#yes i know i havent updated this series in WELL over a year what of it

[squireofgeekdom]

<falls on floor, raises arm in triumph> i think... i think i have a full draft of the whole believe au

[its-avalon-08]

hearts intertwined (hamilton x sister! driver!rosberg) p14

chapter 14: double agent

series masterlist

avaspeaks - im so so so so so sorry i havent updated this series in so long. requests are taking up so much time! here you go anyway, pt14!

Y/N and Nico sat in the quiet comfort of her Miami apartment, the city lights twinkling outside the window. The post-race buzz had faded, leaving a comfortable silence in its wake. They'd been reminiscing about their childhood, sharing stories of pranks pulled on unsuspecting neighbors and the countless races they'd staged down their suburban street.

Nico had a smile on his face, a shadow flickering across his features. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the sound of the gentle waves lapping against the shore providing a soothing backdrop.

Finally, Y/N broke the silence. "Nico," she began, her voice hesitant, "there's something I need to ask."

Nico met her gaze, a flicker of apprehension crossing his features. "What is it, Y/N?"

"Lewis," she started, then took a deep breath. "Do you… do you ever think about fixing things with him?"

Nico's smile vanished. The question hung heavy in the air, a silent echo of years of unspoken tension. A muscle twitched in his jaw, and Y/N sensed the turmoil simmering beneath his calm exterior.

"Lewis," he finally choked out, his voice thick with emotion. "Every time I see him, Y/N… every time I hear his name, it's like a punch to the gut. We were… we were more than teammates. We were friends. Brothers, almost."

He paused, his gaze averted, lost in the memories that flooded back. "The rivalry… it consumed us, Y/N. It poisoned everything. We pushed each other to our limits, yes, but at what cost? We lost each other in the process."

Tears welled up in his eyes, his voice cracking with raw emotion. Y/N's heart ached for him. The rivalry everyone else saw as thrilling competition, she witnessed firsthand as a slow, agonizing erosion of a once strong bond.

Without a word, she reached out and squeezed his hand, her touch a silent display of understanding and support. "I know, Nico. I know."

He leaned into her touch, his voice a mere whisper. "We were so focused on winning, on proving ourselves, that we forgot what truly mattered. The joy of racing, the camaraderie… and most importantly, our friendship."

Y/N listened patiently, her presence a balm to his emotional wounds. As Nico spoke, the pain of the past seemed to seep out of him, a heavy weight finally lifted.

"Maybe… maybe one day," Nico said, wiping away a stray tear, "we can try to rebuild what was lost. But for now… for now, it still hurts too much."

Y/N offered him a comforting smile. "I understand, Nico. But at least now you've spoken it out loud. That's the first step, right?"

Nico nodded, a flicker of hope returning to his eyes. He squeezed her hand, a silent thank you for her unwavering support.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the beach, a newfound understanding bloomed between them. The path to reconciliation might be long and arduous, but the first seed had been sown. Perhaps, one day, the bitter rivalry that had driven a wedge between Lewis and Nico could be replaced by something stronger, something akin to the friendship they once shared.

switching sides (y/n is such a menace)

Stepping out of her room for a breath of fresh air, Y/N's eyes landed on a solitary figure silhouetted against the moonlit Miami skyline. It was Lewis, perched on the hotel balcony, a bottle of beer dangling precariously in his hand.

Curiosity piqued, Y/N walked over, the oversized Red Bull racing shirt hanging loosely on her frame, barely concealing the shorts underneath.

"Lewis?" she called out softly.

He looked up, startled, then a flicker of a smile crossed his face. "Y/N. Shouldn't you be getting some rest?"

"I could say the same to you," she countered, leaning against the railing. "Care if I join you?"

Lewis gestured to the empty space beside him. "Of course. Want a beer?"

Y/N shook her head. "Not tonight. Just wanted some company."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the rhythmic hum of the city below providing a backdrop for their unspoken thoughts.

Finally, Lewis spoke, his voice tinged with a hint of melancholy. "The race was… intense."

Y/N chuckled. "Understatement of the century, wouldn't you say?"

A smile played on his lips. "You pushed me hard, Y/N. More than anyone else on the grid."

Her cheeks flushed. "Just doing my job," she said, though a playful glint danced in her eyes.

The air crackled with a sudden awareness. Gone was the tension from earlier; in its place, a comfortable familiarity bloomed between them.

They reminisced about past races, shared stories, and laughed at each other's jokes. As the conversation flowed, a new vulnerability seemed to emerge in Lewis's voice.

Lewis smiled, but a shadow lingered in his eyes. "Speaking of friendships," Y/N continued, her voice dropping to a quieter tone, "do you… do you ever think about fixing things with Nico?"

The question hung heavy in the air, the weight of years of rivalry pressing down on them. Lewis's posture stiffened, his jaw clenching tight.

"Nico," he finally said, his voice raspy. "It's… complicated. The competition, the pressure… it drove a wedge between us. I don't even know where to begin."

Y/N listened intently as Lewis stared out at the moonlit cityscape, his voice low and strained. "It started subtly, Y/N. Back in the early days, when we were both hungry rookies, pushing each other made us better. We thrived on the competition."

He took a swig from his beer, the clink echoing in the quiet night. "But as the wins started piling up, the rivalry became… obsessive. Every race was a battle, not just between us and the other drivers, but between us two. We'd analyze each other's moves, scrutinize each other's tactics, it was relentless."

A bitter smile played on his lips. "We both started questioning every interaction, wondering if it was genuine or just another mind game. The trust, the camaraderie, it slowly eroded, replaced by suspicion and a constant need to prove ourselves as the better driver."

Y/N's heart ached for them. "Did you ever try… talking about it?"

Lewis shook his head, his gaze filled with regret. "Ego got in the way. We were both so focused on winning, so determined to dominate the sport, that admitting our insecurities felt… like a weakness."

He let out a humorless chuckle. "The irony, of course, is that the intense rivalry ended up weakening us both. We lost sight of the joy of racing, the thrill of the competition. All that remained was a bitter animosity."

Y/N leaned against the railing, her voice a soft murmur. "It sounds like you both let the competition consume you. Forgot what truly mattered."

Lewis nodded, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. "We did. And the worst part? The media loved it. They fueled the fire, turning our rivalry into a spectacle for the fans. It was a constant reminder of the friendship we were destroying, brick by agonizing brick."

He turned to Y/N, a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes. "Maybe… maybe if we had just stopped, talked about what was happening… things could have been different. We might have saved our friendship."

Y/N saw the pain flicker across his face, a flicker she recognized all too well from her own conversations with Nico.

"Maybe," she said, stepping closer to him, "maybe just a conversation. A chance to acknowledge what went wrong. It won't erase the past, but it could be a start."

Before Lewis could respond, Y/N surprised him by engulfing him in a tight hug. The unexpected gesture took his breath away, but then he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair.

A single tear escaped his eye, tracing a warm path down her cheek. In that moment, a million unspoken words hung between them - apologies, regrets, and a yearning for something that had been lost.

Y/N held him closer, her heart aching for the pain that had fractured their bond. "It's okay, Lewis," she whispered. "It's never too late to try."

They stood there for a long time, two souls seeking solace in the quiet embrace of the night. The moon cast a soft glow on them, a silent witness to the tentative steps towards a reconciliation that stretched far beyond the confines of a racetrack rivalry.

The future remained uncertain, but for the first time, a flicker of hope had ignited, a spark of redemption for the fractured relationships that had haunted them for far too long.

exclusive feature! here's a talk with y/n---

author - y/n why are you meddling with brocedes?

y/n - cause it gives you a banger chapter 15

author - fair enough, continue <3

y/n - you have no idea what is about to hit you! ly

credits for gif - @lewishamiltongifs

taglist: @laura-naruto-fan1998 , @xoscar03 , @torossosebs , @jajouska , @lindsayjoy444 , @barcelonaloverf1life , @charli123456789, @heyheyheyggg

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

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[speakofthedebbie]

you (read: i) asked so you shall recieve: radioapple fic recs august 2024 update!!

the following are the ones from the last post w/some minor changes (think: misspellings and even more osas praising) (sorry for the re-tags!!):

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 4 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic. has the same vibe as bedtime rituals, but it is NOT a sequel

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

if youre even half the radioapple fanatic i am and havent read this, literally what are you doing?? i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, with some daily compliments sprinkled along the way, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i foam at the mouth every friday

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. lilith is particularly an asshole even tho we havent seen her yet (or maybe we have. idr, mightve chatted with al) also emily is there (fallen) and has a lil smth to do with als and liliths deal. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6-7 (rosies words) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s(30s?) au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and mimzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent off for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

new recs below!! ↓↓

Alastor and Lucifer do whatever the Hell this is (series) by Vagabond_Sloth (personally asked, no Tumblr, but they might make one 👀)

i know this is radioapple fic rec post but... *cough* Husk and Angel do a Romance for some soft huskerdust *cough* anyway- basically, a perplexing flower arrangement leads to a blossoming something between the resident radio demon and king of hell. seriously, its some good shit, and the author is really nice!

A Compliment A Day by @decembercamiecherries

spinning this around in my head at all times

basically, a classic "charlie makes al and luci compliment each other as a bonding excessive" but it does not disappoint (check out her other three radioapple fics too)

a lovely night (lalaland is that you??) and pancakes, small talk by @mirotic_chess (X Twitter account)

in a lovely night they do a lil dancey dancey and in pancakes, small talk luci makes some pancakes!!

Sin and Sentiment and Time On My Hands by demon_fawn (supposed Tumblr leads to a dead end)

oh my god future debs here and i am so fucking tired of doing these descriptions but. um. the plot for sin and sentiment def seems very interesting and time on my hands is an incomplete (but good!) attempt at radioapple week. hmm not sure if they still post bc the most recent update was july 12th

honestly just every radioapple fic by @otoshigo (i think ive read all but Forbidden Fruit of the Poisonous Tree)

if you look underneath the little island that is radioapple, on god otoshigo is one of the creators holding it up. all 19 (yes, 19. we eatin good tonight [excluding forbidden fruit]) of their radioapple fics are fantastic, buuut if i had to recommend anything specific: A Guide to the Care and Maintenance of the King of Hell (fuck count furfur!) and The Devil's Trip to the Big Apple

not to continue the trend, but basically anything by @thief-of-eggs (even the singular huskerdust) but personal recommendations: Trust and Hair Pets and Let Me Be Your Shelter (sickfics 🔛🔝)

idk if youll catch me doing the descriptions for these anymore shit was exhausting

tagging time!!!! (i want to end it all)

[jjheejz]

Just here to say thank you for explaining in length on zzh's issue. Really appreciate it. It is painful and it is hard. At times it feels like I'm grieving. Thank you again and keep safe.

This is an ongoing update about the case from start to development. List of all related posts can be found on this blog's pinned post (link provided at bottom of each post as well).

Also an update as of 22.8.21.

Update: Updated an advice to all. Added an important NOT, added J's side (keep supporting him)

Hi anon,

You're welcome! ❤️

If it helps to make you feel better, the latest update in the Entertainment Industry (from all the sources I have) is that the Official Authorities have started to look into the the issue already, specifically towards Internet Water Army(IWA) and the bodies behind them.

Background

For newcomers of this blog (if any), please browse content page here for context.

Because of the nature of his case, especially the overnight deletion, it caused a lot of people (general public) to look into this issue. Many of whom also express the same general sentiment (that his shrine case was definitely not a light one, but it does not warrant such an outcome). Some people also got to learn about the cultural (the shrines), political aspects and the industry + IWA.

However, as the internet is flooded with IWA, their influence may still skew passerby opinions, therefore, those more easily influenced/doesn't know the whole landscape public might have their own other conclusion (a factor of concern for the govt). Though, generally the logical audiences wouldn't even bother engaging with those posts in the first place, it became more like an Be Educated thing than a criticising thing.

Cause

The Officials started to step in partly because of the timely political clash of dates, this created a concern among the Officials. They literally kind of attracted the Government's attention themselves.

So shoutout to those who have asked before if the Government will do something about it, the answer is yes, they are in the midst of doing it (so sorry again to the anon whom I blanked out and deleted the ask about it too).

Still, I'm just sacarstically laughing at the whole situation. What we thought was an end was actually just another beginning, caused by those people themselves, they targeted someone, and yet it got ricocheted back at them (after being around for 10 over years).

Other impacts

Another change this case brought about, is that the Entertainment Industry landscape is getting a huge change eg. checking their celebrity's background so that the staff can better prepare to deflect any allegations etc.

What it means for him

Despite knowing this is good news, am still unsure what this entails for him. We can still wait. But knowing that even though he is not in front of the camera now, the impact of his issue is still currently generally positive, it's a funny kind of joy. His fate really is something (for those who have read my fate series about JZ).

Regarding silence 🛌

Lastly, I've been wanting to raise this but didn't know how/where to insert/didn't quite understand fully at first, the reason for being silent is that the purpose of those behind IWA (or similar terms etc) is probably (i stress again as this was a guess from the source) that there is a wave of people who wants to find out the political sentiment from the public and govt - and they are possibly NOT even govt bodies doing this kind of checks in the first place. So now they are trying to use JZ fans as a shield to avoid the authorities from coming to them (through J as well) - a line of thought.

That's why don't click into any videos/posts/trends (eg. Bilibili, twitter, weibo, zhihu etc) because they can all be collected as data.

Same advice as usual, ignore. WOH is still up on Youku, J is still working, work/studies & life is still a part of your life.

Stay silent, and live life to the fullest. 🌻

Hope this helped brightened your day a bit :)

Other details

Link here

---

Was thinking really hard if i should do a dedicated post on this, but tbh I got paranoid at some point on the IWA on Tumblr issue LOL (because of certain active login records in my account - but later kind of realised that I had a bunch of dead side blogs havent touched for years - I only use my main and this was created for JZ, so bots and buying of followers probably used my account to access my dead blogs or something, about 8 or 9 overseas login LOL to follow nonsense accounts, immediately logged them all out and did all my 2FA what not, do your 2FA guise!).

Was in between wanting to share more so more people know, while at the same time got paranoid over the tags LOL and pondering how silent should I be.

So thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts, it bridged a platform for my own questions. :) Hope it made you and everyone else at least a bit more hopeful to wait 💛

Answered on 22.8.21

[maryse127]

Now that I am out of class (and over the initial shock of Nintendo UK's stupidity) let's get to an old fashioned round of Direct predictions/hopes!

Xenoblade 3 dlc. I bought the expansion pass before launch and I would like to know what I bought (yes I am crazy and Monolith Soft owns my sorry little ass)

A new mainline Fire Emblem game. It's been 3 years! Give me Fire Emblem! I know I have 2 routes left in Three Hopes and one in Three Houses but please give me a new Fire Emblem or a remake of an old one

Botw 2. No explanation necessary. At least give an update. I do not expect a release date. A title would be nice tho. Gives us anything. Please.

Twilight Princess and Wind Waker were rumored again. They have been for years but honestly with botw 2 delayed to next year we dont have anything Zelda this year. So it would make sense Nintendo drops some remake this holiday season. I probably wouldnt buy either of them (at least not anytime soon) but porting them to Switch finally would be cool.

Honestly there isn't much else I really want because I have too many games as is. Just got into Final Fantasy XV and still have much Xenoblade 3 side content to go and Crisis Core is coming sometime this winter as well and botw 2 next year and Three Hopes in my backlog and just there is already so much.

I would be surprised if Three Hopes doesnt get dlc at some point so they will probably announce a season pass without really showing any content of it

I will drop everything and immediately buy a new Style Boutique/Style Savvy/Girls Mode game tho if it ever happens. Please don't let that series die with the 3ds. I loved those games

Like I mentioned before I want Square Enix and Monolith to remake Xenogears in the HD 2D artstyle of Octopath and Live a Live. Same for Chrono Trigger. Neither of those will happen. But I will include them for inclusivity's sake

Final Fantasy brained as I currently am, I would also still like to see ports of the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy because I would like to play those games and have no machine capable of doing so (my laptop is not strong enough for games)

Xenoblade X won't happen until Xenoblade 3 dlc is over so nope. But please Nintendo. I am begging you. Release this game from hell. It deserves so much better.

Maybe we get an update on Pyra Mythra Smash amiibos? Tho that could also just be a tweet sometime. I dont remember what other amiibos are also coming. I just realized there will be a Sora amiibo?! Sometime. I havent played Smash in years

Honestly this list shows I really only play a few jrpg series and zelda oops. In my defense all these games take forever to play so can't really take on more series XD

[roseskiesandbutterflies]

Killer Queen (Social Media AU) - Chapter 4

Summary: This is just my marauders fic but in social media form. Check the original on my account under the same name (Killer Queen) to see the blurb and shit. Yes it’s the same plot lmao. I made this entirely on impulse.

Warning(s): none

Word Count: 914

Inspiration: The Boy Who Killed God by SeraMGrigori on AO3, Sweet Things by Cocomouse on AO3, Peacocks by yellowbeesknees on Wattpad, Dandelions by asthelysian on Wattpad, Texts from an Unknown Number by GaryOldman on AO3

Taglist: @briarrose26

Ask/comment to be on my taglist! Let me know if it’s for a specific fandom(s) or series. Full list is in my bio.

new tweet from pleasecallmeruth

pleasecallmeruth can you believe marlene pushed me out of bed this morning for literally no reason

- marlsmckinnon it was for your own good

 - pleasecallmeruth it really hurt me

  - marlsmckinnon I didn't even push you that hard jfc

   - pleasecallmeruth nah not physically hurt. emotionally. im bruised marlene.

    - marlsmckinnon cry about it bby

- marlsmckinnon anyways it weren't even my idea

 - pleasecallmeruth I know I still havent forgiven you dorcas

  - certified_dork sweetie I already apologised. you were gonna be late otherwise.

   - pleasecallmeruth don't even talk to me meadowes youre dead to me

    - notaflower can you all get off of twitter and actually socialise like normal people

     - pleasecallmeruth why would we do that

      - notaflower we're literally eating breakfast together ACTUALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER

       - certified_dork that's us told lmao

marauders innit

pleasecallmeruth, jamesblack, siriuspotter, loonylupin & pettygrew

pleasecallmeruth

um wtf

siriuspotter

what

pleasecallmeruth

where are you all

jamesblack

great hall

pleasecallmeruth

without me

jamesblack

not our fault you take ages to get ready lmao

pleasecallmeruth

well im sorry darling but it takes time to look this fabulous

new story update from pleasecallmeruth

new tweet from loonylupin

loonylupin I hate when people ask why I'm concerned about my friends when this morning ruth actually had to check her phone to see what day it is

- pleasecallmeruth would you rather I turn up to the wrong lessons moony

 - loonylupin I'd rather you just know what day it is like everybody else

direct message between

siriuspotter & pleasecallmeruth

pleasecallmeruth

hey you alright?

siriuspotter

yeah ofc why do you ask

pleasecallmeruth

you sure? cos when minnie came over earlier and asked us about our summers and all that you definitely didn't look alright

siriuspotter

im fine honestly please don't worry

pleasecallmeruth

well I am worrying

siriuspotter

well you know how it is back home

not much you can do about it so please just don't

pleasecallmeruth

okay I'm sorry darling I'll drop it alright?

siriuspotter

its all gucci you don't need to apologise

new tweet from loonylupin

loonylupin lmao the way binns made a seating plan for the first time in his afterlife and yet he still put sirius and ruth next to each other right behind me

- jamesblack exactly what I was thinking mate cos im right next to pete in the back corner lmao

 - pettygrew don't knock it lads

- notaflower we're not gonna get any work done this year are we

 - alice.in.wonderland babe you say that as if you give two shits about history of magic

  - notaflower stfu bro

new tweet from pleasecallmeruth

pleasecallmeruth is it really a history of magic class if sirius fucking black doesn't spend the whole class flirting with literally anyone in the near vicinity

- siriuspotter well what else am I supposed to do in that lesson? learn?? don't be silly

 - pleasecallmeruth talk to me bitch im bored as fuck sitting here in silence smh

direct message between

loonylupin & pleasecallmeruth

pleasecallmeruth

remus

remus

remus

moony

remus

moony

moony

lupin

oi you wanker look at your fucking phone

loonylupin

you didn't need to throw that paper plane to get my attention

pleasecallmeruth

well apparently I did

loonylupin

why can't you just talk to me ffs

pleasecallmeruth

oh don't start I already had that lecture from lily this morning

loonylupin

she always had more sense than you

pleasecallmeruth

loonylupin

what did you want anyways

pleasecallmeruth

can you talk to idania

loonylupin

who

pleasecallmeruth

the girl sitting next to you

you dumb fuck

loonylupin

um why

pleasecallmeruth

why?? bitch what planet are you on

loonylupin

??

pleasecallmeruth

omfg give me strength

remember from about 5 fucking minutes ago when binns called her name in the register but she's deaf so she didn't know and I told her what was going on and then she looked fucking mortified??

loonylupin

ok ok I get the picture thank you

pleasecallmeruth

I just don't want her to be freaking out internally all by herself

loonylupin

ugh fine ill pass her a note or smth and see if she wants to chat

happy now?

pleasecallmeruth

yes thanks

marauders innit

pleasecallmeruth, jamesblack, siriuspotter, loonylupin & pettygrew

pleasecallmeruth

lads look at remus

jamesblack

very secretive

pleasecallmeruth

what

jamesblack

you know he's on this gc right

pleasecallmeruth

just look at him and you'll see why that isn't worrying me

pettygrew

yeah I don't think he's getting his phone out any time soon

jamesblack

bloody hell remus is talking to a girl?

siriuspotter

will wonders never cease

pettygrew

ruth is this your doing

pleasecallmeruth

might be

it was more for her than anyone else

she seemed a bit meh yk

pettygrew

yeah I get you

accidental matchmaking innit

loonylupin

excuse me it wasn't like that

pleasecallmeruth

sure darling

loonylupin

it really wasn't

jamesblack

you keep telling yourself that mate

A/N: I haven't made up a username for idania yet but I probably will at some point. I hope you enjoyed this chapter (I just realised how long it was compared to the other ones jfc) and I'll see you next time! toodles

[poniesandcupcakes]

Started alone, ending alone it seems. Memento Mori everyone. Unus. Annus.

I wanna thank you guys so much for everything, I don't know if you'd actually see this or the short goodbye tweet I plan to send out too,

But I was in a really horrible hole a month before unus annus. I lost my best friend after we both seemed to have such a sudden impulse to tell eachother how much it'd hurt to lose the other the exact day she was hospitalized. Barely hours before. I'm genuinely just crying because, in the beginning, I had such a panicked attachment like as if Unus Annus was the final thing I had left to stay sane and happy and to stop thinking about losing someone who was my best friend only four years short of my entire life (we were both freshly 18 when she died.)

I got this tattoo because of my loss and because of you guys, I have a poor memory and it hurt just the thought of forgetting even something as simple as our nicknames or her handwriting that used to be all over everything of mine. You guys are seriously so fucking awesome, on my other platforms aside from this I did back and forth posts of daily unus annus updates on my life and planned to delete it all like the channel, but fell hard on the impending dread of her anniversary, even months prior on my own birthday. I got separated from friends for close to half a year due to a virus, my other two best friends either moved away or seemed to care more about their relationship than me and their family, my dad works in another timezone and missed copious opportunities to visit during a year long separation from me, my mom and brother, and may even have to come as late as just before Christmas when he could've been home in a day.

I've wanted to say it and know you guys know, I love you guys and I love what you've done and I'm so so fucking thankful you did this, I was ready to go into a shell of being an even bigger introvert than I already am after losing the person I grew with to be comfortable out of my usual zone. I used to make comedy videos, write, make sketches, and be so creative before last October, and I think I would have definitely let you down not going after those goals and ignoring the potential I could have had, if not for your videos. You guys inspired me more than I thought you had.

I did break several times at the different times you guys spoke about the other dying, I could never wish that on anyone. My boyfriend and I both lost our best, closest friends in the span of two years and it ripped us apart. You guys seriously did so fucking much without realizing, and whether you see this or not I want you to know that. I havent sobbed yet but I'm definitely choking down Canada dry at the moment just to stop from waking up my family and startling my friend next to me, but I definitely will be crying before I get to sleep after the stream. The way you spoke about Amy when she laid down in the coffin is so beautiful, its how I felt about Jess. She was the reason for my everything, and we worked together on everything. We had scripts, and plans, and character designs for a series four years+ in the making, and I one day hope to finally bring it to life and give new life to her in that way through her ideas and creativity that held no bounds. I never met anyone as creative as her, not even my boyfriend who's someone I think can't be beat in that sense as well, but not in the same sense of her.

Unus Annus wasn't just a video series, it was like it came out perfectly to keep me sane and help me carry on and understand how to cope and how to live with her memories alone. Its a coincidence, that just.

It just helped me find so much strength and keep me up and working and staying around, I'd never dream of taking ill care of myself but I also have so many days I just don't do what I need to do because I can't see a reason, whether its appetite, taking care of my physical health, cleaning my room, or even just washing my face or brushing my hair. Its just stuff that should be such an instinctual or subconscious action, is so hard it physically hurts to do it more than to just move along and keep moving without it. I was so unhealthy, and still am despite working on it, losing things is hard. But having the memories is both harder and so much easier, than having nothing at all. I wish I could say "reset the clock" and be part of that group just to pretend I can't let go, but oddly?

I'm glad to see it go. The progress I've felt just telling people its all what "needs to be done" since the beginning, I never saw till recently how good it was to just let go. And it's because it came after such a loss, and such an odd and eery coincidence, even coinciding a month after her death and, obviously, the year anniversary of her death. I was just able to let go, because how could I ever come to terms with something like that kind of loss if I couldn't be comfortable with videos being deleted?

A reset can bring videos back, yes. Just begin the clock again, easy as pie, go on ahead archivers-

But there's no clock that could EVER be reset for her. Her clock can't just begin again, I can't just call her or send her a message and suddenly she'd be back, so why should I say Memento Mori has to be Numquam Subsisto instead? Never stop is not realistic. Death is an unavoidable occurrence, loss is a building block, remembering life can only exist if death does, and vice versa.

Memento Huius Anni, Memento Vitae;

Memento Mori.

Thank you, Mark, Ethan, Amy, Evan, everyone. For making this past year better. Even if it was the same prompt my own mind had held all year after October 2019, whether Unus Annus existed or not to put it there like an earworm; Remembering Death held a different meaning despite the same thoughts. A different feeling. It held excitement and calm, rather than my pain and sadness. You guys are amazing, I can't say it enough. And one day I do hope to say it to you all in person, even if it's years from now (as it most likely would be, I'm not very popular on YouTube for a collab in the slightest, and I don't have to money to go to any big events you may go to).

I could say more, but I don't want to say anything else sad, goodbye or not. You guys gave such amazing support to me, even if its hard to believe at all, or you think this is fake and just an attention scheme, you guys are just the best. You're amazing people I hope to meet one day, and I'm glad to have watched and experienced this and got the support from you all.

I love you guys, all of you. Memento Mori. Unus Annus.

[kinktae]

hi babe !!! i’m starting on my journey through the whole bitchin’ series today !!! and i just wanted to say that it really reminds me of that 70’s show (even if i know urs is set in the 80’s lmao) !!! and i want to congratulate u on the job well done !!!

All the bitchin’ asks I didn’t get to answer in time uwu. Spoilers ahead:

prince-jjk said: just read your beyond the story for bitchin’ and i literally cried twice 🥺 especially in the 10yrs later when, for the wedding gift, jk gives y/n the contract they wrote all the way back when they barely knew eachother, that part just made me be like skfkskckskfkd on the inside, that was adorable.

Anonymous said: bitchin is so soft 🥺 it was love at first chapter for me, i loved watching y/n and jk grow throughout the story both together and on their own and i love all the soft lil moments and reading every chapter warmed my heart so damn much 🥺 thank you 💕

Anonymous said: okay so i finally read bitchin’ all in one day and 🥺🥺🥺🥺 they are both idiots i love them sm,, thank u for writing such an incredible story!!💕💗💕💘💗

Anonymous said: MISS ROSE?!?!?!?! BITCHIN' IS BACK AND WITH YOUR BEHIND THE SCENES COMMENTARY?!?! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE EXCITED MA'AM!! AND WELCOME BACK QUEEN WE'VE MISSED YOU AND THESE LOVABLE DORKS!!!!💛💓💙💕💜💖💚💞❤💘💗

Anonymous said: I LOVED WHAT YOU POSTED FOR BITCHIN OMGGG i actually LOVE seeing behind the scenes of writing so i really enjoyed reading about the details of bitchin. nOT TO MENTION HOW CUTE THE EPILOGUE WAS PLEASE I DONT THINK ILL EVER GET OVER THEM but overall i really liked it and thank you so so so so so so so much for this

Anonymous said: i swear Yara and Taehyung do be the cutest couple :(

beifong-bitch said: So im new around here and just started reading bitchin and oh god- I KEEP IMAGINING TAES VOICE SOUNDING LIKE THAT ONE SURFER DUDE FROM TOTAL DRAMA.

Anonymous said: beyond the story: bitchin’ got me so emotional like??? i think i can’t live without them:( thank you for this beautiful story🤧 you’re so talented

sapphireprinces5 said: can I just say that the fact you called it Behind The Story as BTS is so genius and the best chef’s kiss of the century. reading this made me tear up like I miss the two so much and to see them happy forever was just 🤧 it was so cool to see how the stories developed and your thoughts as you wrote them. thank you for giving this to us - probably one of the best gifts i’ve ever received as a reader. amazing, you’re amazing

mochiieberry said: JUST READ THE UPDATE FOR BITCHIN AND FINALLY I CAN START MY DAY(ignore the fact it’s 3 am :) ). But honestly after reading BITCHIN I questioned what happened afterwards and thank you for writing the behind the scenes and giving us 10 year update!!

ggukcangetit said: oh my gosh i was missing bitchin' and you posted the most incredible companion piece. also love how its called beyond the story (BTS) so sneaky rose (¬‿¬) you really spoilt us with the connect i am sad and happy so thanks for that. lastly, just wanna appreciate how much effort, hard work, and care you devote to your stories, characters, and readers. since you are a LOT younger than me imma go ahead and say this- uWu rose is the best liddol bean in the world. okay bye.

Anonymous said: I just wanted to say thank you for the extra bitchin' content! It's one of my favorite fics ever (mainly bc I am a woman in stem who takes shit from no man and I hardcore identify with yn) and to see how much you love the fic and genuinely get excited about the little details you slip in to make it more enjoyable for you to write just makes my heart !!! bc i love nothing more than hearing writers talk about their works with pride. love you lots and thank you for always putting out great content!

Anonymous said: Yara refusing to put a label on her relationship after 10 years sends me. For one thing, as an independent woman who is terrified of commitment, I can 100% relate lol. The titles she gives him instead killed me as well. Her outrage at the crustaceans was also so something I’d do. Like “no ma’am my best friend ain’t sign up for this and as far as I’m concerned she’s gonna get exactly what she wants”. Yara is my spirit animal.

Anonymous said: I have a lot of questions. #1- How dare you? Bitch I am sobbing. I love those Bitchin fools and I ain’t ever gonna stop loving them!

lee-u-ne12 said: I may have giggled one too many times during my "beyond the story: bitchin'" reading. Dammit it's just so cute! I found it charming how instead of just giving us an update on the characters you included some commentery on each chapter! Ngl i was rlly sad earlier but this made me smile :)

Anonymous said: I definitely noticed the sock thing and thought it was stupidly cute (like this entire fic tbh) and djjdjdjdjjd I wish I had commented on it when I first read it! I loved the behind the stuff and loved all the reasoning as to why you didn't want y/n to be a 'popular guy gave me confidence' type of character 👏 honestly loved it all thank you!!!!

Anonymous said: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING BITCHIN’!! ITS A WORK OF ART AND SO AMAZING QND I LOVE U SO MUCH MISS ROSE 😭😭😭💕💓💖💕💗💞❣️💖💝

Anonymous said: AHAHJAJAJAJJA THIS MADE ME SOOOOO HAPPY AND I HAVEN’T FELT THIS HAPPY AND SAPPY IN SUCJ A LONG TIMEEE!! i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE READING THE BACKSTORY AND BEHIND THE SCENES OF WRITING THIS FIC AND THE 10 YEARS LATER AND WEDDING MADE ME SO FUCKING HAPPY AHAHAHJAHA I ALSO LOVE TAE AND YARA SO MUCH AND I LOVE THAT THEYRE SO HAPPY BRO AND LIKE THEY DIDN’T NEED A LABEL LIKE yES PERIODT!UGHUGHYGHI I LOVE YOU SO MCUH MISS ROSE AJHSJS I HAVE SO MUCG LOVE FOR YOUU 😭😭😭💖💓💕

Anonymous said: ROSE YOU SON OF A BITCH I LOVE YOU

cheeky-kookie said: ROSE, I am so happy this is the best birthday present wowza ily thank you bitchin' update I cry

Anonymous said: oh my gosh yara and tae are gonna get married someday and she's still gonna be like what? husband? you meaN my matChing riGg wEareR.

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know, I just read BITCHIN' AND IT'S THE BEST STORY I'VE READ IN A WHILE AND NOW ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES. I would totally read it again in the future . Thank you for writing it and sharing it with us and you're awesome!

Anonymous said: Bitchin' was amazing. I cried. Thank you for writing it 🖤

Anonymous said: I think I've read bitchin like 3 times now but in never fails to put a smile on my face. The 80s slang kills me every time. Just wanted to say it's one of my favourite fics I've ever read :)

Anonymous said: i just finished bitchin’ AND IT WAS SO GOOD i cried at the end when it came full circle about the paper 😭❤️

Anonymous said: Hi I just binge read bitchin I’ve always ran into it but I hesitate Bc I knew it wasn’t completed I’m the worst but,,, ow. Ow. My heart physically melted you developed two characters so well and there’s no way I’m not going to reread again and again because of how good and genuine their relationship was. Uhh that’s it sorry I just wanted to let you know I’ll need money Bc my heart is unfunctional because of how full it is

Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that you made me feel so 🥺🥺🥺🥺!!!! with bitchin', that it is one of my favorite stories ever and that it's just so amazing and well written i just- don't stop doing what you're doing please !!!!!

Anonymous said: hi sorry this is random but im a huge fan of your work! i havent checked in with tumblr too much lately but last night i binge read camellia, groovy, and bitchin and oh my goodness i was so enthralled !! you have such a wonderful ability to engage readers with such relatable and dynamic characters! like wowowow i cant wait to read more of your writing! thanks so much for putting in the time and effort you do to create your work, its great and im glad you get to share it with the world! 🌟

Anonymous said: hi so i may or may not have read all of bitchin in one night BUT I LOVED IT AND IM AMAZED BY YOU 🥺♥️

Anonymous said: hiii! bitchin’ has been the best thing i have ever read and im so sad that its over, but im so happy you wrote it! u are an incredible writer❤️❤️❤️

emdancing said: Hi! I’d just like to say I binged bitchin and i absolutely loved it! It just might be my favorite koo fic 💕 your writing is awesome and so are you!!

Anonymous said: i binge read bitchin this weekend and i don’t even like fanfics but kept seeing it get recommended so decided to check it out and i loved it 😭 jungkook in that fic is so perfect and cute (except for his mess up with kiri) and that note at the end got me emotional 🥺 your story and writing was too too good, i skipped all the smut but still loved it 💗 thank you for sharing one of the most heartwarming and lovely stories i have ever read! 🤧

lowlifeoeuvre said: Hi i just read bitchin and i only have one thing to say about it... A WHOLE MASTERPIECE MAN!! literally almost cried and actually made a very inhuman happy noise at the end. I will for sure be reading anything else you write or have written.

babeewiththepowerr said: I just finished reading Bitchin and now I’m crying 😢 it was soooo pretty and well written 💜

[shesawriter39049]

“Hands to myself” Taehyung Mini smut drabble

RANDOM AF..ALL SMUT..no real plot..I guess lowkey a fan hookup backstage before the show !? 1.2 k

UPDATE: This could kinda fall into my “VIP Treatment” series..even though I didin’t have that in mind when I wrote it..but it fits...

“Tae, baby-f-fuck” A chocked out sobb hiccuped from your chest, as your head and hand slap against the wall of his dressing room. He was told a good oh I don't know...5 or so minutes ago that he needed to start getting ready, yet here he was. His skilled fingers riding you towards your 3rd..yes 3rd release, they were fucking perfect...long enough to hit what felt like the deepest niche within your core. Yet they were thick, thicker than you expected..making you kneel out in pleasure the minute his knuckles disappeared between your lips. “God, you sound soo good calling me that” Kissing his way down the side of your neck, caressing each inch of your skin , you were sure your entire neck had to be a very interesting shade of purple by now. As he seemed to have made a home in the crook of your neck..marking you as his...even if it was only for tonight.”Your making it impossible for me to keep my hands off you,..you know that right?” There was a hint of smokeyness that melted into his voice as it brushed against your skin, letting your hands find there place in his hair. Another moan fell effortlessly from your lips, as you felt his teeth sink into the base of your neck. “Good,I don't want you to, they feel soo good…soo good baby” It was like he became addicted..addicted to how warm and tight your pussy felt clenching around his fingers. How effortlessly “Baby” rolled off your tongue in reference to him as he brought you to each of yours highs. How no matter how hard you came, how much your thighs were trembling...how wet his hand felt...or how weak your voice became..you still wanted more. Not afraid to push your body as far as it’s willing to go. 

“Oh fuckk…” clawing your nails through the thin material of his tee-shirt as you felt that familiar feeling start to build in your stomach again. He hadn't given you time in between to fully come down, if he wasn’t fucking you open he was rubbing your clit and vise versa. Keeping you stimulated the entire time..at this point almost overstimulated,your thigsh havent stopped shaking and your clit was still swollen and throbbing yet you wanted more. Rocking your hips into the palm of his hand but this time the tension was far more intense than the others. Everything felt amplified, due to how sensitive all your nerves were, as he snaked his fingers in between your folds you could almost pinpoint exactly where within your walls he was. Even able to feel the metal of the 3 tiny rings that sat along his fingers..you felt everything! “Shit, Tae you need to stop..unless you want me to squirt all over your extremely expensive-oh god- jeans…” Everything was strained.. as you spoke you weren't even sure if he understood you in between the cries that swept in the middle of every word you tried to utter out. All the muscles in your body were starting to seize up, moaning out against the crook of your neck as his hand took a firm squeeze on your ass before bring it up to your jaw. Titing it down to make you look at him “Fuck, you can do that?” The eyebrow raise accompanied by the smirk..and the underlayer of excitement in his voice almost had you scared to answer that . It was clear he was more than up for the challenge and there was no way he hell he was stopping until you made a mess all over him. Sinking your teeth into your bottom lip trying to muffle the cry that was teasing up your throat as slid a third..finger in...curling it upwards meeting the others...your heat pulsing against him even stronger now that he was three wide, knuckle deep. “If-If you can hit right spot then..yeah..yeah I can..” Smirking up at him through hooded lids as he brought his forehead down to rest against yours. Another moan escaped his lips at the sounds of that, sweeping his tongue against your bottom lip before sliding it into your mouth. Bringing his opposite hand to to slightly adjust your posture...taping your thigh so you could loosely wrap it around his waist..making you arch slightly off the wall. Keeping a firm grip around your waist as he guided you to rock your hips up into his palm. Helping him slide against you at a even deeper angle, the feeling became even more intense than it did only seconds prior which you didn't even think was possible. The cries forming in your throat got stronger even as the rolled against his tongue, they weren't close to muffled. “..And am I hitting it right baby? Are you going to come for me again? Make a even bigger mess all over my thigh?” Slurring his word against your tongue as he didn't fully break away from the kiss. You never in a million years thought you’d hear Kim Taehyung call you “baby”….nevertheless while his fingers were riding you through your 3rd Orgasim. And fuck, if it didn't sound  damn good coming from that deep husky voice of his..not to mention the fact that he was practically moaning all of it against your tongue. More than evident how hard he was at this point, you could feel his length pressing into your inner thigh. Walls clenching automatically  at just the slight brush of how thick this man was..you wanted him to fill you to the brim, but unfortunately there wasn’t time for all that right now. “Fuck yes..oh my god right there...please right there..” it was clear how close you were, from how uneven your voice was, a slight tremble residing in your throat. His fingers were edging your G-spot perfectly...continuously thrusting them in and out in at a rapid speed. His palm smacking against your lips every time..the sound of your wetness bouncing off the walls .

” Hmm...there baby?” You could feel the smirk in his voice, he was getting just as aroused as you were..accent becoming impossibly thick. He already knew the answer to his rhetorical question..from how hard you were clenching around him...already knowing he was right where you needed him to be. Not letting up until you gave him what he wanted, dragging his fingers along every inch of you heat.Suddenly you found yourself invuotetarlly squeezing him in place, almost unable to release the grip you held around him. Muscles spasming so tight he almost felt stuck for a minute. ”Oh fuck fuck fu--”  instantly dropping your head to his shoulder..biting into his chest trying to muffle your sounds as it felt like your body was hurdling over itself. Knees actually buckling as a result of your orgasim being ripped form your body. If his arm wasn’t around your waist you probably would have hit the floor. You felt yourself dripping down his palm, onto your inner thigh..when suddenly your arousal hit it’s peek “Tae-fuck” your words were barely audible as they slurred against his shirt..your fluids felt as though they were almost forcing his fingers free. In that moment a growl that almost felt...primal erupted from his throat as you soaked his thigh “Fuck yes baby, good girl...good girl….” leaving faint kissing in your hair as he soothed his hand over your thigh. While you panted heavily into his chest...fingers still clinging to his shirt for dear life. Still slowly rocking his fingers in and out, causing your body to quake at every movement. “That..was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen...holy shit…” Whispering the praise into your hair..body to weak in the moment to respond. That’s when you heard a hard bang on the door...something mumbled in korean...which let you know he was probably getting cursed out and needed to get his ass ready….

You weren't sure what he said in response, as it was obviously on Korean but whatever it was it made the staff member walk away from the door. Yet he still hasn't pulled away from you let..giving you a minute to fully let  your body come down. Well aware of how hard you just came, and how sensitive your entire body was as you were still shaking actually. Slowly sliding his fingers out..using your juices to gently rub light circles over your clit, while his other hand continued stroking your hip. Continuously whispering into your hair how good you did, how good you felt, the praise only making you more lightheaded than you already where. Once your breathing started to even out, you finally pulled your head back from him..bracing it against the wall.glancing up at him with full heavy lashes.  A lazy smirk tugged on the corners of his lips at the site of how fucked out you were. I mean don’t get me wrong you still looked good it was just clear he wore you out and he ...loved  every second of it...

“I-if you want..I can stick around and maybe you can try for number four with your dick this time?” Eyebrow quirked slightly at the implied question while your teeth grazed your bottom lip.  A light chuckle left his throat, as he grabbed your hand..guiding you to slowly stroke his length through his jeans. Making sure you knew how hard he was, making it pulse a couple times while in your hold , simultaneously clenching your walls every time you felt him move. I guess that was his way of letting you know..you reallyyyyyy didn't need to question if he wanted you to stick around or not….

Love you guys as always,

Rocki 

[quokkalatte]

Mixtape pt. 4 [M.YG]

Part 4

Category: One Shot series

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Female!Reader

Summary: Living as an aspiring rap artist in Seoul, all you want to do is work on your music and try to get your name out there. Of course when you have someone as annoying and spiteful as Min Yoongi makes that extremely difficult. Until he decides to help you out.

Warnings: smut, language, some Namjoon action (which ofc is a warning cause oof), angry Yoongi, alcohol consumption, perhaps some angst but not really

Warnings for this chapter: Honestly none except slight mentions of sex

Author's Note:so sorry it took so long to get his out thank you for being patient ♡ this chapter is short. Like really short but I'll try to make the next one longer ~ Autumn

Tags; @notsolovelykarsyn @psychoticshawtyy

Cannot tag: @deesixx2801

[Message me to be added to the tag list so you can be notified for new updates]

× × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × ×

It was like clockwork, waking up again and feeling angry and bitter at myself. Making myself something to drink and brooding and contemplating telling Yoongi not to come, tell him I'm sick. Any excuse not to see him again.

I sat on the couch, staring at Yoongi's contact, chewing my lip. I pressed his contact and texted him.

Me: don't come today, I've come down with something

Jerk: OK

I sighed, putting my phone down, going to take a long shower and try and get over the pounding in my skull, drinking was never a good idea. I undressed, stepping into the shower and allowing the steaming water to pour down my body, my eyes closing in content. I lathered myself in soap and wrapped myself in a towel, ruffling my hair with another to dry it faster. A faint knock had me frowning, dropping the towel I was drying my hair with I quickly adjusted the one covering my body, making sure I was appropriately covered, I went to the door, checking the peep hole and nearly yelped in shock.

Yoongi stood outside the door, container in hand and two drinks in another. His blonde hair was tousled and he was peering down the hall at something, scratching at his neck for a moment, pushing the grey goodie he wore for better access. I let out a short gasp. I told him I was sick! What was he still doing here? I backed away, from the door, eyeing it like it was deadly or toxic.

"Open the door Y/n I know you aren't still asleep, you texted me 30 minutes ago" Yoongi's aggregated voice came from the other side of the door. I swallowed and glared

"I told you I was sick Yoongi"

"And? Just let me in please your druggy neighbor keeps peeking at me and it's unnerving" he says, the last part fading into a whisper. I groan, pulling the door open, and Yoongi steps in quickly. He freezes once he sees my attire. Color floods his pale cheeks, and I blush darkly. "Uh, did I interrupt something?"

"N-No I just got done showering. I wasn't expecting you to still come" I mumble, excusing myself to dress, leaving Yoongi in my living room. I quickly pulled on a hoodie and sweatpants. I found him peering around my desk, and I clear my throat, and he turns to me. "Finished?" He asked and I roll my eyes.

"I still don't know why you're here, I told you not to come"

"I was already on my way when I got your text, and it wouldn't be the first time I've been around you when you're ill" he prompts, walking over to my kitchen island and setting the box and drink tray down.

"Have you considered maybe I don't want to see you?"I snap, fed up with him already. Memories of last night kept swimming in a haze, the alcohol making it dim to remember everything, but I understood the jist of watching Yoongi stick his tongue down some girl's throat and going to bed with her.

"Have you worked on a song yet?"

He completely ignored my question, opening the box and the tempting smell of sushi wafted towards me. I folded my arms, and huff

"You didn't answer my question"

"You didn't answer mine" he smirks, plucking a sushi roll and plopping into his mouth. "I brought you some too come eat" he mumbles, his cheeks puffed as he chewed. I growl in frustration and take one. "Well?"

"Yes I've worked on the song" I grumble, remembering the furious drunk scribbling I did last night in anger. Yoongi swallowed, taking a drink from his cup and dusted his hands on his pants.

"Let's see then" he asks, and I walk over to my desk and snatch the papers and handed them to him. He raised his eyebrows at me, before scanning the angry lyrics. I knew what they were, those were the one thing I remember about last night. The lyrics spoke of harsh love, love that wasn't reciprocated and the pain of having to watch him move about and not do anything about it. I suddenly realized the inspiration of the song was reading it, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth formed the words. I grew nervous, wanting to know what was running through his head. He read through them twice before handing them back to me.

"They're very meaningful, full of emotion. I'd tweak the grammar a bit and take out a couple of repitions" he says, but his mouth moved as if he wanted to ask something else. His tone was guarded and he took another sushi roll and chewed it. I nod, returning the paper to the desk. The silence that followed was awkward. Yoongi wanted to ask something, I could see it in his eyes. It did nothing more than agitate my already hostile mood with him. He chewed the sushi in silence, eyeing me as I watched cars come and go out the window above my desk. It got to much.

"Just ask what you want to ask Yoongi" I sigh, turning to look at him. He seemed embarrassed that I had caught him, but as he eyed me, his nervousness quickly snapped and he spoke.

"Is the song about the guy you're with?" He asks, tone cold and judging.

"What guy?" I frown at him, halfly with exasperation

"The Panda Express guy" he said impatiently, like I was an idiot of some sort. My eyes widened and a blush rose on my cheeks.

"I'm not seeing the Panda Express guy Yoongi" I growl.

"Are you sure?" His tone mocking.

"Positive."

"Then what are the looks he gives you every time we go out after a session?"he accuses. I groan, this boy. He acts almost like he's jealous. Which couldn't be true considering the activities he had partaken in merely 12 or so hours ago.

"That's what they are Yoongi. Looks. He kept trying to ask me out but I turned him down. He thinks we have something special after we drunkenly kissed at a friends party over a year ago" I scoff. Yoongi squinted at me, trying to see if I was telling the truth.

"Jimin?" I groan, wanting to strangle him.

"Just a friend"

"You sure?" His tone was sharp "you seemed awful cozy last night"

"Dammit Yoongi I don't like Jimin! I don't like the Panda Express guy! I've never done more than kiss a guy so stop treating me like I'm some common whore" I yell, fists clenching in anger. Yoongi blinked, taken aback my my outburst. He looked guilty for a split second, and he eyed me. I blushed, realizing I had admitted my viginity to a guy who had probably taken many.

"You've never had sex?" He asks after a pause. I turn my eyes to the ground, not meeting his gaze

"No. Never found a guy I liked enough to do things with" I mumble. I didn't like the silence. That all that seemed to be happening were bouts of awkward and tension-filled silence. I just wish he'd speak. Yoongi was always bad with words, except when he was rapping. Then he could spit out words faster than I could comprehend.

"Neither have I" I was caught in my thoughts that I almost missed him saying it. I looked at him, and he looked back. This pissed me off. I balled my fists, walking over to him, and grabbed him by his hoodie. He yelped as I dragged him towards the door. The shock must have allowed me to do so, considering Yoongi was taller than me and more built. I shoved him towards the door.

"Get out" I snap. "I don't want you here again. If all you're going to do is patronize me and slut shame me and tell lies then I don't want you here. Ever" Yoongi sputtered at me

"What are you-"

"No!" I cut him off "you don't get to listen to me announce my intact viginity only for you to reply with you haven't had sex either" I growl, pointing my finger in his face.

"I havent-"

"Liar! You had your tongue down some poor girls throat just last night! I saw you so I dare you to deny it" I hiss. He swallowed cautiously.

"I won't deny it, but I didn't have sex with her" I snort and he glared at me. "it's true. I was going to, but I stopped. I always stop. I can't bring myself to do it" he mumbles, running a hand through his hair. I frown, not fully believing him. He always had girls at parties, every single time. He'd take a girl upstairs, and now he's trying to say he's never slept with them? I was doubtful.

"Why do you stop? They're pretty and eager" I ask

"Because I don't like them. I don't want to have sex with someone I don't care about. It needs to mean something." He says. I study him before replying. He seemed honest and genuine, I didn't see a trace of a lie on his features. My next question I knew would anger him, it was a touchy subject, but I couldn't deny my jealousy that wiggled it's way into my head.

"The girl in the song you wrote for, is she special?" I ask. Yoongi's gaze was intense, and I had to will myself not to look away. I stared into his brown eyes as he spoke.

"More than she could possibly know" he says, his voice low and calm. The air sparked with a new kind of tension, created from his words and gaze. It sent pickles of emotion up my spine and caused a round of goose bumps to grace my arms. The jealousy egged me on, I wanted to know more about this girl that apparently plagued his thoughts enough to have a song written for her. Did she know about the crush Yoongi was harboring so deeply for her? Maybe not, or they'd be together already.

I didn't realize how close Yoongi was to me. His face hovered inches away from mine. I could feel the exhaled breath fan across my face and the heat his skin put off warm the air between us. It chilled me, him being so close and my cheeks spread with warmth as I realized he hadn't broken eye contact. He licked his lips, and leaned forward just slightly, his breath setting me aflame.

The loud sound of a phone ringing caused us to jump. Yoongi stumbled back into the door and I turned to find the offending noise. Yoongi phone was vibrating and ringing nest to the food and drinks. I tried to still my rapid hear beating as Yoongi quickly walked over to it, picking it up and answering it.

"Hello?" His voice was higher pitched and his cheeks were flushed pink. Incomprehensible words came from the other side. Yoongi hummed "okay I'm in my way. Try to get him not to move it" he says and hangs up. He glanced at me "I need to go"

"What happened?" I ask, instantly worried. He wrinkled his nose

"Namjoon's roommate, Seokjin, got his hand caught in the sink. Reached down to grab something and it got stuck. I need to go help get it out while Namjoon panics unnecessarily" he says. I open my mouth to respond, to tell him I wanted to come, but he was already out the door with a quick slam and a rushing sound of clothing, leaving me alone and confused.

[actuallyadork]

Getting started learning Japanese.

Here’s some resources I’m using to learn Japanese and what I think they do well and not so well. This is all based on my own experiences and what works best for me.

I will be rating based on the following criteria: Cost, Is it easy to use?, How much does it cover?, Pros, Cons, Overall impression.

Tofugu

I’m replacing a previous recommendation with this one. Far superior. I’ll just get right to it.

Free. Easy to use.

Pros: articles on just about everything. Theres a podcast. And every month they post resources for learning japanese. I highly recommend this website for these posts alone.

Cons: some content you gotta pay for but as far as i know they don’t duck around with people’s trust. They are the creators of wanikani and they gotta make money somehow.

Overall: far more useful that the first website i had on here. Maybe I’ll add more details later, but I just wanted to update this one as quickly as possible.

Japanese from Zero (video series)

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOcym2c7xnBwU12Flkm5RcLIEhvURQ8TB

Cost: free

Easy to use: yes. Theres a nice playlist so all you have to do is sit and watch.

How much does it cover: You start out knowing absolutely no japanese and by the end of lessons you will know two writing systems. Basic sentence patterns and grammar. There is even a kanji series.

Pros: nothing is easier than sitting and watching videos to learn. You can play it anywhere at anytime. George has been teaching/speaking Japanese for years so he knows where students get stuck. He gives good explanations and examples on when to use new content and when not to use the new content.

Cons: because its a series, sometimes George refers to previous lessons or his book and you may be missing some context if you start in the middle or skip through some lessons.

Overall: The first lessons were painful to get through because It starts out with romanization and if you already know the writing systems, seeing the romaji on screen is like listening to nails on chalk. Not to mention I have a personal beef with numbers and counting as well as the common phrases like “おはよう”

But it is called Japanese from Zero and it is meant for someone who knows absolutely nothing about japanese so I can forgive the painful beggining lessons. Once I got past the introductory stuff the videos became more enjoyable.

Duolingo (app)

Cost: free

Easy to use: yes

How much does it cover: basic japanese sentence patterns, all three writing systems and a handful of new vocabulary.

Pros: teaches new words and sentence patterns and really drills them into your head. Gives you a few new words at a time so you can take the time to learn them without being distracted from all the other words you need to learn. You can go into the course as a Japanese person trying to learn English and really get the most out of Duolingo because the japanese version starts out with Kanji and even gives polite and casual sentence forms.

Cons: very repetitive. I don’t find fault with this but a coworker of mine found this to be very annoying and I can understand why. Duolingo says the lessons will get harder but instead its the same lesson except now you have to review it 10 times instead of 5. That’s not exactly hard, that’s just tedious. My biggest gripe with duolingo is that it doesn’t explain particles or why the kanji has different readings. In order to figure that out I had to go and do my own research which isn’t a big deal but if you’re only using duolingo by itself it makes it harder to understand why you keep getting things incorrect and subsequently how to fix it.

Overall: I will admit I am biased towards duolingo because I’ve used it for Spanish, French, Italian, and now Japanese. I was there from it’s early days when it was absolute shit and it has come a long way. I recognize the issues with Duolingo right now but I know that they are constantly updating. Painful as it may be to keep hearing 六時六分です it really is teaching you sentence patterns that you can use to make your own sentences. You just have to go out and do a little extra work yourself. It is, by far, the easiest to use and the method I use everyday.

TinyCards (app)

Cost: free

Easy to use: yes

How much does it cover: it covers a lot of vocabulary phrases and even sentences. You can probably get a lot mileage out of this one if used correctly and if you’re willing to put in the work

Pros: dozens of pre-made flashcards to choose from and the ability to make your own. Cards come in sets that you can unlock by finishing the first set similar to duolingo. A lot of other flashcard apps work in a similar way except they make you pay for the rest so I appreciate that this one is free of charge. Plus you can find flashcards specifically from the duolingo courses so you can study the vocabulary in isolation rather than in a sentence. Interactive flashcard system. So you don’t just flip cards and call it a day, occasionally you will have to write out the translation in the target language or pick from several choices.

Cons: the difficulty can be a little inconsistent. Sometimes you just flip a card and say I remember that one and other times you’ll have to translate a full sentence in Japanese. Even if you get the kanji right, you may get the answer incorrect because the card wants the hiragana and vice versa. And because there are so many card sets to choose from, not all of them are useful.

Overall: a sister app to duolingo it seems. Cards come from the community of learners and are not limited to japanese or languages. You can also learn about history, art and pretty much anything else. I appreciate the interactive aspect as most other apps don’t do this and the ones that do are muuuch more inconsistent than this one. I found similar interactive flashcard apps that would sometimes show Vietnamese translations instead of English translations. I’ve only recently been using this one but I pretty much gave up on using other similar apps bc they were very inconsistent. I haven’t used it very much though because I’ve discovered that I’m not a flashcard learner. If you learn best with flashcards then I would recommend it.

Tae Kim’s Guide to Japanese (website/pdf/app)

Cost: free

Easy to use: relatively. Just read the damn thing. I get it though. Reading is very tedious

What it covers: It really is a beginner to advanced beginner guide covering the same things as all the above. Basic grammar, writing systems and such. One thing that is very unique about Tae Kim’s guide however is that it also includes cultural notes such as explaining casual vs polite speech. Male vs female speech that a lot of the other resources don’t even touch on

Pros: A very good starting point that covers so so much. The website has an option to show/toggle translations. Additional cultural notes plus examples. Almost every“how to learn japanese” guide points to this website

Cons: one of the reasons I was holding out on making this list was because I haven’t finished going through all the resources so I don’t have any cons for this yet. I’m only part-way through and I’ve yet to have any issues with it. Maybe just that once it gets the point across it immediately moves on. You don’t really have time to digest the content so It’s like a very in-depth crash course in japanese. You may need to go out and do extra research in order to really understand the content. If you don’t understand what is being taught, just read over it again and keep it in mind. I’ve found that I’ll come across more examples as I continue my studies and it all starts to fall into place

Overall: It doesn’t sugarcoat Japanese or treat the learner like a baby. If you read the introductory page, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Definitely influenced my approach to learning despite not having gone through all of it. Like other resources, it builds on top of topics already covered but it’s nice having a book-format with conjugation charts and lessons separated by chapters. Videos and podcasts are nice but Tae Kim’s guide also acts as a manual to supplement your learning. Maybe you want to write a sentence in the masu-form and need a quick reminder? Just flip to the page in the guide. No skipping through videos trying to find the part you need because it’s already there.

Manga Sensei (podcast/website)

Cost: mostly free. I believe theres some extra stuff you can purchase. I’ve seen a special podcast that requires payment and comes along with a free pdf. But for the most part, you get a lot of free content.

Easy to use: relatively. Havent been on the website much so for all i know it could be a mess

What it covers: the podcast covers a lot of grammar points and occasional vocabulary and cultural notes. Gives you a good foundation to build on top of. The website has more details on what the podcasts are about but I haven’t spent much time on the website as I have the podcast.

Pros: grammar points in 5 minutes or less. Differences between common words. Good for improving listening skills. If you’re driving or on a bus, you can learn on the go.

Cons: so much to choose from you kinda have to sift through what you need. Most of it is useful and there are a couple of repeat lessons as Manga-Sensei has a beginner’s guide every year. Because its audio only, you may be learning new words and grammar but you may not be able to identify them as quickly on paper. Best to supplement with some type of visual. I believe the website has something to solve this and I’ve heard there is a youtube channel as well? Although I am not sure.

Overall: If you’re going on a long car ride, folding your laundry or even just working-out, this is a great way to stay on top of your studies. Manga-Sensei has talked a lot about his projects such as his manga, alternate podcasts, and pdf. Even though I haven’t taken a look at all of them, it’s clear he’s working hard to bring content for listening, reading, and conversation skills. That being said, the podcast is just as good for learning as any other method. You can still understand the lessons (which are meant to be short and simple anyway)

Japanese Ammo with Misa (Video Series)

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBSyd8tXJoEJKIXfrwkPdbA

Cost: free although she has a Patreon as well if you want to support her.

Easy to use: yep

How much does it cover: A Lot. From basic videos about grammar to more complex videos breaking down japanese songs as well common phrases and little notes that you may not find in a textbook

Pros: Her lessons have a lot of examples and good breakdowns of the grammar and tense. If a verb is in the past-negative tense, she will break down how to get to that point from the plain form or dictionary form. The best part about her videos is that she has her examples on-screen and color-coded. It may seem like a lot at first, but once you adjust to it, it helps to retain the information.

Cons: Because there’s so much content packed into her lessons, I recommend getting a basic knowledge of Japanese first. She has a video series for basic/introductory Japanese. I would suggest starting with that series or George’s series, or Tae Kim’s guide. Just so you don’t get an information overload.

Overall: There is one video in particular that I recommend to watch and I’ll make another post about it, but I really enjoy her content. Even though some of her videos are very dense with information, the comments suggest that its still easy to follow. I just think that while you can still learn a lot as a newbie, you might retain more if you already understand some grammar.

Japanese (app)

Cost: free holy shit!!

Easy to use: relatively

Pros: search using english, japanese, radicals, or drawing the kanji itself. Flashcard system, where you can build your own decks or use a pre-made one. The flashcards operate on a spaced repetition system. Plus it provides example sentences, compound breakdowns, stroke order, conjugations and JLPT level.

Cons: The drawing search method is sometimes hit or miss but i’m impressed the app has this option at all, let alone that it does not crash the app (like some others I’ve tried). The pre-made decks can have up to 400 words or more which is great if you have that kind of patience but I rarely find myself excited to sift through all of those words only to have about 10 of them be useful to me.

Overall: Okay it’s not like this app is super amazing or revolutionary but it’s a dictionary and flashcard sytem all in one. Say you want to keep a record of the new words you learn to refer back to them later? Make a new deck! Or if you’re reading a book or newspaper and come across a word you don’t know? Add it to the list or make a new deck! I try use new words as often as possible to drill them into my head And although my studying has slowed a bit, this app is perfect to double-check spelling and usage. (At least until jisho.org gets an app). Plus it’s easier to learn and remember words when you’ve come across them on your own.

[feverhalo]

First posted fic! Its not the one ive had requested, or either of the two other I had started. Its just a quick little thing. I fell asleep today really early after getting back so I havent had a chance to work on those yet. Ill cross post this to ao3 sometime tomrrow. Im also great at titles. Warning to talk of needles/shots but other than that its pretty tame run of the mill whump.

—————————————

Post Immunization (fma fanfic)

Edward stomped into the office, dragging his coat along in his left hand. His automail hand was curled in a protective barrier around his left bicep. He shoved his chair back with his foot and threw himself into his seat.

“Not a damn word, you traitorous bastard” Edward spat as Mustang looked up at the flurry of activity. “One word, and Colonel or not I’ll end you.”

“Brother!” Alphonse chided, “You can’t take it out on everyone. They are working, too; I’m sorry for Ed being so angry-“

“Don’t apologise for me!” Ed glared at his brother. “It was a dirty trick.”

‘Whatever do you mean, Fullmetal?” Mustang leaned back, mouth quirking up even as Riza shot him a look. “It was of utmost importance, and very relevant to your quest to get your bodies back. Immunizations are important.”

Ed reached forward and grabbed some of the paper work on his own, rarely used, desk. He was limited in what he could do for the rest of the day, banned from sparring or getting into anything strenuous to avoid bruising and pain from the set of shots. He was basically stuck with sitting around, but if course Colonel Mustang planned to ruin his day to the last shred of freedom and insisted he come catch up on paperwork like the rest of them. He grumbled, mocking Mustang under his breath as he worked.

The Colonel frowned, Ed wasn’t rising to the bait anymore, and as much as he would love to throw in a good jab about the boy’s height or the fact he was still getting children’s immunizations, this wasn’t the time. Quarterly reports were coming up, and in true Mustang fashion there was a very steep backlog. So work continued on with the addition of an irritated Edward rubbing at his sore shoulder every now and again.

After some time, patience and energy dipped and the others took turns to get up and stretch or grab a refill on coffee. Edward had slumped forward, resting his cheek on the desk’s cool surface. Alphonse, who had previously been content to read quietly or chat a little whenever conversation arose struck up a quiet conversation with his brother.

“Come on Brother, I know this sort of paperwork is a hassle but yore nearly done.”

“Mmm,” Ed nodded, but thats all Mustang could make out from his desk. He missed out on the rest of the mumbled reply. He shifted getting ready to crack a smart remark, but Alphonse’s reaction stopped him from trying to get a rise out of Ed again.

“Do you need to lay down? You do look pretty tired,” he clanked quietly as he fussed, “Are you feeling alright?”

“Everything okay boys?” Riza stepped in after that little bit of eavesdropping.

“Brother?”

“Tired ‘s all. Stupid paperwork’s givin’ me a headache.” Ed straightened, bringing his messy hair and flushed face back into view.

Without hesitation, Riza reached forward to press the back of her hand to his forehead. Mustang couldn’t blame her, even he was taken back by how pale the alchemist looked under the deep red flush.

“Sir,” she half turned to address the Colonel. Ed pushed at her arm gently, using his automail to save his flesh arm the soreness of moving. “Sorry Edward, I didn’t mean-“

“So I do have a fever?” He rubbed at his eyes, no wonder it was getting to hard to stay upright and focused. Riza nodded, turning back to Roy.

“Lay on the sofa over there for a bit, see if it helps.” Roy motioned to the two seater pushed up against the wall. Ed stood up to do so, but stopped to brace himself using his desk for a long moment before stumbling over as if his shoes were undone. Alphonse followed to quietly fret, tossing his brother’s jacket over him as he curled up. Ed pressed his face into the back of the cushions as work resumed in the office.

“I’ve got a quick call to make, Lieutenant.” Roy picked up the phone and dialled the number of the paediatrician Hughes had suggested. No military doctor had the vaccines on hand that Ed was due for, as most everybody had gotten them at around age ten. It was a bit of a low blow to the boy’s pride as well, and one Roy was suddenly not so comfortable with.

“Hello, Doctor Leston’s office. How may I help you?” A chipper voice crackled across the line.

“Colonel Mustang,” he felt ill prepared for this conversation. “I had an appointment set up for an Edward Elric earlier today, as his technical guardian and commanding officer. I need to speak with the doctor regarding that visit.”

“Doctor Leston speaking, what seems to be concerning you today sir?” After the brief hold, Roy was surprised to hear such a young voice.

“Edward Elric was in earlier today for a series of immunizations,” he paused. “He’s feeling rather ill now, actually.”

“Oh, I am so sorry thats a shame. Is he having a rash reaction? Are you able to give me more information? There shouldn’t be many side effects to these vaccinations, but as I understand it is a rather special case with this boy. Being so far behind in them because of such a physically traumatic incident.” Her voice was kind, and she trailed off to allow him to answer.

“Hes got a rather noticeable fever. I’m afraid I don’t know how high exactly, but its interfering with his activities.” It was strange to have it so blatantly thrown at him- Ed was still very much a child. Here he was speaking to a child’s doctor, about a polio vaccine update most people got when they were aged nine or ten. And this was about is subordinate, the thirteen year old boy sleeping across the room.

“Oh! Goodness me, that is incredibly common; he’ll be fine. Many children get fevers after vaccinations. It shouldn’t last more than 24 hours, most don’t even last that long. Over the counter children’s pain and fever medication should be fine to use if he is uncomfortable. If at all possible, please keep an eye on it. I don’t usually get patients with automail, so I’m not too sure how differently it may effect him.”

“Ah, thank you. So its nothing to worry about?” he listened intently for a few more minutes as she relayed more information. “Alright. Thank you very much. If anything else happens may I call here again?… Yes if course, if it rises too high he will be taken to an emergency centre. Alright, thank you, you as well have a wonderful evening.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Mustang looked over to the sleeping boy. “He’ll need to be monitored tonight I suppose. Alphonse where are you two staying this time around?”

“We were going to stay with the Hughes family again this time, Gracia always asks us to whenever we mention we’ll be in the area.” He had half turned to look at Mustang as he responded. His large gauntlet still rested on his brother’s back, moving in small circles to try and offer as much comfort as he could.

“Hm. It shouldn’t be anything contagious, but I’m not so sure you two should go there with him ill. It would be too much, with their daughter.” Alphonse seemed to sag slightly, arranging a room somewhere wouldn’t be very easy as just himself. Edward usually managed to get around the issue of them not having an adult guardian because of his status as a Major. “I’ll get Hawkeye to drive you two back with me.” “Um? I’m sorry Colonel, I don’t follow.” Al’s voice was small, and it really reminded Mustang how young the boy really was. He felt about two inches tall after today, purposely trying to humiliate the boys by sending them somewhere that under other circumstances would be a totally normal thing for them.

“Its a one-time kindness,” He stood to gather his things. Hawkeye stood from her desk as well and went into motion, preparing her coat and fishing her keys from the top drawer. “He did everything I asked of him, and being in a house with an energetic little kid isn’t going to be easy on him. If you’d like to get your things together, follow Lieutenant Hawkeye down to the gate and we’ll meet you there.”

Alphonse did as he was told and gathered up the few belongings they had. He gave his brother another look before following Riza out of the office. Roy pulled his jacket on and silently thanked his subordinates for knowing when to keep their mouths shut and heads down as they continued to plough away at the stacks of reports.

“Fullmetal, time to wake up,” he stood over Ed sleeping on the sofa.

The boy barely stirred, but did roll enough for Roy to see the strands of hair plastered to his face with sweat. His face was glowing red and how he was twisted seemed incredibly uncomfortable, but he was still oblivious to the world around him. Sighing, Mustang crouched and manoeuvred Ed’s arms through his jacket sleeved and hoisted him up, staggering a little at the uneven weight distribution. After a small struggle, he had Ed on his back. The boy’s arms were slung loosely over his shoulders, and he held the small alchemist tight, tipping forward slightly so the boy wouldn’t fall backwards.

“Feel better, chief.” Jean called out quietly as Mustang made his way out of the office. Ed shifted and hummed, not committing to waking up but hearing enough to know he was being talked to.

[ylla]

This Must Be The Place - Chapter 2

Series: JJBA Characters: Okuyasu Nijimura, Josuke Higashikata Pairing: Josuyasu Tags: modern au, oku wowing ppl with his mad cooking skillz, two dudes being guys and kissing, this particular chapter is pretty fluffy and doesnt really need warnings Rating: M

AO3 link

so uh, decided to make this into a multichapter fic! Thought it would make a lot more sense if i laid out how it goes from them getting together before senior year to freshmen in college. the chapters after the first one won’t be near as long, because i would probably die, but hopefully i will make up for that in chapter numbers? who knows, i’m just kinda going with it, since i havent really planned this far. i will probably will write little ficlets in between updating this, and i still have a jotakak and avpol thing i wanna get started on.

 remember to like the fic, reblog the fic, and follow me for more fic content

Okuyasu was convinced that his life was just an elaborate dream that he would eventually be woken from, either by the anger of his still-human father or Keicho demanding he stop being such a lazy asshole and get up. He would rise from a dirty mattress, go through the motions of getting ready to split from the abandoned house they broke into, and feel a profound sense of loss for something that his imagination conjured up.

If it was fake, and the warmth that Josuke Higashikata embodied was just an illusion his mind invented to lessen the loneliness of a sad, neglected teenager, then he never wanted to wake up.

The start of senior year presented a host of problems, all of them centered on his budding new romance. As he got ready for the first day of classes as a newly minted senior, Okuyasu would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous. His phone had been buzzing all morning with texts from Polnareff, who was giving him unwarranted ‘advice’ about surviving senior year as a dude who was dating another dude. Since meeting Polnareff during all the Stand bullshit, the Frenchman had taken a liking to Okuyasu, and had more or less taken him under his large, buff wing. In the deep parts of him that never saw the light of day, Oku was comforted by having someone that wasn’t Josuke or his mom look out for him.

Not that he would ever tell Polnareff that to his face.

He glanced at the clock, and made a disgusted noise when he saw the time; he was running late, wearing a tank top and his underwear, and his hair was refusing. To. Cooperate. The front door creaked open, “Yo, Oku! You up?”

Okuyasu’s heart did that weird stuttering it always did when he saw Josuke for the first time every day. “Yeah,” he poked his head out of the bathroom, “Jus’ getting’ ready.” There he was, the black mage that bewitched his heart, Josuke ‘Big Ass’ Higashikata, waltzing up his staircase like he owned the place. Which, he didn’t, but he sure had the deed to Okuyasu’s heart.

Josuke gave Oku a peck on the lips, before leaning against the doorframe, “Good morning, handsome. You sleep okay?”

The kiss turned Oku’s ears red, “I guess,” He turned his attention back to his hair, “The mess on my head ain’t cooperating though.”

“Want me to do it?” Josuke had his eyebrows raised, enjoying the view of Oku in his boxer briefs and tank.

“Nah it’s—“ he went to start sculpting his hair again, but his hands were shaking too much and he fucked up, “Oh goddamnit!”

Wordlessly, Josuke walked into the bathroom and quickly fixed Oku’s hair. The blush from Oku’s ears spread to his face and down to his chest as he felt Josuke’s breath on his neck. It seemed like it was contagious, because as he finished, Josuke was just as red. “There you go.”

Okuyasu turned around, finding himself chest to chest with his boyfriend. He was only two inches shorter, and it was nice. He felt like they were on equal footing. “Thanks, I owe ya.” He planted a kiss on Josuke’s mouth.

“No problem, but if you wanna pay me back, buy me ice cream.”

“Fine, fine. Lemme go get my pants on.”

After the confession on that fateful night weeks ago, the bromance had quickly turned into a romance. Not that anything really changed. They still acted like the delinquent little shitheads they were, the only difference is now they held hands and kissed. However, the stares they got before were “look at those two punks, acting a fool”, now it was either “ah, young love” or something far more terrible.

You can’t really carry your school bag and eat ice cream, but once the cones were finished, the two resumed their handholding. They were approaching campus, and Oku felt himself get increasingly nervous as the distance shortened. “You…you sure about this?” Okuyasu squeezed Josuke’s hand, “I know you said you were, but—“

They had discussed how open they wanted to be about their relationship at school. Oku had already heard from Koichi and through the grapevine that almost everyone knew him and Josuke were an item. It was pretty obvious they were, it’s not like they had made any attempts to hide it. But, they were never around the other kids they went to school with, so actually being in class could bring out a whole clusterfuck of issues.

“Yeah, I am. I don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone else thinks.” Josuke stopped and pulled Okuyasu close to him, “I love you. I’m not ashamed to say it—“

“I’m not ashamed either! I just. I don’t—“ Oku averted Josuke’s eyes, rubbing the back of his neck, “Girls are gonna be super disappointed, and are gonna make a scene and, like, I don’t wanna make your life hard, ya know? I ain’t worth that.”

With a sigh, Josuke pressed their foreheads together, pomp slightly in the way, “Yes you are, don’t say that about yourself. You’re my boyfriend, and I don’t give a shit who knows it. I love you, okay?”

Josuke smelled so good. Okuyasu couldn’t help himself and moved to rub his face into Josuke’s neck, “Okay. I love you too.”

The rest of the walk was comfortable silence, but as they rounded the gate and walked into the courtyard, Josuke whispered, “Courage, dude.” He had none, but he mirrored Josuke’s swagger, trying to look like he didn’t notice or give a shit about the gawking and loud whispering. There were some girls crying, some dudes jeering and making kissy faces, money was exchanging hands, and some were just passively watching, curious.

They found Koichi by the lockers, face deadpan and hand out. A few guys were around him, handing over money and grumbling. “Goddamn you Hirose, you’re robbing me blind,” one of them whined.

“Then don’t make bets you can’t pay out.” Koichi counted out the stack, satisfied, “Pleasure doing business with you guys.”

As the group walked away, Josuke clapped Koichi on the back, “Still making money off of us?”

“Yep,” Koichi pocketed the cash and started to open his locker, “still not lending you any.”

Josuke howled in frustration, while Oku barked out a laugh that he managed to quickly stifle. “So Josuke,” Koichi fiddled with his combination lock, “Do you figure you’ll get confessions still?” The answer to his question came in the form of a tower of letters, chocolates, and various other gifts crashing down in on top of Josuke.

Okuyasu took one look at the completely, utterly done look on Josuke’s face and started howling. Like, from the bottom of his stomach, snorting like a pig, laughing. He had to hold onto his locker door to keep himself upright, lest he fall to the ground and roll around clutching his stomach. His boyfriend carefully picked the cards that got stuck in his hair out; face, jacket, and hair covered in pink, purple, and gold glitter. Josuke looked like he wanted to be mad, but his lips almost twitched into a smile. Okuyasu managed to get ahold of himself, reaching over to dust some of the glitter off, “You know, the glitter’s a good look,” he choked out.

He dodged Josuke’s embarrassed smack, and gave him a quick smooch on the lips. Josuke retaliated by pulling him close, and rubbing his glitter-encrusted face all over Oku’s. With a yelp, Okuyasu managed to get Josuke into a headlock, while Josuke hollered, “WATCH THE HAIR.”

“Ahem,” someone coughed behind them. That’s when Oku remembered that he was at school, and that there was a crowd of interested students and unamused teachers surrounding them. A girl pointed at the locker they were wrestling in front of, “If you guys are done flirting, I’d like to get into my locker.”

Whoops.

The rest of the morning was pretty quiet until Okuyasu went into his home economics class. He wouldn’t have taken it had it not been for the encouragement he got from Tonio and Josuke. When Okuyasu walked in, there was a sea of girls who turned their heads toward him, including the one whose locker he was wrestling around with Josuke in front of. Looked like he was the only guy. Great. He was already regretting this.

The teacher was a nice, soft-spoken lady who gave him a sweet smile as he sat in the very back. “Good morning class, and welcome to Home Economics. I am your instructor, Ms. Iwamoto. Today, I would like to start us off by having you showcase your cooking skills! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but I just want to see how well you do.” She assigned everyone to stove tops, directed them to where they could find ingredients, and let them have at it.

Okuyasu was assigned to a large island tucked into the corner of the class with three other girls that seemed like the best of friends. They talked amongst themselves, but kept an eye on whatever Okuyasu was doing. Which was fine by him, gave him enough space to work on his crepes.

“Ritsu! Your eggs are messed up again!” the tall one with short red hair cried out, “This is the third time!”

The small strawberry blonde girl sighed, and threw her depressed, runny eggs away, “I’m never gonna get this right. Take me out back and shoot me, Yukie.”

The chubby, quiet one with glasses and silver hair leaned over, “It’s okay Ritsu. I can’t even cook rice to save my life.” She gestured at the disaster that was her rice cooker.

“Hitomi, that’s the saddest thing I’ve seen all day.” Yukie said.

Okuyasu cleared his throat, “You’re not letting the pan get hot enough.”

All three girls whipped around, “What??” they said in unison. It was strangely choreographed.

Oku started cutting strawberries, face pink, “If the pan is hot enough, the eggs won’t run.”

They looked at him like he had suddenly grown a second head and was shouting in tongues. Ritsu turned the heat up on her stove, waited for a few minutes before cracking her egg. It landed and stayed in place. “EUREKA! Thanks Nijimura!” Ritsu jumped up and down with glee.

Hitomi took one look at her rice cooker, then looked at Okuyasu, “Nijimura, can you help me too?”

So, Okuyasu found himself helping the others while finishing his dish (“That looks so good,” Yukie moaned, making grabby hands at it before Hitomi batted her away.) He learned that they were juniors, had been best friends since grade school, and that Hitomi and Ritsu signed up for home economics because neither could cook.

“I only signed up because they did,” Yukie said, her grilled cheeses coming out nicely.

The last part of class was dedicated to taste testing. A few were pretty decent, with one of the girls preening as Ms. Iwamoto praised her sandwich as ‘great’. Some got passed over, (Yukie gave poor Hitomi a pat on the shoulder in sympathy), and then at last, it was Okuyasu’s turn. “Now, our lone male. Mr. Nijimura, if you please?” Oku trudged up front, girls tittering around him. His face was hot when he sat the plate down. “So, what did you make?” the teacher inquired.

“Uhm. I made strawberry crepes.”

“They look great, let’s try them.” Moment of truth right here. Okuyasu cringed as he watched her cut off a piece and take a bite. “This is fabulous! I’m very impressed!” Ms. Iwamoto’s face lit up, “Girls, come here and try this.”

Everyone walked up and took turns eating, all of them expecting something terrible, but sound surprised when it was delicious.

“Wow!”

“This is so good.”

“Color me surprised, Nijimura can cook.”

“Didn’t think he had it in him.”

“Good job!”

If his face wasn’t red before, it sure was now, “Th-thanks.”

Maybe this class wouldn’t be so bad.

“So, that’s when Ms. Iwamoto told me that she was super impressed and expected good things outta me! Never heard a teacher say that to me before.”

Josuke and Okuyasu were in the courtyard for lunch, sitting in the shade of a big tree. They were poking at their lunches, more interested in talking than eating.

“Good shit babe!” Josuke kissed Okuyasu on the cheek, “And you even made friends. It’s shaping up to be a red letter day for you, sunshine.”

Okuyasu went crimson at the pet name. It was so saccharine, so cliché, but he couldn’t help that he got major butterflies every time he heard it. “What about you? How was your class?”

“Anatomy sucks,” Josuke made a face and took a bite out of his sandwich, “There’s actual medical pictures in the textbook, but I didn’t feel all that sick looking at them.” He chewed for a few seconds, looking thoughtful, “So that’s good right? If I do decide that being a doctor is what I want?”

“Mhm. You’ve been doing good lately, so hopefully anatomy won’t be bad, ya?”

“Here’s to hoping. Oi! Koichi!” Josuke waved over their friend, “How was calculus?”

The rest of the day was unremarkable; Okuyasu just wanted it to end so he could go home and kiss his boyfriend without being stared at like they were zoo animals.

Josuke’s locker was filled up with letters again. While Okuyasu and Koichi were getting ready to leave, Josuke read through some of them, “Most of them are begging me to reconsider dating you and going out with them, some of them are congratulating me and saying we’re a match made in heaven, and one is threatening to beat my ass—didn’t leave a name.”

“Fuckin’ coward,” Okuyasu was annoyed, but didn’t feel all that surprised. He opened his locker and was bewildered when a single envelope fell out. He started tearing it open, “If this is a letter threatening to whoop my ass, I will find the motherfucker and punch his head off.“ The letter was short and to the point:

Nijimura,

You and Higashikata being open about your relationship has inspired me to confess to my best friend. Even if he doesn’t reciprocate, it will be nice to finally be honest about myself.

Thank you.

Tears started marking the paper; Oku wiped his face off on his sleeve. It was a good feeling to know that something he did helped someone else, even if it unconscious.

Josuke was slightly alarmed, “What’s wrong?? What did it say??” He snatched the paper away and scanned it, a small smile replacing the look of concern.

Koichi looked at the both of them, “What did it say?”

“Jus’ someone sayin’ thank you. Come on Oku, let’s go home.”

The school days breezed by uneventfully. Between dates, homework, and hang time with Koichi, Okuyasu didn’t even notice that two months of school had already passed.

One early Saturday morning, Okuyasu woke up in his bed tangled in Josuke’s limbs, tired, hungry and way too hot. He struggled to extract himself without waking his sleeping boyfriend to go make breakfast. While the bacon was sizzling, he glanced at his phone. Three missed text messages greeted him:

Ms. H: Oku, remind Josuke to go to the store and pick up the items on the list I gave him. Thank you!

Polnareff: Me and those damn Kujo’s are coming in soon, bringing the littlest Kujo and possibly Jotaro’s mom??? Don’t know yet, but it’ll be a good time either way

Yukie: Hey Nijimura! There’s a party happening tonight. Ritsu’s crush invited her and said she could invite whoever she wanted, so you and your man should make an appearance. If it sucks, then at least there’s free booze.

Oku shot off texts back:

You: i will

You: good shit

You: sounds cool. send me directions??

Loud groaning and footsteps echoed down into the kitchen. “Mornin’ Sleepin’ Beauty,” Okuyasu called out, not bothering to watch Josuke walk into the kitchen.

Josuke just kept groaning until he reached wrapped his arms around Oku, burying his head into the crook of his neck, “That smells good.” He pressed kisses into Oku’s neck, making him shiver.

“Stop distracting me and I’ll be able to get it done quicker.”

He did as he was told, stepping back to watch Oku work diligently, “Have I ever told you that I love you?”

Okuyasu’s ears went pink. “You tell me every day,” he grunted, starting on the eggs, “Especially when I’m cookin’ for ya.”

Josuke clutched his chest in mock indignation, “How dare you, I love you all the time, not just when you’re feedin’ me.”

Chuckling, Okuyasu handed him his egg and bacon laden plate, “Here.”

“Thanks sunshine.” Josuke sat at the table, with Oku right in behind. They ate like a pack of ravenous wolves.

“Your mom texted me earlier and wants ya to run to the store for her.” Oku managed to say between mouthfuls.

Josuke rolled his eyes, “Alright.”

“Polnareff said that him and everyone’s comin’ to visit.”

Josuke groaned, “Yeah, Noriaki messaged me too. They might be bringing Jotaro’s mom. Not sure how my mom’s gonna handle that.”

Okuyasu shrugged, and pressed on, “And we got invited to a party tonight.”

Josuke went from tired sulking to wide awake and bright eyed, “No shit? Looks like we’re getting hammered tonight.”

“Should we invite Koichi?”

“Nah, he’s got that thing with the student council tonight, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s right,” Oku cleared the table as his phone dinged. It was Yukie, with a time and directions to the house, “Yukie said it’s gonna start around 10. You can just tell your mom you’re staying the night with me again.”

“Sounds good. Let’s go take care of that shit for her so we’ll be on her good side when I tell her.” Josuke wolfed down his remaining food, gave Okuyasu a swift kiss on the cheek, then pounded up the stairs.

Okuyasu texted Yukie back saying they would be there. It did sound like a lot of fun. What could possibly go wrong during a party filled with drunk teenagers?

Famous last words.

[meanderfall]

//tornadoes thru ur window, completely shattering the glass: for the writer meme, 5 - 6 - 8 - 10 - 15 - 21 - 25 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 34 - 36 - 39 - 45 - 47 - 48 - 49 - aaaand 50: how long do you usually let an idea fester in your mind before you're like, "okay, i'll write you down u little fucker"? ALSO IM AWARE THIS IS A LOT, LMAOOO

LDJF;KFGSKGF ADRI MY LOVE, MY WIFE, MY KNIGHT, MY SUN AND MOON, THANK YOU OMG, I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR A NOVEL OF AN ANSWER LMAO

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?

LMAO I ACTUALLY HAVE THIS CALCULATED PER HOUR just bc that’s how long my train ride is. So I can do about 400-500 words in 50~ minutes.anyway tbh, I write almost never, but when I do, I try to get around 1000 words done??? that’s usually when i lose steam too. (though i guess if i did 500 word spurts instead throughout the day, i’d get more done) (TO CLARIFY, the only reason it’s so much is bc i only write when I know /exactly/ what the scene is gonna be and im motivated. if u sat my ass down in front of a computer each day and told me to write, I’d probably only get 100 in two hours, less even.)

6.     Single or multiple POV?

I’m a multiple pov hoe. I’ve thought before of writing something in entirely one pov, but tbh i dont think i could do it if the thing is longer that a 2000 word one shot.

8.     Oldest WIP

I HAD TO PULL OUT MY USB FOR THIS GODDAMN

Okay so, my oldest wip ever, is an original story I started in, I think, 2011 and wrote throughout the year. It’s got about 22k words down, but tbh i dont think im ever gonna touch it again.fanfic-wise, my oldest wip is a harvest moon fanfic, that’s around 6k words i think? and i was planning on re-writing it bc i didnt like the characterization of one of the characters and i wanted to fix that, but it’s been like five years now, i dont think it’s ever gonna be done. (I still want to though). (and u can find said wip on my fanfiction.net account)

10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

My guy, i’ve never set a deadline for myself in my entire life. I think I tried to do it once, and i completely let it pass by. (Though the fanfic i mentioned previously, im pretty sure i updated once a week before i fucked up)

15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

I either set it aside (and never pick it up again lmao) and let it stew in the back of my mind until I get something else, oR I POWER THROUGH THIS MOTHERFUCKER, and I’ll probably only write 50 words and hate every single last one of them, but I got it done and it’s better than nothing and hopefully tomorrow i’ll actually have something. (also, sometimes when powering through, what i write ends up inspiring me and im like “oh of course!” and i blaze through it)

21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?in case u havent noticed yet, about 99% of all my characters are snarky to some degree. I need a character with a wry sense of humour, and I’ll usually stay in their pov a lot. The only other character “type” I have are the sunshine pure cinnamon rolls who care and love everyone. Oh, and I guess also the ones who are pissed and bitter at the world at large. (I should.... probably... try to get out of this comfort zone...)

25.  Favourite part of writing

okay tbh, my favourite part is when I’m winding down from a good writing session, and I just feel so proud and alive, because I was productive and I created something with my own two hands and mind, and there are very few things that are as incredible as that imo

27.  Favourite line/scene

okay so this was hard to pick??? not to mention it’s all crap you’ve seen before but whatever.

There’s this one:

“McCreewas abruptly reminded of when he was nothing more than a teen, snarling andfurious at everyone around him, not willing to trust anyone. And he wasreminded of Gabriel Reyes who stayed calm and collected in front of his fury,gently rebuking him when he crossed a line; who praised him when he did welland willingly trusted him to have his back even though McCree didn’t trust him;who seemed to quietly understand why McCree acted in certain ways, accepted it,but encouraged him to choose better. Gabriel Reyes, who had faith in him whenhe wasn’t even sure he liked himself.“

And this one:

“IfWash’s head was a ghost town, then the Meta’s was a fucking wasteland.

Butthe worst part wasn’t the scorched earth and completely lifeless landscape, norwas it the stormy brown clouds above. No, the worst part was the lava that wasslowly inching its way up the mountain. It bubbled and simmered an awful sicklyorange as it creeped up bit by bit, not fast at all, but inexorably to the topof the mountain, going against all laws of physics. It was so awfully wrongthat he honestly felt sick witnessing it. Not helping was the sizzles it madeas it burned through whatever little vegetation there was and (he had no ideawhy he knew this, maybe it was because he was connected to the Meta’s brain?),it felt like the lava was actually gouging the earth, opening cracks andseeping inside, corrupting and destroying what lay within.

Wasthe Meta even a person anymore?”

(I proooobably would’ve picked something from the tuckington au but.... a lot of my favourite stuff is dialogue, or snarky narration, and idk it’s hard to choose and there aint a lot of depth to it)

28.  Favourite side character

OKAY THERE’S THIS ONE SIDE CHARACTER IN ONE MY ORIGINAL STORY IDEAS WHOM I ADORE (even though he has no name yet lmao) BUT HE’S BASICALLY REALLY SWEET AND CARING AND HE’S TRYING HIS BEST TO BE HAPPY AND SUPPORTIVE FOR ALL HIS COMPANIONS BC THEY’RE ALL GOING THROUGH HARD TIMES, BUT IT’S REALLY HARD FOR HIM AND HE’S INWARDLY SUFFERING SO MUCH BUT HE KEEPS SMILING FOR PEOPLE ANYWAY AND FLDG;DKHGFKG I LOVE HIM

29.  Favourite villain

I’m... cheating for this, I’ve never written a villain ever actually (and tbh what the fuck??? how??? i have so many original story ideas and none of them are villains??? what the fuck (maybe the true villains were the friends we made along the way))

okay so, originally, this character was gonna be the villain alright. She was mean, cruel, snarky, cunning, and manipulative. But as time went on, and I started exploring her character, wondering why she was like this, what her goal is, and I changed and shifted the plot of the story around she... sort of... became the main character. woops.

30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

IM ONLY GONNA USE ORIGINAL STORIES FOR THIS BC HOLY SHIT

Honestly, I’d probably have to go with this idea I had of a living person picking up the scythe of a Grim Reaper and becoming one and having to learn the ropes of the job.

Okay, I lied, it might actually be this detective series idea I had, wherein the main character, a police officer, has to investigate cases that, for the most part, are reminiscent, or re-imagined versions, of Quebec folk tales, and she has to figure out why the fuck this is happening.

34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

FIGHTING AND ACTION SCENES I HATE THEM SO MUCH OH MY GOD THEY TAKE FOREVER AND I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE IM FUCKING THEM UP HORRIBLY I HATE THEM (I could give u a specific example, but i dont want to)

36.  Last sentence you wrote

“Shut up.”

(this is actually how chapter 2 of my tuckington high school au ends lmao and there’s nothing to gain from it have fun adri)

39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

OH SHIT I ACTUALLY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION, okay so the i have no clue where the idea came from, but for some reason i had this idea of a character who’s mental stability or whatever was linked to these bracelets she wore??? but it was more like she became more primal and animalistic the more bracelets were taken off until she lost all sense of identity, and i think it’s because she was being controlled or used by an organization or whatever. This was just a random idea that I had and okay i know it’s dark af, but it’s honestly the weirdest one. (tbh…. im not sure i have one that could be considered weird…)

45.  How much world building do you do?

all of it. just. all of it. I need to know clothes, food, architecture, cultural norms, the history of the world, how the fuck people can communicate when there are multiple countries and multiple languages, and this is why absolutely none of my original stuff has ever been written

47.  Best way to procrastinate

Day-dreaming scenes and ideas instead of writing them

48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

W O W ADRI U WANNA CALL ME OUT THAT BADLY HUH?

honestly it’s probably that main character/villain i mentioned previously, bc i just gave her all of my self-loathing and she was supposed to sacrifice herself heroically in the end and there was gonna be an entire speech about why she was the right person to do this. (if it makes u feel any better, I’ve modified it so she doesn’t actually die and everyone is like “wtf? NO!”)

also the protagonist in story, i just gave her my depression and general lostness in life. (most... of my characters... start off with a part of me I want to explore, but over time, as I flesh them out, they become their own people, and actually have nothing to do with me anymore tbh)

49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

THAT SWEET CINNAMON ROLL I MENTIONED BEFORE OMG YES, I WOULD PROTECT HIM WITH MY LIFE

50: how long do you usually let an idea fester in your mind before you’re like, “okay, i’ll write you down u little fucker”?

*LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY* OH MAN ADRI U HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’VE JUST ASKED DO U OMG WAIT UNTIL U HEAR THIS

okay so u know that story with the cinnamon roll and main character/villain? The basic plot of that story has been in my brain since around 2011. I still haven’t started to write it. (though, to be fair, that story has changed so goddamn much since 2012 holy shit, and for the better tbh)

tbh adri, ur like 80% of my impulse control, and by that I mean you make me impulsive enough to actually write things instead of letting them ruminate in my brain forevermore. Hell, I’ve only started to get back into writing fanfiction because of you, okay, if u weren’t around I’d probably just give up on writing ever, and let the idea of being a novelist be nothing more but a fantasy i daydream about.

[viralhottopics]

I Gave Up Added Sugar For A Month And This Is What Happened

In our monthly series, GIVING UP, newsroom staffers deprive themselves of a beloved habit and track how it went. In March, Lifestyle Editor Suzy Strutner, 26, gave up added sugar.

Suzy Strutner

You could say I was in love with sugar.

What are you giving up?Im giving up added sugar (which is not the same as naturally occurring sugar, mind you) for Lent.

What made you decide to give it up? I love sugar in a way that sometimes makes me feel like its ruling me instead of the other way around. When a habit starts invading my life like when I miss out on an hour of sleep because I needa fresh-baked midnight cookie or cant get through the day without spending $6 on frozen yogurt I know its one I need to kick. Plus, I tried to give up sugar last year and failed without realizing why, so I wanted to prove I could do it, and do my body a favor at the same time.

How did your friends and family react? People either 1) tell me theyre impressed by my efforts (I started an email newsletter with updates on how the challenge is going), 2) ask if Im STILL not eating sugar, then inquire when Ill be available for dessert dates again,or 3) tell me theyve given up sugar too! Thats my favorite reaction, for sure. Two of my friends ditched sugar last month because I was doing it, which makes me feel like a positive influence.

Suzy Strutner

Did you do any research before you started?Yes, because Ididnt do enough research last yearand wanted to make sure I gave up added sugarcorrectly this time around. My colleagues and I have written a number of articlesabout added sugar over the years, so by now I know that added sugar is never, ever a good thing for your brain or body. Thats major motivation.

Did you slip up? Not yet! Well, it depends on how technical you get. Added sugar is in all kinds of foods, from store-bought bread to mayonnaise to pasta sauce. Ive avoided buying those items for myself, but I havent stopped eating at restaurants. Im sure theres been sugar snuck into a few dishes there. Ive also been eating dried fruit and other forms of naturally occurring sugar, which I learned is not entirely acceptedin the anti-sugar community.

Suzy Strutner

Yup, that cinnamon-raisin bagel has sugar in it, too.

When did you first feel deprived? Two days in, when a giant sundae appeared on the table at my moms birthday dinner.It was tough not to deem it a special occasion and cave in.Most of the time, though, this challenge has been strangely easy. Ive found enough other treats to look forward to like nut butters, banana bites and a granola-dark-chocolate-date-coconut melange that I concoct myself to guarantee sugar-freeness which taste indulgent enough to do the trick. I cant say I havent daydreamed about deep-dish cookie pie, though.

Suzy Strutner

What snack time looks like when you’re eating added sugar.

Suzy Strutner

What snack time looks like when you’re not eating added sugar.

Any awkward social encounters?Im afraid of being a buzzkill when I dont indulge at group get-togethers.Today at lunch, my colleagues didnt order dessert because I wouldnt be sharing it with them. It was a nice sentiment, but I felt like I was holding them back from sugary fun!Another time, at Taco Tuesday with some new friends, I felt awkward passing up margaritas in favor of a tequila soda. (This is NOT a real hardship, I am aware. But still.) I was pleasantly surprised, though, when my friends noticed the move and changed their orders to sugar-free drinks, too.

Notice any changes to your mood?I still get cranky when Im craving something sweet, but my new naturally sweet treats usually do the trick. Overall, I feel like a more capable human. I tend to doubt my level of discipline, but this challenge has shown me I can do anything even deny myself of favorite sugary snacks if I decide to commit.

Changes to your body? I used to sometimes feel sick after eating too much sugar, especially if I mixed it with alcohol. Now, I dont need to worry about my heart racing from a bunch of cookie dough. However, the lack of added sugar has caused me to start indulging in other unhealthy foods like pizza and fries more often, so I cant say I look or feel more fit.

Changes to your productivity? Yes, majorly. I struggle with prioritizing activities and would often spend a night baking sugary goods or venturing off to get ice cream instead ofpracticing healthierself-care habitslike calling a friend or going to yoga. Now that I dont have to track down my sugar fix every day,I have one less chore to complete and therefore feel less guilty about how I spend my time.

Suzy Strutner

Typical after-work activity for a sugar fiend: Bake cookies with different types of sugar, and label them to see which turns out best.

Changes to your relationships? Surprisingly,yes.Posting on social media about the challenge has gotten me in touch with friends I wouldnt talk to as often otherwise.One friend, for example, read my newsletter and sent me amazing sugar-free recipe recommendations. And my former roommate, who now lives in Germany, gave up added sugar too. We text about how its going on two different continents.

Im also more present in-person: During our weekly hangouts, my sister and I used to fight the chaotic L.A.traffic for our favorite frozen yogurt. Now, we sit and drink wine. Maybe wine isnt any better than froyo, but quality time out of traffic certainly is. And at parties, I can focus more on humans because Im not beelining to the snack table. These small changes truly result in more quality conversation!

What does an expert say about doing this? Is there any benefit? Theres no question that quitting added sugar could extend your life, prevent dementia, curb anxietyanddecrease risks of anxiety and heart disease, all while making you a more vibrant personoverall. No expert everpromotes the consumption of added sugar, so eliminating it can only help your body.

Would you do it again? Yes. This is a simplification of my life and diet that Id like to continue, so Im thinking of making it a weekday habit.If not, Ill definitely be back for more next year!

Previously: Heres What Happened When I Gave Up Complaining For A Month

Read more: http://huff.to/2pmWsJl

from I Gave Up Added Sugar For A Month And This Is What Happened