#wist's 100 days of productivity

[wiststudies]

42 / 100 days of productivity

5th november

☆ got chem marks ( passed with a 19/35 - still upset over it )

☆ bio revision class + physics class

☆ best friend got me cinnamon rolls to cheer me up

☆ studied for biology test

☆ barely drank water

☆ walked 4.5 K cuz my leg is still healing

[ms-m-astrologer]

The Week Ahead: January 27 - February 2, 2025

Executive summary: the midweek New Moon is a great time to start something important!

Lunar Phases

Wednesday, January 29, 12:36 UTC - New Moon, 9°51’ Aquarius

The key phrase for the New lunar phase is “set a new intention for the month” - not anything drastic, just one good habit you think you can establish in one month’s time. This is an especially good New Moon for broadening the horizons. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take,” as (probably) hockey superhero Wayne Gretsky once said.

Saturday, February 1, 22:20 UTC - Crescent Moon, 28°19’ Pisces

The key phrase for the Crescent lunar phase is “gather and mobilize resources.” There are implications beyond a mere lunar phase. We seek, to quote myself, “something wonderful you don’t dare believe could be meant for you.”

Void of Course Moon

Tuesday, January 28, 15:48 UTC (Capricorn) - 19:31 UTC (Aquarius)

Thursday, January 30, 11:29 UTC (Aquarius) - 22:52 UTC (Pisces)

Saturday, February 1, 22:06 UTC (Pisces) - Sunday, February 2, 01:10 UTC (Aries)

Retrograde/Direct/Etc.

Pre-retrograde shadow: Venus/Pisces (starting Tuesday the 28th), Juno/Scorpio, Vesta/Scorpio

Retrograde: Mars/Cancer, Jupiter/Gemini, Uranus/Taurus (until Thursday the 30th)

Post-retrograde shadow: Saturn/Pisces

Transiting Venus enters her pre-retrograde shadow on Tuesday, January 28, 20:22 UTC, at 24°37’ Pisces. This is NOT a good time to begin elaborate artistic projects, to get a drastic haircut, or to throw money away on whatever our chosen “escape” might be; some of our old lovers may re-enter our lives. (Ew.) Between now and mid-May, it’s time to work on our self-worth and our relationship skills.

Transiting Uranus stations direct on Thursday, January 30, 16:22 UTC, at 23°16’ Taurus. Once again its energies (in Taurus, “radical simplicity”) are directed outwards. BTW, the next time Uranus stations retrograde (September 5), it’ll be in Gemini. Yikes.

Ingresses

Tuesday, January 28, 02:53 UTC - transiting Mercury enters Aquarius

Mercury is very comfortable in Aquarius. We’re in for about 19 days of lightning fast thought - the intuition is almost instant. So be careful not to blurt things out! It’s also a good time to buy electronic equipment.

Wednesday, January 29, 06:54 UTC - transiting mean Lunar Nodes enter Pisces/Virgo axis

Time to focus less on being a nitpicking workaholic, and more on trusting the Universe. With some intense lessons coming up in March and April.

Et Cetera

There are three Opportunity Periods this week:

Tuesday, January 28, 04:52 UTC - 15:48 UTC. “This is an ideal time for productivity or getting in touch with friends or lovers.”

Wednesday, January 29, 12:06 UTC - 13:06 UTC. This is one-half hour before and after the Aquarius New Moon. “If you have something important to start around now, this is a great time to do it.”

Saturday, February 1, 09:02 UTC - Sunday, February 2, 01:10 UTC. “Use your imagination during this waxing Moon OP to start new artsy projects, have fun, or lose yourself in romance.”

Many of us are going to use the energies this week to shake off the doldrums and the gloom, and begin to re-engage in the world. Aquarius season is about group action, as much as it’s about cultivating our unique individuality. That New Moon is largely beneficial; there’s a slight risk we end up with a new obsession, but it’s slight - and maybe a little more staying power is just what we need.

Can’t seem to emphasize enough how marvelous Saturday and Sunday could be. Look for your most wistful secret daydreams while the Moon is in Pisces on Saturday - and when the Moon moves into Aries on Sunday, we can start to manifest them.

The Aquarius cross quarter day (when the Sun reaches 15°00’00” of Aquarius) is almost here - it’s on Monday, February 3, at 14:10 UTC.

[popbloganddropit]

The Tortured Poets Department - Taylor Swift (Part 1)

I’ll be posting 8 songs at a time to break this lengthy album up a bit.

Initial thoughts: She’s raw and unfiltered in a way she hasn’t been before.

But Daddy I Love Him and Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me are the immediate insane stand outs

The Black Dog? 🤮 CoSoSoM? 🫨 how did it end? Drag meeee for being nosy.

1. Fortnight (feat. Post Malone)- This is a very interesting introductory track/lead single. There’s some blending of (as far as we know) truth and fiction, which i think stays throughout the album. However, there’s not a ton for me lyrically or sonically for me to connect to here. The missing rhyme scheme in the first lines is distracting. I would have liked a little more Post Malone overall and a bit more duetting. I’m sure there’s some symbolism in their voices rarely overlapping in meaningful ways, but the hints of it we get sound good, and I want MORE. 3/5

Best Line: “All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February. I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary.”

2. The Tortured Poets Department- I like the sound of this, the melodies, most of the cheeky humor (“I think things I never say, like ‘Who uses typewriters anyway?’”), but the Charlie Puth and Golden Retriever lines really ruin it for me. They totally take me out of the vibe and are distractingly out of pocket. 2/5

Best Line: I like the “I’ve seen/read” lines in the pre-chorus, but the unhinged-ness of putting something as raw and exposed as, “But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave. And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen” in a public space really sets the tone of the album.

3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys- I love her echo-y, layered vocals. Her cadence sounds like war drums that really fits the toy soldier metaphor. I think some slight production tweaks would have really taken it over the top. The vocals sound so cool, but there’s still room for a little more than a thwacking drum machine and a hint of sparkly synth. 3/5

Best Line: I love “I’m queen of sandcastles he destroys”. Runner up goes to “‘Cause you should’ve seen him when he first ✨saw✨me”.

4. Down Bad- I love the alien abduction theme and the trippy production to match. The dichotomy of the space-y verses and daily-life drudgery of the chorus works on a metaphoric and Down bad crying at the gym? The self awareness to call it teenage petulance before just saying “fuck it”? People not getting that Miss Swift is sometimes jealous king around and doesn’t take herself seriously 100% off the time will never make sense to me. 4/5

Best Line: “Did you really beam me up, in a cloud of sparkling dust?”

5. So Long, London- once the beat comes in, we’re off to the races and you can’t quite catch your breath through this whole song, especially with the gut-punching lyrics. A beautiful arrangement from Aaron Dessner here that effortlessly carries the weight of anger and heartbreak. 5/5

Best line: “And you say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it, my white knuckle dying grip.”

6. But Daddy, I Love Him- I love everything about this song. It sounds like a sunny, summer day. Maybe the narrator is a little delusional, but whomst amongst us hasn’t been? The bridge telling people off a bit is a great moment for her. “I’ll tell you something about my good name, it’s mine alone to disgrace,” feels like something she’s needed to say for a while. 5/5

Best line: there’s a lot of great moments, but, “I’m having his baby. No, I’m not, but you should see your faces” is such a hilarious double-take moment upon first listen that it has to take the crown.

7. Fresh Out the Slammer- I have seen the steaming numbers and y’all are SLEEPING on this track! It’s sad, it’s wistful, it’s a little sexy, it’s everything. I love the rolling cadence of the verses and the slower, haunting choruses. The decelerating outro is perfection. 5/5

Best line: “Now, pretty baby, I'm running back home to you. Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to”.

8. Florida!!! (Ft. Florence and the Machine) - Florida has committed various atrocities on the people of the United States of America, but this is absolutely not one of them. A song of escapism, ghosts, and a banging drum chorus that earns those three exclamation points. Hurricane Florence is a beautiful addition to the track and it wouldn’t sound out of place on an album of hers either. Every line of this is an earworm that you’ll catch h yourself singing over and over again. Fuck me up, Florida (!!!), indeed. 5/5

Best Line: “Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine. Well me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time.”

[itwas50yearsagotoday]

8/31/23: It was 50 years ago today, August 31st, 1973, the Rolling Stones would release their eleventh studio album (in UK, 13th in USA) Goats Head Soup. Another example of Boomer Rock decline in 1973, this album has been much maligned in critics' circles, both in contemporary and recent reviews. As a whole it's hard to disagree... this album is a huge letdown from Exile and is certainly the worst Stones record since Their Satanic Majesties Request from '67. So is it all bad? Not at all, in fact I would say this record is a tad underrated... just a tad. I'll cover the two baddies... first, in what has to be worst album-opener for a major band ever, 'Dancing With Mr. D'... Mr. D is 'drugs' of course, and I think they were on some kind of barbiturate when the recorded this stinker... the melody rarely strays from the dirge of mid-tempo minor key chords, and has a shitty chorus... worst of all is my disappointment, I think. Book-ending this record is the final track 'Star Star' which is actually titled 'Starfucker' but their record distributor forced them to change it. I don't mind cursing in songs, but when that's all the song is about is where I object... Jagger singing 'star fucka star fucka star fucka star' etc... is just embarrassing nowadays; the music itself is some kind of Chuck Berry ripoff; again, a very disappointing album closer. That said, the the innards of this moldy bread sandwich are quite delicious. The two hits from this record are 'Angie' and 'Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo (Heartbreaker)'... the former I will cover next month; the latter we'll cover here because it was not a hit until well into '74, after this blog's completion. 'Heartbreaker' is pretty awesome (and frightening!), as it has this nasty 'wah wah' guitar sound from Mick Taylor throughout... very dark themed lyrics about kids taking heroin, kids getting accidentally shot by cops... it is very mid-1970s. It would peak on the U.S. charts at #15 in the spring of '74. Starting with track #2 the meat of this album begins... '100 Years Ago'. This could have been a hit if released as such... a somewhat pleasant but edgy melody for the first part of the song, and then it gets quiet for the bridge, and then drives into this tremendous jam that finishes out the final 90 seconds of the song. Gives me goosebumps, man. Speaking of goosebumps, that leads us to 'Coming Down Again'... my favorite Russian music critic hates this song, but I think it's great... again it fits the dark theme of the album, but instead we have sadness replacing terror, and wow... Taylor makes his guitar seem to weep (more so than Clapton even, thank you very much)... it may be too much for some folks, as it is five minutes of wistful depression, but gawd I love it. Honestly, Mick Taylor saves this record, full stop. After the two big hits we get to the fifth song in sweet succession 'Silver Train'... another Taylor moment with his slide-guitar throughout, it is definitely reminiscent of 'All Down the Line' from Exile but supposedly they'd been working on the song for a few years. The best part of the song is when Jagger is basically screaming the lyrics towards the end of the song. 'Hide Your Love' is okay, but it's a somewhat generic bluesy number. 'Winter' is definitely one of the highlights of the second side... kind of combo of 'Angie' and 'Coming Down' in sound, but somehow they make it feel like a cold sunny day, not exactly pleasant (I hate sunny winter days), but effective. Then we get to 'Can You Hear the Music' which sounds like a parallel to 'Can't You Hear Me Knocking' and it is a bit jammy, but the production is very muddled... not that great. So what you have on this record is the ultimate mixed bag of a record: three or four excellent songs and two or three awful songs, with decent filler. What the critics have right about this record is that it is the stepping off point for the Stones long, dinosaur-ish, decline, culminating in their final decent album Tattoo You eight years later (after that forget about it). Worth your time, mostly.

[shouga-nai]

Gigolo was an... interesting name. And Doppo's lips unwittingly pulled to a wistful smile as he listened. "I see..." Now that he thought of it, he and Hifumi may be close friends before, but did he really know Hifumi at all? Especially right now. It's uncanny the way they used to spend nearly every day together when they were younger. Now it's a struggle just trying to hold a simple conversation, as though they were perfect strangers-

"Huh, y-you would?" Doppo blinked, then fumbled about with said wares. "Ah, right... sorry. I have revitalizing tonics for healing and boosting stamina," he lifted bottles of light green and yellow mixtures respectively, then gestured to a red bottle. "That one should give a boost in strength. And this..."

He picked up one bottle in particular with extra care. His personal favourite blend. "This one soothes. Calms nerves and helps with sleep. But... I keep getting weird looks for it." The dark purple concoction might be a bit intimidating.

He knew his products work as intended. He gathered the right ingredients and followed recipes to a T. Maybe he could've made them look more appetizing somehow, and easier on the tastebuds... but they're health tonics! They're not going to be sweet and delectable like dango milk. It figures that people want quality tonics and yet expect them to taste like dessert. The severe lack of sales was telling though. Tough crowd, or maybe he really was simply a terrible potioneer...

"100 Mora per bottle." And he constantly felt he should lower the price still. "If you're still interested, I can throw a bottle in for free. Any one you like."

"Hoh, my deepest apologies!" The peacock throws his head back in hearty laughter, though it's only when he looks back to check on Hifumi that he removes his tail feathers from Doppo's sight. Turning around, he peeks over the top of Doppo's head to examine the bottles.

It takes a bit for Hifumi to finally relax. Even still, his heart still shakes in his chest, fearful of another accusation. So much for keeping a good impression if he can barely hold himself together even in front of Doppo.

He needs to, quickly. Gigolo's already keeping Doppo's attention off him by carrying the conversation, so--oh, Hifumi had completely forgotten...

"I--didn't introduce you two, my bad. That's... on your head. His name's Gigolo." He's been lacking in creativity when he named the peacock, though Gigolo had loved the name. "He's my..."

"Dearest partner, of course!" Gigolo exclaims, full of enthusiasm. "I know his heart better than most! And so I'm pleased to say that we'd like to purchase some of your wondrous wares!"

"... Yeah, I've been wanting to. My supplies were running low." Which is a bit of an understatement, but Hifumi's made it work before. "Er... which one does what and how much are they, again...?"

[miminiac]

Korrasami had build up, just maybe not one you identified with and that’s okay...

I am tired of the LGBTQ+ community hating on Legend of Korra (LoK) for not being gay enough. The critique that there wasn’t enough build up is (1) not productive at all and (2) honestly, not true. There was build up. It may not be the build up every LGBTQ+ person will like, and it may not relate to the experience of every person’s coming out, but it was there. Korrasami was something the creators had tossed around as soon as Book 1 (not that they necessarily had permission to do anything about it). Take this quote from Bryan Konietzko’s tumblr post after the finale aired:

As we wrote Book 1, before the audience had ever laid eyes on Korra and Asami, it was an idea I would kick around the writers’ room. At first we didn’t give it much weight, not because we think same-sex relationships are a joke, but because we never assumed it was something we would ever get away with depicting on an animated show for a kids network in this day and age, or at least in 2010. (link)

The post also discusses how Makorra was never meant to be endgame after Book 1. Again, the time LoK was airing was at a point where states were passing laws to actively prevent gay marriage (LoK ended in 2014, legalization of same-sex marriage by supreme court ruling wasn’t until 2015––context is important). Did they actively write a romance in Books 1 and 2, no they did not. However, as many creators and writers, they let the characters lead them and they discovered that Korra and Asami were more than just friends. Again, taken from the same post:

The more Korra and Asami’s relationship progressed, the more the idea of a romance between them organically blossomed for us

So what we have with Korra and Asami is not a planned romantic relationship from the very beginning, however, the characters have been leading them there since the beginning, whether they realized it or not. Now, I am a big fan of Barthes’ “Death of the Author”, so I 100% percent think that viewers/readers have the ability to inject their own narratives and that multiple narratives can coexist. However, the point of this post is to explain why a critique of “wish they did more” is not productive when it comes to discussion of LoK of a piece of LGBTQ+ media representation. Therefore, I turn to the creators to show that there was intent and there was subtext and build up within Book 3 and 4 (as Bryan discusses in his post, please read in full when you have time).

A lot of Korrasami was hidden in subtext, and that happened because of homophobia within the industry, which still exists today. Content creators of LGBTQ+ media continue to have to walk a fine line. Take Noelle Stevenson talking about Catradora:

My big fear was that I would show my hand too early and get told very definitively that I was not allowed to do this

And like with Catradora (though a little easier since Noelle told viewers that every character is a part of the LGBTQ+ community by default unless explicitly stated otherwise), people saw Korrasami from as early as Book 2 (if not Book 1 on a rewatch).

At the time LoK started airing, I still thought I was straight; I still thought I was straight when I was watching the third season and telling my then boyfriend how Korra and Asami were going to be a couple by the end (literally, when they interacted in the first episode of season 3 while Asami taught Korra how to drive, I turned to him and said it; he said they would never do that and it was a pipe dream). I continued to see Korrasami’s friendship build into something romantic (even if the characters themselves were unaware of it).  

Come Season 3 Episode 9, where Asami carries away a helpless Korra, mimicking Katara having carried away a helpless Aang. For those who had watched the original series and were big Korrasami shippers, this scene basically made it canon. It could be argued as the point that maybe the friendship switched to something more romantic. The rest of season 3 and all of season 4 only added moments between these two (side note: I came out as bisexual soon after season 4 started airing, though I had been questioning my sexuality probably since the end of season 3).

Now is the Korrasami relationship perfect, absolutely not. Bryke admits as much, but it was a significant step forward. Again, this happened in 2014, so a lot of narrative within media of states passing laws to discriminate against same-sex couples and deny marriage. The hand-holding scene everyone screams about not being enough. Well, they received plenty of homophobic backlash from that.

The critique that they didn’t do enough is not productive. It is a critique that could be said about most main-stream LGBTQ+ media. I get that we are tired of scraps; I get that we are tired of having to read between the lines because creators are still afraid to come out and say it (pun intended). However, to critique LoK as “not being gay enough” ignores the context in which it was created and what that representation meant to many of the viewers (like myself) who were discovering themselves and their sexuality at the time.

Avatar: the Last Airbender (ATLA) was made for 8-13 year olds (from season 1), and I would argue that LoK was made for that same group of people, who would have then been 14-19 years old when LoK first aired. Thus, LoK was being watched by those entering high school and college––a time of self-discovery.

Additionally, a critique that LoK doesn’t do enough leads to an idea that there is “a right way” to create a LGBTQ+ relationship, which I would argue is harmful to the community at large. If you did not identify with Korra’s coming out, that’s completely valid. If you did not identify with the way the Korrasami relationship progressed, that is also valid. But you cannot invalidate the relationship of Korrasami, as a relationship built off a friendship and mutual respect that blossomed by into something more. The relationship was not sexualized with wistful glances and blatant sexual tension, instead, it was built on a friendship and respect for boundaries.

Again, multiple narratives can be drawn given each viewer has a unique set of experiences. One such reading could show that Asami was more in tune with her feelings for Korra than Korra was about her feelings for Asami. And, instead of flirting non-stop with Korra, Asami respects Korra’s space (though we all saw her check out Korra’s back muscles) and recognizes that Korra has a lot on her plate being the avatar, a relationship is not something on the forefront of her mind. It is only after defeating Kuvira (and the healing/growth from a few episodes prior in "Beyond the Wilds”) that Korra is able to truly understand her feelings to Asami, suggesting they take a trip together––just the two of them.

Now, you may not identify with that type of coming out, but other people do. And to argue that “LoK didn’t make Korrasami explicit enough” undermines the experiences of those in the LGBTQ+ who heavily identified with Korra’s experiences and her coming out.

Holding LGBTQ+ media to this higher standard is inherently toxic. I would like to believe that these creators are coming from a good place with good intentions. There is nothing toxic or abusive in the way Korrasami is portrayed. There is nothing unrealistic about the way their relationship progressed throughout the series. It was not a fan service––it was the natural progression of the characters.

And let’s not forget that Korrasami is not only confirming a relationship between two women, but it is also two women of color. Now, it may not seem like a huge deal within the contexts of the Avatar World, but it is important to remember the context of where this show was airing.

There are things we can critique LoK on. It isn’t perfect. We can discuss the hiring of white voice actors (as a way to hold new media that is being created or will be created accountable, not as a way to just hate on LoK); we can discuss the voices within the writers room and the lack of diversity there. These are critiques that can be made of ATLA and LoK and countless of other media produced. This is a valid critique when used constructively. It is not meant to tear down an entire piece of media and everything that it has done for various communities, but rather to point to a flaw within the way media is being produced and the racist, sexist, and homophobic systems in place that determine what and how media is produced.

If we are to critique, we could look to reimagining how we create and consume media, not tearing down media that has already been produced and stands in a pivotal spot of the community. As Audre Lorde says:

For the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house.

If we are continually operating within the systems of oppression, we will never truly be able to dismantle them. Thus, to operate within the institutions of Nickelodeon, Netflix, Disney, etc. is to be beholden to the rules and constraints of a moderate, heteronormative, sexist, racist society. If creators stray too far from that line too quickly, there will be backlash. The perfect LGBTQ+ representation cannot exist while made within these institutions.

I would like to mention this statement is not to say that we cannot critique or boycott movies or shows that are performative in their diversity. There is no excuse for Hollywood after the successes of Black Panther (2018) and Crazy Rich Asians (2018) (and others) to not fill the crew and writers with the same representation being shown on the screen. We can, and should, hold production companies accountable––and given the internet, it is something we can do even early on in the production process.

I have gotten a little off track, but my point is, think about your critiques. Really ask yourself if it is a productive critique, or if it is critique that actually harms or is toxic to the community. Critiques are hard, I understand that. When we first start to think critically, it is easy to just jump on these “low hanging fruit” type critiques. It takes practice and comfortability learning and expanding your world view to construct a critique that looks at context from various point of views and experiences.

[spaceorphan18]

Kurt Hummel Solos Ranked

Ever since I finished the Kurt Hummel Meta Series - Finding Kurt Hummel - I’ve been wanting to talk about the music a bit.  Well, here we go.  I have four different categories -- Solos, Duets, Small Groups Numbers, and Large Group Numbers, and I’m starting off with Solos.  

Kurt didn’t have a ton of solos on the show, but that made them special when we did get one.  Kurt’s solos are usually integral to his story line, and usually hold a great deal of emotion one way or an other.  And while not all of them are 100% tied to his own plot - I think they all show bits and pieces of his character.  

As a note - there are a few songs on here that may not initially be counted as a solo, but I’m doing so anyway -- either there’s a studio version with just his voice, or the tiny bit of someone else singing I’m kind of ignoring.  For this discussion, I’m counting them as solos. 

There are two songs, however, that I should mention first -- two short solos that didn’t have a studio release -- 

1. Pink Houses (Laryngitis, 1x18)

I still find this number quite hilarious.  Kurt’s attempt at emulating his dad, and therefore singing John Mellencamp, to seem more ‘masculine’ is not only a great comedic spot, but shows us really what the opposite of who Kurt is.  While, clearly, not a great song for Kurt -- we do at least get to hear Chris’s low register for once, and get a rare moment when we get to see Chris be actually comedic during a musical number -- something that didn’t happen all that often because Kurt’s musical numbers were usually serious in nature and involves a lot of crying.  It’s not a great performance - but it’s a damn entertaining one. 

2. Music of the Night (Choke, 3x18)

Another non-studio release for what is an extended comedic moment.  Kurt’s right - his rendition of this is pretty bland, and you can tell he’s not putting forth his best effort.  There’s clearly no emotional connection to the song that is a hallmark of his songs, especially his solos.  That said - the scene itself is pretty entertainingly comedic -- from his ridiculous choreography, to Tina’s bored version of Christine, to the massive amount of candles on stage.  The scene is a lot of fun - even if it’s not meant to be a serious performance. 

So, with those out of the way.... 

Kurt Hummel’s Solos Ranked: 

I should preface this with, these are, obviously, my own objective opinion.  While I am taking into account performances and effectiveness of the song, at the end of the day, these are my own opinions, and everyone will have their own version of the list.  

17. I’ll Remember (Goodbye, 3x22)

I don’t think that there are any bad Kurt solos.  There are ones that I don’t think work all that well, and this is one of them.  First off is the fact that I’m not a big fan of the song, originally done by Madonna.  While the song does fit the moment lyrically, and I do buy Kurt singing it, the song itself isn’t that great.  The performance is fine. Despite all the tears and wistful looks, it’s a bit standard of a performance that doesn’t lend itself to being all that memorable.  Also, there’s the fact that this song is dedicated to all the men in the room.  Ug, Glee your plot points suck sometimes. 

16. Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina (Special Education, 2x09)

This is the first of a few songs on the list that are technically sung by two people, but this has a Kurt-only studio version, so it’s here as a solo.  Kurt does relatively well vocally with this song.  But it’s clear that it’s not his song at all.  This is a Rachel song, which is made clearer as they sing it side by side as a comparison.  While Kurt sings it technically and proficiently fine, he doesn’t embody the song the way Rachel does in the scene.  (And that’s fine - the point is that it doesn’t fit him correctly.)  Kurt is a little stiff and uncomfortable with this song, with a sense of emotion that doesn’t quite connect.  And while fine for the scene that they’re doing - it lands this one low on my list. 

15. I’m Still Here (Bash, 5x15)

This is Kurt’s last solo of the series, and, unfortunately, the only representative of season 5 (and 6), which is why it really pains me to put it so low on the list, but, also unfortunately, there are a lot of issues with it.  First of all, at this point in the series, while old Diva Broadway numbers were his bread and butter - he had been growing past them, and while the song choice works for the story (mostly), the selection feels a little tired.  Vocally, he’s proficient enough, though it lacks some of the grittiness and understanding of, say, an actual old school Broadway Diva.  (I can see Rachel Berry singing this when she’s 80 a la Elaine Stritch.)  The choreography is a little weird at times - but they did let Chris do the choreography of this one nearly by himself, and it shows a little.  

One weird nitpick I have about this number is actually a production thing -- it’s clear that in the close ups Chris is doing better acting and giving more of an effort than he’s doing in the wide shots.  It’s a weird thing to notice but between that and the tepid performance in general, it brings this one way down on the list for me. 

14. Some People (Funeral, 2x21)

This one is a huge step above the others on the list, as the rest of this list is really a bunch of fantastic performances.  Chris really brings it in this one (and fun fact, he helped do the choreography on this one), as Kurt’s energy is high and all of his moves here are quintessential Kurt classics.  It’s like all of standard Kurt Hummel in one song, especially since it’s a classic old diva Broadway standard.  While I don’t have any complaints about the performance, the reason it’s so low is for two reasons.  The first one is the context -- it’s for an audition for a solo and not directly connected to any meaningful Kurt storyline.  And secondly - it’s just not a favorite song of mine.  But, Kurt at least gets to have a peppy and physically entertaining solo, which doesn’t happen very often, so it is worth a watch. 

13. You Are The Sunshine of My Life

Honestly, the only reason this as low as it is, is because I’m not a huge fan of this song.  There’s actually a lot of great things going on here.  For one, this is a really sweet performance for Kurt as he sings a sentimental song for his dad.  The choreography is silly, but it’s intentionally childlike as little Kurt came up with this with his dad.  Kurt sounds really good when he’s in his lower register (I actually love his lower register - which isn’t complimented enough).  And one thing I really like from second half of the series Kurt is that he’s less choreographed Broadway style and more reflective of the quirky weirdo that he is.  And this performance is exactly that. 

12. A House is Not a Home (Home, 1x16)

This is an interesting one, because there are a lot of great things going on here that bring it up the list, but a few things that very much drag it down.  First of all -- it’s the first showcase in the show of something I don’t see Chris get much credit for (outside the fandom bubble).  The fact that he’s able to act while sing.  It’s a difficult thing that Chris does masterfully here -- it’s not easy to make a solo next to a piano visually enticing but he really sells it.  Anyway - the way Kurt’s emotion bleeds through the song is perfect, it’s not too overt or too subdued.  And we really feel everything Kurt is feeling in this moment.  It feels real, in a way that isn’t apparent in a lot of the other characters when they sing songs (coughrachelcough).  This song is a fantastic reflection of Kurt’s emotional stance, and fits into the story wonderfully. 

Bringing it down... first of all, technically, Finn sings a verse of this.  And while I don’t consider this at all a duet (duets, I feel, are sung together), it’s still there, and still a glaring ear-sore.  (Sorry Cory.)  It sticks out like a sore thumb that Finn’s voice is not suited for this material, and while I see what they were doing with the story, it’s cringey when it gets there.  The other thing about this song is that it’s kind of uncomfortable to watch.  Kurt sells all of his emotion, but it’s focus point is an unrequited love, and the discomfort on Finn’s face, as well as a few others, makes it not an easy watch.  Still -- overall, this is a great number and a fantastic performance. 

11. I’m The Greatest Star (I Am Unicorn, 3x02)

This is kind of an interesting one to talk about because there are a lot of conflicting things going on.  It’s one helluva performance, it’s a terrible interpretation of the song, and it’s not a great choice of audition song for West Side Story (all of which was the point), but that doesn’t mean I don’t agree with Coach Beiste, that Kurt made the song his prison bitch.  If nothing else -- this really showcases just how talented Kurt is -- not only can he act while he’s singing, he has other talents as well, such as climbing scaffolding and using sai swords.  The comedic/tragic element of this song, for me, is the fact that Kurt’s trying to show off everything he’s able to do in one song -- and in effect, while being an incredible spectacle, kind of backfires for him.  (If he had done this one for his NYADA audition - I would have bought Carmen Tibideaux’s remarks.) I think this is often an underrated Kurt solo due to the high level of proficiency that’s needed to pull this off -- but it’s also not the best Kurt has to offer.

10. Bring Him Home (Diva, 4x13)

This is another one of those Kurt/Rachel comparison numbers that I count as a solo because there’s Kurt-only studio version and because it’s not really sung together but side by side.  What I really love about this number is that subtle delicacy that Kurt brings to the number.  It’s sung with a restrained emotion that’s perfect for the number that is a pleasure to listen to when compared to the over-emoting mess that Rachel is doing next to it.  The other fascinating thing I’m learning, as I do this list, is that there’s a sense of maturity about Kurt’s voice that I’m finding in the later seasons - which is really neat to listen for. My only real reason it’s as low on the list as it is - is because there’s the song holds no real weight for Kurt’s story.  I kind of wish the Midnight Madness song had not been the popular number of the year thanks to Les Mis, but something more meaningful to their friendship - but ah well, for Kurt, it’s still masterfully done. 

9. Le Jazz Hot (Duets, 2x04)

This is a fun number that really showcases Kurt’s talents and ability.  I really love the moment at the end when he sings his entire range.  Like I’m The Greatest Star and Some People, it’s a showoff number, but I think more so than those other two, Kurt really brings it extra in this one as the choreography and costume additions are incredibly inspired.  It’s not his greatest vocal solo, or the most meaningful, which is why it’s a little lower on the list, but it’s quite entertaining to see Kurt push in so much on himself, especially when forced to do so by the story, and thus makes it a memorable solo. 

8. I Want to Hold Your Hand (Grilled Cheesus, 2x03)

I believe with this one we’re getting into the iconic Kurt-solo territory.  The show already knew that Chris was a great pretty crier, and that was used to great affect in this entire episode.  The one really great thing that Kurt (and Chris in his acting) does is not over emote.  He sings songs with great emotion, but it’s usually controlled and right under the surface, making it incredible compelling.  (By contrast - Rachel is always over-emoting, and always giving the same kind of over emoting that feels bland the more you see it.)  The fascinating thing is that Kurt draws you into his world and his pain with song, and while he’s not doing much but standing there, he is letting you get a glimpse of what is behind the guarded shield he uses so much.  This is why Kurt solos are special, because they’re rare, and a rare glimpse of what’s going on in a character who blocks himself off so much from the outside world -- especially in the early years.  While I just happen to like the other solos on the list more, I believe this is one of the best performances on the show. 

7. Defying Gravity (Wheels, 1x09)

So.  This is the last of the side-by-side comparisons that I have on the solo list.  And I want to start by saying that vocally, even minus the intentionally botched note, it’s not very good.  Honestly - go listen to the season 5 version, and you hear how much better a vocalist Chris became, and it’s really a treat to hear him grow into his voice.  And I do think Rachel won this competition.  However...  there is something magical about this performance.  First of all, the song is deeply resonant for Kurt (and for Chris) and that comes through clearly in the song.  He embodies the emotion of the song in a way that Rachel (and I’ll argue Lea) doesn’t.  The lyrics are meaningful, and are acted out superbly.  And on top of that is a layer where Kurt is debating with himself as to whether or not he’s going to throw the song.  The vocals might not be there, but the acting is, and the emotion is, and on that alone brings this song so high on the list.  This is a character defining song if there ever was one.  

6. Blackbird (Original Song, 2x16)

Do yourself a favor - go on Netflix and watch this one, the youtube version cuts off Kurt’s head, which really is a disservice to the song and the performance, but it’s the only link I could find. 

First of all, I’m biased, because I really love this song.  Kurt sings it beautifully, too, which helps.  But really -- I think it’s an incredible story element on multiple levels.  Kurt’s singing a eulogy for a dead bird, which is bizarre when written out.  But this moment is perfect.  It’s a moment where Kurt’s restrained emotion is channeled beautifully through song, and we see, again, an element of Kurt himself, who has been caged throughout the whole Dalton arc.  So, it’s not only about the death of Pavarotti, but about the death of Kurt trying to be something he’s not - and the freedom that comes with allowing yourself to be you.  

On top of that, it’s a pivotal moment in the Klaine story, where Blaine finally gets to see the raw emotion of who Kurt is, and realizes he’s in love with him.  The fact that this song is so multilayered on top of a great and beautiful performance is really what makes it one of my favorites.  

5. I Have Nothing (Dance With Somebody, 3x17)

This might be the most controversial choice on this list, but I’ll stand by it because it is one of my favorites.  Yes, Kurt is straining to get to some of those high notes, vocally it’s a bit raw and forced.  But my god, it’s one of the most stunning displays of emotion that he ever gets to do.  Not only is this song about him, and the type of person he is, it’s also about love, and how Kurt expresses love.  

Like so many of his best performances, there are a lot of layers going on here.  Not only does it have the emotional intensity that A House is Not a Home did, but it has a razor sharp, singular focus that the other song lacks.  Kurt is expressing himself, the best way that he can, to communicate to Blaine -- and the two of them have an unspoken dialogue during the song, which is really incredible.  (The acting chops for both Chris and Darren here are really remarkable.)  It is the most romantic performance on the list, and one of my favorite moments on the show. 

4. The Boy Next Door (Choke, 3x18)

Believe it or not, this is one time I’d actually recommend the studio recording over the show performance.  Despite lacking the Gold Lame Pants of Infamy, the studio version really showcases just how amazing this performance is.  But anyway - unlike Carmen Tibideaux, who clearly doesn’t know our Kurt Hummel, there is nothing surface level about this performance.  And unlike I’m The Greatest Star - this isn’t Kurt trying to shove everything he can do into one performance, it’s showcasing who he is as a person and a performer.  Vocally, it’s fantastic, and I’m glad the later seasons allow Kurt to do more songs settled in lower registers - as that part of his vocal range is really quite beautiful.  Visually, this is Kurt emulating a bit of Hugh Jackman while retaining some of his own, unique elements.  This performance is truly special because it’s a time when Kurt realizes that it’s okay for him to be himself, and lets that shine through song. 

3. Rose’s Turn (Laryngitis, 1x18)

Kurt’s first real big solo in the show, and it’s absolutely stunning.  The fascinating thing about this one is, again, just how much is going on here.  Kurt slowly gets to unravel, shaking off the expectations that he thinks society is putting on him, and blossoming into who he really is.  This song is perfect for him as a character in this moment.  While the vocals are a little shaky at times (I’m noticing that a lot about season 1 Kurt) the performance is not.  We never really get to see Kurt be angry and gritty through song again, but I’m glad we do have this moment to show how it would go.  I love everything this number chooses to be, and everything that it says about Kurt, which is why I feel it’s one of his best numbers. 

2. Being Alive (Swan Song, 4x09)

There is something kind of magical about this song.  And this is the reason that I find it tragic we don’t get an emotionally powerful song from Kurt after this point.  (Though - after this point, we don’t get a long going individual Kurt arc either, so I suppose it makes sense.)  But here’s the thing about this song... It is Kurt going inside himself, and reflecting on all the pain and heartache that his life has given him, and all the struggles he’s had in the change from child to adult, and almost unknowingly, as the song continues on, getting lost on that emotion as he reflects.  It’s very hard for, I believe, for a musical number such as this to work on TV -- that relies on more action and visuals than other mediums.  But as I’ve stated in all of these other entries -- Kurt (and Chris, really) is the master of reflecting all these different, conflicting emotions on his face, and making it visually compelling, even if it’s one person in a room, and nothing else going on.  The emotion, the complexity, the story is all there in a performance much more mature than anything that had come before it.  This is really one of the most beautiful and richly developed performances on the show, and truly one of the best that Kurt has to offer. 

1. As If We Never Said Goodbye (Born This Way, 2x18)

I debated for a while which would take the top spot, and what I kept coming back around to was that while Being Alive is the most technically proficient, and deeply profound of Kurt’s solos... As If We Never Said Goodbye is the epitome Kurt’s character and story all wrapped up in one.  It is his most iconic solo, and for a reason.  It’s all of the emotion, vulnerability, and deeply layered story telling we get so often from Kurt Solos.  It perfectly describes the journey this character has been on and where it’s going, as well as just being a fantastic performative piece.  It’s helped by the fact that the show allows the whole five minute song to be sung, where we get to follow Kurt as he moves from one stage of his life to the next, again another song about coming out of his shell to reveal his true identity and what is buried in his heart.  This song is why I love the character, and why I love his story.  The fact that it’s subtle and refined, but having so many layers if you’re willing to look.  It’s beautiful and imperfectly perfect, just like Kurt Hummel.  

[kaylorrehabcenter]

A Very Self Indulgent Analysis of the 1 from ~a Kaylor Perspective~

Is the 1 about Karlie Kloss? Probably not. It’s probably a song about wishing Taylor and Harry could’ve been more than beards, who am I to say? But I will write you this post about Kaylor and this song because I was listening to it last night and it made me sad. (And I’m avoiding being actually productive besides)

That being said. This analysis isn’t the word of god, I’m not Taylor nor do I have access to her brain. Every interpretation is equally valid but I will roll my eyes at you if you say this is about Taylor au-ing if her and Karlie broke up I will roll my eyes at you. I also don’t take this song 100% literally. Few if any people Taylor’s been with can just “meet some woman on the internet and take them home”, so whether or not Karlie can or would do that with a husband and a baby due soon is a moot point to me.

The fact Aaron Dessner also said it was from another friend’s perspective also does not impede my analysis. We know Taylor is in a happy committed relationship with Joe, most people would side eye their relationship if she said with her whole chest she wrote this from her perspective.

That all being said, in the words of one Philip DeFranco, let’s jump right into it.

“I hit the ground running each night/I hit the Sunday matinée/You know the greatest films of all time were never made”

I see the first line as a bit of a double meaning. She’s demonstrating how moved on she is a la the first line in the song, while also describing the relationship she moved on from “the one” with, it happening to her rather quickly. In this context “hitting the Sunday matinee” could be a metaphor for our actor boy Joe.

“You know the greatest films of all time were never made”

This is my favorite line in this motif. Taylor never got to tell any of her stories about her relationships with women. Not plainly and explicitly anyway. Not only did their coastal town they wandered round never see their love (whether because of hiding or having to tip toe around Josh), even if Taylor comes out tomorrow she’ll never be able to acknowledge these relationships the same way she can with men, and I’m not crying about this I’m definitely not.

“I guess you never know, never know/And if you wanted me, you really should've showed/And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow/And it's alright now”

Karlie chose Josh, thus is the fundamental truth of Kaylor. Taylor was the other woman, longing to be remembered and to be “more than a footnote in the story of your life”. If Karlie wanted Taylor, as a friend, girlfriend, whatever, Taylor is saying she should’ve acted like it. Though Taylor has grown from the experience, and time has passed, she still catches herself dwelling on these memories, the good times if you will a la my gold rush and happiness analysis.

“But we were something, don't you think so?/Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool/And if my wishes came true/It would've been you”

To me, the first line of the chorus here feels like Taylor, even though years have passed, to try and acknowledge they were something, if not girlfriends, at least a relationship with meaning. Roaring twenties could also be a 1989 era reference, and Taylor acknowledging that at one point, being with Karlie in an actual relationship, not an other woman scenario, was her wish.

“We never painted by the numbers, baby/But we were making it count/You know the greatest loves of all time are over now”

One day I will write a post about every time Taylor mentions counting, you see this a lot in Karlie songs (You did a number on me, but honestly baby who's counting?) or rather, ones I think are Karlie songs.

I also interpret not painting by the numbers as a reference to Tay and Kar never having a traditional relationship, and the following line being another dig at Karlie that they did have a relationship and it meant something, whatever Karlie has to tell herself to sleep at night. Still, even if they were in love, it’s all over now.

“I, I, I persist and resist the temptation to ask you/If one thing had been different/Would everything be different today?”

If Josh wasn’t there, if Karlie had been more available in xyz capacity, if the master heist hadn’t happened, would they still be together? Would they still be friends even? Does she even want that anymore? There’s a wistfulness here for the imagined possibilities. You can know something ended for a reason, and you’re happy now, and you’re better off without them anyway, and still wonder if there’s an au out there where everything fell into place and you ended up together.

“In my defense I have none/for digging up the grave another time/but it would’ve been fun/if you would’ve been the one”

[bananaofswifts]

Taylor Swift forges her own path on the confident Folklore

Folklore mostly abandons Lover's festival-sized splendor for songs that reveal more facets with repeated listens.

The summer of 2020 was going to be a grand one for Taylor Swift — her original plans involved celebrating 2019's Lover at festivals around the world, including England's legendary Glastonbury Festival, and throwing multi-day, multi-artist affairs in Massachusetts and California. But the COVID-19 pandemic, and its attendant lockdowns, led to all those plans being postponed, if not canceled outright.

Some people used the time that opened up because of quarantine to try something new — writing a thousand words a day, fixing nagging household issues, turning elaborate baking projects into the core of a cookbook. Swift took on the challenge as well: "Surprise 🤗," she posted on social media Thursday morning. "Tonight at midnight I’ll be releasing my 8th studio album, folklore; an entire brand new album of songs I’ve poured all of my whims, dreams, fears, and musings into." The attached images were stark, and in a muted palette far from the pastels that colored the Lover era: in one image, Swift stood alone in a misty forest, while in the other, serif text offered more details on the album's genesis and personnel.

If the era spanning 1989 through Lover was, as Swift said during her announcement of that 2014 album, characterized by her releasing "documented, official pop album[s]," Folklore represents a shift — not fully out of pop, but perhaps adjacent to it. Not only is it lacking the splashy lead single and lengthy rollout of her previous albums, it also finds Swift experimenting with different ideas — or, as she puts it on the simmering yet wistful opener "The 1," "I'm doin' good, I'm on some new s–t/ been sayin' yes instead of no."

Swift explodes the expectations of anyone preparing to call her music "diaristic," writing songs from different perspectives while putting her already-detailed work under a microscope. It's reflective of how time spent alone can force one not only to look inward, but to get so tired of doing so that they're forced to find other stories so they can stay amused. Swift's exploration of others' inner worlds — the exhausted front-liners of the spectral "Epiphany," the truth-teller surveying the scorched earth on "Mad Woman," the love-tangled teenagers populating the triptych of "Cardigan," "August, and "Betty" — allows her to take on new voices.

Folklore mostly abandons Lover's festival-sized splendor for songs that reveal more facets with repeated listens. Swift wrote and recorded her parts for Folklore in Los Angeles, while others, led by longtime collaborator Jack Antonoff and Aaron Dessner of the art-rock outfit the National, worked on their contributions, which included songwriting, production, and instrumentation, at their own studios.

People tend to overstate the importance of collaborators when they talk about Swift's music, even though every song she performs contains certain aspects — vocal lines, melodic shifts, bridge structures — that are undeniably hers. But Dessner's brother — and co-member of the National — Bryce, who also has an extensive resume as a composer, supplied orchestrations, and his canny arrangements give a crackling energy to Swift's Nashville-honed, chart-polished songwriting.

Take "Seven," the midpoint of the album, which reflects on a troubled young friend. Swift's voice on the chorus has a roundness to it that makes its plea to recall childhood ferocity even more pungent; strings lurk around the piano-forward arrangement's edges before coming to the fore near its close, their eventual blurring adding a poignancy to the lyrics' dreams of escape. The confident amble of "Cardigan" — the slightly embittered lyrics of which pay off at the album's end, with the twangily contrite "Betty" — has its façade disturbed by the distorted strings at its close. The story of "Mad Woman," meanwhile, is given extra hell-borne dread by swirling vocals that threaten to take over the piano line acting as its anchor.

Swift is still very much a pop star — even a split-second glance at social media could tell you that — but Folklore, instead of going along with what's topping the Hot 100, uses "pop" as a way to introduce deeper, knottier characters. On the surface, "Mirrorball" recalls a gauze-wrapped last-dance song, but its lyrics belie a fragmented, outwardly defined sense of self that yearns for balance. "This is Me Trying" cloaks Swift's narrator's taking stock in where her life is — "I got wasted like all my potential," she notes in one particularly lacerating line — in reverb and billowy guitars. "Exile," a duet with Bon Iver, aches as it expands and contracts, with Justin Vernon's low croon and Swift's velvet-lined alto engaging in a cold war that crests on the song's bridge, the two echoing accusations at one another yet unable to disengage. It's not all a downer: "Invisible String" is all hushed delight at finding connection with another, Swift detailing the healed wounds and gentle pleasures that pave the way to growth and happiness. But it's very in tune with the reflection that comes with sitting in even the most well-outfitted homes.

‘’Before this year I probably would've overthought when to release this music at the 'perfect' time," Swift wrote in the announcement announcing Folklore, "but the times we're living in keep reminding me that nothing is guaranteed." The maturity and confidence of that statement are reflected in Folklore, a content smile of an album on which one of the world's biggest pop stars, charts be damned, forges her own path and dares listeners to come along for the ride.

A

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

My honest assessment of every version of MDZS now that I have consumed at least part of all of them, best and worst aspects of each.

The Untamed/CQL, the first version I encountered:

The best part of this show is literally every single moment that wwx and lwj are onscreen together. Every time they gaze into each other’s eyes I am reminded that love is in fact real. The last 20 episodes are just Wangxian on main and I love every moment of the Cloud Recesses part of the flashback. I would absolutely die for Wang Yibo and his absolutely stellar micro expressions.

I love this gem of a show. However, I can also acknowledge it is occasionally prone to corniness and the effects budget was I’m assuming quite low and thus some visual elements are deeply amusing. It’s part of the charm though and not that big a deal. Also it did have to have some aspects of the original story heavily censored, which is sad. But like, tbh, the production team still made it an explicit romance and it doesn’t Feel censored at all. Honestly the romance is that good. Episodes 42-46 in particular are just 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

Also full honesty I fast forwarded through quite a few villain scenes during the flashback cause they were kind of dragging and I wanted to get back to my boys and then I kept being like ‘who the heck is this’ when the villain stuff I fast forwarded turned out to be like actuallly important later.

The original version from the pen of MXTX herself, the book in fantranslation which I read immediately after finishing CQL:

Wow. Wow. The jump from watching the end of CQL and their wistful parting and stuff and then opening the book and seeing there’s a chapter titled wangxian and obviously reading that one first before going back to the beginning and finding out that instead of parting wistfully at the end they fuck off the side of the road and then elope. Amazing. Incredible. The 20 post canon fluffy (and kinky wow very kinky did not expect that but really quite pleased) one shots. Absolutely incredible thank you MA’AM.

The one downside: Please for the love of god why do so many of these anal sex scenes have to feature a lack of lubrication and proper preparation like I can be down with the noncon kink stuff but Dear God please include some lube and a smidge of fingering in there somewhere.

The manhua, of which I only read the most recent 30 or so chapters as of a couple months ago:

GREAT from what I read so far including the fact that it included an uncensored kiss from the book! Didn’t include Phoenix Mountain but did include LWJ getting drunk and tying WWX up with his forehead ribbon, bless up.

The only downside as far as I can tell is that it’s not finished.

The donghua, which I started a month ago and only watched two episodes but then started again today and watched basically the whole thing.

This opinion may be unpopular but this is the best adaptation by far, objectively. Being adapated in animation allows the fights and the magic to be just Incredible. It’s so well paced, better than Untamed, and manages to be quite close to the book while still cutting out and changing a few things. Actually made me cry about the destruction of Lotus Pier and made me sad about Yu ZiYuan.

And the clincher, Wei Wuxian is at his Most Badass. I cannot overemphasize how fucking hyped I was when he appeared amidst a flock of crows on top of a roof to kick Wen Chao’s ass. The fight scenes where wwx and lwj are working together are sooooooooo goooooooooood.

The downsides are yes that it does censor and skim over some of the wangxian content. But here’s the thing. They’re still 100% in love and some lines that I definitely didn’t expect to make it through censorship from the book are included so here’s hoping for some good shit in season 3.

Oh yeah that’s the other downside. It’s not finished, the final season isn’t scheduled till 2021 (but also corona so like who knows what that’s gonna do to production). S2 ends at the beginning of Yi City.

And last but Certainly not least, the audio drama:

Which I have tragically only experienced the clips of that are on YouTube cause I tried to download the fansubs and couldn’t get them to work on my old ass Mac idk what I did wrong rip.

But the parts that are on YouTube. Oh man. Oh man. The Guanyin temple confession scene? Jesus Christ I swear to god I have watched the clips of it on youtube at least ten times I Am Full Of Emotions Dear Universe Please Let Me Have The Rest Of The Audio Drama It’s All I Want. One day I shall prevail over my technological impasse and being that well fed with ship content I shall assume my final form, one of infinite power, fueled only by sheer fannish glee

5 stars

[wiststudies]

day 11 / 100 of productivity

3 / october / 2024

☆ went on a walk

☆ studied for my biology test

☆ drank 3 liters of water

☆ studied with my friends.

[joi-in-the-tardis]

I went in to work yesterday pretty stressed out.  I mean, optimistic, but also aware that I had a lot to do.  My supervisor scheduled me no help the two days after our corporate store walk which meant I watched all of my product go out of date, and there really wasn’t much I could do about it- I can’t bag up my bread while also baking cookies.  Those are mutually exclusive activities.

Understand, my method of baking (how I was trained) is to be a half day ahead.  So, if something is getting marked down tomorrow, I bake it today.  That way there’s a smooth transition tomorrow.  Pull something, immediately replace it.  I’m not always on this 100% (unbelievably, sometimes people just... buy things, like it’s a store or something!), but it’s my aim: to never have a hole on the tables.  I got even more rigid about this when they decided to have set times for the tables that I absolutely could not meet.  So, it became essential to have backstock to fill those spaces until I had fresh product.  (As a side note: this is probably the biggest difference between my bake and my supervisor’s... She wants to bake as little as possible and only what will sell today, so after her bake days I come in to empty tables and panic; it takes me two days to get them back the way I had them.)

Anyway, I had my Christmas playlist in my ear but that wasn’t helping.  So, I pulled out the big guns and put on Frank Sinatra.  There’s something about that voice...

Well, and then he started singing Someone To Watch Over Me and the wiiiiiiiiist, y’all.  I think I repeated it six or seven times.  I like other artist’s versions just fine, too, but Sinatra’s my favorite.

And it worked.  I know it’s possible to be stressed and wistful at the same time (I’ve done it lol) but it’s difficult.

Also, I accomplished everything I needed to get done yesterday. :D  Thanks, Frankie.

[luci-cunt]

Hi, welcome to my open worm can, here’s me not being able to shut up Cureless and Cynical version @sargent-major-jane​ whyyyyyyy do youuuu doooo thiisss too meee aksdjfl;askdj XDD <33

Ok so first of all, here’s the cast: Izyc, a demon; Walter, a vampire; Lou a werewolf 6 year old

The story starts out with Walter summoning a demon (who happens to be Izyc) because he wants to bring his friend (Caine) back from the dead. Walt’s at this point basically a dumbass rich fratboy and him and Caine had this pretty not great friendship that was super co-dependant and toxic because Caine is not a good person. Anyways, Caine ends up dying, but the circumstances seem fishy because no one will talk to Walter about it so he gets the fantastic idea to bring Caine back from the dead. 

Izyc’s a little ass tho and he’s like “how do you want him?” and so Walter orders one supersized friend resurrection. 

“Alright,” Izyc said, cracking his knuckles and standing up, “which one is he?”

Walter pointed to Caine’s grave and Izyc walked over to stand in front of it. He scanned the grave stone, it was made of lacquered wood, with Caine’s name burned into it. “A wonderful son and friend with an honest soul, he will be missed.”

“Must be nice to have one of these,” Izyc remarked, more joking than wistful, “I think my parents buried me in a Payless box in the backyard.”

“Sorry,” Walter said, not sure what to say. 

Izyc just shrugged, “them’s the apples,” he said, which didn’t make sense to Walter but Izyc was moving on.

There’s just one problem with this whole thing, and that’s the fact that Caine does NOT want to be alive. The reason no one told Walter about Caine’s death in detail was because Caine killed himself, and now he’s back as a nearly unkillable monster. 

So Caine mauls the hell out of Walter’s arm and turns HIM into a vampire. 

Some details about vampires in this world: they’re nearly unkillable. The only thing that can kill them is another vampire. The sunlight thing is a myth, Walt is allergic to garlic tho. Also he’s got fangs, and has better senses. Oh and there’s a wrinkle: the vampiric disease can be transfered thru bodily fluids--I promise this will be important later XDD

Anywhoo--Walt’s a vampire now and he’s grouchy and grumpy about it. he goes all emo and the story flashes forward 7ish years to him sulking in a bar even though he can’t get drunk he just LiKeS tHe BuRn. 

this is where we find out Izyc has stuck around, and that him and Walter hunt monsters. Also that Izyc really likes his pair of jeans. 

Izyc cried out as he hit the ground, scrambling to hold onto something as the gnome dragged him down into the tunnels. His arms hit the sides of the tunnel and stopped him and he cursed. 

Walter was on him in a second, grabbing him by the coat as Izyc held onto his arms and pulled against the gnome. 

“Fucking– catch– fire!” Walter yelled, straining to pull Izyc out of the hole. 

“I like these jeans!” Izyc yelled back, “Ow! Shit!” he yelped, probably as the thing’s claws started digging in. 

Oh also: since Izyc is a demon he’s got some magic powers, most namely: the ability to set himself on fire, the ability to conjure anything in the world as long as he makes a deal, and an immunity to vampire sicknesss. 

Also also: these are gnomes in this universe (description courtesy of Izyc’s bestiology)

Surprisingly large, looks a bit like if a mole and a man decided to shit on god’s face by fucking. Claws for hands and pointy faces with milky eyes covered by big, bushy eyebrows. Does not wear clothing, which is a sight, and known for dragging unsuspecting women into their dens during mating seasons. The species is exclusively male and very reclusive/ meek. Will not inhabit anywhere within a mile of another gnome.

So.... moving on.... Izyc and Walt have an odd relationship, they travel around the US living out of hotels (specifically one that’s run by a man eating ghoul named Klancy who may or may not be 100 years old). 

Some details to know about demons: most of them were desperate people who sold their souls to other demons for something in their life. Then when they die they get stuck in this limbo and are basically hellish office workers. People can summon Izyc, but the only ritual most know just pokes at him and he can ignore it. It’s actually how him and Walt get jobs, someone summon’s Izyc and gives him details and then Walt and him zip on over. 

So Izyc’s got nothing better to do and Walt was his first ever deal so sue him, he’s lonely, he just kinda sticks with Walt. After a couple of years tho they start fucking, and both claim it’s for convenience sake--mostly Walt tho, cuz he can’t have sex with anyone who isn’t a vampire unless he wants to make them a vampire and -- yeah anyways.

Izyc catches feelings though, and he tries to pipe up about it, but then Lou crashes into the story. 

Some details to know about werewolves: they don’t only transform under the full moon, but that is a sacred time for them. They’re very ostracized by the world, forced to live in tiny communities and keep to themselves because they’re “dangerous.” 

One day, a vampire comes through and murders Lou’s entire pack

and the two other packs living in the town with them. 

Lou is the only survivor, and she’s friends with a woman named Luca who mentions a bitchy-but-nice vampire named Walter. 

And so Lou’s grieving 6 y/o brain goes “only a vampire can kill another vampire, this is perfect” and tracks Walt down and twists his heart strings until he agrees to at least check the scene out. 

Details about Luca: she’s Walter’s ex-boyfriend’s step-sister and she’s also half banshee. She’s also also one of Walter’s only friends. 

Some details about banshee’s: contrary to popular belief they aren’t omens of death, rather just really fucked up people. They’re usually the product of a hateful birth and feel emotion so strongly they’ll only be able to feel one single emotion in their lives. Usually people’s first emotions when their born is fear, and thus--screaming banshee’s. However, if you’re only part banshee you feel other emotions but they’re still super strong, so Luca’s basically cracked out bipolar. She takes meds that help but if she doesn’t take them it gets BAD.

Anyways, Walter goes to the crime scene, it goes a little like this: 

It started as splatters, dried and dirty looking on the ground. Then it got thicker, darker, and more concentrated. The walls of surrounding buildings were painted with it, and the street looked like it had been bathed in it. At the end of the street, however, was a schoolhouse, which seemed to be the source of all of it. 

Walter’s shiver had nothing to do with the cold. 

“Hey!” a voice called suddenly, stirring Walter out of where he’d been standing, staring at the school. It wasn’t very large, just a long, single story building that had a lot of windows and big doors. Above them were rusting metal letters spelling ‘SMITH CREEK ELEMENTARY.’ Most of the windows were broken and the doors had been torn off their hinges. The lawn in front of the school – which had probably been grass before – was now torn up and muddied from countless claws scrambling and tearing it up. 

“Hey!” The voice called again, this time closer, “you can’t be here.”

Walter turned to find a man walking up to him. He was wearing an officer’s uniform and his face was scrunched up in annoyance behind a big paper mask that covered his mouth and nose. Walter could smell lavender on it. The officer was also quite a bit shorter than Walter, and he had blond hair and crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at Walter. 

“I’m on business,” Walter said, “a consultant,” he lied. 

The officer gave him a shrewd look, “we didn’t hear anything about you coming up,” he said. 

Walter sighed, “it’s not my fault your department is useless.” The man’s face twitched. “I’m going back to work now, unless you want me to bother my superior and admit you messed up,” Walter said, brushing past the bristling man. 

“What kind of consultant are you supposed to be?” he asked, jogging a bit to catch up to Walter as he picked his way up to the school. There was a shallow set of stairs leading to the doors. The stairs were dark with blood and Walter almost expected them to be tacky. It had been days though, and they were dried by now. 

“Vampiric expert,” Walter said. 

“What are your credentials?” 

Walter turned and flashed his fangs. All the blood drained from the mans face and he took a few quick steps back. Walter didn’t stop walking, just tore through the caution tape blocking the doorway and went inside.

We find out later on that this is actually Caine’s doing, and Caine goes on a bit of the murder spree, which is what the book devolves into. Before it was some cases, a bunch of undocumented kishi (people with hyena faces on the backs of their heads) run into a wyvern problem that turns into a monster smuggling scandal. Izyc pisses off pirates which results in them kidnapping him to try and make Walt murder a bunch of mermaids, which just leads to the mermaids and Walt eating all the pirates. They meet another vampire named Marissa who happens to also be a warlock and zips them into a pocket dimension that’s like a 1950′s nuclear family where Izyc goes crazy, manages to escape, and then has to get into Walt’s pocket dimension and kill his alternate self.

yknow, the usual. 

This is so fucking long I’m so sorry if you managed to get all the way down here I owe you my whole soul aksjdf;lakjsdf;lkajsdf here’s some snippets: 

[triptychexe]

TITLE: 100 Hours

SUMMARY: The TROMME boys have exactly 100 hours to make their own self-directed b-side music video. Eli finds some old videos that strike up old feelings.

GENRE: nostalgia, very very subtle hurt/comfort if you squint. PAIRING: TROMME OT3, subtle OT6, mentions of Eli x Soyeon WORD COUNT: 0.8k WARNINGS: one joke about a creepy uncle who hits on younger women. other than that there may be some swearing? please let me know if you see anything else that might be triggering/worth warning. 

WINTER 2015

Eli counted his paces to the number five before turning around, giving the camera what was meant to be a cool and confident gaze. 

“Ew.” Asa commented from behind Teo, who was squatting on the sidewalk with the camera in his hands, the focus trained on Eli. Eli slumped his posture a little. “What’s ‘ew’?” 

“You looked at Teo like how my divorced uncle looks at nineteen year olds at bars.” Asahiko shared, shaking his head.

“Now that’s ‘ew’.” Eli wrinkled up his nose in distaste, but a laugh bubbled up in his chest at the crude joke.

“We’ll be cutting that part out.” Their manager, Hyunjung, stated to the professional camera man. Around the three boys was a small production crew, shooting footage for an episode of their reality VLive show, Triptych TV. They were given 100 hours by the company to make a music video for their b-side song, POLAROID. They were shooting solo shots now while the sun went down, as Teo decided that golden hour would look great in their video.

Teo pulled himself up to full height, replaying the footage that he just recorded. The other two gathered around, observing the shot. Eli didn’t think it was so bad, but Teo deleted it the moment it was finished.

“Yeah, Asa’s right. That was a little too seductive.” Teo critiqued. “I’m looking for more like… Wistful and reflective energy.” “Like… Like I’m in a drama?” Eli clarified. “Exactly. I want you to look effortlessly cool and sentimental.” Teo explained with excitement in his tone. Eli nodded, fighting back his own complaints. He wasn’t as excited about filming this video as Teo was, but he didn’t want to rain on his friend’s parade. There are very few things that Teo talks about non-sarcastically, and photography and videography were two of those things. In fact, if it was up to Eli, they wouldn’t be shooting their own music video at all.

While Teo was shooting footage, Eli looked off into the distance fondly, thinking of other episodes Triptych TV could have come up with. Like going indoor rock climbing, or zip-lining, or going to an amusement park. 

“Perfect!” Teo’s exclamation scared Eli out of his daydream. “That was exactly the look I was going for! Perfect!” The vocalist repeated, rewatching the footage with pride. 

“Alright, that’s a wrap here, then.” Asa clapped his hands together. “For the rest of the video, we just need to dig up some old videos from our trainee days, and we’re golden!”

The rest of the night, the boys searched through their old videos from when they were trainees. Eli scrolled through his camera roll, occasionally stopping to look at old photos of him and his trainee friends. 

One specific video caught his eye. He didn’t even need to click on the video to know which one it was. In the thumbnail was Soyeon, smiling up at the camera. It was the day they went to the beach with the other trainees. 

“Soyeon-ah,” Daehyun’s voice called out, walking over to the girl crouching next to a tidepool. Soyeon looked up, her eyes sparkling in the sunlight, a smile stretching over her face. “You look pretty right now.” Daehyun from the past complimented her. Soyeon wrinkled her nose and shook her head, a chuckle escaping her lips. “What about us, hyung! Do we look pretty?” A voice called from far away. The camera angled upward, revealing Calvin and Yeetai posing dramatically on top of some rocks. Daehyun’s laugh got cut off as the video ended. 

“Dude.” Asa’s voice critiqued from over Eli’s shoulder. The leader jumped, not expecting the younger boy to be directly behind him. The Japanese member shook his head sympathetically. “You’re still not over her, huh?” 

Daehyun exhaled, looking down at the paused video. Asa sighed too before gripping the elder’s shoulder in comfort. “Hey man, don’t force yourself to move on. It never works out, trust me.” Asa advised, the melancholy in his tone made the young man seem weathered. 

Daehyun let out a short chuckle. “What do you know about love, huh?” Asahiko rolled his eyes and shoved Daehyun’s shoulder playfully. “Hey, I’ve been around the block a few times.”  “You’re a virgin, Asahiko.” Teo called from the hallway. “You’re a bigger virgin!” Asahiko hollered back.  “You both are massive virgins.” Daehyun settled, shaking his head, laughing at his groupmates. 

The boys had finally put together a collection of videos that they felt were sentimental to them. Daehyun decided on keeping the video of Soyeon in. Nearly all of Teo’s videos included Nia and Zim, as they were basically attached to each other’s hips during their trainee days. Most of Asa’s included Saito and, to no one's surprise, Yen. 

They pieced together their new footage with the old footage, weaving their past and present together in one 3-minute music video. When the boys had finally completed editing, they uploaded it to YouTube, waiting for their fans to react to the surprise video.

While they watched the comments and likes roll in, Eli relaxed back in his chair, looking at both of the boys on either side of him. “You know, even though you guys drive me up the wall sometimes,” Eli grins. “We’ve come a long way.” The boys nodded in agreement, a sentimental air had settled over the group that no one wanted to puncture.

[monotonous-minutia]

Les contes d’Hoffmann (Munich 2011) pt. 4

More reactions but fewer pictures

So this version was very interesting. First, it was a mixture of spoken dialogue, recit, and sung dialogue between the big numbers. So that made the dialogue kind of mixed-up as it was a patchwork of the versions I’m used to.

Then, there were some pieces missing, some new pieces, and familiar pieces that were shortened or slightly different. The Septet in Act 3 was gone completely, which is supposedly more authentic, but it would have been interesting to see how this cast handled it, especially Damrau, because she’s a goddess. But the way they did Act 3 wouldn’t have had room for it anyway. More on that later.

This production was very Niklausse-centric (100% okay with me since he is my favorite character). Brower is overall fantastic in this role and gives us a really layered portrayal of the character. I was a little concerned at first when there was no costume change between Niklausse and the Muse because I saw that in another one once and it was handled very, very poorly. But they pulled it off here and in some ways it made everything more gay because he was Niklausse the entire time, and is literally declaring his love for Hoffmann while in male form so it’s like...obviously. How can anyone watch this opera and not understand that it is gay.

It focused on Niklausse a lot--he was even listed in the credits before Hoffmann. In some productions I see the camera tends to focus on everything but Niklausse and we only see him when he’s talking or doing something important. But this time the camera followed him around almost more than it followed Hoffmann. I really think they were embracing the idea that this is actually his story. I mean, he gets the opening and the closing numbers, and all of his motivation comes out within the first five minutes of the opera. The overall plot is him watching Hoffmann’s love life thwarted over and over and in every single act he has a moment where hes making it painfully obvious that he wants Hoffmann for himself. It’s easier to forget that in the shortened versions which is why I like the extended ones the best. The only time the camera DOESN’T flip over to Niklausse every couple seconds in this one is, ironically, one of the most important moments: when he runs away from Pitichinaccio in Act 3 after being kidnapped. Apparently that’s when he saw Giulietta take Hoffmann’s reflection and somehow figured out how to fix it by the time he made his way back.

In this one Niklausse is ALWAYS doing something. The only other one I’ve seen where he’s this busy is the Met’s Sher production. He’s all over Hoffmann, all the time. He’s running around being adorable. He’s spying on the other characters. He’s eating a popsicle while watching Hoffmann serenade Olympia. He’s giving Lindorf the roses Stella left for Hoffmann and helping him cut off the stems, just to be spiteful. He REALLY does not like these ladies. He can laugh at Olympia because she’s a robot, but boy does he hate Giulietta. At some points he looks like he’d like to go fight her himself. But he’s too busy keeping Hoffmann out of trouble...as best as he can.

I loved Villazón as Hoffmann. This was my first time seeing him in a comic role. I wasn’t sure how he’d handle it, because sometimes it’s hard for actors to go from one type of role to another. Also, though, Hoffmann is kind of a comic and dramatic role. Villazón manages to match them both. I love his ridiculous dance moves in the Olympia act and his awkward, smoky flirting with Giulietta in Act 3. He seems consistently irritated with Niklausse but he also kind of has RBF anyway. The only thing I’m missing is his interactions with the villains. They take out the entire insult duet that they’re supposed to have in the prologue and a section of the Trio des yeux in Act 1, as well as their interactions before and after Schlemil’s death because they did it so differently. Because of these a lot of their interaction is missing, which takes a lot away, I feel. Especially a shame because Relyea is fantastic as the villains, taking on each persona with ease and making them totally believable as incarnations of the same person. His Miracle was phenomenal. I got so many chills.

Damrau. OH MY GOD ahhhhhhh. She’s so fantastic I can’t handle it. I love her so much. I flipped out when I saw she was playing ALL the heroines. Hot damn. She did it so well. Like I would have believed it was actually four different people because of how well she encapsulated all the characters. Her fierce, broken Antonia, her blank-faced, flighty Olympia, and her seductive, malicious Giulietta were all so well done. She had an interesting portrayal of Stella--usually I see her as kind of a snooty figure, or dismissive, but this one seemed really sympathetic. She doesn’t have any lines in this one, but she’s so expressive as she sneaks into Hoffmann’s room in the prologue to leave him the letter, and again in the epilogue only to find him dead drunk and having torn up the picture and flowers she gave him. I actually felt really sorry for her. 

And of course her signing is phenomenal. EEEEEK. She gets all of Olympia’s coloratura on point and her Antonia is so wistful and her duet with Miracle was phenomenal. And Giulietta was ridiculously sexy and she got a whole new number which is awesome because in some versions the character doesn’t really have a lot to do, and the song, though it was short and not in itself spectacular, let Damrau continue to show off her skills.

I’m going to take a moment to talk about the poison scene for my own edification. In the Wikipedia and Britannica summaries of this opera, both describe Act 3 (Giulietta) ending with Dapertutto trying to poison Niklausse because he’s tired of him constantly rescuing Hoffmann, but Giulietta drinks the poison instead and dies. I have never seen a production where this happens, or read a version of the libretto where it does, so I don’t know where that comes from. There IS a part in the original play (of the same title) at the end of Act 3 where this happens: Hoffmann wants to see Giulietta, Niklausse (who is called Friederick in the play...I do not know why) tells him he’s going to get a ride for them and drag him home of he has to. Dapertutto goes to Hoffmann to try and convince him to go to Giulietta because it’s all part of his plan; Hoffmann tells him he can’t because Friederick is coming back, and Dapertutto gives Hoffmann a sleeping potion to give to Friederick. It turns out to actually be poison and Giulietta drinks it before Friederick gets back. But again nothing like that has ever happened in any production I’ve seen. I’ve seen her get stabbed plenty of times but this is the only one where she drinks poison and it’s not even close to what happened in the play so idk how it even got here. But it was an interesting device and it suited this production. I just wish we could have seen the moment where Niklausse breaks free from Pitichinaccio and runs out.

The set was so great. I loved it. Like Sher’s, it did a great job of balancing the comic and the dramatic parts of the opera. Act 1 was all pastel colors and patterned wallpaper, vibrant, eccentric costumes and bright lighting. Act 2 was dark and sombre, and the house was crowded with furniture and a bunch of giant books which really helped me feel the suffocation that Antonia was experiencing. And Act 3 was open, dimly lit, and had that huge mirror. There was a distinct divide between the two spaces--Giulietta’s room and the hallway--but there was no wall, so seeing the action on both sides, but not having them interact or being very aware of each other, was a really interesting dynamic, especially in the Hoffmann/Giulietta duet where they’re in the room getting saucy and Niklausse is stuck outside with Pitichinaccio, staring at the door. And then the prologue and epilogue, going back and forth from the tavern to being Hoffmann’s room in what appears to be a hotel (or maybe an apartment). The fact that those two sets are really similar though, and travel right into each other, adds to the feeling of intimacy; Hoffmann is letting the others into his life, even as he enters their space (the tavern).

I can’t get over Niklausse coming out of the wine cabinet. And Hoffmann not thinking twice about it. Was he just too drunk to think it was weird? Or is he used to Niklausse hanging out in strange places? Also Lindorf didn’t seem to think it was odd that Niklausse tagged along for his aria or took his hat for him or helped him cut up the roses. It’s interesting because there are some versions where there’s a bit of an association between the two, because they have similar goals but different methods (though there is a notable exception to this, but that is a rant for another day). Sometimes I wonder if Lindorf has any idea that Niklausse is also the Muse. Here it’s left ambiguous, but also Lindorf doesn’t have a lot to do, because his duet with Hoffmann is cut short and he doesn’t talk in the epilogue at all.

There are literally no two Hoffmanns that look alike. I’ve seen several, and even revivals of old productions sometimes have differences. There’s literally a whole book about it (which I most definitely did not spend a ridiculous amount of money to buy). Even so, this was the most interesting edit I’ve stumbled upon. It would have helped to have English subtitles so I could better understand the parts I wasn’t familiar with, though I was able to use Google Translate at some points.

Overall this was solidly one of my favorites. Niklausse was surprisingly adorable, despite looking creepily similar to Hoffmann. It was quite gay, but not as angsty as some others, because Niklausse was rarely in doubt of his ability to win the day--even during the Violin Aria; he recovered fairly quickly. Only in the Giulietta act did he seem to be nearing the end of his rope, so tired of Hoffmann’s BS and having to constantly drag him out of trouble. They have an interesting device throughout where Niklausse writes in a notebook at the beginning and end of each act, as if he’s recording their adventures. He’s positively giddy in the epilogue when the book is finished, to the point that he just laughs when Hoffmann yells at him. He has what he wants and he knows he won. I am a sucker for the angst, though, and am known to destroy myself by repeatedly watching various renditions of the Violin Aria that break my heart. This one could have been gayer in that sense, but again, the way Niklausse is portrayed in general is super gay and the fact that Villazón plays Hoffmann as pretty gay too helps in that area.

Also I will never get over this picture.

I’ll leave you with that.

[heath-ur]

00Q Kinktober - Day 7

Prompt List ; Ao3  Pairing: Bond x Q  Prompt: Sixty-Nine  Warnings: Smut, No Beta

Me: I need to get faster at these. Only 100-300 words of lead-up & 500-600 words of smut. No more auxiliary characters. Go. 

Also Me: So let’s do nearly 700 words of unnecessary plot and make R lesbian.

Brain, why?   

The next afternoon, Q is still doing his best not to show his subordinates just how sore his ass is. He’s not sure how successful he’s been able to hide it from R or Moneypenny; going by their smug looks, not much, so he just eyes them smugly right back. ‘Yes, my arse is sore,’ he hopes his looks covey, ‘but it was so worth it.’ Going by their eye-rolls, he thinks they get it. 

Despite the distraction, he is able to complete 3 projects and assists 002 with breaching the security of her weapons-dealing mark. They gather enough intel that she’ll be returning to London in the next 48 hours. All-in-all, he thinks he deserves to be a little smug. 

So of course that’s when Bond walks into Q branch. Damn. Q knew he was forgetting something. 

He knows - he knows - that neither Bond or Alec consider these little liaisons as going steady. There has been no talk about exclusivity, they both still fuck during missions with or without honeypots. And that’s fine. Q isn’t one to be jealous - it’s a waste of productivity and energy. And he’s used to having multiple and infrequent partners. That’s what happens when you work with a governmental spy agency. 

However, he also knows that the two blonds are quite good friends. And also know how to kill with their thumbs. When he started this he didn't know that they would keep coming back for this long; he hadn’t realized that he would need to tell them about each other. Honestly, he’d thought that after the first successful mission each, the agents would lose interest. But of course they can’t even follow their own usual patterns. 

So this leaves Q standing at his platform station, hands planted on his sit-stand desk, as he faces a post-mission-high double-oh that wants a booty call while Q’s booty is off-the-table this time around. Q nods in Bond’s direction and cuts his eyes to the office-space he rarely uses since he prefers to stand among his subordinates. 

Bond nods back and wanders into the small, separated space. R gives Q a glance over her tablet as she swings by his desk with a new cup of tea. Q signs and takes a sip of the tea. His voice is as dry as the desert when he speaks up, “Alert security if I’m not back out in 5?”

R snorts and rolls her eyes, “And have them walk in to you being buggered? No thanks, boss. You’ve got about 30 minutes until that meeting with HR.” 

Oh, big buggering fuck. He forgot about that, too. Alec must have shorted out his brain last night. He hums and takes a bigger swing of his tea. “I suppose that’s another option.”

R sighs. Q isn’t sure how she makes it both exasperated and wistful. “If 002 ever fancies me back, you best be as understanding as I’m being right now.” 

Q nods, “If you find yourself a lady worthy of your brilliance, you can always borrow my office.” He turns and winks at her before making his way to the office. 

Inside, Bond is sitting on the futon that takes up a good third of the room while he looks at the lone Home Bargains art print on the opposing wall. He looks up and smirks as Q walks in and locks the door. “You know, not that I’m opposed to office sex, but I was planning on offering you dinner again.”

Q shrugs and crosses his arms, “I’ve 4 more hours, at least. No sense in you waiting. However, full disclosure, I’ve only 30 minutes and my arse isn’t an option at this time. I’m too sore.” 

Bond’s eyebrows slowly rise higher on his face as Q speaks, but his smile never waivers. “Oh? Well, I hope it was at least worth it. Anyone I know?” He waggles said eyebrows, gesturing with his hand for Q to step closer. 

Q steps until he’s only an arms reach away, humming. “Well, I have a type, you see. Something about blonds and muscles and men with licenses to kill.” He shrugs nonchalantly and loses the last of his nervous energy as Bond’s grin widens.

Bond lunges forward to wrap his palms gently at Q’s hips to drag him forward. “So, you’re Alec’s little kitten, hmm? He was singing your praises this morning.” 

Q slides one of his knees between Bond’s thighs to rest it on the futon’s edge, draping his arms loosely on Bond’s shoulders. “Do you two always gossip about your conquests?” 

Bond laughs and rubs his palms soothingly up Q’s back. “Only the good ones. And never enough to breach the virtues of their privacy. But, oh, the things we’re going to be talking about after this.” He suddenly reaches a hand up and grips Q’s curls in a tight grip, tugging him down enough for a kiss. 

Q can’t help his startled moan as he opens up his mouth for the kiss, letting Bond control the depth as he keeps gripping and twisting at the strands in his hand. When he’s let up, he knows his eyes must be dazed and he can feel the flush in his cheeks and down his neck. “So, no concerns, then?”

Bond confirms with another kiss, this one lasting only long enough to make Q whine as Bond pulls back and angles Q’s head to kiss down his jaw and throat to bite against the fabric of Q’s shirt. “30 minutes?” 

Q nods.

“Well, best make it worth it,” Bond winks and starks working on Q’s trouser buttons. Q gets with the program and begins to reciprocate, fighting with Bond’s buckle until it’s bested. 

Cocks freed, Bond pulls two condoms from his suit jacket pocket and rips one open to put onto his own cock. At the same time, he shifts and settles until he’s laying sideways on the futon, pants sliding off and down his legs. Q begins following him but gets stopped by a palm on his hip. “Turn around, Q, let me see Alec’s hard work.” 

Q blushes and his cock jumps as he fumbles putting the condom on. He lets his pants fall full to the ground, tripping out of his shoes to scramble onto the futon and swinging one leg to straddle Bond’s thighs, facing Bond’s feet. The man wears sock garters, the functional (non-functional) part of his brain thought as Bond’s previous words scrolled through the other half of his brain. 

Bond puts his hands back to Q’s hips and arranges the man as he sees fit, to get a better look. He hums and draws one finger around a still- tender mark of Alec’s index on the back of Q’s thigh. “Oh, these will be beautiful bruises. It really is too bad that he didn’t take pictures like he had wanted to.” 

Q’s traitorous cock jumps  again. He had to curl into himself and let his hands drop to either side of Bond’s knees. “20 minutes.” Q fails at trying to sound unaffected. 

Bond lets out an affected sad sigh. “We both best get to it, then.” And then in one motion he pulls Q’s hips closer to his head as he slides further down the futon to take Q’s cock in his mouth. It’s heat and the flutter of Bond’s tongue and the tapered rumble of his trapped laugh.

Q curses and takes a breath before he returns the favor and presses his mouth around Bond’s cock, sucking and working his tongue, trying to get his self-possession back by proving his skill. If Bond’s approving hum is any indication, he’s succeeding. Of course, that hum is accompanied by a controlled roll of Bond’s hip, making Q take more until Bond’s cock is being swallowed in the preservation of Q’s gag-reflex. 

Q sucks and rolls his own hips, smacking at Bond’s thigh in reprimand as the older man presses a thumb into one of Q’s forming bruises just to make him jump. He can’t help but squirm, even with his dick held in Bond’s mouth. The other hand gripping and fondling his bullocks doesn't help. Q would try working on Bond’s, but to be honest he needs both wobbling arms to hold himself up. 

Instead, he rises off until only Bond’s tip is still inside his mouth, takes a deep breath, and goes back down in three quick bobs, holding at the tip against just to repeat the pattern. The noises are slick and sound loud in the room. Q has a moment of concern about sound-proofing or lack thereof, but quickly forgets the concern as Bond does something with his tongue. Oh, maybe he could learn that.

The whole experience is a race to the finish-line and both parties cross nearly at the same time with matching thrusts and hot suction, faces messy and breathless. Q pulls back onto his knees and checks his watch. 

4 minutes. “Fuck.”