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dustofbrokenheart · 4 years ago

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The Covenant: Gains

Poly Sons of Ipswich x Reader

Word Count: 2,802

Summary: Trying to take advantage of their gym membership, reader starts working with a devastatingly attractive personal trainer. And his friend is pretty hot, too.

The gym was still new for you but you had been coming consistently enough that you felt comfortable there. You knew what times equipment would be available and what times the crowds would be too much (week days 3-5:30 was like competing in the Hunger Games.)

Cardio always came before strength exercises because your muscles would be too fatigued otherwise.

And on Tuesdays and Saturdays they played your favorite music on the loud speakers so you didn’t have to bother with headphones on those days.

Still, you weren’t an expert by any means.

In fact, you were still hesitant to call yourself a gym-goer because you’d seen the workouts other people did and you definitely weren’t doing that. There was no strategy, you just did what you felt like doing on any given day. You were impressed by their discipline though.

Maybe, most likely, it would benefit you to incorporate some of that into your own routine.

The gym had a personal trainer program and you figured that would be the best bet—much easier than trying to figure it out on your own.

Poking around the website, you found the section that explained the process. The design was modern and intuitive, and it was easy to book an appointment: the only information you needed to provide was your name, the date/time, and what trainer you wanted.

The first two things were easy to fill out but the last had you a little stumped; you weren’t familiar enough with any of the trainers to request anyone by name even with the drop-down menu that listed out all of the choices. For a second, you were tempted to forget about the whole thing but luckily, there was an option for ‘no preference’ and anxiety levels dropped off as you selected it.

Appointment booked, you went on with the rest of your night, focus shifting to what sounded good to eat for dinner.

A week later, you found yourself in the gym’s front lobby, arms crossed and foot tapping. Since it was the first time, there was no harm in arriving early. The directions on the website had said to wait there for the trainer but so far there was no sign of them. Granted, there was still five minutes until the scheduled start so it would be unfair to start complaining about them just yet.

Rolling your neck to alleviate some of the tension, you paused mid-stretch, neck awkwardly craned like a gaggling turkey, when a man walked out. He was without a doubt the most attractive man you’d seen at the gym to date.

Thick dark hair that curled just above his ears. Warm brown eyes and an even warmer smile. Tanned skin that wrapped around arms that had just the right amount muscle: toned but not bulky. All in all, a good looking man.

You tracked him as he glanced around the area, looking for something—his eyes suddenly met yours and you straightened up in embarrassment—or someone. “Y/N?” he questioned.

You throat was so dry, it was painful to swallow. “That’s me.”

It didn’t seem possible but his smile grew even brighter. He stuck his hand out. “Nice to meet you. I’m Caleb and I’ll be your trainer today.”

Good karma most certainly at work here. How else could you explain being lucky enough to have the hottest guy in the gym be the trainer? Whatever the case, you weren’t going to look this particular gift horse in the mouth.

He gestured you forward with a wave of his hand and followed you to the main workout area. There was slight pressure to staying cool and collected with him behind you.

“I’m going to start you off with some jogging to warm-up. Do you want to use the track or hop on a treadmill?”

“Treadmill is fine. It’s what I normally use.”

You stepped up onto the belt and fiddled with the settings to establish a pace you felt comfortable with. The machine started up with a loud hum and your arms and legs began to pump. Normally, you’d have your earphones in to distract yourself with music but they weren’t that day so that you could hear Caleb if he said anything to you.

Good thinking, really, since he did indeed start chatting.

“So how long have you been a member?” he asked.

Determined not to sound steady, you took a few moments to normalize your breathing. “About two months. But this is the first time I’ve worked with a professional,” you added at the end.

It was hard to hear his laugh over the treadmill but the hitching of his shoulders gave him away. “Thanks, but I’m not really a professional. I just have a training certification is all.”

Huh. Attractive and humble. If you weren’t careful, you’d develop a full-blown crush in no time.

“A certification sounds professional to me,” you insisted. There. That wasn’t flirty at all. You were merely sharing an opinion.

Jogging passed by faster than it usually did even without music. Evidently, all that was needed to make a run enjoyable was good conversation and an even better view.

You powered off the treadmill and gradually transitioned to a walk and then a full stop. A single bead of sweat trailed down the side of your face but before you could wipe it away, only to stumble after being patted on the back by Caleb.

Those muscles were not just for show.

You had mixed feelings about him giving you props for completing the warm up. On one hand, you were a little insulted because even you could handle jogging for ten minutes. On the other, it was nice to have him flatter you. And he seemed to type to mean his compliments.

“Thanks,” you said almost like a question as you plopped down to stretch.

“Really,” he insisted. There wasn’t any level of patronizing tone that you could detect. “You’d be surprised by how many people I work with that complain about running.”

“Really?” you exclaimed with surprise. “I wouldn’t say I love running but it’s not terrible. Better than swimming anyway.”

“Whoa, now. I’ll have you know that I was a big swimmer in high school.”

The friendly banter about the woes, or in his case, the highs of swimming got you through the stretches he showed you. Occasionally, there would be a pause while he corrected your posture but once you fixed your position, the banter started up again.

Finally, you conceded, “I will admit that swimming did wonders for your shoulders though.”

He looked away with a bow of his head. He smiled but it was closed lipped, no teeth on display. Oops. That comment may have been a bit too forward. Rather than draw more attention to it, you diverted attention to the actual work out.

Seeming to be of the same mind, Caleb dropped it, too, and set you up at a weight bench. He must’ve have seen the doubt on your face.

“Don’t worry,” he assured. “I’m not going to have you squatting 300 pounds or anything crazy. Here. Take this and we’ll start with some dumb bell rows.”

He handed you a twenty-pound weight, the smooth metal cool against your palm. The weight was noticeable but not so heavy you struggled to hold it. A month or two of this and your arms would actually tone out pretty nice.

You peered subtly at Caleb behind you. You wouldn’t be at Caleb’s level, not just after a couple weeks but then again, you doubted most people could measure up to him even after working out everyday for a year straight.

Someone people had all the good genes.

You could’ve complained but found it much more enjoyable to appreciate the good view. In fact, it was the view that got you through the rest of the season.

“Thanks,” you panted around the mouth of your water bottle. A bead of sweat ran down your neck and you reached to wipe it off.

“You did great, really,” he said, the epitome of what a good trainer should sound like. “The scariest step is always to start so signing up for additional personal training will be a piece of cake.”

“Y-yeah.” Suddenly, your shoe laces fascinated you. “So…if I want to do that—more of this...do I choose you on from that list of trainers?”

“Sure thing. Or if you’d prefer to try someone else, all of the trainers are fantastic choices.”

“I think I’ll stick with you. As long as that’s not weird or anything…”

“Nope, not weird.”

You worked up the courage to look him in the eyes. Swirling irises of molten brown, you couldn’t help but be drawn into them. “Same time next week then?”

“Same time next week,” he agreed with a nod.

***

It had been a little over a month since you had started working with Caleb at the gym and what had started as one personal training session a week had turned into two, sometimes three. Improvement was happening steadily and you definitely felt a difference in your stamina.

Strangely enough, you were even proud of the small callouses that were starting to develop on the tops of your palms, under the fingers. They weren’t classically beautiful but at least you had proof of the work you were doing.

Having worked up the confidence, you’d also started doing some of the exercises Caleb showed you on your own. It was on one such day that you met him.

Another gym babe.

The first thing you noticed was his ass. Literally. He was in prime squat position and his short, though knee length and loose as they may be, could not hide his toned glutes.

You were embarrassed to admit that you were totally ogling him, like a dog looked at a prime cut of meat. You didn’t get star struck often, but damn.

The universe must have sought to punish you for the lack of propriety and your mp3 slipped through your sweaty fingers onto the moving treadmill, yanking the earphones out of your ears along with it as it flew backwards on the conveyor belt.

Recovering from the stumble your mp3 caused, you turned off the machine and gingerly picked out the music player, preparing for the worst.

Miraculously, the screen was still in tact and sounds was still coming through the earphones. You took another sigh of relief when you realized he was preoccupied by his own workout and hadn’t seen your embarrassing moment.

Something similar happened the next time you saw him a few days later: he was cooling down after having thoroughly trounced the heavy bag in the small boxing set-up the gym had. His arms looked so good in his cut-off tank (muscles and veins were all on display) that you froze with your mouth hanging wide open.

Another gym-goer did catch you that time but at least it wasn’t the god sculpted from marble.

You almost felt bad, like you were cheating on one of your crush’s with another which was ridiculous because Caleb was just a trainer and you didn’t even know the other one’s name.

Who knew that so much drama could happen in the confines of a simple neighborhood gym? Seriously, The Bachelor wished it could have as many good options as the gym seemed to.

***

You huffed as you pushed yourself up on increasing shaky arms. For a few seconds, you honestly didn’t think you’d be able to do it as your arms got stuck at a forty-five degree angle. Digging deep down, you managed to fully extend your arms.

“Nine,” Caleb counted. He was kneeling besides you on the yoga mat, counting, and adjusting your form here and there, while you did push-ups

Rather than descend slowly as was proper for push-ups, you collapsed to the mat with your arms squished underneath your chest. Rolled your head, you gave him your best pleading eyes and hoped he might take mercy.

That hope was misplaced. He gave a sympathetic smile and shook his head negatively. “Sorry, Y/N. We agreed on ten and by my count, you still have one more to go.”

“Can I not and say that I did?”

“Come on now. It’s only one more.” He waved his hands around like he was waving imaginary pom-poms. “You can do it!”

You managed a weak laugh. There was no way you could’ve say no. Your arms felt like they were burning but he looked adorable trying to be a cheerleader. An unbidden image of him wearing a cute male cheerleading uniform flashed in your mind and you thought he would pull one off well, what with his wide shoulders and sculpted legs.

Imagination got you through the last push-up and you groaned as you turned over on the mat, spread out like a star fish. “That was absolute torture.”

Caleb opened his mouth but was interrupted by a newcomer.

“Geez, man. You need to take it easier on your clients.”

Recognizing the voice, you found the other gym guy you’d been eyeing standing above you.

“Pogue.” Caleb held his fist out to the man who in turned bumped his with the trainer’s. Evidently, they knew each other.

Then they embraced in a full-on hug.

Okay, so they definitely knew each other. And it was hard to miss the parting caress to Pogue’s shoulders—what kind of name was Pogue anyway?—that was generally reserved for two people that were close.

Were they related? Dating, perhaps?

Your imagination fired up again and you wondered what they would look like wrapped even more intimately with one another…which was entirely despicable, you reminded yourself. There was no proof they were romantically involved, and, even if they were, it was none of your business.

The other two, who had been talking while you were maladaptively fantasizing, had continued talking and their conversation now turned to you.

“So who’s this?” Pogue questioned politely.

“This is Y/N,” Caleb introduce you. “They’re one of the people I work with.”

Pogue stuck his hand out to shake. “Nice to meet you. I’m glad Caleb hasn’t killed you off yet.”

“Hey! I am extremely fair with workouts, aren’t I, Y/N?”

“He is,” you said with a small smile, rocking on your feet. “Besides, he way too nice to ever become a drill sergeant.”

Pogue shoved Caleb lightly and Caleb elbowed him in return. “I know he doesn’t look like the type, but he was quite the drill sergeant back when we were both swimmers. He just hides the competitive instinct under his charming smiles.”

That peaked your curiosity. “No way, you guys swam together back in the day?”

“Spencer Academy was state champs three years running in our time,” Caleb admitted. “But nowadays I do my thing with personal training and Pogue more into MMA.”

“MMA?” you questioned.

“Mixed Martial Arts,” Caleb supplied. “You’ve probably seen him hogging the punching bags in the back.”

You most certainly had but you weren’t about to confess that to either of them. It would be too embarrassing and might even toe the line of harassment.

“You are more than welcome to share bags with me, any time,” Pogue grinned teasingly.

A thought hit and flowed out of your mouth before you could stop it. “You guys should give me a lesson sometime.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you were interested in that sort of thing,” Caleb said, surprise coloring his voice.

“Are you saying that you don’t think I can?” You weren’t sure what made you say it. It’s not like you were hardcore dedicated to trying it.

Whatever the cause it had Pogue chiming in save the situation.

“What prince charming means is that we would love to give a demonstration sometime.”

Caleb down at his watch because of course he still wore one instead of just using his phone like most other people. “Damn. Our hour is up Y/n and I’m late getting my next client. But we can hit the punching bags next time, if you want��?”

“Sure. Uh. Does Wednesday work for you?”

Both of the men nodded and Caleb called over his shoulder as he jogged to the lobby. “It’s a date. Schedule it online and I’ll approve it.”

The word kept replaying over and over. Date. Date. Date, date, date. He probably didn’t even mean it like that but it didn’t stop your heart from fluttering.

Waving goodbye to Pogue wit a promise of seeing him next week, you bounced off to grab your phone from the locker room. There was nothing wrong with scheduling your next session ASAP.

It’s a date.

_______________

Pogue boxing does make a fetching image. Pogue and Caleb in the ring sparring together even more so. Debating whether to make a part 2.

Caleb always seems to be the hardest for me to write so I hope he sounded okay in this. This has been sitting in my drafts for a while and I decided to finally post it.

Thanks for reading!

#the covenant #caleb danvers #pogue parry #caleb danvers x reader #pogue parry x reader #the covenant imagines

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cafeinthemoon · 4 years ago

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The Home I Crave - Chapter XV

Chapter: 15/?

Wordcount: 2900

Title: Hand Signs

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: Tobirama Senju X reader

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14

Symbols: ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warning (s): none

N. A.: Yeah I think I owe you apologies for taking this long to post this chapter, but here it is, finally! I was feeling so upset and guilty for not writing as much as before, but it's simply because I haven't had time to sit down and work on my stories. These days have been rough 😣

You didn’t remember well how things happened after the man left your door. You only remembered seeing Tobirama turning to you and saying something, trying to raise his voice above the storm’s sounds, but it wouldn’t let you understand the exact words. You probably stood up and took the first clothes you could find, but you weren’t sure how; even less passable of an explanation was how your husband could find time to put his full armor before you two left the room, all your package except for the weapons being abandoned there as well as your hopes of having at least one pacific night before going back on your journey.

Somehow you reached the first floor, from where the people of the tea house were trying to leave as fast a possible. The ninjas you saw when you arrived at the place came to speak to you. They were in three.

You two turned to them and the one who seemed to be the leader of the group introduced himself:

- I am Yuuta from the Land of Wind– and turning aside to indicate his partners – These are my brothers, Yuji and Yoko. We understand that you two are shinobi like us. We’ve heard about the ditch and thought we could work together to help the people who live here.

There was no time to think about the strangeness of the situation or to have suspicions about the group. You felt a sort of regret for the bad impression you had of them at first, because they seemed to be honest people now that you paid close attention to them.

Apparently Tobirama had the same opinion, judging by his response when he spoke for you two.

- We are shinobi from the Leaf Village. I am Tobirama Senju and this is my wife, Y/n from the … clan. We are going to the village near this tea house to help the people there.

- I am used to work in rescuing missions and it would be of great help if some of you came with me – you completed.

Yoko, who was the only woman among them and seemed to be the youngest sibling, replied that she had experience in rescues too. You and the three ninjas had a quick conversation and it was decided that Yuuta and Yuji were going to help the people of the inn while you and Yoko were going to the village. However, when Yuuta asked Tobirama to stay at the inn with him and his brother, the Senju refused.

But it was the explanation given by him for such refusal that left everyone stunned.

- I will be more useful if I’d go with the women because I have a plan to stop the flood. However,I need to see the territory to make sure it will work.

The entire group stared at him in silence, but none of them dared laugh at him or question his attitude: it was clear that Tobirama was not joking, neither he was the type who needs to justify himself to others, even more if he just met them. That was not a man one wouldn’t take seriously. You yourself were caught in surprise, but you had the same reasons as the others to keep quiet as well.

In the end, Yuuta and the others nodded and the group was divided and you three were running toward the small village that was said to be near the tea house.

***

Now that you had some time to pay attention to your thoughts, you were running without talking, trying to process everything that was said during the conversation with the three shinobi of the Wind. So, Tobirama had a plan to help the villagers – perhaps a plan that started to take form when you were still in the inn’s room and your husband was talking to the man at your door – but whatever he wanted to do, it sounded absurd even to his standards. You started to think if all the Senju people were like him or if he was the one who differed from the rest of the clan.

Above these valid questions, an intrusive thought that you’ve been trying to suppress just took over your mind: you couldn’t forget the involuntary way in which you turned your head away from the group when you heard him introduce you as his wife. If that situation happened just a few days before you’d surely be irritated: he haven’t done anything that served as a proof that he acknowledged you as his spouse, so why would he call you his wife in front of those strangers? Well, after the things you’ve been through in that journey, it didn’t seem appropriate for you to just get angry. The truth was that you didn’t know how to feel about it.

If things stopped at this, you would be okay. Problem was that it didn’t: soon, you were remembering the dream you had just before the knocks on your door woke you up. The strangest part of it was that you weren’t sure of when exactly you fell asleep – was it before or after the… kiss? You firmly believed it was before. Just the diligent manner in which he left your side on the bed to answer the door showed that the kiss was not real. It couldn’t be.

But it felt so real. Almost as if you’ve been wanting it for days. Thinking of this made your face warm up despite the cold drops of rain falling on it.

Yoko’s voice brought you back to the present moment, among the sound of the raindrops on the trees above and the soaked soil swallowing your feet.

- Y/n-san, do you know this village? – she was asking – Any information about its geography can be useful for us to form a rescue plan!

You took a second to understand what she was saying under that storm, but once you did you tried as best as you could to explain that you’ve never been at the village.

- I’ve been in that tea house before, but I’ve never visited the village itself! I don’t know what we’re going to find there!

- So what now? – there was preoccupation implied in her tone.

- Supposing that the village’s territory is similar to the inn’s, with a flat ground and enough open space, things can be a bit easier – you knew it was a shot in the dark, but you wanted to avoid causing desperation in your new partner – It means that its people have a good chance to escape just by running. I’m a Doton user. I can stay behind and build barriers to delay the flood while you lead the way for them!

Fortunately for you, Yoko agreed with your suggestion.

- Right!

However, that was not the end of the conversation or your worries. The girl didn’t forget that Tobirama took a difficult – almost impossible –task for himself that would separate him from the rest of you, and decided to question him about it.

- And what about you, Tobirama-san? – she spoke to the man who was slightly ahead of you – What exactly are you going to do?

Tobirama replied your question as if the answer was something obvious.

- I am going to check the flood’s path and think of a way to stop it.

You opened your mouth and the storm drops that entered it almost made you gag.

- Listen, I know you are a master of Suiton, but I think that’s a bit extreme!

That time he looked at you while speaking.

- I do not plan to use mere Water Style to solve this, y/n-san. I will explain when we get there!

***

The village, just as the inn’s owner informed you, was so close to the tea house that you reached it in less than two minutes.

It was smaller than you imagined, though. It was formed by one large, main street that had its lines defined by groups of small, modest houses on both sides. These houses had their doors and windows all open, and the villagers were reunited outside them.You didn’t need to look for too long to see terror in their eyes. An old man was holding his cane so tight that his fingers were becoming pale; no so far from him, a woman was trying to calm down a child crying and asking what why was everybody so scared. Others were trying to run with packs on their backs, trying to reach the grove’s path. Among all those people there were some animals, faster than their owners in leaving the place to hide among the trees.

Tobirama, you and Yoko looked at each other but didn’t say anything. You just walked ahead and when the people noticed your presence, they opened the way for you without questioning your reasons to come. You knew what this reaction meant: it only showed how rare was for them to see shinobi in their territory.

Before any of you could ask who was in charge there, a man ran toward you, screaming:

- Who sent you three? The village is doomed! Soon this place is going to be under water!

You asked if anyone was missing.

- No, we are all here – the man replied – Except for Toji, who ran to the inn to alert the people there.

You were thinking of what to say in response when Tobirama took a step toward him and spoke in his commanding voice:

- We are shinobi from Konoha and we’re here to stop the flood! – and elevating his voice for the others to hear – All of you! My partners, y/n-san and Yoko-san, will guide you through the grove! Our other friends will meet your group in the middle of the way and help you! Do as they say and everyone will be safe!

You didn’t know it was possible for someone to obtain such power of influence on people they didn’t even know in so little time until you saw the people’s reaction to your husband’s words. Once they heard his voice, they gathered around him, their desperation soon replaced by a serious attention; they stopped pushing and stumbling on each other he gave his instructions. Their eyes turned to you then, and you did your best to calm them down: as your experiences in rescuing missions told you, that was the crucial moment when you had to make sure the victims would trust your leadership.

- Prioritize the women, the children and the elderly! Those ones who can carry children, do it! Do not take unnecessary weight with you! Follow the same direction and do not push each other! Yoko-san will go ahead of you, and I will be right behind you!

You pointed the grove’s path and felt relieved when you saw the people obeying your command. With words like “Do not look back” to the people, you went to the end of the line and saw Tobirama going to the end of the street, now empty. Instead of staying with the last people of the group, you followed him. You needed to ask what exactly he was going to do, because yes, you already knew he had an established plan, but you would feel safer if he shared its entirety with you.

Before you could say something, he turned and asked you:

- Y/n-san, do you have any Doton technique that is able to open a large crack or a ditch in the soil, one that could divide this ground from side to side?

You swallowed your surprise for receiving this very specific question and said that yes, you knew such technique. As well as its level of danger.

- Of course. But this is not a simple technique. It requires great quantity of chakra and might not work well if you’re not familiar with it. The ditch could end up not being deep or large enough.

Your reasons apparently were not enough to scare the Senju, however.

- Do not worry about it. This is exactly what I need right now. Tell me the signs.

You swallowed and told him the signs. His eyes followed your movements without blinking, and when you finished he thanked you with a nod. He made the signs of his Shadow Clone technique and created two other versions of him, each one with a pair of kunai that carried the mark of his Hiraishin. He also marked the Clones themselves with the seal.

As if he understood that you wouldn’t leave until he said something, he didn’t deny an explanation of his plan.

- Me and these two Clones are going to take positions at the points where the flood is going to pass. Each of us are going to use your jutsu to open ditches on the ground. They will contain part of the water and diminish its force. If it shows to not be enough to completely stop the flood, it will at least minimize the destruction in the village’s ground.

So he was really going to try what you suspected: to stop the water all by himself. Within the little time you had at the moment, you thought of it. If this have happened just a few days before, the first and only thing you’d think would be how ambitious, even pretentious of him to try such plan without help. But now that you’ve seen a bit more of Tobirama, something like that coming from him didn’t sound so absurd. No, it was exactly the kind of thing you should expect. You also remembered when he manifested an interest in seeing that village’s structure when you were talking to the inn’s owner. Of course: he lived in a village, one that he helped to build and worked to protect. It was only natural for him to be willing to do something for the people of this one when it was in his power to do it.

You stood for a moment.

- Tobirama.

That was the first time you called him by his name. It was enough to make him turn to you again; his Clones followed his move.

- If your plan doesn’t work as you expect, do not stay here.

There was no disdain for your preoccupation in his reply. Still, the respect for your worries didn’t stop him from exposing his belief in the plan’s success and reminding you that you didn’t know everything he could do. Not yet.

- It will work. Thanks to your technique.

And without waiting for a response from you, he turned to his Clones and sent them ahead. They used their kunai and teleported themselves to somewhere out of your sight.

***

When you went back to the group of villagers and explained your husband’s idea to Yoko, you sensed that she was as shocked with his plan as you were, but she was better than you in handling her surprise.

With the shock came the question you never felt you were ready to answer.

- Well, that’s an audacious thing to try. But do you trust him with this?

You nodded without thinking too much of your own fear. Yoko was not your only company; the villagers were there, looking at you – and you knew that in times like that, the wrong word could mess up with the best plans.

- I will go to the end of the line now. Just follow the plan!

The girl didn’t waste time with discussions or doubts.

- Right!

With these matters solved between you and her, you ran back to the end of the line.

But you wouldn’t stay with the people for too long. Patiently, you waited until the last villager entered the woods, far enough from the flood’s way, to go back to Yoko and talk to her apart from the folks.

- Listen. When you asked me if I trusted my husband’s plan, I said yes. And I really do. But I can’t go with you and leave him behind.

The woman’s reaction was nothing like you expected when you said that. Instead of minimizing your worries or suspecting from you, she put her hand on your shoulder, speaking in an assuring, whispered tone;

- Of course you can’t. Don’t worry. I’ve been living among men for a while. I know how stubborn they can be sometimes – she then looked over her shoulder, to a spot above, in a tree; there was a bird looking down at you, one of the species used to send messages – Besides, my brothers are close now. They can help me with the people.

You put your own hand on her shoulder to express your support and gratitude.

- Right. I’m leaving, then. Thank you.

She laughed.

- Just go!

You looked behind you, to the deep grove, eager to cross those trees again and terrified by what you could find after them. However, you were on a rescue mission, not only for the people of that village, but for him and yourself. You still had to leave that place and follow your journey; you still had to reach your family’s compound. And you wouldn’t do that if you stood there. The flood was coming. There was no time to waste.

You took a deep breath and forced your feet to move.

#tobirama #tobirama x reader #tobirama senju #tobirama fanfiction #tobirama fanfic

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stardust-kenobi · 5 years ago

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Calm Your Mind

Din Djarin x fem!reader

Summary: Your bond with Din continues to grow stronger, as do your intimate feelings for one another. You open up to him about being stressed, and he offers his assistance.

Warnings: fluff, light smut, fingering, Din being an angel and the king of consent

Word count: 2.3k

A/N: Ok so this is sort of a sequel to Stay but it can be read independently, which is why it’s named differently rather than as a part two. And just like that fic, the child isn’t with Din. It worked better for the plot I was writing. That remains the same in this fic as well. Side note: this is self indulgent

GIf is not mine

“Told you I’d win” you chuckled, throwing your cards flat in front of him.

He breathed out heavily with a subtle laugh trailing the end.

“You won because I’ve never played this before” Din attempted to justify his loss.

“Maybe. Or maybe I’m just really good at it” you teased.

“Probably a little of both” Din remarked.

You were both on your 4th card game of the evening, sat on the floor of the Crest’s cockpit so that Din could safely monitor the status of your trip. Unbeknownst to him, you stared at him, admiring his company, while he gathered his cards to start a new game.

A week had passed since you shared your first kiss together by the fire on Endor. You worried that things would be awkward. They were, at first, but it was your own fault for not knowing how to act with all of your built up romantic feelings for him. The issue of not being able to see him, though, thankfully didn’t create any barriers for you two.

That same night of your first intimate moment, Din asked if you would sleep in his bed with him. He claimed he felt bad that you were always shivering when you slept on the floor, but you know he needed your warmth and company during the night. It was so dark in his compartment that housed his small bed that he was able to comfortably sleep next to you while his helmet and armor were all removed considering you couldn’t see him. So now you sleep next to him every night. It’s cramped in his quarters but the comfort of his touch soothes you to bed every evening without fail.

To no surprise, you two couldn’t keep your lips off of each other. The access to his bare face in the darkness tempted you to no end. Overall, though, you were taking things slow with each other’s bodies. You’d not progressed any further than making out with him on nightly basis. His body provided a multitude of signals that he wanted more, some of those signals were more obvious than others, but you both understood that slower was better.

Through all of this, he also offered you a kindness that you’d never experienced before. He cared about you. He was protective of you. He never failed to make sure you were always feeling okay and that you were happy. Din was falling for you, too. That much was clear.

“Another round?” Din suggested.

“I’m feeling a little tired, actually” you announced, hinting that you were done playing.

“Okay. Get some rest” he looked back at you. It remained that you were only able to adore the reflection of the beskar that protected and covered his physical features. You stare for an obvious amount of time before he notices. Din observes the slight frown now present on your expression.

“Is everything ok?” He inquired with concern.

“Oh yeah, I’m okay. Really, I’m just tired” you admitted. That was the truth. You were tired. But you also had too much on your mind. Your past was haunting your memories. You hoped that sleeping would clear your thoughts.

“You seem stressed” he stated. How could he read you so well?

“Yeah...Just a lot on my mind” you confessed to him.

“Do you want to talk to me about it?” His tone was warm and worrisome.

“I know I haven’t been very open about my past, it’s just something I want to leave behind me. I used to live on my own...I was living life in constant danger” you started. Your eyes were glued to the floor. You were shy when discussing your life, specifically that part of it.

“You’re safe with me, y/n” he reminded you. “I’ll never let anyone or anything hurt you, cyar’ika. I promise”

A small bundle of tears formed in your eyes. You believed him, which made it more emotional for you. Memories of your cold, harsh past was absent now. All your attention turned to the warmth you felt for him inside your heart. He sees your sorrow building and pushes himself from where he sat to sit next to you.

“That means so much to me, Din” you looked up at him.

“You mean so much to me” he responded certainly.

His gloved thumb stopped the tear from trailing your cheek. Din was getting better at expressing his feelings, and you’d like to think you helped him achieve that.

“I don’t even know how to respond to someone saying something that nice to me”

“You don’t have to say a word, y/n. I just needed you to hear it. I needed you to know”

“Thank you” you said softly while leaning against his shoulder.

“No...thank you, y/n” he said, grateful for your presence.

“I haven’t always known how to express myself...or my...feelings I guess” he began “but somehow, with you, it feels easier”

“You say everything that you need to say” you consoled him.

“Are you happy?” He inquired suddenly

“I’m happy with you, yes. I just wish I could calm my mind” you breathed out in frustration.

“You really should go lie down, get some sleep” he suggested, wanting you to be able to relax. “That might help”

“Okay” you agreed. Din rose to his feet and turned to lift you onto yours as well. You smiled sweetly as his gestures and migrated out of the cockpit.

“I’ll be there shortly, need to adjust some things on the ship first” He said, turning toward the ships controls, assumedly to set it to autopilot for the night. His attention snapped to you behind him once more to see you smiling back at him.

You changed your clothing. You remained only in a tank top and some shorts. As you crawled into the bed, you closed the door, waiting on Din to join you soon. You knew he had to remove his armor before entering and you wanted to close yourself off from accidentally seeing him helmetless.

As you laid there, you wondered if you had the time to masturbate. Your tension from your loaded stress and racing thoughts could likely be somewhat deflated if you could relieve yourself in that way. You feared being too forward by asking Din to help you, so you wanted to do it quickly on your own.

In the process of making the decision, Din knocked twice onto the door, meaning he was going to open the door and to shut your eyes.

You hear the latch close as the weight of his body joined next to you. When you opened your eyes, It returned to complete darkness as your mind is beginning to calm itself with his close presence. You couldn’t wait to feel his body against yours. As you turned over, you feel the bare skin of his chest, a new experience for you. Normally, he keeps his undershirt and pants on when he sleeps at night.

“It’s a little warm in here. Is it okay that I’m like this?” He asked. You never got over how lovely his pure voice was when he was without his helmet and so close to you.

You took in the feeling of his unexpectedly soft skin on his torso and firmness of his abdomen against you. Your fingers travelled from his neck to his stomach, admiring the way he felt. The way he really felt.

“This is more than okay to me” you said, a satisfied tone in your voice.

“Okay, sweetheart”

Your heart melted at this new name for you. You shyly giggled.

He responded by pressing his lips against your forehead delicately before bringing them down to your mouth and pushing his kiss deep into you. You savored his scent and his taste while you could.

“Goodnight” he whispered.

“Goodnight”

You tossed subtly back and forth, and in the small space, it was apparent to Din. You couldn’t fall asleep, not with your current state of mind.

“Y/n are you alright?” He worriedly asked when your restlessness persisted.

“I can’t sleep” you frustratingly stated.

“What can I do to help?” He inquired.

Here’s your chance, y/n...

“Well you could....” you started, unable to finish your sentence.

“I could what?” He awaited your request.

“Um, usually when I’ve got a lot on my mind I’ll...y’know...” you continued hesitantly

“What do you mean?...oh!” He realized what you meant after it processed with him.

“You don’t have to do that though, just forget it” you spit out, not wanting him to pleasure you if he didn’t want to.

“I...um, I’d like that, actually”

The way he said it you could just tell there was a giant smirk plastered onto his expression.

“Really?” You rhetorically asked, shocked at his response.

“I want to help you feel better...and feel...good” he struggled to find the words. Your heart began to beat faster, this was the first time he’d touch you, really touch you.

“Is that okay?” He requested your consent.

“Yes” you breathed softly.

“If you want me to stop just tell me”

“Okay”

“I’m gonna get on top of you okay?” He walked you through his actions because of the darkness inside his quarters.

You laid flat on your back and he placed one knee between your partially opened legs and the other knee to the left of your hip.

You heart fluttered and the butterflies inside your stomach were so excited that they tried to fly away from you. You were nervous, but you were ready for him to have his hands on you, and in you.

His lips crashed into yours again. He pressed them into you deeply and your mouths danced together in sync. It grew more intense while his hand wandered your body gently, his bare hand. His skins against yours. His fingers curled under the hem of your shorts and tugged lightly. You lifted your hips, allowing him the ability to remove them. As you shimmy them off at your ankles, the warmth of his hand slowly travelled up your thigh.

The kiss was removed from your mouth and relocated to your neck. Something barely resembling a moan was released from your mouth at the feeling of him exploring you. He smiled against your skin, continuing to place delicate pecks down to your collarbone.

His finds his way to your slit, barely accessible to him with the narrow opening you provided with your legs.

“This still okay?” He wanted to reconfirm with you before he went any further.

“Yes, please” you begged, so aroused already that you could barely stand it. You opened your legs slightly wider.

“You’re so soft” he whispered as he trailed his fingers up your slit, finding your aching clit and applying slightly pressure.

“Mmm” you moaned softly

He took it slow, responding your voice and body language as you rolled your hips up into him. He laid 3 fingers flat against your clit and rotated them slowly.

“Does that feel good, cyar’ika?”

“Yes, Din” you breathed.

He rubbed with more pressure, adding to your pleasure as he continued to focus on your sensitive parts. You whimpered at his touch while he hovered above you, listening to your sounds and focusing on making you feel good.

You didn’t think he had much experience in this area but he was proving to be a quick learner.

You were dripping wet now and needed to be filled. He must’ve read your mind because as soon as you felt your own wetness pooling between your legs, his fingers arrived at your entrance.

“Shit” you cried as he pushed two fingers inside of you. Your walls were tight around him while he pumped his digits slowly.

“That’s it” he encouraged you. “tell me how good it feels”

“It feels so good, Din” you moaned to him. His lips pressed firm against yours again, unexpectedly. You slipped your tongue between his lips and he gladly reciprocated the action. You continued to moan into his mouth in reaction to his fingers pumping faster.

Subtle, precious noises came form within him too. He was turned on by pleasuring you that it too brought himself pleasure.

He was consistent with his motions inside of you, making it easier for you to reach your orgasm quicker. His fingers curled as they retracted, hitting a deep sweet spot against your walls.

“You like that? Huh? You gonna cum baby?” He seductively asked after pulling away from your lips, his mouth close to your ear.

“Yes, I’m so close” you breathed out hard to catch your breath.

“Cum around my fingers, cyar’ika. C’mon” he coaxed you closer to your climax. His voice was no doubt the sexiest thing about him, you could cum to the sound of his voice alone. His words words were filled with an alluring tone, something you really hadn’t heard from him before.

“Fuck, f-fuck yes, I’m gonna cum, Din” you whined with your climax arriving gradually.

“Yeah, there you go, cum for me”

On his command, your stomach tightened. The orgasm formed and washed over your body so gracefully.

“Yes, Din, fuck!” You cried his name before rolling your eyes into the back of your head, seeing stars, overwhelmed with the pleasure that flowed through your body. Your hips rolled up into his body still hovered above you and your back arched in response to the sensational feeling radiating through you.

Din slid his arm under your arched back and held you close to him. He focused intensely on riding you through your high. He showed how deeply he cared about your body and making you feel good.

“Oh my god” you whispered through your heavy breathing, realizing as you came down that it was one of the most intense climaxes you’ve ever had.

“You sound so beautiful” he spoke softly, removing his fingers from you gently.

You giggled and wrapped your hand around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. You pulled at the top of his pants, showing him you wanted to return the favor. He stopped you.

“This was about you. We’ll worry about me another time" he gestured. Unknown to him, you smiled at how polite he was.

“Are you sure?”

“Let’s just sleep now, okay?” He kissed your forehead delicately and returned himself next to you. You feel his arms wrap around your body, and his hand pulled your head onto his chest, so that you could rest peacefully with a clear mind.

IDK WHY I FEEL LIKE THIS SUCKS BUT I AM POSTING IT ANYWAYS OK BYE :)

#din djarin #mandalorian #the mandalorian #din djarin x reader #mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x reader #din x reader #din djarin fluff #din djarin smut #mandalorian smut #my work #mandalorian fluff #din djarin x y/n #din djarin x you #mandalorian x y/n #mandalorian x you

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thewalkingdead-imagines · 4 years ago

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TWD - Negan Imagine ~ “Diverged”

Imagine for the 21st episode of Season 10

Summary: Follow Negan and the Reader through the days after Maggie’s arrival in Alexandria, through struggles and tension, domestic bliss, and a special little celebration.

Warning: Smut

Day 1 after Maggie’s arrival Warm morning sun was streaming through the windows of the living room and the kitchen, filling it up with a warmth that you very much needed after the nerve-wracking last night. You hadn’t slept badly, but your body was still letting you know that it didn’t like the ordeal of fear and tears you’d put it through last night. You tried to stay positive, new day, new game, but the thought that you could run into Maggie any moment you’d step foot out of your house gave you a feeling of the ugly kind. “Fuck, really needed that coffee”, Negan groaned as you watched him take a big gulp from his cup, his figure still a little slumped over the table and his face was still painted in the remaining exhaustion that was stuck in him as well. “Mhm me too”, you sighed, reaching for your cup, taking another sip while you could feel Negan’s hand reaching for yours, taking it into his grasp as he cleared his throat slightly. “So we’re just gonna-” Cut off by two quick knocks on the door your glimpse shot up from your cup, darting right at the door, revealing Gabriel’s black clothed figure right behind its windows. Your stomach started to sink from one moment to another, unsure what to think, unsure what he would do and say now that Maggie was back, unsure if he was here to try and snap Negan’s freedom back again, or if it was just something trivial that had brought him here. “Fuck”, it fell from Negan’s lips the same moment a tense sound fell from yours and you stood up from your spot, letting go of Negan’s hand to move towards the door while your heart started to drum against your chest, pounding harshly as you finally pushed down the handle. “Morning, can I come in?”, the priest asked, the look on his face not readable enough for you to know whether he had good or bad news. “Sure”, you only nodded, gulping thickly as he walked past you towards the table, watching him closely as you followed him. “Mornin’ Gabey boy”, Negan chuckled, overplaying any of the stress and fear he clearly felt too. The bright grin was plastered onto his face, but just one look into his eyes gave away what he was truly feeling right now. “Morning to you too, Negan. I just got some updates for the both of you”, he said, looking in between the both of you and finally, he seemed to pick up on the thick tension that was laying in the air.

“It’s nothing negative, no need to worry”, he quickly added and while a burden already seemed to fall from your shoulders and your heart started to slow down its relentless pounding, a part of you was still on edge. “Aaron and I will leave for an extensive run in a few hours. Maggie provided us with a map with possible scavenging locations further out. I just thought it would be good to let you know, also concerning the council”, he said as he looked to you while you were still nearly hanging onto his lips, waiting for him to finish so you could be sure that no bad surprise was waiting for you,”With both of us gone, most of the remaining council is gone as well, there’s only you, Nora and Kyle left...which means it is inactive for the time being, as soon as we’re back, we will look for new members and make any decisions together.” “And what does that mean for us?”, Negan finally asked, the grin gone as the tension broke through his facade as he glanced up to the priest, “C’mon Gabe, You just said it, Maggie is back. So as long as you and spikey boy are out there we’ll just continue as before? Do our work and live here?” “That’s the plan”, he nodded,”I’ve told you before, every helping hand is needed and living in this home has worked during the last days as well. A well rested worker is a good worker. So yes, you will continue as before.” “And others know that as well? As long as you’re gone we can count on this?”, you asked, still too tense to trust it all completely yet no matter how much you wanted to believe it,“I just...I just want to be sure that Maggie’s presence won’t spontaneously change things while you’re gone. We won’t start anything of course, we’ll keep our distance, I just want to be sure that we can count on this now.” “You can”, he nodded once more, sighing as he still saw the suspicion on both of your faces. You wished it was different, you wished you could act and be a little more lighthearted and less tense but you’d been disappointed too many times before and you weren’t gonna let that happen again, not if you had any chance to avoid it. “I’ve told Kyle and Nora...and yes, I’ve let Daryl know as well just as Maggie does. I’m not saying she likes it but this decision is set in stone for as long as we’re gone”, he said, looking in between the both of you, “And as I told you last time, I generally see no problem in keeping the situation permanently as it is.” “Okay, thank you, Gabe”, you finally got out, allowing yourself to let his words finally calm you while Negan joined in, sighing softly as he got the priest’s attention. “I know I’ve been screwing with you here and there but I appreciate this, Gabey, Really”, he said, looking straight but entirely genuine at the other man, who started to clear his throat slightly. “Good...I am not entirely sure how long this run will take, but it will be something around two weeks. I’ll see you when I’m back”, he started, looking once more in between the both of you before he started to head towards the door again. “Take care”, you said as you moved in behind him, reaching for his arm to stop him for a moment as he was about to step outside, “I mean it, thank you. This means a lot.” He only gave you another look, a slightly warmer one you’d rarely seen in him during the last while before he nodded slightly and slipped outside, leaving you at the doorstep for a moment as the fresh morning breeze brushed over your face and allowed you to relax slightly and process the news that were much better than you’d actually anticipated. For now, things were good, and you’d just appreciate that to the fullest.

2 days after Maggie’s arrival Business as usual. Just like Gabriel had proposed. You hadn’t seen Maggie on the streets of Alexandria at all yesterday, only one or two of her people and you were quite grateful that it had stayed that limited after the tumultuous night you’ve had before, though you knew that it certainly wouldn’t stay that way. They were probably getting that house ready that Maggie had simply picked for them, and while that fact irked you a little, you were partly grateful that it bought you some more time to adjust. Still half lost in your thoughts you moved through the quiet infirmary, only hearing Steve move something around on the first floor, collecting some new bed sheets for the only stationary patient you had at the moment. “I got you, only this one more step”, an unfamiliar male voice rumbled from the porch dully into the room, just loud enough for your attention to spike up and turn you into the direction of the voice. Tilting your head you glimpsed through the windows, trying to sort the voice to a face and from one moment to another, it was crystal clear to you why you didn’t recognize it. The voice didn’t belong to an Alexandrian, Hilltoper or even former Kingdom resident, those were two of Maggie’s people. A shudder ran down your back as you watched the man whose voice you’d just heard help the blonde woman he propped with his arms towards the door, slow but still not slow enough for you to prepare yourself for the situation. Did they know who you were? Did Maggie or maybe any other person in here already point it out to them? For a moment, you wanted to call Steve downstairs, to take no chances and avoid unnecessary confrontations but you didn’t have enough time for that left and a small part of you hoped that doing a good job now might benefit you and Negan at some other point. Still, it didn’t leave you any less tense as the man pushed the door open, his eyes on the floor until the both of them moved a little more into the room and he finally looked up. “Morning, we’re here to get a new bandage for her foot”, he rumbled, tucking a loose strand of his dark hair back into his low bun as you moved towards the both of them, trying to find some kind of recognition in his eyes but at least for now, it didn’t seem like he knew who you were, and if that was the case, it might be best to keep it this way. You weren’t in the mood for confrontations. Not here. Not now. “Sure, just help me get her on the cot”, you said, smiling softly as you moved in next to the woman, propping her just enough to get her comfortably onto the nearest cot and a sigh of relief left her lips as soon as she could adjust herself and relieve her foot from any weight that had still lasted onto it. “I’ll quickly get some stuff to wrap this up again”, you said as you moved towards the counters, a certain tension still lasting onto you as you reached for the small notebook with notes you kept about the patients, searching for the latest fitting entry of the day before yesterday that fit to her injury. “Your name’s Linda, right?”, you asked as you glimpsed up from the book, watching as the younger woman looked up and nodded softly. “You’re keeping track of the patients?”, the man asked, curious as he tilted his head a little to glimpse at the book. “Yeah, makes it easier to know for any follow up appointments what drugs, salves or else were used”, you said, still with a friendly look on your face as you nodded back to the book, “Also easier to keep track on how much of meds we still got left, just makes things a lot faster and simple.” “Yeah I’m just asking ‘cause our doc back at our old village did the same thing, had a book that looked exactly like that one, just had me curious”, he said, a bittersweetness in his voice before he let out a thick sigh,”Not sure if you heard but the reason we left is the same reason she got injured...hurt herself when the rest of our group fled from that bastard in the woods.”´ß “Yeah I did”, you nodded, moving in to grab what you needed, glimpsing in between the book and Linda and Cole as you threw the supplies into a small basket, ready to use them as you made your way back and gave her a small smile,”Gonna make sure you’re fully back on your feet quickly.” “I’m Cole by the way”, he said the moment you reached them, extracting his hand out to you and with that, sending just another shiver of tension through you as you realized that there was no way past introducing yourself anymore. “Well then nice to meet you, Cole”, you said, giving him another smile, trying to give him one last kind impression of yourself before you gulped thickly as you accepted his hand, only hoping that this would be the first time he’d hear your name. “I’m (Y/N).” It wasn’t the first time. it most definitely wasn’t. From one moment to another, it seemed to click in him. His kind looking dark eyes widened slightly before they narrowed as his face fell flat, saying with that expression more than 1000 words ever could while his grip on your hand loosened. “Well, then let’s get this done, huh?”, you could hear yourself awkwardly mumble as you let go of his hand, trying to act as if this hadn’t just happened while you only hoped that he would just give you the silent treatment instead of spewing a remark. Tensely you started to get to work, trying to ignore what had just happened though you could very much tell that they were eyeing you. Linda more than Cole, but the looks you could see him giving you from the corner of your eyes were still obvious enough to notice. Thorough but as fast as you could you finished the job, making sure to not look as tensed as you felt before you finally tossed the last bit of scraps back into the basket and looked back up again. “Alright, it’s done. You can come back anytime you feel like you need a bandage change, if nothing happens and it mostly stays in place, you could come by tomorrow evening or the day after”, you said, just trying to act as if this situation wasn’t as awkward and tense as it truly was. With that, you only got a short “Thanks” and “Bye” of them and right after those words had been spoken, they got themselves out of the infirmary without saying just another word. And while this was by far not the worst case scenario, you knew that your time of adjusting was over with these few minutes that were surely just the beginning of a ton of tense encounters. “Delivery for the doc?”, a warm, familiar voice filled up the room, its suddeness that cut through the silence from one moment to another letting you flinch as you turned around and saw Negan standing by the side entrance door with a large wooden box in his hands that he quickly let down by the door as he moved inside towards you. “Fuck, you look like ya saw a damn ghost. Did I scare you that much?”, he chuckled as he reached you, moving in to grasp your jaw and press a kiss over your lips. Humming you leaned into him, kissing him back until he slowly let go of you and looked over your face, almost as if he was trying to read off of your expression what exactly was wrong. “Two of Maggie’s people were here just now”, you eventually mumbled, watching his face tense up quickly before you shook your head softly. “They didn’t do anything but their attitude changed up real quick once they heard my name”, you mumbled, sighing softly as you shrugged your shoulders,”At least didn’t throw any remarks around but the silence was awkward as hell.” Negan only nodded, his face a little less tense than before but still far from relaxed as you leaned up to press another small kiss over his lips. “Now what’s the delivery? I’m curious”, you asked, trying to switch up the topic as you nodded towards the box that still stood by the door and Negan’s face began to light back up. “Went out with your colleague’s husband today and got some cuts for those herbs you needed”, he said as he let go of you and strolled over to the door to heave the box with a small grunt up and carry it over to the counter by your side ,”Daniel and I wanna go out an dig ‘em up some other day. Steve told him getting some tinctures and salves done is kinda urgent so we thought we’d get some cuts for y’all first.” “Oh that’s awesome”, you said, glimpsing into the box that was filled with neatly tied bundles of herbs, though your excitement wasn’t only directed at the new supplies but also at the fact that Negan seemed to have had a rather positive experience with another Alexandrian, and he could use that at the moment. “We got a bunch of chamomile, some burning nettles, comfrey, burdock, dandelions and some lavender”, Negan mumbled as he gestured into the box as you peeked inside,”Reading those damn plant books down in that fucking cell finally pays off. First that Hogweed shit with Aaron and now this.” A chuckle fell from your lips as you reached inside the box and grasped the small bundle of lavender and held it up to your nose to smell its calming scent. “Oh this smells so good”, you mumbled, backing a little off to glimpse at the small and pretty lilac blossoms ,”Crazy how fast everything’s blooming now. Feels like those pretty wildflowers by the woodhouses also just popped up from one day to another.” Laying the lavender back into the box you moved closer to Negan to wrap your arms around his neck and lean into kiss him softly, smiling as you leaned back to glimpse at him. “Thank you”,you mumbled, reaching your hand up to run it trough his dark hair and elicited a small, content groan to fall from Negan’s lips ,”How were things with Daniel outside?” “Actually pretty damn good”, Negan said, the grin on his face growing a little wider and some more relief spread through you,”Nice guy, really...felt good just being looked at like a normal damn person.” “See”, you mumbled, giving him another smile,”Told you there’s also people who’ve grown to accept you. Not everything’s bad.” Slowly, Negan nodded, the smile still resting on his lips. Things wouldn’t become easier, if anything had shown you that it was the encounter with Cole and Linda just now, but these little positive news were enough to let you realize once more that there were still people in this town that were starting to accept Negan. You just couldn’t let the opinions of those that still despised him overshadow those who were willing to give him an honest chance to start anew.

4 days after Maggie’s arrival A deep sigh fell from your lips as you fumbled the DVD of the likely most horrible horror movie you’d watched to this day out of the console, popping it quickly back into its packaging to push it, hopefully, to never be seen again into the TV shelf. Glimpsing over your shoulder you watched as Negan poured the both of you new drinks in the kitchen, waiting for you to choose the next thing to watch for your daily little movie night that would hopefully distract you from the cliché filled atrocity you’d just watched. Shifting on the fluffly carpet you moved along the backs of the DVD packages until you found the one you wanted and pulled it out just as you saw the lights in the kitchen turn off again and heard Negan’s footsteps coming closer. “Watcha poppin’ in there?”, he asked, curiously rising his eyebrows as he tried to peek at the package in your hands and took a small sip of his whiskey. ““Can you resist?” I need something trashy and fun after that bummer”, you said with a small chuckle and held the tacky, and bright colored packaging up, just enough for Negan to see it as he sat down on the edge of the couch and brightly grinned at you. “Need something to calm ya down?”, he asked, tease swinging heavily through his voice ,”Was that thing too scary for you?” “No”, you quickly retorted before you popped the package open,“I just need to erase that crap from my mind.” “Sure thing.” “Asshole”, you chuckled in response to his comment that just oozed sarcasm, leaning in over to him to give his leg a small, playful slap while a thick laugh rumbled up his throat. Glimpsing back down you moved the DVD into the console, a little more eager to finally get it running. The first four episodes that you’d watched during the last nights had already been nothing but a fun guilty pleasure, that got so much better with Negan’s remarks about the candidates and whatever actions they were pulling at the moment. If you were honest, those remarks were likely what you enjoyed most about watching the show. “I swear if Sarah and Chad are the first fuckin’ faces we see, I’m gonna lose my shit”, Negan groaned as he stood up from the couch’s edge and moved back to his usual spot, plopping down onto it, careful to not spill any of your drinks as he threw his legs onto the cushions. “I’ve never seen two people on TV who’ve got on my nuts that much”, he scoffed, sipping once more on his glass as you grabbed the remote and moved back over to him,”I get it, not fuckin’ is hard but not so fuckin’ hard to resist if 100 thousand dollar are on the damn line. Just resist for a while and then have a big-ass fuckfest after you collect the damn coin.” “At least the drama’s good”, you chuckled back, reaching for your glass as you moved in next to him and started the show, almost eager to forget about that dumb movie and hear what kind of remarks Negan had to offer up for this episode. “That’s true”, he mumbled as you set your glass back on the coffee table and cuddled up to his side, watching the screen load before another contestant’s face showed up on the screen and a relieved groan fell from Negan’s lips,”Oh thank god...Y’know who that guy reminds me of?” Glancing up you looked in between Negan and the young man that was shown on TV, trying to figure out for a moment who he could refer to before you shook your head and watched Negan’s grin flare up once more. “Gabey.” “What?”, it fell from your lips with a laugh, as you glimpsed confused back to Negan. “Y’know he’s acting all coy and shit but I bet he might be kinkier than we think”, he said, grinning widely as he bit his lip before he gestured to the TV ,”I’m sure he’s gonna get laid by that Valerie girl.” “You sure he won’t be able to resist?”, you mumbled, tilting your head a little as said Valerie showed up on screen and started to move towards Gabey 2.0 ,”He’s been responsible till now.” “Till now”, Negan grinned, holding his pointing finger up before he snickered and grinned just a little wider,”He’s gonna break at some point...especially if she keeps on inviting him on those dates...and I can’t wait for the shit storm that will break loose once that happens.”

7 days after Maggie’s arrival The sun was already nearing the skyline of the trees and filled the air with its warm light as you reached your home after a long day of work. You’d stayed a little longer at the infirmary today, fixing up some new tinctures with the herbs that Negan and Daniel had brought in and by now, you were just glad to finally come home and fill your stomach up with whatever delicious meal Negan had prepared by now. Once you reached your home you quickly moved up the porch, taking two steps at the time only to hear the door opening as soon as you reached the top. “Hey Sweetheart”, Negan said, a wide grin on his face as he leaned against the doorframe while your eyes ran over him. Usually, he was already in his comfortable clothes around this time, ready to just relax for the rest of the day but now, he looked like he’d freshly slicked back his hair and threw some fresh dark gray pants on and a white shirt on. You most definitely weren’t complaining, but you were still surprised. “Hey”, you said back, grinning back at him as you moved in to greet him with a kiss, peeking curiously past him as you caught a high vase on the dinner table that was filled with the pretty wildflowers you’d seen blooming by the woodhouses and that only sparked your curiosity further. “What’s going on here?”, you asked as you leaned a bit back and tilted your head slightly, watching as something that looked a little but like nervousness spread over his face as he took your hand and lead you inside, where you could already smell the delicious scent of Negan’s spaghetti sauce filling the air. “Y’know...around this time last year I put that ring on your finger”, he said as he closed the door behind you and looked down to your hand before glimpsing right back up at you with a warm but still slightly nervous look in his eyes,”I can’t be sure about the exact date but I...I thought it would be nice to celebrate our anniversary in some way...I just wanted to do something special for you.” From one moment to another the smile on your lips got wider, bringing warmth all over you as you looked from the flowers in the vase, to the few burning thick candles, to the nicely set table and the fresh basket of self made biscuits that was laying beside the cutlery. “Wow, I-” “You said you liked ‘em so I thought they’d make a nice bouquet, uhm-”, Negan said as he nodded towards the flowers. The slight nervousness that filled the usually so confident and self-assure man was honestly adorable and you found yourself charmed as he moved from your side over to his chair and picked up something that he’d been hiding there till now ,”I got something else for you too.” With that he lifted up a pretty, dark brown leather bound notebook from its spot, a loving look filling his eyes as he moved back over to you. “You always said you wanted to create some kinda handbook for those healing herbs and stuff but you never actually got to do it before...so when I was out there getting those herb cuts, I got the idea and thought I’d start it for you.” “Holy shit”, it left your lips as you reached in to accept his gift, already smiling widely as you glimpsed at the notebook,”Thank you.” Your mouth fell softly open as you glanced down, running your thumb over the soft leather as more warmth filled you. Spending your time either working at the infirmary or being down by Negan in his cell for the last years had never given you the time to start a book like this, and it got you even happier now that it was him who gave it to you. It was personal and it was perfect and as you finally opened it the smile on your face grew only wider.

To the best wife (and doc) ever! Happy anniversary, Sweetheart I love you

Negan’s handwriting filled the whole top of the first page, neat and not as messy as you were used to it and you could tell that it had cost him some effort to get it this way. And just as your eyes swayed over the last three words they got captured by the smaller written line at the bottom of the page. P.S. You have, and always will, give my dick and my heart the biggest boner!

With that, a laugh fell from your lips as your eyes ran over the sentence, while the smile on your lips surely turned into an everlasting one. You loved the sweet message on the top of the page, but this down there was Negan through and through and that made it even more special to you. “First thought I’d hold myself a bit back in case you’d want others to look into it too”, Negan chuckled as you finally glimpsed up to him from the book and he winked at you,”Couldn’t go through with it all the way tho.” “I’m glad you didn’t”, you chuckled, your curiosity taking over again as you started to turn the pages and found yourself loving the book more and more with every second. Negan had taken a leaf or blossom of each of the herbs that he’d found outside, dried them and carefully glued them into the book, dedicating a page for each of the dried samples with their names written neatly on top of them and with enough pages left between each of them for you to fill with whatever notes and knowledge you had about them. “Oh my”, it fell from your lips as you browsed through the book that must have been a whole lot of work, especially considering that he always only had time to work on it whenever he got earlier back from his shifts than you. “Wish I could give you more, I know it’s not much-”, you suddenly heard him start, cut off by your sudden movement as you looked up at him and glanced wide eyes at him. “Are you kidding me?”,you asked, a soft chuckle falling from your lips as you widely smiled at him ,”This is so awesome. I love it!” Negan’s face began to light up as his eyes roamed over your happy face, his glance softening as you sat the book carefully down onto the table and moved in to hug him tightly. “Thank you so so much”, you mumbled, nuzzling your nose into his warm neck while his arms wrapped around you and pulled you closer into his embrace,”This is so sweet.” You’d never had such a thing as an anniversary before, there had never been this moment where the both of you had decided that you were a couple, it had just happened, little by little until you found yourself in love with one another and you’d always liked it this way. But this, this was special. It was something you’d never been able to do during all these years down in that cell and celebrating just anything with him now got you happy, just as the realization that you’d been calling him your husband for a year now. Leaning back you tipped up to meet his lips in a kiss, humming into him before you could feel a tiny bit of guilt starting to prick you as you realized that you were pretty much empty handed. “Now I don’t even have anything for you”, you mumbled as you let got of his lips, watching as Negan quickly shook his head. “And you don’t need to”, he mumbled, moving in to cup your face with his hands as he leaned down to press another kiss over your lips,”What you did during the last years is more than I could ever give back to you.” A small sigh left his lips as he glimpsed at you, licking his lips as his eyes stayed fixed on you. “Shit, everything you dragged down that cell to make it look more comfy was basically a damn gift”, he mumbled, a small snort falling from his lips before he shrugged his shoulders softly,”I could never give you one.” “You gave me this”, you said, holding up your left hand and the slim diamond wedding ring Negan had fixed up for you,”That’s a pretty big one.” A hum fell from Negan’s lips as his eyes swayed from the ring back to you as you let your arm lower and wrap back around his torso again. “I’m serious tho”, you mumbled, sure to keep his eyes locked on yours ,”I know you won’t believe that but you’ve given me just as much as I have given you, in one way or another. We’re even, Negan.” He softly nodded, and even though he did, you knew he’d never truly think this way. “Thank you so much for this”, you mumbled, looking over from the flowers and the notebook back at your husband ,”It’s perfect...I don’t even really know what to say I just-....I love you so much.” “I love you too”, Negan mumbled back, moving back in to kiss you, this time longer and with more passion, until your knees started to feel gooey and you found yourself melted against him. Slowly and reluctantly, Negan let go of your lips and leaned his forehead against yours, smiling widely as you heard the blubbering of the still simmering tomato sauce on the stove and let a small chuckle fall from your lips. “I want some of those spaghetti now tho...I’m starving.”

The spaghetti were as great as always and you quickly filled your stomach up with the delicious meal, loving every little moment of your anniversary dinner with Negan until you decided to quickly hop under the shower so you could enjoy the rest of the night with him down in the living room. With a towel wrapped around your body and busy with drying off your hair with another, smaller one you moved from the bathroom back into the bedroom, lost in your thoughts for a moment as your eyes swayed over the trees outside that were only enlighted by now by the faint moonlight until your eyes dropped from the windows and landed on Negan’s leatherjacket that laid over the back of the desk-chair. Smiling softly you moved towards it, running your fingers over the smooth leather until it clicked within you from one moment to another and an idea quickly rose up into your head that would allow you to still give Negan a little gift for the anniversary as well. Dropping the towel from your body you tossed it along with the smaller one to the bed and grabbed the jacket to slip it over your bare body, chuckling to yourself as you already imagined his reaction to it and could feel an anticipating tingling growing quickly within you. A small grin already laid on your face as you adjusted the oversized jacket on your body and started to move downstairs as quietly as you could, aiming to not let Negan see you until you wanted him too. Peeking inside the living room you saw him sitting relaxed on the couch, leaned back into the cushions and with his back darted towards you as he looked through some DVDs. Gulping softly you moved forwards, extra careful to not step onto the floorboards that were usually squeaking a little underneath your feet until you stood right behind Negan. Slowly, you lowered yourself a little until you could wrap your leather clad arms around him from behind and leaned in, just enough to align your lips with his ear. “I have a little surprise for you after all”, you whispered, immediately hearing a sharp breath falling from Negan’s lips as he turned around and stared with wide eyes at you that started to narrow as soon as his glance wandered over you. “Holy fuck”, he growled, licking his lips as he rushed up from the couch and rounded it within seconds, hurrying over to you while his eyes already filled with the lust you knew all too well. ”Thought we could check off another goal from that bucket list of yours”, you said with a grin as soon as he reached you, his eyes still roaming over you like a hungry predator that was looking at its prey. ”Oh for fuckin’ sure”, you could hear him murmur as he leaned down to met you in a rough kiss, his hands already starting to move underneath the leather and wander over your bare skin. Running your hands through his hair you winced softly against his lips as he lead you towards the dinner table, groaning into you as your body met the wood. ”This gotta be a fuckin’ dream”, he grumbled, only letting go of you to look down at you,”Don’t know how often I’ve imagined you wearing only that jacket, fuck.” You quickly found yourself in another rough kiss, only breaking it to get the rest of the stuff off the table along with the vase of flowers and the notebook before you felt Negan pushing you against it, more than ready to take this further. “Fuckin’ hell”, you heard him groan against your lips as his hands moved below the jacket and cupped your breasts, fondling them and brushing his rough thumbs over your sensitive nipples while you leaned into his touch, eager to get more of it. Humming his lips trailed down from your mouth to your neck, kissing and nipping at it as your hand dove into his thick hair and grasped it tightly as you felt him biting the skin gently but firm enough to let a small sting shoot through your body. “Oh fuck”, it fell softly from your lips, your eyes closing for a moment before you felt one of his hands traveling up to cup your throat, squeezing it lightly as he leaned back and grinned down at you. “Sit and lean back, Baby”, he said lowly, not needing to do much more for you to do as he said as you could already feel your body tingling in anticipation of what was to come while his hand was still wrapped around your throat. Breathing sharply in you leaned back until your leather covered back meet the wood, your fingers running over its roughness while your eyes found Negan’s that were staring narrowed down on you. “This, shit, this is a sight for the gods”, he murmured, licking his lips as the wolfish grin on his lips widened, enjoying the view for a moment longer until his hand ran from your neck down your breasts and your stomach until he started to lower himself to his knees. A shiver ran down your spine as you could feel him grabbing your legs to push them over his shoulders and move his head so close to your middle that you could feel his hot breath ghosting over your flesh. Slowly but surely you could feel Negan’s lips trailing along your inner thighs, his rough beard brushing against them until you could finally feel the warmth of his mouth meeting your middle and a low groan vibrated against your sensitive flesh. A small gasp left your mouth as you felt him dragging his tongue along your core, humming deeply as he tasted you and you could feel the heat within you growing hotter as it pooled in your body’s depth. The sensation of his rough beard and his soft lips and tongue made you wince in pleasure as he worked on you, moving one of his hands towards your hot flesh to send more waves of heat through you. Tipping your head back, you felt his long fingers teasing over your clit, before his thumb moved in firm, circling movements over the sensitive numb, enough to make your body tingle even more. Negan knew what you liked. Hell, Negan knew every little inch of your body and he surely knew how to use that for his advantage. In no time he turned you into a writhing mess as his fingers and tongue worked on you and you found yourself grabbing his hair as your body started to tremble, filled up with heat and pleasure. Softly moaning you met your hips gently in rhythm with his movements until could feel an uneasy sound fall from his lips as his deep voice vibrated against your flesh ,”Fuck, I can’t wait anymore...shit, I’m rock hard.” “Then take me”, it slipped from your lips, your body eager to feel just any touch from him, feel his tongue or his lips, or feel him thrust deeply into you. Negan was quick back on his feet, a wicked look on his face as you whined in response to the loss of his touch, though you got quickly rewarded as you rose your head just enough to see him pulling his clothes from his body. Step by step you could see more of him, his toned body, the dark hair that peppered his chest and the trail that down his pants that got you excited regardless how many times you’d already seen him undress. You could already see the large tent underneath his boxers as he pulled his pants from his body and tossed them to the side, grinning wolfishly before he brushed the very last piece from his body and revealed his throbbing erection. He was as rock hard as he’d said, precum already leaking from the tip as he stroked himself, enough to let the anticipation skyrocket within you. His eyes kept on roaming over your naked figure underneath his leather jacket as he moved in to grab your legs, pushing them up and leaning them against his shoulders as he moved between them, the wicked grin always on his face while your body started to tremble harder. His fingers were digging into your skin as one of his hands ran down to get a grasp of himself and lead himself closer, eliciting a sharp breath to fall from your lips as soon as you felt his tip pushing against your core. “Eyes on me”, you could hear him order lowly, enough to make your glance shoot towards him and just in the very moment your eyes met his, you felt him thrusting himself into you, hard and deep while your face twisted in pleasure. A loud moan fell from your lips as your eyes stayed fixed on Negan, his lips hanging open as he groaned deeply as he grasped both of your legs tightly. “That pussy was made for me, fuck”, he groaned, licking his lips as he started to rock himself into you and his thick brows tensed as his darkened eyes stared down on you as you twitched and writhed on his cock. His fingers were digging deeply into the flesh of your legs, so much that you were sure that he was leaving marks but you couldn’t care less, you just wanted to feel him. Whining in pleasure you could feel Negan pulling himself a little out of your heat only to plow himself right back into you, groaning loudly as his skin smacked against yours and his thick cock filled you up in the very best way possible “Fuck”, it fell from your lips as Negan rocked himself into you, allowing you to meet his harsh but rhythmic movements as your hands were moving to grasp the edges of the table, desperate to hold onto anything as his fast and hard thrusts made the wood shake underneath you. “Fuck, Negan...fuck this feels so good”, you called out, writhing and humming as his heavy thrusts made you shake a little more one after one, only to see how another grin spread over his strained face. “Oh I think I got a little treat for ya”, he growled and pushed himself harder into you, before one of his hands reached down to circle his thumb over the sensitive bundle of nerves, enough to make you throw your head back in pleasure. ”Oh my”, it fell in a gasp from your lips as you felt Negan’s thrusts and the movements of his fingers combining perfectly, bringing the mix of lust and pleasure within you to boil up even more than it already had. ”Good girl”, he growled, as you rocked your hips against his and played into his movements all while you gripped the table’s edges harder, feeling your body heating up even more as Negan’s thrusts got harder and he put more pressure onto your clit, just enough to make your body shake more. You were starting to swing more in a trance, feel each of his touches even more intense than before. Feel his rough grasp on your leg, feel his rough thrusts, feel his fingers skilled movements over your clit and feel his scent and the feeling of the smooth leather of his jacket surround you. “Be my dirty girl and cum on my cock, baby. Cum on my fucking cock!”, Negan called out as you were growing closer to your high, thrust by thrust until he finally send you over the edge and let your orgasm wash over you as he fucked you through it. Heavily breathing you could feel your chest rising and falling quickly as you slowly started to recover, though you stayed stuck in this haze of pleasure as you saw Negan’s eyes looking over you, visibly enjoying seeing you writhe on his cock while your bare body was only surrounded by his leather jacket. The grin on his lips was wide as he finally let go of your clit and instead moved up to wrap his hand around the back of your neck, and pulled your still shaking body up to face him. “C’mere”, he growled, still keeping his movements going as you tried recollect yourself somehow and moved in to wrap your shaking legs around his hips, allowing him to thrust deeper. “Fucking hell”, he cussed out, his body tensing up as he rocked himself harder into you, stretching you out perfectly and hitting all the right spots as you moved your arms to wrap them around his neck, moaning and panting as you tried to meet his movements and give him the very same pleasure he had just given you. Glimpsing with a still hazy look in your eyes down, you watched him dragging himself back and forth into you before you felt his hands moving down to your hips, pushing you harder onto him as he moaned deeply. Taking the chance you leaned in to brush your lips over his neck and nipped on his heated skin, while more curses left his lips one by one. Reaching one of his hands up he grasped your jaw harshly, pulling you to his lips to he met you in a rough kiss that swallowed both of your moans and deep groans as Negan started to grow closer and closer. His thrusts grew harsher but sloppier, your kiss disrupted by his heavy pants that rumbled through his broad chest as his eyes found yours to keep them locked as he rocked himself harder into you. “Holy fuck...”, he groaned, pleasure written all over his face as his movements got faster and you allowed him to use you just the way he wanted right now until you finally felt him twitch deeply inside you. A shivering groan fell from his lips as he pulled himself just fast enough out of you, his body shivering harshly as he spilled himself over your stomach while the shocks of his orgasm rumbled through him. Panting his eyes fell from yours and fixed on his leatherjacket and your body that was covered in his cum, until he exhaustedly leaned against you, his forehead pressing against yours as you leaned in to cup his face and pressed a kiss over his lips. “Happy anniversary, Negan.”

9 days after Maggie’s arrival The afternoon sun fell brightly over Alexandria as you strolled through the infirmary, Negan’s handbook in one hand and a pen and Siddiq’s old notes about the herbs in your other as you headed towards the porch. You’d already started to work on the book a little during yesterday’s evening, but your small break now seemed like a good opportunity to continue with it. Rounding your last corner you peaked outside and saw Judith sitting at the end of the table on the porch, writing something while a couple pens were sprawled out around her. “Hey Jude”, you said with a smile as you moved outside, closing the door behind yourself as you nodded towards her,”Watcha doing?” “Homework...and I’m waiting for Lydia”, she sighed as she looked up from her paper before a small smile grew on her lips as she nodded towards the small lake on the other side of the road,”I like the view here, makes it easier to study.” “Oh that’s true, it’s real pretty here”, you said as you moved closer and nodded towards one of the free chairs diagonally from her,“Mind if I join?” Shaking her head she quickly moved some of the sprawled out pens closer to her to give you a bit more space before you sat down and laid stuff onto the table, just as something on the street caught your gaze. Tension washed over your body from one moment to another as you caught Maggie walking down the street, her son strolling right next to her as they chatted with each other. You tried to dart your glance quickly away from her but before you could her eyes met yours and let a shiver run down your back as the smile on her face turned into a frown within seconds. “What’s this?”, you suddenly heard Judith’s voice say, pulling you from Maggie’s stare as you glanced over at Judith and saw her pointing at the notebook, and though you knew that she was curious, the look in her eyes said more than 1000 words could. She was trying to distract you and you were going to let her. “Gonna be a handbook for all the herbs we use in here”, you said, quickly opening up the book to show her the pages that were filled with the dried herb samples- “Oh that’s nice”, she said, smiling brightly as she pointed at the dried comfrey leaf,”Can I?” Nodding, you watched her lean over and stroke her finger over the texture of the leaf, giggling as she fell back onto her chair, “Wow, that’s so cool.” “Gotta tell Negan that, he dried them”, you said with a chuckle just as her eyes fell on the street and she let out a small laugh. “Speaking of.” Turning your head you saw Negan strolling down the street towards the infirmary, ready to pick you up for your shift later this day while Lydia walked next to him. “Hey ladies”, Negan called out with quick wave and a grin as he reached the porch and nodded to Lydia next to him,”Found out we wanted to head to the same place.” “Hi”, Lydia said with a smile as she moved towards you, sat down across from you and set her book down on the table, smiling softly once more as you greeted her back and saw Negan plopping down on the chair beside her. “Think you could help me with a math problem?”, Judith finally asked as she reached for another slim book of hers and flipped through the pages as she glimpsed at Negan who quickly nodded. “Sure thing, lemme see”, he said, reaching his hand out for the book before Judith’s eyes fell on you as she nodded towards the book. “Or do you wanna?” “Nah I can pass on math”, you chuckled, watching Judith tilt her head a little before her glance bounced in between you and Negan. “But you’re not as long out of school as Negan.” “Hey, that’s not fair, that doesn’t mean shit”, Negan called out in the very next moment, a wide grin growing on his lips as nodded at you,”And she’s outta school for a long ass time too.” “Not as long as you”, Judith quickly countered, and a grin pressed over her lips ,”She’s still young. You’re old.” “Pff I’m not”, Negan defended himself, while another giggle fell from Judith’s lips. “Then why’s your beard so gray?” “Careful Miss Grimes, you’re gettin’ bold”, Negan called playfully out, pointing at her before he snatched the book with a thick laugh and a wide grin on his face from his fingers, just as you heard someone clearing his throat behind you. “Hey”, you heard Steve say as soon as you turned around to him, catching him leaning against the door as he nodded inside,”Can I talk to you for a moment?” Strolling behind Steve into the infirmary you already expected him to ask you for help with the tinctures or salves that he’d been mixing earlier but instead, he stopped by the counters and nodded outside to the porch where Negan and the girls still sat. “How about you take the rest of the day off? Negan too?” “I-”,you started, so surprised of him that you didn’t even really know what to say first, “I would love to but I don’t know if that would make a good impression.” “Day’s pretty, most have laid their work low today”, he said with a shrug, gesturing around the room,”Infirmary is quiet and honestly, Daniel’s working at the woodhouses today so I wouldn’t mind taking over Negan’s shift.” “Really?”, it fell from our lips with the same surprised tone as before, your eyes wide as you started at him and couldn’t quite belief his offer yet. He’d always belonged to the kinder people in Alexandria, those who were willing to give your husband a chance but this was still something big for you. “Really”, he confirmed while the look in his eyes softened a little,”I think you deserve a bit time off too...and I’ll vouch for Negan if anyone questions it.” With that he surprised completely once for all, so much that it had to be written all over your face since Steve let out a small chuckle and shrugged his shoulders. “I may have thought differently about him a couple years ago but...he’s done good”, he said, his hand rubbing over his blonde beard stubble as he glimpsed back at you ,”And Daniel had only good things to say about him. So go have a nice afternoon off with him.” “Thank you”, you breathed out, still staring startled at him as you gulped thickly ,”Really, I-” “All good”, he said with a nod as you found yourself lost at words for a moment before you started to collect yourself again. “If you need a shift covered to have time off with Daniel you’ll let me know too, alright?” “Sure”, he said with a smile, before he nodded outside where you could hear Negan laughing,”See you tomorrow.” Nodding you watched him move back upstairs where he’d been working just as you could feel the happiness his sudden offer had brought into you starting to feel real. Smiling to yourself you moved back over to the door, hearing Negan defending himself loudly. “Now that ain’t true! I make the best damn spaghetti!”, he called out just as you could peek through the door and see him nodding at Lydia and Judith ,”Y’know if you’re allowed, you can come over whenever you guys like and I’ll make ‘em for you. They’re the best!” “Barbara’s are pretty good”, Judith countered back, the grin on her lips pretty telling that she wanted to vex Negan. “Yeah”, you could see Lydia nod, a small grin on her face as well Negan let out a thick groan. “Not as good as mine!”, he defended himself again, though the playful look was still spread over his face as he caught you walking outside and pointed at you,“Tell them!” “He makes the best spaghetti, you should come over and try it”, you chuckled as you leaned yourself against the frame of the door and nodded at him,”I got some other good news too.” Quickly after finishing helping Judith with her math-problem you made your way back home, ecstatic to be able to spend your afternoon off together in your garden and use the beautiful weather outside to the fullest. Quickly, you switched into comfy clothes, got the sandwiches ready and prepared a comfy space outside with some thick blankets and pillows to cushion you from the grassy ground in the garden. Moving through the house you held two glasses of lemonade in your hands, made of an unopened can you’d found in the back of your pantry, the same one Negan had already loved years back. “I got a little surprise”,you said as you strolled down the porch’s stairs, grinning at Negan as he turned around from his spot on the blankets,”Was still unopened in the back of the cupboard.” “No way”, he called out, his eyes lightening up as he looked at the lemonade like a kid looked at their Christmas presents ,”Holy fuck.” Chuckling you handed Negan his glass, that he eagerly took into his hand and gulped the first sip of lemonade down. “God damn”, he called out, sighing contently as he looked down at the ,”This is like slurpin’ fucking sunrays.” Licking his lips he grinned at you as you let yourself fall next to him, sipping on your lemonade as well as Negan gestured to the sandwiches that were sprawled out over the big plate. “And now let’s get into this, I’m hungry as hell, ain’t gonna lie.”

Filled up till the rim you soon found yourself laying next to Negan, cuddled up into his side while you stared at the few clouds that travelled over the bright blue sky. Negan’s head was leaning against yours, his lips brushing against your forehead while his fingers stroke softly up and down your arm and content hums rumbled through his chest. “Fuck, this is all I wanna do tonight, just lay here all sprawled out”, his voice hummed against you as he pressed a soft kiss to your skin and nuzzled his nose into your hair.“ You don’t wanna cross off sex under the stars from your bucket list?”, you teased with a soft chuckle, hearing a small snicker fall from Negan’s lips before you could feel him slightly shaking his head. “Some other night”, he mumbled, pulling you a little closer as another sigh left his lips ,”Just wanna hold you and soak up some of that peacefulness.” “Sounds good”, you mumbled with a smile, moving in to press a kiss against his neck and you cuddled deeper into his warm embrace.

Minute for minute you enjoyed the moments with Negan outside, just relaxing and chatting while you sipped some more lemonade and watched the sun starting to move behind the treeline. The edges of the clouds gleamed brightly in the last light that got reflected onto them while the sun’s last breaths turned the sky into a beautiful mix of warm colors that melted into the blue. Smiling you glimpsed from the sky to the small daisy that you were twirling in between your Fingers, only one of the many that were sprawled out over the lawn. With a chuckle you propped yourself onto your elbow, glancing at Negan who glimpsed from the sky down at you with a curious look on his face. “Watcha doin?”, he chuckled as you leaned in to stick the daisy behind his ear, grinning as you watched his thick brows bounce up in surprise. “Just givin’ you a little makeover”, you chuckled, tilting your head bit to the side as you looked at him with a teasing grin,”Think you should wear daises more often, they really suit you.” “Well, what can I say?”, he snickered, shrugging his shoulders as the smirk on his lips grew a little wider ”I can rock any look.” “For sure”, you laughed, adjusting the flower so it wouldn’t lose its balance before you teased your fingers through his thick hair. “Makes me look really fucking intimidating, huh?”, he grinned, licking his lips as he narrowed his eyes playfully at you,”Shittin’ your pants already?” “Absolutely”, you snickered, nodding as you as Negan let out a thick laugh, the rumbling of his body enough to let the small flower slip from his ear again. “Ah shit”, he grumbled, reaching to the side of his head to grasp the daisy. He glimpsed at it for a second before he reached towards you and tucked the flower onto your ear. “Looks much better on you tho”, he chuckled, grinning softly as he looked over you and you shook your head with small laugh. “Pff I’m not so sure about that”, you snickered as you moved into cuddle up against him again, using his arm as your pillow as you looked back up into the sky. Your eyes roamed over the colors that seemed to flow into one another while the edges of light around the clouds turned from a vibrant, bright orange into a soft, milder one. “You’re such a sucker for sunsets”, you heard Negan chuckle beside you, tease swinging heavily through his voice as you glimpsed from the sky back over at him and let out a playful huff. “How can anyone not be a sucker for them?”, you chuckled as you glimpsed from your husband back up at the sky,”Really, I don’t know how that’s even possible.” Smiling your eyes swayed over the colors again, taking them in one by one, from the almost lavenderlike lilac,, to the soft pink to the warm orange. ”They’re some of the only things you can count on always being beautiful, no matter how awful everything gets. Same thing with those wildflowers”, you mumbled, sighing softly as you cuddled into to the cushions underneath your body, ”I know that sounds cheesy but they’re little reminders that not everything pretty is lost...i just-...I really like that.” You almost waited for Negan to say something, either agree with you or tease you a little more but instead, you could see him looking at you from the corner of your eyes, silently while you’d talked. Moving your head you found his hazel eyes traveling over your face, a loving, warm look stuck within them while a soft smile played around his lips. “Mhm?”, you hummed, almost waiting for him to say something but instead of hearing his voice, you saw him slowly moving in, grasping your face with one of his large hands before his lips met yours in a deep kiss. Sighing into him you kissed him back, feeling his soft lips caressing over yours while his beard stubble scrapped softly against your skin and his thumb stroke gently along your cheek. “Just fuckin’ love listening to you ramble all excited”, Negan finally mumbled as he let slowly go of his lips, though remained close as he gave you a grin,”You know that. I could hear you ramble ‘bout dog shit and I’d still listen.” Your smile mixed with a grin as you glimpsed up at him, still feeling his fingers brushing softly up and down the side of his face as he nodded at you. “So go on”, he grumbled with a grin while another chuckle fell from his lips,”I wanna hear more.” “About the dog shit or what?”, you mumbled back, watching a laugh fall from Negan’s lips as he moved his hand to give your waist a playful pinch. “’Bout the fuckin’ sunsets!” “Well this is not a complain, but you brought me out of my flow”, you mumbled, leaning up to peck his lips softly before you leaned back and watched him wink at you. “You’ll find back into it.”

You did. Somehow at least. You found yourself chatting and laughing with him while the sky turned more and more into a variety of purple and dark, lavish blue, revealing the stars the day had been hiding. Cuddled up underneath one of the blankets and enclosed in Negan’s warmth you were fully happy and peaceful, just happy about the present moment. Not thinking about the past, not worrying about the future.

11 days after Maggie’s arrival A yawn fell from your lips as you moved through the bathroom, massaging some moisturizer into your face’s tried skin as you stumbled through the door into the bedroom and found Negan already laying in bed, reading one of the books he’d taken from the farmhouse. “It’s good?”, you asked as you shut the lights down in the bathroom and closed the door behind yourself, watching as Negan’s glance quickly moved up from the pages. “Hell yeah”, he chuckled, nodding towards the book as he let out a small groan, “I need ya to read it when I’m done. Really, need someone to talk to about the fuckery that’s happening in here.” “Alright, I will”, you chuckled back, strolling over to the bed while Negan kept talking. “I mean the characters in here are awesome but fuck, there’s this one couple that’s just getting on my nuts”, he sighed as you moved in to crawl into the bed and slip underneath the warm sheets to him,”Kinda remind me of Sarah and that douchey guy from that trashy show.” “Chad?”, you asked, watching him snip his fingers as he let out a thick laugh. “Yep!”, he called out, snickering as you moved in to cuddle up into his side and allowed him to wrap his arm around you,”Fuck, it’s always’s a Chad, huh?” “Always”, you chuckled, sinking a little deeper into the cushions of the bed as you nodded towards the book, “You wanna tell me what they’re doing to be so awful?” “Don’t wanna spoiler you”, Negan grumbled, stopping for a moment as if he was pondering before he let out a sigh,”They’re just being annoying fucks all the time, fucking shit up for everyone else.” “Yeah, sounds a lot like Sarah and Chad”, you mumbled back, chuckling softly as you leaned in to nuzzle your head against his bare shoulder. “Done with the book for today?”, Negan asked, nodding towards the handbook that laid on your nightstand while you slowly nodded. “Yeah”, you mumbled, glimpsing at the book for a moment before you cuddled closer again,”Too sleepy to do more, don’t wanna write mistakes in there or mess it up with some sleepy messy handwriting.” A hum left Negan’s lips as he reached for his bookmark and slipped it between the open pages, shutting it before he laid it back onto his nightstand. “You don’t have to stop for me”, you mumbled, nuzzling your nose into his skin before you felt Negan moving over the mattress. “Mhm but I want to”, he mumbled, turning himself so he could roll onto his side, pull you closer against him and meet your lips in a slow kiss. Smiling against his lips you huddled up closer, running your hand up his chest until you could toy softly with his chesthair and hear a deep hum rumble up his throat. Sighing he slowly started to let go of you, moving his hand in to tease his thumb over your jaw while his eyes ran over your face. For a few moments it was quiet and you just found yourself glancing at him, your eyes running over his handsome face, those puppy eyes and the salt and pepper beard that was just slightly longer than usual before he thickly gulped. “How long do you think this all will go well?”, he finally spoke out, his voice heavy as he bit his lip. “Each time I only see her from afar I feel like she’s more tense...no matter how much she tries to ignore me ”, he added, sighing heavily as he shook his head slightly,”Like some fucking vulcano that’s gonna break out at some point.” “I don’t know”, you finally whispered truthfully, swallowing heavily as you tried to find no let any of your fears get the best of you,”I just know that we’ll deal with it...like we’ve done with everything else” Your voice was quiet but hopeful as you glanced up at him, your fingers moving from his chest to his face as you softly ran your fingertips through his beard, just in the very same way that usually made him relax “And Carol still has to hold up her end of the bargain, she told me she would. She’s been in and out of Alexandria for the last couple days but if I see her next time, I’ll make sure to remind her of what she said to me”, you said, stopping your soft movements for a moment as you made sure to keep his eyes looked onto yours. “We’ll find a way”, you mumbled, before a small sigh slipped from your lips as you cuddled closer into his embrace,”I don’t know how yet but we will, this is our home and I wanna build our future here...I’m not giving up on that.”

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whatareyousearchingfordean · 5 years ago

Text

Come As You Are

Summary: Dean takes Y/n dress shopping for a hunt, both of them blissfully unaware of where it will lead.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 3.9K+

Warnings: Language, self-esteem and body image struggles, public intercourse, unprotected intercourse (wrap it before you tap it)

Author’s Note: This was written for an anonymous request,

“Hey babe I don’t know if your taking requests but I had a groovy idea dean x shy plus reader where they have to get the reader nice sexy clothes but she feels really uncomfortable in them and refuses to leave the dressing room and dean confess how he feels and they have sex in the dressing room ? Fluff and smut”

I truly enjoyed writing it so I hope it lives up to your expectations anon. Remember, feedback is like crack to writers, and we always love to hear what you thought xoxo Alex

Consider checking out a book from Alexandra’s Library!

A frown etched itself on her face as she ran her hand over the fabrics hanging from the racks. All of it felt foreign underneath her fingertips. Satin, chiffon, and everything else that was far more expensive than she was used to. Y/n’s wardrobe mostly consisted of denim and polyester blends that tended to fray after two washes. It was all that a hunter could afford, after all.

“How in the hell are we gonna afford any of this crap?” She whispered to Dean, who was eyeing the rack behind her, the gowns in front of him all a deep shade of red.

“Charlie’s miracle card, remember? There is no limit,” Dean raised his brow at her, a grin etched across his perfect face.

“Fine,” she groaned. “I still don’t see why I even need to go dress shopping, I’m sure I could find something in my closet.”

“I’ve seen your closet, and none of it is right for this case. You’ve got to distract the coroner for the night and you can’t do that in baggy jeans and flannel.” Dean huffed as he picked a dress off the rack. Y/n’s eyes went wide as she took it in, the hem was short for anyone’s standards, then add in the plunging neckline and this dress left nothing to the imagination.

“That is so not happening,” Y/n pointed at the offensive garment, her stomach fluttering at the simple idea of even trying to slip into it. Every spot on her body that she hated would be on full display in that thing. Her thick thighs, the roll that sat on her bra just under her arms, and don’t get her started on her abdomen.

“Come on, just try it. You never know ‘till you try it on.”

“Ugh,” Y/n snatched the dress from his hand before stalking off to look at more dresses. There were a couple more options that she grabbed to try on that were closer to her comfortability level. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t be caught dead in any of the items in her arms. But Dean had this way about him, always able to convince her to do anything without question. Maybe it was the way his skin crinkled around his eyes or the brightness that always seemed to live behind those deliciously green eyes? Who was she kidding, it was all of that and then some. The huntress had fallen hard for him from that first meeting. Sometimes she wondered why she chose to torture herself.

Dean Winchester was the cream of the crop when it came to hunters, as was his baby brother, Sam. The whole world knew who they were, including heaven and hell, so how could she be expected to resist him when he smiled at her the way he does. Or even when he made her coffee in the mornings just how she liked it and picked up chocolate and pain killers for her when he knew it was that time of the month. He was exceedingly attentive to her, something that she was sure he only directed at Sam. It was just another thing that surprised her about the legend of a man.

Yeah, like an idiot she fell for the eldest Winchester. There was no stopping it even though she was certain that her feelings would never be reciprocated. Y/n wasn’t like the other woman that Dean went for when he was on the prowl at bars. It’s not that she was ugly, it was that she was plain at best. People didn’t turn their heads when she walked in the room, men’s gazes didn’t linger on her from across the bar, no, Y/n was merely average. That’s how she knew that Dean would never see her as more than a friend because he had never looked at her in any form of want.

“Are you ready to try those on?” A sales woman’s voice broke her out of her unrelenting train of thought. Dean answered for her before she could process the woman’s words.

“Yes, please.” He smiled brightly and Y/n watched as the woman’s face flushed under his gaze. Y/n almost felt bad for the woman who was now just another victim to his charm. The saleswoman at least would be able to relish in his attention, wondering about what could have been had Y/n not been there with him. Y/n on the other hand already knew her fate. But mostly, if she was being honest, she was jealous.

Dean put his hands on her shoulders and guided her along behind the boutique worker who took them into the back of the store where the dressing rooms were located. The area was mostly quiet, just the music from the speakers could be heard in the space. Three large mirrors sat in front of a stage on the far wall, the rooms spaning out on either side of it. In the center of the room were three plush chairs for those waiting for others to sit in.

The worker unlocked a door for her as Dean plopped down in one of the chairs. Y/n slipped behind the door, letting out a deep breath as it closed behind her. If there was one thing she hated it was trying on clothes. Nothing ever seemed to fit her right or look anything like what it did on the hanger. It made the task a constant battle with her self-consciousness.

Y/n had always carried extra weight on her body. It wasn’t that she didn’t live an active lifestyle, she was a hunter, after all, it was the diet that hunters were accustomed to. It was fast food and dives in every small town in America. Not many mom and pop places tended to offer an egg white omelet, and it wasn’t her inclination to eat them either. So, she had always been bigger than most, and if she was being honest she had grown used to that. Maybe she used it as a shield to protect herself. Making connections with people as a hunter only tended to end in heartbreak, so this was easier.

The hunter hid the scary red thing Dean had selected behind all the rest of her haul, hoping she would find something before she ever even got to the thing. Y/n stripped from her flannel and jeans tossing them on the bench in the corner. She also added her bra to the pile, knowing all of these garments necessitated that she did not wear one. That left her in her favorite pair of panties. They weren’t anything special, but they made her butt looked its best.

The first dress in the line up was a straight black dress that hit just above her knee. The neckline wasn’t anything too crazy but the sleeves rolled off the shoulders a strip of fabric wrapping around her bust. Y/n was able to slip it on and tug up the zipper on the side. With a slide of her hands against the fabric, she frowned at her reflection. Not that it would flatter any figure, in her opinion.

“What’s taking so long in there?” Dean called out from his spot in front of the mirrors.

“I’m not coming out in this thing,” she called back as she began to take the dress back off.

“Oh, come on sweetheart,”

“Nope, next,” Y/n heard him huff even through the door and she imagined he rolled his eyes as well.

The next dress was a deep blue color. It had a wrap and pencil skirt, with an asymmetrical shape between the hem and the neckline. She supposed it was pretty but it also kind of looked like she had wrapped herself in a towel. Mostly, she felt like the point in the neckline was going to stab her in the throat, and she was not sure how to be sexy when she was trying not to die. It was another pass for her.

There was only one dress left, and at that moment she was wishing to whoever was listening that she had picked out a few more choices. Dean was whistling now, some Zeppelin tune she couldn’t exactly identify and she knew he was getting impatient. Y/n swapped the fabrics on her body, pulling the thin straps of the red satin piece up onto her shoulders. The dress clung to her skin, the fabric lightweight.

“Y/n/n,” Dean’s voice was just outside the door, the new proximity of it startling her. “Come on, you have to show me at least one. I know you and you’ll just try vetoing them all.” Y/n swore under her breath because he was right and it pissed her off that he knew her that well. The zipper was out of her reach on her back and she supposed she wouldn’t be able to truly see what it looked like on her unless she zipped it up.

“Fine, I need help with this zipper anyway,” she sighed and held the fabric against her naked chest while opening the door with her other. Dean was beaming when he came into view on the other side of the door. He snuck inside faster than a flea, the slamming of the door startling her again.

Get it together woman, you kill monsters for a living, Y/n cursed herself.

“Turn,” Dean instructed her with his fingers, and the woman obliged as she faced the mirror. Dean brushed her hair off her shoulder with his fingertips, the action barely distinguishable but it sent the hairs on the back of her neck standing to attention. With one hand holding the bottom stop, he used the other to tug on the pull tab, sliding together the teeth in one fluid motion.

“Thanks,” Y/n’s words were soft as she made eye contact with the green-eyed hunter in the mirror. He ran his tongue of his bottom lip, pulling the plump flesh between his teeth as his eyes wandered over her exposed skin.

Y/n visibly cringed as she looked at herself. Unfortunately, this was her favorite out of the three, but that didn’t mean she felt like she could venture anywhere in public in the thing. “Sweetheart, if that coroner hadn’t already been eyeing you up today, he would not know where to start when he sees you in this.”

“Shut up,” Y/n scrunched her nose as she spun around to whack Dean’s shoulder. “You are so full of it.”

“Am not,” Dean scoffed, his eye softening before he continued. “Y/n, why don’t you see how beautiful you are?”

Y/n whipped around to stare at him, her arms crossing over her chest, not believing that those words come out of his mouth. Surely, he was playing with her…

“Have you looked at me, Dean?” Y/n slapped her hands against her thighs, emphasizing their jiggle upon impact. “I’m nothing special.”

“I have looked at you,” His gaze traveled down her body again, his breath hitching slightly as he did so. “I’ve been looking at you for a while now.” The drop in Dean’s voice sent heat rushing through her body, the gravel undertone making her shiver.

“Dean--” words escaped her as the hunter stepped into her personal space, pushing her back against the mirror. Dean’s left hand came to rest against the reflective surface just beside her head as he chewed on his lip.

“I don’t think you know how hard it is for me to keep my eyes off of you,” he leaned into her, his nose brushing alongside hers. “And now, seeing you in this dress, I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my hands off you.”

A rush of confidence coursed through her blood as his hot breath fanned over her face and Y/n slipped her hands behind his neck, pulling his lips down to meet hers. The movement was anything but smooth, though the action sent both of the hunters into action. Dean growled as he nipped her lower lip and she opened up to him, allowing his tongue to invade her mouth.

A moan involuntarily came from her as his hands moved to her hips, the heat of his skin seeping through the thin material where his finger pressed into her flesh. He stepped back, pulling her after him as he backed up and dropped to sit on the plush bench. Dean bunched up the material to her hips as he urged her to straddle his lap. Y/n used her hands on his shoulders to steady herself, the new bulge in his pants a surprise to her as she settled in his lap.

“Yeah, and you thought I was kidding,” Dean took in the slight rise in her brow, leaning forward to run his lips across her jaw, taking note of the places that made her shiver. Her eyes were squeezed shut as she allowed Dean to explore her body and let herself just feel him. Dean raked his teeth along with the shell of her ear, causing her to buck her hips and both of them to groan.

“Fuck,” her words were a breath on her lips as she repeated the action, the roughness of his jeans just enough friction on her aching sex.

“That’s it, beautiful, take what you need,” Dean sat back and used his hands to keep her body moving against his own, watching the way her brows scrunched together in the center of her forehead. With a shift of his hips, he had her pushed back and straddling his left thigh, his hands still in their place on her hips. “Can you come like this, sweetheart?”

“I don’t--” a jolt of electricity had her halting her denial, instead she chose to just nod and place her hands against his chest to balance her movement. She could feel Dean’s heart hammering in his chest under her palm and the quick rise and fall of his breath. Even at this moment, she was disbelieving that he was that turned on watching her get herself off on his thigh, but she had the proof hammering under her fingertips. Y/n was biting her lip to keep quiet in the small room. “Dean, I’m so close.”

“I’ve got you, come for me, Y/n,” he husked as his grip tightened, though she wasn’t sure how that was even possible, seeing as there was already gonna be bruises there later, that she was sure of. The sound of his voice reverberating in her head had the coil snapping inside of her, heat flooding her body as every nerve sparked and faded out. A rush of air left her lungs, her body slumping as her muscles relaxed post-orgasm.

“Oh my god.” As her arousal ebbed from her body and the reality of what just happened came to her sense, Y/n clammed up and she tried to climb from his lap. Blood rushed to her face and her hands flew to her cheeks to hide the heat settling there.

“Woah, where are you going?” Dean stopped her from making a hasty exit, his eyes searching hers in question.

“Dean, what the hell just happened?”

A smirk replaced the confusion on his face as he leaned forward and nuzzled his face in her neck, tracing his tongue up her pulse. “You just got yourself off on my thigh while I tried not to cream my jeans,” he breathed in her ear. It was like he already knew every button to push on her body, his dirty talk doing everything she needed it to for her body to already be aching for him again.

“I--”

“Shh, sweetheart. That was hot as fuck, and all I want now is to be buried deep inside that pretty pussy of yours.”

“Jesus,” her eyes shifted to his, taking in the mischievous glint shining behind his iris. “You aren’t kidding.”

“Nope,” he popped the ‘p’ at the end of his word and Y/n nodded as she climbed off him. She turned her back to him so he could undo the zipper, and it took a second for Dean to catch on to her silent action. He jumped to the edge of the bench and tugged down the zipper before sliding the material down her shoulders. Dean hooked his fingers into the edge of her panties, placing a kiss on the dip in her lower back before pulling the soaked material to pool at her feet along with the dress. He stood then as she turned back to him and pushed his jacket and flannel down his arms, adding it to the pile of discarded clothes in the room.

“Come, on we don’t have a lot of time before someone gets suspicious.” There was a quiver in her voice as she lifted the hem of his tee and tugged open his belt. It was taking everything in her to quell the shaking in her hands. Dean’s fingers came down to wrap around her wrists, halting her movement and she looked up at him.

“Y/n we don’t have to,” he was trying to read her mind as he examined her face. The trepidation was seeping through her pores, but not because she didn’t want this. Hell, the painful ache between her legs told her how much she wanted this, but her brain couldn’t help to race through the million thoughts about what it all meant.

“No, I-- God do I want this,” Y/n began chewing on the inside of her cheek as she tried to come up with the words to explain to him what she was thinking. But the longer the time passed the more nervous she grew, standing there stark naked and he’s still basically fully dressed. “I think I’ve wanted this for a long time now, but I’m just scared.”

“Of?” He urged her to continue.

“That this doesn’t mean the same thing to you,” Y/n cast her glance down, her eyes fixated on the way the fluorescent light glinted in the metal of his belt.

“You think that this is about getting my dick wet for me.” It wasn’t a question, because she had all but spelled it out for him. “Y/n,” He put his fingers under her chin and turned her head back up to his, brushing his lips against hers, the action soft and unhurried. “I told you, I’ve been watching you for a while now, trying to learn everything I could about you. I would have done this the first night I met you if I hadn’t thought about what it would do to you. But I’m done being scared because I think I fell for you a long time ago and no amount of whiskey or other women could make me forget that. So I’m done fighting it.”

“Yeah?” Her eyes were swimming with unshed tears now, and Dean answered her with another kiss, pulling her body flush against his own as he invaded her mouth. The pair only pulled apart when they could no longer fight the need for air. “Dean--”

“Yeah,” he breathed, dropping his grip on her to finish what she started with his belt. Y/n watched his movements, her breath getting caught in her throat as she watched him pull his length from its cotton confines. Dean signaled for her to turn with one hand as he stroked himself with the other. She obliged, of course, and Dean pushed her gently between her shoulder blades until her hands were pressed against the mirror. He nudged her legs to open a tad wider, meeting her gaze in the mirror.

“Do we--”

“I’m good if you’re good,” she told him, knowing where he was going with his question. He nodded to her before lining himself up with her entrance. Dean held her gaze as he entered her from behind, both of them sighing together as he became fully seated. Y/n closed her eyes as she tried to compose herself, her head falling between her arms.

“Fuck, open your eyes, look at yourself,” Dean was biting his tongue as he swatted her ass to get her to lift her head again. She indulged him, looking at herself in the mirror before turning her eyes back to his in the mirror. “There you go,” he praised her, the words like music to her ears as he pulled back out and slammed into her hips.

Dean set up a steady rhythm, careful to not shake the walls of the dressing too much with his movement. The couple kept their eyes on each other in the mirror, the moment the most erotic thing she could ever remember doing, but for the life of her, she couldn’t be bothered by it. Even from her vantage point, she could see how blown his pupils were, the black of his iris’ all but drowning out the green that she loved so much. To be honest, she wasn’t sure which she liked more now. All she did know was the feeling of him moving inside her and the way her muscles were shaking.

A small knock had Dean stilling his movements, and Y/n stood up, pressing her back against his chest. He slipped an arm around her chest as she signaled for him to be silent. “You doing alright in there?”

Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat and let out a breath, “Yeah,” she called back, afraid her voice would be too wrecked if she said anything else.

“Is there anything else I can get you? Maybe some different sizes?” The saleswoman tried again.

“Nope, I’m all set, thank you.”

“Okay, just let me know.” The sound of her footsteps could be heard retreating from the dressing room, and Dean pressed his face into her neck, the pair of them chuckling.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he adjusted their position, resuming the movement of his hips as he snaked his free hand down to rub against her clit. Y/n jolted in his arms at the contact, this time closing her eyes as he built her back up. “I’m right behind you. Can you come for me again?” Y/n nodded against him, her hands flying to his forearm as she felt herself jumping over the cliff, her mouth open in a silent scream. Her knees buckled and Dean had to adjust himself to keep her from falling, still fucking her from behind as her fluttering walls milked him to his own orgasm. He bit into her shoulder to keep himself from groaning out loud.

“Sweet Jesus,” her body went limp in his arms as the pair of them caught their breath in the now muggy space.

“Yeah, you are so not going out with that coroner tonight. We will find a different way.” Dean admitted as he pulled his now softening cock from her. Y/n flinched at the feeling and the subsequent rush of his release inside her.

“What?” She turned to him as he began righting himself, not understanding why he didn’t want her to do her job.

“‘Cause you are all mine now,” Dean tugged her into his chest, his fingers around one of her biceps. “And I want to spend all night making sure you can’t walk tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Dean laughed as she blinked at him, clearly lost for any sort of coherent answer to what he just told her.

“Get dressed so we can get out of here and kick Sammy out of our motel room.” Dean tapped her ass again and she pushed him away from her, a stupid grin on both of their faces.

Forevers: @22sarah08 @akshi8278 @anathewierdo @atc74 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @callmekda @dawnie1988 @deanwanddamons @ellewritesfix05 @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @janicho88 @jensengirl83 @katehuntington @lyarr24 @malfoysqueen14 @mrsjenniferwinchester @msmarvelouswinchester @polina-93 @sleepylunarwolf @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @smol-and-grumpy @superfanficnatural @supraveng @talesmaniac89 @tranquility-or-chaos @waywardbeanie @winchest09

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x plus size reader #dean winchester x plus sized reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fic #dean winchester smut #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fic #spn fanfic #spn fic #spn #supernatural #mine #alex writes #come as you are

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vibrant-leaf · 4 years ago

Text

Therapy is Manly

Part two.

🧡 ~KiriBaku Fic~ ❤️

Summary: The happy ending to part one of this breakup/makeup fic! Many months later, Bakugou finally tries again. The link to the song that inspired me to write this whole thing is at the bottom. And here is a link to part one if you haven't read that yet. Enjoy!

Word Count: 4032

Warnings: cursing, very little angst, suggestive tones but nothing explicit

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10 months later…

No way. There is absolutely no fucking way that Bakugou’s going to let anyone lay a single finger on Kirishima if he’s there to help it. He understands Kirishima’s strength and knows he can take care of himself easily. But he also knows that Kirishima doesn’t have eyes in the back of his head. So when some dumbass villain decides it’s a brilliant idea to try and go for Red Riot’s back when he’s already busy with another villain, Dynamight’s eyes instantly lock onto his target before he’s charging and yelling at him and proceeds to blow the villain back a solid one hundred- ope no he’s still going- two hundred yards. Sure, he could’ve held back just a tad but that’s what the fucker gets so, oh well.

Kirishima‘s able to look over in the direction of the poor soul who’s knocked out in the next town over when he finally gets a hold of the villain in front of him, and his mouth hangs open as his eyes grow wide. “Damn… that was manly.”

The fight in the streets finally comes to a close and a random reporter tracks down the great up-and-coming hero, Dynamight, before he’s able to escape the scene. Kirishima can see Bakugou roll his eyes before he faces the reporter with an unamused look on his face. And just like the press, the smile that spreads across Kirishima’s face is unavoidable.

“Hey, Dynamight!” Kirishima feels nervous but he forces himself to walk up to Bakugou after the reporter disappears to go talk to another hero.

It’s been ten whole months since Kirishima last talked to his ex-boyfriend. Graduation was eight months ago, which was the last time he saw him in person. He thinks back to that happy day when the whole class was gathered in the yard in front of U.A., just freshly graduated, and two pairs of red eyes meet within the joyful chaos that was surrounding them. They didn’t look away, they held their gaze, and they smiled at each other. Graduation was a day of celebration, a day to feel hopeful about the future, and at that moment, they both felt a small spark of hope ignite for their future together.

Kirishima is brought back to the present when he looks at Bakugou’s arms, and he wonders if his muscles were that big before because damn… those look manly.

Bakugou hears the familiar, cheery voice call out to him and he instantly realizes that hearing that voice in person is a lot better than hearing it through his phone when he watches interviews of Red Riot. Yes, he realizes that he’s indulging in what he absolutely hates, but those interviews serve as necessary reminders of what he’s going to therapy for alright? He has found that they especially help right after a tough session when he’s feeling like shit.

The scowl on Bakugou’s face relaxes when Kirishima walks up next to him.

“Thanks again for the save back there! That was… really manly, even though you probably didn’t have to blast him that far!” Kirishima laughs a little awkwardly.

“Just be more careful next time, Eij- Shitty-Hair. And that asshole deserved it.”

“Whatever you say, man!” After a couple of tense and silent seconds pass by, Kirishima glances off to the side and his hand reaches up to rub the back of his neck. “Sooo… how have you been doing?”

Bakugou knows what he’s really asking him, and he wants to tell him. He wants to tell him everything, pour out all of the contents of his heart onto this gorgeous man standing in front of him, but there were still people around them. “Fan-fuckin-tastic.” Kirishima’s faint chuckle makes Bakugou’s heart stir. This opportunity was really being handed to him on a silver platter, wasn’t it? For a few weeks, he’s been thinking about reaching out to Kirishima but had no clue how to go about it. He wasn’t exactly comfortable with texting him out of the blue after so long but right here was a golden opportunity for him. So, in sheer fuck it fashion he gets straight to the point, “are you seeing anyone right now?”

Kirishima is taken aback by the sudden question. “Uh.. no. No, I’m not.” A few people have asked him out over the past ten months and he’s told them all no. Saying that he wasn’t exactly emotionally available at the moment. While Kirishima did in fact heal from what happened between him and his love so many months ago, he was still holding onto the hope of getting back together with him. Sure, he could have tried to go out on a couple of dates but it wouldn’t have been fair to the other person if he was just wishing he was with Bakugou the whole time.

Kirishima’s heartbeat starts to quicken. Why the hell did Bakugou ask him if he was seeing anyone? Was he finally ready? Was he going to ask him if he wanted to try again? Kirishima was holding his breath now, waiting for Bakugou to say something.

Bakugou keeps tapping his thumb on his thigh. What if Kirishima says no? What if he’s completely over him and realizes he doesn’t want him anymore? He shakes his head a little to get rid of the thoughts that are trying to poison his brain. Bakugou looks at Kirishima square in the eyes. “Do you want to come over to my place for dinner tonight?”

A wide, closed-lip smile spreads across Kirishima’s face and Bakugou wonders how a simple smile like that can be so full of light.

“I’d love to.”

Bakugou feels like screaming in victory, but of course, he keeps his cool. “Great. Seven o’clock. I’ll text you my address.”

“Okay!” Excitement sparkles in Kirishima’s eyes and Bakugou’s really starting to have trouble keeping calm.

“Okay.. see ya then.” Bakugou chews on the inside of his cheek. “Gotta blast-” and he did just that; stepping back and blasting up into the air… as well as immediately regretting those last two words. Gotta blast? GOTTA BLAST?! What the fuck?! When he lands on top of a building, the embarrassment fizzles out of his body, and instead, he feels so incredibly excited that he can’t help but scream at the top of his lungs. “FUCK YEAH!”

Apparently, Bakugou didn’t fly far enough away because Kirishima could clearly hear his mini-celebration off in the distance. His chest flutters and heat rises to his face as he lifts his hand to the back of his neck again and lets out an embarrassing little giggle.

Seven o’clock approaches way too fast but also way too slow at the same time. It’s really fucking weird how time passes when you’re incredibly anxious about something.

Bakugou is plating their dinner as Kirishima is riding the elevator to the top floor of the apartment complex. They’re both sweaty and feel like their hearts are about to burst out of their chest at any given moment, and Bakugou’s almost does when he hears a knock on his door. He takes a deep, centering breath through his nose before walking over to let Kirishima inside.

The door opens and both men look at each other.

Kirishima’s hair is a little longer than it was ten months ago, and with it down it just easily goes past his shoulders, and Bakugou can easily see the black roots that are starting to grow in. His shitty hair is really throwing Bakugou through a loop right now. He wants to run his hands through it and pul- nope, nope, no. Pure thoughts. Pure thoughts only. Then, suddenly, Bakugou is hyperaware of his presence because, holy shit, Kirishima is here, he’s here for Bakugou, at Bakugou’s apartment.

Kirishima on the other hand isn’t doing super swell either. He wasn’t prepared for the navy blue dress shirt and dark grey pants Bakugou is currently wearing and gets a small sense of embarrassment from only wearing jeans and a striped button-up. “Uh.. sorry I didn’t dress up more,” he smiles awkwardly.

Bakugou smirks and cocks his head. “You think I’m not used to the way you dress Shitty-Hair?” Kirishima hums a laugh. “It looks nice, by the way.”

Kirishima’s eyebrows lift slightly. “Huh? What does?”

“You hair. The length. Your roots growing in. I don’t know, it looks nice or whatever.”

“Oh! Thanks! I’m trying to grow it out longer actually! I think it would look badass if it was really long, especially if I go Unbreakable!” The embarrassment vanishes from Kirishima, and Bakugou relaxes as he steps aside to let Kirishima in. They continue to talk about his hair, about the roots being a pain to redye, Bakugou reminding Kirishima that he’s willing to help him with that process, and Kirishima being so relieved at the offer because it really was easier and faster with Bakugou’s help after all.

Dinner goes on just like that. Talking and laughing about anything and everything: from good days on patrol to not-so-good days on patrol, raises, promotions, where Kirishima lives now, health issues…

“I think the hearing in my right ear is going to shit.” Bakugou picks at the remnants of his food he’s trying to stuff down.

“Oh really? You should probably get that checked out.”

“Nah, I’ll be fine. It’s just a pain in the ass sometimes.”

“Katsuki.” It’s the first time Kirishima uses his first name after all this time and it comes out so naturally. Bakugou has a faint blush on his cheeks from hearing it.

“...Fine. Whatever.”

“No, not whatever. You should really call a doctor so it doesn’t get worse-” Kirishima is ready to go on a long rant about how one should take care of their body and listen to any signs of trouble.

But Bakugou cuts him off. “If I say I’ll call them tomorrow will you drop it?”

“-body is a templ- oh… Only if you promise!” Kirishima is surprised at how easy it was to convince him with something like this since he used to hate going to Recovery Girl’s office at U.A.

Bakugou rolls his eyes. “I promise. And if you’re gonna say shit like ‘your body is a temple,’’’ he says mockingly, “then eat all the damn veggies I made you.”

Kirishima pretends to look offended and lets out an overly dramatic scoff. “The audacity you have to assume that I wasn’t going to!” He then proceeds to shovel all of the steamed vegetables that are leftover on his plate (which was about ninety percent of what he had to begin with and was the only thing on his plate at this point) into his mouth. Bakugou chuckles as he shakes his head at him.

They then go on to talk about more hero stuff and soon they’re comparing how many people and kids have asked them for their autographs. Kirishima has two more than Bakugou and even though he hates any prolonged interactions with fans he’s still kind of pissed.

“What?! Bullshit!”

“Nope. Not bullshit. Maybe if you didn’t look so mean and yell at everyone then more people would ask for your autograph.” Kirishima gives him a smug look.

Bakugou scoffs and crosses his arms. A weird silence falls upon them. “I’m… I’m getting better at that, by the way.” Kirishima’s eyebrows raise.

“Oh? Really?”

“Yeah, really. I better be at least, or else I would’ve been wasting my damn money on my therapist.”

“Well, that’s good to hear.” Kirishima smiles at him. “Are you still going?”

Bakugou gets up from the table, gathers their dishes, then walks to the sink. Kirishima understands, it’s tough, talking about this stuff, but isn’t that why he’s here in the first place? Then again, it’s Bakugou talking here, so he’ll give him all the time he needs. What’re a few more minutes compared to almost a year anyway? He walks over to the sink next to Bakugou. “I wash, you dry?”

“Sure.”

And they do just that. Washing, drying, and putting away the dishes with nothing but the sound of running water and clinking of dishes filling the air. They’re comfortable next to each other.

Once they’re done, Kirishima looks at the clock on the stove. It’s starting to get late already. They were talking for so long that now they didn’t have much time to talk about… that. Kirishima loved how easy and normal it felt to talk to Bakugou again but he needs to address the more important topic here. He doesn’t want this to be just a random visit and then they go back to not talking for another long of period time. But he also doesn’t want Bakugou to feel like he’s pushing him too much if it’s still too early yet. “I should probably head out soon.”

Bakugou can hear the sadness in his voice even if it is barely there from Kirishima trying to hide it, but nevertheless, he recognizes that tone. “I’m still going.” He sees Kirishima perk up a little. “It’s just… fucking hard. Who knew I’d be so damn difficult to fix. I’m better, I think, at least that’s what my therapist says. Even my parents noticed.” They’re both leaning back against the countertop in the kitchen with Bakugou’s arms crossed and Kirishima’s forearms resting on the countertop. In his peripheral, Bakugou sees Kirishima looking at him intently. He chews on the inside of his cheek. “But I’m still... Or I still... You know.”

“Yeah, I get it. You still have your moments. I’m the same way.” Kirishima continues when Bakugou looks gives him a confused look. “I started going too… figured my self-esteem and sense of self-worth could use some help. And just like you said, I’m doing a lot better, but I’ll still have my moments. I’ll have this voice in the back of my head trying to make me doubt myself again. Or when I got that promotion at Fat Gum’s agency I started feeling a little guilty. Thought someone else probably deserved it more than me-”

“Tch, like who?”

Kirishima shrugs. “Anyone, really. I know, I know, it’s dumb, but I definitely don’t think that way now. And… I realize… back when we were together in school… I shouldn’t have let you off the hook so easy after the way you’d treat me. I was just afraid you would see me as weak if I were to get too upset over something you said and then you’d dump me because you’d realize you didn’t want to be with someone who was weak.”

“I could never see you as weak, Eijirou. You are one of the strongest people I know if not, the strongest. I could see the look on your face when I said those things to you and it terrified me. I thought that if I could make you out of all people feel like shit, then I really was a fucking terrible human being… I was scared of myself... And I was scared of what I was doing to you.”

Bakugou is looking directly into Kirishima’s eyes as he lets the words fall out of his mouth. He’s thought about what exactly he would say to Kirishima when they would talk about this. But what he’s saying now isn’t like any of the rehearsed lines he’s gone over multiple times in his head, he’s simply letting his heart speak for him. It was so easy too. With Kirishima talking about his thought process from back then first, it felt natural to follow his lead and open up about what he was thinking back then too.

Bakugou takes a deep breath. “I… I truly believe I’m better now, despite having the rare occasional outburst. But it’s not almost every single day that I’ll lash out at people. I’m still me, but I’ve gotten better at apologizing, learning after I make a mistake, and not being so fucking stubborn all the time. So… I know that this time, I’ll be able to love you the right way. The way you deserve to be loved.”

Kirishima swallows the lump in his throat that’s starting to form. He’s so fucking proud of Bakugou and he’s even proud of his own progress he’s made. Kirishima can see the determination on Bakugou’s face.

Bakugou shifts a little to face him more as he looks up at him. “Eijirou… If you want to and if you’re a hundred percent sure about it… I want to try this again. Try us again. I can’t promise I won’t mess up from time to time but I can promise that I’ll never call you useless again. Fuck, I’m still sorry about that. I regretted it the second it came out of my mouth, I don’t know why-”

“Katsuki.” Bakugou stops his rambling when Kirishima touches his shoulder. “I forgive you.”

Bakugou’s shoulders relax from the tension that was building up from remembering his mistake that caused everything to go down the way it did.

Kirishima continues to speak. “And, yes, I want to try again too.” Kirishima can actually see Bakugou’s face light up and it’s the cutest damn thing to him and he really wants to kiss him right now.

“You’re a hundred percent sure?”

“Yes, a hundred percent. I want it more than anything in the world. I want you back in my life.”

A hint of worry falls back onto Bakugou’s face. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the least bit scared. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“Katsuki. I’m not made of glass bones and paper skin. I can handle a slip-up from time to time, okay? And I promise that I’ll be better at holding you more accountable.”

“Punch me in the fucking face if you have to.”

“Um, no. I’d rather not end up like that villain today when you blasted him into next week.”

Bakugou laughs proudly at the mention of the scum bag that tried to hurt his beloved earlier that day.

Kirishima smiles back at Bakugou and pulls him in for a hug. He really can’t help himself, he needs to touch him again.

Their hug starts off light but it quickly morphs into the type of embrace that makes them grasp onto each other like a lifeline. Kirishima’s arms are wrapped around Bakugou’s neck as his face is buried into the side of his hair. Bakugou is squeezing Kirishima’s torso and his face is digging into his shoulder. They breathe in each other’s scents. The hug and the nostalgic smell of each other are immensely relieving. This is where they belong. Together. In each other’s arms. And it feels like home.

For a while, they stay like this. Simply enjoying every second of being physically and emotionally connected again.

“I missed you so fucking much,” Bakugou breathes out against Kirishima’s shoulder.

Kirishima wants to talk but his throat is starting to burn and his lips are wobbling, so he just nods first to collect himself before replying, “I missed you too.”

Bakugou squeezes him even tighter. “It’ll be better this time, I promise. I fucking swear, okay Eijirou?” He lifts his head to look into Krishima’s glistening eyes.

Kirishima nods again and lets out a shaky, “okay.”

“And I’m never letting you go, ever again…” Bakugou glances off to the side with a look of guilt and pain, “cause that was fucking terrible.”

“Yeah…” Kirishima takes a deep breath, blinks back the tears that almost spilled out of his eyes, and swallows the lump in his throat. “Longest ten months of my life.” He can see the look of shame fall heavier in Bakugou’s eyes. “But, we both needed it. So… thank you for being strong enough to let us go so we could work on ourselves for a bit.” Bakugou still doesn’t look as relaxed as Kirishima wants him to be, so he places a hand on the side of Bakugou’s face and it makes him look directly at Kirishima. “It still might be difficult from time to time, but growing together is just as important too.” Kirishima softly smiles down at the man he would do anything for.

A blush grows quickly on Bakugou’s cheeks as his eyebrows finally relax. He’s transfixed by the way Kirishima is looking at him so he can only answer with a simple nod. And Kirishima must have a vendetta against him because this gorgeous fucker makes his brain malfunction even more by leaning down to lightly press his lips against Bakugou’s. If butterflies were fluttering in his stomach before, then they were setting off explosions now.

It feels like their first kiss all over again. How is that possible? Neither of them know, but neither of them question it. Instead, they relish in the familiar touch of the other’s lips against their own and they both gain a sense of confidence that they’re going to be just fine.

Once they separate, they slowly open their eyes before pressing their foreheads together. A moment of peaceful silence falls upon them.

In the softest voice he can manage, as if any other tone would ruin the moment between them, Kirishima reluctantly utters, “it’s getting a little late… you want to meet up again tomorrow?” Bakugou affirms him with a nod before letting go and walking him to the door. Kirishima puts a hand on Bakugou’s hip and they exchange one more sweet peck. And then Kirishima gets a smug look on his face.

“Well, gotta blast, Katsuki!” Kirishima waves as he walks out the door.

“Oh my god, shut up!” Bakugou slams the door loud enough that it most likely annoys some of his neighbors.

Kirishima laughs and is about to walk away when he hears the door reopen along with a faint, “Oi.” He turns his head to gaze upon a red-faced Bakugou.

“....I love you, Eijirou.” Bakugou worries that he said it too grumbly before Kirishima instantly blinds him with one of his signature toothy grins.

“I love you too, Katsuki!” No one, absolutely no one, can compete with the amount of happiness Kirishima is full of now. The love of his life, declaring his love for him once again, sparks so much joy in Kirishima’s heart, he’s tempted to go on the roof of a building to scream, FUCK YEAH!

Bakugou allows a little smile to slip on his face and he closes the door once more. The smile grows even wider as he leans back against his door, and that’s when he feels it again: the magnetic force that’s pulling him to his favorite person in the entire world. And for the second time today he thinks, “fuck it,” swings his door open yet again, and marches right over to the redhead before he can reach the stairs.

Kirishima turns around in part surprise and part worry, and he’s about to question Bakugou until his hand is being snatched up and he’s being pulled into the apartment. “Uh- Ka-Kats- I’d love to stay longer but I have to wake up early tomorrow.” He might be protesting but he easily follows Bakugou’s lead as they cross the threshold of the door and Kirishima lets himself be pushed against the wall.

“So stay over.” Simple as that right? Bakugou thinks so at least. He intertwines both his hands into Kirishima’s and stares daringly into his eyes. It’s Kirishima’s turn to be flustered and Bakugou is pleased.

“But my stuff- uh- my hero costume is back at my apartment.” Kirishima’s heart is hammering in his chest as excitement starts filling in the pit of his stomach.

Bakugou tilts his head and smirks. “Then I’ll just go get it for you if your ass can’t get up early enough.”

Kirishima quirks an eyebrow. Okay, two can play at this game. “Hmm.. that’s if your ass is even able to move at all tomorrow morning,” Kirishima smirks back down at Bakugou before he grabs the back of his head and crashes their lips together in a heated kiss.

And what those two men, who were so deeply in love with each other, do for the rest of the evening... is classified information.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you liked the ending! This was the longest fic I’ve ever written and I’m actually quite proud of it. Thank you so much for reading! 🙏🏻

The song that inspired me to write this fic > 🎶🎶

Also…… if you caught that Sponegbob reference… I love you. I wrote it as a joke but ended up keeping it hehehe.

#kiribaku #bakushima #kirishima eijirou #bakugou katsuki #mha #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #bakugou x kirishima #bnha #makeup #angst with a happy ending #boku no academia #my hero academia #Spotify

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whats-rambled-rambled · 4 years ago

Text

Long Nights - part 5

Neil x Reader

Chapter 5: After rain

(see chapter 4, 3, 2, 1)

summary: you learn to cope with the new situation, but you aren't the only one struggling

warnings: 18+, angst and pain, explicit language and other things

author’s note: This part of the story's been with me for... oh, so long. I just hope I did it justice. ✨6,1k words.✨ I don't even know.

Hurt/Comfort.

The song for this part is Dermot Kennedy - After rain

Enjoy! All feedback is greatly appreciated, let me know what you think?

——————

Tag list: @cxnnienikas @neutron-stars-collision @ergunbilge @invertedneil @wanderedaway @mellifluous-cosmos @wonderwoman292 @buckysgoldenheart @townmoondaltwistle @theriverbeneaththeriver (please let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list)

-----

Your hands clenched on the bed’s frame, its coldness felt like the only real thing your drugged mind could process.

Doctor’s words were filling the room, but they were muffled as if they were coming from behind a barrier. Falling from such height...extreme luck...no broken bones…head trauma...internal bruising....

Was all that talking really necessary? Yeah, you were battered, all right. And it seems that even with painkillers the weird throbbing, like a morse code from your bruised cells, was about to stay with you for a little while.

...just like the darkness.

The more the doctor spoke, the more it became clear that they didn’t have any definite answers for you. Seemed like the day spent on being prodded, stabbed with needles, and tossed into various machines resulted in nothing more than a verdict: optic nerve injury.

As for what were you supposed to do now--

“Let me get this straight, doctor,” you said, slowly losing patience. “Your only solution now is: let’s wait and see what happens?”

Drumming fingers against a piece of plastic, followed by a sigh.

“Yes. There is no effective treatment, we could try a high dosage of corticosteroids, but there is no evidence that it’s gonna make any difference, really. And as some recovery may spontaneously occur within days or weeks--”

Weeks.

A cold shiver ran down your spine and you swallowed with effort.

And that was a maybe.

You just wanted to go home.

“Grand,” you cut in, “please tell me I can wait for that possible joyful occurrence anywhere else but here.” You aimed for a lighter tone, but every word coming out of your mouth was dripping with bitterness. Grimacing at your own attitude, you forced a weak smile to appear on your face. “No offense, doc.”

“None taken,” the doctor said with a snicker. “I get it.” A short pause filled with a rustling of paper. “With all the tests done, I don’t think we need to keep you here for observation any longer, but I’d recommend you weren’t alone for the next few days. Do you have anyone to take care of you after we discharge you?”

“I don’t need--”

Neil’s firm voice overlapped with yours.

“Yes, she has.”

You huffed, startled. And a bit annoyed.

You almost forgot Neil was in the room, but to be fair, you were quite sure he’d never left your side since you woke up. His initial nervous chatter got replaced by a silent presence, always ready to jump in should you needed anything - no matter if it was a glass of water or an arm to lean on. It was all comforting, endearing even, and you were so grateful to have him around, but the thought of having Neil in your apartment triggered an irrational panic.

Instead of dwelling on the roots of the anxiety, you decided to over-talk it.

“Neil, I appreciate the offer, but I’ll be okay, and you surely have better things to do than babysitting me.”

“I don’t.” Was that a hint of hurt in his voice? “Doctor, can you discharge her even if she is gonna be alone out there?”

“I’d rather she spent at least one more day here then.”

Unbelievable. You rolled your eyes, hoping it would make the same effect as always, and groaned. “Fine, you win, only because I want nothing else but to sleep in my own bed tonight.”

“Excellent,” said the doctor cheerfully, “I’ll get the forms and come back to you soon.”

“Thank you, doc,” you sighed, hanging your head in defeat.

After spending enough time with a person, it was always easy to recognize them by the way they walk. That’s how you knew it was Neil who approached you, ever so hesitantly.

And only because of a brush of his fingers against your hand you realized you were still clinging onto the bed frame.

“Hey, I’ll just help you set up everything you need there, all right?” he said quietly and you felt him sitting down next to you. “You’re gonna have all the space you want, and as soon as you decide it’s too much, I’ll get out of your hair, I promise.”

He must have noticed that little panic of yours, huh?

“I didn’t mean it like that.” You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to form a coherent thought. “It sounds good though, thank you.”

“Sure thing.” Neil shifted slightly. “How are you feeling?”

You shrugged and grimaced. “I don’t know, but either I’ve slept through the best high or these drugs they gave me are kinda lame.” Hearing Neil’s light chuckle, you cracked a small smile. “Honestly? I’m knackered.”

He hummed with sympathy.

“Is there anything I can do for you now?”

The softness in his voice was more than your tired and dazed mind could handle. You leaned to the side and rested your head on his shoulder.

“Just… take me home,” you asked, forcing the words past your clenched throat.

Neil exhaled sharply and carefully wrapped an arm around you, pressing a cheek to the top of your head.

“Of course.”

------

“Welcome to my crib.”

“Thank you, it’s...” - Neil hesitated as he closed the door behind you - “...cosy.”

Patting the wall to your right, you located a small hook and hung the keys on it.

“That is certainly one word for it,” you snorted. “Why, what did you expect?”

“Frankly? Considering you’re such an... acclaimed locksmith, I imagined something… well, bigger, for starters.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the way he stumbled on words, trying so hard not to sound offensive in any way.

Grinning, you put on your most snobbish tone. “Ah, sorry to disappoint, all my gold, glitter, and general pizzaz got moved to one of my many summer houses as my spacious lair worthy of the most infamous thief is under renovation, so I was forced to retreat to my humble family place in this ghastly neighborhood.”

“Such a shame,” he said and a smile brightened his words. “I like it, though. Matches your vibe, somehow.”

“Because it’s small, detached, empty, yet somehow messy?”

Neil sighed in a way you were absolutely sure he was rolling eyes at you, then helped you with the coat. “It’s gonna take more than putting words in my mouth to make me want to leave you here all by yourself, you know.”

You were quite sure a dirty joke was hiding in there, but it eluded your tired brain.

“Damn, need to up my game then,” you giggled, leaning against the wall to take the shoes off without losing your balance. “Nah, I’m messing with you, I’m grateful you got me out of there. Can’t wait to rinse that hospital stench off of me.”

“Do you want me to run a bath for you?”

You mused over the idea for a moment, “Thanks, I’ll take a shower - two minutes tops and I’d end up asleep in the ‘tub.” Probably even faster, considering that you already were running on fumes. “Anyway, make yourself at home, gonna grab some fresh clothes.”

Neil was not willing to give up.

“I’ll get you--”

“I’ve got this,” you uttered, instantly hating yourself for how harsh it came out, so you quickly added, “But would you please put the kettle on?” sending an apologetic grimace along with your words.

“On it.”

He seemed happy to have something to do. Or at least sounded like it as he took the crackling grocery and takeaway bags to the kitchenette.

You walked across the room with confidence, your hand reluctantly extended ahead on your waist level just in case you miscalculated the route to the bedroom. When you reached the door frame, you smiled to yourself. It wasn’t that hard, was it? Almost like going to the bathroom at night, not willing to put the light on to avoid waking up, right?

And exactly then, your shin hit the edge of the bed footboard, the impact sending a searing wave of pain up your whole leg. You bit your knuckle to stifle a groan and a curse that was bound to follow. Every. Goddamn. Time.

The noises coming from the other room stopped, but luckily there was no question. Nor a hero coming to rescue you from the sudden and vicious attacks of furniture.

Finally, the closet. Your fingers ran through the folded clothes. Clean underwear. A soft t-shirt. Comfy pj pants. The fatigue was so severe that the term dress to impress didn’t even cross your mind. Not that Neil cared, right? But before you stepped back from the wardrobe, you hesitated, sliding your hands down to one of the bottom drawers. All that boring into nothingness was straining, and keeping your eyes closed all the time felt wrong, somehow. Might as well, you shrugged, pulling out a silky blindfold. Maybe this would trick your brain into thinking it was just a game. A temporary thing. Nothing serious.

...but what if--

You took a shaky breath and slammed the closet shut. Swallowing with effort, you took the clothes and limped out of the room, then followed the wall to the bathroom.

Neil’s concerned voice reached you halfway there.

“You okay?”

“Peachy,” you said and flashed your teeth in a strained grin.

“Let me know if you need anything, all right?”

A change of strategy, then. You certainly didn’t mind, at least this way it didn’t trigger the unnecessarily rude reaction. And you had a feeling that you were going to need a pair of eyes to take care of those bruises of yours.

...or you could just follow the radiating ache and slap some gel where it hurts most, but at this point, as the painkillers were slowly wearing off, it would probably be easier to just pour the whole tube on the tiles and roll over in it.

“Will do, thanks.”

You closed the door behind you and sighed. The undressing required an accompaniment of grunts, hisses and curses, and when you finally got into the shower (hitting yourself only once while doing so) you were all sweaty and panting as if you’d run up twenty flights of stairs.

You winced as the warm water poured over your body, but you couldn’t wait to get rid of the lingering smell of antiseptics. Using soap uncovered the injured spots with a burning precision, but you gritted your teeth and soldiered through it, changing position slightly so you wouldn’t cause more damage with shampoo and conditioner. Condemning your past self for choosing a matching set of hair products, you were forced to guess and pick one to pour a little bit of it on your hand to judge which is which based on the texture of the fluid. Why did you even bother…?

When you were done and more or less dry, you put on the panties and wrapped another towel around yourself. A slow thumping in your head was growing stronger by the minute, but it was still bearable. As for taking care of the bruises… you realized you didn’t even know where the arnica ointment was. You’d bought one on your way just in case, but that meant--

You groaned and rubbed an eye with the back of your hand. Help it was, then.

“Neil?” you called out, cracking open the door.

A sudden rumble of a chair made you cringe, but a corner of your mouth twitched.

“What is it?” he asked as his rushed steps carried him closer.

“Could you help me with putting something on the most banged-up spots, please?” - a sheepish smile crept on your lips - “I thought about just mixing some cream with my lotion and rubbing it all over, but--”

He scoffed as if the idea personally offended him. “Jesus, please don’t. I’ll be right back.”

Your legs seemed to weigh a tonne, but also started to shake as though they were about to give in any moment, so you sat back on the edge of a bathtub with relief.

Neil came back after a while and muffled clanking suggested he brought a full medkit with him. You waited as he washed his hands thoroughly, and you stifled an amused giggle at the dedication, even though it was nothing more but common sense.

Neil’s soft voice broke the silence. “I’m gonna take a look at those wounds first, but for that, I need to touch you, is it okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” you shrugged. “I imagine you can’t do plenty without that, huh?”

A light chuckle. “Fair enough.” And featherlike touches that followed.

Careful fingers examining every bruised inch of skin, starting from the freshly hurt shin, scraped knees, going up your thighs until they met the edge of the towel. Then, ghosting over your hands, unhurriedly moving up the forearms…

You realized your breath got shaky.

He tucked a still quite damp strand of hair behind your ear and his fingertips glided over your forehead and down your temple, traced your jawline up to your chin. His knuckles grazed your neck, then moved across your collarbones, but when they met the towel again, Neil hesitated.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before, right?” you joked playfully and untucked the corner of the towel, letting it slide down your body.

A sharp inhale and a slipped-out curse.

“Christ…” uttered Neil, and you were quite sure what he was referring to. Your hip pulsated with dull pain in the place where the oxygen container had been, or rather where it must have moved to during the escape, bruising the hip bone and surrounding area at the impact.

You forced a crooked smile to your face. “And here I was hoping it looked better than it felt.”

“I can always lie to you if you want,” he offered, aiming for a lighter tone.

Shaking your head, you nibbled on your bottom lip. Somehow, the sole thought of him lying to you seemed like a certain heartache.

“No.” Your voice sounded weak, but maybe that was understandable, given how powerless you felt overall. Or maybe you could stop being so pathetic any moment now.

You closed your eyes, and while you tried to parley with your brain to give you a break, Neil started meticulously treating your wounds, focused on not causing any more discomfort than it was needed. You switched all your attention to his ministrations, grimacing slightly from time to time as he was tending particularly sore spots. Neil’s warm fingers contrasted with the cold ointment, all the different sensations fought a merciless battle to take precedence over one another, making even more of a mess in your tired head.

You heard Neil shifting in front of you as he was about to move to your injured face. Acting on an impulse, you spread your legs to allow him to come closer, and so he did, positioning himself on his knees between your thighs without a word. Quite a concentration, you thought and smiled fondly to your memories of the times you’d seen him so committed to a task. Slightly furrowed brows, blonde strands falling into shining blue eyes, with a bottom lip tugged between the teeth...

A brief touch on your temple brought you back to reality and you gasped, reaching out to hold on to Neil to keep your balance. As you rested your hands on his sides, he gently cupped your face and continued with taking care of the bruises. It felt as if the warmth radiating from him was mending you whole, even more so when it got combined with tender, soothing brushes of Neil’s thumb against your cheek. You melted into his palm and exhaled slowly, dropping your shoulders and relaxing.

Before you could stop the words from spilling out, you said under your breath, “It was just a fall, I don’t know how it got that bad,” voicing the thought that’s been on your head all day.

Neil pulled back abruptly and the tranquil moment shattered like glass against the bathroom tiles.

“Are you being serious right now? Just a fall? You’re lucky you’re alive, goddamnit, let alone able to walk!” Disbelief mixed with anger in his tone, taking you aback. And to your surprise, it felt like yet another wound, inflicted right at your chest. “Y-you hit the wall before you crashed on the ground, you--” his voice broke and Neil sighed. You heard him packing the medkit, simply tossing things inside before he moved away.

“Oh,” was all you could say, reaching for the abandoned towel to wrap it over your shoulders, in a sudden and desperate need to cover yourself. In every way possible. “Remind me to tie a cat and a buttered slice of bread to myself the next time we do this.”

He didn’t respond to your poor attempt at lighting up the mood, instead, you heard the door handle, a deadpanned “I’ll heat up the food” and he was gone.

You had no idea where his reaction had come from. Normally, you’d have followed him straight away to confront him, but right then you felt so exhausted and helpless you just slouched in your spot, with your hands fisted on the towel, and sat like that for a while, leveling your breath. You mustered all the strength you had left, found your clothes and put them on. Then, you tied the blindfold, letting a piece of sleek material bring a shred of comfort and hide a pitiful glimmer in the corners of your eyes.

You joined Neil in the other room and sat at the table. He didn’t comment on your attire nor the choice of accessories, hell, he barely even spoke to you when he put the plate in front of you, as well as through the whole meal.

Even though you’d picked up your favourite comfort food on the way, it tasted bland, and with your stomach tied into a knot, you couldn’t force more than a few bites into your system. Judging by the sounds - or rather the lack thereof - coming from across the table, Neil’d lost his appetite too.

Finally, you cleared your throat, breaking the heavy silence. “I think I’m full,” you said and stood up, grimacing slightly.

“I’ll do the dishes, go lie down,” he said quietly. “Please.”

As if he anticipated an argument. You really had no energy for that.

“Thank you. Are you--...” you stumbled on the question, but Neil chimed in.

“I’ll be on the couch.”

...maybe it was for the best.

You nodded and turned on your heel to fetch a spare pillow and a blanket while Neil was occupied with the dishes. The ever-growing headache was becoming unbearable, but you hoped that the sweet arms of Morpheus would bring a much-needed release soon. You brushed your teeth quickly and mumbling “‘night,” you disappeared into the bedroom, leaving the door half open for god knows what reasons. Perhaps to make you feel less alone.

The plan of sleeping off the worst pain looked good on paper but proved to be too hard to execute. That bloody awful feeling of being tired beyond comprehension and still unable to doze off, right? You tossed and turned (although carefully), trying to find the most comfortable position. After a while, you took the blindfold off and curled on your side, staring into the nothingness again. Listening to the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. Forcing every breath through your clenched chest. Trying to focus on anything other than neverending soreness.

You heard Neil’s footsteps and how they stopped right at your door. Stalling.

And you didn’t even try pretending you were asleep. Waiting.

“Hey... I wanted to check if you need anything before I turn in for the night.”

The softness of his voice was tainted by something as if he was holding back. But you were so glad to hear it anyway.

“Actually,” you said, propping yourself on the elbow and wincing, “could you bring me one of those fancy painkillers, please? I thought I might do without for a little while but-- ...yeah, not quite.”

“Of course, coming right up.”

When Neil was back, you sat on the bed, allowing him to hand you a glass and ...a shot glass? You shook the latter slightly and something rattled inside.

“Ah, okay, smart,” you smiled with recognition. “Thanks.”

“Don’t tell me you thought it was vodka?”

A hint of amusement in his tone made you snort.

“I can’t say I would mind,” - shrugging, you swallowed the pill and washed it down with cool water - “but this is gonna be more efficient, I guess.”

You shifted in your spot to put down both glasses on a bedside table. Neil was there to make sure you actually placed them on top of it, pushing your forearm gently when you were about to create a mess.

That light touch brought a lump back to your throat. As if the awkward silence wasn’t suffocating you enough.

“If that’s all…” said Neil quietly, taking a step towards the door.

But you reached out into the darkness and found his hand.

“Neil…” you squeezed his fingers, desperately trying to convey words that eluded you. Your plea was barely a whisper. “...stay?”

The pulse pounded in your ears as the stillness that followed seemed to last forever.

Then, Neil squeezed your hand back.

“I will,” he choked out, and his thumb grazed over your knuckles. “Be right back.”

You nodded and let go of his hand, not even sure that he could see your gesture, then moved to the other side of the bed. The held-back breath escaped in a shudder as another wave of pain overrode your senses, leaving a trail of cold sweat down your spine.

A faint tock of the light switch in the other room, then footsteps and a pillow landing next to yours. Neil snuggled down, keeping his distance, and you curled again in your spot, hoping that his proximity will calm you down enough to fall asleep. But as you said your goodnights and Neil’s breath leveled and got deeper, you still waited on the pills to start working, getting more and more lost in your own head and thoughts you’d managed to keep lidded on until now.

Because if only you’d cracked that safe faster. Or maybe if you’d discussed that escape route beforehand, somebody would have found a better path through the roofs. No, scratch that, the plan was tight, and it was your goddamn fault that you’d gotten distracted by a sodding rain, of all things. And that jump? Bloody amateur hour. Should have seen that coming, stepped to the side, or caught onto anything. You’d been granted a second chance at that wall. But no, you’d had to panic like a bush-leaguer, as if it had been your first fall in your life. And now you were lying there, feeling sorry for yourself. Abso-fucking-lutely pathetic.

What if Madame Karma finally decided to make you pay? What if you were never going to get your sight back? A warm tear trickled down your face slowly. No more free runs and adrenaline rushes while taking shortcuts through the most obscure places. No more lying on the rooftops to observe how the sky changes colours through the night. No more sitting on the hill and watching how the sun reflected in the river. How it danced on that messy blonde hair. You would never see his blue eyes lighting up again--

Your chin trembled as the tears stained your pillow. It felt as if you were nothing but pain, fear, and heartbreak. Pressing your lips together, you stifled a sob that shook your body mercilessly. You were nothing.

“What’s wrong?”

You wanted to brush it off, to tell him you were okay and he could go back to sleep. But instead, you sniffled and whimpered, unable to pass any word through your tightened throat.

Neil gasped and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, hey, come here,” he said softly as his fingers pressed lightly onto your back, urging you to move and you shifted into his embrace, clenching your fists on his t-shirt, struggling for every breath. “I’ve got you, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay,” he cooed, wrapping the arms around you gingerly. A much-needed reassurance whispered over and over again like a plea to anyone who could be listening.

Weeping quietly into Neil’s chest, you sought refuge in his closeness, clinging onto him as he held you and stroked your hair, waiting for the worst to pass. Soon, you ran out of tears, and there were just sobs, convulsing you whole like a heart-wrenching hiccup. Neil hugged you a little tighter, placed a small kiss on top of your head, and started humming, a melody barely more than a murmur. It felt familiar, but why?

By and by, the song and a steady heartbeat against your cheek weaved together and calmed your racing mind. Enough to finally let you drift off, with Neil’s soothing voice and warmth enveloping you, bringing comfort and hope for a better tomorrow.

-----

You should have known better than to expect something to be different when you woke up. Swallowing down the disappointment and resignation, you dug yourself up from under the covers. The pain dialed down, but was very much there, especially during sudden moves.

Maybe you would feel better if you washed your face, still a bit puffed after all that--

…oh shit.

Your brain halted, torn between making you cringe and spreading the warmth through your chest. If you were to survive the day, the key was not to think about what happened last night. At least you didn’t have to look him in the eyes, huh? Armed with a smile, albeit a bit sour, you grabbed some clothes on your way out and ventured into the quiet living room.

“Neil?”

For a split second you were sure he was gone, but--

“Over here.” Judging by the sound of it, here was somewhere near the couch. “How are you feeling?”

Concern. Obviously. He’d seen you at your worst, so there was no point in hiding your state.

“Like I’ve spent some time inside a cement mixer,” you sighed. “But better, thanks. What time is it?”

“Almost 3 o’clock.” A faint thud of a book being put down. “Are you hungry? I was about to fix something.”

It was a good moment for your insides to growl in confirmation, but at least this time your body decided to spare you. Although your stomach was pretty much cleaving to your backbone, all right.

“Oh yes, please.” You smiled with appreciation and raised a hand with a bundle of clothes. “I’ll join you in a minute.”

That minute took a little longer, as your mobility was still pretty lacking, but fresh as a (beaten-up) daisy, in a comfortable outfit and a blindfold, you followed your nose to the kitchenette.

“Smells delicious.”

A soft chuckle came through the sizzling. “Hope it tastes good as well, wanna try?” When you nodded, you heard Neil walking up to you. “Open your mouth, careful - it’s hot.”

You recognized the rich flavor as some variation of the Napoli sauce, perfectly balanced, and you could only hum in approval. Where the hell had he gotten those herbs from?

“It’s amazing,” you said, but couldn’t resist a little smirk, “or I’m just starving.”

Neil scoffed lightly. “Might be that.” There was a smile and a hint of pride in his tone, and it made you beam a little wider. “Come sit down.”

When you did, and a bowl of pasta landed in front of you on the table, your mind involuntarily went back to last evening. That tension. Sudden distance. Everything after that. What was worse, it seemed like you weren’t the only one thinking about it, because the silence that fell between you now grew heavy with unresolved issues lingering in the air.

But maybe you were misreading the room and you were fine.

“Listen, about yesterday--”

...or not.

Instead of letting Neil finish, you panicked, and before you could stop yourself, you used his moment of hesitation to blurt out, “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I was exhausted and everything hurt and--” you frowned and hid the face in your palm. The shame felt like a tightening ring around your chest, making it hard to breathe. ”I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Wait, what?” huffed Neil, his voice filled with consternation. ”Jesus, no, that’s not what I meant, I--” he faltered and groaned, then added more softly, “Why are you even apologizing for that?” And when you shook your head, unable to find the right words, Neil gently touched your arm, rubbing it up and down slowly. “I’m glad you weren’t alone.”

Your heart clenched with fondness as you palmed over his hand.

“Thank you for being there for me.”

A twist of the wrist and a light squeeze on your fingers.

“Of course.”

Like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

After a moment, you asked quietly, “If it isn’t about that, then what?”

A loud buzz cut through the air, the unexpected noise almost making you jump in your seat. Impeccable timing.

Neil picked the vibrating phone from the table. “It’s work, I have to get that.” His hand was still holding yours, reluctant to let go. “If I’m not done by the time you finish eating, two words: bed rest.”

“May I make it a couch rest, doc?” you grinned, and by the resigned sigh you could tell Neil definitely rolled his eyes at you.

“Just make yourself comfy and horizontal, all right?” A final brush of his thumb against your fingers and he was up, walking off from the table. “Hi, what’s up?”

Whatever they needed him for, it took so much time that you finished your meal and obediently moved to the couch. That unfinished talk left you anxious enough to nervously pick at the edge of the blanket, but as Neil was still lost in a hushed conversation, and the aforementioned blanket was way too cosy, you slowly drifted off into a dreamless nap.

You weren’t sure what woke you up - a shift on the other side of the couch, or a heavy sigh, one of those signaling the weight of the whole world on somebody’s shoulders. Hearing the latter was enough to wipe the remains of sleep from your system and you sat up, grunting slightly.

“What is it?”

Another sigh.

“I’m an idiot.”

You puffed your cheeks and shrugged, a corner of your mouth twitching in a nervous smile.

“Before I let out a purposeful no and kick you - why are you saying that?” Silence. “...Neil?” When the answer was not coming for too long, you moved to your knees, reaching out until you touched his shoulder. No reaction. Trying to keep a rising worry at bay, you urged him quietly, “Talk to me, please.”

Neil inhaled slowly and he finally spoke, his voice barely there.

“I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” you asked, knitting your brows together as you brushed your hand down his arm only to find his clenched fist, tightening even further under your touch.

“For yesterday, for letting it out on you, when you were just--” he paused to swallow audibly, and then continued, blurting out one strained word after another, “and all of that while this whole mess is my goddamn fault because if I hadn’t hesitated out there, we both would have made it in time--”

“No, no, no, you can’t do that to yourself,” you said, crawling into his lap and nestling between his legs, wrapping yours around his waist. “It was a perfectly normal reaction.” The pulse thumped in your ears when you placed one hand on Neil’s chest and the other one travelled up along his neck to cup his face. Then your thumb glided over a wet trail on his cheek and it felt as if your heart shattered into a million pieces. Oh please, no. “My darling...” you whispered, but it was as if Neil barely acknowledged you were there, trembling and lost.

He pressed his forehead to yours and continued, traces of dread ringing in his hollow tone more and more with every choked-out sentence.

“When I turned back and I saw that--….at first, I thought you’d been shot, then you fell and-- suddenly all I could think was if your oxygen container was intact, or--... I called the Cavalry on the way down but I was so scared I was too late, I thought--” his voice broke and you felt him frowning as he shuddered, struggling to carry on. “I thought that you were gone, and I didn’t--”

His heart raced under your palm while you kept stroking his cheek, consoling him softly, “Neil, I’m here, it’s all right, I’m here.” But when that didn’t seem like enough to bring him back to you, you reached to his neck to pull him closer and kissed him, desperate to make him stop spiralling down. To make him stop hurting.

A muffled whine against your lips. But then you felt him melt and he kissed you back, still helpless, wrapping his arms around you carefully as if he expected you to fall apart under his touch. Not quite there. You deepened the kiss purposefully, burying your hands in his hair, tugging at the strands as you pressed yourself to him as much as you could in your position. You didn’t care about your own pain or discomfort. If any of you were meant to be lost in any way, it might as well be this. Neil gasped and lifted you up so you properly straddled him, then tightened the embrace, clinging on to you for dear life as he captured you in another kiss, and this time it was his turn to try to convey the unbearable mixture of despair, relief, and immense longing. All of that poured into this simple act of devotion until there was nothing but pure need. To touch and to be touched. To hold and to be held. To be close. To be wanted. To be found.

A breathless moan escaped your mouth and Neil pulled back ever so slightly.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said softly, his fingertips gliding over your features.

Oh, how much you missed looking into his eyes.

The fact that he cared, without simply going ahead with it, made your chest clench with fondness. At this point, you trusted him beyond reason, although it was still nice to hear it.

“I’m not made of glass,” you huffed, nuzzling his nose.

A low hum and a trail of kisses along your jawline. You shivered when his lips reached a spot just below your ear and then smiled against your skin.

“Are you sure?” his husky voice was playful, but you knew he was double-checking.

“Try me.”

That moment was not about chasing the high. It was about feeling each other. Being with one another. As close as possible. That couldn’t wait, and neither could any of you, tugging at the clothes in random order with urgency.

Neil looped his arm around your shoulders, settling you on your side in his embrace. Keeping you steady. Safe. Close. And even though his kisses were desperate and leaving you winded, his touch was gentle, and you knew the blue eyes were watching you attentively, ready to react to the smallest sign of discomfort. But also to any encouragement to go further.

A hitched breath. A leg hooked on his hip. Fingers dragged across his back.

He was ready to give you everything and take whatever you were willing to offer. And you wanted to do the same for him until everything else lost its meaning and it was just you and him, and the fire that burned inside you. Searing every nerve. Cleansing the doubts. Numbing the pain. Lighting up the darkness. And, in the end, bringing resolution as you both came undone, moaning and gasping for air only to be comforted by hands cupping cheeks and yet another kiss. Slow. Tender. Full of admiration.

When Neil drew back and shifted slightly, you whined in protest, wrapping your leg around him tighter to keep him in place.

“Where are you going?”

A quiet chuckle, followed by a feeling of a soft blanket sliding over your naked body. And a kiss on the tip of your nose.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

You sighed with content as Neil pulled you closer again. The light stubble scratched your fingers as they studied the impossible angles of his face unhurriedly.

“Good.”

(next chapter ->)

#neil tenet #neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #neil tenet fanfiction #robert pattinson #tenet #tenet fanfiction #neil tenet imagine #long nights

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daydreamsofh · 5 years ago

Text

Terrible Love- Part One

A/N: Ahhhhh, hi! Hello! Welcome to Terrible Love, part one. I am so excited to share this with you! This one is another friends to lovers, because I literally do not know how to write anything else! Kidding. No, really. :)

And I have to give a very special thank you to my girl @harryinsweatersandbandanas for her constant encouragement and support. Ash, thank you for being such a light in my life and for always reassuring me. And another special thank you to @dallas-suit-harry for beta reading for me, Em, thank you for always being so wonderful and funny and I can’t wait to tackle you with hugs sometime soon <3

Here we go! As always, reblogs and feedback are more than welcome, my ask box is always open :)

Summary: Love, or should I say falling for your best friend has a way of being terrible, and wonderful all at the same time.

Inspired by this song: Terrible Love- Birdy

Word Count: 5k

He’d be gone soon, and there was quite literally nothing that you could do about it. You started to do your normal routine when he was getting ready to leave. Step 1: ( and really it was the only step) avoid him, avoid him, AVOID HIM. It made no sense, and it was incredibly childish on your part but it was a lot easier than having to face him, knowing his familiar and (annoyingly handsome) face would be gone from you far too soon. And for far too long. You started staying later at work to avoid having your weekly dinners with him, and you even went in on the weekends just to have an excuse as to why you couldn’t see him. Your favorite co workers had even caught on at this point, knowing not to even begin to ask why you suddenly looked so sad, and so defeated, literally all the time. It was gross and overly dramatic the lengths you were taking to avoid seeing him, and at the end of the day, it didn’t make you feel any better. At all.

But your poorly thought out plan of avoidance came to an abrupt halt the night before he was leaving. He had called and practically begged you to come over, saying he had a present for you and something about wanting to tell you goodbye. You couldn’t exactly tell what he said because you were too busy racking your brain to think of a way to get out of going. But when he called you by your full name, (which only happens when either of you are angry with each other, and or to get one’s attention right off the bat) you reluctantly decided to go.

You had sullenly agreed to meet him at his place, it was easier to just agree to meet him than to keep trying to avoid him. He was inevitable, just like the waves of emotion you feel when he leaves, heart breaking, and inevitable. When you had finally managed to drag your feet out of your car to his front door, he opened it before you even rang the bell. He swung the door open, and as soon as you saw his face, your stomach fell and you had to swallow the lump in your throat. His eyes lit up and the corners of his mouth followed while his eyes focused on your makeup free, tired face.

“Ah, so you do remember who I am!” he said it with a soft smile, realizing now that he got a chance to look at you that it must have taken a lot for you to come over. Clingy wasn’t the right way to describe you as a friend, let alone a best friend, but he was no stranger to the fact that him leaving for months at a time had an effect on you, as well as on him. He was quite sure you’d never be able to fully understand the effect you had on him, or on his life. How whenever he made a stupid joke, he’d look over to see if you thought it was funny too, or how he would sit in the exact spot as you whenever you left his house for the night, scooting down the seat far enough that your familiar smell surrounded him and he would let out the softest sigh. How sometimes he would even fall asleep in that position, just wanting to be reminded of you for as long as he could, even though you physically weren’t there. How it was a tradition for the two of you to exchange gifts before he left for tour, or more how it was a tradition that he would get you something in exchange for him getting to see you one last time, no matter how weepy and tired you were.

You smiled as best you could for him, trying to hide the fact that you just wanted to cry seeing him standing there. You walked through his door without a word, and walked straight into his chest. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head several times. When he finally let you go, you turned and climbed on his kitchen counter to take a seat and he moved to stand in front of you. You could feel him staring a whole through you but your gaze was solely focused on the floor beneath you.

He cleared his throat to break the silence before saying, “Thought we said you weren’t going to hide from me anymore for weeks at a time, before I leave for tour, hmm?” It wasn’t an angry question, he was stern but his tone was a gentle coo, and he was doing his slow blinking bit that makes your heart melt and beat faster all at the same time. When you finally looked up from the floor you shrugged your shoulders and started staring at the crown molding on his ceiling before making eye contact with him.

“I’ve been busy with work H, really, really, realllllly busy,” you finished it with an innocent quirk of your eyes and a genuine smile to really try and sell the line.

Harry ran his fingers through the top of his hair and nodded slowly, “Ah yeah right super busy with work, and avoiding your best friend pretending like he isn’t about to be gone for a few months,” his smirked at you when he saw your shoulders deflate and your eyes roll.

You whimpered and dropped your head, “Don’t remind me please,” he caught your legs that were swinging back and forth under his countertop and spread his thumb over the top of your knee to get you to look at him.

When it was clear he wasn’t going to speak first, you huffed before scooting back an inch on the counter.

“I know you like to be gone and I know that you love touring,” you started, looking directly at him despite the tears forming. “I just hate that you have to physically leave to do it,” you squeaked out. A tear rolled down your cheek despite your best efforts and he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. His lips curled up into a small smile and then he was full on grinning at you. When he started chuckling you rolled your eyes and moved to kick him but he caught your calve, rubbing small circles into your skin. You narrowed your eyes at him and you couldn’t help but laugh even though you just wanted to kick him.

“You know what, screw you, I’m glad you think this is so funny,” you huffed while rolling your eyes.

Harry caught his breath and shook his head, “No no no, s’not funny love, I’m sorry. S’just so cute when yeh get like this right before I leave,”

When you thought about it, you were always like this about him, regardless of his traveling schedule. You could always seemingly just cry from watching him from across the room, he had such a way of drawing people in, and you were powerless to that. It pained you to hear him call you cute, what were you his sister? The deepest part of your mind knew exactly how you felt about Harry, but you had yet to admit it to yourself, out loud anyway. Partly because you knew he would never feel the same way, and partly (mostly) because if you were to admit it to yourself how badly you wanted him, the admission would be too heavy to handle. Your chest ached at the thought of him leaving, but your chest ached more at the fact that you seemingly would never have the courage to tell him how you felt. He had had relationships over the years, and you had watched him fall in and out of love over and over again, always there to pick up the pieces. You however, had had few and far boyfriends and relationships in between. It was hard to commit to anything seriously when you were without knowing, (and partly actually knowing) that you were comparing them all to Harry. It wasn’t logical, and was a sort of self sabotage but how can you not compare everyone to him, when he’s just so….. Him?

“How about while I’m gone, you house sit fo’ me? Don’t have to stay the whole time, but maybe just for the first few weeks? Y’know, it might ease the sting of me leaving for a little while?”

When he smiled after his question you rolled your eyes, pushing his shoulders back as he tried to get closer to you.

“You know actually now that I think about it I can’t wait for you to leave, so I can sell all of your stuff on ebay you wanker,”

His mouth dropped and opened very over dramatically, and he snaked his arms around your waist to bring you closer to him. Face pressed against your neck you felt the smallest, shyest bit of pressure from his lips, and before you could process it he said, “Make sure you don’t sell those white loafers of mine love, know they’re your favorite,”

That had you giggling and Harry smiling soft at you. When he lifted his face out of your neck your shared laughter had died down and you sat there just gazing at each other. His gaze flickered over your face and the butterflies you seemingly always felt when you were with him were swooping gently in your stomach and you felt warmer and warmer the longer he looked at you.

When your lip quivered again despite your best efforts you didn’t hesitate when he pulled you into him again. You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and he started humming softly in your ear. His hands were rubbing soft circles against your lower back and you felt yourself slowly melting into him. The rest of your night consisted of watching a movie on his couch and you sitting in his lap while he cuddled you from behind, your legs getting tangled eventually until you fell asleep halfway on top of him. When you woke up the next morning you watched as he gathered his last things to get ready to leave while you sipped coffee from your designated mug from his collection.

You walked him out of his front door to the car waiting to take him to the airport and once you came to a stop in his driveway he leaned down to peck your cheek, you held his face to your cheek for a moment and you could feel him breathing you in. He moved his forehead to rest against yours and he murmured a soft, “Miss you already. Text you when I land, okay?”

You could only nod your head as he kissed your forehead once more, completely overwhelmed with his face so close to yours. And just like that he was gone, and the air felt cold as soon as he stepped away and you shivered. The breath was knocked out of you as you made your way back into his house and you couldn’t help but drag your feet as you made your way back in.

You had ultimately taken him up on his house sitting question, and even though you knew he was joking it actually did help the sting of him leaving. At least a little bit. It was comforting to be surrounded by his things and to be in his environment, but you still found yourself moping around his ridiculously larger than life house. It was hard for you to stay focused on anything for more than a few minutes before you were pilfering through his closets and drawers, smiling softly to yourself as you remembered items from his wardrobe that you had grown to love over the years. Running your hands along the stitches and seams of pieces that smelled of his cologne you found yourself getting teary eyed. You had cozied up in one of his shirts every night he had been gone and you were already planning to sneak some new additions home in your bag to add to your collection.

You had tried to sleep on the couch in his living room, the large leather cushions felt like they were swallowing you whole, and you could smell his cologne etched into the fabric from all of his time he spent sitting there. Whether that was when he was scribbling down lyrics, or laughing into your hair as you watched a show together. You found yourself getting frustrated at yourself for crying about his couch? Seriously? Could you be more embarrassing, weepy, and grossly emotional? Pushing yourself up off of his couch you made your way down the hall to his bedroom. The entirety of your stay you had avoided going into his bedroom, it was ridiculous and made little sense even to you, but you had known that if you were in the space he spent the majority of his time in, you would never want to leave. You rested against the door frame and took a deep breath and crossing the threshold. Flicking on the lamp on his bedside table you smiled at the instant warmth you felt by just being in his room, in the space that he felt the most at home, it almost felt like he was right there with you. You pulled back the duvet and crawled into bed, his familiar scent overtaking your lungs all over again. You clutched the blankets in your hands for dear life, almost convinced that if you held onto them for long enough he would magically appear and be here with you.

As much as you loved Harry, and you did, you truly did, you couldn’t help but think that it was a terrible sort of love. Thinking back to the song you and him would dramatically sing to one another to make each other laugh you realized how true the lyrics were for you, and how they had always perfectly described your relationship with him.

It’s a terrible love and I’m walking with spiders, it’s a terrible love and I’m walking in…

It’s quiet company, It’s quiet company, It’s quiet company…..

From how badly you seemingly always wanted him, to how you couldn’t sleep without listening to a voice note he had sent you when he finally landed, or how you had to read one of the books on his bedside table to tire yourself out. The knowledge that his eyes had raked over the same lines of words and held the same spine of the book was enough to make your fingertips tingle and your chest ache.

And I, can’t fall asleep, without a little help

It takes a while to settle down, my shivered bones, wait till the panic’s out…..

At some point though, you must have fallen asleep because the next thing you knew daylight was breaking through his curtains and your eyes were stinging and swollen from the tears you had cried the night before.

You had been checking in with Harry every few days while he had been gone, most of the time it was a simple, “Miss you, thinking of you x” message from him, followed by a “Miss you, love you.” response from you. Your co-workers had noticed a small change in your mood, not exponentially, but a slight difference in your overall state. You weren’t bouncing off the walls excited but you also didn’t look like you were going to break down into tears every five seconds, either. One day your favorite co worker Lucy, who you had initially bonded with over your shared love of trashy bravo reality TV shows, had a “fail proof” way to cheer you up even more.

“Alright, I know you’re too busy missing that bloke to even know what day it is, but I think I have something, or someone that can take your mind off of him, completely?” she all but squeaked out, obviously very excited and very proud of herself for coming up with such a revolutionary idea, if her eyebrows stamped on top of her forehead in question weren’t telling enough.

You had rolled your eyes halfway through her talking and quirked an annoyed eyebrow up at her in question.

“Oh yeah? Tell me Luce, what would this “fail proof” idea of yours be anyway?”

“Well I am so glad you asked! Remember that guy I was telling you about a while back? The friend of a friend who actually seems like a super sweet, sugary stick of a guy! Connor? Ringing any bells?”

You couldn’t help the scowl that settled across your face, the name just sounded so bland, ordinary, and not what you were looking for.... Like, remotely. When you really thought about it, what you were looking for was a loud, sometimes obnoxious knobhead of a man who tripped over his own feet and wears vaguely inappropriate graphic tees and someone who has an absurd love for pea’s and calls him Mum each chance he gets and someone who has kind eyes and who acts like he’s never met a stranger. Oh how nice that would be.

Lucy took your silence and facial expression as not only a no, but a hell no. But when you looked at her crestfallen face, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit bad, you hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings or her attempts at being a matchmaker. Maybe she was right? Maybe this was a good idea? Maybe he was harmless and she genuinely thought the two of you might have something in common..? Plus, what’s one night? You could get someone to buy you dinner and at the end of the night you were still going home to Harry. Crap- Harry’s house- you mean.

“You know what Luce, that would be fine! Sounds fun actually!” you were lying through your teeth but you smiled anyway to try and really sell it.

“Eeeek! Yay! Oh you two are going to have the best time, I just know it! Let me call him for you, babe!” she reached over to give you a squeeze, and you hugged her back all the same despite the uneasiness you were already feeling.

The date had been…. Fine. Nice, even. That’s really all you could say to describe it, to describe him. He was nice and charming, and smiled at you every chance he got, but something just wasn’t right. There was nothing wrong with him necessarily, either, he just wasn’t what you were hoping for. He had paid for your dinner and asked you question after question about yourself trying to get to know you, he had opened the door to the restaurant for you and the car door when he drove you home. To be honest, he was a complete and utter gentleman the whole evening, but something about him just screamed vanilla to you. He had leaned in for a kiss on your cheek when you opened your door to leave, and in response you squeezed his hand and thanked him before muttering a “thank you, see you”.

When you had made your way back inside of the house you pulled your phone from your bag to see a missed facetime call and three texts from Harry. You couldn’t help your squeal when you saw his name and you immediately swiped your thumb over the notification and checked yourself in the reflection of your phone. The longer your phone rang the more nervous you got, you hadn’t seen him despite a few pictures of him on stage and one he sent to you the first night of the leg of the tour.

When his face appeared on the screen you felt your eyelashes hit your eyebrows from smiling so hard and the biggest grin took over your entire face. You clapped your free hand over your forehead and giggled when you saw his tired eyes find yours on the screen.

“There she is! Hi love,”

You let out a small laugh, “Hi H,”

His dimples were showing and you saw his eyes searching the background of his kitchen you were sitting in.

“Ah, so I see you haven’t gone and sold all of my belongings after all, huh love?”

“Yeah yeah well for now anyways,” you rolled your eyes and were giggling softly and he was smiling softly, smittenly at you.

When you got up from your place at the island to take off your coat Harry asked you, “Did you just get in? S’little late isn’t?”

Your eyes flicked back on the screen immediately and you could have sworn you heard the slightest twinge of jealousy, maybe even annoyance in his tone. His brows were furrowed when you made eye contact with him and you raised yours at him in response. You finished taking off your coat and picked your phone up again, bringing it eye level to your face.

“Uh yeah, I actually had a sort-of date tonight. I walked in just a little bit ago actually,” you told him easily.

You saw his jaw clench and you shifted in your seat. Was he mad at you? He sounded pensive when he asked you the question and now his jaw was set in a fixed, hard line. You felt your cheeks fill up with heat and you couldn”t help but feel like you had done something wrong. Obviously you hadn’t, you were free to date and to see or not see whoever you wanted to, and so was Harry. You didn’t like the fact of him going out on dates, but that was besides the point.

You were studying his face and when he turned his head to the side to stretch his neck out and you couldn’t miss the red, splotchy marks on the side of his neck. Your eyes were stinging and you were glad you were sitting down for the duration of this dramatic turn of events phone call. Looks like someone had been having fun on the road with god knows who. Who the hell was he to question about your whereabouts when he was clearly preoccupied with other things? With other people? You suddenly felt sick to your stomach and you could feel your eyes start to brim with tears. You always imagined yourself being the one to press marks and kisses and love bites into the warm skin of his neck. The thought that someone else was doing that in your absence night after night on tour made you want to sink to the floor and sob.

He cleared his throat after the moment of silence and your barely wet eyes met his. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could get it out you cleared your throat and thought quickly of an excuse to get off of the phone before he could see you break down.

“You know H, I should probably go, I have an early meeting in the morning and I should get some sleep,” you sheepishly smiled at him before your gaze fell to the floor.

You could feel his gaze on you, hard even through the screen. He coughed to fill the silence and you could hear him shifting in his seat.

“Erm, yeah love sure. Get some rest. Talk to you soon?” he smiled weakly at you and you could only nod your head.

Your voice wavered and you squeaked out, “Love you,”

He repeated the words back to you and you looked at him one more time before hanging up.

Your head fell and you couldn’t help the tears that were rolling down your cheeks. The notion that you were never going to be with him in that way, came smacking you in the face, once again. This is part of the reason you never wanted to truly deal with your feelings about him, they were too big and too deafening. They made your hands shake and your fingertips itch with the need to touch him. They made your chest heave and your throat burn when you saw him looking at you from across the room. They knocked the wind out of you every time he left and they were stronger every time he came back. They were loud and never ending and warm and made you feel like you were home, they were made out of everything that makes him, him.

Rising up from your perch on his kitchen floor, you dragged yourself to bed. His bed. God, could you be any more pathetic and weepy? It was like you were trying to break a world record of how many tears you could cry over one Harry Styles. Why does even his name have to be so god damn charming? Could he not make it this easy to be so out of your mind, in love with him? It was like the universe was laughing at you and you just prayed that Harry didn’t have cameras hidden in his house somewhere and he was watching you throw yourself a massive, walleyed fit.

Pulling his duvet that smelled so much of him and now of you, you pulled the covers over your eyes and drifted off to sleep.

You had ended up spending the entire leg of the tour staying at his house. It was never your intention to stay the whole time, but the longer you were there the less you wanted to go back to your house. His house was warm and comforting and as sad as you were about his new flame he seemed to have, you couldn’t leave.

The two of you had talked a few times since that fateful facetime call, and he was set to come home the day after tomorrow. You had been dreading seeing him but the feeling in the pit of your stomach and the race of your heart at the mere vision of him walking through the door told you otherwise.

Work had been slow for you the next day, not like you would be able to actually get anything done if you tried, too antsy at the thought of him coming later than evening. When the day was done and over and there were no other possible reasons for you to stay in the office any longer, you started your way back to his house.

When you punched in the code at his front door to find it was already unlocked, your stomach dropped to the sidewalk beneath you and you panicked. The little wanker was home two hours early. Crap crap crap crap CRAP! You took a deep breath before pushing the door open, the warmth from his house meeting your cheeks and coloring them as soon as you walked through the door.

As soon as you shut the door you heard a gasp followed by your name and suddenly a six foot mop of curls were making their way down the stairs. He snuck up behind you and scared the absolute crap out of you and you let out a loud, shrill of a laugh when he spun you around.

When he finally sat you down you got a look at him properly, your heart turned to mush and you felt your knees go weak at being this close in proximity to him again.

“S’bout time you showed up doll, too busy with that new boyfriend of yours, eh?” he winked at you but you could tell there was a sort of twist at his stomach at his question.

You hadn’t mentioned to him that you hadn’t seen Connor since that night, or the fact that you didn’t really want to see him, ever again.

You let out an uncomfortable laugh and shook your head while running your fingers through the hair he messed up in his jostling of a greeting.

“Yeah uh, definitely not, H,” you laughed.

When he leaned his head back to laugh, you saw the marks again. They were bright red this time and it was impossible to miss them. You felt your knees start to go slack and you had the sudden urge to bolt.

“Well,” you started, rubbing your suddenly very clammy hands together. “I guess I’ll go gather my stuff up and get out of your hair, I’m sure you’re exhausted.” you smiled while you passed by him and when he couldn’t see you you closed your eyes at the smell of his cologne washing over you.

He was quick to turn around and follow after you, “Y’don’t have to go, could sit and talk fo’ a bit. Tell you all about the tour an’ all that,” he smiled his softest smile and you just wanted to fall into him.

“Actually uh now that I think about it, I forgot I have plans, so I’ll just see you at the party on Saturday, H.” you nervously huffed out, feeling very hot and nervous under his gaze all of a sudden.

“Oh,” he spoke up, “So you are coming to that?” he asked with the slightest tinge of pink to his cheeks.

“Of course I am, I’ll see you then, H.” you smiled and leaned in to kiss his cheek. But before you could back up Harry gripped your hips softly and held you to him for a moment.

“Really did miss you,” he all but whispered in your ear. His voice had a raspy, honey tone to it, and it made your eyes fall shut again.

You pulled back from your place against his neck and gazed back at him. His eyes were soft and he brushed a piece of hair behind your ear. He started to lean farther towards you and your eyes shot up from his mouth.

“I really missed you too, H.” you softly said to him. “I’ll see you soon.” you rubbed your thumbs in soft circles over his forearms and finally side stepped him to leave.

Bags in hand and your heart in your throat you made your way to your car to leave. When you looked back he was already looking at you. You smiled wordlessly and he winked back at you.

You had managed to keep yourself from crying until you were halfway down the street.

When you got to your familiar street, you put the car in park and pulled your phone out to text a number you hadn’t saved yet. Swallowing harshly you wiped underneath your eyes to get rid of the tears that had started to form, again.

Typing out you wrote, “Hey, had a wonderful time with you the other night, what are you up to Saturday?”

#eeeeeeek i hope you like it!!!!#terrible love #going to hide now hehehe #harry styles imagines #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry fluff #oh the yearning #part two should be up sometime this next week!!!!#EEEEEEEK

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