#y'all better psychoanalyze this

[thevirgodoll]

Any tips for a first date? - Makeup,Hair,Outfit Ideas💋Plus mannerisms,do’s and don’ts 💅🏾

First Date Tips💕

Disclaimer: Everyone has their preferences but this is what I find to make the most sense 🩷

General Beauty Tips:

Stick to what you know. This isn’t the time to try something new with your look. You want to be as confident as possible.

Play up your best features. For example, more blush to accentuate your cheekbones or lip liner for stronger lips.

Less is more. People across all identities can generally agree on this. While we do want to have some sense of glamour, we never want to overdo it.

Wear comfortable shoes! You never know what y'all could end up doing.

Bring gum or portable mouthwash with you. You need to make sure that breath is FRESH. You don't want something stuck in your teeth either... yikes!

Put powder in your purse so you can go touch up. I suggest going to the bathroom at least once to double check on yourself or at least have a mirror to look at yourself in.

Mannerisms, Do's & Don'ts:

DON'T: Chew with your mouth wide open! If you are talking and your mouth is full, cover your mouth with your hand as you speak.

DO: Put your cloth in your lap so no crumbs/etc spill all over your outfit.

DO: Wipe your mouth with your cloth/napkin.

DO: Make eye contact if you can, if not look between their eyes lol. But eye contact is the most powerful thing on a first date.

DON'T: Go on a date you're uncomfortable with. If they want to walk around a park and that freaks you out, say so.

DON'T: Feel pressured to have your date a certain way. Whatever is YOUR preference, stick to that. But DO be open to creative date ideas.

DO: Engage in creative conversations. Small talk can get tiresome after a while. It helps a LOT if you guys have been on the phone/Facetiming up until this point because it makes it less awkward.

DON'T: Talk about how badly you want a relationship. It's not wise to show desperation, from you or the other person lol.

DO: have a friend you trust and keep them up to date on the entire date. That friend or family member should be ready if something goes wrong. But that friend or family member should also be hyping you up!

DON'T: let them know how much you've been FBI stalking this person. Background checks are imperative, but they don't need to KNOW you've done this let alone dug through their tweets dating back to 7 years ago lol.

DON'T: even think about doing drugs! You need to be SOBER! Unless this is your partner, I DO NOT recommend drinking on this date!!!

DON'T: Overly judge, psychoanalyze or nitpick this individual. AVOID getting too personal omg. While you do want to hit important topics and need to (cause what if they're an incel lol), keep it light and positive. Some reservations DO need to be kept to yourself to not make it overly awkward for both of you.

DON'T: even think about talking about that ex! Better yet, don't tell them anything about them except that it was good and y'all decided to go separate ways. I wouldn't share that something might've occurred until y'all are way more personable. I know it's HARD, but you don't know this person girl!

DO: Use discernment and keep your guard up.

DO: Keep things light, soft, and feminine. You have the power. Don't cuss too much (unless y'all are friends like that), don't go off about things that you hate, just chill. They need to walk away wondering about you rather than thinking about everything you've said.

Things to consider:

As far as the touch barrier, it's all about the vibes you personally have. How personable are you and the other person? What happens after this date is your choice. Only do what YOU are comfortable with.

Have you both been talking up until this point? Personally, I like to talk on the phone for a few days before and familiarize myself. Texting is not the vibes. Y'all are not pen pals!

Have you vetted this individual before this date? What are their views on paying for dates? Are they the romantic type? Have they shown any red flags up until this point? If you haven't vetted them, get ready to. AND DON'T GO EASY ON THEM JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE LONELY! THEY ARE REPLACEABLE! 😭

Make a list of your icks! Are they a sloppy eater? Do they show manners during dinner to the waitress/etc? If doing an activity, do they include you, or are they more worried about themselves? Make a list of what you expect to see also. For example, I expect at least the bare minimum: told I'm beautiful, flowers on a first date, and for the door to be opened lol.

What is the safety level here? Are the two of you acquainted enough for you to get in their car? Remember, this is objectively a stranger (unless otherwise proven). What are the plans that y'all have? The safest rule is to ALWAYS drive yourself in case something goes wrong, and always go somewhere well-lit. Don't drive too far out, either... that shows inconsideration on their behalf for your well-being.

What is the relationship you have with this person? Do they show intention with you even while y'all aren't out and about? Have they made their intentions clear?

If you are comfortable enough, plan the next date. If not, politely remove yourself. Everything weighs on behavior even BEFORE the date, in my opinion.

Here is a bit of a mood board for the first date. Have fun, girl, and just relax. Keep these things in mind but remember YOU are the one they are pursuing, not the other way around. YOU hold the world in your hands. Don't ever go through things as if you need to impress this person. Do THEY impress you? Food for thought. Keep me updated! 🎀

[gwemmieee]

I do just want to say, I think most people under a certain level of maturity fundamentally misunderstand something vital about femininity and feminine people.

Women are constantly beaten down by the world, and a lot of us have developed persecution complexes as a result of that continuous lifelong trauma. A lot of us also can unconsciously choose to operate in this toxic masculine mode of personal growth where you scold yourself and negatively criticize yourself before actually processing your feelings and your pain. But I think a core component of what defines the feminine gender identity for me and many women is the simple fact that it's deeply unhealthy for us to do that. Given education and a choice, we're better, happier people when we focus on building ourselves up, including constructive criticism (and never any other kind of criticism pleasethankyou). That's why we can be so kind, open, and nurturing--it's how we have to treat ourselves to get along, so it's natural to treat others that way too.

I think a lot of people catch a vibe that I operate this way and start to judge me. They psychoanalyze me, or treat me like a predator, because the mere hint that someone is actually being so compassionate with themselves reminds them of an abusive narcissist. Which is actually really weird to me, because I've spent most of my life being abused by narcissists, including my entire biological family, and their abusive behavior was actually very toxic masculine and very clearly came from how *not* nurturing they were with themselves, choosing only to affirm their righteousness when they were angry with me for having feelings.

And to be honest, it's been a real challenge to unpack everything they taught me and become a better person than them, and this decision of building myself up as a feminine person and validating my own pain as a deeply sensitive person with a persecution complex, has been by far the most helpful and self-improving decision I've ever made. And I can't help but notice that it's... actually extremely normal these days for almost any woman out there, especially victims of abuse (which is most of us), to openly broadcast that they, too, have struggled with all of this, and that it's OK and in fact really good to operate this way. From your local community caretakers being tough by experience to Taylor Swift shaking it off.

So yeah. I'm a woman, and I'm 30 years old, and I've been around myself enough to know for a fact how I can continue to become a better and better person to myself and everyone around me. And it's weird and harmful that a lot of immature folks out there sort of unconsciously hate me and try to control me as a response, though maybe not as much now that I'm able to really recognize this.

It was also a lot harder before I transitioned. People REALLY hate it when perceived men are like this. They REALLY assume that person is a predator almost at first glance when they catch that vibe. And that is also super weird, unfair, and... prejudiced, tbh. And this I think is a big part of the root of why transmisogyny happens. Because being a trans woman means a lot of people who haven't fully unpacked their own internalized bullshit kind of just instinctively believe that I must be an evil person if I operate this way as someone who was (unsuccessfully) raised/socialized as male. And it's a vicious cycle I think, because the tendency for people who only understand toxic masculinity and do not understand how women operate is probably a huge part of why so many people abuse and control women, and also why so many women are so afraid of anything perceived as masculine.

Frankly? Y'all need to educate yourselves on what narcissism actually is and how it actually works. Vibing out your instinct that someone is a narcissist because they visibly praise and nurture themselves is not that different from vibing out that an AMAB person is a serial killer just because they're experimenting with feminine presentations.

I know that a lot of abusive narcissists in history and the media who you don't know personally, like cult leaders, fake psychologists, etc., project this image of someone who is charming and always loves and praises themselves, and maybe that's why it's so common that people sort of assume that's what a narcissist looks like. But it's not. I promise you, every single one of them is actually deeply mean and toxic to anyone and everyone behind closed doors, including themselves, and they've just gotten really good at hiding it because they're an actual predator. And--this is key--there is nothing harmful about presenting as a kind, loving, charming person. It's actually very good to do that. It's specifically the part where they treat it like a facade that is dropped when it's time to prey on people, that makes them abusive. Being judgmental and afraid of someone just because you think they're *too* charming and kind is just... weird. Just because one of their yums is themselves in a way you don't personally vibe with, doesn't mean you need to yuck it. Attributing danger and harm onto someone who's shown signs of neither doesn't help anyone. Actual predators will show themselves eventually. And predators that competent are hecking rare. I have spent so much time being abused by narcissists who basically can't fake being better people like we always expect them to, but they were able to fake it to me because I didn't know any better at the time. Making me their prey. Most predators just aren't that good at it and so they find more gullible prey. The really scary predators who will successfully trick you, the discerning skeptic misanthrope, are vastly outnumbered by just regular people who happen to have highly developed self-love skills.

[taekookficrecs]

HELLO! ive been reading a lot recently, so here's a few fics i want to submit anonymously <3

thejoth's: aching joints, if it's not said (will you still know), and hey stud

honeymi's i wouldn't know any better than you

drawingspaces' nostalgia corrosiva

porridgemilk's when autumn comes let just one bird sing

veausy's if you've bled (i'll bleed the same), compersion, nolo contendre

annangst's let me in (let me get closer)

geryoneis' soft sounds from another planet

bluevalo's the prosody of misconception

redpangur's: you're my blue, august slipped away, stay dark red

it feels insane that i get to rec all these without screaming and dying about each individual one for paragraphs and paragraphs

hellooo, thank you for the ask/recs! i'll add the links here :) i hope y'all enjoy!!! (some notes: i couldn't find bluevalo's the prosody of misconception t___t)

Aching Joints - thejoth (( 17/17 | E | 145,555 ))

No matter who you are, growing pains are inevitable. Taehyung and Jungkook learn this firsthand.

i wouldn't know (any better than you) - honeymi (( 1/1 | T | 19,423 ))

Taehyung stares into his cup of untouched camomile tea. “Can you… can you repeat like. All of that again?” Jungkook sips his own tea nervously. “All of it?” “Yeah.” Taehyung watches a few errant leaves drift around the bottom of his mug. “Or just like. That part about you being the personification for the concept of fate again?” “Well, that’s not quite it,” Jungkook mutters. “It’s more like… I’m the human vessel for it. I help carry out Fate's tasks." Taehyung looks up at Jungkook. “Right. Sorry. Go over the part about you being a human vessel for Fate again.”

[Or: Jungkook knits a lot, and Taehyung learns about the behind-the-scenes of human connection.]

nostalgia corrosiva - drawingspaces (( 1/1 | M | 26,500 ))

taehyung and jeongguk are very good at getting other people to talk to each other. they’re not very good at the talking thing themselves. 

or: the one in which they run an investigative podcast, don’t psychoanalyze anyone, and the scariest thing isn’t falling off the edge of a waterfall.

When Autumn Comes Let Just One Bird Sing - porridgemilk (( 8/11 | M | 67,002 ))

Somehow, despite sharing a childhood together, it’s been years since Jeongguk had even thought about Taehyung much at all. In all of his childhood photos, Taehyung was a permanent fixture, as if they couldn’t exist without each other. Joined at the hip, those two, their mothers would always say. Nothing in the world can get between them, huh? 

Jeongguk thinks that perhaps their mothers and everyone in the town hadn’t accounted for the simple fact of time passing them all by. 

-- Or,

Jeongguk is forced to come back to the town he spent most of his childhood in and finds that it's not the same place that he left behind. Neither is he. He's nothing he dreamed he would become when he first left this place.

if you've bled, i'll bleed the same - veausy (( 1/1 | T | 5,200 ))

All that blood in your mouth, he thinks, swiping a rusty smear of it off Jungkook's cheek, just next to his swollen, shiny mouth. The boy in his hold laughs, wild and crazed and feral. I wish it were mine.

nolo contendere - veausy (( 1/1 | M | 13,650 ))

The first thing Taehyung usually told the jury was that Jungkook Jeon doesn’t look like a cold-blooded murderer.

The second thing he usually told the jury was that there’s no particular way a murderer should look.

compersion - veausy (( 1/1 | T | 12,300 ))

“You can start off slow, with a few innocent kisses,” Yoongi pipes up, “but, you know, a true couple would show quite a bit of intimacy over the course of two weeks on a cozy winter holiday.” He swallows, then sneers at Jimin, who grins back. Taehyung’s hands curl into two fists, but he locks his elbows in and breathes deeply. “So maybe you two can spend some quality time getting to know each other before our flight.”

“What a splendid suggestion,” Taehyung drawls. “Want me to show you where to put it?”

Jeongguk, breaking out of his comfort zone of typical and total silence, smacks the edge of his phone against the table. “See, why are you like that? You already said yes, why do you need to be unbearable?”

let me in (let me get closer) - annangst (( 4/? | T | 46,196 ))

Taehyung and Jungkook are petty enemies. They're also roommates in college. Because of course they are. 

or, alternatively: finally the unnecessarily domestic enemies to lovers story i was always destined to write

soft sounds from another planet - geryoneis (( 17/17 | E | 90,530 ))

There are props to a marriage. First, the person tracking the words. Second, the heart.

You're My Blue - redpangur (( 9/9 | E | 69,122 ))

His voice has this odd timbre, dark and a little low, and he’s good-naturedly ribbing Jimin with this bright, rectangular smile, strands of blue hair in his eyes, and suddenly Jungkook feels dizzy. He redirects his gaze to his bag, tries to remember what he was even pretending to search for. 

Jungkook really isn’t looking for a crush. First of all because he tends to fall too hard, and he’s trying not to be that way anymore. And second of all because he needs to focus on this new program—to find his bearings, prove that he belongs. He doesn’t need any distractions. So this thing, where this guy he doesn’t know is ruffling Jimin’s hair and making Jungkook feel fluttery—it’s not ideal.

~~~

Grad school AU. Taehyung is a cagey history masters student, and Jungkook is a dance MFA with a big ole crush.

August Slipped Away - redpangur (( 18/18 | E | 88,411 ))

“I’m 25,” Jeongguk says readily, sucks another drip of ice cream off of his knuckles.

“Oh. I’m 28.”

It tracks, Jeongguk thinks, slots readily in with everything else he knows about him. “Wow. And your only job prospect is dishwasher?”

The bloom of Taehyung’s smile is slow. “I’m having a terrible time here on my fake honeymoon, by the way. Zero stars.”

“That’s a shame. Wouldn’t recommend it to other fake honeymooners?”

“Definitely not.”

~~~

Taehyung goes on a fake honeymoon!!! Jeongguk is just trying to get some work done.

Stay Dark Red - redpangur (( 3/3 | E | 83,067 ))

“Did you just watch Jungkook eat an entire pomegranate?”

Taehyung looks up, flummoxed. He tries to think of a suitable response. He lands on: “No.”

Jimin nods slowly, phone resting on his chest. “Alright.”

admin nj has rec'd nostalgia corrosiva as well! that's how you know it's gonna be good ;) - admin jh

[mrsnancywheeler]

Omg ur recent post abt Conway — so true. IT HURTS. Although finnick and conway starting to beef as soon as they met was kinda funny, it’s also really sad :(

To come to the realization that the girl you’ve been pining for your whole life won’t feel the same way about you (and has been manipulating you as a means to survive) DURING THE GAMES is insane.

But also, I cant stop thinking abt that brief moment between when the reader was reaped and when conway was reaped. I couldn’t imagine how he felt after she was called :/ before that, he probably thought he had the chance to finally be with her, only to see her to get reaped and potentially die, while also being mentored by her ex :( and before he could even process that HE GETS REAPED?? this is the type of tragedy you can only find in Shakespeare fr

ik i keep acting shocked, but it’s so valid for katniss to be thinking like this right now. her only focus is survival and she understands that one of the keys to survive the game is to perform for the capitol. Idk what do u think abt that?🫣

-🦅

yes I love psychoanalyzing my character to no end

because reader was being honest when she said she probably would've ended up with Conway, realistically they would've ended up together if the games hadn't happened. she would have settled to have a normal life with him and would have been happy enough, but never as happy as she would be with Finnick

and Conway cared about her so much, that he would've been fine with that. honestly though I don't think Conway could have won, I think he was so angry when he realized reader had been using him, known his feelings and used it to get back to someone who'd once broken her heart just set him off. I think he would've instantly been flooded with guilt if she'd died and so either Birch or Marlowe would've won.

additionally I think about how Conway never would be able to understand why reader couldn't just actually love him back, when he cared so much, was so reasonable, but she just didn't want the life he did. and I tried to portray some of those differences when it came to reader wanting the peaches and trading the necklace because he's so do what you need, use what you can afford, and value what people give you, where's she more of you only live once, live for the moment, at least before her games.

and yes, reader knows that she has to perform to survive and that if she wins she can help her family, she would've thought she'd finally be able to live the life she wanted, and maybe finnick would take her back. in the catching fire book, Katniss mentions how she doesn't believe any victor is really a pure person since they did what they had to do to survive (she makes an exception for peeta) and I love being able to reflect that too. reader isn't some angel of a person, she uses someone's feelings, she manipulated, and lies. she's also a teenager, so even things she does before the games to conway are side effects of her being human and a teenager. she's not perfect, finnick's not perfect, conway isn't perfect. but they're all victims and all deserve so much better.

also a while back @howilyte made playlists about Conway and reader which I listen to a lot and there are at least two songs I need y'all to know I listen to whenever I'm thinking about writing each of them are

The Moon Will Sing for Conway

Just a Man for reader

anyways, sorry this is so long, but I love talking about all the intricacies so much and thank you for doing it with me, literally I want to hear every thought

[thatstonedwriter]

Thoughts on the newest episode? 👀👀 lmk what y'all think!! I'll leave my opinions under the cut if you're interested 💛

I've only watched once, so these will be rough bullet points

Positives:

Animation and music was fucking awesome. Fave songs were "Fuck You" and the Clown one (can't remember the name)

The kiddo Fizz spoke sign language to???? I'm fucking deceased. That was really cute

Love seeing more of Ozzie and Fizz and seeing some of the issues within the relationship. Love the complexity shown in a healthy relationship!

Insight into the exploitative nature of the entertainment industry (I'm sure the team used some personal experience as reference)

Comedy was great- the physical gags and insults were well-executed and fucking hilarious

Little Fizz and Blitzø were adorable. Already seeing posts psychoanalyzing them, and I'm eating that shit up

Neutral/Negative

Wish the sisters had a bit more character. I understand they're competition, but they didn't bring much to the table imo

Asmodeus and Fizz's relationship with Blitzø feels a bit rushed. I get Asmodeus says that Blitzø protected Fizz, and that Fizz did t want to hold a grudge for 15 years. More time could be spent on the relationship, but maybe that's something the team is saving for later

I've only watched once so far, but the other two songs weren't as memorable. They're not bad, they just didn't stick with me like the others did

I think Mammon's design could've been a bit better. His and Bee's designs feel somewhat under-utilized. I like Mammon's multiple arms (grabbing at everything) and Bee's ears and the lava-lamp torso, but again, they're under-utilized and a bit lacking for the Deadly Sins.

[itsawritblr]

Hey, people under 45, here's something you need to know.

I posted that sometimes your interest in a fandom ends and you give away your stuff. I got this reply:

I know a lot of you are still in the life-stage in which you believe "My love for this will last forever!"

Y'all need to go to Goodwill, collectible stores, and vintage shops. Take a look around.

See all the toys and action figures? See all the Hummel figures, sports memorabilia, dolls, fancy dishes?

Know why they're there?

Because people no longer wanted them.

Sure, some are there because their owner died, and the person who handled their estate didn't want them, and relatives didn't want them, so the belongings were donated. But more often than not it's people who have outgrown a fandom-hobby-interest.

This happens so often there are tons of thrift shops and vintage stores.

And then there's ebay and Etsy. Look at all the fandom shit for sale there. That's people over their fandom and cleaning out their closets, attics, and storage units. Often cleaning them out so they have room for a new fandom-hobby-interest.

It's not a "crisis." If you live long enough, if you grow and change and don't remain stagnant, you'll lose interest in lots of things you once loved.

Including people. 50% of people who legally proclaimed "I'll love you forever" are now divorced. Often bitterly.

Don't try to psychoanalyze other people. You can't guess for a second what they're feeling, thinking, or what their motivations are. Apparently @katmor4lockwood-co thought she was going to shock me with a revelation that I'd miss my Beetlejuice shit. Who the hell is she? She doesn't know the first thing about me.

What she's doing could very well be transference. Because maybe she has issues about letting things go. Or maybe she gave away stuff and now regrets it. Who knows? All I do know is she felt she had to make a stupid-ass assumption about a complete stranger.

If you're under the age of 45, don't pretend to know what life's like for mature adults. You can't know. Not until you're here. And by then, you may well have given away a whole bunch of crap you once held dear. Cuz Life.

If you're 45 or older, you should know better.

[awesamcozy]

i know people are mad about how people are using what phil said, but holy shit some of y'all... "well phil could still remember" yeah, and maybe a grieving man doesn't want to constantly do the mental math of Who on the server does and doesnt have amnesia so he can mention techno without getting a "who's that?" jesus fucking christ. maybe trust that the man knows his grief better than you do, even if he didn't go into depth psychoanalyzing himself on stream

Exactly like i just trust what he said and im ready to move on but NO nowits a conspiracy

[emmaspadoodles]

It was recently the 1 anniversary of the fanfic I've been writing and a lot of things came to mind.

1. WHAT?! Where did the time GO 🤯

2. I BARELY WROTE ANYTHING 😭

3. A lot of things have happened in that time frame and I am not the same person I once was 👁👁

4. I actually committed to a long-term creative project? 🤨

And in the words of my cognitive behavioral therapist.

We should unpack that.

Now I'm not going to psychoanalyze my nonexistent sense of time because every year I get a little older, and every year I lose the sense of time and the fabric of space and continuum, BUT I think those last 3 are pretty interesting, and I think they're common thoughts to have as any creator.

2. At first glance, maybe not, but WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I WROTE 40K WORDS OVER ANYTHING- ZAMNNnnn

That's...

*Grabs my caluculater*

...3k per month. 833 words per week, and I was a full-time student.

Could it be seen as lazy? Sure, but let's choose to see that I am great at avoiding burn-out. (School burned me out first, but yk)

Could I have achieved more? Yes, and I have before, but I am not that mentally ill teenager I was in quarantine with nothing but time. 50k words in 1 month is RIDICULOUS! WHO LET ME DO THAT?! Bad comparison. Horrible comparison actually. Those were two different people. Write at your own pace, y'all. Be kind and considerate of you right now, not to who you were or think you should be.

3. Jesus christ I was busy this year, and a lot of things happened too. I lost a few people, I almost lost a few more, and yet I keep writing.

For escapism? Definitely, but what is creativity and stories if not to pass the time and escape your own life for a bit. Maybe I needed it. Escapism doesn't have to be a negative thing. I think I benefited from it.

4. I figured out that I actually can commit to long term projects. I can. I know I could, but there was always that doubt and self-hatred that I was too scatter-brained, too lazy, not good enough, etc.

Is 1 year really that long? In the grand scheme of things, no. It's a sliver of my life. But it's also 365 days I kept coming back to something. I pushed myself to keep doing something I loved and y'know what? I loved most of the days I spent writing. Not all, but most.

Could I have had a better schedule? Absolutely. In fact, I had no writing schedule, and the fact that I somehow wrote 20 chapters in a year baffles me. I find it a miracle I didn't quit in the early chapters, but maybe it's not. Maybe just this once I can blame myself for something good and not credit the universe. Let's choose to see I did well, and the person I become in the future will do the best they can as well.

This was a ramble and more of a self-reflection than anything else, but we are all about self-positivity over here because shit is too hard not to be. I think anniversaries of any kind should be celebrated, not a time to critique yourself because you do it all year long anyways. Take a break, pat yourself on the back, and be kind to you and others.

[hatchetmanofficial]

What are the characters signature dish? Since we know Alan is good with breakfast ^^

oooh! Yes!

Alan really likes a combination of a sweet and savory breakfast. Since he is a breakfast enjoyer and what he mostly runs on, he indulges himself and makes a whole meal. A classic sunny-side-up of eggs, ham, bacon, biscuits, and/or waffles. Yes, he is the type to pour syrup ALL OVER his dish.

Erika really loves pastries. So coffee with a pastry is her dish. She doesn't mind sweet fraps but she prefers the bitterness of her drink. A flat white with an Ube pie pastry. She values simplicity with her meals.

Stu loves quick and cheap fast food/snacks. His diet consists of mostly snacks and not full meals. He can't cook to save his life unless you count using the microwave as "cooking". So his dish would be a Ham & cheese sandwich w/ the crusts cut off, a fruit punch soda can, potato chips, and snack cakes. One homemade meal but still a lot of processed garbage.

Claude is a great cook who knows what he's doing. Being the pompous asshole that he is, he only gets the best and freshest ingredients for his meals. In fact, he used to make meal plans for his brothers back in the day. His dish would be parsnip gratin, freshly pressed juice with a shot of liquor, and a cigarette.

Much like Claude, Jules is also a good cook. He loves comfort/homemade food and is always delighted to cook it. He is the type to go a little overboard and was told by Claude himself that he "wastes food when cooking". But he only sees it as a plus because he has leftovers to feed him the next day. He loves stews and soups the most. A hearty and filling meal. His dish would be a creamy clam chowder bread bowl.

James is similar to Alan as he does indulge himself with food. But instead of breakfast, it's either lunch or dinner. Since he is Texan, and grew up in a rural part for a good chunk of his life, a classic Texas BBQ and a long-island iced tea is his dish.

[evans-heaven]

So we're blaming him now? Awesome.

[veronicathegoddess]

different anon, other anon is right, please note this isn’t hate, I used to enjoy a lot of that “breeding kink” stuff at the time I was experiencing severe trauma and depression, recovery helps you realise a lot of your own patterns were caused by abuse and misogyny, one such pattern is kinks.

or and hear me out right because i have basically no desire to ever procreate and bring a child onto this burning capitalist hellhole, i have a breeding kink because it's fun. i don't want kids but i get to have all the excitement of begging him to put a baby inside me and getting cum in.

but apparently everyone on tumblr is sigmund fucking freud because my kinks are getting psychoanalyzed through trauma that isn't even mine. y'all keep missing the point.

disrespectfully, i give not one singular fuck about your trauma and whether you had a breeding kink when you were depressed and going through recovery helped you realized that your kinks were formed cause of abuse and misogyny. what does this have to do with my breeding kink? and quite frankly if your depression was giving you a breeding kink, you're better than half of us because the only thing mine gave me was sadness, suicidal ideation and a lack of motivation.

and congrats, thank you for telling me what i already knew, abuse causes kinks...wow scientific revelation of the century. baby we been knew and like i've said before, i use kink to process my trauma which is also completely healthy. and i can pinpoint every single one of my kinks that are trauma based and guess what freud? the breeding kink isn't one of them.

also if you has a breeding kink pre-recovery, that left post-recovery, maybe use some of that beautiful psychoanalysis on yourself and figure out why instead of acting like your trauma is universal and that i'm going to go, oh no, this random person on the internet that i don't know or care about was depressed and had a breeding kink so i'm depressed and have a breeding kink cause of that.

the tldr is: trauma isn't universal, please stop projecting onto people because of your experiences and some people have kinks because they're just fun not because they're depressed or formed out of some sort of abuse.

[symphonicmetal101]

OM React To An MC Who Has Low Self-Esteem/Self-Deprecates

This post is short. Some of them I combined bc I didn't want to be repetitive. again.

Lucifer, Diavolo, Satan, Simeon

isn't completely new to the idea of self hate

was just shocked to hear it coming from you

will have you sit down and talk with him to try and source why you feel that way, or if there are certain triggers

Will do everything in their power to make sure they can prevent you from feeling that way, whether it be in little compliments throughout the day, working together to achieve personal goals that you believe will make you feel better, etc.

Will either be or find the best therapist for you, and will check in often to see how you're doing.

Lucifer will text you randomly to call you into his office. He has an excuse every time, but he makes sure to compliment you or remind you how important you are.

Satan is likely to psychoanalyze you, but in a way that won't overwhelm you. He'll try and give you books and other resources that offer coping mechanisms that he'll help you with.

Diavolo would send you a text every morning telling you something he loves about you. He'll also follow up with you to make sure you go to therapy.

Simeon would make more time to spend with you, and make sure you know you're worth every moment.

Mammon, Beel, Asmo, (Diavolo as well?)

they do not take well to you saying bad things about yourself, but in a soft way

very, very concerned for you

Mammon would make you pay him every time you said something self-deprecating, the fine varying on how severe it is. If you don't have money, then you have to pay him through spending time with him.

Asmo would kiss you until you started to feel better, whispering affirmations to you while he tries to hold back tears for your sake. He loves you so much, and wants you to see yourself the way he sees you.

Beel would get some blankets and pillows from Belphie and turn you into a burrito, not letting you go until you've said as many good things about yourself as you did bad.

every time you start to go down-hill, they'll hold you close and remind you of all the things they love and appreciate about you- both for personality and looks.

won't ever leave you alone, unless absolutely unavoidable. They know what it's like to deal with those thoughts on their own, and they feel a bit of them dying every time they think about you trying to do it on your own. They will always be nearby.

Solomon, Belphagor

These two enforce positivity through force

They don't really know how to work through your emotions, but they want to help you stop

Every time you start to seem low or you explicitly state how you feel about yourself, Belphie will hit you with a pillow and then hold you until you say something good about yourself....even once you do you're not leaving the bed.

Solomon will cast a spell that makes you say the opposite of what you mean until he hears what he needs to.

So all in all, not great, but their hearts are in the right place.

Barbatos

He is a very confident demon, and has had little in life that he regrets, as he can see the consequences of his actions before he does things

That being said, he has helped Diavolo through bouts of self-doubt

He also knows when days will be particularly taxing mentally for you, so he'll make extra effort to remind you how wonderful you are, and to make the day easier for you

On these days, he also helps you set manageable goals to help you feel better overall

Levi (drabble bc yes)

This is the king of Self-hate, deprecating, etc.

You are his Henry, and the first time he hears you say something like that, he almost starts crying.

"NO! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT!"

"WHY NOT LEVI?! YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TELL YOU NOT TO SAY BAD STUFF ABOUT YOURSELF!"

"THAT'S DIFFERENT!" "NO IT'S NOT!

Levi gets a little blushy, but there is a set determination in his eyes. He turns to look directly at you, and hesitantly reaches out to hold your hands.

"...look, I-I know I'm not the best person to be telling you this, but you shouldn't say things like that about yourself. I...I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Then you would never feel that way again!"

You look into his eyes and give a small, sad smile.

"Levi, that's what I've been trying to get you to see as well. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you...."

There's a bit of an awkward silence in the room, until he speaks up again.

"Can we make a deal? I-if we both want the other to stop self-deprecating...let's just not do it for each other? And if we start to have those thoughts again, we tell the other person so they, um, can remind us how much they mean to the other?"

His face is bright red, but that same determination is in his eyes, mixed with a bit of desperation.

"....ok. I'll try."

Ok hope y'all liked it.

If you're 18 or over and like smut, come visit me @switch-bitch-diaries

Masterlist

[kanmom51]

I can't believe people are still making jungkook out to be the bad guy in his relationship with jimin, platonic or otherwise. It's clear jungkook doesn't like when he isn't in charge of certain situations especially when he's infront of a crowd or a camera. He doesn't like unpredictability. That's why he seems comfortable starting stuff but a bit shifty when people start with him and he wasn't expecting it.

You're spot on about these complaining anons being people who haven't dealt with anxiety. I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and let me tell you, I psychoanalyze every single thing. I was at college one day and had to use the bathroom that I could see right infront of me but couldn't get up to walk towards it because a lot of people were around me and I was scared I would trip or my clothes would fold weird or I would walk funny and people would laugh. It makes absolutely no sense but that's what goes through the mind of a person with anxiety and you just freeze. I sat there for hours needing to go so bad and couldn't.

I also completely froze one time while walking with a friend because a car drove up beside us and asked for directions to a building on campus. My brain literally shut off because I wasn't expecting the interaction. I knew where the place was and I just couldn't think.

Y'all need to leave jungkook alone. Just like you said kanmom, jimin is getting just what he needs. He literally just talked about evaluating friendships and giving more that he was getting.

If jungkook was a part of that equation wouldn't we see jimin pulling back??? Even if they are just friends, Jimin could scale back his interactions with jungkook and a lot of people would be none the wiser.

Stop making it seem like jimin doesn't know his worth or jungkook is this evil bad friend or partner. That's taekooker shit. When did it become a common talking point over here to make jungkook the big bad wolf to jimin's little red??? Jeez

All of this.

You made me tear up. Your experiences, they hit home. I also see my daughters, all three, deal with this daily, each in their own way.

Shyness, anxiety, the fear of what people will think about you, the fear of failure, the fear of being judged. All those. They weigh on you and they paralyze you.

And dealing with all of those, even within a group of friends, not to mention with strangers, many times I found it hard to speak up, I felt I wasn't being heard.

I've been there. I was strong enough to make a conscious decision to try and change.

At 18, so shy I couldn't speak a word, not a word, with strangers (ordering food, shopping was hell for me), I left home knowing that I have to get out from under my moms wings, if I am independent I don't have any choice but to manage by myself.

Then at 26 choosing my line of work, knowing I would have to stand up in court day in day out, talk to a judge, in front of an audience, it freaked me out, but I did it. At first it was excruciatingly hard. My fear of public speaking, fear of making a fool of myself, being judged, not being perfect, although those around me were far than perfect, but you hold yourself to higher standards.

But I went to court knowing every single word in the case file, and knowledge is power. Practicing what I will say, having conversations in my head, what I'll be asked, what I can reply. Because being unprepared, I knew I would freeze. And with all of that, there were moments I froze. But going prepared gave me more confidence, and with time experience gave me even more confidence. And with all that confidence, that persona I created outward, inside many times I would still be shaky and insecure.

I see all of this in JK. The hours of practice, including when on tour. Practice makes perfect.

I am a different person now. More confident. Still a bit shy, but able to connect with others. Still have all those insecurities, the anxiety is still there, but know better how to deal with it all. It's not something that ever really goes away, you just learn how to manage it better.

I feel I might be oversharing a bit here, but idk, it feels right to talk about it. It's you @thiskindofthing , you made me do it, lol.

Be strong, be confident, I know it's a daily struggle but you can do it.

[kareniliana]

Marcel: Crazy Ex Drama

A//N: Hey people! I’ve come up with a schedule. I will write as much as I can over the week. In between class work or classes and tutor sessions. Then edit and post them on the weekends. Imma try this week to do that. And we’ll go from there.

If y'all want to request anything, my inbox is open.

Oh I almost forgot, this one shot mentions abusive relations with drug using and cheating. I am in no way trying to romanticize abuse or anything. I just started writing and this came out. I do apologize if I insult anyone, please call me out on it. And I will correct it or take it down. I truly mean no harm here.

xx Karebear 💛🧸

You were visiting New Orleans for a girls trip with two of your best friends, Eva and Lucy. You went college with them, lived with them when you first graduated and now you live hours away from each other. Not seeing each other often put a strain on your friendship so you came up with the brilliant idea that you would visit New Orleans for a girls trip. It’s perfect, you’ll drink your liver away.

The first two nights visiting were a blur, you weren’t sure which bars you were at and which you hadn’t visited yet. But for the third day, you were going to keep it low-key but fun.

At lunch, you and your friends sat at a bar talking to a nice blonde bartender. She informed you she had a psych degree and your friends didn’t stop bothering her until y'all left. But she enjoyed the company and psychoanalyzing. You however was busy making eyes with a beautiful chocolate man across the restaurant. His smile caught your eyes, it was genuine and brightening. 

Finally she turned to look at you, “what about you? Any guy problems?”

“Oh does she ever, she just got out of a very abusive relationship.” Your drunk friend started, earning a deep sigh from you. 

“He cheated, lied, did drugs, verbally abuse me and sometimes he would hit me. I left him, filed a restraining order- I got out.” You shrugged your shoulders, not wanting to talk about it any longer.

You stuck around to drink and chill, the vibe in this bar was immaculate. You had forced yourself, to stop looking for the man. Wanting him to come to your, which he did. He placed his hand on the seat next to yours.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked, his deep voice made you want to melt.

“No, go for it.” You smiled, he pulled the seat out sitting with you.

“Cami, can I get another and,” He looked to you, “Anything she wants.”

 You caught his gaze, holding eye contact. “Uh, I'll have what he's having.”

“Alright, two bourbons.” She grabs another glass and serves you the liquid. Your friends and cami seeing what’s happening.

“I’m Marcel.” He handed his hand out for you to shake, you smiled gently placing your hand in his.

“Y/n, it’s nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine, and on behalf of my beautiful city, welcome to New Orleans. I am more than happy to show you around. Say tonight, at 7. I can meet you or pick you up, whatever you choose.” He was smooth.

Cami placed the cups down in front of you both,“You can pick me up at the Hotel just down the street.” You pointed down the road to your hotel, the only hotel within a mile radius.

“Alright.” He smiled brightly, his smile making you almost giggle like a school girl.

He lifted his drink, signally for you to follow suit. He raised his glass, waiting for you. You clashed your drinks together, taking a sip.

“Tell me, why New Orleans?”Marcel asked as you both set the drinks down.

“Oh well, I hadn’t seen my best friends, Eva and Lucy,” You motioned to the girls,”In maybe 8 months. We had spent nearly five years living together.”

Eva leaned over, “Now we’re all hours away from each other, we don’t get much time to visit.”

“It’s mandatory for us to go on a girls trip at least every month.” You added, taking another sip, knowing Lucy will butt in next. Marcel just watching the vibe between you three, he thought it looked like the human way of a family. Which you were, Eva and Lucy are your family.

“But someone” Lucy points to you behind your head, “got into a - Okay! I think that’s enough from you two.” You interrupted her, you were okay talking to women about your abusive relationship, but when it came to telling men- let alone someone you just met and are interested in- you weren’t comfortable yet. And you didn’t want your friend to unload that kind of baggage. 

However, Marcel already knows. You have no knowledge of the supernaturals in the world, you didn’t know that Marcel already heard you talk about it. He heard your heartbeat rise when Lucy began to talk about it. You were nervous, which he understood. And he couldn’t help but want you more. He wanted to protect you.

“Okay fine, we’ll just see you back at the hotel later. We’re gonna go find something to do.” Eva gathered herself and Lucy, who seemed to be pretty drunk already. 

Saying their goodbyes and your focus was back to the present.

Marcel placed his hand on yours, You looked to him. “Whatever Lucy was going on about, I don’t want you to worry about it. Whatever it is, you can tell me or not. I understand.” 

You smiled, you could see it in his face. You knew he knew.“Thank you, but something tells me you already know?”

He sighed, “I’m only guessing it wasn’t something good.”

“He was abusive, a cheater, and an addict. I thought I could change him, help him. He was good, until he wasn’t. But I did all the steps. I documented, went to friends and police. I got a restraining order, I moved, got a new job, a place all by myself. I’m doing better now, that’s what is important.” You explained, feeling accomplished and grateful you were able to get out. 

You were proud of yourself and made progress moving on from everything.

Behind you, in a corner, a vampire calls Marcel away. Marcel signally to give him a minute.

“I’m proud of you, Y/n. Thats good! How about another drink?” You nodded, as he signaled for Cami.

“I’m sorry but will you excuse me for a second, I’m just gonna go to the bathroom for a quick second. Don’t go anywhere just yet, okay?” He asked, getting up his seat.

“Oh yeah no, go for it.” You smiled and his hand brushed your shoulder.

Cami comes back with your refill, “Im sorry I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I’m really happy you’re in a good place right now.”

“Oh no it’s okay, you basically already knew. Minor details. Thank you.”

“Y’know Marcel is a really great guy,” She began to make a drink for someone across the bar. “He looks out for the tourists and locals, keeps them safe.”

“So this city, is his or?” Cami laughs, if only you knew.

“He’s very influential here, stick with him. You’ll be safe.” Cami walks off, serving the drink she just made.

You look at the menu for desserts, sipping your bourbon. Then Marcel comes back, sitting down without a word.

“Is the pie any good Marcel-” You turn to look to Marcel but see Jason instead. Instantly you sprung up to your feet, pushing your stool back. Jason reached out for your arm, squeezing it harder than he thought he would.

The sound of the stool being pushed caught Cami’s attention, watching from the end of the bar. Seeing the disgust for him on your face, your body language stiff but grounded and unwavering.

Just as she was about to go to you, Marcel walked back in from the back. Vampire drama dealt with. “Cami, what’s up?”

“I think that's her ex.” Cami’s eyes never leaving you.

Jason grabbed you, keeping you there.”Wait, please just hear me out.”

You looked at his hand squeezing you, it began to hurt. “Let. Me. Go.” Looking back up at him, his eyes red teary. He was high.

He scoffed, “No, just hear me out.”

“I have a restraining order dude! Let me go!” You raised your voice, catching Marcels attention. Swiftly he walked to you two.

“I do believe she told you to let her go.” Marcel intervened, one hand placed gently on your back.

“This doesn’t concern you!” He belted at Marcel, digging his fingers deeper. you helped in pain. Marcel took a hold of Jasons hand, squeezing it with his vampire strength. Jasons claws unlatched from you, it will definitely bruise.

“I called the cops, Marcel.” Cami came to you with an ice pack.

Marcel then tried to escort Jason outside but Jason began to fight back. Falling back and into other people on the way out. When finally Marcel sucker punched him, knocking hims unconscious.

After the police took my statement and pictures of the already bruised arm, they arrested him and took him to county jail.

Marcel sits in the seat the officer was in, placing two cups of bourbon. “I called your friends, they should be here any minute. I’m so sorry that happened. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m good. Thank you. Really.” You smiled, chuckling after a moment of silence. “We just met and we had a crazy ex boyfriend situation before our first date!”

Marcel laughed with you. He smiled at you brightly, somehow making you smile just as big. You reach for his hand, holding it.

“I still expect yo take you out, no crazy ex drama will get in the way of our date.” Marcel said, earning a laugh from you.

~~

Again I mean no harm with this imagine.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Doppelganger" *Part 23*

WHOO, y'all. I don't know what it is about this story but I am just...rolling it all out with the tragic backstory. No angst, I promise-- It ends happy chill out. But damn. Maybe I'm working out my own issues in here...lulz.

This gif will make so much sense you have no idea.

PART 22

Part 24

Tag List

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@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

------

“....And how did that make you feel?”

You tried not to laugh out loud as the question left Dr. Crestview’s mouth. Did she really just ask you that?

“...I mean it makes me ‘feel’ bad,” You rolled your eyes with a laugh while looking out the window. When you turned back to the doctor she was not laughing, and she was writing something down.

“...That was a joke,” You clarified.

“Oh yes, I get it,” She nodded as she continued writing.

“Do you?” You asked her frankly. The question caused her to stop writing and look at you.

“Mrs. Barba--”

“Ms. YLN,” You corrected. “I’m not married yet,”

“...Hmm, interesting,” She wrote something down. Seriously? She even had an insight on what-- technicalities?

“I’m sorry, was that some sort of test?” You asked sarcastically.

“Actually, it was,” She said to your surprise.

“Excuse me?” You looked at her, baffled.

“You know when most women get engaged, they start imagining their last names as their husbands. You know such as changing their signature, gathering documents, and the like,”

“...Are you serious?” You laughed again. “This is 2021 lady, half the women I know didn’t even take their husband’s last name at all,”

“And is that what you’re going to do?” She asked. “Keep your last name?”

“...If I say yes are you going to psychoanalyze that too?” You crossed your arms.

“In my experience Ms. Y/L/N, women who don’t want to change their last names tend to do so because they want to keep their independence, their…’identity’. They think taking a man’s last name is ‘giving up’ something. Giving up their identity,” She explained.

“...And?” You gestured with your hand as if waiting for her to continue.

“And in my educated opinion, it also signifies a woman going into a marriage with one foot out of the door already,” She simply stated.

“Wow,” You shook your head with a sarcastic laugh. “Did I come here to resolve my trauma, or for marriage advice?”

“I think they’re one and the same, Ms. Y/L/N,” She stayed completely calm and emotionless.

“Are they?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Given what you’ve told me in our last few sessions, you’ve given off a tone that you don’t think you deserve good things. Maybe you’re keeping on foot out of your relationship so that when it falls apart, you’ll be ready,”

“Wow....wow,” You started to stand up and storm out of the office, but she stopped you with a question.

“I’m sorry if I offended you with my observation Y/N, but be honest. Am I wrong?”

You thought about all the talks you had with Rafael about ‘not being good enough’ for him, or ‘stealing his love’. And on the one hand you felt that you were ‘connected’, you felt safe and secure. After everything you’d been through, it was almost impossible not to be, right? Right?

“....And what is your magic solution to this feeling, doctor?” You crossed your arms.

“You need to forgive yourself,”

“...Jesus Christ,” You rolled your eyes with another laugh as you paced the room. “Really? That’s your solution? Telling me something I already know?”

“No, my solution is this: You need to apologize to your parents,”

“EXCUSE ME?” You practically screamed.

“You blame yourself for their death, correct? You think that because of their desire to make you happy they risked their lives driving into the city and therefore got into their accident,” She looked over her notes from past sessions with you.

“...Right,” You looked down at the floor.

“And I don’t think that you have ever forgiven yourself for that. And in not doing so, you haven’t forgiven yourself for anything you’ve done since then. All these things you say you’ve ‘done’ to Mr. Barba that you should be ‘punished’ for-- he doesn’t see it that way. Other people don’t see it that way. Your parents' accident wasn’t your own doing, getting kidnapped wasn’t your fault. I think that you need to find closure with your parent’s death before you can even begin to ‘forgive’ yourself for whatever transpired between you and Nevada Ramirez,”

“....So you want me to apologize to my parents? How are they going to ‘forgive’ me?” You asked her.

“I think you’ll find Ms. Y/L/N that just the act of apologizing will bring about its own form of forgiveness,” She smiled.

“.....Right…” You tried not to sound condescending, but for a shrink she sure sounded crazy.

“Or don’t listen to me, I can’t force you to do anything. But that is my advice,” She shrugged.

“Noted. Thank you, doctor,” You nodded and walked out the door.

----

You walked out into the streets of the city from your doctor’s office and thinking about just how or when you’d have a chance to go to your hometown where your parents were, when you were stopped by a young girl on the street.

“Oh my god...you’re Y/N!” She gasped.

“...Yes?” You stared at her blankly.

“You’re that girl who killed Nevada Ramirez!” She squealed, causing a few people to stare and take pictures of you as they walked past.

“Oh good lord…” You muttered nervously. “Yeah well um--”

“Can I get a selfie with you?”

“Um--” You looked around, not sure of what to do. You wanted to run down the street screaming, but you thought better of it. You turned back to her with the fakest smile you could form.

“Sure!” You threw an arm around her and smiled as big as you could as she snapped a selfie with her phone.

“Thanks!” She beamed at you. “ And by the way, your fiancé is REALLY sexy,”

“Oh girl I know,” You faked a laugh and a toss of your hair as she walked away with a laugh.

It really creeped you out that girls were ‘fangirling’ over your fiancé. As if you weren’t worried about keeping a hold of him all on your own. Also how did she even know what he looked like?

The article.

You grabbed your phone and did something you told yourself you’d never do: You googled yourself.

The first thing that popped up was an article on the NYTimes.com front page:

“Fairy Tale Romance Or Horror Movie?”

...What the fuck?

The article contained your video as the main focus. Then under it the article basically dictated the video, with Tasha’s opinions thrown in here and there. Then most of the photos from the photoshoot of you and Rafael were at the bottom of the page. They were gorgeous, you had to admit. Granted you were both airbrushed to hell, but Rafael in a suit drove you nuts. Even if it was just on a screen. You dialed his number as you continued walking down the street.

“....Hola, mi amor. How is my pinguino feeling?”

“Well she’s currently feeling like she’s got the sexiest man in New York City,” You grinned.

“Oh really? And why’s that?” He asked you curiously.

“Check out the picture I’m texting you,” You grinned as you texted him one of the photos from the spread.

“Oh Christ…” You heard him mutter through the phone, causing you to giggle.

“Oh yes, you even have your own fangirls now,” You rolled your eyes with a smile.

“No I do NOT,” He argued in disbelief.

“Yeah I’d be careful leaving your office there counselor, a group of tweens might be waiting outside,”

“Oh my god...they’re breaching the doors!” He acted terrified, making you laugh harder.

“Oh I think I see one,” You whispered as if you were sneaking up on someone. “She’s holding a ‘Barba 4Eva’ poster board,”

“You better be kidding,” He warned.

“No, in fact I think she’s right outside your door,” You bit your tongue with a smile.

“Oh well I’d better call security then,” He chuckled as he sauntered over to his office door and swung it open.

“Oh my Gooodddddddd it’s Rafael Barba!!! The sexiest ADA in New York City!!” You giggled wildly, jumping into his arms like a crazed fan.

“I should definitely look into some armed guards at my door,” He laughed as he pulled you into his arms and kissed you.

“Oh most definitely, wouldn’t want to let the crazies in,” You nodded as you kissed him again.

“Well I think it’s too late for that…” He teased you while tousling your hair.

“Shut up,” You playfully hit his hands away.

“Speaking of crazy, how was therapy today mi amor?” He asked cheekily.

Wowwwww, sexy AND sensitive, how did I get so lucky?” You rolled your eyes. “Actually, she gave me homework,”

“Did she?” He inquired.

“Yes,” You suddenly got very serious. “She um, she told me I need to go see my parents,”

“...Your parents?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, something about needing to ‘apologize’ to them or some weird shrink thing like that,”

“....Do you think it will help?”

“I mean...” You sighed and looked out the window. “I don’t know. But I’d like to try,”

“Bueno,” He nodded walking closer to you and kissing the top of your head. “So are you going to go now or--?”

“Well I was kind of hoping you’d come with me,” You bit your lip. You didn’t know if asking him to come along on your shrink homework assignment was allowed, but you knew you couldn’t do this alone. Maybe that was the point.

“Really?”

“I mean, I met your family,” You half laughed, trying to make light.

“Right,” He nodded his head with a chuckle. “Well then, let’s go,”

“...Now?”

“Why not?” He started to walk towards the door.

“Don’t you have a job?” You pointed to his desk.

“Oh they just like to pay me to sit in here so nobody robs the place,” He joked as he grabbed his coat. “I have nothing going on today baby, they won’t miss me.”

“Okay then,” You shrugged uneasily. “Guess we’re going to Jersey,”

----------------

After a train ride and a taxi later, you arrived in your small town of Shallow Meadow.

“Christ Almighty, I knew Jersey was in the dark ages, but not even having Uber??” Rafael grumbled. He hadn’t been in the back of a dirty cab in such a long time, and now he remembered why.

“Alright Daddy Warbucks, chill,” You laughed as you started walking with him through town.

It was a quaint little town; one stop light, one grocery store, two bars, something out of an old movie really You know the movies where the car breaks down in the tiny shitty town and all the townspeople are flesh eating zombies or something. The people of Shallow Meadow were pretty much like that. Well, to you anyway.

“So why didn’t we just have the Mayberry Express drop us at the cemetery?”

“...Because we don’t have roads you can drive on up there,” You answered with a nervous smile.

“...Right,” He shook his head as he noticed people coming out of shops to stare at the two of you. “...Do I have some kind of weird sign on my back that says NEW YORKER or what?”

“No, but that thousand dollar suit screams “moneybags” out here,” You smirked. “Besides, they’re not staring at you they’re staring at me,”

“...What? How do you know that?”

As if it was answering his question, a girl with bright red hair dressed in farm clothing and holding a baby on her hip came sauntering up to the two of you.

“Well lookie here,” She smirked. “Miss Prissy Pants brought back herself a Prissy Papa,”

“Excuse you?” Rafael was taken aback by such rudeness by such a poorly dressed person.

“Marla back off,” You scowled at her. “Just because you’re upset I found treasure and you’re stuck with trash--”

“OH, is that what we are now? Trash?” Marla spat. “You have a lot of nerve coming back here and saying that, murderer,”

“WHOA,” Rafael stepped in front of you. “I’m sorry, what-- what did you just call her?”

“Did she not tell you the story? Oh no wait I bet she did, her version. The version where she’s the victim and we’re all just the villains. Isn’t that right, Prissy?” She glared at you.

“...I never said you were--” You tried defending yourself.

“Really?” She scoffed. “Then why did you not even bother to show up to your folks’ funeral? Their ONLY daughter, the ones they DIED for. Couldn’t even be bothered to leave her high rise in the city to pay respects to the parents she KILLED,”

“It wasn’t like that and you KNOW it, Marla! And why was I going to come back? The only two people left in this town that tolerated me were gone--” You got up in her face.

“AND WHY IS THAT, Y/N?” She got back in yours, her baby almost falling out of her arms.

“Alright lady I don’t know who you are, but you’re going to back the hell off my fiancée--”

“Oh good God, your fiancé?” Marla laughed. “You would find yourself a sugar daddy, since you killed yours,”

“Alright you know what we’re leaving--” You grabbed Rafael’s hand and stomped away towards a huge hill that had a sign reading “CEMETERY” at the top.

“I hope you’re heading up there to beg their forgiveness Y/N, ‘cuz you sure as hell ain’t getting any down here!” Marla yelled angrily after you.

--------------

“...Well I think we just figured out where your forgiveness issues came from,” Rafael tried making light of the situation.

“Ya think?” You nodded.

“This whole time,” Rafael shook his head. “This whole time I thought you just had it in your mind that you were responsible for their death. But-- but you had an entire town telling you that,”

“...Yeah,” You shrugged.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything, baby?” Rafael took your hand as the hill got steeper.

“Because I thought they were right, Rafael!” You said in a ‘duh’ tone. “Why would I tell you that an entire town thought that I was a murderer? That’s not really a selling point on a partner,”

“...You thought they were right?”

“...Well, yeah,” You nodded softly with a small smile.

“And now…?”

Before you could answer, you reached the entrance of the cemetery. Luckily it wasn’t that big; you were ashamed to admit you didn’t even know where they were buried. But you found them in a small corner under a shade tree. You walked up to their mutual headstone:

“Y/M/N AND Y/D/N: Beloved Husband And Wife, Mayor and First Lady.”

“...Mayor?” Rafael looked at you in surprise.

“Yeah, well--” You shrugged. “You see why they were so beloved, and I was the hellish daughter that killed them?”

“Y/N…” Rafael put a hand on your shoulder.

“I was supposed to want to ‘take over the city’, like I would ever want to be in charge of anything in this stupid backwards hick ass town,” You scoffed angrily, tears stinging your eyes.

“...But didn’t you say that your parents wanted you to go to Juliard? Pursue your dreams?” Rafael asked in confusion.

“They did! My grandparents-- they had a different view,” You shook your head. “The...the hierarchy here it’s-- well it’s not really a democracy,”

“...How so…?” Rafael raised an eyebrow.

“Because everyone just loved and accepted my family as, I don’t know, the ‘royal’ family?” You felt so stupid comparing your family to the Royal Family, but you didn’t know how else to explain it.

“The Mayor and First Lady titles were just...passed down, in my family. And not because they were dictators or something,” You quickly added the last part, you didn’t want Rafael to think any less of your family than he probably already did.

“People here are just...simple,” You sighed. “They accept things the way they are, they hate change. So it was just assumed that my family would always be... "the family’,”

“But you didn’t want that,” Rafael said again.

“Of course I didn’t want that!” You scoffed. “I didn’t want to just get a high school degree and then marry some ‘Cletus’ redneck man from here and have ‘heirs’ just to keep the family going!”

“But your parents understood that,” Rafael reiterated.

“It didn’t matter what my parents did or didn’t understand. My grandfather had more clout with the townspeople here,” You rolled your eyes. “My dad was the ‘mayor’, but his dad controlled everything. His father had been the mayor for over thirty years before he passed it onto my dad, who didn’t really want it either” You walked up to the headstone and ran your fingers over your father’s name.

“....So when he tried to ‘save’ me from that life, my grandpa wouldn’t hear it. He blamed me for...for manipulating them into giving me anything I wanted, like I was a spoiled little child. He blamed me for them giving me their life savings to go to Julliard instead of putting it back into the town treasury. Then he blamed me when they got killed, and he just reinstated himself as mayor! Which, I haven’t checked but I’ll be damned if he isn’t still rattling around his old ass bones in our house! He’ll just haunt this place forever!” You threw your hands up and looked down angrily at the town down below.

“Carino…” Rafael came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. You took his hands in yours and kissed them before turning to face him. You looked into his sparkling green understanding eyes for a moment, before directing your attention back at the headstone.

“....This is Rafael Barba, mama and daddy,” You pulled him gently forward. “We’re getting married soon,”

“...Nice to meet you folks,” Rafael said awkwardly.

“...Raffi they’re dead,” You smiled jokingly.

“Right, right,” He shook his head with a small laugh.

“...He’s a very good man, daddy. I know you always wanted that. And he’s very handsome, so you’ll have beautiful grandchildren mama, just like you wanted,” You smiled while Rafael softly chuckled.

“...I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come,” You finally said with tears rolling down your cheeks. “I should have been here sooner,”

“But you’re here now,” Rafael softly rubbed your back.

“Yeah…” You nodded softly. This was the hard part.

“...I’m---I’m sorry, that I made you feel like horrible parents that night,” You tried not to cry, but the memories of that night flooded your memory the more you spoke.

“I’m sorry that you thought you needed to come see me, that you weren’t good parents if you didn’t,” Your lip trembled, you fell to your knees.

“...I’m sorry the last words you heard from me were ‘I hate you’,” You finally broke down sobbing.

“Y/N…” Rafael knelt down next to you and held you in his arms as you cried.

“Do you get now why...why I don’t think I deserve you? Why don't I think I deserve anything? Why I think I have to take everything? Fake everything? Because I am such a terrible person my own parents died thinking I hated them because I was that horrible to them!”

“They didn’t think you hated them, carino,” Rafael rocked you back and forth. “They knew you loved them, I know they did,”

“You know you’re probably right, Rafael. But it--I needed them to hear it,” You nodded at the gravestone.

“And?”

“...And I feel a lot better,” You smiled as Rafael wiped tears from your face.

“Really?”

“Yeah…Really,” You chuckled. “I guess that therapist really knows what she’s doing,”

“She should for the amount of money I pay her,” Rafael shook his head with a laugh as he helped you stand up.

“...Thank you for doing this with me, amor,” You sniffled, pressing your forehead against his.

“Of course, penguino,” He kissed you softly. “And, for what it’s worth--” He added as you two walked back down the hill towards town.

“I think that if your parents were alive, they would be proud of you,”

“Oh, I know my mother would take one look at you and be DAMN proud,” You both laughed at that.

“And I also think they would be appalled to see how their townspeople treat their daughter,” He glared at the town.

“Yeah well,” You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Not anymore,”

“I’m glad to hear it,” He took your hands as the sun started to go down in your sleepy little town. “Now can we please get back to the city before I catch something out here?”

“Yes,” You giggled, staring at him lovingly.

“Let’s go home,”

[uno-writing]

AHHHHHHH this is unrelated to uno but my friend and I dared eachother to read something thatd make us cry, and I made her read the boxer and I'm on the floor sobbing over gourmet hound 😭😭 neither of us have done any work for like two days we're just binge reading

This is like, exactly how I felt when I was reading uno, but to a less extreme degree. Any of y'all felt uno legit messing with you mentally? Like actually I should've taken a break while reading it but I just read it continuously over thee days straight and was mentally and emotionally exhausted for a week after lol. I always stop rereading when the joker arc starts up bc I honestly can't handle it 😅

ik people call uno cheesy and it is, but what I felt while reading it was so intense. Ive felt that way over a precious few pieces of media. And it's so strange. I can't find a pattern at all. It isn't very well written, and the storyline is vaugely problematic, and tbh I've seen better world building, but I still love it. Same for other media I've loved, I can admit that I've read better, but I still, for some reason, resonated with these totally random (?) ones the most

If anyone's slightly curious the other works I've loved as much as uno (I call these things soul art make fun of me) are eleceed by jeho son and ZHENA (available on webtoon), the poppy war by R F kuang, his dark materials by Philip Pullman, and the Percy Jackson series and the heroes of Olympus series by Rick Riordan (pls don't pick on me lol). Ofc there's been stuff that's sent me into various states of existencial crisis but the characters from these works have literally always stayed with me

And Ik no one can psyco analyze me with these bc there's no way someone here has read them all mwahahaha *knocks on wood*

This was nothing really just a random baring of the soul to people who might relate 🥴

- Boba anon 🧋

Oh my god the mortifying ordeal of being known what have i done this is too personal ahhhh I'm to emotional rn I'm deff gon regret this later

UnO definitely delves into many serious topics. Like thinking back about the comic and everything that’s happened is definitely intense.🍿🥤🍭🍬🍫🧋🥨🥬🍦🍧🧊🐇🍩🥖📦🌻

I also gotta say that UnO has been one of my longest lasting passions (idk if that’s the right word lmao). I first started reading it around the time John’s ability was first revealed (i gotta admit, that was the only time of my reading uno that I’ve come close to being a jimp lmao) then I put it down for about a year and I came back and that kept happening to this point. Like most stuff that I completely put down I don’t pick up again. I could probably count on one hand the content that I’ve put down and picked up with the same passion.

I love UnO so much. Like I think that’s part of the reason I have so many criticisms about it just bc it has so much potential bc it’s already amazing with all of its flaws. I don’t think I’ve consumed a piece of media that I’d consider ‘flawless’, but UnO is sooooo close to being perfect in my opinion. The criticisms I do have are things that would be so easily fixed.

And dude, you’ve already issued the challenge. The psychiatrist anons are gonna flock to you now. You did not learn from my mistake lmao It's like self fulfilling prophecy now. You're going to get psychoanalyzed

Now they're not gonna do it bc I said this with such confidence lmao