#you look unreal

[crabussy]

reblog for a larger sample size and to reduce sample bias!!

[shepscapades]

[PART 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

A young Xolotl and the strange build he’s spotted across the water from his starter builds! I wonder what it could be… how mysterious!

[lifemod17]

HEAR ME OUT!

📸: Ruthlessimagery

[leclercari]

Anne Hathaway in The Idea of You (2024) dir. Michael Showalter

[ink-the-artist]

hi! hope you’re having a good day/night. wondering if you had any tip for achieving phosphorescence/fluorescence with colored pencils? i’ve been getting back into drawing after a long art block and wanted to draw some glow in the dark toys but i’ve been struggling to give a good actual green glow on a dark background. thought i’d ask since you’re incredible with colored pencil!

oh prismacolor neon colored pencils are perfect for this, they only have 3 colors (orange, yellow, and pink) but i think this is the closest thing to what ur describing that ive used in my own art

some of these are more subdued than others, i blend the neon color and a regular color (the neon pencils also have harder lead so are good for blending with) it creates this really nice underglow that i cant achieve with the regular colors. the more subtle ones have less of the neon color blended in and the brighter ones have more. the neon colors are really bright and vibrant it surprised me the first time i used one. my scanner does not pick up neon colors tho (idk if all scanners are like that) so I have to photograph the art instead whenever i use neon colors

im sure other brands have neon colors u can do this with (and other mediums too) this is just what i do

[bread--quest]

It's 2012 somewhere. Welcome.... to Night Vale Tumblr.

👁️ nvcr-official

Hi guys! I'm Intern Sarah! Excited to be joining you all!

👁️ nvcr-official

To the friends and family of Intern Sarah, she was a good intern and social media manager, and we are sorry to see her go. We will work to find a new intern as soon as possible.

83 notes

🦉 dark-owl-records

CALL OUT POST FOR CECIL PALMER

hes gotten away with shit for too long and im sick of it. tl;dr horrific intern mistreatment with no compensation, mountain denier, homophobic

keep reading

❌ number-one-moonhater Follow

Hey uh. Aren't you a company account? Why are you posting this

🦉 dark-owl-records

L + ratio + god forbid women do anything + your music taste is trash

🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow

Isn't Cecil literally gay?

🦉 dark-owl-records

he's homophobic

🪼 jeebyfish Follow

he has a husband...

🦉 dark-owl-records

yeah and he won't fucking shut up about it

2,500 notes

🤫 cecils-private-blog

Carlos hasn't liked any of my woodcarving posts in THREE DAYS!! I'm so scared what if he's going to break up with me :((

👁️ nvcr-official

Cecil he's your husband he's not breaking up with you. also this isn't a private blog you just put private in the url

🤫 cecils-private-blog

HOW DID YOU SEE THIS

4 notes

🏜️ sandeater Follow

tamika flynn spotted in ralph's dairy aisle "slaying" the milk

🦂 scorpiansscuttle Follow

op i know this is a joke but one time i was in the ralphs dairy aisle and there was some butter up on a really high shelf and someone said "don't worry, i'll get it" and i turned around and it was fucking tamika flynn

☁️ average-weather-enjoyer Follow

fake story :/

📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram

No it's true I was there

🚂 traintonowhere Follow

TAMIKA FLYNN??

🏜️ sandeater Follow

what the fuck is happening on my post

8,345 notes

👁️ nvcr-official

can you guys please stop sending cecil weird shit... i don't want to have to explain to my boss what a dilf is

27 notes

🐚 mariella-shella

Hey guys!! Sorry for the lack of posts recently! I entered a hole in the wall and when I got out I realized I didn't know how long I'd been in there, or where I was, or who I am, and I'm not sure that I'm still the person who entered that hole however long ago. Anyway, the normal posting schedule will resume as soon as I remember what my normal posting schedule was, and if I'm still the person who had that posting schedule!

🌪️ sandstorm-gf Follow

omg mariella!!! missed u so much girl glad ur back!

🐚 mariella-shella

i miss me too

42 notes

😎 Anonymous asked: Response to the homophobic allegations?

🎙️ cecilpalmer

Huh??

🎙️ cecilpalmer

@nvcr-official What does this mean? Is it new slang?

👁️ nvcr-official

uhhhh dont worry about it buddy

50 notes

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

hey guys im in quarantine for eating wheat and wheat byproducts uh...send asks?? i might be in here for a while lmaooo

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

oh lights in the sky its been 5 years since i made this post

☁️ glowcloudapologist Follow

how's it going op

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

i miss my family

506 notes

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

hey if anyone remembers anything about the person running this blog can you tell me? trying to recover the fragments of my identity from the void of memory lol

🥔 potato-enthusiast Follow

you were really hot

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

FUCK YEAHHHHHH

89 notes

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

just a reminder that new residents of east night vale are fully welcome to interact with this blog!!!! you will not be harassed and any hate will be blocked. this blog is safe even if this town isn't sometimes <3

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

This is so sweet, thank you so much! Just so you know, even though it's officially called East Night Vale now, a lot of people still call it Desert Bluffs! Just thought you might want to know :)

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

i'm not calling it that sorry

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

What??? Why??

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

just kind of sucks. as a name

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

?????????

170 notes

🐄

⬜️ kentuckymeatshower_deactivated11051983

what does this mean....

🌌 cece-xeze Follow

another great post from huntokar herself

16,683 notes

🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow

🌲 little-miss-ectoplasm Follow

you don't like pine cliff? 👻 oo ooo?

👁️ nvcr-official

NIGHT VALE SWEEEEEP

806 notes

😁 the-happy-smiler Follow

Hi everyone!! Since Twitter went down, I figured I'd try my hand at this Tumblr thing! I'm so excited to meet all of you!! Hope you're ready for some pictures of CENTIPEDES!! Feel free to AMA about the Smiling God!

👁️ nvcr-official

I

🦉 dark-owl-records

N

🎙️ cecilpalmer

T

📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram

E

🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow

R

🚂 traintonowhere Follow

L

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

O

🌌 cece-xeze Follow

P

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

E

🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow

R

21,983 notes

[ja3yun]

lads, it is OVER for me, i've had such a good time, loved every minute of being alive but this is the end of me

[fairylando]

somebody needs to study the gargantuan levels of cunt carlos used to serve at tororosso .. this is literally the peak embodiment of "the devil's favorite prince", "il diavolo rosso".

he is lucifer, the morning star.

he is the planet venus.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

pheromones

words: 1.1k

warnings: 18+ only! smut, male receiving oral, idk if this is a warning but talk about his soft penis???

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog

“ive missed you so so much.” you tell rafe, arms wrapped around his shoulders, your face stuck into his neck, inhaling his scent that you've been devoid of all day.

“missed you too baby.” rafe rubs his hands over your back before picking you up, letting your legs cross over his waist while his hands grip your bum to hold you up as he walks into the kitchen, setting you down on the countertop.

“how was work?” you hum, not really interested in how his day went, you're too distracted by his smooth deep voice and the way his hands move as he prepared a sandwich for himself, always needing a little something to eat after he gets home from a long day.

“baby, are you even listening?” rafe questions, making your eyes shoot up to his face as he takes a bite of his sandwich.

you blush, knowing you've been caught. “im sorry.”

rafe laughs gently, moving between your legs as he finishes his sandwich, letting you pet your hands all over him, his thickly muscled arms, smooth planes of his cheeks, and wide strong chest.

you lean in once he finishes the sandwich, pressing your nose against his chest and inhaling, the unique scent of musk filling your head.

“come here.” rafe hums, hands coming to cup your jaw, tilting your head up to press a strong kiss against your lips. you immediately deepen it, tilting your head and pressing your chest against rafes as your mouth works against his.

rafe pulls away far too early for your liking, making you whine.

“oh shush baby.” rafe says, but the smile on his face shows that he's not mad at all, even if you are being a little bratty. “im gonna go shower.”

“nooo.” you grip onto his hand as he starts to move away.

“no?” rafe questions.

you sigh. you obviously have no problem with rafe being clean, but you also hate that the shower removes his natural scent, replacing it with whatever body wash you currently have in stock. it's an artificial scent, and while still good, it's nothing compared to rafes natural odor after all of that has worn off.

“i wanna suck you.” you simply say, sliding off the counter and onto your knees.

rafe smiles down at you, his hand coming to pet your cheek. “you're a desperate little thing, arent you?” rafe questions, and you're worried he's going to deny you, but he just takes your hand and helps you stand. “i don't want you to bruise your knees on the tile when we have that event on friday. you can suck me off in the living room.”

rafe leads you onto the carpeted floor, much softer so your skin wouldn't turn purple. you slide to your knees again, hands immediately coming to his pants, working the button and zipper open before tugging them down. rafe places his hands on his hips, looking down at you as you grip the band of his underwear, pulling it down to his knees next.

rafes cock is still soft, making you smile. you love when you get to bring him to hardness. you dont waste any time touching with your hands, wanting him in your mouth immediately.

when rafe is soft it's the only time you can fit him comfortably inside of your mouth. you take a deep breath of his scent, so intoxicating your mouth waters as you suck on his soft dick, your eyes rolling back in your head at the smooth pliable skin, tongue rubbing over his length.

“my pretty girl just couldn't resist, huh?” rafe questions, hands smoothing over your hair as he looks down at you, a loving gaze in his eyes despite the lewd nature of your actions.

“i love when your cock is soft like this.” you hum, licking over the shaft as it hardens under your tongue.

“you like it soft?” rafe laughs, hand gripping your hair as he guides your teasing kisses back to the head of his cock. you seperate your lips, taking it back into his mouth.

“mhm.” you nod, humming around his cock, your hand coming to grip the base of his length, stroking as you continue to suckle on the head. 

“but what about all the things i can do to you when im hard?” rafe questions, groaning when you pull off to answer, but your hand quickly makes up for it as you grip his now hardened length.

“i love that too, obviously. it's just so cute all soft.” you smile gently, looking at his cock lovingly.

“you are silly, babygirl.” rafe says, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead.

“i just love everything about you. everything about you is hot and cute and adorable and sexy and-”

“baby.” rafe cuts off your rambling, looking down at you expectantly. “you were sucking me off.”

“oh right, sorry!” you giggle, making up for the lapse in blowing him by taking his cock as deeply down your throat as you can, bobbing your head immediately, closing your eyes to concentrate on making him cum as quickly as possible, needing his flavor on your tongue.

“your mouth is spectacular.” rafe groans, hands gripping your hair, guiding you up and down his cock, knowing exactly how deep he can press before it's too much for you.

you pull off to blink up at rafe. “spectacular? really?” you giggle.

“shut up.” rafe groans, rolling his eyes with a smile playing at his lips. he shoves you back onto his cock, now beginning to thrust his hips as well to meet you, not caring when you cough or gag slightly.

“gonna cum in your mouth.” rafe says, and you nod slightly, humming around his cock as he continues fucking into your awaiting mouth. you suck as deeply as you can, anxious for his warm seed to spread along your tongue.

rafe releases with a groan, pushing his cock down your throat for the first couple spurts before pulling back, letting you suckle on the head of his cock while licking out every drop that you can.

you pull away to stick your tongue out for rafe, letting him see the mess of cum on your tongue before nodding to let you swallow it, which you do happily.

“can i go shower now baby?” rafe asks, helping you stand up as you stretch out your sore legs, but no bruises grace your knees.

“if i can shower with you.” you say, not ready to part from your boyfriend yet.

“if i can fuck you in the shower.” rafe says, laughing when you nod enthusiastically.

[theminecraftbee]

Wels hums as he walks through the shopping district. He doesn't need much, but with the recent release of Overlord, he wants to hear if any of the establishments are playing it. He doesn't expect it somewhere like the Permit Office--Grian's spent too much time and money getting a song that was as perfectly annoying to be put on hold to as possible--and if it is playing in the log shop, he will laugh. But music tends to spread around Hermitcraft fast, and sure, this isn't about anything specific, but who's gonna miss a good opportunity to dunk on Doc?

He hears the backing beats from a nearby shop and hums along with them, walking down the path--

--then turns a corner and leaps back.

"You," Wels hisses.

Hello. Awfully rude of you not to include me, you know, says the specter.

"No, there's absolutely no reason for you to be here. None at all!" Wels says, throwing his hands up. "The last time I saw you was--gosh, I don't even know. Season Seven?"

Yes, yes, and the only time you saw me, you aren't lying to yourself at all, the specter says agreeably. Come on. We both know I was haunting you for what little of Season Eight you bothered to be around for.

"If you were on Eight then you super shouldn't be here," Welsknight says. He shakes his head and looks up at the shop playing his song. Joel's? Huh. Wouldn't have thought he'd have a reason to make fun of Doc. Welsknight removes his shaking hand from his sword hilt again and starts walking.

On account of you leaving everyone there to die, yes, we're both aware, the specter says.

"Oh, screw you, you wouldn't have done any different, get new material," Wels says. "Also, you aren't real? You're like, all of my insecurities or whatever. You don't even have a real body right now, no one's made you one."

The specter shrugs. I mean, if I'm the worst parts of yourself, really, you're the one who needs better material. Abandoning all your friends to die and then abandoning them altogether--it's a wonder they let you stick around!

Wels rolls his eyes and forces his hand to stay out of his inventory. Wouldn't do to give away that still even gets him. He peaks at another shop. They're playing the song too, but it's ever-so-slightly out of sync, which is kind of terrible. As he does, Cleo waves at him. Their eyes sort of stutter right past Helsknight, which definitively tells him exactly how much body the specter even has to possess right now.

"I'm actually having a great time with my friends this season, so like, the whole 'abandonment' song and dance isn't going to work this time. Started the season with them and everything; hard to even go for 'they'll forget me at the first opportunity' or whatever."

The thing is, the more Wels says it, the more its true. None of the insecurities and pain points that the specter is echoing back at him are what he was actually thinking about. He's been like... fine? Sure, he's definitely still got repressed negative traits, but nothing like "Xisuma's evil twin brother playing around with his head" or "the moon crashing and killing everyone" or "too depressed and burnt out to get out of bed" or "sort of considering abandoning everyone because that's like, his thing" these days. None of the things that should bring the specter that had haunted him since Beef's cloning machine back to him without a body. But Wels is careful about clones outside of something like Vault Hunters, where they're explicitly under his control. He, like, doesn't even armor stand much. So that can't be this either; Helsknight clearly doesn't have a body to be messing with Wels yet!

...Helsknight doesn't even have a body or an actual insecurity to be poking at Wels with yet.

He stops. He puts his hands in his pockets, and turns around to face Helsknight. He is no longer shaking at all.

"Dude, why are you even here?" Wels asks.

I told you, it was rude to leave me out, Helsknight says.

"What," Wels says.

The final bars of Overlord play over the speakers. Welsknight hums and nods before it suddenly clicks.

"What," Wels says again.

Honestly, you're not normally this much of a moron. It was rude to leave me out. Rapping is also my thing.

"Dude," Wels says.

I could totally destroy Docm77 any day. I would obliterate the fool you call a "friend" in ways you cannot comprehend. You invoke a sacrificial goat? I know ways he'd never recover, gods he'd never be able to retrieve himself from. It would be laughable. And you left me out.

Wels stares at the demon from his nightmares.

"You're mad at me because you didn't get to be in my diss track," Wels says.

You let me be in the last one, Helsknight says.

"Dude," Wels says. "Dude, that's pathetic."

Helsknight sniffs. I'm your worst qualities. What does that say about you.

"I didn't even write this for this season," Wels says.

That makes it worse, Helsknight says.

"I don't even know where to start? For one--no, I still don't even know where to start," Wels says. "This is like, the lamest reason you could possibly have to come haunt me. Go away, I'm basking in my like, top 3 charting hit on the Hermitcraft server."

Top three? Pathetic. There are only three songs. You'd be the top song if you'd simply included my power, Helsknight says.

"I can't beat the streaming minutes Grian puts on that hold--look, uh, dude. You're, uh, a very scary representation of my fears and worst qualities and all. Appreciate that. Next time I need to do a diss track, I don't know, maybe I'll invite you? First you've got to stop appearing solely to make my life worse, though. Bring me a cookie or something. I don't know, whatever demons do."

I'm not a demon, I'm a Shadow. We're different, Helsknight says. ...I'll think about it.

When Wels turns the next corner, Helsknight has vanished again. Wels stops in the middle of the street, looks around, confirms the specter has vanished, and then bursts out laughing.

"What the Hels," he says, somehow feeling lighter and more bemused than before. That's a new feeling with his doppleganger. Then, he goes to visit Big Wood. While Doc definitely isn't playing the song of his own accord, Wels figures that Beef just might, and given the day he's having, that would feel like a kind of irony Wels isn't sure how to describe. Besides, he wants to see if Doc will notice if Wels sets the song on loop or something. What can he say--the man's reactions to being taunted are spectacular, and Wels loves seeing them. Call it a bad quality of his or something.

[unorcadox]

I wake up and think to myself: “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

I hope you do too.

[lordandladywhistledown]

Colin is stronger than me because if I saw the girl I was in love with dance with someone else while smiling like that ??? I'd have a meltdown in the middle of the ball or maybe turn over a table or two (or five)

[lifemod17]

SIR why are you making those faces during Like Real People Do?? RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD.

[wiisagi-maiingan]

I say this with the utmost patience and kindmess but if you make fun of people using unreality tags, you're ableist.

[realpokemon]

if i feed my steel types brass will they become golden? don't have the money for actual gold unfortunately

misleadingly, not all steel types are made of steel. also, unless your pokémon is already molten, i wouldn't suggest trying to make an alloy out of it.

actually, i wouldn't make an alloy out of ANY pokémon.

that's just me though.

[uncanny-tranny]

Attention: If you or a trans loved one been subject to an awful haircut given by a cis barber or hair stylist, you may be entitled to financial compensation. Exposure to these stylists in hair salons, barbershops, or other places of business have been linked to a greater level of dissatisfaction with one's personal appearance after a hair cut. Please don't wait, our team of dedicated lawyers will council you with complete legal discretion.