#like you didnt do shit but type in a computer and say you have a talent

[jennrypan]

If you use AI art and claim it as your own.

You're a loser and should be fought in hand to hand combat with every artist in the world.

DRAW YOUR OWN SHIT YOU CUNT. DAMN.

[weirdmageddon]

i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

[octuscle]

Hi, im a 19 yo nerd, yesterday some kids wre playing with a soccer ball in front of my house, the ball got into the garden of my house and when i threw it out, i didnt nlticed i threw it a bit far and it arrived into the house across the street, breaking a window, the neighbor, a single man, came to my house and told my parents what i did, he demands i repair the window by myself, i dont know how to do that, can you give me a little help?

First of all, you do what you do best. You sit down at your computer. Enter "repair soccer window" into Google. A lot of things come up that won't help you at all. Care tips for footballs. And advertisements for household contents and liability insurance. The soccer care thing doesn't look very helpful, but it might be interesting.

Shit, you can waste a lot of time on the Internet very quickly. After half an hour, you're back to the current and upcoming match day in the Premier League. But you still don't know anything about repairing windows. "Repairing windows". Perhaps it would help to remove soccer from the search query. It doesn't matter why the window is broken. It just needs to be repaired.

Now we're getting closer to the point. Lots of tutorials on youtube. Surely there's something there. Unfortunately, you don't even know what kind of window is broken. And what exactly is broken. Damn, just how many different types of window panes there are. You can find an article about German windows. They have a lot of damn cool features. I wonder if that would be a market to sell and install German ones here. What this tilt function is supposed to do is still not clear to you. But these shutters on the windows are hot shit. You'd like to install something like that at your parents' house.

You're guaranteed not to install something from Schüco for a few thousand dollars in your neighbor's house… You're assuming that your neighbor will have vertical sliding windows in most of the rooms, just like you do. Probably made of aluminum. A shame, really. Horizontal sliding windows made of wood with glazing bars would fit the character of the house much better.

Haven't you ever worked for your neighbor? You must still have plans and views from the street side. Or at least a photo. Yes, here. Where were you standing again? How hard did you throw the ball? What was the wind like? Just because you did an apprenticeship as a carpenter doesn't mean you're stupid. So it's probably the window of the study on the second floor. Yes, it must have been rotten, you can see that quite clearly in the photo. Just replacing the glass won't help much.

Nowadays, working on the computer is half the battle. Calculating material requirements, programming saws for cutting. And downloading some porn in between. Hehehe, unlike your father, you don't need to hang up raunchy calendars in the workshop anymore. Your father is hardly ever seen here anyway. It's no longer his world. In his day, a carpenter needed a hammer and a saw, he used to say. Old man, those days are long gone.

Before you start, you went to your neighbor's house across the street. Real life is sometimes more reliable than virtual life. But it was the right window, you measured it again with your laser measuring device. You had miscalculated by a few millimeters. You are a craftsman with passion and dedication. You don't mess around. You deliver precision work.

"Mr. T, better than before my throw," you say with a grin. But it's the pure truth. But you know exactly why your neighbor insisted that you carry out the repair. He'll do anything to get you to fix things in his house. And when no more chairs tip over and no more doors squeak, you'll take care of Mr. T. yourself.

He asks if you can have a look at the shower after the window. While you take off your dungarees, you say that you are a carpenter and not a plumber. You will probably need help. You don't have to ask Mr. T for long.

[beary-rambles]

Forgettable date

r.q: Can I request a sweet smut modern aemond x fem reader where they were both so busy that they forgot about valentines day so aemond surprises reader with a romantic dinner and they end up just skipping dinner for some steamy bedroom time and in the middle of it, aemond whispers to reader "you're mine" and that was his way of proposing to reader, thank youu

w.c: 1.1k

c.w: office worker!reader, fluff, sweet aemond, aemonds job is left ambiguous, smut, oral (f!receiving), p in v, not proofread.

masterlist

You were so swamped with work you had no concept of time, you were sure it was february as you had to pay your rent on the first of every month but if someone asked you what day it was you would have no clue. Same goes for your boyfriend of three years aemond, despite the fact the two of you dont work in the same field your schedules just so happen to both be so packed all the time.

as the rest of your coworkers began to pack up their stuff for the day you sat at your desk still fiverously typing away at your computer, you had a presentation in a couple days and report due tomorrow afternoon so you had decided to stay overtime.

some of your coworkers had come over to talk to you as they were wrapping up for today.

“you got any plans after work?”

“no.”

one of them gasps, “what do you mean? he didnt plan anything?”

you furrow your brows but dont turn to look at them, “what do you mean? he?”

“your boyfriend? or did you guys break up or something?” you turn to her at the mention of him and tilt your head, “why would he have planned something?”

one of them laughs while the one your looking at shakes her head and sighs, “do you really not know? its valentines day.”

“no…” you turn towards your computer, looking at the date and gasping, “oh my god. i had no idea.”

“did you guys not talk this morning?”

“we did but neither of us mentioned anything.”

“maybe hes planning on surprising you later.”

you groan and run your hands along your face. what if he was and you had nothing prepared? shit you didnt even have a gift for him.

your coworkers laugh and wish you good luck before they leave.

you have an internal debate before deciding to pull out your phone to text him.

‘aemond oh my god happy valentines day it completely slipped my mind im so sorry.’

you anxiously bite your nails as you wait for him to respond. youre tempted to lock your phone shut as you notice the three bubbles pop up.

‘oh is it valentines day? i had no idea. im so sorry baby ive been swamped with work happy valentines day my love. im about to get off for the day, ill see you once you get home. love you ❤️’

you let out a sigh of relief at him admitting that he had no clue either. most people would assume that he was just saying that to make you feel better but you knew aemond wasnt like that and he wouldn't hold it against you.

‘i cant wait to see you my love. im going to be staying for a bit longer to wrap up.’

You notice he reads the next then decide that you’ll pick up some baked goods on the way home as a gift and hope that you dont stay too long as you turn off your phone and get back to work.

an hour and a half later with a box of a variety of backed goods in hand turning the key to your shared apartment with aemond. youre immediately hit with the smell of your favor meal and a smile graces your face. he knows you love it when he cooks.

“im in the dining room my love.”

you walk in and you gasp at the sight of the set up table set with flowers and candles with your favorite meal plated out.

you feel hands wrap around your waist from behind you and a kiss placed on your cheek.

“aemond..”

“happy valentines day my love.”

he lets go and take the bag out of you hands, “you picked this up?”

“on my way home. grabbed your favorite.”

he hums and walks back over to you after he places the bag on the table.

he grabs your cheeks and gives you, “how was work?” he mumbles as he continues to kiss you, “it was good, report done,” you pause for a moment as he begins to kiss down your jaw and sigh, “presentation almost done.”

he begins to trail kisses down your neck, stopping to suck on it.

“you?”

he hums, “fine.”

hes not much of a talker, especially not when hes busy leaving hickeys over your next.

“aemond the food.”

“fuck the food. i have a meal right in front of me.”

you squeal as he lifts you up bridal style and carries you upstairs to you bedroom. “youre so ridiculous aemond.”

you yelp when he tosses you on the bed and makes his way on top of you, kissing you deeply.

he pulls away from you grabs his shirt from the back of his neck and rips it off before he goes back to kissing you.

you moan against his lips and he pulls away from you hand moving down to your waist to take off your pants, your underwear sliding along with them.

“aemond.” you whine as he begins to kiss down your stomach.

“let me take care of you tonight.”

he licks a strip up your slit and uses his hands to grip your waist and presses you down as he continues to lick at you. your heads reach down and grip at his hair pressing him closer. you can feel him laugh against you which leads you to moan out loud, “aemond.”

“let me take care of you.” he repeats and wraps his lips around your clit sucking on it leading you to throw your head back onto your pillow.

he doesn't let up even when he can tell youre close and youre begging him to slow down he keeps up his pace until hes finished licking up every drop of your cum after you had finished and kisses his way back up and smiles at you.

“happy?”

“ill be happy after you fuck me.”

“you're never sated my love.”

in a rush you both take off the rest of your clothes and he reaches over to grab a condom out your bedside table before you reach out and grab his wrist.

he looks over at you with a confused look, “if you dont want continue.”

“thats not it i just,, maybe we dont need it tonight.”

hes face turns smug as he grabs the hand you had wrapped around his wrist to kiss it.

“i love you.”

“i love you to-” youre interrupted by him pushing into you and you moan gripping onto his shoulders and bringing yourself into the crook of his neck.

“fuck you always feel so good my love.”

you cant respond as he begins to thrust into you. his hands lock with yours and his lips are right against your ear.

“youre mine.”

you moan, “say it.”

“im yours aemond im yours.”

you dont notice as he reaches over into the bedside table and grabs a tiny black box.

“then marry me.”

you feel like you're in a daze as he continues to thrust and shows you a stunning ring inside the box.

“what?”

“marry me.”

[caramelcleopatraa]

vi. SUIT & TIE

word count : 2.1k

x : hello hello hello beautiful people! it's finally starting to get good you guys! (lol) as always, excuse the errors you see, and leave comments.... I love comments. I do have a taglist! comment down below if you want me to add you <3

content: Mafia!Roman Reigns x Designer!Reader, suggestive themes, 18+

Your outfit for today 

It was a surprisingly quiet Saturday morning. Today your shop was closed, but your staff was still working tirelessly to finish the influx of custom orders. This was no uncommon flux however, it was that time of the year. La Mesa Alta’s annual ball was right around the corner, and people were coming to you so that they could scrounge together some outfits. You’ve been on your feet for a while, cutting at different types of fabric, sewing, perfecting, and repeating. This would be a vicious cycle, but you loved creating too much to be burdened by the workload and demand requested of you and your staff. If anything, that demand made you work harder.

A busy 4 hours later, you finally get the chance to sit down. It’s been a day already, and it's only noon. You were a little concerned that Mercedes didnt get back to you at 10, but you knew she would call you back at some point in the day. You open your laptop, and see a notification at the top from a name you didn't expect. 

! 1 Gmail Notification from dearrawashington@gmail.com

‘I know you’re fucking lying’

“Umm Gio! Mads! Here… and quickly!” They hurry quickly to your side and look at your computer. “What is i- what the fuck is that?” Gio says, pointing at the notification in the top right corner. Madison folds her arms across her chest and sits in her hip, rolling her eyes “I know that’s not who I think it is.” You hear Gio sigh and add on, “This bitch.”

“Calm down with the ad libs alright? Who is this girl anyway? I didn't know anything about her until she came into my shop.” You felt like you were missing out on some important information. Everyone knew about this girl except for you, and you know everyone. Usually. “Oh, I forgot, you weren't out here when she was acting a damn fool.” ‘Excuse me?’

“When was this?” You sit back in the swivel chair, looking at Gio. “While you had your appointment with Roman. She was looking through the clothes saying that her friend JT could make one design better than your entire rack.” ‘THE FUCK?!’ 

You didn’t stand for disrespect. Both of them knew that. So they knew that this wasn't gonna slide by you. “Lemme see what this email is about,” you say, typing in your password and opening up your Gmail. You were in no way excited nor looking forward to anything that this email was going to say.

Good Morning Ms. Semele,

Hello, I hope I'm not bothering you.

‘You are.’

I admired your shop and your staff so much! Working at your shop seems like such an honor.

‘This fake ass bitch.’

I was wondering how I can apply for a job there. I would like to work closer with the best fashion designers in the east coast, and you are deserving of the title.

‘Whaaaaaaat?!’

Please email me back at dearrawashington@gmail.com

~ With love, De’arra Washington

It was dead silent for the next minute and a half. She talks shit about your shop and then wants paid employment here the next day? You had seen all of it. ‘Maybe this can be helpful?’ With this influx of orders, you had been putting your staff through overtime. Maybe one more person could lighten the load for them. You didn't like the idea of her working at your shop based on what you had heard, but if she was offering help, you were going to give her a chance. You clicked the three dots and selected reply and typed a short response.

Hello,

Thank you. Much appreciated. Could you send in a resume please, so that I can look at your work experience?

~ Y/N Semele

“What the hell are you doing?” Madison looks at you with wide eyes. “Calm down, I don't plan to employ her, I just want to see if she’s any good. I already have another person who wants to work here that has a good resume.”

RING RING

Your phone buzzes loud against the counter and an unknown number displays at the top. You pick up the phone to hear a voice you had been waiting to hear all morning. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, it's Mercedes. I’m calling from my personal phone.” Fucking finally. “What happened to 10am?” She chuckled to herself and replied, “Got busy. Do you want the information or not?” “I paid good money, didn't I?” She sighs and says, “Fair.” I settled into the chair and put the phone on speaker. You told Madison to tell the other employees to take their lunch break while you three listened to Mercedes give a rundown on De’arra. She joins back with you and Gio and you tell Mercedes that you're ready.

“Alright. De’arra Washington, daughter of Kenan Johnson. He was one of the richest thiefs in the west coast. Specifically in California and Oregon. He stole everything from pencils to old paintings to jewelry. He was on the run for a while, so he fled to Florida and started his own family business and made that into a family mafia. Here in Florida, he met up with a prostitute and turned her into a housewife and had a baby girl while orchestrating robberies from the comfort of his home. De’arra is all kinds of spoiled. Barely got her high school diploma, and her father bribed the president of Howard University so she could study there. Got into a lot of trouble up there stealing shit.. Who would've guessed. And daddy was there to save her. After 2 years, she decided she didn’t want the college life and desired wealth, like her father and moved back to Florida. Speaking of Kenan, he's been eyeing Roman since he moved down here. That’s probably why De'arra is hanging onto him like a lost child. If I knew anything from my years in this business, I'd guess that they are the family trying to challenge Roman, or disassemble the Anoa’i family.”

“So you’re telling me that I'm dealing with a girl with a case of sticky fingers?” She laughs lightly and says, “Basically.”

! 1 Gmail Notification from dearrawashington@gmail.com

This must be the resume.

Of course! Here is my resume 

resume.pdf

~ With love, De’arra Washington

“Is she emailing you?” Mercedes asks, her tone laced with confusion, understandable though. “Yeah, I'm gonna see what she can do or if she can help me out here at the shop.”

“I've seen her resume before, it's forged. She’s only worked at minimum wage jobs. So anything that has to do with corporate jobs and fashion design is fake as fuck.” ‘What the hell is going on here?!’

“You still gonna give her a chance?” Gio says, reading the fake resume. “She’s not getting a chance, but I'm still gonna let her do a training session today so I can see what she is about.”

2:30 pm

You emailed her back and told her to come here at 2:30 pm to do a training session, which would technically be more like orientation. Both Gio and Madison knew that this could go sideways quickly if she tries something, but they also knew that you weren’t dumb. You knew how to handle yourself in bad situations. And you didn’t let anyone push you around. A red corvette sped across the huge display windows and disappeared into the parking lot on the side of the building. You took a deep breath to prepare yourself for the foolery you were going to face today. You fixed up your desk space and closed the file filled with De’arra’s personal information. 

 You heard the door open and saw two people walking in. “Ms. Semele?” You give her a polite smile and depart from your desk to shake her hand. There she was, wearing a pink crop top stopping right below her breasts and dark ripped jeans with pink butterfly strappy heels. She was hand in hand with someone you didn't know you would see today. 

“Hey Ms. Expert.” 

That made you genuinely smile. “Didn’t think I'd see you here again. Helping out the missus?” He smiles at you and slowly licks his lips, eyes drifting up and down your body. His eyes found yours and he focused all of his attention on you. “Yeah, I said I was gonna take care of her, and imma do just that.” De’arra gushes and latches onto his arm, but he doesn't budge; he keeps his eyes on you, smirking at you, adding the cherry on top. ‘Was he saying that to me?’ You briefly remember the last time you two spoke in person, and it seems like he was going to make good on his words. 

“Oh good, you're here, you can put your stuff in the faculty room. That ok Y/N?” Gio says walking in from the factory downstairs. “Yeah that’s fine. I need to talk with Roman anyways,” You reply, and Gio gives you a simple head nod. “What do you need to talk to him for?” You look at De’arra and she is already sizing you up. You laughed to yourself. There’s no way she’s really trying to pull these strings right now. “About La Mesa Alta’s annual ball.” You kept it short and sweet. Of course, that's not what you guys were actually going to talk about, but you needed to get her off your back. “Well my family is going to be added to La Mesa Alta too, so I should be a part of this conversation,” De’arra demands. “The only thing you should be a part of is your training session. Give me a second i'll be right there,” You fired back, shutting down her request. He trails behind you, but doesnt get far, due to De’arra’s small hand latching onto his wrist.

“You guys can just talk out here-”

“Hell no.” You were getting sick of this back and forth already. “Well why the hell not?” 

“Because it’s a private conversation about mafia business.” You could feel that she was already catching an attitude. “Well what type of mafia business involves you being in a room with him alone?” ‘This bitch..’ You turned around for the final time, and your face couldn’t hide the fact that you were fed the hell up. “The type of mafia business that doesn't involve you. Come on Roman.” He follows you into the room and closes the door. 

You wipe your hands across your face and catch him looking at you with a sly smirk. “Don’t look at me like that.” He walks closer to you and takes his hand in yours and holds it above your head, twirling you to face away from him. He wraps his arms around your waist from behind. You close your eyes and melt into his touch. You forgot how much you liked his touch. “That was so sexy.” His breath gave you tingles as he talked into the crook of your neck. “You missed me baby?” While he was luring you with his voice, his hands sneakily dipped into the waistband of your sweats. You turned your head to look at him and gently grab his chin. Your eyes shift from his eyes to his lips, and you lean in to kiss him, but his fingers teasing your folds stop you. “I didn't hear an answer.” He was already making you melt, and you were loving every single second of it. “Y-yes baby I missed you.” He was teasing you, getting close to your lips and then pulling away while rubbing at your sensitive clit. You couldn't stand it. You pull his chin closer to you, trying your hardest to kiss him, but he keeps pulling away still.

“Please baby, kiss me.” You wanted to feel his lips on yours so badly. Without warning his right hand clasps around your neck and finally attaches his lips to yours. His left hand was hard at work, pinching and applying pressure to your clit, while both of your tongues are fighting for dominance. You grind your hips against his hand, giving up on dominance for the time being and letting him take over. He takes his hands off of your neck to tug your tube top down to your waist, freeing your breasts. You moan into his mouth, feeling his warm hands grab at your breasts and the pressure building up between your legs. “Fuck baby that feels so goo-”

BANG BANG BANG

“De’arra decided she doesn't want to do her training session. She’s going to file a complaint to La Mesa Alta to have your shop shut down.”

‘Are you fucking serious?’

🏷️tags :) @reignsboy19 @2-muchsauce @theninthwonder @harmshake @alichesmi @thesamoanqueen @alyyaanna @empressdede @badbitchcentralinc @christinabae @fame-ass-ers @southerngirl41 @cyberdejos2

[the-s1lly-corner]

i think it would be so cute if you wrote headcannons abt silly little things johnathan ohnn would do around alchemax when him and reader are coworkers. imagine their desks next to each other 🥲

Random hcs for Jonathan Ohnn and his coworker!

Didnt know if you wanted this romantic or platonic so I'm writing this as

Both?? If that makes sense?? Like majority is neutral with a more romantic segment at the end?? Help

Side note I love this gif

Anyways not proof read we die like uncle Aaron

Obligatory you guys leave things on each others desks; notes, snacks, a drink, ect ect ect

You both also have your own set of inside jokes, and probably gossip about y'alls other coworkers

Probably just a me thing because I love dynamics like this but yall are just. Constantly bubbly around each other, like

Yall can glance at each other and make a slightly goofy expression and the other is trying to hold it together

I just wanna see Jonathan happy, man :( his whole Jonathan to spot transition kinda actually makes me sad like bro was just doing his job

Anyway

I feel like Jonathan can get fairly wrapped up in his work; forgets to take breaks.. he really appreciates when you come over and leave a bottle of water on the edge of his desk, makes him feel cared for

Side tangent but I personally hc that even before becoming Spot he never really had many friends, much less ones that look out for his wellbeing like that. Doesn't help that he's kinda

Awkward and closed off but hes not

Evil or mean spirited (yet/hj)

"Jon you gotta start standing up straight" "UHHHGGHH *fine* dad/mom!!🙄/j" and similar interactions

Whenever you two are assigned hands on work/experiment shit yall are both just. Bouncing off each other the entire time if that makes sense

Like yall are a power duo; you guys get the work done in no time and actually?? Have fun?? Work goes by fast when you're doing it with someone you enjoy being around

Hopping back in the silly stuff he would NOT stand up for himself if someone was taking his lunch; and if he does he makes like. A piss poor attempt at standing up for himself sooo if you're on the fierce side (or just have a backbone) he would really appreciate it

"Excuse me he asked for NO pickles!"/j

Now onto the romance yahoo

Tbh I dont know if alchemax would be the type of company to outright ban coworkers from having relationships with one another, I can kinda see it swinging either way

But I've never been good at writing hcs for characters needing to slink around so let's say it allows that stuff

Anyways

Jonathan is an awkward sap, like

Imagine glancing over at his computer and seeing him looking up pickup lines (bad corny ones)

He uses them 5 minutes later on you

Stuff like that

Also while I dont normally like characters that dip into the clingy/jealous category Jonathan/spot is an exception simply because I legitimately cant see him not being at least a little insecure

But the good news about being a scientist is that hes good at problem solving; he communicates!!

You guys are both so

Obvious

At least he is; one good compliment and hes red in the face

Outright flirt with him and hes basically glowing red

Back to the bad pick up lines he will be over the moon if you say one back

Building off the "you guys leave things on each others desks" thing he leaves like. Flowers and candies he knows you like on the desk

A moment of silence for your desk when your birthday or valentines day happens 😔

Imagine someone hits on you and he just

Wanders over, puts a hand on your shoulder and just

"Theyre taken"

But like, in a cringey ☝️🤓 way

😭😭

[gettinshiggywithit]

!Bakugou falling asleep with his s/o on video call!

Scenario:-what if Reader and Bakugou fell asleep on a call/video chat?

Pairing:- bakugou x gn!reader

Genre:-fluff/comfort

Type:- oneshot

A/N:-shout out to @cloudy-zephyr for bein my muse on this one too!couldnt do it without you babes😘

Okie so it started at like 8pm

He wanted to finish ‘cos he had to go to bed by 9 and well he didnt wanna stay up too late

Dont get me wrong the boi loves ya but he NEEDS his eight hours😭

So eight pm rolls around and you join ur special zoom link🥰

AND HES LATE

(like GURL WHY IS U LATEE FOR A VIDEO CALL)

but then while ur fuming cos NOW U ONLY HAVE 55MINS AND NOT 60

He comes into the chat and guess what homeboy’s wearin😭

This man is wearing a full three piece tux and is at his kitchen table(the lighting is perfect there)

And ur just like “BITCH WHERE HAVE YOU- oh wow well hello there~”

And he’s just 😏

And nowww u feel insecure and a lil embarrassed cos this bitch is in a tux and you’re in bed in your pjs with messy hair

Oh also as if on cue ur led lights just turn to red and it looks like u AND ur room are blushing

You ask him why he’s wearin a tux and he just says “gotta look presentable for my partner dont i😏”

And ur like “SIRRR you look amazing REGARDLESS”

But ofc u cant sayyy that so u just say “dam right😤”

You laugh and then move on

You talk about the most random shit and also talk abt some pieces of shit😅(i.e. people you both dont like~)

Eventually it becomes 8.55 and he seems a lil tired

So you ask him if yall should sign off

But HE say No~

You are FLABBERGASTED

but you dont complain

You go on for another 1.5 hrs and then he keeps his head on his arms and closes his eyes

He still replies durin ur convo

But hes slurring his words

And soon enough hes out like a light

And keep in mind this man is in a FULL FUCKIN TUX asleep on the kitches table~

For you🧡

So you keep ur computer on ur second pillow and cover up the laptop a little with your blanket too

And then you fall asleep while admiring ur boyfriend and his adorable features

Be starts to snore so u mute him and then before you forget you take plenty of screenshots

He wakes up the next day at 6 to find that hes still on call,hes still in his tux and-

He was starting to get annoyed with himself (he thought hed fallen asleep thinkin abt u after the call) but then he sees that ur still there and smiles

Maybe it was worth it after all~

Oh btw he DEFINITELY took screenshots of you too

Made it into a collage and gave it to u on ur birthday is what he did~😭

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please

Taglist open for anyone interested!

[ot3]

omg thank you for being the first normal person I've seen so far about AI who's also an artist T-T like obviously all the stealing is horrible and it's good it's talked about but almost everyone really is acting like the idea of computers being capable of creating images killed their firstborn child

(also I don't mean it as one of the weird AI art bros but as an artist myself I'm just glad that there are other artist with open mind to the concept)

no right like its insane to me to see how many other people who seem reasonable and level headed are falling for the kneejerk response to say ai Isn't Art Can't Be Art ! It's throwing out the baby with the bathwater to an almost incomprehensible degree.

Unfortunately the fact of the matter is that we live in an era where essentially all new technology's first and prime purpose will be for ghoulish, capitalistic, anti-human ends. But to reject any other uses for the technology doesn't do anything other than make you look like an anti-tech weirdo. This is genuinely insanely impressive and revolutionary tech! There are a TON of legitimate artistic uses for AI image generation.

It also seems weird that everyone is delving into this false binary of 'dont use AI, learn to draw' as if there is any conceivable reason for these things to be mutually exclusive? Like, before all of the AI discourse really popped off i was doing some experimenting with using AI in my process.

the texturing used in this drawing was made by VQGAN + Clip (different type of image generation than the stable diffusion model that is producing most of the AI art that's up for debate right now) running through google colab. I made a bunch of these weird, ethereal images that would have been almost impossible for me to produce under my own power - it would have taken a titanic amount of time, effort, and design to produce any of these through illustrative or photo editing techniques.

here's a sampling of some of the textures i made. Now I think it would be a real struggle to try and claim that these images made are plagiarisms. However, I stopped messing with the google colab generation for one key reason: i didnt know enough about the image databases being used to train these models. That's the real stumbling block

the internet is CHOCK FULL of images that are free to use commercially and repurposes, there's stuff like wikimedia commons, the smithsonian open access, unsplash and pexels which have free stock photos, etc. I honestly think a nonzero amount of artists would consent to having some of their work used in image generation databases if they were promised noncommercial use of the resulting images, also. But the problem is the people training these AI don't give a shit about any of that. It's just the complete entitlement to other people's work and neglect for creative boundaries that makes AI generation bad.

The fact that people are attempting to replicate the art of living, working artists, or people like kentaro miura who by all accounts were so dedicated to the craft that they worked themselves to death sickens me. And the fact that the companies responsible for this are using that as an active selling point for their product is even worse. It's a pretty miserable time to be an artist, and this is just the icing on the cake.

But I don't want silicon valley greed and bizarre, impotent jealousy from redditors who want custom waifu jpgs to mean that nobody who could really benefit from AI image generation gets to use it.

like, my dad for example. he's been a creative person his whole life but it never really went anywhere. He drew a lot as a kid and then went and got a degree in filmmaking. My parents were living in LA when I was born, with my dad managing a filming/sound studio and the two of them trying to break into writing screenplays. This did not happen because they had three kids, and for the past decade and then some my dad had been doing database programming on contract for the CDC. Now, in his mid 50s, he's finally got a permanent and secure position and, rather than spending all his free time raising children or getting PMP certified to try and angle for a string of promotions, he can start having hobbies again. there's a comic he's been wanting to draw for as long as I can remember.

only, one big problem - in 2021 he had surgery on his cataracts and never healed properly. He's got severely impaired vision and looking at stuff too hard for to long causes him a ton of eye strain and pain. He has to look at a lot of screens for his job so by the time he's off work for the day he's pretty much too fatigued to do all the intense visual stuff it'd take to make a comic.

I wanted to tell him AI image generation could help him make the kind of stuff he always dreamed about making as a kid but instead I had to tell him that as it stands, the predatory nature of AI modeling means it's insanely hard to use it without ripping off vulnerable creatives. Instead we chatted a bit about combining 3d assets, digitally edited photos, or photobashing/digital kitbashing methods to try and make a pipeline he could do without drawing, but the time commitment to learn these methods is probably just not feasible unless his eyes make a pretty unprecedented recovery in future years.

Like, that's the worst thing about all of this. The idea that AI makes the production of certain kinds of art more accessible to people with disabilities isn't just a 'gotcha' being used by the pro-AI people, it's also true. I would love for my dad to be able to make his comic. I myself also have a huge string of health issues and sometimes the main thing stopping me from drawing is that it hurts to do so. Anything in my process that could reduce the strain drawing puts on my body is an accessibility concern in some ways. Eventually degrading so much that I can't draw at all is one of my biggest fears.

But that doesn't counter all of the negatives! It just doesnt! Which fucking sucks man it just sucks so fucking bad that we have this cool incredible thing and we can't use it without being complicit in some stuff i am fully ideologically against! As things stand I really cant imagine that 'ethical' AI image generation will ever exist, so unfortunately it will have to be in the hands of the people using it to decide for themselves if they are using it in a way that is predatory or harmful, or as a legitimate tool to make meaningful works of art.

[ranidspace]

im not including chevrons/angle brackets, <> because i dont think anyone calls them chevrons, and a lot of people also call them "less than or greater than" symbols.

also we should totally call them chevrons. You there, Tumblr user. you now have to call "<>" left chevron and right chevron respectively. do this for me. anyway answer the poll.

i guess they could also be called "Single Guillemets" but i feel like thats the name of a specific type of chevron and not the actual symbol name.

Actually now that im thinking about it like. what the hell is a chevron supposed to be used for. like. yeah. HTML. didnt exist before computers. so i guess they would be Guillemets? but in english, what were they used for. im googling that now.

In textual criticism, and hence in many editions of pre-modern works, chevrons denote sections of the text which are illegible or otherwise lost; the editor will often insert their own reconstruction where possible within them.

oh shit ok. huh. apparently also can be used as a way to say just spellings of things. like phonetically you would put it in /slashes/. or actually /slæʃɪz/ or <slashes>. oh shit does slashes have it's own name when it's used like this?

Seems to just be called "slashes" but also i found out |these are called pipes|. cool. anyway so these <> are very specifically "greater than or less than" symbols in unicode. guillemets and chevrons/angle brackets have their own symbols, but you could technically use this for both. idk. anyway, holy shit i got sidetracked. ignore all of this vote in the poll

[redrydersrequiem]

Reunited chapter 7

Updated 5/27/23

Some how I’m getting this story going. Again I’m in training so i don’t post a lot since i write this on paper then transfer it to my computer. I also as of may 27th decide to repost this chapter cause i wanted to add more to it cause i felt it would flow better. Once again thank you to everyone who even reads this, im a baby fanfic writer this is all for my own entertainment and to get these stories out of my head. Love you all happy summer.

Previous chapter. Next chapter

Ardmore pov

What?!”

“Yes ma’am the team wen sent out reported that the blue tea was attacked while surveying one of the first groupings of islands

“Any casualties?”

“No human casualties but unconfirmed when it comes to the recoms. The soldiers saw the colonel injured and the others captured, but couldnt say if they saw any of them die

“Fuck!”Ardmore exclaims throwing her coffee cup at the wall in her rage. She takes a couple deep breaths

“Fine well have to do this differently”

“What do you mean ma’am”

“That well locate sully ourselves”

“What about the blue team?”

“For now we continue our other missions, until we have the confirmed doa the blue team is simply out checking surroundings of pandora

“But what about?”

“WHAT about what soldier?”Ardmore states pointedly to the younger officer

“Nothing ma’am I’ll relay your commands”

“Good and send the commander of the delta team to my office”

Your pov

The team is hog tied and surrounded until we no longer see any of the rdas ships. Even though the ocean's calm helped us they still didn’t completely trust us. Miles had miraculously recovered from his “ fatal” wound and was now conversing slowly with Lyle not letting me or Spider out of his line of sight.A horn is blown once again, everyone turning towards the water as we see Jake, Tonowari and other warriors fly towards us on what looks like some type of giant flying fish. Jake quickly hops off and bounds towards us with a tentative smile on his face.

“Well that went well”

I just laugh at him as he and the others un-tie us all.

What now jake?” I ask he just pats my shoulder and gestures for all of us to follow him as he walks towards the other end of the shore line. A couple boats lie there waiting to whisk us away to our new life’s.

Jake tells us all to climb in as he goes back into the water swimming up to the front of the boats

“What are you doing”

“Well we gotta get you guys there Somehow so well use the ilus”

“Ilus?” I ask to go to the front of the boat to see the creature. It reminded me of a dolphin back on earth.

“Yeah these are some of the main creatures around here well show you later. Let's get you all settled first.”

Jake yips slightly and he and two other ilu riders pull ur boats forward into the sea. It takes some time to get to the metekiyanas clan home, me and spider and the others as much as they try to hide it, are entranced by the scenery around us. The beautiful blue water and glowing corals, plants and fish we can see through it. The closer we get the more people we see, some doing what looked like chores while others simply basked in the sun making trinkets and talking, watching the younger ones play gleefully in the water. It all is enough to bring a smile to my face

Jakes pov

“Ok here we are i say jumping off my ilu, as the team departs and are now standing on the shore awkwardly, just watching the village around them

“This way” quartich leads behind me, y/n and spider next to him.

“We’ve been able to get some new muris made in prep for your arrival. I say approaching the new grouping of four pods. I didn’t think you all would want to be far from another so i made the suggestion of making all your homes somewhat together.”

“Thank you Jake, that's very thoughtful, can i ask though why there’s four pods?

“Well y/n its cause excuse there's a shit ton of you.’ I laugh looking over my shoulder at the group of 13 people

“We didnt want you all to be cramped so there’s two pods for the guys to share, one for the ladies and who ever you want to share with if you even want to and this finally one over here is for you y/n.”

“What? He says looking down at y/n with a quizcal look

Yeah, think of this as my olive branch to you colonel. I wanted you guys to have a home for you, y/n and spider.” I look the colonel in the eyes as he comes to terms with what i've done.

“Every man needs a family and every family needs a home. So use this and make a home here colonel. A fresh start.

Quartich looks to me than back to y/n’s smiling face and back, his ears and tail twitching before breathing out a large exhale

“Fine sully thank you.” Quartich states clapping me on the shoulder as they move to go check out their new homes, I simply smile knowing that's a Huge step for Quartich to even say thank you.

Your pov

The homes are woven but sturdy, different posts and tapestries make rooms and spaces. In the middle there’s a fire pit for cooking and to keep the home warm. Mats and spots for hammocks are all over so I'm sure everyone would be comfortable.

Jakes voice make me turn as i hear him ask us what we thought

It’s beautiful "I say looking around Miles and I’s new home. For now only two rooms are made, one for miles and i and one for spider should he want it other than that its very open and inviting.

“Im glad yall like it i actually have some other stuff for you guys give me a sec. Jake runs off leaving all of us standing here

Miles pov

Everyone checked out the homes all claiming their spots before meeting in y/n and I’s home. Our home, I think to myself. I finally have a home with y/n. Her hand on my shoulder turns my head. I see her beautiful smiling face. I just pull her into my arms embracing her as i address everyone.

“Well I hope you all are ready. Learn what they teach us, earn your spot but stand your ground people, were soldiers and while this may seem all fine and dandy don't forget the rda is still here and will have to be dealt with”

“Yes sir”

“Till then yall go unpack and do whatever you want just dont cause any trouble”

“Yes sir” they all reply again A knock sounds turning all our heads to see sully had returned

“What’s up sully?”

“I got you all Some clothes, you’ll probably need something cooler but i didn’t expect you all to go full native so i had the weavers make some more covering items than usual.” Jake hands the giant bag over Lyle taking it and bringing it over everyone now rifling through it

“Also y/n when you're ready tiri wants to say hi and spider.” The boy perks up at the call of his name. “ the kids are all down by the beach”. The boy jumps up excitement on his face as he heads towards the door

“And where are you going kid” i ask the teen

“Oh come on dad, mom can i go?” he asks y/n next to me. She just smiles and tells him to go on and have fun but to not stay in the sun all day without some sunscreen

The scenes is so familial it shocks me, my family slowly falling into place, something i had only ever dreamed of never really thinking i would get it till i meet, y/n

Your pov

Come on love, let's get unpacked. I want to check out the island. I call out to miles seeing he's still watching spiders fleeing form. Everyone else had dispersed all back to their own lodgings. The bag of clothes Jake had left is smaller now that everyone’s taken their pick so I go over and see what's left. Miles for now chooses to just strip out of his shirt leaving him in his cut off pants, he says he'll be fine with the board shorts and stuff they brought with them before i see him wearing a Loincloth no matter how much i try to persuade him. I chose some tops out of the bag and a few skirts. I mean I've worn bikinis before so this shouldn’t be that different. I put everything but a nice braided brown top. It looks like a normal bikini top from earth but it's made of woven and braided strands of brown string with beads the color of gold in some places. It was beautiful and paired well with some brown shorts i pulled out of my stuff

We made our way out to the front to meet everyone, most dressed similarly to us except for Lyle who to our utter horror chose to wear one of the traditional clothes and was now demonstrating how breezy they were. Miles hand come to cover my eyes before yelling out at the man

“ god dammit lyle you got to ease us into having to see your blueberry ass. Lord.” Miles calls out his face scrunched in disgust from the display lyles putting on

“Just wait, Colonel, you’ll all be wearing one of these soon.”

I just laugh taking miles hands off my eyes and throwing a towel to lyle as we all make our way to the water. We all decided to speed the rest of the day recuperating from our dramatic capturing and frolic in the sands and waters around us. Some of the villagers stop to stare at us and whisper amongst themselves. Some greet us with smiles and some just simply stare. I notice some male warriors judging by their tattoos, going slack jaw at the sight of warren and z, making the boys around them snicker, but the sight of the water finally being a few steps ahead steps them all.

Their eyes turning big and all semblance of decorum is lost as they run into the water like the giant children they are now. Splashing at eachother or trying to wrestle the other in the water. Some simply float around enjoying the water. It’s truly a sight to see, formier hardened marines now overgrown blue 20 year old kids. But hey they, we all deserve this right?

The call of “sa’nu” breaks my derailing train of thought. Turning I saw a spider running towards where miles and I were standing, seven kids behind him. Four of them were the same blue as we were so they clearly must be Jake and Neytiri's kids while the other ones were a soft turquoise color and must be from the ocean clan.

“Mom i want to officially introduce you he says grabing my hand and dragging me over to the children, miles not far behind.(always so protective)

“These are Jake's kids? Spider says gesturing to the four dark blue kids in front of me

The tallest comes up and welcomes me with “I see you. I return the gesture with a smile on my face looking over the boy. He looked more like neytiri than jake in my opinion. But i see him flicking his eyes between me and miles behind me i step alittle closer trying to appear as not threatening as possible since all of our first meetings didn’t go very well, not that I remember much of it

“It’s a honor to meet you all again i do appologize for myself, miles and everyone else for how our first meeting went, we where all still trying to find our way. “

He looks taken aback turning to converse silently with the rest of his siblings,Before smiling back at me again

“We have agreed to forgive you. Eywa wouldn’t want us to dwell that moment instead why don't we start over. Hello my name is neteyam im the oldest of jake and neytiri sully's children.”

“And most boring” i hear the younger boy mumble out from under his breath earning a smack from the older girl and a glare from neteyam.

He's quick to slap a cheeky smile back on his face, stepping up and holding out his hand to shake. The very image of a certain someone I know.

“Im lo’ak i'm the coolest one here.”

“And very humble I see.”/“No doubt who’s child he is.” miles says softly. I just turn and smile/glare at him. He just chuckles in response. Lo’ak clears his throat grabbing my attention once more

“I want to say thank you for taking care of Spider, he may not actually be our brother by blood but he is by choice so thanks.

“No thank you for considering him family, it warms my heart to know he didn’t grow up alone”

“Of course Spider is family.” The youngest girl says jumping up and down before running to hug Spider . He smiles and hugs her back even though she's almost taller than him.

“What’s your name sweetie? I ask the adorable young girl

“Im tuk”

“Well it's nice to meet you tuk”

“You too aunty.”

“The cuteness is too much and I just have to squeeze you.” the girl smiles her cute giggles filling the air, everyone else looking on with smiles on their faces.

Spider had moved from my side now going over to the last sully child she was still withdrawn from the group just silently watching, almost skittishly with how she held her tail infront of her. Spider simple overs her a smile before grabbing her hand and bringing her over towards me

“Mom dad this is kiri,”

“Oh the famous kiri huh”

“Dad”

“Hahaha i must say i don't think spider has stopped telling us about you i say to the young girl further embarrassing my son as he stares wide eyed at me a blush rising on his face that makes me chuckle more”

“Mom!”

“Im sorry my love, hello kiri its wonderful to meet you i must say you are the image of your mother.

“I can tell she is taken aback at my comment but blush’s lightly and smiles a thank you leaving her lips”

“She spoke of you in her logs”

“She did aww see i knew she always liked me no matter how hard she tried to deny it.”

“Yes she said you where a very kind person.”

“Well im honored grace thought highly enough to say that and i would like to give you my condolences on her passing. Just know the person that hurt her is gone and will not be coming back. “

Kiri chokes back a sob but nods her brothers all going to hug her lightly,

(Authors note in this story quartich isnt the one who shot grace instead it will be the jerk soldier form the first chapter thats why the reader says he wont ever come back.)

A throat clearing breaks the tender moment on of the other children a boy with his hair in a bun coming forward

“Mrs y/n these are chief tonowari and Ronald children aonung and tsireya, and their friend roxto they have been teaching us the way of water and have volunteered to help spider as well.” I see you i gesture to the trio, they reciprocated the girl smiling brightly up at me.

“Welcome to our village i hope you all find a home with us.”

“I hope so to thank you dear.”

“Your clan is big are you all warriors?” Roxto asks from behind tsireya

“Yes we are but dont worry no one will hurt anyone, at least not on purpose or with out cause. However I wouldn’t recommend getting in the middle of them when they’re all rough housing like that i say turning to see everyone still mucking about in the waters.”

Everyone simply chuckles and air coming around us as the atmosphere seeps into our bones leaving a smile on my face for the days to come.

Your pov

After meeting the kids we all talk for a bit before i usher them all off to go be kids. The sun setting the Team long since exhausted from splashing around. Now all just rest on the sand, some fruit juices and water the villagers gave us being passed around.

I'm currently curled in miles lap as he leans against a tree, the shade covering our blue skin from the blazing sun, us both just staring out into the horizon. Spider's laugh draws my attention as I see him being splashed at by lo’ak, the both of them pushing each other pulling tails the works as kiri and the rest look on with amusement. Tuk eventually flinging herself on the pile spider catching her both falling into the water. I see kiri go and help spider up, both sneaking glances as they try not to make it so obvious they’re both staring at the other, hearts in their eyes. Pictures of their possible future flashes in my mind, bringing a sad smile to my face. Miles noticed my deflating mood and asks whats wrong

“I wish Spider could have an avatar.”

“Me to darlin! He would fit in more.”

“So you’ve noticed it too?”

“I'm not blind dove. I can tell he likes that Sully girl.”

“Exactly wouldn’t they be cute together…. I mean can’t you picture it, his dark slightly curly hair combed back with some braids in it. A smile stretching across a maskless face as he explores and is finally able to be a part of this world, with no restrictions. I want that for him miles. If anyone deserves it, it's him.”

“I agree ,Well look into it darlin i promise”

A throat clearing turns our heads to see Jake and neytiri come up behind us.

“Corporal miles says nodding at jake”

“Colonel, y/n “

They both make themselves comfortable in the shaded sand beside us”

“What’s up jake?”

Nothing much, just checking in. Wanted to see how your first day is treating you.”

“We’re good, the big blue children are all just goofing off.” I say loud enough so the others can hear me all turning their heads and making faces at me, some adding a hand gesture or to in the mix. Jake just laughs at our antics miles joining him.

“Yeah I saw that and I thought I had a lot of kids you're going to have your hands full dove.

“It’s fine their ok most of the time.i say still laughing at the faces they where all making.

“Hey i wanted to let you know Tonowari wants to start your training as soon as possible, he wants to make sure you all will be productive members of this clan since they took us all in.

“Good ,well be ready, we all need to get refocused anyway.” Miles says grumpily behind me

“Speak for yourself, Colonel, a personal day in the sun every now and then won't kill you.”

“Well when the RDAs not hunting us anymore then i'll relax that work for you dove," he says cheekily pinching my side. I just shake my head at him narrowing my eyes to let him know hell pay for that later

“Actually Jake,” I say, turning back to my friend. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Whatcha got?”

“You and the others still research everything about the Navi and your avatars right.?”

“Yeah?”

“Well I want to know if it would be possible to make Spider and avatar body.”

Jakes spine straightens, as he looks quickly to the side at neytiri. The duo having a brief silent conversation

“What’s wrong for you to react like that?”

“No no Nothings wrong dove it's actually perfect its how do i say this.”

“Out with it sully.” Miles says behind me agitated at his slow response.

“He already has one.”

“WHAT!” miles and I reply at the same time.

“Yeah we were going to surprise him on his next birthday, but then you all returned and took Spider with you and my family had to relocate. It's just been a lot these last couple of months. But norm and the others have been working on it for the past five years”

My happiness is overwhelming. I can’t help but fly from miles lap to wrap an arm round both the sullys necks hugging them close to. Me as I whisper thanks.. my brain moves a thousand miles a minute as i begin to pace thinning of all the things my baby will be able to do, what stuff he'll need, how will he..

“Darlin relax.” Miles says catching my hand to bring me back down into his lap

“Sorry it’s just this is amazing I can’t wait to tell him.”

“Before you tell him y/n, i want you to know what all this would entail.” Tiri tells me cautiously,

“What do you mean.?”

“For spider to become one with his avatar form, he would need to pass through the eyes of eywa, where she will judge his soul and deem him worth to return.”

“That doesn’t sound bad”

“No, not at all spiders young, he has a strong heart and mind, he should have no issues but we always want to be on the side of caution sometimes especially when it comes to our kids. So i just want to tell you that there could be a possibility that spider could not survive the transfer

“Wait, are you telling us Spider could possibly die doing this transfer thingy Sully”. Miles asks jake sternly

“Yes there’s always the possibility that eywa has different plans for him.. neytiri says solemnly

“But as I said spider is young and strong with a good spirit,he has so many reasons to live, to stay with all of us, I wouldn’t even suggest the soul transfer if i didn't think spider would make it. I just wanted you to be aware that as his parents there’s always a risk.”

“There's a risk to him every day. He could run out of oxygen or something could happen to his mask. Hell, him just swimming around with the kids he could get hurt. I want the best for my son. That’s it “

“I understand y/n, here i'll contact norm and have him send you some files, and then you can decide if you want to tell spider ok?”

“I would appreciate that thanks.”

“Of course y/n i know a lot of stuff happened between all of us during the end there and i don't really know if you remember but i we”he says looking at neytiri and back. '' promised you we would take care of Spider, and i like to think we did an ok job, but eywa brought you all back for a reason and i couldn't be happier that she did.”

“Thank you, jake. Thank you tiri. You’ll never understand how much this means to me.”

“To us” miles says behind me bringing a soft smile to my face as I look up at the man I love trying to mend bridges.

“Your welcome colonel your welcome. Just let us know what you decide.”

“We will”

Just as the words leave my mouth a horn sounds. All of the blue team are up on their feet defensive stances taken as we look around for whatever danger was being signaled

“Woah guys chill. Its not trouble its the horn to let us know the food is ready and the party can start.”

“Party?”

“Yeah tonowari and elders came together to make a celebration party to welcome all of you to the metekiyana.

“Awww,

“Yeah, here yall gather up and we'll get the kids.”

Everyone gets together as we walk over to a large sand bank. The whole village is there, reminding me of a giant beach bbq. Family’s and friends sitting together laughing and eating. Babies playing at their parents feet. Elderly all sitting together reminiscing. It’s all so warm, welcoming. Tonowari invited us all to create a group with his and Jake's families. We all got comfortable formally introducing ourselves to the clan leader, tonowari asking us some questions, wanting to know what roles we played with the sky people and how we came to find ourselves in our current situation. He and the people all around. us listen on with rapt attention. All curious about the group of thirteen that now belong with their clan. As the night went on and some sort of liquor is passed around, everyone softened up the more they drank, enjoying the beginnings of their new life path.

I was currently walking back to our new home. Miles infront of me with a drunk spider hanging over his shoulder like a sack of squirming potatoes. 15 minutes ago i had found him Lo’ak, aonung even neteyam and some other younger village teens all slightly drunk in their own little clearing. They somehow got a hold of the liquor going around and were all slightly tipsy. However Spider was much smaller than all of them so what got them tipsy got him sloshed out drunk. Parents all shake their heads and gather their inebriated children before heading home. I pass my boys opening the flap of pur mauri and lighting the lamps before miles can set Spider down. I set up a spot for spider so he's comfortable where I can watch him from my sleeping spot. Worried the boy could vomit or accidentally take off his mask in his current state. I feel miles cuddle up behind me. One of his arms thrown over my stomach as he breathed into my neck, both of us just enjoying the calming sound of the waves in the distance, watching our drunk snoring son.

“I want to tell him.” I say into the dark

“Then let's tell him darlin”. Miles replies His arms squeezing me even closer as I just press kisses to the skin I can find. Sleep slowly finding me.

The next. Morning came quickly though we all had an excuse to stay and sleep but year living the military life disagreed. Most everyone was up early going through their routines before deciding to go and help gather some stuff for breakfast. I stayed behind to wait for spider to wake up. Said boy now wrapped like a burrito in his blankets after he kept moving around all night in his drunken dreams. I had no other choice. A ding sounds from my halo pad i see its a message from norm

Hey y/n good morning, Jake said he told you about Spider Avatar and that you wanted to see Spiders Avatar so I sent you a video and some of the data on him, but I also sent some other photos of spider I thought you should have. Let me know what you guys decide.

I type out a thanks before clicking the first file open. The image of a tiny toddler spider fills the screen. His curls are everywhere as he has the widest smile on his face. Both hands grasping on to norms as he looks like he's mid step. The next picture he's a bit older, maybe around three or four. He's asleep drooling on Max's shirt as he continues to look into a microscope just holding the boy on his lap. The photos continue on like that spider at different states. The older he gets the less the photos look like they are taken in a lab and the more of them there are of Spider with the sully kids all growing up together. One is even of neytiri holding spider both smiling at the camera.

Every picture brings a bigger smile on my face until i get to the last file. It’s a video.

As soon as the screen moves I can hear the beeping and pulsing of different machines. The lense hadn’t focused yet so all i see is a screen of glowing blue. Come on camera focus. Norms voice says slightly. The screen finally focuses and the feet of an avatar floating in liquid appear. The camera moves upward showing the body of a young but well built and athletic looking Navi, before coming up to his face. A gasp leaves my mouth as I see my baby. There's no doubt that it's Spider, just blue. From the soft black slightly curls framing his face while the rest is pulled back in a slight bun. The slope of his forehead down to the bushy eyebrows, and even his jawline, all of it is wholly spider. What was interesting to him was the marking covering his face that looked similar to mine and miles. Almost like eywa knew we would be reunited and wanted us to be a full family

“Who’s that?”

Spiders voice comes from behind me, scaring me as I drop the halo pad to the ground. The boy has the audacity to laugh at my scarred reaction

“Sorry mama”

“It’s ok baby,” huffing out a breath to recompose myself. “ How do you feel?.”

“I'm fine mama. My head hurts a little bit and i hungry but mostly I want to know why I'm wrapped like a burrito.?”

“Well your mischievous little ass got burritoed since he wouldn’t cooperate last night.”

“Sorry” I just laugh at the boy helping untie him from the blankets before handing him a pain pill and some water. He takes it quickly putting his mask back on before fixing me with a smile.

“So who was that on you tablet?”

“That is a surprise and a conversation we have to have later.”

“What’s going on mama?”

“Nothing baby it will be good news, so for now why dont you go get cleaned up your pa and the others should be back soon and we can all have breakfast.”

“Ok ma whatever you say.”

Ten minutes later Miles comes back, some fish ready to be cooked and eaten. We all eat pur fill laughter filling the air as miles makes fun of spiders drunken state the night before. The boy is currently trying to retaliate but being held at arm's length by his fathers giant hand planted on his face. I just laugh at the happy scene. The boys are getting along so well. Like that invisible barrier they had before has slowly disappeared.

After breakfast we all go about our day. Spider goes to play/train with the other children, while Miles goes to train with jake. I decided I wanted to look around the village some more before going to train, meeting up with neytiri and having a pleasant afternoon with her. Helping with chores and just talking, the day is long filled with laughter and learning. I watche as the rest of team works hard. Either learning the ways of water or helping villagers with chores. All trying their best to make this place recognize them just like we did when we started the in the RDA but this time, there was no ranks, only hard work that would get you anywhere.

I had spoken to jake to let him know we decided we wanted to tell spider, about his avatar and give him the choice if he wanted to go that route, but i wanted jake and neytiri and them to be a part of it to, they’ve been there for the past 16 years and i would not alienate them simply cause me and miles returned. So with a dinner planned i go to work on how to tell my son his whole life could change…… again.

Spiders pov

Today was fun. I learned the breathing techniques with the others, even though my mask I found works underwater so I don’t really need what I was taught but hey I'm always up for learning something new. After swimming around for a bit we took a break to go play with the ilus. The ocean was truly so cool, kiri helped me explore with her showing me all the places she's found so far, i don't even question how good she is at swimming and holding her breath already i just put it down as part of her charm, like always

The day goes on when mom comes and grabs me telling me and the others to all go get cleaned up for dinner. After yet another bath and mom coming through my curls. I changed into some new clothes, dad making a comment that i was wearing a thong again( spider doesn’t know what a thong is) and that just looking at me made him feel cold.

I simply laugh and tell him he “better get used to it old man before long you’ll be wearing the same thing” uncle Lyle has been wearing them off and on so has some of the other guys all trying out the local fashion. Aunt Z, aunt warren and mom simply switch bewtten their tops and the ones jake dropped off. But only mom has worn any of the skirts, like she has on now.

We walk over to the sully mauri, as soon as we get inside tuk jumps up, welcoming us all before dragging me over to where her and Kiri where breading some new necklaces. Lo’ak and neteya,m are talking about spear techniques behind us, roping me into their conversation. But I can’t help but look around instead. Seeing all the people i love and care for all a=under one roof, is like a dream from my childhood i never thought would happen come true.

Your pov

‘The meal is nice, fish and different types of meat grilled and passed out. Some sort of grain that reminds me of rice and some fruits and vegetables float around as well, its not till I see everyone’s had at least one helping that i clear my throat jake picking up on my signal.

“Ok, quiet down. Kids there's a reason y/n quartich and spider have come over to eat with us. We actually have some news for you, well mostly you spider.

“What, what's going on, mom is everything ok.?”

“It’s fine baby uts good news like i said earlier we just wanted to tell you all together.””

“I can start y/n if you’d like. “

“yes please”

“Spider we’ve watched you grow up, always enamored with the world around you. Always learning the Navi ways and doing your best to fit in. I know it wasn’t always easy for you, so me and the others all decided to try and fix that. And well.”

“Oh god im dying aren't i” spider asks out loud

“What no spider! I say reprimanding the young boy

“Here kid look for yourself” miles hands spider a halo pad miles seeing we were having a hard time telling the child so he was going to just rip off the bandaid.”

The kids all gather around the screen before hitting play.

“Hey that looks like/Oh my eywa/ BRO!!!”

The kids all talk over each other as they see the video Spider just sitting frozen as they react

“Spider?” The boy looks up to me his eye glossing over with unsteady tears

“Is this real?”

“Yes baby it is. Norm, Max and the others were able to make you your own avatar.”

Spider just continues to stare at the screen as a tear falls down his face

“Bro those better be happy tears this is Amazing.” lo’ak says shaking spiders shoulders, Neteyam scolding him. Tuk simply tries to hug spider , wanting to comfort her brother. It's not till kiri takes the tablet away and makes Spider face her that he snaps out of his blank state.

“Monkey boy, you're ok just breathe.”

Spider takes in a few breaths regrounding I self befor ethanking kiri. He stands coming over to were all the adults where sitting before jumping into my arms, hugging me tight before doing the same with miles, jake and neytiri.

“Thank you guys, thank you”

“Your welcome kid I can’t think of anyone who deserves this more than you.” Jake says, smiling at the blonde teen.

“When can i see it” spider asks

“I actually don’t know? what do you think jake?”.

“We could get norm and max to bring it here..”

“NO” miles vetoes loudly us all looking at him shocked “Sorry, no offense sully but that's exactly why we found these islands in the first place. I don't want to give the rda another excuse to look over here,

“Miles is right jake.”

“No no I agree, I forgot about that,…. Ok well then if they can’t come here well have to go there”,

“What really/ really dad”.. the kids all say quickly

“Yeah we'll go back to the Forest but we're not there to stay guys….not yet.”

The kids slightly deflate but I can tell they understand what their father is saying.

“We'll be able to see mo’at, norm and everyone and pick up some more of our stuff but we do have to come back. The ocean is our home for now”.

Yes sir, they all answer i reach over squeezing kiri shoulder giving them all a knowing smile that they reciprocate.

Would next week work.?

Yeah that would work. We can let them know where coming up let’s Norm and them get everything ready.

Yaaaa we get to go get spider an avatar tuk cheers cheerfully in the middle of the group, the big smile on her face finding its way to everyone else as we all grill with hope about the future.

Tag list

@dyingofcookies @ratchetprime211 @myh3artttt @ducks118 @navs-bhat @im-in-a-pansexual-panik

[aviradasa]

I got you 🖤 to make this authentic I smoked a fat ass blunt just for you anyways I did the characters you requested plus a few extra and I decided to do small HC/ drabbles cause I have to many imagines atm 🤣 anyways also I added nuada from hellboy 2 cause he's pookie all the way @horny4bj-blog

Characters included:

Hellboy (2004)

Prince nuada ( hellboy 2, 2008)

Daryl (Alexandria timeline)

Sam (supernatural)

Dean (supernatural)

Castiel (supernatural

Lucifer (supernatural)

Let's get startedddd

Different characters react to you stoned/couch-logged

Hellboy:

Honestly was not surprised when he walked into him room one day to it smelling entirely of weed. Honestly he was mostly impressed because not only did it smell. But when the door opened all that came out was smoke.

Like damn.

When he went to venture further he was also not surprised when he saw you sprawled out on the couch with like 6 cats laying on you.

You didnt register him calling your name until he threw a candybar at your face

This is pretty much how it went

“Hey???” “…” “Hellooo??” “…” “Hey!” “Ow fuck what do you want.” you say as you open the candy bar and take a bite

Honestly he doesn't really care but he expects you to share you weed with him. If you don't he will lowkey just take it without asking and deal with you later. (no he won't pay you back hes always magically broke when you ask him to 😒)

As for you being on the couch he tells you to move over. If you don't he moves you himself.

He finds it funny to mess with you when you get to the point when you think everything is in slow motion And your basically not registering anything the way your supposed to

Like one time yall played Uno. And you were at the point you couldn't even read the cards and you were slumped over leaning on the back of the couch like a corpse thinkin the number 6 was the funniest shit on earth

And what did he do.convinced you to give him your cards so he could read them to you.in your state you agreed. That prick (this is based off a true story i have a lot of these adafia if you see this. Fuck you I should have one that game 🖕)

Yeah naw i dont have much for him he's just an asshole who also smokes so he don't really care yall end up watching a lot of movies though.

Nuada:

Now he's interesting with this idea lmao

He's confused as fuck cause he don't really do shit that could alter his mind, he want to stay sharp and ready for anything (boring fuckaaaa)

He at first acts like a disappointed mother

“ now why would you go and do this to yourself knowing what we have to do.” “because I'm a whole ass adult and it makes it more fun.” “that's besides the point (name)” part of a real argument yall had at one point

Yeah like don't get me wrong he doesn't hate weed he just thinks it makes you act dumb

He's lowkey right though

But anyways back to the prompt. When he walks in and your just spaces out in your bed he just shakes his head and goes to do what he needs to do.

If you are logged somewhere is his way this man with nudge/kick you with his foot until you move and if you don't he will just use his foot to roll you out of the way.

He acts like he doesn't care and to be frank he doesn't have the energy to put into caring about something so dumb so he leaves you alone.

But then there was the one time that he accidentally ate an edible.

He took that shit like a champ though and was able to function decently, but for the most part he was just chillin just silently staring off into space

He says he would never do that again. But you decide not to say anything when you notice some of your edibles missing.

Bro thinks he's slick 🤣🤣

Sam:

Ok gonna be honest his brother is dean. Need I say more

He knows what to do he pulls up with the munchies and some red box movie

If your slumped on the couch this man will sit on the floor

Y'all can talk for hours even if he is sober

Or you pass out from him typing on the computer cause I mean that sound is just relaxing.

Honestly don't have much for him he's just a chill guy

Dean:

He don't walk in

He's slumped with you on the other side of the couch

He eats all the damn munchies

He refuses to watch anything besides old Scooby doo reruns.

(he has a crush on the hex girls)

He's literally just a grown up child when he's high (not much different then normal)

Yall are laughing high people

The jokes are hilarious

Cass

He walks in and sees you on the couch looking half dead and he's confused

Like really confused

“Are you ok?” “huh?” are you ok??” “HUH??” “nevermind.”

He doesn't know what to do so he does nothing 😭😭

If you ask he will get you snacks

He's kinda hard to talk to so if you are laughing its at him not knowing anything

(these are getting short cause of my beautiful bong so its not my fault blame daisy that's my bongs name.)

Lucifer:

Ok let be honest here

He's lucifer he's hilarious

If you wanna feel like your gonna suffocate from laughing then he's your guy

He doesn't even try to be funny he just says out of pocket shit.

All the time

I haven't seen much of his character yet but he's already a favorite

I don't think he would light up with you unless you peer pressure him

Yes you have to peer pressurethe damn devil to smoke the devils lettuce with you.

If yall do he just spaces in and out while your on your phone on that couch unmoving

But during this spacing in and out he just says weird shit

I dare you to show him the dark crystal afterwords tho just trust me.

Daryl:

This man could not give less of a fuck

He's used to seeing people on all sorts of shit so some weed don't scare him

He just goes about his day

He will sit and chat with you

He's a horrible high sitter tho

If you get to high he's your worst nightmare

Will throw fake spiders and shit at you knowing your on that couch to see you jump

He's lowkey funny tho 🤣

He might smoke with you once in awhile

It's rare tho he's more of a drinker

Anyways that's all for today hope you enjoyed dis shitz

Edit: sorry I sounded like a fuckin idiot here also sorry I forgot Crowley and carol 😭😭 I wrote for nuada took a break forgot it was nuada and gaslit myself into thinking I wrote for Crowley 🤣🤣

didnt mean to but its really late and I'm to lazy to write for them rn so I hope you enjoy what I got down please forgive me🖤🖤 also sorry nuadas there you didnt ask for him I was just living it up with daisy at that moment.

[socialbunny]

15 questions for 15 mutuals :3

i was tagged by @annieshowell, @obsoletepixels, @goatskickin, @shitysimp, @sicksadsim and @jsasimmer <3333333333 thanks guys ily >:3

are you named after anyone? no, my mom had two names she wanted to pick for me and she and my dad settled on the one i have. but she was alsoo watching this movie in the hospital and one of the characters has my exact birth name so i think that cemented the name lol. and my name dirk, i named myself after dirk dreamer bc he's so me fr

when was the last time you cried? can't remember exactly

do you have kids? No I don't need that that in my life rn

do you use sarcasm a lot? I dooo, never in a mean way tho bc i feel like using sarcasm to mask how u feel abt some1 is pussy fr. i love joking around and poking fun and just being silly and weird and chillin like? irl personality is hit or miss with people. ive been told i talk back too much or always have something to say like? 😭

what sports do you play/have you played? when i was in elementary school i was in a dance group (terrible at it i have no rhythm at all it's honestly embarrassing) and when i was in high school i was in a tennis class (which was a PE alternative where we honestly never did shit tbh, towards the end of the school year we'd just be in the computer lab most of the time) and i considered joining the actual team but i also sucked at it 😭 and i really don't like doing team shit esp sports bc people start acting weird and i start getting real agitated.

what's the first thing you notice about other people? like physical i guess their outfit and hair and other shit i wear my glasses forr but shittttt, like just talking to someone i can catch their vibe really quick. just the way someone talks can tell you a lot abt them

eye color? Brown

scary movies or happy endings? it really depends on what the movie is

any special talents? nothing in particular i can think of. i think anything i do i'm really good at but not especially good at you know. i used to be told i'm really good at drawing but i was told this by the type of ppl who say they cant draw a stick figure so. take that as u will

where were you born? Texas 🤠

what are your hobbies? I love drawing and writing and reading and all the shit in that sphere of hobbies in theory 😭 been in a slump lately and doing shit seems harder than it needs to be. I love watching animation analysis and critiques, and listening to those 3hr vids of ppl talking abt shit i will never watch or care about while i do other bullshit. i really like making renders right now it gives me something to do without getting distracted too much. i also love playing really old shitty video games that have pages of cut content on tcrf

do you have any pets? No :( never had any pets when i was a kid either bc my mom had a whole bunch of dogs as a child and she didnt fw the idea of having any more animals in her house

how tall are you? 5'4 :)

fave subject in school? I love English (predictably I guess 😭)

dream job? i'd love to work in the animation industry in any way possible <3 or work in tv in general. probably have my own cartoon some day but thats such a stretchhhhhhhh i cant even work on my sims fanfiction or any oc shit LMAO. if not then i'd accept nothing less than a job where i don't have to talk to a lot of people and get payed billions of dollars to do bullshit

i dont have 15 ppl to tag since i do ask games so slowlyyyyy but i'll tag @despairoftheendless, @junkskoer, @faghotline and @hyperthinks !!! <3

[slashingdisneypasta]

If it's ok to ask, what do you think the other weasels' parenting styles would be? How do you think they'd respond after finding out they were dads? We have Smartass and his daughter, but what about the others?

Ooooooh, interesting!! Sorry for the late reply anon ^^ Warning, these are all them as good parents... obviously these guys would actually have their issues... but I wanted to write the fluffy things ^^ I will put one bad thing at the end.

Toon Patrol (Sans Smartass) as Parents || Blurbs + Headcanons

Greasy:

When he gets told: ... *Deadpanned* Of course. Like?? The one time he actually gets someone in bed and THIS happens!! Of course. Of course! He's so done XD Fine, bring it on.

... he's actually not bad at the father thing?? Slightly overbearing, embarrassing at times, and loose-lipped about shit that a child doesn't need to hear from their father- but he knows them, he's reasonable enough to take care of a child, and he never intimidates them. To his kid/s, Greasy Weasel is actually a doofus XD (As they grow older they do learn how scary he can also be... that is never aimed at them though).

He can tell if there is something up with them immediately. It is his sixth sense. When they were infants he somehow new seconds before they started crying, when they were children he could tell from so far away he couldn't even see their facial expressions if they were unhappy coming out of school, and when they were teenagers this talent of his was the bane of their existence XDD

He is OVERJOYED to have a child (or more) around that he can teach Spanish too!! He loves loves loves chatting to them in the language. Makes him feel so at home and comforted ^^ He loves them even more for bringing that back to him ^^

(As they get into their teenage years he and his kid do it around the other toon patrol members and make it seem like they're talking about THEM- drives Smartass insane.)

Accidentally teaches them curse words in both languages when they're really little XD

One Bad Thing: Deeeeefinetly attempted to use them to pick up chicks. Didnt work, obviously, but he did try. The other weasels surprise adopted his kid from him a couple of times when they could see it in his eyes.

Psycho:

When he gets told: Psycho did not see this coming. It does not compute. You say 'We're having a baby', and he's like '??? for lunch ???' Goodluck to you explaining that he is going to be a father. He partly doesnt wanna hear it and partly is shook.

@marinerainbow and I have of course talked about this XDD Basically Psycho would be the dad at the kids sporting events who is not really paying attention to the sport, instead harassing the poor snack vendor- but if his child were to get hurt?? If they bleed??? He'll be there in half a second. He can smell it XD

So, yeah. Fiercely protective, in an animalistic way. He hisses and immediately takes his baby away from someone if he doesn't like how they were holding them, he whines when they cry, etc.

Another animalistic-type thing he does with them is he nudges them with his nose when they learn to walk (And will continue to do this as they grow older. Like, its their first day at school? Nose nudge to get them through the gate. They get dinner? Nose nudge to tell them to take what they need first. Theirs a danger? Nose nudge to tell them to go.).

Likes to stare into their eyes as infants as a way to bond with them. Some men hold the babies to their bare skin- Psycho stares into their souls. Its a little characteristic, weird thing that becomes a comfort for the kid/s because its a Dad Thing.

Also watches them sleep. Will continue to do this no matter how old they are. He just loves it, seeing them breath- like good. They're alive. I love this one so much.

One Bad Thing: Psycho is very close with his kids (I mean who is gonna try and get in between this maniac and his bubbas?? not me!) and creates separation anxiety issues in them.

Stupid:

When he gets told: Ohhhh boy, you're gonna see Stupid really step up (Once he gets it) XD He recognises he's not the sharpest bloke on the block, its his name for a reason. So y'all are gonna have to read books, now. And go to classes. He will ask a gazillion questions until he fully understands how to care for his child- he'll even approach mothers he sees on the street with their babies and asks them what they're doing XD This will be painful for you, but at least he's taking this seriously.

This child... is not going to be touch starved. That is for sure. He loves cuddling them- having them in his lap with his hand on their lil belly so they don't fall, laying them on the mattress next to him for naps, walking around with them sleeping with their lil adorable smush face on his shoulder, etc. And don't worry, he will never drop them. Ever. He is on top of it.

As they grow older he still wants to cuddle them but it of course becomes less common ^^ Big bear hugs when they get out of school/come back from a sleepover or camp are still definitely a thing though! And they know his shoulder is always there if they need to cry.

Definitely plays games with them and puts all their artwork on the fridge. Will take stuff down or cover stuff up to make room, too. Like, Smartass are you still using this schedule??... you are?... alright well you can still see it if you lift up this lil handprint up. Isn't it cute boss??

Yeah, so Stupid may not be the smartest, more responsible father (He tries, but its not in his nature)... but he genuinely likes them, he wants them, and he will always be there if they need him. Always. Always, always, always.

He really shines as a parent when they're young but when they're older and going through an asshole phase, he will still love them blindly ^^ Always call them Little Bean.

One Bad Thing: ... Its possible he may... asphyxiate them in his arms. But they're toons so... uh 😅😅😅 They'll be fine?

Wheezy:

When he gets told: *Immediately starts smoking harder* Wheezy understands fully the actual weight involved with having a child. The responsibilities- not just keeping them alive and putting them in good schools, but making sure they turn out to be good people who are well adjusted and happy ^^ And he is TERRIFIED he will fuck them up.

Seems like a very chill father but lays awake at night wandering to himself if little things he did that day were the right thing... This makes him also very easy to bond with if you're taking care of the kid at any time in their younger years (Like if you're working at a childcare centre he takes them to, you babysit, you're their primary school teacher, or whatever) because you just tell him he's doing a good job and the kid is so happy ^^ He'll be so relieved and he'll ask questions and then, boom. You have a gang member in your corner.

He's chill... but not like, in a way that's damaging to the kid. If they hurt another child he will have them apologise (y'aint turning out like smartass. now go say you're sorry you punched the kid), if they want to go somewhere dangerous at night he's just gonna be like 'nope. you're gonna stay home and watch the bachelor with me' or 'fine... but you gotta take stupid with you', if they want to go to a sleepover when he's grounded them he has no qualms with calling the other parents 'nah dont count on (kids name) coming they're spendin the night playing monopoly with me. yeah. their idea actually. yep.'. etc.

Calls them kiddo, rugrat, hon, cutie, his itty bitty weasel, etc.

Ruffles their hair ^^

Told them bed time stories when they were a kid without a book, so they were mostly made up. Some of them are still running jokes between them.

One Bad Thing: ... well. You know. He does not set the best example with his addiction.

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Had a dream i went to japan with my aunt and these two boys (one a cute little farm boy and another a hardcore city boy) were like fighting over me and it was like a cute ghibli romance theyd give me things to try and win my heart but i didnt end up choosing i went back home with my aunt lol

then i woke up, thank you dogs

Had a little follow up dream that i was staying with my family in this high rise apartment, and it was like a superhero universe that included like teen titans and batman and superman for some reason. a girl flew up to my apartment and she was like starfire but she wasnt starfire, maybe like au version of her my brain cooked up but she was struggling to fight and couldnt keep up, so since she knew me she flew up here and me and my mom were helping her recover. Since she couldnt fight i wanted to help but wasnt sure if i could so i just started jumping and doing it over and over until i eventually stayed in the air, and while they were busy i wriggled my way out of an open window (nobody was happy about this, there usually isnt anybody happy about me flying in my dreams for some reason)

so im down there and im flying around trying to see whats what, and the way im flying is like... im tinkerbell, like when im in the air im a little spec of ever falling gold dust but from first person pov i feel normal i dont even realize its happened. I also have an inventory but thats not too important, that was just something that happens. And it looks like this giant bug looking machine is like chomping through the city side, like ladybug type bug looking not like ant looking, and it has big metal teeth and its headed towards a big building and theres a bunch of superheros down there and im like... i need to go find superman, WHERE IS HIS ASS!!!! bro stopped a boulder why isnt his ass down here!!!!

so i get down from the air and now im in the inner city, mostly some kind of mall and im just passing through and suddenly someone fucking SHOOTS ME with a GUN and i turn around and its this bald guy (kinda looks like my uncle but i say that about every overweight bald guy) and im like?? u can SEE me?? but it registers in my mind that this is the guy controlling the big bug machine and hes just down here casually shopping in a hallmark in a mall, thats fine. i proceed to get the fuck outta dodge, getting shot once more and getting shot at another time (he missed the second time) and at this point im like fuck superman, i need batman where is he!!!! alfred can fix this shit!!

so now im looking for batman, starting over at square 1 where is wayne towers but also i have just been shot twice and i can only identify my apartment building so i go over there, and theres like a ledge on the side of the apartment where this girl is sitting with not-starfire and theyre trying to plot on how to help me from home, with a computer in her lap and a bunch of laundry sitting next to her. So i decide to do the normal thing and just start fucking around with the laundry to make her laugh. Eventually i stop acting dumb and im like listen... i need to find batman and i need to find superman, can you help me?? and theyre like yeah!! Apparently this girl has a strong online presence and she is gonna post basically a reverse geoguesser where people send in sightings of batman and or superman and she can identify and send me that location.

In the meantime, im going down into the city as a normal person because i dont feel like getting shot again and my current bullet wounds are moreso aching than hurting, and i get stuck in a line which sucks but i cant just start flying down here!!! Anyway i try making polite conversation with the guy in front of me and hes a huge DICK and he calls over this guy and hes like "HEY SHE HAS CONTRABAND!!!!!" and im like WHAT THE FUCK DUDE???

so this guard comes over and he makes me show him the contraband i have which is a locket from the previous dream that the city boy gave me, it turns out this guard is japanese and hes like "awwww who gave this to you?? A cute boy???" and im like "Yes.." and we end up having a nice conversation about it, its similar to something he gave his own wife when he was young and now the guy in front of me is an even bigger dick and tries to snitch on me for having cheese which is bullshit, all i had was bread (which admittedly i did have to hand over)

there was a little bit after that but i dont remember, i woke up lol

[quirkthieves]

Viv I need you to know that every time I see you on the dash or in my notifs or in my dms or literally ANYWHERE my day gets a million times brighter, I love reading your writing and your hcs regardless of which muse/chara you're talking about and honestly going back and forth with you about kemoji has made me love this series x10 times more than I initially did. I'm also SOOO very grateful to you for helping me find the new ch translations whenever they drop & it warms my heart to see your passion for Romanian culture and the way you've made Mioara into SUCH a compelling chara that she's practically tied to my Mihai. like you genuinely couldn't tear her out of my hands if you tried. ANYWAY ILYSM AND I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON!! xoxoxo

CHRISSSSSSSSS you have no idea how much this means to me... ;^;/ .... i dont have the words for it and i dont have my emotes on this computer but rest assured im doing some WUAHGHGH shit

it's been so fun going back and forth with you on things too!!!! ive definitely come to like mihai so much more as a character and its been fun exploring dynamics that never could happen in the series and i love hearing your headcanons and im being 100% serious when i say i absolute love how unabashed you are with writing your muses. i feel like theres a struggle myself and a lot of other writers have when it comes to writing characters like mihai or mikito where we wanna sand off some of the rougher edges but there's so much more life and voice when someone (you) can keep them true to form because thats the appeal of characters like that in the first place!!!

AND IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MIOARA..... <3 i always get a little worried that when i write characters like her that i may slip into "weird weeby territory" but genuinely i love writing her and drawing him and reading deep dives and articles and journals and everything else that ive been led to on the journey!!! the decision to make him romanian actually came about as the result of an existing passion for learning about the culture because of an exhibit my job hosted of contemporary works from the cluj-napoca school and the information document i put together for it since i have another romanian friend that i knew would be really excited for it and i wanted to make her proud 💪💪💪 almost a year later and now im working on learning the language and trying my best to do right by such a rich and interesting history & culture

LOLLL okay that got corny sorry i didnt mean to get on a soap box there but it just makes me really happy to hear that if nothing else my effort is shining through <3 ok ily chris im gonna stop typing before i make myself look goofy on here

[its-a-hil]

ok. random question. literally from the random question generator at randomwordgenerator dot cahm: What's your go-to funny story now, but was horrendous at that moment?

(i think it gave me a question i already know but eh shoot)

hm.

alright i think this is actually more of the reverse than the forward direction, but sure

when i was in middle school, i was such a horrible procrastinator (note: i am still one of those) that i often wrote rough drafts of essays during lunch

(the one year in middle school i didnt do this was when i had english 1st period. tbh i wish my schedule had worked out like that all 3 years, but alas)

but i got so comfortable just throwing out words with a pencil that i kept doing it and now i almost never edit anything bc i need to write it all in one go or it's wrong

but final drafts still had to be typed & printed, so it was only my rough drafts that were like this

fast forward to high school, and rough drafts became less of a thing

my compulsion to procrastinate did not.

oh also relevant here is that i was emotionally incapable of asking for an extension or submitting online after class or anything

so.

senior year of high school. we had an essay to write on Twelfth Night, where we had to pick a word that was repeated a few times and discuss its effect on the story

i picked 'fancy' and used it to argue the absolute bullshit point that it meant the whole thing was a dream, because i had no other ideas and my brain refused to set aside time to do something more reasonable

except.

i did not begin writing until lunch of that day.

i did not have access to the computer lab i had planned to write the essay in.

i pleaded with a friend to lend me his laptop, on which i did the most frantic writing of my life. i dont remember if i ate any food during that lunch period.

(according to my diary i also said something shitty to that friend even as he was doing me a massive favor, which. god.)

looking at the document now (ty google drive), it seems that i didnt actually finish the essay, just wrote notes on the different uses of the word

im not sure if it was just a rough draft or notes kind of thing that was due, or if i lucked out and the essay was extended or something? unclear

but what is clear is that i wrote 440 words in just over an hour, and that's not counting the quotes i had to transcribe (which also made up over 400 words)

the following night i turned it into an actual 750ish word essay in also about an hour, bc. yeah. (i still didn't write an intro until i printed it out during study hall the next day lmao)

so anyway the essay was shit, the teacher was genuinely confused and pulled me aside after the class where she handed the essays back

note: she was also the theater teacher & that semester i was doing the play afterschool, and i think she knew i was better than what i handed in

:/

in my defense i was fairly depressed that couple of months, partially due to an responsibility that i did not realize i could easily say no to. the only consequence that refusing that responsibility would have had is that i would have hated myself less and possibly liked engineering more

oh also looking at my diary apparently that was also the week that i taught precalc bc the teacher's partner was suddenly out for paternity leave and i had an essentially free period during the precalc class

so yeah that's probably the third most interesting week of my senior after the week that we had the play performances and the week i was out in the hospital when my lungs spontaneously collapsed

the funniest part of that story is that it took me another 3ish years to realize that i wanted to be a teacher, and another 2 years after that to act on that desire. lmao

anyway bc im sure you freaks want to see it, im putting the essay under the cut

Actual essay:

Twelfth Night is one of Shakespeare’s most fantastical plays. Even without the use of magic, the supposedly realistic events are completely improbable. There is evidence that the play was intended to be a fantasy, and throughout the play, the word “fancy” is used to suggest to the audience that the events of the play are little more than a fanciful construction of Orsino’s mind. 

Orsino speaks four of the six instances of “fancy” or “fantasy.” Two of these instances come in his first monologue, right at the beginning of the play. He claims that “so full of shapes is fancy that it alone is high fantastical” (1.1.14-15). As Adams says, in this passage Orsino claims “that his own imagination is so fertile that it is supremely capricious and whimsical.” (Adams 58). It is odd that the play would start with this double mention of fancy, especially when the word is not mentioned again until the end of Act two. It is even stranger that the plot concludes with Orsino making Viola/Cesario his “fancy’s queen” (5.1.415). Although Feste finishes the play with his final song, this line is the last spoken by any other character, and is a natural conclusion to the play nonetheless. There must be a reason why the play both begins and ends with a word only used six times throughout. This is the most direct clue that the play does not merely describe events in Shakespeare’s mind, but instead describes events in Orsino’s mind. 

More clues can be found by examining the other uses of fancy in the play. Sebastian remarks “Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep” after encountering a smitten, and unfamiliar Olivia (4.1.65). This line comes in one of the more fantastical scenes in the play, where Sebastian enters Illyria and is mistaken by everyone for Cesario. Sebastian can only conclude “this is a dream,” and calls upon fancy - imagination - to keep him from waking up. Sebastian addresses fancy as a powerful being, that has the ability to manipulate the world he sees. If the play does take place in Orsino’s imagination, fancy would have this power. Another thing to note about Sebastian’s mention of fancy is that it is in reference to Olivia. Her love for him, and reproach of the men who were dueling him, is the only reason he would want to continue living in this dream.

Olivia is a common subject of fancy, as used in its alternate definition of love. Malvolio, just before seeing Maria’s letter, thinks aloud that “should [Olivia] fancy, it should be one of my complexion” (2.5.24-25). Almost all references to fancy are directly related to Olivia. In fact, every major male character, except her uncle, is in love with Olivia. It is difficult for Orsino to conceive of a character who is not enamored when in the presence of the beautiful lady Olivia.  To him, when Olivia enters, “heaven walks on earth” (5.1.99). 

Regarding the rest of Malvolio’s scene, it is no less strange than Sebastian’s. The dour puritan begins with a statement of love for his lady, and then follows the insane directions of a letter that apparently describes her love for him, while the pranksters hide and watch in a nearby bush. Orsino’s mentions of “fancy” also take place in strange scenes. Without touching on the chaotic mess that is 5.1, 1.1 regards a Duke, who has been laid low grieving over his unrequited love for Olivia. She, in turn, decides not to admit any suitors until she has spent seven entire years mourning her dead brother. This scene feels almost surreal, setting the stage for the play that is to follow. Since almost every instance of the word fancy comes during a surreal scene, it can be inferred that the word is an indicator - a message to the audience that this play is a fantasy in the mind of Orsino.

There is one more use of “fancy,” however. During the argument between Orsino and Viola, Orsino speaks of men’s fancies as “more longing, wavering… than women’s are” (2.4.41-42). Twelfth Night is certainly long, spanning three months in Illyria, and the play constantly wavers from uplifting to demeaning, from reasonable to insane. The play as a whole fits so well with Orsino’s description of his “fancies” that one must wonder why that particular description was used. Interpreting Twelfth Night as a fancy conjured up by Orsino’s stricken mind makes a good deal more sense than attempting to reconcile the events with the real world. 

Work Cited:Adams, B. (1978). Orsino and the Spirit of Love: Text, Syntax, and Sense In Twelfth Night, I. i. 1-15. Shakespeare Quarterly,29(1), 52-59. doi:10.2307/2869169

The notes i wrote during the lunch period:

The first appearance of the word comes during Orsino’s monologue. The grief-stricken man describes his lovesickness by referring to his imagining of fantasies involving Olivia. Fancy is “full of shapes” to hear him tell it, filled with all kinds of images (1.1.14). This implies an interesting idea of the plot; it may be nothing more than a lovesick dream conjured by Orsino’s mind. After all, the plot is as “high fantastical” as something a distressed lover might imagine. (1.1.15). 

Malvolio’s mention of fancy is also about love and imagining it. He talks about “her [Olivia’s] fancy,” but the context of the scene and the rest of his dialogue imply that he is the one who fancies Olivia (2.5.24).. Malvolio claims that Olivia has said she would fancy “one of my complexion,” indicating that Malvolio has, through confirmation bias and imagination, convinced himself that Olivia was in love with him even before reading Maria’s letter (2.5.25). The fact that Malvolio, the outwardly stalwart Puritan, is as fanciful and in love as Orsino is a strong device for making fun of the Puritans as Shakespeare was wont to do. 

Sebastian has his reference to fancy when he meets Olivia and finds that he is the object of her fancy. 

[Discussing of the other two quotes]

In Twelfth Night, characters mention fancy when in fantastical scenes. Orsino had neglected his duties as a Duke to be lovesick over Olivia, Malvolio convinced himself that Olivia was in love with him moments before happening upon a letter regarding Olivia’s love, Sebastian came to a foreign city and found that a woman he had never seen was madly in love with him, and the final scene is perhaps the most fanciful of them all. Everything comes together in a hilarious, satisfying, and utterly unrealistic way. The use of the word fancy indicates that a scene either was or will be fanciful. This implies that Shakespeare is breaking the fourth wall, drawing attention to works of the imagination when the audience may be considering the play as imagination. In that way, Shakespeare implies that this comedy, however nice it may seem, is just a lovesick fantasy in the mind of Duke Orsino. 

Note also that almost every mention of the word is in reference to Olivia. The only exception is when Orsino calls Viola his “fancy’s queen,” but Orsino could just be (Inception-style) trying to prove to himself that he can love another. That is why the timeline does not make sense; Orsino needed to believe that his mind was not so changeable, that he would need three months with another woman to move past his love for Olivia. 

Quotes:

1.1.14-15:

Orsino: “So full of shapes is fancy 

That it alone is high fantastical.”

Context: These lines conclude Orsino’s opening monologue about his lovesickness and passion for Olivia. The monologue is discordant throughout, and this line sounds very arrogant, that nobody but a lover could have an extreme imagination.

This quote illustrates Orsino’s arrogance about his position (which is expanded upon in his later argument with Viola) and tells the audience that Orsino has spent some time cooped up in his mansion thinking of Olivia. 

2.5.23-25

Malvolio: “I have heard herself come

thus near, that, should she fancy, it should be one

of my complexion.“

Context: This comes just before Malvolio finds Maria’s letter, when he is fancying that Olivia might be in love with him. He has almost convinced himself of her love even before he sees Maria’s letter, which would be a strange coincidence if Twelfth Night was not a comedy. 

This quote describes Malvolio’s desperation to be loved by Olivia. He uses a few choice words and actions of Olivia as a justification for her love, indicating confirmation bias and lack of perspective. 

4.1.63-66

Sebastian: “What relish is in this? how runs the stream?

Or I am mad, or else this is a dream:

Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;

If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!”

Context: This comes just after Sebastian enters Illyria and finds a beautiful woman suddenly wish to marry him. It is so illogical that he believes he must be dreaming, and he wishes for fancy to keep him from waking up. 

This quote tells us that Sebastian is wondrous at his entrance to Illyria. He forgets about Antonio as soon as strange men wish to duel and a strange beautiful woman claims to be in love with him. Sebastian is far more relaxed than most people would be in this context, especially if they could not find Antonio, the only person he was close with for the past three months.

5.1.412-415

Orsino: “Cesario, come;

For so you shall be, while you are a man;

But when in other habits you are seen,

Orsino's mistress and his fancy's queen.”

Context: This is the last line spoken by any character except Feste. It comes after Orsino learns of Viola’s true identity and gives up his love for Olivia. 

This quote implies that Orsino still thinks of Viola as Cesario, at least while she is in men’s clothing.