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absolutebl · 3 years

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This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 4

it’s my birthday week! *raises a glass of pink milk*

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 4 - oh noes my babies are all so sad! Teen angst for the win. Tropes included: crying in shower, a very significant hand hold, & striped shirts. (At this point over half the cast has been in stripes.)

Love Machine Ep 1 - not gonna lie, I barely made it through the first half, this is a short run LOW budget experimental web series and it’s not good. Dropped.

Lovely Writer Ep 9 - I like it when LW gets serious because there are fewer dumb sound effects, but oof Aey, poor baby. How many Aeys have I known over the years? Rejected, broken, angry, lonely, and lashing out. On a different note, I haven’t see the “sex drug made us do it” plot device since 1980s Johanna Lindsey. Props to that cocktail rearing its ugly head. (yeh yeh) ZOMBIE TROPE ALERT. (Is this the point where I remind the world at a-play doesn’t have to hurt? Well, it doesn’t! Toys, prep, and lube people. Sheesh.) Anygay, zombie trope is put safely back underground. Please don’t let it rise again? (I KNOW, I’ll stop now.) So this was a rough episode, especially the back end. (Okay now I’ll REALLY stop.) Seriously tho, BL doesn’t do a massive coming out family drama scene often. I liked LW’s handling of this one. Hard to watch but compelling.

Close Friend Ep 1 (OhmFluke) - very cute snapshot into a LTR featuring an overworked music producer and his student BF. That’s the chassis for this whole series, each one has to do with the song & is a portrayal of that song’s message. Essentially, the theme of this one was remembering to make time for your partner. I enjoyed that. OhmFluke gave us easy casual familiar affection and a kiss, but no BL tropes, just romance.

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 3 - Pi is a total spazz & the ghost story bit was... well, it was something wasn’t it? Lots of tropes: fixing his clothes, wound tending, drag baby around, piggyback, head in lap, hand hold, and ending on a drunk kiss. I just noticed Pi uses guu/mueng with Mork, but Mork’s a year older. (So I have a new entry onto the linguistic brats list.) So rude and presumptuous. Also I gotta say this, don’t wear watches when you’re working on a cadaver, mmky boys?

Y-Destiny Ep 4 - look MaxNat have great chemistry, this ep had loads of great tropes (e.g. cheek kiss, rooftop, public claiming via phone), it’s not their fault I’m just not wild about these characters. I do like Nuea’s wanna-be idol wardrobe though. And Sun is sporting the red bag version of Tharn’s black bag that I wanted so bad in TT2. (I wonder if I can score a knock off when I’m over there?) Regardless, I basically grinned all the way through this installment, so that’s another thumbs up from me for Y-Destiny. Who knew I’d come around? Man would I love to see these two get their own series.

Brothers Ep 12 - teacher/student exposed! But the power of boys on phones will overcome all. No KhunKaow for me, so of course I found this ep tragically disappointing.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 6 - MuRen is officially a yaoi manga character in the flesh. H4′s outright mockery/subversion of tropes “don’t touch him he’s mine,” + “touch my lip & think of kissing” makes the fact that other (way more damaging) tropes are being blithely utilized without critique almost - dare i say it? - insulting. YongJie is trash but I’m the one who feels like trash because I want to forgive him. How aptly abusive & dysfunctional we all are. I don’t know whether to applaud H4 or start drinking. (Maybe this is the show I should invent a cocktail for? Who am I kidding? This is totally a jello shots show.)

Friend or Lover (Taiwan) Ep 2 - I thought this was only a microfilm but turns out it’s a web series. It’s cute. I’m enjoying it.

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 3 - subs take a while to drop but it’s still better than average. I like a secret identity trope, I love a grumpy/sunshine pairing, and the side couple is great but this ep was slow. With only 6 total (I assume) they better get the main couple together next ep or the improved quality of this series will be sacrificed on the alter of pacing issues.

Word of Honor (China) Ep 28-30 - slowed down to focus on bad guys (yawn...ooo Scorpion...yawn again). Then baby gets kidnapped, other baby goes crazy, and old friends turn up. We end on DOOM because mathematically this was an episode 11. All boxes checked.

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) Ep 3-4 - how is this show SO DAMN CUTE & weirdly wholesome at the same time? Another one of those: Will Korea resolve this satisfactorily in 4 short eps? But I seem to say that half way through every Korean BL. These days, I have complete faith. Warm fuzzies for everyone.

Stand Alones

Color Rush movie is the same as the series. There is a stinger at the VERY end (untranslated) but which I’m assuming has something to do with the missing mother. Is this a possible indication of a 2nd season? Hopefully someone will eng sub the stinger and post it out into the universe. So yeah, Color Rush movie = To My Star style, sadly, not Wish You. That said, I did enjoy watching with different subs. The first version I watched was fan subbed, and they were better on English colloquialisms. Viki’s subs are better on Korean colloquialisms.

Breaking News

Bunch of new press on Thailand’s I Told the Sunset About You 2 AKA I Promised You the Moon. Here’s a master post on the subject with all the links you could ever want. It will start airing May 27th 8 pm (Thai time) on LINETV.

New Thai Bl Golden Blood got a teaser trailer. Stars familiar side dish Gun Napat (Techno from LBC) as a rich kid who needs a bodyguard. Yeah, it looks to be the Thai version of Where Your Eyes Linger which is FINE. I love me a bodyguard romance. DO EETTT Thailand. Trailer contains ALL the tropes: dry his hair, piggyback, cooking together, and more, plus good smooches. It looks GREAT. Also cheeper to make then KinPorsche and it might get funded due to of residual enthusiasm. Also GOOD TITLE.

Close Friend got another teaser trailer this one for Talay & Yoon (no subs).

Taiwan has a new BL coming out... eventually. Looks to be a new franchise like the HIStory series with different couple(s) each season. It’s the first Taiwanese BL from a major in-country network. The first installment is titled Be Loved in House: I Do (seriously Taiwan, could we talk about your titles?). It stars a familiar face, Aaron Lai from HIStory: My Hero. It’s a grumpy/tsundere boss/employee office-set BL with some forced proximity to push them together. (Nods to Japan.) No release date, but (unlike Thailand) Taiwan usually doesn’t make announcements without content & serious intent.

Gossip

Taiwanese BL NOVEL Miracle dropped a trailer, no subs or translation. According to YouTube comments it was supposed to be part of HIStory3 but MODC took on its slot. Still it’s kinda fun to see what might have been.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

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classiccheesecake · 2 years

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i cant count but like i think Im having more sages in my au than what oot hasss but like ミ ᕕ(ᐛ) ᕗ idk if I mentioned but i like sages so like sages are a part of the au now ;v;; and I think a sage for each race is swag so this is what I have Delie Ravio Impa some random minish some random zora some random goron some random gerudo some random rito some random skull kid some random fairy :D okay post gets long so uh weeeeeee ٩(´•⌢•｀ )۶⁼³₌₃

okay okay uhhh so like theres two main like time key frames in my au kinda like oot where Time gets the master sword and everything went to shit same here Dream tries to get the master sword (and does an epic fail) Ravio gets killed aaa and Delie just goes poof since like before Dream and Ravio went to get the master sword Delie and Dream had a really heated argument but in a nutshell Delie was not believing that Dream was a hero and basically just being super in denial that there was a master sword (hm kinda sus miss girl) so Dream was like ight bet I'll prove it to you but Ravio is like uh prettyyyy sure you arent ready (at this point Dream has freed all the heros but he's still missing one orb but he doesnt know that dkjcnhfbgjhc) and that sets up the 2nd half of the au where its Dream searching for Ravio (hes somehow convinced that they made it out alive) and Delie so this is also the part of the au where Delie goes out and meets Impa :D and they both set out on a journey to find out wtf is happening (so like Delie also freeing the princess's spirits and finding out that hyrule was not just something her dad made up but was real woahh shocker ) okay uh Ravio next so I knowww that I kinda killed them off but dw they are actually vibing back in Lorule uh this makes total sense skljdhcbhcfnbg I just thought it would be cool if like the heros of lorule and hyrule like since they are reflections die at the same time and if one of them dies like earlier than expected they get reincarnated (so like mayhaps this explains why you can restart after a game over screen since ravio over there is just chilling and uh .. not dying xD) but heres the catch ravio did get reincarnated but uh idk i dont have an explanation they are young again and dont remember shit from their past life (like helping Dream or his quest) in their past life Hilda sent them to aid Hyrule and help Dream and that led to years of their childhood just wasted trying to find the hero of hyrule (dream honestly just hid in his cave so it made ravio's job just 100x harder ;v;) and when Dream uses Legend's bracelet to travel to Lorule and he finds Ravio in a just blissful state, they are living the life in the castle with Hilda ;v; he doesnt want to even talk to them since hes scared that he would resurface any memories but Hilda is like ik they are baby but you must take them and Dream is like no >:v they are happy here and hilda goes ik dumbass I wish they could stay here but they are sage and therefore is needed to go back to hyrule >:v dream : :v

so now you have to protecc a 8 year old child (yeah we time skipped a lottt aaa) and hopefully not invoke any memories of their past life or else you will feel guilty :D yayyyyyy also Dream did have a sister until she died D: but Ravio's sister didnt die cuz like unlike Hyrule who is drowning in shit, Lorule just be vibing and is chilling so ravio's sister is just waiting... for them to come back and she doesnt even realize that her older sibling doesnt even remember her ;v; (since aryll's name in spanish is april thats gonna be ravio's sister name gosh ik im so clever/j slkjdchbgjdhcnbfghducbfg) and alsooooooo instead of having like a lorulean ver of the master sword, why not swap the weapons and have a master bow and a light sword in lorule so Dream now has an even bigger to do list

Link's To Do List Updated Version

Find all ded heros ★ Git master sword Find Ravio ★ Find Delie Find Impa Sages are now a thing Find Master Bow and more incoming shit that gods will make me do I already explained like Impa's up bringing and she would like bring peace to both of the yiga and shekiah tribes while helping Delie reawaken like Ravio did with Dream uh ... I dont got much else for her at the moment xD MINISH SAGEEEE AAA they are so smol so imagine a feisty lil minish who would beat you the fuck up if it werent for the tiny size yet shes like the most emotional person Dream would meet like she would beat up your ass, then admire the sunset and cry in the same minute and she rides Dragonflies so like I have to name her Dragonfly isnt that epic aaaa shes like the tough mom love friend and would absolutely bake Dream pies aaaa she just saw Dream being super hungry and lost and led him to a minish portal and fed him once they got to her lil house and she helped him find Four's temple ik that apprently the rito came from like the zora further down the line so like what if the zora had a civil war and they split up one became the rito and the other started to become like the zoras you would find in hyrule and legend's time so we got a zora sage named Nelly and she is super into hylian stuff and glady lets Dream into Zora's Domain (which is just a swamp at this point since like the reason the zora are enemies in the downfall timeline are because of the lack of communication between them and the hyrule kingdom and since there isnt a kingdom now thats what the civil war was about, the side that still wanted to try and communicate with hylians is the rito and the zoras are the ones who didnt but this happened like over centuries ago so Nelly is just a descendant of those who fought) and they are super hyper about just meeting Dream saying how he is the first hylian is the first one ever she has seen and they just ramble about incorrect facts about hylians like "didya know that hylians can only run for short periods of time until they faint? my grandpa swears it's true! such lazy peoples" so Nelly gibs Dream some zora costume so that he can blend in and shenanigans ensue uh I got nothing for gorons or gerudo (aside from the fact that the gerudo's desert froze and you need the rods of seasons and the sage is a badass mother who gives Dream a shit ton of sweaters since that old poncho isnt doing anything) and the rito cant fly so the sage is a lil boy who is filled with rage and tries his hardest to fly, and I got nothing for fairyrn okay okay I actually think im super smart for thinking about this but instead of having a kokiri being a sage why not let a skull kid take the stage for once? :D okay so Dream and kid Ravio (o ye when dream looks for the sages its after the timeskip so ravio would be smol) and they enter the lost woods and get ambushed by the kokiri who are determined to legit burn Dream since hes responsible (not really xlkcfhbu) for so many kokiri and young children to be turned into skullkids since he let ganon take control of the lands like before he was born dkjhcbgjcd so the kokiri are just children filled with murder intent but they are like super kind to ravio and offer them tea and while some are restraining dream the rest of the kokiri are like "hey uhhh *sweats* dont look at that we are just playing tag! yeahhhh anyways wanna some cookies?" towards ravio and the burning is about to start until a kokiri stops them and its set up in a way that you would go oh she must be the sage cool but haHAHAH you were fooled for a sec cuz shes not the sageee a skullkid isss uh no idea how to introduce her just know that she starts with lost of angry towards Dream then comes to realize that its not his fault that she became a lost child and vows to help him and tada sage :D O also would like to mention that the kokiri and the skullkids have the same masks like the kokiri have the leaf mask like the koroks and the skullkids have the same leaves mask but they are more wilted so they both look unsettling but they are sweet

children ;v; also since the kokiri have been wearing masks for so long they dont have faces anymore kinda like their skullkid brethren but they decided to carry the burden with them uh yeahhhh thats all I have for now :D uh if you made it this far, I genuinely thank you and pls have this cookie :D!!

#im on like three hours of sleep and a hell lot of milk tea and I think that these are good sage ideas ;v;#hero's reminiscence #uh yeeeeeeee this took me like a hour oh gosh time went woooosh #idk what else to put here xD uh hello there lskdjnchcfnhubg

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365days365movies · 3 years

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March 16, 2021: Legend (Review)

I get why people like this movie. The one solitary reason.

I mean, he’s great. And I’ll get into it, I promise. But OK, other than that, this movie looks great, it really does. And as fantasies go, it’s OK. Ridley Scott, when making this, really studied old fantasy stories pretty intently, by all accounts. And did that work?

Well, this movie basically single-handedly killed the fantasy genre in film for about 15 years, so...mixed results?

OK, OK, that’s entirely unfair, I know. During this time period, fantasy films were EVERYWHERE. Hell, I’ll be watching a film this month that came out during the same year as Legend. Plus, Brazil and Return to Oz, two of my favorite fantasy films from the time period, came out during this year.

After it, Jim Henson released both Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal, and...actually, wait? Was I completely wrong? For some reason, for YEARS, I was under the impression that Legend was the end of the fantasy boom, but it actually came out during the peak of the ‘80s fantasy boom, and preceded other films like Willow, the Studio Ghibli fantasy movies, Highlander...a lot, it turns out.

OK, so I was completely wrong, and I have NO IDEA where I got that idea from in the first place. Very weird. Maybe the bad reputation of this movie just corrupted its legacy SO SEVERELY, that somebody told me that once and I totally believed it. And based on what I think of this movie...

Well, let’s get into it, huh? Recap is here and here!

Review

Cast and Acting: 5/10

Tom Cruise and Mia Sara are terrible in this movie. Sorry. They’re not good. They may not be the worst, but they DEFINITELY aren’t good. And maybe that’s because they’re trying to gel with the fantasy tone, but it DOES NOT WORK. They’re just...they’re not good, OK? David Bennent is OK, Billy Barty and Cork Hubbert are fun, and Annabelle Lanyon is kind of awkward, not gonna lie. However, um...

Yeah, those 5 points belong to Tim Curry. BECAUSE TIM CURRY IS FUCKING GREAT IN THIS MOVIE. Man, I know, I know for a goddamn fact that this is Tim Curry, BUT I CAN’T TELL!!! Dude disappears into the role of Darkness, and he is goddamn FLAWLESS IN IT. Of everybody in this movie, he may be the only one that fully and successfully blends into the tone of of this film, and this is an iconic performance for a reason. He’s just...SO GODDAMN GOOD. I FUCKING GET IT, OK?

Plot and Writing: 5/10

I can’t tell if the writing for Darkness is good, or if Tim Curry’s just great at delivering his lines However, I’m gonna go for the latter, because all of the other writing in this film (by William Hjortsberg) is...fine. It’s not amazing, but it isn’t bad. There’s some fantasy-based charm laced in lost lines and scenes, and it’s nice and fun. However, the plot is probably my biggest problem, because it’s just kind of bland. Darkness is trying to kill unicorns to take over the forest, and only a pure-hearted young man can stop him, while also saving the princess. It’s the most stereotypical fantasy-esque story I’ve ever heard. Scott apparently was inspired both by Grimm’s fairy tales and Disney films, and while that influence is somewhat clear, it also somehow manages to lack the imagination of those films. Which, for a fantasy film, is especially odd.

Directing and Cinematography: 8/10

Honestly, Ridley Scott is a decent director, and this film’s not one of his worse efforts. Scott is a prolific director, and he knows how to move a camera. Is this film one of the most ‘80s films I’ve ever seen? ABSOLUTELY. A lot of it manages to look like a 1980s music video. Not that that’s all Scott’s direction, but it contributed. Meanwhile, Alex Thomson as cinematographer also does a pretty good job here. But this is another case in which the camera movement and the position aren’t the main stars, but another pleasant feature. No...no, the main reason this film looks so good...

Production and Art Design: 10/10

...IS BECAUSE THIS FILM LOOKS FUCKING GOOD. I mean, Darkness, Blix, Meg Mucklebones, Lily’s dark dress, the forests, Darkness’ citadel, Jack’s outfit, EVEN THE GODDAMN UNICORNS...it all looks fantastic. This film was nominated for the Oscars for Best Makeup, and that’s WELL deserved. In fact, what did it lose to? Oh...oh, fuck, it lost to THIS?

...Valid. Completely valid. I somewhat disagree, but goddamn, I do get it. Oof. Sorry, Legend. You still win in my book.

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Music and Editing: 7/10

So, as I’m looking this up, I’m starting to realize something: there’s a Director’s Cut. And I didn’t watch that cut. Is the cut better? Shit, I should’ve checked this beforehand! If anybody’s seen the director’s cut and the regular cut, let me know what you thought, because I am very curious. Anyway, the soundtrack for the film that I watched was done by Tangerine Dream, and it was definitely ‘80s meets fantasy. And it’s also...oddly somewhat generic in that way. It’s not bad, and it’s recognizable, but...that doesn’t necessarily mean its good. It does have a vaporwave vibe to it sometimes, though. It’s not bad, but I can’t claim that it’s amazing. The editing is similar, because it’s sometimes really good, and sometimes...less-so. It definitely has that Ridley Scott flair to it, even though the editor was Terry Rawlings. Yup, it’s the GoldenEye and The Phantom of the Opera guy again. Good times, good times. And that also means that he’s been present in every month so far. Can’t wait to see if he appears in April for some reason.

Darkness, you’re a charmer, but...it’s still a 70%.

I know it’s a cult classic, I know people enjoy it...but that also doesn’t mean it’s a good movie. HOWEVER...I am totally down to watch this with friends, mostly just because of Tim Curry. Because, again...damn. Tim Curry’s a goddamn king in this film. Miss you buddy, stay healthy!

Well, that was...interesting. And tomorrow’s St. Patrick’s Day, so...I think I know where we’re going from here. TO IRELAND...as portrayed by the United States.

March 17, 2021: Darby O’Gill and the Little People (1959)

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marcilled · 3 years

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5 years

It was 5 years ago today that a humble little minecraft server first opened its gates. 5 years ago, I started @quixol with a team of 8 friends. Today, only 4 of those original friends are still on our Staff team, and the server is a shadow of its former self.

There’s a lot I could talk about with Quixol, but before I get into it, I just want it to be known that this is a highly personal post from me. This isn’t an official announcement, but seeing as I’m an admin, it’s definitely of pertinence if you are someone who is a part of the Quixol community.

If you’re new to following me, or just don’t know what I’m talking about: Quixol is a trans-friendly minecraft server started by me and a few pals back on November 16, 2015. It’s primarily populated by folks from here on Tumblr, and is an LGBT+ only community. Over its 5 years, it’s gotten over 1600 unique players. And... Well, there’s a lot of history that took place during and after that, I can’t hope to summarize it here. You can see more on the about page on our blog.

So, yeah. Today is the 5-year anniversary of Quixol. Pretty big deal! And... we have nothing in store for today to celebrate that huge milestone. Pretty big bummer. The prior 4 years, the anniversary was the single biggest celebration of the year. We typically tried to schedule large server updates to coincide with the anniversary, just to make it feel that much more special. So, on the day that marks a whole half-decade of being online, why do we have no plans? It’s a long, complicated story. I’ll only be able to tell you my side of it. Everything written below is from my perspective, and doesn’t necessarily reflect how others think or feel.

Regardless of the lonely feeling on the server now, I just want to say, I’m really glad I could host such a fantastic community for so many years. Thank you everyone who has made the past half decade so special.

Long retrospective below (plus, discussion about Quixol’s future):

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Where to begin... All I can say at the start here is, don’t expect anything coherent, I typed this up while sleep deprived just the night before posting this, without much forethought of what I’d say in it. I just feel I need to get these feelings off my chest before I can mentally move on, you know.

Before I delve into this, I just want to put this sort of disclaimer at the top here: Despite how gloomy I make things sound throughout this post, Quixol is and was an amazing place, that I’m so glad to say I got to play such a pivotal role in. I wouldn’t trade my time here for anything. It’s been an honor to serve as an Admin over such an incredible community. I’ve seen countless new friendships forged, plenty of laughs and fun times to be had... I’ve even known several couples that met through their time on Quixol, I’ve known several people that came out or discovered more about their identity/gender/sexuality while on Quixol. It’s a great community, despite its flaws, and what we did over these past 5 years is nothing short of spectacular. I’m forever thankful for everyone who helped make this place as special as it is- you’ve all been such great friends. Thank you.

While I may speak a great deal about some of the lowest lows that happened on Quixol, you better believe it had some of the highest highs as well. Keep that in mind, so you know why I’m spending this much time and effort to commemorate this server that I’ve called home for so long.

I’ll start here with a rough timeline of Quixol... I’ll even include some screenshots for you all.

Old World (Nov. 2015 - Mar. 2017, mc 1.8 - 1.9)

Quixol began back in 2015 like I mentioned- whitelisted at first, but moved on to being unwhitelisted at a later date (I believe it was summer of 2016). Hundreds of people joined after the whitelist was removed, in just the first month or so. We owe that initial success to how much our blog post about the server got shared around, it served as a nice advertisement for the server. It was only posted to tumblr, so everybody who joined then was from the same sort of social sphere of 2016 tumblr. It was pretty lively, and we made lots of friends very quickly. A lot never logged in again after the first initial burst, but a fair amount stuck around.

The server started on minecraft version 1.8, which was before the end update that introduced elytra & all the controversial combat changes. Most people never even saw the server on this version, though, since it was still whitelisted when we updated to 1.9. The world we used back in 2015-2016 eventually got deleted at a later date, however we did provide an archive of this old world to download, it’s... somewhere on our blog, you can go find it if you poke around a bit. (Assuming the download hasn’t been removed from the website I uploaded it to, which would make sense since it’s just 20 gb sitting on some server doing nothing).

While there was plenty of merriment, there was also the fair share of drama. I can’t even hope to recall all the drama that happened in 2016, but one of our og mods got banned completely after the rest of the staff sort of woke up to the realization they were incredibly abusive. There’s lots of other stuff that happened then- I wish I could tell the “full tale” as it were, but it would be so long-winded that almost nobody would bother to read. Plus, my memory isn’t very good, so I would need to dig through old blog posts, discord messages, screenshots, etc etc to jog my memory... way too much work.

Protos (Mar. 2017 - Nov. 2018, mc 1.11 - 1.12)

2017 came around, and that’s when we updated the server to 1.11 and created a new world (Protos). That update happened on March 26, 2017- I remember because march 26th is my birthday, and the other staff made a cute little celebration for me on that day and I literally cried from how happy I was. It was the nicest thing anyone’s done for me in a long time. (God, I miss those times.)

A lot more happened during this time period, and honestly I’d consider the period in which Protos was our main, active world to be the most consistently active the server has ever been. It wasn’t always exploding with activity, but the people who joined and played during this time were consistent. And we had a relatively consistent influx of new players.

There was a lot more drama that happened during this time... More staff members left, mostly of their own accord (but never on a wholly positive note). Drama amongst some of the veteran/long-time players, arguments over how to interpret and enforce our rules.

Regardless of the troubles, I’d say this period was overall quite positive for Quixol. We even brought in our first batch of new staff members during this period.

Ghalea (Nov. 2018 - Present, mc 1.13 - 1.15)

I believe late 2018 was when we updated the server from 1.12 to 1.13. We rushed the update to this version quite a lot, which was a shame since it ensured the server had an egregious amount of bugs to work out, and lots of missing plugins/functionality. With this update, we made another new world (and, our current main world): Ghalea.

Regardless of buggy behavior, we managed to hit what I believe is the all-time peak concurrent player count we have ever gotten, which is something like 54-56 players playing at the same time. The server chugged so hard, I’m surprised it didn’t crash. All of those parties were so stressful to put on, but at the same time, incredibly fun and fulfilling to see when lots of people showed up and had a good time.

Funny, though: despite the success of the server, 2018 and early 2019 are the closest the server has ever gotten to absolutely tearing itself apart from internal staff drama. By early-mid 2019, several staff members ended up getting banned one after the other. So that left us with very few staff by that point (only 6 active staff, myself included, if I remember correctly).

2019 should have been a great year for Quixol, seeing as it was what many people referred to as the “minecraft renaissance”, “the great minecraft revival”, etc etc etc. However, the drama amongst the staff, coupled with drama in our personal lives, and just an all around lack of staff members to kick things into gear, resulted in a pretty lackluster year compared to the previous 4 years.

Despite all of that, we worked tirelessly to complete our greatest project yet, Chroma Park, just before our 4th anniversary on Nov 16th, 2019. It took a whole team of builders to complete, and several months in preparation/building.

With such a grand project completed, you would expect it would result in a flurry of new activity on the server... unfortunately, it ended up being almost the opposite. Because we called upon our “build team” to help with it, (several talented veteran players who volunteered their building skills), nearly all of our active players suffered some serious burnout after the major project they just completed. Lots of people just weren’t feelin’ up to minecraft anymore... And, that spelled the beginning of the end, really.

The culmination of this was that, going into 2020, activity on the server just... plummeted. Then, we all know what a shit year 2020 turned into. That just furthered feelings of burnout. I made another personal post about this, back in April- explaining why I had been relatively absent from the server for a while. It goes into more detail about the “hiatus” at that time, what caused it, why it continued so long, and how my personal feelings were at that time. Give it a read if you want. It even goes more in-depth about some of Quixol’s former staff, and how toxic behavior from them may have negatively impacted the community (especially in 2018-2019).

So, basically nothing has happened on Quixol in 2020... I took the time to update the server from 1.14 to 1.15 back in July, just so that the server was on a more stable version of minecraft- but all the effort poured into that resulted in basically nothing happening. Barely anyone even noticed, because it was such a minor update focusing on bug fixes. I hoped it would get the ball rolling again, but it just wasn’t enough.

While I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel just yet, I decided it was for the best if I put any plans on the backburner for a while, and focus more attention on building infrastructure back up again. I spent some time researching sysadmin stuff, and looking into upgrading my PC. I set up a new discord bot that we’re currently using on Quixol, & have in a few other discord servers I’m active in.

Then, I got tossed one of the most difficult months of my life in a long time pretty recently. It’s very recent/fresh, but suffice it to say, a decent chunk of what made it such a horrible month was related to drama within the Quixol friend group, particularly... me being a shitty friend. I made another post about this a while back, but I won’t link it since it’s a bit vague and not super relevant to what I’m talking about here. Just know, September this year pretty much demolished any feelings of hope I had for continuing work on Quixol.

So, that leads us to... Today. The 5th anniversary of Quixol.

Where did it all go wrong?

Now that I’ve laid out as quick a summary of the past 5 years as I could, I want to talk about some of the mistakes we made along the way. The people that made Quixol what it is, and how that history always seems to tie me down.

To tell you the truth, saying that “it all went wrong” sounds horribly pessimistic to me. Sure, I felt pessimistic going into writing this, but... Just looking back on everything we��ve accomplished, there’s never really a point where it “went wrong”. Moreso, Quixol has had its fair share of flaws baked in from the very beginning. But, perhaps those flaws are what made it what it really is. I can’t go back and change the past, and neither can you. Perhaps the best we can do is just accept Quixol for what it is, and acknowledge its shortcomings while allowing ourselves to feel happy about the good memories we do have.

While I’m not going to cast away every pleasant memory I have of Quixol, I must admit I find so many of them tainted and forever changed, just because of how many people entered this community, made their stay known, then left or were cast away on a sour note. There are countless people that were a huge part of Quixol, of my life, my friends, that I don’t speak to anymore. People that hate me. Maybe even some that I hate.

If I go back and think fondly of those times, I remember how the people in those memories largely don’t think fondly of me anymore. I remember all of my mistakes, all of the ways I could have avoided that outcome. All the ways I could have worked with those friends, to work out our differences, to just fucking communicate. Sure... some of those friends, there was nothing I could do for them. Nothing I could do to make things work. But, all the same... it stings, thinking of everyone I used to know. Not knowing who is still a friend, or who simply has no need for me anymore...

So much of Quixol’s history is tied up in knots this way. Complicated webs of emotion, suffocating in the tethers to its past. So many things built on the server, just wasting away, never to be touched again... New players won’t even know it. They don’t know, can’t know the history behind those blocks that were placed. It sounds a bit silly talking about it this way, but that’s how it feels to me. There’s real history behind each of these blocks, all of the little farms and structures and silly signs. So much of it, nobody even knows. But it wears on my heart, knowing all of that history, and feeling so disconnected from it. Feeling cast away by the people who forged those memories.

It’s a disconnect that’s always hurt, to me. Maybe I’m just too sentimental, nostalgic. Maybe I cling to the past too much. But it feels impossible to ignore... So much of what made Quixol what it is today was left there by people who want nothing to do with me, us, anymore. What does that say about Quixol? About me...? About our group?

There’s a lot I could say about this, but it’s stuff I’ve mentioned before. I hang on too tightly to the past, and am often too critical of my own mistakes. But, sometimes the past is just the way it is, and there’s not much that can be done about it. Regardless, I find myself feeling regrets about every little thing that went wrong, and thinking about where all those people are now... Maybe one of them is even reading this right now. If you’re out there, hey. We can still talk. I’m not going to hold a grudge on you forever. It’s ok.

My influence

Since Quixol began in 2015, I’ve tried my best to be nothing more than an “Admin” of Quixol... not the “owner” or “lead admin” or “founder”, just “admin”. I hoped I could encourage the other admins to be leaders in their own rights. While each of the admins we’ve had has been great leaders in their own respect, I feel that every one of them has been, unfortunately, tied down by my influence to some extent.

In most aspects of life, I’m a very timid, indecisive person. I’m incredibly anxious, and lack confidence to a worrying degree. However, a different side of me can be seen in the safe, comfortable environment that Quixol provided for me. Surrounded by friends and people who I felt really got me, I became comfortable enough to show some level of confidence in myself... In all honesty, for a long time, I was never able to recognize this self confidence for what it was. I really was not, and mostly still am not, used to feeling confident in myself or my own abilities. Like, at all. So when I actually feel good about myself, like I actually know what I’m doing... Well, for a really long time, I didn’t even process it as such. I just felt like I knew the right answers, and that was it.

On Quixol, this often manifested in a specific way... Being proud of my own knowledge & skills with minecraft, I would insert myself into any discussion about Minecraft, the server, or just anywhere I could, and offer up my knowledge, opinions & help. This hardly sounds like a problem, but... The problem was just in my unwavering presence. I was everywhere on Quixol, you couldn’t escape me. I dominated the space with my presence. Not that I interrupted people (usually...?), I just would try to put myself anywhere a conversation was happening, assuming it was, like, appropriate for me to do so on some level.

Whenever I chimed in with my thoughts, eventually there became this sort of air of almost... superiority about it. This feeling that my word was “final”, or that I had some layer of expertise on everything, and that if I said what you said was right, that was a pretty good indicator you were on the right track. I didn’t pretend like I was infallible, and I don’t think anyone ever saw me as that. But the perception was generally that if Vivian says it, that holds weight to it. Perhaps this is somewhat unavoidable of a staff member, but... it was this way even amongst the staff.

I never really realized that I was creating this environment within the community, because it happened rather slowly. But as things moved along, other staff began to pick up on this (perhaps subconsciously). Including even the other admins. Quickly, my own insistence on doing things a Specific Way, became “the Right Way” to do things on Quixol... Whether I intended it or not.

Now, this is something I didn’t know until quite recently, but I actually have OCD (undiagnosed, but it’s glaringly obvious to me at this point). My ocd comes out in minecraft, and specifically Quixol, quite a lot. I have very ritualistic ways of doing things, whether it be while building a project in-game, to managing specific parts of the server- we have a very detailed format in which update logs are written, and I have very specific rituals related to updating plugins on the server, taking backups, etc. Even just the way I play survival minecraft has sorts of rituals in a way, like specific patterns in which I place torches. I’m not too educated on ocd, so excuse me if I’m using some terminology of this wrong, or if I’m spreading some sort of misinformation about it. This is just my experience.

Anyhow, with the extremely regimented way I manage things on the server, coupled with my constant presence in things, you can understand how this might lead to other admins, who have their own mental illness issues, to become very averse to doing a lot of admin-related duties. After months and months, years, even, of this sort of stuff... and... yeah. That leads to where we are now.

With my selfish behavior in the past, I’ve unintentionally created this staff environment where people are reluctant to make their own decisions, show their own creativity, etc. And that must feel incredibly frustrating if you actually want to do something to make a difference on Quixol...

I’m not even accounting for all the times I’ve butted heads with the other staff before, either. While much less frequent, I’ve definitely had arguments with folks in the past. And with the great amount of influence I hold over the server, it takes a lot of courage to stand up to what I say.

I’ve always resented that I hold this position of power over everyone else, and tried many times to address it. However, I don’t think I ever quite had a full picture of why things were this way. Now, I think I understand it better. Sadly, it feels too little, too late to make any significant changes without uprooting pretty much everything we have set in place already. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m being too pessimistic here... But, this is how I feel at the present moment.

I’m sincerely sorry to any current or former staff members, who have wanted to do something great for Quixol, but felt they could never convince me to go through with your idea... Or who felt pushed away from doing something they otherwise would’ve liked to, just because the attitude I gave, the environment my presence created, made you feel like you weren’t good enough or qualified enough to do it. You are good enough. I’m so sorry that my actions made you convinced otherwise...

I will say, this sort of mindset of mine, that I have to be the Most Right about anything relating to minecraft, or any hyperfixation/special interest of mine, has caused problems elsewhere, too. I talked about this in another post I made. I’ve only really come to realize all this stuff within the past few months, but I’ve been a really terrible friend to a lot of people. I never even realized until recently just how often I struggle with empathy, and how that’s colored so many of my friendships. Needless to say, it’s affected things on Quixol before, sometimes without me even realizing it.

My influence over the community also means if anybody’s relations with me in particular ever become marred, it must inevitably result in them leaving the community because there’s simply no escaping me. There’s not really anything I can do about this, though, aside from doing whatever I can to become a kinder, more

I’m far from a perfect person, and my imperfections seeped into so much of what made Quixol what it is. However, it’d be silly to suggest that I’m the singular reason that Quixol is flawed, if anything, that would be another form of arrogance- assuming that I singlehandedly shaped the way Quixol took form. No, it was always a team effort, and every single staff and community member held great influence of their own.

The Future

This part is probably why many of you clicked on this post... You want to know what’s going to happen to Quixol. You likely noticed I’ve been referring to Quixol in the past tense a lot in this post. Honestly, I’m not sure why I did that, it just felt the most natural to type it that way. But, I will be honest- the future of Quixol right now isn’t looking very bright.

This is a personal post, so I don’t want to deliver any sort of formal announcement about plans for Quixol here, especially since I haven’t run this post by the other staff before posting it.

For the past 2 and a half months, I’ve been taking a very long break from Quixol. Much greater than any previous break of mine... I’ve neglected to even log in for weeks at a time. I still keep an eye on the discord server, and check the mc <-> discord bridge channel to see which players have been logging in. But I have little to no motivation to play, even just casually.

While I’d love to give you some fun cool news about how this hiatus is ending soon and I have a million and one projects planned, that simply isn’t the case. I’ve gotten to this point where I’m rethinking everything about myself, who I am, and what I’m doing with my life. Surely, I can’t dedicate all my time and energy to running a minecraft server for the rest of my life, even though I do care deeply about this community. But at the same time, it’s not really my call to shut down Quixol, and I’d hate to pull the plug just because of my own lack of motivation.

So, for the time being at least, you can probably consider Quixol to be on a sort of “indefinite hiatus”. I am generally the one to update plugins, do major server updates, etc., and I likely won’t be doing any of that any time soon. I fully entrust the other staff to handle that stuff if they really want to, and I’ve expressed that to them already. But as things stand, nobody else seems to want to pick up the torch right now. Shit is rough for pretty much everyone, and we’re all equally burnt out. We’ve all grown up quite a lot since Quixol began, too. So... Don’t expect anything anytime soon.

If there are any updates, they’ll come in our Discord server first.

As for me, personally... I just need time away from all of this. It’s clearer than ever to me that I have a lot of personal problems I need to work on, and I think that the cozy safe environment provided by Quixol didn’t challenge me enough to really address those issues. I need time to focus on myself & my own growth. At the same time, I also feel like I need more experience being a part of a team, instead of just running the show. I’m not getting the kind of enrichment I need from running Quixol, so I’m trying to turn my attention elsewhere.

I’m doing this not because I want to abandon you guys, or because I feel like I want/need to move on from this community. It’s just... Something I need to do, for myself. And I’ll still be around, I’m still gonna be posting to my tumblr & twitter and stuff, and you can still reach me on discord. I’m just focusing my time elsewhere for once.

What does that mean for the future of Quixol? I don’t really know yet. But, for now, it’s not going anywhere. It’s just... also not changing anytime soon. Not even a little bit. I’m sorry to give you this disappointing news, but I hope you all understand.

I miss the good times on Quixol, too. I really do. Maybe we can share them again sometime? Who knows...

For now, that’s all.

It breaks my heart that we don’t have anything glitzy and glamorous to do to celebrate Quixol’s 5th anniversary... But it would be asking far too much of the staff to set anything like that up right now. Maybe we can have some sort of celebration later...? I dunno.

I hope you’re all staying safe & healthy out there. Thank you so much for reading this. I love all of you.

Happy birthday, Quixol.

#vivi bleats #txt #Quixol #long post

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gukieater · 3 years

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Check-In Tag

I was tagged by @candlewaxandp0lar0ids

Sorry, it's late, I had a murderous week (not really but it felt like it because now the week is over, I'm bedridden, sick with 104°F fever)

Thank you for tagging me though love 💓

1. why did you choose your url?

It was nothing well-thought rather random. I was basically devouring Jungkook fanfics ( it seemed more popular on Tumblr, I was newly admitted in this fanfic kingdom) so that kinda inspired the url I guess?

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them

Umm, I'm not a fanfic writer. I do sometimes try to write plots for fanfic though (try!?). And no, don't have any sidebloggs. I'm trying to put together some fic recs based on category though.

3. how long have you’ve been on tumblr?

If I correctly remember it was around March, April this year? I don't exactly remember because I've been using it without an account since December, 2020 I guess. So the lines are kinda blurred.

4. do you have a queue tag?

Nopppeeee. I'm still figuring out Tumblr. (sometimes I feel dumb using it)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

To read, share & cheer on the fanfiction I was reading on Tumblr. I mean come-on they share gold stuff that's worth publishing for free! The least they deserve is all the love and appreciation the readers can give them. Huge shout-out to the big hearted writers there ❤️

6. why did you choose your icon?

I have this thing for Namjoon, I don't know how to explain it- Its like sometimes I find him so adorable that makes me weak on my knees also intimidates the hell out of me. Okay put short, because it's Namjoon- the one and only!

7. why did you choose your header?

I was having a Muster Jeon Flush 😅 (Will probably change it soon)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

It's not exactly a fic ( cause I don't write them) but a fic idea. That would be Apocalyptic Heart.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I don't know, I've never checked it

PS: I literally googled what's Mutual in Tumblr to ans it. Dumb, told yàa.

10. how many followers do you have?

Again I had to check my Tumblr to answer that question.

11. how many people do you follow?

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Nah. Rant-post maybe.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

However my schedule allows me. I may as well spend the entire day or even go days without using it.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

I don't think so, I spend most of the time reading fics on Tumblr.

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Umm, debatable. And I don't think I've come across such post yet?

16. do you like tag games?

Yeah! When I have the time to do them!

17. do you like ask games?

I love sending authors ask!

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

@sunshyngal -she's a sweetheart and I love- the sister I never had

I have so many other name but in case I miss out someone, it would be unfair. I'm kinda biased towards this woman(I feel no shame admitting and I shall not!) so I'm specifically mentioning her.

19. do i have a crush on a mutual?

Naah I don't think so.

So I'll tag - @sunshyngal @babeejk @craztextae @bibbykins @chinkbihh

Well you guys can try it if you find it interesting and willing to do it or have the time!!

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bitnotgood28 · 4 years

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Thank you @hometothecanyonmoon for tagging me!!

1) When did you become a Louie?

Embarrassingly late. I’d say around mid-April 2020, since that’s around the time I learned about Larry and joined the 1D fandom. I focused mostly on Louis and Harry and whatever they got up to, so during that I just noticed little quirks and started to pick up on their personalities. Harry is sweet and dorky and I adore him, but I love Louis’ wit and his sarcasm and his compassion, basically his character in general. Afterwards, I learned that Louis has recently released LT1, so I downloaded the entire album to give it a listen and have not stopped listening since. His whole album is a blessing, all of his music is so meaningful and touching; you’ve heard his songs and lyrics, yeah?

2) Why did you become a Louie?

Multiple reasons, the two main ones being his music and his personality. I’m not greatly interested in the type of music that’s mostly being released at present (no offense meant), and Louis’ voice is just incredibly unique, something I really like in artists. Everything that he’s written has been sincere and expressive, like a touch of rawness in them, especially when he sings. There’s just so much emotion behind every word and note, and his voice!! It has the sweetest rasp to it and his voice has gotten stronger and more powerful over the years, yet it can still be soft and light like during the bridge in Defenceless. He is also such a sweetheart, treating everyone kindly and with understanding unless he thinks they’re undeserving of it. The way he socialize with children and animals makes my heart melt, he looks so happy and excited during those interactions with his crinkling eyes and his smile-goodness, he is truly God’s gift.

3) One thing that drew you in specifically?

Easily his charisma and satire. His humor and jokes always stood out to me during interviews, his quips are just hilarious, that sweet boy. He draws attention to himself and leaves an imprint on you, and you get attached to him and his personality and his cheekbones-essentially his entire being. I was also kind of irritated with the amount of lines he and Niall were given compared to the other boys, so I paid more mind to the two of them (along with Harry) at the beginning. I think it’s also because I tend to notice those who aren’t as noticed or not quite under the spotlight-is that they proper description? Anyway, between Louis and Niall I wound up taking more of a liking to Louis with his sass and his cheek and his eyelashes. Man, is he even real? He’s so sweet and genuine, he’s endured so much and has continued to stand strong after each blow; it’s as heartbreaking as it’s inspiring. I just want to wrap him in a blanket and take him far away from all the cruelty present in the world, maybe feed him some tacos and stroke his hair until he falls asleep. He can still joke around and enjoy life while also doing his job and doing it brilliantly, might I add. I feel like he’d be a wonderful best friend to have, empathetic and supportive, someone you’d be able to stir up chaos with but also who’d keep your moral compass pointing in the right direction. Honestly, I’m quite certain that God created him with the thought of sunshine and sunflowers in His head.

4) Favorite song on Walls?

Oo, that’s difficult. I love Always You, its tempo and it’s tune are just really lively and upbeat. I’ve also got a special place in my heart for the lyrics of Fearless (God, that second verse and chorus and first verse - the whole song), Defenceless (“I come running to you like a moth into a flame,”? “I’m too tired to be tough, just wanna be loved by you,”???), Only For the Brave (“It’s a church of burnt romances and I’m too far gone to pray,” “All the lonely shadow dances from the cradle to the grave,” this song is so lyrically poetic and I love every second of it), and Two of Us (the bridge.. God it’s so melancholy yet somewhat hopeful[?]). Kill My Mind also has this great indie rock sound to it, I’d gladly listen to it for hours. I.. am realizing that this absolutely does not answer the question, but I hope you now understand how good Louis’ songs are and how much I love them <333

5) Who would you want Louis to collab with?

Okay, I took a bit of time on this and I think one would be Alessia Cara. I’d really like to hear how they would sound together, considering how unique and distinctive both of their voices are individually, and how the music they produced would mesh with each other. Another would probably be Ed Sheeran, lyrically I think they’d be quite powerful like Louis and Alessia, but I’m not sure how they’d sound as a unit. It’d be interesting to hear though, I’m sure. Last is Harry, and if you’ve heard edits and that duet in the chorus of Truly, Madly, Deeply, you know what I’m talking about and you know how good they sound together.

6) Favorite Hairstyle?

Peaky blinders is one, he looked like a sweet little hedgehog during that time. Cinnamon swirl is also high on the list. He looked like actual royalty (I mean when doesn’t he, but this is god tier princely) and everything was right in the world. He was just- the living embodiment of delicate. His messy quiff and messy fringe back in 2013-2014 were just.. so attractive? Those hairstyles also make me miss seeing his full face :((

7) Back to You, Just Hold On, or Miss You?

(where is the Just Like You option)

I love the lyrics and meaning behind Just Hold On, it’s all really hopeful and motivating. The whole song was really well done, Louis and Steve Aoki did such a good job. Miss You also has a great sound to it, and you can really hear his accent throughout the whole song (fook, luv, anova, need I go on). I also love the bit of violin (I think it’s a violin) they added in the second pre-chorus and final chorus? It adds kind of like a lighter factor to the heavy guitar and drums already present in the song, and some sort of assurance that everything will be okay (I’m bad at describing things I’m sorry akdjsjdj). Back to You, God the notes they hit during that song.. beautiful (“We don’t know how to make it stop,” and “I love it, I hate it and I can’t take it,”). Can I also just say that Louis and Bebe both looked really, really attractive during that music video? Like damn please hold back on the extra chili, it’s already hot in here.

8) Louis in suits or sweaters?

Louis in suits is just.. all his assets (ha) are accentuated and he looks so sharp and beautiful, his shoulders just a bit broader, and his curves more defined. Then when he wears blue suits, his eyes are just that much more blue. Louis in sweaters, on the other hand: sunflowers incarnate, sunshine and kittens, a soft heated blanket with socked feet and a fireplace while snow falls softly outside the window. He looks so, so warm and huggable and sweet with his sweater paws- imagine being his friend and being able to cuddle him? Just snuggle and chat about what he’s got prepared for LT2, maybe watch a horror movie. God truly has His favorites. In conclusion: Louis in sweaters.

9) Favorite tattoo?

I think the compass was really well made, like the shading and the contours make it look almost lifelike. Then it points to HOME, which I think is so sweet and personal, like he already knows what ‘home’ is to him and he’s sure that that’s where he’d want to go back to, every time without a doubt. I also like the “It Is What It Is” tattoo, it’s written elegantly, kind of like a Ballantines font and it’s definitely an eye-catcher, displayed on his chest. The stag one also isn’t bad, its right eye is just a bit more bugged out than the other. It makes it a lil more special though, it’s easily identifiable as Louis’ tattoo because of that and the antlers are sort of majestic.

10) Favorite Louis photo (currently)?

I am going to pretend I read that as ‘photos’ because I am an indecisive little shit :))

(HELLOOOO HE LOOK LIKE THE SWEETEST HEDGEHOG // He is just- in his element, he is living up there)

(He makes the tousled hair look so good what the hell // Does this need elaboration, I mean, his smile literally powers everything on earth, and the crinkles by his eyes, and his sweater, and his lil canines, and-)

(Please God he is. Ethereal. Stunning. Perfect. In both photos, his eyes are just. Bright. And the cinnamon swirl, I- I’ve ascended to a higher plane of existence. He’s just so beautiful. Gorgeous really.)

11) Random extra?

When one is given the opportunity to express their love for Louis Tomlinson’s accent, one must accept.

His accent is like. Familiar, a bit like home (no, I’m not English), and I love that he’s been able to keep it even after years of living abroad. He has one of those accents where you can tell it’s present even when he sings, and when he uses endearments, God, it’s just so charming and sweet. It’s also really strong and distinctive, you can tell who he is by the first syllable or word he says. It’s a part of who he is and I love it so much and I love him so much, Jesus Christ akjskjd

I had fun being able to talk about Louis in this, there’s so much to him and every bit of it is another ray of sunshine <333

I tag @adorelou-28, @makethebestofwhatyouget, @28-oops-hi, and anyone else who wants to do this, no compulsions :))

#thank you Rae!!#i swear its been weeks since ive been tagged to do this and i am so sorry aldjakdjjd #tag games

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allie1804-fan · 4 years

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New Beginnings (Chapter 5)

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New Beginnings Baby Drabble

New Beginnings Baby Drabble No2

April came along with another period and her girlfriends wanting her to help plan a baby shower for Chloe the following month. She lied and told them she had too many work deadlines, desperate to get out of it – she was slipping into depression. Keanu did his best to comfort her and raise her spirits but things were getting way out of hand.

It started to sink in that she needed help when he took a call from her agent asking where some material was that was a week past its deadline. He covered for her, telling her what Emily had told him for the past 2 days that she’d lain in bed – that she had a stomach bug - but he knew it wasn’t physical sickness ailing her. It fully struck him on the 3rd day when he was looking for some paperwork in their office and he found temperature and ovulation charts that Emily had done even whilst he was on the shoot and there was basically no need for them. She was obsessed.

He sighed, made a cup of tea and took it to her in the bedroom.

“can we talk?” he asked gently

“mmmm” she said sleepily, taking the tea from him.

“I think we should take a break”

“from what? Each other?”

“God no, no I mean some time away, and maybe some time not thinking about the whole baby thing if we can. I don’t mean stop trying but I think, I think it’s making you sick, sick in your soul and it’s,” He ran his hand through his hair struggling to find the right words “the stress it’s too much. I took a call yesterday from your agent and she said you’d missed a deadline. That’s not like you. I think maybe we should get some help.”

“you mean fertility treatment?”

“Maybe but I was thinking more about counselling. And maybe a health check if you like? If it will reassure you”

“Maybe you’re right. I know I can’t go on like this” she said sadly

“where would you like to go? We can go anywhere, anywhere in the world, no expense spared”

Emily thought for a moment

“Taormina, in Sicily and specifically the Hotel San Domenico”

“Wow that’s a very precise request!”

“Don’t you remember that film I showed you with Rosanna Arquette, Jean Marc Barr and Jean Reno? The one about free diving?”

“The Big Blue?”

“Yeah – The hotel San Domenico is where they stay, I’ve always, always wanted to go there but it was way out of my budget. And I wanna find the restaurant where they have spaghetti frutti del mare on the terrace overlooking the sea.”

“your wish is my command!” he smiled.

10 days later they found themselves sitting at that very restaurant from the film - La Scogliera Restaurant in Capo Taormina.

Emily hadn’t been able to resist ordering the sea-food spaghetti that they ate in the film though Keanu had gone for the grilled fish. As they sat back after their

Emily leaned back in her chair eyes shut, letting the sun warm her skin.

“you seem more relaxed than you have in a long time love” Keanu said softly brushing her cheek with the back of his fingers. She leaned into his touch, sighing with pleasure.

“I am” she said, opening her eyes, a sweet smile gracing her lips. “Thank you for bringing me here, for getting me to get off the treadmill for a while , oh and for spending a small fortune on the best suite in the hotel!”

Keanu had booked the Garden Suite, which had a rooftop terrace and mini pool setting them back around $1900 a night. It was a drop in the ocean to him though he didn’t usually go so upscale but he wanted perfection for this trip. Emily deserved the best.

“You’re worth every penny – and you can’t take it with you can you! And we both needed the break I think, from everything, not just from that stress but from work and deadlines too”

“mmmm makes me not want to go back !”

“I know, but we have to hun, but we’ll be OK, we’ll book in with that counsellor right? The one I saw after Ava and Jen, she was good”

Emily nodded, they’d talked a lot already during this trip about their fears and worries and even their aggravations with each other but it still felt like they would benefit from some professional help to cope with where they found themselves. Whilst it was sad to leave after their week’s hideaway, they both felt much more ‘on the same page’ and ready to get back to reality.

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New Beginnings Baby Drabble

New Beginnings Baby Drabble No2

#keanu #keanu reeves #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #romance #angst #trying for a baby

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whats-the-story-tc · 4 years

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21st of April, 2020

"The One with the Fairy Tale"

(Pssst! If I were you, I'd read this post first before starting this new one!)

I cannot believe this is my life.

A couple minutes before the 8 AM rush hour, a Google Classroom notification from V arrived. Then another. Someone likes a spam, I thought, before opening the first one.

Sigh of relief. It was only the essay I'd already sent her. On to the next one, the detailed info on what we were covering today. The play on the table is both figuratively and literally a fairy tale. V, pretty critical of the play and its character work itself, made sure to bring one particular monologue to our attention, which tackles a rather difficult topic in a pretty simple play about love and longing — human mortality. "(It's my particular favourite, too, but don't let that influence you.)" She wrote after explaining what it was. The last paragraph though, now that was something else. "For those of you interested in an A level (here you imagine me looking at certain people)" she began, and my eyes widened as I read it. Sure, there are literature buffs in both classes, but... I can't help but think it was first and foremost an indirect to me. I mean, I'm probably the biggest nerd out of all of us, and she's always looking at me anyways... I want to dream big and say she wanted me to see it most. I mean, it's a link to an incredibly long essay. The situation speaks for itself.

"Look at this silence," V said as she entered our server at around 11 AM. Once she was here, we (as in all of us) started chatting about the break and quarantine. "It has been Sunday for two months." I declared, V immediately continuing the thought: "That part of Sunday, no less, where the line between the previous week and the next one blurs." Couldn't have said it better myself.

As V spoke about the story, I just leaned back on my bed, letting myself get immersed in the explanation and the sound of her voice while trying to imagine everything. After a while, it all started sounding like the plot of Mozart's opera, The Magic Flute — especially when V said that our protagonists, a human boy and a fairy girl, both had companions of the same sex along the way. And as soon as she said those companions are actually married, I waited for her to take a tiny break in speaking and said "How surprising." According to Bookworm Friend, she laughed, but I couldn't hear it clearly because someone made a noise. Then she said "Obviously..." and basically shaded the whole plot line, though I don't remember the rest of the sentence. And guess what she brought up immediately? That's right. The Magic Flute. I was floored! "That's what I was thinking, too!" I chimed in immediately. She took the words out of my mouth! And, soon as I said that, I got a text from Bandana Friend.

BanF: "Wow the twinning"

It's official, folks. Even from a distance, V and I are sharing a braincell.

Serious shit went down in class, including pointing out some... very suggestive imagery that caught us all off-guard because the thing she mentioned isn't inherently suggestive, but okay, V, you do you. (Obviously, I'm not going into detail here, nor sharing the conversation Bandana Friend and I had here because... this is simply not the platform.)

But what I can share is a really funny bit that caused a bit of a pandemonium in the separate class chat none of our teachers are in. You see, about half an hour into class, The Boyfriend sneezes with what is probably the volume of a medium-sized family house collapsing. About five seconds of absolute comical silence follows, then we just hear V saying "Sorry. I'm sorry." before carrying on. All this caused quite the stir, featuring texts like:

BanF: "The whole house just quaked"

and

Classmate: "Jesus who was this 😂😂"

Classmate: "Tell me it wasn't [V]"

S: "No, her man"

Classmate: "Good heavens I thought it was her 😂😂"

and

S: "I laughed so hard that I thank God I was on mute"

So yeah. That's on that. Bit later, with the words mentioned here, V ended class, and there I was, on Cloud 9, dancing around my room and humming Disney songs from the sudden serotonin charge. That was probably the moment I decided to read the play V spoke about. You see, she didn't assign it because the wording is quite difficult (the text is quite old) and students usually struggle with it, but she said that we wouldn't lose anything by reading it, if we wanted to. And thus it happened that I sat down on my balcony at around 5 PM with the first chapter open on my phone, ready to read.

I knew she'd be right. I trust her opinion and my reading comprehension skill suffers at the stake of my absolute inability to concentrate for longer than 10 seconds. But guys. Some of the longer sections I had to go over at least three times before I understood what was going on! An hour or so must've passed when I read the last line of the first chapter, and the butterflies in my stomach took flight. It was time to text V about it. It was my original plan, anyway. Figure out how right she was, then tell her about it. I was already incredibly nervous, trying to stick to what I'd planned on writing. My fingers typed on autopilot and as soon as I was done, I could barely believe I was actually going through with this. But alas, you only live once, carpe that fucking diem. One big breath. Two biiiiig breaths.

Send.

S: "Well, Miss, I'm not saying you were right about the text of [the play], but I've only read Chapter 1 and I'm already doubting if I even speak [my native tongue]... 😅"

I immediately tossed the phone on my bed and ran away panicking. What will she say? How will she react to seeing it's me again? What does she think? Am I funny enough? Am I bothering her? When will she reply?

Half a minute later (!!!), I see the icon of The Platform That Shall Not Be Named on my screen. No. No. No. Nonononononono. I picked the phone up and unlocked it with a shaking hand. I was not prepared for what I was about to read.

V: "Hahaha, well, babydoll...You do. You're just not used to [the old-timey wording]."

I only had the time to sink to my knees, eyes wide, lips agape, when the next message followed.

V: "Though, once you're already through it, I'm curious about your opinion on the play's stageability. 😄 (given such a word exists)"

You bet your asses all air left my lungs. Not only did she call me babydoll again, now in a way that I could forever remind myself of it, but she basically just prompted another conversation! She wants to talk to me again! And I'll have you reminded, V's basically trusting my judgement based on the scriptbook I showed her at the dawn of time, that she'd never actually seen in action! I wonder what I did to earn all this trust...

S: "I'll see at the end and tell you :)"

V: "Alright :))"

Then, all brave from the double smiley, I had a really stupid and impulsive thought. (Don't yell.) Me being the little shit that I am, I googled stageability and took a screenshot of no results having been found. I took a screenshot, cropped it and sent it to V, my head being completely empty as I did. I acted purely from gut feeling.

S: "Tough luck this time, it seems😄"

V: "i thought so!"

(I can only hope she took it as a joke. But, the way I know her, she probably understood. Still, the me of right now, exactly two days and two minutes later, wouldn't do it.)

And this is where it ended. This is where I ended. My hands, my legs, even my lips were trembling as I tried to process the sudden load of emotion overcoming me. What did I just do. What did we do. What happened here. All this just echoed in my head, and I went ahead and texted every friend I wanted to tell in all caps.

BanF: "WOAAHHHH"

BanF: "you guys have really warmed up to each other"

Even now, as I was typing, I got the chills just thinking about this conversation. If it wasn't for the 'Miss' and my use of formal pronouns in the very first text, it would've just felt like two friends, who happen to both love literature, talking. And this really warms my heart, because there's this fantastic woman, who I genuinely think is one of the best influences on my life and... she just likes me for me. She immediately answers when she can, comes off genuinely happy to talk to me, prompts another thing I can tell her about and all but tells me that my opinion matters to her. Because this is her. I'm almost convinced that I will never hear her outright say that she likes me or she's proud of me, but, should I have any doubts, she does everything to let me know. I just misunderstand her sometimes, not knowing where to look.

When I tell you all this still doesn't feel real...

~ S ♡

[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]

#tc #tcc #teacher crush community #female tc #female teacher crush

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makeste · 5 years

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tumblr note counter thing!

so this is a nifty thing that goes through your blog and counts your original posts (not reblogs) and how many notes they’ve received, and which ones are the most popular. and you can then posts the results if you so desire. which, I figured, hey why not.

so it seems I have received 26,273 notes on 883 original posts. I had no idea I’d made that many original posts. BnHA definitely accounts for a good chunk of them by this point, and I guess I’ve made more original KHR posts than I thought. anyways wow. so here are the top nine, because for some reason it didn’t do a top ten. which to me feels kind of incomplete, but I’ll try not to let it eat away at my soul.

1). “these are not kings, but princes” - 26 June 2018

my super sentimental KHR essay about adolescence and the nostalgia of youth and all the emotions I still get whenever I reread/watch this series. I’m still kind of floored by the reception this post has gotten tbh, but I’m thrilled it resonated with so many people.

2). “BnHA Bonus Rant #5 - All for One for All” - 16 June 2019

my attempting-to-piece-all-this-shit-together theory about the true origins of One for All, and how its potential ties to All For One may run much deeper than we thought. I used up all my brainpower on this theory my dudes. so go ahead and do your worst Horikoshi.

3). “BnHA 222″ - 29 March 2019

here’s a theory that actually did get jossed -- or at least it currently seems that way. I still stubbornly believe that AFO gave Tenko the Decay quirk, even if it no longer appears that he fucked with his memories in any way. call me crazy, but I still think the most evil bastard in the world may have had more of a hand in the exceptionally devastating and suspiciously opportune events that went down in the Shimura home that night.

4). “here’s a small piece of evidence for the twin theory” - 18 March 2019

this is honestly @baezetsu’s post, not mine. they did all the research. all I did was respond to the ask and ooh-and-ahh and then the post just blew up. anyways this is more evidence that Fuyumi and Touya are twins. basically their names can be interpreted to mean “fire bow” and “light arrow”, respectively. Horikoshi you clever bastard.

5). “KHR 064 - This is When They Got Me” - 13 July 2018

lol I had no idea this post had reached 300 notes oh shit. anyways so that would make this far and away my most popular recap, and it’s for KHR! specifically the chapter where Gokudera DIVES in front of Tsuna and takes a potentially fatal blow for him and Me From Ten Years Ago is all “!!!!!!!!” and realizes I would die for this boy.

6). “my biggest takeaway from BnHA 223″ - 05 April 2019

this is the post where I was like “oh, maybe Ground Zero will be his hero name after all.” little did I know that twenty chapters later Horikoshi would come along and be all “actually here’s some evidence that Best Jeanist nudged him towards choosing the name you originally theorized all along”! and of course, Kacchan being Kacchan and Horikoshi being Horikoshi, we still don’t fucking know what he actually picked. maybe I haven’t made it clear enough how badly I want it. maybe if I bombard the manga with one-star ratings on the app store he’ll finally start listening.

7). “the new BakuDeku status quo” - 12 April 2019

so this was basically an impromptu essay about how Bakugou and Deku are Best Friends Now By My Estimates which admittedly may be slightly biased. nah, but seriously, Bakugou totally has his back and it’s incredible. have I been praying for this since chapter one? absolutely. did I actually think it would happen so soon and so blatantly? hell no. we are blessed.

8). “BnHA Bonus Rant #4 - Bakumom” - 20 February 2019

yo guys I was honestly so anxious about posting this. I feel like talking about Mitsuki in this fandom is akin to tap dancing around a landmine. but it’s not really something I could avoid talking about forever given how often I essay about Bakugou, so eventually I just went for it and this was my best effort. it has gone over a lot better than I expected, and it makes me think this fandom is way more chill than it gets credit for, honestly. I got anxious for nothing. people are cool.

9). “BnHA Chapter 231 - hEY WHAT THE FUCK” - 07 June 2019

lol and last but not least, finally an actual BnHA recap. so this was the chapter in which A CERTAIN BEDENIMED SOMEONE was found to be FUCKING MISSING and then implied to have been FUCKING MURDERED and UNCEREMONIOUSLY STUFFED INTO A DUFFEL BAG by a MEDIUM-SIZED DIURNAL BIRD OF PREY. !! you know what that is? that is Not Cool, that’s what that fucking is. anyways fandom was all “hahaha what” and so this got a ton more notes than usual lmao. we’re all still just trying to laugh it off. maybe if we act unconvinced enough, Horikoshi will relent and be all “yeah I was just joshing.” right, Horikoshi? right? right??

and that’s it! my top nine posts! and it turns out there is another thing on that site that lets you count your top ten, and my 10th biggest is actually the recap for chapter 242 which I posted just a couple weeks ago. the one where class 1-A saves Christmas. so anyway, this was fun. it’s cool to look back. and a full 8 out of 10 of these posts are just from the last year, too. who says tumblr is dying. or maybe that just goes to show how out of sync I am with trends and shit lol.

#tumblr #makeste reads bnha #khr #bnha meta #bnha spoilers #credit to @catalists for linking the counter thing on their blog #there used to be all kinds of things like this for lj but I rarely see them for tumblr #so this is cool!

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writtenbysk · 4 years

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Well, hello

I’ve missed you.

I really would rather find a notebook, or a journal. I like to have pen to paper contact.

But I guess typing will do.

But I don't know what to type about...

So I guess here it goes.

It’s 7:25am on April 14th, 2020.

I woke up to the sounds of my love crawling into bed with me for some morning cuddles. He slept on the couch last night. He’s been working super hard getting his business up and going. Pulling 12 hour days. I just started my period, so he wanted to fuck my ass. I love that.

Times are weird, there’s an outbreak of a virus going around. Covid-19.

I had my doctor write me a letter excusing me from work until it goes away. That's another story.. hurtful, disappointing. I’ll try to keep it short. A good work friend, basically broke up with me because she was upset that I did not show up for work when I had told my manager I was going to be out. I get it, I waited til that absolute last second to tell them I wasn't going to be coming in that day, but it was a miscommunication error on both my bosses and I’s fault. SO, she probably had to take some of the route I was assigned to that day. Its just frustrating that some people would rather lose me for life than letting me take the month or so off to follow the stay at home orders the government has put on all of us. My life is more essential than my job, sorry not sorry. Plus my boy needs me right now.

I've been much happier, staying home. Staying in a trailer. That's where we are now. And its so much better than being in my moms one bedroom apartment.

My love is still in pain. I feel for him. He suffered two large injuries last year. Did not even have the right time to heal himself. And now he’s still busting his ass to try and get us out of where we are. Not to mention, he worked his ass off for months, broken, taking care of our babies, on a mountain, and then did not even get paid for his work. I’m hoping that things will work out, the money will come around when the time is most needed. Its amazing what he can do on his own. I am so proud of him. I cant even believe his abilities and dedication to this family, its simply, amazing.

So I try my hardest. I try to be the best mom, partner, cleaner, cook, friend, diabetic.

Yeah its a struggle sometimes. I’m learning though. And that's something I feel like I didn't do enough when I was working. I miss learning. I miss being challenged. I’ve missed being able to stay home with my babies and watch them grow.

This schedule has been a bit challenging, babe waking up super early to leave for work, works all day long, literally sun up to sun down this man is doing anything and everything to help get us by and get us where we’d rather be.

The past couple mornings, B and I have slept in waay too long. I think he woke me up at 10am yesterday.. which for him is the latest I’ve seen him wake up. I love to sleep in. But I want more in my day, and I want to have him on a set schedule so that he can be in bed when babe gets home and we can have some of our own time. This morning was nice, too. I got up for the first time in the AM with babe and made him his lunch. We were able to chat a bit and share some laughs. The quality time makes a difference. Even if its only 30 minutes in the morning before he leaves for work.

My sugar was really high this morning. Probably because of that damn bowl of cereal last night. I really want to try and get my A1C down. I know its too high right now. And if for some reason we ever decide to have another baby, I would like to have my sugars under control BEFORE we conceive. So I would like to try to work on that.

I need to start doing more yoga as well. And working out. My legs have been pretty sore since we moved in here though. I cant even believe we’ve already been here a bit over a month now. I love it out here, its beautiful. There’s so many trails, and rivers, and things to explore. If only my legs would stop being sore haha!

I’ve already got the dishes done, I need to sweep/vacuum, maybe clean up the TV area, try to do some yoga (sugar has came down to 151 and one arrow down still), I want to shower and get ready for the day, and have some breakfast made up before B wakes. I think I’m going to have to gradually start waking him up sooner. Today, I think maybe 8:45-9.

I want to have our days be a bit more organized though. Get a routine down. Its going to take some time and patience, and with him being up earlier I will need to find some more things to keep him stimulated and busy learning throughout the day.

TV time is earned.

8am Wake up and breakfast

830am Get dressed, brush teeth

9am free play

10am Some type of learning activity/snack

11am Outside time

12pm Lunch

1pm Learning activity

2pm Walk/snack

3pm free play/ or if earned TV time

5pm Dinner

7pm Shower

8pm Snack/ Bed

I don't know what id like to do for the rest of my life. thinking about that makes me nervous. But I’m gratefully sitting in a spot where, I’m going to need to make a decision. I am next in line to get a route of my own. But the reality of it is, I don't want to be a mail carrier for the rest of my life. So, I want to look into finding something to study. There are rumors that the PO could get shut down/privatized, so that's a big deter.

well, its 8:17am now, and i’m ready to get some things done.

I know I’m a bit all over the place. There’s so many things I could tell you.

This will have to be enough for now.

#writtenbysk

#writtenbysk #home #life #lifestyle #kids #love #storytime #blogging

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years

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04/07/2020 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 31:1-32:27, Luke 12:8-34, Psalms 78:32-55, Proverbs 12:21-23

Today is the 7th day of April, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it’s great to be here with you today coming from the rolling hills of Tennessee and moving out across the Internet into all of the different regions of this earth. It's such a joy, such and honor, such a marvel that this can even happen and that we can be here sharing this patch of history together. Like even that could have been off, right? You were born 100 years ago and I was born a hundred years from now and we would've missed now together on earth allowing this rhythm of God's word to transform us in our lives. So, we’re fortunate, we’re fortunate to be around this Global Campfire. It could've been different and yet it's not. We’re here taking the next step and I’m glad we can do it. So, we’re continuing to work our way toward the final things that Moses has to say in the book of Deuteronomy before he dies, and a new leader emerges. And, so, we’ll pick up with that story. Deuteronomy chapter 31 verse 1 through 32 verse 27 today. And we’re reading from the Christian Standard Bible this week.

Commentary:

Okay. So, yesterday in our reading from the Gospel of Luke, Jesus was not making friends, right? He was using His light and shining it, aiming it at the religious establishment. In particular, the scribes and the Pharisees who were there listening to what he had to say. And, so, what He was doing is basically calling out their hypocrisy and revealing how they were perpetuating this, that they were basically teaching everybody to be a hypocrite, to not be true, to be one way on the outside and another way on the inside. So, as we kind of come that…and of course Jesus shined the light on them and they didn't acknowledge…they didn't say, “oh thank…like thank you for showing this to me, showing my falseness to me. How can I live in the light?” Instead, they got together and started plotting against Jesus, right? The darkness hating the exposure of the light and wanting to extinguish the light so that everything would remain hidden in the dark. And they were in such darkness that they didn't know what they were doing, which is why Jesus will ask for them to be forgiven, even as He's being nailed to a cross. And, so, in our reading today, that story is continued and Jesus is saying basically, “there…there is only one way, there isn't this false way that you present to the world and then this other thing that’s going on inside of you that's a relationship with God. Like there’s…there’s only one way and you have two acknowledge me as that way inside and outside because some challenging things are in your future.” And He goes on to tell a story of a of a rich person who built bigger barns, basically. But on the tails of that He’s saying like, “you can prepare for every eventuality you want. You can store up so that you can have an easy life, all that you want, but what if today is your last day? Like what if you’ve got all that built up and you’re like, ‘ahh…now I can coast for a while and you die that day?” And He’s continuing to starkly show us like, “you cannot just external…you cannot just prepare for external eventualities or external pleasures. Like, you have to grow from within and what is within you is what is true and then that will form what happens in your exterior life. You’ve got it backwards.” And we still do today. We think that a bigger house, better this, better car, more reliable this, more money, more bank account, more pleasure, more travel, more experience, more wine, more good food or whatever, that's going to make our lives great. And Jesus is teaching is a fundamental truth about how we were created - if you are at peace within yourself you are at peace in any circumstance and everything can be received with gratitude. So, on a very, very fundamental level what Jesus is after is the reintegration, like so that there's not this hiding, that there’s not this duel self, like this one we present and this one that's real. We just keep trying to make changes from without hoping that they will seep inward into our hearts when it is the change of heart that changes everything else. And, so, to end today all you really need to do is go back over the words of Jesus at the end of our reading. So, let me just read this to us and let's receive this as if Jesus were speaking to us right now, not because I’m reading it but because these are His words that I'm reading. Let’s take these and apply them to our day-to-day.

I'm telling you, don't worry about your life what you will eat and about your body, what you’re gonna wear. Life is more than food. The body is more than clothing. Look at the ravens, they don't sow or reap, they don't keep a storeroom or a barn, yet God feeds them. Aren’t you worth much more than the birds? Can any of you add one moment to his lifespan by worrying? If then you are not able to do even a little thing, why worry about the rest. Consider how the wildflowers grow, they don’t labor or spin thread. Yet, I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these. And that's how God clothes the grass which is in the field today and is thrown into the furnace tomorrow. How much more will He do for you - you of little faith? Don't strive for what you should eat, what you should drink. Don’t be anxious. The Gentile world eagerly seeks all these things, and your Father knows that you need them. So, seek his kingdom and these things will be provided for you. Don't be afraid little flock because your Father delights to give you the kingdom.

Prayer:

We thank You for that encouragement Jesus. We receive that into our innermost selves, into the truest place that we know of within our hearts. We invite You fully to plant these words deeply into our lives. And we also acknowledge that You ended this by basically saying get rid of everything that is holding You back, money if that's what it is, anything else, whatever it is understand that there is inexhaustible treasure in heaven where no one and nothing can steal it away from You. And, so, we acknowledge, we've lived a lot of our lives, most of our lives, from the outside in hoping that if…that if we just keep moving things around, if we just keep on the run, if we just keep motion happening that we’ll be distracted enough to think that something good is happening when we’re just moving around stuff. But You're telling us from within can grow depths of living water. You’re telling us that where our treasure is that's where our heart will be. And, so, we set our affections on You and we seek Your kingdom and we ask that You give us eyes to see and ears to hear it. Lead us into all truth Holy Spirit. Show us the changes that You are making in our lives so that we don't fight against You because we acknowledge that we see in the Scriptures and what we have experienced in life is that You have no problem disrupting us in order to set us free. It’s just this we usually reinterpret disruption as some kind of inconvenience. And, so, we’ll ask You to take it away when You brought it to us in the first place. What You are doing in our lives, let us see this, let us embrace it, let us flow with it we ask in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what is going on around here. So, stay connected.

Reminding you now that the entire book, Sneezing Jesus, all of the chapters are available if you just kind of scroll back in your feed. We finished that over the weekend with the final chapter on Saturday, Sneezing Jesus, which is…yeah…which is very poignant for the times that we are in right now. So, be sure to take advantage of that check that and check that out. It's a gift in these times of…yeah…unrest and disruption. I guess if you want a hard copy of Sneezing Jesus, you can get that anywhere you can get a book, including at the Daily Audio Bible shop at dailyaudiobible.com.

And speaking of the Daily Audio Bible shop, there are a number of resources there for the times that we’re in. And the times that we’re in isn't specific to a virus or something like that. It's day by day step-by-step forward, one step at a time through the Scriptures. And, so…yeah…like this is a…this is a good time where we have a little bit of extra time to…maybe to start journaling, to start writing things down as we go through the Scriptures and as we go through unique times in the world, to chronicle this in our own hand and write down the things that we’re seeing and feeling and saving this for our future generations, showing God's faithfulness in our lives. And, so…yeah…journaling is a big thing around here because remembering is a big thing in the Bible. Like remembering what happens so that you won't forget God's faithfulness. This is all throughout the Bible. And, so, you know, a more modern iteration instead of piling up a bunch of rocks so that when you pass by the road you can say this is what happened here, maybe a more modern way would be to journal, to write things down. And we have a way of trying to type things down a lot in this modern era, but there's…there’s something special about sharpening a pencil, sitting down with the Journal, writing on some good paper and you’re kind of using your body to say what you need to say instead of just kind of typing it on a screen. There is something beautiful about that. And we’ve found the best stuff we could find to do it, stuff that I use most every day myself. And, so, you can find that in the Daily Audio Bible Shop. Some of our Black Wing pencils, our journal that is custom developed, made for us as a community. So, check those things out. Also check out the Global Campfire section of the website. This is stuff that we can use and wear and carry and just remind ourselves, we’re not alone. We have a community. We are going somewhere together as we move through the Bible and…and we can weather these things together. So, check out those resources in the Daily Audio Bible shop as well.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link on the homepage. And I thank you profoundly now and always. Thank you for your partnership. That’s how the Global Campfire keeps burning and I am humbled and grateful. So, there’s a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you've a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app, the little red button at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning DAB family this is Tara Batrusee in Texas and about to start another day of trying to keep our business alive. It’s been a roller coaster week relying on God day by day, but I just want to remind myself and all of you that God’s word is true. His word is true to a thousand generations. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of God stands forever. His word does not return void without accomplishing what He set it out to do. And we’re very grateful for Brian and China and the whole Hardin family for feeding us with God’s word. It says in Psalm 50 in verse 14, to offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving and pay your vows to the most-high. Call upon me in the day of trouble I shall rescue you and you will honor me. It says in Psalm 57 verse 2, I will cry to God most-high, to God who accomplishes all things for me. And in Psalm 56 verse 13, for I have delivered my soul from death, indeed my feet from stumbling so that I may walk before God in the light of the living. And in Psalm 59 verse 10 it says, my God in His lovingkindness will meet me. And in verse 17 it says, oh strength I will sing praises for God is my stronghold, the God who shows me lovingkindness. Don’t give up DAB family. Tomorrow’s another day and He’s given us this day. So, praise Him because He inhabits the praises of His people. Much love to you all. Bye.

Good morning my name is Lionel I’m from South Florida. First and foremost, Brian thank you for making this platform available because I enjoy listening to you every day and hearing the word of God. Today I ask for prayers for myself and all my fellow first responders. I’m a law enforcement officer as is my wife. And as I’m sure you know we don’t stop for anything. We go to work no matter what. And I pray and ask for prayers for myself, my wife, for all of our first responders, brothers and sisters, for all the healthcare workers during this very difficult time that we find ourselves in. And it’s scary, it’s really scary. I’m 43 years old and hear stories every day of healthy people my age getting sick and dying in a week and half. and it brings a lot of anxiety to me and I’m been praying about it and asking God to take the anxiety from me. I’ve been blessed. It’s a very scary time. And, so, I would ask for prayers and all of you DABBers and your families who are out there to, stay healthy and support one another. And again, thank you.

Hi DAB family this is Emmy from Illinois. Most of you know that my marriage has been struggling for at least the last year. And I just wanted to call in with an update and then just to pray for marriages in general. But my marriage is still struggling. My husband is back in “this is never gonna work” and for some reason he thinks that because we’re not quote unquote compatible that that gives him freedom to treat me poorly. So, life is a little bit miserable and then you add the stress of the coronavirus and everything else, things just are exacerbated and I know my marriage is probably not the only one that is going through struggles because of stress on each person and how each of us deals with this. Some of us are in tune to the news constantly others of us are sticking our head in the sand and wanting to ignore and just continue life as normal and there’s everything in between and how we react to stress. So, I just wanted to lift marriages up and families. Father God, I just ask that You would bring a piece to each of us individually, to our families and our spouses. God I just ask that You would use this time as a time to create new bonds and allow us to each be grace filled towards our spouses and our children as they may be reacting differently than they normally would or maybe they’re reacting the same but it feels worse than normal. God I just ask for healing and that You would restore marriages at this time, that Your power would be done, Your mighty glory would be shown in Your name. Amen.

Hey Daily Audio Bible I just want to say feel like I have so much disappointment in myself and my thoughts overtake me all the time. I mean there are a lot of times where I feel like I can’t be in God’s presence but I still think evil things and I just like sometimes I feels like it’s like something’s whispering in my ear but at the same time just these wild thoughts. I feel like sometimes it’s not even me. So, I don’t know why, and you know, it’s hard because I want to have faith and I want to be complete. So, if you’d be willing to pray for me to understand, have obedience, and to have a better heart because it feels like completely callused heart, just anger from God. So, I just…if…if you’d be willing I thank you. I hope you have a good day.

My rock and the hard place by Francis Parker.

I came up to a river dark and deep and swift and wide I wondered how I’d ever safely reach the other side there was no one to ferry such a current none could swim the Lord had led me to this place and so I questioned him wade in he said so gingerly I took a doubting step the water was so black and cold and far beyond my depths the stinking mud oozed up around my hesitating feet And murphy grinning ripples came maliciously to meet And then he spoke and low the threatening waters turned and fled In awful thrusting haste they left to leave their stony bed the downstream surges turned and tumbled frantically away while from the evil source the water simply stopped and stayed so quick the whelming threat had passed with grateful heart I crossed the cobble path He made for me where roiling waves had tossed And then He said now get some rocks and come and build a stack So to that rocky river bed I went and brought some back now pile them up from this day forth reminders shall they be that things impossible for you are not at all for me and so I did I stacked up faith I stacked up confidence and he’s my shield and trust in him and he is my defense I looked upon that stack a while fixed it in my mind in case of trouble still ahead that I might chance to find and then when trouble threatens I’ll look at my stack and see hard evidence that He provides and loves and cares for me and so with Him I’ll face each day with joy that hope affords because I know that come what may the battle is the Lord’s

Blessings to you all. Love this global community with all your different accents and all your different places of residence it’s like on earth as it will be in heaven. Thanks.

Hey Daily Audio Bible family I am just calling in to let you know I’m praying for all of you. I pray for all of your requests and I am so thankful for this community. What a blessing. What an amazing bunch of technology that is just coming to us right now in a time when we can’t get to our regular churches and our regular Bible studies. And it’s just wonderful. Thank you so much Brian Hardin. And thank you to all of you who call in. I’m not gonna mention names. I have been listening for over 10 years. I used to listen on my Zoom if you know what that is. That’s an old thing. Anyway, you all be very safe, take the precautions that the authorities are telling us to take and let’s get through this thing and keep in touch. And my name is Gramma G and I’m in Fort Lauderdale Florida. God bless you all. Bye.

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rockandrollstorytime · 4 years

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Rock and Roll Storytime #8: The Rolling Stones at Altamont (AKA One of the Worst Concert Disasters of All Time)

The year 1969 had been a hectic one, both for the world in general (with the continuing Vietnam War, the Chappaquiddick incident, and the moon landings) and especially for rock and roll (with the death of Brian Jones, Woodstock, and the Beatles starting to head full-steam down the road that led them to their break-up in April 1970). Capping off this year full of highs and lows, there was Altamont, which has been labelled by many as the death of the 60′s. At the very least, it certainly brought a premature end to the idealism that the youths of that generation held dear.

Lord knows, I will always say that Brian Jones should have had a chance to get back on his feet and I’m super salty that he’s dead, but honestly, I’m glad he missed out on this one.

Before I tell the story of Altamont though, I must ask… Whose bright idea was it to hire the Hell’s Angels as security for a Rolling Stones concert and pay them with $500 of beer?

Well, to answer that question, I’m going to have to begin this story with the ending of another. Truly, the roots of this ill-thought-out decision lies within events that had happened that summer.

I’ve mentioned Brian Jones already, but to give those of you who are new to this the rundown, Lewis Brian Hopkin Jones was the Stones’ first guitarist, and at the start, he was the brains of the band. Seven years, a bunch of internal conflict with Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, and Andrew Loog Oldham, a messy relationship with Anita Pallenberg, drug abuse and alcoholism, two drug trials, and a fuck-ton of stress later, Brian was in a state we’d call “mental exhaustion” (didn’t help that his physical health was shit too). Where in 1966 he was contributing some of the best parts of the Stones’ early music, such as the sitar on “Paint It Black”, in 1969, he’d rarely show up to the studio, and if he did, he would usually be too intoxicated to properly contribute. In fact, on Let It Bleed, he only contributed to two songs: “Midnight Rambler” (congas) and “You’ve Got the Silver” (autoharp).

In June 1969, the Stones decided they wanted to go on tour again, but then, they found out that due to the fact that Brian had twice been convicted of drug possession, it’d be unlikely that he could receive a visa to perform in the U.S.A., if at all. Ultimately, Mick and Keith decided that their best option would be to fire Brian, and so, on June 8, 1969, they went down to Brian’s home, Cotchford Farm, to tell him that he would no longer be with the group. According to those present, Brian had been expecting this, and in the various press releases, it was made to appear as if Brian had left the band on his own terms. His statement read, in part, “I no longer see eye to eye with the others over the discs we are cutting. We no longer communicate musically. The Stones’ music is not to my taste any more. The work of Mick and Keith has progressed at a tangent, at least to my way of thinking. I have a desire to play my own brand of music rather than that of others, no matter how much I appreciate their musical concepts.”

At this point in time, whether Brian was accepting of this turn of events or not is up to conjecture.

In either case, the Stones brought in 20-year-old Mick Taylor (previously of John Mayall’s Bluesbreakers) to replace Brian, and at a press conference on June 13, the Stones announced that they would be holding a free concert on July 5 in order to properly introduce their new guitarist.

And then, just three days before the concert was set to take place, Brian drowned in his backyard swimming pool, being just twenty-seven years old. Although the coroner ruled it death by misadventure (which personal research seems to support), theories have long persisted that Brian was, in fact, murdered, but that is, of course, a story for another day.

The Stones in the Park concert quickly became a tribute to Brian Jones, and at the start, Mick read two verses of Percy Bysshe Shelley’s Adonais, and as the band launched into “I’m Yours and I’m Hers” by Johnny Winters (one of Brian’s favourite songs), thousands of butterflies were released, though this was against park stipulation, as they were voracious Cabbage White butterflies, and many had died due to the boxes not being properly ventilated.

What’s important to this story about the concert at Hyde Park is that the London chapter of the Hell’s Angels was there providing security that day. It is also important to note that the Grateful Dead (who, incidentally, also had a member of the 27 Club in their line-up) had also hired the Hell’s Angels as security numerous times.

Several months later, the Stones had been having a pretty good run with their American tour, which was able to slightly mitigate some of the shady business practices Allen Klein had subjected them to, but throughout, fans and journalists kept complaining about high ticket prices. If you ask me though, those bitches were lucky. I’d rather be paying three to eight dollars (equivalent to $21.21 to $56.57 in 2019) as opposed to a minimum of $159 that tickets to a Rolling Stones concert now sell for. Not to mention, Woodstock had happened in August that year, and that was a big success, so in Mick Jagger’s 26-year-old, immature, unwise brain, that obviously meant that they should have another free concert like the one at Hyde Park. Really, in his mind, the peace and love movement was only just beginning, so what could go wrong?

As Murphy’s Law will tell you, “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong”

Oh, and go wrong it did.

The first major problem was that they couldn’t get a venue.

The concert was set for December 6, and their tour manager, Sam Cutler, struggled to get them a venue. He tried San Jose’s State University, but there had been a three-day festival recently, and the city wasn’t exactly in the mood for another batch of hippies storming the city so soon afterward, so that was out of bounds. He then tried gunning for San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park, but there was a football game between the Chicago Bears and the San Francisco 49-ers taking place in the same general location, which made use of the venue impractical. He then tried getting Sears Point Raceway on board, but disputes quickly arose over filming distribution rights and an up-front fee of $300,000.

Finally, just two days before the concert was set to take place, the Stones’ management managed to get a hold of Altamont Speedway (it helped that the owner, Dick Carter, apparently offered the venue for free).

As you can imagine, there was a whole shit-ton of problems that arose from that, and Rolling Stone magazine, in its piece on the tragedy, listed the following logistical problems:

“1) Promise a free concert by a popular rock group which rarely appears in this country. Announce the site only four days in advance.

2) Change the location 20 hours before the concert.

3) The new concert site should be as close as possible to a giant freeway.

4) Make sure the grounds are barren, treeless, desolate.

5) Don’t warn neighboring landowners that hundreds of thousands of people are expected. Be unaware of their out-front hostility toward long hair and rock music.

6) Provide one-sixtieth the required toilet facilities to insure that people will use nearby fields, the sides of cars, etc.

7) The stage should be located in an area likely to be completely surrounded by people and their vehicles.

8) Build the stage low enough to be easily hurdled. Don’t secure a clear area between stage and audience.

9) Provide an unreliable barely audible low fidelity sound system.

10) Ask the Hell’s Angels to act as ‘security’ guards.”

Most sane people would have quit while they were ahead, but this is the Rolling Stones we’re talking about. Between Brian Jones having five kids by the age of twenty-three, Mick Jagger allegedly sleeping with over 4,000 women (and don’t get me started on him and David Bowie), Keith Richards’ drug habits and his snorting his dad’s ashes, Bill Wyman dating a teenager while he was in his forties, and Charlie Watts punching Mick Jagger in the face, we are absolutely not dealing with the most sane bunch of individuals on the planet.

And let’s not forget that some idiot decided it’d be a great idea to pay the Hell’s Angels in $500 of beer (the equivalent of $3,535.43 in 2019).

Yeah, if you listened closely to the sounds of the earth in 1969, I can guarantee you, you probably would have heard a barely-cold-in-the-ground Brian Jones spinning in his grave over this stupidity (because he was acting as the band’s manager for a time in their early days before Andrew Oldham came on board).

Let’s also not forget that they hired a particularly notorious batch of Hell’s Angels from Oakland, California, whereas the Grateful Dead found their “security bikers” in Sacramento. Apparently, Grateful Dead manager Rock Scully even tried to warn the Stones about the “real” Hell’s Angels after seeing the footage from Hyde Park, but obviously, they didn’t take whatever warning he tried to give them to heart. The hippies in general had a romanticized image of the Hell’s Angels in their heads, seeing them as “outlaw brothers of the counterculture.”

No points for guessing how that worked out, but let’s continue regardless.

Set to perform that night were Santana, Jefferson Airplane, The Flying Burrito Brothers, Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, the Grateful Dead, and of course, the Rolling Stones.

They would all be performing on a stage that was just thirty-nine inches off the ground and surrounded on all sides by over 300,000 attendees. Apparently, this had been planned to create a more “intimate” experience.

From what I could tell, waivers were not involved.

For the sake of time, I can’t give you a minute-by-minute analysis of the event, but I can still provide a basic timeline of all that happened.

So, everything went relatively smoothly as Santana performed their set, but it was only downhill from there. As the day progressed, the crowd started fighting each other, and the “security” sure as hell didn’t help matters. At some point, someone knocked over one of the Angel’s motorcycles, which was likely an accident. However, the Angels were already pretty pissy, and plus, rule number one when it comes to the Angels is “Don’t mess with the motorcycles.” So, the Angels, already high thanks to someone spiking the beer with acid, started indiscriminately assaulting audience members they didn’t like with sawed-off pool cues and motorcycle chains, including a guy who was running around naked and someone else who was trying to take pictures of the stage. One woman who called in to a radio station the next day reported that she saw five fistfights, and the Angels were involved in every last one. She tried to intervene, but the people around her warned her not to, fearing for both their safety and hers.

During Jefferson Airplane’s set, Marty Balin was knocked unconscious when he tried to intervene in a fight between the audience members and Hell’s Angels. When Paul Kantner grabbed a mic and sarcastically thanked the Angels, Bill Fritsch grabbed the mic from him and started arguing with him about it. In addition, Denise Jewkes, lead singer of Ace of Cups, was hit in the head with a beer bottle and suffered a skull fracture. Her husband, Noel, had to lead his six-month pregnant wife through the sea of people so she could get medical attention. The Stones later paid her medical expenses. By this point, news of what was going on out front was beginning to seep into the backstage areas and even back to the Stones at their hotel room, but most of the acts decided to press on regardless. However, after hearing about what happened to Marty from Michael Shrieve, the guys from the Grateful Dead decided to book it.

Yeah. Thanks a bunch, assholes.

The crowd did calm down a bit for the Flying Burrito Brothers’ set, because really, who can say no to Gram Parsons? However, that calm was only temporary. When the Stones arrived by helicopter, it wasn’t even ten seconds before someone punched Mick Jagger in the face. Also, Bill Wyman missed the first helicopter out, so the Stones were already going to be late.

And then Mick Jagger decided he wanted to be all dramatic and shit, so the crowds were forced to wait until nightfall for the Stones’ set.

Meanwhile, during Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young’s set, a “stoned out” Angel reportedly stabbed Stephen Stills in the leg whenever he stepped forward to sing, leaving trails of blood running down his leg.

By the time the Stones were anywhere near ready to take the stage, things started to degenerate even further, to the point where the Angels (who already despised Mick’s scrawny, English arse) pretty much forced the Stones to go out on stage regardless of whether they were ready or not, just to prevent a full-scale riot.

It was in that moment Mick knew… he fucked up royally.

As Mick observed the constant fighting between the audience members and Hell’s Angels during the show as he sang “Sympathy for the Devil”, he desperately, defeatedly, pleaded for calm, his usual bravado completely absent for once in his adult life. However, it was clear that the Angels already weren’t going to listen to the flamboyant musician they clearly hated, and tensions had been simmering too long throughout the day, so Mick’s pleas for peace practically went completely unheard.

Mick Taylor later said, “The Hell’s Angels had a lot to do with it. The people that were working with us getting the concert together thought it would be a good idea to have them as a security force. But I got the impression that because they were a security force they were using it as an excuse. They’re just very, very violent people. I think we expected probably something like the Hell’s Angels that were our security force at Hyde Park, but of course they’re not the real Hell’s Angels, they’re completely phony. These guys in California are the real thing — they’re very violent. I had expected a nice sort of peaceful concert. I didn’t expect anything like that in San Francisco because they are so used to having nice things there. That’s where free concerts started, and I thought a society like San Francisco could have done much better. We were on the road when it was being organized, we weren’t involved at all. We would have liked to have been. Perhaps the only thing we needed security for was the Hell’s Angels. I really don’t know what caused it but it just depressed me because it could have been so beautiful that day”

(I feel so sorry for Mick Taylor. The kid was just twenty years old when he saw all this bullshit going down.)

Now, what I’m going to do with this go-around, before I describe what happened next, is tell you a little bit about Meredith Hunter. He was just eighteen when he went to Altamont with his girlfriend, Patti Bredehoft. The only reason he had a gun that day, according to his family, was for self-protection, given that he was basically a young black man with a white girlfriend in a sea of white people, at a time and place where racism was still very much prevalent. Allegedly, the gun didn’t even have any bullets in it; it would just be a last resort to deter anyone giving him trouble. Like most 18-year-olds, he was also a bit naive, and though his girlfriend wanted to leave, he convinced her to stay for the Rolling Stones’ set. At one point, he was already set upon by Hell’s Angels, but that time, it was only a scuffle. What is known is that he was high on methamphetamines, but what isn’t known for sure is his general demeanour. Some said he had a crazy look in his eye, while others said that he seemed calm, though he was upset at the violence.

And then, all hell broke loose.

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As “Under My Thumb” was ending, cameras found an opening into the crowd, into which stumbled Meredith Hunter. He grabbed his gun, a .22 calibre revolver, which was visible to cameras against Patti’s dress. When Alan Passaro saw this, he immediately assumed that Hunter was trying to shoot somebody, and started stabbing him (this was, again, in plain view of a bunch of cameras). Subsequently, he was repeatedly kicked in the head, trying to tell his attackers that he wasn’t trying to kill anybody. However, the Angels were convinced that he was attempting to shoot somebody, and that’s essentially what the narrative became- that a crazed black kid high on meth tried to shoot Mick or one of the other Rolling Stones (which, believe me, I’d be salty about even if I hadn’t read a Rolling Stone article about him).

It was little Mick Taylor who managed to keep things rolling (a bit) by suggesting they play “Brown Sugar”, which had only been recorded the previous Tuesday.

Somehow, after the vicious beating he’d suffered, Meredith was still alive, and a doctor at the scene looked at him and recommended that he get immediate medical attention, or else he’d die. However, the only helicopter at the scene was reserved for the Rolling Stones, and the pilot made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that no one else was allowed on board. Hunter ended up dying of his injuries while they waited for emergency responders.

I don’t quite know how well the situation was explained, but still, dick move on the part of the helicopter pilots.

In addition to Hunter, three other people died, one after falling into a fast-moving irrigation duct while tripping on LSD, and two others were killed in their sleeping bags during a hit-and-run accident. There were also four reported births, one of which occurred during Jefferson Airplane’s set.

The day after the concert, the Stones flew back to London, as the news slowly disseminated throughout the world.

youtube

In 1971, a documentary about the tragedy, Gimme Shelter, was released to the public. However, in the years since, many have argued that is meant to excuse the Stones’ actions and is an apologist piece of media. Still, the footage itself does show a chilling account of what happened that day, if you can ignore that overall narrative (though you really shoudn’t ignore that).

Alan Passaro was later charged with Meredith’s murder, but was acquitted by an all-white jury, who likely either excused the crime due to racism, or just didn’t have the full story.

After Altamont, just about everybody turned on each other. The audience members, many of whom undoubtedly still live with the scars of that fateful night blamed the Hell’s Angels, whereas the Angels laid some of the blame on the audience members, and most of it on the people who hired them, whilst the Stones said they’d never work with the Hell’s Angels again (which, allegedly, almost resulted in some of them trying to assassinate Mick Jagger).

In my honest, humble, not-so-professional opinion, I say the blame should be laid with the Stones’ management, Mick Jagger, the Grateful Dead, and the Hell’s Angels. The concert should have been planned over a matter of months instead of weeks, held in a proper venue, and above all else, not had fucking Hell’s Angels as security guards.

While the Grateful Dead came out of it rather unscathed (mostly because they didn’t play), it’s been said that the Stones lost quite a bit of their edge. It’s easy to say that they grew up a lot because of this event, becoming a lot humbler, and a lot less greedy and risky as a direct result of this. It’s even to a point where people haven’t liked much of what they’ve put out since the 1980’s. Santana and Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young declined to have their performances shown in Gimme Shelter, and have since spoken very little about the event. Meanwhile, Alan Passaro drowned in 1985, though the circumstances of his death are suspicious, to say the least. Meanwhile, Meredith Hunter’s family still deals with the trauma of his death, and aside from a $10,000 ($70,708.59) settlement, the Stones never even approached the family to offer their condolences, or even a half-assed explanation (I don’t recommend the latter approach). The Hell’s Angels also had their reputations as dangerous outsiders cemented by this event, given that they’d caused at least 75-90% of the violence that took place that day.

Keith Richards has maintained his “fuck-all” attitude about this through the years, even writing in his 2010 autobiography “In actual fact, if it hadn’t been for the murder, we’d have thought it a very smooth gig by the skin of its fucking teeth.”

There is a reason that many of the dreams of the 60′s died at Altamont, and all the evidence you really need is the footage that was shot that night and the words of the people who saw the fiasco first hand.

Sources: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/remembering-meredith-hunter-the-fan-killed-at-altamont-630260/ https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/the-rolling-stones-disaster-at-altamont-let-it-bleed-71299/ https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidchiu/2019/12/03/altamont-at-50-the-disastrous-concert-that-brought-the-60s-to-a-crashing-halt/#535871c31941 https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/the-chaos-of-altamont-and-the-murder-of-meredith-hunter https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/the-altamont-festival-brings-the-1960s-to-a-violent-end https://datebook.sfchronicle.com/music/altamont-wasnt-the-end-of-the-60s-it-was-the-start-of-rock-n-roll-disasters https://worldhistoryproject.org/1969/12/6/altamont-free-concert Altamont by Joel Selvin Life by Keith Richards https://allthatsinteresting.com/altamont-speedway-free-concert https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2019/lifestyle/altamont-rolling-stones-50th-anniversary/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altamont_Free_Concert https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Meredith_Hunter http://timeisonourside.com/chron1969.html https://www.thevintagenews.com/2018/02/01/altamont-free-concert-in-1969/ https://www.ranker.com/list/altamont-free-concert-facts/jen-jeffers http://www.findingdulcinea.com/news/on-this-day/On-This-Day–Deaths-at-Rolling-Stones–Altamont-Concert-Shocks-the-Nation.html https://www.robertchristgau.com/xg/bk-aow/altamont.php https://westegg.com/inflation/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUlyVSfhgaM https://www.setlist.fm/setlist/the-rolling-stones/1969/altamont-speedway-tracy-ca-43d6fbb3.html https://slate.com/culture/2018/07/just-a-shot-away-a-history-of-altamont-by-saul-austerlitz-reviewed.html

#mick jagger #keith richards #brian jones #charlie watts #bill wyman #mick taylor #the rolling stones #jefferson airplane #santana #flying burrito brothers #the grateful dead #cw: drugs #cw: death #cw: racism #cw: murder #cw: assault #cw: violence #this concert was such a mess

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aelaer · 5 years

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Tagged: All about me and fanfic

Thank you for tagging me @dragonnan! My fan fic history is a long one... and in three fandoms. Which is why most of this will be under a cut for anyone who has a lot of time to waste. And is morbidly curious. But there’s some (okay, dozens) of fanfic recs for three fandoms under there too, sooooo.

Tagging at the top so you don’t have to read my verbose-ness if you don’t want to: @amethyst-noir @cairistiona7 @mdcbd @phierie if you’re interested in giving it a shot :)

1. At what age did you start writing fanfiction?

13. You can still find my earliest works online, too; I kept up anything that wasn't completely deplorable (though fanfiction.net deleted my stupidly popular, several hundred reviews of a story I did in 2004 because it was script format. The bastards xD Popular with all the little kids).

2. Who is your favorite author?

Lmaooooo what a question. Okay so for three fandoms. The big thing that’s common between all my favorite authors is that romance is not a primary genre with any of these writers. So if you like gen (of all genres) you’ve come to the right post.

If anyone here is a LOTR book fan (especially Aragorn), let me direct you to storiesofarda.com. It’s an old site, not even mobile friendly. Anyway, go read the works of Cairistiona and Meckinock. If you're more into hobbits and anything fluffy, go read Shirebound. That I remember their names since I was last active in fanfic in LOTR in 2011 speaks to their quality. I've had the honor of meeting Shirebound several times in real life as well, this last time in New York back in April after several years apart (though I'd like to meet Cair one day for sure, as well). I had a lot of favorites years ago but I’d need to reread the old stuff to see what still lives up to my expectations.

Scanning my favorites in Sherlock, Jolie Black , CaffeineKitty, and hollyesque on AO3. Stillwaters1, chappysmom, Radon65, and Morgan Stuart from fanfiction.net. But I have a couple favorite stories from authors who only wrote a couple fics (below).

Now the MCU (okay basically Doctor Strange, let’s be honest), on AO3: Grim Revolution and merrywil (the latter is pretty new and needs a hell lot more attention, she is a great writer). I love those long, introspective character one shots. There's not a lot of authors who don't focus on romance in the MCU with Stephen as a main character -- indeed, it’s partially nonexistent -- so shorter list. ElenaCee wrote some great stories just after the first film but has sadly moved onto other fandoms.

Dragonnan on AO3 is currently my favourite whump writer. Two of my fandoms and lots of my favorite tropes. I feel spoiled. My favorite romance-is-their-primary-genre writer is amethyst-noir for her characterization of Stephen combined with the oh-so-fun (for us) scenarios.

3. Favorite type of scene to write?

I can usually tickle myself quite a bit when I get some really great situational comedy into a story. I can never be fully an angst/whump writer because I adore comedy. So yeah, situational comedy for sure.

4. What is your favorite fanfic?

Stop asking me these questions ahhh. Okay so I'll be mentioning fanfics not by any of the authors listed above (which are in my most favorite stories too but, well, their works are all favorites anyway. Just look at all their works in said fandom for more favorites if you’re lacking reading material and have similar tastes. And once you’re done reading all the works by those authors, come back here for more. Seriously, read the authors above).

I listed these fics in alphabetical order because that seemed most fair.

LOTR (Most are book-verse. I need to reread a lot of these. Most of these authors have several works for the fandom, though I think each of these particular stories have Aragorn as a primary character):

A Proper Course of Action by GadFlyGirl (absolutely hilarious one-shot after Helm’s Deep about ‘the Denethor situation’)

Across the Years by MistyC (a very creative and well-written story that spins an old cliche in a much more interesting way)

Butterbur and the King by Eledhwen (fantastic character one-shot from one of my favorite minor characters)

Conversations with the King by athelas63 (great characterizations, good healing scenes)

Conversion by Pentangle-linnon (for everyone who says that first person can’t be done in fanfic - read this one-shot, then tell me what you think now. A work of pure brilliance)

Crossroads of Light and Shadow by Mirach (this one I recommend simply for the creativity alone; the art she was able to execute with the text in flipping fanfiction.net is really mind-boggling. Very creative!)

Doomed to Live by fliewatuet (it was never completed, but it’s so freaking good that I am putting it here anyway)

For Every Evil by Mirrordance (fantastic modern incarnation AU that spun out into a series)

Greet the Dawn by Neoinean (a great, very long long-shot with two characters meeting and it’s just a great combination of humor and angst. More great characterization)

Helping Strangers by Imaginigma (fantastic one-shot, really interesting OCs, a wonderful scenario)

In Shadow Realm by Legolass Q (original concept, well-developed characters, engaging plot, truly magnificent)

Light Fingers by Aearwen22 (I think this is the only fic here that doesn’t star Aragorn- he’s a pretty minor character. Brilliant brilliant characterizations of the OCs and a look of a part of society often ignored in LOTR fan fic)

Pale-Faced Tark by Carafinwe (everything by this author is brilliant, but the visceral imagery she managed to capture in two short chapters here still blows my mind)

The Patient by Scribe (another fantastic modern incarnation AU that spun out into a series)

Ransom by MP brennan (man I just continue to see how much the LOTR fandom completely spoiled me with all of these brilliant, plotty fics. Another original concept with brilliant OCs and fantastic execution)

Shattered Stones by MCat711 (a very creepy, original, well-executed one shot that keeps you guessing the whole way through)

The Weight of Power by Nefhiriel (does it follow canon as established by the Appendices? No. Do I care? No. The story’s absolutely fantastic and makes those small discrepancies mean nothing. This was also the first story I ever drew fan art for. I then made something for Shirebound a year later, then didn’t make anything again until that Ebony Maw piece I posted a bit back)

With Hope and Without Hope by docmon (AU scenario in that the Three Hunters are captured while trying to rescue the Hobbits. Very well-thought out and compelling plot, fantastic characterizations all around)

Sherlock:

Annie’s Song by Berouge (One of the only romantic-leaning fics listed here [Sherlolly], but that is due to its excellent characterization and execution. Creative one-shot.)

The Case of the Missing Bus Ticket by Unsentimentalf (I think I burst a rib laughing to this story. Long one-shot. Situational humor at its finest)

Constantly by thesignofserbia (great one shot concerning Serbia)

Drowning by Dayja (I like a lot of her stuff. Angsty.)

Firestorm by Dustbunny13 (This is... beyond words. So gorgeous. I adored it from beginning to end. Have read a few times. Sometimes accept it as season 3 alternate canon, it’s just fantastic)

Fortune and Bust by ThessalyMc (a wonderful gap-filler fic, very similar to a lot of my favorite authors listed above in quality and type of content)

The Green Blade by verityburns (excellent case fic)

The Holiday by Scriblit (both whumpy angst and humor and case fic? Yeeeessss. Another I’ve read several times.)

Landscape With The Fall Of Icarus by Caitlin Fairchild (another Serbia fic? Yes predictable of me)

London Orbital (another story, very long one-shot, where I burst a rib laughing)

Rigging screws, size 1 3/8 inch, galvanised by AJHall (another excellent case fic)

World Enough, and Time by StoneWingedAngel (an excellent and creative execution of a trope that you'll realize by the time you get to day three)

Doctor Strange (unless stated otherwise, they’re all one-shots. Need more multi-chapter fics... or just gen Stephen content in general):

The Architect by mudgems (a great what-if with Stephen, Loki, and the Time Stone)

Born of the Same Impulse by GwendolynStacy (WIP multi-chapter. Time stone shenanigans send Stephen and Tony back to just before Ultron and a few months after the car accident, but before Kamar-Taj [the accident happens in 2015 rather than 2016 for this to work. It’s brilliant])

Citizen Erased by Imagined (WIP multi-chapter. One of the only romance-is-a-major-genre story [ironstrange] on the list, but the plot concept is incredibly unique, the mystery is being unraveled so wonderfully well, and the collection of characters is really fantastic and in-character.)

The End of Infinity by FriendlyNeighborhoodFangirls (WIP multi-chapter. It’s canon compliant, only Stephen does a fantastic trick after canon and snatches Loki from the claws of death to go back to 2016 and fix everything. Peter, Tony also co-star. I am very much looking forward to where this goes)

Extracurricular Activities by EmptyHead (I am cheating here and linking a series. But it’s so damn creative, and while Stephen plays a big role, he’s definitely not the starring character. Synopsis is that MJ learns the mystic arts. It’s really brilliant!)

Geniuses by decotex (Stephen Strange's and Tony Stark's backstories, published before IW came out)

Hearth Sorcery by keshwyn (Another cheat here with a series of 5 one-shots, but this is too excellent and undervalued not to link. Excellent OC and world-building, highly recommend)

Holiday Magic by KarToon12 (Stephen plays Santa Claus for sick kids. It's adorable)

i hope you hold the mirror up (to show me what i chose) by CallicoKitten (Stephen and Tony being assholes to one another, published way before IW. I love it)

Like an Old Coat by ValmureEld (Could definitely see this as a follow up scene to the events in the Doctor Strange film. Great character interaction sequence)

Magic In Our Veins by Luna_Heart (the lack of Loki and Stephen interaction stories is criminal. Absolutely criminal. I want more!)

The Night’s First Watch by fathomfive (omg this is so good. So so so good. Excellent character study, I can’t recommend it enough)

of coffee and (questionable) first impressions by Phierie (Ooohh I love this alternate first meeting lots. Beat up on monsters and a coffee break after the work. Great stuff)

Project Code 131793 by StrangeMischief (Absolutely haunting and incredibly well-executed AU. I would adore to see more in this universe, it is so interesting)

Replay by INMH (the horror of Dormammu and coping with it)

You’ve Got Mail by Jadesfire (it’s about the mail situation with the Sanctum. What is not to love about that concept)

5. What tags do you avoid like the plague?

A/B/O, mpreg, not Mary friendly (for Sherlock), not Team Cap friendly, anti-Steve, anti-Wanda (or similar). Any of that anti-character bullshit, but in the MCU those are the two I see the most (and so probably make me rage the most. I once saw anti-T’Challa for instance and that just confused me more than anything). A bit of a rant in the next two paragraphs (I have Strong Feelings on this topic).

I don't tolerate the anti-character crowd. I really don't. Disliking a character is one thing and completely normal (I have my own list), but expanding time and energy to write just how much this character sucks is mind-boggling (and tends to make for really shitty fanfic. So you create a strawman villain of the character you hate for your favorite character to go against? Good job, you’ve made your favorite character appear entirely too stupid to deal with a well-developed character in conflict, and have made your favorite character 2D. Have a gold star). Your energy can be used elsewhere that isn't focused on hate. If you hate the character but aren’t creative enough to present them as anything but a strawman in your writing, don’t bother. Create an OC for your antagonist instead. Stop making canon characters so ridiculously OOC.

The real world is too filled with negativity to have it as part of a major focus in my fandom experience. It actually really, really bothers me that I cannot save a filter that automatically excludes all those anti tags as they haven’t been canonicalized on AO3. What perhaps bothers me even more is the number of kudos those hate-filled fics with incredibly OOC characters receive. The hypocrisy in this crowd is just astounding when you start pointing out the flaws in their favorite characters, too (FYI: All well-developed characters have flaws. I love Stephen Strange for his flaws. Before Stephen made his debut, Tony Stark was my favorite for similar reasons. It makes them INTERESTING).

Anyway, rant over.

6. What AU do you wish to write but feel like you won’t manage?

If I really really really want to write something, I'll write it. That said, there are things that I don't plan to write that I would adore reading (like that unfinished Stephen travels to the HP universe in Harry's fifth year fic ahhhhh I want that it would have made the 5th year so much better. Maybe if I bribe the original writer with fan art... wardmason you’re killing me).

7. Do you outline, or write as you go?

Depends. The outlines only tend to come into play for long stories with several scenes, and writing tends to happen first before outlining.

8. What has been your favorite story to write so far? Why?

Such hard questions! Uhhh I had great fun writing in my youth but I can barely remember it. Within this last year, uh... can I just say all of them? I've written about 100k in 6 months, I'm clearly enjoying myself here. I’ve had vibrant moments of delight in writing or planning several of them.

9. Do you prefer to write one-shots or multi-chapters? Why?

Both. Just depends on the story I want to tell and how long that story is saying it should be. I like posting a variety too; have one-shots coming out while I am working on the longer stories in the background.

10. What is your favorite kind of comment?

Oh those deep analytical ones that clearly took time to write. They're so lovely and really make my day. Every fanfic writer knows exactly what type of comment I am talking about.

11. Why did you start writing fanfiction? Why are you still writing?

I started because I had just seen the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie and I really liked the characters (before the sequels ruined them in various capacities) and I thought, "I should put them in Middle-earth!" 45 chapters and 7 years later that damn fic got completed (after dozens and dozens of rewrites as my writing abilities improved over the years).

Now, it's because I really enjoy writing and I like playing in copyrighted playgrounds with characters and worlds I love. Yeah, I could write an original novel, but it wouldn't be nearly as much fun.

#personal #about me #fanfic #fic rec #doctor strange fanfic #lotr fanfic #sherlock fanfic

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lunawings · 5 years

Text

King of Prism SSS episode 7 commentary (Leo)

So this episode is the opener for what I know as the theatrical “Part 3″ ... and boy what an opener.... By the time it was over I was like “T-That was only the first one... BUT IVE ALREADY FELT SO MANY THINGS..”

Having this as the first episode of the three has been pretty difficult because it’s just such a rollercoaster. I’ve actually been hesitant to see go Part 3 more just because I know I have to get through this episode right off the bat. And not because I think it’s a bad episode OH NO ITS JUST... SO MANY... FEELINGS..........

I got to go to the midnight showing for Part 3, and I honestly think that has an unfairly high influence on how I feel about the episodes. Part 1 and Part 3 I saw at the midnight showing and I loved them. Part 2 and Part 4 I saw at 8 am when I was exhausted and miserable and I ended up thinking Part 2 was weaker than the others, and Part 4....................... uhhuhh we’ll get to that later, anyway--

So when I translated the original story about Over the Rainbow crossdressing for Miss Kakyoin, I honestly did it just for that two second reference in episode 3. I had no idea this was also going to happen. So when the first second of Part 3 opened on the theater screen with this I was like OH. MY. GAWD. YES. YESSSSSSSSSSSS. I’m gonna cry already. (Little did I know what was coming up later in this episode....)

Also this was the point where I began to realize some of these episode are taking place in the past/out of order. Because SSS starts off in the summer, but the Kakyoin Fest usually takes place in May. So either this is a Rainbow Live retcon, or this episode is taking place in May. (But I suppose there’s no particular big reason that can’t be possible. Well one small one maybe...)

So this is Rinne’s first appearance in SSS, right? (Outside of her silhouette in the OP.)

So... I don’t really think it’s a spoiler to tell you she will appear again, under.... vErY DiFfeRent CircumStanCes........

And I just wonder if like, when we get to that moment, someone who is watching only SSS who has never seen Rainbow Live or Pride the Hero is gonna be like “Oh that’s the girl from the beauty contest.... wait..... WAIT WHAT IS HAPPENING.... “

Oh lord.

Anyway.

This scene is a whole lot of fun in cheering because we all have our green out and are cheering to Freedom, then it... stops.... then it starts again ahahah....

I love Taiga in the background here. It’s clearly intentional.

I wonder if he actually believes what Kazuki says here or not. But you know what. I don’t think it matters because I think this scene has about zero influence on how he reacts next. I mean, if Taiga actually realizes Kazuki’s just doing this to save face, well then.... hell yeah he’d want to help defend Kazuki-senpai’s honor! And if he believes him and thinks crossdressing and winning a beauty contest is an honor for Edel Rose.... hell yeah he’d want to follow in Kazuki-senpai’s footsteps ahah ha.......... yeah see it literally doesn’t matter........... For Kazuki-senpai!!!

Yeah see this is definitely post-episode 3 Taiga. He definitely changed in that episode after becoming honest about his feelings for Kazuki. So this is the only stupid little thing that makes me question when this episode is taking place since the Nebuta Festival is in August ahahah ha.... (Well maybe he realized long ago.)

Wait woah woah what’s going on here with the subtitle. I thought I saw someone else’s screenshot of this and it was an upside down “A”? Is it just my computer? Is it really like this?

BTW I actually never had any idea what they were saying here before, neither did I pick up that it was probably a reference to μ's because in the theater you just cannot see anything on that newspaper because it’s on screen for like half a second.

If I had, maybe I would have realized that.....

......Both Kakeru and Shin’s outfits seem to be a reference to the original Love Live! I had a little subconscious inkling in the back of my mind that I knew where Kakeru’s outfit was from and it probably wasn’t Pretty Series. But Shin..... Shin..... for the longest time I kept trying to think what coord this was. Because it does look like it could easily be a PriPara coord, doesn’t it? But after other folks started pointing it out, yeah it does look like they were trying to rip on the “Bokura wa Ima no Naka de” outfits goddamn it hahaha.... Well, it makes sense because there are people who worked on both Love Live! and Rainbow Live.

But yeah I swear if they had only made the skirt plaid I would have gotten it. The plaid skirts are such a big point of that outfit for me.

But still anyway, if anybody can think of a Pretty Series coord which is similar to this (or can make one on the 3DS).... um.... hit me up................ now..........

OH COME ON MINATO you can do so much better than this.... For Miss Schwartz you actually found a look that worked for you....

I mean sure he looks like someone’s mom but isn’t he.

The moment when I was like “Welp, maybe Taiga’s straight after all.” Such a mystery, this kid.

MINATO AND YU OMG

This moment goes by so fast I literally missed it my first two showings but OMG it’s my favorite joke in this episode and one of my favorite visual jokes overall I crack up uncontrollably every single time. Ahhhhhh you poor boys....

Welp someone hasn’t watched PriPara but I think we already knew that from Kakeru’s “Glowstick Cage”. Still, I really think you’d be able to figure out this is clearly a catch phrase but WHATEVS

I think my reaction echoes most of the community’s reaction as being “are they gonna say the thing--THEY SAID THE THING”

As much as I want to feel bad that Leo feels like he has to do this, it’s just too funny. And not to mention adorable.

How “masculine” Leo somehow ends up being EVEN CUTER than natural Leo, I will never be able to explain but OH LORD HE IS. (I guess just, the more he tries to fight it the stronger it is....)

He’s not lying.

................ no..... noooooo.......... *buries face in hands*

So. Okay. Okayokay. Sorry we gotta pause here oh boy.

Ever since the Pride the Hero era, Tsurugi was always my favorite member of The Shuffle. Especially since I realized that even though we could see him failing the training machine in the first movie, he still made the group. It was my headcanon that it was because Kokoro, Mondo, and Mitsuba helped him rise up and overcome his challenges until he finally made it. I saw him as the Otoha of the group. A sweet lovely boy who somehow got mixed up in all the corruption of Schwartz Rose AND SOMEHOW he survived.

And then this happened.

His feminine personality. It was all an act. IT WAS A LIE. Just created to add the right appeal to The Shuffle. AND I FELL FOR IT.

...............

I guess Joji isn’t the only liar in Schwartz Rose. I guess, Schwartz Rose just naturally attracts that kind of people huh.

Well, from this moment on Tsurugi was not my favorite anymore.

For the record, my favorite member of The Shuffle nowadays is Ace. And probably subconsciously has been since episode 5? But I actually didn’t come to realize that for.... a few more episodes...... So we’ll talk about it then.

Right now we have to talk about.... wait... wait no no no no no no no

You ever have one of those moments when time just kinda stops and everything just kinda... spins around you........... that was this moment for me at the midnight showing....................

Sorry I have to interrupt again to mention this. They revealed here Leo’s dad supposedly designed all these characters.

Well OK, but the thing is in this universe supposedly PairChams and stuff are actually real.

So how can they be designed by Leo’s dad?

Welp, my theory on this is Leo’s dad either was a prism star, or just has a lot of prism sparkle in him, and he secretly just draws exactly what he sees.

I think the phrasing is a little weird here. It’s more like Leo didn’t even particularly realize he was a boy. (Or what his gender was at all.)

(Yes they are wearing mini-Fortune Party CRs.)

(Yes this is also our Young of Prism reference.)

.......I really like this episode but...... this part is just so hard for me..... it’s just...... a bit too real............. but I applaud them for it the same time but.... it’s just.... it’s hard.............

People take out yellow and cheer for Otoha here, but at first I was just so distraught after the proceeding scenes it took me until maybe my 4th or 5th cheering show to actually join them.... just trying to get the energy and to come out of it and like oh it’s Otoha.... oh where are my concert lights.... oh where is yellow..... oh it’s over...... ................. (ahh it’s just.... so sad........)

Okay so now that we’ve gotten this far, I can finish my train of thought about the order that the boys joined Edel Rose.

I think it’s safe to assume Yukinojo was probably first. His episode revealed that he liked prism shows since he was really little, so he probably entered his first year of junior high? I think Kakeru was already in junior high when he found out about prism shows so he probably transferred in anywhere from 2012 - 2014.

Yu and Minato I think probably joined at the same time in April 2015. Because when we meet them in the first movie they are both 1st years (in junior high and senior high respectively) and we know from Minato’s episode he was never in the junior high division.

Then Leo joined sometime not too long after that, and finally Shin.

Taiga is the only mystery, because his flashback only features Kazuki and there is nothing to particularly date it. In my head I’m gonna throw him in there after Kakeru but before Minato/Yu though.

......Anyway.

Leo’s reactions as he meets each of the boys, and vice versa, are just... SO INTERESTING to me and reveal so much about him and the other characters. So I’m sorry but. We’re basically gonna take this frame-by-frame....

Oh gosh oh no oh to think that because of his experiences in life, Leo is just so conditioned to the point where this is the first thing he says directly to any of his new friends I just I.... *chair squeak* excuse me I need a moment.

*walks out of the room*

*comes back after several minutes*

Oho gosh okay okay sorry where were we

AND HIS FACE when he realizes Kakeru called him cute and clearly meant it as a compliment I just I *chair squeak* I may need another minute we’re like ten seconds into this scene and it’s already just--

OHHHH MANNNNNN

I’m pretty sure Leo’s extreme reaction here isn’t because he’s upset at not being called cute. It’s because, once again, Leo is just so conditioned because of everything he’s been through. He took one look at Taiga and probably saw him as the exact archetype of a person who usually bullies him.

But he was wrong.

Taiga, the actual purehearted softie that he is, had absolutely no idea his words would have such an effect on Leo. And once he realizes, he PANICS, and says absolutely anything he has to in order to fix it as fast as possible.

TAIGA

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

I’d also like to note what makes this scene even funnier is that Taiga is using a Tohoku slang word for “cute”. (This is a younger Taiga who hasn’t quite lost his northern dialect yet. Also sort of a northerners bonding moment for the two of them maybe?)

So Taiga being attracted to Leo is a thing I guess. But.... but does it really count as being gay with Leo, like I mean.....?

Well.... Taiga being asexual is probably ruled out at least.

Anyway.

Out of all of them, Leo’s encounter Minato might just be my favorite.

First, Minato reaches out his hand intending to shake Leo’s.

But Leo, probably being just.... so desperate for human contact at his point, sees this and actually reaches up and grabs Minato’s hand with both his hands instead.

If you remember, Leo being too touchy-feely with other boys was one of the reasons he was bullied. Probably moments exactly like this.

But Minato....

He doesn’t flinch. His expression never changes. Instead he’s just like, oh you remind me of my sister. Like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

And he probably thinks that’s kinda nice that it will be like having his beloved sister around.

shfsfshl;dsaSDJGSOGSAG+J

Yu doesn’t care who Leo is as long as he thinks he’s cool.

Sounds about right.

Gonna say the obvious here but YUKINOJO WHAT ARE YOU DOING

How he just immediately powers down and goes into kabuki practice mode when nothing has been happening for 30 seconds.....

I have things to say about this encounter too but we’ll get to it later.

My favorite comedic line in the episode.

Yukinojo is somewhat oblivious about gender norms himself eheh.

I love the juxtaposition of this line with this scene. It’s not a coincidence surely.

Leo kind of just made a fool of himself here, but the other boys had almost no reaction. They were all just kinda like “huh”, and instead of “this Leo kid is a weirdo” it’s “Yukinojo what did you do” hahahah. That, is acceptance. That is Leo finally finding a place where he can belong.......... Until.....

Oh boy I’m sorry we gotta go on another tangent here. A dark one.

Throughout SSS it’s pretty clear that Shin’s arrival had a big impact on everyone, but it probably had the biggest impact on Leo.

Edel Rose was the first place in his adolescence where he was able to find acceptance.

And I think it’s safe to say, that without Shin to bring everyone together, Edel Rose probably would not have survived.

And if that happened.....

Leo would have nowhere to go.

I really shudder to think about what might have happened.

And I don’t think it’s a huge exaggeration to think that Shin joining Edel Rose... may have actually saved Leo’s life.

So when you really stand by and take all of this into perspective.

All of a sudden how attached Leo is to Shin. His over-protectiveness, his jealousy. It.... it starts to make a lot more sense.

So from this moment on I decided I won’t fault him for it anymore. I can understand.

Oh gosh okay I know it’s hard to come out of that with this, but....

Y.. yay Christmas Party! This is going to come up again in SSS, but since people are going to be talking about it now I’ll talk about it now.

The Christmas Party is an event which happened in detail on the Prism Rush Main Story and was the first time the boys all performed together as a group and debuted Dramatic Love.

And yes, at the same time it is also an analog to the real live Music Ready Sparking concert, which was the first time the voice actors all performed together in real life. Those are the outfits they wore in the real concert, and the same pose they used for promotional materials.

They actually re-drew it for the anime in the performance outfits instead of the concert T-shirts.

(The outfits aren’t a secret anymore, and no need to sell T-shirts ahah....)

WHAT. THEY FIXED IT. Okay I SWEAR in the theatrical version of this there is a continuity error here where Leo has his pigtails in this back shot, but his hair is down from the front. I paused here to take a screenshot so I could mention it then I was like wait whaaaaaaaaa. This is the only time I have noticed a blatant change between the theatrical version and the TV version. (Other than the new endings.) It makes me wonder if there’s anything else I missed.

PFFT.

I guess “yes” isn’t the worst translation, and who am I to talk since I don’t translate “IIZE” at all. But it drains the flavor out of it whenever I try.

If you’re not aware, “IIZE” was the scoring system in the boys’ PriPara from Idol Time, DanPri. The joke is that it’s like a masculine version of “iine” which was the scoring system in the regular girls PriPara, and still is in PriChan. Probably the most literal translation of “iine” is “likes” since that’s what they call the like button on Facebook/Twitter. But yeah it’s a bit of a journey to understand this I suppose.

Iize = burly likes

? ? ?

He’s just.... he’s just so weird........... Tsurugi why...............

(Yes, Mirei hair and Bunny Magician coord from Prism Tours. Sorry I’m skipping over pointing out some of the PriPara references on purpose since this post is just so long as is.)

PFFFFFFT okay okay. Okay. OKAY. Okay.

I know this is probably just in here for a throwaway joke but OHHHH lord.

We saw Alec compete in a beauty contest on Prism Rush before in the Street Beauty No. 1 event, but not on purpose as Louis basically tricked him that time. To think he’d come this close to doing it on purpose, and in his Mom’s clothes?...... ohhhhhhhh wow

If this really almost happened, then I guess Alexander’s riding the same train as post-episode 3 Taiga nowadays isn’t he ahah.

And finally we get to the prism show. But oh gosh, I have to say I do not like his initial outfit. First of all it’s supposed to be a boys’ outfit but it’s.... not.... I guess they were trying to go for a Peter Pan thing or something, but it just registers strongly in my head that Peter Pan is usually played by a woman and like. I just wish they would have made this outfit a bit more masculine to highlight the change that’s gonna happen. The least they could do is take off the earrings.

Not to mention form-fitting stuff does not work for Leo. It highlights how small and child-like his body is, and they even do a butt shot and just NO no please no why. STOP. Okay, my only criticism against this episode is that. Had to say it.

When you need a character to clarify this you’re doing it wrong.

But anyway, moving on.

This.

When we got to this moment, I just.... I felt.... such a great vicarious weight lifted off my shoulders. It just felt so good to finally, finally see this. It’s been a long time coming.

Okay, let’s go back. Way back.

During the first movie, when we first met Leo. In the bath scene he introduced himself using “boku” (a male pronoun). He was presented as wanting to be more boyish, and Yukinojo’s little protege. And I said OK, and I accepted this for face value. For a while.

But then about a year passed, and this CD came out.

And I went woah. This was the first point when I began to realize things might not be quite as they seemed. Leo is just straight out wearing girls’ clothing here. As oblivious as he is, nobody can be quite that oblivious.

So the whole theme of their duo song is mutual respect, and it clearly introduced for the first time the irony of Yukinojo and Leo’s relationship in that although Leo looks up to Yukinojo, in truth Yukinojo wishes he could be more like Leo because Leo is the feminine ideal he’s striving for as a kabuki actor who does female rolls.

Well okay, but the thing is.

Leo supposedly wants to be more masculine, but... but....

When he first meets Yukinojo, that’s not the reason he attaches himself to him.

Leo picks the most feminine member of the group to model his ideal after. Not someone rough like Taiga, or built like Minato. He picks Yukinojo. Yukinojo.

And that’s when you start to realize.... Nothing Leo has said has ever matched up with what his actual actions are.

Sure, he talks a lot.... but....

What has he actually done to try and become more masculine since King of Prism started?

Even when he purposely sets out to dress masculine in stories on Prism Rush (like in his initial PR story for one), he always ends up picking out feminine clothes somehow.

Although he once introduced himself using “boku” to Shin, it’s pretty much exclusively become “watashi” over time hasn’t it?

His Pride the Hero subplot was enjoying his (arguably) feminine hobby of clothing design. No masculine quest subplot there.

And we even got to the point where SSS opened with him wearing a frilly pink shirt in one episode and pigtails in the next.

The more time Leo spends at Edel Rose, a place where he is accepted, the more he slowly opens up and starts acting like himself again.

So if you’re thinking this came from nowhere, you haven’t been paying attention.

Still, I was really worrying about what was really going on inside him a lot before this episode came up. And then. Finally. FINALLY.

This episode should be seen by not just King of Prism fans. Not just Pretty Series fans. This episode should be seen by everyone.

GAHHHH I’M JUST.... SO HAPPY..............

I LOVE YOU TOO

I think just looking at these screenshots and taking it all in is making me tear up more than in the theater.

Okay so. When I saw Leo’s coord for the first time, my immediate thought was Laala’s first PR....

If you think maybe something else is a better fit though let me know.

So I actually think this score for Leo is fair. He only did two non-connecting jumps, and as this episode revealed he is the least experienced member of Edel Rose. (...Like I said before Shin... Shin is a special case........) I really like how their shows are actually accurate to what their skill level would reasonably be.

But it also just makes Minato’s higher score more of a mystery.

I love, love how this contest has progressed from year to year. Rinne -> Kazuki -> Leo -> ???

It may take us until we get to the next generation to get another winner, but someday I hope we see one....

YES this is obviously PriPara ahah but in canon it might be “Prism Land”? Ahah.

Okay, the end!

The post is over!

The end!

Why are you looking at me like that?

It’s over!

Thanks for reading!

.............

.....................

Okay. Since you’ve somehow stuck with me THIS FAR, I’m going to talk a little more about how this episode effected me personally and why it’s important to me.

The depiction of bullying was just so frighteningly accurate, and I feel like other people who have been through something similar would probably agree.

5th grade really is the year.

It’s right around that time when gender rolls really seem to solidify. All of a sudden lines are drawn. The girls become more girlish and the boys become more boyish.

It was around that time that I also noticed, that I didn’t like the same things that other girls my age liked. Other people noticed too.

My gender issues weren’t as profound as Leo’s, but I just wasn’t interested in things like clothes or boys yet. I still wanted to watch cartoons and play in the dirt and stuff.

Going into middle school, I also tried to pretend. But it didn’t work.

And I didn’t have any friends for a long time.

But then something happened to change that. I got more involved in music. Specifically marching band. Music and performing brought me together with a rag-tag group of people from different grades who didn’t know my past, all working together to put together a performance. That sort of activity (music, sports, etc.) builds bonds between people that surpass normal friendship. And eventually, through those sort of bonds, I found myself around people who accepted me even though I was a bit different. Gradually, I learned it was okay to be myself.

So just watching Leo make friends though prism shows.... just oh my god.... that’s me.

I kinda joked about Leo being my self insert character in King of Prism before, but man. Watching this episode. It just got so... SO much more real.

*deep breath*

*exhale*

Wow. Okay.

#king of prism #king of prism sss #leo saionji #writing this took so much out of me you won't even believe.....................#even when we get to the shin/louis episodes i don't think i'll have quite as much to say about them as i did this one

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