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luxora · 1 year

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Red Velvet -> {CEO AU} -> Co-parenting

Requested: No

Group: Red Velvet

Genre: Angst. Fluff.

Warnings: Mentions of infidelity. Mentions of joint and sole custody. Some swearing.

Irene

RING!

Joohyun couldn’t help but glare at the offending sound of her work phone on her desk, disturbing the peaceful bubble that she had created for herself as she worked through the new designs that had finally been submitted to her by the architects. She silently marked the the design she was currently reviewing before she leaning over and plucked the phone off its body, bringing it to her ear with an annoyed huff.

“Bae speaking.”

“Where the fuck were you?”

The sound of her spouse immediately shot ice through Joohyun’s body, shock quickly filling her as the sound of your voice tingled through all her sense, making her suddenly sit upright in her desk chair despite already having a perfect posture.

“Y-Y/N?”

“Who else?” You hissed from your side of the phone, a the sound of something dropping following your words, causing you to let out a curse before you huffed again. “Where the fuck were you?”

“What do you-”

“Areum waited for you for three hours Joohyun! Why the hell didn’t you pick her up from school!”

Joohyun’s eyes widened at your words, her head snapping to the large clock she had in her office wall, the blood draining from her face as she realized the clock hands were three places ahead of the time she had intended to leave to pick up her daughter from school. She then looked back at her desk, finally realizing the large amount of paperwork that was covering her desk. She couldn’t even see the surface of her clear, glass desk, she couldn’t even see a glimpse of her dark mahogany flood through her desk.

“I...Y/N...” She had started, her mind flurried in multiple thoughts as she tried to think of a reasonable explanation for her to be forgetting your and her daughter at school, but then you interrupted her with a scoff.

“Let me guess, got caught up in work again? Did that work include a blonde with long legs and a tight pencil skirt?”

Joohyun immediately ducked her head, her own body almost shriveling up on its own from the implication of your words. She couldn’t help but bite down hard on her bottom lip, her mind flashing back to the time when she lost control over her life and then eventually did lose it when you had found out about the ‘work’ which was keeping her from coming home to you and Areum.

“...Nothing of the sort happened Y/N. I can promise you that.” She said, her hand tightening into a fist as she stared into her lap. She heard you scoff.

“Yeah right.”

“I fired her Y/N. Nauen is not-”

“I don’t want to hear that bitch’s name Joohyun. I don’t care if you are or not fucking her. I just want you to be fucking there for Areum.”

“I am there for her!” Joohyun suddenly exclaimed, defensiveness immediately filling her as she thought about her beautiful 9-year old daughter, her dark hair as soft and sleek as her own, while her eyes were large and bright like yours. She was the perfect combination of both of you, although Joohyun did like to think she looked a little bit more like her. Areum certainly was Joohyun’s baby twin when she was a newborn.

“And yet today I got a phone call in a middle of a meeting from our crying daughter, begging me to pick her up because Mommy had forgotten her again. Are you telling me that is you being there for her?”

“...”

Joohyun didn’t know what she could say to rectify the situation. She messed up again, and she had promised herself the last time she had forgotten about Lia that she would not do it again. She had promised you, telling you that it would the literal last time she would forget. And yet she just proved once again that her word hardly meant anything anymore. It most definitely did not mean anything to you anymore.

The face of her daughter filled her head, her beautiful eyes filled with tears, along with her puffy cheeks being painted with the salty drops as she called you, heartbreak obvious in her voice because Joohyun was unable to fulfill her maternal responsibility to be there to pick her up during a difficult time. Her actions had already caused so much hard to Lia, and she was only making it worse through small actions like this.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” She heard you scoff on the other side of the phone.

“Yeah, sure.”

“I am! I am sorry Y/N, I will make it up to her. And to you.”

“How? By making yet another empty promise? Forget it Joohyun, I am not going to keep breaking Areum’s heart like this anymore.”

The way that you had said that made Joohyun’s blood freeze in her veins. Joohyun subconsciously tightened her grip on her work phone as she swallowed the building bile in her mouth as a means to try steady herself from the oncoming scenarios that were filling her head in reaction to your phone.

“What do you mean by that?” She asked carefully, trying to not show the building nerves that were climbing up her throat. She heard you huff on the other side.

“I’m changing the agreement. I want sole custody.“

“No.” Joohyun immediately answered, her body unable to remain still at your words as she shot up from her seat and began to pace away from her desk, her nails digging into her palm as she tightened her fist. “You can’t do that. I won’t allow it.”

You scoffed again.

“You are not in the position to suddenly stop things from happening.”

“You can’t take Areum from me. I can make it up to her.”

“Until you do it again to her! Face it Joohyun, you can’t be there for Areum, I can!”

“I can be there for her! And for you!”

Desperation and outrage was clawing at Joohyun’s chest, making itself obvious in her voice as she slammed her hand against her her cabinet which happened to contain the alcoholic beverages she would at times share with business associates when they worked late on designs, or with you when the two of you were still...together.

“Stop living in a delusion Joohyun. You can’t and you won’t.”

“She’s my daughter!”

“Our daughter, but as of late she has just become mine.”

Joohyun gritted her teeth tightly, pressure building up behind her eyes while her bottom lip began to tremble. She could not stand this conversation any longer. Joohyun grabbed her bag without a second of hesitation and darted out her office, uncaring of the work she left on her desk. She just needed to get to you and Areum, she needed to get this sorted out.

“I’m coming over. I need to set this straight with you. And Areum.”

“Joohyun, don’t you even think about-”

“I am doing it Y/N! I won’t lose the two of you any more than I already have!”

Joohyun hung up the phone and hurried into the elevator, slamming her finger against the ground floor level repeatedly until the metal doors closed. She needed to get to you as soon as she could. She could not lose Areum or you any more than she already has. She has to make it up to the two of you, most particularly Areum.

Seulgi

... It was too awkward.

Seulgi and you had yet to share a single glance with one another as the two of you sat in the principle’s office, both of you with your legs and arms crossed as you waited patiently for the principle to return from his brief meeting outside with his secretary. Seulgi couldn’t help but tap her fingers against her arm, trying to keep her mind somewhat occupied in order to avoid starting a conversation with you which could lead to two different directions: tears or screams.

Even though she was given some kind of small warning that you were going to be in attendance of the private meeting too by her secretary, she still found herself vastly unprepared in seeing you face-to-face, especially since you still looked as beautiful as the day you had kicked her out your and her shared apartment. Even when furious, you were delightfully beautiful, but Seulgi could not stand the distance between the two of you. The two of you had been married for over ten years, and a little extra during your dating years, but now it was as if there was an invisible abyss between the two of you, pulling you further and further away from one another.

When the principle eventually returning to his office, Seulgi couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief because the silence in the room would finally be put to an end. Seulgi readjusted her sitting position to appear more straight and controlled, waiting expectantly for the principle to start speaking as he took a seat and looked at the both of you.

“Mrs and Mrs Kang, lovely to see the two of you albeit I wish it had been under different circumstances.”

You immediately stiffened at the principle’s addressing of you, immediately making Seulgi tense defensively at your reaction, especially since the two of you have hardly made your separation known to the public. The two of you were in a fickle position, having being partners in marriage and business and it was not exactly easy for the two of you to separate yourselves entirely from one another, especially since both your and Seulgi’s families business merged when the two of you had married. While it was previously believed that the two of you had married for the sake of the merge, it was quite the opposite as the two of you had genuinely fallen in love before the idea of marriage was brought to the table.

But then things quickly became mucked up between the two of you when the business got in the way of the marriage.

“So do we.” You had answered in return, answering for the both of them as Seulgi made no effort to acknowledge the principle. She instead offered him a nod, prompting him to clear his throat before he laced his fingers together and placed them on top of his desk.

“Right, so as you might have been informed by my secretary, there was a small...incident that involved your son and another student.”

“An incident?’ Seulgi asked, crossing her legs and fixing the principle with a fixed look. He nodded.

“Yes, it appears that your son and his classmate were caught in a verbal argument before its escalated into a physical fight.”

“A fight...with Jinyoung?”

You were shocked at the news, your voice making it very obvious. Seulgi glanced at you and noticed your jaw was slightly ajar, your posture much straighter than before. Seulgi couldn’t help but share in your shock. Jinyoung was such a quiet boy, it was very unlike him to become aggressive and get into a fight.

“Yes ma’am. As you know, our school has a zero-tolerance for violence. I am afraid that this incident risks for Jinyoung to possibly be suspended, or even expelled.”

Seulgi’s eyes widened at the principle’s words, uncrossing her legs adn leaning forward on the edge of her seat.

“Surely that is a bit severe for a small fight between two children.” Seulgi started, but the principle fixed her with a look.

“It was not small Mrs Kang. Your son and his classmate disrupted the class entirely, one of their female classmates were even hurt in the incident because of their physical exchange. I cannot treat this lightly.”

“I understand that, but you cannot treat it so severely that our eight year-old son always has a permanent record all because of something that was said between him and his classmate.” Seulgi retorted, her eyes narrowed as she continued to stare at the principle. “What was the argument about anyway?”

“...”

The principle did not have an answer for her, his face becoming blank and then slightly a bit sheepish, telling Seulgi immediately that he had not bothered to investigate the fight any further aside from the exchanging of blows and injuries caused by it. And it seemed that you noticed it the same time as Seulgi did, because you mirrored Seulgi’s stance, staring at the principle with a more intense look.

“Are you telling me that you did not bother to find the reason behind the fight? We know our son and we know that he would never do something like this unless he was provoked. You are threatening to suspend or expel our son without a probable cause? Should we call our lawyer and have then investigate this matter instead?”

Even though Seulgi believed that perhaps threatening the use of their family lawyer was rather bold, she did not undermine you as she let you do what you did best, play the bad-cop persona that you were born to play. Between the two of you, you were always the one who would never mince words. Your intentions come very clearly to others, and the principle could very much tell what you were insinuating.

“Mrs Kang, surely that would not be necessary-.”

“You are threatening the future of my son, I believe it is very necessary.”

“I...I will have their homeroom teacher followup on the reason behind the argument. Please...let’s not escalate it further than it needs to be.”

“We will give you until tomorrow to give us a solid answer, otherwise you will expect a call from our lawyer.”

You stood up from your seat with a harsh glare on the principle, Seulgi mirroring your actions and not sparing the principle a single glance before she marched towards the door and opened it, stepping aside to let you exit the office first before following after you. She slammed the door shut with enough force to emphasis her aggravated point, a smile crawling along her face as she turned to look at you.

“Nicely done.”

“I won’t let him bully us into letting Jinyoung get expelled. I won’t.” You hissed, turning around to look at her, your body slightly trembling due to your anger. Seulgi nodded at you.

“I know you won’t, you are a fierce lioness, you will go for the kill against anyone who messes with your cub.”

“Damn straight.” You answered, a resolute look in your eyes as you instantly agreed with her.

A few moments of silence passed between the two of you before you suddenly licked your lips and then sighed, tucking behind a loose strand of hair behind your ear before looking at Seulgi with a slightly tired look.

“We will need to talk to Jinyoung.”

“Yeah, we do.” Seulgi agreed, tucking her hands in her pockets and swaying on the spot for a few moments before looking at you from under her lashes. “Can I...should we meet at a cafe or something? I think I should be there when we talk.”

“...yeah, lets do that.” You agreed, giving a small nod at Seulgi’s suggestion, making the businesswoman relax.

Seulgi couldn’t even remember the last time the three of you were in the same room together. Despite the obvious distance between the two of you, you have both tried to shield Jinyoung from the impending disaster between you and her marriage, but deep down, Seulgi feels that Jinyoung knows a lot more than he should. Seulgi not being in the family home is proof enough for the young boy to realize there were issues between his two parents, and Seulgi has been hoping to put off the conversation for a while.

“Alright, um...do you want to pick up Jinyoung and I find a suitable cafe for the three of us? I can send the location.”

“...Sure.”

“Alright...see you in a few then?” Seulgi asked carefully, which you responded with a nod. “Great.”

Wendy

Seungwan had not expected to receive a phone call from you so late in the night but she answered it nonetheless, having promised you that she will always answer a message or phone call from you no matter what, something which she had fulfilled before, during, and after the marriage. She was groggy with sleep but she was suddenly awake when she heard your sobs on the other side of the phone, her body shoot up from the mattress at you distress.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“S-Seugwan...i-its Areum. S-She is in the hospital.”

Ice immediately filled Seungwan’s veins at those words, her whole body freezing on the spot as her heart literally dropped to her stomach. Seungwan was surprised that she managed to keep her voice steady as she spoke to you.

“Y/N, what happened? Why is Areum in the hospital?”

“I...she was...she woke up screaming and s-sad her stomach was hurting. I-I drove her to the hospital and...and they suspect it is her appendix.”

“Okay, are you still at the hospital?’ Seungwan asked, leaping out of her bed and rushing to her closet to get some decent clothes.

“Y-yes.”

“Alright. Stay there. I am heading over now.” She said, tugging on a pear of jeans and grabbing a hoody before hurrying out of her bedroom. “Just stay calm. I’m on my way.”

“O-Okay.”

Seungwan hung up the phone and quickly grabbed her car keys before rushing into her garage and leaping into her car. She probably broke about a dozen traffic laws driving to the hospital but Seungwan did not car as she parked and then hurried in the hospital, nearly biting the receptionists head off when she uttered your and Areum’s name before being directed to the waiting area for operations. Seungwan immediately caught sight of you as you were pacing along the floor, you being dressed in your pajama pants and a hoody, tears streaming down your cheeks.

“Seungwan...” you rasped when you eventually caught sight of her, a sob leaving your lips as you reached for her, collapsing into her arms when Seungwan eventually reached you.

Seungwan didn’t hesitate wrapping her arms around you as you began to sob in her chest, your body trembling as you tightly gripped at her hoody, grabbing handfuls of the material. Seungwan did not say anything, she simply held you as you let out all your stress and fear, the smell of your apple shampoo filling her sense, almost calming her down as she closed her eyes and reveled in it.

Even though the two of you had divorced two years ago, the two of you made an effort to still be there for Areum even though the two of you were neither married. The two of you had married young, far too young to understand the struggles that came with marriage and the effort it took to make it work. The two of you were best friends who had fallen in love and then decided to runaway from your small-town homes to make a life in the city. The two of you struggled a lot adjusting to the city life, the two of you getting into pretty intense fights, but the two of you tried to make it work, eventually establishing a business together that eventually progressed into something much bigger than the two of you ever anticipated.

The two of you loved each but sometimes love is not enough to maintain a marriage. Areum had been an attempt to bridge the distance between the two of you but it did not work. The fights got worse and eventually the fights were affecting Areum, which led to the two of you that the best course of action for the two of you and for Areum was to get divorced. Seungwan won’t lie and say it was an easy decision, she wanted to make it work, but she knew that it was the best thing that could be done for the family, even if it meant that she could not fall asleep in your arms.

Seungwan still loved you even now; therefore, she found no problem in you soaking her hoody in your tears because you obviously needed someone to be your pillar of support right now, especially since your and her daughter was in the middle of an operation to deal with a burst appendix.

“It will be okay Y/N. It will be okay.” She cooed, rubbing the back of your head while her other arm was wrapped around your waist. You sobbed further in her chest.

“I...It just came out of nowhere. S-Seung,,,she was in so much pain.”

“She’s a fighter Y/N, she will be fine. I know she will be.”

“S-She was screaming so much-”

“Shhh, shhh, don’t think about that now. Think about her getting better.”

Seungwan had no idea how long she stood in that waiting area with you in her arms but she did not care. You were stressed and scared enough as it is, she could sacrifice her comfort to give you the much needed comfort that she was capable of providing. Eventually she managed to convince you to take a seat in the area, holding your hand tightly in hers while the two of you waited for any further notice regarding Areum.

“S-Seung...” You whispered, your fingers gripping Seungwan’s hands tightly as you stared at her with tearful eyes. She turned to you. “I-I’m so scared.”

“Shh, Areum will be fine. She is our daughter, she will be fine.” Seungwan comforted, raising her other hand to stroke your cheek, eyes soft and supportive as she tried to ease your fear.

Your bottom lip trembled but your leaned into her touch, closing your eyes as you soaked in the warmth she provided you before looking away, fixing your eyes on the operation door, waiting for a doctor or a nurse to come out and call out for you and Seungwan. Seungwan squeezed your hand and waited beside you, similarly looking at the door and waiting for someone to call for the two of you, her own bundle of nerves building up within her as she waited for news on Areum.

While she wanted to cry and stress herself, she knew she couldn’t because that would send you into a further panic. She needed to be the strong one right now between the two of you, and she will happily be it because it was both what you and Areum needed.

When a doctor eventually came out of the operation door and called out Areum’s name, both you and Seungwan leapt to your feet and hurried to the doctor, hands interlock as the two of you took comfort from one another.

“Areum, how is she? Is our baby okay?” You demanded, eyes wide with tears still obvious with them. You looked about ready to interrogate the man, almost reaching out to grab him if it wasn’t for Seungwan tugging you back to give a respectable distance between themselves and the doctor. The doctor gave Seungwan a thankful look before looking at you, a small smile on his face.

“Everything will be alright with your daughter ma’am. It was close but we managed to remove the appendix successfully. She sustained no further injuries. She will make a full recovery.”

Relief immediately flooded Seungwan from the news, but it was more ovbious on your body as you literally deflated in front of both Seungwan and the doctor. You turned to Seungwan and all but wrapped her in a tight embrace, a relieved sob leaving your lips as you nuzzled your face in her shoulder.

‘She’s alright.” You rasped, a smile on your face which made Seungwan smile as she hugged you back just as tightly.

“Of course she is, she’s our daughter after all.” Seungwan’s smile widened at the sound of your chuckle before she turned to look at the doctor. “Can we go see her?”

“Of course, if the two of you would like to follow me.”

You pulled away from Sengwan and wiped at your eyes, obviously trying to erase your evidence of crying but without any success. But neither you or Seungwan cared as the two of you walked after the doctor, hands still entwined to go greet Areum.

Joy

The tension between the two of you could be cut with a knife, both of you standing off like two countries about to go off to war but the only thing that could be lost was the relationship between the two of you which was bad enough as it is. Sooyoung’s eyes flickered to your partner on your far side, them having being strategic enough to make sure they would not be within punch distance from Sooyoung.

But then again, Sooyoung had pretty long limbs. She will be able to reach if she really wanted to.

...

Better not.

“Y/N.” She said politely, not pointedly not addressing your partner’s name despite it being ingrained in her mind after she heard you screaming their name from your and her bedroom when she arrived home early from a business trip.

“Sooyoung.” You greeted back, glancing back at your partner before looking back at her. “You look well.”

“Thank you.”

“...”

Neither of you said anything else, simply locking eyes for a few long moments before Sooyoung took her seat beside you, internally hissing at the close contact she was being forced to endure for at least an hour at her children’s school play. You clearly your throat and shifted, accidentally bumping Sooyoung with your elbow before whipping back to look at her.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“...”

“So um, Sooyoung, how is your-”

“I am already forced to endure your presence at my children’s concert, do not make it worse by actually speaking to me.” Sooyoung hissed at your partner, flashing them a glare so cold that she would not be surprised if icicles had been shot into your partners chest.

Your partner immediately shrunk back into their seat, looking away with a frightened whimper while you turned to glare at her, your hand entwined with your partner’s tightening protectively.

“There is no need for you to be so rude Sooyoung.”

“Oh, am I being rude? My apologies, I meant to be more restrained, but you know how one usually acts when there is an annoying mosquito around...you just have to squash them before they get arrogant.”

“Listen Sooyoung, I know that this isn’t ideal, but-”

“Yes I agree. This isn’t ideal. This is our son’s and daughter’s school play and you decided to bring your damn side piece, fully knowing that I was going to attend. I know that you struggle in the thinking department, but I would have liked to think you had at least a bit of common sense.”

Your gritted your teeth angrily at Sooyoung, not daring to argue back because you knew that she was hitting the nail right on the head. It was true, it was stupid of you to bring your partner to the school play while knowing Sooyoung was going to attend. Areum and Jinyoung had asked for both of you to attend, the twins wanting to have both parents in attendance and even though things have fallen apart between you and Sooyoung, both of you were making a decent effort to be there for your children. But your partner had started to become rather...needy in the sense that they wanted to be more involved with the twins.

So you had purchased them a ticket...to the consequence that you infuratied Sooyoung with their presence.

“...Can you at least be civil.” You asked, making Sooyoung scoff in response.

“As long as they don’t utter a single word, I will be the politest woman in the world.”

“Don’t ruin this for Areum and Jinyoung.”

“You have already ruined it by bringing them here. You just better not bring them to the play dinner, otherwise I really will make a fuss.”

“You wouldn’t do that to the twins.”

“And yet you just accused me of ruining things now for them. I am a woman who has nothing to lose Y/N, I am the more dangerous one between the two of us. be careful.”

Sooyoung’s warning may appear vague to others but it was obvious to you. Since you were the one who had the affair, you were not the one who had the power to make the major decisions. You were lucky enough that Sooyoung agreed to joint-custody between you and her. Even though she was furious by your infidelity, she was kind enough to grant you the same opportunity as her to spend time with the twins. But she could easily take it away if she wanted to, especially since she was always watching your partner with a critical eye when near the twins.

“...I’m sorry, just...just please let’s not make a scene.”

“I won’t as long as your stupid toy doesn’t utter a single sound.”

Sooyoung always pointedly would discuss things with you involving your partner right in front of them, uncaring if it was making them feel invisible or not. They had purposefully wrecked Soooyung’s marriage with you, encroaching on you despite your marriage status. But you were just as equal to blame as they were, you had allowed yourself to be seduced into another person’s arms when Sooyoung was out working to support the family.

You opened your mouth to say something but you stopped with the stage hall suddenly darkened, an indication that the play was about to start. Sooyoung noticed you glance at her one last time but she purposefully ignored , instead fixing her attention on the stage as she readied herself in slight anticipation to watch her son and daughter perform in the school play.

She noticed you turn to your partner from the corner of her eye but she ignored it. You were not the focus tonight, Areum and Jinyoung were, and so she was going to keep it that way. They had asked for the two of you to attend and be peaceful with one another, and she was going to carry out that wish, even if it meant she had to deal with the presence of the person who stole her wife.

Yeri

The words were so taunting to her as she stared at the document that you had slid to her on the kitchen counter, the glasses of wine that she had poured for the two of you remaining untouched as you watched Yerim read through the first page of the document you had drawn up with your lawyer. Yerim remained unmoving, inaudible, and completely withdrawn.

“...I refuse.”

Yerim looked up from the paper to look at you, her eyes resolute with determination while you simply sighed, shaking your head as you turn your back and took a few steps away from her, walking over to the kitchen sink to try gather your thoughts. Yerim stood up from the kitchen stool, her eyes locked on your back as she walked around the kitchen counter.

“We can make it work Y/N. We can go to a counselor, sort out our issues, we can-”

“Our issues are not something that some stranger can just fix Yerim.” You said, not bothering to look back at her but you words were as sharp as a knife.

Yerim continued to walk towards you but she stopped when you raised your hand to stop her, your fingers tense and straight as you held them in the air for a few moments before returning them back to your crossed arms. You were staring out the kitchen window at the clear night sky, the stars shining brightly in the galaxy above, being the only witnesses to the unfolding scene,

“Just sign the papers.”

“I am not signing away Jinyoung.” Yerim snapped, not taking another step forward but also not retreating.

She was not just going to sign away her newborn son or wife. She has also been skilled at fixing problems and this should be no different. The two of you have gotten into fights before, but never to the extent that you were offering her divorce papers. The document’s existence had completely knocked her off her feet and she was trying to stand up again.

“You’re not signing him away. We can share custody.” You reasoned, still staring out at the kitchen window. Yerim scoffed.

“I basically am. I am giving away half my rights and time with him. He is my son, I am entitled to have him in my home.”

“He is just as much my son as he is yours and you are not entitled to anything.” You finally turned around to look at her, your eyes blazing with an unsaid anger that made Yerim pause in her retort. She had never seen such a fire in you, not even in your and her past arguments. “We decided together to have a baby, and yet you have forced your entire idea of a legacy of him without even consulting me.”

“Is this about the camp? Because I can-”

“This is not about the damn camp Yerim.” You said, marching towards the businesswoman and pressed a sharp finger into her chest, your teeth bared like an animal as you glared at her. “This is about you forgetting the fact that we had a baby because we wanted to start a family, not for you to build a little soldier to honor that stupid legacy that your family has always been obsessed with.”

Yerim couldn’t help but scowl at the mention of her family, you obviously know how much of a sensitive issue they were to the businesswoman. After all, she was forced into business by her father and then pressured to marry by her mother. She was fortunate enough that they had deemed you an acceptable match for her as a her wife, but lately it seemed that a tension had developed between the two of you, especially after you had discovered to be pregnant. She had assumed it was simply because of pregnancy blues or whatever came with it, but now it has seemed to escalated from moody moments to a full-scale separation.

“Don’t bring my family into this. This is about us.”

“Yes, exactly. This is about us and what is best for us, something which you seem to have deemed yourself to be the only one capable of making such decisions!”

You whipped yourself away from Yerim again and started to walk away, only for Yerim to stop you by gripping you by the arm. She tugged you back and forced you too look at her by grabbing you by the soldiers.

“Stop walking away from me! Where is all of this coming from?!” She demanded, urging you to answer her, only to be met with you pushing her away from you, making Yerim stumble into the kitchen counter behind her. You let out a frustrated huff before threading your fingers in your hair and tugging.

“This is coming from the fact that you believe that everything that you say is law! I am feeling suffocated Yerim! I want out!”

“Out? Out of what?”

“Out of this damn marriage!” Your eyes were blazing as you screamed at her, your eyes resembling hot coals as you removed your hands from your hair and instead tightened them into fists by your side. “I am sick of feeling like I am a prisoner on parole with an ankle bracelet! You and your family are suffocating me! I want want to leave!”

“Where is all of this coming from? Did my mother speaker to you? My father?”

Your silence immediately answered her question, making a blaze of fury appear in her body as she walked back to you and grabbed you hand, her other hand cupping your neck and urging you to look at her.

“Y/N, listen to me, just tell me what my parents aid and I will-”

“No.”

You grabbed Yerim’s hands and forced them off you, taking a few steps backwards to make space between the two of you. You shook your head and turned around, leaning on the kitchen sink for support, ducking your head down to recentre yourself before finally speaking again.

“I am exhausted Yerim. I just want this all to end.”

“Listen Y/N.” Yerim started, taking steps towards you, desperation clawing up her throat and threatening to burst but she tried her best to center herself. She swallowed thickly before reaching out to you again, her hand placing itself on your shoulder. “We can sort through this together. We...we can go away somewhere, we can...we can just...be. Please baby, please don’t force us into this.”

“...I am not the one who forced us into this.’ You finally said, turning around and forcing Yerim’s hand to drop from your shoulder. Your eyes had a deep sadness in them which had previously been masked by the anger from the argument, exhaustion mixed with it. “I am the one who decided to finally address it.”

“Y/N-”

“I know that you feel the same Yerim. You just have been too proud to admit it.”

“I have not been to proud about anything. Y/N, we just need to-”

Yerim was interrupted by the sound of the baby monitor, the cries of Jinyoung echoing in the kitchen, matching the cries that were coming upstairs from the nursery. You sighed in exhaustion before turning away, heading towards the staircase. “I’ll get it.”

“Y/N-”

“Please Yerim, I beg of you...just sign it and let me free.”

You finally exited the kitchen, leaving Yerim behind in a stunned silence with a broken heart in the company of a set of documents which had completely wrecked the perfect life that she had previously believed that she had.

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faffreux · 1 year

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how did you fall in love with fawful? when did you realize you loved him? /gen

So I've been trying to type an answer to this for 20 minutes now, no joke. But at some point I realized I was going on a tangent and had literally typed out an entire draft for the first chapter of the essay about this that I want to write so I think those words are better saved for when they may eventually come about, LOL.

It's a complicated story. I don't say that lightly - I'm serious. There's just a lot to it and it's hard to sum up as a result.

But I'll just tell you that there was 7 years of my life where I felt as if I'd never really draw again and like I'd completely lost the confidence for what was once my favorite thing in the world. I went through those seven years BARELY picking up a pencil. I didn't create hardly at all compared to when I was much younger.

On January 1st, 2020 I sat in my room with a pencil and piece of notebook paper in my hands and through tears I said aloud: "I just want to draw again. I don't care what it is... I don't care what comes out. Just... anything. Anyone. Please. I want it to feel like it did before." And in frustration I put my pencil to paper and the first thing that appeared was a familiar face I hadn't seen nor thought of in almost the same amount of time as it had been since I felt my art go missing.

In that moment my pencil seemed to become one of these:

Something sparked in my head again - some part of me I truly felt like I'd lost forever. The first thing I did immediately after that was go online and order both Superstar Saga and Bowser's Inside Story so I could play them again since I hadn’t since 2010.

I played through SSS first and had a bLAST. WOW, I missed this game!! Fawful made me giggle - he was just as entertaining as I remembered him.

Then I played BIS... and uh.................... we'll just say you're talking to somebody who had never experienced a legitimate crush in his entire life prior and suddenly felt his cheeks turn hot at the sight of this bean dancing on the lit stage of the Fawful Theatre. My roommate looked over and asked me from across the room: "Why are you so red? Are you okay?"

And the rest is history.

Everything truly blossomed later on when he began showing up in my dreams and I continued to deepen the love I felt through the art I was finally able to create again.

While I originally created Jolligig completely separate from Fawful, he eventually became the channel I used to express and project the joy and adoration I felt for him. But I LOVE the life he’s taken on since then!! And how excited I STILL AM ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

#fawfultalk #asks

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v-anrouge · 7 months

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i think you're a real artist. who is the artist if not their pain, and who know it so very well? who is the artist if not the one with no mouth and the agonizing scream bubbling up in their throat? who is the artist if not the one who feels their passion turn into a poisonous thing that slowly eats corrodes them from the inside out? i felt that way for a whole year; i thought my very identity had been taken away from me when i couldn't draw. it wasn't just the time. it was all i stood for and all i was and all i had ever known and all i wanted. fuck, who even is the guy in the mirror staring back at me? the one who can't do anything? any thing at all? the one who wastes away? who am i without the joy and pain of creation? id rather be tragically something than tragically nothing. am i doomed for a life of disappointing nothingness and this eternal desire underneath my skin that i can't get out, no matter how much i tear myself apart? i eventually got out of that rut, of course, because here i am with an art blog. point is, ill never forget just how much it affects someone. i can't imagine how it must be for you, but i can understand. you are an artist as much as the next because it is the agonizing pain and passion in us that makes us so good at what we do. doubting yourself feels the most natural thing to do when times are rough-- but ill always hope for and believe in you, that you will one day attain the catharsis you need.

- c

GOD STOP MAKING ME VRY PELASE this ask is so relatable to me. i spent an entire year being unable to create anything at all like i would pick up a pencil and all i could do was try to make something find it repulsive and then punish myself for not bejng s proper artist even though ive been drawing and animating literally my entire life, mh art hasn't improved at all, it make some feel ashamed, because im so old yet my art looks so bad and i can't even finish a fucking piece properly i need to set a whole ass mood and need to try my best to stay focused and i fail 99% of the time and ugh im sick of it. i was so sure art was dead to me, but i just keep coming back to it i hate it

#✎ ⇣‧₊˚ 【asks #ৎ୭ ⇣‧₊˚ 【stinks #♡ᭂ ⇣‧₊˚ 【 pome's cult member

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inquisitorius-sin-bin · 1 year

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The Year Wrapped: Artist's Edition 1, 3, 15, 17, and 27.

Thank you for asking!!

How many works of art have you made this year?

Boy! I really have to think!

37 digital drawings that I could find right away, 1 pencil sketch, 1 needle felt project, and more crochet projects than I could possibly count. Hats, shirts, sweaters, booties, cardigans, blankets, a bird house, gloves, cat sweaters, baskets, keychains, pillows, etc. We're not going to count my photography in this case.

3. How long did you spend creating in an average month this year? Was any month more or less creative?

I'm going to be real, after I get home from work, if I am not being creative, I am languishing. That could be drawing, writing, crocheting, editing my photos, taking more photos. I was definitely less creative the first half of the year. The Kenobi trailer really revived me from the dead. That was in what? May? June? I hadn't picked up my drawing tablet since 2017. Hadn't written a single word of fiction since then either. I was crocheting, yes, but I still wasn't outputting quite as much. Thanks Inky, you're a real muse.

November was probably my best month because I had an entire week off work where I was completely bedridden. Yes work was in crisis but I was relaxed for once.

15. Is there any new style/technique/medium you want to explore next year?

Welllllll I did just learn how to knit, so...

I also still adore, admire, love, etc etc Tunisian crochet and will be in continuous awe until I learn it.

I also think as far as my digital art goes, any kind of style that makes the lighting/shading feel more fun and less of a chore that I have to do to finish the piece.

17. What piece took the longest to create?

Welcome to Nur. So many figures, such a complex background. Lots of research into new uniforms. Had to really play to be happy with the reflections and all. But I am still in love with it and how the colors came out. My experimental color phase was fun, and I am willing to take more goes at that in the future too.

Some other honorable mentions include Evil Dead AU Poster (Painting is hard):

And Thrawn and Bettany (again, backgrounds, and how does one sit in that chair?):

27. Biggest surprise while creating art this year?

That I actually finished anything after 5 years of not creating anything, really. That I could just jump back in and really enjoy myself. That all it took was a 5 second trailer clip to jumpstart my creativity once again. It was literally a switch, overnight, and then I wanted to draw again. Brains are funny like that, I guess.

#thanks again for asking!

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vexic929 · 10 months

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📦🌪️📣👊👁️✏️🔪🕷️🌋🎂 for Berrie and any other OCs u want to do

oooh yes! I'll pick a random OC to answer for alongside Berrie for each of them lol

📦 PACKAGE - what are some “most likely to…” that can apply to them?

Berrie: most likely to accidentally solve a murder

Aria: most likely to date a celebrity

🌪️ TORNADO - what is the biggest change you've ever made to them? how have they changed from their original version?

Berrie was originally as volatile as Eobard if not moreso and now they're the sweetest little bean who hates the idea of hurting other people, needless to say she's changed a LOT lol

The Ace Arrow originally had ice related powers, now she has no powers at all

📣 MEGAPHONE - how loud are they? what do they speak like? got a voice claim?

Berrie has a really hard time keeping her voice down, especially when he's excited or afraid, no current voice claim but their voice is higher pitched

Aria has a very soft but authoritative tone, her voice commands respect and is the kind that draws all attention despite how quiet it is, she has a slight accent as Arabic is her first language, I could see Grey Delisle doing her justice~

👊 PUNCH - are they quick to violence?

Berrie is slow to violence but quick to escalate once it gets there, they'll do everything in their power to keep it from going too far but gods help you if you piss her off enough to make her attack you

Vice finds violence fun so they're pretty quick to get there just for the chaos lol

👁️ EYE - what colour are their eyes? do people notice their eyes? is there anything special about them (shows emotion easily, literally magical...)?

Berrie's eyes are hazel and he doesn't like eye contact so I doubt their eyes are the first thing noticed unless they happen to spark with Speed Force energy

Soliton's eyes have turned an unnatural yellow/green color so they definitely draw attention, she tries to counteract this by also dyeing her hair a bright neon color and wearing sunglasses

✏️ PENCIL - is there a particular quote / lyric that you associate with them?

Berrie:

"House in the hills is a house of cards Blink and the fairytale falls apart Sorry, didn't mean to get so dark Maybe I'm an alien, Earth is hard"

Agent V-92:

"I don't wanna be a superhero 'Cause I can't save the world So I'm never gonna get the girl I just wanna do better Superhero 'Cause I can't save myself Much less somebody else So I gotta do better"

🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?

The first thing Berrie would do if something happened to someone they loved is kill the person responsible without hesitation (if it is a person responsible), afterwards they'd feel horribly guilty about the murder and being unable to save her loved one

Harmonic Sine is most likely to blame herself and immediately throw all her limited energy into fixing the problem if it can be fixed; if it can't then she will continue to spiral into self-loathing indefinitely

🕷️ SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

Berrie's biggest fear is either of her dads rejecting or abandoning her, as for irrational/mundane fears she is ironically scared of thunderstorms

Aria's biggest fear is failure, having never been able to rely on anyone else she is terrified that she could ever let herself down

🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or a instant explosion?

Berrie's temper is definitely an instant explosion, if something is going to upset him it will be instantaneous, fortunately not much does

Soliton has a slow boil sort of temper, she'll let it simmer for months before she snaps

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it?

Berrie's birthday isn't specified exactly but it is in late May, they've always enjoyed celebrating it up until they learned how they were created, now he's conflicted

confession time Vice has my birthday because I couldn't help myself in that regard lol and yes she likes to celebrate it, any chance to celebrate anything they'll take it

#vexic ocs #vexic lives #negative-speedforce #negative speedforce #vexic answers #berrie thawne #my ocs #ask game

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mccormickpatterson · 2 years

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Simple Ideas For Move Forward On Activity

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johnsamericano · 3 years

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𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥

Hi everyone! As promised, here’s one of the two most voted fic continuations. There will be more chapters to this story though I'm not sure how many yet. Thank you for reading!

warnings: sugar daddy jae, mentions of injuries and hospitals, language.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv

Sugar rush m.list.

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the quiet hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

The machine monitoring your father’s heartbeat was the only sound filling the hospital room, where your once healthy father laid unconscious, his perfect, chiseled cheeks adorned with cuts and bruises. Would they leave a mark?

Where did everything go wrong?

Your string of thoughts was cut off by a call from your aunt.

“Hello?” Your voice was raspy from not using it. There was no one to talk to in the quiet, hospital room but the nurses, who weren't especially keen on chatting.

“How’s your dad, sweetie?”

“They let him out of ICU, but he doesn't look good to me.” Your fingers traced the cuts in his chiseled cheeks that would soon turn into scars, ruining his perfect skin. Your eyes then diverted to his head, thoroughly covered in bandages to protect his damaged skull.

“Honey, I've got bad news...”

“They rejected the case, didn't they?”

“Not precisely.” She deeply inhaled before continuing. “It’s a tough case, almost impossible to win, nonetheless, they're willing to take it. But their fee is a little...”

“Expensive.”

“Yes.”

As expected from the best firm in town, they wouldn't take less than $8,000. Your bank account didn't have enough money to even cover half of it, and with your job at the convenience store, you'd only earn so much to cover your expenses.

“We can take the lawyer that the government provides us with, it would be free.”

“But then I'm sure we’d lose.” You groaned in frustration, using your free hand to rub your forehead. “Don’t worry, I'll find a way to get the money.”

“Why don't we just accept the compensation they're offering? It could pay for the hospital bills and you'd still have some left to pay for your tuition.”

“That would be like putting a price on my father's life. I don't want their money, I want them to make themselves responsible for what they've caused.” The sound of wheels approached the door of your father's room, signaling the nurse was outside with his meds. “It’s okay, Auntie, I'll take care of everything. You can go back home, I know my uncle isn't doing so well.”

“Are you sure, darling?” It was undeniable that she wanted to head back to her little ranch fat away from the hectic city life to take care of her sick husband, but still, her brother was laying down on a hospital bed, fighting for his life.

“Yes, I'm an adult, I'll find a way.”

“Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to call me if you're having any difficulties. I'll be there in the blink of an eye.” She said before sending a kiss into the speaker, proceeding to hang up.

You sighed. It was never usual for you to ask for help, as you were an extremely prideful and independent person, and you doubted this time would be different.

“Don’t worry, dad. Everything will be alright.”

Three failed job interviews and one more to go. Your feet were killing you, the high heels covering them already worn out from walking to avoid taking the bus. Every penny counted, and as long as your legs worked, you weren't spending any more money than what was necessary.

You sat down in the waiting room of the company, massaging your neck to relieve some tension. College was becoming a burden. Maybe you'd take a semester off to focus on working, that is if someone wanted to hire an inexperienced student.

“Y/n, Y/l/n?”

“Here.” You darted up, gathering your belongings to enter the room on which your life almost literally depended.

You gave all the right answers, earning a polite ‘we’ll contact you’ in return. But you could see that they weren't convinced with your lack of experience, no company in their right mind would be.

As soon as you arrived at your apartment, you slid out of the uncomfortable pencil skirt, tucking yourself under the covers with your phone screen almost hitting your nose.

To take your mind off things, you decided to watch some videos. Halfway in, an ad popped up, interrupting the interior deco video you were watching.

A picture of a girl about your age hugging an older man was right in the middle of your screen. Written with fancy letters, the words ‘make your life simpler’ could be read, followed by what you guessed was the title of the app. Sugar rush.

Out of pure curiosity, your finger tapped at the small icon that led to the app store, absentmindedly clicking the download button. A few seconds later, an icon with the letters ‘SR’ was added to your home screen.

“Log in?” You murmured out loud, squinting your eyes to adjust your eyes to the bright, white homepage.

Just as you were about to click out, the phrase from the ad reappeared, stopping your finger from moving any further.

You could always delete your account if something went wrong, right? Nonetheless, you decided to use a false name, and that's how Melanie Kim’s profile was created. You left the circle of your profile picture empty for now, only filling the spaces that asked about your likes, dislikes, age, and all that stuff that people care about so much.

You knew what the app was for, but that didn't stop you from being surprised when a list of men and women of different ages greeted you. Right then, a small rectangle obstructed your sight, two buttons offering opposite things.

‘Pick the role you'd like to develop.’

Sugar daddy/mommy / Sugar baby.

Clearly, you didn’t have nor the money or the years to be the first, so you clicked the opposite button without giving it more thought.

‘Welcome. You've been registered as a sugar baby at Sugar rush. Meet thousands of men and women willing to finance you for free!’

You hummed.

‘As we're always looking to make our users’ experience better, we've developed Sugar Rush premium, a membership to meet the richest and hottest people in your surroundings. Get the premium version for only $5.95 a month. Click here to get Sugar Rush premium.’

Your finger pad was dangerously close to the blue button, almost grazing the screen of the phone. It was then when you were pulled out of your trance, blinking as if just then you'd realized what you were doing.

“I must be crazy.” You turned off your phone, not bothering to turn on an alarm for the next day. You had no interviews left. You had nowhere to go.

Waking up was getting harder with every passing day. Not being able to call your dad to go out for breakfast or even sending a simple good morning message hurt you deeply. You missed him. But seeing him laying down on a hospital bed, unable to do anything by himself, was even worse.

Ding

A notification filled the silence in your room.

‘Come back, you haven't finished setting up your account yet!’

You scoffed at your past self. What were you even thinking when you downloaded the app?

You simply turned off the phone before standing up to take a relaxing shower. As the water soaked up your tense body, your mind started wandering off back to the app. A million what-ifs filled your head, nonetheless, there was one that remained the most persistent.

‘What if this can pay for a lawyer?’

Your part-time job surely couldn't, and you had no one to assist you financially speaking. The whole idea of paying that ridiculous membership seemed more tempting as your fingers started getting wrinkly under the showerhead.

You decided to take some time to consider it, after all, you still had a week to give the lawyers an answer.

Hot soup seemed like a good option to comfort you, and thankfully, there was a store right in front of your place that claimed to sell the best soups in town.

It wasn't bad, but not nearly as good as the one your dad cooked when you were a kid. You sighed, wondering if you'd ever be able to eat it again. Just then, a woman about your age came into the shop, carrying a couple of bags where names of popular brands could be read. A pinch of jealousy made your heart stir as you glanced at yourself through the reflection in the glass at your side. You looked devastated, your skin pale and your cheekbones slightly sunken, a sign of the lack of rest and food you'd been getting.

Out of pure impulse, you pulled out your phone, clicked on the app you'd recently downloaded, and finally accepted the charges for a premium membership.

‘Welcome, new member of our wide community, click ok to get started!’

Well, no turning back now.

Right after pressing the blue letters with your thumb, you were presented with a list of potential prospects, some of them including pictures, some of them only including name and a brief description of what they were looking for. The minority included their ages, but most left the space blank.

A bunch of old men looking for a youthful, pretty woman to be by their sides, some of them even went as far as writing the weight and height their ideal partner should have. Of course, there were also some women in the look for young meat, but the number of men overpassed them.

About to exit the app in defeat, a profile caught your eye. His pale pink hair was parted, allowing his thick eyebrows to stand out. His high cheekbones made him look like a statue, the details in his face almost too perfect for a mere human. He must be the incarnation of a Greek God, you thought.

‘Jung Yoonoh. 41 years old. Owner of N & C.’

“Should I...?” You asked yourself in a voice lower than a whisper.

He has probably gotten hundreds of messages, so what would be the point of sending one yourself? Your eyes scanned the picture over and over again as the remains of your soup started getting cold.

He was probably the only acceptable man in the whole app, so why not give it a try?

You already spent five whole dollars on it, might as well make it worth the money.

‘Hi.’ Sent.

“Holy crap.” You breathed out, regretting every single action that led you to take such a stupid decision. “Ah!” You squeaked as three small dots appeared beside his profile picture, signaling he was writing a reply.

What if he rejected you right from the beginning? God, that would be so humiliating. His message stopped your train of thought.

‘Hi!’

Followed by:

‘How are you?’

Sweating like a pig, thank you for asking.

‘Fine. You?’ Read.

‘Thrilled. No one had messaged me since I created my account two weeks ago.’

‘How is that possible?’ You imprinted your thoughts on a message.

‘It’s hard to trust people nowadays. I guess people might think either my picture is photoshopped or I'm lying about my job.’

‘Their loss, ig.’ Read.

He was taking some time to answer. Had you said something inappropriate?

‘Hahaha.’

The conversation stopped there, as you didn't know how exactly to answer his message. But a few minutes later, another text from him popped up at your chat.

‘If you're okay with it, we can start talking about a possible arrangement.’

Already? You've known each other for like five minutes. But then again, arrangements were the whole purpose of the app.

‘Sure.’

‘May I ask your reasons for joining the app?’

‘I need urgent money, but my job doesn't pay nearly enough.’ You omitted the part of your agonizing father, he didn't need to know that. ‘And you?’

‘I need someone to be my partner at public spaces.’

‘Alright.’ Read.

‘Do you happen to have some free time tomorrow at lunchtime? I think it’d be better to meet first before making any decisions.’

‘Yeah, I'm free.’

‘Great, I’ll send you the address.’

You thought a day would be enough to prepare yourself, but time passed by quicker than usual, and soon enough, it was time to get ready for your meeting with Mr. Jung. He was only a few years younger than your father, and calling him by his first name wouldn't feel right.

Unsure if you should wear something formal, you threw on a beige (the color you'd agreed on wearing so it’d be easier to recognize each other) summer dress, pairing it with the gold hoops you'd inherited from your grandma to make it look more elegant.

The hardest part of your routine was makeup. Your sunken cheeks couldn't be covered, and only after a few layers of blush and highlighter, you could bring your skin back to life.

On your way to the cafe, you went through the things you'd say when you met him. It was your chance to get your father what he needed.

You stood at the entrance with wide, scared eyes, shyly scanning through the place to look for your date.

“Melanie?” A hand on your shoulder had you jolting. “I’m Jung Yoonoh, nice to meet you.”

What you saw after turning around was breathtaking. A handsome, healthy man, with the most beautiful pair of dimples.

“Nice to meet you.” You managed to blurt out without stuttering, extending your hand to make the greeting more formal. The fake name didn’t seem necessary anymore. “It’s actually y/n, I didn't want to use my real name.”

“I understand. Let’s take a seat.” He offered with a kind smile.

He left you seating at the terrace while he made your order, a latte, and a chocolate cookie. Your fingers played with your hoops anxiously, trying to regulate your breath.

“They’ll bring our food in just a sec.” He offered a warm smile. “Your dress is pretty.” Yoonoh said out of nowhere.

“Thank you.”

“I see you're not a chatty person.” You were about to object, but he started speaking again. “It's not a bad thing! I usually talk a lot, so it’s a nice way to balance things.”

You nodded, seemingly uncomfortable with the man sitting in front of you.

“So, uhm, this is my first time doing this, so I'm not really sure where to begin.” He pulled out a folded paper from the front pocket of his dressing pants. “It’s a bit creased, but I can always print another one. I brought it so you could take a look and let me know if you wanted to change anything. I don't mean to pressure you, but you said it was urgent, so...”

You read the paper under his attentive gaze, making sure not to miss a single word. Everything seemed correct, except...

“Six months?”

“Is that too much?” A small wrinkle formed between his eyebrows, a sign of deep concentration. “Okay, so let's do this instead.”

He took back the contract, pulling out a pen from the pocket in his dressing shirt to correct the original stipulations.

“Four months, and if by the end of them you don't absolutely hate me, we can extend the time. Deal?”

“Just one more thing.”

You cleared your throat, conscious that your following words might jeopardize the whole arrangement.

“Are you sure you want to make it official already?” You had to stop for a moment as the waiter left your orders on top of the wooden table. “I mean, it's not that I have a problem with it, but it's your money and maybe you'd like to give it a better thought.” You resumed.

“The fact that you're concerned about me proves I'm making the right choice. Now, tell me, how much would you like to receive as a weekly allowance?”

Would it be too reckless to ask him straight up for the $8,000?

“H-how much are you willing to give me?” You felt dirty, accepting a stranger’s money like that.

“Whatever you need.” His hand suddenly reached forward to yours, causing every ounce of blood in your body to rush to your face. “There’s no need to be embarrassed, I'm here to help you.” His voice tone dropped, acquiring an almost soothing feeling.

“I need eight thousand by Thursday, next week.” His eyes were wide open, mouth having difficulties remaining closed. “I-I know it's too much, but...”

“I can find a way to give you that money, but I'd like to know the reason why you need it. Just to make sure it's nothing illegal.”

You puffed your cheeks, trying to find an excuse good enough to justify the amount of money you were asking for.

“It isn’t illegal, is it?”

“No!” You retrieved your hand from below his, now embarrassed at the possibility of him having a bad image of you. “I need it for my father.”

“I suppose you don't want to talk about it.” He started at his palm, lips pressed in a thin life. “But when it comes to arrangements like this, we need to trust each other, alright?” You barely knew each other, yet, he demanded to know a very personal detail of your life. Not that he didn't have a good reason for wanting to know, it wasn't a particularly small amount of money.

“He had an accident at work...” You started, fearful of looking up to find pity in his eyes. “I need a lawyer to make his company legally responsible. They intend to throw it under the rug and pay a somewhat decent amount of money to make it go away. The firm I intend to hire is supposedly the best in town, probably my only chance of getting justice.”

“And why don't you just accept it? There's no guarantee that your lawyer will win the case.” You fisted the delicate fabric of your dress, eyes watering as you tried to hold back your anger.

“My father’s life is priceless, and if you think what I'm doing is a waste of money, then fine, we can both look for someone else to help us.” It sounded more aggressive than you'd first intended, but you meant every word that came out of your mouth.

Before you could even stand up, his slim fingers had already wrapped themselves around your wrist.

“I never said that.” He whispered with an almost sad tone. “Come on, sit down.”

He tugged at your arm the slightest, showing off his charming dimples once again.

“I’ll give you the money on one condition...” He raised one of his thick eyebrows. “I’ll go with you to see the lawyer.”

“Why...?”

“That’s my condition, take it or leave it.”

“Okay.”

The days before your meeting with your potential lawyer were nerve-wracking. You'd seen Yoonoh another time to sign the contract, which finally made your arrangement official.

You’d visit your father every day, always hoping he'd be sitting with his arms wide open, ready to hug you. But nothing had changed ever since he first came into that room.

“I’m here to see Mr. Kim.” The secretary's gaze lingered on Jaehyun a few seconds before he finally snapped out of it. “Y/n Y/l/n.”

“Just a second.” He opened his agenda and quickly found your appointment. With a warm smile, he guided you through the corridors of the building, all the way to the elevator. “It’s the only office on the last floor, I'll be at my desk if you need anything.”

Once again, he shot Jae an uneasy glance before the metal doors slid close.

“What was all that?” To be honest, you couldn't care less. But a small chat might calm your nerves and prevent you from throwing up all over the place.

“What do you mean?” He grinned, pressing the button to the top floor.

“You know what I mean.” You scoffed, annoyed at his evasive behavior.

“We just happen to know each other, nothing special.” Before the conversation could continue, a loud ding resonated through the metal cubicle. “Let’s go.” His hand found its place at the small of your back, pushing you towards the glass door. Through it, you could see a black-haired man reading a pile of documents, occasionally raising a photo to examine it with his gold-rimmed glasses supported at the bridge of his elegant nose.

Jaehyun extended his arm over your shoulder to knock on the door, earning an almost annoyed ‘come in’ from the man inside.

“Let’s go.” Once again invading your personal space, he reached for the doorknob with you trapped between his arms.

As soon as the door opened, the man raised his eyes from the documents he was checking.

“What are you doing here, Jung?”

“I knew something was off...” You murmured, loud enough for the man at your side to chuckle.

“I brought you a client, you should be happy.”

“Miss y/n, I suppose. Have a seat.” His demeanor completely changed while speaking directly to you. “I spoke with your aunt last week, she explained the details of the lawsuit, but I must say, it isn't an easy case.”

“I know that, but I've been told you're the best firm in town, I know I'll have more possibilities of winning if you're my lawyer.”

“Best firm in town my ass.”

“Be silent or I’ll kick you out of the building.”

That was enough for Yoonoh to zip his mouth. For a while at least.

“I suppose she also told you about our fee.” He pushed his glasses up using his thumb. “We’d also keep 25% of the lawsuit money assuming we win the case, is that okay with you?”

“Yes-”

“Okay, stop.”

“I’ll call security, Jung.”

“Look at me, y/n.” He squeezed your arms. “This clown is trying to scam you...” He pointed his finger at the lawyer without breaking eye contact. “You’d be spending loads of money for someone who isn't even confident in his abilities. It isn't worth it.”

“And I suppose you'd do better than me, then.” The black-haired man scoffed. “If that's the case, then you can both leave. I'm quite busy at the moment.” With a turn of his wrist, he signaled you to leave the room.

You were fuming, stomping out of the building with Jaehyun right behind you.

“I found a great restaurant nearby, we can go there and-”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Calm down-”

“Don’t tell me to calm down when you just fucked up my only chance to give those bastards what they deserve.” The sun was starting to set, yellow light casting shadows over his tender cheeks.

“Can you listen to me for a second?”

“Are you laughing right now?” You bit your lip, hard, trying to hold back the tsunami of tears threatening to come out of your eyes. “Asshole.”

“Ouch.” He furrowed his eyebrows mockingly. Oh, how close you were to punch that pretty face of his. “Can I explain now?”

You remained silent, staring at the ground with the smallest frown between your eyebrows.

“How do you think I know Kim Doyoung?” Before even giving you a chance to answer, he continued. “That son of a bitch has been stealing my clients for ages.”

“Your clients...?”

“He isn't even that good of a lawyer compared to me.” He scoffed with fake arrogance.

“You're a lawyer?!” You slammed your palms into your face, whining at the newly acquired information. “Why didn't you tell me from the beginning?”

“Just wanted to swing by and annoy him a bit. Don't worry, I wasn't gonna let you accept his deal.” He winked playfully.

The sun was now hidden, the sky darkening as the moon rose to take its shift.

“Though I gotta say, I'm kinda offended I wasn't even an option. I'm a pretty great lawyer, you know?”

“Sorry.”

“I’ll forgive you if you join me for dinner. What do you say?”

As you walked into the darkness of the streets, his shoulder occasionally bumping yours, you wondered if meeting him was a casualty. Maybe the world was finally smiling at you.

#nct smut #nct angst #nct fluff #nct au #nct imagines #nct ot21 #nct x reader #nct #nct 127 #nct scenarios #nct jaehyun

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felix21im · 3 years

Text

"Ice Cold", a Leon Kennedy x reader fanfiction

As an Art and Design student all you want to do is just knuckle down and finish that one goddamn piece you've been working on for months. Too bad your time is constantly stolen by your Waiter job with minimal pay, but hey, at least the tips are good if you unbutton your shirt that one more time.

Masterlist

Chapter 1: Bourbon

“That’s gotta be moved over like two inches to the left.” You muttered to yourself. Your eraser ran across the sketches and removed the pencil lines that you had created earlier. Studying interior design was one of the best ways to secure you that internship you’ve been working so hard for.

“Yoo hoo!” A whistle was heard from beside you, your fellow colleague and best friend tapped you on the shoulder, pulling you out of your study-induced trance. “You’ve got another table to serve. They literally just sat down so make sure that you greet them.” You let out a sigh, laying your latest drawing to the side. On the way to the table you check your hair in a mirror before putting on a smile. You can see two middle aged men talking while looking at multiple files placed on the table. You walk toward them. "Good evening, is there anything I can get for the two of you?"

The larger man with the shorter hair began to speak for the both of them. “Two bourbons please.” He said simply.

“Will they be with ice?” You ask, beginning to write down their drinks order on your small notepad.

“Yeah I’ll have ice in mine please.” The one with longer hair requested with a polite point and a smirk. The other man simply shook his head at the question of ice. You smiled at the two of them as you turned around. A few minutes later you return with both of their drinks and put them in front of them, being careful not to spill anything over their work-stuff. They both thank you with a small nod before you go around to your other tables. A few hours pass and people come and go but these two men still sit at their table, talking, drinking and taking some notes. You went over to their table a few times that evening to refill their drinks or bring some small things to nibble on, but you couldn't find out what they were talking about. It seems that as soon as you went over to them they changed the subject. “A super secret mission.” You chuckled to yourself as you stood at the bar, packing your study materials away. You can’t clean a bar with books and paper all over it.

While cleaning you heard someone clear their throat and you looked up. In front of you stood one of the men, the one with longer hair. “Oh my, excuse me. Can I help you with anything?” The man chuckled lightly and looked at the mess in front of you. “My friend over there and I wanted to get another drink before paying. But it seems you are quite busy here.” You looked at the mess and then at him and you couldn’t stop yourself from checking him out. It seems he noticed it, but didn't say anything. “I’m sorry for that, it won’t happen again. I’ll deliver your drinks to your table right away!” The man nodded and went back to his friend, sitting directly opposite them but also facing the direction of the bar. You let out a small sigh before putting the books away and preparing the drinks for the men. The man never said what drinks he wanted but considering the two of them have only been drinking bourbon, bourbon was a good choice. Before starting you tightened your apron, greatly exaggerating your waist, although you could barely breathe you knew that it made you more attractive to patreons. The patreons liking you equals more tips. While making the drinks you made sure to add enough ice in the second drink, so they just might forgive you for your behaviour. As you placed the two glasses on your serving tray you noticed the long haired man give you a small smirk. You went to their table once more and put the beverages in front of them while smiling at both of them. You also left a bill on the table before heading back to the bar, the echo of your shoes making you feel anxious as you walked, causing you to begin holding your tray in both of your hands in front of your stomach. On your way back you heard one of the men say something, which made the short haired one shake his head. You were wondering if they talked about something you did but didn’t want to be rude and ask them about it. It was pretty late already so only a few other people were still at the restaurant. You wanted to get home at some point that night so you hoped that the last guests would be leaving soon. Just as you thought that, you saw the two men you were serving get up and leave the restaurant. Before going through the exit door the man with longer hair looked back at you and gave you a wink. You let out a small laugh and shook your head. You went to the table they left from to clean up and collect the money. You noticed a small note with something written on it. A phone number, you realised. “Call me ;)” was written beside it. You looked around and put the piece of paper in your pocket with a light smile on your face. That smile quickly turned into a shocked face though as you noticed a massive tip laying next to the bill. You didn't even know what to do, so you just stood there looking at the money. As you looked at the flurry of green bills you could hear footsteps behind you and soon your coworker stood next to you, also looking at the money.

“Well, someone seems to like you”, they laughed “Maybe those apron and shirt tricks you do work too well.” You shook your head and left your coworker standing there as they chuckled at their joke.

A little while later the restaurant was empty thanks to the closing hours, and you cleaned the last tables. But before you had the chance to leave as well, you saw the door opening once again. “I’m sorry, we’re closed!” You looked up and saw the long haired man standing in the doorway. Other than just his hair you could instantly tell it was him, the fancy suit helped a lot. “Did you forget anything? I actually think you left too much money when you left with your friend.” You picked up the cash that was placed in an envelope under the bar and began to get the money out of it. “I can give it right back to you, if that's why you came back.”

The man shook his head and slightly chuckled. “No, the tip was meant to be like that. I was actually wondering..”, he stepped closer toward the bar you were standing at. “..Why didn't you text me yet.”

You had to laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry. Maybe I didn’t have the time yet because I had some work to do and you left that note like ten minutes ago!” You chuckled yet again. “Trust me I was going to call you!”

Now it was his time to let out a dry laugh. “Yeah, I'm sure you would have. Anyways, now that I’m here again and it seems your work is done, how about we get your favorite drink together?”

“I mean we are closed…” You raised your eyebrows and crossed your arms over your puffed out chest. “But I’ll let you get a drink this one time.” He seemed satisfied with that answer so he sat down on one of the bar chairs, followed by him tapping the empty space next to him. “At least let me make your drink before I sit down!” You playfully rolled your eyes and began pouring liquor into a shaker. You noticed him looking at his phone after receiving a message from someone. “Someone at home is missing you already?” You asked jokingly as you placed your fruity, yet strong, favourite drink on the bar.

He shook his head. “Not at all. Just my.. Colleague asking what I'm up to.” He put his phone on the counter. You went around the bar and pushed a glass towards the man and sat down on the empty stool beside him. “I never got your name. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” He smirked as he took a sip from the drink. “Not bad.”

You chuckled as you pointed at the name tag that was attached to your shirt. The man looked at you dumbfounded. “Well, this is awkward now. Doesn't seem like a fair trade anymore.”

“I’ll just hope that you were being respectful and you didn’t want to look at my chest.” You winked and couldn’t contain your laughter as you did up the buttons on your shirt, hiding the “money makers” as your best friend would call them. The man looked at your chest for a moment as you did up your buttons before quickly looking away. You could see his face get a little red, although you weren't sure if it was a reaction to what you just said or the alcohol finally showing effect. He cleared his throat and seemed to want to change the subject. “Ehem..the name’s Leon S. Kennedy, by the way.”

“Ooo S. Kennedy huh? Am I going to have to guess what the S stands for?” You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as you talked.

“Go for it.” He laughed and took another sip of the drink.

“Uhhh… Steven?” A head shake. “Sam?” A no again. ”Sexy?” A chuckle but still a no. “Ugh I give up!”

“It’s Scott.”

“Scott, huh? Sounds kinda cute.” You laughed as you looked at Leon and then the clock behind him. “Even though we haven’t spent much of an evening together we’re going to have to call it quits, I have to lock up now.”

Leon turned around to look at the clock. “That’s a shame.” He turned back to face you. “Y’know I’ve got some drinks back at my place if you’re interested.” He raised his eyebrows as he asked for the date to continue.

You thought about the offer for a moment, you didn’t have any classes in the morning so maybe it would be fun. “Wine?” You asked and he replied with a nod. As the two of you stood up from your stools you quickly paced around the restaurant making sure everything was perfect. The lights were off. All of the switches were off. And finally the security alarm was turned on. You shuffled Leon along as you left the restaurant, making sure that he wasn’t trapped in there when you locked the door. “Alright, that’s everything!” You placed your keys into your work bag and slung it over your shoulder. As the two of you walked to the parking lot you looked down at your phone and secretly texted your roommate saying you were going to be out much longer than anticipated and that your location was being shared with them. Just in case.

Leon fished his keys out of his pocket and tapped a button on the car keys, causing a nearby car to light up. With the size of that tip that Leon left an expensive black sports car belonging to him shouldn’t have been a surprise. “Woah! What car is this?” You asked, not knowing anything about cars apart from the fact that most of them have four wheels.

“It’s a Porsche Nine-Eleven.” He replied. “It’s my favourite.”

“Your favourite? Meaning you have multiple cars?” You questioned. “Can I borrow one? I don’t even have a car.” You chuckled as you opened the door to the luxury car. Leon chuckled too as he got into his seat and tapped a few buttons on the dashboard. The entire car began to roar as it’s engine was turned on, making your entire body shake. Making your entire body heat up. “Is it hot in here or is it just me?” You asked.

He chuckled. “It’s because your heated seat is on. I can turn it off if you would like.”

As the car traveled you looked out of the window and when turning to your left you noticed that the lights in the car softly lit up Leon’s face as he drove the car. Showing off his sharp jaw and slight stubble.

After a twenty minute drive you step out of the car onto the gravel driveway and you hear the stones crunching underneath your feet. Leon walks up beside you and leads you up the stairs to the front door. Reaching into his front right pocket he pulls out his keys and unlocks the double doors, allowing you to walk through before he did so too and then close the door behind him. “Woah! You have such a cool house!” The large modern chandelier reflected onto the marble flooring in the entryway. Leon kicked off his shoes and pushed them over to the side of the wall, prompting you to do the exact same. “You have no idea how much I hate these shoes, they are so uncomfortable, especially when you wear them for twelve hour shifts without sitting down.”

“Why on earth do you wear them if they hurt you?” He asks as he takes off his jacket, hanging it up on a coat rack beside the door. He reaches out his hand to take off yours as well, to which you respond with a smile. You turn around and he carefully takes it off of you, followed by him then placing it on the coat rack next to his own.

"I don't have much to choose from when it comes to clothing. Just in general our work uniforms aren't really the best of the best."

Together the two of you went into the kitchen and you sat at a bar stool, leaning on the counter. As you waited for Leon to fix you up a drink you noticed just how empty the house has been so far. “Wow it’s quite empty, going for the minimalistic vibe huh?”

Leon shook his head as he placed two wine glasses down on the counter, both with ice. “I just haven’t gotten around to decorating this place yet.” He poured both glasses full and sat then leant on the counter in front of you, placing your drink next to your hand. “I mean I’ve only been here for like 3 years but I’m a busy man.”

You picked up your drink and almost dropped it after hearing that response. "Three years? You must be reaaally busy if you didn't have time for at least some decoration. What are you doing all the time anyway?" You took the drink and a small sip before standing up with it still in your hand. Leon looked at you kind of confused, but following you nevertheless. You walked around the kitchen, then the other rooms. You were talking nonstop about the stuff Leon could put on the walls, the floor or just anywhere really. He couldn't even say anything because it seems you were in your own world already planning the entire interior design of his house. Leon was following you through all the rooms as if he was actually visiting you and not the other way around. While planning the designs for Leon’s home you realised just how excited you were to do this officially as a job in the future. Creating your own interior design company and being your own boss was something you had in mind ever since you were a child. After who knows how long you both finished your drinks and also the house tour. You ended back at the kitchen where you started and both sat down on what seems to be the only chairs in this humongous house. Leon went away for a few seconds before returning with yet another bottle of what appeared to be some expensive wine. “You’re not just trying to get me super drunk so you can kidnap me, right?” You asked him jokingly, but also slightly worried. After all, what were you doing here in a complete strangers house?

“If I was going to kidnap you I would have done it already, buttercup.” You gulped but shrugged it off after looking at Leon, who smiled at you. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad being kidnapped by him. He's got quite the nice home after all. Leon stopped you in your thoughts as he handed you a glass of wine. "It's really good, trust me. Nothing against your favourite drink, but still very tasty." You took a little sip from the wine and looked at him with big eyes.

"Wow. This is actually really good. I've tasted many different brands of wine but never one like this. You do know your stuff, huh?"

He let out a small laugh which also made you smile. You didn't know if it was the alcohol but you suddenly felt really hot sitting so close to this handsome man. "Anyway, what are you doing besides working at that restaurant? I saw some school books at the bar earlier, were they yours?"

You nodded lightly. "I'm currently studying Art and Design but I needed some money to even afford all that stuff. So that's why I ended up at that restaurant." He looked at you, maybe even a little sad. But maybe you just started imagining things.

"You don't have any family that supports you or anything?"

You shook your head. "That's kind of a difficult topic. My parents aren't really what they used to be after.. well, let's just say some inconveniences." You took another big sip, showing Leon that you didn't wanna talk about it anymore. Even though he wanted to ask, he stopped himself before ruining the whole evening, or well, night. You sighed and looked at him. "On our tour I think we missed the bathroom. Mind showing me the way?" He nodded and led you through the house. As you were in the bathroom Leon went up to his workroom and picked up an envelope. He went downstairs again and hid the filled envelope in one of your jackets' pockets. After a while you rejoined him in the kitchen looking really tired. "Leon, I don't wanna sound rude but I’ve had a long day and I think I really need some sleep. Do you mind calling me a taxi?" He saw just how tired you were so he didn't try to make you stay any longer. He grabbed his phone, called you a taxi and gave you some money for it.

You wanted to decline, but Leon didn't want to argue so you had no chance but to pay with his money. "I brought you here in the first place so the least I can do is pay for your ride home", he said. You both then went to the entrance where Leon helped you put on your jacket. After that you both sat down outside on the stairs waiting for the taxi to arrive. Neither of you said a word, but it wasn't a weird silence, you both really enjoyed each other's company and after a few moments of sitting on the cold stairs a car arrived. Leon brought you to the door and you told the driver your address. You gave Leon a small wave as the taxi began to drive off...

#resident evil #re2 #re4 #re6 #resident evil vendetta #leon Kennedy #leon s Kennedy #leon x reader #leon Kennedy x reader #leon s Kennedy x reader #x reader #resident evil x reader

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krystalites · 3 years

Text

stationary date with nct dream

genre: fluff all the way

word count: 2.4k

a/n: this popped off when I was planning a stationary date with a friend of mine. Jaemin's part got a bit short cause I kinda forgot about his existence and added it after I lost all my imagination.

⌜ mark ⌟

Between Mark's endless promotions and you studying for your exams, you thought it would be nice to plan a stationary date. You needed new supplies and your boyfriend Mark needed some time to himself.

When you and Mark arrived to the stationary you discovered a few days ago, you noticed that it wasn't as busy as usual. There were only a few people and all that could be heard was soft mumbling of these people along with the soft music playing in the back ground. After making sure Mark was well hidden under his mask, hat and sunglasses combo, the two of you quickly entered the stationary and immediately sprinted towards the rack here the colourful pens were stacked. After minutes of trying out pens and trying to create a nice colour palette, you moved on to the notebooks.

Hours passed by, the sun setting and everybody else leaving. Mark lifted his head from the Oz-Pack's he was checking out and smiled at the sight of you trying to pick out a pencil case. You looked adorable looking from a pencil case to another, examining them carefully so you could choose one of them.

"Come on, I'll buy you both of them." No matter how much you protested, Mark didn't listen and still bought you everything you've put in the little basket the cashier gave you when you first entered the store.

On the way back, you squeezed Mark's hand tightly. "I'm sorry if you didn't have as much as fun as I did." you mumbled quietly. Your boyfriend was quick to shake his head and smile.

"No, I really enjoyed it. It was quite calming actually. We should do it again another time."

⌜ renjun ⌟

The idea was all Renjun. Over the few months, he had grown a habit of keeping a diary. He would sketch stuff, tape random stuff, put stickers and more. When you told him that a bullet journal would look really nice and showed him some pictures, he became really excited. A few days later, he asked you to tag along while going to the stationary to buy the items he needed. Of course, you quickly agreed and took him to a stationary you knew that was pretty popular. By the time you guys got there, it was quite late. Only about an hour left to closing the store, it was almost empty.

You two quickly entered the store and started your little journey of looking for the perfect items. Renjun told you he would go for a more brown-ish look, so you both picked out lots of nude coloured supplies with black ball point pens and stickers. He also got a few sketching pens and markers.

And Renjun being Renjun, he managed to convince you to keep a bullet journal too. So whatever you guys picked for Renjun, you quickly bought them too and left the store minutes before closing. Not wanting to end the night, you quickly went to a convenience store nearby and bought a few drinks. You went to a park, sat on the picnic tables and started to decorate your journals.

You had finished earlier, leaving a bit more place for writing and less for decorations. You wrote something inside the journal, left it open and started napping with your arms under your head. Renjun smiled at the sight of you sleeping and noticed that your journal was open. He took it to close it, yet didn't when he saw what was scribbled inside. Instead, he smiled and leaned forward to plant a kiss on your hair.

Words weren't enough to express his endless and pure love to you.

Dear Diary,

I love Renjun.

⌜ jeno ⌟

Jeno was the perfect boyfriend, quite literally. He was caring, gentle, sweet, handsome, funny and all. But most importantly, he never forgot anything you said. Never. In your whole relationship of 3,5 years he never forgot anything you said. Including you telling him about how you ran out of school supplies over face time a few months ago.

Which is how you ended up in front of a stationary you mentioned to your boyfriend over a week ago. He pulled you in, walking over to the yearly agendas to get you the alpaca one you always wanted. Whatever you mentioned to him on that face time, he found all of them. He also payed for them, after you made him promise to let you pay when he wanted to buy something.

After the two of you exited the store and went back to the dorms, you quickly walked over to his shared room with Jaemin. Thankfully he wasn't at the dorm. You quickly pushed your boyfriend on the bed, climbing on his lap and squeezing the hell out of him. He laughed and kissed your forehead, hugging you back.

"Thanks for remembering everything I say, Jeno. You have no idea how loved that makes me feel." you mumbled quietly. He opened his mouth to say something, but you quickly put your pointer finger on his lips. "Let me continue. Seeing how much you care for me makes me really happy and I think that we could actually have a long and beautiful future ahead of us." you leaned to your bag sitting a few inches away from the two of you. You quickly pulled out a box out of the bag and threw the bag to its old place. You opened the box and pulled out two rings. Jeno's eyes widened as the realisation hit him.

"Which is why I'm giving you this promise ring. One day, when we're sure we can come out to the whole world, I'm going to marry you. Until then, let's keep these rings as a promise."

Jeno talked to his manager later that day, telling him that both him and you were ready to go public.

⌜ haechan ⌟

Donghyuck hadn't left you alone in days, clinging on you like a koala. You had come from your hometown to Seoul for two weeks. Your boyfriend missed you like crazy over the months, being in a long distance relationship could be hard sometimes. There were only a few days left, after flying back to your hometown you were going to start your spring quarter of the school year. A friend of yours who used to lived in Seoul had told you about a certain stationary, mentioning cute pens and school supplies you couldn't find in your hometown.

When you asked Donghyuck if he wanted to tag along, he whined and whined until you managed to convince him. You needed him anyways, you still had difficulties in speaking and understanding Korean.

"Do we really have to do this? You only have a few days left, I want to cuddle with you! And more..." He pouted and crossed his arms on his chest. When you finally arrived at the stationary, he entered it unwillingly but you know the mighty power of Stationaries. As soon as he stepped in, he was amazed by the environment and the beautiful supplies and before you knew it he was more excited than you.

After an hour of wandering in the stationary and picking out stuff, the store started to get busy. Considering you had to keep Donghyuck's existence there as a secret, both of you quickly payed and ran out. Giggling like high school girls, you two exited the store and called a cab. While waiting, you two compared the stuff you bought. You had bought all the stuff you were planning to buy and he bought a notebook and a bunch of pens to write lyrics.

The first song he wrote was a love song for you and only you, waiting to be shared to the whole world with only the two of you knowing the meaning behind it.

⌜ jaemin ⌟

When Jaemin came up to you with an idea of a gaming journal, you couldn't say no. He wanted create a little booklet filled with all the games he's ever played, along with ratings and comments about them. He was very enthusiastic about video games, always finding something new to play. Sometimes he would come over to your place to play games with you, or simply teach you how to play one.

The two of you met up at the stationary close your school, as it was in a less busier area. While there, he also declared that this meet up was actually a date. While he was looking at the stuff he wanted to buy, you tried out different pens. Noticing a little white board and a few colourful white board markers, you quickly bought them so you could use them for studying. You had to start revising for your exams in a few days. When you were done, you fund Jaemin in the huge store, now just following him around. He bought different coloured markers and pens and a black notebook. He also got copies of some game covers to stick on each page.

When the two of you got back to the dorms, you quickly pulled a chair next to his table where his small set up was. Placing your newly-bought items on the desks free space. You quickly began sticking the covers on each page, writing the games name and general information, how it ended, on what platform he played etc. At the very bottom, there were Jaemin's comments and a rating he gave. The first few pages were done, and you two were actually very proud of yourselves. It looked really good! Jaemin thanked you and gave you little kisses all over your face. After finishing showering you with kisses, he told you he'd play games with his friends. You quickly climbed on his lap and snuggled into him, burying your face in the crook of his neck with your legs swinging on his sides.

Jaemin smiled at the way you were cuddling with him and shook his head to the sides. He gave you a little kiss on the temple and started playing.

"Thank you sweetheart. You make me really happy by showing interest in my interests."

⌜ chenle ⌟

Chenle had bought you a few last minute plane tickets , and yes multiple tickets, because he wanted you to fly all around the world with him for Dream's world tour. He made you so happy, proving that he doesn't want to be away from you for that long.

When he came home and told you about the tickets, your first idea was to create a small photo album. Though, you didn't want it to be simple. You wanted small details, which is why you were at the stationary now, trying to decide if you wanted to decorate the album with blue-ish colours or pink-ish colours. The items were laid on a small rack in the store, in a less busier part of it.

The date idea was both yours and Chenle's. You wanted him to come with you, he wanted it to be a date. And the closest place where this date could take place was the stationary a few blocks away from his house.

"I think we should go with pink." Chenle said after a very long silence. "The album cover is cream coloured, and pink would go better with that." Imagining what it would look like, you agreed with him. You bought a bunch of pink ink pens, Stabilo's and Signo's. You bought a few black pens and markers too. Chenle insisted on buying pink post-it's too, so you also bought them. Even though the two of you were done with the shopping, you still looked around and bought some stuff for the next school year.

Hours passed by in the little store. You found your boyfriend in the very back of the store, checking out agendas. You tapped his shoulder with a little smile, and let out a loud laugh when he flinched.

"Calm down, Lele. It's just me." He pouted and flicked your forehead gently. "You scared me! Are we going home?" He asked and rubbed his eyes. He was feeling sleepy. Something he does whenever he feels like he could sleep at the spot. "You look tired. I think we should." With your answer, you exited the store hand in hand.

Later that night, right before falling asleep, Chenle whispered something in your ear.

"I can't wait to travel like this with you, I hope we can do it with our children sometime in the future."

And you did it.

⌜ jisung ⌟

To say Jisung was freaked out would be an understatement. The first day of school was tomorrow, and he hadn't bought any school supplies. He called you last minute, rambling something about going to the stationary with him because you had a lot of "knowledge about pens and everything. You being the amazing significant other you are, quickly agreed and got ready.

After meeting Jisung in front of the stationary and making a list of everything that needs to be bought, you quickly got to work. Files, copy papers, scissors, pens, erasers and whatever else you need for school. You bought a few stuff for his locker too, so he could decorate it. You got copies of all the necessary papers and forms, quickly putting them all in a file you bought from the store.

Almost an hour later, you were finished. You quickly went to the dorms together to organize all of the stuff you had bought. While sticking the name tags on the notebooks, Jisung looked up at you ,who was sitting on his bed, and smiled gently. After watching you carefully write Park Jisung on each tag both in Hangul and Romanisation for a few minutes, he finally spoke up.

"Hey Y/N..?" You turned your head to him and tilted your head to the side. "Yeah, 'Sungie?" He blushed at the simple nickname, despite having heard it for almost a million times. It really affected him that much. "I wanted to thank you for helping me out today. I'm sorry I asked you to come over just like that, but I couldn't have finished all of this so soon without you." You chuckled and finished tagging your last item, quickly jumping on his bed, right next to him. You pulled him on your chest by pushing his head on it. Jisung smiled and wrapped his arms around your waist.

This was his happy place.

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tobi-momo · 3 years

Text

MASSAGES

PAIRING: Akaashi Keiji x Reader

GENRE: Romance | Fluff | Comfort (?) | Highschool AU

WARNINGS: a TINY bit suggestive | massage gets a lil 😳 | shoulder kink?? | lmk if there's more

A/N: hi here you go uhhhh I'm still working on the setter's help chapter 8, but it should be out soon!! sorry if this sucks I literally just thought of it sorry

He heard the tiny groans you made in class, your neck adjusting uncomfortably, and your wincing face as you roll your shoulders in your desk. You looked like you were in pain. He narrows his eyes in confusion as he watches you shift in your seat, tapping his pencil on the desk while he tries to think of a solution.

He was upset when it didn't come at all that day.

"Hey, Keiji, can I come over tonight? I need help with English, if that's okay," you ask politely while walking next to him in the hall.

"Uh, sure, I can pick you up after practice." He glanced at you from the side, letting a tiny frown overcome his lips as he looked at your sighed annoyingly.

You hum in satisfaction at his answer, moving along towards the front doors to leave, leaving the man you were with by himself to practice. What was wrong with you?

~.~.~.~

"Okay, so I'm confused, what does this sentence mean again?" You point at your textbook, scooting towards him as you lay on his bed. His eyes flick to the line the pad of your finger lies on top of, reading it.

"How are you," he says in English, repeating it back in Japanese and explaining the grammar rules behind it. You nod along, staring. His voice was calming to listen to- it almost distracted you from the kink in your shoulder for a minute. But, it rolls around, creating a nuisance in your shoulder blade.

Grunting, you grimace and pull your elbow back off the bed, and balance on a single arm as you try to move your shoulder to get rid of the sharp pain.

"What's wrong? You've been doing that all day," Keiji says while moving closer towards you, swiping his work away from his side of the bed.

"Uh, nothing much," you choke down a harsh sigh, "I just have something in my back that hasn't left for a while, starting to get on my nerves."

Ohhh. Duh. That explains it. Well, what could he do about it? He bit the inside of his lip as he pulls his brain cells apart to try and help you out in some way. Oh- yeah, that could work.

"Will you let me rub your back?" The question popped up curiously, genuine. He watches you halt your motions and slowly look up to him in shock. What did he just ask you?

"Um, yeah...sure," you reply, turning your body to let your back face him and turning your head to the side to watch, even though you know you can't see anything. You feel his weight pick up behind you on the bed, his knees touching your lower back.

Tingling warmth trails up your skin as you feel his fingers graze your skin over the thinness of your shirt, his hot palm coming up to squeeze your shoulder. Now, you could only see his knuckles and his digits as they curl over the skin of your shoulder, a tickling sensation igniting when he trails his thumb back and forth on the other side.

"Can you tell me where it is?" He pokes at your back, telling you where his hand is, so you give him directions to the cramp. He finds it, pushing down a bit until you bounce. "Ah, sorry." He slides his hand down from your shoulder to its location, kneading in around it. Your head lazily falls back in contentment, your ears not picking up the stifled chuckle that left his lips when he saw you.

His hands worked really well, slowly eliminating the pain in your shoulder. It was almost intimate, the way his hands explored your back, especially when his fingertips brushed the skin under the fabric that covered your torso, and when his hands dipped further into your skin, forcing a soft sigh to exit your lungs. He smiled, content. You closed your eyes in peace, your mind yelling at you to keep from enjoying the breathless contact.

You kept the whine in your throat when his hands left your body, the ghost of his body heat still lingering on your now-relaxed muscles.

"Does it feel better now?" You can feel his fingers fiddling the bottom of your shirt when he asks, his vision sticking to the back of your neck as you turn your head to the side again.

"Mhm," you hum.

"Do...you want me to keep going?" He saw the expansion of your eyelids, already knowing the answer. "Here," he says with an obvious grin, slipping his fingers under your shirt once again.

You could learn English later.

again, sorry

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moonbeamwritings · 3 years

Text

street light serenade

Summary: Unable to sleep, you call up a certain mangaka for company, convincing him to drive around Morioh with you in the dead of night. What comes next exposes much more than what his most recent draft is focused on.

Author’s Note: Rohan simps come get y’all juice 🗣️🗣️ I hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think!!

Sleep eluded you, as it often did when you were overwhelmed with university work, tossing and turning for hours on end as your mind swirled with all of the assignments you were too worn out to finish. It was nearing twelve o’clock and you couldn’t bring yourself to pick up a pencil or read any more academic journals.

Finally deciding to just get up and move around, you ventured down the hallway and out into the kitchen. A cup of tea could do some good, you thought.

With the tea kettle on the stove, you hopped up onto your counter, mind reeling with other ways you could get yourself to fall asleep. You could go for a walk, watch tv, or listen to music. Maybe going for a drive could help alleviate the stress crowding your brain.

As the kettle began to hiss, your mind was made up. A drive around Morioh sounded perfect, but one question remained. Should you go on your own?

Without a second thought, you pulled your phone from the wall, eagerly dialing the number of the only person you thought would be awake at this hour.

Rohan Kishibe.

It took a few moments for him to answer, casting doubt on the possibility of your plan coming to fruition.

“What do you want?” His voice was sharp and biting, clearly not thrilled about being pulled from whatever he was doing.

“Hello to you too, Rohan. Do you want to come for a drive with me? I can’t sleep.”

Rohan’s response was immediate, sparing you no kind words or easy let-downs, “No.”

“Come on, please. I’ll pick you up! You don’t even have to do anything!” You knew you were beginning to grovel, trying to sway him to indulge your midnight whims, but you didn’t care.

“I’m not getting caught dead in that tin can you call a car.”

“Some of us have student loans to pay off, you know. Plus, who would see you anyway?”

You could hear him scoff through the phone, a short judgmental sound followed by a few long moments of silence. As soon as you thought he had hung up on you, he spoke, “I’ll pick you up in five minutes. If you’re not ready, I’m going home.”

A click sounded before you could get a word in. He was such a pain in the ass.

Rohan wasn’t easy to like, or easy to get along with, and he knew that, but you searched for his company often, asking him to coffee or lunch or stopping by to give him a new book he could use for research. At first, he would roll his eyes and scoff at your presence, annoyed at the prospect of someone so wholeheartedly thrusting themselves into his quiet little life. However, as time went on, he began to crave conversations with you, though he would never admit it.

So when you called, practically begging him to go for a drive, he couldn’t really say no, despite the apathetic lilt to his voice. Reluctantly, he pushed away from his desk, gathered his keys, and headed out. He would indulge you, if only just this once.

With your teacup long since forgotten, you raced around your home, throwing a comfy sweatshirt over your head and slipping into your shoes. Casting one final glance at yourself in the mirror, you lept out the front door, seconds after Rohan pulled up.

Plopping yourself into his passenger seat, you let out an excited greeting.

“You’re far too energetic for this time of night.” He replied, hand reaching across the gap to land on the back of your chair as he backed out of your driveway.

“What?” You whined, pouting at his tone. “Car rides are fun!”

“You sound like a dog.”

“Don’t be an asshole.”

The car fell silent as he began to drive, taking random turns and heading in whatever direction he pleased.

You brought a hand up to the radio, fiddling with the dials and buttons until you landed on your favorite station. You lowered the volume, sending the music into the background, rather than allowing it to ruin the calm energy in the car.

Rohan glanced over at you every so often, admiring the ways that the street lights mixed as they sped by, molding together to cast interesting shadows along your face.

The whole experience felt almost surreal in a sense, traveling through liminal spaces as some silly pop song played softly through the speakers. Just the two of you, the street lights, and the rumble of the car.

After another turn, you began to ask Rohan more about his life. What motivated him, what he was currently working on, when he was traveling again. Every question on your mind seemed to pass your lips, eager to become closer to the man that tried so hard to keep you at arm’s length.

He humored you, of course, but not without little complaints and jests, “You working for a gossip magazine or something?”

“No, I just want to get to know you. That’s all.”

Your response made something tighten in his chest. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had shown genuine, unmotivated interests in his thoughts and feelings. He was so used to the same questions, people entertaining his presence in order to weasel their way in, hoping to get some money or fame through his friendship.

You were different, a welcomed change.

When you exhausted your questions, he picked his own. How were your studies going, did you have anything lined up for once you graduated, what had you so worked up you couldn’t sleep. If you were going to know more about him, then he would like to return the favor.

Growing tired of taking the same turns, Rohan directed your little mission to a scenic overlook, angling the car so you could both stare out at the ocean.

It was peaceful, sitting under the light of the moon with you, watching as it bounced off the waves below, creating swirling patterns of dark sea and pale moonlight.

The orange glow of the streetlight on his side of the car casted a shadow along the side of his face, illuminating his high cheekbones and green eyes. Your eyes traveled down his neck, absorbing the way that same shadow warped against his neck and collar bones. In your eyes, he was rendered ethereal in this light, an untouchable being with an indescribable beauty.

“I didn’t know you had a staring problem.”

He could feel your eyes boring holes into the side of his head and it was starting to bother him. You can’t just stare at people, refusing to utter even a word. It was annoying.

Still so hypnotized by the light playing against his face, you responded without a second thought, “Rohan, you’re beautiful.”

Your words left you both speechless, rendered even more silent following your confession. You were embarrassed beyond words and Rohan was in absolute disbelief.

“What?”

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking. Just the,” you floundered, hands rising in falling in a desperate attempt to collect your thoughts, to form some sort of explanation, “the light.”

You cleared your throat, “The light behind you… it’s casting a pretty shadow. That’s all.”

Through your pathetic attempt at deflecting his question, he examined you, turning in his seat to really take you in. The same light casting shadows on him created a perfect beam on your own face, your soft skin and kind eyes on full display. He laughed, the whole situation both ridiculous and welcome at the same time. A mix of literal and subjective interpretations of the phrase “seeing someone in a new light.”

He scoffed, a smirk lighting his face as he pulled you closer, closing the distance created by the center console, “You talk too much.”

With that, he planted his lips against yours in a searing kiss. Your hands came up to trace along his cheekbones while his hand remained on the back of your head.

Rohan wasn’t one to wax poetic about just anyone, that much you knew. So as he pulled away, still holding your head as he began to describe how you looked under the light streaming in from outside, you felt your face warm. The slope of your nose, the curve of your cheeks, the delicate dip of your cupid’s bow, all made beautiful under Rohan’s diligent stare.

When he was finished, he readjusted his position to sit facing forward again with his hands resting on the steering wheel, “You’re alright, I guess.”

That’s the Rohan you knew and loved.

The two of you remained at the overlook for another hour, chatting and listening to music, but as he watched your blinking begin to slow, your eyes begin to grow heavy, Rohan elected to take you home.

As he drove along side streets, passing neighborhoods and businesses, he stretched a hand over to land against your thigh, gently squeezing it every so often.

Maybe he could afford to put this side of himself on display more often, if only for you.

#rohan kishibe x reader #rohan kishibe imagine #rohan x reader #rohan imagine #jjba x reader #jjba imagine

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random-thought-depository · 2 years

Text

Re: The Sisters of Dorley/Glow, Worm crossover idea: I wanted to do something with the gender dysphoria tester vampire, and I ended up creating a whole Tragic Backstory for her and getting Emotions about her, like actually literally crying in places! Enjoy! BTW @in-servo-necessitas, I ended up making "the social stuff is the first to go" and this one being an exception a bit of a plot point. Edit: oh, and if some of the references to a stove in the part where she's staying with a Russian peasant family are confusing, they're talking about a Russian stove, a kind of masonry heater.

Write up under read-more for length, and also content warnings for ableism, slavery, coercion based on mind control, violence/injury, sexuality, something that isn't technically a rape but is very unsubtly written to remind you of one, and some gross/unsanitary stuff referencing excretory functions. BTW the piss-themed body horror when tries to satisfy her bloodthirst from a cow was loosely inspired by how actual vampire bats work.

---------------------------------------------

Annaliese has the superficial appearance of a fairly short and small twenty-something girl. People's impressions of her tend to be either "creepy" or "terminally shy," depending on how charitable they're being. She doesn't talk much, mostly speaks only when spoken to, and speaks mostly in short utilitarian statements. She's very much an "alone in a crowd" type; tends to not interact much with other people even when she's in close physical proximity to them; her default state seems to be introversion. She'll sometimes smile and show a "politely restrainedly cheerful girl" persona, especially when talking to people she's familiar with and gets along with, but otherwise she tends to not show much emotion, and to come across as a little sad; people often suspect she has depression.

In her ordinary daily life, she never wears make-up, and the only jewelry she wears is a simple necklace on which she's hung three dented bullets from a Russian Civil War era Mosin-Nagant (she's drilled holes in them for the necklace string to go through). Her hairstyle is low-effort; she just secures her hair back in a bun behind her head. She usually wears skirts that end just above her knees; she wears pants only in cold weather, usually under the skirt, and she's almost never seen in anything short. She favors drab colors, mostly black and brown. The only thing colorful that she wears with any regularity is pieces of pride flag knit-wear she got as gifts from some of the Dorley girls and from some of the girls at the other institution, the graduate school; mostly shawls, caps, and round beret caps that remind her a little of the tops of round mushrooms. She wears sunglasses a lot; bright sunlight hurts her eyes and gives her a headache; it's a mix of a vampire thing and an autism thing.

She fidgets a lot. She spends a lot of time twirling and playing with a pencil or pen or making small fidgety hand motions and occasionally picking up random objects and toying with them a little. In recent years she's started often being seen playing with a fidget spinner.

She carries around a large thermos that she occasionally slurps from throughout the day. It's full of Coca Cola spiked with blood. She has a noticeable sweet tooth, especially for ice cream.

She often smells a little unwashed, like she could use a shower. It's not a very strong smell, she doesn't reek, but it's noticeable when you're close to her, and it can be... a little off-putting. She tries to shower and brush her teeth often enough to keep herself publicly presentable, but she has sensory sensitivities that make showering, bathing, brushing her teeth, and using mouthwash unpleasant experiences for her, and her hygiene routine reflects that.

Most of the time she lives in a small and rather austere flat near St. Almsworthy. She spends a lot of time watching TV; sports and soap operas, mostly. Her main routine pleasures are simple and solitary ones: TV, food, blood, masturbation, and some walking in the fresh air, ideally when the sun isn't too high. She gets her blood supply from Elle's franchise. She's been assured it's ethically sourced. It's dropped off at her flat. It's delivered in a van with a refrigerated compartment, and there's an appointment schedule so she can meet the van and transfer the blood straight to her fridge. The blood comes in plastic bags that come in a box. It's similar to getting milk from a milkman (she's old enough to remember when that was a thing people did).

She goes to Dorley mostly to give her blood. Useful substance, vampire blood. Especially hers. It's got multiple uses to them. It's the secret ingredient that explains how their brainwashing works so well, and it's the secret ingredient that explains how they're so beautiful and pass so well. Most of the women there don't know what she is or what she does. Bea and Maria do.

When there's a new person in the basement she does one full-strength thrall session with them. It's done a little room in the basement; Maria injects the new first year with a little of Annaliese's blood, and then Annaliese and that person are left alone together for the thrall session. One session is all Annaliese needs to set up pressures that will subtly but powerfully press on that person's mind for the next year. During the session she talks to that person. She defaults to old vampire ways of speaking during these sessions. She sounds more than a little like Cooper. "I only want to help you, dear one."

-------------

When Annaliese was human, she was someone who today would probably be diagnosed as a non-verbal autistic. If you asked her about her life as a human, she would say that mostly what she remembers is that she couldn't talk, and her stomach hurt a lot, and everything was loud.

Annaliese was twenty-three when her parents gave her to her first master. They gave her to him because he said he could help her, he could fix her, he could heal her, he could teach her to talk, he could make her healthy and strong, and with him she'd live a long life.

In her head, Annaliese thinks of her vampirization interchangeably as her transition and her elevation. When she speaks, she will default to the preferred terminology of whoever she's dealing with, which nowadays usually means transition. Elle told her elevation implies a hierarchy, vampires above humans, but transition implies simply change, one thing to another, and thus transition is better and more politically correct. Annaliese isn't well-attuned to these sorts of dynamics. Annaliese spent the first two decades of her life without language; Annaliese learned human language after her transition, when her first master used thrall to reshape her into a person capable of understanding human language and speaking. For her, words are a second language, words are hard, words are not very emotionally alive. And... Annaliese would never tell anyone this under her own initiative, but for Annaliese words are associated with a traumatic experience of neural network re-shaping; Annaliese is bad at language in something a little like the way a lot of people are bad at math because they associate it with memories of boredom and coercion and humiliation in school. Annaliese mostly thinks in pictures, sense impressions, sensations, and emotions; the conceptual language of the mind she had when she was human.

Annaliese would never discuss her transition with anyone on her own initiative, but if you asked her about it, she would say that it was hard, because at the time she did not understand language, and she knew very little about the world, and she didn't know what was happening to her. Her first master lay on top of her, and sank his fangs into her neck, and at first it hurt and she screamed and cried, and then she started to feel strangely good and the pain faded, and then when she was dazed and weak he pulled his fangs out of her, and opened his wrist with a knife, and pulled her mouth open, and pressed his wound into her mouth, so his blood went into her mouth. And it tasted bad, but she did not have the strength or, somehow, the motivation to reject it, to try to spit it out.

Annaliese did not complete her transition that first night, but it got her a good part of the way there, it got her far enough that, by the time her body had finished the first round of changes three days later, she had fangs. Not fully grown ones, but enough to drink more like a proper vampire. And her first master spoke to her mind to mind, not in words but in terms that she would understand. He sent her an image of herself biting him and drinking from him, and he made her feel the sensations of working her jaws to do this, and through a series of images and sensations and emotions he communicated to her what she should and should not do, and that this would be a part of her food now. And she drank from him, and changed more.

She didn't know what was happening to her. She knew only that her perceptions and abilities and appetites were changing. Darkness stopped being darkness, and when night fell she gasped in wonder at what the world of the night had become to her; a place of silver light, colorless but in which the shapes of objects could be distinguished clearly, as if it had been filled with moonlight that was somehow almost as brilliant as sunlight but still essentially moonlight (she would much later become acquainted with the vampire cliche that to them unlighted night is like a black and white movie, but her life at this point had not given her access to such a concept, and at any rate she thinks the analogy is misleading; it's a delicate crisp white light, the sort humans think of when they call something as white as the moon). Her stomach stopped hurting. Sounds became somehow simultaneously louder and quieter, in a good way; sounds were louder, but also clearer, less of a fuzzy confusion. She could move faster and with more precision, and she was less clumsy. She tired much less easily. She slept less, and her rhythms of activity and inactivity drifted away from their old synchronization with the rising and setting of the sun, and sleep became... a different experience. Foods started to seem strangely unsatisfying, as if they were missing something important. What she tasted when she drank from her first master became the best thing she had ever tasted, ambrosia, wonderful, and she craved it more and more. And it wasn't just the taste, she... felt better after drinking from him and started to feel bad if she didn't drink from him for too long; she seemed to need it in the way she needed water, though not as frequently.

Vampires can go out in the day, but bright sun irritates them. Annaliese didn't notice this, because for her it was nothing new. Bright sun had always hurt her eyes. It was only later that she learned that humans often experience sunny days as uplifting and beautiful and that the complication of that experience, the new hostility of the sun, is often a source of sorrow for the newly transitioned.

A new world of scents opened to her, richer than the world of sound. Scents were no longer things she experienced here and there, in short flashes; she increasingly lived in a scentscape. The smells of the forest outside her window became part of its forestness, like its greenness, and just as it was impossible to not see its greenness if she looked out the window, it was impossible to not smell it, the forest was around her for miles and miles and its scent was a sea she moved through. The smells of the fire in the fireplace became part of its fireness, like its light and its warmth, and its scents defined the experience of being in a room with it as much as its light did at night and its warmth did in cold. She began to perceive that people's body odors were as distinctive, as uniquely individual, as their faces, and her body odor became as much a part of her self-image as her face in a mirror, and the body odor of her first master became as much a part of how her concept of him and how she recognized him as his face. At the time this seemed just another of the changes. When she learned the broad outlines of what was happening to her, she at first assumed that this was a normal part of transition (or, as she thought of it then, elevation), that all vampires experienced the world like this. It took a while for her and her first master to realize that in her transition her sense of smell had somehow become enhanced to something far superior to vampire norm, that her sense of smell was special, that it was something that made her special.

Her first master had a woman with him, a human, and one day her first master put into Annaliese's mind an image of her biting and drinking from this woman, and communicated to her through a series of images and sensations and emotions that blood from this woman would make her strength increase faster and would nourish her after she was finished changing and this, too, would be part of her food now. And Annaliese began to drink from the woman regularly.

Drinking her first master's blood put Annaliese in thrall to him, and thrall is not just suggestibility or obedience but also connection, and a day came when through that connection her first master explained to Annaliese what he was doing to her and what she was becoming. He explained it to her in a language she could understand, by putting pictures and sensations and emotions directly into her mind.

He showed Annaliese her parents, and he showed Annaliese her own birth. And then he showed her twenty-three summers and winters, and as he did so he walked her through her own memories, so she would understand that he was showing her the length of her life. As he did so, he showed her the birth of her siblings; her brother and sister who had lived, and her two siblings who had died of disease as infants. And he paused on a picture of Annaliese and her parents and her brother and sister as they were in the present year of her life. And then he showed her more summers and winters passing. He showed her her brother and sister getting married and making children of their own. He showed her her parents becoming old. He showed her her parents dying, and he showed her them being buried, funerals like the ones of her grandparents in her memories, her brother and sister and their children weeping. And then he showed her her brother and sister getting old, and her brother and sister dying and being buried by their children. And through it all he showed Annaliese an image of herself unchanging, still looking like a young woman, staying beautiful and strong and healthy while her parents and then her younger siblings became old and bent and weak and sick and then died and were buried.

A person with no language, Annaliese did not know how long humans lived. But she had lived long enough for observation and inference to tell her that people were born, and then if they were lucky enough to not die of a childhood disease they grew up, and then they became old, and then they died. She understood that she was being shown the length of a human lifetime, and that she was being shown that through it she would stay unchanging, she would stay healthy and strong and beautiful while her brother and sister lived out their whole lives, and after they died she would still be alive and healthy and strong and beautiful and have more future ahead of her.

And then he showed her more summers and winters passing. And then he showed her a sort of thinking-in-pictures conceptual hieroglyph he had prepared for her. He showed her herself unchanged, in her village's cemetery, kneeling before an old and weathered headstone. And on the headstone, worn but still legible, was the name of her brother, and below it the numbers 1822-1898. And through a series of images and sensations and emotions he made her able to look at the letters and numbers and understand. And in the image she touched the headstone and felt how worn it was, and he showed her the slowness of the decay of stone, and she understood that this was old stone, that in this image her brother had been dead for a very long time, and that by implication the version of herself in this image must be very, very old, must have lived a very, very long time, must be much older than her brother was in the last year of his life, and yet she was still unchanged, still looked like a young woman, still was as healthy and strong and beautiful as she was now.

And then he showed her some of his own memories. He showed his memories of his life as a human (they were sketchy and fuzzy, because it was so long ago), and then he showed her his own elevation, and then he showed her enough of his memories to give her a sense of the vastness of them, of how small her own experience was compared to his; enough to make her understand that he had lived a very long time. And as he did so he drew her attention to how his body had not degraded in all that time, how he was as healthy and strong and handsome now as when he was elevated.

And then he showed her a vastness of time passing, summer and winter upon summer and winter. Annaliese didn't have a concept of thousands, but she understood that she was being shown a vast immensity of time. And through it all he showed her herself unchanging. Annaliese understood that she was being told that she might live as long as he had lived, perhaps longer; that one day her memories might be as vast as his, or perhaps vaster.

Annaliese's first master kept her under thrall for years, and reshaped her into his willing slave, so that after he removed the thrall she was still almost totally obedient to him. And while he reshaped her mind, he taught her to talk. Or, rather, he used thrall to reshape her brain into a brain that could understand human language and speak; cultivated the growth of new neural networks while pruning them into the shapes he wanted, destroyed old networks that got in the way and repurposed pieces of them, shaped her brain like a bonsai tree. He wasn't particularly careful or delicate about it, and he destroyed and mangled much of her old human self in the process. Like I said, part of the reason Annaliese doesn't talk much is that for her human language is associated with a traumatic experience of neural network reshaping; it has unpleasant associations in her brain.

If you asked Annaliese's first master why he elevated her, he would say that she made an almost perfect thrall, because her human self was almost an empty shell, little more than an animal, close to being a feral child, and he could move almost anything he wanted into the austere and echoing chambers of her almost empty but roomy brain.

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When Annaliese's first master really looked into her mind and saw what her perceptual world was like, he was overjoyed. He showed her what his perceptual world was like, that his sense of smell was better than a human's, but much weaker than hers, and he told her that his perceptual world was typical for vampires, and her superior sense of smell made her special, and valuable. He kept for a time and used her, and then he sold her on to a more powerful vampire lord who paid him handsomely for her. Annaliese spent the next three quarters of a century or so as a thrall of one powerful vampire or another, being traded around among them, passing from hand to hand, master or mistress to master or mistress. She was a thrall of six different vampires in that time. Every time she was sold, she was thralled to her new master or mistress and re-conditioned for loyalty to her new master or mistress. It... didn't leave her much of a stable self. Her masters and mistresses found various uses for her nose.

She could detect in people's body odors secret feelings that they were keeping out of their faces and voices and body language. Not perfectly, only a few simple emotions could be detected in body odor (excitement, fear, stress, sexual arousal...), but it was enough for it to be an ability worth exploiting to most of her masters and mistresses. They'd often have her be in a room with people they were dealing with, and have her report to them later any secret feelings she detected in their body odors. This was what her masters and mistresses most often used her for.

Sometimes they'd use her as a kind of bloodhound. Not as a direct combatant; Annaliese is physically feeble by vampire standards. Oh, by mere human standards, she is strong; she could win a wrestling match against the blacksmith in the village of her childhood, whose strength awed her when she was a little girl. But by vampire standards, she is feeble. But she could lead the real hunters to what they were seeking, she could go with the real warriors and sniff out hidden enemies, sniff out a hidden escape tunnel by the smell of water and earth and forest wafting up from it, sniff out certain traps, follow the scent of escaped enemies and guide the chase.

One of her masters had a charitable streak, and would lend her to a human doctor, who would discretely use her to diagnose diseases in his patients.

One of her mistresses would lend her to her rich human women friends as, basically, a birth control device. Annaliese can smell what stage of her ovulation/menstrual cycle a woman is on, when she's ovulating and when she's nearing ovulation. It's very easy! It's one of the most dramatically obvious parts of a reproductive age woman's scent profile! It took her a little trial and error to work out the six day sperm viability window around ovulation, but once she did she could pretty reliably tell these women when it was and wasn't safe for them to have sex with men if they wanted to avoid pregnancy. These women were... happy about what she was doing for them and grateful to her, in a way she enjoyed. Vampire lords and ladies rarely showed that sort of gratitude to a thrall. One of the women Annaliese helped in this way a few times talked wistfully about how much better she thought the world would be if only all women had Annaliese's sense of smell.

Of course, one of the things Annaliese's masters and mistresses often did with her was try to make more like her. Annaliese was made to sire a considerable number of new vampires. Her superior sense of smell didn't always pass on the childe, but more often than not it did. For some reason it seems to pass more reliably to women than to men; once that was noticed it was exploited to produce more vampires like her with more reliability. Annaliese has no idea what's become of the dozens of vampires she was made to sire before 1917; sometimes she wonders about them; what sort of people they are now, what their lives are like now, if they're even still alive.

In 1917, Annaliese and the vampire who was her master then were caught in the Russian revolution. The great Russian vampire clans had a good blood farm going under the Tsar, so they mostly sided with the Whites. They would have a reconciliation with the new regime and a resurgence later, but for now, as the new Soviet Union waged war against the Whites, it also waged a secret war against Russian vampirekind. Her master lost just about everything, and was reduced to trying to make it to the German border on foot, Annaliese in tow, with the two of them carrying all the worldly goods he had left on their persons. In Germany there was another branch of his clan who he hoped would take him in and give him a place of honor and authority among them. They moved slowly and carefully through the countryside, avoiding Red Army patrols, resting by day and moving by night as much as possible, a few times pausing to drink dry some unlucky peasant or Red Army soldier. Her master complained bitterly about how the Revolution had ruined everything. One day they attacked two isolated Red Army soldiers, thinking to score a bigger than usual blood meal, and ran into an unexpected difficulty.

Ordinarily crosses and other sacred symbols don't harm vampires, but sometimes, in the hands of a special kind of person, they can. Annaliese had a few times had the experience of her and her master or mistress having trouble with some priest or pious villager who could hold them off with a cross, burn them with holy water, make a house with an icon corner a place they could not enter, drive them back with a prayer. Her master thought targeting Red Army soldiers would minimize the risks of this; the communists were atheists, after all. Imagine his surprise when they encountered a Red Army soldier who could hold her master off and drive him back with a Red Star as if it were a cross, and who could make her master's ears and eyes and nose and mouth bleed and send him screaming to his knees covering his ears with his hands by quoting Marx and Lenin at him.

Anti-vampire powers of this sort are... tricky. It's an interaction, between the sort of person the human is and the sort of person the vampire is. Annaliese was not surprised the first time a man was able to drive her back with a cross; she understood the logic by which crosses, holy water, prayers, icons, and so on might hurt vampires. It was comprehensible to her as simple purity logic; they were sacred (clean), and she was unholy (dirty). Her life had not primed her to think of it in terms of the vampire as a living symbol of abuse and exploitation which could be harmed by directing at it a sufficiently passionate and heartfelt symbolic rejection of what it represented. To Annaliese the Red Star was simply an army symbol, like any other, and the things the soldier was saying were simply some strange words she didn't understand very well. She didn't see and hear them and recognize a threat to her way of life and a rejection of her way of being. And therefore they caused her no pain, and they did not harm her at all. And it simply confused and frightened her that they were able to make her master scream and bleed and drive her master to his knees. And with her master on his knees, too weakened and in too much pain to fight or run, the soldier shot her master point-blank in the cranium with his rifle, and it was a certain and instant death blow even to a vampire, and her master died. Her master was now dead, and for the first time in more than three quarters of a century, Annaliese was free.

It didn't really occur to her at the time. She was mostly just confused and frightened, and she ran away, and as she ran the soldiers shot after her and shot her three times. She managed to run away from them, and found shelter in a barn.

If Annaliese had been a strong vampire, like Elle or Gemma, her gunshot wounds would have healed in minutes. But Annaliese is a feeble vampire. It took Annaliese three days to heal. Three days in which Annaliese lay in the barn crying in pain and fear and confusion like a hurt child. It hurt so much, and she was so cold, and she had a dreadful appreciation for how alone she was now, and she had no clear idea of what to do now, and she could feel herself getting thirstier as the healing drained her metabolic reserves.

When her healing was basically finished the young man of the peasant family who kept the barn came in and found Annaliese, and he had a rifle and he pointed it at her, and Annaliese burst into tears at the idea that he might shoot her and fill her belly with lead and then she'd have to go through the misery of the last three days all over again, and she begged, "Please sir, don't hurt me!"

The young man looked over Annaliese's clothes and said, "Are you rich?"

Annaliese smiled a little and said, "I used to be. Not anymore."

The young man took pity on her, and led her to the little izba where he lived with his parents and his wife and his children, and the family took pity on her and gave her some soup. It was just human food, and not even hearty human food, not a bite of meat in it, mostly just potatoes and water, but it was better than starvation. And she could smell the malnutrition on them, and she suspected from the furtively envious way they sometimes looked at her as she ate that they'd given her more than they usually allowed themselves to eat in one meal. She supposed they must have recognized that she was even more wretched and vulnerable than them. And after she ate she thanked them and left their house and wandered away.

Three days later, Annaliese went into a forest and there she expelled some small unabsorbed remnant of that meal from the other end of her digestive system. And as she looked down at what had come out of her, she noticed that there were three bullets in it. She supposed it was a logical way for her body to rid itself of them. Shivering with revulsion at digging her fingers into that, she nonetheless dug them out and examined them, intrigued by these foreign things that had entered her and caused her so much pain. She examined the damage on them, the scratches and deformations where she supposed they must have struck bone. She wondered if she'd be able to smell blood or gunpowder on them, but they mostly just reeked of shit. She restored her clothing to walking-around order and carried the bullets to a thickly ice-lidded stream, and she punched her way through the ice and washed her hands and the bullets in the finger-numbing cold water beneath it. The water was the sort of cold that made her hands ache when immersed in it. When the bullets were clean she dried them out with a scrap of cloth she kept on her for drying her hands after washing them, and she put them in one of her pockets. She wanted to keep them. They meant survival.

For Annaliese, her next month of freedom was the most miserable of her life. She spent it almost feral, wandering through the forests and fields, resting a little while in a barn or a ruined house or something if she was lucky, usually with no shelter at all. She was so cold and so alone and so thirsty. It was the beginning of winter, Russian winter, and Annaliese is a feeble vampire, she felt the cold, almost like a human would. Feeding was... a problem. She'd participated in the fatal exsanguination of many humans, under the command of one master or mistress or another, but now, in freedom, she found that something in her mind recoiled from the idea of drinking up all the blood in a child or an old person (those would be the easiest prey) and leaving their bloodless corpse to freeze in the snow, to be found by some passer-by, or worse, by their family.

She tried drinking from cows under cover of night, but for her cow blood was clearly vastly inferior food to human blood; she was thirsty again in a day or two. Once she sneaked up to some poor bony cow under cover of night, and in the darkness she sank her fangs into its reeking neck and drank and drank and drank, drank to the limits of her capacity, drank until her belly was distended like she was a great bloated leech, until she sensed another swallow would trigger vomiting and she was in pain from how swollen her stomach was. She must have swallowed gallons of its blood; she'd pushed the superhuman distension capacity of her vampire stomach to its very limit. And then she ran away with the great weight and pressure in her belly, and beneath the stars, in a patch of forest, she squatted down and exposed her middle parts to the icy night air and slowly urinated out all the excess water, and as that happened she was crying, sobbing from the pain of her stomach being so swollen. It hurt so much, and it had tasted awful too, and her legs and hips and whole body became uncomfortable with the effort of staying in a squatting position for so long while she slowly pissed out gallons of excess water. And it... it felt wrong going into her, it was from a creature too unlike her, it was full of cowness, there was something in it like... food that couldn't be digested and passed in one end and out the other, but it was energy, energy she was rejecting and sending back out of her because she had to, like she was rejecting so much of the water she'd taken from it.

Blood is lousy food in conventional chemical terms; whatever lets a vampire keep going for weeks on a few liters of human blood, it clearly isn't conventional chemistry. Prevailing theory is that vampires are actually thaumatovores, that the blood is just a transfer medium by which they ingest their true food, which is some sort of less tangible life essence...

She was thirsty again in four days.

There wasn't much human food around either. The humans were hungry too.

So she ambushed and took blood from two humans; from a boy child and an old woman. But she left both of them alive, made sure to leave enough blood in them for them to survive and fully recover. Even though their blood was thin, and she couldn't take very much without risking real harm to them, because they were hungry too, and the child just didn't have very much blood in him, because he was so small. Annaliese never killed anyone in the months that she was free, and she's a little proud of that. Still, she was miserable; cold and thirsty and lonely and afraid. And then she got an idea.

She went back to the family whose barn she'd stayed in while her gunshot wounds healed. And she knocked on the door, and when the young man of the house answered she said, "Please, you were kind to me once, I'm very hungry, can I just have one more meal, and one night in your home, out of the cold, and maybe breakfast tomorrow too?"

And the young man called his mother and father over, and they looked over Annaliese, and saw how she was wearing the same clothes she'd worn when they last saw her, and how her clothing had deteriorated, and they saw the thirst on her and thought it was hunger, and they took pity on her, and let her in. And when the old woman and her daughter-in-law cooked soup for that night, Annaliese offered to help them, and when the soup was almost finished while they weren't looking she aligned herself so her body hid what her arms were doing from others, and she...

If Annaliese had been properly taught how vampires usually work, she'd never have tried this. With typical vampire blood thrall doesn't work with stored blood; the social stuff is the first to go; it needs to be taken direct from the vein! But Annaliese had never been told this. Annaliese didn't know this. So Annaliese had the idea that if she cut her wrist and bled into the soup, when the family ate the soup her blood would make them her thralls.

So Annaliese bled into the soup, and nobody noticed, and that night the family and Annaliese ate together and talked, and Annaliese slowly ate her soup and black bread and waited anxiously, her stomach a little queasy with uncertainty, waited for...

It worked! They were thralled! She could feel it! It involves connection and she'd experienced it many times, she knew the sensation. Of course, she'd always experienced it as the thrall before, this was her first time experiencing it as the mistress; it was recognizable but different; she was at the other end of the gradient this time; before motivation had flowed from the other to her, now it was flowing from her to them. Annaliese being Annaliese, the metaphor that suggested itself to her was a visual one: she was a mountain glacier in the time of spring snowmelt, sparkling and softening in the bright spring sun, and they were endorheic lakes at the mountain's base, and the thrall was at once the mountain that raised her above them, and the spring sun that warmed the edges of her and sent them flowing downward, and the cold clear streams of meltwater that flowed down the mountain and brought the waters of her into those lakes, so that they could be changed by the waters of her.

Time to test her control, to give her first command!

She sent an image into their minds of the old man fetching his old balalaika and starting to play it and sing one of the songs she found in his memories, and the young man jumping on top of the table and dancing to the tune on the table, and the others clapping their hands in synchrony again and again for accompaniment and singing the song with the old man. And in the image she made them all happy, having forgotten their worries and cares while they danced and played and sang, and she showed them enough of her own feelings about this image to make them understand that she wanted them to truly be happy, very happy, not just to act happy.

And she watched in a kind of wonder as the family acted out the scene she had shown them. And she could feel through her connection to them that they really were happy, very happy. Though in some of them there was a little anxiety bubbling under the surface, because it was strange that they'd gotten so happy so suddenly, and they didn't trust that. And she reached out to them and soothed down that anxiety, made it disappear, so that they were simply happy.

Now she sent an image of the young man's wife jumping up onto the table with him, and the two of them dancing on the table together. And again, the family acted out the scene she had shown them. And they were all very happy, and she was happy that she'd made them happy, and she smiled, a smile that showed her teeth (fangs retracted, of course! she didn't want to frighten them!) and started to clap her hands together in synchrony with them. Then she noticed an anxiety bubbling at the back of some of their minds that the table might break, so she sent an image of the dancers dismounting from the table and returning to their seats, and they obeyed.

And then she explained to the family what she needed from them. She showed them her thirst, and she sent images of herself drinking from them. And through images and emotions and sensations she explained that she would only take enough from them to keep herself alive and healthy, and with the burden of feeding her divided among the eight of them this would not seriously harm them. She showed them what being drunk from by a vampire felt like and what the after-effects of being not very heavily drunk from were, so they'd know what to expect and not be too scared. She showed them images of what they could expect their near-term future to be like; very much like before, the work of the farm would continue, she would not eat very much of their human food because she had their blood, the grandparents would still get to lie in their comfortable place on top of the great masonry stove at night and have their bones warmed. She showed them herself doing women's tasks, and then she showed them her strength, which was like that of a very strong man, and she showed them herself doing the work of a strong man while the neighbors weren't watching, so they would understand that she would contribute. And then she showed them an image of the young man of the family as he was in that moment, and she showed them an image of herself going up to him and drinking from him, and through images and sensations and emotions she reassured them that what she would do would not seriously harm him, that he would only need some time to rest and recover afterward and then he would be fine. And then she went up to the young man of the family, and he lifted his head so she could bite his neck more easily, and she drank from him. She tried to do it in such a way that the blood high factor would hit his brain quickly, so her fangs would not cause him too much pain. And when she had taken what she needed from him, she helped him drink some water and relieve himself and climb into bed, and she sent feelings of sleepiness and contentment and safety into his mind, so he fell asleep quickly. And Annaliese felt full, and safe, and content.

A month passed. One cold but sunny day Annaliese sent the young man of the family (Alexei, his name was Alexei) to a nearby town to buy some needful things. And he came back earlier than she expected, and carrying a large pack she hadn't sent him with, and with a woman walking behind him. They stopped at the door, and the woman knocked, and Annaliese opened it. And Annaliese breathed in the woman's scent, and the woman's scent was the scent of a vampire. And Annaliese could see the woman's nostrils flare a little, and hear her sharp deep intakes of breath, and knew the woman was sampling Annaliese's scent too. The ordinary vampire sense of smell isn't anywhere near as good as Annaliese's, but it's good enough for them to distinguish their own kind from humans by body odor.

And the woman said, "Hail, Sister and Mistress! I found your thrall in the marketplace, and I took the liberty of taking control of him, so he would lead me back to you, and I also took the liberty of refreshing myself from him, for I was thirsty. May I, your Sister, enter your demesne?"

Her demesne!

Annaliese let the woman come inside, and they told each other who they were, their stories. The woman was a prominent member of one of the great Russian vampire clans, but many of her clan had been killed by the Reds and the rest scattered. There was a branch of her clan in England who had promised her refuge and a place of prominence and honor among them, if she could make it to the border, so now she was fleeing west, by herself, with only what she could carry (so that was what the big pack was). She seemed to pity Annaliese a little when she heard Annaliese's story, and admire her a little; she congratulated Annaliese on her survival and her resourcefulness, and on how thoroughly she'd subjugated Alexei. She said when she'd looked into Alexei's mind she'd seen that Alexei actually kind of genuinely liked Annaliese and pitied her and might almost have willingly given his blood to her even without the thrall; really remarkably good job considering how little experience Annaliese had in subjugating and managing blood cows!

Annaliese gestured at Alexei and asked, "Can I have him back, please? He is mine, after all." And Annaliese's guest assented. Annaliese went outside, to where she kept a pot of her blood that she had allowed to freeze in the cold of deep winter. And she came back inside with some chunks of her frozen blood in a bowl. And she filled another bowl with left-over soup from last night, and dropped her frozen blood into it, and made a small fire, and heated the soup so that her blood melted into it. Her guest smelled the blood, and asked Annaliese what she was doing, and Annaliese said she was preparing the dose of her own blood that she'd use to re-establish her control over Alexei. Her guest asked how old that blood was, and Annaliese said she'd last had her thralls bleed her sixteen days ago.

Her guest laughed at her and said with some pity and some anger that Annaliese thought might be on Annaliese's behalf rather than directed at her, "You poor, silly girl! Didn't your sire teach you anything? It doesn't work like that! Blood's no good for thrall after it's been frozen or stored! For thrall, the blood needs to be straight from your body, still warm from the heat of your body!"

Annaliese was confused. But this was how she'd always done it! It had always worked before! She'd been keeping her humans thralled this way for a month now! They didn't like drinking her blood directly, it was less unpleasant for them to take her blood mixed into their food, and they didn't have fangs to drink properly with and she didn't want to have to cut herself every day.

And now her guest began to look at Annaliese with a kind of wonder and a kind of acquisitiveness. That really works for you? You can do that?

Annaliese assured her that it did, and suggested she just watch. And when the blood soup was a good temperature, Annaliese held it out to Alexei along with a spoon, and asked her guest to order him to drink it, to re-establish Annaliese's control over him. Her guest ordered Alexei to consume the blood soup, and Alexei drank up the liquid and handed the bowl back to Annaliese with the few bits of potato and vegetable uneaten, and Annaliese handed the bowl and the spoon over to one of Alexei's daughters take care of them. And her guest looked between Annaliese and Alexei in a kind of wonder as she felt Alexei become Annaliese's thrall instead of hers...

Annaliese was quietly horrified when she looked into Alexei's mind through the thrall connection and saw how callously her guest had treated him. She'd drunk far too much from him! And then she'd driven him like a cruel man drives a tired horse with the whip, made him walk mile after mile back to the farm from town even though he was weak from blood loss, overridden the limiters that ordinarily kept a human from hurting themselves through over-exertion, filled his limbs with hysterical strength so he would keep walking. She'd even made him carry a heavy pack of her things the whole way! He was in agony! His head felt at once hollow from light-headedness and filled with molten pain, and his mouth and throat burned with a need for water, and all the muscles he used to hold himself up and walk were aflame with muscle soreness. She immediately put an image of him lying on the bed and relaxing in his mind, and as he did that she put images in his mind and in the minds of the rest of his family of him resting in the bed while the others tended to him and she made them understand that something had happened to him that had weakened him severely and that he would need time to recover from and that he would not be doing any work, would not be doing anything but lying down and eating and drinking and unburdening himself of his wastes, for at least a few days. She also put some images in their minds of them talking to him and comforting him, so they'd know it was alright with her if they did that, and he wouldn't be too bored or too lonely while he recovered.

That evening her guest ate dinner with Annaliese and her thralls; it was just human food, and the food of a poor family, but it would have to do, and Anneliese apologized pre-emptively to her guest that, as she could see, Annaliese's demesne was poor. Her guest was displeased that the meal had no meat in it, and wanted Annaliese to order her thralls to slaughter the cow she'd seen in their pen, and Annaliese let just a little pleading come into her voice as she said, "Sister, it's their only cow." Her guest didn't press the issue, and together they finished their soup and black bread. Annaliese didn't feel too guilty or embarrassed; her guest couldn't be very hungry so soon after taking all that blood from Alexei! After dinner they had a little of the grandfather's precious vodka, which Annaliese spared a little of so she could give something nice to her guest, who was, after all, an important person, and used to wealth. That night her guest assumed, with the reflexive entitlement of a person used to privilege, that she and Annaliese would take the nice warm place on top of the stove, and Annaliese said, "Sister, I don't mean to be inhospitable, but please, let the old humans have it, they need it more than we do." For a few moments Annaliese feared her guest might make a dispute of the matter, but her guest acceded to Annaliese's right as a Sister and a Lady to manage her demesne as she saw fit (it was the most pathetic demesne her guest had ever seen, but Annaliese was free and had thralls and a demesne, and her guest was for the moment a homeless wandering refugee without followers; under the circumstances not treating Annaliese with respect seemed to her guest like throwing stones from a glass house).

Annaliese's guest stayed with Annaliese for a while, curious to learn more about Annaliese's atypically long-lasting thrall factor by watching how Annaliese used it.

Annaliese was happy to show her guest the blood extraction and storage methods she'd figured out. She was a little proud of her own cleverness! The extraction method was a modified version of a procedure some of her previous masters and mistresses had used to extract blood from humans for adding to food served at boss vampire banquets. It was a little like the technique the Maasai use for extracting blood from cattle (though Annaliese did not have that reference at the time). The old man of the family had some practice doing something similar to cattle, so with her guest watching she had him do the cutting and closing of the wound, while Alexei's wife held the pot to collect the blood. She'd had Alexei do the cutting and wound-care the previous times, because he'd bled cattle too and his eyes were better and his hands were steadier, but Alexei was still in bed-rest that day, so Alexei's father had to do. Alexei's father had done this with cattle more than a few times but found it more than a little disturbing to do it to a person, and Alexei's wife found it more than a little scary to watch the blood gush from Annaliese's neck like that, so while they were doing the procedure Annaliese reached out into their minds through the thrall connection and soothed down their discomforts and anxieties. The wound the procedure made on Annaliese was small and healed in less than a day, and the procedure yielded enough blood to keep the family in thrall for weeks. After Alexei's father finished closing and bandaging her wound, Annaliese covered the pot, took it outside, and put it in a secure place where animals couldn't get to it. There she left it to freeze in the cold of deep winter; frozen so, her blood would last and last, remain effective for putting and keeping people in thrall for... she didn't know how long, she hadn't discovered a limit, it took around eighteen days for the stored blood to be used up so at least that long. Annaliese winced a little looking forward to spring, when this wouldn't be an option anymore, and she'd have to bleed herself in smaller amounts every day or three; some experimentation had shown that was about the limit for how long her blood stayed useful for keeping people in thrall if it was stored where the heat of the stove kept it warm.

Afterward she drank from Alexei's mother and his wife and his thirteen year old daughter (his oldest child), to restore what she'd just lost. Being bled like that did take a lot out of her! She didn't drink from Alexei's father because she wanted his brain and hands as steady as possible if her wound re-opened - with her very fast-clotting and hard-clotting vampire blood it probably wasn't a big danger, but better safe than sorry! And she didn't drink from Alexei because, well, he was still recovering from how much her guest took out of him!

Annaliese's guest stayed with her for a couple of weeks, and then made a proposition. She said Annaliese's nose and long shelf-life thrall factor would make Annaliese valuable to her and valuable to the surviving intact branch of her clan in England. She proposed that Annaliese become her thrall, and come with her to England. The English branch of her clan had promised her a place of importance and wealth and honor among them, and if Annaliese would be her thrall, in England she'd keep Annaliese in comfort; in England, as her thrall, Annaliese would live well, and have all the blood she wanted. She promised she'd be a kind mistress to Annaliese.

Annaliese's experience of freedom was not one that inclined her to value it much. After a month of being cold and lonely and afraid and thirsty and living like an animal and another month and a half of living like an early twentieth century Russian peasant, the idea of being kept in the household of a rich woman, of being warm and comfortable and well-fed and cared for, was quite appealing to Annaliese. And so Annaliese breathed, "Thank you, Mistress," and drank from her guest's neck, and became her thrall.

---------------

Annaliese takes some comfort from the probability that the family she thralled was, in the end, not much harmed by her encounter with them. Annaliese and her new mistress left them two days after her new mistress thralled Annaliese. Before leaving, her new mistress had Annaliese alter their memories, make them forget about the blood-drinking and the thrall and remember Annaliese only as an ordinary unfortunate wandering young woman they had taken pity on and taken in for a while. And then Annaliese and her new mistress began walking to the west, and they left the family behind in their little house, to wait for the thrall to fade from them. Annaliese felt the thrall connections thin and weaken and break, the little rivulets carrying the waters of her down into them dry up. Good. They had their free will back now. They could make lives of their own. In freedom Annaliese had not killed anyone and had not permanently harmed anyone. She could say that truthfully.

Annaliese supposes somebody must have taught her something like human morality at some point between her transition and 1917, but she doesn't remember who, or how. That's not surprising. She often loses memories during the thrall brainwashing. Sometimes her new master or mistress will deliberately erase some of her memories, as part of resculpting her personality. Sometimes memories are lost as a side effect of reshaping other neural networks. The human brain - and the vampire brain - is a messily interconnected thing. A memory is a knotty, fractal tangle suspended inside a dense root network of associations and other memories, and the knotty fractal tangle-nodes that are memories grow around and through each other like the roots and branches of neighboring trees. The brain, like the body in general, isn't plug-and-play, isn't designed for easy modification. Thrall brainwashing is like taking knives and pruning shears and a chainsaw and strategic local applications of fertilizer to those fantastically interconnected and complicated and delicate neural networks; cutting here and there, creating a bloom of rapid chaotic growth here and there and shaping them like a bonsai trees. Even done with the greatest delicacy, there is inevitably disruption beyond the desired personality changes themselves. And Annaliese's masters and mistresses were often... not delicate. She knows much has been lost. She can perceive many places of cutting in her mind, like the stumps on a tree where branches have grown and then been cut or broken away.

Annaliese wonders, sometimes, about what sort of lives the people in that family had after she left them. The youngest child might have lived until around the turn of the twenty-first century, given normal human lifetimes.

Annaliese and her new mistress began their journey to the west together in the early morning, but they did most of their travelling in the dark. The day belonged to the Reds. The night belonged to them.

Before long they were in England, and settled down in an estate of the English branch of her new mistress's clan, and her new mistress got seriously down to the business of reshaping Annaliese into her willing slave. That was by now a familiar experience to Annaliese; this was the seventh time she was reshaped so.

Annaliese's new mistress kept her promises to Annaliese. Annaliese was valuable to her, for her nose, and for her long shelf-life super-thrall. Annaliese's new mistress found a number of uses for Annaliese's superior sense of smell and superior long shelf-life thrall factor. Annaliese was valuable to her new mistress, so Annaliese was kept in comfort. Of course, as with most of her past masters and mistresses, one of the things Annaliese's new mistress wanted to do with her was to make more like her. Annaliese's new mistress made Annaliese participate in the siring of more than a few new vampires, a few times as a sole direct sire, but more often as a co-sire with her mistress, the two of them mixing their blood in the new vampire and thereby creating a vampire with a mix of both of their traits and a direct bloodline claim on belonging to her mistress's clan. Many of the childe vampires Annaliese was made to produce in this period inherited her superior sense of smell and superior thrall factor, so soon Annaliese was not so valuable to her mistress anymore. But Annaliese's new mistress was not amoral; she had some definite ideas about right and wrong; they were different from mainstream human morality and some of them would have horrified most humans, but she had them; she'd made Annaliese promises, and she kept those promises.

Annaliese stayed with this mistress in England longer than she stayed with any other master or mistress except Elle; stayed with her almost fifty years, from around the beginning of the 1920s to some time in the 1960s. But eventually, when Annaliese was no longer so indispensable to her mistress, a time came when her mistress decided the greatest remaining benefit she could get out of Annaliese was the price she might fetch if she was sold to another boss vampire. And so, some time in the 1960s, Annaliese was introduced to somebody who looked like a young woman, and told that this woman was called Elle, and this woman would be Annaliese's new mistress.

Elle looked like a twenty-something woman, but Annaliese could smell that she was a vampire, and that she was much older. Vampire old doesn't smell like human old, it's not a rotting, but there is a real change and Annaliese can smell it, it's a... complexification, like the difference between a new growth forest and an old growth forest; the older a vampire is the more time they've had to accumulate a diverse ecosystem of microscopic parasites and symbiotes and commensals inside them, and that changes their scent. It's not a reliable clock, because it also depends on how much the vampire has travelled and who they interact with and what they've been eating and how much time they've spent in bacteria-rich environments and so on, but Annaliese can often smell when a vampire has gotten older than any human ever gets, and when they've gotten truly ancient, giant redwood tree old. Elle wasn't ancient, wasn't thousand year old vampire old, but Annaliese could smell that she was older than any human ever gets, she guessed she was at least similar to Annaliese's own age, maybe older.

And soon enough the day came when the transfer of loyalty was to happen, when Annaliese was to be thralled to her new mistress. And she was brought into a room with Elle, and Elle opened a couple of the top buttons on her shirt and moved the fabric aside a little to expose her smooth pale skin, so Annaliese could bite and drink more easily.

It was a familiar process to Annaliese by then; she'd gone through it six times before by then. Her mistress had ordered her to submit to it, and Annaliese was incapable of rebelling against that; the thrall brainwashing didn't leave room for significant rebellion against her mistress, and once she was thralled to Elle the thrall wouldn't leave room for significant rebellion against her reshaping. But by now Annaliese had developed a strong "Oh, I hate this part..." attitude toward being resculpted for loyalty to her latest master or mistress. It always destroyed pieces of her personality, and she didn't like that. She'd learned how to preserve as much of herself as she could through the process, to cling to and protect cherished memories and attitudes and thoughts; she'd gotten rather good at that by the time she was thralled to Elle, because by that point she had a lot of practice at it (preserving as much continuity of self as possible through thrall brainwashing is to Annaliese what falling is to Viv).

But, of course, that was the only rebellion Annaliese could do at this point. So when Elle opened her shirt and leaned to give Annaliese easier access to her smooth pale neck, Annaliese obediently bit her and began to drink. And as she did that Elle held the back of Annaliese's head, to support it a little, help her drink more easily, and as she did that Elle said, "You're very docile," and strangely, Elle sounded sad.

-----------------

Elle is... not exactly young for a vampire. Older than Annaliese. Born and transitioned some time in the sixteenth or seventeenth century. Vampires functionally don't age on human historic timescales, but vampire society is violent, and was more violent a century or two ago; four or five centuries is a respectable age for a vampire, it means you're a survivor, one way or another you've managed to avoid being killed longer than most. But Elle spent most of the time since her transition as a thrall; by the 1960s she'd only been free, been her own person, for a little over a century. And vampire longevity is very much a superstar economy; the powerful and influential vampires tend to be old, with the feedback loop running both ways; power and influence gets you relative safety and therefore longevity, and if you've managed to survive more than a few centuries you've probably got some kind of advantage going for you, whether it's unusual abilities or sheer strength or social intelligence or connections or something else or some combination of things. By big boss vampire standards, Elle is young, and has the will to change things that young people tend to have. Boss vampires tend to be conservative in the way that old and privileged people often are; they've got things more-or-less the way they like them, and they're not hugely motivated to change things, and they're aware that they could easily lose much more than they gain from change. Oh, of course they almost all want more power, money, status, and followers, and jockey with each other for those things, they almost all have grandiose plans in the back of their minds in approximately the way a lot of humans have "maybe one day I'll win the lottery" or "some day I'll figure out a way to get rich" in the back of their minds (part plan, part daydream), but... the vampire world tends toward a sort of violent stasis; lots of violent jockeying between the various boss vampires in which lots of thralls and low-level minions get killed, but serious change is slow; it tends to be like trench warfare, with a lot of blood being spilled for small gains in centuries-long jockeying contests between boss vampires who'd be kind of fine with things staying more-or-less the way they are for another century or six. If it wasn't for the dynamism of human society, vampires would almost certainly still be happily living in castles and extracting blood tribute from their peasants.

Elle's... also got some of that in her, but less so. Elle's got some sharper ambitions. Only Lieke above her when she's finished with the first phase, and she intends to be finished with the first phase this side of 2050 sort of ambitions.

After she's finished thrall conditioning Annaliese for perfect obedience to her, Elle tells Annaliese about her ambitions, and about her little bloodline problem that's holding them up, and about how she hopes Annaliese can help her solve it.

She's not interested in Annaliese as a bloodhound or as a detector of secret feelings. What she's interested in is; can Annaliese tell a human's gender by scent?

Of course! Men and women smell very different! Especially if the woman is ovulating or doing her menstrual bleeding, but at other times too! It's one of the most obvious parts of a person's scent-face!

No, not that. Can Annaliese tell human trans women apart from other kinds of human by scent? And Elle has Annaliese meet some human trans women face to face, to familiarize her with their scent.

Oh, yes, very easily! There's no such thing as a passing post-transition trans woman in Annaliese's perceptual world. The hormone treatment and removal of the testes changes their scent, they definitely don't smell like men anymore, but it doesn't make them smell exactly like typical women either, they smell like their own thing, it's a unique combination of hormone profile and other things that creates a distinctive kind of body odor... It's a very distinctive kind of scent-face! She'd definitely recognize it now that she's familiar with it!

No, no, not that... It takes a while for Elle to explain that what she wants to know is, can Annaliese smell gender dysphoria? Can Annaliese tell by scent if someone is an egg, or something adjacent to that? It probably takes a while to explain partly because, I guess, those terms wouldn't have existed then.

Now that's trickier! At first Annaliese didn't know if she could do it. Elle had set up a transition clinic, precisely to acquire a sample for this sort of thing for Annaliese, and Elle introduced Annaliese to trans women in various stages of transition, including pre-everything, and Annaliese studied their body odors intensely, and eventually...

Yes, there is a distinctive smell that these people all have and most people don't have! It's subtle. It's like... noticing that somebody has a few hairs between their eyebrows, or noticing that somebody has a particular small birth mark on their neck. She wouldn't notice it as a consistently distinctive feature of a group of people if she hadn't been primed to notice it as such. But now that she knows what to look for, she can definitely notice who does and doesn't have that scent.

Now came the trickiest part. Because Elle didn't want the sort of people who'd go to a transition clinic in the 1970s. She wanted the sort of transfem-adjacent people who might be happier as a woman but who would probably never transition on their own initiative. Could Annaliese learn to recognize those by scent?

That was trickier, because by definition the ability to use self-reports to confirm that Annaliese had made the right choice was limited. Annaliese could sniff people and notice that they smelled similar to but not exactly like the sort of person who sought the services of Elle's transition clinic. They could give those people who smelled kind of right questionnaires and psychological tests and notice things like how often they answered "somewhat agree" or "strongly agree" to "if I woke up as a member of the opposite sex tomorrow, I don't think that would be so bad" and "I kind of wish I was born a member of the opposite sex." These benign methods turned out to be enough to give Elle a functional induction criteria for the first phase of her "programme"; not perfect, but enough to start with.

They showed Annaliese Dorley Hall, where the candidates who passed the first selection would go through the first phase of the programme. They showed Annaliese the little room in the basement, where she'd be doing the initial thrall sessions with the candidates.

After that it was learning by doing. Grab the candidates Annaliese thought maybe smelled suitable. Lock them in the basement. Subject them to the first phase of the programme, the Dorley phase. Explain to them what was going to happen to them and give them a choice: accept being remade into a woman, or choose to die. Write down which ones chose death and which ones chose survival on those terms, and look for any correlations between that and what they smelled like. Notice which ones submitted compliantly to the reshaping and which ones had to be softened up with abuse, and look for any correlations between that and what they smelled like. Notice which ones accepted their new lives with resignation, and which ones seemed to blossom as women, and look for any correlations between that and what they smelled like.

The first class had a pass rate which, considering what they were doing, probably showed Annaliese had gotten her criteria pretty close to right. The experience of following years enabled her to refine her criteria and increase the pass rate.

They actually got somebody who passed second selection, who was suitable for the second phase, surprisingly quickly. But after that it took a while to get a second one. So that girl spent three rather lonely years after her second transition as the only one, actually kind of enjoying and being grateful for her thrall brainwashing process because it meant Elle gave her lots of personal attention. Of all the girls who passed second selection, that one probably loves Elle the most; she was reshaped to love Elle, of course, but also she came to love Elle in the way many only children love their mothers. When another first phase graduate passed second selection she was so happy to finally have a Sister to keep her company.

--------------

Aside from her role in the 'programme,' Annaliese's main job at Dorley is to control the human security men.

Their direct supervisor is a man chosen by Elle for special attention. She pulled strings to have him disappeared from a prison; he was a man no-one would miss much. She didn't vampirize him, but she did subject him to thrall brainwashing. He's now totally loyal to her, and he doesn't need to be directly controlled by blood thrall for it, which is very helpful. Elle has rotated a few such men through Dorley, replacing them when the old one gets too old.

The rest are relatively ordinary mercenaries; they work for one of Elle's franchises. Mostly they're kept under a low-level thrall through feeding them some of Annaliese's blood in their food. It's similar to the micro-dosing done to the 'first years' as part of the 'programme,' but a higher (but still small) dose. It doesn't really control them, they're still mostly themselves, it just subtly bends their minds in certain directions. They're not told about the force-fem thing or the vampire thing, and it insures they don't think much about some of the weirder things they do see. It insures that when they're rotated to other assignments in a few years, Dorley won't stick out in their memory, will become a place they don't think much about. It insures they don't ask too many questions, even in the privacy of their own heads. And it insures that when they're told by their supervisor to take a long drink from the flasks they're made to keep on their persons while on duty, which they've been told are full of a cocktail of performance-enhancing drugs to reduce fatigue and increase focus and improve reflexes and situational awareness, they comply without thinking too much about it.

Those flasks actually contain some of Annaliese's blood, mixed with some other stuff to hide the taste somewhat. The long drink from them puts them under true full thrall to her. This is done in sensitive situations, such as if they have to go into the basement while the inmates are obviously undergoing feminization.

In Grandmother's time, "sensitive situations" of this sort included the security men participating in some pretty extreme physical and sexual abuse of noncompliant initiates/inmates. The security men had to be thralled for that, because the options for a person who'd do that job were pretty much thrall or hand-picked sociopath (or contemporary Dorley girl i.e. really weird zealot, but in Grandmother's time they were believers in the notion that there was a special terror that came with being abused by men and a value to the programme of that). During these times, Annaliese had to control them. She had no choice. Literally no choice. It was Elle's will, so the thrall brainwashing insured she would do it.

At such times, Annaliese used something very different from her usual thrall control techniques. She used verbal instructions as much as possible. To her words are a second language, words are associated with self-loss, words are not very emotionally alive, and in this context all that was good. Naturally she thought in terms of a visual metaphor; the thing she was doing was like a red-hot lump of metal, and words were like tongs, allowing her to manipulate it while touching it only with unfeeling metal, allowing her to manipulate it without touching it with her feeling hands and being burned by it. She gave the thralled security men something like a briefing, in which she pre-loaded them with commands. She even verbally loaded in chains of if-then contingency commands, like she was programming computers. She tried to set them up so they'd follow her orders autonomously like pre-programmed robots. She tried to minimize the chances that she'd have to take the wheel while they were doing the deeds she ordered them to do.

The images, thoughts, and sense-impressions coming back to her through the thrall link at such times were bad enough, and she had to pay attention to them to make sure everything was done right. Elle wasn't the first mistress who made Annaliese do things that gave her moral injury trauma, most of her masters and mistresses had done that, but that didn't make this easy for her. At least it wasn't like being made to run down a human and participate in drinking them dry and act like a pitiless predator, something many of her past masters and mistresses had made her do. At least with this was permitted to, to a limited extent, express the pain it caused her. While she made the thralled security men do horrible things she retired to the privacy of a little room in the basement and if it was really bad she shivered with revulsion and sobbed and scratched at her arms with her fingernails and chewed at her lip with her fangs until there was blood in her mouth. She wanted to bang her head against something hard again and again, but she couldn't do that, it'd distract her too much, she had to pay attention to what she was second-hand experiencing through the thrall link so she could take the wheel if anything unexpected happened. The head-banging had to wait until after the deed was done (at such times it was usually the first thing she did when she could, for a certain definition of the word, relax).

The thralled security men often went through something similar. Of course, the parts of their brains that controlled their bodies obeyed orders perfectly; punched and kicked and slapped and restrained without hesitation, taunted and laughed at and mocked their victims, and so on. But through the thrall link, Annaliese could feel/hear that parts of their brains the thrall didn't reach were silently screaming in horror. After the job was done Annaliese would order them to forget the abuses she'd made them do and substitute some innocuous false memory in their place and then she'd monitor until her thrall control over them wore off, but she knew that years later some of them would occasionally have nightmares that were really memories, memories of the abuses she'd made them do bubbling up from parts of the brain the thrall didn't reach.

Annaliese is very glad that under Bea that sort of "sensitive situation" happens... a lot less often. Not never, but a lot less often. She really hates that part of her job.

---------------

Sometimes they use Annaliese to do one of the abductions. Not usually. More often the abductions are done by the security men (under blood thrall except for their thrall-brainwashed leader, of course), or by some of the Dorley girls themselves. Occasionally Elle sends some girls from the other institution, the graduate school, to do one of the abductions and drop the victim off at Dorley, but she doesn't do that often; it's important to Elle's plans that the existence of the graduate school remain a secret from most vampires as well as humans for now, and every time a graduate school girl leaves school grounds is an invitation to the demon Murphy. Elle doesn't like to send Annaliese on anything that even vaguely approximates a combat mission very often; Annaliese's nose and super-thrall are too valuable to her, she doesn't like putting Annaliese in physically dangerous situations. But...

Annaliese is good for this work! She's a registered with the Directorate, on-the-books vampire, so using her isn't as much of an op-sec risk as using graduate school girls. She's a mousy, weak-looking, seemingly terminally shy seemingly young woman, a little creepy and off-putting but the sort of person a man usually doesn't see as much of a physical threat - and she could probably win a match against a male heavy-weight champion wrestler. That relatively non-threatening appearance concealing secret strength is a huge asset for this work. And she looks like a young woman, and she's definitely no Mata Hari but she's pretty in the way young women are usually pretty and straight boys often don't have high standards and the sort of people Dorley takes in are often rather lonely, it's often easy for her to lure the victim to some isolated place with promises of sex or just companionship. And she can do the vampire mind-whammy thing, you know, like the Dracula going "look into my eyes" and hypnotizing people thing, sometimes... it's a bit inconsistent for her, the power isn't strong in her, it doesn't always work for her, it works best if the victim's mental defenses are down, and it works better on some people than on others. And she can put people under blood thrall, all she has to do is get enough of her blood into the victim and they're her puppet and she can literally just have them walk or take the bus back to Dorley with her and have them knock on the door and ask for Maria and say to Maria "Hi, my name is [their name] and I'm here to report for my feminization."

She actually literally does do that sometimes. Maria and Bea figure it's her idea of a joke. One of the few times they can think of when she shows evidence of having a sense of humor.

When she brings a victim back under thrall they'll usually put them through the initial medical examination and into their cell while they're under thrall and she's controlling them. It's easier that way. For all sides of the interaction, Maria thinks; she knows that during these operations Annaliese uses the thrall to soothe the victim's fears, make them... not happy, but placid. Annaliese makes them forget anything that might clue them in to the vampire thing and gives them false memories of their abductions consistent with her being only human, of course.

Sometimes, if the victim lets slip that they're a virgin, Annaliese will actually let them have sex with her before she mind-whammies them and thralls them and leads them back to Dorley. It seems to her a kindness to let them have that experience at least once before that part of them is cut off (she's been told that it doesn't actually work like that, a lot of that tissue becomes part of the new organs, but, you know...). Besides, when it's finished and they're feeling happy and sleepy and fortunate and safe and loved (sometimes feeling the most loved they've felt since they left the house of their parents), it's very easy for her to do the mind-whammy thing and then open her wrist with a knife and have them lick up her blood and put them under thrall that way. She edits their memories to make it seem like she's a human girl who drugged them in a more conventional way, but she lets them keep the memories of the sex.

There was one time in 2011 when things went... not well. She'd tried to grab that one by brute force while he was walking home alone at night, and she'd kind of forgotten how fragile human bones were and hurt him worse than she meant to, and he had the desperate scrappy ferocity of someone who'd been through some serious pain and some serious fear and thought he was about to die and had nothing to lose, and she'd been flustered and clumsy and twisted her ankle rather badly and that had slowed her down enough to almost let him get away. It was OK in the end, she caught him and subdued him and he got medical care at Dorley and just needed some time to heal, a little of her blood helped, the girl is basically OK now though her left shoulder and left arm and the left side of her torso still pains her a little sometime. And Annaliese's ankle healed within two days, of course. But it was... an unpleasant and scary experience for both of them. Worse for the poor boy, of course (or... girl... she's a girl now, and sometimes they don't like it when she talks about their past selves as boys).

She has a vivid memory of limping after him and... She'd gotten a very good impression of his scent by sitting next to him for twenty minutes on the bus a few days before, and he smelled almost like the women who went through Elle's legal transition clinic (he smelled almost like Vicky and Stef, though she didn't have that reference at the time), and words were especially hard at that moment because she was flustered and hurting, but she made herself say, "Please, wait for me, dear one! I only want to help you!"

---------------

When she does the thrall session with the new first year in the little room in the basement, she uses words, but the words aren't the most important thing. The words aren't trivial, she uses words because words are important to most humans, but Annaliese is not primarily a creature of words. She talks to them also, directly through the thrall link, in her natural conceptual language; images, emotions, sense-impressions.

Many of them come to her trans-adjacent but with alexithymia about it. Wordless communication is particularly appropriate for such. Not primarily a creature of words, she communicates without words to people who have no words for their feelings.

It's not like conventional thrall brainwashing. It's not like taking shears and knives and chainsaws and fertilizer to the tangle of branches and roots. It's more like strategic applications of fertilizer and herbicide. She encourages some neural networks to grow and others to shrink. A visual-somatic metaphor, again: she caresses the other person's mind and pushes her fingers gently into it, it has a firm jelly consistency with things suspended in it, like one of those gelatin salads, and she feels the tangles of memory and association and motivation, and she finds and touches and strokes the ones she wants, enflames a desire here and a hope there, soothes down an inhibition here and an anxiety there and a fear there. And she plants images and sense-impressions and ideas in their mind like seeds. And in the pathways she wants she presses and implants something that will be like a subtle but persistent weight, bending their mind in certain directions.

The feminization is actually the easy part a lot of the time. So much of the work involved in that is handled at the intake, in only starting with people who have certain particular subtle scents in their body odor. More often than not they come to her already wanting it deep down. She just has to find the neural networks she wants and whisper to them "Grow, grow," and soothe some fears and inhibitions.

The harder part is usually the loyalty. It would be so easy for a graduate to destroy Dorley. They could do it with a phone call. Every first year is a bomb she must defuse. Every last one of them has to be turned into a true believer or into somebody who feels immense loyalty to the people in their new community, ideally both. And this isn't normal thrall brainwashing, she doesn't have the luxury of months and years of full-strength thrall in which to prune and prune, sculpt and sculpt; she only has an hour and a half of full-strength thrall to work on them and after that it all has to be persistent, subtle pressures. Real finesse is required. This is often the part that's hard, that's tricky.

Some of that is handled at the intake too. There isn't exactly a tell-tale scent for being a lonely and lost person, but humans can often recognize one easily enough when they see the biography and habits of one. And there actually kind of is a scent for it; when somebody has been stressed and sad for a long time, it's actually a pretty obvious characteristic of their scent-face, much more obvious than the trans-adjacency thing; it's something Annaliese looks for when she samples the scent of a candidate, and its presence or absence influences her choice of whether to declare the candidate "suitable" or "unsuitable." So many come into the basement craving love, nurturance, emotional warmth, companionship, acceptance, community, structure. And Dorley provides those things, in abundance, for a price. Often Annaliese just has to subtly but powerfully bend their minds toward acceptance of the price.

And because more often than not they come to her wanting the feminization deep down, often she can use the feminization as a trellis to grow the loyalty around.

"You are being helped. You are being given something precious. You will be grateful. You will love the people who are helping you. You will love the people who are giving you something precious. For the rest of your life you will remember that they helped you and gave you something precious, and you will be grateful to them for it, and you will love them for it."

And much can be accomplished by simply softening the brain, restoring it to something like a small child's neuroplasticity, and letting the human side of the 'programme' handle the rest. Dorley girls often have intense emotions about their time in the basement. This is only natural. But it is also because, on a neurological level, it is something like a second childhood for them. Under the influence of the thrall micro-dosing their brains grow and prune new neurons at a furious rate, become malleable in something like the way a small child's brain is malleable. Their brains become soft clay for what the 'programme' is pressing into them. And then when they leave the basement they stop eating foods laced with tiny amount of Annaliese's blood, and the micro-thrall fades, and their neurons begin behaving normally again, and the new patterns set, harden, become hard to change.

-----------------

Annaliese likes Elle.

Somebody once asked Annaliese what she thought of Elle, and Annaliese smiled with heartbreaking sincerity and said she likes Elle because…

Elle lets her eat all the ice cream she wants. Elle lets her fidget as much as she wants; Elle doesn't order her to keep quiet hands. Elle lets her choose her own food. Elle lets her set her own hygiene routines instead of ordering her to shower every day like her previous mistress did. Elle lets her pick her own clothes and style her hair in the way she wants (a freedom Annaliese values primarily because it allows her to avoid things that set off her sensory sensitivities).

To Annaliese, these small kindnesses make Elle the best owner Annaliese has ever had.

Elle even tries to set Annaliese up with a boyfriend or girlfriend sometimes. Annaliese has never accepted so far. Annaliese wouldn't know what to do with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

It's hard to figure out what Annaliese's authentic sexuality even is, if that concept is even applicable to somebody like her. She doesn't remember having any fully developed sexual feelings as a human, though she did have some in retrospect proto-sexual ones. Then again, so much of her human self was lost when her first master reshaped her into a person capable of speech, and it was so long ago, she doesn't have a very clear sense of what her human self was like. Some of her previous masters and mistresses made her have sex with them and reshaped her to enjoy that as part of reshaping her to be loyal to them.

Elle suspects Annaliese is by natural inclination lesbian or bisexual or pansexual, because Annaliese once told her that the smell of ovulating human women is "actually kind of hot." Elle suspects no master or mistress would have bothered to meddle with a thing like that, so she suspects it's connected to Annaliese's natural sexual inclinations.

Aside from masturbation, the closest thing to an authentic expression of Annaliese's sexuality is maybe... Sometimes Annaliese participates in group sex with the girls at the other institution, the graduate school. She doesn't actually have sex or take off her clothes, but she'll domme people using blood thrall (consensually, with boundaries negotiated beforehand). Prevailing theory among the girls at the other institution is that Annaliese is some combination of kinky ace and autochorisexual. And very firmly a domme, although... it doesn't seem like she gets off on domination qua domination, more like for her this is a kind of adaptive sex. Runner-up theory over there is that she's a lesbian or bisexual/pansexual woman with a lot of traumagenic sexual inhibition.

The girls at the other institution kind of like Annaliese. Annaliese is their only link to old vampire culture. There's Elle, of course, but Elle seems if anything kind of actively averse to passing on the culture to them. They can see why; from the bits and pieces they've been able to get from Annaliese much of old vampire culture sounds terrible. But... From Annaliese they can learn vampire folk tales, and some of those are kind of entertaining and interesting. They like the ones that seem to have maybe a little bit of an anti-patriarchal subtext; the ones about how, in the time of the old vampire lords and ladies who lived in castles and extracted blood tribute from their serfs, desperate young women and teenage girls would sometimes flee an abusive husband or an unwanted arranged marriage or something like that, go to the castle of some vampire lord or lady, and beg that old monster for transition, even though they knew this would mean becoming a thrall and what that meant. Elle was once one of those women; that was how she transitioned.

Elle has promised Annaliese that someday she will set Annaliese free. She didn't say when, and Annaliese suspects it won't be in the near future, but this is more than Annaliese's other masters and mistresses ever gave Annaliese. Annaliese would like to be free someday.

#The Sisters of Dorley #Glow Worm #vampires #content warnings in post #warning: long

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