#yes it is from sqq's pov

[ectoodle]

"This time, no matter where you wish to go, this master will accompany you.”

Thank you everyone for watching my bingqiu amv and all your kind words! 💖

[magicpotatothoughts]

I NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD LUO BINGHE UNTIL NOW

Holy shit I was so swayed by SQQ’s POV that I honestly never truly understood LBH’s intentions until I read this line In Ch 2 (SVSSS Seven Seas)/Ch 13 at the demonic evasion arc:

When a person is affected with Without a Cure, starting from their wound, their spiritual flow becomes disconnected. This schism slowly spreads to their entire body. In the end, not only does their spiritual qi coagulate and stagnate, so does their blood."

So then when in Ch 6 (SVSSS SS)/Ch 34, LBH fed SQQ his blood and subsequently used his blood to seemingly "torment" SQQ during the water prison arc, all of this got me thinking....

What if everything LBH did with his demonic blood this entire time was to save SQQ from Without a Cure?

Like yes, he probably did have other intentions such as tracking him, making SQQ horrified at the fact that he has demon blood inside him when he hated demons so much but I honestly think the main reason LBH forced SQQ to drink his blood, and I would even go further as to say that his main motivation when he trained under Meng Mo, was not to become the “strongest” in the general sense but to heal SQQ. Hear me out. The first thought white lotus LBH has when SQQ got poisoned in Ch2/13 was

the demons had harmed his teacher to the point that he might be crippled—he might even lose his life. And all because of him.

LBH probably was a direct witness to how a whole team of Cang Qiong mountain peak lords needed to revolve around SQQ, with Mu Qingfang constantly providing prescriptions and LQG clearing his meridians and probably YQY hovering around SQQ dying with worries, to maintain his health post the SHL -demon evasion, he must have felt absolutely terrible about it! And that guilt literally haunted our bing-pup like he never once stopped thinking about it; no wonder he offered himself to take care of everything including the nutrition of SQQ's food, snaccs, water, small-big errands, and even wanted to pick that "Snow something Lotus" flower for Shizun! Without a Cure affecting SQQ was on LBH's mind ever since he was 15 and for all 3 years he was in the Endless Abyss.

This is absolutely evident when black lotus LBH returned and started to chase SQQ, SQQ's inner monologue was cursing how Without a Cure is stagnating his ability to coordinate and run, I am certain that LBH was not blind to just how much SQQ was struggling with that poison in his body. My theory was further confirmed when LBH finally caught up to SQQ:

“While Shen Qingqiu was still in the midst of confusion, Luo Binghe flipped his hand over. “You were infected?” .....“This hand of Shizun’s is plagued with misfortunes.”

Bruh, LBH may be giving the sadistic energy of an abandoned demonic child (thanks SQQ unreliable narrator) but here is clear evidence that the thing he was most worried about is SQQ's blood coagulating and him dying of demonic poison. What this tells me is that Without a Cure seemed to be activated and/or further exacerbated by other demonic poisons. LBH was also clearly still carrying the guilt of SQQ saving him with that hand! Following on immediately, what he did was 1) punch SQQ, then 2) says "An eye for an eye. Since Shizun sowed the seeds, he should reap the bitter fruit himself. Shizun should personally make up for himself" and 3) straight up fed SQQ his demonic blood.

White Lotus LBH never died. Both actions are for the benefit of SQQ, 1) I think he did this to get SQQ to cough up coagulated blood after SQQ was poisoned by that Jin Lan City sower and 3) LBH's quick return from Endless Abyss was so that he can feed Shizun his heavenly-blood to help cure him. I have reason to believe that LBH's demonic blood is the CURE to WITHOUT A CURE. Why else pay such specific attention to SQQ's hand out of literally any other body-part after a 3 year reunion?

But what I find most fascinating is 2) LBH’s words are nearly always laced with double meaning. “An eye for an eye” here isn’t necessarily just him blaming SQQ for kicking him and unlocking his demonic heritage but he wants to repay SQQ for taking on Without a Cure back then by giving him his demonic blood as a cure now. Another interpretation is that LBH deflected feeling the guilt of indirectly harming SQQ by verbally jabbing him. He tried to make SQQ feel guilty about tossing him into the Endless Abyss when he himself couldn't bare to think that his Shizun got hurt again on the same hand that saved him all those years ago. SQQ of course is an unreliable narrator and tricks us into thinking that LBH's actions matched his words when if we look closer, they're LITERALLY THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

Right after the reunion, SQQ "didn’t know how he made it back to the Jin Zi Weapons Shop," which has me believing that LBH must have been doing something to surpress SQQ's Without a Cure's effects with his demonic blood.

During the Water Prison arc, LBH seems like he is tormenting SQQ by demonic blood manipulation but if we really read carefully:

…strange sensation of something crawling inside his blood vessels....Luo Binghe said leisurely, “Spleen, kidneys, heart, lungs.” Though it wasn’t to the point of extraordinary anguish, it was still awful to suffer through.

Doesn't this sound like LBH trying to get the blood in SQQ flowing again to prevent coagulation after SQQ had been in presumably a seated position for a long time jailed in the Water prison? Once again, LBH's intentions behind his actions are the opposite of his words, he may be emotionally hurt by SQQ's silent response to him asking whether Shizun regrets kicking him down the Endless Abyss but his first and foremost concern is SQQ's health. This totally explains LBH's extremely low anger points! SQQ seemingly mistook LBH’s worry as anger! If SQQ asked the System for LBH's worrywart points, it would have been like ~the limit does not exist~. 🤯🤯🤯

Bruh, it’s so telling when Gongyi Xiao went to untie SQQ's immortal binding cables two days later when SQQ noted:

His spiritual energy was unmistakably back in operation and flowing smoothly. When he’d been imprisoned, he had been in the middle of a random Without a Cure flare-up, but after two days of being tied up by the immortal-binding cables, the poison had unexpectedly been suppressed again. Was this following the same principle as fighting fire with fire, or how two negatives make a positive?

No SQQ you oblivious gay, LBH was circulating your coagulating blood for you and suppressing the effects of your poison! We as readers can get so misled by SQQ constantly worrying about how Without a Cure randomly stops his spiritual powers that we forget about the actual main issue, blood stagnation and coagulation, which can absolutely kill him. Also, when SQQ escaped the Water Prison, LBH didn't try to manipulate the blood in SQQ's body because now he didn't need to, he’s done it already. He never wanted to do more than what was necessary for Shizun’s health. LBH tried to convince SQQ to come back when he could have used his powers. SQQ always had agency because LBH loves and respects him too much.

The next time SQQ got poisoned was by that sower who hid amongst the Huang Hua Palace disciples in Hua Yue city right before his self-detonation. He couldn't attack the sower with fire but then complained that it must have been Without a Cure that flared up again. Somehow, silly SQQ kept randomly getting himself poisoned so doesn’t it make sense that LBH keeps track of his Shizun so that his own demonic blood could notify him of any potential future SQQ demonic poisonings?

Bruh, the worrywart White-Lotus LBH never fucking died, SQQ ah SQQ you silly silly man. LBH has always been, even if he says hateful words, worried about you and your health and made it his top priority. What made LBH lose his mind though were

everytime LBH tries to save SQQ, SQQ thinks that he is using his demonic blood/demonic poison to do all these unfathomable things when using demonic poison is literally the last thing LBH would do because he has literal guilt trauma around it.

SQQ keeps calling LQG, GYX and literally anyone else to save him when LBH has been the one doing all the work.

Then we arrive at Xing Mo’s recoil exacerbating LBH’s insecurities.

“Shizun, look at what I’ve become. Am I strong enough? Do you know how I spent those years within the Endless Abyss? For three years underground, at all times and all moments, my mind thought only of Shizun. I wondered why Shizun would do this to me, why he refused to give me even a single chance to explain or plead my case.”

He did so much for Shizun’s health but never got a chance to explain why! And then when SQQ self-detonated, LBH thought:

Didn’t Shizun hate his blood more than anything? Wasn’t he unwilling to even be near him, to associate with him at all? So why, at the last moment, had he so gently helped to contain Luo Binghe’s mind, as tender as he had been in those years long past?

The blood here doesn't just have racist but literal connotations, LBH literally thought that SQQ hated the very demonic blood coursing through his veins, so that's why he kept forcing SQQ to drink it. LBH's every action, with me now looking back at all this evidence, is SO fricking justified. From his POV, isn't it more like SQQ is the constantly sick child throwing a tantrum about not wanting to drink bitter medicine? LBH, After all this effort of forcing himself to go through literal hell, training himself, chasing SQQ, imprisoning SQQ (LBH is giving Lan Wangji energy here) so that his Shizun can stop accidentally poisoning himself, SQQ somehow got put in harms way again but on top of that, died because of him. SQQ died whilst also restoring and reaffirming himself as the Shizun who had once been so good to him. 😭😭😭

All this absolute adds so much more weight as to why LBH was never ever going to let SQQ out of his sight ever again, as a corpse or alive, from that moment onwards.

[zykamiliah]

what about bingqiu?

this is my response to this post. i didn't want to reply in the same post because it's going to get really long, and i disagree with almost everything, so this way i may avoid the discourse. haha. anyway, i'm gonna try to answer each of op's points.

-why bingqiu are a couple:

♦ because despite everything, they've chosen each other. not because they're soulmates (though mxtx did pull the string of fate thing), but because they genuinely want to spend time together

it's very subtle but they do share some values and similarities: they both repay kindness with kindness and believe that one should pay back those who hurt you twofold/tenfold. furthermore, they are both petty bitches. as @fireandgrimstone pointed out here, they're both busybodies: they get restless if they aren't doing something.

on that note: self-preservation is not a core value they share. sqq is terrible at self-preservation. from the first moment, instead of minding his own business, he risked losing points (which would terminate his account and kill him) just to protect binghe when he was being bullied by ming fan and co. sqq couldn't stand by watching someone being bullied. then during the demon invasion, he was ready to risk his own life to protect all the cqm disciples. he was willing to self-destruct to take out sha hualing.

the thing is that sqq likes to lie about himself and say everything he does is out of self-preservation, but it isn't true.

so, if it wasn't out of self preservation, why did sqq pushed binghe into the endless abyss? yes, it needed to happen, but he didn't do it to save himself. he can't hurt binghe just to protect himself. he did it because he brainwashed himself into believing this was the best for binghe, that binghe needed to in order to become strong and achieve his fate.

(chapter 4: conference)

♦ because they give each other what they need. consistent love, support and understanding was something lbh really needed, and those 2-3 years before the immortal alliance conference did wonders for binghe to allow himself to feel vulnerable and be more in touch with his own feelings. this will get screwed up post-endless abyss but sqq does encourage him in the extras to express his feelings and talk about what he thinks and feels.

now, what lbh gives to sqq may not seem obvious (thank you for the help, luuny!♥), since sqq's layered narration is tricky to deconstruct, but by the end of the novel lbh can get past sqq's tsundere/savin face bullshit. sqq has all his toxic masculinity ideas and internalized homophobia that he keeps dragging everywhere he goes, and his relationship with lbh, who was supposed to be the epitome of masculinity, has allowed him to shed off some of it. but not all. thus, lbh knows when sqq needs to be pushed or coaxed into doing something he already wants to do but thinks he shouldn't want and doesn't know how to justify (sex for example). lbh also gives sqq the whole domestic package: someone to dote on, someone that does the chores and takes care of him, because frankly sqq is good at many things but he fails at self-care.

♦ domesticity and companionship. for bingqiu it wasn't like other couples who were first attracted to each other from one reason or another and from then on the relationship developed. the first period of their relationship is mostly platonic (poor binghe is suffering the teenage hormones), and was based on the easy domesticity and companionship they shared. and honestly that's such a simple yet beautiful kind of love. they genuinely like spending time together, living together, talking to each other. they never get bored of being together or of each other, which brings me to

♦ the obsession. like, it's honestly hilarious how obsessed they are with each other. sy was already obsessed with pidw protagonist bingge, but in svsss he got to love and get obsessed all over again with his own binghe aka bingmei. and from lbh's pov it's more or less the same: he had a complicated relationship with original sqq, which was the start of it all, but the person he loves is not the cold shizun from the past who he needs to prove himself to, but the one that's always trying to protect him, even if it's from himself. in both cases, their relationship started with distance, with the shadow of the other version of each other they'd known before. but what made them fall in love weren't those ghosts from the past, but the person they could see underneath it all: the hardworking boy that just wanted to be loved, and the closeted man who wants to give love and help others and have a purpose and belong to something (binghe understands that sqq would be unhappy if he couldn't visit cqm, qjp and his sect siblings). this relates to the fact that

♦ they understand each other better than anyone else. it takes them time, but that's the point of their journey and by the time we read about their relationship in the extras, we can see that despite everything, they not only understand each other very well but actively try to understand each other better. they already made the mistake of making too many assumptions, and they're not doing that again.

________________

another point that op got wrong:

off the top of my head an example would be how bingge (he-with-no-shen-yuan) took a harem of beauties so he could control xin mo but bingmei (he-with-shen-yuan) decided to just... cripple people's cultivation (...) what i'm getting at is that binghe was willing to pay other people's lives just so he didn't have to be intimate with anyone except shen yuan.

bingge too was cripping other cultivators to get ride of the excess of demonic qi, it's just that after he captured the three nuns from tianyi overlook they taught him how to achieve the same result using dual cultivation. (thanking @stardust-falling for their notes on this topic!)

(chapter 9: borderlands)

[sophia-sol]

I wrote a fic for the danmei fanworks exchange, and author reveals were today! Very exciting. I had so much fun writing this fic and I hope you enjoy it!

➤ a post-canon svsss fic from mobei-jun's pov

➤ featuring mbj's judgy opinions on: shang qinghua (the best), luo binghe (a neglectful emperor with baffling taste in husbands), shen qingqiu (weird but sqh likes him so it's good that sqq makes sqh happy), weird bird-themed demons (maybe they'll be fun to fight??), and romantic relationships (boring)

➤ meanwhile sqh/sqq/lbh are working on getting their shit together

➤ and the weird bird-themed demons just really! want! their secret special object back!

➤ (yes obviously the bird demons are modeled after a real bird species that lives in china. it was written by me.)

precious treasure (6015 words) by sophia_sol Chapters: 1/1 Fandom:人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Luo Binghe/Shang Qinghua/Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Mobei-jun & Shang Qinghua Characters: Luo Binghe, Shang Qinghua, Shen Yuan | Shen Qingqiu, Mobei-jun Additional Tags: hints of mobing, could easily become moshangbingqiu in the future, I love how differently all four of them think about each other, writing this from mbj's pov was super fun, contains a fight scene with blood Series: Part 8 of soph's cnovel fics Summary: When Luo Binghe and his consort are away from their palace in the demonic realm, it falls to Mobei-Jun (and Shang Qinghua) to act on the emperor’s behalf. Somehow Luo Binghe's return doesn't free them from having to help with the annoying group of demons who are demanding an audience with the emperor.

[tcfactory]

the test: will you be so so niceys and also keep your damn mouth shut? the answer to both was 'yes' and that means you get to come back. good shidi. keep brushing (great job, i love the new chapter as per usual!)

Sometimes I regret just a little bit that this story is exclusively from SY's PoV, because SQQ's PoV would be really fun in some scenes.

It took them a week to get back to SY because SQQ was being a goddamn tsundere about wanting to spend time with his pretty idiot shixiong shidi and every time Harbor pointed out how he was flirting with Shen-Oblivious-AF-Yuan, SQQ dug his heels in more and kept the argument going.

The relationship between SQQ and his daemon is fascinating, but it's strained and a little depressing, so I don't want to nuke the tone of the story by switching over to them.

[readingnreccing]

Cultivate: Slow Life in a Monster-Infested Mountain by NeonGhostCat 

SVSSS | teen | 461k | liushen | complete | broken system

When trying to transfer Shen Yuan from the real world to Proud Immortal Demon Way, the System runs into an error. The transfer is not complete. Shen Yuan is dropped off at the foot of a mountain aware of two things: he's in the story, and the Shen Qingqiu of this world is not only aware but thinks he tried to possess his body — and he's PISSED. Shen Yuan tries to opt out and live a simple life on what locals tell him is a monster-infested mountain no one in their right mind would bother with. Sounds like a great hiding spot! (TL;DR: Stardew Scum Villain Valley Mountain.)

I’m gonna start saying I love this story so much! Yes, it is super long! But!!! It’s not repetitive, it’s curious and smart, and there’s so much character development. It’s a whole feast. So what happens when Shen Yuan is transmigrating, but the original Shen Qingqiu is able to stop the “transfer”? He gets a whole new body, finds himself a mountain to hide from SQQ, and decides to make a quiet life for him there, while also trying to avoid the Plot. Not that it is possible with Liu Qingge appearing at the mountain and deciding to help him (while also thinking SY is the secret younger brother of SQQ). We get feelings! Action! Plot! Character development! All the relationships are so good, romantic or platonic! Cool OCs! Shen Yuan being himself and amazing!

Author’s tags: POV Multiple, Alternate Universe - Broken System (Scum Villain), Not Canon Compliant, Idiots in Love, Slow Build, Identity Reveal, Fantasy Farm Life, Domestic Fluff, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Monsters, Fantasy Flora, Battle Couple, Light-Hearted, Light Horror Elements, Non-Graphic Violence, Shěn Yuán is the Charming Gremlin We Know From His Internal Monologue, Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū Swears, Platonic Relationships, (Not referring to LiuShen!), Unconventional Families

Remember to leave feedback to the author! <3

@neonghostcat

[touchmycoat]

Ahahahah would love to see the SQQ pov draft bc from what you said it sounds like it'd be like why is he here he shouldn't be here at all it's WRONG that he's here I am IGNORING him and then the LQG pov is like ofc I'm here - SQQ got captured so I followed him to protect him and keep him safe. Very 理所当然. LBH pov would be very intensely focused on how SQQ reacts to his experiments on LQG until THOUGHTS start intruding and then he starts liking LQG against his will until he's just as obsessed...

HEHEH oh i like that very much. That sounds exactly how SQQ would handle a hostage situation skdjfnlsd "I cannot deal with your presence right now just know that I am very cross with you and the moment we are out i will yell." Valiant protector LQG, of course 1000% yes, and yeah, LBH, Demon Lord of the "I am stone cold and have no feelings except this very immense very raw one right here for LQG but other than that I'm indestructible"

FOUND MY DRAFTS. I thought I deleted them but turns out they were hiding in another desktop. Jesus christ you can literally see me testing different set-ups lolol. First is LQG & SQQ co-captives, then it's "oh hey what if LQG gets experimented on first," and then it's "ew this is too much set-up can we skip to the porn"

Draft One

Ever since being captured by the Demon Lord, Liu Qingge had not been able to put his hair up. That more than anything else—the shallow pool of water he was imprisoned within, the bland and fatty food scraps, the ricocheting between full-body paranoid alertness and complete boredom—annoyed Liu Qingge to no end. The pool wasn’t deep enough to submerge more than half his width laying down at a time, which for dignity’s sake, meant uncomfortable half-dryness whenever the Demon Lord or his minions were in the room. And as (the most annoying) consequence, Liu Qingge’s hair was in a constantly inconstant state of damp and sticky or dry and pokey at any given time.

The first thing Liu Qingge was going to do when he got his hands on a blade was gut one of his captors and use their intestines as a fucking hair tie. Then he’d exact his full vengeance.

Thirteen days and fifteen failed escape attempts later though, vengeance remained out of reach. Liu Qingge wasn’t ever punished or tortured beyond whatever beating and blast of spiritual energy was required to trap him back in his pool. Instead, the Demon Lord decided to bring in another captive. They dragged him in dry, though wrapped from head to toe in wetted down cloth to keep him alive. The Demon Lord personally unwrapped him, taking him by the hair and murmuring all sorts of unsavory things gleefully in his face before dumping him into the warded shallow pool one away from Liu Qingge’s.

Blood blossomed like a cloud of algae the moment the other mer hit the water. Liu Qingge stared at the waft of black hair floating at the surface and clenched his hands into fists.

Before leaving, the Demon Lord strolled over and smiled benevolently down at Liu Qingge.

“Apologies for our failings in hospitality for Immortal Liu. Unfortunately there are some days still before preparations are complete, so this Lord figures that in the meantime, we may as well acquaint Immortal Liu to his future partner in the project. I trust that no introductions are necessary.”

Of course not. Liu Qingge recognized Shen Qingqiu by his glare the moment his face had been uncovered.

“What project? What preparations?” Liu Qingge asked coolly. In the other pool, Shen Qingqiu had submerged himself as much as possible against a corner, his long pale tail kept unnervingly still like a frozen prey animal. There was no love lost between Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu but a sense of solidarity was hard to avoid, captured in enemy territory like this, so Liu Qingge even made a point of splashing his tail to keep the Demon Lord’s attention on him. The Demon Lord, annoyingly, just looked amused and knowing.

“That would be the surprise, Immortal Liu. So perhaps you would like to relax for a few days, wait and see what’s in store for you and your friend.”

Friend, hah. Liu Qingge would fight tooth and claw to get both himself and Shen Qingqiu out of this prison but Shen Qingqiu was no friend of his.

“Never.”

The Demon Lord laughed and shrugged before leaving like Liu Qingge’s defiance made no difference to him. And the annoying truth was that it probably didn’t at all.

//

“Spare me your condescension. At least I made it two weeks longer than you.”

“Hmph.”

//

“You haven’t just been sitting here useless, have you? Surely a bone-headed creature of your calibre has tried escaping.”

“What do you think?”

“Well?”

“It’s a labyrinth out of the water prison, and when you take the minions captive, they’re spelled to self-destruct.”

“Isn’t knocking down walls your specialty?”

“Try it yourself if you’re so keen.”

//

“You don’t know what they want.”

“…”

“All this time, what, you never tried? Or is asking questions too lowly for the great Immortal—”

“I’ve asked.”

“…”

“…”

“You’ve asked.”

//

Ever since Shen Qingqiu’s arrival, minions had stopped bringing cold squid or half-rotted fish to toss into the pools. So on the fifth day, when the sound of live fish splashing in water came from the halls over the rattling of cart wheels, both starving mers went on high alert. Live fish meant food, but the sudden arrival of mercy after a period of drought was potentially concerning.

Draft Two

“You know Shizun, the mating adaptations of your species are truly wondrous.”

Shen Qingqiu, chained to the bottom of his glass prison, didn’t respond. He was too busy staring in shock at the other tank that was being wheeled out. To call it a tank was generous, actually. For creatures of their size, this was more akin to a teacup—too shallow for their tails to stretch out fully and leaving some handspan parts of them exposed to air at all times. In Luo Binghe’s captivity, Shen Qingqiu had hissed and complained heartily about the size of his own tank, but it was only now that he realized Luo Binghe’s playacting at don’t I treat you well, Shizun? generosity hadn’t all been for show. For the creature similarly chained to the bottom of that other “tank,” Shen Qingqiu felt nothing but horror and pity.

And he wasn’t used to feeling pity for the mer across from him, who stared back through the glass with bared teeth and bloodshot eyes.

“I trust introductions aren’t necessary?”

Liu Qingge’s fists slammed into the glass, and even through the multiple layers of insulating water and air, Shen Qingqiu could hear his furious roar. Luo Binghe turned an impenetrable gaze on him, and for the first time in his life, Shen Qingqiu felt the panic of protective instinct toward the other mer.

Because Liu Qingge had gone missing five years ago after a thoroughly displeasing hunting trip with Shen Qingqiu. All they’d found of him was his blade and torn-off scales. For a long ugly while, Shen Qingqiu had even been the primary suspect of his presumed death. For Luo Binghe to bring him out now, five years later, at such a facility—it invited all sorts of horrifying implications Shen Qingqiu didn’t want to think about.

Shen Qingqiu slammed his palm up against the glass and drew Luo Binghe’s deadly attention back to himself.

What is the meaning of this?

Mer like Liu Qingge, born and raised in their holy city far underwater, did not speak. They had never needed to learn how. That was why mer like Shen Qingqiu, who’d clawed and dragged themselves back into the water from human captivity, also did not speak. Not verbally at any rate; spiritual links between mer allowed for mental communication, a process typically facilitated by water (hence the lack of exchange between him and Liu Qingge, though Shen Qingqiu doubted they’d have anything helpful to say to each other even if Luo Binghe dumped them in the same pool) but one that Luo Binghe had somehow hacked. Despite walking on two feet, Luo Binghe could hear every thought in Shen Qingqiu’s mind and made no secret of the fact that he was always listening.

So Luo Binghe, looking back over his shoulder, knew exactly what Shen Qingqiu intended. He tsked and shook his head in chastisement.

“Shizun ah Shizun, don’t you know by now to keep your pity to yourself? It’s not like I brought you here for Liu-shishu.”

Water poured unheedingly out of the smaller tank as Liu Qingge thrashed, and the minions who didn’t react quickly enough had their throats mercilessly slit by the splashes. Luo Binghe didn’t even blink, putting up a ward with the lazy wave of a hand.

“Though I must really thank Liu-shishu for helping me so much for the past five years. The project really couldn’t have progressed without him. He’s the reason I could finally bring Shizun onboard.”

Shen Qingqiu wished upon the oceans that Liu Qingge had betrayed him, that it hadn’t been nonconsensual experimentation but schemes and participation that had brought the two of them to this point. That would bode better for himself, Shen Qingqiu thought, no matter how unlikely it was.

But the moment Luo Binghe lifted two vials of liquid from his sleeve, the last of Shen Qingqiu’s hope was washed clean away.

“We did as much of the development as we could on fish, but ultimately, we needed a mer to figure out the proper dosage. All of Liu-shishu’s suffering was for a good cause though. Isn’t Shizun going to ask me what the cause is?”

Shen Qingqiu only watched him, lips white and pressed tightly together. Seeing his unwillingness to speak, Luo Binghe just shrugged before uncorking the vials and approaching.

“I suppose Shizun will find out soon enough.”

//

After pouring the milky concoction into their tanks and letting them soak in it for one helpless hour, Luo Binghe waved for Liu Qingge’s tank to be brought over. Additional constriction wards had been added to Liu Qingge’s arms and neck and tail, keeping his furious thrashing to a minimum as he was transported. Cuffed by the waist to his own tank, Shen Qingqiu could only watch as Liu Qingge was wheeled past him to a deeper pool of water. By this point, Shen Qingqiu more than understood the purpose of the concoction, and hated that he could not bring himself to meet Liu Qingge’s eyes.

Digging his fingers futilely into the smooth glass, Shen Qingqiu refused to touch the building coil of heat low in his belly. Luo Binge dismissed the minions once Liu Qingge’s tank was by the edge of the pool and pushed Shen Qingqiu’s tank over himself.

“Don’t look so worried, Shizun,” Luo Binghe said

Draft Three

When Luo Binghe’s thumb brushed against the edges of his slit, Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but flinch. His hands flew to brace against the narrow walls of his water prison, and the sound of his handcuff chains slowly clanking against each other was low and grating under the muffling water.

Luo Binghe eyed Shen Qingqiu before shaking his head in slow disappointment. He did not remove his hand, however, thumbing instead at the opening in coaxing swipes up and down, up and down. He opened his mouth to sigh, but spoke to Shen Qingqiu through his mind.

How many weeks has it been—does Shizun still believe I mean him harm?

Shen Qingqiu gritted his teeth and tried to move away. Luo Binghe’s palm spread across the small of his back prevented him from getting far, and that damn thumb kept pushing, kept massaging gently over the unpleasant stuffiness low in his stomach.

You told me, he reminded Luo Binghe, mental voice as icy as he could make it, that you brought me here for revenge.

And I also told you, Luo Binghe reminded back, the best revenge is a life well-lived.

Under his insistent touch and the influence of the drug in the water, Shen Qingqiu’s slit was beginning to sensitize and swell with blood. The light pink flesh between the scales of his tail split like lips on either side of an opening.

A life well-loved, rich with beings who will love this Lord and allow this Lord to love them in return.

Nothing will ever love you, Beast, Shen Qingqiu sneered. It sounded hollow even to his own ears, and Luo Binghe smiled at him with pity for his caged dinner.

Shizun raised me to despise him, but this Lord will prove that love is stronger. I will raise Shizun’s child with all the regard you never showed me.

The declaration of intent slammed into Shen Qingqiu with dull impact, because he’d known, he had. He’d suspected it hours ago, after the drug Luo Binghe poured into the water had soaked thoroughly into his skin. He’d confirmed it after that, once his aching reproductive organs had begun to ovulate.

But it was still different to hear it. Different all the more to have his once-disciple place a hand on his tummy, now packed with eggs and rounded for it, and tease his opening apart.

Luo Binghe flattened his thumb against Shen Qingqiu’s slit and pushed, a little harder than before. Shen Qingqiu’s muscles first cramped beneath the pressure but soon, all too soon, began to give. The mass that had built up in Shen Qingqiu’s abdomen shifted like fluid, and suddenly, with a faint sense of nausea choking its way up his throat, Shen Qingqiu felt something undulate, then spill out of him.

The pressure immediately eased, and Shen Qingqiu felt his vent close back up. He stared down blankly at the quickly dispersing cloud of white in the water between him and Luo Binghe though, trying to parse what had happened.

Shizun is quite fecund, Luo Binghe praised, eyes half-lidded with pleasure as he examined the white liquid too, running his hands gently through it as if stroking through hair. The eggs seem to be ready. All we need now is to fertilize them.

You—!

[neonghostcat]

Thwarted by Reason

(In which I ramble about upcoming SVSSS fanfics. ;) Cut for the sake of your dashboards.)

It is, indeed, a tragic life a writer leads. Particularly the life of a fanfic writer, if Author's Notes are anything to go by.

If you are not beset with life's little calamities and delayed six hours from posting the newest chapter because a meteorite crashed into your car and exploded the neighborhood into a fireball that still rages (so please forgive the dreadful delay), then things like (ugh!) "practicality" and "the time-space continuum" forbid you working on a project you just thought up.

TL;DR: I want to write for LiuShen Week 2022, but I could instead, y'know not try to force myself to hurry and complete a fic that will inevitably rush through the story just to meet the deadline.

That means... I could just write it at a more normal pace and really linger into those bits and pieces that are tasty for me (the writer) and hopefully also you (the reader).

Here's the concept I came up with:

(Working Title: Joint Custody)

Standard Opening: Shen Yuan transmigrates into PIDW and is told, "Fix this."

SY, being genre-savvy, expects he's meant to take the original PIDW plot and fix all of the plot holes and things that make a reader like himself table-flip in rage.

Only... no.

He's instead dropped into the body of Shen Qingqiu, who has joint-custody with Liu Qingge over which Peak Luo Binghe will end up on after he turns 16, the deadline Yue Qingyuan gave for him deciding.

This works out overall better for Binghe because while the disciples of both peaks don't really consider him "one of their own" and as such no one but NYY befriends him, no one is inclined to bully him either.

Plus SQQ can't bully him, because that would definitely make him choose Bai Zhan and he can't abide losing to LQG so easily.

So SQQ just ignores Binghe, being icy-cold to him when he can't.

LQG neglects him in his own way, basically just because he's off doing LQG things and not out of malice. It's just how he runs his peak.

Binghe grows up more akin to Bingge - a little wolf who plays at being the white sheep.

So that's why when SY pops in and his 'perfect' Shizun starts acting weird because he clearly has huge gaps in his memory, he takes particular interest in fucking with him.

Basically, Binghe bats his beautiful starry sheep eyes at SQQ and starts shit between him and LQG, doing the whole manipulative brat playing one divorced parent off of the other to get extra attention from both.

And suddenly Binghe is soaked with attention and decides to himself, "Gosh, wouldn't it be great if both my dads got together so even when I eventually choose a peak I'd still have them both and would never lose this?"

For the curious - that's exactly how I brainstorm my stories - bullet-points with memes. I basically just made the version I'm posting here a little more readable without my shorthand stuffed into it. ;) (My outlines are pretty much the same, only I'd be breaking down the different events involved.)

SO - yes. That is now a story that's in the queue of stories I intend to write. But after I finish Cultivate.

Speaking of which:

Cultivate! I re-read what I had the other day and had one of the most annoying feelings you can have as a writer: "AAaaah I am enjoying this - where is the rest of it so I can read it???"

(Keep in mind that the following assumes you have at least a basic understanding of what Cultivate is. You can find more information in the blog entries listed here, but the summary should do ya. I put an 📓 emoji next to the entries that feature excerpts from my draft you can read.)

So far Cultivate features:

Two POVs (Shen Yuan's + Liu Qingge's) that switch arbitrarily to whomever's POV would be most entertaining or interesting.

Multiple running gags that make me giggle. (This is probably the story that has the most overt comedy of my SVSSS fics.)

Shen Yuan is a silly fucking bastard when he doesn't have to pretend to be SQQ, he of dignity and respectability.

Liu Qingge looking around SY's little home base and thinking, "Bitch, you live like this? Better take care of you because you are helpless."

Shen Yuan is: Snow White

Gratuitous paeans on the charms of both of our heroes.

The death throes of The Original Plot, only to have it threaten to come back as a zombie thirsty for vengeance.

A surprising amount of creepiness for something that's mostly fluff. (I'm considering tagging it with "mild horror elements".)

You thought I did worldbuilding before? Hold on to your socks.

Shen Yuan using knowledge gleaned from his geeky interests to try to live the Stardew Valley/Harvest Moon/Rune Factory slowlife.

It is still shocking to me that I'm ~10 chapters in and it still feels like the story just got started. I may need to post them two chapters a week just so I'm not posting on the same story for years, if ~40k really is only "just beginning" the story...

Anyway - 'tis a horrendous fate. Lament, lament the tyranny of time; etc, etc. etc.

[tossawary]

I've also been having a hard time writing Liu Mingyan POV, but in trying to work it out, I got distracted thinking about an AU where LMY is also a transmigrator, who pre-death was a BNF in the PIDW fandom for writing BL fanfiction. I think it would be hilarious if SQQ, SQH, and LMY all discover their fellow transmigrators at the same time, and spend at least some of the abyss period getting drunk and arguing about PIDW (1/2)

(2/2) Most of the arguments stem from the fact that LMY wrote Luo Binghe/Mobei-Jun, surprisingly romantic, AU fanfic and SQQ and SQH feel the need to loudly explain why and to what degree she is incorrect about this (common arguments being "but they're straight!" and "they're too manly for that kind of soppy embarrassing romance trope!"). humiliatingly, LMY's fanfic turns out to be a better predictor of the SVSSS plot than PIDW was, and she never lets them forget it

Anon, Liu Mingyan as a transmigrator that SQH and SY both utterly failed to clock is a galaxy-brained concept. She was just trying to mind her own business and stay in her own lane, except the RPF fic she was using to entertain herself in the meanwhile got a little out of hand! 

Honestly, PIDW Luo Binghe/Mobei-Jun is an extremely valid in-universe ship; your Transmigrator!LMY is extremely correct. 

I’m currently picturing her just... casually completely deconstructing Luo Binghe and Mobei-Jun’s characters using several literary lenses - Doylist, Watsonian, feminist, queer, etc. - like a fucking fandom veteran. Like, yeah, reading into Mobei-Jun’s family backstory, he’s clearly got trust issues and romance-related issues, and he values loyalty and stability. And THEN there’s Luo Binghe with his abandonment issues and control issues and making sure that no one can ever hurt him again by making himself unavailable to his partners on a real level. And they’re both clearly extremely bored with their lives - no one can really challenge either of them anymore, there are no more worlds to conquer, they’ve finally reached the “safety” they’ve been striving for and now what? 

And Airplane is at first like, “Yes! Yes, you get it!” And Shen Yuan is like, “Yes, we know this. This is known. Are you going somewhere with this?” And then Liu Mingyan swerves the conversation into: “Here’s is my extensive list of proof as to why these characters are GAY (or otherwise queer) AS FUCK.” 

And she’s got arguments! She’s got arguments like a woman who has written many thousands of words of meta and fanfiction! Mobei-Jun never shows interest in Luo Binghe’s harem. Mobei-Jun’s most significant relationships are with other men, many of whom violently betrayed his trust. Luo Binghe’s love scenes totally read like someone acting out a script - Airplane was inconsistent on whether or not PIDW was a deconstruction of stallion novels, but Luo Binghe totally comes off as someone giving in to “obligatory heterosexuality” as he goes through hundreds of ultimately meaningless relationships, right? Luo Binghe’s most lasting obsession was with Shen Qingqiu, his enemy! 

(Airplane: “...You’re not... ah, totally wrong.” *

Shen Yuan: “WHAT?”) 

She’s a character analysis fan! That’s what she does! Unfortunately, most of Transmigrator!LMY’s advice to Shen Qingqiu on how to deal with Luo Binghe’s return is to apologize profusely and cry. 

*(Airplane has to know that he’s not straight because 1) everything about his designing Mobei-Jun, 2) Airplane is relatively insightful, 3) Shen Yuan is bad enough and I can’t take it if they’re both like that.) 

[silverstark]

I stumbled upon some of your commentary on svsss and it was so funny omg I’ve never read the book and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t like it but your posts make me curious to read it anyway

^-^ I'm glad you think so thanks ^-^

Yeah I pretty much read it out of curiosity and the urge to complete my collection, and I read it pretty reluctantly. I love TGCF and MDZS so much and they were so amazing! Full of love, layered, complex, masterful. How could MXTX have written THREE masterpieces? There has to be a dud, right?

Except SVSSS is amazing too. Completely worthy of standing in the same company as MDZS and TGCF. It is VERY different from the other two and your relationship as a reader is not as straightforward because SQQ is a well-written unreliable narrator. I read a tweet or a post which I will link if I find it that said something like "SVSSS is a comedy because SQQ uses comedy to cope, but it would be a tragedy if it were from anyone else's POV." So yes SVSSS is very funny. But it is not lighthearted- there are some gut-wrenching scenes/story-lines that are all the more heartbreaking because of the (funny! convincing!) way SQQ tries to protect himself from his own terror, anxiety, empathy, and affection.

Anyway it's not for everyone but I will say, as someone who read it only reluctantly, I highly recommend it.

[spockandawe]

I doubt this is something I’ll ever even try to write, because I rarely have the energy these days to devote my energy to a ‘lol but what if’ ship. But never say never, and I legit wrote the emilonni and tlj/sqq fics, after all, so I’m going to write this down and maybe, possibly, someday come back to it.

Now, hear me out

Wei Wuxian/Jin Zixun

Yes, yes, I know, but give me a second. It’s the sort of ship where I kind of want to do it just to see if it can be done, and where the idea of ‘textual support’ is kind of laughable, and it’s not like I’m smashing together two super-popular characters who just never happened to speak, and it’s the kind of ship where I think I could only shake one fic out of it before I was repeating myself, BUT.

First, a quote:

The person at the head of the group was Jin Zixun. He said, “Zixuan, is that Wei making trouble for you again?!”

Jin Zixuan said, “None of your business, don’t worry about it for now!” Seeing that Wei Wuxian grabbed Jiang Yanli and was about to take her away, he added, “Stop!”

Wei Wuxian said, “Oh, you want to fight? That’s fine with me!”

Jin Zixun said, “You Wei, just what do you mean by going against Zixuan so many times?”

Wei Wuxian looked at him. “Who are you?”

Jin Zixun paused in shock, and fumed, “You don’t know who I am?!”

“Why should I know who you are?”

When the Sunshot Campaign had first broken out, Jin Zixun had insisted on defending the back lines, due to an injury. He hadn’t had the chance to see what Wei Wuxian was like on the front lines, and most of his knowledge had come from rumors. He hadn’t care much for him, thinking that the rumors were simply exaggerations. However, a while ago, Wei Wuxian had summoned all of the dark creatures in the forest with a whistle, calling away the fierce corpses Jin Zixun’s group had been about to capture, causing their efforts to be wasted. He was already displeased.

Now, in front of his face, Wei Wuxian was asking who he was, stirring up a strange sense of indignation within him— He knew Wei Wuxian, yet Wei Wuxian didn’t know him, and even dared ask who he was in front of everyone. It was as if this had caused him to lose too much face. The more he thought about it, the more irritated he became.

Now, there’s a thoughtful meta I hopefully reblogged to my sideblog, which I would have to dig up or recreate on my own, about the most sympathetic possible reading of Jin Zixun. If memory serves, it has a lot to do about the precarious nature of his social position, where he’s part of the Jin clan, and kind of the closest thing Jin Zixuan has to a brother, but also, everyone knows that Jin Zixuan has half-siblings coming out of the woodwork, and many of them would be stoked to get Jin Guangshan to accept them into the family. At this stage in the story, Jin Guangyao is already a major player and a hero of the war and part of the venerated triad, where Jin Zixun spent a lot of time... not in the thick of things, like most other peers of his generation.

Is he an asshole? Yes! Is... Wei Wuxian an asshole? Also yes! One of them may be a more likeable asshole than the other, but that’s part of the excitement of a story like this, trying to coax people into holding a fannish position that they’d never considered before, and aren’t particularly eager to be convinced of. I don’t think I’m bad at that uphill climb, it just takes a lot of energy that I don’t often have to begin that journey in the first place. Also, one of these assholes is a certified grade-A torturer, and it’s probably not the one you dislike. Jin Zixun isn’t starting from an insurmountable disadvantage here. 

And see, the thing that got my attention is this: Earlier in this chapter, Wei Wuxian is a little melancholy, thinking about how since the Sunshot Campaign, lots of people are scared of him, hardly anyone is willing to be alone with him, and almost nobody would ever be willing to approach him alone. And here, we get the information that because Jin Zixun was injured early and wasn’t on the front lines of the Sunshot Campaign, he doesn’t know to be afraid. He tried to provoke Wei Wuxian before the hunt, he’s about to keep provoking Wei Wuxian, he’s Jin Zixun and he doesn’t afraid of anything. Yes, he’s about to say some very hurtful things, but I look at that, and I think ‘okay, now how do we recover from this?’ Giving Wei Wuxian someone who just... plain isn’t afraid of him (but is also derailed by me, your author, from taking that to unrecoverable places) would be good for him. Jiang Cheng will antagonize him and isn’t afraid of him, but they also share years of history and are dealing with a lot of other stresses in this situation, and Jiang Cheng is asking things from Wei Wuxian that Wei Wuxian is struggling to provide, and the golden core thing is still hanging between them. Lan Wangji isn’t afraid of Wei Wuxian, but Wei Wuxian parses his concern and worries as antagonism and criticism, and those stress him out in a whole different way. This dynamic, as much as I would have to work to make it happen, would bring something new to the table.

One of my favorite activities is crackshipping with sincerity, and when I poke at this, it genuinely feels like richer territory than it looks at first glance. A lot of the antagonists share some fascinating character notes with our lead, and what’s most interesting to me here is an elevated-but-precarious social position and the various stresses that puts upon our characters. Jin Guangyao is the most obvious example, and Su She echoes it more quietly, with how he struggled within the Lan Sect and eventually left (honestly, kudos to him for him and mianmian to be two of the only characters to realize that their home was hurting them and to leave). Jin Zixun is in a family position that’s close to being brothers with his sect’s heir, but isn’t quite brothers, and is close to the seat of power, but also in a precarious social position if someone acts against him. Jin Guangshan and Madam Jin create a dysfunctional family dynamic to grow up in, where Jin Guangshan’s heart attention strays from his wife, and his wife has beat at least one kid who wasn’t biologically hers in the household.

There’s some common ground, is all I’m saying

I don’t even know what would happen, necessarily, I’m talking this all out here right now, and the interesting part of ships like this is digging in extra deep, and seeing what unexpected thing shakes out. It isn’t quite in the style of the other notable rarepair fics I have managed to write, which tend to follow a paradigm of ‘[person] is floating unmoored from the world, and [love interest] gets them engaged with life again’, but it’s not totally out of line with my interests. Svsss won’t give us more detail about Tianlang-jun? Okay, what happens if I make him hopelessly fond, what happens then? What happens if I properly re-engage his sense of humor? I hardly had anything of substance to go on with Horuss, and that fic is old, but I managed to pull interesting things out of him with Roxy. And I mean... what does happen when Jin Zixun stops self-destructively antagonizing the people around him and starts acting in more neutral ways? Not even positive, I think this relationship is going to have a strong antagonistic component, but what happens if he stops basing his interactions purely on who gets the higher rung on the social ladder?

Now, I do have a problem, which is that plot is something that happens to other people. See also: the reason there has not been a tianlang-jun sequel. I think that it would almost definitely have to do with repairing the situation between Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli and both of them managing to dial it back a LITTLE so as not to completely sabotage their family member’s happiness, and that leading things forward. And in a ridiculous pipe dream that will never be realized, because either possible pov will be completely oblivious, I would also want to include Jin Zixuan’s confused bisexual awakening and his resentful (also confused) attraction towards Wei Wuxian, even if he still ends up with Jiang Yanli, but... wei wuxian isn’t going to notice, and neither is jin zixun, SO. That’s probably right out. And the plot implications would have to be... significant. Setting it post-Sunshot campaign means that the Wen situation is simmering, and any plot that involves me untangling that mess... terrifying! I wouldn’t know where to begin! But like, also. What if I could write this ship in a compelling way. I bet I could do it. Nothing feels as good as the sensation of ‘I have scored points on my own darling readers by convincing them to like something they didn’t want to like’, and usually, I only get that from the second person pov. It would be so hard to write this ship. But also, what if I did it.

[thewickling]

Another fic idea I probably won't write but periodically haunts me.

Post-canon Shen Yuan transmigrates back to the start again. He has no idea why this happened. He's a little conflicted because he's attached the the system again. He suspects though this is due to his guilt around not trusting Luo Binghe.

He sets off to be as sweet to Luo Binghe this time around as he can within his restrictions. The prologue goes through the early chapters of Scum Villain except this time Shen Yuan struggles aganist the system because he sincerely cares of LBH. He also just feels kind of guilt about how in both times he's taken care of LBH for "impure" reasons. The first time because he was afraid and now because he wants to treat his future lover well.

He's a little disappointed when it is clear this isn't his sweet Bingmei as this time around Luo Binghe acts a little less clingy and more like a well-adjusted teen. As we go into the village storyline, Shen Yuan realizes that this LBH isn't just a little distant but he has an interest in girls which is why he's distracted enough to get caught in this timeline by the spirit with LBH.

Chapter one. We switch to LBH's POV and as the chapter goes on, it becomes very clear that the LBH we're with isn't a clean slate LBH, but Post-extra Bingge. He's thinking about how he can break free and wonders how he could have been stupid enough to get caught. How was he so distracted by this stupid nice shizun that he was taken by surprise by such a low level spirit.

This scene goes similar to the novel except it peaks Bingge's interest. How did SQQ know that the beam would break. Bingge is just constantly comparing SY to SJ and wondering how Bingmei got this nice SJ. It becomes a puzzle he wants to solve. This motivates Bingge to act like his 'foolish' younger self.

Shen Yuan is very much like... "QAQ what do I do?" on the inside when he notices that this time around LBH while close to him, isn't as sweet, tender, and clingy. "What if he still evolves into a YY protag"?? He doubles down on treating LBH well and focuses on gaining points faster to break away from the system. He has to win over LBH before it's too late QAQ.

LBH slowly realizes that his shizun is very tsundere yes but also he seems to be repeating their past in weird ways like he's trapped re-enacting their past. Except he's very clearly trying do things differently. Events that never happened the first time around are happening not only now but also things that never even vaguely happened are occuring.

Anyway, I want a story where Bingge gets softened by SY's care. And SY falls for this version of LBH too. Because the extras gave me feels about Bingge.

I also love the idea of LBH being jealous of himself (as in Bingge being jealous SY keeps thinking of Bingmei and not him.)

[butterflydm]

2020 (what a weird year)

I did not get very much done this year at all. The business I work for got us all classified as essential workers which... tbh, I did not agree with as a categorization. It’s meant that hours per week stayed the same, but my anxiety levels at work skyrocketed. And most of the time, after getting home, I basically had enough energy to check some stuff online but I mostly needed to decompress by doing something familiar, which I’ve been doing by replaying FFX and FFX2, and my brain mostly hasn’t had room for anything new. Which is a shame for all the plans I had to watch tons of new media! I had a long list of things I wanted to check out and I haven’t really watched any of it.

I did get a chance to watch a few new things (as always, tbh, any recs of mine are basically ‘you will like this thing, if this is the kind of thing you like’):

The Old Guard: Really enjoyed this movie. It’s been out for a while now, but if you haven’t had a chance to watch it, it was a fun, easy watch that also made me think some interesting philosophical questions about life. A good time! It’s honestly the only movie I watched during the 2020 pandemic period, unless I get around to watching anything else in the next couple of days.

MXTX’s Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System: I love love this story. I’ve watched the donghua (looking forward to S2!) and read the translation by BC Novels, and the story just has so many things that make my heart go ‘yes!’: it’s funny, with a charming PoV character who both doesn’t take himself too seriously and also seriously misunderstands himself in a lot of ways -- very relatable. It’s dramatic AF, with romantic lead Luo Binghe at the heart of a lot of that drama. It’s clever and I love the way the premise is used for both humor and pathos.

Tone-wise, it reminds me of works like Galaxy Quest or Northanger Abbey. Honestly, that light tone helps in some of the later chapters, which have content that is actually very dark and very heartbreaking if taken seriously, but because of the momentum of the story and the tone of the narrative, I didn’t feel like I got lost or bogged down in the darkness.

And I love the relationship between Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe a whole heck of a lot. I think the way it’s structured is clever and sweet and sad and makes for an interesting story. There is an element of an unintentional romantic obsession that SQQ created by the way he flipped between kind and cruel (against his will, which is what makes it forgivable for the audience, imo, because SQQ wanted to always be kind, though not always for the most selfless of reasons) and how LBH had to try to mentally justify/rationalize how the same man could act in such completely opposing ways. And the narrative symmetry between how SQQ thinks of LBH as the center of the universe because he’s the OP Protagonist (!) but LBH thinks of SQQ as the one that everything revolves around and how that’s narratively true because, of course, in the story that we’re reading, SQQ is the protagonist and LBH is his love interest.

I also actually really appreciated the bad sex near the end of the novel -- sex-to-save-the-world is a trope that can easily get romanticized but here it’s (literally) painful and ugly instead, as all of LBH’s trauma pairs with the influence of Xin Mo on his mind. Even through the translation, it definitely feels like bad sex written well, rather than badly-written sex that is supposed to be good, if you know what I mean. Sex can be an important narrative tool in stories and I feel like MXTX uses it very effectively here.

I think I burnt through the entire translation in just a few days. I’ve been reading a lot of fanfic afterwards and I think my favorite so far is I Wish You Were My Husband by Feynite. It’s an AU but it keeps the same kind of vibe as the original story.

Bridgerton: Goodness, so enjoyable! Julia Quinn is not My Most Favorite of the various romance writers that I read but she was one of the first writers that really got me back into reading romance and it was delightful to see her world on screen. I don’t picture people when I’m reading novels; I have to have a visual first and then I can carry that into the reading, so it was nice to be able to assign faces to some of these characters that I’m already very fond of. Simon and Daphne had a nice amount of chemistry and I loved the Bridgerton family relationships.

I hope they get to cover all the romances in the series and continue to do some updating as well -- I generally liked the changes they made to Simon and Daphne’s romance (a few I wasn’t as into but could see why they’d done it -- mostly For The Drama). And I really loved what they did with Simon and Lady Danbury’s relationship. It took me some time to tell the three older Bridgerton brothers apart but that’s pretty much canon, lol. Anyway, I was invested enough in it all that I stayed up all night on Christmas eve to watch it all and I had no regrets afterward.

I started watching S2 of TharnType but then my work schedule changed and I was working on Fridays and (see above) I just didn’t have the energy to watch anything after work. I might wait and binge the rest of the series once it’s all out, now that it’s gone this long without me being caught up.

I do think I’ll take a break from Critical Role for a while, after it comes back. I’ve just come to an unfortunate place where the show literally cannot win with me re: the romances, as I’m annoyed when they happen but also, perversely, annoyed when they get ignored because my brain goes “they gutted beaujester for this limited amount of inferior romance? At least commit to giving an adequate amount of the romances that I dislike!”. And so it becomes a vicious circle. Good sign that it’s time to take a break. My unhappiness with one part of the show is overshadowing everything else and maybe some time away will change that. Or maybe I just need to pick it up again with campaign 3. I guess I’ll see how it goes. I also admit that I’d hate to pick up the show again only to have Lucien get killed off in a few episodes.

I want to try to watch some more shows in 2021, and maybe I’ll have time, if I’m freeing up several hours every Thursday.

I want to watch Heaven Official’s Blessing and I’ve had a translation of the novel on my phone for the entire year and I really do want to read it as well. I’d like to watch Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo’s new shows (The Wolf & The Legend of Fei) as the gifsets I’ve seen have been interesting and enjoyable, and there are a bunch of shows that I’d gotten recommendations about after watching TharnType that I still want to check out too. Plus, I have the new Stormlight Archives book and I want to read that as well. So, there’s quite a list.

It’s still probably gonna be quite stressful at work for a while, at least until I’ve had a chance to get the vaccine, but at least I am going back to Thursdays & Fridays as my days off at the start of the year, so I’m looking forward to that. I’m also hoping to get back to my detailed rewatch of The Untamed, because that was so much fun but I did not have enough brain this year to do any more of it.