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lavenderwhore444 · 3 years

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Ok so we all love pervert shigaraki ( Ik u do so please don’t lie to ur self love 😀) anyways what if shigaraki had a huge crush on the reader and steals there panties ( when there out in a mission working there ass off) but the reader notices and placed cameras in her room just to see who’s stealing them surprise surprise it’s ya boy shiggy and the reader finds it kind of cute that he’s that desperate but is also upsetting because there working and he’s here getting off on her stuff so.the reader catch’s him in the act and shows him the videos ( shigaraki at this point is crying from embarrassment and he’s begging for the reader to delete the videos) as a punishment the reader pegs the shit out of him and the ending is fluff since I do love shiggy

First of all English isn’t my first language so apologizes for any mistakes and for the ending please work ur magic sis

💍🧎🏻‍♀️marry me this is so good

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If you want to use interactive fics, it's easy and makes reading fics SO much better. First, you download the Google Chrome extension. You'll see it in the top right corner of your screen. Next, you enter your name in the first box. If you want to change something other than y/n, please click on the text that says “want to change something other than y/n?” here, you can change any word you want to a different word. When I talk about your quirk I will use y/q

Warnings: smut (obvi) shigaraki is a perv degradation a little I think #peg shiggy 2021 fingering for Shig 😌 humiliation??? Idk what to put man request says it all

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🌸 I have an irl on here rn because we both simp for crusty men, and she’s probably lowkey scared of me. I was drunk on having social interaction for the first time forever and was like, “omg, I write for them. I have Tumblr 🤪” Listen, I told you I would do anything for him, and I fucking meant it, ok? And he’s a little pervert, so they're kinda gross (indirectly making me have gross kinks too ig ☹️) Plus, I warned you about his piss kink, that should've been a good indicator to the rest of these 🙄 , Anyways anon has sent me THE BEST SCENARIOS OMG. I have read a lot of Shigaraki fics, BUT THESE ARE SO ORIGINAL IM SO HAPPY. There's one, in particular, I'm excited to write because it's just so cute, omg. 🌸

It was the fifth time this week. You were out on another mission, and Tomura was half-naked in your room on the verge of passing out from how many times he had cum into various articles of your clothing. It started off as just your panties. Perverted but not insane. As time went on, it only got worse. The panties weren’t good enough. He started putting one of your shirts over his face as he got off, and that worked...for a while. His next fix was to steal some of your perfume, but it wasn't good enough.

He felt disgusting the first time he got off in your room. He felt like he'd crossed a line (not that he hadn’t already), but it was the best orgasm of his life. What's done is done, so he might as well take advantage of the rest of your room. He was pretty comfortable now, face pressed into your pillow, inhaling your scent as his body spasmed for the last time. He was utterly spent.

And now, for the worst part, being in your room surrounded by your stuff, smelling your perfume, but still being all alone. It wasn't like Shigaraki had a crush on you or anything. Him having a crush on y/n? Unheard of. The rest of the girls in the league were like family to him. You two just weren't there yet, even though it had been five months, and he blushes whenever you talk to him. So what if he wants to punch Dabi whenever he looks at you? He wasn't in love with you. God damn it, he was just horny. That was it. That was the extent of his feelings, and they would go away.

They didn't go away, but more of your stuff sure did. It was becoming more common for clothing in your room to go missing only to end up clean and folded in the proper drawer. It was weird, but someone was doing most of your laundry for you. It wasn't Dabi taking your stuff. He could get his dick wet whenever he wanted. The other guys preached “don’t lewd y/n” and tried to fight Dabi when he put his hand on your thigh. Toga would steal your shirts but definitely not your underwear. If she did steal your clothing, she’d post a mirror pic and tag you in it.

So that left your boss. Tomura Shigaraki. You thought he hated you. He got all quiet and distant when you talked to him. Was he nervous? He glared at you and Dabi. Or was it just Dabi? Maybe the little creep did like you. He was kinda cute. His messy hair looked so soft, his eyes lit up when he won his games, Shigaraki had this little smile when he was watching the league sit together, and he had discarded father almost completely. But he was a creep, and you definitely didn't have a crush on him. Definitely not.

But part of you didn't want to tell him to stop. It took a while to cook up a plan, but it was foolproof when you came up with one. You found stole the money to invest in some hidden cameras. By now, you were starting to accept that you might like him just a little. But in a sad puppy kind of way. You didn't actually have a crush on him. Nope, not at all.

And it was kind of mean that he was making you do all this work while he got to jerk off in your bed. You'd come back with cuts, scrapes, bruises, and even a broken bone one time, just for him to totally ignore you. He had spent all day ruining your clothes and wouldn't even look at you.

Your behavior had changed towards Tomura, though, and he had definitely noticed. You were acting the same way he was. You were always blushing when you talked to him. You sat next to him while he played games, but it's "just because you're bored." Maybe you were starting to like him back. He had come to terms with his not-so-little crush on you. This didn't stop him from acting like a perv but still.

The cameras had been up for a while, and honestly, watching those videos back was way better than watching porn. Shigaraki looked so sweet and desperate. The way he laid in your bed afterward, holding your pillow, made your heartache for him. He just looked so lonely. You decided it was time to confront him.

"I'm going out for a couple days, guys!" you called, walking out with a backpack on your shoulder.

"I'll miss you, dollface," Dabi called back, blowing a kiss as you laughed at him.

The glare Shigaraki gave him could have dusted him right then and there. You stayed at a cheap motel for a while, watching the cameras. It was pretty nice to finally have some quiet. It didn't take long for Shigaraki to wander into your room with a raging hard-on. You took your time getting home, knowing he'd be there for at least a few hours. You glanced at your phone once in a while, catching two of Shigaraki’s orgasms. You’d hear a strangled cry and see his mouth wide open, eyes squeezed shut, and back arching. He’d coat his chest and your underwear in hot cum. You started to walk faster. Most of the league was asleep as you used your levitation quirk to float silently up the stairs. You opened the door.

“Who knew you were such a perv, Shiggy. All this time, I thought you hated me, but it looks like someone has a little crush on me, ” you said sweetly.

He looked like a deer in headlights, eyes wide as his body froze. A soft whimper left him as his face turned an angry shade of red that matched the head of his cock.

“N-no please, I'm sorry y/n I-i just didn't um ill leave. I'm so sorry, ” he muttered.

He got up, but you pushed him back on the bed.

“Not yet, Shiggy. I have something to show you, ” you said in a singsong voice.

You sat next to him, slinging your left arm around his shoulders. You pulled up the live feed.

“Aww, look at how cute we look right now, Shig, ” you teased.

His face told you that he was terrified.

“Y-you didn’t, ” he tried to fool himself.

“Oh, I did, ” you whispered in his ear.

You heard him sniffle. You slid the bar at the bottom of the screen back to show him what he was doing mere minutes ago.

“No, you can't, ” he choked as tears fell from his eyes, “please don’t show anyone y/n. Please I c-cant. I'm sorry, just don’t show anyone, ” he sobbed, “please don't. I’ll never talk to you again if you want I’ll do anything just don't show anyone, ” he cried.

“Anything?” you questioned.

“Anything, ” he nodded, still crying.

“Well, first of all, ” you said, “you can start by taking me out on a date, ”

He nearly choked as his eyes widened.

“What?” he whispered, wiping his eyes and nose.

“I said that you’re going to take me out on a date, and please use a tissue, ” you said.

He nodded and cleaned up his face the rest of the way.

“And second, you can take off your shirt and bend over the bed with your legs spread, ” you whispered in his ear, pressing a kiss just below it.

He looked confused for a second until his eyes widened, and he did as he was told.

“Now, don't play dumb with me. I know you’ll like this. I've seen you try and finger yourself before, but you did a shit job, and I promise this will be even better, ” you smiled, ruffling Tomura's hair.

He was getting more comfortable with you now, giving a nervous smile and humming when you touched his hair.

You walked back with everything you needed, only to sigh disappointedly, “oh Shiggy, that's not nearly wide enough. I know you can do better than that. Spread your legs more,”

He nodded, eager to please, and nearly did the splits. You giggled and smacked his butt. He jumped, causing you to laugh again.

“You’re so precious. It's a real shame I'm about to turn you into a slutty mess, ” you cooed.

He felt two slimy fingers press against his hole, and he shuddered. He tried to relax and let you press into him. It didn't take very long to get him moaning, bucking against your fingers. Two became three, and three became four before you decided he was ready. You were looking forward to eating him out, but this was supposed to be a punishment. You lined him up, rubbing the head against his hole that was still clenching around nothing. You pushed the entire thing inside of him as he screamed.

You scoffed, “do you know how many people you just woke up? Do you want the whole league to know you're getting pegged as punishment for being a disgusting, perverted slut? You want them to know that I'm fucking your ass? Huh? Do you? Cause I'll bend you over the fucking bar and show them who you submit to, ”

You started thrusting at a brutal pace. Tomura pushed his face into the pillow only for you to levitate him so he couldn't do anything to stop all the sounds coming out of his mouth. You were looking forward to all the looks you'd get as you smirked, and he struggled to sit next to you. You managed to go even harder.

“You’re not sitting or walking this week, Shiggy, ” you cooed.

“No, ” he choked out, “n-no call me Tomura p-please, ” he moaned.

“Tomura, ” you whispered in his ear, “pretty name for a pretty boy, ”

You reached around and twisted his nipple, causing him to cry out. Tomura only got louder as you reached around and grabbed his balls another hand-squeezed his tip between two fingers and pinched gently before jerking him instead. He was losing it now, tongue hanging out, and eyes rolled back. Little screams were ripped from him, and he jerked around.

“Y/n ‘m gonna, ‘m gonna cum, ” Tomura slurred.

“You gonna cum for me, Tomu? Go on, do it, ” you encouraged.

He cried out, his body going rigid as he shot cum out of his cock. He was gasping and panting as you let him flop down on the bed and pulled out.

“C-can you help me back to my room, ” he whispered, looking sad.

“No, ” you said as he frowned, eyes watering again, “because you're staying with me tonight. Get in bed, ”

He blushed and crawled into the corner. You yanked him closer, taking over as the big spoon.

“Goodnight, Tomura, ” you said. Kissing his back and shoulders, you rubbed his stomach and chest, “you're so pretty, baby. I forgive you. It’s obvious you’ve never had a crush on a girl before, and I think you learned your lesson, ” you said, rubbing his sore ass.

He nodded, “I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to do, ” he mumbled.

“I know, sweetie, ” you whispered, “I know. Was what we did ok? Did you like it?”

He nodded, “I liked it, ” he whispered.

“Do you need anything, ” you asked.

He shook his head, “just tired, ”

“Alright, baby, just get some sleep, love, ” you said.

He nodded as you both found an absurd amount of comfort in being so close to each other. You slept like a baby. You woke up to him gazing at you lovingly, pushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

He kissed your forehead, “I hope you know you're never getting rid of me, ” he smiled.

He kissed you, “y’know I'm kind of disappointed you didn't kiss me last night, ” he pouted.

“Mmm, I was too busy fucking you, sorry sweetie, ” you said, kissing him again.

“You enjoyed your ‘punishment’ a little too much, but having to go downstairs should be punishment enough, ” you grinned.

He groaned, “please don't make me. Let me stay in my room forever y/n, ”

“No, can do Tomu, you need breakfast, ” you said.

You walked downstairs, sitting at the bar and eating your breakfast. No one else was up yet, or so you thought until you heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

“You're not dead?” Dabi asked, completely dumbfounded.

��No dumbfuck, I'm not dead. Why the hell would I be dead?” he snapped.

“I dunno maybe cause you were screaming from y/n’s room all nigh- oh no. Oh god I think I'm gonna be sick, ” he fake gagged.

All you did was laugh at him.

“You two are disgusting, y’know that?” he said.

“We know, ” you smiled eating the rest of your breakfast.

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dream-a-little-bigger-x · 4 years

Text

An Unforgettable Halloween | Luke Patterson

Requested by anon: hiiiii! can i do a jatp luke x reader imagine where it’s halloween and reader runs into Luke and they spend the whole day making Luke forget he’s dead? thanks! <3 love your writing by the way

A/N: Thank you for this request, anon! I really enjoyed writing it! I hope you like it!! Idk why I always need to have the reader and Luke/Charlie singing together, but here ya go anyway. The song used is Favorite Place by All Time Low. :)

Pairing: Luke x fem!reader

Warnings: fluff

Words: 4,447

Halloween. It’s never been my favorite holiday. My poor, feeble heart can’t handle all the scares and creepy stuff. And besides, it’s over commercialized, in my opinion. Capitalism just needed another reason to exploit a holiday. My best friend, Ava, tells me I hate the holiday because it reminds me of two years ago when a Halloween party traumatized me for the rest of my life. “Just because Brent made that day terrible, doesn’t mean the day will forever be terrible, Y/N,” she’d always say. Though that might be true, I still like to believe that’s not the only reason why I hate the holiday. “Just come with me to the party tonight, and you’ll see it’s not as bad as you think it is!” We’re on FaceTime while I’m doing homework and she’s trying to figure out what to wear to the annual Halloween party at Charlotte the popular girl’s house. Another reason to hate the holiday. Charlotte Parks is the typical popular girl trope in this story. Pretty, popular with the guys, a cheerleader. The cliché. “I don’t think I’m gonna do that, Av,” I say whilst tucking my pencil behind my ear and staring down the phone in front of me, balancing against my backpack on the end of my bed. “You know Charlotte and I don’t mix well together.” That’s true. Charlotte has always despised me, God knows why. For some reason unknown to me, she always has to find a way to ruin my life. “Her house is so big, you won’t even see her!” Ava reasons from her walk-in closet before walking back onto the screen, another dress in her hand. This one is a black bodycon number with a white collar at the top and fringes at the sleeves. “How about this one?” “That’s very Wednesday Adams!” I exclaim with a wide smile on my face, to which I receive a very impressed nod from my best friend. “You know Bobbi’s coming tonight, Av. Can’t cancel on her!” Roberta’s my cousin of 13, and she’s one of my best friends, no matter how lame that sounds. We’ve always been pretty good pals, since we’re the only girls in the family. We kind of had to stick together against the testosterone of our other cousins. She’s not actually coming tonight, but I needed a good excuse to get out of this party. “Take her with you!” she yells both excited and kind of desperate at the same time. “Ooh! How about I wear my pleather pants with, like, a black body and cat ears?!” She disappears into the wardrobe again. “She’s 13, Av! I’m not going to take her to a high school party!” I yell back whilst shaking my head in disappointment. “Wear whatever you want, Ava. I’m sure you’ll look amazing.” She appears into the picture again, her pleather pants halfway her butt and her bra on show. “Hey, is that my bra?!” I recognize that black lace with the gold detailing down the bust anywhere and I’ve lost that bra three weeks ago. “What? No! This is mine!” she says, but I can tell she’s lying. “You are unbelievable, Av!” I shake my head, grinning at my best friend. “I’m gonna have to go though. Send me a snap of your outfit once you’ve chosen!” She nods her head in response, walking up closer to her phone, which she had balanced somewhere on her drawers. “I really can’t convince you to come?” Her expression has suddenly turned serious. She really is bummed I don’t want to come out, but I don’t care. I can’t care. This is for my own good. At least then, I don’t have to see Charlotte. Or Brent. “I’m really sorry, Ava.... Maybe next year, yeah?” She sighs mournfully before nodding her head. “Have fun, okay? And be careful!” A smile appears on her face again. “I will, babes. Have fun with Bobbi!” She offers me a wave, which I return before yelling ‘bye’ and pressing the red button on my phone screen. Lying to my best friend is not my favorite thing to do, but she wouldn’t shut up when she found out what I’m actually gonna be doing. With a sharp exhale, I crawl off my bed and head downstairs where my parents are getting ready for their little get-together with their friends. Dad’s dressed in a pin-stripe suit, a fake mustache stuck on his upper lip and his hair gelled back tightly whilst mom’s wearing a black dress with a deeply cut V-neck and a large slit down the side. Gomez and Morticia Addams. Very spooky. “Don’t you two look dashing,” I compliment, watching them from the middle of the stairs, sitting down. Mom shoots me a kind smile as she fixes her slick hair. “What are you gonna do tonight, sweetie?” Dad asks, tightening his tie. “Probably gonna go get some food and watch some movies,” I shrug, placing my head in my hand, my elbow resting on my knee. “You know, the use.” Dad exhales sharply, smiling sympathetically. “Don’t give me that look, dad.” “I’m sorry, sweets. But I just wish you would act like a seventeen-year-old instead of an eighty year old.” I scoff at his statement. We had this discussion last year too. Both of them know what happened and why it’s so hard for me to enjoy this day. But they still give me shit for it. “I’m gonna have plenty of fun by myself. Even more so than if I did go to the stupid party,” I reason with him. He raises his hands in defeat before turning to his wife. “Just make sure the kids get their candies, yeah?” mom says instead, climbing a couple of stairs to press a kiss to my head. “I love you,” she whispers and heads down again. “Love you too. Have fun, guys.” Dad comes up to kiss me too before heading to the door with mom. With his hand on the doorknob, he looks back at me. “You know we only want you to be happy, right?” he says. I nod my head, offering him a smile. “I love you, sweets.” He walks out and shuts the door behind him, leaving me alone in the empty house. I sigh deeply before heading down and grabbing my Vans. Once they’re on my feet, I grab my wallet and exit the house. The cool October air hits my sweater-clad arms, sending a chill down my spine. As my feet tread down the pavement, my mind wanders to this day two years ago. Around this time, everything seemed normal. I was happy and excited to get to the Charlotte Parks Halloween extravaganza with my boyfriend Brent. We’d picked out a great couples’ costume. He was a wolf, and I was dressed as Red Riding Hood. I’d even taken the liberty to go all out with makeup and put a slash near my eye as though I’d been attacked by the wolf. Ava was a fan of that costume, more than Brent was. But when we neared the end of the night, everything crumbled down into shreds of sadness and anger. The residue of that anger wells up again until it’s knocked out of me when I bump into someone, making me stumble backwards. I would’ve fallen on my ass if it wasn’t for the hands capturing my arms to keep me from doing so. “I am so sorry, I--” I stop in my tracks as I look up into the gorgeous green eyes that belong to the attractive brunette that saved me from landing on the cold pavement. “A-are you okay?” he asks, letting go of me. “I--wait…” He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “You can see me? And you can touch me?” That’s the weirdest question I’d ever gotten. My eyebrows knit together now too, trying to figure out what’s happening and why this boy is so confused about our entire interaction. “Uhm, yeah? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do with people?” “No. I mean -- yeah, but I’m not a person, technically,” he replies in a mumble. He cautiously looks up at me again. “I’m a ghost, actually.” I let the words sizzle through my brain until it decides to send me into a fit of laughter. “Right, yeah, it’s Halloween. Ghosts. I get it. Good one,” I say between laughs, patting the boy’s shoulder, which only sends him to more confusion. To be fair, he doesn’t feel like a normal person. His arms don’t feel like they’re made of flesh and blood, but rather something light and airy. He gapes at me with this inquisitive look on his face, which calms down the laughter abruptly. “You’re not really a ghost, are you?” I ask, just to be certain. “I am, actually…” he mutters and jams his hands into the pockets of his black jeans. “Me and my bandmates died in 1995 and this girl, Julie, brought us back as ghosts… She’s the only one who could see us… Until now,” he looks up at me with hope and confusion written all over his face. “But she can’t touch us… Are you sure you’re not dead either?” I snort at his last question. “Kinda wish I was today,” I blurt out. My eyes widen after the words left my mouth. “That sounds way too dark…” I chuckle, and the boy does too, but I think it’s more out of awkwardness than finding it funny. “Are you okay?” he asks. At first, I think about answering it superficially, but there’s this look on his face that makes me want to spill all the beans. He, too, seems lonely and distraught on this Halloween night. “I’m not actually,” I glance down at my feet, finding his feet are clad in the same shoes. I then let my eyes glide from his shoes all the way up to his face. He’s urging me to continue by tilting his head a little, shooting me a questioning glance. “Halloween isn’t my favorite holiday…” I clarify. The boy nods his head understandingly. “That explains the lack of costume,” he says, which makes me glance down at my doodled-on mom jeans and oversized sweater before chuckling. “You don’t do the dressing up either? Or is that not something ghosts do?” I query, pointing at his ensemble. He’s wearing black jeans with a shirt and long-lined jean jacket. “I mean, it’s not like anyone would see,” he jokingly says, which lets a giggle escape from my mouth. His smile widens upon hearing this ridiculous sound coming from me. “Where were you going so determinedly before I smashed into you?” he asks after a few beats of silence. “Oh, I was getting some food from the place on the end of our street. They got pretty decent sushi, and since I’m home alone tonight, I thought, why the heck not treat myself, right?” I curse at myself for sharing this much with a complete stranger, who is a ghost, nonetheless, but the chuckle that reaches my ears comforts me a little. “No parties to go to? Back in my day, Halloween parties were always the best.” I feel the smile on my face fade away at the reminder of the Halloween party I’m not attending tonight. “Yeah, no… I haven’t gone to any Halloween party in two years… Like I said, Halloween isn’t my favorite holiday.” He offers me a sympathetic smile. A silence then falls over us as we stand in the middle of the street, looking at each other, debating what to say. “So… I’m gonna go and get my sushi. Uhm… Sorry for bumping into you,” I apologize and lift a foot to start walking away, but his voice stops me. “Would you mind if I tagged along?” he asks, which renders me surprised. “I don’t eat, so you don’t have to buy me sushi, but I think I could use some company tonight… If you don’t mind, of course.” His eyes are filled with hope, and some sort of desire to hang out with someone other than those bandmates he was talking about. “Uhm, no… Yeah, sure. You can tag along. It might be a nice change from that lonely Halloween I always have,” I chuckle, and he does too. “I’m Y/N, by the way,” I say as he turns and falls into step with me. “Luke,” he introduces himself with a smile. “Why don’t you go to Halloween parties, Y/N?” I inhale sharply at this question. I was hoping he wouldn’t ask too much about it. But I guess I can never get out of that question anymore. Halloween is a big holiday around here. “Two years ago, I went to one with my boyfriend. It’s the party where I found out he was cheating on me with the one girl who always had it out for me.” It rolls off my lips with ease. Normally, I’d choke or start bawling my eyes out. But Luke’s aura is so calming and reassuring that I can’t help but feel okay telling the story. “I haven’t been able to go back since, much to my best friend’s dismay.” I roll my eyes amusedly thinking about Ava and her desperate attempts to get me to go each year. “That sucks, I’m sorry,” he says as we enter the sushi place. “You better grab your phone now if you wanna talk to me. People tend to give weird looks at people talking to themselves.” I get my phone from my back pocket and pretend to dial a number before pressing it to my ear, glancing up at Luke with a smile on my face. “Hey, how you doing?” I say into the phone, which makes Luke giggle. “Just know that your ex-boyfriend’s stupid for ever cheating on you,” he tells me before looking down at his feet. “I would never wanna hurt someone as pretty as you.” I can feel a blush creeping its way onto my cheeks, but decide to conceal it by jokingly saying, “Aw, you think I’m pretty.” He rolls his eyes, an amused smile on his face. “Next!” the guy from the sushi place yells. “Oh, hold on,” I say into my phone before placing it on the counter and facing the employer. “Uhm, the Halloween surprise box, please,” I order politely. The man nods curtly before getting into action. I grab my phone again and press it to my ear to continue talking to Luke while we make our way to a couple of chairs and tables set up for waiting customers. I let my eyes wander around the room. It’s decorated to the max with spiders in spiderwebs, pumpkins, skeletons, ghosts,... The lot. Then, my eyes fall onto Luke. He’s glancing around the place, letting his eyes wander until they find their way back to me. A shimmer appears in them when he finds me already looking at him. “So, you said you were in a band?” I ask, pretending to talk to the person on the other side of the line. “Oh, yeah! Me and three of my best friends were in this band called Sunset Curve. Three of us died on the night we were supposed to play the Orpheum,” he explains, and my eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets upon hearing the name of the venue. “The Orpheum?! You’re kidding, right?” He shakes his head, smirking. “You would’ve been legends.” The words come out in a whisper, hoping it wouldn’t upset him too much. “Yea, we would’ve been,” he sighs, then suddenly perks up again like an excited puppy, “But the girl I told you about, Julie? She can make us visible whenever we play with her! We’re now a band with her called Julie and The Phantoms!” I giggle at his endearing enthusiasm. “We would’ve had a gig at this really cool party in the Bel Air, but Julie got sick and had to cancel.” My eyes widen upon the words ‘party’ and ‘Bel Air’. Charlotte Parks lives in Bel Air. “That would be the party I’m not going to tonight,” I tell him, chuckling. “So, we would’ve met tonight either way.” He adds with a cheeky smile, “Some would say it’s fate.” I shake my head at him, but can’t help the smile on my face either. I want to add something to debunk his theory, but my name is called out by the sushi guy. I get up and take the box of sushi from him, shooting him a quick thank you before leaving the joint with Luke in tow. “Where do you wanna go?” he asks, bouncing up and down. “Oh, I was planning on watching some movies at home, but if you have a better idea to spend tonight? Anything is better than going to that Halloween party.” He purses his lips in ponder, his eyes darting up to the night sky. “Ooh! There’s this park I like to hang out at sometimes?” I raise my eyebrows at his suggestion, popping a piece of sushi in my mouth. I’m way too hungry to wait until we sit down to eat. “You haunt children’s playgrounds?” I ask after having swallowed the seafood. His eyebrows knit together at this as he narrows his eyes at me. “I don’t haunt children’s playgrounds. I hang out at them,” he corrects me. “You’re a ghost, sweetie. That’s haunting.” “It’s not!” he shouts. “It is so!” I laugh loudly, throwing my head back. “You’re lucky the kids are all trick or treating tonight, so we can go there. Might be a little more secluded for me to talk freely to you without worrying people will think I’m crazy.” He nods his head agreeingly. Once at the park, we take a seat in the grass. I have my legs crossed whilst Luke’s are spread out, his hands supporting the rest of his body behind him. “So, what do you do in life, Y/N? You know, besides avoiding parties,” he asks with a little smile plastered on his face. I look at him for a moment, chewing my sushi. This gives me the time to really look at him. He has really great bone structure. Sharp jawline, chiseled cheekbones, fine nose, deep-set, dreamy eyes. “Eating sushi,” I reply jokingly after I’d swallowed the piece of deliciousness. Luke lets out a laugh too. “I’m still in school, so I’m spending most of my time studying. And I like to think I’m a pretty decent writer.” He stares at me, giving me his undivided attention with the cutest smile plastered on his face. “What do you write?” he asks curiously as I pop another sushi in my mouth. I lift my hand to my mouth, and reply, “Poems,” before continuing to chew quickly. “Kinda like songs, then?” I shrug my shoulders. “They could be, but I don’t play any instrument, so I haven’t tried,” I reply and place the half-eaten box of sushi to the side, pulling my legs up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. “Do you write your own music?” He nods his head. “I wrote most of the songs in our band and now, I write with Julie for the new band,” he answers. As I’m thinking how much I’d like to hear him and his band play, he cuts those thoughts in two by asking, “Can I see your work?” I open my mouth, then close it. Then open again. I must look like a goldfish breathing. “I’ve never really shown anyone my work…” I trail off, debating whether or not I should show him. “Besides, my notebook is at home.” Luke suddenly gets up from the grass and reaches out his hand for me to take. I hesitate. Am I really going to take a complete stranger, a ghost, to my house to show my poetry, only to find out he hates it because it’s nothing like his songwriting? The answer is yes. I place my hand in his and let him pull me to my feet. Without letting go of my hand, he grabs the box of sushi and then guides me out of the park and lets me lead us towards my house. “Wait here,” I tell him as we’re in the foyer. He simply jams his hands into his pockets and nods his head curtly. I run up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and then go to grab my notebook from my room, quickly storming back downstairs where Luke’s still waiting. I make my way to the living room and sit down on the couch. The boy cautiously trails behind me, and only comes to sit down after I pat the spot beside me. “It’s not that great, but… You know, it’s fun to do and a great outlet for anything I may be feeling.” I hand him the notebook and let him flip through all the pages. He stops on a few, reading it a little more thoroughly. It’s building some suspense in me. What if he doesn’t even like them? What if he, a songwriter, hates them? “Ah! This one!” he exclaims, and suddenly, with a whoosh, there’s an acoustic guitar on his lap. “One of the perks of being a musician spirit,” he tells me with a grin before strumming the instrument a little. He abruptly stops, looks at the page in my notebook again, and then softly tickles the strings. A beautiful melody pours out of the instrument before his melodic voice joins in too with the words I wrote. “I saw your face in the fire again I touched the flames and burned down everything I hear the sirens west of 8th now” He looks at me with a questioning glance as if asking for encouragement of some sorts. I offer him a smile, unsure of anything else I could be doing right now. His voice has rendered me silent. I think I could listen to him sing for hours. “Wonder if you're hearin' them too And I know you don't belong Know you don't belong to anyone” He focuses on the instrument again, making sure he’s still playing the right chords. “No you can't be tamed love Maybe I was wrong Maybe I was wrong for this But you feel like the perfect escape now Just like the sun on my face” His voice grows a little stronger, almost sounding raspier and more like a growl as he looks up again. I always thought it’d be cliché to melt when an attractive boy sings to me, but it’s actually happening to me right now. “So can we close the space between us now It's the distance we don't need Yeah, you're everything I love about The things I hate in me So come on, come on, come over now and Fix me with your grace 'Cause I'm not too far and you're my favorite place” “You sing this last part,” he tells me, pushing the notebook towards me before going back to playing his guitar. “I can’t sing, Luke,” I tell him, slightly panicking. ��Sure you can. I’ll sing along, don’t worry,” he offers me a reassuring smile before putting more power behind his strumming while also leaning closer toward me to read the words. “So come on, come on, come over now and Fix me with your grace 'Cause I'm not too far and you're my favorite place” He now quits playing, placing his hands flat on the strings, and for a while we just stare at each other in disbelief. Disbelief about the song we just made together. Disbelief about how beautiful a voice he has. Disbelief about how attractive he is. I cough, breaking the eye contact, “That’s a great song, Luke… You can have it if you want,” I offer with a smile to try and hide the blush from heating up my cheeks. “No, Y/N, I couldn’t. That’s yours. Those are your words. Your words made this a great song.” “They’re just words without a melody,” I mutter, folding the edges of the paper nervously. “A song is quite boring without words though, isn’t it?” For some reason, I’m starting to think all of this could be a metaphor for us. Him being the melody and me being the words. I would be a plain and simple poem without him, and his life -- though I doubt it -- would be boring without me. “It would still be a song though,” I add, looking up at him again. One corner of his mouth curls up into a smirk, which makes me think he caught onto that metaphor I was thinking about. He suddenly grabs my hand and laces our fingers together. Before I can even register what’s happening, the front door suddenly opens, revealing a distraught-looking Ava. I let go of Luke’s hand and get up to help my best friend. “What’s wrong?” I ask her as she stumbles inside. I grab her just in time before she can hurt herself. She looks up at me, her makeup run out all the way to her chin and blood trickling down her nose, though I’m not sure if it’s real blood or part of her cat costume. “I punched Brent in the face and Charlotte punched me back,” she get out through sobs and hiccups. My eyes dart over to Luke, who’s watching this from the sofa. I almost forgot she can’t even see him. He offers me a small smile. “Why?” I ask and guide her to the couch. She nearly sits down on top of Luke, but I’m quick enough to guide her next to him while he vanishes. He pops back behind the couch, looking down at the drunk girl lying down on the sofa. “Because he was boasting about how he even managed to wrap the prude around his finger two years ago and got her to anything he wanted,” I swallow, remember those times people called me a prude because I covered up unlike girls like Charlotte who wore short skirts and plunging necklines. “I really don’t get what you saw in him, Y/N,” she mumbles while cuddling up to the pillow and letting her eyes flutter shut. “I hope you find someone that looks at you like I look at pizza.” I giggle at her drunken words before looking up at Luke to find him already looking at me. Kind of the same way Ava looks at pizza. A smile then finds its way to my face. Maybe Halloween isn’t as bad as I always thought it was.

Taglist: @hannahhistorian92 @marinettepotterandplagg @thequirkybookaholic @bookdealer5 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @hemmingsness @iainttakingshitfromnobody @ifilwtmfc @angryknightstatesmantrash @kiss-themoongoodbye @rudysbay @thedarkqueenofavalon @caitsymichelle13 @calamitykaty @parkeret @lukeys-giggle @gingerxarmy @lovesanimals @lolychu @perfectlywrongformend3s @luckylouiebug @camiladelrio98 @myfriendscallmebeans

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spirantization · 2 years

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Fandom-related asks for you: A, D, W?

Thank you for asking!! This day has been a day of Putting Out Fires so I had to actually Do My Job instead of answering fandom questions, like some sort of real adult.

A. Your Current OTP

I am a bit in between fandoms at the moment. A few months ago I would have said Lucifer/Chloe, but the ending of the show was such a disappointment that a couple weeks after the final season aired I dropped it completely. I had fun while it lasted, no hard feelings, but at some point I thought "I'm not having fun with this anymore" and that was it. There are a few in-progress fics I'll go back and read, but I'm not interested in writing fic or engaging any further in the fandom.

What I have been watching & reading is prequel series era Star Wars. Something about Anakin & Padmé's trashfire forbidden romance and the fandom's insistence on writing AU and time travel fix-its is deeply mesmerizing to me. I love them and people who hate the prequels are wrong, actually. I am waiting for the Obi-Wan miniseries to come out and I need the following scenes: a) Obi-Wan has a vision of an alternate universe where Anakin isn't a fucking idiot and just leaves the Jedi Order and raises his kids and is a great trophy husband for his hot senator wife; and b) a present-day scene where Darth Vader has a super secret Padmé shrine on his emo fortress where he goes to wheeze sadly and hate himself.

D. What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom?

I mean, it was Harry Potter because of course it was. I read and lurked for a really long time, but I got involved with the fandom with the Unknowable Room group in... idk, 2005? I wrote some truly terrible Lily/James fic that is now associated with my Ao3 account, but probably spent most of my time hanging out on the UR.org forum where we were all obsessed with "hijacking", which pretty much meant going off-topic. I don't know, it was the early 2000s. There are several people from those days that I'm still friends with now and have met in real life, so even though HP itself has become tainted, I can't ignore how it has shaped my online presence and connections and friendships I have made.

W. 5 favourite characters from 5 different fandoms

Okay let's go right across the board here, in no particular order:

Keladry of Mindelan (Tamora Pierce books)

The Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who)

Aang (Avatar the Last Airbender)

Chloe Decker (Lucifer)

Sarah Manning (Orphan Black)

#fandom #ask

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uselesstimetraveler · 4 years

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It's been over a week now since the AOS finale and I still haven't had the heart to rewatch it, so I'm just gonna share with you my opinions from that night (I wrote most of this the next day, just haven't posted yet lol)

It was next level excellent, overall, but I have A LOT to say, this is gonna be long

YES TO EVERYTHING DANIEL RELATED!!! The thing I loved the most was that they made him so useful, he wasn't just helping Daisy or doing whatever people told him to do, he actually had a great idea and executed it with Mack’s total support. He went to action and it gave me LIFE!

Another thing that gave me life was the philindaisy moment at the bar. I’m a sucker for them. When Daisy got there and hugged Coulson I was AAAAAAA and then she went to hug May and you see her stop, like, “oops, should I?” AND THEN MAY HUGS HER HERSELF!! Now, you can argue that May is an empath and felt Daisy’s emotions at that moment, but lemme tell y’all THAT WAS NOT JUST DAISY’S FEELINGS, THAT WAS MELINDA MAY'S GENUINE HAPPINESS FROM SEEING THAT HER DAUGHTER MADE IT BACK SAFELY!!! Try to convince otherwise and fail miserably. My family is just perfect like that.

The Fitzsimmons reunion scene I WAS SOBBING from the moment she realised the key was her ring!!! AND THEN FITZ JUST xkskdxkkm COMES BACK LIKE THAT kxsmkdsms I CAN’T djkskdsjsms I WILL NEVER EVER GET OVER THAT!!! That whole thing was genius, honestly. They were truly able to take a hard situation in which an important actor wouldn’t be able to be there for most of the season and used it amazingly to their advantage. And then Fitz HELPED HER REMEMBER BY TELLING THOSE STORIES = MORE TEARS. That whole scene was beautiful. AND WHEN SHE REMEMBERS ALYA OH MY GOD by that point I was screaming. Btw, I love how they chose their daughter’s name, it’s beautiful and has an even more beautiful meaning for them <3

Since I’m already talking about Fitzsimmons I’m just gonna go ahead and say that their ending was so well deserved. They suffered a lot, literally every season some shit would happen to them. I’m so glad they got their happy ending and are right now living their best life as a family <3 fitzsimmons family = everything to me. (are there any Fringe stans in here????? Did y’all notice that parallel at the end? If not, let me explain: aos: jemma sitting on the grass seeing fitz and alya playing together and smiling. Fringe: olivia sitting on the grass seeing peter and etta playing together and smiling. BOTH ON THE LAST EPISODE!! And both episodes were number 13. This is too much for my heart.)

About Deke: I really love that he was the one to “sacrifice” himself for the team. I’m not really a fan of Deke, but I was glad that he did what he always wanted, in a way; Contribute significantly to the team and be acknowledged as part of said team. It felt to me that by doing that he was doing what he often tried, but no one ever really took him seriously enough to allow him to do. I think he was selfless and then ended up finding his true place, after all. Nicely done, if you ask me.

On that note, and shifting back to Daniel once more: when he said he was gonna be the one to stay behind I was like “NO YOU’RE NOT! Don’t even think about it. You, buddy, are going with Daisy.” What was he thinking? (I know what, and I know it was brave and selfless of him, but just let me have my moment, okay?)

Now the answer to ending the war was empathy?????????? GENIUS!!! Mojed, you went beyond terrific there. I love everything evolving May in that part of the finale, how she dropped from the ceiling calling herself The Calvary (talk about character development!!!) to philinda fighting together and exchanging looks, to her saving the freaking world with her empath abilities!!!! I have some serious goosies just remembering.

Something else that was just genius to me was that they were the ones at the temple, THEY CARRIED MAY OUT OF THERE, I did NOT see that coming. WHAT?!

OH! And what about what Piper asked for??? She asked for Davis!! That’s adorable! That had me crying too, I love their friendship.

Now Kora. I was a little bothered about how fast things happened for her and Daisy on the sister bonding thing. Like, don’t get me wrong, I like that her and Daisy ended up working on the same team for SHIELD and that they were in a good place in their relationship, but what I’m saying is that Kora hated Daisy’s guts on one scene and Daisy had literally said a couple episodes ago that she did have a sister, but it was Jemma, and then Daisy died, and I liked that Kora saved her, is just that I got a vibe off of them in that scene that seemed like they had the best kind of sister bond for ages. Was that just me? Maybe, but hey ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That’s not really a problem, I'm just saying.

Btw, when Daisy died for, like, two seconds, I was out of my mind!!!! I couldn’t even scream, I just froze in place. Thank God or whomever that she was brought back to life. I wouldn't be able to continue without my baby.

Now back to philinda and probably the only "complaint" I have: Let us agree, despite wanting them to be together in the end, there was very little chance of that really happening, right? Because he’s a robot now. But I did have a lot of hope, those episodes >>gave me<< a lot of hope. Y’know, in episode 12 they had that moment talking in the hallway, the explosion happened, he protected Melinda... I was like, “that’s my couple right there, you guys”. Then at the fighting scene they exchanged some looks at the end that really left me “it’s coming, people. Their happy ending.” It didn’t come. I took another blow to the face. A blow that was expected, yes, but a blow nonetheless.

I wasn’t all that excited about Coulson’s ending at first, you know, him just traveling the world, but I understand what they did and why. He’s still getting used to his new self and rediscovering his life, so it makes sense that he would need time to do that. That last scene with Lola was simply EVERYTHING TO ME tho!!!!

But May’s ending… the thing is, I had a lot of expectations for how she would end up. Throughout the seasons something that was very clear to me was her desire to be a mother and I know that she built that relationship with the youngest agents on the team, but I kinda expected, aside from philinda endgame, more of that. But my biggest problem here isn’t even that, is that I really, REALLY don’t see Melinda May giving lectures????? Melinda May? The woman who now calls herself The Calvary, teaching theory or history or whatever???? I’m not saying she can’t, I’m just saying I never thought of that as a possibility for her, it sounds more like a Coulson thing to me. But then again, that’s all they showed us from her life. They gave us very little details about how she (and everyone else, honestly) is living and I think in a way I like that because it lets us imagine whatever we want. So she could very easily just be there at the academy for one lecture, she could be training (physically?) new agents instead? IDK. Also, Flint was there, they could have built a relationship. Mentor\mentee like hers with Daisy at first or even mother\son? I’d like that. I like the “found family” thing.

I have two ideas of fanfiction out of the finale. The first one is a Dousy that I had already thought of and completely fits with one thing that Daisy said, and the other is basically a Philinda fix it because, well, I want to. I'm very lazy when it comes to my writing, but I really wanna do these two, let's see how that turns out.

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softrenjunnie · 4 years

Text

“we can’t do this” kisses

pairing: slytherin!chenle x gryffindor!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst?? idk tbh, harry potter!au

warnings: none, maybe a swearword somewhere

wordcount: 1.6k

message: thank you for all of the love on my “collection” posts, aswell as everything else i’ve posted. i really really appreciate it and it means a lot to me. i honestly dont know about this one, i had a good thought but then... idk what the end is. anywayssss i hope you enjoy? feedback is always gladly accepted but pls be easy on me about this one lmao :// also you dont even wanna know how many times i typen cnehle instead of chenle, ive seen that video too many times.... second also; sorry for being so slow w my updates, ive been having less time and inspiration to write recently... :( third also: not spellchecked aaaah gonna try to do that tomorrow but im too tired rn :/

21 kisses masterlist l Full masterlist

Many months had passed since you last spoke to Chenle. Heck, if it hadn’t been for the fact that you were seated next to him in muggle studies (because the seats were fixed and you had decided on the first day of classes that you wanted to sit together), you wouldn’t even have been near him.

You’re a Gryffindor, Chenle is a Slytherin. Your mother is an auror and your father works for the Minister for Magic, while both Chenle’s parents were known death eaters. Or, well, they weren’t known when you started dating him, and if they had been back then you wouldn’t have gotten yourself involved with him.

Your parents had met Chenle several times, and they were always supportive of your relationship. But you wished you could say that they had been equally as supportive after it was discovered that his parents were death eaters. Your mother had sent you a letter the day they found out, and when you didn’t respond, your father traveled all the way to Hogwarts to talk to you in person and ban you from ever speaking to Chenle again, by threatening to take you out of hogwarts if you didn’t follow his orders. They had even made sure your friends and most of your teachers knew you weren’t supposed to meet him, so they would drag you away from him if you even as much as tried to talk to him.

But that didn’t mean that you weren’t looking at him. Or talking about him. Or thinking about him. That didn’t mean that you didn’t know exactly where he was at 99% of the time or that you didn’t know what was happening in his life. And it most certainly didn’t mean that you didn’t love him. Because you did. You couldn’t just shut off your feelings, no matter what your parents wanted.

Many parents had sent in threatening letters to the headmaster, telling him to expel Chenle because his behavior could inspire other students to learn about dark magic. But the headmaster always responded by saying that there would be no punishment for anyone based on what their parents had done, because children don’t necessarily take after their parents. And you were so thankful for that - because he was completely right. Chenle was not at all like that. He had been distancing himself from his parents as much as he could since the moment he found out about them over seven years ago; he’d even left them to live with his grandmother instead. You just wished your parents understood that.

You often found yourself looking down the hallway in the dungeon when you had finished potions class, hoping to see Chenle strutting to or from his common room with his friends. Or thinking of him when his favorite dish was sitting right in front of you at dinner, making you throw a glance over at his usual spot by the slytherin table to make sure he was digging into it as usual.

Except, one day, he wasn’t at dinner. You didn’t stop looking when you couln’t see him in his usual seat; you searched the entire slytherin table from your place across the room with your eyes, in case he’d decided to get a new seat; and then you searched the rest of the great hall in case he was talking to a teacher or someone from another house. But there was no Chenle. You thought it was very strange, as he never missed a meal - so you excused yourself from your seat and instead walked over to the slytherin table. By the end of it sat the people who you recognized as Chenle’s best friends, Renjun and Jisung, two full blood slytherins whose parents were speculated to be working with Chenle’s. They didn’t look too happy to see you.

“What are you doing here?” Jisung sneered at you once you came close enough to hear.

“I’m just wondering if you know where Chenle is,” you said, voice much calmer than the one that spoke before you.

“Why do you care,” Renjun spat right after swallowing down a piece of chicken. “You’ve made it pretty clear you don’t want anything to do with him anymore.”

“Oh, and you are mad about that?” Even though you had tried to remain calm, you could feel the anger boiling inside of you.

“Yes, Chenle is-“

He had barely just started talking when you cut him off. “You think you’re mad? There are people who are suffering way more from this than you, you idiot. Try to get that thought through your small brain. Maybe the person who’s been ignored, or maybe the person who’s going to be kicked out of hogwarts if she is seen speaking to Chenle.” You hadn’t been able to hold back - but it felt good. When you were done with your mini-rant, you straightened your posture again and looked at the boys with calmer eyes. They seemed surprised, and possibly a bit scared, and Jisung had dropped his fork from his mouth to his plate with a loud thud when you started. “So, I would really appreciate it if you could tell me where Chenle is at.”

Even though they were frightened of what Chenle had threatened them with doing if they spoke about his whereabouts, they told you about how Chenle had said that he wasn’t feeling like having lunch and was probably sitting in the library to study for his exam the next day. Forgetting all about your friends back at your table (and the risk of them seeing you by the slytherin table and connecting the dots), you hurried out of the great hall and made your way down the hallway towards the library.

Your mind was blank, you didn’t know at all what to say to Chenle if you even found him. Yet there was something telling you to go; something inside of you forcing you find him. He had his favorite spot in the library, by one of the windows deep inside, so when you finally made it into the library, you knew exactly where to look. And sure enough, staring into his history of magic book, he sat by the same table as he always did. He hadn’t heard you as your last few steps had been soft, so you faked a quiet cough to get his attention.

“What are you doing here?”

You sighed at the tone in his voice - you had been a bit surprised before you reminded yourself that you shouldn’t have expected anything. Instead of answering his question, you asked him one. “Why weren’t you at dinner?”

He put his book down and stood up, frowning at you. “Did you seriously come here just to ask me why I didn’t have dinner?”

You shrugged and looked down at your feet, suddenly feeling shy. “Yeah,” you mumbled.

“Okay, so,” he started, pacing slowly towards you. “you don’t speak to me for weeks, maybe even months, and then you come all the way to the library to ask why I didn’t have dinner?” You looked up from the ground to see him staring right into your eyes. “Not really that believeable.”

You didn’t know what to say. The day you had been banned from speaking to him, you had walked straight up to him to tell him that you wanted to break up with him. That’s it. No explanation, not giving him any chance to talk to you. And you hated it, but you weren’t sure how to make it better.

“Shit, Chenle, I’m sorry. I really am,” you sighed, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes at any moment now from seeing how angry he was. He had never before looked at you with such flames in his eyes as he was right now. “I... I don’t know what to do to make you understand-“

He cut you off, his tone piercingly sharp. “Just tell me. Tell me the truth.” You blinked a couple of times, hoping that it would help push the water in your eyes back. “Is it because of my parents that you act like I suddenly don’t exist?”

“Yes but-“

And again, he didn’t let you speak. “I though you knew me. I thought you saw me for who I am, not for who my parents are.”

You couldn’t hold back. You stepped towards him, cupping his face in your hands and scanned his eyes for any sign of doubt (except for his continuedly frowned eyebrows). It was like a magnetic force pulled you to him, that pulled your mouth to his. You could instantly feel how much you’d missed this feeling, even though it was barely just a brush.

Chenle pulled away almost the exact moment you’d launched forward, and though his expression was hard to read, it told you that he wasn’t angry at you. He let out a shaky breath, as he dropped his head to let his forehead rest on your shoulder. “We can’t do this...” he mumbled, his arms snaking around your lower back to hold you close.

You held him around his shoulders, leaning your head on top of yours. “I’m so sorry, Chenle. I’m going to find a way to fix this,” you mumbled. “My parents... they made sure I didn’t talk to you. I’ll do something to make this right.”

“But before that, can you just hold me?”

You might have ignored him for such a long time, but that didn’t mean that you had stopped loving him. Nor that you weren’t ready to fight for your relationship.

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the100hurtme · 3 years

Text

Lol so I finished the second book a couple days ago but here were my thoughts cause I remember them clear as day lollll (this series makes me emo) soooooo A Court of Mist and Fury pt.1:

I KNEW I TAMPON WAS SUS

My autocorrect knew before I did and was trying to warn me 😒

I mean I didn’t like him that much anyway he was so bland and I swore he only communicated in grunts

She’s not a FREAKN toy oh my gosh 🙄

Wait it’s been months and Rhys hasn’t shown up??? How serious is this bargain thing

Wow these Books are🌶🌶

Awww poor Feyre 🥺 can no one here her puking her guts out at night????

Tampon just chillin on the bed can’t even hold her hair 😒

This “protective” stuff is def gonna be a bad shade on him

Who tf is Ianthe

Well Atleast she has a friend even tho sis just popping up out of nowhere

Noooooo Feyre doesn’t seem like herself is no one noticing how this she’s gotten??? Do they not have therapy in Prythian?

Ugh this writing is so good I can actually feel how hurt she was

Damn how do you cope with actually dying and seeing urself and turning into something you once hated???

Where tf is Rhys

Ok like I can cope with them being engaged, but are they really gonna get married???

OH THEYRE GONNA GET MARRIED

SHIT THEYRE GONNA GET MARRIED

SOMEONE SAVE HER NOT ONLY FROM THE MARRIAGE BUT THAT FUGLY DRESS

Awww it hurts reading her cry for help

YES DONT DO IT

FUCK YES FINALLY TAKE HER AWAY RHYS YES YES YES

oh shut up tampon 🙄

Ianthe sus sus for dippin like that

Awww yes rhys take her away from this bitches 🥺

Ok like I know that I want rhys to take her away but seriously tamlin isn’t gonna put up more of a fight?

Ugh yesss Lucien must have been tired for carrying the sass of the book for so long

FINALLY SOMEONE NOTICED SHES BEEN WITHERING AWAY PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY

Wait how deep is this bargain bond (I’m still so confused about how that thing works)

I still stand by the their mates theory but idk how that works either and he hasn’t mentioned it

She’s so broken she can’t even push back at him damn her fire is really gone

Who’s the girl??? Pleaseeee no competition...

Lol Bruno Mars would def love the night court clothes

He’s having her read and put up shields wow. Also why did no one at spring court teach her how to read??? Like it’s not threatening or physically dangerous... lowkey annoyed with Lucien like the dude almost died cause she couldn’t read how come he’s not gonna teach her...

OH SHES HIS COUSIN aight that’s cool

Wow he’s actually giving her space idk I thought he would bug her a ton that’s really nice

LOL OF COURSE HES HAVING HER WRITE THAT

Nooooo don’t make her go back she’s actually eating and sleeping 🥺

DUDE WHAT WHY ARE YOU INTERROGATING HER

Bruh 🖕

Oop you just know something us about to go down at the tithe

Also for someone who said he doesn’t keep slaves the tithe is a bit sus there 😒

Dude that’s so glutinous to just keep taking and taking like that... if you have all that money why can’t you reduce their taxes!!! Also why is the Tithe so frequent tf

Are they not gonna discuss the wedding thing

Yeah what how are they supposed to pay in three days when there’s nothing??? Like most of the kingdom was under a damn spell

Is Feyre just supposed to be decoration???

Yes! There’s the backbone that we hadn’t seen from her in the last 7 chapters!

Damn tam don’t get your panties in a twist

Oh they are def gonna save her ass later

LOL I LOVE HOW SHE GAVE AWAY THE JEWELRY HE GAVE HER

Sis should have given them her engagement ring 😌

Wait how many powers does Feyre have??? I need a catalogue to list which court can do what... like if autumn can do fire how come dawn and day don’t get fire??? Like I’m sure it makes sense but my mind is tired

Lolllll Alis is a whole mood

Yeah you better be saying sorry tampon 🙄

Does the mans not see she hasn’t painted anything in months??? Like read the room omg

Awww she has PTSD badddd someone come save her :(((

WTF YOU CANT JUST DO THAT DUDE WTF

Atleast he shielded her somehow

HE WASNT THE ONE SHIELDING HER

Bruh wtf is Rhys?!? Or even Lucien or Ianthe do they not like Feyre or something

BRUH WHY CANT YOU JUST HOLD HER WTF fIng horndog 😒

Sis you don’t owe him anything, but she’s so nice for trying I would have dipped so fast

YES RHYS YAYYYYYYY

Dang the clothes are even looser than before 😞

bruh these two are just wrapped in trauma aren’t they :(

Well that picture show must have kept him up at night oof

HOW DOES NO ONE CHECK TO SEE IF SHES ALRIGHT LIKE ITS NOT JUST THAT SHES NOT PAINTING THE GIRL IS LITERALLY WASTING AWAY

I expect if from tampon but damn Lucien is on some thin ice

Bro everytime I read “looks at me with worry” it physically hurts like ouch

Is this just gonna be a thing where she only gets checked on and fixed one week a month just for her to wither away again?

Yeah where is Mor? On the map the night court is so big how many Fae are in this court

The whole invading other people minds thing stresses me out.

Bruh Amarantha was bad and controlled all those courts how can something be worse than that

can someone find out what books Feyre is reading??? Like what kind of books would the High Lord of the Night Court give her to read?

Please don’t let her fall apart Rhys

Dang this book is so realistic that going through that shit can actually haunt you for a while. Most books just skip over it I like that she’s actually going through it thoroughly

WTF TAMLIN

Dude why can’t he train her??? Like she’s losing control of it might as well teach her how to wield it on purpose

Yes Lucien talk to him 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

They really don’t let her do anything at all, idk how do you live life when you feel utterly useless

Why can’t he just tell her where they’re going???

Ok Lucien earning some brownie points I guess for trying

HE DID WHAT

Bruh WHAT

RHYS WHERE YOU AT

I knew I liked Alis

How come Mor is the one getting her? Ohhhh some other weird court rules I dont understand

Damn that must have been so traumatizing for Feyre

Lolllll Rhys is about to lose his shit and I’m here for it

YES DONT GO BACK YES

YAYAYAYAY SUCK IT TWMPON

WE’RE GONNA MEET RHYS FRIENDS I think he has friends I hope he does

awwwww city do starlight sounds nice

Lol they must not know about this city if they think Rhys is terrible

HOW DOES SHE WRITE THIS WORLD my imagination isn’t even that big!!!

Aight so since this book is hella long expect multiple parts of your actually following along with this!

#acotar #a court of mist and fury #feyre archeron #rhysand #Lucien #tamlin #spoilers #lollllll these books will be the death of me

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slutsofren · 4 years

Text

Paint Me Red

Summary: Being a struggling artist in a city filled of aspiring artists has always been rough, you were privileged enough to have a semblance of steady income thanks to the promotional work your manager, Poe Dameron, does for you. For the past however many weeks, you've become consumed with the works of an anonymous poet, one who has captivated their own cult following. Their works have inspired countless paintings of yours and in turn, you catch the eye of one Kylo Ren.

Tags: Kylo Ren reader insert / modern au / painter reader / poet Kylo / eventual romance / maybe smut idk / Kylo has Trauma but you dont have to “fix him”

Read on AO3 here!

Chapter 1: Gallery (below the cut)

You kept looking at the painting. No matter how many times you re-painted, reinterpreted this poem, your hands just couldn’t find a consistent translation between the words and your paint. You dropped the brush and leaned back in the chair, hanging your head as far back as you could and let out a loud groan.

“Why does this have to be so complicated ,” you exclaimed to nobody in particular. It’s been a month since you cooped yourself in this studio, a whole month! It felt like you’ve accomplished nothing but waste canvas and paint this entire time. All along the floor laid waste to the discarded abstract portraits you had produced and hated. Nearly a fraction had been left unfinished due to it just not working out.

You mumbled and grumbled while you stood and relocated to the workspace of the studio, where a computer and books had been thrown about. The computer woke, nearly blinding your eyes. What time is it anyways, you wondered. The sun had set some time ago, you knew just as much when you could barely see your work and were forced to lose focus to turn on a light. That distraction had really set you back.

A quick glance to your watch informed you that no, the sun didn’t just set a while back- it set well over six hours ago. The time had been creeping to two in the morning already, no wonder your eyes were straining so hard. When your computer unlocked and you opened your music app to play some background audio, you grabbed the leatherbound book that was inspiring your work.

Nobody knew who the author was, only that they released two-hundred and fifty black leather bound books with gold foiling titled “Mine” every couple of years. You were close friends to some editors down in San Diego, the same publisher that worked with this anonymous author and they were always kind enough to secure you a copy.

They wrote like it was the last thing they’d ever write, as if pain circulated through their veins. They wrote of being lost, being hurt, feeling such intense anger with no human outlet, and of being ignored and tossed away.

Sometimes they wrote like they’d be dead before the poem had ended.

Much of this resonated with you. Ever since you moved to Los Angeles, this magnificent city of wanna-be actors and musicians, seeing lights that inspired yet mocked the pedestrians down below, you’ve felt like you were dead yourself. When you moved here, all you ever wanted to be was a painter. It didn’t always matter what you painted, you loved a variety of styles and eras, as long as commissions paid the bills and your personal pieces sold at galleries, you were satisfied.

But sometimes being satisfied wasn’t enough.

You took the black book and opened to the poem you had been hyper-fixating on for the last couple of months since it was released. You interpreted it in as many ways as you could style your hair on any given day. This one spoke to you the moment you read it, it broke your heart, mended it, then threw it away all at once. To you, this particular poem breathed new life into your soul.

You read each line over and over, admired how this poet seemed to write effortlessly, as if it’s just how they speak. Gosh, what you would do just to meet and have a conversation, to understand the mysterious writer’s genius.

And so you kept painting, never seeing each unfinished canvas as a failure but rather an entirely different interpretation. You couldn’t let this get you down, you just had to keep working- keep picking up the paint and let loose.

As the days blended together, your manager, Poe Dameron waltzed into your workspace without a care in the world. You turned down the music that you had playing in the background while you worked.

He picked up one of your unfinished works, “I got you a gallery space, set for two weeks from now in Pasadena. Sponsored by the Norton Simon Museum.” The way these words rolled off his tongue was so nonchalant, you didn’t believe it.

You let out a choke, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, you got a space, now give me something to tide them over with- oh, that looks nice can I take that one,” he grabs another unfinished painting. “Anyways, don’t worry about promoting it, they are all over it. They’re just calling it Artist Spotlight but they’re going to need a theme name.”

Your eyes drifted over your amazing manager, he worked just as tirelessly as you did with each and every one of his clients. It was no wonder he was married already, with a charming smile like his and the luscious hair to match made him a total darling.

“Let’s call it, Paint Me Red .”

“You got it, girl,” he walked over to you and gave a chaste kiss on your cheek and left with his silent goodbye. Although you were nothing more than his client, you loved him very much. He always gave you a rough time when you needed it but was always a person you could rely on to tell you the truth when you needed it.

To sum it up, Poe Damereon was a guy you paid to berate you like a protective older brother and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Those two weeks passed and you worked even more tirelessly. The artist in you was seldom satisfied by your creations but your manager reaffirmed even your “trash” paintings were more beautiful than the best modern oil paintings for which you found yourself taking the most comfort in.

It was difficult to remove yourself from this mindset but as your gallery expanded with each rise of a new day, you became prouder of not just what you painted but of yourself. This was going to be a showcase that you were to be proud of.

Your night came which brought nerves like no other. Los Angeles had a rough art community to grow and develop but this was the place for you. You arrived at the gallery, dressed as professional yet as fierce as you could in a shimmery silver gown that bared your shoulders in a skinny strap that had a plunging neckline. You wanted to wow your crowd with your paintings and yourself.

You poured your heart out over this collection- you wanted, more than ever, to receive a warm reception and maybe a little bit of praise in the meantime. It didn’t make you vain, it made you human.

The director of the art studio welcomed you with a glass of champagne and let you wander the space before it opened to the public. Your heart swelled with emotion as you glanced over all these white walls that supported your artwork. Abstracts, sharp lines on some, a couple that resembled portraits of a human-like void. Anything and everything of what could be taken of that single poem.

Over some small amount of time, guests began to fill the building, allowing others to finally view what you’ve worked tirelessly over these past however many weeks, well, months really. As the newness of this exhibit of yours wore off, you began to get antsy, started to bite on the inside of your cheek.

You felt eyes on you as you hid your face behind the fourth glass of champagne you managed to snag. The more nervous you felt, the hotter the room got. This is beginning to be way too much- oh stars, you can’t breathe- it feels like you’re dying, like you’re-

“Are these yours,” a dark voice asked behind you. You stood up straight and turned slowly, trying to get your mind away from whatever was happening to you.

“I- yes they are.”

This tall, handsome stranger looked at the painting that was next to you, something that mildly resembled Everts’ Studies in Desperation series. It was one of your darker interpretations, something filled with a little more hatred and angst than the rest.

“They’re very nice, what inspired you?”

Your mouth opened agaped and quickly shut, you didn’t want to look like a fish now. You opened up your bag and pulled out your trusty copy of Mine and showed the stranger. “This poet, their selections have always called to me but, Red, Mine would repeat in my head nearly nonstop until I picked up a brush and painted what it spoke to me.”

He grabbed the book from your hand and flipped through it slowly, sometimes reading the short notes you had written on some of the pages, like “I love this one,” or even, “I’ve felt like this before”. As he took his time going through the leatherbound poetry, you took this moment just to admire just how handsome the man before you is.

He stood tall and confident, long black hair that looked soft enough that you had to refrain from running your fingers through; his face was littered with constellation-like moles that truly gave his presence some warmth and beauty despite the deep angry red scar that cut threw them like a blade. The large crooked nose stood just as prominent as his ears but, by the stars, he made it work. All of these features suit his being so well, almost as if he was your own personal Adonis, you wanted to paint his beauty.

His long lashes finally looked up from your bookmarked page of Red, Mine where you had written very simply, “This one,” and a heart. He closed the black book with a small thud, almost entirely muted by the sounds of your audience mingling.

“You really liked that one,” he questioned as he handed the object back to you. You took it from him and gestured around you.

“All of these paintings represent how this one poem has made me feel. Loss, hope, anger, hurt, fear,” you paused while you looked at the man before you and held his gaze, “But most of all, this particular poem has made me feel accepted. Like I’m not alone. Almost like, it’s my turn to be strong, it’s silly-”

“No, by all means, no, it’s not silly,” he interrupted you. His eyes had grown wide and you realized he put his hand out to almost hold your shoulder but quickly retreated to put his hands in the pockets of his suit’s pants. His jaw flexed for a brief moment and he looked to his feet. “I have their collection too. It’s a good read from time to time.”

Your lips turned up in a small grin, “Yeah, they are. I’m glad to have met another Anonymous Poet enthusiast.”

He looked up at you and cleared his throat, “What’s something you’d say to them if you ever could?”

“Hmm,” you wondered, “That I love their work, I’d love to sit down and talk, wonder what they think- what their thought process is. Maybe thank them for helping me cope and tell them that I don’t think I’d be alive without their words. Heck, I’d even work up the courage and ask if they like my interpretations of their poetry. I’m not sure, what would you say?”

He looked at you almost like you had shot him, “I think I’d simply say that I’m sorry they went through whatever they did to get them where they are. That they’re stronger now.”

Before you had a chance to respond, Poe came and placed his hand on your arm and called your name, “Hey, girl. Time for your speech and then people can start buying your art.”

You looked back at your strange new friend and he gave you a small encouraging smile, “It was nice meeting you.”

As Poe began to drag you away you piped up, “I didn’t catch your name!”

“Kylo- Kylo Ren.”

You gave him a small wave before you turned your back on him and approached the stage. Poe did the honors of introducing you, calling your vision “illuminating and awe-inspiring”. Finally it was your turn.

You approached the glass podium with only a mild case of anxiety shaking within your bones. The lights, however warmly hued they were to temper against the constant rotation of art still seemed like a spotlight on you. You cleared your throat.

“Hi- hello,” you introduced yourself, mentioning you're the creator, “Thank you all very much for being here and supporting me tonight. This entire exhibit is decorated with a wide variety of my illustrations in both dedication of and inspired by the Anonymous Poet, creator of Red, Mine the poem. It is only fitting that I should read the very words that seemed to have possessed my mind these past couple months, you think?”

The audience gave a chuckle. You looked up and around, feeling hints of anxiety nipping at the silhouette of your being. Across the room, leaning against the small bar table, you spotted Mr. Ren and when he noticed you staring, he raised his glass of champagne. Urging you to continue.

It was almost as if his steady gaze and warm features guided your confidence to hold steadfast and ready, your courage multiplied and tingles at the tips of your body, sparking new found strength.This small gesture kept those dark hounds at bay in your mind.

You cleared your throat and began, “Red, Mine

This is how the story goes

It has never changed, never been altered

It didn’t make much difference

The twin suns are rising in the west now,

The world changed from when you knew me last

This is how the story goes

This life of mine would be snuffed in green lights

Then you were there to guide me

Truth is, you could never be thanked

I would never be forgiven

This is how the story goes

I snuffed the little lights that had mocked me

Tore down the buildings that confined me

I ran

I never stopped running

This is how the story goes

I found solace in red

This green and blue would have ended my life

The both of you tried and failed

I will live on bathed in black and red

This is how the story goes

This fire red consumed me

I consumed red

Now it’s your turn to run.”

At the beat of the last syllable, you could hear a warm applause, a gracious signal of congratulations. Your smile kissed the corners of your lips and your heart swelled with warmth. This was exactly where you were meant to be in life and you couldn’t be prouder of yourself.

Your speech wrapped up with the ceremonious thank yous and appreciation to all who came as well as the Norton Simon Museum for sponsoring the showcase. Not to mention the big fat check you got on their behalf.

Poe lent you a hand as you descended the platform, “Alright, now go mingle and sell some art!”

You gave him a warm kiss on the cheek and another wave of thanks. One hand took yet another glass of champagne as the other held your clutch tightly. Your heels clinked against the tile of the gallery as you floated in and out of conversation, selling your artwork and trying to network and make new professional relationships.

It was rather obvious that leaving early would be considered rude but your feet hurt as much as your eyes. All you wanted was your warm bed and soft music to lull you to sleep. You spotted Poe across the room speaking with a pale gentleman, donned in a navy blue suit and matching tie, his orange hair was just as slicked back as his authoritative presence. You watched as they shook hands and the stranger departed, leaving the building entirely without a glance back.

Poe caught your eye and his jaw dropped, just nearly bolting into a fast pace walk, attempting to keep whatever semblance of professionalism as he could without knocking any of the patrons over as he bee-lined straight to you.

“You will not believe what I’m about to tell you,” his brown eyes lit up.

You gave him a hesitant look, clearly it was good news but usually Poe Dameron was in a good mood usually meant him ending in some kind of trouble. “Then don’t tell me?”

Your manager gave you a deadpanned look and pulled out his clipboard, “Every single piece was sold before you even walked off the stage.” He handed you the order sheet and sure enough, each and every painting was bought by the same person, leaving only AP as the buyer’s name.

“AP?”

“Initials for a little someone called the Anonymous Poet,” with those words you instantly felt faint. There was no way, no goddamn way.

“Was that him? Poe, was that really him,” your voice faltered. Your hand rose to cover your open mouth, eyes wide.

He did nothing but shrug and give you a sly smile, admiring your shocked expression, “The man I talked to was not, rest assured, but clearly your muse admires you and your work.” Poe gave you a small squeeze on your shoulder, feeling your oncoming emotional whirlwind. “If you faint on me now, you won’t hear the best part,” he teased.

“What is it, tell me,” you rushed the words out as fast as you could, the heat licking at your skin as your anticipation mixed with anxiety.

Poe reached into his pocket and retrieved a sleek black business card and flashed it at you. “Expect an email within the next few days, your muse wants to talk with you.”

You felt Poe’s warm hands grasping your shoulders as you fell. After all, Poe did say to wait until after he gave you good news.

#asher's writing #paint me red #kylo ren #kylo x y/n #kylo x reader #kylo x you #kylo ren reader insert #star wars sequel trilogy #star wars smut #star wars reader insert #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren/reader #kylo ren/you

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willykappymarnsmatts · 4 years

Text

Wrong Direction: Chapter 2 (K. Kapanen)

@moriellymakesmesoft

“I just got off the phone with Max,” it's been two weeks since I've moved into Will’s place, my stuff still in boxes all over the apartment.

“Oh?’ William responds, tossing me a smoothie from the fridge as we get ready to go to practice. I still go to sleep in tears and wake up with puffy eyes, but Willy makes me feel like everythings going to be okay, if not today then someday soon. “How is he?”

“Good,” I tell him, scratching at the back of my neck, refusing to look up at him knowing what comes next. “He asked me to come stay with him. Well, he didn't ask. He's kinda forcing me.”

“Oh,” Will says. He turns around and faces me with a look on his face of a mix of betrayal and hurt, and it makes me want to burst into tears. “Um, well, are you gonna go?”

“I have to, babe. He's my brother, and he said that if I don't come by myself he'll pack my things for me the next time he comes to Toronto.” I feel bad, but I do miss Max.

Willy just frowns at me. “When are you leaving?”

“Uh, tomorrow. He said he'd buy me a plane ticket.”

“To Montreal?! I could drive you!”

“I know, its okay. He’s the one paying so I don't really care honestly. Don't we have to get going?’

“Yeah,” he giggles, glancing at the watch on his wrist.

On our way to the arena, I take deep breaths to try to calm my racing heart and shaking hands. Seeing Kasperi this often still hurts just as bad as seeing him in bed with that girl. But the whole situation has given me a lot of inspiration for a new song that i've been working on, bouncing ideas off of Will day and night.

He notices my agitation and reaches over to grab my hand. “After this, you won't ever have to see him or me ever again.”

“Hey, don't say that,” I pout. “I'll be back and i'll move back in with you, if you let me, in a couple months. I just need a break from Toronto. Everything I know is laced with memories of him. I can't even enjoy your games because he's there.”

Will nods without looking away from the road. “You're always welcome at my place. We’re all still really pissed at him, you know. Mitch hasn't spoken to him since that night, and you know how Mitch is. Auston doesn't even look at him, and Zach’s only talking to him because he feels bad that everyone is making every effort to ignore him but me. The whole fucking team loves you, Y/N. Oh, and Derms took a slapshot at his ankle the other night and he had to sit out for an entire period.”

My eyes are brimmed with tears and I have to look up at the ceiling of the car to keep them from spilling over. “Can you let the guys know i'm leaving? I'll obviously talk to them, but I don't want to be the one to break the news to them.”

Will nods. “Of course.” he smiles at me then and looks away from the road for a split second to wipe away a tear.

•••

I sit in the third row to watch the boys’ practice and try to continue writing, but the yelling and pucks hitting the boards constantly is distracting, so eventually I give up and watch them skate. During a water break, I catch myself watching Kasperi. All he does is take a few deep breaths, but watching him like this, as if nothing ever happened, makes my heart shatter. Before I can look away, he looks up at me and I watch his entire face fall. He stares at me and I stare back. He studies me, as if to memorize me. I can't look away, and he refuses to skate away. He continues forward, until he's at the boards and we’re a few feet away from each other. Neither of us can pretend we weren't looking at each other. He stops, and so does my heart. And we just watch each other. Just stare. My heart is breaking with every moment that passes, and my stomach hurts, because he was my everything.

A whistle blows. Kasperi whips his head around. The sounds of the rink come back into my ears, and we’re both taken out of the world where we were the only two people who existed. He skates away, glancing back at me once before never looking back at me again.

•••

“Y/N,” Willy says as soon as I answer his facetime call. I've been in Montreal with Max for about two months and I released my song about a week ago. Wills is driving back from practice, which is when he gives me a rundown on how “incredible” he was and how he's gonna kick ass at the next game. But today he looks anything but confident, his forehead a mass of worry lines and his mouth turned down into a frown.

“Y/N, your song is saved on my playlist, and I got the aux this morning. After practice, it came on. Most of us were singing, and I glanced at Kap, and he was just sitting there in his stall. He wasn't moving. Just staring straight ahead.”

I sit up. “Woah, slow down. I thought Kasperi and I were finished.” When I moved away, after the day at the rink, Will told me that Kasperi stopped seeming to care. He was out with a different girl every two days, bringing random girls home every day of the weekend. It still hurts, but it hurt more to realize that our entire relationship meant nothing to him. But if Will is telling the truth, which I don't doubt he is, it makes everything a whole lot more confusing.

“I thought so too, but listen. I think that it was your voice at first, Y/N. He hasn't heard your voice in months. And then he heard the rest of the song, he listened without moving, and as soon as it ended he got up, in just his slides and shorts, and fucking left the room.”

I'm silent, letting Will talk. “The rest of us didn't know what to do, so I tried to follow him. I found him in the weights room, and he was in tears.” Will flicks on the turn signal and turns onto his street, then glances at his phone to see if he should continue the story. I nod at him, holding my breath to keep from breaking down at the thought of Kasperi.

“I went to him and sat with him, and he just cried. I haven't seen him cry since he thought I was getting promoted to the bigs and he wasn't. But he was sobbing. So I sat with him, and eventually he calmed down enough to choke out that he misses you. He told me the girls were a front, and that he hasn't been able to sleep ever since that night. And, Y/N, I dont think he's lying. His eyes always have huge bags under them and he's so shaky. So I asked him why he did it, but he didn't have an answer. He said he missed you and he felt like you didn't love him anymore because you were always out doing stuff for your album, but I told him that was bullshit and he said he knew it. He told me he can't breathe without, and that he hates that he hurt you. So I told him to talk to you, and he said he'd try to text you later today.”

“Damn,” I respond, not sure how to feel. “I want to love him again, but I don't know if I can trust him.”

“You don't have to. He knows he hurt you, and that he has to work to get you back, but I am asking you to please just try to talk to him, because fuck, Y/N, if there’s a such thing as soulmates, it’s you guys. You're both in so much pain. Take your time, keep your walls up, but just talk to him.”

“Okay. Okay, fine.”

“Thank you, beautiful best friend. I'm home now, so I'll call you back in a couple hours?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. See ya.”

He ends the call and I'm left in silence. Then my phone dings with a text notification in my hand, and my heart picks up speed. I know exactly who it is, and I don't want to look at it, not right away, so I throw it across the couch with a pillow on top of it.

I put my head in my hands and try to slow my speeding heart by taking a few deep breaths. “Fuck!” I yell, then silently thank Max for going out a few hours ago. I wipe my face with my hands and sit straight up.

I stare at the pillow my phone is sitting under, knowing without ever checking that there is a text from Kasperi Kapanen waiting for me. My phone dings again and my heart jumps. I stand up and rip my phone from under the pillow.

‘wrong direction huh’

‘i miss u’

I cover my mouth with my hand and my eyes brim with tears. I sit back slowly onto the couch and read over the messages two, three, four more times before unlocking my phone and tapping on the text bar.

‘Dang, how'd u know it was abt u?’

I smile slightly as I type out the message and hold my breath when I hit send. I don't have to wait even a second before the three bubbles come up on the screen.

‘no idea’

‘ig im just tht good’

I laugh and type out another response.

‘Imyt. How r u?’

I bite my lip when the text bubbles come up, and a few seconds later his response comes.

‘could be better tbh. can’t sleep @ the apt nymore so i spend the nites b4 games @ 1 of the guys places’

My breath catches at the words. Then another message pops up.

‘im so sry 4 everything’

I bite my lip and close my eyes, taking a breath.

‘Thx. I havent stopped thinking abt u’

‘me neither’

I take another deep breath. Kasperi was my favourite person, my person, for so long. It's scary how easily we can fall back into simple, comfortable conversation, as if nothing ever happened. So I decide to be straight up and honest with him, and if he really does still care about me, he’ll understand.

‘U broke me, Kasperi. I never thought tht u would hurt me, and u literally broke me. I miss u more than nything and it hurts so bad to b without u, but seeing u in bed with another girl, tht broke me. It felt like our whole relationship was built on lies, and tht u never actually cared abt me. So yeah, i cant stop thinking abt u, and i want to b able to love you again, but u broke my trust and idk if ill ever trust u like i did before.’

I hit send and feel like I'm going to be sick. Everything I type I’ve told Will and all the other guys, but after the day I left the apartment, I never spoke to Kasperi about anything. The three bubbles come up on the screen and I hold my breath, then they disappear. They come up and disappear a couple more times, until a message finally pops up on the screen.

‘i wish i could take back everything i ever did 2 hurt u, but ik its not tht ez. i rly do want 2 fix this, tho. would u b down to ft l8r?’

I can't breathe, but I manage to type out a response without screaming.

‘Sure. Just text me when ur ready’

I take a deep breath and click my phone off. I'm about to get up when my phone dings again. I glance at the message and it makes my chest feel like it's going to explode.

‘ok i will <3’

I smile down at the screen and go to plug in my phone so it's charged when Kasperi wants to call. I really don't know if I'll ever be able to trust him again, but the least I can do is give him a chance to apologize. He's already broken me so badly, even if he lets me down again nothing will compare to the amount of hurt I’ve already felt.

#kasperi kapanen #kasperi kapanen fic #kasperi kapanen/reader #kasperi kapanen imagine #william nylander #hockey imagine #toronto maple leafs fic #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #hockey fic #nhl #nhl hockey #nhl hockey fic #nhl hockey imagine #willykappymarnsmatts

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artbymintcookies · 4 years

Note

if ur taking requests still.. could we get foggy antagonizing matt in the office? i read a fic once where karen didn't know about dd and came back in the middle of an out of control throwing-shit battle instigated by foggy who kept throwing things at matt's head to see if he could catch them (he could) anyway matt didn't want to out himself to karen so he took a textbook to the face n that scene lives within my brain forevermore

hope you don’t mind more words! Also Idk if this is what you had in mind but these boys are straight up mean to each other. under the cut bc long

wait how did this lowkey turn into a full kinda sad fic i’m so sorry

Foggy was angry at him. He knew this because Foggy had told him as much, but also because there was no way any person who was not driven to insanity through passionate rage would put rancid coffee in the coffeemaker. It was from the tin at the back of the cupboard that no one dared touch, liquid tar sitting in their kitchenette just to waft into Matt’s nose until someone did something about it.

Foggy, meanwhile, had a nice steaming cuppa from the coffeeshop across the street. He had bought one for Karen as well.

Finally, noon rolls around, and the stench had been looming around the office for long enough that he broke. He dumped it into the sink, worsening the smell as it coated the drain.

Tersely, he brought the empty carafe into Foggy’s office and plopped it down onto his desk.

Slowly, Foggy looked up to him.

“Can I help you?” he asked sweetly.

“Do I have something to apologize for?” Matt shot back.

“Was there something off about the coffee?”

“I’m not doing this right now,” he said, storming out of the room and trying to focus.

Foggy clicked his pen when he was peeved. It was usually only semi conscious, with the added benefit that it bored into Matt’s skull every time.

Matt could take precisely 6 minutes of it before he stormed into Foggy’s office, felt around for a capped pen, and replaced it in Foggy’s hand.

“This is a red pen. I’m not writing notes with this,” Foggy said flatly.

“As long as the clicking stops, I don’t care,” Matt retorted. “Is this also part of my torture?”

“I’d hardly call it torture.”

“You’ve been rude to me all week, and I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“If you don’t know, you don’t know.

Foggy continued not to talk to him for another week. Matt developed an urgent need to punch something. So he did, repeatedly and hard, every night for a week, and then he stumbled into Karen’s apartment with bloody knuckles because he sure as hell wasn’t going to talk to Foggy about it.

“Woah, hello there, Mr. Devil. Doesn’t your partner usually look after you?” Karen asked, opening the window to let the man enter.

“‘Usually’ being the operative word,” Matt spit bitterly.

“On the outs again?”

“Rough patch,” he corrected. “I’ll fix it. I just need to find out why he’s being so pissy.”

“Ouch,” Karen deadpanned. “Why can’t he just be legitimately upset at you?”

“I haven’t done anything.”

Karen sighed. “What do we know? Inaction can sometimes be as harmful as action. Willful ignorance, negligence leading to serious harm, what have you.”

Matt paled. “What did I miss?”

“Well, a couple weeks ago, you were supposed to meet Foggy for dinner with his mother.”

“The Rosalind dinner,” he said, horror dawning on his face. “I had to stop a bombing on the other side of town. Did he do it himself?”

“I had to come to his rescue, a half hour late. Apparently, when he had told her she’d be meeting his partner, she had assumed he had meant business partner. She congratulated us on our engagement, by the way.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, she hated that I was the tardy type. She said she’d ‘loathe to have her son tethered to a flaky type.’ Now, usually, I would hate to agree with the reason Foggy has to take Xanax, but just this once, I see where she’s coming from.”

“I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged. “Don’t tell that to me. I wasn’t the one losing out there. Foggy is a surprisingly good kisser.”

“Okay, yeah. Just invite me to the wedding,” Matt waved at her over his shoulder, booking it out the window.

“You owe me one!” she called after him.

The window to Foggy’s bedroom had a trick lock. Normally, it wouldn’t matter because he lived on the 11th floor and no one was ever trying to open it from the outside. Matt thought maybe he should let Foggy know as he shook it open and climbed inside. He could hear Foggy in the kitchen, which wasn’t good because it smelled like he was eating sugar cookies at 11pm, which was a definite depression meal.

“Hey,” Matt said, tapping Foggy on the shoulder. He dropped his plate and it shattered in a deafening noise.

“Get out.” Barely a whisper, and barely concealed irritation.

“I came to apologize.” He put his hands above his head in a show of surrender. “I’m sorry I missed dinner. I’m sorry you had to suffer Rosalind alone.”

Foggy paused for a long moment and shoved him out of the way to get a broom.

“I wasn’t alone. I had Karen.”

“Congratulations on your engagement, by the way.”

It earned Matt a jab in the ribs. It wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t as violent as it could have been, so he took it as a good sign. “Shut up, I’m still mad at you.”

“And how can we expedite your anger so you go back to loving me?” Matt was suddenly glad no one else seemed to be able to hear heartbeats, because it was hammering in his chest. His palms were clammy in his gloves. What if Foggy still refused?

Foggy was silent as he cleaned up the stray ceramic. The pieces jangled into the trash before he spoke. “Just be better, Matt. I’ve been begging you for years.”

Shedding his gloves, he places them carefully on the counter, and his mask along with it. He felt all the ways his hair is disheveled, the myriad directions it was being pulled. He wanted to look away, but he needed Foggy to see his face.

“I can’t do that if you don’t give me another chance.”

“How many more will it take, Matty? How many other chances am I supposed to give you?”

“I’ll get it right one day, don’t you think?” He tried to smile sheepishly, and hoped it didn’t read as smug.

“Your track record says otherwise.”

Matt frowned, felt his muscles lurch downward grotesquely. He took a step forward and reached for Foggy’s hand. It was selfish, but he wanted to chase it when Foggy slipped out of his grasp. “I can’t lose you, Fogs. Don’t tell me that ship’s already sailed.”

A sigh. “You know, for the first time since maybe ever, I think Rosalind was actually proud of me. She was happy that there’s a firm out there with my name on it big enough to have employees, and that it’s competent enough to win cases more than it loses. I mean, I’m still poor as dirt, but at least I’m not a failure. She was proud that I found a smart and pretty woman to love me. You know what she said?”

“Foggy-”

“She said, ‘thank God you’re not so attached to that Murdock fellow anymore. You were getting a little codependent, were you not?’ I mean, what can I say to that? It’s not like it wasn’t true. She had investigators look you up. Came in with a stack of files three inches thick on everything that you’ve done that might reflect badly on me. And that’s just the Murdock side of you. Can you imagine if they found out about Daredevil?”

Matt felt his chin quiver.

“She called it a proposal. She wanted us to split. And it was so tempting, you know? All these years later, chasing her green light. Pathetic, don’t you think?”

“Is this a break up?”

Foggy shook his head. “No, Matt. I told her to fuck off, and that you’re my best friend and that she won’t be the one to split us up. Stormed out of there faster than Rosalind could be billed. Because I show up, for you, Murdock. I can’t do this if it’s not reciprocal.”

“It’s reciprocal I swear. I had- I’m sorry, I know it’s not an excuse, but there was a bombing on the other side of town.”

“Yeah, in Queens. You could have let Spider-Man handle it. Hell, he showed up to the scene faster than you did, according to the Bugle.”

Matt scrubbed at his face. “Okay, maybe Rosalind scares me a bit,” he admitted.

Finally, it got a chuckle out of Foggy. Dry and barely amused, but present nonetheless. “Yeah, she scares me, too.”

Before they could help it, they were laughing and collapsing onto the floor, and melting into each other’s arms.

“I really am sorry, you know. I’ll never let you face her alone ever again,” promised Matt, finding Foggy’s pinky finger to loop it around his own.

“See to it that you do. And you’re paying next time.”

“I can work with that. Just don’t leave me. Please.”

“It’s a deal, I guess.”

#under the cut bc long #mattfoggy #but hardly #matt murdock #karen page #foggy nelson #gen fic #Anonymous #matt fucks up and everyone's upset about it #there's a bit of karenfoggy because guess what i ship that too #daredevil #marvel #my fic

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minjoonalist · 5 years

Text

If You Let Me. ii | KNJ 18+

Author: hey guys! This is a sequel(?) To If you let me. (m) . Honestly Idk what made me want to write this lol but I suggest reading that first to get a better understanding before this one. Or hopefully its good either way without it lol.

Previously- If You Let Me. [part one]

+++

Discription: for 4 long years- he kept his promise. There wasn’t a single moment you ever doubted his love for you. or so you thought …

Word count: 7.8k

Genre: angst, smut, fluff? (If you want it bad enough)

Pairing: Husband!Namjoon x Reader [ ft. tae and hobi]

Quote: “4 years ago today, I told you how deeply in love I am with you….how perfect you are for me. I promised you, that I would never make you feel like you werent enough….it seems I somehow managed to break that”

+++

11:02 am

A knock sounds gently on your door waking you from your hallow state. You stare at it blankly before mumbling the words ‘come in ‘ to your visitor.

“ Noona?” Taehyung, the boy that was like your close little brother whispers as soon as he opens your door. “ I know you’re mad at Joon hyung…b-but can I come in still?” He asked you nervously. You comment yes for the first time in a while and settle back against the headboard of your bed. you thought about telling him not to call you that like you usually did but, but did you really have the energy?

It had been four years. Four years since Namjoon had proposed to you, and promised you forever with him. four years since he broke down the tough wall your ex-fiancee kai had managed to build.

a sad smile came on your face and tears started to brim in your eyes.

you blinked , it seemed as if everything was feeling a little too familiar. you remember blinking back so many tears over kai and now it scared you to do the same for Joon. Tae , watching his beautiful noona with a sorrowed expression, walked into the semi-dark room and sat comfortably on your bed. “noona-”

“Tae pleeaasee… just call me y/n -okay?” you rub his shoulder. he nods gulping at the intimate gesture, it wasn’t that he was attracted to you- which of course he was. It was that, for the past few weeks since you’d kicked his best friend out of your house - you could barely manage to look at him nor hoseok either. he couldn’t blame you, of course you wouldn’t trust the two closest males to him- for all you knew they were part of the problem as well. but they stayed persistent, promising their Hyung to always look after you even while he was away..

your hand fell miserably from him and he gently took it in his. there was so much he wanted to say to you, but he was afraid he’d set your relationship back. he didn’t want you to hate him and think that he was just another guy trying to take up for his shitty friend.

but he wasn’t.

Tae wanted to take up for a great friend. the man who was also a great husband for you. while he didn’t know the full details of the situation, he also knew that it wasn’t anything you guys couldn’t fix.

you guys weren’t perfect, this isn’t the first time you and namjoon have had a falling out. it would usually end with him on your living room couch and you strutting torturously around him in his t-shirt with nothing else underneath.

it didn’t end with him gone in some random city, doing who knows what and possibly with some women better than you. “ would he even be wrong?” you thought bitterly to yourself.

your heart burned, because deep down, you knew this was all your fault. thats right, you ran him away. yelling at him, screaming angrily, disrespectfully pushing him out your front door without a single word, without even letting him speak. he didn’t fight, he didn't protest…it was almost like he’d given up. he hasn’t called you or texted - hell you don’t think he even took his phone with him.

what you knew for sure was that he didn’t want contact with you, and he definitely wasn’t thinking about you. he was still attending his lectures at the university. you knew because , you’d over hear his students still complaining about the impossible professor kim. two even walking over to you, the current owner of the bookstore , jokingly pleading to get him to go easier on them. it immediately reminded you about when you first officially talked and how everything fell into place from there. it seemed all so perfect, from the first text - to the friendship you built and even to the moment he kicked Kai’s ass for you.

you scoffed ironically. it was currently that exact same day that Kim namjoon had promised he’d never make you feel like you weren’t enough for him. that he would spend everyday making you forget the all the pain you felt before. it was also the first time you two confessed your feelings for one another. your stomach dropped sickeningly, and the pained lump in your throat swelled.

oh god here came the tears again.

you let out an ugly sob in front of Tae, finally crumbling with your guarded mood “ he p-promised… ”. those words fell desperately from your lips while your arms hugged yourself. Tae springs into action and pulls you into a comforting hug. you rest your head on his shoulder trying to calm your lost breath the deep pain that engulfed your entire being.

another knock sounds on your door and hoseok pokes his head inside. “ everything alright?, I heard YN-” he pauses at your broken state. his eyes widening then rushing to the other side of you on the bed. he looked at you with the same sorrow as Taehyung did before and you sniffed, sitting up. normally hobi never held anything else but a smile on his face which prompted you to say “ Everything’s fine, hoseok don’t worry” . you smile but it doesn’t reach your eyes. he notices, because he wasn’t stupid..

“ y/n….” hoseok starts, “ you don’t have to- ….its okay to say you miss him..he’s your husband after all” he says very gently. they were walking on eggshells around you, trying not to trigger another episode like they did last week. you breath in deeply “ but…does he miss me?”

“of course he does noona- …y/n. more than you know. just give him time” Tae tells you, still holding you close. “yeah, hyung just needs to think. He’d never leave you” hobi said rubbing your back assuringly.

The tears came back again from his words “ but he did leave me…” you cried all over again. Hoseok rolled both of his lips and closed his eyes cringing from his fuck up. Tae shook his head at him “ he means- while namjoon may not be here..right now. He’s not leavingyou, leaving you y/n. I don’t think that man can live without you” .

You looked up ,puffy eyed with a wet face. The sight of both your closest friends sitting close beside you trying to cheer you up. You were glad they stayed behind with you because honestly you didn’t have much else. Yeah there was your family and maybe your best girl friend-but they didn’t know Joon the way you, tae, and hoseok did.

“Can we do something?, I don’t want to sit here anymore.” You mumble and both of them sat there staring at you shocked. A couple of days ago you could barley look at the two- now you wanted to go out? They didn’t know if that was good or bad, but they sure as hell weren’t going to disagree with you.

They glanced at each other before Tae smiled and turned back towards you.

“Okay, what do you want to do?”

2:33 pm

“Remember when we agreed to this? Yeah I regret that.” Hoseok groaned and you walked up to them in another form fitting dress. “ what about this?” You beam , twirling confidently in the silver silk material. It hugged your body tightly, falling just above the middle of your thighs and exposed the majority of your back.

A blush appeared on the male next to him and Hoseok swallowed - because he was pretty sure he was suppose to be admiring just how good the dress looked, not how good your ass looked in it. “ it's very beautiful noona, my favorite one so far ” Tae smiled, making your mood brighten even more. You look over to hobi for his confirmation and saw the pained look on his face.

You frown “ do you not like it? ”. You ask turning around once again. “Oh..” He took a deep breath, he was never comfortable having any attraction towards you- not when you were his best friend's wife. “ no it looks really great YN . But don’t you think we could do something else maybe?…you know?…guy friendly?” he laughed nervously, avoiding any type of eye contact with you. you look back at tae ,finally noticing the slight pink tinge that graced his features and his clamped legs.

your eyes widened a bit and you immediately caught wind of his insinuation. a blush now performing on your face and you turn rushing back into your dressing room. you take a deep breathe changing your clothes slowly, to prolong the awkward situation that was to come. you usually did this with namjoon, you would love how his eyes roamed hungrily over you- even when he didn’t think the outfit was cute. it wouldn’t have been long before you found him, sneaking his way in just to rub his hands all over you. you’d kick him out of course…

“joonie please there children in here!..” you giggled, from the feel of his lips brushing up on your ticklish neck. that sly, dimpled, smile would appear and he’d shamelessly cup your ass in the expensive material . “ Bullshit- this dressing room is completely empty” not that he cared anyway.

you missed him…

“I can’t look at you, get the hell out namjoon…!”

You winced and a sad smile left your face. Once you're done changing ,you begin making your way back over to the boys when you stop just around the corner. you could’ve sworn you heard a gasp followed by…..

“ Joon Hyung- Hi!” you hear Tae exclaim in surprise and your body instinctively glues itself to the wall separating you from them. “hey joon, long time no hear” hoseok chirped brightly along with him. you couldn’t hear a response which only lead you to believe that he must’ve called them.

“h-how….how is she?” was the only words that he could let out. He sat on the floor of his unknown housing. staring blankly at the ceiling fan as it spun around. he told himself he wouldn’t do this, it was only torture knowing that you were all by yourself and he wasn’t there.

Tae glanced up at the presumably empty hall of the fitting room.

“ she really misses you hyung-”

“When are you coming back?” Hoseok interrupts. He frowns and on the end namjoon does the same. “Soon…I think” he sighs

“ I called about YN, I can’t give you the answers for me right now ” he said Redirecting the conversation back to you. He needed to know everything happening with you , were you happy? , Were you sad?, How often did you cry? ,Did you even cry? , you were eating right? , are you still reading the newest book series he recommended you? , did you really miss him? , do you still love him? .

These questions kept running his mind over and over everyday. And yeah maybe he was being a bit over dramatic- of course you still loved him. He just didn’t know if you would ever forgive him. He never explained to you what happened , just let you get angry and kick him out. It was better that way , had you found out the reason he’s yet to come back , you’d never let him leave.

He hated whenever you two fought. It always left such an awkward space and you both were never used to it. of course you would eventually make up in your own ways, but Namjoon just didn't like it and neither did you. He could only imagine your heart break when you didn’t see him the next morning. Hoseok and Taehyung calling him and pleading for him to comfort his wife since you wouldn’t let them. The only one he briefed about the situation he’s in, was hoseok. He would have told taehyung had it not been that he would have completely broken for you and spilled everything.

His best friends voice rung in his ear, bringing him out of his thoughts “Right, cause it's wrong for your friends to be worried about you. Ok” hobi retorted and before joon could answer “ shes doing better. She's finally talking to us again. She's actually laughing? And smiling? y’know cause of me and tae... we’re okay too by the way , thanks for asking.” He finished irritation clear in his voice.

Namjoon always found it funny, how happy and upbeat the man was at all times until you really got under his skin. And right now Namjoon found himself bone deep.

“ I know you're angry hoseok, believe me I am too but I don’t know how else to go about this.” He spoke calmly , even after his friend took a more disrespectful tone with him. He couldn’t blame him, Both of them- They both cared for you and were always ready to kick the next guy’s ass who broke your heart, or anyone who tried to hurt you for that matter. Even if it meant their very own best friend and Namjoon was grateful for that.

“ how about actually telling her the truth” Tae suddenly piped up. Taking both you, joon, and hoseok by surprise.

Tae wasn’t one to talk to his hyungs out of disrespect but right now He could tell both Joon and hoseok knew something that he didn’t . Tae didn’t want to believe that. but for whatever reason he hasn’t returned home to you, was much more than him getting angry from you assuming he cheated on you.

After realizing his sudden outburst his confidence shrunk just a bit “ I- I don’t know , what the hell is going with you, but you can't keep YN in the dark for this long. She deserves to know why her husband isn't around right now” he said into the phone and looked carefully at hoseok’s shocked expression.

“Tae…” Namjoon spoke.

“ you promised her.” He paused “ You told Noona that you would never make her feel the way she felt with kai and you’re right, because whatever you're doing it's making her feel worse Hyung” he mumbled the last part, already imagining how angry Namjoon must be from from his words. But he wasn’t , in fact it only made him sadder because maybe his best friend’s were right. Although, taehyung comparing his actions with Kai’s did sting more than the blonde intended them to.

“O-okay.” He said finally said a long awaited pause. “ I’ll talk to her just please give me a little more time, until then take care of her for me” he hung up before the both of them could protest. Namjoon got up from the floor- taking one more swig of the bottled alcohol before finding his coat and making his way out of the house.

Both Tae and hoseok sat in complete disbelief. “ you’re telling me everything when we leave” tae whispered to hoseok. all he could do was pierce his lips and nod in agreement. After a couple of minutes passed by , taehyung was starting to worry about you…

“ Noona! Are you almost ready?” Tae suddenly called out , startling you. Your heart quickening and you tried to fix yourself . You stepped around the corner meeting both the happy faces of taehyung and hoseok. Although those smiles didn’t last long when they noticed the stream of hot tears running out of your bloodshot eyes.

Oh fuck.

No….

They both thought. Hoseok gave tae a side glance before looking back to you. “ everything alright YN?” He asked cautiously. No… that's what you wanted to say, but instead you nod. “ yeah” you sniffed, suddenly picking at your fingers “ just feeling drained” you lied wiping them away. Without looking at the two , your figure walked straight pass them and out of the fitting room chamber. “ lets go get some coffee huh?” You smiled and they silently but warily followed you out of the store.

How could they have lied to you?

4:23 pm

Namjoon slowly made his entrance in the small cafe. His body tensing and his mood was anything but friendly. He didn't want to be there, and he didn't want to see the woman that was currently waiting all the way in the back for him. He spotted her, a newly cut bob , a pair of black shades, and a long black coat to match. Could she be anymore obvious?

“ You’re not doing anything wrong joon” he sighs muttering to himself.

He then made his way over and stood behind the seat in front of her. She looks up at him, or so he assumed behind those shades. “ you actually came?” She spoke , voice cracking just a little. She bit her lip , watching him hesitantly sit down and mumble “ why am I here?” . He didn’t have time for this , everything that was happening he just wanted to get it over with. The faster he gets this done the faster he could finally go back to you.

The woman looks at him and saw how miserable Namjoon looked.

“Are you just going to stare or are you going to start explaining yourself?” He rose a brow. She flinched a bit from his attitude “please I asked for your help because im trying to run from that kind of treatment Namjoon” she spoke softly and he immediately felt like crap. “ …im sorry Mina…its just, being away from YN so long kind of has me in a really bad mood lately” he looked down saddened.

YN.

She was well aware of your name, it was one her monster of a husband compared her to for years. It wasn’t long after the whole scene between you four at the movies, she found her husband speaking you up more often. Before he’d never mentioned you, only ever telling her that the last girl he dated just wasn't ‘wife material’ . She didn't know he was engaged and sure as hell didn’t know it was to you.

Over the years he’d gotten , angrier , colder, meaner and soon her love for him had died underneath all that. He regretted his actions towards you ,that she could tell. There were times where she would catch him on your online profile or even attempting to contact you through text only to delete it completely and then turn to drinking. Eventually his recent actions had ended aggressively towards her when she finally confronted him about it.

She filed for divorce and was now relying on Namjoon’s help in testifying against Kai. Why Namjoon? Well that was easy. First and foremost, because Kai hated him with a passion and why wouldn’t he?

He was in his place by your side, in kai’s head Namjoon had swooped in and stole you from him. Second because Namjoon was a number one witness to how much of an asshole his old friend is. And last but not least- because he was your husband. It was really you she wanted to talk to, but namjoon would never let that happen. Although Namjoon was completely sure you are in love with him and would never leave him for your ex, the last thing he needed was for you to be caught between that marriage.

So when Mina found herself faced with Namjoon at your apartment’s front door, she was a little more than disappointed.

“ you're not going to put YN in the middle of that” Namjoon scoffed in disbelief.

“I didn't ask you now did I?” Mina protested and crossed her arms. She turned on her heel ready to leave “ I’ll just come find her another time” she said walking away and Namjoon stood thinking for a good second before he thought of another solution. you weren't getting into that, not when you’ve already come so far. “…wait!” She stopped suddenly when he yelled for her to.

She turned back around arching a brow “If you really need a witness that bad Ill help- but you won’t tell anyone what I'm doing with you, especially not YN” he says finally, but there was another untold proposition waiting. She thinks for a second “ and what is it you want in return?” She finally asks. Namjoon frowns before a wicked glint appears in his eyes.

which lead the both of them there in the diner. Mina smiled at him sweetly, slightly adoring his devotion towards you. “ YN was smart falling in love with you over kai” she said softly.

“ she really dodged a bullet I can say that.” She sighs.

“... I didn’t really give her much of a choice” he chuckles and so does she,but bitterly. she then reaches for her glasses, taking them off.

Namjoon felt sorrow the second he saw the purple bruised flesh of her eye. “ You're a sweet girl Mina- you didn’t deserve how he treated you” he said quietly.

She just looks at him, swallowing all the anger and sadness she had inside “ isn't it funny?…I'm sure when YN saw us together, she probably wanted nothing but to rip my head off. Strange that at some point I wanted to do the same” she confessed tears brimming her eyes. namjoon however tensed a bit from words, his fists clenching and back stiffening. was she saying shes a threat to you?

Mina noticed and raised her hands up slightly “ listen ...yes at some point through my marriage . I wanted to hurt her. I wanted YN to disappear -to make him forget the girl that ‘broke his heart’… but it took me awhile to get that she wasn't the reason my marriage fell apart. My husband was.” A tear slipped out her eye and down her face.

Namjoon nodded understanding her pain. He knew what it felt like to love someone while their mind was filled with another. It's almost like what he went through with you over kai. He looked down at her fidgeting fingers, noticing that her ring was completely gone now. Oh how he hoped you would never do the same.

You.

that's what his mind kept going back to, even while he was talking to her. So Joon couldn’t help but ask what he’d come to hear this whole time “ Mina, please tell me ..did you-“

“Win?” She finished for him with a straight face and he gulped. “…yes, I did” she smiled brightly. the man had visibly sagged back in relief before standing up and hugging the girl so hard he nearly knocked her and her chair over.

She won!…which meant joon didn’t have to hide ...which meant he gets to see you-

“Joonie?”

5:12 pm

Maybe it was the way your body was visibly stiffened as you walk, maybe it was your fists being clutched tightly at your side, or maybe it was that you hadn't uttered a single word to the boys after leaving the store.

yup you were mad.

Although strangely you stayed calm and both tae and hoseok could tell it was just a matter of time before you exploded. all of you walked down the side of the streets when they finally decided to say something.

“ she heard us- you know she did” tae whispered low so that only hoseok could hear. Hoseok looked to the front of them watching your figure strut slow but passionately. “ you think I can’t see that Taehyung? You think im not currently pissing my pants for when shes going to go off on us?” Hoseok nearly exclaimed.

“The woman suggested to get coffee tae….she hates coffee-yah! ” he yelped, heart beating even faster once he notices you stop abruptly, you spoke with a dangerously low voice and your back turned to them “ you know it's one thing for you to notice im angry, it’s another for you to talk about it behind my back ``. both Tae and hoseok , brace themselves for what was about to come.

“ why? why didn’t you tell me you could get in contact with him?” you then asked.

hoseok started “ YN, he didn’t want us to tell you-”

“he? , what about me?… what about my feelings in this?. why did no one think I needed to know where the love of my life is hiding - or what he’s up to?” you turn towards them. rage like fire burning within your eyes as you go off “ Maybe I was right not to trust you two!… maybe I should have shut you out like I did before. I was so stupid to think you would understand me, that you would help me!” you finished yelling , while the two stood there letting you lay into them shamefully.

“ noona-”

you meet Tae with a stern look, giving him warning. for once he actually rolled his eyes towards you, which riddled you shocked “ YN, I know you’re mad- but you’re being unreasonable! that phone call was the first I received from Joon hyung since he left. I don't know anything happening with him or what he’s up to. I can be here for you , protecting you and trying to cheer you up but its not my job to fix the problem between you and him.” he sighed wearily.

hoseok nodded in agreement before stepping towards you and pulling you into a big hug. “ we love you YN, but you’ve got to understand that were just two bystanders, here to support Namjoon and you. if we didn’t understand , me and tae wouldn’t be taking turns staying over, making sure that you eat, or at least that you have someone around. we want to help, but we can’t do that if you don't trust us” he pulled back to see the same teary eyed YN he’d been used to seeing lately.

“So im overreacting? Is that what you're saying?” You ask in a small voice and not meeting hoseok’s eyes.

It was tae ‘s turn to step to you “ no , you have the right to be mad YN, maybe we’re just not the ones you should be angry at…” he commented. Hoseok looked at him, his eyes wide as ever. He couldn't tell what the hell hadn’t gotten into Taehyung lately. But in the meantime he did calm the situation.

After all that , the three of you had ditched the idea of coffee and decided to get you some ice-cream. You were making your way down the sidewalk when you glanced inside one of the shops you were passing. Your body halts and all the breath in your lungs had suddenly left you paralyzed.

Taehyung, not looking, had collided into you, while hoseok had only made a few more steps before noticing your state. “YN everything alright-?” Hoseok asked you, but you didn’t hear him. Everything was in slow motion and you turned making your way inside of the tiny cafe.

The sound of a screeching chair and the tall figure that was only mere feet away from you , is the only thing you could find yourself focusing on. You looked at him and realized how right Tae was, they weren’t who you were angry at. It was a married man in a cafe, hugging the same woman you’d caught him sneaking with a couple nights ago.

He looked- happy.Excited even. No doubt the woman was just telling him something he wanted to hear. His breathing was heavy and your heart sank when his dimpled smile disappeared the moment he noticed you behind him.

“Joonie?”

“Oh. Fuck” he clearly commented, mostly to himself before jumping away from the woman like she was fire. You scoff in hurt and take a step back as he tried to step toward you “ YN? ….what are you-?.. baby I promise you this isn’t what it looks like”.

“ don't bother promising anything when you can't keep them Namjoon” you spat immediately and He winced from hearing his full name come out your mouth.

No , he only liked when you called him Joonie.

You shake your head in disbelief, eyes landing back on the girl who now looked oddly familiar…

They widen and you can't help but look back to joon - tears immediately crashing down your face “ oh…you’ve got to be joking….” You say low at first, but when you reach closer to the similar details of her face- irony had smacked you right in yours.

“ ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NAMJOON? MINA?!?” You yelled before clenching your teeth. you started towards him hands tightened when both boys grabbed your arms.

“YN STOP!”

“Noona please!”

tae and hoseok tried to calm you, they tried to bring you back down before you did something you’d regret. You shrugged the two boys off of you “both of you shut the hell up!” You sneered while speed walking over to your ‘husband’ .

Namjoon saw this and held up his hands in surrender to you “YN, listen to me-”

You were so angry you saw red and you weren’t thinking clearly. It was too late before you realized and you couldn't stop your right hand from connecting with Namjoon’s cheek. A loud smack rang throughout the coffee shop, causing everyone around to go silent.

“My ex-fiancee wasn’t enough , so you went after my husband?” You glared at her. You couldn’t believe you ever felt bad for her. Mina shrinks back from you a bit but her stare goes right back to the man in front of you.

Namjoon-stunned from the sudden assault looked back up at you for what felt like 10 regretful minutes. You’ve never put your hands on him.ever. Neither had he to you. So it didn’t shock you when you saw that his eyes began to water just a bit. What did shock you however was the cold look that took its place immediately.

Oh my god, what have you done? You thought to yourself. Your hands were suddenly shaky and you found yourself rambling on with excuses “Joon ...I-I…Im so sorry- I was just so angry!. I mean how could you choose her over me? After everything you knew I went through? Was I really not enough for you?…I could’ve been better ...you should have told me.” Your voice shook with every word and every sentence had only made Namjoon angrier.

God if you thought you were angry -it was nothing compared to how namjoon felt. He was livid, but he wasn’t going to show it here. No Namjoon wasn’t going to make more of a scene you had already caused.

So he didn’t. Instead he turned around to Mina, with a stoic expression plastered on his face. Mina herself gulped, because the last time she’d seen him so worked up he’d ended up Kicking her husband’s ass with only a few punches. Something even told her that not even you haven't seen your own husband as angry he is.

“I think our business here is done. I'm sorry you went through that, glad to help as much as I could.” He said to her through a emotionless voice.

Mina nodded, flashing a quick smile to him before landing her gaze back to you. You frowned and it only deepened when her stare turned icy, matching yours when joon turned away from her. She could only envy how lucky you were to have a man as amazing as him.

“Hoseok…Tae…” Namjoon called breaking both of their trances. They simultaneously answer him ‘yes’, avoiding any eye contact with you. “ you guys can head home” he starts and you flinch when his arm wraps gently around your waist to walk the both of you out of the cafe.

“I can handle it from here”

7:46 pm

“I can handle it from here”

Joon smiled down at you who was struggling to lock the store’s back door. You were in the middle of a mini-mental breakdown, when your husband appeared from upstairs and offered to take over. “ Joonie!” you greeted before blushing . “ I uh…couldn't get the door to close” you let out a nervous laugh and stepped back leaving a space for him to come between.

“ you have me come lock this for you all the time- I don't know how you still get nervous to ask” he chuckled before bracing his hands on one of the handles. His arms stiffened, pushing forward while pressuring the door inwards. He lifts it up just a bit and “ Ta-Da!….once again” Joon forces the door in place. “My big strong hero” you beam standing up on your toes, pecking the cute dimple on his cheek and then his lips.

The memory plays in your mind when you realize you weren’t in your bookstore and that that had been the last time a good moment happened between you two. instead you were currently seated in Namjoon’s car driving right past the very place. The silence wasn’t awkward, though it was anything but comfortable. Every now and then you would glance Over to your husband to find him glaring permanently down the road. His hands wrapped tightly around his steering wheel when he makes a left down an unfamiliar road.

You frown ,looking out your side to see stores and homes you’ve never passed before. You then look back over to your husband “ this isn’t our way home…” you say but each word got weak the moment his hard eyes looked your way. You swallowed, your stomach turning from the multiple emotions of your husband’s attitude. You cross your legs and suddenly your fingers looking very interesting. Okay now the silence was awkward and uncomfortable.

“Not going home” he muttered “ If we go home , those two will come bother us” . He then glanced at you eyes no longer livid but there was definitely another intimidating emotion within them “ I don’t want anyone interrupting us”

“Where are you taking me namjoon?” You asked nervously. You just couldn’t help it, normally you’d follow him anywhere -no hesitation and no questions. Albeit that was when you had trust for him and he was never this angry with you.

Namjoon himself , noticed this. he was used to whisking you off somewhere, always surprising you with little romantic dates or just small getaways and You’d sit peacefully beside him, smiling like crazy because you knew exactly what kind of evening was in store. But now you were timid , shrinking back the second he even looked your way. He doesn’t answer you, refusing to talk to you anymore than he already did and for the umpteenth time that evening your heart sunk in your chest.

Eventually, he pulls up to a new location and you do as he does, getting out of the car. You then follow him up a driveway and through a path of a comfortable white house. It wasn’t small but it also wasn't too big -a whole family could definitely live in it.

“Joon who’s house is this?” You ask ,stopping suddenly in your tracks. You’ve never seen or heard of this house before, but it was beautiful. You hadn’t even walked inside and you immediately fell in love with it. namjoon takes out his keys to open the door, ignoring your question. He unlocks it , standing aside patiently, in which you assumed it was for you to go in.

Its dark. All the lights were off you very faintly make out all the objects that was probably making up the living area. You noticed the picture sitting at a table near the big white couch on your left. You aim for it, Hands picking it up so gently and that's when the lights come on.

You gasp.

“Do you like it?” You suddenly hear your husband’s voice. You turn to him behind you , he stood leaning back on the door ,arms crossed, eyes not longer cold but warily hopeful.

“I-“ you look back down to the picture of you and him on your wedding day. It was you gazing up loving at him in your white wedding dress, while one of his hands cupped your cheek ready to kiss his bride. Your eyes began to water…

“I don’t know what's happening, why is our picture here?” You looked at him confused. What was he trying to do?

“4 years ago today, I told you how deeply in love I am with you ...how perfect you are for me. I promised you that I would never make you feel like you weren’t enough….it seems I somehow managed to break that” he bites his lip “ YN despite everything thats happened, I don't feel any different and I never did. You're still perfect to me… I didn’t cheat on you.”

Namjoon walks up to you but slowly “ this house is for us. I bought it about a year ago, these past few weeks I was here getting it furnished, but it's not the only reason I was gone” he finally reaches you grabbing both your hands in his and you hesitate a bit. He breathes “ Mina and Kai are divorced…a few weeks ago she came to ask you for help. You weren’t home so I told her no for you. Instead I took your place”

He saw you getting ready to protest but quickly explains his reason “ I didn’t want you in the middle of that. I don’t know if you remember but you were the one that was affected most by their marriage. I didn’t want all those years of you rebuilding yourself to go to waste if you got involved. So in return, I asked for her to help with the house - our house. Also…I just -I guess a little part of me was scared you’d pounce on the chance of kai being single again.”

And with that ,You rip hands away immediately “pounce on him?, namjoon why would I leave the perfect guy for the exact opposite?” You wanted to yell at him. You just couldn't understand how he could still feel like you would choose someone like kai over him. He looked down and for a good second he looked like he wanted to cry again. Your animosity towards him began to die down when he utters his next words.

“Im sorry but im not perfect YN- look what I did to you, I made you so sad that you don't trust me anymore, I made you so angry y-you actually hit me.” He said so low but you heard loud enough as if he yelled it. You shake your head ,regret and a lot of guilt flowing through you.

He blamed himself …for your ignorance.

“I shouldn’t have done that - no matter how angry I was - joonie I shouldn’t have hit you.” You walk up to him wrapping your arms around his waist while he stood still in your embrace, your head resting comfortably on his chest and you could hear how fast his heart was beating. Still just for you…

“I am so ...so sorry namjoon. I don't care if you cheat on me with 5 girls. I will never put my hands on you again. I was wrong, not you” your emotions poured out of you and you hoped he would forgive you.

“We were both wrong” he concluded, engulfing you in an even bigger hug than you were giving him. “And we’re both not perfect” you retorted. The both of you stood there, embracing long awaited warmth of each other.

“How long has it been since I’ve held you in my arms like this?” He mumbles with his cheek pressed to the top of your head.

“Too long…” you reply bitterly before looking up to his eyes. There is a slight pause just before his lips touch down gently to yours in a sweet kiss. At first there is no tongue, no aggressiveness- just a slow passion of finally having you all to himself again. When he feels you relax into him, he then deepens the kiss. hugging you tighter and letting out a long groan of satisfaction.

After nearly five minutes of making out , he pulls away from you, breathing heavily and leaving you in a euphoric daze. “ I want to start a family….” he huffs out and you snap back into reality immediately.

“W-what?” You swallow.

“ this house…I didn’t just get it because I wanted it for you and me YN. I.. wanted it for us and our kids” he looks around the room roaming over the cream colored walls and then back you.

The smile on his face then falters and you guessed it was because your’s was emotionless.

“YN? …babe please say something-“ he tries but you stop him.

“ no, no - just give me a second” you swallow once again to let your brain process everything this man was telling you. He bought this house for you, you and him, your family. A loving warmth grows in your heart when you remember the words he said to you 4 years ago.

“I can give you everything, if you let me”

“So let me get this straight. “ you started “You didn’t cheat on me, you bought this house, and you want little copies of us” you motioned between the two of you “-two adult fuck up-running around said house?” You nearly squeaked.

“Oh my god , you’re serious?” You say incredulously with a wry smile etched into your face.

Namjoon bites back his. “ im serious about everything I say when it comes to you YN” his hands fell on your hips and he pulls you closer, letting you feel just how serious he was.

And boy was he.

Your thighs instantly clamp together. Just the thought of him getting hard from the idea of you having his kids , makes you yourself wet. “So..when did you want to start?” You lick your lips , mouth suddenly feeling dry. The loving gaze he’d once had set on you turning into a dark one.

he leans in, making your faces only inches apart “Oh you know , anytime you want really. It could be next week…..tomorrow-” he pecks your lips , nipping at the bottom one before tugging on it between his own “right now” he says huskily, already backing up into what you assume was the white couch.

He falls back bringing you with him and you yelp before giggling in surprise. It doesn’t last long when he lifts your lips to his in heated kiss. You crawl up on him , straddling him so that your clothed heat pushes against his erection. He moans softly , already tugging on the bands of your pants impatiently.

You pulled back , reaching for his shirt and he sits up slightly to pull it over his head. Namjoon then falls back down running his hands up your thighs and finally reaching your shirt to do the same and then your bra. He brings you back into him , attacking you with his mouth, leading slowly down your neck. He stops just above where your shoulder connects and nearly pouts that the last mark has disappeared. Oh well he could change that…

He kisses the spot but only to suck on it hard , releasing a satisfied moan from you. “Joonie…” you breathed loudly, your hands run through his hair when his head dips lower repeating the same process down the valley of your breasts. The grip he has on your ass tightens and he didn’t think he could wait much longer.

Namjoon stands, his hands flying for the button of your jeans and you let him tug them gently down your legs along with your underwear. He pecks your inner thigh and you watch him breathless when he rises to undo his own. No matter how many times you had been together you always find yourself mesmerized whenever your husband’s thick length springs free from his briefs.

His body crashes into yours and before you could process what was happening - he’d already had you pinned down into the couch with him on top of you “ wait right here? On this couch?” You paused heart beating faster than before when it dawned on you just exactly where you and namjoon were about to try for a baby. “YN, its our house I can fuck you wherever I want” he chuckles but underneath his humor, you see how uncomfortably ready he was to continue.

He hadnt had sex in weeks so the last thing he needed was you asking him questions about your actions in a new area. “You sure the owner won't be mad at us?” You teased him , lifting your hips just a bit to nudge yourself on him. He exhales dipping his hips for more pressure “he insists” he says finally.

“ okay” you whisper before parting your thighs wider for him . He braces one hand by your head , kissing you slowly while his cock begins to slide into you the same. He stretches you, filling your pussy all the way even surpassing your g spot and your back arches “y-yes, god yes!” you cry out in pleasure while his hips pull back before snapping harshly into you. He repeats this multiple times , pulling out all the way before fucking deep into you with one swift motion. Each stroke gave you so much pleasure and each one taking your breath away.

This was when you realized he was making love to you. Taking his time to show you just how much he missed you .“ I promise I’ll never stay away that long again baby- fuuck- you feel even better than before” he praises you , landing another powerful thrust and you head flys back. “Angh….joon…angh deeper please!” you begged him , hips bucking to his trying to coax him into going a bit fast . But he doesn't - he continues to take slow controlled thrusts- even lifting your left leg during the process.

This goes on for a while and you could feel your release ready to hit you any moment. Namjoon could tell you were close and so was he. He swirled his hips stroking just a bit faster to feel your legs begin to shake and your tight walls clamp around him. “ Joon -oh …faster!” You writhed under him needing the friction.

“ fuck me faster please -im so close…..so so close!” Your head shoots for the crook of his neck when the familiar sweet burn erupts from pit of your core and fires all over your body. It shakes you and you buck uncontrollably while your eyes roll back in pleasure. Your nails digging deep into his shoulder blades and namjoon thrusts a few more times before his equally as powerful release shoots into you at an alarming rate.

“Fuck YN !, fuck baby I love you so much” he breathes, finally collapsing on top of you from the most intense orgasms you’d ever had. He slips out of you and you whimper “I love you too joonie”

he stays resting between your legs. It feels like hours go by with the both you lying peacefully still and exhausted by each other. Namjoon’s head lays comfortably on your bare chest when he speaks “ if we have a girl…I hope she looks just like you” he mumbled. You smile and you heart flutters the man’s words . You thought if you had a son you did want him to just take his father’s looks.

“ If we have a boy…I hope he’s just as perfect as you”

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twinkletoes-rp · 4 years

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6, 7, 19, 20, 30, 31, 32, 39, 40, 41, 43, 44, 45, 51 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

Fanfiction Questions meme

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Oh, geez... I’ve been involved in so many fandoms, LOL. I don’t really know if I can/should name them all. I’ll give you the ones (ONLY OTPs - doesn’t mean I don’t ship other things, too) I can think of off the top of my head.

Kiba/Hinata (Naruto), Fakir/Ahiru (Princess Tutu), Stiles/Derek (Teen Wolf), Kirito/Lisbeth (Sword Art Online), Harry/Hermione (Harry Potter), Goku/Bulma (Dragon Ball), Yusuke/Botan (Yu Yu Hakusho), Todoroki/Izuku (BNHA), (better!)Bakugo/Uraraka (BNHA), Toph/Aang (ATLA), and Adrien/Marinette (Miraculous Ladybug)!

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

(This isn’t meant to be hate on the ships I name! I just don’t ship them, that’s all! Ship and let ship! ;))

Naruto/Sasuke (Naruto), Kirito/Asuna (Sword Art Online), Ron/Hermione (Harry Potter), Harry/Ginny (Harry Potter), Goku/Chichi (Dragon Ball), Yusuke/Keiko (Yu Yu Hakusho), Bakugo/Izuku (BNHA), and Aang/Katara (ATLA).

19. Is there a ship (in your current fandom) which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

I’m not sure I have a ‘current fandom’ since I live��for, like, everything at once, but maybe technically Naruto would be it?

In that case (again, no offense to anyone - and removing the ‘I wish I could get behind’ part ‘cause I do not), NaruSasu. I just...don’t get it? At all? Maybe it’s the ‘what could have been’s or whatever, but when you just take the series at face value, that relationship is...really icky, at least to me, and that’s putting it lightly. It’s so damn unhealthy, especially for poor Naruto. They were never even friends, Sasuke always treated him like shit, and yet...?! *throws hands at half+ of OG series and virtually all of Shippuden* IDK, man. Something’s weird there, and I don’t like it. Can’t support that. Naruto deserves better, damn it. (*casually links her Naruto AU fic where he DOES get better (in more ways than one), TYVM*)

20. Any ships (in your current fandom) which you surprised yourself by liking?

Going with Naruto again, so. Hmm... I guess maybe Kankuro/Tenten? I didn’t even know that was a ship until a friend showed me a really good fic, and I was hooked! lol.

Another might be KakaObi, but only in AUs where Obito survives the cave in and gets out with Kakashi and Rin and recovers, continuing to be the sweetheart he is instead of the ass he turned out to be in canon. Because he, too, deserved better, damn it!

Another is one I might have made up, not sure (mostly in the context of my Naruto AU, NGL), lol: Karin/Shikamaru! It makes sense and there are lots of compelling reasons when you break it down! You know, 'cause Shikamaru would need (or probs at least prefer) someone on his smarts level, and she's a genius, too, just in a different way. And once she mellows out, Karin's really cool, and (in my AU) she grows to eventually adore Naruto (actually fights to defend/protect him in the Pein arc!), and anyone who loves Naruto is good in Shikamaru's book! lol. Plus, she can tell him when he has his genius brain twisted in too many directions, tell him he's being an idiot and help him figure things out in her different way. lol. IDK, I like it!

30. What inspires you to write?

I just...love writing?? I’ve wanted to be an author since I was 8-9 years old, started writing when I was 11, and I’ve been writing ever since! I’m 27 now! I’ve had a few dry spells, ofc, but I always end up coming back! I just feel like writing is in my blood (partly because, I like to joke, my last name is the title of one of Shakespeare’s plays, haha)!

Pretty much anything can inspire me to write, though. I’ll see a pretty flower and be like “OOH, that flower could feature perfectly in this chapter in this way!” and then write 1k about that! lol. Or I could read a review of one of my new chapters and end up thinking of something I’d never considered before and then write almost 3k on that alone (looking at you, middle section of Ch 6 of my Naruto AU, lol)!

Basically, if it sparks joy, I’m gonna write something! X’D

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

Nicest?? Hmm... I mean, I’ve had a lot of things said about my writing... Not sure I can really narrow it down? lol.

I guess the nicest things I’ve ever been told are when I make people cry (espec multiple times!) and actually feel the emotions the characters are feeling, that the characters and their development feel so real that it’s like they’re real people instead of fictional/they’re written so much better than the creator himself wrote them. (Been getting those a lot on my Naruto AU, actually. lol.)

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

I tend to prefer silence while I write, but sometimes, my house is loud and people keep breaking my concentration (house of 5, lots of animals, not the quietest, lol), I sometimes listen to music. I usually prefer instrumental, and then usually Naruto or Wolf’s Rain (sometimes Princess Tutu, too) instrumental tracks. The Naruto one I like best also has rain sounds mixed in, which is great because I love the sound of rain! Woo! (Here’s a link to that one if anyone else wants in on this! ;))

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

Emotions and getting into the nitty-gritty stuff therein. As an extremely visual, emotional writer, I’ve always been able to feel the emotions of the characters pretty much exactly how they’re feeling it in the moment and then put it on paper. I also make people cry a lot with my writing and get them to feel what the characters do, so that’s awesome! It’s always my goal to get my readers to feel things because then I feel like they’ve really connected with the story and characters I’ve written!

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Transitions are dicks. Sometimes I struggle ‘cause it’s been, like, two seconds or five hours, and I don’t know how to show that, lol. If I can, espec with the last one, I just fade to black. lol.

Also, sometimes I feel like I use the same sentence structure a lot, mostly the ‘..., but...’ format (at least lately). It’s really annoying, and I worry my readers notice and get annoyed/think I suck because of it. lol.

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

“All the ways I say ‘I love you’” by Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 (Fandom: Ninjago)

“Paradise Lost” by AnchoredTether (Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender (Zootopia-esque dark AU))

“where my armor ends” by dalniente (Fandom: She-Ra Princesses of Power)

“of cats and curses” by faerialchemist (Fandom: She-Ra Princesses of Power x Fruits Basket crossover)

“Mischief is its Own Reward” by dalniente (Fandom: Megamind)

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

I don’t really read Naruto fanfic too much anymore, so like...I guess, technically, another main fandom of mine right now is Fruits Basket, so: without a doubt, @kyosohmastan ! They’re my absolute favorite Fruits Basket fanfic author! Everyone’s so in character, the writing is so sweet and feelsy, steamy when it needs to be, and I really love the writing itself - it’s just so well done and beautiful and I die happily when they post a new fic or chapter? Ahhh! Plus, they’re just so nice and talented in so many ways, we have the same opinions on certain things (like Kakeru Manabe is Too Much(TM) for us, haha, no offense to those who like him! lol.), and I just really, really feel blessed to know and read their fics! Love them so! <3

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

I’m not sure which ship this is talking about? Hmm... But a ship I definitely think (have always thought) needs more attention is Kirito/Lisbeth from Sword Art Online! It’s so slept on, and that is a damn fucking shame because they’re so healthy and sweet and have so much more amazing potential than they’re given credit for (way freaking more than the actual canon couple, just sayin’, no offense to anyone who likes the pairing)! I have written a good few metas (and a fanfic) on the subject (some/most of which are on my Lisbeth RP blog, actually, lol)! If anyone wants to discuss/RP/anything involving this ship, please let me know! Would love it!

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

I’m not sure I have a favorite fic. But one that I always come back to (all of her (mostly G1) My Little Pony fics, actually - first found them when I was, like, 12, and have kept rereading over and over through the years, haha) is A Mother in Her Eyes by LoveLikeElena on FFN. It takes place in the author’s own MLP universe, but I love said universe so much, and her takes on the characters are amazing and so sweet! I love her look at the serious subjects that follow the characters through her ongong MLP series! <3

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Fanfic readers have become really, really lazy. No one reviews anymore, maybe leave a kudos here and there if you’re lucky (I have a major love-hate (more hate) relationship with kudos...), and it’s so, so, so discouraging to us writers! I wish they knew how it felt, to be honest, espec the ones you know are reading, but just...don’t comment. It’s ridiculously disheartening to work so hard on something for days, weeks, even months or years on something, only to get basically nothing in return. It’s like posting into the void, and it sucks ass. It’s part of what made me quit writing for a good few years, actually, and I’m so sad to see that it’s still a thing. I comment on everything I read because I know how it feels and how much it hurt! It hurts like hell, especially because I remember how it used to be just 6-8 years ago when everyone commented! I desperately pray the fanfic/content consuming world fixes that really soon or we might lose some really amazing writers! Please, even an emoji or keyboard smash! I don’t care, I’ll take anything (and I know I’m not the only one)! <3

#answer #dancibayo

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coollyinterferes · 4 years

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SPEED: One of the first things you need to know if you’re interacting with me or plan to do so is that I’m slow, and I really mean slow, with any and all of my replies. It can take from minutes/hours to days, weeks, sometimes even a month or so. It always depends on a variety of things, and how real life is going at the moment, as I tend to get busy at times, and also my mental health is not always at it’s best (as you know, I tend to go through episodes of anxiety and/or depression p often, and that usually ends up affecting my activity here) and I also happen to get distracted a lot sometimes. Add the issue I’ve been dealing with this past month with my laptop on top of all that, too orz

REPLIES: I tend to miss some sometimes when tumblr’s notifs fail and I don’t have them on my tracker yet, or when the tracker is not working properly (like it was some time ago). I try to get to them as soon as I can when I see them. There are times some threads pique my muse’s interest more than others and, as such, he will bug me and make sure we get to those asap. As stated in the rules, it’s nothing personal, just a matter of the muse currently being more invested into those threads/replies. In regards of content: I always try to make sure I’m giving my partners something they can work with for their reply and to keep the ball rolling and the interest on the thread alive. However, I can’t do this alone, and I expect my partners to do their part on this. Being forced to carry all the weight of a thread sucks all the fun out of it, so if you ever feel like I’m failing to do my part on this, please, please! let me know so I can fix that as soon as I can!

STARTERS: I’m not great at them, which is why I tend to go with small ic posts every now and then that serve as “open starters” of sorts. This does not mean that I won’t write you a starter if you’d like one from me, though! All you need to do is let me know you want one or, alternatively, write me one and tag me in it if that feels best for you. We can always plot something for it. It doesn’t have to be super in-depth. We can just set the outlines and go from there, if that’s best (I’d actually appreciate some input if you happen to have a muse from a different jojo part/fandom, or an OC, this to make something we’re both equally comfortable with).

INBOX: My ask box is open all the time. Anon is on, too. Anything and everything is welcome, save for anon hate and stuff of the likes of it that no one wants to see (and as long as its within the rules, of course). If you ever want to send your muse over here, you can do it anytime! Same if you ever have any questions, if there's anything you want to know about my muse, anything you'd like to ask him about other muses, about his relationships with them and so on. Crack-ish, serious, angsty, etc. The possibilities are endless. And, as stated before, anon is on, so if that's best for you, you can always go with that! I'm a bit slow replying to asks sometimes, but I try to get to everything as soon as I can. I rarely ever delete asks so, if I haven’t replied to yours one way or another, then it most likely means that either tungle ate it, or it failed to notify me about it orz

SELECTIVITY: I'm pretty flexible on this and I'm open to interactions with pretty much anyone and everyone regardless of their writing/rp style and so on. I don't always follow everyone back, mainly cause I try to keep a somewhat uncluttered dash. As stated in the rules, I usually don't follow back personal/non-rp accounts or accounts that post a lot of personal/non-rp posts (I sometimes follow some of these personals/non-rp accounts from my personal, though), blogs that don't trim their threads (2 or 3 blockquotes are fine, but more than that not so much) and etc. However, none of this will affect any possible interactions as I'm always open for interactions with mutuals AND non-mutuals.

WISHLIST: There are a few things I've always wanted to try my hand at rp-wise. I've always wanted to explore more of Robert's past, from his childhood to his days as a gangleader. This can be done in different ways, especially if we happen to go with something more "EoH-like" or set in different verses, or even AUs, or with muses that may have known him around that time and etc. Speaking of AUs, I’d also like to explore some of my AUs (the vampire AU, mainly). Another thing in my wishlist that probably comes as no surprise at all would be the chance to roleplay some jonawagon and/or some jonaeri+jonawagon. Like, yeah, it's true that Robert truly fell head over heels for that big bara guy the moment he kicked his face, but I'd really like to explore their relationship as a whole, to see some of the development they had in canon through all those months of peace that came after that horrid battle in Windknight’s Lot, to see them captivating each other and realize that "shit, this is not just some childish infatuation like i thought it was", that it's the real deal, something much deeper than anyone would’ve expected, to see them come to terms with this “obscene” relationship, to see them deal with and overcome the obstacles and issues that being gay in Victorian England carried, and see them go from friends to something else. To see them get intimate, but not only in a sexual/sensual way, but also like sharing all sorts of intimate moments together, opening themselves to each other. To explore all the good but also all the not-so-good in their relationship, to explore all those sad and bitter moments they spent together, healing together, trying to overcome their traumas together, from those they acquired together since that day the stone mask changed their lives to all the heavy baggage they have both been dragging along since their childhoods, and so on. All those aspects that aren't always explored or even talked about when it comes to the ship as a whole and see them have the long happy lives and the happy ending they deserved either as a couple or as a polycule (in the case of jonaeri+jonawagon). In regards of relationships (and this includes romantic relationships with other characters/muses), I'd like to continue seeing Robert develop relationships and forming bonds of all kinds with other muses as well, especially with muses from part 1, since I've rarely ever had the chance to interact with many since I made this blog about 3 years ago. Some romance is always appreciated since Robert is a bit too much of a romantic fool when he's in lerv, but I'm always open to all sorts of bonds and relationships -platonic, romantic, familial, hateships, etc-.

HONEST NOTE: I'm shy and a lot of times I find it a bit hard to socialize or i plain out don't know what to say (and language barriers sometimes get in the way, too), but I always try my best to keep a conversation going if I feel the other person is interested in it as well -else I’ll feel like I’m boring them to death and won’t say much more :’D-. It might take me a while to figure out what to say and build up the courage to talk to you first, but please never hesitate to reach out to me if you ever want to talk, even if it's just about our muses or about any plot ideas, headcanons, to share some plot bunnies and so on. Same if you ever want to send your muse our way! It doesn’t matter if we haven’t interacted before. Just like with every other reply from me tho, I tend to be slow (and forgetful, too), but I try to get to everything as soon as I can. That said, please never worry about taking your time to write a reply for me, be it ic or ooc. I understand and would never get mad at you for it.

tagged by: speeb sees, speeb steals >:jc ( stolen from @shabcn and @jojoingjoseph ) tagging: I’ve seen this on the dash a few times today, so idk who’s done it already and who hasn’t so, if you see this and want to give it a shot, consider yourself tagged!

#;psa #(?#[might rb later since some bits here i think are important to be kept in mind and stuff]#[but it's late and the dash seems a bit dead atm]#[and idk how many will see it ddfgfhgjh]#[for now i'll see if i can coax robbo to do some replies]#[won't promise much tho]

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k-popscenxrios · 5 years

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Didn’t Ask For This Pt 14 (Roommate!JK x OC)

A/N: So! I’ve written some JK POV, but I wrote it in the third person! I tried it in first person, but it just felt like I was writing from Ari’s POV to me. I feel like it’s less confusing in third person! Anyway, the story, if it goes as planned, has two or three parts after this one! I’m getting seriously sad about it honestly. I’m going to miss this story so dang much!!!!

Summary: “I didn’t know you hated me so much,” he spoke as he grabbed my wrist and once again turned me around to face him, “and quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve done anything horrible enough for you to hate me to the degree that you do.” “You say that like the hate isn’t mutual,” I remarked as he shook his head. There was a bitter smile on his face as he took a deep breath, “I think you are quite honestly one of the worst human beings I’ve had to come in contact with.”

5k words | drama/angst ✞ | fluff ♡ | mature themes ✗

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Finale

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

(This gif loads for me on mobile but doesn’t on pc and idk how to fix it!! Sorry ;( )

*Third Person POV*

Jungkook had been wrong many times before, but nothing has made him feel so completely and utterly guilty. He played their argument in his head over and over again, each time feeling worse and worse. He was so worked up, and he let his anger get the best of him.

He finally pulled into the parking lot of the diner he and Soomin had agreed on over the phone. He couldn’t believe that he was doing this, but he had good intentions. The girl just would not stop messaging him for the two of them to meet up.

Walking into the diner, he could feel his nerves spike. All he was thinking about was RaeAri. He couldn’t stop thinking about her face when he walked out the door. Her sad and broken expression had him in the worst mood. He was driving himself crazy thinking about her. Why couldn’t he think about the good things like her smile and her laugh. He was trying to force himself to reflect on the good things, but that backfired on him really quick when he felt discomfort in his lower region.

Soomin was quick to excitedly wave him down as he felt his throat close in. This wasn’t gonna be fun…

“Hey Jungkookie!” she smiled as he silently sat down, not giving her much of a smile to greet her, “I’m glad you contacted me.”

“Mm,” He nodded, swallowing as he tried to shove the thoughts of RaeAri out of his head. He wasn’t meeting Soomin for the reasons that RaeAri would assume if she found out… He couldn’t help but weigh himself down just at the thought of RaeAri finding out about him meeting Soomin.

Since Taehyung knew about them meeting up, there was no way that Ari wasn’t going to find out. The thought was making him sick… He wanted her to get jealous over him, but now he just feels like a huge jerk.

“So I was wondering,” Soomin snapped him out of his thoughts as Jungkook’s eyes locked onto hers. “I know it’s a little soon to bring this up, but I’m just really excited.”

Jungkook raised a brow, his interest peaking slightly. He shouldn’t have been surprised that she was about to talk about something relatively serious considering how much she’s been pestering him over social media.

“Are you considering this a date?” She asked, her eyes wide with curiosity and, quite frankly, delusion. Jungkook’s curiosity shifted to confusion before a humorless smile appeared on his face.

“What? No,” he shook his head, very blunt with his answer, “That’s not what this is.”

Soomin’s smile slowly faded, not very subtle with her disappointment. “Well it’s very misleading. I’ve been asking you to go on a date with me for a while now, and you calling me today made this seem like a date.”

“I hate to break it to you, but this is far from a date,” Jungkook laughed, “I called you to come out here so that I could tell you to stop it with the messages.”

Soomin frowned at his answer, but he wasn’t backing down, “Why did that warrant meeting me like this? You could have just texted me.”

It was growing tense as Jungkook swallowed and looked down at the table. The short answer was that he was trying to make RaeAri jealous, but that wasn’t going to make Soomin any happier. “There’s more, of course. I called you here to tell you why I want you to leave me alone.”

Soomin’s frown didn’t shift as she just watched Jungkook with an almost pouty face. He couldn’t believe that RaeAri could actually put up with such an… annoying and bitchy girl. He also couldn’t believe that he slept with this girl.

“I also came to apologize.”

The words felt wrong coming out of his mouth as he suppressed the cringe he felt trying to break through.

Soomin’s eyebrows raised and her mood shifted as Jungkook sighed. He wanted more than anything to just rush out of the diner without saying anything more, but RaeAri’s words kept him here. He wanted to do this for her. He had to do this for her.

“I’m sorry for what I did to you,” he didn’t truly feel sorry, but it was the thought that counts, right? “You may have done a scummy thing to me, but I’m sorry for doing something as equally scummy to you.”

Soomin’s face was soft and her eyes were smiling. Jungkook couldn’t help but see RaeAri’s smile when looking at Soomin. He’d kill to see that smile on her again… He was sick of being so mad at her…

“Wow,” she spoke with shock in her tone as Jungkook looked down at the table, “I wasn’t expecting that. I’m impressed…”

“I’m not trying to impress you,” Jungkook clarified as Soomin just rolled her eyes at him.

“Look, I’m into you, but I’m not stupid,” she crossed her arms and leaned them on the table, “Tell me what you’re here for. It’s kinda hard to get over a guy if I spend too much time with him.”

“Trust me, I’ll make this short,” Jungkook reassured with a nod as he swallowed and looked down at the table. He was about to open his mouth to try and start with his second point, but he was cut off when a waitress walked up to the two of them to take their drink orders.

They were quick to order drinks and clarify that they were only here for a short time. The waitress nodded and walked off with their orders, bringing their drinks only moments later.

“Anyway, go on,” Soomin gestured before taking a sip of her Coke.

Jungkook took a deep breath as he racked his brain for the right words. He should just be straight to the point, no matter how surprised or hurt she may seem.

“I’m in love with Ari,” Jungkook opted for the shortest possible way to break the news as Soomin looked like she was about to spit her soda out of her mouth. She looked completely flabbergasted at the reveal as she struggled to swallow her drink.

“I’m sorry?” She was almost rude with her tone which made Jungkook’s eyebrows raise.

“You heard me,” he narrowed his eyes at just how surprised she seemed.

“Like, don’t get me wrong, Ari’s my friend, but really?” she laughed, causing Jungkook’s blood to boil.

“Yes, really,” his voice was getting strained as he was getting increasingly upset. This girl was RaeAri’s “friend”? He was finding it harder and harder to believe.

“She has no sex appeal. How could she get a player type like you to fall for her?” Soomin asked, her smile dying down to become a serious expression, “Like I’m sorry, but she’s never even had a boyfriend.”

“That means nothing to me,” Jungkook shook his head, “I didn’t fall for her because of her experience.”

“Clearly.”

Jungkook looked up at the ceiling as he felt his anger getting the best of him. He was calmly explaining why he was rejecting her and yet she’s over here pissing him off with these comments. If RaeAri were to hear these coming out of Soomin’s mouth, she would be so… hurt. He couldn’t bare for her to get hurt again after what he’s done to her.

“Okay, listen here, Soomin,” Jungkook spat as Soomin’s eyes were quick to widen, “Ari treated me like shit for the first couple weeks because of what I did to you in high school. I had to endure all her insults that were fueled by what happened with the two of us, and I couldn’t say one goddamn word to her. It killed me to know how much she hated me because of you, but despite all of that, I still apologized to you. You have no right to be a bitch toward your friend who held a grudge against me for you.”

“I didn’t ask her to do that,” Soomin was quick to defend as her voice shifted to concern and guilt, “I had no ill feelings towards you for that. I always wanted to apologize to you for ruining what we could have had.”

“What we could have had?” Jungkook laughed with disbelief, “Do you have such a big head to think I wanted anything with you? I slept with you because that’s who I was in high school. I don’t do that shit to girls anymore. I didn’t sleep with Ari because I just wanted a release, I did it because I fucking love her, got it?”

Soomin was rendered speechless for several seconds as she just stared at Jungkook with wide eyes. He thought that she might keep her big mouth shut for longer than just a couple seconds, but she was quick to break his hopes.

“You and Ari slept together?”

...Whoops…

Jungkook felt panic rise in his chest for letting his anger tell too much truth to Soomin. He let Soomin know before Taehyung even found out… That detail wasn’t supposed to be revealed…

“Yeah,” Jungkook looked down, trying to sound like he was still mad and not petrified over the fact that Soomin now knows too much, “We are together.”

He wasn’t sure if he was making anything better.

“You weren’t when you two were yelling at each other like a week ago,” Soomin observed as Jungkook sighed and looked down.

“We got together just a couple days ago,” he spoke as Soomin looked up in disbelief. Her friend RaeAri made Jungkook fall for her? Jeon Jungkook? It just didn’t make any sense.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you. If Taehyung tells me it’s true, I’ll believe you,” Soomin shakes her head and started to pull out her phone. Jungkook’s panic rose as he felt worry build up in his chest. He has royally screwed up now.

“No, no,” Jungkook shook his head, “No. Taehyung doesn’t know. We haven’t told him yet.”

Soomin looked up at Jungkook as she sighed and shook her head, “Sounds too convenient for you.”

“Why don’t you ask Ari?” he tried to derail her as she seemed to be typing a text out, “She’ll confirm it with you.”

Soomin glanced up at Jungkook and shook her head, “Okay, fine. I won’t text anyone about this. I may be a bitch, but Ari is still my friend. If your story is true, I wouldn’t want to be the bearer of bad news. I’ll let you deal with that train wreck yourself.”

She put her phone down as Jungkook sighed, “I don’t know what you think I have to gain from lying about something like this. I love Ari, and she loves me.”

They intently stared each other down for several seconds as Jungkook felt his nerves calm down. He felt his stress levels nearly double because of Soomin’s threat of texting Taehyung.

“You’re right,” she nodded, “I just can’t… believe it. Ari’s the kind of girl who I thought would find her a timid guy. I always saw her with someone like that Yoongi guy she’s friends with. I could even see her with that Hoseok guy you were friends with.”

Jungkook had to keep his jealousy in check over Soomin’s words. She just had to bring that guy into it! He was sick of hearing his name! And he was certainly sick of hearing everyone talk about how much of a great match RaeAri and Hoseok would be. RaeAri is his. She belongs to him, and him alone.

“Well she’s got me instead,” Jungkook tried to not be too snappy with his words, but he failed. “And I’m sick of hearing about how much she would match up with other guys. She doesn’t need anyone else.”

Soomin looked down into her nearly empty cup as a small laugh left her mouth.

“You might not be my first choice for her,” Soomin said in thought as she started to drum her fingers on the table, “But I’m sure you two could figure something out.”

Once I stepped back into the theater, I stared Jungkook’s contact down really hard. I had no idea what to say to him or what he wanted to say to me…

As I pressed the call button, I felt my nerves spike. I wasn’t completely ready to talk to Jungkook because I was shaken up, but I didn’t have much time to think before I heard the phone being answered.

“Where are you?” Jungkook opened up the phone call with that question as I raised my eyebrows.

“What do you mean? You know I’m at work,” I spoke with a confused voice. I walked toward the back room and opened the door, hoping to get some privacy for our conversation. I stepped into the back and turned to move towards the table we have near the computer, but I froze when my eyes met the eyes of the man I was speaking to.

“Jungkook?” I couldn’t believe that he was really there. I could hardly believe that he was talking to me on the phone, but now he just shows up to work like this? I wasn’t sure whether to be nervous or happy, so I just ended up being a mixture of both.

“Where the hell were you?” He asked, his voice shaking slightly, “I looked in every theater and even went to the fast food buildings across the parking lot.”

“Jungkook,” I spoke in a calm voice as he seemed to try to calm himself down. “I think the person who really needs to do the explaining is you. I want to know where you went and why you met up with Soomin.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened in surprise and almost guilt as I continued looking at him. He didn’t seem to know what to say, but that didn’t surprise me.

“H-he told you?” he sounded worried as I just nodded.

“Of course he did. Did you really think that Taehyung wouldn’t tell me?” I asked, taking a step closer to him. I didn’t like how… distant we felt in this moment. It was causing my heart to squeeze in pain.

“L-Look, Ari,” Jungkook seemed to grow increasingly nervous as I took another step closer to him, “Nothing happened, really. I just met with her because she’s been pissing me off with constant messages about wanting to meet up. I simply wanted to tell her to shove off.”

I felt a sigh release as I realized I was holding my breath. A soft smile appeared on my face despite how much he deserved a slap for the drama he caused this morning.

“You were just making me so mad this morning that I tried to make you jealous in return… I just-” He stopped himself as I once more took another step closer to him, “I know I did it for selfish reasons, and I’m sorry. I’m so Goddamn sorry.”

I couldn’t hold back my emotions anymore as I jumped forward, wrapping my arms around his torso and pulling his body against mine. I hadn’t hugged him in what felt like forever, and I didn’t realize how much I had missed it until this moment.

My heart jumped as Jungkook was quick to return the hug. I swallowed and took a deep breath to breathe in his scent, and I heard Jungkook chuckle in his throat over it.

“I love you,” Jungkook whispered as I hugged him even tighter to me. “I can’t stay mad at you and I certainly don’t want you to be mad at me. I’m such an idiot, really.”

I nodded into his chest in agreement, “You definitely are an idiot. But you’re my idiot, got it?”

Jungkook nodded into my hair as I felt him place a kiss on my ear. I shivered at the contact as he snickered in my ear.

“I love you, too,” I smiled before slightly pulling away from the hug. My eyes locked onto his and Jungkook was quick to break that contact. His eyes closed as he leaned in to me and pressed a firm kiss on my lips. My heartbeat increased as I felt his lips moving against mine, and I couldn’t help but sigh. I leaned into him further to add a little more pressure to the kiss before I briefly pulled away to look into his eyes.

“I want to tell Taehyung about us.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows raised in surprise, “Where did this sudden change in attitude come from?”

I just shrugged and smiled, not daring to mention Hoseok after all of this. Jungkook looked to be in such a good mood, and I wasn’t about to ruin that.

“I talked with him this morning and I just feel like he’ll be more understanding than I thought,” I spoke with a soft voice, “He won’t take you away from me if he sees how in love with you I am.”

Instead of responding with words, Jungkook desperately gripped at my work shirt and pressed his lips to mine. This kiss was more forceful and a little too passionate for us to be doing at work. I put a hand on his cheek and pulled away from his lips, only to meet with his dark eyes.

“I should probably clock back in, Jungkook,” I spoke as he sighed in disappointment. He moved his arms from around me as I moved to clock in at the computer. I felt Jungkook’s eyes stay on me the whole time as I successfully clocked back in.

“I’m really going to try to stop being such an ass,” Jungkook spoke as I turned around. He looked serious which made my heart skip a beat. “Hoseok’s a good guy and he doesn’t deserve to be treated the way I wanted you to treat him. I know that I should trust you if we’re going to be together.”

I smiled and nodded, walking to stand in front of him again. “If you’re going to trust me, then I want you to stay calm when I tell you what I’m about to.”

Jungkook swallowed, looking fairly nervous as I smiled softly, “Alright. Go ahead.”

I took a deep breath, grabbing Jungkook’s hands to keep my nerves steady. I hadn’t planned to tell him the truth, but I felt like I needed to.

“I was just with Hoseok before you called me.”

I paused to get a feel for Jungkook’s reaction. He certainly was unhappy hearing my confession, but he didn’t tense up or tighten his grip on my hands. He was doing good at keeping calm so far.

“I told him everything about you and I. I also told him to not say a thing to Taehyung, so we don’t have to worry about that.”

I couldn’t help but notice Jungkook’s slight grimace when I said my last words, but I didn’t let it phase me. “He didn’t just sit there and listen to me, though. He started telling me that we need to trust Taehyung to handle this situation. If he sees how happy we make each other, I’m sure he’ll be happy for us.”

I felt nerves build up in my gut as Jungkook just continued to look at me with an unchanging expression. He didn’t yell at me or get upset over me meeting up with Hoseok. He just stood there and looked at me.

“Jungkook-”

I got cut off by Jungkook’s arms suddenly pulling me against him, holding me to him in a firm manner. His eyes were intense as I stared at him with a shocked expression, waiting for him to say or do anything. I noticed him swallow as his eyes stared intently into mine.

Our gaze didn’t break as his hands grabbed my shirt and his arms pressed me tighter to him.

“I love you so much,” Jungkook spoke as he paused to swallow again, “I can hardly believe how hard I’ve fallen for you over these past three weeks.”

I felt my cheeks flush as I didn’t shy away from his eyes. I let a soft smile appear on my face, but his serious expression didn’t crack. “I love you, too, Kook. It’s amazing how you can go from hating someone’s guts to loving the hell out of them in such a short amount of time.”

His gaze finally broke from mine as Jungkook pressed his lips against mine firmly. He let a sigh out of his nose as I allowed my eyes to slide closed. I felt my hands reach up and grab the collar of his shirt, pulling it down to add more pressure to our lips. I could feel Jungkook growing more and more eager as I tried my hardest not to smirk.

“You know we’re still kinda in public,” I whispered as Jungkook let a breath out his nose. He tried to lean in to kiss me again, but I dodged it, “And we’re at work.”

“Find a closet and we’ll be fine,” Jungkook whispered as I felt my eyes widen.

“Kook, I just clocked back in,” I frowned, but he wasn’t giving up.

“It won’t take long, babe…” the nickname rolled off his tongue as I swallowed. I took a deep breath and shook my head, trying to stick to my logic and reasoning side.

“Jungkook, no,” I refused, but he wasn’t done. He bit his lip and looked around to double check that no one was in the back. He pulled me out of sight of the security cameras before sliding his hand down and brushing his fingers against the crotch of my pants. I took in a sharp breath at his boldness, trying to stick to my gut. We would get in so much trouble if we got caught.

“K-Kook,” I called, but he just persisted, adding more pressure to his strokes, “This isn’t funny, Jungkook.”

“I’m not trying to be funny,” he whispered into my ear as shivers ran all throughout my body, “I’m trying to get you to give in to what you know you really want.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head, “No, Jungkook, I’m no-uhhn, not gonn-aaa…”

I bit my lip before taking several deep breaths. I dared to open my eyes as I met with Jungkook’s hungry and eager ones.

“F-fine,” I whispered, “O-Okay! I know where we can go, j-just stop before someone sees us.”

A smirk appeared on Jungkook’s face as he watched me move away from him and grab his wrist. I couldn’t believe that we were about to do it in public yet again…

“It’s nice to know that you like to live on the wild side,” Jungkook mumbled to me as I quickly pulled him forward, hoping to God that no one was watching us rush through the lobby.

“Shut up or I’ll go back to work,” I threatened, which seemed to work. He didn’t say another word as we walked up to the closet that I had been thinking of the very second that Jungkook started suggesting anything.

We stepped inside after I unlocked the door, and the second I had the door closed and locked behind us, Jungkook pinned me up against the door.

“I’ve been craving you for what feels like eons,” he huffed before nibbling on my ear, “How do you do things like this to me?”

I just shrugged in response as I moved my fingers to bury them into his hair. He pulled away from my ear and leaned in to place a soft yet hungry kiss on my lips. I accepted his kiss as I tilted my head to give him a better angle. I tugged at his locks as a growl erupted in his throat. I felt heat building up between the two of us as Jungkook’s teeth nibbled at my bottom lip.

I found myself growing hungry for him, which seemed to be his goal considering how persuasive he was about doing it at work...

“Did you bring a condom?” I asked against his lips as the rational side of my brain tried to break through to remind me that it’s important to be safe.

Jungkook froze in place as he pulled away, the look on his face saying it all. He took a deep breath and cursed under his breath before moving slightly away from me.

“I-I think I have one in my car,” he ran a hand through his hair as I sighed and frowned.

“How the hell did you happen to have a condom with you on the roof, yet you don’t have one now?” I raised an eyebrow as Jungkook winced.

“Just give me a minute! I’ll run to my car and be back in no time! Stay right here!” Jungkook unlocked the door and flew out before I could formulate a response. I should be mad at Jungkook for all of this, but I found myself smiling and giggling at the thought of him.

I couldn’t wait to go completely public with our relationship. Not having to hide it from Taehyung is going to feel so freeing…

I continued smiling as I leaned against the wall, eagerly waiting for Jungkook to come back to the closet.

…

I felt worry build up in my chest as it finally hit the ten minute mark. It should have taken him no longer than five minutes to run to his car and come back, especially at the speed he was running out of here…

I couldn’t bare waiting any longer as I sighed and left the closet, feeling a frown on my face. Jungkook didn’t ditch me, surely, so where was he? And couldn’t he at least call me if he didn’t have a condom in his car? He wouldn’t just leave without letting me know…

I felt worry build up as I found myself hurrying back to the lobby. My pace continued to quicken the longer it took for me to get through all the hallways. As I turned the corner and scanned the lobby, I didn’t see any point of interest. The most interesting thing I saw was a kid that was playing with the queue line ropes.

Worry continued to grow inside me as I made my way to the back room. Where the hell was he? I poked my head into the room, but once more, he wasn’t there.

I pulled out my phone so that I could give him a quick call. Surely he didn’t just take off without telling me… How embarrassing would it have been if I had stayed there and waited for him to come back, only for him to never show back up?

I pressed the call button, waiting through several rings as I hoped and prayed that Jungkook would answer.

To my relief, he did answer the call.

“A-Ari,” his voice was unstable as I felt my worry double very quickly, “I’m sorry! I-uh… I just got a call from Taehyung and he sounded pissed… I’m worried that…”

I felt my stomach drop at his next words.

“...I think that Taehyung knows about us.”

My brain went into full panic mode as I stayed silent. Jungkook didn’t dare say anything on the other end of the line, and I felt myself getting sick. Hoseok was the only person who knew… why would he tell Taehyung? After the rational and sweet conversation we had, it pissed me off that he would say anything.

“What makes you think that he knows?” I felt my shaky hands run up and down my arm as I tightened the grip on my phone, “What did he say?”

Jungkook just stayed eerily silent as I felt like pulling my hair from its roots to deal with the stress.

“He just angrily told me to get home as fast as possible or he’d hunt me down and kick my ass,” he answered as I bit my lip harsher than intended. That was for sure going to well…

“B-But why…” I whispered as I found myself hurrying to the back room, “Why would Hoseok go and tell Taehyung like that?”

Jungkook’s end was silent for a suspiciously long time as I felt paranoia build up in my chest. Why was he being so quiet? Did he know something that I don’t?

“I-I don’t know,” Jungkook mumbled out a response, and I was barely able to hear him. “Maybe he’s two-faced?”

I shook my head, but the motion was for my own benefit since Jungkook couldn’t see me, “I don’t believe it. That man has been so consistently nice and patient with me that I’d find it hard to be any act.”

Once more, Jungkook’s end was silent. I bit down on my lip hard enough to draw blood as I tried to swallow all my nerves. “Okay Jungkook, are you hiding something from me?”

He continued on with the silence for several more seconds as I tried my hardest to stop biting my lip before it actually started to bleed. He was making me a nervous wreck! “Jungkook!”

“I’m sorry, Ari!” He cried from the other end as I felt my heart shattering. His voice sounded so nervous and broken, “I’m sorry… I’m a huge idiot. I told Soomin about us.”

My expressions shifted the second he said what he did, “You told Soomin?! What the hell, Kook!?”

“She was pissing me off!” he tried to defend as I took a deep breath. He continued to string out defenses, but that was when Chaeyoung and Jimin walked to the back to clock in again. I tuned Jungkook out as I spoke over him.

“I have to go back to work. Bye.”

I hung up the phone with my shaky hands as I saw Chaeyoung’s look of concern. She and Jimin finished clocking back in as she walked up to me with worry etched in her features.

“Ari, is everything okay?”

A/N: Okay so I was originally going to have a really rude cliffhanger, but I decided to post the last part of the scene. I just felt dirty cutting off the scene like I originally planned! So if you think this cliffhanger is bad, be thankful that I didn’t stick with the original one!

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

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thestudyfeels · 5 years

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🎨 Graphic made by @indiaisstudying: India is brilliant my pals, and I recommend checking her out for studyblr/artblr inspiration. My girl tHIRIVES.

The singular takeaway from this post: Do a creative binge. Much productive than a Netflix binge. Period.

Two months ago, I reached my peak when I coined the term ‘bood day’ (a bad to good day, in my article How To Flip A Bad Day By 180°). Today, puppies and kittens, I present to you— a creative binge.

*crickets chirping, that one dude in the audience scratches his nose and turns away*

…This one actually works but okay, we get it, y'all are bitches. But gonna do my job anyway– if you're a creator reading this, please do a creative binge at least once every two weeks.

I started doing these binges two months ago, and I've seen a VAST improvement in my creative energy. I feel my commercial voice coughing and saying hello to the mic, so before I start listing side-effects for a sponsored pill, let's dive into the basics.

🍵 Quick PSA —

↪ JOIN MY TAGLIST? If you aren't on this yet, please get on it, it'll mean a lot to me! By joining, you get a new article on lifestyle design & productivity every week.

100 Days of Sweat: This challenge starts TOMORROW (10th of April), so if you wanna hustle on your bod this year, join us! Accountability does crazy things.

Ever questioned your life, experienced writer's block, painter’s pain or blogger’s… block? (Narrator: aaaand she's back to advertising.) A creative binge helps deal with fixing exactly that.

“A creative binge is based off the equation of quality in = quality out.”

A lot of creators feel that they're supposed to magically create out of their head, and that's just ridiculous. It's ludicrous considering you don't know shit, read shit, do shit and watch shit.

Even to write fiction, my pal, you'll have to expose yourself to the world to know its ways, read great books and take tips (not to mention stock up on coffee, and prepare to cry a lot) before you start cranking out the pages. Everything you create is ultimately inspired by the Ways Of The World. (And that's a fantastic novel title)

So in short, you’ve got to consume content, to make content. And in a creative binge, you conscious choose content that'll help you create. Genius, I know!

Okay, but what if I'm not a creator?

Brilliant question! Wanna become more valuable and leave the people you interact with better? Take a creative binge.

Allow me an elaboration: Take a janitor and a neurosurgeon. The said janitor is paid much less than the neurosurgeon. Why is that? Is the neurosurgeon a better person? That's debatable. Is the janitor less efficient at his work? Again, debatable. The primal reason lies in the neurosurgeon acquiring more valuable skills than the janitor. Society rewards them by paying more since there are less folks who can do what the neurosurgeon does.

To recap: In order to be indispensable in the role you play (whatever it is, a student, calligrapher, CEO of the Janitor Club), you HAVE to become valuable. Grow your curiosity & know more than yo’ buddies (also bring more value than anybody else). And to become valuable, you consume value. Tada!

(And if you still ain't convinced, I'll pull out the Netflix card. You'd really rather watch shows? Or binge YouTube? Than learn a new skill, or develop existing ones? Question your priorities, my friend. Victims love entertainment, victors love learning.)

Cool, you're joining in then! Not that creative binge is NOT an entertainment binge. It's a value providing binge. What you ‘consume’ has to bring you something in return— whether that's creative inspiration, motivation or skills. *Swing arms* yup! We’re one gay, productive household. Someone remind Hallie to buy the groceries though, the Cheerios are going mouldy.

By my dictionary, a creative binge is a slot of time, 1½ to 3 hours I'd say, when you watch/read/listen to some good stuff. Basically, binge content.

THE 101 OF A CREATIVE BINGE

🌿 Basics:

I conduct one every week (usually Wednesday mornings), lasting around 1½ to 2 hours.

I'll also keep a notepad and a pen nearby, to take notes and jot ideas as they come. Again, this is NOT an entertainment binge, even though it's a chill job.

Sometimes I'll get passive things done (like wiping my desk, eating breakfast and taking out textbooks) while watching. We maximize our time.

🌿 What Do I Watch:

The stuff I watch falls into 3 categories: creative/humor (for inspiration), business/skills (for skills) & motivation (for, um, motivation). Fair warning though, a lot of the stuff these folks make overlap, but that's alright. This is just a rough demarcation.

Creative/Humor: some YesTheory, maybe some MacDoesIt, sprinkle in some Ryan Higa, perhaps an episode of a show with an amazing script, some stand-up comedy from my favorites. Or maybe trash that and just watch Sherlock. (Geez, Netflix, I hate you, I love you.)

Skills: Gary Vee, some artist channels, that random video on how to thrift shop even though I don't shop.

Motivation: Be Inspired, Tom Bilyeu, Mel Robbins and random videos which look nice.

🌿 What Do I Listen To:

Oof, I love music tremendously! If you're a pal, you know it's time to RUN when I come around being like, “soo, I was wondering what's your favourite–”.

Yet, during a creative binge, I'll only listen to stuff that 1) inspires me, or 2) is creative in a way I can't explain. Some recommendations!

Hype music:

The Score

Imagine Dragons

Creative music:

Billie Eilish

Lana Del Rey

Sleeping At Last

Lorde

Conan Gray

Harry Styles

🌿 What Do I Read:

Usually the book that I'm reading at that point if I'm being lazy.

POETRY: It's my belief, but poetry is a writer's most powerful device. There's a novel to be said in a simple sonnet.

FICTION: I dig great fiction. PS, please read (and sob over) Away Childish Things, by @letteredlettered. It changed me as a person, changed my entire perspective about kids. I'm much kinder and softer now, and my pimples are gone. I'll literally never get over drarry too, so thanks lettered, love you.

ARTICLES: Bookmarked psychology, productivity & fitness articles on Medium. Maybe check out James Clear's & Gary Vee’s blog for new posts.

Because I wanna drive this home, here's what I did in my last creative binge as a concrete example —

Care to Note that:

All of the stuff I consume is pre-planned.

I add videos throughout the week to my Creative Binge playlist on YouTube, download albums from Amazon Music and articles for offline reading.

DON'T leave this to the last moment, you'll more likely pick entertainment vs learning then.

Watched–

Why I'm done trying to be "man enough"

Redecorating my room 2017 (I wanna decorate my room this year so)

How to Squat Properly (I’m trying lmao)

Giving a 9-Year-Old Her Dream Job for 24hrs!! (I stan YesTheory so much)

How To NOT Be A Starving Artist (A mood. I love Sorelle)

Couple more, I could go on & on, but you get me.

Listened–

Every song on YouTube by Bruno Major

Born to die: paradise version (album) by Lana Del Rey

Read–

Articles from James Clear's blog — (x) (x)

Articles from Gary Vee’s blog — (x) (x)

HIIT workouts for beginners

All of this birthed–

Ideas for future articles, titled: How To Be Great & Solomon Letters #2: Question Your Faith, Not Your Dreams, among others.

A small poem about faith– posted on my IG, check it out!

New content ideas, like value chains (upcoming!)

Bunch of other small rants for everyday posting

Some business and life advice that might be useful later.

Gotta say goodbye now! (literally too... but post about it coming on 12th so wait for it) Try this one out, and let me know how your binge goes (tag it with #team conquer). Mine usually end with a bucketful of philo notes, a recharged left (right? psychology? idk) brain, and a fresh perspective towards the rest of my week.

This is the #1 strategy I've adopted to sustain creative energy when it's sapped all around by negativity and school & I promise it helps. No side effects, no sponsored pills needed. Thanks for reading!

Related: How To Get Back Into The Creative Process (if you're in a blogger's block or experiencing painter's pain)

Have something to say? I treasure all feedback! If this post inspired you to do something, or you wanna throw some love/constructive criticism at me— hop into my ask box, or reply to this post itself!

Thanks for dropping by! Major articles, like this one, come out every Thursday! Join my taglist by to read them when they do. I also post daily wins, journal entries, rants & photos of my plant babies throughout the week, so follow me if you’re into conquering life. I vow to be the loudest cheerleader. ✧

Sending you love and good energy, talk soon.

Nandini 💌 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

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two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat · 4 years

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CW: transphobia, homophobia. Also pretty long and I'm on mobile so I cant put a read more thing on it.

Ok so this is kind of a personal post so if you don't wanna hear about some of my personal drama, just scroll along. But I feel like I need to get this shit on record somewhere since I don't have the screenshots of the texts this is concerning anymore.

So a little over a year ago, I told the person who'd been my best friend, we'll call her E, since I was about 9 that I didnt want to be friends with her anymore. More on that later.

Back in senior year of high school I started thinking I might be Bi. I brought this up to E and she was super dismissive right off that bat. Saying that I wasnt, sounding like she was trying to console me. Like being Bi was this awful thing that I needed to worry about.

Well fast forward about a year and a half and I went up to my college with her so I could do new student orientation since I was starting the next semester. This is when the fact that I was Bi sort of smacked me in the face because the girl doing my orientation was super hot. I immediately knew I wouldnt be telling E that.

Fast forward to march of 2017. Its spring break. I've reconnected with my high school friends. I've never felt the need to hide my sexuality from them and they were instantly nothing but supportive of me. We never really hung out outside of school back in high school (or in elementary school either in Eric's case.) I start realizing that I've been having more fun with them then I ever did with E. And I finally had people to geek out about sciencey stuff with because E doesnt believe in science but eric LOVES science. It was nice.

Well a couple weeks after spring break me and Es mutual friend Althea asked me to drive her to the shelter so she could get her boyfriends cat fixed (it's way cheaper there then at the vet) and spent the day hanging out with her because she WAS planning to walk back there to pick up the cat afterwards and I was like "uh no. I'm not gonna make you walk across town by yourself." So I finally got to meet her boyfriend. Well that afternoon E came and picked me up to go up to the KU campus to get some more bus passes to go to our college in KC because our school was out of bus passes and didnt know when theyd get more.

Here's when I kinda started to realize I should maybe get out of this friendship. On the way to campus E starts telling me about her day at school and how "theres a girl that used to be a guy in one of my teachers other classes. It's making me uncomfortable."

Me: "that sounds like a you problem, E."

Now I knew she kind of thought that way already. She may not have said shit like that around our other friends but I had to hear it a lot. But because I'm pretty nonconfrontational and she was my only close friend outside of school and I was terrified of being alone, I usually just ignored it or politely debated her about it but generally just agreed to disagree. This was the first time I ever decided to speak up to her about it. Unfortunately I couldnt say much cuz her mom was the one driving us and i knew she agreed with everything E said.

But I'd been hanging out with althea and her boyfriend (who just so happened to be trans) all morning so suddenly having to hear E talk about how uncomfortable trans people make her got me more fired up than usual.

After this I slowly started distancing myself from her. I'd been hoping for a few years that she'd grow up and accept that not everyone is like her and try to be more open minded and accepting of people. Apparently that wasnt happening.

I stopped responding to her texts as often. I was trying to think of a way to talk to her about it but all my past friendships that fell apart, did so naturally and on a silent mutual agreement. So I was half hoping that would happen. Pretty stupid. Dont recommend. Just be straight with people.

After a few months of me only answering her texts every once in a while, she decided to start calling me multiple times a week. Often while I was at work. Sometimes from her mom and sisters phones when I wouldnt answer from her number. Idk y she thought that would work. She knows I hate talking on the phone.

I still didnt know what to say to her. I probably should've just told her I needed some space and she might've backed off for awhile so I could figure it out. But subway stressed me tf out. And i have no idea how you're supposed to end a relationship with your best friend of over 10 years.

(Also some of my other reasons for not wanting to be friends with her were specifically because of althea and I didnt want althea to get dragged into it. Unfortunately it ended up happening anyways. But basically back in highschool, if we were planning for all four of us (me, e, althea, and nikki) to get together, and nikki would have something come up, E would tell althea our get together was cancelled but would still have me come over and then made me promise not to say anything to althea about it.)

Around march or april of last year I blocked her family's numbers. This is when they started showing up at my work. The first time it happened I had a long ass line and was helping my coworker get through it before I left. Her sister came in by herself and just asked how I was doing but left pretty quick after she got her sandwich since it was busy. A couple more times they came and just parked outside like they were waiting for me to get off my shift but ended up leaving. The last time it happened E came in while I was there alone and I really didnt wanna have THAT conversation while i was at work alone and her crazy overprotective mom was out in the car waiting for her. So i made her sandwich very quickly so i could get her out as fast as I could.

I was planning on finally talking to her around the end of april but was still having trouble figuring out what to say.

Unfortunately any plan I had to let her down easy was sort of thrown out the window on may 13th of last year.

My mom texted me that morning about how she got a weird call from Es aunt. On her work phone. This is basically how that call went:

"IS THIS OLIVIAS MOM?????"

My mom, suddenly worried it's my work and something happened to me, "Yes?"

"Why isnt olivia talking to E anymore?"

"............I dont know."

So that kind of crossed a line for me. It really freaked my mom out.

I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when I'm mad or stressed out tho. So my friend Alice ended up writing out the text for me and I read through it to make sure it was ok.

Basically it said "I'm sorry but I dont think we can be friends anymore. The way you talk about the LGBT+ community makes me extremely uncomfortable, especially seeing as I am bisexual and have several friends in the community. The way you used to exclude althea from hanging out with us because you think shes annoying and then expect me to lie to her about it makes me uncomfortable. It was inappropriate to show up at my work unannounced to corner me into talking to you when I needed space. And it was even more inappropriate for your relatives to call my mom at work. I'm sorry I didnt say something sooner but I'm tired of pretending I'm ok with everything you've said over the years."

Then her mom texts me. I dont remember all of it but the gist was "you're a horrible person. E never judged you or anyone else (sure, miss "gay people are gross. I can see how conversion therapy might work." Totally isnt judging anyone and 100% cares about the lgbt+ community.) The only reason she did those things is because she was worried about you."

Then E left me a voicemail that I couldnt understand at all cuz she was crying and I felt terrible even tho everyone was telling me I shouldn't. Now I probably should've taken out the part about althea because it effectively threw my "not wanting to get althea involved" plan out the window. Honestly what really pissed me off about this next part both made me pissed at E but also at myself. E removed herself from the group chat I had with her, nikki, and althea. Blocked althea on Facebook and blocked her number. Didnt bother to explain why. I still feel terrible about this even tho althea has told me many times that it's fine and if she'd had to pick a side she wouldve picked mine. But I still felt like she at least deserved an explanation.

Alice told me to screenshot the texts. I almost didn't cuz I just wanted to forget about all this. But I did.

Anyways life moved on. Eric got a new phone and gave me his beat up galaxy s7. I stuck my s6 into a drawer and let it die and forgot about it.

Then on new years I got a call from althea. Not weird at all. She calls me every major holiday and birthday. Shes done this every year since junior year of high school.

Normal phone call at first. But then she says that her mom has been talking to E's mom. Apparently E's mom told altheas mom that I told E that althea hates her and thinks shes a terrible person and that's why E hasnt been talking to althea. Althea of course didnt believe that but wanted me know about it. This prompted me to try and charge up my old phone and get the screenshots off of it. I had it plugged in for a couple of days and it never turned back on. So that's out apparently.

That's also why I felt the need to get all of this written down. It may not be as great as having the actual screenshots but I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when confronted so I want to have something written down in case any of this comes up again.

#cw: transphobia #cw: homophobia #i needed to get this out while i could actually put it into words #this is the first time in a while that i actually can #personal #homophobia #transphobia #i never post stuff like this so hopefully im tagging it right

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