#writing this instead of writing my essay...

[littlemillersbaby]

"well hello"

request: hiiii!! saw ur baker fic & loved it was wondering if you could write teacher!fem!reader? like she’s one of the teachers in Jackson and ofc ellie’s in her class and ellie LOVES HER talks about her nonstop and bothers joel. one day at pick up he finally sees her and he definitely understands what all the hype’s about now. It can lead to smut or not whatever you want I love ur writing <333 word count: 1,3k warnings: +18 minors dni, too lazy to write more but there's smut and language!

it’s just past three, and your classroom smelled faintly of chalk dust and damp wood. ellie was long gone, already bolted with a bounce in her step and a grin that cracked sideways when you reminded her that her essay on pre-fall governance systems still needed citations. you really liked her. she was smart-mouthed, whip-quick, a little feral in that lovable way if there was one.

you were gathering up worksheets into one neat stack when there’s a knock—barely even that, more like a hesitant tap. you look up, and there he is.

joel miller.

you’ve heard of him in bits and pieces, mostly ellie’s flippant mentions. "my old man," she says, or "joel says if you give me homework on a friday he’ll riot." the usual teenager noise. but you’d pictured someone rough, maybe grizzled, but the real thing? no one warned you about those bedroom eyes.

he’s leaning halfway into your doorframe, one hand braced against it like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to come in. you couldn't help but take him in; worn flannel, heavy shoulders. his gaze cuts across the room until it lands on you, then lingers like he’s trying to figure out what to say.

“hey,” he says. voice like gravel, but still warm and apologetic. “uh..i’m here to pick up ellie.”

you blink, “oh, she left ten minutes ago. said she was heading home.”

joel blinks right back, slowly this time. you watch his mouth twitch, not quite a smile, more a grimace of regret. “of course she did.”

“she told me you’d come late,” you add, something about the way he stands there makes you want to offer him anything. a chair, coffee maybe.

he huffs out a breath, rubs a hand over the back of his neck, fingers catching in graying curls. “figures...guess she figured i’d just find my way here anyway.”

“and she was right,” you smile, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear, tilting your head. “she’s clever like that.”

his eyes—brown, kind—settle on you again. longer this time. like maybe he’s taking his time to memorize you. your cardigan’s too big, sleeves pushed to your elbows and there’s a bit of pink and orange chalk on your fingers. he sees it all, catalogues it.

“you’re her teacher,” he says, not a question.

you nod, with a small smile. “mhm.. history.”

he nods too, but it’s faint, the air feels weirdly full all of a sudden. he shifts, and you catch the faint creak of leather from his belt. the man is solid. not just physically, though, lord, yeah, that too—but there’s something rooted in him.

“she talks about you,” he says, breaking the silence.“a lot.”

you swallow, “i hope it’s all good things.”

his mouth twitches again, and this time it’s definitely a smile, a crooked one but a smile nonetheless. “she says you’re smart. don’t take her shit. and that you swear sometimes when you’re grading papers.”

you laugh, nodding at the ellie's silliness. “that’s true.”

“she likes you.”

something about the way he says it makes your stomach do a little flip. the way his eyes don’t leave yours. how his voice drops on that last word—like he’s testing the water.

you could say something flirty here..something coy. but instead—

“do you want to get a drink sometime?” you blurt, then immediately feel heat crawl up your neck. “i mean, just, if you’re free..and want to.”

joel doesn’t blink, he just stares for a second at you; you could tell he was wondering if he heard you right.

“yes,” he says, so fast. “yes, i would love to.”

it was now saturday night at 7:00pm, and you were second-guessing all off it, thinking that you should've canceled.

you tell yourself it’s because of the cold—there’s a chill in the air but not threatening enough to cancel. it’s because you haven’t dated since coming to jackson.

but you show up to the bar anyway. it’s small, just off the main road. the smokey firewood smell clings to the ceiling beams, and old pre-fall songs hum low through restaurant speakers. joel was already there when you walked in, sitting at a corner table, hands curled around a glass of brown.

he stands when he sees you. such a gentleman.

“you came,” he says, and he looks so sincere about it your chest hurts.

“of course i did,” you say, sliding into the seat across from him.

he orders you a drink, and for the first few minutes it’s causal talk: ellie, school, the town, then it starts to slip into something else.

“you always this quiet?” you ask, teasing.

he raises a brow. “you always this bold?”

“bold? please...you should see me on parent-teacher night. i’m a badass.”

he chuckles and it’s soft and full of sweetness. it makes his whole face change. you sip your drink and watch the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles.

“what about you?” you ask. “always this broody?”

joel leans back, one arm slung over the back of the booth. “only when i’m tryin’ to impress someone.”

“you think it's working?”

his eyes flick down to your mouth, then back up.

“yeah,” he says. “think it is.”

later, when the drinks are gone and the once big fire is now burning low, he walks you home. the streets are too quiet while snow comes down in soft flakes. his hand brushes yours once. then again, finally on the third, you just take it.

your fingers tangle easily, like they’ve been doing it forever. at your door, there’s a pause. his breath plumes in the cold. his eyes search yours, asking without words.

you don’t make him ask.

“you want to come in?”

“yeah,” he says again, that same voice, full and sure. “i’d love to.”

the door closes behind him, and it’s like the air shifts with warmth.

neither of you says anything for a second. his eyes are still on you, dark and lustful. you can feel the beat of your heart, too loud in your chest. his fingers twitch like he wants to touch you, but he's too hesitant.

so you take his hand again, lead him inside, past the coat hooks, into the living room. you turn to face him, suddenly unsure. “joel, i—”

he cuts you off by kissing you deeply. you open your mouth under his, and the kiss deepens even more. one of his hands cradles your face, the other grips your waist. he pulls you in as you moan into his mouth.

he groans low. “fuck,” he mutters against your lips. “you feel good.”

you thread your hands into his salt and pepper hair, dragging his mouth back to yours. you break for some air and he chases your mouth, kisses down your jaw, and your throat. his beard scrapes against your skin, making you wetter than before.

“bedroom,” you say.

he lifts his head, eyes blown wide. “you sure?”

“yes,” you breathe. “joel, yes, please.”

you don’t remember the walk to the room. it’s a complete blur, hands under shirts, skin on skin, maybe a bit of grinding.

he undresses you slow, like he’s afraid to rush it. and when he’s finally bare before you—he’s so large, scarred, and beautiful—you pull him down onto the bed.

“look at me,” you say.

he does as he slides into you, slowly and unhurried, one hand pressed to your cheek. the rhythm starts off slow. his breath catching on every thrust as your nails claw at his back. he kisses you and talks you through it. over and over.

“been thinkin’ about you,” he says, voice ragged. “since the first moment..couldn’t stop.”

“me too,” you whisper. “joel—don’t stop..please don’t stop.”

he fucks you so well and lovingly. God, you can't remember the last time you felt so good. and when you both cum, shaking and holding on to each other. you think to yourself, maybe jackson was a good move.

special tags: @inbred-eater , @wintfleur , @lowrisemiller

[recluserat]

Tell me why I'm writing this essay and instead of "Styles" as in clothing styles I wrote down "Stiles" as in Stiles Stilinski 😭

[leikeliscomet]

Why The Story and The Engine works for me is bc every single theme is woven together perfectly. The barbershop as a metaphor for Fifteen as a Black incarnation finding community, with natural hair as a metaphor for storytelling & story as an act of creation.

Dwtwt & some of dwblr (as per) flattened all my D&B criticism to RTD being white when in reality it was all about storytelling. Dot and Bubble in RTDs own words is for white people. It's a story about Blackness packaged for a white audience not out of any actual "allyship"

Throughout my OG essay & OG thread, my main point I've been tryna drill home is that Black creatives never get to tell our stories but instead theres a script assigned onto us. The UK creative industry will back 10 Dot and Bubbles before a single original Black British story.

And if a Black British story gets greenlit it has to be perfect. There's no room for error. Meanwhile writers like RTD can create Dot and Bubble and that becomes our truth. This is how we're seen and how our story is told. And when our stories are ignored, we don't get a say

RTD can create his own story of what Black representation is. That racism will always exist in the future. That the Doctor has no knowledge of racism at all. That the Doctor has no anti establishment roots. 'Let him write POC!!1' they cry, as if he hasn't already got this power

Then fandom will create their own stories of us, also known as lies. That Black writers can't write. That RTD had a secret POC sensitivity reader. That RTD paved the way for Blk representation. That Black fans who didn't like Dot and Bubble are angry aggressive beasts.

Meanwhile, Black writers are left in the dust. It's cancelled show after cancelled show. 'Woke propaganda' this, 'forced diversity' that. And that's why I'll ALWAYS hate Dot and Bubble not just as a Blk person but a Black creative. This is what we're up against in this industry.

I know Inua Ellams said it was a spiritual successor, but I don't claim The Story and The Engine as a mere continuation of Dot and Bubble. I see it as a correction. I see it as an evolution. The David to Dot and Bubbles Goliath. It's almost everything that story will never be.

Dot and Bubble, the white liberal racism story for a white audience by only white writers and now the 1st solo written Black episode in Doctor Who history on the importance of Black storytelling, credit and sharing our ideas. Poetic justice and its never been sweeter#

[DO NOT reblog saying u liked Dot and Bubble i dont give a fuck. Its a pile of shit and it always will be]

[felledpauper]

I do not disagree about any of that. I wholeheartedly agree that the system is fucked. But there’s nothing reactionary about my sentiment. And simply put, making the point about how stupid using AI is is the easiest thing to change. I can’t encourage an entire system of education borne of the Industrial Revolution to change, but I CAN tell younger generations that using AI is actively hurting them and their development, which is the last thing they want in an education system that already seeks to mold them into boxes.

This entire discourse needs far more nuance than most people are capable of offering in the digital forums we currently possess. And yeah, a lot of people immediately jump to “computer bad” and obviously that’s absurd as well. But the reason people do that is because the tool, as you perfectly put it, is the only thing we can currently effectively regulate. Students don’t have to use AI, but they DO currently have to go through the education system we’ve devised, for better or worse.

A huge part of the reactionary idea comes about because, myself included, when I hear people NOT mention that using AI is not a good idea for cognitive growth, and instead speak in a manner that seems to justify it, they get upset. I’m prone to this. And that’s because there are countless people that actively believe that it’s perfectly fine and acceptable to use AI in the manners I’m condemning. So hearing a stranger speak in a more neutral manner throws alarm bells. And that’s unfair, and I know that.

It’s not about superiority, nor elitism, it’s about a desire to not have future generations fall into the trap of the notion that literally all cognitive endeavor is a waste of time. So much of our culture (America) has shifted to productivity and capital. It’s about the bottom line, the end result, and never about the process. And the current use of genAI reflects that. Not ontologically, but functionally. So seeing people fall for “well I didn’t write the essay but I got the grade” is scary. Because while the system says that’s good, the welfare of humanity, I believe, would disagree.

One of the funniest examples of anti-AI reactionary sentiment has to be when people talk about it being used to cheat on school essays because sometimes it veers straight into "well back in my day cheating on essays used to mean something" like it's not enough that the evil computer allows people to cheat, it's also that the bad program robs cheating of value

[bisexual-horror-fan]

"AI is the future, the future is AI-" It is NOT the future I want! I want to make my own meal plans, I want to write my own grocery lists, I want to write my own works, do my own creative pursuits, I want to formulate my own thoughts! I want to engage with other actual PEOPLE! Not fucking character AI chatbots!

I see so often people agreeing with anti-AI takes but then saying, "I just use ChatGPT for-" with some qualifier? They are seriously like "Oh I agree it is terrible, I am acknowledging it is terrible, but I still use it for XYZ thing!" What??? What is WRONG with you?

Well guess what? I don't use AI for fucking SHIT, if there was a way to wipe your ass with Gen AI, I wouldn't even do that. Heaven fucking forbid we engage with other people, heaven fucking forbid you have to wait for the writer to update the fic instead of letting an AI finish it for you, heaven fucking forbid we are bored for two seconds or be mildly inconvenienced!

"Let the AI do your art for you, let the AI decide what you eat, let the AI write your fucking essay for college, let the AI write the email to your beloved family member!" Does no one care about doing the things that make life worth living? In engaging in the human experience???

I am SICK OF ALL OF IT.

[solacescastleglow]

Things I've Been Loving Recently (in no particular order)

writing (& worldbuilding for) fanfiction

the moon <3

omelettes with cheese

dinosaur time (eating spinach by the handful)

buying secondhand books

oil pulling

my shul/local chabad's dinners

looking at pictures of evgeny shwartz as felix yusupov on pinterest

chatting with new people

penguin little black classics in my pockets when i go out

how much it's been raining recently

record shopping with my sibling

pho from the vietnamese restaurant next to the secondhand bookshop

left right goodnight! by bears in trees

pickled onions

the australian voting system (preferential voting my beloved)

wearing pyjama pants under my regular pants

reading ancient classics

my employment consultant (thank u razan!!)

getting on jobseeker pension

my mama (happy mother's day!)

the ____ with mama memes

going on walks with my dad/sibling

one direction (i should have kissed you is a banger don't @ me)

vegetarian chili mac and cheese

the (still working) 1970s gas heater my dad found

living in the area i live in, i'm literally so lucky

my kitty cat, sweet little baby boy

the fact that my dad said my face is getting more square on t

the weather getting colder

studying ancient greek

the two triplets who volunteer at the shul (platonically)

organising our home library

listening to reddit stories while i do other things

papenathy (they live in my head rent free)

water

how cool the people in my area dress

being gendered masculinely by strangers

little bit of bottom growth who said that?

my visual timer

chamomile tea, all time favourite drink ilysm

post blocker on xkit

arm day for strength training

randomly telling myself 'drop and give me 10 bicycles'

the hunger games (original trilogy)

how much better i'm getting at communicating, especially via email

being able to choose between my cane, one crutch, two crutches, or nothing and not suffering severe consequences

bringing my cuddling pillow and blanket downstairs to sit on the sofa

daydreaming that i'm a professor giving a lecture while i write my assignments

my professor who lets us make up a creative project instead of essays

sebastian castellio/hating on jean calvin

fragrantica

hearing the kid next door practicing piano

seeing weird shaped dogs in the park

classical records

showers

the harmonising in shabbat services

the fact that i go to a barber now (the haircut itself, however...)

coles' bakery section

mother's day lunch at a random middle eastern restaurant in a suburb of the town my grandparents live in (literally so good)

sitting on the front steps while dad gardens

smoked paprika

exploring the local high street

friendly retail workers (g-d's strongest soldiers i swear)

the local architecture style

when things i bought years ago suddenly become useful again

my dressing gown

self love (cough cough) (thank you t for giving me my libido back)

the $300 1920s version of mrs beeton's household management i finally saved up enough to buy

financial responsibility

ritalin + lorazepam

my 'going out station' (place i put my keys etc)

having enough in my emergency fund that i don't need to save anymore unless i want to

my notion set up

my allergies randomly going away

therapy

the mottled sunlight in the back garden

growing the fuck up

that time i managed to pick around mushrooms in a dish without crying

my 2015 laptop that still works fine

my motorola phone (it has a headphone jack!!!)

donna tartt lore

making super niche memes

wilfred owen poems

when my dad and i trade our poetry

dusting powder

dry brushing

afternoon tea with my family

scented candles

cooking

chicken salt on hot chips

my great grandpa's harris tweed jacket that fits me perfectly

mint slice biscuits (now that i can have mint)

getting to use my winter wardrobe

how bad the liberals (our conservative party) lost the election

pope memes

the fact i'm graduating this year!!!

scent layering

wholegrain sourdough bread

the fact that i have so many good things in my life <333

[lucabyte]

Same anon from before. I get what you're saying, but I think we just have a difference in how we view Siffrin's gender. I don't really think it's possible for him to have a traditional gendered upbringing. They're a unique character to analyze gender wise in that sense. The Siffrin we know essentially popped into existence nearly as blank of slate as a person could be. I think about thier gender from the pov of what it would like to be that blank slate, and the detachment that would bring to the concept of gender as a whole. There's nothing for him to hold on to because he can't remember what it means to be a guy in the first place.

So to me, the he is as constructed as every other part of his identity. <- Hoping this makes sense.

(contexts: essay & prev anon)

i see i see. thank u for elaborating

i think you've misunderstood my angle, which is fair enough since I ramble a lot. But now that I know where you're coming from I can say what I'm talking about is kind of from a different mode of like. analysis.

Basically, I'm not really arguing for siffrin being able to Remember how they were raised, outside of the very specific things they exhibit in game of being afraid to want for things, which is the wish craft thing. In-universe, what I'm arguing is that Siffrin has gone for the "default" for what they have. They're going for 'he' because it's what they went with at first, and are scared to make any moves in any direction because being assertive about their wants is the thing they struggle with. It could be constructed, sure, but whatever it is, its the one they started with/got given at some point and now they're scared to change it.

But, what I'm actually arguing for, which is the point you haven't quite gotten by the sounds of it, is that I'm arguing from a like, thematic "what was the author intending/drawing paralells with the real world" angle.

In this reading, siffrin's like, inability to remember their childhood upbringing doesn't really matter? because I'm kind of arguing past that line of reasoning. I'm more talking about my speculations on Adrienne's Intentions-- I'm trying to read the authorial intent, not the in-universe reasoning.

And to me, the big smoking gun here, is that the change religion is The Transgender Religion, and Siffrin is an Outsider to it. In terms of thematic writing here, it makes most sense, to me, for Siffrin's trepidation re: change to come from a character who has been written with the assumption that they've never taken a big leap and changed their whole identity, instead clinging to what they know.

This makes Siffrin's gender another potential avenue for the game to use as Theme. The fact that they are nonbinary already is something of note, but that they seem to be doing it out of apathy rather than joy (making them opposite to isabeau) would make the most sense, thematically. They're disconnected from themself (their culture, their body, their gender) and need to make decisions about it. They can stay nonbinary, they can stay masc aligned, they can lean harder in whatever direction they want-- But they should do it because it makes them *happy*, not because its the path of least resistence. (which highly resembles the theme of the game of having those difficult conversations about wanting things!)

Which, thematically, is a little more solid if they've never taken that control before. I'm talking way more about story structure and authorial intent than i am the character's *actual* gender identity and expression, yknow?

So like. not actually incompatible with your thoughts? You're just saying they constructed the he/they at least a little bit on purpose, and i'm saying it makes sense if they're just doing that by default-- but all i'm saying is that it makes more /thematic/ story sense, if this 'default/constructed' dichotomy *also* maps on to our IRL concepts of being transgender-- ie that default is based on your Junk. Which is something that Vaugarde (and Maybe the island) don't agree with, so yeah, maybe that doesn't matter to In-universe-siffrin. but i'm not arguing about in-universe-siffrin's choices as much as i'm arguing about Adrienne id5's choices when making siffrin.

BUT dont worry this is why i was so worriedly yapping about watsonian (in-universe explanations) vs doylist (author-based explanations) so much, beause I know most fandom discussion comes from in-universe theorising, but i'm doing is basically the opposite so i was kind of expecting people to get tripped up by it. So I hope this clears it up a bit?

To try and put it succinctly... umm..

Siffrin is a Fictional Character, and I'm speculating about the Design and Writing Decisions that went into making them, and then using that to inform my in-universe thoughts on Siffrin.

Basically trying to get into the author's headspace to get to know them better, rather than trying to get into the Character's headspace to get to know them better. It's just a different approach and as such it can lead to different answers. (esp since. siffrin is so cagey their headspace is uh. well. even they have issues with it. its hard to get in there)

[thydungeongal]

ChatGPT story (feel free to publish) - working with students in their final year, I had the brilliant idea to have them use ChatGPT to demonstrate how unreliable ChatGPT is. I actually asked ChatGPT for the assignment prompt: "ask ChatGPT to write a 1000 word essay on a subject you know well. Be as specific and esoteric as possible; instead of asking for an essay about chess, for example, ask for an analysis of a specific chess opening. Then evaluate the essay using the following criteria." The criteria were things like how factual it was, tone, etc.

It was actually really interesting to see the results, because the AI was surprisingly accurate with some niche topics, but then completely wrong on other things that are more common knowledge. If I remember right, my Chinese student said it was totally right about Chinese calligraphy. Meanwhile, my music nerd asked about a specific (famous) classical piece and ChatGPT didn't even get the key signature right.

But the biggest lesson was for me; I planned on having us all discuss our results together, and I learned (or perhaps better to say was reminded) that in every class, there will always be some students who just won't submit an assignment on time. Even when it's an incredibly easy assignment.

And the guy who asked ChatGPT to tell him a joke and then submitted that as his assignment was almost certainly trolling me.

Oh that is really interesting! I wonder if the fact that these LLMs might be worse at getting information about niche topics right and common topics wrong may be because the more niche a topic is the less material there is about said topic in its corpus. So when you ask it about a topic which it has a limited corpus on it can't really do all that much jazz around what it generates based on that prompt.

This does however also match some of my experiences with generative AI. To tie it into the main topic of my blog: ChatGPT seems extremely D&D-pilled and keeps insisting on using D&D terminology when describing things from Rolemaster.

[morgaseus]

I’ve encountered a few on AO3 but I too am desperate for more Gojo fics anywhere 😭 if you have any recommendations too please I beg give some to meee 😭😭

Ohhh yesss ive got quite a few! Also, please look out for the content warnings!

Series

Sincerely not by saintobios (arranged marriage, modern au) (read this yrs ago so i cant remember much but i do remember crying at 10 pm in the kitchen while reading this)

Sundered by tojikai (baby daddy gojo, modern au)( made me sob )

Kintsugi by NoahLaval (arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, gojo x oc) (I love this! made me cry a lot, like really..)

No Cure by Tawus (enemies to lovers, reader is a curse user)

Exposure therapy by seoafin (angst, reader is in the same year as sashisu, au where toji became a teacher, also a geto/reader, but shoko is the endgame)(you should check out their other works too!)

Monster Hospital by mushmoon12 (enemies/rivals to lovers, lots of smut)

intrinsic warmth by thatdesklamp (angst, childhood friends to lovers)(yeah...)

Cursed Love by maespaces (angst, reader is a not a jujutsu sorcerer )(i forgot to add this!😭😭😭 but srsly tho rllylove this one, vry well written! im still reading it but u can tell ure in for a bumpy ride🥹)

Oneshots

Grey Cashmere by vagabond-umlaut (angst with a happy end, set during hidden inventory, reader is in the same year as sashisu)(one of my all time faves!!! its also part of a series but can be read as a standalone!)

an unwanted letter by piichuu (angst, post ch 236?ig?)(i read this during class... i just hope my classmates didnt see me cry)

Others. (I have not read this yet but ive been keeping an eye on it! Thought i might share as well)

Infidelity by tawus (angst, gojo and reader are married)

one day, three autumns by vagabond-umlaut (arranged marriage)

Minazuki by quirklessidiot (enemies to lovers, arranged marriage)

Devoted by aerinth (angst, friends to lovers)(also a geto/reader)

the color yellow by rhydonium (angst, hanahaki disease)(also a geto/reader)

Bonus!

Abalone on the shore by unolvrs (I dont rlly read much toji fics but this one made me sob on a morning! You'll need tissues for this one ig...😞)

[phantome29]

"No point in feeling down about it now Just let my feelings reach your heart"

[swallowerofdharma]

Re: Ocarina of time!

You know it’s on my long list of things to analyze. You can blame a couple of Italian schoolboys in the early 1990s who were gifted with a Game Boy and it was a huge wonder until they started bullying another boy whose parents had bought him another brand console. The bullying included some homophobic slurs that drove me away from them, their games and untimely were such a negative publicity for Nintendo that I never got close to The Legend of Zelda series. It was evident even back then where my alliances were for all that I just had not figured out exactly why. Not the cool kids with the right fashionable stuff, but the ones who were othered. For this very reason, I would like to ask you if you have any idea where the use of the phrasing “degenerative values” comes from? Because that sent chills down my spine.

Something of what you wrote I agree with in principle. After all, contextual criticism is exactly my own personal preference. You recommended me a YouTube video, and I can’t say anything about this one creator since I don’t want to judge a video essay about a game I don’t know enough about and haven’t experienced myself first. But usually almost every time I watched a YouTube video about anime or games from an American fan, I have encountered some kind of weird feeling of racist undertones. Again, not talking here about the specific video you linked! Maybe that’s why I am a little skeptical about othering Japan so much or having Japan positioned against a general “western world”. And I used that same expression when I very superficially want to indicate a geographical position, but I don’t take it very far, we know it’s a gross generalization.

I think I talked about this before with another person, but I personally feel that a large part of the so generally called American culture (Hollywood, Disney, McDonalds, Starbucks, Prozac) or even British bigger exports (Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, monarchy themed things) are more alien to me than the so generally called Japanese one (Candy Candy, Lady Oscar, Captain Tsubasa, Studio Ghibli, Sony, Yahama motorcycles, Muji stores) despite knowing English and therefore maybe having more direct experience. But even if we are talking subcultures like comics books or movies, you have to admit that there is quite a variety in output from within the US or Europe as well. So again generalizations. I have been exposed to American and Japanese media for a long time and starting at the same time, from a third perspective. So YouTube videos in English about Japanese media are confusing at best? Strictly talking for me here. I closed more than one because of the subtle racism I mentioned. It’s the whole point of having a blog where I can write down my own thoughts and try to articulate and learn and I am glad to have occasion for different conversations. I hope you don’t mind the long response as well!

Let’s just make the following distinction: we could analyze (in the sense of observe and understand) the interior lives of the characters on one side and we could pathologize them and therefore treat them as psychologically abnormal. I have seen the last tendency a lot and I sincerely hope that it is clear it’s not something I personally like or what I do in my own writing here. As for use of terms that originated from psychology as a field of research, unfortunately as an English learner I struggle to find many alternatives as easily understandable. I am generally careful with the language, and I have the huge advantage of having some knowledge of Latin and old, ancient Greek, languages English has borrowed from a lot, especially for its more technical lexicon. It’s an insight that also reveals how much words usage can change over time.

But regarding your perspective of psychology entering Japan. I must say I have discarded a couple of manga before because they used popularized psychology terms and concepts a little too much and too literally instead of creatively, and I don’t like to read characters that are written in this way. I understand what you mean by context and I understand what you mean by different social habits to push conformity, but I also see that in every context there is a level of flexibility and anticonformity. For example I am Italian and I am also not Catholic, and you know, they really tried to make me one of them. The push for conformity or the strict patriarchal rules are just such a common trait in societies. What does differ are the ways of showing our relationship within the social system, the bureaucracy and the hierarchies within. But nevertheless there is also the possibility of recognizing our inner lives as individuals and shared problems as experiences as human beings.

From a personal perspective, and through talking about these feelings with other people, for example, I recognize in many moments in Saezuru (not only dialogue, but images as well: for example the juxtapositions between Yashiro and women, or naked female bodies, from Yashiro’s own perspective and even imagination and from the perspective of others) that Yashiro has experiences recognizable under the concept of gender dysphoria, and in addition to that has been othered and treated “differently” and often is the object of transmisogyny in addition to homophobia.

I am well aware of the terminology I am using here. But I am also aware of writing in English, what terminology do I use to indicate those exact concepts? And human experiences themselves are not limited to knowing or not knowing the exact or culturally appropriate terminology. Take the slurs Yashiro has been called with in the manga.

Japan, or every other country, isn’t an untouchable, fixed or slower to change place where we can call upon “western values” having a corrupting or polluting effect, or a salvific one, in my opinion. Which here differ from yours entirely and I hope we can disagree amiably.

There is a painting in a church near me commissioned for and owned by the Catholic Church (the building and the painting).

This is a painting, oil on canvas, dated 1635 and signed by Guido Cagnacci who was a local artist who was especially interested in the style utilized by his contemporary Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, although this isn’t the only inspiration. The name the painting is cataloged with is “Three Jesuit martyrs of Japan”. According to the records, they were sent there to evangelize but they were killed for violating Sakoku. They are represented chained to crosses, with halos and their names and memory preserved for their heroic sacrifice. Not much else is shown in the background, mostly sky, because of the lowered point of view. This resolved easily a problem for the artist who was unfamiliar with the foreign landscapes of Japan. The painting conveys a strong message: pierced throughout their bodies by spears, violently killed while unarmed and in the eyes of the Christian community innocent of any wrongdoing! Surely trespassing shouldn’t require such a violent response! It’s like if you saw some foreigner lurking in your backyard, your private property and you just shoot them no questions asked.

For the longest time, there was this depiction and perceived image of Japan as a hostile, extremely violent and savage country. They would not listen to “reason”, which was the same thing as Christian belief or later foreign military or economic hegemony. Economic necessity and transportation means becoming more efficient forced Japan to reconsider their choice of isolationist policies. Since even before the official end of Sakoku in 1868, Japanese people travelled largely, it was not exclusively foreigners entering Japan. The conversations and mutual exchanges I had access to are mainly those of artistic consequences. Japanese aesthetics, the poetics around the cycling of four seasons and the agricultural and sea environment were unsurprisingly well received in my country for example. We might have cultivated more grain than rice but the seasonal farming and the climate, the relationship and connection to nature were a lot similar. But a lot of other artists, actors, dancers and various entrepreneurs from different countries were attentive as well. Just to give you an example easy to verify, British illustrator Arthur Rackham’s huge career: facilitated by his access to 19th century Japanese woodblock tradition. And what he produced was also a source of inspiration for Japanese artists after, and one of the reasons why Northern European Nordic style can be found in manga. You can see it was a mutual artistic exchange with Japan exporting technology already.

I’m giving you several examples to hopefully show you very clearly where I come from when I approach Saezuru. It’s a place of curiosity, and I try to pay attention to the weight of cultural differences in their historical context, but it’s not a place of condescension, hopefully, from a westerner who wants to force or impose things that don’t belong in Saezuru specifically.

Last example, just because I talked in general or given examples that were setting the background first. But here is a panel from ch 44.

This is the chronological order I have read this dialogue: first the scanlation in English (grateful for that as I am incapable of waiting if I know there is a new chapter!), then the official Italian translation and just very recently I had an epiphany and asked a friend about the original Japanese.

I would not have discovered this if the Italian translation had not been literal here. I understand that the English translator felt the need to reword the sentence here as well, but I do prefer literal translations for this exact reason: I found what I think this is likely to refer to in context. I could make the connection because the Italian translator chose to just transliterate the English expression from Japanese to Italian.

Genderless" (ジェンダーレス, Jendāresu) is a fashion subculture that emerged in Japan in the mid-2010s. Aiming to break societal gender norms in fashion, the genderless subculture is centered on gender non-conforming androgynous fashion. (…) The genderless subculture is seen as a rejection of traditional gender roles.[3] Unlike in the West, the subculture is more associated with fashion than sexuality or gender identity, and is not considered to be a person attempting to "pass" as the opposite gender,[1] or declaring themselves gay or transgender.[2][3] Masafumi Monden, a researcher from the University of Technology Sydney, as well as several genderless men, have reasoned that this is because Japanese society puts a clear separation between appearance and sexuality.[2][3] However, some men have stated that being part of the genderless subculture has made them more accepting of other sexualities.[3]

You could argue that this being from a Wikipedia page in English means that it could present for me the same problem I mentioned I have with watching YouTube video essays. But here, and in some cases with some YouTuber as well, I am offered links to sources for the statements that are being summarized. I could check them. So I am more confident in my assessment that this is very likely what Kamiya was talking about. See, I think it was something I had on my mind: how is Kamiya talking about gender things with Yashiro, we know he likes gossip and that his preferred sources are the women at the clubs (as opposed to Nanahara who discovered about Doumeki visiting Izumi through gossip with the guys in the group). It makes sense to me that Kamiya would have paid attention to fashion trends more than queer culture. Kamiya’s goal is to score and he knows he doesn’t look like Doumeki. It’s just such an interesting conversation with these two characters: think about how little would Kamiya and Yashiro even have in common. But they are clever, observant and can take an outsider look at these things and at yakuza things as well (see Kamiya basically hating his job when he has to threaten a guy with a gun).

Maybe because I don’t usually focus much on shipping, I don’t have a great investment in painting the characters in a better or worse light, I just enjoy them. So this is pretty much my personal stance and attitude. I agree on checking our biases and internalized prejudices, and we are not perfect, it’s inevitable. But it’s possible to analyze the characters Yoneda writes, because of how she wrote them, as individuals in a specific environment, with rich inner lives and thoughts and emotions. We won’t reach all the same conclusions, that is to be expected. But we aren’t using the same methodologies as well. This blog is sometimes a mixed bag: some of my Saezuru posts are from a more personal perspective. For example about Yashiro’s relationship to gender. I didn’t apply so much external filters rather than I recognized something from an internal perspective. And I don’t presume that people (in this case Yashiro as a character) who can’t conform to Japanese current gender norms and rigid standards and rules are exclusively experiencing that struggle because they have been exposed to foreign cultures. I find this very hard to believe. That Yoneda won’t probably write overtly about this goes also hand in hand with the fact that Yashiro can’t likely verbalize all that he (?) feels because 1) Yashiro is 40 years old canonically 2) Yashiro’s life has been shaped by violent patriarchal figures. So this is where I am at. You can think about this as an example of overanalysis or external bias, it’s your own personal opinion and I can only offer you this long answer as a counter point.

I’m giving you a lot to read, sorry for that. But I believe in backing up my arguments with verifiable information, sources, and most importantly, openly showing how detailed Saezuru is in its depictions, how many things presented there can be verified as well. Each of us can do the double thing of processing the manga internally, through our subjective experiences as human beings regarding pain, rejection, love and so on. And processing the manga again externally, with the help of the information available about yakuza habits, criminal justice and other systems Yoneda writes about. Hope this is helpful!

Feb 5, 2024 I don’t remember if there was something that inspired this one tweet. But it was also uploaded on the Saezuru discord server and of course it was something that would have caught my attention regardless. Since I shared my immediate thoughts on discord I didn’t bring it up on tumblr as well, but I think it’s good that I save it here as well.

Yoneda Kou Sensei expressing individuality, awareness and understanding of her artistic voice in context is something I like to pay attention to.

Oct 8, 2024 Yoneda Kou Sensei has been uploading chapters from Saezuru vol. 1 on her twitter account. This is what she also wrote the day she uploaded chapter 2 and the image is what she is referring to specifically as her favorite scene. Notice how she knows very well that her own preferences and the things that intrigue and interest her are probably different from those of her editor on one hand and those of her readers on the other. Self awareness doesn’t mean that she does everything she can to conform to those expectations because she understands that her vision and authorial voice matter as well and are maybe what makes Saezuru the successful manga it is. She asked for the readers to share their preferences and opinions as well. That is expected. It’s a conversation and it’s encouraging. And also a bit of clever marketing.

“The second heartwarming chapter. When I said that, my editor burst out laughing. It's heartwarming, right? I like the scene where he gives her a condom. But I can't put that on page 0. I know that the parts I like aren't so much liked by the readers, so I asked them to let me know and put them here. What do you think? I'll upload the third chapter sometime soon”.

Automatic translation from twitter got some of that wrong. The part I underlined in yellow is okay though.

I’m not the most methodical person and I didn’t collect all of what Yoneda shared on SM and all her interviews. I also don’t think that they are necessary to form the opinion one can have about the manga. But for me personally these types of insights give me the reassurance that yes I prefer Saezuru’s way of telling a story about a survivor of CSA for specific reasons and one is that the author lets what goes on around her in the real world be a source that informs her writing too. And she demonstrated to be a keen observer.

Also friendly reminder that Japanese people had and still have discussions about consent in the same way as many other countries in the “Western” world. The insularity of Japan ended like two centuries ago? And A LOT happened since Saezuru started publication. And it might be subtle but Saezuru’s way of showing things demonstrates that changes since Shiori Ito’s case broke public censorship have not gone unnoticed. You can also look up the Flower Demo movement and the different hashtags used in Japan in addition or in alternative to #MeToo. And to me it’s really hard to overlook that gender had a complex significance in all this and that male sexual assault victims being recognized for the first time since the constitution of modern Japan contributed to defy other rape myths as well. And because Yoneda has a habit to observe reality, even maintaining firm boundaries between fiction/manga and reality, I believe she is still aware that the themes of Saezuru might resonate differently within that knowledge. And considering that distinction: I hope it’s clear that another manga like Haikyuu was largely successful because of its realism. Yes, the characters are fictional, but a lot of what was shown regarding volleyball followed closely the rules, strategies and experiences of real life. Realism applied to manga doesn’t mean that you see a strict copy of reality or that the author isn’t creating a story that is entirely fictional and focuses heavily in aspects that can solicit a positive response from its readers.

But can you really look at Doumeki’s father, at Inami, at every action the police take in Saezuru and think that this manga shows us policemen in such an idealized way or as a source of inspiration? Can you look at Doumeki being successfully integrated into both the police force and the yakuza and not see the implications? Yashiro’s position of wakagashira was shown as a fluke by Yoneda who took great care to describe all the ways Misumi had a role in it and all the discontent that provoked, in addition to the rumors and threats and the fact that Yashiro is alive because Ryuuzaki defied Hirata’s orders. And I can go on but the point is.

In writing and sharing my analyses, I hope to pay tribute to the particular attention, awareness and sensibility that Yoneda Kou Sensei demonstrates. Telling a story as fictional as it can be but without denying reality altogether.

[lieutenant-amuel]

My Favourite Helluva Boss Character - Fizzarolli

[katabay]

fifteen men on a dead man's chest, it's time for: pirates!

there's an idea here, and the idea is slowly turning into a story, and in march I've got some one shot comics about pirates I want to post! ideally, in march. hopefully in march. there's a lot of stuff to figure out, drawing wise. I spent an amount of time I won't mention researching the history of leg prosthetics & vintage leg prosthetic designs for basilica, and I haven't even figured out tall ships. which is. well. it's pirates, what are pirates without tall ships

[lmao-ooooooo]

wwx is the type of guy who always has 100000000+ yuan worth of items in his cart in online shopping stores but never buys ANYTHING like ever! so one day he leaves his computer open and his lovely husband lwj sees all the items on his cart, he decides to buy everything on it because if wwx has it in his cart he must really want it! and wwx needs to spoil himself more. wwx gets soooo freaked out when he sees his shopping cart (that hes been adding stuff onto for years btw) sitting infront of his door, acting as an extra wall when he tries to leave their house for something. he starts panicking bc he thinks he accidently pressed check out. he starts trying to return everything bc theres NO way he can justify spending that much money, no matter how much his husband makes. later lwj stops him ofc, telling him he should have everything he wants and if he wanted everything that was on his cart then he should have them. wwxs argument was there was not enough space in their house for all of this random shit (there definitely was) and lwj said with the straightest face ever

"fine. we'll get a larger house then"

"WHAT NO LAN ZHAN"

wwx somehow made everything worse wtf!

"anything for my wife."

[shpeederman]

Ah, sorry for the confusion, there was a 2013 reboot called DmC: Devil May Cry (which specifically kept the m in the acronym lower-case for some reason) that was developed by Ninja theory that flopped pretty bad, the original DMC do be a bit dated but is still an incredible experience in its own right.

As for Dante being cocky: yeah I completely forgot about that when writings that, he does absolutely ooze overconfident-little-shit vibes in DMC3 and now that I think about it comparing Netflix Dante to all versions of game Dante instead of just the ones the same age and younger than Netflix Dante was a bit unfair.

It also doesn't help that my familiarity with Dante stems from other forms of DMC media besides just the games, which I think paints a fundamentally different picture of Dante than the games alone, with an especially good example being the original Madhouse anime, which is canon to the games, which somehow bridges the gap between the original DMC and DMC3 surprisingly well.

I honestly could go about arguing about how Adi completely fucked up the DMC show for much longer but let me summarize to the best of my abilities: I think the point about Dante's lack of agency in the narrative is one of the three fundamental cornerstones of why this show failed as Devil May Cry adaptation, the others being a complete mischaracterisation of the Demons on a fundamental level which both undermines the core themes of DMC and ruins Sparda's role in the narrative, and of course we have the travesty that is 'Mary Arkham', who curses like a sailor for reasons beyond me, has plot armor stronger than Goku and whoes mere existence is an insult to Lady as Lady would rather choke on tar than say her birth name for reasons that are understandable at least for me.

Anyways thank you for coming to my TED talk and have a pleasant morning/day/evening, and know that long, super ln-depth research and long essays are the bane of my existence.

oh no.

[spoilers below]

as someone who hasn't played the games and mostly knows Dante through the "I'm dummy thicc and the clap of my a** keeps alerting the guards" and him dancing like MJ memes, gotta say he seemed in character.

though I remember gaining interest because a fanboy on youtube was complaining so I spent a decent amount of the show trying to figure it out...I eventually did? it's a matter of agency? like they didn't give him enough agency to feel like the main character? didn't feel like his decisions really counted.

[ohhamlet-art]

let's have an ms paint