A Reminder of Home | Scaramouche
Summary: After dozing off on your lap, Scaramouche is met with a song that reminds him of home.
Notes: Includes fem!reader. A little on the angsty side but ends in fluff. Wanderer is referred to as Scaramouche for most of the story until you specifically call him by the name Kazuto (the name I plan to give him).
♩ Land of thunder, land of rain,
The sky is alight with the archon's grace.
In great darkness, I will not be dismayed,
For the light of my heart shall guide my way ♩
What's that sound? Is it a...lullaby?
Scaramouche blinked as he tried to make sense of his surroundings, but his eyes only found a pitch black void. Was he conscious? Was this some sort of self-aware dream? He wasn't sure. All he knew was that despite the absence of light and human presence, he wasn't afraid. If anything, he almost felt at peace.
♩ Through the waters, across the skies,
Thunder peals through the silent night.
The heavenly hosts cast their brilliant shine,
Illuminating my heart and awestruck eyes ♩
Something about this song seemed so...familiar. Was it the tune? The lyrics? No, it was something else entirely. This song, this lullaby, it made him feel.
His chest ached with a deep sense of longing, a yearning for something lost to time. Though he lacked any semblance of a heart, the spot in his chest where it would have been swelled. It was like a glass filled to the brim, threatening to overflow.
And he was about to break.
As the soothing voice continued to sing, Scaramouche felt his eyes begin to droop. Sleeping served no use to a puppet, but the atmosphere was calming and tranquil, a stark contrast to the world he'd traversed all these years.
But as he closed his eyes to fully enjoy the song, he finally realized why this tune was so familiar.
It was an Inazuman lullaby once sung to him by the Raiden Shogun, his mother.
He thought he'd long forgotten his past where he was once her pride and joy, a beautiful creation crafted by her own hands in order to meet a grand destiny. She'd looked upon him with such tenderness in her eyes as a mother would their own flesh and blood. He wasn’t simply a puppet to her, rather, he was her child, her family, her missing piece that Makoto had taken with her when she left this world. He was Kunikuzushi: an extension of the electro archon herself.
Until he wasn't.
Forgetting the fond memories of his mother took many years to do. Despite his deep-rooted resentment, such precious things could not be so easily thrown away. In fact, her presence still often visited him in dreams, a grim reminder of the peaceful life he once lived. One where he felt love in its tangible form. But that was a different time. That Kunikuzushi was a naive little puppet too immersed in playing house, almost believing he was human himself. It took his mother’s sudden betrayal for him to snap out of his elaborate dream. It was only then that he realized that he wasn’t truly a son to the archon—he was a vessel made for her own use, and he’d failed every test she’d placed along his path. She cut off his puppet strings connecting him to her kind, caring hands, sending him plummeting down into a pit of darkness.
It was his first betrayal, and it had left him with a wound so devastating that he feared it could never be healed.
Even so, she’d been the first one to show him true happiness. She’d kept him safe from the dangers of the world, showering him with all the love and care stored up in her broken heart.
How he wished he could feel that affection, just one more time.
“Kazuto? Kazuto, are you okay?”
A voice pulled him from the darkness as Kazuto blinked open his eyes, his vision blurry from…tears?
Your face was above him, hands cradling his head that laid in your lap. Oh, right. She’d wanted me to close my eyes and relax, but I started thinking about some bitter old memories.
Did he simply imagine that beautiful song, too? It seemed so real. So…comforting.
“Were you singing?”
“Yes,” you answered, brushing his tears away with your thumb. “Did you like it? Kazuha taught it to me the last time I went to Inazuma. He said it’s an old lullaby that mothers used to sing to their children.”
Yes, it’s one that my own mother often sang to me, is what he wanted to say, but he knew that if he told you, you would have sputtered out a panicked apology. It was true that even now his chest still ached when thinking back on those times from long ago, but his past was not entirely shaped by sorrow and loss. Those were also some of the happiest times in his life, at least right before his world suddenly turned on its head. He held those few fond memories deep inside of him, saving them for days when he needed that joy the most.
“Ah, I believe I’ve heard it before, though I’d only known the melody and not the lyrics.”
“It’s a beautiful lullaby. I thought you might enjoy it since it reminds you of home, but…oh, it reminds you of home.”
Kazuto took your hand in his, squeezing it lightly. “It’s okay. I enjoyed it.”
You breathed a sigh of relief, mustering a smile for him. “Good. I’m glad.”
As you gently ran your fingers through Kazuto’s hair, his eyelids slowly grew heavy. He wasn’t sure if it was from your loving gesture or just from being in your presence. Being held in your arms like this always managed to melt all his worries, just like bright sunlight beaming onto snow.
For so long, Kazuto had no place to return to. There was no place where he felt welcomed, much less where he felt like he belonged. He was simply existing, traveling from one place to another, desperate to find purpose.
But after meeting you, after journeys made together and long nights spent under the vast expanse of stars, Kazuto could finally say once more, "I’m home.”
That’s all he could ever desire. If you allowed him, he would stay by your side forever, returning all the love and care you had sent his way. It was the least he could do for you. You’d given up a normal life just for the chance to spend your short life with him—to give him all of your all your tears, all of your firsts, all of your happiness, and all of your future.
“Could you sing that lullaby again?” he asked, already nearly asleep just from your mere touch.
“Of course. I’ll sing it for you as many times as you want.”
I thought you might enjoy it since it reminds you of home. Yes, it does. But his home is not in Inazuma. It’s not in a faraway place sheltered from the outside world.
His home, he thinks, a small smile gracing his face, will always be with you.
And he will be your home, until death do you part.
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Miles Ahead
(for @wincestwednesdays)
What I was trying to tell you — we were in the car heading out of Gary, going a hundred miles an hour, a hundred twenty. It was Memorial Day. We drove with the windows down and you had one hand on the wheel and you were talking about fucking hoosiers and goddamn fourth of July rehearsal because you could hear fireworks if you listened close enough, and you started talking crazy about Mexico, about going down there for fourth of July. You said, we should go down there for fourth of July. You said, we should go down to Tijuana. You called it TJ. I laughed at you. I said, did you just call it TJ? No one calls it TJ. You said, everyone calls it TJ. I said, who’s everyone? You don’t know anyone who’s been to Mexico. Name everyone. You said, Dad, Dad’s been to Mexico, he calls it TJ. You were talking like you do and waving your hand but you had one eye always on the road, trying so hard to keep up with him. You kept switching lanes and gunning it whenever he went out of sight so we wouldn’t lose him. He was driving so fast like always and you were scared of losing him. You said, yeah man we’ll go down to TJ. I said, you wanna go down to Mexico for America’s birthday. You said, sure thing, gonna put on my little speedo and have a pina colada, you know with a little umbrella. I said, oh man, you at the beach. I’d like to see that. You said, what happens in TJ, kid. I said, we don’t have passports. You said, we don’t need passports, we just drive right across, no one cares. I said, they care down there I’m pretty sure. You said, it’s all Americans down there. I said, whatever you say, we go that far south you’ll catch on fire. You said, I swear to god I’ll turn the car around right now, let’s go right now. I rolled my eyes at you. You shoved me and you said, fuck you don’t roll your eyes at me. Besides we can get passports. I said, you mean make them at Kinko's. You said, damn right we’ll make them at Kinko's. Then you pulled up to the shoulder because Dad had slowed down and we got out of the car and you two did your low and serious talking. He said we’re splitting up. You hung your head down. He touched your neck then he touched your cheek. You watched him turn around and walk away and get in the car and drive. You saw me looking and you cuffed me across the back of the head just to make something happen. I said, how does Mexico sound now? And you said, nah it’s just Memorial Day and you walked back to the car and stopped and looked down at your keys in your hand like it was the first time you ever saw them. Then you threw them at me. You smiled when I caught them. You said, I’m tired, your turn. You let me drive. I had no license, but you let me drive and we promised not to tell Dad. We didn’t even say it out loud, no words, we just both agreed. When we got in the car you leaned back and you crossed your arms over your chest and closed your eyes and pretended to fall asleep so I would know you trusted me. I knew you were watching me. I could feel you smiling. Thank god it was dark. I said, TJ, last call. You laughed. I didn’t know where we were going. I just drove. I was so scared because you were watching me and it was your car and if I fucked up I could end us or best case scenario I’d wreck it and I wouldn’t know how to fix it. I kept both hands on the wheel and my eyes on the road and all the miles ahead. You were pretending to sleep and every once in a while a car would pass by and the headlights would fill up the inside of the car like midday and then I would look at you out the corner of my eye. All the way I thought about Mexico and you there sunburnt. I was so scared then I couldn’t speak but what I wanted to say is I’ll take you anywhere.
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