#you are so fucking funny

[ultranerdygirl]

Someone at my local animal control is clearly a Critical Role/Vox Machina fan because already there were two dogs posted for adoption named Grog and Pike, and now today they posted another dog whose name is Whitestone.

[okwonyo]

omfg i thought ijbol was some korean slang 💀💀💀

HELP MEEEE

[autodiscipline]

Guniw Tools Q-it! Question & Profile (Eng. translation)

This is a Q&A style interview with Guniw Tools from 1997, when the band consisted of Full, Jake, & Asaki. There's 37 questions in total. Part 2 is under the cut!!

Part 1

Before you read: everything in (parentheses) is there because they wrote it, any footnotes are *asterisked & italicized

19.   Specialty recipe? Full: Sweets Jake: Omurice. Asaki: Filtering water 20.   What do you want from your fans? Full: I don’t want anything from them, be quiet. Jake: Leave me be won't you *unsure if referring to question asker or the fans o.o Asaki: ––––– 21.   What do you want from the staff? (Office & recording companies) Full: Let me go back to Sapporo more often Jake: Treat me gently.. Asaki: Ｃ’ｍｏｎ　ｂａｂｙ！* *For some reason Asaki started answering in English LOL, I’ll format every English answer as such 22.   What do you want from a photographer? Full: Let’s do without automatic shutter! (I mean continuous/consecutive shutter) Make every picture count! Jake: Take beautiful pictures ok? Asaki: Ｔｈａｔ’ｓ　ｒｉｇｈｔ！ 23.   What do you want from writers? Full: Go listen to at least one song (especially the popular ones). Don’t ask me where the band’s name came from anymore. Don’t write “This is off the record”.. Jake: Please don’t hurt me.. Asaki: Ｙｅａｈ　ｃｏｏｌ！ 24.   What do you want from your editors? Full: What do you mean? I’m doing it. Jake: Look at things in the long term Asaki: Ｆｕｃｋｉｎ’　ｇｏｏｄ！ 25.   Do you support any baseball teams? Full: Hokkai high school baseball division (don’t let the heat get to you!) Jake: Apache* *baseball manga & anime Asaki: Hokkai bears (is that a thing?) 26.   Your different hairstyles, & reasons why? Full: Spraying & mussing it around, but I always wear a hat anyway. Jake: When I get tired of it, I cut it myself. Asaki: It’s because your Hitomi is too beautiful*… but really, it’s just however I feel. *He is using a cutesy & feminine way of speaking, using a version of “your” that is most commonly used by young girls speaking of young men, jokingly referring to himself as ‘your beautiful girl’ 27.   Have you ever cried at a show? If so, when & why? Full: Never Jake: When I got something in my eye Asaki: It’s because your love reaches & captivates my heart*… really, that’s the truth ok~? *still speaking like a girl lololl, this way of saying heart is feminine & emotional, it’s hard to explain but it's got the unspoken vibe of saying ‘my heart (which resides under my ample bosom)’ LOL

28.   You randomly receive an extra 100 million yen, how do you use it? Full: Build a computer & small steel factory note: what a visionary Jake: Wipe my tears. Waver & fall. Wash my feet from the path of evil. Buy a box lunch from a convenience store. Exchange small change & suffer from poverty. Asaki: Become a gizen* person! Naturally, I’ll become a gizen man!! I’ll be happy to help you out! *gizen is when you do good things simply for the sake of looking good, it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but synonymous with hypocritical, a wolf in a sheep's clothing 29.   What is your ideal type? e.g. an idol Full: Sayuri Ishikawa & Ayumi Ishida at the time of their debut, people with fine arms (& waist) Jake: Asuka from Neon Genesis Evangelion note: ... Asaki: Speaking of idols, Billy Idol - mobile suit type* *may be referring to the video for ‘Shock to the System’ Billy Idol is a cyborg 30. Habits? Full: If I see even the slightest sign that someone thinks of me, “What an obnoxious person!” I’ll respond & treat you as if you’ve done something wrong. Jake: Squashes bugs note: D: Asaki: Hello, I’m Hiroshi Kuse. ~from the news station~* *lolidk I think it’s another pun that only works in Japanese.. 31.   Something you definitely never want to do? Full: Surf… Jake: Doing something I don’t want to do Asaki: Topé* *Wrestling move where you lunge from the inside the ring headfirst through to ropes to attack someone 32.   What is something you want to do for your fans? Full: It depends on the fan. Or rather, it depends on the person, but I’ll treat them the same as I treat every other human being. Jake: Hand out box lunches Asaki: –––––– (Unknown/ambiguous) 33.   If you were to act in a movie, what role would you play? Full: As long as it’s a tricky character*, any character is fine. *unpredictable, clever, eccentric Jake: Kaworu Nagisa (Neon Genesis Evangelion) Asaki: A guy who breakdances by a lake while listening to Julio Iglesias 34.   How do you deal with groupies that chase? Full: I deliberately act crazier than the fan, & then I’ll pet them with affection* *Or could be saying he goes to an even more crazy fan & deliberately gives affection, unsure Jake: Insist “It’s not me!" Asaki: Getting off to a Ben Johnson-esque* rocket start *Olympic runner, held the title ‘worlds fastest man’ 35.   Typical post-live show meal? Full: Nothing in particular Jake: Gyoza & vinegar, eaten together Asaki: First, beer. 36.   Things that you’re happy to get thrown on stage? Full: Super Sculpey* and maybe a pretty girl.. *Clay, Full makes figures & art with Jake: Navona* *Snack cake that comes in different flavors Asaki: American jokes (the witty kind) 37.   In addition to your current stage, what other items or equipment would be useful to have on hand? Full: TV monitor (to check yourself) Jake: Jumping shoes Asaki: A shot bar, 10 powerful older sisters, and also swing jazz… it’s getting kind of ridiculous to write this..

You can see the rest of the photoshoot here & here

Feel free to share/repost as you wish, I'd like for their work to be as accessible as possible!

[carnivorouswillgraham]

hi gongeous

so let me guess...

Borderline personality disorder?

KSJDLDHFAJJDHE

maybeeee

[salomasretired]

I don’t fuck with ideals of who is a better person than who very often anymore I have grown past the desperation of narcissism personally. etc. but like frankly I am SOOOOO much better than people who believe in shit like good vs bad people LOOOOOL. THAT ISNT REAL HOE!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[sadclowncentral]

nearly had a medical emergency today because - and i cannot stress enough how little i am making this up - a helicopter landed in front of an open grain silo while i was getting off my ship and i am deathly allergic to the wheat that said helicopters rotor blades proceeded to blast in my face at full force. the cosmic forces are plotting against me ass situation to be in

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

[venator-signum]

the pjo fandom on tumblr vs tiktok is so funny cause we've all (or most of us) have already read the entire series, we know what's going to happen so we can see the parallels and the tragedy behind it but on tiktok???

they're in love with Luke

they think he's so kind and nice and its wonderful he's percy's friend, there's no way that he'd be evil - I've seen theories that annabeth is going to be the one who betrays percy (prior to ep4)

the tonal shift is insane and I can't wait to see all these first time viewers lose their fucking minds

[artkaninchenbau]

Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)

It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.

Bonus:

[liquidstar]

Yes, Greece still exists, we didn't all die 2000 years ago. Yes, people speak Greek. You people are so fucking stupid for real. So many of you claim to love ancient shit but can't even acknowledge the actual living culture of the people whose mythology and classics you romanticize. You keep leaving annoying comments about how you just forget Greek people still exist, thinking you're being quirky because you love ancient stuff soooo much that you forgot about the people it came from. You think about it so little you don't even realize that an actual Greek person has to read this shit, making it clear how little you actually care about the culture beyond the romanticized (and westernized) mythology. Don't claim you love Greece, don't use our mythology anymore if you can't acknowledge that we're still around without making it about how little you think about us. It's mind boggling that you'd think a Greek person would read this and think you're anything but obnoxious. Explode.

[madscientistenthusiast]

Personally I think that Azula should have been redeemed simply so that she can become Zuko's horrible little advisor who whispers evil little plans to him so that he can do the exact opposite

[time-woods]

guy doesnt know what pins n needles are

( part1-2/? ?)

(start) (<next part>)

[mejkosmos]

so funny how the whole gravity falls fandom immediately went from "bill cipher-all interdimensional being hot tumblr sexy man" to "bill cipher- lame loser pathetic fumbler toxic skrunkly sad ex" in a matter of seconds as SOON as the rise of billford came about

[cozylittleartblog]

@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you

edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally

[saragrosie]

Sketching while streaming s5...

Jonathan Sims I will learn to draw you (this is my doing. I could draw him however I want and I choose to stick with an image of him in my brain that is difficult for me to draw. Masochism.)

Not s5 Mahtins below I enjoyed drawing cuz hes neat:

(Edit: I yassified Martin in the do not separate cuz I wanted his hair fluffier)

[clownowo]

been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading