#yes i have depression™ why do you ask

[snickerzanddoodlez]

SNICKERDOODLEZ TALKS ABOUT BEING A CHRISTIAN, AND “BRO WHAT HAPPENED?? JESUS WAS JESUS AND YALL ARE SO MUCH LESS CHILL THAN HIM. CALM DOWN”

So uhhhh fun fact!! I’m a Christian!! Who hates how so many Christians act nowadays!!

First off: Can we normalize like…asking questions?? Without being seen as disrespectful? Like there’s a difference between “UGH WHYYYY” and “why?” but like….questioning commands we’re given and questioning belief systems.

Like why are we trying to stigmatize questioning authority?? No, normalize questioning authority

As well as this, I feel like it’s a big stereotype that religious people hate when you question their religion, and like- in a disrespect way? Yeah. Fair- but as a Christian like….no!!! Question your belief system!! Question what you’re taught! I’ve had the pleasure of being surrounded by lovely people who are more than eager to answer questions and admit when they don’t know something! Heck, so many times they go research it themselves so that they can come back to me like “HEY that was a good question here’s what I found!!”- like- THEY ENCOURAGE ASKING QUESTIONS

MY BIBLE TEACHERS ARE ALWAYS LIKE “YES THANK YOU QUESTIONS ARE GOOD.” Half of our Bible classes are debates. It’s awesome. My current Bible teacher- first of all, a sarcastic king. We love him. He’s an icon- HE LIKE- TRIES TO DISPROVE EVERYTHING WE PUT FORWARD SO WE QUESTION THINGS.

DO THAT!!! Questioning my faith has only ever made it stronger!

And also just like- generally respect people? Like, yeah, some people are going to have SPICY opinions…but like…I don’t care what your political leaning or religious views are or whether you like pineapple on pizza!!! Respect people!! Respect their opinions!! (AS LONG AS THIS OPINION IS NOT HURTING ANYONE…like, I’m sorry, but we do not condone p3d0phillia in this Good Christian Minecraft Server™)

Like, so many Christians are like “OMG!!! WHY R U WEARING THAT!! UR GOING TO HELL >:C” when like- boy no that’s not what the Bible says at ALL where the frick did you get that from??? Yunno Paul?? Yunno everyone else in the Bible??? Calm down, I know my ankles are sexy but that’s no reason to yell

JESUS SPECIFICALLY SOUGHT OUT PEOPLE THAT SOCIETY HATED, BECAUSE HE LOVES EVERYONE??? BRO “TREAT YOUR NEIGHBOR THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED”- I COULD BE WRONG BUT ISNT THAT FROM THE BIBLE?? BRO WHAT ARE YALL DOING smh where are you WWJD bracelets 😔 ALSO HOW DID WE GET TO THE POINT WHERE RACISM IS ASSOCIATED WITH CHRISTIANITY. LIKE BROS WHAT DID YOU DO. WHAT. JESUS LEAVES FOR TEN MINUTES AND NOW WE RACIST??? BROSKIS

Anyways, uh- ask questions! Normalize that! Do your own research! Also like- stop being so judgy, Christians. Jesus was like a chill guy, I think we forget that?? He was super sarcastic sometimes, he answered people’s questions, he was like the most humble guy in history- so Christians, even God is more chill than you. Broskis. My mans.

Can we chill? Let’s chill.

👍

Question authority love your neighbor respect others byeeeeeeeeeee

-sincerely, a fantasy-loving neuro-divergent recovering-from-clinical-depression Christian :]

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

heblooooo 💖 gimme 1 and 8 woah for the ask game pleeeease

hi dream!! sorry for late response, i fell asleep sdklfjlsdjkf

cw for some racism mentions because i talked about my struggles with being abc growing up

send me some asks (✿◡‿◡)

1. what are 3 things you'd say shaped you into who you are?

hmmm, guess it's time to drop some kat lore LMAO tldr; my struggles with my mental health, fanfiction, and being a third-culture kid ➼ i struggled with my mental health a LOT throughout adolescence and then esp when i headed off to college. bullshit happened that i don't wanna trauma dump about, but i sought refuge through finding communities that also struggled with chronic mental health conditions. started volunteering with them and kinda realized that this is the field i wanna go into! so it provides me with a lot of motivation that i was really struggling to find during that time, which kinda pulled me out of a depressive slump (which is also why i'm worried that i'm not motivated for school/work right now because i'm terrified of falling back into That Place™)

➼ 100% fanfiction and participating in fandoms. i've done it since i was like 9, and officially began writing/rp-ing when i was 12 (coincidentally when the mental health issues started LMAO). to this day (obvs), it's my comfort thing. even when irl is hard, i can at least seek some refuge in the fictional world. ➼ prob being a third culture kid? i always struggled as a kid with feeling like i'm not "chinese enough" to fit into asian communities, but also didn't fit into "american" communities because i'm not white lmao. so like in adolescence, i tried to embrace asian stereotypes to fit in. that didn't go well. in young adulthood, i tried to vehemently deny any part of my heritage and insist that i was too "white-washed" in an attempt to fit in through that. that didn't go well either. now i'm able to embrace both! like the fact that yes i am abc, i (and other third culture kids) have experiences that are different from people that grew up in china and are also different from americans that have been here for generations that do not have any sort of obvious non-american/european heritage.

8. any reacquiring dreams?

i'm dumb and it took a minute to figure out what this was asking ksdjflksdf i'm assuming it's asking if there's something i wanna do that i'd like to do again but missed the opportunity the first time?? probably undergrad tbh. like if i never got involved with Certain People™, then things would have been so much better. i never really got to enjoy the romanticized college experience that everyone seems to talk about and i do miss it. or rather, i'd love to have those years of freedom + no real responsibility that my friends commonly talk about. i probably still would've realized that i'm not a partier regardless, but being out late and just generally having a good time and being able to let loose on the weekends would have been something i would have liked to experience.

[emphasisonthehomo]

Hey, I know you asked for asks about trans Danny (and I love your universe so much, don't get me wrong), but I was wondering have you ever considered trans Steve? He'd have had the rare opportunity to 'start over' when he's send away from HI, maybe he took the chance to transition? On the other hand, trans folks were banned from the military back then and we all know how the Navy made Steve the man he is. What path d'you think he could have taken if he was trans? Or would/could he have cheated his way into the Navy anyway? I'm curious but I know this is not your playground so feel free to ignore. Thx.

Oh darling, anything to do with transing a character’s gender is my playground, thank you so much for this question.

TW: for general discussion of dysphoria, this gets pretty heavy emotionally. And also personal, lmao.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about trans!Steve, and what I think a transgender narrative for him would look like. And this is any flavor of trans tbh, be that telling the story of Stephanie McGarrett, Steven McGarrett, Stef McGarrett, etc.  

For all intents and purposes, Steve was raised by the navy. It’s a very intrinsic part of his character. For me it’s up there w/ Danny being from New Jersey. You can’t not make Danny a Jersey boy, just like you can’t not make Steve a SEAL. I’ve spoken a little bit about this being why I find it difficult to put Steve into different careers here, and I think it applies to this as well.

And you’re right re: being trans in the US military. There’s a long and complicated history of it either being banned or restricted, and it technically only became ‘legal’ in 2021. Even if I wrote a trans!Steve as a modern au like trans!Danno is, he would be unable to be out of the closet and be in the Navy. I don't think he'd be able to cheat his way in either, that's a pretty big To Do.

I do think he’d still have joined the navy, even if he was trans. I think he’d just have been in the closet about it. And it’s for this reason that imho trans!Steve would be one of those people who doesn’t come out and transition until they’re in their 40s or something. It would be the story of DEADNAME McGarrett going to Annapolis, becoming a SEAL, being the Navy’s Finest, Creating Five-0 and then much later, deciding to come out. Like post season 10 timeline coming out, I think.

Because Steve keeps a lot of his feelings crammed up inside his head and heart, and he stews over stuff, and he’s not emotionally open. He just isn’t. The Military Fucked Steve Up. John McGarrett, whether he meant to or not, Fucked Steve Up. All of the other shit's that's happened, has Fucked Steve Up. Steve opens up more over the progression of the show, especially w/ Danny, but he’s still an emotionally constipated nutcase in many ways.

Is this a story I’d ever write? No. There are a few reasons for that, and the main ones stem from my own Gender Experience™ and shit. It’s the same reason why Trans!Danno takes place when Danny’s in his 30s and has pretty much already transitioned socially/medically/etc. The story of Danny’s coming out and transition is glossed over, because if I delve into the depression and dysphoria aspect too deeply, I’m gonna start drinking too much again. Being closeted sucks, dysphoria sucks, the internalized self-loathing and shame sucks, and it is euheuheuheuheuheuh DEEPLY triggering for me.

Trans!Danno takes place after most, if not all of that, for Danny. Danny’s got the surgeries he wanted, he’s on T, he looks in the mirror and likes what he sees, he’s doing GREAT. Does he still have issues and insecurities? Well yes, because he’s human. But I am uninterested in writing about the emotionally darker and more upsetting aspects of trying to come out and transition, because I do this for fun and I don’t wanna bum myself out.

The story of Steve/Stephanie/Stef McGarrett, coming out and transitioning at the age of like 45/50 would be deeply sad in many ways. It’d be steeped in internalized transphobia, self-loathing, dysphoria, etc. Especially when you take into consideration Steve’s character and how he Deals with things emotionally. It’d also be a story of joy, of self-actualization, and all those other good things.

Are those stories meaningful and important? Absolutely. Would I personally write it? No. Because the journey to get to that joy would trigger the shit out of me. Is that everyone’s gender experience? Also no, but it’s mine and that’s the lens I’m approaching stuff from.

Excellent question! Thank you so much.

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hi! If you're still doing the ask pairing thingy, here's my submission! This is kind of a lot of stuff, so a quick apology for the Sheer Volume of Said Stuff, and let's get into it!

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

Channeling the Idiotic Nerd Energy here, but hear me out:

Mathy video essays are my lifeblood. What can I say, rat brain craves sustenance. These are two of my favorites.

This is an hour-long essay on the continuity of splines, and Holy Shit. It tickles the few braincells I have left in the most wonderful ways... (Cool stuff!!)

https://youtu.be/jvPPXbo87ds

This one's a little shorter, but it explores the basis and applications of a different number system than the reals, known as "p-adic numbers." (Also cool stuff!!) Scratches the brain cell SO GOOD.

https://youtu.be/3gyHKCDq1YA

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

И ты пытаешься снова дать очень дельный совет мне/Но я бы твоему рту предложил лучше скотч.

(Trans. You're trying again to give me such wise advice, but I'd offer that your mouth is better suited for scotch.)

The above lyrics are from 19 by ssshhhiiittt! (Fantastic song, though a little depressing). My russian is limited, but I Love this Song. This lyric, along with the rest of the verse, stands out to me because it captures the feeling of needing to change in some way, but nobody is giving that advice that you need; the advice that is pertinent.

Re: the Bois

As for the Bois™, I was never able to vibe with Asher or David (at least, not in a romantic sense.) Nothing against them, just not that into them. Platonically, I would forcibly befriend Lasko for nothing but "nefarious" reasons (DnD and hyperfixation talk).

Re: Eepy Talky Subjects

I get eepy and talk about either fountain pens or pretty dice. They bring so much joy to the rat brain. I could talk about fountain pen inks and bodies and makes and models until the universe dies, probably don't quote me on that though.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

I could probably recite most of Fantasy High or The Unsleeping City (both season 1) off memory. They're both part of Dimension 20, a live-play DnD show hosted on Dropout, and just, *chef's kiss*. Brennan Lee Mulligan (the GM) is a goddamned national treasure.

Other stuffs

Other than this, I'm just. A Guy. I'm studying to be a math teacher and I'm a type 5 on the Enneagram. I can tend to be a nervous wreck, and I also have Extreme Cool Guy Syndrome (my doctor says it's called ADHD.) So, ye! Have fun deciphering this trainwreck of an ask!!

Oh, we abso-fucking-lutely stan a couple in STEM. The nervous math teacher and the soft-spoken technician- you and Anton would be a great pair.

Type Five’s are characterized as inquisitive, innovative, and intellectual; it can be so fun to pair Fives with together because you’ll learn so much from each other and it’ll be flirting! Maybe even do the flirting in Russian, because that definitely was a factor in my complex, matchmaking algorithm.

Anton seems like the type who would love to listen and absorb, to pass the minutes hearing about the hyperfixation of the moment. Your students, math, dice sets- I don’t believe this man’s ever played a single session of a TTRPG in his life, but he’d try just because of the way your face lights up when you talk about it.

Song:

So, please, you must have faith in me/ There's no place, I'd rather be than home with you/ Where all is safe and warm/ But now I need to fight this storm

I’ve obviously got to plug my favorite Russian-singing boy. What can I say? Rybak is a dreamboat, and 5 to 7 can work really well for Anton missing you while he’s sequestered away at ETS. (Ignore the sad bit. Don’t listen to the third verse, or do! Maybe you’re an angst with a happy ending kind of babe.)

Runner-Ups:

Gavin, I like for you because I think he would be immensely charmed by the ADHD, nerd energy. Like with Lasko, there’d be so many teaching double entendres. Guy, I also like because he strikes me as a TTRPG kind of guy. He’d love actual play podcasts and series, and his chaotic energy would be great for improv if he actually played.

Note: oh my love you don’t need to tell me who Brennan Lee Mulligan is I worship and serve at the altar of Adventuring Academy 💌

Want a match-up of your own? Read this post, and tell me about yourself! 💌

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

hello ! i was wondering if you could provide your unfiltered thoughts about the whole “paul doesn’t really need you/only makes any effort when he needs something from you/was not a good friend to the other 3 because he was emotional repressed” disk horse that’s been going on these past few days? not that necessarily agree or disagree with either side but as always i feel at a certain point people start to really strew away from the original discussion and bring their personal experiences into it. which yes is definitely part of diskhorse but then you end up having ppl talking over one another and missing the point entirely because now their trying to defend their own experience or dislike/like of a person…of course i come to you for your nuanced takes. cheers !

p.s. idk if it’s just me, but i used to think it was john who ppl had the most polarizing feelings about on tumblr, but honestly there seems to be something about paul that gets everybody from both sides so worked up about lol.

Ah geez. (not @ you anon, just at the fact I saw the disk horse and was like Ok <3 at some of it)

Okay unfiltered thoughts so like, disclaimer, maybe I'm wrong about some of this.

I think people are kind of into deifying these people to a weird degree where Paul not socializing in specific ways is read as inherently cold of him, when the reality is that the commitment John asked of him was… Big and on Very Specific Terms. Like, maybe pause for a second and imagine your bestie was like "you should live within a 5 mile radius of me actually", like don't get me wrong I totally get why John wanted that; he was afraid of losing Paul + he couldn't deal with being mobbed the way Paul could + he was Depressed™ and often didn't have the energy to leave the house, sometimes even get out of bed. I understand wanting your loved ones nearby but that doesn't mean it's a reasonable demand. Same goes for things like dropping acid. It's a mind-altering drug, it's not a game?

I think it's relatively undisputable that Paul did not always treat George fairly but I don't think it has all that much to do with him being too closed-off and a lot more to do with them having quite different perspectives on the world + Paul not being able to recognize George's merit as an artist in his own right. There is that anecdote where George was angry about Paul not taking George's hand during a trip but I'm sorry like either a) George was angry about something else and just gave a bad example or b) he literally had no reason to react that way about Paul being terrified because of a fucking drug-based hallucination. Like. (lol thinking about the line from Lavender Haze "And you don't read into my melancholia" maybe this has nothing to do with you George. He IS TRIPPING ???)

I also don't understand why Ringo was brought into the discussion because I've never heard Ringo complain about Paul being too cold towards him; granted, Ringo has been relatively conflict-avoidant his whole life, from what I can tell, but it's a bit Hm to make assumptions about his reasons for having a relatively short fallout with Paul when he didn't really give any. (Like, people don't read nearly as much into GEORGE and Ringo falling out a few years down the line)

Also it's weird to me talking about "needing" because in the end… That's the only reason anyone does anything with someone. John "needed" Paul to be more open with him, didn't he? In the end relationships are a give and take not simply coexisting.

Is Paul a closed-off individual? Absolutely, but it really isn't to the degree he's made out to be (in the sense where it borders on like, sociopathic), I think it's more that he happened to be surrounded by people who weren't and he's perhaps kind of an anomaly in showbiz because of that. There's also this reverse survivorship bias where people who fell out with Paul are far more likely to talk shit about him than people who remained on good terms with him for years are to praise him publicly. There's also this thing were people seem to forget John basically dropped like 90% of his friends post-75 (though somehow him doing this to Paul is considered an exception – also, like Paul, [coincidentally?!?!?!?!] this happened when he settled down with his kid [LOL coming back with my nuclear family take I will never actually formulate in full ig]).

I think that's all I've got for now. I can elaborate on some of it if you want though.

[post-lds]

Intro

(Read before you say anything stupid in asks especially)

I am entering my late 20s. i grew up mormon in utah. my parents were raised mormon by parents raised mormon, and most of my “heritage” goes back further than that, steeped in mormonism. i am the third child of ten, my mother also had nine siblings, and my dad has 5. I threw myself into the so-called “religion”, dedicated so much time and energy to my callings in the “church”, and spent hours on hours praying and reading mormon “scripture”. It has now been years since i attended any lds ceremony or ritual in good faith, but it sticks with you.

Do NOT come in here and tell me my faith was insufficient. do NOT come here and tell me i didn’t try hard enough. do NOT tell me i listened too readily to the whisperings of the devil, that i was persuaded too easily to the whims and temptations of the world. do NOT tell me i must have just wanted to sin

I will say you will never know how many nights i cried myself to sleep in prayer. you will never know how many talks and testimonies i bore with every shred of truth i could wholeheartedly swear. you will never know how many times i scoured the scriptures for answers to my questions, how studiously i took notes in class, sacrament, seminary, general conference, the lessons i strove to inscribe on my soul from testimonies and FHE, from girls’ camp and youth conference and fire sides and every other spiritual interaction i ever had. the guilt ate away at me for not feeling as guilty as i should, for even thinking that i could like girls, for doubting, for not “having enough faith”, for tainting my family’s immortal salvation, for decimating my own chance at the celestial kingdom. i wrote “worlds beyond number” on my arm for weeks in the hopes that the reminder would strengthen my resolve in my faith, but instead left me devastated that i would end up in the telestial kingdom if i was lucky, but more likely outer darkness for my deep seeded sinful ways. the root of my depression in high school was my faith crisis, and although yes i was unmedicated, i wasn’t in therapy, or otherwise addressing my mental health, the part that kept my depression going strong was the fear that i was doing everything All Wrong, because I didn't etch the gospel into every aspect of my life, every moment of every day. And that must have been why I felt so hopeless. Perpetual despair.

I began to truly Doubt™ right about a decade ago now, back when i moved from a charter school to a public school my sophomore year of highschool. i was introduced to a whole world of people who weren’t largely mormon, and many of them were intrinsically good without the “gospel” in their lives. i made more and more friends who weren’t mormon and they made me feel more welcomed than the ppl in my stake that went to the same school. I realized that mormon didn’t equivalate good, that the most entitled, self righteous, holier than thou pricks in school were mormon (rectangles and squares here). the things that were supposed to drench me in guilt - swearing, mentioning sex, exploring sexuality/gender, reading less-that-wholesome books, trying caffeine - they never scarred me the way i was always told they would. i tried every trick in the book and them some to see what argument reason would remind me of the One And Only Whole And Complete Truth. nothing took. the guilt and insecurities dragged me deeper into my pathetic self-loathing pity party. if i wasn’t happy, i must be sinning. right? so what was i doing so wrong that didn’t bring instant waves of guilt and shame that was keeping me so unhappy? why were my prayers and scripture huntings answered with silence? was i that unholy? that unworthy? so despised by capital g God Himself that i was unworthy of even a hint for why i was this way? there was no quiet comfort, no gentle reassurance, no uplifting encouragement that i just had to Move Along. i have never felt so violently lonely and alone as i did then. it left me vehemently aimless, directionless, void of any modicum of hope, it left me wide open for my abuser to swoop in and give me Purpose, building off the basis that the ends would always justify the means. also an exmo, he turned my need for approval into a tool of his own making, used my desperation to be loved against me, manipulated my idea of working hard for the benefit for my family in his favor. mormonism left me naïve and vulnerable and in need of direction, and he gave that to me, and i fell for it because i didn’t know better. 

i was told from the earliest ages of life that my divine calling was to be a Mother Of Zion (there is so much wrong with that phrasing, and so many more racist and appropriative ideals that mormons have coopted as their own over the years, but that’s a different post). when i read Pictures Of Hollis Woods in middle school, i realized that adoption wasn’t just an option in general, it could be an option for me, a first option, too. yet i still struggle to shake the idea that my body isn’t a temple for me, it is a public temple for lease, a resource to share, that childbearing is less a privilege, but more a duty that is intrinsically tied to the fate of my immortal soul. i personally do not need to bear a biological child to raise. it is not a personal requirement for a fulfilling life. but it always sits in the back of my mind, that i should be so grateful for the Blessing of a likely very fertile uterus, that i should make use of it and Share My Bounty with both my spouse (who should be a cis man and rm) and the world. i know logically that it’s because that’s the most surefire way to introduce new tithe paying members into the world, but i still, still, STILL have this burning anxiety that it is Greedy of me to deprive a soul the use of my womb.

do not tell me i did not struggle

read A Marvelous Work And A Wonder, read The Miracle Of Forgiveness, read the CES Letter, read works by ex members, and if your faith is truly that strong, if the doctrine of the church is truly whole and pure, if the prophets and other priesthood leaders are truly so divinely inspired by God and the Holy Ghost, such criticisms won’t shake your belief. if god is the same yesterday, today, and forever, why do church leaders need so many revisionary revelations? if j smith was given the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, why are you not following his edicts today? if they aren’t so virtuous as to be relevant and applicable to today’s life, then your god is fallible, yes? if you can read those works (to start) and then honestly look me in the face, look anyone in the face and say with full confidence, hand to god, that you believe and support everything the lds faith stands for, then we can have an honest conversation. but at the very least, learn to analyze what you know to reiterate these "facts" in your own words, rather than regurgitate the same phrases parroted by thousands of members, as if quantity will give these ideas credence.

[queenoftherandomword]

For the fanfiction ficlet prompt request, Sam/Bucky OR Sam/Steve with "Are those red lace panties?"

"It was laundry day. Quit laughing..."

Ask and ye shall receive!

For @downwarddnaspiral

Author’s note: Knoughty Underthangs is a made up underwear brand I came up with, and I might use in future fics. XD. Thanks for the prompt @downwarddnaspiral ! I made it more flirty than smutty because I had to entertain my parents who came in while I was describing the undies XD.

It started out as a gag gift, one of those “ha ha ha… you’re hilarious,” teasing between two friends who may not be best friends with a history.

Before things had advanced.

It was Bucky’s birthday when Sam slid the smaller package onto his lap. Sam’s real gift had already been opened, and Bucky was brought into a cheery mood from the celebration, the cake and ice cream long since devoured, the seasonal rain tapping a homely harmony on the roof of the Wilson’s residence.

It was just them, Sarah stepped out for a call, and the boys, after being worn out of a day of fun with their favorite uncles, had already gone to bed.

The perfect time for Sam to give Bucky his gag gift.

“For me?” Bucky asked, lifting the small box and giving it a theatrical shake before opening it, “Why I don’t know what to say…”

Sam smirked, and Bucky suddenly knew something was up, he wasn’t wisecracking, which meant he didn’t want to give away the surprise.

It said a lot about the amount of trust the two men had already built up that Bucky’s mind didn’t jump to “BOMB!” in the package and instead it was “oh no, is this some ugly winter soldier merch?”

It wasn’t a bomb.

And it wasn’t any merchandise celebrating the worst time of his life (seriously why was there a winter soldier teddy bear sold to toddlers?!).

It was both better and worse.

“What the fuck is this shit?!” Bucky hissed lifting up the box under the wrapper and he suddenly understood Sam’s uncharacteristic silence as he had his phone up, recording Bucky’s face journey as he displayed Knoughty Underthangs ™ Falcon Red Winged Panties.

It could have been worse, Knoughty Underthangs had a ton of Avengers themed undergarments, from a ton of bras and panties inspired by the Black Widow and Scarlet Witch, to Iron man short shorts, and a Steve Rogers inspired “America’s Ass” panties with a star shaped ass window in the back. The company was behind the times, a little as they were trying to negotiate with Sam for an updated Captain America lingerie line, and there was a Winter Soldier themed underwear line that was mostly straps and gags, and something Bucky doubted he’d ever be comfortable to wear.

“Happy birthday,” Sam said behind the camera with a snicker.

“You. Are. An. Asshole.”

Captain America lost his composure, and Bucky joined in. 

And that was it, Bucky took the box home, shoved it into a drawer when he got home, and forgot about it for a few months.

***

It had been several months since Bucky’s Birthday, and Sam had almost forgotten that he had gotten Bucky those undergarments, that was until they had a mission come up on a day they were supposed to have off.

Sam was able to drop everything briefly and he rushed into the locker room to change into his Captain America gear, until something bright caught his eye.

Bucky was reaching into his locker to grab his shirt and pants, standing there in his socks and underwear, and that underwear was knitted to cling to his sculpted buttocks, the lace was patterned to show off feathers and wings, the primary feathers cupping around each butt cheek  drawing the eye to the shape, and to the center which covered the crack, the cut was surprisingly flattering.

Sam wasn’t sure why he was surprised, he was expecting Bucky to get rid of it, or forget about it, but then again he gave a Depression era boy a piece of clothing.

So it was time to do some playful ribbing.

“Are those red lace panties?” Sam asked, pretending he didn’t recognize them.

Bucky pulled back from the locker, his shirt partially pulled on, the bottom hem scrunched over his pectorals as he looked back and pulled the shirt down before grabbing the pants.

“It was laundry day,” Bucky defended, “Quit laughing.”

Sam fought down a chuckle, “I’m not laughing, but I am flattered.”

“F-flattered?” Bucky asked before he remembered what red panties he owned, and he pulled on his pants with an eye roll, “Well I can flatter you more when we’re done with the mission.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Sam sassed back.

“I don’t threaten, but I do promise.” Bucky whispered before he ducked out of the locker room, leaving his boyfriend behind to get ready for the mission quickly.

[tsp-narrator-ask]

hint esoteric fun times! Keep in mind I may be wrong about the final count again. Don't send asks with a headache, that was a bad idea yesterday.

1- This person fears for her life. A fugitive and a coward for good reason it seems. I can't reveal any more untill you promise sanctuary. She cheated death and is terrified you'll bring it to her. She's also judgy.

2- Stanley's personal stalker is well dressed. He only appears rarely and in certain circumstances but you've never acknowledged him. He likes when you answer correctly.

3- This person is a pain in the keister. It died once before and now is making that everyone else's problem. It's less shy than the others. It's called you "loud man" and I laughed.

4- The copy machine has printed lovely poems about wishing to be terminated on the floor.

5- This man is named Joe but most people don't know that. He may or may not still be alive. He's greedy and Australian.

6- This person is powerful. If they exist. May or may not exist and may or may not have killed Joe.

7- You know it™, you love it™, it's the Stanley Parable Adventure Line™! YES I'm counting it™. Any creature cognizant enough to take orders and be wrong about them is alive. In some sense. Its™ also able to be confused and seek attention. Please don't kill the line™.

8- This person is not supposed to be here! He loves a good pencil and sliders are his bread and butter. Well, it would be if they weren't trapped somewhere. They love time and may hate you. He needs a helping hand. Save him, will ya?

9- I miscounted. Stanley counts as alive in here.

10- You are alive, aren't you?

Number one I’m guessing is the person who took over my account for two days while I was trying to sort things out with Stanley correct?… maybe she a core who bounced here…? I mean you did say she needs sanctuary. And that’s the only possible thing I can think of.”

Number two- I have no idea who you may be referring to with this one. Stanley has a stalker? Besides me ?

Three is the bucket I presume.

Four the printer is depressed and an extension of me leave it alone it’s not alive.”

Five and six I’ll come back to you on that one.

The adventure line is a rogue bit of my intelligence. Sure it can move on its own and chose where to direct its self but it has no real thoughts or emotions. So it’s not a living thing it’s more so a glorified house plant or a worm.”

Ah you know I almost forgot about the sliders guy. Well really that was my supervisor. Here to have me gauge the experiences Stanley is having. That’s why he likes sliders so much. But when he saw I was deviating from the original parables use he threatened to rat me out- so in the end his fate was well deserved. You know being stuck here between code. He insists he won’t do it but I’m not going to take the chance.

“Nine and ten are both givens. Stanley and I are supposed to be here.”

[rjalker]

and again so much.

Moon looked down, distractedly digging his claws into the dirt, trying to conceal his expression. Bitter resentment or not, it was a relief that Chime wasn’t injured. Balm must have misinterpreted his relief as something else. “Chime didn’t learn to fly until a couple of turns ago,” she said, a little embarrassed, apparently feeling she needed to excuse Chime’s behavior. Moon was trying to stay out of this, but that was so odd he had to ask, “Why not?” He had thought Chime was his age. And Chime might be a little uncoordinated in flight, but he didn’t look unhealthy. Still limping and trying to work his wing, Chime growled, “Because I’m a mentor.” “I know that.” Moon didn’t quite suppress an irritated hiss. “If you don’t want to tell me, don’t.” He wasn’t going to be a permanent part of this court, and it wasn’t as if he needed to know. “All right, fine.” Chime’s voice grated as he carefully extended his wing again. “I was born a mentor. But then three turns ago, I shifted, and—” he gestured helplessly at the wing, “—this happened.” Moon hesitated warily, his first thought that Chime was making it up, or being sarcastic. But Balm’s expression was deeply uncomfortable. Suspiciously, he asked, “Are you serious?” Chime sighed, waved a hand over his head, and almost tangled his claws in his own mane of spines. “Unfortunately, yes. Believe me, I wish it was a bad joke.” Balm folded her arms, betraying some exasperation. “If you’d just make an effort, let Drift or Branch teach you—” Chime’s hiss was pure derision. “I don’t need their kind of teaching.” Moon was still stuck on the horror of the initial change. “That must have been…” He couldn’t conceive of how strange it would be, to shift and find your other body had changed, that you were different. Feeling inadequate, he finished, “…a shock.” “You have no idea.” Chime’s shoulders slumped in relief. Moon wondered if too many of the others had reacted by telling him he should just feel grateful for getting wings. Moon couldn’t imagine anyone not wanting to fly once they learned what it was like, but that wouldn’t make the sudden change any less horrifying. He knew, from shifting to groundling and back, that the weight of his wings, even when folded, drastically changed his balance, that his tail helped to compensate for that. An Arbora’s body must be completely different, since it was designed for climbing and leaping. When Chime had first changed, he must have had to re-learn everything, even how to walk in his other form. And all the Arbora Moon had seen were shorter and more heavily built than Chime. So his groundling form could have changed, too, Moon thought, feeling the skin under his scales creep in uneasy sympathy. He hadn’t known that could happen. He wished he didn’t know it now. Still depressed, Chime added, “Did you know that Aeriat really do have to sleep more than Arbora? I didn’t. I thought it was a myth; I thought they were just lazy. In the afternoon, I can’t get anything done. All I want to do is nap.” He shrugged in unwilling resignation. “Flower thinks it was because of the shortage of warriors in the colony, that it’s just something that happens.”

ignoring all the rest™, too bad this is all the sympathy Chime gets. From here on out it's just nothing but bullshit.

[indyhypnosis]

The Future Is Here (& It’s Shocking!)

“The thing about AI is that it’s very hard to predict what the long-term consequences are going to be. It’s like the genie out of the bottle, you don’t know what’s going to happen.” – Jordan Peterson

I spent the last two days in Las Vegas with some of the world’s most successful business owners and marketers.

To give you an idea of the caliber of the group, I was standing in the lunch line on Friday and struck up a conversation with the guy behind me.

As we got to know each other, he shared what he found to be working in advertising, that it costs three time’s more to convert prospects into customers, and why it’s about to get worse.

Then he qualified his opinion by revealing that his advertising budget last year was one hundred million dollars.

Yes, $100,000,000.00, spread across the numerous businesses his agency represents.

The first challenge is that the world is full of noise because of technology, and we are bombarded with thousands of distractions and marketing messages every day.

The second challenge is that on the internet, EVERYONE is an expert now, especially in the mental health profession.

I’ve studied psychology, human behavior, and business growth best practices for 35 years. But, most importantly, I have facilitated over 16,000 individual coaching sessions and hundreds of company group training’s, plus impacted millions of people online.

That real-world experience has given me tremendous insight into what drives human behavior and how to quickly and sustainably influence it.

Yet, the internet marketplace is full of life coaches, neuroplasticity coaches, mindset coaches, and numerous therapists selling programs online who have little to no experience but position themselves as an authority.

The third (new) challenge is artificial intelligence (AI).

I got a first-hand look at the new open-source AI, which was both thrilling and horrifying.

It was exciting because you could ask a complicated question and get an impressive response almost instantly.

The scary part is that this particular AI system was pulling information from the internet and feeding it back in a compelling manner, even though the answer given was false!

You may not know this, but a lot of the information on the interwebs is false or not based on real-world experience but on personal opinion, propaganda, or to sell you something.

It’s like listening to someone who’s always been single passionately rant about the complexities of marriage.

AI isn’t something that’s coming; it’s here.

It will significantly disrupt our lives and how we run our businesses by the end of this year, even though the average citizen will likely be unaware of it.

The only solution is to do your best to stay ahead of what’s coming by up-leveling your mindset, skill level, and ability to produce income.

Many approaches are available, yet based solely on the 93% success rate it has consistently produced over three decades, I recommend being coached with or becoming Certified in the One Belief Away™ Method.

Because the next One Belief Away™ Hypnosis Certification begins in two weeks, here are five crucial reasons you should apply to enroll in this program.

Increased job opportunities: Anxiety, bad habits, and depression are becoming more prevalent in mental health and related fields than ever, and there is a growing demand for OBA Hypnotists with specialized knowledge, skills, and business savvy.

Competitive advantage: Being able to produce almost instant results (positive enhancements in how one thinks, feels, and behaves) gives you an edge in the marketplace because 80% of consumers trust online reviews before buying.

Keeping up with advancements: Numerous training programs teach theories and strategies that are outdated, ineffective, or that satisfy the urge to feel special but do little to enhance the meaningful outcomes of the client. I’ve removed the intellectual fluff and given you tools and plans that predictably help the most people in the shortest duration. You’ll be utilizing 21st-century mind enhancement technology to end needless emotional suffering!

Greater earning potential: Professionals with knowledge and skills in OBA Hypnosis™ can command higher salaries and have greater earning potential than those without them. Many of our students do not practice as Hypnotists but have incorporated their skills into industries including healthcare, law, executive coaching, and Human Resources.

Enabling new possibilities: By understanding and working with your unconscious mind’s creative forces, you can unlock new growth opportunities and innovative solutions that would not be possible otherwise. OBA clients experience awe-inspiring results in all areas of life, completely transforming the quality of their life.

The world is about to change again, as it did with the internet, home computers, and smartphones.

We can prepare ourselves and be a part of the revolution or do nothing and become controlled by it.

I know which side I’m going to be on.

How about you?

🙂 Tim Shurr

[violasmirabiles]

me: knows damn well my insomnia gets Way Fucky if 1) theres something big to stress about and 2) if a certain time of the month is near

me, with Many Big Important Things this week, as that certain time of the month has also chosen to arrive: why the fuck am i not sleeping. i am losing my mind i am going insane. theres nothing that could possible be causing this right now. rude

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

so it's missing minho hours once more which ofc can only mean one thing: more random headcanons!! (basically I'm on my period and depressed so I'm adding another like, five to the already 50 that exist on my blog)

- his hair is weirdly soft. like if you'd touch it it would just,,,,, be like the most soft fluffy hair you've ever touched.

- he wears one and the same blue shirt all day every day. like, either he's running around shirtless, or he's wearing that one blue shirt™. not because of lack of other clothing that would fit him. honestly, tell me why he does this, I have no idea, but still I know for a fact that it is this way.

- he smells like a mix of aftershave, grass and wood and (after running) sweat but like, in a very good way. it's a comfort scent, you know? like I want to badly fall asleep in his arms just ✨ sniffing ✨ and wear his shirts so that I can smell him and smell like him

- he can pick anyone up but gally. he has armssss and he uses his muscles to pick people up. especially if he were to date, he'd be carrying his s/o absolutely everywhere if they were okay with it.

- while we're talking about being okay with stuff, he's also biggg on consent, and that's wonderful. like yes, he teases a lot, and he jokes and makes fun of things, but he cares hugely about boundaries and consent. he won't kiss anyone if they don't want to be kissed, he won't touch people that don't want to be touched, he will avoid topics that he knows whoever he's talking to is sensitive about. he has zero problem asking for and respecting consent

- he's so good at sports it hurts. he's a natural at whatever physical torture you try to put him through and he even has fun. whether swimming or goddamn yoga, he'd try anything and he'd beat you in a heartbeat. h o w. fuck him honestly

,,,,and literally

- he can't cook for shit though. it's a good thing that frypan cooks because he could not. if you were to try to bake or cook while he's in the room, he would try to "help" if you asked for it, you know, doing the little things like chopping vegetables. and he'd suck. so badly. and he'd joke all the time and distract himself and you and eat half the food before it's even done. do not, and I repeat, do not let this man in the kitchen with you unless you a) don't actually wanna cook and instead rather wanna have make out sessions or b) have no problem forcing him for the third time to sit down on his chair because he tried to sneak another bite of your biscuits.

that's it for now but I'm convinced that in a week I'll have another ten ready lol

[thekentuckyhimbo]

Hey Jealousy

Pairing: Orange CassidyxReader

Warnings: smut, 18+, explicit sex, relationship jealousy

Words: 1.9k

Complete: Yes

Summary:

You and Orange Cassidy have been fooling around for a while. But considering his usually apathetic demeanour, you hadn't expected him to get jealous when another wrestler flirted with you.

Author's Note:

The most embarrassing thing about this is that I felt inspired to write OC smut because I rewatched The Fish Video™

When MJF started flirting with you, you hadn't realised what he was doing at first. You were hanging out backstage in catering, waiting for Brandon to come and film your next bit for BTE.

The pandemic had been hard on all of you, and sometimes it felt like it had sucked the life out of the industry and the air out of the Daley's Place wrestling ring. But in such a young company and with so many motivated people, they'd managed to find positives in it.

The main positive that you saw was days and evenings like this. Spent milling about the backstage area of Daley's Place, sometimes vlogging, sometimes filming BTE, sometimes working out or practising moves on one another. Sometimes just talking and spending time with your fellow wrestlers while you avoided going back to your depressing quarantine hotel rooms.

That was how you'd ended up realising MJF wasn't such a bad guy after all, and how you'd ended up in bed with Orange Cassidy.

Speaking of Orange, he was watching your conversation with Max. Orange wasn't convinced about Max being a good guy, and despite his sunglasses you could feel the harsh way he was looking at Max, eyeing him closely from behind the silver lenses.

Max leaned in towards you then and said something under his breath with a wink. You didn't really hear what he said because suddenly you could feel blood rushing in your ears. Your ears always turned red when you were embarrassed, and immediately you thought of the way Orange would point it out in bed and nip under your earlobe.

You were embarrassed now because, thinking back on the conversation you were having and Max's body language, it should have been painfully obvious that he was trying to pick you up. You wouldn't even call it flirting at that point, he had a look in his eye that told you he was looking for a warm body in his bed tonight.

Your eyes flicked towards Orange and then back to Max as you processed Max's words. You could practically feel how cold Orange was across the six foot distance between where you stood and where he sat. Max was asking if you wanted to hang out once your scene for BTE was done, you realised.

"Um... Maybe," you said weakly.

Max's eyebrows knitted together and he looked icily at Orange and then back at you. Max began to say something and you were terrified of what it might be, but then Brandon was walking into the room and calling you over.

*

You laid in bed tossing and turning that night. It was 2AM and you'd been up since 5AM the previous morning. Exhaustion should have been hitting you by now, but you were up thinking about Orange instead.

He'd seemed so upset to see Max flirting with you. You figured it was just because Orange had wanted to hook up tonight, and had been disappointed that you might be busy with Max instead. For some reason that thought made you a little sad. Did you want something more than friends-with-benefits with Orange?

As if he could hear your thoughts, there was a small knock at the door. Orange always knocked quietly when he came to see you late into the night, knowing the surrounding rooms were filled with other wrestlers trying to sleep.

You got up quickly, not bothering to put on pants over your underwear and tank top. He'd seen you in plenty less anyway.

When you reached the door, you took a deep breath before you pulled it open. You couldn't pinpoint exactly why you were nervous, but you had a feeling Orange was going to be mad at you when you opened the door.

Finally, you bit the bullet and pulled the door open.

There was Orange, standing before you. No sunglasses, no double denim, hands clutched by his sides rather than in his pockets. He was wearing a worn old Chuck Taylor t-shirt, the one that looked like a whiskey label. And beneath that, a pair of worn grey sweatpants.

To be frank, he looked like shit. His spray tan had rubbed off of most of his face and neck, but was patchy and bright orange in some places. His eyes were red, and his usually perfect hair stuck up at all angles.

He took a step forward without saying anything, and you took a step back and to the side to get out of his way.

"What's wrong?" you asked, fearing the worst.

That someone might be hurt, that someone might have COVID. That maybe the pandemic was just too much and the whole company was folding. TK finally seeing business sense and cutting his losses.

Instead, Orange said:

"I didn't think you'd be here."

His voice cracked on the last syllable.

"It's 2AM. Where else would I be?" you asked dumbly.

"With Max," Orange snapped back immediately.

"I told Max 'no'," you replied truthfully.

You'd texted Max once you finished filming BTE with Brandon and told him you weren't interested in dating right now. Not the complete truth, but enough. He hadn't replied to you.

"Why?" Orange asked. His jaw was clenched like he was trying to be angry with you, but his voice still sounded hoarse and on the verge of tears. "It's not like we're dating," he muttered.

Orange looked down at his feet then - he was barefoot - and you felt your heart drop into your stomach.

You moved further back into the room and sat down on the bed, staring at your feet too. You dragged your toes through the carpet. You didn't want to reply until you were sure what to say.

Orange was playing tough, but you weren't stupid. He was hurt. You could hear it in his voice. And the rational part of your brain knew that the only reason he would be hurt was because he was jealous. Because you weren't dating, but he wanted you to be.

"Are you upset because I flirted with Max, or are you upset because we're not dating and you wish we were."

Your question seemed to suck all of the air out of the room, and you didn't dare look up at Orange to see what his face looked like.

You heard him cross the room towards you, and you felt yourself shake a little. You figured this would be the end of whatever this was, and it made your chest ache.

But then Orange's hand was under your chin, forcing your face up to look at him. His features were hard and unreadable, which scared you even more. But this position, sat on the edge of the bed while he stood over you, was intimately familiar. A wave of arousal washed over you, mingling with the fear you felt.

"I want you all to myself," he said confidently.

The crack in his voice was gone now and his hand felt like it was burning against your skin.

"I want that too," you croaked weakly.

Then Orange was all over you. He pushed you down onto the bed and covered your body with his. Instinctively you wrapped your legs around his waist and in seconds he was pushing your panties to the side and shoving his own sweatpants down to free his dick.

He pushed inside of you immediately and you bit back a cry, throwing your head back and wrapping your legs even tighter around him. Your ass arched off the bed and he held your hips so that you stayed off the bed, thrusting into you hard enough that it hurt.

"No one else gets to touch you like this," he growled, pulling you up towards him by your hair so that he could kiss you.

The kiss was gentler than you expected. He opened you up slow and sweet, licking the inside of your mouth. While he did he let your hips down so you were sitting on his lap, which freed up his hands to pull your tank top off over your head.

You clawed desperately at his shirt to take it off and he huffed out a laugh at how frantic you were, fingers slipping on the hem more than once before you finally got it off.

Once his shirt came off and you saw him smiling down fondly at you, you fell apart.

You kissed Orange desperately on the mouth and then he was thrusting into you again. You buried your face into the crook of Orange's neck and the way he was rocking into your body made you purr against him.

He was still chuckling at your antics, even as he wove a hand between your bodies and found your clit. He was an expert at making you cum after all the nights you'd spent together, and you felt yourself coming undone even more.

"I love you like this," he hummed into your hair, pressing a kiss there.

You must have misheard him, your brain going to mush as he rubbed his thumb in circles over your clit. You were already getting close, and your legs began to shake around his waist.

"I love you too," you replied breathlessly.

You froze when you realised what you'd said, but Orange just wrapped his free arm around you and kept pushing you closer towards your orgasm.

Orange laid you down gently onto your back as you got close and when he thrust as deep into you as he could go you couldn't help but cum, clawing at the sheets and throwing your head back as a strangled moan escaped your throat.

Orange didn't relent after that, rocking you through your orgasm until your hips squirmed underneath him. Then he laid his hand flat on your stomach and held you still, snapping his hips in a quick rhythm.

You knew him well enough to know when he was close now. His knees would get a little shaky and he wouldn't be able to help but let a stray moan or two out as all of his brainpower focused on maintaining his rhythmic thrusts.

Tonight he was staring right into your eyes, leaning over you like he was searching for something.

"Tell me you love me again," he dared, eyes not leaving yours.

"I love you," you gasped immediately.

"Oh shit," he replied appreciatively.

Normally Orange was quiet when he came, and you couldn't help but feel like you were being trusted with another side of him that you didn't usually get to see. Greedily, you wanted more. You wanted to hear all the noises he could make.

"I love you," you said again, chanting it now, "I love you, Orange."

When Orange finally came he bent his head and groaned long and low into the pillow beside your head. You rubbed his back through it as his hips stuttered and finally stilled above you.

Orange didn't move until he caught his breath, and when he did he turned his head to press a gentle kiss to your temple.

"I love you too," he said, as though it was the easiest thing in the world.

Neither of you said much after that, laying quietly beside each other in bed like you'd done a thousand times before. You were starting to wonder if you'd hallucinated the whole thing when Orange rolled towards you and draped one arm over your side, being your big spoon.

"I meant it," he said quietly, voice cracking like it had when he'd first walked through the door tonight.

You grabbed his arm with both of yours and tugged him closer to you, so that your whole bodies were flush against each other.

"Me too."

"So no more flirting with Max," he said with a laugh, smacking your ass playfully.

But when you turned your head and looked up at him he looked anything but playful. He looked ready for round two.

[sm-baby]

I wanna see if I can catch the vibes you're throwing for the lovely witches! Please forgive my formatting–•Witch 1: Mischievous Established Down Bad •Witch 2: The Mom Friend™ •Witch 3: Sophisticated Lady~ •Witch 4: A little depressed, probably has insomnia, but does her dang best anyways! •Witch 5: Quirky baked bean! A little clumsy but greatly capable!

YES!!! I LOVE ANALYSED ASKS!!

Their personalities felt very "at the tip of my tongue" to me at first BUT THIS HELPED ALOT AND ARE ACCURATE! I'M STEALING THESE! I LOVE THESE!

Witch1 - "DOWN BAD" *CHOKE CRYING * WHY DO I LOVE THAT DESCRIPTION..................You're right about the mischievous though she has the vibes of the cat with knives around it picture

Witch2 - The Mom friend, yeah... yeah.. little sensitive soft lady. Reminds me of Thea actually but yes!

Witch 3 - I find it neat that you see Witch3 as sophisticated or fancy cuz I was imagining the girls representing the different kind of love languages and she would have been gift-giving :3c

Witch 4 - I LOVE this characterization for her for some reason!! She felt the most disconnected when trying to find a personality but I fucking LOVE this one

Witch5 - quirky baked bean... you are absolutely right I'm glad that vibes passed though :3c

[ssaalexblake]

the idea that that scene was Dan outing Yaz is absurd and the scene tells you that, like, he didn’t do anything Bad(tm) here, but it still makes me worried he did it because I feel like he should have paid more attention to Yaz telling him it was more complex than just telling 13. Maybe asked her why she thought that before he said anything rather than possibly assuming that that’s what everybody says (to be fair, they do all say that).

Because it Really is more complicated than that. In ways it’s likely Dan doesn’t entirely understand just because he hasn’t been around for s11 and 12 and knows 13′s deal even less than Yaz. I Assume??? she told him things in those years in the past, but it’s not the same as seeing. 

the obstacles and impossibilities of thirteen and yaz are numerous and depressing and we’re all aware of them, i won’t list, but I think there may be a genuine chance Yaz might not be super happy with him if she finds out what he did here. By this i mean, if i were Yaz, i’d bloody kill him for that one.

Narratively this push had to happen, i’m not complaining about the plot but i don’t think this is as simple as a ‘he was in the right/he was in the wrong and there is no ambiguity here’, i think the fact that Yaz had the choice to either say or Not say what she feels to 13 taken away from her, even if 13 Did already know, is unfair to Yaz. She asked him what she should do and... He chose for her, basically. But 13 Needed to be called out and that couldn’t happen UNless it was pointed out to her what Yaz feels.

I perfectly understand Why he did, he even Says so and his backstory paints him as a ‘better to have loved and lost than to never have loved before’ kind of guy, but... This isn’t an unmessy situation either. I’m not meshing with painting it as anything but a messy situation. 

The thing is, i think he made a snap decision because he was judging 13, justifiably, yes, but he didn’t plan this, or think about the wider consequences to Yaz other than what had hurt her in that scene previously, I think he saw what 13 did in that scene and was unhappy, or was angry, and on the spot thought he’d say it. And this isn’t his sandbox to make snap decisions in however justified the callout is. 

All i’ve seen is people either condemning him or acting like he was 100% in the right the whole way and I disagree. He was justified but if i were in Yaz’s position it’d take me a while to forgive him for that one. The whole situation is messy, there is no way Dan wading into those waters wouldn’t also be messy. 

I like this plot, wouldn’t change what has happen for the world, but this is one of those shade of grey things to me. I’m even more on the side of ‘it was the right thing to do’ than saying he shouldn’t have done it, but i am uncomfortable with the ‘he’s either totally right or totally wrong’ read on this situation. It’s more complex than that. 

[uselessidiotsquad]

🌹🥀💫 for Riag!

@mystery-salad

Riag appreciation hours! Ty for the ask :D

🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?

The Grove - sort of. Yes, it's where he was 'born' and where his people are from. So in that sense, it's home. When he was younger he felt more of a connection to the other Sylvari there but given all that's happened, he sort of doesn't resonate with them. Especially with Ventari's teachings.

So yes, he's at home there and honestly if he lived any place else he'd always worry about the Grove. But it's still slightly off. Home as a person would have to be Trahearne, no surprise there - but again it's Home ™

Slightly off again. The most comfortable he can be around someone is with him, but there's a level of apprehension still. Of expecting things to go wrong. So he's at home around him, but it's also like waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time. That's just a him thing since Maguuma, not because there's actually any apprehension between the two.

Home, to him, is someplace where he can afford to let the grip of control loose a little. Where if he slips up or can't quash things quick enough it's not the end of the world. A place where he can have a bad day and it's just a bad day, it's not a mark against him. If he absolutely has to be vulnerable then it's a safe place to be.

🥀 How would your OC decorate a notebook or journal? What kind of things are written in there? Could you give an example of a nice entry?

Answered here!

💫What is your favourite fact about this character and why?

Oh man, oh man I have so many. I'll try to keep it in the single digits hehehehe.

I've mentioned before the accidental plant theory that happened with him but I'll recap. He was based on a flower that grows where I live. I didn't know what the flower was originally. Discovering it way later, I ran to look up the meanings (as you do when you're a plant nerd) and found it was the perfect flower for him.

Primrose. Meaning young love, and I can't live without you.

I also love that he got my plant lore knowledge. Talk about meta of a meta.

I also have had so many accidental things line up for him that I DID NOT plan and just they unfolded that way! Like for instance, in the early player story, he helped out Occam. I didn't think much of it until replaying it on another character but this line jumps out at me at beats me over the head.

And then with the old

In both of Apatia and The Big Ouch ™ it was a matter of being later and having to essentially mercy kill. Sorry beeb, accidentally made your Worst Fear foreshadowing x2.

I didn't plan this! I am not that smart! It just happened that way!

And last so I don't gush about him for years - I adore that love hasn't 'fixed' anything. By that I mean I see a lot of stories and a lot of characters where love happens all sudden wow look at all the things fixed in their life. This especially irritates me in regards to mental health, because it does not work like that.

Even a literal miracle (in my canon, the return of the 'hearne) does not fix his issues. It makes them less sharp and brings more joy but it's not a WOW AND EVERYTHING WAS HAPPY THE END. Because... no that's not how it works. Depression isn't fixed, ptsd isn't fixed, trauma and psychological damaged is not fixed just because love is present. It allows for some new growth but does not heal what has been injured and broken.