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#would i be myself if it was literally anything else??
elrxiel · 2 days
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"Bonus chapter ended Elriel!"
But here's the thing - it didn't have to.
If SJM had a change of heart during writing ACOSF or even before and decided that Gwyn and Az will be the final couple, she could have easily simply ignored writing anything about Azriel's feelings towards Elain. She could have not written about stolen glances - she could have written a scene where they have a conversation without any subtext, just a friendly encounter so the readers would get a clear sign - they are just friends, they are not interested in each other in any way. She could have switched the narrative - making Az behave towards any other character the way he behaves with Elain and making Elain not care, not look at him, not practically dying for him to kiss her.
But she did not.
Instead she wrote paragraphs saying Azriel cannot stand the smell of the mating bond between Elain and Lucien (which is alarming on its own, given the fact that he should not be able to smell it in the first place), that this man spent the last year almost sleepless because he keeps thinking about that girl and the gift she picked for him. She wrote Azriel questioning the Cauldron itself and Elain willing to risk it all even tho her mate was sleeping upstairs. SJM said directly with all of these "look, those two WANT each other, those scenes in previous books DID indicate that there is a mutual wanting between them".
Place yourself as an author for a second - would you really spend three books placing hints and scenes foreshadowing a couple only to "end" them in the bonus chapter, which most of the readers won't even know exist? Would you, knowing that you plan for other couples to be an endgame, wrote about things that literally point that those two characters are so into each other they don't give a single fuck about bonds and religion? Would you write another male guessing something only a mate should be able to guess, the same male being the only one noticing the woman is missing and going on a suicidal mission to get her back? Would you write "you came for me"? Would you write a full scene of this woman emerging from the shadows (the literal power of said male), using the blade he let touching only her? Would you write her buying gifts for him but not for any other man?
And finally, if you plan to make those two end up with different characters anyway, would you really write them like that? Az being the person pining for someone for 500 years and being the one knowing for ignoring orders, only to slowly develop feelings towards someone else who wants him back, would suddenly forget about it and move to a new girl in a heartbeat just because somebody said so? Elain being the person who stated blankly "I don't want him" indicating to her mate, being someone who shall wed for love, suddenly deciding "yes, you know what, I don't want this man who showed me nothing but kindness and who was the only one who actually saw and listened, who saved my life and then gave me a weapon to defend myself, I'm gonna be with my mate now, even tho I'm shrinking with discomfort whenever I'm near him". Even if it fits your fantasies, it does not fit the way characters were written. And at the end of the day, it's not the fantasies that matter. It's what has been written and given us to read and see ourselves.
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subaquatic0mess · 2 days
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Alenoah Hypnosis AU, where Alejandro offers to hypnotize Noah, Noah says yes but makes sure that Owen + Izzy + Tyler is around to make sure that Alejandro doesn't make him do anything too embarrassing...
But Alejandro only adds a hypnotic trigger... Whenever Alejandro offers Noah a hug, Noah feels a strong urge to cuddle Alejandro... It's Alejandro own way of playfully messing with Noah... Noah hates it (but secretly enjoys the cuddles)... Owen + Izzy + Tyler doesn't stop Alejandro from adding the trigger, cause they think the hugging might help the anti-social grumpy Noah...
NOAH (while hugging Alejandro): "I'll get you for this, you eel..." 🍥
I've induced myself into to much content about this idea already so I'll give you a quick response so that I don't become hella biased or just repeat something someone else might have already said. (Did I say quick? Fuck that, future me had other ideas.)
Something I would like to see is Noah gradually understanding how to suppress the urges of the hypnosis with Owen's help.
By that I don't mean he just randomly stopped being able to be hypnotised or something.
I mean that Noah would realize just hiw much control Alejandro had over him and he realized he couldn't do anything about it.
This then brings Noah to consistently try to explain to Owen how wrong this is and that he needs him to help him to not give in. Yet it wasn't that easy he knew that if that eel even doubted Noah was retaliating he'd most definitely put a stop to it.
So this ends up with Owen confused as he keeps recieveing mixed signals from Noah who seems to switch up almost completely when Alejandro joins the same room. (Noah isn't taking chances.)
So this ends up with Noah practically beggin Owen to pay attention to the next time he gets hypnotised.
This results in Owen seeing his best buddy go from his usual self to someone who wasn't there. The way Noah disassociated scared Owen a bit.
Now Owen would try to understand how he views Alejandro. Alejandro was supposed to be a good guy no? Why does this feel so wrong then?
The moment Noah would regain focus he'd probably be quite alarmed as his chubby buddy is quite literally having a crisis. See what I mean now Owen?
And this would result in the two slowly scheming a way of making sure Noah would be able to control the trigger of his hypnosis.
Owen making sure Noah avoided Alejandro.
Noah trying to concentrate on Owen rather than Alejandro.
Owen trying to distract Alejandro when he saw he was hypnotising Noah breaking his focus midway through. That last one was quite helpful. Hope is not something the cynic feels too often but this is important.
Hope.
Knowing that he can break even if only momentarily from Alejandro's grasp.
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Something I invision would maybe be Noah being able to free himself from his grasp but not emidiatly making it clear for anyone else. Besides Owen.
Like now they have the power over that eel. Ofcoirse this would work for only a little since I feel like after all of what happened Noah would be pissed.
And he isn't one to just express himself. He's too lazy for that.
And since he bottled up his anger I have a feeling there would be a moment where he would just burst?
It's not even about the hugs. Fuck that Noah wasn't even that pissed about that.
He was pissed Alejandro used that to make Noah shut up when he disagreed with him.
He felt as if he took his voice. It made him feel small.
He couldn't take it anymore. So blah blah angst and more heavy angst that I have no clue how to write properly. Srr!!
And then they would probably become quite begrudging of eachother as now things are quite tense.
From Alejandro's pov he didn't see no wrong in what he was doing. Maybe he might've have gone a bit overboard but- Noah allowed him. Did he just make Alejandro a fool of himself in international television?
For everyone to see? For his brother to see? For his parents?
Oh no. He can't bear that.
Did he do the same to Noah?
They're both torn at the moment. This is all my brain ranting srr if it makes no sense.
Credits to this anon, @total-drama-brainrot and they're anons awell for the inspo!
Idk what else to say!!!
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notetaeker · 1 day
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Hello!!! How did you become so dedicated to your studies? Do you have some advice?
I love your blog, btw✨️
Hi hi hi!! Thanks for the sweet message 💞💞
My BIG study tips (after 25 years of studying):
Accept your fate. This goes for anything but I used to procrastinate with studying a LOT and once you start it's actually not that bad. It's guaranteed. Automatically once you start, you have started, so you're already on your way, so it's already automatically not as bad anymore. Whining abt ur studies and avoiding them will not make them go away unfortunately. Just do it.
Make study time sacred. A few minutes of focused study is much more valuable than 5 hours spent at the library "studying" + scrolling + talking to friends + listening to music at the same time. Doing 5 hours like that is literally putting yourself thru hell because 1. you cant fully enjoy any of those non-studying activities and 2. you come out of that being like ugh I studied this page for 5 hours I'm tired of studying I need a break. Pomodoro method really changed my life pls try it out if u haven't already
That one tumblr post that says 'learning is basically being exposed to the same materials many times in multiple ways' is 100% correct. How many different ways can you expose yourself to the material. Memorizing facts- can you draw it? Can you organize the facts into lists? Can you attach a funny story to one of the facts? The more ways you interact with any material, the stronger it's saved in your memory. Find out if you're a visual learner- and then create visual tools, maybe color coding things helps you. Do a little digging and find out what works for you.
Diversify your life. Have some hobbies, spend time with friends/family, take a break. Let the computer of your brain sort out things in the background while you do other things. Once you go back to studying, you will feel refreshed (and not fatigued from 5 hrs in the library doing "studying") This also means that if you fail an exam, you won't be like 'oh no i spent my whole spring break studying for this exam and didn't even enjoy it and now I got a bad grade i must be horrible my life is nothing' and spiral. def not based on a true story :) Instead you'll be like yeah I failed but look at this scarf I crocheted look at mee i have mental health!
Sleep is magic- no matter what anyone else tries to tell you. 1. If you studied something during the day, just review those things right before bed and magically they will get set into your brain. Also 2. sleeping is when our brain sorts info so if you don't get any sleep at all it' the same as taking your study sheets and throwing them into the air, so when you ask your brain for the info during the test it's like lol it's around here somewhere. On the other hand, if you slept and gave ur brain time to sort it, when you ask for that info, it'll just open the right drawer and give u the info!
That's it for the big ones- if you want more specific advice feel free to ask! Also as a disclaimer, these 5 are all big life lessons that I had to learn thru trial and error, so consider these to be the advice I would give myself at a younger age. Pls don't be offended lol whenever I said 'you' I rlly was thinking abt myself.
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fairycosmos · 3 days
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Accidentally drank too much on an empty stomach last night and don't remember the last hour or so of the night so today I feel crazy embarrassed and ashamed even though according to my step tracker I just went on a walk around my neighborhood and according to my youtube history I was listening to 2000s pop punk. Yet I still feel like a criminal who needs to flee town I'm so sure I embarrassed myself. Why do I feel so much hangxiety?? I want the earth to swallow me up 😞
ughhhhhh youre literally so real like this has happened to me soooo many times and i know it's hell. i read something once about how it's just the alcohol that is still in ur system making the chemicals in your brain feel all off balanced and that's why even though you know you didn't do anything wrong the shame is still there. i always try to comfort myself by going through a quick mental checklist like did i hurt anyone? did i spend an insane amount of money? did i say anything objectiviely offensive? if the answer is no to all of those then i remind myself to just breathe through it bc nothing of note has happened, my brain is just a hungover hater. i know that's a lot easier said than done but honestly the feeling is only there until it inevitably fades and it will fade. i also notice that the more i think myself in circles about this trying to get rid of the shame and analyse it the harder it is to let it go so after the mental checklist i just recommend letting it be there, letting the feeling persist for however long it wants to and gently guiding your attention towards something else - a show, a hobby, a song, a walk, whatever. make sure you are watered and fed and get some more rest if needed. i'm srry you're going through this rn and i know words dont put a dent in it but honestly the burning anxiety will get smaller and smaller over the course of the next few days, promise. also side note i would love to walk around drunk and listen to 2000s pop punk with you! :^) x
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hunters-angel · 4 months
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while there are many things from the movie i want to gif, tonight i will only do the most important one
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being loveless does suck sometimes but less bc of some "ohnooo I'll never be able to loooove what will I ever doooo" bs but because how the hell do you tell the ppl around you that you view all relationships as business transactions where the currency is care and support and the reward is trust? How do you tell someone "hey so I could not care less about you as a person but also I enjoy every second we spend together and I'd fight the universe for you if you asked and if you ever disappeared I probably wouldn't miss you but I'd still cry for all the things we never got to experience together" without being the asshole?
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divorcedfiddleford · 6 months
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it is friday my dudes (little hearts added by @tazmiilly)
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designernishiki · 9 months
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it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions#and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety#but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake#AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior#is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out#of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and#maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about#it?’#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words#I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him#and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can#trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me#it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways#at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison#and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane#mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed#patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused#all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona#(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage#does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head#kazumaji#majima#kiryu#yakuza#kiwami 1#yk1#rambling
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spocks-kaathyra · 1 month
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youtube
star trek behind the scenes content my beloved. have u guys seen this
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dragoncarrion · 3 months
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can i stop pretending i dont get mad when i see people buying ocs and adopts for 500 dollars on the regular
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algolagniaa · 3 months
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ngl it’s always annoyed me how so many women talk about how not cleaning up after yourself is a Man thing and it’s so easy to do and you just need to do it and there’s no way anyone actually has trouble with it…… trust me I would love a clean house but actually making that happen is boring and overwhelming and time consuming and idk how anyone actually does it
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shoutout to those nights where the brain says We Literally Cant Do Anything Even Though We Really Want To <3
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radmista · 8 days
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Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake
#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update#she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back#i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat#im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it#bc what the fuck#i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages#and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things.#i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit#and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc#it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday#why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up#I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever#i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for#and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about#that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell#why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family#and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call#which gives them space to harass me about work and shit
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cinna-bunnie · 20 days
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why is it always the forbidden fruit that entices me the most (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠)
#🚶🏾‍♀️ not that it impacts the way i feel about anyone else but i actually do fr love my manager and it's crazy bc idk how or when this#happened. like i have fun by myself n i love my friends but i rly am at my happiest when I'm next to her huh (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) ♡⁠#and that is a wild way to feel about someone i work with let alone who supervises me akdkaka#i still can't believe how naturally and affirmingly “i love you” jumped out of me the other day without thinking about it#and i do??¿ after thinking about it??¿ i would literally do anything for you#and she said she loves me too 😵‍💫 and we've never articulated that before. and now our talks feel more personal than before but it#was a much bigger conversation for sure (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) she's out of work this week though and I'm thinking about her.#🚶🏾‍♀️i wanna show her my knife throwing but idkk...... struggling w where the line between professional and personal needs to be 💀#i treat my work friends and my real friends very differently lol. i don't know (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) aaa#now that i said it it's like a dam of feelings burst ૮ – ﻌ–ა girl...#she has a husband. but he's a scrub. but she's my boss. but we're already so sweet to each other. but i shouldn't. but i want to#aaauuugghghfhfghhghkhkjltlskxkvofjw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ignore me and my pining (⁠.⁠ ��❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠) ♡⁠ im crazy about that girl. i really am huh.. 🚶🏾‍♀️#if you got to hang out with her u would get it.... i can't believe her man ain't shit... pls let me give u my attention#u don't have to be mine nor am i wanting that but let me take care of you (⁠。⁠ノ⁠ω⁠\⁠。⁠) ♡⁠ u work so hard for everyone else#she's fantasizing.... ......... wanting.. contemplating...?..?? no. no....??¿......? ......... 😐 hm#lmao
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lesbiansforboromir · 7 months
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oh OH hO spicey ohhh having a spicey little tantrum about the boromir tag don't listen to me at all do NOT listen I mean it I mean it this is so petty
#text post#Gonna go ffffucking crazy- people have to bend so far over backwards to make Boromir bad that they just full out ignore his entire characte#and bend even further over backwards to make the elves all better than him too like jesus christ#oh is it BOROMIR who would be bitter about dying in the defense of Rohan??? whose despair is just so self serving and requires legolas to#slap him out of it yes uhuh that seems reasonable seems like BOROMIR would just hate the idea of dying for allies he so clearly loved#when in the full actual canonical scene of his death he dies for two random guys he met five months ago and all he has to say about it is#he failed he is sorry he has paid#BOROMIR definitely doesn't deal well with his own looming death and would definitely snap at other people about it ignoring all the decades#he has been under the looming shadow of death and has been known as not-grim and loved by many and has done his duty almost like#that is literally all his life has been up until this point#and of course of course it's ARAGORN who he's supposed to be fighting for because he's SOO impactful on Boromir's psyche he meant so much t#him apparently ggrsfsfgrrffffggfrgr#everyone wants to hit boromir oh yeah he's so annoying his hopelessness is such a burden and everyone else has to deal with him#if ANY of you go looking for what I'm talking about and do anything about it I'll slaughter you myself these are such inside thoughts the#comic is good#I shouldn't even be angry it's the natural conclusion from a story that tells you Boromir is bad but does not spell out that it's because h#isn't 'faithful' to god#they just tell you he is 'too despairing' and he 'desires power' and he 'doesn't have hope' (hope being a proxy for faith and Boromir not#believing in Aragorn means he doesn't believe in Eru's chosen leaders and his 'grand plan')#despair being a sin because it means you are selfishly giving into your own desires for a good life for you and the people you love#rather than accepting that all is God's plan and this life is only meaningful if you are defending Eru's right to the throne of the world#But that isn't spelled out so for despair to be treated as evil in the story people apply a secular understanding of 'bad despair'#already a TERRIBLE idea btw genuinely awful to percieve hopelessness as a personal moral failing#I suppose thats it actually the major reason it gets to me cus hopelessness and despair is a base aspect of my existence like#I am in despair pretty much constantly and I know a lot of other disabled people with similar sentiments#and the urging from people to 'have hope' is at this point sickening and infuriating and maddening to me it is disconnected from my reality#WHICH is demonstrably why I care about Boromir and Denethor so much no one meets them where they are no one sits in their reality with them#they are deeply relatable in their dealing with dispair namely; they just live and accomplish and strive along with their sarcasm and#black humour through their dark grueling lives and do what duty demands and try to hold onto their crumbling family relationships#and then they each have uniquely cathartic ends to those lives
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the-darklings · 2 years
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Did you know you’re considered one of the top Sandman (specifically Morpheus) blogs?
I AM????
Honestly not really, no. Thank you though! It means a lot to me. As you’ve probably noticed, I kinda keep to myself and only really interact with the fandom via my inbox aka you guys. Some bad past experiences have kinda left me wary, so I guess you could say I prefer my little swamp and just get happy to see familiar names and icons crop up—that’s enough for me. There’s no real tea here, most of it was behind closed doors, but I try to never assume anything or think anything of myself other than a writer with a passion.
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