#yknow. considering how long jack’s life is

[neim-batteries-not-included]

random thought i had whilst working on my magic system

this may or may not make sense considering ive said jack shit about my magic system so far but anyway so i didn't want magic to be relied upon heavily for things like medicine- it's used in every day life, but major injuries likely would be treated without it in hospitals (etc etc) and after some thinking about what would work with how this bitch functions i figured that memories would be one of the best options for a cost- and without going on a rant, because thats nOt the point of this hahah, in cases of life saving care being needed nurses performing healing magic run the risk of losing the memory of their education and again without going into details because ill do that later, yknow education is really important to some folks im explaining this poorly but essentially that risk isnt worth it when you're trying to heal a whole bunch of people- its much more likely that you'd just resort to other methods and also this means that things like life saving healing, and other powerful forms of magic, become a massive gesture of love (platonic or romantic) which is pretty cool from a story telling perspective but the point ive taken way too long to make here is if you don't want your magic system to be able to be a sorta "get out of jail free card" (which can actually be interesting in some places because personally i love seeing what people do with that kind of power) have the cost cause the most powerful forms of magic to be a last ditch resort- only to be used in the most dire situations. this is probably common knowledge/really obvious and this post is pARTIALLY TO REMIND MYSELF but yeah have a rant

[madmaddyenby]

/rp /dsmp

ok so- c!tommy. we are all aware he’s traumatized, and experiences ptsd from being in traumatic experiences, this is basically fact.  while i’d like to talk how c!tommy experiences ptsd, i’d like to bring up a thing i haven’t seen mentioned a lot when it comes to c!tommy and his trauma- c-ptsd.  also known as complex-ptsd.   it occurs when someone experiences something traumatizing for a period of time.

[image description: A screenshot of text with the words “CPTSD stands for Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is a mental health condition in which a person might experience intense PTSD symptoms that coincide with other mental issues. CPTSD occurs in people who have been subjected to on going traumatizing experiences”. end description]

which, as we know, the exile arc fits the description of “ongoing traumatizing experiences” pretty fucking well.  the exile was basically just two weeks of trauma.  for a lot of reasons too, there was dream abusing tommy, tommy being isolated, tommys own depression/suicidal thoughts/bad mindset in general.   this would all be considered a ongoing traumatizing experience(s).  

ptsd is very similar to c-ptsd in how it develops, but ptsd occurs after one singular traumatizing event . (by the way, the event doesnt have to be life or death, it could be something like witnessing or hearing about a shocking event!!!)

symptoms of c-ptsd overlap with ptsd a good lot of the time, due to them both being trauma disorders.  however, there are a few differences.  here r some symptoms of c-ptsd, alot of which are ptsd symptoms that alot ofpeople with c-ptsd experience as well

reliving the traumatic experience

avoiding certain situations 

changes in beliefs and feelings about yourself and others

hyperarousal (jitteriness, being on alert, etc)

somatic symptoms (physical symptoms with no underlying cause)

lack of emotional regulation 

change in consciousness

negative self-perception

difficulty with relationships

distorted reception of abuser

loss of system of meanings

now, i’ll go over which of these fit our boy c!tommy, and how they fit for some of them atleast.  i will only be talking about the things that are a result from c-ptsd, but also c-ptsd works where it coincides with other mental illnesses a person has so.  its also important to note that within a person these symptoms might not stay the same over time, and not everyone who has c-ptsd or ptsd is going to experience it the same.   (so not talking abt how pain affects him after dying in the prison, though that is a clear sign of ptsd) 

reliving the traumatic experience

tommy’s done this with exile a few times, when revisiting logstedshire, when he saw the craters in logstedshire, when visiting dream in prison, when during the disc finale dream dug the hole and told him to put his armour in, etc etc, he’s even described himself as being trembly in the fingers near plain biomes, while visting logsted he mentioned how shaky it made him to be there, and when he visited logsted one time he had an immediate reaction to seeing a hole in the ground that came off as him reliving it. flashbacks come in from sensations during a traumatic event, like sight, feeling, emotion, etc, etc.  it seems like with these he’s experiencing more of a reliving the emotions kind of thing. 

avoiding certain situations 

i was originally not gonna include this one, but thinking about it, he kind of does in a way.   this symptom also includes keeping yourself preoccupied to avoid thinking about it, which is something c!tommy seems to do alot.  with focusing on building the hotel, and doing tasks, or grinding for supplies instead of actually thinking about it.  

changes in beliefs and feelings about yourself and others

c!tommy uh. does this a lot.  a lot of it stems from how during exile tommy was isolated and made to believe no one cared for him, and even if that wasn’t true c!tommy never really got much closure on that.  hes not really trusting ppl that b4 were really close to him, tubbo n ranboo for example

lack of emotional regulation

this can also be described as uncontrollable feelings.  this is the one i’ve wanted to talk about the most i think- because this is really fits c!tommy.  he tends to lash out alot, for example burning the flower c!ranboo gave him, there are a bunch more examples of this that include him yelling at others, that one time when he spleefed c!jack 

negative self-perception

yeah.  theres a few examples of this one, the one that first comes to mind is that time during the green festival where he was talking about how he was worse than everyone he didn’t wanna be (including his abuser, c!dream...) .  theres now when he was building his tower by the prison when he was saying he couldn’t use the cobble because it was too him, and people didnt like the cobble. alot of this i think comes from c!dream making him feel basically worthless in exile :(

difficulty with relationships

  Yeah. um.  Alot for this one!!! The first to come to mind is c!tubbo.  c!tommy and c!tubbos relationship is very very wonky, especially considering recent events with tommy feeling like he is being replaced with c!ranboo.  (which he isnt by the way! he just feels as though, which is a valid feeling for him to have :]) .  another person that comes to mind is c!ranboo.  he’s even mentioned how his and ranboos relationship goes back and forth quite alot.  its not very surprising to see that he has difficulty with relationships especially considering a lot of the reason that the exile affected him so badly was because he felt so alone and was so isolated from his friends.  another thing that comes to mind, is when he made c!sam sign that contract promising hat he’d be his best friend and protect him.  theres most likely way more that can be said here, but this is the first stuff that comes to mind.  

distorted reception of abuser

um... yeah.  this one.  this can also be described as , “ becoming preoccupied with the relationship between you and your abuser. It can also include preoccupation with revenge or giving your abuser complete power over your life. “  which is um.  yeah.  c!tommy.  he’s mentioned how whenever he’s around c!dream he feels like hes conditioned to be his friend (which. yea . he was .).  right after he left logstedshire this was very very prominent, he was the biggest c!dream apologist around (/j), saying things like “dream didnt do anything wrong” and even explaining how he wasnt sure about things when it comes to c!dream, that his mind became flip floppy whenever he thought about him.   right now, hes focused on getting back at c!dream, not fully for revenge, mainly for his friends and how he doesnt want c!dream to go around killing and reviving everyone, but the point still stands.  (this all makes me extra sad because he had gone to the prison the second time in the first place to get closure :(( )

loss of system of meanings

Systems of meaning refer to your religion or beliefs about the world.  This can also refer to getting a strong sense of hopelessness or despair about the world, which as of late mainly c!tommy seems to have.  mainly referencing in his stream where he visited dreams bunker, he was asking what the point was of finding things that made him happy if dream was just going to get out the prison and destroy it.  theres also a few things that also go with this, in one stream while he burnt down ponks lemon tree for sam nook he said  "thats still decaying, but yknow, arent we all." and that one time when he gave that hotel invitation to c!techno he was like “ahahha we could die tomorrow anyway” 

-

its also important to note that, “Any type of long-term trauma, over several months or years, can lead to CPTSD. However, it seems to appear frequently in people who’ve been abused by someone who was supposed to be their caregiver or protector. “ Which is.. fairly accurate in c!tommy’s situation.  c!dream might’ve not been a caregiver or protector necessarily but he was still someone that was looking after him yknow? 

there are most likely more things than what i layed out that show that c!tommy most likely also has cptsd, however this is just the stuff that i thought up :] add to the post if you’d like to!

(also this isn’t saying that c!tommy doesnt have ptsd, he had both ptsd and c-ptsd. also i am not an expert about ptsd, cptsd, or mental health in general, if i got any information wrong let me know)

[prismartist]

(warning: i wrote this past midnight, so if i seem deranged at parts, that’s why)

okay, so after eret’s recent lore stream, i think it may be safe to say that there’s possibly something weird going on with members and not having any memory of their past. we’ve seen it in three people so far, and most of the other inhabitants never mention their backgrounds aside from their time in the server. what’s weirder is that there are exceptions to this case, with people like phil (tentatively) or schlatt using their past SMPs as background, even though other people who were in those same servers, like wilbur or eret, make no mention of them at all.

from a meta standpoint, there’s a simple explanation: those who had significant roles in those smps are more likely to reference them, especially if the fandom keeps reminding them of it. everyone is at least a little familiar with the Antarctic Empire, or Schlatt & Co. but not as many people know of the time when eret dug out the entirety of hawaii in smpearth, so he doesnt bring it up as much, or at least, not in character. it’s also probably because people pick and choose which aspects of their former servers to induct into their character’s past, which is confusing, but yknow.

there’s also the fact that backstories not directly linked to the smp became more popular with the arrival of ranboo, who constantly hinted at his ~mysterious past~ (and the possibility that it’s the cause of his memory loss), and some people taking that, but simply without the amnesia. foolish, for one, seems to have a pretty good grasp on his past, and didn’t see a reason to have his character forget it. 

from a worldbuilding standpoint, though? when considering the fact that everyone’s individual character lore, no matter how separate they are from the current plots, will probably be all connected at one point or another like dream promised? i feel like we have to look at some possibilities as to what this could all mean.

(keep in mind the following probabilities could overlap with each other.)

tis farfetched theory time :]

so, what are the possible causes for the unnatural amounts of amnesia in the dream smp?

1. the dream smp is something akin to a night vale-esque region, one protected by a god albeit through extreme means, wherein there’s (almost) no way in, unless accepted by a mysterious force, and (almost) no way out.

isn’t it weird how members can travel as far as possible and yet encounter no civilization aside from some villagers? yet tales has confirmed that such regions definitely exist and even operate in more real-world rules, like only having one life instead of the usual three? 

don’t you ever wonder if the dream smp perhaps operates on a different... level, than the rest of the world? mod-less, the end being barred, no farms allowed?

do you think the inhabitants of the smp never mention/don’t remember their past because they’ve been totally cut off from it?

the dream smp could be a creation in a similar vein to night vale; a specific section of the world completely separated and hidden from it, as well as oblivious to the fact that it's hiding from anything. 

the reasoning for this could be to serve as a sort of protection. if you look at it a certain way the server does seem sort of baby-proof compared to other servers. three lives instead of one, no access to the end, no automated farms. why does it need to be protected? maybe it's a safe space for dreamxd to keep people theyre fond of. maybe it's a social experiment. maybe a tragedy has befallen it before that forced it to be so. nonetheless, that part remains a bit more vague. 

of course, there are exceptions to the "no one can get out" bit; karl is basically given permission to travel a bit more beyond the boundaries, glatt is a ghost and ghosts have been shown to have a bit more free will than live people, and connor potentially has necromancer/fellow time traveler/main character privileges. basically he's just connor. 

now i know this completely ignores the characters who i just mentioned have pasts, but there are ways to go about this: a) theyre simply Built Different (aka these people are mentally stable or powerful enough to remember their past), and/or b) past smps could have inhabited the land before it dissolved and dream took over (risky, but not impossible). 

My brain did come up with c) people can retain memories from alternate dimensions, not if theyre from the same world as the smp itself, but it does seem the least likely if you want the narrative to make sense, as this wouldn't explain how foolish, who is implied to have been on the server long before the dsmp was established (as judging from jack the potato farmer’s journal) still remembers his past, and why wilbur doesn’t remember smplive. but he does seem to be the only one with this problem, as everyone else that i know of who was on smplive seem to have some familiarity with each other. which leads me to the next possibility. 

2. the amnesia picks and chooses. 

this post by @noobsomeexagerjunk brings up this point; if there is someone behind the amnesia, they simply pick and choose whose past to wipe. beatrix’s post suggests it’s mostly people who do potentially stand as some sort of threat against dream, as they all oppose him and can overpower him provided they have resources and are in the right state of mind, which they seemingly are not as of late. that suggests dream does have some form of power over the server, or maybe works with dreamxd to make it happen. 

but if not that, then what? perhaps these people are more likely to figure out how to break the server rules? maybe they have abilities that could easily overpower dreamxd themself? if that is the case, maybe we can consider karl as well; there are theories that dreamxd is possibly connected to the inbetween and could be behind karl’s amnesia as well as the others, perhaps as a way to limit his abilities. but again, foolish would be an exception, as he is incredibly powerful. but then again again, foolish is incredibly powerful, so he could have avoided this fate. 

3. it’s all purely coincidental.

out of the five amnesiacs on the server, two of them have causes that we are aware of; ghostbur because he’s repressed, and karl because of time travel/whichever one of the two alternate dimensions he’s visited that are fucking with him. ranboo’s reason is hinted to be because of something that happened to him. so i don’t think it’s unlikely that puffy and eret’s memory losses don’t necessarily have anything to do with the nature of the server. maybe puffy hit her head on a rock and washed ashore far from her ship, and eret’s a reincarnation, similar to link from legend of zelda, except he can’t remember anything about his past life/lives (there’s also several theories explaining this). this is… the most probable one, as it would be a clean explanation with no inconsistencies. so. 

tl;dr either the dream smp wipes the memory of most people in the server when they enter, it picks and chooses based on who is a potential threat, or the amount of amnesiacs is purely coincidental. 

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hello im here for a cake ^^, my name is angel and I'm a she/her, I'm 5'9 and slim i have brown hair till my shoulders and bluish greenish eye's with black glasses, i have pale complexion and I'm a leo, i usually am pretty shy irl and don't tend to go out a lot with people with my close friends I'm pretty loud and very open but only with them, I'm a little sarcastic sometimes and i like to game a lot, i love horror movies and cheesecake it's my favorite, i dislike thunderstorms and veggies ^^' my preference are tsukki, kageyama,oikawa and Kenma

@hinatashoyolittlecrow

Romantic Matchup

Kenma Kozume

How Y’all Met

Mkay

Y’all were probably just childhood friends

Yknow considering you’re both on the shyer side

So I imagine your parents knew eachother

So you guys kinda HAD to be friends

That didn’t mean you didn’t like each other tho

You guys actually really enjoyed each other’s company :)

Most of your childhood was spent playing games with him, watching movies with him, and having the occasional sleepover every now and then

Then

We started experiencing that classic friends to lover’s trope 👀

It was a ordinary day...

You had stopped by the gym to say hey to kenma

Kenmas just doing his thing...

Then he looks over to Kuroo putting moves on you

He doesn’t know why but this makes his blood boil

But he just brushed it off as being a bit overprotective when it comes to you

But Kuroo kept flirting with you

And every passing secon kenma grew more irritated

Why were you laughing???

Did you like him???

What did Kuroo have that he doesn’t???

...

Wait a damn minute

Wtf was with that last thought

He didn’t LIKE you

Right???

But then why was he so jealous

These kinda thought just kept coming and going through the poor mans head

And you must’ve noticed kenma short circuiting

Cause you politely exused yourself from Kuroo to go check on him

“Hey Ken? You good?”

“Y/n I think I like you”

😳

What

Did you hear that right???

You both decided to have a proper conversation about this when practice was done

Which gave you time to figure out how you felt about this whole situation

It would be a lie to say you didn’t have a teeny weeny crush on your best friend

But would this ruin your guy’s great friendship???

That’s the last thing you wanted...

Practice had ended and you decided to take this conversation to your house

Once you arrived you both agreed to date as long as it didn’t affect your close friendship

Whether you decided to stay together or not

But surely enough

You guys ended up staying together

For a really long time actually 😗

What They Love About You

He loves how naturally things come with you

Since you both had been friends with each other for a long time

There was very little room for surprises or new things

You both knew each other like the back of your hands

So you guys never experienced those awkward new couple moments

And he’s SUPER glad about that

Mans is a awkward bean ok

He loves that you are also shy

Because that way he doesn’t have to put himself out there

And he doesn’t have to worry about holding you back either

It’s a win win

Honestly he’s kinda into the fact that your taller than him 👀

Idek why

He just looks like the kinda guy who would go after taller guys/gals 🤷‍♀️

Favorite Things To Do Together

Gaming is one of them

Duh

Like that’s a given

But he actually has two more favorite activity’s look

#1. He likes to go to the local bakery and eat with you

He gets the apple pie, while you settle for the cheesecake

And during the fall he likes to order their apple fritter cheesecake 😋

Ok but apple pie sounds bomb rn

#2 when there’s a thunder storm he likes to just come over and hang out

He knows you don’t like the thunder

So if there’s a storm

He’s over at your house ASAP to keep you company

These days are usually filled with you both wrapped in blankets watching movies 😗

Random Hc

Kenma told Kuroo off for flirting with you

Kenma also doesn’t like his veggies 🤢

Canon Fact: His favorite food is apple pie

He actually doesn’t really like cheesecake

ONLY the apple fritter cheesecake

Picky betch

Your mom overheard y’all’s little confession conversation and told Kenmas mom right away...

Apparently they made a bet on it...

Astrology

Leo + Libra

When Leo and Libra join together in a love match, theirs is an agreeable union.

Being situated two signs apart in the Zodiac, Leo and Libra experience a deep understanding of the inner-workings of the other.

When the Lion’s unbounded energy mixes with Libra’s natural sense of harmony, this is a romance of great balance.

Leo and Libra are both outlandish versus reserved, direct versus peace loving.

They can enjoy a very smooth relationship because each can appreciate and benefit from the positive attributes of the other.

Libra calms and soothes Leo’s flamboyance.

As a couple, Leo and Libra are well balanced.

Libra lays on the charm and good manners, which tame Leo’s direct and acerbic personality.

But Leo is far more decisive than Libra.

Leo can help their partners to make decisions more easily and act on them, and they can teach the art of spontaneity.

Leo is ruled by The Sun and Libra is ruled by the Planet Venus.

The two Signs coming together form the basic foundation of relationships — warmth and passion.

The Sun and Venus go well together.

The sun is a masculine energy and Venus a feminine, so this relationship strikes a balance between energies.

Venus is about the beauty of romance, and The Sun is about invigorating life spreading warmth.

This couple sustain one another for a long time.

Overall Aesthetic

Indie 🍄

Songs

Are you bored yet?- Wallows

Pretty girl- Clairo

Buttercup- Jack Stauber

Stargazing- The Neighborhood

[we-are-inevitable]

new javid au?? you bet!!

hi ok so i thought of an au. basically a stereotypical hallmark movie but make it javid. this au featuures: jack “i was raised on a farm and practice saying important conversations to my cows” kelly and david “i went to college in a big city because i’m built different” jacobs

i might eventually write this out into a fic !! soooo,,

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION:

the jacobs family lives in a small town in a southwestern state.

david jacobs is, of course, a bit of an outsider in the town. he's not interested in farming or country things, he's more into the Big Outside World and wants to study something that isn't very "traditional" for his area (i'm thinking comparative literature or journalism (with a minor in queer studies that he Does Not Talk About because Hello, Small Town!)

anyways he has a devoted friendgroup that he spends a lot of time with:

sarah (david's twin sister, who isn't afraid to get into trouble and has never been very 'ladylike'; plays softball and runs track with tony)

jack (latino farm boy with a heart of gold, a shitty father and a hidden artistic talent; basically the glue that holds the group together)

katherine (a girl who constantly feels trapped in a close-minded small town and wants to get out; also into journalism)

tony (who they call racetrack because he's an all-state cross country runner; biggest dumbass but can solve any math problem ever)

sean (he's basically a god on the football field; extremely intelligent, can play at least 6 instruments; called 'spot' bc Freckles)

charlie (Literally The Best Human Ever; student council president, National Honor Society president, also in drama)

and albert (probably a stoner but he's chill and legitimately the funniest person; troublemaker but also a literal golden retriever)

there's more of them that float between friend groups, but, of course, Davey, Sarah, Jack, Katherine, Tony, Sean, Charlie, and Albert are the "core" friends.

but. surprise: davey is the only one who goes out of state for college.

the rest split up, but stay in state. Jack goes to a trade school (he takes welding courses at the local vo-tech), Tony and Sean end up going to a community college together about 30 minutes away from home, albert goes straight into the workforce under a relative's wing, and charlie, kath, and sarah all go to a big university about 3 hours away from home.

but not davey. no, davey goes to a school in new york, just because he needs to get away from everything.

because davey goes to school on the other side of the country, he rarely gets the chance to come home. this, of course, means that he slowly drifts away from all of his high school friends- aside from sarah, obviously, because he still sees family a lot, but he doesn't talk to anyone else that often... especially jack.

now, jack and david were never a "thing," but there was always some underlying tension. longing stares, late night talks on the roof of jack's barn, hangouts at the diner in town. they were inseperable, pretty much. by far the closest friends out of the group... until jack and katherine started dating. and, yeah, david is happy for them. he's so happy for them- he jumps up and down and screams and shouts when kath and jack show up to school one day holding hands- because jack and katherine have been his closest friends for YEARS. they’re their own little subgroup- Jack, Kath, and Davey- and they go pretty much everywhere together. sometimes sarah tags along too, so david isn't third wheeling, but most of the time it's just the three of them.

but it hurts so much, because david likes jack. but jack is apparently straight. so david goes away. goes to a school across the country instead of, yknow, facing his feelings.

FAST FORWARD TO ABOUT TEN YEARS LATER!!!

david is a successful 28 year old. after graduating from college (where he ended up double majoring in english and journalism, with a minor in queer studies), he works for a publishing company and has a pretty cushy job as an editor or something, idk yet, and he's doing really, really well for himself- until one day, he gets a call from his mom, Esther, and finds out that his father is sick. sicker than he should be, really, and they're just now convincing him to get checked out.

of course, after hearing the news, David is torn. his family is from a small town, so job opportunities are hard to come by... but regardless, within a little over a week, David has moved back home to help take care of things.

pretty soon, david has a job. thanks to his background knowledge in journalism and his writing ability, he's able to score a job from Joseph Pulitzer, who runs a few newspapers in their town and others in the surrounding area. he feels like he's gotten a whole new start from the past he disliked so much, until it all comes back to bite him in the ass when he runs into Jack Kelly at the co-op. 

"Davey?"

"Wha-- Oh! Jack?"

"Good to see ya, man! What are ya doin' back?"

"I moved back a few weeks ago. Missed home, you know?"

"Just couldn't stay away, could ya?"

"Guess not."

they talk for a few minutes, but eventually have to split apart- jack has to get his feed back to the farm before his girls, aka: his cows, get angry, and davey has to get the chicken scratch back home before esther maims him. they exchange numbers, though, and promise to catch up sometime soon.

after that encounter, Jack Kelly ends up showing up a lot more often. davey sees him all the time without meaning to. in line at the grocery store, at the co-op, stopped next to him at the one stoplight in the middle of town- everywhere. they're never able to talk, though; not until one evening, davey gets a call from jack. 

at first, conversation is a bit tense- but only because it's been so long since they've talked. once the ball gets rolling, though, they're laughing and carrying on like they never stopped talking. when the conversation calms down a bit, jack asks davey if he'd like to come over.

"i'd love to, if your wife doesn't mind having a guest, of course."

"i... actually don't have a wife."

"oh-- oh, i'm sorry, i just assumed-"

"nah, it ain't nothin' to twist yourself up about. you know where i live, yeah? swing by 'round seven."

"sounds like a plan." 

and that's how davey finds out that jack owns the land that his father's farm was on. the house, though, is different- and he soon realizes that jack has completely remodeled. the porch isn't rotting anymore, and the yard is green and trimmed, and the pond out in the back yard doesn't look god-awful anymore, much to davey's delight.

dinner goes off without a hitch. everything goes right, just like old times. they swap college stories. jack tells davey about inheriting the farm and making it his own (likely to scrub every piece of his father out of his life), while davey tells jack about the big city and how different it is being home. it's nice. comfortable. familiar.

jack and davey try to meet up as often as they can after that night, which is difficult considering their schedules, but they somehow make it work. they make it really work, in fact- they have dinner twice a week (usually with some old friends), they fish together (read: jack fishes while david sits on the back of his truck and talks to him), and they even go to rodeos and football games together (to look back on they're youth, of course). 

one night, about a week before jack's 29th birthday, they meet up at the bar in town and spend hours drinking beer and whiskey and talking about life. once they make it back to jack's house, they continue talking on the couch, but talking turns into cuddling ("just for old time's sake") and cuddling turns into confessions ("i only dated those girls because i thought it would help me get over you") and confessions turn into tears ("when he found out, he kicked me out of the house") and tears turn into promises ("i loved you then, jack, and i'll love you now") and promises turn into more. 

eventually, more turns a knee on a ground and a ring on a hand. eventually, a ring on a hand turns into a wedding. eventually, a wedding turns into memories, years down the line, while sitting on an old porch swing and watching grandchildren play in the front lawn.

the end !!!!

[cassyapper]

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

[curedeity]

The City Kids

Summary: Akiza doesn't know why she agreed to babysit the twins, it had been a long while she'd had to interact with a child for more than a few minutes. Really, couldn't anyone else have done this? Oh well, since she was here, she'd have to make the most of it.

    Large empty houses, complete with white walls and pristine floors cleaned by a collection of staff, were nothing new to Akiza. Her mother had worked part-time, and her father had been a mayor, so their house had always been lavish and vacant except for Akiza. Sometimes, Akiza wondered that if she had gotten a different deck, or been a bit more lost in the past on the day she had chosen her moniker, would she have been known as the Rose Ghost?

    It was a particularly stupid thought, but sometimes stupid thoughts were at least entertaining, and that included when it was sitting around a table with Leo and Luna and coming up with new monikers for all three of them.

    Out of perhaps all the Signers, the twins were the people Akiza held the least ill-will against. She still couldn’t help but be a bit peeved at Yusei for his initial win against her, and Jack and Crow were… loud. Despite Akiza’s unilaterally positive feelings towards the twins, she had still panicked for over an hour when she had been asked to babysit them for the day.

    Beyond the fact that Akiza had no skills with young children, these two children happened to be ones that she had been responsible for traumatizing. Perhaps not directly, but she had been a part of Arcadia, and she had been there for Leo’s duel against Sawyer. She wouldn’t blame either of them for being at least a little wary of her, if not outright hostile.

    To her surprise, when she had entered their apartment, Leo had immediately demanded a duel with her, and Luna had peppered her with shy questions about her powers.

    Akiza… wasn’t very comfortable with dueling a ten year-old when she was only now truly learning to control her powers, but Leo didn’t seem too put off by her refusal, instead he had started showing her his deck and babbling on.

    Somehow, that situation had ended with them sitting at the table and coming up with stage names for each of them. Leo insisted on calling them superhero names, which Luna had commented was just the influence of too many cartoons. Now, that had started an argument.

    “Superheroes are super cool and you just don’t like them because you don’t have taste!”  Leo waved his hands around, nearly smacking his sister’s face by accident, though she leaned back just in time. “They come in and--- and they save the day like woosh and talk about how you’re supposed to do the right thing!”

    “But spies actually have brains? Yknow, like, braincells? I know you lost yours in the supermarket, but they actually do help with problem-solving.” Akiza had not known until today how sarcastic Luna could be, and she could honestly say that if she wasn’t panicking at how to stop the argument, she would’ve been impressed. “Superheroes can talk about doing the right thing, but ultimately they just punch people and propagate a cycle of violence.”

    “They do not! They’re trying to stop these people from committing murder! And most of them don’t commit murder themselves, it’s all about showing how you don’t need to be mean to stop people from being mean!” Leo cried out.

    “Those lessons may hold in stories, but in real life murder seems like a very viable option. I would’ve loved to stab that ape king that nearly killed me in the spirit world,” Luna countered.

    Akiza should’ve never agreed to babysit. If Akiza was a ghost, at least then she wouldn’t be subject to whatever punishment she was met with for letting the children get this rowdy.

    Well, here goes nothing.

    Akiza cleared her throat, catching the attention of neither child. They continued her argument, blissfully unaware of her imploding existence. “Murder isn’t a good answer to your problems, Luna.” She finally got out.

    Luna turned to meet Akiza’s eyes, embarrassment flooding her countenance. Unlike her snappish, sarcastic tone with her brother, Luna was much shy in her speech to Akiza. “Sorry, I know that.”

    “I mean, property damage is a much better way to make someone leave you alone and fear you,” Akiza added, because from her slight memories of interacting with children, she knew you weren’t just supposed to chastise them, but rather direct them towards better behaviors. Positive reinforcement.

    Luna blinked at her, clearly mulling over Akiza’s advice, while Leo had also fallen silent as he considered Akiza’s point. “But if we committed property damage, wouldn’t that security guy who chased Yusei everywhere come after us?” Leo pointed out.

    ...who? Was Leo referring to Officer Trudge? Perhaps this was something Akiza had missed while she had remained in Arcadia.

    Nevertheless, Leo’s point about the police was a good one, however… “It depends on where the property damage is, I suppose. If we’re talking about the spirit world, I doubt they have a police force that would chase you there.” Akiza responded, and they both turned to Luna to confirm that point.

    “I don’t remember there being any police in the spirit world, it’s more community governed, and I doubt any of the spirits would mind,” Luna shrugged.

    “Then yes, property damage seems like a perfectly reasonable way to solve that hypothetical problem,” Akiza nodded, and both children looked at her with wide, adoring eyes.

    It was terrifying.

    “...You wanna watch cartoons now?” Leo offered.

    Luna scoffed at her brother’s offer before Akiza could even respond. “Akiza’s an adult, she obviously doesn’t want to watch your superhero cartoons, we should watch my spy ones instead!” 

    The two continued arguing while Akiza went and cooked some popcorn, the sound of kernels exploding masking their sounds. Her advice hadn’t stopped them from arguing for long, so now she was on to plan b, which was giving them food so they had no room in their mouths for sly comments.

    And with her in control of the remote and ordering that they take turns, the rest of the day was a bit less eventful overall.

    It wouldn’t be until months later that Luna asked Akiza for the best way to burn down a castle.

[scary-lasagna]

Hey so lemme just say I love your blog!! But I was wondering if you could do some head cannons (nsfw or age or both) about Laughing Jack? But if not how would you think an s/o who’s bubbly and likes to laugh a lot would fair against any of the creepypastas? (Your choice)

I mean, Laughing Jack’s kind of,  👀  yknow

Laughing Jack

Depressed Clown boi

Doesn't recognize any social norms.

He'll stand too close while talking to you, and has no idea that you're paralyzed in fear of this giant clown boi talking to you.

He'll also

He's well around 6.5-7 foot tall.

His closet consists of black, black, white, black and the occasional gray.

This boi loves to cuddle though, and he's extremely touch starved.

Although, he's too stubborn to initiate the cuddles.

He also has some very obvious abandonment issues.

He'll be clingy around those he's fond of, and extra clingy around his s/o.

You won't go anywhere alone, and you'll most likely have to reassure him that you'll always come back.

Don't give him a phone because he'll call you every five minutes to see what you're up to.

Has not eaten a vegetable a day in his life.

If he's not eating candy, he's eating fried foods, chips, and baked goods.

He's a slut for kind of bear claws.

Even though he doesn't like vegetables (excluding potatos, obv), he won't hesitate to eat some fruit.

He's quite fond of strawberries and raspberries. But he hates pineapple with a passion.

Also, he's pretty muscular considering all of the junk food he eats, surprisingly.

NSFW

To be blunt, he's kinky as hell.

He's open to most things that involve him being dominant.

Jack wouldn't mind if his s/o takes the reins for a bit, though.

Okay, listen, he's kind of packin' too.

As much as I love the hc that he has striped genitals, I feel like it's more of a white to black ombre.

However, he does sport a particularly long, striped tongue.

Almost like a snake jdashdjas

Unfortunately, though, he's not the best at oral.

He don't know what tf he's doin down there but he tries his best.

I can also see him having a sweet food kink, like whipped cream.

And licking it off of you with that long tongue.

Also a slut for seeing his s/o in collars and/or tied up.

And maybe a lil bit of blindfold for the element of surprise.

He has some good self-control, and can probably cum on command if you asked him to.

He's fuckin loves vibrators.

Like, way too much.

And any kind of toys, for that matter.

But if his s/o has a doll of any kind, he'll shank it and then hang it over the fireplace.

He just gets a lil jealous, that's all.

He doesn't have much of a problem with hurting his s/o during sex if they ask for it.

He adores raking his claws down their body and seeing the pretty pink lines coating their body the next morning, though.

And marking them up with hickeys and love bites.

He's got Daddy(TM) energy ngl.

Calls you 'kitten' or 'doll' and always finding new ways to compliment how well you’re pleasing him either with your body or your moans.

[radramblog]

Shameless self-promotion (kinda)

I’ve kinda been meaning to talk about other things what I do, so here’s a bit of that, I guess. I should probably get used to talking myself up, seeing as I am actively on the job hunt at the moment.

It’s worth noting that even as this post is titled “self-promotion”, this blog is really the only public content I am making that is just me, myself, and I. The things I’m going to be discussing have me contributing, but I’m not like a lead organisational entity or what have you.

It’s also worth noting that these are some instances of some Niche Nerd Shit. So keep that in mind. If you don’t like Magic: The Gathering or Pokemon, I’ve got bad news for you.

Might as well go in the order I just put up.

Commander’s Herald is a website that I believe was formed kind of as an offshoot in part to EDHREC’s Articles section, as a hub for deck techs and columns about MTG’s Most Popular Format (it’s official!). I’m not sure how well this is going to go for them, but it’s been chugging along since the start of the year without having the backup EDHREC has of, you know, being attached to an incredibly useful database, so fair enough.

I am not a writer for Commander’s Herald, to be clear. I don’t know if I play enough of the format to really contribute something useful on a weekly/fortnightly basis, even though I do talk about the game weekly on this very blog.

What I was a part of was the CUT! series run by one Travis Stanley on the site. It’s effectively a contest about creative deckbuilding under tight-ish restrictions- as an example, the first round required a deck with only Standard cards, 10+ Artifacts, and a Commander (or pair) from Commander Legends. It’s been really interesting how these have turned out so far, and the concept sounded really fun to me, so I put myself down to be part of the…show?

Many months later, I got my shot in as part of the fifth heat (though I think each round is completely separate), tying in to the release of D&D: Adventures in the Forgotten Realms- thus I had to build a deck with a commander built around that. I’m not going to go into it that deeply, since part of the contest is writing up a 800-900ish word dech teck to go with the list, but you can find the article here.

My Drizzt Do’Urden list did, in fact, make me go to the finals, for which the post (and new decklist and post) can be found here. It’s probably too early to tell at time of writing, but it looks like I have a solidly commanding (heh) lead to win that too with my Minn list, so that’s pretty sick.

I do enjoy this sort of creative build challenge a lot. It’s reminding me of my first Cube build, where my options were heavily restricted because of, well, myself (and yet it ended up not being cheap), and it gives me a great excuse to strut my particular brand of deckbuilding. In this case, to a somewhat larger audience than this blog gets.

Speaking of slightly larger audiences, I suppose I should talk about the podcast I’ve been on, The Writer’s Locke.

While I’ve mentioned the Nuzlocke Forums multiple times on this blog, I haven’t really gone into the weeds of it- I’m thinking of making a much grander post about it in future. But I am a longtime lurker of said forums, and due to the marginally increased presence of Aussie dorks, gravitated towards the writers/storylockes corners of the site’s membership.

In case it wasn’t obvious from me maintaining a very silly blog for a decently long time, I’ve felt for a while that writing was probably my most viable creative outlet, and as a result, I’ve felt for a while that I should contribute something to this corner of the internet, considering how much it means to me. Unfortunately, I’m about as confident in my creative writing skills as I am my saxophone skills (in that it’s been a very long while since I tried and I’m not sure I had any promise then), I’m terrible at starting and committing to projects, and I’m pretty shy, so I haven’t really gotten anywhere on that front.

However, an opportunity arose when some of said Aussie Dorks started to organise a podcast by and for the membership of this community. A half-audiobook half-discussion series that is utterly and extremely devoted to niche Pokemon fanfiction. For the first season, I ended up in the latter (discussion) half of that spectrum for three episodes, bringing somewhat of an outsider’s perspective to the whole thing- after all, even if I have been part of the community for many years now, that doesn’t mean I know jack or shit about how to write things and what makes stories good. (I mean, I know a bit, but yknow). I’ll link the forum posts for those episodes here, though they should be available on most podcast-based platforms:

-Episode 8, where we discussed Protagonists,

-Episode 9, where the topic was, of all things, Gijinkas,

-and Episode 10, which was about Worldbuilding.

The second season of the cast is still ongoing, albeit after a bit of a hiatus (life happens, baby), and for this one I’m signed up not as a discusser but as a reader for one of the fics that makes up the audiobook section of the podcast. In particular, I’m reading Carousel, a very low-Pokemon high-feelings, nonstandard sort of piece, and I believe the one that headlines every episode in the season. Like, for some they’ll just do a couple chapters and leave the rest for you to go through, such that we can show off multiple people’s voices and multiple people’s writing in one season of podcast, but seeing as Carousel has relatively short chapters and neatly fits one per planned episode of the cast, we’ve just got me doing the whole thing of it.

Being on a podcast, even one as ultimately low-key as this one, has been a bit of an interesting experience. Recording those discussion segments with Rainey and Garchomp (who also happens to be Carousel’s writer) was a lot of fun, and though it’s a bit more stressful, I am having a good time lending my voice to the story. If nothing else, it’s decent practice for D&D and the like, though I’m still convinced that my voice for Suicune (iirc she’s supposed to sound, like, “smoky”, which is not a thing my voice does) is pretty terrible. Considering how awkward the protagonist is, though, I think I’m a good fit for that at the very least.

I wouldn’t actually know, though. I haven’t listened to any of the episodes with my voice work in them. I know not liking the sound of your own voice is fairly common, since you don’t sound how you think you do, but I find hearing my own voice bloody abrasive. I was thinking about writing a whole post about it, actually, but I guess this is that. I was kind of hoping that this whole process would get me more used to it, but that hasn’t happened so far, obviously. I would like to be on a more casual podcast at some point, it seems like a lot of fun, although adding to the legion of white_dude_with_podcast.wav feeds isn’t really something I’m the most interested in.

Oh right here’s some links.

-Episode 1, where I read chapter 1,

-Episode 2, chapter 2,

-etc, etc. We’re currently up to the 6th episode of the 10-episode season, for reference.

I guess that’s it, there’s only really the two of them so far. Ultimately, while I’m much lower on free time than I used to be, I would like to be producing more I the realm of #content. As long as it keeps being fun and interesting, I want to be doing it. I guess it’s just a question of how long that ends up being, and how I find myself doing it.

But I think that’s a problem for future me.

[thehandsomeasshole]

@starttheanarchy from X

A rumbling high pitched cry of a living creature, the soft hum of a laser heating up. Before the spiderant can fully leave the ground in its attempt to launch itself at the red head, a quick shot from the head of DT turns it into ash. Moments later the large floating torso of a robot moves its way over to where the rest of the spiderants are and begins clearing the area with ease. "To be fair DT is a floating robot, I should get props for him being able to lift anything over a tonne at all." Is all she can say as she watches her creation be used not exactly for what she had originally intended.

A noise of agreement left her as she nodded her head, this was a mess that she was playing catch up on. Every step revealed a new and sometimes old issues or problems, and untold horrors that would explain some of the residents insanity.

"Oh so what am I suppose to not fight back and die? Self-defense is a thing." She keeps her lips tight on the actual number of people, she knows it is higher then she ever wanted.

Another reason to the countless hours she was stuck away while the others rested. But that is a mental spiral that no one has seen yet even herself, and Gaige wasn't going to break that record.

"Do you realize that it doesn't matter who, I would still be here. I would cause just as much chaos even if it was Maliwan or Torgue, the company doesn't matter, it is the enormity of the actions that are taking place that I have a grievance against. So once I am done with this, I got a whole check list to work through."

A small tsk as her eyes roll once more, she could already feel the odd ache from rolling them too often. But to want the title of tyrant why trying to claim being a hero? And he was calling her a hypocrite, the gall. But then there is silence after her offer. It is enough to get her to move forwards, the area now clear of deadly wildlife, and to sit down on top one of the ridges. And she could hear him begin in her ear, truly starting fro the beginning.

Her hand goes to her vault buckle, slipping it off and clicking it open to show a hidden system of her own design. A small holoscreen flickered to life above it and she began to take notes, to be able to keep her questions to herself and not interrupt. But before she could really take much, she had to slowly turn her eyes back to that giant floating H as he began to talk about the first real blood shed the station ever saw. No one deserved that kind of fate, let alone those who can't even fight back. And she could understand why loaders were used for what they are, even if there had been enough time to design something new.

Through out the whole story she let out the occasional hum or tsk in reaction, but also to let the man on the other side of the echo understand she was still listening.

A mechanic on Concordia? Something to ask others later on, there couldn't be many considering the lack of them on Pandora. As well as to ask on the reason why for the initial no considering at that point the vault hunters as far as she was aware had no issues with Hyperion, let alone Jack.

And she was torn on the laser because she could understand the pain of such handwork just ripped away. And she had a vague idea on how challenging it was with the laser that rested inside DT's head. But at the same time, she would never want anyone to have a laser of that magnitude considering if it could do that to a bandit settlement. Well it would only be a few tweaks away from being able to glass planets.

She paused in her notes when he mentioned seeing everything, it was hard to believe but there was something in his voice that made her believe he certainly saw something he shouldn't have. Gaige was going to have to go back onto that one on a different day since she could tell that right now was a horrible time to do so. And even as he talked about what Lilith did and the reason why he wore a mask, she could head just how this was not the cocky Jack from earlier.

This was a person who was done but still going. Something that it seemed being near Pandora did to people.

"Well I would say quit your day job regardless and stop all this without anymore murder. But we both know we are too far in to be willing to stop." A small click as she closed the cover on the buckle to once more hide away her person little holounit that stored information that she kept only for herself. The notes saved for review for another day. "I do have questions, but you sound..... Rough. Would you rather a topic change? Or just end this call? I do have things to do, and I'm sure you have plenty of ill placed paper work to finish."

Although it was given reluctantly, Jack agreed. It was impressive that she'd learned how to do those kinds of things at her age.

"Yeah, whatever. I'll give you that one. You also get props for making it look so ugly, just thought it was a bold move. Yknow? You know."

... What? He couldn't be totally nice.

"Sure. Self defense. Like when you stroll into someone else's town, someone shoots at you so you obliterate the entire population! That kinda self defense? Cause that's the kind that we've both partaken in, right?"

A small chuckle slipped past Jack's lips, and though he let the fact that she ignored his question slide, he kept the thought tucked away for later.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, kid. Must be nice not to have a personal reason for doing all this." Had he said too much? "I mean, you must feel great getting all tucked up in your bed at night, snuggled up with your teddy bear, thinking about what a productive day you've had, while I've got widows and widowers moping about 'cause the vault hunters murdered their significant others while they were trying to do their jobs. Hope you rest easy, champ."

Sometimes Jack really did consider quitting. Leaving Hyperion for good. Taking Angel, maybe Nisha if she would, go back to Tantalus and live a quiet life.

Hah. A quiet life. In this universe? What a joke.

"Mhm. Too many eggs in one basket, right?" he sighed, shaking his head and letting his pen drop back onto the desk, satisfied that he'd done enough work to subdue his poor PA for now, "Don't even think I'd remember what I did before this whole fiasco if I tried."

Wait, wait, wait...

What?

She was actually... asking him? Not-...

Jack swallowed hard, "I- Uh... I don't..." he shook his head, brows furrowing deeper and he continued, "I don't really know what you'd have questions about, but... To Hell with it, shoot. Ask whatever the Hell you want, but keep in mind I will be drinking."

He leaned down, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a small metal flask, flipping the cap up and taking a long drink. Exhaling sharply, he turned back to the echo.

"Alright. Go for it."

[undercooked-ravioloni]

can you do hcs of what the creeps and/or proxies look for in a s/o??? (def include ej please, I like the way uve been writing him)

hope you like it! i really enjoyed writing this and i think you can tell by how long it is haha it’s a wholeass essay of around 1300 words um

edit: as much as i hated to, i cut out the proxies bc it was too long cries 

warning! abuse is mentioned (marked by !!!) right under the cut

+ jeff the killer

+ anything he can smash

+ okay but - his s/o should preferably be someone who can keep up with him and his urges, since he’s prone to doing it anywhere, anytime, anyhow

+ jeff’s not a picky guy. a badass s/o would be super awesome, cause he’s not exactly a soft man, but a cute one would be really nice too he loves it when his s/o is acting all adorable but he wouldn’t be caught dead admitting that

+ again, really not picky. if they’re clingy, he’d sigh as he pretends that they wanted to hold hands, when secretly, he adores his s/o being affectionate to him in front other thats right mofos, flexx

+ he, himself, would never initiate that in public though

+ and anyone who dares make fun of him is gonna go to sleep, if you catch my drift

+ if his partner isn’t that up for pda, that’s fine too, since he isn’t exactly a mushy and touchy touchy person for the most part

+ also, someone with kinda low standards would fit him well woops

+ not that he doesn’t put in effort. he’s not good at coming up with gift ideas or dates, but it’s the thought that counts? and boi you can bet he thinks of his s/o all the time sometimes

[!!!] jeff is most likely to abuse his s/o though during his fits of anger (which are frequent, although they may lessen if the man had someone to like, be there for him?). high chance that he would yell at them, play mind games and hit them so he ain’t my number one recommendation

+ BEN Drowned

+ BEN would really enjoy having a clingy s/o ! he likes being the one they go to and need validation from. he’s likely to hold hands when they go out, put his arm around them and just show how much they are into each other

+ he is big on teasing and flirting and ass grabbing so bonus points if his s/o gets all flustered and blushes all just for him boosts his ego so much

+ considering how he’s not an outdoors person, he would prefer a homebody - all he wants is to get sum chill with his s/o

+ someone who likes video games is pretty much a given !

+ well, at the very least, they have to be okay with video games, since BEN will constantly ask them to game with him

+ oh man, a competitive s/o that will give him a run for his money would put this boy on cloud nine

+ BEN would like a petite s/o he could pick up if they’re taller / stronger that him, his ego will kinda be bruised ngl

+ this ghost boy just wants to melt into his s/o’s arms and have them stroke his hair. bonus points if they mumbles sweet nothings in his adorable elf ears

+ eyeless jack

+ dating has never really been on ej’s mind mostly cause he doesn’t think anyone would wanna be with … the thing he is :,))

+ hmm

+ he would like someone who can be mature and can give him his space. he’s not too fond of people who overreact. it kind of makes him feel suffocated

+ someone non-judgmental cause, yknow, he literally eats organs for a living but hey, he’s a nice guy

+ in front of the others, he’s very civil with his s/o, treating them like anyone else in the household, but when they’re in private, he can be super affectionate and cuddly

+ an outdoorsy s/o would do jack good as they would drag him out of the little dark cave that is the medical room and into the nature. he loves nature, but often gets so lost in work that he forgets to get some fresh air

+ when it comes to physique, jack couldn’t care less. he’s definitely someone who is more attracted to the mind and if they are someone educated and knowledgeable with whom he can share his passion and curiosity for all types of subjects

+ he wants someone to have deeper, more meaningful conversations with

+ despite being a quiet person, ej isn’t a big fan of the silence. a talkative partner would complement him quite nicely, since he’s a pretty good listener. he could just listen to them talk about anything and everything for hours and not get tired

+ oh, and the person should be committed. jack thinks for the long-term, “life-long mate” sort of thing

[mixedsnape]

I'm illiterate and just listened to the audio books so i probably missed it but what did dumbledore do please rant to your heart's content

sklfjfdk i accidenyl exited the page so now i gotta rewrite everything, theres probrably more, but its late.

left harry alone on the doorstep of relatives he doesnt fucking know int he muddle of the night, as an infant, without consulting anyone and against the wishes of another proffessor.

i will reiterate, did no legal checks, barely a background check (which he then disregards) and then doesnt fucking check on the kid again for 11 years.

had arabella figg spy on harry meaning either he knew how harry was being treated adn ignored it or arabella was an unreliable spy which he would have known

the special boy can play dlying murder soccer at 11 no problem, but you need parent permission to go tot he little village apparently

would have know sirius was innocent or at leave could have gotten him a fair trial because fukcing everyone got a trial, bellatrix got a trial, wha tt he fuck

keeps information from harry to get him to do what he wants basically, straight up said that eventually he was keeping shit from him because he accidently started caring about him meaning he said Whoops my

everything to do with the philosophers stone, if we ignore the fact that he was basically baiting harry into there, he still placed a dangeorus artefact surounded by dangerous traps to lure a dangerous man into a school full of children who, as we see, could easily get past them (or, yknow, fucking die like the trio almost did)

similarly, set the mirror of erised there, knowing anyone could come across it when its been known to drive people mad

kept the school open with a fucking bassilisk on the loose, what the fuck, he was alive and teaching the last time that happened, he was there for moaning myrtles death

locked sirius, yknow the abuse victim with the 12 years of trauma, in the house he was uuuuuh abuse in? like, there were other places he could have none, literally any black property, out of the country, any other house that could be hidden, literally.

allowed hagrid to teach, like i like hagrid hes cool but he literally can not be trusted to run a classroon, he brought a fuckign illegal dragon into the school

allowed teachers to dole out bullshit punishments includign sending 11 year olds into the forbidden forest at night, locking a 13 year old out of the dorms while a mass murderer is on the loose and doing  nothing (presumably) about a grown man trasnfiguring a child into a ferret

no, seriously, letting 11 year olds wander around the murder forest int he dead of night searching for whatevers MURDERING THE FUKCING UNICORNS

is so clearly biased towards gryfindors, its wild

continued to send abused students back to their homes, no matter how much they begged to stay at hogwarts

treated 11 year old abuse victim grew up in london during ww2 tom riddle like a fucking evil mastermind from the first time they met instead of like, getting the kid therapy.

high key, even if he didn’t trust tom riddle, letting him teach at hogwarts would have given him a way to directly supervise him at all times!

*gestures towards lockhart*

*gestures towards grindlewald*

*gestures towards the dementors*

shld have snapped the elder wand in half, but thats just a pet peeve

allowed remus to teach without insuring he would be taking his wolfsbane and having no safely measures in place for when he didnt, putting the whole school in danger

in my opinion, his ignoring and avoiding harry during 5th year and not fucking helping him or telling him shit directly led to harry and co storming the ministry, going right into a trap and sirius fucking dying.

did jack shit about hte marauders almost bullying, sexually assulting adn almost killing severus, and who knows who else they treated like that, and continued to downplay their abuse until he fuckign died.

prepared no one for his fuckign deaht, wow

groomed harry, a child, to die, as a child, with no knowledge as to why he had to sacrafice his life until the very last moment. lets be honest, the final battle could have happpened at any age for harry and dumbledore would have let him fucking die.

had the same general low regard fro muggles as teh rest of the wizarding world

employed filch, the functionally disabled squib, to be the glorified janitor of a magic school.

did nothing to help harry during the triwizard tournament thing which is pretty fucking wack considering he was 14 and completely unprepared.

doesnt tell harry jack shit. doesnt tell anyone ajck shit.

in general acts like an abusive father figure who does whatever the fuck he wants no matter how much it hirts others because its For The Greater Good. no im not projecting, shut up.

also heres a long as reddit thing about why dumbledore sucks that i have been recomended but havent read through

[macklives]

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

[tumblunni]

SO! IT is time for Dr Snap headcanons!

* He is autistic like me, because I find a lot of his portrayal very relateable as an autistic person. He's clearly hyperfocusing about monsters, and he gets so super passionate and infodumps about them! And he's very socially awkward and perceived as "weird and childish" by others for being so passionate about his interests and not being good at making the correct facial expressions and stuff. In the Japanese version there's actually even more of that, in English he speaks in a standard formal grandpa style but in Japanese he speaks in oddly stilted childish language and uses the unfitting pronoun "boku" that's usually only used for young kids in fiction. There's also a scene of him literally saying he gets social anxiety in crowds, which was left out in the English translation for some reason. I was surprised to hear about that from my Japanese friends, it makes him even more relateable! And of course, his whole plot is basically the fantasy version of "his only friends are animals because other humans exclude him", which is another relateable mood.

* Also I want the Darkonium Orb as a stim toy, lol! I know it's an evil artifact but a floating ball seems like it'd be super fun to swish around in circles. And I wonder if it's like a crystal or if it's like a squishy stress ball...? I'm getting distracted, lol!

* Since all we know about his backstory is that he had no friends even as a child, I headcanon that he suffered badly from bullying and isolation in his youth that permenantly impacted his ability to trust anyone but monsters. I had the idea that maybe he was also mistreated by his parental guardians for being autistic, and he often used to hear "if you misbehave, the monsters will get you!" It actually backfired and started his love of monsters! He used to dream that the monsters that take away bad kids would take him away from his suffering...

* Oh, and related to this: it's my headcanon that he was raised in an orphanage since a very young age and doesn't know anything about who his parents were. He was just found clutching his baby sister crying and shivering in an abandoned wagon in the woods, full of dead bodies that were assumed to be his family or at least whoever was taking care of him at the time. For a long time it was thought that monsters had killed the family, so that's why the cautionary tale of "monsters coming to get you" was used to discipline him at the orphanage, and why it hit so hard. But when he grew up and became a famous and successful scientist he was able to finance an investigation into his own past and discovered the culprit was actually human bandits. He still could never find out the names of his parents though, but knowing that monsters hadn't been the cause of his tragedy helped him get over his fear of them and eventually learn to love and trust them more than anyone else

* Oh yeah it's also my headcanon that despite how obsessed he is nowadays with the cuteness of monsters, he was actually very frightened of them all the way up until his 20s! The "you're a bad child for these neuroatypical symptoms you can't control, and monsters are gonna get you just like they got your family" thing actually did affect him a lot as a child. He saw it as kind of a guilty or sinful feeling that sometimes he would wish they would just take him already because even the horror of monsters can't be as bad as the horror of people, yknow? But he was still too scared of them to ever really interact with them at all, and believed whatever he was told about them cos he had no other frame of reference. He also felt rather aimless in life because he hadn't discovered this thing he would love so much, yknow? He flittered through loads of different hobbies getting temporarily obsessed but never finding anything that stuck with him. Bit of a jack of all trades!

* oh btw I headcanon his first name is Jack, lol! To fit with the playing card theming of the game. Also his younger sister is named Jacqueline and she became known as Jack Of Hearts as a famous adventurer~!

* Oh also I headcanon that he has a sister, lol. Should have mentioned that earlier! The game never tells you anything about the player's mother except that she died, so I headcanoned maybe she was Dr Snap's sister and he's your uncle literally just because I like Dr snap a lot and I want him to adopt the player and take him away from his shitty dad. Like man you know you're a shitty dad when the main villain of the damn game has more scenes of positive parental interaction with your son! (ANOTHER REASON WHY DR SNAP TURNING BAD AND DYING WAS SO SAD)

* His sister was very similar to the protagonist as a child, a punky outgoing stubborn badass who wouldnt listen to rules and wouldn't take any shit from anyone! Even though she was his younger sister, she would always be the one protecting her shy older brother from bullies! She was his dearest only friend in such a tough life...

* Sadly, she was considered "more adoptable" since she was neurotypical. Young Snap blamed himself that he was holding her back from finding a new family, because she always refused anyone who didn't want to take her brother too. He thought it would be better if at least one of them escaped the orphanage, so he eventually convinced her to leave him and go with a nice family. And then he didn't see her again for decades, and he didn't have a single other friend...

* The instigating incident that caused him to first become a monster research was because of this. He didn't have a good life after losing his sister, he eventually just aged out of the foster system without ever being adopted, and had trouble living independently and finding a job with his limited skills of Just Hyperfocusing On Random Stuff And Not Being Able To Talk Good. Nobody really valued him enough, he was just considered strange and all his attempts to research various things (I think before monsters he liked butterflies a lot) were considered creepy and useless because he was so lower class and could never afford to get a proper scientific education to actually do anything with his skills. So he ended up flitting about between jobs that he would keep failing cos of his lack of social skills, having no time to do the hobbies he cared about and being told he could never make a job out of them. And having no family or friends and living in terrible conditions. He didn't have any hope left in life...

* So one day he ended up making a sad decision to end it all, after being fired from yet another job and just not having the strength to keep trying when it seemed like this would be every day of the rest of his life. He went out into the woods to take some sleeping pills and pass away where he wouldn't be bothering anyone. But by a stroke of fate he ended up bumping into a monster!

* Because he'd already made his peace with dying, he didn't have any fear if it killed him here. But instead this titanic beast simply stumbled to the ground and desperately clutched at a pile of broken eggs. It had already been fatally wounded by a hunter, and only wanted to try and protect its children from the same fate. Dr Snap remembered his child self clutching his baby sister to protect her from the bandits, and he was so moved that he tried to save the poor creature! But his limited skills learning science only from books meant he wasn't much use. And all he even knew was how regular animals work, which could end up only hurting a monster! Plus he was in the middle of nowhere with no supplies!! He tried his best but he was completely out of his depth, and all he could do in the end was hold the poor thing and stroke its head as it passed away. And as the tears streamed down his face, they landed on the one still living egg that the monster was protecting. It hatched into twins who would be his first of many monster partners!

* So he rushed home carrying these lil newborns and desperately took care of them. He began researching monsters in order to look after them properly, and found that he was totally sfascinated by them and also it was the one thing he was truly talented at that he'd always wanted to find! Having a family to take care of was what he really needed to find a reason to live again, and he was also able to finally make a career out of his monster research and find enough success to live more comfortably. He even ended up inventing the monster scout ring and founding an entire company all about mosnter battle tournements! And this led to him finding his sister again, because she heard news of this and recognised him. They reunited as adults and rebuilt a happy relationship, and she was overjoyed to hug her new lil monster nieces and nephews!

* So yeah he has a lot of reasons to love monsters a lot and see them as the embodiment of goodness that deserves everything in the whole world. And after his sister passed away he was left alone with his monsters again, terrified of losing more family, and slipping deeper into the madness of those forbidden legends that could give his monsters eternal happiness...

* also I think he likes tea, it would be nice to have a fancy tea party with him and his monsters

* also he is a good man who didn't deserve to die

[penzyroamin]

OH PENZY I THINK THAT ANY WAY YOU CHOOSE TO HANDLE THE "HASTA LA VISTA, JACKASS" PROMPT I WILL LAUGH TILL I CRY SO PLS THAT ONE!!! w javid or newsbians, take your pick

ELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK SO THIS IS SUCH AN OLD PROMPT BUT. IT IS FINALLY DONE AND IT IS SO MUCH LONGER THAN I EXPECTED AND YKNOW WHAT. JUST TAKE IT. HERE IT IS. also it has southern davey because i’ve been a lil homesick recently and decided to Project, Babey!

(javid, modern au)

“You don’t know what you do to me,” Davey says quietly, and he’s holding back tears so obviously that Jack doesn’t think he’s really holding them back at all.

He holds up the box in front of Jack’s face. “What the fuck? What the FUCK!”

“In my defense–” Jack starts, and Davey waves the box so wildly Jack worries he’ll get hit with it.

“What defense! Tell me what this is, to my goddamn face!”

“Tuna casserole,” Jack says weakly, and Davey chucks the box into the sink.

“Who the goddamn fuck do you think you are?”

“You always told me casseroles–”

“That,” Davey seethes, “is a fuckin’ disgrace. You hand over a casserole without fucking fish in it, in a nice casserole pan that you’re okay with never gettin’ back.”

“You never told me the fish part!” Jack says, and Davey presses his palms to his eyes as he starts shaking with laughter.

“What the fuck,” he says, and Jack really has no fucking idea what’s happening.

“Dave?”

Almost seamlessly, his laughter turns to sniffing, and Davey pulls his hands away from his eyes, looks at Jack for less than a second, and sobs.

“Oh, Jesus. Son of a– fuck. Fuck,” Jack mutters, taking a tiny step forward before Davey collapses right into him, making him stagger backwards as he grabs handfuls of Davey’s flannel.

“It’s okay,” he mutters, and Davey gasps against his shoulder. “It’s okay, Dave, you’ll be alright. I’m right here.”

It’s like some kind of gross fucking prank, the way everything turns. The way that Jack can text Davey in the morning about Isaac, who was two minutes late to the Modern Spanish Prose lecture Davey had at eight in the morning, (but Davey had been far too sleep-deprived to consider that before proceeding to spend the day and then hook up with him without ever getting his number,) and then who had vanished from Davey’s life, and that an hour after that conversation, Davey’s aunt is dead.

And then a day after that, Jack is in Georgia, and Davey’s crumbled against him, sobbing.

“Jack,” Davey murmurs quietly, like it’s a kind of prayer. “Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack… Jack.”

“Davey?” Jack says, and he feels Davey clutch at his back, his breathing ragged and harsh as he tries to rein himself in, his sniffs slowing down but then speeding back up, like it’s occurring to him all over again.

Jack doesn’t know how long it takes for him to get Davey over to the couch, curled into a tight little ball and slowing his breath with that one app on his phone while Jack sticks large squares of brownie on top of ice cream to carry it over to him.

Davey sticks his hands a few inches past the barrier of the blanket he’s wrapped himself up in so he can take the bowl gratefully, sticking his spoon into it like he’s digging up treasure.

Jack sits down next to him and Davey holds up one corner of his blanket so Jack can share it.

It’s still a little weird, if Jack’s being honest. There’s no guidelines, no rules for what they are when there isn’t hundreds of miles in between them.

Are they close, like their words say? The way Davey sends him a good morning and a good night every day, the way Jack knows that when he says he loves him right before he passes out, he’s going to wake up with a notification from last night saying that Davey loves him, too?

Or are words just words? Jack doesn’t know. He doesn’t think so, he thinks there’s more than just words that can tell him that Davey really does care about him.

Or maybe he’s just too sad and too in love for his own good.

Because that’s another thing, there, the fact that there’s hundreds of miles between them, usually, and when there is, Jack’s able to hold himself back from falling off the brink. Of course it’s there in the way he smiles too hard when Davey sends him something funny, and in the way he animates everything he knows of Davey in his head, the video chats and the selfies and everything, into something almost corporeal. The way he sometimes rolls over when he can’t sleep and almost thinks he can see Davey right next to him, smiling faintly and breathing just soft enough for it to not reach Jack’s face.

(And he blinks and then it isn’t real, of course, because Davey’s in Georgia and Jack’s in New York and that’s too far away for Davey to be laying right there, next to Jack.)

But there’s something entirely different about Davey actually being there.

They turn the TV on, and Jack studies Davey.

Jack sees his freckles up close for the first time, thick across his cheekbones from the sun but also scattered all over his arms and legs. He finally pins down how Davey smells, out of the options he’d made up in his mind when he didn’t have proof, and he thinks that the faint sort of vanilla-coconut from the cheap soap he saw in the bathroom is so, so much better than he thought it’d be.

Easily, though, the most startling thing is how warm Davey is.

It’s cruel, almost, because it’d be so much more useful up in Manhattan, but it’s still nighttime, and Jack’s as cold as ice no matter what, so he slowly reaches his foot towards Davey’s leg, just to steal a little bit of his warmth.

Immediately, Davey yelps, yanking his leg away. “Evil man!” he says, and his voice is still hoarse with tears, but it’s better. “I was already fixin’ to murder you, but now I’m gonna do it for real!” Jack decides to ignore just how much he loves that sentence, the way Davey’s twenty-one years worth of life in Georgia still shows clear as day through his voice no matter how much every socialite English teacher tried to beat it out of him.

The Jacobs family must make a picture, he thinks, what with the combo of the slang left over from a million different languages, David and his siblings with their “Southern charm” or however Sarah wants to put it, Esther and Mayer with their Eastern European accents and sensibilities, and family from everywhere in between.

But still, there’s a conversation going on, and Jack has to respond.

Jack groans. “You and your space heater self’ve been holdin’ out on me for three years, and now that I’m here you’re gonna hold out on me some more?”

“You’ve got the blanket, don’t you?”

“Yeah, ha, ha. Hasta la vista, jackass.”

Davey rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling, and Jack practically feels the world light up. He keeps his eyes trained forward, towards the TV, as Davey tucks himself in closer to him.

“I’m sorry I yelled at your casserole,” Davey says.

Jack coughs out a laugh. “It’s fine. It was a terrible casserole, anyways.”

“It was a sweet thought, though.” Davey turns his head to smile at him, soft and warm, before he turns back to the TV.

It’s comforting, which is weird for Jack to think because he’s really not the one who needs comfort, here.

“Thank you for coming,” Davey says quietly, his cheek pressed against Jack’s shoulder.

Jack turns his head, just enough so he can see him out of his peripheral. “Course I came.”

“I mean… Kind of a doozy for the first time we really get to see each other, y’know?”

Jack knows that they’ve both been thinking it, that in the three years since Sarah introduced them in a group chat and then promptly left it, they didn’t exactly think that the first time one of them would make it to the other would be because of something like this.

Still, that doesn’t stop his from turning fully so that he can rub Davey’s shoulder in what he hopes is some sort of comforting way. “Are you better than you would be because I’m here?”

Davey frowns, his eyebrows furrowing. “Of course.”

“Then it was worth it,” Jack says simply, and Davey smiles, surprised. It’s the prettiest thing Jack’s ever seen, just the shocked little grin he makes and the way his eyes light up, and god, if Jack doesn’t want to see it every day of his life.

“And hey,” he continues, hoping to keep the grin up a little longer, “once I save up some more, I’ll come back down and we’ll do it all proper.”

Davey laughs, taking the hand on his shoulder to hold it tightly. “I’ll even buy you flowers. Magnolias,” he teases, and Jack can’t help the way he nearly melts like butter into his hands.

“I’d like that,” he says, and he doesn’t even register that his tone was anything other than normal until Davey leans forward and kisses him.

Jack knew, getting off that plane, that he couldn’t kiss Davey. There were a million reasons about him grieving, and about how there was no way he could manage long distance and college at the same time, and reasons, reasons, reasons.

But on the other hand, he was weak, so how on Earth was he supposed to listen to his reasons when he was busy getting exactly what he wanted?

And so there his brain went, debating between how everything could feel right and wrong at the exact same time.

Eventually, despite everything in him saying yes yes yes this is right and he’s right here for the first time, Jack pulled away, pushing Davey back with the hand he already had against his chest.

“Dave, no.”

Davey’s face immediately drops, and Jack knows that fear like he knows the crescent-shaped dents in his palms and the dull ache in his stomach, because he feels that fear every single time he not-joking-joke-flirts with Davey and he doesn’t get a message back for a few minutes.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, if I read this wrong or you don’t want this or–” he cuts off when Jack interrupts him.

“Davey, you’ve gotta know I do, but–”

Davey groans, exasperated, and it really, truly should not be as attractive as it is. “Then c’mon, what’s the problem?”

“Davey, your aunt just died.”

Davey flinches visibly at that, but he covers it up in an instant. “And?”

“I’m not trying to cross any kinda line, but she was the first person you ever came out to.”

Another flinch, but still, “And? I’ve come out to plenty of folks, Jack.”

“I just…” Jack exhales slowly, trying to put together the case he’d made in his head. Jack’s Mind v The Commonwealth of Jack’s Heart, 2019. “When Miss Hannah got sick, I freaked out. Like I thought her maybe not making it would take away me being bi. And I kinda rushed to do everything I could to remind myself I was, y’know?” He took a deep breath. “I want this. You know I do. But I don’t want this if you just want something. It’s gotta be you wanting this, too.”

He finally manages to make eye contact, and finds Davey just staring back.

It’s been weeks, but Jack still isn’t used to the humidity.

Spot had laughed at him over the phone, but Jack stuck to his guns: the South fucking sucks.

The natural next question had been an incredibly cordial why the hell’re you there, huh? that Jack had found himself scrambling to answer.

The obvious answer was work: Jack had been looking for years for a real opportunity to get a gallery started, and Atlanta had basically handed him the perfect situation.

There was the less obvious answer, too, the mildly more humiliating one, but he doesn’t dwell on that one.

Except for right now, of course. He’s definitely dwelling.

Jack: it was good chatting with you again!

Davey: you, too :) sleep well

That was seven months ago. Two years of silence, three hundred and seventy-five messages worth of catching up in one evening, and then another seven months of radio silence.

Jack had spent years hundreds of miles away from Davey, wishing that he was closer to him. Now, he’s fifteen miles away, and he’s too scared to send him a text.

It takes another twenty minutes of him hesitating before finally he holds his breath and does it.

Jack: hey

Davey: who is this?

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fucking shit, fuckity fuck fuck fuck–

Davey: JOKING.

Davey: hi, jack :)