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#yells in a pillow
icharchivist · 2 years
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i am so tired
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months
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No time to play. You are being sent away.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#yu ziyuan#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Do you know how hard it was to *not* do a 'Sold To One Direction' spoof comic? It took nearly all my will power.#Mostly because it misaligns a little too far off from the canon events and vibes.#But sit with me for a moment. Consider it:#“BEEP BEEP BEEP. I threw my pillow at my alarm clock. ”Wei Wuxian get your lazy ass downstairs!“ Yu Ziyuan yelled.#I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see my grey orbs staring back at me.#I put my long straight black hair in a ponytail with a red ribbon.#I went downstairs to see my adoptive mother holding a bottle of vodka and a cigarette.#'Listen up whore! I need money to pay the bills so I sold you. Your new owners will be here any minute so go pack!'#I stormed upstairs. There was no way I was going to let her sell me to a creepy old man!#I decided to run away. Since I'm not like other girls I don't have very many friends.#My gay friend Lan Zhan was mean but he lived like a block away.#As I opened the door I saw Wen Chao blocking the door. 'Ello Love. We're your new owners!'#I rolled my eyes and pushed him. 'Aren't you from that stupid Wen Sect? There's no way in hell I'm going with you!'#Hey again. It's me the OP of this blog taking a pause. I haven't actually read this story before aside from the memes#and I am honestly reeling from how this watpad fic chapter ends. What do you mean one of the one direction boys chloroforms her???#Chapter 2 is so much worse#Why is there such a strong focus on the *eyes* of every boy!!!#This fanfic is a horror story actually. I came into it trying to make a funny parody but I got in over my head. Dear God.#It's me again. Several minutes have passed and I'm on chapter 4. What the FUCK is going on here?#I feel like I opened up pandora's box hoping for a fun little treat and got the plauge upon me. Dont read this fic.
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actual-changeling · 3 months
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opened etsy and this is the first thing they showed me. i have so many questions and one of them is how many of these does michael sheen have in his possession
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wisteriagoesvroom · 2 months
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respectfully. what did McLaren put in the glow-up water
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source: mclaren ig
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sophsicle · 30 days
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every time someone complains about jily in choices a puppy dies actually.
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kiyoors · 9 months
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this goes so hard
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alttheloco · 8 months
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FISH DAD IS BACK!!!!
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radarchives · 4 months
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bbeeew · 27 days
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I KNEW WILSON WAS SELFLESS DURING SEX I CALLED THAT SH-T LIKE IT WAS 2 CENTIMETERS IN FRONT OF ME WHEN I WAS IN SEASON 1 LETS GOOOOOOOOOO
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koppaiterocker · 4 months
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Oh you guys have no idea how much angst this single comment spawned in my head... If I was a fic blog it would be SO over
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dennisboobs · 11 months
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hey do you guys remember when glenn said this on the podcast.
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ariesbilly · 1 year
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I think Steve tried to be cute the morning after the first time billy slept over, like wanted to wake him up with kisses and cooing and touching.
What Steve did not know, however, is that billy is a raging asshole if he’s woken up before he’s ready so Steve is met with a pillow to his face and a barely intelligible “get away from me asshole” and Steve’s like oh ok we’re not doing that again got it
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aenslem · 8 months
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this speaks louder than I could
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they are so ready to sacrifice themselves for each other it's insane
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polycrews · 1 year
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ddcds. for u (hopefully ur day will b a bit better!)
had to take a second to respond to this because dear GOD this made me lose coherent thoughts. ahem
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year
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I feel like this clip from the podium deserves to be posted in full
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valiantstarlights · 9 months
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[Tiny Dream AU] Playtime
Hob is working, but Tiny Dream wants attention. He wants to be played with. Look, he even has a sex dungeon ready.
For sandmanniversary2023 Day 1: Collection / Stargazing / Size Kink
I'm honestly still in shock that I've written something like this. The Sandman fandom has changed me as a person. 👀 Anyway, please enjoy, and I hope you all still think well of me after reading this. 🙇‍♀️ (For scientific purposes, here's the AO3 link. 😏)
CW: This is pure unapologetic filth. The main CWs are: soft dom Hob, horny Tiny!Dream having a vulva, sex dungeon and sex toys, size kink, size difference, multiple orgasms, and dirty talk.
Important: A typical Barbie doll is 11.5 inches (29cm) tall. Tiny!Dream is 12 inches (30cm) tall.
"Hob."
"Just a minute, darling," Hob says distractedly. He's currently uploading his students' grades, and it's a task that he has difficulty with (due to the university's crap online grading system), so he is justified in ignoring Dream for just one measly minute.
A truly heart-wrenching sigh sounds from behind him, and Hob, despite himself, turns to look.
Dream's floating doll castle, which had originally been the dollhouse of a New Inn employee's child that they have recently outgrown, is in its usual place in the corner of his study. The black banners are still flying in an unseen wind, the highest tower is still where the rookery is, and Hob can't really tell right now if Dream has changed anything about the exterior, except--
Oh.
That's new.
Usually, the interior of the doll house ("Doll castle," Dream had insisted), shows only a single room: the room where Dream currently is. Hob doesn't quite know how it works, if it rotates, or if it has a bigger-on-the-inside technology like the TARDIS. (Hob doesn't say that to Dream, though, because he has enough daddy issues already.)
Well, the room where Dream is at right now is a room Hob has never seen before.
Oh, he's seen the library, the gardens, and even the swimming pool, but this is the first time he's seeing the sex dungeon.
He wonders if Dream made the room just now, as he often builds and decorates rooms while Hob is working to amuse himself. And after, he would proudly tour Hob around, showing him the changes he made and his latest rooms, like a very lovely Sims youtuber. (Yet another thing that Hob won't say to Dream, in case he gets irrationally jealous, and cause all Sims youtubers to lose inspiration and have nightmares for a year minimum.)
(Hob doesn't think that Dream would actually do that, but he's not willing to risk it.)
"I'm bored," Tiny Dream says imperiously upon a throne-like bondage chair, his feet already on the stirrups. He's only wearing provocative black lingerie that shows off his pretty little tits, and isn't that a treat to see. He gestures to the large array of toys and tools on the stainless steel instrument table placed close to the viewing area, so Hob could easily access them. "Play with me."
Hob licks his lips as his eyes roam over Dream's form. Dream preens and thrusts his chest out some more for inspection. Lovely thing. "Haven't conjured a fucking machine for yourself yet, darling?"
Dream sticks his lower lip out. Not a pout--god forbid, Dream would never admit to doing that--but close. He's so adorable when he's horny. "I prefer when you play with me."
Hob hums and wheels his office chair closer, surveying the little toys and tools. He knows they work just as well as the human-sized ones, and doesn't require batteries to operate. "You know I still have to upload my students' grades, yeah?"
Dream huffs and shoots a glare over Hob's shoulder towards his laptop. Hob hopes he won't set it on fire like he did the last time. "Do they take priority over me?"
Hob smiles at him and pokes him gently on the tummy. The pad of his forefinger almost encompasses half of Dream's stomach area. "You know nothing in this world has priority over you."
Dream raises his chin, and Hob does not miss the little 'hmph!' sound he made, though his cheeks flush with pleasure at Hob's words. "Then prove it."
"Taunting me?" Hob asks, and gently caresses Dream's cheek. "That's not very nice." He picks up the little handcuffs from the instrument table and shows them to Dream. "Color?"
Dream sighs, impatient to begin as always, but answers dutifully. "Green."
Hob makes a kissy sound because he cannot possibly give Dream a kiss on the lips right now, and snaps the handcuffs around Dream's wrists before fastening the chain on the hook above the chair. "All good?"
Dream nods. "Yes."
Hob then adjusts the stirrups so Dream's cute little butt is exposed even more. He spies the tell-tale wetness dripping from Dream's pussy and hole, and tsks. "What a mess you're already making, darling. So wet for me and we haven't even begun."
Dream squirms but does not close his legs. "It's not my fault you made me wait."
"For a few seconds?" Hob asks incredulously. "No, I don't think that would do. I think good boys need to learn how to wait." He picks up a couple of vibrating dildos from the instrument table and flicks their switches. They turn on and buzz against his fingers. "How many times do you think you'll cum with these while I finish my task?"
Dream whines. "Hob, please--"
"How many, Dream?"
"I don't--"
"You don't know? Poor baby," Hob coos. "Shall we find out? Will you count for me?"
Dream squirms a little, but nods bravely, and Hob could hear a tiny squelching sound against the seat. Adorable. He's going to have the chair covered in his slick by the time Hob is done with him.
--
Hob...does his best to upload his students' grades correctly, and in doing so takes longer than he usually would have, as he keeps getting distracted with the sound of Dream orgasming again and again behind him, and him actively listening for Dream saying his safeword. He feels like he's taking ages.
By the time the task is finally done though, he is rock hard inside his trousers, and he has counted a grand total of 37 orgasms. And not once had Dream uttered his safeword or, in his overwhelmed state, changed back to human-sized Dream.
And when Hob finally shut his laptop down and looks behind him--
"Oh, my love."
Dream looks wrecked. He is a drooling, teary-eyed mess, weakly fucking himself on his toys that Hob had made sure would not slip out of him with a couple of harnesses. His holes look beautiful around the toys, puffy and swollen and lovely pink in color. Were it not for the harnesses, the dildos would have slipped out completely. As it was, they remained buried deep inside Dream, and possibly reaching deeper inside him as time went on and he got looser.
And the chair Dream is sitting on? Entirely drenched in slick and cum. A section of the dungeon floor near the chair is even wet. Dream must have orgasmed so hard he squirted. Perhaps multiple times.
Hob bites his lip and touches himself through his trousers, just watching Dream for a few seconds more, as he moans weakly and squeezes around his toys, though he shudders and releases more slick when he turns his head a little and sees Hob's attention is now focused entirely on him.
Beautiful thing. Hob has never seen anything quite so exquisite. Hob unbuckles his belt and undresses, taking his time with it and watching Dream ride his toys a little harder when Hob's cock is revealed, already thick and coated in precome.
Hob smirks. Too bad that's currently not for Dream to play with today, no matter how much he begs.
"Okay, love?"
Dream shudders at the sound of his voice and nods, moaning Hob's name weakly. But he says something else too, though it was too low for Hob to catch.
"What was that, lovely?"
"Thir-thirty seven," Dream says, staring into Hob's eyes lovingly. "I counted. You told me to count a-and I did."
Oh, Hob's chest is bursting with pride. He turns off the toys, ignoring Dream's whine, and reaches for the rope on one side of the room to ring the castle's dumbwaiter for some water.
Because of course Dream's doll castle has a dumbwaiter in every room.
The water arrives immediately, and Hob carefully maneuvers the small pitcher to pour water over an equally small glass, puts the straw in, and holds the glass in front of Dream's face.
Dream drinks the water dutifully. Hob makes him drink until the pitcher is empty, then returns the serving tray to the dumbwaiter to send it back to be magically cleaned.
"Color?"
"Green," Dream says.
Hob strokes his cock and holds his precome-covered thumb in front of Dream's face.
Dream immediately leans forward and starts licking the surface like a cat. When he is done and has placed a kiss on the pad of Hob's thumb, Hob withdraws his hand and just gazes at him with love and pride both.
The toys are still inside Dream, but they seem like an afterthought to him at the moment, more focused is he on angling his body to better show himself off to Hob's loving eyes.
"My good boy," Hob murmurs, and gently unclasps the harnesses and even more gently pulls the dildos out of Dream's body. Dream mewls at the action, his tiny little pussy and hole twitching cutely even as they gaped for a second when the toys are removed. Hob caresses his long pale legs softly with a forefinger. "Oh, my sweet, obedient little boy. You did so well for me."
Dream sobs as his legs tremble at Hob's words and his touch. "Want you."
"And you will have me," Hob promises him. "But later. When you're back to human-sized. Now, I know you've been gagging to have the double-ended dildo inside both your holes while you're in this form, and I think you deserve--"
"No," Dream shakes his head. "I want..." He falters for a moment, shy, and Hob urges him on with soft comforting sounds. If he can provide whatever it was, then Dream will have it. "I want your thumb."
Hob's forefinger, currently rubbing Dream's left leg up and down, freezes in place. "Darling--"
Dream whines. "I'm loose enough," he says. "I can take it. I made sure I could."
Hob looks towards the dildos he set aside doubtfully. They weren't big enough to prepare either of Dream's holes for his thumb.
And then it hit him.
"You changed the toys' size while I had my back turned."
Now Dream pouts. "It's not my fault you weren't paying attention to me."
Hob could not help but grin at that sign of disobedience. It seems like Dream still has some brattiness left to fuck out of him.
"Well," Hob says generously, and resumes rubbing Dream's leg with his forefinger, "now that you have my full attention, let's see how well you stretch for me, hmm?"
Dream looks up hopefully. "You'll give me your thumb?"
Hob chuckles. "I don't think so, naughty boy. I'm afraid that's a treat for the truly well-behaved boys. And while you had been good counting your orgasms for me, and you did tell me how you got yourself stretched so beautifully, you also did not follow my instruction to the letter. And we did talk about safewords and shapeshifting in general before we did this play, yes?"
Dream nods, but now he looks miserable, probably thinking that Hob isn't going to give him any reward at all.
Hob is not that cruel. And especially not to Dream, whom he loves most in the world. "Oh, darling." Hob carefully wipes a tear from Dream's cheek. "I will give you a reward. Just not my thumb right now."
"The double-ended dildo then, please," Dream says, politely now. "And I won't change its size or...or be naughty again."
Hob rubs his forefinger on Dream's head in a patting motion. "Good boy. But I was thinking if maybe you would like to have something else instead."
Dream tilts his head curiously. "What do you suggest?"
Hob rubs Dream's arms to check if he's still okay, and Dream nods once. "What about my pinky?"
Hob immediately feels Dream's entire body perking up at that, and hurries to add, "Not entirely inside, of course, but...well, just the tip."
--
Dream is having the time of his life as Hob (very carefully) fucks him with the very tip of his liberally lubed pinky. He's holding on to the connecting chain of his cuffs for dear life, and his legs had all but wrapped themselves around Hob's wrist, toes curling and entire body rocking with Hob's thrusts.
"Hob, oh, please--your pinky is stretching me so good--" Dream's head is tilted backwards, and Hob could bet that his eyes are rolling up his head as well. "More. More, please. Fill me. Fill me, I need it--"
Hob makes gentle shushing noises but continues to give Dream what he wants. "Look at your pretty little pussy, darling, slicking my finger even further and looking so tempting. And your tiny hole gaping so wonderfully wide. Do you really think you can take my thumb someday?"
Dream sobs. "I can take it now. Please! I promise, I promise, I can take it--"
"I said no, darling," Hob says sternly, though Dream just whines at the sound of his strict voice and more slick gushes out of him. "Now, are you just about to cum?"
Dream nods wildly. Orgasm number 40 is far behind them, and frankly, Hob doesn't know what number they're on right now. "Alright, baby. One last orgasm out of you, and then I'll give you some lovely aftercare."
Warning issued, Hob fucks him harder, and Dream wails as almost a quarter of Hob's pinky breaches him. "Feels good?" Hob asks, an idea forming in his head. When Dream does not answer verbally and just nods, Hob knows that he's about to squirt at any time.
He stills his pinky while the tip is still inside and, before Dream could cry in protest and curse his balls to shrivel up, Hob has leaned forward and thrust just the very tip of his warm tongue inside Dream's slutty little cunt while his pinky resumes thrusting in and out of Dream's loose hole. Dream's legs tighten around his wrist in shock, and when Hob flicks his tongue just the tiniest amount, making contact with Dream's swollen clit--
Dream shrieks and his thighs tremble, his pussy squirting all over Hob's tongue, with Hob immediately lapping up his juices, moaning all the while, his own cock drooling precome on the floor at Dream's taste.
When he surfaces, Dream is limp, body twitching intermittently, but his legs remained tight around Hob's wrist, and he smiles when he meets Hob's gaze. "Do I taste good?"
Hob licks his lips and gently arranges Dream's legs back on the stirrups, then uncuffs Dream's wrists, massaging his arms and carefully laying him down on the seat. "Always, darling," Hob tells him. "You know you always taste so fucking delicious, even when you're tiny."
Dream moans and licks his lips. "Want to taste you as well," he slurs out. "Cum on me. I want to finger myself with your cum all over me."
Hob curses. "Darling--"
"Please," Dream says. "Just one more. Just need to see you play with yourself too. Show me that I can make you feel good, too."
Hob is helpless to resist. Dream is looking up with him with literal heart eyes, and he has even waved away his lingerie, leaving him entirely naked. He really wants to be covered in cum from head to toe.
Hob stands and starts pumping himself, looking at Dream spreading his legs wide, wet gaping holes on display, and even--
"Fuck."
"Yes?" Dream asks innocently even as he places his palms on his asscheeks to open himself up further, to make sure he catches Hob's seed inside both his holes.
The final straw is Dream opening his mouth, tongue out, waiting so very patiently for Hob to shower him with cum.
Hob groans and aims as best he could, stroking once, twice, thrice, his cum landing on Dream's chin area and filling his mouth but not his nose, his flat abdomen, his long, pale legs, and yes, the greatest amount right at his spread open holes.
Dream moans throatily as he gets covered. "So warm," he mumbles, sounding cumdrunk and totally out of it. "You came so much."
Hob wrings the last drops over Dream's waiting mouth, which has already swallowed his earlier shot. Dream receives it gratefully and even cheekily leans upward to lick at the head of Hob's cock. Hob shouldn't even feel the tiny tongue, but the smallest pressure of it has him shivering, and another dollop of cum is wrung out of him. "Fuck, Dream, you absolute minx--"
Dream rubs the cum on his abdomen over his breasts, squeezing his tits together and pinching his nipples. "We should've used the nipple clamps."
"Next time," Hob promises breathlessly. "And I'll attach vibrators to them, too."
Dream shudders at that image and his hands fly to his holes, one hand fingering his pussy, and the other one fingering his hole, getting a copious amount of Hob's cum inside him.
"Fuck," Hob says, enthralled at the slutty display. He wishes he could have filmed their session.
"Tell me," Dream says. "Tell me what you want to do to me next time."
His insatiable little boyfriend. Just one more he says, but at this rate, and if Hob doesn't put his foot down and get him some more water and provide him aftercare, they're going to be at this all night.
"If you're good," Hob begins, "I'll let you play with my cock all afternoon. I know it's almost as big as you, darling, so don't even think about putting me inside you, but you can worship me as you like; lick me or rub your cute tits on me--"
"I'm going to sit at the tip," Dream tells him, still fingering himself and getting more worked up as he speaks. "Right where your slit is. And I'm going to grind on you until your precome drenches my entire lower body. Until you cum right into my holes. I'm going to wrap my legs around you and make sure all your tasty cum is deposited inside me I could taste it on the back of my throat."
Hob groans at that and his cock twitches at the image. "Dream--"
"Tell me," Dream pleads, and Hob realizes that the rhythm of Dream's fingers are becoming erratic.
Hob smiles down at him and runs his forefinger up and down Dream's cum-slick torso. Dream mewls at the contact and thrusts his fingers faster. "I didn't think tiny you would be so much sluttier than human-sized you, but here you are, proving me wrong. How can my good boy be such a whore? Always wanting my cum all over him and pushing it deep inside his holes? What are you trying to achieve here, baby? Are you trying to get my seed to take? Is that it? You want to be round and pregnant when we do this next time? Lactating from your pert little breasts while you squirt all over yourself on my tongue? On my thumb?"
Dream wails, high and helpless, as Hob's words and his accompanying daydreams make him cum once more, his own fingers deep inside himself, while Hob gently massages his breasts with his fore and middle fingers, rubbing his cute little nipples.
Hob watches him raptly, his beautiful, ridiculously sexy boyfriend, and waits until he stops cumming, murmuring soft words all the while and helping him down from his high.
As he's waiting, he rings the dumbwaiter for some more water, and once again carefully handles the tiny pitcher and the glass that came with it.
"Here, darling," Hob says when Dream's orgasm tapers off, leaving him limp and lying on the seat, totally drained. "Have some more water."
Dream gratefully sips from the straw, and Hob once again gets him to drink until the entire pitcher is empty.
Once it is, and once Hob has set the tray back inside the dumbwaiter, he turns his entire focus on Dream, who is still absently scooping more of Hob's cum inside his holes.
"Feel better?" Hob asks him, rubbing at his legs and calves in between his forefinger and thumb.
Dream hums, still idly fingering himself. "Yes, thank you."
"Feeling adequately played with?"
Now Dream smirks up at him and squeezes his holes, making Hob's cum drip from them. Hob groans and looks away so he wouldn't be tempted to lick Dream all over. Like the little minx is probably wanting. "Yes, Hob. Thank you for playing with me."
Hob snorts at that and shakes his head. "Alright, enough of that, you ridiculous thing. Time to bathe, and then you're gonna turn human-sized for some proper cuddling."
Dream hums and allows Hob to lift him from the seat carefully with his hands, then scoops his entire body up with a single hand. Dream waves his hand so the doll castle's sex dungeon is replaced with the master bathroom, and he waits patiently as Hob fiddles with the giant bathtub with one hand and it fills with warm fragrant water.
"I love you," Dream says, still sitting on the palm of Hob's hand and playing with his fingers. "Thank you for indulging me today."
Hob leans down to kiss the top of Dream's head. "Of course, darling. Anything you need."
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