#you just had to go and pick a top tier forever favorite character of all time

[your-talos-is-problematic]

Thank you @skyrim-forever for the tag! Here’s a WIP I started after finishing BG3- I really like my Tav’s ending of [LIGHT BG3 ENDING SPOILERS] being able to teach magic with Gale. I’m not going to lie, I don’t really like the setup for this one and probably won’t finish it- I’ll definitely write stuff about the two of them but not with this premise. Too many new characters I think. Also if anyone wants to send me writing prompts with my TES ocs or my Tav I would be very grateful :P

Tagging @trickstarbrave @notcallherbirdie @jinjieee @katastronoot @throughtrialbyfire and anyone else who wants to join!

———————————————————————— Dear Dean,

We sincerely apologize for the incident that occurred in Illusion class two days ago. We understand that these actions do not reflect the principles of the school, and will take care to ensure that this does not happen again.

Sincerely,

Professor Dekarios

Professor “Tragedy” (Tilia of Tragedy)

Two Days Before

“Waterdeep.” Gale smiled, staring out the window. “The greatest city on the Sword Coast.”

“Clearly. It’s one of the three my family cycles between.”

He I looked up at where I was sitting cross-legged on his desk. “Explain?”

I sighed. “My dad’s family originally started in Baldur’s Gate, but moved to Elturel about five generations before my father because there were more tieflings there. My mom’s family came from Waterdeep, but moved to Baldur’s Gate…” I frowned. “At some point, I don’t know. And then my mom moved to Elturel to be with my dad. Now they both live here.”

Gale looked puzzled, but nodded. “You, of course, have lived in all three.”

I shrugged. “I’m just special.” I lazily swished my tail over his desk, dangerously close to some potion bottles. I turned my head to read off of his lesson plan. “Hells, wizards have to take everything so slow. You really need to work your way up to three Scorching Ray projectiles?”

“Everyone has to start somewhere, Tilia.”

I pouted, resting a cheek in my hand. “Guess that’s true. I started with no scales on my forehead and a much smaller Fireball radius.”

Gale started to facepalm, but seemed to notice something behind me and looked up. “We have a visitor! Welcome to office hours, Kaliah.”

I turned. I’d seen Kaliah Silentfield in class before- a small, dark-skinned high elf with a talent for written assignments and a fear of fire. Opposite of myself, basically. She was a pretty quiet student, which was a bit of a relief. Some of Gale’s protégés were quite loud casters.

She smiled, looking nervous. “Hello.”

“What do you need?” Gale crossed the room to his desk, side-eyeing my position atop it. I unfolded my legs and slid off the side.

She walked over to the first row of benches and set her bag down on the floor. “One second, please. I need to wait for someone.” She sat down, looking anxious.

While we were waiting, I spied a stray tressym hair on Gale’s shoulder. I noticed a rush of movement in my peripheral vision while leaning over to pick it off. Another student stood in the hallway. I waved them in.

“Hello!” I said with a smile. Now, professors aren’t supposed to have favorite students, but Deo (a shortened version of his much more tiefling-y name, Devotion) was my favorite student. He had the unnecessary confidence of a sorcerer, and the unnerving blue and black eyes of a good old tiefling. There weren’t a lot of students who would understand my random interjections in Infernal, so he was a welcome sight in the classroom. “Two students in one office hour, wow. Normally this place is deserted when you’re not in class.” Kaliah smiled. Deo didn’t. He looked nervous, maybe even angry.

“You’re here, Kali.” He spoke to her without looking in her direction. Weird, because they were usually both very friendly.

Gale looked wary at the Mephistopheles tiefling’s appearance. He swallowed. “Professor Tragedy, can I speak to you privately?”

I nodded, but raised my eyebrows. He looked around for somewhere to go, and eventually just walked to the top of the tiered student seating. I unrolled my wings and floated to meet him- unnecessary, but fun.

“This is bad, Tilia,” he whispered. “Really bad.”

I sat on a desk. “Absolute-level bad?” I mocked.

“Tilia!”

“Sorry.”

“Kaliah and Deo used to date. About a year ago. I’m not aware of the exact circumstances, but apparently-“ he paused for dramatic effect- “it was not good.”

“Have you been gossiping with students?” I intensified my whispering in mock disgust. 

“Now is not the time, Tilia!” He was a bit loud, and Kaliah looked up, concerned. He lowered his voice to a whisper again. “If the two of them are here at the same time, intentionally, together- something is very, very wrong.”

I twisted a strand of green hair in my hand.“Can we just… ask them?”

“Fine. But keep your guard up. We don’t know what we’re dealing with here.”

“Sure.” I flew back down to the desk, then waited for Gale to walk back down.. “Sorry. We just can’t discuss essay grades in front of students.”

“That is a much better lie than I would have thought of,” Gale whispered. It was actually a half-truth, not a lie, but I can forgive wizards for being uneducated in speechcraft. He smiled and turned to the students, who were now sitting at opposite ends of the bench. “What’s the cause for this visit?” 

Kaliah stared at the blackboard behind us, like she was waiting for Deo to begin. Deo haughtily inspected his tail, glancing at her over his shoulder. Neither of them spoke for an annoying length of time.

I ran a hand through my bangs. “Class is in an hour, kids. If you’re not going to talk, can you at least help set up?” Kaliah seemed to consider the offer and eyed the spell components stacked on the bench next to them. Finally, Deo opened his mouth.

“There’s a… situation with the school staff.” Hells. This better not get dicey. I’m barely an actual hire. “Can we close the door?”

I could see Gale wince as he turned to remove the doorstop. “Issues with professors are supposed to go to them or to the dean.”

Kaliah finally piped up. “This is a… different matter. One the two of you would know more about than the dean.”

I ran through the possibilities in my head. Illithids, Baldur’s Gate, possibly devils, ideally fashion sense. “Nothing dangerous, I hope?”

“I hate to disappoint you, Professor Tragedy, but yes.” Deo was dramatic in his delivery. “We think Professor Urilath is a Bhallist. Or replaced with one.” Professor Urilath- I couldn’t recall his first name, but I knew he was a sea elf and an Evocation wizard.

I let the fury of Avernus into my sigh, dramatically plopping onto the floor. Both students looked concerned. Gale laughed at me. “Are we talking ‘might whisper a prayer to the Murder Lord on occasion’ or full invisibility-loving assassin?”

Deo laughed. “Do you meet a lot of causal Bhaalists, Professor?”

I pouted. “No. But I’d like them better than the invisible ones.”

“That’s a very serious accusation, students. What’s your evidence?” Gale sounded genuinely worried. I probably should have been, too. 

Kaliah lightly coughed. “Right. We- I,” with a sideways glance at Deo, “understand the gravity of this situation. And we do have evidence, though it’s all, unfortunately, hearsay-“

Deo cut in. “It’s a dark day in Waterdeep, and Kali and I are heading to our midnight studying. In separate directions, of course.” He held up a hand with a flourish as if to block Kaliah from his view. “All seems to be well, but when we’re passing by the sea elf’s room we hear something strange. A voice- low and raspier even than the ancient professor’s.” Gale rolled his eyes. I wondered if Deo talked about everyone like this behind their back. “Said something about ‘tomorrow’s sunset.’ Today’s, now. Then Kali-“

Kaliah sighed and interrupted. “I swear I saw his hand on the desk and it was white. Like the doppelgängers you described seeing, back in Baldur’s Gate.”

“Sounds legitimate. And time-limited,” I said.  I grabbed a pen and flipped over Gale’s lesson plan to take notes on the back. “Gale, what’s the university’s policy on impromptu investigations?”

“They’re not exactly recommended.” He winced. “But if the circumstances call for one…”

I smiled. “Any chance evocation has the same lunch period as us?”

-

Gale and Tilia inspect the guy’s room and find a bloody rabbit in one of his desk drawers

“Any chance this is just a spell component?

“With this carelessness of storage? I hope not. And if it were intended for use in a spell, it’d be for necromancy. Not evocation.”

-

Gale stared anxiously at the red stain. “Let’s all just be very careful with Professor Tragedy’s blood, yes? To avoid any untimely explosions?”

[tmnt-tychou]

Hi again!!! 😄 congrats on reaching your milestone!! That’s so cool!

This has been a question I’ve been wanting to ask, mostly cuz I’m curious! If you had to rank your personal favorite iterations of the TMNT based on characters and story, which would rank higher in your opinion? Bayverse turtles can also count!! 😁

Thanks again, and congrats!!! 🎉

I had to marinate on this. It's very hard to pick favorites when there's so many good versions to choose from. And these are just personal favorites, not a hard line on which show/movie is the best ever. No need to tell me what's what if anyone sees this list and disagrees. This is just my personal list.

I think my absolute top tier is still the 2003 version. This is largely due to the fact that this series was allowed to cover all the story lines that it wanted. Granted, not every episode is gold, but it really took advantage of all the things you can do in a TMNT universe and very much set a precedent of other versions to follow. (I do not count Fast Forward and Back to the Sewers in this.)

Rise of the TMNT is second. I think it had the capacity to surpass 2003, but it wasn't afforded the opportunity. With how much world-building and new ground it covered with only a season and a half, I can't even imagine what we would have had with a full five seasons or so if it had been allowed to continue.

Bayverse is my third favorite. Not necessarily because I think it's the "best", but because it's a lot of fun to play in. Some fans take Bayverse very seriously. I just can't. It's my anything-goes universe. I reserve a bit of respect for the other universes, but with Bayverse, I can do whatever dumb shit I want. I can make the dialog as crass as I want, I can explore more mature themes that I otherwise wouldn't put in a TMNT universe. I dunno, it's just stupid and fun. Also, very big turtles. I can't get enough.

Next is the 90's movies trilogy. The 2nd and 3rd are just stupid fun and very enjoyable. The first one, I think is still the best movie script to date and it too set a precedent for future TMNT iterations, including 2003.

I'll sneak in some comics here. "The Last Ronin" is a great read, if sad. Though not as rough of a read as I anticipated. And I really adored the TMNT/Power Rangers second crossover. (I have not read the first.) Of course, the art is AMAZING, but the script was great, too. I don't know a lot about PRs, but I could mostly follow along. And the Raphael/Casey bromance in this was SO GOOD.

Next, I would put the first 5 episodes of the 80's cartoon here. Yes, the show got dumb. They were on for like 10 seasons. But the first five episodes are pretty solid and a really good story. If you haven't seen the 80's cartoon and are overwhelmed with the sheer amount of episodes there are, just watch the first five. That's all you need.

I guess 2012 will go here. It's not my favorite series, though I know it's some fans' absolute true love TMNT iteration. I thought the first season was (mostly) pretty solid and I was really into it when it first came out, but by the end it was just the hottest of messes. Are there some fantastic episodes? Yes. Is this one of the best Splinters we've ever had? Also yes. Are the turtles' designs absolutely freaking adorable? Of course. Is that enough to carry this series for me? Unfortunately, no. This show is one big garbage fire and I didn't even watch most of the last season. Though I did catch that incredibly off-putting last episode.

Turtles Forever goes here. It was a great idea for a movie and I would have put it higher up, but I just watched it recently. It's actually kind of mean-spirited to other iterations, specifically the 80's version. So it goes lower on the scale for me.

The 2007 movie is next. Terrible script. So-so character designs. Some fantastic scenes. Probably one of the best Raphaels we've had.

Bottom tier stuff: Fast Forward, Back to the Sewers, a lot of the 80's show. The Next Mutation.

[cameliawrites]

1,4, 18

(answering this ask post)

Hi friend!!

1: What is the first fandom you were ever a part of?

Hmmm, this is kind of hard to answer, because, like, what is a fandom? What is being part of a fandom? Six of Crows is the only fandom I've ever written fanfiction for, but I was a childhood nerd so I read all the popular fantasy books - Lord of the Rings, Percy Jackson, HP, Twilight, etc. - and started reading fanfiction in middle school, probably? I've also been a lifelong Star Wars fan, because my parents had the original trilogy on DVD and we had one of those shitty little car-DVD players in my mom's minivan, so my sibling and I would watch them on road trips. :)

4: Pairing that makes no sense to you?

I mean, I feel like it might be too easy an answer, but Darklina, lol. No comment necessary, I think.

18: All-time favorite fanfic?

THIS IS SO HARD. THIS IS SO SO HARD.

Okay, I have to at least list a few of them - gosh this is so much pressure - um - (obviously these are all kanej lol):

to be lost and found (and lost and found again) by halfahint, which is a Vietnam War AU and is so obscenely good???? I sobbed at the ending the first time I read it because it made me feel just as moved as the end of Crooked Kingdom makes me feel, which is a very very high bar to cross.

all in good time by terribletruths, which is post-ROW and just feels like canonical kanej to me. The humor and the tenderness and the hope are all there. I always return to this one. Always always always.

the air you breathe by alltheworldsinmyhead, because kanej daughter is just something that can be so personal... Something about the simple, sweet nostalgia and melancholy in this fic just speaks to me. I could live in this scene forever.

ebb and flood by arbitrarily. This fic is poetry. P O E T R Y.

Between the Lightning-Bug and the Lightning by oneofthewednesdays, because I love Kaz interacting with Mama & Papa Ghafa so much. This whole series is so good - every single fic in it is top-tier.

Homeland by unfortunate17, which is THE "kanej go back to Lij" fic for me. This is THE ONE. I love revisiting this fic.

My Dearest Inej by A_nonnie_mouse. This is my comfort fic. Shh. Don't tell the others. It's just for me. It's my special treat when I need a pick-me-up.

The Last Songbird by Frick6101719, which is an AU where Jordie lives and Kaz works for the Dime Lions and Inej continues to work in the Menagerie. It's dark and harsh and moody and gut-wrenching, yet, at times, light and humorous and hopeful...it makes me FEEL THINGS. I devoured every single chapter as it was posted, and I absolutely couldn't put it down.

The Strangeness of Home by insignificant457, which is THE "Inej returns to the Suli caravan" fic for me. The sequel fic might be even better...I love it so much. I love Inej so much as a character, and this fic does her justice.

I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm by sarathedreamer, because the emotional hurt/comfort is !!!!!!!! And I can't lie, I love a "huddling for warmth" trope fic. It just hits different.

don't let it burn, don't let it fade by apropensityforcharm, which is THE kanej sickfic for me. The ending is just such great emotional payoff. Kaz is down so bad for Inej and I eat it up.

Okay, I have to admit that I am SUPER impressed with myself for keeping this list as short as I did. Which sounds insane. But. There we are.

[butcharyastark]

Speaking of jcs, can I have a rating of the musicals/ different versions?

HOWDY, IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

keep in mind ive only watched a handful of recordings or productions compared to other ppl but i do have Opinions on the ones ive watched. [cracks knuckles] so:

1. biased maybe because i just watched it but the 50th anniversary arena tour (circa early 2023, there have been other castings last year ik but this year's one is the one i love). i had the chance to go see it bc it was in my state this month and its the latest one i've watched but it instantly blew away all the other versions i've seen. just... the great singing of 1996 london cast and great acting of 1973 movie and creative staging like the 2018 live in concert.... it had everything and there was not a single ball dropped or a single bad or even meh actor or song or artistic decision. i am usually not one to rec ppl to go buy a ticket to an event but seeing it was the best intro to musical theater or live performances i could have ever had and AHHHHHH. sm details of this will stay in my mind forever re: jcs i can't pick one thing to deacribe bc it's Everything and i'd be here for two hours if i tried. it has my FAVORITE ending of any jcs production and idk if any other production will compare to the high intensity emotions and poetics and symbolism combined with amazing singing like this one.

2. have to go with 1996 london cast recording. i havent seen it and idk if there are even any bootleg recordings of it, but the album is The jcs album i relisten to. fucking A+++. again, maybe i'm biased bc this was my first full jcs album (as opposed to random songs), but idk if anything else but the 1973 movie studio recording album can compare purely musically to me. i love how you can HEAR the acting in the emotional singing while also not sacrificing the singing itself (looking at you 2000 movie judas), and idk i feel like it so clearly tells the story in the tone even without being able to see it, and that's fantastic. every other jcs production in terms of singing and audible acting gets compared to this one, for me. this is the one i hear in my head when i remember or mentally sing the lyrics.

3. 1973 movie. carl anderson. first official filmed jcs production. 70's outfits. meta narrative. do i need to say anything else? this was my second jcs version i consumed when i Got Into It and man im glad it was. when i first watched it, it seemed kinda just alright (probably bc im not a huge fan of movies from the 70's or 80's), but the further time goes on the more i realize this is kinda just The jcs. the classic jcs. i said 1996 london cast recording is what i compare everything else to musically, but i feel like this version is the one that every other version has to live up to. simple question: is your jcs production better than carl anderson painfully crying out "he won't listen to me!" on a mountain in the desert in a fringe outfit as jesus steps out of a tour bus, yes or no? and most of the time the answer is no.

i'm not a huge fan of older movies but the acting and music in this is top tier, the costuming is fun most of the time, the sets are neat, and the underlying metanarrative about an acting group performing jcs inuniverse for a film or smth is rlly interesting. it's the only other jcs album i have saved in my music folder besides the 1996 london cast recording. 9/10

also as a judas fan this is also the judas i compare every other judas to bc... goddamn carl anderson covers every base. desperation and anger and righteousness and tenderness and pain and bitterness and longing.... he has the range. and honestly it's got my favorite version of Superstar so far. i don't think anyone else has topped carl anderson's version yet.

4. swedish arena tour (idr the year). amazing casting, AMAZING acting, fucking incredible costumes, great singing. the only reason it's this far down this list is bc i prefer other character interpretations, but like, the appeal of bisexual vampy switch jesus who flirts with most of the apostles inbetween his main love interests of biker milf mary magdalene and legolas-in-a-mesh-shirt judas... simply cannot be understated. pretty much every artistic decision is 7 or higher out of 10. it's a very consistently good production, and a very gay one. i like the swedish translated lyrics also.

5. 2000 movie. i think everyone knows by now how bad this one is but it's so campy and jcs is inherently ridiculous as both the appeal and the concept that it loops back around to being good. it's not my fave version but it was my third jcs version and it was honestlly rlly fun to watch. what it lacks in singing, it makes up for in acting. i think Heaven On Their Minds, Everything's Alright, This Jesus Must Die, The Last Supper, and Superstar are the numbers that shine here. i think this movie is actually my favorite versions of everything's alright and this jesus must die. i really like the symbolism they try to use in this one. ik i said i genuinely think the acting makes up for the singing, but this might be higher if judas actually SANG. or if pilate was less sympathetic bc i actually hate this pilate djdjfj this version gets points for being much less antisemitic than other jcs productions with the priests, and then immediately loses them by being noticibly more racist than others in the temple. also my favorite peter is in this one. his acting in the last supper is like 25% of my enjoyment of this version.

6. 2018 live concert. full disclosure, i haven't finished this one yet, but i love it so far. i love the outfits and the staging and the energy and casting. this singing is not my favorite and i'm genuinely not sure if john legend knows how to act or if they just cast him bc he's john legend (i'll find out in the second half ig bc i also didn't like the acting of the 50th anniversary tour jesus in the first half and THEN--) but judas does a good enough version of heaven on their minds which is my main criteria for judging a jcs production in personal likes and i do Love the meta themes of casting a real superstar singer as jesus christ given the themes of the musical. i like the dynamics between judas and mary in this one. i think judas is in the closet in this one which is very sad but his outfits absolutely make up for it. it is a spectacle and a half and i'm enjoying it so far. it might get bumped up to #5 depending on how the second half goes.

7. original concept album. i know it's very weird putting the origin of the whole thing at the bottom, but that's not because it's bad, it's just not smth i'm in love with as a whole. i do need to relisten to it--actually i will do that today--but it was really good the first time i heard it, i'm just not a fan of the sound of early rock and prefer the way various versions adapt the music in progressively more modern times. objectively talented singing tho and heaven on their minds goes OFF. i may have more takes after relistening, but that's it rn.

8. i've listened to a bunch of other tidbits of assorted performances, mostly judas solos, bc as i said, i judge a jcs production by its heaven on their minds performance and i went scouring through classic and modern versions of that at one point. this is not part of the proper ranking bc i haven't listened to them in full, but i wanted to mention them here at the end. if anyone wants a list of my fave recs of that to look into:

original mexican cast (1975)

original japanese cast (1976)

mexican revival cast (1984)

original russian cast (1992)

original czech cast (1994)

jesus christ surferstar (2003)

all female jcs recording (2022)

most of these albums can be found just uploaded on youtube or even spotify which is very cool, please check them out, i had fun skipping thru them.

and uhhhh there's all the versions i've watched in full, or mostly watched, and a few of the ones i've done neither! ik this is very long (longer than i intended) but i hope this is what u were looking for and was entertaining or helpful!!

[loisfreakinglane]

sansa stark

W O W WOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OKAY YOU ASKED FOR IT

I’M HERE TO RAMBLE NONSENSICALLY

favorite thing about them

god literally everything how do you expect me to choose. okay okay okay for today i’m gonna kind of maybe cheat and say that my favorite thing about her is being inside her brain. i love her point of view more than anything else in the whole series. how she thinks, how she grows and what she believes, the things she chooses to say and the things she keeps to herself. her tiny rebellions maintained behind a wall of courtesy, her quiet courage. and then an added layer of snarkiness and flirtatious manipulation when she’s alayne stone.

least favorite thing about them

i could say her naivete and her strict adherence to social protocols, because of how that ruined her childhood relationships with arya and jon, but i can’t even consider those least favorite things because i LOVE those parts of her, I love that she’s had such a huge character arc. that she’s not a perfect person, that she had to grow and learn and UNlearn a lot of things

favorite line

WELL I CAN’T STOP AT ONE OBVIOUSLY

“All it would take was a shove, she told herself. He was standing right there, right there, smirking at her with those fat wormlips. You could do it, she told herself. You could. Do it right now. It wouldn’t even matter if she went over with him. It wouldn’t matter at all.”

“They are children, Sansa thought. They are silly little girls, even Elinor. They’ve never seen a battle, they’ve never seen a man die, they know nothing. Their dreams were full of songs and stories, the way hers had been before Joffrey cut her father’s head off. Sansa pitied them. Sansa envied them.”

“I could close my eyes. The mule knows the way, he has no need of me. But that seemed more something Sansa would have done, that frightened girl. Alayne was older, and bastard brave.”

“She wondered where this courage had come from, to speak to him so frankly. From Winterfell, she thought. I am stronger within the walls of Winterfell.”

“She drew the knife and held it before her with both hands. “Are you going to stab me?” Dontos asked. “I will,” she said. “Tell me who sent you.””

“I hope you joust better than you talk. […] Should we ever wed, you’ll have to send Saffron back to her father. I’ll be all the spice you’ll want.”

and a show only line tragically cut from the final product? “I don’t know any songs. Not anymore.” I fucking LOVE that change, from her singing a song for the hound out of terror to her saying that instead. I think it both reflects that she is a bit older than in the book but also another way they chose to externalize some of her inner self

brOTP

GOD HOW TO PICK BC LIKE SO MANY PEOPLE but okay so ALWAYS it’s arya and jon and bran and margaery

show specific? brienne and theon and shae!!!

book specific? myranda and mya and jeyne

OTP

i’m crossing my fingers tormunds daughter show up and one is spectacularly gay but yeah basically that’s where i’m at now YES I KNOW SHES MARRIED I DON’T CARE. (i forgot actually sorry but i do like the idea of sansa and a wildling girl) or bring back hannah john kamens character ornela? she and sansa would be SO PRETTY TOGETHER. in another life i could have hoped harry hardyng would fall deeply madly in love with her and they’d have a legit partnership esp after she was revealed as sansa stark and she was soft with his bastard children in a way she never thought she’d be as a child bc she knows better now and he’d be her handsome trophy husband who’s kind of a snarky asshole but head over heels for her. ALAS HE DOES NOT EXIST IN SHOWVERSE so ig that means either he’s a ramsay-type asshole who treats her like garbage and she must escape him or he’s completely irrelevant to the future.

nOTP

i’m not personally here for any of the sansa/old men ships floating about. subverting her character doesn’t have to mean she winds up with an ugly old dude she’d never have wanted in season 1. she can still not want them without that rendering her character development void or lacking in some way

sidenote i wish this section had a fOETP bc i’m obsessed with her and cerseis relationship forever but that doesn’t fit into brotp otp or notp so i’m making an addendum

random headcanon

she bi dude

unpopular opinion

show-wise? i am both angry we lost her vale plot and that she was swapped out with jeyne for the bolton disaster show, but if i had to live with that then i’m glad we got her reunion with jon and her taking back the north. i’m mad at the journey s5 took but not the places it brought us to in s6, if that makes sense. BOOKWISE? ummm i don’t ship her with any ugly old men. also she’s one of the most amazing characters in the whole series (i mean the BEST to me personally) and her chapters are so unbelievably beautiful and lyrical and i could read them forever. also… the kingsroad was not that deep it was just a fustercluck and the only thing we don’t dissect enough was how cersei had so much time to manipulate her into keeping her mouth shut

song i associate with them

no song but here’s a fanvid rec :) i love watching this on my phone at 3 am and sobbing into my dog

favorite picture of them

[meat--grindr]

Opinions on Malignant? 👀

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

I took me forever to get around to this one, but holy fucking shit!! The camera work, the atmosphere, the acting (Anabelle Wallis picked me up, dropped me into a pringles can and shook me around! Her performance was stunning!!), the TWIST!! HOLY MACKREL!

No spoilers (aside from the villain's name if you count that) but I'm gonna put my longer thoughts under a cut to cut down on your scrolling. We're respectful in this house.

Physicality is something I really love about acting, especially in horror movies. I love when people and creatures move and you just go 'EW!! HOLY FUCK WHY ARE THEY DOING THAT!' And it was utilized to the fullest extent here with our villain Gabriel (which is where I love to see it the most, honestly) Everything from the way he crawled about like a scary little demon to the way his shoulders moved when he breathed had me HANGING off of my seat. The way he moved was certainly not something I'd ever seen before. When you stop and thing about it the concept it a little silly, but it never looks or feels as silly as it should thanks to some top tier choreography and camera work! Wowza!

The twist was partially spoiled for me on here before I got to see it, which sucked, but as it turned out, I really didn't know the half of it and I still startled yelling when the full reveal came out. And I think even if I did have the whole thing spoiled it still would have been scary and fun. That being said, watch this shit as blind as you can, and if you can't do that and know the twist, find someone who doesn't and watch it with them just to see their expression. I'm sure it'll be worth it.

I also think they did a really good job of balancing the really tragic elements of this story with the scary ones. It didn't go fully down the Hereditary/Midsommar grief and bad choices are all consuming and inescapable route, and doesn't just ignore that trauma has an impact on people. Sometimes I find characters in movies will throw all their emotions out at the audience in a single scene to show they are feeling a certain way, or that something that happened to them impacted them, then we don't ever see it impacting them again. It's like we're just supposed to remember that they feel that way even when they take actions that would suggest otherwise. But I didn't think this was true in this film. Maddie's emotional state seemed to build upon itself like real a real person's. It was really nice to see.

I know a lot of people were not impressed with this one, but James Wan had me utterly enthralled the whole way through not gonna lie! It wasn't at all what I thought it was going to be because I (sort of on purpose) only saw one promo for it--I thought it was going to be more of a girl falls victim to the matrix-esque hellscape of her dreams type situation, which it really, really isn't. That would have been really cool, but I cannot say I was disappointed to be wrong.

But I think my favourite thing about this film is the fact that it doesn't take itself super seriously. The concept is balls to the wall crazy and though the tone of the movie is over-all serious, you can tell the people had a ton of fun making it and that they all really believed in the project. It just has a ton of heart <3

This movie is a fucking trip and it is definitely an instant favourite!

[army-of-mai-lovers]

ATLA Fic Recs :))))))

Ok no one asked for this but I’m doing it anyway. In honor of me reaching 100 kudos on a fic for the first time, I’m doing fic recs! 

1. Spirits Help Us, There’s Two of Them by hopepunk on ao3 (not sure if they have a tumblr) ngl if I had to pick a favorite zukka oneshot at gunpoint this is probably the one I’d pick. Sokka and Zuko being weird together is just so amazingly satisfying and I love it so so much. I can barely understand what they’re talking about most of the fic but also somehow I can?? It’s weird. I love being let into their little world like this. 

2. The Family You Choose by TunaFishChris on ao3 (again, not sure if they have a tumblr) While I do love a good romantic soulmate au, let’s be honest, platonic found family ones are a million times better. I legit think about this fic all the time. Platonic gaang bonding? check. The gaang finds out about Zuko’s scar? check. A BACKSTORY FOR SUKI OUTSIDE OF HER RELATIONSHIP WITH SOKKA???? CHECK. CHECK. ALL THE WAY CHECK. I also just really love how the author develops the soulmate stuff? It’s really original (as far as I know anyway) and just really compelling. I could literally go on forever about this fic I’m OBSESSED with it. 

3. spark from a flame: courtyard rights and other tales by @pianjeong this would be a woefully incomplete list if it did not include a killer rarepair fic and this one is the literal best. I’m not going to lie, of the three rarepairs I ship (bakoda, yueki, jetko-kinda, and pianjeong), pianjeong was the one that took the longest for me to really fully ship. I liked it fine, but I didn’t really *see* it until I read this fic. It’s so soft??? Like so soft???? Jeong Jeong is also a shy icon we stan for life. The writing in this is so so pretty, and ugh the chemistry,,,,, the tension,,,,, also Jeong Jeong knowing everybody’s names and being super polite to everyone? I love him. Piandao not being impressed by someone’s celebrity? I love him. this is truly beautiful, top-tier content. 

4. paint it red, they’ll cover it up anyway by @bluberry-spicehead this fic is the reason I ship jetko-kinda. the whole kindergarten au is simply top-tier, but the jetko angle--really exploring the dynamics of it and dedicating time to watching both of them grow better--is really amazing. Plus the first chapter was from Smellerbee’s perspective and like any self-respecting ATLA Jet not-quite-apologist-but-I-do-believe-he-deserved-better I ADORE SMELLERBEE. The writing style is also super interesting and dynamic and I really just love it a lot. 

5. where we go for each other, we go together by @herglowinggirl the way I SOBBED reading this fic. the way I felt ALL THE EMOTIONS. Oh my goodness. Rangi is such a good character????? Kyoshi is such a good character???? Them???? Parenting???? You know how when you watched Lady Bird it reminded you so precisely of your exact relationship with your mother even though you’re not a cishet white girl living in Sacramento? This is that. I’m never going to be the Avatar’s Firebending master/lover/co-parent to a little girl we found on the streets but I felt this fic so deep inside my soul. It was BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN and deserves ALL THE KUDOS. 

edit: I just read the most INCREDIBLE Azula redemption arc fic and I’ve decided to add it to the list, it’s called where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor on ao3 (couldn’t find a tumblr). I’m not going to lie, it’s really hard for me to get into multichap fics (ironic considering I write mostly multichap), but the first chapter was so incredibly written I was like all right I have to read the second chapter and I ended up reading like eighty percent of it in one sitting and the only reason I didn’t read 100% of it in one sitting is because it was 3 am and I had class the next day. This is the first canonverse fic that I’ve read that shows Azula’s whole redemption arc (and honestly it’s only the second fic I’ve read, modern, canon-compliant, or canon-divergent, that gives Azula a redemption arc period) and it’s done so remarkably well. Seeing Azula and Zuko’s bond grow throughout was just so beautiful (the way Zuko said he didn’t want to be anywhere without Azula? I’m crying. CRYING.) Azula was just so so so well-written in this I believed every second of it (and I have HIGH STANDARDS for fics with Azula). Also obsessed with the idea that Zuko didn’t want the throne so they plan to give it to Azula, a fourteen year-old girl like wow iconic. There’s also a zukka subplot in this that’s incredibly sweet and UGH they both need to learn how to communicate my goodness.  

[princesssarcastia]

Thoughts on Star Trek AOS? (And do you think Kirk was on Tarsus?)

i have SO MANY THOUGHTS about star trek aos, so buckle up.  brace yourself.

star trek aos is a terrible disaster and i love it SO MUCH.  for me, star trek 2009 is still in that class of unreasonably pleasing movies like the mummy or stardust or jumanji: welcome to the jungle.  what they are isn’t exactly top notch but you love them for being exactly what they are.

star trek aos is a star-studded fucking phenomenal cast of some of the best actors working today, which makes up for the very inconsistent writing and unfortunate low-level current of sexism.

literally where would i be today if chris pine could not make faces Like That. i honestly couldn’t tell you.

overall, I have quite a few bones to pick with JJ Abrams for setting up a star trek universe that is less Wacky Space Utopia adventures with liberal political commentary ranging from unsubtle to im-hitting-you-over-the-head-with-my-opinions-like-they’re-a-brick—

to this kind of overtly militarized action-hero adventure porn where one white man saves the universe from Scary People Who Don’t Look Like Us And Are Crazy.  I also don’t appreciate what they did to Jim Kirk, turning him into this womanizing self-centered bastard who has to be in charge.  I REALLY don’t appreciate the casual misogyny, what with the last of rank stripes for women and the gratuitous sex-ed up scenes and the way that Amanda Grayson gets fridged for man-pain and and and— you get the picture.

Or at least, that’s what they tried to do to jim kirk.  and god fucking bless chris pine for being able to make facial expressions, because i firmly believe if pretty much almost anyone else had played Jim Kirk as written by JJ Abrams, that’s exactly what he would have been.

But because of chris pine’s acting, instead, most of the AOS fandom and I realized/decided that this “womanizing” version of jim kirk actually really really hates himself so much, most likely for trauma reasons. 

we took that shit and ran with it and never really stopped.

zachary quinto is also like god tier casting.  unfortunately the writers for the first two movies mostly gave him Anger as a primary motivator, which like, is not exactly how I would interpret Spock at all, but quinto played this Angry Spock so so well.

ZOE SALDANA PLAYS THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE, NYOTA UHURA, PERFECTLY AND THAT’S ALL I’LL HEAR ON THE MATTER.

john cho should be cast in everything ever he’s amazing and I love seeing him.  this man has the range. hikaru sulu is the backbone of this fucking ship.  this man wins the big damn hero award every single movie. 

i still miss living in the same world as anton yelchin. i really, really do.

I also have found family feelings all over these movies, where these baby versions of iconic characters from the sixties are brought together too early to witness too much fucking trauma.  harry potter references aren’t exactly in vogue right now, but there’s this one piece from a—well, actually, its a harry potter reference in an mcu fic i read years ago, now that i think about it, but anyway:

it was something like, there are some things you can’t go through with a person—like that mountain troll in harry potter—without becoming friends for life.  there are some crucibles that will bind you together forever.  and awful as it is, I think Nero and the Vulcan genocide were the AOS crew’s mountain troll.  there’s no going back or separating, after that.

also I feel like there’s a ton of competence porn in this trilogy that i deeply, deeply enjoy.

star trek: 2009 and into darkness are both grimdark male power fantasy bullshit that only accidentally hits all the right buttons for me.  I love them dearly but i know EXACTLY what they are, thank you.

star trek: beyond is a delightful movie with no real plot where our favorite crew are finally Adults With A Modicum Of Common Sense And Stability, instead of Disaster Children Angsting All Over The Place, and they get to save the universe with the power of excellent rock music and friendship. how cool is that?!?  i wanna give simon pegg a high five for making this movie.

on a more meta note, what I find kind of satisfying about these movies is that—for all his many faults that i’m always happy to expound upon—JJ Abrams actually went for it.  He Did That.  He just made his own brand new timeline, killed jim kirk’s dad, then gave him an abusive uncle/step-dad, then literally destroyed one of the founding planets of the Federation, then he, in an iconic fashion, switched Jim and Spock’s places in the infamous “wrath of khan” death scene, so instead Spock gets to watch Jim die. 

and you know what? I can forgive a lot of bullshit for that kind of poetic angsty fanfic plot detail. 

every time uhura says, “an alternate reality,” in star trek 2009 just gives me chills.  every time she says it, you feel the weight of sixty years of history and legacy sitting on these people’s shoulders, the weight of arguably one of the most popular TV shows of all time.

imagine, living in a new world you’re aware isn’t the one that was supposed to be.  imagine that!

oh! and on the question of tarsus:

what I think is probably true irl: JJ Abrams has never thought that far ahead in his life.  correct me if i’m wrong, but hadn’t he.....not even watched star trek.........when he made these movies............like lol i’d bet you this man didn’t even really know Tarsus was a thing.  And even if he did, I don’t think he thought it was part of the new canon he was creating.  AOS is much more self-contained than the serialized universe the original star trek was, so I don’t think that AOS was intended to encompass all those things, like tarsus, that we as a fandom like to obsess over.

what I personally enjoy: i love me some AOS fic that explores the ridiculous amounts of trauma that comes from living through a genocide.  I think that, given we all decided AOS Jim Kirk hates himself, and engages in a shit ton of self-sabotaging and destructive behavior to cope, it’s a reasonable jump to think that at least some of that comes from some survivor’s guilt bullshit from Tarsus.  And honestly, hit me up if you want recs for this, because boy do I have them.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: no one does angst quite like AOS!Jim Kirk.

what I believe wholeheartedly: this is like Schrödinger's Plot Point, okay, it both exists and doesn’t exist simultaneously.  it’s easy to read tarsus into some of jim’s behavior, and it’s easy to read none of it in, and both of those choices are valid.  go with your gut, go with what makes you happy, go with what you think makes sense.  This is where fandom lives, in these little details that fall through the cracks.

anyway WOW did I talk a lot.  those are at least some of my star trek thoughts.  i do have others, but i’ve expounded on them before on this blog, and y’all don’t need me to repeat myself

ask me my thoughts on ______

[jellybeanbeing]

Favorite Books of 2020

I read 50 books this year, here are my top favorites:

9. Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare // One of my most anticipated books of 2020 and it did not disappoint. This wasn’t the first Shadowhunter book I’ve read and so I was aware going into this one that, with this being the first book to a new series, there was gonna be some info dump and A LOT of build up. I wasn’t mad at it though. Besides that, I can already tell that this series is going to be my favorite in TSC. The story is already so complex with such vibrant and interesting characters and character relationships. I cried my eyes out at the end of this book because I could just feel the pain in certain characters and I am so ready to be hurt with the two upcoming books.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: substance abuse, emotional manipulation

8. Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert // This was the first ever adult romance book that I read, and boy, did it make me fall in love. I had no idea what I was going into when picking this up because I had never read an adult romance novel, and I was soooooooo pleasantly surprised that it sent me into an adult romance book binge. This is still at the top because hot damn, the relationship was just fantastic. It was sooooo cute, and what I loved so so much was that the characters had lives outside of their relationships. They grew individually while still engaging in their relationship. It never felt boring or stilted. It was so refreshing to read that. The amount of communication and comprehension that was present was amazing. The smut scenes were just fucking perfection. I loved everything about this book! 

TRIGGER WARNING (provided in the author's note of Get a Life, Chloe Brown): "This story touches on the process of healing after an abusive relationship."

7. You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle // Let me just say here that this is suuuuuuch a romantic book. There were so many lines that had my heart aching and crying. This was the first book I read where the lovers to enemies to lovers trope existed, and after this one, I want more. I looooved the regrowth of their relationship, seeing the two become friends again, and really really communicate with each other and listen to each other. It was so goddamn cute and wholesome and endearing. This book was also so humorous and I found myself actually laughing at certain parts. One thing that I really really appreciated was that though the book’s perspective was only from one side of the relationship, it never pinned all the blame on the other person. This was a story that could’ve easily turned into that, where the other person is the bad guy, but it was acknowledged that both sides were at fault for the falling out of the relationship. I had such a great time reading this one!

6. The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang // I fell absolutely in love with this one, especially after a brief reread. It is sooooo freaking cute and easy going and wholesome and romantic and perfect. I love the two main characters and how well they fit together. They understand each other and respect each other and care for each other so so deeply. The communication was so perfect, the smut scenes were top tier amazing, the growth of their affection towards each other was so cute, and everything was just great. I loved the family aspect of this one! It felt natural and genuine. This book was just everything good.

5. Kids of Appetite by David Arnold // One of the last books I read in the year, and here it is! This reread was well overdue. Anyway, I loved it! I loved it way more than my first read. The found family trope in this one was literally so perfect and felt like a warm hug. I LIVE for the friendships in this one. I absolutely loved how everything tied together at the end and how everything was connected. It made me so emotional, and yes, I did cry. A lot. The romance between Vic and Mad was also really cute and wholesome! The grief that was explored in this one was also so so good. It felt so personal and it made my heart ache. Yes, this book will still remain as one of my all time favorites. I loved it.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: PTSD, physical abuse, death of a loved one, murder, violence

4. The Right Swipe & 3. Girl Gone Viral by Alisha Rai // Okay, but these are top fucking tier romance books! I’m grouping them together because they are part of the same series (Modern Love). I’m usually not a fan of social media or modern day lingo in books because I do find it cringy but I don’t know, it fucking works in these two for me. The Right Swipe is a second chance romance, and I loved it! Rhi and Samson have such great chemistry and their banter was so good. Girl Gone Viral had me smiling like an idiot throughout the whole thing. It was so fucking cute! Also, it was my first bodyguard trope like book, and I like it? Anyway, what I love about both books is how great the communication and comprehension is between the couples. They understand the other person’s boundaries and have conversations like mature people. I also LOVE how the main characters are so well developed and intriguing individually. There’s enough about both characters and who they are and how they run their lives where I felt a connection with them. I found myself caring about each character outside of their relationship and rooting for them. They grow individually but they also grow within their relationship. Also, what perfect endings these two have. It’s not at all cheesy (though I’m not opposed to them) and/or dramatic. They were so realistic, intimate, and heartwarming. And lastly, the smut scenes were chef’s kiss. Great. Fantastic. These two books are the best romance books I’ve ever read, and I will die on this hill saying that.

The Right Swipe TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: sexual harrasment (the book discusses sexual harassment in the workplace), emotional and mental abuse, healing after the death of a loved one, anxiety, mentions of panic attacks

Girl Gone Viral TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: PTSD, mentions of unhealthy eating habits (restrictive), emotional and mental abuse, depictions of panic attacks, anxiety

2. Deposing Nathan by Zack Smedley // This was my first book of the year, and yes, it is up this high because it was so great and memorable. I read this at the most perfect time in my life. I was initially really exciting for it, and I was so happy that it matched my expectations. While the book’s main focus is on the events of what happened that led to the start of the book, it deals with such as topics about sexuality and religion. It was such an emotional and intense book for me, and I felt like this book poured out the thoughts that were swimming in my brain. I loved the characters and how certain things played out. None of it to me, felt unrealistic. It was genuine and heartbreaking while still a bit heartwarming. This book is truly a gem, and I will love it forever.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: child abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, mental manipulation, violence, homophobic slurs, homophobia

1. An Ember in the Ashes series by Sabaa Tahir // With how much I posted about this series, it’s no surprise that it’s numero uno on this list. I love this series with my entire soul, being, existence, it is literal perfection. Yes, I’ve had my fair share of complaints about this book series but fuck that, it is sooooo good. The characters are so amazing and complex, and their development over the course of the four books is so emotional and heart wrenching. I found a part of myself with each character and I was (and still am) so attached to them. The romantic relationship, the familial relationships, the friendships, all the relationships were so well done. I could feel the true connection in every dynamic. I love it so much that it hurts. The plot itself is so fucking good. The slow world building it has is one of my favorite things. It allows you to take in the world slowly and at a good pace. It continues to grow and evolve and reveal itself the further you go with each book. The dialogue is fucking fantastic. It’s flows so well and is well done. Yes, it gets fancy but it’s soooooo smooooooooth. The writing is just sooooo beautiful. Gorgeous. A beauty. I have different posts dedicated to my favorite lines in each book, and boy do they hit the emotional spot. This book series has had such a huge impact in my life and the fact that it’s over doesn’t even feel real. I have cried for five days straight because I won’t get to read this series or about these characters anymore, like I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. Not to mention that the tears are also because of book four and the bittersweetness it left me with. I could go on for days about how absolutely amazing and fantastic this book series is. I would highly recommend it. Get wrecked by it. Love it. It will hurt your soul.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: mentions of rape, mentions of sexual assault, violence (some scenes are graphic), murder, death of loved ones, depictions of grief, PTSD

[livlepretre]

Top 5 TVD moment

1. THAT TIME IN THE DINNER PARTY WHEN ELIJAH TOLD ELENA HE WOULD HAVE TO CALL HER BLUFF ABOUT STABBING HERSELF AND THEN SHE ACTUALLY STABBED HERSELF. When I say that my jaw DROPPED. When I say that I was unprepared for that moment. It was the most shocking character beat I had ever encountered on tv. like, I was watching this all playing out, and I had this utterly sick feeling because I knew she was bluffing, and then! and then! and then she was not. This is, to me, THE quintessential Elena Gilbert moment-- this was when I finally understood as an audience member who exactly she was-- it was this amazing moment where I realized that I thought I understood her, having been watching for a few seasons at that point, but actually no, she was made of so much tougher, rarer stuff-- she was someone who would be willing to do the unthinkable-- AND THEN-- THE MOMENT OF BETRAYAL WHEN SHE SUCCEEDS IN DAGGERING HIM-- I’m still stunned by this, literally 10 years almost to the day later 

2. That time at the end of 2x12 when Damon goes out into the road to compel and murder that woman, and he gives the “I miss being human, more than anything in the world” speech. What I remember most clearly about that moment was that by then, I had grown used to Damon as a protagonist...and I remember watching that episode for the first time and having this sick sinking feeling of not feeling safe with Damon. I think this is by far and away the most horrific scene in the show, because it twists our audience expectation that we are going to root for a protagonist and strips us of our ability to enjoy him, cheer for him, or feel safe with him, thus throwing us back into the shoes of the victim... but it also is this amazing moment of digging into why vampirism is such a terrible curse... it’s that they’re monsters, but they miss their humanity which is forever out of reach, and they are caught in this inevitable downward spiral that tosses it further and further away from them. 

3. The entirety of the masquerade episode??? Of if I had to distill it, locking Katherine in the tomb. This was the most satisfyingly horrible fate for her and I lived for it. Just. The horror and the doom of her banging against that barrier spell, finally be condemned to the fate she was supposed to have all along. Amazing. (I think it would have been amazing to leave her in that tomb for a few seasons until we had nearly forgotten about her and then take her out, but oh well, I still enjoyed her in season 2 so I can’t complain too much.) 

4. SPEAKING OF KATHERINE my favorite scene in the entire show is probably the end of Memory Lane when we finally have that flashback to her fleeing Mystic Falls in 1864 and we have that stunning and beautiful scene where she tells dead, transitioning Stefan that she loves him and will be back and Breathe Again is playing in the background ( “car is parked, bags are packed... but what kind of heart doesn’t look back?” IS THIS NOT THE MOST KATHERINE SONG THAT EVER THERE WAS) and Katherine in the present touches her mouth and smiles-- this scene just kills me because it finally finally gives us our first true peak into Katherine’s heart, and it’s so sweet and so tragic and the history between all the characters is so potent and it all comes together in the most beautiful possible way-- it’s just this quiet little moment that is actually so perfect

5. Umm you didn’t think I could possibly get through this list without mentioning the Sacrifice, right? because if I had to pick just one more it would definitely be the Sacrifice-- how many shows say they are going to rain down doom, fire, and brimstone, and then instead of stopping it at the 11th hour... actually go through with it? and then code those scenes with fire and seduction and horror and everything else that tvd just piles on and on and on? it’s also shot incredibly beautifully, and the anticipation leading up to it was incredible-- I was really ill with anxiety about it at all, the whole season and everyone’s particular puzzle piece leading into the sacrifice was just gorgeously written 

So it turns out all of my favorite parts are in season 2, but what can I say, it was hurricane of a season, top tier 

[kayliemusing]

42: top 3s

1: Top 3 ice cream flavors - classic vanilla, birthday cake/birthday batter, bubblegum

2: Top 3 Disney Movies - Mulan, Onward, Soul (but this changes frequently lol)

3: Top 3 vacation destinations - I've never been outside of my home country so I'll say my top 3 DREAM destinations: NYC, Hawaii, a random countryside in either France or the UK

4: Top 3 places to shop - Dynamite, Sephora, Winners/Homesense

5: Top 3 subjects of study/classes to take - English/anything creative writing related, Interior Decorating/Design, Communications?

6: Top 3 make up products - YSL Touche Eclat Foundation, literally any Mac Lipstick but it has to be matte, & Fenty Beauty contour stick

7: Top 3 music artists - Taylor Swift - Of Monsters and Men - The Lumineers

8: Top 3 spices/herbs - Cinnamon - Nutmeg (literally tastes like autumn) - Paprika

9: Top 3 drinks - Diet Coke - Hot Chocolate - Vanilla Bean Frappe

10: Top 3 apps to use - Instagram - Pinterest -iBooks

11: Top 3 months of the year - May, October, December

12: Top 3 clothing items - My black/white turtle neck, high waisted jeans, plaid blazer

13: Top 3 binge perfect tv shows - Bones, Supernatural, Brooklyn Nine Nine

14: Top 3 romantic dates - (I've never been on a date but if I had, it would be this) Evening walk, late night drive, late night coffee date (tbh anything at night feels romantic)

15: Top 3 kinds of flower - Water lilies, cherry blossoms, roses

16: Top 3 christmas movies - A Christmas Carol (2009), Home Alone, The Polar Express

17: Top 3 OTPs - Nesta and Cassian from ACOTAR series by SJM, Manon and Dorian from Throne of Glass series by SJM, Casteel and Poppy from From Blood and Ash series by JLM.

18: Top 3 quotes to describe your life - "I write not to find, but to leave" by Scherezade Siobhan - "I want to be myself again. I want to be six. I want to stop knowing everything I know" by Catherynne M. Valente - "The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get" by Joanna Hoffman.

19: Top 3 characteristics you love about yourself - my kindness bc it's not surface level kindness, but actually something deeply rooted within me - my resilience even tho sometimes it doesn't feel like resilience - my loyalty bc it is a hard as steel kind of loyalty

20: Top 3 kinds of candy - Maltesers, Kit kats, smarties

21: Top 3 ways to exercise/ be active - Walking, dancing, mowing the lawn/shoveling the sidewalk

22: Top 3 spirit animals - wolf, hummingbird, tiger (i googled it bc i didn't know and i was scared it was a joke but)

23: Top 3 petnames - I like 'lovebug', 'love', 'sweetheart'

24: Top 3 books read outside of school - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas but viewers discretion is advised, Crush by Richard Siken

25: Top 3 most used websites - Youtube, Tumblr, Pinterest

26: Top 3 people you last texted - my mom, my bestie megan, and my sister bc they're the only people i text...

27: Top 3 hashtags you use - the only time i use hashtags is if i'm trying to promote some of my writing so I'll usually use writingcommunity, writersonig, poetryonig lol

28: Top 3 instagram accounts you follow - Trista Mateer, Griefmother, obviously taylor swift

29: Top 3 guilty pleasures - buzzfeed quizzes, early 2000s music, romance novels

30: Top 3 summer activities - Going to the zoo, long evening walks, campfires and s'mores

31: Top 3 things to draw/doodle - hearts, flowers, random swirls bc it's the only thing i can doodle...

32: Top 3 aesthetics - cityscape aesthetic, autumn aesthetic, rustic aesthetic

33: Top 3 things you'd buy if you gained three million dollars - a new car, a condo, another cat

34: Top 3 ways to treat yourself - facial, a large bag of maltesers, buying the makeup i really want but have been putting off

35: Top 3 celebrity crushes - Evan Peters, Matthew Daddario, henry cavill

36: Top 3 books from your childhood - Love You Forever by Robert Munsch, The Big Friendly Giant by Roald Dahl, and Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmens

37: Top 3 accents to hear - Australian, super poshy british accent, new zealand accent

38: Top 3 scents - Fresh rain, vanilla, sweet cinnamon pumpkin from bath and body works

39: Top 3 "Friends" quotes - "WE WERE ON A BREAK" -Ross, "Guess things were just going too well for me" -also ross, and "it's so exhausting waiting for death" - phoebe

40: Top 3 cupcake flavors - tbh I haven't tried that many cupcakes so your typical vanilla, chocolate, and Pink Lady Cupcake from Babycakes Cupcakery

41: Top 3 fruits - Pomegranates, Strawberries, Raspberries

42: Top 3 places you've had amazing pizza from - Pizzahut, Dominos, Pizza73

43: Top 3 sports teams to watch - i don't

44: Top 3 crayola colors - uh, i guess red, purple, and pink??

45: Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college - Certificates/Degrees in Copyediting and Creative Writing, and I think simply just deeper critical thinking skills when it comes to writing and books

46: Top 3 fanfictions you've read - I read more books than fanfics, I've read a couple on tumblr but don't remember the names sorry :/

47: Top 3 people you miss right now - my dad, my best friend bc she's in vancouver, taylor swift bc she's not on tumblr anymore rip

48: Top 3 fears - Failure, Loss, not achieving anything in life/not reaching my full potential

49: Top 3 favorite literary devices - Foreshadowing is always god tier, cliffhangers although evil i love those too, symbolism

50: Top 3 pet peeves - People dragging their shoes on the floor when they walk, when you tell someone your fav hobby/music artist/interest and they immediately go 'oh I hate X!', and people who go 'you're so quiet!!!' but in a way that draws in more attention and/or makes me feel more uncomfortable like i would literally rather die

51: Top 3 physical things you find attractive - Hands, nice hair, defined jawlines

52: Top 3 bad habits - Nailbiting, picking at my blemishes oops, lip biting

53: Top 3 pets you've had/wish to have - Cats bc they complete me, I've always wanted a Samoyed, and I've always wanted a turtle

54: Top 3 types of foreign food - Chicken Chow Mein, deep fried shrimp, japanese chicken wings

55: Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime - 'I quit', 'I love you', 'you changed my life'

56: Top 3 dog breeds - Samoyed, german shepherds, collies

57: Top 3 cheesy romance movies - You've Got Mail, How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days, 10 Things I Hate About You

58: Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak - French, Sign, and maybe Japanese?

59: Top 3 series (book, movie, television) - The Cruel Prince series by Holly Black, A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas (but literally only for Cassian and Nesta), From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout

60: Top 3 pizza toppings - Mushrooms, alfredo sauce, pineapple

61: Top 3 youtubers you're subscribed to - Game Grumps, Charlotte Dobre, Megan Batoon

62: Top 3 tattoo / piercing ideas - I want to get a tattoo on my wrist of the last thing my dad ever wrote me, a hummingbird tattoo right next to it, and then a cross on my index finger

63: Top 3 awards you want to win - National Book Awards, Nobel Prize, and maybe even Goodreads Choice Awards lol

64: Top 3 emojis - Laugh/Crying emoji, the please sir emoji that kinda gives off those puss n boots eyes, and the stars emoji

65: Top 3 cars you dream of owning - 1970s Chev Impala, tbh a cute little Hyundai Venue, and maaaaybe the 1964 ferarri 250 gt luso (idk if that name was totally right but i had to do tons of googling to find it. i don't know a lot about cars and i don't really have a top 3 lol)

66: Top 3 authors - Right now I'm really into Sarah J Maas, Sally Thorne, and Holly Black maybe?

67: Top 3 historical figures - Jesus, Anne Frank, Vincent Van Gogh

68: Top 3 baby names - Ryder, Leila, Gracie

69: Top 3 DIYs - Candles, refurnishing old furniture (i.e. my mom and i painted our wooden garbage can), and really just any type of autumn diy

70: Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors - Strawberry/Banana, Mango, Strawberry-Mango

71: Top 3 songs of this month - Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish, Biblical by Calum Scott, and Visiting Hours by Ed Sheeran

72: Top 3 questions of this post you want to be asked - I did them all bc I made it a survey instead of an ask meme ;)

73: Top 3 villains - Regina/The Evil Queen from Once Upon a Time, Cruella De Vil, and Moriarty from Sherlock

74: Top 3 Cities you want to see - Montreal, NYC, Vancouver (honorable mention: LA)

75: Top 3 recipes you want to try - different kind of salad and/or burger bowls, Stuffed bell peppers, and homemade lemon loaf

76: Top 3 dream jobs - Bestselling author, the person who runs a companies social media accounts, youtuber/blogger

77: Top 3 lucky items - tbh don't have one

78: Top 3 traditions you have - Christmas Eve Service and if I don't go to that at least incorporating reading the christmas story on christmas day or eve, idk if this counts as tradition but going to the corn maze every fall, and whenever it's easter/christmas/thanksgiving we always have a big meal w/ family

79: Top 3 things you miss about being a kid - reckless abandon, dreaming about growing up with hopefulness and no dashed hopes, experiencing holidays like halloween and christmas as a kid

80: Top 3 harry potter characters - I've never read or watched Harry Potter rip (ok well i saw the first and second (and maybe third?) movie in the sixth grade I think) but I think I really liked Hermoine, Harry obviously and Dobby

81: Top 3 lies you were told - i don't have 3, but this one has a story but basically when my sister and i were in elementary school my sister got hit by a car and so the insurance thing was that she would recieve 10k when she was 18 and as a child i thought that was unfair so my dad told me that my sister had to split it with me when we were 18 lmao obviously that didn't happen (i think i realized that wasn't true in middle school)

82: Top 3 pictures in your camera roll right now - Pictures of my cat, one of my sister in a hilarious filter, and a picture of my rocking my TS merch

83: Top 3 turn ons - Kindness, defined jawline, easy going

84: Top 3 turn offs - arrogance, unkempt, super loud and obnoxious

85: Top 3 magazines/news papers/ journals to read - I don't read much of those so I'll tell you some sites I love for writing purpose's: there's Wellstoried, justwriterlythings, springhole.net (which is filled with generators if you're stuck and also tons of infomation and advice)

86: Top 3 things you wish you had known earlier - that toad in Mario Party was wearing a mushroom hat and that it is actually not his head, that immaculate means 'clean' before i misused that word like several times over the years, and that the one turn i always take on my way to work where i thought everyone didn't know how to drive was actually bc i didn't have the right of way rip me

87: Top 3 spongebob episodes - the one episode where spongebob and patrick find a ghost ship, that one episode where they form a bikini bottom band and perform it at a football game in a little fish tank, and the one episode where squidward has his first snowball fight

88: Top 3 places to be in the world - I'd love to be in NYC, Montreal, or Hawaii

89: Top 3 things you'd do differently - I would not have applied for RDC, similarly I should have just paid the 500 dollars to the one certificate program I wanted to do instead of overthinking it, and I wish I wouldn't have ended a friendship the way I did

90: Top 3 TV shows from your childhood - Spongebob Squarepants, That's So Raven, and Hannah Montana

91: Top 3 meals you love - Turkey Burgers, Chilli, and Instant Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup

92: Top 3 kinds of tea - i don't drink tea

93: Top 3 embarrassing moments - one time in sixth grade I tripped and fell right on my face in front of my crush, this other time like a couple years ago i opened the door to my car and only realized much too late while i was staring at this random family that it was not my car, and when i went to the gas station to get gas and couldn't get my gas lid on my car opened and this guy had to help me which was already embarrassing enough but then the gas pump wouldn't work so i had to go inside to pay just to realize i forgot my wallet and had to shamefully walk back to my car and then run back inside the convenience store and then pay and then walk back to my car and finally fill my tank.

94: Top 3 holidays to celebrate - Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving

95: Top 3 things to do in the rain - have an existential crisis, pretend you're in a music video, walk through puddles like you're six again

96: Top 3 things to do in the snow - Sledding, Build a snowman, shovel it even tho you don't want to

97: Top 3 items you can't leave the house w/o - phone, keys, wallet

98: Top 3 movies you'd like to see - Jurassic World 3, Hotel Transylvania: Transformania bc i'm a child, and the animation of the addams family

99: Top 3 art mediums - Writing fiction/poetry, painting, music

100: Top 3 museums you've been to - Royal Tyrell Museum, Canadian History one in edmonton lol, and heritage park in calgary

101: Top 3 school memories - Middle school dances when the popular kids would grind to the song "Low" which was always an interesting experience, in the twelfth grade at winter formal when we all shouted "SHUT UP AND DANCE!" at the same time when they played Shut Up and Dance, and the day i left

102: Top 3 things you don't/Won't miss - School, my sisters ex, 2016 bc she was a rough year yikes

103: Top 3 pick up lines - "My name is Will. God's Will.", "I'd like to take you to the movies but they don't like you bring your own snacks", "are you from tennessee bc you're the only 10 i see"

104: Top 3 sports to watch - none of them

105: Top 3 taylor swift songs - all too well - exile - coney island

[sineala]

Queer novel recs

[A repost from my Patreon.]

By request of the one person who is pledging at a Patreon tier that lets them make meta/review requests of me, some recommendations for queer novels. Fiction-wise, I read pretty much exclusively science fiction and fantasy, with the occasional excursus into historical fiction, so that's what you're getting.

SF/F these days is, happily, getting queerer and queerer. As a general recommendation, a good place to start is the lists of winners and nominees of the Otherwise Award (formerly the Tiptree Award), which, according to their website, "encourages the exploration and expansion of gender." There's also the Lambda Literary Awards, which are awarded to both fiction and non-fiction LGBT books across various categories, including genre (mystery, romance, SF/F & horror). It's obviously not going to be a guarantee that you'll like any particular one of these books, but at least it means that somebody did.

A whole lot of the Hugo award nominees and winners this year coincidentally happened to be queer fiction, especially in the longer categories. The Best Novel winner, Arkady Martine's The Memory of Empire, is a sprawling space opera starring a diplomat who incidentally (very incidentally) happens to have some Feelings for her cultural liaison, and it's a really good book, anyway. I actually voted for Tamsyn Muir's Gideon the Ninth, which is billed as "lesbian necromancers in space," and it is pretty much exactly that. It's a murder mystery, which you'd think would be less mysterious in a book where half the characters are necromancers, but this doesn't actually help them much. I thought it was delightful and I have the sequel sitting here on my Kindle waiting for me to read it. But had Gideon not stolen my heart, I would have voted for Kameron Hurley's The Light Brigade. Everything else I have read by Hurley -- well, okay, that's just the Bel-Dame Apocrypha series, actually -- has starred kickass queer people, and this one's no exception. It's military SF in the vein of Starship Troopers or The Forever War with a really well-done time travel plot, in which the twists just keep coming. The narrator's gender is intentionally obscured for about 95% of the novel, and for added fun, they're bisexual. (Charlie Jane Anders' The City in the Middle of the Night also had queer characters but it didn't really grab me.)

(I have to admit I bounced off a lot of the Hugo novella nominees this year, including most of the queer ones, but Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone's This Is How You Lose The Time War (lesbian time-travel agents) did win, although it wasn't really my thing, and Rivers Solomon's The Deep (lesbian mermaids) appears to have gone on to win this year's Lambda instead, although that one wasn't really my thing either. Becky Chambers's To Be Taught, If Fortunate also had some lesbians and I liked that a bit better, but none of those got my #1 vote.)

I have not read it yet and cannot vouch for it but my wife is reading N. K. Jemisin's new short story collection and she says they're very good and a lot of them are queer.

Okay. So. What about less recent queer SF/F, you ask?

I started reading SF/F in the mid-90s, and there wasn't a whole lot of queer SF/F out there in the mainstream SF market, so I imprinted pretty heavily on what there was that I could find, which was basically, at first, the blink-and-you'll-miss-it gay dragonriders of Anne McCaffrey's Pern series. Pern is what The Youth these days would probably call problematic in several ways, but there wasn't much else out there. I also then read Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar series, which is basically iddy iddy whump fic with magic telepathic animals who love you, so I'm not saying it's a complete literary masterpiece but Confused Baby Lesbian Sineala sure spent a lot of time wondering why she was identifying so very hard with Vanyel from the Last Herald-Mage trilogy. (I also really enjoyed Marion Zimmer Bradley's Darkover books, especially the ones about the Renunciates (the lesbian ones), Heritage of Hastur (the gay one), and The Forbidden Tower (the one where a telepathic orgy solves everyone's problems) but owing to the, uh, terrible things we all found out about MZB after she died, I don't think I can recommend them. Or read them ever again.

Other older queer SF/F that was beloved among my friend group: Ellen Kushner's Swordspoint and its sequels are about a duelist and his boyfriend and a lot of people liked this one, but I never liked it enough to keep up with all the sequels. The first few of Lynn Flewelling's Nightrunner books, however, punched me straight in the id; the protagonists are a pair of spies and thieves who are, more or less, this fantasy world's version of elves. There are a whole lot of grätúìtôūs dīåcrìtïcs and after the third book everything gets a little too horrific for me, but I really loved the first three.

But if I had to pick a top three list of authors who have written queer SF/F, this would be my list:

(1) Diane Duane. She is pretty much my favorite author ever, so I am biased here. I first discovered her work with her Star Trek tie-in novels (which, if you like Vulcans and Romulans, are amazing) and then her YA series Young Wizards, which is about teenagers who can do magic and use it to make the universe a better place and it's about ten thousand times more meaningful to me than Harry Potter ever was. But, anyway. She also has a fantasy series called The Tale of the Five, which is an everyone-is-bi-and-poly series started back before that kind of thing was even cool. Also there's a group marriage involving, like, six people, one of whom is a fire elemental. There are three books out in that series, she's still writing novellas set in it, and she swears that she's going to write the fourth and final book that we've been waiting about 25 years for.

(2) Melissa Scott. Everything I have ever read by Melissa Scott, either as a solo author or with her late partner Lisa Barnett, is queer as hell and has amazing worldbuilding. I first encountered her work when I randomly picked up Trouble and Her Friends (lesbian cyberpunk) at a used bookstore and ended up adoring it. Her other works include Shadow Man (set in a future where humanity has a whole lot more intersex people), The Kindly Ones (which has a protagonist whose gender is never specified), and The Armor of Light (alt-history involving Kit Marlowe and a demon). But my favorite series of hers is the Astreiant series, which is a Professionals AU with the serial numbers filed off, but they're filed off really well. It's a series of police procedural mysteries set in Fantasy Matriarchal Renaissance Netherlands, starring a m/m couple, and the fantasy gimmick here is that astrology is really real and really works. They're a lot of fun.

(3) Nicola Griffith. All of her books are about queer women. She has a few that are modern-day thrillers that I didn't so much care for, but I really love her SF. The first book of hers I read was Ammonite, about an anthropologist who gets sent to a planet of only women to try to figure out how they reproduce and ends up going native instead. I really adored it. I also remember really liking Slow River although I no longer remember the actual plot, except that the main character worked at a sewage facility. And it's historical fiction rather than SF, but she's probably most famous for Hild, a novel about Hilda of Whitby. I liked it a lot except for the part where it annoyed me that Griffith invented out of whole cloth the idea that women would have a special female companion and made up a name for it in Old English and everything, and most people who read the book probably believed it was a real thing. But, uh. I did really love Ammonite. I am so weak for planet-of-women books. (This is why I am so sad that I can't ever read the Renunciates of Darkover books again.)

That's about all I can think of right now. I hope some of those recs are, at the very least, new!

[incorrecttowerofgodquotes]

Tower Of God Anime Episode 1 Breakdown

Spoilers so Anime only’s beware.

-The two hot boys have shown up. Interesting they’re both under honor and pride, since the two hate each other’s guts. Hatz strives to bring honor as swordsman and places a lot of his pride into that. Meanwhile, Khun strives to regain his honor taken away from him after his exile, and his overwhelming pride causes problems for him.

-In this small scene, there’s so much symbolism about Endorsi’s character. First, we focus on her shoes, which links to the idea of how Jahad’s Princesses are called the shoes in the king’s showcase. Right now, she is a shoe, walking towards her destiny of entering the tower. Then we get a shot of her face, a mix of adorable and pretty. These two shots indicate what everyone sees when they first meet Endorsi, a princess and then just a pretty face. Until it finally pulls back and shows the many other shoes in the showcase, to which Endorsi is compared to and what people hope she becomes. However, she stands outside the case because she wants freedom from her duties as a princess.

-Another interesting thing about the showcase shot is that while Endorsi is at first front and center, she’s ultimately dwarfed by the many other shoes that come into frame, showing that even if she’s a princess, she’s just one of many and can easily be made (replaced) again.

-The power and influence line shows Endorsi wants. She wanted power to become stronger than the other girls at her home, and eventually she gained it. Now she wants power to become a popular princess, which will give her influence. With her influence she might be able to change something about the princess system, just like what Yuri wants.

-Shibisu is under the money and wealth, replacing Narae. Now, we don’t actually know Shibisu’s backstory. We’ve gotten hints of it such as someone taking something from him, but we don’t know the full story. Might this give a clue into his past?

-Anaak is probably the most easiest to explain. She wants revenge on the Jahad family for her mother and father’s deaths. However she eventually mellows out with this, preferring to keep her teammates safe then strive for revenge (like in the Name Hunt Station Arc)

-Rak wants to transcend all. Basically become stronger than anyone, and he’ll gain this power by hunting down strong prey and proving he’s stronger.

-I can’t really do an analysis of the op cause most of it is just Bam walking and stuff, so here are my fav shots (Though the yellow one scares me). Interesting that we get a shot of the Jahad symbol in the op, though it makes sense with just how important it is. Though I don’t know what was up with the bird. I guess it’s meant to represent freedom, but ToG is more full of water metaphors than sky. (Also the only time birds are relevant in ToG is when they appear and then die)

-I love Rachel’s little smile after Bam tells her he doesn’t want her to go up the tower. It seems like she’s smiling to calm him down and explain the situation, however you can also see the fakeness in it. She isn’t smiling because she feels bad for Bam, she’s smiling because she feels like she has to.

-This shot still confuses me. It’s like the tower itself is vibe checking Bam.

-Subarashi

-Bam subscribes to the “No Waifu, No Laifu” train of thought. And just as I predicted, people are already calling him a simp. I guess I can let it pass for now, but’s gonna get annoying if people keep calling him that, even after S1.

-Thus, the meeting that forever changed the tower’s fate has occurred. And it all started with a kick to the face.

-Seeing Yuri and Evan together makes me happy. They’re such a great duo that feel better together than split. Also I’m interested in the language they’re using. Is it a real world language, fake, or a mix of a few languages? Either way, it seems that Yuri and Evan might be able to understand each other without a Pocket (maybe because Evan’s guide abilities allow him to know every language in the tower?)

-Gotta say, the CGI looks very crappy, especially in mix with the extremely cartoony style of ToG. Hope we don’t get to much of it.

-Why are they saying Non-Regular. It’s supposed to be Irregular. The trailers got it right, so why is this different?

-Love how Bam’s the only one who reacts to the threat of execution. Evan and Yuri probably hear that on a daily basis so it doesn’t matter as much.

-Yuri went from shitting on him to wanting to fuck him in a second. Normally I’d criticize such a thing but since Yuri has a different agenda, and the circumstances between princesses and men, I can’t blame her for wanting a handsome man to go up. (Seriously all the princesses must be sexually frustrated)

-Anaak’s my favorite girl in S1, but I think Yuri’s gonna convert me if she has more of these great faces.

-Another translation error, but one also translated wrongly in Japanese. It’s supposed to be needle, but they say katana (sword in japanese). If I’m remembering correctly, only one 13 Month Weapon is actually a sword.

-Poor Evan. Then again, even if it seems he has a weak hold on her, he’s probably the best one for the job. Since he’s one of the highest ranking guides, he’s probably stuck taking care of either hard to handle or strong princesses.

-Their relationship is adorable. I have a thing for tall girl x short boy and this fulfills it all the way. Also, Yuri saying she hates being bored is really telling of just how much of an adventurous spirit she has. Even in the tower where things are hectic all the time and she works under Jahad and Wingtree, she still desires a world outside of the norm. I wonder if meeting Phantaminum really broadened her horizons that much?

-Love seeing all the buildup just to get to Bam being eaten. It’s a great way to subvert expectations from him just cutting it normally. Also in the manwha, Yuri says the needle is for stabs and pierces, probably giving Bam the idea of entering the eel.

-Also Yuri for best big sister in anime pls.

-”Welp, let’s go home”

-Yuri was about to try and punt an administrator. How can she walk in such dense shinsu with balls as heavy as hers

-Can we talk about the amount of trust in Yuri and Evan’s relationship. Sure, Yuri protested when grabbed by Evan, but when she heard that Bam had taken the right path she immediately stopped fighting or rushing to break in there. Even if she couldn’t figure out what the path was supposed to be, she believed in Evan’s words that Bam had done it right and stopped fighting.

-Bam’s gonna need a bath

-I love these two shots. Just the raw determination Bam has is inspiring. We should all be like Bam, except maybe focus that determination into a hobby or work instead of stalking a girl.

-Yuri about to punt Headon part 2

-This scene had me tearing up. No matter how horribly the two’s relationship progresses in the future, this scene will always be sweet because it’s the two’s raw, positive emotion. Bam was stuck down there for weeks, months, maybe even years, and finally someone comes along and says they’ll be there with him. Even if he didn’t leave the cave, his world got brighter just by having Rachel there. I’m glad they included this scene because it shows why Bam is so desperate to get Rachel back, to get his light back.

-This is precious

-I can’t believe I’m actually saying this but Rachel looks adorable

-These shots are so simple yet so powerful. If only they could have stayed like this

-Bam is smooth. This dude spent years in a dark hole with no one to talk to and yet he can still pick up girls. Also I think this scene shows that Bam and Rachel have more of a sibling relationship. Ruffling his hair is more of a big sister type of thing.

-Based on Yuri’s reaction, this is probably the most determined she’s seen Evan

-Black March is top tier waifu material even though she’s just a needle. I like that the animators made her look more mature. It shows that she’s an old weapon without needing to say it.

-BEGONE THOT

-I love how Black March’s preference in men was a superstition. Also can we talk about Evan’s face in the last panel? It’s beautiful.

-Honestly, it’s hard to tell who’s in charge of who

-That feeling when a sexy, needle lady will never hold you in her arms, why even live?

-I love how Bam’s first reaction to entering a new place was to eat it’s grass. Bless this precious child

-And finally, it ends off with the RaKhunBam trio. I’m so happy to see all three of them together.

This episode had it’s good points and it’s bad points but either way I’m excited for the rest of this journey, especially seeing the anime onlys reactions.

[loisfreakinglane]

tell me about your favorite films and tv shows of the year!

oh gosh there was so much this year....... i'll try to be brief and offer up some of my favest content that was released this year!

FILMS!

raya and the last dragon...... i'm weak. its a gorgeous found family heist movie with distinct nations and one of my fav girlies playing a disney princess and theres a water themed dragon, I was always gonna be weak for this

the green knight!!!!!! i do have issues with this movie but on the whole it really sticks out to me as absolutely stunning and emotional, and honestly what i wish more mythological/fairy tale content was like? where its a super strange kind of magical and a lil episodic and doesn't need clearcut explanations or endings?

venom 2: carnage boogaloo- lmao i'm sorry i just. i love. FUN. it was so much fun. and it gave me a top tier evil villains in love otp!!!!!! THEY HAD AN EVIL WEDDING! NO BODY NO CRIME!

werewolves within- I love horror comedies, I love murder mysteries, I love soft sweet positive male leads, I love harvey guillen, I LOVE THIS MOVIE

gunpowder milkshake....... *jo march voice*: WOMEN!!!!!!!! I want to live in this world forever.

tick tick boom- much as I love andrew garfield I didn't expect all too much from this movie bc I was never big on rent, but I loooooved this. egot andrew garfield hours I demand it. also I got so fucking emotional during their rendition of sunday????? SO MANY ICONS

extra special additions: the eyes of tammy faye had me SOBBING, passing stuck with me for literal days, and the escape room movies are my new favorite horror franchise.

TV!

the five juanas----- you saw me flailing over this show. I fucking loved it. still praying for a season 2 renewal!!!!! but I'm gonna need them to listen to my complaints first off bc I DEMAND manuela get back together with isabel!!!

starstruck!!!!! this show was pure fucking romance, and so stunningly well done I adored it and I can't waaaaait for the next season. rose matafeo should lead every romcom ever made, she and nikesh patel have outrageously good chemistry, i really love this ship a lottttttt

cruel summer. I really really really love how this show was made and structured, it added so much to the story to be going back and forth between three distinct timeframes. also kate wallis is my daughter and CERTAIN PEOPLE SHOULD BURN IN HELL FOR WHAT THEY DID TO HER. i hope they turn this show into an anthology type thing, i'd love more stories told in this way.

clickbait!!!!!!!! I didn't think I'd wind up being into this show but it was so good????? I was obsessed with it, to the point I watched the last few episodes in the middle of the night while liveblogging the whole thing in @saint-cecilias dms. like i really really love shows that center every episode on a different character and their pov and this show utilized that SO WELL. (also something something been in love with adrian grenier since drive me crazy in 99 etc)

surreal estate--- I'm not caught up on this show!!!!! BUT I LOVED IT! SOMEONE SOMEWHERE PLZ PICK IT UP!!!!

shoutout to maid which emotionally wrecked me, but also a special shoutout to dollface and love victor which were not released this year but which I finally actually committed to watching for reals and completely fell in love with

so for me it was a pretty good year for content :)

[utouchmycookie]

Open Your Eyes

Chapter One: Flash

I (utouchmycookie) am the author of this piece. I don’t own the characters or locations, but the idea is mine. Also, I am ignoring my boring class by putting this here.

Flash walks into AcaDec expecting the heated glares of the girls, at the very least. Being verbally berated and kicked off the team by unanimous decision at the most likely. He doesn't even know what to think of at the most. Social death outside of the popular jocks (who have sway, but not nearly as much as they would at non-preppy need schools) seems like a possible outcome.

None of this happens. He does a double-take. Apparently there are no sides, which leaves the options that a) nobody gives a fuck (possible, but unlikely), or b) she said nothing (he'd figure this to be unlikely, but apparently it was entirely possible). She doesn't bother to look up at him entering the room, earbuds in and hair shielding the notebook she's scratching away in. Ned Leeds gives him the most dangerous look he's ever seen the happy go lucky President of the Computer Science, Ethical Hacking, Cybersecurity, IT, and Coding Clubs give; Michelle Jones manages to scare any sense of relief he'd mustered right off as she glances over the top of her book at him, and her glance says she knows, but the perfect expressionless deadpan and the way she almost immediately turns back to her book without giving him any further insight to what her thoughts are sends him into a horror and terror related trauma induced break down. Yes, he knows that's not a thing or the least bit grammatically correct but it's exactly what was headed for him.

He wishes she would do anything - scream at him in anger, sob in heartbreak, curse hysterically in hurt, even sigh in disappointment. She does none of these. She doesn't even bother to give him particularly serious cold shoulders and silence treatments and talk as if he isn't there and walk as if she doesn't even realize he's in the vicinity of her.

She's colder than she's ever been to him, including when he'd shoved Leeds into a locker, but she's no less polite than she's ever been. God, she's never been anything worse than curt with him, and he's such a dick and a douchebag and a tool and a piece of shit and a worthless waste of space. Even now, as he jostles to get her attention, she simply turns her eyes on him, listens to his cruel jests, and turns away when he's finished. God, here he was hoping for her to show him her heartbreak and here he was falling to pieces with his (and it was his own damn fault, his own stupid fucking choices).

Their (out of the know) teammates definitely recognize the difference in her behavior, but they chalk it up to her finally building an extra wall between them (something they've been trying to get her to do for literal years now. It was always, "Why are you so nice to him? He just shoves your books out of your hands to be a dick!" "I think he just needs some kindness in his life," "As if! I have all the kindness I could ever need, you psychotic whore!" "Sure seems like it." and god-fucking-damn her perceptiveness, her big heart, her endless kindness, her naïvety that she could help him; he would be forever indebted to her kindness and her gentleness and how much it had saved him and then he had ruined it with his stupid ass dumb fucking decisions and even now she couldn't be cruel to him, not even once.). Mr. Harrington pulls her aside after practice to double-check that he didn't hurt her, and the honesty and lack of attack in her response had made it hurt more (and how was that fucking possible anymore?!).

"He's Flash, Sir. He's always rude to me, and yes he did something nasty and it hurt, but it's not of the school's concern, it won't affect my performance in AcaDec, it's nothing I can't handle, and quite honestly, Mr. Harrington? I just don't want to stoop to his level."

"You are one of the most brilliant students I've had the honor of teaching, and are miles kinder and wiser than any other human being I've ever met. You're going to go far someday, and I cannot wait to see what you do someday."

"Thank you, Mr. Harrington. I couldn't do any of it if you didn't put your heart and soul into helping us even when it seems impossibly difficult." And then she smiled that innocent, sweet smile that let you know that she had no idea that she sounded like a brown-noser because she honest to God meant it.

So here's the thing: Peter Parker is an angel of a human being. The planet Earth 's disturbingly large number of vocal, disgusting humans didn't deserve her one bit. Flash among them.

But Peter Parker also suffered left and right.

She had been one of the few who had joined Midtown Tech's high school portion their freshman year, on one of the few scholarships offered. She'd started with an hour commute to school, and her high school career had started horribly. She was alone and friendless and new and definitely not in her socioeconomic class. What she had going for her was the school being an elitist nerd school. You had to be smart, and damn was she smart. That made her popular here. The geeky clubs made her cooler - Marching Band was perhaps not the straight dash to popularity choice, but one that gave her lots of social exposure. The International Club was a genius decision, because nobody at the school had less than Tier 1 universities in their future and everyone knew it was about being well-rounded. Acing Academic Decathlon had shot her right up to the top, earning her a spot in the likes of Liz Allen's favorite people to talk to. Peter hadn't intentionally done it, either, but she'd enchanted herself to the school by being utterly introverted and sweeter than a Pixie Stix without an ounce of dishonesty in her.

Then they'd gone to OsCorp. Norman Osborn and Dr. Curt Connors had revealed an open secret and it should have ruined her social life, but the students in the room had had nothing but sympathy for the horrible way of spilling her private life's facts - her parents were famous scientists, and dead.

The story hadn't gotten outside of their graduating class, at least, but the majority seemed to collectively decide she was their epitome of a Class Cinnamon Roll.

It helped their case that she was out sick for two weeks after OsCorp, and most people assumed that the stress of such horrible things being dragged up in such awful ways meant her mental health giving out and depleting her physical health. She'd come back and looked like shit for a week before she started looking healthier than she had before.

And then the hardest hit yet had slammed her, because Peter Parker never caught a single break.

Everyone in the school knew about Ben Parker's death. Peter's truancy was waived when she missed another week of school. Even the toughest teachers softened at the sight of her puffy, red eyes constantly wet with tears and ghost white face. Someone read the paper, and everyone doubled down on trying to soften up on Peter. Even Flash's buddies didn't have the heart to pick on her knowing she'd seen her uncle shot and held his hand as he died, helpless to do anything. She pulled herself together and two weeks later, and finally made her best friend out of Ned Leeds, generic friends with all the AcaDec girls, and at least acquaintances with the guys. Midtown decided she was not a cinnamon roll, but a gingersnap cookie from the Dollar Tree, like Seymour had once been dared to eat by a Brooklyn Visions' student back in middle school, when they had a kid from lower end Brooklyn who sold the cheap-ass things like damn drugs. Betty had told them they all needed to watch Ouran High School Host Club because they had the same energy as the Host Club drinking instant coffee, but everyone just took her word for it. Anyways, Peter. Dollar Tree gingersnaps. Tough as a Chips Ahoy cookie in light blue packaging, but not crumbly at all, and horribly sweet and spicy all at once.

Two years had been difficult, but survivable, until Thanos.

Plenty of people got fucked by the Decimation and the Blip. Half of the universe had died and returned five years later. A sixteenth of Earth's human occupants had been killed by factors associated with appearing and disappearing. An estimated fourth of all lives had been left in ruins with no way to restart. Not a single person went unaffected. Peter Parker though, she really could not catch a break.

No one outside of Flash's crew didn't believe Peter's having a Stark Internship. Therefore, learning that she had been at Stark's funeral due to being a close companion of his - and seemingly the girl out of the "girl and Spider-Man" who he had saved half the universe for, according to Ms. Potts-Stark directly, was a good sign as to the hurt she was feeling.

It was Thursday afternoon, and Mr. Mounts didn't care what they did this afternoon, because they had a paper due on Friday and half of a class in specialty Tech school that had an entrance exam who were taking AP Lit a year early had already turned in their papers. Mr. Mounts was a smart man, and a great teacher, but he was not technically inclined. He did not care though, so they all saw his YouTube views projected onto the Promethean Board with the noise up. That meant there was no stopping if the viewing of an ad — sort of.

A live news channel cut off the video with an announcement, the scene of a man who had lost it as a direct result of the Decimation and Blip completely ruining his old life during an appointment with the Maria Stark Foundation trying to help him get a new one on track. He'd gone absolutely psychotic, murdering the innocent charity worker, and setting himself loose on the streets. The news was warning of him being loose still and mourning the middle-aged woman now dead, by displaying a nice picture of her from the Maria Stark Foundation. Peter had announced, "I'm going to puke," and bolted out of the room. Ned and MJ had been on her heels, and the rest of the class was in shock.

"Oh Jesus Fuck," Sally finally said. And yeah, that was fair, because Flash knew that face as well as the rest of the AcaDec kids. It was the face of the sweet lady who once brought them Belgian Cream Pie straight from the German Bakery down the street from her apartment; she had got it at half-price because the owner's son was thoroughly charmed and the owner thought she would make an excellent daughter-in-law and that was deserving of half-priced pie even though he knew it was never going to happen.

There's a knock on the door, which opens to reveal Principal Morita looking very depressed and trying not to cry - "I need to borrow Miss Parker - oh fucking shit," he hisses.

"She went to the bathroom to puke, Sir. With Michelle Jones and Ned Leeds."

Somehow, the day only gets crazier. Everyone knows by the time Peter is safely tucked away in Mr. Morita's office, with the police officer who had to deliver the news, Mr. Morita, MJ, and Ned. The only people to go in or out is the secretary - who sends messages to the three students' teachers, as if they aren't tuned into the rumor mill - and a social worker.

MJ and Ned are sent to fetch lunch so the social worker can talk to Peter with only adults.

"Peter?... Do you have any other family you can contact? We... Uh, we tried the contact left in case of this type of horrible event, but given the nature of the contact, we couldn't get a call through -" the social worker pauses, "If not, we have options. Good homes that want a beautiful, brilliant girl like you."

"I'm sorry about that, Ma'am, but I'm sure you're aware that phone lines are a bit risky where my family is concerned. I can as soon as I heard," Pepper Potts-Stark announces as she brushes into the room. A mild-looking man follows her in, his red and white cane rattling as he swipes if in front of him. "And this is Miss Parker's lawyer, Matthew Murdock."

"I hate that we have to meet in such dismal circumstances."

"Oh, Honey," Pepper coos sadly to Peter, sinking down beside her and setting off another round of tears. "I know, Baby, let it all out, I know."

Chapters 2 and 3 up now!

[starryevermore]

paradise island: a review

A note before we begin: everything above the cut will be spoiler free and will just be my general feelings about the story as a whole, the writing, and if I’d recommend it. Everything below the cut will include spoilers to explain my feelings about the story.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Visiting the North Shore had been a bizarre and unsettling experience, to say the least, but when they got home after vacation was over, he was going to suggest to Colby that they make a video about it.

Hell, no. Even better. Write a book. Videos melted away after a while, but a book? Books and stories solidified on the conscious mind forever. (91-92)

Overall, I enjoyed this book. I generally enjoy stories like this, but there were a few moments throughout the novel where things just fell a bit flat. 

While I was reading, I made a few notes, the first being that there was a weird juxtaposition between talking about more adult topics (drinking, women, sex, etc.) but in an odd, almost kid-friendly way. Some of the word choices were interesting, such as constant use of “fancy-pants”, “hottie”, “goofball”, “oddball”, and “doofus”, as well as the one moment where Colby said he hated “dicky” people and the moment where Sam said Colby was about to have an “emo-ruption”. (Though I did laugh a lot longer than I should have at “emo-ruption”.) It felt like they were still trying to make the story appropriate for their younger fans by using more kid-friendly language, while also appealing to their older fans by being like “look!! we drink!! and ooh look, we talked about smoking weed 👀🤪”. I wish they would’ve committed to one or the other, because it added an odd sense of disjointedness to the story that could’ve been easily resolved.

The other big thing I made note of was that there was a lot of “tell, not show” throughout. There’s a heavy focus on dialogue to progress the story rather than seeing into the boys�� inner thoughts and using other means to find out information. (I’m not one to talk, though, since I also focus more on dialogue than description.) It sometimes made it difficult to fully get into the story. I struggled with developing a picture of what the Belle Estate looked like, or what the other characters (beside SNC, Nate, and Alex) looked like. In terms of the boys, it seemed very reliant on us knowing who Sam and Colby are and what they’re all about (which is fair, since probably 99.9% of people who bought the book are fans of them but, if they want success outside of their audience, it could’ve been more descriptive in that regard). 

As for the big twist at the end, it was a bit lackluster. I’ll go more in detail on this in the “spoiler section”, but it kind of diminished everything that had happened throughout the story and left me wondering “what was the point?”. 

I was excited when I’d heard that the story was told through both Sam and Colby’s POVs, but, I’ll be honest, I saw little difference between Sam’s chapters than Colby’s chapters. The most difference was the almost stereotypical portrayal of Sam being the logical one while Colby being the emotional one. Aside from that, they were almost indistinguishable from me and I often had to flip back to the start of a chapter to remind myself of who’s head I was in.

Since that was all critical, here’s some things I did like:

I feel like, while the inner monologues were a bit lacking, Gaby did make up for it by making the dialogue between the boys really realistic to them. In this regard, she really nailed the portrayal of them. 

The depiction of the paranormal things was really great. I feel like those parts were the ones I could get most into the story. The way Gaby wrote them was so interesting and pulled me in. I wish there was more of these moments throughout the story, because I think they really showcased who Gaby is as a writer.

The convo where Colby called Sam “Velma” and then Nate asked if Colby was “Fred”? I really enjoyed that because (a) Scooby is my favorite thing in the whole world and (b) I chose Sam and Colby be Velma and Fred in my moodboards a month ago so just a lil fun moment for me.

Just how meta the book was. Like, the quote I included at the top? I laughed for way too long when I read that. 

There was a nice sense of nostalgia throughout, specifically when they brought up their YouTube channel, their Vine days, them being arrested, wining a Teen Choice Award, and Corey and the Shadowman. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and reminded me of how proud I am for how far they’ve come.

*slight spoiler here* Speaking of being arrested, there was a moment where SNC were contemplating escaping to the beach and they had a conversation if it was worth being arrested again. I really loved that, especially with how much fans joke about them inevitably being arrested again.

This is more for the person who designed the cover, but holy shit?? I loved it so much?? 

I don’t know if I would have picked this book up if it didn’t have Sam and Colby’s name attached to it. I will say, though, I finished the book in one sitting, which is pretty rare for me nowadays, so it was engaging. I think, overall, it was a great story with a great concept but it could’ve been fleshed out more. In some ways, it almost felt like this was a draft rather than a completed novel. 

That being said, for SNC’s first book and Gaby’s first time working with the boys, it exceeded my expectations. If they were to continue writing books together, I imagine it will get better and better as they get more used to each other and potentially open up more so that their characters become a more accurate depiction of them.

Overall, the book’s not something you really need to race out to get. I think, if you have a gift card or there’s some sort of deal or you need to spend a little more to get free shipping, it wouldn’t hurt to pick up Paradise Island. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t a great, top-tier novel in my opinion. That being said, if you do pick it up, I think you will enjoy the book.

Spoiler Avenue

The characterization of all four of the boys is a bit 2D. Sam’s logical and wants to keep the peace, Colby’s emotional and more of a wildcard, Nate’s focused on his schoolwork and flexing his vocabulary, and Alex? Well, I couldn’t get a good read on Alex until he sells out SNC at the end of the novel and even then, he didn’t feel so much like his own character, more like someone just present to further the plot.

Speaking of characters, the introduction of Trey was...meh. I wish we could’ve gotten more insight on why Colby was so adamant about not liking Trey and why Nate was so gung ho to ditch their plans to go to the North side of the island for this guy they barely knew. Finding out that Colby didn’t like Trey because he said college was the only way to success was such an odd thing? Like, undoubtedly there’s been many people who would’ve said that, so does Colby also dislike everyone who’s said that or is there a more specific reason he didn’t like Trey? Just...👏🏻 more 👏🏻 inner 👏🏻 thoughts 👏🏻 please 👏🏻 and 👏🏻 thank 👏🏻 you 👏🏻 

@golbrocklovely​ brought this up in her review but Colby’s fixation on the  mermaid statue of a 16-year-old was really odd. It probably wouldn’t have been as odd if Amy was aged up a bit to 18, but as a 16-year-old with the descriptions that were given? Yeah...not the vibe.

I also wasn’t a fan of how so many things plot-wise was just...told to the boys. They could’ve found some newspaper clippings or something, anything to make them put in a little bit of detective work. But for so much information to just be handed to them? It got old, and almost lazy. 

The big twist being that all of the paranormal stuff they’d encountered being a hallucination? God, that was so fucking annoying (though I did go back afterwards from the moment that they first arrived at the Belle Estate—starting as early as page 36—and it felt incredibly obvious knowing now that it was all drugs, so props to Gaby for dropping that many hints early on). To spend so much time making all of this scary shit happen just to turn around and say “HAHA JK THE BOYS WERE JUST TRIPPING BALLS” was such a cop out. It would’ve been more terrifying for it all to be real, make the boys question their beliefs and the reality of there being something out there that they didn’t quite understand. Though, there is something terrifying about not knowing you’ve been drugged and having hallucinated that vividly, but I feel like it didn’t quite fit in with the story. 

Alex betraying the boys? So interesting! This was one of the few things that made sense in terms of them being drugged. But then when he was betrayed when Pauahi (who’s name was misspelled a few different times in the book) escaped? Ugh, amazing. We love instant karma like that. 

Going back to the “tell not show” thing, I wish the sacrifice at the end would’ve been more detailed. For all of the paranormal stuff to be written off as a drug-induced hallucination, I would’ve loved if Gaby had leaned more into the horror of being used in a human sacrifice. There was more of a focus on Colby bargaining for his life, which is fair, but I would’ve loved to see more of the pure terror there.

That being said, the way Trey finally snapped out of it? *chef’s kiss* Loved that shit so much. And I loved the fact that Trey stayed behind in the end. It added a nice eeriness to the story that had been lacking since they debunked the paranormal shit as being hallucinations. 

Again, going back to my overall, thoughts, I enjoyed the book in general. Some things could’ve been fleshed out a bit more to reach its full potential. I wish they leaned more into the paranormal aspect and had more descriptions to balance out all of the dialogue, but other than that, I did enjoy the book and don’t regret buying it.