#wizardwheezez

[wizardswheezez]

- Romione -

Hermione: Ron and I are just friends.

Harry: Bullshit.

Ginny: Bullshit.

Ron: Bullshit!..

[wizardswheezez]

- Professor Snape -

Snape: Why are you so late to class, Mr.POTTER?

Harry: Does it matter? You still get paid, right?!

[wizardswheezez]

~The Marauders~

Sirius: I got detention..

Peter: Why? What did you do?

Sirius: The professor pointed a ruler at me and said there is an idiot at the end of this ruler..so I asked which end... :)

Remus: ....

James: THAT'S MY BOY!!

[wizardswheezez]

- One Direction -

Niall: Harry, what is the meaning of life?

Harry: Louis.

Niall: Is because you love him?

Harry: No, cause life is short.

Louis *walking through the door*: I Heard That!

Liam and Zayn: ...*high five*

[wizardswheezez]

- The Marauders -

Sirius: I prevented a murder today.

Remus: Really? That's Amazing! How did you do that?

Sirius: Self control.

[wizardswheezez]

- The Marauders -

Peter: Why are you looking at me through a fork?

Sirius: I'm pretending that you're in jail.

Peter: why?

Sirius: It's spiritually healing.

[wizardswheezez]

- Sirius Black -

When I drink alcohol, everyone calls me alcoholic.

but when I drink Fanta nobody calls me Fantastic.

:'(

[wizardswheezez]

- Sirius Black driving in Muggle World -

*gets pulled over for speeding*

Policeman: Papers?

Sirius: Scissors. I win.

*drives away*

[wizardswheezez]

~The Marauders~

Sirius: I need a word that's a mix of angry and sad.

Remus: well, there's malcontent, disgruntled,miserable, desolated

Sirius: Smad!

[wizardswheezez]

- The Marauders -

Peter: Sirius, I have a problem.

Sirius: Does it affect me?

Peter: no..

Sirius: Then suffer in silence.

[wizardswheezez]

- The Marauders -

Sirius: Can you stop?

Peter: Stop what?

Sirius: Stop whatever you're doing right now. It's getting on my nerves.

Peter: ...I'm just breathing.

[wizardswheezez]

~The Marauders ~

Peter: You should always use 'please' and 'thank you', Padfoot.

Sirius: Please shut the hell up, thank you.

Peter: ...I'll mark that down as progress.

[wizardswheezez]

~The Marauders ~

James: What's for lunch?

Sirius: food, generally.

James: no, i mean what are you having?

Sirius: an unwanted conversation.

[wizardswheezez]

~Young Marauders~

James: It's times like this when i wish i'd listened to what Remus told me.

Sirius: why, what did he tell you?

James: i don't know, i didn't listen.

[wizardswheezez]

- James & Lily -

Lily: I'm trying to test out my new signature, can you tell me if it's good?

James: sure, use this to practice.

*gives Lily a sheet of paper*

Lily: cool, thank y-

*looks closer at the paper*

Lily: This is a marriage certificate.

James: I know.

[wizardswheezez]

- The Marauders -

Remus: Water can solve all problems!

Remus: Want to loose weight? Drink water!

Remus: Clear skin? Water!

Sirius: Tired of someone? Drawn them!

Remus: Sirius, No!