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mariejordans · 10 months

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limoreau au ideas that i crave

1. ballet au—i’m thinking something like marie as the new ballerina in a ballet company and jordan as one of the veteran principal dancers who always gets cast for supporting roles, but never main bc management/casting is never quite sure how to cast them bc of their gender identity (bc management and casting are cowards basically) even though they’re one of the best dancers in the company (and everyone knows it.) so they’re always put in side roles that are comedic or gender-neutral (such as puck in a midsummer night’s dream or mercutio in romeo and juliet) and they’re like, SO frustrated, bc they want to be THE star, not just a side character. and so the end jordan’s contract is coming to an end soon and they’re very unsure if they’ll get a renewal, while marie is on a one year contract, so it’s also up in the air whether hers will be renewed too.

and then one day jordan and marie are randomly paired together for pas de deux (maybe it’s for a rehearsal or class/warm-up) and everyone is just floored by the instant chemistry and they end up getting cast in a brand new contemporary ballet set to premiere the following season bc the choreographer (i’m thinking maybe victoria?) just happens to also witness them and is inspired so much that they end up largely influencing the choreography and roles end up being specifically made for them.

and management is like, kinda nervous to allow them to be cast bc marie is like this freshly new ballerina who was just hired and is pretty much a rookie in all aspects, and they’re still worried about jordan’s marketability and such, but victoria vouches for them and fights super hard, so basically they can’t fuck it up at all bc it might be their only chance to really prove themselves and get their contract renewal.

and like the company is also putting on this super classic ballet (very much the opposite of the contemporary, which is very intense and sensual and dark) starring their two most popular principal dancers (luke and cate probs) and its very much implied that this new ballet has to perform as well as, if not better, than the classic ballet in order to secure their contract renewals. and so they really have to work together and help each other out so that they can both prove themselves.

also marie and jordan kinda hate each other at first bc like, marie was actually a big fan of jordans pre-getting into the company and were super excited to meet them until she finds out that jordan almost cost her a spot in the company, bc they just so happened to have seen her audition and mentioned to brink (who was on the auditioning panel) that she seemed too inexperienced and “not ready” etc etc (he ended up getting outvoted anyway bc the rest of the panel liked her) and so they basically can’t stand each other, which only makes the chemistry THAT more intense and palpable.

2. camp counselors au—marie and jordan are camp counselors at a vought summer camp for supe children. they both know each other vaguely from god u, specifically from an end of semester party where the two hooked up and had a one night stand. and so they are both totally shocked to see that the other is also working at the summer camp and the tension is still off the charts, but here’s the catch: there’s no fraternization policy between counselors, and if you’re caught hooking up with another counselor, you’re basically sent home.

and so, neither jordan or marie can afford to be sent home, so they really try to be “just friends” at first, but they just can’t stay away from one another, so there’s a LOT of sneaking around, stolen kisses and secret hook-ups. they eventually get caught at some point but like they just get slap on the wrist and sent back to their stations (apparently so many other people have broken the no fraternization rule it happens so often and they can’t fire everyone.)

the entire gang is also there (emma, cate, and marie share a cabin while luke, andre, sam, and jordan share another.) marie is in charge of arts and crafts, while jordan is a lifeguard (lifeguard jordan does things to me omg)

(also this plot is very much inspired by wildfire by hannah grace)

3. royalty au—just, this entire thread. it’s so perfect.

4. gossip girl/rich kids au—marie as a transfer student on scholarship to this very exclusive fancy boarding school. she’s there for one reason, and one reason only: to study, make valedictorian, and get into her dream university, [insert ivy league school here.] she quickly encounters the richest kids in school, a clique made up of luke riordan, andre anderson, cate dunlap, and, of course, jordan li. luke, andre, and cate warm up to marie pretty quickly, but jordan is very cold towards marie for no reason, and she doesn’t know why. but it doesn’t even matter, bc soon she realizes her biggest competition for valedictorian is jordan themself, and the two have their little academic rivals to lovers arc.

also, emma is marie’s boarding school roommate who mostly stays on the outskirts of the social scene (she’s happy to observe) but also always know all the gossip and the drama happening. and if it’s a true gossip girl au, someone like sam ends up being gossip girl lmao.

5. childhood friends au—basically canon but if marie and jordan had been as childhood best friends. like they used to live in the same neighborhood and would often play together as children, their parents were all friends; they were basically inseparable. and then when they started school, they would ride the bus together, they would do homework together. and marie being the first person to know about jordan’s powers and was there when they manifested, and was the first person to fully accept not only just their powers, but their identity as well.

but then marie’s dad gets a job offer in a different city, a different state, and at twelve and fourteen years old, the two are ripped apart for the first time. they promise to email each other everyday, and they do for two years straight until marie stops emailing one day. and jordan keeps trying to contact her, emails her constantly, tries for about a year until they give up. and they’re So angry at marie, bc it’s like they’ve been abandoned yet again. they’re So deeply hurt and betrayed. they tell themselves they don’t need her and they should just forget about her and they almost succeed.

they’ve almost managed to completely forget the best friend they’ve ever had until her application shows up in the crime-fighting applications database thing (or whatever its called idk.) and they’re like, just stunned, because as far as they were aware, marie was not a supe, and she had pretty much ceased to exist outside of distant memories from their childhood. and even then, it’s still as if she doesn’t exist, with her non-existent social media presence, and no experience in crime-fighting whatsoever.

and so they reject her application, bc of her lack of qualifications, because they weren’t prepared for her to exist to them again. they had just gotten used to her absence, and it still hurt them so bad that she had forgotten them so quickly. and even though they would hardly admit it, a part of them was trying to protect her, though from what exactly, they couldn’t say.

meanwhile, marie had been forced to stop emailing once she arrived at red river. and to be honest, even if she could, she doesn’t think she could’ve continued to email jordan like everything was fine. and so she cut off contact completely, even though it hurt her so much.

around the age of 16/17, marie realized she needed a plan to get out of red river. getting adopted was so unlikely, and she couldn’t stomach the thought of elmira. and then she saw jordan’s face on a brochure for a godolkin university and a plan begins to form in her mind. and when she gets the email that she’s been offered a full ride to god u, she finally lets herself hope. not only for future where she’s successful and her sister forgives her, but also that maybe jordan still remembers her and maybe they’ll be able to pick up where they left off all those years ago.

and marie is so disappointed that she let herself hope for that when she finally comes face to face with her old best friend years later and finds that they want nothing to do with her.

#okay so i got a bit carried away with some of these ideas……#seriously though limoreau writers feel free to steal these bc it’s very highly unlikely i’ll ever write them myself #for one i’m a shit writer #and for two i would probably never finish it anyway #also i know next to nothing about the ballet world my experience is limited to four years of ballet as a child and the tv show dance academ #so apologies for any wild inaccuracies #gen v #jordan li #marie moreau #limoreau #mariejordan #gen v au

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cerise-on-top · 7 months

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how long do you think it takes Kate and Valeria to day ‘I love you’ to their s/o’s? love ur stuff fyi!!! 💚

Hello! Thank you for liking my stuff, I hope this is enjoyable to you as well! I think it would take the both of them quite a while to say it!

When do Valeria and Laswell Finally Say “I Love You”?

Valeria: It would take her a while to say it. I mean, once she’s with you, she’s already smitten, but she says “I love you” in different ways that aren’t just saying those three words. Valeria courts you with lots of gifts, that much is true, but the closest thing you’ll ever hear from her that resembles a “You have my heart, I love you more than the sun loves the moon, than the ocean loves the land” would be her spending a day with you where she isn’t spending copious amounts of money on you. But that’s not what you asked. Valeria will tell you that she loves you when you’re feeling insecure since she never says it, but on her own accord? It would likely be a year or longer into your relationship, on one of those nights where the two of you are lying in bed together, just talking about your lives, what you’ve been through and how it’s shaped you as people. Just venting your worries, voicing your appreciation for each other and how you’ve helped one another. It’s during such a night, when you’ve gone quiet for a moment, that Valeria would hold you close and tell you, in a voice softer than what you’re used to normally from her, that she loves you.

Laswell: Like Valeria, she shows her love for you through different means. While she may be a gift giver as well, she also shows you how much she loves you by doing anything you may or may not ask of her. From chores, to walking your pet, to cooking you some stew when you’re sick. Laswell doesn’t say that she loves you from the get go either, it would take her several months to a year for her to say it. But when she does, it doesn’t seem like a special moment to anyone else. You’re probably hanging up your freshly washed clothes while she’s sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in hand. Laswell would get up, give you a kiss on your cheek, and tell you that she loves you so very dearly. She was overcome with adoration for you during that moment and needed to show you that she loves you. It’s afterwards that you get a lot more I love yous from her. Not on the daily still, but they would be more common. She will always, and I mean always, accompany her I love yous with some form of affectionate gesture, regardless of whether it be a kiss to your temple, a hug from behind, or a small lovely rose she found in a flower shop. You will always be taken care of and loved.

#cod #cod x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #kate laswell #kate laswell x reader #neither of them are too vocal when it comes to showing they love you but that's alright too #because one of them would watch the world burn down to warm you up with its flames #and the other one would break the world apart just to find you again in one of its crevices #they're not the most romantic people verbally but they'll always make sure that you feel loved and cared for #writing about the girls really makes me yearn for a girlfriend again!! where is my gf!!! I want one!!!#it's so sad that I've never met another lesbian irl either 😔 that is so sad I deserve a cute girl to hug in return for that #the yearning has been especially strong again as of late. especially since I saw a commission again yesterday #now I wish Valeria was way taller than me so she would look hot while looking down at me. but alas she's probably the same height as me #no amount of cute gir's love manga could ever cure my yearning I feel as though it's terminal 😔#will I continue to be cringe in the tags? absolutely! I've got another request for one of the girls. a really fun one too #looking forward to writing that one!#I'm gonna post three times today so I can get out all the requests again and be left to me imagining giving a cute girl a hug

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 7 months

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The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot #this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day #where she relayed an argument she had with her partner #who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes #and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see #and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence #when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it #(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post #again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so #also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive #being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire #it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed #she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it #because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them #whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner #in her adult life at least #and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted

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satorisoup · 2 months

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people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T

tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3

#tmnt yap in the taggies !!#would you believe me if i said my cat is named after donnie… teehee !! ^_^#i have been a tmnt lover since i was the ripe age of 6 years old SOBSOB #i used to write bf headcanons on wattpad way long ago… thats where my love for writing started i fear…#i probably have more tmnt merch than i do anime merch which is soso crazy to think about PHEW !!!#notebooks cups plushies legos shirts pajamas stickers tins action figs keychains name something and i have it… is that weird… SOB #im not joking when i say i know the entire lore and could explain everything from start to finish… FOR EACH AND EVERY REBOOT EVER…. wowza…#other than rottmnt because i’ve never been a fan of that reboot sigh…#the only reason donatello hamato isnt on my blorbie list is because i do not want to seem out of touch… he used to be there though !! :3 #also i love raph too sigh #i fear donnie was my start to my love for nerdy men… raph was for the mean ones… cough cough akaashi and bakugo #tall lanky men… yeah hes a turtle… i know… let me speak… pls… i beg… T^T #tmnt 2012 will always be my star my light my beloved #i can recite every single episode </3 ALSO THE 2014 & 2017 MOVIES DONT GET ME STARTED i have them on dvd :3 #i also have the 1990’s movies on dvd teehee theyre sososososoo good T^T my comfort franchise forever and always #i may always speak of anime but just know tmnt will always be the start of it all and my most beloved <3 its everything to me #also i was and still am an avid tmnt 2012 april oneil hater someone get her out of there i loathe her >:/#was never a supa big fan of leo im very sorry… idk who im sorry to… where are my tmnt fans… am i alone in this world… hello… tmnt fans…#omigosh im back after looking at my old wattpad story IM GIGGLING why was the writing kinda good… it was first person though sigh… goodness #i should create my own tmnt yap tag i fear… i will never shut up about it EVER SOBSOBSOB !! i even had a tmnt party when i was younger </3 #donnie ( & mikey ) are so misunderstood UGH i could yap about the lore all day. donnie deserved more recognition he was always doing so muc #FOR ALL of his brothers and they never appreciated it… ill cry right now. donnie you will always be famous to me. april doesnt deserve you.#raph and his temper are so misunderstood too like please. always making him the bad guy HE JUST WANTS TO BE A GOOD BROTHER HES JUST AWKWARD #remembering when i had a crush on a guy names joseph in first grade and he liked tmnt too… joseph just know we were soulmates… i promise </#i used to go up to the tv and kiss the screen when donnie showed up. i was like 6 years old tho its okay… still sleep with my stuffie tho.#thank you to my yaya for buying me that when i had the flu hes still in perfect condition SOB donatello i love you so much UGH im crying #‘thats a mutant turtle ew !!’ HE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND LOVEABLE TO ME. YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND EVERYPONY </3 nia reference woah hi nia :3 #whos in favor of tmnt. raise your hands up high so i can see them. im giggling. tmnt lovers rise we sha’ll prosper… WE RIDE AT DAWN 🦅🦅🦅#is this like totally crazy of me… has anyone read this far… if you have jusy know i love you. i cherish you. you are my everything <3 #₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ

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shannonsketches · 3 months

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He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌

(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)

#dbtag #Idk why Toei didn't lean into Vegeta being a version of Piccolo you could put in funnier situations like Toriyama wrote #He's reserved and professional and proud but JUST immature enough to bite down on a gag that Piccolo would readily swerve #But they take a lot of Goku's chaotic comedy away too in favor of Hero(tm) writing and that is why I keep pulling my hair out aklsjdlas #Toriyama was sO funny and it bums me out so much that the anime derailed how lighthearted and straight up silly the humor is #and replaced it with Misogyny Is Funny and humiliation kinks asjklfhadjk and it's not just my complaints about Vegeta and Bulma!!#“Goku is running away from his very reasonable wife because he is a goofy little guy who doesn't want to do his chores” becomes #“Chichi is Cruel to Goku who is Trying to be a good husband because she doesn't relate to his passions and vilifies him for having them"#which is not their dynamic at all but dudes in the writing room are like “being married is fucking awful amirite fellas hahaha”#but Toriyama was like “Being married is not for everybody but it can be really great if you and your partner are on the same page”#Chichi's reasonable! And Goku isn't romantically wired but Goku can enthusiastically consent to sex and still not enjoy kissing #those things can be and are true for a lot of people! And it makes even more sense if you hc Goku to be aspec (and audhd coded) like I do #Kissing can feel gross and can be a sensory overload for many folks. Doesn't mean they're stupid or innocent.#(although Goku CAN still ride nimbus so idk what Pure entails in this universe askljad)#Like I am the FIRST person to joke and drag Goku about his marriage as an aspec myself but like legit Goten is a Last Night On Earth baby #He knows what sex is. But also between how socially removed Goku is and how Shy and Conservative Chichi it's not out of line #to assume the actual words sex and kiss have never been spoken in that house skljdlajdf I FULLY believe Chichi uses code words #Chichi thinks her son being blonde makes him a delinquent and still uses honorifics with Goku like it is fully reasonable to assume #that the joke of Goku's naivetè centers around the fact that his wife is too embarrassed to talk about Certain Matters in a normal way #While Bulma and Vegeta are slutty hedonistic cityfolk who need jesus (according to chichi probably...and me but I support them)#anyway. point is. Toriyama was funny as hell and Nekomajin is absolutely ridiculous and goofy and has a fully amoral main character #which just reminded me that toei is allergic to letting goku be a gremlin and so vegeta's not allowed to be a gremlin wrangler #even though that's been his job since the day he met raditz alksdjaskljd

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 4 months

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i still haven’t written out my 261 metapost but i can’t stop thinking about the stsg subtext in that chapter . the parallels between geto slaughtering the village and gojo slaughtering the higher ups…. the fact that gojo does it right after declaring that he has to “catch up” to geto

#IT’S SOOOOOOO #i will die defending gege akutami’s character writing i’m sorry #i think the shinjuku arc is sloppy when it comes to pacing and some technical fight stuff #but character writing wise it’s SO fucking good it’s so incredible it drives me insane #character writing AND relationship writing #which imo are gege’s strongest points aside from fight choreography #like it just . drives me insane #it’s such an interesting line!!!#he needs to Catch Up to geto. he needs to make a choice for himself not knowing if it’s right or wrong just like he did #he needs to carry through with an extreme action to get the change he wants .#instead of the slow “root cause” method that he himself implemented #(which for the record would have been smarter in geto’s case but for gojo’s goal extreme violence Works )#i also think that on some level it’s like … kinda proving geto’s point?#“you could do it satoru.” he has the power to change the world almost however he wants and he finally used it #at the expense of his own morality and sense of reason. which does turn him into a “monster” narratively i think #i mean . obviously i don’t think gojo killing the higher ups makes him a bad person 😭 it’s a very big deal for gojo’s character though!!#he’s always been capable of cold pragmatism. and he’s always been willing to get his hands bloodied .#but NOT with humans/sorcerers and that’s the really big distinction . he’s not psychotic. he never has been.#i think gojo was probably scared when he decided to go through with it. because it really is him trading a piece of his humanity away #:((((((((((((#aughhhhhhhh gege akutami i love you but when i fucking catch youuuuuuuuuu #anyway i should rlly save all this for the metapost but 😭 i needed to get it out….#ari noises ✩#meta ✩#jjk manga spoilers #jjk spoilers #jjk 261

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itsalwaysforyou · 5 months

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jay not asking coach about letting lonnie onto the team bc he doesn’t want to do anything coach might disagree with…….

#‘coach trusts me…’ like what if i cried #man i wish they made more of a thing of jay being TEAM CAPTAIN #<- i’ve made a post before abt how easily he gives it up & jay not liking positions of power etc etc #but i do think he treats the role like it could be taken away at any moment #coach TRUSTS him. holy shit coach trusts him #the first positive adult figure in his life trusts him to take care of the team #train them and critique them and lead them to victory #and coach probably wouldn’t have cared abt lonnie being on the team #but jay is sooooo hesitant to ask #coming from the ‘if you want it take it and if you can’t take it break it’ guy #like this is the one thing he doesn’t want to risk breaking…….#and then obviously he gives it up!!!!!#he gives up the thing coach TRUSTED HIM WITH bc it was the only way to let lonnie on the team #& mr ‘my only dislike is women being unhappy’ was like I CANNOT REST UNTIL LONNIE IS ON THE TEAM #it’s suchhhhh a sweet gesture not only from a hashtag feminism standpoint #but also character wise for jay #like this precious thing that coach has trusted him with but didn’t really want that much anyway…..#it’s going to mean more to lonnie if she had it. even though it means everything to jay #oh it makes me crazy #damn my mum was right. i think too deeply about things #im like i analyse things a normal amount and then i’m writing essays about 1 line from descendants 2 #I AM UNWELL #anyway. jesus christ #descendants #jay son of jafar #EDIT i’m not finished actually #do you think jay fears the repercussions? what would happen if he went against coach’s word?#bc sure. he knows coach is nice. he knows auradon isn’t like the isle #but. ‘you don’t want to be at my house at dinner time’…….#he is still scared of his dad. you know. he can never get the lamp he can never do anything right

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skrunksthatwunk · 9 months

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you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

#before i maybe get yelled at:#1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even #though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism #2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them #3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have #encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in #nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally #about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person.#4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces #and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too.#5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided #tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla #6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things.#7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl #i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know?#8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this #nyarla dni #<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks #adding this wayy later but a crucial part of the experience i Almost talked about it this but never explicitly did was that like #the measures ppl take to 'defend against men' are often deeply transmisogynistic as well. obviously #and when i see that it hurts me too. not that it hits me the same way when strangers assume im a trans woman and hate me for it #but it doesn't feel good to see transphobia at all. i focused on how that relates to other kinds of transphobia #namely transandrophobia here but like. it's all connected. lesbain separatism + exclusionism relies on both and they aren't always #distinct experiences. ime. anyway trans ppl i love all of you forever #i just thought me writing “*turns to the camera* and trans women exp this too.' wouldve been too much even for this post #i figured the audience would like. know that. and so far it hasn't been an issue. i have not been yelled at thanks guys 🫶

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calliopeebles · 2 years

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inspired by the fact that i was talking about berdly on discord the other day and i later realized i was using my headcanons for him to talk about growing up autistic

#deltarune #berdly #this bird is AUTISTIC and THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT #...for real though #there's a lot about him that i can relate to #and i myself am on the spectrum and fairly open about it online #berdly is really really bad at reading people #and his social skills are comically poor #and i feel that y'know?#it feels like everyone else knows the rules to life and expects me to know them too but i just... don't. and they don't make sense #and i can never tell how people are feeling unless they come right out and say it #even if it's obvious #i too would probably fall for a lie told by someone who literally had the world LYING written on their face #...anways #i should write something more formal about an autistic reading of this character

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faaun · 5 months

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oh my god u rly are everyone you've ever loved !! for better or worse !! a part of you becomes them!

#i had a moment of lucidity idk im in this café the person i went on a few dates w is coming to see me i said come study w me #and they said okay immediately even though im a town over and i dont like them i really dont feel even a little attracted to them that way #but i did let them bite my neck a week ago and it still hurts i let them hold my hand i just #i never start anything #i let them kiss me. why do i do that? i dont feel anything towards them #and i told them ill probably never sleep with them and i thought thats enough but it really isnt is it #they write poetry about people they meet even once #theyre coming a whole town over to study w me but its not a date i feel nothing towards them romantically and i dont want to lose them as #a friend. this was her line of thinking wasnt it? i would take the train and meet her near her place in ldn and wed study together and #shed let me hold her and she would never initiate much and we were just studying together and it wasnt a date #like . fuck. i dont want to do what she djd to me to another person ever #their shared location map went offline at london bridge like ok theyre in the underground they are fr coming a whole town over #its a short distance but the point is i think i should have taken what my friend said more seriously . she told me i was kinda leading #them on bc what i thought to be just meetups dates might entail more for them #anyway im gonna be clear w them this time maybe #....IT JUST NEVER COMES UP IS THE THING #do i have to clarify even if it never comes up #i do in fact hear myself #ok #the parallels r lining up #aaa

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threadmonster · 3 months

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I got the Drrr!! Side stories novel and well, great, now I have to talk about transman!Shizuo ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠∵⁠ ⁠)⁠┌ what a shame.

Just imagine Shizuo already feeling insecure enough about his violent outbursts, he didn't need gender dysphoria on top of it. Of course he didn't actually know what any of that was he just knew girls weren't supposed to act that way. His gender was probably a target of the bullying. "That's not a girl, that's a gorilla." He quickly abandoned feminine clothing, he felt better in his body that way but the bullying didn't get better.

I think we can safely say that he has good parents and a good home life, but he still worried about disappointing his parents. Not only did they have to deal with his monstrous anger and strength, he didn't feel like a girl. He respects his parents so much that the idea of even chopping his hair off and hiding his body felt wrong.

By middle school he confides in Kasuka, who ended up giving him a hair cut. Their mother panicked and for a moment Shizuo thought she was mad that he would do such a thing, she always said how pretty his hair was. She ends up telling him, "If you wanted a haircut you should have just said so" and made an appointment.

He's still wearing the girls' uniform and tries to adhere to the gender norms. He causes enough problems, the least he can do is appreciate the body he was given no matter how uncomfortable going through puberty was.

Maybe puberty hit him too early and he was offered puberty blockers. He was hesitant and was gauging whether or not his parents would be upset but he could tell they really wanted him to make the choice he wanted.

So one day after a fight he gets pulled along by Tom and they're chatting. The conversation is awkward. Cutting his hair was one thing but bleaching it seemed entirely different. He didn't really understand why but he ended up "coming out" to Tom and was genuinely confused by the concept of transgender because up until now he only understood the general distaste that existed around crossdressers. He knew what gay and lesbian was and he never really thought much about his own preference. What was Tom talking about?

It was the first time being told something like "you don't seem much like a girl" felt like a compliment and validated him.

After that he bleached his hair and wore the boys' uniform. After that his parents brought up his treatment, they had taken notice of the changes in their daughter over the years and could tell he was ashamed to bring it up to them. They used the topic as a way to show they supported him no matter what and he managed to open up a little bit and they bought him a binder, switched words and pronouns.

Hanging around Tom really helped him come to terms with himself and slowly he shook the belief that he had to be a girl.

By highschool the rumors about him spread so much and altered that none of it was a problem. He could just be a guy.

But then there was Izaya. The rumors Izaya heard, he was expecting the monster to indeed be a girl. When they met, for a split second Shizuo had a fear, like if this person wanted to he could ruin the success Shizuo had with his transition and the public perception of him. But Izaya just frowned as he looked him up and down, "Ah so the monster really is a guy."

Shizuo was angry, of course, everything about this guy pissed him off. He was pretty sure he was actually being insulted too. Still there was a part of him that was absolutely ecstatic. Fighting with Izaya somehow ended up being a gender affirming activity.

He absolutely hates when Shinra says stuff like that though.

Something like that.

#{domino talks}#durarara #shizuo heiwajima #drrr!!#trans shizuo #izaya orihara #Shizaya if you squint #great now i have another post to write up #i love how Shizuo really is just this simple average guy (who is full of guilt and respect for others who show him basic kindness)#i'm glad he gets to live in peace now that izaya vanished from ikebukuro #the izaya spin off novels did cut me deep though like wow is he traumatized! and probably won't recover from it :(#but it would also ruin his character if he did imo. he would probably have to learn what self worth is. he never had any.

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