#wow! 5 OLD graphics on there!

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Dark Shades of Innocence Lost Part 5: Just Stay✨

Club owner! Joel Miller x fem! reader

Series Masterlist

Summary: Joel takes you on a date to his favorite diner.

A/N: This chapter gets angsty real quick, so I’m sorry 😭 But it’s so so important for the plot and the next chapter. We will get through it, besties 🥹 This fic is my baby, and I am just so happy with how it’s turning out. I want to hear all your thoughts! Thank you to @joelmillerisapunk for beta reading for me 💕 Next chapter is almost done so promise I won’t make you wait long! Comments and reblogs always make my day, I hope you enjoy 🩵

Word Count: 7.6k

Rating: Explicit 18+ only MDNI

Chapter tags: Fluff, Joel being cute and flirty, yearning, a lot of angst, feelings, doubts, no use y/n, no outbreak! au, Joel takes reader on a date, a lot of tears, switching POVs (I’m terrible with tags, so let me know if I missed anything!)

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

 It’s Thursday, the night of your dinner with Joel, and you’re currently sitting in his truck, twisting your fingers nervously into the fabric of your dress, your smile a mile wide as you listen to Joel’s Southern accent put you in a hypnotic trance.

   God, he’s so handsome. 

   “Think you’re gonna like this place,” Joel smiles as his thumb taps against the leather steering wheel. His truck hums to a stop in front of a lit up small diner that reads Sal’s in bright blue letters.

   “I’m sure I will.” You smile over at him before he puts the truck in park and unlatches his seat belt, slipping out of the driver’s side while you climb out the passenger’s door, pulling down your white summer dress over your thighs.

   The truck ride to dinner was anything but boring as you listened to Joel talk more about his daughter and some of their adventures they’ve been on before she went off to Greece to study abroad. You wondered what happened to Sarah’s mom, but maybe that was territory for another time. Besides, you still don't know what this thing is between you two, but it’s starting to feel a lot more like something serious and not just something casual. And that absolutely scares you to death. 

   “After you,” he nods as he holds the door open for you and leads you in, one large hand clasped on your lower back as if his touch is steadying your galloping heart.

   When you step in, an old jukebox sits at the entrance, lit up in neon green colors as an Elvis song vibrates through the overhead speakers. Leather booths sit against the brown painted walls as pictures of The Beatles, Marilyn Monroe, and old movie stars hang around the diner. It’s an old timey theme that goes with the bar that sits at the front with a big glass case of pies and desserts on display. It’s very homey and comforting.

   Yeah, you definitely like this place. 

   “Wow. This is really cozy,” you say as you look around all starry eyed at the little diner.

   Joel looks down at you, and a crooked grin tugs at his lips. “That it is.”

   A waitress in a red apron waves the both of you over with two crisp menus. “Hey, Joel! Table for two?” The perky brunette smiles as Joel nods. 

   “Hey, Kat. Yeah, table for two, please,” he replies as he pushes you forward in the direction of the back booth she leads you to.

   “Come here a lot?” you giggle.

   “How’d you guess?” He smirks, brown eyes flicking over you as he pulls his hand away, allowing you to slide in the leather seat across from him. His knees brush lightly against yours, and a jolt of energy bursts through your bloodstream.

   “So, what’s your go-to here? Since you obviously come here a lot,” you laugh as you pick up a plastic menu and scan the various burgers, sandwiches, milk shakes, and old fashioned dinner items that all sound absolutely delicious.

   You hear him chuckle over your menu, slowly lowering it so you can see that glimmer of onyx in his eyes as a smug smile crosses his lips. “Usually jus’ go for the old fashioned cheese burger and a chocolate shake.”

   “Not bad, Miller.” 

   He smiles and nods your way. “And you? What kind of shake girl are you?” He leans on his elbow on the polished table and gazes into your eyes. You have to catch your breath as you stare at him, his slicked back dark hair, grey threads catching under the dim lights, a dark blue flannel with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, the top buttons undone to expose dark hair peeking out from his muscular chest, his black watch glinting every time he turns his wrist. He’s just so good looking that he makes it really hard to concentrate on anything else. 

   You fold your arms on the table and gaze into honeysuckle eyes. “Usually just a strawberry shake kind of girl, if we’re talking classics.”

   He gives you a small smile, but before he can say anything else, the blonde waitress comes up to the table. “Well, what do we have here? Joel Miller bringing a girl to the diner? My, thought I’d never see the day,” she laughs as she sets two waters down on the table.

   Joel’s face reddens as he rakes a hand slowly down his greying scruff. “Guess I jus’ had to find the right one first,” he smiles, flicking his eyes over you as your breath catches in your throat. 

   He’s never brought a girl to his favorite restaurant before? You were… the first one? Oh.

   “I see,” she says as she takes a minute to trail her eyes over you. You see her mouthing ‘she’s pretty’ to Joel, and now it’s your turn to blush as Joel nods his head and lays his eyes over you again. “Well, what’ll it be? Your usual?” she asks, taking out a little notepad and a black ink pen to write with.

   “The usual for me. What do you want, sweetheart?” he asks, and you swear you see Sienna cup her mouth and giggle into it when he calls you sweetheart. 

   “Can I get the grilled cheese with French fries, and a strawberry shake?” you ask nicely as you hand her back the menu.

   “Sure can. Can I get you anything else?” she asks as she twirls the pen around her freshly manicured fingers.

   “Oh, can I also get a side of ranch?”

   “No problem. I’ll get that order in, and I’ll be right back with your shakes. Let me know if you need anything else.” She flips her blonde ponytail and flashes Joel a bright smile as she walks off toward the back.

   “Ranch dressin’, huh?” he chuckles, shifting his weight in his seat.

   “Only the best dipping sauce in the world,” you confirm with your head held high.

   He laughs and gives you a smile. “Haven’t tried that before. Guess I’ll have to tonight,” he beams.

   “Guess you will,” you say with a raised brow.

   You take a generous sip of water and swish the bendy straw around nervously, looking up from under your dark lashes as you take a deep breath. “So, first girl you’ve brought here?” you ask with your brows raised in question.

   He taps his index finger on the edge of the table and nods. “Besides Sarah, yeah. First girl.” Your eyes lock for a few seconds, and you feel your heart skip a beat at the intention that burns in his dark brown irises.

   The questions slur through your mind. Is this an actual date? Does this incredibly handsome man really like you? Is he wanting… more? Do you want more? 

   The tension gets interrupted as Sienna comes back and hands you your milkshakes. “Here ya go! Food should be out soon, sugar. Be back in a few.” She whisks away and leaves you two alone again. 

   You pull your eyes off Joel and slip a straw into your strawberry shake, mixing it around until your nerves dissolve into the liquid. “So, read anymore Fourth Wing?” you ask after taking a sip of your shake.

   Joel wipes his mouth with a napkin and dips his silver spoon into his chocolate shake. “Actually, quite a bit. Made it to chapter twenty-two.”

   You lift your eyebrows in surprise and smile. “Oh? And?”

   He drops the spoon from his mouth and spins it around his chocolate shake meticulously. “Pretty good. Dain’s kind of an asshole, but Violet’s kinda badass. And the dragons, the fighting? Not bad, angel. Can see why you like it.”

   You giggle and take another sip of the strawberry goodness, letting it slide down your throat as you feel it close up the moment his brown eyes flick back toward yours. “It is really good, just wait till you start the second book.”

   “The second book? Already think I’m gonna read the second book?” He smirks, one eyebrow stretched up as he licks his bottom lip clean of chocolate. The sight makes you weak in the knees. 

   “Figured you’d read it for me,” you whisper just loud enough for his mouth to drag up in a full on grin.

   “Well, when you put it that way, ‘course I will. I’d read anything you put in my hands,” he smiles. His knee brushes against yours, and your heart hammers in your chest as you engulf yourself in the smell of him, in his gorgeous brown eyes. Even from the wafts of burgers and fries, you can still smell that woodsy cologne floating around your senses. And you want to drown in the very essence of him.

   You bat your eyelashes at him and smile. “In that case, I’ll make you a list,” you giggle.

   “I’m holdin’ ya to it, angel,” he chuckles as he takes another generous sip from his chocolate shake.

   The music switches over to an old Beatles song, and after you stir the spoon around your shake, you decide to bring up Sarah again. “So, Sarah. She like this place as much as you?”

   Joel chuckles and shakes his head. “Nah, not as much as I do, but she does like it. Brought her here all the time when she was a kid.”

   You smile at that, thinking of Joel helping her up on one of the barstools, him laughing as he joked with his daughter, his warm smile gleaming in the sunlight as he took her on different adventures and did fatherly things like take her to the park, to the dinosaur museum, maybe even played Barbies with her. You giggle at the image of that. He must’ve been such a good father, you can see it in the way his eyes glisten and crinkle when he talks so fondly about her.

   Suddenly, you get the sudden urge to ask about her mother, wondering where she fit into all this. Surely she’s still around, maybe closer to Joel than you think. You work up the courage to ask as you stir the spoon mindlessly in your strawberry shake. “Hey Joel, can I ask you something?”

   “Anything,” he says automatically as his brown eyes lift up to yours.

   You gulp down your nerves and let them roll off your tongue. “Where’s Sarah’s mom?”

   Joel’s eyes widen at the question, and you automatically feel guilty for even bringing it up. He pushes back some tousled curls and sighs, wetting his bottom lip as his eyebrows crease tightly together. “She left us when Sarah was jus’ a baby. Jus’ up and left with no more than a folded note. Haven’t seen or heard from her since.”    

   Your mouth gapes open in shock, and his eyes gloss over with a hint of sadness as his fingers turn into a tight fist. You definitely struck a very sore topic, and you hate yourself for even asking now. “Oh my god, Joel. I’m so very sorry,” you reply shakily as you let your spoon drop with a plop into the glass cup.

   He shakes his head and sighs. “Don’t gotta apologize, sweetheart. ‘S not your fault. Besides, we made it jus’ fine without her. Didn’t even need her.” Again, you see the prickle of a held back tear, and you wish you could just brush away that part of the past for him.

   “Well, if it’s worth any consolation, I think you did a really good job. I mean, look at her. Studying to be an architect, traveling around the world? I’d say she took after her smart daddy,” you smirk. That sends a warm smile spreading wide over his mouth, and you can’t help but blush as his eyes flick to yours. 

   “Smart daddy, huh? That what I am?” He chuckles as he keeps his eyes locked on yours.

   You shrug and giggle. “I’d say so.” That makes a deep chuckle fall from his lips as he clasps his hands together on the table, rubbing against your outstretched hand.

   You catch your breath and meet his eyes again, nervously brushing your knee against his. “It’s her loss. She missed out on a great guy, didn’t know what she was missing, apparently.” His eyebrows draw together, and his eyes dim with a hint of a glimmer as a small smile curls around his mouth. He looks like he wants to say something with the way he’s looking at you all gentle and prideful, but you’re quickly interrupted as Sienna brings the food to the table.

   “Here you two go! Plates are a little hot, so be careful.” She lays the glass plates in front of the two of you with a curt nod and a playful wink as she turns to leave you alone again.

   You pick up a hot fry and dip it in the creamy ranch, scooting it over in Joel’s direction as you bite into warm goodness. “Go on, try it,” you giggle as he hesitantly dips his own fry into the white sauce, carefully bringing it to his plush lips. He takes a bite, and a surprising look glazes over his face.

   After a few seconds he gives you a small smile and goes back for another one. “Not bad, angel. Not bad at all.” You acknowledge it as a compliment and dig into your grilled cheese, knowing you just metaphorically saved a life by showing the powers of what ranch dressing can do.

   “Told you,” you laugh, taking a large bite out of the extra cheesy grilled cheese.

   “Mmm, sure did. Gotta start listenin’ to your suggestions more often,” he winks. You just push back a piece of loose hair and smile.

   The next half hour is spent delving into your food and flirting back and forth, brushing knees against one another, blushing and smiling probably more than you ever have in your entire life, and it’s all because of this man, this incredibly ridiculous hot, sweet man. How did you ever end up in a diner talking about life with Joel Miller? 

   Minutes go by, maybe hours. You don’t really keep track anymore. “You were in a band?” you laugh incredulously as you look at his gleaming eyes. 

   “Sure was. Played the lead guitar. Didn’t last long, but it was fun while it lasted.” He sits back in the booth and spreads his legs wide, like this is the most casual conversation ever and he’s actually enjoying himself. 

   “Do you still play?” you ask with hope glittering in your eyes.

   “Sure do. You ever tried?” His eyebrow raises with curiosity written all over those dark brown irises.

   You shake your head at that. “No, always wanted to try, just never got around to it.”

   He taps his index finger on the edge of the table, and a small smile curls around that beautiful mouth. “You wanna learn?” He threads his eyebrows together and leans forward, like he’s reaching for a certain answer.

   You bat your eyelashes up at him nervously and ask quietly. “Are you offering to teach me?”

   He shrugs his broad shoulders and nods. “If you wanna learn then absolutely. Not like I haven’t taught you a thing or two before.” He winks and the giant smirk makes you choke on your water because you know exactly what he’s talking about, and it’s not just guitar strings but something else he’s shown you with those thick, calloused fingers. 

   Heat floods your cheeks as you look into those smoldering coffee irises. The more you stare at him, the more you want to reach across the table and melt into his glowing soul. “Okay,” you say dreamily, resting your knuckles casually under your chin as you lean against the table and stare absentmindedly at the man with the pretty brown eyes. 

   “Is that a yes?” He pines, trying to wind his thick fingers around your skull as he searches for an answer that’s right on the tip of your bashful tongue. 

   “Like… at your club?” 

   He chuckles and shakes his head no. “No, sweetheart. At my house.”

   His house. You don’t know why, but the mention of that has something that feels a lot like bile rising in your throat. His house. That’s different than meeting at the club, even different than this. And suddenly, you realize just what this is, how much more it feels than just sleeping together. This is a date, and that makes your stomach clench in a tight knot at the very thought of what comes next. 

   When you don’t answer, he reaches over and lays a big hand on top of yours, his thumb sliding along the inside of your wrist as your vision tunnels. Oh god, what is he about to ask? 

   “I’ve been thinking…” He blinks a couple times and drops those beautiful brown eyes on you, giving you that million dollar smile that makes you weak at the knees. He sighs as he strokes his fingertips over your clammy skin. “What are we doin’ here, angel?”  

   Your heart halts, and for a second you can’t even breathe, nonetheless speak like a normal human being. “What do you mean?” The words are barely a whisper as they ghost through your lips, your hand tightening against the tabletop.

   You know exactly what he means, you’re just too scared to hear those words come out of his mouth.

   He slides a hand through his greying scruff and stifles a deep laugh, and then his eyes are piercing through yours like the morning sunrise on a rainy day. “I mean… us.”

   “Us?” Your voice is full on shaking, and your breathing is anything but normal now. 

   He lets out a sigh that sounds a little like frustration, but he doesn’t let his smile and warm eyes falter. “Yeah, us. Me and you, angel. What are we doin’?” 

   “I… uhhh… we…” Your words are nonexistent, only a form of mumbling and jumbled sounds spilling from your mouth. Joel’s gaze flinches as he waits, his fingertips becoming shaky and dismantled as his jaw ticks. And fuck why can’t you say the words? That you do want him. You want this, you just want everything from this incredible man, but fear stops you. And then the next words that fall from your lips completely ruin you.

   You press your knees together and bite your nails into the flesh of your thigh, grinding the words you don’t want to say out like nails clawing down chalkboards. “I mean… we’re just having fun, right?” His jaw immediately drops.

   Shit. You’ve just ruined everything.

   He pulls back from you, dropping his hand onto his side of the table, and he looks completely wrecked. You see the light in his brown eyes die as he clenches his jaw into a tight fist and runs his hand unruly through his tousled curls. 

   Shit shit shit.

   “Jus’ havin’ fun? Is that all we’re doin’?” His voice sounds garbled like he’s drowning under a faucet, and you start to tremble in place. 

   Say something, anything to take back what you said. For the love of god, reach for him! But you don’t move, your hand doesn’t even twitch, even though all you want to do is reach for that hand, his arms, his heart. Fuck. But you don’t move. You don’t do a damn thing but freeze.

   “I — uhhh… mhm.” You can’t even look at him when you say it because there’s shame written all over your pathetic face, and you really don’t want to look into those disappointed eyes that are reddening with held back tears. 

   “That right? This right here is all jus’… fun.” His voice is smothered in disappointment, and you swear you hear him mention something about how it was all some game, and that fucking breaks you. This isn’t a game to you, but you can’t seem to make your voice work. 

   He stares at you, his eyes darkening as a deep scowl forms on his lips. He’s waiting for an answer, but you just can’t do anything to make this better. So you mutter words you don’t mean out. “I… I don’t know.” The look of instant regret threads his face, and he looks like he just found out his dog got run over with the speckles of tears that push through his tormented eyes. And now, you can’t even look at him.

   You’re such a fucking coward. 

   And just to make it worse, the fucking waitress interrupts. “You two lovebirds want some pie?” she asks sweetly. The question makes you sick.

   “Nah, think we’re done here. Jus’ bring me the check.” The sounds from his heavy words hit you like a car crash, and you feel regret caving hard in your clenched gut for what you’ve just done.

   You dare to take a peek up from under your long lashes, but you regret it the moment you see that weathered stare, that stone-like face that tells you enough. He’s just as devastated as you. Because he thought this was more, and it should be more. But you’re just a girl with a fucked up past who just can’t seem to let go, so you ruin everything you touch. 

   You’re nothing but a disappointment. 

   You flick your gaze down to your curled fingers that almost tear through your soft pink dress. This was a special dress, one you thought Joel would like, one you were so excited to wear because his eyes lit up the moment he saw you in it. And now? Now you just feel like Cinderella when her stepsisters tore her favorite, special dress to shreds. You’re nothing but fire ashes that burnt out long ago.

   Sienna comes back, and Joel leaves her a fifty dollar bill, not bothering to wait for any change. He doesn’t even say your name when he gets up, he just stands at the door silently and waits for you to follow without even one lingering gaze. You feel just like a lost puppy who lost their favorite owner, and you swear you die right on the spot when you brush up against him and feel him pull back, like you’ve just burned him. 

   But you did burn him. You scorched him alive. 

   The truck ride back to your apartment is soundless, the only noise is the faint hum of the engine as the tires drive along the dark road. His music is even muted. Every time you look over he’s either pinching the bridge of his nose, raking a hand heavily through his beard with concern etched painfully in his eyes, or running his fingers roughly through his now disheveled hair. He looks like he’s just been through hell. You did that, you fucking did that. Goddamn it! 

   You lick your bottom lip nervously, feeling your fingers start to rip through the bottom of your dress. You’re clawing your legs so fiercely that you’re about to lose your fucking mind because you can’t say what you really want to say. So you just stay silent; you just don’t have the energy to do anything else at this point.

   When he finally pulls up to your door after that painful ride, he puts the truck in park and keeps one hand clenched tight around the leather steering wheel, only facing forward as his lips form a tight line.

   You slowly unbuckle your seatbelt and look at him with swimming eyes, your vision starting to blur as you compose your shaky breath. “I uhh… I had a nice time tonight, Joel. Thank you for dinner.” 

   His knuckles squeeze the steering wheel tighter, and he barely even looks over at you as he fights to make words tear out of his mouth. “It was no trouble.” No ‘you’re welcome’ or ‘I had a nice time too, angel’. And that makes you want to die.

   You curl your fingers around the door handle and pry it open with a shaky hand, but before you slip out you say one more thing that you think will save this whole messed up situation. “Maybe… maybe you could give me that guitar lesson?”

   He gulps down a breath and ticks his jaw, his face looking straight forward so he doesn’t have to look you in the eyes. “I… I’ll see you around.”

   It’s over. 

   Your face drops like your heart does in your chest, and you mindlessly step out and let the door close behind you. He pulls out instantly and leaves you standing there alone, tears streaming down your face as you watch the headlights disappear like they were never there in the first place.

   You stay frozen in that spot, letting the chill of the night breeze past your bare arms, your eyes bloodshot and wide as you replay the end of the dinner, the part where you fucked it all up.

   Your fault, your fault, your fault. And suddenly, you feel as if you just ruined your entire life. 

   You drag yourself into the apartment, not even bothering to turn on the lights as you slide beneath your cool sheets and shed the tears you held in the past half hour. You let them fall until you can’t breathe, until you can’t think about anything but those sad doe eyes. And that’s the last thing you remember until sleep drags you under. And then there’s just darkness and nothing else but your own stupid mistakes playing through an endless nightmare.

   He moves in a fog the next week, his body lethargic and numb as he pushes past blocks of bodies, the echoing music drowning through his ears as he goes through repeated motions he can barely tolerate. 

   He spends the evenings in the club tucked away in his office where no one can touch him, where he’s not reminded of your beautiful eyes or your dimpled smile. His hand clenches around the whiskey glass as cold droplets collect where his lips meet the edge of the cup, slow sips drinking in the relaxing sting that numbs his buzzing body.

   You were supposed to be his, but instead you’re just a ghost that materializes in his memory every fucking moment of every gut wrenching day.

   He lets the sting soothe him as he taps his thumb mindlessly against the glass, staring at endless paperwork that keeps piling like someone else will do it. But he lets it sit and sit until the words start to blur on the page, until he’s completely numb from the traces of your last words you ever said to him.

   Maybe you could give me that guitar lesson… 

   And he just fucking drove off and left you all alone without so much as one word to soothe you over. He’s a fucking asshole, but what could he say? You don’t want him like he so desperately wants you. But he really thought you did… he was fucking wrong.

   He flips his phone back and forth in his palm, lighting up the screen just long enough to stare at your name and the message button that seems to burn through his eyes. He sighs and lets the phone fall to the desk, turning it face down so he can’t see your name as the pain sets like fire in his chest. 

   He groans, fisting his disheveled curls through his fingers as he leans his elbows against the covered desk, quietly cursing as he fights to grab his phone and hit the call button. But then he remembers that you don’t want him. Not like he wants you.

   He lets out a growl, numbing his mind a little more with the poison he feeds himself, letting lies run rampant through his mind as he fights to see where he went wrong. He thought you wanted him, wanted more. Where the fuck did he go wrong?

   He’s so deep in his racing thoughts that he barely hears the door handle jiggle, almost missing his brother that slips in out of the blaring noise of the club.

   “Uhh, Joel? You alright there, brother? You’re not lookin’ so hot,” Tommy says slowly as he paces cautiously up to the edge of the mahogany desk. 

   “I’m fine,” he bites out, a little too harsh as his clipped tone makes Tommy’s mouth tighten.

   “If you say so.” He threads his fingers through his greasy black hair that’s slicked back with gel and nods at the messy pile. “You a little behind on paperwork?”

   Joel scowls as he clenches his jaw. “I’ll get to it. Jus’ had some other shit come up.” He’s not meaning to come off angry, but that’s what he is. Angry, hurt, shocked, torn apart. Fuck. One girl and his entire world goes to shit.

   “You need some help with it?” He nods to the pile again and crosses his arms over his button-up long sleeved black shirt. 

   “No, I think I can handle it.” But can he really handle it? Not at all.

   “Oh okay…” He presses into the back of his leather cowboy boots and shifts his weight uncomfortably. “Well, the boys are here waitin’.”

   Joel’s eyes fall as he realizes today is Thursday. The day carved out to play pool with his friends. “Shit, I totally forgot,” he groans, pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes as if he can get rid of the pounding headache that’s taking over his body.

   “You never forget. Joel, are you sure you’re okay?” Tommy’s dark eyebrows are furrowed together as his wide brown eyes edge with concern. 

   “I’m… I’m fine, Tommy,” he answers defeatedly as he lies through his teeth. 

   Tommy sees right through him, and it doesn’t take him long to realize just why he’s so fucked up in the head right now. “Hey, I haven’t seen that girl around lately. You know, the really pretty, sweet one? The one whose eyes light up when she’s near you.”

   Joel sighs and closes his eyes for a breath of a second, his stomach dropping to the floor as he sucks in a painful breath. “She… no. Haven’t talked to her lately, Tommy.”

   “Oh.” Joel hears the disappointment clearly in his tone, and he really doesn't want to explain just why he hasn’t talked to you. It’s too… painful. “You wanna talk about it?”

   “No. Jus’ drop it.” His voice comes out clipped, and he has no strength to even apologize for being so short with Tommy. 

   “Alright, alright. I won’t ask.” He raises his hands in defeat and knocks on the edge of the desk. “You wanna come play pool? Maybe have another drink?”

   Joel shakes his head no and sighs deeply. “Not tonight, Tommy. Maybe next week.”

   Tommy decides to leave it at that, promising to tell the boys he’ll try his best to make it next week. Joel doesn’t say a word, just lets Tommy believe he’ll be feeling better by then, but he knows he won’t. He’ll still be this. 

   Before Tommy leaves, he peeks his head over his shoulder and tries to comfort Joel the best he knows how. “Hey, if you ever wanna talk, my door is always open. Whenever, night or day. I’m here for you.” Joel just nods and lets his brother fade through the door, closing it as silence takes over his lonely office again.

   He pulls his phone out again, flipping through his contacts until he sees your name scrawled on the screen, except in your place is the word Angel with a little halo emoji right next to it. He suddenly breaks, fingers clenching the edges of the phone so tight that it falls to the floor, making your name disappear from his line of sight as his phone goes dead.

   Angry, hot tears brim over his eyeline, and then he’s losing all self control as the bitter taste of regret sinks in. He stands up and pushes the overwhelming pile of paperwork to the floor, throwing the whiskey glass at the wall as glass shatters and liquid falls down the black wallpaper. He sends the lamp over the edge next, hearing it crack as his heart breaks just like the pieces of broken glass that litters against the polished floors.

   He screams bloody murder as the feeling of pain overwhelms his insides, but the bumping music outside of the room mutes his cries. He topples in the chair, almost gouging his eyes out as his palms press firmly into his eyes, letting the hot tears roll down his sunken face.

   He can’t do this. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever. He didn’t plan on falling for you, but he fell harder than he’s ever fallen. And goddamn it, he never meant to fall in love with you, but he did and look where that left him. 

   Alone and heartbroken.

   But that’s what happens in continuous hookups where lines are blurred and no boundaries get set. People end up hurt or attached or fall hopelessly in love. And he did, all of those. But he never thought it could ever hurt this bad.

   All he wanted since the moment he met you was you. And now, you were just the dark silhouette sitting in the corner of his office. A ghost that never should’ve faded away. But look at you now, just gone, like your deep red lips he never even got to kiss, but god, he wishes he would’ve gotten to taste those sweet lips that probably taste like honey. He’ll regret it until the day he dies.

   He should’ve fucking known better than to let it go this far, but it did. And now? He’s lost you for good.

  Two weeks go by and you hear nothing from Joel. You send a couple of texts, each very short. You talk yourself out of it, but you at least need to try. The only kind of response you get is the texting bubbles that shortly disappear after leaving you on read.

   You walk around in a daze, everything foggy and blurry as you fight to even keep upright most days. You fucked up the best thing that’s ever happened to you all because you were scared to be hurt again. But where did that get you? It just left you devastated and more hurt than you could’ve possibly imagined. 

   You lose sleep, can barely tolerate the blinding sunlight that reminds you of that damn smile that you probably won’t get to ever see again. You should’ve kissed him, should’ve told him how you felt, should’ve told him about your past you really didn’t want to bring up again, but you were so fucking broken that you couldn’t manage to do any one of those things. 

   What would your therapist say to all of this? She’d probably scold you and shove more medications at you that you refuse to take. But what’s worse? Not feeling anything or reliving this insufferable pain day after day all because you couldn’t make your words or actions work.

   Jesus, you’re a real piece of work. Joel was lucky he got out when he did. You’re such a fucking mess, but you’re an even bigger mess without him.

   You stare at the text thread between you and Joel, mindlessly looking for any life behind that screen, reaching for just an ounce of reassurance that he isn’t really gone, but you get none. He’s gone. 

   The unanswered texts start to blur as tears fill your eyes, and then the panic sets in. The inevitable fear of abandonment and loss hits you like a blinding lightning strike, and then the anxious thoughts and debilitating emotional turmoil takes a hit. Joel isn’t coming back for you.

   You click Brianna’s number so fast that you drop your phone and pick it up frantically, fumbling with the flimsy case until you have enough of a hold on it that you start to hyperventilate.

   Pick up, pick up, pick up.

   Just when you think she’ll let it go to voicemail, she answers with a giddy ring to her voice. “Hey, stranger! You’ve been quiet lately. What’s up? You wanna go out tonight?”

   “Bri, I fucked up. I fucked everything up!” Your voice cracks, and the tears start to fall like raindrops down your skin. You can barely hold the phone to your ear because your hand is shaking so badly.

   “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there. Breathe. What happened?”

   “He… Joel… I…” You can’t even form a coherent sentence because you’re stumbling over your own racing thoughts, and your breathing is almost nonexistent. You’re just a shuddering mess.

   “Hey, calm down. Babe, can you tell me what happened?” Her voice is patient, but you know she’s freaking out on the end of the line because you hear her car keys jingle in her hand. 

   “I… fuck, Bri. I blew it. He left… the questions… I couldn’t…”

   “Listen to me. Do you need me to come over?”

   “No, I’m… fine.” But you’re not fine, you’re far from it.

   “You’re not fucking fine. Did that asshole hurt you?”

   “No, just… no…”

   “Fuck it, I’m coming over. Be over in ten minutes.” The phone line goes dead, and all you hear is silence as you hold the phone to your ear, waiting for nothing as you freeze and collapse.

   You fall into the velvet couch and bring your knees to your chest, covering your eyes as you let the tears soak the material of your yoga pants, clinging to a reality that you just don’t want to deal with now. You don’t want to think about Joel, don’t want to think about how you haven’t heard from him in two weeks, don’t want to think about how fucking badly you want his strong arms around you, and you definitely don’t want to think about how you just ruined the one chance you had to keep the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

   You sink into the crevice of the couch, squeezing your eyes closed as tears ricochet down your eyelashes. You faintly hear the rain drizzle from your kitchen window, tapping against the glass like it hears your swallowed cries filling the empty room. It’s just you, the flickering vanilla candle, and your muted cries that fill the staggering silence of your space.

   And just when you think you’ve felt the worst, the grief consumes you as those sad brown eyes flicker in your spotty mind. A ghost of the past that haunts your every waking thoughts, and it just reminds you how wrong you went.

   Your fault, your fault, your fault.

   You’re so busy replaying the scenes from dinner that you barely hear the door being opened. You don’t even notice anyone’s here until Brianna is kneeling down in front of the couch, carefully pulling your knees down so she can look into your red-rimmed eyes. 

   She places a hand gently on your knee, giving you those sad brown eyes that remind you a whole lot like how Joel looked after you ruined it all. Another tear drips down your cheek, and then she’s soothingly pressing her palm against your thigh. 

   “Hey, I’m here now.” Her voice is dulcet, and her familiar cotton candy perfume calms you down just like her soothing voice always does when you’re having a breakdown. And in these moments you’re just so lucky to have a friend like her that’ll drop everything just to make sure you’re okay.

   “Hi.” Your voice cracks, and you hear a quiet sigh that sounds a lot like genuine sympathy for you. 

   “You wanna talk about it?” She asks in a somber tone, one that’s not pulling for information, just someone that wants to let you decide what you’re comfortable with talking about.

   You slowly nod your head as another tear falls from your tainted face. “When Joel took me out for dinner, he asked what we were, what we were doing. And I… I fucked up. I told him we were just having fun, that none of this was serious. And then… then…” You clench your jaw and fist your fingers into the sunken couch, trying to catch your breath to finish, but Brianna cuts in.

   “Oh, babe. No.” Her blonde curls fall into her gentle face, and her light brown eyes glimmer with sympathy as she realizes why you were so worked up over the phone.

   Your face falls, and you fight to get the rest of the words out through your gritted teeth. “You should’ve seen how wrecked he looked when I answered, Bri. It was… I never thought looking into a man’s eyes would break me, but that did. He looked so sad…” Your fumbled words deceive you as you break into a sob, Brianna quickly brushing a tear away as she meets your deep red eyes.

   “I’m so sorry, babe. Have you… has he talked to you since?” She asks hesitantly.

   You shake your head and let your gaze drop to the carpeted floor. “No. I tried texting him a couple times, but he just left me on read…”

   The room grows silent for a minute as Brianna’s brown eyes gaze up at you, her golden locks shining in the glimmer of the faint light from the dark fluffy clouds outside. She takes a beat to figure out what she wants to say and when she does, it’s like a soft hug that folds across your entire body. “I think… I think he might be hurting just as bad as you right now. And maybe, just maybe he needed a little space to sort out his feelings? Because from the sounds of it, I think he wanted it to be more. I think he likes you a lot.”

   You purse your lips and flick your eyes back to her, trying to shift through her words as they ring bells in your mind. “You really think he wanted more?”

   She nods her head and places a warm palm over your shaky fingers. “I know he did.” 

   Those words just make you shake and start to sob all over as you let messy words spill from your parted lips. “Bri, I wanted to tell him so badly how I felt. How I wanted it to be more, how he’s literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me. That he… makes me feel safe and wanted.”

   “Oh, babe,” she sighs sympathetically. “Look, you’ve been through some of the roughest shit I’ve ever seen, but you know what? You’re the strongest, most empathetic, sweetest friend I’ve ever met in my entire existence. And he’d be so lucky to have you.”

   “But he doesn’t want me anymore!” Your voice tethers through the room like a broken record, and you fight to stay composed.

   “You sure about that?” She cocks her head and gives you that look that says you’re absolutely wrong.

   “He won’t talk to me, Bri. And the way he left… well… it sounded like he was saying goodbye.” You hold your breath and wait for the backlash she’s about to give you, but it never comes. There’s only soft words that numb your heavy brain.

   “Hey. Let me ask you this, do you want to be with him?”

   “Bri…”

   “Just answer me, okay? Do you want him?” She emphasizes the word want, and her doe eyes glaze up at you with pure softness.

   You gulp and let the word fall dry. “Yes.”

   “Then you’re going to get him back,” she smiles, her glittery pink lips curling into warmth.

   “What?” Your eyes blow wide, and your hands fall straight to your sides.

   “Tomorrow you’re going to walk into that club, and you’re going to tell him exactly how you feel,” she said adamantly.

   “No, Bri. I can’t. I…”

   She holds up a palm and nods. “You can, babe. I know how much you like him; I can tell by the glow in your eyes every time you talk about him, and your smile? I haven’t seen you that happy in a few years. You’re positively radiant, just like you should be.”

   You sigh and shake your head distraughtly. “I was happy until I went and fucked it all up,” you mumble under your breath.

   She dips her fingers under your chin and pulls your eyes up to meet hers. “He’d be foolish not to listen to you and take you back, babe. Just trust me on this, okay? He still wants you. I know he does.”

   “How do you know?” You mutter out with pursed lips.

   “I just have this feeling, okay? You can do this, you will do this. I know you can.” Her smooth voice is so confident in you that you almost believe her. Maybe you can do this, but you have a feeling you’ll just fall and get left behind again.

   You curl your lips into a small smile and wipe the last of the tears away with the back of your hand. “Thanks for making me feel a little better, Bri. You’re a really great friend.” You give her hand a tight squeeze and show her just how much she means to you.

   She scoffs and flips her golden hair behind her shoulder. “Oh, don’t you get all sappy on me. Come on. I’m taking you to get ice cream.” She tugs you off the couch and drags you through the front door, not even bothering to let you grab your card. “This one’s on me, babe. Let’s forget about men and go soak in some sugary goodness tonight.”

   “Sounds good to me,” you smile as she leads you down the winding sidewalk. 

   Maybe she’s right, maybe you can do this, after all. But the fear grabs a hold of your throat and holds back any faith you have in yourself. You’re going to fucking choke and ruin it all again. But you have to try because living without him isn’t something you even want to think about.    

You don’t want to be without him because you’re pretty sure you’re in love with him.

[blackypanther9]

How they met

WARNING!: Mention of abuse, bullying, cursing, attempt of suicide, mention of sexual abuse (Really just mentioned, nothing graphic), mention of murder AND MORE ! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!!

A/N: All these warnings are because I am mentioning M/n’s past. Don’t worry, it happened, most will just be mentioned and Alastor will be there for him. Besides the attempt of S...that is because of something else. But I won’t spoil the Oneshot ! Enjoy !

Words: 5 530

It was cold and it was getting dark. M/n was freezing. His parents abandoned him, saying he was just a burden and then left him in some alley. Now he was in a big forest, lost, cold, hungry and thirsty…with a Murderer on the loose.

He lived in New Orleans, Louisiana and the Bayou Killer was making himself very known. M/n knew that he was fucked if the Killer chose him next and that he is lost in a forest doesn’t help either. He was only 6 years old damn it.

CRUNCH.

M/n stopped dead in his tracks and hid behind a tree. As he peaked out he saw a man with a gun in his hand. It looked like a Hunter’s gun. M/n gulped.

‘What choice did I have…?’

He stepped out of his spot and then ran over into the man’s direction. Just then he saw a smile on his face. It looked…off but also very welcoming at the same time…

“Sir ?! Sir ! Excuse me !”, the little boy yelled.

His voice was very hoarse and shaky, but the male seemed to have heard him, because he stopped and turned to the boy’s direction.

M/n was so glad to have found someone that could, maybe, help him. He sped up but yelped as he felt his legs go numb and he fell into the snow face first, shivering even more.

‘Great… I’m a fucking pathetic excuse of a kid…’

He heard footsteps coming closer and soon he saw the gun being put aside. M/n tried to use his arms to get up, but they were just as numb as his legs and they gave out.

“Calm down, little one. How long have you been out here ? How did you even get here ?”, the man asked worried slightly, trying to help him up.

“I don’t know how long I have been out here… I just know it was before I had Lunch… My parents abandoned me because I am a burden and now I am here. I got lost… I just wanted to look around and then I saw a fawn and followed it to its Mom and then…I was lost.”

The male tried to make the boy stand, while he listened, but he noticed quickly that the boy’s limbs were very numb from the cold. He wasn’t dressed properly. He was in a thin pullover, some pants and had normal shoes on. He was surprised that the boy even made it so far.

“You are all frozen up… C’mon, I will take you to my house and we will warm you up.”

“Okay… What is your name, Sir ?”

“Alastor. What is yours ?”

“M/n…Just M/n.”

Alastor smiled and then took off his coat and wrapped M/n inside it, picked him up and then grabbed his gun, then they walked to his home.

“Thank you, Sir…”, M/n said shyly.

“Call me Alastor, Kiddo.”

“Okay, Alastor.”

With that they continued on in silence until they got to his house.

“Wow… Your house is so big and looks so comfy !”, M/n said.

“It sure is. And the inside is very nice too and soon will be very warm for you to warm up, little one.”, Alastor chuckled out.

“You are very kind, Alastor…”

“Applesauce ! Anyone would have helped a child like you !”

M/n frowned.

“Not really. I asked some people to help me for at least 1 day and they all rejected.”

Alastor’s left eye twitched at that.

How DARE these creatures to turn away a helpless child ?!

“Well then, you can stay with me until you are old enough !”

“What ?!”, M/n yelled with wide eyes of shock.

“You heard me.”

“B-but I will just be a waste of your time until then ! I mean there must have been a reason why my OWN parents didn’t want me anymore ! Why would you want to take care of me ?”

Alastor lost his smile for a little bit and looked at M/n with serious eyes.

“You won’t be a waste of space, nor will you be a burden to me. Your parents were selfish and forgot that their kids are their future. They are the ones you shouldn’t want. I want to take care of you, because I want to help you and if no one else helped you before, it is very unlikely that anyone else will help you. And without any graduation it will be hard for you to find a job to get money and live on your own, also you are way too young to go to work already.”

Then he sat M/n down on the floor in front of a big chimney, he threw some wood inside it and lit it on fire. Instantly warmth hit M/n’s face. The boy was in deep thoughts at what Alastor told him and then his head snapped around to him, who hung up his scarf and coat.

“Wouldn’t that make YOU my Dad ?”, M/n asked.

Alastor’s eyes widened in surprise, stopped dead in his tracks and his smile dropped a slight bit as he processed what M/n said…or better asked.

“I…I suppose it would, yes. Or I would be your Guardian. Any work…”, Alastor said in thought and continued to hang up his hat and gloves.

M/n looked back at the fire and hummed softly, biting the inside of his right cheek. He didn’t even know that guy ! But…he was willing to take care of him…

“Anything you want to drink ?”, Alastor asked, snapping M/n out of his thoughts.

“Umm… D-do you have hot chocolate ?”, M/n asked shyly.

“You are in luck. I tried this sweet beverage, but it just isn’t my cup of tea.”, Alastor said and walked into the kitchen, making himself and M/n something to drink.

M/n felt his limbs slowly again, he was relieved to feel his legs slightly again.

“Then what do you like to drink ?!”, M/n called out.

“Coffee mostly !”, Alastor answered back.

“Any sugar or milk ?!”

“Nope ! Plain black coffee !”

“Black just like your soul !”, M/n joked and laughed.

Alastor chuckled at his joke and continued to make himself coffee and M/n a cup of hot chocolate.

After some time the drinks were done and he set them down on the table in the Living room. Then he crouched down and looked at M/n, with a warm smile.

“Try walking to me. Let us see if your limbs have enough feeling to make you walk again.”, he said and stretched out his right hand.

M/n frowned and looked scared at Alastor.

“What if I fall…?”

“I will catch you.”

M/n was still very scared but slowly got up and took two unsteady steps, then he stayed stock still, making Alastor worry.

“I-I can’t feel them much…I fear if I take another step, I will fall…”, M/n said scared.

Alastor got up and walked to M/n’s side, grabbing and holding his left hand softly, but also firm enough so he won’t slip.

“Let us walk together, okay ?”, Alastor said.

M/n nodded and then took a shaky breath. Then he took a step forward and Alastor did the same. M/n wobbled from side to side slightly, but he tried his best. As they were half way there, M/n’s legs gave out and he yelped. Alastor pulled him to his side and then held him.

The little boy had tears in his eyes out of shame.

“I-I’m sorry ! I-I really tried !”, he said sobbing.

“Shh..shh… It’s okay, M/n. I know you tried. Your legs just don’t have full control back yet. It is not your fault…”, Alastor soothed the boy.

M/n was sniffing and wiping his tears away with his hand, looking at Alastor. He smiled at the boy and then picked him up, carrying him to the table and sitting him down on the couch, in front of his hot coca.

M/n stared wide eyed at Alastor as he sat down in front of him on the other side.

“What is it ?”, he asked the boy.

“N-no one ever helped me… When I fell not even my own parents helped me…”

Alastor usually wasn’t for feelings, but he felt bad for M/n. The poor boy really had it hard then…

“Well then your parents were horrible people. You always help kids.”, Alastor said and then blew on his coffee, before slurping some.

M/n looked at Alastor and then went to grab his own cup.

“Careful. It is still very hot. Wait for a little bit or you will burn yourself.”

The boy retreated his hand at Alastor’s warning and waited five more minutes. Then he took a small sip and hummed with a happy smile on his face.

“It is so rare that I get hot coca ! Thank you Alastor, it tastes perfect !”

“No problem, M/n.”

The months ticked by and they got along just fine. M/n always thanked and complimented Alastor. Only today they were both caught off guard.

Alastor made breakfast and M/n stormed down the stairs, dressed in a thicker pullover, socks and pants, which Alastor bought him a while ago.

“Morning M/n.”

“Morning Al ! What is for breakfast ? Can I help ?”

“You can set the table. I am making some sausages, scrambled eggs and bacon as breakfast.”

“Awesome !”

M/n snatched 2 plates, forks and knives then he dashed off to the Living room and set the table.

After a while the food was done and they ate, M/n hummed loudly after he was done with the food.

“That was very delicious. Thank you, Papa !”, M/n said happily.

Alastor froze and his fork fell out of his hand, eyes wide in surprise and shock. M/n looked at him in worry until he realized what he called Alastor and he froze too, blushing and looking away, scared he did something wrong.

“S-sorry… It won’t happen again…”, M/n said.

“Applesauce ! You can call me that, it just caught me off guard !”, Alastor said quickly after he snapped out of his trance.

“REALLY ?!”, M/n said excited.

Alastor chuckled and nodded, then continued to finish his breakfast.

“I will have to go to work in two days again, M/n.”

“O-oh… right you took off because you had to take care of me the last 3 months…”

“I didn’t mind it, Dear.”

“I hope you won’t get into any trouble because of me…”

“Pish posh, Darling. I won’t get into any trouble !”

M/n didn’t know, but Alastor lied. He would get into some trouble. Having a mixed skin color and dark skin colored people are not really welcomed in New Orleans, Louisiana and they also get yelled at, at work. No matter what. All Alastor knows is that they can’t fire him though, he brings in a lot of income for them by his channel.

“I will prepare you some food that you can heat up easily then. Only let it heat up 10 minutes then, okay ? You can do as you please, just don’t go outside and don’t break anything, okay ?”

M/n nodded.

“Yes, Papa.”

Alastor smiled and ruffled the boy’s hair. He giggled and held his hand in place, nuzzling it.

A few more months passed by and Alastor took very good care of M/n. Sadly he had to report that he adopted M/n and then they all wanted him to send the kid to school.

“School ?”, M/n asked unsure.

“Yes, school. You will learn there, get friends and have a lot of fun.”

M/n was silent and then teared up. Alastor lost his smile and looked at him concerned.

“You wanna get rid of me…”, M/n whimpered.

“What ? No. But you will have to learn stuff eventually.”

“And who asked me if I WANT to go to a SCHOOL ?! I have YOU ! I heard about schools… Strict, unsafe, bullies and a lot of danger ! Why would I willingly go to that Hell hole ?!”

Alastor was silent. M/n hugged himself and fell to his knees, staring at the floor.

“I don’t want to be beaten ! I don’t want to get hurt by adults ! I don’t want to risk the possibility to get kidnapped ! I don’t wanna be bullied ! What if I get taken away and get killed or worse ?! Who will help me then ?! School is dangerous ! A lot already happened near schools ! I refuse to be another victim !”

Alastor never saw M/n in a full blown panic attack, until now… He rushed to his side and hugged him to his chest. M/n started crying into Alastor’s shirt, clutching it tightly.

“Don’t force me to go, Papa…”

He was conflicted, but he will try his hardest.

After his Son was asleep, he went to the phone he owned and called the people he needed to speak with about the issue of school.

“Hello, who is this ?”, a female asked rudely.

“Why hello there, I must ask that I can educate my Son from home.”, Alastor said.

“Why is that ?”

“He has big Panic attacks. He knows that school is a bad place. He said that a lot already happened there that were negative. He doesn’t feel safe even thinking about going to school.”

“When would he get schooled in ?”

“This year in a week, why ?”

She asked for other information that he answered and then she said.

“We will send someone to the school he will go to and see for ourselves how bad it will be. Then we will decide if he can’t go to school.”

Alastor’s eye twitched.

“How am I supposed to get him there, when he already gets a panic attack just thinking of going there ?”

“That will be your own problem, Sir. Have a good day.”

And the Bitch hung up.

“Rude…”, Alastor commented as he put the phone back.

One week later…

Alastor had big trouble to get M/n to school. He didn’t even have to tell M/n, why he had to wake up and get ready in very nice clothes, he knew that Alastor woke him up to send him there.

M/n made it difficult for Alastor. He hid anywhere he could fit in, ran as soon as he found him, struggled around as Alastor dressed him up and he tried to run out and deeper into the forest.

Somehow Alastor caught him and carried him to his car, only to get him into his car in the end.

M/n was kicking, screaming, crying and begging him not to do this. Alastor hated this, he didn’t want M/n so sad, but he had to try and prove to the authorities that M/n wasn’t stable enough for school and is better off home. He, stupidly, didn’t tell M/n about this though.

Soon they arrived and that was the moment M/n started to straight up WAIL. It hurt Alastor’s heart and all he could think was that M/n must have seen something to freak out so much.

What hurt him most was that M/n was scared of him now and gave up talking to him half the way there, he…just cried.

Alastor got out of the car and then went over to M/n’s door. As soon as he opened it, M/n was on the other side of where he usually loved to sit, curled up and not looking at him.

“Come on, Cher.”, he said softly.

No reply, only sobbing.

“Cher…?”

“Hello Sir, this your child that is scared of school ?”, a male asked.

Alastor looked at the man and saw a name tag. He was the one the authorities sent.

“Yes. As I informed on the phone, he would react like this.”, Alastor said, showing his smile and not letting him see his sadness.

The man hummed and then went to the other side of the car, opened the door and TORE M/n out with force.

“HEY !”, Alastor yelled angered.

Why use such a brutal force on a poor child that could be traumatized already ?!

“OW !”, M/n yelled out, sobbing more.

Alastor didn’t know what to do. If he got into a fight now, he could lose his job and M/n, but he hated seeing him being treated like this too.

“Listen here you Brat ! Drop your act this instant ! You will go to school, like it or not !”, the man yelled pissed off.

M/n started to cry louder and tried to pry the Male’s hand off that hurt him.

“LET GO ! LET GO !”, the boy yelled.

He hoped that his Papa would do something, help him even…

“LET HIM GO ! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ?! YOU ARE HURTING HIM !”, Alastor yelled pissed off.

The male ignored Alastor.

‘P..Papa ? Why aren’t you doing anything ? HELP ME ! WHY DON’T YOU HELP ME ?!’

“You little Brat have no say in wherever you go or not !”

“LET ME GO YOU ASSHOLE ! YOU ARE HURTING ME !”

The male smirked darkly and slapped M/n’s right cheek hard enough to make him snap his head to the left. Alastor’s eyes widened in utter shock, while M/n…seemed to have lost all emotion.

‘Papa ? He…he let that happen… TRAITOR ! LIAR ! HE PROMISED ! HE PROMISED ! HE PROMISED ! ….Wasn’t I good enough ? HE. DOESN’T. CARE. ABOUT. ME. He is just like THEM…’

M/n kicked the man in the balls then and there and ran away as fast as possible from the scene and Alastor.

“M/N ! WAIT !”, Alastor called in worry, trying to catch his shoulder, but missing it.

‘HE DOESN’T CARE. HE DOESN’T CARE ! HE DOESN’T CARE !’

And with that M/n was gone.

‘What have I done ?!’, was all Alastor could think, angered at himself.

He should have NEVER tried to prove anything to them like this !

“Not the reaction I expected… He didn’t act and he looked very similar to Linda L/n’s Brother M/n L/n. She was his older sister.”, the man said, groaning as he got up.

Alastor whipped around at the mention of M/n’s former last name. Before Alastor could adopt him, M/n had to state his last name and he did.

“M/n L/n. My parents abandoned me and probably already left the country… Then he wanted to adopt me and I am happy to let him. He saved me after all.”

“That IS him ! I adopted him !”, Alastor yelled.

The man paled.

“Oh shit.”

“What ?”

“That was why he is so traumatized and scared of school ! He was witness of how his Sister was kidnapped near the school she went to and was found dead by him in an alley way one day later, naked. We found out that she was sexually assaulted. She also was many times very injured and bruised up from bullies in school. It all makes sense now ! He was the one who mostly saw her first after school !”

Alastor’s eyes widened in utter horror.

“You didn’t know ?”, the man asked.

“No. He never told me.”

The man got out a Walkie Talkie.

“Everyone, search and find M/n L/n also known as M/n Hazbin. He ran away from school and his adoptive Father. I may have overreacted a bit…”

“Taylor you are such a fucking idiot ! Why would you traumatize a child even further ?!”

“First off, I didn’t know that was M/n L/n ! Second off he was the tenth child that pretended to be scared of school, so I got a bit pissed !”

“Well he surely didn’t pretend, you absolute Moron ! I sent out 5 troops and now get your ass to searching ! He could be anywhere !”

“Understood !”

Alastor was already gone. How could he forget ?! Linda L/n was killed in the Cathedral Alley and a boy found her. He would have never guessed that it was M/n !

He was searching everywhere, until a thought came to him.

‘What if he went to that alley ?’

He turned a sharp corner and then drove there as fast as possible. As soon as he reached the alleyway, he spotted M/n. He got out of his car and slowly came near M/n.

“M/n ? Cher ?”, he asked softly to get his attention and to not scare him.

“Go away. I shouldn’t have trusted you, ALASTOR.”, M/n said coldly.

That stabbed Alastor right into the heart. So they are back to names and not to titles…

“You…should have told me about your Sister…”

M/n growled.

“I said: GO AWAY !”, he yelled.

“You are my child. I can’t leave you.”

M/n turned around, rage, hurt and betrayal deep in his eyes.

“YOU let it happen that some filthy man laid his hands on me ! YOU let him HURT me ! YOU didn’t do ANYTHING ! Would you let that happen to your OWN CHILD ?!”

“Cher, I can’t just start a fight… You should-“

“SHUT UP ! JUST SHUT UP ! You PROMISED to protect me at ALL COSTS ! But as I needed you, YOU JUST STOOD THERE !”

Alastor looked away in shame. M/n started to cry again and turned his back to Alastor again.

“I KNOW that I am NOT YOUR SON… I guess I never will be in the future either, to you… But damn, DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME HOPE ?!”

“M/n you ARE my-“

“SAVE IT, OKAY ?!”

Alastor stayed dead silent. All that was heard were M/n’s sniffling, sobbing, hiccups and heavy breaths.

“I should have considered freezing to death that day…”

The man’s head snapped up at that, not believing what M/n just said.

“I wish I would have been that clever back then…”

Then there was a beep and a voice.

“We found him. Mr. Hazbin is here too.”

“I knew it. Dragging me back to school, aren’t you ? Heh, and here I was, just questioning my life choices…”, M/n spat and wiped his tears.

Alastor could see from a window how M/n’s face morphed into a rage filled one, then a hurt one, then only a guilty one and then it morphed into….acceptance ?

And then Alastor spotted it. His missing knife from today morning ! M/n just pulled that out of his pocket ! Then fast footsteps were heard of two more people.

“Kid, put the knife down !”, a female yelled.

“To what purpose ? To go back to my future doom ? The only one I would harm, would be myself.”

“M/n, you aren’t going to school.”, a male said.

Alastor just stood there, unsure of what to do. Any wrong move or word can trigger him to kill or hurt himself.

“So ? You want a fucking Cookie for saying that ? That doesn’t rebuild my broken trust in the ONE person I TRUSTED MOST !”, M/n yelled, swinging the knife in his right hand to his right side, away from himself, in anger, while turning to them back around, glaring at them.

“M/n let us talk about this. I can make it up to you.”, Alastor said.

“What is there to talk about and make up for, huh ?! I begged and pleaded you to NOT drag me there ! I fought you to stay away from that place ! I did everything and anything to make you give up and you didn’t leave me ALONE ! WHAT IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT OTHER THAN THAT YOU JUST DON’T CARE ABOUT ME ?! YOU NEVER SAW ME AS YOUR SON ! NOT EVEN CLOSE ! I didn’t HAVE to tell you about my Sister, if you would have just LISTENED ! I told you I know what school really is like ! It is DANGER itself ! And what did you do ?! Ignore it and DRAG ME THERE LIKE A DAMN RAGDOLL ! THANK YOU FOR CARING !”

“Do you think it was easy on me ?! IT HURT, M/N ! BUT I HAD TO ! That was the deal with the authorities that would have decided if you will go to school or NOT ! I had no other choice ! THEY wanted you THERE !”

“THAT DOESN’T JUSTIFY WHY YOU DIDN’T HELP ME ! HE DIDN’T let go… It HURT SO BAD ! AND ALL YOU COULD DO WAS STAND THERE AND BABBLE ?! REALLY ?! HE COULD HAVE BROKEN MY WRIST WITH A LITTLE BIT MORE PRESSURE ! HE FUCKING SLAPPED ME AND ALL YOU COULD DO WAS STAND THERE ! DID YOU ENJOY SEEING ME LIKE THAT ?! WAS IT FUNNY ?! NOT EVEN FOR ONCE DID YOU LOOK CONCERNED ! DID YOU EVEN CARE ?!”, M/n yelled with tears in his eyes.

His tears stood for more than hurt, they also stood for rage and deep betrayal. Alastor was in horror to hear him say that. Did M/n really think that of him…?

“I was never good enough, was I ? That’s why you wanted me in school. To get rid of the annoying BRAT that needs a lot of care and love… Why didn’t you just say so ? Why didn’t you just throw me out or signed me into an orphanage then ?! No one would have known that you even were in CONTACT with me ! The always bothersome, troublemaking, annoying BRAT that just can’t get enough attention. I should have KNOWN you wouldn’t be any different. I may be 6 years old but I HAD TO GROW UP FASTER THAN OTHER KIDS !”

M/n’s grip on the knife was so hard that his knuckles turned white. He wiped his eyes furiously free from tears as they continued to flow like a river. Alastor and the other two cops were shocked.

“YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO BEG YOUR OWN PARENTS TO NOT STOP BEING YOUR PARENTS ! YOU WEREN’T BLAMED FOR YOUR SISTER’S DEATH ! YOU WEREN’T BEATEN AND ABUSED BY YOUR OWN PARENTS ! YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO HAVE A FEELING TO ALWAYS TRY TO BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM SO THEY WILL ACCEPT YOU ! YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SLEEP OUTSIDE AND STARVE ! YOU WEREN’T ABANDONED BY YOUR OWN PARENTS ! YOU DIDN’T HAD TO SEE YOUR OWN SISTER’S CONDITIONS WHEN SHE CAME HOME WOUNDED BADLY AND YOU HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HER AND LISTEN TO HER TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED ! YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SEE HOW THEY BEAT YOUR SISTER IN SCHOOL AND NO ONE CARED! YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SEE HER GETTING TAKEN BY SOME PERVERTED FREAKS ! YOU DIDN’T HAD TO FIND HER LIKE THIS THE NEXT DAY AND FIND OUT THAT THESE SICK FUCKS ARE STILL OUT THERE ! I DID ! I HAD TO ! WHILE NO ONE ELSE NEEDED TO BE PERFECT FOR THEIR PARENTS, I HAD TO BE THAT AND SO MUCH MORE !”

“Oh my… why didn’t you tell the police ?”, the female asked.

“They all would have said that it was a lie and fake. They stuck together…the whole school did. I couldn’t babble out my parents because Father threatened that I will wish I was never born if I tell the police any of this.”

“You have an obsession to be perfect for others…You have trust issues and a lot of trauma on your shoulders.”, the man said softly.

M/n scoffed.

“So what ? It’s not like anyone CARES. I was wrong to trust Alastor and I was wrong to try and prove my worth. After all a BRAT will always be a BRAT…”, he spat out with hatred.

“M/n, I didn’t stop caring. I’m sorry if I made it seem like that, but I truly didn’t mean to make you feel that way. Yes, I should have told you about the school and all, but I was worried that you would get angry at me and the person to check on you. I wanted you to believe that you go there, so nothing will be fake nor will you have a tantrum and show them that you lied to me. I didn’t know that he would SLAP you. Violence is never the answer, as my Mother taught me, so I stay with talking and trying to get through. I know that I should have probably kicked him in the shin anyways, but he was a higher up too, he could have made it worse for you.”, Alastor said softly.

M/n understood where Alastor was coming from, he wasn’t dumb. People with a slight darker skin color are mostly frowned upon and he would have gotten into real trouble too. He ain’t as dumb as Alastor thinks he is.

Still…it HURT that his own adoptive Father didn’t have the BALLS to help him and use a little bit of violence.

“How do I know that you aren’t just saying that so I will drop the knife, before I end myself ?”

So that was what M/n planned… End it all.

“What do you want of me that could make you believe me ?”, Alastor asked back.

The answer was almost instant.

“For once drop that fucking fake smiley on your face and show your true emotions fully to me in the open. At home you have no problem in doing so, but in the open you act cold, distant and uncaring with a big FAKE SMILE on your face. It makes me question what is the real you, the one at home or the one in the open. Always so Buddy Pal with everyone out there but I am forgotten in the background. It happened more than enough times.”

Alastor was surprised, but instantly dropped his façade. He was frowning the deepest frown M/n has ever seen. He studied his eyes and saw all the emotions he thought Alastor didn’t have after all. That was when he teared up and walked over to Alastor, holding out the knife for him to take.

He took it and put it away in his car, then came back and hugged M/n tightly.

“I’m sorry.”, M/n said.

“I’m sorry as well… I should have been more observant and considerate… I’m sorry I had you question me and feel like you had to prove anything to me, Cher.”

M/n just cried his heart out, while Alastor comforted him.

“Shh…I’m here…I’m here…”

After M/n was asleep and in Alastor’s car the cops called him over.

“You should get him a therapist, Sir. Maybe it will help him.”, said the male.

“Are you insane, Mark ? He doesn’t trust ANYONE besides Mr. Hazbin.”, the female cop argued back.

“He should try it.”

“I will consider it. Anything else ?”, Alastor said.

“You can sue Taylor for what he did. That was child abuse and he will be fired on the spot today anyways. We are sorry for his behavior.”, the man said.

Alastor nodded.

“That all ?”

“Yes. You will get the documents that state that M/n is allowed to be schooled at home. We will see to it.”

With that they parted ways. Alastor drove home with M/n and called his Boss and told him what happened and that he will need a few days off. He wasn’t very happy about it, but for the child’s sake he agreed.

A few hours later, Alastor was in the kitchen, cooking, as he heard M/n scream bloody murder. Instantly he grabbed a knife and ran upstairs into M/n’s bedroom, only to find the child, near a panic attack, in a corner.

He dropped the knife and rushed over to M/n, hugging him and gently shushing him, coaxing him out of his attack. He hugged Alastor back tightly and they just stayed like that.

“You okay ?”, Alastor asked.

M/n nodded softly.

“What happened ?”

“Nightmare…”

“What happened in it ?”

“You…left me…”

Alastor looked at M/n with saddened eyes and squeezed him lightly.

“You know that I would never do that, Cher. Right ?”

M/n stayed silent, giving Alastor his answer. It is not out of the possibility for M/n.

“Cher, I’ll never leave as long as I can help it.”

M/n stayed silent. Alastor softly squeezed M/n and then kissed the top of his head.

“I am not planning to leave you. I’m here and I will stay with you here.”, he gently whispered.

M/n felt very sleepy and yawned.

“Promise…?”

“I promise, M/n.”

“Mmmm…Love you, Papa…”, M/n sleepily babbled out.

Alastor smiled softly.

“I love you too.”

Masterlist HERE !

[shigayokagayama]

incomplete list of weird/interesting manga-anime discrepancies

-you know the bit where they break into the girls highschool in episode 2? yea thats chapter 56. spliced into the middle of chapter 4. its supposed to go before the bit with the ghost family as a lead up to the mogami arc with mob starting to consider evil spirits as just as much “people” as living humans are. all things considered its kind of weird how well it fits its anime placement

-ritsu in the manga gets introduced in the same chapter as teru. you dont see mobs family at all for the first few chapters. infact i dont think his parents appear until like. chapter 25????? every interaction you see between mob and any of his family is completely made up for the anime

-in the manga during the claw arc instead of reigen sending them away all the lackeys just stood there awkwardly during the fight w the scars fdnjksndkjgnd

-mogami arc got GUTTED my god. the part where the fake psychics tried to murder minori got removed, shinras role in the arc got reduced to basically nothing, they move mogamiland ritsu to a bridge like 50 feet away instead of having him walk right over mob, mob only gets beat up like twice, the cat lives, the boxcutter bit is totally removed, the fight with the spirits is made a lot more abstract and less graphic. like im glad this one took the hit instead of the separation arc bc i cant imagine that arc ever being effective as one episode but wow.

-putting the “mob finding his family dead” thing at the end of the episode instead of in the middle of a chapter where it originally was was an objectively hilarious move

-rip the scene of teru outsmarting all three claw guys and saying “say old man have you ever been tortured before” unfortunately all scenes of teru being competent are not plot relevant and must die. also teru can make shadow clones

-hey remember those weird satellite people in claw keeping the viewer updated on where all the characters were in that infinite arc?

-mob with a gun.

-mob getting briefly knocked out while fighting toichiro and dimple possessing him then getting kicked out was replaced w toichiro just throwing him out the window or somethhing???

-toichiro saying that he only kept the super five around as spare batteries and draining serizawas power getting cut was a personal affront to me

-every single emotion mob cycled through in the anime got a 100% meter. the kid was super emotionally unstable in that fight

-that old man whos house they went to whos wraith made everyone asleep that they exorcised? yea they anime team made that up. they never went to his house in the manga, he just went to spirits and such for a shoulder massage

-manga reigen got 0 money for helping the yokai dude. it wasnt on the table. also most of the stuff he was saying was lifted from a video game serizawa played which he pointed out. also serizawa thought getting arrested was a type of spell

-takenakas general meanness was significantly toned down manga takenaka was a huge bitch

-in general the alien arc was a lot funnier in the manga? like the scene where reigen crashes they had reached a dead end on an extremely narrow path and were driving in reverse while tome and takenaka were screaming at each other in the back and inukawa was 5 seconds from snapping and killing everyone in the car. these might be my favorite pages in the entire manga they as so fucking funny

-originally when tome said she wouldnt keep climbing reigen suggested mob carry her with telekinesis (which horrified her) and mob said he was too motion sick to use his powers (obvious lie) but could carry her instead which got her to get up

-mezato asking mob to sign a t shirt for the psycho helmet cult in exchange for relationship advice got cut

-i cry every day that the sequence of ???% waking up didnt get animated it set a very different tone than the anime did. the anime was like. slow build up of dread. the manga was immediately bone deep horror i was literally sitting in my room yelling “WHAT???” over and over again at my computer as i clicked through it

-shigeo and mob conversation cut down significantly, all the references to the body improvement club being mob making a new self rather than embracing who he really is and being scared that all the friends hes made wouldnt like the real him removed </3

-the scene where reigen takes his shoes off is made a lot less somber and depressing. it feels less like “oh he knows hes going to die” and more like. triumphant? in the anime

-100% shigeo kageyama is an anime addition they added specifically to ruin my “the first time we see mob 100% is to fight dimple and the last time is to stop himself from fighting dimple” observation

-anime teru generally seems like hes in a better place than manga teru? manga teru seems very melancholy and like he doesn’t really know what to do with his life or his place in the world (which seems to put shigeo off) but anime teru is like wanna go shopping ^_^ *sips tea happily*

-manga shigeo deliberately threw the cake directly in reigens face and my fury over them making this ambiguous will last until i am dead

[lavendergalactic]

A callout post on Locket. (aka @llocket)

(JOKE & NON-SERIOUS happy april fools)

1. he spread misinformation

i'll be talking about this post where they "defend" nahida being brown

locket spread misinformation on that post because famous non-muslim non-indian tiktok user firestorm703934 said she's based off the moon (not saraswati who has the godly glow of the moon, just the moon itself because that makes so much sense for the god of dendro and wisdom to be based off the moon itself) on a post where an artist drew nahida with melanin

as you see in this comment, they're totally right about their point, the moon ISN'T tan. therefore nahida shouldn't be "tan" either, it's perfect logic

2. sent me cryptic death threats

locket would sometimes send me messages that i don't understand, so i put them through in google translate and you will never believe what they said

this was really hurtful. i cried for days on end after google translating this.

3. cultural appropriation

locket speaks urdu, but they have multiple parts with names of different languages

as you can see here kaveh is a PERSIAN name. not URDU.

and here, kaeya is an INDIAN name. not URDU.

also, one of his parts used a language thats NATIVE TO INDIA (NOT URDU.) symbol as an aesthetic in their intro.

(urdu is a mix of arabic, turkish and persian just so you know, and they are half indian half pakistani, they can use all of these)

4. he was previously RCTA

from 2015~2022 locket claimed to be a different race, he claimed to be canadian and white, not half pakistani and half indian.

proof:

this is from their old carrd from 3 years ago claiming that they're white

here they are seen PHOTOSHOPPING THEIR SKIN to be another race, like wow, why would you do this to yourself? that's so fucking insane

this is their REAL HAND in comparison:

THIS IS SICK. ^

they've also made their roblox avatar white back in 2021 to trick me into thinking they're white:

his username is "J44KU", as you can see it's WHITE

5. copying my work

multiple times locket has purposfully copied my work. taking too heavy inspiration and then claiming it as their OWN.

here you see locket clearly copying my akira and ryo graphics i've made in december last year.

and here you see the CLEAREST COPY IN EXISTENCE. they copied everything about my part noir's rentry. it's SICK

TAGS: please spread the word.

@yaoitistic @hamusie @pwupsicle @venshuko @necroangelz @otoripink @mukurosgf @magnoliawriter @cactiflowering @triokoto

(PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY BY THE WAY, LOCKET WAS IN ON IT TOO AND GIVING ME IDEAS AND IMAGES!! please don't actually try cancel my boyfriend for this, this is all for shits and giggles, happy april fools!)

[transmurderbug]

🐛 Weekly Tag Wednesday! 🐛

Thank you for the tags, Kat @mybrainismelted, Kaka @stocious, Evie @energievie, Comet @spacerockwriting, Nosho @creepkinginc, Jess @jrooc and Alice @spookygingerr! So many people! 🥰💙

Weekly Tag Wednesday - Firsts!

Name: Sky 🪲🪨

Age: Nosho divided by zero.

First Pet? My family's German Shepherd named Döme. The first pet that was mine was a guinea pig. His name was Kormos (smoky/sooty).

First Word? As if my mother remembers 😂 All I know is that my father wanted it to be dezoxiribonukleinsav (DNA, but in Hungarian).

First Celebrity Crush? 🤷

First IRL Crush? One of these days I'll need a scientific rundown of what that's supposed to feel like. I never had one, I guess?

First kiss? Sorry, this one is a skip for me. Blah.

First Car? Issss the one I still have! A 2009 Renault Clio Grandtour. My pookie (yes I am THAT person).

First apartment/house/dorm/whatever away from your parents? A small ass apartment I half lived in with someone.

First time on a plane? A family vacation when I was around... 5. It was fun! I've been totally in love with flying ever since.

First cellphone? A "hand me down" from my mother, an old... Nokia? If I remember correctly. Your typical "you're going to school and coming home on your own, here, in case you need it".

First concert? I don't remember... I'm pretty sure some kind of a rock concert though. I was raised on good music. The first one that I excitedly got tickets for on my own was when I was 15, one of my favorite bands was celebrating a birthday.

First foreign country you visited? I think it was Austria when I was a few months old!

First sport you ever played? Athletics from basically the day I could walk. Nothing specific at first, but I ended up being a good jumper and sprinter later. My true calling was probably discus/javelin/hammer, anything you can throw.

First career aspiration? It was constantly changing, but the focus point was always animals.

And finally… tell me about the first time you wrote/drew/created/whatever something that made you think "wow" That's a tough one... maybe back when I was doing graphics extracurricular in school and we designed some background set for theatre, more specifically for an Oz play. The yellow brick road I worked on turned out pretty cool! I used to write poems too, some weren't too horrid 👀

Tagging, because I'm on time! Voluntary, as always, if you wanna pass, here, have this apple: 🍏 @ian-galagher @transmickey @deathclassic @gallapiech @look-i-love-u @suzy-queued @mickeysgaymom @sam-loves-seb @heymrspatel @dynamic-power @blue-disco-lights @thepupperino @metalheadmickey @transsexual-dandelions @sgtmickeyslaughter @ms-moonlight-inn @palepinkgoat @krysmiss @callivich @rayrayor @francesrose3 @lee-ow aaaand anyone else my scrambled brain is forgetting.

[havikshoochiemama]

My Star Wars Acolyte rant >:(

This shit is not proofread LMAO it’s 5 am i’m mad leave me alone just me being the hater that i am 🤭

I originally wasn’t gonna talk about the Acolyte because clearly the show was just another emotionally immature shitty Disney cash grab with horribly written characters BUT DUDE i keep seeing ads and stuff on my tumblr NONSTOP and i’m actually sick of it .. most of you guys saw one Tumblr Sexyman and just went ham with that…We as a fandom need to stand up because Disney doesn’t care about star wars imma keep it a buck they just want to make their next mcu and they just greenlighting anything at this point

“oh but i like Andor” yeah that’s like what ever 10 shows they make they make one good one that’s not good 😭… anyways like i was saying they are literally pulling shit out their ass they are getting shit from the star wars legends that’s it’s own universe and putting it in…like excuse me ??? those books don’t follow the events of the movie so why would your show that allegedly takes place before the movies (I said allegedly because writers can’t even get characters ages right ) also i’m talking about that bs w the helmet that stops lightsabers… apparently it’s called cortosis from legends never once mentioned in any of the movies (i’m not watching them live action shows idgaf i like SOME of the animated ones) but they use it as a Mcguffin when they want bc they never built on this they just stole it from legends LMAOAA you just can’t do that  i’m literally about to pop a blood vessel 😭 i’m not watching that show again but let me critique the shit i do remember… also the “Gayest Star Wars we ever made” KEEP MY PEOPLE OUT YOUR SHITTY WORK !!! but after that man who’s to edgy for a name killed all her friends she “loved” she’s sees his face and is like wow 😍 literally thinkin with her pussy very hetro of you 💀 gah this show just pisses me off star war at its heart is a fuckin space opera and i dont think disney understands that. i literally fell in love with star wars back when i played battlefront and watched all the movies read as many comics and books as i could get my hands on and seeing something you love become something you hate is fuckin sick and crazy it’s started with me from the force awakens that movie is horrible you bitches say pretty graphics and said oh good movie 😍 NO NO it literally was just a new Hope setting everything that luke did back making him basically useless LMAO and they butchered the old characters to help the new ones which are really not that great 💀 i’m still mad that them used Finn as a token black person 😐 i could rewrite the force awakens better same characters and all and yk actually do something better (joking i would if Disney paid me to)LMAO also i hate kylo ren don’t get me wrong i love my cry baby tantrum throwing villains but he’s nawt it LMAO i’m sorry this is a rant about the shitty show YALL NOT READY FOR ME TO SPEAK ON THE FORCE AWAKENS 😭

yeah i hate that show i literally don’t wanna talk about it anymore heart emoji 😝 remember when people said the Phantom Menace was bad yeah…  at least it have character development atleast it had good world building atleast the universe was establish and yk i liked it but the prequel’s have always been my favorite clone wars literally came out on my birth year >:3 it was made for me 🤭 but i’m just a whore for world building and lore yeah… umm idk to me start wats ended with the return of the Jedi 🗣️

dont @ me idc this is my opinion and if you want to continue meat riding corporate greed that literally is ruining my fave franchise pop off if you liked the show i don’t care good for you (your def new gen star wars fan)

also Darth Plagueis ?? LMAO WHAT they just doing anything i see and why where all the jedis fuckin morons … okay ? and your main character sucked you don’t get the satisfaction of character arcs like “her joining the dark side” if there was no character building to begin with like ? it not to late Disney just burn it get it over with. Also it’s all so Fuckin boring LMAO also i can talk shit about character development and arcs all i want bc i’m writing my own novel and i’ve did a lot of research even tho this whole rant is a mess it’s 5 in the morning give ur girl a break i just really like my silly space movie okay 🥹 i literally spent a band on the Star Wars encyclopedia leave me alone

Um if you wanna argue my comments are open <3 i love arguing i’m somewhat of a scorpio myself

[wormytoast]

2.3 graphic! 2.2 graphic here

as always this post is leak free but my blog DOES contain leaks and spoilers, so please mute "#hsr spoilers" and "#hsr leaks" if you don't want to see that stuff <3

Trailblazer will not be considered in these stats because they are a null character.

TYPES

Fire: 7

Ice: 8

Lightning: 7

Wind: 6

Physical: 8

Quantum: 8

Imaginary: 6

Fire is now in the middle of the pack with Lightning while Quantum is boosted to the front with Ice and Physical.

PATHS

Destruction: 9

Erudition: 7

The Hunt: 7

Harmony: 8

Nihility: 9

Preservation: 4

Abundance: 6

Destruction is, once again, tied for most populous path with Nihility (who could've guessed? LOL). Erudition gained one more unit.

RARITY

Limited 5-Star: 23

Standard 5-Star: 7; Overall 5-Star: 30

4-Star: 21

For a second version in a row we did not receive any drip marketing for a new 4-star! I think the absence of one in 2.2 is fair considering the hinting they did with Trailblazer's hat in the live, but what's the reason in 2.3? It's not a big deal regardless but still strange.

OVERLAP

There are now 9 overlaps of unit path/type combinations. Neither Firefly nor Jade are new type/path combinations, although both are new rarities for their combos as well as the first overlapping combos for their respective types. The only type without an overlapping combination is Imaginary.

Fire/Destruction- Hook & Firefly

Quantum/Erudition- Qingque & Jade

Physical/Harmony- Hanya & Robin

Physical/The Hunt- Sushang & Boothill

Ice/Preservation- March 7th & Gepard

Ice/Destruction- Jingliu & Misha

Lightning/Erudition- Serval & Jing Yuan

Lightning/Nihility- Kafka & Acheron

Wind/Nihility- Sampo & Black Swan

Unfulfilled combinations:

Erudition- Wind & Imaginary

The Hunt- Lightning

Preservation- Fire, Wind, Lightning, & Physical

Abundance- Ice

MODELS

F child: 2

F short: 9

F med: 11

F tall: 11

M short: 3

M med: 4

M tall: 10

Wow, two more women in a Hoyo game? I'm so surprised! Seriously though, Jade is the first Quantum unit that has a tall model (all Quantum units up until this point have been F med or F short). Of course this is assuming that Jade has an F tall model but, realistically, her proportions are that of most F tall models so I'd say it's a safe bet. We already know Firefly is an F med model. No love for the boys or the children this version.

I don't feel like repeating old info so I'll try to be quick: Quantum is all women while Imaginary is all men except for Yukong. We have not received a new F child unit since launch (happy one year HSR!).

OVERALL + OTHER THOUGHTS

Not much to say about this update in terms of statistics or units. I'm REALLY hoping we get Sunday by 2.4, but there's also a good chance 2.4 will take us to a previous location to give players a breather from Penacony, so we might need to wait a bit longer for Sunday 🫡

I'm also surprised that we didn't get Screwllum for 2.3 considering they mentioned updating the Simulated Universe in 2.3! Very unfortunate for Screwllum enjoyers.

After Penacony... maybe a Japanese-themed location? We've already got hints of one from both Sparkle and Acheron (although Acheron's home is probably unreachable now...)

Thanks for reading this far if you did! Maybe consider following this account? Or not since this is basically a gacha ramble account LOL

[sparkanonymous]

It's finally time for me to watch Dragons Rising!

Time for some incomprehensible note-taking while I ink the last WIP I posted.

⚠️ Spoilers for episodes 1-3!

Here's what I know:

The OG 4 (+ Nya I think) have been lost to time. It's actually the main reason why I didn't want to watch it back when it first came out; I didn't want to watch the series without the characters I loved. (Not the biggest Lloyd fan, so he wasn't enough for me to want to come and watch it.)

The main 4 are found, but Jay is like... brainwashed or something, and works for a facility or whatever.

Cole basically has a boyfriend and kids now.

Geo is adorable.

Kai is also kind of a father figure to one of the new ninja characters. I think her name is Wyldfyre.

The Cole and Zane reunion was ass. You're telling me that, after they couldn't find each other for however long, they didn't go and squeeze the life out of each other? I saw a clip and it bugged me so bad- it looked like they just... clipped two separate clips of Cole and Zane seeing each other and lost the first clip's amount of emotion. Cole was running to go and greet Zane, and then he just puts his hand on his shoulder? Nah. (Maybe it's because I'm a massive Glacier fan, but ugh... I can't help it.)

They kind of made up for it when Zane called puppy Cole cute. That was adorable, especially with how Cole looked up at Zane after turning back into a human.

Okay, let's get this show on the road.

Divider made by steddiecameraroll-graphics

Episode 1: The Merge (1)

Alright, so we're just immediately getting into the merge. Not even minute in, lol okay.

The intro to the ninja was pretty epic.

Standing that close to an explosion... that would've lead to some terrible injury for Arin... (that's his name right?)

Okay, but to watch everything you ever knew and loved just... vanish? That would fucking suck. That probably led a lot of people to go down their villain path.

That zoom in and that angry look on Arin's face... is he gonna become a villain?

So Arin is definitely a kid when the merge happened, given that he has those little Lego legs. So, now, he's at least a teenager. It's definitely been plenty of years. (We're not even 5 minutes in yet.)

Cute puppies at the junkyard.

For everything bad that Ninjago writers do to the series, the animators always pop off with the visuals. The lighting is immaculate.

Arin's voice... it feels familiar. NO FUCKING WAY HE'S CHEF FROM THE TDI REBOOT????? No, how... HOW

Okay... so Arin knows a little bit of Spinjitzu... how? I thought you had to be taught the ways of Spinjitzu before you could learn it. Sure, his role models are the ninja, but there's no way he would've been able to pick up on the tiny things just by watching them do it.

Little dancing robots lol

No matter how many years it's been, hearing the phrase "BFF" be said out loud still makes me cringe, no matter what show I'm watching.

I like that he's a little baker.

Dumbass villain lol

No matter how good of terms I would be with anyone, even a frog anthro, I still would not be cool with them using their tongue to give me a high five.

Why is Mr. Frohicky so adamant about them dropping out?

So the Never Realm is connected to this universe because of the merge. Can't believe I didn't think about that. Could definitely lead to more Zane-Never Realm angst.

That's Starlight Glimmer. Kreel is Starlight Glimmer. Wow.

Oh, Kreel is so cheating.

Yep. AND attempting murder.

So that little dragon gifted Sora with powers? That's pretty cool.

What do you mean "how'd you-"? You know that your spinjitzu is terrible.

So were Sora's powers given to her or already within her?

LLOYD! I already knew we'd see him eventually, but it's still good to see him.

I feel like Lloyd's intro was kinda... rushed? Like, we had less than 30 seconds before the credits and then he suddenly appears? It kinda makes sense, but... idk

Episode 2: The Merge (2)

I miss you, old theme song. I want you back.

So Lloyd saw Arin do spinjitzu, but didn't see who did the spinjitzu? It was clearly weak, and orange, and while [I think] Kai's spinjitzu is orange, he's definitely not weak. Lloyd would have known it was Kai, or any of the ninja he knows. This was clearly just for the reveal to Lloyd, and probably to measure up his disappointment if he ever admits it later on, but like... come on.

Sora becoming a fan while watching Lloyd fight is kinda cute.

Arin, you nasty; wash the mask you put on your face all the time. I bet he's gotten sick countless times because of that thing lol

The fact that Arin immediately calls Lloyd "Master Lloyd".

So Lloyd can't hear Rapton yelling, but he can hear footsteps behind him from an equal amount of distance? Damn, he must've gotten good at ignoring villains' monologues.

Poor Sora... second hand embarrassment is terrible.

The new theme song... no. I don't like it. I'm sorry.

Okay, so the dragon is giving Sora it's powers?

So messages can go anywhere? I don't know why, but I thought that the places that the other ninja were stuck in were completely unreachable, because they were separate universes apart. ... I did notice that there was an unstable crack in the sky in the last episode, when Raz got a hold of the Sora and Arin, so if they are universes apart, maybe that's how they would send messages to each other?

How many times has the Destiny's Bounty been rebuilt.

MASTER WU!

Lloyd believing Wu is just immortal. I kinda get it, but like... look at him. He's gonna blow to dust in - at most - a couple more decades, trust me.

Goddamn, why is Zane full tits out in the flashback?

Okay, so the dragon they found is a "Source Dragon" right?

Lloyd beating the shit out of Kai without even thinking.

Kai and Lloyd's little spin hug... that's cute. It's nice to see them being close.

Yeah, you already said the merge-quakes were getting worse, Lloyd. I don't think you needed to reiterate that lol

I like how Arin's spinjitzu mess ups still end up helping out in the long run.

So is Raz hunting down the ninja?

Ah, so the power is within the ninja and the dragons just enhance the amount of power they have on it by like... 10x.

I like that Lloyd stayed humble and just became the new ninjas' teacher instead of calling himself a master.

Ryu staying with the ninja over his own family feels kinda fucked up... I think the better excuse would be that Ryu's family need to keep Ryu safe while they look for a new home, and the ninja can protect them from danger. The decision Ryu made shouldn't have been up to them, with them being so young.

So, no, they are still hunting dragons, they're just using the ninja as a tool. Got it.

Episode 3: Crossroads Carnival

Sora's not gonna like being a ninja.

Lloyd's gonna be a little asshole lol

Those mechanisms haven't been cleaned ever, Sora. Don't get your hopes up.

Yep, Lloyd's pushing it and trying to be Wu lol

Lloyd's incapability to grow facial hair is more canon than anything lol

How did Sora not get set on fire?

"Without tea, I literally have no idea if that was fast enough-" So Lloyd's just a massive dumbass who looks too far into Wu's teachings? That's funny lmao

Why the fuck would you bring a dragon with you? That's literally the worst idea with dragon hunters around.

Oh, skeleton characters are back! I haven't seen them since... the episodes that took place before season 1? Has it really been that long since they were last used?

"Oh, come on, we never would have done that to Master Wu! ... That's a lie." Lmfao

How does Arin's grappling hook literally grapple onto everything?

Lobo is great actually.

Oh great, Kreel character redemption. That came out of fucking nowhere and feels forced as hell.

"My... only friend." You're calling this person "Targy" or whatever. There's something going on here.

The ninja tribute... that's so sweet.

Wait, so they know who Wu and Nya are, but they don't recognize Lloyd? The green ninja? The guy that is literally supposed to be the most powerful ninja?

The non existent beard strikes again.

"Do not type cast me!" I like this guy's dramatic flare.

"This is like that nightmare I had-" Funny, but does this say something about Lloyd's character?

Raz just goes and hires random fuckos? Hm... Is he connected to Jay in that aspect then?

I'm having a pretty good time with this so far! I don't like the theme song, though; it reminds me too much of She-ra and the Princesses of Power theme song, which also bothered me.

Current progress on the piece I'm inking:

[kickingitwithkirk]

Restless Man Pt II

Summary: Beau Arlen finds himself in the middle of a case with more twists than a country road.

Pairing: Beau Arlen x Reina Cetanwakuwa-Stanley

Word Count: 1681

Warnings: cursing, show level violence, derogatory remarks (some in native languages) poisoning, murder

A/N: The inklings for this started the first time I heard Jensen singing Restless Man. This work is partially from historical information and canon elements from the Big Sky series.

*Set after the series finally 3:13 That Old Feeling.

A/N II: All Native American words/sentences in this part are Lakota resourced from freelang.net and glosbe.com *some algorithmically generated on these sites.

*Translation:  lala -grandfather  Cetanwakuwa -attacking hawk or to hunt and chase

A/N III: Biology isn't my strong suit, so all references likely have errors.

*divider by @firefly-graphics

*no beta -all mistakes are mine

Pt I masterlist

5:30 AM

Arlen pulls into the bank's back park lot and spots Reina sitting on an old pickup’s hood. Parking next to it, he climbs out and with hands on hips snaps, “Why the hell are we here at this ungodly hour?”

“Look who’s running a quart low on civilized this morning.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” 

“It means you’re a grumpy asshole till you get some lead in your system.” Hopping off the hood, Reina hands him a to-go cup, “So fuel up Texas.”  Arlen catches a whiff of the fresh roast bouquet and a far more civilized thank you darling slips past his lips making her eyes roll. 

“And to answer your question being here at the ass-crack of dawn ensures what we're doing doesn’t get out any time soon. Oh, by the way, I flunked charm school so nothing stops me from being an asshole darling.”

***

The bank manager removed their key grumbling as they left. 

“Obviously, not a morning person either,” Arlen commented while pulling the large rectangular box from its cubby and placing it on the table opens its hinged lid revealing an assortment of documents. Picking up the top one he reads the contents. “This is a medical file dated almost eight months ago. Gerald started seeing a Dr. Johnson in Billings who ordered..wow, that’s a boatload of tests.”

Reina began reading over his shoulder, “This doesn’t make sense, Lala Gerald was healthy as a horse for a man his age and preferred the healer over western medicine.” Handing it to her he starts going through the others. “Found the test results. Great, it’s one of those percentages per whatever. Personally, I like the connect the dots ones.” She points to the first results. “These here are chemicals you’d normally find on a working ranch. They’re within the safe margins for exposure.” Arlen was surprised, “You know how to read this?” 

“What? You thought I was only a fabulous derrière?” 

Arlen tilted his head a certain way letting his expression say it all. “Man, you got that dad’s done with your shit look down pat!” He’s still unamused. “Okay, I worked for the mobile vet a few summers, taught me how to do work-ups on the livestock.” Reina goes back to explaining the results then pauses at the end. 

“Huh. These look like medicinals from the healer, but the lab could not identify all the plants used.” She gives Arlen a contemplative look, “You got anything on your plate this morning?”

“Nothing pressing Hoyt can’t handle. Why?” 

“I have an idea where to find out what these could be. Your truck or mine Texas?”

Montana State University

Bozeman 

“Remind me again why we drove all this way?” A tense Arlen dodges another Twalking student in the crowded corridor. “Because these people won’t know me or my family connections like in Helena. Here we are,” Reina opens the door under the Biotechnology Department sign. 

“Dr. Newsom?” The person writing on a whiteboard turns. “Hello, I’m Sheriff Beau Arlen. Dean Wilson said you might be able to help with some toxicology report results.” 

Arlen hands over the file and the doctor skims over the pages, “I take it’s the last one set marked inconclusive you’re inquiring about?” “Yes. My partner here believes they might be compounded from some types of plants?” 

Newsom seemed impressed and wrote out the information on the board then stepped back studying it. “Would you mind if I called in another colleague to consult on this?”

***

Sometime later 

“Everything all right?” Reina inquires when Arlen walks back into the room. “Hoyt was checking in.” Retaking his seat, he hears her mutter, “Some things never change.” 

“What the hell does that mean?”

“That your girlfriend can’t stand not knowing where you are, who you’re with, and when you’ll be back.” 

“Hoyt’s my undersheriff.…” “…from what I hear, under in the literal sense.” “She’s not my girlfriend or significant other so what's your problem with her?” “It’s always been her problem. Never mine.” Newsom's colleague interrupts their terse discussion. 

“Your assumptions were correct. These here,” circling a few abbreviations, “Are used in many medicinal compounds by the local native healers. Unfortunately, we cannot identify what species they come from because we can’t find any record of the source materials.”

“Hypothetical question,” Reina says, “Could their source be something the People purposely choose not to share but still retain knowledge of how to create?” Arlen shoots her a quizzical look.

“Yes, that is a possible hypothetical. We know from early expeditions writings and verbal stories passed on among native inhabitants that much of their knowledge has been lost due to time and habitats, or intentionally hidden due to subjugation and indoctrination.”

Arlen's thumbs' tapping became more intense and thirty miles down the road he suddenly detoured his vehicle, Pedro, onto a dirt track. “Umm, do you know whose road we’re on?”

“Not a damn clue! Call it Bob’s Road.”

“Hope Bob doesn’t take a shot for us trespassing.” Arlen slams on the brakes and cuts the engine before shifting in his seat to glare at her, “What with the wild goose chase?”

“Sorry, I don’t….”

 “Don’t bullshit me Reina! I want you to tell me the truth.”

“I needed confirmation.”

“Conformation of what?”

“That you weren’t in on it!” Arlen was taken aback by her insinuation. “You think I had a hand in Gerald’s death?”

“No, in its cover-up!” She climbs out slamming the door shut emphasizing how pissed she was.  “I don't know if you can be trusted AssButt!” A now equally pissed Arlen copies her.  “That why you pulled a subterfuge ‘bout being a Texas Ranger?” His question makes Reina whirl around as he continues. “I know a lotta Montanans still have this old west mentality regarding the law."

“Don’t turn this to be about me!” Reina yells stalking towards him, not stopping till she invades his personal space. "I know about your partner in Houston so let me ask you something. How'd drowning your guilt and shame in booze and other avenues work out for ya?” Arlen's eyes narrow. “Seems you ended up in the same place as every other motherfucker who takes that route. Leaving a trail of collateral damage in your wake including your family.” Arlen's low growl of Leave them outta this only makes her double down. 

“Your ex remarried some guy and moved three states away with your kid to escape the humiliation! And what did you do? You followed them up here like a dog with its tail,” Arlen surges forward, slamming his hands flat on either side of her head, pinning her against the truck's door. His heart hadn’t pounded this hard since trying his damnedest not to kill Buck Barnes for kidnapping his daughter when Reina did something most would consider not only insane but confused the hell outta him by leaning forward so close he could feel her breath caress his lips as she spoke. 

“I bet you’re weighing your options on whether to sock me or kiss me.” Arlen jerks back with such an incredulous expression it makes her chuckle, “I have that effect on people.” 

“No more bullshit Reina! Did you know what that report would say?”

“Had an inkling you helped confirm.” Reina sagged back against the door. “After I left Montana, Lala and I talked practically every day. I knew something was wrong around six months ago when he suddenly stopped video chatting.” She looked up towards the clear blue sky, “I couldn’t get leave. DPS had just sent me to the Del Rio sector to help track down cartel smugglers. You can’t fathom the shit they’re doing, what’s being covered up by the mainstream media and those fuckers in D.C.”  Reina swiped at her eyes.

“I had a few run-ins with cartel elements which was bad enough.” Arlen placed his hand on her shoulder, “I’m truly sorry you didn’t have the chance to say goodbye.” Reina nodded in gratitude, and he asked in a gentler tone, “Do you have any idea why someone would want to do away with Gerald?”

“Have you heard of the new housing development proposed north of the city?” Arlen acknowledged he has. “Did you know the day lala died, the developers submitted an impact study on expanding that small airport in Silver City?” Arlen looked confused. “Helena already has a good-sized airport...what a minute. Why would a suburb need its own airport? It wouldn’t unless it’s a guise for something bigger.”

“Like something that’ll eventually run from outside Helena’s city limits up to the foothills of the Flathead and Lewis and Clark national forests?” Arlen's brow furrowed, “Okay. Excuse me, I need a map,” he opened the passenger door and glove box retrieved one and moves to the hood. “I’m not really familiar with that area,” Reina reaches over, pointing to a smaller valley snug between the mountain ranges.

“Phase one is here. It’s proposed to expand the airport to accommodate more traffic and have its own charter service catering to the financially privileged.”

“Darling, if there’s one thing I know about people with money, they don’t like to be too far from their modern conveniences.” Reina raised an eyebrow, “Well Darling, the deal includes building a luxury resort which will increase the tax base so much it’ll price the current residents living there out so they’ll end up doing what?”

“Sell to the developers who’ll eventually build residences tailored for their clientele.” Arlen shakes his head in disbelief. “Wait, what’s in Phase Two?” Reina’s voice took on a serious note, “I need you to swear on whatever you hold sacred, you’ll keep this under wraps because I could go to jail for possessing this information.” Arlen holds out his hand, “I give you my word.” She takes his offered hand before pulling out her phone and showing him a picture of a scale model representing the future Helena Valley.

“How far would you go if one man was standing in your way of building the next metropolis?”

tbc

SPN TAGS: @donnaintx  @lyarr24  @flamencodiva  @lassie-bird @nancymcl  @spnbaby-67  @leigh70

Dean/Jensen:  @thoughts-and-funnies  @stoneyggirl2  @akshi8278  @beabutterfly987 @smoothdogsgirl

@deans-spinster-witch

[ultraericthered]

Put together a graphic of how the third and final year of the Pokemon Best Wishes! anime should have gone had there been no disruption.

Important notes about what alterations I’d prefer to see:

- BW100 should end a little differently, as the ending we got felt super rushed and it’d have been better to let the comedy of the whole “wow, literally none of this needed to happen” outcome really sink in.

- Trip would recieve stronger development and better treatment at the Unova League, including the reveal of who his older sister is.

- In BW106, Bianca doesn’t lose to Cameron in the prelim round. She and Cameron have their battle in the same round where Ash and Stephan have theirs. Cameron wins when his Riolu evolves into Lucario and he advances on to face Ash, but this time it only lasts a single episode because he’s rightly disqualified for bringing 5 Pokemon to a 6-on-6 match. Ash advances to face Virgil in the semi-finals but loses to him. Whether or not Virgil then wins the whole Unova League with his Eeveelution team or not, I don’t really care.

- In BW111, Team Rocket is kept away from the twerps when we see they’re back in Unova and we see them catch Frilish and Amoongus. We’d also get a Giovanni and Matori scene alluding to their desire to crush Ash and Pikachu and the recently re-activated Team Plasma.

- BW112 would be the reveal of TR’s new balloon and their first time using their newly caught Pokemon against Ash and friends. When defeated, they fall out of the balloon and into the water below.

- The Aspertia City Gym plot is divided into two episodes, and Cheren actually has a purpose to serve later on down the road.

- Clair would guest star in BW115 and set up Iris’ post-series special. Team Rocket is also featured, battling the twerps and this time fleeing the scene using their jet packs.

- In BW116, Team Rocket fly out of the balloon’s explosion on their jet packs rather than fly into the sky screaming their old catchphrase.

- In BW117, Team Rocket retreats on ther jet packs after their plan has been thwarted rather than make another failed theft attempt.

- The Flower Garden Troupe returns in BW118, it’s Mrs. Chandler’s jewelry that gets stolen by Teaque, and Looker makes a cameo in a call with Tedesco.

- BW119 is Team Plasma’s next appearance and now where we meet Brad/Barret and the grunt squad that’s searching for N. This would be the second appearance of Ghetsis as well.

- BW120 has a Shiny Druddigon caught by Georgia in order to do battle against Iris’ Pokemon, Dragons VS Dragons.

- BW121 now features the finally B-Class Burgundy helping the Striaton triplets protect their Gym.

- BW122 now features a brief cameo from Colress, who Schwartz and Weiss make a call to early on because they’re charged with delivering Pokemon to him for experiments with the Control Device.

- Stephan is now part of BW124 - he was introduced in an episode about Oshawott and its scalchop, so this brings him full circle. Luke is also here filming the tournament since it’s now set at around Poke’ Star Studios in Virbank City. Team Rocket is not included in this version of the story, but N is included.

- Team Rocket is not included in BW125′s version of the story, but N is included. Some illusion N sees makes him flash back to his past.

- In BW126, the Poke’ Pirates are revealed to be Pokemon who were “liberated” from their trainers by Team Plasma, which strikes a chord with N. Team Rocket once again retreats on their jet packs.

- Virgil replaces Alexa in BW128′s version of the story, and N is here. Team Rocket is more capable here and have to be beaten in a true battle, which ends with them getting a “human rockets” style blast-off.

- Colress and Team Plasma return in BW129, and it’s the next time they and Team Rocket clash. We’re also given information about a “Project F” that Ghetsis is having carried out in the east.

- BW130′s version of the story includes N, and Team Rocket once again blasts off using their jet packs.

- Again, N and Team Rocket’s jetpacks are now in the BW131 story. 

- N gets lost from the others in BW132, which now explicitly takes place in Mistralton City, and when Pikachu zaps Team Rocket, we’re once again given the “human rockets” style blast-off for them.

- The city featured in BW133 is now (still) Mistralton City.

- The placement of BW135 would put it at July 4, the week before a certain movie featuring a certain Pokemon that’s seen in this very episode would hit theaters. That’s how it was supposed to go.

- BW136 is set in Iccirus City and has Cheren’s earlier presence pay off when he’s visiting and meets Bianca in her final appearance. After helping Bianca decide where she wants to take her life, Cheren reveals old glasses he used to wear and gives them to Bianca, a cute shout out to B2W2. We also get scenes of Team Plasma plotting.

- The White Ruins three-parter gets its ending changed so that in addition to the Charizard VS Reshiram battle we were promised in the opening, Reshiram’s fury after the Control Device is destroyed is not talked down and it flies towards Dragonspiral Tower. This initiates a new two-parter where Team Plasma boards their newly completed flying frigate to try and freeze Reshiram solid in order to re-capture it, Cedric Juniper brings out the Golden Dark Stone that Ash uses to summon Zekrom, Zekrom and Reshiram + Team Plasma and the good guys (w/ Team Rocket) have a big clash the goes from Dragonspiral Tower over the Moor of Iccirus and all the way to near Entralink, and at one point we even get to see Champion Alder as he’s currently apprenticing Trip. It all ends the same, but it would make for a grander and more suitable finale to the Unova Myth Arc.

- Genesect & The Legend Awakened takes place between BW141 and BW142, it’s set in Castelia City, and Mewtwo is the Mewtwo.

- BW142 would have the “leaving Unova” story play out slightly different and would be the last time for Team Rocket’s “human rockets” style blast-off rather than the first time.

- BW143 is now the only time in the entirety of BW where the phrase “Ya na kanji!” or “blasting off again!” is said by Team Rocket. Alexa’s presence is also obviously omitted, and Dr. Zager gets his final appearance giving TR the tools for their big shipjacking scheme.

- BW144 plays out much more like this, with Ash, Pikachu, and Team Rocket not departing for the Kalos region at the end of it.

Oh sweet Arceus, this would’ve been so much fucking better!

Trainwreck nature of the third and final year aside, Best Wishes is overall a good series. The Myth Arc was fairly good. The White Ruins arc was really good, as was the iterations of N and Team Plasma that were included. The major character arcs and their end points were mostly good. But...it’s all just good. Greatness was tragically denied.

[broodsys]

weird and vivid dreams are p common for me but this one was remarkable lmao

pt.1:

entered a weird dilapidated building that was somehow associated with that old candy mountain meme? went there with a few friends. there was a speaker/mic thing in the top of the room that welcomed us with... smth that definitely wasn't part of candy mountain but in the dream it was so anyway. but we got the response right and the voice actually fucked it up which was funny. all this to get into a memey hotel?

pt.2:

once inside the hotel was weird. we were warned that bathroom doors don't rly lock (lovely...) and everyone but me was shown to their room and at first it was just me, my brother, and my friend - like, in the whole hotel, just the three of us.

pt.3:

more ppl started to show up at that point and i finally had to ask for directions to my room bc we were all just hanging out in the common area but it was becoming crowded. however the person running the hotel had changed seamlessly via dream logic to someone... who was kinda unsettling. this young bubbly woman who kept getting everything wrong but insisting we keep all her attempts (like little notes of her trying to figure it out) for some weird sentimental reason? and when my friend did the math the right way and ignored her attempt, she came over and very sadly pointed at it like oh... i hope you fill this out later... keep it going! like it was So Important to her it was weird. she was like that about everything. p unsettling after a while.

pt.4:

the ppl who showed up were... also weird, altho it only showed slowly. for quite a while it was just a vague sense of wow this might've been a mistake. then they started getting creepier - they'd bring us up endless flights of stairs and as long as we were bright and happy about it everything was fine, but if we complained (the rest under a cut bc it gets creepy/graphic at this point - but long story short, they were all demons!)

so if we complained they'd start threatening and attacking us. little cuts and things. so we stopped complaining p fast, even though going up endless stairs was exhausting. passed other ridiculously cheery looking ppl and began to wonder which of them were trapped like i was and which were the ones trapping them

pt.5:

at one point the guy i was walking with cut my leg enough to bleed and i jumped on criticizing him for staining my yellow pants. like, look at how obvious you made it! surely your boss won't like this, you're supposed to be subtle, right?

so he got real frustrated and we were by elevators (that ofc everyone was refusing to use) and he... just gave up and laid between the elevator doors and let them slice him in half (???) and i was like oh shit oh fuck okay BYE im OUT im DONE and began running down the stairs

pt.6:

turns out demon parts are still mobile and sentient!

so like... fucking demon viscera keeps getting bigger and chasing everyone and killing them. like this guy is fed the fuck up. i dart into some weird opening that puts me into a restaurant that hasn't realized yet, pop out from under a table, surprising a bunch of ppl (?) very much but i'm just flat out running now like idc. and fleshy bloody extensions keep moving across the floor and ppl are slowly starting to realize what's happening

pt.7:

end up encountering some Big demon woman and being like fuck fuck fuckkkkk im dead but she was busy killing other ppl (very graphically!) and there was a tiny bit of space around her so i just took the most ridiculous opportunity and while she was splitting some guy apart i just ducked around her and ran

much later realized she was actually on our side? or at least, not on the demon's side? so she had been killing one of the demons, but i had no way of knowing that at the time

pt.8:

dream really took a turn here. ended up in a group with... superheroes? like vaguely reminiscent of wolverine and gambit and two others i can't place. but it barely matters bc none of them were rly relevant except the unknown guy who gave me portal guns (am i chell now????) to try and get us all out of there but they didn't really work lm a o. they'd open portals but like, i could maybe put my fist through one and that was all. not! helpful!

pt.9:

reunited with the group of surviving humans from the hotel and it was so weird... trying to figure out what to do and where to go from here and communicating about which demons were on our side - or at least, killing the other demons instead of attacking us. then there was a weird commercial that played in the background that had a rly subtle nod towards someone having two dads and i was like 'ah that's nice' ?????????? ? ? ? ?

[what-if-i-just-did]

Destiel Prompt List 3. Extended version of a classic Destiel scene.

Trigger Warnings: graphic descriptions of pain, mind control and the aftermath of being beat up. Also there's some kissing but it isn't really nsfw. And as always feels.

Mind Control and Make-Out Sessions

"We need you."

Shit. He's gonna have to do the movie thing, isn't he? If it'll help Cas.

He swallows.

"I need you."

The next words are 'I love you', but he chokes on them. He tries "Cass.." instead. He thinks his voice breaks.

It seems to work. Cas dropped the Blade.

He tries to keep eye-contact, but just a few seconds in and he's done. Shit, his arm hurts like a biiiiiiiitch. And his face is all fucked up. He's fairly sure his cheekbone is fractured in at least three places, and his eye is definetly messed up, and some skin's been ripped, and there's no way he doesn't have a concussion, but it's fine, he's had worse. (Way worse) His breathing is incredibly ragged, though, almost verging on a panic attack, but he has more important things right now. Namely, Cas.

Then there's a blinding light and oh, Cas got the tablet. He closes his eyes.

Cas is looking at him now. Dean's trying to decide if Cas is okay now, but with a fucked-up eye and the angel being as unreadable as ever, he's not sure. "Cas.." he says, like he's approaching a wild animal. Cas reaches for him.

"No.. Cas.. Cas ! "

He grabs onto Cas's arm, uselessly, he knows, as if he could possibly do anything at all to stop Castiel from hurting him, and Cas isn't doing the two-fingers-to-the-forehead thing, no, Cas is cupping the beat-up side of his head, and it hurts, but Cas is being gentle, and if Dean is about to die then fuck, he leans into Cas's hand because yeah, it feels good if he ignores the rest, so he breathes in sharply and he waits for the blindingly hot pain to course through him and turn his insides to liquid, waits for his eyes to be burnt out and decides he forgives Cas and he has just enough time for a stab of panick when he realizes he'll probably wake up in Hell, again before he's opening his eyes.

He's not in Hell. In fact, he's still kneeling in the fucking crypt. In front of Cas. But.. nothing hurts. His face, his arm... shit, did Cas just... heal him?

He's panting. He looks at Cas, and the angel is looking so guilty, so motherfreakin' cute- no, adorable, that Dean's breath hitches. Which, you know, he's pretty sure is not a reaction he's supposed to have about Cas, who's a dude, (or, at least in a dude and wow that took a turn wait a minute), and also like this heavenly, millenia-old warrior of heaven or whatever but right now he's got other focusses.

"So sorry, Dean."

There's about a million things he could say, but he goes for

"What the Hell just happened". Are you okay?

"I... Naomi was..."

"Yeah, about that. Who's Naomi?" And what did she do to you?

"Naomi is an Angel of Heaven-" Which is the moment Dean realises he's still on his knees, in front of Cas. It takes him about .5 seconds to get to his feet. Cas stops talking to give him a confused look (with the squint and headtilt and it's not helping Dean with trying to stop seeing Cas as cute) but Dean just shoots him a quasi-innocent look that says 'I'm ignoring that look, you were saying?' so Cas keeps talking.

"She.. She's an Angel of Heaven who.. well, her job is to make sure everyone obeys their orders. She sent Angels to Purgatory to, save, me, but she realized of course I wouldn't simply obey her. She gave me... exercizes. Tests, perhaps. Or.. well, whatever you want to call it. She had to be certain I'd obey her. I..." Cas stops to shake his head and break eye-contact, looking at the floor. "Dean, I am incredibly sorry. I would never... I never wanted to hurt you. I wish I could take it back." He makes a vague hand-motion. "I healed you. I suppose that's as close as it'll get." Blue meets green again. "I would never have done that if I was in control of my actions."

Dean leans backwards. Between the emotion is Cas's voice, and the information that someone, some dickwad angel, had been controlling his Cas (he knows Cas isn't really his but it does feel that way. His guardian angel.) for that long, he's torn between possesive anger and being touched by how much Cas cares.

"I forgive you. Hell, I already forgave you since before you stopped... Cas, it wasn't you, okay? I think that's pretty obvious. I forgive you."

He needs that much to be clear to the angel (only angel he'll ever care about). Now that he got that much clear, he took a breath. It's been four years. He's already lost Cas... more than once. And maybe his brain isn't really working cause this is gonna have consequinces but right now he can't really care. He just needs to say it.

"I love you, of course I forgive you."

Cas frowns. "You.. love.. me? How.. after all I've done, after I just- how could you say that?"

Okay. not what he'd been expecting. Uhm. "Cas." He needs to find some words, but it's like all the words in existence are playing hide and seek and he's it (isn't that tag? Oh whatever). "You... You.. Cas, you've done so much for us. And I already said, I forgive you for beating me up. And.. whatever Naomi did, ain't your fault. Yeah, sure, you've made mistakes.. big ones. But so have I. So has Sammy, I mean... I don't care. Besides, love.. I don't know, it's probably just a stupid human thing, but.. mistakes, and betrayels and whatever, it's not supposed to matter. It doesn't matter. I love you. And.. yeah, we've got shit to work out, but that doesn't take away from me loving you. Get it? Like.. we're family. You know what family does?, family forgives. And loves. So. There's that." There. That was, decent, right? Maybe shouldn't've said the family part, but, well.. too late now, huh.

Cas nods, looking a little... overwhelmed. "I... I think I understand. it sounds like such a human thing, but, I... I love you too, Dean. In a way I don't think.. I don't think my brethren could."

And oh. Cas probably doesn't realize what that would mean, in human terms, what he just said. But there seems to be some residual brain damage or something, because the next thing Dean blurts is "Cas can I kiss you", followed instantly by him shoving a hand over his mouth and wishing the ground could swallow him up.

Cas tilts his head. Squints. "Yes."

"What?" W H A T ? ! ? Did Cas just...

"Yes. You can.. kiss me, Dean."

Dean gulps. Yes, definetly residual brain damage. Cas was probably feeling too guilty to properly clean him up. Right now, Dean could care less. "I... okay."

He takes a carefull step forwards. Cas doesn't move. Another step, and now he's standing right iin front of Cas. His eyes flicker over Cas's face, trying to find reluctance, or hesitation, or disgust. They find curiosity, and thinly-veiled exitement (?) and some caution. That's fine. He angles his head a little, and Cas's breath is pracitcally ghosting over Dean's lips. He hesitates, like if he stepped away now, they could pretend this never happened. But he started this. He wants this. And Cas said yes. "Love you." Dean whispers before sealing their lips and closing his eyes.

Cas's lips are soft. So soft. He cautiously moves against them, and consequentially inhales a lungfull of Cas. He smiled into the kiss, and he can feel Cas move a little too. He brings his hand up to cup Cas's jaw a little, for balance, and Cas does the same, but a little less shy, leaving his hand closer to Dean's lips than Dean would dare do to Cas right now. They shift their heads to different angles, putting more or less pressure to the kiss they're sharing. Then Dean carefully reaches out with his tongue, licks over Cas's lips, and Cas gasps. Dean takes the oppertunity and licks the inside of Cas's upper lip, and Cas lets him, so he doesn't stop. He doesn't want to stop.

It doesn't take long after that for the kiss to become a little... less innocent. Their tongues find eachother, and more hands are being shifted, holding onto shirts and trenchcoats and jawlines and hair and chests, and then someone moans, and the kiss turns desperate, hopefull, longing, nostalgic. Everything they wanted, out on the table, and mirrored on each side. Why did they wait four years with this? Why did it take losing eachother, over and over and over, for them to realize they could have what they wanted? They could have had this all along.

Then Cas puts his hand flat on Dean's chest, and it's clear what that means- stop. Dean pulls back, opens his eyes. "Shit, you okay, what's-" but Cas is softly smiling.

"Dean... as much as I'm enjoying.. this. We have... we have things to deal with, to discuss. Naomi... the Tablet. I think we should put this on pauze. What's the term- raincheck?"

Dean tries to clear up the love and lust fogging his head. Take a breath. "Y-yeah. Yeah, okay. Raincheck. Talk first, make out later. I can do that."

He breathes a few more times. Cas is patient. He puts his clothes and hair back into more or less the configuration they had before Cas's hands found them. He breathes. "Okay...

So, this.. Naomi. Has been controlling you since she got you out of Purgatory?", he prompts. Cas nods sullenly. "Yeah."

Then, of course, Cas leaves. So, 'Make out later' never really happens. Of course, that's how it goes when you're a Winchester. Always got a world to save.

[cosmicgardencreative]

Vindictus - F2P Action MMORPG & Why We Love It

Hi all, it's been a minute since Ismaire and I got to let our hair down, so I'm just gonna take a sec to share my love of Vindictus. 

I don't always talk about how a game is underrated, but man, I will stand by Nexon/DevCat's first free-to-play action MMORPG. I've heard many people put it down for how "unoptimized" this game is. I'm not a PC gamer, but I feel that with today's technology, you can definitely play this game on today's graphics standards. 

Obviously this isn't a comparison to the new Vindi in development, but I'm just impressed to see how far this MMO has come.

PaikMyungJin (left, Evie/Choi) and Ismer (right, Lann/Ismaire) make a comeback to Vindictus in 2024.

The game can overall feel pretty simple and low-graphics to some, but frankly, I just see that as the dev team being smart with their resources. The only hang-up I can think is if you have a slow internet connection, it might be a difficult game to play with others, but it's pretty solo-friendly for the first 2-3 seasons. 

Kinkoku (left, Sou/Ismaire) wondering what Biseuri (Sylas/Haegi/Choi) is thinking about.

I'll have to do a separate post that goes into the game's history. There's so much that could be said when the game first rolled out on October 13, 2010 for the US release. Izzy and I dating coincided with us finally having a game we could play together, since a lot of console games weren't prioritizing couch co-op as much (except for Resident Evil 5-6). [[On a separate side note, I just realized where our points of influences could be traced back to about here. All the more reason why we just love some of our old fandoms...]]

The nice thing about Vindictus is that you can play it solely with a keyboard (our preferred controls), a mouse + keyboard, or a gamepad. The game is pretty versatile for people with preferences. Most of the characters respond pretty well to the keyboard controls. The few that I noticed were difficult to maneuver in combat was Kai with his bow and crossgun, and Hurk with his teide (sword + shotgun combo), more for precision reasons than anything. Ultimately, do what's comfortable for you!

Alts, alts, and more alts!

Yes, this game will make you play so many alts. And it's worth it. I find this comparable to FFXIV's multi-job branches that your WoL can unlock, but instead of it all stockpiled to one character, you have multiple MCs with various backstories and even special connections to one another! This game being so lore-heavy actually deserves to have multiple characters for the player to explore with. You'll find over time that you'll catch some things you didn't think about from your first playthrough, and it'll just hit you differently... 😭 

Kiena (Fiona/Choi) slicing through enemies.

BradieHU (bg left, Charon/Izzy) and Lycapollos (fg right, Achel/Choi), hecking over a Kobold commander.

PaikMyungJin firing her lasers at a laser cannon/golem.

Ismer slipdashing past the lasers for the finishing kill.

Can't guarantee great screenshots 100% of the time, but the more you play, the better the chances :) 

______________________________________________________________

Final thoughts:

Being a casual player, I personally can't give a testimony on how the overall MMO culture is like in Vindictus nowadays. We did have a generally good experience since we weren't the types to go ham about stat comparisons and just genuinely want to have fun. You'll likely run into cool people as long as you're a nice and polite gamer. But of course, we weren't exempt from being driven away by guild dramas, which then later caused us to have an on-and-off hiatus from the game since 2014...  (wow it's a decade already...) Just be prepared that you may get inundated with a lot of female characters in very... curvy skins. Some of the costume/outfitters come with special enhancements, and Vindictus really doesn't hide the fact that it's a rated-M game 😳🪭 Personally it does shock me, but at the same time, props to people who aren't afraid to flaunt it 😂

Moonglitter (Eira/Izzy) not afraid to flaunt her "All Curves Revealing Off Shoulder Set". 

Because there's so much content to push through, DevCat did their due diligence in balancing the first 3 seasons of content with gear that rewarded for progressing. If you do appreciate a little bit of a challenge, though, I recommend keeping on the lowbie gear till you know you need the damage boost. And if you ever find yourself not liking the aesthetics, the game is usually good about giving you aesthetic coupons for you to "rent" through events and the AP shop. 

As far as solo/duo-ing experiences go, Izzy and I were able to catch up to Season 3 on our own. We found that we're not able to go through Redeemers currently, but I'm curious to see how well we might be able to duo the battles soon as we're properly geared from endgame :) I'm only hesitant to pug with others because we're not sure if our internet connection could handle a crowd of 2+ external connections. But then again we're working adults who pay for good speed so maybe? lol 

By the way, you get to choose two paths of either a Dark Knight or a Paladin:

Scaley Edgelord

Shiny Sparkle Knight

Thanks for taking the time to read my little appreciation post for Vindictus. If you're another Vindi-fan, feel free to comment on your experience here! Vindictus/Mabinogi Heroes is such a niche fandom, so I'd be happy to chat with others who love the gameplay and lore ^_^ I'm very inclined to share some Vindictus fanart in the near future, so let's have fun!

[bug-decal-kissing]

Hey friends!

All the Leaves are Brown (And the Sky is Grey), by Oswalish, was updated today, with 4/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Slow Burn, Alternate Universe - Office, Office AU, Wow tagging is hard, Enemies to Lovers, Kinda, Bitter Exes, Pining, Mutual Pining, Chronic Pain, Scarab has Chronic Pain, Walking Canes, Alternate Universe - Human"

You can read it here:

THE GIRLS ARE HERE !!! Scarab getting frustrated because his normal routine has been ruined is a big mood <3. And Prismo was talking about him :flushed:/j. Using dialogue from the show was funny I 'teehee'ed when I realised/pos.

Come Earn a Place in My Heart, by biteof22, was updated today, with 5/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Slow Burn, Unresolved Tension, Denial of Feelings, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Office, Mutual Pining, Auditor!Prismo tomfooleries, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Relapsing, i pre-wrote this fic a month ago so posting is easier. i swear i'm not doing magic."

You can read it here:

I got VERY SCARED reading this chapter/pos. I was excited at first because yay they get to go to a party together even if it is for work yippie :] and then I remembered the tags and got scared again. Prismo promised no drinking and then he drinked :[ aND THEN THEY KISSED !!!!! EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER/pos.

A new work, Moments In Between by ineedlemonade, was published today, with 1/2 Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Short & Sweet, Not Beta Read, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Light Angst, Dialogue Light, Complicated Relationships, Violent Thoughts"

You can read it here:

SCARAB GET THERAPY MAYBE ?? PLEASE/silly. He cannot understand his emotions, he is so gooberly <3. Him falling asleep pretty much right next to Old Man Prismo was so soft :,] please let him good sleep; imagine Prismo going back in and finding Scarab conked out next to his body what would you do in this situation/j.

A new work, Nature is beautiful... and nutritious? by othersin, was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, return to beetle, Intrusive Thoughts, scarab is done with everything, it is easier for him just to agree than to ask further questions, as a beetle it is normal for him"

You can read it here:

THIS ONE MADE ME CACKLE; GOD FORBID A BUG MAN DO ANYTHING !!!/silly I love Scarab and Prismo and Cosmic Owl just sitting around eating Scarab's molt. Average me and the boys acitivities. As much as I HATE orbo I feel bad for him in this fic, what is one meant to do when you walk into a room to see those three chowing down on Scarab's old skin/silly

Seraphyllic, by DrakianDH, was updated today, with 12/20 Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and Graphic Depictions Of Violence, and Major Character Death, with additional tags "scarab the god auditor - Freeform, prismo the wishmaster - Freeform, Priscrab, ProhibitedWish, Scrabby, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, no beta we get turned to legos like the lich, Adventure & Romance, Story within a Story, Eventual Happy Ending, Maybe - Freeform, Author Is Sleep Deprived, The Author Regrets Nothing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, You gotta work for the comfort, begining poem important, each chapter a word, prepare"

You can read it here:

DIE ORBO DIE ORBO DIE Scarab is so noncholant about getting SLAMMED and it HURTS MY HEART/pos. And now they're going to go to the party together I'm exciteeeed :] Prismo gets to be FANCY they both get to be FANCY AND IT'S GOOD <333

Whim of Wind Took Me South, by Thehyperfixationking, was updated today, with 12/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Attempted Murder, very unsuccessful attempted murder, Eventual Romance, Alternate Universe, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, Hurt/Comfort, Multiverse Travel, no beta we die like old man prismo, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, no rating yet cause the whole story isn't written may change, Enemies to Lovers, Farmworld (Adventure Time), Finn Mertens - Freeform, Jay Mertens - Freeform, Jake (Adventure Time) - Freeform, but like Farmworld Jake, Unique Weapons choice, Winter King (Adventure Time), Princess Bubblegum - Freeform, but like the version from the star, huntress wizard - Freeform, Martin Mertens - Freeform, god I hope I haven't been spelling his name wrong, whatever he sucks I don't feel that bad, Vampires, we got vampires now, Original Character(s), sorry kinda sorta"

You can read it here:

The deadworld is actually the therapyworld now/j. Scarab wing/trauma reveal AND Solstice lore reveal !! Scarab desperately does not want to trust Solstice but HA HA GET TENDER MOMENT'ED !! /j

Wrath of the Wishmaster, by Void_Ink_Studios, was updated today, with 8/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Scarab has identity issues, Orbo is the worst, Prismo gets mad, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Chronic Pain, Scarab has Chronic Pain, Established Relationship, Reminiscing, Backstory, Filling in gaps in the worldbuilding, Worldbuilding, Head cannon nonsense: GO!, Original Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), Implied Sexual Content"

You can read it here:

ORBO MUST FACE REPENTANCE FOR WHAT HE'S DONE TO SCARAB I WILL RIOT !!! /silly My poor sweet bug boy he has trauma </3. AND THEN THEY HAVE A SOFT MOMENT MY EMOTIONS !!!/pos even Nightmo likes Scarab and that makes me REJOICE ! They are so in love I am in love with how in love they are/lh.

NSFW works are below the cut :].

Silly Bug, by TJade, was updated today, with 15/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Genderbending, Domestic Fluff, Teasing, Humor, Suggestive Themes, Awkwardness, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkward Conversations, Communication, Healthy Relationships, Voyeurism, Oral Sex, Threesome, Frottage, Sexual Roleplay, Dacryphilia, Degradation, Orgasm Delay/Denial"

You can read it here:

THEY'RE MARRIAGE?!?!?!?!???/pos AND NO WEDDING ?? I'M WITH MICKEY ON THIS ONE, I WANT MORE PROHIBITEDWISH WEDDING FICS/j/nf Cake revealing the most juiciest information for the fun of it is so on brand <3333/pos.

[elendsessor]

Whats ur fave monhun game and fave monster in the series? It can be based on the fight itself or aesthetics, whatever u want

for favorite game it’s mh4u hands down. it was technically my first monhun game but i quit playing it not long after i first got it lol. it was back in 2015 and little me couldn’t understand the controls and didn’t even want to try. quarantine made me try the rise demo and eventually buy rise, and while waiting for updates to come out for it since i got super into it, it reminded me that oh yeah i do recognize that series name, found my old copy of 4u, and fell in love. i wish i gave it a chance earlier than i did and want to strangle little me for not trying and getting mad over controls. old school monhun hits so different. absolutely nailed atmosphere and though i still really like where gen 5 took things, i feel like they’re proof that better graphics and models =/= automatically better experience. there’s a charm to older games that i don’t think will ever be captured and that just goes for where modern gaming has gone in general. 4u perfected the look while giving straight up some of the best locals in the series (i love heaven’s mount), the jank is never too, y’know, janky, generally the franchise has fantastic music but the use of wind instruments in 4u’s is mwah, i love the towns, i love the extra stuff, the story might not be the forefront but it’s really solid, the monsters are great, it’s such a damn fantastic game. (also being able to use items on the bottom screen is the best thing ever.) it’s dos 2 electric boogaloo. maybe the day i can finally get frontier to run properly on my pc since i know it’s hard to set up the private server stuff i’ll love it too since it’s also just more of dos and i think that’s a good sign.

favorite monster is so hard tho. elder dragons are inherently interesting and mostly well executed so it feels a lil cheap to say one’s my favorite but fuck it. it’s a three way tie.

while not an elder dragon exactly since it doesn’t have elder dragon status, i love chaotic gore magala. i love the magalas and their lore in general but chaotic amplifies all that. it’s not just the depressing nature of it but the concept of “hey what if this butterfly like monster doesn’t molt properly” is so interesting. sunbreak made it a lot cooler tho since wow it has an ecology intro finally and while the og fight is already one of the best fights it was improved a lot in sb. i don’t really like the sb version of its theme tho. og theme was fantastic the cover of it is pretty mid.

gogmazios is also fantastic. buildup is amazing. this really is the living embodiment of the industrial revolution’s consequences in my mind. lore wise yeah disturbingly cool. love the fight to death it’s perfect. also love the weapon designs especially for the greatsword. what else can i say it’s a big demon kaiju :)

and of course i love shantien. only issue is that i haven’t been able to properly fight him bc frontier technically no longer exists. i’d argue for most games you can get a near full experience from watching a playthrough, but for action games like monster hunter where there’s a lot of depth i don’t think watching gameplay footage gives it justice. (of course playing a game yourself provides the best experience possible in most situations too but especially nowadays it’s not that easy anymore. emulation isn’t as simple as i think people make it out to be either. it’s all based on preference but to me i like to play older console games on the consoles they were intended for whenever i possibly can.) basically i think that’s the only thing that holds him back from being my fave. if i ever get a private server to work and finally get the chance who knows he’ll probably beat out the rest of these guys. tbh it wouldn’t take much his design is amazing and his theme is god tier. those two things alone are why i love him.

honorable mention for this goober i just like because he’s super stupid

[aeghina]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @a-little-bit-of-ravioli

1. How many works do you have on A03?

31! Wow! Not even counting my FF.net and Spirit (portuguese site) fics too. I think adding them would be around 50? I know for sure I have much more than that in my drive.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

739.765 Whaaaaat? That's so many! And it's mostly the ones I write in english!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Inuyasha, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, My Hero Academia and Legend of Zelda, more specifically LU!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

A Link in a chain . My first LU fic! My baby <3 Modern day, soulmate marking and platonic soulmates. The main focus is Wild getting to know them, then Legend accepting the others and finally Spirit joining them.

All Might said 'No'. This was a prompt for a MHA server and I had a lot of fun! All Might is the literal quirk, like a ghost protecting the Midoriyas.

Alpha and Omega. That was a challenge! In almost every way possible. Omegaverse, Toshinko

Merman. Also from a prompt. Merperson au, Toshinko.

Soul clock. Also from a prompt. Soulmate au where there's a clock counting down the time until you meet your soulmate. Toshinko and some platonic relationships mentioned too

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! I love to receive comments. Even key-smashing make my day a lot better when I check the email

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably The Sacred Trees. It's more like a happy ending with heavy consequences. I live for happy ending, not sorry about that. They will suffer but they will be happy eventually.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them? I'd dare say the happiest was Took You Long Enough, a Midlink reunion during LU and then afterwards. From the concluded, that's the happiest one but there's an even better one coming from a different fic not posted yet :D

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not recently, but I did in the Inuyasha and Katekyo fandom! I usually say a simple "thank you for your critique" because this usually throw people off enough that they leave me alone.

9. Do you write smut?

No! There's some heavily implied things, but nothing graphic or very descriptive (by very heavily, I'm counting the omegaverse fic too; I liked the concept but wanted something with less sex)

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not oftenly, but yes! The last one I wrote was a MHA and LU crossover when the brain was divided between them.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Once! The person copied one of my biggest series in portuguese, changed the name of the characters and some physical descriptions but it was basically the same. I asked them to put down, but had to dm some of the site's admin to make sure it was deleted.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Once by a friend from the MHA fandom and they encouraged me a lot to write more in english and give it a try. I'm here now so thanks to her!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! It will never see the light of day though, but my bestie and I created a whole novel about a couple and how the wife slowly got mad and then killed him in the end.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Hmm, that's too hard! I have many favorites!

Probably Zelink. LoZ is my old new obsession, it always go back and forth between the games as they are released or as I play again and the animes I'm watching. BotW and TotK gave me so much shipping material I'll be happily reading it until the next game is released.

A close second would be Kyoya/Chrome from KHR. I just love their dynamic, specially when they help each other to grow (and Mukuro being a gremlin jealous older sibling, that's the cherry on top)

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A fanfic for the Grand Chase game when I played it. Ryan almost dies when they cross a desert, Ronan is sent to another world and needs to complete some quests to do that (he's my fav alright? I just needed a reason to send him to another world and do quests by himself, maybe question his faith and all that). I wrote maybe 30k? The idea is lovely and taunts me from a distance but I've never come back to writing it

16. What are your writing strengths?

A very good question... I'd say creating AUs. I love world building and leaving small details that have significance for the story later, I think I do an okay job at balacing dialogue and descriptions. My beta says I'm good at leaving crumbles in the story to solve the problem in the end too

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Punctuation in any language! Ugh, I just love commas sooooo much!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

English punctuation doesn't make much sense for me until now! I'm relying heavily on the corrector and trying to read more to see if I can absorb the info.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Inuyasha!

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I'm very self indulgent when writing so I like most of them. I'd say the longest time favorite in portuguese is Librarian, a Toshinko fic where Inko is the hero and Toshinori is a librarian she meets because her son is a book geek. In english is A Link in a chain.

Wow, that was a lot! Alright, lemme tag @musical-chan , @arecaceae175 and anyone else interested in doing! :D