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I'm still reading this person's fics bc they're been posting more of them, but I still feel like I failed the social interaction somehow and I'm really scared to keep reading them bc what if they're the sort of person I hate on the down-low? Or maybe they just hate me bc I dislike those kinds of people, while they're more neutral? Maybe they've even assumed something about me that isn't true, wrt to my DNI that I think might've started all of this. idk. idk. it's making me anxious to not know for sure. I wonder if I should just cut my losses again, here.
#it just bothers me that they stopped talking to me immediately after I mentioned the DNI and how they seemed not to violate it#maybe they DO but I don't know that bc it's not obvious? or maybe they're weird about people with DNIs?#some people take umbrage at people with a DNI; I can sort of get where they're coming from but also I still think they have useful function#other people think that some of the specific things that are barred are being too harsh but like. I don't think that I am being unreasonabl#with this particular thing here. unless again they assumed something else...#... maybe they're bad in a different way? I'd still feel bad about liking their stuff but much less horrifically disgusted and guilty...#augh I just don't KNOW!!! they haven't blocked my main bc I can still see them in my sideblog's notifs but I haven't tried to talk to them-#directly on the sideblog since the conversation abruptly ended. maybe they just didn't see it or aren't online often? or are online-#somewhere else. I think they DID used to have a twitter...#hh. seriously considering cutting my losses but I REALLY don't want to do that here unless I really truly have to#bc there's just so little fandom content; and also seeing the number go up without actually being able to see the fics themselves#would still cause me some amount of stress; bc it does with every other person I've blocked on there
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summer scions!! I absolutely love the new portraits for all their smug happy expressions. Except Y'shtola, who is not going to deign to give a camera a proper saucy look because that's silly. Urianger is smirking twice as hard on her behalf.
Glam review under the cut!
I unlocked Alphinaud first of the twins and didn't know Alisaie had a little necktie yet, so I'm deducting a point from my first impression because the sheer delight that he had a silly little necktie of some sort no matter the situation delighted me so thoroughly. Since they're still engaging in matchy twin dressing to some degree, I have to assume they either like it and won't admit it after digging in so hard, or Ameliance sent them off with cute outfits and matching backpacks, and they still don't really shop for themselves.
He's got the practical watch/compass gloves which are good for a technically proficient Sage and probably the most practical gear he's ever worn except for when he was poncho Alphy, but wearing ankle-length jeans seem like the least weather-appropriate choice of the Scions if we assume their average skin coverage is a good weathervane for the temperature in Tural. I chalk it up to teenage awkwardness.
8/10 unless he and Alisaie chose their outfits themselves, in which case it's a 9/10
I think Alisaie is the only Scion to keep a single piece of their default gear, and those are her usual gloves. She's colour-matched around it.
Because of the gloves and boots, she looks the most ready for hardcore hiking, somehow, and her matching Alphinaud with a cute button down shirt with rolled up sleeves along with that particular choice of baggier shorts (when she normally wears more form fitting shorts) do give me the closest to butch vibes it's probably likely to get for main characters. So I'm giving her an extra point I stole from Alphinaud for the lesbian vibes.
9/10 or 10/10 if she made these choices all by herself.
Everything about this cracks me up, from his portrait above to the image of him tanking open shirted once he pulls mobs.
Believe it or not, he's getting an additional point for those shoes simply because the competition in practicality in tanking is G'raha.
I had a moment of excitement when I thought the necklace was pink because that's always a cute Ryne/Minfillia thing fanartists give him with ribbons and such, but once I got zoomed in on him it was red, so I guess he's just been shopping. Although, the turquoise shorts are her eye colour and the actual large diamond shapes are secretly Mothercrystal coded in those colours, which just cracks me up that you can pick out one of the worse days of his life (Urianger's grand Warrior of Darkness plan) in his Chill Summer Beach Vibes look.
Douchebag beach bro shell bracelet as well, which really makes me double down on him and Urianger spending way too much on tourist bait along the stalls in the Famous Turali Market. The hat and sunglasses are giving him one of the Most tourist-y looks thematically reflecting how a lot of the Scion guys were just here to hang out, narratively or literally. Maybe he's trying not to get such an intense tan again, which is the only reason he's not entirely topless.
11/10 I could not stop laughing when I got him and Urianger to 100 and Beheld The Brilliance in the same moment.
Please note the raised sunglasses in Urianger's portrait, which are not the model his character uses.
I am delighted that I had been incorporating that island watch into my healer glams on both the logic you need to know your clock positionals but also they're largely the smarty pants jobs (WHM being vibes only aside - it gets its own glams :P). And here's Urianger and Alphinaud both using watches.
Now, I had a moment of being vaguely disappointed he had trousers not a skirt or something else swishy and androgynous, but then I did realise that I, a nonbinary weirdo who relates to Urianger since he made me nonbinary, have actually gone to a couple of garden parties dressed in some variation of this exact outfit of light trousers and a nice button up. Plus, the earrings are in both ears, so no "Google, which ear is the gay one?", these are just straight up cute femme dangly earrings with his favourite little dudes on.
More importantly, the colours he's repping are those of Lopporit Radio. He probably tunes in every night for his broadcasts :')
Mirrored sunglasses for the guy notorious for keeping thoughts and plans close to his chest and choosing deliberately to be enigmatic even when it serves zero purpose except for I guess gender affirming care. (The gender is Weird Bitch.)
I can't tell how I feel about those dad sandals. I suppose it depends if he's wearing them like a fashion model (brand new and clean with perfect pedicured feet) or if those are REALLY dad at the beach-like and, since I'm not a foot person, this for me is only a choice between "not off-putting" and "AURGH".
9/10 the proximity to Thancred hauls him up several points of misgivings I had, and the lopporit shout outs are killing me :')
I unlocked Y'shtola last and holy fuck I am a lesbian. I don't even recognise where those boots come from, so either a really expensive glam or something I just have not stumbled on. She has toe rings I think? And painted nails? I have no idea if the garter (?) is part of the boots glam or a custom thing as result of not recognising the boots and how much of them is normal. I feel like they customised a lot on her anyway - the back of her top has purple beads that match her staff (not dyable on the real piece)
and I think the necklace has to be part of the top instead of a separate necklace piece with the way it hangs, AND the bracelets are a glove piece with the original summer glam, but I assume they're layered with the false nails, also in the glove slot. All in all it's giving the sort of effort which is starting to creep up to what I'd expect from the modding community not the game. I mean, not THAT good but getting close. Baby steps towards what fandom can make :P
She really is god's favourite meow meow.
Anyway I can't really judge this fairly because it's really hot and I love her so I'm just going to give it 100/10 and move on. :)
how did I get a picture where Estinien looks like he's stooping to get in the frame...
The fact he has Azure Dragoon Blue Top and then Violently Nidhogg Fuchsia shorts is the colour theory that absolutely killed me. When he lights up during his burst and starts glowing pink all over his shorts are like. Taking him over like the eye once did I think.
love a guy who can embrace his past trauma and dress to match all that has passed before and all that he intends to do now (kill something large and tasty, grill it on the beach, fall asleep with a beer in hand until the waves come in and wake him up).
I gave him that wooden bracelet in the glam he has on my desktop screen so once again I'm feeling weirdly vindicated.
Other details: no ponytail despite the warm weather because he's got enough ventilation. The fact there's cactaurs on his shirt when he's on record for eating them is amazing. We should imagine he's wearing his jobstone like that pendant (since he's one of the only guys with a confirmed jobstone despite being the Guy Without A Job notoriously that one time.)
Unlike Thancred's hat and sunglasses combo, which seems fun and boisterous somehow, he seems the most walled off of all the sunglasses wearers even though he's not the most mysterious. The visor really helps make it a sort of wall. Maybe just because his terse upfront personality and somehow despite his clothes horse habits THIS amount of whimsy seems the most out of character at first glance, but he DOES look uncomfortable to me.
Somehow I find everything about this outfit excellent for his character but also like maybe he was forced into it, everyone cornering him and telling him the Scion Beach Party was a mandatory work event and he was not allowed to beg off of it and he did put some work in expressing himself but also is going to go find a much quieter corner to lurk in for the day, when not competing with Thancred (can't grill, loves it) for the barbeque (Estinien can grill, would only do it because the threat of Thancred doing it wrong is too high).
confused 7/10 mostly because I think Krile is blackmailing him and not because I don't love everything about this.
Here's how G'reenha Tia can still win -
Anyway here's the deducted point for tanking in flip flops (PERFECTLY acceptable BLM gear btw but he's Mr Versatile.)
(I joke but the main character of my novels is a flip-flop wearing menace who could and would tank in them)
Between the padlock and key necklace and the woven bracelet right after we all went feral over the Thavnarian bracelets for couples thing so recently (and Corvos is just across the water!) he's absolutely dripping cutie pie love interest coding yet again.
(Also yes I know the lock and key thing is very funny because we were introduced to him learning he was a fancy key to a big door.)
Gains a point back because the other green g'raha thing is I'm pretty sure people use this shirt glam because it kinda looks like it has weed on it.
Don't quote me on that, vibes only.
Anyway he came colour coordinated (with his original eye colour and hair colour not the bright Allagan dalamud red dye that goes with his normal outfit) so so precise and neat, like he's going to some sort of formal event, and even with flip flops he really does seem incredibly put together like the twins or Y'shtola, just for full outfit cohesiveness.
As someone who would hold G'raha's hand on the romantic gondola vibe, 10/10.
3 out of 10 and a huge cringe if you would not. He's got to stop Striving.
Hey it's the star of the show!! Adorable hairstyle out, cute plot-important earring on, and wearing her exact character colours but adorable beach wear :)
I love that she looks kind of like she went to the girls for advice and got the top from Y'shtola and the shorts from Alisaie, and she probably was very serious and stressed about getting this right even though there's no rules and no one's judging her -
oops.
Anyway the ballet shoes are adorable and go with all the cute picto spins and twirls :)
I think the strict colour scheme does speak to the slight lack of fleshing out she got so far in the story (we don't really have any real character reason that picto in particular spoke to her and this glam isn't one of the many fun takes people had on how to dress to meet that brief ). I don't think DT did more than just repeat that she's serious and sweet and trying really hard to get out of her shell and be more fun and creative and also she's been practicing dodging really hard she shouts mid-Trust combat (bless her). But ALSO getting out of the shell is really hard and she only found out everything and got some closure in the final level 100 quests so there wasn't really much to do with her after that.
This is like her First Non-Plot-Critical Whimsy Moment and losing the hood or any cat ears entirely (and there are perfectly functional cat ears to wear in game) is a good step considering we know she wears it precisely because she needed a sort of advance PR campaign to make her look cute and approachable before she opened her mouth and started bringing down the vibe (serious scary children are SO funny though and i love that for her). Having the same top as Y'shtola is a good thing for trying to make her less childish and have her trying to show that now as she takes this huge step out from the background. I mean, it still has a slight sense of her costuming herself and pushing herself out of comfort zones as she always does, but it's 100% in character so I adore it.
1000/10 because Krile is great and there's so much going on here and it's so fun when a character's whole personality is a costume and then they're like aurgh wait do I even want that??
#ffxiv#dawntrail spoilers#I love these goobers#enough to level all the jobs through Trust rather than more varied and faster means :')
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my angel baby [part 2]
(alastor w/ angel daughter reader)
[caution: NOT PROOFREAD oh and angst hehe]
(notes: alastor joins charlie and vaggie in heaven to convince them about the hazbin hotel. angel reader physically resembles a fawn. )
[tags: @luujjvi @c-lunette @mokisano @ghostdoodlen @wildfire153 @anonymousewrites @bewitchedbymadness @thisbitchreallyneedssleep @22carolina08 @original-person]
[remember if you want to keep in touch with a particular series I write, let me know in comments or messages you want to be tagged! you will only be tagged once unless specified that you want to be tagged till the end of a particular series!]
(also once again, apologies if alastor’s last name isn’t actually altruist qwq it’ll stick till the end of this fic but I’ll try not to mention it as much)
For the first time in years, you feared being in heaven.
Not that you felt unsafe, just that you felt incredibly uncomfortable seeing your serial killer dad who's now a demon be invited to be in the place where light and goodness is it's main foundation.. even reassuring yourself that it was temporary didn't calm you down when you were flying away from him. For your own sake you even avoided where the welcoming was happening.
Ahh but.. it also didn't help that he was following you around after the show without you knowing.
After the angels had performed their song to welcome in the princess of hell, her apparent partner, and-- him.. everyone sort of went their separate ways and the visitors from below started to relax in their new yet temporary places of stay. You felt a bit of relief when you assumed Alastor would also be setting himself in to relax as well.
During heaven's performance you decided to take a breather at a local coffee shop, one where you thankfully always had a spot there where you could hide away from the huge windows of the cafe.
Although right after that, unbeknownst to you at the time, Alastor was looking for you, but obviously pretended as if he was looking for a good bite to eat.. unfortunately for him he had to behave and he couldn't eat a living walking thing until after they came back home.
Oh how bummed out he was.
You were in a far corner inside the shop, as mentioned before anyone that was able to look in through the windows wouldn't be able to see you since you were out of view. Drinking your favorite beverage that the shop offered and eating a filling snack to relax your body and mind. Safe to say you were now more in touch with your feelings and weren't overly panicked as you once were.
'Why is he here.. is he an advisor to the princess? a companion?.. some kind of servant?.. she's really young though, perhaps she's ward to him or something.. but she has her.. dad.. and I'm sure he must be alive still.. ' You thought, different theories and ideas passing by in and out your head trying to make sense of the situation.
'perhaps.. he's here to see me?..' you hoped, then scolded yourself right after,
'nono.. I can't be wanting that.. sure he raised you but he's a monster. he killed you, _____. get a grip..' you sighed deeply while massaging your temples in frustration 'even if he seemed to not.. have meant to do that. he tried to kill someone else anyway, that poor man could've died instead of you.' you tried to reason with yourself, coming to a single conclusion in the end.
Eyes glued to your drink. staring at it with intensity.
"I regret nothing." you claimed to yourself in a low mumble, not enough for anyone close to hear.
Ahh.. but you did miss him very much.. the version of him that you grew up with at least.
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You were in your warm and humble home with your father. It was a fairly cold night with rain dropping onto the roof of your home yet the warmth of the house seemed to make the cold seem almost cozy to you.
Your small footsteps could be heard running around the house, as your little seven year old self ran around you seemed to be giggling uncontrollably with a peculiar circular item in your hand.
"No running in the house _____, remember what I told you." Alastor exclaimed in slight irritation as he could hear you from afar while he was cleaning up the table from the dinner you two just had, he started slightly missing the times when you didn't know how to walk and when you simply just blabbered baby nonsense.. he definitely doesn't miss the sleepless nights of baby crying though.
You huffed and puffed as you then plopped the item on the sofa, it was a disk, a record. You then climbed yourself up and once your little body landed on the cushions you then picked yourself up once more to then grab the disk and turn to the small table right beside the sofa where a large phonograph rested on.
"Papa!" you exclaimed, "Papa! Music music!.." you pleaded, your little voice begging to once again turn on the music playing machine.
Alastor faintly chuckled at your little demands, amusing how such a small thing dares to command but nonetheless he found it silly at how you tried. "Yes yes my dear, I'll be right there." He then set the last few dirty dishes away to be cleaned soon since he couldn't say no to listening to some tunes before bed.
You smiled brightly as your little feet playfully tapped on the cushions, almost jumping. Noticing your developing excitement Alastor hurried over to you.
"Ah-ah-ahh, no jumping on the sofa my dear. I'm excited as well but I can't have you break your little head open, that'd be no fun at all!" Well.. that and he didn't wanna ruin his cushions, but nonetheless he cared for your wellbeing the most even if he wasn't fond of admitting it.
His hands gently took the disk from your hands, carefully setting the disk on the phonograph to have it play your favorite tunes. Once you two heard the amazing first few notes of jazz was when Alastor settled down beside you on the sofa and you started clapping in delight.
Alastor looked at you almost fondly, letting out a small huff of delight at your reactions. Your innocence seemed to be something that contained him from wanting to continue his murder spree, although his bloodlust always wins in the end, he seems to always willingly pause his life for you.
Plus, he loves jazz just as much as you do.. why would he miss out on this?
Your fit of giggles dwindled down but didn't stop, in a sudden burst of energy you jumped off the sofa and then started dancing similarly yet obviously a bit more goofy to how you've seen couples and single dancers dance in the nights of Mardi Gras or just parties your father took you when he would be invited. Your little dance moves seemed to be fiddled with confidence yet they were so off from what you were trying to attempt, nonetheless you were happy, and that's what Alastor secretly liked to see.
"Dance with me papa dance with me!" you pleaded again, your smaller hands grabbing his larger one and tugging at it, trying to get him to stand up.
"_____ darling no tugging, besides I just sat down my dear and I'm exhausted." He sighed, his constant smile always present yet he was visibly a bit tired from the day he had.
But oh how you persisted, and how darn adorable you were as a kid. "But papaaa!.. pretty please! I wanna dance how you and that singing lady did the last time we went on those big loud places!"
"Parties, dear." he corrected you, but let out a long sigh and got up. Because no matter how tired he was or how annoyed he seemed to be he didn't mind keeping you happy.
So that's what he did, he danced with you. Swinging you, twirling you around to the melody and the beat, your cheers of glee and uncontrollable laughter motived him to keep up with your excitement. Not only that but your smile, genuine and pure, it was what he needed to get himself to match your energy. Jazz music was what always connected you two and it always brought you together no matter what.
At the end of the song Alastor ended it by gently throwing you up in the air and catching you, letting you get your last giggles out. You both laughed together, your bond ever growing stronger. You truly did tame this bloodthirsty killer without even trying or knowing, of course you were too young to know.
Once the giggle frenzy ended you both finished your dancing with a long sigh, the phonograph ending it's segment. You then suddenly yawned and rested your head in the crook of his neck over his shoulder, snuggling for warmth and for a sudden need to sleep.
"Seems like my little fawn needs sleep now, almost past your bedtime young lady." Normally he'd scold you a bit more strictly as he usually did, but seeing as how you were basically ready to fall into a pile of dreams he just felt no need to do that.
"Sorries papa.. I forgot.." your little words muffled by your face hidden in his neck.
Alastor was never one for being touched, let alone hugged or snuggled. Oh but he had no right to complain, he's had you this close since you were a baby.. to him this just felt normal now.
Of course no one but you could be this close to him, you're his little girl after all.
"No need to worry, my dear." He stopped in front of your bedroom, carefully opening the door with a creak following after. With careful footsteps he walked towards your bed, pulling the blanket away to then gently place you on your cozy sheets with care.
Alastor gently moved any misplaced hairs away from your face as he then pulled your soft and warm blanket up to your neck. Your sleeping face reassuring him.
"Sweet dreams sweetheart." His usual smile softening a bit more before backing away and slowly heading towards the door of your room, lingering for a few extra seconds to take one last look at you before slowly closing the door and heading off to bed himself.
After the click of the door closing can be heard, you mumbled "Goodnight papa.." with a smile, even if in the end Alastor didn't get to hear it.
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You missed him, dearly.
A weight fell on your chest, your eyes begging to form tears. You missed when you had that childhood innocence, when you didn't know what he was capable of, when he was nothing but a saint to you.
It still hurt after all these years, you thought he was a good man.. a bit strict, blunt, a bit too true to himself and definitely peculiar but.. the Alastor that raised you would never do that. Until you were obviously proven otherwise.
Oh but I guess you were too into your reminiscing that you didn't notice the background gasps and small shrieks of surprise and fear, and you didn't yet feel the eventual stares and eerie presence right in front of you.
"What don't you regret, my dear?"
You choked on your drink in surprise almost spitting it out,
that fucking radio voice again.
For heaven's sake how did he find you?? He couldn't have seen you through the windows. Did he follow you??.. did you just not notice.. Oh geez maybe getting used to having your guard down during all your years in heaven definitely didn't help with this situation.
You continued coughing on your drink, even punching your chest a bit to get that last good cough out. The radio demon pulled the chair in front of you to sit across from you, not waiting to ask permission.
To him he didn't need to, he's your father after all.
Once you calmed down you immediately avoided eye contact, only giving him a once second glance to confirm it was him in hopes your ears were playing a trick on you-- they weren't.
"How.. how'd you find me.." you mumbled in slight fear.
"Oh how would I not! Sweetheart I'm your father of course, as your father I must have those parental instincts.. I always know where you are!" he exclaimed, seemingly proud of this.
"I'm guessing those 'parental instincts' didn't kick in when you stabbed me, huh." you spat with attitude, unafraid to be rude to him with so much sin he's committed.
A sharp static sound came from him, as if in slight shock at the disrespect and comeback you gave. "Watch the attitude young lady, you're still an Altruist you know."
You scoffed, hating at how indifferent you felt about your last name.
"Not by blood though.."
"I raised you, don't forget that." he spat back, starting to get irritated.
"And because of that I owe you?"
"Yes, yes indeed! Smart girl you are."
You scoffed at his response, finally getting the guts to look at him in the face. His appearance frightened you, disgusted you even.
Is this truly the man that raised you?
"As a matter of fact, I actually don't." you crossed your arms in annoyance and a huff. Your eyes couldn't help but to slowly drift to off to the people behind him and you see fellow angels you know continue to stare in awe or fear, of course at Alastor. With all eyes on you and mostly him it made you feel a little embarrassed. You cowered down a bit and your wings went over your head and shoulders a bit as if to hide you behind a 'curtain' of sorts.
Alastor obviously noticed this, but could care less about the stares.
You sighed, "Look, Alasto--"
"I think you mean to call me 'father'." he interrupted as he obviously seemed a bit sassy about it. "Even 'dad' is just simply fine and dandy with me!"
"No, I can't," you frowned, wishing you could "I won't. Not after what you did to me, to that man that night, and to every other poor soul you hurt."
Your face slowly scrunched up in disgust "You don't deserve my forgiveness, my mercy."
In embarrassment and feeling tears want to shed you grabbed your drink and got up to walk out, before you could get past Alastor though he grabbed your wrist harshly.
"Uh-- hey.. let go--"
"I didn't mean to do what I did, my dove." His voice turned into a weird version of gentle, almost uncharacteristically gentle. "I never intended to take your life away."
He sounded genuine.
Could he?.. Would he?..
Maybe, just maybe--
"No." you spat, "Maybe you didn't mean to hurt me, but you definitely meant to hurt others. That's something I can't forgive and I'm sure your victims wouldn't neither." you glared at him, setting your foot down. "I refuse to call you my father, not until I know that you repent for your sins but knowing you I highly doubt that." You snatched your wrist away and for a slight second you stopped caring about what others thought when they'd see this "Besides, you killed me two weeks after I turned eighteen.. don't even include the years that passed since the 30s and present time so clearly you can't control me anymore old man."
But Alastor wouldn't go down that fast nor easily.
His sharp smile widened, you felt immense dread.
"Oh little one, no matter how far you are or how much you try to disown me you are forever connected to me. I made you who you are and you can try to run and fly off however long you want but in the end you're tied to me whether you like it or not. Even in death."
He seemed deathly serious with his statements so much so that you could've sworn you could see his shadow giggling and smirking in a way that seemed even worse and more than evil.
Your breath quietly hitched in fear in noticing this to the point where it even forced you to take a step back. He let out a sinister chuckle before you couldn't help but speed out of the shop and flew out.
You couldn't handle him, he was shameless when showing this side of him.. how could he be this shameless and normal?? How could he act like this and be proud about it? He killed people and doesn't regret it, you being the only exception just didn't feel right and it wasn't fair!
Not to you.
He may have been able to silently control you and vaguely manipulate you to believe he was anything but a bad person back when you were alive and young but now your eyes are wide open and so is your heart.
You have such a bad feeling about this whole thing, he was up to no good he just couldn't be-- he had to be using the princess as an excuse to do something shitty.
Good thing you had plenty of connections, if you just played your cards right...
Hey.. wasn't there something about a court meeting happening soon?
On the other hand Alastor stayed sitting there still chucking devilishly, his intentions and true feelings smeared and unclear.
With a snap of his fingers a cup of black coffee appeared and he began drinking it with a sense of casual glee and eyes closed in delight. Until he felt eyes on him, two nearby to be exact. He opened one eye to look at the angels staring at him and they both seemed like more biblically accurate angels, both having one eye and all. The radio demon shot them an evil grin.
"Oh adolescents these days, rebellious aren't they." He cackled before going back to drinking his coffee, the angels creeped out by his interaction soon scurried away from him.
The fear. He enjoyed it, just not really from you.
(thank you all who asked for part 2!! of course I had to deliver since you all really wanted it and honestly I love adding flashbacks to memories Alastor and the reader had when they were alive, makes their ending on earth just that more painful (as if it wasn't clear I love angst). Honestly I don't mind making more parts for this! If the demand is consistent and you guys still want to keep up with it I have a few ideas to keep this going! Once again thank you so much for reading!! Now I must finish writing for other stories lolllll!)
(p.s: i highly recommend listening to any mitski song while reading this I think it fits well especially with the flashback scene hehe)
#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel angst#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hellaverse#alastor#alastor platonic#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel spoilers#hazbin spoilers#radio demon#alastor x reader platonic#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel platonic#hazbin hotel headcanon#hazbin hotel heaven
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☆Strawberry Crush
Warnings...18+, wlw, loser!Ellie, fem!reader, a few reader descriptions based on the song (lipgloss, nails - nothing body/skin/hair-wise), Ellie is...kind of a stalker, honestly?, porn with a plot, submasc!Ellie, domfem!reader, Ellie is really eager and awkward, sloppy kisses, food play? (strawberry juice is involved), fingering (r!receiving), face sitting, sixty nine
Word Count:3.2k || MDNI Banner Creds. || Donations 4 Palestine
Notes ☆ Kinda hate this but I've had this damn song in my head for fucking weeks and I needed to write something about it (Spotify link in title).Should have done this when my theme was red but fuck it
Ellie's green eyes flit carelessly over the obviously bruised and beaten-up avocado in her hand, turning the bulbous fruit around over and over again as if she's truly considering buying the pitiful thing. There's a slight feeling of mushiness to it that kind of makes the hairs on her arms stand up - whatever poor fuck decides to pick this thing up once she puts it back in its crate is bound to find nothing but brown sludge on the inside.
Each turn of the overripened avocado is accompanied by a 'subtle' look around the market, her gaze fixing to the door each time the little rusted brown bell at the top of the doorframe jingles.
It'd be so embarrassing if she mixed up the time.
Not that this isn't humiliating enough already. Pathetic, even. No one in their right mind drives thirty minutes from home to look this hard, and for this long at an avocado.
On about the fifth bell ring in three minutes she can feel herself getting impatient. Today was Monday, Ellie was sure of that - the farmers from downtown had surely brought freshly picked batches of fruit and vegetables already unless something had gone awry. Maybe she should just head home and stop acting like a fucking crazy person. It's not like the average person keeps on schedule to a T every week. And even if they did, it's worrying that Ellie even knows that schedule. At least this part of it anyway.
Ellie juggles with the thought for a moment but ultimately decides to leave, placing the unfortunate-looking avocado back in its crate. It's just then when that annoying little bell dings again. She knows she shouldn't get her hopes up and yet she can't seem to help herself, looking toward the farmers market entrance to discern who it was that triggered the movement of the brass bell.
The thought that she was just about to leave makes Ellie's stomach turn. She'd have missed you completely. But just like clockwork, every Monday morning, you're here. And just like clockwork, every Monday morning, she gets to see you.
Ellie has given herself every excuse as to why her little habit isn't creepy. She's just trying to hype herself up to actually talk to you, and somehow during that time she also managed to figure out the exact schedule for when fresh produce is brought to this specific market so that she could catch you every Monday doing what you usually do. Buying strawberries.
You like those a lot.
Or, Ellie assumes you do. Why else would you buy them so religiously? Every Monday you come to buy strawberries. Various other things as well but she's noticed you take your time with the berries in particular - inspecting the fruit in each little green basket for at least a few minutes before finding one or two little baskets to buy and take home with you.
Ellie's practiced how to approach you in the mirror in her apartment before leaving the house more times than she'd like to admit, cringing at every little stutter and awkward phrase.
"You come here often?" No. Who the fuck even says that in real life? "So you like strawberries?" Well, duh.
It looks so simple in shows. Her friends make it look like nothing. Then there's Ellie. Reciting cliche lines from movies.
Not that any of that really matters though. Normally by the time you've gone up to check out your items, Ellie has already managed to convince herself that she lost her chance.
Maybe next time
Next time, for sure. But definitely not this time, no. This time she's too distracted by how delicious you look; the sway of your hips, the pretty smile you flash to the staff, the glittery pink tinted gloss spread carefully across your lips.
Your nails are red today, coming to a rounded point.
Ellie's tongue darts out to wet her bottom lip as her mind wanders. Those nails would make such pretty streaks in her back.
For some reason, the thought that she may be shamelessly staring at you doesn't cross her mind. Until it's too late that is. Ellie's eyes widen in absolute terror when your gaze catches hers, face dropping back to the crate of avocados she'd been pretending to look through a moment ago.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
She definitely can't approach you today. Not after you'd caught her staring - no - gawking at you so blatantly. In fact, getting out of this godforsaken market has shot to the very top of her priority list, a task she seeks to accomplish quickly, with her head downcast in shame and embarrassment.
It's just her luck that instead of effectively making it out of the door she stumbles over the dragging, unraveled white laces of the run-down sneakers on her feet, toppling to the floor if not for the similarly misfortuned person she winds up tackling.
"Shit! Sorry, sorry, I-I'm so sorry" she stutters out, cringing at the sight of once unbruised red fruit hitting the hard tile of the market floor. Her eyes meet yours and again she's frozen and embarrassed, a deep shade of red splaying her freckled cheeks and tips of her ears. You would be angry if it weren't for how cute she looked. You sigh.
"It's fine, really. Just...make sure you look forward next time you're walking, okay?" The soft, reassuring smile you offer her as you speak damn near melts her where she stands.
"Right."
There's a beat of awkward silence, Ellie nervousely tugging at her ring and pinky fingers as she gives you a small hesitant nod. "I should-"
"Maybe you could help me pick out some new ones?" You ask quickly, interrupting her, gesturing to the strawberry littered tile.
It's the first time she's spoken to you and given her clear anxiety, she likely wouldn't end up speaking to you on her own again. Ellie nods quickly, mouth slightly agape, though at this point she's lost all of her words. She simply picks up the dropped berries, some of which are now a little flattened and soft on one side from the impact, standing straight once they're all gathered to help you get new baskets.
"You okay?" You ask, as Ellie hasn't said much of anything in the past few minutes.
"Oh, yeah...sorry just...a lot on my mind" she murmurs, quieting back down again as she attentively unpacks your produce.
She doesn't even know how she wriggled her way into this situation. She'd thought for sure you'd call her a freak or a psycho when you let her know you were aware of her little routine. Instead, you just suggested that she help you with the rest of your groceries.
"It's a bit of a hassle trying to bring them up to my apartment alone. Plus...you kinda owe me for the tackle, yeah?"
You had feared the boldness of your invitation may give her pause but Ellie agreed without reluctance.
"A lot on your mind? Like what?"
"Like...how you don't seem unnerved about...y'know." Ellie murmurs, leaning up against your kitchen counter, the little giggle you give in response sending her heart rate up.
"I was honestly just waiting to see if you would actually come speak to me"
"Wait, really?"
You turn to her from where you were organizing things in your fridge, a small bowl of freshly washed strawberries in hand. You set it down, gently sliding the bowl out toward Ellie as an invitation to take one, which she accepts, twisting at the leaves until they come off of the top before biting into it. It's quite large, and very sweet she notices, a bit of juice dribbling down her chin as her teeth sink in, her hand clumsily going to guard any more from falling down.
"Yeah." you answer, to which Ellie raises a questioning eyebrow.
"You're cute, Ellie." you clarify, playfully rolling your eyes at her obliviousness. " And messy"
Before she realizes it, you're in front of her, holding a napkin to her now berry juice-stained chin and neck, readying yourself to pat her dry. Your lips are incredibly close, dangerously so, but she does her best to ignore it, popping the rest of strawberry into her mouth before gently taking your hand in hers to stop you.
"I can- "
"Just let me, okay?" You chuckle a bit, shaking your head. "You really don't know when a girl is trying to flirt with you, huh?"
Ellie blinks, staring at you as if you've just said something ridiculous, her fruit filled cheek almost making her look like a chipmunk in the moment. The insistence on cleaning her up, the invitation to your apartment in the first place, the fact that you don't even seem to question her infatuation with you. It all makes sense now. And she'd taken way too long to notice.
There isn't a thought process behind Ellie's actions this time, just impulse as she leans forward, closing the distance between you both and crashing her lips onto yours. A shiver of shock runs through her as you reciprocate, regardless of how unideal the kiss may seem - cold, sticky fruit juice now being shared between the both of you, creating a thin coat of strawberry and saliva on your connected lips flowing down your chins and slowly making its way to the collars of your shirts.
Ellie pulls back enough to actually swallow what's left of the strawberry and breathe out a quick "I'm sorry", though a part of her is too fascinated by the look of you with transparent red fluid trailing along your skin to be genuinely apologetic.
"I don't mind a little mess." You whisper in response, swiping your thumb along her chin to collect some of the juic. Something about the girl being so desperate to kiss you that she was unconcerned about the inevitable messy nature of said kiss put butterflies fluttering in your stomach. You keep her pressed up against your kitchen counter as you allow yourself to give in to your desires, only dethatching your kiss-swollen lips from Ellie's to press opened mouth kisses along the column of her throat, licking at the sweet red liquid that's almost managed to make its way into the loose, black wifepleaser she's wearing.
"Y-you don't think this is happening too fast?" she questions, despite her clear willingness to let you do as you please, her words coming out between heavy breaths, her entire face painted a rosy shade of pink.
"Would you like me to stop?" You ask, eyebrow quirked upward as you halt your advances and look at her.
Ellie shakes her head immediately at that, tightening her grip around your waist. She can't help but think that was an idiotic question for her to ask anyways. This is finally her chance, and she refuses to fuck up by overthinking everything as she has been up until this point. Your lips connect again with no second guesses this time, Ellie taking her opportunity to slip her hands underneath your top, pulling it over your head. Her mouth takes to your skin, sloppily lapping at the strawberry juice flowing along your neck and pulling your bra straps down enough to expose your breasts.
"Fuck, Ellie"
You slip your leg between her thighs while she's occupied with "cleaning you up" with her tongue, reveling at the way she whimpers and attempts to resist the urge to roll her hips when your knee makes contact with her clothed cunt. Her attempts prove futile, of course, the poor girl huffing and moaning against your skin as she grinds herself against your leg.
"So fuckin' needy, weren't you?" You tease, unable to help the amused laugh that escapes you at the sight of the girl humping desperately at your knee.
All Ellie manages in response is a nod, whining even louder when you press against her harder, the seam of her shorts pushing up against her clit at the right angle, her movements becoming faster and more erratic.
"G'na make me cu- fuck fuck" Ellie's muscles tense for a moment before releasing again, short, ragged breaths and muffled grunts punctuating her last few thrusts against your leg as she finishes in her boxers. Embarrassed, she buries her face into the crook of your neck, her already blushed face becoming redder at her unintended quickness.
"Shit...sorry" She murmurs against your skin, not sure if she should even look you in the eye right now.
You stifle a giggle and shake your head, running your fingers through her soft, auburn hair as a means to reassure her before lacing your fingers with hers. With your free hand, you lift her chin so that she looks at you.
"It's okay. Doesn't mean I'm finished with you."
The softness of your tone seems to soothe her, though the bashfulness still lingers on her features, green eyes casting downward regardless of your words. You press a quick kiss to the tip of her nose, and, fingers still intertwined, lightly tug her away from the kitchen counter on her wobbly legs over to the loveseat in your living room.
You lightly jerk your head in the direction of the sofa, letting go of her hand once she's seated. "Lay down for me baby"
Ellie, in all of her eagerness doesn't so much as hesitate, laying back onto the soft cushions, reaching out as if to pull you down with her. Instead of straddling her like she'd wanted you to though, you stay standing, a mischvieous giggle escaping as you lean down to kiss her on the lips once more before pulling back.
"What's wrong?" She asks, her brows furrowed in confusion.
"Nothing El. Just relax, yeah?" You murmur in response, hands now focused on slipping off your shorts. That's answer enough for her, Ellie's eyes widening a little bit as they fixate on watching your lower body, her tongue darting out to wet her lips as you pull off your shorts and panties in one go. You were soaked, and you make sure to let her know it, teasingly trailing a finger through your folds before pressing it to her lips, Ellie gladly sucking the digit into her mouth without instruction.
"Aw, look at that, I didn't even have to ask"
Ellie just nods, pink lips still caught around your finger. She's well aware of how pathetic she looks right now, but she can't bring herself to care at this point as she's too busy savoring the taste of you on her tongue, eyes damn near rolling to the back of her head off that alone. When you take your finger out of her mouth she whines.
"Wanna taste you more... please"
Her pleading pulls a chuckle from your throat, your finger gently running across her bottom lip as you speak.
"God, you're so impatient, baby. Does my sweet girl want my pussy in her mouth, hm?"
She nods vigorously, grabbing at your hand again to pull you toward her. This time, you oblige, allowing the girl to guide you to sit on her face, her slender hands catching around your hips. She licks a bold stripe along your slit before pressing a kiss to your clit, the amount of times she's thought about doing that exact thing noe finally coming into practice.
Ellie eats at you like a woman starved, lapping up every drop of your arousal, her lips latching around your swollen clit and sucking at it. The sloppy, wet noises coming from her mouth on your cunt, the muffled moaning and whining escaping her - it's obnoxious. But it's the sexiest thing you've seen ina while, her gaze never leaving you as she buries herself closer to you. "This what you wanted, isn't it baby? Spent so much time watching me 'n all you could think about - fuck - was having that pretty mouth pressed up against my cunt like this?"
Your teasing is condescening, your hand tangling into her short locks, forcing her head nice and close as you rut yourself against her tongue. The poor thing can't stop herself from squirming, pressing her thighs together, and for a moment, even detatching a hand from your thigh and snaking it down her own body to slip her hand into her shorts. You don't notice it at first, but when you do, it's clear to her you aren't having it.
"Nuh-uh, none of that, pretty girl." You lift up into a hover above her head, reaching back and wrapping your hand around her wrist to stop her. She whines again, her frustration obvious in the line that forms between her brows. "You wanna ask this time?"
"S-sorry, you're just so fucking sexy, I need you to touch me, please"
You have half a mind to make her wait longer. To pin her hands over her head and prop yourself back onto her mouth, but an idea comes to mind that you can't just ignore. You giggle, giving her a simple 'okay' and before she knows it you've shifted on top of her, settling yourself into a hover over her face again, but this time facing the opposite direction. She can't see what your doing, but she feels it when you start sliding her shorts and boxers down before leaning down and spitting on her already glistening cunt.
"Oh my fucking god..."
Ellie's thighs are shaking around your head already, her hands gripping at the fat of your ass as she pulls you back down onto her mouth. Your muffled cries of pleasure fill the apartment, the vibrations from her moans against you only serving to drive you insane. A thin layer of sweat coats your bodies as you chase a simultaneous orgasm, hips bucking and rolling against each others tongues with primal urgency as that familiar coil tightens within your lower stomachs.
"Fuckfuckfuck- coming, I'm coming" Ellie's mouth detatches from you as she's the first to go, her trembling legs clamping around your head and trapping you against her. She's shockingly quick to replace her mouth with her fingers, slipping them inside of you without warning. She's almost as despereate to have you cum on her face as she was to cum herself, and to her luck, you unravel above her soon after. Her mouth comes back to you are you finish, lapping up every single drop of cum you give her, fingers still lazily pumping in and out of your dripping hole.
It takes a bit to float back down to reality, your head resting limp on her thigh as you slowly start to catch your breath, twitching and shaking too much to actually move on your own. Ellie's not much better, her head plopped down onto the couch cushion, gently kneading your ass with her hands and pressing sleepy kisses to your inner thighs. When you're finally able to move, it's not much, only adjusting yourself enough so that your faces are level, nuzzling your body close so that you can both lay next to each other on the couch. There's a peacful silence between the both of you for a while, your foggy brains still processing how far you'd gotten with one another in the span of a few hours.
"So...you really like me then? Like actually?" Ellie breathes out, a hand lightly rubbing along your side.
You laugh and give her a playful punch to the arm, the fact that she even felt the need to ask that almost comical to you after everything.
"Ow! What was that for?" She asks, feigning as if the light hit actually hurt.
"Of course I like you, dummy" You murmur, kissing her cheek. "I've liked you the whole time"
Reblogs are appreciated ☆ tags: @half-of-a-gay, @porcelainmystery,
#☆kennie's works#lesbian#tlou2#wlw#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x fem!reader#loser!ellie#ellie williams tlou2#ellie the last of us#ellie williams smut#ellie tlou#the last of us 2#ellie williams#tlou ellie
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SPIDER | tom riddle
summary; tom riddle has a peculiar way of showing his affection, but he's nothing if not protective.
word count; 1625
notes; I woke up this morning with inspiration and I grabbed my laptop and banged this out before even getting up. if you hate it, I literally don't care <3
The flames of the fireplace flickered soothingly, the last warmth spilling out towards you in a subtle glow, hiding the reflections of the lake that danced around the room. Several other students were also still milling around, the Slytherin common room was never truly empty, not unless it was the summer break. Pulling the blanket a little tighter around your shoulders, you snuggled down a bit further, only stilling when the cold sense of someone else crept down your neck.
This was a familiar chill, though. You were aware of someone else’s presence, and yet no part of that was threatening. A familiar cologne reached your nose, and before you’d even turned, you were greeting the man who stood behind you, “Hello, Tom.”
“Why are you down here?” He cut right to the point, never one for formalities, and your lips flickered up at the edges as he walked around the edge of the sofa and into your view. “You’re never up at this time.”
Always so observant. Your smile formed a little more every time he revealed something extra he’d noticed about you. That you liked a particular table in the library, that your favourite biscuits were chocolate hobnobs, that you didn’t usually stay up this late. Tom Riddle had a peculiar way of showing affection. Most people assumed he was cold, unfeeling, harsh. They couldn't be more wrong.
Tom Riddle was a walking, talking, bleeding heart. He was an open wound, snapping like an injured animal when anyone came close. Tom Riddle was full of emotion, it just happened to be hidden behind a thick stone wall. But if you were allowed close enough to look through the cracks, the true Tom Riddle shone like golden light within.
“I could ask you the same thing.” You teased, and he rolled his eyes, taking half a step closer to you and perching on the arm of the couch elegantly.
“You know I go for walks at night.”
“And where do you go for these walks? What do you do on your oh-so-mysterious nightly walks?” You turned your body further towards him, the blanket slipping down from its place around your chin, and those calculating brown eyes tracked its fall along your arm.
“That’s none of your business, and you’re avoiding the question.”
“You’re avoiding mine.” You retorted, and he simply gave you a dry look. Reaching out, Tom lifted the edge of the blanket back up and over your shoulder, securing it back into place.
“Answer me.”
“Fine,” You sighed, head rolling across your shoulders and back towards the fireplace, watching the growing flames once again, “I saw a spider in my room. It crawled down the edge of my bed right before I could get in, and now I don’t want to go to sleep.”
You could feel Tom’s stare on you, the silence stretching between you both as he let the confession settle. There was half a chance he’d scoff, and half a chance he’d simply walk away now that he got his answer. He seemed to be debating between which one to go for. “Why didn’t Pansy get it out for you?”
Another question, not an option you’d considered, but not a surprise from him. “She’s not here, she’s at Luna’s tonight.”
More silence, and you took the chance to observe him instead. Tom Riddle was not one to cower away from a stare, and so as you watched him, he watched you too. Finally, he broke the silence, “I’ll get it for you.”
Now, that was a surprise. “You will?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Does it matter?” He shot back, standing once again, making it clear to you that you were to do the same, or he’d leave without you. Dropping the blanket down to the couch, the enchanted item folded itself back up and into the storage trunk you’d taken it from, as you smoothed out your jumper and followed Tom’s already retreating steps.
“It doesn’t matter, but I’m curious. Humour me.” You caught up with him, and he cut you a glance from the side of his eye. “You should also know that I’m very grateful, whether you choose to tell me or not. Thank you.”
The rigid lines of his shoulders softened a little at that. Should you know how to, Tom Riddle could be played like a fiddle. You smothered a snicker at the rhyme in your head as he let slip a small sigh. “I don’t want you to sit in the common room all night when I can perfectly easily take care of the problem.”
Your smile was full now, following him silently through the halls as he guided the way to your dorm. Opening the door, he was respectful enough to ignore the piles of mess on your roommate’s side of the dorm, looking straight towards your untouched bed, and the mug of now cold tea sitting on your bedside table.
“Which side?”
“The far one.” You mumbled, tension creeping back into your body. What if it wasn’t there anymore? What if it had crawled elsewhere, and was now hidden somewhere in the room, ready to strike, or—
The screech of your bed frame moving snapped you from your thoughts as Tom pulled it away from the wall. It moved again, jarring along the wooden floor. Tom remained still, eyes moving for a second, two, before he suddenly strode forwards, ducking down and his hand shot out. He straightened a second later, with his hands cupped, and turned to you.
He nodded his head towards the window, and you scurried across the room ahead of him, flinging open the window and backing far away as he neared. That made him scoff, rolling his eyes at your behaviour once again. He held his hands out of the window, shaking them off and letting the spider fall through the air, before pulling back, and clicking the catch back into place. He double-checked it, before casting his eye over the rest of the room.
“Let me check for any more.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” Your words fell on deaf ears, as Tom shifted your bed back into place, before peering behind both desks, your dressers and the wardrobe, and finally, the bathroom. He methodically checked each and every space within your dorm for you, leaving you to sit in the centre of your once again safe bed, watching him with a soft smile. Before leaving the bathroom, he washed his hands clean of the creature that had been crawling within them, before returning to you.
“No more.”
“Thank you, Tom.” You whispered, his chin tucking in a single nod, but a frown on his face.
“You already thanked me.”
“There’s no law saying I can’t thank you twice, or as many times as I please, for that matter.” Your smirk made him press his lips into a line, but he had no comeback and hated not having the final word. He was calculating, something else to say, something to spin this back onto you—
“Your tea is cold. You should reheat that, so you don’t waste it.”
Your gaze flickered to the mug, and back to him, shrugging. “I don’t feel like having it now.”
His sigh sounded frustrated, and he took a few more steps into the room, towards you, instead of the door. His voice had softened once again as he took you in, looking down at you with a gentler gaze than most ever saw. “Will you go to sleep now?”
“Soon, I think I’ll just read for a while, I’m not too tired yet.”
He nodded. His jaw clenched as he glanced towards the door, but made no move to leave. The clock in the corner ticked, seconds passing by loudly in the space, and then, “Would you like to join me on my walk?”
His words were fragile, a rare show of vulnerability from him. Uttered quietly into the air that hung between you both, and your gasp almost startled him. “Really?”
He glared, answering your question with a fitting answer. Tom never said things he didn’t mean, and you knew that. Everyone knew that. But he’d never let anyone go on his walks before, it was a hotly debated topic and a running joke within the group about what exactly took place on these walks, and what nefarious things he likely got up to.
“I’d like that.”
“Then put on some proper shoes, and quickly.” You did as he had, rather gruffly, commanded, swapping out the comfy slippers for some boots, and throwing on another jumper for extra warmth. Tom waited for you at the door, holding it open for you to step through. “Do you like the lake at night?”
“I’ve never been out to the lake at night.”
He made a quiet sound of acknowledgement, a hum under his breath. “Then that’s where we’ll go. You’ll like it. It’s… peaceful.”
His hand flexed at his side as you walked together, and after clearing the common room and entering the silent corridors, you slipped your hand into his own.
He stiffened, for only a second, before his fingers wrapped back around yours, and a smile pulled on his lips as he ducked his head. You and Tom had been dancing this line for years now, something more but not quite enough.
Not yet.
But you’d get there, someday. His actions told you enough. Enough to know that he felt what you did too, that you were certainly headed somewhere, on a collision course together. You belonged to Tom Riddle as much as he belonged to you.
So, for now, holding his hand as you walked the lake, and letting him chase spiders out of your room was enough.
#tom riddle#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle/reader#tom riddle x you#tom riddle/you#slytherin boys#harry potter#christian coulson/reader#christian coulson x reader#christian coulson/you#christian coulson x you
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Missing scenes?
Please, go insane with me. Again.
I'm still digging through the chiastic structure looking for Clues, and BOY HOWDY am I finding them.
Number one, I'm pretty certain I found TWO middle points.
There's one spot where the current show as it is meets up and extends out from. And another spot that isn't, but which I think is the True Middle. And I'll tell you what, I came at it a little bass-ackwards, and somehow accidentally wound up with the True Middle before I came across what I've been calling the Fool's Middle.
Okay. Great. Yay me. When I first found the Fool's Middle, I thought it must be the True Middle, and I'd been messing up this whole while. Except, I've been finding some very clear matches in some odd spots to the "right" of the middle, if we lay the story out in a left-to-right order. That shouldn't be. Chiastic structure is a mirror. Matches should be on opposite sides of the middle. But my assumed middle is working out MUCH better than the middle that actually falls in the center.
What the what.
Unless we're missing scenes.
Which brings me to find number two.
Several people have suggested that the scenes might be out of order, given the vehemence that Crowley shouts this at the demons before they attack the ball. I thought so too, and I figured the chiastic structure breakdown would show me what order they belong in.
Well, almost.
As I busily sorted through looking for mirror parallels, I started to notice that there's one chunk that has no real matches on the other side of the middle. Not the Fool's Middle, and not the True Middle. No real echoes, either.
The Resurrectionists minisode.
The present-day scenes that are interspersed with the Resurrectionists flashbacks have parallels. Just not any moments from the actual flashbacks themselves.
I figured I must just be blind, and decided to comb through that particular bit more thoroughly.
Here's the first thing I found:
Note 138: "We do a miracle so no one knows it's him, now no one knows it's him. Nice one, us." Hand-written note: "It's definitely Gabriel."
Note 134: Crowley brings Aziraphale to see the Gabriel statue in the 1700s. (1827, I know. They're notes, bear with me.) Hand-written note: "It's definitely Gabriel." "We do a miracle so no one knows it's him."
Okay, awesome, so there ARE mirror parallels in the Resurrectionists minisode. When Aziraphale says "it's definitely Gabriel" mirrors when no one knows it's Gabriel. Cool. No missing scenes. Yeah?
Oh, no. Not so freaking fast. Here's the next thing I found:
Note 160: Wee Morag is shot. (By the grave gun.) Hand-written note: "You are out of order!"
Note 161: "YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER!" Hand-written note: this is pretty much where the mirror of the Resurrectionists minisode should go.
Yeah. You'd think Wee Morag getting shot would have a solid mirror, right? But it doesn't. Unless you count Crowley yelling about demons -- or something -- being out of order. Hmmmm . . .
Okay, let's keep digging.
Note 171: Crowley vanishes down a hole. Handwritten note: Something's wrong -- like a hangover.
Note 170: Something's wrong, go to my friend. Hand-written note: Crowley vanishes down the hole to Hell.
Hot damn. Here we go.
Believe me when I felt a little bit like Aziraphale reading that his cocoa doth grow cold. A tad like Crowley was yelling right at me. At least, for a moment.
I can't find any other mirrors for Resurrectionists. I've looked. I'm not seeing anything.
Crowley can tell something isn't right. Something else is meant to be happening now, not a demon attack. And to him, it feels like a hangover -- that laudanum hangover, that ended in him getting sucked to Hell.
In the book, we learn that Crowley has a fine time trying to describe helicopters to Leonardo Da Vinci. In the Resurrectionists minisode, he tells Mr. Dalrymple he might want to wash his hands.
I don't think Crowley can see the future. In season 1, when Aziraphale asks him how the end of the world is going to go, he says rather irritably that he's never done it before, it's not like they let you go round again until you get it right. I don't think Crowley knows precisely what's wrong or what's meant to be happening when he feels that hangover mirror -- but his talent is time, and through that sense, he can tell whatever's happening isn't right.
Thus why he demands of the demons -- what are you doing here? What are any of you doing here? And then tells them, you are OUT OF ORDER!
The demon attack has plenty of parallels, it is supposed to happen -- but it's not meant to happen just yet. It's too soon. We need the Resurrectionist parallels first. Once we have those, the Fool's Middle falls away, and the True Middle takes its rightful place.
Now, my big question: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MISSING SCENES?
I'm NOT a fan of "The Magic Trick You Didn't See" theory. I don't think the Metatron has Dicky Bird to do with re-writing the Book of Life, which, by the way, we have no evidence of one way or the other even functioning as described. We have three different characters tell us two different things about it, and we never see it in action. Also, the only things that are missing and that has Crowley out-of-sorts are the Resurrectionist parallels. We're missing a couple of scenes that should match those. Just a few things. But important things, I should think.
Who took them? What events now suddenly didn't happen? And why were they taken?
Listen to me, I'm so wrapped up in this I'm writing like this is just fact. These are my thoughts. The chiastic structure has yielded some awesome stuff, stuff I think is really true. Is this true? Do I have this right? I don't know, and I've certainly been wrong about stuff before. But I do think I'm on to something here.
Also, now that I think of it for a moment, those are maybe not the right questions. DID someone take the missing scenes? Or did time jump forward past them? If time did just skip ahead -- hello, book shop clock -- why did it do that? And why can Crowley tell it did it this time, but isn't concerned about the other times? We all know about the book shop clock jumping ahead during the kiss scene, but the damn thing jumps ahead almost every time it's in a shot. Always ahead, though, never back. There are a lot of references to time, so I think it's important somehow.
#good omens#good omens 2#crowley#good omens meta#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#good omens analysis#ineffable mystery#good omens fan theory#good omens chiastic structure
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hi! when I get depressed it's really hard to make sure I'm eating as much as I should so here are some things I eat when I don't have the energy to do shit
these are depression meals so they are in no way balanced and an ideal diet, this is to get you through it. if you have depression, some of these on your shopping list are a good idea. I update this list whenever I remember something
I'm also assuming the only equipment you have is a bowl, spoon, sink, microwave and at most, a can opener. in no particular order:
granola bars and adjacent things like nuts, dried fruit, etc
frozen sausages: break them in half and microwave, if they're too cold to break you can run them under hot water or leave them out for a couple minutes, you need the break them or they might explode
canned corn: open and eat with a spoon, you can strain and microwave if you want it hot
cheese: put it in a bowl and microwave till it melts or till it's crispy, your choice but if you do just cheese don't use a porous bowl
instant noodles: don't use a pan, use a bowl, empty the contents in the bowl, add water till at least half of the noodle thing is submerged, microwave for 2-4 minutes, mix and eat
regular noodles: use a bigger bowl than you normally would, add some dry pasta to it and enough water to cover the pasta but not much more, it might overflow, and microwave for a few minutes more than the package says to boil, drain the water and put in whatever, condiment, sauce, cheese, sausages, frozen veggies, and microwave again, it's more time intensive but also more nutrients so
canned beans: you can eat as is if it comes in a sauce, but if you got the ones with the clear liquid you can strain and rinse and if you don't have a strainer, open the can just a little from the tab and open a faucet, let the water run into the can and adjust the position of the lid till the water can go in without any of the beans coming out, it'll dissolve the liquid and it'll flow out, leave it for a bit then shake it, turn it upside to drain, let it refill then leave it again, repeat till the water over flowing isn't that weird liquid
crackers/biscuits: keep a stash of biscuits that you can eat, bonus if you can eat them with milk or tea or coffee or juice
juice: buy your favorite and keep a bottle in the fridge or frozen if you suspect you're starting to spiral and might need it in a few hours
readymade meals: whenever you go to do your grocery shopping, buy just one premade meal
vegetables: keep a vegetable you like that you can eat raw like cucumbers or carrots
fruits: keep a fruit you know you can eat or you know you can drown in something else, for example I don't like apples but I can eat them if they're covered in peanut butter
sweets: you can keep a favorite hard candy to get yourself salivating idk for me if helps activate some hunger while getting rid of the painful part of being hungry
butters and spreads: you can find premade sandwich spread with chicken in them, or jams or spreads that are savory like peanut/almond/cashew butter or sweet like a chocolate/vanilla spread
rice: if you make rice and ever have some left over you can freeze it and eat it later, you can also do that with rice in a bag
tofu: you can eat it raw as long as you drain the liquid it comes with
condiments: almost all of these things can be improved or 'seasoned' with ketchup, mayo, mustard, ranch, tartar sauce, marinara, etc. it'll give some flavor and make it taste better but don't microwave sauces unless they're properly mixed with the food especially mayo based ones, they can get weird
frozen vegetables: any time you're using the microwave to make these things, throw in a handful of frozen vegetables and microwave for a little longer
cereal: pair cereal with foods like yogurt instead of milk, you can add chocolate drink powder to the yogurt before adding the cereal which is really nice, you can also make it directly in the yogurt container if it's small enough
electrolytes: you can make them a bottle using two dashes of salt (1/4 tsp), a 2second squeeze of a honey bottle (2 tsp) and some kind of juice for a better flavor
potatoes: stab them all around with a fork, microwave for about six minutes, turn it over then microwave again, keeping microwaving and turning till it's soft on the inside and you can eat it
order out: if you can afford to order food, order it, some tips to get the most out of what you order 1. order a family box of food to store in the fridge 2. when you microwave it, do it with some water in a glass with your bowl/food in the microwave
if opening the tab on a can is keeping you from eating, try this. it'll open the can, you can use a knife, the back of a spoon, etc.
if it keeps you from spiraling, it's worth doing. and if it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly. eating something is better than eating nothing.
hope this helps, if you can, please add more things!
#actually mentally ill#actually bpd#actually cptsd#actually traumatized#hope this helps#food#spiralling#mental health advice#mental health hacks
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Appalachian Sihtric Karaoke Night - headcanon Blurb
AN: The song that inspired this is "Would You Go With Me" by Josh Turner I hope you all enjoy this (also I have seen this happen I'm not even joking)
Collection masterlist here!
Summary: Karaoke night at the bar.
CW: Bar time but no drinking, karaoke, pregnancy reveal, language
Pairings: Sihtric Kjartansson x reader!
Sihtric watched you as you brought Gisela up onto the stage at the karaoke night, both completely sober yet acting it up as though you're five shots deep.
Neither Sihtric or Uhtred were particularly fond of karaoke, especially in front of strangers, but they both loved their women.
You sang Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac.
Both of you had prepared, having taken style inspiration from Stevie Nicks for this particular outing.
Sihtric couldn't help but watch you the entire time, even if Uhtred would talk to him.
He loved hearing you sing, no matter what your voice sounded like.
Though, it was helpful that he felt amused at you singing break up songs as though you had experienced such a thing.
The first time he heard you singing a song by Taylor Swift, particularly if it were All Too Well, he would panic.
Assume you were about to break up with him for some reason unknown to him.
What else was he supposed to think you were belting it at the top of your lungs sobbing like a mad woman.
First time you sang this song, he nearly started crying.
The boy was truly scared, he didn't understand why would sing of heartbreak unless he had unknowingly broken your heart.
And then you explained to him you only ever pictured fictional couples.
Also that it is a criminal offense if you don't sing Fleetwood Mac.
It eased his nerves a lot.
Now he can just watch you bewitch those who would never know you, just to know by the end of the night you would be in bed together.
When you were finished, both you and Gisela came over to them laughing as though you couldn't believe you had done that despite having planned this for days.
Including rehearsals.
Uhtred pulled Gisela into him.
Sihtric tried to do the same for you, yet you stayed just out of reach.
He raised his eyebrow and tried again, only for you to move back slightly.
"Baby."
"Yes?"
"Get over here."
"Nope. Cause it's your turn."
He would stare at you as though you had grown two heads.
He didn't sing.
Correction. He didn't sing sober.
You always begged him to, he had such a nice voice you thought.
But he would only indulge you if he was drunk or if you were sick.
So you stepped closer and kissed his cheek.
"I won't make you if you don't want to. But I would love to hear you sing something for me."
Sihtric looked at you. You were his perfect, beautiful, amazing wife who he would do anything for.
Including this, it would seem.
He kissed you, hard and probably a little too intensely for public, before walking up to the guy controlling the karaoke.
The cheery sound of the instruments made you giggle, and he tipped his hat to you.
"Would you go with me if we rolled down streets of fire?" He sang, looking nowhere but you.
You didn't dare look away from him, biting your lip.
He didn't know if you could tell, but his heart was racing. But, it felt like such a beautiful way to show you his love.
You smiled up at him the entire time. You were in love with him with every piece of you.
The song was nearing its end when Gisela tapped you on the shoulder before handing it to you, reminding you.
On the second time of him singing, "If I gave you my hand, would you take it?" you walked up towards the stage.
He looked at you confused when you stood in front of him.
But you handed it to him, and his singing stopped despite the music going.
He looked between it and you over and over again.
"Seriously?"
You could only nod, tears in your eyes and a smile on your face.
He looked to it again, then to you, then to the rest of the patrons at the bar.
"Holy shit guys my woman is making me a dad!"
><><><><><><><><><
Taglist: @foxyanon @zaldritzosrose (if you wanna be added to the taglist for Appalachian Sihtric let me know!)
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Age play, blood play, mfm for Marco, Thatch, and Sabo pls
Alright, we're going to do this one by Kink.
MFM, Blood play, Age Play.
I want to note two things before I go into this: I know almost nothing first hand about age play, and just spent the last 20 minutes reading up on it via a few sources I trust. I'm going to do My Best <3 but I apologize if I get something wrong.
Second Note: Honestly, I shouldn't have to say this, but in the lesser known kinks I feel compelled - if you're going to come into reblogs and chat being a fuck about someone else's style of consenting adults kinky times, I will block you in as many ways as I can.
If you're particularly unlucky, I will bury you publicly.
If any kink mentioned in these asks isn't your vibe just - move. along.
MFM - Threesome involving two straight guys and a straight girl because the guys don't interact (so I'm assuming straightness, otherwise why would you let a whole human body alone like that?)
Marco - Sure - A lot like Shanks, this man has spent almost his entire life as a pirate and on a pirate ship. Marco is pretty open to just about anything, but he's so laid back that nothing really comes across as enthusiasm. There's plenty he is enthusiastic about, but I think the damper on this situation would be in only giving attention to one of two available partners. He's all for following the boundaries of the session, don't misunderstand, but those bedroom eyes of his can admire a full range of people.
Thatch - Yes - Look, Thatch is here for a good time, and he's all in for the parameters provided, why not? It makes everyone else comfortable and he can make breakfast for three in the next morning just as easily as two. He'd be less inclined to invite someone in between him and his partner, but joining in with another couple is fine in his book. (Thatch, I feel, is not lucky in love xD So he can be pretty soundly in the "not-sharing" category when he gets into any kind of relationship.)
Sabo - Rather Not - It's not that Sabo's a stick in the mud or anything like that, but he is a bit of a control freak. He's also a little shy outside of an established relationship, and not very good at sharing when he's in an established relationship. Sex is also a vulnerable activity, never mind the emotional and physical vulnerability, but also tactically - and he's got a lot on his shoulders already. There's too many variables, and for better or worse, I don't think he's interested in much of any kind of group setting. A polycule sure - something established and vetted is something I could see for him.
Blood Play - A risky form of edge-play. Please, please, please practice this as safely as possible. (Also, I swear I do head canon some characters being for this kink, just not really any of these people XD - sorry!)
Marco - Sure - There's that continued "it's hard to get enthusiasm out of Marco" again, but in this case, it's a sure because Marco is Marco. There's a lot of risk with Blood Play (unless we're talking menstrual (well, there's still risk there, but differently)), but between his profession and his devil fruit, he's just about the absolute safest partner you could have for this particular kink. He's not much of a sadist though, and honestly I think he'd prefer to be the one getting cut than the other way around - but only if it's something that gets you off.
Thatch - I dunno - Thatch is, to me, kind of squeamish about blood. In battle it doesn't get to him, in the kitchen, it actually kind of does. He manages to deal with it well enough that only maybe a couple crew mates know about it. Blood belongs inside the body, and that's his stance on it. He's not going to pass out or hurl, but Thatch knows how to do two things with knives - cut food, and, well, cut people.
And how he does both aren't techniques he's comfortable using on you. You could maybe bring him around with Marco's assistance, but I can't see Marco helping since he'd definitely know about Thatch's mild squeamishness.
Sabo - Yes and No - Sabo has, to me, a bit of madness in him. I mean, he's been through a lot, and I think there's a lot of extra risk in blood play with him. I feel like it would trigger bad memories, and I feel like he would be all for trying it. It's a kink of control, and there's an intimacy to it no matter how you go about it. So he would want to, carefully, try it. It might not be the first time, or the second, but at some point I think the light would flicker across that crimson liquid in the "right" (wrong) way and if everyone is lucky, the knife is buried in the wall, and no one gets hurt.
Age Play - Consenting adults role-playing as a different age.
(psst, hey, not all kinks are sexual and a lot of BDSM is actually not sexually motivated! -- I say this as a very sexually motivated human, if I can understand it, <3 so can you <3 )
Marco - FUCK Yes - Marco's actually a little enthusiastic about this because it's new to him. You lay everything out for him, and spend a few hours educating him and going over the finer points. He's attentive, ready, and willing. It's pretty chill for both of you, and honestly it's become a good way to bond, and stress relieve together. Thatch probably teases him at some point that he's treating you more like he's your father, and not your lover, but the two of you just laugh about it. It's a sweet little shared secret between you.
Thatch - Starts as a I guess, moves to a Yes - It takes Thatch a little while to really understand the assignment, but the more you explain, and the more you spend trying, the more he gets into it. It is a nice change of pace from the normal rhythm of the day to day of the ship, and he shifts around in the different kinds of roles pretty often. You two played tag one time and it ended up being half the crew playing as well before it was all over and done with. Though, no one else really understood why you were both acting child-like, but that just for the two of you anyway.
Sabo - I guess/Sure - There's just so much muck around Sabo's childhood and his concepts of family that I think this would be more a can of worms than anything good. He'll try, a few different ways, and a few different times, but younger play would make him sad for reasons he doesn't understand (until his memory comes back), and older play would make him angry for reasons he doesn't understand.
Given time he could probably come into a full Yes, but he's gonna need therapy to unravel those memory traumas and family issues first.
I honestly feel like I learned more about myself than these One Piece characters with this particular ask, but that's life sometimes XD <3
Kinky One Piece Head Canon
#kinky one piece head canon#marco the phoenix#marco the pineapple#Thatch one piece#sabo the revolutionary#sabo one piece#x reader#thatch x reader#sabo x reader#marco x reader
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Things You Should Never Say To a Chronic Illness Survivor
This is a list of things that are just not cool to say to anybody with a chronic condition. I have fibromyalgia, which is a very complicated way of saying everything hurts, and no one knows why. I've heard most of this crap first hand. Seriously, y'all know this stuff doesn't help, knock it off.
"You don't look sick." Uh, yeah. Invisible illness doesn't outwardly advertise. While we may not look sick, you look like an ass saying that. 0/10, please stop.
"You're too young to be sick." You say that to a pediatric cancer patient? No? Then realize sickness can hit at any age. Another 0/10, stop it.
"It can't be that bad, you're always smiling." Here's the thing... most of us in this hellboat do not, surprisingly, like to be seen when we're not on our game, and we honestly want to just die. Unless you, like a certain very fictional SCP Foundation Doctor, can swap bodies at will, you have no freaking clue how anyone else feels. -10/10, say it again and we can and will find someone to smack the stupid out of you on our behalf.
"Are you still sick/are you better yet/you still haven't recovered yet?" Uh, yeah. Chronic illness doesn't just vanish. Supremely unhelpful, hurtful, and the next person who asks me this personally will find out I can still bitchslap with the best of them. -11/10, delete this query from your vocabulary.
"You can't always be in this much pain." No, some days are even WORSE. And the stress from dealing with unbelievers stings as much as our illnesses. Again, spend an hour in our bodies, you'll sing a new tune. -9/10, if you don't know, don't judge.
"You're just miserable." No shit, asshole. We're in pain all the time. If we complain, 9 times out of 10, we're not bullshitting you. Trust us. If we don't complain, it still hurts. For some of us it even hurts more to complain all the time. -20/10, say this one more time, we dare you.
"Have you tried (insert treatment/supplement/exercise here)?" Uh, probably. But not everything works for everybody. And some exercises just make it worse. 0/10, stop it.
"You just need therapy." While therapy helps deal with the condition, it WILL NOT FIX A GODSDAMNED CHEMICAL IMBALANCE/PHYSICAL DEFORMITY IN YOUR BRAIN BY ITSELF. You wouldn't say this to a person with a brain tumor, quit saying it to us. -11/10, do your research and learn something.
"Try to reduce stress." Uh... my body is the PRIMARY SOURCE of my stress, as it decided it hates me. So, unless you got a spare meatsuit behind your desk, this is just useless. -20/10, quit it.
"I know how you feel." No, no you do not, not unless you're trapped in your own circle of this particular hell. -25/10, this WILL result in me punching the offender if I hear this one more damn time.
"You're faking it/Fibromyalgia doesn't exist/you're just trying to get attention." Yeah, because being in CONSTANT UNBEARABLE AGONY 24/7/365 is just soo much fun. Look, no one really believed in radiation before the Curies, but it exists, and can be proven. Unlike the so-called intelligence of the idiot saying this. -30/10, if you think this, would you kindly stay the fuck away from us, as you're just a fool.
"You'll feel better after a good sleep." Assuming our bodies even let us, which is rare. And for me at least, I think the last good sleep I had was getting my gallbladder out, not that it helped. 0/10, just shove it.
"You'll feel worse in a few years." Really? Cause I legit want to die now. -1000/10, if you get the urge to say this, punch yourself in the eye and save us the trouble.
"Try (insert whatever diet here), it'll help." Not always an option on a fixed income, my dudes.
"There are people worse off than you." This pisses me off on two levels. One, comparing traumas/illnesses doesn't do much. Two, this is true for almost everybody. -250/10, mean, rude, and simply unhelpful.
"Everybody feels like that." ALL THE TIME? No? Then stfu. -1000/10, again, feel the urge to say this, punch yourself in the eye and save us the trouble.
"You're no fun anymore." Neither is our illness. -10/10.
"Why can't you just snap out of it?" DID YOU REALLY FUCKING THINK WE HAVEN'T TRIED THAT, YOU IDIOT? Chronic illness does not work like that AT ALL. -2000/10, never say this.
"Have you tried losing/gaining weight?" It makes very little difference. -10/10, shut up and mind your business instead of our waistlines.
"You're not really trying to get better." Yes, yes we are. And this doesn't do anything but anger us. The very notion we like being this way implies just how dumb people can be. -1000/10, just stop this crap.
#fibromyalgia sucks#chronic illness sucks major rancid donkey dick#and if you dont know now you know
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So You Wanna Get Hypnotized? (Guide to Being a Hypnotic Subject)
People often assume that hypnotizing someone is an active process while being hypnotized is a passive process, but that’s not the whole truth. Both aspects rely on the active participation of the people involved. Both are skills in their own right, mental muscles can be trained and strengthened. Also, there are aspects of being a hypnotic subject (or hypnotee, or whatever your preferred term may be) that go beyond hypnotic susceptibility or ability to fall into a trance, that you will want to develop in order to make your experience as a hypnokinkster a positive and enjoyable one. Lets talk about all those.
Training Your Mental Muscles for Hypnosis
How do you get better at being hypnotized? The easiest way is also the most straightforward:by being hypnotized. The more often you go into trance, the easier you will find the process. And if at first you don’t succeed, try try again. The more inductions* you go through the more you will learn about what works – and what doesn’t work – for you. What I recommend for new subjects is to not stick with one hypnotist, one induction style or one brand of suggestion/kink (unless you are only really interested in one, that is), but to explore a variety. That is especially true if your first trance experience goes poorly, or is disappointing. Don’t be “thirsty” about it, treating hypnotists like kink dispensers, but be willing and eager to explore and learn about yourself and your preferences before you settle for anything in particular. If you find it hard to trust people (and it’s totally understandable if that’s that case!), then you should instead seek out – again,trustworthy!– files and other passive sources for trance. Investigate them for “land mines” before you play them through in their entirety, though. That is, make sure that there’s nothing in there that you aren’t comfortable with (stuff like exclusivity suggestions, total orgasm denial, gender transformation [again, if that’s not something you are interested in], etc) positionedafterthe induction in a given file. So, listen to the back half with the intent of analyzing it before you listen to the whole file, including the induction, with the intent to get hypnotized.
If you don’t want to watch/listen to files or can’t find a hypnotist who is interested in hypnotizing you (and trust me, I sympathize there. The struggle is real.), there are still options available to you. The first is self-hypnosis, which is akin to how you can practice rope bondage with self-ties. It is similar to meditating, in that you sit, breathe slow and deep and steady, count your breaths, and try to slow your mind and relax your body. Focus on an image in your mind that helps you to count down toward a deeper, more relaxed state, like walking down a set of stairs or watching a clock as it slowly winds down. If you have trouble visualizing, then use the senses that are strongest for you as your focus, be they hearing (a ticking metronome that slowly ticks more slowly), touch (a heartbeat slowing down), smell (catching a scent but doing so more and more slowly as your breathing slows down, and the scent fades as your mind fades), or something else. What matters here is intent, repetition, and focus. You want to practice putting all your mental eggs in one basket, focusing completely (or more and more completely) on one task, and excluding other external stimuli. After that, you can focus on suggestibility, but that is almost certainly done best with either a partner or through watching/listening to files.
Looking for people who make files and/or hypnotists who are trustworthy but don’t know where to start? There are groups here on Fetlife for that, but also reach out to me via a comment here or a message and I’ll gladly help you.
This is just part of my larger Guide To Being a Hypnotic Subject! Click the link to read the whole thing.
#q#hypnokink#hypnokink basics#hypnokink community#guide to being a hypnotic subject#Writings on Safety & Consent
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I kinda need some advice (if you're comfortable giving), how does one keep their cool/sanity in the hellish atmosphere that is fandom nowadays? I really wanna get back to fanart and stuff as purely a hobby (and it was a huge part of my childhood) but considering how much of a warzone it is nowadays, I dunno if I can. Got anything?
Don't think I'm the right person to ask, I've not had that many entanglements with fellow fans throughout my online career. It's easy to assume that's because my overall viewership/online presence is low, but I've had the occasional semi-viral success and always enjoyed more praise than "criticism". I'd say fandoms in general are lenient and supportive, but every and any kind of community in the world has an insufferable minority. They shout and have alot of time on their hands, making it seem like you're dealing with a crowd, but that's never the case. Even if hundreds of people jump you, billions walk the Earth; it's not even a fraction of a percent you've displeased. But here's an actual answer to your question: In short:
Choose your fandoms wisely.
Don't overstay your welcome by sticking with one.
Don't join any online communities or participate in ongoing discourse. You're only here to draw.
Train yourself to understand that nothing in life fucking matters anyway. :(
In long: I switch my focus alot. If I attract fans of a particular fandom, but the next thing I show off is less likely to tickle their interest, most will leave again, and it's kinda protecting me from growing an unsettlingly invested fanbase. Praise and attention never motivated me to stick around with one series for long, because I know what's waiting around the corner and don't want to be known as "the <insert this one piece of media here> artist", anyway. Look at my nonsense and go away, I just want to die alone! I'm also not active at any online forums and rarely look up and comment on other people's work. Spares you alot of "who asked you"-styled responses. I might've not when I was younger, but agree with the sentiment now. Unless you come across something criminal, why intrude on someone else's fun. Grumble about it on your account if you must, but don't take it to theirs.. even though it's valid to argue that posting something online is an automatic invitation for others to critique it, especially when you don't apply any form of visibility restrictions. I don't really care to discuss ideas with fellow fans. Weird claim, since my Tumblr exists, but I started this account to post Deviantart stuff. People showed up one day and started asking questions about the fandoms I've been involved in (or haven't), but it's not my hobby to get deep about a fictional property. Without getting instigated, anyway. I think about a question's subject as I read the words, do my best to dissect the whole thing and not throw around one-sentence replies, but seldom have the answer ready in my head. The3Eds was the only forum I enjoyed myself at, and the things I talked about over there barely had anything to do with Ed, Edd n Eddy. In the end, no one will be able to offer you one foolproof strategy on this matter. There've been many artists in the past who minded their business and were slaughtered by strangers. You need to be the kind of person who doesn't take online verbal abuse to bed. That's hard to do if you're looking for validation. You could avoid large fandoms that are known to attract the overly defensive and offensive, but if you have to tiptoe through life for others, what's even the point. Know that the internet is a luxury you don't have to participate in. Log off for a week or so if you're feeling down, or alternatively, delete all comment notifications indiscriminately as you keep on doing your thing.. unless you insist on deleting negative comments, but I don't think you should. Why stop people from embarrassing themselves in public. I don't think I've ever deleted comments, unless it's copy-pasted stuff/spam, because what often happens is that the poster regrets and deletes it themselves. I suppose that has value too. Allow that shit to stay alive, so the poster may one day return to it and potentially realise they're better than that. It's easier to keep your calm when you humanize your critics, if you can. The way a person expresses themselves may be trash, but what is it they're saying, and can the reason be empathized with? Sometimes you're dealing with someone who's obviously a child. I struggle to get angry at people under the age of 20. But really -and more importantly- no one should waste their time on fighting fellow fans when it concerns an issue that's objectively not important, you have better things to do. Try to close your eyes for it, it's seldom personal, even if the attacks try to be. People can pretend, but they don't know you and never will.
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that 2-3 cutscene, part iii: barok
you know that cold sinking feeling you get when something you’d kind of guessed but hadn't confirmed yet turns out to be true? like, you knew, but you didn't have proof- and now you do, and there's just this pit in your stomach, because even if you knew you didn't want it to be true?
yeah, that’s barok in this.
going into this scene, barok has more than enough information to put things together. if you show him your armband at the very beginning of 2-3 he asks what it is, and when you explain, he asks why you're showing it to him. but then he says this:
“......... I can understand, at least... ...there's merit in reminding yourself of who helped you become what you are today.”
as a response to “here's the thing that marks me as a lawyer,” this doesn't make any sense- the armband belongs to ryunosuke, why would it remind him of someone else- unless barok knows, to some extent, what happened on that ship: that ryunosuke got that armband from a friend who died, who is the reason ryunosuke became a lawyer, and it is a reminder of that friend. and just to hammer it in, on his next line, he gets a very particular damage animation: specifically, the one where he looks away and puts one hand over what we will later find out is, of course, his dead brother’s prosecution badge.
this is all circumstantial evidence at best, but why would barok reference these parallels between him and ryunosuke so strongly, unless he knew they were there? unless he knew that ryunosuke, like him, lost someone close to him, and now works as a lawyer in their name?
and three months ago, barok got a new apprentice: who doesn't remember anything about himself, who's not allowed to show his face in front of anyone, and who’s not allowed to speak to “anyone outside of this office”- which excludes most people but, notably, does not exclude barok. so if we assume that barok knew about what happened on the ss burya, then, given that kazuma speaks with a japanese accent, barok can probably realize those two things are most likely not a coincidence.
and again, we have no proof for this, but barok knew genshin. If genshin ever mentioned his son’s name in front of barok, and barok remembers it, then once susato says kazuma’s name on that exhibition stage, barok has all the pieces to put together everything that's revealed at the end of 2-3.
and barok’s no fool. i think he does put those pieces together. i think by the time we reach that last stretch of trial, he knows who kazuma is, and how kazuma relates back to him. when you first start poking at the professor case with that waxwork, he says
“You should know... ...that you're on the brink of opening Pandora's box.”
as a reaction, this makes sense- this is a messy painful case with a fair bit of mystery still surrounding it and you're dragging it back up again- but this would also make sense for someone who has very recently realized that something more is going on here, something that loops back to the professor case, and he may not know what it is but he knows that it’s why he has this apprentice, here, now.
i think barok knew what was going on here. i think he knew that something about the professor case was crawling back from the dead, and i think that's in part why he chooses to reveal the secret to ryunosuke at the end of this case.
and i think in that final cutscene, his reaction is less shock, or surprise, and more just that cold, quiet feeling of, “oh. i was right.”
technically, this is not really a betrayal on kazuma’s part. kazuma didn't remember- it's not like he was choosing to apprentice himself to barok, or to hide his identity. but the technicalities of it don't matter. barok may not trust anyone, but if he had any faith in his apprentice at all- and he would have had to, at least enough to fight with kazuma by his side- then functionally this is a betrayal.
we don't see a lot of barok’s reaction in this cutscene. and that's fair! there's a lot going on! but i'd hazard a guess that at least part of it is about taking every emotion he's ever felt about his apprentice and shoving it as far away from him as possible. he made the mistake of letting himself have an ally again- and then it turns out that that ally is the son of the man who destroyed his life, the son of the first person to break his trust so badly that ten years later he still doesn’t believe in anything.
barok’s been betrayed once before. and now another person standing beside him has turned out to be part of something dark and terrible, that destroyed his life once and may very well do so again. no wonder barok calls him the living afterimage of his father.
like everyone else, barok experiences the ending of 2-3 as a resurrection. but for him it’s a revival of something he knew- and never wanted to see again.
(again, credit to @ifidogaysomyself for the basis of a lot of these thoughts.)
| susato | ryunosuke | kazuma |
#dgs#dgs2#dgs spoilers#dgs2 spoilers#barok van zieks#meta#my meta#barok is having a bad time in the opposite direction of ryunosuke and susato#unfortunately this does not spare him from having a Bad Time!
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Okay, here is my final part!
PART 4
Claim #7: They are in contact with sources close to Chris. That one particular blog has always claimed that they have sources in Massachusetts or Boston that are close to Chris and his circle. Now, that may be accurate, because anyone can know anyone. But they have never been clear about how these sources have been communicating with them.
First, they said it was via text (based on posts from months ago) – and when an anon asked yesterday why they couldn’t publish all the receipts since they’ve been communicating with sources for months, they say that they don’t have a paper trail, and it has been mostly phone calls.
Convenient much? Not once have they ever been able to prove anything with solid receipts, and when questioned, anons are often name-called, verbally abused and called crazy. Also, they’ve never said that they have sources inside Chris’s team, only sources close to the team. Now, you may say that this can be used to back up the fact that sometimes when things come to light, they seem to have known beforehand.
But let me also shed a little perspective here: Often, when they say something is coming, or something is about to happen, they never provide you with any context. Then, when something does happen, they say they knew all along. Again, convenient much?
At the end of the day, I think we have seen enough to safely say that Chris and Alba are in a PR arrangement. Therefore, photo dumps, fake articles and social media posts are to be expected. It's easy to post cryptic nonsense – you can always say later that your post was not connected to the PR drama, or it was because you knew all along what was coming out. Not to mention that so many in the fandom put crazy theories into their ask boxes anonymously. All these blogs have to do is fan the flames, and when something happens – as it logically would in a PR arrangement – they now can say they knew it all. See how easy it is?
Claim #8: Chris’s money and funds are all frozen by CAA I am open to being corrected by anyone with real-life legal expertise here. However, from my own knowledge and experience, putting your money and properties in a trust – where a third party is a caretaker and executor – is typically something you do when those things are going out as an inheritance for someone else. It isn’t something you do when you are still alive, unless there are dire circumstances that require it and a third party provides evidence to get the courts involved to do it. You can use Britney’s conservatorship here as an example. The reason a third party (her father) was entrusted with her funds and her assets was that she was declared mentally unable to care for herself and her money. When she proved her money was being withheld and she was being held against her will, the courts released her from it.
And if they want to claim Chris was losing his mind (like they said about Britney), they would need to submit plenty of evidence to gain control of his money – none of these has ever been brought to light, mind you. There aren’t no media articles or whispers anywhere that Chris's mental health issues are severe enough to warrant his money and property needing to be placed under third-party monitoring. What is public is only his own struggle with anxiety, which he has spoken about openly in the past. Now, let's assume Chris put his current house, and all his money now into CAA’s control through his own free will. CAA refusing to release these funds would be, in fact, illegal, and he would have legal recourse to get it back. Any lawyer worth their salt will be able to handle this. And if CAA is legally withholding his money, what legal precedent is being used to cite this case against him? The fact that they are saying Chris can’t do that smells fishy. Why can’t he do that? What evidence is there that CAA is holding his money and all his assets hostage?
Oh yes, their answer is that CAA is blackmailing him and that someone is out to ruin him at all costs. Again, what they are blackmailing him about remains unclear, but these blogs often say that “it won’t be a big deal to the general public if it’s released.” In fact, we might even applaud him for it if he came clean, but he is scared. These blog mods said their sources were close to Chris’s circle. And now they say they’ve asked Chris to ask his HW friends for forgiveness. But what is he asking for forgiveness about? And you’d think Hollywood friends would know the kind of shady business that goes on in their own industry, so again, my question is, why has everyone deserted him? Of course, these blog mods "cannot tell you." Now they are also asking you for $23,000 to pay his legal fees. And still, they cannot provide any evidence Chris is bankrupt or broke or has zero money. He has no money to spend on his own legal fees, but somehow has money to spend on renovating a random house for years, has money for private jets, and enough money to not work on so many projects in a year – he has said himself in recent interviews, cons and podcasts that he doesn't want to work on so many projects in a year. Do you guys see where I'm going with this? I liken all this nonsense to the time someone collected money from fans to put up a billboard to support Warrior Nun (remember those happy days?). It is a waste of time and money, and you should not believe it or give any money to these mods. Also, who is Chris paying with this $23,000? His lawyers? If it's going to be a messy and protracted legal affair, then $23,000 is just the start. It certainly won't cover the rest of the money needed, which will depend on how long the legal battle drags out, who wins the court case, who has to pay the other party's legal fees or whatever restitution is due to the winning party in order to get his funds.
Claim #9: Chris lied to immigration about the PR contract For this, I can only ask you to please take a breather. First of all, have you ever seen the spousal immigration interview requirements for America or any other country in the world? Have you seen how brutal American immigration is in real life? Have you seen any of the questions on those documents – or the sheer amount of paperwork – that spouses must answer and provide before even being considered for legal documents? They are highly invasive, and Alba has to do more than just answer a few questions to get legal long-term entry. Also, if he is supposedly marrying her to get her into America to do porn, then this is a fallacy as well. Porn industries don’t just thrive here in America. Europe has plenty. And if this was the case, then I’m sure there is a work visa for that. The porn industry in America is legit, and she doesn’t need a sham PR marriage to get her into the country to get any kind of work.
Now, if we say the claim above is false, then why would there be any need to force Chris to have a fake marriage?
If they wanted to put out rumours that Chris is married to Alba, all they have to do is release more news articles through reputable sources, stage a few wedding photos, pap walks and more socials, before releasing an article or announcement a year later that Chris and Alba have separated. Megan can certainly release a media plan that's good enough for this. After all, she owns Narrative PR, and her clientele consists of so many of Hollywood's best, many of whom are not CAA clients.
Why in the name of all the gods would CAA go through so much legal trouble to fake a marriage when that can be easily done with a few lies, fake social posts and media articles?
People who are doing shady things do not willingly engage with the authorities to get things done for mid-level artists. Do you all really think they will spend money on all this just to ruin Chris Evans? What secret could Chris possibly have about CAA that would’ve put him in their crosshairs? If these blogs' own words are to be believed, they’ve said that Chris doesn’t have as much clout as we think, and he doesn’t have as much pull as other Hollywood A-listers. So what is CAA’s motivation here that they want to destroy someone who only loves dogs and only has a big Marvel project on his resume?
Please, learn to question things being discussed on Tumblr. These claims float around without any question, and when confronted, these blogs cannot give you any specific answer because “it is confidential” and they cannot share.
And yet, they seem to have no issue dropping cryptic posts, hints and answers to anons when it is convenient for them. Sure. Let's go with that. Also, let’s face it. Since CAA is trying to force their way and make people believe it’s real, and if Chris and his team are allowing these kinds of information to be leaked, don’t you think CAA would’ve found the leak and plugged it by now? CAA is super shady, but in this instance, they are choosing to close an eye to one party's team to leak info to external sources, and these sources freely leak that info to other Tumblr blogs that are not linked to the situation? Come now, my lovelies! I urge you all to always question what is being put out here on Tumblr. Use logic, use your own intuition and always use Google for your research. It’s a free tool. Use it wisely.
If everything I’ve written does not give you a clue into what kind of people these blog mods are, then you must ask yourself what is blinding you from seeing their true colours. ♥️StarStruck💫
I guess part 4 is a typo :) Thanks again! Great to have you here!
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I've read fic where JGY was abusive and found it in character. I don't think 'abusive' and 'not abusive' are two separate categories of people. Under the right circumstances, any person or character can exhibit abusive behaviors and, with a long enough time frame and no interventions, their relationship could certainly become abusive.
If the word 'abuse' seems so incompatible with our beloved villains, can we really say we love them as villains if we can't love and acknowledge their capacity for harm?
-Regular Anon
Oh hi there, anon! Nice to see you again :D. Sorry this took so long in getting answered, I've been having a case of Real Life(tm) recently orz.
Anyways, I'm guessing this is maybe apropos of this other ask? In any case, let me just go part by part starting with the last statement bc I actually agree there with you.
If we claim to like a character, there's really no point in ignoring key elements of their personality, right? If we like villains, we like them bc of the fucked up shit they do and how very sexy of them it was, not in spite of. That's why even when I can indulge myself in the occasional fic with a softer canon WRH (bc food be scarce and every treat is appreciated :'))), I don't fully subscribe to that bc that's just not how he is. Even in AUs there just has to be some of his og assholery or at least make the changes make sense.
But here's where my first caveat comes, and it's something I mentioned in my other reply too. The characters' circumstances.
Now, idk what kind of fic you read, and at the end of the day, if it works for you, that's totally cool! I just would have to assume that JGY's life still had some level of shittery to it, or he was going through someting bc really, this is the character that saved a perfect stranger in the middle of the war without any ulterior motive, nothing to offer, and risking his own safety just bc it was the right thing to do.
The entire point of MY/JGY is that he was "corrupted" by a society that left him with only two options: accept your fate as a bottom feeder, or cheat the system in whatever way you can bc you are always going to be inherently disadvantaged. And here's my second caveat:
JGY doesn't read like a villain to me. An antagonist, maybe, but an actual force of evil in complete oposition to the core values of the heroes and actively trying to hurt/stop them? Not really.
So it's not only that, but also the fact that he's a nurturing person at his core that lead me to disagree with the notion that he would be purposedly abusive towards another person unless there's very pressing circumstances that would make it so that his own well-being actually depends on somehow damaging this other individual.
Sorry, but I just don't see it working in any other way.
That being said, yes, you are right, interpersonal relationships are much more complicated than just abusers and victims (despite what some corners of tiktok and twt might say lol). As I also said in that other ask, at some point in our lives, we are all going to be the assholes and even the villains in someone else's story; we are going to hurt those close to use and we are going to make mistakes bc we are humans. But there's a difference between toxic behavior and being a toxic person. So while being a dick bc you had a bad day or bc there's no good communication going on can totally happen to everyone, that's not the same as intentionally hurting and manipulating someone in a systemic fashion fully designed to keep them trapped with you.
THAT is something ingrained in the person at hand, and while there's an entire conversation to be had about nature vs nurture, in JGY's particular case there has been no examples whatsoever in canon to even suggest that that's the direction his character skews towards. On the contrary, he has sacrificed his own desires and needs for those he cares about: being a model husband to QS and never taking a concubine, helping rebuilt Cloud Recesses and creating the watchtowers even if it was unpopular, going to NHS' aid whenever he called despite it being more work for him, never hurting Madam Jin in spite of how she did hurt him, etc. By the end even, pushing LXC away when the man had clearly accepted death with him.
Again, idk the details of the fic you are refering to, for all I know, it's an entire exploration of JGY spiralling down an even darker and more desperate place than in canon, and him becoming abusive towards someone bc, idk, that's the only way in which he can feel in power when his entire life depends on others is the whole point of the thing. And that's perfectly valid too!! What's fiction for if not to explore and go beyond??
I just felt like I should clarify that, while I agree on principle with the villain statement, I don't think it applies to JGY unless there are specific factors playing along, and if those are not met, I personally wouldn't find an abusive!JGY portrayal accurate or in-character.
But once again, that's just my position and I have my preferences and my biases like any other person.
#replies#mdzs#jin guangyao#tbh I think jiggy would first kill the person than cause them unnecessary pain#bc what reason would he have for hurting someone in a close relationship with him??#if they become impossible to deal with (a la NMJ) then it's just easier to get rid of them#at his core he is also very pragmatic#he only ever wants safety and respect man#he won't even force the few ppl who care about him to stay#he gave lxc the token back instead of dragging him to his mess#and I know murder meowmeow is like a meme at this point#but I honest to god can't see him as the villain of the story#of nhs' story maybe#but nhs is not the protag and jiggy was doing zero nepharious deeds when canon happened#he was the target of a very personal revenge not a big baddie to be destroyed a la wrh#that's not a villain to me tbh
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3. The Idea: Coming Up With and Developing Your Idea (with examples)
Since you have decided to start writing something, I assume you already have an idea for your first fanfic in mind. Great! Write it down. Now. Do it!
It doesn’t matter how rough or elaborate your idea is, or how good it sounds written out. For now, you just want to get it out of your head so there’s space for even more ideas—because that’s what you need: more, always more.
Your original idea can be a single word or phrase, dialogue, or even a certain vibe; it’s the first conscious concept of your story, whatever that may be. You might not even end up using it in your finished draft, but that doesn’t matter again. Your idea is just the very first stone in your foundation, something you’ll build upon. The funny thing about ideas is that you can build upon them from any direction—gravity doesn’t matter. Your original idea can end up being the middle of a drabble, or the very last line of a novel-length fic. At this point, you do not need to know how the story begins or ends or what’s in the middle. You start with what you have and see where it goes.
Let’s go over some examples:
Dialogue
My writing ideas usually start off as a line or two of dialogue. Here goes:
“Darling, it’s not my fault that I have to alter this dress every other damn week.” (Starlit Skirts)
This was the first thing I wrote down for this particular fic (maybe I did it at lunch. Maybe at 4 am, half asleep. But I wrote it down and here we are). In the final 2.5k words fic this line is to be found towards the middle, and I didn’t even change the original wording.
My point is that it took only one single line to build an entire story around. The speaker, in this case, Astarion—impatient, sometimes petty vampire and certified liar—has to do something that’s not his fault…or so he says. And that’s basically the entire original idea.
But it doesn’t end here, because now you need more ideas. In order to get to those ideas, I suggest you interrogate your original idea—ask it some questions! Keep in mind that you don’t need to find answers to your questions right away, that’s not the point. You’re brainstorming ideas, not solving problems (yet)! This might look somewhat like this:
Whose dress does Astarion have to alter every other damn week? → Considering that he’s already addressing “Darling”, it’s likely to be their dress.
If it’s not his fault that he has to alter that dress every other damn week, whose fault is it? → Why, let’s ask “Darling”, they’ll have an answer! And congrats, you’re basically forced to think of at least one more line of dialogue now. Unless “Darling” hasn’t heard him or is mute or dead or…well, would you look at that—that’s a lot of possibilities already! Let’s just assume they’re starting to banter now, though.
If Astarion’s so annoyed with having to alter the dress, why doesn’t he let someone else do the altering? → Because he loves “Darling” and wants their dress to be perfect no matter how often he has to alter it.
Why does the dress even need this much altering, to begin with? → Hmm, maybe because Astarion knocked “Darling” up and their belly is growing faster than he can alter the dress?
…
…and that’s how you develop a 2.5k-word final draft from one single line of dialogue. As mentioned before, this line is located in the middle of the fic, so I had to fill the story in from two directions: I needed a way to get to the line in the first place (an intro, so to speak) and then resolve its premise. In fact, the entire story relies on this one line—the original idea. Without it, this story would either not work or be something entirely different.
Phrases or single sentences
He despises you. (You, Blinding Like the Sun)
This is the first line of my very first BG3/Astarion fic. I was brushing my teeth, thinking about the Pale Elf (as one does) and suddenly thought: What if he despises Tav (you) at the beginning of the journey? And there you have your original idea.
Let’s ask questions again:
Why would Astarion despise Tav specifically? What did they do to him to merit his loathing? → They’re everything he isn’t. Simple as that. They’re alive, never knew hardship, and people love them for who they are. They don’t have to hide: not from the sun nor their pimp.
One could argue that the same is true for the other companions. What makes Tav special in that regard? → Well, you see, Tav and Astarion aren’t that different after all. They’re both High Elves. They speak the same language, and probably hail from the same city. Have a similar background. Astarion is confronted with everything that was supposed to be him.
So he despises Tav because he’s jealous? → Yes, but it gets worse because as much as he despises them, he’s—gasp!—falling for them.
What does that mean for Astarion, now that love has entered the game? → He has to confront his feelings. Which is very hard for this character in particular.
…
So, again, one short sentence set off a string of events, and at the end of it all the opening line doesn’t even ring true anymore. With 1.5k words, this piece is rather short but it did a 180° turn from start to finish. I actively wanted it to resonate with the character of Astarion, so this specific story wouldn’t quite work with any other BG3 Origin Character. There was the simplicity of “distaste” in the beginning, but—just like Astarion’s nice and simple plan—it fell apart when I let the original idea turn into an exploration of more complicated themes.
That’s usually not something you plan from the get-go but rather ease into while you’re working on your draft. That’s why you want to keep asking questions all throughout your writing process and the more complicated your questions get, the better. “Complicated” is great for finding ideas, but “simple” is an equally great place to start. Consider that, sometimes, the easiest idea can be the most complicated and vice versa.
The Vibe
It’s a little different when your original idea is vague, more vibe than a specific line—but not less important or good. Personally, I love this kind of original idea, because it’s deliciously ambivalent. While your original idea might be vague, it provides you with a solid framework for your work; you don’t just have an idea but a theme you can just work along.
They don’t give a shit about him. All he has to do is endure. What is one more fuck? A little more blood dripping from his hands? He’s but a whore. Why should they care? Why should he? (The Scent of Missing Buttons)
This particular paragraph doesn’t exist in the final draft of this fic, but it’s undeniably its essence. It exists in every part of the final draft—it mirrors the beginning, middle and end. But this original idea/OG vibe still needs answers to its questions:
Who isn’t giving a shit about Astarion? → The people he had to lure back to his master? His new-found companions? Why not both?
Does it bother him that people don’t care about him? → Why, of course, he wants people to look out for him, to care for him, to love him. And he wants to do the same for other people. But wanting and being able to do it are two very different things. Herein lies the conflict of this fic.
How does he deal with people who eventually do care about him? → He lashes out at them because all he’s known is being a whore nobody ever cared for.
…
With this approach, you’ll have to fill the story in from all sides, while still keeping the sentiment of your original idea in mind. It’s a little tricky but having a fixed framework can be very helpful—let it guide you through your story!
Again, these are just some options, but you can develop your story from anything, really. It doesn’t even come down to preference, but how your brain works. While ideas usually come to me in the form of dialogue, your brain might be triggered by an image or song. The sky’s the limit.
Not all initial ideas are technically good ideas, though, but every idea is a start. The important part is to grow that original idea into a coherent plot, or your chain of events—you do that by asking your questions and probing the potential of your idea. You have X and now you have to figure out what more X can be, or even if X should be something else entirely.
So even when you start with: “To Wyll, Baldur’s Gate is home and stranger at once.”, you might end up with a story about Wyll—Blade of Frontiers and disowned son of a Duke—having an identity crisis, which is probable enough. But you might also write a story about Wyll’s father who is forced to watch his son burn down all of Baldur’s Gate after Wyll deemed the city to be beyond redemption.
What? That’s not in character for Wyll and generally a bad idea, you say? Well, maybe. If you don’t want to write that story, write a different one. But at some point in this process, you might find that your idea develops on its own. Don’t be afraid of that. We don’t want to stop the ball once it’s rolling. Now go chase after it, I’m so excited to see what you’ve come up with!
Next: Finding Inspiration or The First Draft: Just Write.
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