#you are not ruined because you have suffered

[teaboot]

Forgive me if you’ve already answered something similar but how do you deal with crushing guilt when you did fuck up but there’s not really anything you can do to like make amends or you’ve already done anything you could and still feel guilty?

Like I know the guilt isn’t productive at all, if anything it’s just paralyzing me, and mentally beating myself up over it isn’t actually helping anyone. But I don’t know where to go from there. Idk how to actually forgive myself, or at least be able to move on

CW FOR SELF HARM

Okay, so this is something I've had to work through for a very long time myself, and there's a few different strategies that I've used to cope and process with varying levels of success.

What I used to do was handle the "I've ruined everything and hurt people and am never going to be forgiven" feeling by hurting myself in a number of creative and stupid ways, from physical hurt (Everything you'd expect) to mental hurt (wallowing, speaking badly of myself, going over the bad thing over and over again in my head) to passive hurt (neglecting my health, not eating properly, failing to pursue good living conditions, letting others hurt me, deliberately wandering into risky situations) and despite any short-term relief or peace I got, none of it ultimately fixed anything.

At the end of the day, making myself suffer as retribution or apology didn't fix the thing I'd done and didn't make the guilt go away, and all it gave me was an additional sense of shame and isolation because now not only was I a garbage person, I was a garbage person with something to hide from my loved ones. Zero out of ten, do not recommend.

The stuff that DID help was harder and is going to sound stupid because *I thought it was stupid* until it worked for me.

First: Learn the difference between GUILT and SHAME.

GUILT is how you feel about your choices.

SHAME is how you feel about yourself.

"I was late to a date again, that was inconsiderate": GUILT. The issue can be resolved by analyzing the reason behind the action and planning steps to avoid repeating it in the future. Guilt is productive because it motivates us to improve our choices. Once you've corrected the behaviour, it's over.

A"I was late to a date again, I'm inconsiderate": SHAME. The issue can be resolved by asking ourselves:

What negative thing to I believe about myself?

What other experiences support this belief? What evidence do I have that the bad thing is true?

Do those previous experiences have anything in common? Where they actually proof of a personal lack, or did someone just tell me they were? Were my choices and actions understandable? Did I have a reason? Was I trying to hurt others, or was it a mistake, accident, or learning experience? Have I grown from that experience?

Can I forgive myself for the past? What do I need to do to forgive myself for those past events? Was I really at fault at all, or was it out of my control?

Accept that.

Your present traumas and shames often have roots in beliefs you had about yourself before the new shameful thing occurred. When you dig into resolving the issues that led to today, you can use those conclusions to work through tomorrow. This is something I learned in cognitive behavioral therapy.

There are a number of ways of unpacking these questions, but as I felt I was deliberately avoiding my thoughts and feelings, I chose to jump into them directly, and found it to be effective.

You can write things down, talk to someone, paint something, draw something, whatever. Whatever at all works for you.

My solutions was to find a comfortable place on the floor, sit down, close my eyes, and do box-breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4) while deliberately thinking about every upsetting memory attached to a specific bad belief that I could recall until I had nothing left to go over.

Judge and jury. Was I a bad person, or did I make a mistake? Did I have malicious intentions, or did someone accuse me of malicious intentions? Am I bad, or have I been conditioned to believe I'm bad? And at the end of it all, am I capable of better? Do I want to be better? And would a truly bad person care?

It was more emotional than I expected the first few times. Cried a lot, actually. But if I can liken it to a common feeling, it was like getting out of a very thorough shower and realizing you didn't know how dirty you were before.

The process sucks ass, no lie, but it's worth it. Like draining pus from a gnarly wound to get it healed up properly.

I'm not an expert, of course, but life has gotten better since I started. I'm better at forgiving myself, at least.

Also: Some people will never forgive others even for tiny things. Sometimes once you've done your best, you've just gotta say "fuck 'em". C'est la vie, mon amie.

Good luck, yeah?

♡

[exhuastedpigeon]

Have you considered that maybe I like that character because they’re fucked up? What’s the fun in a perfect character? Why would you try to fix them? Let them be worse. Let them keep digging the hole they’re in. Let them break. Let them ruin their life and have to figure out how to put it back together.

It’s fiction, it’s entertaining to see characters suffer. It would be so boring if they only made rational choices.

[damiansgoodgirll]

hi lovely! first off i love your writing about damian so much! you’re one of my favorite wwe writers!

and secondly, i have a request, is it possible to write something where damian and the reader have been fighting recently and she brings up the topic of breaking up and he tries everything to keep her from leaving? with it ending fluffy and maybe a little smutty? if you’re comfortable! thank you! <3

damian priest x reader

kinda changed the request a little, hope you don’t mind.

‼️angst angst angst angst angst

at your worst

“what do you want me to say? congratulations?” you screamed back, frustrated and tired by how he wasn’t understanding your point of view.

“yeah, it would have been nice” he screamed at you.

these fight as been going on for twenty minutes already and all you wanted to do was going to bed and sleep.

“like i didn’t do it before…okay… congratulation damian! this is the tenth time i’ve been congratulating with you for your accomplishments and your wrestlemania victory!”

“it doesn’t seem genuine to me” he said, throwing the title on the hotel bed you were both sharing.

“oh i’m sorry…why don’t you go back to the bar you were celebrating your victory and ask the barmaids to congratulate with you, i’m pretty sure they would be very happy to show you how proud they are…”

“not again y/n…i’m not doing this again! why can’t you accept that i just won? why can’t you be happy for me?” he asked you.

“i’m very happy for you damian! i’m so proud of you winning at wrestlemania! that’s not why i’m mad!” you said again, for the millionth time that night.

“then why are you mad?”

you couldn’t believe he asked you that again. not when you’ve been explaining it for over thirty minutes now.

“you went out and celebrated your victory with anyone instead me! damian i’m your girlfriend, we’re going to get married this summer and instead you preferred going out clubbing with models and people you don’t even know about! i’m not saying you shouldn’t have done that but…acknowledging me a little would have been nice you know!” you explained, again, but he wasn’t listening.

“sorry if i wanted to have fun a little”

“a little? damian i saw the photos! probably five or more women were all on you and you did nothing to stop them! you have no idea how i felt…the little respect you showed me!”

“so this is what’s about uh? well, let me tell you something, the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n!” he screamed back, probably not even understanding the part where you just asked him to respect you as his girlfriend “i know what this is about…”

“what?”

“you’re jealous…” he said and you tried your best to not laugh “you’re jealous because i get to have a title run and you don’t. you’re jealous because you cannot wrestle anymore due to your injury and you want to ruin my moment too. you’re jealous because you will never have your wrestlemania moment. you are jealous of me because i can do all the things you cannot do anymore. yeah, you injured yourself years ago and that caused you to stop to wrestle but that doesn’t mean that the whole world gotta stop wrestling because you did. it’s not always about you!” he let it all out.

ouch.

that hurt.

“is that what you think?” if you wear mad before now, you were just sad and upset about what he just said.

“of course! so why are you trying to ruin my moment?” he asked.

“i just asked you for a little respect damian…if you can’t respect me why are we even together?” you’re finally asked, letting a few years fall from your eyes.

this wasn’t the damian you fell in love with. the damian you knew would have never mentioned injury you suffered from years ago. the damian you fell in love with was kind and caring and he always supported you at your worst. the man you loved never let a victory getting to his head so maybe the damian you fell in love with was gone.

he was speechless when you asked him that question maybe realising he went too far with his words.

“i’m sorry y/n…i don’t know where all those words came from…” he apologised once he realised the huge mistake.

“they came from your mouth and i’m pretty sure all you said was what you were feeling. i just - i can’t believe that you would say something like that. yeah, maybe i’m a little selfish because i wanted you to be with me since you’re always gone but never in my life i would have thought that you would turn your back on me like this…” you quickly wiped your tears away.

“no no i promise you i never meant any of those words…you gotta believe me mi amor…” he was almost begging.

he knew he fucked up. he knew he fucked up when he saw how disappointed you were when you were all celebrating with his friends. he knew he fucked up when he saw the look you gave him when those women were trying to have a chance with him and he didn’t do anything to stop them. but he knew if fucked up the most when he talked shit about your injury because he saw how heartbroken you were and he knew that was the hardest point of your life and he fucked up because you weren’t going to forgive him.

“i’m pretty sure you meant those words damian…i, i’m sorry if i gave you the impression of wanting to sabotage your career…i always wanted the best for you and i’m so proud of your victory tonight…if that’s what you think of me there’s no reason for us to even keep the relationship going…it’s clear you don’t trust me and”

he stopped you before you could continue talking “no no stop it right there mi amor. those words weren’t true okay? i don’t know why i said that but i don’t mean it, i promise you i…i love you y/n so much and i know i hurt you but i don’t mean any of those words i said…please, give another chance…” he came closer to you but you took a few steps back.

“you don’t respect me damian…”

“i do”

“damian please…don’t make this harder” you said, crying.

“i’m not letting you go, not like this…i fucked up and i know…i’m so sorry but you’re the love of my life and…”

“and what? the way you behave tonight proved me everything i needed to know…the man i’m going to marry has to show me respect and you don’t damian…”

he couldn’t believe it was happening “but i do…i promise you, let me show you how wrong you are, please”

“no! you don’t! if you had a little bit of respect for me you wouldn’t have let those women on you! you wouldn’t have let them humiliating me! everyone in the club felt sorry for me because of how you were behaving! rhea even tried to take me outside because you were making me feel useless…damian, i don’t want to marry a person who’s not serious about his responsibilities…” you said and before you could even think you took the ring off and gently put it on the table next to the door.

“where-where are you going?” he asked, tears running down his face.

“i’ll be sleeping with rhea…”

“is it over?” he asked, fearing for your answer.

“goodnight damian”

[starfxkr]

oh yes… tp!jj is finally suffering the way i want him to! thank you john b for this life changing opportunity. reader starting to look at him with resentment in her eyes… maybe in the way that she looks at her mom almost, which really solidifies how badly hes infiltrated her life nd doin her dirty with what seems to her with no remorse is just… ruining her. having her smell like john b unlocks that manic part of his brain he was able to lock away with age is very alarming nd kinda scary! because lets be honest, he could never actually grow out of that terrible side of his personality, nd to have john b, his closest friend, his confidant, nd the only one he can really call family, being the catalyst of this makes him feel backed up in a corner.

thank you to that anon for mentioning his control issues bc it rears its ugly head again— he gets horrible tunnel vision with her nd id like to imagine that he doesnt let her leave his side during those few days. the random splurge of possessiveness is just his insecurity nd inability to properly communicate his feelings to you, even at his big age lol. he needs to kick it into high gear nd fix this mess, bc upon realizing that apology fucks arent working but in fact strains their relationship even more? he loses his mind lol :3 our dear reader deserves to slap ts out of him at some point!

— 🦢

its what he deserves....because when john b's around and jj's nice you realize 'oh! he coulda always been this way but he chose not to' so its no fuckin wonder that not only do you prefer when john b is around you start to prefer being around him period.

you make no secret of it either and while jombee is smug about it first it doesn't take him long to pull jj to the side and tell him you're gonna go for good if jj doesn't get it together. because when its coming up on the day jombee has to leave you get depressed, you won't leave his side and you won't stop crying asking him to stay.

this in turn makes jj extremely anxious, and we all know his anxiety takes form as anger. it becomes why are you acting like this you know he has to go, and, so what you wanna be with him now? you're gonna fuckin leave me? when that's not at all what you said and now you're more upset because he's getting so fuckin aggressive about it. and jj has no problem basically locking the two of you in the room the day john b leaves, he might not even let you say goodbye because he's stripped the sheets and fucks loud and hard so john b can hear.

but the thing is? john b doesn't care. well of course he cares about you being upset and not being able to say bye because he's genuinely very fond of you and has grown to really care for you. but its jjs possessive behavior that doesnt move him, because when jj inevitably wears himself out, john b just comes around to the window and gives you a kiss good bye and little pep talk through there.

honestly jj's hit the self destructive "im gonna destroy all my relationships" stage by this point which he's aware of and it terrifies him because he only just got you back but it's like he's watching himself from another body and he cannot stop his actions.

[just-late-roman-republic-things]

I'm oddly fond of Cato the Younger because he's such a strange, cranky, neurotic little man. Even now people speculate whether he had some undiagnosed disorder because his political extremism feels like another byproduct of his Cato-ness, alongside walking everywhere barefoot and refusing to wear shirts or ride horses.

Plutarch's portrayal of Cato the Elder, though, reminds me of the conservative politicians I've had to work with. I mean the pre-2009 "good ol' boys" who sat down in the Senate chairs in mismatched suits and cowboy boots that had never seen a cow. They'd tell you they got where they were with nothing but hard work and loving Jesus...

[Cato] used to say that his enemies hated him because he began his day’s work while it was still dark, and because he neglected his own affairs to attend to those of the public.

Most of them weren't virulently hateful like the republican party is now, but they'd certainly lean into prejudices, especially to win votes...

Cato acted thus, not as some writers imagine, from any private quarrel with Karneades, but because he disliked the philosophy altogether, and from a feeling of patriotism, regarded all Greek literature and methods of education with hatred and contempt...Cato not only disliked the Greek philosophers, but also looked with suspicion on the Greek physicians who then practiced at Rome... He quickly returned home, and pointed out to the Senate that the former defeats and misfortunes suffered by the Carthaginians had not really broken their strength...their present difference with the Numidians was, he urged, merely a prelude to an attack upon Rome, with which city they kept up the fiction of a peace which would soon upon a suitable opportunity be exchanged for war...His habit, when giving his opinion on any subject whatever, was to append the words, “And I also am of opinion that Carthage must be destroyed.”

...As well as play into people's insecurities about being looked down upon by wealthy, effeminate intellectuals...

Cato, when the taste for philosophy first sprang up in Rome, was vexed at it, and feared that the young men might become more eager to gain distinction by fluent speaking than by warlike exploits. He told the people that if they were wise, they would choose not the most agreeable, but the most thorough physicians to perform this operation for them, and that these would be himself and Valerius Flaccus; for with him as a colleague he imagined that he might make some progress in the work of destroying, by knife and cautery, the hydra of luxury and effeminacy.

A greater interest in profit than human welfare or social services…

Be this as it may, I for my own part consider that his conduct in treating his slaves like beasts of burden, and selling them when old and worn out, is the mark of an excessively harsh disposition, which disregards the claims of our common human nature, and merely considers the question of profit and loss... He cut off the water-pipes, by which water was conveyed from the public fountains into private houses and gardens, destroyed all houses that encroached upon the public streets, lowered the price of contracts for public works, and farmed out the public revenues for the highest possible rents.

And, of course, a talent for hypocrisy.

A good citizen, he said, ought not even to allow himself to be praised, unless the state were benefited thereby...Cato never seems to have been sparing of his own praise. [Cato's] soldiers enriched themselves considerably during the campaign; and at the termination of it he distributed a pound of silver to each man, saying that it was better that many Romans should return to Rome with silver in their pockets than that a few should return with gold. [Cato] sharply rebuked [Scipio], saying, “that it was not the waste of the public money that vexed him so much as the ruin of the old frugal habits of the soldiers, who were led to indulge in pleasure and luxury by receiving more pay than was necessary to supply their daily wants.” He also was wont to say that he had rather his good actions should go unrewarded than that his bad ones should be unpunished; and that he pardoned all who did wrong except himself. In his political life he seems to have thought one of his most important duties to be the impeachment and prosecution of those whom he thought to be bad citizens. He himself attacked many persons, and aided and encouraged others in doing so.

I fully admit that I'm projecting my own political biases onto Cato, perhaps unfairly. And this is going solely off Plutarch's account, which may have exaggerated or mistaken some things. I will give Cato credit for denouncing domestic violence, but that's the only value that I think he and I have in common.

I don't hate Cato the Elder. I'm not very good at hating, generally. But I do think his chief talents were tearing people down and feeling smug. In that respect, he was a very common and unremarkable kind of man.

And hearing that would probably piss him off more than anything.

[bingsooow]

Penguin pebbling (Afab Venture x Fem reader)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Sloane wanted to show how they felt to Y/n without actually saying it. They had been close to her for quite sometime and had always passed their feelings as strong because they were best friends. Not because they might have feelings for her. It took some time to come to that realization. Mainly because they didn’t want to ruin the friendship with how their body reacted to her.

They pondered day and night in their tent on how they could make it known in their own way how they felt without saying anything. At first they considered writing notes anonymously, however that idea was quickly shot down because Y/n can recognize their handwriting quickly. They thought of a few more ideas before getting frustrated and plopping down onto the air mattress that seemed to creek under their weight.

As Sloane rested on the bed with their eyes closed and idea hit them suddenly. A great idea in which they knew Y/n would have no idea in what it meant. They could give her crystals and rocks they find in the caves on any of their excavations. They had their own small collection of keepsakes but they wouldn’t mind giving her some. They stood up and grabbed their box where they kept all their keepsakes and looked over each one.

“Rose Quartz? Nah too cliché. Moonstone? Nah she wouldn’t like that either…” Sloane mumbled to themselves as they searched over each crystal they’ve kept there. Soon after they held one in their hand which they hadn’t done research on before. It was a rose red and still had its sharper square crystal corners. They searched up the description and sure enough it was called Rhodochrosite.

Upon more research it was used to stimulate love and passion in the soul. Sloane thought about it over and decided this was the perfect one. But they couldn’t give it to her in this raw form. They wanted it to be smooth like a pebble in the photos. So they spent some of the night fixing this gemstone until it was exactly how they wanted it. They packaged it up with this tissue paper and with a leftover gift box they placed it inside. It wasn’t brand new but it would have to do.

The next morning Sloane awake promptly at 10 AM. They were out to look for Y/n. Once they found her they tried to keep composure as they handed her the gift. They didn’t say much as they just stuck out the gift box to her as to say here take it.

“Uh..thanks?” Y/n said confused with how they suddenly gave her a gift. It wasn’t her birthday or anything so seeing this was surprising to say the least. Sloane tried to hide how embarrassed they looked as she opened the lid of the gift box. She seen a smooth stone in a deeper red color. She picked it up holding it within her hand.

“Sloane this is beautiful, where did you get it?” She asked looking at them and seeing how they had their cheeks a soft red color. It could be the heat. “I made it.” They said simply trying not to stutter. “It’s a gemstone right?” She asked trying to use her own basis of knowledge she learned from them. “Yeah, I thought you would..like it.”

From then on Sloane had been giving Y/n different gemstones in different shapes and sizes. Some ranging from a smooth round pebble to the raw stone itself. This went on for the next couple of weeks. And Y/n didn’t think anything of it. She found it sweet that Sloane was giving them gemstones they found.

However as time passed Sloane got more frustrated with how Y/n wasn’t understanding. They pondered over if they should just tell her or not. Everything in their body was telling them not to do it. But they couldn’t resist it. Everyday was like torture to them. Seeing her smile and laugh, feeling her soft skin when they hugged them. They suffered. They wanted no more than to just kiss her or do anything to make her feel like she’s on top of the world.

Eventually they mustered up the courage to try and tell her. One day they got up and texted her asking if they could hang out. She replied right away pretty quickly. And here they were, waiting slightly dressed up with flowers in hand. They had a small ponytail in the back of their head. Hoping they looked good.

But when they saw her it was like time stopped. They almost couldn’t believe they were going to ask her out. As she walked closer they tried to straighten themselves up and be strong. “Sloane what’s the occasion? You’re all dressed up.” She said looking at their outfit. Their button up was ironed as best as possible and they had black slacks on. They didn’t want to look too dressed up.

“I-I just..I love you!” They said before quickly covering their mouth. They didn’t mean to say it that quickly. They had an entire heartfelt confession and it was just thrown out the window because they messed up. “W-wait no that’s not what I-“ They stopped talking when they heard Y/n laughing. Was she laughing at them? They blushed darker and looked a little upset.

“Hey I’m trying my hardest! It’s not funny!” They grumbled as they averted their eyes from her. But after she stopped laughing and gently cupped their face. She used to be taller than them when they were younger but all the sudden Sloane grew up. “I’m surprised you didn’t catch on earlier. That’s why it’s so funny.” Hearing that they were confused. What did she mean catch on earlier?

“What?” Sloane asked looking a little lost. “I’m surprised you haven’t noticed how I felt for you. I’ve always felt some kind of way. I guess it could be love.” It wasn’t that she guessed she was sure. Though she tried to ignore it. And the more she did the more she felt for them. It was like a never ending cycle.

Sloane thought it was some sick joke. Was she telling the absolute truth? They couldn’t believe it until they thought back on every interaction. She always used to look at them a little longer, or even touch them for longer than she was supposed to. Then they wrapped their arms around her and squeezed her in a bear hug.

“So we’re like dating now?” They asked letting her go after a few seconds. “No you have to actually ask me silly.” Oh right. Sloane cleared their throat and held both of her hands. They wanted this to be dramatic but sweet at the same time. Sloane looked into Y/n’s eyes and took a breath. “Y/n I wanted to ask if…you would be my girlfriend? Or if I could be your partner?” They said proud of themselves for not stuttering.

Y/n melted because of how sweet it was. She nodded with a grin on her face. “Of course Sloane.” She said before kissing their forehead. Later on that night as Sloane laid in bed they looked over the meaning of the first stone they had given her. And for a second it seemed that it was true. Or maybe it could have been a placebo. Whatever it was they felt like a weight had been removed from their shoulders. And now that they got their feelings out that’s all that mattered.

Another banger out!!! Eventually I’ll put out a smut with cowpoke venture or maybe I’ll put out a smut with ice cream venture (I brought the skin I couldn’t resist) Any second opinion is welcomed for the next one^^

[sleepyfan-blog]

Ruin

Author’s Note: Deimos part three! I hope you enjoy :D first. Previous

Tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams @bleedingichorhearts @the-pure-angel@whorety-k 

Warnings: threatening, blackmail, Alpha Legion Shenanigans

Summary: Deimos speaks to one of the human representatives during the negotiations. He gets what he wants. 

Deimos had been watching the negotiations between some of the leaders of the most powerful Astartes pods speaking with representatives of the human countries of Terra for the past several days. At the end of each day. Deimos would send coded information as to how things had been going to his handler, and waiting to see if his instructions would change based on the information that he had gathered.

He also spent time pretend-obliviously making one of the human representatives squirm and sweat each time they saw the face or heard the voice of the Blood Angel Sergeant he was pretending to be, as Representative Pearson was part of a least two different human organizations who had successfully captured different Astartes in order to dissect and experiment upon them… And because the sergeant he was pretending to be had recently been captured by one of Pearson’s groups using information that the human had himself given them. 

The Alpha Legion had been content to let their cousins flounder in confusion as to what was happening to some of their legions/chapters. If they weren’t aware enough of the dangers that baseline humanity could be to them, that wasn’t their problem… That had been until one of these groups had captured a hybrid hydra pup, the first Alpha legionnaire born on Ancient Terra to a converted human mate and stolen a week ago.

That was the last mistake any of these groups would make, not that those who were outside of those facilities were aware of the storm that had swallowed most of their resources in righteous fury. All captive astartes were being tended to by Alpha Legion Apothecaries and would be released after the conclusion of these negotiations. Deimos glided gracefully after Representative Pearson, who had finally worked up the courage to ask for a private meeting between himself and the baseline human.

“What is it that you wanted to speak with me about?” Deimos asked, using the lilting tones of the Blood Angel he was pretending to be, amused at the way that the baseline human froze, blinking off the siren-like qualities a moment later.

“You are an imposter. You should leave quietly, or I will escalate the matter to security.” Pearson accused, pointing his finger dramatically at Deimos.

The Alpha Legionnaire almost broke character and started to cackle. If this was the way that Pearson wanted to play things, Deimos was happy to indulge him. “And just why do you think I am an imposter? What proof could you possibly have?”

“Because I received a report earlier this week about a mer matching  your precise description being badly injured and brought to a medical facility for treatment. I have heard of the incredible healing factors you astartes possess, but the injuries that Astartes had suffered could not have healed as fully as you appear to be in such short period of time. Which means you are an imposter and should leave these negotiations.” Pearson explained, radiating smug satisfaction.

Deimos’ couldn’t help the small, fanged grin that appeared on his face as he purred “And?”

“And if you do not leave immediately I will alert security as to you being here under false circumstances and -” The baseline human blustered.

Deimos interrupted Pearson’s rant with a laugh “What makes you think that I have no right to be here? Especially since you were the one to leak the battle brother’s whose face I am borrowing’s location to the butchers and kidnappers who tormented him… Ah, but he is no longer in their grasp. None of the astartes that the little groups you work with are still captive. My brothers have rescued them all. Your little groups of maniacs fear that we astartes will try and take dominance of this world from you. Because of our strength and our abilities. But you're wrong. If we wanted dominion over this world we would have it already and none of the weapons nor all your military might would be enough to stop us.”

“I.. You accuse me of-” Pearson started, huffing up in indignation and distilled terror.

The Alpha legionnaire interrupted the baseline human again as he pulled out a series of pictures proving that Person was knowingly and willingly involved several of the Astartes kidnapping groups, setting them down on the table between them as he spoke “Drop the pretenses. I have more evidence of your crimes and wrongdoing on me, and there are copies in case you attempt to destroy this evidence.” Deimos was one piece of the Hydra. His legion worked in the shadows and gathered information. They knew all and saw all. “Step down from your position now, and publicly resign in front of the press at this event and explain your crimes and your true loyalties… If you refuse I’ll tell the World Eater and Black Templar representatives who you truly work with.”

“... If you do that, those blood-thirsty monster swill try-” The human protested.

“Will kill you for your crimes. Of course. That would be a mercy. Some of the pods represented here would make your death a long and agonizing spectacle. World Eaters and Black Templars both tend to make their kills swift.” Deimos rumbled, cutting off the human yet again and smirking down at him.

“How dare you threaten and attempt to blackmail me like this? Photos like this can be altered to seem incriminating!” Pearson blustered, fear and fury radiating off of him in waves.

“There are ways to check for tampering. Besides, these photos are the least of the proof I have for your crimes. Do as I say, or you will die by the end of this day. This is not a threat but a promise. Besides, you won’t be the only wretched mortal to die for your crimes today if you refuse to step down.” Deimos hummed, pulling out a small laptop, opening the video conference software and calling out “Alpharius, I have the human representative with me.”

“Well done Alpharius.” His captain praised, swimming into frame with two of the other leaders of the organizations being dragged into frame with him. Behind the older Alpha Legionnaire were dozens of gagged and bound hand to foot humans, all members of the kidnapping organizations in the room the captain was in. “You see, we have many of those involved in the kidnappings who still yet live. You have a simple choice, Representative Pearson. Confess your crime sin front of the cameras and our fellow astartes, and submit yourself for judgment…. Or you and all of the humans here will die.”

“I… You… How… How have you done this?” Pearson asks, helpless rage and terror wafting off of him in waves.

“We are Alpharius. We are the Hydra at the heart of everything. No detail is too small to escape our grasp. Our eyes see all, as our ears hear all. If we wanted to control this world, we’d have it already. So,  representative, what is your choice?” The captain purred, smirking.

“I… I’ll…” Pearson swallows, staring at the other humans bound and at the mercy of astartes. He hangs his head and growls out “I’ll do as you’ve demanded of me, you bastards. Damn you all to hell!”

“Been there. Got bored. Came back.” Deimos cooed, smirking. “No time like the present, let’s go. Be seeing you, captain Alpharius.” with that he shut the laptop and placed it in a pouch before scruffing the unhappy human by the collar and dragging him bodily out of the chair, swimming out of the room and over to where the press were gathered. He knew that the other Astartes would be able to hear Pearson’s confession… This was going to be fun.

~

Five minutes later found Pearson standing on his own two feet, Deimos staying just close enough to encourage the human to speak without tipping off the press of just what the human was going to confess to.

“I… have… I have a confession to make. I have been working with a secret group of scientists, doctors and hunters to capture and study Astartes. I am well aware of the fact that these kidnappings have made Human-Astartes relations worse the world over… The organization’s goals were to assess the threat posed by Astartes, as well as to try and figure out the keys to their longevity and high healing factor. To be able to synthesize either of those abilities for humanity to use. We also hoped to be able to take apart Astartes’ technology and reverse engineer it for profit.” Pearson confessed, having hid his hands behind his back, to hide the way they trembled “I have realized now that this was wrong, and am stepping down from my position as representative, and submit myself to the justice system of my home country.”

Deimos had expected that Pearson would try to pull something like that. It was almost cute that he thought he was living past this next hour as a free person, and that he would be allowed to be tried by one of the human legal systems. Already the Alpha legionnaire could hear furious shouting from loyalists, chaos and renegade astartes. He could smell their rapid approach to this conference room, the scent of their fury and determination heavy in the air as they barrelled into the room.

All of them stopped dead, seeing Deimos in the guise of a Blood Angel as he stood directly behind the violently shaking and terrified human. Before any of them could try and demand something he said on external vox “As Pearson has wronged the Astartes more, his request for being tried by humanity is rejected. I will be taking him to where he will be tried and punished for his crimes.”

The assembled humans burst into dozens and dozens of loud statements and noises, each desperately trying to get his or the other astartes attention. Not that Deimos was actively listening to what they were saying, just making sure that they weren’t trying to get close enough to grab Pearson and attempt to get away from him.

He waited a beat before broadcasting his voice to the voxes of his fellow astartes alone, his eyes deliberately flashing teal as he purred “Hydra Dominatus.” Before he scooped up Pearson and swum off at his top speed, cackling to himself as the human in his arms whimpered and shook.

[alluringnectar]

Timeless

abby anderson x fem!reader

a/n: srry ts might b a lil short lol, kinda rushed

summary: you go on a patrol with abby

warnings: sfw, slow burn, js kinda angst, not rlly tho

pt. 1 , pt. 2

it’s 5:45 in the morning.

the sky is still dark, you can hear the hums of cicadas and the hoots of owls.

you’re in the back of a W.L.F. truck, holding double barreled shot gun. infront of your view is alice and abby. even though its pitch black out, her features illuminate like the moon; at that point moths would even be attracted.

you didn’t realize you were even bouncing your leg until abby held your leg.

“nervous?” she asked, chuckling. “yeah, it’s my first patrol since i ever got promoted” you shyly admitted, “i’m scared im gonna fuck things up.” abby listened to you intently, finding comfort in your pure honesty. “everyone fucks up once in every while, it doesn’t get easier, just easier to handle.” you smiled, full of teeth, thanking her.

how could this even be the same girl Mel was talking about?

the truck comes to an abrupt halt, signaling it’s time to hop off. Abby, Alice, & you jump off, thanking the W.L.F. driver. “good luck girls!”

as you walk into the abandoned ruins of what was once a beauty thriving city, abby pulls out a map. “there should be a hospital around here somewhere. orders are to clear it and get all supplies.” you nod, following her as she walks to the abandoned hospital.

as you walk in, you feel shivers. you turn to look at abby, but she has a sad look on her eyes, like a sad puppy dog.

you hear barks, that takes you out of your thoughts. both abby and you flinched.

alice is barking at this door, abby and you budge it open.

then out of no where, a stalker jumps you. before you can take out your pistol, abby grabs a shiv and stabs it in the throat.

it lays there, blood seeping out.

“are you okay?” abby asks you, “yes, im fine thank you.” abby offers her hand and you take her in.

both you and abby look around the room.

its a chapel.

“ it’s pretty, isn’t it?” you say to abby as you admire the alter, the benches that once had many families praying for patients to get better. abby hums, and she asks, “do you believe in God?” you tell her, “I believe in God, i just dont know if he believes in me.” abby looks at you, “what do you mean?” “i believe he is real when i see fawns and their mothers taking care of eachother. i believe he is real when i see the sun taking care of the plants as the sunrays reach them. i feel like God doesn’t believe me when i see the sufferings of this world, when i lose the people i love, or i see the once humans so alive, laughing, crying, and other emotions trapped in all the fungus.” abby looks at you, intently staring and picking up at every feature.

“do you?” you ask, snapping abby out of her trance. “do i what?” abby asks. “believe in God?” abby sighs , “if God was real, maybe he wouldn’t have taken away my farther.” your heart hurts for her, and you embrace her, letting her know shes not alone. she returns it, holding you tight

you feel a sharp pain the back of your shin, causing you to hiss. “whats wrong?” abby asks you worryingly. you pull up your pants and replied “glass must’ve cut me with that stalker was on me.” “i don’t know how i didn’t feel it, must’ve been the adrenaline” you joke, causing abby to laugh.

“sit down, ill get you treated” abby says.

she wraps your leg and puts anti infection cream all over as she cleaned the wound.

“how do you know how to do all this?”

“my dad was a doctor, i only learned from the best.”

“your father was blessed to have you.”

“he would’ve liked you.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.”

“let’s report back to base, we have supplies now anyways.”

you learned her farther name was Jerry.

as abby, alice, and you go back to base, alice is put into her kennel.

“see you soon alice!!” you both yell.

abby and you report your findings to other W.L.F. members then abby takes you to the infirmary because she swears it’s necessary.

and she isn’t wrong because Nora is telling you with an injury that severe you need to stay home and supervised.

abby volunteers, and now she’s next to you on the couch, with you falling asleep on her shoulder.

she could get used to this view.

[v1naco]

Okay hear me out

Simon Riley x reader but Venom AU.

Like Simon did go into the military but he left a couple years after when (I know this is not canon cause I love his family too much and my baby deserves happiness) his family gets attacked. They’re still alive (besides his father cause fuck that dude) but they got seriously injured.

The attack left him hurt mentally a lot and having to help them heal when he was struggling with his own things made it all worse. So when he went on a night walk he somehow comes across Venom and they bond(?I don’t know how to put it?).

Fast forward years later when his family is a lot better health wise, he uses catching bad guys and letting Venom eat most of them to blow off excess steam and as his therapy. He is out doing his regular shit eating bad guys and he comes across you getting robbed.

You just had a horrible day at work and just wanted to go home and sleep but this guy just had to choose you, a young woman a lone with her earbud(s) in and a backpack on her back walking past the opening of an alleyway at like 11pm.

You were too tired and smart to fight and decided to give the man what he wanted, money, but you only had $3.34 on you from tips and change. The man was pissed, but what is a woman in her last year of college supposed to have, a centurion card (Black Card)? You were living off of hard hours working in the restaurant industry and the scholarships you got to not go in dept after you graduate, even now. You were even an RA but tuition is still pricy.

Simon saw the squabble and knew you just needed some help, since the man just pulled a knife out, and you looked like you could just lay on the floor and sleep the next week away.

Simon (actually Venom) lands on the ground and politely, to the best of his abilities which is none, tells the man to hand back you your money and to walk away. The man argued saying he deserved it, you just wanted to walk away but as Venom took his first step out into the light the man grabs your arm and puts the knife to your neck.

Now you were not only pissed but scared, pissed that if this man slits your throat or puts you in the hospital it can ruin your chance at graduating, and after all those gruesome years of pain and suffering you did not want to redo a whole year. Scared because who wouldn’t be scared of a knife to your neck and the guy holding it looks like his off his rocker.

When you turned your head towards Simon, not only did he see the fear and anger in your eyes but he saw how beautiful you were, even as he could see the light sheen of sweat on you, your dirty hair, and the prominent eye bags you were carrying around, but he would call those bags gucci with how beautiful you looked still with no make up and the bad situation you got unlucky with.

When you saw him your eyes widened. Apparently the man had gotten more scared than you seeing the big black and dark gray mass. Shaped with a human complexion of a body but the head was obviously alien.

The man shoved the knife’s dull blade into your neck enough to draw a small line of blood. Though he didn’t get far enough to cut you deeper since Venom shot a tendril out and grabbed the mans arm. The man dropped the knife due to the pain radiating from his arm. Venom asked (really he threatened) the man to hand you back what he stole from you and he threw insults, calling you all sorts of names you wished to never be called by anyone.

Simon, and especially Venom, was in a happier mood today and would have let that man go with a very distinct warning, but those insults thrown at you slammed that “good day” door right on their faces. Simon believed that no words such as the ones he spoke, should be heard by your pretty ears, those pretty ears with all those pretty jewelry on every inch of them, dangling and reflecting the street and store lights off of the jewels.

Simon didn’t wish for you to see this next part but Venom liked your ear piercings and tattoos and was getting very cranky and wished to take a bite of that man’s head. Simon couldn’t stop Venom in time and the next thing you notice is the blood and the top part of the man’s cervical vertebrae sticking out.

You were a wide eyed doe right then and there. With your hand on your mouth not trying to breath anything around you in. Venom then turns and asks if you’re alright. He was sorry you had to see it, you just nodded and continued to look at the body, slowly and weirdly getting used to it the more you stared at it. You believe you should take a break from all those movies and shows that has a lot of gore in it, believing that your reaction to this situation is not normal.

With how you reacted, and noticing you not shaking much at all anymore, Venom strikes up a conversation with you, much to Simon’s protest. He noticed the accent and figures out that you are not originally from the area, definitely from a different country. As seconds pass, Venom and Simon like you more and more. Asking to walk you home to make sure you are okay, Venom changes back to Simon and he walks you home. You’re much too surprised and still very much so tired and don’t try to fight him on his request to walk you home. But you enjoy the silence between you both, it was calming and you didn’t need to listen to music to fill that silence for once.

When he reached your home he wished you a safe and well night. You stop him real quickly, asking if you could do anything for him to repay him for helping you. He said he didn’t need anything from you. Just as he was turning to walk away you ask to at least cook him a mean sometime, him AND Venom of course, remembering that Venom said that that man’s head was not tasty and he was still hungry.

Simon did not wish to bring you into his pain filled life, but he wished to be selfish for once for his own happiness and with that Simon agrees. He walks away with one lesser bad guy on the streets and with a new number in his contacts, ready to set up a dinner with the woman he knew would later marry.

Anyway thats my little thought of a Simon Riley Venom AU. I did’t specify an age of the reader cause people are different ages during their college/university years and some people go to school for more than the regular 2-4 years. But I was thinking Simon would be about around 25 while the reader is around 22/23 but can be older, maybe even 21 if you want her to be, but nothing under cause those specific age gaps weird me out.

I also did not specify his and her appearance or what she wears bc I don’t really care but if I did I would say more so jeans, converse, and t-shirt with maybe a zip up type style. I do love a girly with many piercings and tattoos though so I wanted to put it in there.

Anyway…sorry Im a d1 yapper😔. I just thought a simon+venom au would be perfect and he would fit the role of Eddie so well. Especially with the motorcycle ugh creaming rn😩. Ehem. Do with this how you want but I do hope that if you do use this please tag me. Maybe give me credits for this idea since I have not found anything like this anywhere if you want. But yeah if someone writes this PLEASE TAG ME. I write for shit so I definitely am not.

[g-on-ef]

Sneak preview to Goddess of Loneliness

As promised here's a sneak preview of Goddess of Loneliness

I hope you like these sneak previews it'll be random and have a look of what's to come ^^ also it's all happy moments can't show you guys the angst yet ^^

Maya smiled as Vaughn grabbed her hand and lead her inside the building.

"You got me a private concert?"

Vaughn turned and smiled at his beautiful girlfriend.

"Of course I did Beautiful, you deserve good things and I'm lucky to be one of them,"

Maya blushed as Vaughn lead her into the concert hall were BTS and Taylor Swift awaited her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Maya smiled as she ran to Brandon King, her one and only friend.

"I'm so happy to see you Maya,"

"I am too,"

They pulled back and she looked down and saw a little girl clinging to Brans pants.

"Oh, who's this,"

"Oh, Maya meet your niece, Azaliya,"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You hurt our family Maya!" Mia shouted at her sister, Maya glared at her screw it she was done with Mia and her hypocritical ass.

"You're right Mia I hurt you and I fucked up but you? You hurt our family as well,"

"What-"

"You're fucking the guy who kidnapped our brother and was responsible for getting him in the hospital, you're fucking the guy who set the Heathens mansion on fire with the intent to kill our cousins, our brother, and your friends you're fucking the guy who wanted to kill our cousin who's your best friend because he was dating his little sister!"

Maya glared at Mia and than at her mother,

"If I'm an awful person for hidding something for so long-let's ignore the fact I was a fucking child! What does that make Mia mom what would you call you're precious daughter who despite knowing all the shit her fiancee has done still decided to get in bed with him and date him! And let's also not forget how when our brother dearest tried to get back at him your precious daughter decided to attack and make him feel bad about it,"

She glared at Mia.

"You say I ruined our family with my jealousy but what have you been doing to our brother Mia? Niko won't say anything because of Bran and I get it I do because I love Bran as well but unlike Niko I'll say the quiet part out loud I ruined you by being quiet but unlike I didn't have a choice unlike you Mia I was afraid to speak in fear of getting killed you on the other hand chose to sleep with Landon and hurt our brother you chose to be with Landon because you are a selfish person who would rather let everyone around her suffer!"

She glared at Mia and at her mother.

"It took me to long to realize this but deep down Mia you're no different than me, you claim to be no different from girls like me when in reality you are nothing but a liar, a fake; you always promise but fail to deliver because deep down you know Mia, you know you're just as fucked up as I am and if given the chance you'd stab your family in the back without hesitation...oh wait you already do that every night you sleep with the punk that almost killed our brother!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Welp here it is ^^ I hope you guys like these little moments we are two screenshots away from getting updates from the heart was build to break and born sinner as well as to kidnap a lotus flower ^^ remember keep streaming right place wrong person and send me those screenshots ^^

[sephospaganplace]

YOU ARE NOT UNWORTHY JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE SUFFERED. ALL THINGS CAPABLE OF LOVE HAVE SUFFERED. THE GODS HAVE SUFFERED.

THE MOST HOLY SITES IN THE WORLD ARE RUINS.

[medicalunprofessional]

never change, man !

[literallyjusttoa]

Left this abandoned in the drafts (which is a bit ironic) but it's a spin on this post, where instead of Apollo just being locked in some room on Olympus somewhere, he's bound to the ruins of an abandoned Ancient Greek city. Maybe somewhere near Delphi, maybe Troy, idk.

[martyrbat]

for when dc releases a new comic that mischaracterizes him again AND the humiliating ordeal of telling ppl that arent your mutuals that bruce fucking wayne aka mr cashcow is your favorite character

[spaceagebachelorstan]

seen a lot of people saying that episode 13 is a spider episode, but am i the only one who sees it as a desolation episode? idk it’s just the cycle of the finance bro clawing his way up to ultimate fortune by losing everything else, and at the end of it all he doesn’t even get to keep his riches. he literally has nothing by the end of it, he’s burned every bridge, alienated himself from his friends and parents and completely fucked up his health. all that suffering just for one terrible loss, he got a taste of the top and it was stolen from him right at the finish line. life metaphorically going up into flames.

[musical-chick-13]

HELLO GOOD EVENING, today I am losing my mind over The Wedding Episode, specifically over "You are forgiven, always and completely forgiven," like not only do I forgive you for whatever you've done, I will forgive you for ANYTHING YOU WILL EVER DO, EVEN IF I'M NOT THERE FOR IT.