#with the first comment i was like ok i guess. but then it kept happening

[delioncourtes]

these past few days i've had at least 8 comments from different people who apparently seem to think i'm....actually michael sheen?

[myouicieloz]

What Friends do

Kim Minjeong x 5thmember!reader

Synopsis: winter finds out that you and giselle have been fucking. as you grow tired of her subtle glares and questions, you ask her if she wants to try it, too. She’s hesitant about it, at first, but soon confesses that she’d love to try being edged in public, and naturally, you’re more than happy to help her with that.

Warnings: sub!winter x dom!reader. public edging + cumming. vibrators. lots of plot w a little bit of smut, I guess :) I hope this is ok ˆˆ I tried my best.

Word count: 5k

Notes: I j kept writing and suddely it was 5k long lol. honestly, I think +3k words (personally speaking) might be too much… the words start to lose their meanings and my writing kind of slacks off, yk? So it’ll try to tone it down, for any future works. that’s my opinion, tbh. what do you think?

Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3

-

“Are you and Aeri unnie a thing?” Winter asks, ever so casually. Her eyes are still glued on her phone; playing sudoku, most likely.

Her words make you choke on your milkshake, coughing violently. “What? No. of course not,” You add, curiously, “What makes you think that?”

“She checks you out all the time.” Your bandmate shrugs, tone indifferent as if she were talking about the weather. “And it’s not like you’re exactly subtle, either. You’d think her face is in her tits, with how much you ogle them.”

You frown, playing with your drink’s straw. Your encounters with Aeri were happening with some sort of frequency now, although it was rather natural— you were both needy and the sex was good and easy, so it was truly a win-win situation. However, you’ve never stopped to think about the way you acted in public. Now that you did, you could observe the truth behind Winter’s comments: you’d gotten closer to her over the past few weeks. Giselle wasn’t a naturally over affective person, but she’d often be found tugging your shirt or brushing your hips, dragging you to be closer to her whenever you wandered too far.

You gulp, reminding yourself to talk to her about it, later.

“…because if you are, then it’s ok, too.” You’ve missed most of Winter’s discourse, lost in thoughts, one she’s deeply immersed into. The older girl’s voice hushes in a low, hesitant tone, the usual confidence she’d try so hard to bring on stage all gone now. “I just wish any of you told us. I-I thought we were friends! I tell you everything. It’s not fair.”

Winter’s short, auburn hair moves with the wind’s breeze, enticing her delicate appearance. She crosses her arms, rolling her eyes once she realizes you were too distracted to pay attention to her words and give her a proper answer.

She already knows about it, somehow. And she’s hurt you haven’t told her. You realize. She’s a smart, attentive girl, of course; probably figured it out all by herself.

“Sorry, I dozed out.” You shrug as she remains silent, not backing down from getting her answer—yet not amused, either. It wasn’t uncommon for you to unintentionally drift apart during a conversation, with your unnies having to explain stuff to you two, sometimes three times, before you finally managed to maintain your focus for long enough to understand. “Ok, ok. We might’ve fucked a few times…”

Minjeong smirks; she loves to be right about things. Clapping her hands, she lets out little giggles, “I knew it! Why didn’t you tell me sooner, Y/n? We’re literally best friends!”

She was right; Winter was the one you were closest with, out of all the girls, even though none of you knew exactly why. Your personalities were rather different. However, you’d often be found talking for hours and hours over the craziest topics with insane enthusiasm. You tell her everything, and she was great at giving you advice and putting you back to your senses. She never complained, not even when your banter was too frequent or too whiny for the other members to endure.

“I’m sorry,” You apologize, sincerely. You really should’ve told her: it was nothing serious, and there was no reason in hiding it. “It just didn’t even go through my mind. It was so natural how it happened the first time—and the others… I didn’t think it would even matter.” You poke her nose, noticing the way Winter’s pout turns into a small smile. You knew she wasn’t truly upset— she simply just longs to be a part of your life. “What do you want to know, though? C’mon, I’ll tell you everything.”

Your suggestive tone is the reason Winter’s face turns as red as a tomato, sipping on her Coke Zero avidly to avoid your suggestive answer.

She does smack you when your loud laugh starts attracting them attention, though.

-

“Aeri is going out.” Winter announces, taking your AirPods off without your consent, so you’d fully focus on her.

You glance at Aeri, who’s caught up rearranging a bunch of stuff in one of her small Prada purses. Your bandmate is wearing a beautiful leopard dress with scandalous black heels, pin-straight hair falling neatly to her waist and red tint kissing her lips. She looks flawless, much different from you— too cozy in your big pajamas and disheveled hair.

“I have eyes, you know.” You mumble, but smile at the sight of the Uchinaga, dropping your nintendo on the couch and whistling to get her attention. “You look so hot, Aeri unnie! Have fun!” Aeri smiles and gives you and Winter a kiss before running towards the door.

“I will, thanks Y/nn-ie! Don’t wait up for me!” She screams as she locks the door, leaving the room silent. The only apparent tension is Winter, who stares at you with narrowed eyes.

“What is wrong with you, unnie?” You scoff, annoyed as you return to your game. Mario’s red cap and silhouette can be seen through the screen in your hands, and Winter shifts on the couch, hugging her knees as she keeps on staring at you.

“Aeri is going out. Somi-sunbaenim will be there, too.” She repeats herself, making you even more confused. Seeing your frown and how her words weren’t enough to have you interested in paying her attention, Winter grabs the device, shutting it down.

“Hey! What the fuck?” You try to take it from her hands, only for her to tighten her grip.

The auburn haired girl has, unlike you, a significant amount of strength.

“Yn, focus! Aeri is going out and Somi will be there!” Her voice is outraged, not able to understand how you were so chill about this.

“So?” You are still frowning as you try to get your nintendo back, clearly not bothered. “Somi’s fucking hot, Winter. I hope Aeri fucks her. Again, I mean. You know…”

Winter’s mouth opens to a big O, surprised by your answer. You take advantage of that moment to grab your nintendo back, although she’d managed to get your sole focus. You cock your head to the sides, engines running with the earn of being able to understand what went through her mind.

“Aren’t you jealous? Or insecure?” Winter asks, frowning.

“What? No. Why would I be?” seeing her equally confused expression, you sigh, sitting properly. “Winter, we fuck, that’s literally it. Aeri and I are friends, and will only be friends. It’s just sex, really.”

It was clear that the older girl still didn’t understand your dynamics, but she bit her tongue, not wanting to be a bitch about it.

“Ok.” She nodded, messing her hair, “I just don’t really get it, I think.”

“There’s no jealousy between us, Minjeongie.” You tell her, hoping to clarify things. “Because there’s not a relationship, get it? And there won’t be one. We are friends, and bandmates, and we like to have fun, sometimes. Nothing else.”

She stands up, still looking at you as if you were an alien.

“Ok.” Your bandmate sighs, clearly disapproving your whole dynamics. “I’ll go to my room.”

“Huh, ok.”

You stare at Winter’s back while she leaves the living room, without waiting for an answer.

-

The two of you are splashed on your bedroom’s massive rug when she mentions it again.

“So… it all started with that?” Winter asks, looking at the vibrator displayed on your desk. You grit your teeth, realizing you’d simply thrown it in the first place you saw, after cleaning it. You had found the toy when doing your laundry, and decided it wouldn’t hurt to keep it extra clean, even if it had been ages since you’ve last used it.

After the day Giselle went to the party, you started noticing how curious Winter had gotten about your relationship— or lack thereof. She’d send you subtle glances whenever the five of you were hanging out, and her questions were soon becoming more and more obvious. It was fairly noticeable, how intrigued and interested the whole thing had gotten her.

With that, Winter started seeking for details of how you and Giselle fucked for the first time, which led you to the current situation: the green vibrator displayed in your hands, teasing your friend as you playfully jiggle it onto her face. You try to hand it to her so she’ll touch it, but she retreats instead, face all red from embarrassment.

“Pretty much, yeah.” You smirk, eyeing her just as curiously, “Why are you suddenly so interested, though? Would you like to try it?”

“What, no! Ew.” Her eyes go wide at your suggestion, and Winter shakes her head vigorously. You laugh at how she looks like she’s about to combust; she’s always been so composed, and so… chaste, whenever one of you mentioned anything about sex. It’s endearing, even.

You had thought, initially, that she was simply a private person— which was more than ok, of course. However, her current reactions led you to wonder if her reactions weren’t from lack of experience, too.

“Ok, then.” You tuck your vibrator back in the drawers and brush the subject off, immediately sensing how her muscles relax, and her face changes into a mix of easy features. The last thing you’d want is to make her uncomfortable, so the change is much appreciated.

You do notice how Winter keeps biting her lip, though. And the way her eyes flicker to your drawers, before focusing back on your face. You bite your cheek, too, to prevent a big smile from covering your face. She’ll come around, just like you did. Patience was a virtue, and you would happily wait for your friend to grow confident enough to come out of her shell and take whatever she wanted to.

-

“I changed my mind.” Winter announces, staring down at you with assertiveness. You snort, pouting.

“Yeah, that’s too bad. You gave me that fucking top, there’s no way you’re getting it back.”

“No.” She rolls her eyes, annoyed. “I mean, about that other thing.”

The five of you have just finished performing at Music Bank, and you’re currently trying very hard to sit still, so the makeup artist can work on getting all the foundation out of your face. As a result, you’re unable to turn and take a proper look at your bandmate, whose voice is so quiet you barely hear her correctly.

“You mean dinner? Because we still have to cook, even though it sucks, I know. It’s our day, there’s no escape.” You frown. Winter rubs her arms nervously, eyes staring everywhere but at your face.

“No!” She’s exasperated, and impatient to know you’re not playing with her: you simply don’t understand what she’s implying. Which means she’ll have to be direct about it, nearly begging. And that’s the last thing Winter wants to do. “I want to… try what you’ve suggested, the other day. With the, ahn sex thing.”

You try your best to not make your eyes grow wide, swallowing deep to keep focus. “Ok. Do you want to do it when we get back home?”

Winter hesitates. Her hands trace patterns on the beige vanity, “I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to do it at home, either.” She seems to ponder, before adding. “But I do want to do it. Badly”.

“Ok.” You nod, smiling at her to make sure she’s comfortable and completely reassured. “We can just go with it whenever you’re comfortable, then. There’s no need to hurry.”

Winter smiles back at you, before being dragged by Ningning to film that new tiktok challenge the maknae’s been so eager to shoot. You don’t mind, though. In, fact, you thrive on watching them being the silliest, carefree versions of themselves they can, while on camera. It pleases you to know they can show such part of themselves to your fans without being scrutinized or criticized.

-

The five of you are at the mall, enjoying your day off together as if you’ve never been separated in your entire lives. You’re laying in one of the waiting room’s cushions, waiting for Karina and Ningning to be done with trying on the whole store’s winter collection. Giselle’s hands are full, too, and her critical eyes examine every piece before choosing for herself. Her expressive faces leave you curious, eager to you know what thoughts go through her mind. In fact, you get so invested in trying to guess the girl’s internal monologue, you barely notice Winter’s frame standing beside you.

You haven’t touched her at all, not ever since she’s confessed to you about her urges. You know Winter must be fuming, whimpering with need and the desire to be relived, or simply touched, in any ways you’d like. Your intention was to leave the idea of being pleasured linger on your bandmate’s mind. The flashes going through her brain for weeks until she was nothing but pliable and ready for your commands, searching restlessly for an orgasm that she’d have to work really hard for.

It was the sweetest part, out of all of it. Being able to see Winter jump slightly whenever your fingers brush her skin, like a lost, fragile bunny. You adore it.

“Y/n.” She whines, and you can hear the neediness in her voice, no matter how much she tries to hide it. “I don’t want to wait, anymore. I want it now.”

You roll her eyes at her demands, even though you’ve already decided you’ve had enough playing, too.

“I do have something for you, Winter.” You tell her, reaching your arms out. Once she gets to you, you kiss her hands, ever so gently. “Something to make you feel better. To kill the urges that have been going on your body for weeks, now. Would you like it?”

Her voice falters. “I thought you had forgotten about t-that.”

“Oh, I could never.” You think your smirk will surpass your face, with how much you’re smiling. Ever since she’d pleaded for you to touch her, your mind has been plagued by the numerous ways you’d take her, ruining her pretty little body until she was passed out, drunk on her orgasms. “Shall we, then?”

Truth be told, the anticipation you’ve built was starting to get to you as much as it riled Winter up.

She was confused to be guided to the restroom stalls rather to the car. Were you not taking her home? How else would you get a taste of her, like you promised, then?

Her thoughts, however, dissipated once you started to unbutton her jeans, letting the loose piece fall through her knees.

“W-What are you doing?” She paled, trying to reach for them back. Her back hit the wall, and she was once again reminded of how petite she truly was, cornered by your frame. She tried her best to nudge you, hoping to get you off her. Your feet, however, were stamped onto the ground, and the grip you had on her hips was a tad too strong. She gulped, realizing you’ve allowed her to overpower you every time you played games or competed for something. “Someone might c-come in, Y/n. Please…”

It aroused you to have her begging so quickly. You’d barely touched her, yet there she was: with her mouth half open and her fingers poking, scratching your neck. You smiled.

“They can.” You confirmed, seeing her gulp. “We better not take long, then. Right? We wouldn’t want anyone to see you like this. You look so pretty, though. I wish you could see yourself, right now.”

Your words were nothing but true. She looks so adorable, it leaves you aching. Your hands twitch, tense with how much you’ve envisioned groping her tiny body and sticking your fingers up in her cunt until she was screaming loud enough for everyone in that store to know what you were up to.

You’d wait for her to come around and be confident, though, just like Giselle did to you. Besides, the anticipation was part of the fun.

She hums, already feeling herself become lightheaded by your praises. Soon enough, Winter finds herself getting distracted by your sweetness, and it’s not long until she’s completely relaxed under you. In fact, she’s so engrossed by your frame, she barely registers your hand. It trails lower, and your fingers brush her clit through her small panties.

Winter drops her head, even though she’s no longer worried, and looks up to meet your eyes.

“I did say you were going to get what you’ve been asking for, didn’t I, dearest?” You explain, focused on her big orbs. Winter’s eyes observe your every move, attentive. “And you’ve been doing so good with the shows and rehearsals… You deserve a treat, naturally.”

You allow your hand to cub her sex, slowly caressing it as you feel her shiver under you. With gentle manners, you insert two of your fingers into her cunt, smirking to find her already dripping wet. She moans so loud you start placing small, wet kisses down her neck, to gather her focus back to you and not to the deep, unhurried pleasure your fingers provide her, now pulling in an out in a slow rhythm.

Taking all of her in, you add, “Do you like this, Minjeongie? The thrill of knowing someone might walk in and know how dirty you are, spreading yourself for me with such ease?” You smirk, not resisting on rubbing her clit for a few seconds, before your fingers find the place they were meant to wander for so long. “God, your cute little cunt is so wet already.”

You let out a little laugh, reminding of yourself of your intentions as you retrieve your fingers from her pussy, making her lick them clean. She does so, like a good, obedient girl.

“You always excel in everything, unnie. Such a good job you’re doing.” You praise the girl locked in your arms, immediately shutting down her needy whines and complaints.

“Please don’t stop…” Whatever words Winter’s had in mind die the moment she spots a small toy in your hands. You flicker it between your fingers, allowing her to process what you intended to do. “It this—“

“What you’ve told me about? Yes, it is.” You smile, making a show of sucking and getting the vibrator wet for her yourself. This time, it’s her turn to have a darkened gaze, one filled with hunger. Her attention is all on you: on your next movements, on your body. You adore it. “I even got it in purple, just like you had told me. It’s so pretty, Winter. A pretty little toy for a pretty girl, begging to be ruined.” You murmur, getting to your knees and facing her pussy. Your gaze never leaves hers, careful to not miss a single breath of hers.

Winter is truly a sight, and you want to make sure you’d remember all of her sensitive, fast responses.

In fact, you were actually very surprised when Winter went to your room in the middle of the night, confessing about her few, failed sexual experiences and what she’d like to try, someday. It wasn’t unusual for you to talk about sex with your bandmates, although Winter never spoke about herself to you— at least, not directly. However, the two of you were already used to talking about numerous topics, and the conversation went by easily enough. You were pretty surprised to hear her confess, with a quiet tone, about how much the thought of herself being tossed around like a doll aroused her. How she sometimes fantasized about doing things in public, yet hidden enough so people wouldn’t be completely sure about her actions. It pleased her, knowing she’d be clouding their minds, leaving them wondering without a proper answer. Though they’d have their doubts, no one would have a clue about it: that was what aroused her the most.

Of course, you were more than eager to make her wishes come true, and the current time seemed like the perfect one to do just that.

Winter’s pretty cunt’s all on display for you, and you can’t help but to get a taste of her. So, of course, you do so: parting her folds, you give her clit a brief, sloppy kiss. You feel your friend’s delicate fingers forging a firm hold onto your hair, and Winter tries her best to not make any noises. It’s the same as nothing, though.

She is, just as you had imagined it, too sensitive.

“No! Y/n, don’t tease…” She huffs, frustrated. As the toy slips inside, she can’t help but to let out a high-pitched scream—one that’s muffled by her own hands, who run towards her mouth in hopes to keep herself quiet. Her shoulders shake due to her laughs, then, as she fails terribly.

Seeing her so carefree is more than enough to have you giggling, too. You mess her hair, pinching her cheeks.

“Behave, ok? If you’re good enough ‘till the end of the day, I might reward you when we get home.” You promise Winter as you get up, zipping her pants back to place adn kissing her cheek.

The look she gives you assures you she’ll be anything but.

-

“Are you okay, Minjeongie? Your face is all flushed.” Karina asks the red-haired girl, as the oldest sits beside you at the restaurant.

The three of you nod, and Ningning is quick to put her palm over Winter’s forehead.

“You’re hot, too. And all sweaty. Were you this sick earlier in the afternoon?” She asks, with a worried tone. Winter takes a sip of her water, hoping to collect herself before answering her bandmates, but nearly drowns herself in it once you increase the intensity of the vibrations. They echo into her cunt, making it impossible for her to answer anything straight.

She was so stupid, thinking it was an easy task: walk around with the girls as they tried some clothes on, then attend dinner, and soon to go back to their dorms, where she’d get her reward for being a good girl and finally get properly fucked, like she had silently begged you for so long. No, she was a smart, attentive girl. How could she not have predicted that stupid toy would send such hums deep into her walls? It was difficult to stay still, and nearly impossible to focus or to keep her mouth shut. In fact, she feared deeply she’d just end up moaning loudly if she even tried to speak anything.

Luckily for her, you decide to give her a few moments of peace. As soon as the settings were back to its lowest, she takes another long gulp, with deep breaths, too.

“I’m all good, really. Just tired from walking around so much.” It’s all she manages to say, avoiding Ningning’s lingering touches.

“We should get you to the doctor, perhaps.” Giselle suggests. Her eyes, however, are not focused on Winter. Her attention is all on you, instead. Her gaze is so strong you turn your head away, looking everywhere but to your best friend.

“No! No, there’s no need for that.” Winter gesticulates, nodding and moving her upper body as much as she’s able to without getting the toy to budge. She tries her best to prove to her friends she was indeed ok. “Really, I’m sure it’ll pass once the food c-comes fuck.” Winter stands up abruptly, leaning on her arms to lift herself up as her legs felt like pure jelly. “Nervermind. I j-just have to use the restroom real quick. If you’ll excuse me.”

So, Winter leaves, without waiting for an answer. Almost instantly, you get up too, setting your napkin aside in a calming motion.

“I’ll go help her, girls. Don’t worry.” They all nod, their features completely diverting from one another; while Karina is frowning, Ning keeps alternating her looks into you and the hallway Winter has just disappeared into, torn between letting you handle the situation or stepping up and helping her unnie herself, and Giselle… Giselle has a blank expression, the engines running inside her mind.

Her long nails tap the wooden table in a steady rhythm, staring at your back as you leave them be, walking into the restroom to meet your bandmate. You make sure to lock the door once you get inside, too.

The room is exquisite, a perfect portrait of the whole establishment; embroiled with white and red, the adornments are carefully thought to have the room give off a harmonious, eloquent vibe. You don’t pay much attention to it, though. Instead, your gaze is focused on the girl in front of you, the one who’s gripping the sink with too much strength.

“Are you unwell, unnie? How can I help you?” You ask her, playfully.

Winter stares at you thought the mirror, as you approach her. Her teeth are clenched, her clothes are nibbled and her looks hold fire in them. You’re certain she could kill someone with such thing as a stare if she wanted to.

She opens her mouth, ready to throw a world of curses at you, but stops herself once you motion to your phone, now placing her vibrator at a particularly high setting.

“I’d keep some of those pretty thoughts of yours inside your head, if you’d like to cum just now.”

She’s smart, insufferably so, and you get the proof of it as soon as your words leave your mouth. Quickly, Winter’s defiant stare is gone, and she’s all pliable in your embrace, instead. She’s a whiny little mess, rubbing her teeth on your neck, licking and sucking it just slightly— though not enough to bruise.

“Let me cum, Y/n? Please? I really think I might explode.” She pleads, looking at you with her best puppy eyes. “I need it s-so bad, I swear I’ll fucking do anything, ‘promise.”

You smile at her change of attitude, nodding as you take the vibrator out of her cunt in one, swift motion, replacing it with your fingers. Your thumb works on her clit, applying just the right amount of pressure on it. Finally, you allow her to get the relief she so desperately wants.

“You can cum now, darling. Do it, then.”

The permission is all Winter needs to explode, her body throbbing as she feels so full of pleasure, with fireworks dangling from her skin into every possible part of her body. It’s so good, and she feels so complete it becomes difficult to breathe— the overwhelming sensations enough to make her shiver. She bites on your neck, then; just a single one, to keep her from screaming like she wanted to. You hold her through her orgasm, your strong arms helping to ride her through it as you whisper sweet praises in her ear. You’re proud of Winter.

You lose count of how many minutes you wait, making sure her breaths are even and stable to release her from your hold.

“You did excellent, holding up the whole time. Didn’t even let a single whimper out, in front of the girls. You took it so good, Winter…. Truly perfect.” You smirk, giving Winter’s tiny waist a reassuring squeeze. She hides her face in embarrassment, humming curses at you, but you can tell she’s delighted, too.

Grabbing her by the hips, you gently put her up on the marble. It’s an easy task, with her being so small, but the way your palms nearly circle her entire waist is enough for her face to get all flustered, once again.

Your low tone soothes Winter, who leans her head back as she feels your soft hands between her thighs, cleaning you up with paper the best you can, careful to not touch her most sensitive areas. The ghost of your fingers are enough to make her twitch, though, as much as she tries not to. Her responsiveness lets a laugh out of you, and you kiss the insides of her thighs, looking up at Winter with a reassuring smile.

“Stop saying it like that.” She murmurs, biting her bruised lip. Her hands run through her hair, just for the sake of having something to occupy herself with.

You smirk, throwing the paper away as you turn, taking a proper look at the beautiful, messy state she is. Still knelt between her thighs, you massage her thighs, palming them in big, circling motions.

“Like what?” You smirk, feigning innocence. Winter slaps you, playfully, and you shake your head, helping her to get down.

“Let’s go. The girls must be worried.” She says, trying to guide you out.

You stop her, gently grabbing her by the elbows.

“Are you really ok, though?” You ask, scanning her. “It’s ok if you still want some more time to gather yourself before going out, again. I can totally come up with something to fool them, or I don’t know—.”

Winter shakes her head, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. She’s shy, suddenly, as she answers, “I’m completely fine, I swear! Actually, I liked it a l-lot.”

You sigh, relieved. “Ok, ok. But if you feel otherwise, tell me. Deal?”

“Deal.” Your bandmate assures you, reaching out for the door. Before you leave, she calls for you quietly, “Y/n?”

You hum, staring at her still-flustered face.

“Thank you, you know. For… all of that.” Winter says, giving vou a faint smile.

“Don’t stress about it, unnie.” You smile back, nudging her. “It’s what friends do, right?”

Winter laughs, not believing your words.

“Sure. That’s what friends do.”

[sylvies-chen]

ok started the episode a little late but I just finished it so here’s the weekly recap folks…

TED LASSO 3.04 THOUGHTS:

holy shit this episode was FANTASTIC there was so much going on!! so much goodness!!

roy seeing jamie butt ass naked at 4 am… who had this on their bingo card? anyone? no?

I’m SO glad we got that sassy & ted mess out of the way, I hope ted stops the casual sex and realizes it’s not fulfilling his needs

nate picking up the little lasso figurine and ted still having the picture of him and nate feels like a third act breakup montage of a rom com moment please I feel sick 😭

dani befriending a 108-year-old man just makes so much sense to me. that’s my friendly husband right there !!!!!

OKLAHOMA. motherfucking… OKLAHOMA??? oh my god this is insane I’m foaming at the mouth like the way she laughed at his pun when sassy called them insufferable the way he told her she was better off without rupert the implications of her using a term from his marriage counseling to coax the truth out of him THE WAY SHE INSTANTLY KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH HIM

it’s also so good because that certainly wasn’t THE long awaited office chat or else they would have made a comment about “same place same time” so that means we have YET ANOTHER office chat coming up and I don’t doubt they’ll bring up “oklahoma” again

nate… ugh, what a guy. lonely is the only word for him. there’s something so sad and pitiable about where he’s at right now, getting all the fame and credit but no support. there is a good person inside him just banging to get out, you can feel it

ooooooof yeah shandy messed up BIG TIME and keeley, babe, it’s not your fault for trying to see the good in people and believing in them!! she’s probably going to have to make the tough call to fire her if she wants to get in jack’s good graces

the team getting angry and violent over seeing nate destroy the believe sign actually made me cry. it’s just beautiful to me, even if they reacted wrong in the context of the game. they’re saying, “we made something good here. we have something beautiful. how dare you defile what is sacred to us, something that has bettered us as people. feel our wrath. feel our hurt.” I love my richmond guys 😭

it’s so wild to me that rebecca dealt with rupert having an affair in a mature and restrained way but she lowkey went maniacal with ted at half time like girlie has range i guess wow 😂

TED’S FIRST ATTEMPT AT CONFRONTATION OH MY GOD FUCKING FINALLY and it went pretty well too!! he flat out admitted he was angry, and did so in a respectful way. the baby steps of growth that we see happening here are beautiful I’m so proud !!

can we get that sports commentator who said he kept predicting things too often to manifest a tedbecca endgame?

[winchesterandpie]

Commander Seresin

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x wife!reader

Word Count: 1446

Warnings: sooo self indulgent, insecure reader, feeling inadequate, sweet Jake, lead in to some spiciness at the end, but nothing actually happens

A/N: Do you ever change your tumblr profile pic and then when you're scrolling through your dash, you don't realize it's you? Just me? Ok. Anyways, as you may have guessed from some of my other fics, I have problems with insecurities, so I wrote some Jake being soft and comforting. Enjoy!

You watched Jake glide easily around the pool table, laughing with his fellow aviators. As they’d been kept together at North Island following the uranium mission, he had mellowed out significantly. Now, the snarky comments were more intended in good fun, less sharp. He was still the same man he had always been, just better at sharing pieces of himself, and it had won him solid friendships with the Dagger Squad.

He had gotten a promotion too, one that would be officially presented tomorrow. Lieutenant Commander Seresin. It had a nice ring to it. Though it was also true that you thought your husband’s name generally had a nice ring to it.

Tonight, everyone was celebrating. You had been in an equally celebratory mood mere moments ago, incredibly proud of your husband. Then, when you stepped away to get drink refills for everyone, stepped outside the conversation, it all settled in.

At first, it was fond--an affectionate recollection of everything your husband had accomplished in his career. Then, as the tally of his merits and achievements piled ever higher, you started to wonder what he saw in you. Your own pile of accomplishments felt so small in comparison as to not be worth mentioning.

Even when you had just met, Jake had already flown important missions and graduated from Top Gun. He had only continued to accumulate achievements, while you had… just sort of existed. You were living your life, sure, but you didn’t feel that your life was anything particularly remarkable. Certainly not like his.

You knew Jake saw the slow fall of your smile between knocking stripes into the table’s pockets. To anyone else, it likely would have gone unnoticed, but to Jake, you were an open book. He flashed a wickedly triumphant grin at Javy when he sank the final ball, then excused himself from the tournament. He made his way over to you, pressing a kiss to your forehead in greeting.

“Tired, sweets?” he asked, pulling the smile back to your face. He knew being around so many people, even friends, could be draining for you. Even though that wasn’t the cause of your gloom, it made you feel warm to know he looked out for you. “We can head out for the night if you’re done.”

“Tonight’s about you, sunshine. I can’t very well steal the guest of honor.” You would feel bad if he left the celebration because of you.

“I’ve always been all yours.” The unsaid message there was that he didn’t care about the party. “Ready to go?”

You hesitated for a moment, wavering under his gentle gaze. Finally, you nodded, dropping your head to his shoulder in something akin to defeat. Jake’s arm slid around you, holding you securely to him as he shielded you from view. He gave you as much privacy as he could in the crowded bar. After a moment and a deep breath, you nodded again and pushed yourself off the stool.

He kept you tucked close, waving a quick goodbye to the other pilots as the two of you made your way out of the Hard Deck to his truck. Jake smiled softly at you as he opened the car door and helped you into the seat. After climbing into the driver’s seat and pulling out of the parking lot, he took your hand and he didn’t let go. 

You tried to focus on the feeling of his fingers between yours rather than the thoughts swirling around your head. You didn’t want this night or this promotion to be about you. You knew he loved you. He told you so frequently and showed it even more. You knew, consciously, that he didn’t care about comparing your accomplishments to his, that it didn’t factor even remotely into his love. So, you tried desperately to silence your doubts and push them from your mind.

When you pulled into your driveway, he brought your hand to his lips before letting you go. Often, you would get out of the car yourself and meet him at the front of it, but today, you took the extra time in an attempt to compose yourself. Jake came around to your side, opening the door slowly.

“You okay?” he asked quietly, his green eyes fixed on you. He knew you weren’t, but he also knew that you would come to him in your own time.

And that time was not yet. You just nodded in response to his question, took his offered hand, and let him lead you into the house.

It wasn’t until you were in bed lying on his chest that you finally resigned yourself to telling him. You had been unable to quiet your mind on your own. Ultimately, you knew only he could calm the storm, so you reluctantly spoke up.

“Jake, you…” you started hesitantly, trailing your fingers up his chest. “You are so amazing. You’ve accomplished so many incredible things, and I am so proud of you.” You did mean that, despite everything.

“Thank you,” he replied, kissing your forehead. “I couldn’t do it without you.”

“You’d do just fine,” you snorted a derisive laugh. “You never needed me to be great.”

He let the quiet settle over you for a moment, his fingers trailing up and down along your spine. “What’s this about, pretty girl?” Jake asked at last, deciding that you needed a nudge to open up.

You sighed, your shoulders drooping in his hold. “What do you see in me?”

“I see my wife, the woman I love,” was his easy answer, given with a smile before he watched you more seriously. “What are you asking?”

“You have done so many impressive things, love. The life you lead is so exciting and you’ve accomplished so, so much. I just feel… boring in comparison,” you admitted. “I haven’t done anything particularly cool or noteworthy, and you just keep racking up achievements and commendations.

“And don’t get me wrong,” you continued hurriedly, not wanting him to misinterpret, “I love you so much and I know how hard you work. I am so proud of everything you do. I’m… I’m really sorry this is happening today, I really wanted to just be happy for you. I am happy for you, I promise.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I know,” he reassured softly, his free hand coming up to caress your cheek and tilt your chin up. “I know.” Once he was confident that you didn’t feel like you had to apologize for your feelings, he continued, his gaze never wavering from yours. “You are so not boring. Darlin’, the things you do may not come with the visible rewards and medals, but that doesn’t make them any less worthwhile.”

“But--”

“No buts. Your accomplishments are just as big as mine.” He nudged your nose with his. “Since we met, you have done so much and grown so much. I am so proud of everything you’re becoming. I should tell you that more often.”

The last thing you wanted was for him to feel like he wasn’t doing enough for you. “No, Jake, you don’t--” 

“I should. I will,” he insisted quietly. “I want you to see how amazing you are.”

“You’re always wonderful to me. It’s not your fault my brain is dumb.”

“It’s no one’s fault,” Jake said with a shrug, taking hold of your hand and fiddling with your ring. “I just happen to love you, and I very much enjoy showing you just how much.” His voice roughened at the end, dropping into a familiar low register.

You giggled when he rolled the two of you over, pinning you beneath him as the tension finally seeped out of you. He always seemed to know how to bring you back to yourself. Jake beamed down at you as you laughed, propped up on his elbow. You reached up to trace the side of his face and the smile softened, just a touch.

Then you pushed yourself up so you could kiss him. He kissed you back fiercely, fanning a flame that always burned within you. When he pulled back, it was only for a moment, and then he dipped down to kiss his way down your neck and across your collarbones. Your fingers wound through his hair as your back arched up into him.

“Jake,” you groaned, utterly breathless. No matter how many years you had spent together, he could always take you apart so effortlessly.

He returned to your lips, murmuring your name in the same tone. “Let me love you tonight, baby.”

“Your wish is my command, Commander Seresin.” You winked at him

“Y’know, I’m liking that promotion more and more.”

[fanficshiddles]

Eternally Mine, Chapter 32

Loki was concerned as to why Toshi was at his place. He stepped aside to let her in, she did seem a little troubled. Though she wasn’t panicked, so he tried not to panic.

‘What’s wrong?’ He asked with a frown as he motioned to the living room, they headed through and Spencer looked confused.

‘Before I go into anything, Claire and Jessica are fine.’ Toshi said firstly.

Though Loki looked alarmed and Spencer shot up to his feet. ‘What? What happened?’ He asked.

‘I said, they’re fine.’ Toshi said again, calmly. ‘I was out in the city earlier, tracking down some hunters and keeping an eye. I came across one that was spying on them from a building near the venue. I attacked him and tried to get information out of him, but he wouldn’t tell me anything. Kept calling me all the names under the sun for betraying fellow hunters.’ Toshi scoffed.

Loki and Spencer sat down, eyes wide at the thought of their girls being hunted.

‘Do you know they were definitely the targets? What did you do to him?’ Loki asked.

‘I killed him, so don’t worry about him trying again. I think it’s a very high chance that it was Claire and Jessica he was after, considering they were directly in his line of sight and I didn’t recognise any other vampires in the queue.’ Toshi said as she sat down next to Bat on the other sofa.

‘Fuck. I need to get to Claire!’ Loki stood up abruptly and was about to leave, but Toshi quickly stopped him.

‘It’s ok. Chris is watching over them as a bat, they’re likely at the after party now. I called him once I killed the hunter, since I couldn’t exactly get into the venue to watch over them myself. I couldn’t put poor Severus through the torture of ABBA music, as he gets that enough as it is. Plus, I knew you two had been drinking.’

Loki hesitantly sat down again and ran a hand down his face. ‘Shit… Do you think the hunters were mainly after Jessica, or Claire, too?’

‘I’m not sure. That one that threatened you about partners has been niggling at me.’ Toshi said.

‘We don’t know for sure though, maybe they were just after Jessica mainly.’ Spencer suggested, trying to make Loki feel a bit better, though it didn’t really work.

‘We need to get the training started for Claire and Louise asap, huh?’ Loki asked Toshi.

She nodded. ‘Definitely. How about Monday, at my place?’

‘Why not Saturday?’ Loki asked.

‘Do you really think Chris will let Louise do it the day after her first bite?’ Toshi asked knowingly.

‘Ah, yeah. I forgot about that. Maybe Monday would be best. It is a bank holiday, I guess.’

‘That’s why I suggested it.’ Toshi smirked.

‘Do you want a drink?’ Loki offered.

‘As long as I’m not crashing your bloke’s night?’ Toshi asked.

‘Nah it’s all good.’ Loki chuckled. ‘We need to confirm with Chris anyway about Monday, guessing he will come back with them when they’re all danced out.’

‘I think so.’ Toshi nodded.

Loki disappeared to the kitchen to get Toshi a drink.

‘Do you really think the hunters are after Claire as well?’ Spencer asked quietly.

Toshi nodded. ‘After one of them commenting about going after the vampire’s partners to Loki at the ball, now this, I’m sure of it. I don’t think it’s a coincidence the hunter was there. How they knew that they’d be there though, that’s what I need to find out.’

‘It is worrying.’ Spencer nodded in agreement.

Loki returned with a drink for Toshi. They talked a bit more about the hunters and upping security again, keeping an eye on the city as much as they could.

It wasn’t that long after Toshi had arrived that they heard a commotion from outside the door. Lots of giggling, clumsy banging, and the door-handle rattling a bit.

‘That’s them back then…’ Spencer chuckled.

Loki went to open the door, smirking in amusement. Claire was looking through her handbag, but her face lit up when she saw Loki.

‘Vampyyyyy! I can’t find my keys.’ She yelled and fell forwards to him, he caught her in his arms.

‘You forgot to take your keys, that’s why. Besides, the door wasn’t even locked, love.’ He laughed.

They then heard the sound of wings fluttering, followed by an exasperated sigh. Jessica spun around, albeit a very delayed reaction and put her arms up as if she was about to do kung foo. Though when she saw it was just Chris, she relaxed.

‘Oh, it’s you.’

‘I need to burn my eyes out and my ears.’ He sighed.

‘Not enjoy the show, huh?’ Toshi asked from behind Loki with a smirk.

Chris narrowed his eyes at Toshi and mouthed ‘You’re so dead for this.’

‘Wait whaaaat? Chris was at the show?’ Claire asked, trying to catch up with the conversation.

Loki chuckled and pulled Claire inside. ‘Come on in all. We will explain.’

Loki fetched a big glass of water for Claire, then pulled her down next to him as he sat down. Jessica had already draped herself all over Spencer and plopped onto his lap.

Toshi and Chris sat down on the other sofa. Chris sank back with a groan. ‘Hopefully Severus turns you soon, so you can do your own bat spying next time.’ He muttered to Toshi.

‘I thought it would do you good to get some proper music culture.’ Toshi smirked.

Chris elbowed her in response.

‘What’s the goings on?’ Jessica asked as she looked between everyone.

‘A hunter was after you, stalked you to the club and was waiting for the show to finish.’ Chris started.

Claire sobered up rather quickly at that. She straightened up and looked at Loki, eyes wide.

‘He was after Jessica… I took him out before he had a chance to do anything.’ Toshi interjected quickly and gave Chris a side glare.

‘Chris then kept an eye on you both for safety.’ Loki said softly as he squeezed Claire’s side.

‘You were watching us?’ Jessica asked Chris.

Chris nodded. ‘You are both awful dancers, by the way. Never give up your day job.’ He teased.

Loki and Spencer chuckled, earning glares from their respective girls.

‘Ah you’re just jealous that you can’t dance like that to your kind of music.’ Claire scoffed, then nuzzled in closer to Loki, her head against his chest.

‘So, was it just the one hunter?’ Jessica asked.

‘Yeah, there was no sign of another.’ Toshi confirmed.

‘We’re going to need to be extra cautious just now.’ Spencer said, and Jessica nodded in agreement.

‘We’ve decided that you and Louise need to start training ASAP. Just to be on the safe side. So, the first session is going to be Monday, since it’s a holiday.’ Loki told Claire as he tilted his head to look at her and gave her arm a gentle squeeze.

Though he was met with silence, her face was against him so he couldn’t see if she was awake or not. With the way her breathing was deeper, he could tell she had passed out.

‘Geez, how much did you guys drink?’ Spencer asked, laughing.

‘Uh… I lost count after the fourth pitcher.’ Jessica hummed and tapped her lower lip.

‘I saw an unholy amount of shots crossing the bar, too.’ Chris commented.

Loki face-palmed. ‘I get the feeling Claire is going to be pulling a sicky tomorrow.’

Chris, Toshi, Spencer and Jessica didn’t stay for much longer, since Loki wanted to get Claire to bed. Spencer and Jessica flew home, even if Jessica’s flying ability was slightly off, she managed ok with Spencer guiding her.

Toshi started walking home and Chris walked with her for a bit.

‘You know you don’t need to walk me home, I’m quite capable of protecting myself.’ Toshi smirked at him.

‘Oh I know you are, but who says it’s you I’m protecting, hmm? Maybe I’m making sure you don’t go chasing after any innocent hunters.’ He smirked back at her.

Toshi rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. ‘Innocent hunters... Is there such a thing?’

Chris chuckled. ‘I don’t think so. Though I know you once thought there was no such thing as innocent vampires. There must be hunters out there that are only after the bad ones, surely?’

Toshi sighed. ‘There used to be. Now though, I think they’re all just after every and any vampire they can get... I don’t think Claire and Louise should find out that they’re potentially targets too.’

‘I guess not. I suppose it would just worry them unnecessarily.’ Chris nodded.

‘Do you want me to watch over the school this week, just in-case?’ Toshi asked as they reached the suburbs of the city.

‘If you have time and don’t mind, it might not be a bad idea.’ Chris nodded. ‘I’ve got a lot of paper work to do over the next couple of days, so knowing you’re watching over the place would help me focus.’

‘No problem.’ Toshi nodded. ‘You can head home now.’

‘You sure? You are only human, after all.’

‘You just asked me to watch over the school, do you think I won’t manage to get home safely?’ Toshi folded her arms over her chest and grinned at him.

Chris scowled at her and huffed. ‘See you tomorrow.’ He mumbled and turned on his heels to head away.

‘Thanks for escorting me, hound dog!’ Toshi called after him. He responded by giving her the middle finger over his shoulder.

Toshi continued her way home down the country roads, she didn’t fail to notice and hear that a bat was following her from in the sky above.

‘Definitely turning soft.’ She said to herself as she turned up her path, noticing the bat flew off once she was home.

'I'm hooooome!' Toshi called out as soon as she stepped inside.

'Hello, love.' Severus purred from behind her, he'd been waiting behind the door.

'Did you hear me coming?' Toshi giggled as he embraced her once she had her coat off.

'Yes. Who escorted you home? I heard wings.' He asked, tucking her under his chin.

'Chris did. I think he's getting softer in his old age.' Toshi teased.

'Good.' Severus chuckled.

'Good? I can take care of myself walking home.' She frowned and looked up at her soulmate.

'Oh I know you are more than capable, but it makes me feel better knowing others are looking out for you. Especially Chris, with him being an original.'

'I guess so. Well, if it makes you feel better, then that's fine with me.' She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, he dipped his head down and they kissed softly.

[auspicioustidings]

What would the 141s college degrees be if they went to school

Ok so a bit of a change to prompt, but I think Soap and Gaz go to university while Price and Ghost go to college. For context college here is further education while university is higher education (eg uni is degree level).

Soap has got to be some sort of chemistry mechanics dual degree and not one person actually knows that. Like he's a bit of a party boy, on the football team and generally comes off as super laid back so nobody would guess that he is absolutely top of his class in a very difficult course. The uni ran their first mini highland games purely because they knew anything that he was doing in a kilt was going to do well and it outperformed expectations because the chance to see John MacTavish caber toss was not something anyone was passing up.

He knows Gaz because they are on the football team together. He is the opposite of Soap, everyone assumes he is doing some super technical degree because he is just so clever, but he's actually nowhere near the sciences and is somewhere in the literature department. He put the Scots poetry module to good use and was a menace for a semester with how he kept making Soap blush by coming out these beautiful romantic lines in Scots.

The archnemesis of the football team in this uni the rugby team in the college that has a campus right next to theirs because both teams do massively well. Is part of it because Soap and Gaz bristle when they hear people fawning over Riley and Price instead of them? Maybe a little. They think it's ridiculous, football is the superior sport to them and they hate that at their games some people are wearing rugby shirts thinking it's still showing support because the uni and college are the same area. It's even worse because Riley and Price do not view them as the rivals for fame and adoration that they should! They are always really nice to them and come watch their games and Simon keeps offering to spot for Soap when they're in the gym and Price brings Gaz soup when he's sick :(

Ghost is doing hairdressing. This is fully from one throwaway comment from Tommy (he cuts his brothers hair) that he's good at it and he wishes he could do Beth's because her salon trips cost a fortune and while she loves getting her hair done she doesn't do it often because of that. Simon Riley is such a fucking family man that he runs with that, thinking nothing of dropping all the time and money required just so he can make his sister in laws day a little better. And if he can do his mums hair as well? Even better.

Price is doing a bunch of night classes for woodworking and welding. He owns his own place where he runs classes but likes to make sure he keeps up to date with any new techniques by attending new courses when they pop up. He's a favourite of the college because he's been doing that for years and has taught a couple of workshops for them. His workshops have a massive waiting list.

Ghost and Price are laid back and on the rugby team because they enjoy the game. They see Soap and Gaz as these hot-headed young men with a lot of heart and are oblivious to the fact that while they view them as mates, Soap and Gaz think there is a bitter rivalry happening. After all Gaz always let's Simon practice on his hair and he seems to enjoy it? Like he always sighs in such contentment when he's getting his hair washed. And Soap has started attending Price's home shop for some classes! Although Price is sort of confused because the man doesn't seem to be paying attention half of the time to the actual project he is supposed to be doing (of course he isn't, he's busy going bright red anytime Price rolls his sleeves up).

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I played romance Louis/save Violet for the first time (and last) in my life some days ago and I really didn't expect the game to feel so different without him. Not is his absence only extremely notorious but to quote one of your old posts, the game won't shut up about him.

EVERY SINGLE TIME. They didn't mention Violet even half the times they did with Louis, and it just feels. Awful. Constant reminder that you left him get taken, that he's being tortured and traumatized. It really did hit different, I wanted to think about all the details for Violet's route but I couldn't. THEY KEPT BRINGING HIM UP LIKE OK !! I GET IT !! I KNOW, IM COMING TO HIS RESCUE

and in the end I ended up getting mad Violet suddenly forgot about his existence. I remember you talked about that a lot but since I hadn't experienced it I hadn't realized how bad it was.

When she didn't mentioned him even ONCE, not in the cells, not in the walk home back to Ericson, nothing.

But back to Louis– the game says Louis' name over and over and it makes me feel guilty and I don't like it

That route haunts my nightmares.

When I used to stream, we called the romance Louis/save Violet [+don't trust AJ] route The Despair Route.... you can probably guess why. You're right, the whole thing hits differently when you've built up Clementine's romance with him, only for him to be taken away. Plus, when you do that, your relationship with Violet isn't as strong so not only do you miss out on a lot of Louis content, you miss out on Violet content for not romancing/best friending her.

And yeah, the game will not shut up about Louis when he gets taken. It's actually so fascinating, because Violet doesn't get mentioned nearly as much, so that begs the question of why? Y'know? I mean, we can look at Louis getting captured and conclude that they keep reminding us about him so that we're extra hurt and guilty when we find him in the cells.

But then with Violet? Louis is the one who brings her up most of the time, except when Ruby pulls out her file. But it's odd that the others don't make more comments like they do with Louis. I think we are kind of meant to forget about her? Well, okay, not forget about her but like... The fact that they don't talk about her as much makes her feeling pissed off, forgotten and abandoned all the more powerful, no?

As for Violet forgetting about him, in my opinion that's just a genuine flaw with the writing... because Violet would ask about Louis. I've played her romance route. I believe that in my heart of hearts that she would, and when she doesn't, I'm like ?????

Sure, you can say she's got her mind on other things, or that Aasim already told her what happened to Louis so she doesn't ask when they're in the cells... except she would ask if he's okay.

They're different characters who react to things differently, and that's not inherently good or bad.... but you're seriously going to tell me that the only thing Violet's says to Louis is a sad little, "Lou..." when meeting up with him on the beach? and then she only makes a minor mention of him when talking about pushing people away on the walk home?

No, sir. I think not. I think that's an oversight, especially if you're trying to sell their friendship in her route.

But I suppose in her defense, if you're a Louis fan, you're more likely to be angry about it. We're used to Louis mentioning Violet and then to see her not do the same isn't great. Whereas a Violet fan who prefers her route is more likely to justify why and how it makes sense, y'know? In fact, if a Violet fan plays Louis' route, they probably get mad that she's "forgotten" about a lot prior to the cells so I suppose it balances out?

Also, can I add for both routes how much I side eye the fact that captured Louis/Violet say nothing about the other if they died on the bridge? I get they didn't want to be a downer on the happy ending, and that time has passed so they probably already mourned......... but c'mon. I know Louis can't verbalize but he can write, he can stand by Violet's grave, something. Violet could've said something. Listen, if you're gonna make me suffer through that, give me some of the angst I actually want.

[runnning-outof-time]

Birmingham | Tommy Shelby x Reader (Part 14)

Previous Part

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: Tommy holds a meeting with two IRA men; that (Y/N) ends in a similar way to their very first time meeting each other. An onlooker of this meeting shares the last bit of information they have up their sleeve, which may change the course of things completely.

Warnings: language, mentions of drinking, violence (typical to series), weapons, character death

Word Count: 3725

A/N: it was a bunch of fun putting my own twist on one of my favorite scenes from s1 (I’m sure you can tell which one by the gif)…I’m really happy with how this one turned out and I can’t wait to share how the rest of the story will unfold with you! Enjoy! :)

A/N 2: Italicized words are taken directly from the show.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Comment/Message me if you’d like to be tagged!

...I'm getting worried about his actions, (Y/N). Your father's usually able to level him out, but he's even been going against him now. I worry about what will happen next... These three sentences kept repeating through (Y/N)'s mind as she made her way to the Garrison. The letter from her mother was unexpected, and now the contents of it were making her stomach turn nonstop with worry.

The Garrison soon came into view, and she took a deep breath to try and steady herself so that she could focus on the job she'd have to do. Harry greeted her with a friendly smile and immediately put her onto tasks that needed to get finished. She was happy for this, because she wanted the happenings in Sheffield to be the furthest thing from her mind.

—

The day had gone surprisingly fast. (Y/N) was thankful that she was busy. She hadn't thought about the ending of her mother's letter since she'd arrived at the tavern. Her shift had a few more hours left to it, and she was trying to think of what to do afterwards to ensure that the letter's contents still stayed out of her thoughts. Maybe she'd go to Ada's.

"(Y/N), are you in here?" Tommy's hurried words came from the hallway that led to the stockroom, breaking (Y/N) from her planning and making her turn to face the door.

"Yeah, I am," she answered as his figure became visible in the doorway. She noticed his frantic temperament, and immediately became worried by it. "What's wrong?" she was almost afraid to ask.

"Good. I need you to leave," he told her, his words coming out as quick as his first statement did.

(Y/N) furrowed her brows at him. "What do you mean? My shift's not finished for another few hours," she pointed out.

Tommy stepped inside the room then, moving closer to her so that he could talk in a lower voice. "I have two men coming to meet me later. They're interested in some guns that I have in my possession. It'd be better if you'd just leave," he told her, his eyes wide as he explained what was happening.

"I..." she was unable to say anything else before he cut her off.

"Please, (Y/N)," he looked at her with serious eyes, "please don't fight me on this."

She looked at him for a moment, studying his face as she let his pleads sink in. "O...ok. Do you want me to leave now?" she asked hesitantly, the intensity he was exuding at the moment making her shrink into herself slightly.

"Yes," his answer was quick, and he was almost out the door the second he finished speaking. He stopped and turned back to her before leaving completely, "thank you," he added, a slight bit of relief present in his words now. (Y/N) smiled and nodded at him before he exited the stockroom and made his way down the hall.

She waited a few moments to exit the room, listening until the sound of his footsteps faded out, meaning that he was far enough away. There weren't many people in the main area of the bar as she walked through it to the doors. I guess I'm going to Ada's now, she thought to herself as she began walking down the street with that destination in mind.

——

"This is a surprise," Ada remarked when she opened the door to see (Y/N) standing on the other side of it, "what are you doing here in the middle of the day?" she asked, eyeing the woman standing across from her suspiciously.

"I can't just come and visit my friend?" (Y/N) answered with a question of her own. Ada's look still remained, which made (Y/N) sigh. "Don't worry...your brother hasn't sent me here or anything," she assured the other woman, which made her quizzical look dissipate.

The slightest smile formed on Ada's face as she opened the door wider for (Y/N) to enter the apartment. "Karl's sleeping at the moment," she informed her friend, motioning to the bassinet in the corner of the room.

"How have things been?" (Y/N) asked as the two women sat down on the couch, a smile on her face as she craned her neck to take a peek at the sleeping baby.

"They've been fine," Ada answered, a slight sigh escaping her lips, "it's been tough not having Freddie around, but I'm managing."

(Y/N) nodded knowingly, a sympathetic smile on her face. She looked down at her clasped hands then, wondering if she should wait a bit or rip off the bandaid. "Tommy wasn't the one who gave Freddie away," she blurted out then. I guess we're ripping off the bandaid.

Ada's eyebrows furrowed in response before she spoke, "what do you mean?"

"I went with Polly to the Garrison that night. She blamed Tommy for getting Freddie taken away. I wanted to tell you that it wasn't him who did it," (Y/N) explained.

"Who was it then?" was Ada's next question.

"Grace," (Y/N) answered almost as soon as Ada was done speaking. She let it sink in for a moment before continuing, "she was the one who told Campbell your address. She got it when she came with me; when I extended the invite to the wedding."

"Fucking hell," Ada mumbled, looking up at the ceiling as she exhaled a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Ada," (Y/N) felt the need to apologize, "had I known her intentions, I never would have..."

"Don't apologize, (Y/N). This isn't in any way your fault," Ada put a pin in the other woman's apology before she could even finish it. "Does Tommy know this?" she asked then, her eyebrows raised.

"No," (Y/N) shook her head, "I didn't get the chance to tell him yet. I would have today, but he rushed me out of the Garrison before my shift was finished. I told Polly though...she said she'd think of a way to handle it."

"Telling Pol was the right move," Ada agreed with the choice, nodding her head to show her approval. "Tommy rushed you out of the Garrison?" she asked then, a mixture of surprise and confusion present in her voice.

"Yeah. He said he had a meeting with two men later today...that they were interested in some guns that he has," (Y/N) recounted the brief conversation, "he seemed rather frantic about it," she included, mentioning the detail that stuck out to her.

"Bloody hell, Tommy," Ada breathed, sighing as she hung her head, "he's going to get himself killed."

"What do you mean?" (Y/N) was confused by Ada's response.

"Polly's told me that those guns are stolen...and that's the reason why Campbell is here. He's trying to get them back. Pol told him to dump them in the Cut, but he obviously hasn't listened."

"You're joking," (Y/N) gasped, her eyes wide at Ada's admission.

"I'm not," Ada shook her head, her tone serious.

"He is going to get himself killed," (Y/N) agreed with the previously made statement. "What can I do to stop him?" she asked then, a mixture of anxiousness and determination present in her words. She stood from the couch before anything else was said, a sense of urgency in her movements.

"You're not going to be able to stop him, (Y/N)," Ada told her before she could take a step.

"I can at least tell him how stupid he is for arranging this meeting," (Y/N) didn't let the comment deter her, and she made her way to the door before anything else could be said.

The ladies said a quick goodbye to each other before (Y/N) exited the apartment and started off for the Garrison. She probably got some looks from passersby as she hurried her way to the tavern, but she couldn't care. She had to give Tommy a piece of her mind.

—

"Are you out of your mind, Tommy?!" she exclaimed the second she walked through the Garrison's doors. Tommy was the only person in the tavern, and he was standing behind the bar with a bottle of whiskey in front of him.

"I told you to go home, (Y/N)," he responded, keeping his voice level as he moved around the bar to stand in front of her.

"You can't let this meeting happen," she ignored his statement, staying focused on her own.

"It's happening. You need to leave," he diverted her again.

"I'm not letting you do it alone then," she insisted, crossing her arms over her chest as she stood her ground.

Tommy sighed as he heard her answer. He couldn't have this happening right now...the men were set to arrive at any moment. "(Y/N), no. I'll be fine," he tried again to get her to leave. Of course he couldn't promise that he'd be fine. These men were notorious for going to any length to ensure they got what they wanted.

"I'll stay here to see it through then," she still held her ground.

"Fuck," Tommy breathed, unhappy that she hadn't listened to him. He was fine with the potential of things going sideways for him, but her sticking around had thrown a wrench into his stoic plans. "Ok..." he started, looking at her again, "you're going to stay in the back..." he paused again, retrieving the revolver from the holster under his jacket, "take this and wait for me to come back to you. You don't come out at all, understand?" he spoke seriously to her, wanting her to realize the severity of the situation.

"Ok," she nodded her head, swallowing as she processed her directions. She took the weapon and held it to her chest, immediately feeling the heaviness of it.

"Go," he nodded to the archway then, and she nodded before wordlessly turning and going to where he'd told her to.

The sound of the main door opening was heard not long after she'd gotten into the hallway, and it was followed by Tommy greeting two men, who sounded to be Irish. (Y/N) wondered for a moment if maybe they secretly worked for Campbell. She kept the gun clutched to her chest as she strained to listen in on the conversation, her heart hammering in her ears.

Time passed by agonizingly slowly, or at least it felt like it with the pauses that came between each abrupt statement. Then, two statements came that made (Y/N)'s hair stand on end:

"Did you think we'd let you live?"

"Make your peace, Mr. Shelby."

(Y/N) didn't wait around for Tommy to say anything in response. She knew what sound would follow next. So she rushed out from the hall with the gun held steady in her hands. It took her only a moment to locate the other weapon, and she made quick work at cocking the hammer and firing, striking the target she'd been locked on with ease.

Tommy's hands flew up in the air upon hearing the shot ring out. It took him a moment to realize that it'd come from behind him, and when he did, he spun back to the other man and flipped the table out of the way so that he could lunge at him. In the chaos, the other man had pulled out a gun, and he was fully intending on using it.

(Y/N) saw this as well, and she cocked the hammer of her revolver back with the intent on firing again. She waited for Tommy to swing the man to the side so that she'd have a clear shot, but when he did, the gun misfired. "Shit," she breathed, panic starting to rush over her. She looked down at the weapon and fumbled with it for a few moments before looking back up at the scuffle that was happening a few feet away from her.

Tommy and the man were still fighting over the gun, and it seemed as though neither were letting up. She continued to fumble with her weapon, looking down at it again. She felt a sharp pain emanate from her temple the second she glanced down at her weapon, and she was knocked over from the force of whatever hit her. It took a few moments for her to focus again, but when she did, she saw that Tommy was now on top of the man and that he was repeatedly striking his head with a bucket. She flinched each time that he struck the man. It was obvious to her that he was stuck in some sort of loop.

"Tommy!" she was able to muster out, hoping that her calling his name would break him out of it. Things were getting more gruesome by the second.

Thankfully her voice worked in breaking him out of his focus and thereby stopped his actions. He dropped the bucket to the ground and began taking deep breaths as he tried to level himself out again. After a few moments, he turned to look at (Y/N), who was still sitting on the floor; propped up against the bar.

He slowly rose to his feet, his eyes not leaving (Y/N)'s. As he stood, (Y/N) did the same, using the bar to steady herself as she felt another rush of pain on the side of her head. Tommy was still breathing heavily as he made his way over to her. She was stuck in her spot, still trying to process everything that had happened.

"Why'd you come out here?" Tommy asked once he stopped in front of her, still almost breathless, "why'd you shoot?"

"They were going to kill you, Tommy. I wasn't going to let that happen," she answered, her voice shaky, "and I would have killed the second man but the gun misfired and I tried but I couldn't get it to go, and...I..." her words began to waver with each one she said, and Tommy didn't wait for her to finish her statement before he pulled her into him, hugging her tight against his body.

"It's ok now, love...I've got you," he said to her, his voice right next to her ear as he held her for as long as she needed him to. Their embrace lasted for a few moments before he pulled away and rested his one hand against the back of her neck. He searched her eyes for a moment before exhaling a shaky breath, "now you've seen me," he said to her.

This statement was vague, but she knew exactly what he meant. "You've already seen me," she answered him, calling back to the very similar situation they'd been in months ago when she'd first arrived in Small Heath. "There can't be another time like this, Tommy," she breathed then, tears stinging her eyes as she kept them locked on his.

"There won't be," he told her, an assured tone laced into his words. He couldn't quite promise that to her though...not with the nature of the families that they both belonged to. She was safe now though, and that was all that mattered. He pulled her back into his arms, holding her tight against his chest as he felt her breathing slow back down to normal.

"I...I need to tell you something, Tommy," she whispered to him, several different things swirling through her mind just as the sound of the doors opening was heard.

Tommy pulled away from her and turned to see the three coppers that were standing by the door. "You were supposed to come on the sixth chime...you were supposed to come on the sixth fucking chime!" he yelled at the men, who seemed to be completely unfazed by the scene that was laid out in front of them. He then leaned back against the bar as he looked up at the ceiling, retelling his version of what had gone down. He couldn't bear to look at what had been done...never did he think he'd go back to a place like that again in his mind.

One of the coppers then made a comment about the condition of the scene before telling Tommy that it'd be swept under the rug.

"Get the bodies out of here," Tommy spoke in a monotone voice as he stared at the far wall.

"Alright...are they making the lady uncomfortable?" the copper questioned, cracking a grin as he looked in (Y/N)'s direction. He looked at her for a moment before focusing on Tommy again, "I'll leave you two love birds to it then, eh?" he got one last comment in before turning and giving orders to the two men standing behind him.

Tommy dropped his head and sighed once the conversation finished. He kept his head hung for a few moments, squeezing his eyes shut tight as he tried to compose himself. After taking a few leveling breaths, he looked at (Y/N) again. "Let me walk you home," he said to her, and she responded with a nod before finally taking a step from the spot she was standing in so that she could fall in beside him.

—

Grace Burgess 'just so happened' to have let herself in through the side door of the Garrison earlier that afternoon. She had Arthur to thank for the access to the door...he'd given her the keys when she'd agreed to take on looking his books over. She managed to get into the back office undetected and overheard Tommy and (Y/N)'s initial conversation about the meeting that was happening that night. Of course she was going to stick around and find out what the meeting was about; she was still searching for information about the guns after all.

She somehow managed to stay under the shroud of darkness that the office provided as - surprisingly to her - (Y/N) came back into the hallway after a brief conversation with Tommy. She listened into the meeting that was being held in the main room while keeping a close eye on the actions of the other woman standing in the hallway. It would have been over for her if she'd get found out. She hid when the gunshots rang out, and stayed in place until things were quiet again.

It was then that she decided to creep her way to the end of the hallway to see what had happened. The sight she was greeted with shocked her: Tommy and (Y/N) were embracing; holding onto each other like their lives depended on it. A pang of emotion rushed through her as she saw this. Maybe this was why she had come and confronted her the other day. Either way, she knew exactly what she had to do now.

She waited until the two were cleared out before she also exited the tavern, making her way to the place she told Campbell that she'd meet him that evening.

It was no surprise that he was already sitting on a bench when she arrived at the park. "What do you have for me?" he asked, standing up as she approached.

"The location of the guns," she didn't even try to dance around it, "I believe that they're being kept in the graveyard; beneath the headstone of a man who is not dead."

"And you're sure?" Campbell raised his eyebrows.

"I am," Grace nodded definitively, swallowing harshly before continuing, "I only ask that you don't go after Tommy for this once you find them," she added to her initial statement, her words making Campbell's eyes widen.

"Why not?" he was quick to ask her.

The image of Tommy and (Y/N) embracing at the Garrison flashed in her mind before she spoke again, "he's not the one who's decided to keep the guns," she explained her reasoning, blinking rapidly as she looked away from the man in front of her. She just couldn't meet his eyes as she said this for the fear that he'd see right through her.

"If the Shelby's aren't to blame, then who is?" Campbell was quick with another question, a demanding tone laced his voice, "are you telling me we've been on the wrong trail this entire time?"

Grace looked at him momentarily as she contemplated taking this lie further. His expectant gaze practically sealed it for her; there was no way she could get out of it now. "A woman named (Y/N) (Y/L/N) is holding them. She has family in Sheffield...they've been keeping the guns here," she blurted out as many details of (Y/N)'s backstory as she could in hopes that it would add more credibility to the situation, "she's the one you need to go after," she finished by looking at him again, hoping that her straight faced expression would seal the deal.

Campbell pursed his lips as he mulled over this new information. He hadn't heard of this woman before, but his desire to close this case and find the missing guns certainly kept him open to the possibility. Grace hadn't led him astray before.

——

"The name my informant gave me was (Y/N) (Y/L/N). This person said that she lives in a rented apartment here in Small Heath and has been in town for roughly around the same time as these guns have been missing. She's got connections in Sheffield; they could be needing these guns for leverage there," Campbell rattled off this newfound news to one of his subordinates the following day.

He made sure to leave Grace as anonymous, but happily dished out the information that he had gathered about (Y/N) in hopes that it would help as they got themselves ready to take on this new target. There was a sense of delight within him now as this was going to be way easier than he expected it'd be. How hard could it be to take down a woman?

Unbeknownst to him, as he continuing with his rattling, was that Sargent Moss had been listening in to the entire conversation. The senior police officer's interest had been struck when the guns were brought up, but he really started listening when (Y/N)'s name was brought into the conversation.

He even started writing notes down, knowing that they'd prove useful to Polly Gray, who he'd be meeting up with later to share all of this information with. She came to him wanting concrete proof, and now she was going to get it.

Next Part

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SERIES MASTERLIST

[hannya-writes]

Hi darling! How are you? How have you been? I'm new to your account and saw that you're requests are open. So, could I request angst to fluff for Nicolas Brown finding his girlfriend injured very badly because of some gang that he fought in the last two days and then he beats them or kills them(you can either choose) and when he comes back he's gentle and soft with his girlfriend

Thank you so much!! Have a lovely day/night!!

Title: Hurt and Heal

Fandom: Gangsta

Pairing: Nicolas Brown x Reader

Other characters: Worrick, Alex.

Category: Romance, Angst, Request.

Warnings: This is a Request but I got a bit carried away because I wanted to paint a whole picture(?), There is no violence showed, but it is implied.

Author's note: I gotta thank the sweet Anon who asked for this, I hope you like it and I'm sorry things didn't come out as expected, if you don't like it you can request again and I'll write for you!

Situation: He founds you hurt after you got beaten by one of his enemies.

You met them because of work. You needed help with some home issues, like painting some rooms, getting some shelves in place, moving some heavy stuff, etc. And someone happened to mention Benriya. You ended up calling them and Alex was kind enough to appoint you on their tight schedule.

At first you were a little reluctant to mingle with them, I mean a man with a pirate patch, a woman with a beautiful curved body and then there was that other man, the one that seemed to be able to kill with a glance.

The first day you only left cold lemon water and sandwiches for them. However, the second day the man with the patch caught you with a question "where did you say you wanted this?" You became paralyzed. Worick turned to look at you and you gulped down your own saliva. 

You panicked ok? Worick was beautiful, his eye was so blue it was a crime, his hair glowed as if he had a halo, his voice was deep but melodical and his hands… why were you looking at his hands so much?

"Miss?" He asked worried and you snapped back into reality.

"Mrs, I am… I was married" instead of answering the question you corrected him "what was the question?" 

The other man used sign language and you were able to read his movements "she said by the side of the window, stop bothering her"

"It's no bother" you commented and suddenly all of the eyes were on you.

For the next couple of hours the handymen did their work as you spoke and signed for them, they were curious about your ability to use sign language so you explained to them that your mother was deaf and you learned to have quality time with her.

When they left that day your fear of them had disappeared completely.

The next day only Nicolas went to your home and there was not so much advancement in work since you kept telling stories about your family to Nico.

In only 4 days, everything was done, you paid the services and extended a special invitation to Nico "Come anytime, I'll be happy to have you" 

Worick is a little shit, the moment he saw you signing those words to Nicolas he started to create plans to make Nicolas go to see you.

Nina made a cake? Worick sent Nico to give you a slice.

Alex made some nice food? Guess who gets a taste?

They got an "extra" gun? Geez, you should have it! There's no such thing like being too careful!

What do you mean you don't know how to shoot? Nico can teach you! Only Nico would decline that idea since he's terrible with guns, so Worick will teach you but will also drag Nico to you.

"I'm a pacifist" you signed to Nicolas and he frowned to you.

"That's not good, Ergastulum is a dangerous place" he signed back and you made a pout.

"I know, but I don't want to hurt anyone" you told him and he signed quicker than before.

"Then you will get hurt, I rather you hurt someone than you getting hurt" his words made you blush.

"I've heard you are quite a good fighter? Why don't you do the hurting and I do the healing?" You proposed with a smile and he accepted after a minute of thinking.

Your relationship with the Twilight was slow but steady. When he wasn't going to visit you, he was working, when you weren't working you were studying with Dr. Theo about Twilight medicine.

You were almost never seen in the streets together, you two were careful. Very careful, especially since Worick worried about your safety.

Listen, Nico loves the fact that he can actually have a whole conversation with you. He knew he was in love since that day when you told him he could hurt and you will heal.

But of course he didn't say shit! He's afraid, he feels like he doesn't deserve to be happy and you deserve everything that is good in this world, so yeah! He's not confessing, there is nothing in this world that could make him confess. He would rather die than confess.

But then there's that call in the afternoon. Alex answered the phone but there was no one on the other side, she was about to hangout when she heard your voice in the distance, followed by the sound of things crashing.

Alex ran to tell Nicolas two words: your name and danger.

Nicolas didn't need to know anything else to start moving, he took every single shortcut to your house and got there in record time.

He had popped some cerebret and was ready to fight but when he arrived at your house you were the only one there, laying on the floor, in a puddle of your own blood with many cuts all over your body.

Nico panicked at that sight, thinking you were dead, his mind ran at 100 miles per second, he wanted revenge, he wanted to cry, he wanted to hold you, he questioned why had this happened to you and… your hand moved and so did your lips. He recognized the form of his nickname on your lips: "Nico"

And that simple move of your lips made his mind calm down, he took you in his arms and carried you to Dr. Theo.

Dr. Theo and Nina took care of you. He waited outside of the clinic, feeling useless, lost. His mind was planning on how he would deal with the person guilty of your state. Human or Twilight they were going to feel his rage, they were going to beg for forgiveness. He only needed you to point in the right direction.

Worick had to order Nico to get back home, to eat and even to take a bath since Nico only wanted to be by your side at all times. And surely, once Nico complied he went back to the clinic, to see you sleeping peacefully, unaware of all the injuries in your body.

"She'll be fine" Nina told him in sign language "She's still sleeping because of the medicine, don't worry"

"I like her" Nico answered "I wish I could not-worry but I do" he looked at your fragile form in bed.

"Really? I didn't notice" Nina mocked him and Nico growled lightly "She came all the way here to learn from Dr. Theo" she added and Nico frowned since you had never told him that.

"Why?" He asked and Nina looked at the twilight with a smile.

"She's a doctor in human medicine, but she wanted to learn about the twilight variations" said the young nurse "She wants to be able to heal everyone no matter if they are Twilights or humans" Nina's eyes suddenly widened with surprise and and Nico frowned confused only to then turn to see you awake on bed.

It only took you some more days to be able to use your hands to speak. And the first thing you said was a "Hello, Handsome" with your bandaged clumsy fingers.

Nico on the other hand asked about who had hurt you, why, how had things happened, etc.

So you explained everything, the banging on the door, the assault, how did those men looked like, everything you remembered was said to Nina who translated to Nico, since one of your hands got hurt.

Nico almost broke the chair he was using out of rage. He recognized those descriptions. Those were some little thugs that he had beaten before but had mercy on them. This time there was no mercy. No when they had hurt you and give you a message for him.

"You are not the only one who can beat people" when Nina signed those words Nico decided those men were going to have a horrible and very painful death.

"Nico you don't have to…" you tried to tell the twilight but he was looking away, he only turned back to you to hold your hand for a moment, a moment that at least from Nina's point of view was very romantic. Then he left.

Nico knew where to find them, he knew where they would be at that hour of the day. So he went there. He knew he should have told Worrick, but he didn't want to, this was personal.

The second he got there, he jumped over the culprits, katana in hand. With the first slash he cut down fingers. One of the three men tried to run away but got stabbed in the heels

Everyone in the bar left and Nico decided that he was going to make them pay for what they have done to you: an innocent, beautiful and kind woman.

When he got back to see you he has his shirt stained with blood. He was more relaxed, almost relieved since the thread had disappear. They couldn't hurt you anymore.

"Nico" you said as he walked your way and your expression went from casual to worried in a second. "Are you hurt?" You asked him and he looked at you with soft, caring eyes.

He sat on a chair by your side and caressed your good hand, putting a strand of your hair back behind your ear in a sweet manner, soothing you back to sleep.

"Can you get in bed with me?" You asked him and he read your lips. He hopped on the bed a little stiff at first, but then he practically melted and molded around you.

He is all soft and warm while he takes care of you, he gives you water and feeds you. He just stays there to help you

But then Worrick goes to the Clinic and takes Nico away, it's for work and you understand. The thing is: he doesn't goes back, even when Nina tells you you are free to go. 

For almost a Month you didn't see him. You asked about him many times but Nina always said the same "we haven't seen him" Bullshit! She was lying, you could feel it.

It took you some time, but with a lot of insistence Dr. Theo finally gave you their address, Nico's and Worrick's address! So you decide to go there.

You knocked at the door and Worrick opened, he was surprised to see you, he tried to cover all the space possible as he asked you about your recovery.

You are forced to push Worrick out of your way, only to see Nicolas sat on the couch with Alex straddling him, lips locked on a passionate kiss that leaves you without words.

You blush embarrassed and suddenly felt lost… you had all this unspoken feelings for Nicolas and you had only understood it after all the time you had lost touch with him. Only, only he was kissing another woman but not any woman, this was Alex Benedetto, the singer and secretary of Benriya.

It breaks your heart, you stutter an apology and leave in a hurry, feeling ridiculous. Why did you think you had something special? What had made you think Nico felt the same? It was laughable! You were only friends, nothing more. So why were you crying? 

"Asshole" Worrick signs to Nicolas right before Alex slaps him leaving a red mark in his cheek, which makes Nico growl in pain. "Y/n, She feels things for you" he adds as Alex leaves Nico's lap to go to the desk.

"I know" Nicolas confesses leaving out the words: "I feel things for her too", because he knows Worrick, he knows he would try to set them up if he admits his feelings.

Nicolas just wants to protect you, he just wants to save you from becoming a target for his enemies. Because if they know, if they get a grasp of what he feels for you they'll use you as a leverage. It's better if you stay away. You'll be safe that way.

He understood that in his last mission, as he fought and Worrick told him not to kill those humans. He wanted to kill them, be sure they would never get to you.

"Hey, we can't kill everyone" Worrick told him and Nico got mad.

"I will, I will kill everyone to get Y/n safe" he thought to himself and suddenly stopped in his tracks. He loved you. He loved your conversations. He loved that little tic of yours. He loved the way you saw him, how your stern and cold eyes melted as he was closer by.

He couldn't kill everyone, he couldn't guarantee your safety. No when he was closer. But if he wasn't there, you would be safe. 

"If you love someone let them go" Nico remembered reading something like that. He understood.

So when he smelled your perfume at the door and Worries answered, he panicked. He needed to push you away, and there was Alex reading a book. He snatched her from her place and put her in his lap, only to kiss her as if Alex were you. Slow, tender, passionate. He didn't saw you, he concentrated on the task at hand and got sure to break your heart.

[carica-ficus]

"Harrow the Ninth"

21/02/2024

Reading progress: 507/507 (100%)

Read through since last update: 157

Didn't think I'd cram the last part into one post, but here we are anyway. These last 150ish pages were... All over the place. In a good way!

Final notes:

Oh, there she is!!! Talk about a monster under the bed.

Ok, but how casual is that scene? I know something like that was coming (I've seen some fanart, but knew too little to know who it was about, just that Harrow and Ianthe would be peeking under the bed), but it's just so normal. I like it. Kinda eerie because it's not presented as scary.

Of course Ianthe didn't see it. Don't worry Harrow, I believe you.

Yeah, ok. It makes sense that Ortus was just fulfilling other to kill Harrow. His reasoning for it just wasn't strong enough. "You're a liability." Just like everyone else.

Oho! Here we go! Epiparodos! (Whatever that means.)

NUNLET??? 🥺🥺 That's such a cute word.

Ok, the lobotomy. Right. Also saw a fanart spoiler for it, totally forgot it was coming. I thought it was gonna happen later on? In any case. Ok. Yup. This happened.

Harrow NOVA. There we go. The other Harrow finally revealed by her full name. Though I applaud Muir, I haven't even noticed we never got her last name. Gorgeous and genius writing, through and through.

HAHAHAHAHAHA love how Harrow did the typical "I am small. Therefore, I will be a quick and murderous machine" but Muir decided to break up the cliché by saying she discovered that at the ripe age of 5. Man, I love this book. And I love Harrow as a character.

"What's that, you egg?"

Dying. 😂

Ok, gotta say, chapter 40 lost me.

I think... I got it? I might need to read the remaining pages for all of this to settle down, but this is much less complicated that I thought it would be.

What is the meaning of love if not sacrificing every single memory of a person in order to save them? 😭

Of course, it was not a dream. That would be too easy. The bubbles make perfect sense.

I know I said Ortus was annoying when quoting the Noniad, but I really like him as a character. And by that I mean how Muir has given him more depth and allowed him to grow. Which also made the scene where he hugs Harrow so impactful. 🖤

Ok, the Ortus thing was unexpected. And I'm excited to learn what it's all about.

But first. The Sleeper.

UGH! I love how considerate Gideon is with Harrow's body. Sure, she's a little awkward in it and puts out a dirty joke or two, but she's just trying to be respectful and useful. Also the way she's so worried over any and all her injuries, even though she knows they'll all heal? So fucking cute.

Protesilaus took Dulcinea in his care when she fell ill. That's so cute. 🥺

Oh, hell yes! Gideon stepped the fuck up. Time for Ianthe to meet her fucking match.

(I love how protective Gideon is ggghhhgghggh)

Man, I missed Gideon so much.

MATTHIAS NONIUS!!!!!!! :O

(Such a cool scene!!!!!)

You know what? After everything that happened, my reaction to finding out Gideon is God's daughter was just "Ok. Cool."

Cue John's corny dad joke. Love it.

Also I wouldn't have guessed they were related based on their eyes. Sure, John's eyes were mentioned multiple times, but they're silver and Gideon's are gold, so I wouldn't have put two and two together just by that. But! It fits. It's foreshadowed. It works. So yeah. Sure. Love it.

I knew it! I knew that he had a cavalier! I knew that he was a Lyctor! Hell yeah!

So much stuff happens at the end. I just kept on reading, without spending much time on commentating. I needed to know what happens and tbh, I have no idea what I just read. But that's okay! It was fun!

Ok, all in all, the book was spectacular. I liked it even more than I did Gideon. I liked how Muir handled Harrow's grief. I liked the reveals, the mysteries, the tension and the stakes. I liked the characters and I liked how Abigail got a lot more page time. I didn't even care about her in the first book, but now I really like her. I liked Ortus too!

Now, I'm still confused... About a few things. Primarily Harrow Nona. So I'll have to read an explanation or teo about it (or you can comment on the post if you'd like to help me out). Did... Harrow Nonangesimus kept watch and narrated over what Nona was doing? As in, she was dissociating from her body after the lobotomy and experiencing everything from a distance? Or was that all Gideon? Because I feel like it wasn't. Gideon's narration style is totally different and clearly comes out at the very end, but idk. I feel like I'm missing something here or that I'm not grasping something ridiculously simple.

Anyway, I'll be reading a little more about it, but yeah. "Harrow" is done, so I'll have to get my hands on Nona! In the meantime I'll be writing out my review. 🖤

[itsgonnagetinspiringsoon]

ok so i know i've literally never posted abt sanders sides before on this blog (i haven't been keeping up for a few years) but i've been tumbling down a waterslide lined with my old hyperfixations for the last few hours and ended up creating D&D au character designs for the core four sides using heroforge. images and descriptions under the cut if you're interested ❤ bonus points if you can guess what classes they are (this is EXTREMELY self-indulgent so pls forgive the ranting abt them, they're very important to me ok)

First up we have Roman! my beloved. one of my first questions when starting his design was how can i make him look as cunty as possible? the answer: heeled boots and winged eyeliner (It's a little tricky to see but he's got gold metallic eyeliner). I ADORE Roman's colour pallet so i kept it as close to accurate as i could, making white the base colour and accentuating it with the gold armor and the dramatic red shoulder cape as my stand-in for his sash. he's wielding a katana OF COURSE how could he not be. he's slaying ⚔ 🐉 and slaying 💅💋

moving on:

Patton. my baby, my honey, my ragtime gal. i decided to make his hair a little longer than roman's bc i thought it made him look softer and more approachable. it was UNBELIEVABLY hard to find something that sort of replaced his cardigan without looking too chunky but i did like this kind of loose tattered mantle, so i went with that. kept the sky blue shirt and gray cardigan/shawl, but gave him more greyish blue pants so they didn't blend into the shirt too much. glasses are round instead of square bc again i thought they made him look friendlier than the square ones. freckles bc i personally think freckles are very cute and patton is very cute so he got freckles. no shoes he's travelling the realms like the gods intended. the dad vibes are strong i want him to give me a hug 🥺

next up:

logan is quite possibly my favourite side so i really wanted to get his design right. the MOST important thing was giving him his iconic necktie, which ended up being pretty much the same color as his canon design. i couldn't give the tie specifically a pattern, so i made his vest stripy like his tie is in the show and i think it looks really good. his glasses are the more classic nerd ones which is perfect for him and i gave him black eyeliner bc i thought it made him look more serious. i added the coat for more of a d&d look (it doesn't make sense to traverse planes wearing a vest and tie) i think it gives him an extra bit of style that i love.

and last but not least:

the Anxious BoiTM himself (i've only had him for five minutes seven years but if anything happened to him etc etc). virgil's was one of the easiest designs aesthetically and hardest mechanically (you'll never guess what class he is guys i took some BIG swings). I knew i wanted him in black and purple (obviously) and i knew i wanted to give him the iconic purple hair dye and eyeshadow. i almost said screw the genre and put him in a zippered hoodie but i do think that a cloak and cowl would suit him very well (good for hiding in) and i found a combo that looked equally cosy and spooky. a bow is good for attacking long range and keeping out of danger (appropriate for anxiety, i thought) and the mask looks intimidating but actually helps him with sensory overload (with the cowl and mask on he's basically in a mini sensory deprivation bubble). an eyebrow ring bc he's edgy idk why honestly i thought it looked cool.

So that's basically it! As i said before if you can guess their respective classes i'll give you a cookie (🍪). since i can't draw, heroforge is usually my go-to for character creation and i have to recommend it (i think i talk abt this site a lot but 🤷‍♀️) it's so helpful for non-artist types like myself.

I hope you enjoyed! please leave comments if you liked they feed me (if you didn't like it, please just move on and don't let me know, i'm doing this for fun and i don't want any negativity please ❤) @thatsthat24 hope you like 🥰

[numericalbridge]

TOH rewatch semi-liveblog. Season 3 Episode 1

- tbh i don't know why i made a separate post for this episode instead of doing all three episodes of season 3 together, but i guess i rewatched this one separately, so here it is.

- Maybe i was in the wrong mood while i was rewatching it, but i didn't particulary enjoy it this time, even though on the first watch this episode was easily my second or third favourite episode of the whole series, and it made me very excited for the rest of season 3.

But this time, while i still appreciate Luz's and Camila's character development and backstory, and i still think it had utilized the limited time fairly well, and the montages were great, the episode overall wasn't really that enjoyable. Maybe it's because now i know how the rest of season 3 goes, and episode 2 was a great disappointment. And there is too much focus on Hunter - which would've been fine if the episode finalized his arc and then moved the focus to other important characters, like Gus, but knowing that this won't happen... really doesn't help the enjoyment.

- (Unless he was meant to sound sarcastic to help Luz see that their friends wouldn't do something like that) I am actually glad that the part from the storyboards with Hunter listing to Luz all the terrible things their friends would do to them if they knew their secrets was not included. It seemed too over the top for this stage of their friendship development, unfair towards Willow, Gus and Amity without time for any proper examination of it, and more in line with the fanon clueless woobie Hunter.

- yes, i forgot the word 'storyboards' so in my notes i was calling them 'frames'.

- The opening montage is so good though, a great way to convey the passage of time and show the interactions that couldn't have been fully included. I wish episode 2 did something similar with the Boiling Isles instead of everyone just becoming puppets. Music is great too.

- The other palismen looked at Flapjack like the grandpa was finally losing it.

- Camila's s3 design is so good. I don't think anyone can be 'hot' in toh's style, but interesting how she is barely ever included with the adults who are supposed to be hot, even though her design is so much more visually appealing than many others, and somehow there are more people who think Belos is hot (i wonder why😒)

- Willow helping with Hunter's haircut is actually cute. I disagree that it 'should've been Amity'. Yeah, Amity has the plot of changing her hair to reflect character development, but Willow's somewhat rocky path to become the witch she always wanted to be (as well as the half-a-witch plot) were connected to Hunter's story since ASIAS and has parallels with some of Hunter's identity issues in the episode.

- Hunter's haircut was also good, i wish he kept it. Idk why people were panicking about that.

- Wish we saw at least a little bit of Luz and Vee interactions even just in the montage. And i know Luz is isolating herself, but still would have been nice to have some at least background moments with Willow and Gus too, since she still gets moments with Amity and Hunter.

- But what i really dislike is that the show barely touches on Gus's feelings about missing his dad and the Boiling Isles (and, of course, what he did to help Luz and Hunter and how seeing Belos's memories could've affected him are the plot points that are completely ignored). He basically confesses that he is unhappy despite all the outwardly cheerfullness, and then the show never actually digs deeper. And it would've been OK for this episode to just throw some hints, if more was done with Gus's story later and if he wasn't sidelined since s1, and if the show didn't immediately jump back to Hunter in such an obvious way. And Gus then had to immediately cheer him up and introduce the Cosmic Frontier for his sake? It is so clear which character is prioritized.

- This is a minor thing compared to Gus's treatment, but i also lowkey hate Hunter's comment about Darius's stitches. I understand that expecting some actual meaningful dialogue about Darius was not realistic; and anyway, i would have preferred if Gus had the chance to talk about Perry instead. But it was an odd addition after Hunter seemed to worry about Darius in KT. Alongside that comment in the interview about Eda and Darius potential team-up (that made it clear that any team up was never intended which hinted that Darius original role was likely very limited - which on itself is OK, just a little disappointing), this moment really made it obvious that there would be nothing done with Darius later in the season, and that there was no plan to continue the narrative conflict from ASIAS, and i am still bitter (though at least there was a moment of Darius and Eber opposing the other Coven Heads in the finale, which was a nice touch).

- I actually like Amity in this episode, probably because for once she actively interacts with the other kids.

- Montage in the Gravesfield is also cool. The giraffe bit was funny.

- The kids welcoming Vee as their friend is cute, but the whole lampshading that Amity, Willow and Gus were not really friendly before, feels so off and manufactured. On the rewatch it seemed less insincere than the first time, but still it feels more like the response to the fan criticism - like, 'see actually this all was addressed, it's the audience who was impatient!' - rather that something included organically. If the writers really cared about their friendship or lack of it, they could've included just small moments prior to it, like Amity mentioning to Luz that she wished she knew how to befriend Gus, or Gus's opinion on the Willow and Amity situation.

- What i do love is that Willow is the one who gets the camera and makes the album, and that Camila was the one who gave it to her. Willow was the one who bottled up her feelings (and still does it) and was going by 'out of sight out of mind' motto, and was willing to burn her own memories in the mindscape because they were painful. And we saw her having her friends' photos before this, but here she starts to actively collect and cherish new memories of being together with her friends, and that's nice. And the Nuceda home is full of family pictures, so its also nice that Camila, despite her own problems and grief, got to help her. (And, look, it has barely anything to do with Hunter!)

- Hunter is actually pretty mature overall. Really, a completely different person from the fanon version.

- the scene with Luz telling Hunter he is family and him crying was so good too, but, really, they could've finished his arc with this.

- Luz's and Camila's moments and their development are all good.

- Jacob's appearence also seems to be there just as a response to fan theories. (Also i've always disliked the theories that Jacob should be a Whittebane descendant because they were full of weird implications)

- When i first watched, at first i thought that Luz was intending to sacrifice her palisman to somehow open the portal, lol

- Amity's abomination looks different during the fight with Belos. But i think in the episode's beginning it looked normal? Anyway, interesting how the human world abominations would work, and whether they require human/animal/plant remains.

- Not to victim blame a bird, but Flapjack made so many terrible decisions in the episode, from being ok with Hunter touching Belos' goop to stealing the map from Amity to trying to peck possesed Hunter.

- The fight with the possesed Hunter is good, but the outcome is... meh. I think the possession would have worked better on its own, without Flapjacks death, if it finalized Hunter's arc with him fighting back and getting reassurance from his friends, and then the show moved to other characters. Because there is no time to properly address Flapjack's death anyway, and the show already struggles to balance its cast, so a simplier, even if slightly more cliche, plotline would've worked better.

Imo, this whole trauma upon trauma thing works for fanon continuations, but hurts the overall writing quality and pacing. Tbh, while i much prefer that Darius gets to adopt Hunter, i would have been OK with Hunter (with alive Flapjack) just staying in the Human World with Vee (edit: temporary until Belos' and Collector's threats are resolved), if Gus got an arc, and the show had time for proper interactions between Luz and Gus and Willow.

And some would say that Flapjack's death was necessary for Luz's guilt, but i think there were other things to focus on.

- What is going on with Amity's profile in the final part of the episode, lol

- Camila leaving Vee on her own is so 'yep, this is a kid show' moment😭

- But the scene of Luz and Camila going into the portal together is so good. Maybe my favourite moment of the series. Tbh i wouldn't have been mad if it ended with it.

Conclusion:

There is a lot of good stuff in the episode, but the heavy focus on Hunter and the way the possesion and Flapjack's death are utilized are dragging it down, especially knowing how episode 2 will go.

[bg3fan]

The devil you don't know

Part 6

Part 7 (fin)

After a while, Raphael tears stopped and his body turned human again, while being in his arms.

"No, why would you turn back?" You ask with a disappointed voice and even though you can't see his face, you can feel his growing smirk.

"What? You aren't afraid, my dear?" He nudges your side in a jokingly matter, still trying to mask his vulnerable side from you.

You immediately assure him that you'd never be afraid of him because he proved to you over and over again that he'd never hurt you no matter what.

"Is it OK if I touch you?" You suddenly feel very shy and anxious about the whole situation. It takes you back, where you two would explore each other's body for the first time.

"As you wish, my love," you break out of his arms to see how his body transforms again, and even though you try to look closely, you can't tell how his body does the transformation.

You take a minute to just admire his red leather skin and his horns that look like a majestic crown.

Slowly, you reach out with your hands to touch his wings, but you halt before doing so, afraid of making him uncomfortable.

But instead of answering, Raphael lays down beside you on his belly and moves his wing against ur hand, which makes you let out a gasp at the feeling.

You're amazed at how smooth and soft yet firm it feels against your fingers, you try to be as gentle as possible and be aware of every bad reaction he might have but it seems like the red devil enjoys it as he lets out a small sigh of contentment.

"I love these so much," you confess, hoping to make him happy, since you know how much Raphael loves compliments, "I wish I had wings so I could fly wherever I want."

Raphael shifts to his side and chuckles at you "but guess what little mouse, I don't even need to use them, since teleportation is much faster"

You give him a little pout, "that's so unfair, how do you get to have wings and the ability to teleport yourself?" You pinch his sides as you're growing more and more jealous of him.

Suddenly, your eyes catch the sight of his tail, and you want to touch it so bad. But you know from old tiefling friends that the tails are the most sensitive body parts, so for now, you decide to restrain yourself from touching or grabbing it.

With a sighs you lay down on your back next to Raphael while his wing is over you like a blanket. His warmth brings you so much comfort that you could take a nap like this.

"Well, since you're my little mouse, I might provide you with some potions which may allow you to teleport." He kisses the side of your face while he pulls you closer to his side.

You only hum in response as you both find comfort in the silence of embracing each other after a long break of being away.

After some time, you nudge your head against his, carefully not to hurt yourself on his horns. "What will happen now?" You whisper lowly as to not disturb the peace of the quiet.

But it seems like Raphael has enough of the comfortable silence as sits up and pulls you on his lap, "Now you can expect the wealthy and luxurious life as my wife by my side."

You can't help and giggle at him calling you 'his wife', which fills you with excitement and joy.

He kisses your forehead before you are wrapped in hellfire, "Welcome to your new home, the house of hope!" A mischievous and excited grin is on his face as he carries you inside his house.

I fear this chapter turned out to be a bit short but I had a lot of fun writing this even though the end kind of took forever for me to write 💕

Thanks for everybody who wrote comments which kept encouraging me to write this 💕💕💕 (I'm especially looking at @fiendish-appreciation and @schreibsuchtis ❤️❤️) my hyperfixion on bg3 might kick back again when I play the game with some friends but they all moved on from playing it unfortunately:(

[abbythewritor]

"Janitor" Fnaf Security Breach x Female reader. *1.*

Description: What happens when Y/n L/n lands a cleaning Job at the mega pizza plex? How will she handle all the Animatronics falling for her?

Warnings: Slight drama, blood, and jealousy, but other than that, none.

Rated: PG-13.

Other things:

-Bonnie and Foxie aren't dismantled, thanks to Gregory.

-Cassie and Gregory are in High School, working as security guards to keep Freddy and everyone else safe.

-I added a new Daycare attendant named Jester, who will be introduced later, and of course, the attendees got new Upgrades, thanks to Gregory.

-The OCs I will be using aren't mind, and the User names will be linked at the end of the chapter; the credits go to them :)

-Finally, no adult content will be included in this story.

Enjoy the first chapter, everyone :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And that's about it for this room-You ok Y/n?"

It's been a long day, and let me tell you, Cyrus wasn't joking when he said this job was overwhelming.

You were just shadowing him today, and all the stuff he taught, quizzed and even showed didn't comprehend into your brain because it was just too much for even a fucking robot to handle.

So now, here you were, on the floor, your pad of paper and pen beside your head, as you were basically brain-dead from all the stuff he had been giving you.

Letting out a sigh, he towered over you as the man came into your view, a blank look on his face. "Get up." You shook your head. "No, can't; I'm dead."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not."

"Yes. I. am."

"If your 'dead,' then why are you talking?"

"Because Ghost exists."

"Well, if you’re a Ghost, then I guess the ghost can't eat Pizza as a reward? Damn, what a shame; I would even add extra garlic, , but now she's dead, so I guess no extra garlic for her.” You shot up from the ground instantly. "Who says that I'm dead-" You paused when he crossed his arms, a slight smirk forming his lips.

"Bastard." You commented while his eyes rolled. "You weren't even dead; come on, Chica's Pizza should be open still, so let's grab a bite." Helping you back to your feet, you smiled while adjusting your hat. "I like the sound of that; I'm sorry if I was being stubborn back there, I tend to be dramatic when overwhelmed." He waved your comment off. "No worries; besides, I had fun playing around, that's the vibe you have to keep her at the pizza plex, or things will go sideways. Keep that in mind, Kay Newbie?" Giving you a wink, your face flushed slightly as he walked ahead, leaving you slightly confused. Shaking your thoughts away, you began catching up with him, standing on the right side. "What do you mean things will go sideways?" He chuckled, patting your head. "You still have much to learn about being an employee here, but that's a lesson for later; besides, I think our stomachs and feet need a break, so come on, or do I have to race ya?" Watching him smirk, you smirked as well before he suddenly bolted. "Oh, your on!" you spoke, bolting after him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You hate racing, especially the kind where you have to run.

Both of you tried your best to avoid people and kids, as he knew his way around, but you, sadly, didn't win as you kept bumping into things, getting lost, and somehow ended up not even on the same planet.

Overall, the race ended with him going back to find you, and you paying for his lunch.

Tough luck, huh?

He still laughing about it now, as you both were sitting in a booth, a half eaten pizza still in his mouth. "I can't believe, *cough*, you ended up in pirates cove. *cough.* Your eyes rolled. "How was I supposed to know my way around? It's my first-day dickhead." Setting his Pizza down, he leaned back against the booth, his hands going behind his head. "Yeah, that was my fault, sorry Newbie, I should have known you were prone to get lost, but hey, don't worry, we will have many re-matches to come. Did ya enjoy the pizza at least?" "Could have been better if I hadn't paid for it." He snorted as one of your eyebrows went up. "What?" "Ah, newbie, you're just a sore loser, but seriously how's the pizza? If we meet Chica today, she will ask you the rating; and won’t leave you alone about it. But…if you don't like it, just pull out a simple lie so she can be on your good side, ok?" Even more confused, you finished the crust before whipping your hands together. "Why would I have to lie? It's pretty freaking good. Better than the pizza I get, anyway." One of his eyebrows rose, putting his drink straw into his mouth. "and what pizza is that?" Hesitant, you glanced away for a second. "Pizza Hut-" "PFFFT!" He spat out his drink as you jumped a little. He coughed multiple times, hitting his chest while trying to bring himself back together, as you grabbed a hand ass full of napkins for him. "Damn, I know it's shitty pizza, but it's nothing to choke up about." Getting his breath, he took the napkins before sitting up. "N-No, not that, it's just, that place is for...." "Poor people?" He paused. "No, I was about to say-wait, your poor?" Chuckling, you plopped some ice into your mouth. "Why else would I get this Job? Crappy parents don't care for lost children like me." Feeling bad, he frowned a bit. "Sorry, can I ask what happened?" Shaking your head, you adjusted yourself again. "Another time, but hate to ask, isn't lunch break over?"

......

......

.......

His Faz watch was way past the lunch break hours, and his eyes went out of his socket. "SHIT!" Jumping out of the booth, Cyrus grabbed your wrist unexpectedly, and you let out a scared squeal while getting yanked off your side of the booth. "TIME FOR MUSIC MAN NEWBIE!!" Holding onto your hat, you tried to keep up with him, but he was moving too fast, and you felt like you were on a speed boat with how much motion was going on. "Cryus, please slow down....we just ate p-pizza-" Ignoring your plea, he just continued pulling you fast as you headed towards the music man's area, as it was just down the hall. "No time, Newbie, cleaning doesn't happen itself; now, if we keep this pace, we might just be able to see music, Man, try to keep up!"

Face turning green, you didn't even know what to say because all you could think about was where the nearest trash can was. Let's just say even though it's already past lunch, the rest of the day...

Well, it can only get worse from here; what's worse than puking in front of your mentor?

.....

.....

Oh boy, there is a lot more worse things that could happen, a lot more.

Well, let’s just hope music man’s place has a trash can, because..

Your defiantly going to need one.

....................

"Ah, made it just in time-hey, Newbie; stop puking, we are here!" Yeah, you both made it alright, with you ending up puking at the entrance's trash can.

You wanted to beat that happy little smug on his face as you were still hunched over, the pizza you just ate spilling out of your mouth.

But, before you could puke more, however, Cyrus, the rude mother f-er, grabbed your collar, and he dragged you along inside. "Cyrus, I need to puke more-"

"Nope! Dj is waiting, and his room needs a cleanin'!"

"Please, if you don't let me finish, Dj's room will be filled with my vomit-"

"You can puke inside; we have no time for shenanigans-HEY DJ!"

Not knowing you were already inside, you hopped up from the ground, forcing your puke to go back down to your stomach.

Your eyes widened with the unfamiliar scenery, as somehow, you both teleported to some wild nightclub that your friends would never invite you to.

A giant hole, tunnel-thing, was in the middle, with a unique, large-looking DJ booth sitting perfectly, towering over the dance floor, which had different colorful blocks made out of glass. It probably changes color when the DJ is active, but even if they aren’t on, it still looks pretty cool.

Man, if this room is for kids, then it’s really large, top notch, and kind of huge now that you think about it.

“This is Mr. Dj's room; his Job is to help the glam rocks with their performance, he has another hole leading to the stage, but this area is like a dance/music room for kids, adults, and even teens, so it's for all ages. But, sometimes, when Adults book it for a night, that wall there will reveal a mysterious bar for alcohol for them to drink from.” Your eyes widened with surprise. "That's allowed here?" He smiled at you. "It was banned once, for kid's safety, but once my good friend Gregory had a pretty genius Idea of hiding it from them and using it as an 'adult booking only thing,' then alcohol was available here at night, but only for adults, no one gets any if they're under age." "Ah, I see; if this room is used for partying, where is the DJ?" Cryus shrugged. "Probably talking to Little Dj, but don't worry, I'll call him again. It's important to let him know we clean, so he doesn't get the wrong idea of us being intruders or kids who want to party with him...HEY DJ, IT'S ME!!"

"IS THAT YOU, CYRUS? I'LL BE OUT IN A SEC" The deepness of his voice and its volume made you stiff, your heart not working anymore as it sent chills down your spine.

You could have sworn the room shook when this 'DJ' spoke, wondering how giant this DJ robot was...but once he started to come out of the tunnel, you couldn't believe your eyes.

Cryus smiled as a giant but very tall, half-spider-human thing came out, who went in front of his DJ mixing table.

He was the size of King Kong, and his height was as tall as the empire state building.

Not realizing he had some human features, his lips matched the color of his hair, which was a soft pink, while his 'skin' was pale blue paint complimenting his cheeks, chin, eyebrows, and the markings on his forehead.

He had multiple eyes since he looked like a spider, but, giant...really giant...Shit...

You felt like you were sweating balls as he looked a little intimidating. But, Cryus wasn't nervous at all as the robot spider smiled at the sight of him. "Hey, now I thought I heard your voice back there, Cyrus; what brought you to my place early today?" Smiling back, the boy adjusted his hat before he slapped your back ard, which made you stumble forward. "I gotta newbie with me today! Since your kids left early, we cleaned this place before the adults arrived!" Feeling nervous, your face looked to the floor as DJ looked at you, then back to him. "Ah, so that's the girl Deans been talking about, say, he wasn't kidding about her being Timid; guess that's my fault huh?" Cyrus threw an arm over your shoulder. "Timid?! You should have seen her an hour ago; she was talking up a storm! Come on, Y/n, introduce yourself!" He pushed you forward again, and you stumbled, of course, as you couldn't keep your balance as you accidentally tripped on a cord.

The Dj noticed as one of his giant fingers went in front of you just in time, preventing you from falling. Confused, the Dj picked you up by your clothes, bringing you higher in the air. Eyes widened, and your feet and arms scrambled as Heights scared the living shit out of you. 'Shit, is this how my tiny objects feel when I pick them up?!' you thought, feeling like this guy could just squish you like a pea, but he had no intentions of that, as he gently laid you down on his left hand, giving him a chance to get a better look at you.

Standing up, you could feel your legs tremble as you looked around, seeing no sign of Cyrus anywhere.

But, you paused when your face met with DJ's, as his eyes through his glasses pierced through your soul, which you most likely felt. "Little lady, my sensors read that you are nervous; I'm intimidating you ain't I?" Not sure how to answer, you gulped a bit. "U-Uhm, I don't mean to be rude, D-DJ, but it's just that you're so freaking big...like" He chuckled, which rumbled a lot as you struggled to stand, your but landing onto his palm. "I get it, lil one, you never seen a robot the size of me, but don't worry, I ain't that mean. Say, what is your name?"

Pointing to yourself with surprise, you got to your feet again. "M-My name?" He nodded. "Y-Y/n." He hummed with your response. "Well, Hello there, Y/n, my name Is DJ, I'm sure Cyrus has told you the details about me, but I'll tell you one thing, even though I'm big and intimidating, I'm easy to get along with." One of his fingers went to your head, moving it slightly to pat it, which caused a giggle to escape your mouth. Hearing that loud and clear, the Dj smiled while inching closer."Ya laughed! See? I ain't a bad guy, now; I say your style is pretty fresh, but don't tell Roxy that because she'll have my head for telling that to a stranger compared to her style, ok?" Head tilting, you sat down on his palm again. "Roxy?" DJ was now confused. "So you haven't taken her to them yet?" He was looking to Cyrus, who shook his head. "They were doing meet and greets; they are next!" The Dj nodded. "Ah, noted, but I am still honored for you two to see me, especially you, Y/n; I know you and Cryus gotta Job to do, so I will put Ya down." You felt sad as the Dj was warming up to you. Yeah, you didn't even talk the whole time, but you could tell from all the scary, tell exterior, inside, he was such a huge softie. Which is weird to notice since you just met the robot. He noticed a pout as he smiled, leaning closer to you. "Awh, it's alright, Y/n, we'll see each other again; I'll say bye when you head to the others, but for now..." Bringing you back to the ground, you hopped off his hand before turning as he formed a fist with the hand you just got off.

Looking up, you chuckled as you attached your fist to his. "This is a partial goodbye." Winking at you, your heart fluttered as he turned, leaving you to look at your hand.

He was so cool, and your fangirling emotions couldn't keep in.

Cyrus looked at you with a smirk before you looked back at the Dj, who was getting into his tunnel again.

Gripping your fist, you decided to say something you won't regret. "HEY, DJ!" Pausing, he turned to you, who had a wonderful smile on your face. "I LIKE YOUR SUNGLASSES, DUDE!" Holding up Piece signs, his eyes widened as you winked, his initial core heating up for some reason before he let out a deep chuckle, turning back towards the tunnel. "Keep this in mind, Cyrus." Confused, he still was smirking as he looked at Dj. "Keep what in mind, Dj?!"

Turning again, we could see a smirk forming the Dj's lips, as he couldn't get you winking at him out of his mind. He doesn't know what is happening or why his core is heating up like crazy, but he knows this.

Better than the last Newbie he encountered months ago, you were very different from that person, which makes you unique and fantastic. Hearing from Deans's's perspective that you were 'shy and timid' made him curious. But when you showed up, you proved him wrong. You weren't shy and timid but bright and brave, just like a lightbulb, which a Janitor should be.

..........

.........

"She's a keeper."

......

....

"For sure."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Name: Dj Music man.

Age: Unknown

Height: Tall.

Status: Dj

Extra info: A giant, soft spider bot who just wants friends to talk to. Gotta give this giant fella attention, or he will gloom in his tunnel for weeks, maybe months.

Relationship status: Acquaintances or maybe more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

Saudi Arabia GP 2024!

Mads' Race Recap!

Right, here we are, with another race recap. Yes, I know I said I would split these into 2, qualis and race, but I didn't. Oops. Anyway, we're going to do this in constructors again.

Red Bull - Refer to last weeks comments, I have nothing else to say really.

Ferrari - Right. Here we go. I'll start off with Charles, then I'll move onto the other fiasco. I think the overtake from Checo was inevitable in the end, the Red Bull has more pace, and Checo is great on street circuits. I didn't really see much of Lord Perceval, since he found a very comfortable spot between Checo and Oscar for the majority of the race. Very nice, brought some good points home. I like how he said in an interview (at some point after the race) that he thinks the Ferrari can have more pace later in the season. I would prefer it now, but I will wait. And fastest lap? OK my love, go for it. I saw it pop up and I thought it was a glitch on the graphics, I can't lie. He just though 'sod it, I've got space, let's go' and go, he did. Now onto my hero for the weekend. Ollie bloody Bearman that man is an absolute phenom. His first ever F1 race, some nice overtakes, did so so so well in qualis and in the race. He has gotten more points in one race than some people do in their entire career, which is quite funny IMO. Seriously though, on such short notice, he did such a brilliant job, and he is going to go far. Sad he missed out on the F2 race, and that's going to do a detriment to his points and Prema's, but he could have very well just made his career. One more thing before I move on to the other teams. Carlos. Carlos Sainz. Carlos fucking Sainz.

He drove for some reason during FP1 & 2, and I commend that, he wanted to get the job done. But, the man looked blue (the colour, not emotion). He looked so sick it was awful. Then I see the news that the poor man has already had his appendix out. I was just glad he was alright, THEN I SEE HIM AT THE TRACK?! I was just like 'Someone please put him back in bed and make him rest'. Then I see that the doctors told him to stay in bed and not go to the race. That man is a fighter, I'll give him that. And it was nice to hear from Ollie that he gave him all the tips and tricks, since it was his setup and everything like that. Hopefully, Carlos is back for Australia, but if Ollie has to drive for whatever reason, I won't be annoyed. Forza Ferrari!

McLaren - Oscar had a good race, he really tried to overtake Lewis. But, if they knew he still needed to pit anyway, why burn out the tyres and try to overtake? It would've gotten a better gap, yes, but I guess there wouldn't have been any point in just sitting back and letting him possibly gain extra time. Some good points in the bag there for them. As for Lando, I reckon if he didn't have Lewis badgering him the whole time, he would've been able to overtake Ollie for the P7, since he was lapping a whole lot faster and was on better tyres. Thankfully, Lewis actually did us a favour and kept Lando back, but Lando did a nice job. I don't know why he didn't come in under the safety car, but it didn't work out too badly for him, I guess.

Mercedes - Whatever is happening there is an absolute shit show. George stayed under the radar, just kind of driving in his big ol' empty space that he had between him, Ollie and Fernando. Lewis is really right when they have no speed in the high speed sections of the track. He did some nice defending on Oscar though, he was right to try and keep him back as much as possible, since that would have opened the space for other people to attack. All in all, Merc seriously need to sort their shit out if they want to compete for the higher places. Even then, they'll have to get through the McLarens, then the Ferrari's for those P3s that we are interchangeably giving to Charles and Carlos. Maybe P2s can be up for grabs if Checo fucks it, and maybe P1s if we get another Singapore situation.

Aston Martin - Not a bad one from Fernando, nice race from him. Instead of trying to compete with McLaren, he just let them do their own thing. He knows what he's doing. But, he was definitely in the top 3/4 for pole. Him, Charles, Max and Checo. But then he comes out bottom of the 4? He set osme mega laps, but then he just lost it. The Aston does that a lot. Lance was setting some lovely Q2 laps, but then it was like the car just said 'nah mate, I'm clocking out'. And, back to Lance. He just needed to be a little more careful. It was funny to hear his radio message, I'll admit, and I think his bringing out of the safety car definitely helped some of the others out a lot. Was I surprised though... no. Fernando nearly did the same thing, so did Oscar, but they were just a little lighter on it. Aston really has fallen, though.

Haas - Right, I'm officially a Haas girl Kevin Magnussen I absolutely fucking love you man. Matt & Tommy from P1 called it the Haasterplan. I completely agree. If Ollie wasn't driving, I would've given Kevin driver of the day. No, I would've given him driver of the year. After that first 10 second pen, he just said 'fuck it, I'm off' and just started going for it. Contact with Alex? Fine. Track limits? What are they? Do you want to absolutely send it into turn 1 again? Is that even a question? I bloody loved it. He just backed up all of those people from P11 and just let them suffer. He even ended up P12, even with the 20 seconds worth of penalties. Bloody lovely. I loved Kevin's radio just kept on going 'yeah, great one, keep it up'. Haas have found their new strategy.

Williams - Erm... not much to say? Mediocre qualis, Alex can get through to Q3 on a good day. Logan was out in Q1, this time it wasn't the steering wheel's fault. And... yeah. Wish I could say more, but I can't, really. Sorry.

VCARB/RB/REDBULLSHITTYEDITION - Daniel. Daniel Daniel Daniel. What is going on with you? I check the leaderboard, and I just see him chilling at the back. I don't even know what's going on there. And Yuki fell victim to the Kevin Magnussen Train of Terror. I honestly thought these guys were going to be your P11s-P14s, maybe with a few 10s and 9s sprinkled in there. But, I guess we have to put up with 15 and 16.

Kick Sauber - Right Valtteri really doesn't give a shit. He is quite happy just to toddle along at the back, as you do, in his little highlighter car. Good on him. I just felt bad for Zhou, I can't lie. He kinda just got stuck at the back and there was nothing he could do since the poor guy couldn't even set a quali time because his car was fucked.

Alpine - Jesus love of the lord above someone save these people. Pierre didn't even start the race, they had shit qualifying, and they have become the laughing stock of Formula 1. Estie was kind of just left to die, I guess. My delusional ass blames Pierre for a bad Charles start since his tyres were colder because he was faffing around at the back. Bullshit, I know.

[captain-aralias]

giving birth

idk, i'm pretty sure some people wouldn't write a post about going into labour on tumblr, but it's a thing i wanted to write about, so - it's here if you want it! if you'd rather avoid, don't click the read more.

things normal people might want to know outside the cut:

baby is now 11 days old <3 things are generally going well. i sleep between about 11pm and 3am, and then again 8am to 10am

it's been hard to get enough brain together to write a post like this, reply to comments, read fic, etc, as many of my most cogent hours have been visitor hours or hanging out with my partner. the night shift is not a good time to do things that aren't watching TV. i've managed to Read Half a Book (daisy jones and the six - easy going, i like it)

i was going to cosplay him as baby simon snow left at the orphanage, but he looks nothing like simon (much more like baz - currently: grey eyes, reddish-gold skin, dark hair), and also i don't want to write on my baby :o

surprise fourth entry: we think the terrace house next door has been turned into a brothel ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ok - birth stuff after this. not too much gory detail, probs, but some.

the beginning part you already know!

waters broke on thursday 11th, just after i woke up. this was two days after the stitch was removed, and therefore almost certainly related, so hooray for stitch! kept the baby in until 37 weeks.

i'd been worried that i might not realise my waters had broken, as apparently this is totally possible. i am here to tell you - that YES, it is possible. i clocked what it probably was immediately, but also it wasn't a 4 cups of liquid is everywhere sort of deal, it was more like - about half a cup every hour or so. and so i thought - this is probably what is happening, but maybe it's not and i should have done more pelvic floor exercises.

went to hospital. got hooked up to the machine that monitors baby heartbeat and movement. nothing much happening, although heartbeat all ok. the midwife on duty was called 'merlyn' - true story.

she asked me to walk around for a bit and come back, so my partner and i walked to the costa coffee inside the hospital. i ordered one of the new 'bubble' drinks, because i thought - why not? it's sugary and cold, these are things that make babies move. the drink was...... not good. blueberry slushy with cream on top and bubbles that were a) too big to fit through the absolutely normal straw and b) apparently were a cross between blueberries and popping boba. i say apparently as i'd given up by then and my partner ate them.

anyway - this detail included just to show you how surreal and nothingy early labour was. we walked back, hooked back up to the machine. baby now kicking a bit, and merlyn asked me whether i just had a really high pain tolerance and therefore wasn't upset about the contractions. i said, 'i dont know - guess we're about to find out' 🤔

agreed i probably wasn't in labour yet, so i was sent home, but asked to come back at 4.30 for my pre-scheduled scan with the nice doctor who first realised my cervix was open, and who we've seen regularly since (because my partner rang to complain when we had no follow up, and because this doctor was the one who rang us back and then made sure we were seen afterwards. not brilliant work from NHS administrators).

was also told if i didn't go into labour before hand, to come back at 8.30am (24 hours after waters broken) to be induced. given leaflet about induction methods. key take away - could take up to 3 days. sounds terrible.

home for 2 hours, back to hospital for scan.

we were waiting around for about half an hour. shown in - doctor says, 'we've had some difficult patients today, sorry! but you should be easy'. my partner tells her my waters have broken - she's surprised! (but pleased) no one has managed to tell her or put it in any notes, which she just reviewed. again - great job. i do love you NHS, but what is going on? a student midwife is trying to scan me - and has had to deal with all these previous difficult cases. with little amniotic fluid left, her job is basically impossible. sorry :'(

but - waters breaking confirmed! honestly, until that point i was still not sure. doctor says, induction could be offered immediately, but we mostly don't do that as in almost all cases you go into labour before 24 hours. i said thank you again for spotting my cervix being open. weird to think we won't see her again!!

went home. watched the end of 'little dorrit' (overall - it's good. so many famous people. the ending is a bit all over the place, though). about 9pm started feeling period-pain type pain. figured: probably a contraction! definitely did not feel like i expected in that there was no real release. it was just - now you're having a painful period. i called maternity triage again to say there was blood in the water now, and they reminded me that was totally normal (mucus plug, i guess) and to come back when things were serious.

so - i went to sleep.

woke up at about 2am. contractions now serious business, but also still... not as serious as i'd expected. again: basically it felt like period pain, this time crossed with constipation. and then it would go away, and i'd feel totally normal again, which i was not expecting.

we'd been told to come in when the contractions were every 5 minutes for an hour. my contractions were coming about ever 2-3 minutes. after about 20 minutes, i told my partner that i wanted to go to the hospital now, even if we should really wait. this was the RIGHT decision.

i'm the only one who can drive our car. it was obviously not a good idea to drive the car. i called an uber. unfortunately the labour ward is on the other side of the hospital to the main entrance, and doesn't have an address you can give uber..... retrospectively i'd have done better just putting in the street, like i usually did, but i tried to use the labour ward post code. we ended up at the main entrance, which was shut.

erin (my partner) keeps telling people that the uber drive was annoyed i slammed the door of his car, but i honestly do not remember this. the drive was about 10 minutes, during which i alternated between feeling bad and feeling totally fine.

we didn't bother trying to direct the driver to the right part of the hospital, just got out. erin wanted to go and get a wheelchair, but i didn't want to just sit on the ground outside the hospital in the middle of the night while she did that, and i felt completely fine ... except when i didn't.

so we walked to the labour ward. it's about 5 minutes from the entrance. i sat on the floor when the contractions came. then walked again. cool times.

arrived at maternity triage. again, it felt like going there every other time we'd ever been there - my key take away is that most of being in labour was extremely underwhelming. pain was not great, to the extent that i was thinking 'i can see why people don't like labour, maybe this was a terrible idea', but i could still think things like that. they hooked me up to the same machine as they had in the morning, and this time it said - yes, definitely in labour (which i knew, but ho hum - it was doing its best!).

asked to confirm i was a low risk pregnancy. we were like - nope, don't think so. ivf, stitch, isnt that in the notes??

a midwife came over and was like - "WOW, you're 8cm dilated." (of the necessary 10cm) at which point they started to take everything a bit more seriously. but they also described a bunch of pain relief options - and i was like, whatever, give me whatever i can have. and then was told - oh no, you actually can't have pethadine, water birth, or epidural of these as you're too far along. (which i also knew, but then why offer?)

i'd sort of suspected this might be the case, given how my cervix tried to open at 21 weeks. so my birth plan was basically 'whatever'. v glad i hadn't had my heart set on anything in particular.

they wheeled me down the corridor to one of the birthing rooms. they wouldn't let me go to the toilet in case i had the baby in the toilet..... that's how quickly things were happening.

i managed to change into the hospital gown, then got onto the bed. 'this is such a comfortable bed' i told my partner, although later (post birth) i realised that it wasn't... but i appreciated it a lot at the time.

i WAS allowed gas and air, hurrah. i'm extremely keen on doing things that make my life easier, so i accepted, obvs. basically, you breathe in during the contractions, and breathe out of the mask normally when you're not contracting.

THIS made the whole experience very different from just 'intense period pain', in part probably because the pain was ramping up, but also because whenever i wasn't contracting i felt completely off my face from the gas. overall, i thought this was a decent pain relief option. i also liked how breathing in the gas gave me something to focus on while pain was happening and it was a clear signal to everyone else that it was happening.

i probably had about... 5 more before my body was like 'maybe time to push'. (it really did feel different/like an actual urge). midwife told me i couldn't have the gas and air anymore - boo - just focus on pushing when the urge came.

pushed...... but obviously it hurt, so even though they were like 'keep pushing!' i thought, i will just relax because that's less painful. (great job, brain.) but i only faked out twice.

they invited a doctor in, because i was bleeding, and baby's heartrate was dropping. i agreed to the episiotomy because even though i reeeally didn't want that, i obviously would do whatever to get the baby safe.

retrospectively, my partner and i think that probably i was bleeding because i'd just had the stitch out two days before and those wounds had opened. but neither of us thought of it at the time, and no one assisting with the birth had had time to read the notes. (this is a theme of the post, not to be too whingey - but it was a shame). but anyway, the cutting (boo) came with a side of local anaesthetic (HOORAY) so actually it felt like a very good decision at the time, even above baby's safety.

one more contraction, one more push - baby was born in one go.

he's premature-levels of small at 5lb 10oz (5th percentile), even though he's technically full term. this is why erin and i think the bleeding was from the stitch rather than the baby, although one of the midwives suggested perhaps he was holding his arm up next to his face and that made him seem bigger. the scan we got the day before estimated his weight as being more normal, but scans are super unreliable particularly late in pregnancy.

really a very easy birth, as far as i can tell. i had slept through a lot of the early stage. the fear of being at home at not with medical professionals was the worst bit (and we fixed that by just going in even when we weren't sure) and as soon as it was over, i felt immediately fine. the whole thing had taken 2 hours tops. baby born at 4.30am.

i thought i'd cry when they gave me the baby, but actually i was too surprised that he was actually there and alive. (my partner cried.) the umblical cord looks creepy and alien. we'd agreed a medical professional should cut the cord, rather than erin (who wants to do this? they just want dads to feel involved). i got to hold him baby while they gave me the shot to deliver the placenta. barely felt it.

then had to give baby to erin for 30 minutes while a fuck tonne of stitches were put in... the amount of sewing involved was definitely worrying. i'd assumed maybe like... two stitches, but... it was a lot. can't recommend (though could not feel it at the time.)

after that, we just got to hang out in the room. i showered, changed, they brought me (but not erin) some breakfast and lunch. they did tests on the baby, most of which he passed. didn't pass the hearing test but apparently this is normal, as lots of babies have fluid in their ears. we think he can hear as he has startled at loud noises since. all the clothes i'd brought were hilariously too big.

sent home about 12 hours after the birth. could have stayed if we'd wanted to, but definitely did not.

i felt totally fine the entire day of the birth, full of LOTS of adrenalin. second day was also ok. third day was my crash. i got a cold, which was NOT good for my pelvic floor (and which i still have, RIP). my stitches hurt, the sleep debt had kicked in and i was hobbling everywhere, and breastfeeding wasn't going well. before the birth i'd been very much of the opinion that i'd breastfeed if it was easy, but i found it kind of weird and knew the health benefits were exaggerated. (but not completely, obviously). deep in my hormones, i was not able to hold onto this previously rational view. instead, i was thinking - i have no connection to my baby anymore.

i also cried at the song 'making a man' from the musical operation mincemeat (which is NOT an emotional song - but is about someone with the same name as my baby, who i'd just made), the beginning of the movie 'in the heights' (it was just so good!), the ending of the movie 'pride', and i cried again while describing what had happened at the end of 'pride' and how i'd cried.....

bought several breast pumps, fed the baby formula, took a day off from trying to breastfeed, things pretty much fixed for me (except for the crying at movies) by day 5. going to continue with combination feeding (i.e. breastmilk+formula) though, because it just seems insane to have to wake up every time the baby is hungry. what am i, a sadist? and when people are over - how good not to have to get your breasts out... thank you makers of formula.

ANYWAY. we're now on day 11. feels like baby is pretty easy going for a baby, he only cries when he needs something - which i appreciate, as it helps me keep him alive \o/ he will sleep in his basket, but only if he's already asleep. he prefers to be held. he can sleep for 3 hours at a time, but only during the day - at night you're lucky to get 1 hour, and he has been awake for about 2 hours at a time, unlike about 15 minutes average in the day. he smells nice, he wasn't cute-cute when he first came out, but he is getting extremely cute now and i think he looks more like my partner than an unknown donor (although still all to play for, i think). because he's still super small and almost pre-term, his legs and arms are still all curled up like he's in the womb, even though he's been out 11 days. but he's gradually uncurling them and stretching out.

i like holding him. he makes funny faces. he has a LOT of hair - which means the heartburn was right about that one. (n.b. heartburn is linked to hair, this is an old wives tale that is now scientifically proven) think it's going well, overall <3

n.b. i had to pause at this point because baby woke up. what they say about baby boys peeing on you while you change their nappies is 100% accu-rat, but it's quite funny really. we haven't worked out how to stop it because putting a cloth over him makes him hold it in..... and then you remove the cloth....... fine comedy in action.

my bump was very small, so i was able to put my pre-pregnancy jeans back on after only a few days. hooray, i love jeans.

uterine contractions started about day 6 (this is a thing i feel i did not know about before being pregnant myself. 7 days worth of contractions post baby to bring your uterus back in line). wow, it's like MORE PERIOD PAIN. great. there's less blood than i expected, though. i also can't control my temperature well at night - so i'm super hot while asleep, then get out of bed and start shivvering. apparently this is what the menopause will be like. looking forward to that 😅

not much else to add except the brothel stuff. basically 2 nights ago, someone knocked on my front door at 4.30 (same time baby was born!) in the morning as i was sitting up with baby. rang the doorbell, walked round to peer through the window, and then knocked again. i would not have answered - just wanted him to go away, but erin came down and opened the door, which was (it turns out) the right thing to do, but i was not happy about it - as we live in a semi-dodgy neighbourhood, although i've always felt relatively safe as we're off the highstreet and there are often people outside the pub until 1-2am, which is annoying but also feels like they'd see and stop anything bad.

i was running through scenarios like 'and then he breaks in' or 'and then he stabs whoever opened the door' in my mind. instead he just said something like - 'do you know where the whorehouse is?' and erin said 'wtf, it's 3am' and closed the door.

this could have just been a random incident, and indeed i didn't hear him say 'whorehouse' so i thought it was just a drunk guy asking for directions. but once she told me what he'd said, we then realised that the house next door to us... probably is a brothel. it's been renovated by our ex-neighbours and rented out, all the windows are blacked out, including the skylight we can see out of our windows. there's a complex doorbell system, they refuse to take our packages in, they don't have any bins out the front (which is presumably because no one is using the house as a house), and we've definitely heard people having sex through the walls. though erin thinks they've put up sound insulation just in time to not have to hear the baby crying in retaliation.

she's american and leftie and very against cops, so i'm trying not to be a karen about it. i have not reported it to the police, but i have said to erin already that if anything else happens that makes me feel unsafe...... i probably will. the man knocking on the door makes me not want to be awake with the baby in the night, even though nothing happened. (he broke the first rule of secret brothel - you DONT talk about secret brothel). we don't have our ex-neighbours details, so reporting is all we could do. apart from i guess ask them to move.... (won't be doing that, obvs. confrontation? no thanks.)

hopefully it's fine, and they will just move on at some point. VERY weird, though. and not what i need while hopped up on hormones.

glad to have written this post! feels like a good turning point in baby land, being able to write some words even if it's just this stream of consciousness. i also logged back into work Teams to send some pictures. since he was born, have been out with baby to the midwife (in the car), marks and spencers (in the car with pram), boots (in the pram), and today to a hipster coffee shop (in car, baby slept in pram bassinet). might reply to some comments tomorrow. working back up to actually writing some fic or finishing my lego.

also - it's (almost) hitting me that i have 9 months off work. apart from the sleep, i feel like i could go back to work now.... but i WANT the time off. but usually i only take 2 weeks off, and i've done that now... so it's time to go back to work...

i did read a bunch of other messages on Teams/Slack when i was posting the pictures. v hard not to care. even with something much more important to do.

ok - going to eat some food, now. thank you to anyone who read this far! hope it was interesting as well as long.

not tagging this pregnancy as i was doing it so people could block the tag, but people who don't know me literally found my posts and read them. and ... that's not what this is for.