she watched the weight of the past lift from his shoulders. It was all over. No more Forsaken, no more mindless assassin. It was over.

Ayo smiled, “You are free,” she uttered, her words a declaration of freedom. “You are free”, she repeated.

Finally, their eyes locked, and Bucky and Alice shared a silent exchange, their tears mingling as they held each other in a tight embrace. Ayo and the other Dora Milaje gracefully faded into the shadows, leaving the couple to revel in the newfound freedom.

As soon as Alice saw Ayo and the other Dora Milaje disappear into the night, she pulled Bucky closer to her and hugged him tightly, their heart beating in sync, their breaths mingling in the crisp night air. They stayed in each other’s arms for some time, basking in the warmth of their shared presence, the tumult of emotions slowly giving way to a profound sense of peace.

When they finally let go of each other, Bucky’s smile radiated with joy. Alice’s gentle touch traced soothing patterns through his hair, his response a subtle lean into her caress, his tears now mixing with a smile that spoke volumes.

“We are free, Bucky,” Alice whispered, her voice a soft affirmation of the boundless possibilities stretching before them.

Bucky’s smile widened, a mixture of disbelief and gratitude etched upon his features. He reached up, gently placing his hand over Alice’s as it rested against his cheek, cherishing the warmth of her touch.

“I never thought this day would come,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

Alice’s heart swelled with affection as she looked into his eyes. She brushed a stray tear from his cheek, her touch tender and reassuring.

“But here we are,” she replied softly. “Together, and free.”

After a long hug, they decided to go back to their respective huts, exhaustion weighing heavily upon them. Despite the weariness that clouded their minds, a subtle tension lingered between them.

As they reached the entrance to Alice’s hut, Bucky hesitated, his gaze flickering between her and the dimly lit interior.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” he asked, his voice soft with uncertainty.

A flicker of surprise danced in Alice’s eyes, quickly replaced by a warmth that spread through her chest. Without hesitation, she nodded.

“Sure,” she replied, stepping aside to allow him entry.

Inside, the air was thick with anticipation, the tension between them palpable yet unspoken. Without a word, they settled into Alice’s bed, the warmth of each other’s presence a comforting relief against the chill of the night.

As they lay side by side, the silence between them was punctuated only by the steady rhythm of their breaths. Determined to be comfortable, Alice grabbed Bucky by his hip and pulled him closer to her, nestling her head in the crook of his neck at the same time. Bucky smiled and put his arm under her head. With their minds finally at peace, they drifted into sleep.

When they awoke the following morning, the first light of dawn filtering through the windows, they found themselves cradled in each other’s arms, their bodies entwined in a tangle of limbs. And for the first time in as long as they could remember, neither of them had been haunted by nightmares.

tags: @selfsun​​​​​​​​​​​ @asimovethroughthisworld​​​​​​​​​​​​​

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masterlist

[soldierswar]

Melancholia- Chapter 5

AN: Hi everyone. Once again, I’d like to thank all of my amazing followers old and new. You guys are just the best and make my day all of the time. Thank you. <3 Also, I have to apologize so hard, I realized that one of my followers asked to be tagged in my posts and I totally missed it somehow? I’m so sorry, I’m trying to be better. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter? 

Masterlist:

           “Why is this necessary?” I huffed, slouching in the seat of the limo despite the fact that I was wearing and potentially wrinkling a 2000-dollar dress.  

           “Scarlette,” Alexander sighed.

           “After your father died unexpectedly, you disappeared for a year. You didn’t expect people to notice? This is your first appearance back into society, and this event is the perfect one. There will be cameras, and many people who have known your family for many years. So, stop rolling those eyes, and put on a pleasant smile before this car moves an inch.”

           I knew that he was right. I wasn’t a little 14-year old girl anymore, but now 17-year-old girl now with no parents. I was essentially an adult now and had to act like one. But I still hated these parties.

           Although, when I had signed up to essentially be a spy of sorts, living a double life wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

           As I tried to appear like my mood was picking up, that all went downhill when Emelia walked into the car. She wore a long, silk dress with a low neckline, making sure that her boobs were pushed out. I think that she had a great amount of satisfaction in knowing that she was the one between us with boobs, and I was one with a pretty unimpressive pair. Her competitive streak had literally come to this.

The tension in the car thickened within an instant of her walking in. There was no other form of communication other than quick death threatening stares between the two of us.

           She had been especially angry at me today because I kicked her ass again in training in front of a bunch of people. Getting her ass kicked multiple times in training sessions by the brand-new person who hadn’t even gone on her first mission yet had definitely put a huge dent in her incredibly large ego.

There was a moment where I was almost sure that she was going to kill me when she pulled a knife out and pressed it against my neck. Real weapons in our non-specialized training sessions were against the rules, so it was obvious that it was a very impulsive move on her part. Had the trainer not been there to yell at her to get off of me, I might have been a very injured Scarlette.

           “Seriously, girls. When are you guys going to start getting along?” Alexander protested after watching us mentally murder each other for 10 minutes.

           Emelia snorted, letting that be the last word in the car before arriving at our destination.

           As the car slowed down, and we had arrived at the party my hands started to sweat. This was my introduction back into society as a young woman, and I knew that the press was going to have a field day with taking my photo everywhere I went, analyzing everything I did. I was more nervous about this event than I was imagining my first assignment. I had already been told what to say when I was being questioned, so besides that, I just had to smile and act pretty.

           When I walked out of the car, it felt like a war zone. Cameras flashed nonstop in my face as tons of press members swarmed around me with question after question. It was all incredibly overwhelming. Somehow maintained my composure and answered questions with the story that I had been given to tell, and smiled for pictures as Alexander and Emelia walked into the party unbothered.

~Present day~

            Of course, I was busted. I had been somewhat of a public figure since I was born; it was so stupid of me to think that I could stay hidden away forever just because I wasn’t a Kardashian or something.

When Tony had turned the tablet to face me, it featured an article with the headline, ’17-Year-old Billionaire, Scarlette Dalton return from Neverland?’

It was a very old article with photos taken from my first event in Washington since I had come back from Russia when I was 17. An article with a pretty shitty title in my honest opinion.

It was my debut back into society after a year of being MIA after the death of my father. The story was that I went out of the country to travel, and have some peace and quiet for figure my life out. Unbeknownst to everyone else, I had been away being trained to be an assassin.

My demeanor had changed instantly, and I had to let the innocent stance go. For the first time since Stark showed up at my door, Lola was dead in an instant. I was Scarlette again.

“Alright, what do you want to know?” I sighed, slouching over the table.

The two men across from me looked at each other, raising an eyebrow in sync before turning back to me.

“Everything.”

…

My heart raced, my hands shook, and I was leaning over a trash can in the far corner, throwing up. This was especially fun since it had been over 24 hours since I had actually eaten anything.

I felt raw. Every part of my body hurt, and yet nobody had laid a finger on me. I had spent 3 hours being interrogated about my past. Even though I was talking nonstop about my own story for this amount of time, it felt as though I  had barely scratched the surface.

I had to talk about why I joined, when I joined, how many people I had killed, why I left, who I knew, who I was still in contact with. It was all so draining. So much of that stuff I wasn’t ready nor had talked to one single person about.

Every one of those subjects that I had to talk about, I could go on for days about if I had to go into detail. Which I had no intention of doing with Stark.

           Going back to those incredibly dark places that put me into the situation I was in now with someone who could have me locked up for the rest of my life was a completely different experience than talking to someone I was in love with who had been in similar situations.

           I knew that going back to those life-altering moments would be tough, but I had no clue that it would feel as though my insides were being ripped apart by guilt. The more I talked, the more pathetic I felt, and the more I hated myself. It really sunk in how horrible, ruthless, but naïve I was in those days.

           Now, the weight of every single thing that was said to me, and everything that I had to confess was weighing on me to the point of physical illness.

           I stood back up after almost 5 minutes of leaning over a trash can letting go of last week’s lunch, feeling even more humiliated that I already had before, and sat back down.

           After about 2 hours Rhodes had decided that he was no longer useful since Tony and I did most of the back and forth talk.

           “You’re not pregnant, are you?” Tony huffed.

           I sniffled, narrowing my eyes. That was not what I was expecting to hear from him.

           “What?”

           Tony rolled his eyes.

           “Rogers spilled the beans that you and Barnes were fucking. Are. You. Pregnant?”

           “No,” I responded quickly, allowing myself to sound annoyed.

           “Are you sure?” I continued on suspiciously.

            “Hydra made sure that would never happen so, I’m sure.”

           He nodded, tilting his head as if he were confused.

           “We’re going to get back to that, but I digress-”

           “So what’s next?” I interrupted.

           My voice was so shaken and defeated at this point.

           “For you?” Tony replied.

           “Yeah. For me. I just confessed a bunch of shit, and unlike someone else who is in your custody, I did it all voluntarily. So, yes! I want to know what the fuck is next. Prison? Execution?”

           He raised an eyebrow. Maybe it was my tone. I hadn’t realized that I had gotten pretty aggressive with how I spoke. But it was all coming out of pure fear and desperation.

           “Do you think that you’re just going to sit here for 3 hours and that’s it?” He inquired.  

           My body went numb. A million different possibilities went through my mind and none of them were good. What else did they want to do to me? I knew the idea of being interrogated for a few hours and just being let go was not part of the plan at all. But the way he said what he had just said push me even farther off the edge.

           “I think that you have key info, and stories that you’re not letting up on. And honestly…I think that we could use you. In fact, I think that we will use it. It’s official.”

           I paused for a moment, taking in the words that had just escaped his mouth. I processed what he said, and started laughing.

           I laughed in hysterics. It was the type of laughter that happens when you’re so incredibly devoid of emotion that you can’t even cry. The kind of laugh that doesn’t even come from your soul, because you’re pretty sure that it was ripped away from you. That type of laugh that makes you want to say, ‘Just fucking kill me already.’

           “Use me?”

He took in a deep breath, maintaining a serious face as he leaned forward on his elbows speaking in a very low tone.

“Dalton, do you think that we didn’t know that Hydra was rearing a couple of its ugly heads back?”

I blinked, still dumbfounded.

“What if I told you that we have a pretty significant number of people on this compound who are in the exact same position as you that are in. Ex-Hydra members who are helping us narrow down how Hydra works, and how to take them down when the time comes?”

I continued to stare at him as if he had just grown an extra two heads from his neck on command. This was absolutely insane. There was no way that the words that I had heard were the actual words that came out of his mouth.

“Ex-Hydra members?” I exhaled shakily.

“Yes,” he replied as if I had just asked him a stupid question.

I looked away, feeling as if I had just been punched in the lungs.

“No,” I mumbled, shaking my head like a mad woman.

“No?” He responded.

“No, I’m not playing this little game!” I spat.

“This isn’t happening. This is a bad idea. Shut it down. Now!”

What the hell were they thinking, acting as though it was a good idea to have supposedly ex-hydra members working with them? This was like Hydra members being within S.H.I.E.L.D all over again, except they were just being invited in like some Weekend at Bernie’s.

He leaned back, chuckling to himself.

“What’s so funny?” I continued shaking my head, looking him dead in the eye.

“Trust me. We keep a very close eye.” He replied, still not answering my question.

“Yeah, sure. Until someone finds a way to hide plans!” I exclaimed.

“No. There is no way I’m joining your little secret club. There is no fucking way.”

He shook his head. I knew that he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He didn’t like being around people who did that.

“Scarlette…” He sighed.

“After everything you’ve confessed to. Do you really think that you have much of a choice?”

I sat for a good two minutes not saying anything. Most of that time I was just focused on not bursting into tears, or vomiting all over the table.

“So you’re holding me as a prisoner here is what you’re saying.” I managed to choke out, holding back tears.

“I didn’t say that specifically.” He said, folding his hands together on the table.

“How you choose to interpret it is your choice.”

I took in a deep breath, telling myself that maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad. Not that I had much of a choice. I couldn’t go back home, whatever that meant. But perhaps giving myself the illusion that I had a choice was better than putting up a fight at this point. So, I chose to at least try to listen to what Tony had to say about it all.

“Okay.” I exhaled.

“What’s next?”

 Tagged: @a-heart-attack-ow @fantasticimpaladoctor @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @sexysamsungl @carryonmyswansong

[the-winter-spider]

Love | b.barnes

Word count: 3.2k

Warnings: Death, blood, angst, swearing.

A/N: This isn't edited or proof read, so sorry for any errors! I don't like this as much as I thought I would but that's okay, hope some of you enjoy it!

Masterlist

“I don't understand Buck?”

He ran his hand over his face “What don't you understand? How many times do I need to say it!” His voice was sharp, cutting through you, shards placing themselves in your heart.

What you didn't know was each time he said it the ground beneath his feet was shattering with the walls he was building back up after watching you crumble to pieces when he was in a coma for 2 weeks.

He knew what he had to do when he opened his eyes and even though he was bruised and battered. Nothing anyone could do to him to inflict pain would be anywhere near the gut wrenching site that he saw when he opened his eyes to you with dark circles under your eyes, cheekbones more prominent than before, your skin pale, hair oiled and matted, tear stains on your cheeks but what did it was you were still wearing your suit from the mission and he knew that he had to have been out for more than just a few days.

Well maybe, all except the look he saw on your face now.

You flinched at his tone of voice “I just, I thought you loved me?”

His eye contact with you never wavering, not a single emotion was shown on his face. It was hard as a rock but yours — god, you didn't even want to know what yours showed. You built walls up so high and he carefully took down every single one making sure he was careful not to break the foundation and you thought you had done the same with him.

But looking at him now and seeing all the walls surrounding him painted a dark shade of grey, ones you thought were replaced with doors allowing you in was just a facade this whole time.

“You thought wrong” he tongue ran over his bottom lip making it so the next set of words about to come out of his mouth came out smoothly, softening the blow “I don't love you anymore”

Your eyes darted to the floor, your tears dancing with one another seeing which would make it to the floor first. Taking a deep but shaky breath, you nodded. Your tearfilled eyes meeting him again “Okay” you breathed out.

And he just stood there like your tears were glue holding him to the floor and when he didn't waiver, no sign of him leaving your shared room. Like he was fighting for dominance with you through eye contact which you no doubt would have won two years ago when all your walls were up without a single window or peeling piece of drywall in sight but now, you knew you didn't stand a chance.

You nodded again, accepting the defeat, not bothering to wipe your tears away. You took what seemed to be your thousandth deep breath in the last 5 minutes. Step by step you moved forward, your feet dragging you with them but leaving a part of you behind. His eyes piercing into your back like daggers . Your hand lingered on the door handle twisting it like the knife he just placed in your heart. You swiftly looked at him one last time “I love you” you whispered knowing he would hear it. His eyes softened just slightly, his lips parted, adam's apple bobbing like he was going to say something but instead he clenched his jaw giving you all the confirmation that you needed.

With your head hanging low you clicked the door shut behind you. A sob you’ve been holding in finally leaving your throat. Your arms wrapped safely around you. Your legs were in autopilot mode taking you where they wanted as your mind was still floating around your shar— his room. His final words repeating in your mind “I don’t love you anymore” while it felt as if half of your heart was getting squeezed in the palm of Bucky’s hand.

You could hear the voices of your teammates coming into range and you slipped quickly into the washroom clicking the lock. Your eyes were red, tear streaks stained your cheeks, you looked like shit but nothing, nothing compared to how you felt inside. You leaned on the counter and put all your weight on it hoping it would somehow make you feel lighter — it didn't.

You felt stupid and ashamed that you thought you could have something good, that you could be anymore than what you were built to be in life. That you could have more than what you deserved.

The red room made it clear  that you were nothing more than a machine used at their disposal. You had no idea why you thought you could have had a chance at being something different once Natasha recruited you.

But at the same time you knew exactly why.

It was the false hope, the sweet nothings shared between two trained assassins on the roof at 2:30 in the morning when nothing but nightmares plagued the darkness when eyes were closed. When words of ‘Ill always be here for you’ ‘You mean so much to me’ and of course, your favourite ‘doll’ were spoken in hushed tones, hands almost touching but not quite, and nervous questions about the future lingered in the air.

It was the when your lips finally met his after a mission beat the living hell out of the two of you, when the finale shot was fired from the barrel of your gun and Bucky came running from just outside the warehouse opening panic written all over his face with the thought that maybe, just maybe that the final shot was not coming from your gun but the enemies. When he stood there in the doorway, eyes searching for you that then and only then when he seen you standing there gun now on the floor in front of you, blood dripping from a cut on your head, your left eye already bruising and your hair a frizzy mess on the top of your head that he finally was able to breath with his legs pulling him towards you, his eyes trailing over you before landing on your eyes then your lips that he grabbed both sides of your face — finally pressing his lips to yours.

It was the first time those 3 words were said, you were laying across from each other in his bed — soon to be yours too you just didn't know it yet. Your eyes were fluttering shut you could still feel his gaze on you but you were fighting sleep and that was the one fight you’d always lose. A strand of hair fell in front of your face, he reached to place it behind your ear because it obstructing the beauty he was currently staring at, the only light shining through his dark tunnels. He moved closer, softly kissing your forehead, gearing up to say the words he never thought he’d say to anyone, the ones he’s dreamed saying to you since the first night on the roof. Though he did think he was saying them to deaf ears, and he almost was but when his hand found its home on your hip just where fabric didn’t meet fabric and the chills ran up your spine your tired eyes were not so tired anymore. When you heard him whisper ever so faintly “I love you”. You waited till he fell asleep, or what you thought was him sleeping that you opened your eyes and whispered back “I love you too”. That was the only secret you kept from one another, one said between navy faded sheets.

Through the course of 2 years you let your walls down, added corridors, a garden of flowers planted and nourished by him. You placed windows where brick walls stood, doorknobs no longer had locks letting all roam free. Unfortunately now when you closed your eyes all you saw was darkness, not light not even walls. What you had now was beyond either of those, it was all gone. There was nothing left.

Your knuckles were turning white as your hands were burning from gripping the counter so hard you sighed, turning the faucet on and splashing your face with cold water, washing away any proof that Bucky had just told you he didn't love you.

When Bucky had asked to talk to you, you thought it was going to be about what today's mission since it was his first time back on the field since his accident but when you felt how the air changed when you walked into the room and the stone cold look on his face, the tiny droplet of nervousness that was clinging to just below his hairline you knew what was happening you just didn’t want to believe it.

You were praying it was just a coincidence and he was just that nervous for the mission and that the air wasn't really thick at all that something was wrong with your lungs because god, it was so hard to breath but when he opened his mouth and told you flat out he didn’t love you anymore you didn't even process it because it had to have been some cruel joke, right?

So you waited and waited but he never faltered but instead he repeated them. Somehow what once a beautiful day was now gloomy as rain hardened against the window. A room that was filled with so much love, stolen kisses and ’i love yous’ was left with sorrow, and ‘i don't anymores’ — the white teeth, crinkled bright eye’d photos of him and you that were plastered all over the room, seemed less hopeful, and you wanted nothing more than to tear them all down.

When the only sound that was heard was his heavy breathing and the sound of rain pounding on the window drowning the sound of your tears splashing on the floor, you knew it wasn’t a sick joke and that you were the only joke. You no longer wanted the last laugh, you didn't want to laugh at all but you couldn't help but let a hum of a laugh leave your throat thinking you would get a happy ending.

You waited a few more minutes making sure you were truly ready to face your teammates. The cherry on top of everything was that you weren’t allowed to go wallow in your own sorrow, basking in the heartbreak of your current situation, no you were a Avenger, you had a job to do, a job that required you to leave your baggage on the tarmac but you were going to do better than that you were going to tie it to an anchor hoping when you tossed it into the ocean it would find its home in the Marianas Trench.

Pushing open the door you closed your eyes taking in one last breath before making your way to the meeting. You were thinking maybe a little luck was going to be on your side that you would arrive before Bucky for obvious reasons but of course that was not the case after your little detour to the washroom. You opened the door, all eyes including those baby blues were on you. You of course avoided them like the plague.

“Nice of you to be fashionably late, that's usually my job but i'll allow it” Tony quipped waving his hand

You nodded, mumbling a sorry before finding one of two empty chairs picking the one that was beside Natasha rather than the one beside him. Tony’s eyebrows furrowed, giving Steve a look because you were certainly not one to back down from Tony’s playful remarks “Um okay?” he shrugged when Steve shook his head.

The meeting started like any other meeting so you didn’t care to listen, you didn't care for much at this point. You didn’t care that Sam was trying to make you laugh more than usual with his jabs, you didn't care that Natasha was asking if everything was alright and you certainly did not care about the blueprints or the plan that Steve and Tony had put together. You didn't care that Bucky’s eyes were still glued to you, quite frankly the wall you were looking at was the only thing you cared about.

“Everyone understands and knows what they need to do?” Steve asked the group, all eyes on you when you were the only one that didn't make some sort of sound of acceptance. “Y/N?”

You dragged your eyes to meet Steve’s “Yeah” you paused letting your eyes drift to meet Bucky’s before firmly speaking “understood”

Steve’s eyes, along with everyone else's, moved between Bucky and you “Okay, wheels up in thirty”

Bucky’s chair flew back as he stomped out of the room, being the first one out, soon after others trailed out one by one, you lingered behind not wanting to run into him, your gear was still by the hangar so you would only take minutes to get ready but you weren’t the only one that lingered, Sam gave your shoulder a squeeze on his way out before it was just his best friend and you.

“Are you okay y/n/n?”

You lifted your vacant expression to Steve “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, thats why im asking”

You nodded, feeling slightly betrayed you knew Steve longer than you’d known Bucky you thought you were close to him, I mean he was the one along with Natasha that tried their best to get Bucky and you together so of course you knew he had to feel someone what responsible even if he was going to act like he didn't know his friend didn’t love you anymore because you certainly didn’t. You stood up, scoffing readying to leave when he reached out grabbing your arm “I didn’t know”

Turning around “well, you do now”

You took your arm out of his hold, spun on your heel making your way to the hangar to grab your gear. Your body and mind were in two completely places, your body was subconsciously getting ready for this mission, your mind was underwater sinking and sinking.

The next couple hours were a complete blur, everyone piling on the quinjet, words being spoken to you, grunting a response or nodding in agreement. In this moment you were almost thankful for the brainwashing you went through for one of two reason, it allowed you to fight in autopilot while your brain was off somewhere else and not feel a thing but also because it was a lot less painful this way but it ultimately lead you here to what would be your untimely fate.

Everything happened so fast, one minute you were with the group the next you were in a completely separate part of the building you were infiltrating – well raiding is more like it. Now here you were fighting 3 hydra agents and normally you would be able to take them down with out hesitation but today wasn’t a normal day, no today was the worst fucking day of your life.

The old you, the one before him would have used the anger to fuel the fire but this you, the after you was using the emptiness you felt to try to feel something allowing there knives to just graze the surface, for there punches to lightly tap you but when you knew it was getting dangerous the moral side of you took over, taking them down but when you seen Bucky enter the room your eyes met his and he screamed your name lifting his gun up, but of course not in time because today just wasn't your day because you felt a pain in your left shoulder pushing you forward just as Bucky’s bullet whizzed by taking out the last agent.

Bucky watched his world crumple to the ground the second he saw the hydra agent behind you put his finger on the trigger, a sickly smile on his face and then he pulled it. You landed on your knees, pressing two fingers to the wound, bright red coating your fingers, dripping onto your suit.

Bucky screamed into the comms that they needed a medic, you heard a cluster of responses through your earpeace, your teammates asking the basics of the 5 W’s but with already half your heart missing and the other half giving out from the bullet you knew that those didn't matter and part of you was grateful that your last moments were going to be with him.

The room was spinning as he scooped you up to run and find someone you were trying your best to focus on his blue eyes, when you moaned in pain he stopped and his eyes finally met yours and in that moment you knew.

He fell to his knees, holding you as close as he could. “I — I didn’t mean it doll, I, I said it because I thought - I just thought…” he trailed off, his fresh tears falling upon your cheek, colliding with yours.

You nodded, really looking at him and you could see in eyes what he meant, that he did still love you and always would you felt stupid for not searching for that look earlier, you looked deeper searching for why he would do what he did and when you found it, a weight was lifted of your shoulders. You offered him the best smile you could muster up while blood was dripping out of you “I know Buck”

He frantically looked around his free arm holding you as close to as possible like you were going to slip away if he let go — which you were but he wasn’t ready to come to terms with that yet. His vibranium arm put pressure on the bullet wound that no doubt nicked an artery that was connected to your heart but Bucky wouldn't know that till later.

He was searching for the evac he screamed for over the comms, the ones that wouldn't make it time, you knew that but you didn't want to rip that hope from him. Your blood stained hand shakily reached up and found its home on his cheek “Buck?” your voice strained.

He leaned into your hand “Yeah doll?”

You just wanted to look at him, you needed to look at him to remember everything about him, every wrinkle, every speck, every hair, the dimple beneath his chin, just how blue his eyes really were and the way they looked at you because you didn’t know where you were going after this, you weren't sure if you believed in the afterlife or if it even mattered if you did but just in case there was one you wanted to remember everything about him in case you forgot, which was impossible.

“I just want to remember you s’all” You coughed, blood now coating your lungs.

You watched his face change, realisation dawning on it that this time you weren’t gonna make it. And you don't know what hurt worse, the gun shot, those words or the look on his face but the way your stomach dropped in this moment you knew.

He took his hand off your bullet wound resting on your cheek, you could feel his hand shaking so you placed yours over his to keep it steady “I love you doll, i love you so much, you have to know. I just thought - Im so sorry, i should have — I love you more than anything — You can't, i'm not ready, i'm not ready” He sobbed, water pouring out of him like the ocean overflowing.

“We never are” You felt a darkness seeping the edge of your vision, circling around the edges giving you just enough light to see Bucky.

He pressed his lips firmly to your forehead “I love you, i love you, i love you”

Using what you knew was going to be your final breath you gave his hand a squeeze before you opened your mouth for the last time “I know”

All Barnes tags: @akaaaaashiiii, @goldylions, @floralslythrien

[forgetful-nerd]

Sam: You guys kidnapped John Walker?!? That’s illegal!

Bucky: *holding a tied up John Walker* come on Sam what’s more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing the wannabe Steve? Or……… *pulls out the Shield* separating the real Captain America from his shield?

Sam: KIDNAPPING JOHN WALKER, BUCKY!

Sharon: Sam listen, whatever I may think of you right now, people are counting on you to inspire them!

Sam: What to kidnap people?!

Sharon: To work together!

Sam: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!

Zemo: Mr. Wilson, we all agreed that this ‘captain america’ is not ‘a people’

[mysticalrambling]

Happy Birthday (B.B)

A/N: Happy Birthday @peculiarpenman!! I’m so lucky to have you in my life through everything. You are the best thing that has happened to me in a long while and I love you for it. That amount of research, fangirling and tears  @pettinesspersonified and I put into this was unbelievable. This is my first try at writing for Bucky and it is all for you. Anything for you, darling. Hope you like it and I love you, K🧡

My Main Masterlist is here.

Summary: It’s a surprise ;)

Warnings: just some tooth-rotting fluff and Bucky(because he is a warning on his own).

._._._._.

Wrapping his metal arm around you from behind, he lovingly snuggled into your neck. You didn’t mind that it was the middle of the night or he was still in his suit; Bucky was here with you and that’s what mattered. Instead of pushing his sweaty body away, you pulled him in more. The surprising thing about your love was that there was always a distinct smell to him; cedar wood along with a hint of pepper. God, how could someone be so perfect?

“‘m sorry, pet. Didn’t mean to be late on y’birthday.” His husky voice travelled through the quiet room and you just closed your eyes to listen to his soothing tone. It was enough to lull you back into sleep but you fought against it. This moment right here was much more important than anything. More important than your sleep. ‘If that is the case, then he is above all things in your life’, you silently thought to yourself. 

“It’s okay, Buck. At least you’re here now.” Caressing his metal arm, you silently wondered if he could feel even the slightest touch. But your question was answered instantly when he slightly tightened his hold on you. 

“I told Stevie that I couldn’t go on this mission but he didn’t listen t’me.” 

“Buck, don’t get worked up over it. Let’s just g’back to sleep.” 

Whining into your neck, he placed one of his leg across your torso. “But I didn’t wish you exactly at twelve, love.” 

Your boyfriend has been very attentive towards these little things after the snap because he felt guilty for leaving you for almost five years. You have tried to explain to him that in no way was that his fault but he can’t seem to accept it. After being free from Hydra, Bucky has carried this guilt that everything bad happening in his life is his fault and coming back from the snap has just amplified it. He has been going to therapy to work on his misplaced feelings but they still linger in the shadows.

You understood the predicament he was in right now so you tried to steer his mind away from all those negative thoughts. “Get off. You’re heavy. Steve should really put you to more use.”

“Oi, you’re fat shamin’. And fyi, these are all muscles, baby.”

“Mhmm. Whatever floats your boat.”

“I exercise more than you, darling.” The smirk adorning his face let’s you know that he is in a mood for a playful banter.

“I’m anaemic, it’s not my fault.”

“Yes, of course. It is a very serious condition I must say.”

“It is!!” 

Your heart fluttered as you heard his infectious laugh and you realised that everything related to this man was simply breathtaking. Silently admiring him from your position, you thanked god for the day Bucky came into your life. You couldn’t have asked for a better man because he actually had manners, unlike your previous boyfriends, and he never tried to dominate your life decisions. There were times when you actually imagined a whole future for the both of you with a house in the suburbs and small kids running around the backyard that were a perfect mixture of the two of you.

“But seriously, Bucky, I didn’t even remember m’birthday until people texted me. So please don’t feel guilty about it.” You both had a couple session with his therapist a few days ago and the one thing that you learned there was that your opinions matter a lot to him. You feel the same way so you never felt as if this all was too much for you. You’d do anything for him.

“How can y’forget your own birthday, doll?”

“Hey! I have a soul of an eighty year old so don’t blame me.”

“Can’t argue there.” Kissing you on the forehead he went towards your bear collection and that piqued your interest. “Have to give y’something, doll.”

You sat up in your place and tilted your head slightly to get a better look. You were curious to see what he was going to do. Bucky knew your obsession with bears was something to not mess with so he always steered clear of them. You liked displaying them in a specific order and Mr Munch was right at the back because of his massive size. He was a gift from your brother and it has been your favorite ever since. Mr Munch held some serious sentimental value from the day he came into your life and he was great to cuddle with when Bucky wasn’t around. You realised that you haven’t moved him from his place for quite sometime when you looked at Bucky’s kneeling figure. Well, you forget about everything when your boyfriend is around.

“Buck-“

“Patience, doll.” He interrupted you with a gentle tone and you decided to listen to him for once. Let’s just say, you were excited to see where this was going to lead to.

When he turned around, he had a poster in his hand that looked like it was drawn by a kid. The only way you realised it was made by Bucky was a little heart with ‘B’ written on the bottom. There were multiple, misshapen sunflowers around the whole poster because he knew they were your favorite. He had made this last night when you went to sleep and he sneaked into the living room. You once mentioned to him that you liked posters and he had thought of making you one ever since. After many tries, he finally came up with one that was at least readable. The failed attempts were still sitting proudly in the back of the guest room closet.

“Oh my god, Bucky! This is so freakin’ cute.” You got onto your haunches and started reading the poster out loud. “You’re the most imporant- imporant? Babe, did y’mean important?”

“What?” Turning the poster around, he skimmed over the words quickly and a faint blush rose to his cheeks. You were trying really hard to not laugh out loud but the situation was hilarious. His facial expression was hilarious.

“Babe, it’s fine. The imporant thing is that I love it.”

You doubled over while laughing and your boyfriend stared you down with a look of betrayal and embarrassment. Bucky was in such a hurry yesterday that he forgot to skim through the words and now he was going to pay the price. You had quite a memory when it came to remembering every embarrassing detail and making fun of people because of it. This was like your personal, little hobby but you only did it to people who you were close to; mainly Bucky and your two idiot best friends.  

“Y’re mean!”

“Aww I’m sorry. I love this. Thank y’baby.” Bringing him closer to you by by his jacket, you sweetly pecked him on his cheek.

“I have another present for yeh, pet.”

“Buck, I don’t need anythin’ else.”

“I know you’ll like this though I don’t know why?” He grumbled unhappily in the end but you didn’t pay much attention to his tone. 

“Let m’look at it then.”

When he handed you a messily wrapped up present, you figured that it might be a book from the rectangular shape and light weight. Ripping it open quickly, you gasped in surprise. There they were; a whole series of Jason Todd comics. Jason has been your man from the get go and it has been your dream to collect his whole series. You just never found the whole pack. This was truly unrealistic and you wanted to scream out loud from excitement.

“Ho-How?”

“Turns out being an Avenger comes in handy.”

“I love y’Bucky.” You hugged him tightly and slightly wiped your happy tears. 

“I love you too but I’m way better than this comic man.”

“Excuse me. That’s my man you’re talking about.”

There was jealousy brimming in his eyes and that just made you smile a little bit wider. “‘m your man.” 

“Yeah but he comes first.”

“He’s not real so I’m fine with it.”

“Not in m’head but whatever floats your boat.” Kissing him softly, you felt lucky to have him and vice versa. This was one of the best birthdays till date.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

Like, comment and reblog.

[mayraki]

✧ let me make your night better - bucky barnes

-> asterie’s gif

summary: it all starts as a fun girls night out with your friends but when you get the unwanted attention from a man, your mood completely changes so you decide to call your boyfriend bucky to take you home. which leads to him wanting to make your night better.

masterlist

check out my bucky barnes x oc series let’s play fire with fire

a/n: there’s something about bucky riding that motorcycle........

warnings: creepy guy at the bar. oral (female receiving) +18!!

“Do you actually have to go?” Bucky asked as his eyes were glued to your body while you were checking the outfit you picked for the night. You turned around to see the poor man giving you puppy eyes as he was sitting on the bed behind you. “I mean, you can stay with me and we can watch a movie or something-”

“Bucky, I haven’t seen my friends in person in a long time. And I see you everyday... c’mon, it’s just for tonight.” You left the mirror to get closer to him and stand in front of him to grab his cheeks with your hands and make him lock eyes with you, as his eyes didn’t seem to want to leave your body. “My eyes are up here, baby.” You bit your lower lip as he let out a little laugh and grabbed the back of your thighs to pull your body even closer to him.

“I’m sorry, doll, but the way you look on that dress... what I would give for you to stay tonight here with me.” He said softly while gently caressing your skin. You let out a little smile getting closer to his face to feel his breathing against your skin.

“Maybe when I get back.... someone has to take this dress off..” you said with the intention to tease Bucky and leave him with wild thoughts on his mind, but as soon as you tried to take a step back he quickly grabbed your waist and pulled you up to sit you down on his lap with your legs between his body.

“So you’re teasing me and now you want to leave? That’s kinda rude, doll.” Bucky said softly against your lips before pulling in closer to touch yours with his. You immediately felt the hotness of his skin against yours, feeling your body with that desire you would love to feel so much. But you needed to keep your head up and not give him what he wanted, after all, that was your favorite game.

You pulled away and bit your lower lip seeing how his eyes were filled with lust. “Save it for later, Bucky. We don’t want you to get tired now, do we?”

Before he could make any other movement you left his lap and gave yourself a last look in the mirror. That tight red dress fitted your body like a glove. Ending right in the middle of your thighs and those tall black shoes making your legs more longer. You felt hot... and for the way Bucky was checking you, made you feel even more sexy.

You turned around to face Bucky once again and noticed how his eyes were slowly going down on your body, making the butterflies on your stomach go wild. But no wanting to show any weakness under his eyes, you walked closer to him and grabbed his chin to make his eyes look at yours, once again. “Time for me to leave, baby. See you later?” You asked softly before leaving a simple yet hot kiss on his lips.

“You count on that, doll.” He said when you pulled away. You smiled at him and then turned around ready to leave Bucky and your apartment behind. But not before feeling those blue eyes on your body just one more time.

>>>

“Cheers, cheers, cheers girls!” Your friend Kelly said as the sound of the glasses clinching together hit your ears. “For a wonderful night, for a wonderful life filled with love, money and success!” Those words were followed with yours and your friends happy laughs before taking your shot to your mouth, feeling the burning sensation on your throat as soon as the liquid was going down your body.

“Another round, please!” Your other friend, Jessica said loudly to the bartender which nodded quickly.

“I’m not going to black out tonight, girls.” You said as a little laugh escaped your lips. Immediately, you had your two friends looking at you disappointed.

“What?! Why not baby?” Kelley asked while shaking your arm playfully.

“C’mon! We haven’t party like this for a while! Let’s bring back those nights Y/n!”

You let out another laugh as you were shaking your head the moment the bartender pulled another round of shots for you and your friends. “I’m not ready to wake up with a horrible headache and throw up everything I ate today. Not happening. I need more night outs to finally get to that point.”

“Alright, seems fair! But we’re dancing until your feet can’t no more.” You and Jessica quickly nodded as Kelly let out those words. You all grabbed your shots and lifted them up ready to toast again. “For a hot and sexy guy to take me home because I haven’t got any action for months!” Jessica said and you let out a loud laugh before taking your glass towards your mouth, feeling once again, the horrible sensation against your throat making you close your eyes and shake your head waiting for it to end.

“I feel you on that one, Jess.” Kelly said after leaving the shot glass on the table. “I haven’t had a guy on my bed for ages, I’m starting to wonder if sex changed or if I have my virginity back.”

“Definitely.” Jess agreed. “We need to look for potential guys to take home, please. Someone rich, if it’s possible.”

They both turned around to wonder around the club as you let out a smile looking at your friends being their goofy selves. But soon after, they all turned around to face you with grins all over their faces. “What?” You asked confused at their facial expressions.

“Since we don’t have any sexual encounters in our lives, we need to live through yours.” Kelly said making you let out a laugh feeling the hotness going towards your cheeks. “C’mon, tell us what that hot boyfriend of yours do.”

“Girls! I don’t kiss and tell!”

“Don’t be like that, Y/n! Help your friends out.” Jess complained shaking your arm. “I’m pretty sure that man leaves nothing to the imagination.” She lifted her eyebrows repeatedly making you shake your head while biting your lower lip as the memory of the other night came back to your head.

“Oh, am I seeing that correctly? Am I seeing Y/n remembering something? Oh, girl, c’mon tell us!”

“She’s probably thinking about her boyfriend’s huge-”

“Girls!”

“What? C’mon, Y/n, I’m such touched starved!”

You looked at your friends but your mind was somewhere else, his hands touching you, his lips against your skin, your bodies dripping with water, your back against the wall... “The other night,” you started before your brain gave you a chance to decide about telling your friends “he decided to surprise me with something that he knows I like. He prepared a bath with roses in it and chocolate sented candles. We got in and well... one thing lead to another and we ended up-” you let out a tiny laugh seeing your friends carefully listening to your words “we ended up turning on the shower and doing it against the wall.”

Your friends pulled their bodies backwards to let their backs rest on the chair as they were covering their faces with their hands. “Steamy and wet, that’s the one right there!” Kelly said as you were letting out little laughs seeing how funny their reactions were.

“Please tell me he likes to go down on you.” Jess said and then carefully waited for your reaction, and then again, once you slowly nodded they both let their bodies hit the chair as Jess was waving air with her hand towards her face and Kelly ordered another shot. “Jesus, that man keeps getting hotter and hotter the more I found out about him.”

You gently punched Jess on the arm as she shrugged her shoulders. “Hey! That’s my man you’re talking about!” You said with a smile seeing how Jess took another shot like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“Yes! I know you lucky bitch!”

“I need to dance and shake my ass.” Kelly said with her eyes closed, feeling the burning from her shot. “Twerking is the only thing that’s gonna make me feel better.”

After Kelly grabbed you and Jess to take you two to the dance floor, you danced and danced until you started to feel your throat getting dry as you started to move along with the music. Your feet inside those heels were making your toes hurt so realising your defeat, you pointed at the bar to your friends and they quickly nodded, letting you know they got it.

Making your way to the chair you were sat down a half an hour ago, you let your body as well as your feet relax once your weight was on that tall chair. You let out a relaxing breath as you felt your toes getting comfortable and the cold wind that was entering the club hit your skin, making your sweat slowly fade away.

“Can I have a glass of water, please?” You asked the bartender and as soon as they nodded, you let out a tiny smile thanking them. While waiting for your drink, you pulled out your phone to check out the hour and as soon as the time ‘01:35’ appeared on your screen, you blocked it to leave it again inside your tiny black purse. “Thank you!” You said as the bartender left with a smile a glass of water in front of you.

With a quick move, you grabbed your drink and headed it towards your mouth to let it fresh your mouth and throat. Seconds later, the water was long gone and you were feeling better. So, with the intention to see your friends and check if they were still on the same spot, you turned your head around but when a strange guy walked in front of you making it impossible for you to see your friends, you slowly followed him with your eyes as he quickly made his way towards the chair by your side.

“Waiting for someone?” He asked letting his elbows rest on the counter as his face was facing you.

You let out a tiny smile after checking your friends. “No, I’m with my friends. They’re dancing right now, so-”

“Oh, don’t tell me they left you alone! They’re bad friends.”

You slowly shook your head while you locked eyes with him. “No they’re not. We were dancing together but I got thirsty so I decided to come here.”

The guy nodded as his eyes looked down to your lips. You moved in your seat uncomfortably as you felt his eyes under you. Trying to make it obvious that you didn’t want to talk you turned to the bartender and kept your focus on what they were doing. But when you still felt the guy by your side, you turned around to them once again to give them an awkward little smile.

“I’m Peter.”

“Y/n.”

“Do you want a drink?”

If guys ever approached you on the street you would usually tell them politely that you had a boyfriend of that you weren’t interested, making them to leave you alone or sometimes leaving the typical comment ‘you’re not that hot anyway’ in the processes. But for some reason, there was a feeling in your gut that this guy wasn’t good news. The way he was staring at you and after every word getting his body closer and closer to you, made you even more uncomfortable and wanting to go out of that situation as fast as possible.

“Not really. I already had a lot.” You said dryly and wanting the guy to leave you alone you faced the bartender once again, but instead, Peter touched your elbow with strength the moment he moved his body closer to yours.

“C’mon, what’s one more? Please, hey, you!” He snapped his fingers to call the bartender. “Two shots!”

“Hey, I said no.” You said shaking your head. “I’m sorry but I have a boyfriend.”

“And what about it?” Peter let out a loud as soon as the two shots were in front of you. “Can’t your boyfriend share?”

You stared at his eyes and soon felt how your heart dropped to your stomach. You looked at his hand handing you the shot but then quickly shook your head, grabbing your purse with the intention to go back with Jess and Kelly. “I better go find my friends, they must be looking for me.”

“You told me they were dancing so they’re probably having fun, Y/n! C’mon, take the shot with me.” Peter got closer the shot to your face which made you turn your head backwards. “Don’t be a party boomer!”

“I don’t want to.” You said firmly trying to take his hand out of your face’s way, but him taking it even more closer to your face made you unintentionally push his hand away, making the shot fall on his shirt.

“You little bitch! This shirt is new!” With the intention to grab your arm he lifted his now wet hand towards you but soon was stopped by the bartender grabbing his shirt and pulling him away. You quickly got up from your chair and looked how the bartender looked at you and once they noticed you were fine, they turned back to Peter.

“You better leave her alone, asshole.” They said and soon called the security guard, who grabbed Peter to take him out of the club after the bartender told him some words quickly. “Are you alright?” They asked and you quickly nodded. As they were about to say something else, you felt someone grabbing your shoulders and soon noticing your two friends standing by your sides looking at you worringly.

“Y/n! What happened?! Are you alright?” Jess asked as Kelly was looking around for Peter with anger on her eyes.

“I’m fine.” You said after gaining the control of your tongue. The realisation of what just happened hit your head so feeling annoyed at the music around you, you turned around to walk out the front door and leave the club behind, soon followed by your two friends.

“I’m gonna kill that guy!” Kelly said with anger while Jess was gently caressing your shoulder.

“Are sure you’re alright?” Jess asked softly and you slowly nodded pulling out your phone from your purse.

“I’m gonna call Bucky so he can take me home.” You said and your friends quickly nodded.

“We better go too.” Jess said turning to an angry Kelly, who was still looking around for Peter. “Kelly?”

“Yes, you call Bucky and tell him what happened because I’m sure he’s going to be down with me to kill that guy.” Kelly said but you quickly shook your head.

“No, I’m not telling him what happened.”

“What?!” Kelly turned to you confused. “Y/n you need to tell him.”

“No, that’s going to lead the whole situation into more chaos and I just want to go home.”

Kelly was about to say something else but Jess cut her off. “Kelly, is Y/n’s decision.”

Knowing that Jess was right, Kelly let out a sigh and walked closer to you to gently caress your arm. “Alright.”

You looked at your phone and once you saw the name “Bucky” on your screen, you let out a little sigh before looking at your friends. “Not a word, ok?” They both nodded and then you clicked on his name taking your phone towards your ear, already ringing.

“Hello? Y/n? Are you alright?” Bucky asked with worry in his voice the second the call was answered.

“Bucky. Yeah, I’m fire. I just- can you pick me up?”

“Why? What happened?”

“Nothing. I just want to go home. Jess and Kelly want to stay and I don’t want them to end the night earlier because of me. That’s all.” You looked at your friends and noticed the anger still coming out Kelly’s eyes, but her mouth stayed shut.

“Doll, you don’t sound alright what happ-?”

“Can you come Bucky?” You cut him off with your voice cracked. Something about him sounding so worry about you made your throat to close up and to feel some tears wanting to come out.

“Stay there. I’m on my way.” He quickly said before ending the call. Leaving your phone back in your purse you locked eyes with your friends and tried your hardest to keep your tears inside your body.

“Are we taking an Uber?” Jess asked to Kelly but before Kelly could answer, you shook your head.

“No, you guys stay. C’mon, it’s early. I’ll be fine with Bucky. Besides, you two still need to find someone rich so they can take us on their fancy boat.”

Jess and Kelly let out a tiny laughs while you felt your throat going back to normal. “I can’t promise you the boat, but a house on a lake is enough?” Kelly asked jokingly and you quickly nodded while a little smile escaped your lips.

Soon after, the sound of a motorcycle hit your ears making your head to turn towards the noise. You got up noticing the entire attention of the people outside the club was now on your boyfriend arriving while riding his motorcycle. Seconds after pulling over, he took off his big and black helmet off and left the motorcycle to make his way towards you.

“What happened, Y/n?” He asked with anger on his voice. “Did someone touch you? Who? Y/n, please tell me.” Not getting an answer from you, Bucky immediately understood and looked around with anger. “I’m gonna kill whoever touched you.”

“That’s the fucking spirit!” You heard Kelly say behind you.

“Bucky-”

“Where is he? Is he still here? C’mon, Y/n, tell me so I can show that guy that nobody touches my girl.”

“Bucky!” You yelled loudly enough to gain Bucky’s attention. He turned to you and once seeing the tiredness on your eyes, he quickly grabbed your cheeks and left a simple kiss on your lips. “Just take me home.” You said softly once he pulled away.

You moved back ready to walk towards his motorcycle and put the extra helmet on, soon followed by Bucky. Once you were on his bike sitting behind him and wrapping your hands around his waist, you turned to your friends and let out a tiny smile.

“With a lake house?” Kelly asked with a little smile and you nodded.

“Nothing less.” You said before Bucky turned the motorcycle on and started the way towards your apartment.

As the wind was hitting your skin you started to feel cold and your body to shiver, so trying to look for warmth you touched your forehead with Bucky’s back as you tried to get your body closer to his as possible. Moving your hips to his, you noticed how Bucky did a quick look to you on the back and understood what you were doing. Being able to manage his motorcycle with just his metal arm, he let go and with his warm hand touched your naked thigh with strength, giving it a little squeeze before gently caressing your skin with his thumb.

The amount of safety he made you feel by just touching you it was unbelievable. Everything that you felt moments ago was slowly fading away, making you feel butterflies in your stomach and filling your chest with warmth. You unconsciously let out a tiny smile as the feeling of freedom hit your body, you let your chin rest on his back as his hand was still on your thigh. The way he made you feel on that situation, him riding his bike with you on the back, it couldn’t be described. You felt in movie, those things you were used to seeing in old movies where the guy is something so far off by reality that would always made you feel sad because you thought you were never going to find something like that. But there you were, with the man of your dreams driving his motorcycle while his hand was resting on your thigh, ready to protect you and make you the happiest girl in the world.

“Want something to drink?” Bucky asked softly as the door of your apartment was being closed by him and you were on the couch, taking your shoes off.

“Not really. Just want to take this dress off and go to bed.” You tossed your shoes aside and made your hair into a bun ready to head into your bathroom and take off your makeup.

As you feet touched the coldness of the floor in the bathroom, you shiver but quickly turned on the hot water to wash your hands and start with your routine. As soon as you grabbed the makeup remover, you sigh regretting going out with your friends. It made you feel so disgusting on the inside as the memory of Peter was slowly going back to your head. It was more anger right on that moment than sadness and shook, the way that some guys felt you were obligated to say yes to them just because they wanted to buy you a drink. No matter if you said no multiple times. It was sickening.

Your muscle memory made you remember his hands touching your elbow making you stop throwing with anger the makeup remover towards the counter and close your eyes to try and forget it.

“Doll?” A hand touching your elbow made you jump and quickly open your eyes. But as soon as your eyes locked up with his, your heart went down to its normal speed. “You ok?”

“Yeah.” You nodded before opening the cold water to wash your face. You opened your eyes to see the water dripping down on your skin but then your eyes went directly to the man behind you. Once you did, you slowly followed him and his lips as they were ready to kiss your bare shoulders. Feeling their warmth, you closed your eyes enjoying the feeling.

His free hand slowly traced your body until it arrived in your stomach to gently push you against him, to warm your bodies against the other. Slowly living kisses on your shoulder, he then moved his lips towards your neck. Wanting to leave him more space, you tilted your head sideways as little breaths were coming out of your mouth.

“Open your eyes, doll.” He said against your skin making you shiver the second your skin felt the air hitting you.

As he said, you slowly opened your eyes to meet his as his lips were leaving gentle kisses on your skin. Your left hand touched his, the one that was carefully resting against your stomach to gently caress it with your thumb. Without giving you the chance to do something else, Bucky turned your body to face him and quickly grabbed your cheeks to leave a simple yet full of passion kiss on your lips.

“Let me make your night better, doll.” He said softly right in front of your face making you feel the hot air leaving his mouth in your skin. His eyes were glued to your lips and his thumb was caressing your cheek. With his metal arm, moved a piece of hair that was covering your face and carefully tugged it behind your ear.

“What do you have in mind?” You asked when a grin escaped your lips. Suddenly, like Bucky was waiting for that exact answer, with his metal arm grabbed your waist and pulled you up, making you wrap your legs around his waist while he was making his way towards your bedroom.

Once inside, as he was getting closer to the bed he pulled up your dress and left it right on your stomach. He carefully dropped you and quickly positioned himself on top of you. Feeling the coldness of his metal arm it made you shiver once again, but soon it was covered by the hot kiss he left on your lips.

Leaving your lips, he started to move on your neck and then your chest while his other cold hand was slowly pulling your dress up. Soon after, you were wearing nothing but your underwear. Tossing your dress to the side, Bucky held his body up by his knees and stared at your body like he was staring at a piece of art freshly made.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, doll. You know that?” He said with a little smile and that made your stomach turn as you felt the heat going towards your cheeks. Even if he had been your boyfriend for over a year now, no matter how many times he had seen you naked or called you beautiful, it still made you feel like it was the first time.

Getting closer to your face once again, he united his lips with yours but this time he managed to make the speed faster than the ones before. His tongue touched your mouth so you opened it wider to let it play with yours. As slowly as they were moving, you could feel the heat growing in your body. He had his metal arm by the side of your head holding his body on top of yours while his other hand was slowly massaging the side of your thigh.

His fingers found themselves playing with your underwear, pulling it and twisting it while his mouth was still focused on yours. But soon leaving your lips desiring for more, he ended the kiss and looked down ready to pull your underwear down. Like he was a pro at it, with quick moved he sat down on the bed and with his metal arm lifted your waist so the thin underwear you were wearing would come off easily. Letting out a grin Bucky toss it aside and used his hand to touch your stomach and slowly move it up towards your chest.

You could feel your insides asking for more. Wanting to feel Bucky against your legs even more as his hands were tracing your body. Joining them soon his lips were now against your skin. Taking his tongue out he gently licked your bare chest around your bra. Needing to take it off, you arched your back to let his hand go under and with a quick move making it undone to take it off your body and again, toss it on the floor.

“I’m never going to get tired of watching your naked body under me, doll.” Bucky said softly making you let out a smile as his lips were already flying towards your mouth.

“Bucky-” you said against his lips.

“What, doll?” He asked leaving your mouth to slowly caress your cheek with his thumb as his eyes were staring you and your eyes full of lust. “What do you want me to do to you?” He asked with a smile and you bit your lower lips while million of ideas were flying around your mind. “What is it, doll?” He asked more with a joking tone than before. The grin on his face became even bigger as a smile appeared on your face. “Oh, you want me do the thing- I’ll do the thing, alright.”

A little laugh escaped your lips as Bucky moved his mouth towards your chest and left little kisses on it, but soon placed his body lower so his face could be closer between your legs. Ready to feel that sensation your body was desiring so much, you closed your eyes and soon felt his lips against your inner thigh. Wanting to make more space for his head Bucky grabbed your thighs and slowly separated them without taking his lips away from your skin.

He was taking his sweet time around your folds leaving little kisses making you feel the hotness and the wetness of it become even more stronger and noticeable. You moved your hips to feel his lips more strongly against your skin, noticing this Bucky let out a tiny smile and looked at the desire in your face. “Want me to move quicker, don’t we?”

“Fuck, Bucky.” You let out softly gaining a little smile from Bucky’s mouth.

Just like you wanted, soon after you felt Bucky’s lips against your inner lips making you slightly shake under his touch. He started to leave gentle kisses before taking his tongue out and slowly tracing every single angle.

You could feel the sweat starting to leave your body as Bucky was carefully moving between your legs. That burning sensation he would always make you feel it was starting to appear when he moved to the top of your inner lips, towards your clit. With the tip of his tongue he started to make circles around it making you embrace every feeling that was happening inside of you. The butterflies in your stomach seemed to have gone into riot mode as your heart was going full speed under his warm touch. It was like he was putting you under a spell, making your entire body to fall for him no matter what he did.

“Fuck, fuck.” You spitted out almost in a whisper as Bucky’s tongue started to move faster against your clit. The faster he was getting you could felt your legs starting to shake around his head. The tightness of your inner lips and lower stomach was starting to make their way into your body as his tongue was professionally moving against you. But once you felt like you were coming undone, Bucky stopped leaving you wanting for more. “Oh, fuck you.” You said softly while Bucky just grinned before going back to your clit and leaving gently kisses on it.

Taking his fingers closer to you, with his index finger started to caress your folds up and down, making you, once again, fall under his touch. You could feel the wetness of your sex becoming stronger and stronger the more he spent between your legs. Moving his index finger away and taking his thumb against your clit, he started to caress it to place his middle finger right outside your orifice.

Feeling how slowly his fingers was entering your body you slightly arched your back and let out a long breath. The combination of his thumb moving against your clit and his fingers inside of you was making you fall into such a big relaxation and lust that whatever your body did or came out of your mouth was no longer under your brain commands.

Your hand flew towards Bucky’s hair to gently caress as he moved his tongue towards your folds to trace them up and down. Now, you had him touching your folds, his thumb tracing your clit and his middle finger slowly moving inside of you. He was a damn good multitasker.

The sound of your wet vagina was now louder as Bucky entered his ring finger inside of you to accompany his middle finger and make your legs shake around his head even faster. He replaced his thumb with his mouth and started sucking on your clit with strength to help you reach that wanted orgasm.

With the tip of his tongue and with speed, he started play with your clit and moved it around making your feel everything around it turn tighter and your folds to burn.

“Fuck, Bucky, I’m close- don’t stop.” You said with your voice cracked as he was gaining speed and moving his fingers with more decision between your walls. As they started pounding he slowed down and took his fingers out to enter them once again, making you let out a loud moan in the process. “Shit.” You said as your legs were shaking and his tongue wasn’t stopping against your clit.

Seeing how close your were, Bucky removed his fingers from inside of you and took his two hands towards your thighs to spread them wider and make more space for his head once again and for you to feel his tongue even more deeper against your clit.

Faster than you could let out another moan, you felt your inner lips fill with lust and your clit to burn with passion as his tongue was slowly taking its speed down. “Fuck..” you said in a whisper and you felt the orgasm slowly fading away as Bucky was leaving gently kisses on your folds and caressing your thighs with his thumbs.

He slowly went back to your face as he was leaving multiple kisses on your skin. Once he arrived at your lips he left a simple kiss in them as you tasted yourself. As soon as he ended the kiss your heavy breathing started to mix with his, feeling how his chest was touching yours and his free hand tracing your legs up and down.

The amount of lust he made you feel under those minutes it was more than you ever felt with any other men in your entire life. The way he made you feel under his touch, under his eyes, under his presence... it was like no other. He was yours and you were his. You were his girl and he made sure you knew that, nobody was ever going to hurt you ever again.

“Feeling better?” He asked with a smile the moment you opened your eyes to meet his.

“Better than ever, Bucky.” You said softly before uniting his lips with yours one last time. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad night after all.

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Milk And Cookies

pairing: dad!bucky barnes x mum!female reader

warnings: none 

||main masterlist||bucky barnes masterlist||christmas masterlist||

Bucky never believed he’d have a family especially with everything that Hydra had done to him, his mind wasn’t his for years so when he finally gained full control of his own thoughts and actions he didn’t know how he’d be cope in the 21st century. When the man met you he was instantly smitten, you were friends with Sam and he was determined for you to meet Bucky as he had a hunch the two of you would pair nicely, after your initial meeting it seemed as though the two of you were meant to be together and your relationship quickly began. It was a whirlwind romance and everything moved quickly after only six months together you found out you were pregnant. 

Both yourself and Bucky were beyond excited, Christmas traditions had become a big thing for your little family and as your son got older he began to really enjoy everything the two of you planned for the lead up for Christmas. However, his favourite part of Christmas was leaving the milk and cookies out for Santa. “So Bub, what cookies do you want to make for Santa?” Bucky asked smiling at your sons excitement, “Chocolate chip he likes those ones the most, last year he ate the whole plate.” Your son James said whilst grabbing the chocolate for the cookies. “Right get mumma and we can get started, she’s the only one who can get all the lumps out the batter.” As soon as Bucky had finished his sentence your son was gone and shouting for you to hurry up so you can get his cookies done before he had to go to bed. “Mumma hurry up, daddy says you’re taking too long and Santa will have to go hungry!” James shouted up the stairs making you laugh as you knew these were his own word and not your husbands, “I’m coming Bubba, Santa won’t have to go hungry.” You quickly made your way down the stairs. 

Once you made it into the kitchen you quickly began pouring all the ingredient into the bowls and mixing it all together. “So bubba are you excited for Santa to come and drop you some presents” You asked loving how much your son enjoyed this time of year, “Yeah but I know I can’t stay up and try and see him because then he won’t deliver my presents. But I really want him to like the cookies so daddy you need to stop eating the batter otherwise we won’t have enough!” Your son said sternly before hitting the spoon that your husband was holding that was covered in batter. “Darling we can’t be eating anymore of the cookie mix otherwise they won’t be any left for Santa. So how about you and James go upstairs and get ready for bed whilst I put the cookies in the oven and then when you come down we can plate them up and get some milk ready for the man.” As the boys went upstairs to get ready for bed you quickly put the cookies in the oven. 

Eventually the cookies were ready and had been left on a plate for Santa, so your son quickly put himself to bed excited to see what Santa left him in the morning. “So darling, how many cookies are you planning on eating this time?” You asked with a laugh as Bucky was already shovelling cookies into his mouth, “All of them, how are they so good?” He asked with a mouth full of food. It’s safe to say your son wasn’t the only fan of this tradition. 

[slothspaghettiwrites]

Sun and Moon Masterlist

*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.**.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*

Story Rating: Explicit, 18+ only

Warnings: ANGST, PTSD, implied past torture/noncon/abuse, brainwashing, hurt/comfort, smut, Bucky and the Winter Soldier are different personalities in the same body

Relationships: WS!Bucky Barnes x Sunny (Fem!Reader/OC mix)

Summary: The Winter Soldier needs his little sun

A/N: *sobs into my keyboard* there will be a happy ending I promise.

This work has Adult Content. By clicking “Keep Reading” you have agreed that you are over the age of 18 and are willing to view such content. My work is not to be copied or translated onto any other platform.

*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.**.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*

01. Sun and Moon

02. Sunshine

03. A New Light

04. Moonlight

05. Aurora

06. Solar Flare

07. Variable Star

08. Darkside of The Moon

Lighting of the Blaze

Collapsing Star

Solstice

Sun Bathing

Long Days Night

New Moon

*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.**.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*

Ao3 Expansion

*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.**.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*

Playlist

[lunarbuck]

What Once Was

Pairing: Buckyxoriginal female character

Summary: Elizabeth's life has been long and hard. When she was young, she discovered that she could hear people's thoughts. Her abilities were exploited and used by HYDRA and she trained to work alongside assassins and agents. After the birth of her daughter, Fiona, Elizabeth and her daughter escaped and began to live life for the first time ever. After the blip, the two settle in Brooklyn where Elizabeth gets a job at SHIELD. All is well until someone from Elizabeth's past comes knocking.

Status: Complete! - posted on my ao3 as well

my masterlist

Total WC: 76.1k

Warnings/Tags: descriptions of violence, trauma, hostage-type situation, teen 'pregnancy', PTSD, minor character death, blood, angst, fluff, implied sexual content, references to trauma

AN: This story is told in the third person, and takes place post blip but pre flagsmashers

i. One

ii. Two

iii. Three

iv. Four

v. Five

vi. Six

vii. Seven

viii. Eight

ix. Nine

x. Ten

xi. Eleven

xii. Twelve

xiii. Thirteen

xiv. Fourteen

xv. Fifteen

xvi. Sixteen

xvii. Seventeen

xviii. Eighteen

xix. Nineteen

xx. Twenty

xxi. Twenty-One

xxii. Twenty-Two

xxiii. Twenty-Three

xxiv. Twenty-Four

xxv. Twenty-Five

xxvi. Twenty-Six

xxvii. Author's Note

Extras:

Life in Wakanda Drabble

[tuiccim]

A Scarred Enigma (Part 3)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC Lexa Green

Word Count: 1.8k

Trigger Warnings: Injury. Hospital stay. Memories of child abuse and suicide attempt. Depression, anxiety, fear of touch.

Summary: Fellow Avenger Lexa Green is an enigma that intrigues Bucky to no end, but a painful past has left her scarred, both physically and mentally. Will she be able to overcome her past to find love in the future?

Divider by @firefly-graphics/ Thank you to my lovely beta readers, @whisperlullaby and @adorkably. Love you 3000!

A Scarred Enigma Masterlist

A few hours later, Lex awakens in medbay. Bucky is on his feet in a second when he sees her eyes open. 

“Hey, doll.” He says quietly. 

Lex’s brows furrow, “What happened?”

“What do you remember?” 

“Woke up hurting. Nothing really after that.” Lex sighs.

“FRIDAY sent out a medical alert for you. Wanda found you in the hallway trying to get to the elevator. I picked you up and carried you. You were pretty much out of it. Dr. Miles says you were septic. There was a shard of bone in your wound from when you were stabbed with the arrow.” Bucky says. Lex nods as he continues, “The whole team was here waiting until we got word that you’d be okay. They’ve each been back a few times to check on you.”

“You’ve been here the whole time?” Lex asks. 

“Yeah.” Bucky smiles at her. “Had to make sure you were okay.”

“Wh…” Lex is cut off by Dr. Miles’ entrance.

“How’s our patient? Awake, I see.”

“M’okay, Doc,” Lex mutters.

“You’re probably going to feel pretty awful for a couple of days. We’ll be keeping you here until tomorrow, at least, and you’ll be off duty for a couple of weeks to fully recover. You’ll be back to fighting shape soon, though.”

Lex groans but nods to the doctor, "What about the sample?"

"Came back clean. Nothing to worry about." The doctor reassures her, pushes some medication into Lex’s IV, and then makes a quick exit. 

“Can I get you anything?” Bucky asks. 

“A drink?” Lex asks. Bucky jumps up like a scalded cat and pours water into a cup from the pitcher on a nearby tray. Lex lifts her good arm to take the cup but then realizes she is only wearing the short sleeved surgical gown and the scar up her wrist is in Bucky’s full view. Quickly, she lowers her arm again and looks away. 

“It’s okay. I have them, too.” Bucky holds the straw to her lips so she doesn’t have to lift her arm again. “I’ll go grab you one of your hoodies. Is there anything else I can get you from your room?”

“My phone, please. Thanks, Bucky.” Lex says weakly. Her eyelids are droopy and he’s sure she’ll be asleep before he makes it to the elevator.

In Lex’s room, Bucky rummages through her closet and grabs a couple of hoodies. He finds her phone on her nightstand and grabs it along with the charger and the book sitting under it. He decides she might want her tablet so he adds that to the small bag he’d found in the closet. Glancing around the room, he looks for anything else that might bring her some comfort. He notices there are no pictures of family or friends in the room. No stuffed animals or knick-knacks. The room almost seems impersonal. The only thing he notices is the abundance of floral patterns and art. Paintings of cherry blossoms, dogwoods, roses, anemones, and more around the room. Over her desk was a pin board full of pictures and drawings of more flowers. Bucky smiles to himself as an idea forms. 

Bucky returns to Lex’s bedside to find her sound asleep as he assumed she would be. He lays a hoodie across her lap and puts her phone and book in easy reach on the rolling tray table. 

He whispers, “I'll be back to check on you in a little while, Lex.”

--

The bell over the door of the florist shop tinkles as Bucky enters. Feeling like a bull in a china shop, he carefully moves to the counter.

“Hello, how may I help you?” An elderly woman asks.

“I, uh, have a friend in the hospital and I wanted to bring her some flowers,” Bucky says nervously. 

“A get well bouquet? How sweet. Is she your girlfriend?” The lady smiles.

“No, just a friend.” Bucky blushes a little. 

“Mmhm.” The woman takes Bucky’s measure and a small smile forms on her lips. “Do you know what kind of flowers she likes?”

“Roses, anemones, uh, all of them really.”

“Well, that shouldn't be too difficult. I do have some lovely purple anemones. Do you want just a bouquet of those or do you want to add some more color?” The woman smiles at Bucky’s confused expression. 

“What do you suggest?” 

“Roses or lilies add a certain elegance and a little greenery. Did you want a nosegay or a vase?”

“A vase.” Bucky’s head is swimming at the options.”I’ll trust your judgment on the flowers.”

“I have a little experience on what pleases a lady.” The florist winks at Bucky and sets to work. 

Fifteen minutes later, she presents a vase filled with purple anemones, orange roses, filler flowers, and greenery. It’s cheery and beautiful. 

“What do you think, young man?” She smiles at him. 

“I think it’s perfect. Thank you.” Bucky pays and heads back.

--

Lex wakes to the rhythmic beating of her heart monitor. Looking to her left she sees Bucky asleep in the chair. She’s confused by his attention to her. She was nothing to him but a teammate. He had tried connecting with her but she rebuffed him at every turn. Sometimes being outright rude. Why did he still persist? What was his game? 

Lex’s eyes caught the colorful display of a bouquet of flowers. A small smile lit her face when she saw it. It was beautifully made. She noticed the hoodie draped across her lap, her phone and book on the table, and a small bag beside the bed. He had brought the things she’d asked for and more. She stares at the sleeping Bucky as if by doing so she might understand him better.

Carefully, she lifts the hoodie and tries to put it on. It’s difficult with the pain in her shoulder. She whimpers and Bucky startles awake. 

“What are you doing?” He asks. 

“Just trying to put my hoodie on,” Lex says nearly out of breath from the little bit of exertion. 

“Can I help, Lex? Please?” Bucky asks. Lex nods without looking at him. Bucky guides the hoodie onto her arm and drapes the other side around her injured shoulder, careful not to look at any of her exposed skin. Lex lays back and looks wiped from that little bit of exertion. It takes everything in Bucky not to reach up and smooth her hair or touch her in some way. 

“Can I get you anything? Are you hungry?” Bucky asks. 

“Thirsty mostly,” Lex says. 

Bucky hands her a cup of water and she drinks. 

“Why are you here, Bucky?” Lex squints at him. 

“Wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Bucky shrugs.

“Doc already said I’d be fine. Why are you here?” Lex persists. 

“You’re my teammate. That makes you family and we look out for each other.” Bucky says. 

“I’m not…” 

“Hey! You’re awake!” Nat and Clint walk in. 

“Hey, Nat. Hey, you sadistic shithead.” Lex grouses at Clint.

“What did I do?” Clint says mockingly. 

“You just have to use arrows, don’t you?” Lex narrows her eyes at Clint’s laughter. 

“The flowers are pretty. Who are they from? Secret admirer?” Nat smirks.

“Uh, no. I don’t know. Is there a card?” Lex asks.

“They’re from me. I, uh, I noticed how much you like flowers when I got your things from your room.” Bucky says. 

“Oh… Thank you.” Lex doesn’t miss the glance that passes between Nat and Clint. 

“Anytime, doll. I’ll let you guys visit.” Bucky gets up and hurries from the room. The blush across his cheeks is noticeable to everyone. 

Lex sees Nat’s smirk and as she begins to open her mouth, Lex says, “Don’t!”

“Glad to see you took my advice, Lex.” Clint says in a shockingly sincere voice. “It’s good to let the team in. Bucky’s a good guy. He won’t push you or do anything to hurt you.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t.” Lex says. 

“So, you’re open to it?” Nat asks pointedly.

“I’ll just hurt him.” Lex shakes her head. 

“Lex, give him a chance.” Nat pushes. “Bucky deserves one after all he’s been through and how kind he’s been to you. Every relationship has some hurt in it. You two would be good for each other.”

“I’ll… I’ll think about it. Being friends.” Lex emphasizes the last word and looks away. 

“How’s our patient?” Dr. Miles enters. 

“I’m okay, Doc,” Lex says. 

“Do you need any pain medication?” Doc asks.

“No more pain meds. I’m fine.” Lex says. 

“Call if you need any. Your shoulder is going to be tender for several weeks. I’ll give Sergeant Barnes all the care instructions tomorrow. I didn’t realize you two were dating.” Dr. Miles says. 

“We’re not!” Lex exclaims. “He’s just my teammate.”

“And friend.” Nat supplies with a smile. 

“Well, either way I’m sure he’ll take good care of you.” Dr. Miles smirks as she exits. 

“I hate all of you.” Lex mutters. Nat and Clint giggle at your annoyance.

 “Can I do anything for you or get you anything?” Nat asks. 

“No, thanks.” 

“I’m sure Bucky will get her whatever she needs.” Clint chuckles.

“Get out!” Lex says in exasperation with the two. 

“We’ll check on you later.” Nat singsongs as they exit wearing grins. 

Lex is left blessedly alone for a little while. She checks her phone and reads until Bucky returns. 

“Hey Doll.” Bucky smiles. “Did you have a good visit?” 

“I’m not interested in a romance.” Lex states. Bucky stares at her with mouth agape. “I’m sorry. I was going back to our earlier conversation.”

“Oh, okay. Are you interested in being friends? I mean, if you don’t like me or if I’ve done something to offend you, I’ll go.” Bucky reassures. 

“No!” Lex surprises herself with the answer coming out so quickly. “I mean I’m fine with a friend. I just need you to understand I don’t do relationships. I don’t date or anything like that. Okay?” She can't meet his eyes and just stares ahead.

Bucky smiles, “Whatever you’re comfortable with, Lex.”

"Are you sure?" Lex says cautiously. 

"Yeah, I'm sure, Doll." Bucky says.

"Why do you call me Doll?"

"Old habit. That's what we called the pretty girls back in the day." 

"Oh." Lex looks away. "Would you mind just calling me Lex? Doll makes me sort of uncomfortable."

"Yeah, of course. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

"No. You didn't. I just… prefer Lex. Thanks again for the flowers. That was very thoughtful of you."

"You're welcome." Bucky says as an orderly brings in dinner for Lex. "I'll let you eat. Should probably find some dinner myself. I'll check on you in the morning. Unless you want me to come back tonight?" Bucky fidgets as he talks.

"I'm good. I'll see you tomorrow, Bucky. Good night." Lex gives him a small smile.

"Good night, Lex." Bucky leaves.

Lex looks over at the flowers and touches the soft petals and a sweet smile spreads across her face.

Part 4

Tuiccim’s Masterlist

Updates and taglist: Updates for series will be made on weekly. Please follow my sideblog @tuiccimfanfiction for update notifications. All series and new stories will be reblogged to it. You will only receive notifications when a new part or story is out! Nothing else will be blogged to the page. I can’t thank you enough for your support!

[majestyeverlasting]

You Three Have My Whole Heart

Part 2/? (reading order isn’t critical)

PART ONE: Lost in Each Other

Paring: Dad!Bucky x Mom!Reader

Children: Jamie (James Jr.) and Eden, ages 7 and 6

Summary: Any day that Bucky is off from work makes for good memories, especially when there's fun plans for the family. It just so happens that one of those plans leave him with paint on his metal arm and, by the end of the night, there's so much love in his heart as he shares an intimate moment with you. Contains dad!Bucky, cute Bucky x Eden moments, and fluff.

Word Count: 1109 words

The few first times Eden touched the small tip of the paintbrush to Bucky���s metal arm, he ignored it. That emboldened her to continue until he murmured for her to stop. It was supposed to be a galaxy, she’d explained, an earnest edge to her soft voice. The white dots she added to the vibranium being tiny stars amid a dark sky, complemented by the existing gold accents. But she obeyed his request, refocusing on her actual painting, a grassy hill clothed with colorful flowers. However, the temptation visited her yet again. And he watched from the corner of his eyes as she began adding more stars to the galaxy.

It had been your idea to arrange a painting activity in the backyard. It was too beautiful of an afternoon to not be outdoors. The sunlight shone through the puffy clouds filling the sky, and the trees danced in the gentle breeze. You’d laid out a few old blankets for everyone to sit on, and handed out small canvas and palettes. There were also bottles of paint to be shared. The children were elated from the beginning, and Bucky, though apprehensive about his artistic abilities, warmed up to the idea for the sake of good company and shared memories. Perhaps, it should’ve been expected that someone would grow creative in a rather peculiar way.

“Eden.”

She pulled the brush away from her father’s arm. “What?”

“You’re not invisible, sunshine.” Bucky took a brief look at the additions she’d painted onto him. There were even more white dots, some with tails to represent shooting stars, he supposed. “You already have a canvas right in front of you. An actual one.”

You smiled as you watched them. Eden was gazing at Bucky with those sparkling, innocent eyes that sometimes made it difficult to grow frustrated. If anything, he was slightly annoyed by the idea of having to wash it off in the hours to come. He’d already gotten enough paint on his fingers from attempting to create something with, at least, some visual appeal.

You couldn’t resist the urge to tease him. “You’re her canvas.”

“Exactly!” Eden gave Bucky a toothy grin.

And though Jamie was still focussed on his own work, painting various red lines to contribute to the overall abstract piece, he spoke up, “My art teacher said that everything in the world can be a canvas if you have a vision… so that would include Dad’s arm.” When you gave an impressed nod, he smiled in the cutest way—he looked so much like his father. Bucky shook his head, but there was a hint of a smile on his face.

The remainder of the hour carried on like that: Eden continuing to expand the little galaxy, and conversation flowing between everyone as naturally as the wind blew. In a perfect world, such moments would’ve occurred more often than not but you were grateful nonetheless. All four of you were together, and even if the same couldn’t be said for the following day, that was enough. With time, it’d gotten easier to accept the fact that not only you, Jamie, and Eden needed Bucky. There were other people, some halfway across the world, who’s lives depended on him accepting various calls to action. And even with that weight on his shoulders, he never failed to give the best of himself to his family.

When it came time to head back inside and get cleaned up, you took Jamie to the bathroom to help him get the paint off his hands, and Bucky took Eden to the kitchen sink. He had her wash her hands first, but then sat her on the countertop to help her scrub the small remainder off with a paper towel. She was quiet as she watched him wipe her palms and the back of her hands, his touch gentle. But, eventually, a giggle bubbled up her throat in a way that made him lift his brows in curiosity.

“What if the little galaxy I painted on your arm didn’t come off and just stayed there forever?” She barely managed to finish the question before tilting her head back in laughter.

He smirked. “You’d be grounded for infinity and beyond.”

Eden snorted, and leaned forward to hide her face by nuzzling into his shoulder. That made it impossible for him to hold back a laugh—a genuine one that filled his chest. He could feel her hair brushing his cheek as she giggled into his shirt. There was no denying how much his heart swelled with adoration.

There was still a goofy smile on her face when she lifted her head back up, and said, “I love you.”

Bucky didn’t have to think before uttering, “I love you more.”

At the same time he lowered her from the counter, Jamie ran into the kitchen clapping his hands. “Mom said tonight can be a movie night!” he announced. “Eden and I get to pick.”

Sure enough, later that night, the four of you find yourselves snuggled on the living room couch with the soft glow of the TV projecting onto your faces. Eden and Jamie had insisted on being sandwiched between the two of you because it was ‘more fun that way.’ And after the movie ended, and the kids had been tucked into bed, you and Bucky were alone, your bedroom was quiet as you crawled into bed.

The two of you admired each other’s features in the dimness of the room. Both of you were tired, but undeniably content. You brought a finger to his face to gently trace his eyebrows and down the bridge of his nose, the action making him smile. And when he took a brief hold of your wrist to press a kiss to your palm, your stomach fluttered.

“So did you enjoy your day off?” You murmured.

Bucky was quiet for a beat. “One hundred percent.” His voice had taken on a soft rasp. “You three have my whole heart.”

Your smile turned playful. “Does that mean we can do what we want with it?”

He hummed. “Whatever you want, doll.”

Those words prompted you to move closer to him and press a brief kiss to his lips. But Bucky wanted more, and moved to prop himself over you to reconnect your lips. Your head still rested against the pillow, and you turned more so onto your back. And blindly, you slipped one of your hands up his shirt and let it rest just above his heart on the warm skin of his chest. The heart that belonged to you, Jamie, and Eden out of everyone in the galaxy.

-

PART THREE: I’m All Yours

[coldbrewandfangirling]

betrayal – bucky barnes x oc masterlist

Ava is an aspiring journalist, working on her first big story. Her life gets confusing when she meets James Buchanan Barnes, a charming, good-looking man, that she can hardly stay away from. She finds herself falling for him, hard, all while being haunted from ghosts of her past. But she can't shake the feeling that he is hiding something from her. (AU // bucky x oc)

read this story on wattpad || read this story on ao3

warnings: strong language, sexual content, mention of death and violence, minors dni

status: finished!

started: 24/07/2021

last updated: 30/04/2022

chapters published on wattpad: 59

chapters published on tumblr: 59

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 9

chapter 10

chapter 11

chapter 12

chapter 13

chapter 14

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 17

chapter 18

chapter 19

chapter 20

chapter 21

chapter 22

chapter 23

chapter 24

chapter 25

chapter 26

chapter 27

chapter 28

chapter 29

chapter 30

chapter 31

chapter 32

chapter 33

chapter 34

chapter 35

chapter 36

chapter 37

chapter 38

chapter 39

chapter 40

chapter 41

chapter 42

chapter 43

chapter 44

chapter 45

chapter 46

chapter 47 chapter 48 chapter 49 chapter 50 chapter 51 chapter 52 chapter 53 chapter 54 chapter 55 chapter 56 chapter 57 chapter 58 epilogue

[marvelmusingsbyhertz]

Scars, chapter 8

A/N: We’re back! Get ready for a world of hurt, y’all, because I’ve been writing this story - at this moment, we’re at 15 chapters - and it’s gonna hurt like a hemorrhoid.

Anyways, hope you love it! I’ve got a playlist for the series, and if you want to listen, you can find it here.

Feedback feeds the soul, my loves, and requests are always open!

MASTERLIST

SERIES MASTERLIST

ASK ME ANYTHING/REQUESTS

Pairing: Bodyguard!Bucky x reader

Warnings: Language, angst, slight fluff

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Chapter 8: Attack

One day and some odd hours, and you’d be exposed. One day and some odd hours away, you might be dead, hurt, tortured or any of the above, and it made your heart fucking jumped against your rib case, like it was trying to escape before that would happen.

It was insufferable and you despised feeling out of control.

You were pacing your room angrily, ripping hair from the roots as you glared at the stupid, empty word-document in front of you. Not only were you worried about the damn fundraiser, but now you were also suffering from a goddamn writer’s block.

It probably had something to do with the onslaught of emails you'd received over the last two days. Sometimes they’d tick in every hour, more and more horrible, sometimes it would be hours in between, but they would always come. You hadn’t shown it to Bucky, because what was the point? They couldn’t pinpoint where they came from, nobody had tried to physically fuck you up, you weren’t really scared (or so you told yourself insistingly), just annoyed that you never really had a break from them.

The most recent one had actually made you feel a little ickier than normally. Something about the wording or maybe the underlying threat that you’d probably be the only one to perceive, made your stomach turn wildly and reminded you a little of the times Brock had made your skin run cold.

You sighed and sat down on the bed, your head in your hands - every time you closed your eyes, you saw the words flash against your black eyelids, which did not help with your current feelings of unease.

A soft knock sounded.

“Yeah?” you grunted out, not bothering to lift your head from your hands as the door opened with a slight creak. A smell wafted over you and you drew it in thankfully. Coffee.

“I thought you’d might need it.” Bucky’s voice sounded to your left and you finally lifted your head and looked at him, already reaching for the mug.

“Thanks.” He nodded and looked at your open computer. He pointed.

“In a rut?” Your turn to nod as you took a sip of the coffee. “Yeah. My deadline is tonight, and I literally can’t put my fingers to the keys and write something worthwhile. I’ve tried, but my brain is currently whipped cream.” He glanced at you.

“You look like fucking shit.” He said. You rolled your eyes and smiled bitterly at him.

“You bring me so much joy when you leave the room.” He grinned. “I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one.” he retorted. Asshole. You groaned and sipped the coffee again.

“I haven’t slept much.” you said in a small voice. He nodded understandingly, clearly knowing exactly how that felt. “So, when I can’t sleep, I go into what I’d like to formally introduce as Trash Can-racoon, Y/N.” You said, gesturing to your body. You had lovingly dubbed yourself as that in college and for good reason - you thought.

“What’s wrong with it, other than the greasy hair, makeup under your eyes and the general decay, you’re sporting?” He asked and sat down with a smirk on your chair. Despite the rest, it was nice to feel like you had a friend around.

“Okay, first of all, this…” You gestured to your face. “Isn’t makeup. It’s dark circles and I worked very hard on them, thank you very much.” He held his hand up as an apology. “Secondly, I am currently sporting a ratty, ruined t-shirt I found at Goodwill already with some holes, and I managed to make even more and still have a shirt, plus leggings with holes and stains, I’m not really sure can even get outof the fabric at this point and woollen socks, which happens to also have holes.” He glared at your footwear.

“Those are mine.”

“And I thank you for your sacrifice.” “Why is everything holey?” he asked, pointing to your shirt. It was the only thing that had survived the apartment-bombing, since it was stuffed all the way in the bottom of your bag, completely crumbled up. You shrugged.

“Tears corrode.” He chuckled and bit his lip.

“Okay, fuck this. Let’s go watch one of those stupid movies, you really, really like that really, really suck major ass, so you can get out of your rut and I won’t have to replace the floor, because you’ve paced a groove into it.” He said, standing up.

You considered. “ANY movie?” You asked, already forming a plan.

“I’m going to regret this, but yes, doll.” He said with a face that definitely wasn’t completely okay with this. “Great. I’ll just write to my editor, tell her the article might be a few days late. She’ll understand, right?” You asked, mostly yourself, but Bucky nodded.

“Sure she will. Or I’ll break her legs.” He said seriously. You rolled your eyes and quickly wrote a very apologetic email, where you promised to put at least one less swear in the article and quickly hit send, before you could regret it.

Bucky was already on the couch, ready with the remote and a look of pure disdain on his face. “If you make me watch one of those awful Netflix-movies, I’ll crush your windpipe.” He threatened. “Eh, I’m not too worried. I’m way too pretty for that, right, Buck?” You asked and grabbed the remote from his hand. He glared at you.

“Feed your own ego, I’m busy.” He stuffed his mouth with candy from the bowl on the table and you grinned at him, pulling Netflix up. He groaned. “Fuck you, Y/N.” You blew him a kiss.

“You love me.” And with that, you put on the Kissing Booth. He sighed.

------------

“Y’know, this is honestly garbage. I’d rather go back in cryo than watch this again.” He said, a sneer on his face as the credits ran over the screen. You grinned happily at him. “I guess now would be a great time to tell you that there’s two sequels.” He flung his head back against the couch. “Nope, no way. You’re done. You’re done.” He said, turning of the tv before you could grab it. “Fine.” You were quiet for a while. You wanted to do something else, anything, really, but there wasn’t much to do in the small apartment, and all that was in your head was Bucky – which wasn’t exactly something you could do.

“I should probably go to bed.” You said finally, glancing at him. He nodded slightly. “That would probably be a good idea.”

You sat in silence, neither of you moving. He was staring at the black screen, completely still, and you didn’t want to move – there was something about him that made you want to stay right here. His fingers twitched. “Uhm…” You started but stopped again. “Yeah?” he asked. You bit your lip and glanced at him. “Never mind.” You finally stood up and smiled at him. “See you for the big bang tomorrow.” He frowned. “Don’t call it that, we’re trying to avoid a big bang.” You shrugged. “Alright, the big shebang.” He groaned. “You’re not making it better, Y/N.” “Goodniiiight!” you said in a singsong-voice before going to your bedroom and closing the door. You went to the bed but felt a strange cold – your window was open. You frowned and walked slowly to it, trying to remember if you by chance had left it open, but you couldn’t for the life of you remember leaving it open at all.

A scaffolding stood outside, which you hadn’t really considered before now was probably not too smart. Bucky had told you that they were fixing something on the side of the building. As you approached the window, you noticed something else; a sharp smell of rubbing alcohol penetrated your nose and you grimaced as you looked around for the source. Your computer pinged, as an email came in and as you turned to look to your computer, you noticed the brown package, that had been put right behind it.

“Shit.” You walked to it and the stench of rubbing alcohol made your stomach turn. Another, deeper smell was hiding under the stench of the rubbing alcohol, and you suddenly felt your stomach drop – something, other than the fact that an unknown package was sitting on your desk, felt so incredibly off that you wanted to scream.

So you did. For Bucky.

“Bucky?” You called out, surprised at the level of calm in your voice. “Can you come in here?” You could hear his steps walked towards your door, before opening it. You were staring at the package but turned your head at his voice. “If you’re trying to get me to watch the fucking Kissing Both two, I’ll…” He stopped abruptly as he saw your face. “What’s wrong?” In the same second he said it, he grimaced and sniffed around. He could clearly smell the rubbing alcohol in the room and looked confused. “Are you hurt?” He asked, rushing to you and looking you over. “No. I, uh…” You pointed to the box and his eyes flicked to it, back to you and back to the box. “What the fuck is that?” You pointed to the window. “That wasn’t opened when I left the room.” His eyes were wide and in a fraction of a second, you were behind him, his arm outstretched over your chest, another pointing a gun to the open window. “Dude, they’re not here.” You mumbled, but he ignored you, swiftly walking you backwards out of the room. He turned to you and looked urgently at you. “No matter what, I need you to stay here.” He urged. You nodded, too scared to do anything else – his face was enough to keep you rooted in place.

He walked to your room, gun in hand, and came out seconds later with the package in his hand, and he set it down on the console in the middle of the living room with a quick glance at you. “It’s not an explosive.” He mumbled before he gently opened it, the stench of rubbing alcohol filling the apartment. You gagged. “Call Steve.” His voice was harsh as he investigated the package, his jaw clenching. “Why? What’s in it?” your voice was high-pitched, and you made a move towards him, but he held a hand out, stopping you in the middle of a step.

“Bucky, what is it?” “Call Steve right fucking now.” He hissed. You took your phone out with shaking hands and called Steve, who answered after the second ring. “Y/N? Everything okay?” “I, uh, I’m not sure. There was a box and I don’t know what’s in it and, uh…” Bucky gestured for the phone and you handed it over, your heart in your throat. “Steve. I don’t know how the fuck they found her, but they did.” He paused and glanced at you. “They found more than just her. They sent her something.” He bit his lip. “They sent her a fucking hand, Steve.”

You wanted to throw up.

“No, we can’t do that. We can’t wait, we need to move her further out and figure out who the fuck is missing a hand.” Your breathing was shallow, and you cleared your throat. “I got an email right as I found the package.” You whispered. He glanced at you and walked quickly, almost jogged, straight into your room, grabbed your computer and walked back to you, the phone lodged between his shoulder and ear as he opened it and gestured for you to unlock it. You did, and he gently pushed you away from the computer. “Steve… This can’t be fast enough. We need her out, now.” He groaned at Steve’s answer. “Fuck it, I’ll get her out, then. IS safehouse 34 open?” He waited for the answer. “Great. No, it’s not a fucking discussion, Steve, it’s done. I’m taking her out of here, and we’ll discuss the rest tomorrow.” He waited again, clearly growing agitated. He looked at you. “Hey, grab whatever you can in your bag, we’re leaving.” He rolled his eyes at Steve on the phone. “Steve, are you kidding me? We’re going, now, and whatever qualms you have about it, you can take up with my ass.” You could hear Steves voice – he was mad. “The fucking series of mental backflips I had to make to understand your point of view, should’ve broken my neck.” He quipped as you rushed to your room and grabbed everything you could think of, stuffing it your bag, and tried to control your breathing.

“Ready?” His voice was tense, and you turned to him. He was holding a helmet in his hand. “If you think that I’ll sit on the back on your two wheeled death machine you’ve got an emptier head than I thought.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m not in the mood, Y/N. Put it on or I’ll force it on you.” You grumbled and grabbed it, stuffing your head in it. It was tight and warm and you felt like your face was being squished like a marshmellow between crackers.

“This might make my head explode. Like, brain matter all over. It’ll be on you that I died.” He rolled his eyes again and grabbed your bag, leading you out of the apartment. You glanced at the package, left opened on the middle of the console – it looked to innocuous as is stood there in its simplicity.

You groaned. “Okay, maybe it won’t explode. Maybe I’ll die of a heat stroke first.” Your voice was muffled behind the visor. “Goddamnit, Y/N, you’re not a drama queen, you’re the whole royal, fucking family.”

NEXT CHAPTER

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TAGLIST:

@kingshitonly @honeywithemoney @ilovedoggies4everever-blog

@cjand10 @noname0300 @gloriuspurposee

@dontputyourfuckingdrinkonmytable @janita @gloryekaterina

@anrimdjarin @thomasthetankson @lesbians4loki2021

@marvel-whor @boofy1998 @anrimdjarin@brea-renee

@est1887 @the-omni-princess @tfandtws @youtubersshipper

@calstielwinchester @lover-of-bucky

@the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned

[galacticwildfire]

Memories | Bucky Barnes

One

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x blackwidow!oc

Summary: Ada wakes in the year 2013 after being found frozen in a collapsed Hydra lab and remembers her life in the 40′s as one of the first graduates of the Red Room, a weapon in the hands of the US military. She remembers her service in Captain America’s squadron and her secret romance with his right hand man Bucky Barnes, who she lost to the Winter Soldier.

Warnings: heavy violence; stabbing, shooting, choking. PTSD. Torture. References to war and the Red Room. Attempting double suicide due to capture. Fluff. Secret elopement. chapter feat. Steve and Natasha 

Word count: 5.5k

A/N: Hi guys, I have a new fic in the works and I’m excited to finally be able to share it with you. After this chapter it will go back to the 40′s and explore their story before returning to the modern day where she has to hunt down the Winter Soldier. Dw it’s not a slow burn like my other ones, eventual smut will be like chapter four. It might be the 40′s but have you seen that body.

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2013.

Lights blind me as I'm rolled through the halls of a hospital, my limbs still frozen. I have never been so cold. All that I felt was the knowing I needed to be in the field, that I had to be fighting, not here, not so weak.

Russian words are spoken to me.

"Miss, what is your name?"

Half consciously I murmur it. "Ada."

"Your full name Miss."

Each word is a battle in my current state. "Adelina Viktoria Barnes."

"Alright Miss Barnes, we don't know what happened to you but you are safe now."

I shake my head, releasing a deep whine of pain at the Russian voice. "No- no."

"You're fourteen now Lina," Mama said with her thick Russian accent, a cigarette hanging from her lips. "Do you understand why your education has been so different to other girls your age?"

"Because of the Nazi's," I answered, knowing it was an oversimplification of events, but I knew Hitler was becoming powerful, was a threat to Stalin. They said war could break out any day.

"Yes child," she said, extending a cigarette to me which I knew better than to refuse. "The education you have received in the Red Room is one not possible in America. Your father allowed me to bring you here to Russia on the agreement you would have American citizenship and spend the summers with him. And I agreed as any spy needs to know how to blend in, and you my child have been blending into American society since you could walk. But you will not spend this summer with him."

"Why not?"

"Your doctors have a new medication they would like you to trial, one your father will not know about," she said, making it clear it was an order.  

I looked at her with apprehension. "But I am not ill."

"No, you aren't," she said lighting the cigarette I held. "This medication will ensure you never will be if it works how they hope it will."

A pull around my neck brings me back. "Wait are those dog tags she's wearing?"

"American tags, world war two," a Russian mans voice said. "Two sets. They must be her fathers, or even grandfathers, she has to only be in her early twenties"

"Sir," a quiet voice says. "The name on one of the tags is her's."

There's silence until a trembling voice speaks up. "Miss Barnes, what is your date of birth?"

My head spun, ached to recollect such simple information, even then I could only muster the year. "1922."

I was nineteen when I listened to the radio in horror from my fathers home in Washington. "Today marks the day America has entered the war. Among those killed at Pearl Harbor was war veteran General William R Morgan who was identified by surviving soldiers, more than eight hundred bodies have so far been recovered, however, the fatalities are believed to surpass two thousand."

Papa.

"Don't cry for that old bastard!" Mama snapped at me and pulled the tear-stained cigarette from my fingers, putting it out on the oak table beside me. "The helicopter will be here in ten minutes. Pull yourself together!"

"My father is dead, will you at least let me bring him home and bury him in peace!" I snapped at her and she actually laughed.

"We aren't bringing him home, we are leaving this godforsaken country."

"And going where?" I asked, fear creeping into my bones, knowing how close I'd come to escaping the Red Room by returning to America for University.

"Russia," she said putting a revolver into my hands, loaded with a bullet I should have put in her head, if not for young Katya watching from the doorway. "Hydra needs you."

The doctor sticks a drip into my arm much to my discomfort. "It seems you were seriously injured Miss Barnes, you were stabbed and it seems you have lost a significant amount of blood."

"No shit," I murmur as one of the nurses calls the doctor out of the room.

"We can't find any Adelina Viktoria Barnes in the records," I hear the nurse say from behind the door, thinking I can't hear. "However, we did find an Adelina Viktoria Morgan who served in the war which matches the name on her dog tag. She- she was a supersoldier."

"Why are you doing this!" I screamed as they repeated the same words on a loop to me.

"Longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace, nine, benign, homecoming, one, freight car."

My body was convulsing with the electricity they shot into my veins, which already burned with something else, and all I knew was that I should already be dead.

"Agent, she won't submit to the trigger words," I heard the scientist say.

"Then make her," I heard my mothers voice say. "Break her. I did not push her out of my womb and spend nineteen years training her for her to fail."

"If we keep administering the shocks-"

"I don't care," she said as cold tears fell down my cheeks. "Break her. Hail Hydra."

I wake to shackles on my wrists, keeping my eyes closed I begin subtly testing them and can immediately tell they aren't Hydra, but something unfamiliar.

A male American voice breaks the silence and I open my eyes to see an African American man with an eye patch speaking to a red headed woman.

"She was one of the Red Rooms first graduates, the CIA dubbed her the Red Widow due to her involvement with the Soviet Union, she was one of Stalin's favourites. The Nazi's even had their eye on her for a while due to her training and alleged chemical enhancements from Hydra. Ambraham Erksine had tested the first version of the supersoldier serum on her. Erksine later smuggled her to America where she was a citizen thanks to her father being a General. She spent months under psychiatric evaluation and reprogramming so the government knew she wouldn't be a threat and decided that they needed to keep a weapon like her as close as possible. Erksine had tested the first version of the supersoldier serum on her."

The memories have me clenching my fists.

"And then what happened?"

"Then the government didn't know what to do with her, except for making sure she was contained. Eventually, they made her the counterpart to Captain America, put her on pin-up posters to spite Hydra and the Red Room. But they could only put a weapon in a tutu for so long."

"Adelina, this is Steve Rogers," Erksine said, introducing us in the lab. "The two of you will become very well acquainted."

"Mr Rogers," I said shaking his hand with a perfect American accent, still hesitant of Erksine's choice for the final serum. "I am pleased to meet your acquaintance."

"Mr Rogers, this is Adelina Jones, perhaps the best trained agent in America and our greatest asset. Together you two will help end this war."

"I can only hope," I agreed, but I did not trust what the government had in store for me. "Doctor Erksine has very high hopes for you Steve, adjusting to the serum may be difficult but I am here to help you however I can."

He looked at Erksine in confusion who explained. "Adelina was the subject of experiments under Hydra, she was already at the peak human condition before I gave her the experimental version of the serum, but now she is truly something special, just as you'll be Mr Rogers."

Consciousness slipped from me with every passing moment, unable to fight the gas they pumped into my lungs with the restraints holding me down.

"We pulled her out of a collapsed Hydra lab, buried beneath rubble with stab wounds and she somehow survived the blood loss while being frozen."

"She had a reputation of being hard to kill."

"Why did she give the nurses a fake name, she said her name was Barnes?"

"Not a fake name, her married name," the man replies as the last pieces of consciousness slip away. "She married Steve's right-hand man James Barnes in secret before the war ended. They wanted her to be a weapon, government property, but she also had a reputation for defying orders. He was killed in action and she went missing trying to recover the body, or as others believe, trying to discover if he somehow survived. Judging by the two sets of tags around her neck I say she found her answer, then Hydra found her."

After two days of searching through the melting snow by the river, finally my metal detector found something.

Desperately I dug through the snow with numb hands until I found something hard, something frozen, and I felt his fingers. Tears froze on my cheeks as I pushed the snow aside and looked down at the frozen hand I held, at the watch around its wrist. And beside it half buried in the snow are two tags, one with his name, and one with mine.

I swallowed my grief and whispered "I'm bringing you home James."

Yet as I went to uncover the rest of the body there was nothing to find, and silent screams of horror caught in my throat as I pull his severed arm free from the snow. Even after all the blood I'd seen in my life I could have collapsed at the sight of it. At what was left of the love of my life.

For days I searched for the rest of him, I searched for my husband in vain until I knew there was only one place I would find my answer. And so I didn't fight as Hydra surrounded me, and knew I was walking into the most dangerous mission of my life.

But I had nothing left to lose.

When I wake to the sound of the Andrews Sisters playing from the radio I'm no longer restrained, there's no longer chemicals or blood being pumped into me. I lay in a plain hospital room in a white nightgown, my dog tags still hanging around my neck. Slowly I stretch my limbs for the first time in so long and sit in bed, my head still foggy and craving a cigarette.

"Hello?"I call out and a red-headed nurse enters. "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital," she tells me and I freeze at the accent she tries to hide. "You're safe now Agent Barnes."

I stand with my jaw clenched, not trusting the Russian woman. "I want Agent Peggy Carter to brief me on how I ended up here."

Her face remains expressionless, in a way that is trained. "She is on her way, would you like something to eat?"

"I would like to take a walk outside with a cigarette," I counter and she tries to give me a little smile, tries to play it off.

"I'll bring you a cigarette but you would be much more comfortable in bed, you suffered quite severe wounds."

I nod wordlessly, observing the room around me and the Russian woman. Am I still in Russia? Have I been taken back to Hydra? I remember the Russian nurses, and the American man speaking to this woman but little else.

"What is your name?"

"Natasha."

"Tell me Natasha, how long did you live in America to get such mastery of the accent, or rather how long did you sit memorising the lines to shit American movies in their classroom?"

She stills and looks at me, still playing her role. "Pardon Agent Barnes?"

"No matter how good you become at playing a role, those with a trained eye can always see through the bullshit," I say dropping my own American accent, recognising a fellow protege of the Red Room. "So before you press the panic button you are holding Natasha, tell me exactly where I am and who you work for."

She tries to hide her uncomfortable demeanor. "You are in New York and I work for the United States Government."

"Then why was I brought here in restraints and being held under surveillance?" I ask eyeing the bug behind the radio. "I am a citizen of this country, a soldier."

"You are not being held-"

"Is that so?" I ask walking over to the fake window, putting my finger against the reflective glass and know I'm being watched through it. "I trusted the men I fought beside with my life, but this government, I was always their property. First the Red Rooms, then Hydra's, then theirs's. So whose am I now?"

"Agent Barnes-"

In a split second I've grabbed the radio and thrown it at Natasha's head, and just as I predicted she reacts with expert agility in avoiding it, her very movements trained and precise, just as mine are. I succeed in drawing in a squadron of armed guards, the first one to reach for me I have on the ground with his gun in my hands in seconds. A gun which is then pressed to the soft skin under Natasha's jaw, who I have by the hair of her scalp with her legs kicked out from under her.

"Give me the name of your commander before I kill her."

Just then a man bursts into the room with his hands held high. "Ada put the gun down!"

His voice leaves me in a state of pure shock, and I stare into his eyes. The eyes of a man I thought I would never see again.

"Steve?"

But he does not look quite as happy to see me. "Ada, Natasha is my friend, she is not your enemy. None of these people are your enemy. Put the gun down and I will explain everything."

I hesitate, reading his eyes, his voice, everything to make sure it is truly him and not some trick by Hydra. "Tell me something only Steve Rogers would know."

"Bucky proposed on Christmas 1944, you eloped the next day," he tells me and I swallow hard at his name. "You dragged Peggy and I from the barracks to the closest courthouse in Brooklyn. Bucky being Bucky was that excited he forgot all about the rings, so you exchanged your dog tags instead. You knew the Colonel would take him off the team if he knew about the two of you, so you told him it was easier to hide than a wedding ring."

Hand in hand we ran through the streets of Brooklyn him in his dress uniform and me in a flouncy white dress with Peggy and Steve chasing after us, the city still revelling in the New Year.

When we finally entered the courthouse we were laughing like kids, with all the grief and weight of the war off our shoulders, even if it was just for a day.

"How may I help you?" the judge asked, and I looked at Bucky who wore the biggest grin on his face with his arm around my waist and hair dishevelled.

"Can you marry us?"

Minutes later we stood by the altar before the judge.

"Did you bring the rings?" he asked.

Bucky and I shared a moment of realisation, neither of us having thought that far ahead, and he begins stammering. "I-, we don't-"

"No, we have something better," I said pulling out my dog tags from the inside of my shirt. "Besides, the Colonel would have our heads if we walked back onto base with wedding rings."

He grinned as he pulled his own free. "Still, there'd be no better reason to be charged with insubordination."

I laughed as I pulled my second tag off and watch as he does the same, giving them to Peggy and Steve to hold as I took Bucky's hands.

"We stand here today to witness the union of a man and a woman, soldiers who have found joy within one another in this time of war. Do the witnesses present find any reason why these two should not be wed?"

I looked at Peggy knowing she certainly had a few reasons why the United States Govermnent would certainly disagree but her and Steve stood together smiling for us. I watched Bucky give Steve his own little look, his partner in now quite literally crime since I signed those damn papers a year ago to be allowed in the field, the one's that forbade me marrying or bearing children while in service.

"Very well," the judge said, no doubt no stranger to soldiers eloping. "Marriage is a commitment that is only broken by death, when one faces death almost every day it is a concept that is confronting, as it should be, it is a duty that surpasses all others. A duty to your spouse to love them through sickness and in health, to stay devoted despite forces that may attempt to separate you for there will be no deeper devotion than that found within this union and I pray you may find solace in one another through the battles that come."

I looked into Bucky's eyes and knew that he would be by my side for the battles ahead, by my side on the dark nights where the past and future alike would haunt us. Through all the doubts and fear, he was my certainty. To hell and back.

"Adelina Viktoria Morgan and James Buchanan Barnes, do you present yourselves willingly and of your own accord to be joined in marriage?"

"We do," we said, our eyes never leaving one another's.

"Will you promise to care for each other in the joys and sorrows of life, come what may, and be forever devoted to one another?"

It was impossible to keep the smiles from our faces. "We do."

"Then please look upon one another to share your vows and exchange your rings, or rather their substitutes."

Bucky gave me a reassuring nod and I extended my hand to Peggy who placed my dog tag in my hand.

"I, Adelina Viktoria Morgan, take you, James Buchanan Barnes, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part," I swore as I placed my dog tag around his neck, letting it fall beside his. "I will love and honour you all the days of my life."

Bucky reached out to Steve for his own tag, yet there might as well have been no one else, only us.

"I, James Buchanan Barnes, take you, Adelina Viktoria Morgan, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." He stroked my cheek before he attached his dog tag to the chain around my neck. "I will love and honour you all the days of my life."

He took my hands in his and kissed them as the judge said his final words.

"And so now by the power vested in me it is my honour and delight to declare you husband and wife. Mr Barnes, you may now kiss-"

His lips were on mine before the judge could even finish, his hands tight around my waist as he lifted me up and my arms twined around his neck. I smiled against his lips, my heart feeling as though it might collapse from the weight of the love I bore him.

"I love you James Barnes."

"And I love you Ada Barnes," he swore, peppering my face with kisses, and murmured against my lips. "It's you and me sweetheart, to hell and back."

"To hell and back," I repeated, our own vow.

Neither of us knew just how far we would take that promise.

I touch the dog tags around my neck and lower the gun, staring at Steve in utter disbelief, but I still don't let the woman go.

"How the hell are you alive?"

"Captain, would you like us to bring in restraints?" a guard asks him and immediately I raise the gun to which Steve steps between us, physically moving my arm to let Natasha go and takes the gun from my hand.

"Everyone out," he orders and from the looks the guards wear I know there is something I don't know. Steve holds out a cigarette and a lighter to me. "You'll want to sit down for this."

Yet I remain standing as the guards file out of the room, with Natasha closing the door behind her, leaving us in as much secrecy as they would give us.

"You crashed into the ocean," I whisper hoarsely. "How are you alive?'

"I'll explain everything I swear," he says, and I've never seen him so nervous. "But Ada I promise you are safe here, we are in New York, you aren't in Russia anymore. These guards are the government, not Hydra."

"They put a Russian spy in here with me, the hell am I meant to think?" I say through gritted teeth. "You know what things are like, even if it wasn't Hydra who had me you know we can't trust Stalin, you know he'd kill to get his hands on the Red Widow, I mean this entire government thinks I'm a bloody soviet anyways."

Something in his face changes and I watch the adams apple bop up and down as he swallows hard and he puts a hand on my shoulder. "Ada, you really need to sit down."

"What's happened, what don't I know?" I ask fearfully and he doesn't answer. "Did the Soviets break the peace? Did Hydra-"

I trail off as he shakes his head and he guides me onto the edge of the bed and bends down in front of me with a heavy expression.

There's a pit in my stomach as he asks "What is the last thing you remember?"

And only then do I try to remember, only then I'm able to try, but it's all so blurred. "You were dead, you and-" I trail off and can't breathe as I touch the second set of dog tags around my neck. "James."

Steve nods with a hand on my shoulder, tears in his own eyes. "He died not long before the war ended."

"No," I say suddenly standing, racking my brain for answers. "No, I went - I went looking for him."

I touch the dog tags around my neck, his dog tags, and begin hyperventilating. "I found his body Steve, I found his arm, it was severed."

He grabs me gently and tries to calm me. "Whatever you found he's gone, he's at peace now, that's what matters. You mourned him, you just can't remember things right now."

Yet the memories keep rushing back to me. "The rest of his body was missing. All that was left was his arm." I turn away from Steve, a shaking mess. "Then I let Hydra find me, oh god."

The guards stood dead at my feet, except for one.

"I swear, I don't know anything!"

I held his own gun to his head, feeling no remorse. "Where is James Barnes?"

"I don't-"

I slammed the butt of the gun against his nose and felt the crack. "Where is he!"

"James Barnes is dead. You will only find the Winter Soldier." Before I could react he shoved a cyanide pill down his throat with two last words. "Hail Hydra."

As he collapsed muffled screams filled the air from down the hall, and I heard those same words I hadn't heard in years.

"Longing, rusted, seventeen."

With my gun raised I carefully stepped through the bodies I left in my wake towards the end of the hall, to the door that stood there.

"Daybreak, furnace, nine, benign."

More screams followed and I peered through the glass of the heavy door and saw a shirtless man restrained down, his head clamped in a device, and screaming as though his lungs could give away at any moment, but they wouldn't, because he was built to withstand their torture. And in my deepest horror my worst fears came true as I recognised the chest I had kissed so fondly, the chest I had laid my head upon to sleep every night for the past months.

As I recognised the man I loved.

James.

"Homecoming, one, freight car."

My darkest instincts kicked in as I reached into my jacket and pulled free a grenade with one purpose.

"To hell and back," I whispered as I stepped away from the door and let the grenade roll.

The blast failed to knock me back as it blew the door clean off its hinges, and with cold precision I walked in and gunned down every last man in that room without mercy, without remorse.

Only when the last bullet case hit the ground did my emotions return to me as I ran to my husband and clutched his face between my hands.

"James, it's me," I told him as I removed the device clamped to his head, one I was far too familiar with, and in horror saw the metal arm where his own should have been. Yet I set my jaw and kept moving, leaving no time to stop and look further as I reached for the restraints. "We're going home."

I released the restraints only to feel a metal hand wrap around my throat. I didn't have a moment to fight before I was lifted up and slammed onto the table he was strapped to only a moment ago. "James!" I gasped and finally looked into his eyes, only to find a stranger staring back at me as he buried a knife in my gut.

And I choked out the words they had tried to use against me so long ago."Longing, rusted, seventeen." He slams my head against the hard metal so hard I swear I hear a crack. "Daybreak, furnace, nine, benign." The pressure on my windpipe was unbearable, and with seconds until he snapped my neck, with no choice but death, I pulled the knife from my gut and buried it in his back. He collapsed on me just long enough I could whisper the final words. "Homecoming, one, freight car."

He stilled and released me, stumbling backwards while I slid to the floor gasping for air, one hand clutching my throat and the other my gut. He fell to his knees at my feet with horror in his eyes unlike any I've ever seen.

"Ada," he breathed in pure horror at the blood spilling from me as I gasped for breath. "Ada I-"

"That wasn't you," I whispered hoarsely, remembering the scientist's words, remembering what they had tried to do to me and looked at the metal arm he wielded as a weapon. "That was the winter soldier."

He pulled me into his lap, shaking as his hand replaced mine covering the wound, only for me to reach for the knife in his back, to check how much blood he was losing and made the immediate consensus I was in far greater peril.

In all the time I knew him, in all the battles we fought together, I had never seen him so terrified, so horrified. "The bleeding, it's not stopping."

"It will," I croaked and gave him one order as I pressed a gun into his hand, just as I had the night we met."On your feet soldier."

"He's alive!" I whisper shaking Steve, my voice raising. "I need to go back!"

"Ada, for once in your life you need to listen to me!"

"No Cap, you listen to me!" I scream in his face, more unhinged than I've ever been. "They're torturing him, they're-!"

"He's dead!"

"Hydra found him before I did!" I yell in Steve's face. "But I found him. He's the reason I had a knife in my gut, Steve, we need to save him, please."

Tears fill his eyes and no words come out of his mouth, and it dawns on me that something truly terrible has happened.

"Ada?" he panicked as he carried me through the base, running through the cold halls, but there were guards at every corner. "Lina stay with me!"

I looked at the love of my life and touched the wound in my abdomen, felt the hot blood pouring from it. "It's okay, I'm okay."

"That's bullshit and we both know it," he said adjusting his hold on me. "We need to get the hell out of here."

Guards appeared from around the corner and immediately began running with weapons raised, Bucky ducked into the closest room and slammed the door shut behind us, putting me down so he could barricade it.

I watched him, knife still in his back, moving with such desperation and for the first time in my life had I felt such pure hopelessness.

"James," I breathed as I felt myself slipping. "I don't think we're making it out of here alive."

"One of us is and it has to be you," he said searching for any sort of medical equipment but finding nothing but broken test tubes.

"We should have stayed in Brooklyn," I whispered and he turned to me with a sad laugh, brushing the hair out of my face.

"We should have," he said, trembling with tears. "You shouldn't have come here."

"I had nothing left to lose," I quaked and smiled sadly. "We always said to hell and back didn't we?"

"Ada listen to me," he said grasping my face between his bloody hands. "You're gonna get out of here and go home to Brooklyn okay, you're going to marry a good guy and have kids and have a life where you don't have to be a weapon. You hear me?"

"You listen to me, my life didn't start until I met you James," I cried, feeling myself slipping. "And it will end with you."

They began banging at the door, trying to break through and he looked at me, at the blood spilling from me that stains his hands. "I'm not going to let them make me a monster."

And in that moment we both knew there was only one way out.  He pressed the gun into my hands and I kissed him hard, tears staining both our cheeks.

"To hell and back," I whispered, clutching the pistol between my shaking hands.

"To hell and back," he repeated as he guided the barrel of the gun to his head.

As the door threatened to give way I pulled his face close to mine, my eyes never leaving his as I pulled the trigger yet there was only a click. His eyes widened and we both realised we were out of bullets.

Then we heard the words over the speakers. Those damn words.

"Longing, rusted, seventeen." He already began to change, and looked to the door and back to me.

"James," I quaked and he looked at me as he pulled the knife from his back and tossed it at my feet.

"I'm not going to let them make me a monster," he swore to me. "I'm not going to kill you."

"James please," I whispered, terrified of the man he was becoming. "Just look at me, look at me baby."

"Daybreak, furnace."

"Take the knife," he said, already distancing himself from me, groaning in pain. "Please, don't let me kill you."

I was crying, we were both crying.

"Nine, benign."

"I know you can do it," he said, the only person in this world who truly knew what I could do, why I was given the name Red Widow. "Please."

And I saw a man begging for me to take me out of his misery and so I grasped the knife in my hand, unable to move I beckoned him towards me. He fell to his knees, pure fear in his eyes, fear of what he was becoming.

I kissed him hard and like a countdown the words rung through the air.

"Homecoming, one, freight car."

And I thrust the knife into his chest, but at the last moment I diverted my aim downwards, away from his heart. No more tears fell as I pulled away and looked the Winter Soldier in the eye.

And the voice over the speakers gave one command.

"Kill her."

I knew someday, some part of him would remember this, and so I whispered "It's okay."

As he lifted me up by the throat the door blew off its hinges, throwing him off balance and slamming me into a cylinder. I looked into his eyes as my vision finally started to go black and then bullets rained down on us.

The last thing I saw was him being torn from me and the door of the cylinder being slammed shut. I looked into my mothers eyes, the first of us widows, and she only had two words for me as ice filled the inside of the chamber and the walls came tumbling down.

"Hail Hydra."

I fall to the ground, clutching at the tags around my neck. "He was still alive," I whisper in vain. "He could have survived, he could-"

And he sat beside me as cold tears wet my cheeks. "Even if there was a chance he survived whatever happened in that base, he's been gone for a long time." I look at him in confusion and he finally tells me the truth. "He's been gone for almost seventy years." I look at him, for the first time in my life at a true loss for words. "I should make you some tea, this will be a very long story."

[just-another-romantic]

Shambles of Memories

Chapter Four : Red Ledger

Soulmate AU : A person’s dreams are their soulmate’s memories. 

Pairing : Winter Soldier x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Series Summary : Cold, darkness, and iron doors. All Morana Pierce has known all of her life. Her duty as head nurse to the infamous Winter Soldier, is her only occupation at a compound in the middle of a Siberian tundra. The Asset looks familiar, and feels like home to her. She makes him remember things he’s not supposed to know. And neither of them can figure out why.

Warnings : nightmare sequence (mentions of blood and guns), mentions of needles, panic attack, angst city

Author’s Note : hi friends! so this chapter is a bit short, but with a lot happening! get used to it, because the story is really going to pick up these next few parts! i hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as i have enjoyed writing this :) all of the luv to yall 

*Conversations in Russian are italicized !

**Liebling means darling in German !

Series Masterlist // Previous // Next

Heavy boots thudded across the concrete floor, the footsteps echoing throughout the empty warehouse. Quivering breath came out in frozen clouds. It was silent. Too silent. Looking down, her hands were not her own. One, gloved in leather, the other a stunning metallic silver. She held a gun in her right.

Wind blew in through the smashed windows, the icy air stinging her exposed skin. Her eyes were dry, and she could imagine they were bloodshot and irritated from the cold. Tiny particles of ice sat in the dark eyelashes. Quiet as a shadow, she cleared the floor she was on, the ground level, and worked her way up towards the roof. The footsteps were not her own, nor the body she possessed, but came from above her, thundering like a brewing storm. Her own were silent, precisely placed to not make a single noise.

Each level she climbed flew by in a flash of silver, grey, and black, and the dark blue of the night sky was a vast and empty canvas. All was silent, except the soft inhale and exhale of her lungs. Her heartbeat thudded in her ears, and she couldn’t help but wonder if the enemy could hear it too.

She lingered at the iron door on the final level, EXIT written in Ukrainian, painted red and bold against the grey of the room. Her eyes strained to even see it. The door itself was rusted, weathered and eroded from time and neglect.

Though the hinge was rusted over, with a firm kick, the door swung open in one try, falling off of the joint of the wall and landing onto the snow covered roof with a bang. A man was there, covered head to toe in layers to protect himself from cold. Begging for his life. On his knees. Crying. His eyes were dark like iron ore. His talk was rushed, stuttering. A blubbering, pathetic mess. Praying to a God that could not save him. And even in that moment, she, and the mind of the person she was occupying knew one cannot stop Death. 

A gunshot to the stranger’s chest sounded throughout the night. Blood. So much blood. Painting the floor. Painting her face. The gloved hand came up to wipe it, but to no avail. It’s in her eye. Suffocating, she can’t wipe it off, its in her eyes now, and she’s blinded by red. All she can see is red. There’s some in her mouth, the bitter copper burning on her tongue. She’s drowning in it. In red, red

- RED

Morana’s eyes snapped open. Her hands came up to wipe her mouth, the taste of the man’s blood still lingering on her lips. She must have bitten her tongue in her sleep. Her breathing was frenzied, and the sheets were damp with the cold sweat of her dream.

4:17. The numbers stared at her from her alarm clock in a neon red color, taunting her with the same hue of the mans blood. She blinked, trying to recollect her thoughts, but the blood was all she could remember. Shuddering, Morana reached into the darkness and grabbed at the string to turn on her lamp. Her room was alive in an instant, and she blinked to adjust to the change of light. Nothing could hurt her when the shadows were away. Nothing - right? 

Her bare feet hit the concrete floor, cold. Glancing around her room, her eyes flitted to the mirror that sat against the wall. Her reflection startled her, she didn’t even look like herself. The white nightgown hung loosely off of her gangly form, her skin paled. She saw the circles under her eyes and the sagging wrinkles on her cheeks and forehead. The blemishes, the patchy skin from a disturbed sleep. Matted hair falling out of a bun. Her face was hot, even though she was shivering. Her eyes were haunted, surely not her own. 

Gingerly, the girl lifted a hand, to touch the roundness of her cheek, half expecting the reflection to not copy her and instead remain motionless. But it did, the girl in the mirror copied the motions, stroking the pads of her fingertips alongside her cheekbones, the lines of her jaw and nose.

What had she even dreamt about? Morana could barely remember it already.

The woman must of stared at that mirror for hours, and a part of her felt like something else was staring back.

✪ ✪ ✪

A soft knock on her door stirred her from her thoughts, and it opened without an invitation. She watched Nigel emerge from behind the iron, his eyes glancing over her face in concern.

“Ana, you ok?” His voice was coated in a thick German accent, and a layer of concern. “It’s six. Almost time for breakfast.”

Rubbing her tired eyes, Morana’s glance went back to her clock, the numbers now reading 6:07. “Shit,” she muttered, rising from her seat and hastily gathering her clothes from the nearby drawer. Her hands were shaking, and there was no doubt in her mind that Nigel didn’t notice as well.

“Did you not sleep well?”

“You could say that.”

Niegel Nemec was a young soldier - Level Zeta - who begun working at the compound a little over six months ago. The bright-eyed boy was barely nineteen, with slight build, but the intelligence that rivaled the upper ranking scientists on Level 5. That’s how the two met, Nigel stepped in to help with a lab when she was facing a mental block regarding coding the program. With one glance at the computer, he had promised to fix it in twenty minutes max, but solved it like a jigsaw puzzle in ten. 

Ever since, Morana made it a priority to protect him, so she took him under her wing, even protected him from the cruelty of his general officer, none other than Brock Rumlow. Being as close to Brock as she was, Morana was able to pull a few strings, but made sure to never suggest that it was any more than a mentorship between the two, in fear of a hand of wrath coming down on them both in a fit of jealousy. 

It had happened more than once previously.

But the truth is, it wasn’t just a mentorship. Nigel looked up to Morana, admired her wits and her uncanny intelligence. He was always ready to lend a hand in the labs, and soon, Morana found herself a little less lonesome. She had lived twenty years in solitude behind iron walls, unless her father - who she rarely saw - and Brock - who was a shadow, always lurking around her - counted as company. 

Quickly, the mentorship turned into a companionship. Nigel got someone to confide in, a sister. And Morana was given a sense of purpose, a belonging, something in her life valuable to protect. A brother.

With Nigel waiting politely outside her door, Morana quickly threw on pants and a work shirt, promising herself to come back to her room later and get a few more hours of sleep. 

“I’m going to breakfast,” he called out from the hallway. 

“I’m coming! Wait up!”

Taking off in a slight jog, Morana managed to catch up to him. Though Nigel was younger than her, he was significantly taller, his long legs and large strides making it near impossible to beat him to the hall. “You ass.”

He chuckled, “I’m not the one who’s running late.”

Sighing, she rubbed her eyes in an attempt to conceal her embarrassment. Morana didn’t like to be out of routine, she had an appearance to keep up thanks to her status. “You know,” she started softly, as they approached the end of the hallway, pressing the upward arrow for the next elevator. “You know you didn’t have to wait on me.”

“Okay, but since when do I not?”

“Me being fifteen minutes late is a significant reason to leave without me.”

The elevator doors opened, and two officers got off, and Nigel saluted them, as did Morana. Once on, and the doors closed, the young soldier took her softly by the arm, forcing her to look up at him. “Ana, you know you don’t always have to have your shit together all the time, right?”

“Damn you. You can read me like a book.”

Laughing softly, Nigel released her, punching the two button, and the creaky old elevator whirred to life. “I mean it,” he said. “You deserve a break.”

Morana snorted sarcastically. “When your father is the commanding officer of a military base, there is no such thing as a ‘break’. I have a reputation to keep up.”

The floors dinged by. “Is he even on base?” Nigel asked.

Morana shook her head simply.

The coms sounded through the overhead speakers the moment they stepped off of the elevator. “All personnel on the ‘FIST’ project, report to Level 7, code red, code red.” The directions repeated once more, but Morana pivoted on the heel of her foot without having to be told twice, though she let slip a groan. Project FIST was the code name for the Winter Soldier’s mission debriefing, and code red meant mission gone bad, either with serious injuries or the Soldat untamable.

Morana hoped it was the former.

Grimacing, she looked towards her friend. “Rain check on going over the formulas for the project?”

Casually, Nigel shoved his hands in his pockets, eyes directed towards the floor to hide his lingering disappointment. “It’s fine, Ana, go do what you need.”

Her hand found his bicep, and she gave it a polite and kind squeeze. “I’ll find you after, yeah?”

Her back was already turned when he called out, “I’ll bring you breakfast!”

✪ ✪ ✪

By the time she got to Level 7, she could hear shouting from outside of the doors, and when she entered, it was chaos. Men in white coats and military uniforms alike shouting back and forth from the sides of the room, while the Asset stood in the middle, cowering and bleeding on the floor. 

His metal hand was applying pressure to the bullet wound on his right bicep, the red gushing between the plates of his fingers. He was grimacing, in obvious pain, and paleing. He looked like he could topple over at any given moment.

“Gentlemen!” The men’s heads snapped up at the volume of Morana’s voice. “If you would kindly give me a few minutes to assess Soldat, I will have him ready for the debriefing.”

A man with beady eyes and pursed lips cursed out in German before ordering the remaining men out of the room. Pausing, the man turned back to her, barking out, “Make it quick, girl.” 

Morana ignored him, and once the metal doors locked shut, she immediately went about the room, gathering surgical supplies from various storage containers on shelves. She called out from over her shoulder, “At ease, Soldat. You need to take a seat before you bleed out on my floor.”

As she crouched down to open a cabinet, she heard the dull thud and crackling of paper from her medical table, and barely missed the pained hiss that passed his lips. 

When she turned back around, the Soldier’s eyes, the only part of him not covered in tactical gear, were unfocused, the sharp and steel blue clouded. He was losing blood, and quickly.

Wordlessly, Morana went to work, her hands going to the various clasps and buckles of his stealth suit to free him of the leather. A grunt of protest worked it’s way from the depths of his throat and she shushed him, and to his surprise it was not in the belittling way he was used to. It was kind, and gentle, like a mother calming a sleepless child.

For whatever reason, the nurse had a calming effect on him. It was like stepping into the warmth of a room after being outside in the cold for too long. The more he was near her, the more he remembered - the more his heart ached. He didn’t know how or why he felt this way, but if there was anything he knew, his handlers didn’t like him remembering. They didn’t want their fist soiled by a conscience. But when you have spent the majority of your life surrounded by sharp edges and steel, you can’t help but notice the soft, bright, and pure things that occasionally appear.

He brushed it off - or tried too.

But at one point of preparation, she made a wrong move - too sudden, or too harsh. Her right wrist was caught by his metal hand in an instant, and forced behind her back. Her body turned with the movement if her arm. Her back was turned to him, the backs of her thighs pressed against the edge of the examination table. Though she tried not to, Morana winced.

The Soldier let go immediately, his heart stopping in his chest. When she turned back around, he looked so beaten it made her heart clench; he was expecting a raised hand, a punishment. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s okay, Soldier.” She reached for his hand. He withdrew out of instinct. His breathing was frenzied, he had the appearance of a caged animal, wild and terrified. His eyes said all he could not verbally. Slowly, she knelt to his eye level, whispering, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know.” His voice was barely a murmur. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m not afraid of you.”

He met her eyes. “You should be.”

Cautiously, Morana reached for his flesh hand, and when he did not protest, she enclosed it around her own. His hand nearly engulfed hers completely. The Soldier eyed her warily as she trailed her fingertips over the hills and valleys of his knuckles, scraped and bruised from a mission gone south. His hand was warm, grimy from blood and dirt, but his callouses felt impossibly soft against her own hand. 

He watched as Morana uncurled his fingers from around her own, his palm now bare before her, and looked on in wonder as she brought it to her mouth and pressed a kiss into its center. And miraculously, she allowed his hand to cup the curve of her cheek, his thumb grazing over her cheekbone. He all but moaned at the touch.

The girl wondered when was the last time the Asset had been handled with care such as this. When was the last time he had been touched this softly, without fear of being struck in punishment. She took his metal hand away from where it pressed against his wound, and kissed it’s palm too. His blood tasted bitter against her lips, but yet she smiled at him.

“Can’t you see,” she asked, “that I have nothing to be fearful of?”

He nodded. 

“May I help you remove your suit?” 

Again, another nod.

With that, the pair snapped out of their dreamlike stance, and Morana’s hands went once more to the clasps of his gear, and he allowed her to strip him of the leather and hollisters. Gently, she helped his injured arm out of the vest, and undid the buckles at his jaw to take off his mask. 

His lips were paled and chapped, and Morana ushered him to lay back on the table. She brought the stool to his bedside, and the tray she used propped in her lap. As she opened a pair of sterile forceps, she glanced at him. 

“This might hurt, Soldier,” she warned lowly.

In response, he merely shrugged. 

The bullet wound was not the worst the young woman had seen. It was a clean shot through Soldat’s bicep, barely missing the humerus and major arteries. As she worked to suture her patient, he watched her, silent and curious. She was just about to tie off the final stitch when he spoke up.

“Why are you not afraid of me?” He asked.

She didn’t look up, but he watched as she pursed her lips in concentration as she drove the needle through his skin. “’Cause I’ve known you my whole life...seems like it at least.”

His brow cocked slightly. “I’ve known you?”

Morana glanced up. “Do you remember what I told you the last pre-mission check up?”

Soldat’s lips pressed into a faint, tight lipped smile. “I used to teach you Russian.”

At that moment, the young girl couldn’t help the bubbling laughter that slipped her lips. Her giggles were joyous, and the Soldier was enraptured by it. It was soft and sweet, the most wonderful music he had ever heard. 

She lived for these small moments with Soldat. The moments when he recognized her, or remembered past instances together, the memories from a golden era, and she could forget, for just a moment. It was like being reunited with a long-lost friend. Blame it all she could on knowing him since a child, their bond felt something ancient - she must have known him long before they ever met.

Once her laughter died down, Soldat spoke up once more. “I don’t remember much,” he said, “but if I remember anything, I remember you.”

The last suture was tied. Reaching over to a nearby tray, she grabbed an alcohol swab, and went to wipe off the remaining blood that trailed down his arm. “You were the only friend I had for a very long time, Soldier.”

He looked stunned. “Friend?” The word felt foreign on his tongue.

Morana’s eyes met his shyly. “That’s what I considered you, yes.”

Soldat’s head cocked at her. “I used to call you Ana.”

“And that’s what all of my friends call me.”

Once the disinfectant pad was thoroughly soiled, the nurse wadded it up and tossed it in a trash bin to her right. The Soldier watched the way she moved, with grace and poise. Her face seemed to be carved out of ivory, the curves and edges of her face accentuated under the harsh lighting of the room. She was a wonder. He needed to know more.

“Tell me more.” It was a plead, his voiced laced in urgency.

Morana smiled at him, and the Soldier swore it was if a thousand suns shone down upon him.

“Okay,” she said.

✪ ✪ ✪

After the successful post-mission procedure, Morana laid on her bed of her bunker, eating the breakfast Nigel, bless him, snuck her. It was far past breakfast hour, nine oclock, but with one look at the girl, he knew she couldn’t wait til lunch.

So here the two sat, Nigel with a yellowed notepad on the floor, working a formula they had been stuck on for weeks now. He ran a hand through his blonde locks and groaned.

“You’re biting your pencil again,” Morana noted through a mouth full of scrambled eggs.

“Shush it, Ana.”

“Have you considered it as a combustion reaction?”

The German boy groaned, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “Of course I did!” he exclaimed. “I’m not an idiot!”

She swallowed her bite before taking a sip of orange juice from the bottle that sat on her bedside table. “I never said you were,” she said afterward. “You can just be a bit dull sometimes.”

The pencil that was once in Nigel’s hand whizzed past the girl’s ear, barely missing her head. 

“You’re the dull one, Ana,” he threw back jokingly. “But seriously are you okay?”

Morana tossed back the pencil. “What? Do I not look like the epitome of health?”

“You look like shit,” he stated, and her face fell. “I’m not joking. When was the last time you slept through the night?”

The young girl got up from her bed and walked towards her desk, fiddling with the various journals and books. “I’ve just been having these really bad nightmares lately,” she admitted quietly, fingering through a worn copy of On the Origin of Species. Page 147 was bookmarked, something about fish. Her brows furrowed, and she placed the book back on it’s original spot on the bookshelf before turning back to Nigel, arms crossed.

“They’re back again?”

Morana pressed her fingers to her temple in dire hope it would release the oncoming tension. “Yes, but you know how they are. They come and go. Sometimes for weeks, sometimes for months. I’m fine -”

Nigel stood. “No your not,” he interrupted, going towards her. His hands placed themselves firmly on her shoulders, and he forced her to look at him. “This has been going on for years now, from what you’ve told me? Don’t you think you should tell someone? Your father-”

A string snapped in her heart, and she went cold. “No!” She yelped, and her friend flinched at the sudden volume. Her heart rattled in her chest, and she shuddered at the prospect. “No,” she said again, quieter. “No, no, no, I can’t - I could never, I - not again - no, Nigel he can’t know!” Morana grabbed his hands, and pleaded through tearfilled eyes. “Please don’t tell him!”

A sob ripped it’s way through her throat, and the boy was quick to envelope her in a hug, and he whispered sweet nothings into her hair. She shook in his arms. 

“Ana, Ana - listen to me it’s okay,” he breathed in a failed attempt to console her.

“You can’t tell him Nigel! Promise me you won’t,” she choked out. She removed her head from the crook of his neck and looked up at him, eyes panicked and frenzied. She couldn’t breathe, her airway was closing up.

Morana thought back to the dream that woke her in the early hours of the day, and recalled the taste of blood, how it sat in the back of her throat, suffocating her like an invisible noose. She recalled the red, the burning, and half of it she couldn’t remember from the nightmare, but it felt as if her brain was on fire. The flames licked at her neck and tongue, and she was screaming.

Nigel begged her to quiet down - he gathered her in his arms and hushed her. He sang to her the same German song his mother sang to him as a little boy, before the war and the Union capturing everyone he ever held dear. He spoke to her softly, told her that she was safe, that nothing would ever happen to her, as long as he lived.

Because that’s what you do when you love someone. 

Her body went numb. She was as good as a ragdoll, held up in his arms. Her mouth kept muttering, though her mind had blanked out. Her pleas became a mantra, and all he could do was pray that the lull of the melody would comfort her.

After a few verses and chorus’ of the children’s song, Morana’s muttering became coherent once more. “Please, don’t tell him,” she begged in a whisper.

“Liebling, I’ve spoken maybe two words to the man. I’m not classified to even be in the same room as him on a daily basis, I won’t tell. I promise.”

Morana cried out a thank you, and the two sank to the floor, the younger consoleing the older. When she caught her breath, he did not question her further, and brushed off her numerous apologies of her breakdown. He did not ask questions, and for that, she was thankful.

In truth, Morana could not tell what sent the crying spell off. Something in her deep subconscious warned against telling her father anything regarding her dreams. The mere idea of it brought goosebumps to her skin and a sweat down her back. 

Nigel helped Morana up, and they went their way to the labs on Level 5 in silence. The uncomfortable feeling would loom over them like a dark cloud for the rest of the day. They didn’t speak of the incident again.

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