#yes i'm very fucked up over discord's update

[eoinmcgonigal]

So I saw a post about tumblr wanting to try this 'communities' thing, and I just gotta vent/say my piece. (the tl;dr is 'fuck that shit')

1. I really hate the current trend of fracturing and fragmenting things down into little pieces so they can be categorised into boxes. That's not natural. (Also, discord pushing threads, which I already detest for 1) making me feel like I'm gonna hurl from the violently dissonant, ugly layout, 2) the severely narrow topic problem, and 3) how neurodiverse-hostile they are.)

Like, naturally conversations meander. If you're only allowed to discuss one topic, it's gonna be stifling. You WILL run out of things to say. Making another little box isn't going to fix it, it'll just add to the clutter

2. Quite importantly, honestly, just stop fucking changing shit. It's unnecessary

3. It's not going to be neurodiverse-friendly. As if fandom hasn't changed enough to become increasingly unfriendly to people who are just here to enjoy their hyperfixation and/or special interest. I don't need another thing to learn to navigate. I don't need another place with different rules to carefully traverse. Yes, I'm fandom old and salty. I'm AuDHD and a spoonie with about half a spoon to spend on a good day. I do not have the energy to do all this switching about and jumping from thing to thing. It's exhausting. I want everything where I can find it, and where I can be passionate without having to perform tasks like it's some customer service job, or job interview

4. FOMO shit is toxic. This whole 'be a part of the thing!' necessity if you want to 'engage' or see the conversations and 'content'. Why? I guess it's a social media model that drives engagement, but the stress of it is going to fuck people up. What if you don't have the time, energy, health, spoons, social skills, etc? I have no idea how much interacting will be expected with other people in the 'community' but I can see it becoming a twitter-like circlejerk, and if you're not one of the 'in' crowd doing your required interaction/reblogging/commenting then you might as well not exist to that fandom/group

5. From the description, it looks like these things will be ripe for drama, toxicity, clique shit, becoming echo chambers, etc. because 'semi public' means you gotta opt in/join in some way and whatever's said isn't visible to any old user

Like, who is going to create and mod these things? Who decides what the rules are? What if your fave is 'problematic', or your kink is 'gross' (if nsfw is allowed at all), your take doesn't fit with fanon, or you are just a bit weird and people shun or turn on you for that?

I hope I'm wrong and either these things never happen or they're not as bad as I fear, but fuck sakes I have the above worries because it's shit I've seen happen time and time again, and I don't want to see given a place here

Also, genuinely, what the fuck is tumblr going to be like if you can't/don't want interact with these community things?

Quickly, 6. it creates an 'us' (in crowd) vs. 'them' (not part of our gang)

And then 7. who is going to be dominant in these 'communities'?

Yes, I'm upset right now, because tumblr was just fine (well, fine enough) until this point. I mean:

We have the ability to make sideblogs! (My Star Wars sideblog from... well a decade ago oops... is still out there, I don't touch it any more but I left it up for people to go through). Tumblr even made it so we can reply with sideblogs, which was a very neat update.

Tags!! I don't think it's as usual these days for people to go through tags to find new content, but that's how I do it, how I've always done it, and how I always intend to do it. I'm not following everyone who makes an SAS:RH post. I love you guys, but no. My dash would cause me to have a panic attack. It's already too much for me most days.

EFFORT!!!! I can be here every day full-time doing Stuff if I want! Or I can zone out for weeks if I want/need, materialise and contribute a silly meme, then drift off into the sunset again. If I 'miss' anything, I can go back through the tags, or scroll someone's blog. But honestly, who notices/cares on here if someone lurks or goes afk for a bit. It's super low pressure, because I'm doing what I can/want when I can/want

I want to opt in/out on my own time and terms. The thought of having to be part of a 'community' so I can see/not miss Content TM is freaking me out. I don't want there to be an 'appropriate' time window to interact with things like there is on other social media sites.

So, idk how the shit will look, but I don't agree with making things harder for people to access/find. I won't be posting stuff 'semi-privately'.

And you know what's super upsetting? The thought that I won't be able to see conversations and creations for things I love, because they're hidden away behind some complex new social thing I can't navigate. (Which is already an off-putting, ostracising problem on discord.) That's not how fandom communities should be.

The thought of there being less stuff 'out there' because it's in some 'community' somewhere... really not the direction I'd ever hope this site wold go in

I'm fuckin exhausted. Just lemme do my fandom whateverness without having to perform to some arbritary social interaction standard/requirements that I neither understand nor can do

[khorren]

Woo. Let's break down that news post with random responses.

I like the Astral Ward and I'm glad we'll be seeing more of them. Wizards can just go sit in a corner and think about what they didn't do.

Trying to stretch 3 updates out of Inner Nayos clearly wasn't working, and I'm glad they're addressing this splitting it into 2. Let's face it, the 3rd update added next to nothing to that map. I will gladly take a Bjora/Drizzlewood approach, and have the first quarterly update focus on the first 2 maps and whatnot.

"that first quarterly release will include something really exciting that players have been requesting for over 5 years" A lot of people are speculating the return of raids for this one, timeline adds up I think? Honestly, raids cannot come back exactly as they are. A big thing people liked about strike content is the story mode of well… the story. If raids come back please for the love of fuck give us a nice story mode version of it. I'm still bitter about a lot of White Mantle stuff being behind raids. I've since seen it thanks to lore people making lore-centric raid clears, but god that pissed me off. Ahem. Anyway.

Water stuff! Land water stuff! This looks promising. And the funky little buildings in the background. Very nice.

The retrospective roadmap of what they've added in the past year is pretty impressive. While some of that is just filler like the rush events, there was actually a fair whack of things that happened. Good times.

Keeping expectations and hype low until the blog post next week that will actually tell us things. Next Tuesday is a suuuuuuper busy day for me even before this, so aaaaaaaah. Excited. Yes.

Back to hitting people in Discord (affectionate)

[ffgallery]

oh hey uhm THIS blog exists gee whiz, it's almost like it's been in the back of my mind nonstop,

right so this won't be very formal but iv'e been meaning to write this for some time now; i originally put this blog on "hiatus" because of some engine issues with the game which resulted in graphical bugs regarding cubemaps ( models in HDR using LDR cubemaps which for whatever reason had a gigantic exponent making every metallic model glow like the sun, the game refusing to build/pack cubemaps for different dynamic ranges, other jank ) and other things. the issues COULD be manually fixed but at the time i didn't want to bother with every map i'd go over, having to spending hours fixing one bug.

howEVER, Fortress Forever has recieved an engine upgrade to SDK2013CE, which fixes many graphical bugs, and with like zero extra work makes SDK 2006 compiled maps look like 2 times better. the beta branch on steam has been live for like a week now & is intended to go public tomorrow ( as of me first writing this ). the update introduces some graphical issues of it's own ( namely, the engine versions handle alpha channels on shaders differently, so transparency looks quite different where it's used, especially on water, which is either almost invisible or almost fully opaque ) but it's LIKELY to be patched while in beta.

this means that MAYBE this blog will return to operation. when? idk lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but there's a high chance it will. i'll probably queue up like every map i can so the blog just coasts on it's own without chance of me fucking something up again, but i'm not sure on that yet. when i start with the "new wave" of posts i'll probably private the old SDK2006 posts.

i forgot what else i wanted to say with this post oh right Yes, people still play this game. Every day. :) we wouldn't have a new steam beta & an engine port if nobody played it dumbass. you can know when ( & how ) to play in the official discord, everyone is invited to join in on the fun, we've got both pubs and pickups organized nearly every day, most if not all timezones are covered.

okay i actually can't think of anything else to say now

[transfemsly]

I know i'm gonna probably seem like a bitch writing this but I feel like a good amount of the critic blogs make a unnecessarily big deal over the AUs (with some exceptions since I'll admit the Sly cum joke was indeed very weird). Kittycorn makes a lot of art of the AUs because it's a hyperfixation. Berating kit for it effectively does nothing. Saying this as a person who goes through them myself but sometimes it literally HURTS to not share and talk about the things I like and Kittycorn to my knowledge goes through that too. Yes it would be great if we were more updated on progress of the comic but realistically the creators have listened more when people reach out to them. Most of them are pretty young and don't have much professional experience which is something they shouldn't be treated like shit for. Actually going out of your way to discuss it with them whether it's from an ask, reply, or through their discord (if you're a member of it) has been a lot more helpful than masking away behind a blog dedicated to mostly negativity with the claim that you "just want to help the comic improve." I wouldn't make it an issue if some of these blogs didn't handle it so immaturely and unprofessionally. I'll be honest you're one of the few critic blogs I've seen to actually act mature. Like not to bitch on the others but c'mon some of them make big fucking deals over minor nitpicks. Don't get me wrong I don't hate critic blogs I think they can be effective it handled well. But come fucking on there's been literal transphobia, ableism, and just straight up hate in general from some of them.

while i agree the unnecessary hate towards kneeby regarding cometcare is frustrating, the main issue is just that kneeby crams all of kits content into squeaks, supposed, sparklecare-centric blog.

people, including myself, just dislike the cram of kneeby putting all her media (cometcare, darker matters, etc) into a blog thats meant to be used for updates and important notices on sparklecare. even then, the hate for cometcare and other media is most definitely insane and just plain stupid. i see that.

and even with the possiblity of contacting kneeby, most people are NOT comfortable with that. im not comfortable with that. many critics arent comfortable with that. kneeby is an adult and it is projected majority of the fandom and critics are minors, thus many arent gonna go up and find kneebys contact or even just dm kit on tumblr and list all these issues. i just personally dont think its professional to dump all of my issues with the comic on her either way, thus, i created this blog.

i wanted outside input on topics i find issues with in sparklecare and other kneeby media, as its not easy nor do i find myself comfortable just asking kneeby this and that and this issue and this and all that, yknow.

but yes, i guess i can say i handle criticism of sparklecare and other kneeby media "effectively" and "in a mature way". i dont like calling it that, but given the impression other blogs have created, i guess you could describe me as such.

[julietasgf]

Juli

I'M BACK (I never left, it just took me a while to respond because I need to think about my answers otherwise I'll ramble on ad infinitum and college beats me eh). I love talking to you so I hope it's not a problem I'll keep asking you stuff about these fascinating characters (The Plinth) and any other topics because I love your ideas and your takes.

About your reply on AO3, I can promise that I will start doing my own HCs on Strabo and Ma and you will be the first person I will show it to when I have written it. I must also say that I agree with you: while ships and romantic relationships are amazing to explore, platonic and familial relationships are just as interesting and deserve to have their fics and hc and analysis within the fandom. (Can we talk about the potential of Lysistrata as a possible friend of Sejanus in canon?)

Before I start with my rant of the movie (it's finally here, another day we will continue with the many other things like the war in Two, First Quarter Quell, etc jsjsjfjs) I come to pass you the link of the fic I mentioned and also to recommend you a new series of fics that recently appeared centered on Baby Sejanus during the war (please tell me what do you think!!!)

1. Bullets Over Two

It is being update I must warn but what is there is for now, is very good!

2. All I Long for is Home (Little Sejanus series)

I really thought it was magical when they sent the link on discord for this series. It has everything we love: Baby Sejanus, studied the dynamics of the Plinth and their experiences during the war!

Speaking of the Plinth. I think its function is both ways: they are clearly the immigrant experience and the difficulties of forced assimilation of coming from another country as identity crises but also USA is a very large nation and as you say, the culture shock within its own territory is enormous and continues to reproduce these dynamics of discrimination.

Ah yes I send you a big hug for the mockery. People really can be cruel. I don't get it, to me it seems like such a nice way to call mothers. 🥺

In my case I'm from the capital but my father is not, he came from a state and has told me a couple of truly traumatic experiences about the problem of fitting in. Ah

But well. The time has come for the rant.

First I would like to clarify that I loved the movie. Great cast, great direction, costumes and cinematography. The soundtrack is a fucking work of art. Iconic enough that I will forgive them for not adapting the snowjanus song from the book. I also think Coriolanus and Lucy Gray had more than satisfying and well done arcs.

In fact there were some changes to the story they made in the movie that seem to me to be great additions or reinterpretations of the text (Example. making Felix the president's son, killing him and having Dr. Gaul use his death to interrupt Reaper's act of direct rebellion -another change that as you can see I am into it-, Tigris serving with that line "You look like your father, Coriolanus", etc).

I don't have a problem with any of that. My big conflict comes down to their portrayal of the Plinth and the Academy students (I'm mostly talking about Clemensia but I didn't limit myself to her). As I said before the absence of the Plinth (Ma and Strabo) seems problematic to me, because they will be the worst crime of Coriolanus. They are the proof of how many limits he is willing to cross to get to power while being the force that is able to allow him to fulfill those ambitions. It's fucked up and very necessary to show in order to understand Snow.

I understand that the time was probably here what contributed to the fact that we only got to see them in a small cameo but gosh I think one scene. One little scene they could have given us. Besides it wouldn't have been a waste, because a lot of information about the Snow's we found out in relation to the Plinth.

What can I say?, I just feel sad every day that we don't have the scene of Coriolanus and Strabo talking in the movie. It's such a short but intense conversation.

With Sejanus my biggest complaint is that because the involvement of his family and family history is almost nonexistent, viewers of the film alone don't know a lot of much needed facts about who he is to see his nuances and there were changes that worked against reflecting his character as well as his situation.

The most extreme example that we have discussed before is the Sandwiches scene. In the movie, the credit is taken away from Sejanus, who was the only one to be concerned about the welfare of the tributes in the book. He was the first to try to approach them not to put on a show like Coriolanus but to try to offer them dignified treatment.

That Sejanus brought so much food. That he did not give up even though at the beginning no tribute wanted to approach and in the end his thing with Marcus will not be settled are actions that speak a lot about who he is. Since such actions don't take place in the film, it leaves an incomplete understanding of the character (which leads people in tiktok to have the worst takes on him in the world).

But this doesn't just happen with poorly executed scenes, it's present even in well done scenes like Sejanus responding to Arachne's bad comments. While it's a scene I adored and establishes well that Sejanus and his fellow academy members live in very different worlds, I don't think it quite captures Sejanus' situation well.

Although inferred, in reality outside of disagreements of opinion there is little in the film that if you don't know the context of the book, tells you very clearly that Sejanus has been harassed and bullied by his classmates for over a decade and the true extent of the hostility of the environment to him.

Which in part doesn't quite capture the reason for his desperation. Equally influential is that Sejanus begins with a higher pitch of protest in the films rather than the escalating spiral he faces in the book.

Now about the Sandwiches scene, I think we can all agree that it is made to make Coriolanus look much better than he acted in that particular situation and ultimately impacts along with other subtle changes in his behavior to make the character a more gentle and selfless version than his book counterpart.

And as you rightly said Juli, Sejanus is not the only character who is prevented from showing his virtues to 100, to favor the image of Coriolanus. This happens in fact with all the students of the academy. Especially with Clemensia.

I wanted to talk about Lysistrata but I feel the same problem with her as with the Plinth: they are practically nonexistent, and it is striking that the other character who genuinely showed concern for her tribute, sought to give him a humane treatment and was not particularly in favor of the games, was almost eliminated.

But I'll go with Festus. Who like other characters in TBOSAS - THG is a greyscale. He'll say wild and clearly poorly thought out things like suggesting the use of capital punishment and brute force to get more people to watch the games but he's also a kid who mourns the death of Arachne, the twins, eats at all hours, is funny, and told Clemensia she was cruel for not wanting to send food to her tribute. And he had a kind of connection with Coral.

According to Coriolanus he was also one of the few people who liked Sejanus more than the average student at the academy. Which says something about his persona, but more importantly in Coryo's own words.

Festus was his best friend and I was quite surprised at the kind of focus they gave him in the movie because not only is there more focus on his flaws but his moments with Coriolanus are more sparse. You wouldn't think they were friends. Again I'm not 100% complaining about that alteration and I can understand where it comes from (it was to give more focus on snowjanus "friendship") but here we have a character who to a lesser extent is reduced to being a mentor who doesn't treat his tribute with gentleness unlike Coriolanus and who seems to not be his friend. Just his classmate.

Which brings us to Clemensia. Who I think is worthy of a place in the "I was close to Coriolanus Snow and he ruined my life" club. I think people underestimate the weight of Coriolanus' actions when he decides to put himself first. When he decides to put her aside to ensure his own survival.

Clemmie is one of Snow's closest friends. And their relationship is the least complex compared to other important relationships in Coryo's life. Which I think is something that promotes the strength of their bond, as Dovecote is genuinely just a friend that Coriolanus spends time with.

It's not as wearing and multi-layered as his love hate Sejanus. Like the conflicts Lucy Gray stirs up and it's nowhere near as torturous as his relationship with Tigris. Coriolanus genuinely cares for her and they seem to understand each other well but this is what I think makes her the first victim.

I can't really say that Coriolanus will act badly in the whole situation. It was Gaul at the end of the day who did most of the damage; demanding that rehearsal from them even when Arachne died, lying to Clemensia to send a message to Snow.... But it is the turning point. Because Coriolanus is faced with a crossroads, what happens with Clemensia forces him to acknowledge what he has always known.

The Capitol does not care about protecting its people. The Capitol is cruel and oppressive. The Capitol subjugates them. He can't rely on institutions or adults to protect him.

And I can't blame him for his reaction, but it is his reaction that makes him complicit. He decides not to protest, not to argue, not to tell and not even to try to take care or to know about Clemensia once she disappears. He does it to ensure his own survival. To take care of his family in theory and other things but it is that point of fall where the debate opens up within him as to why his actions and what he is willing to leave behind in order to survive.

He runs away from her, unable to face the horror of his own inability to act or do anything else for Clemensia and while he awkwardly apologizes, for leaving his friend behind, it was this event that marks this point of who else he is capable of leaving alone as soon as they "become a threat" to his interests.

So I don't understand for the life, why they didn't shoot the scene of her in the hospital with snake scales? Clemensia and Coriolanus' arc IS VITAL. And removing it was a huge mistake, not only that, but changing Clemmie's attitude to make it look like she "deserved" what dr. Gaul did. It was honestly the worst decision. It just doesn't make sense. And I mean that in all seriousness. They didn't even complete her story *scream*.

But well, who I am to complain... On a happier note our beautiful LATAM AU. 🤭 Of course, Sejanus is the one who fights with Strabo every time there is a family reunion. His cousins try to eat at the speed of light before Sejanus starts saying things against the pigs politics who exploit people and Strabo tells him he's a dumb anarchist and stop questioning everything and then they start yelling at each other and have to take the kids somewhere else 😭😭😭

By the way it would be funny if Sejanus, is disinherits by his dad every christmas and he's like "I don't even care about your dirty money" but Coriolanus DOES CARE so he scolds him every time he says that and tries to talk some sense into him although the odds are also very high that he tried to convince Strabo to make him his heir instesd of Sejanus by chatting with him in the yard JAJSJSJSJSIS

Arg Coryo is good because Tigris has an album and a copy of that album with pictures of him dressed as a chick for a dance and other horrors. AND SIIII YOU UNDERSTAND VESTA IS THAT MOTHER WHO CAN DANCE EVERYTHING.

Rip Coryo and his two left feet. He let himself be led but was a very embarrassing companion for someone like Vesta who moves with grace. Sejanus offers to give him lessons so he doesn't make a fool of himself again at parties jsjsjshs

GOD IS CANON. LGB WOULD DEFINITELY GIVE HIM A NASTY POLITICAL CAMPAIGN SHIRT to (make fun of him). Also she has permanently threatened Coriolanus that if he is ever an unacceptable jerk again, she will funar him on social media 💀

STRABO IS THAT KIND OF DAD JSJSJS HE LOVES TELENOVELAS HE JUST REFUSES TO ADMIT IT BUT IT'S SO OBVIOUS. Imagine Sejanus and Coryo discussing telenovela villains and someone gets a fact wrong and Strabo is like "but this actually happened..." and saying he knows because Vesta told him but everyone knows that in his office he watches telenovelas in secret LMAO

About the daddy issues. This the scene

This is getting long already but I think daily about Coriolanus and Strabo's talk and then that time Coriolanus realizes he's acting like Strabo with Sejanus. Damn. I just know that if we would have had a snowjanus + strabo encounter. THAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED I SWEAR JSKSLS

😭😭

Coryo: Don't yell Mr. Plinth at Sejanus he is just trying to help...

5 minutes later:

Strabo: But don't give him the order yelling,young Snow, you should know Sejanus is sensible...

3 minutes later:

*both of them yell at Sejanus*

Sejanus: This is normal yes :)

Oh. I forgot my song.

1. New song sejarcus certified and yes it's an accurate portrayal of Strabo's father. Its crazy.

2. European Mexican warning: but I need you to see the video of Rosalia - millionaria + Dio$ nos libre del dinero. It's two songs that share one video and there's something there about Coriolanus and Sejanus and their relationship with money. Ehh

Now I will shut up for the moment.

HIII!!! I absolutely understand and 0 judgements bc I'll spend hours just writing a single answer bc time is needed (specially bc I'm a tad bit slow thinking in english 😭) also, good luck with college!! and aaaaaa I love talking to you, this is really sweet, feel free to ask or say anything, I'll be more than happy 🥹

YESSSSS PLS I'm now anxious to hear your thoughts, can't wait for them!!! I stand by the fact that ships are lovely, but there's a big lack of exploration for platonic dynamics and it's painful (and I say that as a platonic bairdplinth truther, snow can go to hell, let these two bond and be such an iconic duo). and yessssss I love lysistrata sm :( every single time her character appeared, all I could think was "omg why couldn't sejanus get closer to her instead of getting close to coriolanus?". there's just so much POTENTIAL here

YESSSS HERE COMES THE (DESERVED) RANT!! but about the fics: thank you sooooo much for sending the links!!! I bookmarked the first to read later, but the second, I've read the first work of the series when it was posted and it's SO GOOD <333 it's genuinely one of my favorite works that I've read recently, and I love how the author wrote bby sejanus' perspective regarding the war

yessss!! I'm not an usa expert (bc, well, I never lived there), but I've seen some interesting takes from people who are from there, but more specifically, are from the appalachian region; and these people were talking about how there's this whole view of people from that region being "uneducated" and other things (and how important it is that D12 is located in this region; I'm not sure if in the movie lucy gray have an appalachian accent because I SUCK at recognizing accents in english except for the texan one, but I know that when suzanne collins read a passage of the book out loud, someone pointed out that she gave lucy gray an appalachian accent).

(this also hits harder when there's a passage in the book where sejanus says him and lucy gray are very alike regarding this, not being able to fit in anywhere, except she had talent 💔)

thank you, this is really kind 🫶 some people will just be ignorant for no reason, just for the joy of being ignorant. and I'm sorry about the things your father went through :(

but okay, let's go to talk about the movie:

absolutely agree!! the movie is GOOD. straight up good. and as an adaptation, there are a few things I think they actually did better than the book:

the whole game, in general. I think the rythm got much more dynamic than it is in the book. I understand the book's purpose, but as a reader, it's slow. the changes made it more interesting and it worked in movie-form a lot.

the whole scene with reaper and the panem flag not only is gorgeous and strong and impactful, but it's so well-adapted, I just- I was really at a loss of words, because it IS much better than the book, imo.

wovey dying from the snakes instead of lucy gray poisoning her. it was an impactful scene that made me feel hopeless and horrible watching. even though the book is brutal, this death specifically made the movie much more brutal to me. that was a child begging to go home.

as you said, making felix being the one who got killed during the bombs. it just made more sense and it was gaul's perfect excuse. and it also makes us question more things: is it one child's life worth the life of 24 children?

but when it comes to coriolanus... oh boi. I have thoughts.

(before we get into it, it's worth saying tom blyth did an amazing job with the text he got; the forest scene was TERRIFYING, it made me genuinely scared and tense when watching it at the theater. plus, he has this constant look that just unsettles you. it makes you sense that there's something wrong with this boy, even though you can't really put your finger on what exactly. if there's such a thing as a perfect actor for coriolanus, that's tom blyth, no doubt.)

now, this is a feeling I personally have: the movie is an action dystopian movie. it would obviously want to appeal to this public, including people who never read the book in first place. so, to appeal more to the general hollywood public, they adapter coriolanus' character to be more of an underdog who goes through some sort of corruption arc. he's not an indocrinated, bigoted boy who thinks himself to be superior, who grows more and more power hungry, and this leads him to do things that are more and more horrible. in the movie, he's an ambitious boy, yes, but who goes through traumatic things and famine, and who, in the end, chooses himself in order to survive.

now, let's say the writers want to change this character to make him more appealing to the big public; after all, who would like watching someone like coriolanus thinking the things he think, specially about district people? and the way they seemed to do it was by not changing the core story, but omitting and toning down elements that make coriolanus seem much worse.

the plinths are definitely the most problematic of these characters who got omitted or toned down. the end in the film is not near as impactful as in the book. he killed their child. their only son. and then he comes back and acts as if he did nothing. he knew how much sejanus' mom loved him, then he kills her son and proceeds to call that boy's mom MA. he was SO sick for that. stealing someone's life is already bad, but there's so many layers that the more you look into it, the worst it gets. it's essential to understand that atp of the story, there's no turning back, because he isn't able to feel remorse anymore. he just doesn't care, and this is extremely important to know that THIS is the snow we know in the future. this is the snow that do horrible things to children, that mercilessly kills his opponents. that's how far he's willing to go.

I agree with you regarding the time, specially because the movie was already very long, but they could've given us one scene. at least one. if they inserted, for example, ma plinth going to talk to coriolanus abt sejanus being missing, I think it would already add a great impact (of course the scene of sejanus' death screaming for his ma is heartbreaking by itself, but when you know the context, when you see how close they were in the book, it's just MUCH WORSE, MY GOD). or in the end, a little scene with coriolanus and strabo talking abt coriolanus being their heir would already do a lot for the storytelling (I also think that was left a bit ambiguous in the movie).

(I also adore that scene of strabo and coriolanus, it gives us a lot of insight and I would've adored to have it adapted 💔)

sejanus in the book is a complex character that has a lot of nuances, and that's why I like him so much. when you look through coriolanus' lens, you won't really understand how depressing his situation is. coriolanus just looks to the fact that sejanus have money and is financially privileged, but mostly ignores the fact that the capitol is hostile to the plinths (coriolanus himself is hostile to the plinths! he doesn't say it aloud bc, well, he's coriolanus, but it's still there in his narration, and the way he talks about them), and sejanus was relentlessly bullied through his whole childhood growing up. he had no friend and not really a support network besides his ma. he was utterly alone in an environment that hated him, hated where he came from, hated his family. and he still turned out kind. and we see this in details through the book; the sandwich scene is the most significant, as you said, and it PAINS me that they cut it out, bc reading it, it was when it was clear to me that what coriolanus says about sejanus is not really reliable. sejanus brought food not only to marcus, he brought food to ALL the tributes. he wanted ALL of them to have something to eat. and he really didn't need to do it.

another thing that was poorly executed was that they basically got rid of the fact that he was suicidal. in the movie, it seemed like a naive kid thinking dying on that arena would be a good act of protest (which wouldn't be at all, as we all know it wouldn't be broadcasted). in the book, the whole thing regarding it being a form of protest is more secondary, because that boy was straight up trying to kill himself, and if it actually ended as some sort of protest, then it would be just a side thing. sejanus was in so much pain that he really thought that the only way he could make up to marcus was by dying, and then, after this whole thing, (if I remember right, but I may be remembering wrong) he had to be on sedatives because of how stressful and traumatic the situation was. and sejanus says AGAIN later in the book that he was planning to kill himself. it makes the whole rebel plan have much more sense, because OF COURSE sejanus wouldn't care it's dangerous, he doesn't seem to care about his life at all, he would know the risks and do it anyway, while in the movie it just seemed impulsive and (again) naive. and talking about the rebel plan, this is such a tiny details but it drives me insane how they changed the fact that in the book, he KNEW about the guns and he GOT THEM PURPOSELY, and this actually changes a lot how the public can view his character.

and as you said, all these changes lead to people on tiktok having the WORST takes on him, and I can't even judge them 100%, bc in the movie (imo) they DID make him much more spoiled and naive than he is in the book 😭

to wrap up my thoughts regarding sejanus because I talk too much: sejanus' arc is not one easy to the general estadounidense audience relate to unless you went through some similar experience, but when you did go through some similar experience, it hits HARD. and the book worked this very well, where in the movie, I swear some people I know that never read the book didn't even remember that he was district. it was very poorly worked, they toned down his character a lot, and it just doesn't sit right with me.

but now, let's talk about the academy students:

one thing that I find interesting in tbosas is that even though coriolanus is the worse, we can't really blame it on being from the capitol, because we DO see characters from the capitol who have the ability of being selfless and have empathy. and that makes you realize that, yeah, even though coriolanus is a product of his environment... it's still not justifiable, because we see good kids at the academy who aren't bigoted like him.

lysistrata is the BIGGEST of these examples. even though we see coriolanus being nice to lucy gray, we also read his thoughts and he mostly sees her as a possession, a thing to be possessed, not a human being. he barely sees her as equal. and we have lysistrata, who forms a genuine bond with jessup. there's a scene that I find really remarkable in the book. one of the academy students (I'm not really sure who, but I think it was hilarius) comments, in response to lysistrata saying jessup is a protector, that jessup is almost like "a loyal dog". and lysistrata immediately says that no, not like a dog. like a human being. like a protector. and lysistrata was born and raised in the capitol, she probably never got any contact with the districts, her family for sure have a lot of money for her to study in the academy... and she sees jessup as human. not as a possession, but as human. and they got almost completely rid of her character, and it really did make it seem like coriolanus was the only capitol-born kid who wasn't particularly cruel or xenophobic (when it's quite the contrary lol).

we barely see festus in the movie, and when we see, it's just him being kind of a prick (and I don't really understand why focusing on him being a prick specifically; there were other academy characters who would've served this purpose well; why, of all the academy students, pick right the one that was not hostile to sejanus? it genuinely got me confused, like, why, leave him alone 😭). I can absolutely see why they didn't focus on festus and coriolanus' screentime, and I'm also okay with it, but what bothers me is that changing him into just another academy student who's pretty much cold to his tribute removes the nuance of the story (in the book, we see plenty of academy students bonding with their tributes and feeling bad when they die, we see they are indocrinated privileged kids but who can still learn to be better and do better and unlearn all their bigotry; while in the movie, it sounds more like, academy students = bad, coriolanus = good).

clemensia DOES deserve her own small seat at the "coriolanus snow ruined my life" table alongside with sejanus, lucy gray and tigris 😭 I think she's very much forgotten when we talk about the people coriolanus hurt

coriolanus did clemensia so wrong.... of course it's not as bad or complex as he did to lucy gray, but as the book progresses, coriolanus goes down a spiral where the stuff he does to people around him get more and more and more cruel and more nasty and more unjustifiable. clemensia was when that spiral started. he calls her by a nickname, they pretty much grew up together and saw each other around a lot. she probably trusted him. she's a friend, just a friend, not a possession or someone he's straight up jealous of; as you say, it's not as important as the other 3 most important relationships we see in the book (coriolanus and lgb, sejanus and tigris), but it's still a relationship, and if anything, the most innocent and pure one. and also, clemensia DOES have her moments of goodness!!! unlike coriolanus, she's against betting on tributes, and she thinks watching the games is gruesome. of course, compared to all of his victims, clemensia isn't the worst; after all, if anything, dr. gaul is the one to have more guilt here. but he was still wrong for how he reacted to it (she was his friend!!! and he didn't say a thing!!! he puts his survival first and the person he cared about in second), and each victim he makes, the reasons and the motives get less and less justifiable. but overall, I can't really add more thoughts regarding clemensia, because you were pretty much on point, and I agree with EVERYTHING. everything, really.

and also, talking about the movie and how they made her arc incomplete: it really annoys me how they make it implied that she died ("caught a flu" and stuff), but we don't see a funeral, we don't see her friends grieving, we don't see nothing. I don't remember if we even saw her during the games, srsly; I genuinely can't remember, and if she wasn't there, who the hell mentored reaper? they just left him without a mentor and that's it? I can't really remember a case like that in the book, as all the mentors that died also had their tributes dying, so... yeah, clemensia deserved much better, they did her so wrong by making it seem like she deserved it and took profit from coriolanus' work (when in the book, she was actually mad that he wrote the essay because arachne JUST DIED and he's there writing an essay). again, small details, small things, minor characters that are really important to understand how FUCKED UP coriolanus is even to the capitol standards, and they got completely toned down or just changed to make him better and more of an antihero ig.

(in general, loved your thoughts, they were very well put and I basically agree with everything, it should be kind of a requirement to read the book before watching the movie because I can't stand some takes I see on twitter and on tiktok, specially regarding lgb and sejanus; LEAVE THEM ALONEEEEE)

LATAM AU my beloved <33 STRABO CALLING SEJANUS AN ANARCHIST, I'M SCREAMING because this is actually so on character 😭 the plinth family having to start the christmas dinner much before midnight because if they wait for it, they KNOW there'll be no vibe for it because sejanus and strabo are already at each other's throats. ma tried to ban alcohol once, because she thought that if strabo was sober then he would be more mature and not yell with sejanus, but it's no use because sober or not, him and sejanus WILL fight over politics (and it's even worse when it's election year, poor ma is so tired, SHE JUST WANTS A FUN NIGHT not a civil war inside her own house)

PLSSSSSSS every single year strabo going "I'm NOT going to leave my money to you, I don't know who I'm going to leave it, BUT IT'S NOT YOU", and when sejanus talks back, coriolanus is there next to him "babe <3 don't do that <3 I wanna be rich <3 if you don't, that's up to you <3 but I want that good life <3" but the thought of coriolanus trying to convince strabo to make him his heir is also too funny 😭 because strabo would be there slandering sejanus, but when coriolanus tries to slander sejanus too, strabo immediately glares at him and is like "who said you can talk about my son like that? 🤨"

coriolanus being so embarassed because vesta knows how to dance tango while he does not 😭 and imagine it being like on a party, it was the first time sejanus was introducing him to his parents, and coriolanus wanted so bad to make a good impression, just to make a fool of himself in the worst way possible. sejanus thinks it's cute tho when coriolanus goes to him having to put his pride aside to ask sejanus to teach him how to dance (because sejanus is vesta's son, he KNOWS how to dance too, I just know it).

lucy gray having a whole album on her phone just of pics to post online and expose coriolanus if he dares to be a prick again, I know that's right, if he doesn't want to behave by his will, then it'll be by force ☝️ and plus she's supported by tigris

HIM TRYING TO HIDE IT BUT ATP EVERYONE KNOWS IT 😭 and when he talks to sejanus and coriolanus abt it, the conversation lasts long, and he knows a lot of tiny details (because that man is an insane observer, he'll catch the tiniest details and actually guess the finale much before), and then coriolanus stops and goes... "wait, mr. plinth, how do you know all of these stuff?" and he tries to justify it and say that vesta told him, but these are TOO SPECIFIC details, vesta didn't tell him that

okay, so, I watched the scene, and I'M CACKLINGKSKSKSDKKSDKSDKDS I just KNOW that if we got a scene of these three characters together, it would go pretty much like that 😭 it's even more funnier if this is an au (a modern setting), and sejanus takes coriolanus to meet his father, and just then when he puts coriolanus and strabo side to side he realizes that these two are actually TOO alike and he starts to reconsider most of his life choices

EUROPEAN MEXICAN TRIGGER WARNING (I'll never NOT laugh at it, that's historical reparation 😭) but I watched the clip, and YESSSSS you're so right!!!! and again, coriolanus and sejanus serving as a foil to each other and being on opposite ends (specially because in sejanus' case, that money comes from selling guns that kills people and children, that's blood money, and the lyrics just fit him so well)

but anyway, it was amazing hearing your thoughts, hope to see you soon buddie <3 take care!!

[moonlit-arts]

Okay so uh... Update on myself and my buckshot comic........... Cus I disappeared..........................

1. Before anyone asks, yes, I'm fine, no I'm not quitting or dropping the project.

2. So the reason why my comic has been heavily delayed from when I first announced when it would be posted was because my dumbass forgot I still need to make things like lore, character outlines, story outlines, and outlines for each chapter/episode, so I thought I could just wip up a comic and throw it at you, come to find out, 20+ pages into making the first part of the comic, IT LOOKS LIKE FUCKIN SHIT, nothin makes sense, and the it's cringe as fuck, so I dumped that demo, not only that, I had to redesign preexisting characters and make new characters, and find out how the fuckers tie together in the damn story

3. I decided it's no longer gonna be a buckshot roulette comic but instead a comic heavily inspired by it, mainly because the last thing I want is starting drama about how "furry ruined buckshot" or "WHYS THE MAIN CHARACTER A FURRY?!??!" and over all being called a furry. Time. And time. And time again. Already had people jump me on discord because of it when I showed off bits and pieces of the damn comic demo. So it'll be it's own universe, but for things like character QnAs/ask the cast type things, she'll sorta be in the buckshot universe???????? Like dealer will be there.... Doing dealer things..... Aka being a beer dad

4. Right now, me and my sister and some of my friends have been working together to write the story and lore for the characters, along with adding in my friends OCs and my sisters OC as well, so don't worry, we're working on it, it'll just take a while lot longer especially since I have an event I'm doing for youtube, along with other huge projects

Other then all that, I am working on it, dont worry, the comics gonna happen, it's gonna come out, and I do plan on posting a lot more bc I'm ditching tiktok for very very obvious reasons.... Anyways, thanks for reading, stay safe silly jellies!!!!!! :3

[bogunicorn]

Here is my one and only thing to say about this whole... AO3 algorithm thing. Ready? Here it is, super controversial:

Most of the complaints about the structure of AO3 - as in, the search function, the bookmarking, that sort of stuff, not the arguments about what's in the content that's posted - can be boiled down to people basically saying, "I wasn't curious enough to look up a solution to the issue I'm having, or wasn't self-directed enough to figure out a system that works for me, and it's less embarrassing to complain as if my refusal to do so is someone else's problem."

Now, yes, are there actual structural complaints to be made about AO3? Of course! I'd love to have things like be able to block specific authors or tags by default just built into the account, or even just floating comment boxes (rather than needing a browser extension for those things, which does exist). I'd love to see IP banning become available to make anon harassment more difficult.

But this current little spat of complaints is an update of some older, consistent complaints that can be solved either by: the complainer learning how to use the site, or AO3 becoming social media. And the second one isn't going to happen. I'm not, like, harshing a buzz here, it's literally not social media. There are no private messages, no feeds, the inbox is only for comments and replies to your comments. There is deliberately no feed for, like, things the people you're subscribed to have bookmarked or something. They made it that way on purpose and they're not going to try to change it just because a handful of people with their brains still solidifying are getting crabby about it. There is a reason that you have to subscribe to people instead of "friending" them, there's a reason there's no, like, blogging feature or messaging system or even the ability to set up a feed for anything in browser.

AO3 wants you to be social about fic somewhere else. They expect you to go to tumblr or twitter or discord or, I don't know, fucking carrier pigeons to keep track of stuff they don't have built in. Because once it's inching toward a true social media platform, once we start doing things like automatic feeds, recommendations, algorithms, an app, whatever, then there are community considerations to be made regarding content. Those are the cracks that gives censorship leverage.

Plus, like, you don't want an algorithm anyway. You know what algorithms are for? Selling you shit. Turning you into a sellable product. Driving engagement, which inevitably means rage farming. Every social media algorithm present on the big sites is there to feed you things you'll interact with, and the algorithm doesn't know the difference between joy and drama.

There's already a harassment issue on AO3. You want more harassment on AO3? An algorithm is how you get more harassment on AO3, because it's going to funnel people toward fics that people are already mad about, just like it does on tumblr and twitter and insta and tiktok and facebook and whatever other algorithm-powered shit there is. People in fandom already dogpile each other on other sites over what's on their AO3, the OTW isn't going to help you do it.

But none of that matters because it's just... it's not going to happen. Even if AO3 wanted an algorithm (which it does not, very emphatically and by design), managing one is expensive, hiring the people to create it is expensive, everything about it is expensive and time consuming. So, like, don't worry about it. And if you wanted one, idk, that sucks for you but I'm sure you'll recover.

AO3 expects to give you tools and let you do the work. Curating your own experience is your job, not theirs. Yes, you may have to manually trawl through your friends' bookmarks, oh no. Some large fandoms or super popular pairings even have tumblrs run by bots that post every single thing that shows up in that pairing tag, if that's your thing. Hell, just straight up ask people who wrote your favorite fics what their favorite fics are with the same pairing, and they'll probably go look them up for you!

Oh, also, if you're going to complain about AO3 as if it's doing something to spite you... at least make sure it's about a feature that takes someone more than 5 seconds to go look up and screenshot for you. Or at least go through your settings first and make sure you don't have shit like not asking for confirmation on explicit works turned on or something, since people just love getting sooooo pressed about "not being able to avoid smut" or whatever.

[cmdonovann]

Accomplishments! Quantum Break fansite in progress!

(originally posted June 8th, 2023; crossposted from dreamwidth.)

Well, I removed Tumblr from my phone to prevent me from wasting so much time there, which means I now have nowhere to easily and quickly post my inane thoughts (at least not without feeling like I'm bothering people on Discord or in direct messages, though perhaps that's something I should work on). You know what that means! It means I'm probably going to try posting them here instead. Thing I want to post about: I'm making a Quantum Break fansite! I've been wanting to do this for ages, and actually started putting together a couple of little graphics for it during the "Quantum Break Appreciation Month" event I ran on Tumblr in April, but I hadn't made much progress on the project since then... until the past few days, anyway, when I started brainstorming what I actually want to do with the site, how I want to lay it out, and so on. Yesterday I put together some CSS for the site, and today I did The Hard Part: I set up a git/GitHub repo for the site, and got the "deploy to neocities" script working for it, so I can easily and quickly make updates to the site in VSCode, then push from there to GitHub to neocities all at once, like I do with my personal site. Was this an absolute pain to set up? Yes! Somehow, it took me even longer to do it a second time than it did the first! But I did it myself, with a lot of encouragement and rubber duck-ing from a few very helpful people in the Fandom Coders chat. Can't say I'm not proud of myself for that. I would not have had the skill or confidence a year ago to do something like this, especially not all the mucking about I did in the terminal trying to set up the git repo in the first place. Anyway, I am, to put it mildly, extremely fucking excited to continue working on this site. I've got big plans: first order of business is to get an archive set up of all the Quantum Break fanfic I can get my hands on (and get permission from the authors for). After that, I'm probably going to do the same for fanart and image edits like photosets and gifsets from Tumblr, since the CSS page styling for those will likely be similar (though I expect to run into some attribution problems with older Tumblr posts, what with so many deactivated or moved blogs post-2018). Once that's sorted out, I'm considering looking into the best way to archive fanvids, but honestly that might be put off for a while longer, as video hosting and video players are way out of my skill level currently. Maybe I'll import some of my Quantum Break playlists from my personal site, too? Oh yeah, and at some point down the line, I want to make a searchable wiki with transcripts of all the in-game narrative objects. But "searchable" is probably going to be a stumbling point there, and transcribing takes ages, so this will be last priority, I think. Wow, that's... a lot, actually! Damn! This is gonna take a while. Not that I mind spending a couple of years poking at a project, obviously. *Gestures at my longfic that took four years to finish...* I've been neck deep in this fandom for over seven years, what's another five or ten? XP

btw, since it's fairly easy to post images on tumblr (compared to dreamwidth, anyway), here's a screenshot of the section that's currently in progress: the fic archive index!

(ignore my filler text... i usually use karkalicious as my lorem ipsum, so at least i'm not committing THAT particular crime here.)

i'm still futzing around a little with the styling (negative margin my beloathed) but it's coming along pretty well! i've already got a branch where i've started... you know, actually adding fic to the site, but i won't merge that into the main and add a link to the front page until the style problems have been fixed (or at least, fixed enough to be easily navigable on mobile, which... is not the case right now, lolrip).

[lychniis]

Heres a whole grab bag for that tag game: every tenth question >:3c

you're really putting me up to this huh-

10 - do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

multiple. i will chose any route that will eventually fuck me up because my brain has many idea and wants to write n o w. i do have casual fics at the side that i don't feel half as pressured to update...they're more of 'writing practice' in a sense.

20 - do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

b o t h. you cannot make me chose, i shall chose both, they're both my babies, my babygirls. but i do like diverging from canon sometimes, even though it's mostly unintentional at first ( with genshin's lore being far from complete ).

30 - how much do you edit your fics?  do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

the sole reason why memory took as long as it did was because i edit as i write. i mostly finish the first draft, but if the length o the fic is longer, i tend to edit as i write it down. it saves time having to scour an entire document for errors since my attention span is non existent XD.

40 - what is your favorite world that you’ve created for a fic?

...for fanfics, i'd say it's what i have in store for memory ( there's one chapter with a hidden market run by scam artist apsaras and it is glorious XD ).

for original fics, it would have to be the 'small city with no name' from my original concept 'and here the city ends'. the place is set right on top of a seraphim graveyard with a creepy magic wood and one eldritch subdimension created from a collective hivemind and the souls of dead animals.

the wild hunt is also a thing in said fic. i always entertained the idea of tired dad gwyn ap nudd whose wild hunt is now posing as a motorcycle gang with the onset of urbanization. ( you know all about it, moth- )

50 - how would you describe your writing style?

inconsistent. a lot of people say it's poetic, but i say it's inconsistent. sometimes it's short and snappy. sometimes it's flowery. sometimes it's descriptive...there's a lot going on, chief. but i'd like to find one that i'm comfy with writing soon though.

60 - in [insert fic], what inspired the idea for the plot?

i had to hunt you down in discord for this. hmmmm, okay so it's a funny story. i like listening to carl sagan's talks on the universe, even if i don't understand a few concepts. he always has something really cool and philosophical to say, y'know?

anyway, this was actually a favorite quote of his, and after some research, i did read up about how the base elements were created and scattered through supernovas, and how our atoms were made from old stars.

and my brain went "lol, imagine getting yote into genshin and spouting this out, your partner would be so confusion' and since it was a little past diluc's birthday, i mulled over the idea of a reader who misses their home world and it went nuts from there.

70 - are you subscribed to any writers on AO3?

yes, quite a few. you're my first XD.

80 - free space - asker can come up with any writing or fic-related question they want!

i will forever stay loyal to li.

but xiao is one, along with diluc ( i like my boys angsty sometimes too ). amongst the girls, shenhe is a definitely because of her very straight laced, deadpan attitude as well as ei XD ( i actually have a wip featuring ei in the works ).

i am interested in writing capitano and itto ( since simp for one and covet the other ). wanderer is also growing on me so him too XD.

in demon slayer, it's kyojuro. definitely kyojuro along with sanemi and inosuke.

ask game

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

fuck yeah love these writing ask games! tagged by the awesome @seavoice!! thanks so much for tagging me :D

post the names of the last five files in my wip folders —regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

full disclosure i've hit a writer's block so bad the likes of which any writer would hate to see and haven't written at all or started anything in like,,,, 2 months. maybe more. oTL i'm dying over here. so i'm gonna cheat and post some ideas that i'd like to write, in the order they're in my personal discord channel for writing ideas. the first one is smth that is a wip tho.

also a lot of these also don't have official titles lol

1 long story short : yes it's named after the thing you think it's named after iykyk. a pet project of mine. oc-centered story, takes place in the pjoverse. third installment of this series, takes place in toa, and it's abt an oc child of apollo who fell in love with luke in the og pjo series and is now just going thru it and facing the consequences of that decision. still going, even tho i update even slower than i did for my last two stories in this series ;; oc is op. read at your own risk lmao.

2 faceblind!yuuri cinderella au : yuri on ice. yuuri being faceblind is canon to me as far as i'm concerned bc he doesn't recognize yuri p. twice and doesn't recognize minami initially, even tho he beat yuuri at nationals that past yr lol. not to mention minami has mc anime hair. the rest of what it's abt is in the title lol

3 what remains of jason grace : a what remains of edith finch au for jason grace from hoo/toa. what remains of edith finch is a beautiful game about edith finch revisiting her old family home after her mother's death. the last finch left alive. came up with this idea when thinking abt one of my favorite white boys jason grace. wanted to write smth similar to the game, smth that's as melancholy and heart-rending. i imagine it smth like jason wrote a journal after hearing the prophecy from herophile in tbm, and this was what was in the journal.

4 nie huaisang v jin guangyao : cql/the untamed/mdzs. would be a character study. would be extremely difficult. it's very hard to explain if you don't know the source material/have not watched the show/donghua or have not read the books/manhua, but these two characters parallel each other in multiple different ways in the narrative, and one of them is unknowingly battling the other in a game of wits, with the other characters in the story as their puppets and suffering the most consequences from the actions of these two, who mostly work behind the scenes until the reveal in the finale. and i think it would be a cool character study to write abt that battle bc it's not focused on enough in the source material imo

5 diary of luke castellan/halcyon green : it's actually fitting seavoice is the one to tag me! bc ever since i read their post abt hal/luke's diary and incorporating it into toa i've wanted to write a story that explores this more, but in a playwright format. bc i think it would have a lot of impact as a stage play, focusing on those quite moments between apollo and meg's travels, when he gets a chance to sit down and read thru the diary. at the very least, i envisioned it in that environment when i first read their post.

tagging the few peeps i know who write on the reg (and are moots). feel free to do this (or not): @spooderham @lucifers-favorite-child @talking0fmichelangel0 @bisexualoftheblade

thanks again for the tag!!

[book--wyrm]

I suppose this is out of the blue (or maybe not I saw your post in the rhaenicent tag, yes that one) and I felt? like I don't know called out?

Because I usually read and am left teeming with questions and want to asked the author about the why's and the how's but then I don't want to be a bother. And I always assume it'd be a bother for some reason?

So, there's the why now. And here is the what: I'm so unbearably curious about The Long Road Home!!!

Like is it discontinued? Is it coming back?

What happened next? Does Alicent fully believe Rhaenyra's offer of friendship? Is Rhaenyra going to offer for her to leave the RK inspired by Tylands recovery and fuck it up in the delivery like she has been doing in past chapters?

Them getting together is clearly aways of, but when they do, is it healthy-ish? And when they eventually fuck (because they will) is Alicent trauma going to light up like a Christmas tree? And how will Rhaenyra handle it? (And Alicent's consent is going to be clear cut? Or is it going to be sort of another misunderstanding between them?)

Will Daeron get the wrong idea of that situation? Like will he assume that indeed Rhaenyra is The WorstTM and actually using Alicent like a sex slave?

If this sort of question bombing is welcome then answer whatever you like!

(Love your writing by the way! -somehow I think I should have led with that)

First of all, this kind of question bombing is absolutely welcome—I will literally never shut up about my fics if people let me talk. Send as many questions as you want into my inbox and I’d be happy to answer as much as I can without spoiling future chapters.

Second, Long Road is not discontinued, never fear. I've kind of just run into a big snag in writing it, and am just now getting back into the swing of things. You actually sent this anon just as I was about to start a writing sprint for Long Road lmaooo.

So yeah, Long Road is coming back, but I don't know when. For reasons, I've entered into a block of chapters I always intended to post in quick succession, so I have to write them all, plus I need to make edits to previous chapters to bring them more in line with the fic as I intended. It might be some time before I publish a new chapter. On the plus side, once I start posting again I'll have a buffer of about seven chapters so it'll be regular updates for a while after that.

As for your questions, I can't fully answer some of them for spoiler reasons, but I'll answer them as best I can:

"Does Alicent fully believe Rhaenyra's offer of friendship?"

No. That's actually one of the things that I'm editing in previous chapters (all edits will get rolled out when i start posting again). I think I've been writing Alicent dropping her guard too fast and it's fucking up my pacing all sorts of ways (serialization is a curse lol), so Alicent is going to be more wary in the last couple chapters, and the ones moving forwards, at least for a while.

"Is Rhaenyra going to offer for her to leave the RK"

Yet another thing I'm not satisfied with. I feel like I focus very much on the emotions of my characters, and haven't really gotten across adequately that Alicent and her family are like... still very much political prisoners. The Dance has not even been over a full year at this point. This is a problem in my writing, to be clear—Rhaenyra rarely thinks of their situation in that light, and Alicent's more recent trauma has been overshadowing the fact that she really hasn't been free since the Fall of Kings Landing about... two years ago, give or take a couple months? The point is, I am not going to confirm or deny Rhaenyra letting Alicent go, but it is not something done easily or lightly.

"Them getting together is clearly aways of, but when they do, is it healthy-ish?"

Yes. As much as certain people in the Rhaenicent discord like to paint me as a purely angst writer, I have always intended for this fic to end with a good ending for Alicent, the beginning of the rest of her life. No fear I'm not going to hard pivot into Alicent getting thrown back into another toxic romantic/sexual relationship. Girlie's had enough of those for a lifetime.

Though I still have ideas for more Maegorverse AUs, so. Maybe in a side fic.

"And when they eventually fuck (because they will) is Alicent trauma going to light up like a Christmas tree?"

You know, I don't actually know if they will. Certainly not in the main fic, but after Viserys, Larys, and then Mysaria, Alicent's attitude post fic might honestly just be "no." I can say that whatever she settles on, both she and Rhaenyra will be satisfied. I might explore that after I'm done with the main fic, how Alicent feels about having sex after everything.

"Will Daeron get the wrong idea of that situation?"

Daeron is interesting because on one hand, he's heavily biased from grief and trauma, and doesn't have a lot of the context for Rhaenyra and Alicent's past. But of the remaining Greens, he's probably the most clearheaded and rational. Alicent is more trauma and hypervigilance than anything else at this point in her life, and Helaena has retreated into her own mind out of grief. Jaehaera's fine-ish but she's also like 8. So while I'm not gonna say rn how Daeron takes any of what happens, I will say, he's stubborn and biased and suspicious, but he's not irrational. Far from it.

Thank you so much for sending in these questions! Feel free to keep chatting with me about Long Road—it's never a bother.

[hua-fei-hua]

AAHHH HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥺 ilysm thank you for existing 🎉🎉💝💖💞💓💘💝

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA TYSM ;W;;

AF;ASDFAHF ILYT~~~~

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(this was a prompt sent via discord and is really and truly, and i mean this very seriously, hot fucking garbage. a wolfstar meet...cute via butts and wrong text messages)

We're back at the hospital because James lit his butthole on fire again.

You have the wrong number but PLEASE keep me updated, oh my fucking god.

Oh. Shit. Sorry

No! I want to hear everything!

It's a long story

I have time if you do.

I'm sitting in the hospital waiting room while my friend gets his butt bandaged. I have endless time.

Call me. I love a good butt story and my Tuesday evening has been far too quiet.

Remus ordinarily didn't make it a habit of talking on the phone, let alone dialing the number for a complete stranger. But he was alone in the hospital waiting room, surrounded by people waiting for their loved ones, outdated magazines. Someone down a few seats kept clearing their throat anxiously; a child was kicking their legs and making the whole bench shake, their mother sending apologetic glances. The night had been weird enough, this might as well happen too.

Ring

Ring,

"I am on the edge of my seat," the voice on the other end said. Deep, and slightly scratchy, like they had just been smoking, with a crisp accent, "and I have a few questions."

"Do you want your questions answered first?"

"Kind of."

"Alright?"

"Who is James and why was his butt over an open flame?"

"My best mate. And..it...wasn't really."

"Well, why was he running around pantless?"

"I...asked...him to. Sort of. Also...not really, but...yes mostly," Remus started slowly, realizing how that statement sounded and he felt his face flush. He stood up from his seat and walked to a different part of the waiting area, knowing full well his embarrassment was about to get worse.

"I mean, good for you, mate. Run a tight ship?"

"Fucking hell, not like that--"

"So he didn't take off his trousers and pants because you asked him to?"

"The situation is a lot more nuanced if you'd like to listen."

"Sure, sure, one thing? What's the hospital?"

"St. Mungos. That's not important."

"Right, right, sorry, continue."

....

James Potter never did anything by halves. Remus had known him since they were eleven, and even in their twenties, James's brain screamed go big or go home.

Even though it usually ended in go so big you have to go home, Remus making mental notes of the hospital trips and the pubs they had been kicked out of for doing something, in retrospect, very stupid. Remus couldn't help himself. It was too easy goading James, and it was too much fun watching his ridiculous ideas come to life. And Remus worked an incredibly boring desk job. Returning to their flat after a long day and doing something stupid with James had always been his favorite way to blow off steam.

That day it happened to be throwing cheese puffs into James's mouth from increasing distances across the room.

"At least try to make it challenging, Remus!" James said around a mouthful of cheese puff.

"You could take off your glasses?"

"Remember when we did that last time?"

Remus did. James had tripped and broken their glass coffee table. 13 stitches on his friend's arm.

"Okay, what...if...I lit them on fire?" Remus suggested and a wide smile split over James's face. "They'll probably go out mid-air...just maybe have water...nearby?"

"Safe."

"Definitely."

"Let's do it."

It was all fun and games. It always was. Remus grabbed his lighter from the back of his jeans lighting the cheese balls on fire and sending them across the room. It was certainly harder this time around, with the added element of adrenaline as some of the flames didn't make it into James' mouth and threatened to singe the carpet instead, Remus on high alert to stamp out the flames that lingered far too long. James was quick to drink water, the cheeseballs just hot when they passed through his mouth but never fully aflame.

"This is too easy! It's all the same!" James shouted after landing four half-lit balls in his mouth.

"I don't think the sport of cheeseballs is particularly competitive, it might be okay."

"What else you got?"

"Catch them in your butt."

"Yes."

"James I was joking."

"Too bad," James was already unzipping his fly, and Remus knew no matter what he said at least one cheeseball was going to be sent flying towards James' ass. James pulled the waistband of his briefs down with his jeans, turning around and bending over, so his arse was up in the air, "Do it!"

"James--"

"Do IT!"

"This very much confirmed that I have no interest in going into the medical field," Remus said dryly. "Quads are nice though."

"You're too kind, mate, I've been trying to squat more, you know, tired of the jokes about missing leg day."

"Who was making those jokes?"

"Everyone!"

"Everyone?"

"Yes!"

"Can't argue with that logic," Remus said, stepping closer to James, "You might have to spread your cheeks or something if you actually want to catch--"

"I was going to! Come on, you act like you've never thrown a cheeseball at a man's butthole before!"

"Believe it or not--"

"Please, I hear you in that room of yours, there's not a chance in hell---"

"You know what? Shut up and spread your cheeks, Potter," Remus said slipping his thumb along lighter and holding the cheeseball above it.

Remus had expected it to put itself out before it reached James's skin.

He had even expected it to land somewhere on the carpet.

But Remus watched in slow motion, as this particular cheeseball, thrown at a much closer distance, made its journey through the air landing on the ground just as James lost his balance for the first time in his life, toppling backward, his arse lining up perfectly with the open flame. A comedy of errors. It didn't feel real.

It took a moment.

And then.

"REMUS MY BUTT IS ON FIRE, MY BUTT IS ON FIRE."

"WELL PUT IT OUT!"

"YOU PUT IT OUT!"

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?! GO SIT IN THE FUCKING SINK OR--"

"COME BLOW ON MY BUTT!"

"I'M NOT BLOWING ON YOUR BUTT, JAMES!"

"REMUS MY BUTT IS ON FIRE, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO HAVE STANDARDS ABOUT--" Remus grabbed the glass of water that James had been using for safety, throwing the remainder of its contents at his friend's backside, the flames that had clung to tiny hairs on James's skin, extinguishing.

Another silence.

"I'll get the keys."

"I'll get my arse pillow," James said, "My mother is going to murder me."

....

"So uh...that's...that. Just your friendly game of...fire-butt."

The man on the other side of the phone had been laughing consistently for about five minutes. He had started when Remus had explained his suggestion for James to take down his pants in the first place.

"You're a really good friend, mate," the man said through laughter. It was loud and carefree. It made Remus want to laugh too, even though it was at his expense.

"He didn't have to do it!"

"You threw fire at your friend!"

"Okay...yes and for a moment...it...looked like it would be okay?"

"I still have a question though."

"What's that?"

"Well, two."

"Okay?"

"Are you the tall bloke near the wheelchairs on the right-hand side of the reception desk?"

"What?" Remus scanned the room, looking frantically for someone else who was on the phone, only to drop his almost immediately. His phone screen might as well be shattered too. Remus's mouth went dry as a man with dark hair wearing a leather jacket walked towards him, taking his phone away from his ear. He was holding flowers in his other hand, wearing a smile that catapulted Remus into another reality.

Never mind that Remus just told this Greek Demi-God he was responsible for his friend's hospitalization. Never mind that Remus had admitted to being responsible for several other hospitalizations and having the impulse control and sense of humor of an errant teenage boy. His face flushed as the man got closer and Remus could see tattoos and high cheekbones and a tight t-shirt that didn't leave anything to the imagination. Remus very much wanted to play fire-butt with this man.

"Are you the arsehole accomplice?"

"That's...please don't call me that."

"Butthole bandit?"

Remus couldn't help but chuckle, "Stop it."

"Derriere Delinquent."

"How many have you got?"

"Caboose...culprit? I think that's it," the man grinned, now standing in front of Remus, "Do you have an actual name, or do you want to choose your favorite?"

"Remus. Derriere Delinquent wasn't bad though."

"Sirius, nice to meet you. Thanks for accidentally texting me, you've...effectively made my night," Sirius said scanning Remus with light eyes that he couldn't place the color of.

"Yeah... I uh...can see how this might end up okay, after all." Remus said, "What's with the flowers?"

"For your friend. With the burnt butt."

"That...was nice of you."

"I figured someone should be concerned with his well-being seeing as though you're the one who put him here in the first place."

"Fair enough." Remus shook his head, his heartbeat speeding up slightly at the strangers' quick remarks.

"I still had one more question."

"Oh?"

"....Your...text said again," Sirius said, "As in...his butt specifically had been lit on fire...before."

"Oh. Oh...no. Did I say again? I don't think I did. I think you--"

"No, I most definitely remember you saying again."

"Well...that's a story too."

Sirius looked around the waiting room, "Looks like we've still got time."

[unforth]

Advanced warning that I'm not doing any year end memes cause I just don't have the bandwidth right now, so apologies to the folks I know already tagged me. BUT, I do annual resolutions in the Profound Bond Discord, and here's my status update from last year, and my goals for this year, in case anyone is actually curious.

End of year:

Personal Goals for 2021

I’d like to start running again: I did a little over the summer, and I've done yoga on and off all year, which is small progress but still progress?

Maybe try to lose a little weight: I lost 10 lbs! 30 to go to be where I want to be. I'm pleased with my progress tho.

I also want to try to finish my “deal with fatigue” goal from 2020: I got my ADHD diagnosis in May and say my PCP in June. She prescribed Concerta, which YES basically fixes my fatigue issues and it's so fucking nice to not be tired all the time of my fucking God guys.

Community Goals for 2021

Answering comments: basically a failure. Oh well.

Continue to support my friends’ creative efforts, maintain my side blogs and encourage others to create: among other things, I ran a challenge in May that resulted in over 100 fics being written! I ran two kink memes (the other just opened a few days ago), I ran 7 or 8 art blogs to support artists, and generally...fuck yeah done and done.

Creative Goals for 2021

Keep up my “post once a week": HAHAHAHAAAAA No. Not even counting blogging. Oh well.

Finish my two outstanding commission WIP (ideally by the end of January): noooooope.

Finish editing and finally fucking publish The Long Road: nope

Manage 15k words a month and 500k words for the year: extremely nope (I've had a really rough fall yall, sigh.)

Make my Super Secret Project a reality: ABSOLUTE SUCCESS. I started my own business, a book publisher called Duck Prints Press that works with fanfiction authors and artists to publish their original work! I considered this my most important 2021 goal and succeeding at it makes me extremely happy. Our first Kickstarter in July - August raised $25000 dollars, we got the book to backers in early November, and early reviews are very positive. Our next KS was supposed to launch today but my health didn't allow it, but we're gonna strive for mid-month instead. I'm very unhappy with how a lot of my personal 2021 went, specifically my writing, the rest I can live with, but knowing I actually did something this big, and still am, makes up for a lot.

So, mixed, I sacrificed a lot of my personal creative goals to make the business a success and ya know, I'm basically okay with it.

Onward to 2022:

Personal Goals

Get My Back Fixed: this is what fucked up my fall. I'm already working on this; I have an MRI in two days. So, odds my failing to at least make progress on this goal are zero. Here's hoping they can actually do something for me.

Keep losing weight: I got myself down from 195 to 183 last year. If I can end next year in the low 170s I'll call that a win; my actual goal is 150 to 155 but if I can do even 10 lb a year I'm fine with that, I can wait.

Exercise: considering they're gonna make me do PT for my back I think this one won't be a problem. Doesn't have to be running or a lot but if I can manage 10 minutes of something active three times a week I'll take it.

Study Chinese: I've been studying daily since September. I want to keep that up all year, and finish or at make significant progress on the book I'm translating (Sha Po Lang, it's 1400 pages, it's taken me 6 weeks to get half way through page 4, so finishing is...ambitious. but I'm trying to get up to a page a week which will help...)

Community Goals

Encourage Others to Create: really just keep doing what I'm doing. And I want to run May Trope Mayhem again. And I love my art side blogs, seeing so much art brightens my day. If possible I'd like to be a little more engaged/active in making the Kink Memes I run a success.

Keep Up the Destiel Archive: this was a goal last year too I just didn't list it for some reason. Just. Regular progress. I don't have a firm definition of that, and don't care, as long as I do SOMETHING that's enough.

Duck Prints Press: moving this to Community since my efforts mostly benefit others (I haven't taken a pay check...it's been a year...we'll get there...). Publish 4 anthologies and at least one novel by our authors. (The anthologies shouldn't be a problem...the novel might be...not for lack of content, I just need time to edit.)

Creative Goals

Ready for my crazy goal? This is my crazy goal. Post every day: I know. And if I don't keep it up 365 that's okay as long as I start strong. I have GOT to start working on my personal creative stuff again. Not doing so is killing me. Anything. A drabble. A sentence. Idc. I must write.

Work on WIP: any of them. I just want fewer wip at the end of 2022 as I have at the start.

Make Progress on The Long Road: again. Anything. Forward motion.

Post One Art Piece a Month: I was managing this through the fall so...even just a doodle, as long as I'm arting.

Fibercraft: any, but ideally the cosplay I want to do.

[sailorstarr-chan4]

God, I wish I could enjoy reading/writing Inuyasha fics again.

I was gonna keep this just in my tags, but fuck it.

I literally, almost physically, cannot look up or click on Inuyasha fics anymore. The few exceptions I made in 2020-2021 are incredibly few and sparsely in-between, especially after Yashahime's announcement.

I can't even reread old faves.

I barely skim my own, and only as an exercise of "I need to work on my WIPs, lemme glance over what I've got."

Hell, I downright sometimes feel physically ill, or at the very least, on the verge of a panic attack, when I do try to look up fics! I straight up blocked the Inuyasha tag for almost the first half of 2021 because even fan art (fucking fan art!!) was making me feel horrible and nasty and uncomfortable AF.

(And no, not because of the existence of That One Ship because I could not give less of a shit - and barely saw much of it in my sphere anyway - so much as the absolute madhouse that centered around said ship, the mud-slinging over the fact that people liked or disliked it/Yashahime as a whole, and even neutrals like me getting attacked over daring to not give a fuck.

How BOTH sides were claiming "I'm being stalked and harassed!!!!!" and yet no one seems to agree which side is "worse" in terms of behavior because it got so out of hand so disgustingly fast and for so. fucking. long.)

In short, this fandom's drama has thoroughly and unequivocally destroyed my love of Inuyasha fics.

And that's a damn fucking shame.

Because I LOVED those fics. I loved the post-canon fluff and smut. I loved the AUs, Inuyasha being one of the very few fandoms I can even entertain the idea of OOC AUs with. I loved the fans' passion, the giggling on Discord, the Horniness on Main, the ideas and brainstorming, etc.

And fuck it I'll say it, I fucking LOVED MY fics!! Writing Inuyasha fics brought me so much joy and life to my stale writing career at that point! I had my writing on hold for years, because I was getting nowhere with my original stuff, until my fiancé-then-boyfriend encouraged me to give fanfiction a try.

I want that back. I want all of that back.

Despite my very complicated, salty, and depressed relationship with the fandom now, if I were to write for Inuyasha again, it would probably only be for finishing An Unexpected Encounter, Prince of Thieves, and Shards of the Sea. Who can say what the future holds beyond that, but that's how it feels now. I only haven't completely divorced myself from the fandom because of the handful of people I chat with on Discord and my loyalty to my dusty ol' WIPs.

Because here's the kicker: the drama did more than kill my love for Inuyasha fics: it made writing ANYTHING AT ALL nearly impossible.

By some miracle, reading other fandom's fics was no problem (thank you, Harry Potter and Disney fandoms, for being my saving grace for the past 2 years 😭😭😭), but writing..... was stagnated, to say the least.

Did I manage SOME writing in the past 2 years? By the skin of my teeth, yes, but there's been no "new" updates in almost a year, and basically a year before that. (Discounting Tied Together and Bonds Across Time, since they became mini-archives for older sketches lol)

Idk I just.... I just needed to vent. The fact that people are STILL screaming down each others' throats, the fact that ancient discourse on the original series is STILL being recycled and rehashed, the fact that seeing people punching out fics in spite of it all makes me so ashamed and pathetic and tiny.....

Why can't we all just get along? Why can't shippers go ship their thing and mind their own business, and people who don't like it can block their NOTPs and not endlessly rag on it? Why can't people just watch a stupid fucking anime in peace? Why can't fandoms be just for fun and not add to the stress of an already burning world?

[catherineflowers29]

Hi! I'm the anon from before! Oh, thank God. I was worried I upset you because JB shippers get so defensive when someone is critical of their ship or Jaime (btw I'm a Brienne stan before a JB shipper.)

I think your story is so great and feminist... the fact that Brienne was allowed to be angry at Jaime and make the choice to fuck Addam and still be the doting mother and a warrior who inspires women (also thank you for no boring Sansa/Brienne friendship). I loved how she said "fuck that" to any of Jaime's weakass explanations and whenever that bitch was like, "are we good? have you forgiven me? can we fuck?" and she just went like "wtf no you're the worst." like YES. It fucking bothered me the way those S8 apologists defended Jaime's "addiction" and liked the offensive disgusting white book scene. FFS LET WOMEN BE ANGRY. LET WOMEN HAVE A STORYLINE THAT ISN'T TIED TO SOME GARBAGE MAN. LET WOMEN SLEEP WITH MEN INSTEAD OF THEIR ASSIGNED LOVE INTERESTS AND LET THEM ENJOY IT TOO. LET WOMEN BE BITTER AND UNFORGIVING AND COMPASSIONATE AND MOTHERLY AND BRAVE AND AWESOME AT THE SAME TIME. ALL THESE THINGS CAN EXIST IN ONE WOMAN. IT'S ALLOWED. AND BRIENNE IS NO BETTER OR WORSE IF SHE CHOOSES TO BE UNFORGIVING. I HATE DUDEBROS.

I don't think you should be unhappy with your story! Your story has amazing dialogue and internal thoughts, well-rounded characters, and Brienne of Tarth being awesome. If anything, you were too nice to Jaime by having him be happy and giving him a purpose. You should subvert my expectations, lovely author! Don't have Brienne forgive Jaime and get into a relationship with him! Make her kick him to the curb! Break his heart! Piss on his corpse! Probably JB shippers will be mad at you but I've got your back. The REAL Brienne fans know that Jaime did Brienne so dirty, and no bs addiction or duty can justify that!

Ok that's enough... and WTF why would people think your fic is controversial. IMO we should bully the writers who had Brienne easily forgive Jaime and take him back just like that. Fuck them all. I only respect YOU. You got me into shipping Addam/Bri and also validated my anger. Also I was busy, didn't know you updated your fic. Gonna read it now. Not gonna lie, I'll be a little upset if she chooses Jaime because I thought the glass throwing scene was written to show the tragic end of their relationship and how there's no coming back, but I did want to know your thoughts.

Bless you, kind reader. 

I’ve had a lot of thoughts about why my fic is considered controversial. The subject matter in it really isn’t that “dark” in the traditional fic sense. There’s no rape or major character death, it’s not torture porn or anything. And yet, there was rage about it on Reddit, it was banned from being discussed on Discord, and a BNF decided (very hurtfully, I might add) to call me out on Twitter because she had formed a judgement based solely on my tags. I have also been blocked by numerous people in the fandom that I have never so much as had an interaction with. I’ve also had a LOT of shitty comments and anons here and there from people who seem really angry that I had the temerity to write this fic.

That genuinely surprised me. I knew it wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea - what fic is? But there have been times when I have felt like a total pariah and not wanted to interact with other members of the fandom in case they feel the same way. Whatever way you slice it, that’s shitty behaviour.

Largely, when we ship something, particularly when it’s an OTP, we think of that relationship as an ideal. It’s escapism, it’s perfect in ways that our real relationships never can be. I think that’s why, for so many of us, 8.04 was really devastating. Jaime and Brienne are also a ship about acceptance and understanding, of a deep connection that transcends surface impressions - they both see each other for who they really are. That means a LOT to us, I think. I think we all long for that kind of relationship and exploring it in our fandom gives all of us so much happiness. We are in love with their love.

In their portrayal of the JB relationship, D&D ABSOLUTELY got that wrong. I absolutely do not dispute that. I think a LOT of people were angry with me because they confused what I was writing as being supportive of D&D’s take in some way, because I treated it as canon. Some writers were able to paper over the end of the show, dismiss it as bad writing and move on, or write fic where Jaime changes his mind, Brienne forgives him, and then they carry on with what we wanted.

I just couldn’t do that. God knows I tried. But if I had been in Brienne’s position, I absolutely would have been as pissed as fuck about what Jaime did. I don’t accept that he went back for Cersei as a brother, or that Brienne wasn’t crying for herself but only for him and his lost honour. Being dumped HURTS, particularly when you loved someone and thought you had a future, and then he walks out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. Brienne had SO MUCH backstory about being hurt and humiliated by men, having the first man who loved her, the man she gave her virginity to, treat her that way would fuck her up.

I’m not saying that anyone who disagrees with me is wrong, and I never have. I don’t have the definitive knowledge of these characters, none of us do. I only have my take, my experience, my style.

I just couldn’t write about their relationship as being idyllic and perfect any more. Is it a reflection of who I am as a person and as a writer? That’s certainly been the accusation several dozen times. Maybe. It’s certainly a reflection of how I feel women put up with too much shit from men and are expected to be kind and forgiving in return. I HATE that with a passion. 

Angry women are really controversial. They make people of all genders feel very uncomfortable. Sexually confident women do, too, and I think my story was the perfect storm of those two elements, really. People who want escapism from realistic relationships where people don’t live happily-ever-after really took exception to its very existence.

I don’t hold it against anyone for it not being their cup of tea, or if they disagree with my take. God knows there are kajillions of fics out there that aren’t my bag too. Things I’ve rolled my eyes at, things I’ve fundamentally disagreed with, things I’ve been horrified to read. But not once have I ever felt the need to be a public douchebag about it. I’ve never felt the need to make a writer stop writing.

So thank you so much for taking the time to send me this. It does make a really nice change to get an anon be so positive and affirming to me as a writer!

I really hope that you enjoy the end of the story. And that you will enjoy the reboot in a few weeks where we stick with Brienne’s POV and I turn the volume down on some of the elements that I don’t like about the story myself. Not the rage though, or the Addam banging. That’s staying!