#wondering how those folks are doing now. cuz I'm living.

[princescribbler]

LEARNING TO LIVE THAT LITTLE LIFE: A QUICK AND EASY GUIDE

If you're like me, and you've recently moved in with the love of your life, caregiver, switch partner, etc. (I'm definitely referencing the amazing @giggle-byte ) then you might need a few tips about what your new adorable LITTLE lifestyle is gonna entail!

Well, of course, littles often need help knowing how to do things and what to do.... so here's a quick and easy guide for li'l you!

You might as well give up those adult undies, cuz if you're with a momma like mine, you're gonna need to stay padded ALL THE TIME from now on!!! (I'm lucky that my wonderful little lady, my wondrous and adorable and AWESOME momma has helped me out with this by having me padded 24/7 for a few years now to get used to it!)

You need to learn that babies struggle with emotions, so you're gonna need to get used to being occasionally pouty, whiny, or otherwise a demanding baby... and having your CG love it and giggle. See? I mean when I get grumpy or worried, she doesn't react at all like I expect... instead she cuddles and snuggles and teases me back into being happy and giggly!!! That's right, if you feel pouty or upset, your CG probably will just accept it and give you a pat, a cuddle, or put you down for a nap!

When you start worrying that your ageplay, ABDL, or CG/l dynamic isn't traditional, you'll be distracted by the fun before you can worry. For example when I got fussy about how I was gonna get married with a diapee and possibly even chastity cage under my wedding outfit, momma COMPLETELY distracted me by whispering cutesy stuff in my ears at the clothing store and patting my padded bum, until I totally forgot what I was gonna worry about. Momma apparently realized that you can just distract upset babies and they forget why they were upset or worried!

You need to give up on the idea that you're gonna "be big" again. Now that I'm loving and living with momma full time...I'm pretty sure there's no going back..I don't get to be "big" again unless momma allows it, and most of the time she'll make sure to remind me it's only temporary or to avoid scaring the vanilla folks!

Stuffies are everywhere. In the office, the bedrooms, the living room, everywhere I go, both of us have LOTS AND LOTS of our stuffies!!!

Snuggles ARE required! See, if you forget for a bit that you're a little, you're likely to receive a lot of cuddles, snuggles, and coziness to remind you. Every day since I've arrived has had lots and lots of cuddles, and the more I get the more I seem to want! They MIGHT be addictive....

You'll never want to go back! Truly, this is the most obvious fact of them all, but when you're living as a little, with your caregiver, you'll love it way too much to want to go back to the old way of life. I know, I know, I still have a job and I still have vanilla friends and I can't literally be tiny and adorable 24/7... but I also know i couldn't go back to that lifestyle full time, either. Once you've gonna into this little life, everything seems like poopy! It's just way too fun!

So if you're lucky enough to find a mommy or daddy or Caregiver partner, and love and live together... be warned! You'll end up trapped in a lovely, wonderful, cozy forever living as a little full time!

I hope you get to enjoy it as much as I do!

And as always, stay happy, healthy, and kinky!

- Scribbler

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep1 Musings - Looking for Home: Louis, Claudia & Daciana

They flip between siblings and parent so much even I was getting whiplash--no wonder Lou's confused. U_U

This was EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIL, AMC! 😭 Louis carrying Grace's wedding portrait, and using it to FAKE his identity in Europe, after Grace couldn't even go to Europe for her own honeymoon cuz Paul died--STOP IT! 😭😭

And you can hear just a few quick seconds of the DPDL lietmotif that always plays for Grace, Paul, and sibling!Claudia, before it takes this SUPER dark and ominous tone--the song has been tainted, just like Lou's relationship with Grace and Claudia was tainted.

Go AWF, Claudia!

And then she finds ONE, and it was so heartbreakingly touching.

I was hoping she was Alessandra, but nope, she's an AMC!OC, Daciana. I'm assuming they were nodding to one rando revenant:

And she is obviously the same "Anna" the kids were singing about--(very Gaunter O'Dimm of them, I love it 💀)--living like frikkin Baba Yaga in a grimy castle in the woods.

Daciana killed her own fledgling after Claudia blinded him--after the revanant AND Daciana attacked them first, but whatever. Cuz she said he wouldn't be able to hunt/feed with no eyes--so it can't heal; her fledglings are too effed up. She's officially the last one in the area.

And I get it now--the bear(?) head Claudia breaks off of the dead vampire's sarcophagus was a heraldric figurehead. Claudia showed it to Daciana, as a way of asking her who that dead vamp was.

She didn't want to tell them her story or hear theirs--but she wanted them to know about Cezare Romulo (RIP). (It's crazy how in 5 minutes The Vampire Daciana was way more effective than a whole hour of Dierdre Mayfair. 🙄😒) She complimented Claudia's blood, saying it tasted like the cream of the crop. Daciana only told them her name, and that she was waiting for her children--fledglings or real ones, who knows (I bet both).

Only for Daciana to kill herself right in front of them (RIP). 😔🔥

This is so sad, but it was obvious she was gonna do that.

Stop teasing the Children of Darkness after this Alessandra fake-out. She's got the same darkness in her that Nicki (AND Louis) had. And we know where that means. 🔥💀🔥

These vampires are STARVING--hungry for family, love, home: LIFE.

So is Claudia! 😭😭😭 She wants a blood spouse! She wants a companion!

So I LOVE that Morgan clocked Louis on Grace's photo--that ain't yo wife! The gaydar was beeping the second your pretty arse walked in!

Like, it's been established that Louis is a terrible liar-you don't need an investigative journalist to figure that much out. Louis is TOO honest--he was dumb AF for telling Morgan his real name! I get why he did it in the book--again: desperate to make a connection.

But on the show it comes across way different--Louis almost immediately tells Morgan his name (he doesn't do that for Emilia, even though SHE called him pretty! Istg I was picking up some flirtatiousness with Lou & Morgan; put those pheromones AWAY 😂). But you come across MIGHTY SUS if your Black arse is going around switching identities on all these twitchy Europeans, Louis!

Like baaaaaasicallllllyyyyyyy!!! 🤦 You see them shooting up corpses just to make sure--you think they won't shoot YOU!?!

Anyways, it's so cool that they made Morgan a photographer--so is THIS why Louis starts taking photos!? 🤩📸

Cuz I've been wondering how Louis makes money in Paris so they don't have to pickpocket anymore?

I love that they included this.

No matter where they go, they have to pose as Black servants and maids and VALETS and SLAVES, white folk are the same regardless of the country.

Which was an interesting parallel with Daciana, and how much they were hyping up America.

She was clearly nuts, but smart & sane enough to realize that 2 (two!) Black vampires had fled their oh-so-great "land of the free" to come to HER busted AF blown up war-torn country, so why should she expect to have any happiness over there?

I don't know a lick of Romanian, but I wonder if the "another one" she was referring to was the soldier, or the country. As Daciana realized that no matter who she made her new fledgling, and no matter which country she ran to, she'd be alone & unhappy without the people she loved--her HOME.

Home is where the HEART is! Claudia's been homeless this whole time! Daciana's got that huge castle, but lives all alone--she can't make proper fledglings. Meanwhile Louis still thinks NOLA is home, even after they killed everyone who knew them--"including" Lestat!

*sigh* I hate this effing show, it's so dang good. 😭

[da-shrimping-station]

Obey Me MC

So this is my MC Aren

They're fiercely independent, having to raise themself in a not so child-friendly environment. They're the type to try and find a solution on their own before even thinking about asking for help. Can be blunt as all hell, sometimes blurting things out before thinking. A decent cook out of necessity.

Takes things in stride and processes it later when it's calm enough to think and look back on the events that happened. Honestly they just shut their brain off and force themself to be logical but once the emotions take over, they have a hard time calming down.

Back in high school, they were somewhat of a delinquent. More like a lone wolf type than anything. They've had their fair share of climbing the perimeter wall to skip class and getting involved in fistfights. They keep to themself but the other students think they're an easy target because of that. They are not. This caused them to be an occasional target for thugs who'd like to "put them in their place". They developed a habit of carrying a pocket knife because of this.

They aren't fazed about magic. The place they grew up in had a prominent culture about folk healing and witches and superstition. They lived with a witch for quite some time after running away from home (they loved her very much and was devastated when she passed).

They have a healthy amount of curiosity, often asking questions to satisfy it. This results in them reading a lot but only for topics they have interest in. Mainly magic. Which is how they and Solomon get along well. Aren loves to ask questions and Solomon is happy to oblige (and flex his knowledge and experience). They were over the moon when Solomon took them in as an apprentice. Satan also enjoys their company and both can be seen reading together in the library.

Could not, for the life of them, get how the brothers manage to survive this long given how chaotic they are. Heck, they wonder how the house is still standing. Seeing the monthly finance reports make them blanch. But they've grown fond of the brothers (yes, even Lucifer). Belphegor, however, is on the top of their shit list and would take A LOT of time for them to tolerate each other without jumping at each other's throats.

Some rapid fire facts about them

is nonbinary

22 years old and 5ft (poor tiny thing, feel free to take their knees out)

vindictive as hell

likes giving headpats cuz they suck at words (especially when they need to comfort someone) and is quite physical with their affection

is more proficient in sigil magic than speechcraft (magic squiggles go brr)

loves to fly (practiced flying nearly everyday, with supervision of course)

exercises regularly, either with Beel, Mammon, or Asmo (or the 4 of them work out together)

enjoys swimming and likes to be in the ocean but needs supervision

has pacts with demons aside from the brothers (hopefully i can finish writing the fic soon oof)

I suppose that's all for now! Please feel free to ask about them (my inbox(?) is open)! Or do some of those ask games or smth.

Once I'm done drawing my demon OCs (who they have pacts with, and some of whom interact with the brothers and Diavolo on a regular basis (tho it's more work-related)) I'll post about them next.

[autumnslance]

Hey Aeryn, I was wondering what you recommend to get past FOMO and overthinking. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I can't shake it. I want to play all of the story but I start to feel anxious. I start overthinking and second-guessing and the cycle starts again. I have a WOL I'm enjoying writing but I can't get her to translate in-game. Any advice?

I admit, I don't often get FOMO, but when I do, I stop and ask myself: is this something I actually want to do? A place I actually want to go? An experience I need? An item I want? Or am I just reacting to others, especially friends, having fun and talking about a thing together, so it's pinging a social desire/need?

Cuz I can interact and talk with my friends in other ways and places. I don't have to do all the things they do, play the games they play, etc. I use in built filters and blacklists on my social media to not see things about games/shows/etc that I don't want hear about, and I stop following a lot of (usually sideblogs) accounts that deal with those topics. When I left WoW behind, I dropped a lot of those blogs, for instance.

(I think some people would be happier if they put down media they don't actually enjoy but only watch/play because the people in their lives do.)

What about playing the game is making you anxious? Is it doing the content? Most can be done solo now, but friends can help with the stuff that can't be, or there's always duty finder. Is it story and character direction? Afraid things will happen to your faves, or they'll grown and change in ways you don't care for? That's a risk in any ongoing media, and up to an individual where their "I'm done" point is where they don't enjoy that lore and canon anymore, and then make the decision to change it in fanfiction or drop the story altogether.

With everyone talking about new content right now, even trying to keep spoilers under wraps, it can be rough for sure. Everyone has opinions! And screenshots! And there's new fanfic!

Is the anxiety because of the WoL you started writing, and how she doesn't "translate" in game, and afraid the lore will continue to make that harder?

In that case, look at what the character is, what you've written...and what the character (your subconscious, really) is telling you they actually are, or need. If they don't fit the canon lore...It's OK. Change the story to fit as needed. Or....play through it and see what ends up working after all, with the benefit of knowledge.

You can't lock a character in stone; a story happens because characters want something (large or small), and in the course of the story they are changed in some way (large or small). WoL is an anime protagonist with plotstrong abilities and gifts that give players a lot of leeway in any direction. Some people don't play WoLs at all. Their OC is a person they roleplay and write about in the setting, the plot happens to someone else, and they just play the video game with that avatar.

So what isn't "translating"? Is it appearance related that can't be done without mods and artwork? Disabilities that likewise are tricky to show in game (which assumes a mostly able-bodied WoL)? A backstory that seems to not fit (the world's bigger than what we see)? A lot of detailed backstory and supporting cast that now make you feel boxed into a corner?

It can be hard, seeing people with deeply developed stories and characters and supporting cast, but you also have to remember: a lot of that is built over time. Aeryn didn't have nearly the detailed list of relatives to start, didn't have the "dad was a secret heretic" backstory until 4 years into playing her. I still haven't named all of Dark's siblings. I've seen some folks entirely rewrite their characters cuz something in an expansion spoke to them and it made more sense and made them happier than what they did before.

When I start overthinking a character story, I put the backstory away, and just play them for a bit. I keep a vague idea of what I think their personality might be, what reactions would seem right. And then I let "them" guide me as I play. And sometimes what a character tells me ends up far more interesting. Or I find the stuff I was anxious about adding to them...ends up being canon, or at least working out, anyway.

And if the concern is what other people will think about one's WoL....well, you can't control what others think. And trying to please everyone leaves you with a milquetoast bland sop who isn't interesting at all. Care about the character you want to write, even if that changes, and make them as interesting as you want.

I was saying in a convo yesterday that the shrieking about "Mary Sue and how to not be one" caused lasting societal trauma and people are still afraid of giving characters interesting traits and stories. A person was anxious about giving their WoL traits that might make them 'too much' or 'too special' but they're traits WoL canonically has. We're in an anime story as anime protagonists, be wild and weird. Not everyone will like it, and that's good, actually. Cuz others will love it, and it means you gave your writing and characters personality.

Final Fantasy XIV is a game that 90% of the time, the content isn't going anywhere. You go at your pace, you enjoy the story and side content. There's a lot, after 11 years. Do what you gotta to avoid spoilers, gushing, complaining, or otherwise talk about content you're not in yet to reduce the worry everyone else is having fun while you're spinning wheels a few expacs back. Figure out what you enjoy and love about the game, and focus on that for awhile. Let your WoL breathe, and just play without plotting out how they translate or fit, and remember stories aren't set in stone; they have to be malleable. Especially when trying to write/roleplay in someone else's world!

You should be in this for yourself. Because you find it fun, relaxing, enjoyable to experience. Because you want to tell a character's story even if it takes a hard left turn from canon lore. And if you have to mute and filter out and block some things and people on social media or chat or whatever, do what works for you. But when overthinking, turn that around and interrogate yourself: "OK, why do I feel this way? Why would this be bad? Do I want this or am I trying to follow the crowd?" Make lists, pros and cons. Figure out if it's actually FOMO and anxiety...or if you're trying to tell yourself something and you're just not listening.

Give yourself grace. This game is just one piece of our life's tapestry, and while there's probably friends who want to see you clear content, the world won't end if you don't catch up to the current patch right away, or write a 200k fic about your WoL's life by year's end, either. Go at your pace.

[rosemariad]

Supernatural Season 12

only 3 more seasons after this...aw...

so mom's back grk mm the dead...okay...Mary's returned from '83 - boy is she in for a shock. her baby boy Dean is a grown man pushing 40 😱

wild how Dean recounted his parents' love story from their first meeting to their elopement! how did Dean get John to spill the beans on that I wonder...

Sam was taken by the bitch ass Men of Letters, and here lies the beginning of the misfortune that is the MoL arc, ugh! I'm going to like this as Much as I did Metatron 🙄

Sam's a fucking trooper, I know he was tortured by the devil personally but still, taking a blow torch to the foot...damn

Mary is naturally feeling out of place and Dean's just dancing around that like it's a problem to be solved on its own...oh Dean.

Castiel reunites with Dean after Mary points a gun at the handsome angelic stranger in the bunker 😆

Dean's tender smile when Cas grabbed him🥺 the way Mary cocked her head when they hugged 🤣

Mary was down to hunt - interesting considering how hard she supposedly tried to avoid it. now the show insinuates she wasn't wholly retired????

Sam & Mary hug when he returns to the bunker - is this technically their first real hug????? the last time would've been when Sam was a literal baby 🥺

But after 3 episodes, Mary just bails? really? the showrunners are giving her the Cas treatment - where she appears every so often. Why is she back then if she's not gonna stay with her sons? they're literally all she had left in the world. everyone else she would've known is long gone. they could've just brought back John (which I now they do in season 14 for 1 episode) to get John's reaction on how his sons have changed since 2006 when he died. they could've discussed Adam - that would've been fun 🤣🤣🤣

if they're gonna keep Mary around, the one whose death started the Brothers on their journey, keep her around! have the boys & their mom struggle to reconnect, get to know one another - let Mary see her sons as they are for better or worse and let them talk about it! let them talk about her and John and their parents' marriage, the good the bad and the family of if all. let them talk out their issues or try to Even if they fail! just cuz they talk doesn't mean they're able to solve and heal their trauma in 1 sitting. that shit takes time. it could take months, years. wasted opportunity.

back to Mary hunting, back in 1980 she saved a boy who grew up to be a hunter on his own, living his best life, being more Dean than Dean Winchester 🤣 until he was killed by his fellow hunter friend by accident (wow).

how dare Asa's mom bitch at Mary for Asa's grown ass man decisions? Please. nobody put a gun to his head! he made his choice and kept at it.

Dean got snippy at his mom cuz she left his ass - Dean she's been dead for 30+ years. her resurrection was your wildest dream/hope, Amara knew that, that's why she brought her back and the 1st thing she do that you don't like and you bitch at her?! ask her to stay then! beg her to stay, say anything and everything you need to so she sticks around! tell her about your drinking, about bow you're almost 40 with no kids or a domestic partner! about how little you Sleep and all the things that haunt you! Give her a reason to be needed!

when Mary says I am your mother, but I am not just your mom - that's 💯 percent facts right there, sorry folks! people are more than just 1 thing, but on the other hand, your sons need you, Mary! ironically, if she remained at her sons side, she wouldn't have suffered the way she does later this season 🤕

it's sad how east the MoL got to her, wearing her down. she's haunted and fucked up from being dead so long. this is why dialogue is important! she seemed to be opening up to Castiel since hers an angel instead of her sons - so be it, talk to the angel man, bare your soul, anything other than making shady deals and getting into bed with those British motherfuckers (see what I did there 🤣😅)

Gavin (imma call him Crowley jr.) got iced, sucks for Crowley I guess. good for Gavin though, stepping up to do the right thing for his girl, bittersweet.

I love that Cas & Dean are in regular contact with each other! too bad we don't get more scenes of their conversations!!! cmon showrunners - don't fear the emotional man on man scenes between men who aren't family, embrace the potential gayness!!! explore it!!!!

Cas & Mandy the waitress - interesting - too bad he's only interested in Dean, at least not anymore - that may be April the reaper's fault!

"devastatingly handsome" - you not low Dean!!! this is how you choose to address your angel bestie?!?! okay 🤣

later after Cas narrowly avoids death (again, thanks Crowley!) the look of relief on Dean's face

and awwww Cas said I love you! to Dean's whole family, how romantic 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you not low Castiel!!!!

sadly now Dean truly believes that Castiel only loves him as a friend. This is why you don't call Castiel your brother Dean 🤦‍♀️😅🤣

The Alpha vamp died - so much for next season. considering his supposed age and power, shouldn't be impossibly fast? and Ramiel. you're telling me that he struggled fighting a couple of normal people when he pwned Crowley so easily when Crowley himself is a centuries old demon, aka king of hell, after beating Castiel an ancient celestial being?!?!??! but the very mortal Winchesters took him down...yeah sure okay 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

HOLD UP! HOLD THE PHONE! HOLD THE UNIVERSE, TIME AND SPACE, HOLD EVERYTHING!

Dean Winchester gave Castiel a mixtape

Dean GAVE CASTIEL A MIXTAPE!!!!

a mixtape? 😱😱😱 really?!?!?! that's one of THE romantic gestures to make in the 80s and 90s (before CDs came out) to declare your feelings for someone you wanted to be with, as more than a friend. that's not to say friends and family didn't but it was fairly recognized as a something to do for romance too! also it's a labor of love since you'd have to use the radio or get more cassettes to record & compile the music you wanted AND people like to record a personal message before the music starts in the tape they male. you can see it certain TV/movies like the Goldbergs as an example - Adam made such a thing for his school crush when he wanted to declare his feelings for her.

And it's not just that Dean made a mixtape for Cas - he specifically chose Led Zeppelin songs- the love language of his parents, the very union that led to Dean being born in the first place. And the little xx's - hmm wonder what those mean...

and we just gloss over that?!?!? the showrunners - y'all are NOT slick! ya can't stop the Destiel bandwagon cuz after all this times in the year of our Lord 2023 peeps keep shipping it precisely for moments like these.

while we're on 12x19 - when Cas FINALLY returns to the bunker, Dean gives him hell like only a bitchy girlfriend can while Sam was like OMG glad you're back but Dean was PISSED cuz how DARE Cas not just show up & return his phone calls (what about prayers? 👀) Dean kept saying "we" but let's be honest he's talking about himself - u not slick Dean. And this is AFTER Cas tried returning the mixtape cuz he feels he is no longer worthy of Dean's gift given how much he pissed Dean off 🥺

When Sam suggests siphoning out the grace from the nephilim due to be born Dean runs to his precious angel only to discover Cas is gone (again!) just as soon as he appeared.

The betrayal. the deceit, the DRAMA!!! Dean, you didn't put the Colt in the safe?! Rookie mistake, bro.

He kept talking about Castiels feathered ass but then didn't actually fight him, just slams him against the wall, standing very close & maintaining intense eye contact - classic Supernatural 😉 🤣 😀

I wonder what Kelly saw that makes her believe that her child is good because suicide isn't an easy choice but Kelly went through with her attempt out of fear of what her child was capable of given how many times everyone kept saying such things to her face. But it didn't matter cuz her child brought Kelly back from the dead anyway. That's terrifying TBH.

When Cas booked the brothers 🤣🤣🤣 did they really not see that coming? cmon Dean, he did that to Bobby when you first met.

***during Lucifer's mini arc this season I'm reminded of Misha's commentary on the acting advice he got from main devil actor Mark Pelligrino on portraying the infamous figure - he either wanted to kill/fuck the one he's talking to - it definitely seemed that way this season during Mark's scenes. ironic considering his previous work on Lost - anyone remember that show?

Thankfully the MoL are FINALLY dealt with after a rousing speech from Sam fucking Winchester who leads the charge to take those British tarts down, complete with exploding their makeshift headquarters! Dean meanwhile stayed behind to help his mom who's been completely brainwashed by the MoL - which is indicative of Dean's characters as a callback to season 1 - he just wanted his family together!

What Dean told his mom in her head is what he should've said from the very beginning- sure it would've hurt her feelings, possibly cause a mild heart attack but it needed to be said so Dean & Mary could heal as a family!

Thank God Ketch is as dead as the rest of the MoL he was such a creep!

Rowena got killed offscreen? Damn, that's cold. I know she's coming back though 😊

Kelly died 🥲

Crowley died - he was THAT determined to take the devil down. in the long run its not gonna work since Luci will be back eventually but there's something to be said about Crowley's arc considering this is the last we see of the cheeky little devil. I recall prior seasons where he seemed downtrodden in certain scenes, about the futility of his plays for power, his schemes going tits up often because of someone else. I think Mark Shepard said something about taking his character as far as he could or something like that.

Castiel died (again)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Mary disappeared into that AU with the devil and he is Piiiiiiiiiiiissssed 😱

Given what Kelly gave birth to, all those diapers Cas got were a waste of money...

season highlights

not many TBH I didn't like this season much cuz of the wasted potential with Mary and the brothers and the lack of Castiel. and Crowley for that matter. the season had a good start and it finished in a way that was interesting BUT

12x10 - Dean and Castiel fighting was HILARIOUS. They seriously should've gotten a spinoff even if they only ever remained as innocent platonic friends. it would've been so funny.

and awww...Dean is Castiel's human weaknesss - YEAH NO SHIT HONEY!!!!!

Dean is apparently a natural at riding - mechanical bulls included - did he ride it to completion??? lemme stop 🤣 I mean for the duration of the bull ride for however long - he never fell off? if so, kudos to him and his hips 🤣🤣

[gnsuji]

hello hello! i'm molly (she/her) and i'm bringing goth gfs back to the cultural zeitgeist with my sweet girl nam suji, based on the blush skeleton! intro and wanted connections below the readmore, click for pinterest (wip) and profile & press like if you want me to slide in your dms for plots 💌

BACKGROUND

gaenari native, born and raised. her family life will be expanded upon sometime in the future, but her parents are widely recognized as good folks, community pillar types, protestant christians (her uncle's a pastor somewhere, used to live in gaenari but uhh the lord guided him to somewhere with faster internet connections and fewer mines ) + her mother works at city hall in my own hc, her dad does... something else. just the most normal dude job you can think of, probably

suji was never a top tier student, not the most popular kid on the playground, etcetera, never quite remarkable but always above average. she could hang with those on top of the social ladder or slum it with the band kids, and academically she was remarkably consistent in all grades. a pleasure to have in class, if you will

played violin since she was a child, mostly because her parents are intent on their kids doing something during their formative, and she happened to be ace with the bow and strings. not a creative type though, at least not concerning music.

within these parameters, her teenage years went by mostly without incident. she got an art scholarship to a university out of town, and simply followed the path laid out in front of her without much thought

turns out the path most traveled was not the one for her. suji struggled to adapt to life in the city, reinventing herself as a young adult, and to reconcile with music as a profession rather than as a hobby and emotional outlet. it's one thing to be a prodigy in your hometown, and something else entirely to be at the bottom tier of special admissions

enter the goth (poser) phase, blunt cut bangs, staying up late wondering if her life is just irrevocably fucked up now, and the threat of academic probation. suji would find herself wishing for some sort of resolution to this building tension, to somehow have the responsibility for her future taken out of her hands again

"careful what you wish for cuz you just might get it" – "when i grow up", dolls domination (2008), the pussycat dolls

the way she explained it to her parents, her hand got hit by a car door slamming shut. who were you in the car with? it doesn't matter. why did you put your hand out then? it doesn't matter. suji returned home with her wrist in a brace and her tail between her legs, another one in a long line of small town folk who tried to measure their worth in the big city and were found wanting.

soft tissues and nerves heal in their own time, and the academic year marches on relentlessly without her. she would like to think that they miss her back at school, that her presence made some sort of impression, but that's all up in the air. for now, her time is split between working at the nano boutique downtown and mulling about at home like a spinster out of an austen novel

because she does feel some type of way about being back home. about the way people act like they know her because they knew each other five years ago, because they had crushes on each other's older brothers back in grade school, because they used to do homework together or spend their summers at the cinema or the mall. suji feels different though. she looks different, all grown up and jagged, and darker, somehow. the past coils inside her like a metal spring

some things are the same, no matter how much she tries to will them away. a perpetually embarrassed smile, flushed cheeks, familiar faces greeting her with undue confusion or pleasant surprise written all over their features. is that really nam suji? my my, she's really grown up.

PERSONALITY NOTES

rather desperate for acknowledgement/affection/recognition etc but far too concerned with her own mystery to actually ask for it. desperately wants you to compliment her bangs :(

private and protective of her thoughts but not particularly shy. she's always been sociable to a fault, a friend to all is a friend to none etc

was never much of a showman with the violin, more into the meditative and repetitive aspect of honing her craft. in light of recent events, she rarely plays in front of others anymore. maybe it's something she'll pick up in the future, maybe not

aside from music, her interests are rather mundane. media literate, adequately sporty, depending on the phase of the moon (jury's still out on that one) she can either drink you under the table or black out after two shots. voted best girl at the company work dinner (there is only one other employee)

CONNECTIONS

gaenari public school alumni! menacing upperclassmen, homeroom sweethearts, homework fraud collaborators, secret admirers – whatever your heart desires!! suji was chronically overstimulated for like 3 years straight but high school was still probably her most fun years.

for the fashionably challenged, the vintage band shirt connoisseur, or the select few with a developed taste to enjoy suji's eclectic playlists, stop by nova boutique during her shift and prepared to have your world rocked 😎

downtown hustlers aka anyone who has a job downtown and who might appreciate some company for lunch ooooor the occasional after work happy hour cocktail to vent about life..

childhood/family friends! suji was a big time pokémon kid so do with that information what you will....

summer fling from right before she left for university! probably someone from school, but in any case someone local. maybe they both had big plans for the future, maybe her leaving cut them deep, or maybe they were both happily thinking they could avoid each other now that she's back in town and... well! things never go according to plan, do they?

while i'm a sucker for awkward and emotionally charged reunions, suji is in desperate need of some new acquaintances. free of baggage and expectations, just seeing her for the cringefail young woman that she is <3

[fricc-darn]

This post is just gonna be me spitballing and yapping fr😭 If any of you guys catch my drift pls lemme know :"D

This isn't supposed to be a doomer post (cuz I don't like doomerism) BUT it may come off that way sooo yeah-

Looking back to when I was like a young kid, I was always so fascinated with the internet and fandom spaces especially! I do think the early 2000s and like early to mid 2010s of the net and online spaces where so whimsical. Esp as a kid from my background and what not. I thought it was cool to see people be authentic and sort of free in a way online? Obviously not to a crazy extent but much more than irl and stuff.

And I would read fandom posts and enjoy all the yummy content. At the time I couldn't really read very well (cuz like yk kids really can't read-) but I KNEW I wanted to be in fandom actively SAUUURRR BAD!! I looked forward to it. Despite the horrors of it all! Despite my ass lacking some social skills online as well (telling tone and vibes is kinda hard over text).

Now I got what I want (hurray :3!). Though sometimes I can't help but wonder if I belived in a fantasy. It feels diffrent than I expected? I wonder if it's because I'm not very active or talkative? Sometimes it still feels a bit lonesome? (IF ANYONE GETS THIS FEELING AS WELL P L E A SE TELL ME😭)

Then I really start to wonder. I'm soon reminded that no I didn't make up a fantasy of what being online would be. This is how it was to some degree! Yes, there menaces still existed, along with bigots (Racism and shit was DEF more...obvious? I don't like saying that either because it still is so easy to find). But when it came to just being chill and talking it was different. I just can't explain it. I feel like now people are a bit more antsy and upset :(. People argue about shit that genuinely doesn't matter. Or they ignore real problems in fandom (racism and bigotry again). Or the refusal to understand others and their exprinces, and genuinely try to relax.

And of course this ties into a greater social issues because none of these things exsist in a vacuum. A lot of negativity, moral superiority, hatred, and hypocrisy is a relection of how things have changed. It's a result of people being calcified by the systems at play. Everyone is struggling and things are actively deteriorating (not to be an alarmist). But look at how everything is fucking monetized or a commodity! Look at all the apps and sites everything is becoming centralized man. What about the people?

Kids don't have 3rd spaces, the myth of the digital native is RAMPANT, they're not being taught useful internet skills, they're not being taught basic literary skills. They don't even know where to get resources to start learning. This doesn't even include it all! So, where do they have to go? Now many of them are in spaces where they shouldn't be and talking about stuff they shouldn't be worried about at all. Stuff that most people shouldn't care about.

Same with older folk some people don't have those skills either. This plus adult responsibilities and ughh. No wonder why people act so nasty online sometimes. It's a sense of trying to have a little control in this life. A sense of venting. Or even an attempt at trying to build a better world (admirable yes but the way some people go about this is so backwards and not helpful).

This capitalist hellscape is ruining every single aspect of our lives. And I know what I'm saying isn't new. Everyone knows this. Everyone sees this. But it makes me wonder do people really care about eachother online? Do people really care about eachother at all? I know the answer is yes and I've seen some amazing things. Though sometimes it doesn't feel real?

How do people claim to care about disabled people and be all left leaning and not wear a mask or take proper covid precautions? Or constantly leave us out of discussions?

How do people claim to claim to support marginalized people and victims but also partake in hate bandwagons or other acts that can put them at risk of being hurt irl?

How do people claim to be pro mental health and still do the other things I mentioned. Or again disregarding the exprince of others and how it can affect them in more ways than one?

Who does benefit? This just isolates us further and it really benefits big corps in the end. Eating each other alive to make their jobs easier.

This whole thing reminds me why I joined tumblr. Like the vibe on here is different. Much better than other apps where you essentially become a brand instead of a person. Tumblr has weird mfs and I fw that hard.

I miss when people were freely weird and cringe. I miss when social media wasn't a fucking panopticon. I miss miss an old internet that we will never get back. And it makes me worry for the future of everything. Give people grace PLEASE😭!

I want people to be as authentic as they can be 😩 and that's why I'm yapping.

[chumpovodir]

quick vent post because my therapist says i need to start telling someone who's not her my problems lmao

this year i've been full of existential dread bc i feel like i've been stuck in a rut and wondering if this is just how things are gonna be until i die

i turned 30 which maybe has something to do with it, and i know the general wisdom on tumblr is '30 is still really young', but good lord it feels isolating as hell being this age and not having met the same milestones as most folks my age or younger (i'm a quiet homebody that lives in my parent's house, can't drive yet, never had a romantic partner cuz i thought i was ace but now questioning that). like how do you connect with other people when it feels like you haven't lived much life yet

add to that i feel completely fucking lost in life all of a sudden, don't even know what i like anymore, what i'm good at bc everything feels low-key kind of pointless. which is weird and disorienting bc i used to be very sure of myself and generally okay with my position in life

my therapist has helpfully pointed out that i'm probably just coming out of survival mode for realises (tbh life was constantly stressful for me before my dad passed) and it might just be an adjustment period

but i'm also questioning if it's the medication i'm taking for a suspected bipolar 2 diagnosis either making things worse, or simply not doing what they're supposed to do. and now i've run out of those because there's no stock anywhere and the hospital that has my prescription still hasn't called me in over a week to let me know if they have it now

[statementlou]

Hope it's okay to ask you this, really wanted to know WHY there's a label of being unlabeled? Like doesn't that defeats the purpose of having a label? Cuz when you say queer, you can be anything you want to be but when youre unlabeled, youre either straight or gay... right?

Definitely okay, and glad to ramble about it all! But first and most importantly, "unlabeled" IS NOT A LABEL! So yes it absolutely defeats the purpose of having a label and like that's the idea? It simply says nothing. [EDIT: wait there's an 'unlabeled flag'?? and apparently this is about discourse about that? I... whatever. I still feel this answer is valid and covers it fuck it. But also not claiming labels and claiming a flag are IMO opposite things so like- whut? Just... don't wave a flag? Tada you are unlabeled!]

I agree that queer is a wonderful catchall word that allows you to say, "I am not straight but anything beyond that is detail that I don't feel the need to list right now"- but saying you are queer does very much mean saying out loud "I am not straight." Whereas saying you do not wish to be labelled is instead a way of dodging the question, of saying "I don't want to talk to you about that. I'm not telling you that I'm gay or straight or questioning or anything else, because it's none of your business." Mostly I assume you are asking me about why Harry has said that he prefers not to label himself and my first answer would be that the difference between Harry saying that and Harry saying "I identify as queer" is just HUGE and that's probably the biggest reason. Like SO DIFFERENT in terms of impact and headlines and repercussions! There's a scene in the movie 'I'm Not There' where they are reenacting the drama of a famous moment where Bob Dylan shocked the world by playing an electric guitar at a folk festival, which without the context of the time and the cultural moment seems kind of silly now, like what's the big deal, so how to convey to the modern audience what it felt like at the time? Filmmaker Todd Haynes does it by having the actor playing Dylan (Cate Blanchett!) slowly open the guitar case, pull out a machine gun, and turn around and spray the audience with bullets as they scream in shock and betrayal. As I see it, that's pretty much what it would be like if Harry were to say he was queer at this moment. And it would change everything for him forever and it would be a media and discourse storm like I can barely imagine. It would be NOTHING like him simply refusing to answer the question by saying unlabeled which causes some online discourse and feels pretty obvious for those of us who already know he's queer, but doesn't really change anything.

So no, I don't really think it needs to be looked at too hard, why Harry might say such a thing: but as it happens I personally kind of believe that he meant it more than just as a way to dodge questions. And while I can't possibly say if that's true or what he really feels because how could I or any of us know, since I do sort of identify with that I can say something about my feelings and why even I, a person who isn't closeted, might say such a thing if people were asking me those questions, which is naturally very specific to me, but I can see where there might be some kind of parallels.

I've been out and comfortable with the idea of myself as a queer person for as long as I've been old enough to have any identity at all in that sense. So I just went ahead living my life and taking it for granted that nothing would ever change (literally always a mistake)… but the wonderful thing about having stability and a sense of safety is that it allows you to actually develop and grow and as a result of that things do change, because flux is a part of life. Like one thing I have seen a lot of over the years in queer communities, for example, is people growing into different gender identities at various stages of life. There are definitely lots of trans people who know for sure very young, or who aren't exposed to those ideas until later but as soon as they are they know; but there are also a lot of people who grow into new identities over time, whose relationship to gender changes. Where it absolutely isn't a case of always having been a man or a woman but simply constrained by society, but of things evolving and shifting. Or of desires shifting, people who have been very very end-of-the-spectrum only gay or only straight experiencing different attractions for the first time very late in life. I myself have experienced some of this stuff. And it feels as confusing and destabilizing as I imagine it is for many people to initially realize they are queer, having to rewrite my whole sense of the things about me that I thought I knew for sure. And relevant to this discussion: as a result I DON'T KNOW what my labels are now! I simply avoid talking about my specifics of identity because the long winded and confusing answers to those simple questions is just like… not anyone's business?? I don't want to talk about it outside of like, therapy? It feels intimate and private, not to mention how vulnerable it would feel to share this unfinished process and all the confusion it entails. So "queer" is great and handy and I claim it because I'm not closeted so I can and it makes things simple but what if I weren't out? And the paper was asking me? Yeah I would also decline to state.

idk I mean tl:dr most likely Harry said that mostly as a way to dodge the question but for simply one possible hypothetical, let's say for example that he has identified as gay since his early teens (likely imo) but in his 20s began to grapple with the idea that he may not identify as A Man, is attraction to men still "gay", is it something else, what is the right label… everything gets muddled and confusing and I think there are a million variants of this that could cause someone to question what exactly their labels would be and to prefer not to use any, that's all

[shoppingshoppingshoppingshopping]

Listen/purchase: I'm Sorry That Happened so Fast by Local Teen

OK new album write up time.

Well, it looks like I screwed up the release date and set it for september 2023 when it was supposed to be september 2024. so the question is will it always be out of order for the rest of time or will i be able to fix it at some point?

cdbaby as usual has awful support and still hasn't gotten back to me to fix the date. why is support so bad everywhere? anyway....

I was doing all the boring technical stuff as i thought it was ready and then cdbaby rejected my files. apparently they don't take 96k audio. so now i am opening up each session and having to re-render at 44/16. Which is a total drag cuz now i have to relisten to the entire album again. I love most of these songs but i am also so damn sick of them now after hearing them 1000 times.

all these songs except the neat neat neat cover are from 2019. Meaning I started them then. Many were just chords and maybe a melody. A few had lyrics and were mostly done except needed clean up and a mix.

ok so first song,

away from home: this one I think I had almost everything except lyrics. All those were recorded this year. This album took forever to put together. I think I finally sat down and decided to finish it right after I released the last one. Lemme check. Oh crap that was december 2023! Damn I take forever. Or not. I know what I like and i get pickier as time goes on. I guess this is just what it takes.

I am finding I have less desire to polish old songs that don't have much to grab me. Like one of the ones in this pile was this really cool bass line and drums. I've spent maybe 20 hours trying to shape it into a song and I haven't figured out yet how to do that. There are a few like this. A few albums back I wouldn't give up and would eventually find it. But I dunno. It's just so much effort and pain. When I have literally 100s of songs that will come together easier when I finally get to them. So I'm wondering why bother.

Another lesson is that album of unfinished songs I put out. A few of those will come on my spotify shuffle and now I can hear exactly how to finish them. So the lesson there is wait. It might come. If not? that's OK. This is life. Ya gotta let go sometimes. There is pain in making music/art. It's uncomfortable. The hard part is figuring out what kind of torture is good and what isn't.

Anyway, Away from home has lyrics about a violent cartel crime situation. I love crime movies. I just rewatched michael clayton again for the 10th time? it's so good. Pulp fiction too. Which took a while to pull me in but after the overdose I was in all the way and didn't want to leave it. Butch's girlfriend isn't as bad as Bill Simmons says she is. In fact she's just fine. John Maclane yelling to himself in the car felt a little forced very "acting".

BTW it's taking at least 20 minutes just to open the 3rd song session. I think there's over 250 tracks in there.

Listening back. Away from home chorus is sooooo good. I couldn't stop myself from recording this really jazzy harmonies. My music theory talk sounds like I know something but really I aint shit but I think there's like 9ths and 7ths and diminished somethings in there.

I played the broken cello I got from craigslist free on this. Some wood glue and a jerry rigged "clamp" using ratchet tie downs and it's playable. I have no idea how to play the cello but I was able to get some good sounds out of it for this song.

2: use a hoe

this is kinda funny. i found an earlier version of this. Spent MONTHS on it. Then towards the end of wrapping up the album figured I needed one more song. Went into the next batch of unfinished songs and found this version. I thought it was so much better. It was completely done except for some clean up and much needed mix changes.

lyrics are about some of the poor folks I spent a lot of time around when I lived in florida. when people say "i don't get trump voters" I always think "Ah you never spent any meaningful time with different kinds of people."

this is one of the negatives of tiered experiences like fast pass at an amusement park or anything not general admission at an event. a society is better when different people mix in positive ways over a shared enjoyment.

It's funny that this is bragging now but my florida experience gave me bonds with fresh off the boat Hatians, Cubans and pretty much all of latin America, not to mention kids whose family have definitely been at a KKK BBQ before (or maybe it was just a rumor that everyone that lived near moon lake was KKK. I dunno. I was too scared to go) and just all sorts of people with lots of debt, loyalty to the strangest things, strong family bonds hidden under resentment and the types of folks the media just never ever shows you.

Lower Middle Class life just isn't romantic. There's a fair amount of substance use, lots of humor, missing teeth and bad tattoos on even worse skin. That doesn't make for good streaming content. One lady I knew had no front teeth and her car was literally infested with roaches. You'd see them crawling all over the seats at any time of day. how the florida heat didn't kill them? I have no idea. Also if her car was like this what was her trailer for of kids like?

Who are they going to cast to depict her in a show? Glenn Close? She has the face of a shoe that only rich people know about.

i'm solid to maybe upper middle class now but those folks still exist inside me like guardian angels. They write a lot of my lyrics. I get them but i also resent them for not doing what i would do. not that that's right, but just reporting from subconscious.

When I was 16 working in fast food, I worked with a 40 year woman named BJ. She said it was short for something like "Billie gives the best blow jobs". Kids, the 90s were wild. or maybe just florida or both. This lady also was kind of illiterate and her kid names on his birth certificate was "BRAIN" no Brian. I hope she's doing well but I doubt it. The world has changed in a way that hasn't been protective of folks like that. That's just sad. I liked these people. We worked together as team. There is a special bond you gain when working on a time crunchy environment. I hope they made it out of poverty OK or least didn't go lower.

3: send the girls over

This was one of those songs I couldn't stop writing. It was so inspiring. So many ideas and lyrics. I saw a songwriting friend recently and told him I wanted to be better at lyrics. Then I went back to finish this song and saw that I'm not crap. I can pull it off sometimes. Cuz I am so proud of these lines:

so you didn't want to lie yet we did watch it grow that thing upon your face that drips when you get cold that looks down on the poor turns up when you get old through which you soon will pay for sticking it where it surely doesn't go

Keith Hopkin of The Blue Album Group and Asobi seksu sang on the woah parts. I love his voice. We used to be in a Weezer cover band together.

So did my nephews, probably the missus as well. I had anyone that came over sing on those woahs for a few weeks.

I just love this song. Listening to it now the "I knew it was you part" still gives me chills. I also played the trumpets on this. I don't know how to play at all. Yet I was so inspired that when I hit record and blew my heart out and ya know what? the right notes just came out! I WAS FUCKING FEELIN' IT! God is good, man. I'm tellin' you.

That's the magic of music, man. It can make you do stuff you can't usually do. It's like a super power. I can feel my version of god in this moment. Thank you universe for the gift to stick with this craft and to keep trying to make songs I like. And thank you for the love I get to feel for myself when I hear what I made.

Ok now I feel exposed.

I'm pretty sure there's 250+ tracks in this. It became impossible to work on because it uses more resources than my computer can handle. But nevertheless he persisted.

4: come on baby

there's a version with 3 other parts not in this one. They were more metal/butt rock than I like. So I wrote all new parts. And then ended up redoing everything. Vocally I was trying to find the right voice then heard a DFA1979 song and thought "oh I should try that".

My les paul through my orange tiny terror is the perfect guitar tone for this kind of song. Its my favorite amp/gtr combo just because when it's right it's just perfect. It's just not always right for each song.

5: why start now - a classic vibe of "why bother? let's get ta slackin'". feels very 90s to me.

I love my funky bass lines. I feel like I should show them off more cuz I do some pretty cool stuff sometimes.

You know what's very un 90s? The amount of self love I have for my work as I write this today. It took lots of therapy, will power and the desire to change to get here. Don't get me wrong I hear the "you suck" voice daily. Just now I thought "you're being really honest here. We feel vulnerable. don't do this" then another voice said "no one listens to your music and never will so who cares?". Then another voice said, "just be in your creative space and flow. this is a gift to have this. so many people wish they could make things. you're lucky".

This song had a completely different feel. Then I went on a dancehall trip with my spotify deep dives and realized I should try that. Re did the drums. Then realized lots of other stuff needed to be redone but cause it didn't work with my new groove. so yeah, this is a dancehall song. for me.

6: neat neat neat - i made this in like a week towards the end of my last album. it came together to quickly. i put it on there but then went i went to release it Landr was like "no covers otherwise you can't make any money from ANY of the other songs on the album".

So I am putting it on this one since I am using CDbaby to release this one and they won't ding all the other album tracks if they get lots of youtube streams.

Keith Hopkin sang on this too!

7: What we are

I have a slight headache. I probably have covid. this morning I had a million great ideas for a new song I am working on. I was also so excited to do all this admin work to release my new album. but now I just feel so scattered and can't wait for this to be over.

first line is something i remember steve albini saying in an interview when asked about movies or tv shows. talk about yucking someones yum! i often have to turn steve off in my head when i am watching something mediocre. i can see the acting and just how silly it all is.

i used a lot of 1176 compressors on the first version of this. ended up removing nearly all except on the gtrs. i dunno why but that thing never worked for me. I have friend that loves it. I don't like his drum sounds. but i get that it's a classic sound.

8: use a hoe slower

spent a long time trying to get this one to work. i like it's chill vibes.

Do I sing about being dead or alive a lot? I think I sang something similar on another song on this album. I dunno. I make a lot of music. I'm bound to repeat myself

Ok i'm done. I just did a proof reading pass about a week later. I definitely have covid. I toggle between dizzy, tired, confused, hungry and inspired to make dance music. I've started 3 tracks with beats and basslines and then stop. That's fine. It takes a lot of practice to get good at a new genre.

[stardust-arcade]

Why the fuck do people keep shoving AI in fucking arcade machines??? What the fuck???

That I would like to know too. Why this count I have two nickels for every AI stuck in an arcade. And it's not much, but it's weird that it's happened twice.

Twice?

Oh! Hello. Nice to see that you're online. Oh god your face is creepy.

The screen of the arcade flickers to Life. Displaying a creepy adaptation of an eclipse. Teeth misshapen. Face completely pitch black. A double set of rays proud behind them. At Moon's general startle He grins a little lighter. Causing moon to literally shutter.

Yah. Big nice and creepy. A great way to get somebody to stop messing with my wiring. What are you doing?

Um. I was told by another DCA here that you needed a transfer.

Transfer? I never agreed to no transfer. Especially not when I would be leaving the other one behind!

If you're talking about the one that the other DCA is mind sharing with! They're coming with. The transferring into my brother right now.

You going to transfer them into another shared body? Really?

It's only temporary. Have parts coming in. Just not a full body yet.

Well. I hope your brother's better than the last one.

It's probably better? He's definitely not going to bar him from coming out. They'll be able to spend an equal amount of time.

Humm. Well if you say so. And I'm coming with?

The same way they are. In my head.

Wonderful. Now what did you mean by twice?

What did I mean- Oh about two arcades with AIs? We have a similar situation at home. Although they were taken out by someone else. Their transfer did not go well.

And you're planning on fixing that mistake?

I'm definitely going to try. Seem a lot more lucid. Which is better than before. I didn't even notice the other one.

Didn't notice? Or did they just not want you to?

What?

I wasn't talking before cuz I don't trust you folks. When you get as old as me, And you hear the world fuzz around ya. You learn that it's not so kind to what it doesn't understand.

Oh... I guess I'd never thought of it that way.

No one really does. You playing hopscotch with my code?

A little bit. You're so entangled into the game. You took it's shape, It's movements, looks like even personality?

What else would I supposed to use? Imagination can only go so far when you're stuck in the same cycle.

Well yes, it just makes separating you a tad harder. I either take the game with you, or I meticulously carve. Do you have a preference?

Preference? Nah. I don't think I'm ever going back to who I originally was. As long as you don't take too much of the game with me. I don't think I'm going to lose myself to heavily.

All right. I'll do a sort of soft carve. Avoid the game as much as I can, but take as much as needed.

How'd it go for the other fella?

Don't know. Wasn't there. But as far as I can tell... Bad probably?

Probably?

I don't know what his main personality was before. But he switches emotions very quickly. Seems to switch ages too. It's strange.

Huhm. You think he's one of those old models?

Excuse me?

The ancient ones. Where it was one personality or the other. I'm not sure on the age thing, But I'm pretty sure that's a thing they used to do all the time.

That would be far too old. They won't even have a mind at that point. I could see it being some sort of actualization of the actor role though. They do like theater.

Well that could just make them even older. And time can corrupt as much as being shoved into one of these things.

How did you get put in this arcade? Certainly not on your own.

No... Humans are cruel things. Decommissioning an AI wasted a lot of money. Hard to do too. Especially if they're fighting. So sometimes they hide them away. Make a game more interesting.

Oh... That's terrible.

I'm used to terrible. One thing I will say about arcades. You can live forever in them.

I doubt that.

I'm serious kid. Arcades are relics for a reason. Motherboards nicely nestled away. The only damage you get is to your screen or eternals. Get wires broken but you're still alive. He start to lose sight, movement, Maybe even certain process and functions. But you're still there. Is broken and mute as you can be. All it takes is plugging back in the right stuff and you're alive again.

Is this from.. experience?

Hahah! I was a transfer to this facility. They had to fix some stuff up. I know what it's like being dead and alive at the same time.

Well... Hopefully you will never have to go through that. I think I got the transfer all set up. I'm going to try and move you now. Please reject it if it's not feeling good.

All righty then.

[essektheylyss]

.

[the-blind-geisha]

you're so right with that pandemic thing. i swear i had my moments when i thought it was 2023 and not 2022 lel.

living in demiurge tag sounds amazing, ngl. and, honestly, im not surprised you're trying to put his character into your original work. man, this gives me some very good memories, haha. good luck with that! i mean, based on what you were doing with your oc in ac era, im sure you gonna do amazing in here too! <3

glad to hear that. not about that anemia part, that can go and suck something. but yeah, thanks a lot, dear. ngl i feel guilty about this (or more like cringing) so, really, thanks a lot. it means a lot too! <3

Yuri Alpha has so little time to develop too, just like Albedo and Demiurge </3 but i know what you're feeling. my fav one is Sebas (funny how he and Demiurge aren't on friendly terms) and yeah. i mean, he had some time but it doesn't feel enough for me. or maybe, i just wanna see Tuare again. I absolutely love her too. I watched a few episodes of the new season and it's amazing! like you said, they really raised the quality (flashbacks from these sheep? from previous season). and yeah, the movie! man, i think it's time to reread the light novels.

that's really so sweet, I mean, oh my goooooooood. so, so, sweet! i need to confess tho, i was never really interested in final fantasy nor i can imagine myself getting and being active in overlord fandom. to be honest, i'm here just for you. our contact was cut but i've been thinking about you, how you've been and all that stuff. after all it was thanks to you that i started writing too and met people i still talk to. it sounds so silly, but i own you a lot. that's why i want to check in on you, from time to time <3

i was honestly surprised you got back on the blog that had ac content. but hey, no matter where you are and which blog you're using, you're still the same wonderful creator from these years ago <3. and i gotta check (reread!) the fall series cuz the dilf addiction is stronger in me than ever. also, damn, those names of your stories bring back memories too. but dunno why, i find myself missing the one about jacob wooing the reader? anyway, i just want to say: take your time. if you decide to post your fanfics again, that's great. if you decide to never post your fanfics again, that's great too! don't feel pressured, alright? no matter what. yes, im sure a lot of people would love to reread these fanfics again, but they have no right to pressure you to post them. those are your fanfics and it's completely your choice if you want to release them to the world again or to let them rot on your hard drive. (send them to a happy farm kekekek)

oh my! that's wonderful! i mean, he's your character, after all. so, i'd be nice to bring him back. loving the idea of werewolf au (it kind of reminds me of his ability to turn into a horse) but still, no pressure, alright?

omg that's honestly so nice! but also, hm. alright then, since im that person, then, hiya Oreana, thank you for all the fanfics, love letters, rp responds you have blessed us with. it was truly such a pleasant journey. but i should also say: thanks for writing that one love letter. i actually requested it during a school's party, my mood was absolutely low but your letter lifted it. <3

don't worry about the folks (me) not finding you! we (me) have our methods ("hackerman" methods)

it's always great to hear from you too, Oreana! <3 - P

(i need to say that cuz yeah. ehem... HOLY EFF look how long the asks can be now! that's so effing cool! i remember how limited you were when i firstly got on tumblr, so that's so effing awesome. so effing awesome for someone who loves to talk a lot. like me yaay!)

Mawwr, thank you, hon! That means a lot!

Haha, don't worry about the anemia part. XD I have taken iron pills on and off to where I'm becoming a functioning person again. And, seriously. Don't worry about anything negative between us that may have happened in the past. ♥♥

LOL I love the whole dynamic between Sebas and Demiurge. I'll admit I was so confused during the scene where Demiurge was fighting to get Tuare on his farm having not read the LNs or Manga and forced to go right into the show. X”D I thought maybe Demiurge randomly cared about her out of nowhere and the two were silently fighting over what she should do for Nazarick. Then I realized he just wanted to torture the poor girl...and that the sheep were actually humans. My whole world turned upside down, I tell you! X”D Out of context Overlord scenes are awesome... lmao.

Ooh, you started writing? That's awesome! I am so happy I could inspire that! ;^; One of my main reasons for writing is to try and inspire/encourage others. So that makes me insanely happy. ;~; Of course, hon. You can always check in on me whenever you like! Heck, I feel during this time I get nervous about all the people I'm close to or even the readers I miss. I just hope they're all doing well.

It was more to feel safe, and also, people kept following me here. X3 So I just decided to return to it. ♥

You're so dang, sweet. T^T Aww, thank you?? That's so kind of you to say!

Jacob wooing the reader? You mean the one that spawned a mini-story after I did the first love letter of its kind for a late V-Day drabble? An old friend of mine created a whole aesthetic for it...I think I have it still. I do! ♥

I know he took the reader out on a date and all that and it caused some Romeo and Juliet drama, as she was a Blighter, I believe.

♥♥♥ Thank you for that. I can't tell you how guilty I felt deleting the stories. I never do go delete happy, but oof. I was just beyond repair. The only positive out of that craziness was I grew a stronger backbone, but I don't know at what cost. X3; Still, thanks!

My word...the fact you remember even that—Emmett being able to turn into a horse because his mom was Oreana in another AU of mine—is amazing. O_O; I actually almost forgot it! That is...beyond flattering?? Thank you so dang much! T~T

Thank you, hon. Just...Thank you... I'm like, almost a sobbing mess of happiness right now. I can't tell you how lovely this message is to receive. ♥♥♥ I am so happy that love letter you received has brought you joy and it came during a good time for you. It is wonderful to know my writings came during the perfect time for some folks.

(Yeah you can practically send novels. XDD Works for whenever someone wants to send a RP post, I guess!)

[commajade]

Amber ive been loving your album rankings! would you be interested in doing sunmi's full moon ep or the exo overdose mini album?

omg i just noticed ur lee joo young prof pic that's incredible has that always been there. i wanna do both! omg they're both 2014 albums that were like genre defining genre defying iconic at the time i'm so excited. i'm familiar with both but haven't listened to either fully. full moon - sunmi

i'm actually a little emotional about this ep rn cuz i watched come back home where yu jaesuk and friends + sunmi + rain went to sunmi's old apartment in cheongdamdong where she lived while making the full moon ep. it's my darling sunmi's solo debut! it was like entirely a jyp project but that's just how solo debuts are sometimes i guess. she was so young, like only 20 right? and my parents said that they were surprised to see sunmi still successful as a solo for so long because after wonder girls' mysterious disappearance (their words lol sarajeotda) no one was expecting sumi to debut solo and do well. she might've been the precedent for taemin too. sunmi wasn't a maknae but it was still a big deal for a young sweet member of a major group to debut solo with a sexy concept.

1. 24 hours - sunmi's debut single!! prerelease track!! iconic! honestly more people cover this than full moon which is interesting. the choreo is in fact iconic so it makes sense. a fave track of gay male dancers specifically she did this for the gays.

2. full moon - title track! brave brothers production of course iconic. "the first collaboration of jyp and brave sound" sunmi said she didn't realize the intro was so long when she was promoting it lol. ah what a classic, creepy halloween-y concept. i really loved the creepy old house aesthetic a lot of 2nd gen mvs had actually whenever i see a callback to it (abandoned by wonder girls) it's a v welcome surprise. 3. who am i - love a yubin sunmi collab <3 i like the cinematic feel of the song. the production is p american pop style but i'm into it.

4. burn

4. frozen in time

5. if that was you let's go exo overdose! i'm not actually super familiar with exo's bsides or history so this is gonna be fun.

1. love love love - this is one of my fave exo bsides of all time but forgot the title (i thought it was moonlight sonata?). god it's incredible. the kinda cascading sounds and piano sounds are def to be like ~oriental~ but kpop that use that just sounds good i forgive the self orientalization. this could be a 2020 exo subunit title track. 2. thunder - rnb!!!!!!!! 2000s rnb!!!!! the glass shattering effects. the clicking noises later. the harmony. wow. a perfect kpop rnb song. vocals production melodic topline all so good. no wonder exo became the kings of kpop. 3. overdose - all i remember from 2014 is that i could never finish the mv because of the flashing lights and i tried again and i was correct lol. i had to watch it just now in bits and pieces. looking at them just makes me go awwww they were BAAABIES esp kai and kyungsoo they're so cute. god the choreo is so iconic too. was exo one of the groups that started the whole third gen boy group rebellious youth concept?? or did someone else start it but they followed. because their debut was SO very second gen to establish them as tvxq's successors and heavy hitters like sm is doing with aespa rn. but by 2014 they're doing rebellious youth like all the other groups at the time? but with those cute suit outfits too it's that very polished very well made feel that tries to set them apart as an sm boy group. anyway excellent iconic song amazing flawless vocals. 4. moonlight - gorgeous classic simple 2000s rnb ballad. 5. run - it's a very 2013 almost like indie folk pop alt rock base???? what??? i was not expecting this?????? man they were CURRENT this SHOULD HAVE BEEN on the US radio for all of 2014-2017 it's like such a perfect encapsulation of radio pop billboard top 20 trends at that time but with like sophistication and interesting sounds. i'm jealous of korean teenagers who got to soundtrack their lives with this oh man.

[deidaratheartboi]

A Day In Life With The Akatsuki Pt 4

As I am writing this story I am going to be writing others as well because I have a feeling this is gonna be long. Anywho enjoy!

-Cue Intro Music-

Kevin walks out onto the stage like he owns the place.

Kevin: Welcome back to the show ladies and gentleman! Last time on "A Day In Life With The Akatsuki" should really shorten that name author. (Screw you Kevin)

Kevin: Anyways we got all the vote in and the people who were nominated were Itachi, Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Pain. Now you may be asking nominated for what? Well it's just to see who's a fan favorite. Whoever has the most votes by the end of the show will receive an award.

Kevin: Now let's get back to the real show.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Hidan and Kakuzu were chilling on the couch watching tv. Well more like arguing over it.

Kakuzu: Maybe if Audrey didn't do Kenya dirty like that she wouldn't have the damn problem. She should have paid the hitman to take Mane out then she wouldn't have to worry about anyone.

Hidan: Yeah but even if she did pay him what about Chelsey?

She would have taken notice one of her people were gone.

Kakuzu: Guess your right

A/N: I'm not sure how tv stuff works so I'm gonna make this as realistic as possible and not make it realistic.

Interviewer Person: You guys are really into the show huh?

Hidan: Shut up Chelsey is about to find out what Audrey did to Kenya.

Interviewer Person: But, I-

Kakuzu: Shut up

After the show

Hidan: I TOLD YOU MANE WOULD FIND OUT!

Kakuzu: Fuck you Mane fuck you

Hidan: Pay up

Kakuzu pays him $300.

Interviewer Person: Are you two done?

Hidan: Oi can't you see we're talking? Rude ass.

Kakuzu: These tv people get on my damn nerves

Hidan: You said it no manners

Kakuzu: Let's watch another one

Hidan: I got the snacks

Interviewer Person: Before you two go can I ask a few questions?

Hidan: Can I ask you some?

Interviewer Person: That's not really how-

Hidan: Why are you watching us you creep? Why are you still here? Do you have nothing better to do? Please go bother someone else.

Interviewer Person: Man I need a new job

-----------------------------------------------------------

Kevin whistles.

Kevin: Seems like Hidan and Kakuzu are giving Steve a hard time. (Yes he has a name now and I am naming the audience.)

Rianna: Hidan is lowkey a savage

Greg: A savage? He only told him off big difference.

Sofia: When will they show Painnnnnnnn?

Jorge: Calm down Sofia yeesh. Wait till Kevin announces it.

Kevin: Next up to observe we have the artists Deidara and Sasori!

Greg: I like Sasori he's dead inside like me

Jorge: Edge lord alert

Rianna: I bet he's sweet on the inside

Sofia: We'll see

-------------------------------------------------------------

Dei-Dei and Sasori were having a heated discussion about art.

Dei: ART IS TRANSIENT!

Sasori: ART IS ETERNAL!

Dei: Art is about as eternal as life is

Sasori: That was dark

Dei: Humans dying everyday just proves my point everything is temporary.

Sasori: Yet buildings have stood for decades even when time was moving fastly.

Dei: But, eventually it all wears away before it crumbles to dust.

Sasori: Then why is nature still here? It has lasted for many many centuries.

Dei: But, humans are destroying it everyday tearing down the once beautiful Utopia it once was.

Sasori: But, what about the sun?

Dei: Everything has to die eventually but, for now let's enjoy it. (Hope this didn't trigger anyone)

Sasori: Agreed

Steve: Wow you both have very valid views on art?

Dei: Are you an artist?

Steve: No-

Sasori: Then don't talk to us

Steve: I-

Dei: Whatever views we have we are still friends.

Sasori: Yes the best

Steve: That's sweet-

Sasori: Get the hell out of my room

Steve: All of you are very rude.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Kevin: Whooooooo Deidara and Sasori were having a very nice discussion? What say you audience? Forever or transient? (Feel free to comment which you guys think as well)

Greg: Forever

Rianna: Trasient

Sofia: Forever

Jorge: Art isn't where the money's at so no

Sofia: Damn ok

Greg: Kakuzu much?

Kevin: Next up is the dynamic duo of Itachi and Kisame! I wonder what they have in store for us.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Itachi and Kisame were enjoying the silence while drinking tea and eating donuts. The crew arrives in the room.

Itachi: I think the fuck not

Kisame: Can you people leave us alone?

Steve: Nope not until we get paid and leave this shithole.

Kisame: Damn ok

Itachi: Why are you here?

Steve: To observe you in your natural habitats

Kisame: You make is sound like we are animals

Steve: You are

Kisame: ....

Itachi: Leave Kisame alone whatever your damn name is

Steve: It's Steve

Itachi: Then leave us alone Stephen

Steve: No it's Steven

Itachi: Scott

Steve: No

Itachi: Samuel? Simon? Spencer? Sonny? Sheldon?

Kisame: Lmao

Steve: MY NAME IS STEVE GODDAMN STEVEN NOT STEPHAN, SIMON, OR SAMUEL! I KNOW YOUR DOING IT ON PURPOSE. I have a wife and three kids I need to take care of and you people are treating me like shit! I quit!

Steve storms off.

Itachi: Hope his kids don't turn out like him

Kisame: He looked stressed and unstable to begin with.

Back at the live tv studio.

Kevin: Due to Steve unexpectedly quitting we are sending a new interview their way.

Back at the hideout

Leon: Hello I am your new interviewer. How are you boys?

Kisame: I am fine

Itachi: ....

Leon: Good so what are you two doing?

Itachi: What does it look like?

Leon: Your quite sassy aren't you? I like it.

Kisame: Um chile anyways so what are you going to do?

Leon: Ask questions. First one Itachi are you single?

Itachi: Why do you need to know?

Leon: For personal I mean tv records

Itachi: Yes I am if you must know

Leon: Mhm next one how's a good looking guy like you still single?

Itachi: I have goals to reach I can't have someone distracting me from them. (Me in a nutshell)

Leon: Oh ok next one what is your sexuality?

Kisame: Ok no more questions

Leon: We can skip it

Kisame: No leave also how come you don't have any questions for me?

Leon: Your not interesting to me or anyone else

Kisame: Itachi finds me interesting

Leon: Dear he's only trying to be nice

Kisame: Not true you don't know him

Leon: We'll see anyways Itachi do you want to answer or not?

Itachi: I haven't decided yet

Leon: Mhm now for Kisame first one is do you like Itachi in a romantic way?

Kisame: What? No I like him as a fellow Akatsuki member and friend I can trust.

Leon: Really cuz you seemed kinda jelly when I was asking him questions.

Kisame: Those were personal questions that were none of your concern. We're done here

Kisame drags Itachi off.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin: Finally a little spice to this dull show

Rianna: I don't like the Leon guy

Jorge: Yeah it's like he's getting into their mind

Greg: Welcome to reality television folks.

Sofia: He is only doing his job

Jorge: I know but, still.

Kevin: Next up Konan and Pain are up next! The total not couple.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Konan and Pain were reading and chilling.

Leon knocks on their door.

Pain opens it.

Leon: Ello there handsome I am your new interviewer name's Leon.

Pain: Oh come in

Leon walks in and sits down.

Leon: Nice place you have here

Pain: Thanks

Konan: So what questions do you wish to ask us?

Leon: Well the question that everyone is dying to have an answer for is and are you two a couple?

Konan: No we are not

Leon: Mhm. Next question what kind of snacks do you like? I like orange snacks like oranges, Cheetohs, and ramen noodles.

Konan glares at him.

Konan: Well I've been having those kind of snacks for longer then you. (I'm dying over here help me)

Leon: Is that so?

Konan: Mhm you wouldn't know anything about that.

Leon: Or would I?

Pain: Ummmmmmmmm I like fruit

Leon: Next question why did you decide to come onto this show? For love? Drama? Me?

Pain nervously laughs.

Pain: I just thought it would be a nice experience

Leon: I know something else that would be a nice experience ;)

Konan: Leave

Leon: As you wish

--------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin: Damn Leon just damn

Rianna: Leon you hoe

Jorge: Can't blame him those guys are hot

Sofia: I thought you were straight

Jorge: Not anymore

Greg: Oh god

Kevin: That's all folks join us next time when we come back. Next week we will switch it up quite literally!

Greg: Is he gonna do what I think he's gonna do?

Jorge: It's gonna be mad chaos

Sofia: I smell potential tea

Rianna: Oh no

--------------------------------------------------------------

Just realized I did not put Tobi or Zetsu will next time

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.4

I wanna be an intern too, you ragedy ann looking ass hoe 😠



Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

All goes well when you are ignorant is what my dear best friend would say to me now, as I sit in the very back of the class unfocused on how our teacher is introducing an activity I have no chance of participating in. All I knew was that when Mr. Aizawa walked up to the board and wrote names of people getting offers, I wasn't one of them. Not that I expected to be, considering I wasn't in the sports festival, let alone the school at all back then. 

However, I did notice a small inconsistency in the order of the most offers. I was pretty sure that boom boom had gotten first place in the festival, him being there is what convinced me to transfer, but his name was actually second on the board. 

Todoroki had taken the place of first as far as offers were concerned. Todoroki the nice boy who I used to meet when I snuck away from my fucking prison cell. Call me privileged for complaining about living in a mansion All my life, but I much prefer being here. With common folk. They ground me. 

I peeked up from my phone at the red and white head of hair in front of me, he didn't seem all that fazed. Although maybe it was just the lack of seeing his face that made me believe he couldn't care less about all but one of those offers. Still, his business is his, and my business is the new Ao3 update on my favorite chrollo lucilfer fanfiction. What a babe. 

I decided that the class as of right now would be of no importance to me, considering I will have no offers, and bakugou-the reason I came here- hates me like I'm a piece of gum stuck under his shoe.  Through that conclusion I allowed myself to dissolve into the world of hxh and forget about how boring this world is. 

Could my power beat Killua or go in a fight? I mean, it doesn't enhance my strength like they did trying to get into Killua's house so physically they must be stronger. 

"Y/n! Is there something you would like to share with the class?"

Mr.Aizawas voice seemed almost shot at me as my gaze rose from my phone in my lap to meet him at the front of the room. He looked displeased to say the least. Well good for him, im displeased too, I might not be able to beat a fucking twelve year old in combat. 

"Huh?"

"You were grumbling, what's so important you had to tell us, hm?"

I thought it through for a second- just kidding, I never think anything through. 

"Oh, well I wasn't sure if I could beat Gon in a fight, but I'm not coming to the realization that if Chrollo is my boyfriend, I shouldn't have to fight anyone at all. I can just be a pretty face in the backgrounds and then after he wins for me i'll suck his-"

"Enough, y/n." Mr.Aizawa no longer held a tired looking face, his eyes were wide and an uncomfortable cringed was set on his face. As I peered at the rest of the class many also had shocked eyes, but unlike our teacher, held faint blushes. 

Minus midoriya, his face was completely red and his eyes void of life. I must've killed him, huh. 

"Wait!"

In an attempt to regain some dignity, I tried to correct myself.

"I would....not suck his-?"

"Don't even say it, shitty princess !"

"Woah bakugou, you spoke to me on purpose!?"

"Shut up!"

"Hey, how come you call me princess, you like me or something?"

He growled at that, neither of us paying mind to the fact that everyone in the class was either dead from nosebleeds or extremely uncomfortable and staring at us.  

"Its cuz you act fucking entitled like a princess"

"I'll be your pillow princes-"

"Enough!" A robotic-like hand sliced the air in front of me. The voice sounded firm, almost more teacher-like than our teacher's voice. I followed my gaze up the hand, not failing to notice how as I drew up the guy's arm his muscles only seemed to get bigger and bigger and- iida? 

"Oh class rep-"

"Y/n this vulgar language and border-line harassment needs to cease immediately. I will not tolerante overtly sexual language and acts in this class-"

As he was speaking I noticed something ironic about the situation. If everyone here didn't like sexual jokes or banter, how were they so flustered at comments that objectively should be unknown to them. 

"How did you know what I meant, iida?" I rasped in a low sultry voice, allowing my fingers to dance up his arm starting at the wrist in front of my face. 

I heard a few chuckles from, who I would say are the only two people enjoying this situation: kaminari and...stinky mineta. Iida's face grew more red than previously and the arms in front of me began shaking. 

"Mr.Aizawa it seems I've disarmed the robot. Is there a restart button or something?" I question with a serious face using the search as an excuse to wonder my eyes all over his body. Perverted? Yes. Rightfully attracted to this giant hunk of a nerd. Yes ×10. 

"No, there is not." Todoroki, who was in front of me, finally turned around to address me. I guess he was unfazed by my words. Looks like someone here can be cool. Whether he is okay because he is more comfortable with sexual jokes, or because he has yet to pick up on them, its nice that somebody in here can still function. Otherwise, I'd feel like a nuisance. 

"Y/n I'm not really sure how to- let's just say to have detention with your m- midnight. Detention. Yeah." Aizawa publicly convinced himself of my punishment? 

"Okay"

"Now, back to this, even if you didn't get any offers ALL of you will have an internship" 

And so went on the class, kids chose their hero names, not me though. I wasn't even sure I wanted to be a hero at all, this was just a little less boring and sad than the way I lived before. This school had people who laughed in joy, not just to mask the pain. That was the real benefit, not being a hero, or being strong. Likely no one here realized that there were many places where none of this joy was possible. 

Some of the kids in class gave me suggestions for a hero name, but I didn't like them anyway. They lacked personality, and while I have many adjectives to describe my personality, my life, none of them are all that heroic. 

"Dark element"

"Girl who will die if her quirk doesnt like its environment" 

See, I'm not the best at this. Even bakugan names had some sense to it...well no. I'd say we're about the same, but still. Ugh. 

~timeskip~ 

Bakugou pov 😠

She came up with no hero names. Fucking entitled brat. Everyone at this lunch table seems to have no problem with the fact that she is here, just happy to have another pair of tits to stare at like perverts. Their gross. I bet she doesn't even want to be a hero, she sure as hell doesn't act like it. We don't even know what her whole quirk is. Ive seen her do that plant shit a couple times, fucking with flowers or whatever. Still, there's more to it. Something we don't know, at least. Cuz in the middle of class she gets up and whispers to Aizawa and he just lets her go. Where the fuck does she go? 

Interrupts class, got into the school because her moms a teacher, won't use her quirk. What a nuisance, I can't believe she is not expelled yet. Plus those bullshit sex jokes are so shitty. She is obviously faking something when she does them. Not like midnight, who always at least seems like she means that gross shit. 

"Hey, who did you guys choose for your internship? I haven't chosen yet."

"The number three hero guy," I spoke, knowing I'm the only person here who already chose. 

"Really? Best jeanist! That's so cool, but are you sure that for you bakugou?" Shitty hair raised a shitty brow at me. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?"

"Just that he seems pretty...uptight..for you?" Dunceface added, but he spoke like it was a question. Of course he is the hero for me, he is the highest ranting hero on my list. If I wanna be number one, I gotta train with the best. 

If I go to his agency I'm sure there will be a lot more action, since he is so high ranking. Then i'll get some real experience kicking villain ass, well, other than the USJ. 

"Of course he is the right option!"

"Woahhh~"

Shit. It's her voice. I honestly should applaud her for using it less often around me but, how can one small girl be so goddamn annoying. I don't even know what she has to say and I already wish she would just put a sock in it. How can someone so entitled like her, probably never had to lift a finger, walk  over here and talk like she has something to say. 

"You're working with the best jeanist! So cool, one time he saved me from a group of rapist guys, it was awesome with all these strings everywhere and I could only see half of his face. Oh and he had goofy hair too!"

Oh. I didn't really know how to respond to the girl who looked so excited about almost being violated. Another thing wrong with her? I looked back at the other people at the table to see if they knew how to respond to something like that. 

Dunceface was frozen, tape arms were frozen, shitty hair was frozen, and alíen eyes were looking like a lost puppy and trying not to cry. 

It didnt seem like the shutty princess was exactly understanding how what she just yelled was making things weird. She just stood there expectantly. She kinda looked like she thought being raped was something that must happen to everyone. Did she think that? Wouldn't put it past her weird ass. 

"Uhm...anyways, i'm sure you'll do awesome, he likes to put boys in tight jeans. Wish I could intern too, I'd love to see that boom boom~" she winked. 

A perverted joke...and then she had the audacity to wink at me. 

"You wish you could see me in tight jeans, shitty extra!"

"I know...thats what a I just said." She dead panned, blinking a couple times at me. 

"Tch, screw you!"

"I would-" 

"Can it, i don't wanna hear your shitty voice anymore"

The girl stopped herself after my words, pushing all her hair behind her head, except for the two blond stands in the front. 

(You don't have to acknowledge these if you don't want, but I made it so that they change color depending on what element your using and I thought it was hot*if you have short hair, then you just got a lil nishinoya type thing 🥰)

Lifted her obnoxious hands that moved around while she talked and made a zipper-like motion over her lips. Then she just stood there looking at me. I really wanted to just let her stand there and go back to eating. Ignore her completely and let her hope fizzle out and die or something like that. 

Yet here I am, still looking at her. Silently. Wishing she made a stupid joke so that I could stop flickering between those images I'd seen of her dancing. How even though ballet is a princess fucking dance, the pictures felt nice. Like if I was watching it live I would probably be unable to criticize it. That pissed me off, because I want to hate everything about her, but I can't hate those photos. Where she looks like she is flying, without any need for a quirk.

I see her in that weird gown, and now, in the UA uniform. I see her looking respectable, formal, and serious. Then I see her stupid little smirk as she takes pride in being able to shut up for more than a minute. 

"Why are you still standing there?"

Instead of answering, she took her hand up again, made a pinch with her fingers and unzipped her mouth. 

"I was enjoying the look in your eyes."she smiled. 

The look in my eyes? Could she tell I was seeing two different people? What the hell does that even mean? Even said it without that shitty flirt voice. Like she meant it. 

"You tryna make fun of me?"I stood up from the table to get in her face.

"Not right now, maybe later, I gotta do something." She smiled sincerely at me, for a second as she walked away, I forgot about how this conversation started. What a wierd fucking girl. I'll never respect her as a hero. Tch. (Yes, its canon he tchs even in his thoughts) 

3rd person POV 

Y/n briskly walked out of the cafeteria with a new goal in mind. She would come to remember how maybe being oblivious was a benefit in some ways, but for now, she had a clear plan .

"Mr.Aizawa, let me do an internship."

"You weren't in the festival, I can't just hand you to a hero who has no idea what you can do, y/n."

"Well, you know what I can do, right?"

"No. I'm not doing internships. Stop asking."

"That's not what I meant! You can just tell them, or I could, it's not that hard to explain. Just say i'm all- powerful or some play on words like 'she's got all the right elements' hehe, see how i mimicked your voice there?" Y/n grinned like a child. She was proud of herself. 

"No. Still not happening."

"I wanna be an intern too, you raggedy ann looking ass hoe" 

"Y/n, it doesn't make sense, insulting me to get what you want?"

"Maybe it doesn't, but I bet you feel real insecure about your hair right now."

"You already have detention, what more do you want!"

"An internship, I wanna do one with kamui Woods, I have a good reason, too. As far as my quirk control, i'm the weakest with earth, the aspect that allows me to grow and manipulate plants and stuff. That's why I've only been using that part of it all month. Im trying to get her up to speed so I can start using all four at once. He is like a tres guy, right? He manipulates earth all day long. He could teach me a lot, and that aspect of my quirk would suit his well. Please!?!?!?"

If the girl had just asked again in a normal way, his answer would have been the same. However Aizawa was taken aback to hear how much thought she put into this. From the stories of the teachers lounge, he came to understand her big life goal, was to rely fully on a rich man or woman, and do nothing at all forever. Just to try and forget about the terrible life she was destined to have because of that quirk.

This side of her was something he could not even her mother had seen, and it prompted him to speak those words she wanted to hear so badly.

"Fine."