#you people are seriously unwell like this is so SICK.

[mizzmellos]

😐🤨

[finalgirlmoment]

Noteworthy details about the first two PJOTV episodes (spoilers)

First of all, every single of them ATE DOWN. just wanted to throw that out there, i'm so so impressed with the cast, everyone was perfect and gorgeous and i'm completely sat for any and all future installments. A fine piece of media. Let's begin.

Percy's confusion and bewilderment finding out that he's a demigod. "You fell in love with God.... like, Jesus????" LMFAO but seriously his frustration in this moment, thinking there's something actually wrong with his brain, feeling lost and confused and hurt and BROKEN. the struggle in that moment is so relatable to people discovering they have some sort of mental illness or neurodivergence, especially when they weren't believed/listened to etc and i think walker played this part beautifully

GROVER AND PERCY PLAYING MYTHOMAGIC TOGETHER. GROVER AND PERCY PLAYING MYTHOMAGIC TO TRAIN PERCY. I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING OFF ROOFTOPS THE IMPLICATIONS THAT THIS HAS???? ARE YOU ACTUALLY JOKING??????? IMAGINE SEASON 3 PERCY FINDS NICO AND THEY HAVE THIS IN COMMON???????????!?!?!?!?!? FEELING SEVERELY FRANTIC AND MASSIVELY UNWELL ABOUT THIS

luke's empathy towards Percy throughout-- his apologies for what happened to his mother at the bottom of Half Blood Hill, him telling P that he relates to the nightmares, the restlessness, the ADHD..... so fucking sick and fucking twisted, I will be sobbing at the ending, gorgeous job on both ends on making this relationship feel very warm and authentic and the trust starting to build. this will H U R T.

CLARISSE. she's so gorgeous and vindictive. Her beauty took me off guard initially, but she's such a spiteful little badass that I completely fell in love with her. I CANNOT WAIT to see more of her characterization, especially into season two. perfection.

Percy burning the blue jelly beans- the thing he'd miss most- out in the middle of the woods at night in a damn can, just to pray to his MOTHER. *sobbing intensifies* i couldn't ask for a more sweet, heartfelt, honest moment. the perfect addition. 10s across the board

Percy's ANGER. OH BOY this was one of my most favorite parts. I feel like we see Percy as a very happy-go-lucky kid altogether but I loved, LOVED to see his frustration and agitation from the very beginning. Everything is so confusing and foreign and all he knows is that 1. he's been betrayed or left behind by everyone he knows and 2. he's been ignored his whole life by his godly parent. His mission is to MAKE HIS DAD SEE PERCY, at ANY COST. Before he even knows who his dad is. He is entitled to feel ALL of this anger and hurt and resentment!!!!!!!

Annabeth calling Percy "sunshine". TOTAL CULTURAL RESET. I gasped. The dawn of a new age of Percabeth. I will be screaming into my pillow about this for the foreseeable future.

The entire characterization of Percy throughout the capture the flag scene. His contrast of being just a kid- flossing (lol), peeing the woods, petting a gecko, just vibing and hanging out VS. being thrown suddenly into attack from his peers that don't care about the rules, surprising himself and everyone around him with his finesse in battle, quick instincts, swordsmanship..... i'm weak fr. I can't wait to see him grow, train, become stronger and more confident.

Overall, I'm entirely floored and beyond happy. I can't wait to see more. 10/10

[1800-lemonadeg1rl]

Sniffle any louder

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆

Summary - when you show up to work il lit aggravates Natasha that is until she sees your dire state

Warnings - mention of illness, nonsexual nudity, hurt comfort, as usual not proofread

Word count - 2k

A/n - I started rushing at the end because I wanted to have it out by tonight so the ending might not be as good srry

Fractures of pain shot through your aching body like icicles as you left the team meeting. God how you wished you'd just admitted you were ill this morning instead of letting your pride get in the way and pretended to the team that you were right as rain. I guess that's what happens when your on a team with literal super soldiers, you too start believing your above any illness or injury. Oh, but how wrong you realised you were when this flu hit you like a ton of bricks. The combined migraine alongside with the distrsssing chill of your bones left little energy left for you to do anything except lie down and rest, which you hated to admit and wouldn't ever given the choice, despite how sickly you'd begun to look.

Your usual bright eyes full of life and wonder became dull and bloodshot from the lack of sleep your blocked nose had caused you the previous night when you chose to ignore it. The skin on your face that was often painted a rosy colour now paled almost deathly looking, comparable to that of a ghost. Your unshakable senses, often remarked as some of the best had become overworked and dulled from the sickness using up all your remaining energy causing you not to notice people around you until they had begun to speak. The gravelly gasping and choking noises that spluttered from your inflamed throat were foreign to your usual bubbly voice.

Despite these stark and clear changes in not only your physical appearance but also how you carried yourself around the compound you had tricked yourself, somehow, into the belief no one around you would notice. Obviously you were unwell anyone could see that from a mile off and if you didn't think out of a house full of spies, enhanced beings and military personnel that not one of them would pick up on something up with you then you must have been seriously down with something.

Unlucky for you someone did notice after your sniffling had interupted their train of thought for the seventh time, it didn't take a genuis but she'd been ignoring the signs since you arrived. Natasha Romanoff had been trying to reread and correct a badly written mission report written by an incompetent intern. This had already been stressful enough for her without the woman next to her trying to desperately through her blocked nose instead of just going home. The first time she actually noticed something was up was when you nearly walked into the door, stumbling around like bambi on ice. This was something someone with your spacial awareness and high senses would never manage to do if they were as okay as they were telling everyone they were. She spotted it again when you began to cough like a smoker and at that like someone who smoked at least five packs a day, a thing she knew you were not. You'd told her a while back that despite your bad habits which were endless and definitely on show today that you never wanted to smoke because it reminded you of your mother. So unless you'd switched up on that which she very much doubted and had taken up chain smoking the answer was clear; you were ill, very ill.

She also questioned why you were even here, how you were even here. Natasha would leap at the first chance to avoid these dull meetings even if it meant admitting illness to the rest of the group. She'd actually faked being ill before to skip debriefs and instead head to the gym. At one point she had no clue how you were even still able to be alive and functioning with how shallow your breaths were. Everytime your mouth opened a disgusting noise alike to the disgust she felt at nails on a chalk board rung from deep in your throat. Aswell your ever scratcher voice that was beginning to drive her insane. It was one thing to come in sick, it was another to make yourself more ill by working harder than usual.

This had made her angry more than anything, angry at your selflessness. Angry no one else would ever do this, including herself. Angry you put working above your own physical health. Angry that you'd risk everyone else getting ill instead of taking a sick day. Angry you couldnt just admit your illness and leave.

Your eighth sniffle really sent Natasha over the edge as she turned to look dead at you and gave you a menacingly dirty look. A scowl that could kill glowering into your soul. Yet in feverly state you could hardly even register the spy looking in your direction as you still tried to process something said in conversation several minutes ago. Throughout the rest of the meeting she sideyed, scowled, gritted teeth, frowned, muttered under breath and cursed in your direction much to you ignorance. On an average day you could recognise what emotion someone was going through just by being in the same room as them and the tone of their breath but right now even with Natasha directly next you, practically right in your face you couldn't pick up a single negative emotion.

After the meeting you quickly stumbled in the direction of your room, hoping to avoid anyone on the way there, which you managed with much ease despite your worsening condition. Once you reached your room you shut the door without bothering with the lock. Stripped to your underwear and crawled back into bed without a sound. Curling up under your soft thick duvets you shivered and slowly cried yourself into a feverish slumber.

Natasha stayed behind to finish her reports, which she easily could have done hours ago without your incessant coughing and sniffling and all round ill noises. It only infuriated her more as she worked quickly, alone and welcoming the silence since the end of the meeting. When she finished up the work she was just about ready to give you a piece of her mind. And thats what she was gonna do. She had strong feelings about you prioritisation of work over wellness and she was gonna share them with you whether you wanted to hear or not.

Easily, she threw open your door and it hit the wall with a bang, enraged she didnt notice your crumpled whimpering figure writhing under the duvet.

"Sniffle a little louder next meeting." She comments loudly and sarcastically before instantly wincing at the sight of you in the bed.

Instantly her whole demeanour changes into one of care and pure unhidden worry. Natasha crouched over your trembling figure on the bed. Quickly she removed the pile of blankets from overtop and pressed a palm to your forhead before just as swiftly pulling it away with a frown. You were boiling 38°c at the very least and yet your body was still shivering. Without thinking twice Natasha knew the best thing for you was a cold, very cold shower.

She carried your somehow still sleeping figure easily into the bathroom as if you were no more than a light weight to her, which you probably were considering her max dead lift. Gently and ever so carefully she sat you down in the bath before turning the cool shower on next to you. Adjusting it so the water pressure was lower than usual so that it maybe less of a shock for when you fully woke.

Soon after the water began to flow your eyes opened to the hazy view before you. Natasha knelt over the bath making sure you were just alright. When you noticed the water and the bath, definitely not where you fall asleep you began to panic. Quickly flailing much like a fish out of water. Thrashing to get out the bath and attempting to scrabble to your feet. Natasha noticed your sudden frenzy and much quicker than you could, grabbed a hold of your hands halting your movements while whispering affirming words to you.

"Shh sh its okay. Your just in the bath, don't worry were just trying to soothe your fever." She begins to rub your palms slowly in a way which soothes you and instantly slows your panic as you go to rest your head on the bathroom wall.

"Hm don't do that darling. Try and stay awake while your in the bath, just for now." She's says quietly afraid to worsen the headache you already had as she coaxes your head off the wall. "That's it good girl. You can do this."

Her small praises would have usually annoyed you and felt almost condescending but right now they were almost enough to make you smile. She was making you feel as if your feeble attempts to stay conscious were really doing anything.

"M' so tired." You mumbled out a response that slumped together into your mouth so it was barely understandable to Natasha yet she still smiled and nodded at you, not wanting you to feel any worse than you already did.

"That's okay sweet girl, the sooner we get you out the bath and some medicine down you the sooner you can sleep." All the while she kept rubbing at your hands and fingers to keep you grounded in the moment. "I'm going to find you some fresh clothes just stay here."

You nodded but the minute Natasha left your head flopped back against the wall as if magnetised towards it. Upon her return with fresh clothes Natasha tutted.

"You really aren't well, are you?" A small attempt at a nod on your part did not surprise her one bit. "See if you told someone earlier we wouldn't be here right now. You have to ask for help when you need it." She knew her words meant little to you in your current state but she wanted to start bedding them in now nonetheless.

"Now, do you need help getting dressed? There's no shame in needing the help."

"Uhm.. I think a bit." Your response was croaky and your voice was beginning to sound worse by the second.

"That's okay, I'll help you then." She gives you a hand getting out the bath and holds you upright as she helps fully undress you. In her panic to get you in the bath she hadn't thought to remove what you were wearing.

You weren't insecure about your body but something like this would usually not be on with you. But right now you knew you couldn't refuse the help Natasha was offering as you could barely even stand still yourself. So begrudgingly you allowed her to undo your bra and slip off your underwear before tossing them in the bath saying something about getting them to the wash later. Putting on the fresh clothes was easier than either of you anticipated as you didn't resist and her strength helped you from falling against the cold tile floor.

Natasha helped you hobble back towards your bed which you instantly fell against ready to embrace sleep again.

"Ah. Not so quick, first the medicine then sleep." She said softly handing you first a couple pills and some water. "For your headache." Begrudgingly you took them and Natasha smiled as she saw the look of grimace on your face finding it both amusing and adorable. "Okay sweet girl just the syrup left, this will help for your throat." You stared at the syrup in your hand with a frown. Just the smell of its contents was enough to make you dry heave and its colour wasn't tempting either. After two minutes of more convincing and praise you managed to stomach it, not all of it but enough so Natasha was happy enough to stop bothering you.

You knew after that you could finally emmerse yourself in a blissful slumber and with little care curled up, face pressing into Natasha who watched over you as you slept making sure nothing interupted your much needed rest.

Tags: @wandasfifthwife @yanaromanov @idkwhatever580 @stayevildarling

[chaithetics]

Sticky Notes and Explorations

Pairing: Nathan Bateman x fem (afab) reader (reader has vaginismus) Word count: 4.8K Dividers by @saradika-graphics Warning: 18+ MDNI, smut, Nathan being Nathan-ish lol? Reader has vaginismus some paragraphs about that and mentions of dilators and pelvic physio. There are no other physical descriptions of reader other than afab body parts. Run on sentences, sorry! A/N: This is my first time writing Nathan so bear with me and be kind please, he's making me unwell 😭 brain fog is still bad post-surgery so if it's extra bad I'm sorry! Most of this wasn't proof read... Sorry! Really started to hate it after 2K words and almost deleted it whoops. Thank you to @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction for letting me talk about the Nathan thoughts Comments and reblogs are appreciated and encouraged 🫶 Please validate me.

Nathan’s brow furrowed and his face shifted into a scowl as he noticed a pale orange sticky note on an empty section of the wall, it was excluded from his mural of notes. It caught his attention,

disgustingly so, just as you knew it would. Physio, back in the afternoon :) was scrawled out in bright pink ink in your handwriting, it was a nauseating combination, he already felt a headache coming on and it had nothing to do with the beer he’d drunk last night. He’d still start another detox today, may as well he thought. 

It perplexed him why you’d gone in the first place and not because he didn’t take your health seriously, he did of course, just in his own unique Nathan way. It was more that Nathan just couldn’t understand why you’d want to leave the compound, he could have any medical practitioner, the best of the best, flown out to his estate to treat you. No waiting rooms with randos or sick people, wait times, bad radio music and ads to uncomfortably sit through. He could have any practitioner flown out and starting treatment or an examination at the snap of his fingers. 

You’d told Nathan several times now that despite how much he loved staying in the isolated compound, it was nice to leave sometimes and well… see people. It wasn’t something he could see the appeal in and it would be another conversation you’d have when you come back. 

Nathan wouldn’t say it but he also felt moodier as you’d elusively left bed without him knowing and he didn’t get a kiss. Well, he did, technically. After seeing your note he sat at his desk and watched the security footage, you’d kissed his forehead before he left which sure, might’ve been a sweet thought but he didn’t count it as you hadn’t woken him up, a real goodbye would’ve been thoughtful he mutters to himself. But you both know, he would’ve grumbled into the pillow if you’d woken him up but he still liked those moments, Nathan was just a brat who liked to act moody no matter what. 

It’s sprawling acres of luscious greenery below on the helicopter flight back, it always is but it still never ceases to amaze you when you see it. Nathan’s estate was large, the compound was isolated into its own bubble which was annoying at times you couldn’t fault him for choosing somewhere so rich in greens and tall trees to hide away in. 

It’s quiet when you finally go inside, minus the usual programmed notes that fill the air. The glass maze of the compound is filled with natural light, it makes the space feel warmer. When you could imagine it would easily feel unwelcoming and cold to anyone else who could walk these floors. 

Nathan tilts his head as he rounds a corner to stand in front of you as you walk in. 

“How did you sleep?” You take your shoes off as you ask. 

“Fine enough.” He then pinches the bridge of her nose. “You didn’t wake me.” 

It’s a statement but it almost feels like a question, you look away from your shoes to look at him and see his big brown eyes that make you smile and almost a pout on his lips. You offer him a small smile and nod as you walk more into the scientific home. 

 “You know, I can get someone to come here and do the appointments right?” 

“Yes, I know.” You smile softly and let out a small sigh, it’s a conversation you have each week, his lack of awareness is borderline amusing. “But I like her, she’s great.” 

“I don’t know if you realise this…” He tilts his head and waves his hands sarcastically as if he’s going to reveal something life changing. “But I can pay her to come out here, there’s a functioning helicopter, you’re familiar with it.” 

“I don’t know if you realise this,” you chuckle at the bluntness of his words and try to speak with the exact same sarcastic tone as his. “But sometimes, it can be nice to leave the compound…” You bite your lip playfully as you take your coat off. 

“Well, now I know you’re sick, really sick and obviously misdiagnosed. You’re seeing the wrong experts.” There’s a tone of slight disgust in his voice, he speaks as if the idea of leaving his scientific oasis shrouded by greenery and water is the most insane and upsetting thing he’s ever heard. You roll your eyes and sit down on the sofa, putting your bag down. 

“What is that?” He points his finger and waves it as he looks at the box peeking out of your bag.  

“They’re uh, dilators.” You say as you look up at him while he stands by you. 

“Why did you buy them? I could’ve made them, let me look.” 

“Not you or anyone in your team is a pelvic physiotherapist or gynaecologist.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, but they also don’t know your vagina like I do.” Nathan rolls his eyes and scoffs, he almost seems insulted, which shouldn’t surprise you but it does.

A dry chuckle escapes you at his words, they’re so crude and blunt. Your eyebrows raise as you look up at him, comfortably sinking more into the soft sofa as his large hands pick up your bag and pull out the box with the dilators in them. 

It was your third time having one of those appointments, but it was something you’d struggled with for many years. You didn’t even realise it was a ‘problem’ for so long. It was somewhat normalised to not even look at a tampon for a few years after your first period, so it wasn’t really something you immediately discovered. Your periods weren’t fun but who had fun periods, right? Only people in pad commercials. 

It took a few years, you were happy to ignore tampons during the first few menstruating years. But after that you opened that first box of tampons, studying the instructions and small educational illustrations on the folded up paper, you’d had no luck. It made you feel weird and gave you a sense of shame you couldn’t speak about so you didn’t. You spent years quietly using pads and almost feeling like you were missing out on something. 

In college, a period had come early and you asked your roommate if she had anything on her, she’d casually given you a tampon and you felt your abdomen become uncomfortable and your pelvic floor apprehensively tighten. You’d moved into that awkward position over the toilet that was supposed to relax you and make it easier but not to your surprise, you’d had no luck. It hurt and felt awful, your body had tensed up more and the more deep breaths you took, the more you seemed to clamp up. 

It wasn’t an issue with the tampon, something you’d tried to tell yourself for years. You felt ashamed and embarrassed in this, the first thought that entered your head was no, it’s something wrong with you. One that persisted for longer than you’d like to admit. 

“This silicone isn’t good enough,” Nathan’s words bring you back to the present and your eyebrows twitch at his words, his eyes are squinted as he reads the box and holds a dilator in his hand, of course he went for the biggest one. 

“But it’s the one with the physio recommended, it was the ‘higher-end’ option-” You say feeling confused and almost frustrated at what was either Nathan being Nathan or another failure of women’s healthcare. 

“Yeah, but your vagina deserves better than silicone that you buy from a doctor’s office-” 

“Physio-” “You just proved my point even more.” His voice drips with arrogance and you sigh leaning into the sofa even more, it might just swallow you in a minute which wouldn’t be too much of an inconvenience. 

“You’re so romantic,” you tease and he nods. “Yeah, yeah I am.” He sits down on the sofa next to you, 

It all kind of surprises you honestly, it still does but he really surprised you at the start. Dating has always made you extremely anxious because vaginismus threw a big spanner in the works. When you were diagnosed after years of silent struggling and worrying, it wasn’t quite the relief you’d imagine a diagnosis would be. It made dating feel more stressful, that something needed to be disclosed and there wasn’t a large time window of appropriate timing. 

Even as an adult, it still felt like something that was difficult to talk about and with each date it had been a scary thing as it felt like it would be a dealbreaker for most people. You had assumed Nathan Bateman would be in that boat, the first impression he left definitely wasn’t a “That’s cool, we’ll take it slow!” vibe. He’d surprised you though, the stigma you’d felt about it for as long as you started to think of it was a problem just didn’t exist with him. 

When you didn’t believe his surprising response he’d reassured you it was an opportunity to explore other things if you wanted and he’d said he could look at a list of options for healthcare you’d never even heard of. Surprisingly there wasn’t any pressure, but you’d eventually made the choice to start with pelvic physiotherapy. That was still scary but it seemed like a good practical first step. A much better and realer step than taking deep breaths or drinking wine like you’d been told by some doctors before. 

Nathan tilts his head, you pinch his nose as you watch his face, like clockwork his nose screws up, scrunching his face. 

“That’s not as cute as you think it is.” He says tilting his head away. 

“Sure.” 

“I’m serious, I’m honestly surprised you haven’t stabbed me in the back thinking you’d get away with it because of your cute privilege.” He teases you, feigning complete seriousness. 

You chuckle and shake your head slightly. Nathan moves closer to press a soft kiss to your forehead. 

“I’m going to do some work, don’t conspire against me. I’m not in the mood for AI or Caesar and Brutus role playing today, it’s not what my hardware’s going for today.” He says as he gets up, he gives your hand a slight squeeze, he rubs his forehead and leaves the room, casually exiting with “I’ll be good, I promise.” 

It’s later in the afternoon now, some sunlight is trickling through the gaps in the leaves and branches of the trees outside and it comes through with the open nature of the compound’s design. You’re sitting down listening to an audiobook with your headphones on tapping away at your keyboard as your eyes focus on the screen in front of you, missing Nathan’s entrance. 

He walks in, tapping your shoulder behind you, it startles you and you jump on the couch. You whip your head around to look over your shoulder and give him a glare before taking a deep breath and trying to lower your heart rate. 

The headphones are quickly pulled off of you and he places them down on the coffee table as he makes his way around the sofa to then stand in front of you. He’s holding something in his hand, it’s almost a pale blue, you have no idea what it is. 

“Ready for something cool?” He asks softly with a small smile. “Mmm?” You hum out, looking up at him as you close your laptop screen. 

“This,” he holds the blue thing in his hands in front of you, it has some loose straps at the bottom and it looks to have different ridges and textures on it. “What is it?” 

“Well the perverts call it a grinder, honey,” he says softly but his eyes are burning smugly as he starts to quirk his mouth up into a shit eating grin. 

You feel your eyes widen as you look up from the grinder to Nathan and your cheeks start to heat up. “You’re a pervert…” 

“Tomato, Tomato.” He shrugs. “But sure. I was thinking and looking over some stuff-”

“Yeah, but no matter what you say I still feel like you get your information from medical papers AND Reddit.” You interrupt. 

“Don’t put me down like that, especially when you’re interrupting me.” He pouts mockingly. “But look at it, no penetration, isn’t that fucking perfect?” 

You look at it and feel your cheeks heat up the longer you do. 

“When they say ‘he loved her to the point of invention’, I don’t think this is what they mean…” You shy;y whisper as you look at it, intentionally not meeting his eyes. It’s an odd shape and has different textures and ridges all over it. 

“I like that, that’s very… well, poetic.” He says almost thoughtfully as his beautiful brown eyes focus on you.  

“I didn’t say-” “I know it’s a quote from elsewhere.” He cuts you off smugly and sighs dramatically. He’s still proud of his intelligence and capabilities. He’s a god amongst men after all. 

“Let’s give it a go my little test bunny,” he tilts his head and teases. “That’s not funny.” You say as you finally look up at him and meet his eyes, they quickly become a little bit kinder and less smug. 

Nathan chuckles and sits down, he starts to tug at and adjust his sweatpants as he sits down. He carefully straps the grinder onto his thigh and then turns his attention to you. He smirks and raises his dark eyebrows. 

“Come on, saddle up cowgirl, your uh sexual chariot awaits.” He says smugly and pats his thigh. 

“What?” Your cheeks burn up even more at his words, if someone touched them now they’d think you have a fever. You physically feel your eyes widen in both shock and a feeling of embarrassment at his words. 

You’d grinded on him before, his strong thighs sure. It was something Nathan had no problem with, he loved it when you’d use his body like that for your pleasure. It was something he didn’t just love but also encouraged. It had also always been something much more comfortable and less painful than penetration. 

“It vibrates and we’ve had several conversations about vibrations helping to desensitise and I read-” 

“Did you read it on reddit?” You ask. 

“Don’t deflect.” He sighs and shakes his head. “Only I’m allowed that tactic here.” 

Nathan puts his thumb and index finger on your chin and tilts your face so you’re looking into his pretty puppy dog eyes. He can be annoying at times but they turn you into mush. “We don’t have to.” He whispers and rubs your chin gently. “And if we do… We can go as slow as you want, we can stop whenever you want, stop if it ever gets close to almost hurting or feeling uncomfortable. You’ll uh dictate, call the shots like a sexy little compound dictator.”

“You were saying something so unusually sweet and then that happened.” You chuckle softly. He still has his fingers on your chin, he tilts your head more and then brings his face closer and kisses you. 

Nathan’s lips are soft and pillowy, they perfectly meld against yours in a soft kiss that he slowly deepens. You place your hands on his shoulders as his tongue gently presses into your mouth, heat courses through his body as you open your mouth for him and he feels your tongue. 

His hand moves to the back of your neck, it’s warm and firm. He moans into your mouth and your cheeks heat up, you smile against his lips as you two continue to kiss. You feel Nathan's hands move to the waist of your dress, his fingers run over the soft fabric before they travel further down. 

You groan against his lips and breath in shakily as his fingers reach the hem of the fabric and his hands start to slowly push the material up to around your waist. Nathan gently manoeuvres you to straddle his thigh. 

“I want you to feel good…” He whispers in a low tone, he opens his eyes and blinks slowly, he looks at you and you feel butterflies squirm in your stomach at the look of his chocolate eyes half-lidded from pleasure and need. 

He slips a hand down between your legs and runs his thumb over your vulva, he watches your face before lightly running it through your folds. You let out a soft moan at that and then a louder one as his digit explores more of you externally. He’s watching your face and body as his fingers feel you become wet, you can’t help but let out a string of more moans as his fingers continue to light you up perfectly. Nathan’s in complete awe of how good you look and watching each microexpression to make sure it’s all pleasure and not a single look of pain. 

Blinking slowly, you nod as you rub your hands gently over his shoulders for a moment and nod, you let him fully manoeuvre you onto his thick thigh as he presses the skirt of the dress up more and lowers you down onto the grinder. 

Your brow furrows a little and your cheeks heat up as you can feel the ridges against your folds, you place your hands on his shoulder and chest to help support yourself against him as you lean to the left a little and start to rub slowly. 

A small gasp escapes as you feel pleasure start to build, it doesn’t hurt with it just being external but there’s something about the slight incline designed there and the ridges that made that feel so good. More good than you would’ve thought. 

“How’s that?” He whispers, watching in awe as you start to slowly move.

You gasp and nod, letting out a small moan. “Mm, yeah… It doesn’t-it doesn’t hurt…” 

“Good…” he nods and moans, he leans back on the sofa slightly and looks up at you as you keep moving slowly, getting used to the new toy and how it makes your whole body feel. 

Nathan places one of his large hands onto your hips, he feels your skin and caresses it softly, letting his hand trail down to your hip where he rubs small circles onto you. You can feel your cheeks heating up at this, it’s a different feeling and new. 

“Do you want to try the vibrator now?” He whispers. 

You bite your lip and nod. “Yes… Yes, I really do Nathan…” You whisper breathlessly, feeling your body flutter in anticipation. Your head falls back and you let out a moan as you feel the vibrations start to buzz against your clitoris and folds. It’s not too much pressure, it’s a great level to start at and you’re appreciative of that because it feels amazing, you can feel yourself becoming wetter and the ball of release waiting to unwind now. 

You rock your hips slowly as it buzzes through, you’re testing the waters and lightly scratching his head as you do so. You take a shaky breath as you feel the different textures, the slight raises, ridges and as the vibrations travel through your body and hit your core. 

Nathan lets out a groan at the feeling of your nails against his scalp and closes his eyes. His hands rub your hips gently, guiding you and you press your head against his shoulder, starting to moan slightly as the sensitive nerves come to life with the heat of pleasure. Your forehead burrows into him more as you feel Nathan adjust it to slightly increase the intensity of the vibrations, you let out a whine at the feeling. It tingles deliciously and you bite your lip. 

He’s watching your expressions, making sure it never gets too much. He’s done this for your enjoyment, he wants you to feel good and for this not to put too much pressure or stress on you and possibly cause a pelvic floor flare up. 

Nathan feels your hot breath tickle against his shoulder as you moan and muffle, the feeling of that, of knowing that he’s responsible for this, for giving you this kind of pleasure and getting to bask in it makes his cock throb as he watches you and listens to your musical moans. 

He puts his hand to your cheek and tilts your head away from his shoulder, he loves feeling your moans as well as hearing them but now he needs to feel your lips. He tilts your head closer to meet his mouth and your lips collide in a messy, frenzy kiss. 

Both of you are consumed with pleasure and passion and it shows in the meeting of your lips, your tongues delve into each other's mouths in a frenzied dance. You moan against his mouth as you keep moving against the grinder and it feels so good, you’ve never felt anything like it before and the combination of that with Nathan’s lips is the hottest thing ever. 

He keeps deepening the kiss, Nathan is head over heels and seeks contact however he can get it, he loves having you like this and feeling your tongue against his, your breath mixing into you both panting as one in each other’s embrace. 

It’s the stuff of dreams. His dreams. His wet dreams. 

You both continue to kiss and then Nathan pulls away slightly. “How does it feel, baby?” He whispers and you feel the breath of his words tickle your kiss swollen lips. 

“Good… So good, Nate…” You whisper between moans as you keep rocking your hips. 

“Does it hurt?” He asks in a low gravelly voice as he blinks slowly while watching you, you shake your head in response. 

“Not at all.” 

Nathan nods. “Good.” 

Nathan keeps one hand on your hip as the other hand then reaches down to free himself. He looks up at you with his big brown eyes and grips his length. It’s already aching, it never takes long for him to get worked up. Nathan gives himself a slow pump, you feel a shiver in your spine as your body tingles in anticipation and you watch with bated breath as he does. 

“Spit.” 

It’s a soft command that you follow, you blink slowly and tilt your head down just over his tip and spit down onto the head of his angry cock. It twitches as you do, he lets out a loud moan, feeling incredibly turned on at both the sight and feeling of that. 

His eyes closed for a moment, his thick, dark lashes fanning against his cheeks as he tilted his head and his groans, squeezing his now lubricated cock with his hand. He starts to pump himself now and you let out a moan watching, you can’t tear your eyes away and it’s an erotic feast for your eyes as you keep grinding against the toy, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to your peak. 

Those charming, big brown eyes open again, they’re half-lidded as he looks at you, watching you. His breathing is slow and heavy as he keeps pumping himself, the sounds coming from you both are filthy and heavy in the air. 

You reach a hand down to lightly tug at his tip just as he likes, Nathan lets out a loud moan at that, bucking his hips a little for more friction with your gentle, soft hands. You moan and bite your lip at his response, you start to pump him as well and he moans watching you, his hand moving to his base and heavy balls as he keeps watching the pretty sight on his lap. 

It doesn’t take long at all for him to get there, his length is throbbing and on the verge of being perfectly milked by your hands and he’s loving the feeling of you on him. On his dick with your hands, on his leg, rubbing yourself to climax. He knows you’re getting close and that’s making him close. 

After a couple of minutes of pumping him, he can’t hold back anymore. He needs release and his cock is already leaking pre come, lubricating him even more by coating all over his length with your spit. He thrusts his hips up and whines out loudly, Nathan pants and cries. “Fuck… baby… Fuck…” He whines as he comes all over your hand and his toned stomach. 

He pants heavily, his face looking flustered and he looks up at you with heavy eyes and you smile, feeling your cheeks burning up. It’s all so hot and his release has just turned you on even more. You know you’re on the verge too and you’re glad because there’s not really any pain so far. 

“I think I’m getting…” You pant out. 

“Close? Not too much?” He asks softly as he has one hand on himself and the other on your hip, gently helping you rock yourself on top of him. 

“Mm, close. It’s good.” You moan and rock your hips more, trying to get a bit more of the ridges near the top to rub against your clitoris, you know that’s what will push you over the edge with these vibrations. 

You keep rocking as the vibrations make you sing with moans and you squeeze his shoulders and look at him with wide eyes before shutting them tightly in pleasure. 

You shake slightly in his lap as your release builds up to the peak and the waves of pleasure crash over you and your body feels hot as you come and release. You cry out and moan as you orgasm on the grinder and his thigh. He stops the vibrations knowing that overstimulation and post-orgasm can make vaginismus hurt more and flare up. You’re still gripping onto his shoulders and you pant, trying to recover your breath. 

He caresses your cheek as you both pant and he presses a gentle kiss to your lips and rubs your back. “Feeling okay? You did so good, you really did baby.” 

You nod and rest your head against his chest as you feel his heart hammer away like a loud drum, you’re not sure who has the higher heart rate as you move off of the grinder and cuddle him. 

**********************

It had been a week since the first grinder experiment on the couch, it was later in the evening. You were just getting into bed, having come from a nice long bath to try and help relax your pelvic floor and soothe some of the discomfort you’d had that day. 

“There.” Nathan throws something onto the bed. 

“Hmm? What is it?” You look over at him, not paying much attention to the objects. 

“It’s the better dilators.” He says matter of factly in the most casual way possible. 

You raise your eyebrows, trying to suppress a chuckle but it comes out within seconds. You look at them curiously with a smile. 

“This is more of what I was expecting for your gynaecological experiments than a grinder, but knowing you, I should’ve expected the grinder first.” You say and pick up one of the new dilators. 

“I think they have to go through some kind of review process technically?” You ask looking over at him. 

“You didn’t have that concern for the grinder.” He responds smugly with a devilish grin and you feel your cheeks heat up. “But don’t worry, that’s why it took so long, all those stupid doctors with ill-judged priorities. I had a physio in New York, Stockholm, and three gynaecologists approved it. Good enough for you?” He tilts his chin down and raises his eyebrows. 

“Four would’ve been ideal, but I’ll take it.” You say with a chuckle but still sigh dramatically as you look at the dilators which just makes him shake his head and sit down on the bed. They’re lighter, the material does feel a bit nicer but there wasn’t really anything wrong with the material of the first ones you’d brought. You do notice that they’re a bit smaller which makes you smile, even the smallest in the other pack still felt quite big and had given you anxiety. This feels more reassuring, something you know would’ve been why Nathan made this design choice. 

“The sizes?” You whisper. 

“Yeah, I thought smaller would be more manageable and easier for easing in.” He says casually and then explains the design and material choices as you nod along, touched by the unique gesture. 

“That’s kind of sweet, thank you, you weirdo.” You smile and kiss his cheek. Nathan unusually so, doesn’t say anything but he smiles enjoying the feeling of your soft lips against his. He wouldn’t freely admit it to anyone but it makes it all worth it to him. 

[boywonderloverr]

shout-out to mentally ill/neurodivergent/disabled/chronically ill people who:

grew up wondering what was wrong with them and why everything that was hard for them seemed so easy to other people. who felt so confused and stuck all the time because they didn't understand what was happening to them. whose symptoms aren't taken seriously. who struggle to ask for the help and support they need. who feel weak and helpless. who wished they could be "normal." who feel like a burden on their friends/family. who feel hard to love or even unlovable because of their condition. who feel guilty all the time. who feel like they aren't sick or unwell or neurodivergent or disabled ENOUGH. whose condition makes them feel lonely and isolated because they aren't able to connect with people or maintain relationships. who are exhausted. who are scared that they'll always feel lonely. who are tired of feeling trapped in a world that isn't designed for them.

you are worthy of love, support, understanding, and acceptance. you are not a burden. you deserve safety and happiness. you deserve community. you are stronger than you think. keep fighting. i know how draining and hopeless it feels sometimes but we have to keep fighting. there isn't space in this world for people like us but we will make space. don't shrink yourself. keep being you and keep having hope for a better future.

[monostardust]

I have so many feelings about iwtv s2 e7 like... Wtf. This whole thing is so fucked up. Lestat looks like he's being tortured while he's on that stage it's like he just wants this to be over and wants to be put to death so he can be with his family. And then there's Louis, Claudia and Madeleine. They're not permitted to speak up for themselves they were already treated like they were guilty (they are but still) and all the justifications they had for doing what they did to Lestat was all just nonsense not something important to even mention. It's maddening you're on trial and you can't even defend yourself tell people why you killed the love of your life. Why they had to do it. Why it was the only way. Imagine going through that, I'd go insane and Madeleine oh poor woman. She's been dragged, shamed and her hair shaven for sleeping with a nazi soldier and now it's like it was happening to her all over again. People are laughing at her imminent demise, at her humiliation, and this time for something she wasn't even a part of. And Armand. He's just full of bullshit. I look at him in that box and I laugh at how ridiculous it was. Someone as old as him couldn't overpower vampires he's ruled over for many years? Please spare me the lies I'm sick of it all. "I could not prevent it." babe, honey, sweetheart, shut the fuck up. I'm so sick of how unreliable all these cunty bitches are. Louis' mind is fucked so ain't no way I'm trusting everything he's said, Lestat is seriously unwell on that stage and I'm pretty sure he's gone half mad so I ain't trusting him as well and obviously not Armand. What am I supposed to believe!?? I am very unwell with how Lestat looks like he wants to impale himself when he was on that stage.

[tinkersclankandbobble]

Because I’ve been sick for over a week… I wanna talk about how the boys would take care of a sick friend.

Let’s use Tinker Bell as our sick friend.

So I imagine the in Tink’s case she would be the kind of person to try and pretend she’s not sick when she’s actually in desperate need of bed rest. I think Bobble would probably take notice first that something is off with Tink. Whether her movements are shakier, her responses are slower, whatever. Bobble probably notices it. He would suggest to her that she rest for a moment until she got her head on straight again. But Tink being Tink would likely refuse and try and push through her work, which would clue Bobble in further that she was unwell.

Bobble would likely then point this out to Clank. He would probably make a comment like “I thought she seemed a bit off…” and then proceed to help Bobble with getting her to stop working so she can rest. I can see Clank approaching her and saying she doesn’t look too good and then putting his hand to her forehead immediately to check for temperature. I think Clank’s more likely to do that than Bobble since he doesn’t seem to have a problem with getting into other people’s personal space. (Like, he literally grabbed Tink’s face to make her smile when he said “they were born from the same laugh” when talking about Periwinkle. Seriously, Clank. Keep your hands to yourself sir.) anyway, once Clank notices fever, then he’d likely pick Tink up and say “this won’t do! You need to go to bed straight away!!” And then carry her home, disregarding any protests from her.

While Clank is taking her home, Bobble would alert Fairy Mary of Tink’s illness and assure her that he and Clank will make sure she gets plenty of rest. I think he’d take it upon himself to go to the healer’s to get any supplies or medicine Tink would need in this time and bring it back to her. (Or convince a healer to make a house call)

Back at Tink’s, Clank already has her tucked in bed all cozy and comfortable, asking plenty of times if she needs anything more. Tink at this point accepts that she is in fact sick and that she has two great friends who will take good care of her.

During her sick time (a few days let’s say) at least one of the boys is with her at all times. They make her tea and hot soup, and chat with her to keep her spirits up. If she needs to sleep, they stay, but keep to the other side of her house and remain as quiet as possible. When her other friends inevitably come to visit, they all come in a huge group. Bobble would keep them at the door and say “let’s not overwhelm the poor lass! Only two visitors at a time.” And would make sure everyone got a fair amount of time with Tink.

At night, Tink says she’ll be fine; that they can go home. But they always insist that at least one of them should stay with her in case she needs anything. Whomever stays (sometimes they both do) fall asleep either on the floor or seated at Tink’s table.

Once Tink is finally better, she asks if there’s anything she can do to repay them. Neither Clank nor Bobble need anything in way of thanks. They just help out because they care.

[emeritus-fuckers]

Hi ❤️ I know requests are closed so feel free to delete this, but I am really struggling and I could use some comfort if possible. Could I get the papas comforting a reader with extreme health anxiety? Like a reader who is always afraid that they are really sick (whether they actually are or not). Tysm, your blog brings me so much joy ❤️

Hey, no worries. I said it myself, even if requests are closed, comfort asks are always fine. - Jez

Papas with a darling who has extreme health anxiety

Primo

He listens to your worries and tries to soothe your nerves.

He has some experience with somewhat similar issues (Terzo was a hypochondriac when he was younger), so he has a general clue on how to help you.

"Darling, take a deep breath. Let's take some breaths and calm down together, alright?"

He stis with you as long as you need him to before he finally talks about your symptoms.

He has you answer a lot of very detailed questions, but does so in a way that feels comforting.

He gently guides you towards more plausible reasons you might feel unwell.

Also, he's fond of using hers as medication (do not confuse it with being anti-vaxx, he absolutely believes in medicine, but if he can help with simpler methods, he will), so he'll offer that.

Offers you cupping therapy (is that how it's called in english???) and regular days off to rest just so you can feel healthier.

Secondo

This man reads a lot and does shit tons of research.

And he's an extremely fast learner, so in a few weeks he's already grasped the basic concepts and most important potential symptoms of what people learn in medical school.

He's far from being an expert and he's still learning, but he learns the very basics just to reassure you that it's fine.

He wants to make sure you're fine, seeing as he takes any potential issues very seriously.

If you think he's sick, he's going to believe you and take care of you.

Gets you a personal doctor and a nurse to make sure you're okay.

"It's alright, a more. Il dottore said you're fine. Do you need to rest? Let Papa take care of you, sí?"

He does his best to slowly and subtly change your life style to be at least a bit healthier, hoping it would help.

Watches you nap with a small smile as he does his paperwork.

Makes you nice, healthy foods. Takes you on walks. He just does a lot to make you feel healthier.

Terzo

Oh, he gets it. He was like that in his youth, although it's way worse with you.

Gentle distractions. He notices you getting anxious and tries his best to help you.

He tries to make sure you don't have time to be anxious. Tries making you focus on something fun.

If it doesn't work, he'll research your symptoms with you to calm you down.

Will get you a doctor if you insist, but mostly tries to calm you himself.

He understands what you feel, even if just a little bit. And his heart is in the right place. But like with his own issues, he doesn't deal with it at the source, he just gets distractions. All the time.

But he does try. And he does his best. He's just..not the best at handling things like that.

But if you tell him how to help you, he follows those instructions religiously.

Copia

Well... He's terrible for it.

Not because he doesn't care. It's because the poor baby cares too much and he gets caught up in it even more than you do :<

You cough and he freaks out. Makes you lay in bed and gets a doctor.

He does his very best to take care of you, mother hen mode activated.

He's gonna spoil you, trying his best to make you feel better.

He doesn't realize he makes it worse. But he loves you so much! He wants you to be happy! And safe! And healthy!

But once he does realize, he apologizes profusely and spends days researching how to properly help you.

He feels really bad about making it worse earlier, please give him a hug, he really means well with everything he does for you.

Old Nihil

He has a doctor ready for whenever he got sick. He's old, every cough could be a sign he's dying (though he's in incredibly good shape for a man his age, with only his breathing being a problem), so if you get worried about your health, he gets his doctor immediately.

No matter if it was something completely silly, if you said you were feeling unwell, he's getting the damn doctor and that's it.

The doctor better take all your worries seriously because Nihil can and will fire him otherwise.

Your comfort is more important than his own health.

The doctor is fully expected to listen to whatever troubles you and explain everything to you.

What your symptoms are, what they mean.

And they better do so gently and patiently to ease you.

Even if he may get a bit annoyed with you constantly worrying about your health (mainly because he gets pestered about his health a lot and it's fucking annoying), but he always tries his best to support you.

It does come pretty easy, considering he's a simp.

Young Nihil

Straight up tells you you're being dramatic at first. That's just what he assumes, not realizing how serious it was.

He never really cared much for his own health and he was fine, so he just tries to get you to chill out.

Once he does eventually realize what it doesn't work and that your issues are actually very serious, he just kinda sighs and makes you explain your problems to him.

He still doesn't get it, so he does a similar thing to Terzo and tries to distract you.

He can't deal with his own issues, love. He sucks at dealing with yours unless he's told specifically what to do.

Tell him when you need to be held and he'll hold you.

Tell him how to help you and he'll help you.

Tell him what to do and he'll do it.

What a fucking bottom.

Taglist: @sirlsplayland @firefirevampire @thatoddboy @ouijaboardemo (send an ask if you'd like to be added! Read the pinned post before asking!)

[litwick-whisper]

Sick baby guide

I’m the kinda baby that just feels sick A LOT

Sometimes we get sick in a way that’s not an illness, like bad tummy aches, and they’re so frequent that we can’t drop everything every time, or people don’t take us seriously. Here’s what I do to help.

Ready to be babied? It doesn’t matter if you age regress/dream or you just feel sicky and sad, you deserve to feel better- you’re my baby now!

🫧 Keep a water bottle close to your bed.

You might not feel like having water, sometimes when we’re sick it feels icky in our bellies, but if your mouth dries out like mine does or you just want to flush your sick mouth out a little bit, it’s good to have one within reach.

🫧 Put on some calming music.

It doesn’t have to be classical- just something that makes you feel calm and safe. Play songs that are comforting to you or let you kind of escape into your mind. Whatever music you like, it’s up to you little one.

🫧 Apply a bit of warmth

Whether it’s a heating pad or a heated stuffed animal, it can help, especially for cramps or tummy aches. Just make sure you don’t heat it too much and be careful that you don’t leave heating pads on or let them get too hot, love.

🫧 Get clean

While it does feel good to take a shower, sometimes we’re too sick to, so just changing your pajamas might help, if you can. Only do what you can, I know the experience of being unable to get out of bed, it’s frustrating, but it’ll be okay. You’re doing all you can do.

🫧 Soft Clothes

Put on something soft and comfortable. Baggy pajamas, big hoodies, soft blankets. Make yourself as comfortable as you can.

🫧 Fuzzy socks

If you’re chilling or losing a lot of heat, it might be good to put on a pair of fuzzy socks, or just regular socks. A lot of heat can escape out your feet, so it can be good to keep them warm.

🫧 Paci

Sometimes having a paci in my mouth helps surprisingly much when I’m sick! It soothes, and I also feel like it helps to chase away the icky in your mouth sometimes. If you have something filling your mouth, there’s less room to feel nauseous.

🫧 Make sure to wash your cups and pacis!

It’s so so important to wash your cups and pacis, especially if they’ve been in a sick mouth, it’ll help keep you cleaner and safer. I neglect this a lot but we have to remember, I know we can!

🫧 Telling someone

If you can, tell someone you’re feeling unwell! Whether it’s letting someone you live with know or shooting a friend a text, just let someone know so they can check on you, okay?

🫧 Expressing your distress

It’s okay to cry, little one. It’s okay to whine and cry out and babble. If we’re in pain sometimes we can’t hold it back. It doesn’t make it better, but it’s a perfectly natural reaction to have. You don’t have to feel ashamed.

So many days it feels like we’ll never find peace. Life doesn’t pull punches, I know. But this won’t last forever, the darkness will end. We’ll feel better soon, I know we will. We have to, all of us. ❤️‍🩹

[lookingfornoonat2pm]

One of the things that has been fucking me up the most about Aaron Bushnell's self-immolation is how much I connect to it.

And I want to say that what follows is not meant as a correct take. It is not meant as an opinion or a corrective or as advice or even as wisdom. It may even be outright and absolutely negative. But it must be said, and I must say it.

During the height of the Covid-19 Pandemic, as I was working in total isolation as a mental health professional, I thought about self-immolation a non-trivial amount. I thought about going to the CDC headquarters and lighting myself on fire as a protest against privatized medicine. The failure to provide free healthcare during the pandemic is, to me, one of the most monumental failures of our government, and of our society, in my lifetime. It is a failure to which I feel deeply connected. As a disabled person, as a professional, and as a child of a mother and a brother of a brother, my body and heart scream from the pain of knowing that all of us are alone when we are in ill health. I fantasized that my death could provide a flashpoint around which there could be a rallying cry for meaningful change.

I was also deeply afraid and alone, as so many of us were during the years from 2020 to 2023. Such fantasies, as they often do for the suicidal, offered a fantasy of escape and of righteousness when I worked as part of an indefensible system.

Even writing about this feels like spitting on the cause of Palestinian liberation and of the end of Israel's genocide against the Palestinian people--because I am making a post about myself and about my own experiences.

But what compels me to write all of this is that, as a mental health professional, I cannot stomach the idea that we are all just going to write Aaron Bushnell off as "sick" or "unwell." I'm not even convinced it is proper to call his death a suicide, in the sense we use to refer the terminal ends of depression and despair. We must be able to think and to write and to understand spiritual and political life outside and beyond the medical or the clinical or the merely pleasurable or painful.

We MUST be able to acknowledge the truth of sacrifice. People really do sacrifice for things that are greater than themselves, and such sacrifices are not sick, or wrong, or delusional.

The irony of my demand for universal healthcare coming along with my demand to take seriously the human being beyond the medical is not lost on me. But the contradiction is only apparent. Below both of these--the call for a political and spiritual life beyond the medical or the financial, AND the demand for the provision of the human right to medical care--is a profound belief in the absolute dignity of the free human person. And it is in fact the ongoing war machine, of which the Israeli genocide is a part, that is the other side of the machine which denies me and my clients and my fellow citizens a meaningfully free social world.

If you see Aaron Bushnell's death, and the people who acknowledge and honor his martyrdom, and think that this somehow justifies your own suicidal ideas or fantasies, I beg you to reconsider. If you see Aaron Bushnell's death, and think that the best thing you can do is die for a noble cause, I beg you to think about how much more your living body can do than your dead body can. But I cannot and I will not accept the idea that we must think of sacrifice as meaningless. Aaron Bushnell did not die for nothing, and I, and millions of people like me, will see to it that he did not.

[safety-pin-punk]

Principles of Sick Punk

I want to start this by saying that I am not the coiner of the term Sick Punk. I'm just a huge supporter of it, and seem to be the one developing the concept (at least on my little corner of the internet that I've seen). I've gotten a few asks along the lines of "Do I qualify for Sick Punk?", so I wanted to put together a guideline/principles post similar to what cpunk has. Because again, we are communities that should work together, not tear each other down. What is Sick Punk?

Sick Punk is about solidarity and is open to all sick, diseased, or chronically ill who do not fall under the cpunk label and resonate with the Sick Punk label.

Sick Punk is not dependent on how unwell you are, if you need aids, or your "functioning level" so long as some aspect of your life is effected by whatever ails you.

Sick Punk exists to provide a space and community for those who face challenges due to their 'sickness' to discuss their struggles and support each other.

Respect those who do not have a formal diagnoses. The healthcare field is a nightmare. Some people lack access to healthcare, others are not taken seriously by their doctors. Remember, we all know how our bodies feel better than anyone else.

Sick Punk recognizes that there is no universal sick, diseased, or chronically ill experience

Whether or not you use the Sick Punk label is up to YOU and you alone. But its open to those who would like to.

[r0ttingsystem]

I've been trying to calm myself down but I just need to fucking rant because HOLY SHIT

Tw abuse, yelling, grooming, tw everything to be honest

People seriously need to start taking our fucking trauma seriously what the actual fuck

we were CONSTANTLY abused for a fucking year PLUS why the fuck do people pretend that was an easy fucking experience????????

People try to act like ITS OUR FAULT FOR BEING ATTACHED, FOR BEING UNWELL, FOR BEING LIKE THIS

well I have some news for you motherfucker, I'm so attached because I was pushed so far into a psychotic episode that I thought I couldn't SURVIVE without being attached

I was pushed so far into meltdowns or breakdowns I COULDN'T SPEAK HALF THE TIME

I have a problem with boundaries BECAUSE EVERY "NO" I SAID WAS MET WITH "I'm leaving then." OR "YOU DON'T LOVE ME IM GONNA KILL MYSELF"

It got so bad I developed INSOMNIA FOR AN AMOUNT OF TIME

"you should talk it out" WELL I FUCKING CANT BECAUSE ALL I CAN THINK OF IS WHEN I HAD TO BEG AND BEG FOR THEM TO STOP SCREAMING AT ME OR FOR THEM TO NOT KILL THEMSELVES

Jesus fucking christ an abuse victims is unwell?????? Who could have guessed!!!!!!!!!!!

It's not even JUST gir, we cut off our last groomer LIKE A MONTH AGO

People have a problem with how aggressive I am. Well you'd fucking understand if you too saw your best friend/girlfriend and your children be abused over and over again and you couldn't say anything because that fucking sick bitch had you wrapped around her finger

I need a goddamn break.

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

sometimes it feels like I was not, am not, and never will be sick enough to actually talk about certain habits like actually have an eating disorder. obviously, I recognize that I use to be a lot worse than I am now, but because of that it's like all my support backed off as soon as they saw I was relatively better.

don't get me wrong, I'm so thankful for all their love that they gave me when I was worse and reallyyy needed it, but now it kind of feels as if I need to be that bad again for anyone to care. for example,

I don't restrict as much like I use to.

I don't have as many bad habits (weighing myself, harming places where I felt I was fat, etc)

working out excessively

and more

but the thoughts and voices and urges just keep coming back. sometimes I act on them and then I'm guilty, so I eat, but then I'm even more guilty, so I don't, and the whole cycle continues. I'm scared that if I tell my support I feel as though I'm about to seriously relapse, they won't take it seriously enough.

I don't want to be as sick as I was several years ago for anyone to start to care.

I'm sorry you feel this way. You're definitely not alone. Eating disorders often come with a lot of shame as well as a "competitive side" for who can be the sickest. If something's telling you you're not "sick enough" in your eating disorder, consider that it could be your disorder itself talking. And I'm sorry your supports stopped as soon as you seemed surface-level well again.

While this may make you feel alone, I think people don't mean to leave you unsupported. Sometimes people get overwhelmed or busy and they overlook all but the most obvious signs of unwellness. I wonder if you could help people support you better by saying "hey, things aren't as bad as they once were, but if you're able, I feel like I could still use a few supports." Perhaps you could make a list in advance of what supports for you might look like at this stage. Perhaps focus on things that are not eating-disorder-related that make you feel cared about and included, so that you feel less of that "I need to be sick to be cared about" urge.

I don't necessarily think it's that people don't care, but more that they may not be adept at noticing what you need when signs are subtle. What would be a healthy way of seeking this connection? That's something to think about. Often people want to be helpful but may not know how when it's not spelled out for them, since each individual is so unique in their needs.

I mean, it's important to know that you're not alone in this struggle. Lots of people who are well into ED recovery still feel urges to relapse (including me.) This counts as a symptom and you are allowed to acknowledge about it, and talk about it to your supports. In fact, I think this is beneficial. From the way you worded this it sounds like you already know this, but I think it bears repeating to affirm: you don't need to be "sick enough" to deserve help. You are worthy and deserving of prevention. You don't have to earn this by showing sickness. You don't have to put yourself through the ordeal of getting worse. You count.

[nowis-scales]

Flora and Felicia Birthday Headcanons

That’s right. It’s time. Another round. I am unstoppable! Okay, maybe that’s not true, I may run out of things to headcanon one day. But for now, I’m going to keep trying and bring you lots of different things to enjoy! Hopefully you like them!

Flora:

‣ Her rigidity and coolness comes from an attempt to imitate her father and invoke pride within him. Kilma never praised Flora much growing up, and was honestly somewhat cold to her, even though he seemed to have a lot of warmth for Felicia. Given that she would someday be the next leader of their Tribe, she grew convinced that this may have been because he had high expectations for her, so she started trying to imitate him as best she could. This resulted in her trying to emulate his sense of calm and really control her emotions, so while Flora feels a lot of things very deeply, she tends to keep them concealed on the inside to give the appearance of a better leader. Her magic still gives her away sometimes, of course, but she refuses to stop trying. She is desperate to get Kilma’s recognition.

‣ Ferociously independent when she gets sick. Seriously. No one look at her, no one touch her, just leave her alone to be a gremlin in the bed sheets while she tries to recover. For whatever reason, she just really cannot stand to be fussed over while she’s feeling unwell, so she’s going to go out of her way to try and get everything done herself whether you like it or not. Try and help her? Well, she’s not going to be unkind to you, but she is going to annoyedly remind you that she can do this herself, thank you very much, and it’s probably not good for you to be around her when she’s feeling sick anyway. Just leaving her alone to sit in the dark and dropping off the occasional book will probably be most appreciated. She’ll call you if she really needs you.

‣  Has a thing for sharp male love interests. You just know she’d be all over Pride & Prejudice in a modern AU. That’s why she likes Jakob so much. I’ve already established that I feel like Flora is just a huge hopeless romantic, so I think the sort of cold man with a secret heart of gold melts with love is something that she would be all over. Who doesn’t love quality character development and the revelation that someone you thought was one way, is actually even better than you anticipated? It is just her absolute favourite kind of romance.

‣  Has a pretty singing voice. She doesn’t have any direct use for it, really, but she likes to sing from time to time as she’s doing chores. When she was small, she spent a lot of time singing with the other Ice Tribe women as apart of their cultural traditions. Even going to Nohr and joining Corrin’s army, she keeps up with it, singing songs in her native tongue, common, and even sometimes Nohrian if she likes the song enough. If she has kids or a niece/nephew, she would also happily sing lullabies for them every time she puts them to sleep. 

‣ Makes the best rabbit stew you’ll ever taste in your life. Her grandmother taught her the family recipe when she was younger, and she has been perfecting it ever since. Everyone who has been around for a long time will tell you that it’s their favourite meal that she makes, and she’s even had Corrin ask for it for their birthday meal once or twice. She’ll never reveal her secret advanced recipe (except for if she is passing it down to a child of the family), so it cannot be replicated by others, but if you ask she’ll always jokingly tell you that the secret ingredient is “love and the perfect vegetables”.

‣ Forever locked in an argument with Felicia about whether or not mint-flavoured things are good or not. Flora thinks they are bad, but Felicia loves them. A lot of people find it strange that she really doesn’t like the taste of mint, considering it’s cold and she’s from the Ice Tribe, but she is very adamant that that is just not the way it works. Some thing about the taste of mint just really puts her off, and she and Felicia bicker about it all the time. She could probably write you a whole essay on why mint-flavoured things are just not right.

‣ Competent ice skater. She grew up skating on the Ice Tribe’s lake when she was a girl, and always had the best time. Her elegance and grace extend even to this medium, so she is always sure to dazzle the inexperienced. The best part about it, too, is that she’s an eager teacher. So if you tell her that you want to ice skate, she’s happy to hold your hands the whole time and give you pointers. It’s her favourite form of physical activity.

‣  Has a weird relationship with babies and toddlers. Is she kind and civil with them? Of course. It’s hard to be a little person in such a big world. But does she fully understand how to interact with them, and enjoy the fact that they are loud and sticky? Not so much. She’s not sure if it’s just inexperience or what, because she does like children, but there’s something about the very little ones that she doesn’t know how to work with fully. At the very least, she knows that she would dearly love her own kids, no matter the phase of life.

‣ Really good at planning, but also gets pretty upset when things don’t go according to her plan. Flora can have everything planned perfectly, organized thoughtfully and with care. She’s the kind of person you would call if you were having an event and didn’t know where to start, or the girl who would take the lead on the group project and help get everything underway. However, once things stop going according to plan, that’s where her success ends. She starts getting nervous and upset when life throws a wrench in her plans, because now she has to recalibrate and doesn’t always know what to do. Usually, she just needs to have her moment of panic until she can rise to the new challenge, but it is never a fun experience.

‣ The epitome of “um excuse me, but they didn’t want pickles on that” meme. Not just for Felicia. For literally anybody who needs it. The big sister instincts are strong in this one. Standing up for the people who need her is just something that is basically a reflex for her, and while she might bite her tongue around royalty and those who could inflict serious harm, she’s otherwise going to be fairly outspoken about what is and isn’t fair. That’s kind of just the way she’s built!

Felicia:

‣ To some people’s surprise, she’s actually a pretty big morning person. Even if she oversleeps sometimes and freaks herself right out over missing her duties, if she can get up on time, she’s pretty happy going about her day. She loves washing up, preparing her hair and her clothes, making breakfast and getting ready for the day. Sometimes she even gets up early just to watch the sunrise because of how much she loves to see it. Something about waking up bright and early just makes her feel really cheerful!

‣ Super big on physical affection and extraordinarily cuddly. Definitely as a physical affection love language. She’s not the type to overstep boundaries, so she has to be comfortable with you before she starts expressing it, but as soon as she’s ready… well, you probably will be too. Whether it’s hanging onto her partner’s arms or hugging a fellow soldier when they’re down, Felicia has all kinds of physical affection to go around. Just ask and you probably will receive. If she likes you enough, she might even greet you by hugging you from behind.

‣ While Flora is ferociously independent when she gets sick, Felicia is a whiny little baby who needs to be fussed over. Don’t get me wrong, she can still do some things for herself, but she generally doesn’t want to and will call others for help. She will want to be tucked into bed, receive regular meals or snacks and water, entertainment through books or conversation or other activities, and have help getting to the bath and brushing the tangles out of her hair. If you’re her partner, then the requests are even higher. Can you please cuddle her until she feels better? And if you’re checking her temperature, could it be with a forehead kiss please? Oh, and can you stroke her hair until she falls asleep, pretty please with sugar on top? She’s never sharp and demanding, but there’s so much innocent pleading and softness that even the strongest of wills have bent to her before. Jakob still rants about some of the trashy romantic novels she asked him to read to her while she had the flu one time.

‣ One of her biggest sources of guilt is that she can no longer speak the language of the Ice Tribe. She can understand it, but she cannot speak it. Flora doesn’t have the same problem, as she wrote a journal in their language to keep up with it, but the Fortress staff were intimidating for awhile. King Garon did not want them organizing escape plans or uprisings using their native tongue, which the other staff did not understand, so the girls were forbidden from speaking it. Flora only got as far as she did by going behind people’s backs and help with concealment from Gunter. Felicia, on the other hand, followed the rules pretty rigidly and now feels extremely out of touch with her people. It’s a source of great shame for her, and something she cries about from time to time.

‣  As we all know, Felicia is a very poor cook. However, there are two things she can make — her special Angel’s Cookie, and sandwiches. It seems a bit odd for her to only be good at two things, but the truth of it is that she’s good at those two things because she practiced like crazy to become good at those two things. Sandwiches seemed simple enough that she couldn’t possibly make a mess of them, and cookies were something she had spent a lot of time watching Flora and Jakob make, so when she would do her secret practicing at the Northern Fortress, those were the two things she would make to try and see if she could do a good job. And, since she’s generally unable to tell herself whether her cooking is good or bad, all of her food was tasted by an eager Lilith. It took a lot of tries to get it right, but she finally managed to do it, and she tries to take it as a symbol of encouragement that she can get better at things that are hard for her. She even still brings the treats to Lilith sometimes as thanks.

‣  Writes down every compliment people give her for personal note. She gets quite bashful when she’s complimented because it really doesn’t happen all that much, so she tries to take a moment to note down what was said and who said it. It helps her cheer herself up when she’s upset, because even if she makes a lot of mistakes, Corrin thinks she’s “an amazing friend” and Princess Elise told her she “has the prettiest hair”, so at least she has something going for her!

‣ When not in her maid’s uniform, Felicia actually has a really feminine sense of personal style. She loves skirts and dresses covered in lace, ribbons, and frills. Long socks and cute tights are a favourite piece of attire, and she tries to keep elegant shoes on hand whenever she can. Playing around with different hairstyles is something she loves to do most, especially because she’s actually really good at different types of braids. She’ll even do a bit of light make-up from time to time just to try something different. If she were to ever have a daughter who shares an affection for the style, then she would be decked out in the cutest outfits that you have ever seen in your life.

‣  Likes most food and will usually eat anything you don’t want. As I mentioned from her cooking headcanon, she can’t really taste for herself when something’s bad, so she is often the person people turn to if they don’t like their food. If Jakob isn’t around to eat Corrin’s mushrooms, she’ll eat them. If Flora gets something she doesn’t want, she’ll usually take it off her plate. There’s only so much food she can take, of course, being a petite girl, but she’s willing to help if you don’t want something. It also makes her very agreeable for dinner plans, because you can often pick what you want, and she’ll go “oh, I love that!”

‣ The reason why she can handle battle better than she can regular chores is because there are more many more steps and details for her to remember when she is doing those regular tasks. In battle, her survival instincts tend to kick in, and her focus sharpens, so her scatterbrained tendencies don’t get the best of her quite the same. She’s got three goals she needs to focus on: (1) Protect herself, (2) Protect her loved ones, and (3) Dispose of the enemy. In her regular life she has so much more she feels she must consider to be perfect, but in battle it all seems to just melt away. 

‣ Has a weird relationship to being good in battle, actually. Of course she’s proud of it in some capacity, given that it’s the one thing she’s good at and that the people she cares about are impressed by it, but she’s not crazy about having to hurt others. Like Corrin, she wants to avoid actually killing people where she can and tends to try and incapacitate or injure to the point of being unable to fight, but it’s not always a goal she can achieve. She tries not to think about any of the people she has eliminated over time, and if she does, she often prays to the gods for them to have better lives wherever they have gone next, as well as for their forgiveness.

[highpriestessofchildsacrifice]

Reminds me of how everyone had to figure out what PCOS and endometriosis and adenomyosis when it literally started ruining their lives

And bc so much of this knowledge is oppressed by misogyny, unfunded, unplatformed, informally disseminated, still experimental to an extent -- it gets warped, constantly. people started being like "everyone needs to take period pain seriously! I might be writhing on the floor bleeding out and throwing up my guts and that's normal and I deserve menstrual leave for that" Like wait back up. no that's not at all normal. Of course u should get paid sick days but u also deserve free and quality medical intervention in this shitstain of a country, regardless of what the powers that be might have u believe

It's all coupled w this desperate need to not be "ill", "sick", "unwell", "abnormal" (bc those labels come w so many bad consequences in our society) but to still have ur pain and discomfort taken seriously. So heartbreaking. of course ur pain shld b treated seriously but it is also extremely important to know, accept, and have recognized that you are sick. That something more needs to happen for you than just the accommodation of your symptoms. You and your body deserve treatment

[withbriefthanksgiving]

May I gently say that in general - but especially during a genocide and amongst those who want to bring it to its end - we need to start embedding disability justice.

How many Palestinians are now deafened, blind, mentally unwell, physically disabled etc? The world we want to build - can these people access it? What about our own disabled siblings and comrades - are we bringing them with us? Do we see them with us in this new world we are trying to make?

I know that there are many places where obviously, it will not be fully accessible. Nobody is saying we need a blind man to be a sharpshooter.

But what we are saying is that we need to wrestle with the ways that settler colonial, imperialist racial capitalism has successfully propagandised to us regarding disability. Things we take for granted. Things we see as common sense - are these things actually the natural state of affairs? Or does this mode of thinking reinforce capitalist and settler colonialist violences in small and big ways?

Let me bring this down from the abstract and macro, to the more concrete and micro. For example: we realise that:

one way the American (+ Israeli + other allies) retains its stranglehold on its hegemony is by a vast propaganda machine. This is audio visual media, like news, TV, books etc.

these countries do not want a politically educated working class. schools and universities do not give people the ways to analyse and critique their society, and come up with ways to change it for the good of everyone.

These countries have legal systems that facilitate (enable, make it easy) capitalist productions. Such as no maternity leave, bad workplace protections etc.

This type of working disables people. It makes people sick and unwell, physically and mentally. It’s hostile to anyone whose body or mind can’t function well in a job.

This is on top of historical processes of disablement and debilitation by genocide, ethnic cleansing, colonialism, war etc.

The capitalist entertainment industry exists to make money, and to make money off a numb, overworked and tired population. there are a lot of tv shows books etc which have no real substance, and provide comfort for peoples difficult lives. And people are not encouraged to engage with this critically. Often they also don’t have the time or the tools to do so.

Therefore, any of us who seriously want to change this, must realise that

We have a lot of propaganda to counteract. I think many people realise this, and share a lot of tweets, book excerpts etc. however-

Sharing is not enough. We need to be sharing information in an accessible way.

This is because the masses are - for the reasons I’ve laid out above - tired and disabled. They may not be well educated or literate. They may not speak the dominant language of your country very fluently. They also have been drenched in capitalist and imperialist propaganda for years.

Therefore: order to reach these masses effectively, the information we are sharing should be shared as accessibly as possible.

A simple way we can do that is by copying and pasting text if we post screenshots of tweets, articles etc. This makes it easier for blind people and people with visual impairments. They can have the text read to them by using screen readers. But not everyone has screen readers, which also read alt-text. Image descriptions allow people to magnify or enlarge the text. People can also translate the text online to a language they understand better.

Please describe your screenshots.

The majority of image descriptions on this website are done by other disabled people. It takes longer for us to describe the images after, because you have to use an online converter. Or type it out ourselves. It’s a lot quicker if you are taking a screenshot to copy paste the text at the same time.

I know it’s not always possible to do. And it’s hard to get into the habit. But I think we need revolutionary discipline to practice and get into this habit, those of us who can.

I am also speaking to myself here. It took me 2 years before I started seriously to describe text. I was shamed into doing so by blind users on this app who were rightfully upset at how those of us with sight completely erase them from online experiences. It kind of awkward to do at first. You kind of feel silly. But you do get better. Even if you are a small account, it’s important to try your hand at this. It can be an introduction into mutual aid for a lot of us - helping each other out because it’s important for us to help each other and to have links with each other, including disabled people.

I think the more of us who try to do this, it will lead us to increase accessibility in other areas, like in-person organising.

If you’re interested in getting into describing text, have a look at my tag: image descriptions. It’s got some tips, tutorials and explanations written by people who rely on images being described to get info and navigate the web.

Thank you for reading.