#you don't understand me like fob do

[acheittilyoumakeit]

Hello I still haven't posted anything but I'm here to say Fake Out is about me bye

[thekidsare-not-alright]

I think some mcr fans would rather die than acknowledge that the break up helped cement their legacy and popularity. everyone loves a martyr/what they can't get more of, yknow. it's a fact of life

[austinwehaveaproblem]

i think i just need to like. take a day off and be super autistic abt fall out boy it'd fix me.

[daysofyellowroses]

jam

richie jerimovich x afab single mom reader | 4.6k | tw: smoking, language, little bit of smut

this story basically came from me listening to norman fucking rockwell and radio by lana del rey (my robbed queen) on repeat, two songs that don't have a ton to do with this story but I was vibing to them and thinking about the fact that I actually really find richie attractive and this story just came out

—

“Alright, I'll see you later thanks so much!”

You hurried down the steps of your house, jiggling the keys in your hand til you found the key fob for the car and unlocked it. Your bag was tossed into the passenger seat, and you quickly started the car.

When you pulled up in the crowded car park, you checked the time and let out a sigh. Five minutes late. Of course. You grabbed your bag and headed straight into the building, adjusting your coat as you slipped into the auditorium. 

There was a group standing at the back, but you scanned over the seats anyway, spotting an empty one and quietly sitting down, smiling as you saw Richie sitting in the next seat looking like he was struggling not to fall asleep.

“Hey,” You whispered, resting your bag in your lap. “Did I miss anything?”

“Oh, hey,” Richie smiled a little, sitting up and gesturing to the stage. “Nah, you didn't miss anything except this jabroni talking shit about lunch menus.”

“The usual then,” You nodded, looking at the stage. “His voice just drains me. I nearly fell out of my seat when he was talking to me at the last parent's evening. At least it would have rescued me.”

Richie laughed a little, rubbing his jaw and letting out a yawn.

“I hate these things. Can't they just send a letter home with the kids saying whatever all this is?”

“I wish.” You sighed, glancing over to Richie. You were a little surprised to see him, usually it was Tiff who came to these meetings, sat beside you in boredom. Maybe she wasn't feeling well or something, it was a rare occurrence for Richie to show his face at any school event that didn't directly involve Eva.

“Before I forget,” You looked back to your bag, reaching into it. “I have something for you. Here we are.”

You pulled out a folded slip of paper, handing it over to Richie with a smile.

“What's this?” Richie raised a brow with a grin as he unfolded the paper. “To Richie, you are invited to Mia's fifth birthday party on Saturday at 1pm..”

He looked over to you, holding up the colorful invite. “This is so adorable, really. Eva is so excited for the party, she spent an hour telling me about it the other night.”

You smiled as you watched Richie look back at the invite before carefully folding it.

“Honestly I think Mia would be happy if Eva was the only person to show up,” You grinned. “she keeps asking if she'll definitely be there. And she wanted to make sure you and Tiff got invites, she doesn't really understand that parents don't need invites, but I think in her mind if she invites you both then Eva will definitely be there.”

“That's fucking precious,” Richie smiled, looking over to you. “I'll be there, I got Eva on Saturday. But I think Tiff is..away, this weekend.”

You reached out to gently touch Richie's arm, giving him a warm smile. 

“But you'll be there, thank god. I'm gonna need someone to talk to because I can't deal with the mommy cult.”

Richie nodded, letting out a chuckle before looking to the stage.

“You know, I'm pretty sure he was the principal when I went here. And he was still giving the same speech.”

You let out a laugh that was louder than you intended, covering your mouth when a couple of heads turned to look at you and the principal craned his neck forward to see the cause.

“Please hold all comments until the Q&A,” He frowned, looking over the top of his glasses. “As I was saying..”

“Q&A?” Richie muttered, slinking back in his seat. “What is this, Cannes fucking film festival?”

A long hour later, you and Richie slipped outside for a smoke as soon as the meeting ended, avoiding any run-ins with the mommy cult that always seemed so keen to recruit you. 

“That was torture,” You sighed, reaching into your bag for a light. “I hate that man, honestly.”

“Me too,” Richie nodded, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and holding it out to you. “He hates me too though, since I called him a jumped up little fucker.”

You laughed as you slid out a cigarette, placing it between your lips and flicking your lighter.

“He is though,” You murmured, handing your light to Richie and exhaling.

“He definitely hates me too. I can feel it. Sorry I can't bring anything more exciting than rice crispy squares to bake sales, I have a fucking life.”

You let out a sigh as you flicked your cigarette, glancing over to Richie and laughing.

“Sorry, I don't mean to get all..uppity. How's everything with you? I heard the Beef is getting a makeover?”

“Yeah,” Richie nodded, exhaling smoke and resting his hand on his pocket. “It's uh..it's all good, yeah. Chaotic, but that's to be expected right?”

“Right,” You smiled, pulling your coat a little tighter. “It must be exciting though, knowing you're about to start something new.”

“Mm,” Richie nodded, taking a long drag on his cigarette. “I guess I'm just not letting myself get too excited just yet. Just in case.”

“That's fair,” You agreed, taking a drag of your cigarette and glancing over your shoulder as you heard voices coming from the front door of the school. “But I think it will work out. Gut instinct, I'm never wrong.”

Richie laughed softly, smiling as he looked over to you.

“I'll have to borrow some of your faith, I got this..thing coming up that I'm-”

“Oh my gosh, there you are!”

You raised a brow as you heard a voice behind you, turning around and forcing yourself to smile as you spotted one of the ringleaders of the mommy cult. Perfectly styled hair, flawless makeup, a coat that cost more than your mortgage, and a very fake smile on her face.

“Hey Sarah,” You smiled widely, your mouth hurting a little. “How are you?”

You heard Richie scoff behind you and tried not to laugh.

“Ugh, I'm such a mess right now,” Sarah sighed, tossing her long curls over her shoulder. “I just had to throw something on to come to this, I was just so busy all day.”

“Mm,” You nodded, biting your tongue hard. If spending your husband's money and fucking your PT was a career she'd be the CEO. “Yeah, it's..it's tough.”

“I know,” Sarah smiled, touching your arm. “I meant to catch up with you at the gates this morning but you just looked so..frantic.”

Sorry we can't all turn up at the school gates in designer gym wear with a perfect ponytail and a decaf latte, you thought to yourself, forcing the smile to stay on your face.

“But I wanted to check in with you,” Sarah continued. “About Saturday. Will you be serving food? Drinks? Cake?”

“Will I be serving food, drinks and cake at my five year old daughter's birthday party?” You raised a brow, tilting your head slightly with a smile. “Yes, yes I will be doing that.”

“Okay, awesome,” Sarah smiled. “Well Tabitha isn't eating meat, dairy or preservatives at the moment, just so you're aware..but please don't let that interfere with your plans, I can always just bring something for her myself.”

“Awesome,” You smiled, your cheeks starting to ache. “Well I have to be off but I'll see you Saturday, can't wait.”

Once Sarah had walked away you let out a deep sigh before turning back to Richie and taking a long drag on your cigarette.

“Well that was..awesome,” He grinned. “free entertainment.”

“For you maybe,” You sighed, laughing as you flicked your depleted cigarette away. Richie reached for the box and you shook your head. “God I can't stand that fucking woman. You know her precious Tabitha was eating hot dogs and cake at the birthday party last weekend. Funny how she always seems to develop new eating habits when I'm the one throwing the party.”

“Hey, don't let her get to you,” Richie insisted, gently touching your shoulder. “The party is gonna be awesome, the food is going to be great, if you need anything at all just hit me up, alright?”

“Stop being so sweet, I'll cry,” You laughed softly, gently squeezing Richie's arm. “But thank you. I appreciate it.”

Richie waved his hand with a smile, shaking his head. 

“Don't mention it. I gotta get going but I will see you Saturday, right? Gonna be awesome,” He teased in a high pitched voice.

“Oh fuck off.” You grinned, walking over to your and being unable to stop the smile the whole ride home.

For the rest of the week, you found yourself excited and nervous for the party, when usually you were totally calm. The past four had been a breeze, blow up some balloons, play music, serve cake. But this one had you feeling more on edge. 

On the morning of the party, you tried to relax yourself. Your best friend had come over to help you set up, and very sweetly entertained Mia while you got everything set up. You laughed when your best friend pointed out that your house looked more like a meeting of the Taylor Swift fan club than a birthday party, but Mia was a girl who knew what she wanted. 

Once everything was ready, you ran to have a shower and get changed before the first guests arrived, taking a little extra time with your hair and makeup but not too much because there was no need for full drag for a child's birthday party.

To your surprise/relief, the party seemed to be a hit. Mia and Eva were glued together the moment Eva arrived, the two of them running off into the house giggling, leaving you alone in the hallway with Richie.

“That's her day made,” You smiled, embracing Richie in a hug. “Thanks for coming.”

“My pleasure,” Richie gently stroked your back before you moved apart, holding out a large pink gift bag. “Got somewhere I can leave this?”

“Of course, come on through,” You smiled, heading into the living room where the coffee table was already starting to get full. You told yourself you had probably given the equivalent amount of gifts over the past few months between all the other kids parties but it still felt like too much. “You can just leave it with the others.”

“I would say what it is,” Richie smiled, setting the bag down before turning back to you. “But I don't know. Some teddy bear looking thing that's got some whole backstory, apparently.”

“They all have a backstory now,” You grinned. “I can't keep up. Do you want a drink? Something to eat?”

“Sounds good,” Richie nodded, gesturing to the door. “After you.”

A couple of hours, half of Taylor Swifts's back catalogue, dozens of hot dogs, endless cupcakes, and a couple of sneaky beers later, you were feeling much more relaxed. 

For the most part, you'd managed to avoid Sarah and the mommy cult, who mostly stood in a circle, one hot uneaten cupcake between them. There were some lunch boxes with half eaten salads in them, and you were sure there wasn't a crumb of cake left.

You were in the kitchen with your best friend, showing her some of the pictures you'd taken of the day when Richie came in, giving you a nod.

“Oh, perfect timing,” You smiled, holding out your phone to Richie. “How cute is this photo of the girls? I think I'm gonna have to get it framed.”

“Let's see,” Richie smiled, walking closer and accepting your phone. “Well look at that..that's possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen.”

“I'm gonna have to take off,” Your best friend smiled knowingly at you as you raised a brow. “It was a great day, honestly.”

As she was leaving you got a ‘He’s fucking cute’ mouthed at you and you had to bite your tongue.

“I know it's corny but I hope they're best friends forever,” You smiled as Richie handed your phone back. “they're so sweet together.”

“That is so corny,” Richie rolled his eyes with a grin. “But I get it. Even if it is really corny.”

“Shut up and get me another beer,” You raised a brow with a smile. “I should have you thrown out for being so rude to the host.”

“Alright, alright,” Richie held his hands up, walking backwards to the fridge. “I'm truly, truly sorry, you've been an amazing host, really.”

“Thanks,” You smiled, setting down your empty beer bottle. “I was weirdly stressed over all this but..I think it turned out okay? The cake was good, wasn't it? Like, it was okay?”

“Okay? It was out of this fucking world,” Richie opened the fridge, getting two beers from the bottom drawer. “Truly. You made it yourself right?”

“Yeah,” You nodded, accepting the beer Richie handed you with a smile. “I always make Mia's cake. Chocolate cake with peanut butter cups on top, it was what I asked for when I was five. Well, I asked for peanut butter cups instead of a cake but my mom compromised. It would be so much easier to just buy a cake, but..I just feel like I need to overcompensate because..”

“Because her dad is a bum,” Richie muttered, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Sorry, that was..inappropriate. Forget I said that.”

You smiled as you opened your beer, watching Richie look like he wanted the ground to swallow him. 

“It's okay,” You insisted. “I've called him a lot worse. But I'm glad that the cake went over well.”

“Absolutely,” Richie nodded, taking a sip of his beer before glancing to the door. “Listen, before I forget..I actually have an extra gift for Mia. But I thought I should run it by you first.”

“Oh?” You set your beer down, resting your hands back on the counter. “What is it?”

“These,” Richie reached into his back pocket, pulling out an envelope and handing it over to you. “I managed to pull some strings.”

“What is this?” You smiled, turning the envelope and slowly peeling it open. You let out a gasp as you saw what was inside, carefully taking out a ticket to the Eras tour, looking back into the envelope and seeing three more.

“This is..”

You took a deep breath, laughing after a moment. 

“Richie..have you been walking around all day with these in your pocket?”

“Well..yeah?” Richie frowned, gesturing to the tickets. “I don't know if Mia still likes Taylor Swift but Eva really wanted to go to the concert and I figured if Eva likes Taylor Swift then Mia likes Taylor Swift, probably, and I thought it might be weird or a lot if I took them on my own and I don't even know if you're a Taylor Swift fan but I mean who isn't, really, and I-”

“Richie,” You held your hand up. “This is going to be her favorite gift of all time, it is unbelievably generous of you. I can't thank you enough, truly. This is..amazing, I can't wait to show her.”

Richie was silent for a moment, a smile stuck on his face.

“Don't mention it, happy to do it.”

You waited until all the other guests had left before you sat Eva and Mia down and got them to close their eyes, placing the tickets in their hands. You were pretty sure your hearing wouldn't come back for a solid day or two, you'd never heard screams so loud. 

While the girls played together, Richie helped you clean up, despite your insistence he was a guest and didn't need to.

You were standing on a stepladder taking down deflated balloons, handing them to Richie who was putting them in a trash bag.

“Oh shit, did I tell you about the soft launch?” He asked.

“The what now?” You raised a brow, glancing down at Richie. “What's a soft launch?”

“Like a..trial opening, for the restaurant,” Richie explained. “For family and friends. Just so we can see how it will go.”

“Oh,” You nodded, looking back to the balloons. “I get you. That's exciting, when is that happening?”

“Next Friday night,” Richie held the bag open as you dropped more balloons in. “You should come. Bring a friend, have a night out. I can put you down, if you want?”

You couldn't help but smile at the hopefulness in his voice, turning to look at him and leaning down a little.

“I want that very much,” You murmured softly, lightly biting your lip as you watched him take a breath and lean in closer. You felt your heart race, the scent of his cologne engulfing you and making you want to grab him and jump into his arms when you heard an excited shriek and quickly pulled back, clearing your throat and smiling as the girls came running back into the room. 

When you waved Richie and Eva goodbye, you let out a deep breath as you closed the front door, your heart still racing.

The week that followed was the longest of your life. Days went too slow and too fast. You spent your lunch breaks frantically searching for an outfit for the restaurant launch, sending endless links to your best friend for approval. You went back and forth on whether you should get your hair and makeup done professionally or if that was too much, but what if the restaurant was going to be fancy? You wanted to look the part after all.

When Friday came you raced home from work, changed into sweatpants and a comfortable baggy t-shirt before taking Mia to your friend's house, offering a thousand thank yous for the babysitting and a thousand promises to take them out to the Bear next time.

When you got home your best friend was just pulling up, and you quickly pulled her into the house.

You settled on allowing your bestie to do your hair and makeup, which proved to be the perfect choice when you couldn't stop looking at yourself in the mirror.

The dress you'd ordered hung in the closet, waiting to be worn. It was quite simple, black and mid-length, but still elegant and just a little bougie because..how often can you say you're going to a restaurant opening?

“Ready?” 

You looked up from the mirror, smiling through the nerves.

“Ready.”

When you were walking around the corner to the restaurant, you raised a brow as you saw a line down the block, linking arms with your bestie as you went to join the queue.

“So,” Your bestie looked over to you with a grin. “You're definitely fucking him tonight, right?”

“What?” You laughed, slightly nervously, looking over to your bestie. “Don't be ridiculous, we're just friends.”

“Mm, okay,” Your bestie nodded. “you tell yourself that.”

You rolled your eyes and gave your bestie a nudge, the two of you bursting out laughing.

When you reached the front of the queue, you felt a fresh wave of nerves hit you as you walked into the restaurant. It looked incredible, totally different than it had before. You were just getting used to it when another new sight hit you, one that almost had your jaw on the floor.

“Ladies, welcome to the Bear,” Richie smiled, appearing in front of you in a suit, with a new cologne that had you feeling on edge already. He clicked his fingers and there was a waitress beside you both offering to take your coats. 

“You are in for an incredible evening, when you're ready follow me and I'll take you to your table.”

“Oh yeah,” Your bestie whispered to you as Richie led you to a table. “you're definitely fucking him.”

You slowly relaxed as the evening went on, enjoying having a rare night out. The wine was heavenly, the food was incredible, and having Richie drop by to check in on you was the cherry on the cake.

At some point he disappeared from the floor for a while, and you found yourself missing him, but focused on having some quality time with your bestie.

When you finished dinner, you felt like you wouldn't be able to move for a week, a wonderful feeling. You couldn't believe it when Richie appeared, coming over to your table with a tray in his hand, a plate covered with a cloche.

“Dessert, ladies,” He smiled. “enjoy.”

“Oh I honestly couldn't eat another-”

Your hand flew over your heart as Richie set the plate down, lifting off the cloche to reveal a large peanut butter cup with caramel drizzled around it.

“Thank you,” You managed after a moment, looking up to Richie. “I love it.”

“My pleasure,” Richie gave you a wink. “Enjoy.”

“Alright, smile,” Your bestie grinned, taking her phone. “I need a photo of this.”

After the perfect dessert, you felt like you were riding on a high, catching Richie's eye from across the restaurant and giving him a smile before looking back to your best friend. 

“I'll be right back.”

You got up and went to the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror and taking a deep breath. You smoothed out your dress, did a little over the shoulder look before spritzing on a little extra perfume and heading back out. You bumped into Richie almost immediately, taking a step back with a smile.

“Careful, I might think you were waiting for me,” You teased. “Thank you again for that dessert, and for everything..it's amazing.”

“Glad you enjoyed it,” Richie nodded, looking down for a moment before looking back up with a smile and a raised brow. “Something on my face?”

“No,” You smiled, gently touching his tie. “Just..admiring this new look.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” You nodded. “Listen, I know you're probably gonna be going out to celebrate after this and I am being extremely presumptuous but I've had a bottle of wine so I can say this..”

You took a deep breath, looking away for a moment before looking back to Richie.

“If you're around, later..you know where I am.”

You walked away before he could respond, your heart thundering in your chest. You and your bestie collected your coats and decided to go have one more drink somewhere before heading home in an Uber, your head on her shoulder. 

You waved her off when you got dropped home, heading inside and checking your phone. Your friend who was babysitting Mia asked how the night had been, you sent a quick reply before heading upstairs to change. 

You put on some comfortable pajamas but kept your nice underwear on, just in case. You took your makeup off and did your usual nighttime routine before heading down to the living room and getting comfortable on the couch. 

An hour later you had a knock on the front door, smiling to yourself and getting up from the couch. You opened the door to find Richie on the other side, his head in his head.

“I just hit on your elderly neighbor,” He groaned. “I got the wrong door and said some things..can I come in?”

“Get in before Mr. Williams calls the police,” You grinned, taking Richie's arm and pulling him inside. “There's gonna be rumors about a late night deviant.”

“Hey, less of that,” Richie grinned, closing the door behind him. “I'm a lot of things but I'm not a deviant.”

“So what do you call terrorizing elderly men at night?” You teased. “Because I can think of a few words..like..”

You muffled a laugh as Richie put his hand over your mouth, gently moving your hand to his wrist and giving him your best doe eyes.

“Very funny,” Richie grinned, lowering his hand. “How you feeling? Alright?”

“Me? I'm feeling great,” You smiled, gently taking Richie's hand and guiding him to the stairs. “Let me show you.”

You raised a brow as Richie didn't follow you, turning back to look at him. 

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Richie nodded, clearing his throat. “I just uh..we don't have to just..” He gestured to the stairs and you couldn't stop smiling.

“So you came over to..talk?” You raised a brow with a grin. “watch TV? Have a cup of coffee?”

“Well, not..” 

“Richie,” You smiled, stepping closer to him. “Just spit it out.”

“Right,” He nodded. “Okay, I just..I really want to go upstairs but I don't want you to think I just came over for that like..I'm not that kinda guy, we can go for like a real date, see how this-”

“Richie,” You placed your hand over his mouth, raising a brow. “I know. I'm not like that, I know you're a decent guy. We got all the time in the world for dates, but right now I really need you to take me upstairs and fuck my actual brains out.”

You slowly moved your hand, smiling as Richie immediately closed the gap between you, his arms wrapping around your waist as yours wrapped around his neck. He tasted like cigarettes and whiskey and you couldn't get enough, letting out a gasp as his hands moved down and he picked you up with ease. 

You weren't sure how you had the patience to get upstairs, but the moment you got Richie into your bedroom you couldn't wait much longer, letting out a moan as he threw you onto the bed and immediately began tugging your pajamas off. 

“Fuck,” He groaned, pulling back and looking down at you. “Were you..did you have these on all night?”

“Yeah,” You murmured softly, your hands holding Richie's tie and tugging him down for a kiss. “Am I keeping them on?”

“Absolutely fucking not.”

You lifted your legs, giving Richie a preview of how wet you were, meeting his eyes as he slowly peeled off your pants, tossing them over his shoulder. 

“Waiting for an invitation?” You grinned, laying back and resting your arms by the pillows. 

“Such a pillow princess,” Richie grinned, sitting up and undoing his tie. “didn't expect it.”

“You think so?” You raised a brow, moving your hand down between your legs. “Might have to start without you if you're taking so long..”

You grinned as Richie practically tore off the rest of his clothes, letting out a soft hum as your fingers dipped into your wet warmth, reaching your other hand out to Richie.

“Come on..don't keep me waiting all night.”

“Are you always so bratty?” Richie grinned, climbing onto the bed and watching you closely.

“Sometimes,” You murmured softly, meeting Richie's eyes. “But you can talk, with that pillow princess comment,” You moved quickly, straddling Richie's waist and holding his hands above his head. 

“Maybe I should let you do all the work, for being so rude.”

“Fuck,” Richie muttered, shifting his hips a little. “just say the word and you got it..”

“That so?” You smirked softly. “Might just have to put that to the test..”

“Yes ma'am.” Richie murmured, smirking as he sat up, kissing you deeply and pushing you down onto your back as you let out an excited squeak.

In the morning you texted a picture of a sleeping Richie to your best friend, captioned ‘We're just friends’

Two weeks later you and Richie stumbled upon Sarah's laundry room and made excellent use of the washing machine.

Six months later the two of you take your girls to the concert, holding them up on your shoulders. Richie teases you for singing along and you choose not to point out his hypocrisy, as he belts out every word. He leans in to kiss you and the girls shriek excitedly, you kiss him back and feel like everything will be just fine.

[haunted-headset]

ok i know charlie and philza arent in your list of ppl you’ll write for so if this idea does not work or you dont wanna write if you dont watch sorry boys or anything then 100% understandable feel free to skip this

reader is a camera person who helps out filming the sorry boys videos, maybe helps edit them too?? and just all the fun shenanigans that entails, and the occasional goofy wink wilbur directs at you, and chillin together inbetween filming and yeah 🫶

🎥 Camera Girl (hcs) 🎥

a/n: HELLO POOKIE!!! im sorry that this is really short 😭

tags: @zuuriell @somebody-v @vibestillaxxx @ax-y10 @joviepog@themonsterunderurmom @ogelizasoot @wilburstan@smolsleepykitten@funnyreally2009@crows-death@dykepunz@aresriiots@0miamor0@defonotval@chipch0p@mazzistar16@unmellowyellowfellow@justalittlebitofchaos@thosecolorfulsheets@vopix@taylors-version-from-the-vault@aine-lasagna@merianakross@veeislost@urfav-sapphic-siren@shazbaz58-blog @wifiatthetrainstation@mcr-pr-fob@shd454@universe-friday@rqvii@idioticion@m0thza@artistphantom @ace-call-me-what-youd-like @lexx-the-gay-rubber-ducky @finleyforevermore @poraphia @radio-to-trenchcoat-demons @mysticalsoot(let me know if u don't or do wanna be tagged!!)

contains: wilbur & reader are dating, funny stuff, swearing, the Sorry Boys being Sorry

Wilbur would probs ask Tommy if one day you could be a guest in one of the videos & they could hire somebody else to film for a day

The boys would purposefully try & mess with you while you're filming. They'd try to make you laugh, Wilbur would wink at you, or Tommy would...be Tommy.

Relations with the members: Ranboo: chill buddies Tommy: chaos twins Wilbur: the cute couple that makes the others barf Philza: he has adopted you Charlie: the one who you make dirty jokes with

Ranboo would probs love your relationship with Wilbur, but the others would hate it

^^ You & the Sorry Boys have taken a lunch break. While waiting in line to take your order at a burger restaurant, Wilbur wraps his arms around your waist from behind & rests his chin on your hairline. "Aww," Ranboo says softly. Tommy & Charlie make loud barfing sounds, which causes everybody to look your way. Philza laughs hysterically at all of this.

During the editing process, Tommy would try & annoy or distract you

Wilbur would probs go to you for video ideas if they had creative blocks

[accioprocrastination]

One Day At A Time (Part 5/?)

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Summary: Hangman's fiancée is hospitalised and Jake waits for her to wake up

T/W: Anxiety, panic disorder, PTSD, POW, gun violence, hints to torture, death

Jake POV

He sits silently on a freezing cold, completely uncomfortable plastic chair by your bedside stroking the back of your hand for hours on end.

Jake's eyes are transfixed in horror as he stares at your hands - more specifically at your bleeding, bandage wrapped nails. His stomach clenches in nausea as he thinks about the fact someone has probably ripped them.

What on earth has happened to you?

How could anyone do this?

Are you mentally okay after what you've been through?

What if you don't love me anymore?

He asks himself a million questions that he cannot answer as he sits staring at what's been done to you. Every unanswered question is adding to his stress.

Jake is snapped out of his thoughts when the door handle rattles and Cyclone walks back in. He subconsciously straightens in his chair in acknowledgement.

"At ease, I don't expect you to feel inferior in a hospital." Cyclone remarks clearly feeling apprehensive by his surroundings as he hesitantly places a vase of flowers down on the windowsill.

"Have the doctors said anything to you?" Jake questions quietly, momentarily turning away from your lifeless body.

"She's stable. They're trying to wake her up." Cyclone confirms.

Jake carefully avoids touching your nails as he squeezes your hand slightly, hoping the motion will help you feel tethered enough to open your eyes.

The admiral's gaze flits between the two of you, wondering if Jake is going to speak up.

"Was it your decision?" Jake finally asks having wondered it ever since he got the call to say you were not coming home. At the time Jake practically begged Javy to find out information about what happened the day your plane went down, but the name of the admiral who made the decision to withdraw help was classified before he could know who to blame.

Cyclone is the one that called me, he knows who made that decision.

He confirms Jake's suspicions with a single nod.

"She is the best pilot I've ever worked with. I didn't expect for what happened that day to occur" Cyclone admits meeting Jake's eye line.

That's as close to an apology as I'm going to get from the man.

"Someone should've gone after them. She fucking deserved that." Jake's lip wobbles as he says the words. His brain is endlessly thinking of what you may have had to endure to look like this right now.

Jake will never admit to anyone that the rational part of his brain completely understands why the admiral would pull back the rescue effort after three other people were killed.

Your squad's relatives had the closure of their bodies - Jake never had that. Your family had a funeral with a casket that everyone knew was empty.

Jake closes his eyes in pure dread as he thinks back to that day.

"I've put through an emergency leave request on your behalf." Cyclone declares after a few minutes of silence. Jake doesn't say anything, still lost in thought.

"Have you called anyone?" Cyclone asks.

Jake shakes his head. No. He left the house in such a rush that he's fairly sure his phone must be somewhere on the side next to his house keys.

"She doesn't like being crowded when she's sick." Jake states.

The admiral nods taking that as what it was, a polite way to tell him to go away too.

*

Jake jolts awake at the sound of the door opening again. "Sorry" a nurse whispers at him.

"Don't apologise, come in." he says gesturing with one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other.

The nurse smiles slightly at him and moves around the machines to check all of your vitals.

"What time is it?" Jake groans - from the stiffness of his neck he knows he's been asleep for a fair while.

"Half four." The nurse responds checking his fob watch.

"When do you think she'll wake up?"Jake questions looking away from the note-writing nurse, back at you.

"It's different for everyone but hopefully soon." he replies.

Jake doesn't admit that he's scared for whatever you're going to say to him. Scared that there's nothing between the two of you anymore.

I don't know what I'll do if you're not the old you

But how can you be the old you after this?

"How did you two meet?" the nurse asks trying to distract Jake from his obvious nervousness at this whole situation.

He hasn't spoken the hugely exaggerated version of your meeting in years; the story he used to tell people to make them swoon before everything happened... Instead he settles for something he know will instantly shut the conversation down, "at work".

When the nurse leaves Jake is watching you on high alert again.

"I know you won't let me say this to you when you're conscious but I am so sorry I couldn't save you baby." He murmurs.

*

Reader POV -

Despite the beeping of hospital machines telling you that you're in a sterile environment, you wake up to fear and adrenaline pounding through your system.

Where am I? you mentally question, too tired to wake up.

You can hear someone snoring nearby but do not have the strength to prise your eyes open.

Who is that? That doesn't sound like Ghost.

From experience you know that you've been under some form of anaesthetic to be feeling this out of control over your body but it doesn't stop your mind racing a million miles an hour.

I have to wake up.

You groan trying to compel yourself to wake up.

Hearing your heart monitor pick up slightly, the man besides you is snapped from his slumber, instantly taking your hand.

"Take it easy sweetheart." He says rubbing your cheek. You flinch dramatically at the nickname, afraid of who you think is standing next to you.

Someone's touching me. You panic unable to force your eyes open long enough to take in your surroundings or fight back if you need to.

Oblivious to the real reasoning behind the flinch, Jake's eyes fill with tears as he removes his hand from your face petrified that he may have hurt you.

"I'm sorry sweets." He whispers carefully untangling your hands as well.

Desperate for you to talk to him, Jake watches as your eyes flicker open and closed. He holds his breath in anticipation of you finally waking up but is sorely disappointed seconds later as you're pulled back under the sleepy haze of anaesthetic.

Part 6

Masterlist

Tags:

@inthestars-underthesun

@rainy-darling

@emma8895eb

@tgmreader

@ems-alexandra

A/N: I just read this back and why is the start of this giving Gone Girl??

[exuberantocean]

Last night I was watching some of 13's run (fanfic research purposes) and thinking about the sheer amount of abuse it is implied the Doctor went through as the Timeless Child. And what struck me is that there really is such an implication of loss of power and agency and yet I think the Doctor sees themselves as having a much more active role. Like, it's clear they're more than a little scared of what they would find themselves to be if they opened that fob watch - especially given they're role in Division.

And yet all I see is coercion and resistance. The Doctor clearly attempted to flee at least once, probably much more than once given the existential of the Fugitive Doctor. Tacteun makes snide remarks about the Doctor's morality getting in the way, which I give you could just refer to their post Division days, but I really don't think it does. And finally, the Timeless Child was tortured for decades by Tecteun. How many times did they regenerate in Tecteun's lab? She killed them, again and again, just to see how regeneration worked. Literally hurt and murdered a child multiple times. They had no choice but to join Division when Tecteun decided they would.

But, you know, assuming more agency than you have, more power, more fault, is not uncommon in victims of abuse. There is a warped comfort in it, because it is so deeply disturbing to acknowledge you don't. I gives a weird sense of safety to think that it was your fault it happened so you can control the abuse in some way.

This is especially true with child abuse. Blaming the caregiver that is abusing you, undercuts the idea that they can provide for you and keep you safe and since you needs them to do that as child aren't yet capable, it's common to shift the blame to yourself. If course people are complex and much like the Doctor, most people end with complex and contradictory views iof their abusers - blaming both them and themselves.

Moreover, since the Doctor was found by Tecteun, she also has a "your not my real mother" moment where she imagines that maybe, maybe Tecteun stole her from her real mom/parents, stole her from a much different, much better life. She has no way of knowing if she had loving parents on the other side of the wormhole or if they would have been capable of retrieving her if she did.

And yet, just a short time later, the Doctor relates to Ruby, I was abandoned. I was adopted. They really have no way of knowing what happened to them at that age. The news is still new. It's unstabilizing to their sense of self at a deep level (which is part of why I think 14 regenerated into a familiar face - how often do we seek the familiar and comforting when faced with these little earthquakes?). And so they have an unstable self-narrative of their origin. That makes sense, their very understanding of who they are has been deeply fractured. They are, of course, the Doctor. We know them, but they don't know themself.

[thekidsarentalright]

It's understandable to be disappointed right now but I'm wondering if FOB even knows about the things Gabe posted?

He posted all of that to his Instagram stories back in October and hasn't posted anything since. FOB was busy getting ready for their Europe tour at that time. Patrick isn't on Instagram. Joe and Andy rarely are. Pete does get on but not as much as he used to. There's a good chance none of them saw any of that. And most adults don't go around asking their friends if they are Zionests or not.

So like, yes be a little critical, but we don't know if they know anything about Gabe's postings/thoughts.

i understand wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt, and to an extent i had a similar thought process about it. there is a possibility they are unaware of gabe’s opinions, given how rare their presence is on social media as you mentioned, and are just misinformed. it is my sincerest hope that this is the case and that they aren’t knowingly platforming a zionist and celebrating it. either way disappointing, but to very varying degrees.

however, not knowing for sure if they know or not actually makes me even more want to be critical and express disappointment (not that i think you’re trying to tell me not to, just to clarify). the only way to make any real change or educate anybody, either if they know abt gabe or not honestly, is to hold them accountable and spread awareness. not even just to fob in the hopes they’ll do better in the future (and i do hope they do), but also to other people who didn’t know gabe was an active zionist and were still supporting him, so they can be more aware as well.

[earlgreytea68]

I 100% am every bit as confused as you, about SMFS getting snubbed for the Grammys this year.

Personal opinions aside, it's their highest rated album to date, if Metacritic is anything to go by. They do just as much experimentation on this album as they did on Mania, while still sounding very THEM, which is an insane tightrope to walk. You'd think SMFS would be a shoo-in, if any album was, and I just don't get why it wasn't even nominated.

Did they really think that recognizing both Paramore AND FOB at the same time would cause the world to implode, because that would mean they think "emo" music is actually a respectable genre full of talented people?

I just, have so many questions...

I have a couple of theories. One is that people just weren't paying attention. The Lana Del Rey comment I posted was because that album did get massive Grammy love and came out on the very same day as SMFS so it was easy for SMFS to get totally lost underneath that. I remember Spotify sending me emails on that day urging me to listen to the new Lana Del Rey album, an artist i'd listened to a grand total of like sixteen times over the years lol and I never got a single email about SMFS being released. Which could have been because I already had it on repeat but I suspect it was because there was money being paid to promote the Lana Del rey album and I further suspect there was much less money behind SMFS promotionally.

The second theory is kind of connected to the first though in that I suspect being technically out of contract hurts them in this kind of promotional place like awards shows. As I understand their situation from the outside, it seems like this was a one record deal, not a long-term contract. I think that's exactly what they wanted and they're happy with it -- they have seemed and sound delighted with the freedom -- but I think it leaves them a little out in the cold around awards shows like the Grammys, which I suspect require a record label push.

I've made all of this up hahahah. It might all be wrong. But you're right that the album got strong reviews so I suspect it just got lost. And mania didn't because it was still on a long term contract and also had a number one debut (SMFS opened at number six and so didn't make as big of a splash for them). I remember watching a YouTube review of it at some point by some random guy, who even knows who it was, but he said something like "this album is really good and really interesting, I just don't know how many people are still paying attention to fall out boy." I feel like they needed a huge mainstream promotional push to get over that and they didn't get it.

But I also do not want to throw the record label under the bus because I'm also not entirely sure they care. And I mean that in all honesty. The lyric about "I must be getting old 'cuz I'm less pissed we didn't make it on your year-end best list" is a true one, I suspect. Like sure, they would love glory, who doesn't hahaha. But they made exactly the album they wanted and I think it was already bigger than they expected so it's all gravy. They didn't NEED the push -- and probably didn't ask for one -- because the fans turned out even more than I think they expected, and they were touched and delighted and I really think it's all cool.

And the album is still fantastic, of course.

(I always kind of suspected the mania nomination wasn't actually for mania anyway but just a general acknowledgement of fob still being around. That's how awards shows can be.)

[queenofsquids]

I got this "skeleton" cat at the At Home store last week and ordered an "Oz The Great and Powerful" China Doll to hybrid. I had considered the Rainbow High white & grey bodies but really like the bigger form factor.

I've taken the head off the China Doll before and it is really on there. Screws, plastic weld, extra tabs, everything. I believe the best way to get it off is unfortunately to saw directly up from under her chin, then bend or break the flaps around the neck cone. I don't think there's a way to get her head off intact.

The "skeleton" (you see how I'm being here, with the quotes lol) was held together with roughly one million tiny screws. Which is baffling but also makes it great to take apart without breaking anything! And the inside of the head is accessible! And the tail comes off in one big piece and has an embedded wire for posing!!!

The tail has a bulbous rubbery loop at the base. I drilled a hole in the doll body, then squashed the heavenly fuck out of the rubbery loop shoving it through and into the hollow torso. So the tail is just the most perfect tight mod. It poses perfectly and swivels at the base too. I was chuffed with that.

You can see how I popped a safety pin around the cone neck fob. Holds the head on no problem!

I really needed this no-stakes project. I've been beating myself up over the Popples trying to make them perfect. So this one I was like, do whatever, it will be fine, have fun.

It would be nice if I could paint her head to match the body, and maybe paint the body details black instead of baby blue. But realtalk, I have had approximately 16 migraines in the past 19 days and I'm not optimistic about any project progress. 😅

It's my understanding that migraines commonly ramp up post covid, possibly for a year or more. Please don't expect anything outta me and I'll do my best to pleasantly surprise you 😂

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically 27

JOYOUS NEWS!!! We are now seeing our first two-parter that is

A) Actually supposed to be a two-parter, and

B) Set in the same time period so we can watch them back to back like you're meant to.

It's just nice to have a bit of normalcy in this deeply stupid watch order.

Anyway: Family of Blood. We pick up where we left off. Tim, aka the boy with the fob watch from Love, Actually, opens it just slightly, which is distracting enough to the Family that Martha promptly punches Mother firmly in the solar plexus, steals her shrimp-shaped gun, and takes her hostage.

"You won't shoot!" says Son. "You're scared!"

"Yes, guns and fear are a famously winning combination, Mummy's Little Genius," says Martha, and tells the Doctor to get everyone else out.

He does not. Human Doctor is still a trembling useless wimp. Instead, Nurse Joan the Love Interest takes over, and herds everyone out.

... and then we get the first of many Very Upsetting Scenes in this episode, as the Doctor turns back to Martha, who is still holding the Family at gunpoint.

"What about you?" he asks.

And Martha visibly steels herself, doesn't look away, and says perfectly evenly, "Mr Smith, I think you need to get your lady friend to safety, don't you?"

And he leaves her.

... fuck me, this one has more emotional resonance than that time Amy got shot by her plastic fiance

ANYWAY

Martha is then menaced by a scarecrow and yet still manages to get away. To their credit, the Doctor an Joan are waiting for her outside, at least, and they all run back to the school where the Doctor gets all the school boys to unload the guns and get ready to fight in preparation for Very Upsetting Scene #2. But just before it, we get given an emotionally charged warmup that punches our hearts out the backs of our ribcages like Mortal Kombat characters, as my excellent friend Maia once put it, because as the Family gather outside with their scarecrow army, the headmaster goes out to talk to them.

It's such a good exchange and so incredibly acted and edited that I literally looked up the quote:

Headmaster: Well I warn you, the school is armed. Brother: All your little tin soldiers. But tell me sir, will they thank you? Headmaster: I don’t understand. Brother: What do you know of history, sir? What do you know of next year? Headmaster: You’re not making sense, man— Brother: 1914, sir. Because the Family has travelled far and wide looking for Mr. Smith, and oh the things we have seen. War is coming. In foreign fields, war of the whole wide world with all your boys falling down in the mud. Do you think they will thank the man who taught them it was glorious?

I literally cannot convey how well delivered both that "Tell me sir, will they thank you?" and that "Do you think they will thank the man who taught them it was glorious?" is. The little blond inbred lad who loves dragons on Game of Thrones. By god. Sweet christ does that boy deliver the hell out of those lines. My husband literally GASPED.

Meanwhile, we have what passes for a pallette cleanser in this episode - Martha is tearing the study apart looking for the watch, and Joan the nurse comes to speak to her. Martha tells her she's a doctor from the future.

"Don't be ridiculous," Joan says. "You can't be a doctor, you're a woman and black."

I mean I know I said Freema Agyeman is not... the BEST at acting. And I stand by it. But the LOOK she levels in this scene, my lord. Somehow, in spite of only saying the words "Oh, do you think?", she manages to convey the sentiment "Let me just disembowel this bitch real quick."

"Bones of the hand," Martha says, and lists them all.

"You read that in a book," says Joan.

"YES, TO PASS MY EXAMS" says Martha.

Anyway, it's enough to convince Joan that her new boyfriend is an amnesiac alien (we've all been there, sis), so she goes off to talk to the Doctor. She asks him to describe Nottingham; but he can't, other than facts. And he has the first hint of a breakdown. He does NOT want to be a Time Lord.

"But you know this is wrong," Joan says. "These are children, going to fight the Family. The Doctor wouldn't want it. Nor would John Smith."

Tim is setting up with Classic White Bully Hutchison. But he decides that he needs to do something else with the watch to help. "It's okay!" he tells Hutchison. "You and I will survive this! I've seen us in a WW1 trench in 1914!" and then runs off, as though that is remotely comforting.

Which sets us up nicely for Very Upsetting Scene #2. Outside, a truly unfeasibly large number of scarecrows has now amassed (when did the family make all these scarecrows??!?) The shooting begins, a hymn playing over the top as these weeping, sobbing children load bullets into machine guns and fight supernatural terrors...

And the Doctor, standing there with a loaded rifle, cannot bring himself to shoot a single shot.

Fucking. Harrowing.

Anyway then Daughter-of-Mine turns up and shoots the headmaster for not listening to black women or somethign IDK Martha told him to stay back, he told her to fuck off, the Daughter killed him. Seems fair. Freaks the Doctor out though so everyone retreats into the school, the Family in hot pursuit, and then it's Chaos for a bit until the Father turns up with the TARDIS.

And then we get Very Upsetting Scene #3, as the Doctor cries and begs to be allowed to stay human. A good man, with a good life, in love. This segues into Very Upsetting Scene #4, where Joan takes them to the house of the Daughter on the well-reasoned grounds that the real child who used to be the Daughter had parents who would have tried to stop their little girl from leaving, and been killed. The Doctor lashes out at Martha.

"You're his companion!" he rages. "What good are you, exactly? Why does he need you?"

It is SO fucking upsetting. Poor Martha.

Anyway then Tim turns up with the watch, so THAT becomes Very Upsetting Scene #5, as the Family start bombing the village i.e. St Ffagan's village square, and Martha is telling him to open the fucking watch, and the Doctor is now screaming and begging and pleading to be allowed to live because he doesn't want to go and become someone else. But Joan realises he has to - otherwise, the Family will consume a Time Lord, and then they'll live forever and destroy everything.

She tries to convince him. He says he wants to stay and love her, but knows he won't as the Doctor. And then they touch the watch together and so they both see the life they could have had together INCLUDING THE CHILDREN WHO NOW WON'T EXIST and fuck me we all need therapy forever. Who okayed this. Who allowed this on television. Why must David Tennant be so good at acting.

So it's a bit of a shame it's then all downhill from there tbh.

Obviously, he opens the watch, although it happens off screen, so in this watch order we have had THREE SEPARATE WATCH STORIES but still haven't seen one be opened. He blows up the Family's space ship, and then... well, it's a bit weird. Bit fairytale. He suspends each of them in time in some way so they'll be imprisoned for all eternity, including trapping the Daughter in mirrors... somehow, bit vague on the details. "He ran from us to be kind," the narration says dramatically. "To spare us the rage of a Time Lord" and whoa there Mary Sue, we're back on this bullshit.

A final scene with Joan, with upsetting exchanges like

"Could you change back?"

"Yes"

"Will you?"

"No"

It's another difficult scene, but then it ruins itself by doing the old "People here died because you came and that's your fault" thing, which is eternally boring and terrible and I wish successive showrunners would stop doing it. The Tortured Man Pain side of the Mary Sue. Fuck off.

Anyway, the Doctor and Martha hug it out back at the TARDIS, which is sweet. Tim turns up.

"I've seen the future," he declares. "And I know now what I must do."

You're very intense, Tim.

The Doctor gives him the old watch, and away they go. I hope they're off to an ice cream planet where twelve-fingered aliens give great massages. Martha needs some serious aftercare.

Flash forward. Tim and Hutchison are staggering through a WW1 trench. Tim realises it's the moment from the watch vision he saw, and makes them dive right out the way of a shell. He saves Hutchison. Then Hutchison says "I'm not going to make it."

"Oh yes you are," declares Tim. "Didn't I promise you, all those years ago?"

Tim. It was last year.

ANYWAY this episode was fucking harrowing. We've now seen what the fob watches can do! But no further plot threads I don't think, nor any resolved, so the list remains... extensive.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest.)

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole (And Nardole was “reassembled???”)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

What has happened to all these companions and where are the new ones coming from?

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

What’s With The Silence?

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Who is Captain Jack Harkness? (Is he the one who gave the companions a warning about the lone cyberman?)

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window?

What’s with the Doctor’s future involving getting shot by an astronaut?

Is Amy pregnant and why is it inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

Who did the Doctor lose to Cyber Conversion?

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What’s with the Weeping Angel statues, and why can’t you blink at them?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi.)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

What happened with Amy’s pregnancy?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

[thedreadvampy]

oh also speaking of music I was listening to Evanescence the other night and it really struck me how weird that era of goth-pop-alt music was? Like that post-9/11 period when goth and emo and pop punk and alternative were SUPER in and relatively mainstream but because the music world was really hostile and walking on eggshells because nobody wanted to get Dixie Chicksed, the stuff that was mainstream and accessible tended to be uhhhhh kind of about nothing? like SO MUCH alt music I remember getting a lot of play in the 2000s is just about mid-tier breakups. even the numetal and pop punk stuff which is like. genres made to be angry at The System in.

and it's not that those songs were BAD, obviously. like musically they're really thought through and a lot of those artists really put in the work. but ok like Evanescence. the music is sweeping. Amy Lee is putting her WHOLE PUSSY into selling the heartbreak and angst of the songs. which, of their big hits, are almost all in their entirety, 'we used to have a kind of codependent relationship and now we've broken up.'

I'm not sure this theory holds up cause like. Popular alternative music was certainly not fully apolitical. System of a Down peaked at that time. American Idiot, obviously. And bands like Disturbed and Slipknot certainly managed to find some time to talk about political repression and social alienation in between writing 1200000 songs about beating your girlfriend up and how it's Not Fair She Won't Date Me Even Though I'm Right Here, respectively.

(and to be clear. this is all music that I like. although Corey Taylor occasionally gets too whiny for me tbh)

and I legit don't know to what degree this was actually a thing, to what degree it's basically always the case that the most popular Angsty Alt Music For Teens has more to do with breakups than political unrest, and to what degree I personally was just listening to the wrong music in 2005.

(but I'm not really so much thinking of the music I liked at the time but the music that was like, what you reached for when you were naming Alternative Music - your Evanescence, HIM, Slipknot, MCR, FOB, Panic!, Green Day, Blink 182, Disturbed, Linkin Park, all the stuff a kid in eyeliner listened to. some of which I did not, I never got the hang of HIM and I think I maybe missed a trick not getting into Linkin Park bc I understand they made some good stuff but I hated Numb so much at the time, I couldn't cope with them. even though look on lyrics alone it's not a bad song. it works. whatever.)

[haunted-headset]

hi!! i have a wilbur x reader request if that’s okay ^^

what about transmasc reader feeling dysphoric so wilbur comforts them? (personally i’m genderfluid but anything transmasc would be fine with me i just want some dudely comfort for when i hate feeling feminine LOL)

or, another idea: reader coming out to wilbur as trans? like how he’d react and stuff?

i totally understand if you don’t wanna write any of this stuffs tho 🫶 anywho, i hope you’re having an amazing day/night and i just wanna say all your writing is so amazing and i really appreciate you + your blog <33

🏳️‍⚧️ Wilbur x transmasc/trans reader head canons🏳️‍⚧️

This man would be the best comforter EVER for dysphoria

He'd call you his precious baby boy & the most handsome man he's ever seen & alskfgsfhwiohfouw

^^ "Darling, I want you to look in the mirror for me, okay?" Wilbur says as he walks you over to the mirror with his arms around your waist. "Do you want to know what I see?" You nod. "I see the most handsome man on this planet. I see the most precious boy in the entire universe. I see my amazing boyfriend." He kisses your hairline.

He would probably cuddle you a lot & makes sure that if he's on calls with his friends & he talks about you that you can hear him call you his boyfriend

^^ "Yeah, so my incredibly handsome boyfriend told me today..."

He'd probably lend you some of his clothes & tell you how handsome you look in them

Wilbur's reaction to his partner coming out as trans head canons (& we're pretending he's bisexual)

He would probably be a bit surprised, but not insanely surprised. I think he would've suspected it a little bit.

This man would not give two flying fucks about it & he's be so supportive

^^ He smiles at you. "What's your name, love?" You pause & tell him the name you were thinking of. "That's a great name, darling. It suits you. & can I tell you something?" You nod. "That's a great name for a great girlfriend/boyfriend/partner."

He'd probably try & find sooooo many things to make sure you feel gender euphoric all the time. If you're trans ftm, he's buy you binders & more masculine clothes if you wanted, & if you're trans mtf he'd buy you feminine clothes & bras (with padding/stuffing) & other feminine stuff if that's what you wanted.

He would never forget your name or pronouns. Not once. He doesn't want to make his baby uncomfortable.

If someone were to mess up your name or pronouns, he'd correct them automatically

^^ "So! D/N (deadname), how are you-" "It's P/N (preferred name)," Wilbur interrupts.

tags: @vibestillaxxx@joviepog@ax-y10@themonsterunderurmom @wilburstan@smolsleepykitten@funnyreally2009@crows-death@dykepunz@aresriiots@0miamor0@defonotval@chipch0p@mazzistar16@unmellowyellowfellow@justalittlebitofchaos@thosecolorfulsheets@vopix@taylors-version-from-the-vault@aine-lasagna@merianakross@veeislost@urfav-sapphic-siren@shazbaz58-blog @wifiatthetrainstation@mcr-pr-fob@shd454@universe-friday@rqvii@idioticion@m0thza @zuuriell @somebody-v @artistphantom (let me know if u don't or do wanna be tagged!!)

a/n: OMFG. BEST. IDEA. EVER. also tysm you're so sweet <3

[souryogurt64]

Yeah I agree- liveblogging is trash.

But as a bandom ancient (2008ish-current) I feel like the reason why bandom was they way it was + it's appeal as well as simultaneously unappealing trait was that us fans didn't have a lot of info about the members of these bands we were fans of. Sure, we knew the songs and the albums and all that shit, but we didn't know very much about the people making these songs beyond very limited and super polished and edited (usually) professional interviews. We couldn't hop onto a livestream at any time to watch band guy #179412 play video games and talk about whatever stupid shit was coming to his dumbass mind. Sure, they tweeted, but it was more like "new single out! Go listen" and "new album dropping 3/29!" Not much personality.

Which has pros and cons. Now if a band member is genuinely awful (racist, homophobic, abusive, etc) they will be exposed. However, I don't want to know every dumbass thought that every person ever has had.

Also, a LOT of bandom was just straight up thirsting over these musicians and having erotic fantasies about them, which I know people have a lot of Opinions on. I, personally think it's perfectly fine and natural. However, it's hard to fantasize (through fanfic or art or just gossiping with friends like I did) when you can easily recall that stupid thing he said on a livestream or whatever.

Basically, band people used to be like blank canvases for fans to project their fantasies onto.

Liveblogging - I like 100% get the need and importance of people to post videos, talk about the setlist, and talk about the show, etc. That stuff is fun and cool and normal. But I don't understand why this entire website needs to become completely unusable for 2.5 hrs 6 nights a week to watch a grainy stream of a show thats full of like. People screaming. And people are so emotionally dependent on it and invested in it. Like it just does not make sense to me?? And like I wonder if this has to do with the high cost of concerts now meaning lots of people can't go at all??? Like I just don't get it why is this critical

2. Seeing the bands' personalities-- I honestly disagree in terms of emo bands now. I would say this is 100% true for fandoms that are like SWMRS sized and that SWMRS being on social media and livestreaming constantly negatively affected their image in a drastic way. I would also say Brendon's Periscoping negatively affected Panic drastically-- however that stopped completely in like 2018-2019. But FOB and MCR do like a very tiny fraction of the press that they did in 2013-2017 because They Old. They are also using social media way, way less.

3. I do agree there is less thirsting. I feel like there's a thirst renaissance because the like extreme beyond XXXX NC17 rated confession blogs were a STAPLE in any fandom pre-2015 and then there was like a purge. But I would say like sex RP blogs were a third of bandom in like 2014. I do feel like even though these spaces are coming back, there is a general hostility towards women's sexuality or the idea of women having sex with these band guys in them that did not used to be there. I do think people still have Opinions on it too though lol.

Also writing the last essay I read probably thousands of LJ comments from 2008, and I would say in the comments of every single LJ post there were always like capital H Hoes lusting fervently and openly and shamelessly and being egged on by "Anonymous" contributors (lol) and it felt very innocent in a way whereas now I would say all of bandom is like. Highly intricate and detailed alternate universes in which like Patrick is a cow that lays eggs and women don't exist

[ohnoproblems]

Hey, I just finished reading Peregrine Phoenix vol.1 - I adored it enough to come poke the author about it. I'm a fervid martial arts guy, and I noticed that, despite the relatively sparse description of grappling in comparison to the abundant striking, both of Mokou's barehanded fights ended with suplexes. Interestingly, she fights taurs both times. I'd love to hear more about the process behind choreographing this, particularly the process of figuring out what might and mightn't work on a quadrupedal body plan. Were you inspired by judo, wrestling, something else?

thank you so much for this ask. it's maybe the perfect question so i hope i can do it justice.

it's been about 2-2.5 years since i wrote the fight scenes in book 1, so i don't have as precise an idea anymore of my peripheral inspirations. as far as personal experience with martial arts, i don't have a whole lot - i took karate in high school at a suburban McDojo and got to... brown belt? then a whole lot of nothing. but by the time i started writing book 1, my wife's interest and appreciation of Wing Chun got me into the off-and-on habit of doing daily Si Lim Tao with her.

because of this, i'm a bit of a chameleon when it comes to my influences. i rely on media depictions a lot. i see a cool martial arts movie (like the Ip Man movies for Wing Chun, or like The Raid for Silat, etc) and i'm like "well that's cool as fuck, and mokou loves to tussle and she's lived forever so i bet she knows that." i like to give her worldly influences and i also like to give her otherworldly/larger-than-life/future influences because she's been part of this unbroken continuity of being and her knowledge and practice should reflect that. so it's things like Wing Chun and Silat, but it's also things like Lunarian CQC from the Lunar Wars, Danneskjold Pit Style from her life across the Moghra'yi, or Heaven Sundering Fist from wherever the hell you learn fake anime martial marts in the time and space between Gensokyo and Qud.

the suplex finisher is for any number of reasons. number one, there's something incredibly decisive and definitive about a suplex. number two, it's flashy as hell and i love flashy things. number three, and perhaps most critically, it gets your foe off of their feet! and when you're facing a quadruped, that's very important, that's the root of their strength! they can get twice the leverage out of the ground as you can, so the sooner you can negate that advantage, the better!

writing this series has me thinking about the ergonomics and design philosophy of centaurs more than i usually do, which, if you look at my #taurposting tag, you can probably understand is something i already think about a great deal. whenever agate fobs off mokou's interest or training offers with "i have my own techniques" i'm always like god. but actually what do those look like. how do you get gains as a centaur in a world with no gyms. one of these chapters in one of these books i'll probably go into it.

mokou's moveset in ULiL/AoCF is also a big inspiration! she's got all these great stomps and kicks and flips and nasty fire-claw punches whenever she deigns to pull her hands out of her pockets. she's not a very "honorable" fighter, she cares way more about getting to cut loose. agate's lucky she didn't catch a handful of homemade explosives to the face!

my choreography process is usually like… well i do a lot of rotating these gals in my mind and seeing what would be the coolest thing for them to do, the most sensible thing for them to do, the most emotionally or thematically resonant thing for them to do, the best nod to that dope move in the martial arts flick i just watched, etc, and then whatever i settle on i try to depict as clearly as i can. then if there's room for textual flourishes i'll spruce it up some.

Judo wasn't really a direct influence over book 1's fight scenes - i think the first judo-centric martial arts film i've seen was Sanshiro Sugata (1943), and i saw that one for the first time in may of 2022, too late to influence book 1. hilarious movie for fight choreography btw, he just fucking shuffles up and GETS them and then they fly across the room and almost die and it keeps happening. beautiful.

that said, there's some tussles coming up in book 2 that give a nod to Judo! this is because i've been getting way into Sumo lately and Judo has a good playbook to help in Sumo bouts. also Judo is a great style for someone who is too depressed to regularly keep herself in peak condition, because a lot of it is about putting what force you have to best use, and using your enemy's force against them. Wing Chun is also good for folks who aren't in the best shape, so that's another of my justifications as to why she talks that one up.

and finally, caves of qud as a game is one that has sadly underdeveloped (though not nonexistent!) barehand combat support, so there's a bit less inspiration i can pull directly from the game. mokou's new in town anyway, so she hasn't had a chance to soak in the styles regardless. i'm gonna take this opportunity to plug the Qud-Fu - Mixed Martial Arts Skills mod which i keep meaning to install and play around with but so far haven't. but if i do it strikes me as one very likely to show up in the fic XD

thank you again and i hope this gave you better insight!

[a-faggot-with-opinions]

Unlike with most of my other posts, there isn't really a point or an argument to be made with this post. I kind of just wanted to talk about a lot of things and there's no better way to do it than to just make a post on the "talk about a lot of things" website. If you want to hear my thoughts about GNC, gay, disabled, and ND transmasc visibility at a very young age in the society we live in, you should probably read this post.

So you always hear stories about straight/male attracted transfems being visibly transfem or fem at a young age (like around 3-5 years old), and GNC cis gay men being fem from very young too, and maybe less so masc lesbians and female attracted trans men being visibly GNC around 3-5 years old, but I wanted to talk about how trans gay men may present when they are young before they can understand what being trans actually is. There are also definitely conversations to be had about trans lesbians too, but as I'm neither transfem nor a lesbian, I don't feel qualified to speak on their behalf. If you're a trans lesbian, feel free to reply to this post or make your own post about your experiences.

My experience having been a young transmasc gay person who didn't know he was transmasc or gay is pretty unique in that it's rarely talked about in media, but I have spoken to other transmasc achilleans about it and it seems to be decently common, but not universal, among us.

I was a moderately-visible neurodivergent and disabled (at the time not physically disabled) girl living in a non-USAmerican country. For the first five years of my life I would refuse to wear anything except skirts and dresses because they were neat and I liked them. However, around the age of five I stopped wearing skirts and would refuse to wear them at all for years until I discovered that I wasn't cis. No one knew at the time why I stopped wearing them. In my very early years of school I would have been considered a "tomboy" but as I got older the label started feeling weirder because I was not a lesbian. I had very stereotypical male interests (math, science, computer programming, etc) and presented as masculine but I was not attracted to women.

For many years after I moved to USAmerica I identified as bi despite not being attracted to women. I sort of tricked myself into thinking that I was in order to validate my gender weirdness. At the time I was very socially isolated, too—I would get bullied often for being too masc but also too fem to be a "real man," for being neurodivergent, and for appearing too gay. It's almost like my bullies knew that I was trans and gay before I did. Something about my mannerisms showed them I was trans even though at the time I had long hair and would dress fem (still, no skirts).

Because society shoved it down my young, egg throat that gender = presentation and that trans people must be gender conforming, I ended up convincing myself again that I was just a fem cis woman. I think what really made me feel comfortable with myself again was discovering FOB and developing it as a special interest very soon after that. My only sense of gender then was sexuality, and I knew I was really into men, so I convinced myself again that my femininity made me female because that's what men are attracted to.

Fast forward to when young, egg me started reading fanfiction. I would read everything but I started with x reader fic. Though I enjoyed the fics I always had felt like something was wrong. Fast forward to when I discovered gay, M/M fic. Something about it felt so right, especially fic where I could imagine myself being a feminine guy with a more masculine guy. I think that is when I realized that gender doesn't have to equal presentation.

What I realize now looking back is that egg me was extremely uncomfortable with a "biologically female" body. I should be allowed to be fem and attracted to men while in a male body, and I should be able to do that even if it's not a body I was born with. And this realization made all of my past struggles with gender make sense.

As I said at the beginning, there isn't really a point to this post, but if you found it interesting or relatable, feel free to add anything you'd like! I love my trans siblings :3