#without starting an argument with them which is about as successful as running through a minefield unharmed lmao

[darksisterswielder]

HI ANESA!!!!!

KITA MY LOVE!!!!

[theostrophywife]

azúcar.

pairing: mattheo riddle x reader.

song inspiration: baby by madison beer.

author's note: benjamin being active on tiktok is dangerous for my health. i actually feel like i'm about to crawl on the ceiling from how badly i want this man. literally tweaking. anyways, enjoy 😊

There were a lot of quidditch related superstitions you were willing to put up with. 

Wearing the same socks during every match. Kissing your boyfriend good luck before every game. Even the rowdy common room parties that you and Mattheo often snuck out of to have a celebration of your own was a tradition you welcomed with open arms. 

But this was not one of them. 

“It’s absolutely absurd,” Pansy huffed, her sleek black hair grazing her chin as she tucked her legs underneath her on the velvet couch. “Blaise has lost his mind.” 

“Sounds like you’re the one losing it, Pans.” 

Pansy rolled her eyes. “You would too if your boyfriend suddenly announced a sex ban as part of some weird quidditch superstition.” 

Since the start of the season, the quidditch team had taken a few hits. Usually, the boys dominated the other houses, but they barely won against Hufflepuff and came to a draw against Ravenclaw during the last game. Ending in a tie was apparently the last straw because the day after the match, Blaise told Pansy that the team had taken a pact of celibacy. 

For some deranged reason, the boys believed that abstaining from sex for a week would help them secure a win for the rematch on Friday. For the next five days, they intended to sleep, breathe, and eat quidditch. Apparently, your feminine wiles would have to be set aside for the meantime. As if sex were the problem and not their constant drinking and partying, which probably contributed to their lack of focus as a whole. Not that the boys would listen to common sense at this point. 

You scoffed. “Please, Mattheo wouldn’t last a day without sex let alone a whole week.”

“Don’t be so sure,” Pansy said rather bitterly, picking at the cushion in her lap. “The lot of them are taking this entirely too seriously. Blaise won’t even allow himself to be in a room alone with me.”

”Well, Zabini has a surprising amount of self-control. Mattheo, on the other hand, is perpetually horny. There’s no way that he agreed to such a ridiculous pact.”

“Lucky you,” your best friend said with a long suffering sigh.

You nudged her knee with your foot and smiled mischievously. “Don’t worry, babe. I’m more than willing to help. Blaise may be disciplined, but he’s also just a man. What do you say we pop into the village? I think I saw a lace emerald lingerie set that had your name all over it.”

Pansy perked up at that. “I knew I came to the right person.”

Your best friend smiled as you hooked your arm through her elbow. “Of course you did. Now come on, let’s bring Zabini to his knees.” 

Sprawled out on Mattheo’s bed, you flicked through the pages of your novel and waited for your boyfriend to return from practice. The trip to Hogsmeade had been a complete success. Just as you suspected, the little set you glimpsed through the lingerie store window looked absolutely stunning on Pansy. Blaise didn’t stand a chance. 

As a matter of fact, you’d given the two of them privacy tonight. They were due for a study session at your shared dorm tonight, but you quietly slipped out in the midst of their heated argument about the Goblin Rebellion and happily skipped off to your boyfriend’s room. 

Given the late hour, Mattheo was due back any second now. As if summoning him from your thoughts alone, your boyfriend sauntered into the room, looking sweaty and sexy from running though drills all afternoon. Mattheo grinned the second he spotted you on his bed. 

“Hi, princesa,” he greeted, his voice low and husky. 

”Hi, Matty.” You propped yourself up on your elbows and smiled. “How was practice?” 

“Absolutely fucking brutal,” Mattheo grunted as he pulled off his shoes. “Theo clobbered the fuck out of me, but I suppose it’s better him than the Ravenclaws. Mark my words, we’re going to beat those twats come Friday.” 

“I don’t doubt it, babe.” You pushed off the mattress and scooted closer to him. 

Mattheo licked his lips as you neared, breath hitching as you brushed his damp curls off of his forehead. You smirked and leaned in for a kiss. At the last second, Mattheo turned sharply, causing the kiss to land on his cheek instead of his lips. 

“I’m all sweaty,” he explained. You quirked a brow. Sweat, dirt, and grime had never stopped the two of you before, but you brushed it off. He was probably just wound up about winning. Mattheo smiled apologetically and kissed your temple. “Let me shower first and then we can cuddle, okay?’ 

You made the mistake of looking into those big, brown eyes. Damn him and his chocolate eyed gaze. The twat knew it was your weakness. 

“Fine,” you said as you crawled underneath the covers. “But hurry up, I’m getting tired.” 

Ten minutes later, you were fully engrossed in your book again. Just as it reached a particularly steamy scene, the door swung open, revealing a half-naked Mattheo. The white towel wrapped precariously around his trim waist gave you a perfect view of his toned chest and ripped abs, beads of water clinging onto his glistening skin like rain drops. You bit your lip as he tugged on a clean pair of boxers over his legs, cocking your head to appreciate the curve of his arse before he slipped into his sweatpants. 

Unaware of your ogling, Mattheo climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around you. “What are you reading, mi amor?” 

“Nothing that can’t wait,” you murmured, leaning in to kiss your boyfriend.

This time, Mattheo gladly accepted the kiss. His lips slanted over yours, sighing softly as you melted into him. Your kisses were soft and sweet, punctuated by cute little pecks that had your boyfriend smiling against your mouth. You took the opportunity to slide your tongue against his, making Mattheo groan as his fingers slipped through your hair. 

“Damn, mami. You missed me that much?” 

You rolled your eyes at his cocky smirk while you climbed into his lap and straddled him. Mattheo gripped your hips, moaning as your lips latched onto his neck. His pretty brown eyes rolled back as you left a trail of kisses along the column of his throat. You raked your nails along his chest, dragging red lines down to his abs, and tracing his happy trail as he captured your lips once more. Mattheo let out a choked groan as you tugged at his waistband. To your surprise, he grabbed your wrist and blinked up at you. 

“Y/N…” Mattheo said breathlessly. “Maybe we should…maybe we should go to sleep.” His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he tried and failed to swallow his own words. 

You raised a brow and settled over his lap, squirming against his hard length as Mattheo bit his lip. “You want to go to sleep? Right now? While I’m on top of you and willing to do whatever you want?” 

Your boyfriend looked pained. Conflict was evident on his face. Without a word, Mattheo nodded. 

“Oh my god,” you blurted in disbelief. “You agreed to that stupid sex ban, didn’t you?”

Mattheo groaned. “Only for a week, love. We really need to win this match.” 

You scoffed. This was absolutely ridiculous. “I know you, Mattheo. You aren’t going to last a week.” 

“Hey! Have a little faith in me.” 

Rolling off of him, you crossed your arms against your chest. “First of all, you didn’t even ask me if I’d be okay with it.” 

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. With a shit-eating grin, Mattheo cocked his head at you. “It sounds to me like you’re the one who can’t last a week, princesa.” 

“Please,” you said with an eye roll. “I have my book boyfriends to keep me company. I can channel all my sexual energy into reading smut. You, on the other hand? You can’t even make it through class without dragging me into a broom closet.” 

Faster than you thought possible, Mattheo flipped you onto your back and pinned you to the mattress. A cocky smirk curved against his lips as he trailed them down your neck. “Oh?” he hummed, kissing the sweet spot just below your ear, his hand gripping the inside of your thigh, making you press your legs together to suppress the need. The bloody bastard. “But can your book boyfriends touch you like I can?” 

Channeling every ounce of self-control within you, a calm and unbothered expression clicked into place like a mask. You tugged at his curls, forcing him away from your neck. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about me, Matty. I’ll be just fine.” Mattheo released a choked groan when you palmed the front of his boxers. He twitched at your touch, his cock painfully hard. “Looks like you’re not doing too hot, though. Let me know if you need help. You know I’d be more than happy to give you relief, baby.” 

Mattheo cursed under his breath as his own plan backfired on him. Blood rushed down to his cock as you squeezed gently, making him harder and hornier than ever. You chuckled darkly as he grinded against your hand. With one last squeeze, you kissed his cheek and peeled yourself away from his bed. 

“You know where to find me, papi.”

He watched in disbelief as you gathered your things, cute little ass swaying farther and farther away from him as you hauled your bag over your shoulder. “You’re seriously leaving?” 

You smirked and waved at your boyfriend as you pulled the door open. “I have a hot date with my romance novel. Good luck with your pact, babe. You’ll need it.” 

Merlin, Mattheo was going out of his fucking mind. 

For Salazar’s sake, he was starting to get the shakes and it had only been two days since he last had sex. Granted, it felt like an eternity since you were more than determined to get your boyfriend to break. Could lack of sex actually drive a person to the brink of insanity? Mattheo was pretty convinced that the answer was yes as he gaped at the lacy red bra peeking out under your white blouse. 

Had your clothes shrunk in the wash? Mattheo could’ve sworn that your shirt hadn’t been that tight before. You were nearly bursting out of it and the view of your tits pressed together as you leaned across the table to steal a blueberry off of his plate made his mouth water and his dick hard. 

“Stay strong, Riddle,” Theo whispered beside him. “We’ve got this.” 

Never in his life had he wanted to throttle Theo more. The only thing Mattheo had at the moment was a painful fucking boner. Three more days. That’s all he had to endure before they called off this stupid sex pact. 

He could make it. Couldn’t he?

As he looked up at you sucking on a strawberry, Mattheo’s confident wavered. You were truly testing what very little self control that he possessed. You were right when you said that your boyfriend couldn’t last a single class without dragging you into an empty broom closet. You were just so pretty and sexy and hot and that was when you weren’t trying. 

Now that you were determined to tease the fuck out of him, Mattheo didn’t stand a chance. 

All day, you focused on making his life an absolute living hell. Perching on his lap, fixing his tie, smiling prettily while you brushed his curls back and left glossy kiss prints all over his cheeks. His hands were in permanent fists, fingernails digging into the flesh of his palm so deeply that he wouldn’t be surprised to find himself bleeding. This was torture. Cruel and unusual punishment. 

The final straw came when the two of you were studying in the library later that night. Bouncing his leg, Mattheo forced himself to pay attention to the Ancient Runes textbook in front of him instead of ogling you from across the table. It wasn’t working though. Every few minutes, he caught himself glancing up at you. Your lips, your eyes, your hair. There was nothing sexual about you taking notes yet he was so turned on that he felt dizzy. 

Mattheo lowered his head, trying to keep cool. When he looked back up, you were no longer in your seat. Instead, you were reaching for a book on the shelves behind you. Whatever you were looking for was on the lowest shelves, so you bent down to retrieve it. When you did, your skirt rode up, revealing that you weren’t wearing any underwear. Mattheo hissed, scrambling to pull your skirt down. 

”What in Salazar’s name are you doing, Y/N?” Your boyfriend gripped your elbow, anger and frustration radiating off of him in waves. 

You blinked up at him, putting on an innocent smile. “Oh!” you exclaimed, placing a hand on Mattheo’s chest. “Did I forget to wear underwear? Silly me.” 

Your boyfriend groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. He muttered something under his breath repeatedly. Breathing exercises. You bit back a smirk. 

On his third count to ten, Mattheo finally opened his eyes. Without a word, he gathered your belongings and hauled you out of the library. He didn’t speak until the two of you were back in the dungeons. 

“I’m going to study in my room,” Mattheo declared as he handed you your book bag. “You’ll study in yours.” 

You grinned. “Oh, Matty. We both know the only thing you’ll be studying is your cock in your hand.” Mattheo tensed as you traced a finger down his jawline. “What a shame. I’d be more than willing to put an end to your misery if you just admit that the pact is stupid.” 

For Salazar’s fucking sake. Mattheo was so close to calling this whole thing off. He wanted you. Screaming underneath him. Crying from pleasure. Moaning his name. But he couldn’t. He had to stay strong. 

Mattheo sighed and kissed your temple. “Good night, mi amor. I love you. Even though you’re determined to drive me fucking mental.” 

You smiled before pulling him in by his tie. Mattheo groaned as you placed a sweet kiss on his lips, barely giving him a taste of what he wanted. “Love you too, Matty. Sleep tight. I hope you dream of me tonight.” 

With that, he watched you saunter off in the direction of your dorm, skipping through the common room without a care in the world. Mattheo stared up at the ceiling and counted to ten again. 

Friday could not come any fucking faster. 

You had to admit that you were impressed. Your boyfriend had miraculously survived an entire week without sex. 

Despite your best efforts to thwart the stupid pact, Mattheo stayed true to his word. A pretty impressive feat given the fact that you’d practically thrown everything you had into seducing him. Sitting on his lap, licking your lips while he talked, kissing that sweet spot below his jaw, wearing your clothes shorter and tighter than ever, and even sleeping in his favorite silk red set, which you knew was particularly hard for him if the erection pressed against your back all night was any indication. 

Still, Mattheo withstood all of your attempts. 

You would’ve been upset had it not been for the fact that Mattheo looked absolutely pained by the whole ordeal. This entire week, his fists were permanently clenched at his side, his jaw locking and unlocking with every suggestive comment you threw his way, his eyes flickering over your body, groaning in frustration as he tortured himself by looking at what he couldn’t have. 

It was amusing to watch your boyfriend twitch at your every move. As you predicted, you fared better than Mattheo had. After all, you had a wild imagination and a collection of toys to hold you over. That wasn’t to say that you weren’t needy and aching for him, but you had ways of coping. 

“I’m so fucking glad it’s Friday,” Pansy grumbled beside you as she took a swig from her flask. 

After the whole bring Zabini to his knees plan failed, she’d been crankier than ever. Neither one of you expected either of your boyfriends to even make it this far without caving at least once. 

“Me too, babe. As much as I’m rooting for our boys, I can’t wait for this bloody game to be over. Win or lose, I know the sex is going to be insane.” 

Your best friend smirked as she handed you the firewhisky. “I’ll cheers to that, babe.” 

Surprisingly, the tension and frustration helped the boys play better than ever. They were ruthless on the field. Theo and Enzo were vicious as they defended the goalposts, giving way for Blaise and Mattheo to chase after the opposing beaters, nearly taking some poor bloke’s head off with a bludger. You almost felt bad for the Ravenclaws. 

When Draco caught the snitch, you cheered loudly. You and Pansy screamed until your throat felt raw and hoarse by the time the game was officially called. The two of you swayed as you descended from the stands, slightly inebriated from your generous swigs, but you didn’t mind. The liquor kept you warm and served as preparation for a night of drinking and debauchery for the common room party. 

Blaise wasn’t at all surprised that you and Pansy pregamed. In fact, he took the flask and downed the rest before tugging his girlfriend towards the castle. 

“Have fun, you crazy kids!”

Zabini chuckled. “Oh, we will. By the way, your boyfriend’s waiting for you in the locker room.” 

With a conspiratorial wink, Blaise wished you good luck as Pansy grinned from ear to ear. You chuckled before making your way over to the locker room. The doors opened, revealing a very smug looking Theo. With a frown, you swatted the back of his head. 

“Ow!” The brunette exclaimed, rubbing his newly acquired injury. “What was that for?” 

“For encouraging my boyfriend to agree to this stupid sex ban.” You crossed your arms and glared at your friend. “I know it was your idea, Theodore.” 

“Hey! We won the game, didn’t we? So obviously, my idea was brilliant.” 

“It was just dumb luck,” you replied with a scoff. “Honestly, I didn’t think you guys would take it so seriously. Especially you. You’re even worse than Mattheo. Celibacy for a week must’ve been hell, huh?” 

Theo shifted his weight, looking abashed. You narrowed your eyes at him as you read the guilt in his body language. “You little weasel! You caved, didn’t you?” 

“There was this really hot Ravenclaw…” 

“With the opposing team, too? You’re shameless, Nott.” 

“Please don’t tell the guys.” He looked genuinely contrite as he pleaded with his eyes. “They’ll murder me if they knew that I couldn’t even stick to my own pact.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Fine, but you owe me big time.” 

Theo smiled before leaning over to kiss your cheek. “You’re the best. I’d say see you at the party, but with how tense and insane your boyfriend has been, I probably won’t see you two for the next few days.” 

“I wonder who’s fault that is.” 

“The pact was my idea. Teasing him was yours. Honestly, he almost stabbed a fork through my hand because you bent over in front of him.” He smirked as he held the door open. “You’ve got that man on a tight leash.” 

You fought a smile. “Leave before I get the urge to hit you again.” Theo nodded, making his way out. “Oh, and congratulations on the win.” 

After a cheeky wink, Theo was gone. Leaving you to find your boyfriend on your own. When you rounded the corner, you could hear the sound of water running echoing off the tiled walls. You ventured farther in the stalls and found Mattheo standing underneath the scalding hot shower, tipping his head back against the spray. With a smile, you leaned against the wall and admired your boyfriend. Merlin, he really was beautiful. 

Mattheo was a sight to behold; biceps flexing, abs taut, and back muscles tense as he washed away the sweat and grime. Your gaze trailed down to his trim waist, licking your lips as your eyes snagged on his backside. The longing sigh you released gave you away. 

Water glistened on his skin as Mattheo looked over his shoulder, a playful smirk tugging at his lips as he surveyed you. Your boyfriend didn’t bother covering himself as he sauntered over to you. His chocolate brown eyes roamed over your body, smiling softly when he saw that you were wearing one of his jerseys. Mattheo traced over his surname embroidered right above your heart. 

“The Riddle name looks good on you, mi amor,” he whispered huskily, backing you against the tile. “I can’t wait to make it official one day.” 

You hummed while you tangled a wet curl between your fingers. “Oh? That won’t be happening any time soon, Matty.” Mattheo frowned as you caressed his cheek. “Not with the way you’ve neglected me this week.” 

“Don’t be like that. You know it was hell for me, princesa.” 

“I know,” you said with a grin. “I’m just teasing you. In reality, I’m kind of impressed. You didn’t cave once even when I threw everything I had at you. You were so good, baby. You crushed those Ravenclaws too.” Mattheo groaned as you kissed his jaw, nipping at his sweet spot. “Maybe the pact wasn’t so stupid after all.” 

Your boyfriend groaned as he gripped your hips and pinned you against the wall. “Oh, I won’t be doing that shit again.” Mattheo rested his hand on the base of your throat, eyes black and filled with lust as he squeezed. “It was torture not to touch you.” 

When you spoke, your voice sounded husky and seductive thanks to his possessive hold. “Could’ve fooled me. You seemed perfectly in control. So much so that maybe we should extend it another week. Abstinence really helps clear the mind, doesn’t it, baby?” 

Mattheo chuckled darkly. He knew you were baiting him. You weren’t used to not getting what you wanted in your relationship. Your boyfriend was well aware that he spoiled you rotten. You were going to make him work for it tonight, but he didn’t mind. In fact, the idea thrilled him. He wouldn’t have been dating you if he wasn’t up to the challenge. 

Without warning, Mattheo tugged you into the shower, making you squeal as the water soaked your clothes. He wasted no time before crashing his lips onto yours, claiming you in a starved and possessive way that had you gasping for breath. Your boyfriend was frantic as he hoisted you up and wrapped your legs around his waist. 

Mattheo sucked harshly at your flesh, his dark chuckle a seductive caress against your skin. You groaned as he grinded his cock against your clothed pussy, which was already throbbing and aching for him. “Brace yourself, sweetheart. We have a whole week to make up for and we’re not leaving here until you’re properly punished for teasing me like the little brat that you are.” 

You flashed him a saccharine smile. “Do your worst, baby.” 

“You’ll regret that, mami.” 

With a wicked grin, Mattheo slid your panties to the side and teased along your folds. He hissed when he felt how soaked you were, practically dripping down his fingers as he eased one into your pussy. You bit down on your lip as the delicious pressure awakened a familiar heat in your core. 

“Not so brave now, are you?” Your boyfriend taunted as he slowly fingered you. After going without, you were embarrassed to find that a simple touch was enough to set your teeth on edge. “This is payback, baby. Wearing those tiny little shirts with your lace bra peeking out. Bending over in front of me knowing that you had no panties on. Grinding on my lap and making me so fucking hard that I almost sprained my wrist wanking off in the restroom like a madman.” 

“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.” You rasped, groaning as Mattheo picked up the pace. “Not if this is what I get in return. I like when you’re rough, Matty. It makes me wet.” 

Your head lolled back as he added another finger, curving them inside of you and reaching that spongy spot that had you seeing stars. 

“Good,” Mattheo whispered as he nibbled at your earlobe. “Because I’m about to fuck you until you can’t walk.” 

The filthy words sent you over the edge. Mattheo flicked his thumb over your swollen clit and you clenched around his fingers. “I can feel you squeezing me, pretty girl. So fucking greedy, hm?” 

You let out a choked moan. Mattheo grabbed your wrist and slid your hand down his front. “Do you feel that, princesa? I’ve been hard as fuck for you all week. Are you gonna be a good girl and help me out?” 

“Yes,” you breathed out. “Let me take care of you, papi.” 

Mattheo twitched in your hand as you gripped him, tugging as he watched you with lust blown eyes. The intensity of his stare made butterflies erupt in your stomach. 

“I thought about this while getting myself off this week. Your hands. Your eyes. Your voice.” 

“I thought about you, too,” you confessed. “But it doesn’t compare to the real thing. God, you’re fucking sexy.” You rubbed your thumb over his tip, rubbing his precum over his head. Mattheo whimpered against your neck. “I missed you whimpering for me.” 

“I don’t whimper,” Mattheo countered. 

You raised a brow and picked up the pace, working him until his eyes rolled back. Despite his denial, Mattheo whimpered even louder this time. 

“You’re playing dirty, baby.” 

“I thought you liked it dirty, Matty.” 

“I do,” he said with a smirk before curving his long fingers inside of you. You shuddered as he hit that sweet spot. “Now come on, pretty girl. Come with me.” 

You nodded, picking up the pace and groaning as Mattheo pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. He licked the roof of your mouth, shuddering as he bucked into your hand. You tugged at him, coaxing him to cum as he panted against your neck. 

“Fuck. Don’t stop, baby. I’m so fucking close.” 

“Me too, Matty,” you whimpered, grinding against his fingers to take more. 

The orgasm crackled over you like a lightning strike, singing your veins with heat as your boyfriend continued to fuck you with his fingers. Mattheo wasn’t satisfied with one orgasm. He coaxed another out of you, laughing as you greedily bucked against his hand, biting into his shoulder while the second wave hit. 

By the time your third orgasm rolled around, you genuinely felt as though you’d left your own body. Mattheo only relented when your eyes rolled back and your legs trembled, cries of his name falling sweetly from your lips. 

“Tú eres dulce como el azúcar.”

You opened your eyes slowly and found Mattheo lapping up your cum, swirling and sucking his fingers clean with a smirk. You’re sweet like sugar. Though the words were seemingly innocent, Mattheo was anything but. Your boyfriend knew exactly how much it turned you on when he spoke Spanish and he was definitely using it to his advantage.

“That was just the appetizer, baby. Got you all warmed up for my cock. Think you can take it, Y/N?” 

“I’ve been waiting all week,” you responded hoarsely. 

“It’s worth the wait,” Mattheo declared cockily as he flipped you over. He stripped you of your clothes, carelessly tossing them behind his shoulder while he positioned your hands on the tiled wall. You groaned as he bent you at an angle, smacking your ass before he lined up behind you. “I promise to fucking ruin you, mi pinche puta.” 

Anticipation coiled in your stomach as Mattheo sank in slowly. Both of you groaned as he slid all the way in, twitching as he stuffed you full. It was familiar yet new at the same time. It had always been a tight fit, but given your involuntary break, you could feel yourself struggling to adjust to his size once again. 

Mattheo gripped your hips, leaving bruises in his wake as he slid all the way out. You whined at the loss, but it wasn’t long before he thrusted all the way back in, knocking the air out of your lungs as he set a punishing pace. You braced yourself against the tile as he spread your legs further apart, allowing him to hit an even deeper angle. 

“Oh fuck, how do you always feel so good?” Mattheo grunted as his hips snapped against your ass, brutally burying himself inside of your pussy over and over again. “You were made for me, princesa. We’re perfect together.”

”Matty, baby, please…”

You keened as Mattheo tugged you by the hair, kissing you sloppily as he continued to ruin you. He cupped your tits, flicking his thumb over your nipples as he squeezed your flesh between his rough, calloused hands. Mattheo kneaded your breasts and used the momentum to drive deeper. His palm trailed down your torso, pressing against your stomach to feel himself moving with each thrust. 

Tears streaked your cheeks as your eyes rolled back. “Oh gods. Fuck me. Right there, baby. You fill me up so good. I love being full of you.” 

“Yeah?” Mattheo drawled as his hand crawled up your throat. “You like when I fuck you rough? Deep down, you just want to be treated like a slut. Don’t you, princess?” 

“I do,” you breathed, groaning as Mattheo squeezed your neck. “But I’m only a slut for you, Mattheo.” 

“Damn fucking right, baby.” He said proudly. “This pussy is mine. All fucking mine.” 

You clenched, squeezing him so tightly that Mattheo felt like he might cum then and there. “So greedy. Milking me fucking dry. God, you’re perfect. Mi princesa, mi vida, mi amor.” Your boyfriend shuddered as you grinded against him, picking up the momentum as the two of you neared euphoria. “That’s it, baby. Just like that. Fuck, I’m gonna cum—“

”Cum inside me, Matty. I want to feel you. I want all of it.” 

Mattheo cursed, his body seizing as he came with a loud cry. The sensation of him filling you to the brim, his hot cum dripping out of you and coating the inside of your thighs was enough to send you over the edge. You trembled as the orgasm hit you all at once and nearly passed out from the sheer force of it. 

Fortunately, strong arms wrapped around you before your legs could give out from underneath you. Mattheo pulled you against him, holding your trembling body as you came down from the high. You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder as he cleaned you up. Your boyfriend took his time washing your body, taking great care when it came to your sensitive core. 

You smiled up at him as he lathered shampoo into your hair, letting you return the favor and sighing in satisfaction as you scratched his scalp. Mattheo grinned, flashing you a lovesick smile as you rinsed the product out of his hair. 

“I love you so fucking much,” he whispered softly. 

“I love you more,” you countered.

”Impossible.” 

After the two of you dried off, you leaned against the wall and allowed Mattheo to clothe you in his hoodie and sweats. He tied your shoes before giving you a sweet peck. 

“Ready, princesa?” 

You nodded and took his hand. Without the support of the solid wall, your legs wobbled as you struggled to walk. Mattheo caught you around the waist, a smirk tugging at his handsome face. 

“I warned you, Y/N.” He looked entirely too smug and satisfied for your liking. “Told you I’d fuck you until you couldn’t walk.” 

Your boyfriend chuckled as you rolled your eyes. “Poor baby. Don’t worry, mi amor. Let your Matty take care of you, hm?” 

“I take it back. I kind of hate you right now, Mattheo.” 

You squealed as he picked you up bridal style. He didn’t even break a sweat as he carried you across the field. “No, you don’t. But you can fuck me like you do.” 

“Deal.”

[adventuringblind]

I See Your Beauty

Charles Leclerc x Verstappen!reader

Genre: a little angst mixed with fluff and comfort

Summary: the youngest Verstappen is forced to do life without her vision. Thinking she might not be able fully experience her life due to the remarks of her father, she concedes that finding love is unlikely. Until she runs into Charles who helps her believe she doesn’t need her eyesight to be loved.

Warnings: Jos is his own warning now. Talks of disability and reader having an accident. Talks and depictions of verbal and physical abuse.

Request: nope this is self-indulgent. However, I am taking requests for Max, Charles, Lando, Oscar, and Daniel.

Notes: written in third person. Also, this fic deals with disabilities, particularly blindness. I myself am blind though I still have some vision left, which is mainly what I’m basing this off of. Please remember that blindness is a spectrum like many other disabilities. It is defined really by a loss of vision that can’t be corrected. I’m open to answering questions about it if y’all have any. My inbox and asks are always open :)

Masterlist

The youngest of the Verstappen’s very close with her brother, Max. The two are barely a year apart so it makes sense. Though they get in each others nerves often as well. Victoria doing her best as the oldest to settle arguments between the two.

Jos decided that two children in racing gives him better odd then just one. Electing to have both start karting at an early age.

They liked racing together. Getting used to being each others rocks when their father was harsher then necessary. It became routine for the two to defend each other.

Then everything changed.

The two were moving up through the ranks. Competing harder then ever to make your dad proud.

The accident wasn’t her fault. A consequence of her father from trying to build a faster car and not having test run it.

The engine exploded during the race. Every one of her senses ranged useless as she tried to react.

Ears ringing.

Smoke from the fire burning in her nose.

Blood from whatever hitting her knocking her teeth into her lip.

Heat nipping at her skin.

Lack of sight making her steering erratic.

Max had immediately rushed to aid his sister. Their father only staring in disappointment. He became resentful of his father that day.

The ambulance arrived and took you away. Max begged to go with but Jos ignored his request, telling him he needed help cleaning up his youngest daughter mess.

After hours the finally arrived back home. The other two Verstappen’s confused why the youngest was nowhere to be found. Max finally broke down in tears, much to his father dislike, and clutched Victoria for comfort. Telling her everything that had happened.

While three of them went to the hospital to find you, the fourth sat wallowing in disgrace at the display from his children today. He couldn’t admit he’d made a mistake. One that might have cost him a child.

Meanwhile the youngest was out of surgery. Continually crying for her family. The nurses had tried to reach her father who had given the medics his cell number, but they had yet to hear from him.

When her family arrived she tried her best to make out their faces. The sparks from the engine had been so bright that they burned her retinas. The combination of the fire doing permanent damage. The impact of the engine had knocked her helmet almost all the way off and she instinctively pushed it away to try and see again. The protection of the visor gone.

The three siblings cuddled together in her hospital bed. The youngest not fully comprehending why she couldn’t see. The lights were too bright. She was squinting to make out the small details.

Things didn’t improve after that. Jos became angry towards her. Constantly reminding the girl of what happened, what she did wrong, and how if she hadn’t messed up she might have been successful.

Regardless, she listened to him berate her at everyone of Max’s races. He stopped commenting about Max when she was within earshot. Mostly because she told him off every time he insulted her brother. Jos already deemed her the disappointment of the family, standing up for Max couldn’t possibly make things worse.

Max had also gotten more protective of his sister. Having been the one to pull her away from the wreckage and cleaning up the damage made him realize he didn’t want you to get hurt again.

He made it to every doctors appointment he could. He attended as much physical therapy as you would let him. He even put on a blind fold so he could understand a bit better. He helped her learn cane skills and how to guide you himself. All in an effort to help his sister feel less alone.

He was aware she still had some eyesight lift. Mostly cloudy and bright patches dotted her eyes making it difficult to make out where things are and any specific details. She liked seeing what she could of her siblings faces though.

Max determined he was going to bring you to every race with him. The Verstappen losing all ability to drive now making things harder for her and she didn’t want to stay with her father.

Victoria had a room for her in her house and let her stay when she needed. Max always made sure there was a room for her if she wanted to travel with him. She loved how willing her sibling were to help her out. However, it left her feeling useless and vulnerable at times.

Eventually, Max helped get her a job with Redbull as a strategist. She enjoyed playing with the different data. Listening became a more essential job then seeing.

Race days were spent in the garage unnoticed in the back. Hopefully out of view of the cameras and away from her father. They saw each other often, much to her dismay. He always had something to say to her when Max wasn’t around.

It was during her downtime that she met Charles.

~

Deciding her cane was unnecessary since she knew her way around the paddock and the ground is relatively flat, she went to hunt down her brother.

Neither party was paying attention leading to them running straight into each other. She could vaguely make out the Ferrari red race suit standing in front of her. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” Came the voice of Charles Leclerc. Though the two had never formally met, she had heard during interviews enough to know his voice.

“It’s alright, neither was I.” She smiled at the Monegasque. “Have you seen Max anywhere?”

He chuckles. “Unfortunately no. Are you his girlfriend?”

The question makes her laugh hysterically. “I’m his sister.” She can hear him sigh in relief at the clarification.

“That’s better at least because I wanted to say that you are very beautiful.” The playfulness in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed. Completely taking her off guard. Sure she’d gotten complements, but not often enough to make her used to them. The words of Jos not letting her believe them anyway. “Would it be alright if I give you my number?”

She lost all words in that moment. This had never happened before. “Sure-” she manages to stutter out before handing him her phone. The screen reading out things to her so she could get to her intended destination.

“I’ve never see a phone do that before.” Charles takes the phone from her and starts to put in his information.

She mentally face palms herself. Obviously he hasn’t realized she’s blind. “Actually I don’t have much of my eyesight.” She play with the bottom of her shirt. Her father having instilled in her that her blindness is something to be ashamed of.

“Wait- so you are blind? That is very interesting, I would like to know more if you’re okay with it.” The curiosity in his voice rising.

She wasn’t prepared for this. Nobody asks her questions about her condition. Even Christian doesn’t touch the subject and she never brings it up in conversation. “I guess, if your really interested.”

“Great, I’ll see you later tonight. Send me the address of where you’re staying.” His playful and flirty manner never faulted as he walked past her. Leaving the girl confused and blushing.

Little did she know that Charles had seen her around the paddock. Mostly hanging off of Max’s arm. He assumed she’d never notice him wave or try to get her attention. Turns out she couldn’t see him. He knows better then to assume. He blames it on the anxiety of being around her.

The youngest Verstappen finished up her duties as quick as possible. Catching a ride with her brother back to the hotel. He has learned to read her though and immediately noticed something was different. “What’s going on with you? You seem very smiley today.” He laughs.

“I can’t tell you because you’ll hate me.” She did her best not to appear nervous but was ultimately failing. Her hands fiddling in her lap.

“I could never hate you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

She glances over at him. Eyes planted on the road. His calm demeanor putting her at ease. “Charles Leclerc asked me on a date tonight.”

Max begins laughing hysterically. His once smooth driving now a bit jerky from his sudden movements. “You thought I would hate you because of a date?”

She stutters a bit. “Well- aren’t you two rivals?” She manages. His laughing throwing her emotions all over the place.

“Sure, on the track. Off the track we are still friends and I trust him.” He explains. Relief floods through her body at his words. Her confidence in the situation going up a little.

She can feel the smug look on Max’s face. “Do you want help getting ready?”

~

The two siblings spent over an hour playing dress up. Max eventually having to video call Victoria and ask her opinion. The two trying to make their sister feel like she owns the world.

Dressing is less tricky then make-up. Sometimes she didn’t feel like it was worth the struggle and didn’t put it on. Some day she had to call Victoria to make sure everything looked right. If there was good lighting she was typically fine, but tonight was not one of those nights.

Growing up between two sisters, Max had learned a decent amount about make-up. He even enjoyed getting to do it on his sisters if they would let him. The almost squeal he let our when his sister asked for help was both hilarious and ridiculous. Immediately setting things up on the bathroom counter and going to work.

Max could tell his sister was anxious. Their father having scared away any of your potential boyfriends. Even going as far as to tell they that she is diseased. One of the worst things about having Jos around the garage, is that you’re left with him.

Though Max has stepped in many time and even lectured his father about his word choices, he never let up on any of the Verstappen children. All of them getting some aspect of their father’s insecurity thrown back at them like it’s their fault.

When he was done, Max tried to sooth your nerves. “Dad isn’t around. He’s in his own hotel room. Go have fun.”

And that’s exactly what she did.

The conversation between her and Charles flowed. He asked questions that weren’t invasive and was respectful if she didn’t want to answer. He made her laugh ridiculously hard.

So they kept doing it. She had to follow Redbull for work which made things easier in the two. Finding down time to meet up or celebrating together after races.

After the season was over, the two went on a holiday together.

Charles spent a good amount of time learning from her (and in turn Max) how to guide if the need ever arose.

Charles was so gentle with her. Always letting her know if there was something unexpected around. Telling her who was in the room.

If felt like a dream. One she never wanted to wake up from. Charles had assured her multiple times that she wasn’t dreaming and that their love is very real.

But alas, Jos likes to make things difficult.

~

A few races into the new season, Charles still had yet to formally meet Jos and the Verstappen siblings intended on keeping it that way. It wasn’t secret. Everyone in the paddock know the two were dating. Jos just hadn’t had the chance to talk to him yet.

She’d mentioned her childhood a few times but could never get out the full extent of what happened. Charles thankfully is patient with her and lets her take her time. He knows Jos’ reputation. Her childhood couldn’t have been the most amazing with him around.

This particular race, she was forced into close proximity with him. There had been a mistake during a pit stop for Max which made him lose some positions. Ending the race in fifth. To her it isn’t bad at all, but to the angry Dutchman unleashing his fury on everything, it most certainly is.

Sensing his rising anger, she had pulled her father into a more secluded area. Hoping that Max wouldn’t come back to the garage for awhile. At least not before she could talk some sense into their father.

She said nothing as strings of curse words left his lips. Only waiting for him to run out of breath.

“Did you see how he got lazy? He would’ve finished higher after the idiots didn’t do their jobs if he had put in more effort.”

“Max put in all his effort and you know it.” She scoffs. Arms folded over her chest. This is nothing new to her.

“Like you have any room to talk.” He snaps back. Her head now sagging, knowing his anger is now finding a new direction.

Charles, on the other hand, had been looking for her. It’s his first win of the season and she is nowhere to be found. Max ran up to him as the podium celebration ended. Patting him on the back for his well earned win.

“Have you seen your sister anywhere, mate?” He asked the Dutch.

Max ponders for a moment. “She might still be in the garage debriefing after what happened.” He replies. “I can walk you over if you want.”

The two drivers made their way to the Redbull garage to find most of those who would normally be inside, standing outside in a huddle. “What the hell is happening?” Max shouts over to Christian as the two approach him.

“I was just about to go find you.” Christian sighs in exasperation. “Can I call security on your father? He hasn’t stopped shouting since the race finished up.”

Charles and Max exchanged glances. The young woman’s absence now making more sense. “I’ll try and talk him down.” Stated Max before weaving his way through the sea of Redbull shirts. Charles following close behind.

Before the two could get further away, Christian yelled out to them. “Good luck, your sister has been trying!” The statement make the two move faster.

Charles could feel his emotions bubbling as the shouting got louder. As him and Max turn the corner, he immediately spots who he’d been looking for. Tears rolling down her cheeks as she felt around the floor looking for something.

Max steps in between her and the angry Dutch, shouting back and forth in their native tongue. Charles tries to spot what she’s feeling for. Scanning the ground until he spots her phone. The entire thing shattered. Small pieces of glass just barely reflecting the light. He’s down by her side in an instant.

“Love, it’s Charles, max is here also, I’m going to get you out of here okay?”

Her body turns towards Charles. It’s then he notices the specks of blood dotting her hands from feeling around the glass and a deep purple bruise forming on her forehead.

She’s struggling to breath now. Listening to the angry shouts. The pain in her head and the bright fluorescents not helping her see anything. She back in the crash.

Her father had spend from the end of the race until now laying into her. She had successfully defended Max and thought she was prepared to take the brunt of it. Until he snatch her phone and threw it at her. It hit her head so hard she was in the ground in seconds. Trying to feel her way around to where it might have gone so she could call Max.

The words were so familiar to her. The ones she heard in her nightmares when she was once again surrounded by smoke and bright lights stealing away her vision.

“I don’t want to crash again Charles. It’s to hot. It hurts too much. I can’t see anything.” She tried to search for him but ended up with more glass in her palm. The tears only thickening.

“Stay put, okay? I’m going to help Max and then I’ll be right back.” He didn’t want to leave her on the floor. She looked like a child, and so did Max in this moment. The two getting their fathers wrath with no end in sight.

Charles sprints back to Christian, yelling at him to call security, then sprints back to Max.

“Mr. Verstappen I think you are out of line here.” Says the monegasque. Signaling Max to stay with you. He didn’t move at first but it was obvious he was getting nowhere, so he obliged. Kneeling down to help his sister calm her breathing.

Jos scoffs at Charles. “You have no right to get in between me and my children.” Anger pooling from his features.

“I mean no disrespect sir, but you’re being an asshole.”

“And is she-“ he jabs his finger at the girl on the floor, “-not disgusting.” Charles almost hits him but refrains from doing so knowing security will be arriving soon.

“On the contrary, I think she is an angel.”

“She’s diseased. She hasn’t even tried to fix her mistakes. Look at her! She just wants attention for what she did to herself!”

Now Charles doesn’t hesitate to punch him. His fist colliding with Jos’ jaw, sending him stumbling into the wall.

Max took his attention off his sister, who was leaning against him, and placed it on Charles. Shock clearly evident of his features.

Jos attempted to confront Charles again, but security finally showed up and escorted Jos out of the paddock.

Charles exhales, glad the confrontation is over. “That’s not how I imagined meeting your father for the first time.” Charles chuckles nervously.

Is doesn’t take much longer until Charles has his love safely wrapped in his arms. Whisking her away to his hotel room. Max had stayed ti make sure everything got cleaned up at the paddock. Kelly arriving shortly with Penelope in tow, ready to comfort Max.

She cried when they were finally safe inside. Pouring out to Charles about the accident and what it had caused in her life. He listened intently, doing his best to soothe the girl. Her panic still clearly evident.

Soon enough she’d calmed. Her head laying in Charles lap while he threaded his fingers through her hair.

“It don’t care what anyone else says. I see your beauty and it is not defined by what you can’t see.”

[cupid-styles]

YES! I will eat up any crumbs you have!

Some ideas that would be cute to see would be would be jealousy, idk from which side. Maternity shopping or any baby shopping! First kick! Also Im not sure yet if their friends know but that would be cool to read too!

AH here u go cutie pie!!!! thank you for enjoying them as much as i do hehehe <3333

content warnings: pregnant yn/baby talk

word count: 963

. . .

"Can you stop pacing?"

Harry stops in his tracks, turning on his heel to look at a very exasperated looking Y/N. He's trying to ignore the fact that she's only wearing a flimsy paper hospital gown, legs spread with her feet in those awful metal stirrups. 

He can't help that he's nervous about seeing their baby for the first time, especially considering the circumstances — they almost didn't make it to this point and, on top of that, Y/N almost attended this appointment without him. He had to convince her to let him come; her argument being something along the lines of, "But the doctor's gonna, like... look up my vag and stuff."

(Unfortunately for her, that wasn't enough to stop Harry.)

"I'm anxious," he mutters, crossing his arms over his chest as he shuffles over to her side.

"Don't get too close or I may punch you when she sticks stuff inside of me," Y/N quickly replies, holding her hand out to create distance between them, "Also, you're anxious? You just get to stand there and do nothing!"

Harry sighs. Frankly, he's a bit too tired to fight her on this. She'd been texting him all night about worries she had, wondering if the cup of coffee she had two weeks ago would hurt the baby, or — her words — "what if they look weird?"

"I know, you're right. How are you feeling?" Harry asks in an attempt to make her feel prioritized.

She shrugs her shoulders. She's surprised by his kind response and she doesn't have a good response prepared.

"'m nervous, too." she finally mumbles out, the admittance of her own worries somehow embarrassing to her.

He nods understandingly. "Well, we'll just see what happens, I guess, but at least we're here for each other. I would never want you to go through this alone."

Y/N bites her bottom lip and lays her head back against the firm cushioning of the table. 

"I would agree, but your pacing is pissing me off too much to feel grateful."

Harry's groan is cut off by a knock on the door, punctuated by Y/N's doctor's head peeking in. 

"Can I come in?" 

As soon as Y/N answers her, it's a flurry of questions and answers that only Y/N can answer. What was the first day of your last period? Do you have a history of high blood pressure? What's your family medical history? Are you on any medications? Who's your primary care doctor? When did you take a pregnancy test?

Harry's head is spinning as reality begins to hit him square in the face. He's having a child. With someone he barely knows. They had sex once — a one night stand, for fuck's sake — and now they were committing to raising a child together.

Were they absolutely insane?

He starts to think he may be when the doctor asks for her full name and he realizes he doesn't even know her middle name. Anxiety is clawing at his stomach and chest, his throat dry as the doctor rubs some weird jelly on Y/N's exposed stomach. Unexpectedly, Y/N gasps at the texture and reaches out to grab Harry's hand, muttering out something about it being cold.

He knows that he's fine, but it feels like she's squeezing the life out of his hand and it's only making his nerves worsen. He's ready to run for the hills, give her half the money for an abortion like she said a few weeks back — until it starts.

A steady thumping in quick successions. The sound fills the entire room and Harry's world stops.

"That's your baby's heartbeat."

He swallows harshly, his eyes zeroing in on the image on the screen. He always thought parents to-be that cried at sonogram pictures were a little silly — you can barely tell what's going on, but in that moment, Harry understands. It's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. A series of blobs that he immediately identifies with and feels attached to — his baby.

He looks over to Y/N, who has tears streaming down her cheeks. He smiles gently and gives her hand a small squeeze.

"They're beautiful," she whispers. 

"I think they have your nose." Harry whispers back.

"Don't be dumb," she mutters, wiping the tears away, "You can't see shit, Harry."

He just laughs and asks the doctor for as many prints of the sonogram they're allowed.

. . .

"You're what?"

Y/N stares back at her and Harry's friends, all of who look like they're the ones who just found out they're having a baby.

She clears her throat, repeating her words. "I'm pregnant. And Harry's the dad."

At the mention of his name, Harry scrambles, quickly pulling the sonogram pictures out of his pocket and placing them on the table. 

"I'm sorry, what the fuck?" Lucy's the first to speak up, her eyes wide as they flicker back and forth from Y/N to Harry. "You guys hate each other."

Y/N shrugs. 

"It was a one night thing," Harry says, offering a smidgen of context.

"And so...?" Dom asks.

"We wanted to have a baby," Y/N replies defensively, crossing her arms over her chest, "I got pregnant. We talked about it. We're gonna have a kid. Any other questions?"

Lea sighs quietly, turning to look at Y/N. "We're not pissed or anything, babe. We're just concerned, that's all."

She nods curtly as Lucy reaches out to look at the sonograms. Dom looks over her shoulder, smiling fondly at the pictures.

"It doesn't have to be a big thing. Friends have babies all the time," Harry says, "Like Y/N explained, we've both always wanted to be parents and this is just the opportunity for us. I'm going to be there to support her the entire time and we wanted you guys to know what's going on."

Y/N swallows, ignoring the way her heart warms ever so slightly at Harry defending their choice. The reasoning sounds much better coming out of his mouth. When she says it, it feels like it's some stupid haphazard explanation, but with him, it's as if it's been calculated and planned.

Their friends all nod their heads as they process Harry's words.

She clears her throat, nervously picking at her fingernails underneath the table. "We're... committed to doing this together," she says, her voice shaking ever so slightly. "And we're going to love this baby more than anything else in the world."

Harry wants to reach out and take her hand into his, but he resists the urge, knowing she'd just yell at him. A gentle smile worms its way on Lucy's face as Lea nods, an affectionate look brightening over her expression. 

"We're so happy for you both," Dom says, passing the sonogram pictures back to Harry.

Harry doesn't miss the small smile that appears on Y/N's face. Besides, he can barely hold his in.

[starsomens]

Warnings: language! Argument! Established relationship! Noah puts his hands on Y/N, BUT NOT HITTING!!!

Noah was the owner of many businesses and companies. One of his earlier and most successful investments was a strip club and bar. After he invested and fixed it up it was bringing enough money for him to invest and build other businesses. Aside from him being the head of an organization it was just extra income. However, before you started dating he’d go on the weekends and stay there most nights to see how it’s doing or just enjoy the club

But after you had been dating for about 2 years, he let you in on what his life was really like. The luxury, the money, the danger, the true way the system had worked. He told you if you wanted to leave he’d understand and he wouldn’t hold it against you nor would he try and convince you to stay. But you never wanted him for the money or perks or anything like that. You loved him for him……although currently you wanted to rip his head off.

You knew that there were times where he had to go and observe his investments, even if that meant posing as a customer. He was late to a special dinner you had planned and you were so pissed you made one of his men take you to his location. When you had pulled into the parking lot of the club you groaned. You had asked him not to go just because you felt uncomfortable with him being in there. He said he’d try to go as least as could, but that lasted only a short while, then back to regular visits.

Recognizing who you were security let you in through the back door without a second thought. You knew which private booth was for him and his investors and you had only seen them at first….until some girl only wearing a thong had straddled his lap. Her body was swaying and grinding against him and you could feel your blood boiling. You didn’t move and instead decided to simply call his phone and when he picked up you asked

“Are you enjoying your little dance Mr.Sebastian?” He looked over and saw you. He had gotten up as if the girl wasn’t even there and ran after you. The entire ride home was an argument and here you were still arguing about an hour in and 1 vase broken that you had beamed at him out of anger

“I fucking own the club what do you want me to fucking do Y/N!?” He yelled back at you

“I don’t know maybe don’t fucking go!” You answer

“Oh alright and let us go broke, let shit fall apart right?” He furrowed his brows as his hands rest on his hips

“Oh who gives a fuck about the fucking Money!?” You fall into a chair and rest your forehead in your palm

“You seem to give a fuck about the money” he chuckles more out of frustration than actual humor “we’ve fabric in your body, every gem, each nail and inch of make up is because I go to the fucking club and make sure shit is running how it’s it’s supposed to”

“Oh so having some naked girl in your lap is being you money?” You asked as you stand from your steps again

“I have businesses to run Y/N. That bring us money, the money that gets us food, this fixing house, all your clothes and cars and jewelry” he tells you as he waves his hands in front of him frantically, his usually calm temper coming to its end

“I don’t give a shit!” You stomp your foot “if you visit that club so much you gotta be fucking one of them, why else would you go so often?!” You were honestly speaking out of anger ans frustration but why would he go so fucking often?

“Oh don’t fucking being that bullshit up. If you’re gonna use something against me at least make it a good argument” he rolled his eyes “

“I see how they all fucking look at you. They always want to come and give you a little dance” you push more as you step closer to him “and you love it don’t you? You love knowing you still got it huh?”

“Y/N stop-“

“Am I just not enough for you?”

“Y/N no one said-“

“You want to go and fucking Cheat every weekend and feel good about it?” You keep going

“Y/N…stop. Now.” Noah took a deep breath.

“I’d you fucking like her so much then go and fuck her then!” You yell at him

“Y/N!-“

“Maybe She’ll suck your dick and make you food aside form fucking other people too-“ you keep going and going as your hands dance in front do your face to emphasize what you meant

“Y/N!” He finally snapped and grabbed both do your forearms stopping your motions and being you close to his face “you say one more fucking word about it, I’ll make sure you don’t speak another word for the rest of the night, do you understand?”

“I-I-“ you try and answer but your voice was caught in your throat

“Do you understand?!” He raised his voice more and shook you as he asked again He’s never spoken to you like that before. He never wanted to. You weren’t everyone else. You were his girl.

All that could be heard was his panting and your voice trying to escape from your throat as a cry. He realized his grip on you was too tight, you were shaking and your eyes were scared….of him. He lets you go and overlooks you. You arms come in close to your body, almost shielding yourself from him

“Y/N…baby I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to do that I-i” he reach out to you just for you to step back further from him

What has he done? You slowly make make your way to the door without looking away

“Baby please, im so sorry you know I’d never hurt you!” He tried to console you but you ran out as soon as the door opened “Y/N wait!”

He called for you but you don’t look back as you disappear upstairs most likely into the bedroom.

“FUCK!” Cursed out and slammed the door to his office. His fist finding the wall with a pinch, chairs kicked, papers scattered.

In this world you become what you practice. In his line of work he had swore to you and himself that he’d NEVER let you be on the receiving end…now look at him

He became what he hated the most.

Part 2????👀 part 2

「✨Taglist✨」 @lilhobgobbler @cncohshit @vir-tual @tdopomymind @concretenoah @misspygmypie @fvckmeorchokeme @lust-for-sacher @thescarlettvvitch @cind6547 @itsmrsfuentes @purple-lili @lma1986

[booksbluegurl]

A rant I sent to my friends a week ago to share my frustration :

How life can so easily turn into a barren road, where you don't see people, you only hear them. And these voices are all in your head. They could be real, they could be fake, they could be straightforward, they could be exaggerated. Its funny how your dreams of graduer, of success, of satisfaction, of happiness turn into a tiny stream of water that's ready to get out of your eyes at any moment someone asks you "kya hua?"

Who would I be without the completion of what I thought was always mine? It runs in my veins, it runs in my blood, it does a damn marathon in my mind. I know one thing for sure, I'm not like other kids, I'm worse. But I'm subtly worse, which is definitely the worst. Because when you're bad, loudly, you get attention, your pain has sympathy, your fears are relatable, your cries have people either wanting to soothe you or wanting to shut you up.

But good for others, I'm already shut up. I don't speak enough, coz all thats happened is not enough to speak about it. Once in a while, during a grand tragedy, I finally get a chance to weave my thoughts into tangible words. It sucks. But nothing is better I'm told. But my goodness, the grass does look greener on the other side. Perhaps because it's nourished with the tears of a loud cry. But I dont wanna break down. Do I think I'm strong because I try not to break down? Do you think I'm strong? I'm not, I'm fragile. I'm barely holding myself. My roots are strong though, I'm just a tiny blade of grass and what a lovely job my roots are doing while holding me upright. Though I do end up swaying. I hate that. I wanna be focused, I wanna be clear. And some would argue that I am. But not enough, some would argue that. There's never an argument that satisfies everybody. But really what do I wanna be?

There's so much self pity lounging in my mind that I think I'll need a month to sort through it. To clean it and discard it. But I dont have a month. Am I having pre exam anxiety? Like hundreds of people out there. I sometimes hate it when people mention that I'm not the only one. I know. That's the problem. That's the only problem. That my struggles aren't enough. I need to feel more pain. संघर्ष

To feel like I can stand up against them all in this fight. And its so easy and that's why its so brutal. And I've never worked hard enough to get whatever I want. But have I really not? Or have I just gaslighted myself? Am I really as terrible even after trying? Is it really just my mistake? Is there really a problem with my mind? Is it really me? Only me? Am I the only thing that's wrong with me?

Why am I not like others? I haven't given years to something and succeeded. But I have given years and failed. And I'm really on the verge of falling down, right when the marathon is about to end. Why am I not disciplined enough? Why am I not genius enough? I started working hard since day one but I haven't worked hard enough. Never enough, never enough, never enough. Wish this phrase was like the word impossible. The more you chant it, the more it says just the opposite.

I still have a lot bottled up but this is not the right time to share anymore. If you've reached here, don't reply to me, just share your favorite quote.

- Tanishka.

[anotherkindofmindpod]

I just listened to a series of episodes on Allen Klein on another podcast I generally enjoy and was surprised by how I felt they didn't give enough attention or weight to Klein's hostile and aggressive treatment of Paul. I find super detailed discussions of specific events, missteps, and actions by both "camps" in this period almost superfluous compared to the foundational truth that Klein's approach to and treatment of Paul was totally inappropriate for someone who wanted to *be his employee and represent his interests,* which required a strong element of trust. That would be true in any situation with any person, but bullying and intimidation were also the absolute worst approach to take with Paul, in particular. This is a trend I notice in discussions of this period in general. For all his alleged ability to read people, Klein pegged Paul totally wrong from the start. Even if all of the other business stuff didn't happen, it still seems to me that Paul would have found it fundamentally untenable to be treated like this by Klein (and his bandmates and closest friends), especially at this stage in his life and career. Klein may have realized that but certainly underestimated it and assumed Paul would be unhappy but cowed by the other three (mostly John) and the payoff of Klein's presumed financial success for the band. He never seems to have seriously attempted to course correct or change his approach, even right up through Paul's lawsuit. I don't think he imagined in a million years Paul would reach his breaking point and leave the band, but I find it hard to see any other eventual outcome (though it may have taken longer to happen if events had played out differently). There seems to be this obsession now with identifying specific business events during this time and assigning weight and blame, alongside a bizarre new trend to reassess or rehabilitate Klein's image by concluding "actually, Klein wasn't a bad manager for the Beatles because he got them more royalties!" I've found that most of these conversations ignore or minimize what seems to me the obvious truth that Klein's approach was doomed to failure from the start because he just did not understand Paul at the most basic level. Approaching the conversation like this also seems to weirdly ignore the fact that Paul was an actual member of the band and Klein was not -- Paul and Klein's behavior and actions toward each other are often assessed in the same way, as if Klein were a Beatle himself. Sorry for this monster of a message, but I apparently have a lot of feelings about this!

We got you, fam! We spend 30 minutes on Klein in our latest episode (answering an ask similar to yours!). Listen HERE Suffice to say: We agree with you on all points and then some! Thank you for taking the time it write in and thank you for listening to AKOM ❤️ My full rebuttal is in the ep, but here's the excerpt from The McCartney Legacy I read:

In London, Justice Stamp handed down his decision on March 12, 1971, and it vindicated virtually every clause of McCartney's complaint. Listening to his brother-in-law's summary of the verdict over the phone, McCartney felt the jubilation that comes from having an uninvolved third party listen to your argument and agree entirely-a striking contrast to the fruitless debates in which he engaged with John and George all through 1969.

Justice Stamp found that the appointment of Klein and ABKCO to run Apple without McCartney's agreement was "a breach in the terms of the partnership deed.” Moreover, he noted that in several cases, Klein had taken fees greater than those to which he was entitled -or as he put it when addressing Klein's commission on EMI earnings, "ABKCO has made grossly excessive claims for commission and has received commission grossly in excess of that specified" in the agreement engaging Klein to manage Apple.

He found that decisions were made that Paul was not, but should have been, consulted about, and he gave the back of his hand to the other Beatles' argument that Paul sometimes could not be found, noting that if they could not reach him directly, they could have gone through his legal adviser, John Eastman. In one especially egregious case, he found that the Beatles and Apple had "acted in bad faith" by making a "covert oral agreement increasing ABKCO's commission" without McCartney's knowledge and consent--a "grave breach of duties" as McCartney's partners.

He also called out Klein's dishonesty in two sections of his affidavit and expressed irritation with Finer, who knew that those sections were inaccurate, but when challenged by Hirst, described them as "silly" and a mistake- something that, Justice Stamp argued, was a waste of the court's time. Klein's statements, he added, "read to me like the irresponsible patter of a second-rate salesman." Nor was he much impressed by Klein's explanation that his recent tax conviction was just a misunderstanding.

The bottom line was, Justice Stamp agreed that both business and personal considerations militated toward the dissolution of the partnership.

"Each of the Beatles has made and is making recordings otherwise than as the group of four referred to in the partnership deed. There is an issue whether the product of these separate recordings is or is not partnership property."

If so, he continued, this would cause "the odd situation" in which the four Beatles, "exercising their art separately, with inevitably varying degrees of skill and success" are contributing to the

partnership in different proportions, all under the management of Klein, who McCartney mistrusts. if, on the other hand, the income from solo work was not "partnership property” as McCartney argued, the Beatles would be competing against one another, and possibly against Beatles recordings. Either way, the judge wrote, the best solution was to bring the partnership to an end.

"The squabblings which are described in detail in the affidavit evidence may in truth be attributable primarily to the management situation but also to the situation in which the Beatles find themselves in the respects which I just mentioned. Confidence is gone; and although the discontinuance of joint recordings- and I am satisfied on the evidence the possibility of their being resumed is negligible-is not in theory destructive of the partnership, it may be thought as a practical matter that it would be inequitable to do otherwise than dissolve it."

Justice Stamp added a final nail to the partnership's coffin by noting that the other Beatles and Klein had treated McCartney unfairly, and that this was unlikely to change.

"The circumstances regarding the appointment of ABKCO and subsequent surreptitious increase of its remuneration point clearly to the conclusion that the Defendants are prepared, in conjunction with or at the instance of Mr. Klein, to make the most important decisions without regard to the interests of the Plaintiff."

Having ordered the partnership dissolved, Justice Stamp turned to McCartney's demand for the appointment of a receiver. "The financial situation is confused, uncertain and confusing; he wrote. "A receiver is, in my judgment, needed not merely to secure the assets, but so that there may be a firm hand to manage the business fairly as between the partners and to produce order.

He appointed James Douglas Spooner, a London chartered accountant with a reputation as a "company doctor," as receiver and manager. But he agreed to allow a week for the Beatles and Apple to prepare and file an appeal. They did so on March 19, but on April 26, they dropped their appeal, opting instead to negotiate Paul's exit from the partnership agreement.

Airing their dirty laundry in public view had not done the normally PR-savvy mop tops any favors, but for McCartney it was a necessary first step to diminish Klein's control of Apple and, Paul hoped, turn John, George, and Ringo on to Klein's nefarious ways.

"I was doing something for them (the other Beatles], McCartney explained. *I had to go after him [Klein], it was obvious I had to go after him, but I had to go after him in this incredibly crazed way. You know, after all that love and peace I had to turn 'round and sue my brothers. But no one could find any other way for me to make a stand against Klein, so I had to do that.... And obviously they hated me for a period after it because all they could see was me just trying to screw them?

[phoenixkaptain]

Just finished re-reading your fic Switcheroo, and I love it so much. Thus, I offer you the suggestion of young!Tim getting his version of young justice and the extended batfam to help him kidnap his alternate self, if only for a little while to give him a vacation, mayhaps involving yj meeting their alternates, littlest brother acquisition, and fucking with Gotham's rogues

Bruce would definitely be like: “Tim! I told you not without an adult!”

Tim: “Red Tornado was there!!”

Red Tornado, who thought he was just taking the kids for ice cream and did not expect to suddenly find himself part of a kidnapping plot: 😔

I’ve always kind of wanted, if I do write a follow up, to include Klarion in some way, because I really liked Klarion’s interactions with Young Justice (pretty sure they just straight up threatened to kill his cat if he didn’t turn everything back to normal, which was the only successful way to actually get Klarion to turn everythinf back to normal) but I can imagine that the Young Justice kids would be super down to help Tim kidnap and alternate dimension version of himself.

There would definitely be littlest brother acquisition! Both Tims have no idea how to hold a baby, but neither do most of the other Young Justice kids, so they just give Damian to Red Tornado or Cissie. (I’m petty sure, but not positive, that Cissie was used to babysitting in the series, but I may be wrong) The mental image I have of Tim, Cassie, Bart, and Kon all pondering over how to pick up a baby is really funny XD They get into an argument about it… Tim and Kon nearly start punching each other… Bart and Cassie panic and try to convince older Tim to help but he just watches and sighs wistfully and says “Those were the days… I should punch Connor when I get back, just for old time’s sake.”

And fucking with Gotham rogues would be really fun to write. I’ve always imagined a scene where older Jason Robin is out and finds a Rogue, only for a slightly smaller shadow to slip out from behind him. The Rogue doesn’t panic, they’ve become a bit more used to this trick, it won’t fool them again- holy shit a third one??? (A third shadow slips out from beneath the second shadow’s cover, and one can just barely glimpse, in the alleyway only just lit by a streetlamp at the opposite end of it, the glint of teeth in the sharp smile on the third shadow’s face) It would be really fun to write :D

I should probably write the sequel… but first I have to reread nineties Young Justice and the Red Robin run and I’ll read through some Batman comics and I love reading Teen Titans comics and- <— This is why it’s been so long, I’m so sorry to everyone who thought I was quick 🫡

Well, all that aside, I’m very happy that you like the story ヽ(´▽｀)ノ

[turbobyakuren]

Is it worth it to get into Arknights as a new player? I usually avoid getting into games like that unless they're new because then you miss out on a ton of limited/event stuff and feel way behind, so I wanna know before I go downloading like 2 gb with my slow as hell phone. I've heard good stuff about it plus the designs are nice and not as fanservice-y as other mobile games

I think someone who has a doctorate in Arknights can answer this question better than me, so this is just going to be my opinion, but frankly? Yes.

I downloaded Arknights since day one but only first played it after the Flamebringer event (which isn't a lot of time between launch and the moment i started, but that does mean i missed one free unit) and even though it is not a lot of time, I do feel you can get a similar experience 2 years in without experiencing Arknights from day one.

I do think the first few months you're gonna play Arknights are gonna be the months where you'll be building up everything. You'll have to build up your knowledge of the game: start small with the first operators you get and understand how the core gameplay functions, build up your operator pool through recruitment and gacha, build your base to get resources consistently and learn how the operator upgrades work. The game holds your hand through it all and with the amount of new content and QoL updates released, i assume it is fairly easy for any new player to enjoy this early game, which i think is the best early game a mobage has to offer. After that, you'll be good to go.

The only downside of being a new player is that the endgame contents (especially Contingency Contract, which is a limited-time hard mode event, as well as the recent events (although they are manageable)) are going to feel unfair to you, because you haven't had a sufficient number of operators raised to get through it. BUT i reassure you: i've been there and it will pass (i literally never finished the Code Of Brawl event stages until its rerun because i had literally only 2 operators raised to Elite 2).

When it comes to limited banners and events:

Limited Operators do exist, but they are not on the same level as, say, FGO (where every new servant is a limited character at this point). While Limited Operators do tend to be gamebreakers, they are not necessary to enjoy the game fully (this applies to literally every 6*) and you can count them on your two hands (7 limited operators so far in the EN server out of the 53 6* operators available).

Events are ALL available after they're concluded. Even the event stages. And the free units for the events that did get their proper rerun. YES you will be able to get your favourite Silly Pony Whislash. Literally.

I'm running out of time (i need to eat) and of things to say. I'm not sure if i wrote convincing arguments. AND If someone has something to add, they are welcome to. BUT the bottom line is: arknights is super fun, is successful for a reason and is VERY VERY VERY VERY beginner friendly AND free-to-play friendly. I do recommend giving it a try so you can see if you like it enough to stick with it or if it's not your cup of tea.

Seize your destiny. Join the Whislash Monastery. Now.

[lenyul]

To Sir, With Love Episode 2: This Chinese opera performance is not just gay, it's also political!

Yang perfectly executes a market fight, and also establishes that he's still the nicest person ever. The city has Japanese soldiers because of the war, which really narrows down the timeframe, it's definitely 1943. Now we know the year, if only they gave us literally any information about the characters' age.

The scenes with Bua and the boys are the cutest, the three of them should just run away together and live happily ever after, but Tian actually cares about the business so I guess they're stuck.

Li wonders if Tian is the way he is because of her own karma or Zhang's curse. The curse turning Tian gay doesn't make much sense, as it should mostly affect Song by making him feel the rejection from someone he cares about. Still, I am glad the curse is mentioned, if only because I want Zhang to matter. Like it would really suck if he killed himself in the first episode, and that action had no influence on the other characters or the plot.

The sidekicks are not the smartest, but at least this way the moms have plenty of opportunities to explain their plans without resorting to just monologuing to the audience. When Li tells Mud to serve Tian, the best case scenario would be that they have sex and it turns out he was never really gay. Unfortunately for Li, that's not what happens, as Tian is not as interested in keeping his secret as his she is. If he let her stay the night that could have gotten some rumours going, but even that didn't happen, so no one is happy. They yell at each other in the garden about it while Chan eavesdrops from behind the bushes. She finds out nothing, but they have got to stop having these arguments where people can overhear.

We meet Pin! She's adorable and so clumsy that she's basically a walking infomercial. "Don't you just hate it when you're carrying a family heirloom through the market, someone bumps into you slightly and you throw away the priceless vase?" Luckily Yang is there, so she fumbles her way into a meet-cute.

And we finally meet lover boy! Tian's in love, I'm in love, you're in love.

And we made it to the performance! Yang asks Tian what play this is right after the actor introduces themself as Hua Mulan, this is mostly so the viewers feel smart for knowing who Mulan is (even if only from the Disney movie). The story of Mulan has some stuff about disguising who you really are, so it could have some parallels with Tian's feelings. But wait! They adapted the play to protest Japanese soldiers, which means the soldiers start shooting everyone who's there. Yang saves a little kid, and Tian almost gets hurt, but lover boy comes to the rescue.

Lover boy's body count: 2 (this is probably worth keeping an eye on)

We find out that Tian has to get married and have children before he can become the head of the association, and that his mom found a very nice young lady for him in Pin. They take a walk in the gardens where Pin tries to stumble into Tian, which seems like a solid plan until you realise that she's naturally very clumsy, so obviously this doesn't work out. Tian finds an excuse to leave to do Business Success Win so Pin and Yang have time to bond and negotiate blackmail.

Chan finally finds the hairpin that Tian's been hiding for 12 years! She doesn't really think anything of it, because hairpins are not suspicious items (unlike half-burned hairpins).

By the end of this episode, the scene is mostly set, we know the characters (except lover boy, but he's supposed to be mysterious), so we're ready to move on to things (probably mostly murder attempts) happening. Next episode: Will Tian tell her mom that Chan is hiding in the closet? Will Chan find out that Tian is hiding in the closet? Will we find out lover boy's name? (Tiny spoiler: all of these questions have the same answer. (ETA: even tinier spoiler: no they don't, I just completely missed something when i first watched episode 3))

[princeofgod-2021]

LIGHT OF LIFE 493

John 1:4

DIVINE ORDER 58: Law Of The Tree Of Knowledge 6

Gen 2:16-17 But the LORD told him, "You may eat fruit from any tree in the garden, EXCEPT THE ONE THAT HAS THE POWER TO LET YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG. IF YOU EAT ANY FRUIT FROM THAT TREE, YOU WILL DIE BEFORE THE DAY IS OVER!" CEV

ONE LAW 3

The indications of the ONENESS of God’s Divine BOOK OF LAW are quite copiously and elaborately displayed all over scriptures, at least for those who care to LOOK when reading.

This is why it is advisable to read the Word with an open mind rather than to read “the secrets of being successful” or “principles of multiplication”. you will simply get “lost”.

Joh 5:39-40 “You are BUSY ANALYZING THE SCRIPTURES, FRANTICALLY PORING OVER THEM IN HOPES of gaining eternal life. EVERYTHING YOU READ POINTS TO ME, YET YOU STILL REFUSE TO COME TO ME so I can GIVE YOU THE LIFE YOU’RE LOOKING FOR—ETERNAL LIFE! TPT

Everything we read about Patriarchs, the SEED, Branch, Kings, Priests, Prophets and Laws, all Point to Jesus, who is the ONE LAW that ties together all scripture and gives Eternal Life.

Joh 14:6 Jesus said to him, I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life; NO ONE COMES TO THE FATHER BUT BY ME. MKJV

Some of us get distracted when we read some scriptures, thinking the “focus” is isolated.

Jos 1:8 BE SURE THAT THE BOOK OF THE LAW IS ALWAYS READ in your worship. STUDY IT DAY AND NIGHT, and make sure that you obey everything written in it. THEN YOU WILL BE PROSPEROUS AND SUCCESSFUL. GNB

Many Christians read that verse and [mostly] want to equate it with Financial & Material wealth, along with good health and long life to “cap” it all.

In the Spiritual stance however, what do you [really] think God counts Prosperity and [good] Success as?

Psa 119:9 HOW CAN A YOUNG MAN STAY PURE? ONLY BY LIVING IN THE WORD of God and walking in its truth. TPT

Now, is PURITY proportional to Prosperity & Success before God?

Think carefully please.

1Pe 3:3-4 DO NOT LET YOUR ORNAMENTS be THOSE OF THE BODY such as dressing of the hair, or putting on of JEWELS OF GOLD OR FAIR CLOTHING; But LET THEM BE those of the UNSEEN MAN OF THE HEART, THE EVER-SHINING ORNAMENT OF A GENTLE AND QUIET SPIRIT, WHICH IS OF GREAT PRICE IN THE EYES OF GOD. BBE

Now, whom would you have resembled with the image of a Gentle and Quiet spirit please?

Mat 11:29 TAKE MY YOKE ON YOU AND LEARN FROM ME, BECAUSE I AM GENTLE AND HUMBLE IN HEART, and you will find rest for your souls. NET

I have just used some cross reference to show you how scriptures start with Jesus and runs all the way back to Him.

Now, WHO does the cleaning of the young man in Ps 119:9?

Eph 5:26-27 TO MAKE US HOLY AND PURE, cleansing us THROUGH THE SHOWERING OF THE PURE WATER OF THE WORD OF GOD. All that he does in us is designed to make us a mature church for his pleasure, until we become a source of praise to him—GLORIOUS AND RADIANT, BEAUTIFUL AND HOLY, WITHOUT FAULT OR FLAW. TPT

Do you know why worldly riches is too minute on the scale of prosperity in God’s eyes?

Rev 21:21 The 12 gates were 12 pearls. EACH GATE WAS MADE OF ONE PEARL. THE STREET OF THE CITY WAS MADE OF PURE GOLD, as clear as glass. GW

You’ve not seen original Gold till you see those in heaven.

That’s why we’re born with nothing and have no need to go back with anything. There’s much more than enough there.

1Ti 6:6-7 DEVOTION TO GOD IS, IN FACT, A WAY FOR PEOPLE TO BE VERY RICH, BUT ONLY IF IT MAKES THEM SATISFIED WITH WHAT THEY HAVE. When we came into the world, WE BROUGHT NOTHING. AND WHEN WE DIE, WE CAN TAKE NOTHING OUT. ERV

So beloved, JESUS is the “One Stop” LAW of Righteousness and the ticket to heaven.

If any of you has an argument over this, I have no other answer but these same scriptures and many more.

I have no “Mentor” but Jesus; He trained me and these are my lessons.

Act 5:42 And daily in the temple, and in every house, THEY CEASED NOT TO TEACH AND PREACH JESUS CHRIST. KJV

That is why the Good News must always be JESUS CHRIST, the Author and finisher of our Faith. He is the LAW, the Obedience and Fulfillment of it.

May our lives tell His story, IN JESUS NAME.

Come back on Monday, as we proceed in digging into this inspiring Subtopic.

Brother Prince

Friday, April 05, 2024

08055125517; 08023904307

[capsensislagamoprh]

Otabek sat in the room he shared with Yuri, headphones on, tracks running over his laptop in multiple successions as he bent the beats to flow with each other. Lead ins, drops, overlays, tone shifts - so many changes needed to be done without ruining the integrity of the pieces. His focus was laser sharp, his world reduced to a single fourteen inch screen for hours at a time. He remembered to eat because Yuri brought him things. He remembered biological needs because his body wouldn't let him forget. Aside from running with Yuuri in the early morning (for him, end of the night for Yuuri) he gave himself thirty minutes for grooming, and two one hour breaks to keep his sanity. At precicely ten every night for the last week Yuri would walk in, take his laptop away, and plop down with a litany of complaints from people he'd gleefully told off for 'piss poor taste' and knowing 'fuck all' about track mixing. The exception was Leo, who he seemed to give some credit to after the older man had agreed with his take on the importance of shifting dissonance within the contemporary field. Or, as Yuri had originally said, "Your old people music is going to kill the fucking vibe. Do better."

Christophe promptly drafted Leo into the 'complaint department', which was fine with Yuri.  He wanted someone else to take the heat after he'd been particularly volatile about the Titanic theme song not being right for the wedding or the dance floor. Fortunately Leo had far more tact, pointing out themes and timing, suggesting other options that would fit the same orchestrated grandeur without bringing to mind the death of several hundred in an unforgiving, icy ocean. Yuri almost broke his phone as the entirety of three Celine Dion CDs was dropped into the chat.

At the appointed hour Yuri tugged the laptop away from Otabek, who took a moment to reorient, finally focusing when he saw a cup of tea steaming next to him on the floor. Otabek removed the headphones and set them aside as Yuri dropped between his legs, pressing his back to the brunette’s chest. "Look at this shit," he said without preamble. Holding his phone out where Otabek could see it too as he scrolled through the text chat.

It was pinging wildly, different time zones throwing different songs into the list. "Yuuri is starting to pull his hair again. Victor is thrilled by the attention," he said while puffing blond locks off his eyes. "I'm straight up telling people ‘No’ when they make stupid choices, and Leo makes smart arguments when someone gets really pissy about it."

"He's not so bad, hum?"

Yuri glared up at his friend. "I never said he was. It's JJ who's an ass."

"Hmm," Otabek took a sip of tea. "You never quite told me why you're so mad at him."

"You mean aside from making fun of me and my fans, calling me princess, and being a whole bag of dicks?"

" A whole bag? Really? Seems like a lot."

Yuri rolled his eyes. "It's not like he ever goes out of his way to be nice to me. He just waltzes in, has everything handed to him when he doesn't deserve it, and then just fucks off to the ass end of nowhere to live his perfect little life like he didn't just fuck up everyone else’s."

"He worked hard to learn his skills, Yura."

"Fine. He can skate, kinda," Yuri grumbled reluctantly, "but he's not better than you. You should have metalled."

"Still not over it?"

"Never!"

Otabek chuckled, his breath feathering the blond's hair. "I can't win everything, Yura."

"Obviously not. I'm going to win everything. You should win everything I am not competing in, and when we're competing against each other, you should come in second."

"Is that how it is?"

"Yes. That is how it is."

"So matter of fact."

"I know when I'm right." Yuri made a grabby hand motion in the direction of the cup, not taking his attention away from the messages. Otabek held the cup so Yuri could take a drink of the calming brew, the blur of scrolling suggestions faster than he could keep up with.

"Chris wants to know if you can squeeze out an after party mix. I told him I'd ask, but no promises. You're overworked as it is."

"Umm," Otabek agreed. "Maybe. Depends on how many more changes Yuuri and Victor make. They seem to adjust their song selection often. I did not know they were so indecisive."

"Nah. I think it's because Katsudon doesn't want to piss off anyone and baldy is distracted by shiny things."

"Thank you for dealing with the-" a dark hand waved in the general direction of the phone.

"No problem. I don't get a chance to really let loose on someone with sanction that often."

"You've had sanctions to tell someone they,” Otabek peered at the screen, "have the musical taste of a desiccated mastodon's ... pile?"

"Barely digested shit pile. Yes. It's good, yeah?"

"It paints a picture," Otabek admitted. "When did you get sanctions for language like that?"

Yuri stepsided the question with a very neatly placed, "Anyway." Otabek chuckled, thunking the blond head with his chin. The laptop made a pre-programed grinding nose signaling the current file had finished saving. "That is so disturbing."

"It lets me know what's going on."

"Sounds like it's trying to sand its own model numbers off."

"Maybe."

Yuri sat up, tossing his phone to the second futon mat, reaching for the laptop. "Movie time!"

Otabeck gathered up the pillows and spare blanket, propping himself against the wall. As Yuri slid back, pulling himself into his preferred lounging position, he looked through the options, the familiar sensation of Otabek tucking a blanket around them letting him relax. "Something scary?"

"If you like."

"Okay. How about Viy?"

"Think you can make it through this time?"

"Fuck you. I can make it through anything."

"Of course you can, Yura. Your will power is very strong and you are very brave."

"And don't you forget it!"

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

[thenewdeadseascrolls]

Judges 5: 19-23. "Fights and Arguments."

The Song of Deborah changes gears to a discussion of the next stage of Jewish Self-Unfoldment. As with all transcriptions from the Tanakh, nothing about the following stanzas can be taken for granted. This is the theme surounding the roles contained within the hierarchies within the Royal Jewish Household and Torah Topography. The king is the highest, like a mountain top in the sun, the rest are comparatively crawling in the ditch trying to climb up.

A King has surpassed Eden, Egypt, Sinai, the Zin, Jericho, all of it and has a firm sense of purpose and independence with regards to the rest of the world, which he has the right to deem "spiritually immature."

Even still, the King has a great deal of responsibility for the heathens and cannot withdraw from society. As Solomon learned, there are always issues and the king cannot err in their resolution. His famous decision to cut the baby in half is how all decisions the King of Israel must be made.

The stillborn child is never given value, the life of the youngest living thing always has the greatest. The least selfish of us are called to deal with its upbringing as this is how one avoids creating a little undead gayby tyrant whoreslut who thinks she is going to run things when she almost certainly is not.

All issues in Judaism arise because of jealousy just like the kind that caused those two horrible women to visit Solomon. Judaism states all jealousy is cured by enlightenment. This, the Shoftim states is a process.

Jealousy causes fights. Fights are of two kinds- one we start out of necessity, the other we are dragged into. The Rab says not to fight unless all 71 Classes of Character, the Beersheba, all the laws, commands and prohibitions are double checked.

This is what is meant by the Kings of Canaan, the "Kings of the Interstate." Once one has identified the proper approach to the argument, i.e. the nature and depth of the violation and the desired outcome which the Rab says must always be peace on earth, then one needs what is called Megiddo, "the invading instrument." This is called a conscience or a penis or a penis with a conscience which is ideal. Its purpose is to create a river bed, a train of thought through which the desired outcome, Shabbat will take place.

The Shoftim say this will happen because most of us are lazy and resist Sisera, meditation, and let ourselves get unruly and agitated over things we really should not bother with. The Shoftim says Sisera and ability to reason, found in the Fourth Day are needed if one is going to successfully avoid fights.

A third essential ingredient to the success of a king is called the Taanach, AKA the Tanakh, the total contents of the Jewish Spiritual Library. Without the Tanakh, the Invading Instrument will not be as sharp as it needs to be.

Tanakh means "perpetual water of God's Attributes."

Ta=[you are] man

Na=please

Kh=in the manner of the essence of

Also:

Tana= argument

Kh= how

Surely we all believe somewhere within the Library is something we can use to help us foster peace on earth during troubled times. If we do not follow this course, we risk the negative form of Meroz, to extract, and mine for more bitterness instead for a balm or salve for it:

19 “Kings came, they fought,     the kings of Canaan fought. At Taanach, by the waters of Megiddo,     they took no plunder of silver. 20 From the heavens the stars fought,     from their courses they fought against Sisera. 21 The river Kishon swept them away,     the age-old river, the river Kishon.     March on, my soul; be strong! 22 Then thundered the horses’ hooves—     galloping, galloping go his mighty steeds. 23 ‘Curse Meroz,’ said the angel of the Lord.     ‘Curse its people bitterly, because they did not come to help the Lord,     to help the Lord against the mighty.’

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 19: Kings came, they fought. They took no plunder of silver. Kings do not fight over silver. That is ridiculous, it is petty. The Value in Gematria is 6154, ואהד‎ ‎‎ ‎"and ehad." "Unity first."

v. 20: From the heavens the stars fought, from their courses they fought against Sisera. The Value in Gematria is 4266, ד‎בוו‎ ‎, dvv, dubbed, = "You have to do it yourself. All of us do." No one can force anyone to care about anyone else. This is self-taught as are the reasons why caring in the utmost is critical to the survival of every member of the human race and the plant, animal, and microscopic kingdoms that support us.

v. 21: The age old river of Kishon, of temptation swept them away. The Value in Gematria is 7438, ז‎דגח‎ ‎zadagh, "take securities." =do not delay gratification in order to transgress. As in verse 19, do not forsake the chance to become someone who is exceptional in order to fuck around with what is common, dirty, small, or cheap. This is called "buying on credit" and is heavily frowned upon by the Rab:

"Their conduct toward G‑d is akin to a merchant who sells on credit to a person whom he does not trust to pay. He therefore takes a security pledge at the time of the sale out of fear that the buyer can’t be trusted or that the buyer won’t be able to pay for the merchandise that he purchased."

The two women/one baby scenario that was brought before Solomon was decided on this basis. One of the women was careless and didn't want to wait nine more months for another child so she stole from someone else. Solomon knew one person's destiny cannot be stolen from another and judged her unfit to raise the living child.

v. 22: Then thundered the horses’ hooves—galloping, galloping go his mighty steeds. A gallop means life is easy. Good judgement and an easy life are appparently intertwined. Galloping thundering horses mean the securities invested in v. 21 paid off. If the horses are mounted and the riders have spears, that is not what that means.

The Value in Gematria is 3378, "cut off from the roof." Cutting off is

"To fight evil face-to-face is futile. But we can cut off its supply.

Between good and evil lies a neutral ground, a battlefield—the realm of all things permissible. All supplies to the enemy must pass through this realm. Because evil has no power of its own—it lives entirely off the scraps thrown to it from above.

By taking all that is permissible and using it only for good, honestly and uprightly, with purpose that transcends our own selves, the supply lines are broken.

When every activity of life becomes a way to know G‑d, evil simply withers away and dies."

v. 23: ‘Curse Meroz,’ said the angel of the Lord. ‘Curse its people bitterly'. The Value in Gematria is 6198, ו‎אטח‎‎, "And slowly, I will help you."

The Rab states we cannot be happy if we do not understand the bedrock of the Torah. Performance of the Torah should alleviate feelings of jealousy not lower us. A person who tries to serve God is worthy of honor. One who serves society is worthy of honor. One who is petty, jealous, and does not celebrate before the eyes of God is not worthy of honor.

A Jew who has achieved sovereignty or would like to will attempt to use his instruments to achieve Shabbos and Shabbot, happiness and peace during all of his encounters with this wicked, wicked, lost world. His greatest tests of will however will surely be within and that is why the Shoftim says his understanding of Tanakh, Sisera, and the Fourth Day need to be tried and true before he can attempt sovereignty over others and referee their fights.

[workoutgyaan]

Poodle Perfection: Why Poodles Are The Best

Whether you're strolling through a dog park or browsing the latest on canine trends, you can't help but notice the regal stature and sprightly steps of poodles capturing everyone’s attention - and for good reason. Poodles aren't just about their posh hairdos and prim prances; they embody a blend of winning attributes that might make them the best companions out there. In this article, we’ll delve into why this breed earns such accolades and discuss whether these traits make them unparalleled pets for dog lovers and enthusiasts. Intelligence: The Brainy Companion Poodles are renowned for their outstanding intelligence. Their ability to understand and respond to commands makes them one of the most trainable breeds in the canine kingdom. This acumen is not merely for performing tricks; it’s a testament to their ability to form deep, meaningful connections with their owners. With an intelligent poodle by your side, you're partnering with a problem-solving whiz that thrives on mental stimulation and learning new tasks. What does this mean for potential poodle owners? Starting training early is imperativestart training early, as their brilliance is best harnessed from a young age. Poodles are eager learners, and with the right guidance, they can master complex commands and excel in obedience trials. Their sharp wits also mean they're fantastic at puzzle games, which can provide endless entertainment for both you and your furry friend. Hypoallergenic: A Breath of Fresh Air For those who love dogs but hate the sniffles that come with them, poodles offer a breath of fresh air—quite literally. Their curly coats are infamous for being hypoallergenic, which means they tend to shed less and are less likely to trigger allergic reactions in sensitive individuals. This quality alone propels poodles to the top of the list for those who have longed for canine companionship without watery eyes and runny noses. Even though no dog breed is entirely hypoallergenic, poodles lean toward the lower end of the dander-shedding spectrum. By maintaining regular grooming, potential owners can keep their poodles’ hypoallergenic superpowers intact. This keeps their coat clean and minimizes any allergens that may cause discomfort in the home. Energetic: Fun-Loving Spirits Poodles have a zest for life that is infectious. These bundles of energy are always up for an adventure, whether it's a hike through the mountains or a game of fetch at the park. Their spirited nature makes them excellent companions for active owners who enjoy an on-the-go lifestyle. However, their energetic disposition comes with a necessity for proper outlets—both physical and mental. Poodles benefit immensely from daily exercise to channel their liveliness positively. This might include long walks, runs, or agility training, which keeps them physically fit and mentally sharp. Training Tips and Bonding Given their high IQ, poodles can sometimes have minds of their own. It’s crucial to employ consistent and positive reinforcement in training to ensure success. Use reward-based training methods to nurture and fortify desired behaviors, and always keep training sessions fun and engaging. Socialization is another component not to be overlooked. Exposing your poodle to different environments, people, and other pets ensures it grows well-mannered and confident. Lastly, remember that patience is a virtue when working with such an intelligent breed. A strong bond forged on understanding and mutual respect will solidify your place as the pack's leader in no time. But wait! While the traits outlined above might suggest that poodles are the quintessential pets, what about the other side of the coin? For a balanced view, use this anchor text to explore arguments as to why poodles are the worst. Yes, every breed has its downside, whether the need for high maintenance or a tendency towards specific health problems. It’s important for potential pet parents to weigh the good with the bad before making an informed choice.

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 25.7.23

Dream 1: I’m trying to find to my car from where I had parked it in a previous dream. In that dream (which I did not remember until now), I had it parked in the driveway of a random house but when I went back to get it, it was trapped into it's spot by two other parked cars. These cars presumably belonged to the people who lived in the house. I would not be able to get my car out at all. But this time when I go back to the house to check on whether my car is 'free' to move, I find a car has been parked directly on top of mine. It is night time, so I can barely see anything but I can see that half of the car is resting right on top of mine. It's a convertible sports car, dark in colour. It must belong to a girl who lives in the house. Whoever they are, they're well off. I have a feeling that they did this to get back at me for parking my car in the driveway in the first place.

I really need to set my car free so that I can drive it to work. I creep into the house. I don’t know why, but I do. I am trying to get to something that’s inside. Maybe the car keys of the convertible so I can somehow move it off my car. Then I realise the people inside are awake and I'm actually terrified of them. It's two women. I really don’t want them to catch me inside of their house. I figure they might kill me if they find me. While I am creeping around, I realise that the women inside are blocking the way out. In that, even if I find what I'm for, from where they are standing, I won't be able to escape unnoticed. I keep thinking about how I really need to leave, free my car and go to work. I assess the situation, trying to find another way out. I pull the curtain back on a window to see if I can leave through it, but the opening is too small. Even if I can get it to open without making a noise, my body won't fit through.

Then there is someone who suddenly appears beside me, its not the people who live inside this house. It’s a girl from outside. I don’t know why but I trust her and recognise her as a friend even though I don’t know that I've met her before. We seem to communicate telepathically. Is she really there? I don't know. She encourages me. Now I feel brave. She says, the way to the front door, the way that you came in, it's free now. Those two ladies are having an argument in the other room, distracted, and you can make a run for it. I'm going to do what she says. I’m scared but since it’s really dark and they wouldn't be able to recognise me anyway, I gain a bit of confidence and make a run for it. I’m successful, I leave. The girl, the friend, she appears again. Now she’s outside with me in the driveway but there is still the issue of the other car being on top of my car. I think the girl helps me lift the other car off my car. Or somehow I realise I am able to do it because due to her presence, I realise that I can.

While I’m freeing my car, I’m terrified that the people in the house will hear what I am doing and come out and catch me. I pick up my car with my bare hands (it’s not even heavy) and take it out of the confines of the property and out onto the street. I place it on the street to make it look like I had done a parallel park. I hope that this will be enough to protect my car from being noticed and prevent anything happening to it because I realise I don’t even have the car keys in order to start it in the first place.

I start running in the dark towards my workplace. But I'm not sure where that is. I have the vague idea of where it is but not the exact position. It’s sunrise now. Actually it’s 9:06 and I’m late since I start at 9. I think about texting my manager to let him know that I’m stuck in traffic but I'm too stressed to even take out my phone and do that. It feels like it’s a waste of time when I could be concentrating all my energy to finding the whereabouts of my workplace. I am still confused about where I am going. I’m in some strange part of town. Somehow I end up at home and now I'm in bed with my pyjamas on. And I am drifting off to sleep, extremely comfortable, but a part of me wants to get back out there. Go back to the house and get my car. I am thinking about getting up right then and there and go running in the street towards that house. With my pyjamas on. I won't even waste time changing because I need to get this done immediately. But then I start thinking about how vulnerable I would feel. What if someone were to attack me. I’d feel less secure than if I was in regular clothes. But I am still going to do it, I don’t care. I just need to make sure my car is okay and those two ladies in the house don’t vandalise or 'murder' it.

Dream 2: A while ago I planted an area in the backyard with kale, strawberry, corn and some other edible plants. After a short while when I returned to the patch, it had overgrown. Everything was ripe and ready for harvesting. The patch had randomly become muddy. There appeared to be some water drainage issues. My mum was there too. We both tasted some strawberries which were overly ripe but they still tasted great. There were strawberries everywhere. Our dog was taking huge bites of the corn which I was annoyed about. I was trying to move the corn away, but it kept managing to take more bites of it. Then the area was increasingly filling up with more water, to the point where it was now basically a pond. Everything was getting waterlogged and ruined. I needed to save it. I got a bunch of pots and I was going to transfer all the plants into them. Then the scene changes and now this patch is not in our backyard, but in the front yard which looks completely different to how it usually looks in real life. It looks more open and spacious. I don't skip a beat and I start to mash up the strawberries into the pots. These plants will basically have to regrow themselves from scratch. From the seeds on the fruits. I make sure the strawberry flesh is mixed into the soil evenly. I transfer what’s left of the kale into a pot. Mostly I am concentrating on the strawberries.

While I am working on trying to save my patch, I realise that the family dog is in the front pocket of my hoodie. It had been sleeping in there and as I peeked and checked up on it, it woke up. It started getting restless and wanted to get out from my hoodie so I let it out and then it started swimming in the pond. The pond is so thickly shrouded with strawberry runners that I am a bit fearful of the dog getting tangled in it and potentially drowning. I didn’t even know that the dog could swim in the first place. It seems to be managing fine though. I am looking around us now, at the change of place that just happened, and I see that a few meters away from our house there is a caravan with some Chinese writing on it. Was that ours? No, it belonged to the Chinese workers who were renovating the house next to us. There is this feeling that they are being exploited. Now the scene has changed again and the patch has moved inside and onto the floor of our bathroom. But all that's left of it now, is a bunch of dirt which I'm cleaning up from the tiles. It seems that in this setting, the plants had been growing from where the plaster wall meets the tiles on the ground in the corner. I was making it clean now. Spick and span. There was to be no trace of anything ever having grown here.

Dream 3: A car showed up and a small group of us were going to a bar to celebrate something. It was night. I was walking down the staircase into the bar. Of the group, I remember a girl the most. I think she was my friend. She looked liked Lea from the TV show TGD.

[robynthomsonnapierfilm]

Moth! - all day meeting 2 (8th February 2023/10.30AM-5PM)

Since our first all-day meeting was such a success, we decided to have another one to check back in with some of the bigger progressions of work we had each made since we last met.

I had finished the kit list to give to Kate so she could book everything out on SISO (which was due to possibly have some things added/removed depending on if Lilith wanted any more changes to my updated shot list and story boards/lighting plans).

I had made sure to do a lot of research into the lights I would be booking so I wouldn’t run into any issues with having lights that were either too strong or not strong enough for the environments I’d be shooting in. One of the scenes I would be filming involved a bonfire, and so I wanted to look into what lights available to me would have settings for faking firelight in case the practical bonfire we made didn’t provide enough natural firelight to light actors faces in the dark.

The rest of the lights I booked out included: 

Kino Flo Celebs (these give off a softer white light that doesn’t flicker or shift colour temperature when dimmed  I had planned to use these in the bedroom if the natural daylight from the window wasn’t bright enough since these lights were big and could be used to wrap a sift light around faces)

1k ARRI fressnel (I wanted to have a stronger light that I could use to shine through windows to emulate daylight if need be when light outside begins to fade if we were to run overtime in schedule  I never ended up using this light)

300W ARRI Fresnel (despite being small, it still has an impressive light output which may have come in handy for more compact locations if I needed strong light  also did not end up using this)

150W Dedolight kit (output light equal to much larger light sources with precision beam control that can light from quite a distance  I used these for lighting tests and they came in handy but did not end up using them on actual shoot days)

Rotolight NEO kit (The compactness of these lights made them perfect for scenes set in the bedroom location since they left enough room for actors to move within the space without the lights effecting blocking  The fact they were LEDS also meant they gave off a soft, even light and were ideal for seamlessly switching between a colder or warmer colour temperature when need be or matching daylight  These lights also have a firelight setting so I was able to have one of my ACs control it to fake a stronger firelight on our actor’s faces when it was needed during our final scene with the bonfire)

We had been given word that Andrew was starting up camera workshops across the upcoming Fridays, and so I spoke to the group about what I thought would be the best uses of our time during these classes. I decided first we should book the dolly to practice blocking and timing of camera movements for a scene involving an argument in the kitchen. I had originally wanted to film this handheld, but die to the extremely heavy weight of the camera and the extended time I’d have to hold it for, I decided to change it so this scene was filmed on the dolly and panning the camera between each actress to keep up with the beats of their argument instead. Therefore, this so what we would practice in the first Friday camera workshop. I also felt like I was out of practice with lighting set-ups and so decided this should be what I practice in the following class after doing more of my own research on how I wanted to light each scene and speaking with Andrew about how to execute these ideas best. (Detailed descriptions of these classes can be read in upcoming blog posts!)

At the end of this all-day meeting, I’d given myself the goal to have penultimate drafts of story boards and shot lists to show Lilith by the following week (penultimate so that she could give any last feedback before I locked in the final versions)