#wish I had more experience with sad things because I would love to write something that just breaks people in the best of ways

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

hey did you guys ever think what would happen when Diavolo and Mc had a child together? ever imagined the fear he has of them dying during childbirth and him despites his best efforts hating his child for only this simple thing they had nothing to do with just like his father did? or him not knowing how a father has to act because his refused to even try to love him for something he had not control over? or the fact he mostly likely never had a friend who just wanted to get to known Diavolo and not just the Prince of the Devildom and he fears the same would happen to his child? because I do now :,)

[lovelettersfromluna]

Supercut

Summary: “In my head, I play a supercut of us.”

an: halfway through writing this I decided that this isn't technically the finale hehe, more of cam girl!Ellie come, this is just the end of them being stupid. mwah mwah love you all more than you know.

Warnings: SMUT!! 18+, MDNI, angst, cam girl!ellie, Ellie is a real idiot in this one tbh, arguing, hurt/eventual comfort, toxic!Ellie, tribbing, making out, pet names, this one is a little short im sorry, lmk if I missed anything!!!

Read part 1 here, and part 2 here!

You know that gross feeling you get whenever you look back at old pictures or videos? You know, the one that you feel at the pit of your stomach, and it makes you really happy but also really sad? What's that called again?

Oh, right. Its melancholy

It's that feeling where you have a specific memory, and you know that no matter what, that time is gone. You can't replicate it, and the only place that it will live is in the confides of your own mind

And it sucks, because you don't even know when those moments are going to be made. There's no warning in your brain that the day you have planned is going to be so impactful to your life, that you will constantly chase that feeling, trying to replicate what it was that made that time so blissful so that you can feel that same warmth again.

You don't even get the chance to savor it while it lasts.

It almost makes you feel like you never wanted those times to happen to begin with, because you would have been fine without them. Sacrifice one of the times of your life so that you wouldn't have to spend countless nights laying in bed, only hoping that you will experience something that can even come close to how it all felt in the past.

Most of the time, it's easy to simply look back at those memories, feel that disgusting mixture of happiness and sadness, and then move on.

But for some god awful reason, you can't seem to do that this time.

This time, it lingers. It sits there, knocking at your chest, demanding to be acknowledged, to have all of your undivided attention, giving you no choice but to think about how fucked up this all is, how all of this was a complete and utter mistake, and how you have no way in taking it back.

It makes you wish time travel was real, yearning for some mad scientist to come out and say 'look everyone! you can reverse the mistakes you've made in the past!'.

But that doesn't happen, and you have no choice but to live with the icky feeling that settles at the pit of your stomach, and refuses to go away.

You weren't entirely sure what would happen after that night with Ellie, the night that she laid her weight on top of you, fucking you into her mattress over and over again, whispering the sweetest words into the nape of your neck, holding you the entire night through once you were finished, silence overcoming the space as you both fell into a blissful sleep.

It was hard to really tell where you both stood, but you weren't an idiot.

You knew, that you and Ellie had made love that night.

It was truly like nothing you had ever experienced. It was like you were constantly in that delicious state before sleep, where the world is soft, and everything is so comfortable right before you reach the point of unconsciousness, and everything feels so utterly perfect.

That's what it felt like, and you knew that from the moment Ellie had pulled you against her chest, and pressed a soft kiss to your head before you both fell asleep.

It happened, but God....you really wished it hadn't.

Because now? Things were so much fucking worse.

The feeling Ellie gave you scared you, and it made the ugliest thoughts fill your head when you woke up. You felt wrong, the skin on your body feeling filthy for doing something so intimate with her, with your roommate. You felt like you were taking something that wasn't yours, something that was never meant for you in that way.

So you ran.

Not far, of course. You were lucky enough to wake up before Ellie, gently peeling yourself from her body, your stomach sinking whenever she mumbled something gently in her sleep, her hands mindlessly reaching for your body before she fell back into her deep slumber.

You stood over her for a moment, watching as her eyes flickered in her sleep, lips parted as she snored gently. The feeling you had when you watched her sleep scared you, because you felt...like you wanted to stay with her, protect her, hold her in your arms and ignore the reality of how much this was fucking with your head, ignore the fact that she had simply wanted help with her work.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

You inhaled deeply before you left her room, closing her door gently before you quickly went to your bedroom, tugged on a t shirt and jeans before you grabbed your jacket and left the apartment.

You stayed out in the city all day, that day. You were like a ghost, trying to sort out the feelings that were settling in your chest, opting to simply ignore them instead. You made sure to leave your phone at home, knowing any texts from Ellie wouldn't do you any good with how you were feeling.

You didn't return home until later that afternoon, the sun setting, slowly casting the familiar darkness of night onto the city that you had come to know. You wished you could stay out longer, avoid the situation more, but it was only gettin colder, and you knew you had to go back to your apartment sooner or later.

When you got there, you were greeted by silence. You don't even hear Ellie's usual music playing from inside her room. You frowned softly, looking around a bit for any signs of the girl there. You looked down, finding that her leather jacket and helmet weren't where they usually were.

Ellie had left too.

You should've been happy at that, giving you even more time away from the girl than planned, yet you can't ignore the ugly tinge of sadness and annoyance that lingers at the back of your throat at the thought of here simply...leaving.

When you got to your room, you quickly grabbed your phone, wishfully thinking that there would be a string of messages from your roommate, asking you where you've gone, and if everything is okay between you both.

But when you unlock your phone, there's nothing there.

Not a single call, or a single text.

And you suddenly realized, that great minds think alike.

So, that's how things go with you and Ellie after that. There isn't a grand scene of love, where you both confess that you had both felt that way from the moment you set eyes on each other, there isn't a happily ever after where you become her girl, and she becomes yours. There isn't any of that, you two simply go from being friends, to barely being roommates.

You guys never speak about it. There's never a conversation that happens to even clear the air, pretending as though that night in her bedroom never happened.

There's a sense of hostility that follows after all of it happens, because Ellie won't even fucking look at you now, let alone stand in the same room as you. If you're in the living room, she's in her bedroom, and if you're in the kitchen, she leaves the apartment to go eat somewhere else.

It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, because you can practically feel the hatred she has for you radiating off of her body whenever she's around, and it's a shock to you that you two are still even living together. The Ellie that would once sit in the living room with you, practically tugging your body to sit on her lap, has succumb to someone who barely even exists to you anymore.

And it doesn't even end there.

Ellie never really had girls in and out of the apartment before, even before you and her started filming and having sex. She was pretty strict about letting others into her space, only ever bringing around girls she was dating long term, or her designated filming partner. You never had a problem with it, letting Ellie know time and time again that the place was half hers, and she could bring whoever she wanted.

But that seemingly changed after you and her happened.

Because suddenly, there's a different girl at your apartment every night, and Ellie is fucking them ten different ways into the next month.

And it always happens to be on the nights before you have to wake up early to go in and open the record store.

She becomes relentless.

You first noticed it happening when she breezed past you on a Friday night, clearly dressed up for a night out. You couldn't really ignore the way your core tightened at how fucking good she looked, the feeling quickly overshadowed by the way she yet again left the house as if you weren't sitting right there.

After getting yourself to bed for some much needed shut eye, you were rudely awakened by the sound of your front door slamming open, followed by the sound of tumbling and soft giggles..

Which then slowly turned into the sounds of Ellie fucking a girl in her bedroom that was directly across from yours.

And it kept going, night after night, the sound of Ellie pleasuring another woman was all that you were left with. Not even your headphones on full volume could drown out the banging of Ellies headboard against the wall.

You have never been a jealous person, especially when it came to Ellie and her sex life. However, after what happened between the both of you, and the very clear fact that Ellie was indeed doing it out of spite..

You really couldn't ignore the fire you felt at the pit of your stomach whenever you heard some random girl moaning out Ellie's name to the top of her fucking lungs.

It was then that you came to terms with the fact that enough was enough.

And you had to move out.

It wasn't long until you wouldn't leave your room.

You seriously couldn't stomach the way it felt, being ignored by Ellie, her constant avoidance a reminder of how much of a bad idea it was to agree to filming with her in the first place. If that wasn't enough, constantly seeing her leave the apartment to go meet up with another girl started to hurt even more.

And you really didn't want to face the truth behind that.

There was something unsettling that came with the feeling it gave you, because how could you go from not even batting an eyelash at Ellie walking out of her bedroom with Julia, to feeling tears prickle at the edge of your eyes every time you heard her fucking someone else across from your room.

Because it's cruel, and you know you were wrong to leave her the way you did, but she left too. You knew that what you did was wrong, but surely you didn't deserve all of this? And why would she even want to hurt you like this in the first place? Surely you were the only one that felt this ridiculous conflicting feeling that only brought you stress.

And yet, you only found new ways to torture yourself.

It happens one night after work, you're tired and all you want to do is peel off your clothes and hop into bed.

Opting to grab your laptop, wanting to watch some mindless video on the internet to lull you to sleep, you are suddenly faced with something that had been waiting to haunt you.

A link to one of your videos with Ellie was still on your browser.

She had sent it to you a while ago, wanting to show you how well it was doing, and all the positive feedback that it was receiving, you meant to watch it at the time, but never got around to it. Now, it was sitting there, collecting dust until you decided to open it.

And you knew you shouldn't have, because that chapter of your life has closed, and you intended to keep it fully closed.

But curiosity did kill the cat, didn't it?

You didn't think twice before opening it, the link quickly flashing across your screen and taking you to Ellie's page. The thumbnail is of the two of you, the last video you guys had filmed. Its you, straddling Ellie on her bed, her strong hands gripping your hips, probably forcing you to grind down on her lap.

You feel your core tighten at the sight of it.

You don't look at it much longer, or read the comments either, because you know they will all be asking where you've gone, and whether or not you were coming back.

Instead of closing your laptop and going to sleep like you should have, you kept scrolling through Ellies page. You come to find the usual, seeing that she had been live the past few nights, as well as posted a few videos for her viewers to catch up on, none of it out of the ordinary.

Something does catch your eye however.

Its a video that was posted a few nights ago, and you can barely make it out, but you can see a thumbnail of Ellies tattooed hand pushed between a girls thighs, doing what you can only assume to be fingering her.

And that girl is definitely not you.

She had found herself a new partner.

It’s no shock that she did. She’d been actively fucking other girls, someone in and out of your apartment almost every night, something that she had made sure to make very clear to you…

But there was just something about actually seeing it that hurt like hell

You slammed your laptop shut, a bit too hard, but you were suddenly filled with something foreign to you, something that you hardly felt for anyone.

Quickly grabbing you blankets and tugging them over your body, you squeezed your eyes shut to try and erase the image of Ellie with another girl from your brain, the image slowly tainting the deepest corners of your mind so that you won't ever be able to do just that.

You couldn't do this anymore.

Ellie was just as bad at talking about her feelings as you were.

Because the morning after you and her had sex, she wanted nothing more than to wake up with you, kiss you, hold you, move on from this agonizingly slow phase that you two were in, where she was allowed to do the things that she always wanted to do, just conditionally.

She wanted to wake up, and move forward whatever the fuck you and her were stuck in.

But you didn’t. You simply woke up before her, and left, leaving Ellie to feel like a fucking idiot.

Because maybe she read into the entire thing wrong, maybe you didn’t feel anything for her, maybe you really did only see her as your roommate and nothing more than that….

Maybe that look in your eye that she was sure she saw when she was fucking you, was all in her head.

So when you ran, she did too.

And soon, Ellie’s sadness turned into anger, and all she wanted to do, was hurt you the same way that you hurt her.

She wanted you to hear her with other girls, she wanted you to see her with other women on her streams, she wanted you to see what it was that you’d lost, what you’d stupidly lost when you decided to run away from her the morning after it all.

But maybe she’d taken it too far.

Because Ellie’s anger turned into something that she didn’t want, because no matter how much noise she made, how good she tried to look whenever she was getting ready to go out with some random girl, no matter what she did to make you jealous, you never batted an eyelash her way, you never once reacted to anything that she did that was directed at you for the sole purpose of getting your attention.

And not only did it further prove to Ellie that you didn’t give a fuck about her, but it also made her so much more frustrated with you.

Did you seriously not have a fucking soul? Could you not even acknowledge her? Hurt for her? Feel hurt by her? Why wasn’t it working? Why weren’t you…..why couldn’t you just…..

Why couldn’t you just fucking want her.

Ellie was truly at her last straw, because being with other women was something she already didn’t like doing, but it was slowly eating away at her, picking away at her insides and making her feel hollow inside, a shell of who she used to be when she was with you.

And when she didn’t think things could get any worse, she found you doing something she only saw in her nightmares.

She hadn’t really noticed it at first, but slowly, your belongings began to disappear from the apartment. Particularly in the living room.

Your stack of blankets would get smaller and smaller as the week went by, the dorky little figures you had littered around different shelves and the tv stand started to disappear too, little parts of you started leaving, one by one, and Ellie was too far up her own ass to even notice.

Maybe if she had, she could’ve convinced you to stay.

In all honesty? Ellie probably wouldn’t even have realized you were leaving until it was too late, the girl far too consumed in her little revenge streak to notice the slow but sure disappearance of you, the way the remnants of you slowly began to leave one by one.

It just so happened that on a day that you were packing up some of your boxes, you had left your door cracked open, thinking that Ellie wasn’t home.

She was passing by your room when she heard a soft huff, the sound quickly catching her attention as she slowly walked towards your door, catching sight of the various opened boxes scattered around your room that was already looking sparse due to packing it all the way.

That. That was the straw the broke the camels fucking back.

Because suddenly, Ellie is pushing your door open, the force from her hand making it slam against your wall, the loud sound making you flinch to look over in her direction with wide eyes.

“Ellie?” You question softly.

The sound of her name rolling off your tongue makes a shiver run down her spine, because god….had she missed the way you said it.

Her eyes are angry, eyebrows furrows together as her eyes scan your room, looking at the boxes, your half empty closet, your empty book shelf.

“What the fuck is going on here?” She spits out, her tone making you wince slightly. It’s the first time you’ve heard her speak to you in almost an entire month and it’s so fucking hostile, so pointed.

This really wasn’t how you wanted this to go.

You let out a soft sigh, bringing your palm up to ran along your face as you look down at the boxes as well, heart sinking at the thought of going.

“Look…Ellie…I was planning on telling you…I just-“ she’s quick to cut you off, walking further into your bedroom as her eyes scan the walls, watching as they began to grow emptier and emptier the further in she looked. She scoffs, her green eyes finally landing on yours, her smoldering grip enough to take your breath away.

“Bull-fucking-shit. You weren’t going to tell me anything, and you know that” she argues, nostrils flared as she stares at you with eyes filled with that same glare of hate that you saw every time she’d glaze over you within recent weeks.

And she was right. You had no intention of telling her anything. She would learn that you were gone once you were gone, because that’s what you did.

You always ran.

You let out a sigh of defeat before you step away from her, fully intending on continuing packing. You didn’t want this to stop you, or put anymore obstacles in your way of leaving. This was what you had to do, and you knew that.

“I can’t stay here anymore, Ellie…things are fucked up between us and I just…I won’t deal with it anymore” you mumble out, your voice tired, weak. A clear indication of how you felt towards the entire situation. It was draining you, and you knew that for your own well being, you had to get out.

The sight of you packing as if she wasn’t in your room, trying to figure out why you were leaving, makes her even more upset. It blinds her from your words, from the weakness in your voice, in your appearance. She ignores it because the anger she feels is much easier to indulge in.

"So that's it? You're just gonna leave? Without saying anything to me?" she barks out, her tone making you feel worse than you already do.

And then it all stops, because why the hell are you feeling bad when this isn't even your fault.

You slowly turn to Ellie, your eyebrows furrowed as you stare at her in disbelief, cocking your head to the side slowly before you start to speak.

"Are you listening to yourself right now, Ellie? Do you ever stop to think for one second that not everything is about you?" The tone of your voice is so calm, words so slow and articulated, it barely even sounds like you're mad.

And it scares you, and it scares her.

You don't stop there, you couldn't even if you wanted to.

"This wasn't my idea, none of it was. I agreed to help you because you asked it of me, and I clearly have no fucking sense of boundaries. I get that what I did was wrong, and I shouldn't have left you that morning, but no one is fucking perfect" You defend, your own breath become more shallow the more you speak, your anger and frustration finally rising to the surface.

"This isn't good for me. You aren't good for me, you've been fucking different girls every goddamn night just to hurt me, and you're a fucking liar if you deny it." you spit out, making Ellie wince slightly, yet her eyebrows never unravel from how furrowed they are, and the frown on her lips is still there.

When you said it out loud though, she realized just how bad it was.

"I did it to get your fucking attention...not to hurt you" She barely whispers, staring down at you. You can't help but laugh softly, scoffing at her words before you give her a gentle sigh.

"Oh it got my attention, Ellie. It got it so much, that I can't bare for you to have it anymore..." you mumble out softly before you turn away from her, unable to stare into her eyes for any longer.

"I don't know what happened between us that morning...but I want nothing more than to just..forget about it all" You let out meekly, feeling yourself reduce to that small ball of insecurities once again.

And Ellie finally softens when she sees it, because you never let your guard down this much.

She inhales deeply, taking a step towards you, trying to get closer to you. You don't step back, or flinch, you simply ignore her, carrying on to pack your things as if she wasn't there, standing above you.

"You hurt me too...you know" she mumbled out, her voice finally dropping that hostile tone that she had when she first walked in. You're quick to turn towards her, spinning around to set your eyes that were quickly growing redder by the second.

"And Im sorry!" you shout, your voice going the loudest it had yet, it makes Ellie flinch.

You sigh out tiredly before you bring your hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "If I could go back and do it differently..I would..but too much has happened, Ellie...I don't..." you trail off, struggling to find the proper words before you sigh softly, finally speaking again.

"I don't see you the same way, anymore" you mumble out.

This makes Ellies heart seize up, because what do you mean by that? What are you trying to tell her?

You move to sit on your knees, you bare legs coming in contact with the cold, wooden floor as you begin packing more things in a different box. There's no more fighting, there isn't anymore arguing, or anger, it's just silent, the occasional sound of your clothes hitting each other when they hit you settle them in the box. You don't even bother to turn around and yell at Ellie, or even tell her to get out.

And maybe thats what's hurting her the most. You never yelled, you didn't cry or beg, you didn't do anything when she knew you heard her, saw her with those other girls. All of them were nothing to her, sorry attempts at trying to grab hold of your attention again, get you to show just a little bit of fucking anger, so that she knew you still felt something for her, so that she knew she still had you.

But it was clear to her with the way that you disregarded her after it all, as if she didn't even matter, that she didn't have you anymore.

Did she ever? Did she ever have a chance with you? Was she all in her head? Were you simply just a good friend? A decent roommate who promised to help her out when she needed help? Was all of it just....

Pretend?

She feels like she's running out of options, because she assumed that if anything, you two would fight and end up in a heated, passionate love making session where you two would admit what you had felt all along.

But Ellie was slowly coming to the conclusion that she was being fucking delusional.

Her decisions didn't let up thought, because soon, she's on her knees next to you, grabbing your wrists gently in her hands and pulling you to face her. She feels her heart break when you refuse, trying to pull away from her grasp, mumbling soft complaints of how you needed to finish packing.

When she finally tugs you a bit harder, forcing you to look at her, she feels the weight of her mistakes finally settle on her chest, because you're crying. Your eyes are puffy and your cheeks are stained, and it's all her fucking fault.

She bites back a whimper, tugging her bottom lip into her mouth as she feel her own throat burn with tears.

"Hey...look at me...come on...where's my pretty girl...come on.." She tries over and over again, voice breaking, making you whimper as you try tugging your arms from her grasp.

"Don't you see how fucked up this is, Ellie? We were just screaming at each other and now...now you're calling me your girl" you plead with her, the words bubbling past your lips as the mere sight of here forces more tears from your eyes, making it harder and harder to talk.

Ellie can't talk her way out of this one, not with you. She knows there isn't much she can do, or say, and she feels like she's all out of options, because you're right. All of this is so fucked up, and it makes her insides burn because she's hurt, and you're hurt, and it feels like there's nothing she can do to fix it.

She does the only thing she feels will work. She kisses you.

It's filled with everything. Passion, longing, happiness, sadness, anger, everything that had been pent up between the both of you is poured into the kiss, and it's enough to make you feel dizzy.

But you don't pull away, you melt into her, just like you always do. She feels it too, feels the way you let you defenses down, taking it as a chance to tug your wrists up and around her neck, her own arms resting on your hips as she pulls you closer, her lips working against yours.

"Im....fuck...im so sorry, baby....never meant to hurt you" She mumbles against you, her words coming out as a breathy sigh against your lips, making you moan softly against her. She pushes her tongue into your mouth, giving your waist a soft squeeze.

"M'sorry too..Ellie....shouldn't have left..." You whine against her, and she's quickly shaking her head, gently tugging you up to stand with her before she's pulling you too your bed.

"Just...lemme take care of you..alright" She hums against your lips before she gently pushes you back to lay on your bed, her own body crawling over yours, resting her weight on your body as she goes back to kissing you.

It's so slow, and sensual, and it feels like the entire world is quiet, like you're fading into her, and she's fading into you, and you both are becoming one. It feels so fucking right, and the hole that had been growing in your chest is finally filling up, the essence that is Ellie slowly acting as the medicine that you needed all along.

Ellie rolls over, gripping your hips and tugging you to straddle her waist as she lays back against your bed. Her green eyes eat you up, strong hands already running along your hips and thighs, giving you a squeeze before her hand creeps up your t shirt, pushing it up a bit before it slips under, grasping your boob and massaging it in her hands.

"Fuck...look at you...missed you so much, pretty girl....you can't even imagine.." She sighs softly under her breath, eager hands roaming your body hungrily, as if they've deprived of you for so long, missing the way your skin spilled out from under her hands, always so responsive for her.

You tug your bottom lip between your teeth as you watch her practically worshiping your body with her hands, a soft whine leaving your lips as you rest your hands on her hips, pushing up her t shirt a bit as your thumbs rub small circle into her pale hips.

Her hands rest on your hips, forcing you to grind down onto her lap, making you whine softly, the feeling her her sweats bunching up right at your core, your cotton pajama shorts leaving much too room to be exposed by her touch.

She sits up, grabbing the hem of your shirt before she tugs it off your body, groaning softly as her lips immediately latch onto your nipple, biting and sucking. You moan softly, arching your back a bit and forcing more of you to her mouth, hands wrapped around her neck, toying with the hair at the nape of her neck.

Ellie pushes you back, resting you to lay down before she tugs your pajama shorts and panties off in one go. You promptly spread your legs for her, letting her settle between them, the small gesture making her groan, her strong hands gripping your thighs, grinding against your bare pussy.

"Fuck...such a good girl for me..." she sighs softly against your lips.

You whine, reaching down and tugging at her own pants, fumbling with the waistband of her shorts that hung oh so fucking low.

"Off..wanna feel you.." You moan softly against her, resulting in a soft chuckle from her. She presses one last kiss to your lips before she nods.

"Whatever you want baby...fuck" she mumbles softly under her breath when she pulls back to start tugging her own clothes off, catching a glimpse of your soaking wet pussy and naked body in the dim light of your room.

She looks so fucking desperate, nearly tripping over her sweats as she tugs them off, tossing them somewhere else in your room. It's like she can't get the clothes off quick enough, immediately settling between your legs again once she's naked, groaning softly a the feeling of your pussy against her body.

Her eagerness makes you giggle, and Ellie feels like she's on cloud fucking nine when she hears it, so soft and gentle. She pouts softly, staring down at you while she's already moving to position her pussy over yours, tossing your leg over her shoulder.

"What are you laughing at...hm?" She questions softly, her hips slowly moving against yours as she lets out a soft moan, eyes never leaving yours.

You can barely get the words out, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you feel her slick pussy against yours, clits bumping together in a way that has you nearly salivating.

She chuckles above you, a soft groan following the noise as her lips graze along your calf.

"Thats what I thought...fuck....your pussy is too fuckin good, princess' She moans out softly, her hips moving slowly against yours.

You moan loudly, your hand coming to grip her thigh as you move your hips in tow with hers.

"F-fuck, Ellie....you...that feels so good" you babble out, your other hand gripping the sheets beneath you as she fucks her pussy down onto yours.

Ellie smirks softly as she watches you, watches the way you fall apart beneath her.

"Thats my fuckin girl....you're the only fucking one I need...fuck...." She groans, turning her head a bit to kiss your calf again before her teeth sink into you, biting and sucking your skin, making you moan loudly.

You feel her speed up, hips growing desperate as she chases both hers and your orgasm, making your head spin as your nails dig into her thigh, sure to leave marks in the morning.

"Im....god...Im close Ellie.....fuuuckkkk....dont stop" you gasp out, low, lust filled eyes staring up at her as she continues bullying your pussy with hers, both of your arousal squelching together, making the most explicit noise you've ever fucking heard.

"Come on baby...want you to cum for me...can you do that? Fuck...I feel it too....that's it, pretty girl.." Ellie is babbling too, her lust clouded braun barely uttering words that are comprehensible.

You see her eyes squeeze shut, her moans getting louder and more high pithed, sounding so fucking pretty above you.

You feel like you'll explode, your back arching as the familiar feeling settles in your core, your pussy getting wetter and wetter as you feel your orgasm grow closer.

"A-ah! Ellie!" You scream out as you come undone beneath her.

And she isn't far behind, leaning down and crashing her lips against yours, forcing you to swallow her moans as she cums hard against your pussy, the both of you breathing hard as her hips sputter, pussy sliding around sloppily against yours as she becomes so fucked out, that she loses her rhythm completely.

And just like before, she lays there, on top of you, trying to catch her breath, face tucked against your neck, hands keeping you close, as if you'll disappear in thin air at any given moment.

There's so much going through your head, trying to figure out what it is that happens from here, where you and here go, what steps to take after, all of which come up with blank answers whenever you try to figure out what to do.

You assume she will fall asleep on you as she did before, knock out immediately and leave you to lay there with your plaguing thoughts.

She doesn't, though. You hear a soft hum from her lips, her hands squeeze your waist gently, before she speaks against your neck.

"I love you...so much.." she sighs out, her voice breaking a bit as if shed break down at any given moment.

You aren't sure what you'll do from this point on, but you do know one thing.

You won't run away from Ellie, ever again.

[leonstoenailunderhisbed]

My baby, my baby…

Summary: Leon is a man pushing 40 and you’re a girl in her early 20s. You confessed your feelings but things went south.

Warning: age gap. literally any older version of Leon. reader is young. female reader. haha guess what? it’s sad again.

a/n: I love mitski <3 still mad I didn’t go to her concert. Guys I love writing, I feel like I’m god waiting for shit to happen. TEEHEE.🤭 also, should I make a part two with smut?

(pt.1) (pt.2)

“You're my baby, say it to me” - Mitski, I Bet On Losing Dogs

You hated him. Well not really. You just hated the way he made you feel when you two were in the same room. Your heart beat faster and you felt your face grow hot. You had butterflies in your stomach every time he did something. And you felt stupid because he’s a man twice your age.

You did what you always think is best, avoid him. To which you failed miserably. You both worked on the same team on the DSO, of course you were bound to be next to him. It was as if the universe was mocking you. You couldn’t help but feel guilty. This man, poor innocent man, probably doesn’t know that he has someone so much younger after him. He must be worried about missions and not dying, while you were here crushing over him.

It didn’t help the way he would talk to you, distant but polite. He didn’t hate you, he just thought you were too young to experience such a miserable life the DSO puts on its agents. He wants you to live life. To be a normal girl in her early 20s. He wanted you to have the life he wished he had. He wished you would live your 21st year way differently than when he was 21.

But those thoughts remained unspoken. Neither of you actually spoke about anything besides work and missions. You tried to find excuses to talk to him but he would just stare at you in silence as you talked. He wasn’t mad, he just stood there. (Like this lol🧍‍♂️)

Professional and polite conversations turned into jokes. One time, during a meeting, you were sitting next to Leon and the poor man looked like he didn’t get an ounce of sleep. Chris was talking about some mission in Antarctica and Leon couldn’t help but grumble a stupid joke about all the penguin shit roaming around. It was such a stupid joke but you laughed. When Leon heard you laugh, he turned his head your direction and stared at you with a raised brow. He smirked to himself and laughed a little bit. It was funny to both of you.

From that moment, he became more warm towards you. When he saw you, he would nod at him. And you being you, a delusional lover, gushed about how much he is in love with you.

You managed to break the ice exterior he had because he would look at you with soft eyes every time you got near him.

-

But things changed when you confessed your feelings to him. The softness in his eyes disappeared and he looked at you with the same distant look he had. “I’m too old for you, y/n…” He spoke with a quiet but firm tone. The two of you were currently alone in some room inside the DSO building. You thought this was the perfect time to let your feelings out.

He took a step towards you and stood in front of you, “You should focus on someone your age, sweetheart,” He mumbled as he brought his hand to your face and brushed some strands of hair behind your ear. He then ran his hand down your cheek with a gentle touch. You couldn’t help but lean into it. His thumb gently grazes against your bottom lip as he ran his fingers around your side of your face.

You were upset, you wanted him despite the age gap. “Please… I only want you,” you whispered and leaned into the palm of his hand.

Leon stared at you and then sighed as he brought his hand down your chin to lift it up more. He wanted to see those beautiful eyes of yours, even if they began to show how sad you were. “It’s wrong for me to have you,” he whispered gently as he examines your face.

You felt your eyes become full of emotion, “It’s not fair…” your voice came out strained and barely audible, it was a miracle Leon still understood you.

"I know." Leon sighed, unable to keep himself from looking you with a soft look. You were his soft spot after all, "Trust me; nothing would please me more than to be with you..."

“Then let me have this one chance…please?” You begged with pleading eyes. "I shouldn't," he breathed, eyes traveling down to your lips before returning to scan your face, "It wouldn't be right for me to take advantage of you..."

“I want you to take advantage of me, to use me… I just want to be yours,” you whispered as your eyes shifted down to his lips and then back to his eyes.

"You're sure about this?" His breathing quickened as his eyelids drew heavy, his gaze locked onto the soft curve of your lips. You nodded, “I wouldn’t be asking you if I wasn’t sure,” you whispered as your hand intertwined with his.

He squeezed your hand, and with a slight shrug of his shoulders, he leaned down until your faces were just mere inches apart.

He breathed slowly, eyes scanning your gaze, "Promise me one thing..."

You stared at his eyes and nodded, “yeah?”

"Promise me..." He breathed out slowly, allowing himself to lean in closer to you until his breathing was near whisper. "...That you will not regret this.”

“I won’t,” you whispered as you closed your eyes and felt Leon's lips finally make contact with yours, kissing for the very first time. It was a gentle, tender caress that made your cheeks flush with color, his broad hands gently resting on your hips while the tips of his fingers grazed the skin of your waist. You brought your hands to his broad shoulders and rested them there. You felt your knees grow weak from the gentleness of the kiss. His lips felt so soft against yours, he tasted the flavor of your chapstick and he couldn’t help but love it even more.

He sighed against your lips as the gentleness of the kiss began to build into something more passionate. His lips pressed against yours firmly, a hand cupping your chin to keep your face closer. His lips parted slowly, urging your lips to part as well. When you felt his lips part and his tongue press on your bottom lip, you gasped and he dived his tongue right into your mouth. His tongue finally danced against your tongue, inviting a response back from you. Your grip on his shoulders increased ever so slightly as you moaned in the kiss, sending the vibrations to his tongue as both your tongues danced passionately.

He moaned softly in response, his hands sliding around to your back once more holding you as close to him as he could. His tongue continued to swirl around your mouth, gently sucking at your bottom lip. His hold on you was strong and firm, a silent command to stay pressed against him. His hold on you only grew stronger as he kept you pressed up against his body. A hand ran through your hair, keeping your head held in place. His tongue and lips continued the dance of teasing and pleasing, your own lips responding in kind. The passion built within his embrace, his breath growing labored and his heart beating rapidly against his chest. It felt so surreal.

You moved your hands down to his chest and gently pulled back to catch your breath. You panted as you tried to breathe and remain focused. Your brain felt mushy from how good the kiss was. You finally got the chance to taste his lips.

His lips parted from yours, and he breathed out slowly, his breathing rapid and throat parched. His hand slid to your lower back as he kept you pressed close to him. He brushed a few stray strands of hair from your face, then gently tucked it back behind your ear. "Are you ok?" He whispered, voice still strained, but his body relaxing slightly.

You nodded and breathed out a small “yes,”

Leon let his grip on you loosen slightly, allowing a small distance to form between the two of you. He brushed the side of your face, and his hand moved to grasp yours.

"Good," He whispered slowly, his gaze falling to your lips, "So very good..." he sighed and let his hand slid back down your back before letting go, "Forgive me if I got a little carried away..." He took in a deep breath, his voice now returning to a normal tone, "I've wanted to do that for a very long time..."

You eyes nestled bulged out of their sockets after he said that, “You did?” You asked softly in disbelief.

He nodded slowly, his gaze flicking between yours, “Yes. Ever since the moment we first met, I was attracted to you, even though I knew it was wrong. I wanted you, wanted to hold you close, kiss you, and make you mine…” his eyes growing distant, "I've wanted you..." He took a deep breath, then gently caressed your chin with a hand, his lips gently grazing your forehead.

You closed your eyes and felt the softness of his lips plant a kiss on your forehead. A gesture so gentle and soft it could bring anyone to their knees.

He breathed out slowly, closing his eyes for a second before opening them to peek at you through his lids. He raised a brow and sighed, adjusting the hold on your chin to gently tip your head up.

"But as I said, I'm too old for you," he brushed his fingers across your jawline, "And I fear that our relationship would be met with judgment and ridicule..." he looked at you with saddened eyes. He wished he could kiss you anytime, to be with you in public and not have to worry about the judgment. In his eyes, you were the most beautiful woman to ever step foot on earth. It was sad, really. How much love he had for you but he hid it for your sake. He loves you so much he didn’t want you to get hurt.

You furrowed your brows together and looked at him with those sad eyes of yours. But his heart ached the most with the strain of your voice, “I don’t care what anyone says…”

"But you should," he replied softly, "You're still young... You should find someone closer to your age,” he caressed your cheek once again as he looked into your eyes "What about your family?" He sighed, "What if your parents disagree with us? They'd say that I'm taking advantage of you and manipulating you because you're young..."

“Leon, please, I’m an adult. I can make my own choices…” you whispered with a sad tone, “I don’t care if you’re 20 years older than me. I want you… dare I say I love you…”

Leon fell silent as your words sank into him. He froze in place, for a few moments, he was speechless, his facial expressions shifting through multiple emotions.

"Love me?" He whispered, leaning down towards you, "Y/n… you don’t love me. You love the idea of me you have in your head.” He whispered softly as he caressed your cheek once again. His voice so soft and tender and full of sadness.

Your throat was caught up into a knot. Did you screw things over already? Or were they already screwed up before this began?

You bit your bottom lip to contain the threatening tears that were about to spill. He saw this and gently brought his thumb over to the corner of your eyes and wiped them for you.

“I love you…” you nodded and felt your eyes get glossy, “I love you, Leon…” you whispered, “This feeling I have… it’s controlling me. I can’t breathe when I’m not with you. I need you…”

“Don’t cry, angel,” he whispered as he kissed your forehead again and gave you a sad smile. “How do you know this is not just infatuation?”

You stared into his blue eyes deeply, “Because I’ve never felt this way towards anyone before..”

His eyes were locked onto yours, a million thoughts running through his head. As much as he wanted to be with you, this was never meant to happen. You’re way too young. You needed someone else, someone better than him. He sighed and looked out the window. What was once a sunny day became a rainy one. He looked back down at you.

"Go home, y/n…" he whispered.

He let go of your face and took a step back. You watched him go with sad eyes, you wanted to chase after him so badly but you felt frozen in place. It was bittersweet. You got the kiss you wanted but at the cost of him leaving you.

You sniffled and cried silently as you walked out of the building and to the bus stop. You put on your headphones and began to listen to some music while you watched the raindrops race down the window.

Leon watched you from the second floor window. He felt a pang of guilt in his heart. He knew you’d cry but he couldn’t let you get too attached to someone like him. He was broken, never meant to be fixed again. While you were everything. In another universe, maybe the two of you could’ve been together.

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

[slasherscream]

I love your writing! And you just get my craziness and character obsessions. I was thinking what would happen if reader had a bruise cheek or lip, and refuse to tell them what happen. Then they discover that the reader was the one who beat the shit out of someone for saying something about their partner, and how proud yet pissed off they will be. I’m think Crazy Ass Girls Gang, need more possessive and protective FMC. Thank you!

warnings: yandere behavior - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Tiffany Valentine - Tricks you into thinking she’s gonna be normal about it. She purses her lips when you won’t tell her anything, but quietly rushes off to get the first-aid kit. WATCH OUT! You have just activated a trap card: emotional manipulation. Her most powerful weapon. She’ll silently and dotingly take care of you. Disinfectant. Gentle Hands. Careful bandaging. Petulant silence. Painkillers lovingly dropped in your hand. Big sad eyes staring up at you. When you inevitably break and tell her what happened she could melt! She does melt, straight into your arms. You’re gonna be covered in lipstick by the time she’s through with you. Her hero. Don’t worry, she’ll help you clean up… eventually. Later, you’ll have to help her clean up too. It was so romantic of you to fight for her honor…. But she'd never let someone live after they hurt you, silly.

Jordan Li - Won’t drop the line of questioning until you’re damn near ready to fight her too. She hates that you’re hurt. She loves that you wanted to defend her. Jordan gets a lot of criticism, sometimes it seems never ending. The fact that you feel so strongly about protecting her, not because you think she can’t fight her own battles… but because she shouldn’t have to do it all alone? It means a lot. Still, she doesn’t want you getting into fights. Let alone fights over her. It doesn’t matter how badly you hurt the other person. If there are marks on you Jordan is going to go find them for round two. “You like to put hands on people?” Words spoken seconds before disaster (she’s ignoring the fact that you started the fight. Jordan could give a shit about semantics.)

Nancy Downs - Don’t wanna tell her? Cool! Get ready to experience her favorite couple’s activity besides shoplifting: abusing your coven bond to read your mind! Hooray! It will hurt badly. Because Nancy always makes it hurt when you keep her out on purpose, or hide things from her (or when she thinks you’re doing that.) But don’t worry, after she realizes how sweet you really were, she’ll make you feel all better. Cooing over you as much as she ever allows herself to coo. Cleaning your cuts. Healing you with her magic. Trying to ease the fever that always comes whenever she uses your bond in a way she shouldn’t. She thinks you’re the stupidest, sweetest thing. You’re witches. You don’t have to use your fists anymore to win fights. She leaves you with the coven and goes to enact a witch’s vengeance on whoever dared to lay a finger on you. 

Jennifer Check - You’ll try not to tell her but she immediately starts making such wild accusations you have to just come out and admit to why you’re injured. “I can smell someone on you. If you wanted to get beat up to get your rocks off you should’ve just told me, I’d happily beat the shit out of you.” Start talking quickly! She looks like she’s about to start fulfilling that nonexistent wish now. Once you tell her she has to suppress a smile. She’s a demon. She doesn’t need you playing knight in shining armor over what some jealous, mouth-breathing, loser is saying about her… but, it’s kinda hot that you did. She’ll show you just how hot she thinks it is. Then you two are gonna take a nice little drive, and you’re gonna point out the jackass who put bruises on you. She’ll fuck you again after she’s full. “Thanks for finding my next meal, baby.” 

Victoria Neuman - Victoria expects you to have better self control than this. Not telling her what happened isn’t an option. Ever. The look on her face when you first try and insist that nothing happened is enough for you to quietly admit you got into a fight. Her blood pressure sky-rockets. You two have an image to maintain. You’re her spouse. She has enough problems as it is. She’s thinking of viral videos, nightly news, seedy gossip magazines doing think-pieces: do we really want this person standing behind the president as first spouse? When you tell her you fought one of the Boys for trying to convince you she’s a monster? Well…. She goes a little softer. Victoria will pull you into the circle of her arms and thank you for being so loyal to her. She means it from the bottom of her heart. She’s also dreaming of the day she can pop their fucking heads. Touching you. Talking to you. Trying to turn you against her… they’ve crossed her last line. 

Carrie White - The moment she sees you she’s in hysterics: “Oh, Angel, what happened?!” You’re really gonna sit there and not tell her anything? She’s worked herself into an anxiety attack within seconds. She can hardly open the first aid kit, she’s shaking so bad. The sound of your voice is always so soothing for her that you’ll start telling her the story just to have something to say. She listens quietly while she cleans you up. You’ll have to pull her into your lap before long, and kiss her gently. You’re all she has in the world and it scares her to death to think of you putting yourself in unnecessary danger. You’ll fall asleep curled into each other’s arms. You whisper soft reassurances: “Nothing’s gonna happen to me / I’ll always be here.” Carrie tries her best to listen. You’ll wake up alone, but wander downstairs just as Carrie walks through the front door. She wanted to get her knight in shining armor some breakfast from your favorite diner down the street. She watches you eat with a big smile, and thinks about how she’ll have to burn those clothes in the trunk of the car. She couldn't risk them trying to hurt you again.

Ginger Fitzgerald - Don’t piss her off. If you don’t tell her exactly who touched you she’ll rip the entire city apart. Women, children, men, everyone. Anyone. “Do you want me to do that? Huh, baby? Is that what you want me to do?” No? Then start talking. She won’t be able to see through the blood-lust long enough to take care of you. As soon as you say a name Ginger’s out the door. She’ll only return once she’s thoroughly covered in viscera and gore. She’s still dripping with it when she crawls into bed with you, smearing the blood across your body. She’ll lick at any injury you have, until they’re clean and closed, your skin smooth and unblemished. She’s the only thing that can leave marks on you. She’ll kill anything else that tries. “You don’t have to lift a finger for me, baby. If you want someone hurt, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you.” Just run your fingers through her hair and try not to cringe as your fingertips get stained red. 

Patricia (Split) - She’s devastated by the state you come home in after she allows you to go out on a walk all by yourself for the first time since you were…. taken. You’d been so good for her. So obedient. So sweet. She wanted to reward you. And now your eye is starting to bruise, and your clothes are all askew, and your knuckles are swollen. Her calm demeanor cracks, and it’s a struggle to stay in the light. She takes deep breaths, centers herself. None of the others are what you need, right now. You need her. She strips you down, runs you a bath, won’t even let you hold the washcloth. It’s only as she’s patting you dry that she can force out words, finally: “What happened to you, sweet thing, hmm?” The guilt nearly brings her to tears. Months of keeping you close and look at what just a pinch of negligence has done to you… You try to assuage her guilt. You tell her you ran into a neighbor, who’d seen the two of you out together once Patricia trusted you enough to accompany her for little things like grocery trips. You say it’s your fault you came back to her in this condition. That you just couldn’t stand the vile things they said about her. Her face drops into an expression you’ve never seen. It’s gone in an instant, replaced by that comforting, ever present smile she wears for you. She takes you by the chin and kisses your forehead: “My little sweet thing. Playing knight, are you?” You had her love before. Tentatively, you had something like trust. Now Patricia trusts you completely. Even so, you won’t be going out alone again. Patricia trusts you. But it’s clear she can’t trust the world to be gentle with you. Don’t worry, though. All you need to do is ask, when you want to feel the sun on your face. You never see that neighbor again, no matter what time of day you and Patricia go walking.

A/N: thank you!!! we need more batshit crazy women with something wrong with them! Batshit crazy women with something wrong with them unite! if you enjoyed these headcanons consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writer's fuel is engagement. Xoxoxo

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Which dorm arc do you think was the best written? I liked the ignihyde arc the most if I have to be honest

This might be unfair to the other books (since most of them have fewer parts/less time for their stories + book 7 isn't even complete yet for me to judge), but I think the writing in book 6 is the strongest (as in, "most interesting" and "most narratively sound") so far. What gives book 6 a massive leg up over other books is that the conflicts addressed in book 6 were foreshadowed WAY in advance through other content like voice lines, vignettes (I believe Ortho's Precision Gear), and events (like Wish Upon a Star). It was sooo satisfying to see all of the payoff (and Idia breaking down)!!

I don't think the other books are bad by any means except for book 2, sorry not sorry Leona, I just feel that 6 had a lot of space to touch on more characters and their development than only the Ignihyde boys; I loved catching up with characters we've already met and seeing how they've grown or changed, even in little ways. Additionally, I personally prefer stories with "high stakes" and family-oriented drama involved in them, so they biases me quite a bit toward book 6. The high stakes and family drama angle is also true of book 7, but again, it's not out in its entirety yet so I'm going to reserve my judgment until it has.

Something that's unique to book 7 (and that I wish previous books did, even if it elongates them significantly) is actually deepening our understanding of every character within the dorm. I would have been so bored if book 7 focused solely on Malleus. I loved getting to learn more about what makes Lilia tick, and seeing how Sebek and Silver develop from their experiences. I feel like I didn't get a significant enough of a look into many of the other boys during the main story campaign... Instead, we're often told about things that happened without truly witnessing it for ourselves. I know, I know, that's the whole point of a visual novel--expecting a lot of reading. I still would have preferred like... more flashbacks and scenes demonstrating what we're being told rather than the dialogue doing it for us. Show me how Riddle's relationship with Chenya and Trey has changed since their childhood! Show me young Jack being inspired by Leona's play and wanting to be in the same team as him! Etc., etc., etc. I could always look to vignettes and event stories for more lore on each character, but those are always portrayed as "AUs", whereas the main story is what is 'canon" so it's sort of sad to see that we never get to look any closer at most of the supporting cast upon that bigger stage.

It’s exciting that we now get to see more of the boys since we’re now dream hopping for book 7; I’m just going to hold my judgment for now since I found the pacing uneven and a little quick for what we’ve seen of Pomefiore so far, especially when compared to the longer Lilia dream segment. Again, I find book 6 stronger in this regard but that could be because its scale is slightly smaller and it has fewer characters to juggle. I guess we’ll have to wait and see how book 7 wraps up—maybe it’ll completely win me over!

[luvyeni]

Hellow. I was wondering if you can write this silly thing in my mind, Jay with a Chubby girlfriend, he's experienced and basically all the college girls recognize him as a sex God until he met her, she's virgin and insecure, like it actually took Jay a long time to gain her trust because she was thinking that it was impossible someone so popular and handsome like him liked some like her.

Here's my plot: all the girls have been talking about her and how fat and ugly she's making her even more insecure to the point that she push away Jay when he touched her like he usually does even just holding hands, especially when he holds her waist. But he's so in love with her that he just adores every single inch of her, reassuring her that no one is as beautiful as her, so he just kiss every inch of her making her first time so special and full of love and tears because I'm a cry insecure baby

Sorry for the long ask, literally i dreamed about this 🥺

FOREVER AND ALWAYS; PARK JEONGSEONG

pairings. boyfriend!jeongseong x fem!reader

wc. 1.9k

warnings. talks of weight, fatshaming, insecurities, oral (f. reader), unprotected sex, overstimulation, reader cries.

i hope it's like you dreamed💓! the bullying kind of made me sad since im a big girly myself, so i didn't add too much.

after finding out people have been saying horrible things about you, he's determined to show you how much he loves you.

—

"she's so shameless, if i was that fat i wouldn't wear such things." you frowned, looking down at the message wishing jay would hurry up. "yeah, jay is such a cute guy, he could get anyone he wants, i don't understand why he would date someone like her."

"it's probably a joke, it has to be."

you could hear them laughing at you , and they knew you could hear them. they knew because it was something you heard on a daily occurrence by people just like them.

"baby." jay ran over to you, kissing your cheek, noticing how you moved your face, but deciding to ignore it. "hey jay." the girls giggled flirtatiously. "hi." he turned back to smiling.

"my class got held up, im sorry, you ready to go home?" he went to grab your hand, something he always did when you'd walked back to your shared apartment near campus, so you could imagine his surprise when you brushed it away. "yeah, let's go."

jay was confused, it's been a while since you avoided his affection. when you started dated, jay had a reputation , that forbid you to trust him , being really standoffish , jay was much more experienced than you , actually you had no experience due to your insecurities. jay was aware of this , so he actually took the time to get to know you , and form a relationship with you , a year later and he didn't even care that you haven't had sex , he just wants to be around you all the time.

"let's stop and get some food to take home." he pointed to your favorite store. "i'm not hungry." jay was serious when it came to food though. "well then put in the fridge and eat it later, let's just get it now." he held the door open, letting you walk in.

"do you want the regular?" he stood behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist, kissing you lovingly. you felt eyes on you, and the chuckles, pushing his arm away. "get whatever jay." you went to go wait by the door, you didn't mean to sound so rude, but you really just wanted to go home.

jay couldn't even ask you what was wrong because he was next in line, and you had already put your headphone on, spaced out.

you walked the rest of the way in silence, headphones on as you finally made it to your apartment, taking your shoes off , making your way to your room, undressing out of your day clothes.

"wait, are we just not gonna talk about it." jay followed behind. "what are you talking about?" you searched through the drawer in your underwear and a tank top, looking for a pair of sweats.

"you've been acting weird the entire walk home, you've avoided my affection multiple times, you keep looking around to see if people are looking, what is it? what's wrong." you turned to him. "why are you still here?" he took a step back. "what."

"you can have anybody you want, there are girls lining up to have sex with you, they do it right in front of me so know, why are you here? what do you want from me? am i just a joke that you're stringing along for a laugh with your friends?" jay was stunned, even on your worst days, you've never snapped at him, and he could tell you didn't mean it either cause of the widening of your eyes.

"im so sorry, i didn't mean it." he was silent, just pulling you into a hug. "i'm sorry." he rubbed up and down your back. "it's okay." he whispered. "i know you didn't mean it." he could feel your shoulders shaking as you sniffled into his neck, your tears warm. "they're so mean." jay finally got what was bothering you , and he was pissed. how dare they make you feel like this, after everything he's done to make you feel secure, how dare they treat you like this.

"listen to me, there is no one as beautiful as you are, you understand me?" he looked at you with a serious face. "i don't want anyone else but you, and i will spend as long as i need to, to prove it to you love." he held your cheek in his hand, wiping the tears. "i love you okay?" you sniffled, nodding. "i love you too."

he kissed the apples of your cheeks. "my fools made my pretty baby feel bad about herself, they'll pay for this i swear." he kissed your lips. "my baby doesn't see how beautiful she is, but i do, she is the most beautiful person in the whole world." he kissed your neck. "i just love her so much." he said in between kissed. "j..jay." he shushed you. "let me show you baby just how beautiful i think you are." he backed you up against the bed, pushing you down softly.

"so so pretty." he climbed on top of you, continuing his assault on your neck. "j..jay, feels so good." you moaned. "yeah? does it?" he kissed down to your chest. "im gonna make you feel so good princess." his hand came up to grope your tits. "been waiting so long to feel these in my hand baby, so soft." you're back arched off the bed at the sensation. "so sensitive."

"t..they're too big." he lifted your shirt off your body, going back to squeezing them. "they're fucking perfect baby, i can't wait to fuck them, paint them with my cum." he licked a nipple. "jay f..fuck." you sighed, as he licked and sucked on your nipples, showing them each the same amount of love and affection, before he continued down to your tummy.

"your pretty tummy, love to touch. " his kisses were hot on your stomach. "made me feel really bad earlier, my pretty baby wouldn't let me touch her pretty tummy like i always do, it's my favorite thing, but she denied me." he was getting dangerously close to your underwear. "m..m'sorry." he gave your stomach one more kiss. "i know baby, you're gonna repay me by letting me eat your pretty pussy aren't you?" his words made your hips involuntarily buck up.

"y..yes." he slowly slid your panties down your legs, kissing up your legs, until he was face to face with your heat. "s.stop staring." you tried to close your legs, but he held them open. "sorry love, i can't help it, you're so pretty, everything about you is so pretty." he kissed the inside of your thighs. "i really want you to sit on my face." you whined, he looked up at you. "not right now." he nodded. "okay princess we don't have to, it's all about you." he gave your thighs a few more kisses, you could feel his breathing on your heat.

"jay please." you mewled trying to move your hips. "do something." he kissed your thighs one more time, before giving your cunt a surprise lick. "jay." your hands gripped the bedsheet. "taste so good baby." he gave your cunt a few kitten licks before eating you out like a starved man.

you've never felt something like this, the way he would switch between long stripes up your wet cunt, to little kitten licks, it had your head spinning. one particular lick had you grabbing his hair, grinding your cunt against his face. he moaned right into your heat, allowing you to use him to get yourself off.

"jay i feel- shit it feels so good." he could feel you gripping his hair a little harder, you about to cum. "go a head and cum pretty girl." you felt something build up in your abdomen, then snap. "im cumming!" jay continued licking your mess, riding out your high, until he felt your hips jerk from overstimulation. "j..jay."

"okay princess im done." he gave your clit one more kiss, before coming up, his lips glossed from your essence and spit. "you taste so good, i couldn't help it." his hand came down to his crotch, palming his hard on. "jay- we don't have to do anything right now, i just wanted to show you how much i love you."

you ignored him, replacing his hand with yours, rubbing him. "i want to, i'm ready." he groaned, hips bucking into your touch. "fuck- fine princess, i'll be gentle i swear." you trusted jay, you knew he wouldn't harm you. "i know you will." he climbed off of you, getting rid of all his clothes.

you never seen a cock before beside the videos, but his was probably the prettiest you've ever seen, he wasn't intimidatingly big; thick enough to make you feel good, veins decorated the sides all the way up to his dark red tip that had precum bubbling at the top, it made your mouth water.

"princess why are you staring so much?" he smirked, his thumb coming up to rub your clit. "p..pretty." he chuckled. "thank you love." he teased your hole with a finger. "so wet princess." he slowly slid his finger in. "gotta stretch you out a bit pretty, so it won't hurt as much." he slowly fingered you before pulling out.

"you ready beautiful?" you nodded. "please put it in jay." he bent down, kissing your lips, distracting you as he slowly pushed himself inside your hole. "j..jay." you moaned in pain and pleasure at the stretch. "i know love, i know." he slowly bottomed out inside you, letting out a low moan as you successfully took him hole. "pretty girl, you took all of me."

you were so tight, the way you clenched around him so tightly he knew he wasn't gonna last long, it had been a year since he had sex with anyone, forced to use his hand. "fuck baby, if i don't move now, im gonna cum just from your pretty pussing clenching around me." you moaned. "y..you can move." he pulled out, pushing himself inside you all at once this time. "f..fuck jay!" he began to thrust himself in and out of you.

"shit! princess you're so tight, so fucking wet."

his eyes were glued to your tits, the way they bounced along with every thrust. "so pretty baby, you're so fucking pretty— shit- i hate when you talk bad about yourself." you were a moaning mess. "you're so beautiful, you mean so much to me, you understand me." you nodded, but jay wanted to hear you.

"i said do *thrust* you *thrust* under *thrust* stand *thrust* me?" you felt the build up in your abdomen. "i..i understand." he kissed your lips. "i love you so much, don't forget that." you couldn't understand why, but you started to cry. "i..i love you too." he kissed your cheeks. "j..jay i'm gonna cum." he reached in between your bodies rubbing your clit. "cum for me pretty, go a head." you were a crying fucked out mess as you came on his cock. "shit!" he pulled out, fisting his cock before spilling all over your abused twitching hole.

you were still crying, overwhelmed by everything, jay pulled you into a hug, not caring about the sweat, or the smell of sex in the air, he only cared about you. "it's okay love, im right here." he rocked your body. "let it out."

he let you get yourself together before he helped you clean up, bringing you back to the bed. "don't go." he smiled, caressing your face. "i'll be right back." he said exiting the room. he returned back with the food you bought. "let's just eat in here tonight, i'll clean everything else later." you smiled as your boyfriend set everything up. "what is it?" he laughed. "i just love you so much." he kissed your lips, pulling away smiling.

"i told you, i'll always be here for you, i love you too, forever and always."

©️LUVYENI

[espinosaurusrexex]

Heyy could you maybe do the verbal fight with bucky from the bingo thing if it isn’t finished yet? love what you write btw <3

Thank you! Also to everyone that helped with their amazing ideas. I couldn’t decide which one to write... I will definitely take another prompt from this post (you can view it as a WIP list lmao)

I had to go with the most detailed one this time because my head is literally blank. Thank you @winterarmyy 💕

Verbal Fight (Bingo Game)

!BINGO ASKS CLOSED!

BuckyBarnes x Reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: fluff, misunderstandings, and Bucky’s sad internal monologue

Bucky’s eyes jolted open when Natasha and you laughed on the sofa next to him. He had been up for 36 hours now. But he wanted to spend time with his girl after the mission - a mission which left him with little to no sleep on top of physical exhaustion. 

His arm was resting on the couch behind you, fingers grazing your shoulder ever so slightly. It was enough to send him into a drowsy state. But as much as whatever he was doing right now neared sleep more than anything had done in the past day, he needed to go to bed. Preferably with you, cuddled up under the warm blanket, the smell of your hair in his nose and your soft body pressed into his. Bucky felt all warm just thinking about it and it plastered a small smile on his face.

“I think I'm going to hit the hay,” he said as he stood from the sofa, and waited once he had done so. 

“Ok,” you answered before your eyes wandered to him, an asking eyebrow urging him to talk again. “Anything else?”

His eyebrows raised before his hand reached out to you, a silent plea from him to just take it and follow him. You didn’t always go to bed together, but he liked to believe that you enjoyed it just as much whenever you got the chance to. “Aren’t you gonna join me?”

Your features softened once his request had passed, but you shook your head slightly. “You go ahead, I’ll be right behind ya.” And then you were back to giggling with Natasha. 

Bucky’s smile fell. He just wanted his girl in his arms and finally some sleep. Was that so too much to ask? But he didn’t want to sound desperate either. 

“Geez, clingy much Barnes?” Nat laughed before you agreed with a giggly “I know, right?” And then started whispering something with her. 

Bucky’s shoulders slumped, his heart seemingly doing the same. He just liked being with you. Especially after a mission or when he didn’t get to talk to you much. Was that clingy? Bucky thought it was normal to miss the people he cared about. You always told him you missed him when either of you was away. But apparently, he was a little too much. You had spent the entire evening together after all. 

A hoarse ‘okay’ drowned in the giggles in front of him before Bucky turned and headed to his room. How could he not have noticed that he trapped you with his presence? How long had you felt that way? All the questions were eating Bucky up inside. He couldn’t not bother, but he was hoping that his exhaustion would take care of it for now - let him sleep and forget about his racing mind. 

-❁-

Unfortunately, Bucky’s wishes remained unheard. He wasn’t sleeping. It had been 43 minutes since he tried. He knew, because every time he opened his eyes in hopes of having dreamt his newest dilemma, the watch hand of the clock on his nightstand had barely moved.

He was constantly bothered by the ways he could change his behavior. The last thing he wanted was to annoy you. But it was hard. He enjoyed your presence so much. It was new for him to feel this attached to a person, and because it felt so nice for a change, he pursued it in all the ways he could. 

It was about time it came to bite him in the ass now. Because in his experience, good things never lasted long, not for Bucky anyway. Hell, he was surprised the last four months of your relationship had gone so well. He was bound to mess up - it was in his nature...

The door to his room opened, but Bucky stayed in his position on the bed. His back turned to you, and his face pressed into the pillow frustratedly, we waited for you to just get ready and sleep. He told himself it was so he could be alone with his thoughts again, when really, he just didn’t know what to do - he needed to give you space.

Though Bucky should have known, you weren’t one to ignore an issue - and you always knew when there was one. 

The bed dipped but he didn’t move. Your hand reached out to him but he didn’t move. You attempted to turn him to you and he shook your hand off. 

“What’s wrong, Buck?” No response. It would only make it worse. 

“Come on, talk to me.” You touched his arm again and Bucky finally sat up and turned to you, eyebrows scrunched, breaths heavy. 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” There was no way to navigate this. Even if Bucky were able to steer this conversation toward the revelatory outcome he wanted, he had no clue how to do it. It was better to just get space - give you space. 

But you wouldn’t budge. You scooched closer to him on the bed, halting when Bucky flinched back. When he caught your eyes then, he found hurt and confusion turning your features. It made his chest sting, his hand clammy.

“You were fine just then. What happened?” Another attempt to reach out to him but he reacted the same. You averted your eyes, picking on the covers. “You know you can tell me anything right? I’m here if you need me-“

“Well, I don’t need you.” The words tasted bitter on his tongue. But how else could he tell you that he was anything but clingy? 

“You don’t mean that.”

“How would you know what I mean?!” He snapped, his effort to stay calm breaking like a dried stick between his fingers. “I feel like I don’t even know you! You don’t even want to spend time with me.”

But he didn’t miss the fire light up in your eyes at his last words and it sent a shiver through him. “Well, it’s hard when you pull yourself out of every social interaction to ever exist!” You moved away from him and he felt a pull at his heart. 

“Maybe I wouldn’t do it if you would actually pay attention to me for once!” Bucky didn’t know where that came from. There was frustration and confusion, and hurt all mixing in his brain, making it hard to distinguish intrusive from rational thoughts.

“Oh, so this is my fault?” You huffed.

“Or maybe I’m just fucking broken. Is that what you’re trying to say?! In this case, I don’t even know why you keep up with me.”

“Buck-”

“If I’m so broken why don’t you just get back to having fun with everyone else on the team and just leave me be? That’s what you do best, right? Be social! Show me how it’s done because I can’t do it. Ever!” Bucky caught a tear falling from your cheek. No. Nonono. This had not been his intention. Shit.

The room fell silent and Bucky took a deep breath. He was just angry at himself. Angry that he was incapable of connecting with people. Angry that he upset you by being clingy once he found the one person he could attach himself to.

“Alright stop it!” Another tear spilled from your eyes but something inside him was still not finished.

“Why? Is it making you uncomfortable to hear the truth?” He hadn’t intended to say it, but his mouth just opened and did. Stupid fucking mouth.

“Bucky!” He flinched once you raised your voice. You had never done it at him. Neither of you had ever fought with each other in fact. “Where the hell is this coming from?” Now your tone was softer and Bucky could feel his heart pumping blood through his body again. Yeah... where the hell was this coming from?

Bucky fumbled with the blanket. He didn’t even notice he was crying until a fat hot tear landed on the covers. He felt you shuffle closer again, relieved that he hadn’t scared you off entirely.

“Do you really think you’re broken?” You spoke so carefully, as if he were to break at any second. And honestly, that might have happened.

“It feels that way too often for it not to be true..,” he whispered ashamed. 

“Baby,” You reached out again and this time, he allowed it, needing your touch more than ever before. You pulled him into your chest, your arms encasing him as he slumped against your frame - finally exhaling, relaxing, and falling into your embrace. “Everyone feels like this from time to time. You don’t have to always be happy and confident to be normal or okay.”

Your soothing voice traveled through his exhausted haze, tears still falling from his eyes. "But it feels like I get stuck in my sorrow.”

“That is normal. I have those days, too. Nat has them, Steve does too.”

Bucky moved to look up at you, a silent request for confirmation in his stare, but this time, he felt, you understood. You probably always had.

“It’s true, babe.” Your body rocked softly and it soothed Bucky further into your soft chest. He felt the tension draining from his body, the sleeplessness replacing it in every inch of him.

“Please, talk to me when you feel like this again. I can help you. I want to help you.”

“Thank you.” He smiled weakly. How could he have ever thought you would neglect him? It was stupid, just as stupid as that attempt of his to give you more space.

“Not for this, Bucky.” You kissed his forehead, ultimately lulling Bucky into his well-deserved sleep - with a calm mind, and the promise to never let his insecurities get the better of him again. 

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[seaweedrain]

I wanna go off about Pentious and Cherri because I adore them

I saw a post in the cherrisnake tag explaining how the whole night club scene felt a little OOC, and I totally agreed! Until I thought... Is it? I agree with the person who wrote the post (here is link to post) that Pentious seems like the kind of dude who would be asking for her fathers permission to court her! I've honestly wanted to write fanfics just like this back when the pilot came out, he really does give off those types of vibes!

I feel like the first few gestures of buying her a drink was him being gentlemanly! But again, like the person who wrote that post said, the mans probably got a lil buzzed, lettin the drinks talk as he moved forward with his Rule Of 3 comedy moment! Again, I fully agree haha! However, I do think another side of his personality was showing during this moment!

Sir Pentious has a desire to be accepted by those he admires! He wants the V's to see him, he wants other Overlords to notice him and his work! He will act like them if necessary! He's hip and cool! Or at least he really thinks he is! That club was Cherris scene! He was invited out by her! He had to act like her! Right??? That would impress her, RIGHT?! Asking her to do things with him that didn't seem... like him? She'd like that, right? That's what she does! She brought him there, after all (only because Charlie told her to, but he never thought he'd make it this far!)

After talking with Charlie in those last few episodes (in the background), the girl probably gave him sound advice to be himself as he tried to confess to Cherri. Being like Cherri didn't work with flirting with her (altho I personally, think she thinks he's a cute silly), so he might as well be himself. Someone who isn't trying to fight with her and "enemies/arch rivals". As he fumbles and runs away, it does look like she's a little sad he didn't confess, although I've seen a few argue that she just looked confused. Even after Angel told her she could hit that, in my personal opinion there was a hint of sadness.

In the fun facts, it says Sir Pentious died in the 19th century. I know he's an inventor, but the fact that he wears a generals outfit makes me wonder if that was him just... Being a silly lil guy thinking back to his time where he could have been high up in the ranks for war, or if he actually was! How much has he been through in life? Was he unable to confess his love before dying? I went to the wiki and couldn't find any information, although even if there were, I'm not sure how much I'd trust from wiki or how much of the info might be considered outdated now that the show is actually out!

The idea that he knew he was risking his after life, about to double die, he didn't want regrets about confessing to Cherri, especially after failing to the night before. Whether he had a similar experience in the living life or not, I do adore that Sir Pentious was able to be himself at least somewhat. Cherri was clearly charmed.

I do see him as a character that would try to court her over time, something I could DEF write a slow burn about! But I do love that he was written as someone who WANTED to get these feelings off his chest! Maybe if he could have, then he could have woo'd her like a proper gentleman! Maybe if we had a longer season, we could have seen more of that. His different attempts, trying to act like others thinking that'd impress her. Not fully aware that being himself was actually the answer all along. Yes, being himself was in a 'life' or death situation and it PROBABLY wasn't exactly how he could have wanted it to go down, but he was nonetheless, able to confess. Not pretending to be someone he wasn't. Yes, he agreed he was out of his mind, but he was being crazy for sacrificing himself! There wasn't time to think, he just had to do. There wouldn't be regrets. He was doing this for his friends, for her, in hopes to keep them safe or buy time.

So I do wish he took his time with her. Was able to flirt, court, and awkwardly confess at his own rate (figuring out he didn't have to pretend he was just like her and could do everything she did, fumbling it lmao) I could see how someone could think this was a ship pushed too quickly and out of the blue- maybe if there was more time in the season it wouldn't have seemed that way! I'm biased, I've been shipping them since the pilot! However, with the screen time they did get, I think it was written well!

And who knows?! There are theories he will lose his memory now that he's in Heaven, he will have lost his memory (which would be VERY sad, but I also adore the drama). I've seen posts where Charlie goes up again or Emily reaches out and they find out Pentious is there! I wouldn't be surprised if Emily remembered The Rizz Master who failed to flirt with a girl 3 times in one night at a club. I do fear Sera is going to do something to him, prevent him from doing anything as the news sinners can come to Heaven shouldn't be known or smth idk... But, I like the opportunities for Cherri and Sir Pentious that they may have in the future!

For all Cherri knows, right now Sir Pentious is double dead! The shipping possibilities are endless with him now being in Heaven! I saw a cute post about them writing letters and sending them to each other via Charlie. I could see Pentious writing this long, elegant letter with a reply of "LMAO XD RAWR" and him LOVING IT!

I'd love to know others thoughts, I just wanted to ramble about them.

[onlyhereforthestories]

Maybe an Alexia ficlet around distance and how they deal with upset or miscommunication. Love your writing

First one here you go! This one was a little hard to write but I hope it shows that sometimes a bit of space and patience helps no matter how hard that is sometimes.

Loving someone is hard, like really hard. But it is also one of the best feelings in the world. They are the person that you can’t wait to talk to when you wake up and the last thought on your mind before you fall asleep. They cheer you up when you are down and make the small battles worth every second. That doesn’t mean it isn’t still so, so hard some days.

Today was one of those days. You and Alexia were currently on opposite sides of the world and had been for the last 10 months, this was due to the fact that Valto had decided that you needed to play amongst the rest of your national teammates during the season before the world cup. When you woke up this morning you knew something was wrong, Alexia would have normally sent you a message to wake up to but there wasn’t one and it was already past midday for her.

She was still the first person you wanted to text once awake so you did it anyway, she was always one to say to text however many times you wanted and she’d always reply when she could. After sending the text you hoped into the shower and tried not to let your mind spin with possibilities, which you will say was pretty unsuccessful. By the time your shower was done you were pretty sure you had gone over the last week of conversations with the woman you loved with everything you had in you and you had decided at least five things you probably said wrong.

Checking your phone again to see still no message did nothing for your aching heart, in fact it just made you sad. You wished nothing more than to be able to go see her and make whatever it was you had done wrong right but that wasn’t possible, she was miles and miles away. Out of your reach.

Instead you text, that was all you could do was text. You sent a message to ask if you had done something wrong and what it was if so, so you could put it right but all you got was a simple have a good day message. As sure sign that she didn’t want to talk to you, which broke your already breaking heart. Whatever you had done was bad enough that she didn’t even want to interact with you and now all you could think about was the possibility of her ending it.

Love is a funny thing and when you get to experience it, it changes you. You learn to adapt your own self a little bit in order to account for this other person in your life, a whole different personality that won’t always run smoothly with yours and that is what you were trying to do here.

Alexia sometimes found it hard to process things to do with feelings and you and you knew that when she wanted to be left alone you had to try your best to give her that space even though it hurt you a little. Space that sometimes made your head spin and spiral with all the bad endings that you were confident weren’t going to happen, but that didn’t stop your head from thinking them.

The morning of silence turned into an afternoon and then you knew she would have gone to bed so you were in for a silent night. You processed what you could and tried to sleep as best you could with the worry.

The next morning you woke up to a text asking for a little more time but to tell you she was okay and just needed some space. It was always something she promised to do if these days happened because she knew youd be worrying if not so you appreciated her a lot for that. You left her alone for the day no matter how many times she came into your mind, no matter how many things happened that you wanted to tell her, she deserved the space she wished for from you.

You went to bed that night with a sad calm that you always got to on the second night, the realty of the situation always hit and you found it hard to not shut off from the world. Shutting off was part of you coping mechanism when it came to the love of your life freezing you out.

All that went away the next morning when you woke up to see her name on your phone. Good morning pretty girl, I had dinner last night and all I could think about was trying some of your cooking. I hope you slept well.

Rough times happen and you knew that you would both have a conversation about what made her need some space, what you need to work on and how you are going to do that but at the end of the day as long as she came back to you that’s all that matters.

[yelenasdiary]

Read this or don't, that's completely fine. I was going to explain everything in a reply to an ask that I was sent but an anon that has nothing to do with this, they are lovely! I just think a post on its own is more appropriate.

Below the cut I warn you that topics like, Sexual Assault, Physical & Mental abuse are spoken about. Please do not bother to read this if you're not comfortable. I literally do not expect anybody to read this, I am simply posting this because of how I am feeling towards the asks I received before I went to bed last night.

I just want to say that I've been open about certain things in my life on here and that is simply because I want my blog to welcome everybody (within reason). I want those who unfortunately have been through similar stuff to feel seen, heard and know you are loved! I want those who feel alone to know that you're never alone, I am here for you, my blog is here for you.

This isn't the first time I have received asks about my sexual experiences. A month or two ago I received a spam of asks that I never answered because of how disturbing and outright disgusting they were. Now, after last night, I feel that I need post this. I am not asking for anything in return, I just want to make that clear. All I want is for people to understand the hurt I am currently feeling.

I've always been open on here about the fact that I am a virgin. It's nothing that I feel ashamed about, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I know there are plenty of people like myself who are also virgins. I wish there were more people who are open about being a virgin, if people can be so open about the fact they aren't a virgin, why can't we be open about the fact we are?

So when this anon asked if I was a virgin, I was honest and said yes. My mind was already racing with "oh god, what's next?" and I was just hoping whoever they are was jus being curious. But instead, I feel like they've made me ashamed of the fact I am a virgin, 25 and write smut.

TW; SA, Physical & Mental Abuse Mentioned -

A few of you would already know that unfortunately yes, I am a victim of sexual assault. I was a child and it was something that happened daily for a couple of years. Due to this, I have trauma, PTSD, depression and anxiety. I grew up with little knowledge on the basics of sex because of how triggering it was for me. I couldn't sit in on sexual education classes, I couldn't joke around about penis's with my friends let along look at one. For so long, I genuinely believed what happened to me was normal. I was 12 when I realised it wasn't.

It took me years to even be okay with the topic of sex, to see it in movies or even think of it. My sexuality wasn't something I always questioned, I had a big crush on Bieber during my teen years and there were a few other male celebrities that I found rather attractive, it wasn't until I was 17 that I saw women in a different way and tbh, the feeling I got from thinking about myself in a relationship with a woman was a lot more comforting then it was to thinking of myself with a male.

Did my abuse make me bisexual? Maybe. I don't know. I don't really care. I like women a lot more than I like men, I feel more comfortable talking to women than I do men.

Did my abuse stop me from having 'normal' teenage experiences? Yes. I have never physically been with anybody, I have never kissed anybody nor have I ever been on a date. Is that sad? maybe to some, to me? No.

I have little to no trust in males. Given that my abuser also physically abused me for such little things and mentally, I don't know what it feels like to not have the thoughts I do about myself. This person has ruined so much of my life and has had control over what I do because of the trauma they caused me.

But all that aside for a moment, I am still a human. I am a woman who still feels things. I am learning every day of new things. I have done plenty of research for the things I felt I missed out on in school. I have a best friend who is so fucking patient and understanding with me that he will explain things to me if needed.

Writing & reading smut over the last year has been really good for me. I don't mean that in a weird way, I mean that in a way it has helped me explore things I didn't know were a thing, it has helped me grow more comfortable with sex and that sex is a normal thing. Don't worry, I know what is written in smut is purely fiction, I know what happens in porn isn't real. I am not stupid.

But I can't sit here and say that smut has been really helpful. Some of you might not understand that and that's okay. But I have come a long way with being comfortable and finally feeling like I can be open about things I enjoy.

Back to this anon.

Yes, I am 25 and never had sex. I have never voluntarily sucked a guy off. i have never voluntarily slept with a male, touched a male or seen a males body. Why any of that is important to you makes no sense to me. You have brought back things that I wish to not think about. You have made me feel triggered and as though I shouldn't be writing such topics because of my lack of experience. You had no consideration whats so ever and I believe found it rather funny.

I am feeling so many feelings and having thoughts that I wish to express but I know you'll most likely see it has a sob story and make matters worse. What I do hope though is that if you have read this that you understand that your words and actions hurt. I am not weak for telling you this, I am not weak for not having any sexual experience, I am not weak for asking you to understand that your thoughtless actions were not called for.

I do not need to have sex to know what I am doing. I do not need to have sex with a cis male to know how to write about dicks. I do not need you to make me feel ashamed of this either.

This is already such a long post and I don't even expect anybody to still be reading this but if you are, please, please remember to always be kind! spread love, support and happiness. You honest have no idea what your words and actions can do to somebody. Be aware and be considerate, you would never want your closest friends to feel that way I am currently feeling.

I am sending love to everybody, if you ever need a friend to talk too my DMS//asks are always open. I will listen and be whoever it is you need 💜

[fatuismooches]

Ohhh my gaddd I've just read one of your ask and something just came in my mind like a freaking meteor. So in one of your fanfic where you mention that we might not remember a man with a big hat but surely he did. What if we are the reason why Scaramouche trusted dottore in the first place (sorry I don't know a lot about Scaramouche lore 😭😭😭) like what if Scaramouche saw us sleeping in a hidden room of Dottore's palace, he's just wandering until he stumble at the door where Dottore always go often which is weird because as far as he know Dottore never spend his time on anything other than his experiment and he has an entire basement(or palace even) to have an another one 3 floor above his main lab, so to answer his question he open the door and there he saw a body of someone in a bed like contraption that has some strange enchantment (this enchantment helps your body to not rot or age as the time past, it will be a bother some if it's some preserving liquid because Dottores likes to cuddle with your sleeping body as a stress relieved) he looked at the entire room and he sees all the picture of you and Dottore when you both are still in the akademiya, he saw how Dottore's eyes have become warmer and softer until he stumble to the last picture, this is the last picture he took before you fall to a long coma, he look at you with care and sadness and he knew damn well what the eye of a wishing, wanting man looks like and he can see it clearly in the akademiya Dottore' eyes. He looks more in the room stumbling into some trinkets, letters, paintings, poetry and different instruments that he's sure damn well that it didn't belong to Dottore judging with the clean writing and heart doodles. He looked more until he heard Dottore opening the door Both were shocked to see each other in this place, a lot of confronting and Dottore being angry and frustrated to see a coworker experiment being at the same room with his beloved the love of his life, his only life, the only humanity inside of him, his obsession, his beloved, did I say love of his life? But Scaramouche's curiosity is stronger and he asked him who's this human and he's shocked, because Dottore' speaks so fondly about you, for the very first time he saw an actual emotion in Dottore's word, it's very weird but at the same time it solidifies the trust he wants to give to Dottore because despite everything he is, he is still a human~♡

YES I THINK ABOUT THIS TOO EXCEPT MY INTERPRETATION IS A BIT DIFFERENT...

Human emotions are the thing Scaramouche believes to be his downfall, his weakness that he despises. And he knows for a fact Dottore was the same way, lacking obvious empathy for his test subjects and people in general, Scara included. In fact, Dottore was worse than him, at least he still held a certain fondness for kids and the elderly... Dottore on the other hand did not have anything of the sort. So for him to find out Dottore had a lover... comes as a shock to him. Though I doubt Scara would be able to find your room (Dot keeps that highly guarded and shi 😭) he might overhear some murmurs of your name from the segments. And while normally he wouldn't care at all... they don't speak of you as if you're a test subject. Scaramouche knows well very, after all, of their tone with their... experiments. However if he did happen to find you or evidence of you, he'd be met with a sharp, cutting tone and no information whatsoever. Dottore wouldn't let a mere experiment pry into his personal affairs.

If you happen to wake up while he's still in the Fatui, he really wouldn't understand Dottore's obsession with you. You are nothing special. You're really just another mere human, trying to fight the fate of mortality that you were born with. No particular outstanding qualities... he doesn't understand what Dottore sees in you. The moment Scaramouche walked into the lab and he wasn't immediately harassed by one of the clones, he knew something was up. Usually, they had already prepared everything so that they could do those... "experiments" torture on him. Yet there wasn't any of that today. Because, as he found out, there was another guest in the lab of far more importance. You had woken up. Usually the segments would be scattered throughout the lab, but in this rare occurrence, they were all practically crowding you. You're the first one to notice the puppet, and you oh so casually tug on one of the segment's sleeves to alert him. He's met with the entirely disinterested expressions of the clones and "you are not needed now." Scara scoffs and leaves, but the sight leaves questions in his mind that he doesn't necessarily need answers to... but it's something to ponder.

After all of that, I still don't think he'd trust you or Dottore one bit. He doesn't trust anyone in general for that matter. You might be just as bad as the Doctor... he doesn't know, because there is no opportunity to talk to you as you are never alone. And Dottore is a whole other person normally. But Scara does think, human emotions are truly one of the worse things there are, for even the Doctor is affected by them... which may lead to his downfall, one day.

[astrxq]

can you write more mindy meeks martin fluff please!! i loved ur playing cupid fluff, and i was just wondering if you could do a part two, or maybe just another story with mindy fluff! :)

lost and found

mindy meeks x fem!reader

words: 1.2k

Chad had always been the romantic one; he had a deep love for romantic comedies. When they were younger, on movie nights, he would be the first to suggest watching a tooth-rotting romance. But Mindy... Mindy was different. She hated romance movies, always finding them unrealistic. Maybe because, deep down, she knew she related to them. Her first love was when she was 16, an unrequited and painful memory for her.

She wouldn't admit it to Chad if he asked, because why would he ask? They hadn't seen each other since they were 18, and it's not like they were particularly close friends. But now, at 19, your username was always at the top of Mindy's recent searches. Sometimes she couldn't stop herself from checking on you, seeing what was going on in your life.

Mindy's curiosity about your life was a guilty pleasure she indulged in secretly. She often found herself scrolling through your social media profiles, trying to piece together the fragments of your life since you were both teenagers. The irony wasn't lost on her — disliking romance yet finding herself drawn to the romance of your experiences, even from a distance. It was her little secret, a habit she kept hidden from all her friends, because it had been years since you unintentionally broke her heart.

So, when Chad initiated the topic of first loves because of his roommate going through a breakup, she felt the need to zone out, not to listen, because she related to what her brother was saying. "You can never really forget your first love, Ethan, but you'll move on, you'll be fine," he reassured. The curly-haired boy nodded along, his eyes distant as he stared down at his hands, lost in his own thoughts. Mindy's heart raced, and she tried her best to feign interest in the conversation, all the while wondering if Chad would ever bring up her own first crush again. After all, the past had a funny way of resurfacing at the most unexpected moments.

She felt Tara elbow her arm slightly, urging her to say something to the sad boy sitting across from her with Chad's arm draped over his shoulders in comfort. Mindy shrugged, not knowing how to contribute to the situation. She'd never really liked Ethan, always thinking there was something off about him.

"Say something," Tara whispered, eyeing Ethan as he rubbed his eye with the back of his hand, wiping away the single tear that had fallen. Mindy sighed, "I know things might seem tough right now, but Chad's right. You'll be fine, and you'll move on."

Lies.

She was lying to him, and he could tell. He looked at her as if he knew, as if he could read her like an open book. And suddenly, Mindy felt very small under Ethan's sad gaze. "Thanks, guys," he muttered, going back to staring down at his hands sadly. Mindy couldn't help but let out a shaky breath, relating too much to the friend she disliked.

She couldn't really sleep that night; her mind was clouded by the worry of never moving on. The digital traces of your life, the posts, the photos, they all served as constant reminders of something she wished she could forget. Tara groaned in frustration as Mindy tossed around again, "Go to sleep," she mumbled. "Sorry, roomie," Mindy whispered, finally standing from her bed. "I'm going on a walk." Tara hummed, too tired to listen, and falling back asleep. Mindy slipped out of her room and into the cool night air. She walked around the quiet streets for a while, not really knowing where she was going. Eventually, she found herself standing at a park bench, staring out at the stillness of an empty park. She looked down at her phone and sighed as she sat back in defeat.

"Mindy Meeks?"

She had to be imagining it. She had to be. The second your voice hit her ears, she sat up, looking at the figure standing a few feet away. It was you. You stood there, a faint smile on your face as you gazed at her. Only a year had passed, and you still looked the same, a familiar mix of comfort and unease settling within her.

"Oh my god! It's been so long," you chirped, taking a few steps closer to where Mindy sat. She managed a nervous smile, "Yeah, it really has," she replied, her voice a tad shaky.

You eyed the empty space next to her, “What are you doing in New York?” you asked, nervously fixing the strap of the bag on your shoulder. You’d always noticed Mindy in school, but the two of you had never really crossed paths beyond that; you admired her from afar.

Mindy cleared her throat, trying to steady her voice as she replied, "I'm here for college. Just moved here a little while ago."

“Oh, that’s so nice,” you cooed and smiled at her, so warm that Mindy felt like she was melting under your gaze. “Are you studying here too?” You shook your head, “Gap year, I have no idea what to do yet. I’m working just down the street.”

Mindy nodded, her heart racing as she processed the unexpected encounter. "That's cool," she managed to say, her mind racing to keep up with the conversation as she tried not to think too much about the fact that you looked even prettier.

You glanced around the park and then back at Mindy, a hint of curiosity in your eyes. “Am I... I’m sorry, are you waiting on somebody?”

Mindy's heart skipped a beat at your question, her mind racing for an answer. "Oh, no, I was just... taking a breather," she stammered, feeling her cheeks heat up slightly.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” you made a move to step away, kind of feeling like you intruded on her alone time. “We could catch up some other time? If you want.” You raised your eyebrows in hope, silently wishing for her to say yes, to finally let yourself feel for her. “Coffee?” you asked.

Mindy nodded, “Coffee sounds nice.” You breathed out a smile in delight. “Great! How about tomorrow afternoon? There's this cozy little café I know just a few blocks from here."

Mindy nodded, her heart pounding in her chest. "Tomorrow sounds perfect." She realized she was smiling too, unable to suppress her genuine happiness at the thought of seeing you again. You hummed, pushing your lips together in a tight smile as you prepared for your next question.

“It’s a date?”

"Yeah, it's a date," she managed to reply, her voice tinged with a shy smile. "I'll see you tomorrow then," you said, your own smile widening as you turned to leave. Mindy watched you walk away, her face starting to hurt from smiling so hard. Tara muttered a “shut up” as Mindy closed the front door to their dorm, and she shook fully awake once Mindy pulled the blanket off of her body. “Hey!”

“I have a date.”

“Huh?” Tara rubbed her eyes, trying to get used to the dim light of the hallway that Mindy had turned on

 just seconds before. “You just ask strangers on dates at... 4 am?”

Mindy pressed her lips together, motioning for her friend to scoot over and give her room to sit on the bed; Tara obliged. “It’s with Y/N.”

“What?!” Tara grinned, “Min, that’s so good!” She made a move to jump up and down excitedly. “She’s in New York? How did this even happen?” Tara asked as many questions as possible in less than a minute, making Mindy laugh as her friend shared the same excitement as her. “Just... go back to sleep, I’ll tell you in the morning.”

“Oh my god, why did you even wake me up then?” she groaned.

A few minutes passed, and Tara dramatically sighed out loud. “I can’t sleep now, can’t you just tell me?”

"Boo fucking hoo, Tara."

The excitement mixed with a hint of anxiety had Mindy’s stomach in knots. As she walked to the café, her thoughts were a whirlwind of what-ifs and hopes. She arrived a little early, finding a cozy corner table to sit at to wait for you, and she couldn't stop smiling, shying away when she saw her friends sitting at a table a bit far, pretending not to know what she was there for.

Minutes later, the door chimed, and there you were, entering the café with that same warm smile that made Mindy lose her mind for so long. Your eyes met hers, and her heart fluttered as you made your way over to her table.

"Hey," you said softly, your smile widening as you pulled out the chair across from her and took a seat. “You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do this,” you admitted. “I thought about texting you so many times, but after… well, you know. I didn’t know if it was the right time.” Mindy felt like her chest was going to explode at your words, realizing that maybe you’d wanted her just as much as she wanted you, that maybe her heartbreak was just in her head.

“I understand,” she said. She’d gotten too many texts after the stabbings, most of them still sitting unanswered in her inbox due to her being too overwhelmed to text back at the time. “I don’t really talk to anyone from school now. Well, aside from Tara and Chad.”

"Did all of you move here together?”

“Figured we should stick together,” Mindy added, biting the inside of her lip. “So, how have you been?” you asked, your eyes locked onto hers, the genuine interest in your gaze making her heart race.

"Pretty good," Mindy replied, trying to maintain her composure despite the fluttering in her chest. "College has its ups and downs, but I'm managing."

You chuckled softly, leaning back in your chair. "Gap year isn't as glamorous as it sounds. Work has me going to bed at nine." Mindy joined in on your giggle, knowing that college had also changed her sleep schedule. “Oh, I forgot to ask! What are you majoring in?”

“Film making, but I’m not sure if I wanna dedicate my life to it yet? I have to think about it.”

“Ah, you and your films,” you sighed, giving her a smile, “I remember my friends showing me that homemade one you made with Tara in seventh grade.”

“Oh! Don’t even mention it,” she cringed. “We even sent it to some producers we found online. I wouldn’t be surprised if they burned their laptops down after watching it; it was horrible.”

You laughed, thinking back to Tara’s ketchup-covered shirt and how, even though it was supposed to be a horror movie, you could hear Mindy’s giggles from behind the old phone camera. “Everyone at school loved it,” you admitted, “and it was adorable. I've always admired your creativity.”

Mindy felt like her chest was about to explode, and from the corner of her eye, she could see Chad giving her a smile and nodding at her, pretending to know what you two were talking about. "Well, I think I've improved a bit since then," she said, laughing softly.

You leaned forward, elbows on the table and a grin plastered on your face as you listened to Mindy, trying your hardest not to stare too much. “You could show me someday?” you suggested. Mindy nodded quickly before taking a long sip of her cup in nervousness. “Definitely, yeah. I could show you now if you want?”

“What? Like… in your dorm room?” Her offer caught you off guard, and you chuckled nervously. "Uh, sure, if you're up for it. I'd love to see your work." The prospect of spending more time with her excited you, even if it was just watching a film.

Without hesitation, Mindy stood from her chair and gave you another one of her smiles, signaling for you to stand up too. She reached for your hand the second you were next to her, making both of your chests feel heavier.

You let her practically drag you to the building, her being only two steps ahead of you as she excitedly showed you the way. Still holding onto your hand, she reached for the keys. You watched as she struggled to pick them into the lock, her excitement making her hands tremble. "Here we are," she said, finally managing to unlock the door and swing it open, revealing a modestly decorated dorm room.

As you stepped inside, the familiarity of the environment made you feel oddly comfortable. Mindy's room was neat and cozy, filled with posters of movies and a scattering of books across a small desk. You glanced around, taking in the intimate details that gave you a glimpse into her life.

"Make yourself at home, mi casa es tu casa," Mindy said, still holding your hand as she gestured toward the small seating area with a couch and a couple of bean bags. She released your hand with a soft smile before walking over to her desk and rifling through a pile of DVDs.

You settled onto the couch, taking in the surroundings as your heart raced with the proximity to her. Everything was color-coded; Tara’s side of the room was more purple-ish, with lilac pillows on the bed and a lavender throw blanket, while Mindy's side leaned towards warm shades of yellow and orange. There was a picture frame on the small table next to the couch. Mindy’s grin caught your attention, and you took your chance to give into your curiosity and looked at her friends. Chad had his arm around Tara’s much smaller frame, his mouth half curved into a smile while also kissing her head.

"I hope you're not expecting a masterpiece," she chuckled, sinking into the couch.

She held three DVDs in her hands, each with a different title scribbled on it with a black marker. You scooted closer to her, giving her a small smile, “I’m sure they’re great.”

You watched as Mindy moved to dim the lights and worked the DVD into the TV. “How come you use DVDs?” you asked.

“It's a bit nostalgic, I guess," Mindy replied as she settled back onto the couch. "Plus, I have a soft spot for physical copies.”

She pressed play before moving to sit down next to you, a redhead showing up on the screen.

 “That’s Quinn; she’s one of my friends,” she said.

As the film played, you found yourself drawn into the story, occasionally stealing glances at Mindy. She seemed just as captivated by her own creation, her eyes occasionally lighting up with pride at certain scenes. Her hand itched to hold yours, moving very slowly towards you.

Your hands finally brushed against each other on the couch. Mindy's heart raced at the touch, and she glanced at you with a shy smile. You looked back at her, your fingers brushing against hers once more, and this time, neither of you pulled away.

As the film’s credits came on the screen, the room was filled with a comfortable silence. Mindy turned to you, her eyes locking onto yours, and she felt a mixture of nervousness and excitement swirling within her. "So, what did you think?" she asked, her voice soft and hopeful.

You turned to her, your gaze unwavering. "I loved it," you admitted, "you're really talented, Mindy."

Her heart soared at your words, a rush of happiness flooding her. "Thank you," she whispered, a bashful smile playing on her lips.

Her hand reached out and gently intertwined your fingers with hers, a simple touch that held so much meaning.

Your breath caught in your throat at the intimacy of the gesture. You looked into her eyes, your heart pounding as you realized the connection you longed for was reciprocated.

The room seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in your own little world. You hesitated, thinking that maybe it was too early to make a move, but you took your chance and leaned in, closing the distance between you. Mindy's heart raced even faster. Your lips met in a soft, hesitant kiss, filled with the weight of years of unspoken emotions.

It was a gentle exploration, a tender acknowledgment of the feelings that had lingered beneath the surface for so long. And as you pulled away, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips, Mindy felt a warmth spreading through her chest.

“Maybe… maybe we should take things slow,” you suggested, pushing your lips together. Mindy chuckled.

“That sounds like a good idea," Mindy replied, her fingers still intertwined with yours. "I've waited this long; I can definitely be patient…”

“… We can still kiss, right? Cause I’d really like that. Like a lot.”

A laugh made its way out of you as you squeezed her hand. “Yeah, yeah.”

Mindy's heart fluttered with happiness at your words, and she leaned in for another sweet kiss, sealing your unspoken agreement to take things slow.

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

If you could rewrite the paw patrol movie and give more characters screen time and make it as in where Chase doesn't fully get over his fears how would you all do it

Despite being a great movie YOU GET IT, YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP WITH THAT MOVIE, THANKS FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY, I love writing stuff so I just hope it'll be to your liking too XD

Under the cut for more than obvious reasons- very VEEEERY LONG post ahead. Don't say I didn't warn you. Let's GO.

There's not many things I'd change by the beginning of the movie to be honest. Even the short talk Ryder had with Chase to convince him to go with them to Adventure City was okay enough for me. Plus it shows just how much Chase puts his trust in Ryder, above his fears and trauma, which is a VERY IMPORTANT POINT later down the road. Also, we did get to see Chase was uncomfortable upon arrival, which is important as well. Slowly, it gave way to curiosity and wonder, thanks to seeing their new headquarters. I would ignore my fears too if it meant I'd get to go into such a cool place and be allowed to call it my home far from home.

The things I would possibly change... Maybe Mayor Humdinger. There was something REALLY OFF about him in this movie. I mean, it's not THAT MUCH DIFFERENT from the show, but I feel he went a bit crazier than usual on his ideas. I can't put my finger on it... He seemed more like a bad guy for the sake of being evil, and not like someone who came from a sad town and just wishes for recognition and praise.

Now there are four main points about the pups I'd probably have worked a bit differently: Chase, Marshall, Zuma and Skye.

First, let's go about Chase.

I agree his panic attacks were greatly addressed and handled. There was no exaggeration, there was no "let's make it seem way bigger/impressive than it is" kind of thing. Some shows or movies, when going about a character panicking, like to make it look SO DEEP, with so many thoughts crossing their mind, and so many scenarios, and things looking more threatening or bigger and-- most times it's nowhere near like that at all. That would be more like an anxiety attack, actually. For panic attacks, there's nearly no thoughts at all, we don't process what's happening. It can be a little different for everyone, given we're all not the same people, but I can say by personal experience, when I had panic attacks, I literally BLANKED. All I can remember is my body tensing so hard I was unable to move, so I just cowered in my chair, my eyes were darting everywhere totally unable to focus and both my head and my chest felt like they could explode any second. I stayed like that until I could hear my father talking to me and taking me away from the place where I was, taking me back home to my bed. That was almost exactly how they made it in the movie: Chase tensed, froze, was unable to act, and then he cowered away, closing his eyes and hyperventilating until he heard Skye talking to him and then she took him away from that place.

As for his trauma, though... At the beginning, yes. It was nicely addressed too. From all we've seen in the show, Chase tends to literally blindly follow through with Ryder's orders, no matter what. That pup has in Ryder not only a leader, but also a best friend he would go through hell and beyond for. He would do ANYTHING for Ryder. And so, he puts his trust in Ryder once more and accepts the fate of being taken with them to Adventure City, despite his own wish of not setting a paw in that place ever again in his life. Because he trusts Ryder more than himself. And when he felt his trust was broken, Chase was devastated. We know that was not the case - while Chase felt like Ryder was benching him because he was unable to act (for being scared/a failure), Ryder was actually benching him because he was worried about Chase's mental health. He KNEW Chase was panicking badly, what Chase had to go through in that very city was traumatic, and Ryder KNEW all that. But Chase thought Ryder didn't trust him, so he ran away.

Everything handled pretty okay up to this point. And then, there's the one thing I'd change about Chase in this movie:

Later down the road, they (probably unintentionally/mostly due to the movie timing) made it look like Chase was able to just overcome his trauma with that city with just some small talks- I'm not saying those talks were NOT important, ON THE CONTRARY, they were VERY WELL DONE AS WELL. The issue is just the simple fact that these kinda things don't go away SO FAST. Of course, we needed him to be able to literally jump into action because the movie needed to end XD But still... He didn't need to do that ALONE either.

What I would change is literally THAT. Chase didn't need to go rescue Ryder ALONE, especially when he KNEW he could end up freezing in panic. He's still in Adventure City, he's still pretty much EVEN MORE TRAUMATIZED. He wanted to prove a point, fine. He wanted to prove that he is able, to prove that he is a hero like everyone believes him to be. He wanted to prove he CAN BE TRUSTED. But he didn't need to do the rescue ALONE to prove that.

Personally, I think the scene when Chase rescues Ryder could/would have gone differently if the other pups would have joined him - for example, we probably wouldn't have that dramatic leap of faith, sure. That works when the character is alone or carrying someone else. Not in a group. But can you imagine if Chase's first thing was to contact the other pups to let them know the tower collapsed with Ryder still inside it? They all would go there and they would work TOGETHER as the team they are, to reach for Ryder, rescue him and successfully bring him back down to ground level, safe and sound. And they would all support Chase as they do so. Chase doesn't need to deal with his trauma alone, he doesn't need to fight his fears alone. He's got his team, his friends, his family with him. In my opinion, they should have worked together to rescue Ryder and the impact of the "you don't need to deal with your fears alone" message would be more special than "overcome your fears on your own".

Now, about Marshall.

I actually liked the fact Marshall was the one taking over whenever Chase was unable to act for one reason or another. It literally makes sense, not because they're close friends/best friends or whatever, it's literally because of their jobs. Cops, firefighters and paramedics (I know he's an EMT, shush, let me generalize the thing here) are the jobs among all the pups' jobs that ARE to deal with crowds, to deal with people more directly during rescues. They're the ones to talk to people, they're the ones to give instructions, ANYWHERE, anytime. They are the authorities there. So, whenever Chase is unavailable, Marshall is the logic choice to take over and I'm glad they did so.

What I would change, would be two small things: I'd give him some time WITH CHASE, and our old fandom beloved main complaint, I'd let his clumsiness show more.

Marshall should have had a talk with Chase at some point- any point at all. The show portrayed these two as best friends in the beginning, they always did things together, be it for work or for play time. Marshall should have been there for Chase too, and I'd do that after that first incident when Marshall had to go put out the fires and make sure Chase wouldn't get burned while he was lowered back to ground level. Y'know when Chase was unable to sleep and went to the main room to look out to the city in the middle of the night? That could have been a good moment for that, maybe right after the song played.

As for Marshall's clumsiness, I don't have much to say. It was badly portrayed, as in he was clumsy in a way that it wasn't HIS clumsy way- any of the other pups could have been put in his place and be just as clumsy. I'd give him at least two scenes where he would "be himself" in a way we'd be like "YEP, that's our Marshall!" I don't have specific ideas right now but I could think of some, given some time.

Surprisingly, I wouldn't change much about Zuma.

When I saw complaints about his lack of screentime in the movie, I honestly thought it would be worse. Like my father commented on my post with his reactions to the movie, to take Zuma - a pup specialized in WATER RESCUES - to a big city, it's SO NOT his "natural habitat". Zuma is literally a fish out of water there. I wasn't expecting him to have any water-related rescue AT ALL, maybe he'd just do a regular ground rescue. To have him go in the sewer/river canal to rescue that car was legit a pleasing surprise for me.

But then, why is he in this post, Lary?

Simple: All of Zuma's moments of "important" screentime in this movie only happened because Liberty was there with him. I feel like he was the one riding on her for screentime, rather than the other way around, which is kinda disturbing as he IS one of the main six and she's a literal newbie there.

Pulling her little cart;

Later when they were being deployed, Liberty was there watching as they all launched and was the most excited to see Zuma's hovercraft being deployed (ngl I'd be as excited as her, seeing a hovercraft up close like that IS AN EXPERIENCE);

And then, they worked together to rescue the family from the car which fell in the water. This last one is important: Zuma wouldn't have been as successful with this rescue if he didn't have someone else to sail his raft down the stream following his sub. And who was it? Liberty. Even with the convenience, they paired those two so both could have screentime at all.

So I'd find another way to give Zuma screentime without relying it on pairing him with Liberty at least once. I'd probably make it happen for the group rescue on Ryder. He could have some moment there, as well as all the others.

And last but not least, there's something about Skye that bothered me a bit.

It's not about her character or anything like that- she was alright for the entire movie, really. The one thing that bothered me wasn't her, but something that happened WITH/BECAUSE OF her. Namely, the clouds dispersing instantly after she dive-bombed the shit out of that cloud-sucker machine.

I'm sorry but they spent the whole movie building up the tension of that machine getting too stuffed with clouds, the density going nuts, and then the machine releases the clouds creating a huge storm... Only for all of them to magically DISAPPEAR once the machine is no more? They were already OUTSIDE of the machine. Maybe the storm itself would stop, nice, but that thing was literally a high pressure pan ready to explode and Skye did just that. She exploded the high pressure pan. It should've released ALL THE CLOUDS, maybe the air displacement would PUSH THEM all over and beyond the city, and only then the winds would take them away, but that wouldn't happen instantly. For fucks sake Skye literally exploded a ticking high pressure bomb LMAO let it have SOME effects! Give us some sky spectacle of clouds going all over, being pushed away and only then slowly opening up the sky once more.

So, yeah, these are the things I'd change in the first Paw Patrol movie. Nothing too drastic really, just small but important details, the only BIG change would be how Chase got to deal with his trauma in the end.

Whether he and/or Ryder like it or not, that city will ALWAYS bring Chase the memories of the worst times of his life - being abandoned as a baby, all alone, later also the memories of his panic attacks and the memories of the panic he must've felt once he saw the tower collapsing knowing Ryder was still in there - even if it ALSO brings now the memories of the best thing that ever happened to him: Being found and rescued by Ryder. We could've added now the good memory of Chase finding out he's not alone with his fears, finding out he doesn't have to suffer alone, finding out his family will always back him up no matter what, just like Ryder said, that's why they're a team, to support and back each others up in their times of need.

I swear it took me A WHOLE DAY typing this (in between teaching classes). You guys love to make me work my brain out, huh? Hope you'll like it, these are my points of view in this whole thing, my PERSONAL ideas. If you have different ideas, NICE! If you agree with mine, NICE TOO! Everyone thinks differently and let's go XD I need some food now, need to go make my dinner after teaching this night's class, see ya XD

[treason-and-plot]

REPLIES TO SAFFY LAMBASTING LIAM

@windermeresimblr

Wow! There's Saffy's backbone.

Yeah she's not known for holding back!

@drudragonrose

She's with a boy her own age that she actually likes. Be gone worm!

@ivorycrayon

Man, you write shades of grey so well. It’s hard to root for anybody, but it’s also hard to condemn anybody completely because all your characters’ actions are way too complex. “He’s wrong but..” “She shouldn’t have to deal with this but..” I could use your characters if I ever taught ethics class 😂 (except for Anita, that is, I always struggle to find any redeeming qualities in that lady :P)

Thank you so much Ash! I love writing morally grey characters who have questionable (but hopefully relatable) motives so it's extremely heartening to read your comment. And I love how steadfast you've always been in your opinion of Anita, lol!

@keoni-chan

I don't like this one bit. I hope Liam's brand new backbone doesn't evolve into an "if I can't have you..."-situation 😱

who knows what might have happened if fate hadn't intervened....

@dresdendarlin

Oooh it’s his snapping moment. He’s gonna do something drastic and crazier next.

@batsheba

Ok, now let's see if he, the creep Liam, can process this information?! Whatever happens I hope Saffy will be ok... I'm worried Liam will do something utterly stupid and potentially dangerous.

@oasislandingresident

Ooooh shit's about to go down!!! 🍿

@kimmiessimmies

I'm with @batsheba, this is not going to go down well with Liam...

@wannabecatwriter

Be careful, Saffron. He's in a weird mindstate now.

@bool-prop

Oh no. He's going to snap.

@muses-circle

🤦

@muses-circle

Liam will either have a meltdown right there, in the parking lot, or he'll wait until he's in the middle of class and doing something worse. I'm worried about what his breaking point will look like.

@muses-circle

And Saffron, men DO leave their wives. It's call divorce, honey. Life isn't as black and white as you think.

I didn't write Saffy's speech very well...what she was trying to say was that it's a well-known fact that married men never leave their wives for their side-pieces! She was actually quite enraged that Liam turned out to be the statistical anomaly, lol. That was the last thing she wanted to happen!

@echoweaver

Woo. Saffron's right, but wow she's still got so much growing up to do. OTOH, Liam seemed to be with her in large part because she verbally abused him. It's such a messed up puppy.

Yeah, he seems to derive a perverse satisfaction from being the victim and indulging in self-defeating behaviour. It's also not an accident that the two women in his life routinely humiliate and criticise him.😬

@sweetnovember77

Saffy's words can devastate ANYONE with strong emotions toward another person. It's like a knife to the heart.

Yeah, Saffy can be very acid-tongued. He probably deserved the wake up call but Saffy can count herself very lucky he didn't snap or do something as drastic as Stephanie.

@anamoon63

😮 This is not going to end well. I wish Saffy had been a little more diplomatic. 😔

It definitely did not end well, but fortunately for Saffy she was not the one who was impacted the most! I hope at the very least she learns some important life lessons from this whole sorry experience.

@simsaralove

I really hope this will make Mr. Yucky realize he better go live in the Twinbrook swamps and not make him do something stupid and ruin Saffy’s happiness 😭

@justanothersimsblog

I'd tell her to slap him but I think he likes that so... maybe knee him in the balls then lol

lol he is such a pathetic masochist that he would probably enjoy that too!😆

@greywardenconsort

He's a monster thru & thru

A sad, spineless, loser monster.

@streetlites

That's gotta sting. Bwahahah. Also, what did he think she was going to do? Leap into his arms? She was never like that toward him to begin with.

@mysimsloveaffair

They are both better off without each other. Saffy is doing him a favor and he doesn't even know it. SMH

Liam was always doomed by his poor life decisions and victim mentality. I'm also thinking that it was possible he had affairs as a passive-aggressive form of revenge, but didn't count on falling so heavily for Saffy. In any case, I think he got what he deserved.

[bengiyo]

LITBC Part 4 Check In

I’ve been mulling over this book for the entire week, and even as I sit here to get my thoughts down I am still fighting back an intense melancholy that grips me. I know Young. I have loved Young. He is a beloved friend. He is a pain in the ass. He is someone I will always miss. He is someone I wish I could have been closer to. I am still thinking about that balloon.

I think what I’m happiest about is that Young seems to genuinely regret failing with Gyu-ho. I like that most of our time thinking about Gyu-ho is not spent on the mean things he wrote in his fictionalized version of Gyu-ho in his stories, and instead we’re hit constantly with small memories of their time together. There’s a passage from this section that continues to linger with me:

“Using all kinds of other methods to create Gyu-ho and write him as other characters, I’ve tried to show the relationship we had and the time we spent together as complete as they were, but the more I try, the further I get from him and the emotions I had back then. My efforts become something fainter and more distanced from the truth.”

I can’t stop thinking about the sadness of grief and what it means when we no longer have someone around. They stop being a person who interacts with us and shapes us, and they become only this memory in us, and the quirks left behind. It makes me sad because truly most relationships fail. A lot of us are going to have many loves, and a lot of them won’t work out. I love that Young is so bad about all of his relationships and we can see where he messed up with Gyu-ho. I hope that the next time I fall for someone I do a better job at recognizing what he needs.

I hope that all the other queers reading this book were able to find parts of Young they could connect to, and I hope that listening to his stories helps them.

I will be chatting about this book with others, and I hope Young’s sass comes through for them. He’s been one of the most engaging narrators I’ve gotten to read in a while. I love listening to him talk and the way he thinks. I just know he would get on my nerves in person, and I couldn’t deal with him all the time, but I do love him.

As for the adaptation, I am really looking forward to the sequence when Young and Hyung meet up with Hyung’s fake activist friends, and also the scene where he tries to strangle that man. I think I’m also really looking forward to the final scene where Young sort of collapses on a random porch in Bangkok. I feel like that shot is going to be incredible.

This book club has been a great experience. I want to thank all of you for sharing so much of yourselves and your experiences over the last month. I appreciate how everyone has taken to the spirit of the book club and kept up with the reading and adding on to everyone else’s posts. I can’t wait to react to the show and movies with you all, and I hope we find another good book in the future.