#yes i know i can't draw toilets

[skeltnwrites]

A/N: I think this is the first time I've ever been so emotional about something I've written 😭 this hit a little too close to home for me

Summary: You help Eddie wash his hair when he can't. | 0.9k words

TW: depression, best friend!reader

“Nooo,” Eddie whines, voice muffled by blankets. “Stop– Seriously!” 

Your grip around his ankle only tightens from where you’ve fished it out of his cocoon. You tug, ripping his sock off in the process, until he’s halfway off the couch, clinging onto a cushion like his life depends on it. 

“You’re so annoying,” he slumps into a sitting position on the floor, eyes peaking out of the fold in his comforter. 

You crouch in front of your best friend. “Yes, but you love me.” 

He leans away when you peel the corner of the blanket away. He’s pale, which is typical, but it’s summer and he looks borderline vampirish with how visible his veins are. A palm brushes his bangs back to meet the knot secured to his crown. He bends away from your touch a second time. 

“Hair’s greasy,” he mumbles; a weak excuse, like you’d ever care about that. 

“I can wash it for you,” you offer seriously. 

His lips tilt into a sort of smile and his brows knit together, “What? Like in the sink?” 

“If you want?” 

He hums, “Prolly uncomfortable.” 

“Okay, in the shower then.”

A real smile this time. “If you want to see me naked just say that.” 

You punch his shoulder lightly. Normally you’d shove him hard without a second thought, and he’d probably push back equally, but it feels wrong to do so when you know he won’t put up a fight. “You can put swim trunks on.”

“I don’t feel like changing.”

“Okay, then in this.” You pinch the hem of his t-shirt sleeve. 

“That’s a little weird.”

“Since when do you care about weird?”

He shrugs half-heartedly, “I guess. If you want.” 

In the bathroom, you turn the shower knob, “Hot or cold?” 

“Warm.” He’s slumped on the toilet lid in his pajamas, having ditched the duvet in the hall. 

“Okay, here.” You whisk the curtain open fully. 

He shoots you a look that says, ‘Am I really doing this?’ before stepping into the tub. His eyes widen when you climb in right after him.

“You’re crazy,” he grins and it makes your heart leap. You’ve missed the way his eyes crinkle at the edges and his lashes kiss the tips of his cheeks when he smiles. 

“Not as crazy as you.” You hook a finger under his scrunchie, gently working it until his curls spill over his shoulders. 

He sighs, eyes drawing shut when you tilt his head back. His clothes are already soaked through, clinging to his slender frame like a second skin. He blocks most of the stream but stray droplets catch your arms where they connect with his head.  

“Have you eaten yet?” You ask, massaging shampoo through his hairline. “I could go for some takeout right about now.” 

He blinks at you. “I know what you’re doing.”

You crane his head to the side to scrub his nape, “I’m not doing anything. I’m hungry.”

You’re not looking, but you practically feel him roll his eyes. 

“So, pizza?” 

He knows you only suggest it because it’s his comfort food, but he’s too tired to argue about getting something you both want. Eddie nods into your hand. You thumb his cheek, studying him self-indulgently while his eyes are sealed again. 

You work conditioner through his dead ends, tenderly detangling, and sticking spirals of black hair on the shower wall as they are combed out. 

Silent tears mingle with the water dripping off his chin. The tremble in his breath gives him away and you acknowledge it with a wordless hug. He reciprocates, squeezing you under the warmth of the showerhead. His nose digs into your collarbone and you trace the knobs on his spine. 

This is not the first time you’ve seen him cry, or held him while he did, for that matter. You are well-versed in handling his depressive episodes. Knowing when to push and when not to pry. Knowing when to hold him and when to give him space. And most importantly knowing that most of the time he just needs someone there. Not to talk about it necessarily but to just be with him for a night so he can pretend not to feel like shit for a few hours. 

You wrap him in a towel and scour his room for fresh pajamas. There was a time when he’d have been embarrassed to let you see his room in such a state, but you’ve drilled it into his head that you love all of him, even the messier parts. 

You change out of damp clothes in his room while he does in the bathroom. A handful of his things are put away while you’re in there, but not enough for him to scold you for doing so. 

He meets you back in the living room where he sinks back into his spot in front of the TV. You dial his favorite pizza place before joining him on the couch to brush and braid his hair. He thanks you, though you don’t need it. 

With his legs thrown across your lap and half a greasy pie split between your bellies, the hum of a movie soothes you both to sleep. Outside, the world spins on, but for now, here with him, everything feels still.

[chronicbitchsyndrome]

also i think a lot of support needs discourse completely overlooks the fact that the reason functioning labels and autism levels are problematic to begin with is because there is no across-the-board way to generalize support needs across dozens and dozens of different daily activities usefully, realistically you end up categorizing almost every disabled person as "mid support needs" because of splinter skills and that just isn't materially useful

"can't feed or bath themself" and "completely independently handles their finances and works an accounting job from home" can and do coexist in the same disabled person

"nonverbal and uses aac" and "is capable of completing a college degree" can and do coexist in the same disabled person

"can't live independently and needs a carer" and "is a carer for the other disabled people they live with" is something that applies to literally every disabled person i know

(and like, yes of course i think that people who are profoundly incapable of participating in abled hegemony in any way need language to describe themselves, but the ability to access abled hegemony is already overlooked as the main axis of disabled oppression, instead trying to localize it within our bodyminds? and yeahyeah i get it "i'd still be disabled under socialism" thats not really the point there, the point is regardless of how little you can access abled hegemony the disabling feature is still the access to abled hegemony, current language and discourse abt support needs obscures that imho)

(particularly because the visible markers of disability more profoundly limit someone from accessing abled hegemony, and arguments abt what is "more" or "less" disabling aren't centered on the axis of "how much is this person able to access the benefits of this hegemony, incl. income, respect and authority, social acceptance." i've seen people who have no ability to access institutions like work and school, 0 degree or qualifications and 0 income, being implied as ~less disabled~ due to current discourses on support needs, than people who draw on hegemonic authority via academic and professional accreditation.)

and like, separating out those into categories and representing access to those categories with ur language is fundamentally more accurate than drawing broad lines around dozens of categories of daily living and shunting disabled ppl off into those 3 or 4 categories. the experience of someone who cannot feed or toilet independently + has a masters degree is fundamentally different from the experience of someone who is independently physically mobile + labeled as violent and dangerous due to their disability and currently street homeless. and trying to determine whose "support needs are higher" in that axis or trying to plot them on an axis of "more or less disabled" is fundamentally useless in comparison to describing how their disability positions them in relation to abled hegemony and what parts of it they have access to and what parts they dont!

[memoiremunson]

Casual Dominance - Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: various instances where your bf Eddie Munson demonstrates dominant behaviors in your relationship.

A/N: I wrote this pretty quickly as all these scenarios of Eddie being soft/dominant came to me all at once. I am such a sucker for casual dominance like this with Eddie in other fics and had to divulge and write some of my own. I must admit I did draw inspo from a writer on here who I can't remember (sorry!) where they wrote something about Eddie pulling the reader's skirt down. Ever since I read that, it has lived in my brain rent free and thus this was created. So, thank you to that writer whoever you are! Also, the format of this fic is a bit wonky but I hope you're still able to enjoy! <3

Word Count: 1,467

Warnings: smoking, creepy men, drinking, protective Eddie, kissing, defensive Eddie, drugs, fluff

● - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ●

Eddie is definitely the type to display various ways of casual dominance. He would never be overbearing but I feel like he’d be very protective of you, wanting to ensure the absolute best for you. He had never loved someone so deeply as love in his own life was scarce. A true romantic at heart, Eddie would vow to protect those who he loves dearly, and my oh my if you were his significant other, you would be at the top of his list. 

Sometimes when you’d come home drunk after seeing Corroded Coffin perform at The Hideout, he’d take off your makeup for you, knowing you’d regret it if you didn't because every single time your eyes burned as soon as you cracked them open in the morning. He’d lead your stumbling figure over to sit on the toilet before getting your makeup wipes that he had stashed away in his room. 

“Sit, sweetheart.” 

“Come on, Edsss,” you drawled out, “ ‘m tired,” punctuating your sentence with a huff and a slight pout to your drawn lips. 

He chuckled as he ran his thumb softly over your extended bottom lip, he found you so endearing when you were like this. 

“I know, honey, but we got to get your makeup off.” He spoke in a hushed voice despite the trailer being only the two of you as Wayne was working his shift at the plant. 

You mumbled incoherently with a slight whine to your now higher-pitched voice. 

Eddie had now kneeled to be eye level with you, one of his large jeweled hands expanding over your exposed knee. His warmth seeping into your already heated body. 

His other hand worked to wipe at your darkened eyes gently. His face contorted in concentration as he worked. His dark eyebrows pulled in towards each other as his pink tongue made its way to the corner of his lip. The room suddenly grew quiet with only the hum of the overhead fan going and the soft breaths of yours and Eddie’s filled the air. 

Finally finishing your eyes, Eddie made haste in wiping off the color on your stained lips. You hummed at this, knowing he’d be finished soon. As that peaceful look came across your face, he couldn't help but stare with pure love and adoration in his eyes. His large brown doe eyes sparkled under the rather dull bathroom light but all could see the adoration that pooled in his eyes.

He could no longer resist before pressing his lips to yours in a soft gentle kiss. You reciprocated it despite not being able to really feel it as the alcohol still coursed heavy through your veins.

“I love you so much, sweetheart, you know that?” 

You now opened your eyes to see the face that you were always meant to love. 

“Yes, Eds. I love you too.” 

The two of you stared, taking the moment to truly let the words sink in. You interrupted the serene moment as the weight of your limbs came back from the floaty feeling Eddie’s love gave you just a moment before.

”Can I cuddle with my Eddie Teddy now?” You asked as your lips pouted again and your eyes turned to puppy ones. 

Eddie’s laugh ricocheted off the plastic walls as your smile grew into a giggle. 

“Of course, sweetheart, let’s go.” 

Another instance would be when you’d be talking energetically about something and he would adjust your clothing or hair. Once you were talking enthusiastically about how great the new song was to the hellfire boys at a band session when the neckline of your shirt began to slip lower. Eddie was quick to spot the top of your bra and moved to smooth out your shirt. 

He placed his large hand on your back and slightly tugged the shirt back into place. All the while, the boys made sure to keep direct eye contact with you as they respected Eddie way too much to be disrespecting him in front of him. His eyes met yours briefly as you continued to talk and he gave you an encouraging smile as you continued expressing your excited feelings. 

Another time, you both were at a party playing a stupid drinking game that he can’t seem to ever remember where you were standing up and sitting down again. With your constant movement of going up and down, your skirt had begun to ride up. He noticed some of the guys taking quick glances at your receding skirt line and exposed thighs. Eddie would quickly shut down their wandering eyes by yelling a “Hey! Watch it, man,” putting on that intimidating, hard exterior that had been cultivated from years of being the town freak.

It worked every single time as the guys would quickly look away and not dare to spare another curious glance. His large hand would then gently tug down the material of your skirt, all while admiring your beautiful smile and knowing only he could get to see that much of your exposed skin. Thus, tying into my idea of Eddie being a “my girl can wear what she wants, I can fight” kind of guy.  

Eddie would constantly carry your purse, backpack, shopping bags, anything. He’d refuse to let you carry things as he wanted you to be as comfortable as possible and enjoy whatever you were doing wholeheartedly. He would often look silly with your frilly, soft-toned purses against his hard, studded outfits of metal band t-shirts, signature leather jacket, battle vest, and ripped jeans. Yet, he never hesitated and always felt pride with you by his side. 

One thing he’d always make sure to do was be the driver when you'd two hang out or go to school. He felt a sense of control when he was behind the wheel, knowing he’d be cautious in protecting his beautiful passenger princess.

When he’d catch you trying to smoke one of his cigarettes, he’d give you a stern warning that often led into a lecture on how he does not want a pretty thing like you to get addicted. When you’d ask him why he could do it but not you, he'd reply with a simple, “I’ve got a reputation to maintain, sweetheart.” The response always left you huffing and puffing while he gave you a signature Munson smirk and inhaled the delicious smoke. 

He would also put you behind him if someone got in his face or a client would unexpectedly walk up to him. Sometimes when things got a little rowdy at The Hideout, he’d shield you away from the brashness of heightened testosterone and alcohol levels. Whether it’d be someone in the audience or a member from the other acts wanting to pick a fight, he’d slowly put his arm out and guide you behind his tall figure, puffing his chest out and making his stature stoic and hard. You couldn't complain though, as the view of his broad shoulders and stiff back had you swooning and wanting to run your hands over the expanse of his sexy back profile. 

Or when you’d be out and about around town, enjoying yourselves and a client would interrupt the two of you. You knew he dealt and was fine with it but he did not want those two aspects of his life crossing. Thus, when a client who was seemingly desperate for goods came up to you and Eddie in the middle of a date, he’d immediately shield you from their sight. He’d tell them that now was not the time in that lower register of his that you’d never hear directed at you. 

The client would try and argue with Eddie but he never backed down. Meanwhile, you’d just brush your thumb across his knuckles as he held your hand behind him, assuring him of your calming presence. Once the agitated client left, Eddie would relax his body and apologize softly. You’d always forgive him but the incident would still leave him upset for a while. That is until the next time he spoke to said client and it would be understood that that would never happen again. 

Even when he was not around, he had told the boys to look out for you as the target on his back easily transferred to yours. The hellfire boys all agreed as you’d quickly become one of their own. So in the rare moments when he wasn’t with you and one of the boys was there when someone decided to shoot off a mean remark, they’d be ready to defend you. 

So yeah, even though this isn’t an ask or really a fic, more like a really long blurb???, I definitely feel like Eddie would be casually dominant with you out of sheer love. Now, in the bedroom, this would transfer in mind-blowing ways that plenty of people here on this site have written about and you should go read!

Thank you for reading, Angel! <3

[ohtobeleah]

NOT ALL THREE EVENTS IN THE SAME UPDATE LEAH I WON'T BLOODY SURVIVE!!!

EEEPPPP IM SORRYYY! I couldn't help myself. I actually shocked myself with this one. Like damn--BUT, anyway! There’s the Masterlist if you’ve forgotten to follow along!

Warnings: Mentions of smut, domestic violence, mentions of a weapon.

***~***~***~***~***~****~***~***~***~****~***~

Bradley doesn't stay the night although you wished he had. He goes home to his far too empty home he wishes was as lively and as loud and homely as Jakes. He’s waiting for the all important answer he hopes is a yes–laying awake looking up at the ceiling fan that goes round and round on a medium setting. 

Bradley falls asleep thinking about you, thinking about what it would be like to share his bed with you on a permanent basis. Share a home and a life and all the trials and tribulations that come with committing yourself fully to another person and their subsequent mini me. 

He wants this, he wants all of this. He wants you and Odette and the chaos that comes with you. He wants the laughter and the tears and the addiction to caffeine you stubbornly reject you have. He wants to take all your worry and all your heartbreak and he wants to be a role model for Dot. he wants to be your rock, your best friend, your partner in crime and in life. He's found his person, he knows it. 

“You’re really gonna make me work for this aren't ya guys?” Bradley mumbles to himself in the dead of the still night as he tucks a hand under his pillow and kinks his head to look at the photo he has on his bedside table of his parents. They’re both so in love in the photo Bradley cherishes as one of his prized positions, all he wants is that love. “Couldn't have just let me get the girl without an ensuing crisis?” 

Bradley knows he's talking to himself, it's so quiet he can hear the crickets chirping outside, but he knows his parents are out there, looking down at him with smug smirks plastered on their faces because their boy is head over heels in love. 

“Yeah, thanks guys, your real ones for this, honestly.” Bradley Bradshaw just wants you and everything that is you and comes with you. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Psst–” Jakes alarm hadnt even gone off yet. “Psst–Jake?” In his dream he thinks he's on a boat somewhere, being rocked about on the choppy sea. “Dickhead, wake up!” It's the slight snack to the forehead that's ever so rudely drawing him from his slumber and back to reality, his room is still hard, it can't even be five in the morning. 

“What! What, who the fucks dying Y/n?” Jake grumbles as he grabs the pillow next to him, draws it under his arm and rolls over. He doesn't appreciate it when you rip the pillow out from under his head, sending his skull crashing down against the mattress with a thud. “What is your issue!” He's snapping, sitting up with a huff as the covers fall down around his waist. 

“I thought I heard something outside.” Immediately, all Jake's anger from being woken up in the middle of the night, resolves as his shoulders slump and he rubs a hand down his face. Yawning when he actually sees the time, three. It’s three in the goddamn morning. 

“Alright, alright–” Jakes getting up without another word, he doesn't feel like it's necessary to press you further for an explanation, he knows why you’re on edge. “But just so you know.” There's a second where Jake stands with you in the darkness of his room that he sees the girl who’d smoke weed on the fence down by the back of the yards and spend weekends sleeping on his floor on a blow up mattress. He stills sees her, only instead of a mattress on his floor you're in his spare room, with a daughter near as beautiful as you. Jake sticks his finger into your sternum, growling because it's far too early to be awake and you both know it. “Wake me up like that again and i'm using your toothbrush to clean the toilet–” 

“Thanks—“ Jake was expecting some sort of comeback, some witty remark he knew you’d be good for. But when you met his threat with a meek one word, sleep laced reply? All Jake could do was bring your head closer to his by wrapping his hand around the back of your head. His lips pressing against your forehead for a few seconds. “I really do think I heard something.” 

“I believe you.” Was all Jake said when he pulled away, switching on the light in the hall as you followed him out. “Come on, if anything it’s probably just the guys next door.” He was doing his best to calm your nerves. “You know how they like to dick around—come home all hours of the night before they barely make it in the front door.” Jake's bedroom and your own were upstairs, the staircase, which was only two flights if anything, seemed all the more daunting when you knew what you heard wasn't the familiar sounds of next door coming home late and messing around. 

“I know.” Was all you said in response as you fumbled down the stairs behind Jake, gripping in the elastic of his shorts that hung low in his broad hips. “Just didn't sound like a sound that I usually hear.” Jake looked around the entryway, his feet solid on the hardwood floor of the first level of his house. He could feel your breathing down his neck as you stood on the first stair of the staircase. “Shhh–” You tapped Jake's shoulder. There it was. “Did you hear that?” 

“Well if you'd stop talking for five seconds Fe, maybe I'd hear something.” Jake snapped, he was just tired, he wanted to help but god he wished he was in bed. 

“Jake–” You heard it again, it sounded like someone was walking along the front patio. Heavy footsteps loitering in a place they weren't supposed to. Jake's ears pricked up when he heard it too, frowning as he took a few steps towards the front door, dragging you with him as you gripped his wrist, trying to stop him. “No stop, there's seriously someone out there–” 

“Yeah and if there is it's three in the morning and they sho–” There wasn't much time to process what was going on before Jake was dive-bombing you into the floor. Sheltering you with his entire body as glass shattered all throughout the entryway. “Fuck!” 

If you took a left at the bottom of the stairs, there was Jake's living room. If you took a right at the bottom of the stairs, you'd make your way into the dinning area and kitchen. In the entryway? Two thin windows boarded the front door. They were both frosted, but the light that would come through really opened up the space. 

“Holy shit what the fuck was that?” Your eyes were as wide as sources as Jake hovered over you, protective arms on either side of you as he noticed the small cut on your cheek, probably from a piece of glass. Looking to his left, Jake saw the brick sitting in the middle of the foyer. Surrounded with broken frosted shards of glass. 

“Don't move.” Was all Jake said as he moved off of you to inspect the foreign object that shouldn't have been in his house. Turning it over, Jake couldn't believe his eyes when he saw what was written on the bike in red paint. ‘Whore’ turning the brick back over, Jake did the once over as you sat up amongst the glass. “You alright?” 

“I'm good.” You didn't know what else to say. “It was him wasn't it.” Jake didn't know what to say to you as he watched your gaze fall to the brick in his hand. “Who else would throw a brick through your window at three in the morning.” 

“We don't know it was him alright, just–” Jake knew it was Jaidyn, but he was going to deal with it in the morning. There was nothing he could do about it at three in the morning. “Go grab Odette, sleep in my bed the rest of the night.” 

“Where are you gonna sleep?” Jake Seresin would be the first person to admit he’d been a selfish man before. He’d put his needs before others on a number of occasions and he damn well knew that. His friends, especially the ones he flew with, would be the first to tell you how unreasonable egotistical Jake could be. But, when Jake saw your fingers dart up against the small cut in your cheek to wipe some of the blood that had escaped—he knew there wasn’t a length he wouldn’t go to, a corner on earth he wouldn’t walk to in order to keep you safe. 

There was nothing more important to Jake Seresin than his best friend. There was nothing more important to him than his best friend’s daughter. 

“I'm not gonna sleep.” It was the honest truth. Jake knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep after this. “I'm gonna clean this mess up and see if I can find something in the garage to board that window panel up.” Reaching out to help you up, Jake groaned as his knees cracked. “If you can’t sleep just watch TV, but stay upstairs.” 

“I should probably help you clean up.” There was some level of shock in your voice, Jake could hear it. Your voice quivered when you dropped your head again to look at the mess around your feet. 

“Y/n?” With a fingertip to your chin, Jake forced you to look up at him—in the eyes that met his was a look of fear, a look of genuine panic. You were terrified. If this was Jaidyns minor what was his end game. What lengths was he willing to go? 

“Yeah?” But what Jaidyn wasn’t counting on was the lengths Jake Seresin would go to in response. 

“I wasn’t asking you, I was telling you.” Jake hissed, his teeth gritted as he clenched his jar, holding back the urge to run out the front door and met Jaidyn as his own—fuck him up beyond the point of return.  “Go get your daughter and sleep in my room.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Rooster, I'm telling you, I'm gonna kill him.” There's a lot that goes into getting Odette Dolan ready for daycare. Jake considers himself a pro when he's out the door with a whole five minutes to spare. Jakes strapping his favorite little girl into her booster seat that's nestled in the back of the car he’s borrowing from Penny. “He threw a brick through my goddamn window!” 

“It could have been worse Jake, at least the three of you are alright.” Bradley, at this very moment in time, had to be the one who kept his composure. If he riled Jake up enough he was worried he'd actually commit a crime. “How was Fe this morning?” Rooster had an early start, same as you, he'd been on base for the better half of two hours before Jake had even gotten himself out the front door. You had been gone even longer, a crisp five am start did not bode well after your three in the morning fright.

“Quiet.” Jake replied, Bradley could hear it in Jake's voice that he was holding the phone up against his ear and shoulder while strapping Odette into her booster chair. “What a low life honestly, he's lucky I didn't beat his damn door down and ring his neck.” 

“Alright, easy up Al Capone we’ll deal with it.” Bradley sighed into the phone as he took a bite of the blueberry muffin he'd picked up at the little coffee cart that usually opened far too early. “Just get Dot to daycare before you have an aneurysm. I'll stop by the workshop and see how she's doing.” 

“Kay, but I’m not happy man.” Jake was furious, he always knew ever since you showed up at his doorstep near dead just what Jaidyn was capable of but for some reason it seemed as though everything had been a figment of his own imagination. He’d never seen it play out before–until there was a brick in his foyer with the word whore written in red sitting amongst a sea of shattered glass. Noone got to call you a whore, no one but him that was, in the most loving way you could ever call your sister a whore. And more importantly, no one got throw a fucking brick through his window without consequence. “Odette could have been hurt, Y/n could have been hurt, I’m gonna stab him in the eye–” 

“You are not bro.” Rooster laughed, saunting his way into your workshop, sending you a soft wave when he caught you at your desk, a hard boiled egg half way in your mouth. “I gotta go, kiss Dot for me.” 

“Bye Tooster, love you handsome.” Jake replied teasingly before he hung up. Turning his attention to clipping Dot up. “Right, off to daycare we go.” Jake loved his drop off days. Tuesdays and Thursdays you'd start at the ass crack of dawn–leaving Jake to get your little girl to daycare. “Don't tell Mama but I put an extra babybel cheese in your snack box because I know you like those and those cucumbers just aren't gonna cut it, are they?”

“Nope.” Dot cooed, smiling back at her uncle Jake like he hung all the stars in the night sky just for her. “I dont tell.” Watching with a cheesy grin as Dot beamed up at him, Jake's heart melted. He’d lay his life down for you and your daughter any day of the week. “Mamma don't know.” 

“You and your mama are gonna be the death of me kid.” Jake chuckled as he double checked the buckles that kept Dot strapped in, ruffling her hair before he shut the door. “The goddamn death of me.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“I'd offer to share my muffin but you seem pretty content with that egg Fe.” Bradley Bradshaw had never found you more attractive than he did when he saw you sitting at your worship desk eating a few hard boiled eggs for breakfast. He’d seen you naked, he’d held you in the most intimate of ways, but this sight right before his very eyes had topped the cake. Leaning in to wrap his arm around your shoulders as he kissed the top of your head. “Morning beautiful, heard you had a pretty interesting night?” 

“Oh god–” Rolling your eyes as you spoke with a mouth full of egg–you held a hand over your mouth to keep some of your dignity intact. “I didnt wanna be a bother Rooster, I would have called but–” 

“No need to explain–” Braldey understood, you didn't need to explain the ins and outs of your thought process. “I'm just glad you're okay.”it was a simple comment, but it made your heart skip a beat inside your chest. Smile butterfly-like movements made your stomach growl and you weren't sure if it was because you were starving or if Bradley had made your stomach do backflips. “Just got off the phone with Hangman, he's running early for daycare drop off, for once.” 

“Far out he was fuming, I swear I saw smoke coming out his ears at one point.” You teased, stifling a chuckle as you rolled your eyes and took another bite of your egg. Consuming the rest of it before wiping your hands on your overalls. “Will you be careful up there today?” Your voice was soft as you turned on your stool, allowing Braldey to stand between your legs as you wrapped your arms around his waist, drawing him close. “If Jaidyns throwing bricks through windows I'm sure he's gonna be just as manic in the sky as he is on the ground.” 

“I dunno if he’ll even get a chance to get up today if Jake gets a hold of the guy.” Bradley cooed, cupping your face between his hands. It made you laugh, genuinely. Although you feared for everyone around you and your own safety, the way Jake and Bradley were handling the situation just made you all the more confident in the fact this was where you were meant to be. “So, I'm not pressing eggy–” Lingering between his statement and his question, Bradley placed a gentle kiss against your lips as he tilted your chin up. “But have you given any more thought as to if you wanna ditch your current roomie?” 

“I thought I didn't even have to give you an answer?” You had already decided what you wanted to do, but that didn't mean it was the right thing to do. For once in your life though you wanted to do something you wanted to do, give into temptation. Working to slide your hands promiscuously down the small of Roosters back, trailing your nails down his ass. Watching with a wild smirk as drank in the expression Bradley gave you. One of lust and desire. “Or are you that obsessed with me you need to hear me say i'll move in with you Braldey Bradshaw.” 

“I was really hoping that that was going to be your answer–” Bradley was beaming ear to ear as he leaned in to take your lips hostage, moaning into your touch as you squeezed his ass cheeks playfully. “Because already emptied a bedside table for you baby.” 

“That's so hot.” Teasing, couldn't break the kiss even if you wanted to. Bradleys hands were roaming your body as your tongue danced with his. Standing between your legs he was quick to start undoing the buttons on your overalls. “Talk dirty to me more Bradshaw.”

“I'll even let you have your own rack in the shower–” Your hands made the journey from Rooster's ass to his chest, slowly undoing the buttons that kept his flight suit together. One by one you made your way down his chest–still drinking him in like he was the oxygen you needed to breathe. “If you're lucky.”

“Rooster–” The only thing that had Bradley stopping his assault on your mouth was the fact he wanted to give the little spot that sat right under your ear a little attention. Leaving marks up and down your neck as he did so, moving his hand between your legs, spreading them further apart as he stood as close to you as he possibly could. “Bradley!” It made you squeal when Bradleys hand came to rest against your core through your overalls, damn those fucking work overalls, they really were functional for all the wrong reasons right now.

“Yeah baby?” Rooster smirked against your neck as he felt all the blood rushing from his head down south, suddenly his boxer briefs had never felt so tight. 

“I really wanna fuck you right now.” You whispered as you turned to kiss Braldeys earlobe, pulling it between your teeth before letting go. “But I wouldn't wanna damage government property on government grounds.” For the first time in a long time, Bradley Bradshaw felt like a teenager, looking around in a frenzy to see if anyone was around out on the tarmac or walking towards your workshop. 

“There's not a soul in sight Y/n.” Bradleys cheeks were flushed red, he’d never been so needy before, your touch drove him crazy like he’d been deprived of touch his entire life. “Come on, i'll have sex with you, you wanna wanna have sex with me? There's a perfectly good couch right there–” 

“As much as I'd love to have sex with you at work, Bradshaw, I finish my break in two minutes.” 

“I only need one, come on–” Bradley had you up over his shoulder in three seconds, running you over towards the couch as you laughed and beamed as bright as you could. To you this was all the love you ever needed. 

“Rooster! All the blood in my body is rushing to my head! Put me down!” 

“Uh—am I interrupting something?” Phoenix chuckled as she made herself known. “I mean I can always come back later?” Bradley froze, still holding you over his shoulder as you slumped, letting your arms hang low. “But I kinda need Felix to check my oxygen valve.” 

“Sure Tash.” You sighed, wiggling out of Bradley’s grasp as he crouched. “Rooster, put me down baby I gotta get back to work.” It was with nothing but a reluctant sigh that Bradley did as he was told. 

“We can pick this up tonight back at our place can’t we?” It was a simple question that held so much promise. Bradley Bradshaw had never felt so whole before. Looking at the shock that plastered itself across your face, he knew he’d said something unintentionally. “What? What’s wrong?” 

“You said Our place?” He’d said it without hesitation, that’s what had really shocked you the most. “Don’t you mean your place?” 

“Well no Baby, if you’re going to be moving in of course it’s gonna be our place.” Bradley beamed, kissing your temple before to swallowed the reality he’d be walking around base with blue balls all day. “I’ll see ya later Fe.” 

“Bye—“ You chuckled, softly tapping Rooster on the ass as he turned on his heels. 

“I hate you and your bad timing—“ Bradley stopped to groan at Phoenix, adjusting himself as he did his Flight Suit up. 

“You’ll thank me later when you aren’t served a cease and desist.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Oh we’re getting big aren’t we darling girl.” As soon as Jake had Dot out of the car and settled on his hip with her purple backpack strapped around his shoulder, Jake's heart dropped when he saw Jaidyn leaning against the brickwork of the entryway of SunnySide Daycare. “Shit—“

“I tried to wait in the front office but the bitch behind the counter told me I wasn’t welcome.” Jaidyn growled as he pushed off the wall, making his way over to Jake as he held Odette a little tighter. Feeling her hand grip at the collar of his flight suit.

“What are you doing here?” With all the strength he had, Jake was civil. He couldn’t start an argument here, not in front of his nieces daycare centre even if every bone in his body was letting him to fuck this guys shit up. 

“I wanted to see my daughter, you know—the one you and that Bradshaw guy keep playing pass the parcel with.” Jaidyn spat as he tried to reach for Dot, Jake just turned his hip, making sure the distance between the man who never wanted Dot in the first place and herself was of adequate proportion. “I’m still her father, Seresin.” 

“Oh yeah? In whose fun house mirror?” Jake smirked as Odette held him a little tighter, she didn’t know her dad to be a good man. The world could be a scary place for such a small human being and she really didn’t know all that much being two. But what Dot did know though was that she felt in danger around Jaidyn Dolan. “She was never your daughter and never will be.” 

“Yeah I always had my fucking suspicions about you.” This wasn’t the time nor the place to be having a confrontation, not wanting to entertain it any longer Jake just sighed, readjusted Odette on his hip before pushing past Jaidyn to make his way into the daycare. Only for Jaidyn to try and reef Odetter from Jake's grip, stopping him in his tracks as Jake turned with wide eyes in shock horror. “SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!” 

“AND YET SHE'S TERRIFIED OF YOU! I'M THE ONE SHE TRUSTS!” Odette hated when those she loved raised their voices around her, her tears felt like acid to Jake as he heard her begin to cry and grip him tighter after she'd nearly been ripped from the safety of his arms. 

“Your mother is poisoning you against me sweetheart.” Jaidyn cooed as he tried to reach out and brush Dots head. She turned her face into Jake's shoulder as she tried to bury herself into him. “Daddy misses you princess, but i'll get you back baby, daddys gonna get you back.” 

“Jaidyn, I swear to Christ am not I’m not doing this with you here—“ Jake mumbled under his breath as he pushed the front door open. “Hi Melissa, can you call the cops for me?” Jake asked as he walked in, his eyes immediately meeting the woman who’d been there when you’d first enrolled Odette. An older woman who’d immediately had a soft spot for you and your little girl. “Tell them that there’s a guy in the parking lot who’s a danger to others.” Jake tried to keep his composure as he handed Dot over to one of the early educators who had been watching from the window.

“Should we call her mother?” He didn’t quite catch her name as he shook his head no. Passing over the purple bag. 

“I’ve got it covered, as long as he doesn’t come in the building I wouldn’t bother her about it, she’d only worry.” Jake smiled, crouching down to eye level with Odette as she stood holding the ladies hand. Looking at Jake all kinds of confused. “Have a good day Dotty, remember, that extra babybel stays between you and me, alright?” 

“Otay Jakey—“ Dot nodded, ever the good little girl she’d raised to be. Heading off with her early educators all the while Jake cracked his neck and clenched his jaw and wondered if this dickhead was really worth doing time over. 

“Lieutenant Seresin the police are on their way over.” Melissa croaked out as she watched Jake storm out the front doors, pushing his palm against the glass like it wouldn't buckle under his strength. 

“Bet shes not even fucking mine!” Jaidyn scoffed out as Jake approached him once again, now childless. “That fucking whore was probably fucking you on the side the entire time we were together.” it hadnt been the first time Jake had heard that accusation, but it had been a few years since the last time when his own mother had asked if the two of you had ever slept together. The answer always remained the same, no. “She always spoke so highly of you, like you were a fucking god amongst men, well guess what! I ain't letting you play daddy to my little girl!” One thing that really made Jake's blood boil to no end was the fact Jaidyn had the audacity to claim Odette as his daughter when he never wanted her in the first place. 

“If only Odette were to be that lucky.” Jake was quick to retaliate the claims Jaidyn spat. “My biggest regret was introducing her to you, you fucking cunt of a thing.” It wasn't that Jake had planned on starting an all out brawl in front of Odette Dolans daycare centre, but the opportunity had presented itself to him on a silver platter. Shoving at Jaidyns chest just to watch broad shoulders man stumble back a little. “You’re lucky you're not already in a hospital somewhere breathing through a goddamn tube!” 

“Careful there Jakey boy, we wouldn't want you tarnishing that golden boy aesthetic you've got going on.” It was as if a switch inside Kaidyn had flipped, the manically smirk he wore had been something Jake had never bore witness to. He, for even just a brief moment–was afraid of the lengths Jaidyn would go to in the car park of his daughter's daycare. “I should have gotten rid of you when I had the chance.” Any intention to start a war now was out the window, Jake was only planning on roughing him up a little bit. 

But when Jake saw the undeniable shine of a knife slip down after being concealed in Jaidyns flight suit, Jake backed off quicker than he would have liked to admit. This was far more serious than he ever thought it was. Sure you'd told him time and time again just how unhinged he was and how if he had the chance he'd kill you, but Jake for some reason thought that was impossible now that you were here in North Island surrounded by people who loved you and who would protect you. 

“Is that a threat?” Jake replied as he stepped back, tucking his sleeves up to his elbows. “Because if I didn't know any better I'd say that was a threat.” How this guy had been able to keep this level of physiopathy from the Navy Jake had no idea. The super glue Jaidyn must have used to keep his mask on tight needed more publicity. “But before you do anything stupid, Zeus, just so were ont he same page here–” Jake could see the police car rolling slowly into the car park behind where Jaidyn stood. “You will have to walk over my dead body to get anywhere near Odette, or Y/n.” 

“Mate, that can easily be arranged.” Jake didn't know what was happening until it was already happening, Jaidyn was coming at him with a common grade kitchen knife. With fight of flight kicking in, Jake ducked, sending Jaidyn over his shoulder and onto the gravel. “Fuck you Seresin.” 

“I'm out of your league.” Jake replied as he straddled Jaidyns waist, laying a few heavy hitters against his face, blooding his knuckles as the knife laid discarded under a nearby car.  He’d lost it, he was in it now. Blinded by a rage so dark it almost felt like Jake had tunnel vision as his fist came down against Jaidyns face. He knew this was what the guy wanted, but so be it for a few seconds of guilt free revenge. 

“Hey! HEY!” With arms pulling him up and off Jaidyn, Jake looked over his shoulder and saw two men in uniform. The police officers. For a moment Jake really did think they were just pulling him off Jaidyn to give him a breather, but when they didn't let up–Jake frowned. 

“Woah! Woah what are you doing!” Before Jake could even register what was truly happening, or the trap he;d fallen into, He was being pressed up against the back of the police car, with his hand pulled up and around the small of his back. “He had a fucking knife! The call was about him!” The cooling sensation of metal handcuffs kissed Jake's wrists as shock flooded his system. Holy shit this wasnt fucking happening. 

“Sorry Seresin, guess I'll tell the admirals you’ll be a little late this morning?” Jaidyn hissed as he spat a glob of blood onto the ground, his teeth were all bloodied which made his maniacal smile all the more gut churning as Jake looked at him with nostrils flaring and a clenched jaw over his shoulder. “I'll be sure to press charges.” With a wink, Jaidyn dusted himself off before leaving the scene, seemingly unrattled by the police officers who let him walk away with ease. This was what was wrong with the justice system. 

“This is such bullshit! He came at me with a knife!” with panic lacing his voice and a ball of fear caught in his throat, jake watched as Jaidyn made his way to his car, he watched as some o the early educators came out to see what all the fuss was about, he saw the looks on their faces and his heart sank into his chest. “Don't call Y/n!” He shouted. “Don't call her!” 

“Sir you have the right to remain silent, anything you said can be used against you in the court of law.” The police officer who had Jake restrained against the hood of the car reminded him with a gruff tone, clearly not amused by the Naval Aviator's actions. Jake had fucked up, he knew it. He shouldn't have played into Jaidyns game. 

“Fuck–!” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

The lyrics to Hilltop Hoods “OOFT” played through your speakers as you worked on the F-14 that still sat in one of your bays. Standing underneath the fossil you teased Captain Mitchell about on a regular basis, you heard footsteps approaching from behind as you stifled a giggle thinking it was Bradley. 

“Back already?” It had only been about an hour since Rooster left with his tail between his legs and a hard on that was throbbing. “I'm busy Bradshaw, cut a girl some slack.” 

“Well if Bradshaws being a bother baby I can see he won't come near you ever again.” Your entire body shivered as Jaidyns' voice cut through the song lyrics. “Just say the words.” Turning around to face your ex, you held in a shaky breath, holding your ground because you were at work right, he wouldn't pull a stunt at work. “I miss you–” 

“Yeah, because throwing a brick through someone's window just screens take me back, doesn't it Jaidyn.” You couldn't have rolled your eyes any harder if you tried to as you pushed past him. “Listen, I don't feel comfortable being alone with you in my workshop, so unless you need something, I'd rather you leave me to work in peace.” 

“I do need something.” Jaidyn replied as he followed you back to your desk like a lost puppy. “I need you back, I need my girls.” 

“That's rich.” You said it just loud enough that you could hear it, but Jaidyn only heard you mumble. “I'm not interested, and as for seeing your daughter I don’t think that's a good idea without getting a lawyer involved.” 

“Let me guess, you're not interested because you've shacked up with that Rooster guy, haven't you?” You could feel the atmosphere around you shifting, Jaidyn knew he made you nervous, so standing a little too close inside your personal space gave him the advantage he needed. “And fuck a lawyer you self richious bitch, thats my daughter just as much as she is yours and if I wanna see her I have every right to.” 

“I'm at work Lieutenant Dolan, this isn't the place to be doing–” Jaidyn didn't let you finish before he was slapping you across the cheek at full force. So hard it made your head go with the force of the back of his hand. In shock you squealed, bringing your hand up to cup your burning cheek as your jaw remained slack. “I tried to tell Jake that this morning, but he didn't quite get the memo.” 

“What did you do to Jake!” You hissed as you turned back to face your ex, he’d begun to back you up against the nearest wall, a blood lust evanent in his dark eyes. “Jaidyn where the fuck is Jake–”  When your back hit the wall and Jaidyns arms came to grip at your forearms, pressing his thumb into the pressure points in your biceps, you hissed. “Ow–Ow you're hurting me.” 

“You know, I'm getting pretty sick of the way you're acting.” It wasn't a tone you were unfamiliar with, but it didn't make it any easier to listen to. “I really do miss you sweetheart, take me back.” Jaidyn was on another planet if he thought you were going to take him back after everything he’d done to you, but that was always the way, wasn't it, with narcissistic assholes like him? 

“I don't wanna be with you–” You sobbed, feeling Jaidyns hot lips against your neck as he leaned in. “Get off me!” 

“You know I really do feel for that Bradshaw guy.” Jaidyn sighed as he felt him sink his teeth into your neck. “He doesn't know what he got himself into with you, does he?” You couldn't hold back your tears as you silently sobbed. Jaidyns hand roaming your body, bringing flashbacks with them. You could feel yourself falling through the cracks, like discarded cigarette ash. “He doesn't know how to take care of you like I do and I really, really wouldn't want to see him get hurt–” You felt it before you saw it. The sharp point of some sort of knife pressing into your side. “So I'm gonna ask you one more time sweetheart.” Hot tears streamed down your cheeks freely and without hesitation as you tried to stop your bottom lip from quivering.

“Take me back?”

***~***~***~***~***~****~***~***~***~***~**~**

Tags: 

@a-serene-place-to-be

 @lilyevanswhore 

@thescarletknight2014 

@blindedbythelightt 

t @averyhotchner

@emma8895eb 

@blairfox04 

@caitsymichelle13

@oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo

 @teacupsandtopgun 

@aemondssiut

 @feltonswifesworld87 

@akalei349 

@notjustsomeblonde 

@americaarse

@avaleineandafryingpan

@phoenix1388

@xoxabs88xox

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**

[samoankpoper21]

Levi, I'm Pregnant...

Summary: Levi made it very clear that he wasn't too keen on having children but the universe has a way of throwing you off; modern! au

Side note: Anything with < text > is Levi's thoughts.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, you anxiously paced back and forth, gnawing at your bottom lip, trying to come up with different ways to tell Levi the one thing you knew he may dread: I'm pregnant. How could have this happened? Growing up you've always experienced irregular periods so this time you didn't think much of it...that was until the nausea started kicking in, the fatigue crashes, the way your nose would scrunch up at certain scents i.e lavender, pickles, honey, garlic; and the fact that you were always so god damn horny for Levi. You took the first test and it came back positive. Nah that can't be right. The first one is most likely a false positive. You took a second one a week later. Positive. Third times a charm right? POS.I.TIVE. While Levi was at work you scheduled an appointment with your primary doctor. "Congratulations! You're 11 weeks along!"

In the midst of your pacing, you failed to realize Levi step foot in the house until he plopped his briefcase down and stared at you causing you to gasp. "Hey baby." you squeaked.

"Hey you. What are you doing?"

"Huh?" you noticed Levi slightly frowning, you knew that he was catching on to you. "Baby I made dinner why don't you wash up?" Levi stared at you a beat longer and sighed. "Tch. Fine."

You both sat for dinner and you suddenly felt a bit queasy, it's mac and cheese for goodness sake! This was your comfort food! You cleared your throat and began to drink your orange juice - heeding your coworker's advice of eating oranges to deal with the nausea. Without a beat Levi's eyebrow shot up, he knew you wanted to tell him something but was waiting for you to approach the subject. You don't realize it but you gnaw your lips and avoid eye contact when there's something heavy on your mind. Levi continued eating the steak, mashed potatoes, and string beans you set out for him. "How was work today baby?"

"Oh uh it was fine. How about you?" <there shes goes again gnawing at her damn lips>

"Same shit, different toilet." You chuckled at his response but went back to gnawing your lips. You could feel Levi staring holes into you as you looked everywhere but him. "Tch." His impatience was rising with you but he didn't want to make you feel rushed. <What could be so fucking important that she can't spit it out?!> The rest of the night progressed as "normal" as you tried to make it. As you were both preparing for bed you got a whiff of honey, ran to the toilet, and began throwing up; Levi instantly behind you holding your hair. "Oi. What's wrong with you? Are you getting sick or something? You better not be I swear to God if you are-"

"No," your eyes started tearing up, hands shaking.

"Oi, what's wrong with you?"

You hastily stood up to blow your nose, rinse out your mouth, and turned to look at him. <Oh no...is she...leaving me??>

"I don't know how else to tell you this so I'm just going to shoot it to you straight...I'm pregnant." <What...> Levi standing there with no response trying to figure out the mechanisms of it drove your anxiety through the roof, upset even. "Fine then! Good talk." You were trying to rush past him but he was too quick. "Oi, it's rude to walk away when people are still having a conversation."

"Well it's rude not to say anything when your girlfriend gives you life shattering news you twat!" you spat out. Your crumbled into his arms sobbing. This damn pregnancy! Levi carried you and placed you on the bed gently, he kneeling in front of you. "Levi, I hic I'm s-sorry," you tried to explain through the tears. "I, hic, I I know hic you said you hic don't want kids but hic it just happened! Okay?!" Levi was drawing patterns into your hands. "Y/N I never said I didn't want kids."

"Yes you did! When hic I brought it hic to your attention you said no hic that they're little shits!"

"Y/N I only said that because I'm scared," he whispered. "I don't want my kid to go through what I went through." You gently tilted Levi's head with your finger to look up to you, into your eyes, gently grasping both sides of his face. "Baby they don't have to." you whispered.

A beat of silence passed with Levi closing his eyes leaning his face into your hands. You began running your hands through his hair.

"I-"

"F-" you both stopped and began to awkwardly laugh. "What were you going to say?" he asked.

"You go first."

"Shit heads go first."

"Ha ha you're so funny," you dryly responded. You took a deep breath and said, "I'm keeping the baby. With or without you." A moment of silence passed when he replied, "Oh the irony because I was going to say fuck it, yolo." Your face lit up. "Really? Baby really?! We're really doing this?!"

"Shut up will you." you jumped up, embracing him in a hug, plastering kisses all over his face. He laid both of you down and you nuzzled into him more, your foreheads touching. "Baby."

"What?"

"You're going to be a great father."

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

I’ve spent the past few days eating up all the Yves content I could find on your blog he’s just so perfect oh my god??? I don’t know how to put it but he sounds like the type who’d always have the best posture and the way he walks would feel feathery.

I did not see this question from the gazillion asks I read but if something similar has been asked before you can ignore this.

How would Yves be with an artist reader who mostly has time for him but completely becomes detached for hours or sometimes days while working on a drawing? Sorry if it’s too specific you can go with different scenarios too.

Also sorry if I randomly drop a fanart of him one of these days

oh man i would be honoured to receive a fanart of yves and hell yea i love yves thanks for reading thru the madness, yea hed like walk so fluidly n shit its like unreal

but anyways getting to da meat:

He would be happy if you have a lot of time to spare for him. Yves would never take a single second for granted and he will cherish every moment with you.

Through his observation and your own assurance, he is secure in the relationship. So he wouldn't mind you disappearing into your room for days on end to complete an art piece. He will let himself in to provide you your meals or do parallel work; he will bring his laptop over and do his own thing while you do yours.

There is an invisible timer that dictates when you should go to the bathroom, eat, rest, or sleep. If you're cooperative when he greets you with a kiss and reminds you to come to bed, eat dinner or to relieve yourself after an entire day of not visiting the toilet once, he will continue to use that method. He doesn't mind having to babysit you for ages, Yves actually likes it.

He would take pictures of your progress. When you start to think that your work looks horrendous, Yves will show you the photos of your earlier stages. Praising you for how far you've come, telling you that he personally thinks it's beautiful. But he is in no way a pure 'yes man', it depends on your goals. If you want to create photorealistic paintings or drawings, he will provide the best constructive criticism on how to improve your proportions. You can simply describe what you want to create, Yves could be your muse if you want him to. He is willing to stay in a singular, muscle-straining pose for hours if you ask him to. Or, he could gather reference materials for you. Yves does have a strong background in photography too. No concept is too absurd for him to capture or even sketch.

However, if you react negatively to his reminders, such as harshly shoving him away or screaming at him to leave you alone, Yves will be resorting to reality bending. Depending on how much you hurt him, he will either make you cry 'on your own' by manipulating you into thinking that your work is terrible no matter what you do. You can't accuse him of saying derogatory remarks, because he wasn't even in the room. You shooed him out earlier.

He messes with the lighting to make your artwork 'ugly' in your eyes. Yves toggles with the humidifier or dehumidifier to make it harder to work with your art medium. The temperature in Yves's studio either seems to be sweltering or freezing. But the thermostat says otherwise. Either way, you can't create in these atrocious conditions. So you give up and retire for the day.

Everything will be back to normal tomorrow, but if you pay closer attention, you will start to feel upset over your artwork every three hours. Specifically, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm, and inevitably give up by 10pm. You would only have the urge to continue after enjoying breakfast with him past 7am. Strange, don't you think?

During your breaks, you would automatically seek Yves out for lunch, tea time, and dinner. He will not visit if you express your extreme displeasure with his presence while you work, Yves gives you the 'freedom' to choose to meet him in his office. He is always there if you need him.

Regardless, in the end, you will never fail to appreciate your own work no matter how tough the journey was. Yves ensures that you know your creation is valuable. He is supportive of your passion and is willing to finance any and all of your essential (and nonessential) materials. You could even ask him for advice, unlocking a previous chapter of his life where he used to paint under a pseudonym, for the wealthy, the enthusiastic, and the eccentric. Best to keep your mind open and not undermine him in anything, or else you might miss out on fascinating Yves lore. He wouldn't bring these up on his own if you never asked. It's always a good thing to learn from someone much older than you are.

Your jaw would be on the floor if you knew that his old canvases were now retailing for billions of dollars at auctions. But he deems it unnecessary for you to learn of that, all you need to know is Yves can draw human hands wonderfully and accurately in any pose, in under five minutes with no reference.

[nocturnalrorobin]

THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT

Wire x f! Reader

CW: Size difference, degradation kink (only some), p in V, Anal, oral (giving), DP, Breeding kink, Sir kink, aftercare

Minors DNI

“Fuuuck.” Wire moaned, tightening the grip on your hair while you took all of his massive cock with your mouth. “You are such a whore for my cock.” His degradation was sending pleasure through your core. Your tongue swirled around the veiny cock as your cheeks hollowed out. “Don't forget about my second dick though.” He moved your hands from one to the other and you immediately began stroking him. At this point, Wire was fucking your face erratically, but just before he came he pulled out and hot streaks of cum from both cock covered your tits.

With a big grin on his face, he used his index finger to write “Happy Birthday to me”. “That stays on there baby girl. Got that?” He cupped your face and as you only nodded he pinched your cheek. “Words.” He commanded.

“Yes sir.” Pleased with the answer he kissed you roughly. Your wet muscles dancing together though he dominated. His hands went down to your pussy and ass. The left hand made sure to use enough slick from you as a lubricant as he started penetrating your tight ring with one finger while simultaneously two fingers of the right hand were pumping into your pussy. You rolled your hips and whined. The initial sting in your ass subsided, he added a second finger and started scissoring your hole to add some more stretch. He could feel you getting restless. “Please Wire. Sir. I want you in me.” You whined against his chest.

SLAP! He retracted his finger from your ass, to spank you hard your ass. “Be patient, my little cock sleeve and stop being a brat!” A third finger entered your dripping wet pussy as his other hand went back to stretching your ass. The movements of his hands increased and the thumb of his right hand was rolling over your clit bringing you quickly over the edge. You collapsed against his chest knowing full well this was just the start. “What's your color?” He gently pinched your thighs to get your attention.

“Green Sir. Please don't stop, fill me up.” you begged laying yourself on the back as he pushed your legs next to your ears.

“Oh I'm gonna fill you all right. I'm gonna breed you until your body can't take it anymore.” Wire sneered down at you as he lined up his cocks. Making sure again to use your slick as lubricant he penetrated you with both at the same time. “Relax or you will snap one of them off.” He commanded.

He began moving with a slow pace to not hurt you after all it was a big size difference and you were stretched to your limit. As you got used to it he picked up the pace and got rougher while leaving bite marks all over your neck. “Hnnng Sir…” your hips kept rolling in rhythm with his brutal pacing. He roughly bit your lip as he wanted to kiss you and you stretched out your tongue so he could suck on it.

Suddenly his pace became erratic and brutal. All you could hear was skin slapping against skin and both your moaning sounds. He kept hitting that spot deep inside and even though he would punish you later you couldn't take it anymore and came. You screamed his name so loud the whole ship surely heard it all while he still kept going at a brutal pace. “Come on, be a good girl, and give me one more.” He grunted using his hand to press into your clit and it didn't take long for pleasure to wash over both of you collapsing into each other's arms.

After he caught his breath he got up and came back with a damp washing cloth, he started at your intimate zone to make sure nothing was hurt and continued to wipe away the rest of the cum on your breast. “Are you in any pain or otherwise uncomfortable?” He caressed your back.

“No love, just exhausted and my muscles might be sore tomorrow.” You reassured him.

“Well I'll draw us a bath and get you something to drink, but first you should go to the toilet if you don't want a UTI.” He picked you up, looked into your eyes, and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Thank you for this lovely present. You did great my baby girl.

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

|•♡•♡{Welcome pick your man!}♡•♡•|

|•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡.{Number 6}.♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•|

Notes

{♡} personal

- Silly love notes

Crack

{♡} personal

- You....your a normie? Omfg we need to teach him a/b/o

Hand holding

{♡} personal

- buddy I need this hand, it's my dominate one. Just hold the other- WHY ARE U MAD???

Incorrect Quotes

POOKIE IS MISSING⁉️

Incorrect Quotes

For you

Casper gets migraines

{♡} requested

- migraines fuckin SUCK luckily Charlie is there to help!

Autistic Casper HC's

{♡} requested

- Charlie with a autistic Casper!

Purse Charlie

{♡} personal

- I need him in my purse.

Casper's side quests

{♡} personal

- Casper is just doing side quests at this point

Au idea

{♡} personal

- Casper's a nurse- IS THAT CHARLIE ON THE HOSPITAL BED?!?!

Incorrect Quotes

Limited options

The not so but so happy day

{♡} requested

- Autistic Sunflower having a meltdown, in a grocery parking lot. Luckily Finn knows what to do.

Finn's listeners meeting

{♡} personal

- all the Sunflower variants are losing their minds

Hooked nose

{♡} personal

- he'd look beautiful w one

Incorrect Quotes

Actor au question: Yandere Finn?

Tummy ache

Au

{♡} personal

- nepotism fucks over Faust falling in love

Faust things

{♡} personal

- teehee Faust brainrot

Gacha luck

{♡} personal

- Are you a gambling man!??!

Hatsune Miku

{♡} personal

- MIKU MIKU BEAM!!

Role play partner

{♡} personal

- YOUR MY OLD ROLE-PLAYING PARTNER!?!?

Shit talking couple <3

{♡} personal

- shit talking w your babe is amazing really

Sims

{♡} personal

- 100% a Sims girly

Talking shit in Overwatch voice chats (lil rant on my side)

{♡} personal

- Faust shit talks

Don't talk to me or my child

{♡} requested

- Rook WILL kill you.

Planning a birthday surprise hc

{♡} requested

- Auron plans something big!

Puffed up

{♡} requested

- Rook, annoyed puffed their cheeks angrily. Sadly that didn't work on Auron.

When world's collide-

{♡} ask

- So Rook and hunter swapped...how would the Auron's take it?

Theme song

{♡} reblog

- LITERALLY HIS THEME SONG WDYM

Jessica and Roger Rabbit

{♡} personal

- literally their dynamic

Vampire Rook

{♡} personal

- Give Rook the vampire and see Auron lose it

Weird kid allegations

{♡} personal

- he will NEVER beat them.

Demolishing a keyboard

{♡} personal

- FAST AS FUCK BOI

Dark romance novels

{♡} personal

- ....wanna recreate the sex scenes-

Bite his arm and hands

{♡} personal

- NOM NOM NOM

Social media thirst

{♡} personal

- NO LUBE. NO PROTECTION, ALL NIGHT, ALL DAY, FROM THE KITCHEN FLOOR TO THE TOILET SEAT-

Clowning Auron's face

{♡} personal

- could Auron kill me? Yes. Will I keep clowning him? Also yes.

Rook hacks Auron's social media

{♡} personal

- fuckin w his social media bc why not

Nasty Lustful Tango

{♡} personal

-I wanna dance w hiimm

Incorrect Quotes

Look good

50 shades wannabe nerd

Actor au question: anything break?

Auron's fault...

And bricked!

Personal Grill

{♡} personal

- What if he could be a grill almost?

Man handling

{♡} personal

- MAN HANDLE ME PLEASE ONE CHANCE-

Incorrect Quotes

Tucked in

Chimichanga stand

Ordained minister

Boo scaring the boys

{♡} ask

Art!!

- teehee boo scaring their boys

{♡} my art

- my art :D

Crossovers

{♡} personal

- more anime cross overs :D

Good Omens

{♡} personal

- I LOVE GOOD OMENS!!

Seth in a dress...

{♡} personal

- PRETTY SETH PRETTY SETH

YV boys with kisses on them <33

{♡} personal

- I can't draw men </3

OC boo idea

{♡} personal

- ex biker?, tatted?, and strong? Damn mf got a type

Who I think YV boys would main on Overwatch

{♡} personal

- mains the boys would be

What dances would the YV boys do?

{♡} personal

- dance styles for the boys!

CRACKSHIPS <33

{♡} personal

- my prized post ngl

Twitter PT11 PT12

Incorrect Quotes (Multi character):

What could have happened

Actor Au

How bittersweet chp3 ep10 went basically

Wonderful experience

Caring is giving a pinecone. On a stick

[leffee]

Do you have anymore Vinnie head cannons laying around?

Oh sweet sweet ask about Vinnie headcanon, how I missed thee! Of course I do, I always have. I will try to keep them new but like, I shared so manyI might not remember what I already said and what I didn't, so I guess those might be kinda obscure. Oh well.

he's much better with his hands than he is with his legs, just in general. I mean you saw him dancing, it's not going good, is it? But his hands, now they are quite good - he knows how to solve a rubik's cube, is pretty good at drawing and just manual things like origami or quilling. That also includes walking upside down

he has to show ID almost every time he wants to buy alcohol cause his shortness makes him look younger than he is xd. He's so used to it he has that thing ready even before they ask for it, but being used to it has not lessened his irritation with this cause they will tell him he looks like he's 15 and Vinnie will be just "I'm literally almost 10 years older than that but sure."

he speed-walks a lot of the time cause again, short, and since basically anyone is taller than he is, especially Sunil, when he walks with him Sunil naturally takes longer strides so Vinnie has to accelerate his speed to be at his side and so his normal walking speed changed to speed walking

buying gifts for him is really easy, whatever the occasion. Like, if you don't have any better ideas just buy him energy drinks and/or sweets. This isn't a "consolation gift" for him, he genuinely just likes them so much all 6 of his friends could bring those and he'd be the happiest person alive

he is not immune to being tempted by vending machines, whether with snacks or coffee. When he is close to one he really, really wants to buy something, I mean he's already close to it and he could use a little treat :3. He... wasted so much money on those stuff but he doesn't really want to stop cause holy crap snacc!

he pretty much never wins any board games. At first he was all chill about it cause whatever, but once it became a pattern he got secretely insecure about this cause how the hell does he lose every single time? Is he that stupid...? (He is, everyone else has much better strategies). He gets really mad afterwards in the "wanna destroy everything" style, but he tries not to show it because showing that he's insecure about anything is a big no-no.

the gloves he wears have a double purpose, sure, they're mostly there because he just thinks they're really cool, but at the same time they help slightly when he falls, specifically when he falls forward and reaches his hands in front of himself to soften the fall like ppl do. Of course he falls down a lot so that happens really often, and without those gloves he used to have such battered palms cause they would like rub against the rocks or pavement etc. So those gloves protect his hands a little bit too

out of all of them he's the first one to go pee in bushes if there's no toilet available/there's a long line to one/etc. He does prefer going to a normal toilet but like, if anything like that happens he's not holding it in damn it, he needs to pee and he's not waiting if he doesn't have to

he has different mugs for different drinks: one for coffee, one for tea (not that he drinks much of it but still), one for hot cocoa, one for water, one for juice, etc. He just can't stop himself from buying mugs when he sees a cool one so he ended up with so many mugs he might as well give each of them their specific purpose

he's really, really fond of all his friends' parents, especially Sunil's yes, but he likes all of them just for the fact that they're parents and they actually take care of their children and Vinnie just really craves parental affection and attention (tbh, I never really thought about what everyone whose parents weren't canonically shown (aside from Vinnie ofc) would be like so I don't really know if they would be good parents cause I just don't have thoughts about them but Vinnie just really likes them as long as they're decent at least

Aaand my 10 headcanons per post reached cause I think it's a pretty good number for it to be a lot to read but not too much

[madohomuisgay123]

Sketeton? Yes you yes sketeton is you si ni yes gang you what is operaction yes you is sketeton disorter heybell ride the lighting yes I'm no wow metallica meow yes sketeton korn wow corn slip yes knot shush foo no fighters meow kurt running to yes fangs vampire dark nonchalant dreadlocks head yes shut no nirvana best for whom the bells tolls shush no goody me wow woof arf draw sigma no skibidi no it's a nonchalant dread head oh em gee hush hush hush meow sketeton dave Minecraft yes td td brickwalls and jojo siwa meow Marcy wu getting stabbed by king andrias live 4k Sasha falling down Anne turning into leaves 4k live deaths dying lol lol period dancing black swan meowing marky wu barking and tap dancing I'm literally tap dancing on my limited addition Dora the explora shoes on saturns rings while live at YouTube and getting thousands of views because I'm sigma literally an alpha and your a skibidi not a toilet man twitching while on the ground dog are cool but cats are best cats cats cats meow meow meow meow yes ik I'm a cat I like being a cat cuz their cool yep ik I can be cool too ya know hush hush hush ik I'm noisy woisy no I'm not yep ik I'm falling down the stairs like Mari from omori yes Mari we know you dead we know that uh huh uh huh bloody heck man ugh brooky spooky haaha I see sketeton twerking on the sun dancing singing boneless skinless haha pov pov pov wow wow ow meow meow meow when? Huh. Ik I'm sigma did I say that a thousand times now? Yes okay well I don't care ahha until wait- toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart- no not this. Turip? Ip? Ip? Ip? Tuna ip? Ip? Turip? Ip? Madoka! Please don't go! Sorry but I have to go meet the others now, make sure to take care of your self okay? Madookaaaaasrrr!! Siahfudj. You can't become a magical girl!! Nuh uh! F- you mean "Nuh uh"?! I mean no you fugly bish :3 Madoka don't go!! Dw bro you'll always be my bestfriend :3 I thought we were dating!!! Do do do do do do do do do do! Lalalalalalalalalalaaalala!! Meow meow meow!!! I don't have crickets :'O sorry bbg but business is business B) wow beans beans beans jessie ate some beans he was happy happy happy that he ate some beans, hahaha what, what are you talking about I'm not crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once, I was locked in a room, a rubber room, a rubber room with rats, and rats made me crazy,.... Idk one two.. Ten thousand. Huehah. Meow? Hehe.. Meow.. Hahaha.. Arghh... Bleee.. Bleeepp.... Blooaappp.... Meow....

[bfiaflbox]

So this is how it starts - Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Pairing: Matty x original female character

Warnings: drinking, smoking, swearing; mentions of: misoginy, cancer (in the past), infertility

Disclaimer: some of what the ofc is experiencing is rooted in my lived reality, however I lie for plot purposes a lot. I draw inspiration from things that I read somewhere or that actually happened to me or my friends. It's not proof read and English is my second languageso there's either too many commas or not enough commas.

Further disclaimer: yes I know it's not *that* hard to wrap a pan, it's very hard however to make it look nice...

"So you and Matty hit it off last night" it's not a question.

I'm on the phone with Carly after a "call me when you get this" message she sent me at 7am the following Saturday.

"Why would you think that??"

"Adam literally showed me the group chat where Matty called you "fit"" she laughs.

"Fucking hell, that sounds like we're back in year 9" I roll my eyes although she can't see it.

"Don't avoid the subject. What happened after you guys left for the tube station" she makes it sound like a conspiracy.

"We did just that. We went to the tube station and then home"

"I feel like you're leaving out *a lot* of details and one to three major plot points"

"fiiiine" i groan but have to laugh as well "it's ridiculous. Halfway down the road we decided to get another drink. We sat in a bar and talked until we were thrown out and then we went home"

"Liar"

"Not a lie" technically.

"Come oooon, I haven't been on a date in *ages*! I live vicariously through you" I hear Adam saying something in the background that I can't quite make out and they both giggle at something.

"I have to insist that this definitely wasn't a date and it really wasn't that exciting. Anyway, like I said, halfway down the road to the tube station Matty asked if I really wanted to go home or if I was up to get a drink with him. I said yes and so we went to a pub that was kind of crowded but we managed to get a seat at the bar. We talked about ... anything really. He thought it was kind of unfair that I had a pretty much clear Idea of what he does for a living and asked about being a tattoo artist and running a shop and all that. He told me about BJJ, I told him about growing up with five siblings. We got a bit drunk and I think at some point I kind of insulted him as "the queen of juxtaposition" or something, it was good fun...I think. Did I mention that we both were quite drunk? Fuck, I swear I made a proper fool out of myself."

"Yeah, you do that when you're drunk" Carly laughs.

"Thanks, I'm mortified... Well at some point he had to go to the toilet and some bloke thought he could take Matty's seat and chat me up. Next thing I know Matty's having a row with that guy and the bartender threw us out to prevent a pub fight."

"And there I was thinking you were thrown out because they were closing and you stayed that long because the conversation was just sooooo good" Carly interjects in a slightly mocking tone.

"Yeah, well, no. We had a laugh about it and went on to the tube station. Turned out he wasn't planning on taking the tube and just wanted to bring me. But yeah, that was it."

"Have you talked since?

"It's literally been nine hours and nope. I don't even have his number" fucking idiot not getting his number.

"Well that can be arranged, wait a sec"

My phone chimes with a message from Carly who just sent me Matty's contact info.

"Excuse you? You can't just give out personal information like that?!" I'm kind of glad she did though.

"Make it a good story at your guys' wedding and we're even"

////

Do I text or call? Text or call, text or call? I kind of want to hear his voice but I don't want to disturb hin in case he's in the middle of something. But calling is more personal, however, he doesn't even know I have his number and that's super creepy. Fuck, why is this so agonizing. Fuck it, I'll text him.

Me: Hey Matty, this is Hannah from last night. You know, the tall and pretty one :P Carly gave me your number in an act of rebellion against data security, hope you don't mind. Did you get home safe?

His answer comes in a matter of minutes.

Matty: Hello! Tall and pretty indeed. I did get home safe, although I feel like I should be the one asking you this.

Me: We're both alive and well it seems.

Matty: Good. Will you go on another date with me?

Me: What do you mean "another"?

Matty: Avoiding the question!

Me: Not avoiding, clarifying! but yes, I will go on a date with you.

Matty: Another! :)

Me: Seriously, is drunk shit talking and almost getting punched by some bloke your Idea of a date? That wasn't a proper date, my friend.

Matty: Who made you the Master of Proper Dates?

Me: Not you apparently

Matty: Also I would like to clarify that I do martial arts for self defense not to get into fights with random strangers.

Me: yeah keep telling yourself that

Matty: You're sassy, you know that?

Me: yeah, I do sometimes hang out with myself.

Matty: About that date... You free Friday?

Almost one whole week? My heart sinks a tiny little bit.

Me: yes, I'm free Friday.

Matty: Then it's a date. The second one.

Me: Serisously, that's such a weird hill to die on

///

On Sunday he sends me a picture of him in a park with Adam and Baby Hann and captions it: "Is it possible we have a favorite person in common?". I know he's referring to the child but I can't help but reply "I don't like Adam *that* much??" which earns me a bunch of laughing emojis.

///

On Monday I send him a photo of my super messy kitchen after trying to cook a halfway decent meal and caption it with "if one of your future date ideas involves cooking, I'm out" to which he replies: "A woman who doesn't love to cook? you will never make a man happy :P"

///

He calls me on Tuesday evening just as I'm in the middle of wrapping Christmas presents. "What are you up to at the moment?" he asks innocently enough.

"I'm trying to not lose my mind while gift wrapping?"

"For Christmas?? It's only the beginning of December!"

"And I hate Christmas shopping so each year I make one day at the beginning of December designated Christmas-present-day where I get all the gifts I need to get so I can relax for a whole year after that. Except for the part where I need to figure out how to wrap a pan"

"A pan?"

"Yeah you know the cooking thing. It's almost like a pot but..."

"I know what a pan is, woman" he laughs.

"It sounded like you wanted an explanation. I'm not judging, there are a lot of complicated words."

"you're such a menace. I meant why are you giving away pans for Christmas? that's a bit of a... weird gift?" he's still laughing.

„Hey, it's a nice pan and my sister-in-law asked for one, I’m not weird, I promise“

"I can't believe I'm asking this but do you want help wrapping gifts?"

"You mean now?"

"Yeah, I'm still at the studio but that's not too far from where you said you lived"

"Honestly, Matty, that would save my sanity and my evening"

"Cool, then I'm coming over"

"The place is a mess and tiny so don't expect much"

"Seriously, Hannah, you don't cook, you don't clean, what ever are you doing with your time??" his tone is obviously mocking.

"Be nice, I have a pan to hit you with if you get too cheeky"

"Uuuh, maybe I'm into that??"

"Please, don't be?"

We both laugh, I give him my address and we hang up.

An hour later I open the door to an overly excited Matty holding a bottle of red wine and grinning from ear to ear.

He hands me the bottle and adds "It sounded like you could use the moral support"

"Matty, I have to confess something to you" I say in a serious tone.

His expression changes and he furrows his brow. "What is it? Is everything ok?"

"I'm afraid I'm more of a white wine girly" I say with a mocking sad expression and a pout

"Pffffff, I thought you liked that Malbec the other day just fine"

"And I felt like a proper French philosopher drinking it"

"Fucking French philosopher" he laughs.

I lead him into the living room where the epitome of the gift wrapping mess is located and get two glasses from the kitchen. He pours the wine, takes a glass and looks around.

"Cosy" he nods

"Messy" I sigh

"Did you manage to wrap the pan?"

"Not yet"

"Why don't you just put it in a box and wrap that?"

"Thought of that, but I don't have a box that fits the fucking thing"

"Ok teamwork then" He takes a sip of the wine, puts his glass down on the coffee table, claps his hands and goes "what do you need me to hold?"

And that is how Matty and I end up on my living room floor, me giving instructions and cutting tape, him holding the paper in place, until it is finally done and the fucking pan is wrapped in paper.

"You could turn it upside down, draw a face on it and sell it as a duck"

"No more experiments, I'm just happy the fucking thing is wrapped in something"

We drink some more wine and wrap some more gifts although none of them prove to be as challenging as the pan.

"Hey will you help me wrap my gifts... later in December... when I actually manage to get something?" he asks and for a second he seems kind of shy

"Only if there's wine again"

"Just tell me which wine you like"

"Pinot Grigio"

"Whatever that is"

"You're the wine nerd??"

"I never said that!" he laughs.

His phone he had placed on the coffee table, before making himself comfortable on the floor, rings. I instinctively look and see the caller ID says "Denise".

"Oh sorry, I have to get that" he takes the phone and goes to my tiny kitchen.

I try not to follow the conversation which is kind of impossible in my rather small flat. He doesn't say much but I can make out a "looking forward to seeing you tomorrow" and that he ends the call with "love you".

My heart sinks. He has a girlfriend? Of course he has. That was to be expected when I think about it. He's handsome, successful, fills arenas with girls who love him... and on top of that he's funny and lovely. What a fool am I to believe he could ever be interested in me...

Matty comes back in the living room and just says "Sorry 'bout that"

"'s alright" I mumble. Yeah good job hiding your disappointment.

"Actually I probably should get going, it's getting late and you most likely have work tomorrow?"

"I do, yeah... Thanks so much for your help and the wine" I try my best at a fake smile.

"See you Friday?" he asks and I almost answer that no we won't see each other on Friday and that the date is off since he's obviously not single and I don't date men who aren't single, but I also don't want to explain to him that I kind of listened to a private conversation of his so I just choke out a "hmm yeah, see you Friday" before closing the door behind him.

Chapter 3

[ryuichirou]

Piss-related questions

I could have named this post “latest comic related questions” or “toilet related questions” or even “urinating habits related questions” (piss headcanons??), but I just know I’ll never get an opportunity to name anything “piss-related questions” ever in my life again, so I’ll indulge myself this time.

But yeah, if you sent me an ask about our latest comic, I’ll reply to you here!

But first I want to mention that I’m super happy with how much you liked it. We had a completely shit-posting discussion about everything that’s going on in this comic after another piss-related comic we posted some time ago, so it’s kind of a sequel to that. I honestly thought that we wouldn’t do anything with it, because we, as always, have too much other stuff to draw, but we were having a really bad day and making a stupid comic felt like the only thing that was meant to happen that day (and I was emotionally incapable of drawing anything good).

We love making stupid stuff. And it’s always fun when other people find it funny lol

Alright, let’s boogie

Anonymous asked:

They literally just went to the comfort room just while Idia about to go his business XD. Also imagine that Azul, Jade, and Floyd only doing it because they are in the ocean and who knows where they did it. I feel like Ortho is glad he doesn't have to experience this problem from them given how insane they are doing it. Ruggie make sense given his environment.

Ortho really told Idia’s bottle-pissing secret to the worst people possible, the entire school knew about it after just 2 minutes lol Normally they would keep a secret to use it as blackmail, but the Tweels found it way too hilarious, and Azul found it way too scandalous to ignore…

Jade and Floyd really are kind of chaotic because of their oceanic background, but Azul really tries to be a proper good land-boy!

I want to make a joke about Savanaclaw boys having interesting habits in general, but I’ll stop myself.

And Ortho, well… he really is glad, he recorded a lot of useful data that day. Unfortunately. 😔

marisunnycest asked:

i love how vil's art style become simpler as he utters shameful, it really describe a deep feeling of i can't believe that guy is a house warden while pissing on bottles

Yessss lol Vil is SO DISAPPOINTED… He really felt powerless for a moment there.

Anonymous asked:

THE SINK?? JADE???

Wink wink

And the best thing? Everyone is going to think that it was Floyd who did it.

Anonymous asked:

I gotta know now....did Silver take after his father's unique bathroom philosophy....are Sebek and Malleus too prim for the shower....

Stay strong, Anon, I’m here, I’m with you.

Unfortunately, it’s very likely that Silver shares his father’s unique bathroom philosophy, as much as a lot of other things in life… He probably used to have an outhouse when he lived in the forest though, but then again, he also had the entire forest. “Remember, Silver, the world is your urinal” – Lilia Mufasa Vanrouge, possibly.

But Silver also doesn’t like it when Lilia pees in bottles. This just doesn’t feel right, so he’ll likely try to discipline his father about this…

Sebek has parents that taught him good manners though, so he would never… admit to it, but he does pee in the shower sometimes. But he’d be super ashamed to admit it.

Malleus doesn’t do it in the shower, and he is aware of Lilia’s philosophy. Just another Lilia-related thing for him to sigh about…

Anonymous asked:

The toilet/shower/(sink?!) comic is a lot haha! But now I wonder if Kalim uses the toilet, the shower or Jamil-? (Forgive me Jamil for making your life more miserable in my head)

I’m sorry, Anon! But also, thanks, I’m happy! lol

I see what you did there, and I wink back at you because yes, Jamil is a very nice alternative indeed. I’m not even sure if this is a kinky scenario or a completely cursed one… either could work terrifyingly well with these two lol

To answer your question, Kalim, surprisingly, uses the toilet. He doesn’t think twice about these things, this is just what he is used to! He is also a little bit squeamish sometimes at very random moments.

But then again, he has his own golden urinal in his dorm, of course he’s going to use it.

I actually drew Kalim-Jamil comic about this exact topic today…

Anonymous asked:

This question keeps haunting me ever since I saw your latest comic so here we go: where the heck does Lilia pee? (somehow I'm both curious and scared of the answer lol)

Anywhere and everywhere he finds convenient, Anon~ We’ll never know the full list, and this is truly for the best.

But he does share Idia’s habit of pissing in bottles and cans when he’s too busy or lazy. And if you try to address that, he’ll just say that he is used to way worse and that kids these days are way too precious about these things.

One person in our twitter comments also hinted that Lilia uses Idia and... yes

Anonymous asked:

real talk though, "sink" is such a valid answer. hear me out

I knew it. I knew we would find at least one person who would use a sink lol

Well, sink is just a very tall bidet… in a way… if you squint…

[gallawitchxx]

hi hello good afternoon, apparently i have a lot of feeling about this gifset--which shows mickey on the toilet being yelled at by mandy ("you know you're the reason that he left, so go find him."), next to mickey finding a glittering, feather boa-clad ian dancing on a john at the club--and apparently i am going to share them with you now:

there are a plethora of things at play here: a tangled web of nature and nurture, cruelty and circumstance. differing perceptions of reality. some bad behavior, sure. heartbreak, certainly. but there's a lot going on that can't just be boiled down to mickey hurt ian, so ian became a sex worker, the reality of which also hurts mickey.

still, the inciting incident is mickey getting married. publicly. after years of privately being with ian.

a door had been opened between them, and before that day, it had remained unlocked. yes, there were juvie stints and barbs thrown. mickey shut the door time and time again, but he also kept on knocking. barreling on through with brash bravado and a little bit of a death wish, too.

but his marriage put a lock on the door in a way there had never been before. not even immediately after they got caught by terry. ian had kept coming around, kept showing up, wanting to see if mickey was okay, wanting them to be in that experience together.

then, the wedding. oh god, the wedding. ian really thought his plan worked. he came in, he pleaded, he got through to him--mickey initiated the kiss, after all--and then he fucked him good and hard until mickey was pleased. he was so hopeful, smoking that cigarette, asking if the plan was to run away together...

and mickey'd said no. he said, no deal. he went upstairs and made a vow. picked a point of view. locked up the door between them, and swallowed the key. he might not have seen it that way ("if she's gonna be out there banging dudes, why can't i?"), but ian sure did. it was case closed.

so ian went to the army, where his mania only increased. he must've felt so out of control. so big, and yet so small. untethered. and when things got too wild, he went in the direction of tried and true, desperate to find something in drugs, and booze, and older men, and flashing lights, and desire. an openness maybe, too--an egregious flaunting of want--that had not only been denied to him before, but that he'd made to feel foolish and stupid to want. to need. to believe would be possible.

so sure. you could draw a pretty straight line from mickey's wedding to mickey finding ian in that club. but it's also a whole lot more devastating than just that. for this doesn't even account for the living hell that mickey was in being married to, and supposedly fathering a kid with, a woman that had been used by his own dad to violate him in the most hateful of ways; separated from the only person who'd ever known him and wanted him; and fucking trapped.

it's all so fucking sad.

it's also not even the middle of their story, let alone the end.

those fuckers end up together.

there's another wedding, too. one that's bright, and shiny, and mickey's in white, and everyone's smiling.

[random-conspiracy]

Hot take of the day:

I think my only ick with cannibalism is that it's very nasty and you can't have your cake and eat it ahashahsa.

For context, my family used to breed sheep and we had a small restaurant, so I'm familiar with the process of killing and eviscerating a big creature. You need to tie up the sheep because obviously is about to die and then you cut its throat so it can bleed and eventually pass away. Is it the best way? I'm not sure I was 8, but it's a long and probably harmless way, a very visual allegoric hourglass.

Now you need to hang the body from the ceiling and do a incision from the neck to the genitals, exposing the ribcage under the fat and skin. And oh boy! This is the big deal, because now its time to open the ribcage and let all the sweet stuff fall down (in a bucket if you're not doing this just for funsies ahshasa).

And this is my ick with cannibalism: The sheep had no time to digest anything, the intestines and digestive sacks are still full of forage, acid and shit and IT'S NASTY AS FUCK. That's just the obvious stuff, then you have other jewels in the mud like the gallbladder (we used to yeet it as far away as we could into the field).

If you ever think about eating intestines or anything at all you need to clean them VERY GOOD and it's hard work. My father was the butcher, my mother cleaned the guts and taking care of the intestines and stomach is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. All the shit and food waste, washed away.

I'm all money into cannibalism but if you're flappy hands all happy into eating a guy straight up from ground you need to make peace with cropophagy because you're gonna taste some shit ashhsa. Yeah, the human body has not enough fat or muscle to even make a decent steak so you're not even playing that card, you must go for the organs.

And yeah yeah, we all want to romantic symbolism of eating the heart (even when it's fucking impossible to eat the heart because it's like chewing gum but okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk I guesssssssss), then you go for the lungs and the liver. But honestly, that's it. You don't even touch the intestines or the stomach if you're too comfortable with cannibalism but draw the line at cropophagy ahshshasa.

Hannibal Lecter is the prime example in the other side of the coin, because he KNOWWWWWWS, like he may indulge in some pedestriam eating but com'on hashasadhasa. He kills, he cleans, he cooks. He's absolutely not eating shit because he's too good for casual raw meat. But then, what is the point?

"It was no chicken" Like yeah, don't you say dubfuck but it COULD had been chicken you know? ahsahsha. That's the issue. "This burger has human meat" yes, but's its a burger not different from any other. What's the point here of it being made with human flesh?? The LOLs? No one cares.

At least Lecter is a cuisine master, and can get the morbid x delicious mix right in the point, but if we're serious how well do you know how to cook? And remember we are not talking about your all purpose beef, we're talking about guts. How well can you cook some liver or some stomach in your mid kitchen where you don't even use the oven that much?

The real art here is the bestial consumption of tacking down your prey and ruminate flesh brom bones, soaking wet in blood.

And you must be mentalized for some shit ahshahsasa. (Also, you were absolutely right about it, what's the deal with sacred cannibalism. "Oh, I love you so much I need to eat you and integrate you as a part of me" No, you're not ashahsas. You're shitting all of it in some hours. What a fucking act of devotion idiot ahahsa, shitting the vessel of your love straigh into the toilet, you could do some stuffing idk).

Anyway, what's the conclusion here?

You can't be picky if you're a cannibal. Well, you CAN but com'on. Lecter is not gonna fuck you.

Lungs are the best organs. You stab those little guys, inflate them with water and boom! A cute fountain! They expand like balloons.

[your-divine-ribs]

No Nut November Part 2

Words: 4.2k

Warnings: SMUT! Van asks you to sit on his face. No plot whatsoever, just porn - I’m going to hell for writing this story it’s so dirty I’m sorry ha ha 🫣😂

Imagines Masterlist Main Masterlist

Read Part 1

November starts off cold and wintry with fat, heavy raindrops lashing against Van's window and the wind whistling dramatically, awakening you from your sleep. Or maybe it's not the inclement weather that's disturbed your slumber, but something else.

You'd fallen asleep with Van's arm draped over your waist and you're surprised that it's still there. He's normally a restless sleeper, changing up his sleeping position frequently in the night. You'll often wake with him halfway down the bed, his body twisted at a bizarre angle, but the fact that he's snuggled in so close to you, head nuzzled into the back of your neck, body pressed up against you, tells you that he's already awake. That, and the sensation of something rock-hard digging into your ass.

"You awake?" You mumble groggily.

"Nuh-uh," comes the reply, and you feel him inch even closer, his fingers slipping under the cami top of your pyjamas, lightly brushing your skin.

"Liar," you giggle, wriggling a little at the ticklish sensation. This is how it usually starts. Tentative touches, featherlight fingertips tracing patterns on your skin, shivering you through with goosebumps. Next it'll be whispered words in your ear, the warmth of his breath on your neck, soft kisses scattered lazily across any available expanse of bare skin. Sometimes you'll feign resistance just to prolong his sweet advances. Sometimes you'll give in straight away, turning around in his arms and crashing your lips into his.

But today is different altogether. It's November after all.

"Mmm... babe..." he murmurs, his lips connecting with your bare shoulder, his hand gently caressing the soft skin of your belly.

"Ye-es?"

You draw out the word, smiling to yourself as you feel him pushing his hips gently against you. Another kiss is pressed to your shoulder.

"I had this amazing dream last night..."

You can hear the grin in his voice as he speaks.

"Oh yeah? What happened?"

"Well... you were in it. And you were bloody insatiable. It was like you were sex-crazed! You couldn't keep your hands off me. You were ripping my clothes off and everything!"

You laugh. "Sounds like a nightmare!"

"Fuck was it... it was the best dream I've ever had. Reckon it's because of our hook up in the pub toilets. Ya know it was dead sexy when ya took control like that."

You push your bum back into Van's hips, hear him sigh in appreciation. You probably shouldn't be teasing him but you can't resist it. It's only day one of course so he should be absolutely fine. He's only got another twenty-nine to go after he's made it through this one.

"Oh, you liked it did you?"

"I loved it, I wish you did it more." Then he adds quickly "I mean I'm not complaining about how we usually do it. It was just hot... really hot."

His voice is low and throaty and he plants another kiss on your shoulder, wetter and more lingering this time, his lips dragging over your skin. You can still feel his rock-hard cock pressing into your bum and his hips move again, subtly grinding into you.

You remember Van once telling you that there was a reason for his usual early morning horniness, something about hormone surges on waking. You'd just laughed and joked and asked him when he wasn't in the mood. Again you wonder how he ever thought he'd be able to last for a whole month without blowing his load.

"Does it turn you on then?" You ask, feeling the glow of your own arousal start to bloom at the feel of his warm body pressed up against yours just so.

"Mmm... yeah," he sighs, his hands moving upwards over your ribs, fingertips just brushing the underside of your breasts. "I'm turned on now just thinking about it... massively."

You bite back another giggle. "I did kinda notice. Got woken up by your massive boner digging into my ass, didn't I?"

"Can't help it after that dream. Can't get it out of my head now. Maybe we could like act it out or something? I'll let ya do whatever ya want to me?”

His voice raises up hopefully at the end like he thinks his sordid offer will be enough to make you give in to his advances, and to be honest it usually would be, but you marvel at the fact that he might have already forgotten the challenge he eagerly accepted just the night before.

You roll over on to your back and then keep going until your body's angled towards him, propping yourself up on an elbow so you can look down on him, smirking to yourself at the prominent bulge straining against his boxers.

"You forgetting something Van?"

You raise your eyebrows at him questioningly, placing a palm flat against his chest, feeling the steady pounding of his heart. He looks gorgeous anytime, but you can't help but think how irresistible he looks right now, his sleep-tousled mousy brown hair splayed out on the pillow, his full pink lips moistened as he licks at them with a thoughtful expression.

"What... it's not like an important day or something is it and I've gone and forgotten?"

He looks mildly panicked for a second and you frown at him. "How drunk were you last night?"

This just makes his puzzlement grow. "I wasn't that bad, I mean yeah, I'd had a few... more than a few, we both had... but I remember everything perfectly. Not gonna forget last night in a hurry though am I love?"

His lips pull into a grin as he trails his fingers over the waistband of your pyjama shirts, dipping lightly inside. You reciprocate by sliding your own hand down over his chest, then his ribs and the small swell of his tummy, stopping at the elastic of his boxers, tugging it with your fingers.

"I'm not talking about the sex, I'm talking about the... errr... agreement we made. You're not telling me you've forgotten about it already are you?"

Now he looks really confused, his brow furrowing into a comical expression.

"Jeez Van... talk about short term memory loss... or maybe it's just selective."

"I don't know what..." he begins but then he stops, abruptly, realisation dawning on him as the memory comes trickling back to him. His fingers instantly still their sensual dance on your hips.

"Oh god... I've remembered now... that bloody no nut thing. Seriously? We're really gonna do this?"

"Well..."

You smile mischievously, letting the elastic waistband of his boxers snap back lightly against his skin, running your tongue over your teeth before you catch your bottom lip, playfully seductive.

"I mean you did accept the challenge last night, but if you don't think that you're up to it..." you pause, your eyes flicking down to his obvious erection. "Umm maybe that's the wrong choice of words..."

Van looks conflicted, his competitive steak battling with his libido which just happens to be in overdrive this morning after his smutty dream.

"Ahh fuck.... what ya trying to do to me, huh? Ya trying to kill me, I swear!"

You ignore this, your hand that was toying with his underwear moving towards your own midriff, peeling the top of your pyjama shorts down to show the pink lace of your panties, tucking the tips of your fingers under the waistband, looking him right in the eye as you speak. "Of course it's only you that this applies to if you accept the challenge. I can still come... as many times as I like."

Van's brows furrow into a little peak as his mouth falls agape, his eyes pooling with desire. "You drive me crazy, ya know that? How the hell am I gonna manage the whole month with you teasing me like this?"

Your hand begins a steady descent towards your aching heat, pulsing now at the thought of a sexually frustrated Van watching you get yourself off. You'd always been so eager to give him pleasure before, hearing his needy groans and watching his face contort as he lost control, but somehow the idea of denying him that pleasure is just as much of a turn on. Especially if you get to hear him beg.

"Come on... you're not gonna fail on day one are you? I mean, I knew you'd find it tough but seriously?"

"But you're not playing fair babe," he complains, his voice tight. He can't keep his eyes off you as he watches the tell-tale movements of your hand beneath the cover of your shorts, and when a small moan slips past your lips his eyes darken all the more. "Aren't I even allowed to touch you?"

"I don't think you've been good enough," you say, dipping a fingertip inside yourself, gathering some moisture which you spread upwards over your clit, sighing deeply.

"At least let me watch," he whines, tugging at the waistband of your shorts, pulling them down, your panties slipping down at the same time as they slide down your hips. You let them go, shifting on the bed to assist him, kicking them down your legs and off as Van watches on.

"Remember no touching, yeah?" You smirk, pushing your hips forwards and spreading your legs to give him a better view as your fingertip slides over your folds, dipping again into the warm wetness between your thighs.

Van doesn't answer straight away and you see his hands stiffen as they rake at his thighs as he struggles to fight his urges.

"Fucks sake..." he groans, one of his hands wandering upwards, brushing against the bulge in his underwear, making himself shudder.

"I said no touching, okay?" You repeat, more sternly this time, and he mutters out an agreement. He looks desperate as he watches you pleasuring yourself, his eyes hooded and clouded with lust. You can tell he wants to reach out and touch you, or touch himself… but he can't do either. He's being good... obedient. This thought just makes you even hotter, wondering how far you can push him. His begging words and pleading tone from the previous night echo through your mind, arousing you even more.

"Oh god... that feels so good," you murmur, your words merging into a moan to demonstrate to Van exactly how good it feels as you plunge a finger into your soaking core, feeling your slickness coating it as you slide it in further and then add another finger, beginning to pump them in and out at a slow pace.

It feels amazing, but as pleasurable as it is, it's nothing like when Van touches you. You gaze longingly at his hands which are now clenching into fists and then flexing open as he fights to control himself. His fingers are so long and skilful and he knows your body so well that he can usually bring you to the peak of climaxing within minutes.

"Wanna touch you so bad," he whines. "Or myself. Not sure if I can take this."

You ignore him, increasing your efforts, your fingers sliding over your drenched flesh, the other hand rising up to push up your top, pinching and tugging at your stiffened nipples. You're so close.

"Think I'm gonna come soon," you moan breathily, arching your back as you start to feel small swells of pleasure radiating from deep down, your breathing getting ragged and urgent now.

Van looks the picture of desperation, his eyes darting about wildly, flicking between your face to your breasts to between your legs on a continuous cycle, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he gets more and more turned on. Seeing him yearning for you like this is a dream, you feel powerful and in control and your mind starts to wander, imagining how you might punish him if he gives in... no... when he gives in. There's absolutely no way he's going to manage to last all month. You just know it.

"But I wanna make you come," he suddenly blurts, his voice choked and hoarse, thick with desire. "Please Y/N. Even if I can't come at least let me touch you. I really wanna touch you, wanna kiss every inch of you. Wanna taste that sweet pussy of yours."

Fuck...

His filthy words travel straight down to your core, fanning the flames that are already burning brightly, your resistance wavering at his pleas.

"Please baby... please..."

And then before you can react he's reaching for your hand, pulling it upwards to his parted lips, his tongue flicking out to taste you, sighing a passionate appreciation as he licks your juices clean off your fingers. You're so turned on you could practically come from just watching him, your heat throbbing for a release after your attentions.

"Fucking hell Van," you murmur, your whole body feeling hot, your cheeks glowing as he looks at you with desperate, pleading eyes.

"Wanna go down on you... please. Or even better... sit on my face. Fuck... I want you to do it so bad. I've been dreaming about it for ages. Just 'cause I can't come doesn't mean I can't get you off does it?"

His voice rises up, high and tight, and your breath catches in your throat, your heart jumping like you've just been shocked. It's not that you're shy or a prude. Van knows every inch of your body intimately, and you think he'd probably spend hours nuzzling between your thighs if given half the chance, but there's something about his request that makes you hesitate. The act just seems so brazen, so much more intimate. You'd be completely exposed to him in a way that makes your heart pound and your cheeks flush an even deeper shade of scarlet. But you'd be completely in control and the thought thrills you, imagining him lying beneath you whilst you use him entirely for your own pleasure.

"I want to... it's just..."

You pause, mind scrambling, not being able to think straight as Van tugs at your top, pulling it up over your head as you raise your arms up to allow him.

"Just... what...?"

He doesn't wait for an answer, leaning forward to capture your lips with his. You can taste the slight tang of your arousal on him and it ignites your passion even more and you hook a leg eagerly over his waist, grinding yourself against him. You feel a slight wetness on his boxers and you're not sure if it's from you or if he's so turned on he's leaking pre-cum already.

"Fuck babe... you can't do that," he croaks out in a strangled whisper as he pulls away. "That's not bloody fair. Come on, climb up. Let me take care of you. You trust me right?"

"Of course I do," you reply. "It's just that what if... what if..." you hesitate, giggling as you know the words are ridiculous before they've even left your mouth. "What if I... suffocate you?"

Now it's Van's turn to laugh, and the sound is low and deep, rumbling in his chest. "Course you're not gonna suffocate me love... and if ya do... well I can think of worse ways to go!"

You both laugh then, but Van's laugh dies away quickly, his eagerness to taste you taking over, pushing himself back and away from you, taking his position flat on his back a short distance from the headboard. He beckons with his hands and an earnest look in his eyes, full of heat and lust. You glance down at his plush pink lips as he licks at them, filthy images running through your head about how they'll make you feel. You know then that you can't wait any longer.

You pull yourself up to a sitting, then a kneeling position, fingers grasping the headboard. Your cheeks are aflame, but it's not the only part of you. You're positive you'll actually burst into flames the way that Van's looking at you, his eyes fixed firmly on your already glistening pussy as you tentatively raise up a leg to move across him, straddling his shoulders and resting yourself on his chest. You're self-conscious as you feel your wetness connect with his bare skin, but the friction makes you groan nevertheless.

You look down on him lying there, so eager to please, and your eyes meet briefly before they flick away, back to your heat. His tongue darts out to moisten his lips again and you feel excitement lurch in your belly at the anticipation.

"Come on," he urges, fingers curling keenly around your thighs, trying to lever you forward. "You look so good like this. Wanna fuck you with my tongue."

You lift yourself up, meaning to manoeuvre yourself into place, but you don't get chance. Van's grip on your thighs tightens, clamping on with force, pulling you down towards him, his breath fanning hot on your thighs.

"Van!" You gasp out loud, resisting for all of about two seconds before you let yourself sink lower. You don't have much choice in the matter anyway, he's much too strong, but in any case as you feel his lips connect with the flesh of your inner thighs, pressing warm, wet open-mouthed kisses there you're a lost cause.

You screw your eyes shut, feeling the sensation of his tongue as he licks a long, thick stripe right up your centre and you can't hold back the loud groan that erupts from you. Your eyes flick open to look down on him where you find his eyes on yours, looking right back as he sets to work, tongue flicking over your clit, laving at it like you're the most delicious thing he's ever tasted. A moan of pleasure and appreciation falls from him, sending vibrations right through your core. You almost come undone there and then from his unwavering eye contact which just heightens everything, your body flooding with heat.

"Fucking hell," you breathe, feeling his grip tighten vice-like on your thighs, dragging your hips down even further. You hadn't realised that you were holding back, your body taut, bracing your legs to allow him some space, but it soon becomes clear that he doesn't need or want that space. He wants you closer, as close and you can be. He wants the sensation of your slick core on his face, quite literally smothering him, and who are you to deny him... especially when it feels so good.

"Relax babe," he splutters out, pulling away momentarily. "Let me take care of ya."

So you do.

And then it's not just his tongue, but his lips too, even his nose rubs deliciously against your clit as he licks and sucks at every part of you, impassioned moans emitting from him as he works you over. It's quite possibly the most heavenly sensation you've ever experienced, and you feel your self-consciousness dissipate like your soul leaving your body, evaporating away, leaving nothing but your want and your need, and your desperate desire to get yourself off. You press your hips forward, eager for more, grinding against his face.

His fingers are digging deep furrows into the flesh of your thighs, holding you steady. It's like he can't get enough of you, like he means to drown in you. The sights, the sounds and the heady scent of you overwhelming him, intoxicating him as he delves his tongue inside you, lapping up your juices.

You gasp his name again, feeling the coil in your gut winding tight, threatening to snap. His tongue drags over every fold and dip, exploring you fervently. You're so wet now from your arousal and his saliva that you can hear the lewd noises his mouth makes on you, wet, smacking noises that mix with your urgent whimpers and his groans, a symphony of sound that drives you into a frenzy. You push your hips back and forth to increase the blissful friction, and you dimly wonder how you ever felt self-conscious.

"Oh god!" You almost howl as his tongue flicks over a particularly sensitive part, and he hones in on your pleasure, pursing his lips around your bud and sucking until you're almost seeing stars. Every little movement he makes feels more intense in this position, increased by the undulation of your own hips, giving you the control to guide the bliss flowing through you.

"I’m so close!" You gasp out, feeling your body tighten, every single fibre of you screaming out for your release.

You feel Van shift beneath you, his fingers flexing on your thighs, and you ease up your pressure, rising up slightly to look down on him as he breaks away briefly. He looks an absolute vision lying there, smile stretched wide across his lips which are glossy from your arousal, as is his nose and chin, in fact every part of his face, his cheeks flushed and his eyes darkened with a glaze of lust and desire. He's panting slightly.

"Are you okay?" You ask, suddenly aware how unequal all of this is, trying to imagine how turned on he must be and for once you have no intention of returning the favour, a dark part of you actually enjoying this notion.

"Yeah, yeah," he murmurs, like he's in some kind of trance, looking up at you with awe. "Want you to come all over my face Y/N. C’mon… I wanna taste ya so bad.”

And even as the words leave his lips, he's pulling you down again in a sharp movement which catches you by surprise, almost making you lose your balance as your slick heat presses against him once more. This time you chase your high, bucking against him at exactly the right spot, using him like he wants to be used, each thrust of your hips bringing you closer to your peak.

"Fuck... fuck... FUCK!" You hiss out, the coil in your gut finally snapping, a blissful wave of euphoria washing over you, your legs trembling and your whole frame shaking. One hand drops down to his hair where you grab a fistful, tugging it harshly at the roots, the other gripping the headboard so tightly that your knuckles turn white.

You can feel your thighs tensing involuntarily as they squeeze around Van's head as you ride out the high of one of the most intense orgasms you've ever experienced. It takes you a while to come back down to earth, finally falling to the side in a heap on the mattress as you do, your legs reduced to jelly. Van lies next to you, panting to catch his breath, blissful grin stretched ear to ear like it does when he knows he's fully satisfied you and you almost feel sorry for him when you glance down to see the painfully hard erection tenting his boxers. Almost... but not quite.

"That was amazing love," he sighs. "Fucking 'ell though, I'm so turned on I almost came in my pants!"

Then he tips his body on to the side, propping himself up on an elbow, wiping your cum from his mouth on the back of his hand. "How was it for you?"

He beams at you and you grin back, still feeling that hazy post-orgasm bliss. "So good, I don't think I can even walk now. My legs have turned to mush!" You giggle, mirroring his position, reaching out a hand to drape it over his waist.

"You're fucking amazing you know," you purr. You lean your body into his, raising up your leg again to wrap over his hip. "I'm such a lucky girl."

You're aware that your body is connecting with Van in just the right place... or should that be the wrong place... but you're in the mood to tease, fully sated now as you are. Despite Van's earlier protestations about playing fair no ground rules were set last night, so as far as you're concerned it's fair game.

"Mmm... you are," he agrees, a shudder passing through him as you softly grind your core against his hard dick, your hard nipples pressing up against his bare chest. Then you see his features darken. "But you're also a very bad girl."

"Me?" Your voice is soft, the picture of innocence, pretending you're not aware of the effect that you're having on him.

"Yes... you," he almost groans, pushing your leg down, untangling himself from your arms with determination. "I know what you're trying to do and I'm not losing this challenge. I'm strong, I can do this. You just wait and see."

His tone is tenacious and you're quite surprised. You can see his pained expression as he tries unsuccessfully to adjust the bulge in his boxers, frowning at the damp patch which has definitely grown. He gets to his feet, still grimacing, forcing a challenging smile as he looks down on you lying there, naked and inviting.

"Where are you going?"

He huffs animatedly. "Bloody cold shower. What do you think?"

A loud laugh forces it way free and he smirks sarcastically at you before he turns to leave the room. "We'll see who's laughing shall we when I win this challenge and then I get to do anything that I like to you."

"Not happening Van," you shake your head even though he's walking away. "Not happening. Get ready for your punishment!”

"We'll see about that," is his reply.

"Yes we will," you smirk to yourself, wicked plans swirling through your head. "And no wanking when you're in there remember!"

Part 3

[frogxxam]

game grumps fav quotes masterlist

this post will be compiling every quote that makes me brain go brr, the videos are not included bc i am lazy

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"It's Clifford the big red stab wound" - Dan

just the entire brain juice clip

"[As Monika] Shutting down" - Arin

arin saying "motherfucking" in the middle of a sentence and dan completing it with "jesse eisenberg"

the entire thruth seeker power washing episode

"(paraphrased)

Dan: Well it wouldnt have happened today cus I'm rocking that manbun because it's 180 degrees outside

Arin: Hmhum- 185

Dan: Yes- Oh yeah, I was thinking 180 because that's the angle that I took when I walked outside and was like 'nope'"

"Are you seriously? No! why? I'll miss you" - Dan as Arin is about to eat a disgusting mix of cheerios flavours

"I'm such a stupid moron why did I even born!" - Arin

"No, I was uh- lying." - Dan

"All these people… they want this cleaning dick!" - Arin

"Essentially the audio version of yassified by space bear" - Dan

"Arin: It's making my butthole quiver

Dan: That's my job!"

"Arin: It's BPA free!

Dan: Buplic bissplays of affection?"

"I've created the nipple forest!" - Dan

"You're bringing a new vessel for microplastics into the world" - Arin

"[talking about a guy who watched his family get sick]

Arin: To each his own man

Dan: What does that- that is not an appropriate time to use that-"

"Arin: Do you want to touch boobs with me?

Dan: I mean of course but I don't see what that has to do with anything going on right now"

"Ah Man! But I made so much far go process… wow" - Dan

"Oooh I feel on the toilet…" - Arin

"I am merely a vessel for God's soft serve chocolate ice cream" - Dan

"Arin! I'm a motherfucking starboy, and I don't need to listen to this!" - Dan

"I know! But doesn't- don't the people want the best of the world- hold on [laughs]" - Arin

"I've been hearing the term 'serving c word' lately, I don't fully know what it means" - Dan

"DID I MAKE THE BEEFY TEA?" - Dan

"THATS ARIN IM DAN THERE IS NO GOD THIS IS SONIC HEROES" - Dan

"[Quoting Arin] Sonic Heroes: Life can't always be good!" - Dan

"[Talking about being secretly in love with Sonic] I'm like god! I show my love in mysterious ways!" - Arin

"PUT DOWN THE PHONE, AND FUCKING GAME GRUMPS!" - Arin

"Cheetahs have stripes that go in a circle" - Arin

"Do you think I came out the pussy drawing fucking Mozart?" - Arin

"Show me your Math Dick, I wanna suck it" - Arin to Dan

"There's gotta be religion to the fact that God hates me!" - Dan, after losing a turn in Wheel of Fortune

"Arin: What's up Princey-Paysas!

Dan: How you doin' Pooplers! We're play- we're playing Pooplers."

"Arin: I'm a toilet boy. I'm a toilet boy.

Dan: [in the starboy mellody] I'm a motherfucking toilet boy~"

"Arin: I can't believe you! The power that you possess within that intestinal tract

Dan: Thanks, god- if only it were this easy in real life"

"[About Weird Al]

Dan: But, like, it's okay uh- we're still buds, and he sends us Christmas cards every now and then

Arin: That's true- Every now and then? Every Christmas!

Dan: Christmas, mostly. Yeah."

"You're sawd?! I'm the one who has to move the sticks around! You just get to hang out on bed! I'm over here moving buttons!" - Arin

"Let's fucking go-varies!" - Dan

"You know, all it takes to make a dungeon into a sex dungeon is a little bit of planning" - Brian

"That cake is sus" - Dan

"Theres not a dry spot on my pants anymore" - Arin

"You know what I call my beard? A chin-chilla" - Arin

"Dan: Uhm- Some times you just like- Drive things home, by like, sort of finding another way say the same thing you know what I mean?

Arin: Yea

Dan: Like- Man this place is full of guys I'd like to fuck and Your Dad!"

"I would marry cheese if I could" - Arin

"Cut my life in two cheeks" - Dan

"Arin: Can you hear the baby kicking?

Dan: The ass baby?"

"Oh my god he's hot again" - Arin, about Ganon

"[Beat boxing] Fourgive me, fivegive me" - Arin