#yes i HAVE been watching the caleb scene over and over again. how could you tell | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

feuerwizard · 19 days

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do you have any unpopular opinions about caleb?

to clarify: no one in the rpc is guilty of what i am about to explain, more of the general c/ritical r/ole fandom as a whole!

i wouldn't say this is an unpopular opinion necessarily as much as i do find it a bit frustrating that the c/ritical r/ole fandom as a whole sometimes tends to overlook or ignore what a bad person early campaign caleb really was. they sort of just simplify him to sad quirky boy who likes cats and by the end, he's less sad quirky boy who likes cats.

a bit of caleb meta under the cut because i am obsessed with him.

this is not exclusive to the critical role fandom of course, but fandom, in general, can sometimes ignore a character arc starting from a less-than-ideal place if they have deemed that particular character as a favorite boy who can do no wrong. this absolutely happens in discussions surrounding caleb and his character arc because he ends up in such a positive (or positive for him) place by the end of the campaign. it's very easy to ignore the low if you can choose instead to focus on the high.

as a writer, this is something i feel very passionate about not doing. caleb is such an interesting character to me because of where he came from and the growth he overcomes throughout his character arc. is caleb as bad as trent? absolutely not, but he was still a pretty shitty person and extremely single-minded in his pursuits. even if his motivations were noble (saving his parents from himself) i think we have seen from a lot of popular media that even the best of villains start from noble pursuits. not saying caleb is a villain, not at all, but you get my point. he was clearly struggling with his worst instincts and it's his friends that caused him to start looking inwards.

don't believe me? ask liam o'brien!

i've been watching a lot of old liam interviews where he talks about early campaign caleb and this one stood out to me as the most direct example of the demons caleb was fighting with every day and how he sometimes allowed them to win. when asked why caleb chose to do the blood pact with fjord, this is what he said.

“…he saw fjord become tempted by power and in that moment, he’s very much like trent, the man who molded him, saw a split second in time where he [fjord] had hunger in his eyes and thought that it could be molded or bent for caleb’s use. and thought, I could take a risk here….and use him and pull a favor out of this.”

this is very crappy and manipulative behavior towards a friend! liam then follows it up by expressing how guilty caleb felt over it due to his increasing care of the nein.

"caleb was disgusted with himself at that moment...i think that he was a product of his schooling in that moment. and part of him was like 'yes' but most of him went you fucking piece of filth. look at you."

was caleb, as a child, a victim of abuse grooming? absolutely. did this mold caleb into someone not super great? also yes. both things can be true and it doesn't minimize the abuse that caleb suffered. he's a product of his environment and that's what makes his growth so powerful. love saves people. he is genuinely changed by the friends in his life who chose to look past his mistakes and the man that trent molded him into and instead saw him for the person he could choose to be now. caleb is extremely kind and painstakingly earnest. he just needed the right people in his life to allow that to come out again. to allow the softness.

when caleb is talking to essek in the infamous forehead kiss scene, he is not talking just talking about the mistakes he made as a young teenager in killing his family, but he is also referring to the person he was when he met the nein. that is the fool in caleb's mind. not a manipulated child bren. he sees a lot of himself in essek because i think he sees how easily he could have become essek if not for the nein. and also why essek's redemption is so meaningful to him. if essek can do it, maybe he can too.

trauma doesn't define either of them.

i feel so passionate about this because i think caleb's character arc is genuinely one of the most powerful explorations of trauma and healing i've ever seen in a fictional property and overlooking the person he was at the beginning is a disservice to how far he comes by the end. the genuinely good person he grows into becoming.

"pain doesn’t make people. it’s love that makes people. the pain is inconsequential. it’s love that saves them."

#☼*・ﾟ Headcanons — ↳ caleb widogast (forged in fire)#( anon... i am so sorry lmao )#( i feel like a lot of this is not even an unpopular opinion so maybe i just needed an excuse to talk about caleb )#( listen i just love caleb so much okay )#( his growth is so important to me )

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jakeluppin · 3 months

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a couple asks ago, you said "whenever I start working on my novel, the first song I listen to is Pin" and now i'm super curious about your novel!! care to share any details??

okay so i have two (well, i have like twenty i've done bits on since i started writing but two that are still somewhat being worked on now) but one of them is barely anything beyond a rough idea so i'll focus on the one that's more legit

i wrote about 90% of a first draft (about 60K) and then realized there were some fundamental issues with it so i started over

i have about 16K done of my new draft, some of which is brand new and some of which is revised from the first

it's a ya romance because that's where my heart has always been

for main characters we have (which as i'm writing these i realize i am So Bad at describing characters in this way whoops):

jake - jewish trans guys who is only out to his older sister (rachel). at this point, their parents are gone/dead (i've been back and forth on exactly what went down) so rachel's raising him. he's been in love with his best friend (caleb) since basically forever. he does stage crew for his school's theater department.

caleb - jake's best friend. he's gay. he has a crush on their mutual friend peter. he's one of those people who are just so loving that it's so easily to just get lost in. but also a total dick at the same time?

peter - he's really into theater, always in every production, which is how jake and peter met. just before the story starts peter and caleb were running lines for something and peter kisses caleb. described by other characters as being the nicest person you've ever met.

and then there's asher - his family just moved to town as his mom is the new cantor at jake's synagogue. he's also into theater and auditions for the fall musical, alongside peter. jake and caleb are there watching and jake hears him sing and is like. oh. shit. i'm in love. it's not revealed until midway through the book but asher is also a trans guy.

it's basically just a coming of age love story where jake finds himself and love and it's just really gay and jewish and probably very self indulgent but who cares?

oh also i have switched which musical they do multiple times for various reasons and right now it's Newsies but it may change again. but obviously asher, my beloved, is cast as davey jacobs so it is pretty perfect in that regard

gonna just throw some random lines/short scenes from draft two under the cut because i can. feel free to not read them haha

“You can’t seriously be doing homework now,” Caleb scoffs a moment later.

I look up from my assignment and just shrug. “I’m simply not as invested in this as you are,” I offer.

“But you should be. For me. This is an important moment in my love life.”

I chuckle. “I love you, Caleb, but I think overall if I was as invested in your love life as you are, that would be a little weird.”

“Nope. I’m pretty sure it’s in the best friend manual that you’re supposed to care about it as much as I do. Sometimes maybe even more.”

“Can I have a copy of this best friend manual? I want to check the exact wording on that.”

“Sorry, only one copy was made and I keep it under lock and key.” Caleb smiles bright, and I roll my eyes in response.

“But seriously, you were amazing at your audition. I’m not just saying that or anything.”

“Thanks. I grew up singing. I think my mom might have disowned me if I didn’t end up with a good voice.”

“Really?”

Asher laughs again. “Wow, you are gullible or I am not as funny as I think I am. But no, my mom would not have disowned me if I didn’t have a good voice.”

It’s this moment that Rabbi Finkle steps out of her office and says, “Asher, don’t lie. No self respecting cantor could stand to have unmusical children, just like I couldn’t stand to have children who do anything but read torah all day.” She smiles at us both, light in her eyes.

“Isn’t your oldest an atheist?” I ask.

“Yes, but he still reads torah ever day.” She laughs.

“So how was it?” I ask, sliding in Caleb’s car. He smiles wide as he turns to face me.

“Peter was amazing. Obviously. There’s something just, sexy about watching a guy dance.” He pauses, sighing, and then says, “I’m really gay.”

I laugh. “Really? I had no idea!”

“Yeah, not like I told you for the first time when we were like, nine or something.”

“Oh yeah, that definitely never happened.”

Caleb chuckles and drives off.

I can vividly remember when Caleb came out, the emotions so strong they stay pressed in mind. I can remember his fear, his hesitation, as he told me in a small voice that he liked boys. I can remember the confusion, not understanding what he meant, not sure what that meant for me. I can remember the happiness and his smile when I said there was nothing wrong with him “like liking” boys. I remember the ache I felt, when after telling him I like boys too, he told me “girls are supposed to like boys.” That ache I didn’t understand, that ache I couldn’t place for years, that ache that would come when Caleb would refer to me as a girl.

“Were you scared telling me?” I ask a few minutes later, even though I know the fundamental answer.

“Of course,” he says. “I was nine. I was gay. And you were my best friend. Why wouldn’t I be afraid?”

I nod in agreement. It’s something that, of course, I can understand. Just the thought of it causes anxiety to crawl up skin, pulling tight at my throat. It stops me from saying the things I want to say, things I know I need to say. The things I can’t imagine ever actually telling him.

Like: I’m in love with you.

Like: I’m trans.

Like: Yes. That means I’m guy. Which, if you remember the I love you part, would make me gay too. Or bi. Not totally sure about that yet.

Like: Main point being, I want to be with you and date you and I know you probably don’t or won’t ever see me as anything but your girl best friend but maybe you could.

Yeah. Probably a good thing I’m not saying any of that.

“...Honestly, the challah was so good and reminded me of mom’s that I had a breakdown. Standard stuff, ya know. Who doesn’t have breakdowns over delicious Jewish foods?”

“Are you even Jewish if you don’t have breakdowns over delicious Jewish food?” Asher counters.

#ezra.txt #renninflight #bet ur sorry you asked now haha

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pirate-of-the-southern-isles · 8 months

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Fanfic snippet - When Hans had learned about the "Troll theory"

Not so long after, the company has spread around the bookshop and disappeared from each other’s sight. Which, as Hans thought, was probably the safest option for him. He was finally able to find a nice chair and sit down for a moment to think about what the hell just happened.

His father, his brothers, his whole family, has spent three years hammering into his head with a burning passion what a shame he brought to them all. And he could even agree with them. And now it turns out that there are some people out there who consider him a hero? How?! Everything was perfectly clear! Anna, in this letter of hers, wrote the truth, the whole truth and only the truth. What was their reason not to believe her?!

It wasn’t like this, like, at all. OK, it was, but in a totally different way. Yes, he was handing over those blankets and jackets, and yes, he found a place in Arendellian palace where people could find a shelter and food, and yes, he was watching over the hot glogg. Yes, that’s true. But he wasn’t doing all this because he cared, he was doing it, because he wanted them to like him and trust him and accept him as their future King. There is a difference. And then… then it was completely not like the lecturer has told, because no, there was no troll magic, that’s impossible. The plan was ready for years! Since Lars has told him about Elsa and how he should consider marrying her!

He shut his eyes and tried to recall that scene. Lars was searching through his maps and wondered why father allows Caleb to run amok – which, in a language of simple folks, was called „causing incidents on borders”. It was right after their mother’s birthday dinner, when the rest of those apes made bullying him a main attraction of the evening, as usual. So, after he had rested in the docks for a while, he went to the library. And then, the twins came to tell Lars about the death of Arendelle’s royal couple. And then… damn, how much he would give to have Lars to shut up this one time.

He remembered it. He remembered the red velvet chairs, a smell of dust and a warm tone of his older brother. He remembered the sound of the doors opening, Rudi and Runo’s stupid faces and papers, blown away from the table by a sudden air movement.

But… if trolls have changed Anna’s memory about Elsa…

Whatever Kristoff says, is irrelevant. He is a side in this conflict. No. Hans had to conduct his own research.

He got up and took the flyer to find an etnography and etnology section. He went right there, not sure if he can trust in his own sanity. Yes, he encountered a lot of creatures with abilities to alter people’s – and other animals – minds with venoms, hypnosis or other stuff. But if it will turn out that he was imprisoned and went through it all only because some trolls wanted to have their own man in the palace…!

Calm down, it is impossible!

Is it?! He just learnt that his ex’s memories were literally changed and cleared, so she couldn’t remember about something as important as her own sister’s magical abilities! Who knows, if…

He suddenly felt sick. He needed to sit down again. There was no time to look for another chair.

Three years.

Three years of hell.

And now someone is stating that there is a possibility he could have been framed?!

If that’s true, I will burn Arendelle to the ground.

No. No, no, no. He couldn’t think like that, not anymore. He grabbed his left ear. He felt the cold of his earrings. Took a few deep breaths. He imagined a night full of stars. Warmth on his skin. Smell of the open sea. Sails’s flapper. Hard, wooden bench by the cabin, right between doors and left stairs. Calm, kind voice of captain Rogers, asking, as usual, the right question.

„If that’s the truth about what happened” imaginary Rogers started „think, what would have happened if they wouldn’t alter your mind.”

„I wouldn’t rot in those stables for three years, that’s what would happen".

„Yes, and you would still be a prince of the Southern Isles. Were you happy back then?”.

„Happier than a slave in those stables”.

„Let’s try differently. That night, you know which one… where would you be, if you were still a prince?”.

Hans took a breath. A sea. A smell of salt.

„I would be… probably in my chambers. Or in Arendelle, depends if I would convince one of them to marry me”.

„So you wouldn’t be in your cell, is that correct?”

A big explosion. Boom. Pieces of wall, made of a black stone which was not supposed to break under any artillery, but then it did. A cannonball that brought him a new life.

„That’s correct. I wouldn’t be there”.

Waves crashing on broadsides. Morning Star’s gentle rocking.

„Are you happy as a pirate?”.

He smiled. Now he was remembering different things. His head was suddenly flooded by the bright, happy memories. Layla’s insane laugh. The first time when he tasted a coconut. Mango, purring in his lap. Successfull boarding upon some unsuspecting ship. His crew cheering. How the world looks like from a crow’s nest. Egg patting his back. A bet with Bernard, easily winned. A sight of a group of wild buffalos, when they once anchored in the New World. The day when he became a captain. The first time in the Republic, when he saw how different the world can be. Dancing in their favourite bar. Meeting new friends. Those evenings with shanties on their deck. Yet another one lost treasure retrieved. Cannons’s boom and reckless duels, sacks of gold and chests of jewels.

„Yes” he said, almost out loud.

„I am glad” Roger’s face was brightened by a smile. „But let’s wonder… would you become a pirate if you weren’t there that night? In the exactly right place in the exactly right time?”.

It was a tough question. The pirates were all over the place. He could, in theory, grab and make his offer to any of them. But would he be desperate enough to change his life this radically?

No, he admitted right away. In this case – no. In this case he would probably stay with his lovely family and be miserable till the end of his days.

„So… if they really did something to my brain… I should be grateful?”

„Dear Neptune, no! I didn’t say it. If that’s really their work and you went to Arendelle with truly good intentions, then you have every right to be furious. And I am saying like Davy Jones’ level of fury.”

„Exactly!”

„But, in the end, your fate was changed. I think, for the better. Wasn’t it?”

Without those three years in stables he wouldn’t became a pirate, that’s for sure. There wouldn’t be the first time crossing the Equator. There wouldn’t be passage round the Horn of the South. He wouldn’t get himself tattoos or earrings – hell, he wouldn’t even think about it! He wouldn’t be laying down on the incredibly soft, white beaches of the Coconut Isles. He wouldn’t see volcanos explode, nor the whale’s inside, not the Pearly Gates open down in the Southern Ocean. Layla wouldn’t teach him to play stories. Bernard wouldn’t teach him how to shoot a musket and a colt. He wouldn’t have met many people he was no longer able to imagine his life without.

He wouldn’t have met captain Rogers.

It was all truth, but those three years were so damn hard.

It just… He just wished he was certain that he had deserved it. Because if it turns out that he had to endure this nightmare without any actual fault of his own, then… then it would make it, somehow, a lot worse.

----

Chapter 35, "The Pirate of the Southern Isles".

So, Hans and his guests were able to hear what the rest of the world is thinking about events from six years ago in Arendelle. It is safe to say that it didn't go exactly how they imagined it will. What they have heard was basically one, big, fat Hans' defence and laudation. Including the famous "Troll theory" - a theory in which it was the trolls who actually made Hans evil, to "get the fiancee out of the way" for Kristoff.

When Hans heard about it - and learnt that they did the same thing to Anna - he started to question his own sanity and bought himself a lot of books to learn about the trolls and their abilities.

...but no, his mind wasn't altered. It was still, to his own relief, all his fault.

When Hans is overwhelmed, or sad, or angry, or when he has to make a choice he is not sure about because his moral reasoning is still a little off, he grabs his left ear (the one with the earrings) and try to ask himself "What would captain Rogers say?", because captain Rogers (the captain of the "Morning Star", Hans escaped from the Isles on its deck) is his final authority now.

Sorry about all the mistakes, English is still not my native language.

#frozen #hans of the southern isles #hans westergaard #prince hans #the southern isles #fanfic #fanfiction #westergaards #you can always be a pirate #arendelle #gran pabbie #trolls of arendelle #the troll theory #lars westergaard #prince lars westergaard #prince lars of the southern isles #runo westergaard #rudi westargaard #rudi and runo of the southern isles

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noahtally-famous · 10 months

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td 2023 s2 ep1 spoilers below the cut

(okay so I have not finished s1 but I know the general gist of what happens through mutuals posts and just the td tag lmaoo. maybe later I will actually sit down and watch the whole thing, but that time is not now.)

moving onto my thoughts of s2...

AHHHHHHHH idk how else to explain it but I absolutely LOVED the episode, and honestly I have a feeling I'll love this season, simply bc everyone is so great!!

heck even ripper and chase were tolerable, like, there weren't any fart jokes or anything, it was great!

MKULIA SWEEP???? HELL FREAKING YEAH idc if it's a friendship/alliance, I'm living in my world where they're toxic yuri

Caleb getting some much-needed character development??? I'm SO here for it, and the stuff mentioned during the episode def fits the kinda vibe I have going for him, so that's even better!! (potential caleb & emma friendship??? they can bond over kittens and of caleb being emotionally mature)

also his reactions to the team choosing was gold, I can't wait to see what A-Game he's gonna bring. I'm hoping he doesn't become a version of justin--I just want him to want to be a useful teammate and person for his team/friends/competitors and want to win as well. no overly crazy 'tda justin' villanry pls?? (I mean, I won't be averse to it if it does end up happening, but it'd be cool if things changed up this time around)

CHEMMA BROKE UP THANK FRICKING GOD, our prayers have been answered!! please please PLEASE have them stay broken up

raj & wayne on the same team again!! I was not expecting that tbh, but I'm curious to see where this goes

rajbow is so adorable, like bowie not even letting chris finish before he immediately picks raj first for his team is so 🥹

ngl chase is still a dumbass but now that chemma is out of the way, I mean it affectionately, I can't bring myself to hate any of the characters and that trend isn't going to stop here. that moment when he ran at granny hatchet and bowie was like "I don't believe it, I think he's gonna make it" like that scene was insane

damien is amazing as always, no words need to be said. manifesting a final two involving him

NICHELLE. FUCKING NICHELLE. GOD I CANNOT ARTICULATE HOW MUCH I ADORE HER HERE!! saving the best for last goddammit, I love her so so so so much, omfg the way she slayed the challenge, pls I'm so hyped for her character development this season, I can't wait for the other contestants to eat their words abt her

axel trying to 'be nice' ("i'm a work in progress" yes you are but you're doing amazing) but acting like an ass to ripper is something I live for. "I'm not following you, we're running in the same direction!" LMAOOOO

the fact that priya doesn't hold any resentment toward her parents still irks me, but I still love her character and I'm excited to see what's in store for her

GRANNY HATCHET SLAYED, 'NUFF SAID

I'm still hoping for some axelle content, but I'm more than happy with the mkulia servings we got

I'm lowkey interested in scary girl's change of character. I feel like this wont be the last we see of her--will she be like an amy and swim back to the island to enact revenge? or will she be like ezekiel and live on the island in secret? or will she be a secret third thing? I sure as heck don't know but I can't wait to find out!! her parting words def seem ominous enough to imply something

speaking of, scary girl's change of character and when she talked abt how she became "normal" everyone's reactions were sending me lmaooo

bowie going "you're never right" to chase but is the one to choose chase on his team, like yes dude frrr that frenemy whiplash was wack lmaoo I love it

same with bowie choosing julia, like yes we love to see two manipulative competitive strategists banding together

on a different note, I wonder what will come of bowie and emma's friendship from s1 and how that broke apart. maybe they could rekindle it in s2? hmmm

zee and their suitcase of sodas 😭

"she's an animal" OKAY MK TONE IT DOWN (pls don't, actually pls continue doing it) YOU'RE NOT HELPING MY MKULIA CASE HERE

millie being priya's first pick >>>

"what strategy? you just stop and run, it's not rocket surgery" 😭 I used to dislike ripper, but if he continues on like this, that opinion will def change. it's only been the first episode and I already don't dislike him anymore so-

MORE MKULIA P L E A S E IM HOPING

chris is still 'tdi chris' aka the b e s t chris imo, and I'm here for it!! also chef and chris's dynamic is still spot-on

in conclusion, im so very excited for what this season will bring!! in case you didn't realize, I LOVED the first episode!

#noahtally-famous #total drama #kit stuff #total drama 2023 #td 2023 spoilers #td spoilers

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captainsspnanon · 1 year

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C2E68 - Reflections - rewatch

My brain is skipping around a lot today and this episode is once again encounter heavy, let’s see how far I can make it in before my head shuts down.

Did I literally have to look up how to search for things on twitter to see if Sam actually live posted? Yes. Did he actually live post? Not according to what I could find via searching. I’m disappointed, he could have copy/pasted to do them! If he DID do them and they just got removed or didn’t show via my searching, I’m even more sad.

Wait no they’re reacting like it’s real? Did they get taken down? Just not show via search?? OH WAIT I’m looking at the day the episode posted, June 24 2019! But it would have been June 20th! *researches* AH HA!!! I am now pleased. It does seem like there are still a few that are ‘missing’, unsure if not actually sent or if somehow lost to easy searchability. Had to snip these together, the search had them all out of order.

As Nott and Yasha keep watch, and Nott introduces the idea of thinking of what’s the worst thing that could happen, I did not put it together originally that as Yasha discusses being tortured and chained up and dying that way that it’s essentially what happened to her with the Iron Shepherds. (...she doesn’t have a lot of luck with people whose names contain ‘Iron’, does she?)

As I started this scene, I was thinking about how much I love the tower and wish that they had it for more of the campaign so that we could have more scenes in it (I will never get enough of the tower), but episodes like this really wouldn’t have such poignant and important moments if they had the pretty-much-guaranteed safety of the tower. In a sense, the dome actually is much more meaningful to the Nein, simply for how long they had it, and how it provides a relative safety while still needing watches due to uncertainty, whereas watches in the tower are usually unneeded. ….now I’m doing my Mansion = VM, dome = M9 thing where they are more scrappy and living rougher. I really wonder if I would like VM more if I was able to watch a lot more of their earlier play. I don’t think so, because the group really needed to grow in terms of home-game-antics versus live-show-antics, but I miss the fact that we didn’t see the early days of VM the same way we do with the Nein. ...I just live the Nein so much you guys. SO MUCH.

“What do you mean Caleb killed his whole family?” THIS. ENTIRE. SCENE. Chefs kiss, a million out of ten, no notes at all. Sam is doing a lot of heavy lifting but Ashley is coming in with some GREAT punches “I’ll be sure to use it in front of the entire group, I’ll sound trendy”. And of course, all of this capped off by just watching EVERYONE die repeatedly in the background. CONTINUOUSLY.

In all serious, this is by far pretty much the best moment of showing how, in all three campaigns, sometimes people forget who knows what – just because it’s been so long that they’ve been playing. Liam, by all rights, could have been annoyed with Sam from dropping a huge plot point of Caleb’s background, especially just completely offhand and with no way for Caleb to even take control of the narrative for a moment. But he doesn’t. There’s such a give and take, trust and understanding at this table that I think viewers repeatedly forget. Bowlgate would never have reached the level it did if people didn’t think that Marisha and Liam were actually upset at each other over it. I remember an argument in C1 between Keyleth and Percy where the fans were TEARING Keyleth/Marisha apart, and then in the Talks after Marisha and Taliesin were talking about how funny it was because they, out of character, were completely agreeing with each OTHER’S arguments and not their own. So when accidents like this happen, there are no hard feelings and fights off camera. MAYBE, at most, Liam may have reminded Sam ‘hey that’s kind of a big thing, can you make sure you don’t bring it up with anyone else until I do, in game?’, but I very much doubt that conversation was had. (plus it’s pretty damn obvious to anyone with eyes that Liam is clearly enjoying this more than anyone else with how hard he’s laughing the entire time.)

Even better is the whiplash from such a funny scene into Caleb and Beau discussing what comes after death. This is something where I wonder if Liam had wanted to have this conversation with Beau, or if he knew it would work very well after such a funny bit to immediately move into something very dark. Interestingly, Caleb never felt to me like a PC that really ruminated on what comes after death. I can see him thinking about it more once he finally lays to rest the idea of turning back time to save his parents. I wonder if this was an early moment where he started thinking about maybe not actually taking that final step and then having to think of an after life where his parents weren’t saved. Liam was so unsure of what he would do if presented the chance, even all the way towards the end of the campaign. We never really get a resolution of if Matt would ever have let it happen the way that Liam/Caleb planned, even if it was all nat 20s, and I honestly think that’s the best for the story. Let us not know, the same way that Caleb doesn’t know. It’s the most narratively satisfying to me – I would not enjoy a story where he failed and despaired for failing, and I don’t know how Caleb would progress in a story where he succeeded and then all of a sudden it’s on Matt – do his parents forgive him? Hate him? Where do you go from there? Ending with him accepting himself, accepting his grief and responsibility as well as his lack of responsibility, it leaves much more for Caleb after the campaign ends.

Omg I forgot Caleb talks to Beau about how he’s feeling so awkward with the situation with Nott!!! I’m not saying I ship Widobrave and I’m also not saying that I DON’T ship Widobrave, but the Caleb and Nott dynamic is of the best pairing dynamics in all three campaigns bite me. (I was about to say that the only one that came close was Vex and Vax, but then I’m like wait what about Caleb and Beau, and Beau and Fjord?? So okay, I guess THOSE are my top four dynamics) It’s fun thinking about how much Beau and Caleb hated each other at the beginning of the campaign, and now he’s asking for relationship advice. THE BEST.

For all of the fact that the Fjord and Caduceus dynamic is amazing, they actually don’t have a ton of scenes together that I remember. This one, acknowledging fear with a very small mention of the gods, was very sweet.

Wait wasn’t Frumpkin a cat? ‘Cause he explored the tunnels leading in? ...Yes! Because Caleb turned him from vulture to cat when they were staying at the store place! Eh, it happens occasionally. That’s how we got a flying spider back during the Iron Shepherds bit. (goddamn it I ALWAYS want to type ‘shephard’.)

Aww!!! A C1 reference I missed the first time around, as they’re talking about being very quiet on the metal bridge they make a few ‘clang clang clang’ references to Pike.

I actually really like this part of the Gibbering Mouther encounter because while it’s just continuously rolling stealth, it provides tension without really dragging down the game. It helps to have the physical bridge there but only seeing a part of it at a time. The group doesn’t know how many times Matt’s going to keep laying out maps, but it’s also not an interminable time with theatre of the mind.

(Liam going ‘where are you Vax?’ and Marisha going ‘dead.’ 10/10)

“Laura’s calling” I love this so much

Solid credit to Matt for planning this encounter. He was reasonably able to assume pass without a trace would help them get across easily enough, so there’s disadvantage when they are at the center of the bridge, there’s a rusted out plank (I wonder if that would have existed if Nott hadn’t been searching for traps, or if it was credit for the high roll), there’s a roper ensuring that some noise would be made just due to natural combat, without penalizing any players for their actions, Matt designed this so that there would HAVE to be a multitude of wisdom saves. Plus, while I’m not sure what the rolls are, either Matt is consistently rolling ‘bad’, or there is a higher chance that a PC just loses their turn, rather than leaps off the edge or attacks someone, so it also doesn’t feel super targeted. Out of the five build-up encounters of this area (spiders, lightning, zombies, this, and then mirror people) this one is my favorite. (though in all fairness I also completely forgot about the mirror people until I saw them on critrolestats, so….)

Interesting with the conversation with Liam about holding a spell as a reaction, I thought you could use a different spell for your reaction but you’d lose your held spell. I can’t find an easy answer on google though, so who knows. I’m pretty sure he wanted to use feather fall. Whether it’s accurate to rules or not, I think I would have ruled that he could cast feather fall, but lost the slow spell including still losing the spell slot for it. (then again, Matt consistently rules that you can’t move for a held action, but RAW you can, from what I can tell) Also I feel like he’s ruled differently about this later on. Ah, mechanics. So not my forte.

*later*

*grits teeth* I must not scream about my bullshit coworkers. I must not vent about my coworkers online where, even though this is an anonymous site, there is always the slight possibility that they will find the posts. I will ONLY say through teeth clenched so hard that they might crack, wonderful to know that you can take a month and a half to get me information that I needed (which other people were getting on my back about not being completed and I had to keep reminding them that I cannot make the decisions you make), but now that you need information from me – in a SIGNIFICANT amount of detail – you’re getting all pissy that I’m saying it might take me a week to do. You know, after all the shit that I have to do with my regular work, PLUS the fact that you only just got me the info *I* needed, and updating what I need to do will take time! But no, you get to send multiple high importance emails and give me shit that I can’t get it to you fast enough.

*screams*

Okay, with that vent done and to deal with all that shit tomorrow at work, time to get back into an awesome encounter. Which I think is almost done? Just time for the Laura/Travis/Matt interaction about player agency that I will talk about once it hits.

And there it is! In fairness to Travis, the message from Laura was not ‘do this’ and he was saying no. It was preceded with an ‘if’ (though the wording details are of course unknown). While him refusing to do something that Laura tells him directly to do is a sheer dick move, the fact that in the moment he is uncertain about if the ‘if’ factor qualified, or if her plans would have changed, the fact that there was a delay, I can understand his motive. Especially because he didn’t have Jester do something else, he had her hold her action, which then, assuming Laura clarified, he could then ask Matt to do whatever it was.

On the other hand, once again, fantastic table. Sam gets clarification multiple times that Travis is not doing what he was requested to (done in a humorous and exaggerated effect, but also still clearly checking in and bringing it to attention – likely that this was a choice he disapproved of but didn’t want to come right out and say it). After Sam does his spiel (I SWEAR that word should have an H in it somewhere, fuck spelling), Matt, having very clearly picked up what Sam was putting down, gives Travis another opportunity for clarification. Is Travis, being given clear instructions, disregarding a player’s agency because she was not there. And this is the moment that Travis clarifies the ‘if’ that Laura had originally given him.

Now, I’m not one to over analyze microexpressions (I mean, yes I kind of am, shut up), but when Sam starts his bit, you can visibly see Matt 1) turn to completely face Travis, 2) get a more serious cast to his face, and 3) start to open his mouth, only to allow Sam to finish before he goes to Travis for clarification. There’s a lot of situations at the table where I wonder what would have happened if a moment went differently, or what a conversation would be off screen, but here, I don’t really need to imagine much. If Travis had refused, if he hadn’t clarified the ‘if’ statement, I would lay solid money down that Matt would have told him that Laura’s judgement ruled, regardless of what Travis wanted to do. It wouldn’t have been mean, hell it probably wouldn’t even have been Uncomfortable, but I cannot see Matt do anything except put his foot down in this moment.

Luckily, all that ends up being not needed because the delay was enough time for Laura to text back and confirm that it was no longer an ‘if’, she wanted to do the action, and Travis IMMEDIATELY went along with her choice. This is also why I don’t really consider this too much to be Travis trying to take away player agency or anything like that. As soon as there was the confirmation he instantly and without hesitation had Jester do what Laura said. The only reason he even hesitated in the first place is because he was still unsure of what she wanted to do.

Huh, something I missed on the first watch, why does Matt have the mouther try to bite Jester? I think he just forgot that it wasn’t it’s turn, unless it’s got a reaction which allows it to make an attack whenever a creature comes within range? I’m usually not nitpicky about Matt’s DMing, I’m surprised that I’ve got a few things poking at me this time.

(Sam having written dumb things about Laura or said by ‘Laura’ on his flask, only to update it to super nice things once Jester saves Nott. Sadly critrolestats only has one image, but it has “Sam is a genius” “I eat farts” “Laura Buttley” and “I heart thick ass tentacles”. Rewinding a bit to count bridge sections, there was also mustace and beard, “ass without a trace” and I THINK “dicks are dumb”, “Travis you motherfucker”. Sadly, youtube comments don’t have them listed, and Flando’s comments were more general. LOL never mind. Coming back here from the second half of the episode and it’s all gag stuff again. Drawing of a penis, the traveler wuz here, other stuff I can’t make out.)

“Thankfully, Nott and Jester didn’t spend enough time in the chasm’s grasp to experience its blinding spittle, which does exactly what it sounds like. Had anyone dropped to zero hit points by being bitten by the chasm, they would have dissolved into the chasm and become another set of eyes and whispering mouths amongst it.” HOLY FUCK CRITROLESTATS. I did not know that, and I feel like I didn’t need to know that. Holy shit we could have gotten a permadeath! I mean, unlikely considering that it didn’t do too much damage and the party had a billion ways of getting out of there (dimension door, misty step, thunder step, polymorph anyone into something that flies, etc. etc.) but still! COOOL AF.

Once again, giving full credit to Matt for the design of this encounter. He has Jester and Nott end up one segment of bridge down at the end of the bridge, so the encounter is almost finished. But! The players were technically in the ‘center’ of the bridge, and I just went back to review. It took five bridge segments for the players to reach the first ‘center’ of the bridge, and then the one that they are on right now is the sixth section. By all accounts, there should be five more sections of bridge that they have to travel along. But, in terms of interesting encounter, five more sections with a banished roper and just continued stealth rolls AFTER the badass moment of Jester jumping down and dimension dooring? Then it can just become tedious, with more of a desire to just finish up the section and move ON, rather than actual tenseness from the encounter. So Matt, by having such a flexible design, allows the encounter to end significantly earlier which feels good both for viewer and for player.

Oh hey the whip! Don’t they give that to Fjord when he loses his powers?

AH! I’d forgotten about this speak with dead moment so figured it wasn’t important (why do I do that, I’ve clearly forgotten very awesome moments and things) and it’s when they first get the name of the Laughing Hand! Very specifically also mentioned to be The Undying too, nice foreshadowing there. Once again, Sam being way more in tune than he likes to portray outside of the game, immediately recognizing the relationship to the King.

Caduceus/Taliesin asked very good questions here (and Matt is generous with allowing a redo for a question that didn’t quite work), but a tiny part of me wishes that he’d used the last question about asking about Nott’s flask. Granted, asking how to survive the mirror chamber and being told ‘don’t continue’ is AWESOME AS FUCK and incredibly atmospheric, but imagine the laughs!

Interesting that they do find footprints which I am assuming to be Obann, because I thought Obann essentially ended up tricking them into clearing out the tombs for him. Hmmm, I guess not. Wiki doesn’t specify it at all. Maybe the party mentions it as a concern that they had and I took it for fact? Or I’m mixing up facts from a different section, or possible different campaign entirely XD

Thought I was gonna finish this today in a shockingly fast two day rewatch, but with an hour left my focus is shot. Let’s see if I can finish it tomorrow and have a three day turn around!

LOL nope instead I had a week from hell with basically no sleep so now my sleep schedule is all fucked up. AND I started getting pain in one of my teeth yesterday, so I probably have a cavity. T.T But at least I’ll finish this today, so still technically only three days of watching? Just….with a week break inbetween XD

I wonder why Fjord was able to touch the mirror and only see a glimpse of movement, whereas Yasha touched the mirror and was immediately pulled through? I mean, in game reason. I’m pretty sure the Doylist explanation was that Matt was building tension (and very successfully!). Perhaps the creatures were waiting to see what happened?

This map is truly amazing. Once again, it’s technically a ‘simple’ map, just walls at weird angles and then mirrors, but because of that simplicity it makes it distracting and jarring with all the reflections. Definite proof that a good encounter doesn’t need a fantastic map – with this one so simple and the other one literally just chunks of a bridge at a time.

While the concept of this encounter is very fun, especially with the additional puzzle aspect, I don’t find it as engaging as crossing the bridge. The creatures make look like the other PCs, but there’s no mechanical benefit to the deception, which would have been fun. I think my ranking would be bridge, lighting chamber, zombies, reflections, spiders.

Ah! I forgot about the music trick to get through the door! Very very clever! I wonder if Matt would have still had that as a requirement if they’d never heard the music through the statues. I’m assuming not, and he would have a different method of getting through.

Always a fan of the little after-conversations before the streaming wraps. Especially when Travis tries to weasel information out of Matt. (Oddly, I find in C3 that Matt is more willing to share information after a session.)

#cr c2 rewatch #critical role #the mighty nein

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moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom · 2 years

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I posted 11,636 times in 2022

671 posts created (6%)

10,965 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@one-happy-silent-geek-girl

@void-of-erebos

@its-tea-time-darling

@alexsrandomramblings

@d3epfriedangels

I tagged 8,244 of my posts in 2022

Only 29% of my posts had no tags

#everydoors - 737 posts

#rex - 566 posts

#yes - 562 posts

#ahsoka - 512 posts

#anakin - 492 posts

#asks - 492 posts

#obi-wan - 489 posts

#cody - 326 posts

#fives - 314 posts

#echo - 314 posts

Longest Tag: 90 characters

#🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

My Top Posts in 2022:

time for Thoughts™️

I will always rant about every member of the disaster lineage but I just got very very especially sad about Dooku and Qui-Gon.

how did I not realise how late he left the Order??? I always thought it was idk, some time earlier than the Phantom Menace but this is just. they really went for the peak angst potential didn’t they

we now know what happened to Yaddle, but at what cost…

As always, fuck Sheev. look what he did. he took a bunch of perfectly good light-siders and fucked them up is what he did.

SNIPS AND SKYGUY ARE BACK Y’ALL IM SOBBING I MISSED THEM SO MUCH

I feel like Anakin really does Not know how to Handle Child at the time of that first training montage. he does his best to be a good teacher and train her the best he can but I definitely got scary chills watching him say “again” so many times in a progressively darker tone

I’m fine I’m just crying over how all that training, no matter Anakin’s downfalls, saved Ahsoka’s life in the end

Rex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my first reaction to Rex mentioning Jesse was basically just “oh hey it’s my dude!!!” and then I realised that Anakin and Jesse both trained Ahsoka in ways that she then used to survive their attempts of trying to kill her and now I’m not okay

that handful of Obi-Wan scenes was a nice bonus

Caleb getting all excited about Ahsoka doing the droid training exercise he’s so precious-

The funeral.

no because the fact that Ahsoka would have been chased down and possibly killed by the Empire if they found out she was still alive but she went to Padmé’s funeral anyway to pay her respects because Padmé was so important to her-

“She was my friend” feelings. so many feelings. i cried here.

Rex sticking with Ahsoka until after the funeral makes me have a lot of emotions and a lot of thoughts; iirc we don’t actually know how long they were together after the Tribunal crash before they split ways

SO LUCASFILM IF YOU COULD JUST NOT TEAR MY HEART OUT FOR ONE KRIFFING SECOND THAT WOULD BE GREAT

*insert that one textpost that was like [me every second Bail Organa was on screen] ‘that’s Bail Organa’*

anyone else feel a little iffy about the whole “we have a duty thing” he was saying to Ahsoka? maybe I just wasn’t paying enough attention, but it felt a little to me like he meant she had to/was obligated to join the Rebellion. it doesn’t seem very in sync with Bail in general, but if someone has a different interpretation that makes more sense, please share with me.

the only other thing is I’m just confused and a little irritated about the section with the farmers and the Inquisitor. like, when in the timeline exactly did that whole encounter take place? and if they wanted to show a storyline like that, why didn’t they just animate some key moments from the Ahsoka novel? I feel like it sort of gives it more weight in a way to have Ahsoka’s big return to the good fight and the Rebellion set two years after the end of the war, and given how similar the setups are, I have to say I would have much rather had at least some scenes from the book in animation than a whole new separate thing that kind of replaces it.

me when the girl’s brother went to tattle to the Empire: every town’s got a Timm 😔

ngl I really thought she might be Kaeden at first but it wasn’t too bad I suppose.

especially since I will never, and I mean never, get sick of watching Ahsoka kick Inquisitor ass

all I want to do is wrap all my faves up in a blanket and hug them very tight yk

in conclusion: I am just screaming. so hard right now.

128 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

Fennec: We’re gonna feed you to our rancor mwahahahahaha >)

assassin dude: plsss nooooo D:

Fennec: PFFT we don’t have a rancor lmao it died

That one rat: hi :3

247 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

Cad Bane: You’re getting soft in your old age

Boba:

Boba: You are literally. Twenty plus years older than me.

1,094 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Fans will be like ‘this is my comfort show’ and it’s the most depressing show ever

1,293 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Peli: there’s someone here to see you

Din: oh it’s my son

Din: WAIT IT’S MY SON

5,210 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #heck yeah #Tumblr year in review

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casspurrjoybell-32 · 8 months

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All It Took Was One Look - Chapter 18

*Warning Adult Content*

Aiden

"So are you done with... you know what?" Liam whispered in ear as we were sitting on the gym bleachers.

It was PE the last period of the day and his class had to share our teacher because theirs was on maternity leave.

So Liam was going to be in my class for the rest of the semester.

I didn't know how I felt about it, he just made me nervous.

But I knew after yesterday he was going to be a cool ally, what with the whole Aiden against the school thing.

"I... I don't know," I answered truthfully.

He knew my problem and he made it clear he wasn't going to stop trying to help so why lie to him.

"You're doing well though, you've been clean since Saturday I can see it in your eyes. There much clearer and you're not yelling at people to 'suck your balls' and whatnot," he joked and I nodded, letting out an embarrassing laugh.

"I did that?" I asked him and he nodded.

"Yes and it would have been funny under different circumstance. I just want you healthy Aiden. And taking drugs is going to hurt you one day and I can't have that," he told me a sincere look in his eyes.

I looked over at him surprised that he cared so much.

"Promise me you won't do it anymore," he begged with his beautiful eyes.

I didn't answer him instead I turned to look around the gym watching everyone talking or playing basketball.

The teacher had given us a free day so I decided to relax.

Liam bent back on his elbow watching me, I could feel his eyes on my back.

"Liam," some guy called him from the court.

"Come join us man."

Liam hesitated for a second before getting up and headed over.

I watched them pass him the ball and he took off... dodging the others with inhuman reflexes and speed.

I watched in awe as he swept the floor with them all.

He high fived some tall black guy. I laughed when our PE teacher joined in cracking jokes with the guys.

The game progressed and things were getting heated and I mean in both ways.

A groan slipped from my lips as I saw Liam snatch his shirt off along with a couple others but they were nothing compared to him.

He was like a god out there... a muscular Adonis with sweaty delectable abs and biceps and I was drooling over his prominent V-line just before it disappeared into his shorts.

This is torture. UGH.

"Well you look like you're really in this game," I jumped from the voice.

Snapping my head to the side I looked up to find a very pretty girl with dyed red hair standing over me.

Her genuine looking smile lowered my guard a bit.

"Yeah," I muttered.

She laughed and sat next to me and held out her hand.

"I'm Robin and your Aiden right?" I nodded slowly and shook her hand.

"That's me."

She flashed me a pair of impressive pearly whites.

"I'm kind of new here," she confessed. "But I have heard all about you."

"That's... that's great," I stuttered and she laughed again... she sure was happy.

"Don't worry I love that you're gay," she stated.

My eyes widened at her.

"Really?" I asked and she nodded enthusiastically.

"Hell yeah, it so nice to have a fellow gay around here," she said shocking the hell out of me.

"Y-you're....?"

"Loud and proud," her big brown eyes gazing at me excitedly.

"Girls all day," she said slapping my shoulder.

I smiled at her feeling a weight being lifted off my shoulders.

'I'm not alone.'

"Actually my brothers gay as well, the parental have no idea how I ended up being a lesbian and my brother gay. But hey it's whatever," she ranted all bubbly and happy, you couldn't not smile and be a little happy when your around her.

"Who's your brother?" I asked.

"Caleb," she said pointing her finger over to a group of scene kids and skater boys talking.

"He's the one that looks like the emo in the group... yep that's my twin."

I nodded as I looked at the guy with dark brown hair that hung in his face, he wore semi black skinny jeans with a gray band t-shirt.

He was pretty cute.

"Alright everyone get changed," the coach yelled wiping the sweat from his face with his shirt.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow," Robin said skipping over towards her brother.

"Yeah," I said but I doubt she could hear me.

Making my way down the bleachers I headed towards the lockers when a damp arm draped over my shoulder.

"You should have joined us Aiden," Liam said smiling down at me and I shook my head.

"So you guy could have wiped the floor with me? No thank you."

I get enough of that at home.

"Oh... come on, we would have been easy on you," he teased of breath as he tightening his arm around my neck pulling me into his chest playfully.

Little did he know I was going to burst from every seam just being in this position with him?

Chuckling I pushed away from him reluctantly as we walked into the locker rooms.

Heading over to my locker I changed my shorts since I never took my shirt off.

I wouldn't want to, not with Liam there to witness all the fading bruises.

Brent hadn't touched me since I first got these and I was hoping it stayed that way.

I just kept my distance from him like he was the plague.

My lip was healing as well... I got hell from Jay about it along with my mom.

Liam left his shirt off and stuffed everything in his bag for football practice. He was just going to head straight there.

"So are you going to be there for my first game?" he asked out of the blue. I looked up at him in surprise.

"Y-you want me to be there?" I stuttered.

He nodded stuffing the last of his stuff in his bag before giving me all his attention.

His amazing hazel eyes trapped me hostage, I felt like a dear caught in head lights. His handsome face softened.

"I mean if you don't want to go it cool, I'm not forcing you or anything," he said sounding a little dejected.

I shook out of my daze and quickly answered him back.

"No... I mean, I-I'll... I'll be there," I said failing at hiding my excitement.

"Cool," he said throwing his bag over his shoulder.

"You coming," he gestured for the door.

I looked around a noticed everyone was gone now. Slowly I nodded and followed him out.

"So who was that girl you were talking to? I've seen her around before, I hear she's kind of weird," he said as we walked to my locker.

"Her named Robin, she is a little weird but I like weird," I told him looking up to see him turned towards me and a wide smile on his face. I frowned a little embarrassed.

"What?"

He shook his head.

"Nothing," he said quietly that smile still on his face.

"Okay..."

Once at my locker I noticed a new batch of offensive words. I just sigh and put in my combination.

"Who the fuck keeps doing this," Liam hissed as he glared at my locker and I just shrugged.

"It doesn't matter," I tell him like it was no big deal even though it hurt to see.

He growled, like an actually growl and I stare up at him in shock.

"Are you okay?" I asked watching him with a frown.

"This is bullshit..." he snarled his eyes piercing into mine intensely.

There was that feeling again, I could feel his anger like a heat wave and out of instinct I stepped closer to him placing my hand on his stomach.

The tingles came rushing into my fingers as they touched his bare abs.

I forgot he wasn't wearing a shirt but I never took them off, my gaze never moved from his.

"Liam," I said softly and he visibly started to calm.

He sighed deeply as he closed his eyes and we stayed like that for a while and because the halls were empty I felt comfortable doing it.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked him.

Opening his eyes I noticed they were yellow, I gasped as he quickly pulled me into his arms and hugged me.

I was a little stunned before I hugged him back.

A crazy current of electricity started throughout my entire body.

I loved it... it felt so good that I let out a little moan.

His arm tightened as I felt his breath on my neck sending me spiraling into frenzy.

My heart was beating at an erratic pace. I felt his lips meet the base of my neck and I shivered in pleasure.

What was he doing to me?

Without thinking I gave him access by tilting my head to the side and held him closer.

"Liam," I whimpered his name as my breathing became irregular.

All too soon he moved away from me he looked startled and breathing hard.

Backing up a little more, he picked his bag up.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly before rushed off down the hall.

I watched him practically run away from me and my body was demanding that I stop him but couldn't bring myself to do it.

I probably freaked him out with my stupid moans and whimpers.

Turning back to my locker I grabbed my stuff.

'Way to go, Aiden' I though slamming my locker shut.

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katrinasis · 2 years

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anyway the final stage of belos’ character is probably going to be the complete collapse of every lie he’s ever convinced himself of.

we saw beginnings of this in clouds on the horizon, where they make a point of showing belos’ nervousness and how badly he reacts to the thought that the human realm has changed, and then again towards the beginning of king’s tide when luz straight up tells him that no one hunts witches anymore and his drip is trash. it’s pretty clear that, to belos, the idea that the human realm has at all deviated from his idolized fantasy version of it is a Bad and Unacceptable thought that he’d rather just ignore. he doesn’t want to think anything’s changed and he refuses to think he’s changed, either. the man is literally a goo monster playing pretend with human skin and he still believes that he is a regular human. he gets violent towards luz and the collector when they tell him he’s changed because he cannot bring himself to consider the perfectly reasonable idea that they’re right.

and then we have the scenes in which gus pulls up his worst memories and belos calls hunter “caleb”, which are like a minute total combined and also i think the most important scenes Of All Time for belos’ character.

his rationalizations for the murder of his own brother are so flimsy that literally just thinking about the event itself is enough to make him flip his shit. he knows what he did was unforgiveable and he knows there was no real reason for it and he knows the grimwalkers are not caleb, will never be caleb, he’s been playing god with his brother’s body for centuries when he KNOWS that caleb is gone and he will never get him back. and then, right off the heels of belos finally being forced to confront what he’s done, we see him calling hunter “caleb”. he looks at hunter, the grimwalker that looks the most like caleb, the one now holding caleb’s palisman, and suddenly he doesn’t see hunter anymore. he’s watching caleb “betray” him again, and he doesn’t want to see because it’s forcing him to think about why caleb did it. he was never corrupted or lost or in need of a merciful death, he just wanted something different than philip and that was unacceptable.

and finally: the collector! belos thought he could use the collector and then throw them away when they weren’t useful to him anymore, just like he has for literally every single person he came across for the past 400 years. the man has been acting essentially consequence-free ever since he murdered caleb, and then the collector is freed and immediately shows him that the manipulation is not going to work anymore. for once in his life he is facing the consequences of his actions, both in the past and in the now.

what happens now that belos is a small pile of slime on a completely different earth? what happens now that he can’t deny that luz was right, that he isn’t even human anymore? that his home is a place unrecognizable to him? that the childish goals he’s built his life around are considered a joke? is he going to double down or is he finally going to have to realize that he is a joke? that everything he’s done was for literally nothing? that caleb died for nothing? that maybe, just maybe, he could have led a happy life had he not been so obsessed with his own warped sense of righteousness and revenge?

the walls in belos’ mind are going down and brother, they are going to go down hard.

tl;dr: the show is making a point of showing that belos’ worst fears and memories are actively being brought to the surface in ways he can’t rationalize. he finally has to face what he did to his brother and the fact that he’s in a form that can’t even pretend to be human anymore. this man is going to try desperately to hold on to anything he can before the walls come crumbling down and we get the third-act breakdown we’ve been waiting for.

#the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #emperor belos #philip wittebane #caleb wittebane #hunter toh #the collector #toh analysis #yes i HAVE been watching the caleb scene over and over again. how could you tell #anyway im pretty sure belos' obvious anime inspiration is going to be envy from fma #so if i had to guess his death will probably be some final soul-crushing realization followed by him ending his own life #long post

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thebrightsessions · 4 years

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Entertainment Spotlight: Briggon Snow

Briggon Snow is a Los Angeles-based actor, writer and creator, originally from South Portland, Maine. He is known for voicing Caleb Michaels in The Bright Sessions and The College Tapes, and roles in The Big Loop (Podcast), Seal Team (CBS), Game Shakers (Nickelodeon) and Masters of Sex (Showtime).

Can you share any fun facts about the making of The Bright Sessions and/or The College Tapes that fans would be surprised to find out?

Oh boy. I was just wracking my brain on this and struggling™. “Should I mention the obvious: That we did this remotely? Talk about those challenges?” And then moments ago my husband stepped out onto our balcony where I was staring at my laptop, read this question, and made a very cheeky suggestion. So here we go:

Everyone loves kissing in audio, right? *crickets* No? Only some of you? Well, I know it’s a hot-button topic, but when it comes to squishy romance feelings I’m here for it, I’ll admit. And well, we recorded this in a pandemic, so...no kissing allowed. And how did we get around that? Well, as one of our illustrious and poor defenseless audio designers got to e̶x̶p̶e̶r̶i̶e̶n̶c̶e̶ suffer through...I sent over “roll-the-tape” recordings of me pulling my husband into my home recording booth to - essentially - makeout for all of your enjoyment/cringes. Now...who’s kissing in The College Tapes? You’ll have to wait and hear (again sorry) because...well...reasons...

If you could have a conversation with Caleb, what would you want to talk about?

I’d love to go on trail with him or go camping and just talk about...feelings. I know the feelings/emotions thing is a constant for him so this is a little on the nose - but in playing Caleb and now writing for him too - I was challenged to submerge myself in my heart and mind and body and meditate with the emotions that pass me by every day. Lauren’s writing gave me a roadmap to identify and place things within myself outside of recording (a gift I’ll never be able to repay). And in these last five years I’ve found myself endlessly fascinated with human emotionality and our awareness or lack thereof and how we move throughout life in relationship with the things we feel. I’d love to look Caleb in the eyes and have us be unabashedly open with each other; the good, the bad, the everything.

Do you have a memory from college or young adulthood that you think would make a good College Tapes scene or episode?

It’s funny. I pulled on so many memories and feelings from my time at college. There’s one particular story involving greek life and my freshman roommate that I absolutely stole when writing my episodes. But I have one memory that’s so...nothing really...but so powerful in my life that I’d like to share...

My best friend in college ended up showing me Avatar: The Last Airbender, and when we’d watch it in his dorm, we would naturally smoosh up on his bed and cuddle under a blanket. And for me, a gay kid - just cuddling up with my straight best friend because we loved each other - and it not being weird or joked about when our friends were around - meant - like - everything to me.

Again, not a big crazy college memory. But let’s hear it for the straight boys out there dismantling toxic masculinity one soft action at a time!

If you could be Atypical in real life, would you want to be? If yes, what powers do you think that you would have?

I want to be an Atypical! I’d love to be able to communicate with anyone (+ animals) regardless of language. I want to know people. I love meeting people. I think one of the greatest privileges of being an actor is that we’re thrown together with other folks who (if it’s going right) open themselves up to you and participate in a created intimacy to seek understanding. More than anything, I’m curious and want to be influenced by other perspectives in this life - and the idea of being able to connect with and learn from a person in Morocco or even an Orca Whale off the coast of Washington is *heart eyes*.

Do you have any headcanons (something that you believe to be true that isn’t explicitly stated) about Caleb?

I don’t know if I’m going against actual canon here. After 5 years it’s hard to keep track of what’s in what episode in The Bright Sessions universe. But I’ve always imagined Caleb as a closet master chef of sorts. I think he learned to cook out of necessity growing up; odd hours for practices and games and his parents being a little scattered. And I think by college, Caleb is super impressive in the kitchen. The kitchen - like the gym or sport or nature - is one of his churches.

Can you share your favorite piece of The Bright Sessions fan art?

There have been so many incredible pieces of fan art over the years and I’ve loved them all. It’s wild how transformative fandoms can be. You never know what aspect of a character or a story is going to take hold in a person’s imagination, and all of the different headcanons and pieces of art our strange and unusual family has shared over the years continues to be my favorite part of being in the cast of The Bright Sessions.

(Grayson, ghostcribs)

I’ve always adored Grayson’s imagining of Caleb and Adam. Grayson is one of my very favorite artists ever; so much so that I eventually - nervously - reached out, and now he and I have started work on a little project of our own. And I love that. We all get to (and I think have the responsibility to if we can) inspire each other with what we put out into the world. It’s call and answer and it makes for the best stuff.

Thanks for taking the time, Briggon! Catch The College Tapes, only on Luminary.

#entertainment spotlight #briggon snow #the college tapes #the bright sessions

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chaos-burst · 4 years

Text

questions and answers

He had meant to be rude. And it had not worked even a little bit. Eodwulf is sure that anyone else would have been offended. Hell, he’s even sure that the other members of this weird group were absolutely offended on behalf of their friend. But Eodwulf can’t say he has ever met a person like this.

There was no malice, no ill intent, no anger.

When you work with Trent you have to be aware of every little shift in the mood. The slightest twitch of an eyebrow can mean the weather is about to turn foul. Eodwulf knows what to look out for. It had been his intent to rev this weirdo up and it had backfired spectacularly.

Damn.

No meat. No booze. And balls of steel, apparently. Eodwulf had never seen anyone talk to Trent like that. And while Bren‘s—Caleb‘s—words of wanting to kill Trent outright had been more than Eodwulf would ever admit to his mentor, it somehow felt less crazily reckless than to call Trent Ikithon, Archmage of Civil Influence for the Cerberus Assembly and one of the most powerful mages in the Empire, a fucking fool.

To his face. With a smile. In a complete sincere manner.

Eodwulf doesn’t want to replay the words in his head over and over again but his dumb brain has latched onto them and he can’t stop. Only this time it’s not one of Trent’s lessons that forces him to obsessively repeat something until you have internalized it to the point where you can cite it in your sleep.

No.

“Pain doesn’t make people. It’s love that makes people.“

Eodwulf has it on repeat in his head the whole way back to the tower and it is still going when he lies down hours later to sleep.

“What are you“ had not been meant as a serious question when Eodwulf had asked it. But by the time he finally falls asleep he feels like it has become a very vital question indeed, because who or what would dare to speak to Master Trent Ikithon in a way like this with an honest smile on their face.

Because for some reason his thoughts have decided to betray him, Eodwulf’s brain makes his tongue and lips form the words again when they see the Mighty Nein the next time. This time, Astrid and Eodwulf have been invited to dinner—Trent has very specifically not been invited, you could say he was uninvited with quite a few flowery words in a strange accent.

And as soon as Eodwulf sees Caduceus he remembers the weirdly polite scratching of a chair, the wide smile that indicates that this is a person Eodwulf possibly can not force to lose their composure through careful placed rudeness. And his mouth betrays him.

“So. What are you, really?“

Caduceus blinks mildly surprised before his unfamiliar features shift into a warm smile that has Eodwulf feel quite a lot of inappropriate things he didn’t expect to find in a place like this.

“Gardener. Maker of fine tea. A decent cook. Keeper of graves“, Caduceus lists of and he uses his long fingers to count the things that are important to him about himself.

“Very powerful cleric“, Jester chimes in from the right. She has Astrid next to her in a chair and Eodwulf is pretty sure that Jester has started to put flowers in Astrid’s hair. But surely he must be mistaken. Who in the Nine Hells are these crazy people?

“Oh, yeah. Well, that too, I suppose“, Caduceus says, his smile still warm like honeyed wine.

“Huh“, Eodwulf says because he can’t for the life of him think of something else to say. But Caduceus is yet again pulling out a chair for him so Eodwulf straightens his shoulders and sits down next to Caduceus. Across the table from him the angry one throws herself into a chair and stares at him.

There’s no fear there either, but she can be easily angered, something Eodwulf is good at. He gives her a canine smile and she holds up her middle finger.

This group is full of people with an enormous lack of self preservation.

And they are so loud.

Eodwulf almost doesn’t hear it when Caduceus turns to him to ask him a question.

“Huh?“, he says again, like a fool.

“And what are you, was what I wanted to know“, Caduceus says, his lazy grin open and honest. There is no malice in his words. He actually wants to know.

Eodwulf thinks “Murderer, wizard, protégé, spy“ but he doesn’t say any of these things. “Maker of graves“ comes to mind, but it seems like too dark of a joke to make.

“Enthusiastic about both meat and booze“, he says in the end and Caduceus laughs.

“Yeah, as are most of my friends.“

The implication these words bring is probably only in Eodwulf’s mind but it makes him swallow and look away to find Astrid’s eyes. But Astrid now has pink flowers in her hair and a look of absolute confusion on her face as Jester rattles of compliment after compliment about various of Astrid’s features.

Eodwulf can’t help but look at Bre—Caleb. And he sees that there is a soft, barely noticeable smile on his old friend’s face as he watches the scene unfold.

What am I, indeed, he thinks.

Trent’s orders have been clear. Get close to the group called the Mighty Nein to find out what they are working on with Lady Vess DeRogna.

Eodwulf allows himself to think that Caduceus might have been right. Maybe Master Ikithon is indeed a fool.

Because being in the presence of these people is like nothing Eodwulf has ever experienced and it makes him think, wonder, question—

“Here we are again“, Caduceus says after, yet again, Astrid and Eodwulf have been invited for dinner. Eodwulf wonders if this group just wants to make it very easy to spy on them, or if they have an agenda of their own—but it’s hard to believe that there might be any coherent agenda behind anything these people do.

He has watched the buff one called Yasha try and play what looked like a harp made of bone and when the angry one, Beau, told her that she looked hot playing the harp Yasha had torn two of the strings which had led to a whole scene of apologies and various tries to fix the harp.

Jester has drawn dicks on pretty much every surface this magical mansion has and she delights in the fact that Caleb brings the dicks to life in various colors. At some point he made glowing sparkles shoot out of one of the dicks Jester had drawn and Jester had laughed as if this was the best joke she had ever witnessed.

Eodwulf notices Astrid’s eyes on Jester.

Eodwulf also notices that while there seems to be no agenda or efficiency behind anything, they are still being watched.

Beau and Fjord look at them. And Eodwulf is pretty sure Caduceus watches everything as well, but he does it without crossing his arms and glaring so much.

“Looks like it”, he answers. Caduceus offers him tea and Eodwulf’s first instinct is to decline, but then he remembers that “maker of fine tea” had been very high on the list of descriptors so he takes the cup he is offered while somewhere in the background people start screaming something that sounds like “FLUFFERNUTTER”.

Eodwulf tries the tea. He’s not a fan of tea, but this tea is absolutely delicious and he finds himself impressed.

“I believe this one comes from the Hollburns’ graves. Those remains made the tea grow quite fast, it was impressive.”

Eodwulf blinks at his tea and then at Caduceus. For a second his brain wonders if this statement should register as a threat, but it had been delivered with such honest delight and a sense of pride that Eodwulf discards that feeling.

“What?”, he asks. Caduceus points at the tea.

“Oh, well, my family grows tea on those graves we’re keeping. In case you wanted to ask me again what I am. Or—hm, I think I already mentioned that I am a keeper of graves?”

Caduceus trails off and looks thoughtful and Eodwulf stares at him.

“Keeper of Graves. That make you a follower of the Matron?”, he asks.

Caduceus looks at him and smiles.

“Not quite. My family serves Melora. But we are descended from a champion of the Raven Queen.”

Eodwulf can’t help but wonder if this was some kind of weird joke. But his goddess usually isn’t one for joking.

Eodwulf considers for a second, then he pulls out the raven feather pendant from under his cloak.

Caduceus nods. “So”, he says and smiles widely. “What are you?”

Eodwulf snorts.

“For real?”, he says.

Caduceus’ smile widens.

“For real.”

It feels like this has become a sort of game.

“What are you?”

“Moral compass. Middle sibling. Eccentric. Amateur flute player.”

Eodwulf finds that through this question he himself posed the first time, he’s been forced to think more about himself than he feels comfortable with.

“What are you?”

“Decent chess player. Dog person. Sportsman. Only child.”, are the things he says out loud.

“Self-made orphan. Patriot. Volstrucker. Torturer.”, are the things he thinks to himself.

Eodwulf has the impression that Caduceus is somehow aware of the things he doesn’t say.

“So. This is the crew you’re running with now?”, Eodwulf asks Bre—Caleb one night before the Mighty Nein will leave with Vess DeRogna to who-knows-where. Neither Astrid nor Eodwulf did get very far with their planned infiltration work. Eodwulf is not even sure how hard they even tried.

It’s very easy to get swept away by the chaos and the weirdness and the complete lack of fear that the group displays when it comes to him and Astrid. They are dangerous people in a lot of ways.

The Mighty Nein are also dangerous people in a very different way. A way that Eodwulf doesn’t know anything about.

“This is my family, ja.”

He says it, just like that, without looking at Eodwulf.

Family.

The word tastes bitter in Eodwulf’s mouth as he leans back in his chair and crosses his arms.

“Weird people”, he says. Caleb huffs.

“You can say that, yes. But they grow on you very quickly”, he answers quietly and with a small, fond smile that makes something inside Eodwulf ache. For a long time Eodwulf pitied Bren for breaking, for not making it, for failing, for being locked away and discarded. Now he realizes that maybe, in a very macabre sort of way, Bren becoming Caleb through failure was the better end of the bargain.

It feels blasphemous to think that.

“The pink one is especially weird”, Eodwulf finds himself saying and he takes a big swig of whiskey from his flask before handing it to Caleb.

“Ja, I noticed that you seem to have a... uh... particular kind of interest in him. And, if I may add, he in you.”

Eodwulf takes the flask back after Caleb drinks. He contemplates the different sorts of feelings inside his gut as the words sink in. Then he tucks it all away very carefully, just as he learned through many years of being in Trent’s presence.

“Still don’t know what he is”, Eodwulf says. Caleb snorts and shakes his head.

“His people are called Firbolg”, he provides.

“Not sure that’s what I mean. Not anymore, at least.”

It seems dangerous to admit that. Caleb turns his head and looks at Eodwulf with a shimmer in his eyes that Eodwulf can’t read. Many years ago he was able to read Bren like an open book, but Caleb is another book entirely.

“You deserve to have some nice things, you know. You deserve friends. A chance of—hm. A chance of peace. A chance for redemption, if you want it.”

Eodwulf gets up and tugs away his flask.

“Pain doesn’t make people. It’s love that makes people. Pain is inconsequential, it’s love that saves them.”

Eodwulf understands the truth in these words now. Bren was broken, Caleb is being healed. Eodwulf doesn’t think that there’s anything left in him that can be saved. Or should be saved.

“Good luck on your journey tomorrow. Don’t die”, Eodwulf says and he leaves Caleb behind.

What are you, he thinks. A sentimental fool.

Astrid sits next to him on one of the balconies of her house and looks up at the stars above them. The Mighty Nein have been gone for six days and it has been very quiet.

They sit in silence and share a bottle of whiskey, passing it back and forth instead of words. It’s been like this for many many years that they’ve allowed themselves to just be. Today though, Astrid breaks the silence.

“I’m going to be the one who kills him.”

She says it quietly, without remorse, without indicating that this is a scandalous statement. She says it just how other people would say “I’ll go to bed soon.”.

Eodwulf stops breathing for just a moment. Then he inhales the cool night air and turns his head to look at her.

“Could kill you for treason”, he says. She looks at him and cocks her head slightly, the analyzing gaze of a murderous spy meets its equal in silence.

“I’d love to see you try”, she says. Eodwulf grins. It feels reckless.

“Don’t die”, he says, the same thing he’s said to Caleb before. Astrid regards him for a long moment and Eodwulf takes another sip. “Will you help me or try to stop me?”

Eodwulf considers this for a moment. Would he try to stop Astrid should she try to kill Trent? No. Would he help her? He doesn’t know that either.

“Can’t you just wait for Bren to do it for you?”

“I won’t lose to him again.”

Eodwulf snorts.

Always so competitive.

“That’s some fucked up shit, Astrid.”

“Shut up, Arschloch.”

Eodwulf grins before getting up to stretch. He puts his hands on the railing of Astrid’s balcony and wonders what Caleb’s new family is up to.

Making a new family never came to mind before. It sounds like something out of a fairy tale. While he contemplates the question whether he would help Astrid kill Trent Ikithon, a slow, familiar voice pops up in his head.

“Hey. Uh—Jester told me to send you an update. We’re still alive. Hope you’re good. Got a new question for you. What will you become?”

The rustling of Astrid’s clothes as she stands up as well somehow tells him that she received a message in her head as well. She steps beside him and puts her hands on the railing next to his.

“They’re persistent”, she says quietly.

Eodwulf nods and inhales.

He doesn’t know what he will become. He didn’t even know that was a question to be asked. The path is clear. It always was.

Pain doesn’t make people.

“Not going to answer?”, she wants to know.

“Don’t have an answer yet.”

It’s unclear to him whether she means her own question or the message Caduceus just sent him.

He answers the sending spell with a simple “I don’t know.”. It takes a few minutes before another message comes in.

“That’s good. Uncertainty is good. It’s the first step in a better direction. I’m going to kill a dragon now. Wish me luck. Good night.”

“I’ll keep you posted on the answer to that question of yours. I’ll see you tomorrow”, he says and leaves Astrid behind on the balcony. Eodwulf thinks about something he hasn’t thought about in a very long time. A priestess in his Matron’s temple once told him: “Death is the only certainty in life.”.

He thinks that Caduceus would agree.

And Eodwulf hopes that the next time he sees that weird, reckless man, he’ll have an answer for him.

#cadwulf #blumengrove #caduceus clay #critfic #critical role #eodwulf #cr spoilers #fanfiction #caduceus #text #screeching into the void #this got a bit out of hand #but i just wanted to get some stuff out of my system

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hes-writer · 4 years

Text

Confessions: A ‘Favourite’ Extra

Summary: beatrice graduates and dad!harry is not invited

Warnings: angst!

Word Count: 3305 words

A/N: this is part of the ‘Favourite’ universe :D this scene takes place sometime between the first and second part! please read them before reading this.

Part One | Part Two

_____

Graduation.

Through Beatrice’s 18-years of living, she did not think that the celebration of liberation would be so sour. The day started off like any normal day. That is, except, she did not have to deliberately avoid the areas of the house that her dad, Harry, was in. It was strange that she had to feel uncomfortable in her own home.

For this special event, Beatrice had initially bought only three tickets for Ruby, Caleb and her mum, Y/N. Her dad had a packed schedule of promoting his newest album anyway so Beatrice thought that it wouldn’t even matter. She didn’t think he would want to come anyway. If Beatrice knew anything about her father is that he never really cared much about what went on in her life.

Beatrice supposes that it was okay. She had a whole lifetime to get used to it. A full lifestyle living on the edge because she didn’t know when her dad would clap-back with an insult for no reason. However, it didn’t mean that the spike in pain hurt any less. Don’t get her wrong; she was grateful for Y/N being around and involved. But Beatrice sometimes wondered how it would feel like to be wrapped in a fatherly embrace or be guided with wisdom and courage.

She really couldn’t remember the last time Harry did anything that made Beatrice feel like his daughter. Aside from the family photos they took on during the holidays or when celebrating whatever work achievement he managed to snag--that was the only time where Beatrice would feel Harry’s hand resting on her shoulder.

___

“Can I get one?” Ruby asked, tugging on the coloured strings of Beatrice’s cap. Her small body was being held by her older sister while Y/N took photos of the three siblings.

“Caleb, put your phone away please,” Y/N requested, shaking her head at the way the young boy groaned. Nonetheless, he followed the instruction.

"You’re lucky I love you or I would not have shown up,” Caleb grumbled, offering a sweet smile afterwards to suggest that he was joking. The three siblings posed for the camera, Beatrice trying hard not to let Ruby tilt her square cap.

Between a plastered smile, Beatrice replied, “Probably why dad isn’t here,”

Caleb widened his eyes significantly. Though, it seemed conspicuous to Y/N who was busy figuring out how to brighten the screen.

“That’s not true, sissy. He’s just busy,”

Beatrice chuckled, shrugging off the comforting hand of her younger brother, “Always busy but never when one of you have something going on,”

“It’s just a coincidence,”

“Yeah, sure,”

Caleb frowned at her response, focusing her attention on Ruby’s babbles. He almost spilled the surprise that their dad was going to watch Beatrice cross the stage. Caleb knew how his sisters felt about Harry and he hoped that his appearance would help patch things up between them.

Caleb walked over to Y/N, “Are you sure that Dad’s coming?”

Y/N nodded, “Yes, he said he’s looking for parking now,”

Caleb bit his lip nervously, “Do you think she’ll be surprised?”

——

“Graduate with honours, Beatrice Y/LN,”

Applause filled the venue as Beatrice walked up the steep steps of the stage. A shy smile was placed on her lips when she caught sight of the projector screen showcasing her achievements for her senior year.

In the audience, both Harry and Y/N were confused as to why Beatrice used her mother's name to be announced. The cinch in Y/N’s brow smoothed out when the principal continued speaking. Harry, however, couldn’t help the questioning frown.

“Top Chemistry. Top Biology. Overall Best Science Student. Gold Volunteer Badge. Level 4 Music Theory. Beatrice has been excelling both academically and musically while serving the community,”

Beatrice squinted at the bright lights, placing her diploma and speech on the podium. She had never been good at public speaking. However, her announced name gave Beatrice newfound confidence. It’s just her. All her achievements wouldn’t be credited to her father just because he was Harry Styles.

“Hi, uh,” She cleared her throat, “I’m Beatrice Y/LN and I’m very honoured to be standing in front of you today,”

Her speech was short and to the point; thanking her fellow classmates even though there were very few to thank personally. There were a few jokes in between and some nostalgic memories about various school events throughout the year. Beatrice mentioned remarks to her teachers who helped her achieve high grades. Lastly, she thanked her family for supporting her

“I’d like to thank my family. My brother, Caleb. My sister, Ruby and my Mum. You guys have been so wonderful to me and I hope that I made you proud,”

Y/N was tearing up with a hand clasped over her mouth. She could not believe that her oldest daughter was off to university in a few weeks. Beatrice’s work ethic was unmatched and it showed in her getting the recognition that she deserved.

There was a pregnant pause before applause filled the space again. Despite switching her name last minute, everyone in her school knew that Beatrice was a Styles kid. They were probably waiting for her to mention him in her speech. But Beatrice felt no need to mention the man that had done nothing for her. He wasn’t even here.

“Thank you and congratulations, everyone!”

Harry slumped lower in his seat. He could feel Y/N’s worried eyes and Caleb’s observant gaze inspecting his face.

____

Beatrice stood beside her family, watching Harry a few metres away who was currently busy attending to the fans that recognized him. Even with his graying hair, many parents greeted him with a reminiscing statement about how they ‘saw him in concert back in the day’, to which he would chuckle at and proceed to converse for a few minutes until their child--Beatrice’s age--tugged them away.

All that Beatrice wanted to do was to get home and interact with her online friends. She had mentioned that she was graduating today and they were all very proud of her. Beatrice would rather take the peace and quiet of her own room than a bustling party.

“You’re invited,” Emma, a popular girl, stated while handing her a piece of paper with all the details of the party. Beatrice mumbled a hushed ‘thanks’, despite knowing that she wouldn’t even attend it in the first place.

“Are you going, Tris?” Y/N asked, holding Ruby’s hand so the youngest child would not get lost in the crowd.

Beatrice shook her head ‘no’, explaining that there was no point.

“I don’t know anyone there anyway,”

She was kind of a loner, but Beatrice was happier by herself anyways. “Besides, I don’t think dad will agree. It’s way past curfew,”

Y/N nodded in understanding. The curfew set for their eldest child was at nine in the evening. Y/N was sure that Harry would be lenient to let Beatrice go; it was her graduation after all. Sooner or later, Beatrice would be leaving for university.

____

Beatrice should be grateful. She should be happy, yet somehow those emotions were non-existent to her brain right now. She should be smiling, eyes brimming with tears because her dad actually cared to throw a party for her. But all she could feel right now was a pure disappointment and agonizing anger because Beatrice knows that he was trying to make up for years of mistreatment.

At this moment, the rowdiness of the party only proved that Harry really did not know anything about Beatrice. She did not know over half the people here, aside from the few relatives they see during the holidays; her grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. The rest were recognizable from Harry’s industry. Beatrice swore she saw Lizzo sipping a cup of liquor in their kitchen.

Aside from the initial greeting of ‘congratulations’, paired with the large banister taped on the foyer of the house, this party wasn’t much of a celebration based on Beatrice’s milestone in life. If anything, it looked like a regular get together for celebrities and industry people. Frankly, she had no interest in interacting with them. As rude as it may sound, the swirling turmoil of emotions beginning from her stomach made Beatrice push past the packed crowd with a tight-lipped smile in order to get to her room.

She felt like she couldn’t breathe, especially knowing that these people in her house absolutely adored Harry. They saw him as a family man, loved and appreciated by his kids. It wasn’t a complete lie, per se. Beatrice just didn’t have much experience to confirm that he was, in fact, a lovable and caring person.

If she had to put a finger on it, Beatrice was feeling utter disgust. She was disgusted because Harry was the perfect person in their eyes when everything he had shown her was that she was someone that didn’t deserve any of his attention. It felt like this was a celebration of her dad’s façade--he was not actually proud of her. He was just making it seem like he is so he wouldn’t be perceived as the dead-beat dad.

A knock at her door sounded. It was almost as if Beatrice could sense her dad’s presence without turning around to look at who just entered the privacy of her room.

“Tris?” Harry whispered, hesitating on mumbling the nickname. He had never done it willingly before, much less not as bitter as the previous times.

Beatrice swore that she could practically see the venom slithering on his tongue every time he said her name. But maybe that was just her skewed perception.

The chair that she was sitting on creaked as she shifted her weight, leaning her elbows on her desk.

“Why did you even throw a party, dad?”

It was merely a genuine question that held so many underlying meanings. Why now? Why not earlier when there was still hope to fix whatever sort of broken and fucked up relationship they had with each other?

Harry fully stepped into the room, observing the walls decorated with art and artists whom he recognized were his friends. He didn’t realize that she was a fan of Florence Pugh.

He cleared his throat with a fist to his mouth, “I wanted to celebrate your graduation,”

Beatrice internally rolled her eyes, “Did you really? Because you haven’t been there when I needed your help with my homework or assignments or anything. Now, suddenly you want to act like you were a big part of how I achieved my accomplishments?”

It was a sour realization. It was accurate that Harry refused to help her with schoolwork. He swore that he was busy looking over new options for his upcoming projects. Retrospectively, he might have subconsciously spewed out excuses so that he wouldn’t be able to help his dear daughter.

Beatrice sighed, flattening the balls of her palms against the edge of the sleek wood, pushing the rolling wheels of the chair back. She stood up.

“Just admit it. You threw the party because you felt guilty and you think that somehow, everything will magically be okay between us?” Beatrice shot him a questioning look, chest-puffing when Harry’s lack of words confirmed her theory.

Beatrice propped her feet in the middle of her room, twisting her body so that her back was facing away from the closed-door; from him. She breathed heavily through her nose, lungs rising up and down as she gathered her thoughts.

Unbelievable.

Harry stood with his arms by his sides, staring at his daughter with curious compassion. He did not know what to say, nor did he know how to act because he didn’t take the time to get to know her. He didn’t spend time with Beatrice; nurturing, caring, calming or comforting her because he simply couldn't get over the fact that she was once a person that caused calamity in his life.

“Tris,” Her dad spoke, earning a pinch of her facial expression from the familiarity of the nickname. Yet, it was unfamiliar because Harry used it mundanely.

Beatrice cut him off, “I’ll be leaving for university in a few weeks. You can quit pretending like you care. You say this graduation party is for me but I don’t even know most of the people here!”

The volume of her voice reached a threshold that should warn both of them to keep quiet. However, Beatrice knew that with the hustle and bustle of the celebration going on downstairs—no one would hear her honesty except for her and Harry.

Harry blinked twice, mouth dropping slightly agape. Why did he throw this party? He knew his intentions; he was proud of his daughter. He wanted to show her off to everyone he knew about how intelligent and well-rounded Beatrice was.

The girl continued speaking as if reading Harry’s train of thought.

“This is for you,” She spoke bitterly as if her tongue was left with an odd taste in her mouth. “Showing off a ‘trophy’ daughter who graduated with honours but that doesn’t matter, does it? Nothing I ever do will match what you’ve done.”

The accompanying laugh—albeit, sarcastic— left Harry confused.

“What? No, this is for you. I’m proud of you,” Harry quickly disagreed with Beatrice, gesturing his large hands in a wave to emphasize his words.

She turned around with gentle disbelief; her features were hardened yet Beatrice’s eyes gleamed with hope. She wanted so badly to believe her dad, but his lack of attentiveness to her led Beatrice to roll her eyes at him instead.

“Cut the crap, Dad,”

“Language,” Harry added, pursing his lips when Beatrice scoffed.

“I can’t believe this,” Beatrice muttered, she stared at the ground as if picking out the words to say.

As bad as it sounded, she wanted to hurt her dad the way he did to her. Years of being treated like an unwanted child slowly built up inside of her and Beatrice wanted the pain to end.

“You wanted to be everything so bad that you forgot to be my Dad,”

“I am your dad, Tris,” Harry watched as she walked over to her desk. Fingers cascading the glass picture frame which held a still of their family.

“Don’t you think I know that?” Beatrice turned around, throwing the edged frame on her bed in a fit of anger.

Harry’s brows shot up to his forehead, watching his daughter’s eyes well up with tears.

“You are my dad but you’ve never been one to me! Why is that? Huh?” Beatrice pressed, crossing her arms and digging her fingernails on the skin of her bicep.

“I’m sorry that I took those opportunities away from you. You got movie deals, You had an album coming out. Tours, shows, money—you had everything and I ruined it, didn’t I? As you said, it would’ve been better if I wasn’t born,”

Harry was no stranger to not interrupting someone when they spoke. However, he couldn’t let Beatrice believe the words she spoke.

“Don’t say that! That’s not true,” He stuttered over his words, heart-shattering under the weight of Beatrice’s truthfulness. Sure, he had everything, but it didn’t mean that he was satisfied.

“But you thought about it right? You wondered how different it would be if I wasn’t born at the wrong time. Maybe you would’ve loved me more—like you do Caleb and Ruby,” Beatrice smiled sadly.

She was glad that at least her siblings would not have to experience the searing pain of being unappreciated. They did not deserve to be seen through like a ghost.

“Maybe you would’ve paid more attention to me. Maybe you would have cared that I was hurting every time you showed me nothing but disdain,”

Beatrice used her forearm to wipe away the tears beginning to soak her reddened cheeks. She sighed, plopping down at the foot of her bed, watching Harry look at her with an unreadable emotion on his face.

“You know, It’s not my responsibility to ask why,” Beatrice whispered. Though, she wondered what would have happened if she did question her dad why he looked at her as if she was a burden in his life.

Beatrice’s monologue crescendoed as utter pain cracked her voice every now and then. Her figure slouching as she truly experienced what it was like to let go of the turmoiled affliction soaring through her body.

“I’m your child! You’re the one who’s supposed to be looking out for me. You’re the one who’s supposed to show me what love is supposed to feel like. I’ve always wondered how you’d react if I came home with a boyfriend like all the movies and books talk about. But, all you’ve shown and made me feel was my first heartbreak when you’re supposed to be the one nursing me from it,”

At that point, Harry could not remain the eye contact he shared with his daughter, gazing down at the floorboard in shame.

“You were supposed to scare guys off because I’m your eldest daughter. You’re supposed to protect me from everything that could hurt me, even when it’s irrational because that is what Dads do,”

That same bitter laugh that pierced Harry’s ears earlier echoed again.

“But I guess you never really wanted to become one to begin with. Or maybe just not with me.”

Harry took a few steps back. Her words figuratively churned and twisted his gut. He caught his balance on the doorknob that moved feverishly under his weight. Sure, he didn’t want to be her dad at first. And he had many chances to fix a strained relationship, but he never took them. So really, he had no shield at denying the truth. He was simply a father who failed to be the dad to Beatrice.

“I-I do! I want to be--if you'd let me,” He hated the way his voice became weary.

Despite their differences, Beatrice and Harry both mutually hated the way his tone pinched. The way he had to plead and beg for his daughter’s forgiveness when it seemed to be too late. This could have been avoided if Harry took the chance to become the dad that Beatrice deserved to have. The dad that her siblings--Caleb and Ruby--saw and spent time with while Beatrice watched behind, wondering why she was never treated the way they did.

“For years, I wondered what was wrong with me. I listened to the music that you liked. I asked mum what you enjoyed doing because you never talk to me. I wanted you to see me as a daughter instead of this--this invisible speck that you shrug off your shoulder every time I needed you!” Beatrice cried out, hugging herself for comfort.

The worst part was that she could see Harry’s legs buckle in hesitation to come closer to her or not. He shouldn’t even have to think to comfort his daughter, but he did.

“I wanted you to like me as if I even have to do that in the first place! You’re my dad, don’t you get it? Because I didn’t. I spent so much time being the perfect child in hopes of you giving me an ounce of your attention aside from the face you put on when I walked into the room. Why did you have to treat me this way, huh?”

Tears spilled from her forest-green eyes, identical to Harry’s glazed ones. His mouth parted in retaliation. As if he was plopped in quicksand, Harry had no idea how to defend himself.

“I know that you didn’t want me in the first place but--,” Beatrice sniffled, wiping the salty liquid to her damp temples, “I just wished you treated me like I wasn’t a burden to you,”

_____

#harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles writing #harry styles angst #Harry styles fan fic #Harry styles fanfiction

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theoriginalladya · 2 years

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21, 31, and 39 for Caleb?

from this list

*rubs hands together*

21. Do they share any interests or hobbies?

Oh goodness, a tough one!

Actually, yes! They do share some. Start with... PIANO. Caleb learned from Nan when he was young and the rest he picked up along the way. Kaidan is classically trained. They do have a lot of fun with this during the war once Anderson gives Caleb the apartment! lol But after the war, Kaidan gets Caleb a piano the first Christmas they spend together. Whenever he's home, the two of them will play it together again; but mostly Kaidan just likes to listen to Caleb play.

I think Kaidan gets Caleb into reading more just for the pure pleasure of it after the war. Caleb reads, but he never really gets into reading for fun until then. It's not really a conscious decision, just the simple fact he's never really viewed himself as living his life FOR himself - it's always been for others and there's always so much to do. So, during the war, Kaidan starts to introduce him to some fun reads - fantasy, mysteries, history, etc. - and after the war, it's far easier to find him reading something he wants to read. They both end up reading to the kids at night, too, and that helps.

The other thing about Kaidan is he dabbles in sketching and painting. Caleb's seen him with a sketchbook a few times over the years, but Kaidan's never shared anything and Caleb hasn't pushed. On their honeymoon in Greece, Kaidan pulls it out and goes to town drawing and painting watercolors of their trip. He fianlly shares them with Caleb, too. They even spend an afternoon with Kaidan trying to teach Caleb how to draw, but Caleb quickly realizes it isn't something he'll ever be good at, so he just sits and watches while Kaidan sketches out a scene and then paints it, so they share the interest, I guess you could say, but it's limited to Caleb watching, mostly. lol (the man knows his limits!)

31. Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something?

Ahaha. Okay, so...suffice to say, sort of? Kaidan's mother is Irish, so he grew up hearing a number of Irish phrases and expressions, so when he meets Caleb and hears him speaking the language - usually in moments of high emotion or stress - he usually understands it (though Kaidan can't necessarily speak it, or speak it well, himself). After Caleb is lost over Alchera, Kaidan looks into learning more and during those two years, he picks up quite a bit. But it isn't until the very end of the war that Kaidan lets on he knows, and has known all along, what Caleb's been saying. With the kids around later, it's impossible to not pick up some phrases and use them on a daily basis, but Kaidan doesn't ever get to that same level of fluency Caleb has.

I'd say it's a fair bet they'll complete each other's sentences at some point in their lives, but I'm not suer exactly when/how/why that happens just yet.

Not so much a matter of knowing when the other is hiding something, per se, but Caleb is as much an 'in his head' thinker as Kaidan is, so they can recognize in each other if they're starting to retreat into themselves and overthink things. Usually, all it takes is a touch and a word or two, just a reminder they're not alone, that kind of thing, and the other will come out of it.

39. Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first? When did they realize they were in love?

Okay, so this is the question that tells me I HAVE answered these asks before in the past for them because I remember @urdnotflexthejedibard asking me this question for these two.

Now, that said, things have...changes a little since he asked, so here we go.

Who initiated the relationship? - hard to say because they've sort of danced around each other for years before they actually have anything other than a friendship. Technically speaking, I suppose, it's Caleb who initiates it because he's the one who asks Kaidan to stay when he's leaving.

Who kissed who first? - Again, technically Caleb. Caleb and Rosa are on an undercover N-7 mission. Kaidan just happens to be in the right place at the right time (or wrong place at the wrong time, take your pick! lol) and gets recruited into helping. During the mission, to avoid having his cover blown, Caleb kisses Kaidan. "Just business." So... yeah, first kiss. Roughly 2181-ish, give or take a year?

When did they realize they were in love? - Okay, this one hurts but I think I finally have it sorted out. Over Alchera, after getting Joker away in the escape pod and he's thrown free of the ship, Caleb still has a comm connection to Kaidan. Caleb is too focused on trying to stop his O2 from leaking out to realize it, but he falls into speaking Irish over the comms. At one point, he says, "Kaidan, is tú mo rogha" - basically, saying he chooses Kaidan. Kaidan never has a chance to say anything back to him at that point.

Now, it isn't until seeing Kaidan nearly killed on Mars that Caleb actually starts facing up to the fact he has considered Kaidan as far more than just a friend for a very long time. Still, stubborn Irishman is stubborn, and he doesn't say anything directly TO Kaidan about it until post-clone mission (which happens almost immediately (they get Tali first) after the coup attempt).

Thank you so much for asking about these two!!!!! <3

#mtreebeardiles #ladya replies #mshenko #Caleb Shepard #Kaidan Alenko #OTP: Brothers in Arms #mass effect #Ship Asks

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where-theres-smoak-2 · 4 years

Text

10 Little Things I Missed in JATP The First Time Around.

So after binge watching Julie and the Phantoms in one day naturally the first thing I did was go back and watch it all over again and on the rewatches I noticed some things that I didn’t the first time around. Now I’m a few months late to the party so most of these are probably things that most people have already spotted but I figured I’d share them with you anyway just because I love how much detail they put into this show and I need to fangirl about it lol. Obviously there are spoilers.

1) Missing Persons. In episode 1 when the boys are eating the hotdogs, behind luke you can see his missing person poster showing that his parents were looking for him and trying to get him to come home which is honestly just heartbreaking and tears at my soul.

2) Signs, all the Signs. In episode 2 when they go to check on reggie’s parents and find the bike shop the name of the bike shop is ‘Petals on the Beach’. Julie’s mum was in a band named ‘Rose and the Petal Pushers.’ Then in episode 5 when we see Willie at the Hollywood Ghost Club we can see that he has a flower pin on his jacket.

I don’t know for sure if it’s a dahlia or not but it does look like it is to me. Then in episode 6 when Luke goes to see his parents there is a vase of Dahlia’s on the counter behind them. Obviously these flowers link to Julie’s mum and I think it’s interesting that these three things are being linked to Julie’s mum. My theory is that these are connected to each of the boys unfinished business somehow and Rose is leaving hints for the boys. I also think their unfinished business might link back in someway to their parents. We know that they all left their parents on bad terms. Reggie’s parents were having troubles and were close to divorce, Alex’s weren’t accepting of his sexual orientation and Luke ran away leaving on bad terms. We’ve seen a little bit of resolution in Luke’s regard but the other two still haven’t had any. I also don’t think its any one thing that’s their unfinished business but more like a collection of milestones they need to resolve.

3) Fire, Water and Leather Vests. In episode 6 when the band performs finally free Julie is wearing her mum’s vest, its the same one we see Rose wearing in episode 1 when she meets sunset curve.

Since then either rose or julie has added doodles to it. One of the doodles looks like flames, fire is a symbol of rebirth or resurrection. Another of the doodles looks like waves/ water. Water is a symbol of both life and freedom which makes it kind of perfect for a song called ‘finally free’.

There is more fire symbolism in Stand Tall with the special effects behind the band showing fire like imagery. Throughout the performance it shows glowing embers and fireworks.

Which is also similar to the firery effect made by the lights in the background of their Finally Free performance.

These along with other symbols of rebirth and resurrection is obviously connected to how the boys were brought back to ‘life’ again by Julie but also how they brought Julie back to life too.

4) More Doodles. Again sticking with episode 6 when we see Julie drawing on her microphone she is drawing a birthday cake which is meant for Luke. We know that she only seems to draw things that are important to her on the microphone the other doodles include a rose and a dahlia obviously symbolic of her mother, the words double trouble which links her to Flynn, the words I’ve got the music and music notes, this is her connection to music. Then the final thing she draws on it is the birthday cake which shows how Luke is important to her. I also think its important that she does this right after learning more about him and seeing a deeper side to him, I do think this is when her feelings for him really deepened.

5) Braided Together. This is one that I think alot of people noticed but the braids in Julie’s hair in both I got the Music and Stand Tall are the colours of the three boys, red, blue and pink. Again showing how intertwined all of their souls are with each other and with music. I think it very much represents how the boys brought music back into her life.

6) The Power of Purple. Both Caleb and Julie have the rare power of being able to make ghosts visible to lifers and most likely have other mystical powers too if that last scene with the band glowing and being able to be touched by Julie is any indication. Both of them wear the colour purple.

The colour purple symbolises magic, mystery and spirituality. I do feel like Julie and Caleb are the opposite sides of the same coin. They both posess similar powers but they are using them for very different reasons. I think they very much represent the living and the dead. Julie kind of brings people back to life whereas Caleb draws people to the otherside, the afterlife.

7) Greek Mythology. Speaking of the afterlife, in episode 5 when at the Hollywood Ghost Club, Caleb encourages the boys to eat some food, on first watch this just came across as a kinda funny scene but when I rewatched it I realised something. I actually think this is a nod at the myth of Persephone and the pomegranate seeds. In greek mythology if you ate or drank anything in the underworld then you would be trapped there forever. Obviously we know not long after eating Caleb brands the boys with his club stamp forcing them to make the decision of joining his band for eternity or being destroyed by the jolts. He decieves them just as Hades decieves Persephone.

8) Full Circle. Both the band’s first performance (Bright) and last (stand tall) starts with Julie on stage alone unknowing that the boys are going to show up. In the first performance she doesn’t know yet that they can be visible when on stage with her and in Stand tall she thinks they have been destroyed by the jolts already. It brings her journey full circle.

9) Maternal Ties. The first time we see Luke perform and the last he has the same scarf tied around his arm.

He also has this same scarf in his back pocket during finally free both the performance and the episode as a whole. My theory is that the scarf belonged to his mother. During Unsaid Emily when you see him packing and arguing with his mother the scarf is in his back pocket. You can see it in his back pocket again during unsaid emily when he is singing as a ghost if that makes sense.

It tends to show up, from what I can tell, either when Luke is having a big moment like the night that was suppose to be sunset curve’s big break at the Orpheum or Julie and the Phantoms performance at the Orpheum. Or when it has something to do with his mother like in episodes Finally Free and Unsaid Emily. I think he carries it as a good luck charm.

10) Butterflies and Roses. In episode 7 during the edge of great performance the butterflies on julie’s top are the colours of the band. Red for Reggie, blue for Luke, pink for Alex and purple for Julie. Butterflies are a symbol of transformation and again another symbol of rebirth and resurrection. Also during the final performance Reggie has butterflies and flowers on his vest. Luke has roses on his guitar strap (also skulls but lets ignore that for now) and Alex has a rose in his suit jacket.

Again the butterflies are symbolising the rebirth of the group but also could be to do with that transformation the boys go through at the end where they can now be touched. (I have soo many questions about that scene.) Also we have the roses which again shows the link to Rose and how she brought Julie and the boys together.

Like I said I’m sure most of these are really obvious but I get excited about little details like these and the producers really did do an amazing job at weaving them throughout the show. I’m sure there are even more that I’ve missed so if you know of anymore please feel free to enlighten me. Still keeping my fingercrossed for a season 2.

Edit: I found more fun little details and yes I am obsessed, part 2 can be read here if anyone is interested.

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms spoilers #jatp speculation

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fromiftowhen · 3 years

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The Rookie: 3x09 Amber Thoughts/Spoilers

I have… a LOT of thoughts about this episode. Unsurprisingly, the majority of them are Chenford related, but I had a LOT of West and Lopez feels too, so. Here we go. I started to try to get my feelings out, but it just became me copying quotes that I either laughed or had other feelings about, so…

“Grey’s busy, and Smitty’s getting a back tattoo.”

“That’s --”

“Don’t ask.

-- When I say I laughed out loud. Jackson and Smitty’s relationship is one of the best callbacks this show does, and every mention of that ridiculous man is hilarious.

“But it’s super important she doesn’t get shot today.”

“No promises. You ride with me, you ride the rollercoaster.”

-- Nyla Harper is my favorite person. She was excellent in this episode, from the very beginning to the sweet moment at the end (that ending scene did NOT need to be about Nolan, this should have been solely focused on Lucy and Jackson and what they accomplished today, but I can’t say I’m surprised. But Harper made it better.)

Tim tossing the list out the window immediately.

“You know, littering is a $250 fine.”

“Worth it.”

Lucy pulling a backup list right out. They know each other SO well.

-- HILARIOUS. Although I’ll admit my guard was up the moment she pulled that list out and used the word “trickery.” It worked out differently than I thought it would, but… well. We’ll get to that.

“I knew my TO would be important to my career. But I don’t know. I didn’t realize how important you’d be to my life.”

-- I should have been more prepared for the Lopez and West feelings today. Their relationship probably started out the rockiest of all the TO/rookie pairings, and maybe rightfully so… but it’s become the least complicated, the closest to friendship the fastest, and their bond is just really something. Jackson was right - a LOT has happened in their 13 months together (yes, show, I remember exactly how long it’s been -- do you?) and they’ve both grown and changed in such wonderful ways. Angela looked sentimental the whole episode (while still being her badass, hilarious self) and West looked SO relaxed, it was such a lovely bookend to their first days together.

“I wish someone taught me how to be in this one.”

“Oh, so we are in a relationship.”

-- All the references to a relationship were good, if not entirely baity. But Tim’s delivery of that line was amazing and made me laugh out loud. He sounds so long-suffering and very much like an exasperated husband, and it really pinpointed one of the ways they interact that just WORKS so well. It just feels natural, and Eric Winter’s delivery was great.

“Tell me the truth -- Am I gonna poop myself?”

-- This entire conversation was so randomly hilarious (but added levity they all clearly needed then). Harper and Lopez are hilarious together and I truly wish the show gave us more of that.

“Don’t worry -- I will personally stand watch over your kid until you leave the hospital.”

-- Jackson West. I love you.

“I really hope our last shift together doesn’t end with that.”

“Yeah, me too.”

-- EMOTIONS.

Tim distracting her with her list. The man KNOWS her. And him acknowledging that she’s been to hell and back. Again, I say -- EMOTIONS. It was such a good callback to him knowing she needs to focus on work and order and process to remain calm in some situations.

“One look from you could send me into a tailspin.” And one day, it will again -- in an entirely different way, I am SURE. The way they both knew she was referring to Plain Clothes Day was great.

“I dunno. Smitty is surprisingly maternal.”

“That is the most horrifying idea I’ve ever heard, and I want it to be a reality show so bad.”

“Right? I would watch the hell out of that.”

-- Lowkey this was the most hilarious exchange of the night. I would also watch the hell out of that reality show. All these little moments made me miss Lopez and West together so much. Their scene at the end of the episode was lovely. All the times he thanked her. Please still let them interact often. The show NEEDS it.

“We did it.”

“No. You did it.” THE MOST TIM BRADFORD THING I’VE EVER HEARD.

“Office Chen impressed me with every decision she made today. I will miss riding with her.”

The callback to the evaluation in Plain Clothes Day. My heart skipped a beat, honestly. The way that Tim was looking at her in this scene while she read the note was… it was a lot, and apparently too much for me to process currently because that’s the most intelligible thing I’ve got to say about it.

“You don’t let anyone ever tell you you can’t do something. Not even me.”

-- WHILE HE HELD THE HANDSHAKE. This one line tells you all you need to know about Tim Bradford and his RELATIONSHIP with Lucy Chen, honestly. He knows she’s “as tough as they come” and has “been to hell and back” and he knows, even if it scares him, even if it gives him flashbacks to Isabel, that she can do it.

Her gift to him was such a nice callback. For a show that doesn’t seem to track or care about its actual timeline, they’ve done a wonderful job with callbacks especially this season, and especially Tim and Lucy related ones. All the Caleb/Rosalind stuff. All Isabel mentions. Multiple mentions of Plain Clothes Day and their first day riding together, etc.

Every. Single. Time. He has called her Lucy this season, I have had to compose myself, none more than in this episode. I do kind of wish they’d waited until that last moment to have him call her Lucy (to her face, we all know I don’t think the phone call scene from season one, although one of their very best moments, counts)... it might have felt slightly more impactful (although the moment in the season premiere was great in its own way.)

Honestly, it was a little weird for me watching the show tackle their final moments as TO/rookie because I’ve written so many versions of that myself? (And look, I’m not gonna lie, their version gave me feelings, but I liked mine better). I wish that truly lovely garage scene hadn’t come on the heels of that “confession” scene, but it did help make up for it.

You might have noticed that I specifically skipped over that “confession” scene in the shop. As soon as he started talking about lying and UC work, I said “ugh” and then immediately wrote the scene in my head -- down to her laugh, it was that predictable once you got the gist. And I’m going to be honest -- if I had written it, I would have deleted it.

I KNEW going in -- and I think most people will agree -- that this was not going to be a true confession. That we weren’t going to get a Chenford love confession tonight (and please, can we discuss that ‘canon’ and ‘endgame’ are not interchangeable for just a sec.) But the way it happened just felt SUPER ship baity, and using it in the promo even more so. I just felt super pandered to in a ridiculous way that didn’t leave me with the most pleasant feelings about the writers… the garage scene at the end definitely helped, but overall the confession scene left a sour taste.

The thing is -- the things she said? How he saved her? How the reason he’s protective of her is that he might have feelings too? Those are all valid things! And things that, at least in fic, I believe. But watching that scene, me, someone who can read something shippy in the TINIEST glance? I didn’t FEEL those things. I wasn’t nodding along like “yep, yep, that’s all true” -- there wasn’t a moment during that scene where they looked at each other and I thought “yes, this is hitting too close to home for one of them.” Maybe that’s just me. I don’t know.

And I don’t know if that’s because I was too in my feelings about being badly pandered to, or if it just wasn’t there, or what. But… just overall I’m left with a feeling that it was just an entirely unnecessary scene that probably didn’t serve the ship well, just judging by some reactions I’ve seen.

Those feelings though? The ones I wanted to feel in that confession scene? I FELT THOSE, every single one of them, in the parking garage scene at the end.

Every look was perfect. Every pause, the handshake (a hug would have truly saved the confession mess, let's be honest, but can't be picky), the way he looked at her as she read, THAT is the writers do SO perfectly right for Tim and Lucy (and I know the majority of that credit goes to Eric and Melissa, because the moments that are the most impactful are the looks that just can't be entirely scripted.)

Do I still ship them with every fiber of my being? Yes, and nothing the writers do or don’t do will change that. Will I still (eventually again) write a million words about them falling in love how I think they should? Yes. Do I need the show to stick to moments like in the parking garage -- real, honest moments between them? YES. That is what the show gets right about their relationship. If they can just stick to those moments -- and somehow continue them and make them believable even if they’re no longer riding together -- I’ll be happy.

Am I worried about their interactions now that they’re no longer riding together? Yes. Their chemistry is honestly the best thing on this show. Giving less screen time to Lopez and West together has been rough -- not only on the relationships aspect that so much drives the show but on the timing/pacing as well -- and I worry that their best characters/best ship not sharing as much screen time will not help either of these issues.

Maybe they’ll surprise me. I hope -- I think -- they will.

(Random, but things I still need from this season: A Rachel mention? Don't get me wrong, if they want to forget her, I'm cool... but it feels like (even a fake love) confession should have been the right time to be like "I know this is awkward, you're dating my friend..." Come on, show. I don't care about her, but you tried HARD to sell us on her last season, so at least give her a two second mention to update us on what is actually going on. The Lopez-Evers wedding. (Do I think it'll be THE Chenford event most people are hoping for? No. But I'm ready to be proven wrong.) A continuation on Harper's love life. UPDATE ME on my girl.)

#the rookie #chenford #the rookie spoilers #tim bradford #lucy chen #the rookie abc #tucy

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tarisilmarwen · 3 years

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“Crawlspace”

Mace Windu Appreciation Week Day 5 - Padawan

@mace-windu-appreciationweek

(I’m not late, there’s still a couple hours left in the day.

Sort of drawing off some of my “Cool Grandpa Mace Patiently Tolerates Feral Pawadan Bridger” headcanons, because I thought it would be a really sweet scene to actually write out.

Enjoy!)

---

Mace carefully removed the screws from the grate and, with gentle hands, threaded his fingers through the slats and slowly removed the air vent cover.

It pried off with a soft squeak, the noise barely stirring the tight cluster of discordant misery he could feel through the Force above him. The Jedi Master leaned back down off his toes and set the grate aside on a counter.

The Temple kitchen was immaculately clean and, aside from him, currently devoid of occupant. But he had known exactly where to look as soon as his comm went off, Caleb's frantic voice on the other end.

Mace placed a sturdy chair underneath the open vent and climbed up on it, poking his head up into the hole.

He quickly spotted the form of his wayward great-grandpadawan, a darker shadow against the dim gray of the metal corridor. The boy was huddled in the corner, squished in the crevasse between one vent and another, his robe curled tightly and self-protectively around his knees and legs, and if he'd heard the Grandmaster's intrusion, he didn't acknowledge it, staring morosely ahead at the wall.

"Ezra," Mace called gently, projecting warmth through the Force to reassure the boy. "What are you doing in here?" he asked.

Stubbornly, the fourteen-year-old scowled and turned his head, looking away angrily.

Ah. Sulking, Mace concluded to himself, faintly amused.

"Your master is very worried about you," he prodded the boy, nudging him gently through the Force with concern. "As I'm sure you can already sense."

If possible, the boy hitched up tighter, pressing his chin into his knees. "I don't wanna talk to him right now," he said, voice muffling into his sleeves.

Pieces of the current conflict between his grandpadawan and great-grandpadawan were becoming clearer. Caleb hadn't shared many details when he'd called, too busy freaking out like a fretful mother song sparrow, and Mace had spent more time reminding the man to calm and center himself than gathering details about what had caused their latest disagreement. But Caleb had mentioned setting down some kind of ultimatum about an animal Ezra had snuck into the Temple and had been secretly feeding in his room. Ezra hadn't, apparently, taken it well.

Mace probed through the Force, but the boy's shields had been latched down tight; he refused to let Mace in, no matter how much reassurance and patience the Jedi projected at him.

With a sigh, Mace realized he would need more direct measures to get through to the padawan. Reaching up, bracing his arms and elbows against the sides of the vent, he hauled his torso up through the opening.

He grunted with effort and the awkward angle he had to bend his limbs, curling around the lip of the vent and bringing his knees up underneath him.

It was a tight fit, even with the wider-than-average industrial size of the vents. The Jedi Master grimaced as he scraped awkwardly forward, shoulders and back sliding along the edges of the vent, crawling towards Ezra.

I'm too old for this, he grumbled to himself inside his head, even as he pried his feet out from under him in order to maneuver more easily.

Ezra glanced up in slight surprise as Mace settled down in the vent next to him, bringing his own knees up, mimicking the padawan's curled pose.

There was nothing but soft understanding in his great-grandmaster's face as he asked, "Is this about the animal you brought home from Zardossa Stix?"

Ezra slumped and Mace knew that he'd hit upon exactly the issue. "There was this feral tooka. She was all alone and had no one to take care of her. Caleb says I can't keep her," he pouted.

Mace raised an eyebrow, slightly impressed. Out of all the creatures Ezra had managed to smuggle into the Temple through his sleeves and pockets, a tooka was by far the largest and most obtrusive. He'd have to ask later how the boy had managed it. Away from his master's earshot, of course.

"He says I shouldn't take animals out of their natural environments and that it could cause untold damage on the local ecosystem," Ezra was explaining bitterly, a pinch between the brows of his eyes.

Mace nodded. Folding his arms over his legs like Ezra, he settled himself very casually beside the padawan. "I agree with him, actually," he confessed. At Ezra's stung look of betrayal he clarified, "Though not for the reasons he said."

That seemed to confuse him. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Ezra..." Mace began gently, "...how often are you and Caleb away on missions these days?" he asked.

Ezra looked a bit sheepish. "Pretty often," he answered. "Maybe two, three times a month?"

"And in that time, while you are away," Mace continued, "who would care for the creature?" he asked. "Who would feed it, groom it, give it exercise and entertainment? Have you made arrangements with someone to watch it while you're gone?"

Ezra shifted a bit uncomfortably, guilt now lining the contours of his expression. "Well... no," he confessed.

"Don't you think that tooka would be much happier with someone who could be there to feed her, every day?" Mace asked, voice soft. "Someone who is actually able to be responsible for her, and care for her, that she wouldn't be missing for weeks on end?"

The piercing question seemed to stab right through the boy, who ducked his head a bit shamefully, acceptance in his Force signature. Ezra looked down at his knees, biting his lip for a long moment before...

"Yeah... you're right," he admitted. He hid his face in his sleeves again. "'m sorry," he mumbled into the fabric. "I should have thought of that before I brought her home."

Mace nodded sagely, uncurling a bit and settling a hand around Ezra's shoulders. "Your compassion and empathy are strong, and well-befitting of a Jedi," he told the boy, "but they must always be tempered with practicality, young padawan."

Ezra raised his head, his face serene, and nodded respectfully, giving a soft smile. "Yes Master Windu."

The older Jedi quirked a smile back at him. "Now," he said, tone lighter, "we should both get down from here and find Caleb."

Ezra nodded again, in agreement, and Mace took that as his cue to shift around and begin moving back down the vent.

Or, trying to at least.

Mace gave a discontent grunt as the back of his head hit the top of the vent and he found himself momentarily wedged in by the tight corridor.

"Master?" Ezra called worriedly from behind him. "Are you... stuck?"

"No," he grit through his teeth. He twisted and angled his shoulders until he could feel himself sliding freely again. "It's just been too many years since I was small enough to fit in here."

He extricated himself from the vent, dropping down lightly to the chair before getting down and lightly catching Ezra as he made his own short jump.

"You have got to stop hiding in the vents, Ezra," Mace told him, shaking his head long-sufferingly.

The boy grinned cheekily. "Hey, they're the perfect hiding place. High up, out of the way, and no one comes looking for me."

Mace let him consider his own words for a moment.

"Well," Ezra corrected, scuffing his boot into the floor a little, "almost no one."

A bit more stern-faced now, Mace nudged the padawan by his shoulder, towards the double doors on the far side.

"I suggest you start looking for a home for that tooka," he said, tone just vaguely warning.

"Yes sir!" Ezra scrambled to acknowledge, tripping over his hems as he rushed out the door, Mace giving a fond headshake behind him as he disappeared down the hall.

#star wars #star wars rebels #mace windu #ezra bridger #mace windu appreciation week #shatterpoint lineage #fanfiction #prompt fics

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