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#yeah yeah i just sentimental or something
spiderbeam · 19 hours
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and okay feel free to ignore this one because ive sent a bunch already buttt 🎧+max+7
🎧 — bugambilia by nasa histoires
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Max is nervous. He hadn’t realized it until the bell dinged with his entrance, until you spoke your usual greeting, until your eyes met his and a smile spread over your lips. He’s a three time world champion, an icon of the world of motorsport, a celebrity—and yet he finds himself growing jittery at the sight of you.
Of course you’d be the type to fall for the one person in Europe who doesn’t know your name, Danny had teased.
He’d denied it. He didn’t have feelings for you. He had simply developed a fondness for flowers—and he just happened to like yours most.
“Didn’t think I’d be seeing you this soon.” You dust your hands on your overalls as you stand up to greet him. You look pretty in overalls, he finds. Prettier even with your hair held up by a bow—alongside that lovely smile that always makes his heart skip a beat in his chest. “Thought you said you were leaving the country for work.”
Max realizes then he’s stayed quiet for too long. “Um, yeah,” he starts awkwardly, hands tucked in his pockets before he takes them out soon after. What do people usually do with their hands? “I did. It was just for the weekend, though.”
“Did you have fun?” you ask, before meeting his gaze with a playful roll of your eyes. “I know, work is work, but…”
“It was fine,” Max clicks his tongue, hoping he doesn’t sound too dismissive. “Not great.”
“Sorry to hear that.” You purse your lips, thinking for a moment. “Maybe you can rant a little while I trim these?” You gesture at the newly arrived flowers.
Max chuckles a little. He’s done plenty of ranting. Mostly in front of a camera. “Actually, I was hoping to get to hear you talk about your flowers—maybe give me a hand?”
You straighten as you stand up, nodding. “What’s today’s purchase gonna be?”
“Another gift,” he says, even though he’s ran out of friends to gift bouquets to. Twice is two times too many before they start looking at him weird.
You nod your head, ponytail bobbing. “Alright.” You clasp your hands together, smiling up at him. “Wanna look around for something that catches your eye, or are you in search for anything in particular?”
Max tilts his head at you. “Which are your favorites this week?” He asked you the same question last time, and the time before that. But, as you told him before, you can’t make up your mind—not permanently, anyway. Each time he comes around, you have a different answer prepared for him.
This time, you’re grinning. “C’mon, I’ll show you.” And then your hand is in his as you steer him towards the very back of the shop—and Max can feel his breath stuttering. He blinks in rapid succession, hoping to get himself to snap out of it. Jesus Christ, you’re just holding her hand. Pull yourself together.
Finally, you stop beside a shelf with purple and fuchsia flowers with papery petals and tiny light yellow blossoms inside them. Max feels as you let go of him, prompting him to step closer to the flowers. He leans forward, hoping to catch some floral scent like the lilies and jasmines you gave him a few weeks back. He doesn’t smell anything.
“They don’t have a scent,” you tell him. “It’s bugambilia. Bougainvillea. It’s not usually used for bouquets, though, so people rarely buy any. Except for this one woman, Marisol—she says it reminds her of home. But she only takes a few branches, doesn’t really want them as a bouquet.” You’re smiling when he turns back to you. “They don’t grow around here—not naturally, anyway. It’s why I like them.”
“Bougainvillea,” Max repeats, committing the syllables to memory. “So you’ve never had to sell a bouquet of these?”
“Not yet.” You shrug. “It’s under appreciated, in my opinion. I mean—most people just buy roses. Maybe sunflowers.”
He remembers you ranting about that last week. How impersonal is it to give red roses to someone on a date? It’s like giving a gift card. No sentiment whatsoever.
And Max, surprisingly enough, agreed. He believes in personal gestures. Gifts that proof you’ve been listening, that you’ve been paying attention. And as he side-glances at you, he can see your stare still lingering on the purple and pink flowers. He doesn’t need to think it over before he’s saying: “I’ll take it.”
You nod in approval, reaching up to take a few flowers. “I knew you would,” you say proudly, nudging his shoulder playfully. “You’ve got good taste, Max.”
Max chuckles. “Not really,” he says, shaking his head. “I just happen to know someone who does.” He’s looking at you as he says it, scratching his cheek, but he can see your lovely smile falter slightly. His brows pinch together.
You haul your selected bougainvillea onto the counter, with Max trailing close behind. “I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who buys as many flowers as you do—not that I’m complaining.” You try to sneak a glance at him as you’re tying off his bouquet. Max relishes in the heat that crawls up your cheeks when he catches you.
This is his chance, he realizes. But then he’s running circles again because what if you think he’s creepy? That he’s been buying flowers from you in hopes of finally building up the courage to ask you out? It’s not only creepy, it’s pathetic. It’s been nearly a month since he first met you. It’s taken him a whole month to get to this. Stupid. And since when does he get nervous like this around girls? He’s Max Verstappen.
But you’re you.
“You okay?” you ask, peering at him. “You’ve been a little quiet today.”
“Yeah, sorry. Um, I just—” He means to ask you, he really does, but this one tiny detail doesn’t escape his attention as you leave the flowers on the counter, wrapped in pretty ribbons, ready for him to take home. He stares at you, dumbfounded. “I—I haven’t paid yet.”
Your expression sends butterflies fluttering around his stomach. “Consider it a gift. For keeping me company on a slow day.”
But Max is already pulling out his wallet out of his back pocket. “No, no, I can pay.”
“Max,” you say, voice caught somewhere between soft and stern. “It’s a gift. You don’t pay for gifts.”
He scratches his cheek again, a quirk of his you’ve come to find endearing. “Doesn’t this get taken out of your paycheck?”
You shrug nonchalantly. “No one buys bougainvillea. One of my coworkers would’ve probably ended up throwing them away.”
You’re dodging his question, and Max doesn’t know how to tell you that he can afford it without making it seem like he doesn’t appreciate the gesture.
You seem to decide for him when you grab the bouquet and hand it to him. Your fingertips graze his knuckles, shooting sparks beneath his skin. He should ask you now. You’re smiling like you don’t even know the effect you have on him.
“Your—”
“Would you—” Max clears his throat, pink on his cheeks. “Sorry. What were you saying?”
You smile again, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. You laugh lightly, but it doesn’t sound as genuine. “Nothing—just that your girlfriend’s really lucky. I’d kill to have someone buy me as many flowers every week.”
“My—what?” Max blinks once. Twice. Three times before the words finally dislodge from his throat. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Oh, your boyfriend?” you amend, playing with your fingers.
“I’m not seeing anyone,” Max says bluntly. He’s still cradling his bougainvilleas as he watches realization wash over your face.
“Oh.” Heat is climbing up your cheeks, and for the first time all afternoon, you’re the one stumbling over your words. “O-Oh. I just thought that—I mean, since you’ve been coming around so much, and you’re like, handsome, and sweet, so I just assumed—”
“Do you wanna go out some time?” Max interrupts, ears tinted red. There’s a pretty blush spreading his face. A giddy nervousness building up in his gut. “With me, I mean. Do you want to go out with me?”
Your lips curl upward, heat radiating from your face. Max feels flowers growing in his chest. Hydrangeas, carnations, tulips, wisteria. Purple bougainvillea flowers.
“Yeah. I’d like that.”
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eve’s 1k celebration 🎧
this one was very loosely based on the song more on the vibes than the actual lyrics so i might revisit this song and make another more angstier drabble in the future….. for now i just recommend giving the song a listen <3 also i’m not used to writing for max AT ALL so hopefully it didn’t feel too ooc
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goteique · 1 day
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| SILVER SOUL + RAFAYEL. 
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+cw. —f!reader, reincarnation au + modern au + soulmate au, angst, yearning, one-sided pining, mature content. hints if love triangle if you squint | +wc. — 1k | +syn.— with that money,power and status your client had you thought this would be your breakthrough after working as bodyguard for a while now but it tore your heart apart instead.
+notes. — i’ll say this again. bodyguard job is no joke. insert that meme of [ “do a bodyguard mission.”they said, “it would be fun.” they said.] | redirect to blog navigation. | thanks to @purpleqilinwrites & @hayatoseyepatch for beta reading this piece.
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"I love you," Rafayel blurted out as he stared at the painting, part of him wanted to take it back, but the other half knew it did not matter since you must be sleeping somewhere here in this giant Mo Art Studio, in his home while he is drinking wine from the bottle he excavated from the wine cellar. Even though you should be awake and be by his side, you are not. He is all alone in his studio in the dead of night. His face contorts as he takes a few gulps from the bottle and keeps it on the nearby table. He hates it. He likes the taste. He would probably feel chipper and trippy by now but something happened this morning, something he did not expect, and all of this, this unfathomable sealike sadness stemmed from you. He is the God of the Sea, you can’t hurt him yet you did. Even the moon which was full has now turned into a slice, hiding behind the clouds. Even the moon is afraid of him. He scoffs at such sentiment. 
“Ser Rafayel. . . what’re you—
“Shhhhh!” He shushes you with his index finger over his lips. The sound almost comes as sharp as a whistle. His eyes linger on you, fluorescent it seems under the pale moonlight coming through the windows. He is standing in front of a painting almost five feet apart from you as you stand at the entrance of the studio. There are so many questions you want to ask him. What happened when you fainted? What happened to the gigantic sea creature? Why can’t you remember anything? — but all you could ask was, “Are you still mad at me?” voice as feeble as broken shells on the shore. It took you almost an hour to find him since you could not go back to sleep after what happened this morning. So, you’re not going back until you say your thing. Fuck work. Fuck professionalism. You want answers.
Rafayel turns his head in a flash. Mad at you? How could he ever? He is just . . . hurt. Why you ask? He turns his head back to the painting. He blames himself for the way you act now but he can not admit that to himself. Yeah! He is a coward. 
He did not expect you to be so cold after he saved your life. He hired you as your bodyguard for a reason, diluted the boundary of professionalism for a reason yet you have the audacity to tell him off? You might not remember your past life with him but he does and it is so vivid that it hurts to look at the same face that has totally such hostile feelings towards him. You do not know how many human lives it took to meet you again. Ah! This wretched curse. Humans are such vile creatures and it feels like a silver dagger in soul to have you as human in this life while he is a lemurian. If only he knew the way to make you remember . . . why can’t he just add some memories just like he wiped yours when he saved you from the Deluge Wyrmlord?
“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be asleep?” you swallow as he questions back realizing how dry your throat has become. It seems that he is still mad.
“As should you be too.” He looks at you, eyes red like running lava ready to swallow lives on earth  with a visible crease amongst his eyebrows. “Ser Rafayel.” you add.
Rafayel walks towards the sitting stool that he generally uses while painting but he tumbles in his way and you instantly run at light speed to hold him. “I’m fine. am fine.” He assures raising his hand in the air blocking your way to come to him for any aid he requires now. 
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything Ser.”
“Am I that appalling to you? He asked his heart aching since it still beats. The question hits you like a stone on a metal door. You do not. You clearly do not. It is just that . . . at that moment you weren’t thinking straight. You thought he did something to you. why do you think so little of me that you thought I did something to you while you were unconscious?"  
Your lips part for a second trying to form an answer that could ease his soul, soothe his mind. The answer is nothing but silence frustrates him to the point that he leaves his seat and stands up. You scoot a little closer fearing he would tumble again. Even though you emptied the wine cellar he managed to find one bottle. He must have a secret place or something. The state he is in, you think, Rafayel is going to forget all these what is happening right now. So, gathering all the courage you had left in your body standing as close as possible to him so that you can catch him if he falls. "You don't have any idea what you're doing to me." The amount of slur in his voice and the way his feet are wobbly he is gonna fall any second. . .and as you expected he falls like a withering petal in your arms. With utmost ease, you jock down on the floor. There is still a little bit of consciousness in his body but not enough to reject your help as he did just a while ago. 
He lulls into slumber with his head lying on your lap as he mumbles being under the influence of alcohol. "I'm in love with you," He snuggles more into your lap like a cat; so much for being afraid of them. "I'm in love with you and it sucks because I know you'll never love me back. Not in this life." As you hear his even breathing followed by slow purrs. You poke his cheek a little. He is asleep. Ah! Perfect timing.
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mrs-kodzuken · 3 days
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hard to desire ⨟ kenma k.
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chapter two
babydoll ari abdul
❝Oh, Father, forgive me for all my sins
When I meet your eyes, the Devil, he wins
Blinded by your lies, but I play pretend❞
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previous chapter next chapter
"We're going to miss you so much sweetheart," Your mom hugs you tightly, tearing up a bit.
"Call us if you need anything at all, sweet pea." Your dad says, giving you a sad smile over your mom's shoulder.
"I will, I promise. I love you guys so much." You tried keeping the tears at bay because you knew you wouldn't be able to stop. They had packed everything you'd need into your small car and then, of course, sent you with extra money for the things they couldn't fit.
You were going to live with Kuroo in an apartment so surely there should be basic things like a refrigerator or microwave?
"Be safe, sweetie." Your mom said as you were leaving out of the door. You could only nod and wave bye, you'd never left home on your own like this before, so it put you through quite a few emotions.
You hadn't mentioned the part about Kuroo's roommate, Kenma, yet to your parents. They trusted you under Kuroo's care as if you were still a child.
Starting the drive to the town you would be spending the next few years in made you a little nervous. You decided to hook up your playlist and play some of your favorite songs to help with the nerves.
You had also wondered if you would ever see that strange man again, maybe that would be your first ever attempt at romance. Never being in a romantic relationship before meant that you relied on fictional characters from books to fulfill that part of your brain.
You just hoped that Kuroo wouldn't snoop to your bookcase that would be put up in your room to hold all of your books like trophies.
In the time that you had been driving and spacing out to the music, you had magically appeared in the town you kind of remembered.
Quickly, you called Kuroo because he didn't even give you the address to the apartment you would be staying at yet.
"Hey, I'm in town now. Could you send me the address?" You asked into the phone call connected to your car's radio.
"Uh, yeah sure," Maybe a minute went by. "There you go. I'll go let Kenma know you're on the way here, little one. See you in a bit."
Whilst you were trying to figure out the weird directions to get to the damn apartment, Kuroo was trying to get Kenma to come out of his room.
"Kenma, she's on her way now. Make sure you're nice to her, just what I had spoken with you about a couple days ago." Kuroo reminded Kenma, leaning on his door frame.
Kenma had been still trying to sleep even though it was almost 11:40am. That's always a tell-tale sign that he was up late on one of his many consoles or editing his Youtube channel.
"Kenma." Kuroo called once again.
Something stirred within the pile of blankets on Kenma's king-sized bed. Then a grunt was heard and Kuroo decided that it was enough for him, he'd have to actually say it again when Kenma would be up later. Kuroo shut his door and sighed, hoping this would go great for everyone involved.
Soon after, you sent him a text message saying you believe you had gotten to the apartment.
Kuroo came jogging down the apartment stairs to meet you exiting your car.
"Hey, little one. Was the drive okay? You need some help getting all that up the stairs?" He asked, giving you a hug. He'd be mindful of your feelings later when you've settled in so you can spill about your sentiments of being here, like you used to.
"Hey, yeah the drive was fine. Nothing but a bit of music and singing can't help," You chuckled and broke the hug.
"And yeah, it would be great if you could help me." You eyed your car, the backseat seemed to have been spilling through the windows based on everything your parents had insisted on packing.
"They sure do love you; you know that?" He mentioned opening your trunk so he could start with whatever is back there first.
You swallowed your feelings, "Yeah, I know. Let's get this stuff hauled in there." You said, changing the subject so you didn't have to think about that right now.
"I've taken the liberty to give you a queen-sized bed. I assume that you would bring your own sheets because I know you like particular 'aesthetics'." He made finger quotes around the word but that didn't take away how thoughtful it was of him.
"You didn't have to; I could've bought my own and put it together. I'm a manly man, you know?" You joked, enjoying the nice moment between you two.
"Yeah, yeah whatever you say." He grunted, hauling a box over his shoulder up to the apartment. After a couple trips, he told you he'd get the rest and lock your car for you so you could get things organized in your new room without being overwhelmed.
Heeding his instructions, you got to work.
By the time you were done, your room kind of resembled the one at home but this one spoke to you in a way that one never did. It signaled a new era for you – a new you.
Your bookshelf stood tall and proud with plenty of colorful books on it. Your bed had a pink and white theme, a fluffy rug in the middle of your hard wooden floor, and a door mirror were your favorite touches so far.
The apartment itself wasn't so bad. You didn't really get to take a look at it due to unpacking but you definitely wanted to now. Exiting your room, you find the bathroom and you guess the bedrooms where Kuroo and Kenma sleep.
The kitchen wasn't spacious, but it wasn't crowded either. It doesn't take a genius to realize that Kuroo probably meticulously placed the barstools and counter items like the tea, coffee, and toaster machines in specific places.
He was such a geek sometimes.
You looked through the cabinets and tried to stick everything to memory of its place. You, however, brought some of your own favorite dishware that had cute pink ribbons imprinted on the glass. You definitely were going to make your presence known with that.
That happened a lot more throughout the apartment too. Your little decor items like a specific throw blanket and pillow on the couch just for you. Small decorations on shelves here and there. Your toothpaste and toothbrush in the medicine cabinet.
You were popping up everywhere in their lives. In his life. And for some reason, it got under his skin. Even covering his head with a pillow, Kenma could still hear you bustling about in the apartment, talking to yourself about where something should go.
You'd occasionally ask Kuroo, and he'd just say, "Whenever you want to put it is fine with me, little one." Not taking into account Kenma's thoughts and that kind of pissed him off.
Not that it was his fault anyways. It's not like he got out of bed to say hi and greet you. Or it's not like he's pretending to be asleep so he doesn't have to conversate with you.
Kenma doesn't know why exactly you're getting under his skin so much, but it bothers him. It bothers him so deeply.
"Want to come with me to help you set everything up for school? I can show you the main buildings and once you get your class schedule, I'll tour the buildings with you, so you won't be late on your first day?" Kuroo's offer lit your eyes up.
Afterall, you were here because you wanted your degree, so obviously you're excited about classes and school.
"Yes, yes, yes. That'd be amazing. Just let me grab a jacket and I will. I saw something about it possibly raining later." You called out to him, fast walking to your room to get a zip-up you had on earlier.
You heard Kuroo walk back into the hall, and you thought he was going to get on to you for taking forever as you looked at your outfit into the mirror of your door. But that wasn't the case.
A knock was sounded, but it wasn't on your door. It was his.
"Kenma, want to come with us? We're going to go view the fall semester classes." Kuroo said through the door to Kenma's room.
You even stopped breathing to hear him.
You'd see the picture frames on the walls and here and there on the shelves from their high school days but there wasn't a current one of Kenma out. And even in those pictures, he was always looking away or face not closely in the picture. That in itself had made you curious too.
“Too tired.” Was all that was spoken but it still had an effect on you. Even though it was muffled through walls too. It was slightly becoming a bit more than curiosity at this point. But then again, you kind of had gotten a bit sad that he wouldn’t be tagging along.
You’d be living with a man you don’t even know, and he was too tired to go look at fall semester classes? Interesting. 
“Alright, well little one, let’s get this show on the road then.” Kuroo called for you and you opened your door.
“Okay!” You shoved that weird Kenma thought to the back of your brain and went ahead with Kuroo to enjoy how you guys would be spending the rest of your day. 
. . . 
Just like that, two entire weeks of school passed by. And yet, not even once within those fourteen days of school did Kenma take any invite from you.
You remembered how he turned you down multiple times. One day you had softly knocked on Kenma’s door, hoping for him to answer.
“Hey, want to come study with Kuroo and I? I thin-"
"Leave me alone." Kenma's annoyed, muffled voice cut you off and gave you the answer you needed. You purse your lips, hoping you haven't done anything to upset your roommate. Although that isn't even one of the possibilities for you haven't even been in the same room for longer than five minutes max.
Another encounter was when you had gotten home with Kuroo, and you guys decided to get takeout which was aka Mexican – your favorite. You had found Kenma sitting on the couch in the living room scrolling on his phone.
It was as if he could sense you looking at him, he quickly got up and headed straight for his room.
"Hey, wait. I wanted to know if you wanted to add to our order. We're getting Mexican food for dinner tonight." You spoke hopeful, keeping your voice light the entire time. You desperately wanted to connect with your roommate, even if it seemed that he hated you – your mere presence.
However, he had other thoughts as he passed you with a gruff scoff, "Mexican makes me sick."
Just a few words hurt your feelings more than you'd like to even admit. You weren't used to this type of rejection when you had been nothing but cordial.
One fateful day after class, you decided you really needed a study session with Kuroo to boost your spirits. You didn't want to feel so down with it only being the second –almost third– week of college.
"Of course, anything for you. I'm going to invite Kenma; he needs it too." Kuroo said, without thinking. You hadn't confided in Kuroo about how you think Kenma absolutely hates your guts. Every time you try, you just keep thinking maybe there is something you're missing that is making him behave this way towards you.
"Oh... yeah, that's a good idea." You tried to support it, but you were riddled with anxiousness.
Your nerves got even worse when Kuroo had stated that Kenma, begrudgingly, would meet up with you guys. Only to which you then mustered half a smile, knowing that the next few hours would be more stressful than the coursework itself.
You stood at the small cafe that was built into the university's library, you stared at the menu hoping that your memory would be able to recall what Kuroo had always ordered.
On the off chance that you and Tetsu come here to study or get a breather, you always forget what he orders. On the other hand, Kuroo has mentioned what Kenma gets every single time and now that is the only thing that has burned itself into your memory.
A fucking oat milk latte loaded with any sort of sweet syrup.
You'd been secretly watching Kenma when he drinks them, seeing which kind of syrup he favors more. You're not exceptionally sure why you've been doing this either. However, the vanilla and caramel he seemed to like the best, so you asked to add both of those syrups into his latte.
Then, you made sure to send Kuroo a quick text, asking what his order was again – hopefully it just gets blamed on your apparent forgetfulness.
'Iced coffee with a splash of sweet cream' He had texted back, which honestly seemed very basic.
With a drink carrier, you carefully made your way to the study table that soon had everyone's laptops, notebooks, and pens out.
"Thank you, little one." Kuroo said, hastily taking his bland iced coffee from the brown, recyclable drink carrier.
Kenma's sharp golden eyes peered upward at you, causing you to gulp. He took his coffee without so much as uttering a word as Kuroo got to work. You had pretended to type notes for your art class and secretly peered up to see the slightly upward turn of Kenma's lips.
You felt satisfactory with your decision.
After a few hours of studying, you couldn't help that your eyes kept drifting to Kenma. Kuroo had gone to the bathroom and your coursework was definitely not on your mind. You breathed in as you took in his entire form across the study table from you.
Kenma's medium length hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, his brown roots showing more so since they've grown out quite a bit from the starch contrast of the blond hair dye. A few strands of hair had framed his sharp angled face, he seemed extremely concentrated on whatever he was reading at the moment.
Your eyes moved downwards, taking in his frame and clothes. They were the most basic, as expected from someone who didn't really care what outfit he wore. A tee with graphics on it and black sweatpants.
Noticing more, his laptop had one of those light up keyboards that you kind of wanted to run your hands across for fun. If you focused on just him, you could slightly smell the scent of cinnamon apples coming off of it. It felt intoxicating to say the least, making you feel the slightest bit of light-headedness.
You snapped out of your thoughts when he suddenly shut his laptop hard.
"Done studying?" You asked curiously, trying to pretend that there isn't a weird flutter in your stomach nor that you basically were ogling him either.
"Why does it matter? It's not like you're doing any studying with the way you've staring holes into me." He sneered at you, and you couldn't help the faint dust of blush that coated your cheeks.
"I was spacing out, sorry." You muttered, only focusing your attention on the brightly lit laptop screen, not the way you feel embarrassed for the emotions that coursed through your veins when you thought of your roommate – who hated you, you had to remind yourself.
When in the hell was Kuroo coming back from the bathroom to save you from this?
synopsis: it's the summer before you go to university, and you decide to become roommates with your pen pal that you've known since you were in primary. big problem arises, he's got a roommate, and it just so happens that his roommate either has a sexual want for you or hates your guts – or probably both?
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tag list: [let me know if you'd like to be in the tag list!]
@geektastic84 @lavanderdreamve @hhoneyhan @kirikeijii @marsoverthestars @nymphsdomain @justagirlnamedkai @kodzukein @74zix47 @kakuzone @jaeminaur
a/n: i made the banner, and i got my idea for this smau from @deftrow !!
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croc-o-clock · 1 year
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i play classical music so academics can have the thrill of almost experiencing emotions
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oreolesbian · 1 year
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anyway, I’ll keep saying until I can say it no more, but I love how hayden christensen just keeps getting to prove over and over that he was always a good anakin casting. I love that he gets to be as visually iconic as his other co-stars from the franchise. I love that he can see fans lose their absolute mind with cheer and applause at his mere presence in a SW project. All when he was once the scapegoat and punching bag of why people hated the prequel trilogy. I just love it all.
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blonde-and-cat-suc · 9 months
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Catra being anxious and having panic attacks over the bad things she did is actually counter productive to any hypothetical scenario where she is self reflecting and/or receiving constructive criticism.
Her potentially having crippling anxiety over being an asshole in the past PREVENTS and/or DELAYS any changes she might potentially make.
Making this character spiral over moral dilemmas does not inherently mean she’s actively working to change her ways. Her being afraid of facing her badness does not make her good; it simply means she has anxieties toward constructive criticism/dialogue.
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floating-goblin-art · 2 years
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happy birthday to the cake game
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its-leethee · 3 months
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just remembered that "proud" plays during the 2x06 flashback when callum learns that his mother is dead, and it also plays in 2x08 when ezran learns that his father is dead and does anyone have a spare jelly tart mine are all soggy now
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zebratimw · 1 year
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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soup--champ · 2 years
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something about apollo and music
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twilight-deviant · 2 years
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the-acid-pear · 4 months
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Something that I adore is when something is only Half a metaphor. Like the classic "yes the monster is a representation of grief but it's also real and it's coming for you". I think DSaF does that a lot with its body horror. Like lately I've been thinking of that line Harry says in fiery (flamey? I never get it right) ending about how every circuit of his board was SCREAMING at him to keep Bear alive but thing is, like... Yes, it'd do that, because he knows that if this bear goes down he will likely just be scrapped. You know what I'm saying? The "monster" (the reprogramming) is real but so is the metaphor (he's anxious about an untimely end)
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emotionaldisaster909 · 10 months
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b a b y ;-;💕
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seaofreverie · 2 months
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You ever finish a drawing that you really like and then you spend the next three days randomly looking at it for minutes at a time like that could make it possible for you to absorb its alluring and magnetic essence with your eyes
#this is me with my icon rn. also this is silly but yeah it really feels like that#i experienced the same thing but even more intensely back in february with the short comic i made then#and then also with some of the paintings i made during my painting course days#admiring the colors and lighting on this mundane green bottle. why not#honestly this might be the first time in my life when i'm making things and i sometimes end up actually liking them fully#no little extra gripes with it that could ruin it. i just like the thing as it is. love it even. it's exactly as it should be#this feeling is one of the top things that make drawing and overall at least attempting to make art worth it#i also wonder if anyone else experiences this thing where the image of a certain character stays in your sort of visual imagination sphere#like the thing becomes associated with everything that happens at that time. the music i listen to etc#it almost feels like i sort of AM this thing. like. spiritually#ok this is hard to explain without sounding kind of odd LMAO#it's just that i've never seen anyone express this exact sentiment. with seeing the character in your minds eye sorta#i mean hmmmm. ofc fursonas and all different types of sonas and such exist. re: the identification thing#i actually find the concept of an 'avatar' as something that represents you (in a digital setting mostly) really intriguing#it was actually one of the things i seriously considered as the subject of my bachelor's thesis#but yeah ok i'm just saying this so that you all know that i AM that little purple kitty holding a heart. btw#ok i'm going to go eat dinner now. don't mind me and my strange long-winded monologues#goosepost
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butwhatifidothis · 1 year
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ngl it really is almost impressive how easy it is to “not” be a villain in the eyes of edelstans.
“Edelgard says that she will sacrifice her own citizens for a “higher cause,” and then goes on to allow her own citizens to be harmed and killed for her own benefit, as well as innocent people in general (note: this is message is the result of failing to save Flayn... which Edelgard gave her strongest man to help do)”
edelstans: “okay but like, she knows that, and, like, acknowledges that - that makes it okay!”
“Edelgard explicitly says that she wants to get rid of the Children of the Goddess as a whole, who she finds to be creatures masquerading as humans, and she will celebrate their apparent elimination as the front liner of her S support.”
edelstans: “okay but like, Rhea is a meanie, so that makes it okay!”
“Edelgard will blatantly say that she wants to eliminate the Kingdom and Alliance along with the Church, and that she wants complete Imperial control over Fodlan.”
edelstans: “okay but like, Dimitri and Claude fight back against her though, and they don’t just stay exclusively on the defensive, so they’re just as bad! there’s no real good guy here, so that makes Edelgard okay!”
so all you have to do is
be aware that you’re committing atrocities against the innocent and undeserving
have a scapegoat to pass along all blame onto
have your victims strike back against your attempts at killing them
and viola! it’s just that easy! with this three step guide you may commit genocide and imperialism to your heart’s content, all while never being anything more than A Misunderstood Bad Boy Lonely Girl <3
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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months
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ok i know everyone says "love like you is soooo xyz shipcore" but i need you to know it's kuwameshicore to me. song's got yusuke written all over it arright. in case you don't have the lyrics memorized like i do here they are
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#it's too mushy for him but like.. the beats are all there yknow#kuwa thinks the world of him and it helps him love himself enough to live (see the wake scene but also like. in general)#while keiko's been there all along i think it's kuwabara that really serves as a bridge into more friendships (maybe botan? debatable)#the wondering when im coming back/shaken by how long it took is pretty self explanatory. guy keeps dying on him#'i always thought i might be bad' honestly yusuke probably thinks he IS bad but kuwa contrasting him might make him feel it all over again#sometimes. not bc kuwa's doing anything wrong just like.. oh yeah im TOTALLY right about that sucking thing bc here's another example#and obviously they're very different in approaches to virtue and honor (perceived goodness)#yyh#kuwameshi#and i think yusuke deep down feels he owes kuwabara a lot. he's saved his life multiple times and kept him company#he understands a lotta things in a way keiko can't and pushes him to be better in his own way. there's a debt there#so the 'if i could begin to do something that does right by you' bit feels like a sentiment he'd have at some point#like. why'd he save eikichi if not that yanno. stuff like that#idk. again it's a bit Too mushy for him but the fact that a lotta the beats align so well...#maybe this is just the quiet tender sentiments deeeeeeep deep in yusuke's heart. idk post over#anyway if you haven't listened to this before I'd recommend it it's just a gorgeous piece to me. mwah
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