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hunnicute · 3 years

Note

so I used to be rly into MASH like a solid decade ago so my memory of it isn't great, but that time loop post sparked a memory of a groundhog day fic that I was convinced I had read back in the day, but furious searching unearthed nothing and I was losing my mind a bit because I swear I had read a fic just like that!!

anyway I just now realized the fic I was thinking of was in fact a Band of Brothers fic so. that happened.

but this fruitless search did lead me to discover the sheer volume of MASH fic that's on ao3 now so all this is to say, do you have any recs?

Wow I love this story. I've had that experience too though so you're not alone 😭

Now I have to apologize for this response taking a while, I've been busy the last couple days and wanted to take care in compiling this list.

There's quite a collection of hunnihawk fics on AO3 and I have gone through all of them because I don't have any self control. So yes I do have a few recs! You won't see any pwp fics in here, I'm the type who reads fanfiction for the plot lol so keep that in mind. These are in no particular order btw, and I'm sure my list will expand over time but for right now these are my top favourites.

I won't have comments for all fics and for that I apologize. Some of these are incredibly long and I don't have the time to re-read them and collect my thoughts. Whether there's a comment or not doesn't reflect the quality of the fic, only reflects the sieve like quality of my mind and how it cannot hold onto information for more than five minutes.

[This post got very long so I am including the recs under the cut]

HUNNICUTE'S HUNNIHAWK FIC RECS:

~~~

First off I am going to mention my absolute all time fav hunnihawk fic. Let me tell you, it took me by surprise because for mash fics I really don't enjoy mash aus as a concept (I think their relationships and personalities are really reliant on their circumstances) HOWEVER the film noir genre lends itself to mash very well. So I cannot recommend highly enough tallsinspace's hunnihawk noir au, if you don't read anything else on this list (tho please do!!!) you have to give this one a try:

over and over and over again (and the ending still will never change) by Talls [@tallsinspace]

Rating: M, Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Words: 28,380

The door opens to reveal a pair of the best legs you’ve ever seen in your life. The dame who comes attached is a treat as well, even with a silk scarf and big sunglasses obscuring her blonde hair and most of her face. She’s in a fashionable little black number that she fills out marvelously under a shorter winter coat, a string of pearls wrapped around her neck.

She looks like trouble. You smirk. Just your type.

“Welcome to Blake & Pierce investigations, how may I help you?” you greet in your most professional tone.

“First, you can pop those eyes back in their sockets, gumshoe,” she says flatly. “I didn’t come here to be leered at.”

In which Private Investigator Hawkeye Pierce gets in too deep with a couple of married blondes, runs up against some trouble, and makes a series of panic-fueled decisions. Story of his life.

I usually find it difficult to talk about exactly what I like about fics I read and recommend, however this one really lends itself to comment. Not only are the characters extremely well written, but the plot and situations are as well. This is the kind of story you find yourself paying attention to every word. Also this includes Hawk playing with gender, it works so well and feels incredibly true to character. Really well done.

Nostos; or, the Journey Home by Anonymous

Rating: M, Words: 65,903

The last place Hawkeye expects BJ's journey home to end is his own front steps

This one is special for me. Not only was it the first BJ goes to Maine fic I read, but the first MASH fic I actually read! Yeah it had had an impact, I couldn't read anything else for a day or two after because I remember I was thinking about it non-stop.

Your Love Made It Well Worth Waiting by msculper

Rating: T, Warnings: suicidal thoughts, Words: 13,217

"Maybe getting abandoned was like death: inevitable. Maybe knitting was like a machine gun, or mortar fire, or mustard gas: it only expedited the process."

An exploration of the sweater curse as told through Hawkeye's romantic relationships.

Will You Take Me As I Am? by msculper

Rating: T, Warnings: PTSD Words: 7,633

“Why the hell are you here?” The sudden hostility threw BJ off, although he supposed he should have been used to it. Hawkeye had a short fuse since his extended stay at the end of the war. BJ couldn’t help but laugh in shock. “Because I miss you and I’m worried about you?” “You know what Margaret does when she’s worried about me? She calls.”

lucky to be by kaiyen

Rating: none, Warnings: implied suicide attempt, Words: 39,296

Peg leaves BJ. Naturally, Hawkeye drops everything to fly 3000 miles and take up residence in his beach house.

“You okay?” he asks gently.

BJ nods. He’s more okay than he’s been in a long time. “I used to worry that if I were to see you again, it’d be like meeting a stranger.”

“Come on,” Hawkeye says, smiling. “We were never strangers.”

Bait and Switch by apollojusticeforall

Rating: G, Warnings: Discussion of PTSD, Words: 13,974

“We can make it a game, for old time’s sake. Tell me three things about yourself, but make one of them a lie.”

AKA a story told through storytelling, and how the truth is usually (but not always) easier to swallow if it tastes like a lie. Featuring M*A*S*H unit sleepover shenanigans, BJ goes to Maine, and BJ’s Complete Lies.

a notion deep inside by kaiyen

Rating: none, Words: 18,472

All of BJ’s letters sit in a draw in his desk. He reads them sometimes and remembers why he stopped writing back. They feel false, cheery in the way BJ used to write to Peg about the war. A story about a life Hawkeye has no place in.

Maybe he’s not doing such a good job of moving on.

or; two people meet at the wrong time and then re-meet at the right one

my guy pretty like a girl by Talls [@tallsinspace]

Rating: M, Words: 12,366

In which Hawkeye wears a dress for the glory of the 4077th and BJ reacts like any normal person would under the circumstances.

Okay so I do remember this one because I love the concept of Hawkeye playing with gender. I think he would look so stunning in a dress and any drag at all. But really my favourite part of this fic is BJ's reaction. Gotta love angsty moment's fuelled by our favourite repressee from California. Also if you couldn't tell, I'm very much in love with talls' writing.

mind field by Granspn [@calicogirlfriendsamba]

Ratings: M, Warnings: Period Typical Homophobia, Trauma, Words: 48,612

hawkeye is impossible, or so he’s been told.

Part character study, part experimental non-linear narrative, part a place for me to project and put all my unnecessarily specific headcanons in one place, today we’re taking a trip through hawkeye’s chaotic train of thought after being asked a simple question: “tell me about the bus.”

This one has a strong sense of melancholy to it, and I mean that in a very positive way. I found myself really sucked into Hawk's feelings when reading it. If you want something immersive and introspective, this one's for you.

last night, in tokyo by 4x01welcometokorea

Rating: T, Words: 21, 647

Hawkeye gets back from Korea in July, BJ shows up at his doorstep one night in November. In the time between, Hawkeye writes letters he doesn't send, he forgets a night in Tokyo he shouldn't remember, and he remembers he doesn't like Rice Krispies.

gibraltar may tumble by JustStandingHere

Rating: M, Words: 10,350

"Now the world seems open and full of unknown things. And so quickly, too. He feels like if he acts it'll be reckless. And it's very, very easy to be reckless around Hawkeye. The man practically invented the term for him when he escorted BJ around Korea in a stolen Jeep."

Lover, Where Can You Be? by fieryphrazes [@fieryphrazes]

Rating: E, Warnings: Period Typical Homophobia Words: 43, 540

“Do you think she’s alone?” He looked at me with his lips pressed in a thin line. He was studying me; I don’t know what he saw, but he must have liked it fine. “No,” he finally said. “I don’t think she’s alone.” “You’re a special kind of husband, if you mind as little as you seem to,” I observed, and he laughed, a sharp, brittle thing. “You have no idea what kind of husband I am,” he said, and disappeared behind the frosted glass of the office door. He was right: I didn’t have any idea. But I knew I wanted to find out.

When Peg Hunnicutt disappears without a trace, BJ is the prime suspect. He enlists hardboiled Hawkeye Pierce to track her down and clear his name, but how can Hawkeye be sure he's as innocent as he seems?

Yes, this is another noir AU, and it is very different from the last and just as incredibly well done. I especially love the way the relationship between Peg and BJ is portrayed here. And Erin <3 the way that both BJ and Hawkeye take care of her!! I just really love fics that pay attention and include BJ's love for his daughter and his goodness as a father.

someone is waiting by horaetio

Rating: M, Words: 16,628

“i’m right here, hawkeye.” it’s BJ. it could be no one else. MASH but make it sondheim; a hunnihawk fic.

You Can't Go Home Again by nimuetheseawitch

Rating: M, Words: 13,332

BJ has to learn how to find home again. He might actually have to admit that he has feelings.

I'm also going to be a little cheeky here and leave a link for my own hunnihawk fic here, I hope you don't mind but I'm a little proud of it :)

Driver by dammitspawk [@hunnicute]

Rating: T, Words: 1,832

BJ knows that he and Hawkeye are headed towards something that he has no control over. He can't decide if it's what's going to ruin his life or make it bearable, and he is terrified of the answer.

~~~

OKAY

So that was. More than a few... I hope you don't mind? I really wish I could have left a detailed comment for every single one of these but it's been quite a while since I've read most of them. These are all such talented people and I really hope you can take the time to enjoy the words of as many of them as you can.

I've included the tumblr urls of a couple of the authors, if any of you know the urls of more of these authors, please reply to this post or message me and I will add them as well :)

Happy Reading <3

#mash #fanfic #fanfic rec #hunnihawk #beejhawk #replies #anonymous #mine #wow so this may have taken hours to compile #because i cannot leave a list that is unformatted #and yeah i thought id saved like five mash fics #apparently not #m*a*s*h #fic rec

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bellaireland1981 · 4 years

Text

A Gentle Push

Pairings: Chris Evans x Female Reader

Warnings: None- just fluff

Word Count: 3,380

Summary- Your family and Chris’ have been friends forever, which mean you’d been best friends with Chris since childhood. Only problem is over the years you’ve fallen in love with your best friend, but are too scared to risk the friendship. Your families decide it’s time to intervene...

Part 1 of 3!

A/n- This is literally only the second story I’ve ever posted, so please be kind! HUGE thank you to @fluffymisha97 and @denisemarieangelina for reading through, giving me feedback and LOADS of encouragement!

Pictures found on Pinterest and compiled into a collage.

Reblogs are always welcome but I do not give permission to copy, translate or post my work anywhere.

You’ve been best friends with Chris, and a regular at the Evans’ household for as long as you could remember. You’d weathered your first heartbreaks together, spent endless hours at the local theater supporting each other in plays, went as each other’s date to dances so neither of you would feel like the oddball out, you’d been there for Chris when his parents had gotten divorced, and he’d been there for you when your dad passed away. You were each other’s rock, voice of reason, biggest cheerleader. You shared all of your secrets… well except one. There was a huge secret you’d managed to keep from Chris for a very long time. You were in love with your best friend.

Your families are currently planning a ski trip in the White Mountains in New Hampshire during everyone’s Christmas break. Chris had booked a block of rooms for everyone at the Omni Mount Washington Resort for the week between Christmas and New Year’s. You were definitely looking forward to seeing him and spending time with him, as those opportunities don’t come along very often lately, but when you spent extended amounts of time together it was hard to keep your feeling concealed. As it was you were pretty sure your family knew how you felt.

You knew that Scott had for sure figured out you were in love with his brother. He’d cornered you after his mom’s annual 4th of July cookout the previous year. Since then, he’d made it his mission to drop hints and to tease you mercilessly whenever you were all together. Thankfully, it had been a busy year for Chris with films so he was gone a lot.

“So, Flower, how are you going to survive a week of skiing, and being in close quarters with Chris and not let it slip that you’re in love with him?” Scott asked teasingly, as you were settling in for a movie night at your apartment.

“Well, Bambi,” You respond, rolling your eyes, “I’ve managed to keep it under wraps this long, so I’m pretty confident that I can continue to do so indefinitely.”

“That’s flawed thinking,” He replied, “It’s bound to come out and you know it. He’ll either figure it out, or you’ll slip up.”

“I think the odds are higher that you’ll be the one that spills the beans, Bambi.” You said laughing.

“You may not be wrong there!” He laughed, “I don’t understand why you just don’t tell him already though.”

“Because that would ruin a life long friendship and I can’t, Scott.” I said sadly, “I can’t lose him, and can you imagine how horribly uncomfortable it would be when our families were together?”

“It wouldn’t come to that, Flower.” He reassured you, “You’ve got to trust me!”

“Just promise you won’t push it this week, Bambi.” You begged, “It’s been so long since I’ve been able to hang out with Chris and just have fun, I don’t want it to be ruined.”

“I promise” He replied hugging you, “It’ll all be great. You’ll see!”

___________________________________________________________

“Merry Christmas, Sweetheart!” Lisa said, wrapping you in a hug as you stood on her porch.

“Merry Christmas!” You reply hugging her back. “Sorry I’m late, I was finishing a batch of cookies for the boys for the trip.”

“You’re fine! Come in where it’s warm.” She ushered you into the house that had been your second home growing up. “Everyone is in the family room plotting for the week ahead!”

You made your way to the family room where Scott and Chris were on the couch discussing (or arguing rather) who the better skier was. Dodger was laid out on the floor at Chris’ feet but jumps up when he sees you, excitedly coming over to you for attention. You bend down and drop a kiss on his head, giving him pats, and calling for him to come over to the couch with you. You decide to plop down onto the couch in between Chris and Scott, allowing Dodger to jump up next to you. Due to lack of space, he was sprawled half on you, with his butt resting on Chris’ lap.

“Merry Christmas, Flower!” Scott said laughing at you inserting yourself on the couch, “Settle this for us! Tell Chris I’m the better skier!”

“Umm, Bambi, as much as I’d love to help you out here, there’s a reason I call you ‘Bambi’ and it isn’t just because you’re cute.” you reply laughing. The first time you’d all gone ice skating together as kids, Scott had ended up sprawled out on the ice, much like Bambi had in the movie. He just wasn’t always the most graceful. It was part of his charm. “It pains me to say it, but Christopher Robin is the better skier.”

“Wow, I see how it is!” Scott pouted, “Come on, Dodge, let’s go find people who will appreciate us!” He got up and called for Dodger, winking at me on his way by.

“Merry Christmas, Dove,” Chris said, scooting over to you and engulfing you in a tight hug. He really did give the best hugs. “I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you too,” You said hugging him back, “Merry Christmas!” Chris kept his arm around you, hugging you to his side as you sat on the couch. This was pretty much the norm for you both.

“How’s the school year going for you, Dove?” he asked

“It’s going OK.” You respond, slightly distracted by being so close to him. “Definitely need these two weeks to regroup.”

“Carly and Shanna said the same thing” He laughed, “I don’t know how you all do it.”

“The good outweighs the bad for sure. I love my students and wouldn’t trade them for the world.” You reply.

“Well I’m glad I get to spend the next week with you!” He said excitedly, “I’m planning on being very selfish and keeping you to myself as much as possible. Fair warning.”

Butterflies erupt in your stomach at his words. You didn’t mind spending as much time with him as possible, and the fact that he wanted to just have time with you was exciting, but it was definitely harder to contain your feelings when it was just the two of you. You thought about asking Scott to run interference but that was a recipe for disaster, and you really did want to spend as much time with him as you could.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in chaos, as were most get-togethers with your family and the Evans clan. You’d all eaten dinner, played several games, and had even snuck a movie in before the kids were carted off to their beds.

You were helping Lisa in the kitchen with getting food put up and dishes washed, when she looked over at you, giving you the familiar “mom look”... similar to the one you always got from your own mom.

“Are you planning on ever telling him how you feel?” she asked, gently prying.

You stop wiping the pan and look up at her alarmed.

“Tell who how I feel?” you ask, panicked, how did she know? Had Scott told her? You make a mental note to kick him.

“Sweetheart, you wear that heart of yours on your sleeve.” She laughed, “Anyone with eyes and sense can see you’re in love with Chris.”

You look around to make sure nobody else is around or listening in. Thankfully, Chris had taken Dodger for a quick walk so you knew he wasn’t in ear shot.

“Umm, of course I love him, he’s my best friend.” You say trying to hedge. You should have known better that Lisa wasn’t having any of that. And of course Scott picked that exact moment to come into the kitchen.

“Flower, we all know you don’t just love him as your best friend. She’s IN love with him mom.” He said, ever so helpfully. The mental note to kick him just got upgraded to pushing him down the mountain.

“Scott, leave her alone.” Lisa chided him, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how much joy you take in tormenting the poor girl whenever they’re together.”

“I prefer to think of it as nudging her in the right direction.” He responds laughing, “I’m cupid!”

“You’re a menace” You reply, glaring at him, then turning your attention to Lisa. “Ok yes, he’s right, but I’m not about to ruin a lifelong friendship with the best person I know because I caught feelings.”

“Oh, Sweet girl, I promise you you’re not going to ruin your friendship.” Lisa reassured you, “Trust me.”

“I’ve been telling her that for a year, Ma!” Scott pointed out. “Seriously, Flower, you trust us right?”

“Of course I trust you both,” you replied, “But I can’t risk it. The price is just too high.”

“What price is too high?” Chis asked, having impeccable timing just like his brother.

“Flower has had her eye on something extra special from Santa, but apparently he’s an idiot.” Scott said, popping a cookie in his mouth and making a hasty exit from the kitchen, oblivious to the look of death you were shooting his way.

“What’s caught your eye, Dove?” Chris asked, thankfully missing the cue Scott had dropped. “Santa may be an idiot, but you’ve got a totally amazing best friend that isn’t.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that” You hear Lisa whisper to herself, shaking her head. You glance over to see if Chris had heard his mom, but he was snatching a cookie from the tray and looking at you.

“It’s not a big deal, really.” you replied, “I have to finish packing before we leave tomorrow morning, so I’m going to head out now.”

Lisa stepped around the kitchen island and wrapped you in a hug, “It’ll all be ok, Love” she whispered, “Have faith in him.”

“It’s still early though,” Chris whined, giving you a puppy look, “And I haven’t been able to spend any time with you lately!”

“We’ll have an entire week together,” You reasoned with him, “But if you want to leave early, I have to finish packing and sleep.”

“OK, then how about I come help you pack and then we can watch a movie and you can fall asleep like you always do!” He suggested, looking at you with a hopeful gaze. You really did want to spend as much time as possible with him since it wasn’t often you got the chance lately.

“You’d be doing me a huge favor, Sweetheart” Lisa winked at you, “Take this one off my hands for the night!”

“Ok, it’s not like he doesn’t have his own home to go to,” You laugh, “But, fine, I’ll take him.”

“YES!” Chris exclaims high fiving you, “Let me grab Dodge and I’m ready!” He ran out of the room to collect Dodger and you turned to Lisa shaking your head.

“Why do I always end up giving into him?” You asked, baffled.

“Do you really want me to answer that?” She asked, smiling gently at you. “Relax and just enjoy the time with him… everything always has a way of working out.”

“READY!” Chris yelled, excitedly coming into the room again with Dodger and our coats in tow. “Let’s get you packed, Dove!”

“You gonna follow me to my apartment?” I asked, taking my coat. “Or do you just want to ride with me?”

“I’ll follow you to your apartment, you can pack, and then we’ll take my car to my house because I have to finish packing too.” Chris admitted, flashing his boyish smile at you. “Besides, I have a better TV to watch movies on.”

“You seriously haven’t packed yet either?” I laughed, “And have you even met me? I’ll literally be sleeping within the first 15 minutes of the movie.”

“Even more reason to watch it at my house, it’ll be more comfy when you crash out!”

Chris ushers you out of the house towards your cars after saying goodbye to everyone. Once at your apartment, Chris and Dodger hang out on your bed while you throw your clothes and toiletries into your suitcase. You make a mental tally of everything, making sure you don’t forget anything.

“Bring a dress for New Years” Chris said, “We’re going to go out to dinner and then I organized a small party for our families and the gang’s all drivin’ up to join us.”

“Umm, Christopher, that is not something you throw at me last minute!” I complained, glaring at him, “How fancy is this party? Ugh! I’m going to have to go shopping now.”

“Relax, Dove” He laughed, “It’s not overly fancy, you’ve got a ton of dresses in your closest and you’ll look absolutely beautiful in any of them. You should grab the short, black one you wore to the Infinity War premiere…the lacy, sparkly one with only one sleeve, you looked amazing in that.”

“This one?” You asked, pulling what you believe was the dress he was referring to, but needing clarification from his description.

“Yes!” He exclaimed with a big grin, “I really liked that on you.”

“Thank you” You said, feeling your face heat up, “It’s definitely one of my favorites, but Chris, this is a formal dress, will it be OK for the dinner and party?”

“It’s perfect, Dove” he promised, “All eyes will definitely be on you that night.”

“I doubt that” You laughed, carefully placing the dress in a garment bag to prevent it from wrinkling.

“Ok, let’s grab your gear from your trunk and head to my house. You can help me pick out my New Year’s outfit while I throw all my other clothes into the suitcase and then we can watch a movie...or I can watch a movie and you can sleep.”

Once you got back to Chris’ house, you went inside and Chris got Dodger settled with food and fresh water before you both made your way to his room so he could pack. You plopped down on his bed, making yourself comfy while he drags out a suitcase and starts putting various clothing items in.

“While you finish packing, I’m going to go change and grab some snacks and drinks for the movie.” You said, needing a distraction. “And since all of my stuff is still in your car, I’m stealing one of your t-shirts and a pair of your pajama pants to sleep in.”

“Ok, but I want them back this time, Dove” He teased, “I’ve lost have of my wardrobe to you ‘borrowing’ stuff.”

“I make no promises.” You sassed back, rummaging through his drawer to find a shirt and pajama pants. In truth you’d only actually commandeered a few shirts over the years, he was definitely exaggerating.

You settled on one of his Patriots t-shirts and a pair of blue plaid cotton pants with a drawstring so you could adjust them to fit. You changed in the bathroom before heading to the kitchen for popcorn and drinks.

You’d just finished popping the popcorn, removing it from the microwave when Chris grabbed you from behind and yelled your name, causing you to jump about a mile in the air. Thankfully you’d already set the popcorn down.

“CHRISTOPHER!” You yelled, placing your hand over your racing heart, “You SUCK!”

You doubted he had heard you though, because he was laughing hysterically, a hand over his left pec. He was practically sprawled out on the floor. It was your own fault really. Thirty-five years of friendship, you should know to just expect these jump scares.

“I’m sorry” He gasped, trying to calm down, “I couldn’t resist!”

“You’re not sorry, Punk!” I replied, attempting to glare at him. It was impossible to stay upset with him, even when just faking it, his personality and the boyish looks he gave you always ended up melting your heart.

“I am! I promise, I won’t do it anymore.” He said, as got up off the floor. “At least not anymore tonight?”

“You better not have been recording that or post it to social media!” you said, “Don’t forget that I’ve got a LOT of pictures and videos of you over the years, mister!”

“Fair point” He acknowledged, “I promise, I won’t post it to social media.”

“Grab the popcorn and let’s go watch that movie.” You instructed him, grabbing the drinks.

“OK, but let’s go watch it one in my room, that way when you fall asleep you’re already somewhere comfy.” He suggested.

He grabs the popcorn bowl and you grab the drinks and you both head back towards his room. Chris calls for Dodger to follow. Once in the room you quickly staked your claim on the side of the bed closest to the windows and French doors, making yourself comfy with pillows propping you up. Dodger jumped on the bed and tried to settle next to you, but Chris was quicker and poor Dodger was forced to lay at the foot of the bed.

“Poor Dodge,” You said, pouting, “Did your mean Daddy banish you to the end of the bed?”

Chris laughed, throwing a pillow at you, “Mean, my ass! He’s the most spoiled dog ever!”

“And who’s fault is that, Christopher Robin?” You sassed.

“I believe you had a huge role in that spoiling” He replied, “What do you want to watch?”

“I can’t deny my role in that, but he’s the best boy ever!” You said, leaning over to scratch Dodger’s ears, “And whatever you want to watch is fine.”

“Ok, well it’s Christmas so we have to watch a Christmas movie…” He started flipping through what was available to stream, and after a minute settled on White Christmas.

“How many times did you watch this already this year?” he asked, knowing it was among your favorites.

“This will make four” you replied. “But if you count the times I fell asleep when I started it, it’s the 7th time”

He laughed, then laid back, crossing his ankles and tucking his left arm under his head. “Well come here and snuggle in then so you can go to sleep.” He extended right arm out for me to use as a pillow, pulling me into his warmth. Even with the butterflies erupting in my stomach being this close to him, his body heat and the comfort of his arms immediately relaxed me.

“I might actually make it through the movie…” You said in mock indignation. “Might be a Christmas miracle!”

“You say that, but already you can barely keep your eyes open, Dove.” He reasoned, smiling down at you.

“I can’t help it that you’re so comfy.” You yawned and your eyes drifted shut “And it was a very busy day.”

The opening scene started to play but your breathing had already evened out in sleep.

“Barely made it past the opening credits and you’re already passed out, Dove” Chris whispered, “Sweet Dreams.” He carefully shifted so he angled more towards you and leaned over to place a gentle kiss on your head. “I love you.”

(Part 2 will post TOMORROW!)

#Chris Evans Fiction Chris Evans Chris Evans x Reader

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cosmiccandydreamer · 4 years

Text

Stability Chapter 4

Otis driftwood x Reader

(I do not own these gifs)

Authors note:~ Quick reminder please be aware of any triggers that may make you uncomfortable when proceeding with the story, which is not limited to hateful terminology (I tried to be as accurate as possible with the dialogue in the movie), mentions of non-con, sexual situations, and violence.~

Saying Baby and Otis enjoyed having hostages would be an understatement, the stress of everything that happened in the last 24 hours took a toll on them, and these poor folks were just the people to help take out some of that stress. “Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these” Baby sang and danced around the motel room to the forced audience, while her brother sat in the chair across from the group pointing a gun at them. Roy tried to avert his eyes from Baby’s dancing and cower with his wife, but it was slightly difficult with her pushing her tits right in his face.

Otis took this opportunity to further provoke the man. “Hoss, are you staring at my sister thinking bad thoughts?” he asked him, pointing the gun at the four of them. “No,” he replied with a shake in his voice. " Well, why not? are you a faggot?” Otis asked him looking at him slightly sideways "No” said Roy, "Well, what are ya then? I mean you got this hot, piece of ass shaking her shit right in front of you and you're not getting any ideas. What do you call that?" "I'm a married man,” he replied. "Wow!” Baby yelled, waving her hands in the air, “a married man!" "Well, shit” Otis exclaimed “I'm married too! look at us, that's just great! Let's give him a big round of applause, folks for the married man! come on! Oh, man ain't married life just great? You should see my wife Hoss she's got the best part of tits on her whew shit".

Otis looked down at the gun in his hand after that last comment, the hand that had the matching scar that you had on your left hand. He slowly used his thumb to caress the lifted scar tissue. Fuck he missed you, no he ached for you. He trusted you and knew that you could take care of yourself, but the idea that he didn't know where you were and when he was going to find you.. that didn't sit well with him. God, he missed the smell of your hair when he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you close. His large hands gripping your locks as he pressed y/h/c into his nose. The little laughs you would do when he startled you and grabbed you from behind. He took those moments for granted, he knows that now and he regrets it. He thought back to the last night you spent together before you all had to flee. You had helped picked that nights victim earlier that day, you had been at work when a group of young men had entered the gas station, they looked like a group of tourists just passing through,

“Hey waitress why don’t you make yourself useful and go see what’s taking my fucking chicken?” one of them snapped at you while picking up random items and putting them down. “ I’m not your waitress but I can go see what’s taking so long for you,” you replied through gritted teeth, “ thanks sweet cheeks,” he said as he slapped your ass when you walked by. Well needless to say Otis was not happy when he heard that occurred, you had taken down the license plate before they took off and gave it to him as soon as you got in the truck. After heading home and grabbing Rufus, the boys searched the nearest motel for the make and plates of the car. When they found them they kidnapped them and dragged them back to the house. It was a bloodbath, you and the rest of the family took no mercy on the boys, tearing them apart all night.

Eventually, it ended up just being you two in the basement, Baby had long gone upstairs to play dress-up with one of the boys. Otis held the victim that had slapped you on the ass while you stabbed him over and over again, right in the side of the neck then the chest, and later under the armpit, while this occurred Otis screamed words of encouragement to you hyping you up during this assault. By the end you both were a bloody heaving mess, your heart was fluttering like a hummingbird, blood was splattered all over the both of you. You turned to him with your chest heaving heavily, “Otis” you painted still holding the knife, you let it fall to the ground with a clang “ yeah sugar” he walks over to you and grabs your face with his blood-soaked hands lifting your face to look at him, running his finger over your lips, mixing the red lipstick on your lips with the red on his hands, “what do you want from your almighty devil”?.

Seeing the look in his eyes you knew that the devil that lived in him was front and center, this didn’t scare you though, oh no quite the opposite. You closed your eyes for a second, before opening them and looking him straight in his ” you’re the almighty devil, and I want you to make me your fucking whore” with that last sentence you took his blood-soaked thumb into your mouth and sucked on it before letting it out with a pop. He sucked in air sharply before grabbing the back of your neck and shoving you down toward the floor “ on your knees like my good whore”. You happily obliged, kneeling in front of him you took his large member in your blood-soaked hand and inserted it into your mouth. Never breaking eye contact you bobbed your head up and down until you milked every single drop from him. Grabbing your hair he turned your head upward at him, you smiled with your face a mixture of blood and semen, “ such a beautiful good whore”.

“You said you’re married?” This question came from Adam still cowering behind the ladies and Roy on the bed. This question snapped him out of his fond memory and forced him to look toward them. “ Yeah I did, why is that shocking? are you saying that an ugly fuck like me couldn't score a hot piece of ass like my wife?” “no no no that’s not it” “ Then what is it hm? You got something to say to me?, Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin' Mark Twain shit, 'cause it's gettin' chiseled on your tombstone.” “ I just .. does your wife know you do things like this?” asked Roy, raising his voice a little, Gloria gasped and lightly gripped his arm, shushing him.

"Woooo man! getting a little bold there Roy! Such a big brave man all of a sudden, showing off in front of the misses there hm?" Otis said, pointing the gun at Gloria, he got quiet for a second after that, lowering the gun and thinking to himself "All right. okay, mama, front and center, on your feet.". Gloria and Roy looked back at each other confused. "okay, come on, Mama. Take that shit off, let's see what's been holding Hoss's balls at attention all these years" "what … " Gloria asked looking back at Roy then at Otis," What? Take off your clothes, or one of these assholes is going to die. Come on, come on". Gloria stands and shakily takes off her top and pants leaving her in her underwear, "shit, way to go, Roy! she ain't too bad. She got a tight little ass on her!" Baby exclaimed.

Otis grabbed Gloria bringing her to him, why did Roy get to enjoy his wife while he couldn't? Naw fuck that, fuck Roy, fuck the world for taking you away. "Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me" Gloria begged as Otis pulled her real close in running the gun all up and down her leg and stomach "you like this, don't ya? Say "Yes, I do. " You like that, don't ya? Say "Yes, I do. " Yes, I do. Yes, I do". Gloria tried to look at the ground but Otis pointed the gun at her temple warning her to start compiling "Yes, I... I do".

"You like they don't ya? Hmm huh, mamas" *grunts* "yes yes I do" you moaned as Otis grabbed both your breasts and squeezed them as hard as he could. The messy blow job was just the beginning, after you smiled at him with your sinfully filled mouth he had scooped you up and pressed you up against the nearest wall. You moaned again as he pounded into you and bit your teeth into his shoulder earning a deep pornographic growl from him and causing Otis to thrust into you even harder and faster. "Give me some sugar mama, oh yeah make it sweet" he whispered onto your lips before roughly kissing you, you opened your mouth wider to deepen the kiss and he took this opportunity to shove his tongue inside your mouth. You pulled back to gasp for air after the intrusion on your mouth and before you had a chance to catch your breath, you kissed him again but this time it was soft and gentle, he pushed into you slower now and less violently. He lazily nipped your bottom lip, pulling it back some, he rested his forehead on yours and stared into your eyes as he finished with a few final thrusts.

"Okay. Okay, now. Give me some sugar. Make it sweet. Don't want me to tense up my trigger finger. My finger's getting tense... I want you to say, "You're the almighty devil, and I want you to make me your fucking whore. " Come on, say it. I know it. I know you're feeling it. Say it.". Otis at this point had forced Gloria into a kneeling position after violating her with the pistol. The whole scene was a vile obscene site, he suddenly grabbed her again roughly pulling her up towards him, " fucking … say it" "You're... the... almighty... devil and I want you... to make me your... fucking whore" she splattered barely getting the words out. Otis laughed and shoved her back toward the bed " you fucking make me sick". This site causes Baby to bust out laughing "Woo-hoo! I feel like we're all getting to know each other now". " All right, ladies" her brother exclaims, "I and the boys have an errand to run. We'll be back in a little while. Come on, Hoss, move it. Come on, shit stain! Gotta go! Come on! God damn it!".

#otis driftwood #house of 1000 corpses #three from hell #otis driftwood x reader #otis firefly #thedevilsrejects #the devils rejects

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ohnobjyx · 4 years

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To the snowy summit side by side

红尘中毁誉得失如何去量?

Part 7: And now... what?

This is a post long overdue. I must admit, this is the most difficult one, so I was putting it off, reading again and again what I had already written and browsing through the internet to try and get the most complete picture.

Disclaimer: in this case, almost all of the post is my personal opinion (I tried to keep the previous post objective). I’m biased because of the XZ friendly content I’m usually exposed to and by my own views of their situation. Open to discussion, but please make sure you’ve enough information to do so.

Let’s go back to anon’s original ask:

Hello could you give us an update on xz's situation? I know we*bo and his studio has taken some steps recently but how has this affected public opinion on xz? Has it improved/ are more people favoring him or has it gotten worse?

I think I have been answering your first question in the past posts. However, about the next two:

When I was compiling information and writing the previous posts, a song kept coming back again and again to my head, specifically, this part of the lyrics:

红尘中毁誉得失如何去量?

In the mortal world, how can praise or condemnation, success and failure be measured?

(Yes, it’s from WuJi-无羁)

Innocence

What happened to XZ was a combination of incredibly bad luck, strenuous social circumstances (the pandemic), high stress in the public and a set of underlying issues that had been festering for a long time.

From being a celebrity on the way up, he suddenly became a scapegoat for a conflict he hadn’t caused and the receiver of a lot of senseless hate. He didn’t do anything from start to finish in the 2/27, but ended up the most affected from it, as the consequences reverberated all the way from March to July.

Because XZ didn’t ask the author to write such a fanfic. He didn’t request for it to be taken down. He didn’t ask his fans to report anything. And he didn’t have anything to do with ao3 being banned in the country as a response. From start to finish, he didn’t participate in any of it.

Many of the analysis I’ve watched/read determine that the cause of the problem were his fans. One of the bloggers even said that “his fans are the ones that have hindered his career the most”.

But, from my point of view, the saying of “two people can’t have an argument if one of them doesn’t want to” also applies here. From start to finish, the issue was filled with overreactions and exaggerated responses from both XZ’s fans and the rest of the people that engaged in this ridiculous fan war with them.

However, let’s keep in mind that “XZ’s fans” is also a huge generalization. Most of the people don’t have the necessary time, resources and mental energy to engage in ridiculous crusades in the name of their favoured celebrity.

Part of the reasoning of the anti-XZ faction is that he should have taken measures and steps to make sure that his fans didn’t cross the line. However, even if the people leading all of this are only a small % of his fans, they are still a lot of people. Being the receiver of their fans’ love and admiration doesn’t make him and his team able to discern who is a reasonable, sensible fan, and who is a crazed troublemaker. And being famous and admired shouldn’t make him the responsible of all of his fans actions (in my opinion). I think this is also how Western society would view the situation.

I was surprised to discover that c-society did expect him to “guide” his fans, because he has a huge influence on them and he’s supposed to guide them towards more civilized behaviour. It’s not of course what everyone thinks, but the stance his studio has taken also points in recognizing that they should have done that (there are more reasons to their stance, of course, explained in the part 5+6).

However, people did realize (I think) that most of the people that follows him gives him support silently. There are of course ardent and fervent people who jump to defend him, but even that kind of behaviour is discouraged by XZ’s studio (applying that ignoring the antis is the greatest way to defeat them).

So here it came the lyrics from WuJi. It’s true that a fraction of his fans have caused him a lot of trouble. But this kind of fans (there is a fine line between very invested and obsessed) are also the ones who push forward a lot of events, who create things like “XZ’s fans Association” and who promote his works the most. His studio did call them out in the end, and said that everyone should relax in their support, but it’s also true that this fans also had a great hand in pushing him to the top of the charts. There’s a very fine line between gain and loss here, so how can one measure the value?

(But the antis who disguise as his fans and create trouble just for the sake of ruining his reputation are a whole other issue. No excuses for them).

Finally, the answers

To answer (I know we*bo and his studio has taken some steps recently but how has this affected public opinion on xz? Has it improved/ are more people favoring him or has it gotten worse?) more exactly:

When we are talking about public opinion, it can actually be divided into 3 factions: his fans, the antis, and the actual general public who is neutral by default.

1. His fans stayed the same, supporting him through the storm. The opinion of the fans isn’t so easily swayed (though he has lost some in this process, he has also gained new followers), and the main feeling they have towards him now can be summarized in 心疼 (”xin teng”, a feeling that, in this case, can be described as “I’m really sorry that all of this has happened to you because I know that you were innocent in this”). I’ll explain a little bit more about his fans support in the last part of the post.

2. The antis can also be divided into 2 groups: “regular” antis and “professional” antis. The 2/27 Great Union community still exists, but it’s a closed off community and to enter it, the new member has to be approved by a moderator. I’ve seen public comments with the 2/27 Great Union tag, that after his interviews have morphed into “I’m a commoner and I hate XZ”, but they are a lot less active these days. Even if they still have hate after everything that happened, the average anti has gone back to their usual life after quarantine was lifted, so it’s less active.

Some of the “regular” antis will stay active, but that’s to be expected. For example, some of WYB’s solo fans were all exploding over the new vlog XZ’s Studio updated three days ago. While it’s ridiculous for the rest of us, these people will continue their “XZ is using WYB to further his own fame” campaign.

However, it’s different with the “professional” anti. As we said in previous posts, people like “B” has a lot of time, energy and resources to invest in a smear campaign against XZ. Where does all of that come from? I don’t know. What I do know is that once XZ’s topic cools down enough and another scandal of another idol, no matter how small, appears, they’ll shift to hate content about the other idol. What matters to them is to produce content that people will engage with, so they get more views and followers, and profit with it.

3. And now, the “neutral-by-default general public”. There is a problem in how we, as netizens, manage the information. In the previous post, I talked about a hater who had written an assessment because “XZ’s fans” had insulted her parents. While the main objective of the document wasn’t to see how the general public views him, I took the data she had extracted.

The general public isn’t so neutral anymore. While it’s true that XZ keeps gaining fans (he’s still riding on CQL’s success train), what general public, the average passerby, has heard from him is:

A XZ fan has stolen a deceased person’s account to keep promoting him

“XZ’s fans” attack a user’s parents on Father’s Day.

A primary school teacher promotes her favourite idol in her class.

These are bound to create a bad image and reputation in people’s mind. We know (I explained all of those incidents in previous posts) that only the teacher incident was truly caused by a XZ fan. There’s no proof that the person who insulted that user’s parents was a XZ fan, and w/ibo has proved that the “stolen” account incident was a scheme from start to finish.

However, the headache in all of those incidents is that the initial issue (“a XZ fan stole a deceased person account to continue to promote him!”) is announced widely and loudly, attracting people’s attention to it. However, people won’t dig up more information. Less than half will actually read the article or investigate more about it. W/ibo actually investigating it and discovering that it was all a plot to frame XZ isn’t given importance, nor does it go on the hot search chart. People only know what happened at first, but don’t know how the story ended. And this is a huge problem for him, because people accuse him but don’t care to know if he was actually the culprit.

(Wow, just like WWX in CQL).

So I found this to describe it.

There are still neutral people: those who couldn’t care less about the tabloids, and that never read gossip sites. These are still a great part of the general public. Anon was asking about the public opinion: the fact is that previously neutral people have only heared bad things about him for half a year, so that’s bound to affect their image of someone they’re not invested in.

If XZ were defeated, and retired, I’m sure a lot of articles like “framing the innocent” would appear. We people just like to have something to talk about.

His fans’ support

XZ ended 2019 with his followers on w/ibo numbering on 21,690,000. The exact number of his w/ibo followers right now is 26,458,877 (26,459,350 two hours later, by the time I’m editing this to post it). He continues to be liked by more people, and antis may try to reduce his popularity, but it’s a fact that his talent and effort are appreciated by people with no hidden agenda.

XZ is also slowly coming back to work and to his endorsements, which are very good news. We saw him recently in the R/SEONLY add for Chinese Qixi, in the event for Cao Yu’s anniversary, the vlog the studio updated.

Less directly, Kai Xiao Zao, one of the brands that didn’t stop working with him even after 2/27 (they are a smaller brand, and they must have invested a lot in their endorser, so they can’t just put him aside like other bigger brands did), recently put up little stands in malls all over China to promote their new product. In every stand there was a wall for customers to write and a couple of XZ cardboard cutouts.

In his interview in Yunnan, XZ had been seen wearing his red cord bracelet, to ward off bad luck. So fans started to add their own amulets to ward off bad luck and offerings to the cutouts.

They started off like this...

Fans came...

And they ended up like this. The funny fact it’s that people started to add plush toys, hats and even food to the cutouts, so based on what “XZ” is wearing one can guess where was the photo taken.

This was a widespread phenomenon in all of KXZ stands. So to say that XZ has lost support from his fans would be certainly false.

His dramas are also expected to be aired soon and have been confirmed to. His patience is paying off little by little, and he’s coming back to work.

The moral of the story

I hope we can all learn something from this. If anything, it has changed my own attitude on the Internet. I used to be very quick to answer with extreme words if I felt strongly about a topic. Now I try to tone down my responses. I’m not saying that you’d all do the same, but it’s a lesson I extract from other people’s experiences. History should serve to avoid mistakes others have committed as much as possible.

In the technology and communications based world we live in, to believe that what we do on Internet doesn’t affect real people’s everyday lives is a huge lie. So, now that we can see that XZ is slowly coming back, let’s all remember that this once happened: let’s all be kind on the internet and avoid engaging with people who dedicate themselves to spread hate.

It has been hard on him. But he’s going to top the snowy summit. Let’s do our best to support him rationally.

Prev: Part 5 and 6: A snowy summit

#gg's situation #part 7 out of 7 #finally finished #my post #ask

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hecallsmehischild · 3 years

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Recent Media Consumed

Books

A Knot in the Grain and Other Stories by Robin McKinley. Not bad for a fantasy short story compilation, but as I read the stories I felt like too many questions went unanswered, or the answer wasn’t clear enough. I know there’s an art to not answering questions and making that intentional, but I didn’t pick up the feeling of the author being intentionally vague. It was still fun to read. I’m really just in a fantasy binge mode.

Fire and Water by Robin McKinley and Peter Dickinson. Both books are collections of short stories based on elemental spirits. Eh…. they were okay. Didn’t like them as much as the others.

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Hard book to get through. There’s so much monologuing and it doesn’t all make sense to me. People seem to be talking trite nonsense half the time and then being unbearably deep the other half. It is an interesting look at morbid aspects of the human heart. Might be that it’s a bit over my head to appreciate fully, but I’d like to read at least one more by this author. Maybe The Brothers Karamazov.

Movies

Hello Dolly. (mini liveblogging of reactions) There are way too many musicals I have not gotten around to seeing, simply because I have old favorites and sometimes it’s hard to get out of a rut. I am two minutes and four seconds in and CLEARLY not watching this before now was a failure on my part. I am in awe of the opening sequence that is just a series of legs and feet, but they are all moving to the music and they tell a dozen different stories that are very easy to understand even without seeing anybody’s top half, this is EXCELLENT framing and shooting and I feel like I’m in for a real treat. (In the middle of “It takes a woman”) I cannot tell you how much I missed over the top satire. This very much has the feel of My Fair Lady’s “With A Little Bit of Luck”. But then it’s taken up by the protagonist with an entirely different tone and WHAM the feels hit. I’m not enjoying all of the musical numbers, but there’s this one bit in the middle of the song about dancing where Dolly accepts a dance invitation from the grizzled old groundskeeper, and seeing this high-class looking widow take his invitation without a shred of irony, and to see him take her dancing in such a way that shows he’s clearly done this for many years and may be a widower himself, it’s just this strange sweet kind of moment that’s meant to be savored. And then again WHAM this high class widow, whenever she has a musical number in private, just NAILS you with her song and performance and all her emotions. Barbara Streisand was incredible, absolutely incredible. A lot of the other characters don’t really feel real, they feel like Musical People. She slips on the clothes of a Musical Person but then she drops the facade and shows you how hard all this is for her and it’s incredible. The movie is worth it just to watch HER. Even if it is very stressful watching her manipulate conversations and move people around like pawns. I have to say I do not, for the life of me, understand why she wants a relationship with Mr. Horace Vandergelder, or why he agrees. They look like they’ll make each other miserable for life.

Honest Thief. I went in with low “dumb robbery movie” expectations and was pleasantly surprised. I think I was most surprised by the fantastic chemistry of the couple and pretty much everyone’s acting. Aside from the acting it wasn’t anything remarkable, but everyone took it up to the next level. Nice flick. Also it tickles me to hear the voice of Aslan talking about how he carried out perfect robberies.

Nezha. Holy. Cow. Okay it doesn’t make total sense to me, not all the way through, but I chalk that up to missing cultural/lit knowledge and translation issues. Setting that aside, animation was gorgeous. Story was fun, but also compelling. There was some gross-out humor, but I’ve seen worse. And the climactic fight scene? Man. It went SO LONG but I didn’t even care. Some fight scenes drag on, but this one could have been twice as long and I would have been fine with that. The creators of this film really went all out with creativity and variety all throughout the film. I don’t totally understand the ending but I would love to see more (as the credits scenes hinted that there might be more). Oh wait, there is more and it’s called Jiang Ziya…

The Mitchells vs The Machines. This movie was so full of heart and also so full of complete over the top dumb goofiness. It kind of reminded me of Despicable Me in that way. Definitely brought a smile to my face.

Shows

Star vs the Forces of Evil. I had to re-watch through Eclipsa’s and Meteora’s arc because I’d seen that much before, but too long ago to remember. I re-watched it, then settled in for the last season which I hadn’t seen before. Watching through the new content and… I’m… disappointed. Story seems to be all over the place. The conflict is so forced it hurts. People are flatter than flat. And they’re all idiots. I feel like the show is trying to reach for a moral and don’t even know what that is from episode to episode. Wow. And as I go into the final arc, it just gets worse. Ham-fisted with zero focus and twists out of the bloody blue that make zero sense. You know… this series was hard to get into because characters were annoying and gross at the start. But then it added depth to each character and made me care about them as it went along. But everything after Eclipsa became queen has flushed all of that down the toilet as fast as possible and it is maddening to see that story-trust wasted. Nothing means anything in this story, that’s the conclusion I end up coming to. Nothing means anything and there is nobody worth caring about. I am radically disappointed. And kind of angry at the sheer number of levels at which the storytelling became terrible.

Games

Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening. I wasn’t sure how I’d handle another controller-based game after getting so accustomed to Breath of the Wild (I’m on a second re-play of that, I play it whenever my brain is on the fritz so badly that I can’t do anything else). But it turned out to be pretty easy to get into. The hardest part is getting stuck about how to solve certain puzzles and trying to figure it out over and over. Sometimes I figure it out, but sometimes I need to look up a hint online. I’m almost at the end of the game and I’ve enjoyed it quite a bit. I want to play more Zelda games...

Katamari Re-Roll. This is so stupid. I mean, SO VERY STUPID. And so much fun. You start off as this tiny little person just rolling a ball around and you can pick up anything smaller than you (thumbtacks, coins, caramel candies) and as your ball gets bigger, your options open up (mice, carrots, eggs, crabs) and open up (shoes, toys, cats, dogs) and open up (humans, food carts, cows). I hear you get to roll up houses at some point. I’m looking forward to that. For now I’m at the level where I’m rolling up a lot of people. They’re all wiggly and shrieky. It’s funny. There’s a time limit on each level, and you have to reach a certain size by the time limit, which is the only really annoying thing about it. But I’m still having a lot of fun.

World of Warcraft: Classic. Of all the games I never thought I’d play, this is probably toward the top of the list. I don’t like the concept of grinding. I like story. But after playing Breath of the Wild, I also found out that I love exploration/open world type games. My husband helped me build a character and we ran around doing quests and levelling up. Now I’m a level 17 Dwarf hunter who does skinning and leatherworking. I have a pet wolf named Chompers. I’m having a lot of fun. Probably not obsessive levels of fun, but enough fun that I’m happy to sink a couple several-hour sessions a week into playing.

#Child loves books #child loves movies #child loves shows #n00b gamer child #recent media consumed

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nightingiall · 4 years

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quarantine fic rec in honor of 1daaw

hi, friends!

it’s been so long since i actually sat down and read fic and what better time to catch up on all of these wonderful writings than when we’re all stuck at home. over the past few weeks i’ve been slowly compiling this list, and while i haven’t even made a dent in my to-reads, i decided to post what i have so far in honor of 1daaw. as i read more over the next few weeks since we’ll still be stuck at home, i will try to compile more fic rec lists as i feel like this is a great way to show some love to my favorite stories and authors. i haven’t had a chance to reach out to all these amazing writers to tell them how much i love these stories, so if you’re on here, take this as my official love letter to you. 🥰

niall fics:

and they’ll hang us in the louvre by @in-madhouses

there is SO MUCH about this fic that i absolutely fell in love with. the enemies to lovers trope, the characters, the plot, and the absolutely fantastic writing are all to die for. basically, niall and his friends (aka some of the 1d boys) are actors on a television adaptation of the marauders (so already i’m like !!!!!!) and aahna is a recurring guest star on the show. the two of them just grate at each others’ nerves the whole time they have to shoot together and it’s all quick-witted banter and heated moments and exquisite characterization. aahna is unapologetically herself, not afraid to tell it like it is (the rant about the neocolonialism of southeast asian cuisine in the prologue was the best thing ever) and she’s definitely up there as one of my favorite OFCs of all time.

this story is witty and fun and a perfect light-hearted read. inm is such a gorgeous writer and some of the lines in this story read like poetry. i literally found myself stopping on multiple occasions and going wow. honestly, what a treat. inm also has a self-isolation drabble series that i’ve been meaning to get into and i can’t wait to start reading that as well.

but oh, my heart still burns by @houseofbrokenhearts

as i started to read this story, i had the biggest smile on my face. it begins with shane and niall as young, inseparable best friends and continues on into their adulthood in which things get complicated, as they always do in these scenarios. it’s nostalgic and innocent and sort of whimsical. i laughed at the part where shane is upset at not getting a cell phone when niall does because it reminded me of being a kid in a similar situation. also the scenes where they reunite after years of being apart? impeccable.

this story has beautiful writing. i felt as though i could feel every emotion as shane was feeling them, and once i started i just couldn’t put this down. it has not been updated in a while which, as a writer who has also left her fics only to update months or years later, i understand that life gets in the way or we may lose motivation or whatever. but, whatever the future holds for this story, i just want to put it out there that i so so so adore it, and niall and shane are one of those fic pairings that i will possibly never stop thinking about.

why did we climb and fall so far by @niallismymuse

first of all, holy shit. when i finished reading this i literally sobbed my eyes out and then laid in bed staring at the ceiling for an hour. this fic is only four chapters and it made me feel so many things. at points, i was looking at my screen with heart eyes because niall and ellie are so in love and then i was laughing because their banter is the cutest and then all of a sudden i’m getting my fucking heart broken.

second, i think it’s a testament to how wonderful a writer shelly is to be able to elicit these emotions so powerfully, taking us all on a rollercoaster of intense feelings. the prose on this is just phenomenal and there were lines that absolutely took my breath away. i am so picky with what i read sometimes because fiction has this ability to take you places you may not be prepared to go (definitely a trigger warning on this for heavy themes), but i am so happy i found this because it was such beautiful writing. i can’t even begin to imagine the energy and emotional willpower it must have taken to write this, so to shelly, thank you for sharing your words with us. this story is definitely one i won’t be forgetting anytime soon, and i can’t wait to dive into the rest of your stories.

harry fics:

matchmaking for experts by @booksncoffee

eriza is one of the most prolific writers of the 1dff community and her consistency and drive is something i enormously admire. this story is just one of many really fantastic ones from her and i urge everyone to go check out her masterlist--you won’t be disappointed.

but anyway, back to matchmaking for experts--it’s only one chapter in and i am already hooked. there is so much to unpack in just one installment: harry’s apparent tense relationship with his father, the colorful workplace environment of the matchmaking service, the slight mutual pining between maia and harry that i anticipate will only grow as this story goes on and i am hype for it. i’m right there with the rest of the matchcierge staff in lowkey giving maia and harry’s relationship the side eye and rooting for them. all in all, it’s a fantastic beginning. eriza, you are so talented, and i can’t wait to see where this story goes.

rumor has it by @stylishmuser

first off, p is wonderful and brilliant and she deserves all the praise in the world. this story is the perfect collision of my two favorite worlds (bollywood and 1d) and i absolutely adore it so far. i don’t even think i have enough words to describe how much i love this story and its characters. literally, if ishika were a real person i’d want to protect her with my whole life. her characterization and history are crafted so so well; she’s vulnerable and strong and determined. i can’t wait to watch how she grows throughout this story.

also, there are moments that literally have me staring at my screen with the biggest heart eyes: ishika making harry taste pani puri, harry being so soft and gentle with her at the beach and at her fitting, the pining. i am literally so in love. p also writes this story with such care and precision that it shows. it is so intricately crafted with so many layers and is just such a pleasure to read. she also updates so often that i am in awe of her drive. i have to dive into the rest of her stories, which i know are absolutely amazing even if i haven’t read them yet, and i’m looking forward to that as well. p, what a beautiful story. i can’t wait to see where it goes.

i know there are so many more fics that i need to read and i’m always taking recs in my inbox. until then, happy reading, and don’t forget to send some love to these authors when you’re done!

#sorry if this is long #i was going to put it under a read more but i want people to see these stories!!!#1daaw #recs

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itsclydebitches · 5 years

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RWBY Recaps: “With Friends Like These”

I was on a vine kick last night because what better way to waste your time and stay up horrendously late then by watching compilations of six-second absurdity? Which reminded me that this gem exists:

“Release all the sounds trapped in your mind” only for the grinch to let out this demonic, very relatable screech. That’s me right now, folks. That sound? It’s emanating from my soul.

I don’t even know how to provide a summary of my feelings unless you all are interested in watching this vine on a loop. So let’s just drop straight into the plot.

We start with a black screen, Ruby’s voice-over repeating the message she sent out at the end of last episode, then opening onto the airship with Qrow, Clover, Robyn, and Tyrian. The group doesn’t waste any time. They jump straight into making terrible, idiotic choices that go against their established characterizations. Despite the fact that Robyn announced she had seriously misjudged Ironwood mere hours ago, she immediately takes up Team RWBY’s simplistic stance of, “We can’t let him do this!” Granted, Robyn doesn’t have all the context information that the group does, such as precisely how depleted their tropes are and that the perimeter may have already been taken out. Nevertheless, she just went through an arc wherein she expected the worst of Ironwood---you’re doing something horrific with that tower!---only to be proven horrendously wrong and admit that she’d been wrong. Robyn just held his hand, semblance activated, while he asked Mantle to stand with him in this fight. Like when the group was heading back to Ironwood’s office, Robyn isn’t inclined to even consider that Ironwood might have a good reason for making these decisions. The group as a whole has a habit of jumping straight to, “He’s betraying us??” rather than, “Wow. Shit. Something must have happened back there that I’m not aware of. Because Ironwood has absolutely demonstrated that he never does anything without good reason. I must be missing some crucial piece of this situation if he’s suddenly declaring Martial Law.” (Which, I’d like to point out, is a temporary situation in response to an emergency... which this very much is. Characters and fandom alike are acting as if Ironwood has declared himself King of Atlas or something.) It comes down to the issue of the whole volume: one of trust. No one but the Ace Ops has put any trust in Ironwood, despite Ironwood actually working to earn that trust. A sharp contrast to the Volume 5 group who demanded Ozpin’s secrets without proving their loyalty first. Ironwood does what they couldn’t, proving his loyalty to them time and time again, only to get none of it in return. These people aren’t even willing to consider the possibility that maybe he has a good reason for making these calls. It’s not the outcome they want and is, therefore, “proof” of his antagonist status.

So all Robyn’s growth in regards to Ironwood is immediately erased. Literally in her first line. Despite the fact that Clover starts to remind her of this, defending this assumption that Ironwood is just a crazy doing evil, crazy things (that’s Tyrian btw), but of course he’s interrupted. His scroll chimes, revealing the arrest warrant out on RWBYJNROQ.

Now, I’ve seen a lot of people freaking out about this image since it dropped yesterday, using it as more evidence for how cruel and unfair Ironwood is. “What’s he got against Oscar? Or Qrow? See! He’s just gunning for all of them, regardless of whether they did anything wrong.” Except that Ironwood isn’t stupid. (When the writing remembers that he’s not, anyway.) He is well aware that this group is a unit. They’re joined at the hip. Once Ruby decides something that’s it, everyone follows. Ironwood’s goal coming into all this was never to arrest them. The only reason he decided on that course of action is because Team RWBY made it crystal clear that would work to keep him from saving Atlas at the expense of Mantle. Thus, what he’s aiming for is not truly “Arrest these people” but “Keep these people from standing in my way,” which Ironwood simply can’t accomplish if only Team RWBY is in custody. He knows very well that there are five other people out there who will immediately take up their cause. This might have been a different situation if Ruby herself hadn’t announced across all their scrolls that this is Ironwood’s plan and we have to stop him. That was unambiguously a call to arms: stop him like we’re trying to stop him now. So yes, Ironwood is absolutely going to put out an arrest for Qrow and Oscar as well. He doesn’t know Oscar’s situation with Neo. He doesn’t know that Qrow would be faithful to him---and indeed he’s absolutely not.

As Qrow begins stoking his own anger, Robyn moves from a character I legitimately liked and rooted for to someone I wasn’t at all sad to cut out of the episode via unconsciousness. She’s straight up arrogant here, labeling Ironwood’s choice as an “inhuman plan” despite not knowing what that plan is or why it’s necessary, following that up with, “Looks like he underestimated me again.” Look, I’m not inclined to be all polite and peace-keeping in this recap---RWBY hasn’t earned that---so there’s going to be a lot of salt this time around. I just want to give everyone fair warning in case that’s not your cup of tea. That established, I want to be blunt in saying: get over yourself, Robyn. This has nothing to do with you. She acts as if it’s a personal slight, as if rather than making the hard call to try and save as many people as he can, Ironwood spent last episode twirling his non-existent mustache and thinking up nefarious plans specifically to slight her. The fandom wants to talk about unstable characters? That’s Robyn here. Ironwood might shout and look terrified, but he’s taking the time to think through his actions before implementing them, considering each option before deciding on what he believes is the solution best suited to their survival. Robyn might seem calm and confident, but she’s jumping to conclusions and is the first to raise her weapon, threatening Clover while he’s attempting to approach this issue peacefully. It reminds me of that point in regards to arguments: just because someone is emotional doesn’t mean they’re wrong and just because someone can keep calm doesn’t mean they’re right. Robyn puts on a good show, but she’s more interested in maintaining her former, simplistic view of Ironwood---I knew he was out to get me!---and perceiving personal attacks against her, rather than grappling with what’s actually happening or, heaven forbid, getting more information before aiming an arrow at Clover’s head.

As Qrow joins her in being pissed I have to ask... did he just forget who Salem is?

Because Ruby announced that. “Salem is coming.” I love how the writing just has all the characters ignore what is the most crucial part of this entire dilemma. Team RWBY doesn’t get to spout generic “We can do it!” without acknowledging, let alone finding a way to circumvent, the issue of an immortal sorceress bearing down on them. Same with Qrow here. If anything he should be the most inclined to prioritize what’s actually important in this situation, considering that he’s known about Salem for far longer and has an even better picture of what she’s capable of. But he just ignores it too. Rather then recognizing that Clover doesn’t want to arrest him but has a responsibility to, that Ironwood may well have very good reasons for doing this considering Qrow doesn’t know what the hell his kids have been up to while he’s away, that now is not the time to join in Robyn’s fight when Salem herself is approaching, that allowing himself to be arrested would likewise allow him to speak to Ironwood like he wants to, given how sympathetic Clover is to him and would no doubt take him straight to Ironwood if he asked... Qrow, like the rest of the RWBYJNR group, decides that fighting is the only answer.

It comes down to maturity, something our heroes simply don’t have. Regardless of literal ages they act like children throwing tantrums. The second they don’t get precisely what they want they jump to violence as their solution. If you don’t adhere to my whim then I will fight you until you either agree (Cordovin) or are too injured to stop me (the Ace Ops). No, Yang, you don’t have to fight every single battle that comes your way. Especially when this group is creating those battles in the first place. No one made them launch an attack on Argus in the form of first stealing military property and then choosing to attack Cordovin when she gave them the option of surrendering. No one made them plant themselves in front of Ironwood and give the verbal/body language equivalent of announcing that Ironwood will have to forcibly move them if he wants to succeed. And then when he does that the writing and the fandom act like Ironwood attacked out of the blue, rather than accepting the gauntlet that Team RWBY threw down. They’re violent. They’re callous. They’re arrogant. In two volumes we haven’t seen them display an ounce of compassion or humility towards those not in their little circle, from renouncing the adults in their lives, to ignoring Ozpin, to betraying Ironwood left and right and then acting like he still owes them anything. These people are not heroes and Qrow is very quickly joining them.

I find it hilariously ironic that last week people were screaming over how Ironwood is “Doing precisely what the villains want,” as if it’s possible to make hard, morally complex calls like this without creating division. Salem’s win there is inevitable. It is straight up impossible for Ironwood to do ANYTHING that doesn’t create some kind of discord among the people and his allies. He decides to leave Mantle? Team RWBY is upset. Stick around for a suicide mission? Ace Ops are upset. Refuse to make a decision and demand that someone else shoulder this weight for once? Everyone is upset because how dare you, you’re our leader. It’s a rigged setup---which is precisely why Salem is so hard to beat---so people need to stop acting like Ironwood had an out here that he simply refused to take. But I’m getting off track. That response is hilarious because you know who does do precisely what the villains want while actually having the option not to?

Robyn and Qrow.

Tyrian is literally sitting there laughing over this “show” and hoping that they’ll fight, giving him the chance to escape. He says as much. Please fight. To which Robyn responds, “He’s right. Let’s get this over with” and shoots at Clover.

“He’s right.”

“HE’S RIGHT.”

I don’t know how much more on-the-nose it can be. The villain clearly expresses what he wants to happen, a supposed hero verbally agrees with him, and then does that exact thing. But sure. Ironwood is the one playing into the villains’ hands. All of which doesn’t even touch on Qrow willingly teaming up with Tyrian later on, but we’ll get to that.

Obviously during the ensuing fight Tyrian does get free (who would have thought...) and kills the pilot of the ship. So congratulations, Robyn. Your supposed desire to defend the people just got one of them needlessly killed. That was entirely preventable and extending responsibility past the actual murderer, it’s on her that this guy died.

The airship begins to crash and Qrow... randomly freaks out about it? I’m endlessly confused by character strength in the show. Jumping out of airships is a repeated activity that’s treated as a game. We just watched the group nonchalantly leaving a burning, plummeting, also-had-a-grimm attached to it airship at the beginning of the Mantle battle, but now suddenly one crashing is this super big deal? That Qrow is going to panic about? That manages to take out Robyn? Okay...

Anyway they crash and we segue to Winter. And I just have to say: god bless Winter Schnee.

FINALLY someone with some common sense. As soon as Winter sees the arrest warrant she asks herself, “Weiss... what did you do?” Because yeah! They did do something! Winter is the only character who acknowledges that maybe, just possibly, our precious Team RWBY messed things up. That they’re capable of making mistakes. Unlike Robyn and Qrow she doesn’t jump to, “Oh my god you’re arresting my sister?” but rather keeps her head and acknowledges that if the general who has done nothing but treat her sister with respect and compassion since she arrived now wants her in custody... he probably has a damn good reason for that. This is a switch from the start of the volume when Winter reamed out the guards for putting Weiss in handcuffs rather than first seeing why she was chained up in the first place, but it’s a switch I’m here for.

She and Penny then get into a conversation about choices and demonstrations of grief. Winter points out what I’ve been arguing for the last week: just because someone doesn’t waste time sobbing over a hard decision doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt them to make it, and just because a decision is hard doesn’t mean it’s not the right call under these circumstances. “The general is making hard choices so that we don’t have to. For the good of all, not just the few,” Winter says and I want to reach right through my computer screen and give her a kiss for being the one compassionate, level-headed character right now. Penny, however, isn’t convinced. “I do not see what is good about any of this,” she says, rejecting Winter holding her hands in a way she didn’t reject Ruby doing it (surprise, surprise). It’s notable though that Winter responds with, “On that we can agree.” That right there is the kicker. Just because you’ve chosen the best of two options doesn’t mean either option is good. It just means one is less shitty. Winter is perfectly willing to admit that there’s nothing actually good in this situation, but she likewise admits that Ironwood isn’t wrong for shouldering the lesser evil so that no one else has to. That’s the sort of nuanced perspective we deserved from Team RWBY.

Instead, they’re insisting on a perfect happy ending in a world that they know damn well doesn’t allow for that. There’s a difference between being hopeful and striving for an “impossible” outcome when feasible, vs. allowing that “It’s a perfect ending or nothing” perspective keep you from making any progress at all. Team RWBY would rather watch both Mantle and Atlas burn in their attempts to reach perfection than to admit that sometimes that’s just not possible. They’re Blake, telling Yang that she never ever wants to be put into a situation where she has to kill again while likewise refusing to take the steps---dropping out of the war, not being a huntress, etc.---that would allow for that. She wants impossible things built on a kinder world and while of course it’s completely understandable why she wants that and while it’s heroic to strive for that world in the long-term... none of that means anyone is going to get it right now. They have got to balance pragmatism with blind, hopeful naivety. Especially when there are so many lives on the line. The truly devastating things is we could have seen that this volume. If the story had allowed the group to talk about Salem, reconcile with Ozpin, pool his knowledge with what Ruby knows about her eyes hurting Cinder, allowed Maria to actually function as a mentor, training her, combining this psychologically-based weapon with Ruby’s fears and flaws, allowed for growth... then we could have gotten a fight where instead of the group just going, “We have to try!” they could counter with, “This is how we try. You prepare Atlas for evacuation if necessary. We’ll work on getting everyone in Mantle out, hopefully using my silver eyes as a last resort. If it comes to it? You can leave us behind. But we have to at least take a chance on this to save as many people as possible.” That would have been heroic and can you imagine the possibilities for the future? Salem actually attacking head on only to face the first Silver Eyed Warrior since Maria capable of doing damage. Being so shocked by that that she retreats, re-setting her status as a villain who prefers to keep her distance, immortality aside. The group getting definitive proof that there may be a way to win, even if it’s going to be a long, hard slog to beat Salem’s magic, her army, and her immortality in the long run. The hope is there though, supported through what we’ve seen on screen, and the group manages to save Mantle by working with Ironwood, rather than insisting that Ironwood work with them based on nothing.

Obviously none of that happens. Rather, here Penny is adopting the exact same mindset of the group: hope based on nothing and therefore dangerous. Normally I would chalk this up to her being a robot and not understanding such complexities, but it’s clear she’s meant to be a stand-in for Team RWBY here, challenging Winter as she parallels Ironwood. Everything from the pissed-off tone to pulling her hands away demonstrates that Penny, like Team RWBY, isn’t even willing to entertain the idea of a hard choice. They’re all still Pyrrhas, preferring to kill themselves rather than retreat. Except that in this case they’re insisting that everyone else die with them.

While Penny coldly walks away from Winter the fight between RWBY and the Ace Ops starts... and it’s just as absurd as I knew it was going to be. Please note throughout that, like Clover, the actual adults in the room are the only ones willing to compromise. Harriet makes it clear that she will not start this fight. She emphasizes that an arrest is only “Until this is sorted out...” As established, the only reason why they’re being arrested at all is because RWBY made it clear that they would actively stand in the way of Ironwood doing his job. They betrayed him first---as Elm will later point out---and they all but announced that they will continue to betray him so long as they’re free. You created this situation. Here, that agency is repeated. “We’re not doing anything. They decide what happens next.” You can still walk away from this and accept that you’ve made a mistake. It’s another Cordovin situation. Ruby has the choice to attack an ally or act mature for once and not make things worse... she decides to make things worse.

(Also I despise Yang’s little, “Really?” when Harriet closes down the room like... please lose the attitude. Just for five seconds. I’m begging you.)

Marrow is hesitant as most assumed he would be but he nevertheless stands by his team. Especially once Harriet makes it clear that they’re not going to unduly attack these teenagers. They will only defend themselves. It’s Ruby blasting through the doors that kicks things off, but not before she sets up the “justification” for how these drop-out second years beat the best huntsmen in all of Atlas.

“You were... then you trained us.”

Really? That’s the explanation? A few training sessions beats full schooling and years more experience/practice? I knew the show was going to give us some BS reason for why the group was able to beat what’s quite possibly the most elite team in the entire world at this point, but this is still straight-up absurd. At this point I suppose Team RWBY really doesn’t need anyone else. Adults have never once helped them---we did it all ourselves!---everyone else is always wrong, and they’re the most powerful now, so obviously they don’t even have anything else to learn technique-wise. Good. Great. Thanks, I hate it.

Also, let’s just talk about manipulation for a second. Later on Qrow will accuse Clover of this, claiming he’s manipulating him by saying that he should surrender since Robyn needs help... even though that’s just a straight up fact. Robyn is injured. She does need help, and she won’t get it so long as Qrow insists on picking a fight with someone who does not want to fight him. Even if everyone agrees that Clover is 100% in the wrong for trying to arrest Qrow in the first place, someone’s life potentially being on the line kind of supersedes that. Idk about you all but if someone getting medical help rested on me turning myself in... I’d turn myself in. Clearly Qrow doesn’t give a damn about Robyn if he’s willing to place his freedom over her safety and Clover is right to point that out. What is manipulation though? Ruby’s talk with Harriet. Notice the staggering difference in tone. She’s pure cocky confidence when she announces that the Ace Ops are no longer the best huntsmen in Atlas and then the second Harriet manages to slam Ruby into the wall her entire presentation changes. “You know we need to be working together!” she cries. Her voice is childish again, the arrogance is gone, she’s putting the responsibility on Harriet to “work together” even though Ruby, all of three seconds ago, is the only who rejected Harriet’s offer that they didn’t need to fight. And this only happens when Ruby is in a position where it looks like she’s losing. Oh no, Harriet actually managed to catch me and slam me into the elevator hard enough to dent it? Clearly she won’t be as easy to beat as I thought, so let’s act like a vulnerable kid again begging you to do the “right” thing, instead of a confident huntress starting this fight in the first place... that’s manipulation. Ruby is deliberately changing how she portrays both herself and the situation depending on whether or not she’s getting what she wants, aka winning.

Harriet responds to that precisely as she should: “Don’t give me that crap.”

Really, the whole fight is an exercise in frustration as Team RWBY endlessly refuses to admit that they could ever do anything wrong. Elm shouts that they betrayed them first and all Blake cares about is how they’re betraying the people now. Just swipe our sins under the rug because clearly they don’t matter, to say nothing of the fact that those sins led to this conflict in the first place. Yang snidely announces that, “It’s not worth it, Blake. They’re just following orders” even though that is straight up not the case. You’ve been lying since Volume 5, Yang, so forgive me if I’m not about to take you at your word. Especially when I just watched a full ten minutes last week straight up proving you wrong.

Honestly does Rooster Teeth think we’re not watching the show? That they can just make new claims each week and have us not remember the blatant contrasts that came before it, stuff that they provided? It’s like this every episode now. Whatever we see happening on screen is quickly erased and replaced with whatever Team RWBY believes and I’m so completely over it.

The whole fight is just stupidity incarnate. Not the animation---beautiful there---but everything else is a chore to watch. I enjoy how we get not one, but TWO moments where the Ace Ops announce that they’re not going to hold back anymore... only to then have the group immediately beat them after that announcement. Marrow’s true power is hinted at with, “I’m trying to arrest her, not kill her” only for Weiss to take him out with one shot when he finally uses his semblance. Vine and Elm talk about how they’re going to take this fight seriously now, only for Yang to beat them both easy-peasy immediately afterward. It doesn’t get much more contrived than that. None of the group even needed to help one another, with the exception of Blake and Yang who are, of course, never ever separated (not even in a clear 4v4 battle). I could maybe buy one of the group getting lucky and then two or three teaming up to take out another Ace Op. If Ruby took advantage of Harriet’s exhaustion after the battle and then went to help Weiss take out Marrow together. But no. No one needs any assistance. I mean yeah, Weiss throws up an ice barrier, but it’s clear Ruby didn’t need the help. Especially after getting the cuffs around Harriet. Weiss just hurried things along.

Afterwards the group isn’t even winded and all their auras are intact. It’s insane. And you know what I kept thinking the whole time? Ironwood gave you all those armor and weapon upgrades. Yang relies heavily on Atlas bombs in this fight. Based on Ruby’s comment, their ability to go head-to-head with the Ace Ops at all lies in what they taught them. We’re talking about betrayals? It really hits home that the group’s victory is built on all the trust they were shown by others. The training and the weapons and the resources and the safety and the support and the time to improve their skills. Then Team RWBY turned around and attacked them with it.

We end that battle with Maria and Pietro showing up. Maria, oh so shockingly, turns it all into a joke. “This is the part where they ask us to help.” Team RWBY? Facing criticism, or even just suspicion when caught with a bunch of unconscious military personnel? Nah. Just give ‘em a hand!

The only part I liked in this fight was Weiss’ comment about Mantle being her home. That’s a motivation I could get behind, not just a general, “We can’t abandon the people!” but an emotional attachment to her kingdom that blinds her to the hard realities of the situation. It’s too bad that wasn’t explored further.

We then move onto JNR and honestly? I found this scene to be a bit underwhelming. Granted, I liked the setup between Nora, Neo, and Oscar. Seeing “Oscar” standing in the hallway and smiling in a way that we knew immediately was Neo made for a wonderfully creepy and briefly tense moment. Kudos there.

What I like less is:

1. Not getting to see that initial fight between Oscar and Neo. All his characterization keeps happening off screen.

2. Still no Ozpin. By denying us that first encounter we likewise lost the presumed resolution of Ozpin providing aid, either by speaking to Oscar or taking over the fight.

3. Connected to 2... since when the hell can Oscar survive Neo for an undetermined length of time? I mean seriously. Which is it, Rooster Teeth? Is Oscar still so weak that it’s oh-so-obvious why he wouldn’t help a team of thirteen others fight a geist, or is he so strong he can 1v1 Neo until JNR shows up? Because the discrepancy between those is massive. There’s not even an implication that Oscar just successfully hid from her or something. When he appears he straight up lands a punch on her, despite telegraphing it in the most obvious way possible.

It’s just so, so messy. There’s no consistency at all anymore. Neo can take on a Maiden but gets blindsided by a barely-trained kid all but screaming, “I’m going to punch you now!”? Alright. Sure. I don’t know why I’m even surprised at this point.

So it’s Team JNOR vs. Neo next episode. Obviously if Oscar can handle her himself then the four of them should take her out in an instant.

We return to Penny and Winter where she says, “I hope it’s painless for her,” referring to losing the Maiden during the transfer. Obviously this post is more salt than meta so here, have some more: Penny is an absolute brat here. “You said your personal feelings don’t matter.” I don’t care if she’s a robot, Penny knows enough to understand the situation and realize that a comment like that is just straight up cruel. If she fundamentally disagreed with what Winter said in the hallway then she would have left like Team RWBY. Instead she’s here, acknowledging that even if she doesn’t like this, they’re both making the right call in helping Winter gain the Maiden powers and then retreating from Salem. So don’t twist the knife by implying that Winter is so heartless she doesn’t even care about the Maiden’s comfort. You don’t get to assist in this and drag Winter for the same exact thing.

Winter is astoundingly patient with her attitude, precisely how Ironwood was patient with the group criticizing and yelling at him all volume. She explains that of course she still feels badly. You can wrestle with your feelings while still taking action, something Team RWBY (and most of the fandom) clearly doesn’t get. Penny at least admits that she thinks she understands now, which is more growth in a sentence then we’ve gotten from Team RWBY in two volumes. We also see that Winter does intend to use the machine to transfer the power, something we’re not even sure works yet considering that Pyrrha never got to complete the process (the Volume 3 parallels aren’t at all subtle).

Which is when Cinder shows up. She obviously kills all the guards and blasts through the doors, demonstrating just a small sampling of her power. Penny recognizes her as the one who orchestrated her death and announces that she has “feelings” about it. So it’s a Penny and Winter vs. Cinder fight as well next week. For the record, this is a moment when you don’t back down from a fight. When standing your ground through violence is heroic rather than immature and dangerous. What I’m getting at is: Penny and Winter are best girls at the moment. Level-headed, heroic, compassionate, and when they’re not they learn from that. They grow. Thank god at least some characters are still marginally intact.

All of which finally brings us back to Qrow and the others. 4,000 words in and my fingers are tired, but I’ll attempt to give this fight the attention it deserves lol.

The airship has crashed almost directly below Amity Arena---that’s some kind of setup. Could Watts still be inside?---and, as mentioned, Robyn is rendered unconscious during the crash and clearly needs help. Qrow goes so far as to check her pulse. We get that “manipulation” on Clover’s part which is really just him laying out precisely what the situation is: you can either fight me when neither of us want that, endangering Robyn in the process, or you can accept being arrested, get her help, and we’ll see if we can work things out back in Atlas. “We don’t have to fight, friend,” he says and Qrow scoffs at that. Because remember, he’s Yang’s uncle too. This family never backs down from a fight, even a needless one, and you’re only their “friend” if you do precisely what they want at all times. Otherwise you’re an enemy. Even when there are clearly real enemies standing right beside you.

Now, I’m already seeing absolutely illogical posts claiming that Tyrian manipulated Qrow and... no. Just no. That’s not at all what happened. First off, it’s clear before Tyrian even gets involved again that Qrow is hell-bent on making bad decisions all on his own. As said, he’s prioritizing fighting Clover over getting Robyn help, or dealing with Salem, or literally anything else that’s a bigger issue right now. Qrow isn’t thinking. I mean, what does he even intend to do if he somehow manages to beat both Clover and Tyrian on his own (when he couldn’t even beat Tyrian solo in Volume 4)? Is he going to take Robyn back to Atlas himself? The city where he’s still a wanted man? The city Clover already wants to take him to, even if it’s in handcuffs? What’s he going to do with the serial killer exceptionally skilled at breaking out of his bonds? What’s he going to do with an exhausted or unconscious Clover? Leave him out there in the cold? The cold that both Weiss and our recent heating crisis insists can kill you very quickly without aura? Here is another, beautiful example of our “heroes” emphasizing fighting as the go-to answer without considering the repercussions of that. Qrow doesn’t need Tryian to manipulate him into bad decisions. He’s doing a great job of it all on his own.

When Tryian does arrive though---and for the record him dislocating his thumb was great. I have dislocated my thumb before, folks, and it’s a ride---Qrow WILLINGLY teams up with him. Just like Robyn going, “He’s right” there is precisely zero ambiguity here.

Tyrian offers to work with Qrow to take out Clover and Qrow agrees. Full stop. That’s what happened. He had all the information, all his own agency, and he made that decision all on his own. He literally teams up with the villain to take out an ally. “No wait,” I see posts saying, “Qrow never wanted to kill Clover! He just wanted to get him to stop fighting. It’s not his fault it ended like that...” Excuse me, but what do you think serial killers do? He NEVER could have IMAGINED that TYRIAN might BETRAY him people say, as if that’s not the entire basis of Tyrian’s character. He kills people and laughs about it. It’s his thing and thus there is no justification for trusting him, only stupidity. Which doesn’t even include Qrow just gunning for Clover in the first place. He needs Clover to beat someone like Tyrian---we proved that through a comparison of Volume 4 with last week’s battle---but yeah, sure, team up with Salem’s henchmen to take out your friend, banking on the fact that Tyrian won’t do a single naughty thing along the way and that you will somehow be able to take him out solo after it’s all done. This? This is on Qrow.

I mean it’s mostly on Tyrian for doing the actual killing, I hope people get that, but it’s also on Qrow. When Tyrian says, “You mean like how you just killed Clover?” he’s not just talking about a framing, Qrow left alone with airships landing and his own weapon covered in blood. He set up the scenario that led directly to Clover’s death. He attacked and willfully endangered an ally. He is culpable.

The fact that Qrow is screaming beforehand, “Why couldn’t you just do the right thing instead of the thing you were told?!” while Clover announces that, “I trust James with my life and I wanted to trust you” just makes it all the more worse. RWBYJNROQ has no trust for anyone outside of their own team. Ironwood and the Ace Ops all trusted them and had hopped that they could trust them in turn. Each and every time our “heroes” betrayed that trust horrifically. Qrow’s actions here are the ultimate demonstration of that. Rather than trusting Clover to take him in and working through this situation together, Qrow decides that he trusts Tyrian more. Literally that’s what it came down to. I trust Tyrian to have my back more than I trust you to help me through an arrest we don’t understand yet... and wow. That’s just one hell of a stance to take.

And Qrow then has the gall to blame Ironwood for this. Which just sets my blood on fire. Like full on, “Remember this is a fictional show, Clyde, and tone done the emotional investment” anger. Because it’s not just that Qrow is straight-up delusional here. I mean, I’m sorry, but did Ironwood force Robyn to take a shot at Clover? Was Ironwood out in this wasteland forcing you to put your trust in Tyrian over an ally you’ve spent weeks befriending? No, Qrow doesn’t get to let himself off the hook here. This is precisely the same absurd “logic” the fandom uses on Ozpin in regards to Pyrrha. He never got her killed. Pyrrha chose to go fight Cinder herself, expressly against Ozpin’s wishes. Here, Ironwood did not get Clover killed. Qrow decided to fight him and team up with Tyrian, expressly against Ironwood’s wishes of merely sidelining them until he can get Atlas to safety. So Qrow is lying to himself. Completely. Which could be a really compelling situation wherein Qrow must come to grips with his own guilt and learn not to blame Ironwood for his own choices, except...

The narrative supports it.

Again.

Because Qrow says, “James will take the fall” and Clover smiles a happy, serene smile up at him. Gone is the loyalty to Ironwood---something we saw just seconds ago---and in its place is the non-verbal agreement that Ironwood is at fault for this and yes, please make sure he pays for it.

I honestly stand amazed at how Rooster Teeth can take one of my favorite characters and so quickly screw him up, making me hate him in the process. Like I still love Qrow, but currently it’s in the same way I love the rest of the group: for who they were before Volume 6 and 7 slammed in to butcher everything good about them.

Finally, we need to end on a note that goes beyond just frustration at a web series and into some real life implications: the bury your gays trope. While Rooster Teeth is clearly trying in regards to their queer representation, as of this episode they’ve ultimately done more harm than good. Ilia, as I wrote back in Volume 5, was a terrible introduction to queer characters in a story built around heroic women, drawing not just from aspects of the psycho lesbian trope but “redeeming” her in a matter of minutes to try and distance her sexuality from her status as a villain. Saphron and Terra, while absolutely lovely, are still just minor characters that the story has now entirely forgotten (which, notably, same with Ilia). Blake and Yang are the primary queer ship in the works... but they’re not canon yet. Oh, I believe wholeheartedly that Rooster Teeth is setting things up and that they’re not at all subtle about it---I’m not here to argue that they’re “just friends”---but until we’re given actual, on screen acknowledgment of their sexuality and/or relationship it remains in the realm of interpretation, no matter how “obvious” it may seem to some. Hinting at queerness is no longer an appropriate stand-in for clear representation. Meanwhile, in regards to the men, Rooster Teeth has taken their most queer coded character, Ozpin, and not only crafted his character around the fact that he is endlessly doomed to die, but then wrote him out of the story for nearly two whole volumes, potentially longer depending on how our finale goes. That’s a different kind of “death” in storytelling. Even if we can’t literally kill you off, we can orchestrate a situation wherein we just don’t have to deal with you.

Now, there’s Qrow and Clover. I’ve spoken elsewhere about how in their case I do think there’s a solid argument for “just friends,” but there’s an equal argument for more and the mere existence of that puts a really horrible taste in my mouth when I watch Clover get gutted on screen. Qrow has relationships with other men in the series and they’re not nearly as soft as what he had with Clover. Again, their setup isn’t in the realm of Blake/Yang with obvious hand-holding and massive blushes, but there’s a definite encouragement to at least think about reading them as flirting. Besides Ozpin---which we’ve discussed---Clover is the only one Qrow has quite, philosophical talks with. He’s the only one besides the kids who he teases and gets teased in turn. The final image of them, this one,

pulls from a number of romantic tropes. The partner kneeling by the body of their lover. The romantic colors in the setting sun. Qrow’s skyward scream and his vow of revenge, drawing parallels between other RWBY relationships like Jaune and Pyrrha. Rooster Teeth may not have queer baited with the same callous intensity as some shows, but they welcomed that perspective nonetheless and then killed Clover in a bloody, horrific fashion. That doesn’t leave me feeling like I can trust them as writers, even ignoring everything else the last two years. Especially when they butchered Qrow’s characterization to achieve this. Bad enough you kill off a potential gay, but you do it through a needless fight and one of our most street-smart characters putting his trust in Tryian, of all people? Honestly, shame on them.

The only good thing that came out of all this? The part of the fandom that saw Clover’s death coming a mile away. You all deserve to shout out a massive, “Told you so!” this week because I’ve seen the absolutely visceral hate you’ve received for a well-supported---and now proven---theory. Can’t say I’m surprised the fandom did that to you, but I am sorry. So grab hold of that flimsy sliver lining. I’m just likewise sorry the theory came about in such a dissatisfying, upsetting way.

And that’s it. Next week is the finale. I’m looking forward to it, if only so we can be done with the canon for another year. Because y i k e s.

Until then 💜

#rwby #rwby volume 7 #rwby volume 7 spoilers #rwby recaps #mymetas

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corvo-bianco-lilacs · 4 years

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Hey @lady-of-the-cunts, remember that post you made about modern AU Calanthe and Eist?

Well... I may have taken that and run with it :D

I hope you like it!!

It’s a bit long, but I kept pushing it off and off until I finally got the inspiration to finish it today before work!

Also @queen-calanthe-of-cintra, I hope you like it too!

Eist climbed out of bed, stretching for a moment before padding into the bathroom and stepping into the shower, cleaning the previous day from his taught skin. He stood under the water and compiled a list of chores that he planned to do while Calanthe was working, including picking Ciri up from school and cleaning around the house. He stepped out of the shower and pulled on a clean pair of boxers, followed by some old blue jeans and a faded black t-shirt that hugged his toned biceps just right.

First task: Laundry.

He walked down into the basement and pulled the clean clothes from the dryer, folding them into neat piles as he went. Ciri’s clothes to his left, Cal’s clothes to his right. He wiggled his brows for a moment when he found a thong of Cal’s among the clean clothes, his mind momentarily drifting to watching her slip out of it the night before as she sauntered over to bed. He took a breath, calming his racing heart and he placed the garment on the pile of her pants and shorts. Placing the clean clothes into the empty hamper to carry back upstairs, he took the wet clothes from the washer and tossed them into the dryer, starting the timer before gathering the clean clothes and taking them upstairs. He brought Ciri’s clothes to her room and placed them neatly on her bed, stopping for just a moment to gently scratch Kelpie’s ear. The lab wagged her tail happily before curling back up at the foot of Ciri’s bed. Eist then gathered the basket back up in his arms and carried it down the hall to their bedroom, quickly putting their clothes away before promptly making his way back down to the first floor.

“Kelpie! Come on girl, outside!” He called, waiting for the tell-tale sign of a rampaging lab barreling down the stairs. As soon as he caught sight of the sixty-pound lab, he slid the back door open and watched her run down the patio steps into the grass below, chasing a rabbit that had wandered into the yard. “Hey! No, don’t chase the rabbit!” Eist hollered, clapping his hands to get her attention. “Kelpie! Do your business!” With Kelpie outside, he stepped into the kitchen and gazed down at the next chore.

Second task: Dishes.

He’d nearly forgotten just how much his granddaughter liked to snack. With a laugh and a shake of his head, he got to work loading up the dishwasher and putting the clean dishes back in the cabinets and drawers. He started the next load before wiping down the counters and spraying out the sink, swaying a bit on his feet as he hummed a song to himself. He was broken from his reverie when Kelpie came up to the door and pawed at the glass. He slid the door open and allowed her back in, scratching behind her ear as he walked over to the counter and pulled a treat from the jar.

“Sit.” He instructed, watching her for a moment before she plopped down on her haunches. “Good girl!”

He tossed the treat to her, smiling as she caught it with a crunch, chewing happily as her tail wagged across the hardwood floor. Once finished with her treat, Kelpie trotted back up the stairs towards Ciri’s room. Eist smiled as he finished with the dishes, spraying out the sink once more as he tidied the area around it. He unloaded the second batch of dishes from the washer and put them away in the cupboards, then dried his hands on the towel that hung from the oven door. He peered over at the clock.

“Almost time to get my kiddo.” He mused, walking over to the bottom of the stairs. “Kelpie! Ride?” He called, listening for the lab as she thundered from Ciri’s room to the top of the stairs, her tail wagging furiously as she sped down the stairs to him, looking up at him expectantly as he grabbed her leash from the banister and clipped it to her collar and lead her out the door, grabbing his keys before locking the door behind them. He unlocked his trusty Crown Victoria, ushering Kelpie into the back seat before plopping into the driver’s seat and starting the engine. He pulled out of the driveway and rolled down the back window for Kelpie, turning the radio up just enough to hear over the gusts of wind. For a Friday, he was surprised by the lack of traffic, but he counted his blessings and pulled into the parking lot at Ciri’s middle school, popped the car into park, and waited with Kelpie for the school bell to ring.

He scrolled through his phone, sending Cal a few texts saying that he was waiting for Ciri at the school, that the dishes were done, and that he would see her when she got home. She replied with a quick photo that he would keep for… later… use. He cleared his throat as the school bell rang, releasing students for the weekend ahead. He rolled down the other back window so Kelpie could watch for her favorite girl. He smiled as he saw her approaching the car, her ashen hair pulled back into a ponytail, backpack slung over one shoulder, as she ran towards the car. She tossed her bag in the trunk and cuddled Kelpie through the open back window before climbing into the passenger seat and buckling herself in.

“Hey there half-pint.” Eist chuckled, leaning over to kiss her head as she settled in for the ride, a smile plastered on her face. “How was school?” He questioned, shifting the car into drive before rolling away from the curb and to the light leading out to the main road.

“It was good! I had fun today!”

“Oh? What did you guys do today?”

“We had ice cream after lunch, we had a spelling test that I got an A on, we learned about dissection in science class, Miss Merigold is teaching us about CPR, and Miss Papebrock let us have silent reading for the last half-hour of class!”

“Wow!” Eist declared, turning onto the road towards the house, “it sounds like you had a really good day at school!”

Ciri beamed up at him before turning her attention back out to the trees as they passed them by. Eist smiled at her, reaching over to pat her head affectionately before pulling back into the driveway and shutting the car off. Ciri hopped out of the car and gathered her bag from the trunk before opening the door for Kelpie to jump out beside her, following her up to the front door as Eist came up behind them. He unlocked the door and let the girls in before shutting it behind him.

“You ready for dinner, kiddo?” He asked, making his way towards the kitchen to gather the pan he had set aside earlier for chicken parmigiana. At Ciri’s quick response of ‘yes’, he set about gathering the ingredients and chicken, breading, frying, covering it in tomato sauce and thick slices of mozzarella, then popping the pan into the oven to finish with a soft bake.

While waiting for the chicken to finish cooking, he set about vacuuming the living room, letting the stereo play in the background. Currently it was playing 5 Seconds of Summer, and he sang along with the radio. So caught up in the song, he didn’t notice when the front door opened and Cal walked in, shutting the door behind her and turning to face him with a smirk on her lips. She watched her husband dance around with the vacuum, his voice echoing the words to the song as the smell of chicken filled the house. At that moment, Eist turned and caught his wife smirking at him, her arms folded across her chest as her eyes focused on his. He walked over to her and pulled her to his chest, dancing with her in the living room as he sang the words to her, twirling her and dipping her along to the lyrics, earning a smile and laughter from his usually stoic wife.

Ciri sat at the top of the stairs with Kelpie at her side, a smile on her lips as she watched her grandparents dance about the living room without a care in the world. She had to admit that her grandfather was pretty smooth as he took her grandmother in his arms, spinning around the living room in time with the music. She couldn’t help the smile on her face as she slowly ran her fingers through Kelpie’s fur, reaching up to scratch behind the pup’s ears. She continued to watch them until the song ended with her grandfather dipping her grandmother, then taking her lips in a tender kiss. Ciri fake gagged at the scene before her, bringing their attention to her as they broke out in fits of laughter.

“Alright there, half-pint, wash up for dinner then come down and join us.” Eist chuckled, pulling Calanthe back up to her feet as Ciri scampered off to the bathroom. Eist turned his attention back to Cal and leaned into her ear. “And I’ll have you know that I intend to see more than what that picture showed me after kiddo is in bed.” He whispered, kissing her neck as she shivered in his arms.

“You always will, dear.” She purred, walking with him into the kitchen to finish dinner before Ciri padded downstairs to join them. It was good to be home.

#the witcher #witcher fanfic #witcher fanfiction #witcher au fanfic #modern au #calanthe of cintra #calanthe x eist #queen calanthe #Calanthe fiona riannon #eist tuirseach #king eist #Cirilla Fiona Ellen Riannon #ciri #cirilla #fluff #happy family fanfic

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comicgeekscomicgeek · 4 years

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Their Hero Academia – Chapter 64: Final Exam part 6: Making the Grade

Presenting the next raw and unedited chapter of my on-going, next-gen, My Hero Academia fic, Their Hero Academia! Please note, this chapter may undergo more extensive editing before it gets posted to AO3/FF.net, as this one ended up a bit on the long side.

Earlier chapters can be found here

“Kocho! Were you watching the whole thing? I didn’t know you were going to be here! Does this mean you’re going to be in our class?” Ojiro wrapped her arms around Koharu and pulled her into a tight hug, which she returned. “What’d you think?”

“Maybe let her breathe, Kimmie?” Sato asked, but he was smiling. Even Koharu would admit the invisible girl’s enthusiasm was contagious.

“I was,” she told them, as she took a seat in the small auditorium she and Class 1-A had been brought to after the exam had ended, injuries had been tended to, and the Hero Course students had had a chance to shower and change. “You guys did good. I was worried for a while, but wow, you really pulled it off! Your teacher was quizzing me just about the entire time on what I’d do if I was out there with you. So, yeah, I think that’s pretty official.”

“Yeah, that sounds like him,” Sero added. He had one of those flick-combs and was trying to fix his hair. One strand was stubbornly sticking up no matter what he did. “Do you think he’s that scary naturally or does he have to work at it?”

“Bro, really?” Sato asked.

“I’m pretty sure it’s natural,” Koharu told him. “He can make you feel like he’s glaring at you even if he’s not looking at you.”

She gave a wave to Midoriya and Haimawari, who were in the front row with Tokoyami and Shinso. Twenty chairs filled the back of the room, meaning it could have fit a Hero class with room to spare or any class from any of the other courses. There was a podium at the front, and a large projection screen behind it.

As Aizawa, All Might, and Vice-Principal Midnight entered the room, Class 1-A grew silent and took their seats. Koharu folded her wings and took a seat in the second row from the back, with Ojiro, Sero, and Sato.

Behind the teachers followed the Villains from the exam. She recognized the bug-like Nauseous and the winged Raptor right off the bat, and it wasn’t hard to identify Kamuy and Shadow-Thief. Even utterly depleted of power, Kamuy still towered over most of them. The last one, a beefy man built like a sumo wrestler, with a shovel-like jaw, had to be Jawbreaker, even if he was now made of flesh instead of a conglomeration of metal, concrete, wood, and rock. All of them had changed from their costumes to comfortable clothes. Most of them looked amazingly relaxed for people who had just been fighting a bunch of students less than an hour ago. Only Shadow-Thief kept stealing furtive glances at the door.

Aizawa took the podium and held their gaze for what seemed like an uncomfortably long time. She was certain he was doing it on purpose, trying to put them on edge. She’d already gathered from his exam behavior and the discussion about the “Villains” that he liked to play mind games. “So, let’s discuss the results of your exam.”

He clicked a button on a small remote control, and the screen behind him divided into three vertical segments. The right portion contained a picture of Recovery Girl and a note that her final distance from the civilian defense shelter was two meters. Koharu had to admit, her heart had been in her chest the entire time Haimawari had been racing after her, especially as Shadow-Thief had gotten closer and closer to the end. But given that the numbers were green, she guessed they were still good.

“You were able to complete your primary objective and keep Doctor McGuffin from being moved past the 100 meter,” Aizawa went on. “Barely. Not guarding the defense shelter after you engaged with the Villains’ final assault was foolish and under other circumstances, could have been deadly not just to Doctor McGuffin, but to the others inside as well.”

Ojiro’s arm shot into the air. “No fair!” she whined. “You didn’t tell us she could just sneak inside like that!”

Aizawa narrowed his eyes. “The results would have been the same if one of the more powerful Villains had brute forced their way in. You all practically left the door open and did not only did not account for the full range of her teleportation abilities, but seemed to forget her existence entirely once you were engaged with the others. I shouldn’t have had to explain what all the Villains could and could not do to get in.”

Even Koharu had forgotten about Shadow-Thief, getting much more caught up in watching the other fights. But Aizawa was right too.

“Would have gotten away with it too,” Kamuy said to Shadow-Thief, “if you hadn’t stopped to gloat.”

“Don’t blame me,” Shadow-Thief hissed. She jerked a thumb in Aizawa’s direction. “He was the one who said we had to give them a fighting chance.”

“Still,” he went on, “you met the objective. Barely.”

The middle portion of the screen showed a tally of civilians rescued and a separate tally of failed rescues. The top number was bigger by a long shot, in the three digits, but there were numbers on the bottom too.

“In terms of civilian rescues,” Aizawa went on, “you more than surpassed the bar we set. The number of failed rescues includes a portion of the those injured in Doctor McGuffin’s abduction, but also those missed during the course of your other fights.”

He looked down. “Fortunately, no real lives were lost, as this was just an exam. But in the real world, there will come times when you’re unable to save everyone. When you have to make a split second decision between confronting the Villain or saving the civilian. When you’re too slow or not attentive enough or simply unaware there’s anyone there. It will happen and it’s more than likely at some point, you will make the wrong choice.

“So learn while you can.”

None of the others said anything at that, though many of class 1-A exchanged glances with each other. Koharu guessed that they were trying to figure out what they’d missed, what they hadn’t seen. Second guessing could make you crazy like that. Hopefully, it wouldn’t weigh on them too much.

The final screen displayed pictures of the Villains, all of them but Shadow-Thief with a red x slashed through them. “And for your third objective, you managed to defeat four of the five Villains. As valiant as your rescue of Doctor McGuffin was, Haimawari, I’m afraid it did not count as a complete take down of Shadow-Thief.”

“Still,” Shadow-Thief piped up. “Nice try, kid.”

“I’m going to be sore for days,” Jawbreaker said, speaking less gruffly now than he had during the exam. “I wasn’t expecting children to go all out like that.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I haven’t been hit like that in a while.”

“At least you got to put up a fight,” Nauseous said. “I got taken out early.”

“Wimp,” Kamuy taunted.

“Can you all not…?” Raptor said.

“Settle,” Aizawa growled. He looked over the class again. “As we told you originally, in addition to the three-tiered priorities for passing the exam, we were also scoring you individually. You’ll all receive more detailed feedback after All Might, Midnight, and I have had a chance to compile it, but for now, we’ll be providing a basic evaluation of your exam performances.”

There was a collective gulp from the class. Even Koharu felt a chill go down her spine.

***

Worried looks passed through 1-A, dreading the criticism that was surely going to come from Aizawa. Koharu had only known him a short amount of time, but already she could tell that he did not suffer fools gladly and was quick to point out any flaws he found. Judging by how fearful 1-A looked… she was going to assume it did not get any better with time.

“Aoayama,” Aizawa began. The glowing boy stiffened in his seat. “Nothing exceptional in your performance, but no glaring weaknesses either. You made decent use of your Quirk to try and counter your foes.”

“Merci,” Aoyama said, looking relieved.

It was short lived. “However,” Aizawa went on, “check the arrogance. When you were out the search and rescue teams, you lost valuable seconds arguing with your teammates. If you have something to contribute, offer it. But don’t automatically assume you know better.”

Aoyama looked down, but nodded in response.

“Funny, that’s not how I remember it when we used to team up, Eraser,” Vice-Principle Midnight said, giving him a teasing nudge with her elbow.

“I seem to recall some choice words as well,” All Might said, wearing a grin that might have best been described as “shit-eating.”

“That’s not the topic of discussion,” Aziawa said. “Moving on.”

He made a show of shuffling his papers. “Since we have two Iidas in the class,” Aizawa went on, giving Vice-Principle Midnight a significant look, “we’ll begin with Sora.

“Overall, impressive tactical thinking in the early stages and excellent teamwork throughout. When the shooting started, you did a good job taking command of the situation and put yourself at risk for your teammates. Commendable.

“But you twice allowed yourself to become distracted and vulnerable because you were worried about your boyfriend.”

“That’s when I got you,” Jawbreaker said. “And I’m not exactly easy to miss.”

Sitting next to Sora Iida, Midoriya turned a bright shade and sunk low in his seat.

“They’re dating?” All Might gasped. “Young Grandson, why did you not tell me about this?!” Koharu wouldn’t have thought it possible, but Midoriya turned even redder.

“Sorry, Grandpa Might,” he squeaked.

“Heroes in relationships are more common these days,” Midnight said. “But with a handful of exceptions like Suneater and Nejire-Chan, they typically don’t work together, for just such a reason. I’m all for young love, but do keep it in mind, children.”

At this point, Koharu was wondering how Midoriya’s chair hadn’t caught on fire. Sora Iida looked nonplussed by the whole thing, occasionally shooting curious glances Midoriya’s way.

Still, Koharu understood the flying girl’s worry. Midoriya had been knocked under a collapsing building and no one had been able to raise him. He could have been hurt or worse. That he’d just been pinned down with his patched together communicator unable to get a signal out was nothing short of a minor miracle.

“As you say,” Sora Iida said. “Thank you.”

“As for you, Tensei,” Aizawa continued, “you demonstrated overall good sense and teamwork, and a willingness to sacrifice yourself for your teammates. You kept your head about you.”

“He still went down when I got ahold of him,” Jawbreaker added. “All that speed doesn’t do anybody any good once somebody grabs you.”

Tensei nodded. “I shall endeavor to improve. Perhaps some sort of shock field through certain points on my armor…”

“It would be difficult to properly calibrate the strength of it though,” his sister said. “Especially since you could not anticipate enemy resistance in advance and under such circumstances, it would be difficult to manipulate precise controls.”

Both twins made a “Hmmm” sound and looked like they were about to burst into more discussion. Aizawa cut them off. “Moving on,” he said. “Ojiro.”

Next to her, the invisible girl stiffened and shook. On her other side, Sato took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“You did well,” Aizawa said. “Good use of your Quirk, good support of your classmates, and good, if unorthodox, thinking when fighting Kamuy.”

“You’re creepy, kid,” Kamuy growled.

“Continue focusing on your skills and teamwork,” Aizawa finished. “And know when to back off. Your stunt against Kamuy ultimately worked, but it also severely hampered Todoroki and Kaminari’s ability to support you. If Aoyama and Tokoyami hadn’t arrived when they had, you could have had trouble.”

“Yes, Mister Aizawa,” Ojiro replied, actually sounding serious. Koharu hadn’t known her long, but she hadn’t really expected that of her.

“See, Kimmie” Sero said, leaning forward and looking her way. “Nothing to worry about.”

“As for you, Kaminari,” Aizawa said, and Koharu looked to the back row, where the blonde was sitting next to Mineta, “while you proved effective during the majority of the fighting, with good use of your Quirk and Support gear…

He sighed wearily. “Victory dancing? Really? Never let your guard down like that.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” Kaminari replied, her Cords drooping. “In my defense, I really thought she was down.”

“That kind of overconfidence will get you killed, Sweetie,” Vice-Principal Midnight said. “As it was, it nearly cost your class their win.”

That got a gasp. And there was a lot of hurried talk and in the case of Kirishima-Bakugo, a lot of swearing. It wasn’t until Aizawa activated his Quirk that they silenced again.

“Had any of the objectives not been met,” All Might said, gravely, “we’d be having very different conversations right now. As it stands… we decided the two things canceled each other out well enough.”

“Understood,” Kaminari said, very quietly. Mineta gave her a small hug, but Kaminari pushed her away.

“It wasn’t even good dancing,” Kamuy added, which earned her a glare from a couple of the others.

It wasn’t fair, in Koharu’s opinion. But in the real world, that kind of slip up would have absolutely been fatal. And even she was boggled by Kaminari’s early declaration of victory.

“Kirishima-Bakugo,” Aizawa began, clearly eager to move on.

The muscular blonde girl sat up a little straighter in her seat. “Bring it, teach.”

“You acquitted yourself well in straight-up combat scenarios and demonstrated a measure of tactical thinking,” Aizawa went on. “But your first instincts continue to remain all out, full-frontal assaults. Those aren’t always going to work.”

“Worked well enough on this guy,” Kamuy said, giving Jawbreaker a nudge.

“Shut up,” Jawbreaker snapped back.

“Worked so far,” Kirishima-Bakugo said, flipply. “But got it. More thinky, less blasty.”

“I could have told you that,” Todoroki, who was sitting on her left, said.

“…Maybe tell me those things earlier, Iz.”

Aizawa’s attention focused next on the rock-skinned girl sitting next to Aoyama. “Koda, you made good use of your Quirk and demonstrated excellent teamwork with your classmates.”

“Thank you,” Koda said.

“Unfortunately, your combat skills are often not as aggressive as fits the situation. While I respect your desire to cause as little harm as is necessary… there are times where that’s simply not possible. Restraining your opponents won’t always work.”

“Sometimes,” Jawbreaker added, “you just have to hit someone.”

“I shall keep that in mind,” Koda replied.

“I thought you performed admirably, Mademoiselle Koda,” Aoyama said, making a dramatic flourish with his hands.

“Now, Sato,” Aizawa said, obviously determined not to get derailed.

Next to Ojiro, Sato just buried his head in his hands. “Oh no, here it comes.”

“You were one of the few to be able to properly approximate how Kamuy’s Quirk worked, and you were able to use that you your advantage, so good job there. And you had creative application of your Quirk when you faced her the second time, as well as good teamwork with Ojiro. In the future, however, you may want to put more work into combat options that don’t require the use of your Quirk.”

It took a minute for Sato to realize he wasn’t being yelled at. “He said you did good, Kenta!” Ojiro squealed. “Get your head up!”

“Th—thank you,” Sato said, nodding rapidly. “Thank you, sir.”

“Shinso,” Aizawa said, and Koharu could have sworn that there was something just a little warmer in his voice when he said the same compared to the rest. She remembered how he’d cheered for the purple-haired boy when they were watching the exam. Just what was the relationship between the two of them?

“Excellent teamwork and good use of your Quirk,” Aizawa said. “We did have some concerns you weren’t giving it your all, but you eventually corrected.”

A small smile pulled its way across Aizawa’s face. “And your… unique insights proved invaluable in supporting your team’s efforts. Good job. Work on bringing your A-Game right out of the gate though. Don’t just build up to it.”

“Got it!” Shinso bubbled, punching the air. “Give them the Smash right from the start!”

“As for you, Shoji,” Aizawa continued, looking at the tall, six-armed boy. Koharu was one hundred percent of a lesbian, but even she had to admit, Shoji was ridiculously good looking. No wonder Ojiro’s webshow—After becoming friends with her, she’d dug up a few old episodes—called him Class 1-A’s most eligible bachelor. Of course, she’d suddenly stopped doing that for some reason, but hadn’t mentioned why.

“You did well. Good fighting skills, good teamwork. Work on showing some greater initiative in planning and remember that you have options for long range attacks that don’t put you at as much risk in a physical confrontation.”

“Understood,” Shoji said with a small nod.

“Sero,” Aizawa began. The name had barely left his lips when the pink-skinned boy let out a terrified whimper and turned several shades paler. “Overall, good teamwork and good rescue work. You were especially effective against Raptor.”

“Damn tape,” the winged man growled. “Swinging me into that building hurt.”

“But watch your grandstanding. The correct response to finding out you’re fighting real Villains is not worrying about your hit count.”

Sero still hadn’t moved or reacted. It took Sato giving him a nudge. “Bro. You’re not dead.”

“I’m not?”

“You’re not. I’d tell you if you were.”

“Good.”

Once again, Aizawa looked as though he’d rather be anywhere else. He closed his eyes and appeared to be counting, judging by the slight movement of his lips. “Tokoyami.”

The glowing frog-thing, Frog-Shadow Koharu thought it was called, was sitting on Tokoyami’s shoulder. She perked up at Tokoyami’s name. “And me!” the thing declared.

Aizawa gaze briefly went to a corner of the room, where a yellow sleeping back, of all things, was sitting. He instead returned his attention to the bird-headed girl. “The first true victory went to you, so congratulations on that.”

“She got you good, bug man!” Kamuy yelled, slapping Nauseous on the back.

“Yeah, yeah,” Nauseous growled. “Rub it in, why don’t you?”

“I was planning on it.”

“As seems to be the common theme here, good use of team work and collaboration with your classmates. However… as difficult as it is to draw the line where you and Frog-Shadow end and begin, let’s focus on your own physicality and active participation in these battles. Being saved by your living Quirk is fine, but you cannot rely on that.”

“I shall keep that in mind,” Tokoyami said, giving a slight nod. “Or rather,” she added before Frog-Shadow could interrupt, “we shall.”

“Todoroki,” Aizawa went on, addressing the pale girl with the multi-colored hair. Koharu wasn’t quite sure how her ombré hair worked exactly, starting white but turning red the further out it got, but given that her own hair matched the pattern of her wings, she wasn’t sure she was in any position to question it. “Your overall performance was excellent.”

“Indeed,” All Might bellowed, interrupted him. “Young Todoroki was very much the MVP of the exam! You proved invaluable in multiple Villain confrontations!”

“I merely did what I could,” Todoroki said demurely. “I only regret that I was unable to better protect my classmates…”

“That is unfortutnate,” Aizawa said. “But sometimes inevitable. In the meantime, you demonstrated excellent use of your Quirk and good overall thinking and teamwork. Continue to work on your endurance and you’ve a bright future ahead of you.”

“Would it be possible to have that in writing?” Todoroki asked. “I would like to make sure my mother is aware of these facts.”

“Geeze, more jokes, Iz?” Kirishima-Bakugo asked. “You’re on a roll today.”

“Yes,” Todoroki said, her voice carefully neutral. “A joke.”

“You’ll receive your written evaluation later,” Aizawa reminded her. His voice turned protective. “But by all means, do invite your mother to visit if she has any… concerns.”

In the front row, Haimawari squirmed uncomfortably as Aizawa focused his attention on him. “Haimawari, your overall performance was positive. If not for your efforts, the class would have failed the primary objective. You also proved your strategic worth against Jawbreaker and your combat powers against Raptor.”

“That was your plan?” Jawbreaker asked. “Good job, kid.”

“I was supposed to give you a chance,” Shadow-Thief added, “but I didn’t expect you to catch up. You could be faster than Inegnium someday.”

Aizawa stared the lanky boy down. “You’ve raised my expectations of you, Haimawari. I’ll be looking to see you step up to leadership positions again.”

In spite of the praise, Haimawari looked a little pale. “Ah, okay, got it. Thank you, sir.”

“As for you, Midoriya,” Aizawa continued, “if you keep hitting up against a wall and keep bouncing off, what do you do?”

“If you’re this kid, you keep on doing it,” Jawbreaker said with a laugh.

“Maybe… not that?” Midoriya tried. “It’s kind of my go to move, but it really wasn’t working so well. And there wasn’t a lot of room to do some of my bouncing tricks like Gran Torino.”

“At least,” Aizawa said. “You recognize it. You’ve got a lot of power and a lot of techniques, work on developing them. We can focus on some options for when your usual strategies don’t cut it. Additionally…”

“Yes, Mister Aizawa?” Midoriya said, in response to Aizawa’s trailing off.

“In the next team exercises in class, you’re not allowed to take charge or formulate plans unless your teammates have also come up with plans. I think we’re all very aware how much of a leadership role you’ve taken. And while those skills are desirable for a Hero, we can’t have your classmates becoming complacent.”

“He is right, Young Grandson,” All Might added.

Midoriya nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “I’ll… do my best to stick to that.”

“See that you do.” Aizawa looked down at his notes on the podium, then up at the class. He looked back down again, as though he was making sure of something and made a pained expression. Finally, he looked back up.

“And Mineta,” he said. “As is becoming a pattern for you against live opponents, you demonstrated solid tactical thinking when provoking your opponents into a trap or otherwise keeping their focus on your mouth instead of what you’re doing. I would tell you to be less…” He gestured vaguely.

“Ah, you just gestured at all of me,” Mineta said.

“Exactly. I’d like you to be less you. Except that it seems to be working.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It would be illogical not to encourage you to continue using those skills, not matter how distasteful.”

“What Eraser is saying,” Vice-Principal Midnight added, “is continue to own it, girl! If I was still active in the field, I’d snare you for a sidekick in a heartbeat.”

At that, Mineta actually blushed, something Koharu hadn’t been sure was actually possible. “Y-yes, Vice-Principal. T-thank you.” Koharu was extremely sympathetic though. The Vice-Principal’s expression was enough to set her own heart aflutter.

“Continue to work on battlefield discipline, however,” Aizawa corrected. “As useful as your… talents are, there is a time and a place.”

“Got it,” Mineta said. “Time. Place.”

“And Kocho.” It took Koharu a moment to realize Aizawa had said her name. The others of 1-A turned to look at her. “Overall, good analysis of how you’d participate against the exam Villains. Though you did forget about Shadow-Thief, just like the rest of the class, so I can’t fault you for that entirely. But good analysis overall, especially for someone not currently in the Hero Course. I’ll be expecting good things of you when you join the class for the training camp and for the next term.”

“I knew it!” Midoriya shouted.

“Way to go!” Sero said.

“Good job!” Sato added.

“You did it! You did it!” Ojiro said, practically bouncing in her seat. Cheers went up from some of the others, like Haimawari, and even those of she didn’t really know, like Shinso.

The celebratory moment was short lived. One of the Villains, Jawbreaker, spoke up. “So… that’s it then?”

Aizawa nodded. “The exam is over and the students will be returning to their dorms after this.”

“Then,” Raptor said, “I suppose we just wait for the police, then?”

All Might gave Aizawa a surprised look. “Just what did you tell them, Aizawa?”

“He said we had to beat the kids if we wanted early parole,” Shadow-Thief snapped. “I knew it. I knew I should have run when I had the chance… just taken my chances and run…”

“I can’t speak for these idiots,” Kamuy said, “but I’ll go quietly. I gave my word and I keep it.”

“What’s a few more years?” Nauseous said, shrugging.

“It was a logical ruse to get the most competitive edge out of you,” Aizawa said. “Once you’ve returned to your respective detention centers, your effects will be returned to you and your releases will be processed.

Koharu wished she could say she was surprised. Even already knowing that Aizawa had misinformed the Villains somehow, she hadn’t expected that. But given what she was learning about the man, along with the dirt that the Voice and Deku had spilled on him, she really, really wasn’t surprised.

“You bastard!” Shadow-Thief snarled, and had to be restrained by Kamuy and Jawbreaker. She probably could have escaped easily if she’d wanted to, but it seemed her heart wasn’t in it, as she let the other two push her back down. “I thought I’d lost my chance…!”

“Guess I’m going home,” Raptor said, leaning back in his chair and smiling.

“You’re definitely a bastard, Aizawa,” Jawbreaker said. “But I have to say… it worked.”

All Might just shook his head. “Dirty pool, Aizawa, dirty pool. Let me apologize on his behalf.”

Jawbreaker waved a hand in the air. “Honestly, I figured he was bullshitting us. It was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. But I figured it was a worth a shot.”

All Might just shook his head. “One of these days, Aizawa, these “logical ruses” of yours are going to backfire…”

“Haven’t yet.”

Being in Class 1-A, Koharu thought, was definitely going to be an experience.

***

“Okay, everybody,” Midoriya began, “if I could just have your attention for a minute?”

Unfortunately, Class 1-A (and Kocho, who’d been invited to celebrate with them) were too busy celebrating their exam victory to notice. After the exam, they’d pooled their money—Izumi had offered to pay for the whole thing, but they’d insisted it come from all of them—and ordered pizzas (and shakes for Kocho), gotten the stereo going, and turned the dining area into a party spread with other snacks and sodas.

It had been close out there more than a few times, but Isamu was glad he’d been able to be a part of it. Of course, now Aizawa was expecting bigger and better things from him, on top of having already raised his profile at the Sports Festival, so that was a lot to live up to. And there was still the training camp on the horizon. They had a departure date for it, but no other details. But those were worries for another day.

He did wonder how the other Hero Courses were doing. 1-B was supposed to be taking theirs this afternoon, and 1-C in the evening. Kana had promised she’d let him know when they were done though, so he was anxiously awaiting that text. 1-B didn’t have as many “heavy hitters” in it as his class did, but they had a lot of variety and a lot of potential for teamwork if they really tried at it.

“Guys?” Midoriya tried again.

“If everyone could give us their attention for just a moment?” Tokoyami tried, with no success either.

“HEY! LISTEN!” Frog-Shadow shouted, from her perch on Tokoyami’s shoulder. And that did get everyone to shut up.

“…Thank you,” Midoriya told Frog-Shadow, before looking around at the class.

“Anytime!” Frog-Shadow said, giving him a thumbs’ up.

“As I was saying,” Midoriya continued, “everybody did great out there. There’s not a one of you I’m not proud of. Not that I was worried for a minute, but we really showed how we could come together when it really matters. So absolutely, let’s celebrate! We earned it!”

Isamu joined with his classmates in cheering, though he thought Kaminari looked like her heart wasn’t in it, despite everyone having told her that they didn’t blame her for almost causing them to fail the exam. He could see the electric girl had taken the criticism to heart and he doubted she’d do anything like that again.

He’d talk to her later if he had the opportunity. They weren’t exactly friends, but they’d gotten to be friendlier over the term, especially when he’d burned a few copies of some of his mom’s lesser known CDs for her. And they both agreed that Double Pop was a cheap rip off and not an homage, no matter how hot Mineta insisted they were.

As the cheers died down, Izumi spoke up. “I have already told my parents about our passing the exam,” she said. She sounded pretty happy, as far as he could tell. Izumi was a fairly reserved person, but even he could see the pride in her victories today. She deserved it, completely. “They send their congratulations to all of us. They have also extended an offer to the whole class—and you, Kocho—to join us at our island vacation home before the training camp.”

He knew Izumi’s family was rich. But all the same, he couldn’t help but blurt out, “You have an island vacation home?”

Kirishima-Bakugo smirked at his surprise. “They have their own island.”

That did not do anything to take down his surprise. “Of course,” he said. Visions of the costs of plane tickets and island prices and everything else immediately tampered down any enthusiasm he would have had for going. Not all Pro-Heroes were rich, of course, but with the right endorsements and even a modest amount of success, they could be very well off. That was not his family. They did well enough, of course, but he wasn’t anywhere near the same ballpark.

Really, between the Iida twins, Izumi, and Mirdoiya alone, the amount of yen in the room was staggering. It did very little to quell his feelings of inadequacy. But he could see Kocho doing a very good job of concentrating on her drink and a pang of sympathy overrode anything else.

“Of course, since it is the Yaoyorozu private jet and hotel, it is all expenses paid,” Izumi went on.

“As long as we’re back in time for the I-Island Expo,” Midoriya said. “Dad’s going to be busy, but the Aunt Meslissa and the Togata kids are all going, and I’m going with them.”

“We’re going too!” Sora Iida piped in. “Mother is presenting several new inventions and Father will be there as well, representing the family.”

Tensei Iida looked over at his boyfriend. “I will insist upon you being allowed to come,” he told Sero. “It is only fair, since my sister’s boyfriend will be there.”

“Double-date vacation with our Iida squeezes, Midoriya?” Sero said. “It’s all moving so fast! We’ll be in-laws before you know it!”

Midoriya turned red at that. “Maybe… maybe not that fast!”

“Toshi,” Sora told him, leaning in, “I think he is joking.”

“Or am I?” Sero laughed, giving himself a double thumbs’ up. Ojiro reached over and gave him a smack on the shoulder. “Ow! Go easy, Kimiko!”

“Stop making Midoriya a nervous wreck! You’ll ruin my ships!”

“You can’t call it a ship when it’s real people, Kimmie,” Sato said, looking faintly embarrassed at his friends.

“You’re going too, right, Haimawari?” Midoriya asked.

“I, ah, yeah,” Isamu said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. He still needed to find a suit before that happened. As the first year winner of the U.A. Sports Festival, he’d gotten an all- expenses paid invitation to the Expo. It would be the furthest he’d ever been from his home in his life. Still seemed like way too much attention on him, but Hero-Society really did like to have people it could celebrate, it seemed. “Hadn’t had too much time to think about it, with the exams and everything.”

“You get a plus one, you know!” Mineta yelled. “You should totally take Kana!”

Isamu let out a squeak. “We’re really not ready for that!” he said quickly. “Really!”

“Take me then?” she asked, pouting. “Shinji’s still grounded and I’ll be so lonely…”

Nope, nope, nope, get away bad thoughts!

“We should be able to return in plenty of time,” Izumi said, answering the question and thankfully ending any conversation with Mineta.

“Are you sure it’s okay if I come?” Kocho asked. The tips of her wings flicked about as she talked. “I mean, I’ll have to ask my parents to begin with, but you all barely know me.”

Boy, did he know that feeling. It definitely summed up how he’d felt at the start of the term. But now he had good friends here, and even got along with pretty much everyone else. He still sometimes felt like an outsider, but with people who’d literally grown up together, that wasn’t completely surprising. But he definitely no longer felt like an outsider.

“You’re going to be in 1-A,” Midoriya said, smiling. “That makes you family.”

“Welcome to the crazy house,” Kirishima-Bakugo said. She made a sweeping gestured. “I’d say you get used to some of them, but, well…”

***

It’s the next morning, Saturday, and most of the class was out and about, some of the couples spending time with each other, some enjoying a day of much deserved rest after the exams. A few had even gone home already in preparation for the upcoming trip. They’d had one of the biggest tests of their lives and they’d passed.

So why couldn’t Chihiro bring herself to celebrate?

Maybe because she’d nearly ruined the whole thing. Not just for herself, but for everyone. She’d barely passed her other exams. As much as her mom often told her to “dig down deep and find the genes I gave you,” Chihiro sometimes had to admit… she just wasn’t that smart. Book learning did not come easily to her. So she’d poured everything she had into being a Hero. And with her new costume, she’d actually started finally getting good at that, overcome the limitations of her Quirk and started thinking a little bit smarter there.

And in one fleeting taste of victory, she’d done something stupid and started celebrating.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. One of the first basic rules of Heroing. Never, ever celebrate until the Villain was either unconscious or in a police car. She’d been so damn sure their combined power had been enough to put Kamuy down.

She’d been wrong.

And everyone had nearly paid for her mistake. Sure, they said they didn’t blame her. And she even believed them. Well, she believed everyone but Kirishima-Bakugo. She’d never actually said it, just grimaced and nodded along when the others said it.

It didn’t mean she didn’t blame herself.

In retrospect, being alone in the common room with her thoughts probably wasn’t the best thing right now, no matter how much she didn’t want to be around other people. Of course, if she really didn’t want to be around other people, she would have just stayed in her room. Instead, she was sitting on the couch, strumming on her ukulele. Maybe, just maybe, a little music would take her mind off of everything. She hadn’t had as much time to play as she’d like this term, but maybe she could get back to it.

She was definitely bringing it on the trip to Izumi’s island. Islands practically called for ukuleles. Also, she just liked the word ukulele. This one in particular had been a gift from her dad. It even had a small inscription. “Just write “I love you, Chihiro.’”

The doors to the outside flew open and in walked someone she really didn’t want to deal with right now: Shiro Monoma. If he said one word about anything—never mind how he’d have found out in the first place—she knew she’d throw hands and Cords. And then she’d probably get in actual trouble.

He had bolted through the doors like he’s gathered up all his courage for an important mission, but now that he was inside, he just looked a little confused. He even pulled his phone out and checked something on it—probably his text messages.

“Mika’s not here,” she told Monoma flatly. Mika had said something about how he was having a rough time lately, but honestly, he got on her last nerve often enough that she wasn’t sure she cared. “Pretty sure Koda’s upstairs though.”

How someone as nice as Koda was put up with the likes of him and Aoyama, she had no idea.

“I, ah, yes, good,” Monoma said, looking both awkward and uncomfortable under her gaze. She must have stepped up her intimidation game. Maybe she’d actually see how this played out. “I… heard you all passed the exam?”

Of course. Why did she think it was anything else? “Come to gloat?” she snapped, pointing her Cords at him. Sparks danced along their tips.

He put a hand to his chest, offended. “Gloat about what?”

“You don’t know?” She carefully set her ukulele down in its case on the table in front of her and stood up. She waved her arms through the air as she ranted, her Cords mimicking the gestures. “You’re not just bullshitting me, so you can insult me? Mock me? Mock poor stupid Kaminari who nearly danced her way into failing the exam?”

Crap. She said too much.

Monoma’s expression softened, though she could also see some kind of comprehension dawning too. “I assure you,” he said, crossing the room so he was standing across from her, “that I meant to do no such offenses. It’s not my place to do so anymore anyway. At least you’re still here. It sounds like you still deserve your spot.”

Wait, what? “The hell does that mean?” she demanded. Dammit, he needed to stop looking like a kicked puppy. It was making it incredibly hard to be mad at him!

“I’m leaving U.A.,” he told her. Chihiro’s Cords jerked up in surprise. “I’m… I’m not cut out for this. My Quirk’s not good enough. I’m not good enough. I only stayed long enough to help my class pass the exam. Which they did.”

Okay, seriously, what the hell.

“I, ah…” she began, uncertainly. “They throw real Villains at you too?”

Now it was his turn to be surprised. “…Your teacher really is insane.” She didn’t disagree. “Super-Ball got some of his Pro-Hero friends to play the part. Dirtbreaker, She-Panther, Silver Stalker, the Human Rocket, and Microwaveabelle. They’re all fairly minor and low ranked… but they gave us all a pretty good fight.”

“Betcha Shinso could have told you all about them.” She did genuinely like the little guy. Their dads were friends, so while they weren’t close, she was certainly more than used to his quirks.

“Yeah,” Monoma agreed. “He probably could have.” Chihiro recalled that his dad was friends were Shinso’s dad too. She seemed to remember the two of them had even been closer, once upon a time.

“But you’re quitting?” she asked. As much as he tried to brag or claim his class was better than theirs, she couldn’t believe it.

“My mind’s made up,” he said, quietly. “Please don’t try to talk me out of it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she said. “But like I said, Koda’s upstairs if that’s who you’re looking for.”

He hesitated, then looked down at her ukulele. “I didn’t know you could play,” he said.

She shrugged. “I’m not nearly as good as mom. But I do all right.” She realized he was looking at her expectantly. The curse of the musician. As soon as you admitted you could play, people wanted to hear it.

With a sigh, she picked it up and sat down, using her Cords to indicate that he could sit too if he wanted. He took up a spot on the couch opposite her. She took a moment, then launched into the cords of a positively ancient song and couldn’t help but launch into song, in English.

“I see trees of green and red roses too

I'll watch then bloom just for me and you

And I think to myself

Oh, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue, clouds of white

The brightness of day, the dark, say goodnight

And I think to myself

Oh, what a wonderful world…”

She stopped when she realized he wasn’t just watching her, he was staring. Hard.

“What?” she asked.

“I’ve never actually seen anyone play music up close like that,” Monoma said, actually sounding impressed. “At least, not live. Video is one thing, but up close and personal… it’s actually rather breathtaking.”

Okay, Monoma was dishing out compliments instead of insulting her intelligence. This was obviously a Monoma from an alternate universe where he was nice. “Think you could copy it?” she asked. “You’d probably make a good musician that way.”

He shook his head. “I could copy the motions, but I wouldn’t have the heart for it you do. Or the kind of conditioning in my fingers you have. I’m honestly really impressed. You’ve got real talent.” There was an undercurrent of “and I’m jealous” to it, so she took some pity on him.

“It take some work,” she said. “But anybody really can learn. You learn the chords, you put them together, one after the other, they turn into music. Same for every song, just broken apart and put together in different ways and speeds.”

Monoma’s lips were moving, but no sound was coming out, as he seemed to be processing what she’d said. He suddenly bolted from his seat. “That’s it! Like music! Not like shots from a quiver!” His eyes were wild and Chihiro slowly and deliberately put her ukulele in its case so she could stand up.

“I’m going to tase you if you don’t start making sense!”

His expression still maniac, Monoma continued. “I could string moves together into a symphony of fighting! I’ve been treating moves like separate weapons, to be used and discarded! I can combine them!”

“Uh… good for you?” she tried. Should she be calling someone here? Was he having an aneurysm? She could probably always defibrillate him, but she was pretty sure that wasn’t the right medical procedure.

His eyes were shining and maniac still, when he focused them on her. “You’re brilliant, Kaminari! Thank you!”

In a burst of speed, he was at her side, his arms wrapped around her and holding her tightly against him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” His lips pressed against her cheek for a moment, a long moment, separating with a wet, smacking sound.

Reality seemed to settle back in. He stared at her, then bolted towards the door. “Thankyouagain,Ihavetowithdrawmywithdrawl,Ineedtogonow!”

Chihiro stood there for a moment longer, before she flopped back onto the couch, her legs suddenly weak. Her fingers touched her cheek where Monoma had kissed her. “What… what just happened?”

***

Mika had made herself scarce from the 1-A dorms and was hanging out with Anime in hers. As was expected, her friends’ dorm walls were completely covered in posters from various manga and anime, most of which even the biggest otaku would find obscure.

Her phone buzzed. Earlier, she’d sent a message to Shiro, telling him a “mutual acquaintance” was feeling depressed and maybe he could go by and cheer her up. He was depressed, she was depressed, it was the perfect plan.

She checked her phone.

Cute Ex: So I’m not quitting. Got a really good idea when I was at your dorm building. Had a really good conversation. …I may have kissed her. Things got happened and I got passionate.

Mika smiled. That was fast. Really fast, actually, given the parties involved. Good for Shiro and good for Akaya. Her friend needed it. And Shiro would be way better for her than Aoyama, if he ever figured out that he was clearly crushing on Akaya.

“It worked!” she told Anime.

The animated girl squeed happily. “I knew it! Just like I Set Up My Best Friends (Because I Could)!”

Cute Ex: I hope this doesn’t make things awkward.

Mika was about to respond that of course it didn’t, this was her plan all along, when she saw more dots indicating Shiro was still typing.

Cute Ex: Because now I might actually ask Kaminari out. Not just because of the kiss. But because I discovered she’s actually fascinating. I know it sounds crazy, but…

She didn’t see the rest of the text, as the phone dropped from her hands. “Anime, we’ve made a terrible mistake.”

#my hero academia #their hero academia #Koharu Kocho #isamu haimawari #chihiro kaminari #shiro monoma #mika (tha)#fan fiction #fan fic #my writing

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eightlivs · 4 years

Text

24 August 2020

I’m getting the hang of that CAD program. Fucking command line bullshit. Give me macros instead and I’ll be happy.

Anyway, now that I can actually do some PROPER work, we’re getting busy checking and re-checking things before we order or machine the more customized parts, which means a lot of simulation testing and triple-checking our work.

That’s not the most important thing right now, though.

I just finished something that I’ve been working on for a while, and right as my beam time request got put through at Brookhaven, no less. (I put in a beam time request for another collider to run an experiment for me. Ended up not going with SLAC. Turns out I had some strings left to pull at Brookhaven’s laboratory, and hey, all the better, because their collider is better suited for this kind of work.)

Oh, it feels good to be running experiments again. Even if they are a pain in the ass sometimes.

Anyway, a quick rundown, since this IS technically a report log: I’m simulating my OWN collider with a computer program called an event generator, while comparing the simulations to real results. Check this out:

That’s a graph showing how many photons were found at a given energy for the first simulation.

But you know what I’m realizing? I’m going to need a monumental amount of testing to get anywhere, and - well, I’ve got to do it all by myself.

This is... um. This is going to take a long time. Last time, setting up and analyzing runs enough to get new information wasn’t even something we’d gotten to yet, and that’s with an entire COMPANY at my disposal. Unless I’m ridiculously lucky, this may take years even AFTER THE COLLIDER IS BUILT.

I don’t want that. Fuck. Fuck. I’m tired of this. It’s one fucking thing after another, isn’t it. Windows and Linux workarounds, C++, MC formats not working, more MC formats not working, more workarounds, python not working, compilers not working, incorrect variables, run after run after run of incorrect programming, fucking VERTICAL DATA instead of HORIZONTAL like FORMAT YOUR SHIT RIGHT PLEASE, and collider bullshit, and collider setbacks and - I JUST - FUCK.

...okay.

Okay. Hmm.

It’s fine, all right? I’ve just been programming for too long. My eyeballs feel like they’re going to roll out of my skull. The amount of work that it takes just to program, analyze, troubleshoot, and reprogram a single event generator run is not small, okay? We’re talking hours or days PER RUN. And, I mean, it kind of sucks that I can’t tell anybody about this - they’d think I was bonkers. It makes you feel kind of weird, knowing you’ve only known anybody on the whole planet for a period of less than two years.

But, you know, back to the grind. I’ve got more work to do. Catch you all later.

Oh, before I sign off, I’m updating my experiment record - it’s that little link at the right, under the OFFLINE status. The one I just finished working on is tests 12A-D - yes, 12, it’s taken me twelve groups of runs to get this fucking thing right.

I’m going home.

Footnotes: Oh wow. Okay. It may not look like it, but I’ve been working on this since APRIL. That graph up there? That’s not something I found or made up. It’s an actual graph of results from a real simulation run with an actual collision simulator.

One of my fave things about this blog is that it’s based on REAL science, and it’s challenged me to learn new things. I knew Liv was going to have to start doing collision experiments at some point, and I naively ignored the fact that she’d be getting, you know, RESULTS - until I had the idea to simulate them myself. So I installed the program over the course of a week or two - it’s not very user-friendly in a non-programmer type of way - and I’ve been experimenting with it on and off since April. I ran Liv’s final test results last night, which is what you see up there. One thing: I cannot claim any of these results are actually sensible; I am, after all, literally self-taught, and I am not actually a physicist!

Pretty cool, huh. The program I’m using is called PYTHIA - it’s what is called a Monte Carlo event generator. Each particle interaction result is called an “event,” and Monte Carlo refers to a mathematical method of using algorithms and random sampling to get results. It’s really useful in this instance because there’s a level of probability-guessing that has to be done when figuring out what a particle - or particles - will do. Particles are very all-over-the-place little things, so randomness helps simulate that.

Brookhaven National Laboratory is a real thing! They’re based in NY and they have a collider called the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider, or RHIC. RHIC results in some really GORGEOUS photos, like the one here.

#afhcreports #into the spiderverse #olivia octavius #science???

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transgenderhelicopter-blog · 4 years

Text

Let me down

I used to be afraid of Darkness, I would wake up screaming in my bed, trying to find the nearest light. I could not breathe, the Darkness took me for many nights. I learned to embrace it...

I am a good for nothing, which literally means what it says, good-for-nothing.

I am the product of a broken economy, unemployment and most of all, procrastination.

Somewhere along the way I lost the spark that lights our passions and it was replaced by the hole of despair. I am not willing to change things anymore, I just want to-

This is a work of fiction, but for me it means more than that, this is my only way to express what I truly feel, I don’t expect this to make sense, I just need to let it all out and maybe this will reach someone who will resonate with my words. I am afraid of putting my true feelings on paper, I am scared to be judged, to put the costume away and let all to see what lies beneath.

Yet it is something I must do.

Sometimes to feel the light we need to take our masks out. This is my bare Self.

“When was the last time I left my house?”

I would ask myself this many times throughout the week, I could never remember.

The trash was starting to pile up in the kitchen, the food was running out and the stink of my armpits was becoming unbearable, but none of that mattered to me anymore. I had nothing, nothing to lose as well, I just had to pay rent and utilities and that meant 30 more days with a roof, simple and efficient-

No. It doesn’t feel right. Let me try again.

Ok I’m back I just had some rice.

Eating that rice made me think about one quote from Lao tzu, I am not going to quote it but basically talks about water, how water gives life to everything in the planet yet it claims no ownership on any of the creatures it gives life to, you can step on water yet it will not react in any manner, water is everywhere. This really enlightened my conception of God (This just real I know). Growing up I was always told God loved me and had a plan for. How he was everywhere and loved everyone. As a kid I took that as a fact coming from my mom but not only until I entered my twenties I started to really look into it and give that blurred idea of God more definition.

My conclusion? Well I don’t have one, but I got something better, a core idea of God (just to clarify this is my perception and yours is as valid as mine, something which I will explain later.)

Drum rolls please! (Now you imagine the cool drum roll noise, thank you)

GOD IS BOTH GOOD AND BAD.

Say what? But I thought God was a source of eternal love and he had a place in heaven for me?

Well yes, but no. By that I mean God does love you, but also he doesn’t. Confusing right? Well I have an imaginary doctor that looks like Einstein that will explain this with fancy words, Doc if you might?

“Why of course my dear colleague, allow me to clarify the previous statement. What my dear friend means is that technically good and evil are not really true concepts, to illustrate this I will ask you dear reader to think about temperature.

Many would say the opposite of cold is… Hot!

But it is not as simple as that, in my colleague’s perception hot and cold are just a lack and abundance of temperature, they both belong to the temperature realm, they are not opposites, they are quantities of temperature. You wouldn't say a kilo of rice is the opposite of twenty kilos of rice would you? Well the same can be applied to actions to some extent. Now this is not to be taken as an excuse to become a murderous machine shielding your actions with this idea, only a fool would do such a thing, this is why “technically” is such a keyword.

Societies do have good and evil, and depending on your society you may have slightly or even quite different conceptions of them. You have a moral compass, which will make you feel bad when you do something “evil” and good when something “good” has been done. But these are just human representation or more accurately, creation. Now back to my colleague thank you for listening to this old man’s rumbling”

Wow that was boring. Anyways back to what I was saying, again this might not make sense at all but honestly and too deep to stop now and I am having a blast doing this.

So if God is everything why is he not associated with the bad stuff? I asked my friends one simple question, what is evil? Their answer?

“Imagine that God is a candle, the closer you are to the candle the more light and warm there is, but if you go far away you won’t feel that right? Evil is the absence of God.”

Clap, clap,clap.

That was good man, I liked that response quite a lot. But that's just a pretty response, I am at the same point before asking the question. God is everything right? So how can there be any absence of everything? See what I mean? My answer?

God is.

That’s it. Do with it what you want.

Next!

Let’s talk about love (Yay!) more specifically unconditional love (ugh).

My take on this is I don’t believe in unconditional love, we love things or people because of the things they do or have that benefit us.

“Bu-But my girl is like the most loyal and she loves me no matter what and I asked if she would leave me for George Clooney and she said she won’t!”

Good for you mate!

Anyways I had a weird upbringing which led to me being a weird person. (Who would have thought right!?)

And that’s it for the love section! Brief and underwhelming just like me in bed!

Now that the bed joke is finally taken out of the way let’s continue shall we?

Now on a more serious note, many of us feel It, I call it It because I don’t know how to call it, and in all honesty It sounds hella cool. But yeah, it happens, you relapse, things fall apart and everything lose meaning, you go to social media and are bombarded with smiles and people having the time of their life, what I am saying is not new, heck many of you might have heard the same thing on social media, which is so ironic but whatever. I am not gonna tell you things are gonna get better or worse, because I don’t know shit, but I can tell you that the only constant in life is change for the good and the bad, so if you are in at the bottom of the hill know that it won’t be forever and if you are on top of the mountain the same applies. That is.

NOW IS TIME TO TALK ABOUT ME YAY!

Ohh I love talking about myself, don’t we all? I could talk hours upon hours about myself and never get tired!

I have so many fuck yous to say but not enough time sadly so we’ll skip that!

I was raised by a single mother (Can I get a round of applause for them?)

In a country with a broken economy but an amazing quality of life, I still haven’t met my father and I don’t know if I’ll ever will, I wrote him but he left me on read (fuck him).

I have a half sister, her Dad ain’t mine but I took his last name, the guy was loaded and a drunk with psycho issues, so a lot of screaming at home which I am pretty sure messed me up because every time someone screams at me weird shit happens.

And that’s it for now, I don’t want to bore you guys but know that I have a lot to tell!

Next!

POLITICAL VIEWS

This is gonna get spicy!

So what am I? Am I a republican? An anarchist? A democrat?

Honestly dude, I am just me, do I have opinions on how a country should be run?

Of course!

Am I educated enough to convince people on how a country should be run?

I’ll let you answer that one! (the answer starts with an N and ends with an O though)

Do I think the people educated enough are doing a good job? Well just look at the news and it is quite clear.

My views? Equity, equal opportunity, racism is a no no. (Pretty basic huh? Well it’s only three things but we haven’t achieved a single one in thousands of years so you tell me)

AND NOW THE CLOSING PARAGRAPH OF PART ONE

This started as a cry for help, a hole in the balloon filled with despair and honestly, the balloon is gone, I feel so much better. So thank you Untitled Document and slowed down music compilation.

And yeah maybe I’ll continue this in more detail or maybe I won’t but for now this will remain a short story, with that said, See ya later alligator!

#ayylmao

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nobodyfamousposts · 6 years

Text

Missing - Part 2

Please leave a message after the tone.

*Beep!*

“Marinette, where are you? You said you would be spending with your friends, but It’s late and you have school tomorrow. If you want to spend the night with Alya, you know your father and I are fine with it, but you need to tell us first. Just call us back as soon as you can. Love you.”

*Beep!*

“Girl, you had better have a good reason for bailing on us yesterday! I don’t care what is going on between you and Lila, but that was no excuse to stand us up! You need to get over this beef with Lila, she has done nothing to you. You’re supposed to be better than this, remember? You’re not like Chloe.

I’ll be going to your house after school and we are going to have a talk because this? This just can’t continue. I’ll see you later.”

*Beep!*

“Psst! Mari, it’s Nino. I wanted to give you a heads up, but Alya looks furious and it seems to be at you. I’ll try to cool her down, but I don’t know what happened and it might help if you let me know your take. You know how she gets sometimes. Call me back!”

*Beep!*

“Hey, Marinette? This is Adrien. I noticed you weren’t in school today and just wanted to make sure you were okay. If you need anything, please call and let me know.”

*Beep!*

“Hello, Marinette! It’s Rose! I know you’re probably very busy and that’s why you didn’t come yesterday. No worries, I’m not upset! I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was okay. I just noticed you’ve been a bit down lately. Or maybe it’s because of whatever has you so busy? Anyway, if you need help, I’m only a phone call away. Bye!”

*Beep!*

“Marinette, it’s your dad. Where are you? Your school called and said you never made it in today. Your mother and I are worried. Please call us back and at least let us know where you are. We love you.”

*Beep!*

“Marinette, are you okay? You weren’t in school yesterday and now Alya is saying you never went home? That’s not like you. We all really care about you, so please, just let us know you’re all right.”

*Beep!*

“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but it won’t work. All you’re doing is making it easier for me. I hope you realize that.”

*Beep!*

“Hey, it’s Juleka. Where are you? Your parents are at the school and they seem pretty worried. They’re asking if we know where you are. Did you get into a situation? It’s never taken you more than an hour to respond to a text or call and some of the others said they’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.”

*Beep!*

“Marinette, it’s Alya. If you think you’re being cute or funny, you’d better stop and come clean now. Your parents are calling the police and naming you a missing person. If this is a joke, I’m never speaking to you again.

I just…you’d better be safe. And if you are, let me know.”

*Beep!*

“Hey, Mari. It’s Nino. Look, I don’t know what happened, but I hope you’re okay. A bunch of us are getting together to try to look for you. So if you get this, just call any one of us. Though it might be best to reach your parents first.

Just hang in there.”

*Beep!*

“Listen, it’s Alix. We know something’s happened and we’re all out looking for you. If you’re in a bad situation, just call or text us a location and we’ll be there guns blazing before whoever’s messing with you can blink. Just reach out to us however you can.”

*Beep!*

“Marinette. It’s Alya. If this is about what I texted earlier, I just want you to know I didn’t mean it, okay? I was just angry. We can talk things out and I’ll…try to listen better this time. Just please tell me you’re safe.”

It had been four days since the official announcement and there was still no sign of Marinette. Regardless of any issues or conflict, she was their classmate and they wanted to help in the search for her. Sabrina had been a good source of information given her father’s role with the police, though the information they had at this time was limited.

Marinette was gone. Her parents had contacted the police and named her a missing person. Law enforcement officials were currently keeping an eye out for the girl. But at this point, that was all they knew.

“Maybe we can help look for her ourselves?” Rose suggested earnestly. This would help in the overall effort of hopefully finding their friend, or at the very least would cheer them up and allow them to feel useful. “We know her pretty well. So what if we look around in areas we know she’s been or would be and see if we can find anything?”

“We may not be necessary.” Lila replied smoothly in a way that seemed to ease the other class members but made Adrien suspicious. “She already has multiple people looking out for her. We would just get in the way.”

“Hey, we’ve been through a lot together already from akumas to natural disasters and akumas that cause natural disasters.” Nino replied with a grin. “We’ve made a difference then and we could be the difference needed now.”

Adrien smiled at that, as did others in the class. Count on Nino to stand up for his friends and encourage everyone to coordinate. Honestly, if Marinette hadn’t gotten the position of Class Representative and more than proved her capability for it, Nino certainly would have been his second choice.

“There’s nothing to worry about.” Lila replied with a smile. She brought up her hand to her mouth and spoke more lowly, as if sharing a secret. “I didn’t want to come out and say it, but I’ve already spoken with Ladybug and asked her to personally look into the matter. It’s why she’s been seen around Paris so often lately. I’m sure this will all be taken care of soon.”

At that, the others in the class seemed reassured with the knowledge that their local hero was involved.

“Wow Lila, it’s great that you were able to get Ladybug involved!” Alya said, appearing cheerful.

Lila smiled. “Well, we are friends. And of course I wouldn’t want anything to happen to Marinette.”

Adrien frowned. Yeah, no. He wasn’t trusting her on that.

“Still, it wouldn’t hurt to have a few more eyes and ears out and about.” Adrien spoke up, causing the others in the class to turn to him. “Ladybug and Chat Noir are good at fighting akumas and helping with problems, but that’s if they know about them. Sometimes, we’ve had to be the ones to send out word to let them know there was a problem.

Max nodded in agreement, much to Adrien’s relief. “Even if they’re already on the case here, there’s every chance we could come across something they haven’t yet. More people can only be beneficial."

“Yeah!” Alix cheered. “Besides, it’d be better than just sitting around here and waiting.”

The others agreed, given the lack of anything else they could do about the matter at this time and resolved to aid in the search the next afternoon.

To Adrien’s joy, the rest of the class was on board and they worked on making plans to search for Marinette. They agreed as a group to attempt to look around the city in hopes of finding anything that could lead to her. Lila, unsurprisngly, wasn’t too happy with the plan but put on a smile and played as though she was completely on board. Alya seemed reluctant to believe the seriousness of the situation, but still resolved to try to find her friend regardless. As such, the class worked out a plan to start a search that afternoon and agreed to split off into teams to cover more ground.

Adrien, by some matter of cursed luck he was sure, ended up in a team with Lila—who seemed more interested in milking her time with him and remained clinging to his arm. She kept playing up the “fearful girl” act, going on about how if Marinette was missing, maybe something was targeting young girls and oh she was so terribly frightened! Sadly, his other teammates were of little help in the matter, as Kim simply smirked at him and gave him the thumbs up sign like he was cheering him on for something while Max was working with Markov to run possible statistics and compile a list of places Marinette could be.

He was about to resign himself to an afternoon of feeling uncomfortable and experiencing numbness of the arm until a flash of red out of the corner of his eye attracted his attention and a glance upward revealed a certain spotted heroine surveying the city from a rooftop.

Ladybug! What was she doing out here?

Actually, that made him pause, considering. If he needed to be searching anyway, he could cover much more ground as Chat Noir. Plus he could tell his Lady of the situation and they both could search together! With the two of them on the case, surely they could find Marinette!

And it would get him away from Lila. Though a part of him said he really shouldn’t be as happy about that as he was. That was drowned out by the rest of him that really wanted her to stop touching him.

He ended up only feeling slightly guilty for the poor excuse he gave before rushing out of view to transform and join his Lady. He still fully intended to help in the search, it was just going to be from a better vantage point.

She loved the sky.

Why had she never noticed before?

Maybe it was because she never got to fully enjoy it due to the akuma fights. But here and now, just being allowed to stop and take it all in, it was like she was really seeing the world for the first time.

It was especially lovely at night.

The stars were amazing, though a shame the lights made them so hard to see. She loved getting to see the city like this, though. Those very lights may have made seeing the stars difficult, but they had their own kind of charm, she thought. It was like looking out over a sea of stars.

But everything was so much brighter and vibrant during the daytime. Color everywhere. The variety of flowers. Birds singing. Seeing the people going about their lives.

It was calming. Peaceful.

Why didn’t she get to see it this often? The clouds, the sunrise and sunset, the subtle ways the color shifted as the day continued that made her want to do…something with her hands to recreate it.

Maybe she should take up painting?

Well, she needed to find something to do with her free time now that she wasn’t just here when summoned. She had thought about taking advantage of her current situation to try to search the city for Hawk Moth, but without an akuma to try to trail, there was no way to even know where to start looking for him. So she took to patrolling the city instead, keeping an eye out for any butterflies or other strange activities. She had to be diligent, after all.

But oh, how her hands twitched to do something, and no amount of swinging around Paris or tricks with her yo-yo seemed to ease them.

There was a feeling of discontent she couldn’t ease. And a growing urge to do…something but she didn’t know what.

“Ladybug! Hey, LADYBUG!”

The shouting brought her out of out her musings. Turning towards the source, she found a Chat Noir waving his hands and calling to her as he leapt towards her. He looked upset for some reason. Was there an akuma?

She paused and allowed him to catch up to her. “Chat Noir, what are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same of you. Can’t a simple cat come by and greet his Lady?”

Ladybug wasn’t moved, nor was she feeling particularly inclined to share her current state of confusion. “Did you need something?”

He blinked a bit at her abruptness, but decided to let it go in favor of a more important matter. “I’m helping out in a search.”

That sounded serious, she noted. “Has something happened?”

Chat Noir nodded. Now that he had found Ladybug, he just needed to explain the situation and soon enough the two of them would join the search. He was almost bouncing with anticipation.

His friend would no doubt be found soon.

“Marinette has been missing for the past three days, it seems.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Who?”

That gave him pause.

“Marinette?” He asked, sounding uncertain though Ladybug didn’t know why. “Marinette Dupain Cheng?”

Her expression didn’t change, and whatever excitement he originally had seemed to wilt. “We’ve helped her before, remember? You had me protect her from the Evillustrator. And then there was Befana, Gamer, and Glaciator.”

Ladybug shrugged. “She doesn’t stand out. Though she seems to have been involved in a number of akumas.”

He raised an eyebrow at that. “Seriously? She’s been a big help before.”

“Chat Noir, we can’t know everyone in Paris by name.”

He looked away, uncertain. He couldn’t really argue the point as it did make sense. Still, it did seem a bit off. He could have sworn it seemed like Marinette and Ladybug at least knew each other. If they weren’t friends.

And he would have sworn they were.

“Maybe you should. I’m sure the two of you would get along. You have a lot in common.”

She was far from impressed at the thought. “I’d hope not, if she really has been involved in so many akuma attacks.”

Chat frowned at that, not particularly happy with the criticism of his currently missing friend. “She’s a good person.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” She said, altogether unconcerned.

He wasn’t pleased, but he didn’t argue further. It would just turn into a conflict and likely make her less inclined to assist.

“Well, she’s disappeared and nobody knows where. I figured we could help out in the search for her.”

“But aren’t the police already involved? We shouldn’t interfere.”

His frown grew at that. This was really not how he imagined this conversation going.

“Are you sure she didn’t run away?”

He blanched. “Of course I’m sure! Why would she?”

She sighed—sighed! What was going on with her? “Chat Noir, we can’t presume to know people’s lives.”

“She wouldn’t run away! Marinette’s not like that!” Chat insisted, growing more frustrated.

“How do you know?” She asked.

That made him stop for more reason than one.

Because truthfully, he couldn’t know. He didn’t know what Marinette was thinking or how she was feeling. He knew certainly that she had been having some difficulty over recent weeks with the reappearance of Lila and her constant lying to everyone. He even knew that Lila herself seemed to have a grudge of sorts against Marinette. There was still that incident not too long ago where Marinette was forced to the back of the class. He felt bad, because she had seemed pretty upset by that and no one else seemed to notice. Maybe that had affected her more than he thought? Maybe there was more going on in her home life than he realized? He didn’t know. He really had no way of knowing for sure that she wouldn’t run away.

But what he did know of her screamed otherwise with all the ferocity he normally reserved for battle. The very thought made him want to rear back and hiss. She wouldn’t run away. She couldn’t have. Marinette was strong and strong willed. Despite the issues he knew of that had been going on lately, Marinette wasn’t one to run away.

But he couldn’t tell Ladybug any of that either. She’s made it clear they need to keep their civilian identities hidden. And as much as it irked him to keep that part of himself hidden from her, he at least understood why. He knew she wouldn’t run away precisely because he knew Marinette and the kind of person she was. He knew her both as Chat Noir and as Adrien. Even if she acted differently between them, he still thought he knew her well enough. But he couldn’t tell Ladybug without revealing his relation to her. He wasn’t supposed to risk anything—not his identity and not any possible relationships or ties he may have.

He wanted to groan in frustration. Times like these, the secret identities were more of a pain than anything.

“She’s been through a lot as it is. She’s strong and determined. She’ll stand up to bullies and liars and always faces her problems head on. She’s kind and has many people who care about her.” He stopped, realizing just what he was saying. “Or so I’ve been told.”

Ladybug raised an eyebrow incredulously. “Chat Noir, are you having a relationship with someone while in the mask?”

He froze. His mind went blank for a moment before forcefully rebooting and realizing what she had just said and how this could appear.

“What—no! I’m not in a relationship with her! I just—she’s a good person and I really think we can help!” He insisted.

She hesitated, and seeing this, he chose to press on.

“She’s a good person, and as heroes, isn’t it our job to help people in need?”

“I don’t think we should interfere with the police investigation.” She stated firmly, but seeing his forlorn expression, something in her relented. “However, I will keep an eye out during my patrol and I’ll let you know if I happen to see her.”

His ears perked at that and he grinned widely. “Thank you, Ladybug! That’s all I can ask for.”

“I can’t promise we’ll find her.” She reminded him.

“But we can at least try. Thank you.”

“If we’re going to keep an eye out for her, we’ll need to know what she looks like.”

He blinked, startled. “Oh, right! Let me get a picture.”

With a couple of simple clicks on his baton, he sent Ladybug the picture he had of Marinette. He watched her expression to see if there was any sense of familiarity, but she only glanced over the image and nodded. There was no recognition there. No realization of who Marinette was. Maybe she was right? That Marinette was just one out of the many citizens of Paris and she couldn’t recall them all. Still, something bothered him about that and continued to bother him even after they parted ways.

How strange that she didn’t even know who Marinette was or what she looked like. It was somewhat unnerving that she didn’t even seem to recognize the other girl despite being the one to point Chat to her in the first place. Well, Chat-him, at any rate. She didn’t know about Adrien-him or that he would already know Marinette from his civilian life.

But Chat didn’t think much of it. He was so relieved to have Ladybug agree to help. They would find Marinette soon enough. He had no doubt!

Looking back, maybe he should have.

Soon enough, she and Chat Noir parted ways with the agreement that they could cover more ground that way. Ladybug was honestly grateful for the time to herself. She would certainly try to keep an eye out for any missing persons or strange activities, but something was nagging at her and she wanted to ease the growing headache she was feeling because of it.

She had been making progress on lessening the ache until she again heard her name being called.

Looking down towards the source, she found a couple of teenagers waving their hands and calling to her. Oh, they were from that school. That akuma-attracting class, she believed. And they looked upset for some reason. Was there an akuma? Or something else?

She swung down to meet the duo. They looked familiar and thinking back, she recognized them as the civilians that had become Lady Wifi and Bubbler. Alya Cesaire and Nino Lahiffe. Alya ran the Ladyblog. Both were generally a good source of information and had a strange tendency to end up in the middle of akuma attacks.

“Has something happened?” She asked, looking between them.

The students looked nervous. No, worried.

“It’s a friend of ours. She’s gone missing and we’re trying to find her.” Nino explained.

“Missing? Wait—do you mean that Marinette girl?”

The two nodded, appearing relieved.

“She went missing a few days ago.” Alya informed her. “Marinette was supposed to meet us at a cafe and never showed up.”

“I see. Did you have contact with her prior to that?” Ladybug asked. If she at least had a timeframe to look at, that could perhaps be a starting point and narrow the search. Though three days was admittedly long enough that she could be anywhere.

Alya started glancing through her phone. “We had texted each other a bit before then, but there reached a point where I was sending her texts and she just stopped responding. I thought…” She hesitated.

Ladybug frowned. “You thought…?”

The other girl hesitated, appearing anxious. “There was something of a disagreement. And when she didn’t show up at the cafe, I just sort of assumed it had to do with that.”

“I see.” Truthfully, she did, and not in a good way. It almost sounded as if the girl might have had cause to run away after all.

“Still, is it official? Are you really on the case then?” Alya asked, appearing excited at the news.

“We aren’t taking over the search or interfering in the police investigation.” Ladybug clarified. “But both Chat Noir and I have agreed to keep an eye out for her just in case.”

The couple seemed pleased with that. Like a weight had been lifted.

“We knew you would be willing to help.” Nino said with a smile. “We shouldn’t have been surprised since Lila said she had already told you about it.”

Here, Ladybug tilted her head in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Nino blinked in surprise at her response. “Lila Rossi. She’s a friend of yours, isn’t she?”

“Yes!” Alya chimed in. “She told us about how you met! She even told us how you carried an ear plug for her during the Chameleon incident! It was great that she was able to get your help on the search!”

None of this was familiar. She knew nothing about anything either of them were saying and couldn’t help the growing frown. Was she forgetting things? It felt like she was, but even so…

This rang false.

“I’ve encountered her more times when she was akumatized than I have her civilian self. My only interaction with her was when I confronted her on telling stories about a relationship with me and claiming to have the Fox Miraculous. Just doing either of those things is dangerous, but claiming both would surely make her a target, regardless of how untrue they were.”

Alya froze, smile strained. “What?”

“I’m sorry, but it seems you may have been misinformed.” Ladybug stated, holding her hands up in a peaceful gesture. “Aside from her multiple akumatizations, I haven’t had any interaction with her. Other than when she became Chameleon, the last time I had any involvement with her was when she was Volpina during the Hero’s Day battle.”

Nino blanched. “Wait—you mean the illusion of you and Chat?”

Ladybug nodded. “It was most certainly another of Volpina’s tricks. I’m almost positive she was also the one who created a false Hawk Moth for Chat and I to face so he could attempt a sneak attack.”

“But…that means she had to have been in Paris that day.” Nino pointed out, looking to Alya in confirmation.

Alya’s grip on her phone tightened. “But she was supposed to be in Achu meeting with Prince Ali.”

“I don’t know anything about that.” Ladybug said simply. “But I can say with certainty that she was present for that battle.

“Then…how did you know about Marinette?” Alya asked, almost seeming to be reaching for something that wasn’t there.

“Chat Noir informed me just an hour ago. Prior to that, I didn’t know anything about this.”

Nino swallowed thickly. “N-nothing at all?”

“You haven’t spoken with Lila at all?” The Ladyblogger appeared to be growing desperate for something. Though for what, Ladybug wasn’t certain and no matter her answer, she couldn’t seem to give her what she was hoping for.

Ladybug thought back. Funny, she could swear she felt a dislike for this girl, but her encounters with her were minimal at best. “I haven’t spoken with her since immediately after she was restored from being Chameleon, and that conversation was brief.”

“A-about her tinnitus?” Alya asked, sounding hopeful for some strange reason.

��I wasn’t aware she had a disability.” Came the offhand response. “She seemed to have little difficulty getting up and down the tower on her own.”

Both Alya and Nino appeared to be growing more tense. Nino kept glancing to Alya in something like worry, while Alya appeared to be trying to hold herself together.

Ladybug glanced between the two, noticing how they both only appeared to be getting more agitated. But she was uncertain how to proceed or what specifically to address. And that nagging feeling and headache from earlier was returning with a vengeance.

“I’m sorry, but I really must be going.” She told them. “I’ll be patrolling the area for a while yet, so I’ll see if I can’t keep an eye out for this Marinette in the meantime. If there is anything else you need?”

Neither of the two said anything. They simply shook their heads in response.

“Then bug out!”

With that, she let her yo-yo fly and took off. She didn’t know what either of those students had been trying to achieve or what they had been seeking from her.

But there had been something in Alya’s expression that appeared heartbroken.

*Beep!*

“…Marinette. Alya again. I…I spoke with Ladybug. She’s been swinging around the city more the past few days and I was able to talk to her.

She...didn’t know Lila at all. And she pointed out things that I…hadn’t really considered previously. I…really need to talk to you. So if you get this, please call me back.”

#ml fic #miraculous ladybug #tales of ladybug and cat noir #missing #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #chat noir #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #lila sucks #missing au

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hertestimony · 5 years

Text

My first 1.5 months as a school counselor

Wow, what an amazing first several weeks it's been.

But before I get into it…

I received my NYS school counselor certification in May 2017. In March, I compiled an extensive list of over a hundred schools. I started to cold call them, briefly introducing myself, and asking if they had or were expecting any vacancies for a school counseling position. I knew that the NYC DOE (Department of Education) was not hiring school counselors due to a hiring freeze, but I still went for it. And as expected, I heard barely anything back except from a couple principals who let me know they would keep my resumé on file.

I continued this for the next couple years. I cold called, I found out which DOE schools had vacancies from current employees, emailed schools my resumé and cover letters, which, by the way, took a long time to tailor to each school's job requirements and mission/vision, and applied to all charter, private, and independent schools as vacancies opened up (which were not many). During this time, I worked on and off as a private tutor, Registered Behavior Technician (RBT), after school teacher, and a HR/CSR Representative at a homecare agency.

In August of 2019, I interviewed with an insurance company. I went through three 1-hour interviews that all went well, and I had a feeling that I would be offered a position.

At the same time, I had an interview with a public specialized high school in the city for a school counselor position. At the interview, the assistant principal repeatedly told me how much their school needed someone like me, and how despite the hiring freeze, she will try to figure out how to find a spot for me there. Wait. Did I just get an informal offer??

I received a call from the insurance company, and was offered a job, and about 15k more than my position at the homecare agency (my latest salary position). It was a big improvement in salary, the work would teach me some "real world" professional business things, and the team supervisor seemed to be an understanding and kind person. But, I wanted the school counselor position. It had been two weeks, however, and I had not heard back from the school. The insurance company gave me a couple days as a deadline to accept or decline, and I felt extremely stressed out.

Do I accept the insurance job, tell them I can start in two weeks, and wait for the school's response? Will the insurance company give me two weeks before I start? What if I start, and the school asks me to come in again for a 2nd round interview? How can I take time off when I've just started working? Do I decline the offer, and risk not getting the school position either?

So many thoughts and options flooded my mind, and I felt overwhelmed.

As I knelt down and prayed, I simply kept telling God I wanted to fully trust in Him and believe that He will provide the perfect job for me. I admitted that I had no idea what to do. During these few hard days, a good friend reminded me not to settle for less when God is capable of giving me the best.

On the day of the deadline, as I prayed about what I should do, I felt strongly that God was telling me to decline the offer, and I sobbed because I was afraid. But, at the same time, I felt peace in my heart. I emailed a declination letter, thanking them for offering such an amazing opportunity.

The next day, I received an email from the high school.

She wrote that I interviewed well, but would not be offering a second interview.

My heart sank.

I sat in the car with the same friend who had encouraged me not to settle. As I told him the news, I cried. I went home that night, and cried some more as I prayed.

The next day, my heart was filled with peace. I knew that I had made the right choice.

10 days later, I had a phone interview with an elementary school in the South Bronx. The interview went really well, but I didn’t think much of it because of all the past rejections and also because I wasn’t all that excited to work in the Bronx.

Soon after, I was invited to an on-site interview where I would have to deliver a demo lesson. I adapted a lesson plan I had already created for a prior interview, and didn’t even take time to test out my demo.

On the morning of the interview, I complained to my mom that I didn’t want to go, and debated whether I should turn down the interview last minute.

On the train, I realized I hadn’t prepared one of the materials for the lesson plan. I took out a big pair of scissors and started to cut away, shoving paper scraps into my bag.

After I got off the train, I rushed because I was going to make it just on time, and not the recommended 15 minutes earlier. When I made it to the door, the security guard asked me to wait because they were having a fire drill. As I waited for about five minutes, I was able to catch my breath and observe the school students and staff as they filed past me.

As I sat inside, waiting for my interviewers, I realized I had not prepared any end of the interview questions. Wow, I was not prepared for this interview - my heart wasn’t fully in it.

Perhaps because I wasn’t so nervous, I was able to be myself during the demo lesson despite there being a student on the spectrum who refused to follow directions and do my lesson plan activity. I handled the situation as best as I can (good thing I have experience as an RBT!). I passed the demo lesson with flying colors. The three interviewers took turns praising me for what I did well, and not one said anything negative. I was smiling from ear to ear, and just kept saying “Aww, thank you so much.” After answering a bunch of questions, I was given papers to fill out. Then, the HR director told me that the principal wanted to meet me. I was taken aback at how quickly this seemed to be progressing.

As I left the principal’s office, she suddenly stopped me and asked me to go with her to another office, where she introduced me to a few people.

I left thinking that I might have a really good shot this time.

Two days later, after two and a half years of rejections and tears (and a lot of growth, too!), I finally heard the words I’d been dreaming of.

I texted every family member and friend who had supported, encouraged, and motivated me during this time. How grateful I was to God not only for the job, but also because I had so many people to share my joy with.

The job that I have right now was prepared for me well in advance, before I even got certified. God spent more than two and a half years molding me and disciplining me to fit right in and serve where God has been working. After six full weeks. I have not a single negative thing to say about my job. I love my students. I love the staff members I work with. I love the 4 hour round trip commute. I am also great at what I do not because of anything I can do or who I am, but because God has been preparing me all these years to know what words to use, how to react to certain things, how to work with certain students and parents, how to deal with students with disabilities, etc. (I worked as a private tutor, Sunday School teacher, summer school teacher, after school teacher, day care teacher, RBT, etc. for 10 plus years.)

There is simply so much grace poured upon me in every single counseling session, every situation that I’m involved in at work, and meetings with parents. For example, one student who has not opened up to any adult in the building can’t stop talking when he’s with me, and he even frolics into my office to say hi. Another example is that the students who staff members have much difficulty handling (and have to call in the parents) do an exceptional job when they’re in my counseling groups. Every single parent who I have called so far in order to get consent for me to see their child (due to at-risk behaviors or simply needing a little extra support) has given me permission despite some of them not having given permission in the past to other counselors.

This is amazing grace.

This is my faithful and good good God pouring His love onto me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, God!!!

And this is just the beginning. I’m so excited for the things to come - to continue to see what God is doing in my life, and in the lives of those around me.

#school counselor #christian #christian blogging #educational resources #God's grace #grace upon grace #KoreanAmerican #blessed #thankful #i got a job #career search #interview #discipline #God is good #Jesus loves you #lifestyle blog #testimony #real life #long reads

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

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Primez!

hell yeah thankyou!!! [2, 5, 17 been answered]

(3) maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

i’m that theatre gay who’s never Really been in any theatre production. and there was an archery place like 10 min from where i grew up and i was like “ooh archery how cool” b/c i’m a gay but never tried it

(7) amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

hardly unheard of but i Don’t Like the approach to astrology that ppl have been getting in the past few yrs like. the Joke someone on twitter had that we’re like, on the verge of some astrological discrimination lawsuit……..and idk ppl get like pseudo-christian-style Smug about it like, don’t apply this to everyone??? and it’s just strange to like. tell people what they’re like. or explain their characteristics via this really strange westernized vague concept of astrology rather than like, tell me about the life experiences that affect the way that you are. like it’s almost condescending and ppl are being way too serious about it sometimes in (see: the on the verge of the lawsuit thing lol)…..anyways and i guess some of my Killjoy tendencies make me like, haha i’m the Hater b/c idk i’m real opinionated. but a lot of the times it’s not Really b/c i hate other’s joy or some shit, it’s just crap along the lines of like, “these ideas abt love which are meant to be Very Romantic actually strike me as being the Less ideal interpretation of love between people and the potential therein? and colder? and unhealthier / more unpleasant / not as nice / etc etc etc as my ideas on romance which i guess seem like i’m wanting to just shoot down some Lovely Concepts but i’m like. that doesn’t seem lovely. i’m on the very of launching into another essay abt Isolation Isn’t Romantic and Romance As Very Human And Ordinary And Even Mundane Seems A Lot Better Than The More ~Magical~ Approach and did i mention romance should be the Opposite of isolating and yet it’s so taken for granted sometimes that you’ll know it’s True Love when you [bass boosted DIE FOR EACH OTHER] and stop giving a shit about anyone but this one other person and etccccccccc [me screaming for hours]”

and a lot of times things that i guess are would-be Cute / Charming / Wholesome / Positive / Etc start to grate on me if i have to see it too much and i’ll probably end up hating or resenting it but like, not because i hate happy stuff, but b/c it just like. is like, i like things to be Genuine, and it will just feel like this is Performing genuine…ness………..which i don’t like. b/c it’s being Not genuine to try to appeal on the grounds that it’s genuine? yknow. which also extends into the realm of “i hate this Cute music over this cute animal video. don’t tell me how to feel about it” and when something tries to be Surprising in the realm of like, pseudo-dissonant like. oh this is a cute harmless white girl on the ukulele but she just said “fuck” and “std’s” or some crap!!! whaaaaaat!!!!! like, i hate this actually? can i die

i could give a ted talk just showing vines that make it into plenty of people’s compilations and being like “this is why this vine is Not Funny (Enough)”

(also i do sometimes hate Having Fun. doge speak was so awful. of Course gop congress adopted it briefly in its original heyday. even now i hate the derivatives. i’m not about to rb something that contains the word birb. can i die)

also i think star wars is boring. i think cargo pants are fun and fine.

(11) orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

we get confirmation that any Winston Footage is filmed for billions s5. soph i know that like, fitting in almost 3 hrs of subway travel / going into nj and back / probably having to do all this on a weekend / having like a 5 second window maybe makes it difficult but we all agree it’d make another epic gamer moment if you got to see lihn

(13) bonfire - describe your dream house.

lol being in my teenz in 2008 i haven’t thought about it much tbh. i think i’d like a pretty cozy (smallish) bedroom and just a lot of physical Niches yknow. i like to frequent very specific spots which are not too out in the open. and really everything would be kinda Cozy Smallish but not the kitchen. get some space there, and like, raised counters like for julia child being 6′2″ b/c Standard Height is not comfortable for me either at my tender 5′11″ or 6″ness. and i always think that those sitty spaces that are like, Depressed into the floor are fun. i know there’s a word for that, but whatever. there’s a bunch of very disparate color schemes i’d think i’d like, so like, idk if i’d just go for totally different Aesthetic Approaches from room to room to try to cover all of them lol

(19) pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?

i mean i think it’s more important to recognize that anyone is entirely capable of Doing good or bad, and arguing about what they Truly Are In Their Hearts is beside the point. but i also think the idea that like oooh if Polite Society crumbles enough we’ll all just be roving in bloodthirsty packs, looking to kill each other and loot / probably eat the corpses, etc etc ~dark gritty bold~ apocalyptic material that’s like wow yeah that’s really confronting the Uncomfortable True Nature of society. like, capitalism is already a brutal and inhumane situation to exist in, but it’s not some emergent expression of Human Nature like, oh, life is just like this, empty and alienating and unfulfilling unless you [physical violence b/c it is Genuine], or that people would turn on each other if we were in survival mode, like…..no. survival mode always entails helping others to survive like. yeah not for necessarily Every individual? but that’s just more of anyone’s capacity to Do good or bad. but humans as a species are not solitary, we’re social b/c that’s how we all exist in relation to each other, society is innate to us and not some Luxury that distances us from our True Natures. we communicate with each other and want to work together even beyond helping each other survive and want to connect to each other and total / imposed isolation is Bad for anyone. and i think that love and altruism are Human Nature too. like, it’s weird when it’s treated like some evolutionary mystery why humans (or individuals of other species) would exercise altruism and/or self-destruction (or the risk of it) for the sake of others? like “but it doesn’t make sense b/c for us survival means Passing On Genes, we protect ourselves and our ability to exist and procreate, and we protect those most genetically similar to us, down the line to favoring your most distant cousin over a random stranger,” etc etc What A Mystery Why We Are Altruistic!!! but it’s not?? like? we don’t just see ourselves as individuals and we recognize the self in the other, and that we are all just Arbitrarily the self that we happen to be, and are all The Other to everyone else’s Myself…..and why would humanity not Preserve itself beyond just individuals looking out for just their individual existence? we just like. don’t only prioritize the preservation of our own genetic code. why should it be a less Survivally Successful approach for any individual to look out for any other individual? of Course we give a shit about other randos who don’t have any familial or even any other personal connection to us at all b/c we just care about the survival of other humans.

anyways! no yeah so i think that Love and Altruism are intrinsic human nature. like creativity and communication. we aren’t like, always doomed to destroy each other b/c That’s Humans For You. denying the humanity in others inherently requires actually just reducing one’s own humanity, yknow??? re: human nature anyways. i know we’re all still technically human regardless of how we act. and that the self-destructive destruction of others is a feature of humanity, but i don’t think it’s one which is Inherent or Inevitable. i.e. the Self-Destruction thing. capitalism is out here threatening everyone’s existence and just so happens to require placing the Wealthy Few above the worth of the lives of all the rest, who are the cheap labor force rather than Just As Human as the richest. anyways. mostly Good! but the point is still that anyone can do Bad regardless so like, who cares if you have some good in your heart, bitch we all do.

(23) ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?

still a bit effed up on missing the theoretical concept of an in-person group of people who are consistent in genuinely enjoying / being enthusiastic about time spent with you. one reason it’s theoretical is that i’ve never Really had a whole in-person friend group exaactly. and it’s theoretical b/c idk, it’s not easy for me to feel comfortable Being Myself around others and like, i like being in groups as a rando amongst strangers really easily, but if it’s like, we’re all in a group and talking and stuff, i can just go into [stifled mode] real easily, idk, it’s hard to say whether the times i’ve been Uncomfortable in groups like that is just like, it not being the right people, or that i just will always like smaller groups or just one-on-one or smthing i dunnooooo. either way i get depressed about Wouldn’t It Be Nice though so idk? i guess i would still ideally seek it out. but i also can’t feel like i can actually expect this to happen. on a related note i forgot to mention Briony Atkins as this minor character who is very like me in being someone who is outwardly v withdrawn and quiet and comes across as not speaking b/c she has nothing to say but in reality she’s a passionate and boisterous person who just rarely shows / expresses it around others. i’m out here never talking (and getting the chance to talk aloud and it’s like a mile a minute all at once trying to compensate) and being pretty quiet and people get surprised when i have An Opinion even though i’m super opinionated lol and i just find it really hard to be myself around others unless i’m operating completely on my own and beholden to no one, but even then. anxious

#i'm Not being very cryptidly with all these............#Anonymous

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