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flokali · 8 months

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♢ I own you, I love you | Tartaglia

warnings: yandere, dub/con, male m.asturbation, violence, threats, corruption, unrealistic sound-isolation, delusional thoughts, possessive behavior (from childe), childe/tartaglia lore-spoilers, canon divergence (maybe?), misunderstanding/miscommunication, manipulative behavior (from ajax) , unreliable narrator (ajax), ask to tag more.

pairing: afab! fem! reader x childe

word count: 10.7k

a/n: after months... here it is;; i'm so sorry for taking so long (tt),, i'll make it up to you !! istg (huhuh)

— 18+

You had trouble falling asleep ever since the day Ajax went missing.

It was meant to be yet another normal day, one that would blend in with all the others – muddled with other memories of childhood. Instead, it became the day your life began to change in ways you hadn’t even fathomed possible.

It had heavily snowed the previous night, which left a brand new layer of pure white to cover the humble roads of Morepesok. Normally, after such a heavy storm, you and Ajax would go over to his house and play inside – making use of the fireplace his father had built and hot chocolate his mother would make to keep warm. You both would steal his father’s diary and read about his adventures across Teyvat, recreating the scenes in your minds with yourselves as the main characters, before sharing your dreams with one another.

You never had the courage back then to tell him your ideal adventure was a rather simple one, while you always dreamt of moving to a less snowy nation, one like Mondstatd or even Sumeru, you were content with peacefully traveling across Teyvat before settling down. You didn’t want to spend your life fighting monsters and exploring the world, you only really longed for a simple life, where you could work a safe job and create a new home for yourself and those you loved. It was fun to imagine yourself on a long, rewarding journey across the nation to complete a request, but you’d rather keep it as just that – a figment of your imagination.

Ajax, on the other hand, longed for the chance to become a warrior. While never too skilled with the blade, always too nervous to even kill an animal, his determination was enough to convince you he’d one day make a great adventurer like his father. He’d longed for the thrill of exploring every corner of Teyvat, roaming the land until there was nowhere in this world where he hadn’t been to. Meeting new people, learning about new cultures, fighting monsters and gaining the freedom that came with being an adventurer; Ajax’s dreams had been clear from a young age.

A part of you, albeit really, insignificantly small, always wished he’d never succeed, secretly hoping he’d leave those ambitions behind with age and become a fisherman or craftsman instead. You’d heard tales of men and women who’d joined the Adventurer’s Guild only to never come back, and even more about those who’d joined the Fatui’s ranks, and you didn’t like the idea of waking up one day to find out he’d passed in a foreign land. It was selfish, you knew that, but you hoped that maybe he’d choose a safer option, one where you two could live together, away from the cold winters of Snezhnaya and safe from the dangers of the world. Maybe you’d both move away from Morepesok, find a quaint town in Fontaine where you’d both settle down and continue being friends, or maybe more, with no worries for each other’s safety - only busy being happy and healthy.

While you were putting on your boots and coat, making sure to layer as many clothes as you could to avoid the freezing cold temperatures that came with such heavy snowfall, you remember feeling an odd sense of uneasiness, a queasy feeling settling down in your stomach making you feel sick and nauseous. At the time you had thought nothing of it, too focused on meeting up with your friend and the taste of his mother’s hot coco, but now, years later, you think it was the Tsaritsa’s way to warn you for what was to come.

You remember nearing his house, confused as to why he hadn’t met you halfway down the road like he always did. It was quiet, eerily so, only the sound of your boots and your labored breath as you battled your way through the snow. There were no kids out on the street, all the adults that would normally be on their way were missing, even the birds seemed hesitant to chirp.

Instead, you find his mother worriedly looking around the perimeters of their humble cabin, her normally neat appearance now disheveled. Her long, ginger hair was half-hazardly put up, her clothes were wrinkled, her coat wasn’t even buttoned up all the way, but she stood there, frantically looking around.Whenever you’d come over, you and Ajax would always bump into one another before racing home to see who’d get there first, but today there was his mother’s choked sobs where normally his laughter would ring.

“Auntie?” You asked, running the rest of the way as you saw her expression, the closer you got the clearer the worry in her face became and you felt yourself grow anxious.

“Sweetie,” she looks at you in surprise, not having seen you approaching - too preoccupied to hear your unsteady footsteps as you struggled to run towards her, you see her blue eyes frantically look behind you and you follow suit, “A-Ajax, he wouldn’t have been with you, right?”

“No…” You shake your head, the previous feeling in your stomach expanding across your body, your head felt fuzzy as you asked, “Isn’t he home?”

“I… I’m afraid not,” She looks distressed at your words, her eyes water as she ushers you inside while still trying to look around to see if she caught sight of her son’s bright ginger hair against the cold white that coated the roads, her hands are shaking as she holds yours and brings you into her home, “Come inside, come inside – it’s too cold out t-there, you’ll get sick.”

Behind you, you hear more people arrive, you’re almost certain you hear your parents as well, but you have no time to ask before the worried mother shakes her head at the curious adults that looked up at her – the atmosphere worsens at the realization he hadn’t snuck out to be with you, she tries to occupy herself by taking you inside so as to not give into hopelessness.

You’re confused, not too sure of what’s going on even as you see adults from around the village inside of the house, maps in their hands as they whisper about the boy’s possible whereabouts.

“Is Ajax… o-okay?” You ask, you start to feel afraid as you process their concerned faces, seeing all of these adults who’d always been smiling and assured look so worried and uncertain sent a chill down your spine.

Where was Ajax? Normally he’d be here, assuring you your imagination was running wild and that nothing was wrong, the empty space next you where he’d normally be felt awfully cold.

Nobody answers you, instead you’re taken to your friend’s room where his siblings were gathered. Their mom, who you've always called your auntie, kneels down in front of you, taking your smaller hands into hers and giving you a weak smile.

“Ajax will be fine, okay?” Her words are meant to comfort you but you feel like they’re more for herself in that moment, “He’s just… gone out for a while, but he’ll be back before you know it.”

You nod, not truly understanding what she meant but feeling as if that was the response she needed to hear.

She gives your forehead a small kiss, you feel a tear fall travel down her cheeks and into your hair but you say nothing as she leaves, noting how she desperately tried to conceal the tears in her eyes; You’d never seen her cry before and it’s only then, as you look at his siblings and the pained look in their faces, that you finally begin to grasp the severity of the situation.

He was missing. Your best friend was gone and no one had any idea where he had run off to.

That evening your parents came over and stayed the whole day with Ajax’s family, alongside the other townspeople who went and came as they searched for the young boy in the woods around the area. Normally, you had to fight tooth and nail to let them grant you permission to stay over but that night they’d been the ones to offer it first.

That night was the first and only time you had a sleepover without Ajax. You and his siblings huddled together in the living room, next to the fireplace as his mother looked over you all. You would wake up every so often to the sound of people coming and going as the search efforts seeped into the night and early morning.

The suffocating cycle repeated itself for three days. Three days, two nights, and one afternoon later, after countless hours crying to your parents in fear of losing your best friend; Ajax emerges from the woods in one piece, but he who returns is not the same boy.

The first thing that stood out was his disheveled hair, he was wearing the same clothes – which were in too good a condition for a kid who’d gotten lost in the woods by himself for three days –, and the hunting knife he’d stolen from his dad now dull as if it’d been used continuously for a long period of time. What shocked the men and women who’d found him was the blood on him – specks decorated his face and hands as he looked up at them from his position near the corpse of a bear, one easily three times his size, he’d somehow taken out.

They’d found him in a clearing close to his house, the smell of blood had been what had alerted the rescue party – they’d prepared for the worst case scenario where the blood came from Ajax’s body, instead they found him to be in good shape even after three days by himself in the wild – perhaps a little too good, for it seemed he’d somehow taken down a beast by himself with his hands and his father’s old hunting knife.

The news of his return quickly spreads, everyone gathered near his home as they awaited with bated breaths to see the young boy; you’re there as he’s reunited with his family, hugging your mother’s leg as tightly as you could.

Rumors spread about him having killed an animal, some claimed it had been a rabbit while others alleged it had been a beast the size of a horse, and you wondered if they had mistaken another kid for Ajax – he’d never had the guts to harm even a fly, you doubted he’d changed so much in the span of three days. But it seemed as if you’d been wrong.

He doesn’t shed a tear, he doesn’t say a word. Not even a squeak as his parents coddle him; nothing at all. The only sounds are hushed whispers as people discuss the absurd situation and gleeful congratulations from onlookers as they celebrate his arrival and well being while giving his family well wishes. Instead, his blue eyes find yours and you’re unnerved at the empty look in them. Where there’s once been a warm light, you found an empty void that seemingly sucked you in and refused to let you go. You felt goosebumps arise all over your body the longer he looked at you. Even as he’s embraced within his father’s arms, his family surrounding him as they cry from relief, it’s only when he makes eye contact with you that, the first time since arriving, he smiles.

You feel a chill travel down your spine as you realize Ajax hadn’t been the one to return that day. You unconsciously nestled closer into your mother’s coat, as if trying to hide from his unnerving gaze.

You did your best to ignore that unsettling feeling, opting to attribute it to the rumors you had heard instead of something your friend had done, you pushed it and as well as any doubts aside as you attempted to focus on the good news; he was here, home with his family and back next door to your own house, and that was all that really mattered.

Ever since then, he’d become more confident. His once timid personality completely disappeared and the days where you had been the stronger one, defending him from his older siblings’ teasing and the mocking from other kids, were now but hazy memories. The roles had switched quite suddenly, not that you minded it too much – there were times where it felt nice to be the one being protected rather than the protector, but it had been quite the surprise at first.

He’d become bolder and more protective, never afraid to throw a punch (and sometimes even more) if he felt like you had been disrespected. It came to a point where you’d sometimes grow suffocated by his mere presence; eventually it escalated to where he’d never let you hang out with anybody he didn’t approve of, afraid they’d hurt you and he wouldn’t be there to defend you, and he’d make sure to let it be known you were his friend first and foremost. Unknowingly, a set of rules had been implemented between the two of you. Rules that stated you were his responsibility to protect and care for, even if it meant it drove others away and left you two isolated from other kids your age.

There were times you missed the Ajax that’d gone into the woods, the freckled boy who was timid and polite – who’d rather be teased by his siblings than hurt even a bug the size of your pinky, you doubt that boy would have picked fights with kids twice his size because they’d made a joke or two that didn’t land too well. But you hesitated to dislike the new Ajax, after all, when it was only the two of you - it was as if that damned day had never occurred at all.

He was back to the sweet, delicate boy who’d blush at your jokes and avoid prolonged eye contact. Whose hand would grow warm from holding yours, who’d confess his feelings to you every night when he thought you’d fallen asleep.

A few years later, once you were both older – now settled into your teen years, he ended up joining the Fatui and leaving your humble seaside village to go to the capital to train as a soldier.

You cried the day he’d given you the news. As overbearing as he could be, the ginger had been your only friend that your parents consistently let you hang out with, you’d spent your whole lives together and the thought of being without him terrified you greatly.

You remember the look on his face, the way he desperately tried to look strong and not let a single tear get away, his hands that had once been soft were now calloused as he grabbed your own.

“I’ll come back for you, I promise.” He’d whispered, his lips near your ear as he enveloped you in a hug.

You don’t trust your voice not to break and so you nod, letting your nose burn from trying to contain your sobs and not worry him more than he already was.

“A-and I’ll write you letters, so you better not forget me,” he continues, and even if by now he’d long since grown taller than yourself – you’re amazed at how small and vulnerable he felt against your frame, “so please… wait for me.”

“Only if you always write to me first… ‘Cause I swear I’ll leave if you forget.” You try to lighten the mood, halfheartedly warning him as if you both didn’t know it’d take death itself for Ajax not to fulfill a promise from him to you. He tightens his arms around you and you feel a wave of nostalgia wash over you as you wonder how long it’ll be before you can both hug like this again.

“I promise.” He laughs softly, the sound warms your heart.

“Then I promise as well.”

Ever since the day Ajax went missing, you have had trouble falling asleep.

When you did manage to fall asleep, a task which took longer than you’d like to admit without external factors such as medicine, your dreams would be strange and cryptic, often times you’d wake up in the middle of the night with a racing heartbeat and a sense of urgency, as if you’d been in danger; you’d learned to hate the images your brain would concoct during your rest. Some nights, you’d dream about that day and what would have happened if Ajax had never been found, other times you’d open the door to soldiers grieving his death; whatever tragic scenario your mind decided to present you, it would always be so realistic you’d wake up with tears streaming down your cheeks and a devastated heart.

This time, however, your sleep had come easier than expected and there were no dreams or nightmares to haunt you. No earthly worries were present and, after such an unexpected day filled with reunions and world-shattering news, you wished to succumb to a never ending night; however, the fates had other plans for you.

As you’re forcibly awakened from your slumber you feel a familiar, pleasant hand gently caressing your head. It felt gentle, their touch delicate and sweet, as if they were afraid any more force would hurt you. If the owner of said limb wished to lure you into consciousness, their touch had the opposite effect as it almost seemed to beg you to go back to sleep and forget the world of the living.

You felt truly content as you laid there, the blanket that laid atop of you was heavy and cozy, a foreign feeling - nothing like the blankets you were used to, and the pillow smelt like an old friend, welcoming and nostalgic. It all felt like a perfect trap set out to catch you, if that were that case then you’d have to admit it was a little too good at its job as you resign yourself to cuddling closer to the fabrics that enveloped you.

If it hadn’t been for the gentle kiss pressed against your cheek, you probably would have never gotten up. You want to complain, already formulating a sentence of indignation and annoyance to throw at the perpetrator, but the warmth left behind by the gesture is cozy and fills you with a taste full of happiness and fulfillment you don’t want to sour. At the feeling of a pair of unknown, soft lips against your skin you become more alert, slowly your consciousness begins to enter the realm of the living once more while you grow aware of your surroundings. Your eyes open timidly, the leftover fatigue from such a deep rest keeping them heavy, it takes you a second or two to adjust to the light and another few to register the man that lovingly gazed down on you.

“Ajax…?” You call out, rubbing your eyes as you wonder if it really was him. You’re almost sure you’re dreaming, as embarrassing as it was to admit, it had been so long since you’d seen him in person you may have simply gone crazy and imagined the man to be here; You’re about to ask him what he was doing here, if he were real at all, but he beats you to the punch with a smile before answering you with a gleeful tone that reminds you of summers long gone.

“The one and only,” he laughs gently as the hand that laid atop your head began to ruffle your hair in a familiar gesture – reassuring you that he was, in fact, a real person and not a figment of your imagination you had come up with to deal with the loneliness, “… don’t tell me you forgot about earlier.”

He teases you, but there’s a hint of worry in his eyes as he awaits your answer; surely, you couldn’t have forgotten. It’d only been a couple of hours and he had been sure to be as thorough as possible so that he left a print on both your mind and body, there was no way you’d forget making love with your soulmate. Just the thought of it sent jolts of anger and frustration down his spine, not at you - never at you, but at himself as he wonders if maybe he’d underperformed and disappointed you to the point you’d try and act like nothing had happened. If that was the case, he was more than willing to go again just this instant to right any previous wrongs.

“Earlier?” You mumble, you wreck your brain trying to think of what he meant but it isn’t a full minute before you realize what he meant. If it hadn’t been for his words, maybe his coat laying on you and your sore body would have been enough to eventually jog your memory. You feel your cheeks grow hot as you remember what you two had done earlier, you’d been so tired by the end you’d fallen into a deep, dreamless slumber that momentarily left you empty-headed when you woke up, but now the memories are rushing in and you doubt you’ll be able to forget the feeling of Childe on top of you for a long time.

Your embarrassed gaze was enough for him to know you’d remembered the dance you’d both partaken in earlier that day, the way your eyes avoided his had his heart swooning and a warm, fuzzy feeling settling deep within his very soul.

He feels himself calm down the more he looks at your flustered face, his whole body light and intoxicated on your sweet expressions; his pants felt so tight as he watched you fiddle with his coat, he wonders if he’d be able to warm you up on the ride back to his place the same way he’d done so previously.

You were absolutely adorable to him, so very weak and fragile in comparison to him – if he wasn’t such a gentleman, he would have loved to destroy you until you were too scared to leave his side. Alas, he decided that you shouldn’t be the one to face the sharp end of his blade, instead, he’ll scar your psyche and those around you so violently you’ll have no want nor need for anything else other than him.

“So, ‘slept well, my love?” He asks, his tone sweet as to never betray his darker thoughts — you didn’t have to know about how deeply he wished to break you until you couldn’t function without him by your side. You nod while suppressing a yawn, blissfully unaware of the chaos that was unfolding due to the man in front of you, and he laughs, content with your naïveté; he missed you oh so very much, “That’s good.”

There’s a warm, almost euphoric feeling that invaded your senses as you both took the time to enjoy each other’s presence; it felt different from earlier, something had changed now that you both had finally indulged in each other’s bodies. It felt akin to drinking a warm cup of tea, comforting and pleasurable, a reminder of home and the feeling of familiarity after a long period of impersonal and foreign coldness.

“Let’s get going then,” he breaks the silence, finally standing up from his crouching position, he gives you one last pat in the head before he starts making his way through your room and inspecting your belongings – or what remained of your belongings, “the carriage will be here soon, it’s only an hour long ride away but I think it’s best we take as much as we can today and send someone to pick up what remains.”

That’s when you notice he’s fully dressed, other than for his cape that was laid on you, as if he was anxiously awaiting the time to leave. You’re confused; why was he so keen on leaving and so fastly – he’d barely been here a handful of hours. Did you misunderstand his intentions?

“What do you…?” You ask, you rub your eyes while you sit up, using the large coat as a cover once you feel chilly Snezhnayan air hit your sensitive skin. It’s then that you can finally look at the many bags and boxes that litter the floor, and the almost empty room you laid in. All of your belongings seemed to have been packed away, almost nothing remained other than old family portraits and gifts from your parents from across the years.

“Huh?” The sight of your room packed into boxes was enough to wake you up, you instinctively try to stand up but a firm hand keeps you in place; you look up and see Ajax looking down at you. Your eyes meet and a chill goes up your spine at the look in his, they look eerily empty. You barely feel the coat slip from your shoulders, too focused on the feeling of his fingers against your forearm and the fact he, as a soldier, could easily overpower you if he wished.

“You’re still sleepy, aren’t you?” He asks, the muscles on his arm flex slightly as he speaks to you - he sounds disappointed as he continues interrogating you, “Do you really not remember?”

You shake your head, trying to wrack your brain for any indications of what he could be referring to; you remember the news about your parents and what happened after, but moving out? You have no memory of such a thing being even discussed, lest he meant —

“You agreed to marry me,” he says, as if reading your mind, your arm is finally set free as he adjusts the gloves on his hands, “and as my wife, you’ll be living with me from now on; I assumed you wouldn’t want to stay… here for much longer, considering everything.”

“Marry you…?” You echo as you watch him parade around your room, sharp eyes taking in what was left of your belongings on display. You vaguely remember his proposal during the first half of your conversation, something about how it’d serve as an obstacle for the arranged marriage – after all, it’s not as if the wife of a Fatui Harbinger’s marriage could be easily questioned or objected to. You had agreed almost immediately, even if you had your doubts about the reasoning behind the arrangement, you’d rather marry someone you knew than a stranger.

You wished you’d thought things through better, waited a bit longer before giving your answer. Clearly Ajax had made up his mind but now, after the shock of the news began to wear off, you felt like you owed your parents and yourself a discussion. Even if you felt betrayed, like their decision degraded you to an object instead of their daughter, you wanted to head their side; if only to get closure for your own aching heart.

Instead of answering you, Ajax turns around to meet your eyes. His eyes had always had the ability to suck you in like a void, they’re never clear - always muddy, like there was a side of himself he hid from you; you could never find your reflection on them. It took you a while to get used to them, to their empty, numb look that sent chills down your spine all those years ago.

The room feels small as you both look at each other, you sit on the bed naked and he stands in front of the door as if he were trapping you in, it’s silent and intimate and it makes your skin crawl. His expression is one you can’t read, maybe all those years in the Fatui had taught him how to make his enemies cower thanks to his presence alone, because the harder you tried to understand what his gaze meant, the less you felt you knew about him.

“Yes, you said you’d marry me.” He states and, even if it wasn't phrased as such, it felt more like an order than a recalling of events.

“I know,” you mumble, “and I… I like you, Ajax, I really do, and I’d love to be with you, but… but I can’t run away from this without hearing them out, you know?”

“You said you loved me.” His expression changes into a frown; Had you lied to him?

He probably sounds childish, his sentences short and repetitive like that of a toddler throwing a tantrum, but the truth was he simply couldn’t believe that you’d even hesitate to marry him; his brain completely short-circuited as he tries to understand why on Earth you’d ever think of giving anybody a chance when you had him.

“I mean, I-I do,” your cheeks feel hot as you’re quick to answer, at least you think you love him, “but… mom and dad wouldn’t just do this without a reason and you know that. I can’t just leave and never see them again without their explanation, even if it’s bad… I need some sort of closure; I can’t accept they’d just do this to me for no reason.”

“As if that changed anything, they gave your hand away for Mora, my love” He retorts, completely bewildered at your words; they’d tried to give you away to some lowlife, they hadn’t consulted you, they were going to spring it up on you one day and expect you to get over it the next, “Does a reason even matter?”

“It does, at least I… I think it does,” you look down at yourself and notice droplets falling down against the coat, staining the heavy leather with your sorrow, you were crying and hadn’t even realized it, “I don’t want to hate them… I don’t want them to hate me.”

He goes quiet when he catches sight of your tears. He freezes, his chest tightens and he feels himself grow dizzy – it’s the same foreign feeling he got when he first heard of the engagement, he feels his knees buckle under his weight and himself sway with every step he takes in your direction. They were beautiful, your tears, so delicate and clear, they shone like crystals when the soft afternoon light came through the window just right; he wishes he could collect them in his palm and weave a necklace to keep with himself, a reminder of your fragile heart he desperately needed to protect.

You looked so vulnerable, naked and crying, covered only by his coat. It was an intoxicating sight, he wished he could take a photograph and engrave it on his eyelids so every time he blinked he’d see this scene play out. You broke so beautifully, it was haunting to hear your voice break into sobs and wails as you mourned the life you thought you had, but it sounded beautiful to his ears nonetheless. It makes him feel insane, it was taking too much self-control from his part not to jump on you.

He sits down once more next to you, shaking limbs trapping you in his arms as he rubbed your back softly. As you cried uncontrollably, he found his cheeks hurting from the large grin on his face; it couldn’t be helped, no matter how much he tried to will it away, the joy he felt as he saw you cry was too much for him to hide.

“It’s okay,” he makes no effort to quell your fears, instead he chooses vague words of comfort to let it fester in your heart, “you won’t need to see them ever again, you’ll have me instead.”

He feels you hiccup, too deep in your own despair to formulate words. Your shaking body clings to his, you felt so scared and alone; How were you supposed to accept such a cruel, unforgiving truth? What could you possibly do to ease the pain in your heart as you thought about your parents and siblings, who had so easily given you away to a stranger. They felt so far away from you, it felt as if your whole life had been a long dream, nothing but a fantasy you were unaware could break any second, leaving you afraid and confused as you awakened to a reality you could have never seen coming.

“Come, I’ll help you get dressed,” Ajax helps you up as he speaks, essentially forcing you to face reality and displace the fogginess in your mind, he’s gentle as he makes his way with you to your closet - you vaguely note that it was still full, unlike the rest of your room it seemed he hadn’t touched it save for a few drawers here and there -, “the sooner you get ready,” he keeps an arm around you while he goes through the rack of your clothes, making sure you stay close to him, “the sooner we can get out of here.”

You nod, your head hurts but you can’t seem to stop the tears.

Maybe he was right, maybe it was a bad idea for you to talk to them; there was truly no excuse, was there? You doubted anything they’d say would take the feeling of betrayal away, they had treated you like an object, completely forfeiting your own personhood and giving you away to a stranger for Mora. No matter how desperately you wanted to understand what they’d done and why they’d done it, the more your head and heart hurt – it was such a cruel, heartless thing to do, to throw away your own blood to whoever bid the highest for them.

You can’t even muster the strength to facilitate the Harbinger’s task of dressing you, your whole body felt heavy as he made sure to layer on your clothes, it was near impossible for you to even stand up by yourself without your legs swaying and your knees buckling under your weight. It’s only due to the ginger’s persistence and strength that you don’t collapse.

By the time you’re ready and boarding the carriage, you’re tired and too drunk in your own misery, to question why, even as it neared nighttime, your parents nor your siblings hadn’t come home yet. Not that you cared, at least not right now, seeing them was the last thing you wanted to do.

The ride home is peaceful, you’d fallen asleep early on and laid beside Childe as he caressed your sleeping cheek and gazed out the window. Your head laid on his lap, broad thighs becoming a make-shift pillow for the ride, a blanket covering your body to keep you warm while you both made your way to his residence in the capital through the cold night.

Bored, deep blue eyes mindlessly gaze at the scenery passing by, his thoughts too jumbled together for him to admire the scenery. His thoughts stray back to your mother’s horrified face as she walked in on you together in bed earlier, he chuckles to himself as he recalls the screech she let out; it felt nice to see her so uncomfortable, but it wasn’t nice enough he’d forgive her for what she’d tried to do to you; Separate you from him.

“Ajax?” She finally gasps out, her hand points at him in an accusatory manner, “What… what is going on?”

When did that boy come back? He’d been gone for years, the last she remembered him was as a young teenager going off to join the Fatui; what was he doing in bed with you? You hadn’t mentioned him once during all these years, she had thought you’d long since forgotten about him. So why on Earth was he laying in bed with you - naked? Had he pressured you to do so? You two had such a close relationship, there was no way you wouldn’t have mentioned him to her if you two were dating - her mind was racing with a million thoughts and all of them left her worried and confused. It’s clear she’s not doing well, her breaths are visibly unsteady, her chest rising and falling unevenly while she audibly gasped for air, she’s shaking so hard you can see her knees wobble as she tries to steady herself against the doorframe; this wasn’t something she could have ever seen in coming.

Ajax couldn’t care less, the whole spectacle was boring and wholly unnecessary; she wouldn’t get to see you ever again, she should be grateful he hadn’t simply taken you home with him the minute he saw you.

“I came back for my beloved,” he answers carelessly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, he makes a vague gesture towards your sleeping form as if to make the point clearer, “can’t have a wedding without a bride, after all.”

“Wedding? You and her… are getting married?”

“Yes, is it that hard to understand? Come on, ma’am, everyone could see that she and I were going to get married,” he scoffs, “you said so yourself multiple times.”

“But,” she looks visibly confused, “that was back when you two were together everyday, Ajax… you haven’t seen each other in years. You can’t seriously think that you’re getting married because you both said so when you were children.”

The audacity this woman had was near parody, clearly she knew nothing about you nor your life and it made him feel sick. She had the privilege to be a constant part of your life during all those years he was away and yet she clearly spent them doing Archons’ knows what, he was growing visibly angry the more she spoke.

“We’ve known each other long enough,” he shoots her a glare, “and I’ve known my whole life I’d marry her, whether we’ve been seeing each other everyday or not - we’re getting married and that’s final.”

“Did she agree to this?” Your mother asks, her voice rising until it was near a squeak.

“Of course she agreed to marry me!” He snaps, his tone venomous; Could she just shut the hell up already?

“Then why didn’t she mention it to her father nor myself?”

“Because we agreed to get married today,” he puts your sleeping body aside, slowly standing up and tying a loose blanket around his hips, “and neither of you were here.”

“Today?” She echos, “You came back today and asked her to marry you?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I did,” he shoots her a glance as he picks up his clothes, slowly putting them on as he goes on, “and she said yes, I think you get the point by now.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” she mumbled to herself, she made her way inside the room, careful as to not wake you up, “there’s no way she was serious about marrying you. You… you’re practically a stranger to all of us at this point, Ajax.”

His pants were on at this point, his blouse now balled into his fist as he tried to control his annoyance. This was starting to get pathetic on her end.

“I will have you know,” he interrupts her, turning around to make eye contact with the woman once more to make his point clear, “that not only have we been in constant communication since I left, she agreed quite happily to the proposal - I don’t understand what exactly is not clicking, ma’am.”

“Of course she’d agree,” she exclaims, her hands flying up in desperation as she continues, “she has liked you all her life; but were you two dating until this point? What even was the relationship between you two; how am I supposed to support her getting engaged with a man we haven’t seen or heard from in years. Never once did she mention you, Ajax, she never spoke of a partner much less a marriage, all her life she’s made it clear that’s one of the least of her concerns and you want me to believe her mind changed in one day because you came and had sex with her? You’re insane if you think I’ll allow it.”

He feels himself freeze, most of what she’s said up until now feels like background noise the moment he finishes processing her words. You never mentioned him to your parents? He knew you hadn’t mentioned the letters, not all of them at least - he’s asked you not to, but never once in the almost eight years since he left had you mentioned him - not even as a potential suitor nor as a lover. That hag is lying, right? There’s no way you’d do this to him, right? You loved him, you said you did when he was fucking you just minutes ago, you wouldn’t lie to him, no.

“Listen to me, I don’t care if you want to get married to her - but there’s an order to how things are done,” your mother shoots your sleeping form a glance, “you could have at least let us know beforehand you’d be coming, you… you should have spoken to us; you know we would have given you our blessing if you’d waited a bit longer. This is the first time you’ve seen each other in years, emotions are running high - at least give her some more time to think this through, you already bedded her… don’t make this harder on her - she was beginning to move on, she’d been planning to move and now you’re telling me she’s throwing it all away? For a man she’s barely seen in years no less.”

“You’re… you’re wrong.” He mumbles under his breath, “You’re wrong, we both love each other.”

“Listen to me,” had your mother’s voice always been so grating to the ear, “she might have said yes to you now but how do you know she won’t regret it? When did you ask her? Today, the same day you come for the first time to see her? You think that under all the emotions that’ll come up seeing you again she’ll be thinking rationally? Was this even a conversation you both had previously, Ajax? How are you so sure she loves you like a wife and not just as a friend?”

His movements slow down, his hands feel heavy as he buttons up his shirt; can she just shut up? What did she think she was doing, lying to get him out of the way? Insinuating you’d ever regret him, what a joke - you needed him to survive.

“I’m saying this not just as a parent but as a wife, you can’t rush into these things, you can’t spring the question up suddenly and not take the time to consider it properly! You… you immediately had sex with her and you want me to believe this is out of love and not physical attraction? You couldn’t even wait for her father and I to get home. You’re telling me that both of you are completely sure of what you’re doing, you want me to believe that? I’m not letting my daughter make such a rash decision in a day -”

“So what if it was in only a day, huh? You’re just looking for any excuse to oppose us getting together,” he’s quick to interrupt her, “because you are trying to get her to marry some old fuck for some quick mora.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You think I don’t know, huh? You don’t care about her at all, do you? Lying to me that she’d never mention me, as if you didn’t know we were together all this time… acting like you care about her when there’s some fucking bitch downstairs you sold her off to.”

“What… What's this about selling my daughter?” “Don’t act stupid on me,” he doesn’t even bother buttoning the rest of his shirt before he’s pushing your mother out of the room and following her out the door, “I tried to be civil, but I’m getting really damn tired of you criticizing us and you keep on lying.”

She hits her back against the wall, she yelps in surprise but the Harbinger makes no acknowledgement of any discomfort he may be causing. Instead, gloved hands shoot up and take hold of her shoulders as he continues going at her; there’s a crazed look in his eyes as he keeps on speaking, getting progressively annoyed the longer the conversation went on.

“We – I, we never sold her off,” your mother pants, she looks up at him in confusion and fear, “who do you take us for?”

“I have the records,” he pushes her down, “there’s no use in lying to me, ma’am – I know everything I need to know.”

“You’re crazy,” she spits out, “you’re fucking crazy… I don’t what the fuck happened to you, but I’m sure as hell now that you are absolutely not getting anywhere near my daughter!”

“Shut up!” He picks her up and throws her against the wall, there’s a loud thud as her body slowly sinks into the ground, he corners her with his body, “Shut the fuck up, you hag.”

“Let go!” Tears are streaming down her eyes as she pleads,“Help, someone help! Please, upstairs… come upstairs now!”

“Listen here,” his eyes are wide open, his posture threatening as he leans over her shaking body, he’s rough in his handling of her and he knows it but chooses not to care, “she said she’d marry me, she said she loves me, she said so and so it is. There’s no debate, got it? If I want to fuck her two minutes after seeing her, I do so, and if I want to marry her after not seeing her for years, I do so. We don’t need a lying bitch getting in our way, you understand that, right? I don’t need you taking her away from me to give her to someone else. She was mine before I left, she was mine when I left, she’s mine right now, and she’ll be mine as long as I’m alive, so you either shut up and accept it or I’ll get rid of you and your fucking mistake of a family.”

“Get off of her!”

Oh, your father was here.

It’s strange to think that at some point, Ajax would have considered him something akin to a second father - especially now as his stomach filled itself with venomous rage at the mere sight of the older man.

“I said get off,” he runs towards the younger soldier, at an impressive speed for a man his age, his hands lunge forward as if to tackle him but it takes one hydro blade’s slash for him to stop dead in his tracks, “I… what do you want?”

Your father looks visibly worried as the ginger brands his weapon, the sight of an unfamiliar vision user threatening your spouse is one that would make anyone think twice before taking their next step.

“Do you seriously not recognize me?” Tartaglia laughs incredulously, “Come on, sir… I was only gone for a couple of years.”

“Ajax?” Your mother nods her head frantically as your father finally puts a name to the face of the strange man in his house, “What the hell are you doing, boy?”

“He’s going on about,” your mother gasps for air, “marrying her and - and, us selling her or something!” The awkward position she found herself in made it hard for her to comfortably speak, even so, she made sure to spit it out as quickly as possible. Her chest is heaving while she desperately tries to make your father understand the absurdity of the situation, the hydro blade in his hand was simply too close to her skin for her comfort - the power of Harbinger was nothing to scoff at and she wanted nothing more than to never find herself in this position ever again.

“We can talk this out,” your father’s hands shake as he tries to slowly approach the ginger, “there’s clearly been a misunderstanding…”

“There has been no misunderstanding, sir,” he laughs, “I know damn well what I saw and what I heard.”

“We would never -” “Yes, you would!” He nearly shouts, but he restrains himself - if only because you’re still sleeping nearby, his whole body shakes as he tries to control the volume of his voice, “And I’m getting really fucking tired of you acting like you wouldn’t, you know? Just admit it and maybe, just maybe, we can work things out.”

“We would never hurt our daughter like that, Ajax,” the older man tries to explain, “please, understand that… let my wife go and we can talk this out properly, please.”

“Talk it out?” Ajax looks at him incredulously, “There’s nothing to talk about if you won’t admit to your mistakes, sir.” “B-but we didn’t -”

“Shut up!” His blue eyes are wide open, the crazed look in them was enough to send a chill down a grown man’s body. Why couldn’t they just admit to trying to separate the both of you? Why were they so desperate to lie? He knows what he heard, he knows they were trying to ruin his chances to be with you. They were clearly trying to get in his way, they had to be conspiring against the two of you - there was no other reason as to why you’d been so hesitant to agree to his proposal, why you’d been scared to see the truth; they were brainwashing you into forgetting him, doubting him. They had to have known he’d come back, there was no way he wouldn’t have, it’d take death itself for him to give up on you.

He couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t stand to listen to your parents’ pathetic attempts at covering up their lies.

Your mother’s words die in her throat as he knocks her out with a single blow, it’s by sheer luck the impact against her skull hadn’t straight up killed her. Your father doesn’t even get to react, not even a pip can be mumbled, before Tartaglia is making his way towards him at rapid speeds, the young man’s strength was enough to tackle him down. The Fatui soldier makes sure to use as much strength as possible, all in an attempt to get his opponent to knock his head against something and pass out with as little fuss as possible.

It’s almost pathetic how quickly he’d taken both of them down, in just a few minutes the couple was knocked out cold - not yet dead nor mortally injured but not awake, no longer able to annoy Ajax or disturb you.

It’s almost pathetic how quickly he’d taken both of them down, in just a few minutes the couple was knocked out cold, both lying motionless on the ground, their limbs sprawled awkwardly; not yet dead but no longer able to annoy Ajax or disturb you, much to the former’s delight.

Footsteps could be heard from the first floor as the guests downstairs started getting worried, standing up and roaming around calling your parents’ names - too polite to dare wander into the house but too anxious about their absence to stay completely still, the thick wooden floors muffled the sounds but not enough that the commotion upstairs couldn’t be heard. One of the many benefits of Snezhnayan architecture was the isolation you could achieve in a big enough house, he’ll keep it in mind when he picks a house to start a family with you in.

Due to your house’s size, Ajax wouldn’t have to worry too much about Andrei or his parents hearing too much, meaning he’d be able to keep the element of surprise.

The Vision user knew he’d have to avoid the dining room, the place where the guests currently found themselves, lest he lose control and kill his former subordinate the minute he laid eyes on him, however his reasoning was anything but noble; Tartaglia simply wasn’t too keen on the idea of letting him get away with his crimes just yet.

To him, death would be too soft a punishment, it would have to be a fate worse than, not just for Andrei but every single person who was involved in the scheme.

His gloved hands make their way to check their pulses, both weak but still there - good.

With a satisfied huff he makes his way down the hall and staircase, quick to dismiss his signature hydro blades as he purposely makes his presence known with loud, rhythmic footsteps any soldier who’d served under him would recognize.

Years of hanging out under this very roof meant Ajax knew exactly where your back entrance was, which meant that he could enjoy instilling a sense of dread into the people downstairs without risking being found.

With a lazy smirk, Ajax purposely lets a couple of framed pictures and paintings fall from the wall, his hand tracing the walls and making sure to create as much sound as possible. As he approaches the dining room, he can hear the confused, hushed whispers as someone tries to peek into the hallway but, by the time the young man finally reaches the door to look around, Ajax has long since exited the house as he makes his way to recall the soldiers he’d stationed around the neighborhood.

With a wave of his hand soldiers seemingly appeared from thin air, emerging from bushes and rounding dark corners, soon the Harbinger is surrounded by men awaiting his orders.

“Is the Galkin residency ready?” He asks, making direct eye contact with a shorter soldier.

“Yes, sir.” The man nods.

“Good,” he combs a hand through his hair as he looks at your childhood home, “there’s a knocked out couple on the second floor, the rest are in the dining room.”

“Yes, sir.” A chorus of voices respond, mechanically a group of the soldiers turn around and march into the house.

“Keep it down, will you? If they scream, knock them out,” he adds half-heartedly, “she’s sleeping, so don’t wake her up.”

The leader of the group nods enthusiastically, making sure to echo the sentiment to his men before making their way inside the house.

As their operation takes place, Tartaglia turns back around to address his remaining companions; “Make sure to make it look as realistic as possible, we need the charges to stick.”

“Yes, sir.”

He asks to see the boxes full of fabricated evidence one last time. There are at least six large boxes filled to the brim, but he focuses on one. The one that holds the most damning evidence for the most serious crime anyone could commit in the land of Cryo; Treason against the Tsaritsa. Cold, blue eyes look with a gleeful glint at the falsified letters, penned to look exactly like your family members’ handwriting, there’s more; photographs, bank records, falsified shipment records, and more.

He gives one final nod, officially sealing everyone’s fates. From this moment onwards, your family and the Galkin’s would be charged with treason against the Tsaritsa and conspiracy to overthrow the Fatui. Sure, many others, perhaps even innocent people, will unjustly be implicated but he’ll make sure to pin this on the worst people he can. He’ll get rid of two birds with one stone while he’s at it.

It takes only a couple of minutes before everyone is being pulled outside of the house and led into carriages. It’s a humiliating sight, the ones who were awake were panicked, some even crying, the ones who had to be subdued needed to be carried by two or more people as they were unceremoniously dragged away.

Ajax purposely hides away, making sure to make a mental note of who was being taken and their condition. Andrei and his father are the only Galkin family members out of the four present who hadn’t been knocked out. Your parents, your eldest sister, and younger brother are knocked out - your elder brother, and your other sister are the only ones awake. There are a couple of other people, their partners, and a few he didn’t recognize immediately. In total, there were 16 people taken from your home.

Tartaglia made a point to only reveal himself as they finally dragged Andrei out, the final person out the house. His hands were bound behind him, a confused look clear in his eyes as he desperately tried to understand what was going on. His green eyes finally make contact with Ajax’s, they widen.

“Sir? What is going on -” He’s cut off by a harsh shove from the soldier walking him, he stumbles.

Ajax almost feels bad at the sight, Andrei was a good man - if only he didn’t try to get with you. He was young, unlike the idea he’d planted into your head, Galkin had only recently turned 27 last month, and he’d been a promising soldier until he was honorably discharged after a failed mission took the lives of most of his troupe. However, if you found out about his closeness in age to yourself, you’d probably not have reacted as poorly - maybe you’d even think about giving the fucker a chance. After all, people like Andrei - honorable young men who sacrificed a part of himself for his nation - were always appealing to the masses. But never as appealing as Ajax was to you, he couldn’t be.

The Harbinger turns around on his heels, not even sparing another glance to the arrested individuals, before making his way inside your house.

It’s filled with strangers, their serious faces evident as they set up the scene - their movements calculated as they did their best to create the image of guilt. Even though there were easily five or more people in every room, the whole place felt eerily empty. In a way, he almost feels as if you two were the only people in the world - you, the sleeping beauty waiting for him to arrive.

There’s a spring in his step as he pushes the door to your room open, his eyes immediately find you buried within his coat. He’s not surprised you had managed to sleep through it all, you’d always been a heavy sleeper even during your youth.

He ushers a soldier in with a bunch of empty boxes, signaling for her to start packing your things up.

“Wake her up and you’re dead.” He adds while he makes his way towards you, a cheeky smile on his face as he makes himself comfortable next to you.

The soldier nods, making sure to be as quiet as humanly possible as to not anger the man in front of her - at this point, everyone in the house knew that he was not exaggerating when he said such things. When it came to you, the eleventh Fatui Harbinger knew no bounds. She turns around, making sure not to look too much at either of you in fear of upsetting him.

He patiently waits for the woman to finish packing all she could fit in the boxes. By now, he’s cuddling you in his arms, never allowing you the chance to so much as squirm away from him. It’s a suffocating, possessive hold he has on you, like he was scared if he let you go even for a second you’d leave him.

“Good, thank you.” He doesn’t even look at her - too focused gazing lovingly at your sleeping form. She says nothing but bows before leaving, desperate to leave the room as soon as possible.

The minute she closes the door he pulls himself away from you, making sure to not wake you up with any sudden movements - a concern he seemingly hadn’t had before when he’d been tormenting your parents.

He’d done his best to conceal himself but the truth was that the minute he saw you again, he felt himself growing hard again. Your naked body was hidden enough he didn’t feel the need to kick the soldier from before out, but he knew - he knew that beneath it you were still dirty with him, you were bruised from his handling of you, your neck filled with his kisses and bites. Just knowing that was enough for him to get dizzy, as if all the blood that was meant to flow to his brain had been redirected to his dick. His white pants were tented up, it almost hurts from how erect it was - just the memory of you taking him inside had a wet patch forming in his underwear.

“Look at what you do, baby,” he moans, his voice breathy as he pulls his zipper down, slowly freeing his hard-on, “ah… hah, I want to be inside you again.”

Just the cold air hitting his bare cock is enough to send a jolt of electricity down his spine, he just wants to feel you again, it’s all he wants - to be inside you again and to fuck you until all you can think of his your future husband’s cock. He takes your hand, so much smoother than his battle-worn one, and cautiously shoves two of your fingers into his mouth as a make-shift gag.

He keeps one hand there while the other one slowly caresses his slit, his touch almost a ghost on his skin as he makes sure to tease it until a glob of pre starts to form from how sensitive he already was. He takes a small amount of pre-cum and uses it as lube, making sure to spread it slowly across his tip and down his shaft with long strokes.

He’s trying his best not to bite down on your fingers but it was so hard not to, instead he occupies himself by sucking on them in sync with his hand.

“Mhm!” He accidentally touches his vein, the thick bump was extra sensitive against the cold air and your scent, his whole body twitches.

He can’t stop his hand from gaining speed and force, the longer he’s here with you the more his hand moves. It just not enough, his hips thrust upwards as he gives into himself, fucking into his balled up hand. His tongue laps at your fingers, his lips wrap tightly around them as he tries not to bite into your flesh; he can’t stop his hand from tightening against his cock.

He continues like this for a while, humping into the air like a bitch in heat, making sure to not cum - he didn’t want this to end too soon, he wanted to continue feeling like this next to you. In your room, a place that smelt so much like you it was overstimulating him, the taste of your lips against his tongue was intoxicating - he didn’t want today to end.

“Hah, mhm…” He chokes against his moan; it’s starting to get too much for him.

It’s then that he makes the mistake of looking over to you. Just the sight is enough for him to cum, it takes just a few strokes for him to finally spill.

“F-Fuck!” He can’t stop the moan that leaves his lips, he takes your fingers out of mouth in fear of hurting you but he refuses to let it go, gripping tightly while he lets himself ride the wave of pleasure he feels.

It takes him a second or two until he finally calms down, his dick growing sensitive as he slows down his strokes until he finally stops. His chest feels heavy as he pants, his heart beating painfully loud - he wonders if maybe you could hear it even in your sleep, a part of him hopes so. His whole body is on fire but he thinks this is the best he’s ever felt, just being near you was enough to make him feel like a God.

“I… I love you,” he pants, his fingers almost leave a dent in your hands from how tightly he’s gripping it, “hah… I love you so, so much…”

Almost a little too much.

#yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin #yandere ajax #yandere tartaglia #yandere childe #yandere x reader #yandere gi #yandere #yandere male #yandere x you #yandere boy x reader #male yandere #๋࣭ ancient scrolls #yandere genshin imagines

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hoonvrs · 10 months

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CHILD OF DIVORCE — l. heeseung

PAIRING heeseung × fmr

DESC. yours and heeseungs breakup through the eyes of nishimura riki

GENRE angst, 3rd party perspective

WARNING mutual breakup, mention of parental issues, riki has attachment issues, he’s also irrational but aren’t we all

W. COUNT 0.8k

S. NOTES why did i have so much fun writing this

to say riki considered you and heeseung his parents was an understatement.

he boy genuinely believed you were. so it's safe to say that when his heeseung hyung ( read: dad ) came home to their apartment late to their weekly boys' night and dropped the news, he was devastated.

“me and y/n broke up.“

riki could feel his whole world collapse, suddenly feeling ten again when his parents sat him down to tell him that his mum and dad were getting a divorce and dad was going to be moving back to his old city.

in hindsight, he should’ve consoled his hyung who didn’t look like he had just broken it off with his girlfriend of four years and the woman everyone believed he’d marry one day. he should've gone up to him like a good friend and given him a few words of comfort — maybe even a hug.

but instead, he felt anger. it was selfish, but he couldn’t realise his irrationality over the splitting feeling in his chest, and heeseung's reaction — or lack thereof — didn’t help but wedge a nail in the crack and hammer it down.

he couldn’t make out what the rest of their friends were saying, feeling all his senses suddenly muffle, giving his emotions nowhere to go but out, “what do you mean you broke up.”

the room suddenly felt colder. all their friends stopped talking and froze their gazes on him. seeing sunghoon from his peripheral, sending him a questioning look, but his vision tunnelled on the eldest, who was still standing near the entrance. “you can’t just break up, not now.”

confusion settled on the elder's face, overtly not expecting this reaction from him, “what do you mean i can't? it's my relationship, and we both ended it.”

riki was starting to feel antagonised, seeing faces look back and forth between him and the other, so he stood up in an attempt to size himself up, refusing to see the irrationality of his point. he felt like heeseung was being inconsiderate by breaking up something riki relied on without thinking of the others who'd be affected outside of the relationship.

everyone in their friend group was aware of his abnormal attachments, evident in the shirt he refuses to throw away because it was his father's, even if the fabric had more holes than not, or the two sizes too big shoes his sister gifted him, insisting he would ‘grow into them’ and now yours and heeseung's relationship.

healthy relationships weren't the norm in his life growing up, so by default, riki was hostile and withdrawn towards you the first few times heeseung introduced you as his new girlfriend. reminding himself constantly at the back of his mind that all relationships must come to an end and with every problem heeseung brought home, he was convinced it was near.

however, he must have underestimated you. one year became two, then four, and riki had become accustomed to his life with you. finding himself excited every time you’d come over whenever he was around because you had always seemed to favour him slightly, giving him the best meat cuts whenever you’d eat out together, or saving him the corner of the brownie because you knew it was his favourite part.

maybe it was silly to let you grow a home into the hole in his heart that was carved by his mother, seeking maternal comforts from you and allowing you to become a constant in his life.

but then again, all relationships have an end but riki wasn’t ready to let this one go. “so what? that’s it? you’re just going to end it here after everything?”

“look, it was a mutual breakup. we both just don't feel the same as we did before, so we broke it off like adults. i wish her all the best, just not with me.”

the split started to spread throughout his whole body, feeling his knees start to weaken under the weight of his emotions. when he started to feel his throat clog up and his eyes start to burn, he quickly made his escape, pushing past his hyung making sure to knock their shoulder on his way out to show he wasn't happy with the new change.

he could hear them discussing what happened after slamming his bedroom door, the thin walls leaving no word left unheard, drilling each question into his mind.

maybe then he should’ve left and apologised for his outburst, but grief is a funny feeling.

even though the relationship wasn’t his and never was to begin with, riki had gotten too comfortable living vicariously through you, and now he wanted someone to take responsibility for feelings only he could be blamed for.

but that’s another thing about grief. there’s always someone you want to pin the blame on. someone who caused this emotion to spiral and settle at the pit of his stomach without anywhere else to go leaving it to make itself home in his body.

and it wasn’t going to be him.

perm taglist @mesopret @whoschr @haknom @shinsou-rii @redm4ri @lacimolela @llama-lyna @boyfhee @lazysmushi @flwoie @kocokookie @kyexvly @seongclb @dammit-jjk @flwrshee @produmads @teddywonss @aleiouvre @dneltrise @aleiouvre @nyxvrse @yohanabanana @whois-alexis @sngvhs @tinyegg @sserafimez @satsuri3su @yuemvi @chirokookie @idk-tbh777 @s00buwu

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lilacgaby · 5 days

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stare.

you catch megumi staring at you, little did you know he was thinking of the life he dreams of with you.

you've been dating megumi for a while.

he found out you felt the same because you had accidentally let your crush on him slip infront of gojo, who.. told megumi right away.

after an awkward conversation and confession, you came out boyfriend and girlfriend.

since then, you'd catch him looking at you. during missions, dates, hang outs with the other first years. and even times you didn't know about, like when you'd nap on his shoulder. or when you'd be reading a book in his dorm.

you always wondered why he would look at you so much, but it didn't really bother you so much as make you curious.

you would've never guessed it was because of the life he was planning for you two down the road.

he wanted to marry you, he knew that even when all you were to him was a crush. he knew you deserved a grand gesture, a beautiful ring, to be loved so deeply and publicly.

he wanted to have a home with you. to learn the small habits that shaped you. how you liked your eggs, if at all. how you folded your clothes, what shoes you'd watch mindlessly, what side of the bed you'd prefer.

he wanted to dedicate himself to you. he wanted to make you happy everyday, to love you deeply and hope you loved him back.

and lastly, he wanted to build the family he yearned for with you. he wanted to be the strong, present father he wished for, always there at the drop of a hat. he wished to see you through all stages of bringing a life into this world. to be surprised at the news, to spin you around and plant kisses on your face.

to plan a gender reveal, a small one just for the two of you. you'd cut a cake and slice it together, he didn't mind the gender of the baby, all he wanted was a healthy one. he'd kiss your stomach and whisper things to your child, secrets to hold just between the two of them.

he'd hold you through the pain, doing anything in his power to alleviate it. he'd support you in any decision you'd make for how you wanted to give birth, just wanted to two of you to be safe and healthy.

he'd be there when the baby was born, and as his child grew.

he'd be there for their birthdays, somehow knowing exactly what they wanted.

he'd be there for their graduations, proud of how hard they worked.

he'd be there as they left the home, holding you as you both braved the reality of their absence together.

he hoped to grow old with you, reminiscing over the past as you looked at each other, aged with the grace of time.

he was snapped out by a poke on his cheek. "megumi? you there?"

"huh? oh yeah."

"what are you thinking about anyways? you're always so mysterious."

"oh nothing,

just us."

he said with a soft smile.

#he's actually my bf!#lilac speaks꧂#megumi fushiguro #megumi x reader #megumi x you #jjk megumi #jujutsu megumi #megumi fluff #megumi drabble #jujutsu kaisen megumi #jjk drabbles

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afeelgoodblog · 1 year

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The Best News of Last Week - June 26, 2023

1. California's Lake Oroville now at 100% capacity following megadrought; 1st time since 2019

Once a stark example of the drastic effects of California's yearslong megadrought, Lake Oroville has rebounded and is once again filled to capacity, data from the state's Department of Water Resources shows.

Lake Oroville, the state's most beleaguered and second-largest reservoir, is at 100% of its total capacity and 127% of where it should be around this time of year - a huge boost after the climate-change-fueled megadrought sucked away nearly all its water supply.

2. Blue whales are thriving in California waters – the story of their amazing comeback

If you’ve recently taken a Southern California whale-watching tour, you may have been lucky enough to come across earth’s largest animal. Pacific blue whales grow up to 110 feet long and can reach a weight of 200 tons. Decades ago, blue whales were nearly hunted to extinction, and although still listed as protected under the Endangered Species Act, marine biologists and researchers are heralding a “conservation success story,” unlike any other.

According to a study published in 2014 by researchers at the University of Washington, the West Coast blue whale population has bounced back at tremendous levels, recouping 97% of its pre-whaling population

3. Newborn left in Florida Safe Haven Baby Box adopted by the firefighter who found her

Zoey is now 5 months old. Courtesy Zoey's family

A firefighter in Ocala, Florida, was pulling an overnight shift at the station in January when he was awakened at 2 a.m. by an alarm. He recognized the sound immediately. A newborn had been placed in the building’s Safe Haven Baby Box, a device that allows someone to safely and anonymously surrender a child — no questions asked.

“To be honest, I thought it was a false alarm,” said the firefighter, who wished to remain anonymous to protect his family’s privacy. But when he opened the box, he discovered a healthy infant wrapped in a pink blanket.

That baby would become his daughter, Zoey.

4. Iceland suspends whale hunt on animal welfare concerns

Iceland's government said Tuesday it was suspending this year's whale hunt until the end of August due to animal welfare concerns, likely bringing the controversial practice to a historic end.

"I have taken the decision to suspend whaling" until August 31, Food Minister Svandis Svavarsdottir said in a statement. The country's last remaining whaling company, Hvalur, had previously said this would be its final season as the hunt has become less profitable.

5. He wanted to pet dogs for his 100th birthday. Hundreds lined up.

Alison Moore had a unique idea to celebrate her father's 100th birthday: a pet parade filled with as many dogs as possible. Her father, Robert Moore, has always adored dogs and wanted to pet every one he saw. So, Alison took to social media and invited the community to join in the festivities. Little did she know that over 200 dogs and their owners would gather for the heartwarming event.

The parade brought immense joy not only to Robert but also to attendees like Rodger, who has Alzheimer's disease, and his daughter Denise, who hadn't seen her father smile so much in a long time. It was a day filled with wagging tails, smiling faces, and love that made Robert's milestone birthday an unforgettable celebration.

6. Historic decision: Estonia legalizes same-sex marriage

Tuesday, the Estonian government has survived a vote of no confidence in the Riigikogu tied to amendments to the Family Law Act and related legislation, which is granting same-sex couples the legal right to wed. 55 members of the Riigikogu voted in favor of the measure, while 34 voted against.

It is proposed that the institution of marriage, as defined by family law, be modified so that any two natural persons of legal age, regardless of gender, may marry. The words "man and woman" will be replaced with the words "two natural persons."

7. US approves chicken made from cultivated cells, the nation's first 'lab-grown' meat

For the first time, U.S. regulators on Wednesday approved the sale of chicken made from animal cells, allowing two California companies to offer “lab-grown” meat to the nation’s restaurant tables and eventually, supermarket shelves.

The Agriculture Department gave the green light to Upside Foods and Good Meat, firms that had been racing to be the first in the U.S. to sell meat that doesn’t come from slaughtered animals — what’s now being referred to as “cell-cultivated” or “cultured” meat as it emerges from the laboratory and arrives on dinner plates.

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That's it for this week :)

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#best news of last week

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softlydreaming · 6 days

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where do you imagine yourself in five years?

well, i think i’ll be skinny (at least i hope so) i’ll be proud of how far i have come, even if it meant st4rv4t1on (maybe). i’ll have recovered. i can wake up each morning and eat a bowl of cherries with the only thing being spit out are the pits. i can swallow safely.

i‘ll wake up skinny, being able to wrap my fingers around my wrists, drowning in my freshly washed new clothes, sighing gratefully because when i look in the mirror, i’m slim and petite and free. free from the weight that once haunted me- consumed my every thought, every waking second of my past decade. i can wear what i want now. and like the way i look.

i can go about my day, all those habits i picked up on are normal healthy habits now. lots of water, teas, fresh homemade meals. i will walk in the forest, and food doesn’t haunt my mind. maybe i’ll forget to eat, and when i do eat, it’s this simple thing. i don’t count the calories (maybe i’ve already memorized them) but i’m conscious of what i’m feeding myself. i’m not super strict anymore, but i still maintain my weight.

i feel comfortable being around my friends again, the really skinny ones too. when they take candid pictures of me, i almost look like those pinterest girls now. i can smile at our group photos and take selfies. i can post them on my socials too, without feeling embarrassed or hiding them. my day is no longer ruined seeing the reality of my weight on their posts.

my posture’s gotten better, you can see my collarbones too. necklaces and jewelry look dainty. i feel more feminine and elegant. i feel happier. i can go on runs with friends or participate in games and sports without feeling all the chub on me. how embarrassing that used to be. the nights i’d cry in my room, wishing to look just like the rest of them. i still don’t look like the rest of them, but i feel pretty now, more decent. because i’m skinny.

in five years i’m skinny. i’m recovered. i’m confident. i’m happy. i’m at peace.

people don’t put me in front of them in group pictures anymore. people don’t expect me to want dessert anymore. people say you can eat anything and not gain weight! again. people invite me to things. i can have a boyfriend now. i can take pictures and not feel revolted. i don’t feel the urge to b1ng3 anymore.

because i’m finally skinny.

maybe this is my future. maybe it’s a dream, foolish wishful thinking. did anyone before me really think this would be them and end up recovering?

how much more of this until it rots my soul.

#4n@diary #3d not sheeran #tw ana rant #tw ed ana #tw 3d vent #3ating d1sorder #thinspø #@na motivation #4norexla #st4rv1ng #light as a feather #3d blog #3d diary #3d but not sheeren #tw thinspø #th1nspø #4n4blr

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hotmessmaxpress · 5 months

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Rosquez Horror AU

Vale turns up at Marc’s motorhome after his crash with Pecco.

Marc stares at him, where he is on the front step, and genuinely takes a moment to wonder if it’s really happening. Vale barely looks at him, much less speaks to him. Despite Marc’s deepest desires to move forward with Vale, he can’t even get the other man to acknowledge him.

Until now, he supposes.

He lets Vale in the door, and stands a healthy distance away from him. Suddenly the motorhome feels entirely too cramped, too close. Marc doesn’t know why he feels like he needs space from him; it’s not like Vale will hit him.

Vale looks at him with narrow eyes.

“Your crash-”

Vale gets no further before the siren starts and they both freeze.

It’s been a long time, years, since one has appeared in the paddock.

The mandated emergency screen in the corner of Marc’s trailer flares to life with a crackle and an animatronic voice speaks.

“Attention all drivers, staff, and guests. A void creature has been spotted in your vicinity. Take shelter immediately. Lock all doors and windows and arm yourself if possible. Take cover and stay quiet. Do not respond to voices you cannot see. Repeat. Attention all riders, staff, and guests. A void creature has been spotted in your vicinity. Take shelter immediately. Lock all doors and windows and arm yourself if possible. Take cover and stay quiet. Do not respond to voices you cannot see. May Mercy be with you all.”

Vale and Marc move quickly and silently. Vale locks the door, while Marc checks the windows. He shows Vale how to pull down the metal safety panels in front of the doors and windows, and Vale helps him secure the rest of the motorhome.

Marc sends off a text to Alex with a half moon emoji and waits for the avocado Alex is supposed to send in return. Their code, unable to be mimicked by an outsider pretending to be one of them, and meant to signal “I’m safe and sheltered.”

The avocado pops into his messages shortly after, and Marc lets out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Vale seems to be doing something similar, staring at his phone in concern.

“Okay?” Marc whispers.

Vale nods, but Marc can see the tension in his shoulders.

“Bedroom,” Marc suggests. “It’s the safest.”

They carry food and water from the kitchenette to the bedroom, and Marc closes the door. Another metal safety panel comes down, and latches into place, and Marc breathes a sigh of relief.

“Is Alex okay?” Vale whispers.

Marc nods.

“Safe and secure. Are all of your riders?”

Vale looks nervous.

“I’m still waiting to hear.”

Marc nods.

He has the urge to reach out and comfort Vale, but the space between them in the tiny room feels vast. It’s not lost on him that Vale is only here because he wanted to yell at him. The ongoing anomaly event may be uniting them for now, but Marc has no doubt that when the threat is gone Vale will be back to hating him.

He reaches out anyway, squeezing Vale’s hand. He pulls him to the bed and they sit.

“We may as well be comfortable,” he suggests.

Vale doesn’t relax, though. He checks his phone again.

There’s a scream, so far off in the distance that Marc wonders if he heard it. He glances at Valentino, who has frozen in place, and assumes it must have been real.

He has a terrible thought that at least it was far away. At least it wasn’t near them. If it has to happen, let it happen somewhere away from himself and his family.

He wishes Alex were with him, like the first time he experienced an anomaly from the void. They were so young, at home in Cervera. He remembers watching television after dinner, then the screen cutting to a news anchor.

The news anchor had said something confusing, and Marc had looked over at Alex, who was similarly confused and annoyed that their show had been interrupted. Whatever the anchor had said terrified Roser, though. She had come running, grabbing Marc and Alex by the arm and dragging them down the hall to the small room under the stairs that they weren’t allowed to play in.

Alex had started crying, scared and startled by the way their mother had roughly grabbed them, and Roser had hissed at him to be quiet. Marc thought she was being mean; he remembers yanking Alex out of her arms, as if to protect him from her, and he pulled Alex against him. They’d been almost the same size at this point, long before Alex had his massive growth spurt and shot up past Marc’s height.

Marc had held his little brother in his arms, petting his hair, as Alex calmed down. He glanced at Roser, seeing her silently praying. At the time he hadn’t known the danger they were in– he didn’t understand the sirens surrounding them and the noises outside that he’d never heard before.

Roser brushed his hair back from his forehead, and her hands were shaking. It felt like hours that they sat there in that small closet-room, legs sore from squeezing together and sweating from the close space.

Marc and Alex hadn’t dared to complain though, sensing that now was not the time to press their mother for information or to whine. Once the wind outside died down and the sirens finally stopped, Roser had released them from the room and fed them dessert like it was a special occasion. She kept touching their faces, kissing their cheeks and their foreheads, and she spent most of the rest of the evening on the phone.

It was only once they reached school-age and got their first mandatory anomaly safety lesson that Marc really understood what might have happened to them.

Vale is still tense. Marc sees it in the lines on his face, lines that weren’t present the last time Marc and Vale shared a shelter during an anomaly.

They had been in a hotel that time, toward the end of their relationship, but before things got awful, and the hotel was expensive enough that they hadn’t had to leave the bed for more than to close the curtains. The doors and windows were already secured, and it was easy to forget the void creature lurking outside, far below them. They had climbed back into bed after they ensured the curtains were closed, and they muted the TV.

They treated it almost as if it was a thunderstorm, wrapped up in blankets and waiting for it to pass. Vale had pressed kisses along his neck, whispering reassurances in his ear.

“You’re safe,” he had said. “I won’t let anything hurt you.”

At the time, Marc had believed him.

Marc swallows the lump in his throat, and reaches for a water bottle. He cracks the top and takes a long drink, trying to soothe the dry feeling in his throat.

Vale checks his phone again.

“Pecco hasn’t checked in,” he says, so quiet that Marc barely hears it. Marc’s heart jumps into his throat. His brain races through the full spectrum of possibility. It could be that Pecco was separated from his phone, and when the sirens go off it’s instinct to run without reaching for something like a phone. It could also be much worse– Marc’s ears strain for another scream.

“He might just not be near his phone,” Marc says, reaching for Vale’s hand again.

Vale allows Marc to take his hand, and he squeezes it.

They sit in silence for another long while, simply holding hands and waiting.

“I’m sorry about the crash,” Marc says.

“No you aren’t,” Vale says, giving Marc a dry look.

“I don’t want to crash. I don’t want anyone else to crash either.”

Vale grits his teeth, and Marc tries to pull his hand away. Vale doesn’t let him, and it reminds Marc of all the arguments that ended with Vale trapping him in his arms until they both calmed down.

“You race like you want to crash.”

Marc doesn’t have anything to say to that, at first.

“I’m getting older,” he finally breathes. “Things are changing for me,” he adds, leaving it at that.

Vale turns and stares at him, appraising him.

Marc wonders if Vale can see the lines that Marc himself sees when he looks at himself in the mirror. He wonders if Vale’s eyes pick up on the way that Marc’s body hurts; he wonders if it shows on his face how tired he is of being in pain.

Vale opens his mouth to speak, but they’re interrupted.

“Valentino!”

Marc’s entire body freezes. Pecco’s voice is outside, calling through the walls.

Marc squeezes Vale’s hand hard. He knows Vale is smart enough not to respond, but he can’t take that chance. He hoists himself up and straddles Vale, pressing his forehead to Vale’s. He stares Vale in the eye, keeping Vale’s focus on him.

“Don’t,” Marc warns, nearly silently.

Vale wraps his arms around Marc, and squeezes him tightly.

“Vale, please,” the voice outside begs. “I don’t know where the thing is. I know you’re in there- I need shelter.”

Vale buries his face in Marc’s shoulder.

“I left my phone in the garage and got locked out,” the voice yells. “Please, Vale! Please don’t let it get me.”

Marc thinks Vale might break his ribs with how tightly he’s holding him. Marc wonders how loud his heart is; if Vale can hear it from where his face is pressed against him. Marc puts his hands gently over Vale’s ears, trying to spare him the trauma of being targeted by an anomaly. He knows how it feels to have the voice of someone you love trying to tempt you into welcoming your own death through the door.

“Valentino!” Pecco’s voice yells again. It sounds desperate, pleading, and Marc can feel tears well up in his eyes. He hopes Vale can’t hear it. It’s a wretched thing, copying the voice of another.

Marc has never seen a void creature. He knows that people have seen them; he went to school with someone who claimed to have run from one. Marc knew that was ridiculous; you can’t run from them and live. But they have been captured on camera, and seen through windows. Marc only knows that they’re ungodly things, wrong and twisted and otherworldly.

He wonders now what the one outside must look like. He wonders if it bothers to take on Pecco’s appearance, or if it looks like the shadowed monster his school teachers had taught them to protect themselves against. The horns and claws made from the absence of light; sucking in light from everything they are near.

Vale is shaking now. He’s still gripping Marc tightly, and Marc still has his hands sealed over Vale’s ears.

There’s a scream outside, so nearby that Marc physically flinches. For a minute he has a horrified thought that it could be in the motorhome with them, and he wrenches his body around to look at the door. The metal sheeting is still in place, just like the metal over the windows.

It won’t break in, he reminds himself. He presses his lips against the crown of Vale’s head like a blessing, like it might protect them both.

He thinks of the time he had been in Vale’s position and thought Alex was outside. They were in Vale’s motorhome that time, before they had started to put a name to the thing that was developing between them.

“Marc! Are you in there? Please let me in!” the thing had screamed in Spanish.

Marc had shot up from where they were seated on Vale’s couch in silence, and Vale had thankfully gotten to him before he reached the door. Vale had gripped him around the waist, yanking him backward.

“No!” Marc had said, and Vale had clapped his hand over Marc’s mouth.

“Marc, that is not Alex,” Vale had hissed in his ear. He had dragged him away from the door, and Marc had struggled and cried.

“Marc!” the voice outside called, coming nearer. Marc sobbed against the hand pressed to his mouth. Vale dragged him into the toilet of his motorhome, shutting the door behind them and bracing his body against it. He forced Marc to look at him, keeping a hand over his mouth.

“Marc, that is not your brother. It’s not him and you know that,” he had whispered desperately. Marc had pressed his face hard against Vale’s neck and sobbed silently, and Vale had covered Marc’s ears for him.

It was a long time that they sat there, pressed tightly together while Marc prayed to every God that his baby brother was safe.

It was after that experience that Vale had suggested Marc and Alex have a code; a way to prove to one another that they were safe.

Marc can’t remember if he ever thanked Vale for that.

Marc thinks of that now, as he sits with his own hands over Vale’s ears. Marc wishes he could make it end, but he knows that if the anomaly is still outside now it will be a long time before they’re released from the lockdown and fear.

The voice outside has stopped, at least, so Marc takes his hands off of Vale’s ears. Vale doesn’t let go of him, but his arms relax a little.

“I think it’s gone away,” Marc whispers. “It’s silent, at least.”

Vale takes a shuddering breath.

A scream sounds from outside; Marc guesses it’s a motorhome or two over, but it sounds as if it’s in their ears. Marc flinches hard.

“Not gone,” Vale hisses.

Marc glances apologetically at him, then sighs and wraps his arms around Vale’s neck. They’re already in too close and intimate a position as it is. They’ve crossed a line that Marc knows they’ll regret later, but he doesn’t care. His heart has been racing since the whole ordeal started, and if pressing himself against Vale makes him feel a little less terrified he’s going to do it. Vale doesn’t seem bothered, and his arms are still around Marc’s waist.

“It’s going to be okay,” Marc whispers.

Vale snorts. “Are you telling that to me or yourself?”

“Both,” Marc admits. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard one so close.”

Vale is silent for a moment.

“We had one a few months ago in Tavullia. I was there with the boys.”

Marc can only imagine how tight Vale’s security is at the ranch.

“It was you outside.”

Marc’s heart stops in his chest.

“What?” Marc asks, voice coming out just slightly too loud. Vale squeezes him a little tighter and they both sit silently for a moment, holding their breath and listening.

Nothing makes a sound, so they relax slightly.

“It had your voice. I almost opened the door.”

Marc has no idea what to say about that, so he rests his head on Vale’s shoulder. He wonders how the academy riders must have reacted to that; he’s surprised Uccio didn’t open the door to run outside and punch him in the face. The mental image of Uccio running full force at a void horror because of his hatred of Marc is such a fine line between hilarious and disturbing that Marc has to cover his mouth to muffle the high pitched, hysterical laughter bubbling up.

Vale runs a hand through his hair.

“Calm down,” he whispers flatly. “I don’t know what you’re laughing at.”

Marc shakes his head. If he tries to explain he can only imagine he’ll laugh harder.

Once he calms down he climbs off Vale’s lap and lays down on the bed, coaxing the older man into joining him. At first Vale stays far from him, but Marc gives him a dry look and Vale gives in. It’s not as if they haven’t already been on top of one another; pretending like they need to be separated is almost funny.

Vale allows Marc to cuddle up to him, and after all these years Marc still slots against him easily. Their bodies both still remember how to fit together; where to put their arms and legs so that they match up like puzzle pieces.

“I miss this,” Marc says, heart still pounding. It’s a cliche, he knows; it’s a notorious joke that there’s nothing that makes you want to bare your soul like a void event. There’s just something about thinking you’re going to die that brings out the honesty in people.

Vale is so quiet that Marc wonders if he’s pretending he didn’t hear him.

“I do too,” Vale says.

“What?” Marc asks, freezing.

“I miss you. I’m still angry, though,” Vale admits.

“I’m sorry,” Marc says. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I never hurt you on purpose.”

He knows Vale doesn’t believe him, and the silence hangs heavy between them. Marc wishes he could make Vale see the truth in his words. He wishes he could do anything that would make Vale understand.

The next thing Marc knows, he’s waking up to the blare of the release sirens.

“Attention all drivers and staff. The void creature has been neutralized and the anomaly event is over. You may leave your shelter and resume regular activities. Please stay alert for any further emergency communications. Repeat. Attention all drivers and staff. The void creature has been neutralized and the anomaly event is over. You may leave your shelter and resume regular activities. Please stay alert for any further emergency communications.”

“Pecco,” is the first thing Marc says, and Vale jolts up from the bed and scrambles for his phone. It’s already vibrating with incoming messages by the time he picks it up, and Marc can see as Vale’s entire body relaxes.

“He’s fine,” Vale says, voice cracking. “He’s okay.”

Marc sits up and pulls Vale toward him, hugging him tightly in relief. They’re both shaking now, from the rush of adrenaline and relief.

“He’s okay,” Marc repeats. “Thank God.”

Marc’s own phone is vibrating with messages of friends checking in, but he and Vale stay holding one another anyway.

When they finally have the energy to release one another, they don’t hurry to get up. The rest of the paddock will be recovering, taking stock of who was injured. Everything will no doubt be cancelled for the rest of the day.

They take their time opening the metal shields and restoring the motorhome to normal. They don’t move far from one another either, though they don’t acknowledge that.

“Why did you want to open the door? In Tavullia?” Marc blurts.

He thinks that there’s a non-zero chance that Vale leaves here and never speaks to him again anyway, so he may as well ask.

Vale is quiet for a moment, but he puts his phone down.

“It was a moment of panic. I thought– I thought that if I didn’t open the door for you I’d really never see you again; nevermind that it didn’t make sense for you to be there. I just thought that I couldn’t let you die.”

Marc has a lump in his throat that makes it hard to talk.

“I know you don’t believe me when I say it but I love you. I never meant to hurt you.”

Vale isn’t looking at him, and when he doesn’t raise his head to look at him Marc turns his back, busying himself with putting away the bottled water and snacks they didn’t use when they were under lockdown.

“I know, I think,” Vale says. “I think I know that you didn’t mean it.”

Marc’s heart is racing and he freezes in place.

“I love you, Marc. I’m still so angry but I do love you.”

“Just give me a chance,” Marc says desperately. “Let me fix things.”

Vale looks at him for a long moment.

“Okay.”

#if you saw this when I accidentally posted it no you didn't #marc marquez #valentino rossi #rosquez #horror au #mm93 #vr46

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maximura · 7 months

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Happy Year Of The Dragon for all those who celebrate Lunar New Year. Wishing you all a healthy, safe and prosperous 2024.

#year of the dragon #lunar new year #ateez #seonghwa #mingi #san #wooyoung #Ateez Bias Line #the bias line is a literal line #it's half of ateez lol ugh

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lunapwrites · 2 months

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You'll Understand

It was an eyeroll-evoking statement, even then: you'll understand when you have your own. If anything, Lily thought, she understood far less.

When Harry had come screaming into the world - full-chested bellows, really, very healthy the midwife said - she didn't feel the swell of transcendent love her own parents had promised. She felt... unmoored. Confused, even. Where did you come from? her body seemed to say - far from a rejection, but more curious than accepting, even as she gathered the still-sticky infant to her breast. He had gazed up at her with unfocused eyes, sharp little nails clawing gently but insistently at her bared flesh, as James had sobbed openly beside her and she simply stared. Ten fingers, ten toes, and a wild mop of dark hair. A tiny rosebud mouth that sucked at the open air, searching. Hers, and yet his own.

She was no stranger to exhaustion - not during a war - nor to overwhelm, nor to her temper getting the better of her. The newness was more in how she bore it - with a patience she did not know she possessed. It was in how her body felt, in the way it moved. She ached. She bled. She watched her breasts in fascination as tiny beads of pearl white liquid pooled up at the tips, dripping at a single warbling cry from her son. And that, too, was new - her son. She had a son.

And her son - her Harry - was a tiny, needy thing. Always wanted to be held. Needed to hear her heartbeat as he slept. He'd fussed and cried and she cried because she couldn't distinguish hunger from gas pains from a cry for comfort, screaming until they were both red in the face.

For his part, James had stayed up all night with the baby Harry her son!. He fixed breakfast in the mornings, and supper in the evenings. Laundered the nappies and the blankets and the tiny babygrows with impossible amounts of stains on them. He'd forgotten to eat or sleep the first few days. He'd gotten rather sharp with the cat for trying to lick the baby's face. Ready, even then, to protect him.

For hers, Lily had begun to learn what she was capable of. The limits of her patience. Her ability to juggle - sometimes literally. Her pain threshold tried and tested by the crush of labour, by the angry inch of once-torn flesh that she could swear still stung, by the sharp stabbing agony of an improper latch, delicate flesh gnashed in deceptively strong jaws - and yet still, she had held him gently. Cradled him as he tore at her, howling in pain. The instinct to clench, to jerk away from the source overridden by... something. A need to shield him, no matter the cost to herself, that came as easily as breathing.

It terrified her, the way her body seemed to move of its own accord now. The way she could be Lily in one breath, and Mother the next. The way she could be the lamb and the knife and the hand that held it all at once. The way the stories had it all wrong, that she had made this tiny God in her own image, carried him beneath the cradle of her ribs, and every atom in her body still ached to put him back: safe.

And now, a year later, there were new terrors: a crooked length of bone-white wood leveled at her heart - at the tiny boy shielded behind her (outside her body, not safe.) The knowledge that this man - that anyone - would, without hesitation, snuff out the life she had so carefully preserved through so many (not enough) tear-filled days and long, sleepless nights. The thought of the one thing she could not, would not bear.

(She didn't think about what it meant that he was here, in the nursery, and James was not. She couldn't; there was no time.)

Lily reached behind her back blindly, her hand finding five little fingers wrapped around the bars of his crib. One last moment to marvel at him, to wish for him to grow healthy and happy and strong. To run her thumb over his knuckles, still damp from chewing his fist. She felt him reach out with the other, gripping the back of her nightshirt as he whined, as she willed a silent apology into his soft skin, as her unwilling mouth opened of its own accord and the last words she'd ever speak spilled into the merciless night.

"Take me instead."

#lily evans #harry potter #we are in our feels today folks #lp writes #hp #this may have taken several weeks lol

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candycandy00 · 4 months

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Can you please write some hc's of pirate Sukuna reuniting with the reader and their daughter. Maybe he happens to raid another ship which they happen to be sailing on.

Okay!

It depends on a lot of things (the daughter’s age, how often he visits them, etc.) but lets just say the daughter is around six years old and even though it’s been a while since he visited (like a year or so), his tattoos are so distinctive that even a child her age could recognize him.

The pirates on the raiding crew are mostly new, so they don’t recognize Reader or her daughter, so the two of them are tied up like the rest.

When Sukuna boards the ship, looking all menacing and intimidating, a loud cry of “Papa!” rings out across the deck.

Two things happen at the same time: Sukuna notices his princess is tied up and the two pirates who did it realize they’re dead men walking. Reader had tried to tell them who she was, but they hadn’t listened.

Sukuna immediately frees Reader and their daughter and has them escorted to his ship while he takes care of the rest. Meaning he slaughters every other passenger without even picking any women for the crew (something he started back doing after Reader left) and guts the two pirates in particular who had the gall to put their filthy hands on his girls.

The whole thing puts him in a bad mood, because he’s went to great lengths to keep them safe but here they are, in danger. But his mood improves when he goes back to his ship, opens the door to his quarters, and his little girl is waiting to leap into his arms.

While he has his reputation to protect in front of his crew, in the privacy of his quarters he’s totally wrapped around his daughter’s finger. She can do no wrong, and there’s nothing he won’t buy or do for her. Reader worries about their relationship, because Sukuna simultaneously spoils their daughter rotten and stays away from her, so it’s not like they can build a strong and healthy relationship (Reader wishes he would send less gold and gifts and instead visit more often).

Truthfully, he’s always thinking of them and would like to see them more, but he would rather live without them than put targets on their backs. He has a lot of enemies. But now they’re on the ship with him and they’re a three week voyage away from where they were going. So this will be the longest amount of time he’s ever spent with his daughter.

He shows her around the ship and she basically has the run of it. He orders a couple of his most trusted crew members to keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t get hurt. They even watch her some nights so that he and Reader can have some time alone.

After the three weeks are up and he drops them off, he won’t admit it to anyone but he misses them terribly. He’s in a sour mood for days afterward. But he does start visiting them more often after that.

#thanks for the ask!#sukuna x reader

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aelenavelaryon · 10 months

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Hey guys! This story will have three or four parts. Or at least I’m hoping it will. Also, please bear with me as I recently started posting here so things are still new to me. I’m not quite sure on how to use tumblr to post yet so it might take a while! Thank you! 🤍

Robert Baratheon x Reader

Summary: In which history repeats itself once again. Or does it?

Robert had known young Rhaenyra all his life and they were sort of friends and some would even say they were somewhat close. When he sat on the Iron Throne she was the only one brought out, Jon Arryn saw it fit for the eldest of the Targaryen's to be the one to confront Robert. There she stood, in the middle of the room. All the lords eyes were on her. She said nothing, what could she say? "Your brother is dead" was the first thing Robert said to her. "I killed him. I wish I could kill him again" Rhaenyra's eyes filled with tears but none fell out. She didn't want to cry. She wouldn't allow them that satisfaction.

"What will happen to us?" she asked. "To Viserys, to Jaehaerys" everyone turned to her as he said the other name. "Who is Jaehaerys?" Jon asked. "He is my son. My son with Brandon Stark" Brandon lived but he was now married to Catelyn. "He is married to Catelyn Tully now" Robert said and she nodded. "I know" she replied. "The boy is a bastard" Tywin said and she glared at the man. "Kill her now. Avoid another rebellion" Tywin Lannister said and everyone turned to look at him. "I know you would like that, my lord. Did you enjoy having Elia and her children murdered as well?" she asked. "Lannisters. They have always been traitors. That has not changed in the past two hundred years it seems" he took a step but Ned Stark stood near her.

"Princess Rhaenyra is not at fault for her brother's sins. She is innocent" he spoke for her. "She's a whore! She and that bastard son of hers will bring nothing but trouble to the realm just as her brother has!" Tywin said. Ser Arthur, pulled out his sword as did Ned. "Hold your tongue, Lannister" was all Ser Arthur said. "Mind your tongue, Lannister" Robert stood in front of her. Rhaenyra was known as the Realm's Angel. or the Realm's Desire. Some even called her the Realm's Delight, referring at the nickname the realm gave the black queen Rhaenyra Targaryen, her ancestor.

"I propose a marriage between King Robert Baratheon and princess Rhaenyra Targaryen" Jon said making both Robert and Rhaenyra to look at him. "She's a child" Arthur said. "A child who bore a healthy son" Tywin scoffed. "She's been sullied. She cannot marry a king" he stated. "Robert has bed at least half of Westeros. It will not matter. Let's remember that House Velaryon, House Tyrell, and House Martell still support house Targaryen. This will ensure the peace in the realm. Specially after the chaos that this rebellion imposed on the realm" Robert looked at Rhaenyra. She was a child. She was seven years younger than him. She nodded. She did not object. She hoped that as the queen she could keep her son and brother safe.

It wasn't long before she was married off. The princess did not complain, she did not fight, she obeyed. They got married on the Great Sept. Brandon arrived with his family. With his wife and their son. Their legitimate son. It was said that Brandon loved her, he married Catelyn Tully for duty. He married her so her father could be on their side when the war was just beginning. He loved Rhaenyra as some said she loved him. But, the world will never know if she loved him as much as he did her. That was another secret she would take to her grave.

She sat with her husband as he drank himself numb. Robert didn't love her, she was sure he never would but he cared for her. When she arrived to her new chambers she found a box, inside laid three eggs. One was a black with red. The other was red with gold, and the other one was a blue and white color. Robert arrived a while later. The two did her their duty as quick as possible, Robert tried to be gentle but Rhaenyra was a woman of passion and asked for more and he complied. Perhaps it would not be so bad.

Princess Rhaenyra gave birth nine moons later to a son. A son who she named Daemon Baratheon Targaryen. Daemon was all his mother but the eyes. He held Rhaegar Targaryen's eyes. A year after him came Orys Baratheon, now that one was a Baratheon through and through. There was no ounce of Rhaenyra on him. Prince Aemon came two years later along with Aemond who were the spitting image of his mother. Robert used to laugh when he spoke to Rhaenyra about their sons as the boys all resemble her but not him aside from Orys.

Robert loved Jaehaerys as his own son, he had taken him and Viserys as his wards. He began to teach them how to fight. When the princess decided to visit Dragonstone a tragedy struck her. She had miscarried. The Maester had told her she had been poisoned. To bury her child, she had pyre made for the cremation and her dragon eggs were set inside alongside the babe. Her child had died but she left her mother with the greatest gift she could ask for. Dragons. Three of them. The eldest she called Balerion as the dragon was the spitting image of the black dread. The other she named Caraxes as the dragon was the same color and it seemed he too would look like the first blood wyrm. The third she named Syrax as he had been just like queen Rhaenyra's dragon. When she returned she returned with three dragons on her shoulder. House Targaryen would prevail.

#aegon targaryen x reader #jacaerys velaryon x reader #daemon targaryen x reader #game of thrones x reader #aemond targaryen x reader #house of the dragon #house of the dragon x reader #rhaenyra targaryen #ser criston cole x reader #harwin strong x reader #rhaegar targaryen #robert baratheon

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xoxochb · 2 months

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semaine de la mode

idk if you'd do this, but can i request jason grace x praetor!daughter of bacchus to lacy?

reader and jason have been friends for as long as they could remember (aka since they were five years old) and she's got this biggest crush on him, but no one knows about it, even jason.

skip to when he vanishes, she looks for him day and night, like she vowed not to stop looking for him.

and then, he comes back with piper as his gf

basically “you've got the one thing that i want,” is reader kinda telling piper? idk if that makes sense.

long story short, reader decides to join the hunters of diana/artemis bcs she can't handle the heartbreak anymore. but, piper had already broken up with jason bcs she knows bro is in love with reader, he just forgot about it (aphrodite kid skillz)

pls make it a happy ending 😭

⋆·˚ ༘ * lacy

warnings: angst with resolved ending pairing: jason grace x praetor! daughter of bacchus a/n: this really isn’t my best work I’m sorry 😭

you would have to disagree when people said childhood crushes never last because in your case you feel it may never end. your undying love for the son of jupiter started when you were five the moment your eyes settled on him, his blond hair and electric blue eyes captivating. for as far back as your crush you had been best friends, always. did you not give enough signs? or was jason grace an oblivious idiot?

oh how you wish he would know. nobody knew. you were left to suffer silently with your feelings. praetor duties had to come first, if you were to confess your feelings and be rejected it would make your life at camp more difficult than it already was, you’d have to suppress your love for the rest of your life. both you and jason being praetors would have made things worse, you would see him all the time! you couldn’t live with the awkwardness of that

one day you awoke to find that your very crush had gone missing, no trace of anything left behind. the first day was a shock. missing? you knew jason, which is why you knew exactly that he would leave like this. the second day you began an investigation, collecting information from his peers. where did you see him last? what was his demeanor? did he have a reason? was he forced?

you were left with many unanswered questions meaning you had to work yourself. day and night you searched every inch of camp jupiter, twice a day until you suspected he wasn’t at camp anymore. you then took it upon yourself to check the nearby premises of camp, checking lakes, forests, streets, anything you could find. even if your friends at camp insisted you take a break, sleep, eat, anything deemed healthy you refuses to give up looking, you couldn’t do anything until you knew jason was safe

“y/n I am begging you please sleep you’re going to kill your self” reyna sprawls along your bed, asking you for the millionth time to take a break

you learn back against the headboard of your bed. “I couldn’t sleep even if I wanted to”

“eat something at least”

“I’m not hungry”

reyna sits up to face you. “you’ve got to be, you haven’t eaten in weeks”

you shrug and reyna sighs, standing up. “I’m going to get you something to eat and I’m going to stay here until you finish it”

you watch as the praetor leaves, only hoping she won’t keep her words

ੈ✩‧₊˚

a week later you receive the greatest of news that jason had returned to camp and almost ecstatic you rush to the crowd, only to find him looped arms with another girl- a beautiful girl you would have to assume she was one of venus’ children. your heart breaks into tiny pieces when you realize you spent all your time searching for a boy who found love in another girl

does she know she has the one thing you’ve always wanted? probably not

you leave to your cabin, yet again being left with your relentless thoughts. did he forget about you? about how you were best friends? did he purposely get a girlfriend? of course he liked her she was probably more put together than you ever were- silly daughter of bacchus nobody would want to date you. rambunctious, filled with energy, jason had every right not to chose you

later that night you received a knock on your door. and of course it was just as you were falling to sleep for the first time in forever. sleepily you answer it, facing the very boy occupying your thoughts. should you hug him or should you slam the door in his face?

“hey” you mutter, almost awkwardly.

“can I come in?”

no.

“yeah, sure”

you lead jason to your bed, both taking seats. the silence you once thought comforting you wish wasn’t there

you play with the edges of your blanket. “why did you leave?”

“it wasn’t by choice. I got all my memories wiped”

“then what?”

jason sighs. “I woke up on a bus. piper was there. so was leo. I didn’t understand anything, I’ve never met them in my life but they claimed to know me so I assumed I did. over time my memory started coming back slowly, I started remembering you, my best friend. I couldn’t wait to come back to see you”

you discard you blanket and bring your legs up to your chest, resting your head on your knees. “she’s your girlfriend? a daughter of venus perhaps?”

“aphrodite”

“she’s pretty. I’m happy for you”

jason stays silent for a moment, you assume trying to think of the right words because what the hell are you supposed to say to someone after being gone for weeks?

“I missed you y’know?”

you feel tears threaten to escape your eyes, thankful for the darkness of the cabin.

“I missed you too” you whisper

“do you want me to stay over tonight? like old times?”

“I don’t think your girlfriend would like you laying with another girl”

jason nods, respecting your wishes. “will I see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be busy”

oh how you hated lying to him. disappointment fills his senses, you can almost feel it radiating off him. jason takes this as a hint and leaves, allowing you be alone

the sleep you were about to get was replaced by tear filled eyes, staining your pillow

ੈ✩‧₊˚

was love worth the tears? was a boy worth the tears? it couldn’t have been. a big decision awaits you as the hunting goddess stands before you

“are you sure this is what you want?” asks diana

you nod. “I think, yes”

diana sighs. “as much as I hate love I don’t think you should join just because of one boy. Immortality is a serious decision, not something you’d do over a silly situation. I will come back in a few days and ask you the same question, I want you to think about this thoroughly”

you obey her words. was this too soon? you visit the lake, skipping rocks on the water. one, two, three, four, five, six… it falls down into the water

“I didn’t know you were a professional rock skipper” a voice says behind you, a voice you know all too well

you turn around to face jason grace. “what are you doing here?”

jason walks towards you, picking up a rock and skipping it, not making it nearly as far as yours

“I wanted to talk to you”

“about what?”

“you- uhm, me. us?” he sighs before continuing, “last night, our talk… it made me realize something. well actually piper made me realize it. I always thought of us as best friends, our friendship was always something special to me but I thought it was just because we were friends. but when you said I couldn’t stay over at your cabin it made me think maybe we were always closer than I thought. after I left I was talking to piper about you, and you know her being a daughter of aphrodite she seems to know about this love stuff. she told me she felt that I liked you and I told her about how close we were and about how we’ve always been friends. she made me realize that we’ve never been just friends”

“what are you trying to say?”

“I’m trying to say that I like you and I’ve been too stupid to realize it”

“you’re not stupid, jason”

“I am. I’m really stupid and I feel awful that I never acknowledged your feelings and let you think I just thought of us as friends all this time”

“are you sure? you’re not just saying this to make me feel better?”

“of course not, y/n/n. if you still like me and you don’t think I’m a complete idiot I would love to be your boyfriend”

you might’ve shed a tear or two. pure relief floods through you. happy tears flow from your eyes and jason pulls you into his chest, allowing you to let your tears out. he runs his hand up and down your back in a comforting notion until you calmed down

you lift your head up to look at him for the first time since he’s got back, making you realize how much you truly missed him

“I still think you’re an idiot” you mumble

“I’m fine with that, I deserve it”

you laugh. “jason?”

“yeah?”

“I’d love for you to be my boyfriend too”

jason smiles. the same one he’s always reserved for just you. “would it be okay if I kissed you?”

with the close proximity you were in any other boy would’ve went for it regardless of what you wanted. but you knew jason grace. he was the same boy that always made sure your comfort and needs came before his

“of course”

without another thought he leans in to capture your lips. for the first time, and hopefully never the last

#xoxochb #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo series #pjo fandom #percy jackson #pjo #percy series #pjo hoo toa #pjo spoilers #jason grace imagines #jason grace x y/n #jason grace x you #jason grace #jason grace x reader #percy jackson x you #percy jackson x reader

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riizebabie444 · 11 months

Text

𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪 🩶

🩶 ─── in this reading, we will explore the qualities of the careers and fields you are best suited for, suggested careers for you and other career messages meant for you.

🩶 ─── picking your pile: take a deep breath and allow your soul to centre itself. when you feel your mind balanced and cleared, allow yourself to be drawn to an image. your eyes may gravitate to one, or you may close your eyes and feel which image is calling out.

🩶 ─── be sure to check out my other readings and don’t forget to share and give feedback. disclaimer: all readings done are for entertainment only. please do not use my tarot readings as a replacement for legitimate advice.

🩶 ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.

donations. games/events. feedback.

🩶 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚

this is a random message but it is very clear. for some or most of you, the career or field you are wishing to go into at the moment, or the one you are already in, is the right one for you. there is also a message to explore your creative potential. it doesn't necessarily mean creating art like music, writing, paintings etc (although that may be true for some of you) it could also mean creative problem solving, a job which requires you thinking outside the box. working in a field where things are done differently to others in the industry. the image i have in mind is google. they do a lot to encourage creativity and the birth of new ideas. you'd fit best in a career which nurtures and encourages your creative side.

it's also best to be in a career where there is the opportunity to grow in every aspect, and to further your position over the years. for example, i don't think you'd feel comfortable and happy in a job where you stay in the same position for years doing the same thing every single day. some people are happy in those jobs. they like the stability and routine. however, you need a job where you can always learn new things and progress. i'm seeing progression is also important to you. it's important to go into a job where you have more opportunities to climb up the ladder, and it doesn't even need to be all about promotions. a job where you regularly switch tasks, or have new projects to work on. as long as you aren't doing the same things every day, you should avoid jobs which do.

a job where you can express the qualities of success and confidence. where you can prove to yourself and others that you are fully capable. it could also be a career which puts you in the public eye. something that makes you feel seen and appreciated. again, promotions are here. you want a job where you can progress to high places. perhaps even becoming a figure of leadership and authority. you may not be confident about such a position right now but when you find something you love and excel in, you would be the right fit for a leader. and for a number of you, caregiving roles may be good for you. it could be anything from nursing to therapy.

okay so here is where it gets a bit negative. with the three of swords you may experience job losses, or disappointment in being rejected from jobs. it could also indicate that you may end up stuck in a very stressful job and toxic work environment. you want to avoid places like that. however, i believe some of you may need to experience it in order to know what is the right or wrong job and workplace for you. and for a number of you i get the message that even though it is difficult and stressful, and the workplace is not good for your mental health, it will not last. you will find a better job or get promoted and belong in a much better space. so if you ever find yourself in that position, have hope that it will improve. i think it is also a message, especially if you are a leader, to not allow a toxic work environment to foster as it is your duty to ensure it is safe and healthy for everyone to work in.

enterprises might also be something you would work well in. i'm seeing representing small or local businesses, as well as larger corporations for a number of you. it could also be setting up your own business. for some of you, you may have a typical job in mind in order to pay your bills and support a family, but deep down you have a dream of having your own business or brand. at one point or another, you might be torn between keeping your job to pay your bills or leaving it all behind and investing in your own business. i think either is fine, however, for most of you who this applies too, the message is to find a balance between the two. you can work full time and have a passion project/business on the side. work on it slowly and over the years it will blossom, i'm hearing. it is crucial you do not pick between the two and instead find a balance.

to add the obvious, you may dream of being your own boss. and i think you would do amazing things as a leader, however, you still need some sort of discipline or balance from elsewhere. if you're your own boss for too long, you can easily get lazy and complacent. so it is important for you to keep a job elsewhere to ensure you don't lose routine or dedication.

one last message is to expect times of change in your career as much as you should expect times of stagnation. any job you have, you will experience boredom at times and excitement at other times. you need to hear this. jobs are not one dimensional. you should expect many things from your career, both good and bad. so don't get your hopes up too high and don't get too disheartened when things don't go your way.

suggested careers/fields: project manager, hair dresser/hair salon owner, investments, influencer, working up the ladder, franchise owner, higher education, professor, networking, entrepreneur, business law, accountant for local businesses, nursing, social worker, therapist, counsellor, childcare, HR, arts and fashion, selling and/or creating luxury goods, beauty guru, acting, admin, consulting, writer, researcher.

cards: high priestess, the empress, six of wands, three of swords, two of pentacle, wheel of fortune

🩶 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙬𝙤

i'm immediately hearing decision making. for some of you, a job where you can make the decisions would be good however for most, i am seeing that you may not fit best in careers where important decisions fall in your lap. to get one thing straight, every career will involve decision making at one point or another. but some careers involve very important decision making and i believe when you have too many important decisions to make on a regular basis, you can become very stressed. perhaps you are an indecisive person. overall, i think working in a position that requires heavy decision making would not be the best. however, if you are working with others to make decisions, i think it would be a good career for you.

for most of you, if not all, you will find success in the career of your taking. and for a lot of you, the cards are representing another person in regards to your career. a colleague or a business partner. if you dream of being your own boss, perhaps you would do well sharing this dream with someone else. it could also be a colleague. your career will lead to you meeting someone important. or vice versa, you will meet someone and they will help you get a really good job, the job of your dream. of course be careful, because people who help others often want help in return later down the line.

communication is a key theme here. a job which requires you to communicate your thoughts and ideas. for example, sharing stories as a writer, or even as an academic writer sharing research, or in law by communicating and mediating for your clients. i think for some of you, you would like a position of power. and for others you may not. for those who do, you would do well to use your power and authority for others rather than not doing so. you'd find more fulfilment and success by helping others. and mediating also. taking on communication responsibilities for third parties would be a good career for you. for example, an agent who helps people find jobs and corporations to find employees. hosting job interviews for the people you work for. even ghost-writing, communicating on behalf of the client. again with law. you may also enjoy the feeling of being responsible for transfers, employees, assets, moving companies. anything that involves moving one thing from one place to another.

i'm seeing disputes/conflict. perhaps you may deal with this a lot in your work environment or otherwise, it could mean your career typically involves this. i'm seeing HR settling an issue between employees. things like that. you might naturally be drawn to conflict or drama, and if not you are just interested in it. therefore, a position which allows you to be involved in it as an outsider would be interesting to you. there would always be something new to keep you on your toes. and you would feel very gratified after helping others solve their problems. in environments where there is lack of communication and poor leadership, you would fit in well in the role of solving these issues. it's very much a behind the scenes job but it is incredibly valuable to companies.

you need a job which will not disturb your work life balance. it's best to only take on a career which does not require you to work overtime, or where workload leaks into your private time and life. it is important to have a job where you can work hard, but only within the working hours. a job where you can give fair and honest work and feel appreciated enough to have your own time to spend with loved ones and yourself.

a job where you can always remain unbiased. you may feel uncomfortable picking sides so a place which encourages objectivity would be a good fit for you. you might also enjoy jobs in health and fitness. somewhere that encourages others to do their best. teaching, also. law and order are important also.

a slow paced environment would be perfect for you. fast paced might lead to high levels of stress. so slow paced is better. successful careers are built over time. you're not too fussed about seeing amazing results straight away because you know the best results always come after long and consistent efforts. so jobs which require you to be very patient would be good. you expect all of your work to pay off in the future. because of this, i also thing agricultural industries may be good. the final message is to not be swayed by other people's thoughts and opinions. there may be some people who have hidden motives with you and your career. you may struggle to make good decisions and not know who to trust which may end up with you trusting the wrong people. be careful, and hone in on your intuition because it will help you in the most crucial times of your career.

suggested careers/fields: animal care, justice system, politics, judge, lawyer, sales person, guidance counsellor, public speaking, doctor (not specifically medical but in other fields), self-employed, problem solving, mediator, HR, teacher, auditor, law, financial institutions, health and fitness, farming, gardening/landscaping, charity worker, social worker, engineer, scientist, STEM, activist, telecommunication, journalism, trading, public relations, events manager, customer service, liaison.

cards: the magician, the sun, two of swords rv, five of swords, justice, seven of pentacles, high priestess rv

🩶 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚

overall, this pile feels quiet and mellow. so i think calm jobs that don't involve too much excitement would be good for you. a job that doesn't require far too much effort from you, but you still know exactly what you are doing in the job. which is funny because most of the cards suggest otherwise, but the vibes i'm feeling are different. i randomly heard "beware of snakes" so maybe it is that you want to avoid bad vibes from others. you want to do well and have the personality and potential to perform incredibly (it is represented by the two aces and the magician) but you are afraid of attracting jealousy from others. most of you may believe in nazar, or the evil eye. you want to do well quietly, staying humble and not gaining too much attention from others.

you might want to avoid the overly friendly workplaces, the companies that tell you "we're all like family" because odds are your coworkers will be all up in your business when you don't want them to be. and more often that not, they may not like to see of hear about you doing well. of course, you can choose whichever company you want yo work for, this is all subjective. however, the message is strong here to not let coworkers get too close. if you feel like you need to be cautious, do not doubt it at all. jobs where you can work independently or remotely may be good for you. i think you enjoy the responsibilities and the isolation you can get from those jobs. you can really focus on your own work instead of worrying about socialising and networking (which are important, don't get me wrong but i think you are not the type of person to be heavily involved in such activities).

technology and IT. jobs where you're required to use your brain. you need mental and intellectual stimulation so jobs which require lots of brainwork would be great for you. also jobs which require you to have a sharp and quick mind, and even a quick tongue. a job where you need to respond quickly, on the spot. maybe as a lawyer or judge. i think you are the type of person who tends to avoid making decisions but i believe the best career for you would involve you needing to make decisions as a part of it.

i also see jobs where you can provide stability for others as well as providing stability for yourself. this could mean that setting up your own business to help or guide others would give you a lot of satisfaction. such as a personal trainer, life coach, dietician etc anything that will allow you to improve the lives of others. you could even be thinking of starting your own sales company. i'm seeing a position where you are calm, smart, and powerful. logical and rational, and also honest. key organisational abilities here, like secretarial duties. a job where you can keep things organised tightly.

there is a huge duality here. like, i see you craving to be a bold and confident person in your ideal job, someone who is admired by others but in reality you are afraid to be that person. maybe you are not used to being in the spotlight and you're not ready to start now. so you must find a balance between the two. you can be confident without needing to be in the spotlight. i think your biggest fear in regards to career is conflict. you want to avoid uneasy workplace relationships. you don't want to be too close with your coworkers but at the same time you don't want to be left out. you want to perform well and show off how good you are at what you do but you're terrified of other people being jealous of you. there's not much i can say other than jealousy is often rooted in workplaces. no matter where you work, there will always be others who are jealous of you, some places more than the next. however, what matter the most is your own comfort and confidence. don't admit to defeat out of fear of others. if you love a job. go for it. i'm literally hearing it right now. don't let your fear of others hold you back, but always be careful about what you share.

suggested careers/fields: IT, psychiatry, surgeon, engineer, affiliate marketing, life coach, personal trainer, fertility, army and police, investigations, detective, guide, translator, business job, nine to five, desk job, logistics, bargaining, vlogger, running your own business, innovation, writer, interior design.

cards: ace of swords, ace of pentacles, the magician, king of swords, five of swords, two of swords, nine of wands

🩶 𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧

i cannot say this first paragraph is for all of you however, it will resonate with some of you. the career you have in mind right now, or the one you are currently in, is not the right one for you. i see there needs to be some change or transformation in your career. of course it is not easy to just change career. but if you feel this message is for you, it might be worth looking into a new career which is more worth your time and effort. there is a decision that needs to be made. if you're thinking of switching careers/field, this paragraph and reading is definitely for you.

overall, i'm seeing two different sides to this pile. one side is an authoritarian side, position of power and respect. while the other is more caring and nurturing. your ideal career could be either of those, or both. i see a number of you preferring to be in a job with explicit structure. a jobs that tells you what you need to do. so you know what you need to do every day and there is no confusion over tasks or responsibilities. but at the same time, you want to have some freedom. every day cannot be the same or you'll get bored. that is why is see jobs involved in childcare. you know your responsibilities in regards to caring for children, but with children, no day will be the same. this could also be caring for animals, elderly people, people with disabilities or other vulnerable people.

and although jobs where you can connect with children would be good, any job which can allow you to connect with others in general is a good choice. particularly, partnerships. a business partnership would be great as you can connect with others as well as structure your own enterprise. and since you rely on a structure from others to keep you in order, having other people work with you in an enterprise can keep you in line. also, if you know about the principal agent theory, i think you would perform well as an agent. you do well when performing tasks on behalf of a principal. in addition, when you are working for someone else, you know what you are doing, and what you need to achieve in order to satisfy them. whereas if you are working entirely for yourself, you might often feel confused about what needs to be done.

practical jobs which require thinking (but not too much thinking) would be great for you. you like to be actively involved, both physically and mentally, in your work which means repetitive jobs that have you on autopilot most of the time would be too draining and unsatisfying for you. but still, i think you would greatly appreciate professional settings and/or professional boundaries. i believe some of you may also work well in a field which is somehow connected to your past. for example, if you grew up with financial difficulties, you would be most satisfied in finance. or if you had a difficult childhood, then you would enjoy giving care to children. if you really enjoyed school, you might be most comfortable working in a school. it's that kind of theme and is entirely subjective to your own experiences. but something from your childhood connecting with your career is relevant.

one message here is to let go of insecurities and jealousy and imposter syndrome. because you want to be the best of the best, and you compare yourself to others a lot. you might often feel inclined to outdo others. it's a normal feeling, but the cards here are saying to let go of those thought habits. it will not bring you anything good. building up a successful and stealthy career for yourself will greatly be based on creating a foundation from your values as well as your passion. so don't sabotage yourself or others for your own success. keep in line with your morals. spiritual guidance also comes up here. so perhaps seek some in order to overcome these traits, and maybe consider it as a part of your career.

i can't tell your stance on risk, i feel it is a mixed bunch here. some of you may like taking risk while others do not. if you feel like a career which involves risk is something you are interested in, the cards do tell you that it is a very important decision, however, you must make calculated risks. don't just take the leap of faith. you need a thorough plan. i also see something creative, like art or writing, maybe even food. take it as it resonates and if you feel attracted to pile one also, give it a read because that is the creative pile.

suggested careers/fields: hierarchy, desk job, large corporations, teaching, childcare, primary school, paediatric, healthcare, hospital, banking, army, tax, career advisor, funeral director, financial advisor, insurance, software engineer, therapist, lecturer, spiritual guide, bookkeeping, church, electricity/energy, power plants, technology, chef.

cards: the lovers, death, king of pentacles, six of cups, four of pentacles, the hierophant, the fool, two of swords

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