#would have loved to see Maria work with the Sam

[brightnote]

This IMDB interview for Spider-Man Far From Home hurts so bad now. All she does is talk about how much she loves working with everyone and she loves playing Maria and doing these movies and how everyone is so great to work with and how much she trusts Marvel and their process and then they killed her off.

Also bonus: Anthony Mackie comes to Cobie Smulders for relationship advice and now she won't even get to be with him in any new Cap stuff. UGH. This interview is so cute too.

Especially frustrating in another interview at San Diego Comic Con --- where Cobie was the ONLY cast member to show up to promote Secret Invasion and the whole audience was lead to believe she had a "major" role in the show Cobie confirmed that in Spider-Man Far From Home Maria and Fury were made to be skrulls (Soren & Talos) after the fact because there was no conceivable way for Fury and Maria to be tricked by Quentin Beck-- especially because Maria worked at Stark Industries! If you were watching Spider-Man in theaters like me and said out loud mid movie there is no way Fury & Maria would fall for this-- you were right! They wouldn't and this was the only way to get around that major fact. Another reason why Maria getting killed the way she was killed was such a waste. There's just no way that Maria would tell Fury 'you can't do this' and then he goes 'i'm going to do it' and she's like 'okay i'll help!! bad idea but shrug emoji let's go!'

[togrowoldinv]

To Show Thanks

Milf!Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Wanda does all of the cooking for Thanksgiving and you help her see just how thankful you are for her

Warnings: Smut! 18+ please! Kissing, bathtub sex (W receiving), soft sex

Note: The most wonderful time of year indeed. Enjoy the milf!

Wanda Maximoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist

The house smells of turkey and the holiday season as Wanda stands by the stove. She’s been cooking since the crack of dawn, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

You’ve helped with a few things, but mostly it’s been Wanda who is putting in the work. The twins run around the house and play as they wait for the company to arrive.

“No! I’m running out of time!” Wanda’s voice breaks you from your thoughts.

“It’s only 5, baby. You still have about an hour until the guests arrive,” you say.

“That’s not long enough,” she says, a sigh falling from her perfect lips. They form into a pout as she observes the work she has ahead of her.

“Well, you could use your magic,” you say.

Wanda smiles but shakes her head.

“No magic today. Just me,” she says.

“You are magic no matter what, my love,” you tell her.

You stand up from your chair and hug Wanda from behind. She sinks into your touch. Dropping a kiss to her cheek, you make her feel relaxed even if for just a moment.

“Tell you what,” you begin. “I’ll get the rowdy boys to set the table and I’ll help you do anything you need. We can do this.”

“We can do this,” Wanda repeats though she’s not sure she believes it.

You kiss her cheek once more for good measure and then you go find the boys. They’re in their room playing Mario Kart.

“Hey guys,” you say. “How about we pause the game and go help Mom get ready for the guests?”

“Okay!” Billy answers easily. He’d do anything for his mom.

“Can we finish this level?” Tommy asks.

“Later, buddy,” you say.

“Okay,” he says, a slight sigh in his voice. He pouts like Wanda does.

“I have a super secret task for the two of you,” you tell them before you leave the bedroom.

“What is it?” Tommy asks.

“Today is Thanksgiving, which means that you tell people that you’re thankful for them. I got your mom a card and I was thinking you two could write a sweet note in it for her. What do you think?”

“Yes!” They both agree. Anything for Wanda.

You smile and lead them to the home office where they work on the card. You leave them to go back and help Wanda. Once they’re done, they come downstairs and set the table.

Wanda was right about timing being close, but you manage to have everything cooked and ready to serve at exactly 6 o’clock.

“We did it!” Wanda says excitedly.

“You did it, babe. All you,” you say.

Wanda smiles softly and places a soft kiss to your lips. The boys feign disgust. Soon, the doorbell rings.

She answers the door and lets guests inside one by one. Steve is first with Natasha, Maria, Tony, Sam, and Bucky not far behind. You remember meeting them all at the boys birthday party, but it’s so nice to see them again.

Everyone gathers around the table and begins to eat Wanda’s wonderful food.

“This is amazing, Wanda,” Steve compliments.

“Yeah, great job, Wanda. Reminds me of home,” Sam says.

Wanda smiles shyly and tries to share the credit.

“No, this is all her. I can cook, but not like this. She’s like professional level good,” you say. Everyone nods in agreement.

“So, how’s everything going?” Maria asks Wanda.

You know what she’s referring to. After Wanda and Vision split up, the woman has gone through a hard time with the divorce and now child custody hearings. You’ve been the bright spot in all of it.

“It’s good,” Wanda says. “I didn’t know going to court would be so expensive but it’s almost over.”

“I’d sue his ass for what he’s put you through,” Natasha jumps in. Maria nudges her shoulder but she only shrugs.

You shoot her a smile and she returns a smirk.

“How about we just talk about what we’re thankful for?” Steve, ever the peacemaker, tries to change the subject.

“Great idea,” you agree. “I’ll go first. I’m thankful for Wanda and her wonderful children and friends.”

Wanda smiles and kisses your cheek at your words. You hold her hand under the table. You’ve become her everything over these last few months.

Wanda speaks next. “I’m thankful for friends who have become family, for my precious babies, and for y/n who is truly my best friend.”

Everyone goes around and continues to share what they’re thankful for. Love and laughter fills the air as the hours pass by. After dessert and socializing, the guests go home.

Wanda is in the kitchen running a sink of dishes when you stop her.

“Come with me,” you say, pulling her softly.

“But the dishes, baby. They won’t do themselves,” she tries.

You keep walking and lead Wanda to the living room. The boys are there with Wanda’s card in hand.

“We got you this, Mommy,” Billy says, handing her the card.

“Oh, thank you, baby,” Wanda says. She sits between the two boys. She opens the card and tears fill her eyes.

“We all signed it to say we’re thankful for you,” Tommy explains.

“Wow,” Wanda says softly. “This is so sweet. I’m so thankful for you guys too.”

Wanda kisses them both on the forehead as they lean into her. She reaches out to you too and you join the snuggle pile.

“Can we finish our level before bedtime?” Tommy asks after a moment.

“Yeah go ahead boys. Mom and I will be up to tuck you in soon,” you tell them. They hug you both before running up the stairs.

Wanda tries to get up but you pull her gently back onto the couch. She lands on your lap and you grin at her.

“Thank you for the card,” Wanda says.

“That was from the boys,” you say.

“Mhm. I know you were the mastermind,” she says. “I should really clean up dinner.”

“Nope.”

“What do you mean nope?” Wanda asks.

“You, my dear, did all the cooking so I will do all of the cleaning,” you say. “I’ll pour you some wine and you just get to relax, okay?”

You don’t give her a chance to say no. Instead, you kiss her and get up to start cleaning. Wanda sits at the counter and watches you. After a bit, you tuck the boys into bed and finish up cleaning.

“How about a bath?” You ask Wanda, leaning over the counter in a way you know draws her eyes to your chest.

“Only if you’ll join me,” she replies, pressing a kiss to your lips.

“Yes please,” you say.

You go to the bathroom together and run the water. Wanda slips off her clothes first and slides into the warm water. You join her and settle in behind her.

She rests her head on your shoulder as you softly run your hands over her body.

“Thank you for today,” Wanda says.

“You did the hard part.”

“No, I mean- you didn’t have to clean up or give me a card or anything,” Wanda explains.

“Oh,” you say. “I just thought you’d like it.”

“I did. I loved it,” Wanda rushes to say. “It’s just- no one’s ever done that for me before. It’s new.”

“You deserve it, Wands. Everything doesn’t have to fall on you. And you deserve to hear how thankful we all are for you,” you say.

“Hmm,” Wanda hums. She turns her head to look into your eyes. “I really love you.”

“I really love you too, Wanda Maximoff.”

She leans up and kisses you. You deepen the kiss and let your hand slip between her legs. Wanda gasps at the feeling.

“Just relax, baby. I’ll take care of you,” you say.

She lets herself relax against you as you move your fingers through her folds. Wanda lets out the sweetest sounds with every stroke. You slip fully into her easily and make quick work of getting her to her high.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Let go,” you say softly as she comes against your fingers.

Wanda’s eyes remain closed in pleasure as you simply hold her against you. She stays there until the water gets too cold and you have to get out.

You get dressed in warm pajamas and snuggle into bed next to each other. Wanda clings to you.

“I’m so thankful for you,” Wanda says as her eyes droop closed from exhaustion and relaxation.

“I’m thankful for you too, Wanda. I always will be,” you tell her.

With one more shared kiss, you two fall into a deep slumber that lasts until morning.

Wanda has never been so happy and that’s all thanks to you.

[bucky-barnes-lover]

Kinktober day 11: Public sex

Fic: Bucky Barnes

Warnings ⚠️: Public sex, Dirty talk, 18+ SMUT!!

W.C- 1229

"Happy Halloween" greeted Pepper as I walked through the large brass doors, into the compound. "You look amazing," I exclaimed, admiring Pepper's pirate outfit. "Are you kidding me? Have you seen yourself?!" She questioned taking in my outfit. "You look gorgeous. Bucky is gonna love it!" Pepper exclaimed, leading me through, to the hallway.

"I knew Buck wouldn't be able to keep his hands off me all night, so I went with the sluttiest Harley outfit I could find" I laughed off. "Well, I thought something similar so I did the same with Tony. He hasn't seen my outfit yet so I'm a little nervous," she replied.

"Have fun Pepp's, I'm gonna go look for Nat and the others" I said as we made our way into the bar room.

After searching around the party for a bit, I eventually found Bucky playing a game of pool with Steve and Sam.

"Hi baby" I greeted him,

"Hi doll, you look great tonight"

"Thanks, you look sexy" I replied, eyeing his brand new Joker outfit. (His new favorite movie.) "You boys look great too" I said to Steve and Sam complimenting their Men in Black outfits. "Thanks" they replied in unison.

"I'm going to go look for Nat and the other girls"

"Okay, I'll see you later doll" answered Bucky. I walked over to the bar and found Nat, Maria and Wanda wearing matching Alvin and the Chipmunks costumes while chatting about their latest mission. "Hey y/n. You look absolutely gorgeous!" Exclaimed Natasha as I made my way towards their seats. "Thanks girl, you three look so cute" I replied.

After a couple of drinks and conversations with the agents, it was time for the costume presentation. Everyone went up one by one, everyone else casting votes for the best dressed. Clapping and cheering echoed around the room as Tony walked up to the stage. "Welcome to the best Halloween party you will ever attend in your life." He started with. I rolled my eyes, knowing he would say something so cocky.

"I want to start by thanking everyone for being here, I've seen some amazing costumes and I've had some great conversations tonight. But it is now time to announce the winners of the Costume Competition. The winner for the best couples outfit goes to… Y/n and Bucky Barnes for their Joker and Harley quinn outfit"

Clapping erupted from the audience of where Bucky and I were standing, as we made our way up to the platform to collect the gift basket, full of Candy and Cute decorations and accessories that no doubt Pepper put together.

Tony continued his speech as Buck and I exited off the stage. "The winner for the best Group outfit goes to… Thor, Valkyrie, Steve, Sam and Jane for their Men In Black outfit." Tony continued, "And the Winner for the best outfit overall, goes to… Yelena Belova, for the Regina George outfit.

I must say, I've seen some very creative outfits by far. Thank you everybody for coming out tonight, Enjoy the rest of your evening"

As the presentation ended and everybody went back to their pool games and drinks at the bar, Bucky walked up to me from where he was at the front, chatting with Steve.

"You should've thought about wearing longer shorts,doll. You know I can't keep my hands off you all night, yeah." He whispered in my ear sending shivers down my spine.

"Oh I know." I replied with a smirk.

"That's why I chose this outfit"

"Really? Well then I better put your dirty thoughts to good use" Bucky continued. I could feel his hard cock pressed against my ass, I knew neither of us would last long but I continued playing it dirty. "Well if you like me in this outfit so much, why don't you fuck me in it?" I questioned, knowing my innocent stare and pouted lips would work on him.

"If we go so hard at it, I may as well put a baby inside you" Bucky laughed off, though I knew he was serious. "Then let's get the fuck out of here and I'll let you put a baby inside me!" I exclaimed, grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the party. "Where are we going doll?" Bucky asked as we ran through the hallway.

"The bathroom" I declared, enthusiasm creeping into my usually relaxed tone. I had to admit, having sex in a place where we could get caught excited me. Although I'd never tell Bucky about it otherwise he'd take me in every single public bathroom we passed by.

As we entered the bathroom, I ran across the rows to check no one was in the stalls, before hopping onto the counter top. Bucky stood in front of me, pants already half pulled down and his erection free. Grabbing my hips, he pulled my shorts down and without thinking twice, ripped my panties off.

"May I?" He asked politely, receiving a small nod from me. Inserting a finger into my entrance before adding a second one. My soft moans echoed through the bathroom as I felt Bucky's warm breath on my neck. Sucking on my sensitive areas as he rubbed my clit with his thumb. Still thrusting his fingers in and out of my soaking wet cunt. "Bucky, please just fuck me properly" I moaned as I could feel the sensation building up inside me.

Within seconds he was inside me. His huge cock stretching me out. "Oh Bucky" I moaned as he thrusted into me slowly. "Babydoll, you make me feel so good" Bucky moaned as his thrusts became faster and faster. Suddenly we heard a door slam down the corridor and somebody walked right by the bathroom door. A wave of panic ran through me but excitement took over the feeling. I giggled as I realised Bucky had stopped his movements. "C'mon Buck. It's just a door" I smirked at him.

Continuing our session, We both became more and more impatient. "Bucky, harder!" I exclaimed as I felt him hitting that same spot over and over again. "C'mon doll. When you're ready just go for it" He replied, a pleasing expression on his face.

Before long I had come undone under his touch, him cumming right after.

The wonderful feeling washing over me, as my muscles relaxed. "Hello?" Asked somebody from outside of the room. "Is everyone decent so I can come in?"

He asked as he knocked on the door.

"Give us two seconds will you" asked Bucky as he exited my pussy. Leaving an empty feeling inside me, causing me to only want more.

Aggressively he pulled up his pants and got himself dressed before handing me his button down shirt, which I conveniently tied around my waist as I no longer had underwear.

"All good" I yelled at the man waiting outside. To my surprise Thor walked in, looking as white as snow. Clearly confused and disgusted by the situation he had been caught up in.

Bucky and I left the bathroom and the compound before Thor could spread the news about us. "When we get home, I will fuck you so hard, you won't remember your own name" Bucky said to me as we walked towards the car. "Sure" I smirked at him in the reflection of the car window, "As if"

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

I freaking pray u guys like this, bc this took me like 5 days to write 😳🙃

[sourwolf-sterek32]

Broken Without You

Summary: After witnessing the death of your best friend Henry and his little brother, you're close to giving up and ending it all. Until Joel asks you to join him and Ellie on their journey across the country and gives you a reason to keep fighting.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: language, blood, suicidal thoughts

Previous Chapter

Chapter 8-

Joel was nowhere to be seen in the street as you exited the bar, so you began wandering around the community trying to find the house that Maria had allocated for you guys.

It wasn't hard to find though, because as you were walking past a large two-story building, Ellie suddenly walked out the front door sporting fresh clothes and a striped pink and white hoodie.

"Oh, hey!" Ellie shouted, jogging over to you with a bright smile. "You should see the inside of the house, it is enormous! And the hot shower, man, you're gonna love it!"

You smiled at how enthusiastic and happy she seemed to be. At least someone was having a good time in this community because Joel sure as shit wasn't.

"I can't wait!" You responded, matching her enthusiasm causing her to smile brighter. "Is, uh, Joel inside?"

She shook her head, "haven't seen him. I'm heading to Maria's. She said something about a movie night or... I don't really know."

"Go have fun. I'll see you later."

Ellie waved goodbye and walked across the street to the house that you assumed belonged to Maria and Tommy. You watched her go and tried to ignore the pang of sadness aching in your chest. Henry and Sam would have loved this place.

Little Sam would've loved patting Shimmer with Ellie earlier, he would love exploring this community with her and meeting other kids his age. Henry would have been thrilled to sit at the bar of the Tipsy Bison knocking back a glass of whiskey. They both would have loved this place.

Shaking your head at your thoughts, you walked through the front door of the other house.

There were three bedrooms, one downstairs with fresh men's clothes on the end of a bed, so you figured that was Joels room. Upstairs there was a room decorated with typical teenage girl stuff, and another room that seemed fairly normal and like Joels, had a small pile of fresh clothes and supplies on the end of the bed.

Maria matched your clothing size perfectly, the jeans, shirt and flannel jacket lined with soft wool all looked freshly cleaned and practically brand new. There was a towel, shampoo and a bar of soap also there, so you grabbed those supplies and walked out the bedroom and down the hallway into the main bathroom.

It was crazy having lights indoors that actually worked. The QZ had electricity and running water, but it had been a long time since then.

The hot water felt like absolute heaven on your skin.

You stood under the spray of the warm water for a few minutes cleaning your body and washing your hair with shampoo that smelt like coconuts. It was nice. It was too nice.

Henry and Sam should be here. They should be the ones eating homecooked meals in the cafeteria. They should be the ones getting clean clothes and having warm showers, not you. Why were you still here and they weren't? If anyone deserved to survive, it was them, not you.

Closing your eyes, you leant your back against the wall and slowly slid down until you were sitting on the tiled floor of the shower, letting the water wash over you. Tears burned in your eyes as you thought back to that morning in the motel room.

It wasn't fair. Why did they have to die? Why them?

You covered your mouth with your hands, muffling your cries in case Ellie returned to the house. You didn't want her to worry about you, but right now, alone with your thoughts, you couldn't stop the emotion that had been building up for all those months to come spilling out.

You cried, your tears mixing in with the shower water as they poured down your face. Henry's broken voice echoing through your mind on repeat, 'what did I do?' before he squeezed the trigger.

There was nothing you could do as those memories washed over you. So, you just sat there under the water, hugging your knees to your chest as you cried.

You weren't sure how long you were in the shower for, but you eventually picked yourself up from the floor and got out. You spared a glance at yourself in the foggy mirror, noting how red your eyes looked. There was no hiding the fact that you had been crying. You just hoped Ellie was still with Maria.

Clad in nothing but a towel, you make your way across the hall back to your bedroom, but as you rounded the corner, you quite literally bumped into Joel.

You grunted hitting his chest before stumbling back a step at the unexpected impact. Joel quickly shot his hand out, grabbing your bare shoulder to stop you from falling over, but quickly let go once you regained your balance and averted his eyes when he realised you only had a towel wrapped around you.

"Sorry." You apologised, hating how raw your voice sounded.

Joel must have noticed because he looked back over at you, making a point to keep his eyes on yours and his brows furrowed a little when he noticed how red they were.

"Y/N-"

"I'm fine." You mumbled, despite the fact that it was a clear lie.

"You're not."

You couldn't stand the look of concern in his eyes. You didn't deserve his concern. You didn't deserve any of this. Sam and Henry deserved this, not you.

"Doesn't matter." You whispered, stepping around him and walking off.

You could feel Joel watching you, but you kept walking until you reached the bedroom and slipped inside, closing the door behind you. Quickly, you got changed into the new clothes, still surprised at how well they fit before you grabbed your old jeans and pulled out the single bullet from the pocket.

The bullet was useless. Maria made you and Joel submit your rifles upon entry, but you tucked the bullet into your pocket nonetheless and walked back out the bedroom.

You could faintly hear Joel and Ellie talking from her bedroom further down the hall, so you slipped out the house without either of them noticing.

You weren't sure where you were going or what you were going to do, but you needed to get some fresh air.

The sun had long ago set, the sky now shimmering with stars above you. The footpath was lit up dimly by the streetlights, but the street was empty which you were grateful for. Earlier, there had been people bustling about, busy with errands. But now that it was night, it had fallen still.

You wandered the quiet streets of Jackson feeling numb while you thought of Sam and Henry. For so long, you felt so many different emotions, but now... now you didn't feel anything at all.

You were so distracted and caught up in your own head, you hadn't heard another set of footsteps sneak up behind you until it was too late.

"Well, well, well. Fancy seeing you here."

There was no mistaking that voice. It was Mark from Kansas City QZ.

You stopped in your tracks and turned around only to be met by a fist that collided against the side of your face.

For the first time in a long time, you felt something other than numbness. Pain blossomed through your skull, and to your own surprise, you liked it.

The force of the hit sent you to the ground though, but you didn't care.

It all happened so fast, you didn't have a chance to really process anything before he knelt beside you, leaning down until his face was inches from yours.

"You leave Jackson by dawn. If I see your face again, I'll put a bullet through it."

"Fuck you." You spat, lifting your arm and throwing your elbow back into his face.

"Fucking bitch!" He hissed, stumbling back a step, holding his now bleeding nose.

"You think I can't take a punch? That was weak. Come on, try harder." You teased, getting to your feet and holding your arms out to the side in an almost taunting pose.

You knew this would only make him angrier. It was a bad idea. Horrible idea even. And something was seriously wrong with you because you wanted this. You wanted him to hurt you. Maybe you couldn't use the bullet on yourself, but if someone else just ended it... well, you weren't going to stop them.

Mark took a step forward and let go of his nose. Blood dripped down his chin, staining his neck while his whole body shook with rage. Oh, yeah, he was angry. Good.

He took another swing which you managed to dodge easily, but you didn't try and dodge the second and you welcomed the familiar sting of his knuckles colliding with your jaw.

Your head snapped to the side from the hit, instantly tasting copper in your mouth.

"Think I'm weak now?" He snarled.

You grinned madly, exposing your blood covered teeth as you began to laugh boarder-line hysterically.

"Yeah, I do."

Mark lunged forward, grabbing you by the collar of your jacket and pinning you up against the brick wall of the house behind you. Your back slammed against the brick roughly causing you to grunt, but you didn't try to fight back.

"That the best you can do?" You asked, raising your eyebrows at him.

His chest expanded as his shoulders pulled back making him look bigger and fierce. But before he could do anything, a voice suddenly shouted in the background.

"Get the hell away from her!"

Tommy Miller.

God damnit, why did he have to show up?

Mark glanced over his shoulder in the direction of Tommy before he looked back at you with rageful eyes.

"Be gone by dawn or you'll regret it." He growled.

He didn't wait for you to respond before he was sprinting off down the street in the opposite direction and disappearing into the darkness.

"Holy shit, Y/N." Tommy's voice gasped, and you tilted your head to the side to find him rushing over to you.

"I'm fine." You dismissed, spitting a mouthful of blood on the ground.

Tommy appeared in front of you a moment later, his wide brown eyes filled with so much worry and concern as he stared at the no doubt reddening bruises on the left side of your face. It probably wasn't something you should have noticed, but his eyes were strikingly similar to Joel's.

"Y/N-"

"I've had worse. I'm fine." You said, not wanting Joel's brother to worry about you, especially while you were still mad at him for earlier.

"C'mon, I'll take you to the infirmary-"

"It was just a couple punches. I'm good. I swear."

"You don't look good. Your eye is already starting to bruise. Do you want me to get Joel?"

Absolutely not.

"No. He's back at the house-"

"I'll walk you there." Tommy said, his voice leaving no room for arguing.

"Not sure Joel actually wants to see you." You pointed out, thinking back to when he had stormed out the bar.

"We talked. We're good now. C'mon."

You reluctantly nodded and followed him back to the house. He remained silent the entire walk, not asking any further questions. You were surprised he didn't try and ask who attacked you, but you had a suspicion that he already knew who it was, but he didn't say anything, and neither did you.

"Joel, you home?" Tommy called out, knocking on the front door before simply opening it and walking in without waiting for a response.

You walked in after him just as Joel came down the stairs with a rather confused look on his face at the presence of his brother.

It was easy to pinpoint the exact moment he noticed your busted up face. Those brown eyes widened, mimicking Tommy's from earlier as he descended the stairs and rushed over to you without saying a word.

Joel lifted his hand and hooked his index finger under your chin, tilting your head up to the side to get a better look at the damage.

He mustn't like what he saw though because his eyes hardened and frown deepened.

"Who did it?" He demanded.

"It's okay. It doesn't matter-"

"No. Who the hell hurt you? Was it that guy from KC? I swear to God, I'm gonna-"

"Joel, I said it's okay."

"It's not okay-"

"Yes. It is." You sighed having no energy to fight him as you grabbed his hand and lowered it from your face. "Don't worry about it."

You walked past, trying to ignore the concerned look he was giving you. You weren't used to him caring about you, it was strange. A few months ago, he practically hated you and now... well, you didn't know what to make of those worried brown eyes.

You closed the bathroom door behind yourself and turned to face the mirror. It wasn't as bad as you thought it was. The skin around your left eye was starting to bruise along with a patch across your jaw that was bright red and would be bruised by morning.

"What happened?" You heard Joel ask from the other room.

"Not sure. I was walking down the street and I saw her..." Tommy trailed off, not finishing the sentence.

"Saw her what?"

"She was taunting Mark... riling him up. It was like she wanted him to hurt her and then... Jesus Christ, Joel, she didn't fight back, didn't try to run, nothing."

Shit. You were hoping Tommy hadn't heard or noticed that. Of course, he did though and of course he told Joel. Damnit.

You leant your hands against the bathroom sink, staring at your reflection while you waited for Joel's response, but whatever he said was too faint for you to hear from upstairs.

Henry would be so disappointed in you for what you just did. He used to hate it when you got hurt on the job working for FEDRA, let alone purposely getting hurt in a fight. He would be ashamed of you, and that thought alone should make your heart ache, but all you could feel was numbness.

You pressed against the reddening skin along your jaw to feel something. But the dull pain from the bruise wasn't helping as much as you hoped it would.

A knock on the bathroom door made you jump, and you quickly lowered your hand from the bruise like you had just been caught doing something bad.

"Y/N?" Joel called out from behind the door.

You grabbed hold of the bench, taking in a deep breath to calm yourself.

He knocked again, "hey, can you open the door?"

Reluctantly, you reached over and yanked on the door handle, pulling the bathroom door open. Joel stood in the hallway, his arms folded across his chest with an unreadable look on his face.

"Why'd you do it?"

"Do what?" You sighed, glancing over at him.

"Don't. Don't play dumb. You know what I'm talking about. Why did you want Mark to hurt you?"

You looked away, not wanting to answer that question because if you were being honest, you weren't entirely sure of the answer yourself. Did you want Mark to kill you back there? Maybe. You weren't going to stop him if he tried. But you did want him to hit you again. That pain, it made you feel something, something other than the numbness inside. You wanted it. You needed that pain, but how were you meant to say that to Joel? He wouldn't understand, and you didn't expect him to.

"Earlier out in the snow when Mark had that gun to your head, why did you tell him to pull the trigger?" Joel eventually asked when he realised that you weren't going to answer his other question.

You tilted your head up, your eyes locking with his beautiful brown ones. He looked almost sad as he stared at you, and you hated it. He shouldn't be sad because of you. He shouldn't care about you.

"I think you know why." You whispered, feeling tears starting to rise in your eyes, but you forced them back.

Joel sighed, "yeah. I do."

Neither of you said anything for a while as you averted your gaze and stared at the bathroom sink, willing your tears to stay away. You had cried enough in the shower to last a lifetime and you didn't want Joel to see you cry either.

"You still have that bullet?" He questioned, not elaborating but you knew what he was talking about.

You nodded, pulling it out your pocket and placing it on the bathroom bench for Joel to see. He stared at the golden bullet for a while a wave of different emotions flashing across his face, but they were gone before you could place them.

He reached forward picking up the bullet before he leant against the doorframe, twirling it around in his fingers.

"Do you know how I got this scar?" He randomly asked, pointing to the pink scar above his temple and you shook your head. "I got shot."

"Good thing the person had shitty aim." You responded, not really knowing what else to say.

Joel stared down at the bullet in his hand before he said, "it was me."

You paused, thinking you had heard him wrong, and Joel looked back over at you when you didn't respond and saw your confusion before elaborating.

"I was the guy who had shitty aim."

Oh. Oh.

You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. Joel really tried to shoot himself?

For a moment, you thought he was joking, but the serious look on his face was enough to show that he wasn't. He really did it. Holy shit.

"What happened?" You asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Joel sighed, placing the bullet back down on the bench before folding his arms across his chest. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, contemplating what to say and you didn't rush him. He would speak when he was ready, and if you tried to push, he might change his mind about telling you all together.

"I had a daughter." He suddenly said, sparing a glance at you through the bathroom mirror before looking away. "Sarah. Her name was Sarah."

He paused again, lost in thought.

Joel's protectiveness and sometimes harshness to Ellie was starting to make sense. When you first met him, he was trying to keep the girl at arm's length, almost as if he was scared to let her get close. But sometime over the past few months that is exactly what happened.

"She died.... she died in my arms right at the start of it all. And I couldn't see the point anymore, simple as that." He continued to say, his words hitting close to home. "And I wasn't scared either. I was ready. I couldn't have been more ready. But, when I- when I went to pull the trigger... I flinched. Still don't know why, but I did."

You hadn't noticed the tears in your eyes had started to fall until you caught a glance of yourself in the mirror, and you hastily wiped them away. Joel caught your gaze through the mirror, his sad brown eyes locking with yours.

"Anyway, the point of telling you all this is... I get it. Sarah was my world, and I know Henry and Sam were yours. So, I get it." He simply said, nodding to the bullet on the bench. "I... I struggled for a long time with survivin'. But, no matter what, you keep findin' somethin' to fight for."

His words hit you hard, and you didn't know how to respond.

Joel remained silent, letting you process everything he had just said, but how were you meant to find something to fight for when the only two people you had spent your entire life fighting for and protecting were dead?

You swiped away the silent tears that continued to trickle down your face. You could feel Joel's eyes on you in the mirror because it was easier to look at each other during this emotional conversation through the mirror rather than normally. It didn't make sense, but it was true.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you flinched." You replied quietly.

He nodded, "me too."

"Does it get easier?"

"No." He answered honestly, and that was just perfect. Great. "But you do learn to live with the pain. I know that's not what ya wanted to hear, but it's the truth and you're not alone."

You sighed, turning around and leaning you back against the bathroom sink as you glanced over at Joel properly instead of through the mirror. He tilted his head to the side, his eyes meeting yours.

"Why do you care? I'm no one to you." You responded, sounding a little harsher than what you intended.

"That ain't true."

"It is. I'm just the girl you got stuck with because you felt bad for me. I'm no one to you, Joel. So, why would you care about me? I mean, look at me, I'm a fucking mess. I'm broken. I'm-"

You didn't get to finish your sentence before Joel suddenly shortened the distance between the two of you and captured your lips with his, silencing you instantly.

It took a while for you to process what was happening, but then you were quickly kissing him back. The moment Joels tongue pressed your lower lip, you parted your mouth, welcoming him in. His tongue slipped inside your mouth, and you weren't surprised to taste the faint tinge of whiskey on him.

His hand came up cupping the back of your neck, the other sliding down to your waist as he pulled you closer, your chest pressed against his.

Finally, he pulled away, breathing heavily as he rested his forehead against yours. You kept your eyes closed, savouring the moment before a sudden horrible thought occurred to you.

"Whoa, wait, wait. What about your wife?" You quickly questioned, taking an instant step back.

"I don't have a wife."

You frowned, thinking back to what Tommy had said in the bar. "What about Tess?"

Joels face shut off at the mention of her name. You feared he was going to build the wall back up around him, the wall that you had managed to take down brick by brick without realising.

"She wasn't my wife." Joel eventually answered. "And she's dead."

"Oh, I'm sorry." You quickly apologised, now feeling like a total asshole for bringing up her name like that.

"It's okay." He shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal, but you could tell that it was. "I, uh, I'm gonna go to bed. I'll see ya in the mornin'."

You nodded, watching as he awkwardly turned around and walked out the bathroom. His footsteps descended down the stairs and once he was gone, you turned back to the mirror and stared at your reflection before shaking your head.

"What the hell are you doing, Y/N?" You whispered to yourself.

-

Next Chapter 

-

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[simmerandwrite]

Sink Into Me - 02 - mob!Steve Rogers x plus size! reader

Pairing: mob boss!Steve Rogers x plus size female reader

Summary: You were simply doing a good deed, pulling the handsome stranger out of the way when a car jumped the curb. Little did you know that the life you saved belonged to Steve Rogers, the Army veteran turned art dealer with connections to the Brooklyn crime syndicate.

Steve Rogers, who won’t stop calling you his guardian angel.

Steve Rogers, whose new goal in life just might be repaying his debt to you.

Steve Rogers, who isn’t shy until it comes to his feelings and will stop at nothing to keep you safe.

Chapters: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08

Wordcount: 6k

Warnings: canon level violence (series), body image issues (series), very brief mentions of animal abuse

Notes: hello! meet your friends - Maria Hill, Claire Temple and Wanda Maximoff. thank you all for being here and reading!! I appreciate your enthusiasm soooo much. things are :) about to get :) complicated :) if you see me out in the wild, my main blog is @simmerandcry​

---

The skyline view from the floor to ceiling windows had been the real selling point to Steve taking the penthouse apartment at his latest investment property. Truthfully, he had been growing tired of the brick walls of his old place, despite their aesthetic charm. The new renters could live with that red dust now.

But the view into both Brooklyn and downtown towards Manhattan made him feel like he was exactly where he needed to be. Like he was on top of the world, his own little empire carved out in the heart of the borough. Most importantly, his apartment was his home. And that meant work didn’t come home with him, ever.

He drew that line very cleanly, even leaving the second bedroom fully intact as a guest room instead of converting to an office. Because this is where he needed to clear his head, to be Steve Rogers, the plain and simple Brooklyn born boy who loved his city.

Steve Rogers, the war veteran turned real estate mogul and art dealer, who sat at the top of what remained of an old Irish crime syndicate - that man worked on the streets, in the office, in his clubs and galleries and restaurants. That shit was not supposed to come home with him.

Though recently, it seemed to have started to bleed into what little time he spent at home. Mainly because of you and the whole incident outside the restaurant.

“Well, what’s the plan?”

“I already told you, Buck. I’m not retaliating.”

Bucky Barnes, Steve’s right hand man, his oldest friend and main confidant, the literal fist and brawn behind their organization, scoffed. “Someone sent an amateur barrelling into our territory to try and pin you between the hood of a car and your new restaurant - and you don’t want to retaliate? We coulda been weeping over your body right now, Steve.”

“I can recognize an act of aggression when I see it, I’m not an idiot.” Steve tipped his rocks glass against his lips once more, the scent of scotch lingering as he stood from the couch. “We don’t know if it was Rumlow or that new idiot creeping in from Staten Island.”

Steve rolled his eyes and cut off Bucky before he tried to add in his two cents again. “And if someone wanted to kill me, they wouldn’t hit me with a car. You know what. This was some stupid message that was poorly planned and equally poorly executed.”

Sam Wilson, who had been sipping his own concoction from the kitchen table, finally looked up from his phone and piped in. “I mean, I hate to admit it but Bucky is right. You would have been dead if it wasn’t for that beautiful woman saving your ass.”

“Sam.” Steve turned his head, eyes narrowed in a pointed glare. 

“What? I’m not blind. The hips on her were-”

Steve took another step towards his friend and trusted colleague, who had a particularly loud mouth and a flair for getting on Steve’s nerves, and held up a steady hand. “Stop.”

He wasn’t inclined to admit it, but the entire thing had been replaying in Steve’s minds for days now. Ever since you had saved him on that sidewalk, throwing yourself into a dangerous situation for him, a total stranger, something had changed. He was still living, breathing, surviving. And although he was dead set on figuring out just who was driving that vehicle and ensuring they paid for their actions, it was you he couldn’t stop thinking about.

You. Who had been in the right place at the right time, who had risked your own personal safety to make sure he didn’t get hit, who was insistent that it had been an act of good faith, a simple act of kindness. 

You, with the kind smile and generous curves. You, who swept off your actions as innocent and selfless, concerned more about the happiness of your dog than your own well being. You, who left Steve feeling curious and longing to get to know you, to make you smile, to hear you laugh.

God, what he wouldn’t give to have someone like you in his life. While he couldn’t stop thinking about the kind of person you were, he also had your face playing over and over again in his mind too. It didn’t help that his mom called him a few days ago, asking how you were doing and reiterating how much she enjoyed talking to you and…

“Still no news from Hammond?”

Steve knew Bucky couldn’t help but prodding, as if his fingers were itching to find a quick, efficient solution. 

“He said their tech department is behind. I’m inclined to believe him but my insisting this is a priority hasn’t been successful this time. I’m trying to play nice.” Steve gritted his teeth, finishing the last sip of his drink as he stood, tugging on the lapel of his suit. “So I asked Stark to help instead. We’re meeting him at the club.”

 ---

The only good thing about your dreadful basement apartment was the private patio space in the backyard. You had high hopes for it when you rented the garden level unit but once your lease had been signed, everything about the place seemed a lot less shiny. From the shared laundry with the loud, obnoxious upstairs apartment to the inconsistent water pressure and flickering lights, you were counting down the days until your lease was over.

But the backyard - you had done what you could to make it a safe oasis for you and Hercules, with a few pieces of thrifted outdoor furniture and string lights making it a bit more magical. It was a nice location when hosting your girlfriends, especially when such a thing happened so rarely now that your schedules seemed to conflict all the time.

You were so grateful to have your girls. Because at any moment, they all loved to share their opinions on the weird chaos that seemed to stir up in your life. While you had known Maria since college, you had collected Wanda and Claire into your life since starting your new job in the city. You had worked as a server at the same restaurant as Wanda a few summers ago and Claire, an ER nurse, had dropped into your life by chance one night when you were stood up on a date at a bar in Hell’s Kitchen. Your group had been solid since then - although girls nights were few and far between now, with jobs and the general grind of life making it hard to get together often.

“I’m not saying the man isn’t attractive. Because I have eyes,” Maria was on her third glass of sangria, legs extended out on the brick patio outside. “I just have no reason to trust him.” She squinted down at her phone screen. “What did he say he did for work again?”

You sighed. Perhaps it was a mistake to share Steve’s name and photo - that you found after an extensive internet search - with your friends, but you valued their perspectives. It’s not like anything had happened with the guy. You hadn’t seen him since that day you saved his life and hadn’t communicated either, outside of you emailing him the stupid photo you took.

You had added his number to your phone, though. Just in case. Just in case what? You had no clue. But he had written it down for you and all.

And he said he owed you a thousand favours…

Officer Hammond, though, had reached out to you a few days after the event - asking you to come in and try and ID the driver in a police lineup. It made you feel a bit uncomfortable but you supposed it was your civic duty to do it, if it could help stop this from happening again or to help in delivering justice for wrongdoing. You pointed out the person you best recognized from your blurry memory and moved on, trying not to think any further about the situation.

Although a few strange things seemed to happen since then, if you just used your head it could all be justified. Like seeing the same black, unfamiliar SUV on your street multiple times this week. That was probably just a new vehicle belonging to one of your neighbours.

And that one time you were walking Hercules and a stranger who seemed to be lingering outside your apartment asked to borrow your phone.

Which you promptly said no to, because you aren’t dumb enough to let someone run off with your phone. But instead of going inside with Herc, you continued to circle the block until the blond stranger disappeared. You wouldn’t consider your neighbourhood the safest place after dark, but in the daytime you never felt concerned. 

It was all just sort of weird. 

But completely unrelated to anything else, you were sure. 

That was all behind you now anyway, a strange footnote in the chapter of your life that was playing out. You’d probably never have to see Steve again, though he had crossed your mind a few times…

Okay, you had been thinking about him a lot. Which is why you had told your three closest friends about everything that had occurred.

You replied to Maria, who was nudging you with her elbow. “Oh. Uhm, he works in real estate, I think. He owns an art gallery and some apartments. Oh, and that club on Morgan Ave - Shield .”

“Sounds like a professional landlord. Thumbs down.” Claire chimed in from her chair too, shaking her head and dismissing the entire concept of Steve with a wave of her hand. “Rich at best, financially questionable at worst.”

“And he owns that restaurant the car smashed into?” Maria reached for her own phone. “The one owned by the mob. Okay, that settles it - he’s in the mob then.”

You laughed and shook your head. “The mob isn’t a thing, Hill. What’s your source on that again?” 

Wanda shrugged and finally chimed in, fingers tapping idly against her wine glass as she turned towards you. “Describe his aura to me.”

You groaned, smirking as Claire rolled her eyes with a heavy sigh. “His aura?”

“You know, what kind of energy did he have?”

“Is that your way of determining the kind of person he is?” Maria got up from her chair to toss a small toy for Hercules to chase after. “I’d love to know the science between your aura theories, Wan.”

You delayed answering by grabbing the nearby bowl of popcorn and cradling it in your lap, leaving your phone and the thought of Steve on the small crate that sat between you and your friends. “He was very confident.” How could you do any justice to Steve’s intimidating Big Dick Energy without admitting your attraction to him? That last thing you wanted to do was bait your friends with any material to tease you with. Plus, really, it didn’t matter. You had no plans to ever see Steve again. And AND and, even if you did, what made you think it would be romantic in any way? 

Steve was beyond hot - from the trimmed beard and deep blue eyes, to his easy charm and well dressed body. You had no doubt in your mind that the man probably had some equally hot partner. If not, he could have his pick of the entire city. There was no way you would be on his radar.

“I don’t know,” Maria chimed in once more, clapping her hands quickly. “This is the wildest meet cute story I’ve ever heard. If the man is so willing to do you some favours, maybe you should cash in on it, mob be damned. You know what they say about tall guys..”

“You just said you don’t trust him!” You laughed, tossing a piece of popcorn at her.

Maria just scooped it up and popped it into her mouth with a shrug. “I don’t trust any man. I trust you and your judge of character, though. Plus, you haven’t been on a date in forever so maybe this was some sort of fate driven happenstance.”

“The universe does work in weird ways,” Wanda agreed. “And you said he really filled out that suit so…”

“You should text him!” Claire sat up tall and straight, pushing her hair over one shoulder as an idea formulated in her brain. You were nervous. “I think how he reacts to a sudden text will be a perfect test.”

“It’s a Saturday night, I can’t text him! And a test of what? All I did was save the man’s life, there is nothing else to..” This was not how you wanted this to go. The last logical thing you could think of doing right now was messaging Steve Rogers anything. What would he think if you texted him out of nowhere on a Saturday night? “What would I even say?”

“Here, allow me.” Maria plucked your phone off the table and damnit, why did you ever tell her your passcode? 

“Maria-”

“It’ll be harmless, I promise!” She glanced up from your phone and opened her eyes wide. “You need to stop playing safe. What’s the worst that could happen? He doesn’t reply?”

You sighed. YES. The fear of rejection crept up like a weird pain in your chest. “Yeah, I guess. He might think it’s a wrong number or some sort of spam message...”

“Then no harm, no foul.” Her grin grew even wider as she typed something out on the screen. She took a deep breath. You leaned over to see what she had crafted together and sighed. “It’s just a simple little push..”

 ---

Normally Steve would ignore then block an unfamiliar phone number, but this had been intriguing. Given that you hadn’t reached out to him at all, he had tried not to give much of his time to thinking about you. But when the text came in, without a lot of context or forewarning, he figured it was a small gamble to see how it could play out.

Unknown number [10:47PM]: hey, I need to cash in a favour S Rogers [10:49PM]: who is this? Unknown number [10:51PM]: 👀 🍑 🎁 🔄 🥞 S Rogers [10:55PM]: am I supposed to just guess what this means? Unknown number [10:59PM]: yes ;) S Rogers [11:02P:M]: it’ll be easier if you just tell me what you want, angel ;)

You hadn’t struck Steve as the type to flirt like this. If it was you, of course. He could really only safely assume, considering only a certain number of people had his phone number. And now, he finally had yours.

Tony had consolidated all the info he could find about you earlier that week. Steve didn’t feel great about asking Tony to dig into you, but since he had sent your picture for analysis after the delay at the police station, it sort of just happened. Frankly, Tony said your online presence was minimal. You were smart about keeping your social media secure and had a very thorough CV on LinkedIn. Otherwise, he didn’t have much information that you hadn’t already shared. And Steve had no intentions of doing anything suspicious with any of it, it just helped him understand who he had invited into a small corner of his life.

If that’s what he could call it. But you had crossed his mind over and over, and it didn’t help that Bucky kept bringing you up. Especially the part about Steve taking you to the clinic for help from Sarah. That resource was a well kept secret in their family and the fact that Steve took you there had been a big risk.

Beyond Steve’s unavoidable racing thoughts about you, he had been deep into a plan to deal with the actual problem - the group of idiots spilling into his Brooklyn territory. Tony had helped him with that too, finding names and dossiers on everyone who belonged to Rumlow’s extended Stryke gang causing a mess in the boroughs between Queens and Brooklyn. 

For years, Steve had worked hard to make a respectable reputation for himself and now things were getting shaky. And it annoyed the shit out of him, especially when a few of the names Tony pulled were on the NYPD payroll.

“It’s messy,” Tony had said with a shrug, leaning back into the leather seat from their place at the top of the club. 

Another property on Steve’s growing list - Shield was a popular nightclub in Brooklyn, which served as a perfect location for arms deals and financial transactions to float. For Steve and his old friend, tech mogul Tony Stark, it was a safe place to share theories and secrets. The upper level served as a secure hideout from the general population while the downstairs dance floor catered to obnoxious crowds looking for a drink or something else to roll on. 

It was lucrative for Steve, to say the least. 

“Let me know if you want me to get Rhodes involved.”

Steve shook his head. “He’s got enough on his plate. Is he ready for the campaign announcement?” Steve had a serious interest in the upcoming Mayoral election, especially if James Rhodes, former DA, planned on running. And with Tony bankrolling the campaign and some additional under the table support from Steve, it was going to be a shoe in.

“Oh, we’re just getting started, big guy,” Tony stood up and patted Steve on the shoulder as he left the corner area, flitting off in search of whoever might be going home with him soon enough. 

Usually that would be Steve’s next step too, but damnit, if he couldn’t stop glancing at his phone for a response from you. Maybe calling you ‘angel’ again had been out of line. He contemplated sending another message, but no, he had to wait. He knew how to play this game.

The rest of the night carried on, with certain reports popping in with updates for Steve on what was happening out on the streets. Things like confirmed shipments at the dock and successful cash pickups. He had eyes across the whole of Brooklyn, with his growing syndicate working beneath him. Things mostly operated smoothly and this night was carrying on as normal.

Bucky showed up eventually, grumbling about getting turned down by some smart mouthed girl outside the club. Sam corroborated the story, lauding the woman and her tone. 

Steve checked his phone, again. 

“I saw Sharon downstairs,” Sam nudged Steve, eyebrows raised curiously. “Unless you’re off again-”

“We’re permanently off-again,” Steve rolled his eyes. “You have my blessing if you want to pursue, Sam. But good luck, don’t say I didn’t warn you..” That was all Sam needed apparently, finishing off his glass and heading back down to the dance floor below. Steve didn’t miss his cheeky grin.

“You’re thinking about that girl again, huh?” Bucky nodded and tried to hide his mischievous smirk as he scanned Steve’s face.

Steve scoffed. “No, no. I’m not..” 

Bucky laughed, hard and incredulous. “I haven’t seen your head in the clouds like this in ages. Since whatsername in high school, maybe. What was her name?”

Then as if by some weird shift in the universe, Steve’s phone started to buzz. He left Bucky’s commentary lingering as he looked at the screen. You. 

Ah, no text reply but a phone call? Okay, he could get on board. Standing, he headed a few steps from the lounge and brought his phone up to his ear, with a small smile. “Rogers.”

The first thing he heard was your frightened yelling. “Leave me alone! Jesus - oh my god, Steve? Is this Steve?”

He said your name quickly to confirm who he was speaking too but raised his eyebrows in concern. “What’s going on?”

“Someone is trying to - HEY! Stop -” Steve could hear banging in the background. “--trying to break into my fuckin - I’m going to CALL THE COPS! Leave me alone! Please, just..” 

Steve closed his eyes, doing his best to focus on the background noise. Behind your defensive yelling and the attentive reactions of your dog, there was a mixture of other voices. Something about the voices felt familiar. 

“We just want to talk.. Did someone offer you something for that statement? Was it Rogers?”

“If you tell Hammond you got the wrong guy, this will all be over very quickly, honey.”

“Walker, move, let me – Open the door, or we’ll open it for you. Let’s talk..”

“He didn’t offer me - Stop, please! I swear I -”

Steve nearly crushed his phone when the call dropped. He was off like a bullet train, shouting for Bucky to follow him as he pushed past his security guards on the stairs and rushed down towards the back exit of the club. He tried to call you back as he sped through traffic, blatantly bypassing stop signs and treating red lights like suggestions. 

A heavy twisting feeling in Steve’s gut had told him that the aftermath of this entire situation wasn’t going to go smoothly. Especially with dumbass dirty cops on the inside who could share information to the highest bidder.

Steve felt a new responsibility to keep you safe, until this whole mess had been taken care of. He had plans to deal with it all on his own but now, if he hadn’t acted quickly enough and something had happened to you.. God, he couldn’t live with himself. How could he explain that to his mother?

He got to your apartment first, hoping Bucky was close behind. Steve didn’t know what he might be walking into but having backup was never a bad idea.

Steve had not only visited but had also lived in a lot of seedy neighbourhoods over the years. The street you lived on didn’t strike him as anything especially dangerous, but that thought enough couldn’t squash the unsettled feeling in his stomach as he approached. He pushed his way through the small metal gate beside the front stairs, towards the door to your garden level apartment.

His jaw clenched when he saw the damage to your door, clearly kicked in with plenty of force before being shoved closed. He glanced to the front window, nearby - that had been smashed, too. He tried to contain the growing fury and pressed on the door, calling out your name as he made his way inside.

As someone more than familiar with the real estate market, Steve could tell the bones of your apartment weren’t in the best shape. The entire townhouse was in desperate need of updating. But what concerned him more, outside of the low ceiling and old light fixtures, was what he could only assume was a new mess. Your coffee table had been smashed, creating a pile of kindling in your tiny living room. Papers were thrown about, a coffee cup sat shattered on the floor. 

He called your name again as he went in, reaching inside his jacket to pull out his concealed handgun as he listened carefully. Once he stepped into the hallway leading to your tiny kitchen, he took a step back at the sudden lurch of your dog heading in his direction.

Then Steve heard your quiet voice. The dog retreated into the kitchen, planting himself in front of you as Steve turned to look in. His heart sank.

You were seated on the floor, back pressed against the wall. It was clear you were trying to hide, make yourself small. And was that… some sort of steak knife in your hand? When you finally looked up at him, your eyes were wide.

When you tried to press yourself even further back, eyeing down the gun in Steve’s hand, he slowly put it down on the counter and said your name. “Hey, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was just a precaution.” Shit. The way you reacted to the gun wasn’t a surprise but it made Steve even angrier. Whoever had been here, whoever had done this, well, they probably had guns too. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” Steve crouched down, keeping his distance while Hercules acted as your bodyguard. He was trying everything in his power to maintain his composure but god fucking damnit, Steve needed to know who did this and he needed to deal with it. “Are you hurt?”

You took in a deep breath then just shrugged, relaxing just a fraction when Hercules circled around and flopped down to rest his head on your knee. “There were two guys, they had.. They had guns with them. They said they just wanted to talk to me, to … they kept talking about whoever the guy was who drove that SUV.” Your breath picked up as you recounted what had happened. “They..they smashed my phone and..” Slowly, you moved your hand up towards your neck, gently dragging your fingers against the tender skin on your collarbone. “..One guy he..” You winced at the memory.

The heat grew more and more in his stomach as he saw you shaking with fear, recounting whatever the fuck had just happened. How dare any of those fucking imbeciles lay their hand on you? And because of him? If he wasn’t sure of his next steps before, he was going to figure them out now. Because someone needed to pay for this.

His phone buzzed. He stood up and saw a message from Bucky, wondering if Steve needed his help inside. Steve took a step back, turning towards the front door.

“Don’t go,” you pleaded quietly, letting your hand linger in the air as you reached for him. “Steve, please..”

Steve stopped and turned back to you, giving his head a firm shake. “Sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere.” 

---

A few hours ago you were saying goodbye to your friends as your sangria pitcher finally ran dry. And now? You and Hercules were in an elevator with Steve and his friend Bucky, heading to Steve’s apartment.

Everything that had just happened felt like a bit of a dream - a bad dream. A break in at your own apartment, being intimidated, harassed and assaulted by men with guns, zipping through Brooklyn with Steve as he promised you a safe space to stay for the night.

You didn’t say much to each other once you had left, but you could see the twist of concern and small decisions Steve started to make to ensure you felt secure. A hand at your back, a soft smile, extra attention being given to Hercules to make sure he was okay, too.

You hadn’t gotten into much detail yet but you knew Steve wanted to figure out who the men were who had done this. You were already dreading talking about it again. And god, you likely had another police experience coming your way. What was happening in your life and how could it go back to normal again?

“Hey,” Steve tipped his head towards the door as the elevator opened. You took the lead as you stepped out into the hallway, where just a small handful of apartment doors were spread out. 

Steve’s building was a place you could only daydream about living in. You followed him through the door to his apartment, checking over your shoulder to see Bucky guiding Hercules behind you. 

Bucky was incredibly kind to you throughout this whole thing, especially back at your apartment. He had patiently directed you as Steve made some phone calls, carefully standing outside your room as you packed a quick overnight bag. And he was very taken to Hercules, which you really appreciated. 

Once inside Steve’s place, you made your way into the living room just past the foyer. Steve and Bucky moved into the kitchen briefly, exchanging a few hushed sentences out of your earshot. 

When they joined you in the living room, they found you crouched down on the floor with Hercules. You tipped your head up to look at them. Bucky’s gaze was on his phone but Steve was watching you with a soft smile. 

“Do you think he’ll be okay here tonight?” Steve took a knee on the other side of Hercules, slowly reaching his hand out to scratch behind his ear. 

You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling, just a bit, as you nodded. “Yeah, he’s pretty easy going usually.” As if on cue, your dog nudged his head against Steve’s hand for one more quick pet then trotted further into the living room, flopping down on the rug between the couch and windows. “All his adrenaline seems to have worn off.”

And so it seemed had yours.

A few minutes later you were sitting on the couch, with Steve planted in the chair across from you and Bucky standing over his shoulder, arms crossed. Steve leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he took you in. 

God, even in the low light of his living room, the man was handsome. Wearing just a navy blazer and matching dress pants, over a black button up with no tie, he managed to look effortlessly intimidating and strangely welcoming. Like you had no reason not to trust him, as if the dark shadows behind his eyes were a sign of protection instead of a signal of something to be feared.

You took in a long breath and leaned back into the couch.

Steve dragged his tongue over his lips then let out a sharp breath. “Okay, so I need you to walk me through exactly what happened.”

You knew this was coming. The moment Steve insisted on not calling the cops, something shifted for you. This whole situation had escalated beyond what you were used to, that whomever these men were to Steve - it probably wasn’t good. 

But when you looked over at Steve, as much as you wanted to shake with worry about what might happen next, you couldn’t. Despite being way out of your comfort zone, scared out of your mind, coming down from your own rush of adrenaline, you weren’t scared. Not anymore, not in his presence and under the additional watchful eye of his right hand man.

And so you told him and Bucky exactly what had happened. How your girlfriends had left, how you were finding the next episode of your favourite show to watch, how you had some writing to catch up on and planned on staying up late. Then you heard a noise outside, then a knock at your door.

Then… well, then you had called Steve when everything started unfolding.

And after the men managed to get beyond the door and push their way through to you, you had nowhere to hide. Once they smashed your phone, you were going to comply and do whatever they needed to, to get them out of your home but then one of them threatened Hercules, and even kicked him-

“Jesus,” Bucky muttered, teeth clenched. Before he could get his true feelings out, Steve held up his hand and had you continue.

“I shoved the guy who was closest to me, trying to go for the other idiot before he hurt Herc and then..” You closed your eyes, going into vague details about how the man pushed you back, how he shoved you into the wall, the kitchen counter. How he pulled out his gun and put his hand around your throat and..

When you opened your eyes again, taking in the silence of the room as you trailed off, Steve was watching you carefully. Though you safely assumed he was an expert at hiding his emotions, you could see a twitch in his jaw. His fists rested on his knees, clenched and turning white with tension.

“One of them got a phone call and I guess they were beckoned to leave. They had enough time to make more of a mess while I cowered away but..” You gulped, shaking your head. “What if they come back? I think I should just call Officer Hammond and-”

“No.” Steve stood up, taking barely a stride to make his way towards the couch. He took a seat beside you, extending his hand to ever so gently cradle your jaw, turning your head to look at him. He said your name softly, barely.. “I’m going to take care of this.”

Your safe feeling was depleting and as much as you wanted to argue, to put a stop to all of this, to do it the correct way, you couldn’t. Earlier, when the threat was outside your door, you didn’t think of calling the police. It was Steve who had crossed your mind. For some unknown reason, you had a feeling he would help you. 

Steve pulled his hand away and stood again, shooting a glance to his friend. 

Bucky cleared his throat, taking a step forward. “Doll, can you tell me what the guys looked like? Identifying features?” 

You wanted to ask a thousand questions about what happened now, about what Bucky was planning on doing, about his metal arm and lack of hesitation to help Steve. But you just played along, delivering all the details you could. Once you repeated it all and answered a few of his questions, you sat up and leaned forward. “Oh. One of them went by Walker. I’m not sure if that’s a first name or..”

“Last name.” Bucky gave one nod before muttering out a tired laugh. “That fucking moron.” He looked at Steve. “Okay, I know where to go. Nat’s gonna meet me downstairs.”

Steve followed him to the door and you could hear their quiet conversation once more. 

Twisting your hands together, you sat on the couch with your thoughts. You couldn’t believe how your night had played out. Really, if you thought about the last week of your life you’d be hard pressed to believe it was real life. How could the simple act of getting a person out of harm’s way lead to this?

When you heard Steve’s footsteps heading back towards you, after the door shut behind Bucky, you stood up and looked at him. 

Okay, you had to ask. Because a lot of this felt nonsensical, impossible even.

“You don’t really work in real estate, do you?” With the most courage you could muster you met his gaze, which was stoic as he watched you. “My friend Maria had this crazy theory and.. I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into here, Steve. But this isn’t… I just did the right thing and saved you from being hit by a car and.. Now what? People with guns are breaking into my home and threatening my dog? And instead of going to the police.. I’m right here in your apartment - with you, a kind, handsome stranger who keeps offering to help and take care of me and I just don’t get it. Is this real?”

He didn’t falter or let his facade break when you spiraled. Instead, he motioned towards his kitchen. “Would you like a cup of tea?”

You sat with a steaming mug of chamomile at Steve’s kitchen island. His kitchen felt impressively Steve somehow too, with dark granite counters and cool grey tones decorating the tall cabinets. The light blue kettle that sat on his stove somehow humanized him even more though. 

Steve opted to lean against the counter, shrugging off his suit jacket as he met your eyes. “So. First, let me just say - I don’t want you to feel like I brought you here for any other reason than keeping you safe tonight. I want you to feel safe here, with me. But if you don’t feel comfortable, you can leave. I will put you up in a hotel somewhere or if you have a friend you can stay with-”

You swallowed hard and brought your hand up. “No, that’s not.. I’m sorry for, uhm, going off a bit there. I just..” You left your mug on the island and leaned forward, balancing your chin on your hand while your elbow propped you up. You matched his gaze, somehow both honest and shy. “In college, my friends and I did this thing called honesty hour. Usually after a really late night or when we were a bit drunk. But the point is to be as honest as possible, but gentle, I guess. Feelings were always at risk but if it was after 2am, it was honesty only.”

A small smirk tugged at Steve’s lips as he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. “Okay.”

“So. Honesty hour.” You nodded.

“What do you want to know?”

“Do you always carry a gun?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“There are often dangerous, poorly- intentioned people in my line of work.”

You narrowed your eyes, pausing to take a small sip from your mug. “Your line of work - in real estate and art gallery ownership?”

Steve let out a quiet laugh. “The scope of my day to day work goes well beyond that.”

God, you had so many other questions but you had a feeling Steve was not going to share any details with you. Maybe it was better that way for both of you. Because answering some of your questions might ruin everything. “Would you rather I not ask about that? Your.. full scope?”

“I don’t think it qualifies for your honesty hour, no.”

You were ready to counter with something but you figured it wasn’t worth pushing his buttons. After another big breath, you closed your eyes. “Do you think those guys are going to show up again? At my apartment?”

The mug that had been resting in Steve’s hand found a careful spot on the counter. He took a big step forward and leaned onto the island opposite you.

Your name left his lips. You opened your eyes.

“I promise they won’t.” It was clear some things were being left unsaid, hidden behind his reassuring smile. His hand landed on yours as it rested on the table. “Trust me when I say I’ll never let that sort of thing happen again.” You looked from him, focusing on the warmth in his eyes and how his palm felt against your skin and…

“My turn.” Steve ran his thumb over the top of your hand, as if searching for the softest spot. “You called me. How come?”

You had never been so grateful to hear someone’s phone ring, because you did not want to answer that question. He tried to ignore it but the buzzing in his pocket filled in the quiet that lingered between you. Just like that, whatever that moment was or could have been - vanished. He gave you an apologetic glance as he stepped away. 

You sipped on your tea, feeling more and more run down by this whole situation. You were tired, finally and Steve’s big sweeping statements gave you some peace of mind. You trusted him, that was the only thing you were certain about. 

Despite everything, including the silly rumours from Maria and the broken remains of your apartment on the other side of Brooklyn… There was something about Steve that made you feel okay about all of this.

But the thought of talking any more about it now made your thoughts spiral out of control. Truthfully, you needed to sleep. And you really needed to talk all of this through in the group chat with the girls. You desperately wished your phone was still functioning.

Before you could even let your train of thoughts derail, you heard Hercules’ feet tapping against the floors in search of you. You took one final sip of your tea and met him in the living room. Your boy was ready for bed too.

You hesitated though, glancing from him to the door. He looked that way too. Maybe it would be smart to take him out one more time before you headed to bed.

Steve found you near the door and reached his hand out to stop you before you could even grab your coat. “Hey. I can take him out, if you want to get ready for bed.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Please, I insist.” He grabbed Hercules’ leash from the small entry table and rested his hand on your shoulder. “I’ve been thinking about adopting a dog for months now so this is a nice reminder about responsibilities.” 

Steve’s genuine smile was unmatched and, well, Hercules just looked excited for one last moment of fresh air. “Okay, fine. For your own research purposes. Thanks Steve.”

He waved his hand and pulled on a coat from the hanging rack. “The guest room is just down there.” With his free hand he pointed down the hall behind you. “First door on the right. Bathroom across the hall.”

The minute Steve was outside the door with Hercules, you made your way to the bedroom. You nearly gasped when you opened the door, considering the space was practically the same size as your entire apartment. And god, the view from the windows. A full floor to ceiling piece of glass illuminated Brooklyn below.

The bathroom was just as impressive. After finding a fluffy towel and figuring out how the shower and faucet functioned, you let yourself get consumed by the water. Though you felt far past your breaking point, you held back your tears. Yes, the entire night behind you had been a rollercoaster. And yes, you were nervous about what tomorrow was going to bring.

But you were safe. That’s all that mattered.

--

Chapter 01 - Chapter 03

[jessicanjpa]

Here is your Twilight Advent Calendar for 2023!

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

Instead of candy, here are some bite-sized headcanon prompts for each day throughout December 1–25. Each one is simple enough to answer with a quick headcanon post, but your ficlets, fan art, and moodboards will add some extra sparkle!

You can answer each prompt on its day or schedule your posts ahead of time. The tag is #twilightadvent23.

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Dec. 1 - Who is Rosalie's favorite vampire friend outside of the Cullens? What does she like to do with them?

Dec. 2 - What is Emmett's favorite board game or card game? How has he modified it to be more challenging?

Dec. 3 - Pick one deceased Twilight character to draw or tell us more about. How would the Twilight universe be different if they were still alive?

Dec. 4 - What does Sam like about being the alpha? What's difficult about it? And how does he feel post-BD1 about Jacob's new role?

Dec. 5 - What is each Cullen's favorite college major so far? What new major should they try someday?

Dec. 6 - What was it like for Eleazar to see the Volturi/his fellow guards again in Breaking Dawn?

Dec. 7 - Choose one Twilight couple (or an AU ship) and tell us about an argument they've had. How did they resolve it in the end?

Dec. 8 - What was it like for Jasper to train and fight in the Eclipse battle after so many years of peace?

Dec. 9 - What is it like for Carlisle to work as a doctor now versus back when he was alone?

Dec. 10 - Pick one of the witnesses in Breaking Dawn. What was it like for them to stay at the Cullens' home for those two weeks? Who did they spend time with?

Dec. 11 - Besides painting, what art forms does Esme enjoy? How do you imagine her art room/setup looks? (Fan artists, want to show us?)

Dec. 12 - What changes did the rest of the family see in Edward as he began to fall in love with Bella?

Dec 13 - What were Maria's thoughts when she heard about the gathering in Breaking Dawn?

Dec 14 - Tell us about an OC you like, either your own or someone else's. Include a drawing, moodboard, or playlist if you'd like to!

Dec 15 - Tell us about a point in the canon timeline where things could have easily gone in a different direction. How differently would things turn out in this AU?

Dec. 16 - How close do you think Charlie and Renée will come to knowing the whole story eventually?

Dec. 17 - What do your favorite Volturi guards do for fun/hobbies?

Dec. 18 - What are some things the Cullens do every time they move? Does anyone have any rituals re: leaving a location or starting at a new one?

Dec. 19 - Tell us some headcanons about a Twilight character you don't usually post about. Write a ficlet or include a sketch, moodboard, etc. if you like!

Dec. 20 - Headcanons for the summer between Twilight and New Moon (Bella/Edward or other characters)?

Dec. 21 - Pick any five characters. What's something they always carry with them?

Dec. 22 - What did Alice do to pass the time pre-1948?

Dec. 23 - What's one of your favorite scenes in Twilight (books or films) and why?

Dec. 24 - What Christmas/holiday gifts are your favorite characters exchanging this year?

Dec. 25 - For one of the Twilight vampires, tell us about a Christmas or winter memory from their human days.

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

Bonus for new year's eve - What resolutions are your favorite Twilight characters making for the new year?

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[itsthestutterforme]

“The Look of Love” 1/2 (Steve Rogers x ex!reader)

Summary: After Steve got back from D.C., he made a decision he would soon regret. Now he wants to try and out the pieces back together.

Prompt Credit @promptsforthestrugglingauthor : “Do you love me?” “Do you even have to ask?”

Notes: GIF is not mine, all mistakes are my own, story is set in Avengers: Age of Ultron, minors DNI

**

You clicked rewatch for the third time on your tv, settling back into the covers. You curled up into a ball and wrapped your blanket over your shoulders so only your head was peeking out. More tears continued to free fall when you feel your mind receding into the memories you and Steve shared.

You genuinely thought Steve was your person. And you thought you were his person, but you quickly realized that wasn’t the case. You had to be honest and say you stopped listening after he said, “I don’t think I’m good for you, Y/N.”

It made no sense, really. You thought things were going well. Sure him going on missions could be taxing in the relationship but you made it work. He always came back to you. But when he came back from D.C. after taking down SHIELD, he hasn’t been the same.

It was when the two of you hung out since D.C that he decided to break things off. He wasn’t himself but it wasn’t your place to ask anymore. But you hoped that he finds what he was looking for.

You heard a few knocks at the door and further snuggled into the covers. “Y/N, open the door. It’s Natasha,” her raspy voice calls from the door. “And Maria,” she adds. Letting out a sigh, you lifted from the bed and walked to the door. You closed your robe around your frame before opening the door.

“Oh sweetie,” Maria starts, pulling you in for a hug. Wrapping your arms around her, more tears blurred your visions and your throat burn the longer you held back your sobs. Natasha files in behind Maria and closes the door to your apartment. “I’m gonna kill him,” Natasha says, rubbing your back warmly.

“Please don’t. He isn’t a bad guy. He’s just going through something,” you croaked, sniffling occasionally. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer your texts. I just..” “You don’t have to explain yourself, Y/N. We understand,” Maria says once she pulls away.

“How you eaten anything today?” You shook your head no, causing your hair to shake under your bonnet. “Let’s get some food in your system first,” “Why? What’s wrong?” “Nothing is wrong. It’s just that Tony is having a party and he wanted to make sure you were still coming.” Maria explains.

“I’m sure he’s invited half of New York. Why does Tony care whether I go to his party?” “He wanted to make sure you knew you belonged with us, even if you’re not dating Steve.” Natasha states.

“He said that?” Tears swelled in your eyes and you huffed in annoyance. “I’m so tired of being emotional and crying over everything. I’m sorry.” You pressed your palm to your forehead and tried to take a deep breath.

“Hey, we got time. You don’t have to rush anything into anything. You know what? Who cares, we can all stay in.” Maria offers. “No, no. I’ll.. I’ll at least try to make it.” Natasha and Maria shared a look and Natasha opens the door back up again.

She reached down and pulled out a duffel bag with a gorgeous navy blue dress covered in a plastic wrap. “That’s what I was hoping you’d say,” she says, handing you the dress. “Guys, you didn’t have to get me a..” you trail off when you see Natasha purse her lips. “Tony got for me, didn’t he?”

“I would love to take credit for it, but yes. Say what you want about Tony, but he has taste.” Natasha says, making you chuckle. “You do have a point,” you took a closer look at the dress. “Is this Givenchy?” You asked, turning the dress around to face them. “Yes it is,” “I’m going to kill him,”

“Like I said, we have time so let’s get you some food first before we work our magic,”

**

“Do you still feel good about it?” Sam asks Steve when he racks the pool balls. “I never felt good about it. I didn’t even want to do it. I didn’t want to drag her along with everything that’s happened with Bucky. That’s not what she signed up for.” Steve explains. “So you didn’t want to break up with her?”

“No,” “Have you considered getting back together?” “I’ve been to her apartment a few times but then I hear her crying. And I don’t want to put her through any more pain.” Steve explain, running a hand over his face.

“As much as I want to fix it. I don’t know if I can.” He adds and Sam’s gaze falls to the new group that filed out of the elevator once it opened. “Well it looks like you have your chance,” he tilts his head behind Steve, causing him to turn around and see you with Natasha and Maria.

You were never one for taking revenge because you refused to indulge in pettiness. But it felt nice to have so many eyes on you. You continued to scan the room and you were about to make eye contact with Steve when Natasha grabbed your hand, leading you to the bar.

Steve inhale sharply as he takes all of you in. You’ve worn dresses before but none this revealing. The silk dress was a gorgeous, navy that almost matched the color of Steve’s shirt. You move to sit down on one of the stool and that’s when he noticed the dress was backless. The dress hugged your curves beautifully, outlining the body he used to run his hands over every morning before work.

Your senegalese twists trailed down your toned back just enough to cover the monarch butterfly tattoo you have on the center of your back. But the tattoo would reveal itself whenever you turned to look at Maria and Natasha when they were talking. You looked delectable. Steve thought to himself.

Steve’s jaw clenched when he noticed a group of men looking at you the same way he was. He had no right to feel any protectiveness towards you. You weren’t his anymore. You could talk to anyone you wanted. Flirt with anyone you wanted.

You were completely oblivious to it, on purpose if you might add. If you didn’t engage with anyone, they are less likely to approach you. Or so you thought, but the crowd that Tony runs with are very bold. And you’re not entirely sure if you liked that.

“Y/N!” Tony greets once he noticed you at the bar. He crossed the room to give you a hug and some of his friends followed. “Hi Tony. Thank you so much for the dress.” You said, standing from the stool and wrapping your arms around him. “Dresses are just a piece of fabric. This,” he gestures to your body, “Is all you,”

“Thank you,” your face felt hot from the attention you were getting. “Has he tried to come talk to you yet?” He asked and you shook your head no. “Truthfully, I’ve been trying to avoid eye contact the entire time.” You whispered to him. “You are very funny,” he says with a chuckle but you were dead serious.

Tony introduced you to some of his posse and you were met with a lingering stares and ginger kisses to your knuckles. Steve damn near broke the pool stick and Sam had to nudge him to stop staring so hard. “Sorry,” he mumbled. He lifts the triangle and offered Sam to break.

Most of Tony’s posse went over the couch to talk more comfortably. However there was a man who lingered. Maria went over to talk with Tony and Natasha was flirting with Banner, leaving him with the perfect opportunity. “You mind if I sit here?” The man asks you. “Nope I don’t mind,” you took a sip of your Mai Tai, trying not to make a face.

“Not much of a drinker, huh?” He says. “Not normally. I’m a social drinker and that’s about it.” “I’m sorry, did Tony introduce us?” You added. “Ouch. Am I that forgettable?” “No, not at all. There was just a lot of names to remember and I-“ “It’s okay, sweetheart. No need to fret. I’ll gladly reintroduce myself to an angel like yourself. I’m Bruce,”

You shift a little in your seat the longer you two talked, not particularly liking this conversation with Bruce. And you definitely didn’t like his predatory eyes raking your form. “I have to go to the bathroom. Excuse me.” You tried to stand from the stool and Bruce caught your arm.

“Is that code for something, honey?” “Let go of me,” you said sternly. “Steve,” Sam alerts his friend once he sees what was going on. Maria noticed the interaction and stood from her chair. Once she noticed Steve dropping the pool stick and making his way towards you, she sat back down but still kept an eye on you. “Come on, sweetheart. Don’t be such a prude.” Fed up with his persistence, you grab his wrist and twisted down.

“Ow, ow, let me go you bitch! Ah!” You twisted his wrist even harder when you heard someone approach. You froze when you heard Steve say, “What did you just say?” You let go of Bruce’s wrist and looked to Steve. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw how pissed Steve was.

His eyes narrowed at Bruce who now cradles his hand against his body. “Look man, I didn’t know she was your girlfriend, okay? It was a mistake.” “You’re damn right it was a mistake. Get the hell out of here before you ended up with a broken jaw and a sprained wrist.” He closed the gap between him and Bruce.

Your lips parted in shock from Steve’s reaction. “A-alright man,” Bruce stammers, standing from the stool. “I’ll walk you out,” Sam says, following him to the elevators. You were thankful the scene didn’t completely stop the party because that would have been embarrassing to say the least.

Steve’s gaze fell to you and you quickly closed your mouth. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken like that in front of you,” he apologized.

“It’s alright.. and you don’t have to worry about me reading between the lines and seeing something that’s not there. I know you would have done the same thing had it been someone else.” You explain, fiddling with your necklace anxiously.

“It wasn’t just anyone else. It was you,” you abruptly stopped touching your necklace when he stares at you with anticipation. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He felt like an absolute idiot trying to talk to you. You drank the rest of your Mai Thai in one go. “Could I have a shot of whiskey please?” You asked the bartender. “Make that two,” he corrects.

“I’m sorry for interrupting. I’m sure you and Sam were having fun. You should go back.” you stated. “Do you want me to go back?” “You don’t have to ask me, Steve. We’re not..” you trail off and let out a breath.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you, Y/N. I swear, I just-“ “You don’t have to explain anything to me, Steve. I’m sure you had a good reason and anything else you’ll say will just confuse me so please.”

He presses his lips together and nodded in understanding. “I want to make things right,” Rather than answering, you took your shot and when Steve reached for his, you drank his too. His eyes met yours again and with that you left the bar.

Natasha flags you down and motions you to sit next to her. “Everything alright?” “Yeah. I think I’m going to go actually. I’m starting to get tired.” “No, don’t go. We were about to play a game,” Tony offers. With so many eyes on you, your face felt hot for the second time that night. Tony smiled once you caved and agreed to stay for a bit longer.

As the night continued, more and more people left and now it left the original Avengers and close friends. Sure you were among friends but you felt that you overstayed your welcome and wanted to go home. Not to mention, Sam left too so Steve’s attention was solely on you.

He had sat on the couch in front of you, occasionally looking over at you to see your reaction to the conversation. “Looks like it’s about that time to go,” you state, standing from the couch to stretch. You were met with groans of dissatisfaction and pleads to stay.

“I am not a party animal like some people,” you playfully snap at Tony. “But think of how unstoppable you’ll be,” Tony offers. “Do you want me to take you home?” Maria suggests and you shook your head no.

“No I’ll just call an Uber. I’ll be okay,” you exchanged hugs with everyone, leaving Tony last. “You sure?” Natasha asks. “Of course,” you state, pressing a kiss to Tony’s cheek and gave him a small hug. “Well in that case, I trust that Cap will walk you out,” he says when you pull away.

Before you knew it, Steve was by your side and you sent Tony a glare. To which he responded with a wink. You and Steve walked towards the elevator, his hands stuffed in his pockets while you typed in Tony’s address for the Uber. “I could take you home if you want,” Steve offered when the elevator opened and the two of you walked in.

The elevator closed and you clicked the button for the lobby. You clicked out out of the Uber and bit your lip anxiously. When he noticed your hesitance, he added, “Or not. That’s okay. I don’t want to make to you feel uncomfortable,”

“I just don’t want to get my hopes up, Steve. You.. you make it very easy to fall in love with you and I don’t want to see something that isn’t there.” “It’s there, Y/N. You’re not seeing things. I’m right here.” He steps closer to you just as the elevator dings open.

You stared at each other for a moment, wondering where to go from here. “Do you love me?” You asked after a long pause. “Do you even have to ask?” He brushes some of your twists off your shoulder.

“Then we should have that talk,”

[courtney-deserved-better]

thoughts on the gen2 cast? hope ur having a lovely valentines day btw!

thank you! i had to work on valentines day but my coworkers had a little dance party and passed out chocolates and flowers and it was very sweet. anyway here are my thoughts:

anne maria - love her!! she's so fun and deserved better. i feel like i struggle to write her though

b - he also deserved better. trans and deaf king in my heart

brick - i feel like we'd get along irl. also deserved better but it was nice that he was respected for his elim by mike zoey cam

cameron - i wish i liked him more but he annoys me at times. has some great funny moments!

dakota - not a fan of the dakotazoid arc but i enjoyed her before that. i hc her and anne maria as latina and like to think they would chat in spanish while getting ready in the bathroom and sometimes mike (who i hc as latino) will join in (i love spanish-speaking hcs if you can't tell)

dawn - wish we got to see more of her. wish she was eviller. wish she had a proper rivalry with scott.

jo - she's so funny!! i feel like i struggle to write her too. if only i could get a better handle on her and anne maria i would write more jomaria

lightning - at first i thought he was annoying but now ive realized hes so fucking funny i wish he wasn't made a villain though that felt very shoehorned in

mike - pretty neutral, don't have a lot of dislikes when it comes to him but don't have a ton of likes either. i think if there was more time to explore his personality outside of his did i would enjoy him more (i would also love to see more of his alters they're so silly) he needs more screentime to just be mike outside of zoke and his did (but i understand why that didn't happen in a 13 ep season) (also that's not to erase his did i think that's an important part of him but for most of the show it feels like its the ONLY part of him) (this is a lot of description for a character im pretty neutral on. anyways)

sam - another character that annoyed me at first before i realized how delightfully silly he is

scott - funny scheming bastard man. wish we got to see a bit more sympathetic side to him

staci - pretty neutral, there's not much to go off of in canon but ive read some interesting headcanons/reworks of her personality

zoey - hmm. complicated. i would like her more if the narrative didn't overly favor her and could point out when she was being judgmental (and if she actually had growth, i read this great analysis years ago about how zoey as a character never internally changes from her first appearance to her last) it also bugs me how she has all these skills simply to serve the plot with no real explanation (i have a similar problem with julia but that's a post for another day)

[mariadotcom]

pennhurst - the start of going down (P. I)

hey guys, it's been a while since we last had some (or nay) interactions but life have been getting crazier by the second. i apologize since i left the blog untethered and filling with spiders and moths, but i'm (partially) back and hope you like this little romance, thrilling horror or something i've been working on on my free time. if not, dm me and i'll hear ya! xo maria

prompt: y/n is an immigrant from south america, she owns a bodyshop and there's where she meets sam and colby. as the friendship between them blossoms, other things arise as well, perhaps some of them should've remain buried. ghosts from the past, a difficult romance and a carrousel of ups and downs between them form a storm - but the living aren't the problem alone amidst this tempestuous story. WARNINGS: none, i guess. but strong language, NOT for minors, and i am a mess so god knows - and popular demand tells - when will i post the following chapter.

we promised we'd be back in full blast but not to exaggerate much and get ourselves - especially colby - hurt. since chemo ended, he's been more active and i, as friend who's been there through good and bad, think he deserves a time doing what he loves, performing his job oh so gracefully.

usually, i'm off-screen and i'm glad about it - helping the boys carring their stuff around and exploring places with friends on my days-off. this time around the only differencial would be colby's health on watch; sam was being careful and watching over him more than any of us would, despite that being expected. although something was off, i could feel it. the way colby would glare at people sometimes, with tears in his eyes. he'd be saying the most deep and thoughtful shit, but usually was hitting harder. "say what you feel to the ones you love, y/n" he'd say and i'd anwer "i love you, colby. it's never enough how much...". we met when they moved to Vegas at a bodyshop i own. they trusted their cars with me and we ended up bonding and becoming friends, colby was more standoffish at first but he came around once he learned that i was to be trusted - at least a bit.

the cancer news hit us all like a brick to the head, a cold rush of familiarity through my veins. it was all so new yet so similar. gladly, the treatment and the operation were enough, and he was never alone. not a single second. sam was alway there for him and so was i, whenever they chimed me in. anyways, on the welcome-back trip, sam thought a trip would do him good whereas i thought an exploration would serve better. combining both, for colby, was the greatest so that's what we did. sam chose the location through some people he met along the way of the chanel, i was so excited to finally know the spot i barely focused on colby and what was he saying.

"....then we could try to explore the place ourselves. what you think, y/n?" he said while scrolling through his phone. it wasn't sam and colby's first visit there, but it was mine and they wanted me to have a good time and full immersive experience. "huh?" i questioned "this whole thing is about YOU, colbert. you should be the one 'thinking' of something."

"yeah, yeah. i just want to make sure we all have fun, you know?" his pale blue eyes stared at me for a second and, as usual, i stared back. i couldn't get enough. "y/n?" he called.

"sure, colby. i'll do whatever you want me to..." i stated focusing on the pile of e-mails stacking in my inbox.

"isn't it time for you to take a vacation? some time off?" colby asked seeing how busy and overwhelmed i was. i sighned, he moved from one couch to another to sit closer. "c'mon you could stay some time with us, ditch the company for a few days..."

i cut him off before he could finish his line of thought "colby, you know i can't. the company is expanding.... i need to focus" i rolled my eyes and rested my head upon his shoulder. we watched as sam entered the room, sweaty shirt signaling he just came back from the gym "hello, lovebirds," he said jokinlgy "what are we discussing?"

"how y/n should get a few weeks of vacation" colby gently backed up, laying my head on the couch as he stood up to greet sam and the grocery bags i just now realize he had been holding for a while. "you're obviously in need of some of it, y/n. why don't we make this trip a bit longer so you can take AT LEAST a few days more to reset?" sam suggested.

"but i...." "you can't run no company if you're worn out, dude" sam cut me. "besides, it is YOURS. you're the boss! c'mon, we'd love to have you for a couple days more, right colby?"

"yeah, besides you still owe me a movie night!" colby stated. it's been months since i've been promising the movie night with thrilling and horror movies, just colby and i, to talk about how he has been feeling lately and other stuff. it's always a pleasure be around such a good friend. [wish we were a bit more than that].

"you know what, you two!" i started with and angry tone, eyes still closed, still laying on their couch. "you're right...." i cooled down. "i need to get some rest. i'll take 3 weeks off and nothing more but please, you both are in charge of me"

"couting now?" colby joked.

"no, robert, couting monday..."

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°\/°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Friday afternoon after my last meeting, i was still rushing around, making sure every inch of the bodyshop was clean, organized, ready for monday morning's routine of receiving and fixing cars and guaranteeing excellence to costumers. my CEO (and godfather, altogether) made sure they'd be fine without me for a couple weeks and he'd only call in emergencies. i was hoping for little to none, but leaving for the first time in years was still frightening.

i saw the old toyota corolla make a corner, if there were a better picture than that, colby's glass were not really dark-stained so i could see through it. he was wearing, shockingly, a dark green shirt, black and green jacket and i could swear i saw someone on the backseat for a split second. knowing him, i'd be either surprised or scared the second i set foot in the car. gathering my stuff from my office quickly, i found my old devotion notebook. i remembered that work has been draining me so much i forgot i am too a sensitive religious person - but not the convetional one. the door was pushed and the fragrance that followed screamed his name, i didn't even had to turn around to recornize him but his words affirmed what i thought. "are we going?" colby questioned. "mhmm" i replied. "let me just check my e-mails one last time...."

"oh fuck no!" colby shouted, running around the table and taking the laptop from me. he then locked it inside a drawer and kept the keys. "i'll give it back to you in a week or two, when we're far away from this office." he said firmly.

after a moment of silence, he said "you deserve this...." "hey! we're traveling! it'll be fun! plus, your family can handle everything else."

"and we'll call if we can't." my godfather/uncle Victor entered the room, his arms crossing in front of him once he stopped beside colby. them both being tall made a shadow fawn over me, intimidating a little. "we will miss you, but you haven't stop since forever. get some rest, kiddo" my uncle Victor said. "and you make sure she stays alright! i'll need her back!" he warned colby.

"sure thing, sir! i'll bring her back in one piece in maybe 3 weeks." colby said gathering my stuff and pulling me to the car. "maybe? it's a definitely, gentleman." Victor said. we both giggled making our way to his car.

"every time i come around to pick you up, i feel like we're 16" colby joked as i looked around in the car. [who the fuck was inside]. he arched an eyebrown confused to as why was i snooping around. "yo, you good?" he asked. i shaked my head 'yes' but there was some sinking feeling something was off.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°\/°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° the flight was scheduled to sunday morning, this way we'd be in pennsylvania by noon or so. it was still saturday morning when the first nightmare hit, it was still dark outside and the guest room in sam and colby's place felt degrees colder than usual. i guess it was so intense i screamed and sam woke me up, worried. colby followed him suit behind with flustered cheeks and heavy eyes.

"what's wrong?" sam asked, sitting in the bed beside me. his weight made the covers safer, calmer. my thoughts coming down from a high as soon as he pressed his warm hand on my forehead to see if i had a fever. "you're not hot or anything...." sam said and colby giggled.

"yeah she's definitely hot, jus not your type, bro." colby corrected and sam's cheeks brigthen up red, you could barely see through the soft and dim yellow light from the tiny lamp that stood beside the bed. "you know i don't mean that...." sam started. "you're... you're pretty hot you know. i'd rather say beautiful but..."

"romeo, i guess she just had a bad dream, right?" colby leaned on the doorframe. his white ripped tee a little too ripped and sam's soft grip on my face slowly became a light caress. "i guess i'll leave juliet to go back to sleep then." sam said giving me a concerned look. "okay?" i nodded.

"i'm sorry" i muttered, my voice coming back to me. "didn't mean to wake you up, guys" sam rolled his eyes and lightly pinched my cheeks. "stop being a dumbass..." he said getting up and making his way out. "i'll be in my room. if you need anything, CALL! don't scream. you scared the shit out of me" sam said as he made his way to his bedroom.

it was colby's turn to say something. do something. but instead, he just stood there, leaning against the door while i sat on the bed, still processing what was the nightmare about. only flashes flooding my memories, little by little. drowning my thoughts. "can i come in?" he finally asked after what felt like forever in silence. "mhmmm" i hummed.

different from sam, colby was more straight forward with whatever he wanted. this being said, it wasn't hard to agree that he, in fact, went under covers and laid beside me. "robert, what are you doing? are you insane?" i coiled beside him. my dressing wasn't very modest to welcome him in bed with me as i was using a big tee and panties. "as if i never laid next to another woman. get off yourself" he complained.

i sneakily grabbed my pajama shorts from my side of the bed and put them in under the blankets, by this time, colby had rolled over. his face turn to me but his eyes closed - perhaps privacy or just him trying to fall back asleep. i facepalmed breathing loudly trying to erase the feeling of uneasyness from my body after the terrible dream, but colby's hand on my tight and his firm grip startled me a bit. "c'mon, lay down. it's 2:30 in the morning... i'll stay here with you" he muffled in the pillows. "c'mooooooon" colby whined.

"i just...it was so vivid, you know.... these buildings, the feeling i got...." i started but my as soon as i did, my heart went racing. colby sat, his eyes barely opening, one arm around me and the other caressing my leg. "are you okay?" he asked, his hand moving upwards trying to soothe me. "sometimes reals can feel so real, right? but don't stress over it too much, i'll stay here." he said calmly. "maybe we can call sam and...."

"ugh you're such a whore, brock" i laughed as i laid in bed, him doing the same. "thanks, by the way..." he raised an eyebrown, eyes fast closed. "for the what?"

"for staying."

°°°°°°°°\/°°°°°°°°

the day went smoothly and sunday noon was approaching. pennsylvania sounded near althought a 6 hour flight separated the two states and increased in a rapid speed our hunger. i slept through most of it since the nightmares became a thing over the weekend - minus the screaming, thankfully - and sam became my personal caressing pillow. his soft words, as soft as his hands, lulled me to sleep seconds into the flight. colby was an aisle down to us and never stopped chatting with the pretty petite blonde girl sat next to him, when i finally woke, they seemed more acquainted then when the flight was getting ready to take off.

"they kissed" sam filled me in, first thing when i woke. "wow, really?" "mhmm, colby's like that now" he said turning a page from a book he was reading. "yeah i guess he always had been, but it's more of a show off about it now" i replied adjusting my messy cruly hair. "i'm glad i'll always have you, never normal sam" joking, i said. he just elbowed me lightly, giving the most warm upside down smile.

"how are you?" i asked noticing he'd been refusing to look at the notifications on his phone. he just glared. "i mean, this number must belong to SOMEONE. won't you answer?" sam sighed. "it's kat. we.... i...." his words started to crample together but luckily the pilot interrupted him with the announcement of landing. both of us releasing the air inside our lungs we weren't aware we'd been holding. "hey... i know it must be hard. i'm always here to hear you.... and maybe crack joke about it though." i reaffirmed. sam held my hand and gave it a caring kiss, leaving it as a thank you note with everything he wanted to say but couldn't right now.

the plane landed, we got our bags. sam and colby rented a car and decided this could make a video: traveling with friends, living the now, doing what they like and going old fashion - no hardwire equipments, no electronics by the dozens, no mediatic pressure and no place for nothing but good times. it came late, but it didn't fail. colby surprised sam and i at the restaurant. we were peacefully eating like dinosaurs when a pair of hands gripped sam's shoulder tight - not enough to hurt him, but enough to have him startled. sam and colby's friend, nate, stood behind sam and i while we ate.

nate is a cool guy, very chill and funny. he's always down to whatever the boys propose him to, thus incouraging me to do the same. although we have a good time together, sometimes and only sometimes, i have a glipmse of myself and feel a little unconscious. the many women approaching them - being for fame, recognition, looks or whatever - are gorgeous, the kind of girl you'd see on tampon commercials or maybe a lame movie with only hot chicks using ridiculous clothes to perform complex tasks. i'm just normal and - for a while - it's good being average, but oh boy, how i wish i was....

"hey, gorgeous!" nate complimented me as he plopped on the empty chair beside me. "how have you been, girl?" he sassed. i rolled my eyes, smile growing wider. "i've been good, nataniel." i teased back.

"what's with you and names?" colby asked downing a bit of his drinks. he had a halfway fresh oranje juice glass that i insisted he'd take instead of whatever processed shit he'd prefer. "you see, COLBERT," i emphasized before continuing, earning everyone's smile "it's funnier that way. plus, i get to tease you all about fictional names that suit you fine" i gulped my juice myself.

"well, we should think about a nickname for you to call it your own, then" nate threw his arms around my chair and said, leaning over a bit. "maybe we should call you...." as soon as nate was forming a thought, sam's phone rang. it was the person responsible for our tour and stay, so we went quieter so sam could figure whatever out. we couldn't help ourselves to kick one another under the table and whisper sweet nothings to each other while making dramatically silly faces - or copy whatever sam was saying in a husk tone, just to ease up the mood. "yeah, sure. i guess it'll be a great idea!" sam said. "i guess we can share some rooms, there's no problem with it...." finally, we fell dead silent to hear what he was saying and when sam noticed, he put them on speaker.

"i'm sure you can all share, but wouldn't it be fun if you got separate rooms?!" the person on the other end asked with a malice in their voice. you could tell it was a sllightly older man and if it wasn't from previous experience, you barely couldn't differ the amount of cigarretes he'd smoken before. "i mean, it's a haunt tour but we have buildings able to accomodate you 3 perfectly nice, and the area is still new to renovations so you guys could do some recording if you'd like"

"actually, josh, we are in a group of 4 now. a friend decided to join us, is that an issue?" sam asked. "not at all, sam! we love to have you and any friend of yours as guests! is colby coming?" the man asked "surely he is!" colby answered affirming he was part of the group listening. "well, then it'll be awesome having you guys!" "it'll be awesome staying with you, josh! see you in a bit" sam hushed and ended the call.

"well, i hope you're in for a ride," sam said. "we have the place to ourselves and...." "yeah, but where is the place? WHAT is the place?" nate asked, finally tackling our doubts. "we're going to pennhurst asylum."

author's notes: thoughts? call the roaches and complain. (kidding, leave it here under NOTES or message me)

[sweetdreamsbuck]

take my hand

beefy lumberjack!bucky x f!reader (lumby and bunny au)

wc: 2.2k

prompt: can't skate, gonna need someone to hold my hand

warnings: too much fluff. bucky is sickeningly in love

for col's Winter Wonderland writing challenge and sleepover! this is the first writing challenge I've ever done– seems fitting it's for you! thank you for inspiring me, always. <3 @foreverindreamlandd

a/n: this is a difficult time of year. sending all my love and super self-indulgent thoughts hehe.

happy holidays, my loves❄️🧸☃️🤎

𝐢 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤.

“Y’almost got the hang of it!” You most certainly do not.

Bucky tries to tug you along the ice, his hand secure in your double-gloved one– per his insistence on keeping you extra warm– but it’s no use. The ground stutters laughably beneath each attempt of sliding your feet.

Bucky’s never seen anything so adorable before; you’re awful.

Of course, to make matters worse, they’re all gifted on ice– Maria drifts by with a graceful spin, a howling Scott and Natasha racing just behind.

“C’mon Bunny, just slide your feet in time with mine. Small strides, like this,” he demonstrates the movement away from you in hopes your body will be able to mimic the action.

It won’t. You can’t.

“Can’t you just carry me? This holding my hand thing isn’t working,” you whine. Bucky laughs ignoring your groans, grabbing your face and kissing the corner of your mouth until you smile.

“Nope! I need to see you twirlin’ around first and then,” his thumb brushes over your bottom lip longingly, “we’ll talk. But I gotta go get the living room ready, stay out here with Maria, yeah?” He smiles at you– like he’s never witnessed something more worthy of his worship– with the radiance of every last ray of sun, warm and at rest in his stare.

And after the incredible day you’ve all had, this was the last thing on his list before the sun disappeared for the evening. This morning, he’d bundled you in too many cable-knit layers (and then an additional one just to be safe), an oversized coat, and thick garments for your neck, hands, and feet. But watching you bounce on the ice again and again… he wishes he added a few more.

Bucky had everything planned down to the very second; from the beginning dimmings of the sky’s glow so the fairy lights hanging from the cabin into the trees would shine just right, to the dough being rolled out, cut into intricate shapes to be placed in the oven with ample amount of cooling time– can’t have the icing melt off the tops, Bunny. Needs to be perfect for you.

Steve and Natasha had spent over an hour untwining the offending garland and string lights that Sam had managed to knot together, while you and Torres got a head start at throwing plastic balls and pine cones up the side of the smallest of the giant pines encompassing the cabin.

The last tray of cookies had been placed in the oven while the canola oil was set out for the potato mixture, waiting to be fried in Bucky’s special pan– his ma’s old one she only used this time of year.

The success of today was important to him for more reasons than one. He finally has something strong, something certain, worth making memories with– ones that will last him a lifetime and replace all the pain that's led him to now. Bucky only wants to share everything he is with you.

Including the small frozen pond; which Scott, Steve, and Sam tested their weight on, year after year, hopeful they’d bring a little cheer back into Bucky’s life.

Upon his request, of course, you’ll stay out here. Bucky wasn’t asking– he had everything meticulously pinned like points on a map. You know better than to derail any of his plans. So your brilliant grin and sweet hum against the warmth of his cheek is enough to guarantee he’ll be okay leaving you with his friends for a bit.

With a feigned mutter of disapproval, a 'you carry me everywhere, but now it’s an issue?' and an accompanying pucker of your lips, Bucky reluctantly watches as Maria hauls you away, taking over as skating instructor. He shimmies his skates off before shoving his boots back on, joining Steve to get his cabin all set for watching your favorite holiday movie.

****

Bucky can’t help himself, the window is right near the couch he’s meant to be fixing the blankets on. He spent weeks planning this. Hours getting all the lights outlining his cabin just right, dangling them from branches and trunks alike. He needed this to be pristine, for you. Pausing to look out was too tempting, a perfect distraction directly in his line of sight at the mess of people dancing around the ice. Specifically, on you. His Bunny, right at home with his family.

And oh– how you shine. You're impossible to miss, the center of it all, always. To Bucky, anyway.

Bucky blinks with a particular tunnel vision these days, a fixation on the most beautiful thing that’s ever stumbled into his life. The window’s fogged and he’s thankful, for once, that he forgot to clean it better; a frost-tinted circle illuminating your ambrosial luster.

And while quickly moving to place an additional few logs on the fire, he can't fight the urge to get back outside to you. You love curling up against his chest right in front of the flames, warm cream colored blankets and sweet kisses shared until Bucky's reeling, flushed scarlet and suffocating for more.

“What’s on your mind, Buck?” Steve wonders.

They wordlessly walk out of the cabin and down the porch steps, transfixed with the painting of Joaquin and Sam twisting you unwillingly around the ice.

Steve clears his throat.

But Bucky’s somewhere else entirely, your squeals of frightened joy are running circles between his ears, rendering him breathless in a moment he never wants to leave. From the moment just a half hour ago you spoke so softly, "Need you to hold my hand Lumby, what if I suck? Never done this before", to now– he watches on with an ardent tenderness bleeding from his eyes in the shape of you. Sam pushes at your hips from behind, directing your laughing frame wobbling straight into a panicked Torres.

Bucky’s so tragically in love with you.

“Her.”

Your skate catches the bottom of Sam’s too-long jeans, sending you both toppling to the ground in a heap of broad shoulders and heavy limbs– courtesy of a painfully groaning Joaquin and cackling Sam. Steve smiles, observing Bucky take in the picture before him, a low chuckle rumbling within his knowing chest: there’s nothing like watching your best pal falling more and more, so deeply in love, Steve thinks. He nods.

“Mine too.”

“And what’s my girl doin’ in your thoughts?” Bucky smirks, eyes grudgingly leaving your triumphant pose on top of your conquered pile of a bickering Sam and Joaquin. When he meets Steve’s eyes, he finds a noble grin.

“I’m thankin’ her. Never seen you like this, so…” Steve gestures to him, a grand wave of his arms Bucky feels deep in his chest, “So happy. Bucky, she’s–”

“Bucky! Bucky, help me!” They both whip their heads at the excited sound, the two men once face-first on the ice and under your victorious smirk now standing tall on their blades with you lifted high above their heads. Maria and Natasha jump up from their bench to rush to your rescue, hurling insults in between fits of laughter at the two idiots passing you round and round in swooping circles.

Steve looks to his friend, and in Bucky's contentment he sees it– adoration and fondness and relief vibrating warmly.

Bucky melts– his bunny and his best friends. And they adore his girl almost as much as he does. He couldn’t feel more alive.

“Torres! Wilson! Put my girl down, I swear if I find even a scratch on her–”

“You have her in like nine layers. Think she’ll be fine, if she doesn’t pass out from heat exhaustion first…” Sam mumbles securing his arms tightly around your middle, dodging the raucous taunts of the two women before placing you on shaky legs.

You stay standing for a solid three seconds, the air returning to your overexerted lungs. One slide of your foot, then the other. Just like Bucky showed you, left, right, le– your body meets ice.

Shrill mirth fills the woods at, yet again, another fumble of your own two legs. With an enamored chuckle, Bucky moves swiftly, hoping to get to you before another fall occurs. He’s never seen a person fall so much in his damn life.

“So. I’m terrible at this,” the dejected huff swirls past you both in a frozen gust of air. Your body shivers in a tired sulk, working hard to remember what it feels like to be standing. Bucky bends down and aids you out of your skates, shouting for Scott to toss him your boots. Right foot then left, and he secures the thick socks he made you wear over the tops of the laces.

Bucky looks up at you, a satisfied sound whispered into the frigid evening. There’s a playful pity swimming within his features. But his eyes always betray him, completely overflowing with his adoration for you. It nearly knocks you off of your feet, dizzy and back spinning ‘round icy ground. The entrance to the fence that encases the pond snags on your puffy parka and Bucky grabs at your wrists, sliding his thumbs gently down to the thick fabric concealing those precious lifelines of yours. He brings the tops of them to his mouth with a gentle hum.

Nothing feels more secure than falling into the safety Bucky’s presence brings. He stands, plump lips never leaving your knuckles for a second.

As if the evening was expecting you both, frost-bitten air and the last swirls of daylight envelop you in a greeting of serenity. The lights still glimmer and your friends still laugh and yell, but the evening permits you to forget all of that for a moment.

Looking into Bucky’s eyes feels a lot like home.

And the stunning blues have no intention of leaving your sweet face, sulking up at him with the echoes of crystalized wonder and the twinkling from up above dusting along your features– how could he even feel an ounce of sympathy toward you? Not when your pout entices him like nothing else on this goddamned green earth ever could. Nothing could hold a candle to it.

“Wouldn’t say that Bun,” he decides with a solemn shake of his head, squeezing your fingers within his hold, “You’re not terrible. Just not ready… for public viewing, is all.” A short nod and a hopeful smile search to brighten the affected expression on your face. But it isn’t until he leans down with his nose nudging yours, a teasing pout of his lips on your cold skin, an arm sliding behind your hip urging you closer with a sigh against your cheek that you feel it.

He’d do anything to keep you happy.

It’s evident in the glistening snow nestled within the thick sea of evergreen, its sparkling hue all around you– in the sloppily decorated tree just a few feet shy of the pond– in the group of friends he gathered together just to remind you how loved you are, even during the most difficult season of the year. Bucky’d spend hours milling through his ma’s old recipes to find the perfect cookies and those latkes he remembers enjoying years ago. He’d even go as far as tell a little lie no one could possibly ever believe, that you weren’t in fact hazardous on skates, even if it is just the two of you that hear it. He’d bear long hours in the harsh winds of winter for something other than labor, for a gathering of family his girl knows love him to no end, just to see her showered with the same sentiment– to see that smile.

Nothing about loving you is akin to labor.

But then your lips curl, a small giggle bubbling past your once frustrated pout until the sweet sound blooms, swells, stealing the rhythm straight from his chest. And Bucky’s heart soars, from the very depths of his rib cage to the confines of your wool-clad hands, all from just the blinding smile you have only for him.

Candle: lit.

Your hands reach for his cheeks just as they flush crimson, a startling contrast to the scenery surrounding you. Bucky nearly evaporates, right there.

His pulse is thunderous, urging him to delight in nothing but your joy enduringly. Bucky can’t control it, it croons I love you, I love you, I love you.

You’re breathtaking.

He’d never tell his friends he planned today just for you, of how he stocked his kitchen with baking supplies and festive decor just to watch the happiness sparkling, so alive in your eyes.

Bucky’s anything but subtle. His heart beats only with the air of your affections– his friends know.

“C’mon sweet girl,” Bucky’s nose smushes against your hairline, his kiss warming your chilled forehead. “We’ve got cookies to decorate. Can’t let Sam find ‘em or they’ll be gone before we know it.”

At the sight of Bucky’s reverent lips descending the span of your face, Steve turns to head back to the cabin. With a heavy smack of his arm around Sam’s shoulders and a smile spread proudly across both of their faces, they let their friend take all the time he needs. Natasha’s grin twitches softly, watching Bucky sing of his love for you with every glide of his lips against your skin, with every breath that fills his lungs.

Bucky continues on, reaching and pulling for every little laugh you’ll give him, sparing no expense for the feelings of his friends: "Maria’s terrible on ice, did’ya even see her out there? Nearly knocked poor Torres on his ass.” No, that was you, actually. And you did. “Scott took all the marshmallows, can’t let him find out about our secret stash, kay?” He keeps them in an old tea container, they taste of bergamot. “Stevie thinks he’ll make a better gingerbread house than us, you believe that punk?” He only said that to get Bucky riled up.

Sam hears it– they all do. You hardly attempt to quiet your delight whenever Bucky gets you snuggled close, wrapped entirely bare in his need to be your everything.

A hurried kiss teases his stubble, then graces his lips, and your arm entangles itself around his own until the tips of fingers interlock in a charm of whispered giggles. And while walking the length of the winter wonderland he’s created for you, hyper and giddy and so full of emotion, your heart thanks him.

They all hear Bucky prod, the cheap digs and the silly goading; not a single one of them has the means to chide– they know. Their friend has finally found peace, tightly woven within the grasp of a warm woolen hand.

[ashes-in-a-jar]

Hi! I was just wondering, what are your thoughts on episode 100 of The Sheridan Tapes?

You’re the reason I started listening and I always went to read your post after finishing an episode, I’m kinda confused by it honestly.

(Also I only just listened to it today (April 1st) so I was surprised when they mentioned it being April Fool’s Day cause it came out on Friday.

Sorry it took me a bit to respond to this, I have a few thoughts though, not sure if I will manage to sort through them. Mostly good!

First off what a nice thing to have a horror podcast that has a happy ending for most of its characters! They sure went all out with the polycule bit even without Ned lol. I did like how some of the chemistry Rob and Peter had in previous seasons paid off with that ending! Although some elements of it felt like they came out of nowhere? At least not in a way I noticed... Either way good for them!

The April 1st thing was fun timing to end the story! Love that it coincided (kinda) with irl date.

Although the actual date they saved the world was April 1st 2020 which was at the height of the beginning of the pandemic... from the frying pan into the fire amirite? XD

Sam becoming a "documentarian" for Anna's and Maria's podcast was a nice touch, and a jab at the "archivist" trope lol

I find it interesting that he decided to do it and kinda stick to the past? It feels like he hasn't managed to move on like the others, still stuck on maybe one day returning to Allen and the good old days. I am happy that Jerry took him under his wing, I wonder what their relationship is. I found it really touching that he asked Maria and Anna if it's okay to hug them, like he's used to asking permission from living with Sam which was so 🥺🥺🥺

Sam being anxious around a lot of people and then being understanding and accommodating was really touching in general.

I don't know how I feel about the direction Ren took, the whole Source revelation rattled them I would think they would do something about it rather than continue being part of a system that they ended up clashing over... I'm not even sure how ISFA is different from ISPHA? I would have liked to see them working on something fungi related, maybe with Amanita, who is MIA from the finale...

I would like a sequel about Sam going to rescue Ned (of course) and Ren dealing with aliens in space (a story thread that was left unresolved)

And definitely hear some of Rob's antiquing vlog shenanigans xD

Anyway, might have some more thoughts and something more cohesive to say about it all but overall I loved the podcast and enjoyed the ending, it tied up a lot of the story so neatly and managed to do it with minimal casualties and with care for every character

To say I cringed when the singing started in the end would be an understatement but good for them embracing it together xD

[puzzled-pegasus]

Songs that Manolo Sánchez would definitely learn/that I can see him playing

I Wanna Be That Song by Brett Eldredge

Señorita by Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes (he would sing with Maria)

Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran

I Won't Give Up and also I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

Boys Will Be Bugs by cavetown

Probably also Riptide by Vance Joy

Honey Bee by Blake Shelton

Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars

You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift (I had to put one in there)

Count On Me (he would play it for Joaquín)

Sleeping On The Blacktop by Colter Wall (Joaquín would love it)

Sam by Sturgill Simpson (Joaquín and Maria both would cry)

Jolene by Dolly Parton but he'd sing "Joaquín" for the Funny

I Need A Hero while Joaquín is working out (to pump him up like the good buddy he is)

Sugar by Maroon 5, idk I just have a vibe that he and Joaquín would sing it together to serenade Maria lmao

[real-total-drama-takes]

I submitted a take a while ago saying how I would do all stars as a full season, 20 contestants, aftermath episodes, ect. So here's how I'd cast it and why.

Gen 1 (10 contestants):

Beth - not only does she have a lot of unused potential, she was a finalist. She has a lot of knowledge of other characters as well as relations with many of them.

Cody - final three in world tour, plus he's a fan favorite. Could work for a lot of friendships and alliances.

Courtney - we're obviously going to need the whole love triangle here. Courtney is super strong, a controversial character, brings TONS of drama, goes far in every season (well, except 1), so she's an all-stars necessity.

Duncan - again, love triangle. Also a controversial character with tons of drama. And made it really far in every season.

Gwen - love triangle! Super important character and tons of drama like the previous two.

Harold - the star of action, great character relations to be used, just a good move to have in all stars.

Heather - the classic villain who competes every season. Made it to final three twice and about halfway through the game in action.

Leshawna - I can't believe they didn't bring her back. She's always reliable for mixing things up, has strong friends and stronger enemies, and was totally robbed every season. She's a fan favorite too.

Lindsay - underestimated fan favorite. Plus, she could've made so many new relationships because she NEVER got to make new friends and that's unfair. I love Lindsay. I wouldn't make her the first boot either.

Owen - again, can't believe he didn't make it. He's THE fan favorite. As well as the in-universe fan favorite. A fun filler character. Definitely needed.

Gen 2 (5 contestants):

Anne Maria - since I'm doing a lot of fan favorites, Anne Maria has to come back. Also, it is assumed that the contestants of TDAS came back willingly (Gwen said she only came back for Courtney, Duncan only came back for Gwen, ect.). She wanted that money BADLY. She would totally come willingly.

Brick - potential, fan favorite, best character no doubt about it I just really like Brick WE NEED BRICK.

Jo - totally could've badassed her way through. Jo is strong, arguable, and has drama potential.

Lightning - he's Lightning why wouldn't he be here.

Scott - a villain, he just better not be used dumbly this season.

Gen 3 (5 contestants):

Amy - where Sammy goes, Amy follows. She could play an excellent villain role and has potential to be used as Heather’s sidekick. Personally, I think Heather would use her and it would totally work.

Jasmine - strong, competitive, everything you need for an all star.

Sammy - she had SO MUCH potential. I literally thought she would be a Pahkitew finalist when I first started watching. She’s resilient, she’s dramatic, she’s all-star-tastic!

Shawn - finalist and could definitely be used again. Also a fan favorite.

Sky - finalist, strong, I could see her fitting in with Gwen and Leshawna. She could definitely rival villains really well.

Why I didn’t cast certain characters (excluding self explanatory ones):

Alejandro - I think it would be great if he just was in the aftermath. And he fought his brother about Heather in the aftermath. And he would be salty about being in the aftermath. Yeah.

Bridgette and Geoff - they are the aftermath hosts and I’m doing aftermath episodes! If I wasn’t, I would probably cast one of them in place of Harold or Cody or something.

Cameron, Mike, and Zoey - honestly I don’t think they need to come back. I don’t want the whole Mal thing, either. Their plots were all pretty resolved as of Revenge of the Island. And they kind of ruined Cameron in All Stars???

Dakota and Sam - I just don’t think they need to return I don’t know why Sam returned but if Dakota and Sam made out in the aftermath to rival Bridgette and Geoff I think it would be really funny.

Dave - I hope he died on the island uh anyways.

Dawn - a fan favorite and probably could be used again, but nah. She doesn’t have enough potential.

DJ - he’s a fan favorite, however, he doesn’t bring that much drama with him. And didn’t exactly make it very far in most seasons. I would make him very important in the aftermath, though.

Ella - she’s a fan favorite and fun and everything, but she just doesn’t have very much drama potential.

Izzy - I think she’s been on enough. However, I would include her in challenges as a little treat.

Justin - while he’s a fan favorite and a fun character, he didn’t do anything. Not even in action. I swear he was supposed to be a villain but he just wasn’t??? Plus, I think he wouldn’t ever come back to Total Drama if he could help it.

Max and Scarlett - first off, Chris wouldn’t let Scarlett back on the show if he himself got a million bucks. And I hate Max he can die anyways.

Noah - I know he seems like he should be one of the self-explanatory ones, I think Noah has a lot of potential. But that potential isn’t canon. And he probably wouldn’t compete if he didn’t have to.

Sierra - she’s not a fan favorite, at least from what I know, and I want her to be separate from Cody. She really doesn’t need to compete again.

Sugar - I think she’s like a Geoff kind of character- did one season good and never competes again.

Trent - I KNOW I KNOW I think him coming back would be good, but I think it would be even better to have him in the aftermath. He doesn’t need to compete anymore, but I would rather see him being really major in the aftermath episodes and with Bridgette and Geoff.

.

[pellucid-constellations]

yes pleaseeee give us angst with the undisclosed bear attack!! i love crying :)

Pairing: Lumberjack!Bucky x Reader (just Bucky in this one, he doesn't know you yet lol)

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: injury, angst!!!, you asked for this

a/n: Here’s a link to the series Undisclosed. Thank you for this little writing inspo before I head to work <3

____________________________________________

Bucky concluded that all the moments in his life had been leading up to this. The late nights always spent at the same diner. The early mornings building the house he would surely live in until he was old and gray. The days, all counted in these very woods, working with the people he had known since childhood. 

He had always been here, always been a part of Stowe Mills. And as he laid in the snow and felt the coolness seep into his jacket—felt the pain slowly numbing in his left arm—he knew he would always stay in Stowe Mills as well. 

Bucky couldn’t move. It was as if he was rooted to the ground by an intangible weight, rendered unconscious by a pain he no longer felt. But Bucky was far from unconscious, and the tingling in his fingers and toes meant he soon would be. If it wasn’t the blood loss that would take him, it would be the hypothermia. 

There were many things Bucky hadn’t done. He hadn’t done all the bucket list items he was sure normal people had—skydiving, bungee jumping, traveling the world. He had never ridden a bull or been to the beach or even gotten a tattoo. And sure, as he sunk further into the snow and felt his body tremble, skydiving sounded nice, important even. 

But Bucky was mourning other things. Things like Natasha and Maria’s wedding and Steve’s first kid. The day Sarah finally retired and the moment Sam would finally admit that he sucked at poker. He mourned Greta’s sour face as he tracked snow into the library and all the moments in his sister's life he would surely miss. 

Bucky mourned that he would never fall in love. 

He wouldn’t know a gentleness reserved only for him—would never get to wake up and pull someone closer in the home he never intended for one. He would never feel like he belonged to someone, something, other than Stowe Mills and this job that followed him through his life. He took a long breath and looked out as the air he created turned white under the trees. 

“Buck, you out here?” 

A tinge of surprise coated Bucky’s dry throat, but he couldn’t call out. Instead, he listened as Steve’s boots crunched in the snow, and he considered how far away from town he was. How many miles Steve would try dragging him before he fell unconscious. 

“Is that—Bucky!” Steve shouted, and then his pace picked up. “Bucky, I swear to god that better not be yours.” 

He must have seen the blood, or maybe the bag he had dropped as he ran. The ground started shaking by his head, and Bucky was beyond relieved that he was now face to face with Steve and not Sarah; Sarah didn’t need to see this. 

“Oh my god,” Steve choked out, one hand coming up to Bucky’s head while the other assessed his arm. “What happened to you, buddy?” 

“Bear,” Bucky rasped out, eyes feeling heavy now that Steve leaned over him. It must have been a childhood comfort thing, feeling like he could finally sleep.

Steve cringed, ripping his scarf from his neck and tying it in a knot around Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky felt a whisper of an ache there, but mostly he felt cold. Steve was hauling him up from the ground before he could protest. 

“I’m gonna get you some help, Buck, alright? You just stay awake. I promise you’ll be okay.” 

Bucky wasn’t sure if it was all his time in the military, or if Steve’s ax work made him so resilient, but Steve was running with him on his back. He was pushing through the snow with a seamless ease and keeping him firm against his body, and Bucky wanted to tell him not to worry so much. But Bucky also felt his eyes slipping closed, so there wasn’t much he could say. 

“Hey, awake, Bucky! You hear me? You stay awake or I’m gonna…I’m gonna—” his voice cracked. His steps faltered. “Stay awake,” he finalized. 

He thinks he stayed awake. Maybe. All that registered was the pounding of Steve’s fist on the doctor’s front door and his exhausted huffs as he pleaded with the older man to come to the clinic. Because it wasn’t as if Stowe Mills had a 24/7 emergency room; it wasn’t often that people knocked on death’s door at… four in the morning? Bucky didn’t know the time. 

Steve was on the phone with someone. The lights in the clinic gave him a headache. The doors pounded open and a softer voice broke through the space. 

“Is he okay?” Becca. It was Becca and she was frantic for some reason. Bucky tried to blink and catch her, but he felt foggy all the sudden, more weightless.

“I—I don’t know. I brought him here as fast as I could but there was so much…so much—Becca, they’re taking him down the mountain.” 

A calloused hand gripped his own—not Becca’s. Bucky was sure Steve made Becca wait out in the hall. He’d have to thank him for that if he woke up later. 

“You’re gonna be okay, man. We’ve all got you,” Sam assured, low and deep by Bucky’s ear, as if he wasn’t exactly sure he could hear him. 

How many people had Steve called? Surely the entire town didn’t need to race in at such a crazy time, just to watch Bucky lie on a table. But he thought about it, and Bucky would be doing the same for each and every one of them. For hours if he had to. He’d mourn this if he slipped away… his family, he thought, as something poked into his right arm. 

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut and did his best to grip Sam’s hand, but the doctor had given him something to warm him up, he figured, and it was making him feel fuzzy. He already felt fuzzy earlier. Sam had enough of a grip on his fingers for the both of them.

And then he was slipping into some strange unconscious where time didn’t make sense. He could hear counting, Steve’s voice the loudest as he was raised onto some stiff surface by multiple hands. He felt soft touches on his face, a flash of red hair and an ache in his head as he fought the urge to fall asleep. 

He heard a loud wind, a raucous disruption to the usually quiet town as the biting air of winter met his skin once again. Someone was crying. Maybe it was him, but he didn’t think so. And then he was weightless again, and falling into a sleep that he wanted to welcome. 

Bucky was in a helicopter, and the last thing he remembered before slipping into darkness was that riding in a helicopter had never been on his bucket list.

[springdandelixn]

Behind Closed Doors - Part V

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41825796/chapters/107173545

Roommate!Loki x Reader

Summary: You and your roommate, Loki, have come to a mutual   arrangement. But as time passes by, you can’t help but wish for it to be more.

Warnings: angst - honestly, I think this is all there is

I apologize for the wait but here it finally is! We’re almost to the end, my loves! And I hope y’all stay for the finale.

As always, your comments and likes are highly appreciated. Reblogs would make me the happiest as it would share the weird love story of these two haha.Thank you once again and know that I love every one of you 💚 

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

For days, your mind has been in a constant haze. As if in a state of limbo, uncertain whether you should talk to Loki about what transpired at the cafe or remain silent as you have been before that fateful day. You choose the latter, for you no longer desire to have any more heartaches to ensue and after seeing the black eye and bruise on Loki’s cheek after bumping into him the morning after in the kitchen, you’re glad about the decision you’ve made.

It even makes you scoff at how childish both men have been. Though you blame Steve for being nosey altogether and Loki goading him doesn’t make him innocent either. 

They keep their distance, all the same, something you are thankful for yet still make the effort to avoid them. Blocking Steve’s number the same night and ignoring Loki when you see him in passing, making it clear to him that you do not wish to be within his orbit. 

You no longer fear or worry about his presence but the pain has been your regular companion throughout the days. Loki’s words still echo in your head that you would find yourself in a daze at the most inconvenient moment, at work, in the kitchen—that cost you burning an egg, even during your baths, that it only urges you to keep scrolling through the list of rentals on your browser. 

You’ve changed your routine once more. But this time, you revert back to when you were living alone. You still leave the coffee pot warm, not wanting to fresh grounds to go stale but gone are the days of you slaving away in the kitchen just to prepare him a meal. You still make one, but only for yourself to take to work. And at times, you’d not prepare anything at all, opting to purchase at the cafe or the convenience store close to your office building.

And your weekend, you filled them with viewing schedules. Waking up early to meet the homeowners and check the units they offer. You even found yourself perusing the furniture store, being a constant window shopper at IKEA, and dreaming of the amenities you wish to decorate your future home.

You wake up late Monday morning, calling Maria and texting Sam to tell them that you’ll be doing a half-shift for the day. One of the apartments you’ve been eyeing for a while has finally called the night before and agreed to let you view the place the following morning. And with so many positive reviews you’ve seen about the building, in regards to location and accessibility, even with how friendly the neighbors are, you’re not passing up the opportunity. 

All dressed in work clothes and with your purse in your hand, you look down at your phone to check the time. Loki is home. But it’s late enough for him that you’re banking on the fact that he’s already gone to bed. You don’t want him asking questions as to why you’re leaving later than usual, you don’t even plan on telling him that you’re moving until your final week in the apartment. It’s a douche move, you have to admit. Constantly berated yourself about the insensitivity especially when so much would be at stake, but you’re done thinking of others, of him. 

Besides, you’ve kept aside some rent money to help him get by for a month. That would be enough, right?

When you hear no sound coming from the main room, you quietly open your bedroom door and make your way to the front of the apartment. But the aroma of freshly brewed coffee takes you by surprise, making you look at the kitchen to see the machine lit and the pot half full. But what surprises you even further is the sight of your lunch container sitting on the kitchen counter. 

You walk towards it, curious as to why it’s out then blink when you see it full through the transparent lid. Pasta, and a side of chicken taking up the space. Your eyes then take notice of the sheet of paper tucked underneath. Placing your purse atop the counter, you take the sheet, your heart constricting when you read the inscription. 

I took the liberty of preparing your meal for the day. You’ve done it for me so many times, I want to return the favor. I’m sorry if it’s only now that I’m doing this. I hope you have a great day today at work, Darling. 

Always Yours, Loki

It’s the first time he’s made contact with you since that night and you will yourself not to cry as you stare down at the letter. But such efforts are a lost cause as the words blur in your vision, the tears flowing freely down your face. Your hands shake and you have to lean against the counter to compose yourself. The note brings back all the emotions you’ve felt since the night he confessed his feelings to you and more from the past. 

You want to forgive him. You really do. To bury the hatchet and start anew. You still love him for god’s sake but you don’t know where to begin, how to even begin. You’re still too broken to take that step and there’s a small voice in your head that continuously tells you that he’s crossed the line, that what he’s done has created more damage than could possibly be fixed over another conversation. 

Yet a small smile forms on your lips as you look down at his note once more then at the food he’s prepared. You fold the paper in half and tuck it in your purse. Wiping the tears from your cheeks with the back of your hand, you head over to the pantry to take out your lunch bag and stuff the container inside before grabbing a thermos to fill it with hot coffee. 

You’re thankful for his effort and you’re not stupid nor heartless to put it all to waste. 

 -

 “The living room is attached to the kitchen. The washer and dryer are just at the end of the counter and you have a kitchen island that also serves as a dining table if that’s alright with you.”

You nod as Jonah, the unit owner, shows you around the apartment, hand gesturing to the rooms he’s mentioned and following him like a lost cat through the wooden flooring. 

You look around the place and notice that it’s much smaller than the apartment you share with Loki. A one bedroom and bath with a balcony attached and the kitchen and living room furnished with the necessities. Your eyes then land on the single armchair sitting at the side of the coffee table, and you cannot help but think about the one back at your place, the one Loki has claimed for himself. And all of a sudden, you imagine him sitting on the furniture. Mug in hand, wearing that black Henley shirt you love on him while he looks at you with a smirk playing on his lips. 

You blink away your thoughts and divert your eyes from the couch, your mind running in circles and hearing yet not listening to what Jonah is saying as he shows you the bathroom and then the bedroom. “It has a walk-in closet and my wife said it’s something most young women like to have.” He comments with a chuckle and you smile at him if only to be polite, walking into the room when he pushes the door wide and humming in approval of its coziness. 

There’s a queen bed in the middle, similar to the one you have and your mind begins playing with you once more as the image of Loki sleeping on the bed fills you. His toned back moving between the sheets and duvet as he breathes and his raven hair fanned around the pillow under his head, looking peaceful in his state of slumber. You force yourself to look away, almost bumping into Jonah as you scurry out of  the room.

You feel a shiver run up your spine and your chest tightening as you clutch on the armchair tightly. Your eyes scan the place, looking for something to keep you grounded but everywhere you look, all you see is him. Loki cooking in the kitchen with a wide smile on his face. Him watching the game on the television while he cheers on his favorite team. Loki standing on the balcony, looking out at the view and casting a perfect silhouette as the sunset before him.

You don’t understand what is happening to you, why images of Loki continue to appear. You wanted to move out to get away from him, to leave the pain behind, yet he continues to plague you, haunt you, even in this place where you knew he couldn’t follow. 

You feel a hand rest on your shoulder and immediately flinch, moving away from the culprit and almost instantly feeling ashamed when you look up to see Jonah with his hands up in defense, his blue eyes full of concern as he takes a step back. 

“My dear, are you alright? Do you need to sit down?” He asks and you look around to get a grip on reality, giving him a nod as you move to sit on the couch.

“I—I'm fine.” You stutter your response. “Just—the nerves. Moving and all.” You lie.

“I understand.” He smiles at you but the look on his face tells you that he doesn’t believe you. “I know moving isn’t all that easy.” He says as he walks over to the balcony and slides the door open. You inhale deeply as the cool autumn breeze blows in and brushes against your face. “Do you have any questions about the place? Any concerns?” He asks as he takes a seat on the armchair, his ankle resting above his knee as he leans against the arm of the seat.

“Uhhh—” God you feel like a fool. Ever since imagining Loki on the armchair, your mind wasn’t fully focused on the tour. Too busy questioning why your mind continues to conjure images of him. “Not really.” He chuckles and you look down at your hands in embarrassment. 

“Very well. If you don’t mind, I do have a question for you.” You look up at him. “More like a screening question really but might I ask why you’re wanting to move? What of the place you have now? Bad landlord?”

You look down at your hands once more as you rub them against your thighs, a soft sigh leaving your lips as you think of what to tell him but only coming up with the real reason you decided to move out in the first place. To run away. “My roommate hasn’t been the best to live with lately.” It’s not entirely a lie but it’s not the whole truth either. 

“I see.” You hear him hum. “But they savory enough to live with before? What changed?”

You sigh. “—so many things.” And it shocks you at how open you’re being with this stranger. 

He doesn't know you and you don’t know him either. You could easily refuse to answer his questions and just end the viewing all at once. But with how he’s looking at you and how soft he speaks, the timbre of his voice almost dampening the tension that surrounds you, you can’t help but feel at ease and feel the desire to let out all your frustrations. 

You haven’t spoken to anyone about what happened to you and Loki. There’s no one to tell. Not even your best friends for not only have you not found the time to inform them of the ongoings of your life, but you don’t want to pester them with the woes of your heart. With how pathetic of a drama your life has reached. Yet here’s this man, probably old enough to be your dad, giving you something akin to support that you didn’t know you desperately needed. 

“Have you talked to them about it?”

“Huh?”

“Have you told them why you no longer find them bearable to live with?”

“I don’t— I—” You stutter and he chuckles lightly at your confusion. 

“You should talk to them. Iron out any wrinkles before you move.” He says, his fingers tapping against his shin as he keeps his eyes on you.

“Why? Wouldn’t leaving be better to avoid any bad blood?”

“Do they know you’re leaving?” You shake your head to the negative. “Then that would cause even more bad blood and life is too short to make enemies.” He speaks as if he’s taking from experience. “And running away doesn’t really solve anything.” He adds and your eyes widen at his comment, feeling vulnerable with how much he’s reading into your emotions. “Not that we wouldn’t want you to rent our place, that would be marvelous actually. But if you don’t clear things out before you move, then you’re just bringing your problems wherever you go.”

“I never said I was running away.” You say almost defensively. 

“I know. But you look like it.” He answers as if it’s an obvious fact. “I was in your shoes once. That’s why I bought this place,” His hand waves around the apartment before resting it back on his leg. “So that I could get away from all my problems. Start fresh. Clean slate. Easy. But my problems only followed me back here and the apartment never truly felt like home, it felt more like a prison because I would willingly shut myself in.”

You stare at him as the advice he gave you begins to slowly sink into your bones. You’ve never had a decent talk with Loki. Even after he told you of his feelings, not once have you both sat down and faced the problem head-on, and here you are once more, finding ways to avoid him. Running away and with how your mind began playing with you, you can’t help but agree with Jonah. That the problems will just materialize themselves if you don’t attempt to fix them. 

“Talk to them. It’ll also help you breathe easier.” He smiles and you give him a sincere one back. Your heart feeling somewhat light from his words of advice. “So, if you’re still interested in renting out the property, just send us an email and my wife will get back to you with the paperwork. I’ll even keep the place vacant for a month until you decide.”

Your eyes widen in surprise at his offer. “Oh—you don’t have t—”

“It’s alright. Really.” He chuckles at your state of shock. “I see myself a lot in you and I know when to offer help, especially to someone who needs it.”

You nod and follow him when he stands, shaking his hand when he offers it and walking to the front door. “Thank you so much, Mr. Morran. For everything.” You smile and give the apartment a once over before looking back at him. “You do have a lovely home.”

“Please, dear, Jonah will do.” He says, giving your hand a gentle pat before walking with you to the elevator. 

 -

 “I’m beat.” Sam groans as he swivels in his chair, giving yours a light kick that makes you face him curiously. “Coffee break?” You look at your thermos and see it empty, nodding at his request before taking your wallet and phone and standing from your seat. “Starbucks or 711?”

“Depends. Are we feeling fancy or are we feeling cheap?” You laugh and follow him to the elevator. 

As you and Sam walk across the lobby, you turn your head when you hear your name being called and freeze when you see Steve approaching you. You take a step back, Sam’s hands holding your shoulders when you bump into him as Steve steps closer.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asks, looking at Steve curiously. “Who’s that?”

“Nobody.” You answer before righting yourself. “What do you want? I thought I said to leave me alone?”

“Please. I just want to talk.” Steve says and you snort when you see the fading bruise on his eye and the cut on his lip. “Just coffee or even no coffee. We can talk right here. Please, just a few minutes. That’s all I’m asking.” 

You didn’t think that you would see Steve again. You thought he got the message when you blocked him completely. But you were too confident to think that he would stay away. He was persistent the first time and it would only be natural that he would do the same a second time around. 

Your brows draw together as you take on Steve’s image, huffing out a breath before looking back at Sam. “I’m feeling Starbucks today. You?”

“Starbucks sounds nice.” Sam grins. 

You turn to Steve. “You’re buying Sam’s coffee too. Just coffee and talk. We have fifteen minutes to spend.” You say curtly and walk out of the building, Sam walking in step with you and Steve following behind like a lost puppy. 

You sit down with Sam as you wait for Steve to get your drinks. You sense him looking at you and probably itching to ask who Steve is. So you face him and give him a sigh, rolling your eyes when you see the smirk playing on his lips. 

“He’s my roommate’s friend and he was an ass to me.” You simply say and turn your attention back to the busy cafe. 

“He looks pathetic.” You snort at Sam’s comment before facing him with a raised eyebrow. “I mean, he’s one burly dude yet he’s begging like a kid just for you to talk to him? He must have done something really stupid for him to get to that level.”

“You could probably say that.” You chuckle and then look up when Steve approaches your table, two large cups and a small one nestled in the paper tray. 

Sam looks at the cups and reaches for his, standing from his seat right after. “Alright. I guess I’m no longer needed here.” He says, raising his cup to Steve. “Thanks for the coffee, dude. And you,” He turns to you and winks. “He messes with you, you know where to find me.” He grins, nodding once more at Steve before leaving. 

You take yours and hum at the warmth of the cup when you wrap your hands around it. Taking in the aroma of the macchiato before looking over at Steve as he sits across from you. 

“Okay. Talk.” You instruct before taking a welcome sip of the hot beverage. 

“Dove—”

“No. Let me stop you right there.” You cut him off by holding a finger to him. “That’s not my name and I would really appreciate it if you would stop calling me that.” You snap, tamping down your growing annoyance with another sip. 

“I’m sorry—” He frowns and bows his head, looking down at the table. “For everything. I overstepped and that was wrong for me to do.” You hum mid-way as he speaks. “I just—I really like you and became protective of you and seeing you crying? I couldn’t bare it.”

“So you had to threaten Loki for you to bare it?” You mock before shooting your eyes to the heavens when he looks at you with confusion. “It’s not only that, Steve. You and Loki can beat the shit out of each other and I couldn’t care less,” That’s a lie. Of course, you would care about Loki getting hurt. “but you kissed me. Two times. Even after we talked about staying friends and you were even the one who suggested to be friends.” You huff and flex your fingers to calm your nerves. “You’re a great guy, Steve. Really. You’re sweet and I enjoyed your company a lot but you just went overboard and it’s become too much.” You sigh deeply and face him once more. “I don’t know if I can be friends with you. If Loki invites you to the apartment again for a game night or whatever you guys usually do, then I’ll be civil but beyond that, I’m not really sure.”

“I—” He looks at you almost to the verge of tears then nods. “I understand. And I’m really really sorry.”

“It’s alright,” You nod and look down at your phone, standing when you notice the time. “My fifteen is over. I should be heading back.” He nods at you and you make to walk away but when you glance at him once more, seeing the defeat in his entire being, you can’t help the swirl of pity that fills you.

Yes, he’s stepped on some boundaries but what you said is true. That he is a great guy. If he didn’t cross lines and respected what you wanted, you don’t doubt that the both of you would have been good friends. 

You let out a sigh and groan inwardly, poking his muscley arm before nodding your head in the direction of the door. “Walk me back.” You tell him and you don’t know why you’re even tossing him a bone. But Jonah’s words from earlier runs through your head and you can’t help but agree that life is indeed too short to make enemies. 

You don’t want Steve to be your friend, that you have already established. But you don’t want him to be your enemy either. 

“Really?” He asks. 

“Just walking, Steve.” You put your foot down and give him a serious look. “Nothing more.”

You want to roll your eyes when he gives you a wide smile but stop yourself, walking over to the exit and feeling him trail behind you.  

 -

 Friday finally arrives and you stay laying in bed after your alarm woke you up. You forgot that you booked the day off in hopes of looking for more places to view but after the last one, you decided to put a halt to the search, taking in Jonah's words about talking to Loki before even considering taking the leap of moving. 

You’ve been staring at the images of the apartment for the past couple of days. Admiring the fixtures and how perfect it looks for you to live in. But you refrain from sending them an email, even more now as Loki continues to leave you with his gifts: food prepared and packed on the kitchen counter, even taking the liberty of filling your tumbler with coffee himself. The letter has also been a mainstay but he’s now added flowers to the mix. 

Each day is different. Some days a bouquet and other days, a single-stem blossom. And it makes you think where he gets these for you know where he works, you’ve passed by it a couple of times in the past to drop him off some dinner, and not once have you seen a flower shop nearby. 

The clang of a pan sounds from outside your door and you sit up, looking at the clock on your nightstand and taking note of the time. Loki is home. And you don’t doubt that he’s fixing you up something to eat. Getting out of bed, you make your way to your ensuite to wash your face and brush your teeth, slipping on a hoodie over your camisole before taking a deep breath and quietly opening your door, not wanting to startle your roommate from his task. 

And just as you expected, he’s busy in the kitchen. Your lunch container already sitting on the counter, a bouquet of sunflowers resting beside it. You know that he’s making an omelet from the aroma that fills the living room. 

Talk to him. You hear Jonah’s voice in your head as you continue watching Loki. Your teeth worry your lip as you try to find the courage to do so. You’re still nervous about facing him, that’s the reality of it. Your body shivering lightly just from the thought of speaking with him again after a week of silence. But he’s right. Jonah is right. Either you choose to move out or stay, you have to fix the bridge between you and Loki. He means a lot to you even with the lingering pain and as much as you wanted to run away from him, deep down, you know that you don’t want to lose him. 

Slowly, you make your way to the living room, breathing through your nose as you try to calm your nerves then leaning against the back of the couch to spectate him in his role of chef. 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“Jesus Christ!” He yelps and you can’t help the giggle that escapes your lips at his reaction. His face then softens albeit still shocked from your sudden appearance and you move over to the counter, sitting on the stool. “I know—but I want to.” He says, sliding the egg dish into the container. 

“I mean, you don’t have to do that because I don’t have work today.” You tell him, resting your elbow on the marble surface and then leaning your cheek against your fist. “Booked the day off today.”

You’re talking. That’s good. Keep going. You push yourself and tighten your fist, grasping onto the courage that tries to flee. 

“Oh,” Loki says, placing the pan back on the stove. “You can still eat it later today. Or you can eat it now?” He gives you a small smile, opening then closing a drawer before handing you a fork. “Breakfast.”

You take the fork from him and slice through the dish, humming as you take your first bite. “Uhhh—needs salt.” You comment, Loki immediately turning around to grab the salt shaker from the spice cabinet and placing it beside you. “Thank you.”

You eat in silence. Loki watching you from across the counter, happy that he’s keeping his distance. You’re ready to talk to him but touch is a whole other subject you can’t quite grasp on.

“You’re speaking to me again.” He says as you finish your meal, looking up at him before nodding at his words. “Does that mean you’ve forgiven me? You’re no longer angry with me?”

“Angry? No.” You shake your head before letting out a soft sigh. “Forgiven? No either.” He frowns. “But someone told me that I should talk to you. Fix things between us before—” You hesitate for a second, exhaling hard before you continue. “—before I leave.”

“Leave?” His eyes grow wide and in an instant, he’s beside you. You slip out of the stool and hold your hand out to him, Loki stopping, pain and panic etching on his face as he looks at you. “You’re leaving?” He asks once more. “You’re leaving me?”

“Things have just been too much lately, Loki.” You mumble, fiddling with your fingers as you try to cough out the words in your throat. “And I’ve been so confused and hurt and I just wanted to run away from it all. To run away from you.”

“Darling—”

“Please, let me finish.”

He nods and you swallow thickly as you push on. 

“I found a place. Far from the city—probably 30 minutes by car and an hour by transit.” You move to sit on his armchair, hands folding atop your thighs, the weight and tension of the moment weighing you down physically and emotionally. “I already met the owner and he’s agreed to hold the unit for me until I’ve decided.”

Hope glimmers in his eyes, taking a step closer to you. “That means you haven’t—”

You shake your head. “Not yet.”

“What’s stopping you?” He asks although cautious. 

You sigh, rubbing your hands against your knees. “You. You’re the one stopping me, Loki.” There’s strength in your words and the emotions you’ve been tamping down since last week begin to bubble over. Your tears spill from your eyes and your fists clench tightly against your skin as you choke out your next words. “Because everywhere I look, I see you! All I saw in that apartment was you! You sleeping on the bed. You watching your TV. You smiling that stupid smile of yours while watching the sunset!” You heave, wiping the tears away harshly with your sleeves. “I love you so much and I wish I didn’t. I wish we just fucked like normal people and that I never grew feelings for you. That way, I can move out without a hitch. But you’re imprinted on me for some reason and I can’t get away from—”

Your words get muffled when Loki presses his lips against yours. And you could feel your heart exploding, your hands reaching up to grab his wrists as he cups your face, lips, and teeth crashing against each other in a desperate kiss. You’re filled with need as his mouth moves greedily against yours, his hand moving to cradle the back of your head as he keeps you close. 

You scold yourself as you find yourself kissing him back, your lips moving in their own accord, feeling that if you stop, your heart would stop along with it. 

The kiss breaks when you both come up for air, Loki sliding down on his knees before you as he takes your hands in his own, pressing them against his lips as his tears begin to fall. Your heart constricts from the pain that radiates from his face.

“I’m so sorry—” He chokes out, his hands tightening around yours. “It was never my intention to hurt you. I would never want to hurt you but I did and now you’re suffering because of me. Because I was arrogant and selfish and a coward and—” He looks up at you, his mouth agape as if trying to grasp the words he wants to say. But you stop him, taking your hands from his to hold his face, shaking your head as you try to wipe away his tears. 

“I’m sorry too—” You frown, your lips quivering as you try to stifle your tears. “I was so scared to think what you would do if you found out how I felt about you. I pulled away when we should have talked. I should have been braver else we wouldn’t be in this shit show.” You lean down and press your forehead against his as you can no longer bare to see the pain you’re causing the man you love. 

It’s finally dawned on you. Your mistake since the beginning. Yes, he’s hurt you but seeing him now, just how broken he looks and how much pain he’s in, you know just as well that you’ve hurt him just as much. He’s tried countless times to reach out and all you did was pull away. 

But you only did so to protect yourself. To protect your heart. Yet as you were trying to do just that, thinking it would be the best plan of action, you were breaking his in return. That everything he’s called himself, selfish, arrogant, a coward, was a reflection of you. You owe him just as much as he does you and you know that you should do just as much work to rebuild the relationship you once had. But you don’t know where to start. 

“We’re so broken, Loki.” You mumble. I—I don’t know what to do. How do we fix this?” 

“We’ll take it slow.” He says, almost enthusiastic yet wary, facing him when he tips your chin up. “We’ll start from the ground up. Do all the works and rebuild what we once had, maybe even turn it into something better.” There’s a smile fighting to show on his face but the frown wins the battle. “Even if it means we remain friends. Just—please,” He gasps, taking your hand and pressing it against his cheek. “Please, stay.”

You swallow hard and move to slide down from your seat, joining him on the floor and wrapping your arms around his neck to hold him tight. You both sob in silence, the cries of your hearts screaming loudly in the frigid morning. 

You don’t know if this would work if this is what you both should do. You try to think of running away once more, of pulling through with your original plan but just the thought of saying goodbye to Loki as you pack your things and go, and seeing his face as you close the door, makes is hard to breathe. That a life without him, as pathetic as it sounds, would be a dull one to live in.

Then and there, you make up your mind and press a kiss on his temple as you nod. Your hand cradles his head as he buries his face on your neck, the sound of his cries tearing into your chest.

You whisper. “I’ll stay.” 

 -

 You both end up on his armchair. His back against the seat and you on his lap, sitting in silence as you hold each other, making up for the time you both lost since the day you pulled away. Your eyes are sore from all the tears and when you look down at him, you see his eyes red and puffy and it makes you run your fingers through his hair and press a kiss on each eyelid. 

His asleep. Beautiful even with how distraught he looks. His lashes fanned over his cheeks and his lips slightly parted as he breathes. He looks peaceful and you feel the same, leaning down to press a kiss on his forehead as you rest your cheek once more against his hair.

Your mind then flits back to Jonah. His advice swirling around you and you can’t help but think that he was sent by the heavens. Probably sick and tired of all the nonsense of your actions and decided to intervene and help you and Loki find each other once more. 

Things are still beyond okay for the both of you. But you won’t hesitate to test the waters and give your best effort in rebuilding the bridge you both once had. To tie back the strings you both weaved together and make it whole once more. Though you are hopeful and that itself is enough. 

“I’m rooting for you, Loki.” You mumble against his hair, your tears threatening to fall once more as you’re filled with so much love for this man. “I’m rooting for us.”

Tag list: @mochie85​ @stolenlucifer​ @michelleleewise​ @rmoonstoner​ @muddyorbs​ @javagirl328​ @lucylaufeyson3​ @huntress-artemiss​ @ariacraigggg​ @silverfire475​ @lonadane @123forgottherest​ @catalina712 @lokiprompts​

[thatawkwardmoth]

Part two of the Last Of Us normal au headcanons:

Age gap is definitely ignored. They're (Ellie and Sarah) like a year at most apart.

Joel can cook. It's rare that he goes all out with new recipes especially before Tommy got married and quit coming over all the time. But he can cook and he and Sarah love bonding over cooking and baking.

Ellie can and will only eat Chef Boyardee for a week until Joel finally puts his foot down.

Hes not fond of "Fend for yourself" nights. He'll usually make sure there's something easy to make, even if it's microwave Mac and cheese and sandwiches and a veggie tray to get all the food groups needed. That or he'll leave money and take out menus.

Ellie has a bunk bed. Most people think it's for Sarah to stay in when she gets nightmares and only wants her older sister. But its actually for Riley. When she stops by and needs a place to crash, she has a comfy bed and a section of Ellie's closet.

Joel will fight every homophobe in the world for Ellie. There's no one he can't take down and he's proud of it.

Ellie has beaten people up for trying to make fun of Sarah for being so girly and 'nerdy'.

Sarah learns how to drive first, Joel teaching her in his truck. He's holding off teaching Ellie because he's scared for the other people on the road.

Sarah's everything is pink. It's her color. Every gift, every load of laundry, every little thing in the house, if it's pink, it Sarah's.

Joel buys the girls flowers when he's working long weeks when he doesn't see them except for early in the morning before school. It's not an apology entirely.

Definitely takes them out on father-daughter dates.

Joel almost cried explaining to a young Sarah what happened to Ellie. It was just so sick and made his stomach hurl. He never wanted Sarah anywhere near people like that.

Ellie was a leash kid. Obviously.

Main family outing place is the zoo. Or the planetarium.

Ellie is very serious about going to the Moon, even if she hates math with a passion.

They don't have a dog but they do have two rabbits. One is Sarah's, named Dewdrop, and it's very sweet. Ellie's is named Anarchy because it has it out for Joel. Will fuck him up if he walks into Ellie's room while he's free roaming.

Riley doesn't die. She moves away after her parents die.

Ellie still kept the bunk beds in her room. Except now it was for all the friends she made at school as well as Riley if she ever came back.

Sarah and Ellie have matching butterfly necklaces they got for each other. Ellie's is blue and pink, Sarah's color and her signature blue butterfly. Sarah's is red and black, because Riley told Ellie she looked good in red and Ellie internalized it.

Ellie and Sam are constantly posted at the comic book shop, waiting for new releases or just to reread issues.

Joel is considering getting Ellie a service dog for her PTSD, because her therapist recommended it. But they're expensive.

Joel has never once yelled or scolded Ellie for fighting back during an episode. When she's remembering what happened to her before she got adopted, she starts swinging on Joel when he's trying to get to calm down and do the exercises her therapist taught her. He usually congratulates her, telling her that "it's what I want you to do. Fight back till the end, till you're safe."

Sarah is constantly asking for Joel and Tess to have a baby.

Ellie once joked that she was going to give Sarah a baby for Christmas if Joel didn't. That was the first time Joel ever grounded her and she still laughs at the way his face dropped and the instant threat that followed.

Sarah and Ellie's favorite thing is getting home from anything late, dinner with Maria as a girls day thing, basketball game ran late, whatever, and there's Joel sitting on on porch, light on outside and in the living room, eyes peeled on the road to the Cul-de-sac.

Joel only listens to country and he would rather die than admit to anyone that, after Ellie and Sarah showed him how to make a Playlist, he made one for them.

The Playlist that has songs reminding him of both of them are all very sweet and sometimes on long, bad days, it's the only thing he'll listen to.

Ellie has a record player she loves more than life itself.

Ellie is a horse girl and joined the 4H club for that reason alone. Joel laughed when she'd come back and complain about no fucking horses being there.

Sarah is a straight "A" student. Ellie is a low A-high B student. She doesn't really care for sitting in a classroom all day.

Joel homeschooled Ellie until 4th grade (9-10 years old) just so she was caught up and really prepared for public school.

Both girls enjoy the old westerns they watch with Joel. They'll just never admit it and will make fun of them while watching.

Tommy thinks he's safe from the snark of Joel's kids entering his own until Ellie teaches his toddler, who is already going through the terrible two's, how to say fuck and reasons to be mad at their parents.

Ellie is no longer trusted to babysit Tommy and Maria's kid.

The fridge has a white board on it that Joel uses to write notes out for shopping, the schedule of the week. It has since evolved to Sarah and Ellie writing notes for him.

Example:

"We're out of milk, put that on the list."-S

"You need to shower when you come home from work, I can't stand the smell of whatever chemicals you're using. :)"-S

"I'm gonna add a box of black hair dye to the list, for all your little grey hairs."

Ellie only calls Joel "Dad" when it's serious or she's really sick. She's still scared he doesn't see her as his actual daughter.

Sarah learned to bake cakes because Joel would always forget to grab one for his birthday (not the girls', never the girls'). It's now tradition for her and Ellie spending the day before decorating his cake with stupid things. Like really bad sheep drawings and cowboy hats in bright pink and green icing on a chocolate cake.

Ellie will have as many screaming matches with Marlene and Maria as she wants, she doesn't like what they think about Joel.

Ellie finds it really embarrassing but hidden in her desk, a drawing of her and a giraffe lives. It's all shitty stick figures and only the names tell you what is happening but it's the first good memory Ellie had. The day Joel took them to the zoo to open Ellie up some and break the ice.

A giraffe stuffed animal from that same Zoo Trip lives on a shelf next to her first ever basketball trophy. It's kind of like a keepsake shelf.

One side of the fridge is covered top to counter in Polaroids of Ellie and Sarah and Joel. Mainly of Ellie and Sarah.

First time Sarah lost a tooth, Joel freaked. He was young and Tommy just laughed at him.

Neither girl has met Joel's parents. One parent is dead and the other lives states away for a reason, as Joel always puts it.

Joel is a personal purse for both of them. He's constantly got Ellie's chapstick, Sarah's hairtie, something of someone's in his pockets, on his person because they don't have any pockets or space.

Ellie has a garden she's very passionate about. Sarah helps her with it but Joel isn't allowed to. He stepped on one to many plants and he's banned.

Sarah and Ellie have scrapbooks of each other and then one of all their travel plans when they get older.

Sarah's good at art, and painted a mural on Ellie's wall of different flowers Ellie mentioned she loved.

Ellie's not so good at art but she is good at building and DIY things so she built Sarah her own little hangout space in the attic.

The attic is used to be storage but Sarah and Ellie use it as a hobby space and a hangout zone when Joel kicks them out of the living room for grown-up talk time