#you cannot. understand. how deep the madness goes

[dailyoyo]

hi again dailyoyo (mostly directed at mod noname) i have 2 question

1) would you ever be up to making a jsr/yoyo tidbits blog or post someday? you find a lot of 'hidden' jsr stuff and i think a masterpost to links and images or something if you're up to it would be really nice

2) WHERE the fuck does yoyo come from like what do you think whats your general consensus. does he have a family. is he not an earthling. why is he here??? is he homeless??? does he avtually have a lovintg family and became a gang member for shits and giggles??? why???

if i made a second blog it would die probably. also i wouldnt really say i find "hidden" jsr stuff per se, almost everything i know about is either just from the games or other sources linked/mentioned on the wiki! i don't Find this shit i just overthink it and peel it apart with my teethhhhh. @dedtoot would probably be a better person to ask abt niche jsr oddities i think esp cuz iirc they own the wiki? IDK WHAT ELSE TO REC SORRY

oh god this is gonna get long i think. you opened the fucking can of worms YOU HAVE NO IDEA ok so there's two things about this. the first is that like. i tend to think of pretty much All the ggs (excluding roboy on account of hes a straight up robot) as like. Just Guys. just mundane homeless outcast or runaway kids who are doing whatever the fuck. iirc in Paradox we hc'd Soda (and maybe Boogie i dont remember?) as having homes and jobs but barely being able to keep up with them, and Cube and Combo and Coin HAD a shared apartment deal but Coin's dead and Cube and Combo are in japan now, and i think we said Mew has a home and family that's just REALLY hands-off, but like aside from that they all kind of just Live at the garage. the second thing is that me and pseud keep backstory headcanoning to a low level, because whatever like. You don't end up as a homeless street teenager for fun reasons. in our interps like despite the more fantastical elements of the setting, these are all traumatized youth who ran from stark, brutal, mundane problems that we don't especially prefer to puzzle out and examine too much in this particular fandom. (paradox!Beat gets more backstory than everyone else because of plot relevance (beig gouji's kid) though. rip lmao) this even extends to an in-universe extent of the ggs kind of being like. "We dont ask each other about our backstories. If someone wants to volunteer that information they can but otherwise IT IS NOT OUR BUSINESS" which brings us to our headcanons about yoyo. paradox!yoyo on top of whats been said prior is also an intentionally "mysterious" individual. he's also fucked up in the head in ways that are genuinely concerning. he treats the idea of him having a past as a joke - he will make shit up, he will feed you 20 different fake backstories. sometimes they'll be obvious jokes, sometimes he'll say something really horrible to make you feel sorry. and if you mention something ACTUALLY from his past, he will either deny that ever happened or say you're thinking of someone else entirely. there are a few things we HAVE overtly established about paradox!yoyo's life before the GGs: - he's probably been in tokyo-to his whole life. he's been around most of the city (often scamming people lmao) - he has been homeless since he was 12, though we do not know WHY - he is transgender, but he may not have called himself that until the GGs, and we do not know WHEN he started presenting as male or why. - "yoyo" is just one in a LONG line of pseudonyms and false identities he has made up for the sake of convenience. he refuses to claim any of these past names as having been him and has even figured he'll just stop being "yoyo" and be someone else if things don't work out with the ggs. - he's dissociative as shit so HE might not even remember his backstory so like. we don't know where yoyo came from in our hcs. we don't know what his life was. that said? it was probably very bad. a happy and healthy childhood does not turn you into someone who believes they're a hollow shell playing pretend at personhood in a neverending social game of chess that you can only win by cheating. At the age of 16. SORRY IF YOU WERE HOPING FOR SOMETHING GOOFY BTW . i feel this blog really does not let on that me and pseud's idea of fun is doing straight up paranoia agent shit to joke characters. We dont got that #vreepypasta tag for nothing

[senseandaccountability]

the healer has the bloodiest hands

I wrote some thoughts after the finale of Veilguard. Solavellan heavy.

This is just me, parsing through some feelings. "My people had a saying long ago -'The healer has the bloodiest hands'. You cannot treat a wound without knowing how deep it goes. You cannot heal pain by hiding it. You must accept. Accept the blood to make things better."  Solas to Thom Rainer in DAI.  ***

One can wonder, of course, what Mythal has to do with a Solavellan reunion and Solas’s choice to become the Veil’s protector, but hear me out. 

It is significant that it’s Mythal because she is the embodiment of his terrible past, the epitome of their brilliance and boldness and good intentions turned to terrible truths. The horrors they did, they did together. It is significant that it’s Mythal that sets him on this new course by removing the chains of his guilt and regret. Lavellan can’t do that, she didn’t forge them. Solas’s journey as the Dread Wolf begins and ends with Mythal. 

Mythal literally pulls Solas out of the Fade to use his wisdom, first to not lose herself to the other gods' vanity and brutality, then to gain advantage against them in an endless power struggle that breaks them both, I’d argue, though most significantly it breaks Solas. Retribution and revenge has no room for understanding, there is no wisdom in conquering. And Solas, for all his faults, isn’t brutal or cruel, doesn’t want power for his own gain. Instead he’s wise and creative, doomed to see the faults of his actions even as he carries them out, arguing in vain that the Evanuris too must see it - don’t cross these lines, don’t do it like this, don’t warp and twist your powers to forces of destruction. You must know this is madness! He objects to the creation of the bodies for the ancient elves, objects his own People’s physical creation. Did the earth not shake? It did, it was horrific and it was wrong and he knows this and it doesn’t matter. What he wants has never been part of the equation. 

Even when he breaks free from Mythal, when he burns her mark off his face, he never stops fighting for the world she once wanted. Because otherwise? Should he stop? Then all that he has done, all that he has given up, all that has been demanded of him both as Mythal’s lapdog and the Dread Wolf, leader of the rebel armies for centuries, cloaked in a persona of strategy and battle orders - all of that has been for nothing. He has made a ruin of himself, of the world, for nothing.  So he begins again, he picks up the pieces, he swears to make it right, to fix what he broke. That’s how he perceives healing, that’s what he thinks he is doing. But you cannot heal pain by hiding it. That’s why the Crossroads are falling apart with the manifestations of Solas’s greatest regrets, that’s why he needs Rook to escape his own prison, that’s why a Regret demon burns through Skyhold.

Solas traps the Evanuris as a final act of the ancient times, the creation of the Veil an embodiment of everything he and Mythal ever were - protection, benevolence, retribution, wisdom, pride. He ties it to the blood of the Firstborn out of spite and anger and it wrecks the world in ways he could not foresee. In ways he cannot fix because you cannot fix what has already happened.

You must accept. Accept the blood to make things better. He holds himself like a broken thing in front of Mythal and you can see it as submissive or as a man finally letting his grief out. There, at long last, he stands beaten and bloodied and blighted and he cries for all that was lost, all that he did and all that was done to him, all the things he cannot, cannot undo. And then: a new way forward.

In willingly binding himself to the Veil he embodies the best of those old myths, the All-Mother and the Breaker of Chains, as he breaks the cycle of punishment and grief and protects the sun and the moon. This oath, as opposed to the oaths of the empire that made him, is not to someone but to everyone, to all the innocents of the world. Instead of being the one who makes the terrible sacrifices of other people - the things I have done - he becomes the protector of the world that his people broke once upon a time. Instead of being the Creator of a new world without the Veil - the god he vehemently does not want to be, that he arguably thinks nobody should be - he becomes a caretaker, a guardian. A healer with bloody hands. And yes, it takes Mythal to break Mythal’s hold over him. You cannot treat a wound without knowing how deep it goes. And this one goes deep.  But it’s Lavellan who brings him the light in this story. It’s Lavellan who breaks through the dark, transforms it into something hopeful. 

His prison construct in the Fade was terrible, an abyss of regret made to hold a god. An ancient punishment for ancient crimes but times change, people change, the People change for better and for worse and here Lavellan stands in all her mortal imperfection, offering him not a way to change the past - where all these ancient beings are stuck - but a way to mend the future. It will be a terrible place, he tells her, saying I am terrible because the Fade shifts around our beings. It won’t be terrible, Lavellan argues. Because I’m there with you, walking the dinan’shiral with you, all the way. He doesn't have to fix anything first, he doesn't have to change for her, he just needs to stop hurting the world, hurting himself. Because she loves him, despite all the terrible mistakes he has made. Because she knows all his names, from Dread Wolf to Vhenan, she knows the power of his mind and the fires of his love and she saw more than most of the man he is. The man he wants to be. For a little slice of time there in Skyhold he was that man, he was seen and he saw. He saw the world filtered through her and could forgive it, he saw her through his own ancient, tired eyes and he fell in love no matter how much he thought he did not deserve it. You don't have to deserve love, or mercy, it doesn't demand anything in return, holds you to no oath. It is a gift, freely given. That's what Lavellan offers him by holding out her hand there, at the edge of everything. That's where the light slips in.

She’s real, which means everyone is real and she changes everything, because she can.  Ar lasa mala revas. 

[astrasng]

Refined Secret - Who's better sweetheart?||L.J N.J

→ summary: you're having your wedding night with your loving husband, jeno. you feel so guilty for having a secret relationship with his best friend, but somehow jeno plays into your little game?

→ pairing: husband!jeno x fem!reader x jaemin

→ wc: 3.8k

→ warning: smut || threesome, jeno is mad, jaemin is tied up (:P) oj male receiving, gagging, unprotected sex, double penetration ENTERING THE BACK DOOR (iykyk), petnames (baby, angel,sweetheart, slut.) swearing

→ a/n: here it is!!! i'm so glad so many people liked the first part with only jaemin, so if you are here from that post thank you for staying and waiting for a part 2!! first part is here, if you haven’t read it yet! this was my first time writing a threesome so excuse me some mistakes or something is not understandable. but, as always,

enjoy!♡

 It was supposed to be your happiest moment in your entire life. Not the most thrilling one. You almost feel your body giving up as your eyes are trained on Jeno leaning against a hotel table in your rented room. 

   You knew it well that what you are doing, is fucked up. The heavy feeling on your heart always makes you want to sob out a cry when you see Jaemin again behind Jeno, letting him have his way with you over and over again until he’s satisfied. His only goal is making you his, the desire too strong to let you go now. 

    But were you seriously that dumb to think Jeno doesn’t know anything? 

    He wants to laugh, honestly. It feels like he underestimated you the whole time, but also he felt betrayed. He felt like he doesn’t know his wife true enough to know what she likes and not. He thought he left something out in your relationship, and perhaps he did. So when he learns the secret relationship of yours, he plays into your little game. Watching the two of you interact with each other with hawk eyes, his hands behind his back fisted as he tries to keep himself back from launching on you and dragging you away from the staring eyes. Especially, from one. The beloved and special day of yours goes by in a minute, finding yourself in the safe arms of your husband. Or so you thought minutes ago before you find yourself in a hotel room, away from the reception of your wedding.

    And this is exactly how you approach Jeno, with loving intent in your eyes to forget everything you did with Jaemin and focus on him and him only. 

    Until you step further into the room, and see Jaemin sitting helplessly on a chair infront of the bed. 

    Fuck. 

 “Hmm, sweetheart don’t be shy now, your beloved boy toy is watching you. Put on a show.” A deep voice rumbles from behind you, Jeno’s warm hands palming your breasts as you try to calm your nerves while your eyes are trained on the mentioned man, Jaemin. He’s wearing a coy smirk on his lips, even though his situation cannot be more comfortable than you soon being on your knees. His hands are tied behind his chair, his shirt long forgotten and only presentable in his dress pants earlier from today. His perfectly styled hair is disheveled now, head tilted to the side as his eyes are boring onto your naked body presented in front of your husband.

    You chew on your bottom lip as you take in the sight in front of you, feeling Jeno behind you getting hard as his cock poke the lower of your back. It’s like he can read your mind, filled with dirty thoughts on how this night will unfold. He thinks the same, as the passing seconds nearly makes him want to throw you on the neatly set hotel bed and devour you in front of his best friend. You feel all the blood rushing to your face when you feel Jeno’s hand slowly sliding all the way down where your pantyline sits, teasing the hem of it as you already know what comes next. 

    As you take a breath his finger glides over your already wet underwear, feeling your folds molding into the material as seconds passes and you get more wetter than before. He nuzzles his nose in the crook of your neck, his piercing eyes trained on the tied up man in front of the both of you. Thousand thoughts flood his mind, imagining the filthy scenarios the two of you have been doing behind his back. All of that comes to an end tonight,making sure you never stray away from Jeno’s side again. 

    “What made you want my wife, hm?” The question slips out of his mouth, barely hearable as he mumbles it into your neck. Your eyes widen in slight fear and shock, eyes landing on Jaemin as his smirk only grows. 

    “Do you truly want to hear my honest answer?” He replies, adjusting his hips slightly just for you to notice the visible tent forming in his pants. “All the reasons that made me seduce your wife and make her mine?” He adds, the smirk in his voice making Jeno irritated as his finger dips under the material and slides inside your warm walls. The sudden action made you let out a whine and throw your head back onto his shoulder, your bottom lip still caught by your teeth. His finger slowly works in and out of you, your wetness spreading all over the material of your underwear, pooling in small portions onto Jeno’s hand. 

    “Tell me.” His grip on you tightens, his other arm fully hugging you to his still fully clothed body. He’s the only one who still has every clothing on, making it impossible to think he doesn’t have the power over the both of you now. You and Jaemin at his mercy, you fully naked in his arms where you belong watching your secret being toyed by your husband. “Look into her eyes and tell me.” 

    Jeno’s long and slender finger curls inside you, making your stomach jump into a knot as you moan into the air while your hand immediately lands on his arm around you for support. Only for him to take that arm and turn your attention to Jaemin, his finger grabbing your chin and tilting your head in his way. He press kisses on the side of your neck, his warm breath only making you cry out for more as his finger is still working between your spongy walls. 

    Somewhere in front of you you hear a faint groan, seeing Jaemin adjusting in his seat again as he momentarily closes his eyes and takes a breath. Your legs squeeze on their own, trying to rub against each other for more friction. Jeno keeps you in his arms securely, his finger speeding up as well as his thumb lands on your puffy clit to ease your pain. 

    Jaemin lifts his head and sees how Jeno’s finger disappears inside you, the squelching noises filling the room only to bring Jaemin to let out a small groan once again. “How could I not want her when she makes the most delicious noises?” He confesses, his pants getting uncomfortably tight against his cock the longer he watches you, wanting to be on his knees in front of you to drink all the juices you spill out of your pussy. “Just as delicious as herself.” He wants to palm himself as he takes in the view, only to be remembered how restrained he is at the moment. Jeno is visibly furious by now, his finger speeding up even more as you writhe now against him, trying to catch your breath as you feel your climax approach. 

    “B-baby…S-slow down..” You whimper to warn Jeno, but it’s like a red light went off in his head. He curls his finger one more time, his thumb never stopping to massage your clit as you can’t help but come undone against his palm. You rub against his hand, letting out pornographic moans as your juices spill on his fingers and palm, making him chuckle into your neck. It drips out of you, feeling your thighs sticky with your arousal as you slowly lift your eyes to Jaemin, your heart skipping a beat. His gray pants are now ruined by a wet patch forming on the material, exactly where the head of his cock sits. He’s taking the air way quicker than before, looking down at himself with an all-knowing smile before looking up at you. The muscles in his arms and shoulders flex as he tries to get out of the restraints, but all it’s in vain. 

    “You did so well baby, look at him.” Jeno whispers into your ear, his arm around you slowly letting you go.

     “Look what you did to him.” 

    You look. Jaemin still looks like he’s been through a night with you, but in all truth, no one even touched him. And it visibly sets something off inside you, your throat going dry as you take in the next scene in front of you. Jeno slowly lets you go, you slowly end up on your knees as you can’t keep your weak body up by yourself. You see him slowly walking up to the other man, standing now next to him as he takes his pathetic form in. Jaemin is still wearing his shit eating grin as he looks up at your husband, his presence radiating nothing more than pride. As your eyes are still trained on them, Jeno slowly brings his fingers up in front of Jaemin, making the latter confused by his action. 

    “Open.”

    He simply says, his arousal coated fingers opening Jaemin’s mouth slowly. You feel yourself getting wetter once again as you see his fingers toy around with his tongue, his eyes watching you now as he fully takes your juices into his mouth,moaning around Jeno’s finger. His eyes flutter at your taste, his chest heaving by the passing moments. You take in Jeno too, he stares down at Jaemin as he lets him devour your taste on his digits, his eyes piercing more than ever. It feels like a decade by the time Jeno pulls his hand away and crutches down behind him, the tie around Jaemin’s hands suddenly hits the ground and he flashes a smile towards you. 

    You, on your knees in nothing but in your panties, feels like two predators are trying to seduce their prey. One single prey. Jeno walks back to you, smiling down at you as you lift your chin up towards him. His broad shoulders flex under his white button-up, taking his time as he rolls his sleeves up teasingly. Suddenly Jaemin appears behind him, looking down at you with the used tie in his hands now. Your eyebrows furrow at the material, looking at your husband with a questioning look. 

    “You didn’t seriously think I wouldn’t punish you too, right?” As you blink up at him he only smirks more, before crouching down in front of you. “Sweetheart,”

“Since you had some nerve playing around behind my back, you surely don’t mind me doing the same, hm?” He whispers, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear in a gentle way. His actions and words in disharmony only throws you off even more, knowing that this time, Jeno’s going full out. “Don’t expect anything less than you being our fuck doll tonight.” He smiles at you sweetly. You’ve never seen him like this, or talk this way about you. It sets a fire inside you. And he sees it too, hell, Jaemin probably knows this is what really turns you on. Something risky, something thrilling, 

    “Do you mind helping her out, Jaem?” Jeno stands up in front of you, his fingers working on unbuckling his belt.

    “Not at all.” He says in a low voice, walking around to stand behind you, crouching behind you as one of his hands softly swipes all of your hair onto your back. “Give me your hands baby.” He sweetly muses into your ear, already taking your delicate hands behind your back, securing it together with the silk tie. You look around confusedly, looking at Jaemin with pleading eyes as you try to put the two together. “Oh, baby…don’t look so surprised. You knew this would happen once, didn't you?” He caresses the skin on your back, making you arch into his touch and shiver with eagerness. Before you could say anything in response, Jeno grabs your chin and turns it in his way, looking down at you with expressionless eyes. 

   “Eyes here,baby.” He says. You see his bulge forming in his pants, your mouth salivating at the thought of tasting him finally. He takes his hands and unbuttons his dress pants, taking his thick, leaking cock out which hangs now in front of your face. The tip is flushed with eagerness, precum already coating the head as his veins are prominent on the skin. You lick your lips before pressing small kisses on the skin, kitten licks teasing the slit and tasting him with a satisfactory moan. You feel a pair of hands creeping up the back of your neck and head, Jaemin gathering all the hair into a ponytail. It’s like they are synchronized, Jeno at the same time holds your chin with one hand, the other grabbing his cock and smearing his precum on your flushed lips. 

    “Open up for me angel, show Jaemin what you got.” 

    At his command you obey, slowly letting his length slide into your warm mouth, hitting the back of your throat almost immediately, making you gag around him. Jaemin behind you peppers kisses on your exposed shoulder, his hand holding your hair as he whispers. 

    “That’s it, pretty girl. Take his cock just like that.”

    Your eyes are already watering by the time Jeno starts thrusting inside your throat, groaning from the warmness and wetness coating his member the more he dips his cock inside you. There’s a visible bulge formed in your throat, Jaemin immediately caressing the front of your throat in a careful way. It makes both you and Jeno moan, Jeno’s grip on your chin getting stronger enough to leave a slight bruise as he pounds inside your mouth. 

    His actions makes you rub your thighs together once again, crying out around his cock as you try to take puffs of air through your nose, wanting to come up for air but it’s no good, Jeno keeps his pace as his eyes are still bored into you, your face scrunching up into something between pleasure and discomfort at the same time. 

    “Look how good you make your husband feel, baby. Taking his cock so well like a good slut, hm?” Jaemin mumbles into your ears as he looks up at Jeno too, a smirk still painting his mouth as his other hand is still stroking the front of your throat for more pleasure. 

    The gagging noises blurred out by Jeno’s grunts makes you whine around him more, your pussy throbbing with need as you take his length more deeper. “Take him a little more, angel. You’re doing so good.” Jaemin whispers once again, and it’s the last drop in the glass when he squeezes his hand around your throat slightly. Jeno grunts at the feeling and reaches his climax, shooting white ropes of cum down your throat as he stills his moves against your mouth. All you can do is cry, tears spilling from your eyes as you feel his cum dripping out from the side, dropping on the bare skin of your thighs. Jaemin chuckles behind you, letting your hair fall around your face when Jeno finally pulls out of your mouth. 

    “Fuck…look at the mess you’ve made, baby.” He groans, gripping your chin once again to gather the spilled arousal on your lips into your mouth. At this point, you are leaned back into Jaemin’s chest, him keeping you up with his arms as Jeno happily stuffs your mouth with more cum. He smiles at you, mumbling a proud “Atta girl.” as you keep swallowing his seed. 

    It’s like a green light going off when Jeno suddenly nods swiftly, Jaemin swooping you into his arms and placing you on the bed in under a second. You look up at him with dazed and still tear coated eyes, seeing Jeno stepping beside him. You feel your slickness pour out of you as you take the two in, Jeno finally kneeling on the bed and pulling you closer to him by your ankles. 

    “We are far not done, sweetheart.” He says in a low voice, his teasing finger finally taking your ruined panty off to reveal your slick folds begging for attention. “Fuck.” He groans, putting your ankles on his wide shoulders. exposing you more than ever as he and Jaemin have the perfect view of your dripping hole. 

    “Fucking hell, princess.” Jaemin groans beside Jeno, his finger too eager to not touch you. You let out a yelp as he caresses your sensitive folds, sucking on his finger once again before leaving Jeno’s side to sit back on the sofa to watch the whole show. You don’t even have time to react when you see Jeno’s muscle flex on his forearm as he grabs his still wet cock and drags it along your arousal, making you whine as he bumps it against your sensitive clit. He circles his tip around it, as well as around your tight hole in a teasing matter before pushing in suddenly, making the both of you moan at the contact. His cock swells up inside you, molding into your walls as you take him inch by inch, easily sliding inside you. “So good,such a good girl.” He grunted, his hips now flushed against yours as you moan into the thin air, your hands still tied up behind you making you writhe on the bed. 

    “J-jeno…please, let me touch you..” 

    You plead with tears on your face, looking up at him as he takes a breath and presses a kiss on your ankle. “You think you deserve it? Touching me?” 

    “Yes, please I’m-”

    “Why don’t you call out for your boy toy over there,huh?” He bends your knees to touch your chest, closing the distance between the two of you as he’s merely a breath away now. His lips are ghosting over yours, almost touching your plush red lips as he pulls his hips back and thrusts forward sharply, making you moan into his mouth with furrowed eyebrows. Jeno can already feel the arousal dripping out the sides, all the slickness coating your skin and his pants as he continues to ram into you. 

    “F-fuck! Please, baby, fill me up..!” The sentence simply slips out as your mind is already back on his cock, feeling it dragging inside your walls just right, your climax for the second (or maybe third?) time of the night approaching quicker than before. But then, like a snap of a finger, Jeno pulls out and turns you to your side, him taking his dressing shirt finally off and throwing it to the side. He lays down on his side behind you, pulling you closer to him as you notice Jaemin kneeling in front of you on the bed now. 

    “So now I can finally join the fun?” He asks cockily, his pants now nowhere to be seen as his cock is standing proudly against his stomach, throbbing with need. He surely has been touching himself because you notice how red and wet it looks. His eyes are now looking hungrier than ever, scanning your flushed body against Jeno’s as he keeps his hands on you as Jaemin finally grabs your legs and lays slightly over you. You whine as you’re passed over to another, your clit throbbing so painfully for a release that you think you might die before you feel Jaemin touching you again, dragging his tip over your folds to coat it with your and Jeno’s slickness. 

    “Please..” You cry again, your eyes fluttering shut as you feel their bodies pressed against you, Jaemin cock teasing your dripping hole as he chuckles. 

    “Baby, you have to be more specific about what you ask for.” He hisses, his slit bumping against your clit again nearly making him cum over your pussy. 

    “I-i need…I need both of you..” You mumble out, your head thrown back on Jeno’s shoulder before you hear him chuckle and bite into your shoulder slightly. Jaemin hums before taking his hand and pulling one of your legs over his waist, getting closer to your body even more. He dips his head down to take one of your nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the perky muscle before biting down to make you arch more into him. But in a sudden minute, you feel him sliding his cock inside your warm walls, getting stretched out on his cock as you moan next to his ear. 

    “So you need both of us, sweetheart?” Jeno asks behind you teasingly, his hands gripping your waist that you believe will leave bruises, his cock rutting into your ass as he groans into your ears. “Let’s see how well you can take us.”

    You feel like your body is on a high fever. 

    Jaemin’s cock drag inside your walls makes you arch more into him, seeing his muscles work as he ruts more and more into your tight pussy, all while Jeno behind you using your dripping arousal coats your even tighter backside with his tip, launching his body more closer to yours ending you up in a tight position between the two men. 

    “Fuck,how can you be even more tighter?” He asks as he presses a finger in testingly, making your body tense up in that second. “You have to relax for me,okay?” He whispers into your ear,you trying to focus on his words but all you can feel is his best friend rutting his cock in your dripping cunt from forward, his grunts and moans filling your mind as all you can do is nod and whimper. “Just please…put it in already..” You mumble, your brain over cloud nine as you feel Jeno groan and press the finger deeper into your whole, easing up the tight rim so he can somehow fit inside you. 

    “Good,‘s so good baby..” Jaemin moans, his lips still paying attention to your nipples before feeling your climax approach, coating his cock with thick arousal and leaving his and Jeno’s member coated abundantly. “Yes, fuck, keep cumming like that..” 

    Before you could say any word, or even let out a hum, your breath gets caught up in your throat as you feel Jeno pressing his tip into your hole, pushing his cum coated member into your backside. 

    “Fuuuck, baby..” Jeno groans, his hands holding you tight as he keeps his cock nestled inside you deeply. With a half lidded eye, you look down where the both of them connect their body with yours, only for your eye catching the bulge showing on your stomach. A thin sheen of sweat gleams on your bodies, ignoring the pleading acclamation to slow down as both of them seem to have fallen into ecstasy. Their cocks rubbing slightly against each other, only to be separated by a wall gives both of them an animal kind of instinct,wanting to claim your body before the other.

    “Come on, scream for us doll,” Jaemin groans against your skin, feeling his climax creeping up on him. 

    “Fuck it deep into her Jaem, let her remember this night.” Jeno suddenly says from behind you, his hips never seem to stop from rutting more inside you as you scream into the night more. 

a/n: i almost lost my mind over this. pls be kind this was my first time writing a threesome bye

important!: this is pure fiction, the act in this story is by my imagination and not based off true events. please do not copy the work.

taglist: @arunainluv @liloraet @peterm4rker @chenlezip

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 7

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE 4 ENTRY I SWEAR

agatha: why yes I'm listening politely because I'm being sociable, not because this story concerns me in any way shape or form

she did NOT want TO DO IT AGATHA. HE WAS HER SON TOO AGATHA. did you ever give her a chance to SAY any of THAT. damn rio is (metaphorically) fighting for her life here. waiting centuries to catch her wife with her guard down next to a random fire, and then reworking her LONG PLANNED SPEECH into bite sized easily digestible bits so that her emotionally stunted soulmate doesn't run away screaming

I was doing MY DAMN FUCKING JOB agatha

agatha looks away like whooops! wasn't listening! wasn't looking at you! no sir, not me!

that's right. acknowledge her feelings. show her that you understand but that you're hurting too. be mature. you're doing great. god the way she swallows and stares right ahead, so determined. this is such a crucial moment for her.

agatha: i'm stone cold. I'm a wall. this is not affecting me in the slightest. I'm bored, really.

lilia not missing a word of what rio's saying

lmao the neutral pronoun lasted two seconds. she's not even trying to pretend like she isn't talking about agatha. and the way she nods to herself like yes, I did the best I could with this. so, there.

"she is my scar" is going to the sapphic annals, isn't it?

LMAOOOO the unblinking cat stare. rio is like I WAS TALKING TO YOU DUM-DUM. I KNOW IT, YOU KNOW IT, EVERYONE AROUND THIS GODDAMN FIRE KNOWS IT. CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE FUCKING TALK TO ME PLEASE DEAR GOD

and agatha doing a teeny tiny side glance and going whoooooooops not looking! I'm NOT looking! I'm not even here! and scrunching her face more and more trying to keep it blank

AND she's gone. she's so predictable lmaooo. every dang time.

awkwaaaaaard

rio with her soft smile again! with the little amused eye roll! never getting mad at agatha's antics. she's like FINE I'll come after you, you BIG BABY. the patience this woman has

lilia is so scared of rio because somehow, through her exceptional Seer abilities, she knew instinctively that this is her mortal foe. but something funny has just happened: here in front of her there's just a regular little guy, a bit odd maybe, doing her little thing, trying to talk to her ex. might it be... might it be that death isn't a monster, that it's just a thing, a strange but natural thing that happens to everybody? lilia cannot accept that quite yet. so she grabs rio and says no, no. I've seen what you are. you're scary, you're evil, you're dangerous. this is lilia's survival instincts kicking in. we are simply wired to fear death, that's just how humans are. it takes an exceptional mind and soul to see past that.

oh god, here we go, here we go. deep breaths (I'm telling this to myself tbh. i need the pep talk)

stroking her hair so gently. soft, tentative.

hey, subtitle people??? what the fuck??

rio just stands and stares. lets agatha decide what comes next, goes at her pace always

the haiR CARESSING

the HUG. the BIG SIGH. this bitch was running away screaming from rio just yesterday. and here she is. her love. her partner. she finally acknowledges rio's pain and all that they lost and all that they were (and still are tbh) to each other. THIS is what rio was looking for. she's not flirting to manipulate and deflect now, she's not being somebody else. this is agatha cracked open and bleeding love and sorrow

and they melt into each other, and they're rocking each other back and forth, with all their pain and tenderness and longing

agatha with her face buried in rio's shoulder. I'm unwell

and then agatha gently pushes rio back and strokes her hair and cradles her face like she did so many times before and leans in and here I am giving you a play-by-play and running a commentary like a totally normal and sane person would

you know what makes for a perfect onscreen kiss imo? no it's not tongue, although these two will give us plenty of that too. it's the TREMBLING. THE HESITATION. THE YEARNING.

rio and her superhuman willpower. couldn't be me.

and and and and and agatha looks at her puzzled for a second and doesn't register what's happening and dives for a kiss again she's so far gone. the feral animal noises I'm making you have no idea

THE ICY SHOWER

THE STEP BACK. THE MOST PAINED SMILE

THE REGRET

I think one big reason why agatha is always so calculated is because she's afraid her instincts will take over. she does something big and spectacular and stupid and then calls it a 'calculated risk' when it was actually a rush of fear, desire, sorrow, anger that she couldn't control. tonight rio has managed to poke a little hole into a carefully constructed dam, and now all the water is rushing out and tearing down the walls. agatha has rio in her arms and her shape, her scent, her skin are so nostalgic and familiar. her brain goes on autopilot, she's been lonely for so long, she is FAMISHED for love and connection and sex and acceptance. rio wanted her to open up, but agatha doesn't do half-measures. rio wanted her to give for a change, but agatha can only ever take.

rio HAS to put a stop to it. she puts logic before heart, one of them has to and you know agatha isn't gonna. more than anything rio wants to take this one perfect moment and run away with it, but instead she tears herself away and asks, what happens next? what happens if I have to take billy away from you? that reanimated corpse, that freak of nature who walked into your life only yesterday and took over?

billy is now part of the equation and rio cannot ignore it. she has been so gentle and careful with agatha, easing her into a reconciliation that is now in jeopardy because here comes billy maximoff like a sword of damocles! what happens if agatha takes her back only for rio to break her heart all over again? there would be no coming back from that. rio cannot help being the grim reaper just as much as agatha cannot help being a succubus, and she is almost at her breaking point here. because she is hurting too! she is sick of having to be the mature one! she's sick of always coming in second after all of agatha's issues! turns out there's a limit even to the heartbreak an impossibly old and wise being can take.

(and now I need a smoke and a future episode that is just 30 minutes of hot but soft cuddles and kisses and sweet nothings. please.)

once again a big shoutout and thank you to all the people reaching out and leaving comments, it's incredible to hear from you all @crybabyheathen @onceuponalegendbg @idkbroletssee @psychicsolanum @73chn1c0l0rr3v3l @a-tad-bit-obsessed @a-rusty-bucket-of-woes @miacheezytoon @isagrimorie @april-december @aquaaquila and I'm probably forgetting someone but I see you all and I appreciate you so much!

and now for something extra

[klavlock]

ok so. hear me out on this one but moshang and bingqui swingers au (cw for infidelity and airplane levels of silly plot contrivance re:demon culture)

//

shen qingqiu does not mean to walk in on his semi-clothed husband grinding down on his equally dishevelled second in command. that wasn’t… like. intentional. he was bored and binghe and mobei jun were doing demon realm politics things and he wondered if they might want company! which clearly!! they didn’t!

he does scream. but its in shock! and then, a second later, when what he’s seeing dawns on him, in anger.

oh. then he’s crying. yep, those are tears. and his legs feel a little weak so… floor time!

binghe and mobei jun make themselves presentable at speed and then binghe is hovering in front of sqq, apologies tumbling from his lips and pulling sqq’s hands away from his face. sqq isn’t really listening.

but when mobei jun tries to sneak out past him sqq grabs that motherfucker by the sleeve and drags him down to his eye level. “don’t you fucking go anywhere.”

mobei jun looks? a little frightened maybe? good. he should be. “consort shen-“

“how the fuck could you do that to shang qinghua.”

binghe’s torrent of apologies pauses. “shizun?”

“mobei jun. tell me you did not just cheat on my best friend.”

mobei jun does not say anything. binghe is still holding sqq’s wrists, so he cannot claw the other man’s eyes out. “let go of me, binghe.”

binghe drops his hands immediately. “shizun-“

shen qingqiu has stopped crying now. he wipes the last of his tears away from his face. “tell me why i shouldn’t rip your dick off?” he asks mobei jun, his tone steely.

binghe breaks in again. “shizun, this husband must take equal blame, i’m sorry. mobei and i were sparring, it got heated - i thought-“

“binghe, shush for a sec. i’m not mad at you.” sqq does not see the look of utter confusion on his husband's face. his attention is on mobei jun. “did you cheat on my best friend?”

“in demon culture-“

sqq lunges.

by the time shen qingqiu has been wrestled off mobei jun, the latter is sporting multiple scratches, a sword wound in his shoulder and the beginnings of a black eye. also, a new respect and admiration for lord luo’s spouse.

shang qinghua has also arrived. he has assured sqq that yes. this was an aspect of demon culture he had actually consented to, he’s fully aware his king sometimes rubs one out with other ppl, no it doesn’t bother him but “luo binghe? my king?? did you have a death wish??”

sqq threatens mbj a few more times for good measure. sqh gets a little misty eyed at how deep his bro’s loyalty goes. he is reassured that sqh’s feelings are not hurt and the only boundary crossed was mbj’s choice of sparring/sex partner. (a discussion that sqh could handle without his bro’s help, seriously, cucumber.)

only then does sqq turn his attention to his husband. who’s immediately throws himself at sqq’s feet. “this luo binghe does not deserve his shizun’s forgiveness, he only asks—“

“this husband is not mad at you. binghe is a growing boy-“ (shang qinghua squawks) “-he has hormonal urges that he cannot always control. this master wishes to be informed ahead of time, in future, if his husband wishes to spend time with another lover. I only ask that I remain the first in his heart and… in his bed.”

there. sqq thinks. i’ve handled the whole harem-creation urge of binghe's very nicely. established my own boundaries but let lbh sow his wild oats, or whatever the phrase is.

sqq has no idea why everyone’s mouths are hanging open.

“that’s it?” asks sqh. “you almost kill my king for maybe being disloyal to me but your husband gets off scott-free?”

“binghe’s binghe. i can’t be mad at him.”

sqh facepalms. binghe preens. only mbj looks confused. “so… lord luo and i may continue…?”

“only if quinghua’s ok with it. but yes. this master allows it.”

mbj nods. “thanking consort shen for his generosity and understanding. will you be taking a bed warmer? traditionally, of course, it would be shang qinghua-“

sqh lets out a squeak. sqq’s eyes widen. “what, like—“ he turns to sqh, who flinches. his sword is tossed aside, pulled from him during his attack on mobei-jun, but he brandishes his fan menacingly. “DID YOU WRITE SWINGING INTO PIDW?”

“ONLY INTO THE DRAFTS, DUDE.” sqh raises his arms above his head for protection but it’s too late. sqq’s upon him.

luo binghe and mobei jun watch their spouses tussle onto the floor and then watch in fascination as sqq proves himself very adept at demon sparring culture after all by straddling sqh and pressing his face roughly into the ground.

“did you just lick my hand?”

“i’ll lick your /face/“

“well since you’re a hack who wrote swinging into the narrative you might as well /kiss/ my face you ridiculous, awful— mmmmffh”

and they were kissing. perfect. mbj shoots lbh a look and lbh nods, gesturing to the door. their husbands seem occupied and he and mbj didn’t exactly get to finish what they were doing earlier. they should remedy that.

[astr0logywh0r3]

astro observations pt. 2

1.) venus square mars ppl have trouble with balancing their masculine and feminine energies. they can feel this internally and it can make them feel insecure. one second they feel hyper feminine and the next they feel more masculine. they wish they could find a way to balance both sides of them but it’s a struggle. they could come off too strong from time to time as a result of their inner conflict (might come off too strongly feminine or masc in the moment) and then they’d feel bad ab it later

2.) i think neptune in the 1st/conjunct the asc might be good at making other people feel special 🤨

3.) mars-pluto ppl have that confident inner power within themselves

4.) cancer risings remind me of fluttershy from mlp 💀

5.) saturn conjunct asc/in 1st house might have been extremely shy kids. they have a lot of determination within themselves though. makes a very strong-willed person. go after what they want with resilience and understand the importance of taking calculated steps to achieve their desires. definitely the no-bullshit type

6.) pluto on the ascendant always reminds me of tony montana from scarface for some reason 😭. i guess it makes sense since al pacino has pluto conjunct his asc so idk. it’s just that archetype. tony wasn’t afraid and didn’t stop at anything to reach where he got. a phoenix risen from the ashes. stubborn. that “don’t tell me what tf to do” type energy. intense, babe. their eyes are crazy too (it’s like they store all their inner intensity and deep emotions in their eyes ..lotta depth). also the no-bullshit type. if they’re mad at you ……be afraid 💀 they will plot revenge and start conspiring some shit

7.) taurus risings are pretty in a “oh, they’re cute” way. they have short little noses and pretty eyes

8.) pisces risings… are y’all good at telling stories? 😭 i think you guys get a little sidetracked

9.) chart ruler in the 9th makes someone adventurous… they just wanna explore and do everything. try everything there is at least once. could have a great sense of humor too

10.) scorpio moons are really protective of their family. they guard their families just like they guard their emotions

11.) unpopular opinion but scorpios aren’t mysterious to me 😐 i’m not sure id call any zodiac sign mysterious tbh it really depends on the whole chart. scorpios to me are just super honest people who have pragmatic opinions that they aren’t afraid to state out loud. if a scorpio has an opinion they feel strongly about they won’t be afraid to let others know how they feel, which i admire about them to an extent. they like getting to the nitty gritty of situations. some of them can actually be very kind people. funny as well due to their honesty and boldness. oh, and they just love dark reds. search up “maroon” and that is literally their staple color you cannot tell me otherwise

12.) i’ve met leos who i’ve found boring before which goes against their stereotype 💀 sometimes their personalities are just the bare minimum honestly unless the rest of the chart says otherwise

13.) mars in the 11th have big dreams for themselves. they wanna make a difference.

14.) 8th house sun makes someone intriguing and mysterious. it can also be a placement that grants beauty.

15.) moon in the 4th just wanna belong.

[memoirofasparklemuff1n]

omg just read ur long sleeves fix it was sSOOOO GOOD! if u write part 2 i will be tuned in & reading ☝️☝️

i miss you, i'm sorry- r.c. x reader

part 2 of long sleeves!!!

OMGG IM SOO GLAD YOU LIKED IT <3

warnings: swearing angst (?) mention of drugs, rehab, and reader is so fucking codependent, like girl?? anyway, this is horrible y’all i cannot for the life of me write a happy ending so i tried my best 😞 can you tell i’m depressed LMAOOO? YALL SHES DEPRESSED TOO 😔 but seriously if i could make it happier hmu, i won’t get mad i promise. i’m new at this whole writing thing 🤠 not proofread cuz i wanted to post this already so tell me if there are big mistakes and my first language isn’t english so sorry if there are errors

disclaimer: the reader's depression is based on my own experiences, everybody is different and what i might go through isn't the same as what another person goes through. with that said, if you find any of these topics triggering, i understand! so, please always take care of yourself <3

ps: sorry this took so long, i've just been busy with school and my dad has been sick for a few days now so i haven't had time.

I'M ALSO HALFWAY DONE THROUGH THE FLASHBACKS FOR NO BODY, NO CRIME. i just haven't had the time fml. hopefully tomorrow 🤞. ok enough whining and into the story 🥁

want it, so i got it, did it, so it's done

making the bed started playing and the first line felt like a punch to the gut. i hated when life kicked you when you were already down.

i quickly changed to a cheery workout playlist that felt more mocking, in a sense, but decided it was better to not relate to the lyrics than listening to my despair sing back to me.

after that day in tannyhill, i'd decided to start running at night. in a silly way i thought that maybe running would burn away my pain in a healthy way. though how healthy running on barely any sleep, with nothing but depressive thoughts in my brain, was beyond me.

still, at least this way i felt like i was doing something. that i was taking action instead of moping. that doesn't make any sense. ugh, shut the fuck up. i really didn't know whose side i was on half the time.

the night sky was clear, making the stars wink at me as if they knew something i didn't. the sea breeze caressed my face, combing its fingers through my hair and drying away my tears.

running equated crying but by the time i got home i would be so exhausted that i couldn't even think. which was, of course, the ultimate goal. not think of him.

six months had passed and it didn't hurt any less. on the contrary, all i could think was how i'd abandoned him. probably when he needed me the most. two weeks after our breakup, sarah called me to tell me that rafe was terribly sick and they were taking him to the hospital. i'd debated whether i should tell her what had happened but she then said that she was aware of the situation and that i shouldn't go see him. she was only letting me know and, in a way, it felt like she was blaming me.

that was the last time i had contact with the camerons, town gossip and my mother becoming the only ties left between us. he'd gone to rehab and was apparently taking better care of himself, his family supporting him every step of the way.

fucking hypocrites. ward never cared when i told him about his son's addiction, instead saying that i should keep quiet, that everything would be okay. rose only cared about new shopping places to spend the family's money. sarah had started spending time with her new boyfriend and barely came home and wheezie was far too young.

so that left me. it had always been me, but when word got out of how bad rafe he was, they then played the card of ignorance and became the holy family.

i took a deep breath and slowed down to a jog, unaware of where the fuck i was. i looked at my surroundings for the first time and of course, i was in front of tannyhill. the gates were close but i could hear muffled voices on the other side. stepping closer to listen like the eavesdropper i was.

i looked through the bars of the gate, only to see him or well his back. he was with ward, who was lowering another suitcase to the ground. i frowned but i then heard his voice saying my name.

Ward turned his head sharply in his direction, "you are not seeing her again, alright? she's the one that got you into this mess in the first place." oh so the asshole blamed me.

he turned to face his dad and i gasped. his hair was buzzed and he looked older, healthier. he looked good but i couldn't help but feel like this was a different person entirely. i felt a slight pang in my chest because i'd been the one who had insisted on him leaving his hair longer and now he'd erased that too.

his voice interrumpted my thoughts, "dad, that is not true and you know it." why was he defending me? in a way what ward said was true. i'd left him alone that night.

his father stepped closer to him and put his hands on his son’s shoulders, “son, trust me when I tell you that it is best for you to stay away from her. don’t set yourself up for disappointment. We know where that led you.” Ward then kissed his forehead like one did to a child in a condescending manner.

Ward then picked up the suitcases left and turned to enter the house, leaving him standing there with a strange expression on his face. He lifted his gaze and somehow found mine, like they always did. I’d forgotten how we always sensed the other, no matter how much time had passed. My heartbeat sped up, causing me to quickly turn around and ran away from him as fast as I could.

“He is such a good father to those kids, especially Rafe.” Vanessa, my mother’s friend said, swooning over ward. Like god, he’s married, get a life.

Either way it seemed like every corner of this island is haunted. Ever since he’d come back as a stellar young man, all the women at the country club started obsessing over him, but more so his father. They practically held him as a saint and it only made my blood boil.

I felt my mothers gaze on me when his name was mentioned, noting the way I flinched and seemed particularly interested in the half eaten strawberries on my plate. They continued to chatter, causing me to tune them out and look at my surroundings for a distraction. Big mistake.

The doors had opened as if on cue, and there he was with a new found confidence that was unfamiliar to me. Before I could look away his eyes found mine, quieting everything around me, dèjá vu flooding my body. We looked at each other for what seemed an eternity until ward came up behind him, clapping his hand on his shoulder to turn him away from me. The colder version of his son’s eyes bore into mine in a warning. Stay away from him.

I looked back down at my plate no longer interested in my food. My eyes welled up and I knew that if i stayed a minute longer on this table I would start sobbing or worse.

“Mom? I’m not feeling well so I’m going home,” my voice quiet in her ear and she realized what I meant.

She nodded, “take the car, ok?”

“It’s ok, I can walk home.” I needed to clear my head and driving wasn’t the best idea.

“Are you sure?” The concern in her eyes made my heart wrench.

“I’m sure, mom. Thanks.” I stood up and voicing my goodbyes, leaving the club as fast as I could.

The sun was out and the sky was clear of clouds, a stark contrast of how I felt inside. I walked down the path, golf carts filled with kooks passing me by. All of them chattering about the next party or newest deal they had closed.

I kept walking and walking until I reached the boardwalk, which was thankfully empty. I sat down on the edge, swinging my feet over the water with the girl staring back at me and somehow looked as if she was drowning.

The wind carried the sound of footsteps behind me, my body tensing as his perfume arriving along with his shadow looming over me. The drowning girl hid away, leaving me alone. I almost begged her to take me with her.

“Why do you always run away?” my heart sank and then restarted when I heard his voice. For the first time in months, I heard the world clearly again. I hadn’t realized the power it had over me. Didn’t you?

Who was I kidding? He would always be my favorite person, everything about me was shaped by him. My favorite color was blue, my favorite smell was his cologne, my favorite taste were his lips, my favorite sound in the world was his voice, his body my favorite thing to touch. But most of all, his soul.

I took a deep breath before lifting my gaze to his. The knot on my throat made it hard to speak, “Who said I was running away?”

He scoffed before sitting down next to me. “I know you. Or at least I thought I did.” His tone sounded reproachful, his eyes searching my face. this time i really looked at him, gone were his red, glassy eyes, the gauntness of his cheeks but most importantly, the anger that had felt permanently etched into his features every time he looked at me.

the buzz cut now made his features more prominent, his body was stronger and not as skinny as when he’d been living off cocaine and god knew what else.

he looked more like the rafe i’d met forever ago, but there was still something that wasn’t quite there. his innocence. which wasn’t the one of a child, but more so the type of innocence that comes with ignorance. the type where you think you can get away with anything and that bad things only happen to somebody else, but never to you. no matter how bad you behave, you genuinely believed there would be no consequences.

and the boy in front of me knew how untrue that belief was.

“rafe, i—” the knot on my throat became worse, preventing me from talking further. great, now here come the waterworks!

i turned my face away so he couldn’t see my tears but it was too late.

he took hold of my face, “look at me.”

i tried to jerk away but it was no use. i had no other choice but to cry silently while he judged me.

“im going to talk and you’re going to listen, understood?” his voice now held a tone of authority i’d never heard before.

that’s kinda hot. dude, now is not the time.

i nodded because what the fuck was i supposed to do?

he turned so both of his hands held my face now. then he did something i wasn’t expecting, he leaned in and kissed my forehead for what felt like an eternity.

when he pulled away his gaze held mine, with a force stronger than any physical restraint i could possibly be held in.

the tears were flowing freely so i probably looked like a drowned cat at the moment.

“im not mad at you, ok? i hope you know that i never asked for you to not visit me. i know it was my dad that didn’t want you near me, but i swear that the only person i ever wanted by my side was you.

“i won’t deny that i was furious when you left me that night. i only got worse because i didn’t have anyone to stop me, or at least try to. i felt like you were the last person that still believed in me, who would always be beside me. and i took you for granted.” his words felt like a knife through my heart. i abandoned him.

“rafe, im sorry. i shouldn’t have left you like that. not when you needed me the most.” my words barely made sense but he somehow understood. he always did.

“no. you did the right thing. i hurt you, i told you that i hated you. when all you’d ever done for me was love me. i’m sorry, ok? if you hadn’t left then maybe i wouldn’t have gotten help.” he lowered his hands to his lap, my face burning where they had been resting.

“i know you tried to help me. that you talked to my dad about how i was and i know that he dismissed you. he only took me to the hospital because i overdosed and he didn’t want the island to know how ward cameron’s perfect son was a drug addict.” he laughed in a humorless manner, “hell, he even paid everyone at the hospital to keep quiet. that didn’t help much, frankly. gossip always finds its way.”

i wanted to say something but i could tell he wasn’t done so i waited until he felt ready.

this time his voice was hoarse, making me realize he wanted to cry too. i couldn’t take it anymore because nothing could hurt me more than seeing him in pain.

“rafe?” i murmured. he looked up with a broken expression causing me to wrap my arms around him. i felt him tense for a second before he hugged me back tightly.

my shirt got wet with our tears and we clung onto each other like a lifeline, with rafe repeating my name like a mantra. after a while, we pulled away and he held my face between his hands like before, only this time much gentler.

“i miss you, im sorry.”

“i miss you too, rafe.” i fell back into him, resting my head on his shoulder. we sat silently for a while before he spoke.

“can we at least be friends?” the question caught me by surprise.

“you’ve always been my best friend, rafe. but again i’m sorry for not being there, i should’ve done more.”

“no, you couldn’t have. it was the way things were supposed to be.”

he played with my hair like he used to, “you’ve always been my best friend too, kid.”

i punched him playfully at the name, making him chuckle. i pulled back to see his face and i wiped away the few tears that were left with my hand. he fell silent, leaning into my touch, “i love you, you know? not being close to you drove me insane. and it makes me so happy to see that you are healthy, at least physically.

“i want to help you in any way that i can and i want to be there from now on, if—“ his lips crushing onto mine cut me off before i could finish. his hands were in my hair, holding me in place as if afraid i’d run away again.

only i knew i wouldn’t. not this time. he groaned when i bit his lower lip, softly. he ran his tongue along mine before i let him in. i sighed into the kiss and pulled him impossibly closer. our lips explained more than any words that came out of them ever could. i separated from him to breathe and he only kept kissing my cheeks, jaw, neck until he reached my collarbone where he rested his head with quick, short breaths.

“i love you too,” he said. i touched his hair and ran my fingers over the short strands.

“i like your hair, by the way,” i murmured.

he laughed, pulling back. “really? i got it because i thought you would hate it.”

i rolled my eyes, “are you serious? either way, you look good with any haircut.”

“i wasn’t exactly planning on this to go like this. in my head, i was going to confront you and tell you all the ways i’d been miserable but that went away when i saw you that night by my house.”

“oh.”

he chuckled, “yeah. oh. anyway, i was telling my dad how i was going to ask why you never visited me and that’s why he said what you heard.

“i then realized it had been him and as if life liked playing tricks on me, there you were at the gate with a sad expression. yet before i could say anything you left running. i wanted to go after you but my dad called me inside and i didn’t want a fight that night. so i waited until i saw you today and when i was going to ask you to talk to me, again my dad came along. but then i saw you leave and i figured it was now or never, so i excused myself and he was so busy talking to the others at the table that he didn’t notice.”

i scoffed, “well, i’m guessing he noticed by now.”

he laughed, “yeah.”

we fell silent but i still had one more thing to ask, “how did you know i was here?” though i think i already knew the answer, after all i hadn’t exactly been surprised when he came. more like a sense of having your intuition confirmed.

“remember the night we met? i was alone and drunk, saying i was going for a night swim when i saw you sitting here alone. which should’ve alerted me that you were a weirdo but between your beauty and the alcohol, those thoughts went to shit.”

i blushed slightly, “i’m not a weirdo, jackass. i’d had a rough night.”

“i know, kid. i’m just messing with you and besides, i might’ve drowned that night if you hadn’t been here,” he smiled fondly but a bit sad as well.

“so, that makes me your knight in shining armor?” i grinned.

he scowled in mock annoyance, “how dare you mock a damsel in distress?”

i chuckled and felt a heavy weight lift off my chest. i felt lighter than i had in a while, and all because of him.

“my apologies, dear.”

he took my hand with a smile and brought it to his lips for a kiss, before placing it against his cheek.

“but to answer your question, we always find each other,” his words sinking in. that was true. we always did as if there was some invisible string tying him to me.

“you’re right. although you’re still not beating the stalker allegations,” i teased.

“ugh shut up, it was one time!” he groaned.

i burst out laughing, “you followed me for a whole day! that’s some stalker behavior type shit.”

“c’mon, kid. i wanted to give you your bracelet back and i didn’t know where you lived,” his eyes widening in a too innocent way which caused me to narrow mine.

“a bracelet that wasn’t even mine. plus you could’ve just given it to me when you first saw me,” i crossed my arms in front of my chest with a raised brow.

“oh c’mon, but where’s the fun in that?”

i pushed his shoulder, playfully only for him to laugh and hug me.

“i really just wanted to know if you were with someone else, so i wouldn’t make a fool of myself.” he whispered in my ear.

“you could’ve just asked,” i rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see me.

“i wanted to be cool about it, ok? i had a reputation to maintain,” he joked but i knew he was a little serious. he’d been the epitome of a rich, arrogant, country club boy.

“i thought you were such an asshole.” who the fuck wears shades inside of a convenience store? you guessed it: rafe cameron.

he gasped in mock surprise, “you’re just saying that because you had the hots for me.”

“pfft, sure buddy. i think you’re projecting a little,” i laughed.

“i never said i didnt,” this time his tone was a little too serious making my heart beat faster.

“can we try this again?” he asked shyly.

i pondered for a moment before answering, “yes, but i want you to let me help you this time, ok?”

he moved his head to look me in the eye, “i promise.”

“ok, but wait. what about your father?” i’d somehow forgotten how he hated me now. or maybe always had.

“what about him? i’m an adult, i can make my own decisions. besides it’s none of his business. he’s the one that got us here in the first place.” his tone was now angry, which was rare when he spoke of his father. it was usually filled with frustration and sadness when it came to him. and i knew how important his father’s approval was to him.

“rafe, i don’t know. he’s still your father and i don’t want to come between you two,” i lowered my eyes so he wouldn’t see the tears threatening to spill.

he was silent for a moment before lifting my chin with his finger, frowning when he noticed my expression.

“you’re the love of my life. i’m not losing you again, ok? he’ll have to understand and i will talk to him. i’ll tell him how things really went down. plus, he isn’t innocent in any of this either.”

pursing my lips, i nodded. “ok” i didn’t really believe ward would be capable of changing his mind, but if it made rafe happy then i would try and compromise.

rafe searched for my eyes with a soft smile, “i love you.”

i returned the smile, “i love you too.”

he then got up to his feet, reaching his hand down to help me stand. after a few more kisses and a hug, he took me to his truck. we drove around with no particular destination in mind but with the sole purpose of being by ourselves without prying eyes and judging remarks.

i hoped deep down that i wasn’t making a mistake and that everything would be ok.

and as if on cue, “everything is going to be ok.” i turned my head in surprise at his words.

“don’t act so shocked, kid. i know you better than i know myself.” he then lifted my hand again and kissed it like he’d done on the boardwalk.

i chuckled and leaned my head back, closing my eyes. with the windows down, the ocean breeze, his hand drawing circles on the back of mine, and the soft music playing, i felt myself float away.

“sleep, angel. i love you.”

and then i woke up.

JK JK IT’S NOT A DREAM.

or is it? HEHEHEHEHE

ALSO WHY IS SHE SO CODEPENDENT??? LIKE GIRL STAND UP (says the one who wrote her 👯‍♀️)

anywayyyy, if you made it this far THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU!!!

please feel free to write comments or whatever, i love talking to you all 💞

and if you liked this check out my other stories!!

im currently writing a murder mystery kind of story and i only have two chapters for now, but i will make flashbacks with like text messages and diary entries and stuff. i’m trying to make it as if the reader is part of the investigation (I HOPE IM DOING A GOOD JOB) and i already have how i want the story to end but writing it is the hard part. like how long do i make it?? i don’t want to rush it but i really want to finish it because the characters take a mind of their own when i write. does that make sense? prob not lol

div creds!!- by @anitalenia

[greypistacchio]

alright, do you remember Sam and Dean from seasons 1-5? they would and did die for each other, they would rather doom the world than their sibling, and their devotion to each other was unconditional. and, for all we've all joked about their codependency, it was very much real and now that it's starting to fall apart the debris is hitting Dean, particularly, and leaving deep cuts.

so I'm on 9.13 right? at the end of the episode, Sam and Dean have a discussion about whether they will let Maritza go back to Peru, and they end up arguing about their own bond. mind you, it's pretty clear to both of them as well as to the audience that their relationship is on the rocks, but I don't think either of them had realised how much they've drifted away from each other until now.

so when sam says, "That's the problem. You think you're my brother, my saviour, the hero (...) you've convinced yourself that you're doing more good than bad. But you're not (...). Please, tell me what is the upside of me being alive?" you can see him flinch. he doesn't blow up at Sam, though, which is a new one considering that he tends to have angry outbursts at people when he's feeling cornered or vulnerable. instead he scoffs, because he cannot imagine a world in which them being on the road together again isn't better than one in which Sam is dead.

but then sam goes on with, "You didn't save me for me. You did it for you. I was ready to die, I was ready—I should have died. But you? You didn't wanna be alone, and that's what all of this boils down to. You can't stand the thought of being alone! i'll give you this much, you're willing to do the sacrificing as long as you're not the one being hurt," and you can see in Dean's face, I fucking swear, you can see in his face how deeply that hurt him.

right now, Dean simply cannot hear those words. regardless of whether Sam is being fair or not, Dean is just not in the right place to hear Sam out and try to understand what he's expressing without getting defensive. again, he doesn't blow up at his brother. but he does something that ends up hurting him infinitely more than snapping at Sam would've, because he ends up stating his belief that Sam would've saved him too if the situation had been reversed and Sam says he wouldn't have.

i was left speechless after hearing that.

eight and a half seasons into the show, it's been made abundantly clear that Dean struggles with a chronic sense of guilt, loneliness, and unworthiness. many times the only reason why he's kept going has been his duty as Sam's protector, and he even gave his life and spent 40 years in Purgatory just so Sam would live. whether you agree or not with Dean's feral commitment to keeping Sam alive, it's been his driving force all this time, to the point that he DID sacrifice his own happiness when he let go of his life with Lisa and Ben to join Sam on the hunt again.

and look, Sam is right when he says that Dean doesn't want to be alone, but it's so fucked-up that he throws it in Dean's face as if that wasn't a result of a lifetime of trauma, or were an evil thing. regardless of whether he agrees with Dean's refusal to let go of him, Sam knows how unbearably lonely Dean is, and he knows how much Dean has sacrificed because he has fucking seen him do it.

yeah, of course he's got every right to be pissed, particularly considering that Sam has deep issues with being denied his autonomy be it by not allowing him to make his own choices or by possession. he DOES have every right to be mad that Dean, once again, didn't let him go when he was ready and willing to pass away. but the way he handled it is NOT OKAY at fucking all, and I don't care that he's Sam with the puppy eyes and kind heart.

and that's why I see this scene as the first time that Dean realises how far away from each other they really are. up until now he wasn't aware that Sam was furious that Dean didn't let him die. yes, he knew that Sam was angry about what Dean did to keep him alive, ie. letting an angel possess him, and he knew that Sam was really mad at him for lying to him and going behind his back. but I don't think Dean was aware that Sam is also fuming over the fact that he is alive at all, beyond the technicalities of how Dean made that happen.

Dean has been actively suicidal since season 2, but I don't think it ever crossed his mind that Sam might be too. not because he isn't a good person, or because he doesn't care—but rather because, as I said above, he isn't ready to acknowledge that his brother might not want to keep pushing through anymore. Sam was the one who got away from the hunt, and who got into college, and who was going to have a picket-fence life with his partner and be happy. Sam is the good-hearted one, Sam is the compassionate one, Sam is the one who Dean thinks deserves to live out of the two of them.

how do you think Dean felt when he heard Sam prove this all wrong? he knows what suicidality feels like, and he has struggled with it for years but endured because he was raised to protect Sam at all costs. how do you think it felt to hear Sam, his life purpose, blow up at him and call him a selfish coward when Dean has spent his whole fucking life taking care of Sam no matter the cost? and how do you think Dean felt when it dawned on him that Sam did not want to live either? Dean was meant to keep Sam alive and protect his chance at having a happy, long life. if Sam doesn't want that anymore, he has failed, so what now? what is he supposed to do with this, with the knowledge that his little brother despises what he did and sees him as an asshole who just keeps him around so he won't be lonely because he is selfish??

god I am so mad right now. not at either of them, per se, though I do think that Sam is being an asshole every time he fails to acknowledge how much Dean has had to give up, lose, or barter just to raise him, then to stand by him when Heaven wanted to kill him, then to remain by his side when Lucifer walked the Earth after Sam was tricked into freeing him. I am just mad on their behalf. this was a point of no return if I've ever seen one, because Sam has spat on Dean's most tender wounds and rawest hurt. what the fuck are they gonna do now? how do you rebuild the trust after something like this?

this show's gonna be the end of my sanity. for fuck's sake.

[mykoreanlove]

i need skz angst like rn??😭

hyunjin x female reader, and they maybe decide to go out to like a club or something, and some guy hits on the reader and hyunjin is like “you were flirting back!” and the reader is just very confused bc they tried to let the guy know as kindly as possible that they are taken, but hyunjin is still really mad and it results in them fighting

and then maybe hyunjin decides to go home but not like a shared apartment thing like he goes somewhere reader doesn’t know about

and then a day passes and he’s like “oh no i fucked up” and comes to readers apartment to apologize

happy ending? tysmmm🎀

I was like sure, let's writing something short and quick but somehow it turned into 6 pages lol. hope u enjoy it :)

The pros of being an insanely hot couple? A lot of sex and affection, a lot of people wanting to be like you and a lot of praise and admiration.

The cons of being an insanely hot couple? A lot of people trying to take your place, a lot of jealous envy and a lot of insecurity.

“Baby, you look incredible”, Hyunjin whispered into your ear as he hugged you from behind. You were standing in front of the mirror, admiring your look for the night. “I wanted to look good for you”, you shyly admitted as you leaned into him. “There is absolutely nothing you have to do to accomplish this, y/n. Nothing, you hear me?”

Ever since you met Hyunjin a couple of weeks ago your whole world turned around. You were used to dating a lot and having fun, but this was different. He was different. Both of you fell for the other rather quickly, a romance that revealed a hidden side within you.

“I want to kiss you so badly”, you whined.

“Why don’t you?”

Instantaneously, you pointed to your lips covered in deep ruby red.

“Ah”, he nodded understandingly. “Is it okay then if I do this?”, Hyunjin asked before kissing every inch of your collarbone, slightly sucking to mark his territory.

Hyunjin was a confident guy, knowing damn well that he was good looking and talented and still he felt conflicted at times. What if this was not enough? What if he was not enough for you? Since you were in your early dating stages, he never had vocalized his concerns, but his body did. His need to be near you, touch you and possess you was evident from the start.

“Jinnie, stop”, you giggled as you pushed him away.

Irritation grew on his face, not understanding why you were distancing yourself.

“I’m gonna be covered in marks that everyone is going to see”, you teased.

He felt his chest tighten. Did you not want others to see them? Did you want to be perceived as single? His own sparks of insecurity got ignited again, waiting to turn into a full-size fire.

The club was crowded with people of all kinds – dancers, jocks, hot models, a real feast for the eye. You were used to people turning their heads, especially when you were together with Hyunjin. It never bothered you that much since you knew how devoted he was to you.

“Can I tell you something?” You were laying on his chest, watching him breathe calmly. “Sure.” “I found your old DVDs in the basement, and I started watching them while you were at work. Binging them, really. And I saw something that really stuck with me”, he explained silently. “What was it?” “Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours”, he explained softly. You turned your head and gazed into his teary eyes. “We haven’t been together that long, I know. But this is exactly how I feel, y/n. I can’t imagine my life without you anymore. Cannot. Do not want to. Impossible.” You started tearing up as well, finally feeling at home with another soul. You placed a soft kiss on his plush lips and whispered: “I’ll be your Carry, baby.”

“Come dance with me”, you shouted as you pulled him to the dance floor. It was hot and sticky, but you didn’t mind, in fact you loved it like that. The music was energetic and vibrant, filling the whole room with energy and life force. You only had eyes for Hyunjin, watching his body move gracefully to the music. When he danced, he became one with the tunes, one with the movements. He smirked as he caught you staring, knowing damn well that you were weak for his dancing. As the song changed into a slower, sexier one you found yourself in front of him, grinding on his muscular body. All the other people were forgotten as you swayed your hips on him, feeling him getting hard behind you. His hands on your body and his hot breath on your neck was all you needed to know.

Hyunjin however was more prone to your surroundings. He enjoyed having you like that, but he hated sharing you with others. He was too aware of the other pair of eyes that was set on you. Like a reflex, he pulled you closer, grabbed a bit harder and provoked your surrender, demonstrating whom you belonged to.

“Fuck, baby, if you keep this up, we have to go”, you moaned into his ear.

“Let’s do that”, his whole face lit up. “Let’s get out of here, y/nnie.”

“But we just came?”, you whined in annoyance.

Hyunjin’s eyes darkened as his gaze pierced through you. Just like that, goosebumps formed on your skin, electricity cursed through your body making you feel all hot. He knew exactly what he was doing to you.

“I’m going to the bathroom really quick to fix this situation right here”, he said as he nodded to his crotch, “and when I come back, we leave, you hear me?”

You swallowed and nodded, already anticipating the night ahead.

“Good girl.”

He placed a kiss on your forehead and turned around, quickly looking for the bathroom.

You walked over to the exit and leaned against the cold wall, waiting for your boyfriend, already picturing him doing unspeakable things to you. You were so engulfed in your naughty daydreams that you didn’t even notice the guy from the dancefloor approaching you.

“Hey!”

“Oh, hi”, you replied politely.

“I saw you dancing earlier, damn you got moves!”, he complimented you.

“Thanks”, you replied drily.

“So uhm, would you like to have a drink with me?”

“No”, you shook your head.

“Why not?”

“Well, if you saw me dancing earlier you must have seen my boyfriend behind me, right? That’s why.”

“Shit, sorry. I kinda hoped that he was just another guy hitting on you.”

“Far from that.”

“He’s that great, huh?”

“Y/N”, Hyunjin called out angrily while glaring at the other guy.

You were taken aback by his tone, feeling anxious so you followed him without saying a word.

Fumingly, he marched to the car, while you were trying to keep up. Hyunjin placed both of his hands on the cold metal of the vehicle as he was trying to calm himself.

“Jinnie”, you called out softly.

“Don’t fucking call me that, y/n.”

“What?”

He turned around and faced you, his pupils were dilated, and his nostrils flared – he was angry as fuck.

“Don’t fucking call me that when you were flirting with some dickhead behind my back!”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Of course, I am. That bastard was eye-fucking you while we were dancing, and I left you alone for 5 minutes and you were already cozying up to him?”

“Cozying up to him? Cozying up to him? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“What? I know what I saw!”

“Enlighten me, then. What did you see?”

“I saw you all smiley and giggly, you were practically shooting heart eyes emojis at him! Is that why you hated me giving you hickeys on your collarbone? So, everybody could see you were available?!”

You felt the punch to your stomach, making it harder to breathe. Every single word of his was laced in the most painful accusation, one that you had been familiar with way too often.

“Yeah, you’re right. I was flirting back and shooting heart eyes emojis at him. It was so much fun! And I was damn grateful that my body was free of your damn hickeys!”, you retorted angrily.

Hyunjin was about to explode, not being able to differentiate between your lies and his perceived reality.

Wordless, he turned around and got into the car. You looked at him one last time, hoping that he would come to his senses – but he didn’t. The loud sound of his engine disturbed the quiet of the night and not seconds later he was gone.

What should have been a fun night out for a young couple turned into a vicious disaster. One was crying hiding in the dirty toilet of a club, while the other was crying racing down the highway. Promises of forever love turned into accusations of unfaithfulness, painting your rosy world of adoration into black loneliness.

You had no idea how you made it back home, nor did you care. The following day was torture – you were ruminating over everything, trying to understand what had happened yesterday. Deep sadness filled your whole being. Hyunjin did not call, nor text. He vanished out of your life, just like he vanished into the night air yesterday. Was that it? Was it over?

“Damn, you look like shit. Why are your eyes so puffy?”

Hyunjin pulled the covers over his head, trying to dissolve into thin air.

“Hey, come on. Talk to me”, his friend encouraged him.

“I may have made the biggest mistake of my life yesterday.”

“Oh my god, did you cheat on y/n?”

“What? No. Of course not. I would never do that”, he explained.

“What did you do then?”

“I accused her of cheating on me.”

“Shit, sorry.”

“Don’t be. This was the last time I let my demons take over”, he mumbled as he left his room.

By evening, you felt better – at least good enough to go for a walk and clear your head. Minutes after you left Hyunjin appeared at your door – holding a giant bouquet of flowers in his trembling hands. He rang your door hundreds of times, knocked on it until his knuckles were swollen and called out for you until his throat was sore. But nothing.

Defeated, he slid down to the ground and thought of what to do.

“Y/N, I made a big mistake yesterday. I am so sorry. I should have never accused you of shit like that.”

He was wiping away his tears again, the thought of loosing you made his heart break every single time.

“You see I’m not perfect. Far from it. Yet somehow you seem to think that way. And I just… I just wait for the shoe to drop. For you to finally realize that I’m nothing special.”

“Jinnie”, you called out his name while stopping in front of your apartment. His eyes widened in surprise, immediately followed by relief. “You didn’t open up because you hated me but because you weren’t home…”

“Don’t flatter yourself, hate is on the top of the list right now”, you glared angrily.

He lowered his head in defeat.

“Are those for me?”, you nodded to the bouquet of flowers.

“Yes.”

You opened the door and passed by him. “Put them in a vase, then.”

Surprised, he got up on his feet and followed you inside.

“Can we talk?”

You sat across from him, giving him the cold shoulder.

“Talk.”

“Y/N, I am sorry. Please believe me, I am so sorry. I was seeing things, I let my insecurities win and I accused you of shit you didn’t do. Please, forgive me.”

“What did you think happened there?”

“I saw you guys talking and then I saw red. Like, you were smiling from ear to ear, practically shooting heart eyes emojis at him. I just, I just saw red.”

You sighed deeply, finally understanding where he was coming from.

“You’re right. I was shooting heart eyes emojis at him.”

“What?” Hyunjin’s heart was about to explode.

“But only because I was talking about you, Jinnie. He asked me out for a drink, and I explained to him that I already found the greatest guy on earth. I was gushing over you, like a freaking fan girl.”

“He’s that great, huh?” “Oh my god, yes. He is the greatest. No really, he is great at everything. Dancing, painting, loving? The best. He is also the kindest and loveliest guy I ever met. Always caring for the ones he loves. Never a dull moment with him. He makes me laugh so much. I swear I got abs because of him. And did you see how handsome he is? Fuck me, it’s like God created him himself and brought him to earth, so we could adore him. Fucking masterpiece, that man.” “Okay, okay, I got it”, the guy gave up. “Must be one hell of a lover.” “One hell of a lover. One hell of a soul. My soul, actually.”

“I feel like the biggest idiot right now”, he admitted ashamed.

“Yeah, you should feel like that.”

“I’m sorry, y/nnie. Can you forgive me?”

Silence lingered between the two of you, only for a moment, until you got up and walked over to him. You put your arms around his lean torso and hugged him tightly, willing to put this past you.

Hyunjin’s body finally relaxed, as he hugged you back. His lips landed on the crown of your head, simply resting there, and holding you close.

“Jinnie, wait. There is something else you need to know.”

He released you from his grip and looked at you anxiously.

“What is it?”

“When I was younger, I got bullied for hickeys. My first boyfriend always left them on my neck and the others harassed me for it, calling me slut and all sorts of names. So, it’s true, I don’t like them being visible.”

Hyunjin’s heart broke once more – for one because you had to endure this harassment, but also because he bullied you himself.

“I’m sorry, y/nnie. I won’t do that ever again.”

“Wait, no. I love your hickeys. I love your lips on me, I really do. But can we, maybe, agree to leave hickeys in places only we can see?”, you asked shily.

Hyunjin chuckled and pulled you in for a kiss, promising to do just that.

“I really meant what I said. I can’t imagine my life without you. I really can’t.”

You grabbed his hands and squeezed them, agreeing you felt the same way.          “I feel like we should talk about your insecurities, but I’m drained from last night.”

“Let’s relax for now, baby.”

“What do you want to do?”

Hyunjin’s lips turned upwards, forming the loveliest yet sneakiest smile.

“Okay, fine. I get the popcorn and you switch on the TV. Sex and the city marathon it is”, you rolled your eyes at him teasingly.

[mrs-dot-kennedy]

Happy pride my lovelies. Her, have some sapphic angst as a treat!

As if you could stay - Camilla Macaulay

summary. one cannot live on love alone, especially not when it exists only hidden beneath the dark veil of night and secrecy.

paring. camilla macaulay x reader

warnings. internalised homophobia, doomed yuri, angst

Whatever you have is lived like this -in stolen moments away from prying eyes.

Under the sterile hum of the kitchen’s fluorescent lights, where shadows bloom under her cheekbones and her gold hair is piled lazily atop her head. Or in the hush of the library, where only one candle burns and dust dances like ash in the still air.

There are no declarations. No promises. Just fingertips brushing against yours under the heavy oak table in the library, the scent of old paper and beeswax between you. A hand cupping your jaw in the shadowed corridor, where the stone walls breathe cold air and secrets.

She’s always golden, Camilla. Like the sun. Even here, where the windows are half-shuttered and dust lingers in the shafts of light. Even in silence. Even in secret. She belongs more to myth than to the world you inhabit. A dryad half-remembered from a fever dream, all eyes and silence and grief tucked behind her chest, her voice a ribbon of something tender and elusive, and when she looks at you -really looks at you- you understand how men could go mad for less.

And yet.

“Do you want anyone to find out?” you ask one night.

It’s late. The others were gone -Richard in his room, Henry deep in his books, Bunny asleep, Charles and Francis wandering somewhere like smoke. And you’re here, half-sitting on the kitchen counter, her between your knees, your hands in her hair. You can smell gin on her breath, but her voice is cold when she pulls back.

“No.”

She doesn’t even pretend to hesitate.

You blink. Your hands fall to your sides. “Right.”

She touches your thigh lightly, as if to soothe the wound she’s just made. “It’s not that I don’t want this.”

“But you don’t want anyone to know.” You laugh -bitter and low. “You’re afraid of them seeing you like this. With me.”

Camilla’s jaw tightens. She doesn’t deny it. She never does.

It goes on like that. Always like that.

She reaches for you when the house is dark, when the doors are closed, when the lights are low and the wine is gone and the fire is dying. She kisses you like she means it, with hunger and reverence, but when you reach for her in daylight -she turns her face away.

Once, you grab her hand in the hallway. Just take it, natural as breathing. Her fingers stiffen. She jerks it back like you’ve burned her.

“I’m not ashamed,” she says quickly. “It’s just… complicated.”

“You’re ashamed,” you say. You don’t mean for your voice to crack.

She doesn’t deny it.

She tells you she doesn’t believe in happy endings. Not for people like you. Not in this world. She says this while lying beside you, skin still warm from you, her hair tangled across your chest like spun gold.

“I don’t want to be a secret,” you whisper.

She’s quiet a long time. Then: “You already are.”

You close your eyes.

“You want me to say I love you,” she says. “But I won’t.”

“I don’t want you to say it. I want you to mean it.”

Camilla sits up, and you see her silhouette against the moonlight -all long limbs and shadow. She reaches for her cigarette case. Her lips ghost across your cheek, barely a touch. “I do mean it. That’s why I won’t say it.”

You want to cry. You want to scream. But you do nothing, because you know her. Camilla belongs to everyone. Everyone but herself.

So you live like this.

In the stolen hours. In the half-light. In the press of her body against yours in the quiet places where no one looks.

She shines like the sun. You worship like a shadow.

She doesn’t come to you for days after that.

You see her with Francis, with Charles, laughing, brilliant, otherworldly. And you wonder how she does it. How she turns it off so easily. Like it didn’t matter. Like you didn’t matter.

But that’s the thing about her.

She’ll touch you like she means it. She’ll whisper your name like it’s sacred. She’ll run her hands over your hips like she’s memorizing them. But she’ll never stay. Not where people can see. Not where it becomes real.

You find her one night in the library again. The candlelight makes her look soft. Younger. Like she hasn’t ruined you yet. A single candle flickers on the desk beside you, its light throwing amber shadows across the spines of unread books.

Camilla is reading. Or pretending to. You can feel her not looking at you.

“You always find me when it’s dark,” you say.

“I thought you liked that about me,” she says, not looking up.

You sit across from her. “I used to.”

Camilla’s lips curl. “And now?”

“I want more.”

She looks at you, eyes narrowing -like you’re being unreasonable. Like asking to be loved in the open is asking for too much.

“You knew what this was,” she says.

“Did I?”

“You did.”

You stare at her, heart thudding. “I think you’re afraid that if anyone sees you with me, they’ll know something true about you.”

She stiffens. You’ve hit something raw.

“I’m not afraid,” she says. A lie.

You lean in across the table. “Good luck pretending that forever.”

She doesn’t answer.

She just stands. Crosses the floor. Kisses you slow, as if to apologize without saying a word. Her fingers tremble on your face.

But when the door creaks in the hallway -she pulls away.

You sit alone for a long time after that.

The candle burns down. The silence settles. The warmth of her mouth fades from your lips like a vanishing spell.

She loves you.

But not enough.

She never will.

And that’s the way it ends. Not with screaming. Not with betrayal. But with the quiet realization that she will keep choosing safety over you. Reputation over truth. Fear over feeling.

Camilla shines like the sun.

And you are always left in the dark.

[ireadwithmyears]

You’ll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline

written for the summer of bad batch 2024 challenge, week two. @summer-of-bad-batch

word count:1.4 K

prompt: injured

A swimming lesson on Pabu goes wrong. Luckily, Omega has great brothers who are there for her when her attempt to do something beyond her skill level to look impressive backfires. (Title lyrics are from Robin by Taylor Swift)

Tags/warnings: descriptions of minor injuries/blood, minor descriptions of medical procedures/stitches, fluff, hurt/comfort.

also read on AO3

Omega, I need to see it, kid. Just let me have a look.”

Echo’s voice is kind and even, but still holds the signature arc trooper “that was an order” tone that he uses when he’s asking for something non-negotiable. It holds absolutely no room for argument, in spite of how much she wants to

Hunter, for his part, is holding her in his arms, feeling her sniffling and whimper against his chest, and wondering what the hell happened. 

It had been a simple, straightforward swimming lesson, beneath Pabu’s serene skies and warm sun as they swam in calm waters. Omega already knew how, but her technique and endurance could use work. On an island, surrounded by water and waves and the opportunity, she had excitedly jumped at the suggestion when Tech had proposed it, seeing it as an alternative to her normal educational study time. He could tell that being surrounded by nature and so many new things to explore was making her antsy and unable to focus on her normal tasks. So this had been his compromise.

A compromise that he was quickly coming to regret, as he joggs back towards the Marauder to retrieve their medkit. 

They had taught her how to properly jump, off the side of the dock, always under careful supervision for now so that one of them could check the alignment of her toes before she jumps, to ensure its success on the takeoff. 

He cannot begin to understand what, exactly, had possessed her to attempt jumping off the side of the dock backwards when everyone’s back was turned, nor does he pretend to. 

“Come on, ad’ika. Echo just wants to have a look, that’s all,” Wrecker encourages, gently coaxing her face upward by cupping her cheek in one of his large hands, being very careful to avoid her chin.

Her chin that is now split open by a large gash from when it had collided against the hard dock, the result of not pushing back far enough when she had taken the jump.

Wrecker cringes at the site, letting out a sympathetic hiss and ruffling her still wet hair.

Echo, for his part, winces but is otherwise unfazed, having seen much worse as he carefully inspects the damage. “It’s deep enough to need stitches,” he reports, gently tilting her head back.

Her eyes, that had up until this point been leaking with silent tears, quiet sobs occasionally escaping her lips, go wide, and she sharply turns to bury herself back against Hunter’s chest, seeming to shrink and attempt to hide against him.

“No,” her voice is high-pitched and frantic with fear. “No. Hunter, I’m sorry, please don’t be mad. I didn’t mean to, please I don’t, I don’t want stitches please.” 

Her cries are insistent and pleading, words escaping in a rush that he’s pretty sure he can only understand because of his enhanced senses, and his heart breaks for her, even as he shakes his head regretfully.

“Hey, no, hey, shh. I’m not mad, Omega. I promise, no one is mad at you. You just made a mistake, kiddo, that’s all, happens to all of us,” he soothes, words whispered softly against her forehead as he holds her to him, gently rocking her back and forth. “But, kid, there’s no avoiding stitches. It won’t be able to heal properly without them.”

“B but that still means needles,” she whimpers, and he’s not sure if she’s trembling so violently because the water has made her cold, or if she’s genuinely that scared. Regardless, before he has room to answer, Tech is there, unpacking supplies with a practiced, familiar ease of someone who’s done this many times before.

“Which is why I will ensure you are sufficiently numbed beforehand,” he interjects.

She doesn’t mean to flinch away from Tech, really, she doesn’t. She knows it’s Tech, it’s her brother, and he’s going to keep her safe and ensure that her injury is treated with the upmost of care.

But being raised as a Kaminoen science experiment, the familiar sound of the catch the medkit makes as it opens makes her entire body go rigid, stiffening within hunters arms as she hides her face against his shoulder, heedless of the blood. She must make some sort of noise, some pathetic whimper that she is beyond caring about, because Hunter, his hand gentle as it cups the back of her head and smoothes over her hair, speaks softly.

“Come on, ner cyar,” he coaxes, gently shushing her noise of protest as he moves to re-situate her in his lap, holding her with her back pressed against his chest, his arms wrapping around her securely. “Tech isn’t gonna let anything bad happen to you, sweet,” he promises, only feeling her settle when his lips press to the top of her head, leaving several soft kisses just to pull The ghost of a smile out of her.

“I d didn’t mean to,” she repeats, sniffling softly as she looks up at Tech, eyes watery.

“I would imagine not,” he says dryly, using a cotton pad to gently dab numbing gel over the long, jagged cut. “One would assume that you would not intentionally smash your chin off a hard wooden dock while attempting to jump off the side of it backwards,” he quips, and there’s an amusement in his voice that makes her giggle in spite of herself, his lips almost imperceptibly pulling into a smile when he hears it.

Her cheeks flush with embarrassment, and she averts her eyes.

“We all make mistakes and errors in judgment, Omega,” he says steadily, carefully beginning to clean the wound, removing small splints of wood and debris from the dock with a set of tweezers, observing her face for any signs of discomfort as he works.

“You don’t,” she points out, raising a sceptical eyebrow at him.

Tec Looks thoughtful as he responds, gently dabbing at the cut with a disinfectant. 

“Perhaps, the errors I make are not as frequent nor perceptible discrepancies now,” he allows. “But that does not mean that I am in fallible. I can assure you, I am not above making mistakes, despite my exceptional mind often times preventing me from making such errors,” he says with a smile. “And perhaps Wrecker can regale you with some of my most noteworthy risks that I thought had been calculated at the time, but in hindsight, were not as well thought out as I had initially intended.”

Wrecker, who is a naturally energetic and engaging storyteller, takes the hint, observing his brother reaching for the local anaesthetic. He leans forward with a mischievous gleam in his eye, gaining the child’s focus and holding it so well that she doesn’t even notice when Tech

Injects around the cut with the numbing agent. 

Tech issues a soft warning as he prepares to thread the needle through, asking her to tell him if she feels any discomfort Beyond slight pulling and pressure, so that he may administer more local anesthetic, if needed. She nods, eyes nervous and wary, but as promised, she has been sufficiently numbed. 

They get through the sutures easily this way, his brothers occasionally chiming in to add in details, or Tech, eyes never leaving the wound as he closes it intently, corrects something one of them had said that was, in his opinion, extremely over exaggerated, or factually just entirely wrong.

The brothers, all working together to describe their days as cadets, outlining their own mistakes they had made and stupid injuries they had gotten as a result, are so good at keeping her occupied, that at several points, Tech has to remind her to keep her chin still in spite of her urge to laugh or smile, patiently pulling the sutures through her skin.

When he’s finished, expertly tying a knot at the end of the row of sutures to hold them together, he gives her a smile. 

“Well done, Omega,” he says softly. “You did well.” 

She sniffs, giving him a small smile and a knot before pressing her head back against Hunter’s chest, looking up at him after a moment with pleading tooka eyes, still watery with the remnants of tears and even before she asks, he knows he won’t be able to say no to whatever she’s about to beg for.

“Did did I do well enough to deserve an ice cone as a treat?” She asks, voice small and hopeful.

“Yes,” Tech is the one to respond, voice matter-of-fact but pleased smile on his face. “I believe that an ice cone would be an acceptable reward.” 

Hunter lets out an exaggerated grown, pretends to roll his eyes and smack a hand against his forehead in defeat, then picks her up into his arms, holding her close. 

“If it’s ice cones you want,” he grumbles playfully, gently bouncing her just to hear her laugh and smile. “Then ice cones you shall have.”

[hanjisunglover]

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌 - Han Jisung

pairing: han jisung x chubby fem!reader

genre: fluff, best friends to lovers

summary: y/n always hated her body, she doesn't like her thick thighs, or the way her tummy looks, her arms, her face more round than the others. she tried so much to change in the years but every diet was nothing, jisung on the other side loves her with all of her heart.

Jisung it's like your safe space.

You know that with him you feel safe, he's not gonna judge you if you wear a pair of shorts, he's not gonna stare at you with different eyes if you're changing in front of him, because you guys knows each other since you guys were middle school. You can tell that the way that he's looking at you that he's feeling safe and comfortable too. But..

But you still feel like someday, he's gonna wake up and change his mind, deciding to leave your side. To walk out of your life like nothing really happened and you're gonna be heartbroken after loosing your only friend and only person that you ever loved.

That what insecurity is. You feel like everything it's fine for a short time, and then your thoughts are sticking in your mind, filling your mind with things that normally you wouldn't thinking about jisung or you.

You are in front of the mirror, your shirt lightly move up to reveal your tummy, chubbier than other people. Your thighs that are thick and something that you always felt insecure in, covering them with long and baggy pants. Your hips that are more curvy than others, you just feel that everything on you it's too much. too much to handle, too much to love.

"y/n? whatcha doin?" Jisung's voice makes your shirt goes down again and your cheeks slowly get red, he caught you as you were hating every single inch of your skin. "nothin, waiting for you."

His eyebrow moves up, giving you a suspicious face that you wash off with a fake smile, you move your shirt as down as possible. "you're being weird, why?"

You shake your head, walking toward the bed as you press your lips together, squeezing your thick thighs together, just the movement makes jisung blush. He loves the feeling of your skin against his, it's just refreshing for him. He put his phone away and he sits next to you, with a light smile.

That's when you start to talk, "I just, you know that I don't like my body," jisung's hand reach your thigh, squeezing it in his fingers as he pass his thumb over and over your smooth and warm skin. Because just the touch makes him feel so alive. "yeah and literally I don't understand why."

His chuckles surprises you, his hand feels so good against your skin that you almost forgot what you were so mad about your self. "what? you cannot be serious, this is gross-"

"This, is what I love the most about you," His voice it's like honey straight out from the battle, making you blush because you never thought that Jisung could see you like that, "it's, cute.. and ugh, adorable. it's soft, I can hold so much when I hug you."

He moves his arms around your waist, making you blush harder when he gets so close to you, his head lean on your shoulder as you get so shy and blushy, "you.. are damn gorgeous, pretty girl."

"I'm not," you whispers, almost too quiet for him to actually get what you said but it's fine, cause jisung always knows what to do or say to make you feel right. He stroke your back with one hand as he lift you up like nothing, "w-woah.. hey let me go."

Your eyes are wide open as you look at him, your cheeks red as he place you on his lap, you try your best to let you not totally on his thighs, to not let him really feel how heavy you can be. His hands finish on your hips pushing you down. "Sit damn comfortably y/n, com'on it's just me."

He murmurs as he moves some hair from the way, looking in your eyes with a deep affection, your breath get sharply as you try to not say anything back; cause it's a real dead war. You're never gonna change his mind about that, he's too stubborn. "listen I, I really love you. Not because of your body - even if I love this damn curves more than you can imagine - or because your look. I love you because you are you. I love you. I love your talk. the way that you explain things to me even if I already know them, the little giggle that you make when I share music with you. Your fingers between my hair, you're sing when I play the guitar, you are the movies that you quote and the smile in your face. you're my person."

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 5 part 5

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

jen just shakes her head, bitter and not in the least surprised at what agatha did

meanwhile agatha is... she's just devastated

billy is the only person in the room who has never experienced and still doesn't comprehend the finality of death

agatha runs, she can't do anything else. rio is the only one that cares.

she looks so pathetic in that getup. her behaving like a little girl is not so funny anymore, is it?

as always, rio watches her. she has a lot to think about after this trial.

but alice needs her undivided attention now. lady death has to clock in.

I'm glad that we keep focusing on agatha's reaction. she used to be able to kill people and shake it off (or at least pretend to). she cannot shake alice off

and it was all for a tiny spark of magic. that is all that's left of alice on the mortal plane

when billy confronts her she visibly recoils and shrinks in on herself, like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar

one hand on her own heart, one on billy's heart. like she's begging and willing him to understand

it's not: you lied. it's you lied to me. it's personal. it's the trust he had in a mentor and mother figure, irrevocably broken

agatha never lies to billy. she's shitty with him in many other ways, but she doesn't lie

billy, honey. you set out on a road trip with a literal serial killer.

agatha had this mad fantasy of billy and her becoming a family, a coven two. and of course she went and ruined it. she always does

jen has all her walls firmly up, she won't allow herself to grieve for alice. she's still on the verge of walking a dark path, and agatha is the one pushing and pushing her toward it

lilia, who has lost and grieved so many, is just numb with pain. Death is unstoppable. hey guys, remember the first three episodes? when everything seemed so fun and carefree?

to billy witches were spellbooks and broomsticks and hot topic eyeliner. how do you explain to a kid the ugliness and violence and trauma that will inevitably fester in a marginalized, repressed community?

from the mouth of a child. she might have killed alice by accident. she has been deliberately and systematically killing many more to serve her own agenda.

and what agatha does, when confronted with ugly truths? she runs, and if she can't run, she goes all in with the spectacle and the cruelty

she could have picked any moment to talk about wanda. she could have broken the news gently, eased billy into understanding what he's been doing. now she's just lashing out in anger and fear and pain. billy did just put her through hell, but she's still the only adult of the two, no matter how immature she wishes to act

when push comes to shove, when it all becomes too much, agatha will latch to her self-preservation instincts and choose to protect herself over anyone else, even the people she loves. She's doing it with billy, she's doing it with rio. I'd argue that she did it with nicky, too.

hey, hey agatha, remember what happened the last time you poked a chaos witch with a stick? you dumb idiot.

fucking around meets finding out etc etc etc etc

boy is she SCREAMING. this bitch will never go down quietly, she'll snivel and cry like the sad pathetic creature she is

and the parallels and the irony of billy hurting jen and lilia in his grief.

do you guys laugh too when bille ellish pops in?? I love how agatha later says that billy is dramatic because he's a maximoff. honey, wanda was only ever coming up with cute sitcom scenarios. this is all your doing, you and your dramatic ass. this is your son. drama queen and drama queen in training.

go to episode 6 part 1

[lastoneout]

I actually do think like the basis of the argument biphobes use about bi people only facing homophobia and never facing any backlash when we are single or in an m/f relationship is because they just fundamentally do not understand what bisexuality actually is and don't care to correct that.

Bi people have been screaming forever about how we aren't half and half anything, we are an entire new identity based on being attracted to multiple genders, but the queer biphobe doesn't believe that. They see us as half gay and half straight. Without even realizing it they are openly admitting they do not listen to bi people when we talk about our identity and then they weaponize their willful ignorance to harm AND silence us at the same time.

They do not conceptualize us as a new identity, we're basically just a fucking math problem to them(and since these types also tend to lean aphobic and truscum and radfem they think of all oppression like a math problem, but I digress). Like their logic goes: no one hates people in straight relationships but they do hate gay ones, and gay people obviously would never hate another gay person for being gay just like straight people would never hate you for being straight, so you are clearly only experiencing homophobia and maybe some misogyny and that ONLY comes from cishet people, any "bigotry" coming from the queer community is just you being a whiny homophobic loser with passing privilege who is pretending to be oppressed and mad gay people don't want to date you because again, you can only be hated for your gay half and gay people don't(or can't) hate other gay people for being gay.

But there's no math to do. You can't do math on oppression anyway, but bi people are not half anything. Again, we are a whole new identity in of itself. "Half gay and half straight" is not the definition we use, we have almost NEVER used it except in like, jokes and memes and shit. The way we define ourselves is as people who expirience attraction to two or more genders, and that doesn't even always mean being attracted to both men and women! There are loads of genders, bi doesn't inherently mean men and women and thus "half gay half straight" can NEVER be a definition that encompasses all of us. And you'd KNOW that if you actually LISTENED to us.

We are hated because our society still expects people to be attracted to one gender. Even in monosexual queer spaces there is the expectation that you only like women or only like men or only like nonbinary/genderqueer people, you HAVE to pick one. Refusing is deviation from the norm and is punished with violence and exclusion and bigotry from BOTH sides. And until biphobes can finally get their heads out of their asses and actually LISTEN to us when we do something as basic as DEFINE WHO WE ARE ON OUR OWN TERMS WITH OUR OWN LANGUAGE they will never be able to accept the existence of biphobia or their ability to take part in it.

They don't believe it exists because deep down, they don't believe bi people exist. We're just two identities in a trenchcoat, that can be easily divided with simple oppression math. We are not whole people with a whole new identity, we're a gay person and a straight person trapped in the same body, pretending to be something we aren't, facing "half" the oppression, if that(OR we're really just a confused gay or straight person who will figure it out eventually and give up that "bi" nonsense). And they don't care if they're wrong because that would mean they're bigoted and doing harm and they can't possibly accept that they are capable of being bigoted and causing harm, especially to other queer people.

Anyway, listen to bi and other multisexual people when we talk about our identities and problems. It's not hard. We're begging for people to take us and our problems seriously instead of pretending we don't exist or trying to fit us into a framework that cannot fully express our existence and acting like that means we can't be oppressed for being attracted to multiple genders. And tbh I don't think that being biphobic is something you can't come back from, but you have to sit down, shut up, LISTEN TO US, realize that you don't fully understand what you're talking about, accept that you have held harmful beliefs, and then work to be better.

It's hard, but bi people need allies. So please, at the very least just listen to us when we tell you who we are and what we go through. Just listen.

[starryevermore]

the house of snow (28) ✧ coriolanus snow

the house of snow ✧ a royal coryo au | pinterest board| ao3

pairing: king!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

series summary: the king of panem is in search of a bride. and, for reasons you can never understand, coriolanus snow has set his sights on you. it would never be a happy marriage, you’re sure of that. but none of that matters, because when snow decides he wants something, he will do everything in his power to ensure it is his. 

chapter summary: coriolanus finally goes to the cottage.

word count: 1,157

series warnings?: 18+ MINORS DNI, royal au, regency au, arranged marriage, rivals to lovers, obsessive!coryo, jealous!coryo, protective!coryo, eventual smut, eventual pregnancy, more tags to be added later

chapter warnings?: a shorter chapter, angsty, pet name (petal), not proofread

You haunted every corner of the palace. Coriolanus Snow could not escape you. You had been gone for nearly two months now, but your presence remained. In the early days, Coriolanus had been appreciative for that. While he was scared out of his wits of what may happen to you at the cottage, at least it still felt like you were near. Like you were still guiding his hand in all the work he did. Yet, the longer that this went on, the deep ache in his chest became more and more pronounced until he was certain he was going to die from the pain. Damn you for taking the physician with you. (He doesn’t mean that.) 

Everywhere he turned, he hoped to see you. He never did, save for the few portraits you were able to sit for before leaving the palace. Coriolanus often found himself at his desk, staring at your portrait, begging you for guidance. He hated that the only answer he could imagine in your voice was to come to you, to set his pride aside and be with you. Coriolanus would, if he could. But if he was going to lose you in the same place he lost his mother, he would rather not be there. He couldn’t be there. Even if it killed him.

His advisors were beginning to grow concerned. A King should not be so worried about his wife that he neglects the rest of his kingdom, they believed. To hell with them. They did not have wives like you.

The only thing saving Coriolanus from descending into madness was the weekly updates from your physician. He was sure the physician was updating him behind your back, which should have enraged him. You were his Queen. If you gave an order, it should be followed. But Coriolanus was also a man desperate for any sign that you were okay, that you come through this alive. The letters have become well worn from how often Coriolanus would fold and unfold them, trace the letters with his fingers, search for any sign that he needed to put his foot down.

It finally came.

Coriolanus, a man who wore a mask of neutrality well, felt that mask slip when a messenger came running into the palace as he was making his way to have breakfast. The Peacekeepers immediately barred the messenger from traveling closer to the King, concerned about any harms that may befall His Majesty. But when the messenger cried out that it was a letter from you, Coriolanus was pushing the Peacekeepers out of the way. 

He barely spared the messenger a second glance as he snatched the envelope from his hands, ripping it open and reading the contents. 

Coriolanus,

I am no longer giving you a choice in the matter. You are to come to Thorn’s Grove with haste. I may have been wrong in my stubbornness, but I will not allow you to miss the birth of our child. If I should perish, I cannot allow you to be so cruel as not see me one last time. And, if I am being frank, it might be. I shall spare you the details. The physician will have written them in the report that accompanies my letter. All I shall say is that I want you here. I demand that you come. I have made a mistake, but I am begging you to be here. 

Please.

“Your Majesty?” one of the staff said.

But Coriolanus could not hear him. His entire focus, his entire attention, was on the fact that you were hurt. You were hurt, and he was not with you. Damn you. Damn you for being so far away from him. And damn him for letting you go. Damn him for not following after you all those weeks ago. His fingers trembled as he reached to pull out the letter from the physician. 

No. No, that would take too much time. He had to get to you now.

“I need to leave.”

“We will ready a carriage—” someone said. 

Coriolanus was already marching to the stables to get a horse himself. There was no time for a carriage. His petal needed him, and he would be damned if he denied you of that. 

Coriolanus was sure he looked like a right mess as he rode up to the cottage, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Nothing mattered except for making sure you were okay. When the cottage finally came into view, he slowed the horse and nearly leapt off. He ignored the looks the staff gave him as he came through the door. Ignored how quiet everything was. Too quiet. 

He took the stairs to your room two at a time. His heart was racing. He could hear the blood pumping in his ears. Fuck, why was it so quiet? When he reached your door, he paused, trying to collect himself. It would not end well if he burst in, in panic. You were hurting, and Coriolanus needed to be a calm, stable pillar in your life. He could panic later. Right now, he was here for you. 

And yet, as he twisted the knob, pushed open the door, his heart stopped. 

You laid in that big bed, hair fanned out over the pillows, the color leeched from your skin. Coriolanus watched you carefully, trying to ascertain if there was a gentle, nearly imperceptible rise and fall of your chest. Was he too late? Did he get the letter too late? Coriolanus stumbled forward, sinking to his knees by your side. He grasped for your hand—your cold, cold hand. He brought it to his lips, pressed kisses along your knuckles, tried to warm you with his breath. 

“Petal?” he asked. 

“Coryo, I’m sorry—”

Just as quickly as he took your hand, Coriolanus dropped it. He was on his feet in a flash, turning to the source of that damned voice. How dare he. How dare he be here. How dare he be at your side. How had he even gotten here?

“I was stationed at the nearby base. When she went into labor, the physician needed an extra set of hands. I volunteered because I figured you would rather a friend be at her side, to give her some comfort. I’m sorry—”

Coriolanus swung his fist. It connected with Sejanus’s jaw. Too in shock to catch himself, Sejanus stumbled back, hit the floor. Coriolanus followed after him, landing punch after punch until blood began to stain his knuckles. Sejanus did not try to fight back, only begged for him to stop. With every plea, you did not move. Did not give any sign of life. The rage coursing through his veins slowly began to dissipate, and Coriolanus crawled back to your side. He gripped your hand, brought it up to his cheek, and fluttered his eyes shut. 

“You promised me, petal. You promised.”

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

Further proof of Our King's anxiety and trauma: His body language. He has a habit of putting his hands behind his back. It's a self-soothing and self-preservation gesture. But then when he's more relaxed, he doesn't do that.

Case in point: Look when he meets Asha. At first you don't see his hands. They're behind his back. When he does bring a hand out briefly, it goes behind his back again. But when he warms up to her, his hands come out.

The same goes with when he's addressing his people about the magic. His hands are behind his back, and they stay there unless he brings one hand out to do something and then he puts it right back. He's uncomfortable, he's guarded and it shows.

Which is why his people should have known that something was VERY wrong when he came out on stage possessed. His body language was VERY different. He was stumbling around drunk, but his hands were both visible. His body language had drastically changed because he was essentially inebriated on dark magic. That should have been a BIG clue in that something was WRONG, not that the king was suddenly evil.

YES! THIS! 🤌🏼

I've been stressing from the beginning about this! While hands loosly clasped in the back can be a sign of confidence and relaxtion, Magnifico's way of hiding his arms is different most of the time.

Now, I have always been good at reading people but then I studied psychology for a while and trauma conditions, the mental impact it has and how it shows.

Magnifico oozed trauma the very first minute I saw him. And when he mentioned what happened, plus the burned wall-rug, I knew it was deep! All his behavior clicked for me.

That is also a big part why haters villanizing him gets me fuming mad. If I was to follow their logic, then Elsa is a villain for running away and leaving her kingdom to freeze die, or Maui, who stole Tefiti's heart and caused destruction, or abuela Alma, for treating Mirabel like trash, or Imelda for forbitting music in her family, Abuela Elena for smashing Miguels guitar!

The hypocrisy is off the charts!

And the worst thing is exactly what you mentioned last. The people of Rosas not being able to see that something was horribly wrong with their king. He was so clearly not himself and no one gave a toot. It's easy to explain though. The didn't know their own king and nor did they care. All they cared about was their wishes. Their needs. Their desires. Magnifico was just their source for favors and when that well ran dry, they dropped him like a stone. Talking about selfishness!

Magnifico was never evil. Did he make some wrong choices because of his trauma? Yes. But nothing he ever did made him a villain. The only villain there was, was the book! The book, or rather, the evil force/entitiy in in! And yes, we saw that demon-thing drawn on the page. Not to forget the green clawed hands! No, magic itself isn't a conscious living, thinking being, it's a supernatural ability used by a fessel. And as a christian I can tell you the only thing behind "dark magic" are demons.

You will see this whole topic deeper explained in the upcoming cooperation post "the Magnifico case". But here is a little thing from it.

This isn't Magnifico

This is!

This isn't him

This is!

The fact that people cannot differentiate between this and understand what a possession is ...

Anyway. Anothing very interesting thing I wanna draw attention to is what comes out of Magnifico's mouth once he is full on possessed. He says things that are 100% contradictory to everything he stood for and fought for.

See the reflection thing in the fountain? It's where the quote "I win!" Falls! Why is this so deeply unsettling? Because there is nothing he won! All Magnifico ever truly wanted was happiness and savety for others around him. Magnifico's trauma had caused him to be immensly fearful and paranoid when it came to the savety of others because what happened to him left scars in his soul as deep as a canyon and he wanted no one else to ever have to suffer like he did. He didn't want power, he didn't want fame! He only wanted what's best for others and in return get some love and respect for what he did. Which, yes, he deserved anyway!

Back to my two cents of my christian opinion. It's pretty clear that the evil side does nothing but steal, kill and destroy. It's all it ever wants. To hurt and wreck. That thing that has been trapped in that book must have waited eagerly for who knows how long to get a victim it can use to destroy and use to destroy. So when that thing had taken control over Magnifico's clear consciousness, it obviously said "I won!"

Even sadder is that we could see the exact moment, the entity leaves Magnifico and he is left with confusion and panic because all he sees are the wishes floating away into the nightsky.

Also, where did the green enter and leave? Into and from his heart!

This is the same fear only increased!

And NO! God NO! It is not "Ah, no, I don't wanna lose my power and control over the people because I'm a malicious beast and I wallow in their suffering and enjoy them not being able to make one of their wishes come true!"

No. Just. No. This is ignorant, this is stupid nonsense. This is seeing evil where there is none. This is villanizing trauma!

And then some people go "Oh God, what a monster! What a evil man! Poor kid! It deserves to swim! How dare he not let the kid swim!"

Compare this to a father, who previously had lost a brother or even his first child to a drowning accident. Now the next child is old enough to swim and is running towards the water. Everyone knows the kid will jump in, swim and have fun, but all the father can think of is the potential danger of his child drowning as well. Maybe it will get a cramp, or a shark will bite it, or it gets stung by a jellyfish, steps on a venomous sea urchin, gets a heart attack, gets pulled away by a current ...

You see where I'm going?

And then the father runs, sweaps the child in his arms and forbids it to go near the water and swim because it is too dangerous. He tells his child.

"You stay here with me, as long as I deem it saver! I'm your father, it is my responsibility to keep you as safe as I can! I only want the best for you!"

And of course the child is pouty.

"

"Well, if there is a shark, it can be stopped. I might just bite one leg off of the child ...oh well...The father clearly doesn't know what he's doing! And I must know, I don't even have children!"

"Everyone call the police! Let's put this father behind bars! He's so cruel and abusive to his poor child!"

"And good heavens! He snapped at the child for saying it is old enough to decide if it wants to swim or not! And he replied that he decides if the child swims or not! What a narcissistic psychopath! He needs to be stopped!"

Anyway, I'm very excited to soon share that big boy of a post with you, where I dive into each and every aspect as deep as ever with the help of Magnificolover from instagram. 🎶

How does that sound? And now imagine one of these judgemental, entiteled, selfrighteous, ignorant people calling the police. And the police arrests the man and no one at the beach does anything. No one thinks "wait a minute! This is wrong!"

I can already smell the haters cooking new arguments 😂 feeling snubbed at their toes cause we defenders are right! And you know what? We will only get louder! We are already the vast majority! Including children!

They're mad at us and our defense? Good! Maybe then it is time to ask themselves why it is that the majority is on Magnifico's side! Or why children starting by the age 5 (my cousins son for example) can clearly conclude that the only reason Mags went nuts is because of the evil book. Better yet, they see that Asha and the people of Rosas are in the wrong how they treat their king. And children are brutally honest.

Stay loud my fellow defenders! 🔥