#yet another day i will spend crying over him i guess. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thelargefrye · 7 months

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GODS … mature one - shot | pt. one

pairing : emperor!san x princess!f!reader

genre : slight historical fiction, mature, dark, arranged marriage, second chance, slow burn, eventually smut

word count : 3.5k

warnings : language, blood / body gore, death / murder, hints of dismemberment, san is evil, name calling (stupid girl)

special birthday suffering tag : @sanjoongie please accept this as an early birthday present from your braincell

note : inspired by san's performance video that literally wrecked all of us. none of are safe from his power and this proved it. also this was getting a little too long so i decided to split it up into at least two parts

after your life is unrightfully taken from you, you take this second chance as a way to finally survive and make a difference for yourself. you were tired of being a prisoner and feeling unwanted.

the dining hall was empty except for you and a few guards and servants. not another soul sitting at the long dining table despite it being able to sit twenty people easily, if not more.

it bothered you that you ate alone. every meal, breakfast, lunch, and dinner was by yourself. honestly, a lot of things bother you, but you were never allowed to say what was on your mind. it bothers you that you eat alone, that you have no one to talk to, that your family willingly gave you up to some demon emperor. what bothered you the most is that your "husband" never even gave you the time of day and that you were forced to listen to the maids whisper and gossip about you.

you saw the look of pity in their eyes.

you don't want their pity. you've never wanted anything but freedom for the last three years you've been trapped in this palace.

you were supposed to marry someone who loved you. have a big ceremony and live happily ever after. instead... instead you were taken away from your family by emperor san and forced to marry him. you were a pawn to him in order to gain control over your kingdom.

a prisoner forced to spend the rest of her life trapped in a loveless marriage and life.

you do your best to push down the negative thoughts as you eat. not wanting to get choked up on tears and cry. you didn't want anyone to see you cry.

especially not these gossiping maids.

"i heard the emperor went to the brothel last night."

"again! does him and the princess not spend nights together?"

"of course not. his highness isn't interested in the princess. their quarters are on completely different sides of the palace. i'm surprised he hasn't killed her, yet."

"i am too."

you try your best to ignore them.

when you've finished eating, you get up from the lonely dining table and exit the room. the maids have their eyes casted downward as you walk past them, acting as if they hadn't just been talking about you. your personal guard, mingi, follows you down the hall.

you remember when you first arrived at the palace, san introduced you to mingi and explained how he will be your personal guard.

"don't try anything stupid, mingi has orders to kill you on sight if you do," san's words still haunt you. mingi wasn't here to protect you, but to watch over you and make sure you never tried anything stupid.

when you return to your quarters, you take your usual seat by your window. the window that overlooks most of palace's entrance and the palace wall that keeps you trapped. too high to climb and too far to even try to attempt to make a run for it. like san purposely chose this room for you as a way to mock you. to let you know that you will always be a prisoner.

still, you can't help but wonder if one day you'll be able to be free and live happily.

however, that will only remain a dream until san crushes it as well like he done to all your other dreams.

"ow," you hiss out, finger immediately coming to your lips to try and stop the small prick of blood. you guess that's what you get for getting lost in your thoughts while attempting to work on your embroider.

you look down at the small cloth with the flower design slowly being sewn into it. embroidering was the only thing that kept you sane in this prison. you're waiting for the day san takes this away from you as well.

"princess, are you alright?" a voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you look up to see one of the other guards, yeosang, coming into your room.

"i'm fine. just pricked my finger," you say and he nodded his head.

"the emperor is here to see you," he says before stepping aside to let your husband enter your room. he walks in exuding so much power and authority and you hate it. you hate him for how much control he has. you're forbidden from entering the west wing – his quarters – of the palace, yet he's allowed to come in the east wing and even your room without having to ask. you hate it.

"girl," he begins, never has he addressed you by your name. always just 'girl' or 'stupid girl' when it comes to you, like you weren't of your name let alone your title. "pack your bag, i'm sending you back to your home kingdom for a week. you'll be leaving tomorrow morning."

his words take you by surprise. you'll be... returning home? after three years of being away from your family, you'll finally get to see them?

"r-really?" you ask, standing up and completely forgetting about your pricked finger.

"what are you deaf, girl. i'm not going to repeat myself," he says with an annoyed huff and turns to leave.

"wait!" he stops in his tracks at your voice, but he doesn't turn around to look at you. "why am i going? is everything alright?"

"when did you ask so many fucking questions? be grateful i'm sending you there in the first place," he doesn't say anything else before he takes his leave. the door to your bedroom slamming shut behind him and you immediately flinch at the sound.

"are you ready, princess?" yeosang's voice catches you off guard as you look up at the palace you had been trapped inside for three years. being in the front courtyard gives you a completely different set of emotions knowing that you will be away from this place. even if it is for a week.

you asked yeosang if san was going to come, but the guard completely avoided your question. you're not surprised he's not showing up, but it still hurts nonetheless.

then something else hits you.

"where's mingi?"

"he's had some last minute orders from the emperor," yeosang says, keeping his answer vague like always. "come, princess, we have a long trip ahead of us."

you don't say anything but instead silently climb into the carriage. once you're settled inside, the carriage begins to move and you can't help but look out the window watching as you leave the palace.

you couldn't help the smile that painted your lips knowing that you were finally getting to return to your family. you knew nothing could ruin this moment, not even your ruthless husband.

yeosang let out an exhausted breath as he ran towards the palace. the guards standing at their post immediately recognized their fellow soldier, even with his beaten and bruised body.

"yeosang!" the handsome guard recognizes the deep voice from anywhere and he immediately falls into mingi's arms. collapsing from his injuries, no longer able to stand. then mingi realized something as he and some other guards helped his friend. "where's the princess?"

yeosang looked at mingi with tearful eyes before he shook his head and mingi felt something in stomach twist.

"where's the princess, yeosang?"

"i couldn't... i couldn't– bandits ambushed us... i tried, mingi, i really did, but they–

yeosang couldn't finish his words due to how choked up he was getting, but mingi understood what his friend was trying to say.

"where is she?"

"she's in the forest," yeosang answered and mingi immediately set out on his horse with his best friend and fellow guard, yunho. the two were deep into the forest before they finally came across the carriage you had left in.

the entire carriage was destroyed, the wheels broken off and the main part crashed into a large oak tree. bodies of the driver and some others were laying, scattered around and blood was everywhere.

"mingi..." yunho is attempting to be strong as he watches his friend make his way towards the carriage door. it too had been broken and destroyed and the two guards noted how all of your luggage was gone. "those bandits took everything."

mingi ignored his friend in favor of opening the carriage door. however, instead of being met with an empty carriage, he was greeted with something worse.

"fuck!" mingi has to pull himself away from the carriage. tripping over the tree roots as he bends over and vomits. the sight in the carriage burned into his eyes even as he blinks. yunho watches his friend with concern before he's watching him breakdown and sob. tears running down his cheeks and snot running down his nose and over his chin from how hard his was sobbing. mingi's throat burned from when he threw up.

yunho looked between mingi and the carriage before taking several steps towards the carriage. mingi's voice repeating "oh god, oh god, i'm so sorry. please forgive me" is like a broken record in the background. and then yunho reaches over and opens the door and the sight within makes his whole being shake in terror.

when they arrived back to the palace, mingi carried a bag with him as they reached the throne room. san was sitting on his throne with his usually bored expression; however, mingi and yunho entering caught his attention.

"what's wrong with you two?"

"your highness," yunho begins, voice shaking as he starts to talk. however, yunho doesn't know what to say. he's at a loss for words.

"well? what the fuck is wrong you both?" san asks again, standing up and walking towards the two guards. mingi doesn't say anything except hand the bag over to him. "what is this?"

"your highness, the princess's carriage was attacked by bandits. yeosang managed to make it back, but..." yunho says, finally finding his words. he continues after a moment and at the same time san opens the bag. "the princess did not make it. we brought back... what was left of her."

the image of your body laying in the carriage burns in yunho's mind. he had never seen something as horrific before during his time as a soldier and especially done to an innocent woman like you. you did nothing wrong, just someone trapped in a situation you had no control over.

san says nothing as he looks inside the bag, letting the contents settle into his mind before he's carelessly dropping the bag onto the ground in front of his feet.

"oh well."

you can't help the scream that rips through your throat as you thrash around your bed. your covers flying everywhere before settling either back onto your bed or in the floor. your heart is beating rapidly in your ears and your eyes scan the room around you.

you couldn't help but let out another scream as your door is thrown open and in comes mingi with a concerned look.

"what's wrong, princess?" in any other moment you would have found his voice a comfort. but in this moment, you couldn't even find the proper words. the only thing leaving your lips were sobs as tears ran down your face.

it had felt so real, you thought as you curled yourself into a ball. you felt like you had actually died. alone in that forest as those bandits... no. you don't really want to think about it anymore.

"princess y/n?" mingi speaks again earning your attention as you look at him with tear-stained cheeks and glassy eyes.

"i... i had a nightmare," you said as you wiped away your tears. you hated yourself for crying in front of someone, mingi especially. "sorry."

"ah, its alright, princess. just gave me a scare is all," he says before he's bowing his head towards you and leaving.

when the door closed behind him, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. your hands instinctively come up to your neck, feeling a slight ache course through your body. you try to push back the feeling as your stood you and made your way to your ensuite bathroom to get ready.

you remember when you first arrived how you had at least three handmaids to help you get ready, only helping you because they were afraid of san. however, once they realized san didn't care about you, they stopped doing their duty and showing up. only one continued to be loyal to you, yeri.

but then three months ago you found out that yeri only remained by your side because she wanted to try and get close to san. she knew she was a pretty woman and san went after any pretty woman. after she got what she wanted she too–

"princess y/n, what are you doing running your own bath?" the familiar feminine voice snaps you out of your thoughts. standing up from the the edge of the tub, you're surprised to see yeri standing at you bathroom door.

"what are you doing here?" you asked, a little surprised to suddenly see her in your room.

"hm? what are you talking about princess? i'm your handmaiden, i'm suppose to be here," she answers and something feels unease as seeing her settles in your stomach. something wasn't right.

you vividly remember the night you found san pinning her to the wall and her words that were meant to bring you down. "wouldn't you rather someone who could properly please you, your highness? someone much prettier than your ugly and boring wife?" you remember who she tilted her head to the side in a flirting manner, even twirling her hair as the word left her mouth a stabbed your heart.

you remember how san only smirked at her before continuing to have his way with her. right there in hallway and in the east wing – "your" wing.

you had thought she was a friend, but when you heard those words you immediately knew she wasn't. you trusted her and she betrayed that trust. she didn't care. she was like everyone else.

"here, princess, let me finish–

"stop talking," you cut her off, voice as cold as you could make it. you couldn't stand looking at her. "is this some sick and twisted joke to you?" you ask, glaring at her. yeri's face is immediately covered in confusion and she opens her mouth to say something. "get out. i don't need you to do anything for me."

"but princes–

"i said get out!" you've never raised your voice, but the longer you looked at her the more you realized that she was able to easily get what you could never have. san's attention.

you could have sworn you seen yeri's fake persona fall for a split second from your new attitude before she's turning on her feet and rushing out of the room.

you let your anger subdue before you're turning back to the tub and quickly turning off the water before it begins to overflow into the floor. because honestly that was the last thing you need right now after just waking up.

you allow the warm water engulf you and you let out a sigh as you sink into the water. your hair placed carefully on top of your head as a way to keep it dry, knowing it was going to be a pain to do if you got it wet. the ache and soreness in your body was still there all around you. your neck, wrist, arms, stomach, and legs all had a type of ache to them that you never experienced before.

maybe you should visit the palace doctor later, you think before you let your eyes close. however, once you close your eyes you are immediately brought back to your nightmare. the screams of the driver and other servants ringing in your ears, the carriage door ripping open and those bandits standing there and their swords shining despite the darkness of the night.

you suddenly open your eyes again in order to make sure you were still in your bathroom. eyes darting around the room as if those bandits would also be here. its only after several minutes does your heart rate calm down before you can even will yourself to get out the tub.

the water had grown cold.

"princess, are you alright? do you need to see the doctor?" one the maids ask when she notice you keep repeatedly rubbing your wrists and neck.

"i... i think i just slept wrong," you say in an attempt to brush her concern off.

"alright, princess, but if it gets worse please let someone know," she says and you nod and thank her before she's going back to her place with the other maids in the dining room.

"i heard she dismissed yeri this morning, yelled at her and told her to get out," one of the maid's said in a hushed whisper.

"really? that's surprising considering how much the princess liked her."

"i say yeri deserved it because of how she has been trying to sleep with the emperor."

trying? as if she hadn't done it yet? how is that possible when she did sleep with san three months ago?

the unsettling feeling reappears as you continue to think about yeri and the nightmare. something just wasn't clicking.

"excuse me," you say and one of the maids immediately come over to you.

"yes, your highness? what's wrong?"

"what... what month is it?"

"august, your highness."

"a-august?" your shocked by her answer. it was august? that was three months ago. how is this possible?

"p-princess are you alright? you look ill," her voice sounds far away as you begin to lose focus on the things around you. everything becomes blurry and you're quick to stand up. chair scraping along the floor before tipping over and falling to the floor.

you begin to walk away, ignoring the maids calling after you and even some of the guards, but you ignore them all. this was just some sick joke from all of them. from yeri, to mingi, to the maids, to san. you were supposed to be in october and spending a week with your family. not in fucking august with people who hated you.

you don't have time to comprehend anything else before your falling to your knees and passing out in the middle of the hallway.

after you had passed out, you had woke up in your bedroom with mingi, yeosang, and the palace doctor surrounding your bed along with a young maid.

the maid was the first to notice you awake and she immediately collapsed at your bedside with tears welling up in her eyes.

"oh, princess, i'm so glad that you're awake! we were all worried sick about you!" she said and your eyes moved from between her to the two guards and then the doctor.

"how do you feel, your highness?" the doctor asked and it took you a moment before you actually answered him.

"i'm fine," you answer despite how your body still aches, you force yourself to sit up. the young maid is quick to adjust your pillows for you as you do.

"you all can leave," you add on looking at the guards and doctor. mingi and yeosang as hesitant to follow your orders, but the doctor does so before giving you instructions to take it easy for the rest of the day. he also said that he would make sure your meals are delivered to your room and that he'll come back later.

when the three males leave, you are left alone with the maid. her doe eyes looking at you with concern as she keeps a watchful eye on you. that's when her name finally comes to you.

"yunjin..." you say trailing off as you remember that she was with you in the carriage. you remember watching as the bandits grabbed her by the hair and dragged her out of the carriage because she tried to protect you.

"yes, ma'am? do you need anything?" she asks, voice hopeful and waiting to help you. you remember she began working for you when hongjoong – san's advisor, had found out that you had no one helping you. you know he only assigned yunjin because he took pity on you like everyone else here.

however, yunjin followed you around and listened to every order you gave her. at first you were worried that she would be like yeri, only using you to see the emperor. as if you see him on the daily. but then you learned that yunjin was a devoted servant to you.

"is it... really august?" you asked her, still not able to wrap your head around everything.

"yes, princess."

what if... oh god, what if you did actually die that night? does this mean you are given a second chance? a second chance to survive and to make sure that you and yunjin and the other servants don't die.

but how were you going to do this?

and then you hear loud cheers and noises coming from outside and you have to force your body to crawl out of bed and over to the window. then you see him.

san walking through the gates and into the courtyard, a small army of followers around him. following him around like he was some god. then it clicked inside your brain.

if you were going to survive then you would have to gain his favor. deep down you know san was probably the one behind the "bandit" attack. so getting on his good side would get him to call off the bandit attack.

you were going to win over your ruthless husband.

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genshin-squabbles-and-wobbles · 1 year

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greetings. may i requst the GEnshin bois saying something hurtful to you mid argument, gotta adds some angsttt, thank you :) Cyno, scaramouche, tighnari, and ayato

Yes you may, my dear. Let the angst begin. :)

Cyno: ┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐ Lately you've been feeling lonely due due Cyno being busy investigating academic troubles for the Akademiya. Despite this, Cyno is a attentive lover who holds up to his promises, he can also prioritize the passion of his works and forget about you. You try your best to be supportive and welcome him over to your home with open arms if he decides to visit after his investigations.

However, due to feeling lonely, you decided, why not get a friend? You were the usual adventure who was doing commissions and happened to meet a friend along the way. This friend became a nice source of interaction for you, they have all sorts of information and connection. Additionally, they are very funny, and very nice to spend time with. Your friend also provides good advice on how to handle the dessert heat and the humidity of Sumeru Forest. Most of all, your friend became someone you go do commissions together with all the time.

Cyno returned from investigation his current mission and eventually decided to visit you, to your place. He was sitting next to you and explaining his investigations on illegal use of drugs that is supposed to make you intelligent, but only creates a dangerous addiction. Now, it was your turn to tell you how your days have been doing, you told him everything and how your friend really makes you happy and keep you company. Until you told him her name--

"That name..." Cyno said putting his hand up to his chin pondering.

You tilted your head to the side. "Yes? What about it?" "I don't like this friend of yours, I believe I saw her name on my list as one of the major suspects of selling these drugs."

"Haha, don't be silly Cyno, this friend is important to me, don't say things like that." You have a light chuckle but deep inside you were annoyed. You just made this friend, now you have to lose her too?

Cyno's face turned serious, as if he was back to his justice judgement persona. As you know, Cyno takes his job seriously and is thorough. "No, you should stop hanging out with her, I don't want you to fall into these types of things. And to add, this is a large organization, therefore, a large sum of the population can be in this practice."

You started to get more annoyed. "Listen, who told you that you can tell me who I can be friends with or not? I can be friends with whoever I like, this person makes me happy. You are just jumping to conclusions. You have no proof. Plus, she keeps me company, you are gone for most of the week or two and that makes me lonely. I have someone who makes me happy and not make me feel lonely."

"So I guess I should consider you a suspect of this drug organization as well then?

"....Huh?" You immediately went into a daze.

Since you would like to continue to hangout with her, you'd be considered a suspect on my list of people to investigate." Cyno said coldly, and stared straight at you. He was expressing annoyance and irritation of your resistance to his advice of course, however, his seriousness is rubbing you the wrong way. This just feels like he immediately turned against you. You were not a lover to him at the moment, just another suspect of his job and investigation.

You felt a stinging pain in your chest. Was all the things we did together meant nothing? Why did he switch to this narrative? Why did he do it, without hesitation? Is this what you do to a lover?

You were taken aback by his sudden yet subtle accusation. With a quivering lip, trying your best to not cry in front of him, you got up and walked to your door and opened it. " G e t o u t."

You told him without a flinch. Your voice radiated threat as one hot tear stroll down your cheek, keeping eye contact on Cyno.

Cyno opened his mouth to say something, but it transition to a sigh. Without another word, he slowly got up and left. That sign didn't help, that made it worse. You slowly crept to your bed and began to bawl on eyes out into your pillow.

How could he? You thought you meant more to him then that. Why did it have to turn into such a debate? You wanted a friend, not to be lonely. What was all of this for?

Scaramouche:╔══•●•══╗╔══•●•══╗╔══•●•══╗╔══•●•══╗ You were worried, Scara hasn't come home for two weeks, and you have been asking around -- nothing. This concerned you substantially, not only has he been gone for two weeks, he would have at least alluded to you in someway or some form of to where he was. However...nothing. This leads you to pace and forth in your home on a daily basis. Just what is going on with him? You know Scara can be dramatic and harsh at times, but this seems a little way out of line.

After two more days, you heard a door open. Immediately, you jumped out of your seat and opened the door wide open, yanking the door knob out of his hand.

You were delighted to see his face again, relief washes over you and you planted yourself onto him and gave him a tight hug. He wasn't hurt and he was okay. That is all that matters.

Scara raises his eyebrow with an annoyed expression and patted your back slowly in a "Okay that's enough" body language. "What's gotten into you? You act like I was gone for centuries." You pulled away and sighed. "Where were you?" "Why is that your business?" He shot down your question, right away.

"Because you were gone for two whole weeks, you can't just up and leave me like that!" You walked in front of him to get his attention to be on you. "Do you know how worried I was??"

"What? I am not a child, you don't need to baby me. Why are you so concerned about the dumbest things. You are annoying sometimes." He sighed and walked away from you.

There was an ache in the pit of your stomach. You decided not to push the subject any farther since you know he can say what he wants but it always leads into something deeper than that.

"C-Can I at least get a hug? You've been gone so long." You looked at the back of his head with pleading eyes. "Didn't you just hugged me? Why do you need another one??" He crossed his arms and shook his head. " I still don't understand you sometimes."

Rejection after Rejection

This is what echoed in the pit of your stomach, repeatedly. You feel neglected, unloved and uncared for. Why were you in a relationship with him? Why did he want to be with you, if he was going to do these things to you? Were you not good enough? Didn't he even miss you?

Overthinking swallows you whole. "I'm s-sorry."

He sighs and looks at you with the same annoyed expression as if he was dealing with some needy child. "What are you sorry about no-?" You cut him off immediately. "I'm s-sorry I can't do this right now. I need a moment to myself." You whimpered quietly to yourself holding back your tears. You didn't want to annoy him any farther by being sensitive and crying. You grabbed your things immediately and left without closing the door. Scara looked at you confused. "Huh?! Hey!" He was left behind, confused and dazed. He didn't even finish his little rebuttal.

Tighnari ╒══════╕╒══════╕╒══════╕╒══════╕ You were tending to Tighnari's garden and plants while he was out on his patrols in Sumeru Forest, along with mentoring Collei. You decided maybe you can do something nice for him. You weren't that great at gifts but maybe you can get him something nice to eat or something he can have on him with his patrols.

You went inside his house and decided maybe knitting a little notebook holder with a pencil holder will help him out on his journeys. He can also collect stuff and add it into the bag you are knitting him. After you finish knitting him a green bag with cute flowers on it, you gently placed it in a box and wrapped it neatly for him. You were excited, you wanted him to be happy and you wanted him to use your bag everyday.

You held the box near you, you then made him a nice healthy dinner since you known him to be a bit of a health finantic. You made use of a lot of vegetables and avoid using the meats. Maybe a veggie pizza sounds wonderful for him to come home too.

After a few hours, you heard a gentle click of a door and a tired Tighnari yawning in his fennec fox-like body language. You hopped up from your chair and ran to him excited. "Tighnari!" You hold the box to him.

Tighnari immediately held his hand up to you and waved you off. "Not right now. I am not in the mood for your jokes right now."

"Huh? Jokes? I am not joking about anything right now." You turned around. Tighnari didn't respond, he was busy reviewing his journal while he was sitting by his desk. His tail was messy with leaves and petals from the forest.

This was another opportunity for you since your present was for his notebook, so you tried again. "Tighnari, about your notebook, ther-"

"Please, give me a moment." Tighnari sighed and didn't move from his original position. You started to feel a little unhappy on how he was treating you. Of course you knew he was tired, but he could have at least greeted you and kiss your cheek hello. Seems like you completely out of his mind.

"Tighnari." You tried to call for his attention once more. Tighnari signed in a defeated manner, and turned his chair around to face you and leaned back and crossed his arms at you. "What do you want?"

"H-huh? Why are you being so rude and mean??" You started to feel unappreciated for your efforts and feel that it was uncalled for the way he was treating you.

"You kept calling my now, now you have my full attention now, what do you want?? If you have nothing to say, then I'm getting back to work. Don't bother me." Tighnari leaned back in his chair once more, with his legs parted, and knees hanging opposite way, and his arms crossed. A tired slouching position.

This was unfair, you did so much for him today, everyday. "Listen here. I understand you are tired, but I am no punching bag for you." You stated sternly, asserting some boundaries. "What are you even spouting about? You're wasting my time right now, is that all you wanted my attention for?" He responded harshly and uninterested. That was it. That was it? That was all?

"You know what? Forget it." You threw the present at him, and put on your raincoat on.

"What the hell do you think you are doing??" Slightly angered of you throwing a box at him, Tighnair was taken aback at your sudden throw. You ignored him. If he wants to be petty and rude, lets get petty and rude.

You went out the door and slammed it. You didn't need this. You ignored Tighnari's protest, since it was in the middle of the night in Sumeru. You decide maybe you could take some time for yourself for a while. Maybe Tighnari isn't the one.

Ayato: ..••°°°°•• °°••….••°°..••°°°°••....••°°°°••..°°••….••°°..••°°°° Today was the day that Ayato was working a heavy load of files due to a back up along the way in the initial submissions. There was an issue that had to be resolved which caused a surplus of documents to be sent straight to his desk. This load was taking him a week or even two at this point. He hasn't talked to you nor pay you any mind ever since. Thoma has tried his best to reassure you in the best way he could but Ayato was still sending out small commands to him and voicing his needs to him rather to you.

You sometimes go in and say hello, but will always be met with no response in return or mumbling about the documents in front of him. This time, you wanted his attention, you tried your best to make relaxing tea for him, maybe he can take a break a bit and finally talk to you and you can see if you can help him. You brought a tray of tea in slowly to his room and called out to him. "Ayato?" "..."

No response still. You gently placed the tea next to him and greeted him. "Ayato sweeite, you have been working for while, maybe talk a break and go for a walk with me?"

"..."

You sighed, and gave up. You decided to leave him be. You stood up until you nudged his desk, spilling his tea all over the documents he was working on. This was followed by a loud slam on the desk.

"What the hell is wrong with you?

You flinched at the sudden noise in silent room and panicked. "I'm sorry, I didn't think that would happen!" You took a cloth and wiped up the mess and gently patted the drenched document that he was working on.

Can you see that I am working? Please leave. If you want attention that bad, go pester Ayaka or Thoma."

You began to tear up right away as tears began to flow nonstop as you continued to clean up the tea from the desk and ground. Pent ip emotions and negative thoughts have all came to a wall at this very moment. You couldn't control it. All you saw was blurry and felt warm tears on your cheeks. You were trying your best to hold yourself together and not show weakness on how his comment has affected you. However, you were failing miserably, making it worse.

Ayato signed while face palming himself. "Listen my dear, I'm so-" He attempted to reach out his hand to wipe away your tears or hold your cheek as he was talking.

However, before he could even finish his sentence, you packed up the fine china quickly and walked out of his room, sliding the door shut behind you, to leave and to numb his voice behind you. Oh, now he wants to respond to you. You hear him calling your name behind you even still but you ignored it. You were feeling too much right now, you want to be left alone. After putting the tea set away, you went into your room and locked yourself in there, refusing to respond to servants, Thoma or even Ayaka.

Note from Admin Update: I fixed it up and added correct spelling and stuff. :) - Admin: Spicypepperohni

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selarina · 7 months

Text

Tracing Scars

→ Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k words

Content Warnings: hurt/comfort, megumi mentioned, canon-divergence, smut, oral sex(m!receiving), shower sex, choking Minors DNI

Read on AO3

The first time you see your boyfriend crying, you feel uneasy. You want to leave and never come back to this house again, but you stay. You sit down next to him even as he pushes and grunts himself away from your touch. You sit down on the dirty floor and you stare at the wall in front of you.

It takes an hour or maybe two, you haven’t been keeping track. For all you know you spent a whole day here. But he finally slithers his way over to you to seat himself next to you. You don’t look at him but you feel the warmth of his shadow against your own.

You don’t speak and neither does he but you know. You know this has to do with his old life.

He never speaks of it and you’ve never cared for it. Not truly. Not when that allows you to not talk about your old life.

It’s been so nice, you just worry now — now that his tears have dried up, if he’ll want to go back to that life.

From what limited information you have — it had been rough for him. The remnants of the scars you trace your hand over, the calloused rough hands that hold your cheek, the hallow part of his heart you can never seem to fill. It’s evidence enough.

“Toji,” your words come out hushed. It’s only loud enough to reach his ears.

“Yeah,” he speaks up, his voice hoarse and broken. Broken in different way from all the times you’ve heard him talk.

“What’s wrong?” you say.

He doesn’t say anything, and you expected as much.

“You don’t have to tell me,” you continue. “I can come back when you’re ready. I can leave.”

“Don’t,” his word is immediate, and it’s firm. But mostly, you think it’s scared. Even through the deep baritone of his voice, you can feel it.

“Okay,” you say. “I’ll stay. You can talk about it if you want.”

He doesn’t say anything again and you find that it doesn’t frustrate you. Maybe it should but it never does.

“I’ll stay even if you don’t want to talk,” you say, hoping that’s enough.

He doesn’t say anything again, but his hand reaches for yours and you spend a good few minutes just playing with them. Tracing soft patterns and letters as he sits rigidly next to you. With every trace, however, he softens.

Melting, and melting until you notice that his shoulder is hunched over, just a little.

You smile, and the room goes quite again but it doesn't last long this time.

“I saw my son,” he speaks up, and your smile fades its away.

“You did?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he says. “I saw him. He’s grown now.”

“Yeah?” you ask. “How does he look?”

“Like a scrawny little thing. He looks like he eats nothing. He looks weak,” he tells you. “But you know the strangest thing happened — he started beating the shit out of this other kid. Big guy, muscles and all. And then another after another. They all fell to the ground, crying for their mothers,” he says, almost proud.

“Like father, like son. I guess,” you say with a soft chuckle.

“Yeah,” he says, and you sense some pride in his word. “Maybe he’s eating well then.”

“I’m sure he is,” you smile. Your hand encloses around his, as if to whisk him away you pull and he lets you, and that’s when you know — it’s time. “Let’s go take a bath.”

—

Not a minute later, you were walking into the bathroom just outside his bedroom. Inside, he glanced at himself in the mirror. His hand card through his dark hair.

"Do you want me to get a haircut?" he asked.

You smiled and shook your head. "Not yet. I like your hair like this. Do you like it?"

"I like what you like," he says nonchalantly as he swiped aside the shower curtains. He leaned over the tub, to turn the the water on, and switched it quickly over to the shower head.

The water usually takes a while to heat up so the two of you just wait.

"You want me to stay over today?" you ask. "I brought my car so I'll be fine going back late."

"You should stay," he says. "If you're not busy."

"Well, I have work but I'll set an alarm and close the door on my way out."

He nods, as he pulls his tshirt over his head, throwing it in the laundry chute that was next to the sink.

"I forgot my toothbrush at home," you say all too suddenly.

"I have the one you used last time," he nods towards the the second toothbrush placed in a stand. "Forgot to throw it out."

You don't respond instead you just pull your top over as well.

Your hand reaches out, placing itself under the shower head, feeling the water. Immediately, you drew it back.

"It's hot now," you say.

He hums, his hand reaching for your hips and you almost yelp at the touch of his cold hands.

"Your hands are cold," you say.

"Yeah?" he asks, as his move up to your bra strap.

"Yeah," you say as he undoes the clip. You discard your bra as you turn to face him.

You reach over to meet his lips for a kiss. The kiss — it's slow and steady but as most things with Toji go, it turns into rough and desperate venture instead.

His hands grab your hips, as he kept kissing you. He gives your lips a tug before he starts sucking them. His hands move from your hips to your ass, reaching down, reaching underneath your underwear to give them a squeeze as he continued to place kisses all over your lips, all over your neck.

And finally, after it felt like the two of you had been kissing for a millennia, you manage to pull away from his greedy lips, as you lower your knees down to the cold tiled floor.

Your hand make quick work, to reach under his sweatpants and his boxers, and it doesn't take long for you to find his cock hovering just a few centimeters away from your face.

He smacks the plump of your cheek with his cock, leaving it stained. In response, you rub the skin of your cheek is soft against him, not unlike a cat.

He groans, and your hand moves to hold him at the base as you start stroking his length. Both your hands continue stroking in opposite directions, so that every centimeter of him is within your touch.

You open your mouth wide and let the tip of cock sit on your tongue, before you begin to trace your tongue up and down, as his hands come up, over your head, to pull you in, urging you to do more.

And so you do, with the push of his hand, you move yourself forward, your throat swallowing up the full length of him.

And then, he thrusts further up, managing to choke you on the bare centimeters left of his cock. A few hard pumps, and then his cum spurted down your throat as you made quick work to wait and swallow it all whole.

"Come on," his hand reaches down to you. You take it and stand up. He urges you to jump. He walks inside, stepping beneath the shower head as he turns it on.

He toggles with the setting with one hand, making sure it's not too hot, or too cold, as you stay steady in the hold of his other hand. You don't move much, but you do leave soft kisses, leaving a mark every now and then on the slope of his neck.

It doesn't take long for the shower to reach a suitable amount of hot, and just after, you find your legs reaching to wound themselves tighter around his waist, as his cock makes its way into your pussy.

Your hips meet with a loud smack, cock pressed up and into your stomach. He is rough as he pulls out, and he's rough when his glides back in. Your legs dig deeper into his back at that, they tighten as if to keep him there with you like this all the time.

He reaches for your mouth, soaking up your cries and your growing moans. And it hasn't been too long, but Toji isn't surprised that he's coming already. He feels a certain softness for you today. You generally bring it out of him but today your arms tighten and your face crunches in pleasure, he starts thinking about a life with you. A new one, a brand new one, not this temporary state of limbo he's in. He thinks about a stupid picket fence house, not that you'd want that. You'd probably want something eclectic and strange, and so, his vision changes. He imagines a slew of strange items and trash. Trash he would willingly build a shelf for.

He groans at the thought of it all.

"Toji, I wanna cum," you moan into your words, into his neck.

"Yeah? You wanna cum?” Toji grits out, as he pushes you up against the wall behind you. You don't get time to feel the coldness of the tiles, it lasts for a moment, before the sensation of him inside you comes to the forefront once again.

"Yeah," you say. "Make me cum."

His hands reach up to your throat, he doesn't press on it, he simply keeps it there for a moment before finally, he begins to squeeze. You ease your mind into the sensation of being choked and help like this. And soon, your brain starts to slacken just little by little, until all you can see and feel is him — his hands, and his cock.

His hands looosen, as they come back up to support you by the waist, easing you up and down his cock as you feel the sensation of the slew of air reaching into throat.

“Cum for me, baby,” Toji groans, his lips up close to your neck.

And so, you do. Your cunt pulses and clenches before he pulls out. The white essence reaching the tiles below before the make its way into the drain.

You reach up, still drained from the orgasm but wanting to kiss him. Your lips meet in a tired kiss.

You pull away, patting his shoulder with no force in particular. "Let's actually take a bath now," you chuckle.

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theidiotwhowritesthings · 9 months

Text

A Fresh Start [24]

Din Djarin x F!Reader

Warnings: [18+ only] controlled training combat, self defense lessons, smut (we're finally here, folks), oral female receiving

Word Count: 6,444

Summary: When you made plans for your future they never involved being hired by a Mandalorian to baby-sit his adorable, green gremlin of a child. However, after your life fell apart in the span of one disastrous night, you found it to be the only feasible option you had left. Nevarro was a far cry from Coruscant, but the thriving community turned out to be exactly what you needed. Every day you spend in Nevarro you fall more and more in love with your new life, but when your past rears its ugly head you find that perhaps peace wasn’t meant for everyone.

[a/n: so sorry this took nine thousand years. i probably have more announcements here but i'm bone tired so let's get on with it lolol also lowkey i did not edit this one to the degree in which i should have i am so sorry]

#24: RIGHT BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS

"i'm not sure what this is between us, but i am sure that i don't want it to stop, whatever it is." -j.a. redmerski

What does one wear on a date where combat was the plan? It wasn’t a question you thought you’d ever be asking yourself, yet here you were. After staring at your options for another beat, you grabbed something you’d be able to move in. The more athletic clothing you owned weren’t really the cutest, but your goal with them was focused on utility. You could always save the cute outfit for your part of the date tonight. The idea of impressing Din by being competent on his date and then pretty on yours was appealing to you.

Din was dropping Grogu off with Peli until tomorrow morning. With every second he was gone, you found yourself more nervous. Being with Din was always so easy. That was part of the reason why you fell for him so fast. Having him as a cemented part of your day was natural. So, it made no sense that you would be nervous at all, but it seemed the butterflies in your belly didn’t give a damn about logic.

You wandered back out into the main room of the house and let your eyes glance over the decor you had already set up. The second Din had left the house you had tossed up the decorations. In preparation for tonight, you had food prepped in the fridge for dinner and you had hung string lights all over the kitchen and living room. A blanket was laid out on the floor with a few pillows just for comfort. It was a simple set up and initially it had excited you, but in the time it took for you to get dressed for your combat date your anxiety had grown. What if it were too simple? What if you didn’t know Din as well as you thought you did?

Before you could second guess yourself any further, you hurried out of the house. Din had told you to meet him at the tarmac which caught you off guard. You assumed this would be taking place at least on world. It made you curious as to what he had planned exactly. On your way to the tarmac, you returned the greetings to those who waved to you. A few even tried to stop you to ask about something medical and you had to politely point them toward the clinic where they’d find Aayla. Any other day and you’d linger to help, but you had a Mandalorian waiting for you.

You had only stepped a few feet onto the tarmac when a hand was suddenly in yours and dragging you through rows of parked ships. “Din?” You questioned the shiny, beskar covered man. “Hi to you too, honey.”

“I’ve had three different people try and stop me to ask about one problem or another.” Din grunted.

“Aw,” You chuckled, “I had people try to stop me for medical advice! Look at us. Staples of the community.”

“Today, they need to make do without two staples.”

It had been a surprise when Din pulled you onto the little starship, but you were completely caught off guard when said ship broke through the atmosphere of a small, green world. You gazed out through the glass at the greenery that formed the large jungle you now flew over. He said he was taking you to a nearby, abandoned and uninhabited moon.

“Din…” You breathed in shock. Maker, this no named moon was gorgeous.

“You said you missed seeing the color green.” Din replied simply. Your eyes snapped to him in awe. It had been a toss away comment made quite some time ago. Growing up on Naboo, you had raised with forests and bodies of water. Then you bounced from Coruscant to Tatooine to Nevarro where the ground was non-existent or dry.

Din steered the ship toward a clearing in the jungle that sat on the edge of a cliff side where you had a view of the never ending trees. It was just shades of green and blue as far as your eyes could see. As soon as the ship was safely parked, you leapt out of your seat and rushed down the now lowering ramp.

The air was cool and humid. You took in a deep breath and marveled at how the smell of earth and vegetation filled your lungs. Din’s heavy steps came up behind you, and you glanced over your shoulder to give him a broad grin. You were beaming in the reflection of his visor.

“So, this is okay?” He asked with an almost nervous tinge to his voice.

“Okay?” You laughed. “Din, this is…” You shook your head and threw your arms around his neck. Din didn’t hesitate to wrap his own arms around your midsection and hold you close. “Thank you for this.”

“You may want to hold off on thanking me.” Din chuckled in your ear. “We haven’t even gotten to the rest of the date.”

You pulled back with a smirk and held a finger up at him. “I think you mean ‘courting session’.” Din let out a soft laugh before letting his hands fall from your side. You watched curiously as he began to unlatch portions of his armor. Your eyes widened and you glanced around outside the ship as if there would suddenly be a crowd where there hadn’t been one before. “What’re you doing?”

“We’re going to spar.” Din replied simply. “I want to make sure you can defend yourself.”

“And you need to strip down… why?”

Din huffed, “I’m not stripping down. I’m just removing my beskar.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

You crossed your arms with a quirk of your eyebrow, “Who says you’re not the one who is gonna get hurt here?” Din laughed while pulling off his chest piece. The laugh was accurate. There was no way in hell you were going to even land a hit on him unless he wanted you to, but you feigned shock and disbelief. “Wow. How smug of you, Mandalorian.”

Din tilted his helmet at you in a ‘really?’ manner while pulling his cloak off. It left him in just his dark brown flight suit and you shouldn’t have found the plain outfit as attractive as you did. You continued to stand there and stare with a smile as he pulled off his gloves and kicked off his boots. Din set his hands on his hips, and you motioned toward his clothes. “Feel free to keep going. I won’t mind.”

“Alright, enough.” Din chuckled and set his hands on your shoulder. He turned you around and lightly pushed you out of the ship. You laughed under your breath and once you stood where he wanted in the field by the ship, he let his hands drag down to your hips. You expected him to spin you to face him, but instead he just took a step closer. You sucked in a sharp breath through your nose at the feel of his chest against your back. In a softer voice, he leaned his head closer to the side of yours. “How much self-defense do you know?”

“Oh, you know, the basics.” You mumbled with a little shrug. If you had to quantify the self defense you knew it would probably add up to less than the basics. Suddenly, before you could even blink, Din’s right arm wrapped around your neck in a choke hold. Your eyes widened and your hands lifted to grip the crook of his elbow to try and pull him away. “Dank farrik!”

Din flexed his arm enough for you to feel it but it wasn’t cutting off your air flow. You felt nervous for a whole other reason. His helmet was pressed against the side of your face in this hold, and he was so close that you could hear the slight static hum of his modulator. “Escape me, ner kar’ta.” You swallowed nervously and tried uselessly to tug Din’s arm away from your throat. He chuckled and you tried to kick his legs but even when you did make contact he didn’t budge. “You can do better than that.”

You thrashed your shoulders with a grunt, but he locked his grip. Din lifted you up so your toes only barely brushed the ground and began to drag you backwards. You yelped in surprise and rapidly tapped against his arm⏤ the universal sign for giving in.

Din set you back down and loosened his arm to hold you by the arms, “You alright?”

“Yeah, I am.” You replied. “I just didn’t see myself getting out of that anytime soon.”

He chuckled and slipped his arm back where it had been. Din nudged you and your hands went back to the crook of his elbow. “Step one foot forward.” You stepped out with your left foot. “And use your other foot to slip to the side and turn around. You wanna⏤”

Without waiting for the rest of his sentence, you tried to slip to his right side, but the second you tried to turn you found his hold around your neck tighter as he pinned you to his side. Din let out a soft laugh, and you beat on his back a bit to try and pull out.

“You slipped out the wrong way.” Din said.

“I noticed, thanks.” You muttered.

Din loosened his hold enough that you could straighten back up. “Try the other way.” You did the same thing, but this time you spun toward the left. Now, you were facing Din’s chest with his arm resting on the back of your neck and shoulders. “Good. Now push me away.” With all your strength, you shoved against Din’s midsection and you stumbled apart. “Very good, ner kar’ta. Again.”

He made you do it a few more times with his arm tighter each pass, and it got easier and more smooth every time you did it. You did it one more time, grinning triumphantly when you pushed him away, but this time Din lunged to grab you. His leg hit the back of yours and you went sprawling back. A cry of surprise left your lips and you braced for the blow of hitting the ground. However, at last minute Din caught you and carefully laid you against the grass the two of you were practicing on.

You opened your mouth to complain, but found your voice missing. Din was straddling you with his knees pressed to the ground on either side of your hip. He held himself up so he was carrying his weight on his knees and not crushing you. The sight of Din towering over you like this made you ache with need. He was right there. You could drag your hands up his thick thighs and to his belt with such ease. If this was affecting him the same way it was you, he didn't show it.

The sound of overhead thunder from distant storm clouds made Din look up as he searched for the source. Seeing your opportunity, you sat up and threw yourself forward to push Din backwards. Caught off guard, he fell back and you threw yourself on top of him. “Ha! I⏤” You didn't register what Din did, his movements were a quick blur of color, and suddenly you were on your back again, “Hey!”

Din grabbed your wrists to pin on the ground by your head. Rather than straddling you, this time he was situated between your legs. Oh, Maker. This was worse in the best kind of way. Din tilted his head, “That was cheating.”

“Whoops?” You gave him a sheepish smile. Din shifted so his weight was pinning your arms down rather than resting on the back of his calves. You swallowed the lump in your throat. “You know, I thought combat meant I was gonna get to punch and kick you more.”

“Should I be worried about how eager you are to punch me?”

You laughed, “Really though.”

“The chances of you being in an actual fist fight is lower than you being placed in a hold.”

“I mean, I’m planning to avoid both of those options.”

“I like that plan, but it’ll help me sleep at night knowing you at least know how to free yourself.” Din replied with a low chuckle. His hands lifted off your wrists to place a light hold on your throat. Your chin tilted up, making room for his large hands, and your reflection in his visor showed you that you were not hiding how badly you wanted him. Din didn’t apply any more pressure than the light hold he already had on you, but he did lower his face closer to yours, “You think you can focus and get out of this hold before we get rained out?”

You squirmed under him, hips shifting against his, and you felt his body stiffen. A slow smile crossed your face as you moved your hips more deliberately this time. Din let out a soft grunt, and you chuckled, “Guess that depends. You think you can teach me how without getting distracted?”

“Wayii, ner kar’ta.” Din murmured. He lifted a hand off your neck to grab your right hand and set it on the wrist of the hand still pretending to choke you. “Hold here and…” Din set your other hand on his left shoulder. “With this hold, you’re gonna pivot out from under me and put me in an arm bar.”

“Um, sure.” You said skeptically.

Din nodded to your left leg, “Put that foot against my hip so you can lift your other. You need it across my shoulder blades.” You tried to do as he said and it forced your hips up from the ground in a position that felt unnatural. “Good, good. Now that foot on my hip? Lift it and throw it over my head so both your legs are resting on my same shoulder.” With a grunt you did just that and it left the arm you had been holding trapped between your arms. Naturally, the hand that was on his shoulder fell to hold his wrist and you pushed your hip back down to the ground and it forced Din onto his back as you straightened your body. “Good, that’s⏤ah!” He tapped the thigh laying on his throat. “Good.”

You let go of him, but the moment you did he was on top of you once more. You cried out, startled, but Din had his hands at your throats. “Again. Faster.”

He squeezed just enough to get you moving. You followed his instructions, trying to remember each step, and you successfully got him into another arm bar. You let go of his arm so you weren’t accidentally hurting him, but you kept your legs where they were. One rested over his neck, right under his helmet, and the other on his lower chest. His arm bent so he could rest his hand on your thigh and he gave it a playful squeeze.

Din began to laugh and the sound was so relaxed, so boyish, that it brought a warm smile to your face. You sat up, leaning back on your hands, and stared down at him. His entire body was relaxed as he lazily dragged his hand back and forth on your thigh.

“This position can’t possibly be comfortable.” You teased.

Din’s helmet turned to look back at you. “Ner kar’ta, I could spend the rest of my life right here.” He squeezed your thigh again and chuckled. “Right between your thighs.” Your face grew warm at his words and Din rubbed your leg. “You’re doing so good. Making me proud.”

You bit down on your bottom lip and watched as a drop of water plinked against Din’s helmet. Then there was a second, then a third, and then you and Din were in a downpour. You pulled your legs off him and the two of you scrambled off the ground and back to the cover of the ship.

“Just… Just give it a minute or two.” Din stood at the edge of the cover so he could peer up at the now dark sky. “It’ll pass.” The clouds had rolled in quick and sudden, but they lingered. A full ten minutes passed and Din stood in his frustrated dad pose at the end of the ramp. You wandered down to stand beside him. He sighed, “I'm so sorry. If I had known it was going to rain I would’ve taken us somewhere else.”

“Din, this place is perfect.”

“It’s storming.”

“Yeah, but,” You set your hand on his arm, “We’re together.” Din turned his head to glance at you. “That’s all that matters.” The tension in his shoulders seemed to melt. You held your hand out to feel the rain against your skin. A thought occurred to you. “When’s the last time you felt the rain on your face?”

Din shrugged, “I fell into the Living Waters.”

“That’s called drowning,” You shook your head, “And it doesn’t count.”

“I took a shower last night.”

“Still not the same.”

He shrugged in response.

You squeezed his arm, “Well, this moon is uninhabited according to you. I can sit in the ship with the ramp up, and give you a second.” He tilted his head in what you assumed was confusion. “Everyone deserves to feel the rain on their face. Just to⏤ to feel alive, and we’re not getting any rain storms in Nevarro anytime soon.”

Din nodded once. You turned to walk back into the ship, but his hand slipped into yours. He squeezed your hand and pulled you out into the rain. You flinched at the first few drops, the cold water startling even knowing it was coming, and on instinct you lifted your head up so the rain splattered across your face. Din’s hand left yours but it was quick to find your skin once more. He cupped your jawline and you tore your gaze from the sky to his visor. His thumb dragged against your cheekbone.

“Close your eyes.” Din whispered.

Without hesitation, you let your eyes fall shut. Din’s hand fell away from your face. You heard the hiss of his helmet followed by the soft thud of heavy beskar landing on soft grass. More than anything in the worlds, you wished you could watch him experience this. Din let out a quiet sigh, close to a soft moan, and your lips twitched up into a smile. A pair of hands cupped your face and your own hands rose to rest on top of his. Din was close⏤ his body radiated heat. The tip of his thumb traced your bottom lip.

“Gar're bid mesh'la.” Din murmured and he was close enough that you felt his warm breath fan across your mouth. “So beautiful, ner kar’ta.” Warm lips slotted against yours and you breathed Din in. As always, Din kissed you with every part of who he was⏤ every single time was its own unique experience. His hands roamed down your body, never leaving contact, until they found your hips. Din’s lips broke from yours but continued to brush against yours as he sucked in a breath, “I… You’re so important to me.” The hands on your hips slipped up and under your shirt. His touch hot against your cold, damp skin. “Everything, ner kar’ta.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck to pull his lips back against yours. The kiss was bruising. A desperate tangle of teeth and tongue in a attempt to get closer⏤ as if he wasn’t already pinning the two of you chest to chest with his strong arms. The kiss began to simmer in desperation, but the passion remained. Even when it seemed slow as you caught your breath, he continued to lightly press his lips against yours in soft, chaste kisses. As if he couldn’t stand being apart.

“Din…” You murmured softly. Thunder rumbled overhead. The power of the sound competed with the pounding of your heart. Din nipped at your lower lip before dragging the tip of his tongue against the spot. You let out a soft sigh, and he pulled your lower lips between his own. His hands had slipped out of your shirt so they could instead cup your face and tilt your face at the ideal angle to allow him to continue his onslaught. He dragged his lips across your cheek until they pressed against the skin right under your ear. An involuntary shiver rocketed down your spine and you trembled enough that Din must have felt it.

“I need to get you out of the rain before you catch a cold.” Din mumbled against your skin.

You sighed and when he tried to pull back you trapped him by wrapping your arms around his torso, “That’s an old wives’ tale. Being in the rain doesn’t make you sick.”

“Fine, doc. I need to get you out of the rain before we get struck by lightning.”

“If you want I can make up some statistics about lightning strikes.”

Din chuckled, his chest rumbling with the sound, and you felt him kneel down. You stayed in place until the cool metal of his helmet pressed against your forehead. At the reassuring touch, you let your eyes flutter open. In his visor’s reflection, you saw what a mess you were. Soaked to the bone with swollen lips. You groaned, “Maker, I look like a drowned porg.”

“A very cute, drowned porg.”

You shoved at his chest with a laugh and Din chuckled and began to drag you back toward the ship. The two of you left puddles in the ship and you helped Din get his armor back on. It couldn’t possibly be comfortable with how wet his flight suit was, but he’d be parking in a populated area of Nevarro and couldn’t go without it.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t do more.” Din said as you sat down in the co-pilot seat.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Don’t you dare apologize for the best first ‘courting session’ ever.”

Din let out a soft laugh and brought the ship up into the air. His hand reached over to rest on your thigh⏤ fingers curling into your skin as his thumb rubbed back and forth. You leaned back in your seat and despite the gorgeous scenery right outside the window, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his form.

There was never a lull in the conversation with Din. Talking to him always came naturally. It made you silly for ever being nervous about your portion of the date in the first place. After getting back to Nevarro, the two of you had gone back home and when Din saw the decor you babbled through an anxious explanation of your plans. He had been delighted at the sound of it. It took no time for the two of you to clean up after the courting session episode. Din traded his armor for a t-shirt and sweatpants, and you had tosses aside the wet work out clothes to put on a simple dress that made you feel cute with buttons down the torso.

Din hovered over you while you made food and helped despite you telling him he didn’t need to. Then, the two of you just enjoyed one another’s company. Back to back, eating dinner, and basking in the glow of the string lights you had hung up.

“This really is so incredible. Thank you.” Din said.

You set aside your bowl with a chuckle, “You don’t have to thank me for that, Din.”

“No, I do. I know this isn’t…” Din paused and there was a tension in his voice you couldn’t quite place. He sighed, “This isn’t typical. I’m sorry I can’t take you to a restaurant in town and sit across from you for a normal meal.”

“Din, you don’t have to apologize for that.”

“But⏤”

“I don’t care about any of that.” You shook your head. “I’d have every single meal, for the rest of my life, hidden away or in private as long as it meant I got to have them with you. That’s all that matters.”

You felt him begin to turn and immediately shut your eyes with a mumble that he was safe. Din’s fingers found the side of your face and you allowed your body to follow his movements as he pulled you to face him. His lips were on yours again with no preamble or hesitation. It only lasted a brief moment, pure and chaste, before he separated to lean his forehead against yours.

“You’re too good to me.” Din’s voice sounded hoarse as his hand traced the side of your face. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve to be cared about⏤ you deserve to be…” The word ‘loved’ sat on the ip of your tongue, and you only barely caught it in your mouth before it tumbled out. You were confident of how you felt, and you were highly suspicious that Din was on the same page as you, but it was still terrifying to consider saying it out loud. “You deserve this and more, honey.”

“Have I told you how much I enjoy hearing you call me honey?” Din leaned back in and began to pepper kisses across your lower face.

“It’s come up a time or two.” You teased in response. He ghosted up your jawline, his breath hot on your skin, until they wrapped around your earlobe⏤ teeth nipping at it lightly. You couldn’t hold back a soft moan. “Maker, Din.” You felt his chuckle as he wrapped a hand around the back of your neck. Din carefully tilted your chin up and to the side so he could finish his line of kiss down your neck. “Keep this up and I’m… I’m not gonna want to get up, and I have dessert in the fridge for us.”

Din shook his head and dragged his nose up against the column of your neck to find your ear once more, “I have dessert right here, ner kar’ta.” His words, in that deep, honeyed voice, sent shivers down your spine. Want pooled in your belly as you melted into his hands. “Do you trust me?”

“Always.” You murmured. Din pulled away from you and you groaned at the loss. “Wait, no,” Din laughed at your whine and the sound was distant, “Come back.”

“Be patient!”

You heard his approach and felt him as he settled in front of you again. Din was wrapping something around your eyes and tied it behind your head. “That feel, alright?” You nodded in response and adjusted the blindfold to sit comfortably on your face. “Just want you to relax and not worry about accidentally opening your eyes or not. This okay?”

“Only if you start touching me again.” You grinned and tilted your chin up a hair.

“Oh, mesh’la,” Din was quick to cup your face once more and he pushed you back to settle on the blanket softly, “I’m more than happy to.” You had never been happier in your choice of clothing than now with Din unbuttoning the front of your dress. One large hand cupped your breast while the other stayed wrapped around the back of your neck. Din let out a breathless whisper of Mando’a before adding in Basic, “Tell me if you want me to stop.”

You shook your head, “I swear to the Maker if you stop I’ll kick your ass.” Din chuckled and shifted so he could rest between your thighs. You accommodated him by letting your legs fall open to rest on either side of his hips. “I know how to do that now since you taught me.”

“Teaching you how to get out of two holds is a little different from kicking ass.” Din replied amused. His hand left your breast and you felt the tips of his fingers brush against the scar along your collarbone. You stiffened slightly⏤ more out of self consciousness rather than discomfort or fear. Din leaned down until his lips pressed against the skin there. “Do you know how beautiful you are, ner kar’ta? Absolutely gorgeous.” You buried your hand in his soft hair, letting out a sigh, and Din kissed your scar twice more before letting his lips taste the skin of your chest. “Breathtaking.”

His mouth found the curve of upper breast. Din was careful as he pulled your bra down and when the cold air met your now bare nipples you gasped. More breathless Mando’a filled the air and only ended when Din’s lips wrapped around your right nipple as his hand held the underside of your other so his thumb could trace lazy circles around that nipple. Din’s tongue circled your sensitive skin and you groaned⏤ hand tightening in his hair.

The Mandalorian was new to using his mouth, but just like with kissing he was quick to pick it up and passionate about exploring with his tongue. All of his movements were focused and completed with the discipline of a bounty hunter. Even in a situation that was new to him, he used his body with confidence by dedicating to the action. Din’s mouth spent ample time tasting the skin of both your breasts, sucking and licking, and your entire being felt like it was on fire. Every inch of you craved his touch, you were drunk on him and were left a squirming mess under his strong hands. Pinned to the ground under his broad body and blind to everything but the sound, feel, and smell of him.

“Maker.” You gasped and tugged on his hair. “You’re killing me, honey. It’s…” He let his teeth lightly graze your overly sensitive nipple and your back arched in an attempt to follow his mouth as he pulled up. “Fuck. It’s so much. Too much.”

Din squeezed the breast his mouth wasn’t on and then crawled up just enough to press a soft kiss to your lips, “Sorry.” He hummed and you could hear the smile he was wearing. “Just can’t help myself.” Suddenly, you felt Din’s hand brush against the outside of your leg. It trailed back and forth from your knee to where the edge of your dress laid. You were already an absolute mess but having his warm touch against your thigh was making the need for him a hundred times worse. “Can I taste you, ner mesh’la kar’ta?”

You sucked in a sharp breath nervously. Your teeth bit down on your lower lip briefly. It had been a little while since you had anyone go down on you, and with the way you felt about Din you wanted things to be perfect. The thought of Din not enjoying himself or just feeling obligated haunted your mind and the anxiety dulled the pleasure. “You know you don’t have to do that, right? It’s not⏤”

“Have to?” Din’s fingers squeezed into the meat of your thigh and your hips involuntarily rolled up marginally to find a source of friction to ease the ache in your core. “There is literally nothing I could want more. I cannot even begin to describe how often I’ve thought of this moment right here.” You gave a small, weak nod. He squeezed your thigh once more. “Wanna hear you say it, ner kar’ta.”

“Yes, Din. Want that⏤ want you now.” Your desire beat out any anxiety you may have felt.

Din crawled down until he could press a kiss to the inside of your knee. His strong arm wrapped around your thigh, settling on his left shoulder, and you found comfort in that hold. You let out a relaxed breath. Din was safe. There was no reason to feel any anxiety in the arms of this man. With that, the anxiety began to ebb away and with every kiss Din laid on the inside of your thigh gradually traveling up the ache worsened.

The edge of your dress was pushed up with his left hand and it splayed across your abdomen. “This is my first time doing this with my mouth, mesh’la. Tell me if I’m hurting you.” Goosebumps formed across your skin at the cool air that now washed over you, but the weight of his hand seemed to burn straight through you. Din’s mouth pressed against your clothed heat. He kissed through your sinfully soaked underwear.

“Din,” You gasped, your hand refinding his hair, “Fuck. Din.”

His right hand slipped under the side of your underwear to tug them down your thigh. Din kept your right leg on his left shoulder, unmoving, and he hummed, “Knee to your chest, mesh’la.” You did as he asked and he used the movement to slip your left leg out of your underwear. The second you were uncovered, Din groaned, “Good girl.”

He buried his face into your wet folds in desperation. What Din lacked in precision he made up for with eagerness. He mumbled words of Mando’a straight into your pussy between licking long stripes through your lips. Din worked in broad strokes of his tongue, and every few seconds his nose would find your clit. It’d either brush too lightly for you to fully enjoy or press firmly against it and send jolting strikes of pleasure straight up your spine.

“Din, Din.” You moaned and he pressed in deeper, his tongue circling your hole. He hadn’t come up for air in a bit and you wondered how he managed to keep this up. Regardless, it was driving you wild. “Baby, please.” Din lifted his head and the sound of him panting was unbelievably attractive to you. “Shit, Din.”

“You alright?”

“Yes. Maker, yes, but…” You groaned. “I know you’re probably not meaning to do this, but you’re teasing me and it’s got me right on the edge.” Din shifted, you heard him chuckle, and before you could try to explain to him what you meant specifically when it came to his mouth, his thumb dragged through your folds up and straight to your clit. He circled it with insane precision and your mouth fell open in a silent cry as the arousal pooling in your lower belly grew and the ache almost sent you over the edge. “Maker! Din!”

Din pulled his thumb away and you were breathless. He placed a chaste kiss to your thigh where he could reach, “I’m not that unfamiliar with it, ner kar’ta. I told you I've used my hands.”

“Gotcha. So you were teasing me on purpose?” You scoffed and Din chuckled. You tugged on his hair and his breathy laugh grew louder. You grinned and shook your head. “You ass.”

“How about I make it up to you?” Din’s lips were back on you and this time he wasn’t just broadly tasting you. His precision had turned deadly and it was devastating how fast he drove you right back to that edge. “Taste so fucking sweet, mesh’la.” His tongue circled your clit before he began to apply enough suction that stars filled your vision. Your body began to tense as you spiraled into your quickly approaching orgasm. Din hummed and spoke against your clit, teeth and tongue brushing against it as the vibrations of his words buzzed against you, “Gonna come, ner kar’ta? Fall apart for me. Let me devour you.”

His lips wrapped around your clit again and the onslaught of his mouth had your orgasm washing over you. You let out a loud cry, his name garbled on your tongue, and as you came down from your high it felt like you were falling into a soft cloud. It was only then that you realized Din hadn’t stopped for a second. The slurping sound of him devouring you was downright filthy and you moaned again.

“Just like I said before, ner kar’ta.” Din dragged his wet lips up to kiss your abdomen in any random spot he could reach. “Could spend eternity between these gorgeous legs.”

You sat up on one elbow and blindly reached out to grab the collar of his shirt. “My turn, honey.” You gave his shirt a few tugs. “Want to taste you too.”

“Who said I was done here?” Din teased. He crawled up your body, still between your legs, and his hips pressed against yours firmly. You felt his hard cock straining against his sweatpants and he let it grind against your messy pussy. You reached down for the waistband of his sweatpants and Din’s hand rested by your neck to hold himself up while his other caressed the column of your neck and along your jaw. “I’m not done eating dessert.”

Your lips curled into a broad smile as you recognized the similar position you were in to what had been going on earlier today. Quickly, your right hand grabbed his left, the one holding him up, and before you could second guess yourself you let your legs kick up just like in the courting session until you were able to push him off you into an arm bar. This was the exact position he had been in last time, but this time you were unable to see him. Still, you felt your legs across his chest as you held his arm between your thighs.

For a beat it was silent, and you were worried you had upset him in some way, but then he began to laugh. Without the modulator of his helmet, the sound was clear and downright musical. You’d trade your soul if it meant getting to see the way his face looked right now. You wanted to see his smile, wanted to see the lines that formed on his face when he laughed like this.

“Maker, you’re so perfect, ner kar’ta.” Din breathed as his free hand came up to caress your legs. “I can’t begin to… You’re… I…” He let out one more laugh. “Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum.”

“What does that mean?” You didn’t recognize those words.

“I’ll tell you one day. I promise.”

You chuckled, “Bold of you to deny someone who has you in an arm bar right now, honey.”

The hand you were holding between your legs suddenly tightened around your wrist and he pulled you toward him while pushing your legs off of him. With a yelp of surprise, he had you flipped so your arms and head were laying on his chest while your legs were sprawled out behind you. Din grasped the side of your face to pull you to his lips. His hand raked through your hair lovingly, and you sighed against his kiss. Din swallowed the sound of your content.

You felt so warm and comfortable against Din, and as if you hadn’t been aware of it before, it was startling how much you loved Din Djarin.

mando'a translations:

ner kar'ta: my heart Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum: I will know you forever Wayii: Good grief Gar're bid mesh'la: You're so beautiful mesh'la: beautiful

taglist (closed):

@aheadfullofsteverogers @yyiikes @kneelforloki @c-ms1ut @sgt-morgan @luthienaliceisilra @missbabyjay @coldlamaspersonspy @dilfsaremyfavourite @emily-roberts @djarinxore @impala1967666 @shelbyteller @faithrenner @dindjarindude @dankfarrick29 @garbo-lesbo @anythingforattention @tearfulsolace @onceinamando @catharinaroxastova @modiddys-blog @harriedandharassed @stagerightlauren @mini-bees @adoringanakin @sagegreensensei @spidey-3 @thepascalofus @hrtsforpascal @lil-dragon-draws @guccistardust @ideajpeg @leithatnight @elfamosotoga @damnzelsoul @the-anchored-sailor-girl @morks-watermelon @katelynmarieyt @taylorann2013 @chonkercatto @dheet @liadamerondjarin @fallinallinmendes @missdicaprio @jennaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @alphaash99 @djarinsmixtape @pcrushinnerd @closedaddition

#the mandalorian #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #a fresh start #din djarin #reader insert #mando x reader #mando x you #star wars #din djarin smut

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ell-alexanderarnold · 3 months

Text

Intertwined, sewn together

Summary: Trent thinks Y/n’s unlocked a dimension of love in him that he never knew existed, whilst Y/n is fighting her feelings, unsure what’s right in their relationship. The only thing that she’s sure of is her love for Trent…

Angst & Fluff

Warnings: Sad, Reader has commitment issues

Note: So the results from this poll was a one shot! I really enjoyed writing this, feels like I’ve not written angst for a while so this was so much fun.💌 Please let me know your thoughts ♡

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1st of September

You had yet another dream about him. Why can’t you move on? When will this end? He held you in a way that no one’s ever had.

It comes in waves, you miss him a little less at times and then you miss him a little more. Although you swore that he’ll never hear from you again, you debate every time after a dream to make that call. Then you wish you’d stayed, you wish a lot of things but this, this is on a whole different scale. The scale of you missing Trent, could not be measured.

The moment you met each other, you both knew right away that you were perfect for one another. Time passed and it got more difficult, nothing happened in the way you wanted.

You spent your last summer with him, knowing it would probably be the last. You both knew.

28th of July

You lied awake, exhausted from the day. He was asleep, breathing slowly. The moonlight shined on his face so beautifully. Something inside you told you to leave but you thought, how can you begin again? How can you try to love someone new, who isn’t Trent?

As tears streamed down your face you kissed his forehead lightly so he wouldn’t wake up and left.

He’s going to wake up, without you. He will wonder where you are and he’ll think that this is where the story ends he just has to accept it and move on.

The memories, the good days, the bad days, they’ll be with you two always.

7th of September

Trent was spending some time at his mum’s house, filled with love from his family but the entire time he wished for Y/n to be with him. He don’t know how many times he’d thought in everyday, everything that ‘Y/n should be here’ or ‘Y/n would’ve laughed at that’,‘ Y/n would know what do to’.

He sat in the living room with his mother, watching some football to distract him from his thoughts.

“Oh Trent! Your birthday’s in one month!” Dianne exclaimed and Trent looked at his phone checking the date.

“Yeah.” He simply responded, completely emotionless.

“You should invite some friends over, maybe that girl that was here this summer. What’s her name again?” She asked and Trent got reminded of Y/n once again. He knew his mother adored her and Y/n loved being around Dianne as well, she was like her second mother. Trent knew that at some point this was going to happen.

“Y/n Y/l/n” He answered and watched his mother’s face lit up.

“Oh lovely Y/n Y/l/n, I miss her! What are she doing these days?” Dianne asked Trent and he started to get more upset thinking of her, his mother doesn’t know she’s not in his life anymore.

“I don’t know mum, we don’t see each anymore.” Trent revealed and the smile on Dianne’s face faded away.

“I’m sorry sweetie.” She said and comforted him as he couldn’t hold it in anymore, crying in his mother’s arms like he was a little boy.

“I guess you really loved her Trent.” She said after a while of rubbing his back.

“Yes, more than anything.” He sniffled and looked at his consoling mother.

“How do you know sweetheart?” Dianne implored and took ahold of his hand.

“Because nothing makes sense without her. Like everything was just at ease with her, and I know sometimes it wasn’t perfect and I said some wrong things, but that didn’t change our love, Mum.” He explained and she listened to every word.

“What you and Y/n had seemed special Trent and I’m sure she thinks that as well. Maybe you should try again?” His mother suggested as Trent looked up at her, giving it a thought.

“I don’t know.” Trent said and rubbed his eyes, ”I think I’m going to bed.” He added and Dianne gave him a quick peck on his cheek before he went up to his room.

8th of September

Trent woke up, tears forming in his eyes immediately as he opened them. The dream, was it real? Did the love of his life enter his life again and everything was how it once was? Anyways, it just a dream.

But he couldn’t let it go, he couldn’t go back to sleep. Y/n was all he thought about and at this point he couldn’t take it anymore.

He reached for his phone, the clock said 3am. She’s probably asleep he thought, or in somebody else’s bed. He could only pray for Y/n to pick up.

The signals kept going, until it reached voicemail. “Hey, it’s Y/n leave a message and I’ll call you back.”

Just hearing your voice made his heart beat faster.

“Y/n, it’s T. Erm well there’s no easy way of saying this.” Trent started as his voice was shaking and he took deep breaths to not start crying. “I miss you, really bad and uh,” He then went silent, wondering why he’s even doing this. “It’s been very hard without you, my mum asked about you earlier, she misses you too. I’m sorry for calling this late but I hope you’re doing well,” He paused. “without me, bye.” He sniffled then broke down sobbing. His heart was psychically hurting and all he wanted was to be with you, curled up in your arms..

10th of September

You were almost done with your work and took your last sip of your tea. You were going to meet up with your friend after work but one thing changed so drastically. When you were about to call her you noticed a missed call from two days ago. Just by the look of last numbers, you knew.

As you walked home from work you couldn’t stop thinking about it. The voicemail. You didn’t want to listen too it, maybe it was just a drunk call or just some gibberish. But your heart knew, he would never do that. He wasn’t the type of guy to drunk call you so this must be something important.

You wish you didn’t care so much. You must admit that you wish you hated him. No, no you couldn’t. No matter how much you wanted to or how easy things could be if you’d actually hated him, you could never.

When you got home, you crashed down on your bed. You were dreading it, you tried to move on and not care about it, but it was impossible.

You pressed ‘call voicemail’ and then, you heard Trent’s voice.

“Y/n, it’s T. Erm well there’s no easy way of saying this. I miss you, really bad and uh, It’s been very hard without you, my mum asked about you earlier, she misses you too. I’m sorry for calling this late but I hope you’re doing well,”

“without me, bye.”

Oh. You didn’t expect that.

You sat completely still against your headboard as tears streamed down your face. He misses you. He misses you!

So what do you do now? You could just move on with your life and act like everything’s fine without Trent. Or, you could send him a message but that will ruin the fact that you promised yourself he’ll never hear from you again.

Here you go..

You: hey Trent, i just heard your voicemail. i’m sorry. don’t know what you’re doing in the next few days but maybe we can talk someday, in person?

You buried your head into your pillow and felt your phone buzz, only seconds after sending the message.

Trent: yeah i’m free, is Tuesday good for you?

You: yes that’ll work !

Trent: so maybe we can meet up in the cafe you liked near your place?

Oh gosh, he remembered.

You: sure

Trent: alright, see you there then

26th of July

One more sleepless night. He brought it up again. You fell asleep crying and Trent didn’t want to hear you cry, turning up the tv to escape the guilt he felt. It breaks your heart when you want to be with him so bad, but you’re afraid of your feelings.

“I’m sorry for pushing you away Trent.” You said after minutes of silence.

“It’s fine.” He answered, turning of the tv.

“But it’s not.” You noted.

“Just leave it Y/n, goodnight.” Trent mumbled and turned away from facing you.

12th of September

You checked your outfit and makeup for the hundredth time before you went out the door. You were a little bit late but not too late.

It was just a short walk to the cafe from where you lived. You didn’t want to go really but you forced yourself out of bed to make it. Ever since you received Trent’s voicemail, it’s been replaying in your head. Every single word. Will everything he says today also replay in your head forever?

When you walked in you noticed that he was already there, sitting at one table. You were glad this wasn’t a popular place, so that you two could get some privacy without people reporting they’ve seen you two together.

You took a deep breath before walking towards him and as you walked, he stood up. To hug you.

You could feel your cheeks burn, it felt like you were finally home again.

“Good to see you, Y/n.” Trent greeted as you sat down, still unable to relax when you were in his presence.

“Yeah, you too.” You smiled and took your coat off, you were becoming too warm.

“I ordered a hot chocolate for you, is that fine?” Trent said and you nodded back in response. Why is he acting like everything’s normal?

You got your hot chocolate from the barista who’s familiar with you and Trent.

“Lovely to see you two again!” She beamed and you and Trent looked at each other, smiling but deep inside you both knew that it’s not how it used to be.

“So Trent,” You started, taking a sip of your hot chocolate, that was indeed very hot. “How have you’ve been?” You continued.

“Well, better than July.” He joked and laughed it off but you knew he was lying.

“You?” Trent asked.

“I’m erm, I’m alright.” You paused. “I think.”

You wanted to get straight to the point, because there was so many things to talk about. Trent wanted to solve things and you too. So it was just up to one of you to break the ice.

“Can I just be honest with you?” You stated and he looked you in the eyes.

“Of course.”

“Okay I’m just gonna say it. I’ve missed you.” You revealed as you watched his eyes lit up a little.

“I’ve missed you too.” He expressed.

“No but, I’ve missed you like.. so so much, Trent.” You spoke and your voice was shaking.

“There been so many times where I wanted to call you. There’s things I’ve wanted to talk to you about but you weren’t there.” You went on and you noticed that his eyes were glossy.

“Y/n, even if you called after a year at 3am I’d still answer you know.” Trent confessed as you stopped a tear escaping from the corner of your eye.

“But I will never forget that night.” He noted, you forced yourself to think back at nights where you two argued or made love but there’s only one you’ve tried to forget.

“What night, Trent?” You implored.

“The night my heart dropped because I realised you were gone. I woke up and you were gone.”Trent shared as the tears streamed down his face.

“I can’t even begin to imagine how you felt, baby.”

Now you were both crying. You know you cannot pretend that you don’t love him. There is no escape.

“Why did you have to leave, Y/n? I don’t understand, I just wished you’d stayed.” He whispered as you both dried your tears.

“I was scared Trent. I’ve never felt that kind of love you gave me before. I didn’t know what to do with myself and my feelings.” You explained and the tears streamed down your face again.

“I know you only tried to help me but you hurt me with those words you said you know?” You observed and remembered those nights where he doubted you, why you were scared to love him.

”I’m sorry Y/n.” He apologised and took your hand in his.

“You know I love you, and that’s never going to change, never.” Trent cried and you kissed his hand you were holding.

“I know.” You whispered, almost inaudibly.

”I love you too and I’m so sorry for leaving you like that, forgive me please?” You sniffled and he gave you a small smirk.

“I forgive you, my love.” He professed and smiled.

The lady who worked at the cafe started to walk towards your table and you looked around to see that there was only you and Trent left in the cafe, it was dark outside as well.

“Sorry to bother you two but we’re closing soon!” She happily informed you and Trent.

“Oh sorry, we should get going then.” Trent answered and you started to put your coat back on again.

You both left the cafe with puffy eyes but light hearted. Trent offered to walk with you to your place which you couldn’t deny after this afternoon. Hands intertwined as you both walked the short distance to your place. You and Trent walked in silence and just took in each other’s presence after such a long time apart, well two months but for you two it felt like forever.

You now stood outside your apartment, wondering what to do now.

“Alright, so what do we do now?” You spoke up, unsure what the future holds for you and him.

“I miss you, you miss me too. So why can’t we make it work?” Trent challenged and you sighed, “Because..”

“Because? There really is no reason, Y/n.” He asserted and you both chucked.

“You’re right.” You agreed and put your hands in your pockets as the cold autumn breeze came.

“I’ll see you around then.” Trent remarked and you nodded.

As you turned your back on him I didn’t feel right, something was missing. Trent.

You turned around and called his name, little did you know he already had turned around to you too.

Your lips met, his arms were wrapped around your waist and you didn’t care about your surroundings.

How do you even let go of a person who feels like home?

“I can’t leave you now Y/n.” He laughed and you kissed his heart shaped lips once again.

“Can’t leave you either.” You blushed.

You took his hand and went inside your apartment, he couldn’t contain himself from leaving kisses all over you neck and your face.

You were no longer scared of your feelings because you knew that no matter how hard you tried to deny them, they were always there. Your love for Trent won against every fear you had.

You two were living in parallels the entire time you were apart. You both dreamed about each other, wanted to call one another but didn’t, until Trent got the courage to do it. Because he couldn’t stand another day without you.

The story you both thought died was never over.

Your love for each other was never over.

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

#trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold one shot #trent alexander arnold angst #trent alexander arnold fluff #trent x reader #trent alexander arnold fic #england x reader #footballer x reader #trent alexander arnold fanfic #football imagine #trent imagine #trent alexander arnold imagines #football fic

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munsonsmixtapes · 20 days

Note

Hi since ur request is open 👀I would like to request Eddie X wife reader since it’s mother day . Maybe Eddie has a surprise for the reader for mother day and he really show how much he appreciates her . And even uncle Wayne is willing to babysit their child .

Aww, this idea sounds so cute! Thanks so much for the request, lovely!

husband!Eddie x wife!reader

You and Eddie had been been married together for four years, but this was your first Mother’s Day celebrating as a mother after you had your daughter, Charlotte and Eddie had insisted on making it perfect for you. You had just gone back to work and were exhausted with having to take care of a baby on top of it, so Eddie had planned a date for the two of you to show you how much he appreciated you as his wife and the mother to his child.

Wayne had insisted on watching Charlotte while the two of you spent some much needed time by yourselves. Eddie had planned for the two of you to watch your favorite movie while you snuggled up on the couch with an array of all of your favorite snacks. He didn’t think it was nearly what you had deserved, but you had been so tired that he thought that it was something you were going to enjoy.

When Eddie had told you what you were going to do to celebrate, you almost cried, feeling so grateful that he somehow knew exactly what you wanted. You knew he was going to plan something, but were wanting it to be low key and that was exactly what he had come up with. Sometimes you were convinced he could read your mind.

“What movie were you thinking, lovely?” Eddie asked as you looked over the collection the two of you had accumulated over the years. It was a mix of your collections and some you had bought together.

You were torn between a rom com and a thriller but ended up choosing the rom com because you needed something like for the mood you were in.

“10 Things I Hate About You?”

“Pick whatever you want, hon. It’s your day.” Eddie secretly wanted you to pick that one because he loved when you told him he looked like Heath Ledger.

You popped the VHS into the VCR and settled onto the couch, snuggling into Eddie’s side as the movie played. You had both seen the movie so many times that you always ended up quoting it to each other when your favorite lines came up.

Eddie turned to you while you quoted yet another line and couldn’t help but fall even more in love with you than he already had. You were so beautiful and sweet and kind that it was hard for him not to. He couldn’t believe that you had agreed to go out with him so many years ago and had stuck by his side ever since. He really was one lucky man.

“What?” You asked, turning to him, even though you knew exactly what he was going to say.

“Nothing,” he shrugged. “Just like looking at you.”

“Aww, Eds, I like looking at you too.” You leaned towards him and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips before snuggling even further into him.

As much as you liked spending time alone with Eddie, you had to admit that it felt odd not having to listen out for a baby’s cry. And if you were being honest, you actually missed it. You missed rocking Charlotte back to sleep and feeling her head rest against your shoulder while you did it.

You turned to Eddie once again, not really enjoying the movie anymore since you couldn’t get the thought out of your head. You wondered if he would be okay with cutting your date short to go pick your daughter up. Maybe you weren’t ready to be alone just yet.

“What is it, honey?” His arm that was wrapped around your shoulders gave one of them a squeeze.

“I miss her.” You hated sounding like a clingy mother, but you couldn’t help it. You just missed your baby and thought you deserved to hold her with it being Mother’s Day and all.

“You want to go pick her up, don’t you?” Eddie really could read your mind.

“I guess I really am that mom, huh?”

“So what? I want to see her too.” That made you feel a lot better hearing him admit that. It made you feel less alone.

“You do?”

“Of course. I just really need to hold her.” The way he said the words was so soft and gentle and it warmed your heart. It had only been a few months and the girl already had him wrapped around his finger.

“I’ll go get her from Wayne’s.” He stood up from the couch and you couldn’t help but fall even more in love with Eddie. So grateful to have him as a husband and the father to your child. He was everything you could have hoped to have in a partner and you couldn’t believe he was all yours.

“Are you sure?” You tried to stand up too, but he just pushed you back down.

“Nope,” he shook his head. “Your job is to just sit here and look pretty. You’re not lifting a finger today, alright?” He pressed a kiss to your waiting lips then grabbed his car keys before heading out the door to go pick up your daughter for some much needed snuggles.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fluff

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mxlti-fand0m-imaginess · 6 months

Text

What If It Doesn't End Well // JJ Maybank

request: none!

prompts: none!

summary: you and jj have been in love with each other for years, and after finally getting together, you couldn't be happier. but one day things change, and jj starts pulling away. when you go to confront him, things don't end the way you were hoping.

warnings: heavy angst but there's a happy ending, arguing, crying, insecure jj, mentions of jj's home life, mentions of l*ke maybank, language, brief allusions to depression

word count: 3.6k

a/n: gn!reader, this is my favorite song of all time and i had so much fun writing this! i'm really proud of this, and i hope you guys like it!

join my taglist! album masterlist!

Around the sun and around again

You seem to look right through me

Another year being your best friend

Feels like you always knew me

“Did you ever think this would happen? That we would ever get together?” you asked JJ, lifting your head up from its spot on his chest.

“I dunno,” JJ shrugged, pulling you close with the arm he had wrapped around you. “I mean we’ve been friends for as long as I can remember, it was probably bound to happen at some point.”

You smiled and reached down to take his hand in yours. “I guess. I just never would’ve thought we would end up together.”

“Why’s that?”

You sighed, laying your head back down and snuggling closer to him. “After all this time, and after being in love with you for years, it kinda just seemed… out of reach? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve literally never been happier. But it just all felt more like a dream than something that could actually happen. And yet, here I am. With you.”

You tilted your head up and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. JJ smiled at the affection before kissing the top of your head.

“I know what you mean. I always kinda thought you’d never see me like that. I still can’t even really believe it sometimes. That someone as perfect as you could ever be attracted to someone like me.”

You laughed softly, smiling up at him. “Oh, please. I am far from perfect.”

“Not in my eyes. To me, there’s no one better.”

And I'm so proud to call you mine

Feels like I know you from another life

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm

“Do you think you guys were together in a past life?” Kie asked, pulling her jacket around her tighter as a breeze swept through the beach.

“You believe in all that?” JJ asked, raising an eyebrow at her as he pulled you closer to him.

You smiled, leaning your head on his shoulder and wrapping your arm around his torso as he draped his over your shoulders.

“I don’t know. You guys just seem so perfect together, like you’ve already been together for years.”

You shrugged, your face flushing slightly at her words. “Maybe we were. I mean, if I ever did have a past life, I can guarantee that I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else.”

“You really mean that?” JJ asked, his voice sounding emotional.

“Yeah. I really do. There’s no one else I’d rather be with. It’s you and me. Forever.”

But what if it doesn't end well

Would you still stay?

What if I fuck it up like I always do

And my shit gets in the way?

Things with JJ had been perfect. In the few months since you had gotten together, you were practically attached at the hip. Spending every second of every day together, cherishing every single moment of your newfound happiness together. Your friends weren’t even annoyed at how clingy the two of you were, especially since they had all been aware of your feelings for each other long before you confessed them.

But then one day, something changed. You could almost feel JJ pulling away from you, even if he tried to not be upfront about it. There was a growing distance between the two of you, and it wasn’t just physically. You had gone from spending everyday together, to only seeing him every other day, if that. You were lucky if you even got a text from him. As the days passed, you could feel yourself missing his presence more and more. Your mind spiraled as you tried to figure out what was going on. Had you done something to upset him? Did he fall in love with someone else?

When you tried asking your friends about it, no one seemed to have a clue. John B was always so busy with Sarah that he hadn’t even noticed that something changed. Pope was barely around to see anything since he was always so busy with school. And Kie was so enthralled with your and JJ’s relationship that she probably wouldn’t be able to notice anything wrong with it even if she tried.

So, you had no other choice than to confront JJ about it. You had always been so close to him, feeling like you could always talk to him about anything, no matter what. But this time it was different. You were nervous, your mind flooded with all the possible worst case scenarios about what could have possibly gone wrong. Still, if you wanted to salvage your relationship before it was too far gone, you had no other choice than to toughen up and talk to him about it.

What if it doesn't end well

Would we still be fine?

When the world is over and we go under

Would you still be mine?

You tried to call JJ, hoping that talking to him about things over the phone would help to ease your nerves. But he didn’t answer. So here you were, walking up to his place to confront him in person. Where he wouldn’t be able to ignore you.

You bit the inside of your cheek nervously as you walked over to him. He was standing in his yard, working on his motorcycle. You felt your heart leap at just the sight of him, suddenly realizing how long it’s been since you last saw him in person. As you grew closer, JJ looked up at the sound of your footsteps, his face falling at the sight of you, which definitely did not help your nerves.

“Hey, JJ. Can we talk?” you asked, your voice shaking with nerves despite your best efforts to hide it.

“Sure. What about?” He seemed so nonchalant about things, that you were almost more hurt by his lack of a reaction. Did he seriously not know what you wanted to talk to him about? Or did he just care that little about you?

“You know what about. You’ve been so distant lately. I haven’t seen you in days, and you almost never answer when I call you. What’s wrong? Did I do something?” your voice broke near the end of your words, your eyes filling up with tears that you desperately tried to blink back before they could fall.

JJ sighed in frustration, running his hand through his hair as he turned to face you. “No, you didn’t do anything. I just- I can’t do this anymore, okay?”

“What?” you asked, your resolve crumbling as tears spilled down your face.

“I’m sorry that things ended up like this. But I can’t do this anymore. We can’t be together anymore. It’s over.”

“Are you serious? After everything, it’s all over just like that?” your voice rose slightly as emotions swirled within you. You were absolutely devastated, but you were also enraged. Out of nowhere, JJ pulls away and then suddenly decides that he’s done with you? You could barely hold yourself together as all of your feelings poured out of you. “It was supposed to be you and me forever. What happened to that? What happened to us?!”

“I can’t do this right now, y/n. Okay? Just go.”

You opened your mouth to respond, before letting it fall shut again. You couldn’t think of anything to say. What would you even say? This was so unlike him. Not once in all the years that you’d known him had he ever treated you like this. But things were different now. Something had changed, and you still didn’t know what it was.

Around the clock, we can talk for days

'Bout how we saw it comin'

Another sign written on my face

'Cause now my blood is pumpin'

JJ sighed to himself as he watched you walk away. This was bound to happen sooner or later. He knew that you guys were never going to last. One day you would wise up and realize that you were too good for him. Or one day he might do something that would drive you away for good. Either way, he knew that he had no chance of you staying with him for good. So, he decided to break up with you first. To save himself from the heartbreak that he knew would happen eventually.

Except, things didn’t work out quite like he'd thought they would. Breaking up with you didn’t save him from the hurt that he knew would come. In fact, it almost seemed like it made it worse. He had hurt you. He had made you cry. He had broken your heart. He knew he would never forget that look on your face, how devastated you seemed. Your relationship really did fall apart, and it was all his fault.

“Fuck!” he yelled, kicking his motorcycle over in a fit of rage.

That was exactly why he had dumped you. He was so messed up. He was always so sad and angry all the time, and he didn’t want you to see that. Well, that isn’t really true. He was always sad and angry, except when he was with you. You had always made him feel normal, not like the broken monster that he viewed himself as. But now that he had pushed you away, most likely for good, he realized that he had really fucked up. You were the one good thing that he had in his life. And now you were gone. And he was alone again.

Can you just hold me for a little while?

My skin is crawling, I feel vile

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm

It had been almost two weeks since JJ ended things, and no one’s really seen him since. Even after the way things had ended, you were still really worried about him. He rarely ever stayed in by himself, usually opting to go to parties or hanging out at someone else’s house instead. But ever since you broke up, JJ’s practically been a ghost. You knew that you probably shouldn’t, but you couldn’t stop yourself from going over to his place to check on him. Just to make sure that he was alright.

“JJ?” you asked as you knocked on his door for the second time, waiting for an answer. But there was still nothing. Either he couldn’t hear you banging on the door, which was highly unlikely, or he just couldn’t be bothered to get up to answer it. You knew he was home, you could see a light on through the window and you could hear the faint sound of the television from the other side of the door.

You reached down and tried the doorknob, which much to your surprise opened the door. He hadn’t locked it. Not really a good safety practice, but right now it was working in your favor. Pushing the door open the rest of the way, you walked inside, closing and locking it behind you.

“JJ? Are you in here? I know you probably don’t want to see me right now, but I’m worried about you. No one’s seen you in a while, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You walked into the living room to see JJ laying down on the couch, watching reruns of some old nineties sitcom. You felt your heart shatter at the sight of him, he was a mess. His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were stained with tears. His clothes looked as if he had been wearing them for the past few days, and he was surrounded by empty beer bottles and takeout containers that littered the coffee table and the floor.

You frowned as you walked over to him, sitting down on the armrest of the couch.

“Are you okay? What happened?” you asked, your voice soft as you reached down to run your fingers through his knotted hair. JJ almost melted at the touch.

“I’m sorry,” he replied, his voice barely above a whisper, but you could still hear all of the pain behind his words.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to apologize. You did what you thought was best, and I’m not mad at you for it.”

He shook his head, before looking up at you as he spoke. “But I didn’t want to do it. I just-,” JJ cut himself off as he let out a sigh. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to, but could you hold me? Please? Just for a little while. Your touch always helps me feel better.”

You nodded, moving to lay down beside him on the couch and pulling him into your arms. “Of course. I’ll always be here for you, don’t ever forget that.”

But what if it doesn't end well

Would you still stay?

What if I fuck it up like I always do

And my shit gets in the way?

“I didn’t want to break up with you. I just didn’t know what else to do. We were becoming serious, and I was just so scared. I didn’t want to ruin things. But I guess that’s what I ended up doing anyway,” JJ said, finally breaking the silence between the two of you.

“Why did you do it? We were so happy together, things were amazing. What changed?”

JJ sighed, tilting his head up to look at you. “Nothing changed. I guess I was just starting to realize that we never would’ve lasted anyways, and I didn’t want to deal with all that pain after I became more attached to you. I thought getting it out of the way would hurt less. But it didn’t. I shouldn’t have done it like that, I’m so sorry.”

You frowned at his words. “You didn’t think we were going to last?”

“Did you think that we were? I mean look at us, who are we kidding? It was never going to end well between us. We’re just not right for each other. I’m not right for you.”

“JJ, what are you talking about? We were great together. We were perfect for each other. I thought that we were going to be together forever.”

JJ huffed and sat up, inadvertently pulling away from your arms. Your face fell at his actions, but you sat up too, turning to face him.

“I mean, just look at you! You’re perfect! Everything about you and your life is perfect! You have an amazing family, you’re happy all the time. You know what you want, and you know what you’re going to do with your life. You have a plan, and goals, and you want to get out of here. I was an idiot for thinking someone like you would ever want to stay with me.”

“JJ-,” you started, only for JJ to cut you off.

“No! Don’t tell me that I’m wrong, because I’m not wrong. I don’t have anything going for me. I’m sad and angry all the time. My dad’s a piece of shit, and I’m turning into a criminal, just like him. I’m barely passing high school, there’s no way I’m going to college. I have no idea what I’m gonna do with my life, but I know damn well that I’m never gonna leave here. You’re all put together. You’re perfect. And I’m a mess. I’m just a pathetic loser that you can do so much better than.”

What if it doesn't end well

Would we still be fine?

When the world is over and we go under

Would you still be mine?

You reached out and gently grabbed JJ’s face, making him look at you. Even though he wanted to pull away, he couldn’t help but melt into your touch. His eyes watered as he looked into yours, and you wanted nothing more than to take his pain away. To make him see himself the way that you saw him.

“First of all, you are nothing like your father. Okay? Nothing. You’re not turning into him, and you are never going to turn into him. Because you are a good person JJ. And so what if you don’t have any plans for the future? That doesn’t mean that we can’t still be together. The future is years away. All that matters is right now. And right now, I want to be with you.”

JJ reluctantly pulled away from your touch. “No, okay? You don’t want to be with me. I’m just a broken mess. You can do so much better than me. I don’t want to be the one holding you back from being happy. You deserve to be with someone better.”

You reached forward again and took his hands in yours. “So what if there’s supposedly someone better for me? I don’t want them. I don’t want anyone else. I want you, JJ. You make me happy, happier than I’ve ever been before. You’re not holding me back from being happy, you’re the one who’s making me happy. And so what if you’re broken? I don’t care. I want you, and I want to be with you, no matter what. And if you really are broken, then I’m gonna be right there beside you to help you put yourself back together.”

“No. No! You don’t want to be with me. You might think that you do right now, but you don’t. I’m too much for you. And even if things are okay for a little while, I’ll mess up eventually. Someday you’re gonna realize that I’m not what you want. And the longer we’re together before that happens, the worse it’s gonna hurt when it does.”

“I love you, JJ! I have never loved someone as much as I love you. And if you think that there is anything that you could do that could ever make me stop loving you, then you don’t know me at all. There is absolutely nothing, not a single thing in existence, that you could do that could ever make my feelings for you change. I am always going to want you, and I am always going to love you. And I’m going to prove that to you, no matter how long it takes.”

Woah-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Woah-oh, woah-oh, oh-oh

Woah-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

JJ’s gaze softened at your words, and you could see him visibly relax, almost as if all of the tension was leaving his body.

“Do you really mean that?”

You smiled and squeezed his hands tighter. “Every word.”

He smiled back at you and pulled you forward, hugging you tightly the second you collided with him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close, the feeling of finally being close to him again making you feel whole once more. You never wanted to let go of him again.

“I’m sorry, for everything. I shouldn’t have just broken up with you like that. I was just too scared to talk to you about what I was feeling because I was worried that you would think I was right. I just didn’t want to risk losing you, so I thought pushing you away would save me from the heartbreak.”

“It’s okay, JJ. I get it, really, I do. But if you ever feel like that again, or if you’re ever feeling anything that’s too big to handle on your own, you can come to me. I’ll always be there to help you, no matter what. And I would never judge you. I promise.”

“I know. I should’ve just gone to you in the first place, instead of messing everything up the way I did. I wish I could just go back and change it. I wish I had never broken up with you in the first place.”

But what if it doesn't end well

Would you still stay?

What if I fuck it up like I always do

And my shit gets in the way?

“Does this mean that we can give us another chance?” you asked, pulling away slightly to look at him.

“Are you sure you want to? I mean, what if it doesn’t end well? What if I panic and break up with you again, or what if I become too much for you? I don’t want to lose you.”

“JJ, you’re never gonna lose me. I love you, so fucking much. Nothing could ever make me want to leave you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, nothing could ever change that. I don’t care how long it takes me, but one day I’m gonna make you believe me. So, please. Give us another chance.”

JJ looked into your eyes, fighting with himself as he tried to turn you down, not wanting to risk it. But he couldn’t. You sounded so sincere with all the words you said to him. And even if things don’t end up the way the two of you were hoping, at least he would get some more time with you. And he would gladly take as much time with you as he could get.

“Yeah, okay. We can try again. And I’m not gonna run away this time. I love you. And I’m gonna try to not be so scared anymore. I trust you. And, I want to be with you.”

You smiled widely as you pulled JJ into another hug, squeezing him so tightly that your arms began to hurt. You felt him pull away slightly, so you did too, feeling a bit confused by this. But once you could see his face again, JJ pulled you into a kiss, and it felt like everything around you melted away. Nothing else mattered anymore. It was just you and him. Forever.

What if it doesn't end well

Would we still be fine?

When the world is over and we go under

Would you still be mine?

274 notes · View notes

hamiltonaf · 8 months

Note

Can you write a angst to fluff about Mbappé, he was very distant and cold with y/n and spend his free time with friends and neglected her or when he is home he gets angry with her and she got upset and left him and went to her friend or family to be away from him thinking maybe he is cheating or something (but it’s not the case) and when he realizes what he’s done he fight for her to go back to him and did everything to get her back and she forgives him because she is pregnant

Kiss & Make up | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Language & Angst but turns into fluff

A/N: Hello loves ! Finally got down to writing this and was quite surprised how quickly I did - I just wait for angst requests so I guess I got a little carried away. I hope you loves enjoy .xx

My Masterlist

Another weekend of thinking that Kylian and I would spend time together, but yet again he blows me off to spend time with his friends. I’ve about had it with his late nights and poor excuses. It’s driving me up the wall and I can’t stand the fake promises.

It’s almost 1am on a Saturday and he promised he would be home by 11pm. I’ve sent him countless messages, but he hasn’t replied or called me back. I even tried Achraf but he didn’t get back to me either. So, I waited. I really thought that he would at least notice how distant we’ve been lately and perhaps change that, but you know what they say… love is blind.

I had a shower and was ready for bed, but I was eagerly waiting for his arrival. He doesn’t know what’s coming.

It was 1:45am when I heard the door shut and heard his heavy footsteps coming towards our room. I was sat up against the headboard as I watched him take off his jacket and placed it on the bed. “Kylian, do you know what time it is ?” I asked seriously. “No” he said plainly as he then sat at the edge of the bed, back facing me as he took off his shoes. “You told me you’d be home by 11 and it’s almost 2 in the morning ! I tried calling you and even Achraf but both of you didn’t have the decency to even let me know if you’re coming home late !” I raised my voice. “Well, I’m here now” he said casually.

“Kylian, I swear to God your attitude is getting on my last nerve. This is the fourth or so time you blew me off for your friends. I think I’ve been quiet for far too long !” I said as I got up from the bed and walked over to stand in front of him. “Can you stop with the yelling, I’m so tired” he shook his head as he stood up and walked past me. “What the hell..you’re tired ? I’m tired of your shit excuses. Go fool some other girl who’s dumb enough to believe you. Do I have dumbass written on my forehead ?” I asked.

“Can you just shut up !” He yelled as he walked towards me. “Excuse me ?” I said stunned. “Stop with the fucking screaming. I’ve heard enough already” he said. “Obviously not ! You’re missing the bloody point as to why I even brought this up” I grew frustrated. “You’re so damn clingy, I can’t even spend time with my friends” he scoffed. “I’m clingy ? Well excuse me for actually wanting to spend time with my boyfriend when I barely even see him because I have priorities of my own. At least I tried to even make the time and you couldn’t” my voice cracked as I felt my tears pool at my eyes.

I hated crying in an argument, I never want to feel as if I’m weak, but I couldn’t control my emotions. “We talk every day. Is that not enough for you ?” He argued. “I can actually count the times we video call each other because that’s how rare it is. You can even go through our chats and see how short they are because you’re always busy” I tried to say calmly in between sniffles. My heart then told me to just leave and this isn’t worth fighting for. “You know how busy my life is and I have other priorities !” he argued. That was it.

I walked right past him without a word to our closet to pack my bag. I need to get out of here. With my tears falling even more and my vision so blurry, I barely saw what I packed in my bag..out of frustration and disappointment I just grabbed whatever clothes of mine I could find into my bag. “What are you doing now ?” He asked concerned as he watched me pack haphazardly. “I’m leaving” I sniffled. “Wait..what ? No, you can’t leave” he said as he stopped my hands. “Don’t touch me !” I said sternly and pulled my hands away from his. “You can’t leave” he said. “Just watch me” I said as I packed the last of my bag and zipped it up.

“Can we just talk ?” He said as I walked past him to grab my phone and slip on a hoodie. “Just like you didn’t care all this time, now I don’t either. You and your friends can piss off !” I said as I shoved past him when he attempted to block our door. “(Y/N) you’re being unreasonable right now. Let’s sleep and talk about this in the morning ?” He tried to reason. “Why should I even listen to you when you didn’t bother listening to me ? I can’t believe how you disrespected me within a matter of minutes. You accused me of being clingy and well I’m obviously not a part of your priorities…so continue having a ball with your friends. I won’t be a bother in your life anymore since it seems I was the problem all along”

“Babe I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that-“ he apologised. “Yes, you did. We’re over” I said lastly as I pushed past him to go outside. He continued to follow me but thank God I organised a ride whilst I was packing. “Chérie please come back inside” he said almost crying. I ignored him as I got into the car and was off to my parents' house.

The car ride to my parent’s house I just silently cried. Thank God the driver didn’t bother trying to speak to me because I was obviously not in the mood. I rang up my mum and luckily, she opened up for me. “Sweetheart, what brings you here at this part of the morning. Why didn’t you phone ?” She asked concerned. “Mum, can we talk about this in the morning ?” I said with bloodshot eyes and a tear-stained face.

Since I left, my phone was blowing up with messages from Kylian and even phone calls. I blocked his number but not from WhatsApp, just so I had the satisfaction of leaving him on read. As soon as I got back to my old room, i just felt extremely ill than usual and the next thing i knew was that I was hunched over the toilet. I cleaned myself up before collapsing on my bed and just to my luck I managed to fall off to sleep. Unfortunately, I didn’t sleep that long because I was already up 7.

I had a throbbing headache and I’ve never felt so miserable. I haven’t eaten for so many hours, perhaps eating will help. Though the thought of eating left a few seconds later when I ran to hunch over the toilet. What the hell. It then hit me that in the past 3 weeks now I was sick but ignored it thinking it was just hay fever or because I have a low immune system. Though maybe, just maybe, I could be pregnant.

Luckily my parents were still asleep, I rushed over to their car and drove to the nearest pharmacy to get a pregnancy test. As soon as I got home, I rushed over to my bathroom to take the test. Upon taking the test, I paced around my room for 10 minutes before checking the result. My jaw dropped when I saw that the test came back positive. Oh my god.

I didn’t know how to feel. I mean of course I’m happy but ugh I was still upset with Kylian, the thought of us broken up and me carrying his child just triggered my depression.

My train of thought was disrupted when the doorbell rang. It was only 8am and who the hell would come by so early to visit on a Sunday ? I unlocked the door and was face to face with Kylian. “What the hell are you doing here ?” I asked. “I just came to talk” he said softly. “Now is not the time. Please leave” I said as I was about to shut the door on his face. He stopped the door with his foot, “(Y/N) please…just allow me to explain myself” he pleaded.

“Kylian I don’t wanna hear what you have to say, please leave” I rolled my eyes. “I just need a few minutes please chérie” he pouted. Ugh not the pout. “I’m giving you a few minutes and after that I’m done” I warned. He nodded his head and lead the way to his car. I jumped into the passenger side and could feel the tension in the air. “Okay so first of all, I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean anything that I said last night, I wasn’t in my right sense. You were right, my excuses are poor, and I said all of that because I couldn’t admit that I was wrong. Though now I do. You didn’t deserve any of that shit from me. You’ve been nothing but faithful, showing me how much you love and care for me, unfortunately lately I couldn’t do the same” he confessed.

I remained silent and he continued talking. “You’re not clingy at all and you are most definitely my priority” he said. “Well you have a funny way of showing it ! Is this the part where you tell me that you cheated last night ?” I raised a brow. “What ? No ! Babe you know I’d never do that to you” he said hurt. “At this point I feel like I don’t even know you anymore” I sighed. “Don’t say that… you know me so well. I’m really really sorry to let you down last night. I promise it will never happen again, seeing you leave me last night hit me like a bus. You don’t realise how much you miss someone until they’re gone, crying myself to sleep in an empty bed was the worst thing I experienced in years” he sighed. “Now you know how I felt all those nights I waited for you” I said as I felt the tears pool at my eyes once again.

“I know baby, I’m extremely sorry. I’ll do anything to make it up to you. Just please come back, I can’t spend another day without you by my side. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. I love you so so much chérie and I mean it” he said as he grabbed the back of my hand and placed a kiss. “I swear if you mess up one more time, me and your baby are leaving” I admitted. I mentally slapped my head.

“Wait. Did you just say baby ?” He asked in shock. “Yes I-“ he cut me off, “When were you going to tell me that we were going to be parents ?” He was stunned. “Ky, I literally found out like 5 minutes ago until you came here unexpectedly” I said. “Oh my…I feel even worse now. How far along are you ?” “About 3 weeks now” I huffed. “I can’t believe I’ve been such an ass this whole time. I’m literally the worst boyfriend” he said as he held his head in his hands. “Ky, if you could admit you were wrong and apologise for it then that’s all that matters to me” I shrugged. He smiled as he cupped by face and was inches away from kissing me.

“Not so fast, you can’t think I’ll go that easy on you now” I tried to say seriously. His jaw dropped. “Oh sorry” he said softly with a pout. After a few seconds I stifled a laugh, “You should’ve seen your face. I’m kidding. Now kiss me because-“ he didn’t even let me complete my sentence before pulling me in for a sweet kiss. Had he shut me up like this last night, we wouldn’t have had this problem in the first place.

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malarign · 11 months

Text

studio nights

(when you help him write lyrics for his new single)

contains: idolbf!Jake x fem!reader | genre: a little bit of angst and a little bit of fluff | tw! crying | wc: 0,6k

reblogs, likes and comments are highly appreciated!!!

author’s note: guess who is back 😼 honestly as a musician, it is probably the most disappointing part - not being able to come up with any good melody or just being unsatisfied with your work, but i guess all creators can agree on that :’)

Jake buried his face in the palms of his hands as yet another phrase slipped his mind. He never thought writing lyrics would be so difficult yet here he is hopeless since all the good words seemed to be nonoperative. Not only lyrics were his problem, but all the melodies also didn’t sound as good as he wanted. He thought all those years of musical education and violin playing would be helpful but somehow made it even worse, setting expectations so high, it was almost impossible to reach.

Suddenly the sound of a new message notification resounded in the quiet studio. He immediately reached for it thinking it could be you. Thankfully it was.

y/nie 💞: hi my love! are you done or should I come over?

He thought for a while and bit his lip. The last thing he wanted is you to see him in that state. His hair was messy, he didn’t shave for a while, and his eyes bloodshot red from crying and being in front of a computer for a whole day. The only moment he left the studio was to go to the toilet and when Jungwon asked him if he had maybe seen their choreographer.

He finally decided to just apologize for being at work until late hour once again.

His phone lit up again showing another message from you.

y/nie 💞: well too bad cuz i’m already at hybe :)

The message made him freeze. He really didn’t want you to see him like that, having a feeling that you were going to scold him for not taking proper care of himself. He quickly grabbed his phone to take a quick shower before you came only to see you as soon as he opened ten door. He noticed the bag of his favorite snacks and a bright smile on your face, which slowly faded away as you saw how in bad shape your boyfriend was. He thought about how disappointed you were, not knowing the only person you were mad at was yourself, feeling guilty for letting that happen.

“My love…” you finally spoke and caressed his cheek lovingly. This faint touch made his lip quiver as tears started to flood his eyes.

You closed the door behind you for some privacy and engulfed him in a tight hug, that he needed so much.

“I feel like a failure. I can’t even come up with the easiest lyrics,” he cried trying to calm down at the same time.

“Jake, look at me,” you spoke and cupped his cheeks. “It’s okay to have a block, I know how difficult it is to write good lyrics and that’s why I’m always so proud of you and how far you’ve come. You never fail to impress me and many others.”

He nodded at your words which spoke to him perfectly and resolved his doubts.

“Thank you,” he simply said and smiled at you.

“Can I maybe help you? Can I see what you have already?”

A little skeptical about your idea he showed you his notes full of scribbles and crossed-off words. You took your time in reading his work and soon gave your feedback, which to your surprise seemed to untie some knots in his mind. You watched as he slowly nods and writes it down hastily, regaining his confidence thanks to both your comment and good remarks.

You spend long hours in that one small studio, thinking of good and catchy phrases and tunes in the hope that maybe both of your names are going to be listed in the final credits of the album.

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

permanent taglist: (send an ask to be added) @nicholasluvbot, @en-chantedtomeetyou, @kpopstanmeg, @skzenhalove, @nfrgirl

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httpsjeonglvr · 1 year

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tsukishima. k x fem reader

chapter warning: pregnancy,angst,freaky tsukishima,let me know if there’s anything else. I also might’ve mixed up the characters because im stupid

After your families figured out the two of you were expecting, both of you quickly got a private home away from them. This definitely had gotten to Tsukishima’s head, but he did forget that not only were you both expecting, but another little thing had decided to be with you both every step of the way.

“Are they kicking yet? Shouldn’t they be kicking?” Hyori bounces around you as you eat, the child’s words making you more anxious then they should have.

That was the problem, they should be kicking by now. Kei had been gone every day from sunup to sundown, barely able to escape work since it was getting closer for him and his team to start playing agains You knew he was going extra tough on him because he was your fiancé ,but the fact you both barely had time to spend with each other alone made you more emotional than your pregnancy hormones.

You inhale shakily, biting into your food as Hyori pauses, sitting next to you. “It will be okay, Y/N! The babies will be here soon!”

It was a guess that you were having twins, your tummy was bigger than both Hinata’s wife pregnancy was with their children. You didn’t know if you were having twins, you couldn’t even feel them, and it terrified you.

“I hope they do, Hyori,” you giggle half heartedly, stroking her hair with a sigh. “I truly hope.”

Her face scrunched as she looked up at you in confusion. “Why would you hope? They’ll come, I promise! And then you will have two babies!”

You laugh sadly, looking away from her to wipe your eyes from the onsetting tears. You were doing everything you could to believe her, but something felt wrong, and you couldn’t think if it was truly because something was wrong or you were making yourself feel that something was wrong.

“Why are you crying?” She whispers, trying to console you as much as she could as she hugged you. “Don’t cry, Daddy will be back soon!”

“I am not crying! Do not worry, I am fine,” you continue to rub your eyes, sniffling lightly as Hyori pouts. “Besides, your dad should be here soon, so it would be time for you to go to bed.”

“I don’t want to go bed, I want to stay up with you!” Hyori pulls away, sitting down with a pout before she gets picked up, yelping as Kei pulls her over his shoulder.

“What if mommy wants to sleep? You never let her sleep peacefully, you are going to bed,” Kei walks out of the living room , Hyori fighting him by banging on his back. “Say good night to mommy!”

“No! I don’t want to leave, mommy!” She calls to you for help, but you giggle lightly and wave at her disappearing form.

When they’re finally out of view, your smile falls quickly as you start picking up your area, putting up your food before moving to your room. You inhale deeply, letting your fingers trail over your stomach softly before sitting down on your bed. You lay back, closing your eyes as you let your fingers shape your tummy, feeling and trying to find some sort of sign of your baby, or babies, moving.

You didn’t hear Kei walk in, slowly coming behind your form to sit near your head, stroking your face. You open your eyes, sighing shakily as you lean into his large palm before he leaned down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Is there something wrong?”

“They are not kicking,” you whispered to him, moving one of your hands to grab his. “My mother said they should be kicking by now. It makes me worried.”

Kei shakes his head, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “You need not to worry. There are plenty of reasons for a child not to kick, especially with a mother as stubborn as you.”

You cracked a smile at that as he leaned down, placing a hand on yours before letting his fingers dance along your stretched belly. “They will be so active when they come out of you. That is what they are saving for.”

Your eyes water as you lean into him, shaking your head with a shaky breath, whimpering softly. “I hope so, Kei. This… this does not feel right, nothing feels right anymore.”

Kei moves to go over you, kneeling over your calves as he shaped his hands over your stomach, pressing soft kisses from your throat, over your necklace to down between your chest before kissing firmly against your belly button. You let your hands intertwine with his, sighing heavily as he lets his tongue trail over your stretch marks.

“You need to make some movements for your mommy,” he mumbles, nuzzling his nose against your pale blue skin. “She is scared that you are a little sleepy in there. I get it, she’s all tight and warm-”

“Kei.”

“I wanted to be inside of her every day too but-”

“You better stop talking like that to our children, Kei.”

“But you gotta give your mommy some signs. You gotta give us a little bit of movement,” he pressed a kiss to your rib, mumbling something only he could hear. “Come on baby, just give us a sign. Just give us some signs, please.”

His voice was breaking as your fingers went to his head, your head tilting back as tears filled your eyes. He exhaled heavily against your skin, a gasp escaping your lips as something slams into your side. You yelped, Kei shooting up as two pains pressed into each side of your ribs.

“Kei! Kei, they are kicking!” You take his hands, moving them to each place where they kick again. You whimper as they push into your muscles, Kei laughing as he massages your sides.

“There we go, darling, they’re there. I promise you, they’re there,” he kissed your jaw as he rises, pecking your lips softly. “I think they like it when their daddy talks to them.”

His hand trails to your side, their kicks following as you hiss, the children obviously excited with their fathers touch. “I think they just like their daddy, Kei,” you whisper as he smiles, pressing his lips onto yours all over again as you wrap your arms around his neck. You wince, pulling away when they kick the center of your stomach at the same time, almost trying to push Kei away from you. “Or they do not like you touching me.”

Kei rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “I am going to believe that they like me.”

“They’re monsters,” Kageyama says, child in his arms as Akaashi bobs the other up and down slightly, your oldest son already asleep. “That one specifically!”

He points at your youngest, the other young boy sitting peacefully as Hinata plays with the middle child, bouncing him and down. “He just does not like your ugly face.”

It was almost on cue when he got slapped in the face, Akaashi laughing as Hinata sits in front of your youngest, offering him a small stick.

“Hinata, what are you doing?”

“I want to see what he does with it,” he explains, taking his own stick and offering it. Your child is confused for a second, Kei watching from behind you, stirring the tea he had prepared to ease the headache you had. He sits down behind you, slowly placing the warm cup into your hands before your youngest softly poked Hinata’s nose. The older man makes a face before the child drags it up to his forehead, slapping his skin softly. “That was… odd.”

“Maybe he just likes Hinata,” Yachi explains, sitting next to her friend to take the child Kageyama was fixing to throw hands with. “And that one does not like Kageyama.”

“Let me see that one!” Kageyama points at Akaashi who flips him off, holding Jin closer to his form.

“No, find another one!”

Yachi yelps as Nico begins to cry in her arms, Kei quickly standing to scoop up the child. “I’m sorry! I do not know what I did!”

Kei shakes his head, laughing lightly. “You have no need to worry. He is most likely just tired.”

He gives you your child, watching as he calms down immediately and nuzzles into your chest. Your youngest, Taro, continues to hit Hinata’s stick, Hinata blocking his attacks so that they wouldn’t hit his face. “He’s going to be good with defense,” you tell Kei who nods, laughing as your child slaps Hinata in the cheek. “Very good with defense”

Hinata hissed in pain, the child’s eyes widening and tears filling his eyes before a loud cry filled the room. It was like a chorus, the sobs that followed afterwards from your two other sons, Akaashi gasping in surprise from the previously calm child. Hinata curses as he scoops up the baby, and Akaashi quickly brings your child to Kei as Hinata bounced him up and down. You lean back, kissing the child’s temple as Hinata quickly calms down Nico who begins to laugh.

“You little faker!” Kageyama screeches.

“I will see you later. Coach wanted to send me to the court to get a special sort of technique for the game tonight,” he squeezed your shoulder as he flicked the child’s head lovingly. “Have you both come up with names?”

Kei nods, smiling. “We have.”

“And?”

You push him away by his forehead, Hinata walking over to hand you Nico. “I will be going with him. We will see you both later, good luck.”

You smile, nodding with a giggle as Hinata grins at you, Kageyama cursing. “I guess I’m going with them so I don’t seem like I do not want to help.”

He leans down, pressing his palm to your forehead as you push him away. “You are as much help as all of them. Thank you.”

“See, Y/N thinks I help,” he sticks his tongue out at his friend who pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

“She doesn’t see you fooling around when we play,” your partner responds as you giggle, the rest of them saying their goodbyes as you lean back against him, sighing heavily at the children in your arms.

“Did you like my name suggestions?” He whispers into your ear, his fingers running up and down your arms. “I thought Tamaki was a pretty good one.”

“Oh, thank God you did not get your father’s naming skills,” you mock him as he rolled his eyes playfully. “No, I did take some inspiration. Would you like to know?”

“Am I allowed to know before the game?” He whispers against your temple. “I want to know if one of my names made it on the list.”

“They did not but,” you look back and smile. “Their names are Shota, Taro, and Nico. Is that okay?”

His eyes widened, watering as he leaned into your neck. “They’re lovely. Beautiful, so so beautiful my darling girl. And boys.”

“I love you, Kei.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

With those few words, everything else was set. He pressed a kiss to your lips, shifting Shota, cupping your face as he leans over your body. His thumb parts your lips, holding your chin as he slowly pushes himself up, standing. He pulls away, smiling at you before taking the Nico from you, arranging the children to grab Taro.

“Let me go lay these boys down and then I can give you a nice gift before the game, hm?”

You giggled as he walked off, slowly standing as you walked to your shared room, Kei laying the children down in their own shared room before coming in. He slowly kneeled next to your body, pressing a firm kiss to your tummy as you lean your head back, holding his head. “I want to put another baby in you.”

“Let’s wait a little while you horn dog” Kei hummed kissing you tummy again before pulling the covers on you two.

I didn’t know how to end it 🤷🏾‍♀️

Haikyuu TAGLIST:

@pelicanpizza

#tsukishima kei #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x reader #dad!haikyuu #x pregnant reader #x poc reader #haikyuu x poc!reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #tsukishima x you #anime x you #anime x reader #james cameron avatar #avatar x reader

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lanassgirlll · 7 months

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Do you love me?

Klaus Mikaelson x Female Reader

Warnings: fluff, the tiniest bit of angst, no mentions of y/n

Words: 1,7k

AN: This is my first time writing and actually posting something, so please excuse any grammar mistakes and all that if this actually ends up getting read. Thank you, and enjoy!

It had been a few days since Klaus had left town, telling his girlfriend that he has some business to deal with, which concerns his family only. He had said the words “my family” to her, like she hasn’t been with him for years now. He had made her feel like she didn’t belong with them.

They met a really long time ago, while the girl, had still been a witch. But meeting Klaus and falling for him, she eventually decided that she wants to spend eternity with him. So she abandoned her magic and became a vampire, so she could be with her only true love.

It had been years, since she turned. She learned what it is to be a vampire first hand, she learned control. Even if it had taken her a while to come to terms with the fact that she has no magic anymore, having Klaus by her side, had helped her a lot through it all.

But now, Klaus had changed. She loved him more than anything life could offer her, but could she say the same about his feelings for her?

For the past few months, she noticed a change in him and the way he acts around her. He had gotten more distant and more cold towards her. She didn’t know why. Was it her fault? Was it something she had said or did, to upset or hurt him in a way? She had been trying so hard to find out, to fix things between them, but her effort was pointless.

Now? After months of trying, she had finally given up on trying to find out why Klaus had been pushing her away. She was usually a bright and bubbly person, who could make you smile in an instant, without even putting much effort into it. She had stopped doing the things she loved, she had stopped seeing and talking to most of her friends. All because she couldn’t figure out what was so wrong, that made Klaus hate her so much.

She was tired of trying. Thinking that he had fallen out of love with her, she started keeping her distance from him as well.

It was late at night. Laying in her bed, their bed, which now was barely shared between the couple, she was yet again thinking about him. Sure, they never officially ended things, but it felt like they did in a way.

She had been laying there for hours, crying as silently as possible. Not that anyone would hear her. She was all alone in the house.

Standing up, she walked over to where Klaus’ drawers were, and slowly took out one of his shirts. She slowly put it over her own and smiled sadly, smelling his light scent coming off the fabric of the shirt. She missed him so much, yet she felt like she had no right to.

She walked out of their room, and instead went to try and sleep in another one of the rooms on the floor. As she walked into the room, flipping the switch to turn on the lights before making her way over to the bed in the corner of the small room.

She sat down and did her best to wipe the already dried tears off of her face. She was exhausted of crying all the time.

Taking out her phone from the pocket of her jeans, she turned it on and looked for Klaus’ number. She took a deep breath before pressing the button and dialing it, already feeling regret after the first two seconds.

Answering the call, Klaus spoke from the other side of the phone “Hey, is something wrong?”.

She took a few seconds to think before speaking up “No I- why would you assume that?”

“Because what else would you- call for?”

“Oh.., right, I guess you have a point. I mean why would I want to call my so called boyfriend right? It’s not that I miss you or anything.”

She instantly felt regret after saying those words out loud, and before Klaus had the chance to say anything back, she apologized and hung up the phone on him.

She then turned it off and laid down on the bed, deciding to just try and sleep it off.

Klaus was worried about her. After their call last night, he had immediately decided to go back home and talk to her in person about what was wrong. He knew he has been distant and pushing her away the last few months, but he had only been doing it, so he could keep her out of the problems that had been rising every other day. He thought that she was already involved enough and that he didn’t want her to get caught in the middle of it more than she already had.

Truth be told, he was scared to lose her. And only after hearing how sad she sounded over the phone, he had realized that by pushing her away, he was slowly losing her still.

So there he was. Getting out of his car that he had just parked in front of his house, early in the morning. He walked inside and quickly walked up the stairs to their shared room.

Opening the door and seeing the bed empty, his heart dropped to his stomach. Had she left him? The hybrid took a deep breath and tried focusing on hearing her heartbeat incase she was still there.

He heard her, not far from where he was and relief instantly washed over him. He walked back out of the room and followed the sound of her heartbeat.

Opening the door of the room she was in and seeing her asleep on the bed, he let a tiny smile dance on his lips for a few seconds only.

The hybrid walked over to the bed and slowly sat down next to her, gently taking her hand in his and tracing his thumb over the knuckles on the girl’s hand.

Klaus was happy that she was still here.

Feeling the movement of the bed, she slowly started to wake. Humming a little, she looked up and saw him looking down at her. The girl freaked out a little, since she didn’t expect him to be next to her.

“Niklaus? You’re here?”

Slowly sitting up, she pulled her hand away from his and looked down.

“I am. You got me worried last night with that call, love.”

Chuckling a little, she rubbed her finger over her hand.

“You haven’t called me that in so long, I actually had forgotten how it sounds when you say it to me.”

“I know that-”

The girl looked at him again and shook her head.

“No, Klaus, you don’t know anything. It’s been months! Months since you told me that you loved me, months since you’ve stopped talking to me. I tried so hard, to fix it, to- to find out what was it that I had done wrong, but you never let me fix it.”

Klaus clenched his jaw. He was angry at himself for what he had done.

“Love, I was only trying to keep you safe. It took me way longer than it should have, to realize that by pushing you away, I was still going to lose you.”

She stared at him in disbelief. She wanted to cry, but she had nothing to give.

“Are you being serious? You’re a million years old, and yet you are that stupid to think that the solution to all your problems, is to fucking push me away?”

The hybrid looked at her sadly. He understood why she was angry and upset with him. And he knew that he’d do anything to fix it. He loved her too much.

“I was scared, I- please tell me how to fix this, I will do anything you need me to do, just please, love.”

Klaus gently took her hands into his and held them tightly, too afraid to let go.

“Do you even- love me… still? Are you still in love with me, like you were before?”

“Yes. Yes, I am. I love you more than anything, sweetheart, you know that I do.”

The girl looked down, staring at their hands. Hearing his say that he still loves her, made her feel such relief, but yet she was still so hurt.

“Then why wouldn’t you just talk to me Nik? If you had told me how you felt, I would’ve helped you, I would’ve done whatever it is that you needed me to do. But instead you pushed me away and you hurt me- you hurt me so damn much.”

Klaus’ heart broke for her. He never wanted to hurt his girl, he just wanted to keep her safe.

“I’ll fix it, okay? I’ll make it right. I’ll spend the rest of my miserable life, making it up to you, for hurting you like this. I never wanted to. God, I am so, so sorry, sweetheart.”

Tearing up himself, he gently wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest and stroking her hair softly.

The feeling of his warmth, finally so close to her again, she just broke down into his arms. She had missed him so much.

“Shh, love. I’m here now. I’m here and I am never leaving you again.”

With trembling hands, she held onto his shirt, clutching it so hard she thought it would tear.

“I love you. I love you so much, Nik. Please never do this to me again, I beg you. I can’t- I can’t live without you.”

Klaus slowly laid down, pulling her with him without letting go. He held her tightly and close, still stroking her hair and rubbing her back softly, trying to comfort her and help her calm down a little.

“I swear, I will not. You are my everything, love, my whole world, my sun.”

They laid there for what felt like hours. She cried until she just couldn’t anymore, and Klaus held her the whole time, helping her calm down.

He deeply regretted everything he had done and said to her those past few months, but he would do all that he could to make his girl happy again.

#klaus mikaelson #tvd klaus #tvd #the originals #klaus mikaelson fanfiction #klaus mikaelson fluff #female characters #short story #love #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus mikaleson imagine #klaus mikaelson x oc #klaus mikaelson x y/n #niklaus mikaelson #niklaus mikaelson x reader

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muzaktomyears · 7 months

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The man who was there the day the Beatles broke up

Mal Evans was the Fab Four’s roadie, fixer and friend. Paul McCartney confided in him when the band split, while John Lennon relied on him to guard his life. A new book tells his story

The Beatles’ lingering tensions finally caught up to them during a meeting among John, Paul and George at 3 Savile Row on September 10 1969. As Mal and Neil [Aspinall, who ran the Beatles’ company Apple Corps] observed, John took particular issue with what he perceived as Paul’s megalomania, saying that, “If you look back on the Beatles albums, good or bad or whatever you think of ’em, you’ll find that most times if anybody has got extra time it’s you! For no other reason than you worked it like that.” For Mal, the conversation must have been pure agony. He idolised Paul, who bore the brunt of the meeting’s vitriol.

In his own defence, Paul protested that he had “tried to allow space on albums for John’s songs, only to find that John hadn’t written any”.

With the idea of recording a new album seemingly off the table, John suggested that they produce a Christmas single instead. After all, he reasoned, their annual holiday fan club record would be due before long. When this idea was met with silence and indifference, John soberly concluded, “I guess that’s the end of the Beatles.”

As horrible as the experience must have been for Mal, panic hadn’t set in just yet. During the past 15 months, Ringo and George had quit the band at various times, only to be coaxed back. But ten days later it all spilled out again at a meeting at Apple. Mal and Allen Klein (their manager after the death of Brian Epstein) were there, along with Yoko, Neil and the boys. For his part, George was on speakerphone from Cheshire, where he was visiting his ailing mother. The topic at hand was a new agreement with Capitol, which Klein was understandably eager to ink.

As Mal observed, Paul began to enumerate the group’s upcoming opportunities, including a series of intimate gigs and a possible television special. In each instance, John said, “No, no, no,” before telling Paul, “Well, I think you’re daft.” Eventually, he blurted out that he wanted a “divorce”. “What do you mean?” a stunned Paul asked. “The group’s over,” John replied. “I’m leaving.”

At this point, Paul recalled, “Everyone blanched except John, who coloured a little, and said, ‘It’s rather exciting. It’s like I remember telling Cynthia I wanted a divorce.’ ”

Afterwards, Mal and Paul returned to McCartney’s home, where they retreated to the garden, still trying to process what had transpired. Paul remained hopeful that John might change his mind, that the Beatles would continue unabated. But Mal knew better. As with George, Mal had reasoned that “all of them had left the group at one time or another, starting with Ringo’’. But when “John came into the office and said, ‘The marriage is over! I want a divorce,’ that was the final thing. That’s what really got to Paul, you know, because I took Paul home and I ended up in the garden crying my eyes out.”

That night with Lennon and Phil Spector in 1973, when happiness was not a warm gun

Mal took great pleasure in spending long hours in John’s company, enjoying the Beatle’s undivided attention, as opposed to sharing him with Paul, George and Ringo. “It was fascinating,” said Mal, who by this point was living in LA and writing his own songs, “because John was talking to me like I was a songwriter, and that was incredible. For the first time, John and I really communicated, whereas, when it was the four of them, John was always the hardest to talk to. I always thought that when John stopped insulting me, we had fallen out as friends.” But, he added, referring to John’s teasing, “The more he likes you, the more he takes the mickey out of you.”

Yet, as Mal soon discovered, working with John during this period would prove to be a chore — incomparable, in fact, to their touring years together, when the Beatles were often confined to the relative safety of a hotel suite. When he was in LA, John could often be found at the Sunset Strip’s Rainbow Bar and Grill, which had emerged as his de facto headquarters [during a period of heavy drinking which Lennon ironically referred to as the Lost Weekend but actually lasted 18 months.] With musicians like John, Harry (Nilsson), Ringo, Keith Moon, Alice Cooper and Micky Dolenz adopting the Rainbow as their regular watering hole, they had taken to calling themselves the Hollywood Vampires, a nickname that evoked the night hours they spent guzzling hooch in the bar’s loft space.

On one of his most harrowing evenings in Los Angeles, Mal had accompanied John and Phil Spector to the Rainbow. At one point, John walked Phil to his car, assuring Mal that he would return shortly. “About a half hour goes by, and I start worrying and go outside looking for John — no sign,” Mal later wrote. “I’d lost track of a Beatle for a day. What had happened, I found out the following evening, was that when he’d seen Phil off, a few hippie fans of his took him in tow, and John, who had just moved into a flat, couldn’t remember the address, nor his or my phone numbers. [John] eventually turn[ed] up, but not before I’d had a few irate words from Yoko, who phoned me from New York shouting, ‘I thought you were John’s bodyguard — why don’t you guard his body?’ ”

At a loss for words, Mal admitted that “I never really thought of myself as a bodyguard to anybody, but I suppose over the years that had been part of the gig. Anyway, they were all grown up, with very strong minds of their own as to what they wanted to do, and I certainly didn’t expect them to hold themselves accountable to me.”

That December, as work on Back to Mono proceeded, John and Phil shifted their project to the Record Plant West. The change of recording studios had everything to do with John’s and Phil’s antics having gotten them evicted from their previous studio, A&M. At one point, Nilsson and Moon, in a drunken stupor, had urinated onto the recording console, leaving the electronics in an ungodly mess.

Things began innocently enough after John and Phil completed their December 11 session at the Record Plant West, where they took a pass at Chuck Berry’s You Can’t Catch Me. As Mal looked on, the two men, drunk to the gills, were horsing around the Las Vegas Room. In a nod to the early days of Beatlemania when the Beatles would climb on Mal when they heard they were at the top of the charts, John decided to hop onto Mal’s back for a piggyback ride. Unfortunately, Phil opted to get in on the act, too. Mal’s physical dexterity in late 1973 was a far cry from that of the early 1960s, and he had difficulty sustaining the weight of two men atop his aching back. As always, Mal observed, “Phil goes a little too far,” and in the ensuing ruckus, “he karate-chopped me on the nose, my spectacles went flying, and I got tears in my eyes I can tell you. I turned around with a real temper and told Phil, ‘Don’t ever lay another finger on me, man.’ ”

And that’s when Phil, “maybe to re-establish himself in his own eyes”, Mal thought, pulled out a handgun. To the roadie’s surprise, the producer “fired it off under our noses, deafening us both, the bullet ricocheting around the room and landing between my feet”.

John was understandably incensed, exclaiming to Phil, “If you’re gonna kill me, kill me, but don’t take away my hearing — it’s me living!”

Until that moment, Mal and John had believed that Spector’s handgun was a toy. At one point earlier in the evening, Phil had cocked the trigger and aimed the weapon at John’s head. As a result of the incident in the Las Vegas Room, “John’s fear of guns generally was doubled.” For his part, Mal vowed to stay clear of Phil. He would attend the recording sessions in deference to John, but that was it.

In nearly the same instant that Mal decided to banish Phil from his world forever, he and John were hustled off to [co-founder of the Record Plant] Gary Kellgren’s house for a lavish going-away party in honour of Mal, who was preparing to make his return to Sunbury. For the occasion, Phil had arranged for Mal to receive “a beautiful large cake, which must have measured four feet by three feet, so nicely decorated with a large bottle of Napoleon brandy, [and] a lot of comic figures like Superman and Batman,” Mal wrote. The sumptuous dessert was inscribed, “To Mal, my pal, love, Philip.”

As it turned out, the madcap producer’s greatest gift to Mal that night came in the form of his absence. “Phil, to show the most understanding side of his nature, did not come to the party,” said Mal. “He knew if he had, he’d be outrageous and spoil it for me. But he set it up and didn’t come — a true mark of affection from a friend.”

The party came to a sudden close, though, when John, having grown blind drunk, planted a telephone into the sticky remains of the cake.

Meet the Beatles: four days in Mal’s life with the moptops

Paul (1962) In July 1962, Mal and his family attended the celebration of the “Wavertree Mystery”, an annual event held to commemorate the anonymous donation of a local playground back in 1895. Mal later recalled that, “Lil and I were proudly pushing Gary in his pram when she turned to me and said, ‘There’s a weird guy over there — keeps staring at us. Now he looks like a real Cavernite to me.’ On turning, I was to see Paul standing there, unshaven, with a denim jacket thrown over his shoulder and chewing on a toffee apple.” After engaging in the niceties of introducing his wife to the scruffy musician, Mal took Paul for a jaunt. “We spent the rest of the day together,” Mal wrote, “Paul and I daring each other to go on things like the parachute drop and other displays that took nerve, neither of us accepting the challenge.” At one point, they stopped in front of an automobile exhibition. Paul announced to Mal that “one of these days I’m going to own one of those cars’’, pointing to one very humble saloon-type car.

George (1962) After shows at the Cavern, Mal would introduce his wife Lily to the rest of the band. “On one occasion,” Mal recalled, “Lil and I bought the fish and chips for the group and ourselves, as they could only muster enough money between them to pay for the teas.” Although she had her misgivings about Mal’s involvement in their lives, she enjoyed getting to know the bandmates. “After gigs,” she later recalled, “George would come back to our house for bacon and eggs. He sometimes came back before Mal to keep me company. I’d be washing baby clothes and nappies or ironing. I liked him the best.” Lily fondly remembered the time she pushed the bangs from Harrison’s face, saying, “Let’s see what it looks like with your hair back. I like that better.” But George wasn’t having it. He combed his hair forward, telling her, “That’s the way I have to wear it; it’s the Beatle cut.”

Ringo (1965) Driving up the M1, Mal and Ringo stopped at a roadside café for lunch. “We were sitting at the counter,” Mal recalled, “and the chap next to me had obviously been trying to make up his mind whether it really was Ringo with me. Suddenly, he turned to me and said, ‘I don’t care if it is him or not.’ Ringo nearly choked with laughter as I teased the fellow, saying, ‘No, it’s not him. But it gets terribly embarrassing taking him anywhere because everybody mistakes him for Ringo!’”

John (1964) John held no illusions about the Beatles’ behaviour, later admitting that, “We were bastards. You can’t be anything else in such a pressurised situation, and we took it out on Neil and Mal. They took a lot of shit from us because we were in such a shitty position. It was hard work and somebody had to take it. Those things are left out, about what bastards we were. F***ing big bastards, that’s what the Beatles were. You have to be a bastard to make it, and that’s a fact. And the Beatles were the biggest bastards on earth. We were the Caesars. Who’s going to knock us when there’s a million pounds to be made, all the handouts, the bribery, the police, and the hype?”

During a flight to Massachusetts for the September 12 show at the Boston Garden, Mal’s long-standing feelings of intimidation around John came to a head. Sitting at the rear of the plane, he broke down in tears, telling a reporter that “John got kind of cross with me — just said I should go f*** off. No reason, ya know. But I love the man. John is a powerful force. Sometimes he’s rough, if you know what I mean, man. But there’s no greater person that I know.” In many ways, it was as if Mal’s lack of self-confidence, a key aspect of his persona for the balance of his life, had returned with a vengeance. Later John approached Mal and embraced him.

Extracted from Living the Beatles Legend by Kenneth Womack (Mudlark £25), published on November 14.

(source)

#another article in today's times!#mal evans #kenneth womack #the beatles #john lennon #phil spector #paul mccartney #george harrison #ringo starr

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